Jason: so. there’s something we probably need to talk about but I don’t know how to bring it up.
Nico: just rip the bandaid off, please.
Jason: I think you’re like, gay and super in love with that Solace kid.
Nico: put the fucking bandaid back on with duck-tape if you have to, I do not have time to talk about feelings.
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Jason: What’re you talking about? My dad is great.
Percy: Has he ever visited you in person?
Jason: Well…no. But - he’s busy.
Nico: Has he ever jumped in to help you on a quest? During the Titan war, at least?
Jason: Not that I can remember…But I managed so…
Leo: Have you ever even had a conversation with him face to face?
Jason: …Do fathers usually talk to their sons?
Percy, Nico, and Leo: *sympathetic looks*
Jason, mind blown and disappointed: I always felt bad for people with emotionally distant fathers. Turns out I’m one of them.
Jason: It’s a miracle I didn’t end up a stripper.
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Nico: *trips over*
Jason *running over*: Oh my gods are you okay? Are you hurt?
Percy: *throws himself down the stairs*
Jason *without looking*: Do a backflip next time.
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have you ever thought about how out of all the men in PJO and HOO, percy is the least like annabeth? they complement each other so beautifully, like 2 puzzle pieces that are a perfect fit, but they’re SO different. like imagine…
piper: annabeth is dating one of these 4 men
hazel: *gestures to percy, jason, frank, and leo*
piper: guess which one
random person: hmm… i’d say frank. he’s the son of the god of war and she’s the daughter of the goddess of battle strategy. they’re both incredible fighters and stategists. i bet they are amazing together
percy: 😐
hazel: *nervously laughs*
piper: um, nope! try again!
random person: oh? really? ok well then definitely jason. son of zeus? well mannered, always in control of the situation, very humble and honorable. as a daughter of athena, he’s totally her type. they are both very calm and level-headed. they both are leaders and know how to weigh the options and outcomes quickly in a tough situation. plus, they are both blonde with light eyes, so they would have beautiful babies!
percy: 😒
piper: *nervously laughs*
hazel: um… still no! one more try!
random person: oh wait… i’m so stupid! it’s obvious!
hazel: there you go! i also think it’s obv-
random person: it’s leo! why didn’t i see it? he’s a mechanic. she’s an architect. they are perfect together! she’s a creator and he’s a fixer. their brains work so much like each other. they’re basically meant to be! oh and they are both from the south!! and i bet-
piper: IT’S PERCY! she is dating percy. perseus jackson. you know, the one on the left? tall, tan, lean, black hair, green eyes? him and only ever him.
random person: oh
percy: 🤨
random person: the… the son of poseidon?? the hot sarcastic bad boy? with that troublemaker look about him? the one with severe mood swings, and who gets expelled from every single school he goes to?
percy: *awkwardly looks down at his hands*
random person: HE’S annabeth chase’s boyfriend??
annabeth: damn right he is 🥰
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Hazel: okay, so in class, we were talking about orgasms-
Nico: *chokes*
Frank: you mean when you fold paper into birds and shit?
Hazel: no, that's origami, orgasms is this green herb you put on pizza-
Nico: wait, that’s Oregon-
Leo: no, jackass, that's that weird state no one talks about, orgasms are-
Jason: Okay, I feel a duty to stop this conversation here. All of you shut up.
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Nico: You ever seen a ghost
Will: But sometimes he would be gay
Jason: I think I was suppose to be gay
Will: there’s a horse lose in the hospital
Nico: hey do you want me to kill that guy for you?
Jason: you have the moral back bone of a chocolate eclair
Nico: do my friends hate me or do I just need to go to sleep
Will: shut up you’re all gonna die street smarts
Nico: stay down on the ground you mother fucker
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Leo, Percy & Nico:*Playing video games*
Jason: You guys woke up at 5:30 in the morning just to play games?
Percy: *silence*
Nico: *silence*
Leo: *silence*
Jason, finally figuring it out: ...You guys never went to sleep, did you?
Leo, Percy & Nico in shame: Yeah...
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