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here2bbtstrash · 2 years

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Can u make an oneshot of junkook and yn having rough jealousy sex??

WELP this was a really fun one 🥴🥴 hope all you JK hoes enjoy~*~

i'm gonna stop asking for freaky reqs because i already have enough to write for the next million years probably 😂😂😂 i REALLY appreciate how many of you have sent stuff in!!! i'm having (probably too much) fun with this. y'all are truly the BEST 💜

pairing: jungkook x reader wordcount: 1.9k oops contains: established relationship, perilla-leaf based jealousy (i had to don't @ me), jungkook and reader are fucking dramatic and honestly mean to each other, discussions of imagined infidelity bc reader is a b-r-a-t 💀, a lot of physical aggression, ppl get thrown around, breast/thigh/pussy/ass/FACE slapping 😳, biting/marking, reader put her thang down flipped it and reversed it (and surprised EVEN ME), unprotected sex, minor cervix ramming lol, is this hot???? is it toxic???? is jungkook a cuck?????? much 2 consider 🤔

“I’m surprised you didn’t walk out of the restaurant holding Jimin’s hand.”

Your boyfriend has been pouting all night.

“You can tell me if you’re in love with him now.”

He has not stopped since you got in the car to drive home from dinner.

“Just make sure you invite me to the wedding.”

It is driving you up the fucking wall.

“Jungkook!” You snap as you slam the fridge door shut, having just tucked the container of leftovers inside. “It was a fucking perilla leaf! Get over it!”

“How am I supposed to get over the fact that you’re going to leave me for Jimin?!”

Your eyes roll back in your head so hard you swear you see your brain. You have to take a long, slow inhale to fight off the desire to choke him out in the middle of your kitchen.

“I’m not talking to you when you’re like this,” you say, attempting to feign serenity over the rage simmering inside of you. “Go to the gym or something, and call me when you calm the fuck down.” You don’t wait for him to answer before you storm off down the hallway to your bedroom.

You don’t even have to turn around to know that Jungkook is hot on your heels, and when you make it to your room, you hear the door slam behind him.

“You just want me to leave so Jimin can come over and fuck you, and you can start your new life together.”

When you whip around, you find yourself face-to-face with your boyfriend. His cheeks are flushed from the wine you shared with his friends at dinner, and he’s sweating a little, bangs sticking slightly to his forehead. You hate that he looks so good, all the time, even like this.

“You’re being a fucking baby.”

A muscle in Jungkook’s jaw jumps at your words. Now his voice is deadly serious, too, nearly a growl. “I am not a baby. I am twenty-six.”

“Well, for your big age, you sure are fucking stupid.”

You turn around to march back out of the room, beyond done with his antics, but just as you pull the door open, his palm is there, slamming it back shut with enough force that it rattles in the frame.

“What did you just say?” Jungkook’s voice is low in your ear. When you turn to look at him, your cheek digs into the door as his hips press flush against your ass. You realize as he grinds on you that he is fully, probably painfully erect; you can feel his dick straining against his pants.

You shiver a little at the thought of how he might punish you for your words, and then you spit them at him again. “I said. You’re fucking. Stupid.”

The breath is knocked out of your lungs, and you can only squeak as he wraps an arm around your waist, turning around and throwing you down onto the bed so hard you bounce against the mattress like a ragdoll. You barely manage to sit up before he’s on top of you, legs straddling you, his hips pinning yours in place.

You can feel your panties already starting to soak through, and suddenly calming your boyfriend down is the furthest thing from your mind.

“You’re right, Jungkook,” you say, and his eyes are wide when his head snaps up to look at you. He clearly wasn’t expecting those words. “Maybe I should fuck your friends.”

His hands come to your breasts, pulling down the top of your dress and your bra beneath it simultaneously, and your exposed tits bounce from the aggressive movement. The action only encourages you.

“Jimin would be so gentle and loving. He wouldn’t fucking rough me up like you do.” You choke on a gasp when Jungkook’s tattooed hand cracks down over your breast, pain sparking through you like a shot in the arm. His eyes burn with intensity when he meets your gaze, but you refuse to back down. “He’d take care of me, just like he did tonight.” Jungkook slaps your other breast, forcefully enough to grunt with effort as he does it.

You’re sure you’ll see the outline of his hand there tomorrow, and your core throbs at the thought. It might be fucked up, but you like the marks he leaves. You want more.

“And H-Hoseok,” you start, and your voice shakes as you try to get the name out because Jungkook has just brought his mouth to your neck, right under your jaw, and is now starting to suck hard. It nearly feels like he’s devouring you, dragging blood to the surface to bruise purple beneath the delicate skin there. “He’s so trusting, he’d let me do whatever I want, ngh–”

You’re cut off mid-sentence by your own moan when Jungkook repeats the same process at the point where your neck and shoulder meet, where he knows you’re extra-sensitive, and you writhe under him.

“Fuuuuck,” you whine, your head kicking back against the mattress.

When you hear him give a soft, triumphant laugh against your skin, it renews your conviction. You try again. “Yeah, Hoseok wouldn’t be so fucking possessive, because he’s not an insecure baby.”

Jungkook bites down on your shoulder, simultaneously bringing two fingers to tweak one of your stiffened nipples, and you let out a strangled cry as a fresh wave of arousal floods your pussy. His other hand moves as he does it, roughly shoving up your dress to expose your lower half, so he can see your drenched panties, your thighs that are now slick with your own wetness.

“Don’t stop now,” he growls, and then he sinks his teeth into the soft skin of your upper thigh and your head spins.

“Fuck, Jungkook!” You gasp, clawing at the bedsheets.

Quick enough to give you whiplash, he releases his mouth and replaces it with another swift slap, the flesh of your thigh rippling under his hand. “Who else?”

The built-up pressure in your core is enough to make your upper body tremble as you press yourself onto your forearms, leaning up so you can look him in the eye. “Yoongi,” you say, your voice severe, and Jungkook slaps your thigh again, hard enough to make your jaw clench while his mouth shifts up to suck an angry mark into your hip bone.

“I bet Yoongi would love to fuck me with his thick cock,” you hiss.

The thin, soaked-through fabric of your panties does very little to dull the sensation when Jungkook’s hand cracks directly over your cunt. The sweet sting, pleasure and pain, is enough to make your head tip back as you groan. You spread your legs in a silent plea for more, and he does it again, harder.

Your mind is starting to swim a little, overwhelmed with animalistic desire, but when Jungkook shifts to crawl back up your body, you don’t miss the opportunity.

Too fast for him to react, you tighten your legs around his waist and use all the energy you can muster to throw yourself to one side, taking him with you. You let the excess momentum and soft bounce of the mattress beneath you propel you up to your knees, leaving Jungkook flat on his back and you straddling his hips.

He can’t quite hide the impressed look on his face, and you take a moment to revel in the way he bites down on his bottom lip, wide eyes blinking up at you.

Then you reach between your legs to tug your panties to the side with one hand, fish his cock out of his pants with the other, and sink down on him in one swift movement.

“Oh, fuck,” Jungkook groans, and you have to whimper a little, too, at the stretch of him inside you. You circle your hips, enjoying the way his cock twitches as you grind down on him. When he leans back against the mattress, arching up to match your movements, you bring a hand to grip his jaw, forcing him to meet your gaze.

“Tell me whose pussy this is,” you command, and Jungkook nearly spits the word back at you.

“Mine.”

You reward him with another roll of your hips. “Louder, baby. Like you mean it.”

“It’s my fucking pussy,” he growls, punctuated with a slap to your ass, but you can already tell he’s starting to lose himself to your movements. You can see his eyes rolling back in his head. “Made for me.”

Both of Jungkook’s hands drop to cup your ass, encouraging you to go faster. Determined, you flatten your feet against the mattress so you can properly start to bounce on his dick.

“Not Jimin’s.” You lift up as high as you can, nearly losing your grip on him, then slam back down so hard you feel the head of his cock ram against your cervix, making you gasp a little. Jungkook moans loudly at the feeling, hips bucking beneath you. “Not Hoseok’s.” You repeat the motion, and he’s even louder, his breathing ragged now. “Not Yoongi’s.” You bounce a final time and the noise Jungkook makes is more like a sob.

“Shit, shit,” he whines. You still have a hand on his jaw, and you shake his head side to side, enough to get him to focus on you again.

“It’s yours,” you say softly, and the tone of your voice is a stark contrast to the harsh slap you deliver to his face. “So fucking act like it.”

It’s enough to send him into overdrive. His fingers dig so hard into the soft skin of your hips that you cry out, and then he’s fucking up into you, stroking so fast and deep that pleasure coils hot inside of you, threatening to burst.

“So fucking wet and tight,” he gasps, “just for me, just for me,” and the way he pounds into your g-spot over and over is suddenly all too much.

“Fuck, Jungkook,” you moan, gripping his thighs with both hands, your nails digging into his skin as you squeeze tight around him. “I’m gonna come, baby, yes.” Your walls begin to flutter, pulsing over and over, and you can feel his cock twitching as you milk his orgasm out with yours.

Jungkook keeps rutting into you, thrusting through your climax as he follows after you, words now slurring together. “Yeah, come on this cock, come just for me, oh god, oh fuck–”

With a final strangled cry, you feel him empty his release into you, your cunt shuddering with oversensitivity as he fills you up. You’re still breathing hard when his hands press into your ass, gently guiding you down to your side on the mattress next to him, his softening cock slipping out of you as you move.

You lay like that for a minute, heart slamming in your chest, eyes dropping shut as you attempt to recover. Cum is definitely starting to leak out of you and stain the sheets beneath you, but you can’t find a fuck to give about it right now.

You eventually feel the bed shift as Jungkook rolls over, pulling you close to him with a soft grunt. He presses a gentle kiss to your hairline, and you can feel him smile a little before he speaks.

“I will admit, I may have overreacted.”

#jungkook smut #jungkook x reader #bts smut #bts x reader #anonymous

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fy-wonwoo · 5 months

Text

240105 shingong (shin pd) instagram update:

Finally today’s the first broadcast

I’m just rambling about a few things

If I feel like kicking myself (from embarrassment) later, I’ll quietly delete.. ㅎㅎ

Of the years I’ve been a PD, this is the program that had the highest production cost ㅎㅎ

We went at peak season so it was hard to even get plane tickets.. and the expenses in Italy were higher than I could’ve ever imagined

And the special tourist spots cost 10million Korean won to get permission for even simple filming ^^;

And (it wasn’t) just the filming but post filming costs (too).

There were additional production costs due to the long length of the program. Music copyrights (especially foreign music ㅜ)

As a result, the production cost came out to 10billion Korean won (around $7.6 million USD), something that I could’ve ever imagined in my life..

You may ask where did you use all that money but the costs.. ㅎㅎ were very high ㅜ very very high ㅜ

Even when we get PPLs, it was only a small portion of the production costs ㅎㅎㅎ

(I heard there’s a lot of programs that cost 10billion korean won, but it’s because it’s my first time using this muchㅜㅎ)

You may see a lot of areas that are lacking but I hope it’s fun. I hope it feels like you’re on a trip together (with seventeen) and I hope seventeen, these good friends/people, feel a little more friendly (to you). I hope that you see and know that they’re so kind and funny. And all the while, they’re amazing idols that are good at their job & I hope people would talk about that.

Instead of 4 letters, I hope they’d just automatically know Scoupsㅎ

I have a lot of hopes

First, this project has to do well so that there can be a next ㅜ

More than the viewer rates, I want to be greedy and hope it’s a hot topic or that it can set records in other meaningful ways.

While preparing, these 13 members…

To whoever watches this programs I would like for you to remember their names one by one

With that desire, we took the idea from music program rehearsals and discussed it with our marketing team to make shirts with their names on it. So that whenever you watch the program, their names would be featured on TV.

So that in the beginning of the program, anyone can easily know. Even if the members call each other by their real name, we put captions based on their stage name.

If there were moments where we had to put ㅇㅇㅇ&ㅁㅁㅁ, instead of the age order we (wrote) ordered it by how they come out on the screen so it could align

We worked really hard so that carats could see a familiar but new side of the members, and for those who are just getting to know seventeen, (I tried) to show a balanced side of these friends so that (they) can get to know them in a kind/friendly manner. I tried but idk if it worked well ㅜㅜ

After the broadcast ends, no matter what ratings the production team gets, I hope that SEVENTEEN’s laughter and sincerity remains

This is all I want to talk about

Tonight, Nana tour begins their trip. The rest of the stories will be told through the program so please watch with warm hearts^^ thank you in advance ♡

trans

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letstalkaboutfandomsbaby · 2 years

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Sunny 🥺 what if Iwa met you somewhere lowkey like in line at a coffee shop and he was like "hey this is weird but I swear I recognize your voice from somewhere." And you just start giggling because there's only one place he could know your voice from and he turns bright red when you tell him what you do and it turns out you're his favorite audio pornstar. He's trying not to be weird about it but you're so much prettier than he could've imagined (and he did) and oh shit now you're flirting with him and he knows what you sound like when you cum but he can barely offer to buy you your coffee but somehow he ends up walking away with your number? And eventually you tell him that your wrists are tired from using toys, does he wanna come over and help you record a new audio?

It works out perfect because he's really quiet while you're recording and it ends up being your most popular piece. Until the next time you have him over to record, that is. But don't worry, he makes up for how quiet he has to be once the mic is turned off and you let him finish with you -rosie

Rosie. You put these beautiful thoughts in my head and i get a headache from all the brainrot jesus CHRIST

CW: gn reader, fluff, smut, audio porn, not beta read bc fuck that sksksk

Oh but imagine it: big strong handsome Iwaizumi who everyone assumes gets pussy left and right but really this guy is so AWKWARD. He's too shy to flirt properly and he clams up when he's around someone he likes—that's why he's resorted to jerking off to audio porn, he gets too nervous talking to ppl and hearing their lovely voices.

God, and it was hard enough just talking to a pretty thing like you but when he finds out what you do? When he realizes that you're the source of the angelic voice he's been jerking off to for months? He wishes he could just evaporate on the spot 💀 he's been cumming to your voice for so long, just hearing you giggle gets him bricked up :( he's almost mad that you're exactly his type, if you weren't everything he's ever dreamed then maybe he wouldn't be so nervous and awkward while he tries talking to you. He feeks like he's dreaming when you take the lead and start flirting with him, coming on to him and making his head spin. No way the person whose voice makes him tremble and cream is actually interested in him—

Oh but then you're taking his phone and adding your number and putting a heart by your contact name and you retrieve your coffee and leave. He has to keep checking his contacts on his phone to make sure he's not dreaming bc none of this seems real. He nervously texts you, worried he'll make a fool of himself, but surprisingly the two of you hit it off without any problems. Your conversations flow naturally and he finda himself more and more comfortable talking to you. Ofc he was attracted to your voice and looks in the beginning, but he finds himself falling for your personality, his heart fluttering each time you text.

And then you text him about your toys, how your wrists are so tired from overuse, how you could really use some help creating a new audio, and suddenly he's bolting out the door, condoms stuffed in his back pocket. He reaches your home in record time, fueled by adrenaline and desire, and his feelings only grow stronger when you open the door in just a satin robe.

When i say yall fuck like animals, im talkin nonstop, feral, putting a dent in the drywall with your headboard kinda shit sksksk. Iwa doesn't have a lot of experience under his belt, but GOD do you fuel his stamina, he just can't get enough of you. You're already louder bc you're recording your voice, but it feels like you're even more enthusiastic while he pounds into you. He's never heard your voice hitch like that or those hiccups or squeaks, that's all bc of him, of how he's making you feel, and he's eating it all up.

He's a quiet lover, but he struggles not to groan once he finally cums, electing to bite your shoulder instead, making you cry out in the most blissful way. He eventually releases you, pulling out, helping you turn off your equipment before he holds you close, sighing with content. He's high on cloud nine, he's never felt so good in his entire life, he can't let something so good leave now—

"Do you wanna go out sometime, like to a movie or dinner?" You prop yourself up and look at him.

"You mean like a date?" He blushes, suddenly nervous all over again.

"Y-Yeah, like a date..." His stomach flips when you smile.

"Yeah. I'd love to."

#ask #smut #iwaizumi #fluff #gn reader #luv u rosie mwah #rosie 🥀#☀️ asks

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missiodei · 1 year

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im not rly sure where to start, but ngl im a liiiittle curious abt erouta if u have more info abt him to share?

Weird First Pick ik, or maybe not given a lot of the themes here, Jshfbs

orrr if there's anyone else more active or who you'd like to use? :>c i love to listen to ppl talk abt ocs,

Erouta is honestly one of my favorite boys on this blog tbh. I always have active muse for him and would love for him to have more friends. He's a really sweet boy, just with an avid interest in gore/guro and death for purely aesthetic reasons. He started making pastries when he was younger and made it into a profession to combine his interests. As inspiration for his next line of cakes and treats, he often hangs around morgues or crime scenes sketching out the varying levels of decay, but he can also as easily be found in fields of flowers for similar references.

He is very cheery and I imagine someone can find him to be almost annoyingly optimistic; he has no fear even when being threatened (anymore, thanks to Credan), and seems to ignore warnings about dangerous places. He tries to be friends with those he finds interesting but also won't turn down a friendship from other trolls if they approach him. Loves to give his friends free desserts if they like sweets and is great at cooking other things too. He loves company.

After meeting Credan, he got mixed up into a lot of illegal/blackmarket dealings because he was terrified of him but also ended up falling in love with him. So currently as an addition to his bakery business, he runs errands for Creed which usually involve him having to kill someone or take things from other trolls. This is something he normally would not participate in if it wasn't for his desire to please Credan honestly, as before and outside of this he would generally avoid harming others. He is part of the purple caste, though his blood is so dark it's always looked nearly black. This put him and his brother in good standing with the occult even if they never cared for or followed the subjugglator religion. His cursed third eye is a result of being corrupted by his older brother, whose body was taken over by a cosmic entity. It is a manifestation of his interest in death/guro, and the reason why he has to keep it closed - gazing into his third eye causes trolls to mutilate themselves in extremely graphic yet sensual manners and always results in death. He is actually afraid of what his brother has become, though luckily the two don't cross paths much.

#erouta #quiescent-trolls

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ri-ahhh · 3 years

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Can we have some sexy time with gray that stars out rough but ends up soft and cute🥺

I’m gonna make it a continuation of this concept bc low key it’s one of my faves and yk.. why not.

Also I was gonna try to finish this on my laptop so I could put the keep reading break so I don’t clog ppls dashes but tumblr never fucking works on there and I couldn’t do it :/ sorry

A/N: hi hello just finished writing this and it turned out to be garbage but I wanted to post something for the ppl asking. If you are one of those ppl I’m sorry for this haha truly it was just the best I could do for now.

***

For the first half of the ride home, Grayson’s hand doesn’t leave your thigh. You can feel the tension still brewing in him in the way his calloused fingers grip the soft, bare skin; in the heavy sighs he releases every few minutes and the sudden revs of the engine as he speeds down the highway.

His lingering frustrations at the situation that happened in the mall make you smile softly, and you interlace your fingers with the ones stroking your thigh. Eyes big and sympathetic, you bring the back of his hand to your lips. “Baby, relax,” your murmur against his skin quietly. “It’s okay. I’m fine.”

Grayson shakes his head and glances at you as he pulls your joined hands into his lap. “I fuckin hate guys like that. Can’t believe he put his hands on you.”

“He touched you?” Ethan piped up from the backseat, voice incredulous. “Oh, fuck that. If that has been K...”

The short remainder of the car ride was filled with the twins loud, enthusiastic rants about douchebag chauvinistic men who have no respect for women. It warms your heart, makes your chest fill with pride at the thought of how good your man really is. You squeeze his hand and stroke his arm gently, dragging your nails up and down the veins popping out from the stress and anger he’s both somehow releasing, but also still carrying.

The three of you make it home, and Ethan is immediately hopping out of the car with his shopping bags, eager to see his girlfriend and show her what he had bought her while she had been out with friends. Grayson’s jaw is clenched as the two of you follow his brother inside, and you make your way immediately to his room; you think you know exactly what he needs to get rid of that last bit of well-intended machismo energy he’s got in him.

Sure enough, Grayson shuts the door behind him with a little more force than he really intended, tosses all the shopping bags he had carried in for you to the ground, and wraps those strong arms around your waist in all of two seconds of the door being locked. You giggle and let him hoist you up, wrapping your legs around his waist and cupping his stubbled cheeks in your hands gently to bring your lips together.

He walks the two of you to his bed and lays you down as gently as he can while you’re still clinging to him, mouths never separating as he captures your lips over and over again in hot, relentless kisses. When your back hits the mattress, you moan softly and hitch your leg higher up his side, his hand sliding to your ass and grabbing a handful of it through your shorts.

“I need you,” he says gruffly between kisses, panting heavily. He squeezes your cheek again, and uses his grip to haul your hips closer to his while simultaneously lowering some of his weight onto you. You can feel the hard ridge of him against your center, and it makes you gasp. “Can I, please?”

“Yeah, baby,” you agree easily, almost as desperate for Grayson now as he is for you. He’s sexy and kind and good and you love him, and you imagine the scenario of some girl running her hands on those thick arms you love so much, or the swell of his abs over his shirt, and you realize the healthy possessiveness very much runs both ways. Your blood runs hot, and you slip your hands under his shirt to feel the rippling planes of his back. “Want you so bad.”

He growls, deep and primal, and you bite your lip as he sits up and whips his shirt over his head by the collar. It gets tossed blindly to the corner of his room, and you’re instantly reaching out to run your hands over all those muscles covered by soft, tan skin.

Grayson sighs and lets you indulge for a few moments, his lips quirking up at the corners for a quick second and ruining that sexy scowl as he watches you admire him.

“Fuck,” he mumbles. His big, warm hands cup your hips, and he shuffles down some as he slides your oversized shirt up so your stomach becomes exposed for him — supple skin that’s just begging to be kissed.

So he does. His lips are soft and a little wet from the kisses you had shared just a minute ago, but they’re hot and insistent as he makes his way up your torso. Goosebumps flare in their wake, and you shudder beneath his smirk. Grayson pushes your shirt up further, just beneath your bra now, fingers shifting grips from the dips of your waist to the ridges of your rib cage now.

You don’t need words to know what he wants, so you lift your arms overhead the second he bunches the shirt up past your tits. His tongue drags over your sternum once it’s thrown across the room, then he’s swiping it over the buds of your nipples peaking through the sheer mesh of your bra.

Your back arches up into him with a gasp, fingers delving into his thick hair as he grunts and tugs the cups of your bra aside to free your tits for him. Your nipples tighten even more, damp from his tongue and now completely exposed to the cool air of his room — not to mention, the way he’s looking at you right now has every nerve ending in your body excited.

His pretty hazel irises, usually so soft and comforting, are consumed now by the dark of his pupils, despite the warm sunlight shining through the window. Those smoldering eyes stay locked on yours as he ducks his head to suck your left nipple into his hot, wet mouth, his hand kneading your other breast roughly.

“Love your tits,” he huffs against you after a minute of making you writhe beneath him. His tongue trails to the center of your chest, and he nuzzles your cleavage, breathing in the sweet smell of your skin. His stubble scratches against the plush, delicate flesh there, but it’s a mere second before he’s switching breasts to give each the opposite treatment.

You lose his eyes when he shuts them to really absorbe the touch and taste of you, but you don’t mind when he smells so good and feels so familiar and uses those lips and tongue and fingers so fucking good. You whimper and clutch him even closer to you than he already is, perfectly content to have him suck at your tits for as long as he pleases. The feel of him big and heavy and warm on top of you is as relaxing as it is arousing, being so consumed by the sensations of him up top while his erection fits snugly against your pussy.

“Grayson,” you whisper desperately. He looks up at you, and you’re taken by the softness behind the desire in his gaze. He follows the tug on his hair you give to drag him up for a kiss, and you both sigh happily into one another’s mouths when they reconnect. It goes without saying that you could kiss this man forever.

You tighten your legs around his waist and and urge him to rock his hips into yours. Grayson obliges readily, a quiet grunt escaping his lips as he starts grinding into you. His hand returns to your ass, holding you against him for the perfect leverage while he sucks on your tongue and tries to find the right angle to put just the right pressure on your clit.

It’s like any moment of softness and slowness gives him time to remember what got the two of you here this afternoon in the first place, and the ravenous energy from before picks right back up. You’re definitely not complaining by the ebb and flow of everything; it only heightens your own desperation for him, to know he cares so much and wants you to the point of making you cum just from some heavy dry humping.

As if he can read your mind (or maybe you his), Grayson pulls away from the kiss and drags his free hand up your thigh, squeezes your waist, and punches your nipple on his way to grip your cheeks gently but firmly in those strong, calloused fingers. He makes sure you’re looking him dead in the eye again when he tells you in a deep, rumbly voice, “Wanna make you cum in these fucking shorts. Can you cum for me, baby?”

You nod as best you can in his grasp, shifting your head enough to slip his pointer finger into your mouth. You watch him watch you suck it, his hips pressing harder into yours as the pleasure and overall arousal turns up for both of you. His cheeks are flushed and his chain dangles between you, glinting in the sun and reflecting bright spots on the tan skin of his pecs.

A moan escapes you, vibrating around his finger before you add the middle one for a few moments, too. You let him push them down your tongue until the tips touch the back of your throat, and you pull them out with a slight gag and a seductive smile.

“Make me cum,” you murmur hotly, guiding his hand between your bodies and slipping it past your waistband — leaving the shorts with that little logo on the leg on, just as he requested. “I’m so close already, Gray. Please.”

Grayson moans himself and shifts his weight so you’re flat on your back and he’s hovering over you with a hand planted next to your pillow. He touches your pussy for the first time this whole afternoon just as you arch your back to reach beneath you and unhook your bra.

You fling the useless garment across the room and grab immediately onto his forearm by your head, the other clutching the sheets in attempts to ground yourself from the sudden surge in pleasure emanating from your clit. Grayson circles it a couple of times before sliding one, then two, fingers to the hilt.

“Jesus, you’re so fucking wet, baby,” he groans. You can only nod and moan, then cry out his name when he curls his fingers just right and finds your spot, like he knew right where to look and wanted to waste no time getting to it. He latches onto your neck, sucking a bruise into your pulse point while he builds that wave inside you. His fingers don’t pump in and out, but stay hooked on that spot that’s making you moan and whine, using his wrist to vary the pressure on it until you’re absolutely losing it, exploding on his hand with broken whimpers of his name.

You’re still high in the sky when he sucks his fingers in his mouth with an appreciative moan and tugs off your shorts finally, then his own, before crawling back on top of you. Naked together and still riding the lingering aftermath of that orgasm, you hum contentedly and accept the hot, desperate kiss he pulls you into.

“Wanna fuck you. Need to fuck you,” he mumbles against your lips, already reaching between you to rub the tip of his dick up and down your soaking wet folds. Even though you’re still sensitive and satisfied, almost nothing can bring you back to a stare of pure arousal like when he teases your hole like that — so close but not enough. It awakens this primal, incessant feeling of absolutely needing to be filled up, and you can’t wait anymore.

You thread your fingers through the back of his hair and arch your hips to encourage him to slip inside, which he finally does with a guttural groan.

“Fuckin give it to me, Gray,” you say once he has a steady rhythm built up. It’s not enough for either of you today, though, and you both know it. You need closer, hotter, harder, more.

Grayson looks wild, his hair sticking up in all directions from your wandering hands, eyes dark but bright, a thin sheen of sweat illuminating ever ridge and valley of muscles on his torso. He doesn’t give you much more time to look, however, as he hooks your knees over his elbows and leans down over your body.

You wrap your arms around his shoulders and he tucks his face against your own as he starts pounding, his balls slapping against you ass with every hard thrust. The angle is catching you just right and the sharp, pleasurable pain of his teeth sinking into your collarbone only brings everything to a new level. His quiet but audible grunts and moans float right to your ear, the best sounds in the world as he delivers exactly what you asked for.

“I’m gonna cum,” you whine, digging your nails into the sinews of his back. Grayson keeps driving into you with renewed purpose, absolutely set on getting you there again with nothing more than his cock.

“Yes, baby, please,” he begs, groaning loudly when he feels you start to clamp down on him. “That’s it... all over my dick... pussy feels so goddamn good.”

You should be sleepy and beyond satisfied at this point, but his heated words make you want to absolutely ravage him. With that, there’s the glow only a couple of amazing orgasms from the man you love can make you feel that fills your chest. So when you’re able to voluntarily move your limbs again, you push back on his chest so he has to stop sucking sweet little kisses into the collumn of your neck. He looks at you a little confused, but you just smile gently and keep putting pressure against him until he ends up on his back.

You settle between his tattooed legs and admire the way his dick lies flat against that solid tummy of his, glistening with your juices. Your mouth waters at the sight, and you take him in your hand to guide his throbbing length between your kiss-swollen lips.

You suck your cum off his skin, humming in satisfaction while you watch him lay back with one hand behind his head and the other petting your hair gently.

“Love your dick,” you say before sucking the leaking tip into your mouth. “Only want yours, baby. Just made me cum so hard...” you trail off with a wanton moan, then get to work sucking him off for real. His eyes fall shut and his fingers work deeper into the loose strands of your hair for a firmer grip. You roll his balls in your palm, pulling out all the tricks you know he loves to get him there as well as he did for you. “Mine.”

He guides you deeper with the hand on your head, never pushing more than he know you’re willing to take; he loves the tangible feeling of that sweet mouth sucking him off, taking him as far down your throat as you can. You make it sloppy for him, letting all the drool and saliva coat his shaft until it’s dripping down his balls. You lift off him with a gasp and massage the slick into his skin before ducking down and sucking them one at a time into your mouth for a tongue bath while you jerk his dick off above you.

You can hear the hitch in his breath, see the short heaves of his chest when you follow the pressure he pulls on your hair in silent request to get you to suck him again. All signs point to him being about to bust, but you want more than his cum in your mouth.

You hurry to mount him, smiling when you catch his look of surprise. He moans as you sink down on him, and you pick up his hands to interlace your fingers for intimacy and leverage.

“Cum inside me,” you tell him, bouncing on him so your tits jiggle for him.

Grayson watches as long as he can, holding out until his eyes roll back and his fingers dig into the backs of your hands as he fills you up with deep, drawn-out moans. You grin in satisfaction, happily obliging him when he wraps his arms around your waist and pulls you down so your chests are flush together.

You hum as he comes down and pepper kisses across his jaw, his nose, his closed eyes. Any bit of that handsome face you love so much that you can reach with your lips gets a sweet peck. Grayson sighs and lets you keep going until he’s gripping your hips and lifting you off his softening cock.

“Sorry if I got too caveman,” he mumbles tiredly after a few moments. “I just love you.”

You shake your head and bury your grin into his neck. “No need to apologize. Actually, I can’t wait to go back to that store with you. I still want those leggings.”

“Fuck off.”

#this is def one of the worst things ive written in a while #pls feel free to ignore it #i might try to rewrite eventually i just didnt think i could do #better than this at this point #ugh sorry #dolan twins #grayson dolan #blurb #g blurb

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muwur · 4 years

Text

snapchat headcanons

✧ hc’s ✧ for using snapchat w ur boi toi ft. the pretty setter squad

❧ gn reader

✎ 3.1k words

a/n: kinda a combo of how they use sc and the kinds of snaps they send you! along w wat u send them, and uh... dating stuf n shenanigans? texting/snapping habits? my fantasies? IDEK ANYMORE EOFHEFJ

this was born from the recesses of my mind , which desired nothing mor than snapchats from suga , us sending cute selfies , others bein dumb n chaotic , no context videos , n him snapping me photos of some mangoes on sale he said he’ll buy for me DXX it’s too late for me now

doing research on hq bois and surfing thru sc features (im just now realizing theres quite a bit?? im hoping i address most of them at some point lolol) instead of real life tings aHHhhhHAHA

requests: open! will be working on a suga one i got, dw, requester!

sugawara

✧ sends good morning and good night snaps

✧ so he’s rlly good at keeping streaks, probs has the longest ones (one of them being y’alls streak)

✧ posts tidbits of volleyball practice on his story every once in a while

✧ snaps you pics of his sleeping teammates when they’re coming back to school after a long day of matches , adding a single ‘❤️’ as a caption

✧ he will also create colorful masterpieces on all of them

✧ gives daichi a santa beard, tanaka a squiggly stache (i imagine it to look like spongebob n patrick’s seaweed ones now that were mEN), n kageyama sum angry brows,,, wait he already has them lolol u good der kags

✧ posts a picture of you when you’re hanging out, captioning it: “🥰“

✧ has conversations with you purely via snaps

✧ ranges from casual chats and checking up on u to crackwhoring ( ** indicates the photo, while the “” quotes indicate the caption, all snaps are italicized, otherwise its regular dialogue)

✧ suga: *peace sign* “hey sweetheart, how r u?”

✧ you: *pics of homework* “ahh, drowning in school ;-; i cant wait for this week to be over fghjkl”

✧ suga: *close up with :o on his face* “let’s study together tmrw!”

✧ or

✧ suga: *complete darkness* “its 3 am n i cant sleep”

✧ you: *the top half of your head, laying on a pillow* “ ;( aw babe. do u want me to send something to help u sleep?”

✧ suga: *still in darkness* “y u still up?? go sleep. n 🥺 yes pls”

✧ you: *snaps pics of feet* “that’ll be 50 bucks, pay up”

✧ suga: *darkness remains* “can we make a trade instead? i promise to make it worth ;)”

✧ ok now u BOTH cant sleep (im sry my crackheading be acting up around 2am eeryday, i stan a mischievous suga--)

✧ video chats (in the darkness lol) instead until you both pass out (im not in luv u r 😭)

✧ super down to take filtered selfies w you

✧ does all the silly ones with you (things like ’angry face’ or the frog one)

✧ but also rlly digs lookin cute with you using some heart crowns, y’all an aesthetic (n crakhead) duo fosho

✧ def subscribes to life hacks and tries them out himself, has a 50% success rate

kageyama

✧ doesn’t rlly use snapchat too much

✧ but when he does

✧ will either send you a picture to indicate he’s at volleyball practice (wow wat a sexi lookin gym floor)

✧ or some random picture of whatever he’s doing at the moment (*drinking milk*)

✧ this is mostly in order to save streaks

✧ he’s so bad at streaks

✧ “why does it matter?? what’s the point of sending just black screens or whatever’s in front of you at the moment??”

✧ can’t keep a consistent streak for more than 3 days and also doesn’t care (until hinata challenges him to see who can have the longer one)

✧ when you send him videos of him playing, he really focuses on them to try to improve his technique. asks you to send those vids to him (assuming u saved them, which u did)

✧ but when you look over his shoulder when he’s watching a video and give him some compliment (“i recorded at the perfect moment! that was a really good set, kageyama!”), he gets a bit flustered

✧ gets even more flustered but pretty happy whenever you post videos on your story showing karasuno winning some points with captions like:

✧ “footage of the legendary quick >.>” or “karasuno crows flyin high!” or “these bois make my heart 😭 im so proud”

✧ you WILL catch him off guard in photos, using filters that surrounds his head w/ emojis like 🥺💖🥰💘

✧ you also put these on your story (to his dismay)

✧ ppl comment on these mor than anything else (n for those who dont rlly kno kageyama, theyre kinda surprised to him like this)

✧ hinata snickers “hey kageyama you look pretty good here--”

✧ takes some selfies with you, mostly cuz you want them

✧ saves them after u send them over (n secretly cherishes them)

✧ occasionally watches his subscriptions, they’ll usually involve sports, mostly volleyball (who woulda guessed)

✧ you use his bitmoji to test out random facial expressions you would never see him wear

✧ you: “can you smile and wink like this? act like you’re the obnoxious charming guy in a shojo.”

✧ will actually attempt, but it looks so bad that you die inside and he never wants to try again cuz of ur laughing outburst (you: “😭😭 bb im sorry i couldnt help it”)

oikawa

✧ literally sends you anything and everything

✧ morning bathroom selfie to show off how good his hair came out that day, saying:

✧ “he has risen”

✧ or “i woke up like this”

✧ and my favorite, “you’re lucky you get this content for frEE”

✧ selfies with iwa, who just looks annoyed and exasperated at the camera

✧ sends you pics of his lunch and snacks (“bet u wish u had milk bread too”)

✧ always packs extra milk bread so he could convince you to stay at his practice after school--

✧ FILTERSS

✧ I CANNOT STRESS THIS ENUF

✧ will either use the filters that make him kayooottt (cute)

✧ loves the ones named ‘hearts,’ ‘soft,’ ‘peach,’ ‘butterfly cheeks,’ vsco filters LOL, etc

✧ uses ‘big mouth’ when he feelin a bit sASSY; also loves to use this one when he rants, it channels his inner valley girl

✧ sometimes he’ll be snacking or drinking something while he does so (“hey guys today im gonna eat these milk buns from my favorite bakery and this bomb orange juice and complain about this little kid who talked smack to me earlier and almost made me cry--”)

✧ takes cute selfies with you, is an aesthetic selfie king, puts them on his story to show off he’s hangin with you

✧ but on your story you only post the ones he looks bad in LOL

✧ has separate stories for his every need, some r private (and lucky you, ur included in all of them)

✧ titles them ‘mean things iwa said to me today,’ ‘ranting hotbox + mukbangs,’ ‘a day in the life of oikawa,’ ‘volleyball 🏐,’ ‘unpopular opinions,’ etc.

✧ fitting room photoshoots lol

✧ “y/n, what do you think of this??” “and this?” “oOH WHAT ABOUT THIS??”

✧ ends up calling you through video chat so you can live critique his choices

✧ “oikawa, please no, i can’t be seen with you in public if you wear those--”

✧ also changes his bitmoji’s outfits from time to time, hopes you’ll notice, but you don’t LOL (oikawa: ;((((((( )

kenma

✧ uses sc usually just to reply to messages ppl send him

✧ indifferent about streaks, but keeps a few with ppl he’s closer to

✧ mindlessly plays the snapchat games with you, finds some of them kinda cute

✧ you both made his bitmoji for him, dressing his up in the orange cat suit

✧ you also helped make kuroo’s and put his in the black cat suit to match--

✧ snaps you every time he gets a new game, starts playing it, and once he finishes

✧ started to post some gameplays and reviews on his sc story (might as well add them to sc since he was already on other social platforms), and ended up amassing a large following

✧ follows the tech and gaming stories on sc

✧ as well as the ones with cute animals--

✧ open to selfies with you, usually wears a calm expression and holds up a peace sign

✧ even occasionally sticks his tongue out

✧ his story is occasionally heavily bombarded with candids of him w/ pretty sc filters, all taken by you

✧ but of all the filters, you love using the clout glasses on him

✧ especially when he’s just minding his own business

✧ “kenma, in his tru habitat” when hes cocooned in a blanket

✧ “kenma, on his way to steal yo manz” while on his way to the bathroom

✧ “kenma, next iron chef. watch out gordon” as he’s cooking instant ramen

✧ “kenma” n das it

✧ but he thinks it meme-y so he lets you do whatever you want, kinda digs it

✧ you end up dedicating your snap story to memes of kenma and the nekoma volleyball team. ppl are in it for the shits n giggles n hot bois

✧ you later discover someone else did the same thing with their volleyball team filled with hot bois from shiratorizawa, and you befriend tendou and share funni internet tings

akaashi

✧ 99% of his photos include either you or bokuto or both

✧ bokuto spams akaashi’s story and contact list with selfies and videos of himself using weird filters, often gets you to join him

✧ has several streaks, but will send something with more substance than a black screen or his bedroom window

✧ will usually involve smthng that just happened to him or smthing he saw, like:

✧ “a kind older lady offered me some apples in return for helping her”

-or:

✧ “how do i break the news to bokuto that the yaikniku place he’s been wanting to go to for the past week ,,, is closed today”

✧ o n let’s not leave out:

✧ “is it possible to conjure a ghost using a wooden spatula, ketchup, and a chalk drawn hexagram? bokuto’s been paranoid ever since he tried last night and i dont know what to tell him. seriously, help”

✧ looks through stories occasionally, comments whenever bokuto makes questionable decisions

✧ also comments on whatever you’ve posted. his words range from “you’re cute” to “why,” depending on the content

✧ ppl know when y’all are hanging out cuz he’ll post smthing to indicate he’s with you, usually it’s some candid and you’re not paying attention

✧ appreciation posts for you as well! esp if you got him something, like onigiri or his fav, Nanohana no Karashiae , for lunch! (akaashi: *snaps a pic of his food* “thank you y/n for feeding me”)

✧ prefers video calling over texting/snapping whenever possible tho

✧ occasionally reminisces thru his sc memories

✧ enjoys the flashback feature and will send them to you and bokuto (cuz they’re about y’all anyway lolol)

✧ also has secretly saved a bunch of selfies of himself, consists of him trying out a lot of the filters (he feelin himself)

✧ you, one day, looking thru his phone and discovering them: “akaashi, you’re so pretty wtf”

✧ akaashi: “...”

koganegawa

✧ sends you selfies of him before practice

✧ during breaks

✧ and after practice, usually makes a comment about how it went for him that day like:

✧ “i hit a decent toss today and futakuchi actually complimented me!”

✧ that, or:

✧ “i got yelled at 17 times today 😢😩”

✧ has quite a few streaks, his longest ones being with you and hinata

✧ def uses filters

✧ tries out every funny one he finds and sends you videos

✧ “look y/n im an aaaaAALlliiEEENnnNNN oo oo hoo hhhooOOh”

✧ “now im a chicky nuggy!!” (chicken nugget)

✧ also enjoys the doodle feature

✧ but he uses the filter with the clout glasses unironically--

✧ usually when smth good happens to him and he feels happy and/or cool about it

✧ “just beat the boss in this game on my 69th try B)”

✧ “kogane, that’s--”

✧ plays sc games with you and thinks bitmojis r cool

✧ kinda sad he cant find a hair option that matches him tho lolol rip

✧ you: “you hair’s just,,, unique,,,”

✧ subscribed to anything sports and fitness, as well as pop culture so he can stay in the loop

✧ also watches everyone else’s stories, pointing out whenever he sees smthing cool and/or interesting

✧ “woahh, karasuno’s at nationals right now! i wish we could’ve won, but next year for sure!!”

✧ you encourage him at all his games, hyping him up irl and online

✧ “koganegawa: best setter 😍!!”

✧ luckily you didnt record the parts he completely messed up LOL

semi

✧ before going out with you, snaps you a pic of his casual outfit like:

✧ semi: “does this look ok”

✧ you: “babe you look great, tendou was just messing with you”

✧ will make unwanted appearances on tendou’s snap and complains to you about them

✧ “i didnt consent to being part of his meme page” and

✧ “okay, but he didn’t only have to share all the moments i messed up--”

✧ also indifferent about streaks but will do them

✧ sometimes sends snaps/streaks indicating he’s practicing his music

✧ when you see these you usually ask him to send you vids or if you can come over n watch

✧ initially is a bit shy about it but he loves what he does and you and knows you’re genuinely interested and supportive so he agrees

✧ secretly rlly enjoys having you as his personal audience

✧ lowkey into asmr, like the soap cutting shit as well as chewing crunchy things

✧ also watches food porn and clips of mukbangs, then can’t resist going on youtube and watching the whole thing

✧ “y/n, can we try this, it looks so good--”

✧ will also often watch oikawa’s stories, especially his ‘ranting hotbox + mukbangs,’ and makes comments about him being an idiot

✧ “this kid he’s talking about is a savage”

✧ but admits they’re quite entertaining

✧ just looks serious in all the selfies you take with him

✧ you: “can you look like you’re enjoying yourself?”

✧ semi: “i look cooler like this tho”

✧ sc memories filled with shenanigans from you and the volleyball team, doodles, and mirror selfies with him experimenting diff looks (you: “tendou, you got him way too concerned about this”)

✧ also enjoys showing off he’s with you, taking a short video of you when you hang out

✧ you: “semi, i look bad right now”

✧ semi: “but you can never look bad”

✧ you: “🥺 bb”

✧ viewers: “aw”

✧ shiratorizawa: “can he be this nice with us LOL”

shirabu

✧ his main mode of communication with you is mostly through the regular messaging app, so he doesn’t use sc too much

✧ also doesn’t care for streaks and is bad at keeping them

✧ will answer to you or his senpais rather soon tho

✧ but lets all his other notifications pile up a bit before finally going thru them

✧ goes through the snaps he receives really fast, spending like 2 seconds each to look at them cuz aint nobody got time for dat

✧ doesn’t even rlly open goshiki’s LOL

✧ you have fun using filters on him and taking videos while he’s just doing his own thing peacefully like studying

✧ it takes him a second to notice and when he finally looks up, he just gives you an exasperated look

✧ cue you cracking up with laughter bc the filter finally shows up on his face

✧ his eyes and mouth are now on mike wazowski

✧ that, or his face becomes so disturbingly moRPhed like an alien

✧ caption: “ken-chan, my future medical man 😍”

✧ “y/n, please, this is like the 7th time in the last 20 minutes--”

✧ finally convinced him to take a study break and hang out with you

✧ which usually consists of snacking and light banter while you lay your head on his lap

✧ and scrolling through snapchat stories and showing him what everyone else is up to and cool things you’re subscribed to

✧ “loooook, dr. miami’s doing another butt job! is this the line of work you’re studying so hard for?”

✧ “no, it’s really not”

✧ is actually very soft with you and likes having the photos and vids for memories

atsumu

✧ sends you snaps where his brother looks bad, captioning it:

✧ “this is evidence that im the hotter twin”

✧ likewise, osamu sends you snaps where atsumu looks even worse

✧ like, the mans passed out, looking rekt and open mouthed, drool seeping into his pillow

✧ osamu: “u still have time to break up with him”

✧ also lucky for you, atsumu also loves to take unflattering photos of you and send them to you randomly at like 2 am

✧ you: “nani tf when did you even take this??”

✧ usually posts a snap while he’s out somewhere like at a match, the gym, outside on a run, a party, or just hanging out with you or his frens

✧ however, makes sure you look good if you show up on his story cuz he wants to show you off

✧ doesn’t really care for streaks, but has a lott

✧ but also has a tON of unopened snaps

✧ is the type to send just a black screen n call it a day, or maybe spice it up by sending a pic of the sexi gym floor (a comeback) w his shoe in the corner

✧ will, however, consistently respond to you and kinda looks forward to ur snaps (secretly hopes you show ur face)

✧ but when you dont:

*in class*

✧ atsumu: *a smirk on his face* “your content’s kinda dry today”

✧ you: *your sexi desk* “my nudez ain’t free, i demand compensation”

✧ atsumu: *grasped his chin in thought, but angled the cam up bc he needa hide his phone in class lolol* “what if i... take you out on a romantic excursion”

✧ you: * your face but with ‘sausage’ filter* “🥵🥵🥵🥵 yessir, what u want”

✧ rlly only wants to have pics of your face wat a closeted sOFTIE

✧ likes to have content on his flashbacks

✧ usually has other social media sources to keep up to date with things

✧ actually rlly digs using sc filters, mostly ones that’ll make him look like a queen

✧ captions a selfie of you two like: “me >>>>>>> y/n”

✧ but nearly everyone who comments on it is like: “i think you flipped the sign, bro 🤥”

✧ judges ppl who are into soap cutting asmr (you will never hear the end of it if you also like it)

a/n: sc kinda dying for me, my use went from suga to an atsumu to like nearly nonexistent LOL

also o gawd i already have ideas here n there for a pt 2 so stay tuned fjxnwfesd hope it takes me less long cuz this one took me fkin foreva LOL

idk y i made semi like mukbangs but i feel like he’d be rlly into them--

#haikyuu x reader #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu reader insert #sugawara x reader #kageyama x reader #oikawa x reader #kenma x reader #akaashi x reader #koganegawa x reader #semi x reader #shirabu x reader #atsumu x reader #haikyuu headcanons

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dianaburnwood · 3 years

Text

HITMAN 3: First Impressions

This post is full of SPOILERS. Also, it is LONG, so.... yeah. Be prepared lol

HITMAN 3. Also known as: Diana’s Game.

Dear GOD I am in love.

I’m going to do my best to make this coherent. But. I am still freaking out. And I have SO much more to explore!!!! This won’t be very in-depth because I played each map exactly once so far. There’s so much left to see, conversations to overhear, opportunities to exploit - but, I DO have some first impressions, oh hell yes.

Menu:

That menu music!!! I was not expecting that at all. It was a mix of choral and classical with previous themes intertwined, and it reminded me of Blood Money. Speaking of Blood Money, this game is Blood Money.

Dubai:

Very, very beautiful. Kinda thought Grey made it all about himself lol of course he wanted to say “in your face” to the partners, but it was like 47 was just there to pull the trigger, like he’d not been hurt by them too. But, I really liked it. Trapping them in a room and watching them freak while Grey watched me kill them?? Helloo??? Popping off HARD from the start and I love it.

So - here’s the thing. I don’t get the timing. Diana tells them then that Edwards escaped. Did he escape just before the boys got to Dubai? Or were they unavailable to reach until then? It seems that the message Grey got at the end of HAVEN was after Olivia hacked the HAVEN servers, and then the boys were out of reach so after Diana discovered Edwards was gone, she couldn’t tell them until Dubai? And it was shown to us in a different order to leave us hanging? I dunno. Maybe? It seems weird.

THE CUTSCENE here omg - once again establishing that 47 and Diana are ride or die. “Diana will make it right, she always does” - BABE. BABE. SWEET BOY. His little face when Grey doesn’t trust Diana. OMGGG.

Dartmoor:

I went the murder mystery route, of course. I figured it was Emma from her conversation with her husband, but I got all the clues after just to be sure. Can’t believe Carlisle just handed 47 the file on Edwards and then went out alone on the balcony like I wasn’t gonna kill her??? Bitch????? do you forget who i am?????? Anyway, the murder mystery was SO much fun, but I can’t wait to infiltrate this manor in other ways. Lots of Beldingford vibes here.

THE CUTSCENE bdsfgafhlsjfah WAHT????? Ok so HOW did Edwards know where they were? And - ok, so it made for an amazing scene, but Grey is a badass. He is a mercenary genius that duped the ICA and brought Providence to its knees. How did he get himself surrounded in the woods by CICADA? But he did, and it was beautiful, and he literally only shot himself to save 47, and the LOOK in 47′s eyes on his balaclava face - I just bfjKSFasad. I can’t believe he died so early tho. I was very sure he’d die somehow, but SO early. WOW.

Berlin:

fucking hell. Berlin. fuck. fucckkkk.

I wanna shout out to Mini (not gonna tag you in case you’re avoiding spoilers) but hot damn girl if you’re reading you were BANG ON about 47 wearing Grey’s coat. I really didn’t think it was his. It was. It is such a beautiful way for 47 to express his emotions about this death without actually saying anything. Omg. It was perfection. I’m crying thinking about it.

BERLIN was where this game really upped its... game. Like WOW. 5 targets, and it’s the ICA. Clearly Edwards went to the ICA board at this stage and was like uhhhh so you need to take these ppl out. HOWEVER I am amazed that the ICA is like “oh, ok”. DO you not remember what happened in SOUTH DAKOTA.

But going after the ICA is a fucking trip and I love it. I love how 47 says each agent’s name to himself. I love how he listens in and the team handler realises it. I love how she pulls the rest of her team out once you get 5. I love that the ICA agents use disguises too!!! This is truly APEX PREDATOR and I love that they named it that. Y’all think you have the balls to go up against 47??? bitch?????

But the fact that you have to find the targets and none of them are marked is so fantastic. I found 6, but I have no idea how many are actually available - but I’m gonna find out!!! The club is HUGE as well, and lots of throwbacks to Contracts, especially with the biker gang. Amazing. Amazing level. I’m so excited to replay it.

Also they really addressed the elephant in the room with the ICA agents describing 47 as a caucasian male, bald, average height and ppl being like uh that’s every man here, and then he said yeah but he’s got this big tattoo lmao

Chongqing

ok this is where I started to think this game was my fanfiction. Inside the ICA? Showing off how truly international it is, and high tech. Hidden in plain sight. Ready to dismantle in 12 hours if needed. SO perfect. This lore builds on Absolution and Blood Money ICA lore in wonderful ways.

Also, I don’t know why the IOI and DK of the logo looked different in the trailer, they must have been just hard to make out. Cos in the game, the ICA logo is the same as all previous games.

Also, analysts do client vetting? Intrigue. Always assumed that was part of the handlers’ job. I take it all back Diana, you have never done anything wrong in your life, ever

I killed Royce by firing the ppl she recommended so she’d get trapped in the data core cleaning. I killed Hush (what a name I love it) as his patient.

Working with Olivia is really fun. I missed Diana, but Olivia brought a whole fresh perspective. I also really like how neither Grey nor Olivia are as good as Diana - they both fucked up while guiding 47 at least once.

47 saying “...I will leave you to prepare” to Olivia, I yelled fdagsfa

Also I love how 47 decided to expose the ICA exactly like Diana did in Absolution. Those two. One of a kind. My heart. And his desire to protect her. I love that the files showed their start together. Olivia saying “I can see why you...” and then she stopped herself. We all KNOW what she was gonna say.

AND AND AND AND

the cutscene - I screamed

“47 has one weakness. Me.”

I swear to fucking GOD, IO has seen into my soul. I’ve said all along that Diana is 47′s weakness, and he is hers. But to hear it said, aloud, by my girl? WHAT???!!!!!

Mendoza

Ok. OK. OKKKKKK. OK. I can’t even write about this one. This was where I was pretty sure I was hallucinating the entire level. This is my Diana and 47 dreams come true. This is insane. This is EVERYTHING.

So we have OUR MOMENT IN THE SUN. She puts her HAND on HIS HAND and he looks in fucking wonderment at it. ahugarhiewEG;FEJGHEFlejlhsgfes;gjrsgt. I can’t. I can barely get through writing about this.

Diana - the dress, the Jolie thigh slit, the jewellery, the hair (they finally fixed her fucking hair), SASS. “I have tango fever” omg.

How do these ppl not have a pic of 47 by now lol

I followed Diana and Vidal around cos I was entranced by my girl. Diana was fucking amazing each time. So much sass. Little did I know I interrupted them enough times for Vidal to say “ok son let’s talk”. I saw the tango and I was like omg imagine if I could dance with Diana.

well.

WELL.

Anyway, got to kill Vidal via her own setup for me, and that was amazing. I wasn’t expecting it at all. I snuck into the house to kill Yates, and overheard him calling Edwards’ voicemail. Also, it is April 2021?? So, yeah. My previous dates were way wrong lol.

And then, ALL MY DREAMS CAME TRUE. Diana and 47 fucking dancing the tango? I was pissed that I was in a security guard outfit, next time I play he will be in his tuxedo baby.

Diana’s comments to 47 when he’s in disguise tho, I was freaking. As security “you look like a true professional. I feel so much safer with you gentlemen around” aaahhhh

UH HE FELL TO THE GROUND COS OF POISON fngjfagfljgnsdfa

I am so glad I was right about my baby girl tho. She even told him “you didn’t have a choice” about her parents. Good. I’m so glad I was right about that. But omg it broke my heart to have 47 so, SO, SOOO sure of Diana all along, defending her to Grey and Olivia, knowing, KNOWING that she was on his side, and then, he eventually started to doubt it.

I was screaming at my screen - this is BLOOD MONEY! SHe is doing what she did in BLOOD MONEY!!!!

But, for a second, 47 wasn’t sure anymore. And Diana played her part well.

Carpathian Mountains

Ok, what I love most about Contracts was how it gave us an insight into 47′s psyche, and this game upped that tenfold. Him seeing all his targets surround him? Him imagining Diana and the Constant dancing together? Him imagining her say terrible things about him, things he’s thought about himself deep down, always, omg, but he finally snapped out of it. Ironic that thinking about Grey snapped him out of it, when in life Grey had not trusted Diana. But 47 came to the realisation on his own. Diana would never betray him.

opening that door and finding out you’re on a fucking train?????? I screamed.

I am a bit disappointed that it turned out Romania wasn’t significant, they just happened to be passing through. But omg the fact that you are “subject 47″ again. I freaked. This is 47′s worst nightmare.

I love that you have a free pass to kill everyone in this level. I did it in stealth anyway, cos it felt wonderfully tense to sneak through that train. But wow. This is another BIG risk that IO took. The train was straight out of Uncharted, and crafting a silencer for your pistol??? Hello The Last of Us????? But I don’t care. They used those elements super well.

I think some people will be angry at this game because parts of it (especially the last level) were a departure from how HITMAN and HITMAN 2 worked. But I love it. I love that they took risks to tell the story they wanted to tell, and those risks paid off.

47′s undying loyalty to Diana, omg. Telling Edwards bye bitch, I’ll never forget who I am again, and Diana thinks you suck. <3<3<3<3<3

ENDING

OH MY GOD. ONE YEAR LATER????? 47 obviously took some time off cos he fucking needed a break. But he’s back, baby. Ending on “it’s good to be back” was wonderful. The game ended where the 2015 trailer for HITMAN started, and I’m crying. He’s ready to continue with Diana, and not because it’s what he was made to do, not because he doesn’t know what else to do, but finally, because he CHOOSES to do that.

But one year later? What does that mean? Has Diana rebuilt the ICA like in Blood Money, or will she and 47 work together without anyone else? They’ll need the infrastructure that an organisation like the ICA has though. Diana said she would dismantle Providence from the top down once Edwards was gone, but how? Does that mean dismantling what’s left of the ICA? They were one and the same by the end of the game. All that didn’t just disappear. I’m left with so many questions.

I was disappointed Diana wasn’t in the cabin when 47 got there. And I wonder why she wasn’t. She knew he was coming, but they are clearly still on good terms. Maybe she wasn’t sure what to expect. But does that mean they hadn’t spoken in a year since??? But she didn’t sound surprised to hear him, and he had coordinates that he was following, so I think they arranged to meet. But her phone was in there when he arrived, and she wasn’t. Maybe he was tracking her phone? Did she come back there to him after?????

BUT BUT BUT BUT BUT BUT

the game

ended

with 47

smiling

And for that I will be forever grateful.

Ok bye, I need to play it again. RIP work tomorrow lol

#hitman 3 first impressions #hitman3spoilers

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muzzleroars · 4 years

Note

In the AU where Joker is an amnesiac Satanael, I imagine the third semester is him working through his newly-recovered memories and complex emotions regarding Yaldabaoth. I can see him being torn between his human desires to free his friends, and the more divine (and paradoxically more human,) urge to see his father one more time, if only for closure. He's immune to Maruki's abilities due to his memories returning, but he almost (almost) wants to be affected, just so that he can have closure.

P5R SPOILERS UNDER THE READ MORE!

OOF this got me right in the heart bc YEA that’s a big one for akira in an au where he’s actually the child of yaldabaoth - he’s at his wit’s end in the third semester, not only having to deal with the trauma of the past year (esp those that piled up at the end) but also the fact that he now has to grapple with his origins, and with this there’s an added layer of a whole life as satanael. he remains wholly unaffected by maruki as he has taken his autonomy and fought to gain his freedom, as well as the fact that he is a demigod of the metaverse...but yeah, i do think that a part of him feels the unfairness of it, that his friends have this chance to live a perfect life if only for a week as he pulls them all from their fantasies. they have a small second chance, they get to live in a dream even if it will be stolen from them (and he hates that he needs to be the one to do it, again), and he does desperately want to get closure from his father. AND I KNO ppl gonna be like “REALLY cake u wanna make his wish about yaldabaoth???” but it’s not exactly about him, it’s about akira understanding why this happened, who he is and where he belongs exactly, why his father did what he did, and why things had to end so violently. it’s a lot of the emotions a kid goes through when they lose a terrible parent - they don’t necessarily want them back, but they want the chance to sit down and talk, to get those straight answers they were always denied. his wish isn’t like haru’s, who wanted her dad to be kind and loving with her, he just wants the opportunity to tie up all these now loose ends, his realization of his origins only coming back to him in that critical moment that satanael was awakened again, when his gun was already leveled at yaldabaoth’s head and there was no time to even breathe, with shock running through him the same time the recoil does. and it’s done. in a single, pressurized instant, there’s already a bullet hole in yaldabaoth’s head and he fades in the next instant while akira still feels the aftershocks of his action radiating up his arm. and now he’s left alone with who he is and where he comes from, outside of everyone around him, not totally human but not totally a god either. and then while everyone around him is granted their wish, maruki’s power has no effect on akira, his own status in the metaverse preventing that as well as the fact that his wish is simply beyond maruki’s power. but...there is the temptation in a way, thinking that if he gives in to maruki’s world, if he allows his power to grow and consume reality, maybe he will become strong enough to grant akira’s desire too. even if not to bring back his father...time enough to speak with him, time enough to just have that last conversation he was denied, would be all he would ask. and it’s...really interesting to think of him speaking with goro about this, inviting him to the jazz club more haggard and exhausted than goro is used to seeing from him. and he listens, and he considers, and once he determines that akira hasn’t just lost his mind from the pressure of it all, i think he would ask him if he then wants to be a selfish deity like his father. didn’t he do all of this to be sure people were free, at great personal risk to himself and to his friends? does he knowingly and willfully now give up those principles for his own emotional gain? does he make the work of the phantom thieves moot because he has risen above humanity in some way now and he wants to indulge his own needs? because really then...how do his plans differ from that of the father he fought against, if he’s willing to ensnare humanity for his own gain? if he has so much power...his needs must be put aside for the greater good, because if he doesn’t do so...he wields it wrongly, like all the palace rulers they took down. and it’s harsh to hear, that he’s selfish for asking as much and selfish for considering it, but it’s exactly the talk he needed from goro and he knew he would tell him what he needed, not what he wanted, to hear. it would help strengthen his resolve when he’s flagging, reignite the rebel heart that has gone through so much pain, make him see that he doesn’t have the luxury of working for his own self-interest when he has so much power. only he has the ability to cast out maruki and he must do so, he must allow humanity to be free no matter the personal cost, and while i think he always would come to that conclusion, it would shake any doubt from him to have someone actually say out loud just why he needs to.

#this is the ONLY reason i accept even close to flip flopping in the third sem from akira #but he still wouldn't ever choose maruki's reality he can't #and as satanael it really is an affront to his whole THING #just...the lure of closure is hard to someone in so much grief #but ultimately it just kind of makes him more pissed at maruki lol #p5 #p5r #akira kurusu #yaldabaoth #goro akechi #p5r spoilers #persona 5 royal spoilers #Anonymous

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magicflowershop · 4 years

Text

one day kitty; Kita version

《inspired by movie A Whisker Away》

✿✿ you wished to be with the person you like and wish granted. whiskers, button nose, tail, four legs and ears on top of the head; you turned into a cat. with this, you are given the opportunity to be with the person you want to express your affections to. but as a cat. and only in one day.

― haikyuu characters x cat!reader imagines!

❀ masterlist ❀

the wheel of names have spoken.

kita was having a good time by himself in his grandmother’s rice fields, feeling the breeze like the precious farm boi he is,,, when he saw a cat sleeping on a wet patch in the middle of the field

gathering concern for the little cat, he brought him home and decided to clean it up

then you woke up

you felt something scrubbing your back when you open your eyes you see a guy aiming a hose at you

you scream bc obv, but that scream translated into a screech leaving your mouth and you see your hand

homie that was a paw

why do u have a paw?????

"stay still, you might hurt yourself”

and why is there a Kita Shinsuke spraying water at you lmao

you see that he’s kinda annoyed that you’re moving so much while he’s trying to clean you up but at the same time you arent sure since he isnt easy to read and that don’t know him too well rip so you let yourself be cleaned for free ig

but yo what the hell??? so you’re a cat now????

you try to remember what happened before all this and how in the world you suddenly turned into a cat and magically wake up in Kita’s place

you dont know the exact location of his place so you have no idea how to get back home from here

Kita pulled the cat closer to him, and wiping the wet fur with a towel as generously as he could that the cat soon found comfort from his gentle caresses

okay maybe you could stay for a while yk huehue

“you’re having fun”

you hear a familiar voice from a mile away, you look back and see a fat, creepy cat standing on two of its hind feet

o wait

you saw that cat last night when you were watching the shooting star outside,,, you thought it’d be cute if you suddenly wished for something so you did then that thing appeared outta nowhere promising you that he can make your wish come true than compared to a stupid star

so he forced the wish outta you

that you wished to be closer to a guy you admired,, and you had a lot of crushes in your school ykyk,,, just that Kita takes the entire cake

“you have until midnight to remain as a cat. be sure to leisurely fulfill your desires, y/n.”

and so he vanished

while knowing full well you’re basically Cinderella now, you take consideration of your leisure time with Kita-sama

do you stay or do you go home first to check on your household

“oh what do we have here?”

Kita’s grandma entered the scene and you think that okay maybe this development is a little too quick since you weren’t ready to face his relatives yet

“i found this cat in the fields. it looked like it could get sick so i cleaned it”

o yea you were a damn cat

also Kita calls you freakin “it”

pennywise who

you chose to stay in Kita’s place bc grandma thought it’d be lovely to let you stay there for a while,, and that you looked like you were starving when you saw the food on the table

thank goodness you were a cat bc jesus were you actually drooling

so you spent time in Kita’s place big deal

but his place isn’t what you’re aimed for no?

“i’m leaving”

Kita says putting on his shoes, ready to leave and he’s wearing casual clothes,, you don’t think he’s going to school for volleyball practice

IS HE GOING ON A DATE????????????

lmao

as if thats actually true cmon Kita doesn’t even hang out with girls that much,,, even though he prolly has a bunch of admirers like the other Inarizaki Vball bois

but what if he swang that wae?

??????????

so you followed him right?

you wanted to find out where he’s headed also that he looked good in casual clothes you just want to keep looking at him like this

Kita went to the grocery store

and apparently he was buying ingredients to make food

ahh

so you begin to think that you were foolish for lowkey gate-keeping him

like sis cmon you’re a cat rn keep your head in the game,, what do you do with those paws of yours that cant even grab his hand and pull him away when he was about to bump into a girl as he was about to grab a bottle of tomato paste

heck you cant even get inside the damn grocery store and walk in between them cause you’re a fcking cat!!!!!!!!

you watch their mouths say sorries to each other

the girl was blushing

hm?

Kita looked worried that he couldve hurt her since the hag was coverin her face

nani k

n̸̢̪̜͚͑́̾́̑̋ á̴̠̜̳͖̼̃͗̚͘͠ͅ n̵̼͙͇̻̹̓͜͜ i̷̥̲̻̪͈̞̙̩͛̾̅̓͝͝͠ ̶̨̡̜̞̟͆̿̈́͜ḵ̶̂̓̀̚ o̶͎͛̋̋̊͋̊̅̈̅ͅ r̶͙̮̱͊̎͠ ę̷̺̪͎͈̗̖̯̣͍͒͊̒͆͂̈́͛́̒̃

you started tapping the glass windows like mad SKSKD

and ofc since you’re a stray animal ppl wont let u get away with absolutely anything so one personnel saw you tapping the windows and shouted at you from inside the store

Kita and the hag saw you and yea that was enough embarrassment for the day, you ran away and let your feet take you wherever

its a bit boring that since its a weekend there’s nothing to do,, you never expected that Kita’s weekends would be this boring too :(

so the creepy cat appeared

“what’s wrong you dont seem to be enjoying yourself anymore”

“turn me back to human i need to finish my homework”

maybe thats not the most liable excuse you have but it is true that you need to finish an assignment

“but i gave you a chance to be with the person you admire, no? is this not enough?”

“yea well its-”

“here you are”

you feel someone pick you up and you see that it was Kita:0he must’ve looked for you since you dont even know where you are

oh my god Kita Shinsuke looked for you ma’am eye- or mayhaps you took the route back to his house without knowing since you were busy staring at him when you were stalking him earlier ye

you watched how he looked at the creepy cat you were talking to and and judged it from head to hind feet lmao Kita

“do you have the same owner as this cat?”

he asked you and you gave out every ounce of your energy to shake your head as a no as well as to let out the most disgusted and disapproval meow you ever could-

“the hell would i want to be acquainted with that thing!”

what

no way did u just speak

so Kita stared at you for the remainder of the time but decided you speaking isnt physically possible and that he could’ve been real tired since he saw the Miya twins along the way

he took you back home since his grandma seemed to be real happy seeing a little animal in the house with them

but you didnt miss to see the little knowing smile from the creepy cat from earlier, you just knew from that alone that he was messing with you since as you said you were bored

it was wrong of you to talk to that lil disgusting thing

since that moment you refused to speak with your mouth every again, if you were going to speak thought you would probably just purposely say meow only to not make anymore mistakes

also you’re spending a lot of time with Kita’s grandma than Kita himself

“i wonder what your future spouse is doing at this moment, Shin-kun”

Kita looked like he wanted to roll his eyes so bad lmao since he always hears things about his grandma wanting to see his wedding before she dies :c

and yk it makes you sad too just hearing about this

and you want to help 😔

and you would offer help 😌

they heard the cat speak and now you’re running away bc they heard you talk about wanting to marry Shinsuke 🤡

the day ended and you managed to go home before the sun set basically nothing happened and your transformation was all for nuttin, you were bamboozled by a demon cat you randomly saw one night

the next day you were back to your human self and it was a school day so ofc you have to live on normally in school as if nothing happened, as if you didnt just stalk a guy from your school but we’ll get to that

see, you’re friends are friends with a few of the guys from your school’s volleyball team,,, so you’re within vicinity of Kita’s attention

when you explicitly did not want to see him atm

BUT THEN YOU REMEMBER YOUR FRIENDS KNOW YOU LIKE KITA

WHAT THE HELL DO YOU DO NOW

you decided to run away but you realize that’s useless bc you’re all going home together :D

now you weren’t the crowds type of person,, you had no idea how it come to this, you’re used to hanging out with your girlfriends yes but they were having fun altogether like this it was fun just watching them goof off and whatnot

“hey”

when i told you you’re almost dropped the second you hear Kita calling to you, you best believe

you said hey but in a different tone of voice bc it was too early for him to notice you had the same voice as the cat he saw yesterday,,, then you both walked in silence

you couldnt take it anymore and decided to go to the nearest convenience store since you had something you want to buy,, you went and whispered this to your friends but when they were asking you to let your voice out, you were deadass croaking

but then you clown yourself sum more bc Kita was concerned of you acting like this and asked if you were alright

now you’re stuck with him in the convenience store bc your friends and his friends thought it’d be a great idea for him to go with you :D

“you should eat something warm before going to sleep, and take a warm bath too”

:((((((

okay now you feel bad for actually making him worry lol

your alibi of getting sick works really well with not speaking at all around him so you used this till the end thinking you can escape him with this until it rained and you dont have an umbrella with you

aight y/n you’re one hell of a clutz

Kita was enough of a gentleman to buy an umbrella for you until its actually out of stock

you guys stayed in the convenience store for the time being

you were losing your mind

how much longer will you stay with him

you thought of an alibi to save you from the embarrassment so you told him you gotta jet and go back to school bc you forgot to bring your notebook with you

but now you realize you realize you didnt have to tell him bc he’ll still follow you as if his life depends on taking care of you :(

after you randomly stormed out of the convenience store, he caught up to you and pulled you somewhere where there’s a roof over

“are you usually this reckless? or do you just like getting yourself sick?”

homie does not hold back

he pulled a spare shirt from his back and put it on your head,, proceeding to wipe your wet hair with it until he realized he’s subconsciously invading your personal space

he looked right at you, so you two were standing there,,, staring,, his hands on both sides of your head,,,,, both of y’all are wet hunni

he let go and turned the other way,,, the darkness wasnt dark enough to conceal his red cheeks and hunni you made him blush aight

“you reminded me of a cat i saw yesterday im sorry about that”

“you dont have to apologize”

o sis you did it now

you s p o k e

so Kita was beyond surprised to hear that voice again,,,, and this time from yOU,, ALL NORMAL,, NO FROGS

“i, i can explain”

he looked at you confused, hell was he so confused, that you sounded exactly like the voice he randomly heard yesterday which made him think that came from the cat,, he didnt think that was physically possible bc yk but the embarrassment from your face was enough for him to guess

“did you really say you’re willing to marry me”

gOD

“i mean,,, i don’t mind”

“grandma would be glad”

stay tuned for more!

#walk in my garden #i always change things up a lil bit lmao #hope you guys are keeping up #haikyuu!!#haikyuu #haikyuu!! drabbles #haikyuu!! smau #haikyuu!! imagines #haikyuu!! headcanons #haikyuu!! x reader #kita #shinsuke kita #kita shinsuke #kita x y/n #kita x reader #inarizaki #one day kitty

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elliethesuperfruitlover · 3 years

Text

tw/venting

so im once again randomly sad at 1:30 and honestly i hate it. i always seem to get really just down and upset during the early morning. (probably because i need to be sleeping) but this is stressful to be honest. im feeling a ton of guilt that i shouldnt even feel bad about. right, so we all know that im how old? a minor, and like.......im fine with that. im fine being this age. but like....i feel like im carrying feelings for things that dont even have to do with me. some people are like “yeah, i dont want minors interacting with my content” and for some reason, i always wonder if it has something to do with me. it doesn’t, but i feel this secondhand guilt for some reason, and it hurts. and i know it’s really selfish of me to do that, and im victimizing myself with this. i always obey the “MDNI” on people’s posts, but sometimes i feel like i did something bad. like with smut, specifically, i completely understand why people wouldn’t want minors interacting with that, it makes so much sense.

then i start feeling really upset about how i literally write smut, and read it. im starting to feel like there’s something wrong with me for having written smut, and had a specific audience read and react to it. i sometimes feel gross for just wanting to read smut. and a lot of the fandoms i read smut for may have the “MDNI” on it, which is fine, but after that, I feel this deep trench form, and it’s the worst thing. i just feel like im weird, and dirty for wanting to read smut about characters. and here comes the argument of me, a minor, reading smutty ass fanfiction about grown characters, in some scenarios. of course, i imagine myself older, above legal age, but that doesn’t stop the nasty feelings I feel. and with characters that are my age, or around my age, like with my hero academia, like sure, i crush on sero and everything, but i feel awful about reading smut for him. or even thinking about smutty things.

this also briefly dips into how i interact with my mutuals’ fics, particularly the smuttier ones. i think ‘oh god, am i being gross by interacting with this’ and i know that if they have an issue with me interacting with their fics, they would say it, clearly, and explain what needs to be explained. and i love that. but i always feel like im the weird one here, like im the odd one out, i guess because of my age. and i absolutely love and appreciate that they’ve created a safe space for me. it’s just an internal thing that’s really bothering me. and i absolutely love my mutuals as well. and i know that they also love and appreciate me, i guess i just feel that guilt.

and i know that it’s completely normal for kids my age, and teens to think about, and sometimes desire sexual things. and i know that it’s fine to explore those thoughts. sometimes, though, i just feel like im being a hypocrite. i. e. some shoes marketed towards teens, such as euphoria, and riverdale (off the top of my head, not biased) portray teenagers that might not be accurate. i don’t know what it’s like to be y’know present in a high school, and there, but for my own experiences, at least, i feel like it’s not true, or at least not in all of its glory. im like the outlier for a lot of that stuff. and i know it probably exists in some places, but i feel like this is how society views teens, and what they expect from us. i feel this odd pressure to be everything that society expects me not to be. and on some posts and stuff, i see what seems to be a bit of a disdain for kids of my generation, or at least gen z and i just kinda freeze and panic. i go “oh god, do they think this of me” “do they hate me” and i know that they don’t but it’s this lingering thought of “this is what they think of other kids in the same group as you”. i know it doesn’t represent the entire view but i just feel like i cant say anything, or bring it up. it makes me feel like im the problem.

anyway, i feel like i can’t do some of the things that i want because im scared of what people will think of me. like, sometimes i just feel hot, y’know and of course, send nice photos to a pal or two, but i’d never post that shit publicly. why, you might ask? because im a minor, and just because i feel nice about myself doesn’t mean that i need other ppl being gross about it. some people always say “these teens are always posting stuff all over social media. they share everything on there.” one, yes, we do, some people should know better. but also, two, this is new, people are being misled, mistakes are going to happen. plus, when you dont have that outlet to do other things, you go where you may feel safer to do something. it may not even be the best choice either. i agree that teens shouldnt post everything to social media, but i also believe that we should be allowed to make mistakes too? and have a bit of fun (where it’s morally correct, im not talking about driving people to suicide, or posting nudes (or semi-nudes on insta when you’re 13, that’s just wrong) anyways. i just feel like i cant do anything bc im gonna get shit for it, and further promote an agenda, but at this point im kinda starting to tear myself down about other people’s opinions, and that’s shitty.

also i feel like teens cant do shit in GENERAL, but that’s another conversation for another fucking day.

i always try to keep my opinions and everything at bay, because i hate when conflict is directed at me. and i dont like the panic of waiting for someone to text, or message me when i had what could be considered a hot take. i feel like i cant disagree, or think differently. or even sometimes just speak my mind because im scared of the repercussions. so i kinda just shut up, and stay in my little corner, and i absolutely hate that. but i also dont like being vocal about my opinions because of the fear that it produces.

and also sometimes some of the shit that people come up with im like......okay, i feel like i cant joke about. like when i talk about “MILF dennys” or “DILF buffalo wild wings” I DONT WANT TO BE A MILF, NOR A DILF. i dont even want kids, so ahaha. i say that shit as a joke.

kids, get future milf out of your bio, unless you put a “/j” or “/hj” after it. also, you don’t want to be a sex worker, or a stripper. im pro sex-work, but don’t look at that as your ONLY job option. that shit gets people killed, or tortured, and mistreated. if it’s a joke, it’s a joke, but it’s a dangerous choice, and it’s your grave bestie. and no, people contradicting you isn’t sexist, or misogynistic UNLESS IT’S LITERALLY THAT. people can be like “i think your opinion is a little harmful, ngl” and you can respond respectfully and be like “do tell, im open to listen” and not go off about someone not supporting your choices. if it’s something that you can avoid, do it. IF IT’S ILLEGAL, DONT DO IT. like, prostitution is illegal where i live, so if yall try to do that shit, dont expect to be given special treatment. people already see kids, women, and sex workers as what? OBJECTS. you’re nothing to people who may be incarcerating you one minute, and calling you for a 5 minute hookup the next. it’s not empowerment to be on places, and letting yourself be groomed and taken advantage of by nasty ass people who need to be locked up. i understand that you should be able to do what you wan, and wear what you want, but there’s some disgusting people out here.

and it’s also the usual shit bothering me, the pandemic, school, my brother saying fatphobic stuff, yada yada. i want a HUG. and i need to sit in someone’s lap for god’s sake anyways.

im also pretty sure that it’s NOT normal to have this many extreme changes in mood. like i was fine earlier yesterday but as soon as i see one thing that hits too close, im upset so....anyways.

also yes i feel bad about this because i really need to talk to someone about these issues, instead of y’know, letting them pile up and haunt me until im emotionally unavailable because i hide my feelings. this is further promoting other people’s view of teens oversharing on social media. but to be honest, people are going to hate gen z, and teens for a lot of shit. and i cant stop them from doing that. i can, however, keep myself out of their line of sight and dont cause issues about it. anyways, im gonna go rewatch some invincible (wow 3rd time now). and try to keep my mind off of wanting to be in someone’s arms while we make out. :)

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roominthecastle · 4 years

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If you could go back in time and pick any writer(s)/producer(s) to take on TBL (let’s say post 3x10), who would you go with and why? And, on a semi-related note, how do you wish the mid to latter seasons had played out? (this is just for fun, obv. feel free to ignore 😅)

I’ve been thinking about this since you sent it to me, anon, and I keep circling back to the same basic conclusion: I could pick any showrunner/writers room of any of my favorite shows (w/ the exception of GoT which was a similarly ugly disaster but that’s over at least), and while there is no such thing as a “perfect writers room” or pleasing everybody or making the right decision all the time, I’m confident that those ppl would do a better job in every area, most importantly character & story development, and maintaining some level of consistency in both in a way that it yields decent return on audience investment.

And believe me, it’s not about ‘shipping. It’s the total lack of storytelling integrity that I can’t get past. What is the point of this show anymore, really, story-wise, I mean? Why are they telling this story? what is even the story? what point are they making other than “put us in charge of your next show if you want its decent original idea senselessly butchered and the remains smothered in award-proof mediocrity”? Every time I hear their go-to excuse of “once we answer the core questions, it is over”, I roll my eyes. If you cannot address the fundamental elements of your narrative bc the second you touch upon them it crumbles to dust, so you have to lead the story away from it into dead ends, then you have a big problem. And they do have that problem, they have been dancing around it w/ decreasing success. The show’s been going off the rails, the characters have been doing the same old shit, the same 3 ideas are being recycled endlessly, and it’s all been kept afloat by the sheer stupidity and incompetency of the female protagonist. Not even James has had anything substantially new to do recently and it’s a total waste of his talents.

and Liz is not a character, she is a prop at best w/o a sliver of substance or meaningful goal of her own, and it’s fucking repelling. not to mention the lack of imagination that goes into the general construction of the show at large. and their painful inability to develop/write adult relationships in a way that’s a bit more complex and more interesting than a drunk fratboy’s anemic ideas of romance and friendship. and forget twisted psychological issues, controversial topics or grey morality in general, all of which they are absolutely not equipped to handle in a constructive manner despite choosing to couch their show in them. oh and all the blatant retcons they do whenever somebody has a half-assed idea and they wanna force it into whatever’s left of the original narrative that obviously resists it at every turn, so the showrunners give ridiculous interviews and abuse the word “organic” beyond recognition to “explain” how it all really fits (sure, if you ignore the previous seasons). they are terrible liars and it shows in their writing, too. what good character stuff they manage to earn, they regularly throw out. what they didn’t earn at all, they regularly force it in and pretend it was there all along. they peddle to the most simplistic and pedestrian slice of their audience and while it may be the most lucrative business model, it’s also always the death of good storytelling.

and this is officially a rant now, I’m so sorry, anon, but I doubt I will be able to offer anything else when asked about this trash fire. but these issues are all the basic whys of needing solid writing on any show and it is missing on TBL in a way I haven’t quite experienced w/ other shows. I mean, it’s like they purposefully go for the most bland or shittiest path every time they stumble on a semi-promising crossroads. But if I had to pick just one writers room to see how they would tackle all this, I think the “Person of Interest” team would be my top choice bc they navigated all the issues above really well on their own show, imo.

And how do I wish the post-S3A era had played out? In any other way, essentially. Liz and Red locked in an antagonistic-obsessive push-and-pull where both can meaningfully fulfill their own set of goals & desires amidst reasonable compromises? cool. Closing ranks against a 3rd party and choosing to work together to meaningfully fulfill their own set of goals and desires amidst reasonable compromises? cool. the meaningless flip-flopping btw the two that undercuts both characters and plunges the story into a mire of manufactured angst in retcon land? not cool but apparently that’s all they can offer.

#anonymous #rants #it felt good to let it out tho thank you

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carefulvenom · 5 years

Text

Dream Come True

Anonymous said: WRITE SOMETHING WHERE THE READER DREAMS ABOUT NATASHA AND HER HAVING SEX AND WHEN SHE SEES NAT THE NEXT DAY SHE'S ALL HOT AND BOTHERED AND EVENTUALLY NAT FINDS OUT AND ONE THING LEADS TO ANOTHER AND WOW IM SO GAY RIGHT NOW

A/N: first of all..same..big fat mood. the gay train never stops. second, I had a lot of FUN writing this, although I can never tell if ppl want top/bottom reader?? so I hope this works well for you (; <3

Word Count: 2.2k

Warnings: Smut

Hands are roaming your body, soft to the touch - but rough when they squeeze and scratch. You feel a touch lingering on your inner thigh when the hand pulls away. The air is thick and hot, your chest is rising and falling quickly with anticipation and longing, and you crave something more.

A pair of lips crash on to yours, thick and full. They’re working fast and forcefully, begging to feel more of you. You sit up and place one hand on the small of the mystery figure’s back, one on the back of their neck. They’re on their knees, leaning over you on the bed, kissing you hard. Your heads are moving, bobbing back and forth, moving and craving to feel each other. The lips remove themselves from yours and find themselves sucking on your neck. You throw your head back, moaning. You spread your legs, too, ready to be touched. It’s a need, a desire, that needs to be filled now.

You lift your shirt off quickly and shove your shorts down your legs and kick them off across the room. You lay back with your eyes squeezed shut, one hand cupping your left breast and rolling your fingers around your nipple. Your right hand wanders down as you spread your folds apart and slowly spread your slick around. A warm, wet sensation arises and you feel their tongue on your pussy. You’re already a mess underneath them, as their tongue licks circles around your clit and then sucks softly on it. Your moans fill the room and you’re reveling in pleasure. You open your eyes and look down and see a head full of red hair, bobbing and moving around on your pussy. Moving back slightly, you’re a little unnerved.

“Something wrong, sweetness?” a voice asks you while looking up at you from in between your legs. It’s Natasha. Your roommate.

You awake drenched in sweat with a pool in your panties. You’re disoriented, confused, and turned on. You’re sitting upright, clenching the sheets stuck to your skin as your breathing starts to slow.

“Holy shit,” you whisper to yourself, getting out of bed. “Okay.”

Water sounds good right now considering you lost a lot of body fluid in your sleep. You’re making your way to the kitchen to grab a glass of water and a piece of toast. Jesus, you think. That was so hot. I had a fantasy about my roommate. You’re still a little confused and your mind doesn’t seem to stop thinking about the way Natasha was touching you, the way your body was begging for her, the way she tasted when she kissed you so deeply. You shrug it off and down your water, placing your bread in the toaster.

Working from home is a god sent opportunity and you’re so glad you took it. You’re on your laptop, typing up a storm for the magazine article you’re working on, taking sips of tea occasionally. As odd as it seems, you tend to be more motivated when you’re home when you expected yourself to procrastinate.

Everything is going well lately, you’re caught up on bills and your work and you have plenty of time to yourself. In fact, you could stop working right now and plop down on the couch and maybe even have a movie marathon. Maybe touch yourself to the thought of her. But it’s 5PM now and Natasha will be home soon, so you’re busying yourself. You know you cave under pressure very easily, and you know that you’d make an absolute mess of the situation if you talk to her at all. Nat is just the kind of woman to stare you down for 3 seconds and you’ll end up telling her your whole life story. That’s kinda hot. Maybe she should be a spy or interrogator.

You’re sipping your tea slowly, leaning back in your chair to admire all the writing you got done, when you hear the door to your apartment open. Keys clatter on the foyer table and footsteps get closer to you. You quickly move back to your keyboard and start typing nonsense, words and symbols strung along your screen. It kind of looks like-

“Fall asleep on your keyboard or something?” Natasha’s voice fills the room from behind you and sends shivers down your spine. You think about the last time she asked a question, you know, like the one in your dream. You turn to look at her quickly, then face back to your screen.

“Uh, no, well not really. I just-” you scramble for words and you’re already handling this situation very shitty. “It’s nothing.”

Her hand grazes your shoulder and she pulls you to look at her. You spin around in your chair and stand up to face her. Her red hair is curled and it frames her face in the most flattering way possible. There’s a smirk on her plump lips, an eyebrow slightly cocked. Her eyes are yearning for information, curious. She’s got you wrapped around her finger with just a look. Just the way she looks at you is enough. You’re screwed.

“No...” she starts. “What’s going on, Y/N? You’re all flustered. Did I catch you doing something bad?” She teases, putting extra emphasis on the last part.

“No! No, you didn’t! I’m not doing anything at all. I just...sometimes when I can’t think of anything else to write I slam on the keyboard and wait for words to come out.” you blurt, quite loudly, voice raising about an octave. You’re cursing yourself for sounding so dumb. You were foolish to even think you could have this under control. You were stupid to think that you’d be able to face Nat normally after having the hottest dream you’ve ever had and fantasizing about her all day long.

“Uh uh, yeah.” Nat crosses her arms and looks at the ground. A laugh escapes her lips. “What’s really going on, sweetness?”

Your brain seems to crash. It’s like you opened too many windows on your browser. You’re freaking out. She used the same damn word from your dream in the same damn tone. She’s staring at you, eyes squinting with that damn smile creeping across her lips. You’re stood there for what seems to be hours when she finally laughs and nods her head. Natasha’s figured you out, of course.

“I get it. You had a dream about me.”

“What??” You try to sound genuine, but you just end up looking like a bad actress.

“You....” she starts, and steps closer to you. She’s right in front of you and you can feel her breath on your face, and you can smell her perfume. “Had a sexy dream about me, Y/N. I heard you this morning when I left for work. Seemed like you were having a good time.”

Holy shit. She knows. She knows that you were dreaming about her. You were dreaming of her lips on yours, on your neck on your...

“Yeah,” you say to answer her, but mainly to stop your train of thought. “What about it? You just gonna tease me about it non-stop?”

She smiles even wider at that and leans in even closer. “You’re the tease. Hearing your moans when you’re ‘trying’ to be quiet late at night, seeing you walk around in a loose t-shirt and underwear...” She trails off.

You’re definitely bright red now. Your face is hot, so is your chest, and the warmth seems to radiate down to your core. Natasha is admitting to thinking about you, too. You can’t deny that even before the dream, you’d stare at her out of the corner of your eye when she would be in her towel, dripping wet from the shower. Or how she’d bend over in those dress pants and you could see her perfect round ass and try not to stare.

Fuck it.

You lean in and tilt your head, staring Natasha directly in the eye, not even an inch apart. Your lips are on hers in an instant. Her body relaxes, and one of her hands is on your ass, and one hand is on your cheek. Her mouth opens and you feel her plump lips kissing you back forcefully. She tastes just like you expected, she’s sweet and soft but right now she’s treating you so roughly. You love the way she’s touching you with her hand cupping your chin and cheek for a grip. You love the way she grunts when she rubs and squeezes your ass. You moan loudly as she pulls away from your lips and spanks your ass.

“I wanna make you moan like that dream did,” she purrs. “My bed. Now.”

She leans in to kiss you deeply once more before pulling you along a couple steps to the bedroom. You arrive in the doorway and she’s kicking out of her pants and unbuttoning her blouse as she kisses you. Her top is off and she’s left with a bra and a pair of lacy underwear, staring you up and down. She pushes you on the bed and you’re on your back as she crawls on top of you, kissing down your neck. She goes real slow, licking a stripe behind your ear and down your neck before sucking softly on it. You’re a mess, squirming, moaning and whispering her name.

“Nat, please,” you cry out. “I want you.”

“I know you do. And I’m gonna give it to you.”

Natasha unclasps her bra, freeing her tits. They’re perfect, big and round, and waiting to be touched. You wriggle underneath her and pull your shirt off, and lean in to kiss her again. You sit forward and unclasp your bra leaving you in just your pants, the next thing to come off. You throw them carelessly across the room. Natasha’s already taken her panties off. She’s completely naked and absolutely stunning. Her red hair is sticking to her face with sweat and her nipples are hard, ready to be touched. You’re panting, out of breath, and you’re staring at Natasha who is staring at you. She pushes you back and leans in to kiss your neck again, this time moving faster. She makes her way down to your tits, licking quickly at your nipple and then sucking on it softly. She alternates between them, one hand plays with your breast while her mouth is working your nipples. You’re drenched, you’re aching and craving for her. If she’s that good on your tits, imagine how she feels on your pussy.

“Fuck,” Natasha moans softly. “You’re so fucking sexy. I’ve been waiting for this forever.”

She kisses fast, but tender, down your abdomen. She reaches your navel and starts licking down to your slit, slowly. You throw your head back and moan, unknowingly moving your hips closer to her face. She smirks up at you, and grabs your thighs, pulling you closer. Her arms are linked around your legs as her elbows rest on the bed. Her back is arched and you can see her perfect, tight ass.

Her tongue returns to your pussy this time focusing on your clit. She starts off slow, eagerness spilling off her tongue. She sucks on it softly, earning a gasp from you. She continues sucking and the pressure goes up, increasing your pleasure. You’re spewing curses and moans and you’re falling apart. She starts licking circles on and around your clit, picking up the pace from slow to fast, then going fast to slow. Her fingers find your folds, spreading them and playing with them as she alternates between sucking and licking your clit. Your hands find her head, bringing her even closer as you start to shake.

A flash of intense pleasure goes through you as Natasha shoves a finger inside of you. She works it slowly so she can stretch you out. You can’t believe this feeling, the feeling of euphoria from just one finger and some sucking. Nat is magic, you’re convinced. She shoves another finger inside of you, this time curling the ends of both fingers. Working faster, she pumps in and out of you as you lift your hips up off the bed unable to control yourself. She grasps you harder and pulls you back down on the bed, her free hand reaches up to play with your tits. She’s sucking on your clit while fingering you and playing with your tits. Just when you think you can’t take anymore, when you think you’ve reached your breaking point, Nat shoves a third finger inside you.

“F-f-FUCK!” You scream, crying out. “Oh my fucking God!”

“That’s it,” She mumbles with her face in your cunt. “That’s a good girl. Cum for me.”

You don’t need any more convincing than that. Your hips rise off the bed and you shake, mumbling and moaning loudly. The pressure that built up is being released and you’re convinced that you’ve never felt anything better. You’re off the edge, euphoria rushing through you as you orgasm. Natasha follows you as you flail around the bed, continuing to fuck you with her fingers. She’s moaning and grunting too, enjoying every last second of your orgasm.

You fall down on to the bed, hands over your head. Your breathing is harsh and heavy and your body is sweaty. There’s a grin on your face as you stare at the ceiling. You can’t really seem to do anything else, you feel stuck in your euphoria.

“Did I live up to your dream, Y/N?” Natasha asks, breaking the silence.

You turn to look at her and smirk. “Of course you did. You did better.”

She giggles and tucks your hair behind your ear. A soft kiss is placed on your lips followed by a thumb swiping your cheek.

“How about you make my dream come true?” She teases.

“C’mere. I’ll show you.”

#natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romanoff #natasha romanoff smut #natasha romanoff x reader smut

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dkettchen · 5 years

Text

BLACK MIRROR S5E1 “STRIKING VIPERS” E X P L A I N E D

-with the help of gender and game theory-

Y’all asked for it so here we go

Some things before we start: -If you were watching the episode looking for gay/trans shit, and got disappointed, I’m sorry but I can’t help you because that’s just not what the episode was about and that is ok. It explored some aspects of queer experience, and the limbo between queer and cis-straight experience, that isn’t usually addressed in such an honest and indepth way, which I think is just as important as trans or gay rep. -I will focus my analysis on the core theme of what certain academics writing about androgyny call the “moment of transgression” so in this case the question of ‘what is Karl/Roxette’s deal & what does that mean for Danny/Lance’s feelings toward and interactions with them?’. -CW: transphobia, homophobia, toxic masculinity, (rpg) uncanny valley stuff, you get it, you know what subjects we’ll be talking about here.

Now!

I’d like to start by pointing out the title “Striking Vipers” to get the phallus talk out of the way right off the bat x’D: It’s a very blatant penis metaphor, and Vipers specifically are venomous, so represent toxic masculinity. The image of them striking signals danger. The repetition of phallic symbols represents the threat of castration (see medusa turning them bois to stone & the heroic masculinity of the mirror shielded boi who managed to defeat her), which to phallocentric masculinity is the scawiest thing there is (losing the phallus = losing manhood = death?? I guess??). Striking Vipers means that toxic masculinity, by nature, is a threat to itself. (I could talk for hours about the exact warped logic of phallocentricity but Imma spare y’all cause I don’t think it’s relevant for this, I’d even go as far as saying this episode was anti-phallic (which I use here as a more inclusive word for “feminist”, as the episode’s core is about two guys, but still focused on them experiencing and embracing feminine power and freeing themselves from phallocentricity(/patriarchy)’s grasp, just like “what men want” was preoccupied with the toxic masculinity of its female protagonist)) That sets up the kind of horror the episode will be about, the male fear of castration, of loss of identity, of having to face the fact that traditional masculinity is toxic even to the people who conform to it. 10/10 title choice.

Next up: the core question of what label to put on Karl and Danny’s VR interactions (‘Fellas, is it gay to fuck ur best friend in a lady body in VR?’). Which leads to the first question which is: what gender is Karl when he’s playing as Roxette? An essentialist might say: ‘Well he’s a man irl so he’s still a man even if he plays with a female avatar. Danny’s attraction to him is either him being trapped or just plain old gay.’ But I don’t think that’s the case. It’s not a trap scenario (have some videos on traps and how they’re not real actually: (x.), (x.)), because both people involved know the exact parameters of the situation. Danny knows this is Karl in Roxette’s body, there’s nothing hidden, no misunderstanding to be had here. I also don’t think it’s gay because if it was this would’ve happened irl or with two male avatars, but it only happened once one of them was in a female avatar, that was the change that made it happen. It’s not a fetishising phallic/trans women scenario either, because it’s the opposite, it’s a man’s mind in a woman’s body. There’s no doubt about Karl being a man irl, a queer man sure, but definetely a man. He’s just too into -womanhood while playing her for me to say he’s still male when he’s in that form, like Karl as Roxette isn’t a trans guy as a man’s mind in a female body usually would be (like f.e. Ranma 1/2), I also don’t think Karl as Roxette is an androgyne/non-binary/third term either, because again, he’s embracing her womanhood and the role that comes with it, to the extreme that is hetero PiV sex, too much. I’d argue what we see is the closest to the liberation and euphoria described by other queer men when doing drag, she’s just a more extreme version of drag, of crossplaying, making the fantasy real, wearing not only the clothes of a woman but the body too. Roxette as Karl’s avatar is an alter ego, who is female, so -on the risk of sounding like the biggest performativist since Judith Butler- Karl as Roxette presents as female, so, for all intents and purposes, is female in that moment, regardless of his irl persona maintaining his male gender outside of that.

But that wasn’t what we wanted to know, was it. Because even if, in the moment that Karl plays Roxette, we can say that person is female, that doesn’t eliminate the fact that Karl, outside of that, isn’t and that he’s still the one playing her. It’s the notion of how the player/actor/performer and avatar/character/persona aren’t the same thing and can have different relationships with someone in real life vs in the game, and how that can be confusing to think about because there is no clear line between the two, something that is called “bleed” in ludology(/game studies, from lat. ludus: game or school; referring to the gladiator schools in like the colosseum), despite their relationships being fundamentally different (in this case friendship irl vs passionate love in game). Take TAZ as an example: The McElroys are related, but in playing a trpg, the DM, usually Griffin, takes up the mantle of all NPCs in the game world, including love interests. Griffin played Julia, Kravitz, and Danny (different Danny lol), but he’s talking to his brother, except he isn’t, is he, cause it’s not Griffin talking and it’s not his brother responding, it’s two characters interacting. A similar uncanny valley can be found in actor/character bleed: Take Ludi and Pom (the actors for Lance and Roxette) in this one: like 80% of their screentime was spent making out or having fake sex. These actors aren’t dating (as far as I’m aware lol), this is their job, to fake love each other on screen, imagine having to do that with a coworker you feel nothing for. It’s the characters that feel something and you have to play that feeling (which is so meta at that point, they’re playing characters that are avatars being played by characters in the show). Also, talking of role-playing, can we appreciate the scene of Danny & Theo at the bar where they’re role-playing and she’s like that was hot and he’s like mental note bae’s into role-playing, because DAMN that foreshadowing of the erotic potential of roleplay as a concept.

But it’s not role-playing really either with Danny and Karl, is it? They’re playing in avatars other than themselves but they’re not fully a different person. They still very much feel the same just in a different form. Their emotions are real even though they might only apply to part of their experience, the in-game part. Yet they obviously take them seriously and personal and get influenced by them outside the game. Maybe the question is what is and is not role-playing? Where does the bleed start and end, and do we even need to know the answer to those questions? They answer those questions for themselves in the end by testing out their feelings irl to see if they track or not, fully ready for both possibilities (which 10/10 character development love it). They want clarity. It’s about the emotional limbo fantasy brings with it. It’s the same question “Are traps gay” is about. (Not the “Is it ok to feel attracted to androgynous ppl” one necessarily, but) “Does feeling attracted to the fantasy mean you feel attracted to the “real” thing underneath?” Are the feelings for the fantasy alone or also for the reality? Are they only applicable to the latter and does that change something about what you thought you knew about yourself? It’s a question about the fringe edges of limited/monosexuality and the very fabric of reality.

Let’s return to Karl to look at his experience as Roxette. We’ve established that she is female, but what is Karl while playing her? In the spirit of queer drag as liberating, it’s almost like he’s taking a break from being Karl when playing as her. Drag, crossplay, or this extreme version of it, functions as a break from the toxicity and limitations of traditional gender roles (so in this case traditional masculinity). It is freeing, though what does it free? Some genderless spirit inhabiting each person? But then how do you explain the firm gender identity lots of people, including for all we know Karl, experience in everyday life? As a trans person I know that there is SOMETHING to gender on some level that can create gender dysphoria (social and/or physical) for people when put in a body they don’t identify with. As a drag performer, trpg enthousiast, and notorious crossplayer, I know that taking a break from that reality and being somebody else can be relieving, a break from your own problems. So what is that part of us that translates into fantasy? I feel like this goes into transhumanist territory which I don’t know enough about to even attempt to provide an answer. I think what it comes down to in terms of gender theory is, this is a situation at the height of where performativism is true and relevant. There is a relativity to the nature of reality and gender itself. Whatever base essence there is that causes gender dysphoria at a mismatch between outside and inside, doesn’t apply here. Both notions (of essential and performative gender) are real and have an impact on people but neither is always the case and neither is never the case. They’re not mutually exclusive.

So, seeing as it seems impossible to pinpoint what gender Karl/Roxette qualifies as (other than all and/or none), let’s look at the nature of Danny/Lance and Karl/Roxette’s interactions and feelings toward those interactions and each other to try and contextualise what label(s) they might fit under. The desire on Danny’s side when faced with Roxette’s form shows itself in a way he’d never feel toward Karl. That visual change, and the social changes it brings with it (in gender role), makes it so extreme, because it pairs the parts of his friend he appreciates and enjoys (personality and whatever deeper connection a close friendship brings with it), with a form that is attractive to him. That change translates to Karl too. In playing with this new form that has a different role and a different effect on someone he’s known for so long, he flows into that, melts into this new persona and lives it up! The way they interact in game isn’t gay. It is very much reflecting how straight attraction and female sexuality works. On one hand it’s based in undeniable difference (hetero = different), and on the other hand Karl/Roxette’s enjoyment thereof is based in being desirable, in having that power of seduction just by existing, that notion of feminine power and the freedom that comes with it. It’s not autogynephilia, that would imply he gets off on the idea of himself as a woman, which is not the case, he gets off on being desired as a woman, which is what female sexuality is about (source: ContraPoints’ Autogynephilia video (which I recommend, it’s very good))

Still whenever Karl tries to get Danny to keep having VR sex with him/Roxette, he talks about her in 3rd person, like a persona. In saying “it’s just like porn” he poses something that is very much a different activity (acting out the porn by -doin’ it-) as a homosocially (social as opposed to sexual/romantic) acceptable one (watching porn together which I’ve been told is a thing). He attempts to differentiate himself from his female persona and enjoyment there-of (by objectifying her, like a porn actress to be watched rather than identified with), himself and Danny from the queerness (in enjoying femininity and in Danny being down with basically fucking a drag-queen) and to retreat back into heteronormative traditional masculinity, away from the scawy unknown of exploring your sexuality. His internalised homo- and transphobia makes him suppose that Danny, as a supposed straight guy, will only respond to the safety of assured non-queerness, which, honestly, I don’t think is the case with him. Karl supposes his cancelling on him and not wanting to do it anymore is out of the fear for his sexual identity or whatever, but from what I can tell, while Danny also seems to be rather confused about what it all means, the reasons he cancels their nightly sessions, and rejects Karl/Roxette, are always about not wanting his marriage to fall apart. He quite clearly prefers hot VR sex to hanging out with his wife, and cancels out of duty to her rather than fear. Even the first time they kiss, Karl is the one to freak out first. Danny seems much calmer about the attraction part of the situation, to the point of in the end being the one to take initiative and make them try it out irl to put an end to the confusion.

The episode hits hard because it takes the way men play video games and brings it to its logical conclusion. Video games are mens safe-space, and they do play with that playful flirty banter. The show takes that and makes it real, including taking it to its extreme conclusion that is -doin’ it-. It infiltrates the male safe space by taking normalised behaviour, and taking it so far that it puts traditional masculinity and heteronormative attraction in question, the very thing the safe space was supposed to protect them from. That’s why it’s existentially horrifying for the main characters (and viewers that identify with them) and qualifies as a black mirror episode even without having a homo-/trans-/biphobic ending (like other media that put traditional masculinity in question usually do, not to mention all the horror based in queer-coding)

Hope y’all enjoyed this journey into a bit of mind-bending game and gender theory! Pls don’t expect me to do this like ever again bc I need to go work on my actual essay rip x’D

#long post #Black Mirror #BM: Striking Vipers #games studies #gender studies

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grandmasterofwangxiancultivation · 5 years

Text

SV ch.55

Okay I’m nervous.

Looking at the style of murals to the sides of the corridor, there was a strong yin ambiance, and it was clear to see this was Luo Binghe’s headquarters in the Demon Realm.

But I am totally not panicking.

EDIT:

The two both had nothing to say, not giving each other a sideways glance. One in front and one behind, their footsteps made no breath of sound. The atmosphere was stiff and cold.

This is the definition of PAIN. I need some bingqiu communication right now

EDIT 2:

Pushing open the door and entering, the furnishings and arrangement of the room were quite familiar-looking. In fact, it was quite similar to the bamboo house on Qing Jing Peak.

Omg. OMG. So let me get this straight. Lbh spent years mourning his Shizun, keeping the wounds he had left him, keeping sqq's broken sword, keeping his freaking corpse and (now we find out) making a room similar to the one in the bamboo house-

This is borderline obsession and yet my heart aches for lbh so much i just... PLS Shizun. PLS.

EDIT 3:

Now acting like a miserable child and throwing tantrums, making his heart overflow with sympathy. Now again hitting his face and telling him it was all an act. Real or fake, his eyes weren’t sharp enough to clearly see autumn feathers and see through Luo Binghe’s heart to understand what he was really thinking, some parts truth and some parts hypocrisy.

(Guys, sqq is angry because lbh put on a facade in the dreamscape. He is angry and disappointed and wary of lbh possibly using the same "trick" on him again and again just to move sqq's heart. I honestly thought Shizun had understood by now.

Like, okay, lbh tricked him the second time to see if that was really Shizun or just a figment of his imagination, but can you blame him?? You have been dead for years, sqq!! He probably went insane with pain, has always been in love with you when in his eyes you betrayed him by pushing him into the abyss, come on! If you two would just fucking talk-)

While he was still brooding over these thoughts, Luo Binghe walked a step closer to him.

(A n X i E t Y)

EDIT 4: here is an exemplar of Shizun using a series of excuses to keep himself rooted in place and not back down in front of an advancing lbh. Still, he is a mess inside.

BRAVE SHIZUN.

But he was still inevitably tense, his heart stretched taut as a bowstring, his eyelids jumping and fingertips curled.

How was Luo Binghe so perceptive? He advanced another step.

“Shizun, what do you think I’m going to do to you?”

(o m g. Omg o can't feel my legs-) 　

Shen Qingqiu said sincerely, “I cannot guess.”

EDIT 5:

Luo Binghe reached out his right hand. Shen Qingqiu didn’t make a sound or movement, but his gaze couldn’t help but stick to his fingertips, following them as they reached out.

(I AM TOTALLY HYPERVENTILATING RN)

That hand was neat and slender. It didn’t look like the hand of a Demon Race young master who had already taken countless lives, but rather one which was born to pluck strings, a hand to burn incense and bathe in snow. It slid shyly over his cheek, faintly brushing his skin.

(OKAY SOMEONE NEEDS TO CALL AN AMBULANCE R I G H T T H E F U CK N O W 'CAUSE I DON'T THINK MY HEART BEATING OUT OF MY CHEST AND MY LUNGS CONSTRICTING LIKE THIS IS NORMAL?

LBH IS ToUcHiNg Shizun's cheek-)

And then it landed on his throat.

*chokes*

Lbh no- *whispers*

EDIT 6: I died, like, for 5 minutes before gathering the courage to go on. And BLESS GOD I DID BECAUSE

Luo Binghe retracted his hand. The next time he opened his mouth, it was impossible to tell if he was happy, angry, sorrowful, or joyful. “My blood, it’s not responding to my beckoning.”

AAAAHAHSNJXUDKEHXKE DO YOU WANNA KNOW WHY, BINGHE? YOU SEE, IT'S A FUNNY STORY. IT INVOLVES A SNAKE-MAN, MAIDEN SHIZUN AND MANY WOMEN-

EDIT 7:

Luo Binghe said, “It looks like in these short few days, Shizun has had another fortuitous meeting.”　

Shen Qingqiu said, “Well, what can you do about it? Make me drink it again?”　

Luo Binghe said, “You’ll run if you drink it, you’ll run if you don’t, both options are the same. I had better not make Shizun add another layer of loathing for me in his heart.”

(OKAY NO. N O. I'm not good with tension. I can't bear it. So pls stop and no one will get hurt, okay?)

Luo Binghe fixed his gaze on him for a time, then said, “Is there anything you desire?”

Shen Qingqiu said, “Anything is acceptable?”

Luo Binghe nodded. A sudden malicious sentiment arising from his gut, Shen Qingqiu bluntly said, “I want to see you as little as possible. Best if I never see you at all.”

(WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT

THIS IS WRONG, WHAT NOVEL IS THIS, WHAT THE FUCK FUCKITY FUCK

okay it's a joke, right? Ah ah ah ah funny, now stop this. When I said I desperately wanted these two to meet, i meant to pray for FLUFF. NOT THIS. THIS. WHATEVER THE HELL IT IS.

MY HEART IS BREAKING? DO I DESERVE IT, AFTER PATIENTLY WAITING FOR THEM TO MEET? I dOn'T fUcKiNg ThInK sO, so freaking solve this-)

Luo Binghe looked like he never expected Shen Qingqiu to make this sort of request, his face paling.

(SHIZUN YOU WERE MORE CLUER THEN A FREAKING DEMONIC LORD. HUG HIM. HuG hIm Or I sWeAr-)

If you are hearing something, IT'S ME SCREAMING LIKE A MADWOMAN. THIS IS GETTING RIDICULOUS.

EDIT 8: thank you, system, your presence always makes my anger cool off. I love reading Shizun talk to it, it reminds me this novel is too good to be true, an yet it exists. Bless.

With a ringing notification sound, the System quietly began to download the upgrade package. Shen Qingqiu had a sudden thought and asked, “Right, what is the name of this feature upgrade?”

The System: 【Small Scenario Pusher Luxury Edition.】

SEE SEE I LOVE THE SYSTEM, IT ALWAYS KNOWS WHAT TO DO. NOT ONLY THE SMALL SCENARIO PUSHER IS BACK, IT CAME IN A L U X U R Y EDITION.

Let's go bring down those heartbreak points now

EDIT 9:

With many official duties to attend to, perhaps unable to extricate himself, all along he had not shown his face.

…or maybe that day, his glass heart had been shattered by Shen Qingqiu’s harsh words, and he didn’t dare to appear.　

Shen Qingqiu tore his thoughts away from that latter path with great difficulty.

IS THAT REGRET, SHIZUN? IS IT? I S I T? System, pls summon me and let me go hug lbh or else I'll cry

EDIT 10:

Furthermore, Luo Binghe didn’t act like the characters in the books his younger sister liked to read in his previous life and shackle him with chains, blindfolded and gagged, stripped and beaten. He might as well be content with whatever he has and make himself at home wherever he is.

(SY HAD A YOUNGER SISTER? DO YOU THINK SHE READ HARDCORE BL?)

Bull***t!　

For Shen Qingqiu to attempt to comfort himself with these words, there must be sh*t in his brains! He wasn’t some sort of Stockholm syndrome patient, feeling deep gratitude for being fattened in captivity. Don’t you understand, you need to bring about a fortunate lifestyle yourself, not by relying on others’ charity?!

(You're right, Shizun, of course. That's why there is a pretty simple solution- TALK TO LBH WITHOUT ACCUSING HIM, TRY TO UNDERSTAND. WOULD YOU?)

EDIT 11: this chapter is playing with my patience. Bamboo does not grow in the Demon Realm, but lbh ordered for ppl to find a way. Shizun FLIRTED WITH A MAID ASKING FOR SOMETHING TO EAT BUT THAT BOWL WAS PREPARED BY LBH, BECAUSE IT HAS THE SAME TASTE AND NO ONE EATS HUMAN FOOD THERE AND IT BREAKS MY HEART AND I JUST CAN'T OKAY I AM CRYING STOP THIS SHIT

EDIT 12: sqh is here!

OH. SO HE SOLD SHIZUN OUT. OH, okay. I don't know if I should hate him or congratulate him, I never know if I should consider the events from the point of view of a reader or a writer, me being both (I mean, like, I occasionally write, so I know sometimes one makes characters do strange, despicable things, not like I am a super pro write didn't want to sound pretentious, eh eh), so I'm like "what the fucking hell sqh, what about friendship?" and "omg good job mxtx, this character is so interesting, what even is moral ptf!"

And now

Lbh

Gave Xiu Ya sword back to Shizun. Let's add this to the increasingly long list of "things that show how much lbh cares for Shizun and make my heart crack"

EDIT 13:

On the other side, Shang Qinghua laughed nervously and rubbed his hands, clicking his tongue and saying, “Aiyah, I really, really never thought… the storyline would bend so far out of shape. Remarkable, really remarkable.”

Shen Qingqiu: “The stallion novel protagonist you wrote turned into a cut-sleeve, shouldn’t you be angry?”

Shang Qinghua said sincerely, “It doesn’t matter. Either way, the one he fell for wasn’t me.”

(there, see? I love him.)

Shen Qingqiu gave him a cordial middle finger, lowering his head to polish his sword. Shang Qinghua gave him a thumbs-up. “Really, you don’t need to be so pessimistic. You have good prospects for the future, quite good prospects. These golden thighs, they’re strong, reliable!”

Shen Qingqiu said, “Take your ****ing golden thighs. If I have to hug those thighs, where do you think they’ll take me? Between the legs!”

Shang Qinghua: “Between the legs is even better, ah. Between the legs is a man’s most important place.”

(OMG OMG THIS turning out too good I'm having too much fun!!

Sqh surely is a man of wisdom. BLESS HIM.)

EDIT 14: okay plot, PLOT.

“…” At long last Shen Qingqiu knew the true origin of all those plot holes. “So you just went to write the harem plotline, and might as well leave the more serious Bing-ge’s dad plotline full of holes?”

(So the big final boss should have been lbh's dad? FATHER-IN-LAW IS REALLY GONNA SHOW UP IF SHIZUN FILLS THE HOLES? I AM SO SO S O O O O FREAKING EXCITED.

But I am honestly scared, 'cause this means whatever sqh's previous plan for the novel were, they may still happen. That means everyone is potentially in danger, if the danger is not lbh.)

EDIT 15: SQH WAS GONNA SAY SOMETHING USEFUL ABOUT HOW HE WANTED TO BUILD SQQ'S CHARACTER AND THEN WHAT?

Lbh comes.

Like, I love you baby, but-

Luo Binghe’s eyelashes drooped. After standing for a bit, it seemed he had come to a major decision. He said stiffly, “Even though those earlier events happened in a dream realm, I took advantage of Shizun. But the feelings I revealed to you then, those were not false.”

(GOOD BABY. G O O D. Let it sink, let Shizun understand how much you care.l

EDIT 16: lbh is trying to finally, finally let Shizun understand how he felt and why he did what he did and I'm so glad he is trying. I get why these two would need to learn how to trust one another all over again, that is totally okay, it's fine if they need to guard their feelings for a while before settling this problem, so reading about them talking, about lbh trying to reach Shizun fills me with hope.

His face gradually settled into a gloomy expression from his sneer. Drawing closer the distance between the two, he said, “But what if I said, that towards Shizun, I only remember, not hate, most likely I wouldn’t be believed.”

SEE. SEE.

#scum villain’s self saving system #scum villain #the scum villain’s self saving system #svsss #sv #sv novel #sv ch.55 #sv fangirling mode

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octavianothing-blog · 5 years

Photo

Can’t wait for Mac Miller’s Spirit to enter the next body of a genius .

I was hit with the deepest depression of my life the day Mac Miller died.

I sunk into a place, covered myself with a blanket then with dirt then a stone to cover the tumb after I hung a do not disturb sign at the door.

It’s not because I was a huge Mac fan, knew every one of his lyrics or even could tell you much about his life.

But Mac Millers time marked significance in my time. His death reminded me of the death of friends and dreams. Conscious friends and lucid dreams.

I started smoking weed in 12 the grade. I had little to nothing and new little to nothing about myself. I was told I was intelligent. I didn’t know how to swim.

I was just a foster kids with no definition of home and no desire to make one or be subdued by the offering of one or family.

I was alone I felt alone. I was ok in that for years.

So like most teens when you first start smoking in highschool I bought weed from the proclaimed misfits, the kids whos two parents didn’t get them, loved kid cuddi,

smoked weed and who bummed cigarettes off each other .Going in on an 8th together. They took their dirty fingernails to the weed to break it up.

I watched friend’s roll it with his saliva and dark lips.

White and black alike we all gathered around.

They all loved Mac Miller. Wiz khalifa and didn’t give a fuck about the bell schedule.

School and the professors we didn’t give a shit about could wait.

.we stayed in time together. Drum kits and lyrics.

Id usually disappear after someone rolled me one that I bought myself. No I didn’t know how to roll for some time. Plus getting my shit rolled kept me apart of the social. I usually shared it with my girl at the time and was left alone to be alone. She was there .the smoke settling in her hair. That would later die smh.

. Mac was the artist of our time.

He felt what we felt.

Made us feel what he felt probably more than what we felt.

We were lost and he was finding him. He found someone he didn’t enjoy that was obvious. Someone sad, thought-filled and unhopefully dream filled.

He kept making music. Found an outlet in it like most of it.

We would sit on the grass or crouch on elevated cement fixtures around our highschool campus.

Feeling like The hunchback of Notre Dame most likely.

I stopped smoking my last day of college. Vowing to be satisfied with my life. But that’s a whole other conversation.

Over the years I’ve heard Mac Miller songs on my Spotify mix and thought he was sounding more and more like funk and soul. One song even sounded like j Cole’s in my opinion. I remember riding through Oakland saying who does this guy think he is?

What got him into this new sound?

I was now an unpaid music critic. I loved sound and vibes. Obsessed with connection and fucking my life up by the seconds I did nothing with this interest.

Fast forward three years later I move to Long Beach. Not LA.

It was the middle of August and I had just moved into a sweet apartment by the beach near bars and restaurants.

We had wood floors and a cute Ikea carpet. My gf and I, although I referred to her as my partner at that time to feel more adult, had finally created our space.

I wasn’t working but I had some money in the bank from a settlement I fought for all by myself. Autonomy right. Self reliance . Yea . American

Over the years I would take time to sit down and watch NPRs tiny desk series. That August I watched Macs. Seeing him there. His face around his eyes as orange as his hat on his head made me feel something about the way I felt everything. Deeply.

I knew he wasn’t well because I knew I wasn’t well.

I could hear his voice crack on syllables that pricked his heart and mind at the same. He covered his mouth like I had Everytime in life I felt unworthy.

He was melting inside like ice cream on an August day. While he was also the kid watching his ice cream melt.

He was here and there. The observer and participant. The performer and the audience and that duality did him as much harm as it did good.

He was tormented by his ability and inabilities. His insight and his refusal to change what he saw. I checked out his song 2009 a few times after watching that performance and thought he did a good job.

The day was hot and we had decided we would rescue this dog at a shelter over an hr away. This had been our third time going up there and knew for sure we’d bring the dog home that day.

We listened to our Spotify playlists as we drove. The vibe was sunnyish with over cast. I felt it creeping on my neck. Did I really want this dog? Or did she? But why ? We had a perfectly good dog in the back seat. She took the craziest shit on our beach towel and a hoodie we had on the back seat the last trip we made up to the shelter. Why didn’t we turn back then?

I was numb and just doing things that made sense and looked cute in social society.

So why not two dogs. Both the same breed. ? Shrug. I’ll drive.

I’d drive the hr drive there and back Everytime.

This was me.

My overly informative Google phone broke the news. I knew it was coming like the dark that comes every night.

I was gone couldn’t tell you where I went. I lived in that moment for almost 10 months. And I’m just getting out of it and reflecting on it now. Imagine I wasn’t completely me before . Now I was just a shipwreck far from the shore and anyone that could save me. I didn’t think I needed saving. I would save me . I swayed back and forth between those two action plans for a while. I just came to realized what actually saved me.

I write all this to say,

Mac Miller was one of a kind, a guy on the journey with truth to his truth.

He was famously himself. Awkward, nervous, artistic and lost like most of us who loved him are.

One of his most shocking lines for me was in a stupid song called Weekend ft Miguel where he said “ I fell asleep but forgot to die. ” (2:21)

Swimming was made for us he would leave behind

The young adults he captivated in his career and journey as a musician this lifetime.

What does it mean to swim

Keep trying

Go to it

Surrender to the waves and the tide in your style.

You don’t control the timing

Just how you react

Sometimes some ppl swimming drown

They tried we remember them for it.

Keep swimming.

Bring ur floaties

And most importantly your community/ friends.

I think about how many of us are still swimming everything.

My friend who’s ex fiancee left her and made her move out months after proposing.

My other friend who’s children’s dad emotionally and verbally abused her for 5 yrs.

My love who’s family came to the US to get a better life. Her mom who’s suffered debilitating back and knee pain but still works a cleaning job every day to make a living.

My dead friend’s brother. (I wish there was a better way to write that sentence)

We keep swimming. We keep at whatever we feel like we should. For whatever reason we can muster up for that season.

This year I’ve had some of the most violent tides. I’ve had to ask friends and community to carry me. I realized that I had the tendency to live in moments.

I snapped out of a couple moments I had been living in for years. Like the time I became homeless and snapped, or the time I ruined my relationship with a good friend because I was too immature.

Im now present wondering how could something last for so long without me realizing it.

I don’t try to play cool anymore.

I was brought to my purpose on the backs of mentors and friends. Waves were getting very rough for me to manage alone. I was reminded of my kindness the soul they saw and experienced when speaking with me, regardless of the shit I saw. I was brought to my heart by Yoga meditation and emptied my mind filled with so much emotional baggage by way of sifting items through my heart.

It’s a great exercise. Please try it.

Anyways on the Anniversary of Malcoms death. Im sitting up writing in a cafe like I’ve never before.

I am considering myself to be an empath. Recognize that I am someone who lives with, in and around depression. I have the tendency for addiction and have a mother who is preoccupied with my sexuality to even see my soul.

I have accepted things, moved on from others (friends, lifestyles, preconceived notions of me, jobs, ( I just put in my two months notice at an investment firm) and hung up the idea of entrepreneurship)

My purpose is to improve the quality of life for as many people possible. With this first published piece I hope to connect with others affected by the death of Mac Miller or anyone they’ve loved, admired and had hope in.

There’s a lot of us out here. Let’s begin to speak on it. Communication, Form Community, Commune. Speak, connect and eat at each others tables.

#mac miller #rip mac miller #community #music #misfits #yoga #communication #lostsouls #socialism #mourn #anxiety #depression #addiction #hope #swim #swimmimg

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