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iikatsukii · 1 year

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The Boy's a Liar

Synopsis: You are a young Na'vi named Koa. You and the Sully family have been inseparable since Lo'ak, your promised mate, chose you as his best friend. Though, devastatingly, his family is forced to flee the clan to ensure their safety. Will things be the same five years later when you and lo'ak meet again?

Pairings: Lo'ak x Omatikaya Fem!reader, Ao'nung x Omatikaya Fem!reader

Warnings: Major Awotw spoilers, death mention, swearing, mating mentions, Na’vi language.

Word count: 13k.

A/N: IT IS FINALLY DONE OMG GUYS IM SO EXCITED TO POST THIS AHHHHHHH!!!! ALSOI know I haven't uploaded for Missing Pieces in a while but balancing Avatar works and the missing pieces story plus my outside life is a bit difficult, but please be patient with me! I am trying. Please let me know how you guys feel about this story and if you want more Avatar stories.

Glossary: yawntu - loved one, yawntutsyip - little loved one, skxawng - idiot, sa'nu - mom (affectionate), sempul - father, parultsyip - term of affection for children

it was a day like any other. you were at the sullys’ home hanging out with kiri and tuk, waiting for the rest of the family to return from the raid. while you waited, kiri helped you with a new hairstyle that you wanted to try. it was just simple box braids with your natural hair, but you added some beads to the end.

you weren’t one for beads in your hair. neytiri and kiri always tried to get you to do it, but you never gave in. you complained that they made your head feel heavy and your neck hurt.

tuk got bored of listening to you guys, so she got up to play outside with the other kids in the village. “play nice, tuk!” kiri called after her little sister. tuk gave an absent-minded hum of agreement as she rushed out. you and kiri couldn’t help but giggle at the young girl’s free spirit.

you guys continue to braid your hair and chat for the next few hours until you hear the pitter-patter of little feet growing louder. tuk bursts into the tent as if on cue, shouting, “the war party is back! they are back!! come on! let’s go! let’s go!” luckily, kiri had just finished securing the beads on your last braid before tuk came in.

you and kiri both stood and ran out of the tent. you were just as eager for the return of the war party as tuk was.

because it meant the return of lo’ak

lo’ak has been your best friend since childhood. he has never left your side. not since the day you two met. you and lo’ak had been announced as promised mates back when the two of you were 15. now you’re both 17 and ready to be of age, so you can visit the tree of voices and mate before the great mother eywa, just like how he told you his parents did.

as you approached the heart of the village, you watched as all the warriors landed their ikrans. the village people chant and cheer in celebration of the warriors’ return. you looked around frantically until your eyes landed on precisely who you were looking for. still, before you could even step toward him, you noticed the dejected look on his face. not only him but neteyam too. neteyam, though, was roughed up way more than lo’ak was.

jake walked his boys past you and straight toward their home. you waited a few minutes, trying to respect their privacy as a family, but you couldn’t help yourself. you snuck over and pressed your back against the wall next to the entrance of their home, quietly listening in.

“you’re supposed to be spotters. how is it that i gave you direct orders, and you knuckleheads still managed to disobey them.” jake scolded his boys as neytiri stood behind them.

“now, ma jake, your son is actually bleeding,” she said, giving him a look. he just sighed and dismissed his eldest to go see his grandmother.

neytiri walked out of the tent and greeted you as she passed, “hello, koa, your hair looks beautiful.” you could only stare at her back in shock as she walked away, guiding her son to his grandmother’s tent. and just before neytiri was out of sight, she peered over her shoulder, making direct eye contact with you. then she winked, and immediately after, she was out of view.

you and neytiri had this adorable mother-daughter relationship in which she teased you about how you acted around her son, lo’ak since he was your promised mate. she would tease you whenever she caught you daydreaming or giggle and give you a knowing look when she noticed you and lo’ak’s entangled tails as you all sat for dinner.

you love neytiri. she was more of a mother to you than your actual mom, but you never told her that. they all think your home life is perfect, but everything is horrible behind closed doors.

before you could get deeper into your thoughts, your ears perked up at jake talking again.

“you do understand you almost got your brother killed today?”

“yes sir,” it was a quiet response from lo’ak. one full of insecurities. insecurities that you made a mental note to kiss away later when you met up at your ‘secret hideout,’ as lo’ak liked to call it.

“you’re grounded. no flying for a month. dismissed. oh, and go wash that shit off your face.” jake said before leaving lo’ak to be the only sully in their home. you stood from your hiding spot and silently slipped into their home, spotting lo’ak standing in the center of the room.

you noticed how his fists were clenched, and his frame shook, and then you heard the sniffles. you immediately walked over, wrapping your arms around him, palms pressed flat to his chest as you pressed your face between his shoulder blades. you felt his heartbeat, his breathing, heard his sobs, felt him shake.

“oh, lo’ak… i wish i could take this pain away for you,” you said as you felt tears coming to your eyes. you knew how much his fathers’ words hurt him.

lo’ak didn’t respond. all he did was turn in your grasp and push his face into your neck as he sobbed. slowly, you lowered your body, bringing you both to the floor so you could sit and hold him.

after a few minutes, you noticed he still had his face paint on. you got up, a process made way more complicated by who lo’ak didn’t want to let you go, grabbing a wooden bowl and a small cloth before sitting in front of the boy you love again.

reaching your hand, you raised his chin to see his face correctly. you wet the soft cloth with the water from the bowl, ringing it out a bit before introducing it to lo’ak’s face. you gently removed the war paint from his face, focusing on getting everything off.

while you’re focused on cleaning lo’ak’s face, he takes the time to admire your beauty. he takes in all of your features as if trying to memorize your face. you felt his gaze on you, but you didn’t mind it because lo’ak tended to do this often. he always sits quietly and admires you when you take his face paint off after the war party returns. once, you asked him what he was doing, but he just shushed you.

you pulled back from the boy, looking him in his eyes. you finished cleaning off his face, so you placed the cloth in the bowl, freeing up both of your hands. you cupped his cheeks, using your thumbs to wipe away his remaining tears. “lo’ak, why don’t we go to our secret hideout, hm? that always cheers you up.” you suggested, and the moment you said ‘secret hideout,’ lo’ak was sold.

“let’s go,” he said. his voice was hoarse and scratchy, probably from all the crying, but he ignored it. standing to his height and helping you with him, lo’ak grabbed your hand and started walking you out of his family’s home.

you didn’t get far, running into his back when he stopped suddenly. “ah- lo’ak! what was that for?” you said as you rubbed your nose, looking up at the taller boy. he turned to you and held your shoulders. “i have to do something before i leave,” he said, looking over at his grandmother’s tent. you could hear the voices of his siblings pouring out, and you could also see his parents sitting out front, talking.

you nodded in understanding. “it is okay, lo’ak, go. meet me there after, okay? don’t be long.” you said as you walked down the path the two of you usually took to get to your spot.

little did you know, as you were waiting for lo’ak at your hideout, he and his siblings were being held at gunpoint by rda avatars. the night had gotten so late that you laid down, hoping by the time you woke up, lo’ak would be next to you.

you stirred awake at the sound of forest animals and ikrans flying by. rubbing your eyes, you sit up, noticing that you had fallen asleep in the forest waiting on lo’ak to meet you. you were hurt that he stood you up, but you were pretty rational, so you hoped he had a good excuse for why he never showed.

when you returned to the clan, you noticed that everyone in the village was surrounding the ikran takeoff area. you were confused, so you walked over. pushing through the crowd, you saw the sully family once you got to the front. they had everything packed onto their ikrans, and you noticed neytiri was crying.

when jake noticed, you could see his demeanor visibly soften. neytiri saw you and only started crying harder. “neytiri, what is happening?” you asked cautiously, tears coming to your eyes. “oh, my sweet girl,” she said as she held her arms out for you, hugging you close. “our family is being hunted,” she whispered to you.

your entire world stopped. you knew exactly what this meant. “no. no. no. neytiri, jake, please don’t leave. please don’t leave me. this is your home. we will fight for you guys. we will protect you guys. please don’t go. you guys are my family.” you said in a whispered voice. jake and neytiri comforted you to the best of their ability, but then it struck you.

lo’ak.

you release your hold on neytiri and turn to face him. he had an unreadable look like he was scared or nervous.

you walked over to him with tears in your eyes. “you did not meet me last night, lo’ak, and now your family is leaving. what am i to do?” you sobbed. lo’ak pulled you into his chest, holding you while you cried. he cried, too, because this hurt him more than anything. you were the one person in his life who truly understood and loved him, and now he had to leave you.

“let me come with you,” you begged. “i can pack my stuff very quickly, i promise-” lo’ak cut you off, squeezing you tighter into his body. “koa. you can not come. you have to stay here. this is the only way i will truly know you are safe.” you shook your head. “lo’ak, please don’t do this, please. i will find you, my love. i will fly all of pandora just to find you.”

the boy looked over to his father, giving him some kind of signal, and jake motioned to two warriors over. they immediately got the hint, walking around to you, grabbing your arms, and pulling you away from lo’ak so he could mount his ikran.

“i know ma koa. i’m sorry,” he said.

“KEHE, PLEASE LET ME GO TO HIM,” you screamed and kicked and cried, begging them to let you go as the sully family took off into the distance. the scream you let out was bloodcurdling. lo’ak could hear it, despite the distance his family had already flown away. having your promised mate leave you right in front of your eyes felt like having your heart ripped out of your chest.

for five years, you have been flying around pandora, going from clan to clan, venturing through forests, and trying to find your promised mate. you never even thought about turning back; home has become a forgotten thought in your mind.

you and your ikran, seze, fled the omatikaya clan at night. not wanting anyone to see or hear you leave, but then again, it’s not like if you left at the busiest point of the day, it would’ve made a difference. nobody looked at you anymore, let alone acknowledged that you lived amongst them. so you took it upon yourself to leave. if everyone acted as if you didn’t exist, you might as well go; it’s not like anyone would have cared.

the omatikaya clan meant nothing to you, and you mean nothing to them.

at least that’s what you told yourself.

continuing to fly, you came across what looked like a young na’vi boy backing up toward a cliff edge. you analyze the situation further and notice a thanator slowly walking towards the child, emerging from its hiding spot. though you did not know the child, you still needed to save him.

“come on seze, yah!!”

your ikran took off towards the thanator, screeching. in one swoop, seze sunk his talons into the side thanators neck, killing him on impact. quickly removing your tsaheylu from seze, you slowly tried approaching the young boy, trying to coax him away from the cliff’s edge.

“hi, yawntutsyip, it is okay. i am not here to harm you. look,” you said as you slowly grabbed your bow and arrows, removing them from your body. you kicked them away, too, so the child would be more comfortable. you took another step closer, but he still cringed away. you looked down at your body and saw that you still had your knife on you. you quickly grabbed it and tossed it with your bow and arrows.

only then did the boy allow you to approach him. you wrapped your arms around the child, trying to soothe him from all the fear he had just experienced. you moved the two of you far, far away from the cliff. you sat against seze’s resting form, and the child curled up into you while you wrapped one of the blankets you packed when you left the omatikaya clan around the both of you. that boy had death at his front door, but you saved him.

the little boy pulled back from the hug, rubbing the tears out of his eyes. “irayo,” he said between hiccups and sobs. “it is okay, my child. you are safe,” you whispered.

“what is your name, my child?” you ask while trying to lull him to sleep.

“anuk,” he said, rubbing his eyes.

“hi anuk, my name is koa. you’re going to be okay, it is alright,” you said as you rocked him back and forth, planning on trying to find his home in the morning.

he was fighting his sleep, though, probably still running on adrenaline. looking up at you, he whispered, “i really like your bow.”

“thank you, anuk. my promised mate gave it to me. its very special to me.” you said, the vibrations from your voice soothing the boy, and the rocking motion only aided in lulling the boy to sleep.

you both lay under the stars of pandora’s night sky, seze remaining on guard so the two of you could rest in peace.

the young tawkamian boy held onto your leg as you loaded the last of your belongings onto the back of seze. you never got to tell neytiri about the name because your iknimaya happened after the sully family left.

returning to reality when you felt tiny hands squeezing your leg again, the big sad eyes of the little village boy meeting yours. “anuk~ you cannot come with me, paruitsyip. i’m sorry, but it’s my time to go.”

“no, koa, stay here!! we can be a family! i can have an older sister again,” the words out of the poor boy’s mouth saddened you. you kneeled to his height so you could look him in the eyes.

“i’m so sorry, ‘nuk, but my lover is waiting for me, so i have to find him. i hope you find love like this, so you will one day understand why i left. but remember me, you never know, i may come back and visit.” she said, smiling at the young boy.

you were aware of the loss of the chief’s daughter because it happened to be the same night you found anuk. the two children traveled into the forest just before eclipse until they got lost while trying to escape a thanator. the same one that attacked anuk the night you found him.

anuk said that while he and his sister were going on their daily hunt, äzan noticed that a baby thanator had wandered too close to the clan’s territories. she started to panic because that meant that the mother was not far behind. she tried to get anuk to safety, but before she could get anywhere, anuk noticed the mother thanator creeping in the branches above them.

the eldest child looked to her younger brother and whispered, “anuk, you run right now. you run and do not turn back for me no matter what you hear me? go, now!”

upon hearing his sister’s stern voice, the young boy took off, and it was only seconds before he heard his sister’s screams. he knew he couldn’t turn back, though. she told him he couldn’t and would rather be banished from his clan than disobey her last words.

the young boy sniffled, reliving his last memory of his sister. you, having been at the tawkami clan for a few months now, know the look on his face when he returns to that memory. “hey, anu’, stay here with me, okay? äzan is with eywa. she’s in good hands.” you said, hugging the child.

after a few minutes of tears and goodbyes, you finally set off to continue your journey to find your promised mate. it was always sad when you left a clan. the friendships and bonds you would build with the people of the villages were something you held close to your heart. and every time you left, it left your heart missing the warmth of the village people.

you think it had been about a week and a half, and you and seze were soaring around pandora. it wasn't until you started to see gorgeous blue waters that you perked up.

another day or so of flying goes by, and you see something as you pass over a clearing—or rather, someone.

there was a light-toned, almost turquoise, na'vi jumping around, looking like he was trying to get your attention. you waved back, and he started pointing somewhere, assuming that he was telling you to fly in that direction, so you followed. after a few minutes, you saw two more na'vi

and then three more

and then a whole group of them

and then, finally, you came across what you assumed was their homeland.

horns started blowing, signaling an arrival.

you slowly dismounted, where the water met the sea, and left seze on the beach. removing your flight gear, you notice a massive crowd of people staring at you. as this isn't your first time, you do what you've learned to do.

walking toward the crowd, you raised your hands in surrender, showing that you did not intend to harm anyone, the bow, arrows, and pocket knife that you left on seze's saddle makes that clear to the village people. but something was different about this clan.

it almost seemed as if they weren't shocked to see a na'vi from a faraway land.

after a few minutes, you're surrounded by these clan people. you have yet to learn what clan you are in or their leader. your attention is pulled to a tall man, who you assume is the clan leader, and you immediately acknowledge him.

"i see you," you said while also making the gesture.

he returned it, as well as a woman next to him who you assumed was the tsahik, so you gestured 'i see you' to her as well.

“who are you.” the woman hissed.

"hello. um.. my name is koa. i am a wanderer; i'm flying around pandora because i'm looking for someone." you explained, cowering away at the woman's hostility.

"i am tonowari, olo’eyktan, and this is my wife, ronal.” the tall man introduced himself and his mate

“what clan are you from, koa," ronal asked; you could hear the slight hiss in her voice as she said your name, as if she didn't want you to be here.

"i am from no clan." you say with your head down.

"well, you lived somewhere at some point? that place was?" tonowari pressed further.

“the forest. omatikaya.” you said, barely above a whisper.

"omatikaya? what is it with your people and seeing refuge with the metkayina clan, huh?" he joked, a few people around him laughing a bit too

"what do you mean?" you were confused. what was he talking about?

"you say you come looking for someone. who is this person?" ronal asked.

"i am looking for a man who goes by the name of lo'ak sully. does anyone of that name live here, or have you heard the name anywhere before?" you asked desperately,

the second you said his name, there were murmurs, gasps, and whispers from the crowd around you.

the two adults analyzed you. you were dirty, improperly dressed, and looked like you hadn't had a shower or meal in days. you looked exhausted. the mother in ronal stirred a bit.

tonowari and ronal turned to each other, sharing a look before looking at you again. they couldn't let you wander around anymore. not when they know where the person you're looking for is.

"come with me, my child; i am tsahik of the metkayina clan. you are going to be okay," ronal said as she wrapped her arms around you to support you while she walked you to her home. ronal doesn't know what it is about this child and why she's treating her differently than how she did the sully family, but that's not important right now.

"tonowari, go to the sullys and tell them an omatikayan girl is asking for lo'ak in our pod." her husband was moving within seconds of hearing his wife's demand, and the rest of the clan dispersed, going back to what they were doing.

you were sitting in ronal’s home for about 20 minutes before you heard heavy footsteps growing louder. it was only a few seconds until tonowari pushed the tent’s flap aside, but you were only greeted with four out of six faces that had left five years ago.

jake

neytiri

kiri

and tuk...

where the hell are lo’ak and neteyam?

the family looks at you for a second, and when they accept that it’s you, they rush over and scoop you up into the warmest hug you’ve had in years.

it brings tears to your eyes seeing the people who you’ve missed for five years.

“oh, my sweet girl. you’re here,” neytiri said, wiping the tears from your eyes.

“how did you find us?” jake asked. his tone was concerned, a manner that only a worried father would use.

“i have been looking for you guys since you left….” you said nervously.

“you’ve been looking for us since we left?!” tuk cries; you glance over the once small child and notice that she is a preteen now, about 12 or 13 years old.

“oh my eywa tuk you’ve gotten so big!!” you said, tickling the girl in the same place you used to when she was younger. seeing as tuk immediately started giggling and laughing, you knew that even though she had grown up, she was still the same little girl you remembered.

“i know! i am taller than when lo’ak was my age,” she said, slightly teasing her older brother, who wasn’t even present. speaking of which,

“where is lo’ak?” you asked, looking over at kiri, your best friend who you miss so much. you figured you would ask about nete later since you assumed he was out hunting like he always was

but when you notice the room go silent, you refocus your attention on the people around you. the sully family had these looks on their faces, one that you couldn’t quite put your finger on. the air had grown thick with tension, and you started worrying. in the corner of the marui were ronal and tonowari. they both had looks of confusion on their face. they called jake over to have a conversation.

you watched him walk over and tried to listen to their whispered conversation. you gave up when you realized they were talking too low. but before you could completely tune out, you heard a small gasp followed by a heavy sigh.

jake told ronal and tonowari everything. he told them how lo’ak had a promised mate at their old clan and how they tried to talk some sense into him, but they couldn’t help but want to see their boy finally happy after the loss they faced as a family.

you turned back to your best friend,

“kiri… what is wrong? i just asked where lo’ak is?” you were starting to get worried. did something happen to him?

“he is out right now,” was all she said.

“out? kiri, what the fuck? out where?”

“he is out with tsireya!” tuk pitched in.

suddenly your heart started beating fast, and your stomach was dropping. your worst nightmare began to form in your head.

“who is tsireya?” you asked.

“tsireya is my daughter.” said tonowari.

you looked at tuk and asked.

“who is tsireya?” but tuk knew what you were really asking. ‘who is tsireya to lo’ak.’

“she is his mate.” the girl said dejectedly.

you felt your heart fall to the floor and shatter into a million pieces. the second tuk said that m-word, the one word you honestly never thought you would hear, it felt like your world was caving in.

everyone in the room could visibly see your heartbreak at that statement, but as soon as the expression came, it was gone. you masked your pain, not wanting to have a breakdown in front of everyone, but you were damn sure going to get some answers.

“where is he?”

“he is just south of here. at a place, we call three brothers. it is about a 10-minute ride on our ilus, but you have an ikran, so i am not sure how long it will take you.” ronal spoke up, directing you in the direction of the boy who she now knows betrayed you.

“i can make it there in 5,” you said as you stood and walked out of the room.

sure enough, you got there in 5 minutes. you could tell by the three big ass rocks that were coming into view. something in your gut told you that you wouldn't like how this was about to go down.

"above the clouds," you instructed seze. this way, if you noticed lo'ak, he would see you when you wanted him to. it only took like 30 seconds of looking to find him. he was lying on the beach with a metkayina girl, tsireya.

"land." it was a simple command. seze brought you down silently as he settled on the opposite side of the beach.

sneaking up on someone isn't hard when walking in the sand. however, you still ensured you were as quiet as possible when you approached the couple. as you stood over the two, you questioned how you got so close without either of the na'vi noticing you. then you realized they were sleeping, with a blanket and everything.

they were sleeping under the eclipse…

that was something the two of you used to do.

this enraged you. walking back to seze, you grabbed your bow and one singular arrow. by the time you were standing over the couple again, you had taken your hand and drew back, aiming the arrow right in between lo'ak's face and the back of tsireya's head.

your hands shaking and the tears blurring her eyes only made you pull the arrow further back. and finally, you released a breath you didn't know you were holding as you let go of the hand, allowing it to snipe right into the ground in front of lo'aks nose.

it wasn't the noise of the arrow that woke lo'ak up. it was the force of the wind from how fast it had been released. it startled him. with wide eyes, he looked at the arrow and then up from where it came from, making eye contact with you.

lo'ak was in denial, to say the least. not believing his eyes, he slowly stood up, which caused tsireya to stir awake too, but she couldn't sit up much because your arrow trapped one of her braids in the sand.

as lo'ak stood to his full height, you got to consider how much he had grown over the last five years. the last time you saw each other, you were 17, and now you're 22. to you, lo'ak still looks like the boy you knew back then. the only difference you spotted was the height and muscle growth.

"nothing about you has changed. so why is everything so different now?" you asked him. he could hear the hurt in your voice. that's the only reason he could tell that you knew. you knew that tsireya was his mate. you knew he went against eywa's wishes. you knew he lied to you.

"koa, this isn't what it looks like," lo'ak started. you narrowed your eyes at him. "okay, this is kinda what it looks like, but-" suddenly tsireya checked into the conversation, cutting lo'ak, "YOU KNOW THIS CRAZY WOMAN?!"

to say lo'ak's mate was furious was an understatement. tsireya was pissed, she had been disturbed from her nap by some woman she didn't know, had her hair trapped in the sand, and now this woman was claiming to know her mate.

lo'ak, hearing tsireya yelling, immediately tried to calm her down. "baby, remember, no stress, okay? you gotta calm down."

"CALM DOWN?! how can you say calm down, lo'ak?!!” as the couple argued, you took your arrow out of the ground. pulling your arm back, you aim right in between tsireyas eyes, fully intending to release the arrow.

but before you could, lo'ak stepped between the two of you, holding his hands out.

he's trying to diffuse the situation.

"you defend her. why?!" you asked with tears in your eyes. your bow was still in the perfect position to release at any moment. "i defend her because she is my mate, koa." hearing the words come out of his mouth made it so much more real. you didn't want to accept that your promised mate had left you for someone else, but the facts were right in front of you.

lo'ak isn't yours anymore.

"you dare betray the will of eywa?!" you said, only pulling your arrow more. you knew this wasn't really what bothered you, but you weren't ready to crack, still wanting to keep up your strong warrior façade.

"what is she talking about, lo'ak," tsireya asks her mate. you can tell by the face that lo'ak made at tsireya's question that he got caught. this was the only thing that caused you to lower your bow slightly. a sound of disbelief left you. "you betrayed me for someone you can not even trust enough to tell the truth. you betrayed me with someone you do not even harbor any respect for!! lo'ak, what were you thinking?"

"she was there for me."

"how could i have been there for you when you left without telling me where you were going? i guarantee i have been there to comfort you after your father has run through you more times than she has."

"that's not what i meant-"

"then what do you mean, lo'ak? just help me understand what is happening-"

"SHE WAS THERE FOR ME WHEN NETEYAM DIED." you had pushed him so much, he snapped. lo'ak couldn't help but raise his voice at you. you were pushing his buttons, and you knew you were too. but this is not at all what you expected lo'ak to respond with

"wha-" you couldn't even form words while trying to process what lo'ak had just said.

neteyam is dead

"when…"

"four years ago" if your heart could break more, it would have. neteyam was like the older brother you never asked for. he always watched out for you when adventuring, treating you the way he treated kiri and tuk, like his little sister.

never in a million years did you think eywa would take such a mighty warrior from the world at such a young age.

"the sky people took him… we went to go save spider, and then he-" lo'ak got choked up, causing his mate to move so she could comfort him.

as she got up, the blanket fell to the floor, revealing the girl's baby bump.

"she's pregnant…."

"koa-" he tried to explain

"you did not tell her that you had a promised mate waiting for you at home? i was looking for you. i had hope that you loved me enough to wait for me because i told you i would come for you lo'ak. i told you i would, and yet… you got her pregnant…" the words felt like knives coming out of your mouth.

lo'ak started to get defensive. he didn't feel like he did anything wrong. he followed his heart, and his heart led him to tsireya. the girl who was there the nights he had endless nightmares, reliving the worst moment of his life. she was there when his mind started clouding with horrible thoughts. thoughts that haunted him until tsireya was finally able to pull him from the darkness in which he had submerged himself.

"oh, please don't act like you haven't thought about mating with someone else while i've been gone. eywa, i bet no'eng has been all over you since i've left."

that last sentence was like adding fuel to a flame. you were pissed.

"you know what? he was throwing himself at me. he asked me to be his tsahik and all." lo'ak scoffed, rolling his eyes "see, you're no better than i am, you traitor-" you didn't let him finish his sentence as you quickly raise your bow. the pointed edge being held at lo'ak's neck.

"i am no traitor. you will speak when i am done." not that he would ever admit it, but seeing this side of you terrified lo'ak.

what had he done to you…

you were not the same girl he remembered from when he left. but he refused to speak another word, unsure if you would hurt him, given the current circumstances.

"he asked me to be his tsahik. i went through the training, the lessons, the courting. and when the day came for us to mate in front of eywa, i refused. i told him, as i had been telling him and everyone else the entire time he was courting me. my heart belongs to lo'ak sully. i will not mate with anyone unless it is him. i will not be anyone's tsahik unless it is his. i will not bare anyone's children unless it is his. and yet i am stupid. i am stupid because here you are. mated, in love, starting a family with someone else when you said you would only do those things if it were with me."

"YOU HAD A DESTINED MATE, AND YOU DIDN'T TELL ME?!" tsireya was fuming.

"the baby, my love," lo'ak said, trying to find any excuse to get her to calm down.

"i was planning on telling you," he tried but tsireya wasn't having it. "oh yeah, when, you asshole! before or after you got me pregnant?!!" she yelled, throwing a handful of sand at her mate, which he dodged.

"you've lied to me for five years about having a promised mate?" lo'ak looked at tsireya now. when he heard the hurt in her voice, he moved closer to her, cupping her cheeks.

another thing he used to do with you.

"reya, you were there for me. okay? i fell for you, and i promise you, i put it on eywa-"

"it would not be wise to trust someone who has gone against the will of our great mother-" koa advised.

"KOA, SHUT. UP. tsireya, you were there for me when 'teyam died. every second of healing you were there for. you never left my side, and for that, i will love you till the end of pandora." hearing the love of your life not only raise his voice at you for the first time but also confess his undying love for someone else right in front of you was your breaking point. you felt like someone stabbed you in the heart, twisted the knife, and ripped it out.

neteyam is dead…

lo'ak no longer loves you…

what else is the point of being here?

but you are strong and came for a reason, so you're not about to let this woman redirect your conversation with lo'ak.

"after i rejected the tsahik position and refused to mate with no'eng, my parents disowned me. they said i was selfish, that i wasn't thinking about the clan and only about my feelings. so for the next five years i traveled pandora looking for you. because i knew if i was welcomed anywhere in the world, it would be where the sullys are- no. it would be where lo'ak te suli tsyeyk'itan is." tears were pouring out of your eyes, and it was clear as day that they were not going to stop any time soon.

with eclipse approaching, you just wanted to disappear. you didn't care where. it wouldn't matter anyways. not when the one person who you flew around the world for, the one person who you dreamed of mating with, being with, had mated with someone else without a second thought about you.

"but i guess that is not true anymore, is it..?" you finally lowered your bow, throwing it at lo'aks feet. "i would rather remain defenceless for the rest of my days than use a bow gifted to me by a traitor."

walking away, you didn't look back at all. hopping over seze’s back, you instructed him, "fly." within minutes, you were back on the sand of the metkayina beaches.

still crying your heart out, you wandered the village aimlessly. you tried your hardest not to make much noise as you walked around and as you started to get lost in your thoughts, you bumped into someone, causing you to return to reality.

a very tall someone.

"oh! i'm so sorry i wasn't looking where i was going," you said as you quickly tried to wipe your tears away so you could see who you were talking to.

you made eye contact with a very handsome metkayina boy who had tattoos littering his body and a high bun on top of his head. it almost felt like everything went in slow motion as you two made eye contact. but again, you were reeled back to the real world when the boy spoke.

“don't worry about it- wait, you're not a sully," he said, looking more confused than he was a few seconds ago. "who are you, and how did you get here undetected," he said, starting to lower himself into a battle stance, but kiri's laugh rang in your ears before things could get carried away. you turn your head, seeing the girl walking up behind you.

"for someone who is the chief's son, you are very uninformed, ao'nung," the younger girl jokes, flicking the older boy's forehead. "she is a visitor from the omatikayan clan. a family friend of ours," she says, hugging you around your shoulders.

"kiri, i was looking for you guys. i have a question," you said as you nervously played with your hands, tears brimming your eyes for the millionth time today.

you were thinking about how you lost everything, your family, your friends, your home, and you would never get to see neteyam again. you traveled all over pandora and for a boy who mated with someone else the first chance he got.

"is it okay if i stay with you guys for a while? i can't go back home." the hurt in your voice was evident to both na'vi standing with you.

"wait, why can't you go home? did your parents pass?? oh, my condolenc-" you cut kiri off.

"no-no. kiri, you do not understand. i can not go home because i was disowned. by my family, by the clan. everyone hates me." kiri didn't understand. how could the village's sweetheart suddenly be shunned by the whole clan? resting her hands on your shoulders gently, trying to reassure you, kiri asked you softly, "...what happened."

"where is your mother," you asked, ignoring kiri's question. "she is in our marui. come, it is this way. sorry, ao'nung, we have to go, but i can formally introduce you guys later, ya?” the sully's eldest daughter said, walking you away to her family's marui pod. when the two of you arrived, jake and neytiri immediately turned upon hearing sniffles and sobs to see who was entering their home.

when they noticed it was you, they took in your expression and remembered where you just came from putting two and two together. they were immediately offering you comfort. neytiri was the first to move.

"oh, my girl. my sweet, sweet girl." her mother mode activated immediately.

"ma sa'nu... 'teyam..." hearing you say her deceased son's name only made neytiri cry harder. but not for herself, for you. you were losing so much at once, it wasnt fair. you were getting hit by a storm that you didn't even know was coming and even then, no amount of time or experience couldve prepared you for this.

"he is with eywa now... he is safe..." was all she said as she pulled you into a tight hug, making you cry even more because you hadn't felt a mother's love in five years.

having nobody to raise you was hard. growing up on your own, feeding yourself and your ikran, and surviving extreme weather and dangerous predators as a child who wasn't ready for the world was hard. you haven't felt warmth and love in ages, and this... this felt so nice. after how shitty the past few hours have been, this felt like floating on a cloud. a cloud you never wanted to come down from.

and then, when jake joined the hug, you felt the entire world go silent—feeling the two people you considered your parents your whole life embrace brought warmth to your hurting heart.

you felt peace. for the first time in five years, you felt peace! but of course, it had to be ruined by the sound of tuk and a boy's voice arguing with the last person you wanted to see.

"lo'ak stop. go back with tsireya! roxto pull harder!"

"i'm sorry, tuk, i'm trying!"

lo'ak walked into the entrance, roxto and tuk hanging off his arms, trying to pull him in the opposite direction. "koa! how dare you. you come to my clan, you mess with my life, you-"

you scoffed, "so, what? you're following me now?" you asked.

"you come to my home and say i'm following you? how ironic" lo'ak rolled his eyes. you get up from neytiri's hug, walking over to lo'ak so he can hear what you are about to say.

"i only came here looking for you because i thought you loved me, lo'ak. i guess i was wrong," you said, bumping his shoulder as you walked past. though before you got anywhere, he grabbed your arm.

"i'm not done talking to you-"

"FUCK YOU, LO'AK," you screamed.

the room was silent.

"have i not given up everything for you? have i not grieved every loss known to man? HAVE I NOT SUFFERED ENOUGH FOR YOU, LO'AK?" if your tears stopped earlier, they sure are back now.

"i refused to be tsahik and rejected the finest man in the village all because of my love for you, so have i not given up my life? i have been disowned by my dear parents... my poor, poor parents, so have i not given up my family?" your body was so spent. you felt like she had been running on adrenaline for five years. you feel like it's starting to wear off, causing pain in every inch of your body. that's how bad this heartbreak hurt you.

"i have TRAVELLED AROUND PANDORA FOR THE PAST FIVE. FUCKING. YEARS. LOOKING FOR YOUR DUMBASS BECAUSE IN THE BACK OF MY HEAD A PART OF ME KNEW THAT I WOULD NEVER LOVE ANYONE THE WAY I LOVE YOU, LO'AK..." there was dead silence in the marui. nobody spoke, nobody moved, nobody breathed. falling to your knees, you continued to sob on the floor in the sully family marui.

on your knees in front of the man who you thought loved you.

you raised your head to look lo'ak in the eyes as you said, "maybe that is a good thing, though. maybe i should not love anyone the way i loved you. because the way i loved you caused you to not only leave me alone but to abandon the will of eywa completely. if you hate me so much that you go to such lengths to get away from my love, i will leave to where nobody knows where or who i am. i am destined to be alone in this life anyways, right?.." you sobbed. everyone in the room felt their hearts break hearing you crying like that.

"i never thought you would do this to me in a million years. but i guess we all get a reality check one day." you said, standing up and walking out the marui, barely finishing your sentence. you ignored all protests coming from the rest of the sully family as you walked away.

you had been hiding away from the sully family since the day you and lo’a- him argued. it wasn’t because the family had done anything wrong. you just were not ready to talk about your feelings, and knowing jake and neytiri sully, they would find a way to make you speak like they do with all their kids.

over a week passed, and every time you saw someone from the sully family, you turned the other way and hid because then that would mean they would start asking you questions and probing you, and you weren’t emotionally ready for that right now.

it was eclipse, and you were sitting against a rock, looking out into the ocean with a lost look in your eyes. you were silently crying to yourself, wishing, praying that this was all a dream and that your worst nightmare hadnt coming true. yet you already knew it wasn’t a dream, but it didn’t hurt to try, right?

“i thought i would run into you again” it was a familiar voice you had only heard one other time, yet you couldn’t put a finger on who exactly it was. you didn’t have enough energy to turn your body, though.

the sleepless nights combined with the nightmares you got when did you manage to fall asleep created the worst sleep deprivation you’ve ever experienced. you didn’t think you had enough energy for anything anymore.

“hellooo?? pandora to crybaby! is anyone in there??” ao’nung was waving his hand in your face slightly.

“i’m not a crybaby, skxawng. this isn’t normal for me,” you defended yourself as you tried to quickly wipe your tears away, not noticing how close he had gotten when you were drowning in your thoughts.

the handsome boy you knew as ao’nung was someone you would often see wandering around the village. the boy had been looking for you. he was hoping he could catch you alone at some point so the two of you could talk. while he had seen you around a few times, you were always gone before he could even notice approach you. he also never got your name from kiri, so calling out to you wasn’t an option.

“i can tell. you look like a fierce female warrior who falls to nobody and nothing. so tell me, what’s got you stumbling?”

you had to think a little bit to understand the boy’s analogy, but you could only let out a heavy sigh once you understood it.

“that bad, huh?” he asked.

you scoffed, “i think we can consider this a fall, not just a stumble.”

ao’nung just chuckled at your response. “well, if you are going to fall over a boy who could not see the beautiful woman standing before him, fine. but please, at least let me be the handsome man who picks you back up again,” you started blushing a deep shade of blue at his words.

“do not flatter yourself, sir. handsome is being generous. you are mediocre at best.” playfully teasing each other, ao’nung keeps the joke going.

“mediocre?” the boy feigned hurt, completely fooling you in the process. since you don’t know ao’nung well, you thought you hurt his feelings.

“oh, no, i am sorry i thought we were joking around. i did not mean to hurt your feelings. eywa, can i get anything right” with how sensitive you were from the previous events this week, the tears were already starting to run down your face. before ao’nung could move a muscle, though, he noticed a woodsprite floating around your form.

there were two of them. you looked up for a second, only for your expression to fall and your eyes to widen.

“ao’nung... there is a woodsprite on your shoulder...” you whispered

“and there is one on your head,” he whispered back.

the two of you knew exactly what this meant but so suddenly? were you even ready for this? you are literally still going through the worst heartbreak in the world, and now eywa is telling you that this is who you’re destined to be with now? what about lo’ak? what about-

eywa bless this boy and his ability to drag you out of your thoughts because only she knows that you would need someone good at roping you in when you got lost in the sea of your thoughts.

“hey, look, i got filled in when i went home; i’m the chief’s son, tsireya is my sister. after we first metast week, i just wanted you to know that i understand what you’re going through. i also understand if you want to take this slow or if you’re not ready at all. regardless of what you choose, i will still be with you if you want to be with me. it would help if you had somebody on your team after all,” his charming smile sent a sense of security through your body.

at that moment, seeing ao’nung smile made you forget about all the troubles in your small world, and you finally felt what you hoped was happiness. maybe this is a good thing. you know eywa would never do anything bad to you. this, everything that’s wrong right now was the fault of lo’ak, but you refused to let him win.

lo’ak doesn’t get to be happy while you live your life miserable so you take ao’nung’s hand and say, “well, if eywa says it’s meant to be, then you really must be it for me, ao’nung.” the smirk on your face threw ao’nung through a loop because he had only ever seen you crying, but the boy wouldn’t let this deter him. he raised his large hand and wiped away any stray tears you had left.

“you are to be my tsahik.” ao’nung said as he pressed his forehead to yours. “i hope you’re ready for training, princess, because this ain’t the omatikaya clan.” you were shocked because although you refused the tsahik position in your home clan, you had dreamed of being tsahik one day. what made it so much better was that lo’ak promised you that you would be his tsahik.

not anymore.

“i thought lo’ak was next to become olo’eyktan.” you inquired.

“don’t be silly. you think i’m going to let a baby-tailed-”

“hey!”

“sorry, not you! your tail is cute-” ao’nung tried to save himself, but when he heard the giggle from you, he could tell you were joking.

“haha, very funny. you got me,” he said sarcastically, laughing alone with you.

“but, princess, you think i’m going to let some forest boy run my clan? absolutely not. i just needed to find my tsahik before becoming olo’eyktan, and my parents do not believe in arranged marriages. thankfully, eywa has finally brought you here to me, but we have just one problem.” the confidence radiating off of him was so attractive. he just oozed sexy, and you couldn’t help it. you shamelessly stared at your new promised mate, admiring all his muscles, tattoos, and personality.

the boy, who had yet to move his forehead from yours, looked into your eyes. it felt like he was looking into your soul.

like he was looking into your past.

like he was trying to read what kind of person you are.

and since you already decided that you wouldn’t love anyone the way you loved lo’ak, you let him.

you let him observe you, learn you, study your features and mannerisms, something nobody had ever done. something nobody cared enough to do.

“what is this problem you speak of, ma ao’nung.” the words felt foreign coming off your tongue, but you let it happen. you wanted to embrace this new environment, embrace this new home, embrace this new love and life that you were so graciously given by the great mother, eywa.

“i still don’t know your name, ma tsahik.” ao’nung felt the same, the words were foreign, but he had felt drawn to you the moment he laid eyes on you. he wanted you to talk him to sleep when he first heard your voice, he wanted you to be the mother of his kids, and he wanted you to be the best tsahik this clan has ever seen, right after his mom, ofc.

“my name is koa. i have no last name, and i am from nowhere. i have lost everything i love, but i’m hoping, praying to the great mother eywa, that this-” you say as you squeeze his hands in yours. “-is not for nothing. i hope that whatever comes of this new love, i will enjoy every second of it.”

“after everything you’ve been through, you deserve it, ma koa.” ao’nung said as he pulled his promised mate into a warm embrace. you hesitated before hugging back. although you’re good at flirting with your words, when it comes to physical attention, you folded. but can anyone blame you?

you had been touch starved for five years with nothing and nobody but you and your ikran the entire journey. you had not been held, caressed, or kissed in what felt like ages.

“i can’t wait to start a life with you,” he mumbled into the hug, and that sentence alone brought tears to koas eyes again, but for the first time in a while, they were happy tears.

“i can’t wait either,” you said before finally throwing your arms around his neck, causing ao’nung to fall backward into the sand. something they both laughed off and basked in.

today had been a long day, so you fell asleep together in the sand under the night sky.

ao'nung's father allowed him two weeks off of his olo'eyktan duties to get to know his new promised mate, and the boy hasn't ever been happier. for two weeks, he returns to being his teenage self, riding ilus all day, relaxing on the beach, and watching the sunset. he hadn't felt this alive in years, and now he was happiest with the person he loved most. to him, nothing in life could be any link.

you agreed. although it has only been a short two weeks being here, being home, you haven't felt this way in ages. though you get your bouts of sadness whenever you have a run-in with lo'ak, your olo'eyktan has never failed to be there for you in your times of need.

and you couldn't love him more for it.

"ya' know," ao'nung started, "when i first met you, i immediately knew." having to keep his voice under a whisper because the rest of his family was sleeping.

you giggled a bit as you moved closer to your boyfriend. "knew what, skxawng."

"i knew I wanted you to be mine—tsahik or not. from the moment i laid my eyes on you, you were prettier than any of the stars in the sky, the most beautiful woman i have ever seen." he marveled at his woman. he was looking at you as if you were his entire universe.

"didn't you get down into a battle stance the first time we met." you teased.

"i did, but it was only because i was out hunting the whole day, and i had not been made aware that we had a visitor from another clan. i just saw a pretty blue warrior, and i couldn't help myself," he said with a smirk. wrapping his arm around your waist and pulling you against his body as if you weren't close enough. the two of you drifted off to sleep, not a care in the world.

a conversation came up one day when the sullys and the olo'eyktan's family decided to have a joint dinner.

"you know. you two should be living in your own marui." ronal said without hesitating in her actions. jake and tonowari, though, are both currently choking on their food. neytiri gasped, excitedly, "i was thinking the same thing!!"

within the next week, you and ao'nung were kicked out of his parents' marui and given your own home. ronal and neytiri said it was an early mating ritual gift, but jake and tonowari werent happy about it.

tonowari is protective of you like you're his own daughter. jake as well, so when they hear that ronal and neytiri were planning on giving you and ao'nung a marui for just the two of you to stay in, they immediately knew they would have to remain mentally preparing themselves for grandchildren. they were just protective dads, that's all. there's no harm in that.

on nights that ronal or neytiri would find their husband missing, they would know exactly where to find them. camped out in front of ao'nung and your home, ensure no babymaking was happening and it always ended the same. the half-asleep wife would drag her husband by his ear back to their home and scold them for not trusting their 22-year-old daughter.

jake and tonowari would argue that they were trying to protect their little girl from this world's harsh and cruel truths. their wives, however, argue that you're not a little girl anymore, and they want some grandbabies.

“ao! i have a question for you,” you called your boyfriend, soon-to-be mate, over as he walked into your shared marui, finally home from hunting.

at first, the man didn’t answer. he silently walked over to you, draping his body over your back and wrapping his arms around your waist. he reached up to turn your face so he could give you a kiss hello. “what did i tell you about questions before my hello kiss, baby?”

you playfully rolled your eyes at him, setting aside the bracelet you made for tsireya’s newborn girl. you had befriended the metkayina girl one day when she defended you from her own mate. saying how he has put you through so much, the least he could do was leave you alone.

after that, the two of you got to talking and then apologizing. tsireya told you how she never would’ve mated with lo’ak if she knew he was taken, but you assured her that it was a thing of the past and that you were with ao’nung. of course, that led to some girl talk, and you may have let it slip that the two of you were trying for a baby. of course, she was so excited to hear the news, but you swore her to secrecy.

your boyfriend, tired of waiting for a response from you, decided to regain your attention. you had a habit of getting lost in your head, and ao’nung was never one to be upset about it. he actually thought it was cute; your brain working so hard that you forget that you are in the middle of making dinner or beading a necklace for kiri.

“ma koa, i feel like if you don’t drown in the ocean, you’ll drown in your thoughts.” ao’nung said, pinching your side to get your attention. “answer my question, yawntu.”

“kiss first, questions later.” you said, rolling your eyes again as you brought him into a kiss.

“exactly, look at my smart girl,” he said, nuzzling his face into your neck as you giggled at how it felt. the two of you fell back, curling into one another and staying like that for a while. but not long after, you broke the silence again.

“ao,’ there are some people i want to invite to our mating ceremony. i know it is not traditional to ask other clans to attend, but they are the closest thing i have to a family outside you and the sullys. do you think your father would approve?” the hopeful look in your eyes made ao’nung believe that even if his dad disagreed, he would find a way to get your family.

“i will talk to him about it, my love. i wouldn’t want your family to not be present during our mating ceremony. it might take some convincing, but i will try ma koa. now sleep.” he said as he kissed your forehead, closed the flap to their marui, and drifted off into a dream.

ao’nung was on his hands and knees, begging his father and mother to invite the other clans to your mating ritual. they had given him their final answer 10 minutes ago, but the boy refused to take no for an answer.

“sa’nok… sempul… please. they’re all she has besides us. and she can’t only invite one or two. how would everyone else feel?” the things love will make people do.

ao’nung was never one to ask twice, let alone beg. if he asked his parents for something and they said no, then oh well. if he was supposed to have it, eywa would’ve made his parents say yes. but here he was, shocking not only his parents but also himself.

“a mating ritual is a sacred ceremony ao’nung. we can not just invite whatever clans we want to ‘come watch’. it is ridiculous.” ronal said.

“they are not ‘whatever clans’ they are her family.” your mate defended.

suddenly jake sully walked into the olo’eyktans marui. “i’m sorry if i’m interrupting anything but i couldn’t help but overhear that ao’nung was asking to invite the other clans to the mating ceremony.”

“this is a family matter, jake sully. please excuse yourself.” tonowari said, remaining civil.

“well koa is my daughter so i am a part of this family. look, i’m not trying to give you guys input or advice. i just want to give you insight. on earth-”

jake was cut off by a harsh hiss from ronal but continued. “please just let me finish. on earth we have ceremonies and celebrations called weddings. it’s similar to a mating ceremony but since skywalkers don’t have queues they give each other rings and wed themselves to each other. in these ceremonies both the male and female get to invite their sides of the family to watch them officially bond with the person who they love.”

ronal and tonowari take a second to think. they knew about your past by now but not how many clans she had visited. ao’nung had not moved from his place on his knees, showing just how serious he is about having his mates’ family there. it was only a few minutes of private discussion before the olo’eyktan, and his tsahik were ready to speak up.

“how many clans are there.”

ao’nung’s head shot up, a beaming smile on his face. “eight,”

it was the day of your mating ceremony. neytiri and ronal help with finishing touches, fixing your hair, straightening your headpiece, the whole nine yards. the men were over in ao'nung, and your marui helping him get ready.

you were worried sick but also frustrated, and everyone in ronal's marui could see it on your face.

"ma itetsyip, what is the matter?" neytiri said, holding your chin to look at her.

"none of the clans have shown up yet. i am terrified of mating with someone even though i've been dreaming about it since i was a little girl. i have no family to come to watch my ceremony and to make everything worse, i didn't eat breakfast this morning, so now i'm hangry." you could feel the tears brimming in your eyes.

kiri and tsireya just laughing at your dilemma while trying to keep you from messing up your face paint.

"oh dear, look straight down. koa, your tears will mess up your face paint if you keep crying!" tsireya said as she tried to fan her friends' tears while holding her baby.

"you became a real crybaby in the past 6 years, ya know that." it was only a joke, kiri trying to lighten the mood so you would stop crying, and it actually worked.

"i'm sorry, guys, i'm trying." you said, laughing at your friends' teasing through your tears.

"oh, ma koa, honey, we can always push the ceremony back if you are not ready." ronal offered, but you shook your head immediately. "sa'nu, i want to do this. i just wish i had someone to hand me off." you said with a sad look on your face. you knew jake or tonowari would do it in a heartbeat, but something in your heart told you that it shouldn't be them. it should be someone else.

while all the older women were talking and helping you out, tuk took it upon herself to pick some fruit for you. she noticed you skipped breakfast like you always had back when you all lived with the omatikaya clan. the young girl wandered around until she found the exact fruit she was looking for, immediately running to jake so he could cut it up.

coming back into the marui with the bowl of fruit that she made jake cut for her, tuk smiled as she offered it to you.

"oh, thank you, tuk. omg, it's the fruit i like, aww tuk-tuk, you remembered," you said, pulling the preteen into a hug, which she gladly returned. you smiled and quickly tried to finish the fruit before it was time for you to go out for your ceremony.

but then the clan's horns were blown, signaling an arrival or several. suddenly you can hear the screeches of banshees, the shrills of tulkun, and the chants and cries of clans people. that's when you knew your family had arrived.

you peeked out the flap of your marui pod only to see hundreds of na'vi. all from different lineages and places but still bonding and mingling with each other as if everyone here were one big family. your clans had come. all 8 of them. your family was here just for your mating ceremony.

"cry straight down, cry straight down," you reminded yourself. your mother figures couldn't help but giggle at your antics. kiri, tuk, and tsireya took the route to fully laugh at how you were acting.

"it's time," neytiri said, her and ronal looking at their little girl, all grown up, about to be mated before eywa. they couldn't be more proud of you. you surpassed the clan's expectations in the short year you had been there. you had become one of the strongest female warriors the metkayina had ever seen. you had completed your tsahik training and were finally ready to take on the world. and you were prepared to do it with ao'nung by your side.

"wait here!!" kiri and tsireya, who carefully handed her baby to tuk, ran out of the marui. it took them 5 minutes to return, but they weren't alone.

the 8 clan leaders, who took you in and cared for you, were standing before you. "your friends told us that you wanted someone to hand you off." the head of the anuri clan spoke up. it was the first clan you ever visited.

"she brought all 8 of us so you could choose which one of us you would like to walk down with." the leader of the kekunan clan spoke after.

you just smiled to yourself, already knowing who you would choose. still, before you could do anything, you noticed tiny eyes peaking at you behind the tawkami' olo'eyktans leg.

she gasped softly, "anuk?"

the second the boy heard her call his name, he rushed over to her, engulfing her in the tightest hug he could give.

"hi my little warrior, how are you? oh my you've gotten so big." you asked, scooping him up and hugging him to your chest. he hasn't actually gotten that much bigger. it was only about a few inches, but to na'vi, growth is growth.

"i miss you koa..." was all the boy could whisper. "well you are with me now, anu', okay? let's enjoy our time together." you said as you tried to set the boy on the floor, but he only clung to you tighter.

"anuk, baby you have to let go, just for now, only for the mating ceremony. then i'll come find you after okay?" the boy whined and shook his head, hiding his face in your neck.

you sighed, knowing it was hard for him to be away from the only person who helped him heal from losing his sister, so you just held him tighter

"ma koa, we have to get going soon or the village will think you got cold feet." ronal reminded her soon to be daughter in law.

with that being said, the tawkami olo'eyktan spoke up, “i'm so sorry, koa, anuk, you have to let her go. it is her special day-" he reached for his son, but the boy shied away.

"no he's okay, sir." you reassured as you held the boy in your arms.

"my poor boy. okay, come on." you said as you turned to your mothers, sisters, and the clan leaders with your head held high. this was the happiest anyone in the room had ever seen you.

"i'm ready," you said.

you walked towards ao’nung while holding anuk in your arms. ao’nung, kneeling in front of the metkayinian tree of voices, couldn’t help but let his mind wonder about you having his kids and starting a family with him. you guys had been trying for a baby for a while, but it was like luck wasn’t on your side.

seeing his mate-to-be holding a child was attractive, to say the least, but he quickly brought himself out of those thoughts and refocused on the love of his life.

behind you stood eight olo’eyktans—one from each clan you visited along your journey.

the anurai clan

the tawkami clan

the kekunan clan

the hulanta clan

the li’ona clan

the ni’awve clan

the olangi clan

and the rey’tanu clan

the clan leaders always found you out in the world, taking you in and giving you shelter and a home. which is why having them hand you off meant too much to you. they all treated you as if you were their daughter and never failed to make you feel at home no matter which clan you were in. but this, the metkayina clan, is where you want your forever home to be, and in the next few minutes it will be your forever home.

finally, when you got to where ao’nung was standing, you turned to your clan leaders and, untraditionally, hugged them. it only took a few seconds for them to reciprocate it, but eventually, it was one big group hug, and all you could say was a small “thank you.” after releasing from the hug, she still acknowledged them with the “i see you” gesture.

anuk allowed himself to be set on the ground, motioning “i see you” to you. it warmed your heart, so you mirrored his actions. the boy then walks over to his father, and the ceremony begins. you sit on your knees facing ao’nung, and once you settle, every na’vi present kneels along with the both of you as they prepare to watch your ceremony.

all eyes were on you and ao’nung, and for a second, you remembered the 15-year-old who dreamed of this moment. although it isn’t with who you dreamed it would be, you would argue that the way things are now is better than any dream you’ve ever had.

you and ao’nung didn’t break eye contact the entire ceremony. jake gave the speech about two young adults becoming one, and after what felt like the longest speech ever, it finally came time for you to create your tsaheylu. all nine clans went silent so the you both could have your moment.

there was not a sound in the sky or a splash in the water. it was almost as if eywa had silenced all of the nature around you. she wanted you two to focus on each other and not on any of the sounds around you.

the moment couldn’t have been more perfect. you reminded yourself to thank jake for mixing in some earthy wedding aspects to the mating ceremony, but you quickly regained focus, bringing your queue to your front. ao’nung mirrored your action, and you both held up the ends of your braid, watching the tendrils entangle. you released a soft gasp, and suddenly, your senses went through the roof.

you can feel each other’s feelings

you can hear each other’s thoughts

you could feel each other’s heartbeat

listening to your heartbeat was like music to ao’nungs ears, but as he listened a little bit harder, he noticed something. he reminded himself to bring it up to you after the ceremony when you both are alone in your marui pod

you and ao’nung are now mated for life, and you couldn’t recall a happier moment.

once the tsaheylu was created, both parties were given a few seconds to calm down. you opened your eyes, not even realizing that you closed them, and everything seemed to go in slow motion. you felt as if your world had stopped for a second. you and ao’nung were the only two things registering in your brain right now.

ao’nung, who was just as breathless as you, asked, “my mate, can i please kiss you?” bringing his hands to cup your cheeks.

you didn’t even respond. all you did was throw your arms around his neck to bring your mate into a kiss, and ao’nung wrapped his arms around your waist as he returned the kiss.

the clans erupted into cheers and cries of joy for the two of you. it seemed as if nature, the wind, the waters, and even the animals were cheering you on.

eywa was giving you a chance to soak at this moment because your life will never be the same from here on out.

and in your opinion, that’s a good thing

it was only a matter of minutes before you and ao’nung managed to slip away from the ceremony, finally having a moment of privacy

a moment to yourselves.

as you were still bonded with one another, it wasn’t hard for ao’nung to remember what he reminded himself to tell you during the ceremony.

you sensed a slight shift in ao’nungs emotions, but you couldn’t pinpoint the feeling.

“ma koa, there is something i want to tell you.” your mate said.

you were curious, allowing him to continue without interruptions.

“i noticed something during the ceremony,” he began, and the way he spoke was starting to sound like he was having doubts about mating with you. before you could drown, ao’nung sensed the heavy shift in your emotions and immediately began to reassure you.

“koa, it is nothing bad. i am in love with you and i wouldn't want anyone else as my mate okay? that is not, at all, what this is about.”

“then what is this about” was the first thing you had said to him since you two got to this private area.

“i heard something different about your heartbeat.” he said

you were confused. “i do not feel like anything is wrong, i mean my heart is beating fast but that is only because i am with you, my ao’,” you explained to your mate.

“That is not it. princess, there are two heartbeats… it is faint, but i am sure i can hear it.” ao’nung breathed.

you look at your lover to see him tearing up.

“wha… you don’t mean….” it finally clicked for you.

your mate hears two heartbeats in you, so that must mean…

“i’m pregnant.” the words were barely a whisper.

and then you were screaming out in joy, bringing your mate into the tightest hug you could muster as he reciprocated with just as much energy.

“let’s go to my mother to confirm,” your mate said, pulling you up as you both ran back to the village.

rushing through the crowd, you finally found ronal, and you couldn’t contain your excitement.

“I'M PREGNANT!!” you shouted, and it was as if everyone had heard you because everything seemed to pause. the music, the dancing, the singing, the chatting amongst each other. everything stopped.

“is this true?,'' ronal questioned ao’nung, looking down at their connected queues.

“we were hoping you could confirm it mother,”

“come quickly,” ronal took the two of you to her marui pod so she could check if what her son and his mate were saying was true.

it was only five minutes until you three emerged.

“it has been confirmed. koa is pregnant.” ronal announced, and once again, the clans erupted into cheers and celebration, and honestly, it felt as if it was even louder this time around. Everyone rejoiced, if this day could get any better, it just did.

since you weren’t fortunate enough to have a good family growing up, you wanted to ensure that your child had the most loving, caring family imaginable. as you looked around, though, at all the na’vi mingling around the island, all the different clans joined together; you knew your child would undoubtedly have the best family anyone could ask for.

#lo’ak x reader #avatar the way of water #awotw #lo'ak angst #ao'nung x reader #ao'nung #lo'ak #lo'ak sully #avatar 2 #avatar #avatar x reader

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makahimetenshi · 3 months

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How i meet your mother and the story of how Arya Maxson was concieved - Chapter 15

A while after both were hugging each other in bed, at first Arthur was unsure if he was allowed to do it but Nora crawled towards him and dropped her arms around his chest so it just felt correct to place a hand on her shoulder and another on her side.

-Im so sorry I don’t think I can follow anymore –she said breathing in with her eyes closed trying to gain some air

-Its okay im already empty –well that was strange- its just hard but after you shoot all your load you stop feeling

-So you are going to stay stiff until when? –well she can recompose in a pair of hours and ride back but…

-Maybe the morning

-You are not used to take this pills aren’t you?

-Why would i? –he raised an eyebrow- I mean I take them to exercise and keep on shape but…-oh that’s every man excuse right?

-I never see you at the trainyard with a boner -when he noticed that she was joking, he grabbed her by the skin of her arm and pinched her making her laugh.

-So are you planning to stay here until morning? –he opens his eyes wide, that’s right, it was the first time he spend the night in the tower, even that much time -should I dress and give your soldiers a room to rest and take guards of the ventibird?

Oh my gosh with that kiss he display that he came to see her and obviously for a booty session but if he stays in the morning he make the soldiers stay all night and wait for him for that. He blushed and felt so ashamed for his actions.

Not that he regrets or anything tho.

He gasped and look somewhere else –Its not a bad idea but I maybe ill should go

-Not with that between your legs –she laughed and he bite his lips, damn she was right- don’t worry ill bathe and go, i won’t take that long –for some reason she looks more revitalized than before, quirky, better humor than the other days.

Still, he didn’t like her to go, he kissed the sentinel in front of everybody and then disappeared with her for almost 6 hours and then she cames down to the heliport to offer his soldiers a room to spend the night more comfortable without the elder around her…it was obvious what was happening, he didn’t think this straight, he was driven from desire and adrenaline after the car drive from yesterday night. They will mock at her, talkback, of course he wont permit in his presence that the sentinel will be ridiculized for whatever business she had with the elder but he can’t prevent people from being jackass at their backs. Or talk.

-You sure?

God there was still that subject he didn’t tell her yet.

But how does she expect for people of the brotherhood to follow orders if she is not a sentinel? That aint right. Its true he still had to tell her.

The wonderful time they spend now might broke with so little.

-Yeah don’t worry –she said going out the bed and picking her dress and shoes, going to her wardrobe to get some new panties. For some reason he felt the absence of her weight in his arms when she get up.

-By the way where is the infamous heart shaped bed? –she laughed a bit at hearing that, still picking things around the room.

-Saved until I get to paint the roof of the building and the walls of my apartment so no one will see it, that bed will be my nasty secret

-Its going to be a surprise for any plumber that may come to fix a problem in the apartment for sure

-You sure you don’t want to shower with me? I know exactly how to regulate the water at perfect temperature.

He stay in silence for a second, then he realized what she meant and open wide his eyes

-Already?

Her face blushed and smiled a bit panicked for being caught like that.

-Well you are still hard…I mean we can play a little more…we can go slow…

He replied with a smile, to satisfy her? Everything.

-Sure, call me when the water is ready

In just a few minutes Arthurs lungs were fighting to work on his chest, between his accelerated heart, the hot boiling water were she bathed claiming it was the perfect temperature, his arms holding her waist to not fall and the recent fucking session he was exhausted. And she was in no better position, unable to stand up with her legs all shaky and tired, he had to hold her by the waist to not let her fall to the wet cold ground.

Gosh he could still feel the traces of her hot liquid on his leg. The sound of her exhausted breathing maximizes the sensation on his skin even.

-Do you want a blowjob? –she ask turning her head towards him, recovering her breath with a lot of effort. The way her red cheeks and wet hair fall all over her face make her look so temptress right now, makes him want to smash her again even if he didn’t have anything more to give, just because she deserved it for being hot

The man raised an eyebrow, confused, such high sex drive and he was the one in pills, was it something hormonal? She wasn’t thaaaaaat pregnant yet.

-No thanks –he couldn’t cum anymore, at this point it wasn’t for him, she just wanted to play with his body, his warm and flesh.

-Can I wash your head and scalp? –that sounded nice

-Can you stand? –she nodded and raised to place her back against the cold wall of the shower looking into his eyes at every second, in that position her boobs looked very tempting standing out but now he wasn’t turned on anymore…I mean he can if he stares directly for a minute…some seconds…

But his eyes looked at her and her vicious smile, his plan tonight really worked, guess he is paying that car just fine.

She picked up the shampoo bottle with unknown content and spread it on her hands as he relaxed for her to massage his scalp and hair. It feelt nice, the way her fingers moved felt nice, specially behind the ears, it caused him nice shivers and for some reason a ball of tangled strings on his stomach…maybe it was tickles, but he liked it, it was so relaxing, even his knees seems to fail for a few seconds. He close his eyes even if she was in front of him naked, naked and beautiful.

-This is supposed to be romantic but there’s your dong between your legs –he grunted unsatisfied, he was enjoying the silence and sensations, specially when her fingers travel down to his neck to do little touches

-And its going to stay there, better get used –she laughed, and for some reason that beautiful sound went directly to the tangled strings in his stomach, she keep massaging the back of his head just fine

Nora get dressed and armored in the end leaving him naked and clean in bed waiting for her to return, the man took the time to prepare his apologies for sure. She didn’t return until one hour later with a bucket of ice in one hand and in the other whisky and some aquapura, she really takes her pregnancy serious to leave alcohol at all, well of course she does, he age doesn’t leave place for second chances, this was a risky pregnancy no matter how healthy or active she was in a lot of fields, 46 was pretty bad even back then.

-Solved! Im thinking in having a room for brotherhood soldiers only who pass by sometimes, so they don’t use the tenant’s spaces and they don’t feel invaded by the new crazy owner connections…

-There’s something I have to tell you –said the man sitting on bed now realizing he may have dressed in case he has to run for his life out he room, sowry he was too relaxed. She blinked and didn’t understand, wishing that he didn’t break this wonderful moment they were spending together, it was awful regretting the man you just fuck after fucking him, makes you feel like a total idiot and she didn’t consider herself an idiot, hates to feel like that when reality hit her on the face.

-Im sorry I don’t have a fridge yet in the apartment that’s why all the food comes from the café up here…-she tried to change the subject for him to not ruin it, please do not ruin it

-You are still a brotherhood Sentinel –she blinked confused, processing his words, he said it so easy like it was nothing, there, laying on the bed, like just nothing

-What?

-I never dismissed you as sentinel

There it was when she exploded. Its surely felt like when the bombs dropped

-What!? –she screams and Arthur tensed at her tone, fuck

-Technically for the scribes at an administrative level you are still part of the brotherhood

-But I haven’t been doing chores or dutys for a month! –oh gosh he was mad

-Well you are a sentinel, you don’t have an actual obligation

-Why you didn’t dismiss me!? I told you since the first day! –she clarified- when I have the results of our pregnancy!

-I kinda forgot -then a cube of ice fly at the side of his head without him realizing, when did she…

-What the fuck!? –he didn’t realize when she get the hand inside the bucket, damn she was fast and sneaky

-I can fix it tho! –he said moving out of the bed, shit he should really dress before, why did he consider the entire speech but not dressing in case something went wrong? That’s an error of calculations…

-This was important for me! –another ice cube fly at his direction, shitshitshit

-I don’t even know why you want to be out of the brotherhood but –he jumped to avoid another ice cube flying to him, damn what it would be like having a cube scar in the middle of the forehead? Damn Danse was right, a bit at least!

-I don’t want to have any obligation to anyone but my baby! –she screamed, spit coming out from her mouth even.

-Im the father you have obligations with me! And im a brotherhood elder!

-This time nothing will be between me and my baby! –when she say that he understand.

He understands a lot of things.

She wasn’t carrying just his baby, she was also carrying a trauma from her previous marriage. From before the bombs dropped

Damn Danse was right. This wasn’t a good idea at all.

-Im sorry ill fix it –he said looking at her, she was very upset and altered, eyes red and veins marking on her neck- I promise I fix it.

-You better do it! –her hands were shaking and even her legs were tense, he could see her muscles under the skirt of the dress

-Im sorry –she bited on her lip and let herself fall on a divan next to her, covering her face with her hands as the bucket of ice fall to the ground, same with the two bottles, water spilling from the melted cubes into the floor

-ill clean that mess later –she said sighting, still hiding in the dark between her hands

Well at least she didn’t throw the whisky bottle to his head

He saw her tremble and almost cry and he felt shitty, this wasn’t his intention at all, he didn’t want to ruin everything, he imagined it could happen but not alter her so much…

-I guess both of us forgot things –damn and even with all this drama he was still hard, he wasn’t comfortable right now, he break the mood for real, didn’t want her sad at all…

-That’s why you call me Sentinel yesterday –her back moved lower in the divan- I thought it was a reflex

-Do you expect brotherhood soldiers to follow and do your commands without being part of the brotherhood anyway? –then she raised as realizing something for the first time and looked at him leaving the darkness of her hands, her eyes were watery but she had a bitter gaze, not sad entirely, but very dismayed

-You are right –she said and look somewhere else, he was trying to follow her eyes- I haven’t thought in that

Silence, he didn’t expect that from her. How can she not…expect…or plan even that? Does people just follow her and her wishes and that’s it? Its really that easy for her?

-Well…do you want it? –now she look at him crossing her eyebrows confused- do you want to retire from the brotherhood for real?

-Yes! –she repeated tired almost desperate, but clearly had a lot of conflict in her head like wires crossing, Arthur can see in her eyes how she realized she may lost a lot of power by doing that but still...

-Do you want to leave? –he ask again, coming closer

-Yes! –she screamed again, why he was questioning her!? –why do you want me in the brotherhood!? What do you want from me!?

-Nothing! I agree to our pact! I just think is a lot to loose! –maybe he should dress to have a serious conversation –I will arrange it for your retirement! –it’s a shame that she really was dumping all of this, all her years and work for the brotherhood advancement

-Were you expecting something else? Why would you forgot!?

-I don’t know! I just didn’t do it! I suppose its more easy for me to protect you inside the brotherhood! Its all I can offer and give! –she looked surprised at him- I want to protect you! And our baby!

Nora take some air and then look at the ground, trying to recompose, the bucket dripping of cold water didn’t help, it reminded her of her failure to keep it together.

-Im fine here –just here, by her own.

-But I want to protect you and the baby.

Both stay in silence until she spoke.

-Being retired doesn’t mean your can’t stay with us

-Okay

She looked elsewhere and Arthur come closer to get on his knee and take her hand between his fingers, Nora looked at him after some seconds and place her other hand on top of his, pressing

-You don’t have to run to retire me now I guess, you can stay until morning –she said that tired but it caused a little smile on Arthurs face.

-Good because I don't think they take me seriously like this –oh my gosh right he was still hard from the buffout, its kinda funny that they have this entire drama with him naked, she was so overwhelmed by emotions she also…kinda forgot…

Nora smiled a bit too, gripping his hand tighter

-You can walk naked and smack the table with your cock to assert dominance in the room

He laughed, and then went all serious from nothing, then, look at her eyes, pleading.

-Can I kiss you?

Her lungs fill with air, nose even getting inflated in surprise, until she breathed out and pull his hands a bit against her stomach calling for him

-Okay

The elder close his eyes and lean forward, just lightly pressing the tip of his lips on top of hers

#makahimefanfic #elder maxson #arthur maxson #sole survivor #fallout 4

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topperscumslut · 8 months

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so my dog decided to be a little shit and scare the fuck out of me today before work

so i woke up right as my dad was leaving for work this morning and just chilled for a few hours before going to grab lunch and then go to my afternoon shift today right

so like 15 minutes before i leave i let my dogs out since my dad won’t be home for another few hours. both of my dogs (a boy and a girl) are both really old, but when they were a lot younger when i was a little kid the girl (who’s a beagle/terrier mix as opposed to the boy’s full bred beagle) would always get really excited, especially if she saw something like people or a cat, and would jump over the fence and my parents and i would have to frantically run around the neighborhood before finally finding her in a neighbor’s yard, so we usually always put her on a tie out leash when we let her outside to go potty. there are sometimes where my dad will let her out without out if he knows he can stand there and watch her the whole time since we know she likes to be able to run around like our other dog does and gets sad when he can run around and she can’t, but we usually leave them out for a while so they have enough time to do their business and get their energy out so my dad usually doesn’t watch her the whole time and just puts her on her tie out.

however, if im only taking my eyes off of them for a short amount of time i often just let her go free (well, within the confines of the fence, that is), especially if im in a rush before work and don’t have the extra time to put her on the leash and get her off, especially if she ends up getting her leash tangled up like the dumbass she is (i love her tho). i still try to be careful with it *just in case* and don’t leave her alone in the yard unchained for more than a few minutes at a time, but she’s gotten really old and can’t move as well as she used to (although still pretty good for her age) and hasn’t tried to jump the fence in YEARS, and even if she did i would probably hear her barking as a warning, cuz she only did it if something outside of the fence caught her attention

anyway i put the dogs out and run back upstairs to grab the rest of my stuff to leave for work, put my shoes on, and go to check on them literally five fucking minutes later. i look for them and the other one is already ready to come in so i let him in, but i can’t see this dumb little fucking bitch fucking anywhere. so then i started second guessing myself and go oh shit, did i even put her out in the first place, or did i trick myself into thinking i already had cuz i was planning to? cuz the boy dog usually runs straight to me when i try to put him out but the girl is much more reluctant to go both in and out, so im like maybe she wouldn’t come out yet so i went to grab my shit for work and was just going to put her out after right. so now im frantically calling for her both inside and outside and she’s still not fucking coming.

usually i wouldn’t think much of it cuz a lot of times i can call and call for her while she’s outside and her bitch ass will stare me dead in the eye and refuse to come in while her brother runs right up to me, but i could not see this motherfucker at all. so i barely step outside, still nothing, and then come back inside and search every fucking room of the house for her, NOTHING. so at this point i start to panic and go back outside all the way into the yard.

so im freaking out and by the time i get to nearly the back of the yard this fear gets much much worse as im continuing to call her for and she’s still not coming to me. that is, until i get to the very back, to the shed where there’s a little platform in front of the shed door that’s view is entirely covered by bushes, a platform that in 12 years I’ve almost never seen her lay on since she loves laying in the grass so much, and lo and behold there is fucking Daisy, smiling motherfuckerly at me like the sadistic little fuck that she is.

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sttoru · 9 months

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💭&😠 with gojo :)

ANONNN ^_^!! thank u for asking angel mwahmwah gnna be rambling for a bit bye i answered these like i was on facetime w u telling me all abt my selfship lore w gojo. if u dont wanna read my stupid ramblings, scroll 🙏🏽🙏🏽

💭: where did you two meet?

OKUAOKAY its a loooong story which includes trauma and stuff on my part but i wont tell u , im gonna TRY and keep it short ! basically, satoru met me when he was on a solo mission >_< the school sent him out to an abandoned place where i was left @, fighting curses . now how did i end up there ? no cursed energy & nothin’ & still fightin’ these imaginary things (why dis lowkey reminding me of toji’s backstory) ? basically due to family . LAWLLL wont go into details since its a lot of explaining and lore but i got dumped there w the only weapon being a stick bcs those mfs loathed my ass bye ANYWAYS satoru found me , all messed up , and got me outta there & took me straight to shoko to get fixed up bcs i looked v BAD (as in wounds & stuff) && HE WAS SOWW WORRIED THE WHOLE TIMEEEE, muttering stuff like ‘please be all right,’ WHILE PACING AROUND THE ROOM BACK N FORTH 😋😋 anyways thas how we met and also how i got taken in by the school since i had no one lookin after me blahblahblah (insert more selfship lore) and satoru was kinda like my guardian during that time !! :3 he helped me find my way through the school, took me out to the city to explore, stuck up 4 me when i needed it, dragged me everywhere w him, let me train w him—yk just being super caring & also trying to light up my mood every time . especially when he sensed i wasnt feeling well. thas how he got me to warm up to him (rare occurrence) lol but the last thing is completely me irl … my rbf is so bad smh , ppl r always tellin me that i look mad or think m giving them looks 🙅🏽‍♀️🙅🏽‍♀️ also ion like talking to ppl much & prefer to stay in my own bubble but if i had someone like satoru (literally the complete opposite of me) id def wouldn’t mind becoming a extrovert heheeee anyhow yes eventually ended up friends to lovers :D !! sorry this turned so long bye mind u this is the shortest i could keep my rambling at oooops

😠: what's the worst fight you've had? (if applicable)

UHHHMM well . LMAO i feel like im the one that starts almost all arguments w him t_t but most arguments get solved p easily since we r both adults and act like adults & talk things out like adults ! satoru’s always patient & never yells & asks me for my part of the story before he continues so we both understand each others feelings . but theres this one time i was fed up and stressed out, to the point i wasn’t trying to listen to anything he had to say. i was staying over at his apartment, he was being clingy whilst i told him that i wasn’t in the mood at the moment (was working on a project i desperately needed to get done for the night) . satoru gives me my space, but then comes back around every half an hour or 15 minutes, asking me to take a break since i was like overworking myself and taking no tjme to rest. but yk when you’re determined to do smth, theres no stopping u (like when u r in that hyper focused state). so at one point i literally snapped and raised my voice, asking him to f off and leave me be, called him annoying (😞😞) and outed all my frustrations in a fit of rage . i felt so BADDDDD right afterwards but couldn’t bring myself to apologise since i also partially felt like i needed to be left alone at the moment.

satoru was stunned and just.. nodded and said smth among the lines of ‘okay, all right. i understand. i’m sorry for bothering you, baby. however, please take a break.’ like that man didn’t even argue back, just stayed calm & collected before leaving me be without refuting anything bad i said abt him. okay so i finished my project peacefully that night (abt 5 am when i finished) . i went to his bedroom, ready to sleep, only to not find him there. THIS MAN WAS SLEEPING ON THE COUCH . IN HIS OWN HOUSE HELLO i didnt even tell him to, but okay, 😖 i went back to the living room to apologise and tell him to sleep on the comfy bed instead of on the couch with a measly blanket he found somewhere (which didnt even cover his entire 6’4 body)., he didn’t answer me so i turned him over to look at me and ……. this man. had cried himself to SLEEEEEP 🚶🏽‍♀️ he was already sleepin & the skin surrounding his eyes was red , cheeks stained w tears i was so mad @ myself actually. DAAASHDJSN he didnt show his hurt to me bcs he knew it would only distract me more from the work i had to, therefore he let me be & dealt with his own feelings alone. YALLLL this makes me sob every time

anyways i woke him up eventually and this man wasn’t even fully awake before he pulled me down on the couch with him and hugged me tightly to his chest like he was afraid i was boutta disappear 🙍🏽‍♀️🙍🏽‍♀️ he was talkin’ abt sum ‘sorry, ‘m sorry for disrupting you earlier. are you mad at me?’ BRAHHHHH. felt so bad i didn’t sleep the entire day, apologised to him & comforted him & just held him in my arms while he slept . NEVA AGAINNNN NEVAAAAAA

selfship ask game

#༄ : selfships.#༄ : anonymous.#SORRY this is jus me answering this ask like im face to face w u talking abt my selfship lore #😞😞 i will shut up now

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holylacydoll · 3 years

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hhhgbg what is wrong with me why do i do this to myself

#i just . dont sleep at night anymore #like i cant #but then i also choose not to take my sleeping pills #and now i took my adderall and drank coffee so im shaking #but this is just a regular occjrance i suppose #it feels better than sleeping for 15 hours straight #so id rather stay up for days in a row than sleep and sleep and sleep forever #and i cant just lie down in bed to rest bc then im alone with my thoughts and they never let me sleep #so i just play video games and watch anime or youtube all night or draw or idk anything to distract myself that i can hyperfixate on #but this is. very unhealthy.#alex begs me to sleep at night while he goes to work (time zones) & whenever i do i sleep for so long that by the time i wake up he's sleep #so id rather stay up all night and not miss him. when hes off. and he always notices how tirwd i look but i dont wanna sleep #the most peaceful I've sleep in a while is when i fell asleep at after being up all night but we were on a video call and we slept together #but really he just watched me rest for a while because i was the most tired and. it sounds weird to say he watched me sleep but it was so.#just. loving and trusting and ahh. i didnt even need pills to rest. and he told me i look like such a peaceful angel when i sleep.#and that he said he loved me while and i smiled in my sleep #ive just never been this intimate before. like not sexually. he just loves me so much and takes such good care of me. like #he puts me to bed. kind of like a child. which is a bit frustrating for me bc i can go for days at a time without needing rest but he cares #& it sometimes annoys me but i usually listen because it makes him happy when i get enough rest bc he's right that staying up so long is bad #i like it more than i rlly tell him. like. im used to just going until i crash or taking sleeping pills but he makes me so calm and when im #with him i just try to think of him instead of my intrusive thoughts about trauma or whatever #it doesnt always work of course but when it does its always so nice. i cant wait to marry and actually be able to sleep with him #i think he'll make sure i get more sleep. which is weird to say like im making him parent me but really he does it on his own #and its good for me to have someone just there for me like that. who cares about my health even if im very apathetic when it comes to my own #but i just want to stop taking pills forever i hate them all. they make me not me. but being me isnt good either so idk which is worse.

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idy-ll-ique · 3 years

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Paparazzi.

Pairing: Sebastian Stan x F!Reader

Genre: Fluff, Angst

Warnings: TOO META, m*sturbation, mentions of s*x

Requested: nope

Summary: I'm your biggest fan, I'll follow you until you love me... Y/N Y/L/N writes Marvel fanfictions. One day, Sebastian stumbles upon her account and, unable to help himself, reads all the stuff she has written about him. He didn't mean to fall so hard for her but he does. How can he not? She has shown him parts of himself that he never even knew existed.

Author's Note: Hiya peeps! Okay so a few weeks ago I read a similar (but dark) fanfic and I really wanted to write a softer version of it... Enjoy!

---

Same old, boring routine.

Y/N hit post and slumped against the headrest of her bed, sighing. She waited; a minute, then two passed and she noticed that someone had liked her post. She smiled to herself as she kept her phone away. Though boring, she wouldn't trade her life for the world. Y/N… well, she was a university student first and foremost but she was also a writer.

Being a big fan of the Marvel Cinematic Universe, she had started writing fanfictions a few years ago. She posted them on Tumblr, where her blog, though not very well-known, stood out enough for her posts to get around 800-1000 likes per post. She loved it; she loved writing, she loved posting her stories and especially, she loved the feedback.

Sometimes people were rude, but most times, the reviews she got were fantastic. She read each and every one of them, smiling goofily as people freaked out over her fanfictions. It warmed her heart. A smile automatically blooming on her face, Y/N lay down on the bed and decided to go to sleep, it being almost 3 am.

Unbeknownst to her, someone else was up at the same time, tossing and turning in his bed, restless.

Sebastian sighed as he sat up, running a hand through his hair. He drank some water and lay down again, closing his eyes but it was like sleep was mad at him. Refused to be anywhere near him. He groaned to himself and picked up his phone from the nightstand, deciding to go through Instagram, hoping he'd finally fall asleep to the glare of the screen.

As he logged into his account, he skipped the activity page and went straight to the explore page. Bored, he continued scrolling until his eyes landed on a specific photo. And the breath escaped his lungs when he clicked on it; the woman in the picture was absolutely gorgeous. He just couldn't resist going to her page, smiling widely when he read her bio.

It gave him her basic information; her name, her age, the university she attended. But what caught his eye was the link below the bio. My Marvel Fanfictions Master List. Marvel fanfictions? She was a writer? Smirking, he clicked on the link and it took him to Tumblr. Of course, he'd heard of the site, but didn't have an account on there. At 3 am, his mind sure wasn't working right.

A post popped up on the screen, the same master list she had mentioned earlier. And his eyes bulged out of their sockets; damn, those are a lot of fanfictions. He went through the whole thing, smirking again when he noticed that she had written the most fanfictions about him. Not Bucky Barnes, no, Sebastian Stan.

He clicked on the first one. The date of posting was way back, in 2019. He started reading; nothing about it felt weird to him; he was intrigued, if anything. And as he continued reading, he couldn't help but imagine her being in the stead of the female protagonist. Her, the writer. The woman whose picture had made him end up reading in the first place.

When he finished the story, his heart thudded wildly in his chest. Wow, she really has a way with words. And he had also noticed how in the author's note, she used a lot of slang but reading the story had made him realize that she had an amazing, extensive vocabulary. He went back to the master list and clicked on the latest post under his name.

Posted: 15 minutes ago.

His breath hitched in his throat when he read the warnings: there was going to be sexual intercourse in this one. For one moment, he hesitated; did he really want to read this? "Oh fuck it," he huffed and scrolled, starting to read. The more he read, the more his shaft twitched in his pants. He wasn't really like that during… but oh damn, he wasn't complaining.

"Oh, Seb…"

His hand slid down and he rubbed himself through his boxers, unable to take his eyes off the text in front of him. His strokes got harder and faster as the sex got steamier. "Ungh, I'm gonna cum—" And he suddenly came in his boxers, groaning. Slumping down on the bed, he quickly finished reading the rest of it, going back to the master list.

He took a screenshot with the account's name in it and then went back to her Instagram account to take another screenshot. Keeping his phone away, he slipped out of his boxers, cleaned himself and pulled the covers on top of him, finally feeling tired enough to fall asleep.

---

Y/N was walking across the campus of her university, going to the cafeteria when her phone buzzed in her pocket. Taking it out, she opened Tumblr to read the message someone had sent her just then.

his-username: Hi there! I was binging your account last night, you write really well

your-username: Omg thank you!!!! I really appreciate it, I love getting feedback! 🥺❤

his-username: You're welcome! Especially your latest post, that was really good ;)

your-username: hehe 😈 glad you liked it!

Smiling widely, she kept her phone away and continued walking, not knowing that the person who had texted her was the same man she had written about. Sebastian smiled to himself when he read her text. After getting up in the morning, the first thing he had done was install Tumblr on his phone. Then he made an account for himself.

Figuring out the app was easy; he found out that there was an option to keep your liked posts and the accounts you followed hidden, and selected it immediately. No one needed to know what he did on the app. Then he went back to her account, pressed the follow button and started binge-reading her fanfictions again. Last night had he read only two, and that had left him wanting more.

Funny how much things can change in a night. He liked and reblogged all her posts without a second thought; he even read all her Bucky Barnes posts. She understood his character so well, put him on what he thought was an undeserved pedestal while writing about him. Some of the stories were AUs, which he found out stood for Alternate Universes. Mostly mobster or mafia stuff.

He had the day off, and he spent the entire time cooped up in his apartment, on his bed, reading. The more he read, the more he started fawning over her, over the version of him that she put out to the world. Dominating, suave and just perfect. He loved it. At the end of the day, he decided to text her again, hoping she wouldn't think he was weird or find out the truth.

his-username: do you wanna be friends, maybe? I'm new to the app, don't really have any friends here ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

That was a lie, he knew Mark Ruffalo had an active Tumblr account. But it's not like he could tell him.

your-username: Yes sure!!!! I was also thinking of making some friends on this app lol

his-username: You don't have any on here? But you've been here for years, haven't you?

your-username: haha yeah, but I don't really reach out to people much. Sometimes people leave their feedbacks on my posts, text me but that's that

his-username: Ohhh

his-username: well, let's start with names. Mine's Sebastian

your-username: Really?????? omg that's so cool lmaooooooo (didn't think you were a boy but 😳👀)

his-username: Not a boy, I'm a man 😤😂

your-username: 🤣 im y/n, btw

his-username: Y/N, that's a nice name

your-username: thank you!!!! So, what do you do?

his-username: nothing really that interesting, I'm in theatre

your-username: theatre is nice! I'm studying at [university] in New York lmao

his-username: Wait you're in New York? So am I!

your-username: ASDFHKSHKGF that's awesome!!! also I noticed that you've been going through my account the whole day 😏 notifications upon notifications keeping my phone busy

his-username: Oopsie?

your-username: 😂😂 I really don't mind, it was great! Despite the amount of likes on my posts, I only have a few loyal followers lmao gaining one more felt nice

your-username: You a big fan of Sebastian Stan? Cuz I noticed that you were only reading his and Bucky's fics 👀

Sebastian's face heated up.

his-username: kinda yeah 🤷🏻‍♂️😁

your-username: Cool cool cool, I'm a big fan of his too!!!! also got a crush on him but whatever 😳

Sebastian smirked at his phone. A crush on him, huh? That… was acceptable. He suddenly felt his cocky side coming out; the one she described in nearly all her fanfictions.

his-username: wouldn't blame ya, I mean, look at him. You have also written the most fics about him and Bucky

your-username: right????? damn that man has raised my standards. Anyway, I gtg now, I have to finish a paper before midnight. ttyl!

his-username: Bye! 👋🏻

He kept his phone away and took in a deep breath. This was the most fun he had had in years, and he was not letting her go so easy. He realized he was quickly falling for her; rather unhealthy, but he couldn't help it. Look at her. She looks like a goddamn angel, writes like one, makes him feel like one, do you really expect him not to fall for her? That's insane.

---

Months passed by like a breeze. Y/N and Sebastian had become very good friends, and he knew his way around words just enough to keep her from finding out his identity while not lying to her. Y/N also appreciated his friendship, because he was the one to whom she could rant about her most favorite man in the world— Sebastian Stan.

Sometimes, she thought about how weird of a coincidence it was that her new friend and the actor shared the same names, but then she used to brush it off; that was a common name, right? They talked for hours on end; Sebastian (her friend, not the actor) was extremely witty, smart and fun to talk to, she had to admit. Sebastian felt the same way.

His feelings had worsened. Y/N entirely owned his heart now. Somedays, he'd just go on Instagram, go to her account— her username memorized by him— and stare at her photos until he grew tired; he'd never get tired of looking at her beautiful face but his stiff body afterwards begged to differ. She was just so Elysian. He longed for the moment when he could meet her in real life.

His personality had also changed majorly, and people had caught on. Especially his Marvel co-stars, who knew him to be introverted, shy and, in Anthony Mackie's words, "boring". They were surprised at his sudden change in attitude; he knew his worth and Y/N had helped tremendously in finding it. Now, all those adjectives that she used in her fanfictions fit him perfectly.

Sebastian was never tempted to read fanfictions about himself from authors other than Y/N. No, he only loved her work. He was sure no one else could write as beautifully as she did, he was her #1 fan. Y/N even sent him funny Marvel memes she found on the app and he used to enjoy them heartily; God, the others have no idea what they're missing out on. Our fans are awesome.

Everything was going well.

Until one day.

Sebastian was getting bored at home, so he decided to go to the nearby library to clear his mind. He had read not one book in the past few months, hung up on Y/N's fanfictions. At this point, he was obsessed with her and he knew it. It was nothing dark, per se, it was— it was similar to how Y/N was attracted to Sebastian. How she was a fan of his work.

Just the same. He was a fan of her work in the same way. Just how she was attracted to him, he was attracted to her. Walking into the library that he visited often, he gave the librarian a smile and ventured further into the dark place. He checked his watch; the library closed at 12 am, it was currently 9:30 pm.

Not many people were around, heck, nobody was around. He thought himself to be all alone until he heard it. A sigh, coming from a few aisles away. He walked in that direction and peeked around the corner, freezing when he saw the other person. Y/N? Her books were strewn all across the table as she sat alone at the booth, rubbing her temples.

"You okay?"

She looked up and her breath caught in her throat. I'm dreaming. This is not real. Now I know for a fact that Sebastian Stan is not standing in front of me, asking me if I'm— "Hello?" He snapped his fingers in front of her face, pulling her out of her thoughts. "I, uh— I'm— h-hi," she stammered and he almost chuckled. "Hi." She gulped visibly and blinked at the table, not meeting his eyes.

"Can I have a seat?" He wants to sit with me?! "Y-Yes, sure, sir," she blurted out and he easily slid into the booth next to her. "Hey, please, call me Sebastian. What's your name?" He gave her a friendly smile, even though all he wanted to do was push her back into the booth and kiss her wildly. His shaft twitched just by thinking about it; Y/N was a thousand times more beautiful in person.

"I'm Y/N, it's very nice to meet you, I'm… I'm a fan," she admitted, playing with the ring she wore on her left thumb. I'm your fan too, sweetheart, the biggest one. "Y/N, nice name. You come here often? I haven't really seen you around." She shook her head. "Oh no no, I moved to this part of the city just a week ago, this is my first time here. The library is cozy," she shrugged, easing out of her tense position.

Sebastian nodded. "Yes, I know, this place is awesome. Got all my favorite books here," he chuckled and she smiled at him. "What's all this?" A groan left her lips. "Ugh, stupid university work. I have to write a book report but I don't even know what to write about." He smiled gently. "Well, I have a few favorite books, would you like some suggestions?"

"Oh, please! Tell me!"

He started listing some of his favorite works and Y/N noted the names down until he said the last name. At that, she froze. That's the name of my latest— She looked up but he had a smile on his face. "Oh, and the last one is by my favorite author." He took a pause. "Y/N Y/L/N." She froze completely, staring at the man with her jaw dropped.

Sebastian grinned. "We finally meet, Y/N, I've been waiting for months." Her mouth opened and closed several times as she recalled every interaction she had had with her online best friend— scratch that— her celebrity crush. All the times she had confessed her love for Sebastian Stan, all the dirty and inappropriate memes that she'd sent him…

Embarrassment flooded her entire body as she exhaled shakily. "It was you," she croaked out, "On Tumblr, the account— I'm so sorry—" Sebastian frowned in confusion when she blinked back sudden tears, a few still rolling down her cheeks as shame replaced embarrassment. "Y/N, please don't cry…" She looked up at him, his figure blurry due to her tears.

"You've read everything, haven't you? I just— I'm sorry, I don't want to make you uncomfortable—" He pulled her into his arms, hugging her tightly. Y/N couldn't hug back, though she appreciated the hug especially since it came from him. "You don't know how much you mean to me, doll," he mumbled into her shoulder, using the nickname she often used in the stories she wrote about him. He grew accustomed to it easily.

"Huh?"

He pulled away to wipe her tears. "It was an accident," he admitted, "But I stumbled onto your Instagram account from my explore page. Then I clicked on your account, saw that you wrote Marvel fanfictions and I just couldn't resist the urge to read what you had written. Blame it on 3 am me, to be honest. You're a great writer, and I was immediately drawn to your works. They're awesome.

"They've helped me so much in the past few months. You see this changed attitude that everyone's been talking about lately? All because of you, sweetheart. I'm sorry for keeping my identity secret, but after reading your works, I knew I had to get closer to you. I made the Tumblr account just for you, just so I could talk to you. I'm sorry for lying, but thank you."

Y/N dumbfoundedly stared at him for a few moments, her heart beat getting steady with each thump. Here was a man she admired, loved more than anyone else in the world, telling her that he harbored the same feelings for her. How crazy was that?! Not trusting her words, she simply pulled him into another hug. Sebastian wrapped his arms tight around her, pulling her flush against him.

"Can I kiss you, doll?"

She slowly pulled away from him and nodded, shyly biting her lip. Grinning at the endearing gesture, Sebastian cupped her face and leaned in, gently pressing his lips to hers. The kiss grew hungry in a matter of seconds, and Y/N responded just as eagerly. His hands slid down to her waist and tugged on it, pulling her on his lap. She straddled his thighs as they continued kissing.

"Fuck," he groaned when they finally pulled away from each other, out of breath and panting. "You see what you do to me, doll?" Sebastian spoke huskily as he took her hand, placing it right on top of the tent that was forming in his pants. "Oh," Y/N whimpered when she felt him, the sound going straight to his shaft. "How about I take you home and we recreate some of the scenes from your stories, hm?"

"O-Okay."

"Good girl."

---

A/N: What a meta experience 🤡 Leave a like if you enjoyed, thanks for reading!

#sebastian stan x reader #sebastian stan x you #sebastian stan x y/n #sebastian stan x female reader #sebastian stan characters #bucky barnes x reader #winter soldier #disney #mcu #marvel #avengers #fanfic #writing #writeblr

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barzzal · 3 years

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between halls and thin walls → part four

summary: friends who fool around almost never works. almost.

↳ pairing: mathew barzal x you

↳ warnings: idiots, that’s all <3

↳ genre: fluff, angst, smut, roommates au, best friend’s best friend, friends with benefits, 18+

↳ length: series; part one, part two, part three, part four (6.7k), part five, part six

↳ masterlist: the barn

↳ track: my favorite part by mac miller, addicted by jorja smith, someone to spend time with by los retros

note: finally got myself to update this fic oml zzz quick psa tho, this will now be a six-part series! hope that’s okay and yenno as always, would love to hear what you think about this (validate me in the tags pls im lonely) happy reading babes! <3

“Yo, grandma. Haven’t you had too much tea to drink?” his voice echoes in the room as soon as he walks into it. You carefully set the cup down on the dining table and looked at him exasperatedly.

“Haven’t you had too much care to give?” you snark back, earning yourself a disappointed look from him.

“Really, y/n? That’s the best you’ve got?” he shakes his head at your appalling retort. What a shame.

You were good at pissing him off to be fair. You just weren’t in the mood to throw teases back and forth especially now that you’re feeling particularly vulnerable.

The week has been far too dreadful for you and you know that you’re willing to grovel your way into the weekend to finally have the time to slack off, not worry about taking a bath, and just go crazy with a pint of Ben & Jerry’s.

However, just like always, Mathew seems to never run out of ways to get on your nerves.

He carelessly puts his stuff on the table, causing a fairly loud thud on the surface.

You let out a deep breath, massaging your temple.

“Somebody’s cranky.” he grins. Not necessarily the kind you’d want to see from him.

You try to ignore him for a few minutes but you can’t help noticing how his build easily took over much of the space you’ve already been occupying. You irkingly look up at him, closing the book you were reading. You meet Mat’s eyes who just innocently looked back into yours. Waiting. Possibly plotting on yet another sophisticated way to toy with you.

“You’re a child.” you roll your eyes and return to your reading. He says nothing and instead rests his chin atop his enclasped hands, continuing to bother you with his ridiculously beguiling eyes. He presses his lips together before sighing dramatically.

“What?” you snap, finally shutting your book down as you look at him.

“I wanna go out.” he looks up at you in an effort to make his huge physique smaller than it really was.

“Then go out. You’re a big boy.” you breathe.

“You just said that I’m a child.” he coos, mimicking a five-year-old’s voice.

“Stop that.” you glare at him. Mat props himself back and laughs, “Come on. I’m bored.”

You open your book again just as you reply in a tone that Mat’s getting used to hearing. “Boredom doesn’t give you the right to pester me, Barzal.”

And as an exchange, he speaks in the same tone rather mockingly, “And so is that attitude, Y/L/N.”

“Come on, y/n. Let’s go out.” he now pleads, looking up at you with what seems to be his worst impression of a ‘puppy eye’.

“Fine.” you finally concede and you see Mat’s beaming smile instantly.

“Where’d you want to go?” you ask as you take your reading glasses off.

“Dunno.” He shrugs, obviously teasing.

On the edge of being irritated, you say, “Are you kidding me?”

“Grandma.” he mumbles before saying, “Do you have anything you want to do? And please don’t say book hunt.”

You suppress a smile and maintain your composure. “I’m craving for pancakes right now but I also wanna drink. Go to a bar or something.”

He nods in agreement. Already stitching his game plan.

“We can do both.” he bobs his all too fine brows.

He didn’t have a hard time getting you on board with his spontaneity. You actually haven’t gone out in a while and the thought of a possible night out doesn’t seem to be so bad of an idea.

You’ve been with Mat to parties and while the two of you don’t mingle as much as the other guys did, he does know his way around the club. The dance floor, however, he tries. He really does.

For about an hour Mathew waited patiently in the living room as he scrolled endlessly on instagram liking a few photos and laughing at posts the fans tag him occasionally. His eyes were peeled away from the screen when he heard the door to your room click. His irises trail onto your body even if he didn’t plan to originally.

Mathew, albeit dressed simply in his black turtleneck sweater and a beige overcoat exudes just about the right ‘swag’ (as per how he puts it) to stop you in your stupor. Although what you didn’t know was how you weren’t any different in his eyes. You were dressed quite nicely in a black lace bodysuit with a pair of blackpants accentuated by the black boots you usually wear on a night out. Your coat was slung on your forearm whilst you held your clutch purse in your hand so you could close the door with the other.

“What?” you blink just as you look down to eye yourself. Feeling a tad self-conscious under his gaze.

Mat immediately breaks it off. He clears his throat, pretending to wipe off the non-existent dust on the accent table.

“What?” he mirrors with an arched brow.

You shrug off his demeanor, snatching your keys from the accent table before putting it in your purse.

“Have you called a lyft already?” he nods, absentmindedly scratching his temple.

“You ready? You look— decent.” He says, trying to act casual and distant when he gives you the compliment.

Not noticing the unfamiliar look his eyes had, you return the compliment and say, “And so do you. Good job for not looking like you came straight out of an H&M catalogue.” you wink at him with a grin. A thing which was then reciprocated by a deadpan look on his end.

Before he could even come up with yet another clever way to come at you, you start walking towards the door, looking at him once as you motion the way by curling your finger.

“Haul ass, buddy.”

𖥸

10:15 PM

Mat decided to bring you to the usual place he goes to when he wants to be alone and just enjoy a couple of beers while he chats with River, the bartender he eventually befriends after years spent drinking in solitude.

The bar had a rustic feel filled with wine barrels in the corner of the room. The seats were leather (mind you, it wasn’t the kind that gets easily worn out through time) and everything looked new to you regardless of all the vintage stuff displayed articulately on the brick wall. A turntable was set on the table stacked with vinyl records, most of which were from the 70s to 80s underneath.

It was obvious that it wasn’t the kind people would know about. Aside from it being located at such a secluded street leading to the suburbs, it wasn’t the type of bar kids would want to hang out in. It only had a few customers and most of them wore suits and came with company. No one really gave a hoot when you walked in with Mathew, aka, the face of the New York Islanders. Which is basically the reason why Mat kept coming back to the place. He felt comfortable and at peace. Almost in retrospect to being at home hanging with his father.

“I can’t believe this place exists.” you say, mouthing your thanks to River as he hands you both of your drinks. The man that’s definitely aged like fine wine smiles, nodding his head over to Mat who was doing the same before he headed back to mix another set of drinks.

“Me neither.” he grins, reminiscing about the time he’s found the small pub by accident.

“This place looks expensive though.” you whisper, making Mathew laugh.

“Well, it kinda is.” he sheepishly chuckles. “River’s filthy rich.”

“Is he really?” your mouth falls and you look back over the build of the old man. The way his salt and pepper hair was neatly slicked back makes quite a compelling case for what Mat had just said.

Mat eventually explains who he was. Apparently, he was just another bored fancy man who happened to love making people drop dead and drunk with his over the top mixes. His dark deep set brown eyes are quite of a crowd favourite too. Case in point, the group of ladies seated from across you and Mathew.

“Hey.” you absentmindedly call on Mat who had just sipped on his drink. “I know what we should do.”

“All right.” he puts the glass down, “Lay it on me.”

“Let’s fix you up with one of the girls over there.” you suggest, leaning towards his body so you could get a better view upfront. Mat does not move and instead follows your finger subtly pointing at the other end of the room.

“What’s with the sudden fixation of getting me bagged tonight, huh?” he smirks, shaking his head at the idea of having to go home with some random girl. You give him a side eye as you move away from him.

“Fixation is an overstatement. We’ll be here long enough for us to get sick of each other.” you explicitly told him.

Mat eyes you intently. Searching if there was even the slightest doubt in your eyes.

Long enough to get sick of each other.

He clears his throat instead and looks across the room. “Which one?”

A gleeful cheer erupts from you just before you look over the girls in question. “What’s your type?” you ask him, not sparing a glance.

Mat looks down on you underneath the bar lights accentuating your features. Your eyes had a certain glint in them that Mat still can’t get a grasp on. Something that was just enough to spark something inside him. He didn’t want to overthink it nonetheless. It must have been just the lights.

Once Mat sensed that you were about to look at him he immediately turned his gaze forward, squinting his eyes a little pretending to check out the women you’ve been eyeing for the last minute.

“I don’t really have a type.” he shrugs, casually taking the fragile glass to his mouth.

You dismiss what he said at once, “Do I look like a child to you? Just answer it.”

Mat shakes his head, “I told you. I don’t have one. If we vibe then we vibe. Simple as that.”

You did not believe him but you decide to drop it off. Instead, you look back and return to your new found mission. Across the bar, seated were three girls busy talking to each other.

“Got it.” you tell Mat, nodding your head towards the clueless girl sitting right across from where Mathew was. “The one in the center.” you add. “The one wearing a white bodycon.”

“She’s pretty.” he nods, validating your taste as his potential wingman. “Nice smile.”

Your hand met a firm slap on the table as you went on cheering for him. “Well? Go then!” you give him a nudge, taking it back quickly when you feel a slight hesitation on his part, “Don’t tell me you need me to introduce you?”

He takes the remainder of his glass and shaked off the kick it had in his throat. “You just sit and watch, babe.”

You do as you’re told and lean towards the bar, your elbow carrying all your weight whilst you sip on your half-full martini.

Mathew’s stance and the way he carries himself immediately caused the girls to notice him coming. Of course, you weren’t really surprised. You watch him approach her,– reading along the words leaving his mouth. There was an exchange of proper ‘hello’s’ as Mat introduced himself to the girls. He reaches out his hand and the curly noirette in the center gives him a firm shake.

Mat’s eyes momentarily locked with yours just as you see their hands linger in the air— tangled long enough for him to make a quick segway. He winks your way as he sees you grin from your seat, shaking your head just after you felt the need to take a deep breath. A thing you assumed to be because of the drink. So, while Mat leads the girl to one of the empty booths and sits across from her, you call on River and ask for another drink.

Mathew must have lost track of time by the second drink he shared with Zoe. He learns that she’s from upstate and was just on the island to visit her friends. She’s still working on her major at NYU; coincidentally in the same field as Lianna so that was one of the things they’ve talked about first hand. She wasn’t really into sports so Mat steered clear of his job because he didn’t want to bore her.

“So…” Zoe smiles and tucks her hair behind her ear. “What’s the deal with you and the girl you’re with?”

By the time she asked about you, only then did Mat remember who he was originally with.

“Oh! She’s—” he looks over to where you’re seated only to find you laughing— no giggling with a man that was obviously a few years older than you. He’s wearing a neat black suit and a button down shirt with a couple of its first buttons opened. Zoe sees him frown, evidently losing his train of thought.

She calls him with her sweet voice, “Mat?”

“Yeah?” he absentmindedly answers, not wanting to take his eyes off of your hand that was now gently pushing the man’s arm whilst the two of you continue to burst into laughter.

“Are you okay?” she asks.

What’s so funny?

Finally, Mat hears Zoe’s distant voice that eventually took him back to his seat.

“Oh. Y-Yeah.” he apologetically smiles. “Sorry. What were you saying again?”

She hesitates to ask about you after taking a quick glance your way upon seeing the way Mathew looked at you. Nevertheless, she decides to go for it.

“Aren’t you two together? I don’t want to come off strong here or anything. It’s just that I don’t want to get in between something if there ever is.”

Mat looks at you one more time and as if you’ve felt his eyes all along you turn your way and meet his gaze. You shoot him a quiet smile, eyeing the guy sitting beside you, mouthing what he assumes to be an exaggerated “So hot!” on your end. He reciprocates your smile and gives you an approving nod.

Once you looked away, that’s the only time Mat finally answered the woman waiting patiently for his attention.

“What?” Mat shakes his head wildly, blowing out air off his lips defensively. “No no no. We’re just friends. She’s my roommate actually.” he shrugs you off his mind and instead tries to put his entire focus on her.

The remaining hours were spent with you and Mat getting along with your respective potential hook-ups. Not that it wasn’t the endgame either of you were hoping for at the back of your minds.

He’s got to admit that Zoe was the kind of girl he’d be interested in. Another fact he’s kept a mental tab not to mention to you because he knows you’ll just get cocky.

She was sweet and obviously eloquent. He knows she’s way smarter than he’ll ever be. But out of all those qualities, she was just as passionate at her craft as someone he likes to think he knows well enough. And that alone made a small smile creep on his lips.

Nonetheless, despite all the aforementioned, Mathew found himself a bit more reserved than he usually is whenever he gets to meet and talk to his potential ‘lady friends’ as how you’ve put it countless times. He just wasn’t his exact self. And he was beginning to question it.

There were no fancy hockey plays thrown subtly into the conversation. Neither mentions of golfing nor over the top league events. No butchered french pet names swiftly tucked in his sentences. And no endless questions that would eventually lead to something along the lines of ‘Do you want to get out of here?’

Well, not until Zoe’s friends got up their seats and she told him herself.

“Hey. The girls and I are meeting up with some friends in Brooklyn. D’ya wanna come?”

Mat’s eyes trail down to her hand now gently caressing his. He raises both his brows thinking of a possible ‘out’ because he wasn’t sure if it was a smart thing to leave you alone with a stranger.

He hums, “Sure.”

Zoe shows him a delighted smile before eventually sliding out of the booth to walk towards the bar she and her friends were formally seated.

“I gotta use the restroom first. Please excuse me.” she gives him a nod before going back to chatting with her friends.

You, on the other hand, see Mat leave the table aiming for an archway you presume to be where the loo was.

“Hey,” you call the man whose name you’ve already forgotten. Your pause was long enough for him to acknowledge the chances that you actually did forget who he was. Obviously.

“Chris.” The man in his early 30s answers with a submitting grin.

You shyly laugh, squeezing his forearm as you try to apologize for forgetting.

“Would you mind if I use the restroom?” you politely ask.

“No, not at all.” he replies and immediately stands to help you get on your feet. Gentleman.

Once you are in front of the men’s room, you anxiously wait for your wingman. You hug your purse close to your chest. Not a whole minute after, the door finally opens and you meet Mat’s irises with quite a gleeful look.

A look he wasn’t a fan of for he knew what’s about to come next.

“Are you taking off?” you eagerly ask, almost hopping on your feet.

Mat eyes you from head to toe, looking for signs that would stink from a drunk y/n. When he sees none, that’s when he decides to say that he was.

“Mkay good. I’ll be on my way too. Chris is taking me to New Jersey.” you tell him, briefly looking through the archway to see if there were people listening.

Once you know you’re clear, you lean towards Mat, your lips dangerously close to the sensitive skin of his ear. Mat feels your heated breath sending a familiar tingle up his spine. “I’ll get to ride a yacht tonight.” you bite your lower lip and giddily smile as if you were a cheeky 16 year-old usually depicted in a coming of age movie.

“Who’s Chris?” Mat, in spite of taking rounds observing you all night, finds the need to ask. “And why are you coming with him to NJ?” he further questions.

“Uh– okay, dad.” you step back for a second. You let out a scoff, checking if he was being serious about it. “I thought we’re supposed to go get laid tonight? Weren’t you about to take off with that girl yourself?”

Mat averts your gaze and starts to scratch the corner of his brow. “Well yeah. It’s just that— he looks sketchy.” he pauses, “plus… isn’t he a little too old for you?”

You roll your eyes as you’ve already expected to hear the words from him.

“He’s 31. He’s not that old.” you say rather defensively so you turn the ball back on his court. “And what if he was? Didn’t you ask one of the moms out??”

Mat’s eyes widens and you try to bite back a laugh. He whispers with a biting tone, trying to save himself. “She didn’t look like one! I’m gonna kill Beau I swear to god.”

“Come on Barz. Don’t be such a killjoy. Text me if you need anything, okay? Wrap things up while you’re at it.” you say at once. Mat doesn’t get the chance to talk you out of such a stupid idea because before he even could, you’ve already planted a kiss on his cheek and started walking away.

Mat waited for the sound of the heavy doors of the bar, signaling that you and your friend have gone, before stepping back to where Zoe was. She waves him near the coat closet.

“Hi.” Mat greets her friends before eventually turning his attention on the unsuspecting lass. She meets her with a smile (just like what she’s been doing all night). The same smile, however, drops the second Mat opens his mouth. “Can I talk to you for a sec?”

Zoe nods and willfully abides, letting Mat take her gently by the arm.

“What’s up?” she innocently asks.

“Something came up.” he says a little too fast than what he’d originally intended. He was going to let her down either way might as well get it over with and rip up the asshole band-aid.

“Oh.” she says in a tone Mat knew that she completely understood.

“No worries.” she looks at him with a knowing look in her eyes. “I’ll see you around then.”

He gives her a kind smile and nods. “Take care.”

Mathew walks towards the bar, catching River’s teasing grin whilst he cleans up after the bottles left on the center of the counter.

“What?” Mat reacts defensively, taking a seat in front of the lone bartender. River faintly shakes his head to leave just enough curiosity in Mathew’s mind.

“You’re such a tool, old man.” the kid says aiming for the cold beer River has put away for himself. River did not mind because he’s grown fond of the star player for the past years he’s spent going on late night drinks at his bar. Years that even justifies a proper amount of time for him to know the in’s and out’s of one Mathew Barzal.

“I haven’t said a thing.” he shrugs amidst the already wide grin on his face.

There’s wisdom in his eyes that Mathew has always admired. He wasn’t the guy who’d want to talk about what’s going on inside his head but with how River’s pub seems to be just the right place, he eventually concedes and takes a shot to pick on the old man’s brain.

“Come on, spill it out. I know you’re going to anyway.” Mat gives in, running his thumb on the moist label of the bottle.

River wipes his hands before resting it atop the counter. “Well, it’s just that– I ain’t used to seeing you turn down ladies like that too often. And you’re definitely not one to stick around watching me clean up.”

Mat stays silent for a moment, as if to gather the exact reason as to why he chose to stay. He still has a long way to go before figuring that one out. He wasn’t exactly as sharp as he was on the ice.

“I don’t know, man.” he chuckles tirelessly, “I guess I wasn’t in the mood. That’s all.”

“You?” River shots a brow and dismisses him, shaking his head. When Mat doesn’t answer, he carefully picks on his choice of words and lays it down carefully for him. After all, Mathew should have known that River was old enough to not know what’s going on.

“Though I gotta be honest with you, hijo. Never imagined you’d bring someone here.” he starts.

What must have been a shot in the dark for the old man was just enough to tear Mathew’s eyes away from staring at the water beads on the bottle.

“What?”

“The girl, Barz.” he says, banging on the head of the bottle to knock the cap off. “She a friend?”

“What? Y/N?” Mat quirks his brows trailing off where River was exactly headed, “What about her?— Oh, her? Yeah, no. She’s just a friend.”

“She pretty.” he speaks in a sound accent, not wanting to let Mat know he’s growing to like catching the young lad off guard. Mathew nods casually despite the continuous blabbering. “She’s y/n. But yeah— I guess, she is pretty.”

“Then what are you doing being just friends with a pretty girl?” River inquires, taking a sip of his beer. When he sees him trying to register what he’d just said he then adds, “Why not be with her? Date her?”

“Psh. What? Date y/n? That’s crazy.” Mat shakes his head furiously, “You’re crazy.”

“What’s so crazy about that?” River takes offense, laughing at the child’s naivete.

“I can’t date her. I mean— I won’t date her.” he takes the bottle to his mouth, taking a large gulp before continuing, “We’re in this weird relationship thing. A setup, actually, and it’s— it’s crazier than dating her. I swear, you of all people won’t get it.”

“What makes you think I can’t?” he smirks, “I’ve had my fair share of crazy.” River points out despite the hesitation in Mat’s eyes. “I got all night, kid.” he adds, letting him have the floor to himself.

“You really want in on this?” he second guesses, not wanting to bore the man with his personal life.

River leans against the brass counter just below the lit rack of vintage scotch displayed on the bar. He then gestures him to give a piece of his mind and Mat finally submits to his offer.

“We’ve been in a few… prior engagements,” he starts trying to find the appropriate word. “Well, sort of.”

River hums, not necessarily getting on the same page as him so he decides to be upfront about it.

“We’ve… slept together.” he confesses.

“So you used to date her?” the old man asks.

“No.” he answers, “I told you we’re just friends.”

With furrowed brows, River takes a minute. And once Mat hears an all too familiar “Oh.” he sees him break a chuckle, shaking his head at the thought of what Mat had just told him. “You kids have way too much fun these days.”

Mathew shrugs, “Hey, I warned you. Told you you wouldn’t get it.”

“Okay, make me understand something here. You two sleep together, fool around, do all that shit.” he says, “and you swear you’re not in a relationship?”

“Nope.” Mat answers with pride, popping out the word with a hard ‘p’.

“Huh.” River clicks his tongue, “How long have you two been… engaged?”

He rolls his eyes when River uses his word, “About two months.” he answers shortly.

“Is she seeing anyone since you two started this thing? You know, casual dates, the ones I presume she’s been getting before you got her into this mess?” he asks him in a tone that only fathers would ever dare to use.

Mat thinks for a moment, trying to recall the last time he’s seen a guy pick you up for dinner besides the old man you’ve successfully bagged for the night. He firmly shakes his head no and simply says, “At least not in my recollection.”

River willfully nods, walking Mat right into the trap. “Well have you been seeing anyone lately?” he asks again, this time slipping a hint of assertion. He hears a crystal clear ‘no’ from the forward and that’s when he broke a goading grin.

“And you’re telling me you two aren’t together?” he asks yet again, getting on Mat's nerves as he continues to flood him with biting queries, building up the final point he was about to break on Mathew.

“Rivs, for the hundredth time, no. We are not.” he clarifies.

Mat watches River pour himself a glass of scotch, still wearing a smug grin. “Imma give you a piece of advice, yeah?” he smiles rather teasingly and doesn’t wait for Mat to rebut, “I’m a happily married man so I don’t know a single squat about dating nowadays, but if you’re telling me that you kids aren’t sleeping with anyone else but yourselves? Looks like a damn relationship to me.”

With his brows all quirked in confusion (and denial in the very least), Mathew gathers all his might just so he could refute whatever madness River was trying to inflict on him and screw him up in the head. But before he could even open his mouth, the sound of the heavy doors was all it took to tear up both River’s and Mat’s attention.

“Hi.” you say the moment you were welcomed by unsuspecting men talking by the bar. River acknowledges you by raising his drink, his gaze landing on Mat the moment yours did.

“Hi.” Mathew mirrors you in an attempt to drown his already racing heart. A smile impending to break loose at any moment but he manages to suppress it. Instead of dealing with his adrenaline, he gestures for you to take a seat beside him.

“Where’s the sugar daddy?” he laughs the moment you drag yourself from across the room, mocking every word he said.

“His wife called when I got into his car.” you cringe.

“Oof. Lovely.” Mat makes the distinct expression on his face just before the two of you share a laugh.

“He’s not very smooth with adultery. He needs more practice.” you casually state sarcastically, clicking your tongue.

As you find the narrative funny, you take a sip on Mathew’s beer. “How are you not drunk? You’ve been drinking way too much the entire night.”

“Well. I’ve got some things to think about—” he cuts himself off upon seeing your mouth ajar, “And no, you’re not allowed to ask because none of it concerns you.”

“I wasn’t going to.” you dismiss him, excusing yourself to River which he gladly took as his cue to leave.

When he disappeared into the kitchen, you turned your gaze on your friend wearing another one of your mischievous grins, “Hey, wanna get pancakes?”

“Y/N, it’s almost 3 AM.” Mat sighs, the tiring night starting to creep up to him.

“So?” you question, swatting his hand away when you catch him checking on his watch.

“Come on. Stop drinking that.” you insist and take the bottle from his hand before putting it over to the side.

The two of you said your goodbyes to the lone bartender who was just starting to clean up again. River gives the two of you a nod of acknowledgement before landing a knowing look on Mathew. One that he’s thankful enough not to be discerned by you.

As you walk alongside Mathew, he unconsciously places a hand on the small of your back— feeling it graze on the fabric of your coat as if to guide you towards the door in an almost romantic type of way. Perhaps, a way someone would behave if they were actually in a relationship.

Mat notices your body tense but he doesn’t move an inch. Instead, his hand travels to the curve of your waist just as he leads you through the brass doors.

Once you’re out on the streets, he lets go.

𖥸

After almost half an hour of fighting over which diner is better to eat and get sober at, you and Mat decide to just try the new diner three blocks from your apartment. Being that it was an ungodly hour, the diner was good as closed when you got in. There were a few people inside and besides the student studying alone in the corner booth, the people lounging in the vacant seats were mostly just staff. Too bad they had to work the grave shift.

Mathew, who was rather preoccupied digging in his breakfast platter, gets interrupted when you call his attention.

“So tell me,” you ask as you take a forkful of syrupy pancake into your mouth. Finally satisfying your cravings. You put the food modestly in the insides of your cheeks when you ask him a question, “What are you like on dates?”

Mat disgustingly looks at you. You easily get what such a look meant and you immediately roll your eyes. You let your hand fall in mid-air amidst still holding a fork in it to prove a point. “I’m not trying to ask you out, dumbass. Don’t be so delusional.”

He puts his silverware down and wipes his mouth with a napkin. “Why the sudden interest?”

“Just curious.” you simply say.

He hums, thinking about how he pulls off a first date. He then clears his throat as he takes you down that road. “First, I’m not bringing her to a 24/7 Diner.” you nearly gag. “She deserves a formal one just in case there won’t be a second date.” he explains.

You sit there, nodding your head every now and then as he further goes on the details of how he’s like on a date. “Of course, I’d put my best foot forward all the time. Talk about her stuff more than mine and make sure she has a good time.”

“Have you ever had a bad first date?” you curiously ask. To which he only answers with a stubborn look on his face, the one only Mat Barzal could pull off. “What? me? I don’t do bad first dates.”

“Oh, fuck off.” you flick his forehead as you laugh. The sound of his laughter echoing in your ears, drowning all the existing noise inside the lone diner.

But as the laughter dies down, Mat catches your eyes as soon as it falls on his. And just like that, there it was again, the exact same glint it had back in the bar. This time, illuminated by the pink shaded light lining up the wall accents of the diner.

When he realizes that he’s been staring for too long, he settles on turning the tables on you.

“How about you?” he props in his seat, “What are you like on dates?”

“You know, apart from the fact that you’re obviously into old men.” he snickers and you throw a curly fry on his forehead.

“Excuse me, I don’t.” you say sticking up for yourself.

Mat takes the curly fry that has fallen on his plate and proceeds to eat it. “Sure you do.”

You roll your eyes, finding it hard to suppress the fact that you might actually do. “There’s a reason why women like old men, chico.”

He leans back and answers with a level headed and quite teasing reply, “And why’s that?”

“Because they’re men.” you look at him with a jerky grin as you continue, “And men, especially of River’s kind, definitely knows how to eat his french fry.”

Mat’s mouth falls wide in disbelief, appalled that you’ve actually found a way to pick up a stone and throw it straight to his face just to rub more salt on the fact that you had to teach a 23-year-old grown man how to eat cunt.

“You’re an ass.” he says, rolling his eyes. You let out a laugh and shake your head. You were proud of yourself, sure; but showing just that is far too much for a boy’s already hurting ego. Who would have known humbling this man was such a task.

“I’m playing! You know how to now.” you tell him, “Thanks to me, of course.”

He scoffs and takes a bite off his pancakes, “Cocky.”

“But you still haven’t answered my question.” he reminds you whilst he wipes off his lips with a napkin.

“There’s not much to tell. You know I’m not high maintenance.” you tell him, ignoring the fact that you haven’t been on an actual date for so long you’re almost sure you’ve forgotten how to be in one.

“I know it’s cheesy and corny but I do think it’s still in the littlest things, you know?” you sigh. Trying to remember the last relationship (date even) you had wherein those little things, the ones that are merely the bare minimum, were actually given to you.

“You know, it’s not much, really. Maybe just a good talk without having to watch him watch me talk all night when he’s really thinking about how I’d look naked, you know what I mean?” you laugh it off, “I know, it’s stupid.”

The arrogant man sitting before you was silent for once, profusely wanting to wash the pool of melancholy he sees in your eyes. There must have been a shit ton of guys who overlooked how great of a woman you actually are just because they couldn’t stop thinking with the head in between their legs even just for a second.

Mathew knows. And he hates that he’s been ‘that’ guy at some point. Probably until now considering him thinking with his balls on was the very thing that got the two of you here in the first place.

You take a deep breath, smiling. “Anyway, that’s better than almost getting with a married man. Right?”

“Right.” Mat laughs, his gray eyes bright under all the lights as he plays with his silverware,— devoid of how much he looked like as if he was utterly and undeniably in awe of not just the energy of the woman sitting in front of him alone nor the fact that she was by far the most unbelievable woman he’s known, but most importantly, he’s yet to realize how much in deep he’s beginning to be for the woman she actually were.

Just as she is.

𖥸

You left the diner a good hour before the sunrise and what must have been a quick five minute drive if you had only taken a cab, became a twenty minute foot race between you and Mathew.

You knew that walking was a bad idea but somehow, Mat’s charm and persuasive antics had a better hold than you thought you had on your very capable cognition.

As you drag your feet into the confines of the elevator in your complex, you hear Mathew chuckling behind you with a firm hand securely placed on your waist supporting your balance.

“You know— and not just ‘cause I’m an athlete, can I just say that you’re in a very bad shape?” he says almost a whisper in your ear, his voice low and deep.

You roll your eyes, leaning on the steel cold mirror once he pulls away, “You do it in heels then tell me who’s in a bad shape.”

“Fair point.” he chuckles yet again, shying away. He presses the number for your floor before resting across from you. As Mat watches you catch your breath, he jokes in the hopes of breaking the ice between the two of you.

“So…” he clicks his tongue, playful eyes looking at you, “Wanna tap?”

Disgusted to your very core, you let out a scoff just as you shake your head. “You’re fucking sick.” you laugh upon meeting his dumb grinning face. Seconds into laughter, Mat’s silence kills off the humor. The two of you exchange glances, the smiles on your faces receding into quietude.

Mathew didn’t want to end the night letting you in the apartment not knowing what he’s been feeling the moment you’ve let him drag you out for an impromptu night out. And stupid as it was, the only thing he could think of was to slide his foot across the enclosed space embracing the two of you, nudging on your boot. You on the one hand were rather puzzled as to what caused such language. You send him a mental query by arching a brow. He lets his head fall back on the cold metal surrounding the elevator finally deciding to speak his truth.

“I’m glad we get to hang out now. You know, just like friends do.” he genuinely says.

“Me too.” you say, smiling. “I really had fun tonight. Thank you.”

As you meet his eyes, you see a glimmer of softness in his gaze.

“Good thing I got bored, eh?” he says with a smirk.

“Good thing I came back for you.” you reply.

A quiet smile parts from his lips.

“Yeah. I’m glad you did.”

It was a few seconds when you and Barzy parted from your respective walls to meet the sliding doors as it opened on your designated floor. You were pulling him closer by the tie of his coat whilst his hand was instinctively placed on your hips letting him press his body on you. Your faces were inches from each other’s, evident of not wanting to prolong the totally unplanned foreplay that’s about to go down in a communal lift.

But just like every film you’ve watched your whole life, the inevitable cliché befalls the two of you when the next words that filled the enclosed walls you’re currently caged in came from the man who has yet to miss a morning jog.

“What the hell is going on here?”

#mat barzal #mat barzal imagine #mat barzal fanfiction #mat barzal fic #mat barzal x reader #mat barzal smut #hockey imagine #nhl imagine #hockey fic #nhl fic #hockey smut #letters to barzy #barzzal imagines

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tom-holland-parker · 3 years

Text

No Body No Crime

Summary: Tom knows you had something to do with the victims disappearance and its driving his crazy that you don’t crack easily

Pairing: Detective!Tom x reader

Warning: Murder?? Sexual innuendos, Cops

Word Count: 1412

Note: Based off the song no body no crime by Taylor Swift. This idea came to me in the shower and like I do with all my writings I wrote this when I was half asleep. Anyway ACAB

Masterlist

////

You sat in the dark room. The only light coming from the small window to your left. They had you seated facing the mirror, but you knew they were watching from the other side. Just waiting for you to crack. One small slip up and this case would be solved.

Thankfully you were smart. You kept your composure as you waited for the two detectives to come in. It wasn't long till their return. Talking amongst themselves as you sipped your water.

Soon they turned to you getting ready to start the interview. "Ma'am my name's Tom and this is my partner Harrison" he was eager to start the questioning you could tell by his rushed introduction. "Let's just get to the point I know you had something to do with it" He spoke. His British accent was exceptionally rare for the small southern town you lived in.

Your eyes shifted to the man beside him who was hesitant compared to his partner. You could tell he didn't entirely agree with Tom. "Im sorry detective but you call me up here at 9 in the morning and tell me I have something to do with a crime that I'm completely unaware of" you faked your voice trying your best to sound completely oblivious to what was happening.

He scoffed looking as his partner before looking back at you. "Oh please. You're telling me you have no idea about Gus Armstrong's disappearance"

"Oh that" you sighed, "well then you're wrong because I had nothing to do with it". You wanted to smirk but kept a straight face.

"Mr. Armstrong's wife went missing a couple months back" his partner finally spoke. His British accent matching his friends, "I understand Tom here questioned you about that case as well"

You watched as he opened the small folder in front of him. His eyes scanned through the interview manuscripts. You nodded your head as he pulled out a piece of paper and handed it to Tom.

"Yes Este was my closest friend I miss her dearly" They stared at you trying to determine if you were faking it. It was sincere. She was your closest friend, it nearly killed you when she went missing.

"You said that you fully believed it was her husband that was the cause of her disappearance" Harrison stated as he leaned closer trying to understand everything. You nodded your head, "yes I did and I still do. I know he had something to do with it"

Tom chuckled, "what makes you think that?"

You perked up at his sudden interest. He didn't seem to care when you sat in this same set a few weeks ago. "Este knew her husband had been cheating. The constant late nights. The new jewelry purchases. There was no question about it"

You took another sip of your water, "she was a strong woman and so she confronted him. I waited for her 2 hours at the restaurant for our usual Tuesday night dinner and wine. But when she didn't show up I knew something was wrong. When she was reported missing the next day I knew he did it. Gus always had problems with his anger. But no one believed me. No one else seemed to notice the new tires on his truck or even how his mistress moved in so quickly after the case had be closed"

You could still hear the words Tom had said to you the day the case was deemed unsolved.

“So you’re just gonna let him go” You stared at him anger filling all your senses. He sipped his coffee not having the nerve to look at you.

“Sorry Ma’am, No body No crime”

"And that's when you took matters into your own hand" Tom finally spoke. You chuckled in amusement. He truly believed he had you.

"I'm sorry but as far as I'm concerned I'm not even a real suspect. I heard most people believe it was his mistress" They both leaned back in their seats slightly disappointed that you didn't crack.

You played with the chipped polish on your nails. "Yes it really doesn't look good for her. Taking out such a large life insurance policy just days before your new husband disappears"

Harrison rolled his eyes completely irritated that he had even entertained the thought of you being the suspect. "I need some air" he rose from the table and left the room leaving just you and Tom who didn't seem to give up as easily.

"You're good" he leaned in closer to you catching eye contact. "Too good"

You smirked as he ran his hands through his hair in frustration. You loved to see a strong man get frustrated. "Tell me Holland" you got up from your seat leaning in closer as your fingers gently drawing mindless shapes over the skin on his arm. "What do you think when you see me"

He took a deep breath shifting around in his seat, "I see a woman who thinks she's in control" he grabbed your wrist pulling you even closer. Your faces are only inches away from each other as he whispered in your ear. His grip on your wrist was firm but not tight enough to hurt you. "I'm the one in charge here now sit your pretty ass down and confess"

You smiled taking your time as you sat down in your chair again. "I'm usually on my knees when I do a confession" you teased loving the fact that you can work him up with just your words.

He took another deep breath wanting nothing more than to see you on your knees. "Where were you two nights ago?" he asked hoping that staying on subject would stop his filthy imagination.

You sighed crossing your arms as you leaned back in your seat. "Like I said before I was with Este's sister"

It wasn't a complete lie. You had been with her that night just not the whole time. "Yeah well im having some officers go confirm that for me" he spoke as he looked through the file once more. You couldn't help but stare at the long bruised covered fingers that tapped mindlessly on the table. Your head fills with lust filled thoughts as you try to regain your composure. Only moving your eyes once he looked at you

The room remained silent as you both stared at each other. You enjoyed watching Tom try and keep his cool. He enjoyed watching how effortlessly you were able to trick everyone. He found it sexy.

Harrison returned shaking his head. "Well her alibi checks out" he turned to you. "I'm sorry for any problem we've caused"

You stood up slowly, your eyes still attached to Tom. "Well officer I'm afraid you've got a mistress to arrest" Tom didn't want to watch you exit, leaving him alone with his filthy thoughts

///

You waited until the case was closed to show your face around Tom again. It was at the town's yearly festival. He sat on the bench sipping his tea watching the floats drive down Main St.

You sat down next to him not saying anything just enjoying the silence. He spoke first, "Case went unsolved"

His voice was blunt yet quiet as if he only wanted you to hear. You took a sip of your own coffee enjoying the breeze. You knew it drove him crazy. You hadn't intended to do it but you did enjoy the way he was so frustrated by the case.

Minutes of silence went by before you decided to end his torture. The case was closed after all. You sighed, "my daddy made me get a boating license when I was 15"

His head shot towards you but he stood silent wanting to hear more, "I've cleaned enough houses to know how to cover up a scene"

It was sort of comical how the rest of the world seemed to be happy outside of the small bubble you both created on that bench. "Good thing Este's sister swore she was with me"

You took a sip of your coffee watching as his mouth fell open slightly. You both sat quiet as you gave him time to process. "Why are you telling me this?" He asked. If you hadn't been so close to him you wouldn't have heard him speak.

You chuckled finishing up the last of your coffee before getting up. Turning to him slowly, "No body No crime"

#tom holland #tom holland x reader #tom holland x you #tom holland smut #tom holland x reader angst #tom holland imagine #tom holland fluff #harrison osterfield #harrison osterfeild imagine #tom holland x y/n #peter parker #peter parker x reader #imagine #tom blurbs #detective!tom

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scarletwidowaf · 3 years

Text

broadway, baby. (part 1)

Florence pugh x female Reader

Summery: reader is a singing waitress in a new York restaurant (like in glee) where many famous people go to, and one night the little women cast are are there and R is their waitress.

Warnings: there's some cursing and harassment. Its not revolve around it but its there.

A\N: im soft for florence pugh and this is a complete shit.

masterlist

Credits: Glee Gif Credit • Florence Gifs Credit

“I'm just a Broadway Baby, walking off my tired feet, Pounding Forty Second Street to be in a show. Broadway Baby, learning how to sing and dance, waiting for that one big chance to be in a show.” - Cast of follies

Life can be hard and some days can be rough, especially in your line of work where people competed for the spotlight on a daily basis. but that's life and that’s the road you chose to walk through. And it's alright, after all, what's life without a spark? A movie without a breaking point? or a shift at Clayton's without drama?

This was one of these days, the kind of days who kept you on an edge as your body and mind both ached for a break.

'Just roll with it. just a few hours for your day off.' You silently said to yourself.

Being a young artist in New York was a challenge you’ve taken on yourself, luckily for you working at "Clayton's" was a good way to start a career. most people who started working there were young talented artist who were determined to make an impression over the industry. The place was always packed with many famous people, from actors to singers and producers. So, in many ways, working in "Clayton's" could be a ticket to Broadway or the music industry. And that was the reason you moved there in the first place.

You tried the traditional way, but after months of trying to get into college and fix your past mistakes, like your high school career, you decided that this path wasn’t for you. no matter what you did or how hard you tried your ADHD still managed to kick your ass. So, that’s how you ended up as a singing waitress in NY. You liked your job, truly. You liked singing and dancing and meeting cool people along the way, but sometimes it was just too much.

"You look like shit" Aaron said from his spot at the bar.

Aaron was a sweet guy and probably the only straight person in your group of friends. He was charming and talented and most importantly; he was the first friend you got in NY.

Aaron pulled his long brown hair into a bun as he chuckled at you. You huffed in frustration in return.

"Thanks" you muttered as he passes you a mug with coffee, hoping to help you get a grip before the restaurant opens.

"You need to rest" he said. "properly"

"that’s overrated" you joked and took a sip.

You felt an hand on your shoulder and you turned around to meet your friend's stern gaze. "You, okay?" she asked

"Always" you answered Mackenzie's question and she raised her eyebrow, knowing full well you were lying.

"we should sing as a warm up!" David, another one of your coworkers and Aaron's twin brother said.

"Let's not" Aaron said as he rolled his eyes at his brother's enthusiasm.

You laughed quietly as the two started bickering. Mack and you glanced at each other knowingly. Both of you already know who will win in the stupid argument.

15 minutes later, after a group warm up and Aaron's dramatic sighs 'Clayton's' was open for business.

It was a nice evening, not too full, not too loud. And most importantly, not too many known faces.

Of course, you liked to have famous people on your shifts, and it could obviously be a game changer for you but it can get intense at times and you want in the mood. Seriously, how can you be the only one who found singing "defying gravity' in font of Idina Menzel as a very stressful experience?? You were terrified by the idea you'll fuck up in front of the original singer- and make a total fool out of yourself.

When 10 pm rolled around, every opinion you had about the evening flew out the window. at this point, the restaurant was full with costumers and some known faces as well, and you found yourself holding every inch of you together as you approach the table who was occupied by the one and only Meryl Streep, and some fellow little women cast members.

*rule number 1 of working at Clayton's: don't make costumers feel uncomfortable. Don't annoy the costumers, don't ask for autographs if they're famous and generally treat them as normal and respectfully as you can. *

"Hello, my name is Y/N and ill be your waitress for tonight" you introduced yourself with a small smile. The women smiled at you brightly.

"How does it work" Meryl held the tablet with a puzzled expression. "Am I that old?" She joked

"Barley" One of the other women, Emma fucking Watson, said.

"I know it looks complicated-" you told them as you took the tablet from Meryl's hand."-But it's pretty simple, actually, I promise. As you can see the top part of the tablet is divided into two sections: The right one who says 'ask for a waiter'- which means that your waiter- which in this case, me, is busy- probably performing at the moment, and you can ask for a different waiter." You said with an ease, knowing the explanation by heart.

"The left section says 'ask for my waiter' which is a pretty simple one to understand... I guess- if you'll need me for whatever reason, you can press it and it'll page me. Feel free to use it." You said with a smile as you scanned their faces, making sure they understand the first part.

"And the bottom section?" Saoirse asked.

"The bottom section is the 'refill' sections. It will get into validation only after ill place your order in my own tablet and send to the kitchen." You explained as you gestured to your own tablet. "It's pretty useful, the point of it is that you can ask for a refill without having to social with me. Its awesome"

You noticed one of them, Florence pugh, scanning the tablet with a small smile- as she listened to your explanation. She was absolutely a sight for sore eyes, that's for sure.

"Thats pretty cool" she said and you nodded in agreement.

"Yeah, I got really excited over it when I started working here" you admitted awkwardly "most importantly- When a section isn't relevant its will be grey instead of in color so you won't get confused. Like, for example - if You haven't ordered anything yet you can't get a refill, for the obvious reason. or if I'm not performing you can't ask for another waiter... which means you're stuck with me for the time being" you finished with a small chuckle.

"I don't think any of us mind that" Florence smiled and the others agreed. The blonde smiled at you again and you blushed slightly. "You're singing, right?" she asked out of the blue, just when you were about to leave and let them look through their menus.

"Yeah, i do. In a few minutes, actually"

"Thats cool! Good luck" she smiled and you wondered if Emma, who set the closest to you, could hear how fast your heart's beating.

"Thank you" you said with a smile and turned around to the stage.

__________________

"you paged? I'm guessing you guys ready to order then" You said as you approached their table after your performance.

"YOU WERE SO GODD!" Florence said excitedly.

"Thank you" you blushed slightly.

What. The. Fuck. Y/N?! You scolded yourself.

The others joined into the conversation with their own compliments and you thought you'd die when Meryl Streep, the legend herself, complimented you.

After another few moments the conversation calmed downed and moved to the next, and most important topic: the food. You tried your best to not blush under Florence's soft gaze and keep your focus on the other members of her table as they consulted you about the dishes, but damn, that was hard. luckily for you it didn’t take long and a few minutes later, their order was sent to the kitchen.

The next hour and a half weren't much different. you sang and placed orders, you smiled to costumers and even pretend to laugh at some old man's joke. And maybe (just maybe) you glanced over to Florence every now and then.

The thing about Clayton's is that apart for the famous people who visit there frequently, it also contains many of the rich and the snobs of New York, so you weren't surprised when you got paged from a table who was occupied by two guys with fancy clothes and their parents credit card.

"Hey" one of them said to you as you approached them.

"hey, welcome to Clayton's! You're David's table, right?" You said and pointed at your friend who started his own performance.

"Yeah, the fag one" the other guy said and your smile fell.

Take a deep breath, Y/N. It's not worth it.

"I see you guys already ordered a few minutes ago" you said as you checked your tablet.

"Yeah" the asshole confirmed.

"Okay, in that case, how can I help you?" You asked politely as you could.

"we would like to get the check." The first guy said politely as he pulled out a few bills from his wallet. "Keep the change" he said as you took it and made sure it was enough.

"Thank you" you smiled politely and made a mental note to give David his well-earned tip.

"my brother want to know if you're single" the asshole said and the nicer guy looked at his with his eyes wide.

Shit.

"I'm sorry, I'm in a relationship" you lied after a moment, hoping the lie will spare both his feeling and any more questions in the subject.

The guy nodded in understanding but on the other hand, the other guy didn’t seem to get the massage.

"I'm sure he won't mind sharing" the asshole said and you felt sorry for the poor guy for being related to this ass.

"What the fuck Chad" the nice guy said as chad smirked at you.

"yeah... that’s not going to happen." You glared at him "have a great weekend tho" you gritted out and turned around to leave.

you were taken by surprise when you felt chad's hand on your ass. Again, what the fuck?!

"What the fuck is wrong with you' asshole" you gritted out and moved away from him.

Don't make a scene. He's not worth it.

"C'mon-" he started to say as he got up. You moved away, knowing you were cornered since the place was full, the lights were deemed and the music was loud.

"Don't touch me" you said and moved away; you're back hitting an empty table who stood nearly.

"Hey what's going on here?" You heard and turned to catch Florence walking to you.

If a look could kill chad would’ve been dead. that’s for sure. It's like the sweet and excited Florence had left and a different, intimidating (and hot) version of her took her space and so help you god, you were glad she was on your side.

"Nothing! we were just leaving, really" Frankie said.

"None of your business" brad said and Florence raised her perfectly shaped eyebrow, daring him to cross her.

"I see" she said "well, I'm sure y/n won't mind my intruding"

'Thank god for Florence Pugh.' You thought.

Before chad could press the subject any further David, who just finished his performance, got there. You were sure he noticed that something was happening.

"what's going on here?" he asked after he scanned the situation quickly.

"nothing as I said to your friend, we were just leaving" Frankie said again.

he didn’t want to draw any negative attention, just like you, and thankfully for the both of you, not many people noticed the situation.

This time chad didn't answer, he just glared at Florence and you while his brother pulled him away from the place.

"so, are you going to tell me what happened?" David asked Florence and you after the two left.

Florence looked at you, waiting for you to answer him.

"Nothing" you lied. "it's okay David, you can go" you promised your friend. David looked at you with his 'I done believe you' expression, but he didn't press it any further. He just nodded before he turned around and left.

Rule number 2: do not make a scene under no circumstances. At Clayton's, everything you do while you're on the clock is practically showcased. You slip? you fall? you sing out of tune? Its under a spotlight, everyone can see that and everyone will have something to say about it. Thats the thing about this place. most people who started there and moved on to bigger things as Broadway or Hollywood were practically trained to keep their best poker face, act on the demand or pretend that everything is okay when it was clearly not.

"You should go back to your table" you said to Florence

she looked at you with an unreadable expression before she went back to her table. You didn't have much time to read into it since a few minutes later you found yourself at her table, printing their check and having a small friendly conversation with the women. You smiled at them as they left before you turned your tablet off and went to cover for Aaron at the bar.

"I thought you guys left" You said with a smile when the blonde approached you a few minutes later.

"Why did you lie?" Florence asked with the same unreadable expression from earlier.

Okay. No smiling then.

"I didn’t" you pulled out two shot glasses and filled them with tequila. The blonde gave you a 'are you kidding me' kind of look and you couldn't help but to chuckle. "I didn't see a reason to make a scene over nothing" you explained and downed one of the shots.

"It wasn't nothing Y/N" she said before taking the other glass.

"its fine. I'm fine. He didn’t do anything " you said as she downed her shot.

"Yeah, because I was there" she argued.

"I can handle guys like him. Seriously, at this point it might as well be a part of my job"

"you're not helping yourself"

"I liked you better smiling" you chuckled as she glared at you.

"I'm sure you did"

"shut up"

"How's your back?" She asked/

The blonde definitely didn't seem convinced about the chad situation but you were just grateful for the change of subject.

"It will be alright"

"Good"

"I appreciate your worry, truly. But I'm fine and I really don't want to hold you back here over it" you said

"Who said I was worried" she smirked at you with a raised eyebrow.

"Uh, you don't?" You played along

"Nope"

"Then why are you still here? Its almost 12 am, don't you have something better to do" you teased her

"no. Do you?" She turned the question and you laughed.

"I guess not - considering the fact I work here and I'm still on clock"

"Oh, please we both know this place is about to close" she argued your logic

"True" you admitted

"So, if you have nothing better to do, and you don't, would you like to go out with me? You kinda owe me after I saved your ass earlier"

"Uh, and here I thought you did that as an act of kindness" you joked. A small smile playing on your lips.

"Ew no" she said and You laughed. "Well?" Florence pressed with a cheeky smile.

"Yeah, why not. It's not like I have something better to do"

"Just what I wanted to hear" she joked.

#florence pugh #florence pugh x reader #florence pigh x female reader #florence pugh x fem!reader

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wonwoonlight · 3 years

Text

📣: boyfriend!Jun // idol!au // am not sure what to tag this lol a little angsty i guess? // hurt and comfort? //1441 words

warning: reader fainted

A/N: thank you for the prompt anon!! i rarely write junhui bc ive only written him like...once so i hope this isnt to ooc of him😭 enjoy!

find the rest of requested drabble here

People around you have always said you can be too hardheaded for your own good. At times, it brings you good things because your determination to push for the title track of your group’s last comeback has turned into a very good decision to say the least. Now your group even gets to perform somewhere near the last half of an award show due to the success of that comeback.

Sometimes, though, it’s probably the bane of your existence. You’ve been feeling like you’re going to get sick since at least a week ago; the tell-tales your body is showing you says so. A lot of time you get a sudden wave of headache and a few days ago it hit so hard you couldn’t even stand on your own.

Junhui knows about this from your members. One of them has called him, telling him to stop you from pushing yourself too hard because even they can tell you’re nearly burnout. He has called you right away, nagging you with his lecturing tone on why you should rest now so you can perform your best later.

His words only last a day.

After that, you’re back to forcing yourself because the award show is two days away and you can’t afford anything less than perfect. A trip to the hospital with your manager to inject vitamins and such seems to be enough conviction for you to tell the company things should be okay until d-day, that you’ll rest after that. They’re sceptical, but you do seem a little better so they let you be.

[14:22] Junpiii: saw you on rehearsal earlier

[14:22] Junpiii: you sure you’ll be ok? The choreo seems harder than usual

[14:34] You: im fineeeee. Its gnna be cool and youll see why im pushing this performance

[14:34] You: ill rest immediately after this, dw

[14:35] You: gtg eat and do my makeup

[14:35] You: see youuuuuuuuuuuu

[14:40] Junpiii: be careful ok?

“I really think you shouldn’t perform,” your leader tells you in concern.

You look up from your phone, rolling your eyes. “Seriously, why are you and Jun always nagging at the same time? It’s literally hours away, I can’t back away now.”

“We’ve literally been telling you to slow down,” she crosses her arms. She remembers the way your body just gave up at that one-day rest Junhui has forced you to take: you slept for almost 15 hours straight, your body finally happy with the rest only to be forced back to work the next day.

You just shrug, there’s no need talking about this again when the stage is right in front of your eyes. Plus, you feel fine enough now, just a little lightheaded earlier but it’s nothing compared to the headache from the other day. That should mean you’re good to go, right?

Walking out of your waiting room to go to the restroom, Junhui catches you by the elbow as you’re passing by, having gone back from one of his idol friend’s room.

“Oh, hi!” you greet him happily, it’s actually been a few days since you get to see him this close. The end of the year has always been hectic for idols, having to prepare different stages back-to-back for year-end shows and music festivals. “You looking good as usual,” you nod approvingly at him, patting his broad shoulders.

“And you’re not,” he says bluntly, frowning at you. How is it possible to be able to tell you seem less lively even when you have makeup on?

“Geez, what a way to support your girlfriend, Jun,” you scoff, pretending to be upset. “I know you think I’m pretty.”

“I’m not saying you don’t look pretty,” he exhales a deep breath, his hand carefully moves your hair behind your shoulder. “I really don’t think you should perform today.”

You hold back a sigh, not wanting to upset Junhui. You understand these people are trying to look out for you, but it can be disheartening to hear it over and over again when you just need to wait for a few hours more and be done with it.

“I can’t disappoint my fans, Jun,” you settle. Fans are always a sensitive topic, and you know Junhui would understand where you’re coming from once you bring them up. “They’ve been waiting for this special performance; I can’t let them down over some headache.”

“You know it’s not just headache,” he tries to reason with you, there are some staffs moving around the corridor, a few idols bow to the both of you in greetings. “You know I’m not the type to say this easily.”

You gently grasp his hand, giving it a firm squeeze before letting go. “I’ll be okay.”

Junhui has never been this much uncomfortable during an award show.

It’s almost your group’s turn now and there’s just a bad feeling hanging around his chest. For once, Junhui hopes his guts are wrong and you’ll really be okay, that you’ll finish the stage like it’s a piece of cake and then you’ll sleep until tomorrow once you’re back in your dorm.

But of course, bad feelings always prove to be right.

So far, it has been okay. Your stage is amazing, even, much more powerful than what he’s seen during rehearsal. But Junhui can’t even enjoy the stage when his eyes are too busy following you, making sure everything is okay and you’re feeling well.

Your smile might seem like you’re the happiest person on earth, and maybe you are, Junhui understands what it feels like to stand on the stage and perform for the people who support you. But the way you subtly miss your cue, the way you wince once the camera is off you, and the way your legs wobble a little when staying still tell him otherwise.

There’s about a minute left now, and Junhui genuinely hopes it’ll pass soon so you can go off stage and sit down for a while. One minute more, he digs his nails to his palms. One minute more and it’ll be okay.

For a moment, it really seems like it’ll be okay. Junhui almost lets out a sigh of relief when the song comes to an end, his vision darkening because the lighting is turned off for dramatic effect.

Yet, the sound of his heartbeat can’t be louder to his ears as he sees you fall down just in time the camera switches from you to your maknae, your leader catching you by her arms as you limply stay still.

His members subtly throw him concerned glance, worried and confused. Junhui stays still, his body tense with worry and shock from what he’s just witnessed. Five minutes later, when Seungcheol tells him to go to the restroom, he doesn’t reject the offer.

“Oh, Jun,” your leader greets him as she sees him by the door. “She’s… she’s conscious but she’s still laying down.”

He just nods, following her in with his heartbeat still ringing through his ears.

“Hi,” you greet him weakly as he catches your eyes. There’s a staff holding a fan to your face, another one massaging your overworked legs. “I’m sorry?”

Junhui doesn’t even know what to say, he whispers a thanks when the staffs leave you both for privacy, taking the seat near your head. His hand moves to caress your head, he really wishes the situation is as easy as telling you he’s told you so and he can move on with a laugh. But it’s not. You’re laying weakly there and he has to go back in a moment.

“Did you get a bed rest notice?” he asks instead, his fingers softly waving through your hair.

“For a few days, yeah,” you tell him sheepishly. “It’s not as bad because I came to in a few minutes.”

“You know that doesn’t make it any better, right?” Junhui says again tiredly, holding your hand in his as he drops a careful kiss there.

“This won’t happen again, I promise,” you say first. You know Junhui’s worried sick and he’s trying to stay calm under this situation. You’re lucky this didn’t happen in your practice room, to be honest. You know Junhui would openly freak out if that had been the scenario.

There’s something unreadable in his eyes, but he eventually nods before he checks his watch again. Junhui leans forward to drop a soft kiss on your head, mumbling into your hair before making his way out right after.

“You better rest after this, I’m going to check with your members if it comes to it. Will tell you if I can drop by later.”

#jun scenarios #seventeen scenarios #jun angst #jun fluff #seventeen x reader #seventeen au #seventeen fic #seventeen oneshot #seventeen imagines #svt fic #svt jun #seventeen scenario #junhui scenarios #junhui fluff #junhui angst #wwreq #jun x reader #svt scenarios #jun oneshot

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early20sfailingplenty · 2 years

Text

BIG EMOTIONAL HEAVY VENT

TW; implications of r*pe, unhappy home life, wishful thinking ie the sinclairs, bad parenting, emotional neglect i think????

part of why i cling to the sinclairs sm is bc i dont ever really feel LOVED in my life. mum always makes comments which make me feel bad (most recently, “you make really funny noises when you’re uncomfortable *mocks me for two minutes by making the same noises* it’s really cute” after she said, “the only reason it takes me ten minutes to do your hair but it takes you half an hour is because i dont stop when you say it hurts” or “your hair is really dry” and then tells me what to do about it and then gets pissy when i say i don’t want to and makes it out like i’m being lazy) and her partner straight up doesn’t care about me. i tried to show him something today i was proud of (my study desk layout) and he said, “this is a desk?” and just left and my brother (previously my nb sibling) doesn’t really care either and he suffers like i do and i just dont ever feel loved or needed or wanted in my home life.

since i was 15 when i found out that i wasnt made under nice circumstances (you know what i mean) i’ve tried so so hard to be my best self every day so i can make up for how i was made but ive never felt like mum’s proud or like she loves me and today my brother, who’s at his dad’s, phoned up and mum wasn’t even really listening to him and kept eyerolling at me and it’s made me re-realise that she never should have had us and i feel sick and sad and like there’s no point to anything i do because she’s never gonna be proud or anything

and now i’m crying and i just think i cling to the sinclairs bc i truly wanna believe they’d love me for ME. i’d be in a terrible and tragic situation if i lived in ambrose, i know, but if i was very lucky maybe they’d love me or keep me around bc i can cook and clean and i’d be useful and idk i’m just upset and im stressed and i’m scared and i’m crying and i want

bo to say, “oh, darlin’, c’mere” and pull me into him so tightly that all i can do is rest my head in the crook of his neck and he kisses the top of my head and we just stand there like that

vincent to cup the back of my head and bend down to press our foreheads tightly together and make his “mmf” noise bc he can’t get close enough and neither can i

and for lester to cuddle with me and jonesy while we watch one of my favourite films and if i cry, he just sighs gently and tucks me into his side and cracks a joke to make me laugh

i’m just really upset and no one in my house really sees me, i can’t help feeling, and i have to wonder how much i contribute to this situation and if i make it worse than it is or if it IS actually like this bc im always questioning my thoughts and my actions and it is so tiring bc i’m never enough for myself or even for my parents no matter how hard i try. i told mum i only got 4 hours the night before last bc i was up late studying and she said, “you’re an adult, it’s your choice” and YEAH but like ???? that was a good opportunity to say something like being proud???

whether i do or don’t study, she’s never proud or if she is, she never says so i wonder why the fuck i bother but at the same time i bother bc i need to make a good future for myself or i’ll be stuck here in their house forever and nothing scares me more than the thought of becoming my mum. i used to admire her so much and i used to want to be her but nowadays whenever she’s like “you’re so much like me” or her partner tells me i’m like mum, i cringe and feel white hot jolts of fear and i can only think ‘please no’.

idk just since i was 15 ive been more and more aware of how much my mum shouldn’t have been a mum and it makes me feel like i ruined her life so i keep trying to be my best self to compensate but she never seems to notice

and i cant stop crying holy fuck okay that’s enough i just gotta post this, get it outta my hair, then i gotta finish up this stuff i’m working on and if i’m lucky i can go to bed early-ish (before midnight) - gotta be up at 530am for work tomorrow😩

#im looking for some comfort if anyone has any <3 #or some tough love if you think that's needed #whatever you wanna give me #<3

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ghostburs-blue · 4 years

Text

Gas Station Coffee

Summary: y/n and reid are literally oblivious lmfao, classic best friends to lovers trope

Warnings: angst if you squint, lots of fluff! some kissing though

Word count: 3.8k

a/n: i really hope you like this guys!! i’ve worked for the past 4 hours straight on this asjdhnaksdjh <33 this has not been beta-ed! im tired, please forgive me if you notice any spelling or grammatical errors. much love!

Spencer stepped into the bullpen with his favorite tan coat slung over his arm, eyes immediately casting towards the desk where he knew you sat. A small smile played across his lips as he saw JJ leaning over your shoulder, pointing and laughing at something on your computer screen. He watched, entranced, as you looked over at JJ and grinned before doubling over in fits of your own laughter.

He found himself walking towards you as if he couldn’t control his own actions. His feet brought him directly in front of your desk.

You glanced up at him, eyes beginning to sparkle when you realize who it was. “Spence!” You squealed, and it was all you could do to stop yourself from launching at him.

With an amused “woah!”, Spencer’s arms engulfed your frame, stumbling backwards ever so slightly. He buried his head into your hair, inhaling the smell of your rose shampoo.

You pushed at his body ever so slightly, signalling him to give you some space. He stepped back, taking in the sight of your blushed cheeks and slightly ruffled hair. Heat rose to his face at the thought of you looking like this under him-

“Spencer?” Your voice cut into his thoughts, and Spencer refocused onto you waving a hand in front of his face. You smiled at him, pure happiness filling your gaze. “JJ just left, you guys have a case,” you explained, laughing at the frown that now adorned Reid’s features.

“Ugh,” he groaned, pulling you in for a quick hug and forehead kiss before dashing towards the round table.

You stood, stunned, hand slowly rising to the top of your head. Did Spencer just give you a kiss? You thought, astounded. You sat down again, though you still felt like you were in shock. You eventually got to work, though the feeling of his lips pressed against your skin never faded.

15 minutes later, you noticed the team quickly leaving the conference room, everyone heading to their desks to grab go-bags before making their way to the airstrip.

You noticed Reid grabbing his duffel from under his desk, and you gently placed a hand on his bicep. He looked up at you, flushed.

Before you even said anything, he responded. “California,” he whispered. “We’re going to California.”

You tried to hold in your disappointment, but judging by the softness overtaking Spencer’s gaze, you assumed it was showing. It was his turn to grab your hand, and you ignored your heart beating furiously in your chest.

“It’s so far,” you whispered, sadness lacing your tone.

He offered a tiny smile in an attempt to comfort you. “I know, I know,” he replied. “But we can call any time I’m on break, okay?” He reassured you.

You nodded, fully knowing you never call him on breaks because that was the one time he could sit in solitude.

You pulled him in for a quick hug, punching his shoulder slightly as you break away. “Go be a hero,” you laughed, attempting to mask your dread. He chuckled in response before grabbing his luggage and walking away, not looking back.

You watched with a heavy heart, only turning when you heard Garcia calling your name, asking for help with some files.

A few days passed without any contact from Reid. You had assumed your regular position in Garcia’s office, ranting to her while playing with one of her many bobbleheads as she listened and gave you advice as you spoke. It was a comical sight, really; you lay in a chair that you had reclined back as far as possible with a pink feathery bobble in your hands as you spoke, while Garcia spun her chair in circles and gave you advice to your life problems.

The topic in question today was Spencer. To be fair, the topic for the past few weeks had been Spencer. Garcia was sure he liked you back, but you were too scared to make a move or ask him about it.

“Does he like me or does he not?” You exclaimed, frustrated. Penelope had stopped spinning, and seemed to be trying to tell you something. “Like honestly, it’s not hard to stop sending mixed signals!”

You quickly quieted down as you glanced over at where Garcia sat, eyes ghosting over the computer screen and widening as you met the faces of four very amused agents.

Garcia groaned, dragging a hand down her face. “$10 to whoever can guess who y/n was talking about first,” she joked, and the group laughed. You bowed your head sheepishly.

Thankfully, Reid wasn’t there; he and Rossi had gone back to the M.E. to get some tox screen reports. However, JJ, Emily, Hotch, and Morgan very much were there, and were very much trying to hold back their smirks.

You zoned out as you heard Morgan and Hotch discussing a possible unsub with Garcia, instead thoughts racing with what could have been.

What if Reid had been there? What would he have done? Would he have thought you were talking about him?

You shook your head in an attempt to clear your thoughts; you knew enough about psychology to know stressing about something that didn’t even happen was just setting yourself up for failure.

The rest of the day was rather uneventful, though your cheeks still burned with shame every time you thought about what had happened a few hours ago.

You made it home fine, pushing the door open with your key in the lock. You sighed as you slid off the small bag you took to work; there were some extra files you needed to take care of that you weren’t able to finish at the office.

It was nearing midnight when you finally finished working through the pile of paperwork. Your eyesight blurred slightly as you tried to focus on the clock in front of you. Cursing, you realized you had forgotten to put in your nightly contacts.

Stumbling to the bathroom, you placed the tiny pieces of plastic in your eye and blinked in an attempt to clear your vision.

You groaned as the fluorescent lights in your bathroom suddenly became too bright. A hand came up to shield your eyes, making your way to your bedroom. As you fell onto the bed, your phone started to buzz next to you. You let out a sound of frustration as you grabbed it and lifted it up to read who was calling you at this hour. Your eyes widened as you read Spencer’s contact name in bold across the screen.

Scrambling to pick up the call, you exhaled a sigh of relief as you heard a croaking voice say, “y/n?”

Worry overcame you once again, however, when you noticed how tired and sad he sounded.

“Spencer? Are you okay?” You asked quickly. You did some math in your head before realizing it was well over 3 am in California. “Why are you calling me so late?”

You were met with silence on the other end of the line, permeated with the occasional sound of sniffles.

“Oh, Spence,” you whispered into the receiver, feeling your heart break. “What happened?” You asked, though in your heart, you already knew the answer.

“We couldn’t save him,” he quietly cried, and you could feel your body yearning to comfort him.

“Baby,” you whispered, not thinking before you spoke. Your breath caught in your throat, but Reid didn’t seem to notice or care. “It’s going to be okay, I promise.”

Reid was full on sobbing on the other end of the line at this point, and you felt tears rising to your own eyes as you listened to his heart wrenching cries.

You continued to whisper sweet nothings into the phone until he calmed down, still hiccuping slightly.

“Are you sure you’ll be okay baby?” You asked, worried for him and his well being.

“Can I video call you?” You could barely make out the sound of his voice, but you nodded quickly before realizing he couldn’t see you.

“Uh- yeah, yeah of course Spencer,” you murmured. In an instant, you received the video call request on your phone. You quickly accepted, letting out a small gasp as you met Reid’s red rimmed and puffy eyes.

“Could we please just-” His voice broke slightly, and your chest ached for the poor boy even more. “Could we please just stay on call? For- For the night?”

You nodded in agreement, sighing slightly. Reid asking to fall asleep with you over video call wasn’t unheard of, but had only happened a few times before.

You tended to stay awake until you were sure he was asleep, but you never told him that.

So that’s how your night ended, watching the face of the man you loved as he slowly drifted off to sleep across the country, instead of in your arms like he should be.

The case ended soon after that, the whole team opting to leave immediately instead of spending one more night in California.

You and Garcia waited like normal at the office for them to come back home. This time, however, you were a little extra nervous. Maybe it was the video call a few nights ago, maybe it was the slip up in front of your coworkers. Whatever the reason, you were antsy, constantly shifting your weight back in forth between your feet and fidgeting with your hands.

You were in the middle of a staring contest with the ground when the sound of the elevator door opening caused you to look up. A small smile spread across your face as you saw Penelope practically run towards Morgan. You gave a quick hug to everyone else, but faltered before you got to Spencer.

He offered you a tired grin, the eyebags prominent under his eyes.You frowned slightly, sizing him up. His clothes hung a little more than usual on his already lithe frame, causing you to tut disapprovingly.

“Mr. Reid, how much did you eat over the course of the past week?” You asked, crossing your arms across your chest. The members of the team who hadn’t already dispersed laughed, knowing Spencer was in for a scolding.

Reid shook his head, a smile making its way onto his features. He stepped forward and practically engulfed your body, catching you by surprise. “I missed you too y/n,” he whispered into the hug.

The team had a mandatory day off after every case they finish, meaning they could all sleep in as much as possible. This normally meant you would spend the night at Spencer’s apartment, waking up to the sight of his adorable bed head and sleepy voice.

This night, however, was much different. Reid practically never left you alone the whole way back to his apartment, whining when you attempted to remove the hand he had placed on your thigh while you drove the both of you to his apartment (you had deemed Spencer unfit to drive after the long flight).

Even when you fell asleep next to him in his large bed, his arm managed to snake its way around your waist, legs looping around yours.

The next day came and went; Spencer continued to be clingy and you continued to let him. You knew it was rare when he would let his guard down, and you wanted to make him feel as comfortable around you as possible.

The next morning you woke up, feeling more tired than usual. You picked up your usual coffee from your favorite hole in the wall coffee shop, sluggishly hauling yourself to work.

If anyone seemed to notice your strange demeanor, they didn’t say anything. You got through about half of the day before you realized something was wrong; you hadn’t seen Reid at all yet.

So, leaving the large stack of files that needed sorting behind, you set out to search for him.

You had almost given up all hope for trying to find him until you rounded the corner to Morgan’s office. You heard voices echoing, and you could barely make them out through the closed door.

You quietly creeped to the door, placing your ear against it as you strained to understand what they were saying. “But what if she doesn’t like me?” Your heart dropped slightly. That was Spencer, you were sure.

“Kid, you’re going to be fine. Just do what I told you to, and everything will turn out alright.” That was definitely Morgan.

He didn’t like you. He liked a different girl all along.

You choked back a sob as you quickly ran to the bathroom, pressing the back of your hand against your mouth to stifle any noises as you made a mad dash for a stall.

You stayed there, crying quietly, for at least 10 minutes. You thanked the Gods above that you had decided to wear minimal makeup that day.

You attempted to dry your face as best as possible with the toilet paper in the stall (gross, you know), before finally emerging from the bathroom.

Because your luck was just fabulous that day, you practically slammed into Spencer’s body as you were exiting the restroom.

The moment Reid took in your puffy and disheveled appearance, you knew you were done before. You tried to maneuver around him, but for such a skinny person, he was quite strong. He grabbed your arms and turned you to face him, gently lifting your chin with a single finger to meet his gaze. You almost crumpled right then and there.

“What happened y/n?” Spencer asked, voice soft and full of concern. Your mind raced to come up with a lie.

“My uh- my childhood dog died?” You offered weakly, internally beating yourself up. A childhood dog? You didn’t even have a pet growing up! You thought to yourself, making a mental note to get better at lying, especially to Reid.

Something shifted in his gaze, and he stepped back abruptly, letting your chin drop without his finger to push it up. Confused, you looked at him, only to find a cold stare looking back at you. You instinctively drew your hands around your body; you did it every time you felt scared in a situation.

You thought you noticed a flicker of something in his gaze, but you couldn’t be sure. Reid gave you a tight-lipped smile, then swiftly turned and walked away. You were left staring at his retreating figure, extremely confused.

The next few days were, to put it lightly, hell. You hadn’t texted or called him in forever, nevertheless actually spoken to him in person. It seemed like he was purposely avoiding you; you couldn’t figure out why.

At this point, you had had enough. You slammed your pen down on your desk, marching over to where Spencer sat hunched over some paperwork.

“Reid,” you started, coldly. He looked up at you, poorly masking his shock. You never called him Reid, ever. “We’re going for a walk, leave your stuff.”

You turned and headed to the glass doors without checking if he was following you. Sure enough, you heard the soft padding of his footsteps behind you.

You walked into the elevator, holding it open for Spencer to come in too.

When the doors closed, he turned to you. “So, will you finally tell me what’s happening?” He asked, clearly confused.

“Why have you been ignoring me?” You asked, still staring straight ahead. You could see him opening and closing his mouth like a fish out of the corner of your eye. He clearly hadn’t expected you to be so… blunt.

“I- uh- what?” He stammered.

You turned to face him with a no nonsense expression. “I said what I said. Why have you been ignoring me, Spencer?”

His face turned sheepish and red, and he ducked his head as he muttered something. You frowned, not catching what he said.

“Huh?” You asked him to repeat it.

This time, you could make out the words.

“Derek told me to,” he murmured, ashamed. You frowned, still not following.

“What do you mean?” You asked, the pieces not clicking together in your mind.

Reid sighed. “I asked him for girl advice…” He started.

Your eyes widened, and your hand flew over your mouth. “No,” you whispered.

At this point, you both had reached the ground floor of the building already and had exited the elevator.

Spencer’s brows furrowed. “What do you mean ‘no’?”

It was your turn to be embarrassed. “Remember when you saw me crying a few days ago, and I said my childhood dog had died?”

Spencer nodded.

“Well-” You started, only to be cut off.

“That was a lie,” Reid stated, surprising you. Before you could say anything, he went on. “You didn’t have a childhood dog, much less a pet of any kind. Your mom is scared of animals,” he said. You continued to stare at him with your mouth open.

“How did you…” You couldn’t bring yourself to finish the question.

“You told me the first time we ever hung out outside of work,” he replied, shrugging like it was nothing. “I remember things, you know.” You nodded, smiling to yourself slightly. “So what exactly did Derek tell you?” You asked, curious.

“He told me to play hard to get. You know, ignoring texts, not talking to you, etc.” Reid explained, and you nodded. You were going to kill Derek.

Spencer sighed, and put out a hand to stop you from walking. You turned to face him. “Look- I don’t know how to see this but I really like you. Like, like like you. A lot,” he stammered. You giggled slightly. It wasn’t everyday that you heard the famous Dr. Spencer Reid stumble over his own words.

“Spencer, I like like you too,” you laughed.

“Really?” He whispered, eyes hopeful.

“Really, you confirmed,” amusement present on your features. Without a second to spare, you leaned in and captured his lips in a perfect kiss.

You two broke apart after a few seconds; Spencer’s chest was heaving. Whether it was nerves or he was out of breath, he couldn’t tell.

You two walked back to the bullpen, hand in hand and happier than you’d ever been.

You cursed as you pushed through the glass doors, holding a hot coffee in one hand and an unwrapped Ring Pop in the other. You turned and looked for Spencer with a smile on your face.

You and Spencer had been dating for 3 years, and you were extremely content to spend the rest of your life with him.

You were currently wearing his extremely oversized sweater, the sleeves so big on you that they dangled past the tips of your fingers. You were also sopping wet from the rain outside.

It was a cold winter day in Quantico, meaning lots of rain. It was around 7 pm, and it wasn’t uncommon for the team to stay until 9 to finish going through and completing case files.

Spencer had wanted coffee, but you knew how much he hated the break room coffee. Oddly enough, Reid loved your local corner store turned gas station’s coffee. Even though there was a thunderstorm outside, you had made the trek to the store to pick up a steaming cup of joe (and a Ring Pop for yourself).

The beautiful sounds of pure laughter fell upon your ears as your gaze rested upon your very own Spencer Reid. His face was stretched into a wide grin as he gazed at you.

You made your way over to him before he grabbed the edge of your (well, technically his) sweater and pulled you towards him.

“I got coffee,” you waved the hot cup tantalizingly in front of his face, prompting him to lean in and kiss you deeply.

“I love you,” he whispered against your lips, and you felt yourself smile.

“I know,” you whispered back teasingly. You placed the coffee and Ring Pop down on his desk. Immediately, Reid pulled you into a warm embrace.

You two stayed like that for who knows how long, simply enjoying each other’s presence as you buried your head into his collarbone. He held you oh so tight against his chest, as if he was your shield against the evils of the world.

You leaned up and began to pepper his face with kisses, making him squirm and laugh slightly. You were glad the rest of the team was sitting elsewhere to finish their papers.

You suddenly noticed Spencer pull back from you, lifting you up and placing you on the chair he was sitting on.

You closed your eyes, frowning at the loss of your personal heater. Opening your eyes, you were surprised to see Reid wasn’t in front of you.

Looking down, you could feel your heart start racing.

Spencer was on one knee in front of you, a stupid grin on his face. Instead of a ring, he held your untouched Ring Pop in his hands, cradling it as if it were made of glass.

You gasped, eyes filling with tears.

“These past 3 years have been the best of my entire life, y/n,” his voice cracked slightly as tears streamed down his face. “I know this is a Ring Pop and this is out of the blue and you’re probably extremely unprepared-”

“Shut up,” you cut him off. He looked up at you in surprise. “What?” He asked.

“Shut up,” you repeated. You slowly pulled yourself off the chair, kneeling down to be at eye level with him. You threw your arms around his neck and pulled him in for a deep kiss, one that you hoped would explain everything.

Your salty tears mixed together, creating a briny taste as your tongues clashed.

Spencer broke apart first, gasping for air slightly. “Is that a yes?” He asked, breathlessly.

You grinned, leaning back in. “Yes,” you whispered against his lips.

Reid slipped the candy onto your finger, making you giggle. “I can’t believe this is happening,” you laughed, pure joy flowing in your veins.

“Me too,” Reid admitted, causing you to kiss him once more.

A loud thud followed by a scream echoed throughout the room, causing the two of you to jump apart and look around, alert and ready.

Garcia stood at the entrance to the bullpen, a mess of files laying scattered at her feet. Her eyes darted between the “ring” on your finger to the amused look on your guys’ faces, causing you to laugh loudly.

You held your hand up, pointing to the ring, shaking it slightly. “I’m getting married!” You squeal.

Penelope matches your energy, running up to give you a hug. The sound of footsteps rings through the large room, causing you all to look up.

“We heard a scream,” Morgan explained, worry covering his features. You laugh, once again pointing to your ring.

“I’m going to be a married woman!” You exclaim. Suddenly, you and Spencer were both being bombarded with hugs, and “congratulations!” resounding in the air. Rossi clapped Reid’s back with a “so, a Ring Pop, huh?”, causing you all to laugh.

You looked up at Spencer’s face, smiling to yourself.

And I wouldn’t have it any other way, you thought to yourself.

#spencer reid #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid x reader #reader x spencer reid #bau x reader #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid angst #spencer reid fanfic #criminal minds #criminal minds fanfiction #cm #criminal minds fandom #y/n #reader #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid x you #roo’s fics

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kpopsickies · 2 years

Text

Exam Fever

~based on true events~

sickie: Huening Kai

caretakers: Yeonbin

(also this is my first sickfic AU basically are Yeonbin Hueningkai´s parents, Kai is 15, both Yeonjun and Soobin are dad)

Yeonjun p.o.v

7:00 AM

¨Kai, wake up, time for school, you have your science exam today¨

¨alright dad, Im up, Im up¨ He muttered, before doubling over is a harsh coughing fit ¨you alright kiddo¨

¨yep!¨ My dad instincts kicking in I placed my hand on his forehead. He huffed and shoved my hand off. ¨dad stop it, Im fine, I need to get to school, I cant miss this exam¨

¨If you start feeling worse you need to come home alright bud¨

¨alright dad¨

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Time skip to 2nd period

Kai p.o.v

¨Kai, are you alright?¨ I heard someone ask, I raised my head off the desk and was face to face with my teacher.

¨yeah, yeah, Im alright just tired¨ my teacher looked unsure, ¨youre really pale¨ she said looking concerned, she placed her hand on my forehead.

¨alright Kai, to the main office right now¨

¨wha-Hatchu-hah-ah-ahatchu-¨

¨bless you Kai, now I mean it, you have a a fever, you need to go home¨

¨But our science test¨

¨You can make it up when you get back, now head on down to the main office, Ill call them to let them know you're coming¨ I nodded standing up, feeling lightheaded I staggered slightly. I made my way to the office. The secretary looked up at me. ¨Hey Kai, I just phoned your dad, he´s on his way¨

¨Thanks Mrs. Kim¨ she gestured for me to sit down.

After waiting for a few minutes my dad came in. ¨Hello Mr. Choi, Kai, your dad is here¨ I stood up from the chair and walked over to him. ¨hey kiddo¨ he ruffled my hair taking my bag from me¨

Once in the car he turned to me. ¨I cant miss work, so Im going to have you come in with me and rest on the couch in my office, once dad gets off work he is going to pick you up and take you home¨

¨ok dad¨ I said leaning against the door of the car. I had almost fallen asleep when my nose tingled with an obnoxious itch. I scrubbed at it, ¨hey dad?¨

¨whats up?¨

¨do we have any tissues?¨

¨there might be some paper towels in the back¨

I searched the back and thankfully found what I was looking for, after blowing my nose the itch only grew.

¨h-hah-ah-hAtchu-Atchu-HaTcHu-HaTCH-¨ I sniffled a blew my nose again, feeling shy at the volume, especially with my dad right next to me.

¨you alright kid?¨

¨yeah, Im *sniffle* Im fine¨

when we got to his office he reached over and placed his hand on my forehead, ¨alright buddy lets get you inside so you can lay down, leave your backpack in here, you can get it later¨

I followed him inside, ¨Hello Yeonjun

¨Hello Mrs. Lyn¨

¨is this your son?¨

¨yes, this is Kai¨

¨hello Kai, how are you?¨

¨Im good how are you¨

¨Im doing well, nice to meet you¨ My dad turned to me, ¨why dont you go to my office and lay down, I have a meeting but your dad will be here to pick you in like 20-30 minutes¨

¨thanks dad¨ I left

Yeonjun p.o.v

¨Is he alright?¨

¨hes out sick from school and my husband and I were both working so hes hanging here until his dad can pick him up¨

¨poor kid¨

~time skip~

Kai p.o.v

I must have fallen asleep because the next thing I knew my dad was shaking my arm.

¨hey sicko¨

¨hey dad¨

¨ready to go home¨ I nodded rubbing my sore throat.

The two of us went out to the car.

¨I know you're tired but buddy but I need you to stay awake, youre too tall for me to carry inside.¨ I nodded, coughing a few times.

Once we got home I went straight to bed, only waking up when dad came in a few hours later.

¨hey buddy, I have some medicine for you to take¨

¨thanks dad¨ I said taking the pills and the water from him.

¨How are you feeling kiddo?¨

I shrugged. ¨not great¨ I muttered rubbing my nose. ¨hAtchU-hah-ah-haTchU¨

¨bless you¨

¨thanks¨ I said taking using another tissue, and tossing it into my overflowing trash can.

¨hey dad¨

¨whats up Kai?¨

¨I dont feel good¨

¨yes I know, thats why you're at home¨ he ruffled my hair.

¨the best thing you can do is sleep¨

¨ugh you always say that¨

¨its true, now get some rest¨

¨yes dad¨

#tomorrow x tomorrow #hueningkai #yeonbin

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quietmyfearswith · 3 years

Text

new year’s day ; andy barber x fem!reader

status — completed oneshot

word count — 3,960 words

warnings — swearing, mentions of active sex life, SMUT, degradation, sir kink, choking, oral smut (receiving), fingering, unprotected penetrative sex (pls use protection), slapping, name calling, drinking champagne off of one’s body, fluff at the end?? porn without plot lol

pairing — andy barber x fem!reader

a/n — HAPPY NEW YEAR! im still high on my andy feels so yeah,, lmk what yoou think!

masterlist

“Fuckin’ hell my eyes hurt,” Y/N groaned out as she rubbed her palms on her eyelids, as if she was massaging the stress away. Rose could only chuckle at her friend’s distress, “Well I did warn you about how you shouldn't have gone to work today; you deserve to take a break once in a while you know?”

Cracking her knuckles once she was done rubbing her eyes, Y/N retorted, “Well it’s not like I had any New Year’s Eve plans so I decided why not go to work?” As she continued to torment her eyes with the light emitted from her desktop. Being her only real friend at the workplace, Rose took it as a responsibility to look after her; for she knew how she wasn’t really close with her family and her other closest friends were on the different side of the country. “Hey, I invited you to that party me and Agnes are going to!”

Tearing her straining eyes away from the screen, Y/N gave the brunette a pointed look, “You mean to say you invited me to party where I don’t know anyone but you and your girlfriend; which definitely guarantees that you’ll both leave me alone so you can fuck.”

Rose didn’t find it in herself to deny her allegation or defend her and her girlfriend’s active sex life; instead she could only give her a sheepish look as she joked, “Guess you’ve been spending too much time with Mr. Barber since you’re incredible at drawing conclusions and noticing patterns huh?” Seeing how much time she had spent with the mentioned lawyer over the past year, Y/N couldn’t help but nod and agree with her.

The soft chime of Rose's Favorite song rang and a cocky, “See! Can’t even wait an hour before you two get to be together,” was quickly being hushed by her friend. “Okay you have a point, we have a high sex drive — but can you blame us? And I need to leave early, stupid bitch burnt herself as she was baking.”

Chuckling without tearing her eyes away from the documents in front of her, Y/N greeted, “Yeah, yeah; don’t need to rub it in. Happy New Year’s Eve, babe.” Before heading to Mr. Barber’s office to sweetly ask to leave early, Rose went to where Y/N was seated and let their cheeks touch as their way of bidding adieu.

Andy was more than generous to allow Rose to leave the office early, “Go ahead and enjoy, you deserve it for being one of the few ones who chose to come in today,” He told her smiling form. Once she left his office, he loosened his tie and undid the top button of his button down shirt and let out a loud groan. Usually, this time last year he would be rushing to go home — if ever his work demanded his presence — in order to celebrate the New Year’s with his family. But now as he mourns the family he once had and lost it as his son was brutally killed by his ex-wife that had gone insane in disbelieving her son’s innocence was now serving prison for her crimes, he had nowhere to be.

After a couple of hours filled with silence and burying his head with paperwork, Andy noticed how there was a soft, melodious hymn coming from the other side of the office. The lawyer wasn’t necessarily alarmed, but he was curious about who was left working since there had only been 7 other people who decided to come in to work today; and to his knowledge they should have left by now.

He decided to check out who was left — but it really was an excuse to stretch his long, lean legs as he felt them cramping up a bit from being seated for too long — and was surprised to see the most diligent employee he’s ever met in his years of practicing law, “Ms. Y/N, what are you still doing here?”

Hearing his deep voice snapped her out of her concentration; seeing her boss in his less than organized state had her taken aback, “Oh Mr. Barber, I’m just doing some work on the Richards case.” Looking at the watch on his left wrist, he took note how it was a mere 15 minutes before the new year dawned on them. “No plans for the new year then?”

Deciding to test the waters she cracked a joke, “Are you talking about the holiday or the actual year? Because I have no plans for both.”Covering up her remark with a nervous chuckle, she was glad to see the older man wrinkle his eyes as he laughed out loud, “Well that makes the two of us; why don’t we grab a drink in my office?”

Eyes going wide and gasping silently, Y/N was pleasantly surprised at his offer but nevertheless nodded in agreement. Quickly shutting off her desktop, she moved out of her chair and decided to leave her footwear and floral kimono by her desk as she somewhat felt restricted by the light cloth. As she entered his post, she settled herself on the gray sofa he had placed near the office’s wall. Grabbing a bottle of champagne and a couple of glasses, Andy sat beside her then poured them a drink.

“Never pegged you as a champagne guy, Mr. Barber,” She thanked him as he handed her a glass which she took a sip of; letting out a small moan of appreciation at the taste, the sound causing Andy to cross his right leg on top of the left in an effort to conceal his erection. “Please, call me Andy,” He cleared his throat as he took a sip of the liquor, “And whiskey and bourbon are my usual choices of poison; but since it’s the New Year, figured this was more appropriate.”

Y/N surprised the man beside her by drinking all of the champagne in one go and placed the now empty glass on the coffee table in front of them before turning to his gobsmacked expression and giggled, “Sorry, really need that one.” With his hooded eyes watching her intently, he drank some of his before answering, “Don’t be Y/N, it was quite a show.”

She could feel her wetness dampen the panties she wore with how good her name sounded as it left his lips, “Don’t think I ever heard you call me by my first name before.” Worried he crossed the line he was quick to fumble out an apology; but quickly stopped as he felt her hand on his thigh, “It’s okay, I’m not mad or anything. I really like it, actually,” She trailed off once she noticed how he seemed to have let out a quiet, but aroused purr. Tilting her head to the side with an amused expression plastered on her face, “You alright, Andy?”

Years of practicing law and appearing in courtrooms taught him not to lose composure; but with a simple touch and mention of his name had Andy forgetting how to remain calm and collected. But can you fucking blame him when the girl who walks around with so much grace and confidence — who also happens to be the subject of his filthy fantasies — is so close to him that he can almost feel her warmth piercing through his long-sleeved shirt. In that moment, he wasn’t sure if it was a wise or dumb decision to discard his suit jacket, but as their arms touched and he felt a surge of electricity run through his veins, he thought of himself as a fucking genius.

“I am, yeah,” Deciding to test the waters, he grabbed her hand that rested on her thigh and intertwined their fingers together; when she made no attempts at removing her hand from his he smirked, “Correct me if I’m wrong, but something tells me you want more than just this champagne I offered.”

Feeling her inhibitions disappear, she gave him a smirk of her own as she untangled her hands from his, “Well, I do want some more champagne,” Her finger was now tracing his lips as she moved to sit closer until she was now straddling his lap, “Maybe taste it from your lips?”

Silently, Andy brought the glass to his lips and downed the remaining sparkling drink; his free hand settled itself on the back of her neck, pulling her close to him until her lips touched his. As he bit her bottom lip, she opened her mouth and moaned out loud as she felt the alcoholic beverage enter her mouth. Both her hands caressed his bearded cheek as she drank up every last drop that he offered her. Groaning out loud when his mouth was now devoid of the drink, he let his tongue enter her mouth and asserted his dominance; something she willingly conceded to him. His hand on her neck traveled lower and rested on her bum, squeezing the soft flesh which emitted more moans from her.

“Been dreaming about this for so long,” His staff silently, mindlessly let out as she kissed him desperately. “Is that so?” He asked once he broke away their kiss, Y/N whined at the loss of his lips and confused with his question. Chuckling at her groggy state he squeezed both her cheeks with one hand, forcing her to focus on him and answer his question, “You said you’ve been dreaming about this, baby. Is that what you daydream about at work? Me fucking you so hard your dumb brain can’t even think straight?”

Letting out a pathetic whine, she could only nod her head enthusiastically, “Want that so fucking bad, sir.” He felt his cock harden even more at the title she called him; but he wasn’t even done with teasing her yet. “And that fantasy will come true; but first, stand up and strip for me, baby,” With a soft smack on her cheek, she stood up quickly and unzipped her dress. Andy watched her present her body for him as he poured another glass for himself.

Resting on the arm rest was the hand with the sparkling champagne, while the other was palming his erection as watched her push her dress down to the floor. “No bra? Just that poor excuse of underwear?” He moaned out as he observed the fabric that parts at the middle, teasing the paradise that awaits for his cock.

Lowering her gaze, as if bashful, at his filthy remarks before resuming her previous position of sitting on his lap with her hands moving to unbutton his button down. “Such an impatient little thing, aren’t you?” He clicked his tongue at her; to which she pouted as she stared at him with want written on her face, “I’m sorry, sir. What do you want me to do?”

“Ride my thigh like the slut you are, baby,” He commanded her without even thinking about it, which turned her on even more. Situating herself on his thick, lean thigh she moaned out loud as the fabric of her thong added even more friction. She began to ride him with slow but sharp movements, throwing her head back when she felt her wetness taint the fabric of his slacks, “How does it feel, baby?”

“Good, so good,” Her broken cries turned him on even more as he sipped on the champagne, enjoying the tingle it left on his tongue. “Do you trust me, baby?” Surprised at his question, she opened her eyes to look at him, her hip movements not faltering one bit. Upon seeing how serious he was she answered, “I do, Andy. I trust you.”

With a smirk, he then tipped the glass just above her breasts, allowing the liquid to run from her collarbones and down to her breasts. Gasping out loud when Andy runs his tongue on her skin, following the trail that the champagne took, “Don’t stop grinding on me, love,” He reminded her as his lips drank the liquid that landed on her nipple — subsequently sucking on the pebble-like flesh. Seeking purchase on his dark hair, Y/N continued rubbing herself on his thigh — his assault on her breast encouraging her to ride him even harder and faster.

“Time to drink some more,” Andy huskily spoke out as he poured some more of the beverage on her opposite breast causing the girl to stiffen a bit as she was taken aback by the sudden coolness on her breast. His tongue flattened against her skin, now more focused on kissing every inch of her skin instead of drinking up the liquor. His hand held her breast firmly, raising it a bit so he could suck on it and slurp the booze.

“Fuck, the champagne tastes even incredible on you, baby,” HIid praise got her flustered and she could only whine as she felt herself getting closer. “I’m so close, sir. Can I cum, please?” She fluttered her eyes at him sweetly, hoping he’d show her mercy; but his wicked smile and wink got her thinking she’d be shown the opposite of it. “Not yet, baby,” He was quick to shut her wails up with a smack on her breast, “Sit down on the sofa, baby.”

Even though she denied him her release, she followed his orders without a complaint — working with him provided her a clear picture of what happens when you don’t follow Andy’s orders, and it didn’t end well for everyone involved. As she sat down, she watched as the lawyer placed his glass on the table and reached for the bottle; poured some on her pussy. Y/N watched closely as Andy licked her clit, down to her hole. Without tearing his eyes away from hers, he inserted his tongue in her and tried to reach as far as his long tongue can go. “So good, Andy,” She grabbed onto his hair, pushing his face closer to her. The man was quick to smack her thigh, causing her to press her thighs more into his frame, “You know what to call me,” He warned.

“Sir,” She panted out, “Feel so good, sir.” Pleased with that, he rewarded her by rubbing his right thumb on her clit, making her moan even louder. Loving her blissed out sounds of pleasure, Andy began licking her ferociously; he drank up all of the champagne he poured and all the juices she had to provide. He inserted his left pointer and middle finger in her, taking her aback with the sudden simulation. Her thighs were shaking with how good he was making her feel, too weak to even grab onto his hair and her arms were now limp on her sides, “Sir, please! I’m so fucking close, please let me cum.”

Without tearing his mouth and hands from her he replied, “Then cum on my fucking tongue, you slut,” The vibrations adding more to the pleasure she felt. After a few more thrusts of his fingers, kitten licks of his tongue, she felt apart with a scream. Her thighs wrapped themselves around his shoulders, squeezing him so tight that she felt his beard tickle her delicate skin. Andy pulled out his fingers that were in her, replacing them with his tongue so he can gather all of her juices and drink some of them in. “You taste like fucking heaven, baby,” He groaned as he parted from her pussy, his fingers pushing her juices back inside her so he could use it as lube.

“Wanna kiss you, sir,” Her fingers touched the patch of facial hair above his lips, surprised with how it had her juices. Andy complied, giving her a brief, but sweet kiss. “Want you on your hands and knees, baby. Hold on to the back of the sofa okay?” Y/N couldn’t help but feel mushy with how gentle he was bossing her around — when she knew his next actions would be far from gentle.

Holding on to the back of the sofa, she used it to steady herself on her knees, bending slightly so she could arch her back to accentuate her ass. Andy quickly discarded his clothes before rubbing her pussy again and pushed some of her juices in, before entering in her pussy in one go. His forehead rested on her back as he groaned out, “Fuck baby you’re so tight. Been a while huh?” Anchoring himself on her hips, he slid in and out of her at a steady pace.

Y/N moaned out loud as she felt the back of her thighs meet Andy’s hips; he was thrusting into her with no remorse. Her hand travelled to her breast, switching between pinching the nipple or pulling on it. Grabbing her hair with one hand, the bearded man pulled her so her back was pressed firmly against his chest. You’d think that this would give Andy a difficult time to rut into her but it didn’t; instead it just made him drive his cock in her harder and faster, falling into a drum-like rhythm.

“Why are you fucking touching yourself, slut?” Feeling his breath on her ear turned her on more than she cared to admit and she couldn’t even string together a coherent response since the tip of his dick pushed into her g-spot, causing her to moan out loud. “You’re such a fucking mess that you can’t even think straight huh?”

Nodding pathetically was all the response Y/N could offer as she clawed on to Andy’s toned arms; the lawyer then decided to go all the way with his fun by wrapping his big hand around her neck, applying gentle pressure. “You don’t mind this do you, sweetheart?” Shaking her head no, Andy then smiled as he put more force on the sides of her neck as he rammed his cock in her until the tip of his cock repeatedly hit her bundle of nerves that made tears leave her eyes with how good everything felt. The other hand that wasn't wrapped around her throat then lowered itself on her clit, rubbing the hardened nub.

“If only you knew how hard you got me every time you came to work with a tight skirt or pants,” He breathed out against her ear, tickling her with his breath, “Giving me a perfect view of the shape of your ass,” And to emphasize his point he thrust so hard until his cock was all the way in and spanked her ass. “Walking around the office with so much fucking confidence,” He recalled the time wherein she called out an officemate for talking lewdly about her — that caused him to jerk one off in the office bathroom. “But now you’ve been reduced to a dumb cock hungry whore for me,” She wailed out in agreement as his hand squeezed her throat so tight to the point she was now gasping for breath as his other hand wrapped around her tit, loving the weight and feel of it on his hand, grabbing onto it to move it up and down his hand.

“Are you gonna cum again, baby? Gonna cum around my thick cock?” He could feel her walls clinging on to his cock even more, making it difficult to thrust in her but he was determined to keep on sliding his cock in and out. “Yes, so close, please let me cum,” She trailed off as he abandoned his hold on her tit and throat and returned to her hips so he could maneuver her and ram his cock swiftly and harder. “Cum then you, slut. Let me feel you milk my cock,” Was all the permission she needed before she dug her nails into his forearms as came with a scream, “Thank you, sir!”

Even as she was cumming, Andy thrust in and out of her; though his thrusts weren’t as powerful and quick. Once he felt her spasms die down, he slid all the way inside her and came with a groan. They both could feel his cock twitch as it released his load inside her, filling her up with his hot semen. Littering kisses on her back, Andy could feel his regular breathing return — as was hers.

Carefully, Andy pulled out of her, “Can you stand up for a bit, baby?” She nodded and stood up from her position, the lawyer guiding her to sit by the arm rests. Still stuck in her post-orgasm haze, she watched as he moved the coffee table away and transformed his sofa into a bed. Grabbing the spare bed sheet, blanket, and pillows he kept in the office — in case he had to spend the night in the office — he quickly made the bed before he helped Y/N to lay down with him, wrapping the blanket over their naked bodies.

“How you feeling?” It was amazing how he had a quick change of demeanor; Y/N was lazily tracing over Andy’s face with her finger, making the most out of this intimate moment. “Feel good, really good. Always wanted someone to fuck me the way you did.”

Her curt response had him chuckling, loving the way she was being open with him and the way she traced over his features. “Well I’m glad I fulfilled this fantasy of yours.”

Suddenly, Y/N felt small and insecure; was this a one time thing? Just something to release his frustrations and a fantasy of hers that's been fulfilled? Furrowing her eyebrows, she failed to mask her worry as she wondered, “So this is just a one time thing then?”

Hating what she just said, Andy kissed the wrinkle in between her eyebrows as he spoke, “I don’t want it to be. I really want to be with you; if you’ll have me, of course.” A small smile rested on her lips as her eyes brightened up, “I’d want that and you. You’re so amazing, Andy. I admire your strength, resilience, and determination. For someone who could easily give up in life you choose to carry on and look forward to what the future holds. It’s just a bonus that you have a thick cock and know how to use it.”

Her small speech had him chuckling and kissing her nose, pulling her close against him, “What I said earlier was true; I love how you walk around the office like you own the place. You take no shit from people and do your job damn well. Plus, I love your music taste as well.”

Grinning at him she jeered, “Wow can’t believe you still sweet talk your way even if it’s not in a courtroom setting.” Andy laughed at her retort and just grazed his fingertips on her sides, tickling her so he can hear her giggle. Once both their laughter died down, their lips met for a sweet, passionate kiss. “We have quite a mess to clean up tomorrow, Andy,” Y/N reminded him as she referred to the champagne bottle, glasses, their clothes, and his sofa bed — their whole situation, really.

“I don’t care,” He whispered as smiled at her, feeling so much lighter and better having been haunted by his personal demons for so long, “I don’t mind doing anything as long as it’s with you.”

Her heart fluttered with his simple statement; she was then reminded of the new year countdown. Reaching out for his wrist, she checked the time and noticed how a few minutes had passed 12. “Happy new year, Andy,” She greeted him with a peck on his lips.

A short, sweet kiss was returned to her as he planted his lips on hers again — quickly getting addicted to her, “Happy new year, baby. Can’t wait to spend this year with you by my side.”

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