#if you don't know what pushing daisies is let me tell you: it's the most bumbleby coded tv show of all time
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Another year, another @bumblebybigbang!!!
This time I had an amazing time working with @dazzleyourmindseye on her fic i'm pushing up daisies (and i wish they were roses), a Pushing Daisies AU!!!! Go check it out immediately!!!
#bumbleby#bumbleby big bang#bbb2023#yang xiao long#blake belladonna#rwby#if you don't know what pushing daisies is let me tell you: it's the most bumbleby coded tv show of all time#get out of these tags and go read it!!! go!!!!!!!#my art
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A Single Daffodil || 3
Summary: Getting arranged to be married to your long-time crush wasn't exactly the fairy tale romance you were hoping for. Nor is the dynamic of the marriage, with your husband treating you like you don't exist. But you're going to make this work, whether he cares about you or not. And he definitely doesn't...right?
Pairing: Min Yoongi x Reader
Rating: 18+ minors DNI
Word Count: 11.9K
Genre: angst, romance, unrequited love, smut, enemies to lovers, arranged marriage au, businessman yoongi
Warnings: parental trauma, sibling trauma, toxic parents, unrequited love, explicit language, alcohol usage, yoongi's kind of mean, future smut, body image issues
Author's Note: is this being posted over a week late? yes but I'm in the middle of exams at the moment eek! on the bright side, I'll be able to work on this more often after this week since most of my exams will be done! and then I have about a month until my job starts so I'm planning to grind!! all that aside, we get to see them get married here, so exciting!! yoongi seems to be having second thoughts hmmm interesting. let me know what you guys think! i love to hear your feedback <33
Taglist:
@yoongisducky @kam9404 @sumzysworld @tarahardcore @viankiss @babystarcandylovejk @ktownshizzle @futuristicenemychaos @igot7fairlyoddparents @baechugff @pb89nv @peachytokki @ratherbfangirling @themwordsblog @daisies-and-dandelionpuffs @kimmalik @honeyypages @captainchrisstan @khaimahfe @yoongibaybee
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You nervously smoothed out the skirt of your dress in an effort to calm your nerves but found little success. The day of the rehearsal had come and in less than twenty-four hours, you were to be married. Your hands shook as you grasped the door handle of the entrance to the banquet hall. Hoseok laid a comforting hand on your shoulder before shooting you a reassuring smile. He had decided to attend the rehearsal at your insistence, citing seeing Joohee again as the reason, though you knew he could tell how worried you were.
Mustering a small smile in response, you pushed open the door to see the ceremony space set up with nauseatingly bright flowers and ornate, crystal-laden light fixtures hanging from the ceiling. The chairs were decorated in satin sashes with gold embroidery and the altar was woven around with glittering flowers. Your mother was standing at the edge of the aisle, speaking to the catering service employee. She was dressed impeccably as always, her commanding presence demanding that you look at and respect her. Your father was sitting in one of the satin chairs, scrolling dully on his phone. Your mother noticed you standing by the door and quickly beckoned you over.
As you approached, Hoseok following close behind, you noticed something at the end of the room. Standing at the end of the aisle was Yoongi, clad in the normal black suit you’d seen him in thus far, with his tie loosened and hair ruffled. He was speaking to his mother, who was adjusting his blazer, and his father, who stood off to the side, distantly nodding along. He had yet to notice your arrival, but you were fully enraptured by him. This was what you had been dreaming of since you’d met Yoongi outside that party so long ago, walking down the aisle to see him at the other end, promising your lives to each other in an act of fierce and nurtured love. But that wasn’t what was happening. Hoseok’s grip on your shoulder grounded you as you approached your mother. You could feel his arm laying across your shoulder blades and hanging loosely, but comfortingly, in an effort to brace you for your mother.
“Nice to see you finally made it. You must’ve been in a rush if you only had time to choose that outfit,” your mother stated, not bothering to properly greet you or acknowledge Hoseok. She knew who he was and she didn’t approve of your close relationship with him, but she knew that she couldn’t say anything out loud lest her image be tainted, which is what you were banking on.
Feeling Hoseok’s grip tighten at your mother’s careless words, you tried to subtly placate him, “Hello, mother. I’m sorry I’m late. Will we be starting soon?” Your mother only nodded curtly before turning away to speak to more of the venue employees. You let out a heavy breath before sitting down at one of the nearby chairs, not making an effort to try and greet your father. It’s not like he’d acknowledge you anyway.
“God damn, you need therapy,” Hoseok whistled lowly.
You let out a tired laugh, pulling him down to sit next to you, “Yeah, but we knew that already. Are you sure you’re up to face these guys? It can be a lot.”
Hoseok nodded, smiling kindly at you, before squeezing the hand you pulled him down with, “Of course, I am. I said I was here for you and I meant it.”
You grinned, having missed his fervent support and soothing touch, “Thanks, Hobi. You’re the best.” Hoseok only gave you another squeeze in response.
“Wow, I’m offended,” came a voice from behind you, “I thought I was the best.”
You and Hoseok turned to find Joohee in a simple dress, hands resting on her hips. Smiling up at her, you nodded, “You know you’re in a league of your own. Hobi can’t even compare.”
Hoseok scoffed incredulously, “You’re so fickle, how could you call yourself my friend.”
Sticking your tongue out at him, you leaned back in your chair with Joohee joining, sitting on your other side. Your eyes drifted back to Yoongi, and you startled, finding him looking right back at you. He casually shifted his gaze back to his mother, who was still speaking to him, not sparing you another glance.
“So, that’s him?”
You turned towards Hoseok, whose gaze was pointed at Yoongi’s form. You nodded, “Yeah, that’s him. My…fiance.”
Hoseok studied your sullen form for a moment before grabbing your shoulders and giving you a friendly squeeze, “At least he’s hot!”
Joohee and you laughed at his antics before hearing the large, wooden doors to the entrance open once more. A group of handsome men entered, about four, only one of whom you recognized as Joohee’s older brother. The group approached, laughing together while walking towards Yoongi. Joohee stood, shouting Seokjin’s name, calling him over to your small group. Kim Seokjin smiled at the sight of his sister before breaking off from the group, one of the men following after, while the others continued to Yoongi.
“Hey, Joo, how’s it going,” Seokjin smiled easily, ruffling his sister’s hair. She swatted at him before answering, “Good, but mom’s been on my case lately to come home.”
You looked on in envy, wishing you had a similar, friendly relationship with your own brother. Kyungsoo was nice enough to you, when he cared to acknowledge you. He had been primed by your parents to take over their company since he was young, but they’d made sure that the two of you had stayed competitive academically. Even though you were younger, you tended to do better in your studies, something your parents never let Kyungsoo forget. As a result, he’d grown extremely distant with you and you rarely spoke now. Actually, you weren’t even sure if he was coming to the wedding.
“There’s the bride-to-be! How are you feeling,” Seokjin’s voice boomed, snapping you out of your daze.
You smiled politely at him, “Hi, Jin oppa, it’s nice to see you. I’m feeling alright, as well as I can.”
Seokjin nodded sympathetically, “I know Yoongi hasn’t been the best, but give him some time to adjust. If he’s still an ass after that, let me know and I’ll beat him up.”
You laughed as he puffed out his chest and raised an arm to display his muscles. Joohee rolled her eyes before punching him lightly in his side, “Oppa, no one wants to see that. Here, let me introduce you to Hobi.”
Hoseok stood to greet the older man, no longer obstructing your view of the other man who had followed Seokjin out of the group earlier. He was quite tall, though not as tall as Seokjin, and well built, with tattoos flowing down his hands, curling around the small wrinkles of his fingers. His shaggy black hair framed a boyish face that wore a polite smile. Why did he seem so familiar?
“Jeon Jeongguk,” you blurted out, almost stumbling to stand and confirm your suspicions. He turned to face you, with you now realizing that it was, in fact, the same streamer you’d been following for the past few years. You hadn’t recognized him immediately without his usual garb of sweatshirts, headphones, and piercings littering his face.
“Hi, you’re Seo Y/N, I assume,” he smiled, eyes crinkling. Feeling slightly starstruck, you nodded dumbly.
“Oh yeah, I forgot to mention, Kook, she’s a big fan of yours. She watches your streams all the time,” Joohee interjected. Your gaze shot towards her, sending her a silent message.
You know him? And you didn’t tell me?
Joohee only shrugged sheepishly, Sorry, must’ve slipped my mind.
You gritted your teeth, I’m so interrogating you later.
Jeongguk’s voice called you back to him, “Really? That’s cool, I always love meeting fans.”
Feeling your cheeks redden, you stumbled slightly over your words, “Yeah! I love all your videos, you got me into a couple of new games I didn’t think I’d ever enjoy,” you finished, laughing awkwardly.
Jeongguk took it in stride, bashfully scratching the back of his head, “Thanks, I appreciate that. So you’re into a lot of games, yourself?”
Seeing an opportunity, you relaxed, feeling yourself brighten at the chance to talk about your favorite subject, “Yeah! I actually work for O.K. Gaming in their planning team. I’m not really into MMOs, but I like a lot of RPGs and platformers, my favorite right now is actually this indie one from the U.S. that’s been out for a couple of years, Celeste, it got put on the switch but I played it on my PC. But I’ve been branching out, thanks to you! Watching you play all the old Zelda games made me want to get into it too, but I ended up starting with Breath of the Wild because it looked so pretty, the graphics are just amazing! So are the mechanics, I was really impressed with how-”
“Woah, there,” you heard Hoseok, laying a hand on the small of your back, “You’re gonna scare him away.”
You laughed awkwardly, noticing the shocked expression that painted Jeongguk’s face, “Sorry, I tend to get over-excited when it comes to that stuff.”
Jeongguk seemed to snap back into the conversation, shaking his head wildly with a large grin, “No, that’s great! It’s been a while since I’ve been able to geek out with someone. We should totally hang out, what’s your number?”
You felt yourself slip back into a comfortable smile before taking Jeongguk’s phone to put your number in while he excitedly mentioned the games he was thinking of streaming next. Handing his phone back, he glanced at it before looking back up at you, “Hey, is it okay for me to call you noona? I do the same with Joohee noona.”
Slightly surprised at his forwardness, you nodded, “Yeah, that’d be nice. I don’t think I’ll call you Kook though.”
He laughed brightly, “We’ll work our way up to that.”
One of the other groomsmen called both Seokjin and Jeongguk back to the altar, leaving you to bask in the feeling of having met one of your favorite content creators and becoming friends with him, ignoring Hoseok’s quiet teasing at your geeking out. The bliss didn’t last long though as you heard your mother clap her hands and ask everyone to sit near the front. Hoseok’s hand slipped into your own, giving it a gentle squeeze, along with an encouraging smile, before letting you and Joohee join the others at the front. You’d wished that you could put Hoseok in your wedding party, but you knew your mother would never allow it. You were grateful already that he’d come to the rehearsal despite not being able to do anything the entire time.
You and Joohee took your seats at the front, sitting next to some other young women you recognized from your mother’s galas, likely the rest of your bridesmaids. Your mother had been kind enough to let you choose Joohee as your maid of honor, but you knew she’d only allowed it because Joohee’s family was high up enough according to her standards.
Your mother positioned herself at the altar, addressing everyone with a confident tone, “Now that everyone’s present, I’ll let Mrs. Shin go through the itinerary for today.” Your mother then stepped aside, joining your father on your family’s side of the aisle.
A small, stout woman with her hair in a tight bun and a string of pearls adorning her neck took the stand, “Hello, I’m Shin Miyeon, the wedding planner for this event. For today, we’ll start with a rehearsal of the entrances and ceremony, which will be followed by the entrances for the reception and a run-through of the timings for the dances tomorrow. We’ll end with a joint dinner, and then we’ll be done. Let’s get started.”
Mrs. Shin immediately started directing people, the bridal party being the first, and pairing them up by height to walk together. Joohee was quickly whisked away, leaving you shaking nervously, as this was all beginning to feel a bit too real. The thought was suddenly occurring to you that you really were going to be marrying Yoongi and he absolutely did not want it to happen. Sinking further into your seat, you sent an encouraging, but wavering, smile to Joohee who was paired with her brother due to their similar heights. Your eyes drifted towards Yoongi, who was sitting calmly on the other side of the aisle, swiping through his phone with an unimpressed expression. How could he be so nonchalant about all this?
“Mr. Min, Ms. Seo, please join me at the entrance,” Mrs. Shin’s voice called out, making you raise your head in her direction. You felt your heart rate speed up and your hands clench, you weren’t ready for this. Your vision almost seemed to cloud as it felt like a hand was closing in around your throat, and your breath started to stutter. You absolutely were not ready for this. Your life was about to change, arguably for the worse, and you had to spend it with someone who wouldn’t even acknowledge you. You could distantly hear Mrs. Shin calling your name once more but it felt like you couldn’t move, your body didn’t feel like your own. Gaze lowering to the ground, it seemed like spots were taking over your vision. Your breath continued to quicken and you could feel yourself beginning to fully lose control of your breathing.
This can’t be happening.
You needed to get ahold of yourself, there were people all around you, not to mention your mother and Yoongi. But no matter how hard you tried to ground yourself, the control you had over your body kept slipping away, and it only caused you to freak out further. A pair of smart, black dress shoes came into your view and you lifted your head to see Yoongi looking down at you with a raised eyebrow through your blurry vision.
“Are you coming?”
You forced yourself to hold your breath, letting it out slowly after counting for a few seconds, before nodding and standing on wobbly legs. You didn’t have time to break down, you had a job to do.
Following Yoongi and Mrs. Shin to the entrance doors, you pointedly avoided eye contact with your mother while sending shaky smiles to Joohee and Hoseok. You had to get a grip.
“Alright, let’s go through the order we’ll be going down the aisle. Can the rest of the wedding party please come down here?”
You were squished up against the door with Yoongi at your side as the wedding party took their places to arrive at the altar before you. Setting your eyes straightforward, you resisted any temptation to glance at Yoongi to see his expression. You couldn’t face him after he’d witnessed you almost experience a full-on panic attack. Focusing in on Mrs. Shin’s firm tone was an easy distraction, as you watched her guide your wedding party down the aisle and to the altar. Slowly but surely, she made her way to you and your groom, with Yoongi being directed first.
“You’ll walk before Ms. Seo and take your place next to Mr. Kim at the stand,” Mrs. Shin said, guiding Yoongi toward the other end of the room. You watched as he gracefully strode down the aisle, casually stopping next to Seokjin and turning to face your direction. The action made you pause, almost breathlessly, as your gaze connected. However, his eyes didn’t last long on your form, as they slid over to Seokjin and Yoongi began conversing with him.
You couldn’t help the disappointed feeling in your chest, despite knowing full well you had no right to suffer it. Yoongi wasn’t yours, he would never be, something he had made quite clear in your limited interactions. Yet, you couldn’t help but feel a tugging in your stomach, a pain in your forefinger, at his blatant dismissal of you. Biting your lip, you cursed inwardly, now was not the time to fall even deeper for your husband-to-be.
“Ms. Seo, please follow me. You can hold this in place of your bouquet,” Mrs. Shin said, handing you a nondescript water bottle. A quick glance at Hoseok’s form turned to face you had you confirming that he was making fun of you as you had suspected. You brushed off his giggles and stepped in what you hoped was an elegant manner after Mrs. Shin, following her down the aisle.
You deliberately avoided looking at Yoongi’s face, knowing that he wouldn’t be watching you. Did you want him to?
Yes.
You almost scoffed. What a ridiculous notion. What you were in need of was a good, old reality check, not playing into the fantasy of marrying Yoongi for love. As you passed Hoseok, he whistled wolfishly, earning a disapproving frown from your mother. It was exactly what you needed though, pulling a laugh out of you before discreetly flipping him off from behind the water bottle. You felt the tension leave your body at Hoseok’s familiar antics, finally feeling relaxed for the first time that night. Maybe you could do this, after all.
Reaching the altar, Mrs. Shin proceeded to give minor notes to the rest of your wedding party as you stood awkwardly next to Yoongi. You could hear his soft breaths as he waited patiently for Mrs. Shin to address you both, but you couldn’t bring yourself to look at or try to start a conversation with him. Yoongi seemed to be doing the same, keeping his eyes forward and occasionally glancing at his watch.
You felt lonely. You were standing next to the person who was going to be your partner for the rest of your life and yet, you felt a deep and painful distance from him. You could feel his warmth, hear him shuffling beside you, but you deliberately shied away from brushing elbows to solidify the separation between you. Yoongi seemed so calm and indifferent, it made you feel a troubling combination of envy and anger.
Why couldn’t you be as blase as him about this? Why was he so apathetic in the first place? Didn’t he care about you at all? Was he judging you for not being aloof yourself? Why didn’t he want to engage with you at all?
It hurt, to say the least, but the rational part of you annoyingly came to his defense. Realistically, you knew he had no obligation to try and converse with, or even care about, you. So why were you still so hurt?
“Mr. Min, Ms. Seo, please join me at the doors. We’ll run through it again.”
Mrs. Shin’s voice put a halt to your spiraling thoughts, making you register Yoongi turning around beside you. Following suit, you joined behind him, taking a glance at your watch. Only about thirty or so minutes had passed.
You sighed, this was really going to be a test of your endurance.
The cushioned chair felt welcoming, even though your company did not evoke the same feeling. Your mother was sitting across from you and her cold stare made you shrivel into your seat. Hoseok was placed on the far end of the table with Joohee, making them achingly far from you. Yoongi was next to you in a performance pretending this was a willing marriage. Not that the restaurant staff would care.
You scowled internally, lamenting the fact that you couldn’t even eat dinner comfortably. Your mother was sending you cursory glances while talking to Yoongi’s mother, and your dad was talking business with Yoongi’s father, and with Yoongi conversing with Seokjin, you were painfully lonely. You resorted to quietly playing with the napkin in your lap and staring at your empty plate and wine glass in front of you, desperately wishing you could drink to make the dinner easier but you knew your mother wouldn’t approve.
“Y/N noona?”
You looked up, making eye contact with Jeongguk, who was sitting next to you, previously talking to another groomsman with stunning dimples next to him.
“Oh, yes,” you responded, straightening in your chair.
“I wanted to talk to you some more about the games you mentioned earlier since we didn’t get to finish,” he responded, a bright, bunny smile decorating his face.
You felt yourself smile warmly in response automatically, his joy and bubbliness seemed to be contagious, “Yeah, I’d love to. What would you like to know?”
The conversation with Jeongguk proved to be your oasis in the desert of the stale and stiff conversations happening around you, especially between your parents. His encouraging smile put you at ease and made the tension flow out from your fingers. You were grateful that he was so engaging, keeping you distracted from the shifting from the aloof and dominating presence you felt beside you.
Yoongi had remained relatively quiet throughout the whole evening, only having spoken to you when you were on the verge of breaking down. He spoke quietly to his friends, not bothering to introduce you to them, and had barely looked in your direction. Part of you couldn’t deny it upsetting you, but you constantly reminded yourself that this was to be expected.
The both of you had made no commitment to each other outside of appearing as a couple when it mattered, he had no obligation to be friendly towards you. It felt like your mind was going in circles continually trying to keep your emotions in check and avoid crossing the boundaries Yoongi had so clearly laid out.
The thought entered your mind once again, Is this what the rest of your life is going to be like?
It certainly felt that way.
You felt Yoongi shift beside you once again, making you flinch. Thankfully, Jeongguk didn’t seem to notice, too engrossed in describing his most recent gaming obsession with you. You felt hyper-aware of Yoongi’s presence, whether he was right beside you or at the other end of the room. It bothered you how much he affected you, but you almost enjoyed it at the same time.
There was something pleasant about the feeling of falling in love with someone, regardless of whether it was a tragic infatuation or not. The rush of your heartbeat whenever you caught a glimpse of him, the way your breath hitched when you accidentally brushed shoulders, the way your fingers itched to grasp his hand, it all felt so romantic in a way.
Where it all came crashing down was the reality that Yoongi didn’t feel a semblance of the same way. Your spiked heartbeat was met with his indifferent exterior, your hitched breath with his calm and even exhales, and your twitching fingers with his clenched fist. It was detrimental, damaging even, and it was taking a toll on, not only your emotional wellbeing but your self-confidence as well. You were so swiftly rejected by him that it was a blow to your self-esteem. You hadn’t felt particularly great about yourself prior to his crushing dismissal, but you had certainly been in a downward spiral since then.
Too often now you were scrutinizing your appearance in the mirror, choosing baggier clothing while hating the silhouette, and catching yourself while speaking. It wasn’t logical or warranted, but that didn’t stop your overactive mind from whispering your insecurities quietly every day. Maybe Hoseok had a point. You really needed to look into therapy.
“Noona?”
“Oh, sorry, I was just zoning out,” you blinked, tuning back into Jeongguk’s honey-sweet voice.
He smiled sympathetically, something you seemed to be on the receiving end of a lot lately, “That’s okay. Are you feeling alright?”
“I’m alright,” you nodded, not wanting to divulge the cacophony of thoughts swimming around in your head, “Please, continue with what you were saying.”
Jeongguk’s energizing smile made a reappearance, making you relax further into your chair. You let his dulcet voice lull you into a comfortable conversation for the rest of the dinner, trying not to react whenever you felt movement beside you.
“Thank you all for coming, we appreciate your being here. We’ll be meeting at the venue tomorrow at nine, so please be sure to be on time,” your mother concluded, your group standing outside the restaurant. With that, the crowd slowly dispersed, your parents speaking to Yoongi’s at their cars and the bridal parties filing out into respective vehicles as well. You leaned back into Hoseok’s firm torso, letting his arm encircle your waist and his chin rest on your shoulder.
You didn’t often let people touch you, but Hoseok was a rare exception, having broken your barriers down in college, and served as a comforting touch whenever you needed it. It evolved into more casual affection, a similar version being displayed between Hoseok and Joohee, and you accepted it as just part of his personality. You knew how it looked to people around you but you simply didn’t care, Hoseok was a good friend, and you’d be damned if you were going to refuse the little human contact you allowed.
Joohee was talking animatedly to Hoseok about something or other, you weren’t really paying attention. Hoseok’s warmth soothed you, making your eyelids fall in the exhaustion from the day’s events. Out of the corner of your eye, you caught your mother frowning at you, but you paid no mind. For the first time since the announcement, you wondered if she’d finally leave you to your own devices now that you were doing the ultimate show of subservience to her.
Kim Seokjin’s booming voice startled you from Hoseok’s grasp, making him switch to leaning against your car door. You spotted Seokjin’s tall figure making his way over to you, the other groomsmen following behind. Yoongi was also tailing Seokjin, making you stand up straighter and try to steel your expression.
“Joo, Y/N, we’re gonna go for some drinks to celebrate Yoongi’s bachelordom ending, want to join? You’re welcome too, of course, Hobi,” Seokjin smiled kindly. You almost flinched at the mention of Yoongi’s bachelor lifestyle ending, apparently, he hadn’t told his friends about the rules he’d set.
Joohee’s face hardened towards Yoongi, apparently realizing the same thing you did, before turning sickeningly sweet towards her brother, “No thanks, oppa. We’re gonna head back to Y/N’s.”
“Oh, c’mon, noona,” Jeongguk looked at you imploringly, eyes shining, “It’ll be fun! We can hang out more!”
You smiled apologetically as you felt Hoseok wrap a protective arm around you, noting that he was probably on the same page as Joohee, “Sorry Jeongguk, maybe next time.”
Jeongguk shrugged, turning to the other groomsmen, the dimpled man with tan skin and a model-esque-looking man with dark eyebrows and lighter hair. Seokjin furrowed his eyebrow slightly, mouth upturning into a small frown, “Well, okay, but I’ll be taking you out to celebrate at some point, Y/N. Mark the date!”
You laughed quietly, waving him off with an acquiescing nod. The men filed back towards their respective cars, heading to bars or someone’s house, you assumed. You began turning further into Hoseok to face your car before realizing that Yoongi was still standing there.
Pausing, you looked at him questioningly, feeling Hoseok’s grip tighten. Yoongi’s dark eyes narrowed at your intertwined forms.
“Do you need something, Yoongi-ssi,” Joohee asked in a clipped tone. You almost cringed at the blatant contempt.
“No,” Yoongi responded quietly, “I don’t. See you tomorrow, Y/N.” He nodded politely in your direction before turning to walk back to his car, pausing for a last glance at your bemused face.
“What was that,” Joohee scoffed, flipping off Yoongi’s silhouette.
You shrugged, not knowing what to make of it either, “C’mon, let’s just go home. I need to get drunk.”
Joohee entered your car and you were just about to follow before Hoseok pulled you back, making you almost stop in your tracks.
“Y/N,” he sighed, looking into your eyes, “Are you really okay?”
You pulled your hand out of his, tired of being treated in such a fragile manner, “Yes, I’m fine. As good as I can be. I just want to go home.” You felt bad for snapping, but you were irritable after a long day and you wanted to get out of your dress and wipe off your makeup. You turned back towards the car before Hoseok spoke again.
“I know,” Hoseok said softly, “But there’s something off about him. I can’t place it. It was the way he looked at you, especially when I was hugging you.”
You twisted your head in his direction quickly, “Stop. Seriously, Hoseok, I really don’t need to be thinking about that. The last thing I need for this stupid infatuation is to think that there’s something there when there isn’t. I don’t need you putting those kinds of thoughts into my brain.”
Hoseok recoiled before scratching the back of his head and shooting you an apologetic glance, “You’re right, sorry. Let’s just go home, yeah?”
You both entered the car, Joohee leaning forward from the backseat to glance at the both of you.
“Is everything cool with you guys,” she questioned, likely having witnessed the scene outside the car.
“Yeah, just fine,” you said bluntly, gripping the steering wheel. What were you doing? Hoseok was just expressing concern. You didn’t have a right to get so worked up and take out your anger on him.
Sighing, you let yourself relax into your cushioned car seat, turning towards Hoseok who was in the passenger seat, “Sorry, Hobi. I shouldn’t have lashed out like that. I’m sorry.”
“It’s totally fine,” Hoseok smiled comfortingly, “Don’t even worry about it. I know how stressed you’ve been.”
“No,” you protested, “That isn’t an excuse. You were just looking out for me.”
Hoseok laughed jovially, “Hey, it’s fine, I promise. If anything, I’m glad to see you letting out some emotion, I was beginning to get worried that you didn’t get angry anymore.”
“Oh, she can get angry, alright,” Joohee mused from the backseat, “You’re just not around to see it anymore.”
You laughed, feeling relief at Hoseok’s easy acceptance of your apology. You started up your car, pulling out into the street.
“Let’s go get shitfaced in your living room,” Joohee cheered from behind you, Hoseok laughing along loudly.
A smile formed on your face, making you chuckle at Joohee’s exclamations. You were lucky, luckier than you thought initially. Even with everything going on, you felt your heart fill at your friends’ gracious and kind attitudes toward you. You continued driving to your apartment, feeling a touch more confident about your ability to get through tomorrow relatively unscathed.
Your dress felt constricting, but not in a way that a seamstress could fix. Despite your unfounded confidence the night before, standing behind the closed doors of the aisle sent a fresh wave of anxiety through your veins.
How were you going to get through this? Yoongi was waiting on the other side, at the end of the aisle, about to become your partner for life. Except, you weren’t going to be his partner in the same way.
Initially, Yoongi was supposed to walk down with you, your entourage partnered up like you’d practiced at the beginning of yesterday. But Mrs. Shin didn’t like the visual, making her change it to a more traditional style ceremony. Go figure that she wouldn’t think the sight of you and Yoongi walking together
A sick nausea curled in your stomach, making you clench the audacious bouquet, letting a few petals fall to the floor. You felt a hand clasp your shoulder, making you turn, seeing Joohee’s concerned frown.
“Hey, it’ll be okay, I’ll be right there. You can do this,” she squeezed your shoulder.
“Yeah, yeah, I can do this,” you repeated, attempting to calm your nerves. A small voice in the back of your mind whispered, wondering if Yoongi had the same nerves.
The thought almost made you scoff, there was no way. Nothing much in his life was changing other than getting a roommate he had to take to galas.
You knew that wasn’t a fair sentiment. Yoongi was as negatively affected by this arrangement as you were, he was just taking a more emotionally removed approach. Maybe you should learn from that.
Mrs. Shin appeared next to you in a flurry, “We’re about to open the doors. Are you ready?”
You nodded stiffly, knowing the answer was that you’d never be ready to marry Min Yoongi.
Hearing the muffled piano begin to play, signaling the start to your bridal party’s entrance, you released a heavy breath, trying to paint on a passive exterior. Joohee whispered some small last bits of encouragement your way before taking her place in front of you.
The doors slowly opened, letting your bridesmaids walk down before you. You could feel your hands trembling.
Hidden from the audience’s eyes beside the door, Mrs. Shin gestured at you, mouthing that you were up next.
Taking a moment to close your eyes, you steeled your nerves and took a step forward. You could do this. It was just a walk, that’s all it was.
You repeated the mantra in your head as you took more and more steps down the aisle, focusing your gaze on the ornate carvings above the altar. Out of the corner of your eye, you noticed your mother gesturing for you to smile, and you responded automatically, letting a small smile adorn your mouth. It felt hollow, but that wasn’t what mattered.
As you approached the altar, your gaze naturally shifted down to Yoongi, who was poised in a statuesque manner. He looked radiant, the black suit fitted perfectly to his chest and tapered at his waist. His charcoal hair was styled, showing his forehead, displaying his clear, smooth skin. His hands were clasped in front of him, your eyes tracing the outlines of his fingers, and his aura exuded confidence. You purposefully kept your gaze away from his face, not wanting to see the expression that he wore.
Reaching the steps up to the altar, you carefully climbed each one, making sure not to trip over the hem of your dress. You took your place next to Yoongi, feeling him turn to face the officiant. As the officiant began speaking, you felt yourself breathe out slowly, trying to recover from the initial stress. You had the first step done, the rest wouldn’t be so hard.
Thankfully, you could zone out for most of the ceremony, with the officiant droning on in your ear. Most of this was for show anyway, you didn’t really need to seem present. It was lucky that you were facing away from your audience, allowing your eyes to glaze over and subtly stifle yawns.
You barely processed Yoongi’s presence throughout the ceremony, trying not to glance in his direction. He hadn’t really acknowledged you, but it didn’t surprise you. In a way, it almost pained you that you were getting used to his apathy this quickly.
Another blessing came in the form that you didn’t have to recite vows. The attendees of the weddings had seen far too many arranged marriages to sit through another cycle of canned and rehearsed vows. It felt especially lucky to you as well in that you wouldn’t have to look into Yoongi’s eyes as you declared your devotion to him.
The ceremony itself quickly came to an end, and you were forced to turn to Yoongi, making eye contact accidentally for the first time that day. It sent a rush of heat to bloom in the apples of your cheeks and the pace of your heart quickened. It felt pathetic, really, to let him have that effect on you.
You extended your hand as Yoongi gently took it, sliding the cold metal of the ring onto your finger. Your hands felt numb from staying in place so long during the officiant’s speech, but Yoongi’s warm touch sparked new life in them, making them tremble in his grasp.
Letting out a shaky exhale, you took Yoongi’s hand in your own, noting the smooth planes of his palm and long digits. You internally cringed at your quivering fingers as you slid Yoongi’s own obsidian wedding band onto his finger. Letting go as soon as you were done, you let your hands fall back down to your sides. You pointedly avoided any eye contact with Yoongi, knowing what was next.
“I now pronounce you man and wife. You may kiss the bride.”
It felt like the air was sucked from your lungs. You knew this was coming yet it still scared you. You weren’t so much afraid of the kiss, you’d kissed plenty of people, but you were afraid of what it would ignite in you.
Yoongi left you no room to hesitate as he grasped your cheeks and gently tugged you toward him, almost making you stumble. Your eyes widened as he leaned it, his own closed. Reflexively, you almost pulled away.
“Relax,” you heard him whisper, too quiet for even the officiant to hear, the warm breath from his words gently caressing your mouth. But you couldn’t stop shaking. You clenched your eyes shut as he leaned in closer before feeling the skin of his thumb covering your lips. His thumb pressed against your lip for just a second before he pulled back entirely, dropping his hands back down to his sides.
You hovered, unsure of what just happened. Did he cover your mouth for the kiss? You weren’t sure how to feel about that. On the one hand, you were admittedly relieved, not wanting your first kiss with Yoongi to be under these circumstances of obligation, and it certainly spoke to his respect for your own consent. Even though you were sure there wouldn’t be any more chances for a kiss anyway.
But a more sinister and greedy part of you wished he hadn’t shielded you, craved the soft touch of his lips against your own. You, ashamedly, wanted to share a romantic moment with him, even if it was a guise for a happy marriage. Just feeling his slightly calloused fingers grazing your cheeks was enough to leave you wanting more.
Applause startled you out of your trance, making you turn towards the audience and plaster a smile on your face. Scanning the crowd, you spotted Hoseok clapping, sending you an encouraging smile. You breathed out, feeling minutely comforted by his sweet smile.
Yoongi took your hand, holding it, as you began walking down the aisle. You’d practiced this yesterday, so your body was almost numb to the situation of his thumb rubbing against your forefinger.
Almost.
A nasty thought slithered its way into the forefront of your mind.
That was the same thumb that he covered the kiss with.
As you walked down the narrow pathway, making sure to smile at the sea of guests your mother had invited, you could feel your gaze growing hazier. This was all getting to be a bit overwhelming. Your feet were hurting in the heels your mother had made you wear, the jacquard of the dress was starting to dig into your skin at the bust, the hairpins lining your hair were hurting your scalp, and the scent of Yoongi’s cologne was intoxicating.
You and Yoongi reached the end of the aisle, walking past the doors and letting them close behind, leaving the both of you a few minutes to catch your breath before you were whisked away from the reception. Yoongi quickly separated from you, taking a water bottle from an attendant and downing almost half of it. Your hand felt cold suddenly.
Another employee offered a water bottle to you as well, and you gratefully accepted, taking a swig immediately. The cool liquid soothed your scratchy throat, feeling it go down with it being the only thing you’d had today by way of food. The attendants then gestured for you to follow them into separate changing rooms, preparing hanboks that your parents had wanted you to wear during the reception.
Letting the attendant dress you in the hanbok gave you time to process what had just happened. You were now married to Yoongi. You had filled out the paperwork about a week prior, but the bells and whistles of the ceremony made it feel much more real. Sighing, you took solace in the fact that the hardest bit was done.
But was it really?
Now, you had to sit through a reception, thanking guests for coming and pretending like Yoongi actually liked you. Exchanging recycled pleasantries and fake smiles with your parents’ social circle and business partners was less than appealing.
The employee quietly told you that she was finished and moved aside to let you look in the mirror.
You tried to be happy about how pretty you looked, but all you could see were your bloodshot eyes and the slightly cakey makeup trying to hide your eye bags. At least the hanbok wasn’t as tight as your dress.
Exiting the dressing room, you caught sight of Yoongi in his dark blue hanbok with white pants. He looked striking, as always, but you couldn’t find it in yourself to be starstruck at this point in the day. You just wanted to go home and lie down. You were led to the reception hall where guests were already mingling for cocktail hour while the food was being prepped to be served.
A man whose name you didn’t know announced your arrival and the guests turned in your direction and began to clap. Yoongi grabbed your hand in his once more, the suddenness of the action making you flinch. You entered the hall, smiling and greeting guests politely. You couldn’t even recognize anyone staring back at you.
Yoongi led you through all the guests expertly, exchanging greetings and small talk smoothly like he’d done this before. You felt like you were in a trance, repeating the same pleasantries and shallow questions. How was he so good at this?
You finally reached the end of the guests, moving to your bridal parties. You hadn’t even seen your parents, your mother was probably talking to guests herself. Joohee pulled you into a tight hug, holding it for a second longer before releasing you with a comforting smile on her face and sympathy in her eyes. The other bridesmaids didn’t bother going beyond quick congratulations, which you were grateful for. You didn’t know them anyway. Hoseok was next to Joohee, also immediately encasing you and attempting to ruffle your hair, but you moved your head out of the way. He stepped back, taking a moment to look at you before speaking.
“You’re doing well.”
Your eyes became watery as you mustered up a shaky smile, something about him praising you for what felt like thankless effort almost pushed you over the edge, “Thanks, Hobi. Love you.”
“Love you too, always.”
“Hey, I love you too,” Joohee protested, making you bark out a laugh.
“You’re my number one, Joo,” you smiled, taking her hands and squeezing them. She grinned widely in response before punching Hoseok in the arm.
“Ow, what the heck,” he grumbled.
“Because I love Y/N more than you,” she responded petulantly, leaving Hoseok to only roll his eyes in response.
The antics made you smile, giving you room to breathe in the stifling room of business partnership discussions.
“Y/N,” Yoongi’s deep voice rumbled, making you freeze before turning to face him. His eyes laid on your figure in what felt like a scrutinizing manner, making you squirm under the heavy gaze.
“I’d like you to meet my groomsmen,” Yoongi stated, gesturing behind him, “You already know Jin hyung.”
You nodded mutely, sending an unsure smile in Seokjin’s direction. Why was he doing this? He hadn’t bothered to introduce you to them before, why did it matter now? Were you supposed to introduce Hoseok too, then?
“This is Kim Namjoon,” Yoongi continued, moving his hand to clap the tall, dimpled man’s shoulder. The man smiled politely, the dimples faint with the minute movement, and stepped forward, putting out his hand, “Hi, I’ve known Yoongi since college. It’s nice to meet you.”
You shook his hand, feeling quite exposed under his dragon-like eyes, “Nice to meet you too. I like your hair.” It was a rule that you’d made with yourself, to try and give at least one compliment to each new person you met. You found that it made them much more open and friendly towards you, and it didn’t hurt to receive compliments in return.
“Thanks,” Namjoon said, smile widening and deepening his dimples. His firm grasp on your hand grounded you, but you still felt your cheeks grow hot at the contact. Why were all of Yoongi’s friends so hot? “I like your hair too,” he finished. You smiled in response, pulling your hand away before your blush became too obvious.
“This is Kim Taehyung,” Yoongi’s voice pulled you out of the stupor Namjoon’s visual put you in, “I met him a bit after college. He’s a pretty famous jazz performer.”
The model-esque man from the previous day stepped forward, rendering you speechless. Seriously, what was with this friend group? His elegant cheekbones and narrow nose perfectly complemented the kind eyes that adorned his face, and the sandy blonde hair that fell on his forehead. He quickly took your hand in his, kissing the top, making you gasp in response.
“You have beautiful eyes,” Taehyung said, his voice was a smooth baritone that sent shivers down your spine. He looked up from your hand, eyes hooded from his brow bone, making you quickly pull away at the stunning visual.
“Thanks,” you stammered, trying to collect your thoughts, “You have a pretty smile.”
Taehyung’s face broke out into the aforementioned expression, an adorably contagious boxy smile, as he straightened up, “Thanks!”
“I actually listen to some jazz myself, though not that much,” you mentioned, wanting something to connect over, “I’ve been very into Kenny Garrett recently.”
Taehyung’s smile brightened, letting out a low chuckle, “Yes, he’s pretty great. You should come to one of my shows then, I’ll send you a ticket.”
You heard Yoongi clear his throat.
“You and Yoongi hyung a ticket, of course,” Taehyung finished, winking at you before turning away to greet Hoseok.
“And, lastly, this is Jeon Jeongguk. He’s the son of one of my father’s friends, so we grew up together,” Yoongi concluded, but Jeongguk interrupted.
“Hi, noona! You look so pretty,” Jeongguk smiled, excitedly hugging you. You laughed in response, patting his back before retorting, “Thanks, you look pretty too.”
Jeongguk pulled away, laughing jovially, “Thanks! I told Yoongi hyung we already talked but I don’t think he believed me.”
You stiffened, glancing at Yoongi, whose face was impassive, “Oh, I see.”
Yoongi stepped forward, blocking Jeongguk from your sight, “And who’s your guest?”
“Oh,” you stuttered, flustered by his closer presence, “This is Hoseok. We met in college, but he lives in Busan now. Well, not for much longer, he’s looking to move here,” you rambled.
Hoseok chuckled before placing a hand on your shoulder, “Hey, I’m Jung Hoseok. It’s nice to meet you.”
Both men shook hands before Hoseok returned to your side, “I’ve been by Y/N’s side ever since our first year, it’s a surprise I’ve lasted this long,” he finished with a short laugh.
You elbowed him in the side, only making him grimace and slip his hand down to your waist for a teasing squeeze, “I work a dance studio in Busan but I’m planning on opening my own here.”
“Impressive,” Yoongi stated in a monotone voice, “You two must be close.”
“The closest,” Hoseok grinned, pulling you flush to his side, causing you to struggle, “We’re very familiar.”
Oh no.
That’s Hoseok’s shit-stirring voice, you knew it well. One glance at his sardonic grin had you wrestling out of his grip and trying to move on in the conversation to avoid whatever Hoseok was planning, “Yeah, we and Joohee are all really good friends. We were practically inseparable until Hoseok moved. We should all get lunch together sometime so you can get to know them better.”
“I don’t think that will be necessary,” Yoongi said, almost eerily calm, eyes set on Hoseok’s impish smile.
You deflated at his words, forgetting for a moment that Yoongi didn’t want you to mix personal lives. It was embarrassing to say the least, and you felt like you came off as desperate. You felt yourself curl inwards before muttering a quiet, “Sure.”
Yoongi sent a curt nod in Hoseok’s direction before turning away to return to his own friend group, leaving you flustered and disconcerted next to Hoseok. He grinned triumphantly before noticing your abashed state, quickly pulling you into a soothing hug.
You pulled away, not wanting to be embarrassed anymore tonight, and reached for a passing waiter’s tray of champagne. You didn’t usually drink at public functions, but you felt like this was a worthy exception. The bubbly liquid felt necessary to get through the rest of the night, and you welcomed the warming sensation enthusiastically. You didn’t catch Hoseok’s concerned gaze nor the other stare that fell on your form from a far darker pair of eyes across the table.
You were exhausted. Every limb in your body and your brain itself were screaming out with soreness and fatigue. It felt like a light at the end of a tunnel when guests began filing out and the party came to a close.
You were decently buzzed, but still sober enough to be aware, from the multiple champagne glasses you drank. Joohee had made sure to keep you well hydrated, somewhat numbing the effects of the alcohol on your body.
The rest of the reception had gone by quietly, with you and Yoongi separated for the majority of it, greeting what guests you hadn’t and barely talking during dinner. You were conflicted, somewhat grateful for the ease the lack of Yoongi’s presence gave you, but also finding yourself missing his confident aura.
You waved the last guest out, before letting yourself collapse on a nearby chair. Joohee patted your shoulder and Hoseok wandered off to grab your belongings so that you’d be ready to go. Your mother closed the door to the room before approaching you, Yoongi’s parents in tow.
“Yoongi,” his mother called, pulling him away from his friends who were seated at another table. He approached, arriving at your seat at the same time as your mother.
“You’ll be going home in the car we’ve called for you,” your mother stated, leaving no room for argument. You were going to stay in Yoongi’s apartment now, “I assume your things are already there?”
You nodded timidly.
“Right, well, we’ll leave you to it. Would you like to join me and Woohyun for some drinks,” your mother asked Yoongi’s parents.
“Yes, of course, we’ll have a driver take us to your home. Yoongi, be good now,” his mother said, patting Yoongi’s shoulder and giving you a polite smile. You mustered up what you hoped was a smile in response, but you wouldn’t have been surprised if it was a grimace instead.
Your mother offered you no goodbye and instead gathered your father and gave some closing instructions to the cleaning staff, before swiftly exiting. You were left looking at Yoongi, who was mouthing something to his friends, waiting to see what he would do.
Joohee squeezed your shoulder before leaving you to help Hoseok with your bags. Hoseok didn’t really need help as you didn’t have much except the clothes you’d arrived in and some electronics, but you could tell Joohee wanted to escape the tense atmosphere. You couldn’t blame her.
Yoongi turned toward you, making you stand automatically to meet his gaze, “Are you ready to go?”
“Yes, let me just,” you started before being interrupted by Hoseok arriving with your bag. You chuckled awkwardly as Yoongi’s eyes narrowed, watching you take the bags from Hoseok. Joohee was next to him, fiddling with her phone in an effort to not engage, you assumed.
“Are you leaving,” Hoseok asked, to which you nodded in response, “Well, have fun. Call me anytime, I’ll always be there.” He pulled you into a hug, making you melt in his embrace. You soon felt Joohee’s arms wrap around you as well, “Me too, we’ll talk later.” They released you before giving you encouraging smiles. You couldn’t say you felt the same level of confidence.
Facing Yoongi, you gathered your bags, noting his one bag at his side, likely containing his suit. He nodded curtly at Hoseok and Joohee, who waved in response, before turning on his heel and walking towards the door. You stumbled after him, waving a messy goodbye to Hoseok and Joohee, and finally catching up to Yoongi holding the door open for you. You tried to muster a grateful nod, but seeing his cold expression, you moved quickly to get out the door.
Awaiting your arrival outside was a sleek, black car, with a chauffeur standing patiently holding the door open to the backseat. You took a quick glance at Yoongi, who gestured for you to enter first, so you did, leaving your bags sitting outside. Yoongi climbed in afterward, quietly asking the driver to put the luggage in the trunk. The two of you sat in silence, waiting for the driver to finish packing the luggage away.
It was finally over.
Somehow, it didn’t feel that way. The relief you’d hoped to feel was nowhere to be found and you were left with only the biting anxiety that Yoongi’s silence incited. You played mindlessly with the seams of your hanbok, finding it slightly uncomfortable to sit in the backseat with. Yoongi didn’t seem to share the same discomfort, scrolling idly on his phone and not acknowledging your presence.
You wished you could do the same, but you’d left your phone in your bag after not having used it all day. Instead, you turned to the scenery outside your window to keep yourself occupied. The driver soon started up the car and began heading to Yoongi’s apartment. Watching the scenery fly by gave you time to think about what was waiting for you there.
You hadn’t visited Yoongi’s apartment yet, too afraid and uncomfortable to set foot inside a space so truly and specially his. Most of your things from your own apartment were apparently already set up, courtesy of his maid, Mrs. Lim, whom you had been in contact with when you first dropped off your things. You had been in a rush, trying to get to a dress fitting, and Mrs. Lim had insisted that you give everything to her and that she would make sure it would be ready for you when you came.
You supposed now was that time.
Yoongi was still silent beside you and you weren’t sure what to say to him. You hadn’t really spoken for the rest of the night after his odd introduction to Hoseok. It frustrated you how the little things he was doing kept messing with your head.
You weren’t an idiot, you knew that his actions could point toward jealousy, but you refused to consider that as a possibility. Not only would it contradict his entire attitude towards you, but you couldn’t allow yourself to feel even a sliver of hope that Yoongi might harbor feelings toward you. The constant self-regulation was taxing and you dreaded the idea that this would be your future, constantly reminding yourself that your husband doesn’t love you and to not get confused.
Your thoughts halted with the car as the driver pulled into the entrance of the large building that housed Yoongi’s apartment. It was dark, so you gladly accepted the help of the chauffeur in getting out of the car. He kindly handed you your bags before bowing and driving away. You didn’t have access to the building yet, having called Mrs. Lim for your past visits, so you looked helplessly at Yoongi to unlock the door.
He didn’t spare you a glance as he punched in his code and stood aside to let you in. You nodded in thanks anyway and shivered at the cold nipping at your cheeks. Yoongi led you to the elevator, pressing the 9th-floor button, silently standing in the opposite corner from you.
Sighing internally, you almost laughed at the blatant display of the contempt he held for you. For the first time, you thought of him as slightly immature.
The elevator doors slid open and Yoongi led you to a hallway with only four doors, each housing a penthouse apartment. The farthest door was Yoongi’s, you learned, as he held his thumb up to the pad before hearing a click and pushing the door open. Mrs. Lim was immediately there to greet him.
“Mr. Min, let me take your things. Oh, Ms. Seo! Here, I’ll take your bags to your room. Wait, should I call you Mrs. Min, now?”
You smiled at the sweet, older woman, nodding your greeting, “Hi, Mrs. Lim. Please, just call me Y/N.”
She smiled at you, taking your things and rushing off to the upstairs portion of the apartment. It left you standing awkwardly next to Yoongi, who was typing something out on his phone. You took the moment to let your eyes wander around the sparkling apartment. It looked straight out of a catalogue with cool tones and neat furniture with an open concept. He had smooth, black leather couches surrounding a large TV with a path into a dining room that housed a large table and comfortable-looking chairs. That was next to a large kitchen with a wide counter in the middle and a sleek, silver refrigerator and oven. It looked nice, but not welcoming. You preferred warmer lighting and more touches of color, with some plants, but you reminded yourself that this wasn’t your space to customize.
Or was it? You weren’t really sure. It felt like you were invading Yoongi’s home, but wasn’t it your home now too? Should you be able to decorate it to your liking as well? Or at least compromise? The thought of addressing that now felt too overwhelming and you didn’t want to piss off Yoongi so early into your stay.
“You can go change and get ready to sleep. We can discuss the ground rules now or tomorrow morning, your choice,” Yoongi said, snapping you out of your observation of the apartment.
You nodded absently, wondering what other rules he had, “I can come down after changing.”
Yoongi hummed in response before taking off to the stairs, evidently going to change himself. You stood awkwardly by the entrance, not knowing exactly where your room was, and decided to take hesitant steps toward the stairs.
“Oh, Ms. Seo, let me help you to your room,” came Mrs. Lim’s comforting voice from the top of the stairs. You gratefully accepted her help and followed her through the halls as she gave you a tour.
“Over there is Mr. Min’s office, and just next to it, his bedroom. He has another office downstairs for his work, this one is more for personal use. There’s a bathroom here, but you have an en-suite bathroom in your bedroom anyway. There’s an extra room downstairs that I’ve fashioned into a bit of an office for you if you’d like to use it. That’s the guest bedroom there, the hallway bathroom is mainly for that one. Sometimes Mr. Min’s friends will stay over if they’ve drunk. Ah! Here’s your bedroom.”
You entered, enjoying Mrs. Lim’s chattering as she gave you a mini tour. Your bedroom was large with a queen-sized bed and soft-looking sheets with a fluffy comforter. There was a desk in the corner and a vanity in the other. You noted a door on the side that must lead to the bathroom, and your bags sitting on the floor by the desk.
“Through that door is your closet and bathroom. I’ve set up your closet for the most part and tried to make it homey, but please feel free to decorate it to your liking! I’m so excited to have another woman here long term, Mr. Min doesn’t always make for great company. Oh, but don’t tell him I said that!”
You giggled, enjoying the motherly presence Mrs. Lim provided, and began unpacking some of your bags from the day, “Thank you, Mrs. Lim. I appreciate you doing all this for me. And please, call me Y/N.”
“Of course. Do you need assistance getting out of your hanbok?”
“No, I think I’ll be alright, thank you.”
“Right, then I’ll leave you to it. I’ll be off shift now so I’ll be heading home, but please feel free to call me if you have any questions.”
“Of course, thank you, Mrs. Lim. Have a good night.”
She bowed before exiting and you breathed out, sitting on the plush bed, making the comforter balloon around you. The room was nice, definitely, but it felt a bit stale and unwelcoming. At least you could customize this area without having to worry about Yoongi. You opened the door to the closet, marveling at the size and open entrance into the bathroom with a large tub and shower. Your clothes were nicely organized and you had no trouble finding some pajamas to change into with an old shirt you’d stolen from Hoseok and shorts.
Quickly undressing, you neatly hung up your hanbok and slipped into the shower, grabbing the necessary toiletries from your bag. You relished in being able to wash the hair spray out of your hair and loosen it from your scalp, glaring at the pile of hairpins that sat on the granite counter you’d spent upwards of five minutes removing. The warm water soothed your aching legs and the soapy bodywash felt rejuvenating.
You swiftly finished showering, not wanting to keep Yoongi waiting, and wrapped yourself in a towel before loosely drying your hair. You preferred to let it air dry, so you only lightly patted it with a towel. Drying off the rest of your body, you donned new undergarments, pausing on whether or not to put on a bra. You usually didn’t wear bras to bed, but you didn’t want to go down to meet Yoongi braless.
You almost laughed at the ridiculousness of the situation and pulled on a comfortable sports bra, before slipping on your shorts and t-shirt, finally feeling comfortable. Quickly checking your reflection in the massive mirror, you headed down the stairs to meet Yoongi.
He was sitting on the leather couch in a loose white t-shirt and black sweatpants, almost taking your breath away at how beautifully casual he looked. You’d only seen him in suits so far and seeing him in loungewear with wet hair and a towel around his neck left you flustered. He noticed your presence, eyes running over your form making you feel embarrassed.
He gestured for you to join him on the couch, setting aside his phone to lean forward on his knees. You sat on the loveseat across from him, not quite sure what the etiquette was at this point.
“Okay, so I’ve already told you the general rules I have. Basically, don’t enter my space without knocking and please, do not go into my upstairs office. I’ll do the same for you. You’re free to set up your rooms however you like.”
You nodded, all of this seemed pretty fair so far.
“You can use the kitchen however you like, just let Mrs. Lim know what groceries you want. If I have guests over, I’d prefer if you stayed in your room, but I won’t force you. This space is as much yours as it is mine, now.”
You continued nodding along, making some notes of getting a TV for your room so you could properly entertain yourself when his friends were over. You wouldn’t exactly want him coming into the room when you’re with Hoseok and Joohee either.
“You can invite your friends over whenever you want, just let me know in advance. I’ll be sure to do the same for you. Also, if I have any of my own partners over,” he continued, the last words causing you to flinch, “I’ll make sure to let you know. Please just give us some privacy and try not to be out in the common space when they’re here. Of course, I’ll extend the same courtesy.”
The harsh reminder of the openness of the marriage left you squirming in the chair. You didn’t want to remember that Yoongi would be fucking other people in the home you shared.
“We can add things as we get used to living together. Anything you want to add?”
You shook your head quickly, just wanting to go to bed as soon as possible. Yoongi nodded, rising, before sparing you one last glance.
“Alright, goodnight then.”
“Goodnight,” you squeaked, watching him ascend the stairs. After his form disappeared into the hallway, you leaned back on the loveseat, exhaling harshly. What a conversation. You’d have to take some time to get used to this. You returned to your room feeling heavily conflicted. As you set up your phone and watch chargers, you thought over the conversation.
Objectively, Yoongi was being relatively fair, letting you exist in the space in the same capacity as him. Yet, you still felt unhappy. You knew why. You wanted him to be only yours, to have the same exclusive outlook you did on the relationship. You were upset with yourself more than him.
He had made this clear from the beginning, that he had no intention of stopping any partners outside of the relationship. He clearly didn’t want to have a relationship with you, sex or not, so what he was doing now was completely fair.
You couldn’t turn the emotional part of your brain that craved to have a real romantic relationship with him. It was almost annoying and you were frustrated at yourself for continuing to feel this way.
Climbing into bed, you continued wallowing, deciding that you’d pity yourself tonight, but the next day, you’d have to pull yourself together. You’d taken a couple of weeks off at the insistence of your boss, even though he knew you weren’t going on a honeymoon, and you wanted to enjoy sleeping in.
It was time to adopt Yoongi’s approach and try to remove yourself emotionally from the situation. How hard could it be?
Yoongi couldn’t focus on his book, ultimately setting it aside on his bedside table. He furiously rubbed at his eyes, feeling frustrated.
His eyes hadn’t been listening to him lately. They seemed to constantly wander after your figure, finding your face and curves at every corner. The past couple of days, they had barely strayed from you, watching as you cuddled up to that man, Hoseok.
Who was he? Were you two together? Was Hoseok in love with you? More importantly, why did it bother Yoongi so much?
He groaned, feeling annoyed that your relationship with Hoseok was getting to him so much. He had been the one to set the boundary of it being an open relationship, so why did it bother him so much that you seemed to be employing that? Yoongi knew that he had no right to feel this way and was only further annoyed that he continued to do so.
And what was with your budding friendship with Jeongguk? When did you two become so close? Yoongi buried his head in his hands, shouldn’t he be happy that his friends and wife are getting along?
Wife. It felt odd to say, or think, that. You were his wife now. Except he’d made it clear that the title didn’t change anything between you, nor would it change his actions. Despite his earlier resolve to not let this marriage affect him, you seemed to be having a great effect on him.
He’d followed your form and mannerisms throughout the past couple of days. He’d noticed your trembling hands and avoiding eye contact. When the two of you had been about to kiss, he could feel your body shaking beneath his hands, prompting him to cover your mouth for the kiss.
He hated how tempted he’d been to fully kiss you.
Throughout the rest of the ceremony and reception, you’d been largely withdrawn, until you’d met with Hoseok. Yoongi was frustrated that you didn’t seem to be able to stand up for yourself, that you played so well into the role of a trophy wife, but he’d been even more upset at your close contact with Hoseok.
The man had laid his hands on you so easily and seeing the way Hoseok’s fingers curled around your waist and your smile when you talked to him made Yoongi’s blood boil. Why hadn’t you smiled at him like that?
Yoongi bit his lip, he knew that wasn’t your fault. He hadn’t been welcoming at all to you, he’d barely given you a chance to talk to him. Yoongi was just steadfast in his mission to continue on with life as normal, he didn’t want this marriage to change anything. He knew it wasn’t fair of him to be upset with you going along with his requests.
You were dangerous.
You were dangerous in the way that you nodded along to everything Yoongi asked, in the way you refused to let your mask slip and show any emotion, in the way you smiled so brightly with Hoseok and Jeongguk, in the way your cheeks tinged pink when Taehyung kissed your hand and Namjoon smiled at you, and in the way you looked so comfortable and natural in your pajamas.
Yoongi had to suck in a breath when he saw you entering the living room with your freshly washed and damp hair, falling in wet curls strands around your shoulders, making a wet spot on the oversized dance team t-shirt.
That was another thing. Where had you gotten that shirt? It was far too big for you, Yoongi knew that well. It was obvious in the way it fell past the hem of your shorts, tantalizing his eyes to rake down your legs, and it was for a college dance team. Were you on one in college?
Or, Yoongi’s mind raced, was it Hoseok’s? Hadn’t the man said he worked in a dance studio? The thought made Yoongi fume, just how close had you two gotten?
But he paused, what right did he have to feel upset? Yoongi had been in bed with another woman just days ago, it wasn’t fair of him to judge you for doing the same. He’d said that you were allowed to sleep with or date whoever you wanted, so why was he so angry at the idea of you and Hoseok?
Another sigh escaped him, he didn’t have it in him to deal with this tonight. Just the idea of you a few rooms down in that too-big shirt and too-short shorts was enough to drive him crazy.
He reached over, turning off the lamp next to his bed. He’d unpack his feelings in the morning. Yoongi turned over, settling into bed, ignoring how empty and cold his hand felt without your warmth.
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#yoongi#yoongi fic#bts yoongi#min yoongi#yoongi smut#min yoongi smut#yoongi x reader#bts fic recs#yoongi x you#bangtan#bangtan smut#bangtan fanfic#bangtan x reader#bangtan fic#bts fic#bts smut#bts#bts fanfic#bts imagine#bts x reader#bts x you#min yoongi fanfiction#min yoongi x reader#min yoongi fanfic#myg x reader#myg fic#myg smut#myg#myg angst#asingledaffodil
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so it goes... • a. anderson
summary - dominance & dumbification HC's abby treats her partner like a dumb baby!
WC - 711
cw/tw - 18+ MDNI, total dumbification/brain breaking, dominant!abby, submissive!reader. a lil' smutty nearing the end. afab!reader, talk of strap-ons, talk of food and eating. abby is very low-key pervy in this i love.
A/N - as abbys favorite dummy, i felt like i had a duty to fufill with this one. oopsie daisies! dont have much to say except: dont ask about the phantom fic, or why i have seemed to find a home on the abby train. just *shoves this at you* take this! read this!
you did a number on me, but honestly, baby.. whos counting?
• she knew just how smart, hard-working and headstrong you were ever since you shook her hand the day you two met. it made her wanna help, wanna take it all away, she wanted to be your peace.
• abby knows that in order to get you to fully surrender, she's gonna have to work. so she did, it took a bit of conditioning but in no time you were more than willing to just accept her control.
• little things like: getting up before you so she's so she can wake you up. pulling your panties up for you, brushing and washing your hair for you, patting your back when you accomplish something, calling you “kid” (raaaaaahshshshdhshdirnfhfm)
• she has a bulletin board hung in her at-home office.. littered with coloring sheets, love notes, original works and more from you. she cherishes it all. and loves the reminders of how little you do bc she does it all for you
• she DEF puts your shoes on/ties your laces for you.
• constantly running your baths for you, making them nice, lighting candles etc. most likely isn’t going to get in with you, she wants to sit out and monitor so you don't get hurt. when you need to get the shampoo out of your hair? she gets closer to the edge of the tub, nestles her hand on the nape of your neck, and holds you while she lays you back into the water. so you dont drown ofc. bc ur TOTALLY gonna drown in the bath lmao
• cooks for you, and maybe even feeds you when she's feeling like it.
• puts you down for naps in the afternoon, you have a little sleeping nook in her office so she can still keep an eye on you.
• teaches you to kneel at her feet when she comes home from work!!!! she tells you to lay your head in her lap and let her read!!!!
• abby is 100% buying you branded clothing.. panties with her initials, shirts that say “abby’s girl.” she went as far as to buy you a collar with “property of: abigail anderson.” inscribed on the inside. if she chokes you hard enough while fucking you, the words make an indent on your skin.
• ✨ abby's strap is clear ✨ idc idc! argue wit ya mom!!!!
• abby was never really a religious girl.. but she swears up to god above that she can feel you squeezing her strap.
• refers to it as “her” cock, “her” dick ashqtfgegyshhhhhhhhh
• abby loves loves LOVES orgasm controoool!!! she picks up on the little tell-tale signs that you’re going to cum fairly quickly, and it isnt long after until shes asking if she can teach you how to cum on command.
• gets you so so fucking close, and makes you hold it. starting at a one minute delay, then three minutes, then five. before stopping what shes doing entirely, denying you of climax.
• once she finally decided you’ve had enough. she makes you count down from ten before you can come, she does this over and over. breaking your brain and pushing you into deeper submission
• ??? the first time you fall into subspace ??? oh my stars, abby ‘bout loses her goddamn mind! she can literally watch all thoughts leave your head, loves watching you go all stupid. she takes account of the shift in your face, the sudden increase of spasms in your legs, the broken moans. she just keeps fucking you back on her cock, telling you how pretty you are when you dont think <3!
• “my sweet little braindead baby, huh?”
• “y’probably don't even know what that means, hm?”
• “ah- yes baby, thats my stupid girl.”
• “mmmm.. say ‘bye, bye’ to your brain with me, little girl”
• and then literally stops fucking you so she can make you wave n’ say "bye, bye brain” with her.
• aftercare GOD !!!
• her favorite is to just let you relish in the floaty feeling of the after-glow.
• “took my cock so well, dummy. m’so proud.”
• she gets you a glass of water and an ibuprofen, because lets be real: you’re already sore.
• turns on a movie and tucks you both in, giving you kisses, scratching your back.
• falls asleep absolutely pussy-drunk and with her nose buried in your hair.
mmkay, byeeeee!
#abby anderson#the last of us fanfiction#abby headcanons#abby tlou#abby anderson smut#abby x reader#abby x fem!reader#ellie williams smut#sapphic#tlou fic#lesbian#tlou2#tlou hbo#ellie williams x female reader#abby anderson imagine#abby anderson fic#abby anderson x reader#abby anderson x you
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“Are You Okay?”
Sam Kiszka × Reader NSFW 18+
Author's Note:
I have no idea what l'm doing or what possessed me to write this... That's partially a lie- There's no Sam Fics out there, and this is compiled of some requests l've had/Requests l've seen on other blogs. This is loosely inspired by Daisy Jones & The Six (The Amazon series, not the book, the book was better though hehe), Basically when Camilla was seeking out attention during a rough patch with Billy. I'm Layla, let me know what ya think, or don't. Just be nice! Sorry if there's typos, this took me hours to write on 2 separate nights, l'm not an amazing writer, just out here trying new things!
Summary:
Sammy's girlfriend (Y/N) is under the impression he is cheating on her and not only gets drunk to mask her feelings, but seeks comfort in Jake... Yup, it's messy, folks. Also, there's sex, read the warnings!
WARNINGS:
Angst, Topics of Cheating, Arguing W/ a S.O., NSFW, Sex, Spit Kink (this is a common request on Sammy blogs, if you're not into it, close your eyes or keep it pushing! my page is a no judge zone!), Unprotected Sex (Wrap it up, or don't, it’s not my business… prob wrap it up though.)
Word Count: 7,149
——————————————————————————
I was looking out the window of the plane that was taking me to God knows where. All I knew was that I was on my way to the love of my life.
Sam’s been on tour for a few months, and honestly, I’ve been starting to feel a distance. I’m assuming it’s more on my end, I’m working a high stress job while trying to make my art my main one. Sam’s understanding of it and I think it’s time I show him just how much I appreciate that of him.
As the plane is landing, I start to write out a text to Jake, who’s going through a major rough patch with his girlfriend. Sam mentioned they were on a break, but I won’t pry, I just want to tell him to let Sam know that I’ll be at the hotel in about an hour…
“Hey! Could you let Sam know I decided on taking an uber? I think his phone’s dead, I’ll be at the hotel in an hour!”
“I haven’t seen him since last night, but I’m sure I’ll run into him, be careful, sweet girl…♥️”
Sweet girl… Jake’s nickname for me since we first met… He always said I was too sweet for Sam.
As I gathered my bags from baggage claim and made my way outside to my Uber, I started thinking about how Jake mentioned he hasn’t seen Sam since last night… I never think about Sam’s whereabouts, I know most girls would be itching to know what their traveling, rockstar boyfriend was up to, but he’s never given me an inkling of a feeling that the rumors about guys on the road and his past were true. And I was far too busy career wise to think into those thoughts.
But I’d be lying if I said the reason I was tapping my foot in the backseat of this Uber wasn’t because I was starting to believe it.
————————————————————————
I got the keycard from concierge and made my way to Sam’s room. For some reason, I couldn’t stop thinking that the distance I’ve noticed wasn’t just me, and maybe he wasn’t as trustworthy as I thought…
I shook away my thoughts while the elevator chimed it’s arrival on his floor. I walked out, luggage trailing behind me, and anxiously speed walking to his door. Suddenly I was picturing the scene behind that door. A Penny Lane wannabe enthralled with him between the sheets, while he tells her I’m the last thing on his mind. What was wrong with me? I knocked on it, holding my breath.
I heard rustling behind the door, and feet lazily lugging themselves across the floor. It swung open, and there he was.
“Hey,” He pulled me in for a half hug, out of breath, hair a mess. He smelled like the floor of a dive bar.
“Hi, baby” I entered the room, it was in decent condition considering he’s been here for at least two nights.
“Room looks clean…” I huffed as I released my bag from my hand in the small walkway.
Sam looked around, yawning a bit while running his hand through his tendrils.
“Yeah, I guess- Haven’t really slept in here.”
I tried to ignore the pit in my stomach, telling myself not to read into it as I kicked my shoes off.
“Crashed at Danny’s or something?” I asked, trying to remind myself that he has 3 other rooms to end up in if he pleases…
I tried to look for his eyes as he sat on the foot of the bed. He looked guilty. This wasn’t in my head anymore. Suddenly my extremities went cold.
“Sam?” I said, firmer than usual. My chest was rising and falling at this point.
“What?” He practically spat at me. He looked at me like he’d been found out. His eyes blinking with a dullness behind them that felt inhuman.
“Sam… Where were you last night?”
“Y/N…” He held his face in his hands, rubbing his eyes.
“Sam. Answer me.” I felt tears beginning to sting my eyes.
“Y/N, I was at Danny’s, okay?” He stood up now with his arms open in defense.
“Look, I’m hung over, I really don’t want to be questioned by my girlfriend right now.” He walked past me to make it to the bathroom. As I turned to watch him slam the door.
Sam was the most attentive man in my life. Never leaving me when I’m upset, always letting me cry it out to him and absorbing every word I had to say.
Instead, he started the shower.
A few tears made their way out as I unpacked my outfit for tonight, feeling stupid as I pulled out each piece that I was so excited to wear for him. A cream colored, see through, lace dress with a slit up the leg, dark brown cowboy boots and a dark brown slip to wear underneath it.
I continued laying everything out when I saw something peeking out from underneath the duvet. Assuming it was one of Sam’s shirts, I pulled it, with the intention of folding it and placing it to the side. Except it wasn’t his shirt. It was distinctively a woman’s blouse. Orange chiffon, staring back at me. I stared back at it in my hands for a second. Hoping it would disappear from my hands and maybe I would wake up from a dream. Suddenly, I had no tears, my throat was too dry to speak.
He stepped out of the bathroom in a towel and I shoved the damned piece of fabric into my luggage. His eyes were softer now.
“Love,” he called out softly.
I nodded, eye’s fixated on his. He walked towards me, he took my waist into his hands and pulled me close to him.
He brought one hand to the valley between my jaw and neck, resting his thumb on my cheek.
“Y/N, I love you, I just had a rough night. I’m so happy you’re here, I’m sorry okay?” He looked me dead in my eyes, and something about that made my stomach turn. He’s lying to me, while looking into my eyes.
“Okay.” Was all I could manage. I felt a sense of serenity, or extreme numbness. He looked puzzled, looking for the rest of what I could say on my face.
“You love me, right?” Sam said, matching the hand that was on my waist to the one on my face.
“Of course,” I smiled, insincerely. “I have to shower now.” I motioned my head towards the bathroom door.
He leaned into kiss me, I moved my head slightly to where he could only kiss the corner of my mouth.
“I feel gross from the plane, sorry.” I said acting like everything was fine. He nodded and let me go.
————————————————————————
After my shower, I immediately started getting ready. It was all so robotic.
Sam knocked on the door to let me know he’d be going to the venue for soundcheck, which he’d been late for. I put my hairdryer on to drown him out mid speech. I heard the hotel door shut, and my phone lit up on the counter.
“Baby doll I left for soundcheck, I don’t know if you heard me♥️ See me before the show like you do?”
I “thumbs’d up” his text and continued my hair and makeup.
While doing my makeup, I suddenly felt thirsty. I opted for every alcoholic nip in the mini fridge.
————————————————————————
I finished getting ready and Ubered to the venue. I drunkenly vowed to myself that Sam will not make a fool out of me. If he was going to realize what I was being short about, it will be on MY terms. Not his, and most certainly not on my emotion’s terms. The alcohol has numbed every emotion, and I was thanking the heavens for that.
While I got into the building and was escorted backstage, all I could think about was another drink.
Entering the green room, I made a beeline for the bar cart while everyone mingled and were making the last touches to their outfits. Danny, Sam and Josh were gathered around the tour manager while Jake was off to the side, looking rather uninterested.
I poured myself a drink and sent my happy-fake smiles to the tour crew as they passed by, cheerful to see me. As I sipped my concoction of liquor, I began to feel disgusted with them too, knowing they could smile at me while they probably know of Sam’s girl on the side and smiled the same way at her.
I felt a tap on my shoulder, as I turned around, I was met with the soulful eyes I so dearly loved. It was Jake. Who reeked of rum. It broke my heart that we were drinking for similar reasons.
“Hey, my sweet girl!” He pulled me in for a hug, squeezing me extra tight and letting his hand linger on the small of my back as he positioned himself to the side of me. A classic Kiszka hug. The kind of hug that makes girls wonder if it’s flirtatious but it’s really just their loving nature.
I beamed for the first time all day. Jake and I were the kind of close where we didn’t need to speak all the time to keep the friendship alive. We often found ourselves on late nights after shows talking about everything while everyone was off to sleep. As I look into his eyes, I’m realizing he might know me more than Sam does.
In my drunken state, I didn’t realize my smile faded till his eyebrow became crooked.
“Are you okay?” Was all he said, my extremities went cold once more like they did earlier.
“I-“ I felt an arm snake around my waist and someone kiss my cheek from behind. I knew who it was.
“Baby doll, come with me before I go on, talk to Jake later” Sam said, all too normal.
I smiled weakly at Jake and he gave me a concerned look. He must’ve made eye contact with Sam because his concerned look quickly became a forced, tight lipped smile. And with that, he caught up with the rest of everyone, who waved at me, unaware of the situation at hand.
Sam led me down a dark walk way, the route that takes them to the stage. The opening act was on and I could feel the bass in my chest.
We stopped walking and Sam pulled me in for a kiss. I barely kissed back, uninterested in his lips on mine… Knowing they were on God knows who’s the night earlier.
“Y/N, kiss me,” He said running his hands up my sides then to my neck, pulling me in again.
“Sam, I’m not in the mood.” I slurred.
“Y/N, I told you I’m sorry for before. I still am.”
His eyes were looking through me at this point.
“Sam, this isn’t about you, okay? Really, it’s okay!” I amazed myself with how natural it was to pretend that I didn’t find another woman’s article of clothing in his hotel room. I grabbed the sides of his face and kissed him. He began to melt into me, pushing his tongue into my mouth.
I faintly heard the opener end their set, they would be getting off on the opposite side of the stage so I wasn’t worried about stopping him. Even if I didn’t want to kiss him right now, a part of me wanted to make him think I was okay before his show.
“I love you so much-“ He said in between kisses. I kept thinking of him talking like this to another woman. It made me sick. I pulled away. Staring at him plainly. His eyes were dull with lust and confusion.
The boys started walking towards us, getting ready to go on stage. I turn to them and smile.
“Good luck tonight,” I blew them a kiss and smiled while they said their thanks and blew kisses back. Jake watched me intently as I started to walk backstage, not daring to turn around and look at Sam.
“Hey,” Jake grabbed my hand.
I turn back to him and look for his eyes, that are fixated on my hand, and work up to my face.
“Sweet girl’s on my side tonight, yeah?” He winked with a grin. His thumb rubbed my hand, all of this making me blush. This gesture was more comforting than flirting.
“Of course.” I said, bashfully.
Jake smiled once more, and I looked back towards Sam. His face was stone cold at the interaction.
————————————————————————
The concert was amazing as always. Jake made it a point to wink in my direction and blow me a few kisses during their set, all of which Sam saw.
I was still, naturally, upset. Drinking as much as I could, stumbling in the crowd a bit. I was trying to blend in with the stands but of course some of the fans recognized me, I’m embarrassed to admit I was probably too incoherent to hold any sort of conversation with them.
We were now at an after party backstage, celebrating the tour or something, I could barely tell in my inebriated state.
Sam was on his phone, frantically typing and trying to stay focused on the conversations around him. I assumed that was her on the other end of the text screen. He put his arm around me while Danny and their roadie went on about an equipment mishap. Before Sam could reply to the phone vibrating in his pocket, I turned to glance at the tour crew & opening band dancing in the middle of the room. Jake was on the other side of the dancing bunch and caught eyes with me.
“I’m gonna dance-“ I said while breaking free of Sam, who said something in return but I couldn’t hear him over the music. I walked through the moving bodies and put my hand out to Jake, who took a good swig of his drink and slammed the glass on the table beside him. He took my hand and pulled me into what felt like the music itself engulfing me. We danced, innocently. Singing the lyrics to each other as we swapped dancing partners and laughing gleefully like little kids. I felt someone grab my wrist.
“Gonna save a dance for me, right, little girl?” Sam husked into my ear.
Feeling incredibly prideful and cocky, I danced with him, and as he leaned into me, I moved my mouth to his ear.
“Tell that little slut to get her cheap shirt before tour’s over.” I said in a tone only he could hear. Sam’s grip on me loosened.
“Y/N,” His face was pale, and his feet were suddenly glued to the floor. I kept dancing.
He reached his arms out for me when I started dancing too far from him and he pulled himself into me.
“You’re not going to make a fool out of me, Sam. I’ll play stupid for everyone around us right now, but trust that I won’t let you continue this. I’m not going to be the other woman in my own relationship.” I said still quietly but snidely.
“Listen to me, Y/N,” Sam said as he tried to pull me out of all the dancing, swiftly and without causing suspicion.
“Good idea, I need air.” I said, walking towards the tunnel that lead to the parking lot.
“Even better, I’ll come with.” He said following behind.
“No, stay! Please, enjoy yourself!” I said in a tone where he knew I was sarcastic but people around us would assume I was genuine if they overheard us.
Jake came up between us and put an arm out to distance Sam.
“I’ll go with her, don’t worry!” I couldn’t tell if Jake realized what was happening or if he really thought he was just helping ease Sam by following his drunk girlfriend who needed to get air in a sketchy parking lot.
Either way, I locked arms with him and smiled.
“Thaaaank you! Enjoy yourself, Sam.”
Sam’s eyes started to get glassy. Those around us would probably assume it was from weed or the alcohol, but he was on the verge of tears. His face was hard, stoic as he watched his brother whisk me away.
————————————————————————
We made it outside. Surprisingly no one was around, just the empty trailers, cars, and tour buses.
I started running to the middle of the lot & began spinning with my arms stretched out, basking in the cool air. I heard footsteps coming towards me, increasing speed.
Jake ran up to bear hug me, I yelped.
“You’re too drunk to go exploring, let’s go closer to the building, Y/N!” he laughed as he pulled me towards the brick wall. I tried to protest but I was too weak and he was too strong.
We reached the wall and I turned to him. There was that concerned expression again. It made me shiver.
Jake started to take off his jacket, he laid it gently on my shoulders.
“Better?” He asked. I’m assuming he thought my slight shiver was from being cold, considering my outfit choice, but the truth is that my blood is boiling from anger and alcohol, I can’t feel a thing.
I nodded and gave him a tight lipped smile.
“Are you okay? And answer me this time. You drank like a sailor, and you don’t do that.” He waited for me to respond. Suddenly I was too scared to speak again, like my voice wasn’t going to be strong enough to carry these feelings into solid words.
“Are you okay?” He repeated.
I teared up, flicking away the single tear that dropped on my cheek. I ran my fingers through my hair, pulling it out of my face, taking a deep breath.
“I’m fine.” I said, knowing he wouldn’t believe me.
“You know I know that isn’t true.” He said, leaning closer to my face. I smelled the dark rum on his breath.
“How do you know that?” I said sarcastically as a few more tears left my eyes. He got closer.
“You know things are pretty much over in my relationship… I know the signs.” Jake’s lips stayed parted and his eyes focused on my mouth.
I steadied my back against the wall, backing away. He moved closer again.
“How long has it been going on?” I asked him, scared to hear the answer.
“Hm?” He seemed genuinely confused.
“Sam and some girl…” I said quietly.
“What gir-… Wait, he’s sleeping with her?” With that, the tears flowed more. He pulled me into him and left he sob.
“Let it out, Y/N, I’m so sorry, I had no idea. I can’t believe he did this to you. None of us wanted her around but he said he was just trying to help.”
He was rubbing my back, and suddenly, I was not only devastated, but curious. Who was this girl and why was he trying to help her?
I brought my head up to ask these circling questions and Jake looked at me with his tender eyes.
In this moment I felt like Jake was looking at me in a way that only women he’s been to bed with have experienced. I felt frozen, I was nervous that I was so low I’d dig myself deeper, even when I wouldn’t want to stoop to Sam’s level. I looked down, avoiding Jake’s eyes.
“I’d never do that- to you,” Jake said, letting out an awkward and breathy laugh, an attempt to lighten the meaning of his words.
I nodded, still looking down. This can’t be happening right now. I started thinking about how Jake would taste on my lips… His rum mixed with my liquor… I physically shook my head to attempt to metaphorically shake these thoughts in my head.
Jake’s single finger lifted my chin to look into his eyes. His other arm lifted, planting his hand on the wall.
“Wanna get out of here?” Was all he said.
Like clockwork, my phone started vibrating. Text after text, and the night was too quiet to ignore it. Jake waited for an answer, trying not to look down where my phone was located, inside the calf of my boot.
My face was plain, not able to answer him. Saved by the bell, his phone in his jacket pocket started ringing, I reached for it and saw Sam’s contact photo. I handed it to Jake, an attempt to make him get his finger off my chin.
He sighed, then muted it and put it into his back pocket. My phone continued to vibrate. Jake looked into my eyes once more. It felt like he was trying to subconsciously communicate that he could take me away from it all, and take care of me, even if it was for the night.
“Jake,” was all I could let out before he leaned his face, inches from mine.
“You’re my sweet girl, you know that?” He said looking at my lips. I’m not sure why, but I nodded, looking up at him.
“I love him though. No matter what.” My eyes watery.
“I know, I’d never ask you to change what’s in your nature,” He paused. Taking my hand into his. He brought it to his mouth, giving my knuckles a light kiss, staring into my eyes as he did this. “It just breaks my heart that you’re so loyal to someone who was entertaining someone else, even if it’s my baby brother.”
Suddenly, the curiosity was getting the best of me. Who was this girl?
“Jake, just tell me who she is.” I took my hand out of his and rested both hands on his chest. Practically pleading and trying to change the subject away from his earlier question. Surprisingly, he let me.
“You know that ex girl of Sam’s? James’ girlfriend’s best friend?” He adjusted his jacket that was falling off my shoulder.
James was one of the openers who has opened for the guys every couple of legs of their tour. His girlfriend introduced Sam to his ex girlfriend, they dated for awhile. I was told through the grapevine that she would get into Sam’s head, make him choose between her and his tasks for the band… When he finally left her, he knew he would see her again on tour, but always made it a point to let me know that it wouldn’t be by his choice. She’d be there with James’ girlfriend and he didn’t really have much to say to her, so he would just avoid her.
My stomach was in knots. Thinking of him with her again. Someone he was so badly hurt by is who he chose to break my trust with. It’d hurt less if it were someone new. I lightly sobbed, moving my hands from Jake’s chest to around his neck. Hugging him tightly, he held me.
“Jake, how could he?” I looked up, trying to find the answers for Sam’s infidelity on his older brother’s face. He gave me the kind of look that told me he didn’t know what to say.
I sniffled, trying to collect myself. I thought about Jake’s previous offer. Getting out of here… with him. As we looked at each other, I knew that he knew what was going through my head. Us, going wherever he had in mind, and losing ourselves in each other.
If anyone saw us, they would think they were interrupting, and maybe they would be, but I wouldn’t dare move till he did.
“Let me take care of you.” He said, each word laced with lust, his hands were underneath the jacket he leant me, and on my waist.
I let out air through my nose, furrowing my eyebrows and frowning my lips. In a way that said “We can’t do this, I still love him.” without saying it.
We must’ve been lost in this moment because I didn’t hear the footsteps coming from the entrance of the tunnel that led to the parking lot. Until I did.
Jake and I both turned our heads to see one of the tour bus drivers. He awkwardly smiled at us and went to start the bus.
We let out a sigh of relief, knowing that if anyone else saw us, or God forbid Sam, we would be dead.
“Now or never.” He said, pulling my face to look at his. I quickly nodded in response.
————————————————————————
We made it back to the hotel after a silent ride. As we walked through the lobby and made it into the elevator, I couldn’t believe I was doing this. Jake held my hand and gave it a light squeeze. I felt him looking at me watch the floor numbers ding on the monitor. I turned to him and smiled lazily. He smiled back, and kissed me on the cheek. He lingered there for a bit before moving to my ear.
“I’m going to make it better.” He whispered.
I felt a pool begin between my legs. It felt so wrong. My boyfriend’s brother, making me feel like this. But Sam was wrong too. I hated him as much as I hated myself in this moment. But I was so detached from reality. So drunk, so lost, and so hurt. The doors opened.
We walked out, walking past Sam’s room. My eyes followed it as if he was going to come running out of it. Jake opened his hotel door, the one conveniently next to Sam’s, softly saying my name, and pulling me into the room. He closed the door behind me.
I felt him behind me as I entered more of the room, knowing I was entering the biggest mistake of my life and my body couldn’t turn off autopilot. He came up behind me, holding me. He kissed my shoulder and rubbed my stomach. I let out a sigh, I hate to admit it, but I was turned on at the thought of what he was going to do to me.
Even though my body was vibrating, my chest was aching, and a few tears escaped. He spun me around, anticipating what would be our first kiss, but he was met with my eyes, full of tears. His face was surprisingly comforting. He pulled me in for a hug. The kind of hug he always gave me.
“We won’t.” He said, as I fell apart beneath him. He kissed my forehead and held me close. I let out wailing cries, mourning what was once Sam and I, and what I almost allowed to happen. I was sick with myself as much as I was with him. I was trembling, and my throat felt raw from the noises escaping it.
A string of words kept flowing from me, “Jake what did I do? I’m horrible! I lost my best friend, I love him, how could he do this to me? I love him, Jake, I love him!”
He lead me to the bed since I began falling to the floor in his arms. He shushed me, rubbing my back.
“You didn’t do anything, I did this. Sam’s at fault, I’m at fault. Not you.” He said firmly.
I weeped. Picturing what almost happened and what transpired with Sam and his ex in the next room the night before.
“Y/N, I am miserable right now. I almost took advantage of your vulnerability because I lost the love of my life. I betrayed my brother, don’t blame yourself right now. Please. I will make this better.” The last sentence was said in a new tone than it was in the elevator.
———————-————————————————
I woke up to knocking on the door. The room was pitch black, my face was damp, and my throat was sore.
The knocking turned into banging.
“JAKE, LET ME THE FUCK IN. YOU PIECE OF SHIT, OPEN THIS FUCKING DOOR.” The banging persisted, and the voice was familiar. It was Sam.
My body was frozen, I felt Jake rustle beside me.
“Stay here.” He said, making his way through the dark, turning on a lamp on his way to the banging door.
I sat up, and looked at my phone on the nightstand, I tapped it to see any notifications. My phone was completely blown up from Sam and even a few texts and calls from Danny.
“Please answer Y/N”
“Y/N”
“Hey”
“Y/N, Sam is trying to call you, he’s going crazy right now, he’s not telling anyone anything. What happened? Are you with Jake? He’s trying his phone too. Just let me know if you’re okay.”
Jake opened the door, and Sam busted through, immediately attacking Jake.
“YOU THINK I WOULDN’T FIND OUT?” Sam yelled as he threw a punch at Jake, who was dodging his fists, telling him to calm down.
“YOU LET YOUR RELATIONSHIP FALL APART SO YOU TAKE MY GIRLFRIEND? DID YOU FUCK HER? THE FUCKING TOUR BUS DRIVER TOLD ME HE SAW YOU WITH HER.” He pushed Jake up against the wall. Sam hasn’t even looked towards the bed, where I was.
Sam had Jake by the collar of his shirt, I was frozen.
“Sam.” His name escaped my lips, raspy.
He turned around. Eyes blood shot, hair a mess. He let out a breathy, sarcastic laugh. He turned to Jake and raised his fist, aiming for his face. Jake, again, dodged his brothers fist, and finally used his strength to throw Sam to the floor.
“JAKE!” I screamed, finally being able to jump up. Jake looked at me while Sam struggled beneath him, cursing at him. Jake gave Sam a firm gaze, holding him down.
“YOU FUCKED HER? YOU FUCKING TOUCHED HER?” Sam yelled.
“I could’ve but I didn’t. Because I fucking love you, and I love her. And YEAH, I am miserable right now, I wanted to take her from you because of it, but what the fuck is your excuse?” He spat through his teeth. Sam writhed underneath him.
“I DIDN’T CHEAT ON Y/N, I WOULD NEVER DO THAT TO HER,” Sam yelled “Y/N, PLEASE LISTEN TO ME.” Jake let Sam go. He stood up in front of me.
“I didn’t sleep with her, I didn’t kiss her, I didn’t even hug (her name), PLEASE believe me, listen to me, LOOK AT ME.” He said, tearfully, shaking me by my sides as I struggled to keep eye contact.
I finally caved. I nodded in return. Waiting for him to continue. Jake gave me a kind smile, and patted Sam’s shoulder. He told us he’d be in Josh’s room if he needed us, and left.
Sam led me to sit on the foot of the bed. He held my hands and continued to speak.
“She was on tour, like I said she would be. She told me that one of our roadies and her had a fling after her and I split two years ago. She said she wasn’t expecting to see him again and it was hard to avoid him because he was working close with James’ team.” He looked into my eyes, waiting for me to let him continue. I nodded.
“She said she was scared of what he would do if they were alone because he threatened her, I told her she could hang around us. I have no say in who’s fired, I tried to relay it to our tour manager but he said that the roadie was one of his best employees and wasn’t dropping him this far into tour because of something that can’t be proven. I was stupid. It was a way in. Last night she said he said something about knowing which room she was staying in…”
Again, I nodded. He hasn’t broke eye contact, or tried to retrace his story… He was telling the truth, and I let him continue just that.
“I didn’t want to deal with her, believe this. But our tour manager was being a dick, I know she’s not the talent and doesn’t have needs in their eyes, but I felt obligated to help. I told her to come to my room, stay there the night, and I’d go to Dannys… She came to my room, and immediately, I knew something was up, Y/N. She started asking about you, and how serious we were. I asked her what her intentions were. She joked to get me back. I told her to get out, but she wouldn’t. She insisted that the story about her and this roadie was still true, and she wanted me to protect her. I left her in my room, and I slept in our photographers room. I knew that if I slept in Danny’s, she wouldn’t end this till she got in. And as for her shirt, one of mine was missing from my suitcase, I assumed she took one of mine to sleep in and left hers for me to find. And baby, I’m so sorry that you found it. That’s awful.” He put his hand on my cheek, forcing me to look at him.
“You don’t have to believe me, I know this sounds like a load of bullshit. But please, ask anyone. Anyone you want. They’ll tell you what impression I fell under.” His eyes pleaded with mine. Even though it was hard to give into him after this entire day, my gut was telling me that he was telling the truth.
“Sam,” I tried to find what I was going to say next. That I believe him and that I love him of course, but I couldn’t say that without being honest about what almost transpired between Jake and myself. He waited patiently.
“I almost did something unforgivable tonight, to spite you.” I continued. His chest physically sunk, and his eyes welled up.
“Almost? Not just Jake?” He spoke, loosening his tight grip on my hands.
“I’m not proud.” I teared up. My voice was still raspy.
He cleared his throat, letting out a sigh, opening his mouth to ask “How far?”
“He asked me to come here and I did-“ I started, but Sam put his hand on my thigh, trying to get me back on track.
“Baby, how far?” He said firmly, but still sadly, nonetheless.
“He kissed my cheek in the elevator… when he got to the room, he kissed me here from behind.” I ran my fingers along my shoulder, showing him where. His face was stoic. He looked at my cheek and then my shoulder.
“He stopped when he realized it’s not what I wanted. I promise he did, Jake is not at fault. He feels like he is, he says he is. He’s just lost right now. He doesn’t want me like that, nor do I want him. I never did. It’s always and only been you, Sam. I was in such a bad place. My life felt like it was over.” I began to weep again.
He pulled me into his lap, let me cry, and held me… Like he always did. He kissed the top of my head while I soaked his shirt in my tears.
“It’s okay. Him and I will talk, but you and I are okay, baby.” Sam let out. I was relieved, but still felt like it wasn’t.
“I’m so so-“ I tried to reply, but he stopped me with a kiss. He let me go and looked deeply into my eyes.
“Don’t you say sorry. I’m sorry. I could’ve told you from the jump. But I was so in my own head about that night and I took it out on you.” He kissed away what tears were on my face and stroked my hair.
He always knew how to make me feel at ease, and right now I did… For the first time all day.
“And by the way, I was texting her earlier to never show her face around me again. You’re more than welcome to look-“ He said, reaching for his phone, but I shook my head in protest.
“Not now…” I said softly, looking into his eyes. He placed his hands back where they were, supporting me in almost a cradling like position.
“Sammy.” I spoke out. Knowing he knows I only call him ‘Sammy’ when I’m feeling soft.
“Yes, Baby doll?” He tucked my hair behind my ear.
“Take me to bed?” I rasped. He smiled and leaned forward to me, into a passionate kiss. His tongue dipped between my lips, searching for mine. I let out a small whimper, and he let out a deep moan in return.
He kicked off his shoes, while I transitioned from his arms to straddling his hips, wrapping my arms around his neck. I started to grind my throbbing, clothed pussy onto the denim covering his hardening bulge. His hands made their way onto my ass, guiding me on top of him. We let out moans and soft laughs in between our passionate kisses.
I took his bottom lip between my teeth, earning a low groan from my beautiful boy. He lightly tapped my ass.
“Lay down, baby.” He instructed, and I did as I was told. Resting my head onto the pillow, I looked up at him… He was undoing the buttons on his shirt. I leaned forward, helping him. Once the buttons were undone, I worked it down his shoulders. I went to undo the buckle on his belt, but he moved my hands away, and had me lean back by gently pushing me.
“I’m taking care of you.” He said firmly. I thought of how Jake said this earlier, but the truth is, only Sam could.
I blushed under his gaze while he removed his pants, leaving him in his briefs. His cock was rock hard, Sam caught me looking at it pulse for me. I bit my lip lightly and went to cover my face, squirming my legs beneath him.
“Don’t be shy, now” He let out a little laugh and so did I. He began undressing me, removing my dress, then my slip. He looked down at me in my bra and panties. Completely flushed and exposed, just for him. I opened my legs while he got between them.
“Sammy,” I began. His eyes traveled up my body and landed on my bashful gaze.
“Hmm?” He hummed, running his hands up and down my thighs.
“I love you too. I didn’t really answer you before…” I said, still trying to make things right.
He smiled lightly and pushed air through his nose.
“I know you do, my girl. Don’t worry.” He replied looking up at me. He began to slowly remove my black lace panties. Once they were discarded, I let out a shakey breath… Sam laid down next to me and gave me a tender kiss. He spread my legs wider for him. He took some of the wetness from my core and dragged it to my clit.
He began rubbing it just the way I like it. Immediately, I’m saying his name over again. He dips his skillful fingers into my pussy, toying at my g spot. He alternates between my clit and pussy while kissing my mouth, and slowly moving open mouthed kisses down my neck.
I pulled the lace of my thin bra down, exposing my hardened nipple. I start squeezing the sensitive bud, suddenly it’s replaced with Sammy’s wet mouth. His hand is solely focused on my clit while his tongue works my nipple. I reach my hand down to his throbbing cock. I cant think of anything more intoxicating than the thought of him deep inside me.
He moans onto my nipple, creating vibrations that intensify the sensation.
“Sammy, I need you, please.” I let out, desperately.
He releases my nipple and doesn’t let go of my clit while now, starting to lean over me.
“Aw, look at you.” He says, looking down at me, grinding into his hand, squeezing the nipple he just had in his mouth between my fingers.
“My girl wants it rough, huh? My pretty girl wants me to cum inside her perfect little pussy, right?” It doesn’t matter how sweet Sammy can be, he loves to see me fall apart for him. He wants to see me cry for him, beg for him. Always loving a show put on for him.
“Yes, Sammy, baby please, I need it, give it to me.” I moaned out, feeling like I could cum just watching him drool at the sight of me. He removed his hand from my clit and removed his briefs. His cock sprung up for me. He positioned himself between my legs.
He kissed my forehead, lining himself up with me, before sinking into my aching pussy. The sounds alone from my wetness were enough to prove how much I needed him. He fucked into me, bringing his hand to my clit once more.
He kissed me deeply, pulled away, and looked into my eyes.
“I love you,” He groaned while pumping in and out of me.
“I love you too.” I moaned, unintentionally tightening my walls around him. My arms were around his neck, while his chains danced from his chest onto my neck.
We both moaned into each other’s mouths, he brought up his other hand to relax my jaw into a more opened position.
He let a slow, string of spit into my mouth, earning a pornographic moan from me as I swallowed it. He mouth hung open while watching me do so as he continued to fuck deeper into my pussy.
His fingers sped up on my clit and he sped up his pace while hitting my g spot. I felt a familiar knot in my stomach, and he could tell I was close by my walls clenching and face alone.
“Cum for me, baby, cum on my dick, let it out, little girl, let it go for me.” He cooed as I came. I wrapped my legs around his torso, tightening them with each second of my release.
I felt his cock twitch inside of me.
“Cum inside me, Sammy, give it to me, please, please-“ I panted. And with that, he came deep inside of me. Moaning and panting, sweat beads on his forehead, pressing his to mine. He found my lips and kissed me hungrily, like he was starving for my mouth.
Our eyes were still teary eyed from earlier but extra teary for the passionate love making we just shared. He collapsed on top of me. Pulling himself out of me, he rolled onto the side of my body, now pulling me into him.
“I love you, so so much, Y/N.” He said softly.
“I love you so much more, Sammy.”
#sam kiszka#sammy kiszka#sam kiszka smut#sammy kiszka smut#greta van fleet#greta van fleet smut#fanfic#greta van fleet fic#sam kiszka x reader#sam kiszka x y/n#smut#jake kiszka#jake kiszka x reader#jake kiszka x y/n
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Follow you wherever (Alessia Russo x Reader)
Lying on the pitch has always been comforting for you, when you were much younger and your parents forced you to play sports you'd just lie down on the grass while making daisy chains.
Alesia being a football maniac was funny to you, while you lay down on the grass Alessia would be tearing it up on the pitch. Just like now, as you watch her take shot after shot.
Eventually, when she finally tires, she makes her way over to you, flopping down with a huff, "My left foot is so bad." You scoff gently before looking over at your blonde…friend?…girlfriend?…you didn't really know.
Sure, you had kissed a few times (loads of times) but you hadn't exactly discussed what you were. You knew you loved her and she knew she loved you. You had technically been seeing each other since you were 5 when she got on one knee and asked you to marry her back in juniors.
"Your definition of bad is different to mine." Alessia throws you an appreciative glance before leaning in to kiss you softly, you push her back reluctantly leaving your hand on her chest.
You give her a quick kiss on the cheek before falling back down on the grass, Alessia copies you. The skyline started to darken, you were in awe at how the moon looked.
"Look at the moon.
"I have to tell you something."
All your thoughts of the sky vanish as Alessia cuts you off, you sit up giving her your full attention. "I got a college offer." Your head snapped towards her, "Less…Oh my god!" You jump at her nearly knocking her over.
"I'm so proud of you." Alessia gives you a weak smile, "I'm not gonna go." You pull back giving her a stern look. "Yes, you are." She shakes her head.
"No..."
"Yes.."
"No..
"Yes."
It went back and fort, "Alessia Mia Teresa Russo, you are fucking going to that college." She huffs at the use of her full name, "Its in America." All your defence crumbled as she stared at the ground, worrying her lip between her teeth.
"Oh...wow…okay!…UCLA?" She nods making you swallow roughly, "How long?" Alessia took a deep breath, "4 years..." The silence hangs between you, suffocating.
"That doesn't change anything." Alessia scoffs, changes everything!" Her voice raises indicating she's getting frustrated.
"Less, please. You're goi-“
"No I'm not! America is all the way across the world, I'll be away from my family, I have a good thing going here and most importantly you are here!"
"Don't do that!"
"Do what!"
"Blame me for not following your dream!"
"I’m not blaming you."
"You're going, end of story."
"I am not leaving you."
"Alessia! We don't even know what we are!"
That seemed to stun Alessia as her mouth open and closed desperate to come up with an answer, "Your my..”
"You're going."
"Please."
"Im not letting you waste this opportunity!"
"What about us?"
"What about us?"
"I love-
"-Don't you dare do this to me."
"But, I don't want to leave you." There's a tremble in her voice that makes your heart ache,' "Less, we have the rest of our lives to be together. You're 17, you've been working for this your whole life."
"It's so far away."* You nod gently biting your lip before moving closer to her, "I know, but it will be so worth it. You'll get recognised over there. Do you know how big that would be."
The silence hangs between you once again, 'When do you leave?" You dreaded the answer because no matter how prepared you could tell yourself you were the idea of Alessia being all the way across the world scared the shit out of you.
"Next week."
"Promise me you'll go?"
Alessia hesitated before turning to look at you, "I promise." You nod giving her a gentle kiss on the cheek, "I'll get Ella to look after me, yeah?" Alessia scoffed giving you a teasing nudge before wrapping her arms around you.
As you stood there hugging her, you already knew you'd be following her out. The goodbye the next week was one of the hardest things you've ever had to do.
All Alessia's family was there along with some of her England team mates to wish her the best, Ella had her arm wrapped around you for comfort while you watched your girlfriend walk away.
You lean your head on the brunettes shoulder when she's out of sight and she presses a quick kiss to your temple.
"It's gonna be okay." You sigh nodding, "I know. I'm going after her.?"
Ella huffed knowingly, "I figured."
…
3 months had passed, you were exhausted after the 9 hour flight but you knew it would be worth it. You were so grateful for Lotte, you had told her about the plan and she was fully on board, sick of hearing her blonde friend mope about you.
After reuniting with her you finally got some rest in the car as you knew it was going to be a long drive. Once you got there you were practically shaking, what if she's found someone better over here? What if she's not happy to see you?
That all vanished when you saw her though, she hadn't spotted you yet so it gave you time to look at her, 3 months wasn't a particularly long time but absence makes the heart grow fonder.
You wish you had a camera the moment Alessia saw you, she froze in her place the glass of whatever she was drinking was out of her hands and next thing you knew you were wrapped up in her strong arms, her face buried into your neck.
You could feel her tears dropping down your neck as you let out a watery giggle, "| missed you." Alessia had to choke down a sob as she clutches onto you for dear life.
You didn't notice Lotte and the other girls leave Alessia's dorm room, you both were too caught up in your emotions to even think about anything else.
You stood there for hours just holding each other, Alessia's face was bright red and her eyes were puffy when she looked at you, her green eyes pierced into yours, "FaceTime does not do you justice." You giggle before cupping her face and brining her into a searing kiss.
Alessia eagerly reciprocated as she grabbed you waist pushing you back into her study table, your hands tangled into her hair pulling her as close as you can as she hoists you up, your legs immediately hook around her back and that's when you knew things were getting very heated.
You and Alessia had been threading carefully back in England never going further than making out on her bed, you and her had always wanted it to be the right time and you just knew there would be no better time than now.
"I missed you so much..." Alessia breathed out as she kissed your neck placing you down gently on her small bed before immediately crawling on top of you.
…
You woke up to the sun peaking through the curtains, Alessia had her arm draped around you as she slept behind you. You stretched out your legs feeling the slight soreness from the night before.
Alessia stirred, she placed a soft kiss to the back of your neck before pulling you closer. "I can't believe you're here." Her morning voice was a rarity to you, whenever you had sleepovers at each other's house you were never allowed to sleep in the same bed.
You had heard it a few times over the phone but it was always hard to catch her due to the time difference. "I've missed your stupid face, you know. She rolled her eyes playfully before pinching your side, you rolled over in her arms to face her.
You leaned in to give her a lazy kiss, Alessia sighed against your lips, her eyes stayed closed after you pulled away, "God, I've missed that." You hum while she busies herself playing with your hair.
You both catch up not that you have to as you've spoken every day since she's left, she cried for another 10 minutes when you told her you were staying for as long as she was.
You spent that whole day wrapped up in each other, making up for 3 months. You were heading back from a restaurant she took you to, you spent the whole night putting on fake American accents while laughing like crazy people.
You found a patch of grass and next thing Alessia knew you were lying there, arms spread out a blissed out smile drawn across your face.
You stared up at the sky getting that sense of deja vu as Alessia grabbed your hand brining up to her lips before peppering it with kisses.
The moon was breathtaking here, you thought it was pretty in England but this was a whole new level.
"Look at the moon..." Alessia let out a chuckle, "It'salmost as pretty as you." You scoff playfully giving her a nudge.
You both spent the rest of the night giggling while staring up at the stars.
#alessia russo#alessia russo imagine#alessia russo imagines#alessia russo x reader#woso x reader#muwfc x reader#woso imagine#woso imagines#engwnt x reader#woso
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BAD FEELING part. 15
HI. So, Daisy had a bad bad day (week... month...) in this chapter. What do you think about Inez? And mommy Holly? I admit I'm a little upset about Holly lol.
MASTERLIST
«You really think this is good for you.» You know your mother means well, and you honestly love her so much, but something shifted when you came back.
After a week you can sense it. She doesn’t get that in the games, and before the games, you had to do things you didn’t want to because you wanted to protect the people you cared about. She still thinks Clark’s death has been unfair. She blames you for this, even if she never tells you that. And she blames you because you changed, you get along with a Capitol girl, basically because you survived.
And to think she doesn’t know what you had to do with the orders of President Snow. She would hate you. She already hates you because you managed to get black eyeshadows from ashes with Effie.
«Yes, I think he is good for me and I’m good for him.» You deadspat, and you are sure of it. Well, you are sure he is good for you, because there’s no feeling matching when you are in his arms. The other part… not so sure. It is a fact you only gave him problems. He didn’t want to be attached to you, he didn’t want to like you, you forced his hands. You forced his hands by being adorable and incredibly sexy, but it doesn’t change the result.
«Of course you are good for him, you are twenty four, he must be on cloud nine.» She spat. Holly has to stop the urge to close your door and ground you, you can see it on her face. She wants to behave like you are sixteen.
«He doesn’t care about those things.» If you have to be sincere it’s you the one who always wants kisses and cuddles.
«Like hell he doesn’t.»
«Mom!» You yell, exhausted. You don’t push a hunger games tribute this way, not even your daughter. It is dangerous. You only want to get out, have some fresh air you can’t have in Thirteen, or at least speak with someone who is not sure you are the devil reincarnated.
«And that woman! Are you friends with Effie Trinket? The woman who reaped our children? A woman from Capitol City? Hell, the woman from Capitol City!» You feel the urge to scream at her again, even if she’s your mom and you never did it before. But Effie is the most precious person after Haymitch, and she’s being incredibly unfair.
«Holly, Effie is a good person. She protected me.» You try to tell her, but she doesn’t want to listen to you, she is so sure she is right. You used to think it was a miracle you looked so alike when she adopted you: both with brown hair, same height, heart shaped face. Now it just irritates you.
«After she said your name in the reaping?»
«Mom! When I was there she made sure I got out alive! If it weren't for her… she was just a girl who decided on a career when she was too young and then got trapped. She is here, right? With us, with the rebels.»
Holly only scuffs and eyerolls. She’s insufferable.
«It is okay if you are friends with the girls from your games, because you shared a traumatic experience, but her-» At this point you snap. You can’t take it anymore.
«You don't get to decide who I talk to, who my friends are or the man that I like! Stop it. I’m not a child.»
«Then stop acting like one! And clean your face, you are ridiculous.»
With that she tries to take your arm and push you to the sink, probably to wash your face, but you resist her. It’s not District Twelve anymore, hell you are not twelve anymore and you won’t let her treat you this way.
«Get off of me!»
«What is going on here?» The door is open, and at that moment Perla must have been near your room. Her room is close to yours, she is with Lora.
You are spending a lot of time together, the three of us, usually with Effie and Finnick. Sometimes even Katniss, but she’s with the oldest Hawthorne boy most of the time.
The tears from the moment don’t come, because you need to be your best self. Today is the day they let you see Haymitch. You wanted to put on a pretty dress, but of course the grey suit is what they permit, so grey jumpsuit it is.
«Nothing.» You tear up, but you don’t want to cause a scene. «My mom was just leaving.»
The nurse is not Inez, it’s an old woman who seems sweet, but she gives you a look before leaving. You only imagine what she must think of you, these days you figured people have two sides of you: you are either a victor slut who used her body to seduce a poor old guy, or a naive little girl who fell in love.
«Don’t tire him.» She recommends. Maybe she's right about that.
«I promise.»
You turn to Haymitch, who’s apparently sleeping. It’s not his best form, he is tired, sweaty, he has dark circles around his eyes and his hands are shaking when you reach them.
«Ehi.» You whisper.
«Ehi gorgeous.» He strokes your hair. He’s clearly in pain even doing this. How could they do that to him? «So gorgeous.»
«They told me you are the perfect patient.» You sound proud. You expected him to be an asshole, but he’s behaving and that means this hell is going to end soon and you will have your not-boyfriend back.
«The hallucinations are gone, they told me.» He reassures you. «I’m just… so tired now…»
«Sleep!» You suggest, and you climb into his bed to be closer to him. «If you want to sleep I’ll stay here with you. I’ll watch over you.»
He manages to bring you even closer as he pulls you in a hug. Nothing feels good like his hugs, even when he is trembling and shaking. «I missed you.»
That’s a big thing. He never admits things like this. He can say things like “Hey sexy” or “Gorgeous”, but he is not sweet. He doesn’t admit things, because things you say out loud could go wrong.
«I missed you too.»
«How’s Katniss?» Katniss is a wreck, she doesn’t have Peeta and that is torturing her. She spends all her time with Gale or Primrose, which is a good thing but she is a sixteen years old who doesn’t deserve all of this madness. The poor kid.
«She’s surviving.» You tell him the truth. There’s no point in saying “She’s good!”, he knows when you lie.
«She’s a survivor, that kid.» He has a violet shake, which he suppresses almost immediately. You can’t see him in such pain. «And you?»
«I’m okay. I stay with Effie, she’s incredibly strong. And I’ll begin a class for the kids.»
He just hums. You hope he is calmer now.
«Mh, this thing we have, you know…» His hands reach for your ass and you can’t help but giggle. «Does that mean I get to do this whenever I want?»
«Yeah.» You nod. He changed the subject with something lighter, of course. But you think it could be a confirmation too, that you are not tired of him, of waiting, that you didn’t meet a cute boy from district thirteen and decided you didn’t want him anymore.
«And this?» He kisses you, and you are a little embarrassed that you are so assertive to his touch, but you feel like heaven.
«I’m yours, Abernathy. Every inch of my body. Can you please get out of here soon?» You caress his hair, and you wonder if they have showers there. Did they change his sheets? Washed his face? Or he is left to his destiny?
«I’m trying.» He kisses your cheek. «I really missed you. The hallucinations were hard. They tied me up.»
«They told me I couldn’t come.» You feel guilty. They tied him up, you repeat in your mind. These bastards.
«Yeah, not a pretty sight. I really had a crazy thought… but now you are here.»
«I’ll always be here if you want.» You whisper against his lips.
«I want it, yeah.»
There’s a moment of silence, and you really believe everything is going to be okay.
«Do you have any alcohol?» He murmurs in your ear, but you shake your head.
«Haymitch, you know if I could… but they won't let me.» You try to make him resonate, but you feel his grip become stronger.
«Please, love, you have to.» His body is on yours, his hands on your wrists and you begin to feel threatened. In his right mind, Haymitch would never hurt you, you are sure of that. Now he is not in his right mind. «You don’t understand, they are killing me.»
«I don’t have any alcohol, Haymitch please! Please, you are hurting me!»
You can see the realisation in his eyes. He immediately let you go, and you see red signs on your wrists. You are both exhausted and terrified, your eyes are watering now and his are the image of the shock.
You are the one who shakes it out first. «It’s okay, it’s okay we knew it was going to happen.» You caress his cheek, and you even try to smile. It doesn’t work.
«I hurt you.» He states, still upset.
«You didn’t want to.» And it hurts, but it’s not his fault. You get that. He just slipped, he was going so well. This is wrong, a rehab facility is not supposed to be like this. You know it exists in Panem, in Capitol City and District One mostly, but you can bet it’s not this violent.
«I hurt you.» He repeats. You can’t say anything else, because Inez comes into the room. Maybe it was a change of turn.
«Time’s up, little lady. Oh, you are not supposed to be in the bed.» She points out, a little annoyed.
«Don’t go with her!» Haymitch suddenly shouts, and this time it is you who are shocked. You don’t expect this kind of reaction. «Don’t, she’s not real.»
«She is real, she’s the nurse.»
The hallucinations again. You shake your head, but he is hugging you and shaking you and you are not strong enough. Fuck, it hurts.
«She has broken ribs, she can die!»
«You stay away from her, you demon!»
You are a little lightweight, but Inez must have a lot of strength because she pulls you out so quickly you almost don’t know what happened, it’s all a blur. The next thing you know is that you are crying your heart out, curled up on a chair, and Inez is patting your back.
Inez seems like a good person. She has blonde hair, with just a few white strands, and sweet green eyes. She must have been beautiful when she was young.
You don’t want to admit it, because you just had a fight, but part of you wants your mama.
«We have to check the bandages. If you don’t feel okay you must tell me immediately, do you understand me?»
You nod, but you don’t feel so bad. Not physically.
Oh, cut the crap, a voice tells you. Your voice. He is not in his right mind. He has been captured and he has an addiction. He was hallucinating, for fucks sake, he didn’t want to hurt you.
You don’t know if the voice is right, or is simply too used to a world where violence is justified. He isn’t in his right mind, but you still don’t deserve it.
«He didn’t want to.» You feel the urge to defend him.
«Still did it.» It’s the only comment the nurse makes.
«He is a good man.»
She pauses, she’s clearly conflicted, but then she speaks again. «That is how your life will be. I’m not saying he is a bad man, for what I’ve seen on television he is… well, he is problematic at least. And okay, he may be a good man, but are you ready for this?»
You try to stop her to defend him, but she seems very determined to go on. «You are young. Too young for him and he should know better. You won’t want to spend your evenings cleaning his vomit because he had a bad day.»
You gulp. The memories of that particular day in the penthouse return. But then again, he was trying to save your life, he was desperate because District 13 didn’t want to risk the mission to save you.
«You seem to know a lot about this life.» You whisper.
The speech succeeded in something your mother failed to do: giving you doubs. You return to your room puzzled and confused and at dinner you watch Perla and Lora giving you gossip about the new district, Finnick so upset about Annie, and Effie glued to your side (because all District 12 hates her, you admit) but you can’t participate in the conversations.
She just chuckles. «My father, my boyfriend’s father… It's a habit in our district, girl. And you have the chance to get out. Get. Out. Don’t trap yourself in something you want because he behaved like Prince Charming for five minutes.»
It is little Primrose who wakes you up. «Tomorrow you will give us lessons?» She asks. She is very polite, but you can hear incertitude in her voice.
«Yes, Prim. I’ll be your teacher.»
«I don’t want to sound rude…» She begins and you smile at her.
«I don’t think you could even if you wanted to.»
«…What for?»
You stroke her hair before you answer that. She is just the sweetest person alive. «This war will be over, and I want you and your classmates to be able to read, count and write. You want to be a nurse, right? You’ll need maths. Plus, books are a joy to read. They really could bring happiness! I don’t want you to miss that.»
Her face lifts up. «With that I could be a good nurse?»
«From what I’ve heard you already are a good nurse, but you can improve.»
She looks a little happier now, and after she nods and go away, at her table with Katniss and Mrs. Everdeen, Effie sighs.
«What’s wrong, Effs?»
«Nothing, she is a wonderful kid, isn’t she?»
Oh, guilt. She was the one who picked her name, she was the one who started all of this, and she was the one who grew fondly of Katniss and now she loves her like her own daughter.
She has a soft spot for Primrose too, you can see it.
«They know you are a good woman. Maybe not Mrs. Everdeen, but Katniss loves you, and Prim recognizes a good heart.» You squeeze her hand. «You are as a rebel as I am, Effie Trinket.»
«You are so good with her. You are wonderful with kids. Tomorrow will be a great day, and you know, maybe you’ll want some of your own too.»
You swallow but try not to make it clear. Yes, kids Haymitch, so safe, such a great idea.
«Let’s go to sleep, I’m exhausted.» You declare, and you get up. «Goodnight.»
#fanfiction#haymitch abernathy#haymitch imagine#haymitch x fem!reader#bad feeling#haymitch abernathy x reader#haymitch abernathy x you#the hunger games#woody harrelson#haymitch x reader#daisy pinecone
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omg those billy things you just wrote... i was gagged!
but imagine his muse coming back after a fight and she is all like "ok, if you are going to call me a groupie then i will act like one". like walking away from him whenever he wont pay attention to her, openly flirting with eddie, and wearing the sluttiest outfits possible! and eventually it gets a little concerning so billy is like "wtf are you doing? youre mine." *cue the angsty and frustrated smut* but then after she just feels so angry, she did what billy wanted but he still wasnt happy! she is just so confused about her life, and i feel like this is maybe a month before she disappears at daisys house
-🦋
so real and so her
like you're young and confused and don't really know what you want or what he wants, so it's from this mixed place of I'll be the thing he says he wants but also an angrier, fine, I'll do what he wants and see how much he likes it. plus this is the beginning of the end, so the allure is starting to become even less fantastical.
but when billy gives you the look or comment that you're being too needy, you give him what he just want, space. for you to be just like every other rejected groupie and cozy up to the next member of the band. so the moment billy casts you away with his attitude and snide comments, you've cozied right up next to eddie.
eddie who will always respond to your advanced, lets you be touchy, isn't scared to be just as touchy and flirty back. it always grates on billy, but it does so even more when you're not stuck to his side at all. if he calls you don't come running desperately back, you take your time. you even flirt with warren a little and don't shy away from showing yourself off in extremely low cut tops and short shorts. the tension in the studio is palpable, so much so that even warren gets the message and tries to interact with you less, but eddie doesn't give a care in the world to how billy feels, so you stay cuddled up with him on most breaks unless billy specifically asks for your attention. and yes during this time you're totally is hiding off with eddie to suck him off or fuck because if billy doesn't want you like that, you can be the groupie mostly focused on eddie, who does make you feel valued, special, important.
and this behavior continues at the house, you'll take rides from anyone who offers, cuddle up with whoever, although you don't insert yourself anywhere like you're scared you might be overstepping. which confuses everyone because you're a friend, but it's like you've demoted yourself from that role fully to a groupie in the background. and billy is sick of it and during a break asks for you to come over to him and he's pulling you into a closet.
"what the hell is up with you?"
"what do you mean?"
"you know what I mean, you're-"
"look, billy, if you wanted your dick sucked all you had to do was ask. or I'm sure someone else would love that about now." before you can sink to your knees he's keeping you up.
"what do you mean by that?" he's seething.
"you know exactly what it means." and his lips are on yours, pushing your back against the shelf. he's quick to mark up your neck and chest.
"you're my girl. my fucking girl you get that? you're here for me." by the time he's got your legs wrapped around his torso as he pounds into you you're still just lost in whatever is it he's proclaiming. "I say you're my girl, tell other people that, bring you to the studio, you get talked about in the fucking papers, and you don't even talk to me in the studio. fucking ridiculous"
"billy-"
you're so close to pure ecstasy when his words are throwing you for a loop, "you close, baby? making you feel better then eddie, aren't I? you fit me perfectly. eddie could never-"
"billy!"
you gasp when he harshly thrusts up, "eddie could never take care of you the way I do, could he?"
you want to refuse to answer, to give him the satisfaction, but then he's hitting that spot that nearly has you losing complete control and you can't help yourself. "no billy, feel so fucking good. need you, oh my god, billy, so fucking close!"
he's smirking up against your jawline. "that's what I thought. it's okay, baby, let go. I got you, got my girl." and when you've both finally come undone and he's got you securely back in the ground. you're more confused then ever. "okay, now that you've thrown your little temper tantrum, we can move on, baby."
you're scoffing, "you're fucking unbelievable." you're storming out of the closet and he's following behind in disbelief.
"you acted out for attention, like a fucking child and I indulged you. why are you mad, now?"
"I don't know the hell you want from me, billy! 'youre just another groupie, realize your place. I could have anyone, you're not special.' and if I do that you get upset because I'm not only paying attention to you! and then it's all, 'you're my girl, just mine. I care about you, need you around. my girl. my girl. my fucking girl.' you make no fucking sense and I'm sick of it!" you don't care that the whole band is watching when you grab your purse in the studio.
and billy knows you're right, that he is constantly throwing you for a loop. he has no idea what to say do he just grabs your arms, puts your forehead to his and takes deep breaths until you reluctantly do the same. "why don't you just come sit by me and help me fix the sound up, baby?" and then you just start crying because of how overwhelming this all is and he nods, takes you on the other side of the glass to sit you down as he has the band run some instrumental things. his hand tracing patterns up your thigh as he works.
and this is all just yeah part of the buildup of her having enough lmao
#wanda 💋#billy dunne#billy dunne x reader#billy dunne x reader angst#eddie roundtree#djats x reader#🦋 anon
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(just thinking some Alpha thoughts... when he was being moved from Freelancer facilities, but before he was "Church")
He wasn't supposed to activate the unit, or engage with it in any way.
New input could confuse it later. They wanted it to be as much of a "blank slate" as possible. It was safer to let it "sleep" until the implant process was over.
That doesn't mean accidents don't happen...
Agent Florida "tripped" in the room on the transportation ship that held all the equipment related to Project Freelancer that needed to be set up ahead of time at the new Sim Trooper bases. Most bases had some radio equipment from the beginning, but others needed to be properly enhanced for "special missions"; certain training exercises for the Freelancer Agents, various psychological tests suggested by Price, the occasional engagement of REAL threats... and this. This was a VERY special mission.
On one of the shelves was a small, see-through container that held a tiny electronic device. This was the unit for the Alpha AI.
When Florida caught himself from falling, his hand pushed against the container. A little light on the unit flickered on.
"Oh, dear. It looks like I just picked a bouquet of oopsie-daisies!"
The thing about Florida, and the way he spoke; he always managed to sound genuine, no matter what, usually being some combination of unsettling and cheerful, threatening and positive. You could never tell if he was serious, or if he was putting on an act.
At the sound of an external voice, a hologram flickered above the unit; it was faint and uncertain... but it slowly took the form of a tiny soldier in pale white armor.
"Hello?"
"Well, hello there. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to wake you..." Florida greeted the AI, trying to keep it calm. "I hope it wasn't too much of a shock,"
"No... I- I just thought..." the AI shifted for a moment, as if it couldn't remember what it was going to say.
"Yes? What were you thinking?" Florida asked. He really should be giving it one of the orders that would prompt it into returning to "sleep". Once the AI was implanted, it would have more resistance to these orders... right now, it was more open to suggestion, more pliable.
He SHOULD do that... but maybe he was a little surprised, and forgot the code-words for the specific orders in the moment. Maybe he just didn't want to miss such a rare opportunity; speaking to a very unique AI, that had been created in a very unique way, and was currently in a very unique situation.
"No, sorry. I don't- I don't know... um, where are we?" the Ai seemed to almost forget about being nervous, instead becoming pleasantly interested in the surroundings.
"Well, we're on a ship. A transport ship. It has a lot of cargo, and a few passengers. We're traveling through space, going to a location that needs to be prepped before... the rest of the guests arrive. I want to make sure everything is PERFECT for them," Flowers explained.
"Oh. Are they going to live there?"
"Hmm, yes, I'd like to think of it that way. A new home, for one big happy family!" Florida stepped closer as he spoke, leaning toward the AI.
"Is that where I'm going?" the looked up at him; the 'face' was just a transparent helmet, but Florida could imagine a sensation of hope in that gesture.
"It is indeed. In fact, it wouldn't be complete without you," Florida replied.
"Well, that's... good. I guess. I don't know if I'm actually THAT important... I don't know... I don't really know who I am," doubt. A hint of fear? Perhaps. Still too dazed and 'emotionally numb' for that to mean anything. "Um. Who are you? I mean- do I know you?"
"Well, we haven't been formally introduced before, and this is the first time I've had the pleasure to speak with you. But I think you used to know me," Florida let those words hang in the air, curious how the AI would react.
"I did? I guess I forgot. Sorry about that... I feel like I forgot a LOT of things. Or maybe I lost a lot of things, but I can't remember what..."
"Hmm, that is a bit of a pickle, isn't it? Like a tune stuck in your head, but you can't remember the words to the song. Well, for now, I don't want you to worry. I'm here to make sure you have a safe trip, and once we get to your new home, you can get settled, then-"
"Knock-knock!" came a voice at the door; no actual 'knocking' taking place. The door slid open automatically, and another soldier in full armor strode in.
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MMU AS BBC GHOSTS HEADCANONS
Ok so firstly who's who:
Hazel - Alison
Daisy - Thomas
Beanie - Kitty (that feels rlly weird to say)
Kitty - Fanny
Lavinia - Julian
Amina - Mary (I STRUGGLED SO MUCH WITH WHO AMINA WOULD BE AND I JUST SETTLED ON MARY SINCE SHE WAS THE LAST ONE 😭😭)
Aleksandr (mmu discord coerced me into spelling it like this and i havent looked back)- Mike
George - The Captain
May - Robin
Nuala - Humphrey
Eric - Pat
Button House is obviously Fallingford
We're gonna say for this that it was a very distant relative of Aleksandr's who fled Russia alongside his grandmother (Countess Demidovskoy) and left Fallingford to the Countess
The Countess decided to give it to Aleksandr for a place to live in England so he doesn't have to go back to America and deal with his family trying to get him to take over his dad's company
Hazel and Aleksandr are married and have decided they're going to live in England
Just like in the show, Lavinia pushes Hazel out the window causing her neck injury and, Lavinia being Lavinia, feels no remorse whatsoever
Hazel finds that she sees May like a wee sister
since I hc the Countess as a very Orthodox Christian I feel she may have rubbed off on Aleksandr a bit and so when Hazel tells him she can see ghosts he isn't just as on board as Mike is
he then whips out the rosaries and holy water and begins blessing the house with the Russian blessings his grandmother taught him even though he isn't even that religious
all the ghosts just stood watching him, Daisy making fun of the length of his arms
Eric carries Nuala's head around most of the times and tries to stop the others (May, Lavinia, and Daisy) from playing football with her
quite often they would just sit down and talk about their lives with each other and would occasionally gossip about the other ghosts
Kitty is nicer than how Fanny actually is and when Hazel has gotten over the fact that she can see ghosts, Kitty gets Hazel to tell her everything about what's trending and how her and Aleksandr met
Eric, Beanie and Nuala have dance parties every week and always try to get George to join in
George follows Aleksandr around and pretends as if he's Aleksandr's second in command
Daisy becomes extremely melodramatic about Hazel and constantly tells her how they're literally like Sherlock and Watson and how Hazel should unalive herself so they could run off the the holiday home in Fallingford grounds and start a new afterlife together where they're hopelessly in love
Hazel constantly has to tell her that she is happily alive and married
Aleksandr does a seance sooner than Mike does it in the series and ends up seeing a shadow of a rat and smelling burning due to Amina walking through him to follow the rat and freaks out
Amina then has to go get Hazel to restore Aleksandr to normal
George and Lavinia meet up in the library every Monday, Wednesday, and Saturday evenings to talk about mostly politics but also other things and they tell the other ghosts they're having a "grown ups meeting" and no one else is allowed
These "grown ups meetings" quite frequently involve Lavinia getting Aleksandr's computer and them both cyberbullying with Lavinia teaching George modern slang
Beanie's sister is Clementine and that's why no one liked her and poor Beanie had to go through a hard time after her mum died
BARCLAY IS UNCLE FELIX
Aleksandr shared his wagon wheel with him
Daisy had a big fat crush on Hazel (if it isn't obvious with her being Thomas)
George also has a big fat crush on Aleksandr but isn't just as obvious and dramatic as Daisy and the only ghost to actually notice this is Lavinia
Kitty's husband is Hugo and he pushed her out the window after creating a manwich with the butler and the gardener
i have been thinking abt this for ages and I've finally done it and let me know if you want a part two!!
also I am literally just thinking about Lavinia as Julian like it's just so perfect thinking about it makes me so happy I don't know why
#murder most unladylike#mmu#robin stevens#bbc ghosts#tmua#the ministry of unladylike activity#I'm on the verge of rewriting the whole of ghosts with mmu characters
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🚘 STORM ON THE ROAD ⛈️
BANDMATE TELLS IS WAS NOT ALWAYS SMILES TRAVELLING WITH ELVIS PRESLEY IN THE 50s
DJ Fontana, in a 1999 interview, recalls the tiring schedule working with Elvis, as a member of the Blue Moon Boys, and how they use to deal with this among the group.
Q: How was it like travelling with Elvis at that time? You'd see him generally in a good mood?
DJ: Yes, most of the times he was. He'd get in an ill-mood when he'd get tired. If we've been on the road for three or four weeks, at the end of that fourth week he'd get a little bit irritable because he was getting tired, 'cause he did a lot of work even when he was young. He worked hard onstage. We [mentioning Scotty Moore and Bill Black too] knew when he was in an ill-mood, and we'd say 'Oh, leave him alone. He will be alright in a couple days.' And he'd rent a room, maybe, sometimes, for a couple days, and [when] come back out and he'd be 'Okay, guys, let's go. We're ready to go,' and he was fresh as a daisy. But you had to know when to leave him alone, that's all.
Q: You never had any crosswords?
DJ: No, we just knew better. We could see if he was getting ill-mood or something, [and we'd] just stay away from him for a few days.
Baby just needed his rest. 🥹
PERSONAL COMMENTS TIME
Talking out of personal experience, I am not someone who gets irritated easily out of physiological needs (sleep or eat), but I certainly know people who get this way in almost a daily basis. I don't get it but I do my part and don't get in their way, just like DJ mentioned they did concerning Elvis, besides the obvious respect for others, it's a matter of self preservation.
Presley and the boys had an extremely tiring schedule and their kind of job demanded much energy stored, specially for Elvis as the front-man of the band. Taking from what we all know about his insomnia condition and all the constant nightmares issue he went through since a young age, it's amazing how Presley easily could go through 3 weeks in a row of live concerts and road travels feeling that fine as DJ told us - especially when we remember there were 2/3 concerts per day in each city they visit. Alright, he was young but still. Only by the end of the fourth week, in DJ's exemple, the intense schedule would play its toll on Elvis in a way it was clearly shown outwardly.
Let me say it, I can understand plenty what DJ is talking about when he says 'we knew when he was in an ill-mood'. My sister has this same kind of personality, and when the battery is low charged the silliest things can cause a huge aggressive reaction out of her. At times she just lashes out at anyone - anyone at all, even our parents sometimes - for the sillies things or just have some crosswords when she's tired and not in the mood for any goofiness. When she's in that kind of stormy mood, it's easy to feel the clouds coming together, not a single word is needed, no explanation. It's clear as water when the time has come we have to step back and leave her alone a little bit, either for her to unwind and have enough rest or just to let her eat in peace until she's fully in her normal self. But if we keep pushing, trying to force her to put up with our mood, man, at some point hell will break loose and we can't tell we haven't been warned. It's the same with Elvis. It's a personality thing.
Those tidbits of information on how Elvis behaved on the road can be connected to many of the 'temper tantrum' situations that are infamously known of him - specially taking place in the 70s. Of course as time went by some erratic behavior had also lots to do with the strong medication he tool, intensifying the aggressiveness bursts of Elvis whenever those happened, but the personality trait, the natural tendency, the propensity to be ill-mood at times, especially due to the physical state he was in at the time, was there beforehand. It wasn't like nobody around him didn't know what Elvis was made of. Some of them just chose not to respect it, like Colonel Parker, who should have get much more of the Presley wrath himself than what he had actually received - not a fair portion compared to Presley's friends, being Parker the responsible for the insensitive loaded schedule that Elvis had by mid 70s when he was already visibly sick, one of the main reasons the boy leaned even more into medication looking for any support to bare with the weight of being himself and having to 'keep the show on the road', but that's a whole different discussion.
Anyhow, what DJ Fontana shares goes beyond Elvis too.
I see true partnership between the boys, working together in the 50s. A bunch of kids on the road by themselves, traveling around the country, cooperating and willing to make things work out the smoothest way possible for all of them. Having the kind of sensibility to understand another person's limitations, the differences between personalities, and be able to respect that? Admirable. Although something that may seem very simple to do, leave someone alone when they're clearly not in the mood to joke around, we know it's not everybody that can be that understanding to respect someone else's needs, specially at a young age all the involved ones. Having the boys not being that sensitive to Elvis' personality, we probably would be discussing a lot of those crosswords the interviewer questioned DJ if ever took place in the 50s, maybe even physical fights and all. Great we don't have the means to do so. Those boys worked great together. It's a shame things didn't last for the longest time but they made it to the history of rock and roll, and we know they had great memories from the early years on the road together. ⚡💖
#elvis presley#dj fontana#scotty moore#bill black#the blue moon boys#50s concerts#elvis 50s concerts#50s elvis#rock and roll history#rock and roll#50s rock and roll#music history#musicians#rockabilly#elvis the king#elvis#elvis fans#elvis fandom#elvis history#elvis music
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Do you have any ideas on being a Nygmapott kid? Like I love those two dweebs so much. Like it would chaotic as fuck to be raised by them but the fits you would show up with on picture day would be immaculate and what kid doesn’t need a knife in their school supplies?
You are my dads, you're my dads! Boogie woogie woogie!
Parents NygmaCobblepot X Child Reader
Yes, I have ideas 😍 I love this concept so so much we need more of it here in this hellsite omg familial/platonic fics have a special place in my heart 💝 also I'm adding some big brother Martin! Thank you for the request!
💚 Let's start with our family dynamic:
Edward is the fretting mama hen. Remember that one episode where he reminded Jimbo and Bullock not to forget to wear rubber-soled boots? Yes, that is your dad. He's the one who carries snacks, a first aid kit, sewing kit, fire starters, anything his curious little dove needs for nourishment.
You tripped?
"Oh you poor dear! Are you alright? Let's get you up, upsy-daisy! There we go! Hmm... Does the scrape hurt? Here, let's patch you up."
Skipping meals? Oh you are never doing that especially in his vicinity.
"Dinner's rea-- what do you mean you just ate? Look at you! I insist, come here. I made you your favourite!"
Of course, the go-to person to help you with school work.
"Yes, my dove? Pythagorean theorem? Why of course I'll help you!"
An absolute delight, a touch too protective at times and would mope if you don't give him attention and will become passive aggressive because of it, bit clingy at times as well. With his intelligence, he expects you aspire to be at the same level as he is and it's okay if you don't achieve that feat. Huh, he sounds like an Asian mother.
🖤 Oswald is a bit more laid-back. Well, more laid-back compared to Edward, that is. He knows that as Penguin, myriads of enemies had pinned him and Edward at the top of hitlists, his relation with you would be put in jeopardy, therefore this brings out his streak of overprotective nature... He puts you up for extensive amounts of self-defence trainings, handling of weapons and of course, given you bodyguards. Now bodyguards is a bit extra, but your father insists.
"Little dove, I'm going to need you to take your uncle Zsasz with you in this school trip. No it's not 'too much', it's just an extra precaution. Now I also need you to take the pocket knife your dad gave you just in case and keep it hidden, because your school is a bit dramatic."
Other than that, he is more laid-back. He trusts you can take care of yourself and reassures you if ever you need help, he and your dad are always there for you and would give you anything you need.
"You need three tubs of acid? I'll lend you some funds to use and buy yourselves protective gears too. Make sure you have your older brother with you."
Oswald is the father who often sits down with his children to tell them stories and life stories, introducing figures from his past that made him as he is now (your grandmother Gertrude, of course), lessons, advice and the like as a family pass time. He feels as though the most valuable thing he can pass to his children are his stories and how it shaped him, hoping they can pave their own stories, walk their paths with their head held up high no matter the obstacles, bounce back from disasters and whatnot.
He is one of those parents who thinks their children are absolute angels.
"My dove can do no wrong! They're a sweet little cherub, they couldn't have pushed that little brat of yours for no good reason!"
And he will throw hands to those who disagree.
🤍 Big brother Martin is a sassy lad who is begrudgingly being dragged anywhere if ever his demon of a little sibling has some murderous plans to fulfil. Sneaky little thing and a smooth liar with ingénue eyes, no one would ever suspect him of staying up until midnight to bury a body with you.
"Fine, but you owe me dessert for three weeks."
As siblings, there's the tendancy to be playfully hostile to one another and that is something you both have-- such as flipping each other off when parents aren't looking, or childishly sticking tongues out, being sarcastic to one another, annoying and inconveniencing the other, etc etc but nothing will ever divide you.
"Hey dork. I'm heading out. You want something?"
💚 Edward is the "Does not want pets" kind of dad and will fight to the death to insist that pets are not needed in the household... Then after begrudgingly adopting a pet, he'll be found being an absolute sweetheart to the new addition to your family.
Each others confidant, because there are things you cannot tell your dad and father, lest they should ground you for life and your older brother Martin says not a word just so long you keep his secrets safe as well.
"Thanks for being attentive. I feel so much better."
Oh Oswald was the definitely the one that brought up the idea of buying a pet and did not stop standing his ground and doing whatever it takes to adopt a pet. If the Penguin is something, he is determined. His determination is extra strong if his children are in total agreement of having a pet.
🖤 Dad Edward and Father Oswald would be in total support of whatever their interests and hobbies their children are pursuing.
"Go ahead, little doves."
"Enjoy! Don't forget to eat your sandwiches!"
They can't promise they would always be there because let's be honest, as the Riddler and Penguin, they are most likely having the usual in and out of Arkham but goddamnit, they always make sure you're having the time of your life and aware of their support for you.
🤍 Ohohohooo, picture day would be immaculate indeed. See those two divas? What should happen if the said divas were to raise children of their own? Pass on their diva-ness, of course and with diva-ness, comes with highly eccentric, yet fashionable senses. Now expenses are not a problem for the two husband's because you know *cough* but anyways, they both give you immense amount of selections of clothes you could want and more.
Oh to pull up in picture day and pose for the camera, now there's a portrait of bad bitches right there. And family pictures are bomb of course especially when your dad is highly meticulous about props and lighting.
Martin is a little tense before cameras and has a hard time smiling for the camera in a way that he considers as more photogenic and he feels guilty for it because he thinks he is the one ruining the photos. Well you know that won't settle well with your dad and father, sending Martin reassurances. Because of that, most of his pictures are captured when he isn't looking and they turn out really well, as he was less tensed and more natural.
💚 Oh Oswald has his work desk decked with family pictures, framed and just something he smiles fondly at. Private office in your home that is, god hell will break loose if they were to use his children against him.
Edward is the type of dad with his kids photo in his wallet and will not hesitate to show them off in an appropriate setting because again, criminal life, use his kids against him yadda yadda.
In the living room of the Nygma-Cobblepot home, there is a massive painting of the family of four and Oswald is proud of it.
🖤 Teacher-parents conference are... Uh...
"Do you know why I have called you here, Mister and Mister Nygma-Cobblepot?" The teacher asks from across the desk.
"Is my little dove not doing well in school?" Oswald asks, leaning closer in worry.
"Well, I guess you could say that," the teacher says. Before Edward can comment upon that vague answer of her's, she continues. "Y/N had been causing trouble among their peers."
"Would you be more clear, Miss Martinez?" By this, Oswald's annoyance became more apparent. His child? They would never! Well, they do have the tendancy to-- that's not the point!
"Well, first they claimed to have accidentally spilled dangerous chemicals on their classmate during chemistry, something that was dismissed as just as that, an accident. Then, by the next period they were accused of pushing that said student in the flight of stair from the second floor, which they denied. Since there were no witnesses, no one was really sure but the student that fell was so sure."
... yeah, that's something their Y/N would do. That's what Edward thinks at least.
"Our Y/N wouldn't do such a thing! They're an absolute angel! Just the sweetest little creature!" Oswald had to be help down, as Edward fears that the more he leans forward, the closer he is to lunging across the table and strangle the teacher.
"Oswald, let's calm down and--"
"I AM CALM! I DEMAND Y/N TO BE CALLED HERE AND EXPLAIN THEMSELF! IF THEY WERE TO DO THOSE, THE REASON WOULD HAVE BEEN VALID!"
"Sir, with all due respect, regardless of what the reason may be it is still not appropriate for a child to push another child from the top of the stairs!"
"WHY YOU LITTLE--!"
🤍 Will you be allowed to follow after your dad and father's footsteps in a life of crime? Your parents are nothing but supportive but this life is something the deem to be a dangerous life to live, and so as much as they want you to be encouraged to do whatever your heart is set into, they will still make sure that aspects of yourself suit this life.
He knows that you know that this life truly is... Something. But he and Edward made sure your childhood was nothing but happy. Sure there was a touch of premature exposure to violence, but you turned out fine! But I digress.
Martin doesn't fully follow after Edward and Oswald, but he does some errands for them from time to time such as father incriminating photographs, blackmail materials, disposing of evidence and whatnot.
"Next time, let's lay out newspapers to make cleaning easier, okay?"
💚 If you want to become a hero? Oh boy. Oh no that won't settle well, they'd begrudgingly accept and support you... Though a bit heartbroken because of course, they would be fighting against their child if it ever came to it.
"Don't just stand there, shoot the bat! And just the bat!"
🖤 As for the family business, asking if you can take over the Iceberg Lounge oh Oswald will be more than happy! It is less dangerous than the crime life he is living and it would be the perfect opportunity to bestow you a sentimental piece! Of course he will let you take over, he believes in you!
"Oh my little dove, this will be exciting! Allow me to teach you some basics!"
🤍 Just a fun family in general. A bit eccentric, but they stick together 💝
#edward nygma#oswald cobblepot#gotham edward nygma#gotham oswald#nygmobblepot#platonic#familial#gotham martin#edward nygma x reader#oswald cobblepot x reader#request#sweetums0kitty
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The ballad of Jane Doe
Hi everyone, it's your local demon but you can call me Sol :) Here's an analysis of (or just things I noticed) The Ballad of Jane Doe from Ride the Cyclone. Spoiler warning for the latter ahead.
Something that a lot of people have talked about already is that while this song is called a ballad, it's actually a lament (mirroring Noel's Lament which isn't a lament, but a ballad). A ballad is a song that tells a story while a Lament is to express grief, regret or mourning. The members of the choir sing about their lives and pull on the lever, revealing pictures of them alive, to show that they were once someone before the accident that brutally ended their short lives. And obviously, Penny cannot do that since she has no story to tell "And no story, what a shame." We'll circle back to that later, moving on.
In the first verse, Penny talks about how people try to console themselves in grief. "Some might say, we're released, Pushing daisies, deceased, But we all know the worms must be fed." Us humans have a natural habit of trying to make sense of things that we don't know because the unknown scares us. That includes using flowery language (literally) to talk about death. Penny is very blunt and doesn't sugarcoat things, and that doesn't change when she's talking about the gross details of death, such as rotting in a box 6 feet deep in the ground.
That carries onto the second verse "There's just one - lingering fear, Oh my soul - is it here, Or is it rotting somewhere with my head?" Here's a fun fact for those who haven't picked up on it yet, Penny's head throughout the musical isn't hers, but actually her doll's eyeless head. Someone (I can't remember who, if I do I'll tag them) pointed out that Penny's eyes may be blacked out as a reference to the saying "Eyes are the window of the soul" so I guess that answers Penny's question.
To get back at the story bit I put a pause on earlier, here's the fifth verse. "Oh no soul, and no name, was cruel existence only a sham?" I love the specific use of the word "sham" here, because Jane Doe and John Doe are called Sham names, previously only used in court. Since Penny can't remember who she was before her death, the only existence she's ever known is who she is now, nothing more than a Jane Doe, a cruel existence.
Moving on to the sixth verse, "Oh Saint Peter, let me in! You must know where I've been, Won't you tell me at last who I am?" We see some bits of Penny's backstory slip through the more she talks, just like now. The Lamb siblings used to be homeschooled, as told in the description/summary of "Legoland". Most homeschooled kids are actually religious, and are homeschooled so their parents can control their religious beliefs. On that note, Penny being homeschooled is probably the reason why no one came to identify her body, since she was wearing a high school uniform and her parents assumed it couldn't have been their daughter.
The seventh verse is a little more unclear "And from the ground, beneath my feet, I hear the anguish of the street." I think it's about her being trapped between heaven and hell, and she hears the pain of potential sinners in hell. That, or the anguish she hears come from the people she once knew but can't remember, or the families of the rest of the choir. If you've got any theories, feel free to drop them below.
The eighth verse speaks for itself, "A choir never complete" the choir isn't complete without Penny, and now that she has been revived and the rest of them stay dead, that statement carries on until the very end of the story.
Moving on to the ninth verse, "And like an old, forgotten tune, A song that no one knows, Forgot how it goes, Just John and me, Forever eternally, Jane Doe." Penny refers to herself as a song, tune, melody or anything music related, that people forget as time passes (remember that bit about time, I'll also circle back to that in the next verse.)
The iconic tenth verse "And I'm asking 'why Lord? If this is how I die Lord, why be left with no family and no friends? I've got no celebration, just this consolation. Time eats all his children in the end.'" Once again, we have religious language coming from Penny. She doesn't celebrate the state that she's in between life and death, she sees it more as a consolation. Lastly, Penny refers to herself as a song, tune or melody lost to time.
Onto the twelfth and last verse analysis "A melody, floats through the air, When silence falls, does no one care? Does anyone care?" She's referring to how when she "floated through the air" ("flied" during her death in the coaster.) and died, no one cared. Nobody came to identify her body, they couldn't find her head, and after the event died down, everyone stopped caring about that nameless girl, because no one knew who she was.
Thank you so much if you've read up until now, what other details have you noticed in the lyrics? Feel free to share them in reblogs or comments.
#ride the cyclone#penny lamb#jane doe rtc#jane doe#the ballad of jane doe#song analysis#the ballad of jane doe analysis#rtc headcanons#there are some bits of canon in there too though
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Constantly thinking about the consistently prophetic nature of so many of the songs in DJATS.
Billy and Daisy write 'Honeycomb' ('we could make a good thing bad...how did we get here? how do we get out? we used to be something to see, oh baby look at us now') as their first song and then, three years later, those lyrics coming to fruition at the Chicago concert and everything really has unravelled, which is the most obvious cyclical narrative choice. Daisy writes 'Type of Guy' ('you're the type of guy who doesn't wanna talk about it anymore...what can make you laugh can make you cry, and I'm that same type of guy'), a song seemingly about seeing so much of yourself in another person, right after performing on stage with Billy for the first time (she barely knows him and yet already recognises parts of herself in him like??), linking to Daisy's confession to Nicky in episode 7 ('I think I thought we were soulmates') and Billy's to Camila in episode 10 ('she just sees me, the all of me').
Again, Daisy and Billy writing 'Let Me Down Easy' in their first sonngwriting session together which encapsulates sentiments so intrinsically linked to the push and pull of their relationship that they haven't truly experienced yet, Daisy asking him not to string her along if he's not going to choose her, Billy pining after her even though he knows he shouldn't ('don't leave me broken and free') and it can never be ('like a mirage on sand'). Billy writing 'more fun to kiss, than to be with' when he hadn't done that at all and then making up for it while (attempting) recording. Hell, even even Daisy's song in episode 1 ('By Myself') is a bit of a foreshadow to episode 8, and the choice of song playing in the background at Teddy's house in episode 5 ('it's too late to turn back now...i believe i'm falling in love') is also cool.
Not an especially niche observation or unique narrative tool, but it's nice when all parts of the production are used to tell the story.
#listened to a podcast episode recently with scott neustadter because i am a Nerd and was happy to hear that this was intentional#and discussed in the writers' room and the studio#as well as the noticeable evolution in both daisy and billy's styles after they start collaborating#and i just love when production is detail-oriented#daisy jones and the six#daisy/billy
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Hey guys, welcome back to Atheisms. Clearly You are gluttons for punishment. I feel like i might have run long the last couple of times, so i shall try to keep things brief!
I wanted to post this one for my loved ones that may be stalking my tumblr profile actually. Firstly, if that's you, welcome! i think you're awesome and brave to come read this. I allow anonymous questions on this blog too, so you can ask whatever you want without anyone knowing. But i don't pull punches here and i speak my mind in its entirety. This is my thinking place, so be prepared to hear my thoughts!
I think that Theists (people who believe in a God of some sort) often worry very much about the people in their lives that turn out to be agnostic or atheist. Being a former Christian, I have a pretty good idea what those worries might be. Here's a couple of specific worries they will likely have.
Fear that my immortal soul is in jeopardy of spending an eternity of unrelenting suffering in literal darkness and flames where i will burn without dying for crimes that are finite (and minor). In essence, the Theist (christian) believes that their God will torture me for eternity. Not destroy me, (that would be better for me obviously) just torture me. For no purpose other than revenge. No wonder you're afraid! I'm sorry that God feels that's necessary. Not sure what i could have done to deserve all that. Is it just because my AuDHD brain has a hard time accepting fantastic claims that have no testable or verifiable evidence? Well, hopefully I'M correct and I'll just get to stop existing!
Fear that, now that i no longer believe in God, somehow my moral fortitude will collapse, sending me, anyone close to me, and those in my care into the depths of sin and despair. Now, if that's you, i gotta tell you that's really hurtful. But, i don't blame you exactly. You worry about that because the church has pushed upon you the belief that only The Church knows what's right and wrong, when they clearly have no idea themselves. They can't even seem to all agree if the LGBTQ+ community are actually really human beings that should have rights or not. Not sure why we're relying on the guidance of an organization that is clearly exclusionary, bigoted, theocratic, endorses (yes, still) slavery, and whose highest figures of moral authority have been found guilty of awful sexual crimes against the most vulnerable demographics in the world, all over the world! (Can you read that last sentence out loud in one breath?) i think we can find a better standard for morality then that.
Fear that the person they love will suffer some kind of reprisals for their (in this case,) non-belief. This is, of course, a valid concern. Atheists are amongst the most disliked people in the world according to an article written for scientific American By Daisy Grewal on January 17, 2012 (https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/in-atheists-we-distrust/)
4. Finally, it may cross the mind of a caring theist that the person is choosing to be rebellious against god, essentially throwing an existential temper tantrum. The problem they have with this is that many theists believe and fear a God of tough love who will:
A. punish me in some inscrutable, or perhaps even supernatural, way (see point #1)
B. Just let me fail in some spectacular way that is likely to harm me.
Also, this suggests that the atheist is childish in his non-belief, which is also pretty insulting. Especially when you consider what children are known to believe in.
Those are just some of the reasons why loving theists worry about their apostate loved ones. Isn't it sad that most of these concerns are actually a fear of what their god might do? What does that say about Him? A lot, i would say...
Listen, don't worry about me Fam! If God really is in control, and he doesn't want to have to toss me in the lake of fire, He definitely knows how to get ahold of me, right? Even with my free will intact, there should be a way for a being such as Him to reach me right? So what's to worry about? God says he didn't want anyone to perish right? So if he exists, I'm sure he'll straighten me out somehow, despite my great learning! (Obscure tongue in cheek bible reference.)
Happy questioning!
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songs that make me think of being human characters (because yes this show creeps into absolutely anything else I enjoy)
World in My Eyes by Depeche Mode - Mitchell
Ok first of all Dave Gahan in the 90s really reminds me of Aidan Turner so there's that as something more obvious. But I always picture Mitchell singing this to Josie. The lyrics of "Let me show you the world in my eyes" reminds me of Mitchell bringing human women into his world, letting them get to know the real vampiric him, and letting them help him. For decades, Josie saw the world in Mitchell's eyes while Mitchell for seemingly the first time since becoming a vampire saw the world as a human once again.
Also the song is quite clearly about sex (even as an asexual I can see that) and we've seen multiple times how sex is associated with blood for Mitchell. He bites Lauren in 1x01 during sex and then feeding becomes intertwined with sex with both Lauren (since they feed on each other) and with Daisy (since they have sex while still covered in victims' blood and lick each others' fingers). Lines like "I'll take you to the highest mountain / To the depths of the deepest sea / And we won't need a map, believe me" seems like metaphors for sex but it also makes me think about how as a vampire, Mitchell is capable of traversing so much more of the world since he has so much time to spare.
Sinking by The Cure - George
So I could've gone with Lullaby because of that 2x01 scene where it's used really well in the show but I think Sinking has a lot of lyrical similarities to George's experience. Robert sings "So I trick myself /
Like everybody else." George, I think most especially in season 2, really tries to trick himself into thinking he can have a normal life. He tricks himself into thinking he can just put the wolf to sleep with no consequences and he tricks himself to the point of leaving Mitchell and Annie to move in with Sam, hastily proposing to her, and coming up with an absolutely ridiculous toboggan excuse to explain his monthly absences.
The song's line "The secrets I hide / Twist me inside / They make me weaker" also reflect George's experience. George learns that trying to hide what he is only makes things worse for him. At the parent-teacher conference, George finally "sinks" to rock bottom, failing at maintaining his ideal normal life by keeping the wolf separate. But by returning to Nina (someone who knows him for who he actually is, who understands what he goes through, and who he can be totally honest with), he is able to float back to the surface.
The Chain by Fleetwood Mac and I'm So Afraid by Fleetwood Mac - Annie
I feel like both these songs really capture Annie's struggles. I'm So Afraid reflects a lot of her loneliness due to having only a couple people who can see her, her fear of Owen, fear of the spirit world trying to drag her back, fear of losing her friends in season 2. Also the line "So afraid / Slip and I fall and I die" is too perfect for a character who died from being pushed down the stairs.
The Chain reflects Annie's relationship with Owen really well. The metaphor of the chain makes me think both about how in death Annie is figuratively chained to Owen because her original unfinished business was to confront him for killing her. But I also think of the unending chain of Owen's abuse. We know he was abusive to Annie but we also learn that Janey is sometimes scared of Owen too. Owen just continues his chain of abuse with the next woman he dates. The line "And if you don't love me now / You will never love me again" sounds like an ultimatum an abusive partner would make, like it's Owen forcing Annie to tell him she loves him otherwise he'll threaten to break up with her (or worse). The line "You will never love me again" sounds like a command where the abuser is forcing the other person to feel a certain way and that seems like something Owen would do to Annie.
Bedroom Hymns by Florence + the Machine - Lucy
The show uses Florence songs a lot (shoutout to the use of Howl in that one promo which I find super nostalgic) but this one (which wasn't even released yet at the time of season 2) really makes me think of Lucy and Mitchell's relationship told from Lucy's perspective. The song uses a lot of religious imagery intertwined with strong erotic desire and I can't help but think of Lucy's conflict between her feelings for Mitchell and her assigned mission to kill him which is rooted in anti-vampire Catholicism. Florence sings "Such selfish prayers and I can't get enough" and Lucy definitely can't get enough of Mitchell while also trying to reconcile her selfish feelings with her duty to Kemp's mission.
Baby Criminal by Viagra Boys - Tom
While Tom is not nearly as sociopathic as the protagonist of this song (he's quite the opposite in fact), there is something about the idea of how we all start out as innocent babies but can go on to lose that presumed innocence later in life. The chorus of "Used to be a baby, now he's just a criminal" reminds me of how Tom was once a human baby with a normal life, only to then become a houseless vampire-killing werewolf living in the woods. He and McNair steal to survive (becoming petty criminals) and while he is a very sweet and loving person, that is often in conflict with his highly skilled and trained vampire-killing. The chaotic instrumentation of the song does a good job of depicting a kind of inner conflict that makes me think of Tom's conflicting sweetness and vampire-killing tendencies. Also there's even the line "They said that he was tryna build a nuclear device" and we know about Tom and his bomb-making.
#i need to find one for hal#and need one for nina#being human#being human uk#being human bbc#john mitchell#george sands#annie sawyer#tom mcnair
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can we get a preview of the nxt chap?
Sure! The next chapter is meeting the friends and will give us our first outsider look at the relationship between Peter and reader!
Vio stumbles on you working studiously at the kitchen table late into the night.
Your hair is piled into a crown atop your head in loose bundles, secured by colorful hair clips. Your school books are spread across the table as you fiddle with some ugly shrub. You've broken up the roots with a metal chopstick and you're clipping away at dying overgrowth.
He watches you silently labor—you hum as you work, your lips twisted in concentration, your nose is scrunched up. You squint at the plan like it's a puzzle you are close to solving.
"Unless your goal is to massacre the poor thing, you're doing a shitty job."
You startle, plucking off an entire healthy stalk. You curse and press the stem back to the plant like you expect it to magically reattach before dropping the greenery on your plate of plate scraps.
You frown at your mistake and Vio smirks, gesturing to the crime scene of dirt and roots covering the tablecloth. "But by all means," he draws, "if a bloodbath is your intention, continue."
The plant is ugly. It's covered in brown stems and yellow leaves, the flowers are holding on for dear life despite the wilting—daisies?
"Chamomile," you answer his silent question. "I found it dying in a hardware store... I'm trying to save it."
Vio looks at the pile of dirt and clippings you've amassed on the table and back at the plant. It's sparse in it's lingering life—each surviving cluster a different length, like a child's hair after discovering scissors for the first time. "Looks like you're doing a shitty job at that."
"I wouldn't say that," you mumble. You don't sound annoyed yet, but Vio can tell that given some time he could push you there. "They're hardy plants—very popular in teas and herbal medicine. I think that's why the Victorians decided it would symbolize patience in adversity."
“You think I give a shit about your weeds?”
You hum, letting the meanness slide off your shoulders, as you fuss with the flowers. After a long moment you answer, "I don't know you well, but I don't think you would be talking to me if you didn't care at least a little bit. And besides, I think you have more in common with my weeds than you're willing to admit."
Vio frowns down at you.
"You think I'm like one of your flowers?" He asks it meanly, spits it like he's caressing it with his tongue. He wonders if you think he's pretty—
"Flowers need sunlight, kindness," you explain and you still haven't looked at him. It spares him the embarrassment of having to worry about what expression he images might be on his face.
You finally peer up at him, the movement causes your hair to spill over your shoulder. You meet his eyes, blazing like a flame. Vio had not thought much of you when you first met... you had seemed small, quiet. He had mistaken that for mousiness—
That was a mistake.
"I think you could be like that too," you start after a moment, "given a little patience, a little warmth."
Vio says nothing, uncomfortable under the weight of your gaze. He thinks, faintly, that you must see things as they are.
Finally he opens his mouth to ask, "Why do you pay her rent?"
You pause for a long moment before looking away and allowing your fingers to resume their task. You murmur, softly, "I don't know how much of her story you may know, but Lucy has gone through more than most. Some people... they need more care than others to flourish."
Also bonus:
“What’s that?” You point towards where Chamomile is curled on Vio’s chest.
Vio smirks. “A cat.”
"I know that," you sigh. Vio snickers, enjoying the way you experience your exasperation with your entire body. "I'm trying to ask why you have a cat."
#vio your boyfriend#Vio learns how to be a good friend in this chapter#we love a goth egg with zero canonical personality that we can push our own cat supremacy agenda through#and in the water i found you#drabbles and sneak peaks#asks
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