I'm currently rewatching season 5 and the episode where Riley leaves just happened. The ending annoys me so much (even if does make sense). If Riley would just glimpse down, he would see Buffy there, doing exactly what he wanted: trying to give him a reason to stay.

Buffy isn't a perfect girlfriend but it's clear that she loves Riley and, more importantly, trusts him. Maybe she doesn't need to rely on him in a physical fight but she obviously believes that he's going to be there when she needs him (at least most of the time). She can't always lean on him, even when she wants to, but that has more to do with her own issues than her relationship with Riley.

The real problem is Riley's deeply rooted insecurity. He wants to be the one to protect her, especially in a physical sense, and feels weak, unimportant and emasculated if he can't do that. After meeting Angel, his insecurities really ramp up and he compares himself to him constantly. In his mind Buffy thinks he's inferior to Angel. When Buffy doesn't tell him everything or come to him with all of her emotional needs, he can't handle it.

Istead of addressing his issues, Riley blames Buffy. Buffy doesn't love him, Buffy doesn't need him, Buffy doesn't care about him, when really that's what he thinks and feels. He takes his feelings as fact rather than a reflection of his own insecurities. Even when presented with evidence of Buffy's feelings, he ignores it or twists it into further proof of his beliefs. He can betray Buffy's trust because he's convinced himself that Buffy doesn't really care about him.

From Buffy's side this is tragic: She's had to take care of her family and be strong for them, so she's had to hide her fears and pain. She's trying to keep Dawn safe. She has a lot on her plate and, understandably, hasn't really been able to spare much of her time or energy on Riley. She believes he understands and still will be there once things calm down. Then she finds out how wrong she was.

No matter what he says, Riley tries to put the blame for his actions on Buffy. He's so convinced Buffy doesn't love him that he isn't capable of listening to Buffy when she's telling him how she feels. He brings up his need to take care of her but, as Buffy kind of points out, it would really be her taking care of him by trying to fulfill that need. She's the Slayer and that's why she can't fully rely on anyone else. Riley wants something that Buffy can't give.

He then gives her an ultimatum: If she wants him to stay, she needs to give him a reason to do so. (Again, it's on her to save the relationship even though he's the one who broke her trust.) In reality, she can't give him a good enough reason to stay. This is all rooted in Riley's insecurity and Buffy can't fix that for him, no one can. Even if she showered him in love for the rest of eternity, it wouldn't change anything. It certainly hasn't before.

Still, she tries once again to prove to Riley that she loves him. She rushes to stop him from leaving but it's too late. No matter how hard she tries to yell, he can't hear her. And he doesn't look back.

I think Riley doesn't look back because he's certain that Buffy isn't there. He doesn't even glance back because that would mean he still has hope that Buffy loves him. The fact that she's there is proof that she does love him. Riley is blind to Buffy's love for him, so he can't see her.

I JUST THINK THAT. THEY.

Typhlosions again, now with bonus Quilava and Cyndaquil! Their shapes are just SO satisfying to draw. Hope ya enjoy my more realistic take on these Pokemon :D

wayne boys do it best

Sooo NONE of you want to fall deeply unhealthily in love with me rn……?

huh. there's something on my face

To me the joy and beauty of vocal synthesizers has always been that they don't sound real and exploring that to create artistic expression that can't be achieved by human voices, so seeing them become more and more realistic is disheartening, almost? Especially since a lot of artists make the same voice banks sound so different and have their own personal charm. I'm glad that people will be able to make things that sound realistic, but I'm worried that songs that intentionally play out of sounding as realistic as possible will be sidelined, discouraged, no longer created, impossible to find, or unsupported by fans of vocal synthesizers. I don't want things to just push towards being as realistic as possible. There is beauty in how everyone's usage of the same voice banks sound different. There is beauty in the lack of realistic sounding vocals in vocal synthesizers.

showing off the commission i got from @ruporas for my fic, In the Next Life!

i'm still so incredibly excited about this. it's been some months since the story event that caused these scars, but i wanted SO BADLY to be able to see what they'd actually Look like... & Here They Are.

ruporas rendered the scars So Well, i just cant stop Looking at them... there's a Fresh & a Healed version, which ruporas was kind enough to give me without additional charge (Thank U Again😭😭) so i get to see what it looks like at different stages.

Lichtenberg Figures. in terms of actual scarring, lightning strikes that people survive don't tend to leave permanent scars, but the lichtenberg figures that they (usually temporarily) leave behind are just So Cool... Now, what happens when you get someone who can survive an amount of electricity/lightning that would be Frankly Lethal to any normal human person?

This :]

I was just thinking that, if we do actually get amnesiac Jay, him eventually getting his memories back could be really interesting. Because obviously you’ve got all the great memories with his family and the people he loves, but at the same time just— the horrors. The guy has so much trauma piled up from over the years and I feel like that would be A Lot to have dumped on you all at once.

had a hilarious thought on my hormones doctor appointment

Seeing your art really is the visual equivalent of fluffy boi naptime snuggles

Jokes aside- thank you! I really do love drawing the warm sleepy stuff, so this means a lot!

sketch dump of things I'll probably never finish

giovanna d'arco

Watch out!!

more visible + lines

nightow when i catch you nightow.............