#im UPSET. i dont LIKE this decision
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they fucking phantom planeted my boy
#im UPSET. i dont LIKE this decision#this was LITERALLY a plot point in phantom planet. head in hands. i hate it here#i think i am just caught up in one of my weird hangups i need someone to tell me this was a good plot decision#i think maybe ill feel better when they talk about the actual mechanics of this but as of right now im like#this is bad this is bad this is bad this sucks!!!!#other pd fans . if u are out there. if youre following me#jonesy hasnt listened to the ep now so i cant hear their thoughts yet but. hey pd enjoyers. give me your thoughts on episode 22#i think im being stupid about it#jrwi spoilers#<< for jonesy to block#reaction time#jrwi prime defenders#prime defenders liveblog
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“Regulus would be proud of us,” James whispered quietly to no one in particular, still gripping onto the painting like a life raft.
— Tender Curiosities, Baby! @otrtbs
#ive thought about this scene for so long it just took me forever to draw cause once again the anatomy of cars is the bane of my existence#like originally i wanted evan and barty holding hands to be visible to have the contrast of sad lonely james and sad not lonely rosekiller#but alas cars wont allow it#ahb just still has my entire heart you dont get it#i have a none blurry rosekiller and a just james in front of blue with stars version of this but i think ill only put them on insta...#tender curiosities baby#art heist baby#james potter fanart#james potter#jegulus#rosekiller#rosekiller fanart#marauders#marauders fanart#evan rosier#barty crouch jr#jegulus fanart#jegulus fanfiction#fic: ahb#art heist baby!#mine#my art#hp#ahb#(sneaky end notes: i do have to admit i am not too pleased with evan and barty but this was my first time drawing them)#(so i couldnt figure it out quite yet hency why they look a little. less efforty...)#(also the snake ring is the same design that i drew for chapter 34 of ahb in my little chapter illustrations for my typeset)#((nvm i just checked back and i am fully lying here i used a different one for my typeset and now im vaguely upset oops)#(i shouldnt make decisions only half awake im going to think about this for too long now i am sad))#((like suddenly i was like. hold up. i had a different design there didnt i... it was an open ring goddamnit))
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seeing people's takes about the whole watcher situation is just a bit.... mind-boggling.
i think the apology they posted was good in the sense that they admitted to fucking up and walked back on their decision, and i think the model they've settled on now is a lot more reasonable (having content be released earlier for those who choose to subscribe), but like.... that doesn't mean that no one should've ever been mad at them in the first place???
like seriously, why does it seem like people are looking at a "good" apology and thinking "huh! they sure did apologize well! i guess that means that it was ridiculous for people to be mad in the first place! no one should have ever complained!!". if no one complained, they wouldnt have walked back their decision! they would've kept going with their dumb completely paywalled option!
and thats not even getting into the fact that their financial woes seem to come from completely mismanaging their money - hiring people when they can not afford to and spending more money on "high quality productions" when they cant afford to.... these are core issues that im not sure will be completely fixed by this? but idk.
also, this situation i think has really helped my own self come to terms with the fact that i do not enjoy many aspects of their content. i sorta already knew that considering i can not remember the last ghost files video i watched because i find that shit incredibly boring and overproduced, and even things like too many spirits have become a chore to watch bc they decided to extend the Not That Funny drink making portion when i just wanna hear some funny spooky stories.
anyway i guess my ultimate point here is: im glad they acknowledged they fucked up, but i also am not sure how interested i am in their content anymore in the first place. oh well
#watcher#i still personally dont know if i would call them 'greedy' for their original choice#for the record: i dont think the three of them are struggling at all lmao#they clearly are living pretty well off#but i do think that watcher as a company really has been struggling bc of their awful business decisions#so i DO think they needed to change SOMETHING#its just.... yknow maybe next time just fucking ask ur audience about the routes ur considering taking#rather than just surprising everyone with a 'whoops! its all paywalled now!!'#im really not sure how to articulate my feelings bc i just constantly feel confused at the way i see others act online#like seeing people yell at others for being 'too parasocial' in the sense of people feeling betrayed and upset by their choices#when those same people are being incredibly parasocial themselves by defending these three like their lives depend on it#these are not starving artists. they are the owners of a business. a ceo. i think its fair for ppl to critique them in that sense#and to point out things like hiring more staff than they can afford#and spending more money on production than is arguably necessary#even if it is part of their 'artistic vision'
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I dont usually write posts about critical role but this episode did things to me and I have to talk about it right now right now right now don't mind me just yelling into the ether for a minute
the last half hour of ep77 just made me love Ashton (really everyone) so much more. They're being an INCONSIDERATE DICKSHIT and a HYPOCRITE with a MARTYR COMPLEX who makes HORRIBLE DECISIONS yesss gimme the complicated relationship dynamics and the morally gray moments AND THE ANGST. There's gonna be some good ass roleplay moments from this I feel it in my bones and it's gonna be DELICIOUS. Hey ashton greymoore my beloved shithead what is wrong with you <3
And it was such a sweet thing to look at Ashley Johnson/fearne and say "I see you don't want the shard and I want you to keep your characters agency I will take it" but then they were a fuckhead about it!!! Literally did a nice thing in the most fucked up way possible that it circled around to being terrible. I love that!!! Say what you will about this episode but by god is it entertaining. I ship callowmoore even more now that they have shit to work through. I love complicated relationships in fiction I am living!!!!
(i genuinely didn't like the very real tension at the table and had to skip it on Thursday night but! Im excited anyways!!! I'm having the time of my life)
Anyway <3 i love this show thanks for reading
#writing this partly because i knew immediately after watching there would be disk horse. i dont know about yall but im having a blast#like i totally understand that so many people are very attached to these characters and we want the best for them#i feel that way too. but im also seeing posts from people genuinely so mad at not only ashton but taliesin jaffe as well??#I understand if youre upset about what they did but!!! so much Good Shit is gonna come out of this#good roleplay moments and angst and weird mechanics and its gonna impact the plot on the moon and angst and changes in character dynamics#and angst.#critical role#cr spoilers#critical role spoilers#critrole spoilers#ashton greymoore#fearne calloway#callowmoore#cr3 ep77#ep77#i will admit that if ashton had died i would've definitely been so upset and mad i wont lie. like im not gonna pretend i wouldve accepted it#but still. i respect everyone at the table too much to genuinely be upset with any of them for their character decisions#y'know
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Genuinely so curious who Mike thinks is gonna be buying The Cage or the new DCTL GN bc with the way he tweets as far as he's concerned, it's not gonna be:
The queer people he has actively admitted he will never show any representation of in the games.
2. The POC he has actively fought against representing in his franchise. [Who he also mocked for thinking they would be represented in his franchise]
3. The Bendy fandom which has always been concerned with topics of diversity esp in the sense of queer people since its creation. Who he has responded to really poorly esp in regards to the GN.
4. The fans who critique him. [He blocked me for doing so lol]
5. His fans in general who he tweets about like this currently. [He's being vague about why people were mad at him or sent him 'nasty messages' because if you actually looked into why you'd see he was in the wrong. Either way, a very hateful way to speak abt ur own fanbase.]
Reminder while Mike is trash talking his fans he has always treated them rather poorly. The fans who won the fanart contest for Chapter 5 never got their posters actually in game due to it being rushed. Not only was chapter 5 a big slap to the face story wise, but it was literally so rushed he couldn't be bothered to add in the art his fans gave him for his game FOR FREE. [Meatly blames this on a crazy timeline, reminder him and Mike are the literal ceos of this company. The proposal of future updates here is also pretty cruel considering Mike nowadays happily admits he corrupted Chapter 5's source code and therefore literally can't update it At All currently. Because he is a moron]
At least they got to be in Boris and the dark survival, and by that I mean that was the Only game they got to be in so far, isn't that just treating your fans like you love them? Shoving their hard work into a spin off game almost nobody has played or addresses much. [Hell, who knows if with the Lone Wolf rebrand they'll even stay there. In which case they'll be in None of the games, only in the credits of BATIM]
6. The Bendy fans who just generally disagree with him on stuff. Like the new ink demon design where there is literally a public poll showing people generally prefer the old one.
7. The Bendy fans who can see he is actively lying to them. To their fucking faces.
He says this has always been the case, but screenshots and links to tweets regarding the books being canon prove it was not. Does he really think bendy fans are stupid or something? [Unless he's admitting here he lied to Kress when he told her the books were canon which sounds worse!]
8. Anyone who doesn't like the idea of giving money to a guy who laid off tons of employees then afterwards thought it was a great idea to express his anti-union views! Also brag about how good of an employer he was, according to his employees, he was not!
So in summary; Mike is an awful person who has not learned anything from the awful things he did. I will not be purchasing The Cage because, combined with this and his absolute refusal to take any kind of critique or see any differing interpretation of his franchise, I have no reason to think my problems with the franchise will ever be addressed or fixed. I probably will pirate The Cage along with any future Bendy Products [Including the movie] and will do my best to avoid giving it any kind of monetary support. Unless this changes any time soon, I can't see myself making anymore positive Bendy posts soon.
Mike has just managed to make it so hard to speak positively or optimistically of this franchise when he's so willing to broadcast how little he cares about it or its fans. I'm at the point where I refuse to pull any of my punches with my problems with it. What's the point of trying to play nice with my critique when either way the people creating it don't care?
So with this post, I want to invite anyone who feels similarly about the franchise to tell me, make a post or send an ask talking about how all of this makes you feel. It may not change how things are, but genuinely seeing other people share my feelings of anger makes me feel better. It feels nice to see when other people share our same concerns and worries. I'd also love to know if anyone else thinks they'll be avoiding purchasing Bendy products over this.
I'm not forcing anyone to participate in it nor trying to say anyone who doesn't supports mike but genuinely maybe if we can collectively decide to boycott things like the movie, graphic novel and The Cage... It might at least make the bendy devs acknowledge how much they have destroyed their own fandom's faith and trust in them.
The way Mike tweets about his actions like he had no control over why people were mad at him at least proves to me he takes NONE of it back nor regrets it. If you didn't know about his actions and only went off his tweets, you would be led to believe Mike has been needlessly picked apart by fans over things he couldn't control [or in his own words, had his words twisted and taken out of context]. That is not how you speak about your actions if you have actually learned better from them.
anyway, that has been my bendy dev callout post. This is an open invitation to anyone feeling similarly upset about the way the franchise is going to talk about it. It's genuinely nice to see how people feel about this and the more we talk about the more it's likely the bendy devs are forced to address our concerns. I don't think they will but hey, that's why I'm not gonna support them with my money anymore nor am I gonna be nice to them in any content I make critiquing Bendy. I mean I'm also basically making this post just in case anyone asks me Why I feel this way towards to bendy devs/as a way to respond to anyone who thinks I am too harsh in my critique in the future.
As always, it seems the best part of Bendy isn't actually anything about canon but about what the fan's are creating with the ideas Bendy failed to do anything interesting with.
Also the books, the books slap.
#batim#batdr#bendy and the ink machine#bendy and the dark revival#ramblez#bendy and the silent city#bendy the cage#for the record another reason Im making this post is bc some of the only good resources to learn abt why the bendy devs suck are some old#very longer videos and this is a very long post but I thought it was important to document the recent shit theyve been doing alongside some#of the worst past things theyve done bc Mike has been trying to misinform people on what happened but those videos are still great resource#if you want more info n such#long post#mike D#for anyone who doesnt wanna hear abt him since he doesnt go by mood anymore#sorry if this is rambley or emotional Im just so sick of these guys fr dskjhgskdfjghskdjhgkjhsd#I miss when I didnt spend my days stressed about the awful shit mike is gonna say next and how I would have to disprove it in a post later#or explain why its bad to have a cast of nothing but cishet white guys n constantly fight back against any push for diversity in said cast#genuinely its just tiring esp when u see other bendy fans give ignorant or very silly defenses/takes on those things#n then u lose a lot of respect for them bc they are speaking on stuff they dont know much abt so confidently and therefore misinforming#people or even encouraging very bad views on stuff like diversity n its importance#Im not saying people like that are bad people but it is stressful n upsetting when u see someone u thought knew better do that sort of thin#it makes it hard to trust them again on other issues bc u now dont trust they know what they r talking abt!!#like please think twice before telling young artists making norman white was a tough and complicated decision it was fucking not the bendy#devs just think all their humans are white by default and dont wanna change that its been proven time n time again thats all it is#and defending them just bc u like a franchise they made is very very bad!! They are not ur friends!! they suck and we seriously need to#stop pretending they dont!! toxic positivity is only gonna make the fandom an absolute nightmare its not gonna make ANYTHING better#it just means people will be forced to PRETEND they never have negative thoughts abt the franchise n therefore make them burned out#just look at other similar fandoms please lets not make those same mistakes!!#sorry can u tell Ive been having just. A time recently#anyways back to making my queer ass bendy fan game full of so much diversity mike will prolly shit when he sees it DKFJGHKSDJHGKJHSD
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the difference between the triumph in 'i found you!' and the shame in 'you've found me.' is proof enough!!!
#distext#i feel strongly enough abt this one to tag it#the silt verses#youve found me and the god i unwittingly fed-- it was never yours but it was mine and you stayed because you found me.#blah blah the narrative twists to incorporate the listener's hopes and desires for a happy ending blah blah#but the god is not capable of denying the rapture in the journey. it is in fact all it has to offer.#sebastian being unhappy *now* doesn't mean that the god is unfed. of course not. the journey is eternal.#but the lingering doubt would not have been centered upon his lifelong traveling companion. because that *spoils it!*#there is no journey in staying here. staying here is an ending. and the other narrative can't bloom with such a shadow hanging over it.#hope exists. of course it does. it must. but it isn't like. saccharine and revisionist.#not the decision to stay in the place of potential and never see and ending through.#dev calls him sebastian. whether it's an attention check (are you listening?) or a slipup back to formality it is a fuckup.#in much the same socially inept way that 'let's stay here' was such a desirable idea for your lover this morning you dont even consider NOW#elephant. elephant is what i meant.#anyway. meta fodder for the listener (i dont have the commentary but ive seen the phrase 'coin-flip') vs. watsonian social interactions.#........ frankly i dont think that sebastian gave enough of a fuck to pick a winner between hayward and carpenter either but that is just m#i think there's probably something smart to say about how moving forward this season involves nothing but uncertainty#where even following the cairn maiden to an assured ending leaves the pulsing question of when#but man im just upset. gay sex saved the day solved the mystery and now we're going back to get shotgun married to dodge the draft#if you dont have your own insurance plan your spouse's is fine.#sorry. what was i talking about?#right. there isn't a joy in this. there is no definite moment where the hurt- this trauma. the fog.- would pass and settle into comfort.#and among all of the promises and threats. it would only hurt for a moment.#nope! congrats. scarred for life you have to keep on living and difficult conversations you have to keep on having and continued awkwardnes#can't catch me suicide metaphor i'm gay as fuck. anyways#podcast tag#tsv spoilers
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Any men out there wanna pretend to be my bf to get my parents off my case about marriage? I am so so serious right now.
#my mom gave me a really really lonf lecture and upset me because her and my dad want me to start thinking about settling down ans getting#married. again. cos this comes up all the time. ans I reiterated that i do wanna marry and have kids. i know im 26 years old why do they'#think im also not aware of this??? like i suddenly forgot my own age and have my head in the clouds all the time. and i got so heated cos i#said they only believe in that in theory. in reality neither of them have accepted the idea od my leaving home or the idea of mw being with#a man. and they start freaking out if they even find out i talk to them so to say they want me to get married is so fucking naive#ans when i mentioned this and that they're more than ok w mt brothers talking tp women she said that if i wanted to settle down she could#talk to dad and they could “go about finding someone for me” and I've never been so pissed#i got so upset. why does everyone keep saying this to me. as if anyone my dad knows could ever be a half decent man#and the truth is they don't care if im in a happy marriage they've accepted that i won't be they only care that im gone and saving face in#front of family. that's all. it's always reputation it's always “what will people say?”#not once did love come up. not once did shw even imply that i should marryfor love#or that they hope i love someone and marry them. because they're more happy with the idea of me marrying for the sake of it than#they are at the idea of me finding genuine lovw#im not a fucking broodmare im not here to push out babies for the sake od reputation.#and then i said nor being married isn't the end of the world and she said “it's important that you settle down”#and i said im unwavering in my principles. she can call mw high maintenance like she loves doing but I'm not wavering on the#kind of man i want to be with and when i do marry him i want it to bw genuine. because be loves me and vice versa not because im ticking off#somethin from a damn checklist to appease them. and if being unwavering on my principles means staying unmarried then so be it.#my obligations are to god and myself and that's it#and y'know what??? i am in love with a boy already#and yet they don't care that i wanna be in love at all. no im just a puppet to follow a certain narrative in life live according to evergone#else has and that's it.#im done.#and then she tried to apologise by getting me a slice of cake and that somehow made me feel worse.#i dont want an apology. i want to be heard and actually listened to for once. i want someone to ask what i want. to actually give a shit#and love me cos it's me. not cos im some thing to further an agenda. or some toy or puppet that does your bidding.#is it so much??? to just want to be loved in return? to marry and live according to how i want to?? ans not want anyone to make these#decision's for me?#ruined my whole day.
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for all my grievances with tangled the series, one thing i cannot criticize them for is their songs, i mean, sure, not all of them make sense in context (let me make you proud comes to mind), the songs are spectacular, from the vocals to the instrumental, all of them are a joy to listen to, whether they are just incredibly goofy, like the buddy song, to heartbreaking, like waiting in the wings, whether its a solo, a duet or a group, they are wonderful to listen to
#i like the show. dont get me wrong.#though i cant deny there are a lot of flaws to the series n character n story decisions that dont make sense n infuriate me#and i will say imo season 1 is where its at its best. although yes flaws are present they dont. idk. ruin the season for me#but i cant say the same for the later two seasons. i mean. i had fun with s2 n liked the new characters but. a lot of it again imo is fille#but s3 is the worst imo cause the stakes are so high but they spend like 2-4 episodes actually on the main plot#n the rest is just. pointless filler. i mean. did we really need to learn more about fucking nigel of all characters#n i will say i am not a fan of cass' arch at all. i liked her in the first season n most of the second season but s3 just. ruins her for me#i also dont like how they treated euguene most of the time. he deserved to be treated better. he was the other main character in the movie#he deserved to be treated better not put in the back so as not to outshine cass n rapunzel's relationship#cassunzel this it not a critique of you. i liked the ship in the beginning to n i love the poly of cass rapunzel n euguene#n you can ship them to your hearts content. im just annoyed at the disrespect of euguene lol#can you tell that im passionate about the show. i mean. the potential was there but. they didn't do nothing with it.#im upset it couldnt be better lol#anyway what was i talking about#right the songs. the songs are spectacular (despite almost all of them not making sense in the context of the shows)#n are a joy to listen to. i love them all so much that i dont think there's any i dislike really. the songs are so so good#n are really fun to listen to. its one of the things that i can never fault the show for. they're wonderful n everyone should listen to the#even if you havent watched the show lol they're great#tangled the series#tts#strawberry speaks
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yeah so. ok. i cant stay here if its gonna be like this. mutuals dm me and ill give you my discord
#im not doing anything drastic right this second bc i know im upset and thats affecting my decision making#but i really dont think i can stay on tumblr like this.#bg rambles#bg rants#fuck ai#fuck tumblr#i really liked this place man#i really really did
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When your parents keep accidently admitting that yeah, you're the 3rd and really the only parent to your 15 yr brother:
#like I already knew but its wild theyre admitting it#for context Im 22 raising my 15 yr old brother#literally just today I took my brother to his dentist (I take him to every appointment when Im able) and had insurance problems that#required his ssn that I didnt know (dont know my own) had to call mom and this woman#while looking for his ssn card#told me that I should have it memorized- SHE HERSELF DOESNT#and a while ago my father (bastard of a man) told me when my brother was upset that he didnt want to deal with his emotions#you know#like a parent is supposed to#they constantly come to me whenever he has a 'mood' and ask me whats wrong bc they know he tells me stuff#dw I dont snitch but yall#them subtly admitting that theyre not parents to him and I am is getting too crazy#Im teaching him to drive btw and he wants me as a guarian so I can make medical decisions for him
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Ralsei deltarune is literally so sketchy but also have we considered. That’s hes cute your honor have we considered this
#deltarune#decided im gonna replay deltarune and then maybe attempt to do evil bastard shit in undertale#cuz i am just so hyped up after replaying the pacifist route and want to do more but hm#just dont think im mentally prepared to kill these bitches yet#and ive literally forgotten everything that happens in ch1 of deltarune#im halfway through the first chapter and damn lol ralsei really is just so fucking sketchy#like he tells kris that their choices matter of course and he’ll support whatever they decide#but obviously kris cant actually make any decisions of their own and ralsei is like following the hero script to a T#and he gets upset with susie for constantly defying the narrative#i dont think id say ralsei is like the mastermind of this strange universe where you cant make choices#but he is suspiciously conformist like hes very eager to uphold a narrative and its like hes on a completely different planet#also you know theres the fact that hes like an alternate asriel or some shit#i dont trust him but despite this. he is very cute i do wanna kiss his nose#like hes such a satirized version of the pacifist that it feels fake as shit but i still love him#like. we go through the acid tunnel of love. DOES THIS MEAN NOTHING TO YOU#he could kill everyone and i wouldnt be surprised in the slightest and also im squishing his face
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Me when we don't speak anymore by bears in trees
#lizzierants#had a sudden unplanned job interview today. i wanted to cry the whole time but managed to keep it together and now the anxiety has suddenly#caught up to me and it feels BAD the sudden thought of that what if my friends just dont actually like me and they like me purely because#theyre worried for what would become of me if they stopped being friends with me when purely of course id be fine eventually but i worry#that cause im on antidepressants people just think im automatically suicidal when something bad goes wrong which is not the case im doing#good i dont want to die but what if all my friends hate me what if this whole time i have loved them so so much and they just tolerate me#someday my friends will die and i had that i hate that someday we wont be friends even if its decades in the future i love all of them with#my heart that sometimes i feel it is overfilling i love them i love them and what am i without them i am everything i have ever loved i am#overthinking however i cannot stop this what if my own best friend is avoiding me? why am i thinking this? what evidence do i have to back#this up? nothing only for the fact my own brain feels as though i love people too much and they are uncomfortable with it i feel awful wtf#i have learned to keep my emotions from people because i dont want them to worry. i dont want people to do something or not do something bec#ause they think it will upset me i want people do do as they please i want to be open for my friends to share their issues i want to help#and im sitting here wirrying if they hate me so i turn here to shout in the void because the only person i know irl who follows me on here#most likely doesnt read these tags and if you are please ingore this i misjudged your terrible attention span also i love you very much#anyway a few weeks ago i realised my worst fear is no longer death. but the death of my friendship with my beloved friend. and thats fucking#terrifying prospect however if they were to be like yo i dont like you anymore id respect that decision and id be okay because their happine#is the most important thing to me and thats okay but i couldnt bare with the fact that they feel like they had to be ffiends with me because#they have to. i hate the prospect of them feeling trapped in a friendship theh dont want to be in. all the while i feel i cannot communicate#this to anyone because how would i go about it im very anxious i am shaking i am having a bad time very bad time actually im going to start#crying but its okay <3 crying is good for stress and health and its been a while since ive cried so maybe this will help me feel better <3#i will heal and ill be okay <3
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#i really cant get over the fact that whenever my mum does smth that i find hurtful and tell her abt that the only thing she does is get#annoyed and defensive#she cant be wrong and im not entitled to my feelings i guess huh#there was a situation on saturday that made me feel like a was a child again whose opinion wasnt worthy of listening and im still very#bitter bc my entire day was simply wasted#but when it comes to her time being wasted? god forbid. though im the financially responsible one in this family#anyway i realised that i still have some childhood trauma and i really dont feel like an adult at all#so when im over with my loan i think i have to rent my own place and just leave#set some boundaries and be a separate human being with my own problems#this sounds so lame considering my age but oh well#very very upset now. most people start from zero when being an adult and here i am starting from -100 bc again some questionable decisions#were made that i should never question of course#i wonder what i would do in my life if it wasnt for money#a free therapy session is over thank you
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ykw actually I am angry + disappointed w them. I've been pushing how I feel aside and trying to make it my own fault so it's all contained but I think theyve just been mean. and they really should know me better ik I try to pretend I don't expect more from them so I feel less hurt when they do things that upset me but we've been friends for years by this point. like come on.
#just got home and went to put my shit away but my flatmate was in the kitchen and i got suddenly so mad i had to walk back out#not going to do or say anything while im this upset. i need to be a lot calmer before i can even be in the same room as her#like okay. so originally it was just the two of them getting drinks and theyd rather it was just them bc i dont drink. thats cool#it wouldve been difficult for me to join them after work bc travel. and ik theyd done this before just the 2 of them and had fun#i can fully respect that its why i said no and stuck by that decision when she asked again#but to not mention she was taking the day off work and btw i just found out that BOTH of our other old flatmates joined in too#to not mention that they were travelling that entire distance and that it wasnt just drinks it was a whole day out together#thats just mean. why wouldnt you tell me that why did none of them say anything.#and the fact they did the exact same fucking thing last weekend too i didnt know about that at all#like i need to stop trying to justify it. im allowed to feel unwanted and excluded bc thats exactly what theyre doing.#im tired of feeling like other people dont want me around. i know i can be difficult and annoying sometimes. but im really not that bad#and we're meant to be friends!!!!!! like youre supposed to like your friends. and want to spend time with them. or at least i do#and yeah everyones annoying sometimes thats just part of being alive ur supposed to tolerate it if ur friends#im allowed to want to feel like im wanted. im allowed to want ppl to care abt me. that shouldnt be too much to ask for#but the overwhelming message im getting at the moment is they dont want me around. and when i am around them i feel like they dont listen#to me and that they dont really care how i feel unless it directly involves them or theyre responsible for it#i feel like they dont see me as a real person that exists. only a version they have in their heads and they base all their assumptions and#decisions off that version instead of directly communicating with me. and constantly avoid me under the guise of 'giving me space'#when im upset or having a difficult time and most need support from other people. i just feel really unseen#and ik that part of how i feel IS exacerbated by insecurity and depression. like they do care to some degree#but also a lot of it is evidenced in the way they act towards me. mainly my roommate bc shes the person i interact with most#and personally i find the most direct ways of showing u care abt someone are showing up for them. and making them feel seen#and maybe not everyone feels the same way. but thats how it works for me anyway#so to repeatedly exclude me and avoid acknowledging that ive been having a difficult time is the opposite of that to me#which is the point im trying to arrive at... sorry ik ive probably said similar things repeatedly the last few weeks but i feel like its#crystallising a bit like this is the core reason why im so sensitive and reactive atm and why i got so upset by it#idk. not tonight bc im still very emotionally raw but maybe tomorrow if im calmer i should explain that i was upset + why to her#i avoid doing that so often when im upset bc i dont think theres much point in having a conversation abt it unless u expect some kind of#resolution from it. or if you want an apology but idrc abt being apologised to the crucial thing is what theyre going to do different#and i love her but shes very resistant to changing her behaviour bc of other ppl being upset by it. and like i said before she has
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MIKE BLOCKED ME ON TWITTER FOR ROASTING HIS DUMBASS RESPONSE TO THE GRAPHIC NOVEL STUFF!!
grown ass man scared of the 19-year-old queer being mean to him over his public meltdown more at 8.
#ramblez#little white boy sad? U sad bc nobody likes you? Bc u constantly make a fool of urself and show off ur distaste for ur fans? lmao#this is one of the greatest things to ever happen to me imagine how mad he'll be when he finds out the fangame Im making has queers in it#hes gonna have a whole other white boy meltdown on main KJSNFDGKJHFGKJHGKJHSDFGSD#hes so fucking sensitive maybe just get off of social media Mike this never ends well for you#batim#batdr#bendy and the ink machine#bendy and the dark revival#and look Im joking around about this but it really is sad that the bendy devs cant handle this kind of critique towards their decisions#it seems despite the backlash once again they are choosing to ignore their fans which is yknow upsetting#But hey ig if the devs being awful was a dealbreaker for this fandom I wouldve left a long time ago and I havent#dw Im not going anywhere <3#also if anyone else here was also criticizing Mike maybe check his acct to make sure ur not blocked now since apparently#old habits die hard and this is certainly a pattern with him KJHDSFKGJHSDKFGJHDFGSD#also look before anyone asks yes I was kinda mean to him over this but to put bluntly if hes gonna be this dismissive to his fans concerns#he deserves it. Theres this persistent attitude esp in bendy fanspaces of being defensive of the devs#and I dont know why they have been extremely horrible people every single chance they get#and its very hurtful to see how many people would rather tell me to be kinder to the people who broke the heart of a child me when they#dismissed any ideas of putting queers like me in their stories than to realize Mike n Meatly bring this bad attention to themselves#to put bluntly I dont owe them kindness not until they at least apologize for the shit they did which they still havent#mike hasnt even addressed his vent poem in the code of BATDR let alone the other shit he said n did#so no I will not be kind to him ever hope this helps!
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guess who got kerry on the brain again
#sammy says shit#🥴🥴🥴#making vincent a thick bitch was a good decision but it puts me at the point where im like upset bc i cant recreate him#not easily anyway#sims handles weight in a way i dont Like#also when I say thick i mean fat#infact i used to hate it when people used the word thick#but it grew on me idk
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