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halemerry · 9 months

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I’m doing it. I’m breaking down the Scene. You know the one. I've been tearing it apart for a week straight now in discord and figured I should leave my observations here. So, uh, yeah, this one's a big one so buckle up folks!

I want to start with the build up because I can never leave well enough alone and because I think the framing we have coming into this sequence is important. We start with the camera on Mr. Acts of Service himself. Crowley, after banishing Muriel, starts cleaning up the bookshop. The music playing is the soft slow rendition of the opening theme. He is returning this space to the status quo, resetting back to normal, fully intending to do this for Aziraphale before dragging him out to the Ritz, falling back on their typical pattern of going out together for food and drink.

Now in a moment he's going to get interrupted by Nina and Maggie but before we get there I want to take a second to draw attention to the area of the bookshop that Crowley will be operating in for the bulk of this. This space is one we very frequently see Aziraphale in. It's his desk behind the till - a spot linked intrinsically to him, even down to the fact that it's located on the east side of the shop. The windows are throwing beams of light onto Aziraphale's chair and onto the same spot Crowley will stand during The Scene. This lighting choice will not change from now until our last shots in the bookshop and the way the blocking plays around these sunbeams is very aware (as Good Omens nearly always is) of exactly where they will land.

Nina and Maggie enter the scene to have a chat about boundaries and communication. Maggie, his own mirror, tells him flat out that he can't play with their lives like that. Maggie and Nina then both tell him that he and Aziraphale need to talk. And I don’t think they're wrong, exactly, but I do think that Aziraphale and Crowley are actually a lot better at communicating in general than they are in these following high stakes scenes. But that's some meta for later - for now I want to just focus on the particular way Crowley's been primed for the conversation he and Az are about to have. Nina in particular does something really interesting. She does exactly what we as the audience did when we first saw Nina and Maggie: she mistakenly projects herself onto Crowley. She says he has trust issues because she does and in the process accidentally frames the core of their problem as Crowley needing to allow himself to trust Aziraphale, a thing that he actively already does and has done for quite some time and has been shown to us several times throughout the two seasons.

Now the build up we get for Aziraphale going into this conversation is very small. By which I mean practically non-existent. We start at the end of his conversation with the Metatron who tells him to go tell his friend the good news - which notably does not imply that the news is something that would require Crowley to make a choice - and sends Aziraphale on his way. Now the most crucial thing in this sequence, to me, is the expressions Aziraphale makes when he thinks the Metatron isn't looking at him. While polite and smiley when engaged with him, Az's expression falls as soon as he doesn't have eyes on him. Something is wrong and Aziraphale knows it.

Aziraphale enters the shop. The doorway is dark and shadowy and he hasn't composed himself yet - though he does give Nina and Maggie a little smile as they leave. Then, as soon as they're not looking at him, but before he approaches Crowley, the tension is back.

He hesitates, then smiles and approaches Crowley. Crowley, planted dead center in that beam of light from earlier, takes off his glasses and promptly starts nervously rambling. The music cuts off here entirely, giving us nothing to focus on but the noises coming from our lead actors, the background noise from the street, and the ticking of the clock in the background. Aziraphale puts up his hands like he's going to interrupt then lowers them again as Crowley keeps talking, his face shifting into this helpless sort of smitten look.

Now look at the light and how it hits the bookshelves behind Crowley as he tries to get his confession going. It's in the shape of a wing. Keep an eye on that - when the camera chooses to show us this one wing of light is important.

Aziraphale then interrupts and there are two things I want to draw attention to here as Aziraphale fumbles for words. First of all is the fact that he glances in the direction of the door (and the Metatron) at least three times as he's struggling to speak.

Secondly, I want to draw attention to the words Az actually says here. He first echoes the Metatron's earlier statement about good news. He then does not roll into the news itself and instead glances at the door and says the Metatron. He starts rambling about the Metatron to a very confused looking Crowley and evetually talks his way into that the Metatron said something. He then hits a wall again, scrambling to find words and instead of explaining the context of what the Metatron says he lands on Gabriel. His brain latches onto someone obviously on the forefront of both their minds and something vaguely relevant to the news he's about to share. He rambles more about Gabriel's job, glancing once again at the door in the middle of this, still avoiding getting to the actual point or perhaps even synthesizing said point as he goes.

We then cut to what is framed as a flashback. I think it is very notable we only see this as Az is telling it to us. In other words that this is not us witnessing an event happening but us witnessing what Aziraphale is telling Crowley. This sequence is the single scene where the Metatron calls Crowley by name despite actively avoiding it in any real time continuity sequences. He uses it twice here which I think also is the strongest thread in here that tells us that we are seeing what Crowley is being told not necessarily what actually happened.

The instant the idea of restoring Crowley comes up the wing of light behind Crowley loses visibility. Crowley's speechless for a moment so Aziraphale fills the silence, already looking like he wants to cry as he talks about the old days. (I also can't help but to notice that the lights behind Az in this shot look like eyes.) Crowley finally speaks and circles around the beam of light he's been standing in like an object seeking to re-establish a source of gravity. The music cuts back in here with tense drawn out notes.

Crowley talks about how Hell offered him his place back and he turned them down. Aziraphale in turn presses on ideas that we know he doesn't really believe. It's a echo of the bandstand and uses a lot of the same language of that fight - another fight we know features Aziraphale saying things he knows aren't true. By now, we have seen him multiple times this season express he does not want to go back and make it abundantly clear that the side they have made for themselves is important to him. We see him actively calling angels bad and incompetent, contrary to everything he's telling Crowley here. We see him be the one to repetitively remind Crowley that they are on their side and be the one that always draws attention to that first. Yet here he says Heaven is the side of light to Crowley - who by the way is literally framed in light. The frame is telling us outright that Crowley is already Good as he is, while Az's expressions are telling us he knows Heaven isn't.

Aziraphale can't tell him that he did not turn down the job and Crowley does another orbit. The music cuts again. This time, he stops with his back to Az, tilts his head upward and decides to ruin me by invoking God.

Here he is, hearing these awful things that he was sure they had moved on from, hearing these things he has tried for so long and so hard to help them both unlearn. But these sorts of habits and lessons are insidious and he knows that and he himself is even a victim of that himself. I mean, don't get me wrong, he recognizes this is weird, I think, but between his own self worth issues and the stress of the few days they'd had can't work out what exactly is off here. He's confused and lost and just been told, in his mind, that he is not good enough as he is - a thing he has always on some level also believed. Yet he reaches out to the parent that taught him that lesson in the first place for strength and grounds himself with that. He circles back to stand in the beam of light and, with that wing of light finally backlighting him again, he is brave and tries to be enough anyway. He bows his head downward, fully emerging the line of this body in the light and tries again. Because even now, even after that emotional blow, Crowley is an optimist who can't help but to try.

At first Aziraphale can't figure out quite what is going on here. He squints at Crowley and glances at the door again. Crowley meanwhile keeps continually glancing upward, whether at God or to hold back tears or some combination of both. In most of these shots Crowley bisects the room, creating a dark half to his left and a light half to his right.

Crowley says he relies on Aziraphale. Even here, even now when he's just hurt him. Because it is the truth. Because Aziraphale makes him feel less alone. Because Aziraphale proves to him that no matter how fucked the system is that there is still good in the world, even if he doesn't always agree with it.

It is only once there is no doubt what Crowley is doing that Aziraphale starts shaking his head in very small quick shakes. He looks panicked even as they both physically draw closer to each other. It's huge not here, not like this energy to me. Aziraphale asks Crowley to come with to help him run Heaven. This is the point where Crowley starts tearing up.

Crowley then says you can't leave this bookshop, trying to say you can't leave me. Az, nearly in tears himself, says 'oh Crowley. Nothing lasts forever' as a means to convey that the books aren't what is important here. Crowley, naturally, hears 'including us.'

Crowley looks down again, quietly agrees, and puts on his glasses, covering himself up again. He then wishes Aziraphale good luck and the music starts up again, still tense but sorrowful now. He leaves the light and heads to the door. Az can't help but to call after him. Please wait. And Crowley can't help but to listen. It's worth noting here that even as he rotates toward the north door, the light still gently hits his face. The shots in general are darker though. He's moved away from the light but it still can't help but to touch him.

"Come with me," says Aziraphale and then after a pause adds "To Heaven." Aziraphale, looking heartbroken, starts one of two 'I' statements he will struggle around in the next few moments. He lands on I need. Which. I want to pause there a moment because holy shit. That is not something they say out loud either. Az looks at him a moment, visibly struggling before he says his dialogue about Crowley not understanding his offer. Like he's said something he didn't mean to and needs to cover it up or like he can't handle the silence after such an honest statement. And on some level he's not wrong there. Because Crowley doesn't understand what Aziraphale is trying to say. But Aziraphale doesn't understand the way Crowley is reading it to course correct either.

Crowley says that he does understand and that he understands better than Aziraphale does. And he also isn't wrong either, from his perspective. Because he does understand the implications behind the offer theoretically in play here. Because he does know that the position Aziraphale is presenting him is not going to result in the outcome Aziraphale is presenting him with. There are some things you can't undo just like memories slipping through the cracks.

Az says there's nothing more to say, trying to dismiss Crowley despite having been the one to pull him to a stop moments ago. He puts on a fake polite smile for a beat but then his is jaw sets, mouth working as his eyes drop - unable to look Crowley in the eye.

Crowley tells him to listen as the music fades out and points upward. Aziraphale humors this, glancing up a few times before looking frustrated, saying he can't hear anything. The light from the window shines down in his direction without actually touching him. Crowley tells him "That's the point. No nightingales." The shot he's on here is a dark one without even any of the book shops pillars visible in it to brighten the shot.

Aziraphale looks frozen a moment here and then as Crowley calls him an idiot and says 'we could have been us' his face completely crumbles. He rapidly glances away to hide his face and Crowley moves and reaches to pull him back. They're both distraught. Az is clearly already holding back tears even before Crowley touches him. The angle of this shot frames Aziraphale in the light of the window. For the first time in this whole sequence Aziraphale is in the light, literally being physically pulled into it by Crowley.

The music swells, playing a similar theme to the one that plays as the Pillars of Creation are formed at the start of the season. They shift back and forth, the camera focusing on Aziraphale's face and hands. His hands move uncertainly, trying to reach out even as he's struggling emotionally. He is visibly shaking but he crucially does not pull away, not even a little.

His hands settle on Crowley's back, right where his wings would be, and for a brief moment gets taller, like he's allowing himself to lean into the kiss. They press together tightly, their mutual gravity sending them crashing together before they break apart. When they do Aziraphale looks devastated and his eyes move pretty much instantly to look out the window where the Metatron would be.

Crowley's glasses make him harder to read here, but he looks at Aziraphale like a man awaiting judgement in a trial he knows he's already lost. He's sad too, but as always, is waiting for Aziraphale's reaction. Because he might push continually at he boundaries of them as a unit but he has always let Aziraphale decide where to set them in stone.

Az fumbles over words here. He gets stuck on "I" here and lets it hang in the air. He then visibly thinks his words over, his expression slowly filling with resolve as he comes to some sort of conclusion. Then, like it's difficult to say, he falls back into old coded language. "I forgive you." A thing he has always said in response to things that he agrees with but cannot or should not allow himself to have.

Crowley sighs and tells him not to bother, refusing to fall into the old pattern that Aziraphale has. He is setting a boundary, for once, and even if it is one born from misunderstanding I am proud of him for being able to. He turns away and leaves. And this is where Az seems most in danger of falling apart. His lips move as Crowley goes, forming the start of a 'no' after him. He draws back from the door and turns his body away from it, physically distancing himself from anything that would feel like following Crowley. Except he can't help himself. With shaking hands he reaches up to touch his lips. He presses in, like he's trying to recreate the pressure and then his jaw works a moment and his expression sets as resolved.

The Metatron enters through the front door, which is framed in dark lighting. Aziraphale looks panicked and immediately turns his whole body away from him to hide his face while he collects himself.

He turns around after a beat and the Metatron asks 'how did he take it?' This is an odd question that only sort of half fits the fact that we are meant to believe at this point - that Aziraphale should be obtaining a yes or no from Crowley. It's not asking Crowley's choice at all. It's like the Metatron assumed a different conversation had happened or perhaps that he already knew the answer.

Aziraphale says he took it badly and the Metatron just takes a moment to direct a few casual digs at Crowley. He references him being stubborn and too curious - all the while avoiding the use of this name. At this point Az's eyes are locked out the window in the direction Crowley vanished to. The Metatron asks if he's ready to start despite originally having promised Az time to think over his answer. Aziraphale keeps glancing out the window.

For a moment he cracks, stepping away from the Metatron and back toward the east side of the bookshop. For the only time in this whole sequence he steps right into the sunbeam Crowley started in. It notably never illuminates his face as he mentions the issue of his bookshop (a statement absolutely not about the bookshop).

The Metatron explains Muriel will take care of it. Aziraphale looks back out the window with the start of an objection.

The Metatron interrupts him asking if there's anything he needs to take with him. Az's mouth takes a moment to try and form words. He steps out of the light again, starts to object, and then cuts off, eyes back to the window. Then his expression shifts again, settling in another state of resolve before he puts on his falsely polite face and follows the Metatron out.

As they leave the shop we cut back to Crowley. Crowley, who could've left to go handle his own emotions, did not leave. Instead he planted himself there, nice and noticeable. Like he wanted Aziraphale to see and know that he still has a choice. Like he needs to see Aziraphale make that choice for himself. Like he can't quite bring himself to be the one to close that last door. He stands there, framed by light, and doesn't move until the doors to the elevator to Heaven close behind Aziraphale. He then glances at Nina and Maggie and then gets in the Bentley, which starts playing the song that we now know he knows is supposed to be theirs. He turns off the music and drives away.

So there's a lot in these sequences and most of it probably won't help us figure out exactly what comes next, but there are definite signs that all is not as it's being presented to us. Whether he's actively lying or not, something is wrong that Aziraphale either can't or won't talk about frankly with Crowley. I suspect, whether it's under stress from a literal threat or because he believes that it is the safest option for them, that Aziraphale is doing all of this to protect Crowley.

There are also all sorts of signals here, especially in the lights, that gesture at the fact their togetherness is a net good. Together they are balanced and stronger for it and likely more in alignment with the Ineffable Plan. And, more importantly than that, that said togetherness is so clearly what they both want. They have loved each other longer than anything alive has ever loved anyone and none of this changes that. They both are saying that in their own ways here, even if those ways are not ones the other is particularly good at picking up and I for one cannot wait to get to see the payoff of them learning how to.

#good omens #gos2 spoilers #good omens spoilers #good omens meta #kind of #is it meta if its mostly me pointing and yelling?#come suffer with me #you have no idea how many times i had to watch these sequences for this #crowley #aziraphale #the bookshop

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brookebellamy · 1 month

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BookTok Needs to Read the Room

by Brooke Bellamy

As a fanfic community, we don’t leave negative, snotty comments in the same way we don’t criticize our kid’s volunteer soccer coach. Well, I suppose some people do but at least that’s commonly understood to be in poor taste to publicly ridicule someone contributing their time, effort and talents to the community for free.

Full blog below the cut but I'd super duper appreciate it if you consider checking it out for free on medium 🙏

Why We Shouldn’t Hate on Fanfic Writers

Spend no less than five minutes with me and you’ll probably — whether you want to or not — be brought up to speed on the latest fandom drama happening in my discord servers or Twitter groupchats.

I’m a fangirl, it’s exactly what it says on the can. I’m a copywriter by day and by night an avid creator and connoisseur of fanfiction — these days mostly about TOP GUN (yes, that TOP GUN) but it tends to vary on a semi-yearly basis.

I get my kicks in weird ways and yet I’m far from alone in that.

Beyond the movies and the characters, I’m interested in fandom as a whole or as we like to call it fandom meta.

The unspoken rules of this wacky subculture dating back to the 1960s. Watching beloved or controversial fanfics get pulled off the web, reworked and eventually published as independent stories in their own right. The constant push and pull against a mainstream that is becoming increasingly aware of something that used to be a shame-filled, hidden hobby only for the nerdiest of the nerds.

Enter, Stage Right: BookTok

Fanfic going somewhat mainstream is thanks in no small part to TikTok, specifically BookTok — the community that reviews and discusses published romance novels. I’m not really a member of that community but from what I’ve gathered BookTok is mostly made up of millennial women who voraciously consume books of varying degrees of quality and really, really, really care about the sex. Or, to use their own lingo, spice.

Like they’re almost getting a little weird about it, not gonna lie.

To an outsider, though I hardly should be considered one, BookTok seems to be a somewhat spiritual successor to the “Mommy Porn” craze that swept through the country with 50 Shades of Grey — the most famous example of a fanfiction (originally about Twilight) that was repurposed into a full-fledged novel.

But I digress.

I’m a creator on FandomTok which naturally brushes up quite a bit with my cousins over on the published, professional side of the street. It’s a mostly peaceful co-existence, but it is TikTok so it also can be a fucking nightmare.

Case in point: I opened up the app last week and was immediately bombarded by a presumably millennial woman from BookTok ranting about how much she hated a popular Harry Potter fanfiction.

I didn’t read the fic she’s talking about but from what I can gather it takes place after the books conclude and focuses on a tumultuous love affair between Hermione Granger and Draco Malfoy. That would be Emma Watson and Tom Felton for the non-stans.

Now, I’m no Harry Potter fan. Quite the opposite, actually.

Some of my earliest and most deeply unpleasant childhood memories are that of older cousins chasing me around our grandparents’ house yelling all sorts of spells and Potter-lingo at me. I’m also pretty sure I got locked in a cabinet at one point — but that’s a story for another day.

So it goes without saying: I’m no fan of J.K. Rowling, her work or her vitriolic hate speech against trans people.

However I do live, breathe and love fanfiction and so that means my support has to extend to the Potterheads and their stories as well.

So back to the video, I’ll give you the TLDR:

OP is upset that she’s spent so much time on what she feels to be a very overhyped fanfiction. She doesn’t typically read fic and so she’s confused and angry as to why the writer changed so much of the plot. She thinks it’s an unrealistic story, that its readers have poor taste and she’s mad that the fanfic’s writer killed off Harry.

She also reduces the entire 380,000 word story into being only about sex, despite it being heavily based on the gender-based oppression and violence that takes place in The Handmaid’s Tale.

OP concludes the first of a series of videos on this singular fanfic by proclaiming that a real Harry Potter fan would never tolerate something like this.

I watched just 10 seconds of the video before I had to put my phone down from seeing red.

Eventually, I watched it all the way through, left a couple of angry comments, made a few video responses of my own and eventually blocked her because I can’t stand internet beef with people engaging in an argument in deliberately poor faith.

But I’m still really annoyed about it, if it’s not obvious.

OP’s video has about 30k views at the time of my writing this. That might not seem like too much for an app that regularly sees content explode with 15 million views, so let me reframe it for you:

Imagine you and a friend dined at a massively successful Italian restaurant (I’m talking reservations a month in advance at a minimum). You loved it so much you spent weeks thinking about the pasta and how much you wanted to go back for more. But the restaurant is popular for a reason and so you couldn’t get another reservation. After a while you decided to try your hand at recreating some of the dishes at home. You even opted to have a little fun and throw in your own take on it. You spent a long time researching the ingredients, practicing your technique and ended up with a final dish that you were quite proud of. In fact, you were so proud of and excited by your creation that you invited that same friend over to try it one night. For some inexplicable reason, she was visibly angered at the invite. She told you that you were wasting your time trying to recreate the magic from the restaurant, but she showed up for dinner anyway. Empty handed, of course. Not even a cheap bottle of wine for your trouble. She took the first bite, gagged, announced she hated it and then for some reason decided to power through your entire meal. Literally licked the. plate. clean. She then stood up and left your house without a word of thanks or even a goodbye. And then the next day you got a notification from TikTok that she made ten minutes worth of videos about how shit your cooking is, and her videos reached enough people to fill up Madison Square Garden one and a half times.

And that analogy, though long-winded, still isn’t even perfect. In reality, the fic author didn’t invite OP to read the story; OP found it on her own.

So really it’s like your friend barged into your kitchen, took a bite of your pasta and then put you on blast for having a bland sauce.

Words (And Where We Say Them) Matter

30,000 views certainly isn’t viral, but it’s enough to drastically alter the fanfic writer’s creative experience. It’s enough to ruin the magic for a devoted fan just trying to have fun and write a little story about their favorite characters smooching.

The disgust and anger OP brought to table is shocking and in blatant disregard for the fic writing community’s golden rule:

If you don’t like, don’t read.

There’s a ton of other fandom colloquial terms — don’t yuck my yums is a particular favorite of mine — but they all mean more or less the same thing.

Don’t be a hater. Don’t spoil the fun. Don’t hurt anyone. Don’t be cruel in this space intended for creativity, community and friendship.

BookTok is increasingly diving into the wonderful, wacky world of fanfic and yet many of creators refuse to learn the unique culture and norms that have existed for decades.

For instance, it’s not an uncommon phenomenon for a single nasty comment to stop a fanfic in its tracks. That may sound like a hypersensitive author, but I argue:

Non-consensual criticism has no place in fanfiction.

I say non-consensual because in fandom we do actually have protocols for critiques. A beta read is a common term for a peer review, where the writer actively seeks out feedback from another writer to improve grammar, story structure, etc. However, this is a closed, private exchange between two community members that have established trust and connection — it’s a safe space.

Fanfiction that is deemed harmful or even dangerous is also fair game, though we tend to keep our commentary mostly to things like:

“This story contains sexual violence that was not properly tagged, please update the tags ASAP so not to trigger others”

When we post, of course we know that technically we’re opening ourselves up to the internet. However, I’m not blasting my quirky little Iron Man stories to the front page of Medium. I’m sharing it with a relatively small, somewhat isolated community filled with others who also happen to like quirky little stories about Iron Man.

For instance, it’s very common for fics to conclude with brief send-offs like:

“This was my first time writing from Peeta’s pov, so be nice please 🙏” “I wrote this for my friend’s birthday — I hope her day is as happy as Edward and Bella ended up here!!!” “English isn’t my first language and I’m not from the UK so apologies if any of the stuff about the train station or taxi cab seems a little off!”

In my opinion, this is not hypersensitivity; this is a request — sometimes a plea — to be kind about amateur work and to treat it as such.

We’re Talking Your Mom’s Pickleball League, Not the NFL Here

Fanfiction is not formally published writing, even though it’s “published” on a website like Tumblr or ArchiveOfOurOwn. More times than not, the fic writer is the only person that has eyes on the draft before the story goes live.

It doesn’t receive thorough review from a publisher. It doesn’t go through rounds and rounds of edits and comment periods like a professional writer’s work will.

Fic writers don’t receive any payment, sponsorship or credit for their work. They can’t because the entirety of fanfiction depends on writers cooperating with extremely delicate copyright laws — a fascinating topic I’ll probably elaborate on at some point.

There is literally nothing to be gained by writing and sharing fanfiction beyond the personal satisfaction and pride in contributing to your community’s collective joy.

Old Men Yells At Cloud, Harry Potter Edition

As a fanfic community, we don’t leave negative, snotty comments in the same way we don’t criticize our kid’s volunteer soccer coach.

Well, I suppose some people do but at least that’s commonly understood to be in poor taste to publicly ridicule someone contributing their time, effort and talents to the community for free.

I guess what I’m saying is that BookTok has some catching up to do. Or more aptly, they need to read the fucking room.

Fanfiction is a labor of love — by fans, for fans

If you don’t like a story, just scroll on by. Certainly don’t double down and read 380k of a story you hated in the first three paragraphs.

And if you think it’s so easy to write a “good” story, well then maybe you should give it a try before hating on the writers that are brave enough to share their work with the community.

And so finally, a speed run just a handful of OP and other BookToker’s concerns because if I don’t formally address these points I will lose my goddamn mind:

You guys were okay with the author just blatantly changing things? The mannerisms, the deaths?

Yes, that’s the whole fucking point of a fanfiction. Maverick and Iceman don’t actually kiss in the movies but they sure as hell do when I’m in charge.

What post-apocalyptic world would this ever happen realistically?

Are we really nitpicking the practicality of a post-9/11 wizarding world?

I’m sorry but this story sucked. Here’s a list of my Did-Not-Finish fanfics

Did-Not-Finish (DNF) lists are a popular tool used by BookTokers intended to help their audiences save money and avoid splurging on books they probably won’t jive with.

DNF lists have no place in fanfic because there is no money to save.

If you were a true Harry Potter fan, this would not fly.

No, no. If you were a true fan, you’d embrace your community members and uplift the storytellers that are keeping the magic alive for us all.

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if you made it this far, thanks! consider checking me out on medium for other blog posts on fandom, pop culture and more :)

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thedunesea · 11 months

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Hi. How’s your day?

I just want to say I mostly agree with your post about AI writing. I am a student from science background but is enthusiastic about fictions. Also my native tongue is NOT English.

Because of my……rather unique background knowledge, I feel like I have a “weird” stand about AI writing. I feel like 99% people I know use AI writing tools wrong, either they don’t know how to structure their story, how to create conflicts, or how to communicate with AI writing tools.

In summary, they’re either bad at storytelling or bad at using AI tools.

In fact, I use AI writing tools just like your post suggested—I mainly tell them what sentences I would use to describe the scenery, and see if they have better wording than mine. Or I would ask them which adjectives to use here, as google translate is dumb. Or I would ask if a scene which is not from my own culture make sense, as I don’t want to bother any online folks on this matter.

Your post made me feel less guilty about using the tools. I am not sure whether or not it’s a good thing tbh but thank you. I wanted to have some research about this topic, but I got yelled by people’s angry anti-AI writing posts in my face on tumblr most of the time. Like—I get it, but I wonder am I the only one who has the similar idea on this topic? Then I found your post.

I feel like my main concern now is—by using those tools, am I making the “evil” in others’ eyes stronger? As there are news about AI writing tools using online fanfics to train their models, the tools themselves might be unethical.

Thank you again and hope you don’t mistake my message……I’m here to say “thank you” and try to have some conversations over AI writing.

Hello friend, I'm doing fine, thanks, even if quite busy with the end of the school year approaching. I hope you're doing fine too!

I completely understand your fears and your reserves, and I share them. I think that the issue at hand here has two faces we need to tackle. The first is the tool, i.e. artificial intelligence chat bots; the other issue, the really problematic issue, is the way these bots were trained.

My foray into chat gpt was as a teacher, not as a writer: I needed to assess the potentialities and the drawbacks of the tool, since I'm fairly sure I will soon have to account for it when preparing my courses and perhaps even to integrate it into my teaching routine.

I do think that the tool, if used properly, could be really useful for teaching and learning, and also for everyday life. It's like having a very calm, very proper, very family friendly protocol droid. You have to take everything it says with a grain of salt, but it can help you get what you need (i.e. starter bibliography on a topic you aren't familiar with). It can also be invaluable for the uses you described. AI isn't inherently evil, if (and this is a HUGE if) we regulate its uses in order to let it substitute human work only when that work force can be redirected towards more engaging and more useful tasks, and never as a substitute to human knowledge and creativity.

What is evil is the economic system we live in, and this brings us to the second issue. Chatgpt was trained on data provided for free on the web, data that were never meant for this. This in itself is unethical, and a gross misuse of the web. Honestly I don't care that my fics may have been scrapped, but I understand why people do, and anyway my own feelings on the subject are way beyond the point: this is another egregious example of corporations using people's time and engagement to scrap data and profit, and this is one of the evils of our time.

And yet we keep using evil tools all the time. I use whatsapp, and I still have a facebook profile, so I'm feeding data to meta. I am not vegan, and I know all the evils of intensive animal farming. I don't buy a lot of fast fashion, and yet all my clothes are made in developing countries, and I have no idea of the conditions of the workers there. Heck, the fridge I just bought because the old one broke down is produced by a company that used to produce in Italy but then delocalized to a developing country, firing hundreds of employees.

I couldn't have bought an ethical fridge: I don't even know if they exist, and even if they did, I couldn't afford them. I absolutely couldn't afford to only buy clothes made in Italy or Europe. I could go vegan, but honestly I don't really want to. I eat meat very rarely, I only eat local fish (by which I mean fished in Italy, I don't live on the sea) and I buy eggs from certified cage-free hens. I could get rid of whatsapp, but it would complicate my life to an extreme I am not willing to go to. I can't give up google suite because I use it for work.

One thing I don't do, for example, is order delivery food. That is a form of exploitation I choose not to partake in, because it's a choice I can make. Would I want to have pizza delivered to my house sometime? Yes, of course I would. Am I willing to put at risk the life of someone less privileged than me (delivery people here are mostly immigrants, often 40+ years old) to have my pizza delivered to me instead of getting off my ass and going to buy it myself to take away? No, like hell I am!

Why am I saying all this?

Because until I only buy handmade clothes and locally produced foods, only own ethically produced tech (HA!), never use products from meta or google again... Until then, who am I to lecture anyone on their use of chat gpt?

We live in an unethical world. This doesn't make us above reproach, but we have to choose our battles, and very few of us are really in a position to hate on others for the battles they choose - and those they don't.

If chat gpt helps you, get to know its pros and its cons: if using it doesn't bother you, use it! Chances are that the people that would get mad at you are probably using something unethical too - like driking milk, because the disboscation and pollution and soil consumption that are needed to produce our milk are far worse things than a bot scrapping the ao3.

I am sorry for the ramble, and I hope I didn't come across as patronizing: this wasn't really aimed at you, personally, it was more like a written train of thoughts, because honestly I asked myself the same questions you did when I started to think about if and how to incorporate these bots into my teaching routine, and this is the only answer I could find for myself.

[for the record, I won't use it for teaching, not yet: I want to get to know the tool and its training and all these issues way better before I decide to willingly expose my kids to it]

#ai chatbot #artificial intelligence #answered asks

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technicianuprisingau · 1 year

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So, about the Halberd Mode...

Ah, the Halberd Mode, what... a strange mode it was, kinda out of place if compared to the rest of the Ability Modes - heck, many thought "you can't be serious, that's definitely NOT an ability mode" and in all honesty, I too would agree if I never know the context.

...what, you expect me to defend that to death like any other Robobot Armor-related theories? Eh, not really... but there's got to be an explanation of what that mode really is. Because for all that it's worth, it was so out of place that apparently the armor can scan something that supposedly doesn't reflect a copy ability at all, don't you think?

Thus, in this AU, I must propose a theory, a canonity, about what the Halberd Mode really is...

The Halberd Mode is a bug, or at least, originated from one.

Now, before you ask "wait this doesn't make any sense, wouldn't the HWC be too strict for such mistakes?", yes, it's true, but let's all be honest here: they had it coming. Why exactly? The Adaptor Chip is still on beta release by the time the war happened, where it was hidden for anyone who uses the invader armor to use. Problem was, no one was able to use them safely, it was mostly the aggravating pain that caused them to not use them.

But puffballs, with their ridiculous adapting abilities in their DNA, was able to mostly bypass this pain. Mostly, that is. Which is why this Technician ability exists in the first place. That being said, this chip, being the sole reason of Robobot Armor's existence, is kinda special since it belongs to Kirby, who is a pure puffball, and guess what gimmick this stupid thing has?

Adapt.

Literally adapt.

Yep, Kirby's somewhat reliance on copy abilities are so jacked that the chip decided it was the best, optimal route for a power base. At the start, yes, this is cool, but then with the power as vast as Kirby's, uh...

Let's just say a lot more variables and possibilities are going to pop out, and the systems of both the chip and the armor can't keep up with every single one.

This is precisely why not all abilities have an ability mode counterpart. Yes, Kirby has more than Robobot Armor when it comes to ability mode count, that shows how versatile the chip is, but the invader armor vessel has its limit too, much lower than the haha funni helmet.

Now with that out of the way... Why Halberd Mode?

Well, you see, with the countless variables a copy ability can get, things can get a bit out of control. As Robobot Armor's system evolved alongside Kirby, new modes begin to pop out left and right, as if to keep up with the copy ability count. Unfortunately, eventually the vessel's system hits its limit, and in a desperate attempt to understand why, the system bugged itself at a certain point.

While the system has managed to develop very well on minor features (hence the eyelids being able to help them emote better, them having their own voice, etc), on major features it gets... rather messy. And it gets a lot worse with cases such as this mode and the Final Weapon. In which, about the latter, that's a story for another day.

The mode was born from misunderstandings. At the time, Meta Knight was telling Kirby to get to the Halberd, unfortunately their distance was too far, and it devolves into yelling and screaming real quick. Eventually, Kirby was lost on what Meta Knight was trying to say... and after talking it out with Robobot Armor, thought that he asked him to scan the Halberd. Except Meta Knight NEVER asked this. And so, the ship was scanned, and the bug awakens due to not just the factors above, but also the fact that the Battleship Halberd... doesn't really yield an ability whatsoever...

...or maybe it does?

After events of the war, Susie and Meta Knight begin to try and crack the code as how something like this happened, but soon, they come to the realization that this battleship has wings. Perhaps... just if the bug never came in the first place... then maybe Robobot Armor would've gotten a Wing Mode rather than whatever that was? Maybe. It was just a theory.

Either way, the bug proceeds to mess with the perception system of the armor, before forming the mode due to various errors in its attempts. And unfortunately, this hits Robobot Armor's internal systems like a truck. And we mean it. During the transformation, they felt weirded out at first... before realizing their core AI, their supposed 'soul', proceeding to glitch in and out. The result? An equivalent to a stroke for technological beings. The armor's AI suffers, buffering in and out, causing internal pain that even the system can't understand where it came from. It's unfixable.

Poor Robobot Armor could barely catch a breath once the transformation was over, and even during the fight, they run into issues as they feel a lot of sudden pain, which only got worse when their vessel (fused with the Halberd, by the way!) received damage. What doesn't help is this stubborn soul, being the dumbass they are, pretends everything is okay so they don't hold anyone back (no sire your systems are feeling an equivalent to a stroke please say it because Kirby is genuinely cautious of your well being).

Trust me, no one was happy once they finally confessed regarding this to everyone else. Seriously, Robobot, we love you and cherish you, stop trying to hide your pain for the sake of being strong, you're giving Kirby a heart attack.

Tl;dr Halberd Mode was a mistake because a bug emerged from an attempt to keep up with Kirby's capabilities and now it's unfixable and sh^t. The result is exacerbating pain and glitches materializing in Robobot having a freaking stroke. Gg!

#kirby #kirby au #technician uprising #technicianuprisinglore #kirby art #robobot armor #kirby series #kirby fanart #kirby planet robobot #anyways thank you ibispaintx's filters for sponsoring this drawing #final weapon #idk what else to tag but hahah look guys trauma!!

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sword-dad-fukuzawa · 2 years

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META META META how about something with regards to the fact that misaki and aoi look so similar; i remember we were yelling about that at one time, when i was liveblogging my mars red breakdown to you XD

(Apologies in advance. This might not make a lot of sense.)

You know, after rewatching episode one, I think the similarities between Aoi and Misaki are meant to contrast Maeda and Shutaro.

Because Maeda and Misaki, right, are a tragedy. They’re a tragedy that reaches its climax in episode 1 and leaves you mildly confused as to who Misaki is, what’s going on with Maeda (god knows that man doesn’t show what he’s thinking or feeling) and why we’re supposed to care, other than that a very pretty woman who was only mostly crazy has just killed herself in broad daylight. But the interesting thing is--Misaki and Aoi, as foils for each other, is set up in that episode. These are two characters who have never met and yet it’s very obvious that they’re connected somehow.

(ep1, Aoi and Maeda. It’s fairly obvious that Maeda is Jokanaan from the start, but Aoi’s shadow overlaying Misaki’s image is very clear foreshadowing here.)

They’re both extremely kind people. They both look very similar. They’re both connected in some way to the two male leads of Mars Red.

And, interestingly--they’re both kind to Defrott.

After looking at the manga, it seems to me like they split Aoi into two characters for the anime--Aoi, whom Shutaro loves, and Misaki, whom Maeda loves. And I think it’s telling that Defrott loves them both in his “cannot bear to attach himself to humanity and companionship yet craves to be treated like a younger sibling” fashion.

God, Defrott. I could talk for hours about that guy. Anyway.

In sum: yes! Lots of similarities! Once you watch ep7 and you see the sort of person Misaki is (gentle, loving, quietly pining for her silly fiancee who is busy amputating his own arm/hunting vampires/overworking himself) you realize that not only does she look like Aoi, but they’re fundamentally the same sort of person.

But here’s the thing about the both of them. They’re both inherently tied to the central narrative of Mars Red by their relation to the two male leads, Maeda and Shutaro. So then you can look at those pairs in tandem and see how they’re meant to mirror each other.

For both of them, there’s a separation involving vampirism--Shutaro and Misaki--and a separation involving war--Shutaro again and Maeda. But their stories end differently, which I think is the whole point here.

Aoi lives. Shutaro lives. According to that one interview I keep referencing, they both find their way back to each other in the end. There’s hope there, for the younger characters.

And yet for Maeda and Misaki, everything is too little, too late. Maeda is too late to see Misaki perform Salome, even though according to Defrott, that was what she hoped for. He was too late to prevent her fatal accident. He’s too late to save her from madness and death. And it’s no surprise that Maeda, in the anime, suffers the exact same fate--he’s turned by Defrott in a mirror of what he did to Misaki, goes crazy, and dies in the same location that Misaki did.

(I would like to point out that in the manga, Aoi also gets put into a life or death situation that Shutaro just barely saves her from, as in the anime. But instead of it occurring in the ruins of Maeda’s military base, Shutaro saves her from falling debris--

in the theater that Misaki died in, in the anime. Just some more neat parallels demonstrating what Aoi situations were given to Misaki.)

But Shutaro is pointedly just in time. He saves Aoi from death (and she’s still wearing!! Misaki’s costume!! It’s painful, because it was the only thing that saved her from Maeda’s rampage!!), he kills Maeda before he himself is killed, and he reunites with Aoi in the end.

Their plotline is about contrasting hope with tragedy and time, being on time versus being too late. And man if it doesn’t fuck me up every time I see it.

#this is SO incoherent #my brain cannot process these two okay it just keeps vibrating in AHHHHH BELOVEDDDSSSS #lksndlksnfslkdfn anyway ty for the ramble opportunity #reyni :0 #mars red #misaki mars red #aoi mars red #maeda mars red #kurusu mars red

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acidmatze · 1 year

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Its funny (not literally but you know what i mean) that "xyz struggles with talking and mostly doesnt talk at all UNLESS its about xyz's special interest then xyz speaks very fluently and well and doesnt shut up" is a very common thing in autistic people. But for me its exactly the other way around. And i havent met another autistic person like that. As of now i feel like im the only ND person who CANT talk about heir special interest.

I just.. cant. I want to. I would LOVE to. Im always like "Oh god please talk to me about Trigun!!!!" yet im dreading that someone might actualy Do because I dont know what to say. Its not that i dont have opinions and thoughts its... i just cannot put them into... Understandable Words. There is just So Much going on whenever i think about my special interests that it becomes too overwhelming for me to translate my thoughts into anything that could be communicated in some understandable way. I wish telepathy was real so i could just beam my thoughts into someone else's head but i dont even think that would work unless they Think Like Me. Also the onslaught of information they get will probably be too overwhelming. So i desperately WANT to talk about my special interests (please talk to me about Trigun but understand that i wont be able to answer in any satisfactory way) but i CANT. I cannot communicate my thoughts in any form that can be understood by humans that are not me. If thoughts are like files on a computer my thoughts dont come in neat categories they come as a zip file you gotta unpack first and then get the entire thing at once. Well.. I dont need to unpack them cuz i know whats inside. But if i wanna communicate them i have to unzip that package and then go through every single file one by one and pick out the relevant parts. Only the relevant parts. What is important and what is not? Who knows, not me, im already despairing. So i usually just give up and dont say anything which is kinda not helping with the whole Conversation thing. Which is also why i dont do meta posts or anything... relevant. I cant give you a single coherent sentence about Trigun how am i supposed to write meta? The best i can do is like... dig out panels and point at them and yell. Maybe when a miracle happens i could get single words out that wont form any sentences whatsoever and you would have to puzzle them together. Have fun.

Fun fact! Sometimes this doesnt just happen with my special interest but with any random thing. Today i was unable to tell my Boss why i have to sit down more often than others. Has nothing to do with my special interests. Still wasnt able to start the damn sentence. Talking to me is probably a chore no one does gladly. Honestly i wish i could just... find someone whos willing to communicate with me even when i just give sentence fragments or just words and they are willing to piece them together. But lmao. As if. Even if someone WOULD say they would be willing they probably would try to talk to me once and if i actually Do Talk Like That they would go "Yeah nah this was a dumb idea lets never talk to this guy again."

#blablabla #actually autistic

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thowawayuntilfurthernotice · 1 year

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So, I finally watched Velma.

Before I go any further I just want to make something clear, no I’m not defending this show against criticism, nor am I trying to convince you that it’s some sort of hidden gem. I’ve watched all the episodes that have been released at the time of writing, and in all honesty, I think Velma is pretty mediocre.

Not good, but nowhere near as bad as people are making it out to be. So, if you just wanted my honest thoughts about Velma, there you go, you can stop reading now, go back to whatever it is you’re currently doing. As for everyone else, get comfy, because this is gonna be a long post.

I wanna get the positives out of the way first, I genuinely like the show’s artstyle, in an era where every single “adult” cartoon has to look like Rick & Morty, this show stands out from the rest by having its own unique artstyle, that being said, Norville does look weird whenever he’s facing forward. But that’s a minor nitpick.

Kinda wish the quality of the animation was a bit better though, but it’s an animated show made specifically for streaming, so the animation quality was always gonna be so-so.

As for the characters, I didn’t find them as unlikable or annoying as other people did - mostly because I never really had that much of a personal attachment to the Scooby gang to begin with - though if I had to pick a favorite I’d have to go with Norville, I find that his optimism and general good nature is a breath of fresh air, as I’m so sick of every modern adult animated series having every character be an unlikable asshole or a complete dumbass.

Nevertheless I do agree that the “Look at how much of a loser Fred is!” jokes got old real quick, and I’m saying this as someone who doesn’t even like Fred. But those jokes weren’t bad enough to make me want to quit watching.

As for the other jokes, they’re super hit and miss, I do feel like if the first two episodes just toned down the raunchy/”meta” jokes then the backlash wouldn’t have been so bad, because there were some jokes that made me chuckle, like Brenda’s funeral, Norville’s hair brained schemes to win Velma over, the school fighting tournament name being too long etc. But sadly, those types of jokes are few and far between.

Oh, and the hallucination sequences are pretty cool.

Now that we got the positives out the way, let’s talk about the negatives. I really don’t understand why this show needs a recap at the start of each episode. Did the showrunners think people were gonna watch the show out of order? Or did they do that because they were planning on airing the show on Adult Swim in the near future? Either way, it’s super annoying.

Also, I really hate how the show just awkwardly cuts to the end credits. I know Harley Quinn also did this, but it’s way more noticeable here. Almost like the end credits are trying to jump scare you to death.

But I think my biggest issue with the series as a whole is its obsession with trying to be as “meta” as possible, it really got on my nerves, to the point where I legit wanted to yell out “I get it! You’re self aware.”

Thing is, I don’t mind meta humor. Archer and American Dad are two great examples of how to properly implement meta humor into a sitcom narrative, but what makes those two shows work is that they’re not trying to impress the audience by showing how smart they are.

Simply having the characters point out tired old cliches and tropes isn’t clever, it’s taking the easy way out. I honestly wouldn’t have minded this as much if Velma was the only character who was making “meta” references, but every single character does this. To the point where I was expecting someone to look directly at the camera and say “Are these self aware meta jokes doing anything for you?”

Look, I get it, the reason why they’re doing this is because of Rick and Morty, a network executive most likely looked at the meta humor from that show and said “Do that for a Scooby Doo spin off aimed at adults.”

If the show would just tone down the “We’re so meta” gimmick and put more effort into fleshing its characters and story out, then I honestly think it could be pretty decent. But as of this writing, it just feels like it’s struggling to find its own identity.

Who knows, maybe the writing will get better down the line, but as of right now it’s a mess.

Alright, time to talk about the “controversy” surrounding this show - because that’s all anyone wants to talk about - so here goes……

I don’t give a shit about any of this culture war nonsense, nor do I give a shit about these Twitter threads over analyzing every single joke, and I certainly don’t give a shit about Mindy Kaling or her political views, so why am I bringing any of this up? Because the discourse is annoying.

It’s okay to just admit that you don’t like the show, or that you think it’s “cringe” or whatever, but all this discourse has become unbearable. You cannot go anywhere online without running into someone complaining about the show. It’s Ghostbusters 2016 all over again, and I’m just so tired.

I’m tired of the internet latching onto a piece of media and creating never ending discourse about said media, I’m tired of seeing people who genuinely liked working on shows/movies get bullied and harassed. And I’m just tired of people being unwilling to say “Wow, this looks like shit” and moving on with their lives.

Yes, no media should be immune to criticism, but going out of your way to ruin someone’s livelihood because they created or worked on something you hated just makes you an asshole who deserves no sympathy.

#Velma #Velma The Series #Scooby Doo #The Discourse #I can already tell I'm gonna get shit for this

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rayeverydangday · 2 years

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Get it with a Kirby back, Guarantee! Chapter 3

Notes: I think Dedede might be my favorite character to write. Not the anime one the LA one

King Dedede of Dreamland, Ruler of CappyTown, was no longer as feared as he was. And he hated it.

With NME gone he couldn’t have any of the fun he used to have. The monster teleporter was useless and put down in the basement. He would often come down here to remember the good times. Scaring the villagers, playing pranks, clobbering that Kirby.

He sighed and patted the old thing as if it were a friend . “You’ve seen days-huh?”

He saw a sort of compartment that looked like it would hold a battery. But the machine was a plug in, how had he not noticed this before? Perhaps it was because Escargoon was the one always working on it.

He opened the compartment and saw a small battery sized box. It was black in the front, orange on the sides, with an eye in the middle of it. The same design was on the back as Dedede looked it over.

“Maybe Escargoon will know what it is.” He said and once he got up to the throne room he began calling for his servant.

“ESCARGOON! Where he at?” He said, tapping his foot. The doors bursted open, but it wasn’t the snail that came in.

“Dedede!” Kirby came running through the room, running towards him.

“Wha? Kirby! Watcha doin’ here?!” Dedede said.

He didn’t expect the alien to reply, but was shocked when they began to ramble.

“I was with Waddle Dee when I got teleported outside! Did you remodel the castle? It looks so different! But I’m not sure I like it. It’s so dark!”

Escargoon soon came running in, stuttering, “Your Majesty! I have no idea what’s going on. Maybe Tiff will know.”

Kirby was still rambling as Escargoon talked. The King looked at the two and slowly backed away towards his throne. “QUIET! He yelled.

The two quieted down.

“You!” The king pointed at Kirby.

“Get out!”

Dedede pulled out his hammer and knocked Kirby out the nearest window. The child went flying, crying out as he did.

Escargoon backed up nervously. The king turned towards him. He pulled something out of his pocket and shoved it into his face. “What’s this?!” He said.

Escargoon looked at the little box. “Why… I don’t know, sire. Where was this from?”

“Da monster teleporter.” Dedede said, taking it back. “I’m gonna be in my room. Don’t let that Kirby come near me!” He yelled. For some reason he didn’t like the way Escargoon held the small box. It was too fragile to be held so recklessly. He had to keep it safe.

Dedede could see his castle on the horizon, the ocean seemed to provide a pretty good view. “Hmm… this place isn’t too bad.” He said. The group was walking along the road towards a small town by the castle.

The other Kirby was skipping along, singing a small tune that consisted mostly of the word “poyo.” Bandanna Dee gazed at the town with curious eyes.

While Meta Knight remained watchful, wings turned back into his cloak which he had wrapped around himself. It was kinda cute in a way… wait. Did he think that? Dedede shook the idea out of his head and looked around.

The residents of the place looked a lot like cappy, with the same eyes and mouth that looked like empty holes.

They all seemed to be staring at him but would wave or say hi to Kirby when they walked by. “Hmph.” He grumbled. Maybe these villagers should learn some manners.

As they walked into the middle of town square, a voice called out, “Kirby!”

They turned to see a girl with a long braid of lemon colored hair in a pink shirt. A young boy followed her, his hair orange with swamp green tips and a pair of overalls. Two sphere shaped creatures, one pink with a bow and the other blue, floated behind them.

Kirby jumped towards the kids, hugging the girl, laughing.

“Kirby! Where have you been? We’ve been searching all over for you.” The girl’s voice held worry but still contained a sweet tone. She turned to Dedede and her face immediately turned sour.

“Did rotten Dedede have something to do with it?” She said, her voice losing all its sweetness. The kids giggled.

Dedede’s jaw dropped at the question. “Wha-? I DIDN'T HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH LOSING YOUR KIRBY!” He yelled.

“Our Kirby?” The girl asked.

“Great King! You mustn't lose your temper.” Bandanna Dee piped up.

“YOU TALKED!” The boy yelled.

Bandanna Dee flinched, “Uh… yes…”

“Of course he talks! Now where’s our Kirby so we can get out of this crummy dimension!” Dedede said, looking around as if he would suddenly appear.

“What… “ The girl turned to Meta Knight and said, “What’s happening?”

He stepped forward. “We come from an alternate universe and our Kirby has ended up in yours. So we are not the same people you know from here.”

“Yeah. I’m not THAT rotten!” Dedede said.

The girl blinked. “Well… I’m Tiff. “ she said cautiously.

“I’m her brother, Tuff.” The boy said.

“And we’re Fololo.” “And Falala,” The pair said respectively.

Dedede nodded, “Now do you have any idea where our Kirby is?”

previous / next

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sostanotes · 3 years

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A Timeline of Lumity

So I’ve been thinking about Lumity; honestly, I’ve been pondering this meta since “Escaping Expulsion”. I’ve seen some people that said that Luz’ blush was the moment she started crushing on Amity. I’m with all the people yelling at them that ‘no, it’s not’. But when did it start?

I’m going to try and break down both of their feelings and how they’ve grown and developed. I’m going to use a plant metaphor to talk about the stages (Willow would be proud of me); details of the metaphor and the analysis are under the cut.

The metaphor is nothing new, really; people have been using plant and seed metaphors for feeling (especially romantic ones) for a long time. Still, I’m going to define my terminology just to make things clear:

Tilled: At this stage, we don’t have a seed yet. This is the foundation for the seed, the moment when friendship begins/is possible; or the moment that one sees the hidden qualities of the their future crush that will become the foundation for that crush.

Planted: At this stage, we still have a seed. This isn’t a crush yet, but that nebulous stage between friendly feelings and something else. I don’t know if other people feel attraction this way, but *I* certainly did. This may be the same as what some people call ‘puppy love’.

Sprouted: At this stage, it’s a real crush; but it’s small, vulnerable, and easy to overlook. The person isn’t blushing yet, in fact, they don’t even realize that their feelings have changed yet.

Budding: At this stage, we start to get blushing. This is the point the person with a crush REALIZES they have a crush.

Blossoming: At this stage, it’s something more. Now, we can sit here and argue all day about ‘can a 14-year-old feel ‘true love’ (whatever THAT means)’. Regardless, what I mean by this is that this is the point the person moves *past* blushing and being awkward, and starts taking real steps towards establishing something. It’s also a process: plants produce a lot of buds, and they don’t all open quickly or at the same time; but we can certainly identify certain buds-to-blossoms moments in these two.

So I’m going to take this timeline for them both; I’ll list episodes below that I think show development from one stage to another (bolding my keywords), and color key names just to make it clear who we’re talking about.

1.5 “Covention”: This is the moment that things get tilled for Luz. She was making an attempt to patch things up with Amity after the event in “I Was a Teenage Abomination”. I wouldn’t even say she was trying to befriend Amity yet, just smoothing out the misunderstanding, trying to get back to 0. But at the end, she see’s Amity’s facade crack, realizes there’s someone quite different under the face she puts on for the world.

1.6 “Hoot’s Moving Hassle”: No real development here, just furthering tilling for Luz. She learns the fact that Amity and Willow used to be friends. Combined with her knowledge that the Amity the world sees is a mask, Luz probably starts to think that Willow’s childhood friend is still in there; given how cool Gus is, and that Willow is willing to be friends with her, Luz must feel that befriending the ‘real’ Amity is possible, and worthwhile.

1.7 “Lost in Language”: Hoo-boy. The—first—big one. This could easily be the place where the seed of Luz’ crush gets planted. At a minimum, her urge to develop this friendship kicks into high gear; she see’s more of Amity’s vulnerable side and learns that Amity’s just as much of an Azura nerd as she is. As for Amity, this is the tilling stage for her; I can even pinpoint the to major points: 1) Luz makes her laugh as they run from Otabin, and 2) Luz offers Azura 5. At this point, they’re friends, its new and tenuous for both of them, but I’d argue they are definitely friends by the end of the episode (regardless of what Amity says out loud).

1.12 “Adventures in the Elements”: After the previous mini-arc of development, we the audience haven’t seen Amity for a while; Luz has been in contact with her at least once, since they arranged a meet-up for Amity to return Luz’ Azura book. Now, if the seed of Luz’ crush wasn’t planted in “Lost in Language” it definitely is here; specifically, I’d say when Amity put up the barrier; yes, Luz was down in the dumps at that moment for all sorts of reasons, but subconsciously, she likely picked up on the care in Amity’s warning of “You’ll only get hurt”. That’s not what most people say in this sort of situation, and that may have trickled back into Luz brain. And I’d say Luz heroism after meeting up with Amity in the cave, and or the cuteness of her proposed Azura Book Club, is what likely planted the seed of Amity’s crush. Yes, she blushes near the end, but that’s as much embarrassment at Ed and Em’s teasing as anything else.

1.13 “The First Day”: Maybe Amity’s crush as sprouted, maybe not, but it’s explicit proof that there is one.

1.15 “Understanding Willow”: Our second big episode. This is our first Amity blush; even though I put blushing with budding, I’d argue that Amity is still in the sprouting stage at this point. Amity blushes from embarrassment and is *not* used to physical affection. So if we don’t claim “The First Day” as the sprouting, then it happens here; otherwise, you could argue this is the first sign of budding. Possibly more important (as much as I love watching Amity blush), I think *THIS* is the moment that Luz’ crush sprouts. It’s somewhere inside Willow’s mind, possibly in the second-round cleanup we don’t get to see, and I’ll talk about why in later episodes.

1.16 “Enchanting Grom Fright”: And here comes big one #3 immediately. Amity’s crush is definitely budding at this point; she’s trying to make her moves, but is mostly too embarrassed to do it, only overcoming it in the face of Luz’ encouragement, and even then ducking out of the full reveal. And Luz definitely shows signs that her crush has sprouted. She’s always thrown herself completely into helping her friends, but her energy here just seems, higher. Maybe it’s just me, but the tone of her enthusiasm seems to have changed. But if you don’t buy that, maybe the dance is the moment that her crush sprouts.

1.17 “Wing It Like Witches”: And big episode #4 completes a trifecta of episodes. We get blushing disaster Amity showing off her crush in full bud; she’s like some of our rose bushes at this point: full to bursting with buds, but no sign of the color in the blossom yet. And then Luz; you can argue the previous episode, but there’s no denying that she lights up when Amity comes into view—there’s a freaking musical cue—so her crush is officially sprouted.

2.2 “Escaping Expulsion”: And season 2 continues to come out swinging. Amity shows the first signs of blossoming here, like a rosebud that’s still closed, but you can see the color it will be starting to peak out. She’s making moves: some, like the fairy pie, she couches in other contexts, and others, like her Big Damn Hero moment swinging in to protect Luz being field by adrenaline; either way, she knows how she feels, she just can’t usually bring herself to act on it. And we get Luz’ first blush; this is the moment Luz *realizes* she’s smitten, this is the moment the crush begins to bud.

2.5 “Through the Looking Glass Ruins”: And now Luz is a blushy mess around Amity. And everyone but Amity seems to have realized how Luz feels; even Gus, who seemed mostly oblivious to Amity’s feelings last season. Luz is full in the budding stage at the beginning of this episode; she KNOWS she has a crush on Amity, but her own self-worth too low for her to admit it. And things start to go so wrong. But then, the end. Amity looses herself in the moment again and we get that cheek kiss. This is our first full blossom from Amity; but consider Luz’ reaction. Luz doesn’t blush, like Amity does when she realizes what she’s done; Luz is just… stunned. And her eyes grow wide and sparkle, as we’ve seen them do while blushing. I’m fairly sure that was Luz realizing that Amity like her back, and that pushed her own feelings into their own blossoming.

So that’s what we’ve seen so far, but I’ve got some further speculation. The next move is Luz’; whether that’s a clear confession, or at LEAST a reciprocal cheek-kiss—likely at the end of “Eclipse Lake”. I fully believe that they are going to be *TOGETHER* before the end of the season; best possible world they start dating at the end of “Eclipse Lake”. I don’t want to get my hopes that high, though.

So that’s my thoughts. I’ve run 4 pages of text so I’m stopping here. If you have thoughts, feel free to add them on or send them to me. I welcome the discussion.

#the owl house #toh s2 #toh meta #toh speculation #toh analysis #lumity #toh luz noceda #toh luz #luz noceda #toh amity blight #toh amity #amity blight #my thoughts

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deonideatta · 3 years

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Alright it's Vincenzo and fire meta time! I dont know if this is super obvious and I'm just repeating what everyone's already picked up on, but Solar's version of Adrenaline gave me the push I needed to write down my thoughts (Italian version >>> tho imo) so here goes. I apologize in advance for the length sflds this is my thoughts straight to the page so it went on for a while :')

We associate Vincenzo with fire almost from the first episode. From the get go, the first major thing we see Vincenzo do is burn down a vineyard, pretty nonchalantly. Then we establish his habit of fiddling with lighters, and to round it off he blows up Paolo's car. The fire imagery is there from the beginning. When he loses his temper he's fiery, he fights fire with fire, his birthday is on bonfire night, it's a pretty clear link. Yet, interestingly enough, as we get to know more about his character, it appears like he is mostly a very level-headed person when it comes to high stakes conflict, as seen in the court scenes and in scenes like the ones where he threatens Choi Myung Hee. In fact, his cool-headedness is one of the things Cha Young lists as one of his charms in ep8. He doesn't come off as hot-blooded as quickly as a character like Father Kim in The Fiery Priest, for example.

Besides the times when he's just annoyed angry over things like being robbed or the drama with Geumga plaza, we see him get seriously angry only over the emotions from seeing his mom (he yells at her, he lights a cigarette) over Hong Yu Chan's insistence on pursuing Babel despite the danger (he raises his voice on multiple occasions), and over the death of HYC (he throws a wine glass and then he has syringes stuck in JHS's pillow and he organizes the warehouse arson). Note how most of these things are accompanied by some use of a lighter (more on that later). Yet, times when he yells and cusses in Italian aside, in doing most of these things he's not very visibly aggressive? If you get what I mean. He's still almost cold/mechanical in the way he goes about it. Like the result of his anger is an inevitability; if you light a lighter you start a fire. This is seen when he gets angry over the vineyard owner's attitude (he doesn't lose his cool, he just burns down the vineyard) and Paolo's attempted assassination of him (he shoots the assassins calmly, he blows up Paolo's car and threatens him, he leaves italy). Even the actual act of the Babel arson isn't very fiery on Vincenzo's part.

The thing about Vincenzo though is that, much like the lighters which he constantly opens and closes without lighting, most of the time he's not always very openly fiery. As mentioned above the only times we see Vincenzo actually light a lighter are when he's truly angry. He opens and closes them to calm down, but occasionally instead of calming down he lights the lighter, and he burns down a vineyard or lights a cigarette. He says in ep 2 that being weak and feeling helpless make him angry, and perhaps that's why opening and closing a lighter helps him calm down, because it reminds him that he can do something, he can light the lighter if he chooses to.

A lot of his anger/bitterness goes back to him being abandoned by his mother, and we see that it's still a big deal for him because some of only times we see him lose a grip on his anger and have outbursts of emotion are in scenes related to his mom (when he comes to tell her no one will come visit her now, when she doesn't want to get treatment, early on when he's in the courtroom for her case). We see that momentary crack in his level-headed personality when it comes to his mom, and the cracks get larger the worse her condition gets. (I wonder how it will go if she dies? It seems like she might. Perhaps that'll push him over the edge). Being someone who doesn't like feeling helpless, the scenes where he's angry about his mom become all the more impactful because there's nothing he can do, he can light the lighter but all he can do with that light is light a cigarette. Notably we also see him get emotionally angry/agitated worrying over Hong Yu Chan's perseverance in fighting Babel, perhaps since he also comes to see HYC as a mentor/father figure. He was helpless again, he couldn't do anything to help his mother's sentence and he couldn't do anything to stop HYC and his eventual death. In all this we see that there is a marked contrast between fiery emotionally engaged angry Vincenzo and cool-headed business minded angry Vincenzo. The more dangerous of the two is arguably cool-headed angry Vincenzo, because this is the mode he enters after the initial burst of emotional anger, after which he hatches and executes another high stakes plan.

Which brings me back to Adrenaline. The lyric about wanting to leave so as not to cause hurt is there in both versions, but in english it's "Fire, rising up (to) higher, I'm burning up it's dire, I don't wanna hurt you so leave" (According to this translation of the Italian version the equivalent part in that one is "The fire (is) rising upwards, I'm burning slowly, Please leave me, I don't want to hurt you", more or less the same thing). At this point we're aware that Vincenzo has a lot of unresolved internal anger, but we aren't clear on the full extent of it yet. He effectively hides it behind smooth words and well thought out plans, but that doesn't change the fact that he's "burning up" with all that pent up anger (over his mother mostly, and now also over Babel to an extent), which is also "rising up" as he's reminded of his past and faces new challenges. It's only a matter of time until he hits burnout, or an explosion of some kind. If you think of it like a water balloon (idk i'm bad at coming up with metaphors), over time more and more things (abandonement issues, having to kill so many people, having to leave italy, frustrations surrounding the tenants, BabelTM, the death of Hong Yu Chan, meeting his mother again, hearing the truth about his mother's case first hand, his mother potentially dying, and so on) fill it up until bANG, it's too much and it bursts. Pent up anger is a ticking time bomb, and it's anyone's guess when he'll stop clicking the lighter open and shut and set the world on fire again. We'll either have Vincenzo overcome and learn to let go of his anger, or we'll get to see him truly snap and cause some real damage to his status as a non-fugitive and/or his relationships. Maybe some combination of both.

Interestingly though, we haven't seen him get directly really angry at Cha Young before, though they were very passive agressive in the earlier eps. This shows a difference in the way he sees her now and the way he saw Hong Yu Chan, she's willing to get her hands dirty and so even though they're still fighting the same Babel he's not as worried about her safety because she's a lot like him. And yet, assuming that Adrenaline is from Vincenzo's POV and the person he doesn't want to hurt is Cha Young, we can infer that Vincenzo knows full well the potential danger of his pent up anger, and that he cares enough about Cha Young to want to still keep a certain distance from her so as not to hurt her in the event that said anger leads to bigger trouble/more illegal high stakes plans/things she wouldn't approve of i.e hurting or killing people. We see that he is drawn to her (very obviously), and that he likes her (VERY OBVIOUSLY), but he doesn't want to burn her, hence scenes like the "villains don't deserve to love/love requires qualifications" scene. Fire can warm people, it can be a force for 'good' (for example, the revenge on Babel for its victims and Cha Young via the arson), but it can also destroy people. It looks like it is definitely eating away at Vincenzo, and he doesn't want the fire consuming him to burn those close to him.

He's done things that may or may not haunt him, and he may not deem himself worthy of love because of those things, but deep down I do think he wants to be loved, to have a home, to let go of his anger and be allowed to live without it. His initial plan was to get filthy rich and then run away, but like the monk said, unless he faces his anger, it'll follow him wherever he goes. Forests burn down and regrow naturally, but unnatural forest fires are hella destructive, it's all about how he handles his anger. Harness it and overcome it, or let it control him and eventually destroy him. Rn it looks like it torments him but he uses it to his advantage, as a driving force, but how sustainable is that? Each of the arsons are preceded by gasoline, what will serve as Vincenzo's gasoline and what will be the spark that sets him alight? Will Cha Young be the bucket of water that settles Vincenzo's flames, or will she be the bucket of gasoline that burns him to the ground? We'll just have to wait and see.

Pls interact it took me like a week to write all this :')

#if i've missed anything lmk #my schoolwork watching me neglect it to write this like 🧍‍♂️#doesn this count as eng lit work #yes it does #vincenzo #tvn kdrama #tvn vincenzo #kdrama meta #vincenzo meta #vincenzo kdrama #vincenzo cassano #hong cha young #kdrama

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makeste · 3 years

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I read the meta you reposted about anyone being able to become a hero, and I would just like to give some thoughts. I agree it is wrong to think in terms of good vs bad victims and measure everyone as the same. Just because Shoto never killed anyone in response to his abuse and Toya did doesn't mean that Toya was always an evil person looking for an excuse to break bad. Different people break from different things.

these are all good, well-reasoned points, anon, but I disagree with a few of them. let me try to explain.

so the thing about this whole atonement process is that it’s hugely complex, and there isn’t really any kind of roadmap for Endeavor to follow when it comes to trying to make things right. I actually appreciate that his arc is written in such a way that his epiphany doesn’t just happen all at once, and you can see how his approach gradually turns from one that’s still mostly selfish and centered on him, to one that’s actually focused on his kids and what they need. you can see the stages he progresses through as the series goes on.

1. I’d argue that it all starts when he first gets yelled at by Deku (“Todoroki isn’t you!”). he realizes that maybe this kid has got a point, and that treating his son as an extension of him rather than as his own person might just be sorta shitty. so he files that away, but we don’t really see much of a change in him yet.

2. then a few months later he gets thrust into the #1 hero role, which has the interesting psychological effect of forcing him to see past himself and his ego for perhaps the first time in his life. he suddenly finds himself in this position as the new Symbol, and starts to feel the responsibility of that, and it basically triggers the entire rest of his redemption arc. because once he starts looking outside himself, he starts to realize the impact his actions have on other people, including his family. for the first time, he starts looking at the situation with fresh eyes, and realizes how much he’s hurt them.

3. quick little detour here, I feel like it’s important to note that Endeavor -- like many abusers -- actually does love his family and never intentionally set out to hurt them. but the problem is that he is so self-centered for most of his life that he never stops to consider that his family and his kids don’t simply exist to serve his own purposes. he abuses Shouto during his training but I’ll bet you he himself never thought of it as actual abuse, just him being hard on him in order to toughen him up. he thinks he’s doing what’s best for Shouto by making him strong in the hopes that he’ll one day surpass All Might, because that’s always been his goal, and so he just unilaterally decides that should be Shouto’s goal too. he wants the best for him, but it never enters his mind to consider that his son is his own person who, gasp, might not actually want the same things that Endeavor wants. btw I should clarify that absolutely none of this excuses anything he does, holy shit. but I feel like it’s important to mention, because many people complain that the change in Endeavor happens too abruptly and is too unrealistic, but I don’t think that’s true at all. it’s just that people don’t like to acknowledge that abusers are still human (meaning that anyone can become one if they’re not careful to consider how they treat others). Endeavor’s actions are monstrous, but they stem from realistic places, and I think that it’s a very well-thought-out character arc.

4. and so basically, once that change finally starts happening, it’s not that he suddenly starts loving his kids all of a sudden out of nowhere. it’s that he finally starts loving them for their own sake, rather than his. for the first time, he starts loving them selflessly rather than selfishly. and it’s not a change that just happens overnight, because he is so used to everything revolving around him that even after he starts realizing what he’s doing wrong, it still takes him a while to break free from those patterns.

5. and so for example, he suddenly becomes wildly supportive of Shouto and his training and attempts to go full-blown helicopter parent. because clearly that’s what Shouto needs, right?? all those years he was trying to make him into his own personal mini-me rather than loving his son for who he was and supporting him as his own person. and so we see him hounding Shouto in texts to let him teach him his Ultimate Technique (but not because he wants him to surpass All Might, but because he just wants him to be the best hero he can be! it’s different now!), and attending his training sessions to cheer him on from the stands like an obnoxious soccer mom. and afterwards he tells him he’s proud of him, and that he wants to become someone Shouto can be proud of.

6. so you can see there’s some progress at this point, but at the same time he’s still making a lot of the same mistakes. his intentions by this point have genuinely changed! but he’s still looking at the situation from his own point of view, and not taking into consideration how his son feels about the forced attempts at reconciliation. he’s thinking ‘I was a shit father, I need to make it up to him by being supportive.’ but he doesn’t stop to consider that Shouto might not WANT his support by this stage in the game; that he might, in fact, not want anything to do with him at all.

7. and this doesn’t change until after his battle at Fukuoka, when he has dinner with his family and Natsuo blows up at him. he basically lays it all out on the table, but this is the most important part:

I am willing to bet that he did not, in fact, get it until pretty much that moment, actually. because up until this point, he’s been doing exactly as Natsuo said -- trying to make nice, trying to show that he’s changed, and to be a good father now. but he doesn’t stop to consider (a) just how much hurt he really has caused them, and (b) just how impossible it is to simply erase all of that. the pain Natsuo’s expressing here isn’t something people can simply get over. and I don’t think Enji realizes until this moment that he was still going about this in the wrong way.

8. and that, lastly, is what finally leads to this:

he finally realizes that it’s not about him. and apologizes, but makes it clear that Natsuo does not have to forgive him, and that he doesn’t want to burden him by making him feel otherwise. he acknowledges Natsuo’s feelings, acknowledges the pain he’s caused, and realizes that what he and the others need is space. and this is when he makes the decision to build the new home for them and Rei, so that they can finally start to move on -- without him, if that’s what it takes.

so this is basically the progression of Endeavor’s redemption arc up to this point. and I’m sorry it took so long to recap, I didn’t mean for it to lol, but there were a lot of parts I didn’t want to just gloss over. so now, here are a few last points I want to make about his arc.

1. first off, it’s important to consider the timeline here. when making your point earlier, you talked about Endeavor building the new home for his kids, but how “on the other hand” he kept trying to force his relationship with Shouto. however the order of these things is switched around. because Endeavor building the house is something that happens at the end of his arc. and in fact we have not seen him try to force anything with Shouto since then. this is important to acknowledge because it shows that he is learning and that it’s not just an insincere case of one step forward, two steps back. the progress he’s making here is genuine; he really is trying not to be selfish anymore.

2. I know I said “the end” of his arc just now, but in fact we have no reason to believe that this is the end of it. every time I see an argument about “well why hasn’t he done this yet, or why hasn’t he said this”, I wonder why people assume that just because he hasn’t done it yet, it means we’re never going to see it. for instance, he still hasn’t apologized to Shouto specifically for the way he abused him all those years. but just because we haven’t seen it yet doesn’t mean that it won’t happen.

3. fandom has this tendency, when it comes to characters they don’t like and don’t want to see redeemed, to continuously move the goalposts so that no matter what that character does and how much they change, they can continue to justify why it’s not enough. I’m going to take a quick break from Endeavor and use Bakugou as the example here instead, since I think it’s easier to summarize.

“Bakugou is such an asshole, all he cares about is himself, he’s definitely going to become a villain.”

[Bakugou refuses to join the villains] “well whatever, he’s still a jerk, just look at how he can’t even work together with others and refuses to help anyone.”

[Bakugou learns to Win and Save, and unlocks the Power of Teamwork] “well whatever, he still doesn’t care about anyone else. look at how he’s still an asshole to Deku even now.”

[Bakugou starts helping Deku train and learn how to control OFA] “whatever, that’s literally the bare minimum, there’s still no proof that he even cares about him.”

[Bakugou literally takes a life-threatening blow to save Deku] “whatever, it’s like he said, his body moved on its own so there’s still no proof he really cares.”

[Bakugou wakes up from a two-day coma, immediately asks about Deku’s health, and rushes to his bedside] “whatever, I don’t know why everyone is making such a fuss over it, he hasn’t even apologized to him yet.”

and so on and so forth. and I guarantee that once he finally does apologize, it will then shift to “well why couldn’t he just have done that in the first place.” but you get my point.

basically, there are certain characters whose redemption arcs fandom will actively continue to deny no matter what. Bakugou is one of those characters, and so is Endeavor. and I’m not saying that in order to call those people out, because everyone has their own boundaries of forgiveness, and I don’t have the right to dictate anyone else’s, just like they don’t have the right to dictate mine. everyone has their own line, and where it’s drawn is different for each person. like for me, the one particular character who can fuck off for all eternity as far as I’m concerned is Overhaul (although I admit I am still curious to see what Horikoshi has planned for him post-prison break in spite of all that). and there are a lot of other people for whom Endeavor crosses their own personal line. and you know what, that’s fine.

but here’s the thing -- if you actually want to debate his redemption arc with people, you should be willing to do so in good faith. meaning that if you really do think Endeavor is unforgiveable (and I’m speaking now in general terms, not addressing you specifically anon), just go ahead and say so! but don’t come up with an arbitrary list of criteria that he needs to meet in order to qualify for redemption, only to keep on adding more and more items to the list. and most importantly, don’t assume that your criteria are the only valid criteria and that you can speak for everyone else. and especially don’t act like you have a right to go around slapping people with labels like “abuse apologist” just because they don’t share the same opinions as you about a fictional character.

anyway! so as usual, a post that I originally meant to be only a few paragraphs long turned out to be a whole damn essay, I apologize. but anyways anon, basically I share the same opinion as you as far as the mindset that Endeavor needs to have for his atonement (i.e. that it’s not about him). however, I think he’s made more progress than this ask gives him credit for, and I don’t think any of it has been fake. that being said, it’s still a process, and his biggest tests are yet to come. whatever ends up happening, I hope the outcome ends up being one that the rest of his family can find peace with.

#endeavor #bakugou katsuki #'makeste why is the bakugou tag there this is supposed to be a meta about endeavor' yes; well; uh; you see; er...#anyways #bnha meta #endeavor meta #bnha #boku no hero academia #bnha spoilers #mha spoilers #bnha manga spoilers #makeste reads bnha #asks #anon asks

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zeta-in-de-walls · 4 years

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Okay, in the wake of the L’Manburg war, allow me to get meta for a bit.

Now obviously the war, and the SMP server in general, are just for content. The stakes are all fictional - nebulous things like freedom on a minecraft server, sentimental value placed on music discs and all that nonsense.

Bearing that in mind, I want to discuss how it played out.

Who were the best players? It’s clear who were the most powerful and dangerous as enemies - Dream, George, Sapnap and Punz. (I’m leaving aside Eret for the moment btw) They all had full netherite armour, planted TNT traps and planned betrayals and ambushes to win the war. They had the upperhand throughout. Meanwhile the other side felt weak and ill-prepared and did very little damage to any of their opponents.

But you know, being more powerful doesn’t actually make for much content on its own. What makes good content? A good narrative filled with drama, tension and excitement. In those terms, we’re looking at Tommy and Wilbur carrying the server with this war.

The second they said independence and made some grand speeches, there were stakes. Instead of the server being a somewhat peaceful building simulator, it was in a state of conflict. Alliances were created, flags were made, Hamilton and Revolutionary war references were heard, matching skins and all that were being created. Putting great significance into stuff like a patch of tilled soil, suggesting carrying sticks instead of weapons and wearing no armour but fighting with words - that’s the sort of stuff that made this whole scenario work. Without it, this dispute wouldn’t have been able to call itself a war. They even make ridiculous stuff sound convincing - just the idea of calling L’Manberg its own separate server that happens to be inside another server with the running costs still being paid by Dream. It’s crazy but it works.

And my goodness, did they have their work cut out for them.

You see, I feel like Dream and co. weren’t really playing along. They heard ‘war!’ and thought - let’s win. Let’s absolutely crush the enemy! No mercy.

Now playing the villain can be cool, sure. And it kinda worked here. But only just. Some of their actions definitely irked me.

See, there are kind of unspoken agreements in stuff like letting people prepare, not attacking too early, that sort of thing. You tell everyone that the war’s gonna take place at 7pm and sure enough it does. And there’s Dream’s server rules: No stealing and no griefing. These rules do get bent in the middle of an ongoing battle - eg battles often involve a lot of placing and breaking blocks and when you’re low on stuff, trying to run to a nearby chest to grab some last minute supplies is going to happen (and later after the battle’s done you’ll probably get yelled at a little before making up) - but generally they are upheld. Especially when others are offstream and you aren’t in the middle of something.

‘Ah but it was war - rules can be broken!’ one might argue. Yeah, no, this is entertainment. You don’t start early because you’re going to ruin the stream and make the content worse - and the whole point of the war is to make good content. Like, when WIlbur’s stream died - they asked for a pause so WIlbur could sort out technical difficulties before continuing.

Yeah so Dream and Sapnap basically broke all the rules in order to win. Fundy and Tommy put up insulting signs in different languages. Funny content. Dream and Sapnap burned Tubbo’s house to the ground. Err... okay that’s a bit excessive but we can make it work. No mercy, ha.

So Tommy asked Tubbo to prep for the war. Tubbo agreed and got to work to try and balance the already uneven odds. At this point, the war’s in a day and all of Dream’s side has full netherite and none of L’Manburg do save Eret. Time is short but that just makes it all the more exciting.

So Tubbo uses villagers and trading, stealing a frugal amount to get himself started before really getting into it and grinding for diamond armour and makes nine stacks of emeralds - enough to place some high level enchants and even the odds a little and make the fight interesting.

While Tubbo’s offline, Sapnap comes in and steals them, getting books to enchant his own set of netherite armour using Tubbo’s set up. Well then. There goes any hope of a fair fight. And they are trying, you know. They realise the armour discrepancy so they’ve been trying to get potions but even that’s a struggle - when Dream finished his apology stream he logged on to the SMP without warning and managed to kill Tubbo before he could get away while his inventory had been full of potions. (Tommy and Tubbo had been visiting Dream’s base to put a sign in it - an offer of Mellohi for peace. Nothing comes of this sign or any of the other Tommy put in other people’s houses - more potential good content there like demanding Sapnap stay neutral in return for a supply blaze powder (a ref to the drug war that preceded this conflict)). It’s not that Dream killing Tubbo is the issue - it’s more how he logged on basically without warning so Tubbo had little chance to get away as he was mostly unarmoured and ungeared.

Still, the next day Tubbo is trying to grind back up, to even up things a little. He’s only managed to get 2 end crystals and he has a few sets of plain diamond armour and a few books. So he grinds like crazy in the limited time, trading all his iron, chopping trees, carrots, bamboo, sugar, everything he has into emeralds. But he needs levels. He tries to go to the spawner which the other side has been freely using to grind up exp and they kill him when he goes near. One time, Dream kills him while he has several books on him so he has to trade back emeralds to get them again. And now he doesn’t have a good way to get experience so he can’t even the odds. Punz and Sapnap even combatlog inside the spawner so if he goes near they’d come online and kill him. And yeah, they’re stream sniping. They’ve all streamed very little, hiding all their preparations while taking advantage of the fact that the other side have all been streaming everything they’ve been doing.

‘Imagine streamsniping.’ Tommy and co. said that at one point during today’s conflict. It’s cheap - it’s not fun, it’s taking advantage - one that’s not even necessary as you’re already all OP. Dream’s side aren’t the underdog, they don’t need every single advantage to win this. Instead it’s more like rubbing salt into the wound.

And yeah, despite all the griefing that Dream side have done, not once does anyone grief anything of theirs - like the chat was totally asking for them to burn down Punz’s house. No, they just place signs and talk.

Okay, so Tommy announced the war would be at 7pm. He logs on at 6.45 to say hello and hype all his viewers up, get his music playing and give a rundown of the situation and what’s occurred since he’s last streamed. No sooner has he logged on then Tubbo gets ambushed early! They attacked prematurely!

...

It’s like there was one rule - war begins at 7pm. And instead Dream, George and Sapnap all attacked Tubbo at his base at 6.45. Tommy is ages away and can’t do anything and Fundy’s in trouble too and Tubbo just barely manages to save the gear he has managed to prep. They’re even more on the backfoot. All their strats are known anyway as they’ve been watching streams so they know all about the potions and endcrystals while Tommy’s side are in the dark about Dream’s side’s preparations. For instance, offstream they filled Tommy’s base and L’Manburg with Tnt which they set off to devastating effect.

The ‘war’ is as one-sided as you’d expect. Tommy and co. are trying to attack even though they lack arrows and food and are hopelessly outmatched but they put up a pretence of trying anyway. At no point is a single one of Dream’s side even moderately threatened (except perhaps when they ambushed Tubbo early as he tried using harming potions) and everyone knows it.

Still, Tommy and Wilbur push on - they talk, they rally etc. Finally, Eret betrays them and they’re all killed in an ambush. And they’re shocked by this twist, they react, they call Eret their downfall. (Dream’s side didn’t need to resort to such tactics to win given their obvious advantage.) and Eret being a traitor is fantastic for content anyway so it is a great part of the narrative that they all react to perfectly. Eret seems to have a good instinct for making good content as well as this sort of twist is a good addition. It works because its drama - they trusted him and they never expected him to betray them to the other side after all they’d built together.

In the end, Tommy finishes it on a high with a dramatic bow duel followed by offering the discs in exchange for freedom. And fittingly, despite have being entirely outplayed in terms of power and tactics, they win the thing they cared about - which was the independence that they started the war for. The content - not anything material. Dream’s side was far stronger and better prepared and they weren’t given so much as a chance to catch up for a pvp conflict. But L’Manberg - they got that.

Okay, so this has been long and I’ll probably rewrite something similar soon - but I wanted to highlight how in meta terms, the war was being played unfairly and its obvious that Dream’s side had different priorities - win under any means necessary rather than continue to make great content for the SMP. They’re treating it like a manhunt or something when its absolutely not and shouldn’t be. They’re lucky that Wilbur and Tommy were so good at making it work as they do all the heavy-lifting for the SMP which ensures its got a healthy lifespan.

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onaperduamedee · 3 years

Photo

“Have you ever heard the one about the unstoppable force that met an immovable object?

You are the object.”

Meta: to the death

Two silhouettes against a brightly lit backdrop, facing each other, weapon in hand. The image is familiar, cinematic, although mostly a thing of the past in western culture. Duels were a way to resolve a conflict between two individuals, often military officers, through a codified and supervised fight. The goal of this trial by combat was not necessarily to kill, but to restore one’s honour.

A familiar sight, even in Star Trek.

The image takes it time to affirm itself in Terra Firma part i, a remanent reading, superimposed to anger, grief, desperation – at first, a confrontation like any Michael and the Emperor has had in the past and then…

A duel to the death.

When Michael finds Philippa at the gym and offers help with her deteriorating condition, Philippa refuses and attacks, first with her bare hands, a sign of impulse or how personal an affront Michael’s open hand is.

But then, she picks an axe, an execution weapon, and throws it at Michael. Michael dodges, puzzled, and Philippa yells at her:

“Fight me!”

Philippa issues an order that in itself is a show of weakness: she needs to clarify that she is looking for a fight, a duel.

“This is the coward’s way out.”

The show of incomprehension is a first way for Michael to reject the game Philippa is playing: an old-fashioned, inefficient duel to the death. Michael fails to see the logic in Philippa’s actions as this is the easy way. Philippa doesn’t want a duel - she wants an execution as previously stated: “If I were you I’d find a phaser and put me down like a dog.”

But a duel follows a code of honor and set rules the different parties have discussed and approved. If Philippa’s goal is to ensure her honor, she is already disregarding what would allow her to gain satisfaction.

Their understandings of the situation are unaligned at this point: Philippa wants to provoke her into killing her and Michael is trying to understand and gather clues as to how Philippa needs to be approached. Hence, her words of reassurance and defiance after the initial judgment:

“You know I would never hurt you.”

It’s a second way to reject the game Philippa is playing: in this universe the rules are different. Michael is different and the situation doesn’t need to be where it is now, with blades drawn and ultimatums. This is Michael the negotiator we saw in many episodes this season, as much as the deeply wounded fallen officer who wanted to atone for her captain’s death in the first season. She needs Philippa to trust her, however dangerous the move is right now.

Philippa stalks closer and hits Michael in the face with a slap, not a punch. The assault is both a provocation and a punishment, a way to put Michael in her place in relation to Philippa. It was the essence of a duel in its legal reality – to face a judgement or answer a slight. Philippa provokes Michael.

Michael bears the slap, head following the movement but not budging. Her body is turned toward Philippa, her arms down, her face looking the other away. If Philippa were to attack again, Michael’s neck, her chest would be exposed. This is Michael choosing to show trust despite her fear, for herself, for Philippa. (“A Terran’s basic instinct is to find a way to die in battle.”//”You want to set that loose on your ship?”)

But Philippa is still hell-bent on defining the situation: this is a duel, whether Michael wants it or not.

“Then you will die.”

Philippa grabs a sword and swings at Michael’s face, stopping short of slicing her neck. Michael holds her gaze. Michael hasn’t answered Philippa’s call to fight and Philippa is still breaking the rules of the duel she insists on getting.

“Killing me would have been the greatest honor of my Burnham’s life. It would have been my greatest honour to have been killed by her.”

Philippa lays down her request again, but her angle of attack is different. A duel has emotional weight in these circumstances: you killing me is a privilege and honor. More than that, from her point of view, it is love: “Lorca loves me for me and he honors me for me,” her Michael would say. Michael would not be simply agreeing to kill her but to honor and love her.

But by explaining as Philippa is doing she has agreed to Michael’s weapon of choice: her words. She’ll take a duel where they don’t trade blows but verbal attacks. The preferred outcome for Georgiou has shifted from dying to convincing Michael of her point of view.

The immovable object has budged.

Which is why when Michael answers, collected, “I’m sorry to disappoint,” she is not sorry in the slightest. Michael has managed to change the setting for this duel: they are now in this universe where people talk instead of killing each other.

And it’s uncomfortable for Philippa, enraging.

“A Terran greets death every morning. Being ill simply means my birthday is arriving sooner.”

Philippa is still justifying herself, pleading even, not attacking Michael verbally yet. This is Philippa talking about her nature: denying her who she is means denying her Terranity. An argument that Michael the xenoanthropologist is bound to hear. This is about identity, not which Universe they are in. Even if the rules of her universe don’t apply, she is owed respect for her identity.

It gives Michael the opening she needs after several parries. If this is about identity, these are the consequences to Philippa being a Terran in this world: her agency does not matter anymore. Michael knows this well as a Human raised on Vulcan, as a Vulcan in Starfleet, as a mutineer in the middle of a war. Identity never exists in a vacuum and this is where power comes into play.

Michael charges for the first time since the beginning of the argument:

“Philippa, you’re never gonna get the death you want here.”

And what a charge it is.

The structure be going to indicates near future, but also predictions based on present elements and intention: based on Philippa’s current choices, on her stubbornness, the logical conclusion is that Philippa will lose control over her death, plain and simple. Michael’s reassuring “We’ll get through this” on Book’s ship (Scavengers, 3.06) is old news.

Philippa’s face shows nothing but terror at this point. Having no say in her death would be an abject loss of control.

“You’ll be a study. Just a point of reference.”

Death would not be a present but as a legal and medical act, something banal, and, worse, something to use as reference: Philippa would not be the centre of the universe and she wouldn’t even be the centre of her own death. Michael, full of confidence, has found the key to the situation after having redefined the rules of the duel – Philippa wants honor, she wants identity, she wants control.

It’s something Michael can understand, castigated as she was on Vulcan, then on the Discovery.

“You want honor? It’s out there.”

Appealing to what Philippa understands, to what she seeks, Michael uses Philippa’s words in order to draw in Philippa to her reasoning, rather than scare her: she handles the concept Philippa was more comfortable brandishing as a shield, honor, rather than the others.

“No more tests or poking or prodding.”

Michael deciphered what Philippa wanted, redefined the situation so that the rules applied to them both, and now she is trying to offer Philippa what she wants, face to face, on equal terms.

“Just you and me and whatever’s waiting for you on that planet.”

The backlit shot mirrors Michael and the Emperor plotting against Lorca in Philippa’s quarters (What’s Past Is Prologue, 1.13), except their positions are reversed. However difficult the situations, Michael and Philippa have been together for two years now, having each other’s back. Their shared experience is real, not a subject of debate, even for Philippa’s distrust.

The move appears to be a mistake at first and Philippa lashes out again:

“In my universe, I plucked you off a rubbish heap.”

Someone being Philippa equal means she does not have control over them. Philippa lashes out as she did on Book’s ship (Scavengers, 3.06), attempting to put Michael in her place, both as a reflection of Mirror Michael who owes Philippa everything and as someone who cannot be her equal.

The blow is meant to be personal for Michael, but Michael has no connection to the other Michael. There is no bite to the attempt at control Philippa is trying to exert over this Michael. But Georgiou getting so personal is a clear sign she is losing ground and edging closer to desperation.

“How kind of you,” Michael answers, hints of sarcasm in her voice.

Michael knows that Philippa wants to be in control, of her, not only herself. There is no kindness in her past act, but it’s a double-edged sword swung at Philippa here: if Philippa was trying to help her, genuinely, then she is in her own words weak – if this is bare manipulation, Michael saw right through her and Philippa missed the hit, spectacularly.

“You think you are so different from her. You have the same need to bend people to your will. The only difference is that you lie about it to yourself.”

Finger jabbing at Michael’s chest, Philippa directs an ad hominem attack at Michael, zeroing on Michael’s nature in this universe, based on her understanding of her Michael in the other universe, but also of this Michael. The analysis is not entirely wrong, as shown by the way Michael has expertly maneuvered the argument, following the codes of the debate, never losing sight of the bigger picture as she did while facing the Ni’Var representatives (Unification III, 3.07). Yet, whether or not Philippa’s observation is founded is useless at this point.

Anyone who resorts to ad hominem attacks has already lost the argument.

All the more so here that Michael indirectly pointed out before that identity alone is not enough: the environment around is essential. Who Michael is, what she does has no impact on the reality of Philippa’s situation. And Philippa knows it.

“Does all that mean you’re coming?”

It’s an invitation to concede, in accordance by standard practices. First blood has been drawn, and by following Michael into a debate Philippa has already agreed that the fight will not be to the death. Refusing would be showing weakness, would be lacking honor, even in Philippa’s world.

Philippa is cornered, by her own doing: they have been here before, at the shrine of Molor (Will You Take My Hand, 1.14) and in the mirror universe with the treacherous Michael. If Michael, like her counterpart, bends people to their will, the only solution for Philippa is to kill her like she did in the mirror universe, yet when placed in a similar situation at the shrine of Molor, Philippa caved and could not kill Michael.

By her words, Michael is reminding Philippa of this: “we’re not doing this again. you know I will bend you to my will, you know the solution is to kill me, you know you won’t. This is over.”

Michael is accepting Philippa’s judgement of her for the first time, as a concession: the blow is inconvenient, humiliating, but it allows her a final attack, all-ending. She may try to bend people to her will, effectively did in the last five minutes, but Philippa is still alive and not fighting Michael anymore.

If she is not like Philippa’s Michael, well… Philippa has committed a mistake in her reasoning and Michael has won nevertheless.

What Philippa sees as Michael bending Philippa to her will is a level-headed, very Vulcan approach, something her Michael wouldn’t have been able to muster. Philippa has to accept that she is doubly defeated. Philippa fought hard to be the unstoppable force that moves the plot along and unblock situations; in the end, Philippa is the object.

“Lead me to my death, Angel Michael,” Philippa answers.

The phrasing makes a prisoner: it’s a final attempt to redefine the fight in terms that are acceptable to her. She was defeated and will die not on her terms. Yet, the vocative holds meaning in itself: on one hand, it calls back to Michael and Philippa’s first encounter after she joined Section 31 (Saints of Imperfection, 2.05), where Philippa had no issue presenting herself as the snake challenging Michael on her path. Second, as an envoy, angels are not meant to remain in the living realm and they descend to guide, warn or communicate with Humans.

Philippa is someone who has been dead from the start, always meant to come back to death, to hell (“Perhaps, I should join your Philippa Georgiou in hell.”)

This also places Michael and Philippa in the same realm. Angel and serpent. Two women who died and remade themselves. Two creatures of the in-between. Their natures are not the same, but their substances are. In constantly trying to find the mirror Michael in Michael, Philippa failed to consider the evidence: Michael, as she is, is like Philippa, not like Mirror Michael.

Identity, again. And what is Philippa owed as Michael’s counterpart?

“Hold out your wrist.”

Michael is not issuing a request, but an order that the Emperor eventually complies with. It’s the first time Philippa obeys Michael with so little recrimination. Because she was defeated? Because they are the same; the way Michael trusted Philippa not to hurt her during their duel, Philippa does Michael.

The monitor offered is essentially a cuff, meant to track her and count her remaining hours: yet Philippa gives Michael her hand willingly and Michael fastens the device around Philippa’s wrist with great care, almost tenderness. The gesture looks like a binding, to death, to Michael.

From the start, Michael has pinpointed that this was about power more than it was about honour or identity. But it wasn’t necessarily about Michael’s power over Philippa: it was about releasing power to attain equilibrium, that point where their trust is matched in the other, after two years of push and pull. Michael lets Philippa see her as she is, in all her might, however similar to Philippa it makes her, and Philippa accepts Michael’s hand, her lead, not as a show of weakness, but as bond.

It means that whatever realm Philippa will be crossing – again – Philippa will not be entirely alone.

#Star Trek Discovery #stdiscoveryedit #discoveryedit #michael burnham #philippa georgiou #emperor georgiou #milippa #medical #violence #text heavy #disco meta #Star Trek Discovery spoilers #Star Trek Discovery season 3 #mine:disco #mygifs #remblai #trickster kaiser specter spy #the only word to effectively describe it is wow #Be good... Philippa #very self-indulgent meta #look I had to #this is only my interpretation of the scene but I had many thoughts about duelling and debating and power and etc.#would have wanted to spend more time on this but it's already late and boy will next week be busy #I didn't even have time to make butterbredele #I can't believe I've written meta again #it's been so long #I hesitate to tag it as milippa since the meta itself is pretty general?#maybe tagging it just to be safe #it's going to get 10 notes anyway #I hope you enjoy it -- I know I had fun dissecting everything

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seducing-a-vampire · 4 years

Text

ON BEING HONEST AND WHY I THINK SIMON WILL BE THE FIRST TO SAY “I LOVE YOU”

Two things sparked this meta:

Baz yelling “you’re so beautiful” to Simon, but Simon not hearing it— the moment that lives rent-free in my head 24/7

Rainbow’s recent Fall for the Book interview, when she said that she thinks that Baz is “settling for Simon” in Wayward Son

Here’s something we all know: our guys really suck at saying nice things out loud to each other. For two people are constantly thinking nauseatingly sweet and loving things about each other, they almost never actually verbalize them.

I ended up going through a lot of quotes and tracking some of the nice things that they actually do say to each other, and I’ll offer some very r a m b l i n g thoughts on what I think Simon and Baz’s respective paths indicate for AWTWB.

I was interested in the intersection of when Simon and Baz are being honest to each other (aka saying some of the nice things that they’re always thinking) with when Simon and Baz are being honest about themselves (aka self-acceptance).

TL;DR, my prediction for their path through honesty is:

Simon’s self-acceptance (which starts at the end of WS)

Simon’s honesty to Baz re: love

Baz’s honesty to Simon re: love

Baz’s self acceptance

**Below the cut because it got super long, yikes**

Phase 1: Simon being nice/honest in CO

The first nice-ish interaction between Simon and Baz in Carry On is when Simon follows Baz up to the Mage’s office, and they find Baz’s baby photo:

“Here,” [Simon] says softly, holding it out to me. “I’m… sorry.” (204)

Simon tones down his initial hostility in this scene after he sees the photo. This moment, along with Natasha’s visitation, catalyzes a real change in how Simon views Baz, and it’s indicative of the larger shift (vulnerability → Simon seeing Baz as more than his enemy → Baz wearing jeans → oops I love him). This trajectory continues during their truce-- there are still a few moments of hostility, but honestly on the whole, Simon is pretty nice to Baz:

“You don’t want to hurt me,” I say, trying to push him back. “Isn’t that right? I’m sorry. Look at me, I’m sorry.” (210)

“I’ll help you,” he says (217)

“Baz,” I yell. “No! You’re flammable!” (238)

All of this culminates in the kisses in the forest, and Simon says a few more nice and affirming things around that point:

“They say your soul dies.” “That’s tosh,” he says. (300)

“You’re not a monster,” I say. His face is cold as a corpse in my hand. “I was wrong. All those years. You’re a bully. And a snob. And a complete arsehold. But you’re not one of them.” (339)

“I won’t,” I say. I’ve never turned my back on you. And I’m not starting now.” (340)

Something that stood out to me after reviewing these moments is that Simon’s shift from enemies to lovers is actually pretty linear. As he learns more about Baz during their truce and they grow closer, Simon hates Baz less and consequently says nicer things to him, until he ultimately realizes he doesn’t hate Baz at all, so he kisses him and asks him to be his boyfriend. Weirdly logical behavior for someone so thick. Simon is being pretty open and honest, and this makes sense because Simon understands himself pretty well at this point. His big crisis of character comes in the next book.

The thing is, at this point in Carry On, Baz has not said a single nice thing to Simon. The closest you could get is when he asks Simon to come to his house for Christmas, which is a great moment but is quickly muddled by their ensuing fight.

(awesome thoughts about that moment here)

Baz has acted nicely, but he has remained sarcastic and aloof even after Simon kisses him.

We get a few compliments of Simon’s power:

“You have to stop doing that.”

“What?”

“Godlike displays of magic.” (348)

“You’re the most powerful magician alive-- who’s ever lived, probably.” (355)

I won’t repeat @super-duper-twelve’s brilliant meta on this, but this category of compliment is not ultimately that useful for their general communication.

Simon keeps pushing, despite the cold walls Baz tries to put up, and he asks Baz to be his “terrible boyfriend.” Honestly, it astounds me how much confidence Simon must’ve had to just shoot his shot there, because Baz was not giving him a ton of reason to think he’d go for it. Me as simon would’ve definitely been like: ok cool, nice kiss, he definitely still hates me though.

Phase 2: Baz being nice/honest

I want to be clear: it’s perfectly understandable why Baz, a flawed fictional character, is not nice to Simon. His trajectory from enemies to lovers is completely different, because he’s spent years loving Simon while acting like his enemy. He’s had great practice at that, and it’s the most relatable thing ever that he is afraid of getting hurt when he’s believed Simon to be an impossible dream for so long. This is also understandable when viewed through the lens of self-acceptance because huge facets of Baz’s identity are constantly being covered up and ignored by himself or by the people close to him (vampire, gay). He knows himself, sure, but he’s a very long way from self-acceptance.

Anyway, Baz does actually agree to be Simon’s boyfriend, and we get a couple of honest Nice Things that they say to each other during that brief period.

Unfortunately, this mutual honesty/niceness is incredibly short lived, because everything changes quickly after this: Humdrum, Mage, Ebb, etc. Simon’s world falls apart, and Baz is there to comfort him, affirm him, and (finally) be honest and nice. Their whole dynamic turns on its head.

“You did it, didn’t you?” Baz whispers. “You defeated the Humdrum. You saved the day, you courageous fuck. You absolute nightmare.” (491)

“It’s going to be okay… it’s all right, love.” (492)

“You were the centre of my universe,” I say. “Everything else spun around you.” (506)

“Looking at you was like looking directly into the sun.” (507)

“You’re still Simon Snow. You’re still the hero of this story--” (507)

“It was brave. It was brave and selfless and clever. That’s who you are, Simon. And I’m not going to get bored with you.” (507)

“I choose you,” I say. “Simon Snow, I choose you.” (508)

To summarize and possibly oversimplify:

Up until the night of the Mage and Ebb’s death, Simon was the one pushing forward, being honest, and looking to break down the boundaries and walls between them.

After that point, Baz finally feels ready to be all in with Simon, and Simon retreats inward.

Phase 3: Wayward Son

We see this dynamic play out in Wayward Son, with almost no change throughout the whole book. Right from the very first chapter, Simon is thinking:

“Everything that happened with the Mage and the Hum-drum just made Baz more of who he was meant to be… He proved himself as a man and a magician. He proved himself right: The Mage really was evil! And I really was a fraud—’the worst Chosen One who’s ever been chosen,’ just like Baz used to say. He was right about me all along. “ (8)

I think it’s really notable that Simon can use his boyfriend’s words to justify his own worst self-doubts and self-loathings, because it indicates the consequences of them spending way more time insulting each other than ever being honest and affirming.

In Wayward Son, tender and honest moments between Simon and Baz are few and far between and mostly in the form of post-battle kisses. The only real communication that we see between them comes in flashbacks, wherein we see how much Simon has pulled back from Baz (the descriptions of his reaction to physical intimacy being one example of this).

Even when Baz says nice things to Simon and affirms him, Simon’s presumed depression largely keeps him from believing and internalizing those things (through no real fault of either person. Again, very understandable ways for both of these flawed characters with traumatic pasts to behave!!!!!). Baz yells, “you’re so beautiful” to Simon, and he doesn’t even hear him (a gutting moment that I consider indicative of the general dynamic between them throughout the book).

Now, we get to Rainbow’s comments about Baz “settling for Simon.” I feel this. Simon is pushing Baz away and giving Baz basically nothing, and that is not a healthy dynamic. Baz is going through his own crap and self-doubt and self-acceptance, and Simon is not there for him apart from fits of jealous rage. As we learned in Carry On, it takes a lot for Baz to even feel remotely comfortable expressing his feelings for Simon, and with many months lacking that, it starts to wilt.

What’s next: Prologue and AWTWB

Of course, the moment of truest communication in the second book comes at the very end:

“Why can’t you just admit that you’d be happier here?” “Why can’t you see that I wouldn't be happier anywhere without you?” (353)

I think the key to understanding what might come after this agonizing moment lies with Simon’s thoughts as he sits alone on the beach.

Before Baz arrives, Simon’s not thinking about his boyfriend. He’s thinking about himself. He’s contemplating his role in the World of Mage’s (hello, synopsis for AWTWB), and he’s taking a good, long look in the mirror. He’s starting to be honest about himself and accept himself (not perfectly, and I think this imperfect acceptance is reflected in his expressed desire to get rid of his wings, but he’s getting there).

When Simon talks about Baz staying in America and being happy, Simon is not closing himself up and pushing Baz away, which he had done for so long and which caused so much miscommunication up to this point. Rather, this is a moment of true honesty on Simon’s part.

Baz does need to learn more about himself and his vampirism. Simon recognizes this about Baz, just as Simon is trying to understand himself, too. In this moment, Simon is being true and vulnerable and speaking from a place of love. Baz refuses to self-reflect honestly and understand the truth in what Simon is saying, instead clinging to his love for Simon (without actually verbalizing that love). Throughout WS, Baz makes very stunted progress (see: his floral clothing as symbolism, being able to retract his fangs, meeting other vampires and learning about immortality and all that fun stuff), but in the end he doesn’t let himself actually think about that in any real way. Despite what Simon says, Baz has not yet “become more of who he was meant to be.”

Importantly, this is in the “Prologue,” the beginning of the next phase in their healing and their relationship. As the balance shifts, this could be the beginning of real communication, but Simon needs to take the next step. At the end of WS, Baz is the one holding back. Baz isn’t able to accept himself honestly, so he won’t be able to fully let Simon in, either.

Until Simon says “I love you,” they won’t get anywhere in their relationship. Simon needs to say it first, he needs to be vulnerable and honest in a way that he hasn’t been since before the Mage’s death, and Baz needs to understand those feelings in order to fully express his own. Then, I see Simon’s fully expressed love and support as a catalyst for Baz’s final self-acceptance.

I think Simon will be unable to fully express his love for Baz until he has understood and accepted himself. However, Baz will continue to prioritize Simon/love over his own self-acceptance until either (A) Simon and Baz break up, or (B) Baz finally has confidence and security in their relationship because Simon has broken down the barriers of honesty and said “I love you.” Simon needing to say “I love you” first also gets at the idea of Simon needing to become someone that Baz deserves (per Rainbow’s words).

So, I predict this as their path through honesty:

Simon’s self-acceptance (which starts at the end of WS)

Simon’s honesty to Baz re: love

Baz’s honesty to Simon re: love

Baz’s self acceptance

And then they will live happily ever after. The end.

*** Please let me know what you think and if this makes any sense!! ***

#carry on meta #wayward son #simon snow meta #carry on #awtwb #awtwb predictions #snowbaz #my nonsense

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lavenderek · 3 years

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Why were you disappointed by the Howl's Moving Castle movie? I think I read the book years ago, but I don't remember much about it

i'm gonna critique the gibbly movie and it's my understanding that it's a special movie for a lot of people so if that's you feel free to skip this one

so i was delighted and enchanted by the book, which has only twice to date not made the movie a devastating letdown, so my dear friend sending me this book was pretty much signing a contract in her own blood accepting that i would be cranky about the movie. i'm not really a ghibli person either, like i can appreciate the artistry and value in them, and i'll watch it if the people i'm with really need to watch princess mononoke or whatever, but i just don't go out of my way to watch them. (i like reading meta about spirited away, though.)

i did go out of my way to watch this one because i loved the book so much.

it's important to remember the culture in which the movie was made as opposed to the culture in which the book was made. howl is welsh, if that says anything to you. (his name is howell, and he adopted the name howl to run from himself and seem more magical. i love him and movie howl had none of those elements except for when he told us he was a coward and i was like. ok lol, i'll jot that down because i didn't see it in the text)

so i'm not necessarily surprised by the creative changes they made, but i am confused, because those changes drastically affect the characterization, the character motivations, and the pacing of the story.

(i also was only able to get my hands on the dub and i loathe and detest christian bale as howl lmfao but that's subjective)

so first of all, does movie sophie, like, want anything? she's flawless as a character. even though she has a completely different personality as an old lady than she does as a young lady, there's nothing wrong with her. everybody is fond of her, she's shy, she's gentle, she's beautiful, and she's kind, and her only motivation in the whole movie is this vague desire to cure the curse, but even then she doesn't work on it much at all. her life before howl is about being buffeted around like a leaf in the wind, and her life after howl is about being buffeted around like a cow in a twister. sophie in the movie is a blank slate. she is insecure about her looks (seriously, they couldn't even give her like a crooked nose or something, only doll-faced, thin, pale women over here), and her confessing this and crying about it for about four seconds was the first truly deep emotional response i had seen of her. i cried when she cried, who doesn't grapple with feelings of inadequacy? then the kid came out and she was like, okay, i'm done being upset now :)

second of all, howl is a little eccentric, but mostly he's just a glorious gentleman who has a messy room and one (1) overly dramatic depressive episode. it was disturbing to me as a viewer because it was violent and came out of nowhere, and it never comes back again lmao. it was so bizarre, he's introduced as this suave, debonair man in a cape, and he stays that way the entire movie, except for a weird moment in the middle where he screams at sophie naked and then lists the character flaws that we the viewers have never witnessed. why does he like sophie? why does sophie like him?

why did they turn michael into a child? i just don't see what that added to the story lmao. i get them taking out the complexity of secrets involving sophie's decidedly interchangeable sisters and their mystery beaus, it's a lot to fit into a little movie; but like, why did they turn him into a child though lmao

there's a lot of fatphobia in the movie too.

the change that upset me the most, though, was that the element of sophie having the ability to influence things without her knowledge was totally abandoned. like i said, things just sort of happen to her. in the book, her hats are the most lovely because she's inadvertently cast spells on them to make whoever wears them seem alluring or mysterious to people. the witch curses her because she recognizes these little spells and believes sophie's trying and failing to trick her (and also because sophie snaps at her lmao, why is movie sophie only an asshole when she's old? leave my daughter alone).

book sophie unknowingly protects howl by worrying over his cape (which she previously shredded because she got mad at him, i love her), she unknowingly enchants the scarecrow by helping it stand and complimenting it. she does that the entire book. she also starts the book already feeling sort of dull and trapped, and spends the story trying desperately to solve mysteries and protect loved ones. movie sophie doesn't like, sit around and knit demurely, don't get me wrong; but all the major plot points are things that howl makes happen to her lol.

i think the scarecrow is an excellent representation of book sophie's inner struggles. it's something she inadvertently enchanted, and she doesn't understand it, so she runs from it. she's terrified of the thing. in that way it kind of stands in for her own agency: only when she was forcibly in disguise did she feel free to find out what she wants her life to look like, and that kind of power is foreign and frightening to her. i loved that for her.

and very late in the book, howl reveals that he knew all along she was under a spell, that he tried to get rid of it out of curiosity (book howl doesn't seem to notice that he's just as imperious and nosy as sophie is), but she resisted it. he couldn't get the spell off. so he assumed she wanted to stay that way and let her be about it. so basically it's very huck finn on the raft, she realizes that in running to get away, she was already away. she had that agency all along.

all of that was missing from movie sophie. the idea of her inadvertently hanging on to the curse is still there, we see that she sort of fades back to her young self while she's asleep (not the case in the book, we know this because howl doesn't know what she looks like until she turns back in the end); but she doesn't seem to gain any knowledge about herself because of this. the only time she seems to have any personal drive, it's to learn about and help howl. her inner struggles are about howl. and i hated movie howl lmao, i hated his design and i hated his voice and i hated how like, patronizing he was to everyone around him. book howl was a condescending dick at times and just weird and distant at others, but he never came across like he was absolutely positive he was seducing sophie at any given moment. it was clear that he was the star of the movie and sophie was just the audience stand in to be like 🤩🥸🧐

the scarecrow who is a prince was the most hilariously egregious moment in the entire movie. in the book, the missing prince is introduced as a plot in the beginning and is referenced repeatedly throughout. and he's a major player in the climax. in the movie, it's the last like five minutes of the film and the scarecrow turns into a dapper boy with bread for hair and is like, "you've cured me! i'm a prince who went missing from a nearby kingdom and i was cursed but now i'm free." and i was like NICE, so we just found out there's a nearby kingdom that has a prince who's been missing. love that for us

the book had a lot of themes that i don't often encounter in fantasy novels - themes of female agency, of disguise, and of chaos. the chaos is my favorite part, every chapter is equally chaotic at various levels. you'll have michael fretting over some spell, sophie fretting over her own spell, howl trying to get someone in disguise to fall in love with him, THAT someone pining over michael, and all the while sophie and howl are bickering because she is cleaning (it seems like she cleans to clean up her mind) and he doesnt want her to (he is afraid of change and of reality), and he needs a huge favor of her, and she needs to wheedle out of it, and she promised calcifer she would free him, and calcifer is repeatedly promising to die of not being appreciated enough, and everybody is having three arguments at once. it's like that in every chapter, culminating in the moment howl and sophie realize they're in love, and they stand clasping hands and sort of smiling at each other in the middle of a room full of panicking and perplexed people just yelling over each other lmfao. surrounded by chaos and no longer thrown by it, rooted there in the middle of it, stabilizing each other in a way. i loved that. i actually flipped back a few pages so i could read that moment again.

and it seemed to me that the movie tried to imply that with visual chaos, but everything else was really quite linear and simple. everything was very airy. and since the conflama and the general atmosphere and character dynamics of the book is what made me fall in love with it, the movie didn't work for me.

tumblr user door pointed out that the book and the movie are extremely different and she appreciates them both as separate entities, and she's wise and correct; i knew this and i tried so hard to engage with the movie on its own terms. but i couldn't divorce them in my mind. i felt the same way about ella enchanted and practical magic. i cant stop thinking like, i wish they hadn't gotten rid of x, i wish they hadn't added this weird element of y.

also it was boring. i checked to see how much more was left three times. sorry. i can't express enough how little i cared about the plot with the witch and somebody's secretly evil boss and time traveling to yell at howl or something, because i didn't connect with the characters. and the feathers growing out of howl triggered my weird phobia about things being embedded in skin. i'm skeeved just remembering it.

anyway, yeah. the movie was beautifully animated and whatever atmosphere they were going for was pretty consistent throughout. oh and i LOVED calcifer. he was my favorite in both the book and the movie. in fact, he was the only character in the movie who they didn't really change, he was petty and bitchy in both versions. i loved him. he's like, "SHE FED ME SOMETHING YUCKY" my perfect, horrible boy.

oh and. book sophie was a redhead. that's all.

after i finished the book i tried to draw how imagined them:

couldn't finish it though, i wasn't super jazzed about how it was coming out.

she's sitting in like, a window well altering a coat of his without permission. and he's like, i guess i'll have to wear this one instead, and she's like, i guess you will

#haters #who is this even #long post #howell's mobile home #talking out of my ass

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the-queen-of-fools · 3 years

Text

Coffee & Cowboys

Chapter 1

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Word Count: 1600 Pairing: Jack ‘Agent Whiskey’ Daniels x English f!Reader (no y/n, no descriptions beyond accent) Rating: Mature (For language and themes. Might become explicit at some point) Warnings: Swearing; slow burn; angst; mentions of death; mentions of afterlife; mentions of alcohol; post-movie; AU

A/N: Slow burn. Meta / self aware-ish. I have no plan. First time writing Whiskey. No idea how often this series will be posted. (I’m English, and I liked the contrast with our ‘Southern charm’-filled cowboy, so the reader is English too…)

— — —

Saturday started like any other. No alarm, so you wake feeling refreshed and ready for the nothing you have planned. A nice long lie in, read for a bit in bed, hot shower, and very comfy clothes. You walk downstairs and into the kitchen as usual, eager to drink the glorious caffeinated nectar of life, when you stop abruptly. There’s a man stood there. His back to you, showing off some rather tight jeans, broad shoulders in a dark denim jacket and what looks like a stetson. Who the fuck wears a stetson? “What the fuck? Who are you? What are you doing in my house?” You yell, as you pick up the first thing you can find in reach - a chopping board. A chopping board? What? He turns around, face slack. You grabs a jar and throw it at him. It flies straight through him and hits the wall behind, glass shattering and coffee spreading everywhere. You’re both just staring now, right where the jar should have stopped on his body. Your eyes meet his, matching expressions of pure shock on your faces.

Uh... no. You shake your head and turn, running back upstairs and shutting your bedroom door behind you. You slide the lock in place, and dive back in to bed. Still holding the damn chopping board, you throw the duvet over your head and squeeze your eyes shut. You’re asleep. You have to be. You’re asleep, and dreaming of your nice relaxing morning routine. When you open your eyes again you can start the day right, have another lie in, a nice shower, and then a coffee without any men in your kitchen. Deep breath in, out, eyes open. Sitting up, throwing the duvet off, you look up and fuck! There he is, stetson and all. “Where am I?” A southern drawl crosses the room to you. It’s deep, and velvety, and if you’d heard it at a bar you’re sure you’d feel very differently about it. But in your bedroom? “Why are you here?” “Where IS here?” “How did you get in, anyway? The door was locked?” That stops him. His face softens slightly as he looks at you and says, “I... don’t know.” He furrows his brows, two deep set lines forming between them. He’s staring at the door, and when you lean forward you can just about see that the lock is still in place. “Did you walk through the door?” You whisper. He’s silent, still staring. “Are you a ghost?” That gets a reaction. He whips his head around, and glares at you now. “No.” “Are you sure?” His brow furrows again, face changing from its glare to a more fearful look as he whispers back to you. “…No.”

…

You’re both in your living room now. It’s taken over an hour to get you both to the stage you can share a room without shouting or throwing things. That would have been hard to explain to neighbours or your housemate. Admittedly, he calmed down quicker than you did. You’re pretty sure an existential crisis will do that to you. Plus, the novelty of throwing things through him took longer to wear off than you thought. Grasping tightly on your coffee (finally), the mystery ghost man paces in front of you. “You’re making me dizzy, would you stop?” You ask. He stops moving, sighs deeply and sits down on the chair across the room. “Huh.” “What?” He replies sharply. “Just curious why a jar goes through, or a pillow, or a chopping board, and you seem to be able to walk through doors without thinking about it, but you can still sit on a chair without falling through.” You explain to him, taking another sip of coffee. “Stupid metaphysical contradictions,” you grumble to yourself, and it actually brings out a slight chuckle from the man, who quickly tries his best to hide it. He shrugs. “Well, darlin’, I know nothin’ more than you.” “Don’t call me darling, cowboy.” “Cowboy?” His brows shoot up, a smirk lifting one side of his moustache slightly. “Because of the hat?” “And the accent. Thought you might prefer it to Ghost Boy... or Creepy McGee.” Another little chuckle falls from his lips as he leans forward, and looks at you. “You did follow me straight to my bedroom before. Creepy McGee would be a kind name for that.” “Cowboy is fine, sugar. Thanks, I guess.” “Ew. That’s worse than darling.” You finish the rest of your coffee in one mouthful, and look over to the man as he stands. “I’m still not convinced you’re real, just so you know.” “What are the options then, darlin’? Ghost or what, exactly?” Or what, indeed. “And more importantly, how do I get back home?” “The way I see it, we have three options.” “Based on what?” His hands are on his hips, and you forget for a second that he might not be there, he might not even exist. The breadth of his shoulders exaggerating the narrowness of his hands on his hips. Shit. Why couldn’t you have just met him in a bar instead? Why did he have to appear in your kitchen? He clears his throat, jolting you back to reality and you flush at the idea he’s just been watching you stare at him. The stupid smirk is back. “See something you like, darlin’?” He says, with a stupider wink.

Ignoring him and his smug face, you begin. “Option One: I’m having some sort of mental health crisis and you’re a figment of my imagination. A symptom, if you will. Option two: You’re dead. You’re a ghost and, for whatever reason, you’re haunting me. Or, option number three,” you pause, “You’re not dead.” “Preferable, from my point of view.” He interjects, frowning. “Option three is more like, you’re not dead, but you’re close. Like you’re in a coma, but you’re still sort of haunting me. An apparition, astral projection, you know?” He’s nodding along, but silent, and still frowning. “Let’s rule out option one, I have no history of visual or auditory hallucinations, nor a family history of such things. So. Onto option two; there is a fairly wide and agreed consensus about ghosts, so we have ideas on next steps. Option three may be a little trickier though...” You trail off, placing your empty mug on the table in front of you. You stand, and walk over to a shelf to vaguely look at the DVDs. “Why is that one trickier?” He asks, sitting down onto the chair again. “Resources, mostly.” You tell him, over your shoulder. “There’s a lot of hauntings in film and TV, so a decent amount of lore to look into and test. But apparitions not so much.” You turn to him, and shrug. “Wait.” He says, processing what you’ve told him. “Film and TV? Those are your resources?” “Oh. I’m sorry. You got a library book recommendation? Name and number of an expert, perhaps?” You are just met with a huff and Ghost Cowboy just folds his arms and leans back. “Uncharted territory here, Mr Grumpy.” The look that replaces the sulk is priceless. “Sorry, sugar. But I think I’ll get my own answers.” He stands up and walks to the front door. His hands passes straight through the handle, so he sighs, and just walks forward. He can’t get through it though, hitting it like he would usually instead. Another sigh as he turns to you. “What now?”

…

He’s pacing again as you voice each thought crossing your mind. “So. Physical limitation to a place: ‘Beetlejuice’, ‘The Others’... Pretty common trope.” You pause. “Ooh, can we try something?” He stops his pacing and looks at you with a huff. “Why not?” He says, throwing his hand out. “It’s not like it can get fuckin’ worse.” You stand and walk to the door. You open it, and walk back, past Mr Grumpy-Ghost-Cowboy, to the other end of the room. “Try to go through.” He does, hitting the invisible barrier. “Okay,” you move next to the open door, “try now.” He isn’t happy, but he tries again anyway. Nothing, still stuck. “Fine.” You move to the other side of the doorway, into your front garden. “One more time?” You raise your eyebrows and try to look sweet and innocent. “Please, Cowboy?” His hands are back on his hips. “Last time, English.” You nod, ignoring the newest nickname. It is decidedly better than darling and sugar, anyway. He tries again, and success. The cowboy walks through the door without any resistance. He looks shocked, and tries to walk further, perhaps out of your life forever. He’s stopped, again, at the wall. “Huh. Interesting.” You walk back inside your house, the ghostly intruder following you after a moment of pushing the solid air. “Very interesting. You weren’t dragged back by my reentering the house.” You close the door again, and move back to sit on the sofa. “So. We’re looking at… limited physical proximity to a specific person instead: ‘Heart and Souls’, ‘Just Like Heaven’, maybe? Sort of. Not quite.” You start to mumble to yourself, before lifting your head and looking directly at your guest. “I’m going to plan a movie marathon.” The ghost cowboy just shakes his head, frowning more than you thought possible. Any more, you think, and his eyebrows will start to fold in on themselves. “Look,” you tell him, “you’re not in pain, and you’re not fading away. I’m dealing in my own way, but I’m open to suggestions.” “Alcohol. Whiskey. Lots of it.” “A cowboy who likes whiskey. Groundbreaking.”

#agent whiskey #jack daniels #Martha writes #agent whiskey x reader #agent whiskey x you #kingsman 2 #kingsman: the golden circle #Coffee & Cowboys fic

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