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cassolotl · 1 month

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UK government planning to scrap a major disability benefit

I'm only just scraping by and the government are proposing to take away PIP (a disability benefit), which would be HALF of my income wiped out.

"Reforms to personal independence payments (PIP) could include stopping regular cash payments, and instead offering claimants one-off grants for things like home adaptations." -- "Disabled people face end to monthly benefits cash", BBC News, 29 April 2024

And:

"The plans, which will be consulted on over the coming months, also include proposals to “move away from a fixed cash benefit system”, meaning people with some conditions will no longer receive regular payments, but instead access to treatment if their condition does not involve extra costs." -- "People with depression or anxiety could lose sickness benefits, says UK minister", Guardian, 29 April 2024

That's what the NHS is supposed to be doing...

Genuinely absolutely terrifying.

Can anyone living in the UK join in with an (hopefully!) overwhelming cascade of unique emails to their MP opposing this? WriteToThem.com makes it very quick and easy.

They're proposing to replace it with one-off grants that the individual can apply for, which is absurd and horrifying, so feel free to point out how that won't work as well!

Here's what I'm writing, and do not just copy-paste my letter/email, because that makes it less legit. Do your own thing, even just one sentence telling your MP that you're opposed is enough if that's all you can manage. Whatever you want to say is what your MP needs to hear.

Dear [MP's name], Today I learned that the government plan to scrap PIP, and maybe replace it with something like a one-off grant application process, before the next election. ("Disabled people face end to monthly benefits cash", BBC News, 29 April 2024: https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cn0ry09d50wo) PIP is about half of my income (about 44%). I don't spend it on occasional large purchases, I spend it on countless things that are more expensive for me than they are for other people. PIP is in place to acknowledge, as it says in the above article, that disabled people's lives are more expensive than non-disabled people's lives by hundreds of pounds per week. ("Previous research from Scope suggests households with at least one disabled adult or child face an estimated average extra cost of £975 a month to have the same standard of living as non-disabled households." That's £225 per week, and the maximum amount of PIP you can get is £184.) So firstly, it could be argued that PIP doesn't even cover the additional expenses of the average disabled household. And next, the cost of implementing an alternative system would be worse for disabled people, totally unsuited to its purpose, and more expensive to run. Worse for disabled people: Currently PIP acknowledges that being disabled takes a lot more work to maintain a comparable standard of living, and as it's an amount of work that the claimant cannot sustainably do, they are given money so that they can pay someone else to do it. These costs are distributed across all living expenses, in addition to occasional one-off purchases of e.g. mobility aids. Having to apply for one-off payments for expenses would be more work on top of that, so if the disabled person isn't able to do it (which is very likely) they will either have to work less in their day jobs in order to spend more time applying for one-off grants, or they will have to also apply for one-off payments to pay someone to apply for more one-off payments. This is self-evidently a waste of energy and time, and totally impractical, as well as being counter to the entire point of disability benefits. It would also be extremely undignified for the disabled people, and arguably against human rights (right to private life and dignity), to have to justify each purchase to the government. Totally unsuited to its purpose: One off-grants are not suited to ongoing higher expenses such as having to buy more prepared food (e.g. carrot batons are more expensive than raw carrots and go off much more quickly). Does this policy assume that disabled people's PIP is only for things like wheelchairs and walking sticks? More expensive to run: The system for PIP applications is already fairly backlogged, in that my last application took over 6 months to complete. I was awarded PIP for 10 years. If every application for a one-off grant had to be accompanied by an application of a similar scale that wouldn't be workable, so presumably an initial PIP application like the current system's would still be required to qualify for the system in the first place, and then following that, numerous smaller applications for money (e.g. for taxis, pre-chopped veg, painkillers, specialist clothing, etc.) would be carried out per person per month. The disability benefits system would have to be scaled up significantly, and it would be much more expensive. It is far cheaper to give people a set amount of money based on their needs; it's the same money that you would be giving them in grants anyway, but without having to process each purchase/one-off application. I implore you to oppose this proposal. It is blatantly unworkable to the level of absurdity, but more importantly it is inhumane. I look forward to your reply detailing your stance. Many thanks in advance. Yours sincerely, [My name]

But, again, if you can't manage anything long or complicated like that, your best is good enough. Even if they're not all perfectly written and detailed, we want to bowl them over with sheer quantity of emails.

#disability #disabled #armchair activism #UK #UK politics #PIP #personal independence payments #DWP #department for work and pensions #disability benefits #activism

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thezombieprostitute · 5 months

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Dream Come True - Part 3

Summary: The “Garbage Men” are the guys in the mob who get the dirt on others and clean up after the higher ups. They have many different ways of gathering intel by running legitimate businesses. One such business is Jefferson/Jensen’s cyber cafe where you regularly go to work. You’ve actually become good friends with Jefferson’s daughter and Jensen’s niece. You even volunteered as their after-school tutor. One day, there’s a robbery attempt where you get hurt protecting the girls. This is how you are introduced to Curtis Everett, the guy in charge of the “Garbage Men”.

Warnings: Violence mentioned and referenced, not written. Insecure reader. Bullying with an emphasis on fat shaming. Please let me know if I miss any!

Part 2 -- Part 4

Series Masterlist

Ransom was not having a good day. Truth be told, he hadn't had a good day since Steve punched his stomach over a week ago. The writer's block had hit harder than usual. Many applicants for the Assistant position were garbage, completely upsetting his idea that you just needed to google the right answers.

He was starting to realize that Fatso, as he had taken to calling her in his head, was able to help him through his writing blocks because she had the context of the other questions, some rough draft information, and she'd include ways to use her research into the story. Maybe he just needed to actually hire someone from the "competent" file and try from there?

Problem was, time was an issue. His writer's block had kicked in hard and his publisher was getting more impatient about updates. He spent so much time just staring at his computer.

He was startled out of his contemplation by a phone call. If it was his publisher he'd just ignore it but the Caller ID showed "Steve Rogers".

Ransom answered, "Rogers! To what do I owe the pleasure?"

"Where the hell are you Drysdale?" Steve was quiet growling into the phone. Indicating he was around others.

"What do you mean?"

"The damned Stark party? Raising funds for Rhodes's campaign?!" Ransom could swear he heard Steve's teeth grinding. "You're supposed to be here chatting with Mrs. Devereaux. Buttering her up to at least not donate to Wilford?!"

"Shit," Ransom jumped up and ran towards his closet. "Tell her I'll be there in 20 minutes. If she needs an excuse, I was writing up a storm. I'll make it up to her by naming a character after her or something."

"Just. Get. Here." Steve hung up.

Yeah, Ransom was not having a good day.

Your life was returning to some sense of normalcy. The crutches were a pain but, thankfully, you didn't have a lot of places to go. You wanted to get back to working as quickly as you could, if only to feel like you were actually earning some of the money you'd been given.

But you'd kept your promise to be safe, and allow yourself to heal. You did your best to keep within the movement restrictions you were given. Part of you was still waiting for that hospital bill. Yes, Curtis, Dr. Beck, even Jake and Jefferson all said it was taken care of but part of you still waited for that dreaded notice of nonpayment.

Thankfully the cybercafe wasn't too far and you were able to convince the J's (as they told you to call them) that it was the perfect distance for your needed exercise and movement and you'd sit at the cafe long enough to rest for the return trip. You were happy to get back to tutoring the girls in the afternoons. Your mornings were spent applying for other jobs.

One morning your applications were interrupted by Jake.

"Hey, Y/N, this is Hal," Jake gestured to the handsome, shirt-haired man, wearing a too small shirt, next to him. "He's here to work with you towards getting his GED.”

"Oh, yes," you perk up. "Curtis mentioned another possible student." You reach out your hand and Hal, grinning even wider, shakes it.

"It's mighty kind of you to agree to this," he began. "I've been meaning to fill in that gap on my resume for some time.”

"Well I'm happy to help you with that. Please, have a seat so we can get started?”

Hal pulls out the nearest chair and turns it so that he sits on it backwards, his muscly arms resting on the back of the chair.

"So, is this a time that works for you," you ask. "I've got a pretty open schedule so your time preferences are get priority.”

"Well," he hesitates, "my schedule is pretty all-over-the-place. Is there any chance we could take it a week at a time?”

"Sure," you affirm. "As long as you give me notice so I'm not sitting here doing nothing.”

"Yes, ma'am," Hal nods. "I'm not in the habit of leaving pretty girls wanting." He gives a wink but you drop your eyes and sigh.

"Hal," you scold. "I'm going to guess you're the type to hit on anything that breathes?”

Clearly taken aback by your tone Hal straightens in his seat. "No," he denies. "Maybe. I swear I was just trying to compliment you.”

You pause your comeback and take a deep breath instead. "I suppose there is a difference," you concede. “Just please be careful with both of those around me. I am not a "pretty girl" and I do not appreciate being addressed as such.”

Hal's eyebrows furrow in confusion so you continue, "let's just keep the compliments related to our work? Please? I'd always prefer being smart or nice to being pretty." You give him a small smile and he visibly relaxes.

"Sure thing, Teach," he says. "So, where should we start?”

Curtis was cleaning up the interrogation room after Barnes and Fowler's latest “message” to Rumlow’s crew. They had already taken the body to drop it off on Rumlow's front door, Curtis would make sure all evidence was removed from the room. It was ugly work but maybe, just maybe, Rumlow would stop trying to push his drugs and thugs in their territory.

He was finishing up when he got a text from Jefferson saying Hal’s first session went well. He normally doesn't need these kinds of updates from the legitimate side of things but he found himself rather invested in your progress. You were unusual. A puzzle he wanted to figure out.

Or so he kept telling himself to explain why he was thinking about you so much. You’d shown yourself to be sweet and patient with others but he remembers the fire with which you spoke to him. He almost felt like a moth drawn to your light but he had to keep himself in check. For now it was enough to know you were doing well and helping his family.

At least until he got the follow up text from Jefferson saying, “Ran is looking for Teach. Ok to share info?”

Curtis felt his jaw tighten. The pompous ass had fired someone for taking a bullet. He didn't want him anywhere near you. He was sure you wouldn't want to see Ransom, either. Jake had told him you'd blocked your former boss’s number and his emails would go straight to spam. He texted back a simple “no.” Let the asshole suffer.

Part 2 -- Part 4

Tagging @alicedopey because I promised I would.

@dontbescaredtosingalong

@icefrozendeadlyqueen

@texmexdarling

@veltana

@winter-soldier-101

Let me know if you'd like to be tagged.

#Curtis Everett x plus size!reader #curtis everett x reader #mob!curtis everett #mafia!curtis everett #Curtis Everett x female!reader

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akesdraws-blog · 3 months

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Giving you a hand

Version (🎞️TMNT BAYVERSE🎞️)

Note: The turtles help you prepare for a job interview and will pretend to be the future or possible boss. Warnings: None, spelling mistakes

🍵Leonardo 🍵

It will prepare you as if you were going to go into the most dangerous fight of your life. He was reading your application for a few moments and made you show him that you really have all those skills that you put. (If you said you are fast at writing, you better be, because it will take your time) You better not stutter at any point or you'll get Leo's ninja stare. (And he is not very pretty to say the least)

Y/N. -Why the hell do I have to practice immobilizing someone?!- L. -Never know what is going to happen in your work- Y/N. -But I'm going to apply for secretary, not security!-

And when they have to simulate the interview, Leo will come into character, a boss who may seem friendly but will not be. He will offer you some tea and they will start doing the “interview”. But after a few minutes his response is…

L. -We will call you- Y/N. -What? Leo, this is supposed to be the part where you tell me I have the job.- L. -I would if you had done it well- Y/N. -But I did everything right! I answered everything, which part was wrong- L. -To begin the posture, you are hunched over, and you play with your feet, in addition to fiddling with your hands, that does not show security, and your smile seemed more like a request for help… Shall I continue? -

That's right, Leo is going to evaluate everything you do. Internally you will be grateful that you are not going to have a boss like him.

⚗️Donatello ⚗️

This guy will review your application about 10 times and he will always find some error, which will cause you to do it again. He gave you a time to answer each question and you better not spend another second or they will go back to the beginning. He himself wrote you a few pretty good letters of recommendation. He will prepare you in any aspect that the interview may cover and even that which it will not cover.

Y/N. -Is it necessary for me to study this?- D. -They have to see that you are skilled in any case- Y/N. -But I don't think a cafeteria would ask me to know how to repair an engine- D. -But maybe your boss's car doesn't work, and that's where you act!-

When it's time to simulate the interview, you'll be as nervous as if it were a real one. Because like Leo, he gets into character and we're not talking about a good one, his character will be like talking to John Jonah Jameson Jr. himself.

D. -So you want to work- Y/N. -That's how it is- D. -Why here? Why not somewhere else? I heard they were looking for one near here- Y/N. -Well, it's the closest to where I live- D. -Just that? Isn't it because we are the best? Are you reducing us only as an option for closeness? Y/N. -I did not mean that- D. -If you don't see how we are the best of the best, maybe it's not the place for you, look for another place!- Y/N. -Donnie!- D. -What? Was it too much? You never know what kind of boss you will have-

Let's say you'll practice interviewing with different types of bosses, from a nice boss to one you'd want to hang. But in the end he will apologize if he feels that he has crossed the line or notices that your morals have gone to the ground.

🥊Raphael 🥊

It will only help with two issues.If she found what you were doing curious or because she saw you as nervous as a chihuahua. (And your murmurs were already bothering him)

First he will question the place and position you will go to, he knows that you are much better for such a low position, but he hopes that at least they will give you a good pay.

But if you have photos of the place where you are going to apply, this guy will go into overprotective mode.

R. -Why can't you see where the fire extinguishers are? The emergency exit is very far away, and have you already seen the windows? Any crazy person could throw a stone and it would break into thousands of pieces, what kind of security protocol? do they have in case of a theft? Or if the Foot Clan arrive?

Y/N. -Why would those on the foot go to a cafeteria?-

R. -They may be criminals but everyone needs a coffee-

That's right, raph just created a new fear for you.

You will have to beg him to simulate an interview, because in his words it is a waste of time.

R. -Do you have schedule availability?-

Y/N. -Yes!, at the time I set I will come right away and...-

R. -Do you know how to make coffee, tea or whatever we sell?

Y/N. -Yes, my espressos are wonderful and...-

R. -Do you want to work here?-

Y/N. -Um, yes, but you have to let me finish talking...-

R. -Hired, I'm leaving-

Y/N. -Raph!-

It will be a matter of a few minutes before your mock interview ends, mostly because Raph won't let you finish talking.

But he always encourages you, he knows that you can do it if you put your mind to it.

🍕Miguel Angel 🍕

He already knew that you were preparing for an interview, it's not like he will use your phone to order a pizza and by mistake he read the message of the day and time your interview would be, that didn't happen at all.

He will show you the best streets and shortcuts to avoid traffic.

M. -And if you go this way you can get there in less than 20 minutes-

Y/N. -Mike... They are buildings-

M. -You will never see traffic over there-

Mikey will beg to simulate the interview.He even converted the room into an office, you saw how he made a boss badge out of a pizza box that said “Super Chief Cowabunga”.

You don't even know where he got a tie, much less a briefcase.

Y/N. -Very well, remember Mikey, you are the one who is going to interview me, just follow the questions that I put on the sheet and the ones that occur to you-

M. -Understood, but bosses are always full of papers, Donnie must have a lot of papers-

Y/N. -I don't think they are necessary-

M. -And the bosses also have a phone to call their pretty assistants-

Y/N. -I don't even think that's important right now-

M. -Wait, a boss has a white cat, right? I need a white cat-

Y/N. -I don't think bosses have a white cat-

They never start to simulate the interview, as Mikey quickly gets distracted.

In the end you will only see how Mikey continues to bring more and more things to be a true “boss”

One good thing is that you weren't nervous anymore, and if you started to feel a little nervous you only remembered how Mikey started to get distracted and it just made you laugh a little.

•°~•°~•°•~°•~°•~°•~°•~°•~°•~°•~°•~°•~°•

Tags:

@turtle-babe83 . @dilucsflame33. @thelaundrybitch . @scholastic-dragon. @leosgirl82. @tmnt-tychou .@little-bunny-in-space . @happymoonangel . @lazyafgurl . @kikithedreamerwriter .@androidships007.

#tmnt fandom #tmnt 2016 #tmnt bayverse #tmnt 2014 #bayverse donnie #bayverse leo #bayverse mikey #bayverse raph #bayverse turtles #tmnt x reader #tmnt april #april o'neil #tmnt casey jones #casey jones #bayverse casey jones #Bayverse april

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fanfic-obsessed · 8 months

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Back with the questions!

So Actually Traitors has Dooku getting taken with the Jedi when they leave. What's he doing there? Making trouble, furthering Palps' plan, gradually talking more with the clones and oh no he's attached??

Also. Fox. Is apparently allergic to particular Force acts? It's less that I think this is ridiculous (though it is very funny) and more that I'm wondering what the hell they did? And whether anyone thinks it's weird that they're writing papers on this or if the Archivists/researchers are just like "YES fun none war things to research!"

At first Dooku was supposed to play nice, to gain the confidence of the Jedi, banking on Yoda's love for his lineage. Then his job was to be three fold: 1. to provide Palpatine with information on the Jedi and their movement, so they can plan accordingly, 2. to encourage the idea that the Jedi need to act as the aggressor toward the republic, and 3. to plant the seeds to fracture the Order if necessary.

It never really gets off the ground, primarily because of Obi Wan. Though no one in the Jedi Order ever found out that Dooku was a Sith in this, Obi Wan did make a point of telling Jocasta Nu exactly who vandalized her Archive (in part out of pettiness to head of the Seperatists, in part to direct her attention away from Cody-who had just accidentally broken a data chip with a slightly rare treatise dating from the Old Republic). As a result Madame Nu effectively grounded Dooku- She has restricted his ability to send communications, he is NOT allowed to interact with any Jedi below the level of Knight OR any of the clone cadets or Shinies, and she or a designated guardian would be escorting him everywhere until 'he was mature enough to not destroy other people's knowledge'. No one is really sure that Madame Nu has the authority to ground Dooku (Who is at least nominally still a planetary leader and, strictly speaking, is being held against his will after being abducted by the Jedi Order).

By the time he is no longer grounded he has gotten attached, specifically to Alpha-17. Alpha-17 was one of his more frequent escorts, and the two shared similar opinions on the Senate (In that the application of some generous assassinations' would greatly enhance the atmosphere), Anakin Skywalker (far too too reckless, far too arrogant, and in desperate need to therapy-Dooku never seems to realize the irony of this belief), and a taste for very expensive alcohol. It is Alpha-17 that draws Dooku back to the light.

Dooku eventually goes before the Jedi Council to confess to being a former Sith, to find that no one is surprised. It took precisely two weeks in frequent contact with Dooku for each of the Council to realize he had fallen, but it was decided to see where things would go, and that Dooku's communications would have been monitored (and still would be monitored).

For Fox; he, Ventress, Vos they were experimenting with the use of Jedi mind tricks when compared to Sith mind control in sex. It is all Safe, Sane, and Consenual and heavily discussed beforehand. However it turns out that having both a Mind Trick (Actually three separate mind tricks geared toward increasing Fox's sensitivity and attraction) and Mind Control active at once caused hives for Fox. The baffled healers and medics, who had never hard of that reaction before, also found out that something in Fox's genetic code caused Antihistamine to get him really high.

Th Archivist are ecstatic with the experiments, especially since the Kenobi/Cody Polycule insist on the scientific method. It is the only reason that Madame Nu forgave Cody.

#star wars #star wars the clone wars #I love to answer questions #obi wan kenobi #star wars au #bamf obi wan #sheev palpatine #codywan

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darkstarofchaos · 4 months

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For the character ask game, I'm not sure how many numbers you're willing to do for a single ask, so you can just do as much as you want from this. For Prowl - 2, 3, 7, 8, 12, 15, 16, 23, 25

I don't mind a bunch of numbers! Gives me an excuse to ramble, lol. And to rant, because Prowl deserves better.

2: Favorite canon thing about this character?

His willingness to look Optimus in the face and tell him he's being stupid, and to do his own thing to mitigate the stupidity if he has to. Mostly applicable to IDW, but Optimus needs a foil so badly in G1 that I've pretty much transplanted it into G1 Prowl when I write him. Not in its entirety, because G1 Prowl isn't IDW Prowl, but I like that he has his own opinions on tactics and morality and doesn't just go with the Autobot collective. His job is not to be a yes-mech; it's to keep people alive and win battles. If his commander is making stupid decisions, what benefit is there in standing back and letting it happen?

3. Least favorite canon thing about this character?

Making the police car an actual cop was the most boring decision anyone could have made. In stories where the Cybertronians choose their alts, especially, there are so many more interesting things you could say about his character by giving him a pre-war job that's completely unrelated to his Earth alt. For example, I like to think he chose it for tactical reasons: it's a common black and white vehicle, thus perfect as a disguise, and the sirens let him "legally" break Earth traffic laws in an emergency. It's far more interesting if his alt is a result of strategy and reasoning instead of, "I guess I'll take the one that matches my old job description."

7. What's something the fandom does when it comes to this character that you like?

I like that people took the little tidbit about Prowl having trouble with the unexpected that has exclusively appeared in two bios (that I'm aware of) and made it reasonably common. Would be really nice if they treated it seriously instead of making it comic relief, but maybe it does get treated more seriously these days. I don't read a lot of Prowl fic.

Let's talk about why.

8. What's something the fandom does when it comes to this character that you despise?

The image compilations of Prowl getting punched. The prick jokes that litter every TF Wiki page for every G1-based Prowl. The fanfics where Prowl is an uncompromising jerk or straight-up hate sink because the author needed a mean Autobot. The conversations and hypotheticals that make Prowl the source of any amoral action the Autobots take. The people who distill him down into Essence of Asshole and strip out every positive or sympathetic quality he has.

"Prowl gets villainized for being sensible" is one of my most hated fanfic tropes. Grab just about any fic where a Decepticon defects or earns the Autobots' sympathy in some way, and Prowl will be the only one who's unhappy with the situation. Which is perfectly reasonable because that is an enemy and he has no reason to trust them, let alone like them. But because we're supposed to sympathize with the Decepticon, that makes Prowl the villain. The other Autobots aren't naive and unreasonably forgiving, Prowl is just a bad person.

And it's not just IDW fics. G1 Prowl didn't get a whole lot of screen time, and thus no chance to develop his own personality, so he gets slapped with the same portrayal. Never mind the fact that when he does show up, he's one of the nicest characters - sure, he gets in on trash talking the Decepticons (though far less than some of the Autobots), but he's always helping out around base, shows concern for others, and pretty much stays out of interpersonal conflict. And yet, in stories based on a cartoon that has Powerglide, Gears, Cliffjumper, and Optimus Prime himself, I am expected to believe Prowl is the Autobots' resident jerk. Not gonna happen.

12. What's a headcanon you have for this character?

As I mentioned earlier, it's kind of quasi-canon that Prowl has trouble dealing with the unexpected. It's never appeared in any actual media, but it does come from official sources, so I wouldn't call it a headcanon. But I do headcanon that he has some pretty severe anxiety in dealing with people because of it. Things like math and physics are reliable; if something doesn't do what you expect it to, it's because you lacked information, and you can remedy that. You can update your calculations based on the results you actually got, or try to find out what you were missing the first time. Given enough data, you can predict just about anything as long as the results are consistent.

People are not consistent. You can make some sweeping generalizations about them based on categories - social groups, behaviors, readily obvious personality traits - but you can never say with certainty that someone will react in a specific way to something. Once you've known them for a while, you start to understand them and can anticipate them with a reasonable degree of accuracy, but that's assuming their behavior is genuine and consistent. If they're messing with you or pretending to be something they aren't, your data is inaccurate, and you can't correct it unless you know it's inaccurate.

People are the only things in the natural world that can deliberately give you false data about what to expect from them. So yes, I think Prowl has social anxiety. And probably some form of people-centric agoraphobia or anthropophobia.

(I also headcanon him as biromantic asexual. It has nothing to do with the above, and actually predates the anxiety headcanon).

15. What's your favorite ship for this character? (Doesn't matter if it's canon or not.)

If I had to pick just one pairing, I guess I would say Jazz/Prowl. Which is ironic, because for a long time, it was one of my least favorite Prowl pairings. Not because it was particularly objectionable; it was just everywhere, and I couldn't see it working. I think of Prowl as the kind of person who needs a steady, reliable partner who will let him have his routines and respect his desire to plan things before doing them, and Jazz's thing is more spontaneity and flexibility. He seemed like one of the worst partners for Prowl, especially with how I developed Prowl's disorders over the years.

In the end, though, that spontaneity is what brought them full circle to a pairing I can support. Because I do think Jazz would be willing to compromise and accommodate for Prowl's needs, and that Prowl could eventually trust that he's not going to suddenly change how he acts around him. It's a rather tenuous case of opposites attract, and requires patience from both parties, but I can see it working now.

16. What's your least favorite ship for this character?

First, an honorable mention goes to my immediate impulse, which was Constructicons/Prowl. I get why people want IDW Prowl to have someone on his side, and I don't think the Constructicons meant any harm. But Prowl was forced into the team through a series of traumatic events, the Constructicons like him for things he hates about himself, and being a part of Devastator seems to have contributed to his psychological decline. It wasn't a good or healthy situation for him, and I feel like the Constructicons having romantic feelings for him actually makes it more uncomfortable for me.

That being said, I'm going to have to go with Optimus/Prowl as my absolute least favorite ship. Optimus is very strongly motivated by morality and will generally take what he perceives to be the most moral action in a given situation. Pair that with someone like Prowl, who is willing to cross lines when he feels he has to, and you already have a relationship on rough ground. The only way things can work between them is either for Optimus to accept Prowl's "moral failings", or for Prowl to change a fundamental part of himself. There is literally no option that doesn't require one of them to compromise their principles or change who they are. And since Optimus isn't the kind of person who will do that, the only hope for a relationship is to "fix" Prowl. And that gets into abusive territory, because Optimus has power over Prowl in both the physical sense and in their professional relationship. He also has social power, because because Prowl is unpopular and Optimus is exactly the kind of person you wouldn't expect to be capable of abuse.

And yes. For the sake of argument, it could be toxic from Prowl's side too. He could try to hurt Optimus by throwing his mistakes in his face, or by blaming him for everything that goes wrong. But Optimus has a great deal of confidence in himself and the support of pretty much everyone, while Prowl is isolated and already isn't proud of things he's done. He is far more vulnerable to abuse than Optimus is, socially and psychologically, and he just doesn't deserve that.

23. Favorite picture of this character?

Mmm. I guess I would have to say this one, since it inspired an entire story that I'm still working on. There's actually another one that I like better (which also spawned an in-progress story), but I'd have to do more digging to find the link for that one. Might do it later.

25. What was your first impression of this character? How about now?

When I started watching G1, the Autobots were just a conglomerate of near-identical personalities to me. Prowl was just one of the generic background bots who got a few minutes of screentime in one episode and was otherwise relegated to a support role. I was mildly interested by some of the fanfic portrayals I saw, but I definitely preferred the Decepticons, so I didn't read much where he was a main character unless there were Decepticon MCs too. And most of those fics were written by a couple authors whose endings were consistently disappointing, so after I stopped reading their stuff, Prowl just dropped off my radar.

Nowadays, Prowl is my favorite Autobot (well, second favorite after Skyfire). Thanks to IDW, I kind of see him as the Autobot version of Starscream (narratively if not in personality), but he's also a fascinating character in his own right. I love that he doesn't conform to the Autobots as a whole, he's fun to write and analyze, and he was the one good thing I got out of the IDW comics. 10/10 character, deserves better.

#transformers #Prowl #unpopular opinions

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fuck-customers · 4 months

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Sorry in advance. This one is gonna be REAL long and vent-y.

So I currently have a retail job that I've been at for 4 years. I'll be honestly, it's never been a great job and since it's retail, I obviously never intended to stay there forever. Honestly, I've stayed there longer than I intended to, due to a lot of disasters in my personal life. (legal battles, house fire, homelessness) And because it was easier to just stay at a job that I already had and was already established and trained and knew the drill vs. going through these personal disasters at a new job, trying to give a good impression and perform well while hiding the fact that I'm miserable and going through a lot of difficulties that I do not want to bring into work/have bosses or coworkers be aware of. (I feel very hesitant to share any personal info at work, because I worry that any shared info not work-related can be used against me, in minor and major ways. But perhaps I'm being unnecessarily paranoid.)

However, after all this time of me dragging my feet, it is unfortunately clear to me that I am going to have to get another job. My job was always part-time (with a promise that was a lie about being promoted to full-time with good performance) but now my hours have majorly decreased from 12-30 hours per week when I was first hired, to now getting 3-6 hours EVERY OTHER WEEK.

So now I have begrudgingly resigned myself to accept the fact that I need to apply for jobs. I'm terrified. I've accepted it, but I'm terrified.

I don't have very much work experience. I had a seasonal job before my current job (3 months) and I've been at my current job for (a bit over) 4 years, which looks good because it shows loyalty, commitment, blah, blah, blah. But that's IT. 2 jobs. No degree or license or qualifications. I was in a few clubs in high school, but I'm too old to be listing my high school achievements. I can't afford college. And I know that a lot of job applications have auto-delete programs that will just trash an application if it doesn't have the correct buzzwords...but how am I supposed to know the correct buzzwords? I've also heard about ghost listings where companies post job listings they never intend to fill so they get a tax write off or whatever. (Idk if this is true, but the idea is enough to terrify me) I also have a hearing disability and I suspect (but am undiagnosed) that I have a learning/neurological disability, possibly ADHD or mild autism.

So there's ALL THAT weighing on my mind. And then on top of all of that, I'm scared out of my mind about my own personal situation.

I figure I can probably fake it well enough for the first week or so, maybe the first month if I'm really crafty and lucky (I figure I can get through the application process by listing my P.O. box as an address without putting that it's a P.O. box. And I have a lot of clothes from before becoming homeless that I can change into so I'm not constantly wearing the same clothes) but eventually people at this hypothetical new job will figure out that I live in a car (I can change my outfits and use dry shampoo on my hair, but trust me, from experience I know that I can really only go about a week and a half without a proper shower before it becomes very noticeable, no matter how much dry shampoo I use. I am a female woman with medium-length hair, for perspective) and will treat me differently and disrespect me and treat me as less than human. Or possibly take advantage of me, shoving extra work on me because I "need the money" and making me a scapegoat. Or worse, firing me. Sure, it's illegal (I think) but if they really want you gone, they can find any minor mistake you have made (and being new at a job, I will likely make a few) and use that as an excuse to fire me. Or lay me off due to "budget cuts" or some bullshit. If they want you gone, they can make it happen.

But most importantly, I don't feel good about myself. I've never had particularly high self-esteem, but in past interviews, I was able to list positive traits of mine and spin the less positive ones in a good light.

But now I don't even remember a positive thing about me. It doesn't help that my mother (whose car I live in) puts me down every chance she gets. Every day, she calls me a loser with a dead-end job and tells me I need to get a new job, without listening to what I tell her I need from her to do so. (She doesn't have a job, but of course that's not a problem) For example, I do not have word on my laptop. I need to go somewhere (library? the paperclips store? Unfortunately the work network place in my area that used to help with job applications, resumes, etc shut down) to use a computer with word to update my resume, as the one I have on my computer does not have my current job. (I tried to use the online version...what a nightmare. Also, sure there ARE resume websites where you can use their templates and make your resume....for a price. Usually $50+ that I can't afford for something I will use exactly once.) She refuses to help, even though I think her laptop has word, but I am not certain, and instead just repeats the same things over and over like a broken record. "You need to get a better job." "You're going to die a loser at a dead-end job if you don't quit." "You need to get a full-time job." (Sidenote: she herself has not even glanced at job listings. There are NO full-time jobs available, unless you are a licensed professional, a doctor, nurse, teacher, etc.)

But despite all of that, I need a new job. I held our for the holidays, thinking with the holiday rush, I'd get more hours and I could use that to keep me afloat while looking for a new job in the new year. Well. Our hours continually got CUT during the holidays and I suspect the store may go out of business and I do not want to still work there when it does. (Even though I would LOVE to watch it burn) The harsh reality is that I need a new job. I just have absolutely no faith that I can find anything much better than my current job. I expect the most I'll find is part-time of 20-30 hours per week, which is still better than 3-6 every other week, but I truly need a full-time job. Which will not happen.

Posted by admin Rodney.

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jimblejamblewritings · 1 year

Note

i saw you were asking for hurt/comfort requests

Could you do a Sirius black x poc reader where they’re married and she finds out Bellatrix killed him and like Harry comforting her and her doing the same,maybe her even sharing story’s of their past.

thank you🫶🏾

Hi! So it's the way this isn't a one-shot once I started writing this lol. I'm warning you I'm a sucker for happy endings so this will kind of go off the rails a bit.

I'll Always Come Back

Summary: It doesn't matter what happens in life. Sirius always comes back.

Warnings for the Series: violence, character death

Pairing: sirius black x reader, sirius black x black!reader

Word Count: 3.8k

“Mrs. Black, we cann—”

“Like hell. I won’t allow my godson to be with them any longer!” you yelled at Fudge. “I agreed to not contact him until he was a wizard and the first thing I find out is he lives in an abusive household.”

“But Petunia is Lily’s family, the magic extends to her blood for Lily’s protection spell.”

“No one has found Grimmauld in years. Moony and I have lived there with no problem.”

Barty Crouch Sr. scoffed. “You still visit your husband.”

“Because he’s innocent.”

“Mrs. Bl—”

“He is. And if you want to argue with me, Mr. Crouch, you’ll use my proper title. The Black Household is still one of the most prestigious households to date.”

“Fine. Lady Black, You’ve been saying that for eleven years.”

“We just need a case you can’t ignore. We’ll be ready for trial soon.”

“La—”

“Barty. You locked him up without a trial, I haven’t forgotten that. That’s enough to get him out of jail and get you fired. We want his name cleared too, that’s the only reason you still have a job. Don’t try me.”

Barty turned and sat back down. The Ministry members looked at your custody papers and the clause where you agreed to give Harry to the Dursleys unless he turned out to be a wizard. They could only keep custody if you didn’t want him, they really wanted him, or you were in no position to take care of a child.

Eleven years and you lived in the same house. Grimmauld never had an encounter with Death Eaters or Voldemort himself. You had all of Sirius’ money, not to mention your own job. A wizard bakery on a muggle street made a lot more money than people might think. Why wouldn’t it? After filling out an application, the Ministry approved of your business using magic in the presence of muggles. The Lady’s Bakery not only made the most delicious treats around but people felt literally sucked into books. Of course, muggles didn’t realize that they actually were. But every review that stated reading books just felt better in your bakery was an extra customer the next day.

Plus you were in charge of managing Lily and James’ funds for Harry until he was of age. So you had the funds to take care of a child. You weren’t letting this go without a fight. The Ministry realized they weren’t going to win and reluctantly agreed to let you take Harry. You weren’t the problem. It was your connection to Sirius Black that was. You maintained your husband was innocent. That made them concerned about Harry being near you, Sirius might use your naivety to get to Harry and finish the job of killing the Potters.

“Thank you,” you said with a sigh. “I won’t be informing the Dursleys, someone can do that on my behalf. I might hurt them if I see them. You said Harry was where again?”

You coughed as you exited the fireplace. The Weasleys’ must use their fireplace quite a lot or you came before it had been cleaned for the week. Multiple redheads stared at you in surprise. The letter from Fudge came only moments after you in the form of a Howler.

Harry’s mouth slowly dropped open as the letter continued. You stood there awkwardly as Fudge tried to convince Harry to say no. He mentioned Sirius’ supposed crimes more than once. The boy thought. He remembered the photo album that Hagrid gave him towards the end of first year. There were lots of pictures of his parents. But, there were also pictures of the Potters’ friends.

Harry already knew about Sirius when he asked Professor McGonagall if she had known all the people in one of the pictures. She told him rather reluctantly about Sirius and very enthusiastically about you. Sure, Harry didn’t understand how his godfather could be innocent— McGonagall’s story was good enough proof for him— but he didn’t think you were a bad person for thinking so. Wasn’t that what couples did anyway? See the best in each other until there’s absolute proof.

He liked you. He liked hearing all the stories McGonagall had of you. You had taken care of Lily the entire time she was pregnant, after scolding James for not using protection. Honestly, everyone thought you and Sirius would be the accidental pregnancy of the group. James forgetting protection was expected. But Lily not remembering was an absolute shock. You took every opportunity up until her birth to make fun of her for it. Even after Harry was born, you were always around. You took your duties as godmother very seriously.

You smiled when Harry agreed even after hearing Fudge’s letter. Mr. Weasley ushered you over to the table to have breakfast with the rest of them. While you enjoyed the food, you were all about business. Harry looked over the document folder you handed him. It held all the legal documents regarding your custody and what that entails.

“Oh,” you said after taking another bite of bacon. “I have this for you.”

“What is it?” Harry asked as he took the bundle of letters.

“Lily got a little carried away with parenting books at the beginning. She made James write a bunch of letters with her throughout the pregnancy. Two letters for your birthday until you're an adult. She went with muggle age instead of wizard age so you’ll have eighteen sets of letters instead of seventeen.”

Harry stuttered through a thank you. His fingers ran over the ink on the envelope. The difference in his mom and dad’s handwriting was pretty obvious on the letters. He wasn’t ready to open them yet but he was just happy to have them. And now he had something to look forward to on his birthdays, more letters.

“Have you bought your supplies yet?”

“We were all going after breakfast,” Mrs. Weasley said.

You nodded. “Perfect. Polaris is running the bakery for me all day so I can come with you… If that’s okay?”

You weren’t sure what was pushy or not. Harry wanted to live with you but neither one of you really knew each other yet so you didn’t want to be overbearing. You went with everyone to the fireplace to head to Diagon Alley. Your mouth dropped open when it was Harry’s turn. Whatever he said, it definitely wasn’t Diagon Alley. A huff left your mouth when you finally found him being led out of Knockturn Alley by Hagrid. Your godson was going to be a handful.

“Textbooks first,” Mrs. Weasley said. You agreed.

Harry handed you the shopping list. You couldn’t help the eye roll when you saw who the books were by. Each one for Defense Against the Dark Arts was by Gilderoy Lockhart. You remembered him in school. You took a deep breath and braced yourself for entering the bookstore. Most of the women and some of the men were swooning over the blonde wizard in light blue robes.

The only people that weren’t entranced with him were the people not attracted to men and you. You shook your head as Harry’s friend, Hermione, was swooning with who you could only assume was another Hogwarts student. Oh, if only they knew the man.

You watched Gilderoy smile at every single camera and talk about himself. The main photographer, who you could only assume was hired by Lockhart himself, kept shoving people out of the way. You looked down in annoyance when he pushed Ron into you. The children just wanted their textbooks. There was no need for him to be rude.

“Out of the way. This is for the Daily Prophet!”

Lockhart looked up from the book he was signing. A large smile broke out when his eyes locked on Harry.

“Here we go,” you muttered under your breath.

Gilderoy practically ran around the table to reach Harry. He shook your godson’s hand rather aggressively. He posed for pictures and reveled in the applause that got even louder in the bookstore. You watched with disinterest as he went on a speech about giving the textbooks to Harry for free and signed. You already knew that you would actually buy the books and give the free ones to the Weasleys. You didn’t know much about them but when you guys had gone to get Ginny’s wand, they had been concerned about the cost.

“Enjoy those books, Potter. Have a gr— Y/N.” Lockhart dropped his hold on Harry’s hand. He slicked back his hair and got closer to you. “I feel like I haven’t seen you in forever.”

“Because you haven’t. Let’s go, Harry.”

“Wait, wait.” Gilderoy grabbed your arm. “Let’s go on a date, this Saturday. I’ll le—”

“Gilderoy. I’m still married.”

“Oh, please. You two didn’t even have a proper wedding and he’s a criminal.”

You ripped your arm from his grasp. “Sirius is innocent. And may I remind you that you and I have been over for years. You broke up with me. Remember?”

You guided Harry and the others out the store before Gilderoy could say another word. You were in such a rush that you didn’t even have a response to Lucius who sneered at you as you walked past. The rest of shopping went by smoothly. You stopped right in front of the Public Floo Network and turned to face your godson.

“There’s only a few weeks of summer left. If you want to stay with your friends, you can,” You said, scratching the back of your head.

“Can Ron and Hermione come over?”

“Yeah, kid.”

“Then I think I want to go with you.”

“Okay. Let’s send your stuff home and then we can go.”

Harry had no clue where he was going after you two left the Burrow. You could have taken the Floo right back to your house but you thought it was important for him to know how to get to it on the street. His mouth dropped open as the veiling charm disappeared and he saw a door appear between 11 and 13 Grimmauld. You couldn’t help but chuckle.

You remembered having that exact expression the very first time you showed up to Grimmauld. Both you and Harry held your ears as a portrait started screaming. You apologized while covering it back up. You had never figured out how to unstick Walburga’s painting from the foyer. All her moving sometimes opened the curtain that kept her covered up.

“Moony!” You yelled into the house as you took off your shoes. “The kid’s here!”

A lanky man that towered over literally everyone he met came downstairs. His slipper covered feet shuffled across the floor and met you just as you and Harry reached the living room. Cup of tea in one hand, he gave you a sideways hug before giving you a kiss on the cheek. Harry looked a bit confused while Remus just laughed. You and him were childhood friends. Cheek kisses meant absolutely nothing between the two of you.

“Harry’s here?” a voice from upstairs called.

Quick footsteps thudded down the stairs. Regulus was putting up his wet hair in a bun before giving you a hug. You and Regulus had grown to have a decent relationship. It took a while and a lot of yelling on Sirius’ end but the younger Black brother had changed into a good person. He even came over once a week to help clean the house, especially taking care of everything when it was a Moony Night.

“Reg! When did you get here?”

“Not too long ago. I’ve been clearing out my old room for Harry.”

“Are you sta— Reg, is that cologne? Merlin, do you have a date?”

He rolled his eyes. “I figured it was time to try again. I got tired of being a pitiful divorcee.”

Despite having his own flat, Regulus was over constantly. By that extension, Kreacher was over almost all the time. The little house elf appeared. Harry was very reluctant to take his hand, not enjoying house elves after his meeting with Dobby. Kreacher didn’t care and led him up to his new room. He had only been there for a few minutes but Harry already felt like Grimmauld was better than the Dursleys. He had his own room to start with… and it only had a lock on the inside.

“Alright. Time to go.”

Harry shoved his trunks into the fireplace and watched them disappear. While he was excited to go back to school, he was actually going to miss Grimmauld. The few weeks he had been there were amazing. You counted that he had all his trunks before continuing towards the platforms at King’s Cross Station. You, Remus, and Regulus gave Harry hugs before leaving him with the Weasleys so he could get on the train.

The three of you went in your own directions. Regulus had his own job to get to. Beauxbatons was starting school on the same day that Hogwarts did so he could only spare so many minutes. He initially ran to France because he had to go into hiding after switching sides. Nowadays, he stayed because he liked it and had a nice job.

Remus, stubborn as ever, refused to let you hire him and struggled to keep up various jobs. It was unfair. He was the most brilliant person you knew and being a werewolf never stopped him from working. While he was stubborn about jobs, at least he didn’t complain when you refused to let him live in a rundown house. Remus had saved enough money for a house a while ago but without Sirius around he decided to stay at Grimmauld for you. It felt wrong to leave you alone in the big house.

You had to get in to open the bakery for the day. Your days were rather monotonous but you liked it. You would prep the bakery, then sit at the window counter and try to put together a waterproof case for Sirius, only getting up when you needed to serve customers. With a flick of your wand, the batters started stirring. You attached your buzzer— so you would know if a customer needed you— to your jeans and moved to sit at the counter.

It was a rather slow morning, only having a few customers come through. You set down the bacon and egg panini as well as a cup of Purple Lotus tea in front of the customer. He was the only one who hadn’t ordered to go, sitting down two seats away from you at the counter. He looked over when you sighed.

“Tough morning?”

“Sorry. I’m working on a case and it is seeming impossible.”

The man sat up. “A case? Law?”

“Yeah.”

“I’m actually a lawyer.”

You almost fell out of your chair. Not a single lawyer in the wizarding world had wanted to take Sirius’ case no matter how much money you offered them. You didn’t trust a Ministry assigned lawyer either. So you had gone back to school. No one in your grade got much of a higher education considering there was a war. But when you weren’t helping the Order, you did take culinary lessons because you always wanted to run a bakery. After your husband was arrested, you started studying law on your own. You had even gone to some classes for it but quickly left when none of them covered your situation. Sirius didn’t mind you studying when you came to visit him. As long as he could see someone, he didn’t care what they talked about.

You raised an eyebrow. “I don’t suppose you know who Sirius Black is, do you?”

“Who?”

The man had to be a muggle. You sighed. “Nevermind. I don’t think I could possibly explain it to you.”

“Try me.”

You looked around. This was breaking the Statue of Secrecy on so many levels. At the same time, if it could help Sirius then you would do it. You locked the door to the bakery and put up the closed sign before pulling out your wand. The lawyer— Ben— looked in awe as you pulled out your wand and performed magic. It didn’t take very long to convince him. You tucked your wand back into your sleeve.

“I am going to have to obliviate you when this is all over.”

Ben shrugged. “This is still the coolest thing ever.”

“Okay. I mean I won’t if you don’t consent to that.” You moved over to sit closer to him. “This is Sirius… my husband.”

Ben took in a breath.

“I know. He’s, uh, he’s in jail for murder. But he’s innocent,” you added quickly.

“How many counts?”

“Thirteen.”

“Are you sure he’s innocent because this is an uphill battle?”

“He is. I know it.”

“Okay. Let me see the trial papers. We’ll start from there.”

“There are none.”

Ben was appalled to hear about the lack of trial. He became more invested as you told him everything. You had just given Harry back to Lily so she and James could leave for the night. Ever since they went into hiding, they only came to your house. You had never been to their place. Not once. Sirius had been gone the entire day on Order missions. Remus was gone too because it was a Moony Night. You gave a final wave to your friends and your godson before closing the door to Grimmauld.

It was early in the morning when there was lots of knocking on your door. You had been so confused when Dumbledore shoved Harry into your arms. Sleep-deprived and scared was how you found out your best friends had just died. You had no clue what Dumbledore meant when he asked you to notify him as soon as Sirius got home. You never got the chance to find out. Three days later, Aurors stormed your bakery and took your godson away from you.

“What you need is something to prove innocence. Even the smallest piece of information would clear him with a case this extreme,” Ben said as he packed up to head over to his office. “I’ll be by whenever I’m free to help you until it’s solved.”

“Thank you so much.”

“Not a problem. Solving a wizard case is the peak of my career, even if no one else knows about it.”

The man left without another word. You packed up the case file and went back to work. The entire time you were thinking about how you could find evidence. Sirius had told you about that night more times than you could count. There was no evidence that wasn’t anecdotal. It was all that was on your mind, even as you closed up the shop. You blinked as a letter hit you in the face when you got home.

“Leave my child alone, Severus!” You said as you marched into his office.

“Mr. Potter isn’t your child.”

“I’m his legal guardian and you’re testing my patience.”

You and Severus were cut off by McGonagall coming in. You took Harry’s face in your hands, looking at him and Ron with so much concern in your eyes.

“Are you two okay?”

They nodded.

“Good. What were you possibly thinking? Why didn’t you come home? Send a letter?”

Harry scratched at his face. “I guess we panicked. I didn’t really think of that.”

You sighed and turned him over to McGonagall. So Harry wasn’t just similar to James in looks but also dumbass personality. While you were mortified, Sirius was laughing when you told him the story. Every Sunday, you were at Azkaban. You frowned as you looked at your husband.

“You’re even thinner than last month.”

“Love, I promise I’m eating everything they give me.”

“It’s not enough.”

“Stop worrying about me. How are you?”

“The same as ever. I’m a very routine person you know.”

He chuckled and nodded. The year was pleasant for Sirius but not for you. He got life from hearing you read the letters that Harry sent to you. You just got more upset at not finding a single bit of evidence to support your husband. Sirius clapped as you stood up after you told him why you had to leave early.

“Always knew teaching suited Moons.”

“He’s worried out of his mind. Harry kept offering all summer to be a practice student but that just made him more nervous.”

“Tell them I said hi.”

“I will. I love you.”

“Love you too.”

It broke your heart when it was time to leave. You never told the others that Sirius thought of them. They still thought he was guilty. Or they were unsure of his innocence and didn’t want to set themselves up to be disappointed. So you said nothing when you made it to Platform 9 and ¾ and found Harry and Remus. You gave them both hugs.

“Rem, I put the first supply in your trunk. I’ll send more before your nights each month.”

“Thank you, Y/N.”

“Harry, dear, try not to get in trouble this year.”

“It always finds me.”

“Harry.”

“Alright, alright. I promise I’ll try, Mum.”

You both paused. It was the first time he ever called you by anything and you certainly weren’t expecting him to say that. It had taken Harry all of four weeks to call Remus ‘Uncle’ when he first came to live with you. He still hadn’t called you anything. Harry had been trying to process it on his own. He wanted to know how he felt about you. Mum just felt right. He gave you one final hug before boarding the train.

Harry’s promise of keeping out of trouble lasted all of three seconds. You didn’t understand how it was possible to get detention before the second month was even over. It was supposed to be a calm year. Harry was supposed to go to Hogsmeade with his friends, do homework, and have fun.

Remus came back home late one night. He shook his head as he exited the fireplace, holding up a piece of folded up parchment.

“You won’t believe what I just busted your son for having.”

You set down your book. “Rem, aren’t you on chaperone duties? It’s midnight. Merlin, it’s midnight. Was he out of bed?”

“Yep,” Remus said, popping the ‘p’. He placed the parchment in your hand. “I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.”

You scoffed as Remus left. James had hidden the map in a library book that was never checked out when you guys had graduated. There was no need for it since it only showed Hogwarts. How Harry managed to come across it was beyond you. For old times sake you laid out the entire map across the coffee table. You were shocked it still worked. You found Remus heading back to his room.

The map even had Harry’s name. So it did actually update itself. James and Sirius were brilliant at Charms but to create an enchantment like this was actually amazing. You started to fold the map back when a name caught your eye. You jumped off of the couch and pulled the map to your face. Peter Pettigrew’s name was staring right back at you.

(part 2)

PERMANENT TAGLIST:

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#sirius black x reader #sirius black x black!reader #my asks #my requests

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disappearinginq · 2 months

Note

I’m so excited you like Steve Crain too! He’s been a favorite character of mine for years at this point, and doesn’t deserve the hate he gets.

It bothers me when people don’t recognize the responsibility that weighs on characters. They essentially lost both of their parents at the same time, and you know Steve had to be the one to step up.

This isn’t just applicable to Haunting of Hill House, of course. But I’ve noticed that fans vilify the characters that aren’t victimized as obviously / aren’t the main character.

Anyways, just wanted to share with a fellow Steve-enjoyed lol

New Bestie - same. I got into a very heated discussion about how if the Crain siblings are supposed to represent the 5 stages of grief, the fandom has Steve and Shirley switched around, because everyone says that Steve is Denial and Shirley is Bargaining.

Meanwhile, in the show, Steve spends his adult life going around not necessarily trying to debunk ghosts, but hoping that maybe this time, it will be ghosts, because then maybe his family will just be a different kind of crazy. He says his mom and his sister are sick, and they needed help. He reminds me more of Fox Mulder - the "I want to believe" vibe. But he also is in the unique position of seeing ghosts and not knowing about it. All of his ghosts are people with jobs, moving around the house like normal people. Everyone hears the dogs at night, not just him. He doesn't hear banging on the walls, he doesn't see creepy zombies in the basement, he doesn't have his future self freaking the hell out of him his entire life. He sees his mom - and as far as he's concerned (because this is a horror show, not supernatural, the world he occupies is the one we're in - no vampires and ghosts, etc, and that is Understood) it's just the mental illness that has gone through his whole family finally catching up with him. Anyone in this world who has a family member swear they're being stalked by a faceless ghost while they're high on drugs is going to come to same conclusion Steve does, which is that they're nuts. BUT - he looks for any signs that he is wrong. And I'm still mad that they cut out part of the first episode that has Steve refusing to write about his family anymore, no matter the price, while driving by an accident where he sees multiple people standing around, but when he turns away and the camera is the only one on the accident, you only see the firefighters/first responders.

Meanwhile, Shirley is 100% in denial about everything, including what her own ghosts were. In her House Nightmare at the end, she even denies what actually happened - in her version, she doesn't have an affair. The House actually calls her out on "But that's not what happened, is it?" When Steve is doing CPR on his dying brother, Shirley's first words are "This isn't real". She denies Luke from going to Nell's wedding. She denies that their mother had anything wrong with her, she's in denial that she's running her own business into the ground, she's in denial about the death of the kittens, she's in denial about ghosts too - even though she has much more explicit contact with them with the knocking, and with a witness both times (Theo). She's in denial about the night that they had to flee Hill House. Like if she says it often enough, then it will be true that her family is fine and nothing is wrong.

Sorry. Long rant. But I love this character and this show so much and no one ever wants to talk about it (except @amandagaelic, and she has listened to me for literally hours at this point). One of these days, I will actually finish the Haunting of Hill House fic I have, and it will be posted.

We might all be dead from old age, or so senile we don't even remember the source material, but I'll stipulate in my will that it has to be posted. :-D

AND YES - people have a weird habit of like...picking one character to defend and that's the end of it. No one else can do any right and that character can do no wrong. I see it in Yellowstone fandom a lot. Or in Marvel (the Steve/Tony argument made me leave it altogether). I don't know if it's because fandoms are now predominantly younger, louder/more obnoxious from the safety net of internet anonymity or what, but Seeing Things from Someone Else's Point of View seems to be a lost art in both media and reality.

#thank you for coming to my TED talk #about haunted houses #and how people don't understand characters #I will talk to anyone who wants to discuss Steven Crain #Steven Crain my beloved #the poor older sibling who is the only one who actually wants to address issues #versus sweep them under the rug or just ignore them #and that poor baby unravels FAST after he sees Nell morph in front of him from his sister to a ghost #and I have a theory that's how Steven sees the supernatural #like it's everyday things until someone tells him otherwise #because Nell didn't change until his father told him she was dead #and as reality sunk in Nell morphed #and never looked human again #steven crain #haunting of hill house

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misc-obeyme · 1 month

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hi CC! this is about something that seems to plague me in fandoms everywhere; a fundamental misunderstanding and application of the word yandere to any character who's vaguely sinister or clingy.

This is in regards to Barbatos, who I've regularly seen being called yandere but haven't seen any evidence so far of it. He seems to be neither the possessive or obsessive type. Some of the brothers have more yandere tendencies than Barbatos does, from what I can tell. So why does he get painted that way?

He's not poisoning people for talking to MC or getting ready to hurt anyone, and he's not stalking or stealing MCs things to be close to them. He seems to be generally chill and friendly.

Yes he has a torture chamber but that's not a yandere trait or even related to being yandere. That's like, a part of his job at the palace. He's loyal to Diavolo but it's still not encroaching on yandere territory.

I'm frankly having trouble wrapping my mind around it. What am I missing?

(I recommend anyone who is confused about this to take a few minutes to look up the term and see how it applies to fictional characters)

Hi there, anon!

I personally don't think Barbatos is yandere at all.

I have to admit that before getting into the Obey Me fandom, I wasn't super familiar with the term yandere. (I knew about tsundere, but yandere was a new one for me.) So I had to look it up a few times, just to make sure I was understanding what it meant. Since people were applying it to a bunch of characters and I was getting confused.

My understanding of the word is that it's a character who is obsessed with their love interest to the point where they will do intense things to be with them, such as kidnapping them and keeping them locked up. Or as you mentioned, stealing their things and stalking them. Like they are so devoted they might get violent about it. They're possessive in a way that's like... not healthy lol.

I don't really think any of the Obey Me characters fit this definition. Sure we get them threatening MC sometimes, but it isn't because of their love for MC. It's usually because they're trying to protect something or they're upset about something.

I read somewhere that Belphie was supposed to be yandere, but they changed his character. He kinda gets just barely on the edge of that in Nightbringer when he has his little episode. It was like the attic came into being just because he wanted a place to lock up MC.

But other than that? I wouldn't apply the term to any of them.

I'm not sure what it is about Barbatos that would make anyone think he's yandere. He certainly isn't in canon.

I can definitely see how easy it would be to take what we know about Barbatos in canon and make him yandere. I mean, there's a lot of stuff about him that we don't know. You could write a whole fanfic about how he's the mastermind pulling the strings all along and the whole reason was just so he could be with MC or some such thing.

But really you could do that with any character?

Honestly, anon, I'm with you on this one. If you're missing something, I'm afraid I must be missing it, too. I've always read Barbatos as a calm, quiet character. Smart and knows more than he lets on, but not in a creepy stalker kinda way. Just in an observant, intelligent kinda way.

If anyone else has any insight into this, please feel free to share! This is just my interpretation!

#I don't know if I helped with this at all #but I don't get it either lol #obey me #obey me nightbringer #obey me barbatos #anon asks #misc answers

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donnerpartyofone · 11 months

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Sometimes life takes on the thematic consistency of a movie, and this is always thrilling even if you know intellectually that all of your impulses and machinations have to come from the same subconscious place.

At the beginning of the week I saw an interesting horoscope prompt to write an obituary for your past self and bury it in the ground. I decided to do this, perhaps because I have been burning for change for several years now on a level that has been making me much more insane than I already am. I thought it would feel forced and pretentious to write the obit, but it was really easy, particularly easy to see what the "past self" consists of when I notice all the things I do now that I couldn't before. It was a good feeling, that it was so obvious to me what to write. I buried it where we spread our lizard's ashes, a place where there is a view of the Statue of Liberty. Sometimes I hang around there and analyze what "liberty" means to me in a culture where we often take it for granted as a foundational principle, even though this isn't very true in practice.

It happened to be the summer solstice. On midsummer's eve I had been strangely full of energy. Someone posted a section of coptic midnight praise music, so I got out of bed and listened to that on repeat for about an hour before getting two or three hours of sleep. I woke up around dawn feeling refreshed and experienced no fatigue for the rest of the day. Then I did the writing, and the burial. Oddly (or not), I would spend the next two days finally-finalizing my married name change on every outstanding account. Becoming a different person.

In the night I'd found myself looking at pictures of snakes, my favorite animal since childhood. In the morning I vaguely remembered something having to do with snakes and midsummer; in fact there is a Lithuanian grass snake entity that is supposed to protect the home and bring good fortune, and it is connected with a sun goddess who is naturally celebrated on the solstice. I even remembered that I had some Zaltys-themed perfume in my collection, so I dug that out and enjoyed it, a sunny and snakey smell. My seemingly random snake meditation was well-timed, not only calendrically but because my husband and I have been desperately searching for a new home. We got one the next day.

In less than 24 hours, we viewed an apartment in our (really MY let's be honest) favorite neighborhood, applied to lease it, and were accepted. Of course nothing with me is ever as cut and dried as that, and in reality it took several hours to get my application materials together and do banking bullshit and just stop fucking everything up. I started a post yesterday detailing all this, but now I'm too exhausted to fix it up and post it. Suffice it to say that almost every adult activity is almost Too Hard for me, I wish I understood the world better and I really do try but it's beyond my intellectual functioning, but every time I have to take care of some administrative nonsense I'm like a goldfish passing the same plastic castle like it's brand new. Sometimes it feels like everything I do is the hardest thing I've ever done, and my only source of pride is the willingness to keep doing it.

The apartment is only slightly too expensive, which we will trade for slightly more space in a much nicer neighborhood. We've been sitting on each other's heads in a hilariously small place surrounded by toxic waste (literally) for ten years, and in the last few years it began to feel like something that was holding us back, as people, in life. Like I needed so many things to change about my health, my job situation, my daily routines, my worldly possessions, and it just didn't feel possible for anything to shift in this little place that seemed to be shrinking every day. I became convinced that moving house would trigger all of the other changes, no matter how unrelated they might appear, and I still think this may prove true.

It may not be surprising that I started going to church during this time of constriction, when I could only expand my mind. I find it easy to love the intense fetishism of Catholicism, and its enormous pantheon of different guys with different attributes. It's got more guys than GI Joe, all with cool little backstories. Somewhere I read that you can bother St. Joseph for domestic needs. He is a guy who we know very little about, which is curious because the holy family is such a big deal; it seems that he died sometime before Jesus turned water into wine, but no one knows how. There is an incredible statue of him in Star of the Sea that is epically sad and exhausted-looking, I need to get a picture of him. I actually said a novena to Joseph for the new apartment...so now I guess I'm on the hook! Good thing I confused things by also asking my favor of the Lithuanian snake entity, so I don't have to just become a fanatical Catholic. I'll have to make a little joint altar in the new place for Joseph and the serpent.

While I was changing my name on the last bank account down in the financial district, my husband texted me to say we got the apartment. It was about an hour after we submitted our application. When I stepped outside, I realized I was around the corner from St. Paul's Chapel on Broadway, an ancient-feeling place surrounded by modern steel and concrete and glass. The cemetery that wraps around the building has a view of the Oculus, which presents an extremely strange view that I couldn't get a representative photo of, so all these exteriors are stolen and you'll have to try to imagine what I mean. I did go in, though. The atmosphere is very powerful, a center of oldness and spirit and allegorical thought in the center of this futuristic business orgy. I think that I'd like to be wealthy because of course that's what everyone wants, but also because it would increase my ability to be helpful and contribute to changes I want to see around me. I thought about this while I put some money in the offering slot and lit a candle.

In esoteric thought there is something called an egregore, which is sort of like a large-scale tulpa, an entity that arises from people's collective mental and emotional investment in it; Wall Street has an egregore, and the NFL, and Broadway, and Disney, and so on. St. Paul's Chapel does a great job of announcing itself as the seat of the egregore of New York City. I regret that I couldn't get a picture of this painting without the glare in the middle, although that does add a certain amount of drama. But anyway here we are, back to the concept of Liberty. Here's hoping the new apartment brings lots and lots of growth and change.

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mpregcatboyshin · 9 months

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here's a wip thing for wip wednesday. someone i know does these things every wednesday so i decided why not try to do the same. here's something ive kept in the drafts for a while but ive picked up on writing again.

Shin Tsukimi x Reader under the cut

"Is that any way to treat your customers?" You replied, stalking over to the counter. He was leaning over it, his phone flat against the surface with some random mecha game on. "You're not even doing your job either."

"I thought I told you to stop coming to see me at work," he said, looking back down at his game. You watched as he tapped on a few different things, swiping through different characters. It was kind of cute how lame his interests were.

"When else am I supposed to see you?" You said, leaning over the counter and getting into his space, pretending you were interested in his game. "It's not like you have your own place I can go to."

That seemed to strike a nerve with him, if the way he raised his head and glared at you meant anything. You just smiled sweetly, because in the end you both knew you were right.

He sighed, grabbing his phone and turning it off before stuffing it into his back pocket. He pulled away from you and straightened himself out, huffing in annoyance.

"What do you want? Just come to annoy me?" He looked over the small display next to the counter, shuffling the small candies around like he was fixing them up. You grabbed one and placed it on the counter.

"Hm maybe," you said, spinning the candy around and pushing it toward him. "My friend had her club today and I didn't feel like sticking around. I got bored standing by the gate, so I wanted to come see what you were up to."

"Is that really it?" He snatched the candy from the counter, stuffing it between all the other ones on the tiny shelf display. The second he placed it back you picked it back up and put it on the counter, along with a few others. He sighed to himself, watching as you picked apart the display he had so graciously put together.

"I mean, there is something I want to do," you replied, eyeing all the colorful wrappers carefully. The red and white soft fruit chews would make a good snack for later. You slipped a few up the sleeve of your sweater. "When do you get off your shift?"

Shin's eyes move from your sleeve back up to your face. You keep your expression even, as his eyes flicker back down to your sleeve once more. He looks back up and his eyes seem more tired than before.

"Eight. Can you put those back, please?" He says, picking up the ones you'd spread over the counter and putting them back in their place. "Stealing wouldn't look good on your college application."

"Like you would know about that," you retort, and he visibly stiffens. You laugh as he scowls, putting the candies back away a bit faster. You open a pocket on your messenger bag, letting the candies from your sleeve slide down into it.

"Besides," you breathe, letting your voice lower to a whisper, "I wouldn't be the one getting into trouble."

Shin freezes. His head turns slowly towards you, mouth pressed into a thin line. You can practically see him shaking with anger, and the thought of him lashing out almost makes you want to laugh. You want to see him seethe, you want him to call you out. Hear his speech get funny as he gets upset. Though it seems like he might be too tired for that today. He visibly deflates, letting out a long sigh as the fire dies in his eyes.

"Just go home already," he says. "I don't want to do this right now."

"Aw, what's wrong?" You mock sympathy. "Having a bad shift? Let's take a break."

"No, no it's not," he shook his head, suddenly exacerbated. "We shouldn't. Just go home already. I'm not in the mood."

"Oh come on, you'll enjoy it. I've literally been waiting all day just to see you," you say, leaning in a bit closer again. He turns away from you a bit, but he doesn't move back. "I don't even come to see you that often, and I know I'm the only real friend you have. Don't you get lonely sometimes?"

"You think insulting me is going to make me want to have sex with you?" He bites back, turning to face you. That's the Shin you were looking for. "I know what you're doing and I'm not falling for it again."

You lean up against the counter, bringing your hands up around his shoulders. He gasps as you wrap your arms around his neck and pull his face closer to yours. Your hands play with his hair, rough and damaged from multiple bad dyes. The turquoise looks good on him at least.

"Hm, but you already have, haven't you?" You whisper. He's staring intently at you, a blush rising to his cheeks. You can practically hear his heart beating out of his chest. "You could stop me if you really wanted to. If you really tried, this would all have been over weeks ago."

His breathe is hot on your face. It smells like cheap ramen. Your lips are so close to his that even just the slightest movement forward and you'd be kissing. But you knew better to give him that now. You didn't want to do it here either.

"I'll let you choose the pack this time."

#shin tsukimi #yttd #your turn to die #sou hiyori #shin tsukimi x reader #x reader #fanfiction #fanfic #first draft #there's a lot more i have this is just an excerpt #shin meows

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strangebiology · 1 year

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10 Years on Tumblr!

This is the 10th anniversary of this blog. I've got a count of 65,000 followers, but I'm sure much fewer people are actually here. Still, I'm happy to get some engagement!

I started this blog because I had applied to an internship with Huffington Post's Crime and Weird News, and the interviewer asked if I had a blog. I figured, why don't I have one if I'm supposed to be a professional journalist, and lots of people have blogs?

I had a lot of fun writing about what I wanted to write about, having been trained with a degree in journalism that focused a lot on stuff I wasn't interested in ("Community Meeting About Pothole on Third Avenue," etc). But man, did it ever start flowing when I could focus on animals and bones and stuff!

So I got a master's in Science Journalism at Boston University, then interned at National Geographic, then freelanced for them, did a fellowship at PBS Newshour, took a job at Newsweek, then a bunch of other little things, then Bay Nature Magazine. You can see some of my writing here.

Social media has always been part of my career. I think that this blog helped me stand out on my application to Nat Geo and launched me into that. Then at PBS Newshour I was a Science and Social Media News Assistant, then at both Newsweek and Bay Nature, I really improved the social media presence of our content. (Among other things, I did @newsweekscience 's Tumblr and Bay Nature's TikTok). I have a list of my social media accounts in this pinned post.

In 2018 I pitched a book called Carcass to MIT Press, and they were interested, but that kind of went to the back burner in the craziness of that time. In 2020 I started a Tiktok (RollBones) which now has more than 190,000 followers. Then in 2022 I revisited the book, got an agent, and now I have a $50k advance book deal with MIT Press. Carcass (@carcassafterlives) should be out in the spring of 2025.

Thanks for sticking around!

#tumblr milestone #tumblr anniversary #10 year tumblrversary #social media #Journalism career

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wikifuck · 1 month

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You aren't a monolith

I know my ADHD ass needed this reminder, so maybe one of you needed it too: just because all the professionals say that the only way to be taken seriously is to write every day, and to write actual words and not just notes. Just because they say you need to force yourself to finish a project in one go to get anything done doesn't mean that that is true. Just because they are published doesn't mean they know what they are talking about.

I have ADHD, which means I can't force myself to stay on one thing until it's finished. My brain works in cycles, usually, I write fantasy, sometimes I write sci-fi, rarer than that is celebrity drama and rarely it's horror. I can't force myself to write outside of my current mood because if I do, I'm not having fun and the text is dogshit, so I might as well have not written anything at all and I would have paradoxically been more productive!

I'm currently experimenting with a style where I have a WIP to represent each of my moods and I will work on each WIP when that mood comes. I shall report back once the results are in.

Forgotten

So, I have been quiet about my last WIP bc I have been struggling with it. I have been slogging along, writing daily for months, but last week I gave up because it was too painful. I then started a project with a friend where we randomized everything.

It's about a polycule, where the POV character is like an edgy Robin Hood who starts dating their childhood friends, Cruella Devil the tattoo artist, and a scarred war veteran who is a golden retriever in human form. The tone is light and "childish." (We randomized children's literature as one of the genres)

This reminded me that writing, it turns out, is supposed to be fun! Shocking, right?

This is the reason I'm not currently pursuing getting published even tho I wish to do so; I started treating writing as if it were my job even though it's just my hobby. (The avalanche of writing advice only applicable to neurotypical writers didn't help)

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crush-zombie · 8 months

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Where I am in life? Things that have happened. The continuing circus of the wild west of my existence. It's a long post ;

I lived in Ontario for three years, from 2018 to 2022, in a couple of places.

The friend I was supposed to move in with, to ease my spiralling depression, backed out at the last moment with threats. The "you're lucky I'm not around or I'd beat your ass" kind of threats, because I refused to give up and let despair engulf me.

I ended up in the basement of a friend of my mother's for a year. For apartment-finding (and legal) reasons I had my sister (and her partner) come as well, and after a year of searching and filling out applications the three of us got kicked out. We stayed in the woods by a highway for a week before getting sent to a homeless shelter.

2 months there was bad. The details probably aren't necessary, but it was dehumanizing.

After that we ended up in one of Canada's "hot spots" for Covid when the pandemic broke out. It took about a month there before my sister's partner started (continuing to) abuse me. My sister didn't care. My illness(es) had been intensifying all throughout those years, but they really hit a fever pitch at this time. I spent a lot of time gasping on the floor.

Along with my illness(es), during all this time I was struggling with suicidal feelings and urges. That's why I moved to Ontario to begin with-- I hoped things would be better there somehow, like a complete idiot ;

After threats from my sister and her partner a friend back in Newfoundland offered me an out. I returned, tail between my legs and my dog, who I dragged through all this chaos, was getting so old he can barely walk. My energy was so, so low and I put just about all of it into caring for him.

About 6 months into living with my friend she unloaded all her issues with me (that I studied like a motherfucker, because I am and always am convinced that I'm the problem in everything)-- that I eat too much, I don't clean the house enough, I'm "disrespectful" (conversely another friend often tells me I'm "too polite"), I "over parent" her daughter (this still confuses me), that she didn't believe I was disabled, that covering for my old, sickly dog was disgusting. I spiralled very hard, and got brought out to the dining room table to be told all the things I should be doing and what I was doing wrong. Immediately afterwards I started planning my suicide. My dearest (internet) friend kept me from death, but in its place I started developing an eating disorder, eating nothing but one meal a day (which sometimes didn't happen) and being nearly bedbound with hunger and exhaustion every day. I started cleaning the house, sweeping, tidying, doing the dishes and folding laundry for the two other adults and one child in the house. No-one complained. I'm convinced everyone in the world would be flattered to have someone bend to their neuroses.

When I forced myself to stop believing I was disabled I lost the language to describe my experiences. I ended up with a counselor in a matter of a week because of my mental state, and he had the unfortunate and arduous job of piecing my shattered mind back together. It's still missing bits... rough in a lot of places.

April of last year, I had to put my dog down. I was spending all my time taking care of him because he couldn't even stand anymore, and the vet really laid it down for me: this was it. So... Even just writing about it puts a lump in my throat and hot tears in my eyes. Grief is hellish agony, maybe the worst I've ever experienced. "I wouldn't be surprised," my counselor said, "you loved that dog more than most people love their own children."

In June I moved again. Currently I'm renting a room with a bunch of dirty 20-something-year-olds who do nothing but smoke weed all day every day and spend 8 AM every morning coughing until they urge, so I roll over and stuff ear plugs in my ears. At least they seem to be good people, and they know to keep their noses out of my business. And $600 for a single room and access to a (disgusting) bathroom, a (disgusting) kitchen and a (disgusting) laundry room with everything included is far, far from the worst I've had. I'm poor, but... it's something, and something isn't nothing.

#TW mention of suicide #TW threats #TW homelessness #TW pet loss #TW abuse #TW pet illness

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liskantope · 1 year

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Last week I attended a seminar at my university on how to write a good DEI (Diversity Equity and Inclusion) statement. I misunderstood the nature of the seminar topic: I was thinking it would be advice on how to write a diversity statement as part of an academic job application (as I have to submit for the great majority of applications I do now-a-years; as recently as 2015 or so it was only a few California schools that asked for this). Instead it was on DEI statements for companies and institutions. I had only noticed the existence of these in the back of my mind (although I suppose I'm going to take more notice of them from now on), because I don't know when I'd ever find myself in a position of having to write such a thing as part of the face of an institution/department.

But the seminar was interesting in its own way. Since 2020 or so, I've attended a good handful of different seminars/talks/meetings/orientations at my academic institutions that are in some way related to DEI or marginalization within academia or something closely adjacent. I typically find something thought-provoking and a potentially useful concrete idea here and there among all the insubstantial and unreflective fluff. I would say that this time, the fluff-to-meaningful-idea ratio was unusually skewed, however. I want to jot down what I recollect from this meeting before the details start to fade, as I think a lot of it is emblematic of this moment in our academic culture.

The seminar began with a bingo get-to-know-you game, where we had to go around the room acquainting ourselves with each other and seeing if we could find someone to fulfill each characteristic on identical sloppily-written 3x3 bingo boards (using one person to satisfy multiple squares was cheating). I think I hadn't done this kind of thing since high school. I found a number of the squares to be a recipe for awkward conversations, in a way that seems to be becoming a typical norm within this particular subculture: for instance, "is of Gen X" (do we need to be estimating each other's ages?), "uses they/them pronouns" (misspelled as "pronounce" -- I personally hate going around asking and telling people my pronouns, and I'm pretty sure a significant number of trans people feel the same way), and "someone that has a different racial identity than you" (shouldn't be too awkward, but it kind of is). Also, "observes religious holidays": are we going to be asking each other's religions now, or do non-religious people celebrating something like Christmas count, so that the description applies to a vast majority? Bemusingly, nobody in the room of 15 or so people used they/them pronouns, and we all wound up with bingo cards completely filled out except for that one square.

It's hard to find words to describe the overall tone and vibe of the seminar leader, except to say that she somehow epitomized a certain inflection and sense of humor that I'm coming to strongly associate with marginalized-demographic SJ activist types I see in real life. The closest I can come to describing it is coming across like a deliberately crafted attempt to appear superficially upbeat and energized and constantly inserting good-natured, almost light-hearted, shallowly tame jokes here and there while at the same time looking like that takes real effort because beneath it all you're just so tired and the world around you sucks so much.

The leader of the seminar began with a spiel about how she refuses to be just a black face used as token for these roles, but requires that everyone actually care about her voice, or else she would rather not be chosen at all. She talked about how our university is often praised for its diversity and would appear at first blush to be doing pretty well at that, yet when you look at the athletics program you see some kind of racial disparity among the students (she was vague on what) so clearly we're not as anti-racist as we pretend to be. This was probably the closest the discussion got to the topic of concrete evidence that we (or any particular place) are falling short, rather than basing it on the wording in DEI statements (what?! see below) or vague ratings that marginalized academics give and that nobody claimed even exist non-hypothetically.

There was a good bit of discussion on the "cultural tax" of members of marginalized groups having to do the lion's share of the work in organizing/running programs/initiatives or otherwise working to get departments' attention with regard to DEI issues. Whenever this comes up, nobody shows any sign of reflecting on the obvious severe tension between this complaint and the popular notion that only marginalized people should be in leadership roles for social justice activism and only their voices can be the source of valid ideas in this arena.

There was also some minor discussion about how to measure results (with "results" being how marginalized academics feel about their environment), which might even start to get one's hope's up that something concrete will actually come out of this, except that the consensus was that it seems almost hopelessly impossible to track anything like this (it would have to be done through surveys, and it's hard to get enough colleagues to even participate in surveys).

Obviously some of the seminar was on what to include or not include in DEI statements, with examples given of good DEI statements at certain companies and universities. There was one main point, which I would summarize as follows: don't just say you work towards diversity and inclusion in vague tidy-sounding language that doesn't actually mean anything, but demonstrate concretely in the statement exactly how you work towards diversity and inclusion... through vague tidy-sounding language that doesn't actually mean anything. Or in other words, don't just say something in a flowery way about DEI being great; say something longer with more pointed-yet-flowery phrases about how much you care about DEI. This was honestly pretty much all I could glean from what was clearly meant to be the leader's overarching point.

She picked carefully over examples of DEI statements at a couple of companies and four universities. Her only criticism was with one of them using the phrase "all types of people", which she condemned as problematic without explaining why or offering an alternative (nobody asked; I almost did). She spent a lot of time reading meaning into particular (very stock and cliche) phrases of different statements. To what I consider a ridiculous extent, she claimed with confidence and an air of wisdom that each phrase about intent reflected a corresponding problem that the department had had just prior to writing the statement. For instance, Boise State's DEI statement includes an email address to report problematic behavior to, which means hooo boy there really must have been a particularly large amount of problematic behavior at Boise State that needed reporting. More absurdly, much was read into particular words in Cornell's statement -- specifically, the phrase "communicate, cooperate, and collaborate with diverse individuals", whose inclusion of the word "collaboration" indicates specifically that oooh Cornell must have had an unusually serious problem with collaboration for instance! -- that couldn't possibly just mean the writers thought it would sound nice to put three fancy-but-vaguely-commonplace verbs beginning with co- in succession.

Everyone else in the room nodded along in solemn reverence for all of the points being made in the seminar. I guess I'm just weird and obtuse for coming away from discussions like this one feeling that they consisted mostly of waffle and twaddle.

#dei #social justice #gender identity #emotional labor #not as charitable as i could be #i do like the phrase waffle and twaddle and may use it again

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