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notisanto · 2 years

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— 𝐇𝐚𝐧𝐚𝐲𝐚𝐦𝐚 𝐊𝐚𝐨𝐫𝐮

Fluff/slight anxious feeling/moment with Kaoru to let him know his loved and corresponded… (and kissy moment with Kaoru at the end)

— You’re the owner of a Cafe, which has been going through a rough time. Curiosity is a very strong feeling, specially when a man with a incredible white suit stars coming around to the place. Curiosity killed the cat, they say! Would you get involved with him?

(This is how I wanted to make a headcanon about Kaoru and ended up with a one shot🧍‍♀️)

It has been some time since you started dating this well known yakuza. You two got to know each other at the cafe Kaoru frequently went to, you were the one who would get close to the table he was at, besides the other girls who also gave him the attention (and , but one thing is certain, he would speak to them to tell them his usual without even looking at then, he just played with the Menu or the bottoms of his glamorous purple shirt.

One day, one of the workers who usually frequent Kaoru’s table was late, and he already arrived to ask for his usual.

Being pushed around by your workmates wasn’t your cup of tea to say the least, specially hearing the screeching whispering -Screaming in your ears telling you to go and take his order. Is not that you’re afraid of him or anything, it was intriguing actually! It’s not everyday you get to see someone look so intimidating.

Making your way to the man, you stood at the side of the table, putting on your best "I was forced to do this, but I don’t wanna lose my job" voice.

First, he looked at you, and something felt weird about it, this was not suppose to happen.

"What would you recommend?" He asked while resting his face on his fist, looking straight into your eyes. Sharp, that’s perfect to describe his eyes.

Days went by, and you were now put by the most of the workers at the cafe to take care of the yakuza.

(And it actually didn’t go badly)

You got to know him as the time passed. He leaves very generous tips, and with generous I mean it SERIOUSLY. You even got to pay all your debt’s, of course when this first happened you thought that he might actually drop it accidentally and he didn’t notice, so you waited for the next day for him to appear. You were so nervous, that was a whole package of cash to had in your hands, how can someone have so much money?!

"I’ll never accept back the money or kindness that I give out."

Even by his words, you still tried to give him back the money he left. It was just too much…

You would spend days just watching the cash laying on your table and thinking if it was worthy or some kind of cruel joke, at the end you ended up using it when things weren’t that good around you. And it was just as if he was informed somehow and he would leave the tip again. One day it was not only the tips, sometimes he would ask you to sit with him to talk, he asks about how have you been and some other things to know more about you.

Between those talks you confronted him about the money and he would just lightly snort while looking at you and resting his hands on his thighs.

Exhaling, he seems to think for a moment before answering. "I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable with that. But I do things with a purpose… for me it’s just leaving a tip.

"It’s not only that… I appreciate it, but that’s too much"

He just looked straight at you, almost analyzing. He taped his fingers against the table softly and proceeded to ask. "Has it helped you?"

You searched for comfort while looking around the place, appreciating that the place he usually chose was kind of blocking the view for others, specially to your workmates.

"I would be lying if I said no, sir…" you responded facing him.

"Drop the formalities, there’s nothing to worry about… name’s Kaoru. Hanayama Kaoru."

Since that moment, you made a friend, someone to rely on, but soon to become lovers…

You two talked almost every time he came to the cafe, you actually guessed that he may be putting on excuses just to come to the cafe.

"It’s just that I like the pastry that you sell here"

"Kaoru but you have only ordered drinks…"

At the end he let you know that he would only come to see you. That day was your favorite, thinking about going back in time only to have him say again that it was for you.

One night it was your turn to close the Cafe, you were surprised that Kaoru didn’t even arrive today, thinking about calling him, you had an uncomfortable feeling on your stomach. Maybe something happened? Should I call him? He gave you he’s card number so you could reach to him at any time, you remembered when a friend of yours warned you about him after he saw the card that was in your hand.

"You don’t know who that man is?! Be careful you! He’s a yakuza, man’s got a whole group out there trying to get a piece of him… Do not get involved with him! Gods know what would happen, Y/N…

You really got your doubts, you were drowning in them. You thought about him that he might have a very good position at some company, but not being a yakuza…

Of course there was the worrying feeling in your chest moving side to side, but also the adrenaline making your body shake, and the fluttering of your heart that would take over you while being around him without even caring about his hours out of the cafe. It’s just enjoying being close to him…

Not going further with the thoughts, you found yourself jumping in your place, hearing the door of the cafe being abruptly opened, only to take a deep breath when the well dressed man walked inside the place, searching with his gave around while accommodating his hat (that looked like a version of his classic suit).

The rain doing his job with leaving Kaoru’s clothes drenched, but thank god he was covered with a large black gabardine.

"Oh my, Kaoru!" You walked to him to take a closer look at him, almost searching for any injury. He seemed relieved when he spotted you, watching make your way to him.

— Sorry I didn’t pick my usual today… I had to deal with some things at work.

He said looking at you, he seemed kinda gland, he had those glossy eyes again and that pretty little smirk on his plump lips. You on the other hand were trying to remember if there was enough towels to cover him up, why does he have to be so gigantic?!

— If there was so much trouble in your workplace why did you come? You know it’s okay if you don’t have your usual everyday, besides, trying to catch a cold just for a drink… Is even that good?

You lost yourself at the tornado of thoughts, maybe being around him isn’t that good if I’m going to be feeling this way…

Before you could keep on complaining, hands were placed at the sides of your face. Looking up at him, his face was even closer, his eyes were calm… it washed your body with a warm, feeling so small in front of him. Detailing and appreciating each part of your face, he thought about how beautiful you looked, he knew some time ago that you were holding his heart on your hands, and you take such a good care with it.

Caressing your cheek bones with his thumbs so softly he wanted to spill his feelings right there, but the feeling of you might getting scared of him was painful, but he’ll respect it if that’s your decision…

Your hands were on his wrists, making your way to try and cup his hands, the numbness in your mind got you getting closer to him,

Does he… want what I want? Is it ok? Is any of this ok?

Plagued with questions, he freed you from those insecurities giving what both craved most. His lips against yours felt so sweet, the contrast between his cold ones and yours, flushed together. That big scar that comes across his lips wasn’t even a bother, but just for a second you separated from him just to leave a slow but chaste kiss on the corner of his lips. His breath quicken for a moment, you thought that he might pull away from you but that kiss would not end there. Picking you up from the ground by putting his arm around your waist, you found yourself being at his height, your feet comically balancing in the air only to be pulled again into a kiss.

Your arms find their way around the back of his neck, hugging him, getting to feel the hardness of his chest agains yours, not having enough consciousness to even worry about your clothes getting wet too, too occupied to notice Kaoru’s hat falling to the ground. When the time came to separate, you were just too happy to finally have shown your feelings. Leaving more kisses around his face, a smile growing on Kaoru’s face with each kiss, noticing, you tried to let him know how happy you were right now.

— … I didn’t thought that this was going to end up like this.

He whispered, his voice being so deep that it sends shivers all around your body.

— Is it bad?

He looked at you surprised, only to catch you with that playful expression on your face which you failed at hiding. Smiling, he placed a kiss to your cheek and another close to the ear.

— I just needed a moment to look at you…

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floral-hex · 8 months

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real depressing, probably delete when I’m not miserable and about to fall asleep

Ummm how do trigger warnings work here… tw: substance abuse. Alcohol. Uhhhhmmm just general sad times.

I’ve been thinking a lot about drinking again. Not that I was ever an alcoholic, but… maybe I was a little. I get a little loose with anything that makes me feel good. Long story short, apropos of nothing, I got drunk one New Year’s Eve a couple years back. It was nice. Then I kept getting drunk once or twice or thrice every week for a year before I decided it wasn’t worth it any more. Stopped being as effective, made me gain a bunch of weight, and was just all around a pricey habit. So… I mean, why would I think about doing that to myself again?

Life fucking sucks. A lot. My mom is slowly dying, some days worse than others. I’m so drained and exhausted and I hate this. She’s been in the hospital for about a week now, her second extended hospital stay in two months. I don’t know how to cope with this. I’m taking care of my brothers right now and it’s just so much. Cleaning, shopping, making sure they eat, taking care of them, the animals, everything, driving to see my mom who’s almost an hour away. I’m emotionally exhausted and I feel so alone and scared and to add on to that my hearing started to get muffled today and I’m worried another wave of intermittent hearing loss is coming on. It makes me feel so closed off. I’m trapped. I feel trapped and suffocating and scared and my mom is dying and I’m so alone and don’t know what to do and I just want something that will, even temporarily, take some of that away. I used my last klonopin today and it didn’t do much of anything for me. I just want to get so fucked up out of my mind that I can’t worry about anything. I’m barely sleeping. I’m so tired. I just want to be held. I want someone to hold me and tell me it will all be okay, even if it won’t. I just want someone to lie to me and comfort me for a little while. I’m so scared. I don’t know how to do this. I can do this because I have to. I don’t know how, though. I’m just flinging myself forward, or the world is pushing me forward, I can’t tell the difference right now. I hate saying all of this. I feel so needy. I know I’m allowed to be needy. My therapist gets on to me for always qualifying what I’m saying or down playing or ignoring my feelings, but I feel like such a burden when I complain. I don’t want to be selfish. I’ll suffer in silence all day, I don’t want to add more stress to everyone else. I have to be a rock. I have to be steadfast. I don’t know where to put it down. I don’t know where to rest myself. There is no where. There is nothing. My ears are full of droning noise and I’m in this dark room and I feel so cut off from the world. Like I’m in a small dark box and outside the box I know my life is falling apart but I just can’t quite make out what’s happening. I can’t see but shadows through dark glass. I want to stop feeling like this.

So I’ve been thinking about alcohol. and weed. and whining on some dating app about wanting to make out. I took a vistaril earlier, too, but it really didn’t do anything for me. It’s not an anxiety attack, it’s… it’s the void. and sadness. and stress. and loneliness. It’s too heavy. It’s too much.

I just need to sleep. What a loser.

#might probably most likely will delete this in the morning #then why post it?#maybe for catharsis #and reading this again in half a dozen hours might bring a new perspective to everything #naps and time can provide insight #you can ignore this #you should ignore this #alcohol mention #drug mention #lonely sad boy mention #sad times #hi I’m Ian. I have intermittent hearing loss and my mother is dying. I’m just a big ol mess.#im falling asleep #or I should be. I need to be. I will be.#I have such a hard time making myself sleep #I just want all this free time to myself but then I avoid sleep and it makes everything else worse #I have to get up in 4 hours to get my brothers ready for school #god I need a long hug #I would 100% cry if someone hugged me #also I need to make out and maybe get high but that’s all superfluous wishful thinking #I’ll be good substitute that with… uhhh… chinese food and the daily disappointing wank 😬🫤#too many tags. I ramble. any chance to really talk and I open up and let loose #I’m sorry #this was dumb.

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minecraftdog · 7 months

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I'm really just a little weirdo with too much empathy...

#doggie talk #im falling asleep

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skywewe · 1 year

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Incomprehensible 4am meme

#im fighting NyQuil and reading fanfiction #this is not a plot but my brain wanders #and i jump for connection to connection #pov: bilbo baggins #btw #the hobbit #nori the dwarf #nori son of.... uh idk #im falling asleep

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unicyclehippo · 2 years

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hello it's me! for imodna prompts i'd be curious to see what a potential first conversation between imogen and delilah would look like down the line? whether that's in person or through some weird telepathic situation

imogen has heard laudna before, heard her thoughts, has brought memories up in front of her but they always played at a distance, visible and malleable, something she could comprehend. loud, always, everyone’s minds are so loud. this—is different.

she’s standing in a forest. the trunks are wide enough that she would need ten more of herself, each with arms outstretched and fingers barely touching, to encircle the base of it. and even then, only just. everything is dark and quiet. deep in the forest dark, when the sun is just starting to set and the trees seem to loom taller as the light drops out of the sky and you-know-the-way-home-probably kind of dark that feels like shoulders around your ears mums gonna scold you for making her worry coming home so late mud up to your knees suppers waiting for you on the stove kind of dark. there is nothing much frightening about it; it might hide the path but that’s not scary that’s just inevitable.

imogen is standing in a forest of trees that stretch on as far as she can see. the branches groan and shift in a wind that she can hear but can’t feel and occasionally, in the distance, she hears the clink-clunk of wind chimes. she picks a direction. it doesn’t feel like it matters which way she goes; it’s all open to her, if a little hard to traverse.

she steps forward, clambers up onto a gnarled root as big as she is. the moss-slick wood threatens to spill her out into the mud but she walks across it careful-like and inches around—stops with a tiny shriek when a mass of strings and twigs and shiny things drop from the branches above.

‘you nearly gave me a heart attack,’ imogen scolds, hand to her heart. ‘what is this? you want me to…touch it?’

the wind blows gustily, makes the stringed offering jangle and swing. it was a yes if ever there was one.

reaching out, fingertips grazing strings of braided grass and—oh! a familiar looking seed pod, a reddish-orange—and the darkness shivers and transforms, like a chameleon bursting into colour. trees become the posts of the tavern, mud becomes road, stringed offering unravels into snippets of conversation and the twining path they take. laudna makes a hurt sound as a seed pod drops from a neighbouring tree right onto her head. imogen-of-old plucks the seed pod from the ground and smiles, shows it off to her friend, the colours, the shape of it, like a butterfly in flight. she tosses it into the air and they watch this time as it flutters, the wings of the seed pod turning it gently about and about in the air, spinning it away on the breeze.

‘are all of these trees memories?’ imogen wonders. asks. there’s something else in the woods, beyond the trees, beyond the wind, beyond the dangling chiming memories strung up as talismans and decorations. there is something momentous with her, looming just out of sight at the edge of her vision, that she thinks might be laudna. ‘i like what you’ve done with the place,’ she says, earnest. she’s never been this totally involved in someone’s mind before—doesn’t know if everyone’s is organised alike—but whether it is what she sees or what she feels, walking the knotted paths, she cannot bring to mind any other form laudna’s mind could take.

there is something to it that she doesn’t like. a presence, maybe, that makes her teeth ache like she’s been grinding them for days on end. and as she walks and wanders and occasionally brushes a hand over a memory when it is offered, imogen tries to recall how she ended up here and why. she looks back over her shoulder, trying to catch that shadow-at-her-back in the act but there is no one there. there is a tether of brassy light.

fresh cut grass. imogen knows his magic when she sees it.

a tether, a mind, diving deep. a mind laid out before her, unflinching, open to her questing. was laudna asleep? she couldn’t be. some other state, then, that left her unguarded.

and her, wandering the primeval halls of laudna’s mind.

a pulse of light draws her eye. it’s subtle, dull, the colour oozing to the surface of the tree root across from her in a sluggish pulse. there’s a pace to it, imogen realises after a short time. a thump every minute or so. a pulse indeed. the light blooms, noxious green, and fades, trailing deeper into the woods.

the wind rattles the stringed things as she runs after the growing pulse, trying to tantalise her with them. they don’t wait for her to touch, instead spilling out as she rushes past—pate; wrapping laudna in a cloak as the rain starts to pelt down; joy, hard work, joy. imogen presses on, running until she finds the clearing.

#weird mental prompt stuff sorry #tagging my stories #cr tag #imodna my beloveds #im falling ASLEEP

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