got a new laptop, feeling like a kid on christmas eve & I’m learning to use notion bc idk it fits the agenda of today (which is to transfer my life onto this one now)

whats morison's story? im new here and intruiged

oh let me go crazy with him I . ok.

before i do start though i do want to iterate i WILL be talking about my "canon" version of morrison as thats what im gonna assume you mean. however i have been posting my au morrison recently so if you want that story uhm. you may have to pry it out of me its Really self indulgent. but you Might.

(all under the cut if you dont want to read through all my Shenanigans)

ok so. morrison is a monster Thang who was not always a monster. that also means there are Other monsters and also magic so thats important to note

morrison, as a child, was raised by his family for a good bit of his life. he was well off and happy, though as he got a bit older his parents left for more and more things, leaving him alone for longer periods of time. at some point he causes such a mess while theyre gone that they decide to hire a sitter.

said sitter was Not a good person. she was a practicing magic user at the time and used morrison as part of her 'practice' (she used him as a human target, though thankfully nothing was enough to leave permanent damage). his parents didn't really believe him when he told them bc they knew he was played rough and bruised himself before, plus the sitter would act all nice and behaved when they came back so it OBVIOUSLY couldn't be her.

it did all come to a head when she decided to get ambitious and try a form changing spell on him. one thing leads to another and morrison is now. The Beast. but obv child sized beast bc he Was A Child when he got blasted by the beast beam. hes sobbing and trying to walk on new legs and the sitter does feel a little bad but after having to deal with her for so long he just gets fed up and runs away. this is the last time he sees his family.

years go by (he's a young adult now) and he's living off whatever he can find in garbage and just lying around. hes constantly on the move, scared that if someone sees a monster they'll try and kill him. he settles into one backyard for the night, hoping he's hidden away, but a young girl finds him as shes playing outside. instead of violence, she offers him kindness and some proper food. her parents come out to find her and they also don't try to kill him and instead allow him to stay until he feels he needs to leave (on the condition he doesn't leave the property which he agrees to). for a while everything is good and he finally feels like he has a place again.

but UH OH something has to get fucked up. while hes playing with the young girl she gets injured and the parents run out and immediately assume it was him. they grab whatever they can to attack him and grab a nasty looking garden tool that manages to gouge his eye out, giving him his scar. he runs away in a panic and is back to scavenging for whatever he can find.

a few more years pass by (he's an adult now) eventually he just. gets So tired. he stumbles into a snowy forest and collapses against the trunk of one of them, ready to just. give up. but thats when Owl (another oc of mine) finds him and offers him a second (though to be fair its' probably more like third) chance of comfort :)

thats about it for all his major plot stuff, but if you'd like me to go into him and Owl's relationship and story i would be more than hapy to :D

Sorry if you dont like me ranting in your inbox like this but your recent post really resonated with me

My old school was literally named after having a community, and it was all about community and loving each other and whatever. But it had such an...outcast- I suppose- problem that the staff literally barely did anything about. The students outcasted the "weird" ones (like me) and we always were made fun of. The school was very obviously against blatant bigotry, but they were really bad with anything discreet, even when they were told directly about it by kids like me. You know it's bad when the students literally felt safe enough to say the n slur (a white kid said it, against a poc) multiple times. Yet it always seemed they cared more about kids writing in the stalls in the bathrooms than the community they always preached about. (Literally they made a whole "write your name and time you went to and came back from the bathroom" thing because of that yet did a horrible job at "fixing" the bullying/outcast problem) Hell! My mom said how she got a little annoyed too that she was never invited to or told about the facebook group that the parents apparently had despite the school being all about community. One year, the year I left, the year that was too much for me, last school year, several new kids joined the school. Apparently they were a lot more blatantly bigoted and bulliers, and rubbed off on a lot of the other students there. So suddenly they had a big bullying problem ("oh no the outcast problem we've been told about so much is now too obvious to keep avoiding") Yet they still did barely anything about it. They acted like they were trying but they really weren't doing a good job. So much of the pressure was put on the teachers (god bless those teachers btw, especially the ELA teacher, they were literally the sweetest teachers I've ever known I hope they never have to deal with something like that again), who couldn't do much because they didn't have enough power. Also the teachers were struggling to teach (and they made lessons fun!!!!) bc of the students :( I was being very blatantly verbally bullied near the end of my time there, and I remember my bully shouting out her mean comments very loudly in class (while the teacher was trying to be silly with me). And I could see the teacher know he couldn't do anything except say "just ignore it." I could tell he wanted to do more to help but... he literally couldn't. Because guess who was ignoring it? The fucking staff. The motherfuckers who talked about community soooo much Oh yeah also very very blatantly ableism last year against another classmate of mine (or well, wouldn't come across as ableism to people who wouldn't know why but definitely obvious bullying), and the staff handled it so horribly (I could rant about another thing here but you probably dont wanna hear it and this has already gone on too long lol)

Very very sorry if this was tmi/oversharing or something it's just that what you said in that post sounded like it would've come directly from my mouth so I felt like sharing /gen

(I'd get if you didn't wanna post this btw 😅)

yes, this is exactly what i mean when i say that while individuals might care, schools as a whole generally don't. I'm so sorry your school experience was so bad, that sort of thing shapes so many aspects of your life going forward and in my opinion, it's extremely important for children and teens to have positive experiences at school.

my inbox is available for people to rant in, it's okay <3

your title is gone now, childe. | childe x reader

ok this is rlly shitty bc ive nvr written for childe before. the reason why i did was bc there was a yt vid (which the link is here) and a lot of ppl were writing ab it,, so i decided to join in on it and my friend rlly liked it lol. so im posting this here . this is super shitty tho, cus i rushed it. childe is probably occ so b warned. anyways i might start writing genshin fics, so yea. pls pls pls check the warnings bc this is triggering,, gn prns used !! i wrote this listening to i bet on losing dogs on repeat lmao summary : the love of your life remains as your enemy, even as you both grow closer and share memories you would never share with another person. although you truly loved him, he had what you didn’t. in our lives, we do what we can to achieve what we want, even if it ruins what we already had. we must pay the price if we sought to get what we wish. warnings : character death, gore/blood, knife stuff, possible manipulation?? jus overall sad shit. please dont read this if ur triggered by those things !! 

at first, it had felt like a game - a childish one, in which both had fought for the title they held so dear. a number was just so in many eyes, but in their own, it held much more meaning. to be a harbringer, you must prove your strength. to achieve such title, it wasn't considered dirty to cheat, as it all was just part of the game. as time went on, though, it all had lost it's meaning, though one continued to fight - whether that was to prove he earned his title, and did not want to lose the superiority that it granted him, or for other selfish reasonings that even his inner thoughts refused to accept. due to his own lack of true understanding of the powers others held to make himself seem all the greater, childe went into the war blindly; yet, at the same time, too aware, so much so that his concentration on his weak spots created a new one entirely that was left open. it was not paranoia that put him in this spot, but his own selfish reasons he had yet to entirely understand. a cough escaped the males lips, blood dripping down from the corner of his mouth. it was then, did he realize he underestimated his lovers strength, their willpower, and the lack of true love they held for them. even with a knife against their neck, they would not back down, and it was far too late to realize such. whether [y/n] truly loved him or not, whether they used him for the title that granted them so much power in liyue, he could not tell if what angered him was the lies he had been given or the very fact he so gradually fell straight into them. in the end, all that mattered was who won, but he was unsure if the battle he sought was one he truly wished for. although he was a merciless harbringer, one with no care for the likes of someone like [y/n], he still had a right to love. not only so, but at the end of the day, [y/n] promised him that if all else corroded around the two, they would always be there. childe refused to listen to the soft spoken echoes of the loving words [y/n] used to tell him. he refused to watch the sweet memories of the two playing with teucer, bringing back the toys [y/n] taught him how to make for the pure fact that the poor kid would not find out the truth - or when they would lay in bed together, speaking of the many stories they had experienced in their lifetimes that made them who they were now. but when all is said and done, what all of that was true? did any of it mean anything, if the ones people truly loved hurt them in a way that was unforgivable? when they took away the one thing that meant so much to them? when all is taken, what do they become; what happens then? "oh, oh, my little baby," his lovers lips cooed, their hand softly grazing the others chin. "what have you become?" a soldier that blindly ran into war, fighting against a force he could never put his finger on. the title of a harbringer was an important one, though, how important it was to another was never going to be the same as the other. childe lacked to realize such, stuck in a bubble of his own selfishness and his love for the other - he never cared to realize how much it might have meant to the other. he never sought to realize the power that being even related to one it gave them, or the trip that it would put them on. childes eyes gazed up at his lover, soon shooting away to the empty space beside them. upon looking into those blue eyes of his, one could see the color began to dull and the ambitions he once held began to fade. "i should have been more cautious of you, i would have never expected you to be the one to steal this from me." although he said it in a tone that could show the way he laughed at his own faults, [y/n] knew very well that he had officially been stripped of what power he had held. "you underestimate me, childe. did the acts of other teach you nothing? even the ones you love betray you, a war can not have two winners." a small, hoarse chuckle left his lips; a burning sensation growing in his abdomen. the blood continued to poor out of his side, in which, caught his attention - his eyes glanced at the wound at his side, then back at his lover. he knew his time was up, as the thoughts of his loved ones and the risks he had managed to pull through with scattered his mind - was it worth it, leaving his loved ones behind, his younger brother who had meant as much to him as he did to teucer, in the end? "i hope that..," [y/n] paused for a moment, a small sigh leaving their lips. "in the next life, we meet again, and that you are sure not to let your guard down." the gaze that casted upon childes body soon wavered, turning into almost a sad one, perhaps even a disappointed one - in that moment, when their gaze met each others, they both realized what this both costed them both. it was clear that [y/n] still loved him, and always have loved him, and that was the breaking point for the both of them. one refused to show it, the other was uncaring of what he had let the other see. what is left after life is what truly matters, and although you may not like how it ended, at least something stuck with you until the end. right? "i-i'd like to believe that, [y/n]," childe muttered shakily, his brows very slightly furrowing. "you truly can not trust those closest to you." although the males lover already knew what they had done, what it had costed them - the one person he had chosen to love, the last words to leave childes lips was what had made him fully understand what he had done and the pain was one he knew that he never truly would be able to get away from. "well, we will see, won't we?" there was a pause, silence soon flooding the air. childe knew his time was coming, he accepted it, and it nearly mortified him to know things had to end the way it was going to. "y-yeah, we will.," few words left childes lips, and another blade plunged into his stomach. another groan left his lips, his face coiling slightly in pain. if you were to look hard enough, you could almost see the tears that soon began to prick the males eyes. "i love you, ajax." soon, [y/n] wrapped their body against their dying lover, and childe attempted to do the same. "i-i.., love.. you, too." those were the final words that childe spoke, his body soon going limp in his lovers arms. the words he spoke still lingered, echoing in the bristling sounds of leaves swaying in the wind - nothing more, nothing less. to become a harbinger, there were no rules - you just had to prove you were worthy of such a title, no matter what it costed, no matter how you cheated the rest. life does not come with special privilege's, no one will let you surpass them willingly, you have to fool them into believing you cant, and only then will you be able to reach what you sought for.

BUDGETING

dont know if everyone will still want to know on budgeting lol

I don't want to sound like a bitch yk

BUT

I think the most important thing for me was learning to give yourself the freedom to enjoy things like little by little

I used to do this thing where I was uptight for a super long time and then I wpukd splurge huge amounts and for nothing.

I'm not religious either but I truly believe that setting out a little each month/week for charity is great bc it's always comes back in a form that's greater you know.

Pay rise, new job opportunities, idk good things.

Ik it sounds cringe and gross but I think it's worth it !

THE STEPS LMAO

Okay so I always but in 40%-45% like in the bag already savings I mean (this can obvs be adjusted to fit your own needs but if say keeping over 30% is key!)

And work around everything else in the steps below !!!

If I was brave enough I would send pictures of my last year budgeting plan and how I managed to save !! But I'm not 😭😭😭

the first step for me would be to list your monthly income !

Monthly is way easier to work with and easier to adjust in the long run !

Second would be list out things that have to be paid always. So fixed expenses.

I.e rent, MOT, bills, food ( for this I would highly recommend just having a monthly shopping of like say £20-25 - seems un do able but isnt !!! Frozen veggies are your best friend:)) gym membership, spotify, prime all of that.

Third which is super important for me at least would be to set out a like reward bonus for yourself.

( in cash preferably- like so once it's gone it's gone you know- like monthly rewards for yourself - sometimes you use it and sometimes you dont!! )

Fourth - ALWAYS SET AN EXTRA LIL FUND FOR THE UNEXPECTED THINGS!!! ( car crashes, dentist, medicine if your toaster breaks if your fridge breaks !! all of that lovely stuffs 😃)

So when you look at all that infront you- really just scrutinise it.

Like -

How much of that do you really need to spend?

Is there anything you can cut out on ?

This is super important at least to me bc then I see that yh shit - that is crazy I'm spending useless money )

I think that also keeping student loans separate is SUUUUPER SUUUUPER bc it just. Idk if anyone else is like this but seeing how much they expected from me to be able to learn always depressed me so I made a separate folder for that- made it pretty so it didnt look sooo bad lmao ) but I think the biggest part was getting to grips that I had all that to pay back!!!

Then like random things :

Concerts, events, holidays.

Like make sure you have them planned in advance and make separate funds for all of them.

To cater to what they need! Like for a concert- hotel and food money and merch buying and army bomb and a NEW OUTFITTTT lmao)

And yh - I think setting up a teeny amount for charity or to help ppl is always great aswell bc well idk you feel good and it does always come to find you- doesnt have to be a large amount. Maybe even a food box every month or smn cute and sweet like that !!

This is how I did it : ( kind of irrelevant and just abt silly me lmao but maybe itll help(?))

So i used to work night shifts at this horrible packing place ( it was freezing too but the pay was so good! It was £15-18 an hr ( sometimes even more )and I used to work from 11pm-4am 7 days a week like I didnt take a day off until I quit and i did it for 2 years ! That was like 50k but I had a lot of things to pay off and my parents wanted nearly all of it back off of me 😃)

This is also the NOT the job I wanted yk? Like I used to work with a bunch of stinky ass men and it sucked but I had to do it bc well my parents kicked me out bc I was non religious looool.

I was never enough and I just got kicked out yk? ( oh no not my sob story but just to put it into perspective sort of like I was fucking depressed my money was going like wildfire )

So I had to kind of take everything/every opportunity. They expected a lot back from me too in that way like alot of my learning was going to them :/)

From 5-7

I worked at a bakery ! Cooking and baking and having fun! That was the best job I had the pay wasnt all that but it was something and I needed everything I could get ! It wasnt everyday either but so and so.

I also am bilingual so that way I was able to get a job as a teacher in a daytime school teaching which I did voluntarily! For the first year !

( I had this routine for 2 years!!)

So like I was getting an okay amount from these jobs but god heavens I was spending so unnecessary.

Like a high price for a shit apartment where I would have to pay for things to get fixed to and that was really expensive.

My parents also took alot first year earnings and that's when I was like well shit I have nothing I really need to like get my shit together yk?

There was student loan (- I dont want to like envoke sympathy bc of all this I just wanna like say that my money was kind of slipping away yk I feel like I'm being annoying 😭😭😭 ) - and just a whole lot of wasting on food ( my biggest expenditure- at the time I was struggling with binge eating and bulimia so 🙃🙃 yh )

Dumb shit off amazon, and like just crap you know

Also car petrol and mot and car stuff. and bus and train fares just money can go so easily.

It was just super super tiring to have juggle all these balls at once but when I got the hang of it like doing all those steps I felt more free and more aware of myself and I was able to enjoy while still getting yk the most out of what I do.

I work as a translater/teacher now so the pay is good and like using these steps is how I got the most out of myself

Uh idk If this even makes sense anymore and I'm sorry if come off as bitch too

I don't mean to or come with a sob story

I just think its important to like realise that no matter what and who in your life demands things from you - you always have to choose to look after yourself first- how you choose too look after yourself is ultimately how you choose to look after others too ! Take good care of yourself - give yourself a clearer mind and you'll be able to see a bigger picture- outside of the one built for you !!

If your struggling with other issues - mental health too it can help bring clarity to that too ! Bc it's some sort of semblance.

Gosh I feel gross what if you have to read all of this 😭😭😭

I hope it helps you ♡♡

Budgeting is really important bc we need to buy houses!!

Need property!!!

Start our own businesses !!

Become our own bosses !

It's just super important to know your expenses you can know yourself better too !

And you can be more mature and more self aware

💜💜💜💜💜💜💜

Gosh I really ate your ear off with this one

for everyone wondering about our bestie w 50k savings: this is her story !!

Well, my wifi is not back, and wont be anytime soon. The very earliest luckiest would be getting it back by Tuesday (unlikely). The very worst my house burns down so theres that /lh /hj

This sucks so much because I really cannot read asks I dont see in real time, I have the same amount of reading comprehension for them as I do Frankenstein XD

Dm me links to any important syndicate asks I miss while I'm gone 👍

-

Bannnnnn I tried to draw the Jekyll brothers but Kent? Is inconsistent? The database (what I use) showd him as a clean shaven guy with a bit messy hair but google is showing Kent as a completely different model? Neat hair, Brokenshire beard. Like it's the ingame "identify" zoom in and I cant check whats right before I already killed himmmm

Anyway here art <3. I know I said I'd draw the DTIYS first but art inspiration is stored in the Syndicate au <3

-

Also I've been thimking about Henry wearing a mask +plus ponytail to hide his identity like for the past two days. Yknow those theater masks? The weeping and laughing? He wears the sad one while in the Blighters and Templars and the happy one while in the Rooks because hes a dramatic theater nerd. Also! I like to think that if Jekyll has to be a templar he'd still wear the Blighter uniform when he could and pretend hes not high ranking. He gets away with it because Crawford doesn't care about him and Roth lives for chaos

I also drew Henry in a mask and ponytail but it's not done yet 😔

-

Also I did the math the the twins are 3 years older than Jekyll. Like thank goodness first of all because I fully went into ship entirely unaware on if there were canon ages or a scary difference. But also Jacob being 3 years older than Henry is kinda funny to me

-

All of Evie's outfits (besides her default) are bad and I'm gonna fist fight the designers because the secrets of london (where I only searched the locations of 3) is so bad, especially with the effort needed. How did they do Jacob so good, but utterly fail with Evie /lh

NOOOOOOO D: Man, I really hope you will get it back asap, and also that your house don't burn down!!

Man, if I don't know your struggle rn. However I shall do my best to link you to every syndicate ask that I will get from here on out bc I don't tend to get small asks for that au so <3

--

Huh-- oh wow you're right. I wonder if it is a set design or just a bit on random depending on the save file... I killed him a long ass time ago so I have absolutely no idea how he looked like <3

EITHER WAY OH MY GOD IT LOOKS AAMZING. I love??? How you gave all three individual personalities in just a single picture??? Kent looks like he is seconds away from murder and I LOVE Henry in the templar outfit, it fits him so well??? Man I really want to start thinking more of this branch. Would the entire Jekyll family be Templars so the trio got that role inherited? Are Raphael and Kent unidentical twins and Henry is the odd-one-out because he is the youngest? Were the three of them really close in Scotland, but left as soon as possible bc their family was abusive, only for Kent and Raphael to find refuge in the Templar Order while Henry goes to university? Would they still have that brotherly love if they were close as kids even when they are in the Order, or would they have a falling out and start despising each other (or Jekyll @ the older brothers at least)? Would Raphael and Kent secretly be protective of Henry and manage to keep him out of Starrick's line-of-sight so that Henry won't get in trouble for defying orders/ignoring them? Would they force Henry to join the Templars with threats or would Henry mostly feel obligated to join them? Since the Templar Order isn't illegal in London, would other people know that Jekyll is a Templar, or would he keep it hidden from the public? Would his brothers help hide his identity?? SO many questions and I'm so sad I won't be able to discuss them with you :'c

(also can I just say I love the poetic differences between their clothing. Raphael is just wearing a waistcoat/basic clothes and he is a brute and more open, Kent is wearing more clothes/layering up and he is the "brains" out of the two of them, Jekyll is wearing the most layers and is almost trying to hide himself and I just... *chief's kiss*)

--

Henry being a dramatic theater nerd and stealing Roth's costume supplies to hide his identity bc he is so ashamed of it and doesn't want people he knows to know about it my beloved <3 Plus the blighter uniforms doesn't look too far off of what he normally wears so he could probably use that as an excuse whenever some other Templar gets up his ass about not wearing the right clothes, yet it still doesn't make Henry feel any better knowing he has to bear the knowledge that he is actively wearing discreet blighter clothes to keep the Order happy and the public oblivious, knowing what cause he is reluctantly supporting. (him joining the rooks and suddenly coming into the Society all dressed in green lol)

Anyways I have now also decided that Maxwell and Henry are friends bc they both hate the Templars and Crawford and Henry gets to star in many of the plays he sets up. Plus they are both slightly insane so they match each other good.

YKNOW WHAT I WAS DAYDREAMING ABOUT WHILE BRUSHING MY TEETH RIGHT AFTER THIS ASK? Jekyll being forced to be the one to murder his brothers and the twins trying to track the murderer down just to know who tf are killing their targets, conveniently at the same time Maxwell starts meeting Jacob. Henry watching Jacob from afar getting smitten by him but keeping a distance bc he knows Maxwell is possessive, Jacob being the first to befriend Henry after Maxwell explains that both of them are against the Templars and Crawford, Jacob saving Henry during the fire of the theater? Yes pls <3

--

Thank god bc here I was imagining an age gap of like idk 15 years bc of the differences in the timeline but! I'm just going to keep the canonical age difference while also shoot the timeline up a lil so that the events of Syndicate and TGS takes place at the same time but they are the right age and stuff, just bc I do not like Evie's and Jacob's older designs and I do not want to imagine them meeting during the Ripper dlc <3 Also the thought of Jacob being older than Henry is funny. I think Henry has a type /j

-

They are so fucking bad and I'm going to scourage the Nexus to see if I can find any good redesign mods because they are so fucking bad. But to be fair, all female main characters' outfits are bad. Pearl? Lucy Thorne? Mfs looks like vampires. Even more reasons for why I only play Jacob, bc all other outfits on Evie are bad <3

silver lining

Request: “it's a day on set and you haven't been feeling good you pass out mid filming, and it turns out to be serious”

Warnings: nothing really, but mentions of surgery and emergency rooms

Rudy Pankow x reader

Word Count: 1.5k

A/N: i know i said i wouldn’t do the actor but i changed my mind bc this seemed innocent enough. not sure if i’ll do more, as i prefer the characters. but i figured i’d at least try once. if this bothers you i’m sorry. also not even a blurb lol, i can’t make them short unless they’re phrase prompts omg

You woke up this morning feeling like you had been hit by a truck. All last night you tossed and turned alternating between sweating and shivering. When your alarm sounds, you roll to the side to turn it off and are hit with a wave of nausea. Instantly, you rush out of bed and barrel towards the bathroom. You thought you were going to be sick, but thankfully nothing came up. 

You sigh taking in your disheveled and damp appearance. Lifting up your shirt, you inspect your right lower stomach expecting to find a bruise. Oddly, there was nothing there but you felt a dull ache taking over the area. You were curious about why you suddenly felt so horrible, but knew you had to get to work. Turning on your shower, you steamed up the room and stepped in. You were hopeful that a nice, scorching shower would be enough. 

In the shower you contemplate how important it is for you to be okay. You finally landed an acting role and didn’t want to mess it up. It wasn’t the largest part, but you were in the second half of the TV series season quite a bit. This spring you had auditioned for a love interest on Outer Banks and shrieked when you got it. Your character was supposed to start slowly falling in love with the character JJ Maybank, while he secluded himself off from his friends. He goes through a tragedy of dealing with John B. being gone and feels left out by his best friends dating. So, he meets you while surfing alone and they continue to meet up often. Anyways, you were among so many great actors that you felt insecure at times. And the last thing you needed was to be calling in sick and halting filming. 

Besides, you had a huge crush on the actor who played JJ. You never did anything about it though. During filming it was professional and after you would smile and joke with the lively blond. It was hard not to like him. He was full of so much life, was intelligent, kind, and could have any room rolling with laughter. He was always so sweet and respectful towards you but that was it. You two had spent hours together rehearsing and filming. You were growing closer, but it didn’t seem that he wanted it to move any further. It wasn’t like him and his co-stars who were already all friends from the first season and had a visibly strong bond.

Pulling yourself from your thoughts as your long shower grew cold, you shut off the water and start to dry off. You would just have to fake it for the day. There was no way you weren’t going.

-

Arriving at set, your stomach pain only worsened. Instead now, it was sharper rather than dull. You head into your trailer and pop a couple painkillers before splashing water on your face and making your way to hair and makeup. Walking in you see the one person you got most excited to see, Rudy. 

“Hey y/n.” he greets with his usual bright smile.

“Hi Rudy, what’s up?” you try to match his tone. “Oh, you know, just getting my flowing locks perfected” he jokes while the hairstylist sprays the hairspray to hold his flawless gold waves in place. You chuckle in response but try not to wince at the pain it causes. But to no avail, your face gives it away. 

He frowns at your obvious discomfort. “Are you okay?” You beam at his genuine concern. “Sorta. I just have this weird stomach pain. But I’m fine!” you rush to reassure. He raises his eyebrow at you like he doesn’t believe you. “If you’re sure, just take care of yourself first please.” You actually fully smile this time, “Thanks, I will” you slightly lie. 

He rises from his chair with his hair finished. “See you on set, lover” he gives you a two-finger salute as he heads to film scenes with the other cast members. You feel your neck heat up at the nickname. You knew it was only because you played his love interest, but you couldn’t help but feel flustered every time he did it. 

- 

After sitting through hair and makeup, you head to set overhearing a scene being filmed. It’s Rudy yelling at JD about something to do with his character JJ being distant and it being none of their business. You take in the sight of him now in different clothes. He’s wearing that cutoff you love that shows off every inch of his defined arms. They’re bulging even more, because he tenses with anger. His fingers covered in rings as they run through his hair. You admire Rudy’s acting and his seemingly effortless portrayal of JJ. 

Suddenly, while waiting another wave of sharp pain hits you. You curl up in your chair and whimper. No one notices because they are too entranced with the scene. Taking a couple deep breaths, you try to distract the pain away. It didn’t alleviate it at all. Shortly after, they’re done filming and Rudy is walking towards your chair next to his. Bounding with a sense of pride in his work, he innocently smiles towards you. Once he’s close enough to see your expression, his demeanor falls.

“Y/n you don’t look too good. You sure you should be filming today? We can take you to the doctor.” he offers becoming increasingly concerned. You quickly shake your head no. “I’m okay. C’mon let’s go” you try to get him to drop it. He looks unsure but ultimately follows you to the towel on the sand to start your scene.

The director starts to give you both some instructions that you can hardly pay attention to. He yells “action”. The scene starts off well, Rudy is acting perfectly as always, and you deliver a few lines without issue. 

Without warning, your stomach wrenches in agony. You start wincing and your eyes tear up. You curl your body up and start groaning. The camera men stop filming, and everyone rushes towards you. Rudy is the first to try to help. He places his hand on your arm to try to see if you’re okay.

“Y/N! What’s happening? What do you need me to do?” he’s frantic and rushing his words. You only cry in response until you muster the energy to speak. “I don’t know, it just hurts so much” you whimper. Immediately, Rudy is scooping you into his arms and hauling you to a vehicle. You hear everyone panicking in the background but can only focus on the soreness. 

Rudy rushes you to the emergency room where people surround you and start performing a series of tests. Soon you’re being sped to surgery. You’re told you have appendicitis and need emergency removal. It all happens, so fast your family isn’t able to get there before it starts. They live all the way on the west coast, so sadly they won’t make it until way after. 

- 

You wake up from being put under on anesthesia in a hospital room. You slowly blink open your eyes to find an unexpected visitor. It’s Rudy nervously biting his nails and bouncing his leg in front of your bed. When he realizes you’re awake, you can see with weight being lifted off him

“Y/N! You’re awake! I’ve been so worried about you.” he looks so stressed and miserable. “I’m sorry.” you croak. He looks taken aback, “What? You have nothing to be sorry for. I’m just glad I forced you here when I did. How are you feeling?”

“Like shit” you tease and you both erupt into giggles. He grabs your hand and rubs his thumb softly on your fingers. “I’m really glad you’re okay.” “Me too. Thank you for everything you did and for waiting for me.” He stands up and places a gentle kiss on your cheek. “Are you kidding? There’s no way I was leaving you. I’ll go get the others, they’ll want to know you’re awake. Your family is about an hour out by the way.”

You sink further into your hospital bed feeling the butterflies taking over. You’re still slightly sore from surgery, but his lips and the pain medication make you feel on cloud nine. You weren’t sure if Rudy felt this way before and the emergency brought it out or if he’s just being kind, but you were loving every second of it.

A few days later you get to return home, but on bed rest for the next two weeks. Rudy spends every minute he can in bed with you watching movies and cooking for you both. He has to continue filming, but he reassures you that in a few short weeks you’ll get to pick up and finish the last few episodes you have with him. 

You weren’t excited about having your appendix removed, but it did bring the boy you cared for full force into your life. He was your best friend. And now eagerly becoming more. 

i didn’t add my everything tag list bc i dont normally write for actors and didn’t want to tag you guys for this just in case. 

THE DARK KNIGHT RETURNS PART ONE: CINEMATIC WRONGS AND ANALYSIS COMMENTARY

DO NOT REBLOG.

This is going to be a bullet point list of incidents that occur in the movie, and will either have my general commentary or an analysis of what makes the scene terrible (or in some rare cases, good). TRIGGERS FOR SUICIDE, MENTAL HEALTH, AND DYSMORPHIA 

-bruce trying to kill himself in the beginning of the movie. 

Hes reckless, and willing to risk his life, but not suicidal. But he just purposefully gets into a wreck at 2 minutes into the movie?? for no reason??? theres literally no reason for it other than it being angsty bc they COULDVE started the movie with the mutants doing crime, as the next scene cuts right into it and the following news reports 

-"This reporter hopes that wherever he is, hes enjoying a toast with good friends" said when its the anniversary of batman’s disappearance 

this is stupid I hate this movie. You're telling me Gotham forgives Batman for just disappearing on them? DID THAT NOT HAPPEN IN NML AND EVERYONE GOT PISSED??? Like everyone in this movie seems to have forgot he abandoned the city. Not to mention, and I'm gonna go off on a tangent here, bruce will be batman for as long as he lives. He calls himself batman in his mind even when hes retired. He believes that Bruce wayne is the mask. His whole identity is batman. Saying that hed quit because of jason is not only stupid because it implies Jason's death isnt just as important as his parents, but shows that any tragedy is enough to permanently knock him down. And as if the league, or the family, would have let him give up. Anyway the whole reason the retirement in batman beyond works is because it shows bruce was going to fight until he literally died on the spot, but instead he pointed a gun, didn't even use it, just pointed it, and he realized he wasnt fit to HONOR batman anymore. He broke the rule. And he doesnt deserve to wear the mantle. This is so good because 1) bruce still wants to be batman and 2) it doesnt imply that he gave up at all, and at this point with his decreasing wellness his family WOULD be telling him to stop

-Gordon toasts with Bruce on the anniversary

FBKSBSOANSISSB OH MY GOD IT JUST SHOWED HIM SHARING A TOAST WITH GORDON. this is the anniversary of the last time batman is sighted and gordon. JIM FUCKING GORDON. Is celebrating. When they were literally partners and hed shine the batsignal each night TELL ME WHERE THE LOGIC IS!!! I CANT FIND THE LOGIC!!!!! I'm literally 3 minutes into this movie..... and already this is how its going...

-Gordon and Bruce talk

"You're not worried about me, are you?" Asked when hes in clear danger of being attacked by mutants "noT MorE tHAn i aM tHe ReST oF tHis CItY" ah yes. I forgot that Bruce hated gotham and jim Gordon. My mistake. Common misconception.

-the mutants are introduced

Ugh and it's the worst kind of villains too, jim just described the mutants as "the worst kind of criminals. They are only after violence, with no humanity at all" GIVE! VILLAINS! REASONING! I hate these joker wannabes Joker was already enough we dont need a million more "lol I'm just evil deal with it" villains

"Talk to Dick lately?"asks Gordon "You know I havent" Bruce responds

THIS CONVERSATION IS GETTING W O R S E BC I KNOW HOW THIS MOVIE GOES AND HE JUST INSTANTLY HAS CARRIE BE THE NEW ROBIN- WHICH, IS N O T BRUCE'S TO GIVE. ITS ALWAYS BEEN DICK'S MANTLE TO PASS DOWN- WHEN HE HASNT BEEN SPEAKING TO DICK????

-tangent on how it’s overlooked that Dick Grayson was the one to make Robin, not Batman

This is a sin that not just the movie, but the batman franchise in general seems to always make. Robin was made as a tribute to the flying graysons, and is meant to be colorful and aerodynamic for acrobatic tricks. it should always be dick’s to pass down, or the next robin after. 

-Bruce begins having trouble with holding back his urge to be Batman

His whole wanting to be batman again thing started because of a newspaper with a family's death and pearls being sold. On the same front cover. I'm. THATS WHEN HE REMEMBERS HIS PARENTS? NOT EVERY FUCKING TIME HE HEARS A GUNSHOT? OR CLOSES HIS EYES? OR SEES BLOOD? HE READS A NEWSPAPER THATS FLOATING IN THE WIND??????NOT EVERY TIME HE LOOKS AT JASONS COSTUME? OR THE OTHER CRIMES COMMITTED??????LOGIC!!!!!!!!!! I NEED !!!! TO KNOW!!!!! WHERE IT IS!!!!!!!! ARE U KIDDING ME NOW THE MARK OF ZORRO, WHICH IS WHO THE FUCK KNOWS HOW OLD NOW, IS ON TV??????????? AND HE JUST HAPPENS TO FLIP TO THE CHANNEL.. Batman telling bruce "you've tried to hold me back. But you're weak. Ypu know it in your soul. You're nothing but a hollow shell." Is so STUPID!! WHY HAS HE BEEN FIGHTING BEING BATMAN!!!!!!!!!! BRUCE SHOULD WANT TO BE BATMAN!!!! AND HATE HAVING TO NOT BE!!!! AND A BAT FLYING INTO HIS WINDOW AGAIN???? STOP THE FUCKING CLICHES IM SICK OF THIS . UR NOT BEING NEXT LEVEL, MOVIE. ITS JUST DUMB. ITS DUMB!!!

-Carrie Kelly

her first ??? Appearance??? Is her going into KNOWN MUTANT GANG TERRITORY instead of going through the rain. And scolding her friend for not having backbone WHEN THEY COULD LITERALLY DIE and saying, and I quote, "its better than out there." then when interviewed about the incident her friend says  "It was a flying monster! With wings and fangs!" and she replies with "Reality check, Michelle, it was definitely a man, but he had to be like 12 feet tall" OH YEAH THATS VERY REALISTIC CARRIE. Shes an asshole to her friend and we're supposed to like her.  Oh and Carrie's reason for wanting to be robin? She saw the bat signal while her parents were talking about public marches. That's it. That's her reason. Not because she was attacked by mutants and almost died.

-Giving the movie credit

Okay but if theres another thing I'll give credit for, and I'm sure its unintentional, is that Harvey is the first criminal he wants to take down. Because Harvey is always going to be Bruce's priority. He didnt go after the mutants, but Two-Face. And the way that confrontation goes when it’s revealed harvey thinks both sides of his face are scarred. the Arkham staff fixed his scars before he was ready for treatment, and his mental health wasn’t priority. he was going to have dysmorphia either way, but not treating mental illness worsened it.  kinda? good writing? But I think it was unintentional to have the idea that Arkham didnt know what they were doing and the belief that scars are important before trauma, and how trauma has to be helped first. I dont believe for an instant that's what's meant. 

-Carrie Kelly part two

She gets a Robin costume and goes out onto the roof and is like.... almost dies. THEN THE NEXT SCENE WE SEE HER SHES LIKE COMPLETELY ACROBATIC? WHY IS SHE SO ACROBATIC NOW!!! THIS TAKES PRACTICE!!!

-Batman confronting the man who supplied the mutant gang with guns

Oh, this scene...He hands a guy a gun, knowing full well that he was depressed because his wife was dying and he had to make more money to save her by supplying the mutants with weapons, and just walks away as he kills himself. (input from a friend which i like:  think about everything bruce did to help mr freeze and his wife now think about this scene )

Batman vs Mutants 

oh, and the "batmobile". Aka his tank. Rubber bullets. Ok fine, whatever, but RUNNING THEM OVER AND SHOOTING MISSCLES ISNT LETHAL? AND HOW IS CARRIE KELLY GOOD AT FIGHTING ALL OF THEM WHEN SHE COULDNT HANDLE HERSELF WITH ONE LIKE A WEEK AGO.  hate that the mutant leader is just a ripoff of bane with long pointed nipples I hate this. I hate that batman cant take him down, but carrie kelly can. AND THE MUTANT LEADRER TOTALLY DIED WHEN BRUCE THREW ADHESIVE ON HIS FACE AND HE WAS SUFFOCATED BUT LATER ON IT SHOWS HE LIVES ??

Bruce talks to Carrie 

"What is this thing?" -carrie "Dick called it the batmobile" -bruce "SIR!!" -alfred over the radio There are no words. Then she pops his arm into place and creates a makeshift cast And he says "where'd you learn to do that?” and because she’s a mary sue she says nothing, because miller doesnt know why she should, so he cuts to "what's your name?" and she says "Carrie. Carrie Kelly. robin" and HE FUCKING GOES "MINES BRUCE." and then immediately tells Alfred hes bringing "robin" to the cave. I hate it here I hate that he forgets what happened to Jason aFTER ITS HIS LITERAL REASON FOR QUITTING. WHAT IS THE POINT IF HE’S GOING TO ACCEPT THIS GIRL HE DOESNT EVEN KNOW AS ROBIN?

-Bruce talks about Jason

OH BRUCE'S FUCKING LINE. HIS LINE. IM FURIOUS Alfred asks "have you forgotten what happened to Jason?" And he says "I'll never forget. he was a good soldier. He honored me" I AM !!!! SHAKING!!!! WITH HOW MAD !!!! I AM!!! Bruce would NOT say that shit. Implying that jason wasnt his son, or that jason was only a casualty in a war, or that HE FUCKING HONORED HIM AND NOT THE CITY, OR THE TITLE OF ROBIN "He honored me" shut the fuck up I hate this and dont even get me started on the misconceptions of Robin in the first place. i dont want to go into the debate on whether or not they’re soldiers, which I personally don’t believe. but its just stupid because Jason considered being Robin the best thing that’s ever happened to him, and he was THE BEST. it wasnt his fault he was killed, either. 

-The ending

So the mutant escapes his cell by going through a VENT. A . V E N T. AND ENDS UP IN THE SEWER. I hate that these mutants are just an army of evil people and have no motivation and the leader is just a brute I fucking hate Bruce calling him "son" And the mutants become the sons of batman who fight crime......??? because their leader is gone?? werent they supposed to be evil criminals with no humanity in them?

-Joker

Okay but Joker being absent the entire first part , only to show up in the end hearing news reports about batman, and then smiling as he stands up and just fucking creepily says "darling" holy shit that gave me goosebumps. another credit i have to give. 

Do you think if Sylvie, was a male variant eg boastful Loki, that them falling in love would be out of character? I don’t believe it was narcissism, but proximity and shared experiences. Loki was a very lonely man bc of who he was, and to find someone else similar to him, imo them liking each other makes sense?

i honestly dont know what I'd think in that case but the fact that it's basically the same person twice and that they barely knew each other when the show started to hint at loki liking her like that would still remain. so I'd probably still think that it's rushed and really weird even with another male loki. yeah shared experiences factored into that whole thing but maybe after being away from lamentiss loki could have realized that he just really needs a friend who understands him. like i was really hoping it was just going to be an instance of loki being confused about feelings and not what we actually got in the show :/ i just really wnated it to be feelings of friendship instead of feelings of romantic love lol. oh btw did you know that apparently it's mainly one of the writers who really ships them but the director sees them as platonic 😭 so even from the creators of the show there's absolutely no clarity

idk who said that but someone said that sylvie is just being positioned as the clever and super strong one in opposition to loki and the other lokis in the series. we barely know anything about her too. like for pretty much every loki their relationship with loki is so important that even kid loki and classic loki mentioned him in their brief appearances. yet we dont know anything about sylvie and her thor. and yup they couldve done so many things to make her seem more like a loki

i mean. TECHNICALLY the loki series was also setting up the next doctor strange yknow. because it opened up the multiverse 😭 i wasnt really that invested in wandavision but imo that explored and developed wanda's character pretty well and let her become more powerful, like now she's the scarlet witch like in the comics. yeah the plot was pretty interesting and compelling tbh (the existence of the tva and the sacred timeline made some things that hapoened in the mcu so far even more questionable but meh what can you do). honestly with the characters it feels a bit like infinity war for the the characters from thor ragnarok bc they went through all that character development and learnt that they have new/more powers but then all that is just suddenly gone?? also i just remembered that ravonna got all those files from miss minutes and went through that portal but we have no clue where she is now

things ive already established r on this post

besties this got so fucking long but heres a giant ramble about cherri

okay so. there are huge differences betwn cherri as a hyperviolent drac hunter and cherri as a friend of the four and cherri as the girls mentor. with the first one he was 17 and desperate to distance himself from his upbringing so he went all in on Being A Killjoy. he was always one of the first ppl to rush into a fight and he fought hard. he blew up his fuckin hand with that attitude. and all the while he was just racking up more unaddressed trauma and eventually he ran away from that, too. giving himself radiation poisoning was more appealing than facing his problems.

so as a teenager/young adult hes kind of constantly in a panicked state. hes scared the people from his past are going to find him and drag him back with them. so he lashes out and he runs away over and over again.

i said in another post that he has some past life shit goin on which usually would give him a connection to the witch that manifests early in life, but with all the stuff hes gone through he has been Preoccupied. he can become oblivious to almost anything that doesnt apply to whatever hes focused on. not in a hyperfocus way its likeeeeee. when u live on survival mode during prolonged periods of stress. hes immune to magic bullshit bc hes too tired and scared.

anyways around his mid-20s he finally has a little more stability (as much as the average person living in the zones can have, that is) and he finally notices that Weird Stuff happens around him. basically: out of my list of Powers People Connected To The Witch Have he has the prophetic dreams/enhanced intuition as well as a form of sensing ghosts where he can see auras and kind of like, echoes of past events in ppls lives. that look like auras. itz complicated and not of utmost importance so im leaving it at that.

anyways thats what makes him start writing poetry. just 4 funsies he'll describe his weird experiences and embellish them to make em pretty. just as a casual hobby n all that.

he would forget fun ghoul in between the times they ran into each other but its pretty easy to be reminded of who fun ghoul is. the most insane 10 year old cherri has ever met. cherri isnt a brother figure to ghoul. hes just. his friend that happens to be more than twice his age. its whatever lmao

to cherri, ghoul is kinda like a stray animal he keeps seeing. which is hilarious. ghoul actually goes and finds him to introduce him to jet when they start running together, and cherri meets party and kobra (spark and birdie at the time) when he drives the four of them to a party. because he has a truck hell yeah. so now instead of one stray animal he has, like, a feral cat colony that he drives around occasionally. i have no real-life human relationship equivalent to them because irl if some guy that is not related to any of you and isnt even a childhood or family friend and theyre hanging out with you? they are usually not a safe person lmao. but this is my fantasy land and im too stubborn to change anyones birth years even though ghoul being born in 2004 makes everything really hard to make not creepy.

so yeah hes a casual somewhat friend of the fab four. hed probably get more and more concerned as they got famous. the beginnings of any sort of protective feelings, awww :) that sets him up for becoming the girls mentor.

OH FUCK. THE GIRL..... i think if i was in my late 20s and i heard that the gang of 13-17 year olds had adopted a 5 year old kid i would go bananas. what the fuck. it is a LONG while before cherri meets her. but he has the strongest affection for ghoul (if you could even call it that) and ghoul absolutely adores the girl and swings her around under her arms like a cat to show her off to cherri and its very endearing and the girl is sweet and funny so its easy to be around her. and (unfortunately) she is somewhat used to interacting with weird easily agitated people so she kinda gives him space. cherri isnt quite the uncle figure the fandom usually makes him (i luv uncle cherri sm but he simply cannot exist in the universe ive created, f), but hes a little similar.

and then the four had to go and pretend to die. lol.

when the girl was kidnapped, fucking everyone who knew her was ready to storm the city then and there. like regardless of how little you knew her, if you had ever met her you would fucking die for her. she is pure childish charisma and shes precious. i love the girl. so cherris immediately on board with whatever plan the four make to get her back. ive already talked abt how it fucked up the girl tho; there was no way to tell her that the four werent actually dead, she sees the building collapse and she shuts down. and cherri has to fight against his instinct to leave the radio station and never come back when he sees an eight year old girl sitting dissociated on the couch. that fucks everyone up.

i just realized i havent talked about literally anyone else at the radio station. i think cherri started lingering around the station bc it was safe and sheltered while also not being a popular spot. there are less kids there (people pass through but its not a hangout spot). he was kind of just hanging around to get away from the heat and noise and dr d took notice. because that man can see ur soul and no one knows if thats literal or not. so theyd chat a few times a day and show pony was the one 2 get him out of his shell a little and also was the first one he mentioned his poetry hobby to. im making this all up right now as im writing bc i dont know anything about LITERALLY any of the ppl associated w the radio like im not even going 2 try with chimp n newsie i do not have the willpower to tackle all that. justttt. cherri pony n D become bros and live 2gether there.

back 2 the regular timeline. the rescue mission happens in 2019. the girl lives at the station until 2023. during that time she is very much depressed and withdrawn and is only happy when the four come to visit. none of the Adults know how to help her so they just keep her safe and cared for and hope she'll open up to them.

she does not. she takes the weird cat thats been hanging around and she runs away.

cherri does not see her for three years. shes still worse for wear in the mental health department and he can see all kinds of visions of what shes been through since the last time he saw her and he fucking hates the ultra vs bc they remind him of his past. he does not want her going down that path but its obvious that she isnt crazy abt the ultraviolence thing either so thats a relief.

they have a kind of tense relationship throughout the comics. he feels like he failed her and that spirals into feeling like he failed the four for not being a good adult to them and fun ghoul for not helping enough when his commune was bombed and all kinds of shit and that irrational thinking mixed with plain old, yknow, caring about the girl, is what makes him take a bullet (laser. whatever) for her.

i was trying to figure out the timing of each of their ghost experiences, but i want both of them to talk to the witch and im just gonna make it like dreams where a whole buncha stuff happens but irl its been like seconds. so its like barely a second while the girl has her Witch Convo and cherri FINALLY gets a straight answer, yes there is weird shit going on with him having powers. he doesnt have any story-significant past lives because im lazy, hes just an old soul. like really fuckin old. the amount of latent life experience and stuff his soul/energy/whatever has picked up along the way makes him VERY noticeable to gods n stuff. he fuckin lights up all the alarms like what the FUCK is that over there. she wasnt rly able to get to him or even properly notice him while he was a kid and a young adult so shes happy to finally see him again. he has a STRONG sense of familiarity with her. they know each other on a wild ass level that he cant really comprehend.

welp thats some more lore I'll have 2 think abt. anywayz

post canon is when he and val get to have the most awkward spiderman meme moment of realizing that they have the same trauma SOOOOO thatz fun lol /s sorry kings i thought it would be fun to give u something fucked up to bond over <3

not much changes in his personality. he has a better understanding of Weird Magic and delights in freaking out the ultra vs but for the most part he returns to his life at the radio station. i love him

THIS GOT SO CRAZY LONG I DID NOT MEAN 2 GO THROUGH EVERY PART OF HIS LIFE LIKE SOME WEIRD CHARACTER STUDY but here we are. this is basically a first draft like almost all of this is subject to change but u gotta start somewhere. so heres my start i love this guy. its probably obvious but i have not read ANY twitterverse killjoys stuff </3 maybe i will someday idk

Review/Reaction of IT Chapter Two

Let’s just start right off the bat and let me just say that Bill Hader better get a fucking award for his performance.

Alright. Here we go y’all. im trying to stay in order with what happened but so much happened in the movie that my brain is just all over the place so excuse me while i try to form words

UNDER THE CUT CONTAINS MAJOR SPOILERS

• first opening scene is a fucking LOT okay like i sobbed my eyes out and it was just not cool. adrian and his boyfriend? CUTE AF. Him getting brutally beat up and then killed by Pennywise while Don just watches? NOT CUTE AF

• Mike is a precious boy and I love him so. He cares about his friends so much holy shit. they all get mad at him for lying to them tho.But he only did it to protect them. Mike knew some SHIT(tm) our boy is so smart?? I’m glad they kept to his original storyline

• Older Bill gave himself so much shit this film and i just felt so bad. like we know it isnt ur fault okay?? We know you loved your brother, stop putting yourself down. also?? him becoming protective over dean? please stop my aching heart. 

• Jessica Chastain owns my whole heart and she can kick my ass anyday. She plays Bev so well and captures young bev’s personality so well. her scene with mrs kersh was very weird. i knew the second she ran naked in the hall i’d be seeing some weird fucking shit okay 

• Jay Ryan could kick me and I would personally thank him like?? wow what a man. He immediately recognizes bev when he first sees her and im just?? im happy. so many hidden new kids on the block reference and it had me fucking rolling in my grave

• JAMES FUCKING RANSONE MY DUDE OH LORD okay listen. he gives off young eddie’s panic and chaotic energy so perfectly i felt like i was watching him as an adult, who just never grew up. I think thats what he was going for honestly. He played eddie SO FUCKING WELL 

• I’m so sad about stan. THats all you need to know okay. I’ll talk about his letter later on in this. Stan deserved better. that’s all. 

• if you are not a fan of vomit you’re not gonna enjoy richie tozier. literally any time something bad happens hes just like ah shit here we go again *vomits* and honestly? that made me laugh. like hes just like oh shit something is happening let.. let me just.. no no its fine guys ill catch up.. EHBWFIJHDFSIJ no okay but bill hader stole the fucking show. his acting was phenomenal and,, again,, i’ll add more onto that later. 

• richie scares the shit out of dean. because he thinks hes pennywise. but can you blame him? the kid just. stared at him all creepy and shit. but its so funny. the losers make fun of him bc he doesnt know his own lines from his acts and richies just like “I dont write my own material” and eddies just like “I KNEW IT! I FUCKING KNEW IT” dead. goodbye.

• Young losers were still my favorite part honestly. Eddie kept bouncing that stupid ball in stan’s face in the clubhouse and i was waiting for him to get punched in the face tbh. That didn’t even seem like eddie, that was Jack’s energy bursting through the seams lmfao

• young eddie runs into a fucking box and shrieks and if that isn’t me idk ewhdfiajksjdoi 

• THE FUCKING. HAMMOCK. SCENE. okay listen to me. thats gay. hammocks are now gay. gays only. gay interacts only. the bickering between reddie had me in TEARS. eddie kept kicking at his face and just?? casually??? lays on him when richie wont move?? 

• stan’s fucking shower cap ehfdiujasdiosa and then richie being like “nobodys afraid of spiders stanley okay” and eddie slowly removes his because he cares what richie thinks more than spiders ok

• a flashback from after they defeated IT in the first move with reddie “eddie youve been gone for 24 hours your face is most likely on a milk carton by now” “shut up richie” 

• yong Richie has me weak af this whole movie, like always. just getting on Eddie’s case. HE PINES SO HARD OH Y GOD Like wow my sweet boy is so fucking in love ouch. which?? BRINGS ME TO MY NEXT POINT??

• THE ARCADE SCENE?? he checks out the kid standing next to him and tries to get him to hang out more and then the other kid tells him to stop being weird because he’s not gay, too, and then uses the F slur. richie was just so hurt. paul bunyun scene happens after that and hes just like “I just shit my pants” and i cried. 

• pennywise screaming “lets play truth or dare, you wouldnt pick truth! you dont want them to know your secret” gave off the same energy as eddie’s leper blowjob scene from the book. same energy. do with that as you will. 

• they had some flashbacks that included pennywise and im not sure if this was before or after they had defeated IT in the first movie but i interpreted it as after and if thats the case... hes supposed to be dead. but now thinking back on it, it was probably just more scenes before they put pennywise to rest for 27 years. 

• young richie went to the kissing bridge after that and we ALL KNOW WHAT HAPPENED THERE. fucking.. r + e :((( although we don’t see him carving the E. but reddie is canon so suck toes antis

• stephen king pretty much being like “I know u and ur endings really do suck” to bill when he comes to buy his bike was so fucking funny. it almost felt like a self insert lmfao. ALSO HIM MAKING BILL PAY 300 BUCKS FOR THE BIKE BC HE KNEW HE COULD AFFORD IT? iconic. 

• richie and eddie opening the door to the dog had me laughing. pennywise was just mocking them at that point. they’d be such good dog dads and now im sad

• i was really confused because they added part of stan’s bar mitzvah?? like it wasn’t even the same from the first movie. like they should’ve just put the deleted scene in from ch. 1 and then added that part. thats one of my very few complaints. im slowly hiding them in here. 

• henry bowers was kinda irrelevant in this honestly but thank you eddie for stabbing him and richie for killing him for trying to kill mike yall heroes 

• BEVS BLOOD SCENE ?? CORRESPONDING WITH BENS BURIED ALIVE SCENE? poetic cinema. 10/10

• the big fight really disappointed me in all honesty. but i think thats because andy said he cut so much from there. i expect it to be better with the director’s cut

• eddie saving richie and then immediately being stabbed by pennywise’s claw? IM DEPRESSED.

• “Rich! rich, i did it! i think i killed him!” Our boy was so happy with himself :( 

• eddie’s last words WERE NOT “i fucked your mom”. he was talking to richie and you can hear them talking while the rest are preparing to end pennywise. so im hoping we get that as a deleted scene. 

• richie goes back to help finish pennywise but when he goes to check on eddie.. he’s dead. ://// and bev is like “richie, come on, honey.. im sorry” and richie does not want to believe him. he grabs and hugs eddie so tight i swear i could feel that hug from the audience. 

• another thing im disappointed in and am sliding in is some of the animations? Like. fucking weird. but okay. luckily i didn’t care too much.  

• THE SOB that richie lets out when he holds eddie really hurt my fucking soul jesus christ just kill me

• the losers try cheering him up after and like. thats their friend too but you can just totally tell he’s crying in a different type of grief. THAT WAS HIS FIRST FUCKING LOVE. 

• they all remember after and thats really important to me okay

• stan writes letters and its spoken outloud while the other losers get little montages of what theyre doing with their life after the battle. Richie goes back to the kissing bridge and recarves- YES RECARVES AND YOU CAN CLEARLY SEE THE E BEFORE HE DOES- he recarves the E and while doing it, stan’s voice says “be proud of who you are” and im fucking cry ibg okay

• in the end, i give this movie a 7/10 rating. although some of the animations were weird and some of the flashbacks had pennywise in it (like hes supposed to be currently dead but ok... maybe nightmares??) the actors were PHENOMENAL and the chemistry between older richie and older eddie made me so happy. my ship is canon. but im still sad about stan and eddies death. 

• ignoring canon in 3.. 2.. 1.. now 

Not a Ninja (A+S) Neji x Reader

Okie doke. Here we go. Chapter 1 of this book. This is actually my first ever Naruto oneshot ever, so don't judge too much hehe. Smutty-Chan returns in this one bc she helped me with coming up with some of this one.  Let's get on with it so yall can get your daily dose of Neji. (We're gonna make the reader and Neji 16 in this one, which is lowkey young for a smut fic, but oh well.  Then Naruto and Sasuke are 12 here, bc whatever) This one is also a pretty long story (7233 fucking words (including A/N and shit) I am so fucking sorry) because I went too far with the backstory before you get to interact with Neji bc Im an annoying bitch, but whatever I hope you read and enjoy anyways! :))

   You sat on the roof of your house, waiting for your friends to get home from training for the day.  You hated not going to train with them, but that's just the way it was.  Finally, you see the blonde haired boy running down the street towards you, a raven haired boy trailing him.

   "Y/N! Guess what!" Naruto yells at you as you jumps down from the roof landing in front of him.    "What is it?" you question, wondering what had him so excited.    "I passed Kakashi's test, I'm gonna be a ninja. Believe it!"    You knew Kakashi.  He had actually taken you under his wing.  He knew you needed it. Someone to look up to and trust.  He served as a big brother and without him, you'd probably be dead.  Knowing Kakashi, you knew what his test was.  He could be a little tough on his students which makes you worry for Naruto, but you know Naruto needed the discipline.    "I'm glad you guys passed," you said as Sasuke finally caught up, "I didn't wanna have to slap Kakashi for failing you.    You and Naruto laughed, and Sasuke even broke a smile.    "Kakashi would kick your ass," Sasuke teased you.    "Yes, I could, but I would never," Kakashi says, standing on the roof where you previously sat.    "You're gonna give someone a heart attack doing that one day," you looked up at Kakashi.    "Shut it. I actually came to tell you that your parents left for a mission earlier. Didn't know if they told you or not."    "As if they'd tell me anything," you scoff and turn around as Kakashi jumps down next to the three of you.    "I'm sorry, kid, I'm sure they were just busy."    You knew Kakashi was only being nice.  He was usually tough on you, but when it came to your parents, he knew that being hard on you would be worse and push you away.    "Yeah, sure," you knew they left without telling you because they didn't care.    "Well, I've gotta go, I have to meet someone for ramen," Kakashi said, jumping to the roof again before leaving.    You smirked, knowing he was going to go meet Iruka. Even though they'd been dating for quite sometime and they both came out a while ago, Kakashi still got all awkward when he mentioned dating Iruka.    "Y/N, I'm sorry they left without saying goodbye," Naruto comforts.    "It's fine, I could care less at this point," you shake your head as Sasuke puts a hand on your shoulder, attempting to comfort you.    You know you shouldn't complain.  So many people don't even have parents. Like Iruka, Naruto and Sasuke, for example.  You rly didn't have parents in the typical sense, though.  They were usually gone or just ignored you.  They had two reasons.  One being that you were friends with Naruto.  They were pissed because they hated him like everyone else.  You, on the other hand, saw him as human and took him in as a little brother type person.  They hated that.  The second reason was because you didn't inherit the kekkei genkai.  This also caused them to keep you from enrolling in the academy.  They thought you'd never be good enough without it.  Your brother inherited it, though.  He was nicer to you than your parents, but he was typically out on missions and official business.    He was the best thing you had.  Until he passed when the nine tails attacked.  This is another reason you didn't hate Naruto.  You wanted to show other people who lost loved ones that day that Naruto wasn't the monster they said he was.  You visited the memorial everyday, which is where you met Kakashi.  He reminded you of your brother, but he was even kinder to you, and always made time for you.  Something your brother never did.  This is why Kakashi was one of your two favorite people to look up to. The other, of course, was Iruka, who was always a kind, respectful, and loyal.  Three qualities you always found important.    "It's fine, guys, really, don't worry about me," you let them off with a small laugh.  You knew it didn't fully convince them, but it made them sure enough that they could leave to train some more.    All of a sudden, Kakashi showed up again.    "Y/n," Kakashi spoke from the roof.    You jumped up to join him.    "Were you here waiting?"    "No, I actually made it all the way to the ramen shop and sat down with Iruka before I realized I forgot to tell you something," Kakashi admitted, rubbing his neck.    "Well, then what did you forget to tell me?" you laughed at what a dork he was when nobody else was around. You were really lucky to have him.    "Your parents told me to let you know that you're going to be staying at the Hyuga's while they're gone."    "Well fuck my life."    "First off, watch the language," he scolded you like he was your parent. He basically was though, "Second, what's wrong?"    He sat down, his legs dangling off the edge of the building. You sat next to him, copying his sitting position, your legs swinging over the edge.    "You know I'm 16, right? I can cuss if I wanna," you pouted.    "Yeah, yeah, I just don't like you growing up so damn fast," he sighed, "Now what's wrong?"    "I hate the Hyuga's son. Well I don't hate him, really. He's a great ninja, strong and smart.  I want to be like that. But, he always looks down on me because I'm not a ninja."    "Well, you're just as strong as any ninja. I've been training you like I would any ninja.  While your parents didn't put you in the academy to be an official ninja of the hidden leaf, you're still one of the strongest people I know. Even without the kekkei genkai of your family."    "Really? You think so?"    "Of course I do," Kakashi reached out a hand to ruffle your hair, "You're a very strong young woman, and an even stronger ninja."    "Thank you, Kashi, it means a lot coming from you," you send him a gentle smile.    "There you two are," Iruka sighs as he looks up at you from the street.    "Why don't you join us?" you yell down.    Iruka then jumps to join the two of you on the roof.  He sits down next to you on the side opposite Kakashi.    "I heard a little of what you were saying," Iruka admitted.    You expected a lecture on how you shouldn't doubt yourself.  You weren't too far off.    "You're an excellent fighter.  In my mind, I consider you a ninja.  I call you a ninja when I talk to others about your strength.  You doubt yourself because you don't have a headband.  That's no reason to doubt yourself, you know?" Iruka put an arm around your shoulders, pulling you closer and into a side hug.  You let your own arm slide around his middle, hugging him closer.    "I'm glad I have you two," you spoke to the two ninja sitting next to you, "Before you guys, I had nobody. I was completely alone.  I wanted to kill myself.  Then you two showed up and gave me hope.  Thank you for that."    Tears were now spilling from your eyes as you shoved your face into Iruka's vest.  You squeezed him even tighter, but not too tight, you didn't wanna hurt the poor guy.    "Sorry," you spoke as you pulled away and wiped you eyes, "Ninja don't cry."    Then you looked up to see Iruka sporting some teary eyes of his own, then to Kakashi who had no tears, but had a look on his face to show you that your words definitely had an impact.    "I'm so glad you didn't," Kakashi broke the silence, pulling you into another tight hug.    He then let go, allowing you to just sit there with them.   The three of you sat there in a comfortable silence for a while before you realized something.    "Hey Kakashi?"    "Yeah, kid?" he responded.    "If my parents told you to tell me that I'd be staying with the Hyuga's, then they weren't just caught up in something.  They purposely left without saying goodbye. They just chose to leave me here without saying goodbye."    Nobody spoke.  You knew Kakashi probably felt bad.    "I dont blame either of you for that.  They just hate me, nobody can change that.  I wish they'd just put me up for adoption. I mean, at least then I wouldn't deal with them."    "Well, I'd adopt you," Iruka chuckled as he ruffled your hair.    With these two constantly ruffling your hair, you had no idea how you kept it neat.    "I wish you could, then it'd be like a real family.  The three of us."    "Yeah, that would be nice, wouldn't it," Iruka agreed.    "I wouldn't exactly mind either," Kakashi also agreed, scooting over and pulling the two of you into a group hug.    You sat like that for a moment before Kakashi released the hug.    "You should get to the Hyuga's before it's too late," Kakashi said, standing and pulling you up with him.    "But Kashiiii," you whined, leaning on the silver haired ninja, "Can't I just stay with you?"    "Sorry kiddo, I've gotta talk to the hokage, then I'm off for a mission with Iruka," Kakashi sounded guilty.    "Well, I'd better get to the Hyuga's before it gets too late," you said, repeating what Kakashi said a minute earlier.    "I'll come with you," Iruka said, standing himself, "Then I'll meet Kakashi at the gate for our mission.    "Sounds good to me, Ruka," you said with a small smile.    Kakashi nodded and hugged you again with a kiss to your forehead before he leapt away towards the hokage's office.     "Shall we?" Iruka asked, offering a hand.    "We shall," you laughed, taking his hand.    The two of you jumped off the roof, heading toward the Hyuga's.    "I'm really glad that you and Kakashi are together.  I think you make him really happy," you told the man walking next to you as you could see the Hyuga's in the distance.    "You think so? I'm glad," the male said with a small blush at the mention of Kakashi.    "I think that you make him happier everyday. I've definitely noticed a change in him since you guys started dating," you smiled.    "Well thank god.  I've actually been thinking of proposing," Iruka said quietly.    "OH MY FUCKING GOODNESS YES!" you yelled.    "Y/N! Quiet! And doesn't Kakashi always tell you to watch your language?"    "Well, yeah, but I don't see Kakashi anywhere, do you?"    "I do," Kakashi said from behind you causing your eyes to go wide.    "I though you were going to the hokage," you spoke.    "Ended early, so I thought I'd catch up with you guys," he shrugged.    "What? No lecture about cussing?" you joked.    "Well, you said it yourself, you're 16, you can say whatever you want."    "Really?" You were surprised that he didn't lecture you.    "No. Now stop cussing, you're too young," Kakashi deadpanned.    "Rude," you huffed.    "Now, let's get you to the Hyuga's," Kakashi walked closer, grabbing Iruka's hand, which made the younger man blush.    "Whatever, sure. But I'm still not happy about staying there."    "Oh come on, it won't be THAT bad," Iruka told you.    "Hey Iruka, can I talk to you for a minute?"    "Sure, go ahead," Iruka said still walking.    "No I mean.  Well how do I put this? Love ya, Kashi, really do, but this is more of an Iruka and Y/N conversation," you spoke, looking at the ground.    "Okay, I'll wait here," Kakashi dropped Iruka's hand.    Iruka walked towards you as you left to stand far enough away that you were out of Kakashi's earshot.    "What's up kiddo?" Iruka said.    "Well you know one reason I don't wanna stay with the Hyuga's," you spoke quietly, just in case Kakashi might hear.    "Right, you don't like Neji because he talks down on you," he nodded, signaling you to continue.    "Well there's another reason," you spoke, a small blush growing.    "Which is?" Iruka waited for you to respond.    "Well, I may, or may not, have a small, and by small I mean huge, crush on him too," you spoke quickly, hating what you had just admitted.     "So you hate Neji?" you nodded, "But you have a crush on Neji?" you nodded again.    "Yep, that's the problem."    "Well, why do you like him?"    "I really like that he's a strong and intelligent ninja.  He's very good at whatever he does and he seems as if he'd be loyal.  Not to mention his looks, I mea-" Iruka cut you off.    "I do not need to hear you thirst over how cute you think a boy is, y/n, you're like my little sister, and I'm not sure my heart can take it," Iruka explained.    You giggled at the actions of the older man.    "Anyways, why do you not like him?"    "Well, he always reminds me that I'm not a ninja, and I can't stand it.  He reminds me of the kind of ninja I want to be, but never will."    "Maybe talk to him about it.  Tell him what's up.  Or you show him your stuff and maybe he'll back the hell off," Iruka spoke sternly.    "Wow, Ruka, getting a little heated, bud."    "I don't like when people look down on you because you don't have a headband.  You could probably kick most of their asses.  I hope you do one day."    "Okay, calm down, I'll figure it out," you pulled him into a hug, "Let's get back to Kakashi so we can leave.    "You're right, I was told that you had to be there by three, and it's already 2:30."    "Ready?" Kakashi asked as you walked back over.    "Yup,"you said, already beginning to walk.    You saw Iruka send a worried looking Kakashi a reassuring smile.  You guessed it was a silent promise that you were fine.    It seemed like you shouldn't be here yet, but time passed so quickly as you joked with Iruka and Kakashi.  Yet here you were, standing at the Hyuga's door.    "Well, kid, here we are," Kakashi spoke.    "Yeah I know," you deadpan.    Kakashi reached forward and knocked on the door.  Hiashi answered the door.    "Y/N, hello," he greeted you with a surprising warmth.    "Hi," you spoke quietly.    You turned to say goodbye to Iruka and Kakashi.  You hugged them both, allowing them to give you a kiss on the forehead.  You waved goodbye as they left.    You then turned back around to face Hiashi.    "Come in, y/n, make yourself at home," he smiled at you.    You really didn't peg him as a kind type, you assumed he'd be harsh and cold to you.  Maybe it was because you were the child of his closest friend, your father.    "Thank you, sir," you bowed before entering the house.    "Just call me Hiashi," he told you before closing the door behind you.    "Is that Y/n?" a woman called from the kitchen.    As you walked towards the voice, you found a woman who you assumed to be his wife.    "That's me," you laughed.    "Welcome, y/n, would you like something to eat, I just set out some snacks here, you're welcome to have some," she smiled kindly.    Then Neji walked in. Well shit.    You grabbed the first thing you saw without knowing what it was before thanking her and running off to find somewhere to sit outside.    As you finally sat down on a bench outside, you took a look at whatever snack you had grabbed.  It was a carrot. A whole ass carrot.  Not even like a baby carrot.      "Is that a carrot?" you hear a familiar voice ask from behind you.    "I think it's a carrot, I don't know much about carrots," you said in a mocking voice, making sure the sarcasm showed, "Just because I'm not a ninja doesn't mean I'm fucking stupid. I know what a carrot it, Neji."    "Yeah, whatever, I just wondered why when you had a whole plate of snacks to choose from, you chose the carrot that was about to be chopped for dinner."    Shit, of course you grabbed the one thing that wasn't on the fucking snack tray.    "Well, did you ever think I just like carrots?" you shrugged it off.    "I just didn't think you ate anything other than ramen with Naruto," he spoke.    "Who said I was gonna eat it?" you winked at the boy now standing in front of you.    Now, of course, you weren't gonna do anything dirty with the carrot.  That is just downright unsanitary.  Probably would cause an infection.  But you liked to tease people.  Making people uncomfortable was something you enjoyed.    He'd never admit it, but Neji's cheeks now sported a light dusting of blush due to your comment.    "Y/N, that is inappropriate," he spoke, turning away.    "Oh, come on, I'm not actually gonna fuck a carrot, Neji."    "Y/N, that still isn't appropriate," he said again.    "Well, a lot of things I say aren't appropriate, but here we are," you laughed.  Neji was your favorite person to annoy.    "Is this what you do with your time? Come up with stupid jokes to annoy people?  Is that what you do instead of training to become a ninja?"    "Neji, shut it, I've had enough. I can't stand to stay the night in the same vicinity as you while my parents are away. I'm going to ask Hiashi if I can just stay at my house instead."    "I can agree with that, I'll even help you convince him."    The two of you walked back to the house in silence.    "Excuse me, Hiashi?" you spoke to the man standing in the kitchen with his wife.    "Yes, Y/N?"    "I was wondering if I could go stay at my house while my parents are gone. I'll still come to check in with you and let you know I'm alright.  I just feel more comfortable in my own house," you spoke, nervous because he may say no.    "I agree with Y/N, she told me her feelings on the situation, and I see where she's coming from," Neji spoke up.    "I'm not so sure, I'm supposed to watch you, you're my responsibility, after all," he spoke, unsure.    "I still think you should allow her to go home if she feels she should," Neji fought for you to leave.    "Well, if you really want her to stay at her home, then you go stay with her, that way she won't be alone," Hiashi spoke towards Neji.    "I really don't think that's necessary-" Neji began.    "Too late, I've made up my mind," Hiashi spoke, "Go get your things for the next few days to accompany Y/N while her parents are gone.    "Alright," Neji walked away.    "Thank you, Hiashi," you bowed, then turning to walk to the door.    "Of course, Y/N, be careful and check in with me frequently," he told you.    "Yes sir," you walked out the door.    A few moments later, the door opened and Neji walked out with a bag of what you assumed was clothes.    You walked in silence with a grumpy Neji.    "You know I'm not too happy about this either. I didn't think he'd make you come with me."    "Whatever, too late now, let's just hurry up so it can be over," Neji spoke calmly.    It was going to be a very rough time for you.    The two of you arrived at your home.  You showed Neji to a guest room and left him to go cook dinner.  You made a simple ramen dish for the two of you, calling Neji down for dinner.    "There's your dinner, hope you like it," you said, putting the dish in front of the ninja sitting at the table.    You left to grab your own dish and two glasses of water before sitting down across from Neji and starting to eat.    "Thank you for the food, Y/N," Neji said, finishing his food and standing up to take his dishes to the kitchen.      You stopped him, now done with your own food.    "I'll get the dishes. You are my guest after all," you said with a fake smile, "You just go up and get some sleep, I'll clean."    He looked as if he were going to disagree, but shut his mouth and left anyways.    You finished cleaning and went to check if Neji needed anything before I went to bed myself.  When I knocked on his door, I got no response, so I assumed he was asleep.    You then went to your own room and got ready to go to bed, stripping to nothing but a pair of underwear and a tank top.    You laid in bed forever, tossing and turning. Not being able to sleep sucked.  Finally, after a struggle, you fell asleep.    After sleeping for a while, you woke up with a certain feeling in between your legs.  Your mind just loved having some wet dreams and leaving you to wake up feeling some kinda way.    You decided to glance at the clock, wondering if you could do what you wanted without being woken up by Neji.  You saw that it was 12:00 am.  Well, Neji would be asleep, so you figured it would be fine.    You took your hand and slid it down your body to the bottom of your tank top before pulling it over your head and throwing it across the room to the dirty clothes basket.    You then let your hand wander across your exposed skin, landing on your chest and playing with your boobs.  After teasing yourself for a while, you finally slid your hand down to where you needed it most.  You played with the waistband of your underwear, allowing yourself to pull them down your legs and off of you completely.    You took your hand and started just rubbing your fingers up and down, feeling how turned on you were.  This caused you to let out a small moan. Jesus, you had barely even touched yourself and you were already moaning.    Then you heard a knock on your door.  Shit. It was obviously gonna be Neji, he was the only person here.    You quickly covered yourself with your blankets and told him to come in.    The door opened, revealing a shirtless Neji. Oh dear god, now that you've seen him shirtless, your crush is never gonna go away.  He probably doesn't wear a shirt to bed.  You found yourself picturing his chest against yours as he pulled you in for a kiss.    Neji gained you focus by speaking.    "I thought that I heard a loud bang like someone fell, so I thought I'd come check on you."    "Oh, I heard it too, it was just the neighbor, he comes home drunk sometimes and falls on his face when he reaches his porch."    "Oh, okay."    He was about to leave and close the door when he stopped and looked back up at you.    "Are you alright, you're really flushed?" He asked, sounding genuinely concerned.    "Oh, uh yeah, I'm fine," you prayed he didn't notice your underwear on the floor.  You also hoped that if he did notice the underwear, that he didn't notice that they were fucking soaked.    As if the universe was just telling him everything you didn't want him to see, he looked down and noticed your underwear. His eyes darted from you to the underwear and back to you.    "Oh, I see why you're flushed," Neji smirked at you. He actually did something other than frown at you.  You though to yourself that you may die from seeing that damn smirk.    "It's not what it looks like," you tried to save yourself.    "Really? It isn't?" He spoke as he stepped in the room and shut the door, "because I think I know exactly what it is."    He took slow steps to your bed.  Almost teasing you.    "Nope, definitely isn't what you think," you knew this was a lost cause, but you weren't gonna give up so easily.    "Well, then, if you weren't doing what I assume you were, then lift up the blanket," he crossed his arms across his chest, the smirk still resting on his face.    "Well, I guess you've got me there, I can't lift up the blanket," you admitted to the boy in front of you.    "Well, you could always lift the blanket anyways," he took a few steps closer, eventually reaching the bed and sitting down beside you.    "What?"    "I said, you could always lift the blanket anyways.  If you don't want to, you don't have to, and I'll leave and we can ignore this, but I'd be just fine if you did lift it," he winked at you.  He was giving you an out, not pressuring you, but boy was he sexy while he was doing it.    You reached out and wrapped your hand around the back of his neck, pulling him so he was right in front of you.  He was so hot with his hair down and you were so overwhelmed. Your crush was a few inches away from you, your lips so close to touching.    He closed the distance, tired of waiting for the kiss.  You immediately let yourself melt into his touch.  You lips moved against his own and you found a steady rhythm.  A minute later you pulled away for air.    "Neji, I, wow, that was, wow," you spoke, flustered.    "I agree," he chuckled.    Oh dear god his chuckle.  You'd never heard him do anything other than be serious. His chuckle was surprising, but it was music to your ears.  He must've noticed the stupid grin on your face because he spoke up.    "What?" he looked confused.    "Nothing, your chuckle is just really cute," you admitted, looking down.    He took this as a chance to lean down and capture your lips in another passionate kiss.    Now kissing him was great, but kissing wasn't gonna cure the need between your legs. You decide to speed this up by flipping him over your body and onto the bed next to you.    "Hey Neji," you said before crawling out from under the blanket.    "Yeah?"    "Promise not to judge me.  Nobody's ever seen me like this before," you said shyly.    "Of course I won't," Neji responded, his voice becoming soft.    You then pulled the blankets off and moved to straddle the boy.    "Y/n," he whispered out.    "I knew it was stupid, forget it," you said, beginning to crawl off of him because you were afraid he didn't like the way you looked.    "Hey," he spoke as he grabbed your waist, holding you close, "where are you going?"    "I knew you'd think I wasn't pretty, I just knew it," you got insecure all of a sudden.    "You are absolutely beautiful, Y/N, your personality, your face, your body. It's all perfect to me," he let his thumbs trace patterns on your waist.    You raised your head from his shoulder to look at him.    "Really?"    "I wouldn't lie about that," he kissed you again.    He began to pull away from the kiss, but before he could you grabbed his face and pulled him into an even deeper kiss.  This kiss quickly grew heated.  You felt like you were under some sort of spell.  The way he kissed you felt unreal, it made you feel like you were loved.  You could stay here with him like this forever.    Unfortunately, you both needed some more oxygen, so you were forced to break the kiss.  You both pulled away and you rested your forehead on his.    You took this moment as a chance to grind your hips down onto his to test the waters.  Luckily for you, he seemed to enjoy the kiss just as much, so when you rolled your hips against his, you earned a deep groan.  It came from his chest and he closed his eyes, allowing his hips to buck up slightly.    "Is that okay?" you asked Neji, not wanting to push too far.    "Yeah, it's good," he was breathing a little harder than normal.    With a sudden confidence gain, you gave Neji another deep kiss before kissing your way down his body.  When you reached his waistband, you stopped and peppered his hip bones and lower stomach.  He didn't seem to mind you staying like that for a while.  After teasing his skin for a while, you brought one of your hands to his lower thigh, before lightly tracing up the inside of his leg and reaching the bottom of his shorts.      You let your hand move further up his legs, still over his shorts until you reached his prominent bulge.  You let your hand apply pressure there, causing Neji to let out another groan.  You would never get tired of hearing him sound like that.    "Y/N," he almost begged.  You didn't take Neji as much of a sub in bed, but here you were, on top of him, causing little whimpers to leave his mouth.    Deciding he had been teased enough, you finally reached to his waistband with both hands, to which he responded by lifting his hips, allowing you to take off his shorts and boxers in one go.    Now, being a virgin, you had never been in this situation before, so seeing his size took you by surprise.  You knew enough about sex to know what was supposed to happen, but knowing and doing are two different things.    Still unsure of what to do, you moved your head towards him and began to lick up and down Neji's hard member.  You decided to just go ahead and go all in, finally taking him in your mouth, lips wrapped around his head.    His hips bucked up into your mouth, which took you by surprise, but it wasn't all that bad.    "S- Sorry," Neji moaned. He clearly didn't mean to buck into your mouth like that, but you assumed that he was just enjoying it, so his hips bucked subconsciously.    You pulled off of him then, kissing your way back up his body before reaching his face again.    "It's alright," you kissed him on his lips.    As you were kissing, Neji saw an opportunity to flip you over, allowing him to hover over you.    Something about the way he was just inches away from you, his left arm holding his body above you was downright erotic.  His chest was pressed right up against yours, both of your bodies covered in a thin sheen of sweat. He let his right arm roam your body, landing at your knee and pulling your leg up around his waist, grinding against you.    The feeling of him grinding into you with no clothes was amazing, it made you see stars.    He moved his way down your body, copying your actions from earlier.  He left marks down your body, nibbling every once in a while as he lowered to where you needed him most.    The view of him in between your thighs was almost enough to cum right then and there.    "Can I?" he mumbled in between kisses to your inner thighs.    "Y- Yes, please," you breathed out.  You needed him.    He wasted no time in putting his mouth to work.  You moaned and your back arched as his tongue flattened while he licked in between your legs.  Your hands made their was to his hair and grabbed as he ate you out.    "Neji, oh god, oh please," you moaned, encouraging Neji even more.    After hearing you moan his name like that, he gained the courage to let his tongue to dip into your heat and curl up.    "Oh, god, Neji, I'm gonna, I'm gon-" you were cut off by your own moan as pleasure took over your body.    Your back arched, your grip in Neji's hair tightened, and you moaned so loud, you thought the neighbors would hear.  As your back arched, Neji's hand supported you by placing it on your lower back.    Neji kept eating you out, allowing you to come down from your high.    After you had come down, Neji worked his way back up your body, kissing you gently when he reached your lips.    "Neji, please, I just need you," you moaned, bucking you hips up so he would get the hint.    "Are you sure?" Neji asked you, rubbing against your entrance.    "Yes, please Neji," you moaned out.    With that, Neji took his time in moving in, not wanting to hurt you.    After he was fully inside you, he stopped to let you adjust.  He seemed to know what he was doing, he knew just what to do.    "Are you ready for me to move?"      "N-Not yet. It's my first time, sorry," you felt like you were taking to long to adjust.    "It's okay, and it's my first time too, so don't worry," he gave you a few gentle kisses, as if to reassure you.    After Neji had kissed you, you felt comfortable enough for him to move.    "Okay, you can move now," you spoke quietly.    "Are you sure?" God, he was so sweet, he didn't wanna hurt you.    "100%"    He then pulled out slowly before thrusting back in, gaining a stead rhythm.  The pain started to dissipate, turning to pleasure,    "God, Y/N, feels so good," Neji let out a moan as he picked up his pace.    Then, as if his mind decided to clear up all of a sudden, his hips stopped and his eyes went wide.    "What? What's wrong?" you asked worriedly.    "Condom," Neji was freaking out because he had forgot about condoms.    You giggled.    "Why are you laughing? I'm being serious."    "Because I'm on birth control for my periods," you were still chuckling slightly.    "Well, you could've told me that before now," Neji let out a breath of relief.    "Well, now you know, so could we get back to what we were doing?"    He just shook his head at how goofy you were being, before thrusting again.    You moaned at the sudden attention.      He held your body close to his as he moved inside you.    The two of you were in your own world, the only thing that mattered was the person in front of you.  You completed each other, moving together perfectly. You'd be happy to stay like this forever, with Neji holding you close.    "Y/N I'm really close, I'm not gonna be able to last much longer," Neji moaned in your ear.    "Me too, Neji, please don't stop," you barely got out the words as he hit that special spot inside you.    You moaned louder that you had all night.    "Yes, oh god, right there, Neji, right there," you nearly yelled.    He kept up the pace, but made sure to hit the same pace inside you with each thrust, wanting to give you the most pleasure you had ever felt.  If that really was his goal, he was definitely accomplishing it.    He had already given you one mind blowing orgasm tonight. Yet you thought he may raise the bar even higher with the next one.    "Fuck, Neji, oh I'm cumming, Neji, oh," your back arched even further into the male above you as you reached your peak.    Neji kept thrusting as you came down from your orgasm, moving to reach his own high.    You spasming around him sent him over the edge.  He grunted your name over and over as he weakly thrusted a few more times before stilling inside you.    Neji then collapsed on you, moving to lay his head on your chest.  You smiled down at him as he laid there, breathing heavily.  You moved one hand up to rest on Neji's back and trace patterns on his spine.    "That. Was. Amazing," Neji breathed out, looking up at you.    "Agreed," you replied, also out of breath.    After a few moments of silence you spent just looking each other in the eyes, Neji finally spoke.    "I'm sorry," he whispered.    "For what?" was he sorry for having sex with you? Did he regret it?    "For looking down on you all those years.  I only did it because I knew if you tried you could be a great ninja.  I guess in my mind, I was just trying to push you to become the ninja I knew you could become," Neji spoke softly.    "It's alright, Neji, in a way you did encourage me to become stronger.  You encouraged me to train hard with Kakashi every day so I could still be strong," you explained, "The only reason I wasn't in the academy with you was because my parents never believed I'd be good enough without my family's kekkei genkai."    "Well screw them, you're absolutely amazing," Neji huffed out, moving to hover over you again, resting his forehead on yours, "you are a strong, gorgeous, and intelligent young woman, and I love that about you."    "Thank you Neji, it really means a lot to me," you smiled, wrapping your arms around his neck and pulling him in to kiss you.    He was the first to pull away from the kiss.    "Now, I'm gonna make up for all those years," he spoke.    "What do you me-" you were cut off when you felt Neji's hand rubbing up and down the inside of you thigh.    Neji then let his hand spread your legs even wider, nudging your leg away, giving him access to what he was looking for.    He didn't take long to tease you, quickly taking his finger to rub a few circles around your hole before slipping in.  Your breath was already picking up again, still enjoying the attention he was giving you.    "Oh Neji, god, feels too good, don't stop," you moaned to the ninja hovering above you.    Your breath was speeding up even more.  You had no clue how he managed to make you feel so good.  I mean, he said he was a virgin.  How the hell did he know how to please a woman like this?      You bit your lip to hold back your moans, feeling slightly embarrassed by how good he made you feel.    "Don't hold back, Y/N, let me hear how good I make you feel.  Let me hear you."    Oh dear god, Neji was gonna be the death of you.  It seemed like every word out of his mouth caused you to melt.  You really need to calm the fuck down or you'll have a damn heart attack.    "Does this feel good? You like that?" he said, curling his fingers up as he thrusted them as deep as he could.    "Fuck, yes, yes, feels so good Neji."    He then moved down your body, leaving a trail of kisses on your skin.    While he used his fingers to pleasure you, he let his tongue focus on playing with your clit.  He then removed his fingers and switched the position of his fingers and his tongue.  His tongue was now moving in and out of you at a fairly quick pace as Neji's fingers moved to play with your clit.    He then stopped everything, pulling away from you completely.    If only you knew what he had in store for you.    He moved up and grabbed your hips before flipping the two of you over, letting you sit on his hips.    You decided to take control of the situation and do something you had always thought about.    You slid yourself down Neji's body, stopping when you were straddling one of his thighs.  When you were settled there, you began to slowly move up and down Neji's thighs, grinding yourself down and pleasuring yourself.    "Mmm feels so good, Neji, god yes," you moaned.    "Come up here, Y/N," Neji motioned for you to come back up to where he was.    You obliged, moving up to straddle his hips again. He took his hands and grabbed your hips, lifting you off his hips and moving you beside him.    "Can you get on all fours for me, Y/N?" he asked you.    You obeyed him again, moving to get on all fours.  As you settled there, Neji laid down, his face right in between your legs.    He took your hips in his hands again, pulling you down to his face.  Oh my fucking god, he wanted you to sit on his face.  You definitely weren't gonna protest.    He brought one of his hands up to thrust into you, while his tongue took care of everything else.  Oh, this was definitely how you die.    You were no gonna last long like this if he kept up with what he was doing.    "Neji, oh fuck, god it feels so good, keep going, just like that."    Your words caused him to moan into your core, sending another jolt of pleasure up your spine, shivers moving through your body.    "I'm gonna cum soon, Neji, you make me feel so good, fuck."    This caused him to speed up his actions, moving faster than he had all night.  He knew how to hit every single pleasure point in your whole body.  Everything he did, every movement he made, made you feel perfect.  Every damn thing brought you closer to the edge, but his words are what finally put you over the edge.    Neji pulled his mouth away from you to encourage you.    "God, you're absolutely beautiful, Y/N. Are you gonna cum for me? Cum for me," Neji said to you, his voice sounded so god damn sensual.    That was it, you came for the third time that night, back arching again, Neji's fingers still moving inside you, working you down from your orgasm.      After you came down from the peak, you moved to lay on Neji's chest, your breath coming out more as gasps.    "God, you are absolutely amazing, Neji," you spoke as you moved your head to look at him.    "You're amazing, Y/N." he replied, emphasizing that you were amazing, while implying that he wasn't.    "Oh shush," you giggled, dropping your head back down to his chest.    Neji took one of his hands to your hip, the other resting behind his head. The hand holding you traced patterns across your hips and lower back.  You drifted off to sleep on Neji's chest, loving the feeling of his chest rising and falling with his breathing.    Maybe Neji Hyuga wasn't so bad after all.

~fin~

That was not what I first imagined when I started writing but here we are. SO sorry for the weird carrot joke, but it was part of the prompt I was given so I had to roll with it. Oops. Vote, comment, and suggest ideas if you'd like, it'd really help me out. Thanks so much!!

-Smutty-Chan

*sorry this is very long but i have a bit of a finale headcanon at the end :)*

i’m almost 100% positive that caryl will have an important interaction in the finale. whether it’s canon or something close to it, we’ll get something good for them. the writers wouldn’t leave their relationship how it is right now and especially not when they have the excuse of putting a big caryl moment in a finale. those few seconds of weirdness when carol came back was supposed to be that way, bc we’re supposed to get this feeling that theyve got unfinished business between each other, that no, they’re not on good terms rn and it’s never rly been like this between them before- but it could never stay that way.

further proof that we’ll get something is that carol went back to ASZ to make things right with those she loves, bc “it’s never too late.” considering carol doesn’t open up to her fam much, if at all, kelly is a great first step in this direction. we need to remember that carol probably never opened up to Ed all those years bc it most likely ended in a beating. plus with tobin she wore a mask the entire time, and she never wanted to open up to ezekiel either, which was kinda the cause of their rise and their downfall. zeke never knew the “real carol”, so she was content to live this little fairytale bc she could ignore all these demons in her head. there’s a common theme with carol and wearing these masks, and ending up alone a lot, hence the mention of “lonewolf” from kelly.

IMO, the last person, if not the only person ever, that carol has actually opened up to is daryl. he’s the one person noticing that she’s not being herself, and thus the only one that is caring about that. in 10x14 i think carol realizes this fact. “i could never let that happen.” she knows how important daryl is to her and if she ever wants to get to her real, happy self in the future, she’s gotta go back to daryl and make sure he’s okay, and that their relationship is okay. he’s the only one that really truly knows her, and considering hes one of the first in carol’s life to be this person for her, it’s overwhelming.

the problem now is talking to him. she wants to, and i believe he wants to as well, but it’s carol who’s gotta make the move here. getting thru the nitty gritty with him is so much harder than kelly because she knows him so much better, and she has it engrained in her head that she’s ruined his future and their important bond from her actions, how do you even begin to talk about that ya know? any word i say could ruin this forever, wtf do i even say? she was crying even talking to kelly, with daryl her emotions will be tenfold.

daryls done everything he could to let her know he’s a safe space - and his frustration rn is that she’s still running and not wanting to take him up on his many offers to talk to him- but she needs to decide. talking to kelly is a good baby step to get this courage to talk to him. like oh, maybe all of this turmoil and hatred is coming from my own head, my fam doesn’t actually despise me as much as i think. daryl probably still does, but there’s a chance he may not, maybe i’ll go take the chance.

i’m not sure how this conversation will begin or the circumstances they’ll be in when they do this. (i do think tho that connie will be revealed as dead beforehand) . maybe carol will blurt it out when they’re pushing back a big horde or something, or maybe there’s a moment of quiet in the hospital and they’ll be sitting like they were when carol was hallucinating daryls speech about his dad. i have no idea. but i imagine they’ll say some things like this.

“daryl..do you wanna know why i asked you not to hate me? ive told you before that i cant lose you, but it’s more than just in death. so much more. you’re the person that could bring me back from this. sometimes i get really caught up in this shit but i always seem to come back to you and things get a little better. you don’t have to forgive me for what happened, please don’t. i deserve it. but i just... really need you with me. you’re the last one daryl.. the last one who knows me. i cant be alone with myself.

did anyone ever tell you about what happened to lizzie and mika? *proceeds to choke thru the story and how she’s being plagued by her kids all the time. i imagine daryl begins holding her thru this and she’s talking into his chest/shoulder* I’m a fucking monster daryl. i kill kids and anyone else who’s in my path. dont forgive me for what happened in that cave either. i hate that i didn’t listen to you. i didn’t listen to a word you said and now connies gone. *starts sobbing* you tried so hard for me and i just... ruined everything for you. the one girl you cared about, the future you were fighting for, daryl i’m just so sorry.”

*i imagine there being some silence as daryl lets carol get all her tears out. then daryl starts talking into her hair or something*

“you know you’re not a monster. the farthest thing from it carol. you’ve saved us more times than i can count on my hands, and that includes you killing lizzie. she could’ve hurt even more people, you did the right thing. and you even saved judith over there, look where she is now *points to judith takin a little nap across the room*

you’ve always got the best intentions. nothing you could do would push me away, you need to know that. what hurts the most is you always try to get away from everyone. from me. *looking into her eyes at this point* you think everyone hates you enough to be fine with you gone? carol i can’t lose you as much as you do me... and that’s terrifying. *chuckles* never realize i need you more than when you’re not here. never felt i needed anyone before i met you, honest. *goes back to hugging her to his chest so he can get the courage to say this next part*

you were the first person i tried to find when that cave collapsed. i stayed put in those woods a few days ago waiting, just staring into the dark for you to come back to us. the reason i fought so hard for you to fight for a future is that i wanted you to be here for mine. you’re the only one i can see clearly in it, and if you were dead... god i dunno where i’d be. but you’re the girl i care about. connie was a great friend, but i really just need you. i just... please stay.”

*then i imagine carol carefully moving away from his chest with tears in her eyes and the biggest smile, she wipes his tears a bit and keeps her hand there. they stare at each other for a quick sec then look at each other’s lips, slowly moving in then BOOM cockblock from something and now we have to wait until s11*

sorry this ended up being vv long all in all I HAVE HOPE OK hope y’all are staying healthy and hopefully we don’t have to wait too long for this beauty🥺

as quick as love alarm was progressing compared to other dramas i’ve seen (usually wait ten eps for the first kiss and that’s it) it still seemed,, idk important for the story? n e way.

meteor garden is insanely messy like in the final episode daoming si just mentions everything dong shancai did that makes her so amazing and i honestly forgot they even did some of their things 😳 at one point they went to london and filmed in china town and i was just like ‘oh. i know that place’ and didn’t clock after that 😭

I GOT PEN ON THE BACK OF IT IM SO MAD AT MYSELF ✋✋✋✋✋ but come find me anyway lmao i got a changbin & minho film strip 🤪 can’t have anything nice around here and i learned my lesson the hard way.

i went through a phase when whenever i watched english tv i was like ‘why does this make sense without subs..’ and would be like squinting at the screen until it occurred to me that it was in english.

oh bruh i remember making a bank account the second summer bc my employer was like why tf do you not have a bank account ,, yeesh people had been paying by card for meals and stuff and not cash like the year before. so i made one and then she paid me in cash bc people started paying w cash 😐😑😐😑 i waitress so even though i get anxious about other things, i’m comfortable about waitressing so i am super nice to everyone. i am the designated person who orders for everyone (as long as you point at what you want in case i can’t remember everything i will say it). i know how important it is to be articulated to your server bc if they f up you get mad and they get mad bc ur mad and the chef gets mad bc the server f-ed up and the chef has to cook again and it’s a never ending circle of wishing you’d just gone somewhere else and i hate that. i also get mad at my fam when we go out bc the last time we went out (literally like two years ago now bc covid) there was a guy serving at this place we’re fairly frequent at and i was like maybe he’s training don’t be so mad at him for forgetting things just gently remind him! don’t cuss him out behind his back! there’s so much pressure about not pissing off your colleagues bc there’s a groove they’ve got and you’re just there not wanting to ruin it whilst also meeting customers needs!!

ive been waiting to pass my drivers test for over a year now bc covid has pushed it back and back and back again 😐 i finally get my next test date and i have to ask a different instructor for their car bc my instructor is on annual leave when my test is scheduled. i’m holding it together so i can ask an instructor, buy a car and yeet. the bus is okay but i need my own space sometimes.

i am good w my money im the jungkook of the working class. if there are pots and pans on the go i will take them. free food? count me in. i do have that broke b*tch mindset. although i don’t buy $300 white tshirts i will spend $200 on a day out 😃 and sis,, buy whichever one you like bc of the concept!! it’s always fun seeing the posters (personally i don’t put them up bc how am i gonna have sir johnny suh STARING at me while i get changed,, no THANK YOU) i’ll cry if i ever pull a yuta card bc he looks ✨spicy✨ in all of them.

i think i get what you’re saying about gg’s! boy groups have a wider range. eg, haechan hits those high notes and jeno/mark rap/sing quite low but girl groups can’t. unfortunately i feel like they rely on visuals heavier bc they don’t have the same range bg’s do. itzy are good!! i personally haven’t listen to a lot/watched a lot of their mv’s. i’m more into red velvet for their mv’s. im terrible at watching content so i am slowly working through bts’ content, monsta x’s content and ocassionally nct’s content. im gonna work on mamamoo next 🤞fake fans unite 😔✊✨

it’s so easy to feel invisible here. don’t worry. i’m here to brighten your day! much like a sunflower ~ 🌻

I cant really speak about the importance of the kiss in love alarm since i didnt watch more than the first ep, but i will trust you if you really say so ?? 😳 I WANNA WATCH METEOR GARDEN JUST FOR THE DRAMA DHSNSK

dude dont fucking test me i WILL find your address and i WILL visit you in your sleep and steal all your kpop stuff. MINHO FILM STRIP ??????? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

i still watch english things w eng subtitles sometimes bc my first language isn't english so just in case i dont hear something i can always read it you know djsksk

this is my first job so i didnt have to have bank account before but now that i have it i feel very adult😩✋i am so old. i dont like it.

oh no i hate people that arent polite to waitresses like they are just doing their job and its so hard and stressful and i dont want to make their life harder so im just really anxious abt everything in my life ever.

i'm rooting for you on your driving test !! lets hope you make it after such a long time <3

JUNGKOOK OF THE WORKING CLASS NO- thats actually me. also free samples. give me all of them. also i think its completely justified to spend so much on a night out since its for the memories !! #yolo am i right

I AM SO TEMPTED TO ORDER THE ALBUM NOW 😭💔😭 i actually have my posters on my closet and i change inside the actual closet at all times bc me and my brother share a room, so no one's looking at me thankfully haha. well, i do have bts pics on the warderobe next to my bed as well so they watch me sleep every night but we dont talk about that. YUTA CARD i would cry. he for sure does look spicy half the time of his life.

i dont know that many rv songs (the audacity, i know) but seulgi... ah. i watched the sm new years concert and when she appeared i couldnt keep my eyes off her. i should really listen to more of their songs so if u have any recs i am all ears

thank you for brightening up my day sunflower ily mwah😔❤

|| the second part of this request ! https://birdwonder.tumblr.com/post/189871809395/not-sure-if-youll-allow-this-or-not-but-ill-try

|| i dont feel as tho i made Senku in character or had a chance to really show his character bc i had to rush this before Christmas ended since i saw the request midday ! and it only makes sense to post it on Christmas ! — if only i had my computer, typing would be so much easier :,)

Senku Ishigami | Christmas Tree Decorating

Christmas wasn’t really a thing to the now announced Kingdom of Science as the ideas of Christianity and Paganism weren’t known to them, so the only two who were truly aware of it were you and Senku. You were in love with the holiday and cherished it every yesr while on the other hand it didn’t seem Senku cared for it at all.

‘We don’t have time to celebrate it, [F/N], we have so much to do. The others can learn about it next year.’

That’s what Senku had told you when you suggested celebrating the holiday, and it broke your heart. It was a family tradition in your home to decorate the tree and have a hearty meal before opening presents, something you knew Senku was aware of, and yet he was still denying your wish to appreciate the holiday. It was only for one day too! The Kingdom of Science could survive a day without all the hassle of needing to make technology or some other complicated thing.

Whatever, you didn’t need him!

You went out of your way to kindly ask Kaseki to create a few glass baubles, even though he was completely confused by their use, and borrowed some rope from the village to thin it into thread to tie onto a tree you asked one of the village men to cut down and carry for you.

As soon as the tree was set up beside the lab, you got to work on decorating it. You were a little disappointed that the baubles couldn’t be colourful due to lack of paint, but you were grateful regardless, knowing that there was always next year to make things look better. Besides, the memory of decorating the tree with your loved ones and enjoying yourself mattered more than the actual appearance, even if you wished Senku was there to join you at least.

Sighing, you shook your head. You didn’t need him! You were having fun all by yourself, as much of a lie that was.

You had finished quickly since the amount of baubles you owned were limited and you didn’t want to ask for more or anything else from Kaseki, especially when he was already working hard for more important causes. Really though, it didn’t look too bad! It wasn’t like you couldn’t sit by it with a warm, toasty fire with your new friends and teach them some carols. With all your hear, you really hoped they would join you or else Christmas would feel like a complete bust.

Still, you wished there was one more thing you could add to it - a tree topper. It didn’t matter what it was; a star, an angel, a bow or even something strange like a pig, you just really wanted a final piece to make the tree a Christmas tree. Sadly, you didn’t have the skills to make anything of the sort, or even the resources.

“Not too shabby. Kind of on the dull side but you really made something of it,” a voice spoke from behind you, alerting you instantly. You tried to turn around to find the source yet was annoyingly stopped by a hand holding onto your waist from behind. Luckily for you, the head of the source of the backhanded compliment peaked over from your shoulder, revealing Senku’s smirk and red eyes.

“Senku? What are you doing here?” You raised a brow, huffing a little with an unintentionally salty attitude. It was a little late for him to come join you and if he was here to remind you how pointless this was well... You’d just shut him up!

The hand on your waist began to tighten it’s grip, reminding you of it’s placement whilst making your breath catch in your throat. It seemed a little forward for someone like the science geek, someone who didn’t seem to show much interest in anyone unless their name was ‘science.’

“H- Hey! What are you trying to do here?!” You could only pray that it wasn’t obvious you were taken back by Senku’s movements, though you doubted it seeing as Senku was not only the smartest man in the village, but maybe even the whole world. Before and after the petrifying incident.

Senku raised a brow as though he wasn’t sure what you meant however, talking as though the meaning behind his actions was obvious. “Can’t you tell? I’m putting the star on the tree.”

‘Huh, star?’ You echoed in your head, now looking as unsure as your science fanatic friend. You hadn’t made a star, and there was no replacement for one either lying around so what was he going on about?

Then, something in your brain pieced everything together. His hand, your waist...

“Senku! That’s so- wow. I didn’t expect something like that from you.” Were you blushing? You think you were. Oh god, oh god. This was so sudden. You hadn’t expected something so sweet from him at all honestly, not that it wasn’t appreciated. Did he see you like that then? As in, more than a friend? This was really making your head spin.

Your silence and awkward expression only made Senku more confused, which he hated to admit to himself. Stepping to the side, his hand moved away from your waist and his whole body was revealed to you, including his other hand that held a glass star in his hand, a small snowflake design engraved into it.

This made your mistake dawn upon you. ‘Oh! He meant a literal star this whole time. Haha, whoops.’

“Ah, sorry! I thought you had meant something else! I’m so sorry, I don’t know what was going on in my head!” You blurted out, frantically waving your hands around until Senku placed a hand onto your shoulder so your whole body would hit pause.

“Don’t worry about it. I admittedly don’t really know what you thought I meant but I’m sure we can forget about it,” Senku assured, a small smile tugging on his lips. You really did have to appreciate his kindness, it was so unfair for you not to.

The moody attitude you had previously faded away and you completely forgot about the reason behind it too. “Anyways, I’m sure you’ll be happy to know that old man Kaseki and I used the power of science to make a star for your Christmas tree! We didn’t have the time to make paint so hopefully this is enough, it fits your glass decoration theme you got going at least.”

The blond held up the star into the sky like he was a video game character who had obtained a special item, a prideful grin stretching across his face as your eyes widened at the sight of it. The fact he had gone out of his busy way to make you one was so sweet, especially when he was so against spending any time on Christmas. Tears were close to spilling from your eyes and you leapt forwards to pull Senku into a tight hug, crying out a thousand ‘thank you’s.

“Thank you so much, Senku! I really thought you were going to leave me all alone to spend Christmas this year or at least distance yourself from the group when I invited them! I’m so sorry I doubted you!” Your tight hug almost made Senku wheeze, a small rub on your back showing his return of a hug.

The moment you let go, he returned to his nonchalant mannerisms and scratched his cheek while he spoke, acting as though he hadn’t almost been killed by a suffocating hug, “hehe, it’s really no big deal. We all worked hard this year so I thought a break would be perfect for them all, and I’m sure teaching them about Christmas would be pretty exciting.”

You nodded in agreement to that and jumped up, bouncing up with maxed out energy. “Yeah, you’re right! We can sing songs, roast marshmallows, give gifts, sit by the tree,” your own words then reminded you the whole reason as to why Senku had appeared, cursing yourself for forgetting. “The star, we haven’t put it up yet!”

“Oh right,” Senku mused, handing the decoration over which you took by placing your hand over his, meaning that he couldn’t move his hand away. He was about to question your actions when you used your free hand to pull him closer, surprising him momentarily while you began to lead both of your hands to the top of the tree. “If the star goes up, we should both do it,” you explained, wanting to show that you were not only grateful for the star but also your friendship entirely. After all, without Senku you wouldn’t have woken up from petrification and you wouldn’t have had all the fun with your new friends either.

“Sounds fine to me,” he agreed, the two of you content with fingers interlocking as you both reached up to finish off the minimalistic yet treasured tree.

Lelouch

Why I like them: Lelouch is a really, really complicated character, but he’s a wonderfully complicated character. I love how deep he goes. I love writing him too, it’s so much fun to see how everything he’s gone through actually affects him. There aren’t that many characters I know that are actually constructed as well as Lelouch is (outside CG, that is). So yeah. Also, have you looked at him? That boy is beautiful as fuck and rocks dresses better than I, a female presenting person who feels the most comfortable in dresses and skirts, do. “I saw a man so beautiful I started crying” really fits Lelouch.  Why I don’t: Uh, well, since I love Lelouch it’s a little hard to answer the question, but perhaps it’s that he’s absolutely horrible at taking others’ feelings into consideration and yeah. He’s also quick to sacrifice people around him until they actually become important to him, which is like, yes, understandable considering the environment he grew up in, but also “Lelouch what the fuck no.” Favorite episode (scene if movie): The moment he announces he’s now the emperor is definitely among my favourite ones (I’ve rewatched it perhaps a few too many times), as is the episode where he falls from the roof totally on purpose and Re; (bc srsly Zero Requiem is something too beautiful I can’t--). Favorite season/movie: Second season without a question, still have only watched the first of the movies so,,,, Favorite line: Nooo I cannot choose I love so many lines that he has...... I’ll just give you a few. “When will the war end? When someone wins”, “To defeat evil, I must become an even greater evil”, and “I must spill yet more blood, so that the blood already spilt will not be in vain.” Those at least are absolutely amazing.  Favorite outfit: I love basically any that isn’t his Zero outfits bc gold and purple don’t fit that well together. They’re good, yes, but having to see them on him so much is kinda ugh (unless his jacket is open bc then it looks better and also the new Zero outfit in Re;surrection is good). Like ok I do like the Zero outfit but still. Anyway. Here are some I love. 

Please let me love you.

OTP: Uh. SuzaLulu. It has not changed since the last time we talked about this. Brotp: In general my favourite platonic ship for him is just him and Nunnally because I love me some cute siblings being siblings, but actual brotp would probably be him and Kallen or him and C.C. because honestly we know that he and C.C. really, truly care about each other (regardless of how bad they are at expressing it for most of the series). Please give me content of C.C. and Lelouch being best friends and being up to No Good and causing chaos (but like, no bloodshed chaos, nothing harmful). Head Canon: Lelouch was actually good friends with Anya (as was Nunnally) when they were children (though realised this far too late and that’s why he considers Suzaku his first friend anyway) and secretly hopes he could get her to come to his side because that’s another dear childhood friend fighting him on Britannia’s side. Also considers Milly more of a sister than any of his actual sisters aside from Nunnally, Euphie and Cornelia. Unpopular opinion: Again, not sure if it’s an unpopular opinion at this point anymore, but what Lelouch did was not right. He did what he thought was necessary, but even he himself knew that what he was up to was wrong, evil, so yeah.   A wish: Hey let’s get him to therapy as well he needs it just about as much as Suzaku does ok I want to see him getting better like actually better An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen: Please let’s not have him lose one single loved one anymore like,,, he’s lost far too many, either to death or bc he doesn’t know how to keep people. Like, Shirley? Dead. Rolo? Dead. Kallen? Hurt her (if mostly to save her life and give her another chance) so badly she left him, and Lelouch is dead (yes I’m mostly ignoring Re;surrection completely). C.C.? Again, Lelouch is dead. Suzaku? Lelouch is dead (also hurt him so badly that their friendship was, well. Not beyond repair but these two idiots are so horrible at repairing their friendship that one killing the other did nothing good to their chances). Rivalz? Again, hurt him and also Lelouch is dead. Milly? Still, Lelouch is dead and she was left with only the certain knowledge he was the Demon Emperor (even if she might believe otherwise bc she knew him). Euphie? Dead. Nunnally? Lelouch is still dead ok and for the last few months of his life she was basically manipulated into hating him and believing he didn’t love her or care about her, by both Schneizel and Lelouch himself. The Black Knights (while not loved ones, they were important)? Betrayed him. You know, I think it’s starting to look like this should not happen to anyone, let alone an 18-year-old damnit. 5 words to best describe them: Petty, dramatic, caring, revengeful, intelligent. My nickname for them: Lulu (as one may guess), ‘Louch (as seen in a few fics of mine, such as Tides Brought to You), and also Bitch, This Petty Fucking Bitch, and This Arrogant Gorgeous Asshole. 

...Do the last four even count as nicknames?