@yokelish reminded me and I can't stop thinking about it again

The Snow Queen's most loyal knight, a boy with a shard of troll's mirror in his eye.

Except that there's no Gerda. There never was a Gerda and there never will be a Gerda. No one will come. And also the troll's mirror might be showing the truth this time.

Or maybe all the Harbingers are like that.

"Perhaps it is fair to say that only those who possess an obsession close to or even exceeding the level of delusion might be willing to join this group."

(from the Funerary Mask description. I do think the mirror stands for something Khaenri'ahn though)

trans male!adult! talonpaw x trans female!leafpool hypokits

(talonpaw warrior name in this au is talonpelt and crowfeather in actually in love with nightcloud instead of him wanting to be loyal to windclan )

Warriors Ship Hypokits: Adult!FTM!Talonpaw x MTF!Leafpool Edition

In this AU, Squirrelpaw is the one who dies killing Sharptooth instead of Feathertail, and Crowpaw asks to be named Crowtail in her honor instead (because Crowsquirrel doesn't sound right). Talonpaw completely breaks down when his brother Smokepaw plummets to his death. He can't bring himself to keep going and just tells the others to just go on without him. He refuses to move another step and no one really knows what to do- Rowanclaw doesn't want to leave their apprentice, but the mountains are dangerous at night and the clans need to keep moving. ThunderClan's Medicine Cat apprentice Leafpaw solves the problem by just picking him up and slinging him over her shoulder. The two end up traveling like that every day while on the Journey. They both bond over the deaths of the closest cats in their lives, and continue to meet up once the clans all separate in their new territories. Talonpaw also doesn't get killed by Jaques and Susan, another ShadowClan apprentice does. Leafpool and Talonpelt earn their names and soon fall in love with each other. When Talonpelt realizes that he's pregnant and the two panic, breaking off their relationship. Talonpelt later has a litter of three kits, not disclosing the identity of their other parent:

Alderleaf- brown tabby molly with amber eyes. Cis molly, aromantic asexual lesbian. This universe's version of Hollyleaf. Alderleaf is very different from her canon self. She doesn't care too much about the Warrior Code, seeing it as something archaic that needs to have many changes and revisions done to it, although she does respect it to a degree. She also is pretty uninterested in StarClan as well. She often challenges authority out of the desire to improve the world around her and better the lives of other cats. Her power is future sight, and she would be the one with the dreams about The Ancients. She is not too happy about getting a power from StarClan but accepts it with relative grace. She is a Night-Stalker, then Deputy, and then eventually becomes Leader after Rowanstar steps down (replacing Tigerstar 2).

Ravenwing- dark-gray-and-white tom with blind amber eyes. Cis tom, demisexual demiromantic. This universe's version of Jayfeather. Ravenwing is still a snarky, prickly cat who doesn't let others in easily. While he was trained as a warrior apprentice for a time, he suddenly decided to apprentice under Littlecloud as a MedCat alongside Flamepaw. Why? Well, it's because Ravenwing is the one with the cross-clan romance. He became close to the WindClan Medicine apprentice Kestrelpaw after they met and decided to become a MedCat so the two could be together (MedCats can have romantic relationships with each other as long as no kits are involved). It also doesn't hurt that he's actually very good at being a Medicine Cat as well. His power is dreamwalking and sensing the emotions of others. He's uncomfortable with his powers because he is constantly invading the privacy of other cats. As stated above, he is a Medicine Cat.

Panthersmoke- massive dark gray, almost black, tabby tom with amber eyes. Cis tom, heteroflexible polyamorous. This universe's version of Lionblaze. Panthersmoke is mostly the same as canon Lionblaze except he is much more interested in battles and fighting. When he discovers that he is somehow invulnerable to physical wounds he is very happy about it. He ends up training in the Dark Forest much longer than he does in canon due to a combination of general lust for battle and just not being the smartest cat, and is the sibling that gets trapped in the tunnels with Fallen Leaves (maybe he still accidentally kills Russetfur in a fight? because killing a cat in battle is fine but this is a cat in the same clan as him so its bad). He'd come back for the final battle against the DF like Hollyleaf does in canon, but wouldn't die because he is invulnerable. He is a Warden.

eren jaeger (Attack On Titan) - ISFP

eren is a true IFSP - his dominant Fi seeks feelings of action, and honours his own beliefs and values. anytime eren says “i’ll kill the titans” or anything he says about his goals are driven by Fi. rarely do we ever see eren try to see the other side’s reasoning or why the titans eat humans pre time-skip, unlike armin, who indeed is an Ni dom and asks “what does it, no, they want?” the second he is confronted by the female titan. in season 2 episode 8 after he is confronted with the truth about bertholdt and reiner’s titan identities, he instantly shouts, deems them psychotic mass murderers and announces that he was going to “make you die the most excruciating deaths possible”. ISFPs who display the negative aspects of Fi suffer from a lack of objectivity, are unable to relate to things outside of their personal experience and treat their feelings as fact, unaware of their own biases. pre-time skip eren is all of this and never considers exactly why reiner and bertholdt are titans. only once does he actually weigh his options and make sense of what is happening, rather than immediately having an emotional reaction to it, and that is when ymir, a Ti dom, reminds him of his situation. signs of a Te grip are prevalent here - he was inclined to blame and reproach before he employed any rational thought to his circumstance. small hints of his Ni developing appear here when he begins to rationalise on how to escape, and what being captured may mean for the future and the scouts, but this is all shrouded in how overbearing his Fi is, i really don’t see how it can be overlooked.

throughout all of the manga, eren’s dominant Fi is at its optimal expression when he cries to ramzi in Chapter 131, “i’m sorry, i’m sorry…” optimal Fi expression helps dominant Fi users feel deep empathy when seeing people suffer, and works to ensure that every person has the freedom to authentically be themselves. even though eren knows he is going to kill ramzi, he cannot hold back from saving him, and crying to him is a heartbreaking portrayal of Fi in a doomed character. In the case that he was an Ni dom, eren would find it worthless to approach ramzi in spite of the future - which he actually initially thinks before saving him from being beaten, a sign of his Ni developing but his Fi overpowering it.

additionally, an unhealthy dominant Fi can foster feelings of instability, self-righteousness and self-pitiness. whenever eren is confronted with the damning reality of the titans’ existence he reverts from a strong willed and passionate Fi dom to one who is all of the aforementioned and above all, self-blaming. the greatest example of this that i can currently think of is in season 3 episode 9 during rod reiss’ abnormal titan attack on orvud district - eren’s Fi was so unhealthy that after rumination on being the cause of so many deaths and his overall role as “humanity’s saviour” (which is a self-righteous assumption, albeit true-ish), he begins to blame and pity himself so much that he started to physically beat himself up until he bled.

extraverted thinking (Te), being his inferior function, is naturally the least accessible to him, and therefore historically the least used. pre time-skip eren shows symptoms of Te grip. Te is an assertive function and tackles challenges head on and above all, its defining feature is that it applies logical, objective reasoning to the outside world. pre time-skip eren’s Te grip meant that he was ready to pick a fight about anything disagreeable, and had an overpowering urge to correct everything that is ‘wrong’. Te grip causes inferior Te users to recognise and dislike problems wherever they see them, yet offer no solutions to them. seldom did eren ever solve problems, he relied on erwin’s dominant Te for that and followed suit, or found guidance through armin. come the time-skip, and we are confronted by a strategic and assertive eren; his Te has noticeably developed. although, he has an extremely destructive expression of Te, i.e: abuse of power and position (as the founding titan) to get what he wants and believes the weak (his enemies, marleyans, the warriors and briefly the scouts) get what they deserve. he breaks out of jail, uses extremist ideology and manpower (the yeagerists) and ignores the chain of command, and his friends’ pleas to complete his goal. unhealthy Te users tend to be blind to nuance/context and see everything from a black and white, "i'm right and you're wrong" stance. they also have an extremely inflexible approach - rarely being convinced to change their ideas and plans. eren shows ALL of this: his Te is so influential that he is blind to any other approach to the Rumbling offered by the scouts or even zeke, since we know he doesn't activate a "small-scale" rumbling, but the whole thing.

alongside his developed Ni, eren’s character seems to do a complete 180 but it’s only a development of his Ni-Te. in my opinion, the reason why his shift in personality is because alongside an actual Ni-Te development, his facade makes it so that the strategy and stoicism he has adopted becomes pronounced. an INTJ wouldn't have trouble with healthy expressions of Ni-Te since it comes naturally to them - think of yelena: whilst all of this is happening, she remains the most pacific and rational person on paradis island. eren seems calm on the surface, but the emotional stress of having to rely on Ni-Te is definitely there. you can see it in his table talk with armin and mikasa. he attempts to stay calm in the beginning but all of the emotional stress comes bubbling to the surface in an outburst of unhealthy Fi rage. something else i think it's worth mentioning is that functions operate in oppositional pairs that push and pull against each other, creating internal conflict. eren’s singular worldview and morals in seasons 1-3 meant there wasn’t any room for internal conflict, but after seeing the other side of the wall, his Fi and Te are constantly in conflict. eren’s newfound Te, wants efficiency and order, but how does he fare with losing his humanity and treating the world as a machine as his Fi is challenged for the first time?

an early signal of eren’s Ni development is the thwarting of his previously healthy Se expression in season 3 episode 22. with Ni's future orientated intuition, causing him to be uninspired by sensory experiences, his Se gets shut down as he loses his happiness to the future. eren cannot bring himself to have fun at the beach, nor experience what he and armin dreamed about from a young age, instead, he points toward the horizon, towards the future and is utterly defeated by its prospects. this is honestly so sad, it’s as though he withers away as a person after the vision of the future.

developing Ni needs a lot of introspectivity, maturing and objectivity for a dominant Fi user. eren attains these traits in 2 ways; first, he actually peers into the future through the paths. this is sort of a cheat code into developing Ni, but it nonetheless dictates how he acts post paths vision. Ni is a future orientated function, and it experiences the world through what will happen. since eren already knows the future, his Ni expression is almost forced to mature. however, the second way that Ni is developed by eren naturally is when he runs away to marley and lives among eldians in the liberio internment camp.

contrary to suffering from a lack of objectivity due to negative Fi expression, eren is confronted with the other side of the wall. as he learns about the rest of his world, he slowly becomes more objective and understanding - his worldview has broadened, and he indulges in the part of Ni that approaches the world with a unified vision. albeit a weak Ni expression, which gives him difficulty in making wise decisions in season 4 because of a lack of clarity and no positive vision of the future, eren’s Ni develops nonetheless.

this becomes evident when we contrast his talk with reiner in season 2 episode 8 to his talk with reiner in Season 4 Episode 5. in the latter eren employs a mix of Ni-Te, almost showcasing his newfound functions to us, the reader, and reiner. eren is more calculating, authoritative, objective, and aware of his long term goal and its consequences.

TRUE COLORS ~ Ch. 3

You want to start the series? Chapter 1

Pairing: DBH!Connor x OC!Maya

Words: 2325

Warnings: none; Connor is adorable

After another long day at the Chicken Feed truck, Maya was glad to be back home. The neverending rain got replaced by soft falling snow, how it got announced. As she entered her apartment, Maya shook off the snow from her cost and got greeted by the soft female voice of her intercom. A nice warmth and her favorite ambient music were flooding her own four walls. That was home.

The tall skyline of Detroit rose behind the windows, its lights sparkling like million candles in the distance. One by one, Maya switched on small lamps for more indirect light and atmosphere. It was just past eight but already dark. From the right, she heard a low plop.

"Hey, Trevor. You're awake. Good morning, little one.", Maya said and greeted her small, nocturnal gecko in its terrarium. The small creature croaked happily as it saw its owner. Maya sprayed water for more humidity and removed an old leaf.

"It's freezing cold outside. You can be happy to be in there where it is so warm.", she said low, closed the glass door of the terrarium and decided to take a bath. A long, hot bath would be the right thing to end this long work day and to start her evening.

*

"You have a visitor.", the intercom announced. Maya lowered her pencil and looked confused at the digital clock of her stove.

"Now? Who would visit me now?", she asked into the empty apartment. Trevor had no answer. It was past 2 AM and there was no one who would visit her to such an hour except Gary, who would have some kind of trouble. Maya sighed, stood up and answered the door. Surprise wouldn't be even the right choice of word to describe how Maya felt as she opened the door.

"C-Connor? What...what are you doing here?", she asked, still with the handle holding in her hand to close the door whenever necessary.

"Lieutenant Anderson suggested that I shall visit you.", Connor said and looked kinda lost. He had followed Hank’s instructions and yet, it seemed to be wrong again.

"Visit me? Why?", Maya asked puzzled. She watched how Connor, whose hair and shoulders were covered in snow, looked at a point in the distance. His LED flashing yellow.

"To talk about emotions.", Connor answered and looked back at Maya. She knew that she still looked at him with confusion.

"Okay, help me a bit here. I'm confused and have no idea how I could help you. Is it because of your case? Happened something there?", Maya asked directly and noticed how Connor relaxed a bit. That was a field he could control. Suddenly, she felt the coldness of the hallway on her naked feet, so she stepped aside.

"Come in. It's getting cold.", Maya said softly and let the android in, “What happened?”, she asked, closed the door and followed Connor.

"We were chasing two deviants and I...I had trained my gun at them. They were right in front of me but...", Connor started his explanation while he stepped into her living room.

"But you haven’t shot them?", Maya asked as he didn’t end his sentence. She tried to keep the nervousness out of her voice but held her breath.

"N-no... I... I couldn't.", Connor answered and looked at the ground while his LED was spinning yellow. Maya released her breath and relaxed. But she was also concerned about the state of the android.

"So, you didn't shoot them and that troubles you?", Maya asked softly. Connor nodded and this time, she gave him the time to speak when he was ready. He stopped at the wall and looked at her paintings.

"I got sent by CyberLife to investigate the spreading deviancy. The phenomenon that androids seem to start to feel. I got programmed to hunt and to stop deviants before it’s too late. To prevent something bad from happening.", he said automatically as if he was just repeating something he had said hundreds of times or what was an essential part of his code.

"But you couldn't shoot the two androids even if they were right in front of you? You acted against your program?", Maya asked, slowly understanding what the android's problem was. Connor was shifting between fulfilling his mission and obviously developing emotions on his own. For him it was problematic to process everything properly. Maya was sure that there was nothing in this world that would be more difficult for him right now.

"I... I don't know how that could happen.", Connor said and looked back at Maya who leant against her couch with her hands shoved into her front pockets.

"Can you tell me more about the androids? Or the case?", Maya asked calmly.

"It were two girls from the Eden Club. One of them killed a guy... accidentally.", Connor answered, remembering the early evening.

"Why did she kill the guy?", Maya asked, now, truly interested. Until now, she had just heard a few rumors about androids developing emotions. But murder was a whole new level.

"She said she was just defending herself as the victim started to hit her. She feared that she would die and so she... She...", Connor said and stopped.

"She defended herself to run away with another android?", Maya asked and connected the dots.

"Yeah... Lieutenant Anderson said the two girls seem to be in ... love.", Connor said and drew his brows together as he processed the said. Since he had started to talk about the case, now, it was the first time where his LED circled rapidly in a blinking yellow and a hint of red. For Maya the indicator that this was his main problem.

"They were in love? And as the one told you why she did it you couldn't shoot her?", Maya asked and Connor nodded. Once again, the android looked through her apartment to distract himself.

Connor scanned the area out of habit. The gecko croaked as it watched, very interested, how the android walked through the apartment. Next to the terrarium was a desk with sketches scattered over it. A bigger pad laid in the middle of the desk. A sketch of a person was drawn but it wasn't finished, just the outlines, so Connor had no idea what it would be later. Next to the desk was a canvas stand with a painting in the making. Several shades of green were smeared across the canvas and created an illusion of depth.

On the wall behind the stand, Connor saw finished, colorful paintings. They were paintings of geckos and plants like copies of the plants that were spread in the apartment. Connor scanned the plants. All of them were real and healthy with the right hydration. Another painting of her gecko hung at the other wall and Connor was looking at it for a few minutes. Maya walked over to him. His LED had calmed down back to blue. She was glad to see the android to be more relaxed again.

"You're very talented. Are you a painter?", Connor asked, looking at Maya with curiosity.

"Yeah... I'm currently studying art to get my bachelor's degree.", Maya said and looked at the painting one last time before she walked over to the couch. She signaled Connor to follow her. Maya sat with crossed legs in one corner of her couch and Connor sat next to her, well-behaved like a kid with his hands folded in his lap and with a straight back.

"So, how I see it, you have troubles processing the fact that you couldn't shoot the deviants how you should have.", Maya said cautiously. Connor nodded but stayed silent.

"Was it a conscious decision you made?", she asked further. Minutes were ticking by before Connor looked up at her. His brown eyes looked soft but sad. His face held a confused expression. Maya laid her hand reassuring on his arm and she noticed how his LED circled yellow. Maybe processing her question or her touch.

"Take your time to answer. We have all the time in the world.", Maya said low and softly with a smile.

"It was a decision I made. I decided not to shoot because...", Connor admitted finally.

"Because?", Maya asked softly. Connor looked from her hand into her eyes.

"I saw no reason. I knew I had to shoot them because my program, my mission, demanded it but I... I didn't want to.", Connor admitted low and blinked several times as he realized what he had said. Maya smiled softly at him.

"You made a decision on your own, Connor. It was your own decision to spare these girls because their death wasn't helpful for your mission."

"But I.. that must not be! I have to fulfill my mission to stop the deviants.", Connor said troubled.

"I'm convinced you will be able to find a way to solve this case without killing someone. There is always an alternative. To spare someone's life is always better.", Maya said and watched how Connor calmed down. His LED turned from yellow back to blue and slowed down.

"You said something about love earlier.", Maya asked and tried to guide the conversation to the next important topic. The reason why Hank had sent this android to her in the middle of the night.

"Y-yeah... Hank said the androids, the two girls, would be in love.", Connor explained and looked confused again. For Maya, he looked totally cute like this but she had to focus back on the current situation to keep a clear mind.

"You now, love is a good thing. There is no need to stop it. Love is the biggest power in this world.", Maya tried to explain a complex emotion.

"But they're androids. They don't really feel something. Their emotions are just errors in their software. They're emulating them.", Connor said, what sounded more like instructions in a manual.

"Do you really think that?", Maya asked, interested in his answer. There was something in his eyes that betrayed him.

"I.. yes.", Connor said but Maya saw the insecurity in his eyes. It had been a mechanical, programmed answer which would come automatically.

"What is love?", Connor asked suddenly.

"Oh, uhm... you can't explain that easily but I will try it. Love connects people in a powerful way. There is the bond between parents and their kids. Between siblings and of course, between two people in a relationship. When you love someone, they are the first thought in the morning when you wake up and the last before you fall asleep. You are willing to do anything for the one you love. Sometimes you fear to lose them because without them you wouldn't feel complete. There are people who would die to save the one they love. Or kill each other because they can't be together like Romeo and Juliet.", Maya tried to explain as best as possible. Love was a complex structure which wasn't easy to explain within a few minutes.

"That's a dramatic reaction.", Connor said serious as he processed the information.

"Love can be magnificent...or even disastrous. But if you love, you know that because the other person is everything you can think of. They matter more than your own life and you just want to be with them. Suddenly, there is someone in your life who seemed to be more important than yourself.", Maya closed her explanation. Connor inclined his head to one side.

"Have you ever been in love?", he asked interested. Maya was friendly and calm and the complete difference to all the humans he had met so far. He watched her bright eyes sparkling in the half dark and her hair falling over her shoulders like soft waves. For the first time, he noticed such things on someone else.

‘Software instability…’, the note popped up in front of his eyes.

"Oh… uhm…not really...not how I have explained it but in some way...yeah-", Maya explained stammering.

"But you're alone, aren't you? Or do you have a partner at the moment?", Connor asked further. Now, more interested in her than before.

‘Software instability…’, once again the note was showing up.

"No, I.. I'm single, at the moment. I had a few relationships but nothing too serious.", Maya answered, shifting uncomfortably.

"Haven't you loved them enough that they left?", Connor asked and Maya felt more uncomfortable under his intense glance which was innocent at the same time. She understood that Connor was like a child at this point. If he wanted to understand, he had to ask questions that came to his mind.

"Unfortunately, it's not that simple. There are different factors for people to stay together and sometimes... it's not enough to love each other. Sometimes even loving someone isn't enough that a relationship works out.", Maya tried to explain but she saw that Connor had difficulties to follow.

"Okay, look, I will try to explain it to you.", Maya changed her sitting position closer to Connor. He followed her lead and it seemed that he made himself more comfortable.

***

As she awoke, Maya realized that she must have fallen asleep on the couch. Slowly, she remembered how she had tried to explain love to an android the whole night. As she sat up, Maya noticed the blanket covering her.

"Connor?", she asked sleepy into the apartment but there was no response. She wasn't surprised but she smiled softly about the memories of how they had talked until she had fallen asleep against Connor's shoulder in the early morning hours.

Feeling wonderful, Maya pulled the blanket closer to her chest to keep the warmth a moment longer. That was it that a small piece of paper fell to the ground. Maya leant forward to collect it. It was just a small note but the words let her smile:

I had to leave and I didn't want to wake you. Thank you for … everything!

Exiles Character Inspirations

Or, “Max, what are you doing? Are you putting off finishing the next chapter?” Maybe I am! Maybe.

Ezra Kettle: I make jokes about Grumpy Bear, but honestly I’ve always had a sore spot for the worrywart or sourpuss who cares deeply but can’t express it through sunshine all the time. The characters in Exiles aren’t supposed to be 1:1 parallels to classic fairy tale characters so much as composites. In Ezra’s case, the role he plays in the second chapter is inspired by more sympathetic portrayals of the giant’s wife in Jack and the Beanstalk. She’s someone who trusts Jack and gives him advice to hide him from her husband. As pointed out by Into the Woods, Jack’s actions wrong her when she’s done nothing to him. His actual background has much more in common with Cinderella, and indeed if you read him the stories of Jack and the Beanstalk and Cinderella he’d probably connect more readily with the latter despite the subject matter. 

While he’s not particularly feminine, Ezra is a male character who tends to take on narrative roles that are traditionally female-coded. His skills and powers are connected to the kitchen and the hearth. He falls in love with Prince Basil in a very deliberately blatant ‘rescue romance,’ tends to play an emotional support role among his companions, and is even in distress in Book One. I didn’t do this to be deliberately subversive in a ‘see what I did there? Feminism!’ way, but just to play around with gender in fairy tales altogether. Often stories will feature the ‘princess who fights,’ but not the ‘man who nurtures,’ and I like to see more of both. 

In retrospect, it isn’t that surprising to me that I started Exiles around the time I was starting to think about my gender identity. That said, no one in Exiles is a self-insert! If anything, I put some of myself in all of them. Yes, even the villains.

Marjorie Snow: Marjorie is kind of a slippery character, and not just in-universe. Sometimes she’s hard for even me to pin down! Book 3 has been difficult to write because she just slips out of the spotlight as if she wants to hide her true nature even from the narrative itself, and I have to prod her back into it. 

She’s partially inspired by the character of Becky Sharp in Vanity Fair, a self-serving trickster and social climber who uses manipulation to get her way. In earlier iterations of the character she was a lot more genuinely amoral. But I started exploring the idea of someone who had internalized the idea of immorality and being the ‘bad girl’ juxtaposed against some sense of ‘goodness’ that existed in her mind, and feeling she could never escape that badness, but using it in the service of something (or someone) she considered ‘good.’ In that sense, she doesn’t have much in common with Becky at all anymore! So it goes. 

Her fairy tale parallel character appears to be Snow White at first, but I mixed parts of the ‘wicked stepsister’ archetype or the ‘bad girl who opposes the good heroine’ to create someone who is really neither a pure heroine nor truly wicked at all. 

Philomene Marl Thumbelina: Did you know the original version of Philomene as I first imagined her had Basil’s curse and was human-sized? She came about when I doodled a princess in a dress made of quilts with a polar bear companion. Something about the character concept wasn’t quite working in my mind, so I gave her curse to Basil and made her a tiny little princess and the team scientist. She’s probably also the closest the foursome has to a leader, but she’d only admit it reluctantly. 

Her name makes it clear she’s a parallel to Thumbelina, albeit a very loose one. There was an actual in-universe person named Thumbelina who was the founder of the massive City-Colony that bears her name, and one day we may hear her story. Still, Philomene does deal with a frog who wants to marry her, and like all Flower Folk she was born out of a flower. The fate of Thumbelina Kingdom at the beginning of Book One is taken from Sleeping Beauty, and the Marl family has 12 sisters because of...well, the Twelve Dancing Princesses. That last one’s more of a shallow shout-out than anything else, I’ll admit. 

This is going to feel a little obvious to some of you, but she was pretty heavily inspired by Princess Bubblegum. I like princesses and I like scientists, what can I say? But I was also thinking about how someone who had political power and responsibilities would deal with a world that is mostly enormous and full of dangers, the World of Towers as her kinfolk put it. She tries to understand dilemmas as a problem that needs solving or a question that has a definite answer, and she seeks that answer through research, trial and error. Sometimes this leads to her taking a rather narrow view of the situation, but she may need to do so in order to avoid being overwhelmed. 

Oh, and she’s also got a little bit of Sailor Mercury in there. 

Basil of Sethwhile: Basil was always Prince Charming! Or a Prince Charming wannabe, at least. Granted as a reader pointed out, he grew up mostly isolated with fairy caretakers and animal companions, brave but naive about the world and eager to break out of his restraints and save himself. So in a way, he’s Prince Charming but also a Disney Princess, isn’t he? 

At his hammiest, Basil is invoking Amelia from Slayers, Prince Edward from Enchanted, or just about any optimistic shonen anime protagonist you can think of. I’m also pulling more than a little bit from the character of Utena Tenjou, someone who seeks to become the prince no matter how difficult that may prove to be. (There’s a reason the ‘original’ Prince Charming was a woman, and that’s because of Revolutionary Girl Utena.) 

He thinks only Prince Charming can break his life-threatening curse, and deep down he’s terrified of the idea of waiting/relying on someone else to save his life. So this is basically Prince Charming striving to become Prince Charming in order to save himself. He is both the prince and the princess archetype in those terms, I suppose. But it’s impossible for a person to be a perfect archetype...

Playing off that duality, his backstory is pulling from Sleeping Beauty, but the curse itself is more inspired by Kai’s condition in The Snow Queen. I suppose I could say Aurora comes from East of the Sun, West of the Moon, but truthfully I just like bears. 

Mercury in Pisces is a sensitive medium with a rich imagination

The planet closest to the Sun gives a person the opportunity to realize intellectual self-expression in social ties and contacts. Even a brilliant talent requires embodiment through word and deed, what is quite often the case of holders of mercury in Fish. 

By nature, these people are generously endowed with the deepest and most fantastic intuition among the 12 constellations and are able to create brilliant works of art, to be the conductors of the highest wisdom and love, if they overcome laziness and morbid sensitivity to criticism. 

A child with mercury in Pisces is better to immediately pick up a school for gifted individuals with an individual approach. He will not succeed among strict disciplinary requirements, as he tends to dream and immerse himself in creativity with his head. 

Nativ's speech resembles a seething waterfall, replete with figurative comparisons, transitions from one topic to another. The General meaning is difficult to grasp, so people often prefer to Express thoughts on paper, where it is easy to remove unnecessary and leave the essence. The position of the planet requires constant control and understanding of the nuances of others. 

Features of behavior

The mind of the owner of mercury in Pisces is always in close connection with the emotional state. Depression and stress for a long time knock him out of a rut and push him to rash actions, and a good mood helps to show the brilliance of intelligence so brightly that even close people are amazed at the dramatic transformation of a shy modest man into an artistic polymath. 

For the triumph of the mind of mercury in Pisces, an atmosphere of admiration and spiritual comfort is necessary, even at the level of family or friendly support. 

It is necessary to understand the characteristic features of thinking and behavior created by such a position of the planet: 

the gift of empathy helps to read thoughts and feel the state of the interlocutor, but also destroys the success of public speeches, if the audience is negative or mocking mood; 

psychic abilities, the ability to solve dreams and lines on the hand, to anticipate the reaction to their words or creative works; 

self-doubt, depression at the slightest failure or criticism; 

difficulties with a clear formulation of thought, muttering under his breath, instead of a clear coinage of words; 

difficulties with the study of common foreign languages with easy assimilation of branched and confusing grammar of exotic (for example, Japanese and Chinese), ancient or iconic, like Morse code; 

important information comes from secret sources, others feel the need to share secrets with the native; 

lack of punctuality, existence on the" own " wave; 

painful shyness when necessary to voice their creativity-sing, read poetry, up to physical tightness of the throat. 

Having managed to overcome shyness and vulnerability, Nativ becomes a great musician, actor, poet, writer or politician, but it is necessary to overcome the fear of being misunderstood. Astrologers recommend classes in the theater Studio, on courses of oratory to study the shortcomings of the Union of Neptune and mercury, especially in the presence of negative aspects.

Male and female

The Neptunian girl is a kind and sympathetic Samaritan, completely unable to perform boring routine work. For happiness, she needs to create and see the recognition of results, but to sit down and start systematically writing books, poems or music is almost as difficult as to compile accounting reports. 

The driving force that includes the intellect of a romantic and feminine beauty is the state of falling in love, inspiring bold brilliant results that shock her. The owner of mercury in Pisces often creates under a pseudonym, freeing from the fear of criticism. When choosing a practical profession, she has to transform into an image every day, like a real actress, especially if it is necessary to be a strict and authoritative leader. 

The mind of a man under the influence of Neptune is looking for esoteric explanations of everything that happens on earth, linking the particular with the General, thereby becoming a talented psychologist, priest and researcher. 

He is incredibly romantic, and despite the talent to see through people, wears pink glasses, exaggerating the dignity of the beloved. It is often used by selfish people, because the carrier of mercury in Aquarius is ready to take off the last shirt to help the unfortunate, but the authorities are in no hurry to dump additional work on him, because he is not able to concentrate on a high volume of cases and qualitatively complete them.

Retrograde and important aspects with planets

Mercury in the reverse movement in the Natal chart makes a person sluggish and indecisive, repeating other people's views and thoughts. Easily suggestible and hypochondriac, he often becomes a victim of fraud and unmotivated bad mood, for weeks playing silent with loved ones. 

This is especially compounded by the negative aspects with Neptune, Lilith and the Moon, requiring work with a psychologist. Creative and professional success is facilitated by sextiles and trines with Venus, Chiron, Mars, Jupiter and Saturn, helping to remove the vagueness of thinking and concentrate the forces to achieve the dream.

Additional description

In people born with mercury in Pisces, thoughts and manner of communication tend to be idealistic, spiritual, intuitive, creative, responsive, diplomatic, extremely sensitive, compassionate and visionary. On the other hand, you can be lazy, impractical, in the clouds, hypersensitive, slow, indifferent and absent-minded. Perhaps you do not have a strong desire to work and you can not force yourself to do something that takes a lot of effort, organization, patience and responsibility. You'd rather be a poet or a musician than a scientist or an engineer. 

Formal study of books is not your strong point, but you can assimilate knowledge in most remarkable ways if you are interested in the subject area. You are sensitive to the environment, so you have to be attentive to the environment you are in. Your nerves and your mental health require you to periodically rest away from the everyday noise. Take a little time to be alone with yourself and recover, but not for too long as you have a tendency to dive into yourself and your problems. Healing through visualization techniques or healing through the laying on of hands is characteristic of you. 

A person born with mercury under the sign of Pisces has a talent for art, music, drama and poetry. Your imagination can be very well developed. Since you tend to think in terms of mental abstractions, translating your thoughts and impressions into something concrete, everyday language can be difficult for you at times, and as a result you will experience a decrease in intelligence and communication skills. You do not like to be constrained by circumstances, and you will always follow your intuition rather than logic. You are intuitive and able to understand the thoughts and feelings of others before they speak to you. Sometimes Fish are so immersed in their own world of thought and imagination that they overlook things that happen directly in the environment. 

Pisces with mercury in the Natal chart, are extremely open and believe that anything is possible. Intangible spiritual forces seem as real to you as anything concrete in this world and you often form an opinion about a person or situation without much actual knowledge about them, and as a rule your impressions are correct. A positive attitude is very important for you, as the dreaminess sometimes tends to leave you.

Melvin and the Silent Diagnosis for a Brilliantly Broken Psyche

Hypothetical Diagnosis Insecurity masked with narcissistic tendencies characterized with compulsive obsessions driven by blatant autism, and no that is not an immature insult I test extremely highly for Asperger's myself Here's the Evidence: (I will state before hand that Melvin-borg is a completely separate character in my mind, and thus will not be included in this particular theory.  Melvin decided not to turn out like him, so they are canonically separate characters) He is obviously and frequently inspired by George and Harold, but his deeply embedded fear of rejection makes him dangerously bitter, and it doesn't help that everytime he breaks out of this protective shell, he is rejected or betrayed once again. It’s important to note that while he may be high-functioning (aka: Aspergers) he is still Autistic. That’s because Asperger’s is not a form of autism- it is autism. Period. And any kind of autism or mental attypicality left untreated can develop in to many, many other severe mental disorders, or, in general, make life a metric heck ton harder and complicated than it already is. I also need to confess that I test highly positively for autism myself as well as being an INTP female (Myers-Briggs Personality Test). Not to brag, but all that combined with my naturally creative nature makes me rare af, but it also means I can't communicate or handle stress #liketheothergirls, so that has lead me to being/feeling bullied and ostracized.  I also have anxiety and depression issue which run in my family, and mild insomnia, and may or may not be relapsing into an eating disorder. Paired with psychical problems like acid reflux and severe neck tension, health, whether psychical or mental is of uttermost importance to me.  It suffices to say, autism is not easy to deal with and if not taken care for properly a person, especially if not made at least aware of what autism truly is, it can truly ruin their life. Combined with the neglectful nature of his parents (at least in the books) I and many others in this fandom truly believe Melvin is at least autistically coded. Not only does this fit the archetype of his character but it also fits the theme of the books to a TEE. At its core, CU, of all things, is a children's book series, about living your best life despite not being “normal.” Even characters like the teachers or Mr Krupp who strive for “normality” are shown to actually have deeply repressed creativity, or, in some cases, deep trauma from their own childhoods. It suffices to say that I resonate deeply with Melvin. Say what you want about him or me, I was able to relate to him the second he spoke his first line in the second book. Sorry to turn this into a long vent, but I feel it is best to use myself to support this theory as well as harder evidence, even if it is mostly a means of self-therapy. To start, we both are obsessed with school even to a detrimental degree. Ever since head-start (Pre-K but a million times better), these "book-smarts" were the first thing I ever truly excelled at. When the other kids bullied (or as I now know as teasing) me, I would lose myself in a stack of homework or a book 2-3 grades past my grade level (this is before I drew or wrote as a main hobby). Similarly, Melvin is rarely seen without a book or gadget, just like me. We both over analyze things and hide our feelings. We both have intense crushes on others but are terrified to dare express them, or do but to nothing but awkwardness. We were both science kids, and fascinated by words and/or numbers alone (I still am just in a more artistic way). We both struggle to communicate and relate to others. We both have a unusual sense of humor and are highly observant of surroundings all the while missing what’s in front of our noses. We both have interests that quickly spiral into obsessions and dropping the obsession only when sick of it. We both practice similar forms of stimming. We both not only thrive but crave control and structure with the world around us, even to the point of being "control freaks" and creating odd habits, routines, and rituals regardless of whether they are necessary or make sense. We both have an intense fear of intimacy and rejection to the point of practicing self-isolation and in some cases self harm or other unhealthy coping methods (seen with Melvin over eating sweets or over working himself. For me it’s disordered eating or self flagellation, something I have all but completely dropped but still) We also both tend to see ourselves as inferior to others and attempt to mask those feelings with a superiority complex (I feel bad for my siblings but I didn’t know what I was doing, and no it was not abusive just sibling rivalry and I’m the oldest anyway, and we are country kids and understand “rough-housing” =/= using each other as a punching bag, but accidents happen I'm sorry) We both seem to become easily overstimulated and have explosive mental and emotional breakdowns when things just . . . become too much However the harsh divide between male and female and fictional and nonfictional means we both present certain traits differently. Whereas he presents a more linear line of thinking my mind is overwhelmingly sporadic. Also, I have over sensitivities to touch and light (and sometimes certain noises, but not anything not normal? Wfk.) But maybe he does have oversensitivity but I can't think of an example off the top of my head. Enough about me however. I know Melvin and autism has been done to death.  Hell, I just did it to death.  My actual theory is more on the inner mechanisms of his mind and predicting how he will develop should the series allow for full character development. Also, similar to my Krupp theory, I will be listing his crimes out and give him a proper sentence for his age and maturity level (which will be light as I am sympathetic to his plight).   This is already getting too long, so Imma try to finally get to the point.  Characters with autism are honestly a mixed bag, sometimes there as standardized as my mystery Daddy Sherlock Holmes and other times they are as subtle as Pearl or Peridot from Steven Universe (has Rebbaca Sugar confirmed this? sorry). Honestly, it does distress me that autism is almost always used to have an evil genius character or some weird side character for brownie/ diversity points. (this makes me a bit hypocritical I guess, considering my own stories. I guess tropes are tropes for a reason) And while Dav Pilky May not be subtle with his scholastic politics or humor his one spectacular tool in his writing books has always been, when it comes to his characters, showing instead of telling. This is something I latched on to even as a kid, and I was already thinking up theories on the characters before I even knew character theories were a thing.  Like what happened to Harold's Dad (hint, hint).  Why was Harold's sister rarely used?  Does Mr Krupp actually like their comics (a now accepted theory, but not just min? And many many others I'm probably never gonna write.  It took until how long in the books to reveal George and Harold have ADHD? Before that they were simply described as being as smart as Melvin but just in different ways. Personally I feel that autism is inverted ADHD. This is an opinion I’ve recently formed so if I’m wrong bloody attack me in the comments. Anyway, Melvin presenting autism makes him the perfect foil to George and Harolds’ more sporadic antics. The only true difference between autistic folks and ADHD folks is that those with autism tend to crave a structured environment full of rules, and set goals to achieve, while such an environment is HELL to children with ADHD (aka:George and Harold). (Even though if with adults they can trust, children with ADHD thrive in structured environments if they are surrounded by adults or authority figures they can trust.)  I know some will tell me ADHD is on the spectrum, but I just learned this like actually the other day and don’t fully understand it.  My prediction is that Melvin will eventually and naturally mellow out if just because staying so high strung all the time is a huge waste of mental energy.  I know good as hell I had to.  Also, he mellowed our in the books and went from a screeching revenge exacting lil narcissistic white boi prick to a person who simply wants to pursue his interests and even helping George and Harold (selfishly, but help nonetheless). He even went from enjoying the fame and attention of hero-ing to realizing it did not fufill him. Indeed quite the opposite.  His true passion lay in solving world problems through science, and I don't think the ending for him in the books could have been any more perfect considering his character.   In the Netflix show, similar to how I think Krupp's personalities are merging, I believe that Melvin will eventually become more like his Broski alter ego (which I calmly demand more of).  Overall, given that this show needs to go back to the status quo more often than not, I don't think his core character will ever change, and it doesn't need to.  Multiple times throughout the series he's been shown to crave friendship from George and Harold, despite audibly hating him . Textbook Tsundere, I know.  He will form a friendly rivalry with George and Harold, I have almost no doubt about that, taking the season 1 finale, season 2 finale, season 3 first episode, and halloween special into consideration. (Yeah, if someone will send me clips I will give them my eternal gratefulness) To conclude, because by god this is long, Melvin is, SHOCKER, just a little kid.  A little kid who likes muffins and dolls and has big hopes and dreams.  A little kid whose love for science and unrecognized creativity is channeled into making inventions that are even more impressive than those of Professor P (sorry P).  But he is a little kid with his own needs and stuggles which at this point remain unmet.  His parents are canonically neglectful, I cannot repeat that enough times.  The effects of neglect are a hell-hole of its own regardless of growing up with undiagnosed autism.  But that's just a theory- Alright, that was a banger, I guess next up is Melvin-borg since writing this has given me some interesting ideas for him.  Let’s see how long this hyperfocus train will go!

callout post for toy story 4

‘cause that was some bad storytelling and amatonormative bullshit, yo

(spoilers, cw: discussions of toy suicide???)

so, like, the central conflict is that woody can only define himself by his caregiving relationships. he’s still grieving andy and he throws himself into helping bonnie behind the scenes when he’s apparently lost her love and attention. it’s clearly an obsession for him and an unhealthy coping mechanism, and it makes sense as a conflict for a toy that can also resonate for the audience. so far, so good.

however, the first issue is that though his friends sense something is wrong, they ONLY criticize his actions, and his actions not only aren’t the problem, but are presented as the correct thing to do. 

like, stowing away with bonnie to her kindergarten orientation? she was having problems she couldn’t deal with by herself: she was alone and some kid took her art supplies, and she was too scared to do anything about it. woody doesn’t try to solve her problems by inserting himself into the situation so she can play with him; instead, he secretly gets some of the art supplies back. he provides the basic tools, and bonnie solves the problem herself, by creating forky to keep her company and relieve her anxiety. woody’s not being overprotective, but actually helped her take advantage of an opportunity to grow.

then we have woody’s mission to keep forky from succumbing to his existential horror and returning to the trash from whence he came. woody repeatedly puts himself at risk because bonnie needs forky... and, once again, it seems like that was the right thing to do. we see bonnie get genuinely upset each and every time she loses track of forky; losing him permanently WOULD be pretty traumatizing for her. and meanwhile, given the time to adjust forky DOES come around to the concept of being a toy! their heart-to-heart on the road to the RV park may have been woody mainly spilling all his issues, but it actually helped. by the end, forky seems excited about being bonnie’s toy, looks up to woody as a friend and mentor, and is able to form connections with other toys like gabby gabby. (side note: does it count as stockholm syndrome if someone doesn’t know they’ve been kidnapped...?) this is all presented as unambiguously positive, and none of it could’ve happened if woody had listened to his friends and let forky commit toy suicide. and while woody was engaging in risky behavior, it’s still not any worse than stunts he’s pulled before. no one would blink twice if he defenestrated himself from a moving RV to rescue buzz lightyear. the problem is his unhealthy mindset and resulting impulsivity.

the satisfying resolution to this conflict would be woody’s friends acknowledging that he needs help mentally AND physically. woody’s right that bonnie and forky need assistance, but woody doesn’t necessarily have to be the one to provide it, and at the very least he doesn’t have to provide it alone. he’s got a ton of friends who presumably want to support him and would be willing to step up once the issue was identified. working as a team lessens the burden for everyone. and as for woody’s personal journey: defining himself solely by his relationship to his kids is really unhealthy, which means he needs to define himself as an individual. the positive conclusion for his story arc is him accepting this and either doing it or taking steps to begin the process.

the second issue is that none of this happens.

the third issue is that they actually did have the bones of a satisfying conclusion in his relationship with bo peep. the movie starts with her accepting that it’s time to move on when she’s being given away, and when she turns up again, it’s clear that she’s been living her life on her own terms. she’s basically a well-adjusted post-apocalyptic wanderer, a lost toy who roams free in her sweet skunkmobile ride and offering help to other lost toys. she’s dealt with the same issues woody is going through now, her lifestyle is full of the stuff he excels at – helping friends, often with wild stunts – and most importantly, she has freedom and self-determination.

but the movie never bothers to show woody acknowledging these are things he wants or even needs. (the movie doesn’t even have woody acknowledge his issues obliquely. a perfect opportunity would have been the conclusion to gabby’s arc, since she’s his dramatic foil in the film. he gives up an organ and risks his chance to return to his home to help her – if she acknowledges and works out her issues while we see him looking on approvingly, then by the transitive property we can assume he’s done the same. but instead, we see gabby deal with potentially becoming obsolete when she gets rejected by a kid by... getting a new kid... which already didn’t work for woody...) 

woody’s personal conflict is entirely subsumed by him wanting bo. them getting together is romantic, but it never finishes his story arc. all the emphasis is placed on the guy getting the girl, not the guy being with a girl who has valuable lessons to impart about his struggles while they can both support each other in their mutual missions of exploration and aid.

this is then promptly compounded by even more heteronormative nonsense throughout the denouement. bonnie makes forky an extremely stereotypically female-coded trash girl counterpart that basically screams ‘love interest’, and the camera pans lovingly across mr. and mrs. potato head’s clasped hands. they used archival recordings as a tribute to don rickles to make sure he was in the movie, but THAT’S what they want to go out on?? a silent salute to the fact that his character was married???

the only narrative purpose these beats serve in the conclusion of the movie is to reinforce an apparent message of ‘haha we were kidding about the power of friendship in the first three movies, what we were REALLY missing was some hetero relationships’. woody giving up all of his familial and platonic relationships is a huge sacrifice, for both him (they HIJACKED A FUCKING RV FULL OF PEOPLE to come save him!) and the audience. we’ve been invested in these friendships for four movies! their fucking theme song is “you’ve got a friend in me”! there’s a ton of emotional weight there. woody’s friends never finished their own arc – figuring out what’s really wrong with woody while learning all the important lessons about toyhood he has to share. had that happened, and had everyone realized that the price of woody best finding happiness and fulfillment was that he has to leave, and had everyone acknowledged that this was, in fact, an ENORMOUS sacrifice for all of them – that would have been satisfying, if very bittersweet. (so, like: totally on brand for toy story.) instead, they shove everything under the rug of ‘yay he’s in a romantic relationship!’ and completely gloss over the emotional ramifications of THE ENTIRE SERIES.

in conclusion, the movie’s solution to woody’s unhealthy tendency to define himself solely by his caregiving relationships is to instead have him completely abandon his family and friends forever so he can define himself by his romantic relationship instead!!!! hahahahahahahahahahaha what the fuck.

My take on modern Star Trek compared to the old:

Star Trek very much embodied what liberal American white males of the 1980s and 1990s thought the future would (or should) look like: secular, sexually liberated, humanistic, meritocratic, equitable, and technological – a man’s world, basically. In this world, religion plays practically no role in public life. Problems are solved with diplomacy instead of violence. Money doesn’t exist, so there is no capitalism, greed, or want. People spend their lives bettering humanity and doing other such noble things like negotiating peace with aliens or exploring the universe in one of Starfleet’s advanced starships, each equipped with a plethora of miraculous technologies. In their leisure time, the crews of these starships visit a holographic room, the holodeck, which can conjure any fantasy into a photorealistic facsimile of the real thing.

Probably the only place in the Western world where this mentality can still be found is California’s Silicon Valley. As in the fictional world of Star Trek, men do most of the work; they advance through meritocracy; and there is something akin to a fraternal culture, irrespective of the prevailing progressive ideology. Silicon Valley is also still largely free of the odious diversity requirements imposed on the rest of society.

…

The high point of the franchise, The Next Generation, featured a mostly white liberal cast and various things white liberals liked at the time – sex appeal, food, pseudointellectualism (although handled capably by talented male writers), cutting edge tech, meritocracy, optimism, exploration, and the white man’s moralism.

Starfleet, the Federation’s military and scientific branch, was a rigorous meritocracy, just as Silicon Valley is today. Members were admitted only through a combination of senior officer recommendations, high scholastic achievement, and phenomenally high standardized test scores. Character was also paramount. Crew evaluations feature prominently in several episodes of TNG, and it was made clear to underperforming members that the starship Enterprise cuts a standard above the rest; perform or hit the road.

In the diverse world of Star Trek, the white writers imagined meritocracy would ensure whites like themselves would still have a position at the top of society (just as in Hollywood then and Silicon Valley now) despite soon becoming a minority in real life America. You’ll notice progressive humans are at the center of the Federation in Star Trek despite being a small minority in that fictional universe as well. That’s by design, conscious or not.

…

In the TNG episode The Drumhead, Picard faces down a witch hunting admiral — a woman, no less. The plot revolves around an incident that occurred on the starship Enterprise. Sabotage is suspected, and the situation is tense. The initial evidence points to a low ranking crewman who is later discovered to be of mixed race, one-quarter of the Federation’s most feared enemy. This all but convicts him in the eyes of the admiral’s tribunal. The admiral mercilessly presses her case, threatening to destroy anyone who gets in her way. She’s meant to be a caricature of conservative jingoists of the era – always scared of the Russians, racist against minorities, emotional. In Hollywood’s view of history, those were the people behind the McCarthy hearings, which this episode obviously pulls from.

…

Toward the end of the episode, Captain Picard confronts his antagonist and gives a fine speech about principle, temperament, and morality in the process. The admiral is defeated when a fellow admiral, a black male character, stands up and walks out in disgust at her actions.

This is one of the reasons why fans liked the character of Jean-Luc Picard: he was a decent, honorable man despite not being perfect himself. He had a code he lived by, and he led by example. Men like that sort of thing. Star Trek Picard, in contrast, portrays him as a bumbling moron who is always wrong and continually berated by female underlings. His view of the world is portrayed as naive or just wrong, requiring strong SJW women to take it to the enemy themselves, often employing violence – including rank murder and sadistic violence.

In another episode of TNG, white male commander Riker stands up to his white male superior — an admiral — who wishes to break the terms of a peace treaty to gain a military edge over a mortal enemy. Riker prevents him from doing so and exposes the dastardly plot. Moral of the story: principle trumps Machiavellianism.

Star Trek was very much a pre-Millennial liberal morality play whereby inspired characters (mostly white) would often stand up to authority figures (mostly white) in order to promote a general moral code — a greater authority — among fellow whites.

Consider some of the following things about Star Trek: The Next Generation and ask yourself if any of this would be allowed on television today without controversy.

…

The diverse new cast of Discovery and Picard mostly excludes white males. The only principle white men who did not appear in make-up during Discovery’s first season were either villains or openly gay. The show’s lead is a black woman who’s the best at everything, acts bizarrely hostile towards the crew and later berates the male commanding officer, captain Pike – introduced in season 2. There’s also an assortment of other female archetypes more typically seen in network television crime dramas – the dorky female comic relief, the bestest ever leader, the tech guru.

Star Trek: Picard’s white male actors, aside from TNG cameos, are mostly villains when they appear at all. Picard himself is a senile old man who contributes essentially nothing to the show. He is used as the butt of criticism from the cast. It’s clear the writers are using him as a canvas to paint their grievances with the real world. Picard — white male America — stands in the new boss’s empowered way. He lives in luxury as minority characters live in poverty. The (white) institutions he represents are all corrupt and racist. To rectify this injustice, the diverse cast must defy Star Trek convention – up to and including committing acts of cold-blooded murder (even villains don’t deserve that).

The new shows also – bizarrely — feature a dearth of straight black male actors. TNG had two; Voyager had one; DS9 had several, including a masculine male captain. The feminists who write this newer junk must feel threatened by their masculinity, a common phenomenon in modern Hollywood movies, comic books, and in network television: black men are usually removed (Star Trek), made gay (Marvel’s New Warriors), or turned into female servants (Samuel L. Jackson in Captain Marvel – a pet to Brie Larson). So, they’ve almost entirely been excised as primary leads in the new shows. The mostly unaccomplished female writers of Discovery even reported the more accomplished (read: threatening) black male writer, Walter Mosley, to Human Resources for uttering a racial epithet (in context with writing about racism), causing him to quit the show in disgust.

Author Walter Mosley Quits ‘Star Trek: Discovery’ After Using N-Word in Writers Room

Discovery and Picard are both written by a crowd that obviously hates the demographic they are writing for, so they pepper many of the episodes with things they know that demographic will take as insults – female characters insulting male characters, underhanded jokes about masculinity or mansplaining, obnoxious female leads, incompetent white male characters who need female instruction, excessive melodrama, denigration of lore. It’s patently obvious. They aren’t even being subtle about it.

…

Fundamentally, these new shows struggle because they are written by people wholly unlike the target audience, so they are not able to appeal to them (the same is true of other ruined male franchises like Star Wars – but I’ll save that for another time). These new shows aren’t for the old audience. The new — diverse — show runners have made that clear. Star Trek now serves as a vehicle for airing out racial and gender grievances against the perceived white male audience. It’s akin to planting your tribe’s flag on another tribe’s territory. The aggrieved gets a rush from being able to rub their enemy’s face in their loss. It’s intentional.

…

Regardless, the primary audience for a show like this is heterosexual men, disproportionately white … And when minority male characters appear, they’re not supposed to be losers upstaged by their sassy, disrespectful and arrogant female subordinates. In Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, the black male captain put his hothead female executive officer in her place more than once. In the new Treks, men are continually insulted, often for no good reason, by female crew members.

What do men like in Star Trek?

Men like technology. So, the writers of Picard introduced a magic wand to the newest iteration.

…

Men like adventure, not melodrama. So, obviously the female writers feature an inordinate number of episodes of characters crying.

…

Most of the adventure element prominent in previous shows is absent or poorly constructed in the newer ones … or ripped off from other properties, including video games. Paramount was being sued a while back for copyright infringement.

…

Men also like ship design, which was a major component of the old shows. They provided countless hours of free fan promotion across message boards and websites, they were cool locations for new episodes, and they inspired fan movies. So, obviously that had to be sidelined in the new shows. The ships, once iconic and profitable selling toy items, are now generic CGI models – totally uninspired trash hastily put together as an afterthought. The new shows can’t sell the merchandise, so the retailers have refused to license much of it.

Another thing men like? Group service – following rules, meritocracy, sacrifice for the tribe, defending territory (even the non-violent philosophical variety), that kind of thing. Well, that’s almost totally absent in Discovery and Picard. The once-honorable and meritocratic military-like Federation is portrayed as corrupt and unequal; the black female lead of Picard berates Jean-Luc in one episode for living “in his fine chateau” while she lived in poverty – again, a totally antithetical concept to the old shows.

…

The whole Federation is a dystopia with criminals and drugs and injustice all about.

Various Federation admirals in the new movies and television shows are belligerent, short-sighted, and rude; one is an outright war criminal. TNG featured at least two episodes with corrupt Federation admirals, but our show’s male heroes put them in their place by the end of the episode. Even the female captain Kathryn Janeway did this once in Voyager. Not true of these newer shows, though. Admirals berate the male characters, then go away – never to be redeemed or brought to justice.

Many of the characters in the new shows act entirely unprofessional towards each other. They are sometimes even cruel or sadistic. The female captain of one Discoveryshort Trek allowed a bumbling white male crewman (whom the female writers mocked the entire episode) to die horribly and then simply shrugged it off when asked about it, “he was an idiot” (implication: he deserved to die because he was annoying her).

…

The biggest supporters of these new incarnations, not surprisingly, are the show’s American writers – along with a few “critics”. These people lack any loyalty to a higher cause (other than themselves), are nihilistic, are sadistic, enjoy berating “the other” (men, whites, themselves even), and have practically no respect for anything they aren’t personally invested with. In other words, they are thoroughly Americanized losers.

There would be a college thesis in that observation if we lived in a better timeline. In this one, the world where the bad guys won, you are stuck reading it in a random internet comment.

I think that observation explains much of what is wrong with modern culture: the past, in many ways, was better than the present and probably will end up being better than the near future. That’s intolerable to a lot of political extremists, the very people who put us in this position in the first place. So, the past has to be destroyed; it serves as a foil to the current reigning madness. “Let the past die, kill it if you have to.” That’s why pop culture had to be denigrated. That’s why Star Trek is trash nowadays.

When conquering armies of the ancient world subdued an enemy, they often defaced the conquered tribe’s symbols – destroyed the statues, burned the temples, desecrated anything sacred; both Muslim and Christian conquerors were famous for this. Same thing here. The new regime is burning the cultural bridges so you can’t go back to the better world left behind, the one not ruled by them.

…

Although, in fairness to the ladies, it’s mostly men like Alex Kurtzman who have ruined the new shows. The guy once stated in an interview that he has a problem writing male characters. Hollywood: let’s hire that guy for Star Trek!

OKAY SO I've just spent the best part of an hour scrolling through your blog and reading a bunch of your destiel meta and I HAD to message you... I was one of the many people who STRONGLY believed destiel had a chance of being canon after season 8 (more like season gr8 am i right), but throughout the years I slowly lost all hope. However, S14 has made me 110% invested in the show again and YOUR META IS GIVING ME HOPE FOR DESTIEL, which is TERRIFYING. Your writing is wonderful and I'm STRESSED.

Got back from Washington late last night!

Oh my gosh @alovelikecas, your message really made my day and I’m SO glad you enjoy my meta xox (even when most of my meta looks like, to me, sloppy-ass writing, haha! I’ll probably make an end-season meta post after 14x20 — if I have the time — that touches upon SPN’s current and repeating themes since Season New Beginnings S12/Dabb Era, not to mention I have, like, some more unfinished meta in my drafts >.>)

Yeah I mean, I didn’t join Destiel land until Summer 2016, and before that, I was late to the Season 11 party, so I basically had no narrative context for anything, and I’ll copy-paste what I said here: 

Looking back, one significant thing I recall? S11 gave me a sense of Destiel’s true narrative validity (as not a ‘fanon’ ship but organically developed in the canon) when I perceived it as a season that was ‘missing something’. Keep in mind I had no idea about Destiel yet while watching S11 at the time.

I was literally asking myself — repeatedly — why Dean/Amara seemed to contain odd narrative holes, considering A. Dean explicitly said that the non-consensual attraction he felt for Amara was NOT love and “it scares him”, B. Amara told Dean that ‘something stops you - keeps you from having it all’, C. Djinn!Amara stated that she can: ‘feel the love [Dean] feels, except it’s cloaked in shame,’ and D. Mildred’s iconic ‘You’re pining for someone’ —> which did not logically correlate with A and C, meaning: since Dean doesn’t freely love Amara and thus isn’t possibly pining for her — with female love interests as currently non-existent (I remember crossing off the dead/gone girls on a piece of paper lol) — who the hell was he pining for, then?

Originally posted by elizabethrobertajones

Obviously, without writing long-ass paragraphs of meta about it again in this post, S11 made sense as soon as I watched it within the Destiel context (especially after I read up on some grandiose pieces of Destiel meta (@charlie-minion was the very first person who inspired me to write meta; I followed her once I joined the fandom Oh my god, here we go, holy crap this subtext – I’m invested in this godforsaken ship because they’re in love with each other and I’m not getting off any time soon. The rest is history.

I’m aware that I do come off as positive (and I’m still Destiel-positive; whatever happens in 14x20 this week may or may not change that), but I hope you don’t mind if I use your lovely ask as an additional opportunity to clarify my meta standpoint: no one’s saying Destiel WILL become text. 

The general Destiel meta community (all subfactions: Destiel-positive, -negative, -neutral, and in-between) is not the Most Holy Canon Word, and we aren’t SPN writers, and again, we can’t actually speak to the veracity of Destiel as guaranteed-gonna-go-textual, but we — a diverse pool of critical thinkers from all walks of life: particularly those who have some degree of experience in literary academia/English literature studies (fun fact: I was actually pursuing a Minor’s in English until I changed my mind - my first love’s Health Science/Biology, which I stuck with, but here I am doing lit-crit analysis on the side *wink*) — can speak to the veracity of Destiel as a real, palpable, and ever-substantial long-running romance narrative aka the love story between Dean and Cas IS THERE. I see it. We all see it. We didn’t pluck it out of the random ether one day. It naturally evolved across the show’s overarching narrative like some vast spiderweb, linked together by numerous character arc amalgamations of Dean Winchester and Castiel as separate individuals who were then brought together — who brought themselves together, by the sheer force of free will and choice — and are now inherent parts of the other’s story (and respective character progression).

I say this too many times to count: the entire point of writing meta? Personally, it enables me to appreciate the literary gorgeousness of Dean and Cas’ relationship as, first and foremost, a tentative alliance offset by the very moment Cas raised Dean from perdition (it’s a poetic beginning). Their alliance then inevitably proliferated into a rocky — at times, necessarily turbulent — friendship, then a deep profound bond…one that crossed platonic boundaries since S7/8 and is, ultimately, indelibly rooted in romance. Together, Dean and Cas build up each other’s strengths, complement each other’s flaws, and narratively motivate the other to self-introspect — to become the best version of themselves that they were always meant to be: self-actualized entities who let go of their painful, horrifying, psychologically/emotionally destitute pasts.

These above reasons and more are why I think Destiel belongs right up there on the shelf of Ye Olde Classics, similar to epics by John Milton, Shakespearian tragic dramas, Homeric characteristic cruxes, and the great Odyssey journey: a legendary journey, fraught with circumstance, that finally ended with Odysseus (now an enlightened man) returning to Penelope, the love of his life.

Channeling the scope of Homer’s Odyssey, Destiel is an incredible storytelling feat of obstacles, both internal and external, romance tropes, mirroring, foreshadowing, and visual cadence/emotion, enhancing SPN’s already character-driven main plot in that Dean and Cas try to make it back to one another; like Penelope, their love holds true despite everything. If Destiel were an M/F couple, we all know their love story would be absolutely undeniable to the GA.

I do understand the bitterness S14’s fostered in some viewers, though. I do understand that Dean and Cas seem distant (and yeah, it’s a noticeable difference compared to S12/S13), but I believe the Destiel subtext is still heavy and holds steady.

Right now, at this point, there remains multiple personal issues for the characters to solve, you know? Dean and Cas aren’t talking properly; their love languages stay mistranslated, although we’re persistently shown that they still understand each other on a certain level that no one else can, and the visual narrative keeps framing them as on-the-nose solid counterparts: a domestic-spousal romantic unit independent of Sam.

Originally posted by incatastrophicmind

They want to be there for the other. They need to quash the final remnants of their respective internal loathing (Dean’s self-worthiness, Cas’ self-expendability) before they’re able to give the other 100% of their time, efforts, attention, and love (as flawed and complicated but compellingly beautiful as it can possibly be). During the times Dean and Cas do try to talk shit out, extraneous issues continue to get between them.

As other friends/meta pals discussed with me, S14 is like S10 in that it’s confusing the cast/audiences. And exactly: S8, besides S11/S12/early S13, also belongs in the close-to-canon serious Destiel narrative transition! I can discuss the showrunning/writer problem of SBL (Singer + Bucklemming; @occamshipper hits the nail on the head) that tugs subtext – especially subtext linked to Destiel – back and forth, sometimes in the weirdest nonsensical ways, but I won’t go too far into it here. I agree, however, with the recent idea that Jensen does seem a bit confused as to where he should bring Dean emotionally this season (don’t get me wrong, I do NOT believe Dean is OOC; OOC is a completely different concept vs expected character behaviour). And if Dean’s consistently romance-coded past interactions with Cas are any indication, Jensen would also — in the same vein as all of us — want Dean and Cas to start getting their shit together. Long-running fictional characters like Dean and Cas, conceived over 10 years, are so well-written to the point where you, the author, can predict what they’ll do even if you just plop both of them inside a room and give them no direction, and I personally feel that nowadays Jensen is prevented from achieving Dean’s further internal growth/unsure how to act in the moment because of some dumb SBL scripts saying one thing while his character’s heart says another. Wank aside—

Season 15 should hopefully convey a much more logical subtextual perspective e.g. unbelievably amazingly cohesive Season Destiel 11 that aired after choppy S10. Not all hope is lost!! I also want to clarify that I personally LOVED Season 14 in general. It’s been mostly Emotion-centric constant, with Yockey, Berens, Perez, and Dabb usually making my top-rank SPN writer list.

Currently the narrative’s still allowing pretty significant (imho) wiggle room for the lovers to fracture apart and get back together, where their miscommunication comes to a dramatic head. We just saw Dean and Cas argue over Jack’s well-being in 14x18 and 19. Dean — besides putting Cas at the top of his You’re-Dead-to-Me-Because-You-Lied-but-I-Still-Love-You-Goddammit hitlist (for clear spousal-coded reasons) and taking Cas’ actions to heart (he’s the person he trusted the most who lied to him) — no doubt blamed himself for what happened, and Sam was, like I said, the mouthpiece of truth. TFW were all culpable. They all failed Jack in some way, shape, or form.

I’m not expecting anything for 14x20, but I’m nervous either way! Thanks for sticking with my long answer

Binge-Watching: Re:Zero, Episodes 12-14

In which everything goes straight to hell, Subaru becomes his worst self, and the horizon has never looked darker. Good god, this show is gonna give me a heart attack one of these days.

Who Wants to Be the King

The strength of Re:Zero thus far has been its ability to deliver powerful, effective moments of catharsis that feel genuinely earned for how much effort, both in terms of character growth and plot progression, was put into achieving them. It would be so easy for this show to fall flat on its face like every other isekai if it didn’t feel like Subaru was actually overcoming something to achieve the hard-fought victories he does. He’s constantly being tested, constantly forced to re-evaluate the way he looks at things, constantly pushed out of his comfort zone to take on challenges he’s barely prepared to face. All his weaknesses, his entitlements, his arrogance, and his cowardice are put under the pressure cooker, forcing him to shape up and rise to the occasion or give up and shatter under the pressure. And because we get to see the consequences of his failures, it makes the process of seeing him push through to victory that much more satisfying. We feel like he’s growing to meet the challenges, overcoming his weaknesses and becoming a better person in the process. It makes each step forward he takes mean something, both for him and us, because we know what he’s undergone to get to this point and how the experience has changed him for the better.

The next chapter of Re:Zero pushes Subaru to the next stage of his symbolic trial by fire, tossing him out of the relatively enclosed safety of the Roswald Manor and straight into the thick of this world’s broader political landscape. Emilia is, after all, vying to be the next queen, and side note, how cool is it that this is a show where it’s the female lead seeking a position of power and the main dude backing her up? It’s not often you see that dynamic, even outside of isekai. But the challenge this situation presents is on an entirely different level than anything Subaru’s dealt with before. He’s figured out how to handle himself around dangerous monsters and emotional turmoil, but a complex political situation that requires the mental and social placation of many different parties, with codes and hierarchies and norms to follow? That’s about as far from his overly direct method of problem-solving as you could imagine. There are five possible queens, each with their own servants, each with their own philosophy that they bring to their quest for the throne, from monarchy to democracy to full-on anarchy (Team Felt for life). Everyone’s got their own angle, some more friendly, some decidedly less so, most somewhere in between, but everyone’s trying to advance their own interests above all else. Subaru can’t just break his head against this wall until it cracks like he normally does, because that’s not going to work. He needs to be smarter about how he tries to deal with this situation.

But it’s here that Re:Zero makes the most dangerous choice it possibly could.

It chooses to let Subaru not be smarter.

Subaru Falls Apart

Because let’s be perfectly honest, however far Subaru’s come and as much good will as he’s bought up through his impressive desire to improve himself, he is not a fully mature person yet. We’ve seen plenty of times in the past how arrogant and overly emotional he can be, how he lets his instinct take control when he should really take time to cool his head, how he tries to bat beyond his weight limit and grab onto things he hasn’t earned because it’s easier than actually trying to earn them. He’s a kid, a kid who’s seen some shit and knocked himself somewhat into shape, but a kid nonetheless. And against the increasing pressure of a situation he doesn’t know how to handle, all of his worst qualities start bubbling to the surface like never before. For once, he doesn’t rise to the occasion. This time, the pressure makes him crack. And as a result, we see the lovable, if egotistical hero we’ve come to know over the first half of the show descend into a bitter, possessive wreck of a person sinking further and further into the noxious pit of his weaknesses until he chokes to death on his own toxic bile. It’s a genuinely awful, uncomfortable experience that gets harder and harder to watch as it continues, stripping away the things we’ve come to love about Subaru piece by piece until only the blackness inside remains. It’s agonizing. It’s frustrating. It’s infuriating.

And I’m so goddamn happy it happened.

Let’s be real, character degradation is one of the hardest writing tricks to pull off effectively. People become attached to characters they like and want to see their goodness win out in the end, so by asking your audience to watch your protagonist descend into the worst possible version of himself, you’re asking them to watch all that investment turn black and caustic, poisoning something they place a lot of stock in. That’s hard to stomach, even if it’s done well. And it’s so easy to not do it well. Those of you who were around for my Guilty Crown and Future Diary watches know that my least favorite moment in both of those shows was when the protagonist hit their lowest point and all their worst qualities came out for a time, because in both of these cases, it felt so unearned and cheaply handled that they completely obliterated whatever trust I still might have had in them to be good. If you mess this shit up, it will tank your entire story. So if you’re going to have your protagonist degrade and let their weaknesses take over, you better be really damn sure you can pull it off.

And the trick to pulling it off, in my opinion, is twofold. First, you have to make the degradation itself feel justified. You have to make your audience buy the sequence of events that bring the character low, and that it would bring them low in precisely the way it does. If it doesn’t feel like a natural outgrowth of their character and situation, it’s not gonna work. Second, you have to make to make your audience still want to see them succeed regardless. Watching someone you care about fuck themselves over so spectacularly shouldn’t destroy your investment in them. Instead, it should work to make you want them to get better, to come out the other side of this trial and return to the person they used to be with their morals still intact. Remember, character degradation is only effective because it’s a knife twist for a character that your audience supposedly already cares about. We should feel horrified at how low he’s sinking, not pissed off that he’s sinking at all.

And lo and behold, Re:Zero pulls these two feats off better than I think I’ve ever seen them pulled off, casting Subaru’s descent in the most powerful light it possibly could.

The Biggest L Ever

Subaru’s descent isn’t a simple or instant process. We see every little annoyance and pressure that builds up and exponentially multiplies during the royal ceremony and its aftermath, every jolt that increasingly fractures his ability to handle the situation. It starts simply enough, with jealousy at another man for kissing Emilia’s hand, but he manages to play that off well enough (”You shouldn’t eat curry udon in that suit.”) Then it’s a flubbed attempt to play hero by rescuing a women who didn’t need rescuing, and was actually competing against Emilia in the first place. And then the broken promises start piling up, as Subaru disregards Emilia’s plea for him to just stay at the mansion while she takes care of business; he inserts himself into a situation he is in no way prepared for against the wishes of the person he’s supposedly doing it for. The prejudice on display at the ceremony against her presses against his ego harder and harder until he’s finally too incensed to keep his silence and tries to, once again, be the big brave man he sees himself as to protect Emilia’s honor... only to get his ass handed by him by the same man who sparked his jealousy in the first place who, however arrogant, is equally able to dismantle Subaru’s own arrogance in thinking he can stand as Emilia’s knight when he’s done nothing to earn that privilege against the chivalry of the actual knights in the room. He had nothing to counter that, and the frustration of that inability only makes his decision-making worse as he practically butchers himself in a duel against the knight in question, failing spectacularly to make any sort of difference. It’s a grueling saga of abject failure, of Subaru constantly falling short of his attempts to be a hero and having that ineptitude shoved in his face, only pressing him to try harder and sloppier, repeating the cycle as the cracks just grow and grow.

And then, the finishing blow comes in the form of the one person who had the slightest chance of cracking Subaru’s think wall of denial: Emilia, the women he was supposedly doing all this for. He pushed himself so hard and fell so far because he envisioned himself as Emilia’s protector, the one person who could possibly save her. But when he finally faces her in the bloody aftermath of his final mistake, she confronts him with the brutal truth he was trying so hard not to accept; none of this was for her. Hell, she was carrying herself just fine in the proceedings, facing the prejudice of her countrymen with enough courage and conviction to put all of the to shame. However awful the situation was for her, she was in control of it, at least enough to mange on her own. She didn’t need Subaru to be her hero. She didn’t need him to put her on a pedestal like everyone else, some untouchable figure of legend who must be fought over for good or ill. She needed him to be a friend. A companion. Someone she could rely on, who she could put her faith in, who wouldn’t break every promise he made her and rush in against her wishes only serving to make things worse. If he was really doing this for her, he would have listened. He would have trusted her as she trusted him. But he didn’t. Because he was never doing this for her.

He was doing this for himself.

He was doing this because he wanted to feel big. He was doing this because he wanted to believe he was special. He was doing this because protecting her made him feel good. However much he might genuinely care about her, the actions he took here proved that deep down, his own selfishness mattered more. And no amount of trying to pretend he went against her wishes for her sake is going to make that truth any less blisteringly agonizing. Subaru can’t deny it anymore. He can’t look her in the face and tell her she was wrong, because deep down, he knows she isn’t. It’s the same selfishness that caused the demon twins so much pain in timelines since abandoned, that he’s been running from his entire time here. And if he can’t run from it anymore, then he’ll embrace it. He’ll let the poison in and let it take him over, because that’s easier than owning up to how much he’s hurt Emilia and trying to be better for her sake. It’s easier to scream about everything he’s suffered for her sake, everything he’s sacrificed an how much she should owe him, because otherwise, he has to face the reality that she doesn’t owe him shit. That even setting aside all the sacrifices he’s made in wiped timelines Emilia will never know about, she is her own person, not a receptacle for his good deeds to fill up until she discharges rewards. His kindness is not an excuse for him to get away with whatever he wants. His good does not cancel out his bad unless he puts in the effort to make it.

And until Subaru understands that?

Then no amount of repetition will get him to the happy end he’s fighting for.

Despair Helix

But that future is still a long way away. Because Subaru takes this utter destruction of his ego about as poorly as he possibly could, only sinking further and further into bitter entitlement and self-pity that feeds on itself in compounding darkness. His solution to Emilia cutting herself off from him is just to try harder, going against her wishes more and more directly to try and justify everything he’s already fucked up. His egotism only swallows him deeper and deeper, to the point where he outright says that he’s the only person Emilia can count on, despite plenty of evidence to the contrary. No matter how deeply Rem still cares for him, he can only see her abandonment of him as proof that no one is giving him what he’s owed. Everyone’s out to get him, nobody gives him the trust and respect he deserves, and any perceived slight is just one more piece of evidence that the world is a cruel, unfair place that doesn’t deserve his generosity. ”I’ll save her,” he mutter to himself. “Once I do, she’ll understand.” Because it’s easier to believe that than accept how utterly he’s fucked up, and how hard truly fixing it is going to be. It’s easier than accepting how much his actions have hurt the people he cares about, after expending so much effort to do right by them and finding the way forward no less easy no matter how many times he restarts and progresses.

None of this came out of nowhere. None of this was unjustified. Subaru always had this darkness boiling inside him. This unpleasant, entitled, nice-guy toxicity was always buried under the surface, just hidden by his goofiness and genuine compassion and determination. This is as much the real Natsuki Subaru as the person we’ve come to care about over the past 11 episodes, the person who proved that he was better than this, that he could improve and chance, that he didn’t have to surrender to the pressure of a world that gave him no easy outs to fix the streaks of weakness flowing through him. It’s an agonizing, gut-wrenching descent into darkness from somebody who we know was capable of falling this far, but also has the potential to be so much more. His failures make sense because we understand the darkness they came from. And they hurt because we know it didn’t have to be this way. We know Subaru can do better, because we’ve seen that better too many times to count. And with the final gut-twist arrival of the hooded cult from Rem’s backstory, Subaru’s got nowhere left to run from facing that truth. The next loop is going to test him like never before, forcing him to confront everything he’s been hiding from, every last scrap of internalized hatred and selfishness that’s driven him into such a ditch. It’s going to be intense. It’s going to be brutal. It’s going to hurt so, so much.

And I could not be more fucking excited.

Re:Zero has consistently proven itself capable of so much more than first impressions give it credit for. It goes big, it goes hard, but it takes the smart road every step of the way, making decisions that make every step count, every drop of blood, sweat and tears matter. It knows how to make its darkness land with incredible power, and it knows how to make the release of that darkness sing. This show is genuinely great, and I am constantly impressed at both how far it’s willing to go and how well it’s able to go there. Bring on the pain, show. I can’t wait to see just how grueling Subaru’s next trial is going to be.

Odds and Ends

-”Wait, did I even do anything?!” Surprisingly, yes.

-”Given the circumstances, I’ll try not to do anything dumb.” Narrator’s voice: He was not successful.

-”I thought you enjoyed chopping people up more than talking to them.” And just like that, I’ve got my eye on Wil. I’m watching you, fucker.

-”I’m really sorry for that.” askjdhasd for fuck’s sake

-”Are you the captiol’s only hoodlums?” A fair question, all things considered.

-Oh my god, that thug act. What the shit, Subaru.

-I don’t know what’s wigging me out more, the fact that hitchhiking still exists in this world or that this guy is totally Zenzo the Ass Ninja.

-”You’re the one who made the wrong assumption, Subaru-kyun.” I like Felis immensely.

-”Did you practice that coordination for the meeting?” “Of course.” askjdhaskdja

-Aw, I already miss the old OP. It didn’t play nearly enough times.

-Felis is wiser than his appearance indicates. There’s a ruthlessness to the way he discredits all Subaru’s attempts to build himself up.

-”So save a little bit of that for me, okay?” Oh god, Rem, I’m so sorry, you don’t deserve this asshole.

Loop three, here we go. See you next time.

All-Stars -Story Mode- [CHAPTER 10]

I had gotten started on writing with chapter 12 when I’ll just give the 10th and 11th chapters here. Still time to do so when I know that’s Friday and it’s the weekend, yay!

So, enjoy for the rest of the 10th chapter. ;)

-Chapter 10-

“Nikolai!”

The Russian woke up to the sound of Dempsey’s voice echoing through the hallway, he groaned and got up to his feet, he turned his head to face the boarded up window and see the smogy tan clouds covering up the sky, with no signs of sunlight so ever! Wunderbar (Wonderful in German) and joyous day, a smoggy morning.

Oh joy! Smoggy morning!

He had dark rings under his eyes as he had tried to look for them but failed, in defeat, they walked to find the place to hide and fight against the dead when moon begins to rise from the mountains, when they did, it was an hotel, that like the other buildings, abandoned but thankfully not as damaged like the rest.

They were not hesitate to broad up every window they see on the outside and even on the inside as well, then head inside and find something for them to lay down for the night but 4 of their own needed to stay up to watch in case the dead or even the soldiers of Helghast that had kidnapped the kids comes back. Demoman, Engineer, Edward & Takeo are up all night for any signs of anything with legs but nothing when the clouds begins to light up the tan color, meaning the sun is coming up. Nikolai gave it much thought about the clouds’ color for a moment, then walking away from the window as he placed his hand on his forehead, remembering the dream involving a girl in the storm and mysterious woman being there.

“Who was that woman? Who was that girl I had seen?” NIkolai asked to himself then he heard a knock that the door, he removed his hand from his forehead and said “Come in.”

To his surprise, it’s Spy, looking ready for the new morning’s rise as he said “I see that you’re awake by Dempsey first before I could be able to.” with a gentle smile but it’s only half way, he knows what had happened yesterday.

“I can tell by that Spy.” Nikolai said as he looked at the French man with ease, Spy looked at Nikolai’s hair and said “Nice hair Nikolai.” as he pointed at it. Nikolai chuckled a little bit as he feels his hair with his glove-free hand as he walked away to find his hat and the rest of his attire.

Spy sighed “But I do have good news for this however, Scout had been ‘scouting’ around, heheh… anyway, he had been scouting and found out where their base was.” as Nikolai had founded his things and starts to get ready for another day to fight, while doing that, Nikolai replied “Is that so Spy?” as he put on his vest.

“Indeed, I can feel it in my bones that it’s Radec’s base. Also, we have word from Mrs. Pauling again and I’m not sure if you’re going to take it well Nikolai.” Spy explained more as Nikolai puts on his bullet-proof vest, his ears perked up to listen further on what Spy is going to say more as he replied “Do tell Spy.”

“Well, she had contact with someone who had just used Morse Code and saying if we want to know what is going on is… Well, having all four of you to join us to figure and solve this problem out.” He blurted out, making Nikolai jumped to that sight of the news about a sudden change in plans. He turned to face Spy with disbelief, “But we are not mercenaries like you, surely there’s been-”

“Sadly it’s true but there are good news from it however,” Spy insisted, “If we are going to rescue them first, we need a plan for that Rescue Mission first and fast.”

“You mean we are going to-”

“Rescue Frisk and Mugman first? Oui.” he answered, Nikolai was a little relieved to hear this, he didn’t if his teammates would like being with RED for a while now but he had the feeling that they had the news broke to them as well on this morning.

“What are we supposed to do after we rescued them?” he questioned, Spy turned and said “They’ll stay with us for safety, I can tell they had been through enough to last a year.”

Nikolai then looks for his hat but didn’t find it, he wasn’t drunk and he knows where he put it last night when he was asleep then Pyro comes in the room, wearing his hat.

“Hey Nick!” Pyro murmured, catching his attention and turned to greet Pyro but saw that they are wearing his hat, it almost fit them perfectly like how it’d fit him. “They must’ve took it while I was asleep.” he thought as Pyro pointed to the hat.

“I think you’re looking for this.” They muffed again, then bending down for Nikolai to take to winch he did and then put it on his head again. “Спасибо, Pyro.” He said as Pyro begins to walk away. “Your welcome Nikolai!” They muffed happily as they walked out of the room.

Spy chuckled as Pyro left, then turned back to Nikolai, “If you’re done getting dressed for this,” he stated, “We better get going to the others, I can tell they are working on the battle plan right now.” before walking out of the room, Nikolai behind him as he wondered for a moment about the dream he had; who was that woman and who was that Young Lady in the storm? What has this to do with them?

-Back in the Bunker with Bendy-

Bendy was getting worried for his friends, they haven’t come back yesterday? Did they abandoned him, were they caught and eaten by God know what? Are they dead? Thoughts keep plaguing his mind for a while.

“Where were they?” he thought as he paced back and forth with his hands behind his back, Boris hasn’t been gone for this long when they first got to the bunker three days before and now this is happening?

Bendy looked at the clock and it’s 7:37 in the morning, he could still wait for the others but it’s too long now, he felt lone, the only soul with common sense to stay inside till this situation dies down.

“Oh what am I supposed to do? There’s no army radio in here, besides the speakers in here. I can’t go outside without a weapon of some sorts. I can’t wait for them here.”

“You’re dang right you can’t wait for them here.” a female voice called out.

“You’re right I- Huuh??” Bendy said as he looked around the room, was someone else here with him? “And you can’t just sit here any longer ether hoping what will happened next if you did.” Voice said again, this time it’s coming from the speakers on the bunker. Bendy got off the couch he was sitting at and looked at the speakers and asked “Who are you?”

“Just call me Knight.” the voice replied, “And you must be Bendy the Dancing Demon, am I wrong?”

“Yeah? What’s your business with me?” he maintained.

“Be quiet and listen if you want to stay alive, you have to get out of the bunker and find your friends.” Knight cautioned, Bendy was confused with this attitude of hers, “I have to? But I don’t have a weapon!” he exclaimed to the speakers.

“I know that, was there a rucksack in the bunker with you?” Knight asked him, Bendy looked around and sees a rucksack, a brown outdoor canvas leather travel hiking camping rucksack, he finds that it’s strange, it’d wasn’t here with him from three days before, he pointed at it and said “Is this it?”

“Yes!” She exclaimed, Bendy picked it up to look at it with a confused yet curious look. “You may need it for the long journey ahead of you, I fear that Boris and the others had been captured by the Helghast Empire.” She stated, Bendy dropped the rucksack when he heard this news, “They were what!?” he yelled out as droplets of ink fell from him as they formed. “Now now Bendy, calm down, it’d is bad but I can promise you that there are others who can help you get them back.” Knight stated with her voicetone had smoothed as Bendy took deep breaths to calm himself down, he knows this as he had transformed into a monster after his emotions escalated.

“We will get them back, trust me.” Knight said, Bendy looked at the speakers again with questions running through his head once more “Mind telling me who the “OTHERS” are and why would you think that they can help me? I can take care of this myself!” he said with a over-brave voice, Knight somehow doubted that since:

Bendy will emotionally turn into a monsters if his emotions gone out of control and unchecked.

If they are arm with weapons, he would run away like a frighten headless chicken as they will hunt him down and gut him like a fish.

If he is going to die by ether Radec and/or enemies, what is he going to lose? He’ll die in the world of the unknown if he’s ever going to do this alone.

With an idea in her head and a leader tone in her voice she said “If you’re willing to do this by yourself, you’re going to need a shortcut to get to their base in order to do so.” as Bendy continues to look at the speakers. “I’m listening.” He jabbed, crossing his arms as he listened intently to the speakers. “The short-cut through an old school, trust me, that short-cut isn’t going to be easy, it’ll be challenging for you because uh… there’s a grim warning for making a mistake on quizzes.” Knight spoke with little hesitation, Bendy raised an eyebrow at this plan as he said “I can take that short-cut, what school are we talking about?”

“I can’t explain what school specific but I’ll just give you the directions to it, if you get out of the bunker and out of the elderly home, go down the LongBridge Brook street on a straight line then go to the left around the corner. And once you do that, take a sharp right across the Timberwolf street and soon you will find the school I warn you about.” Knight finishing her directions to the Ink Devil, only to find out that he had fell asleep on her when she was telling him this.

Annoyed with this, she bellowed in a demonic voice that the Devil himself had used if he’s ever annoyed with this. “BENDY!!”

Bendy woke up with a shout of fear then fell downward onto the ground, “WHA- Why-!? Where!? Who!?” he stuttered out as he stumbles back on his feet.

“Did you even hear what I just said, Bendy?” Knight accused as Bendy is once again looking at the speakers.

He shook his head as he placed his hand on it, “No, it sounded like “Blah blah, out of the bunker and out of the old-age home, blah blah blah, down the street in a straight line then go to the left around the corner, blah blah, take a sharp right across the street. Blah blah and then soon I will find the school I warn you about.” Bendy answered.

Bendy felt like her voice had glared a hole through him, if her voice had any eyes, it wouldn’t describe how both funny and disturbing it could be.

“For once you need to listen if you want them back.” She scolded Bendy like how a parent would do, “Just do what I say, get food, water and a weapon for the journey ahead, it’s only-”

she said before being rudely interrupted by Bendy saying “””the beginning” Blah blah blah blah, “Stay out of sight,” blah blah, “Danger lurks around the corner.” blah blah blah, “Speech after Speech,” blah blah blah. “Consequences.” I know! Let me get ready first woman!”

With a hmpth from Knight, Bendy grabbed the rucksack and goes over to the room where the bunk beds were, he picked out an axe, 5 cans of bacon soup, an canteen filled water and clothing for cold weather. He then headed for the door out of the bunker with a lantern in hand, he gave the room one last look to it before opening the door and leaving it opened in case anyone else who got caught in the situation like this. He then walks down the the hall with the lantern lighting up the way as he makes to the ladder out of the underground, he looked up towards the dark hole above before locking the lantern to his side and ascending up on the ladder.

Bendy was thinking to their situation was like right now, it doesn't bare thinking about as he drips more ink. “What if they…” Bendy thought “What they are going to do the same thing to them like how they done to Boris? Oh no… Guys, I’m coming.” before he hits his head onto the hatch and rubs his head in pain.

“Ow!”

Bendy then opened the hatch with his left hand then looked around, it’s morning but the smoggy clouds are still covering the sky, blocking out any trace of sunlight but the clouds are tan now. Bendy then crawls out of the hatch before closing it as he looked around for any corpses that are still walking.

“To think it would be sunny by now.” He said to himself-

“Shhh…!! Little more quieter please?”

Bendy then looked around with an ax in his hands when he spotted undead movement.

“Zombies” he said without doubt when he heard them moaning and groaning from outside of the elderly house, “They always had to eat flash of the living, don’t they now?” then he creates a blob of ink on the palm of his hand, “Alright, it’s go time.”

Then he threw a blob of ink at the doorway then hid in the puddle of his own ink, zombie then comes to the source of the noise after it had climbed into the nearby broken window and began to look around.

“Just a little more to here…!” Bendy said as a zombie with eyes that glowed orange is heading over to where he was, zombie had been aware that it wasn’t the only one in the room as it looked around. Bendy sought his chance and pounced onto it with open arms, splattering ink all over it and took control over it.

Bendy looked at himself in the mirror of the mirror, he is a zombie but newer features added to it; Besides the blood splattered all over its body, now ink had splattered nearly all over it, its eyes are inky black but its eye-iris is apple red.

“Now,” Bendy said lightly, “Let’s see if I can blend in with them.” as he picked up his rucksack and dragging it behind him

Then he leaves the room and into a hallway, in the hallway, there were zombies walking, standing, doing things that are concerned zombie-related normal as they eyed Bendy. It’s… Unusual for a zombie to be covered in ink and having ink black and apple red eyes as normal but still, Bendy kept walking/stumbling across the building as others walked around him.

Bendy then sees a cyan and light blue white 5-point star in the center of it, curious, he walked over to it and slightly touched it.

                                           Old Elderly Home                                               Bendy, LV 10.                                        5/13/18           5:27:05                             >[Save]                               No

*Walking through the now zombie-infested old age home for the elderly as one of them give you a gift of courage.

                                           Old Elderly Home                                                Bendy, LV 10.                                          5/13/18          5:27:05                                                     SAVED                                               HP Restored

Bendy blinked when he saved his file, he looked at the star again in confusion. “Uh… What just happened?”

“It’s a SAVE Point, you can save your progress whenever you’d touched it.” Knight explained, “Mind telling this to me again in plain english, Knight?” he asked subconsciousness. “It means whenever you’ve died, you’ll be brought back to the SAVE Point on your adventure, like going back in time to redo the whole thing.”

“Going back in time?”

Zombie had happened to look over to Bendy and then raises its hand and had it’s index finger point at him and then lets out a screeched, a screech of “That zombie’s a spy!”

“Also, I think it’s a good time to run now Bendy.” Knight also mentioned as Bendy looked around and saw every single eyes of the undead are looking at him with a promise of “We will hunt you down and gut you like a fish!” as Bendy’s eyes grew wide with

shock.

Then very quickly in a flash; Bendy ran for it, running for his life as zombies are running, lacking the speed to keep up with him. “Why can’t they just be any other people?!” he shrieked at the top of his lungs as droplets of ink fall to the floor.

A horde of zombies are running to keep up to Bendy as he ditched the zombie he used as a meat disguise and kept right on running as there were a group of four (yet very familiar) men are outside, they were walking but when they heard the sounds of the dead from within the elderly home, they knew it right away and are not hesitate to get out their weapons like they had done this loads of times before.

Even for Primis’ original counterparts, they didn’t called this group of men the Ultimis Crew for nothing, as they are the kings of carnage and zombie killers

“Oh, mein children really are here!” Richtofen said, his smile is tainted with another day to kill.

“This just never ends…” Dempsey muttered angrily.

Takeo said nothing as the captain got out his family sword to fight, much to his annoyance to the Russian being drunk as ever.

“Nikolai will break them!” Sergeant said as he had a smile of a drunk man, as they were ready for the dead to come out and try to rip them apart for dinner but they were not expecting something else to come out, not a zombie or other types of zombies they had encountered but what they didn’t know that Bendy, the Dancing Demon had just came straight out of the elderly home and ran right into the crew shouting “Get out of my way!!”

“What the-” The corporal yelled before being forced to get out of the way by Takeo for the Ink Demon to ran through them and kept right on running. That made The Doctor very interested by the Toonic deviling.

“Hmm… Interesting.” Richtofen said as he smiled and putting finger and thumb on his chin, he had seen a little few cartoons on television but never in real life before, he was wondering himself about Bendy and wondered if 115 had something to do with this.

“Richtofen,” Dempsey began, “Less thinking and more killing freakbags!” as he once again got out PPSh, making him looked and saw the horde is spilling out of the old home, making him getting out his most prized wonder weapon: Wunderwaffe DG-2 with a grin of a mad man, he yelled out his phrase whenever the wave of zombies is coming in; “Ze Doctor is in!”

Bendy, meanwhile is running as fast as his legs can carry him, he was looking back with his mind wondering if the four men he had ran though will be alright with the dead until he bumps into a wall as he forgot winch way he was going. “Owie!”

He looked up and sees a street sign,

LongBridge Brook Street 1204 North.

“Bendy, I now believe you’re on the right track.”

“On the right track?” Ink Demon questioned, “This is just too easy!”

“It’s not going to be easy for long now, go turn the corner. On your left.”

Bendy looked over then ran over to the corner of the street on his left, with his rucksack on his back and a song in his heart for an unknown reason as he found his way to Timberwolf street then makes a sharp dash across the street to the school that Knight had warned.

Bendy looked at the school with little confusion and hesitation, “That’s it?” he questioned, still confused with the thought that maybe Knight had got it wrong.

“That’s it.”

“Dang it. I hate schools.”

“We people needed to go to school at some point in our lives, Bendy.” Knight said.

“Ugh…” Bendy groaned as he walked over to the entrance, passing by the SAVE point until he heard Knight calling to him.

“Ug Bendy,” Knight began, “You better save your progress first.”

Bendy rolled his eyes then going over to the SAVE point and lightly touched it as it glows once more like before.

                                                 Basics School                                                   Bendy, LV 10.                                            5/13/18          5:36:43                                   >[Save]                             No

*Managed to reach Basics School in the wake of a day in the Zombie-infested city gives you the gift of bravery.

                                                 Basics School                                                   Bendy, LV 10.                                            5/13/18          5:36:43                                                       SAVED                                                 HP Restored

“Now about who owns the school,” Knight began to say but Bendy is already at the door with a bored look on his face.

“Bendy wait!-”

But Bendy didn’t listened as he opened the door and entered the school before Knight could listened to her, “Just don’t worry about, I’m sure I can handle it.”

He then closed the door of the school with a sigh, at least he’s safe from the dead now… is he?

He then turned around to see a man, man that is very too unusual that Bendy had seen, as if he’s a poorly modeled CGI (computer-generated imagery) human figure with long, skinny fingers, pale-tan skin, large red lips, and is bald except for what seems to be a singular hair on his head. He also has a long-sleeved green shirt, blue pants, and light brown shoes.

The man smiled and waved at Bendy like he’s a new student to be welcome to the school, to his school.

(Background is from HipWallpaper)

“Oh, hi! Welcome to my Schoolhouse!” he greeted him as Bendy raised an eyebrow, “There’s no need to get excited.” Bendy said as he adjusts his rucksack. “I’d just need to get through this- er… your schoolhouse, I’m on a mission of sorts.”

This professor, Baldi, didn’t seemed to bulge when Bendy said that he’s just passing through. Bendy felt rather feeling of oddity rising upward to his throat, more of a “do your school work then I’ll let you through” feeling. The Ink Demon rubbed his arm before going beside of Baldi and to the doors he was standing in front of and gave it a push, but it didn’t gave way like how it did for him, he tried it again but it wouldn’t gave way.

Then he heard Baldi saying this statement, “you need two more notebooks to open these doors.”

Bendy then slaps his forehead, this guy is making him do school work just to get Baldi to let him go through the doors?

Perfect. Just what he not wanted... This is too strange of a school to have such a rule like that. Not only that rule, there’s also a rule about things that you shouldn’t do, even fourth-wall breaking. Bendy didn’t know what it is but if he needs to continue on with his mission, he’s gonna have do what Baldi wanted him to do.

He looked at the classroom on his left as he walked over to it and opened the door before entering the classroom, as he looked around the class, what he sees on the desks are loosely school stuff as usual, gum under them, books and pencils on top of the desks even a single notebook is on the teacher’s desk as well.

“This is too dumb.” he muttered under his breath as he walked over to the desk and finds a device that had the words “You Can Think Pad,” with the number pads on the side. Bendy looked at the pad as Baldi’s face appeared on the monitor and said warmly with a jingle music plays.

“Welcome to Baldi's Basics in Education and Learning! That's me!”

Bendy raised an eyebrow at this before picking up the pad, everything around him went black and Bendy looked around the area then suddenly he heard Baldi’s once more.

“Now it's time for everybody's favorite subject: Math! Answer the three questions correctly, and you might get something special! Just type the correct answer into the empty box. Press the ENTER key on your keyboard when you think you have the right answer.”

Bendy raised an eyebrow again as he looked at the pad before Baldi announces the first problem:

“Problem 1! Nine - Eight = ?”

Bendy gave it much thought for a moment as Jeopardy-like music is playing in the background like he was on a famous game show, Henry, his creator had taught very little of math before he left the studio for war so he might be able to handle this. After much thought, he thought up what a the answer could be.

“I am just going out on a limb here but… One?” he typed it down on the pad, instantly he got it right as Baldi exclaimed “Aha, you got it!”

“Problem 2! 8 + 5 = ?”

Bendy started to feel confident now as he smiled like a sneaky Deviling he was, he said out loud “13! It’s 13!” as he typed it down as he smiled.

It’s the right answer for Problem 2 as Baldi smiled “Good one!” before moving on to the third problem.

“Problem 3! 9 + 9 =?”

Bendy is already feeling arrogant than the Devil that had gone down to Georgia, looking for a soul to steal while he was on his bike. He called out “It was 18! The answer is 18!”

“I’d can’t believe it! You're incredible!”

Everything around Bendy had began to fade in, back to normal as he placed the You Can Think Pad down on the teacher’s desk and then grabbed the first notebook he had completed as he heard Baldi’s warmful giggle coming from the hallway outside the classroom. Bendy gleefully walked out of the room and back into the hallway with a waiting Baldi with a quarter in palm of his hand.

“You did great! Come here and get your prize! A shiny quarter! Just click on it with the left mouse button to pick it up! Then, when you find something you can use it on, right click on the object with the quarter selected! That's how you use items, you know.”

Bendy greedy takes the quarter from Baldi whom is still smiling then held it up in the air like a knight after finding something incredibly useful as if it really was just a quarter.

*You’ve gotten a shiny quarter!

“I had no idea how it happened but guess it’ll have to do.” he thought, he turned to another classroom and walked over to it then entered through the door. The classroom looked the same but a few different things are on the desks as the teacher’s desk had a same notebook but with a different color.

“Heheh, again with the math thing. Like something bad will ever happened with a bald guy.” He mocked as he walked over to the notebook with absolute ignorance but he didn’t know those words he said would be the words that he will live to regret.

Like before, the You Can Think Pad beside the notebook, feeling WAY overconfident, he picked it up and the same thing had happened, everything around them went black but Bendy and the devise.

Again, Baldi’s face appears on the screen with a smile, then he said the next problem. “Problem 1! 5 - 5 =?”

“Zero!” he typed it down, he had gotten another checkmark as Baldi said “You're doing fantastic!”

“Problem 2! 4 + 9 =?”

“13!” he exclaimed.

“Aha, you got it!”

Bendy feels like he can take on any math problem with no trouble at all until… Baldi happened to say the third problem but it’s…. different.

“Problem 3! 1̸̢̠̱̣̙͚̮̣͆͆̀͝2̸̨̧̛͙̼̰̺͔̘͙̒̐̔̉̚͜9̵̟̠͕͈̳͍̿8̸̟̹͕̱̦̥̘͝3̴̢͉̟̘͔̲̹͍̟̐̿̔̑̾̊̄͊̿̀͘4̵̞͈͕͎̆̍̂͛̈̽͠2̷̮͇̦͕̊̈́̑̽̈́̐͐̕̕6̶̢̛͙̙̹̻̘̙͓̮̪̋̏̓́͒̒̂͋͆̕9̴͍̞̃͂̌̔̑͐͠8̴͙̉͗̄̇̈̀̕͘5̸̨̧̪̥̮̣̋̀2̸͔͑̿̃͌̐3̷̼̠̖͎̤̐͋̈͂̉̑͗͊͌͆̍6̸͙̹͑̌͝9̶̠̬̙̈́̉̌̾͊͘ + 1̷̡͖̳̯̞̥̗̬͛͐͆2̷̡̧̻̳̲̱́̈́͛̓ͅ4̴̙͈̉̅͗̆̑̃͐͗̈́̚6̷̨̰͎͚̘̦̞̳̫̙̔͒͠͝4̴̟̖̫̜̜̽̈́́̽̿2̶̻̮̺̜̞͇͙̱͚͗͋̍͜͝3̶͎̗̝͖͖̠̼̠̞̖̠͛͋̓̒͂8̴̨̪̟̝̭̖̣͎̟̌̃̌̈́̉̈͐̀͒̚6̴̨͈̮̱̬͎͚̙͕̓ͅ - 5̷̬͈̖̼̰̠͋̊̍̓͝7̸̧̱̹̘̫̬̰̣͖͈̹̋͂̅̒͌̓͊̓8̸͖̖͍̝̥̼̟͖̥̖̋͒̈͛͆͂͘͜3̴͈̂5̷̨͇͑̀͛͌̆6̶̧͕̳̲̩̜͓̯͂̓̑̍̆̎͝ͅ2̵̨͕̼̪̉̀̈́́͘͝9̶̥̥̊́͋̆͋̅0̴͇͍̭̑̑ =?”

The Ink Demon was dumbfounded when that last question came out nothing but all unbelievably gibberish and became impossible to be solved correctly in a matter of seconds, if that’s not the worst part; with audible numbers in Baldi's dialogue censored with static noises.

Bendy tried to make sense with this question but it was black out, with no further thinking or a choice in the matter, he typed in “Z-zero??”

Then he had gotten an X on the wrong answer, then the words in the screen had displayed "I GET ANGRIER FOR EVERY PROBLEM YOU GET WRONG" while Baldi’s expression had turned from a joyful happy into a “I am now going to kill you for that” angry scowl in less than 5 seconds. Then Bendy found himself back in the classroom, he looked the second notebook he had completed and then quickly grabs it as the sound of a ruler slapping on the hand.

He then walks his way out for door as the slapping closer is slowly getting closer, he grabbed the doorknob hesitantly, scared what might be waiting for him on the other side of the door and slowly and carefully opened it and poked his head out of the room cautiously.

He then looked down the hallway on his left and that’s when he turned his head to the right and his heart had out of the blue jumped to his throat after it’d suddenly got scared so very badly.

What he saw was Baldi, looking angry and slapping a leard stick ruler on his hand, ready to use it on the Ink Deviling like he was once a child as Bendy caught on what he is going to do with that.

Without thinking clearly, he ran for it like a monster was chasing his tail down the halls of the school. Bendy looked around for a place to hide, he looked francitly til he finds a door to another classroom, he grabbed it and opened it but that was a mistake on his part;

Baldi had suddenly heard thanks to his high hearing, he came around the corner just as Bendy locked himself inside the classroom with another notebook.

Hoping he would make Baldi feel better by answering the questions right, he grabbed the pad and got to work on the answers to two questions but the third question had happened to be a same one from before, he once again got it wrong and this time, different text came up.

I hear every door you open.

“I’m trying to get it right!” He exclaimed, as the school’s speakers rang out and said the following announcement.

Sometimes things are not what they seemed, If it’s a person or something else entirely, It’s now a good time to learn a lesson of the day: Let us learn the basics in behavior.

Then music begins to play over the speakers, Bendy looked behind him and Baldi had somehow found his way in, slapping the ruler in his hand. A rush of panic exploded inside of the Ink Demon, he ran around him and into the hallway just as the chalkboard had said “RUN.”

Every day i go to a school that likes to help with learning One two threes, they're the keys, Basic math, Very easy!

Bendy is running blind in the hallways, seeing that there’s no way to please Baldi, he looked behind him and see that Baldi is running after him, much more bit faster now.

To baldi's world of fun where no one leaves till' educated Every door is locked up tight, stay inside, Till' we're graded

“‘No one leaves till educated’!? What kind of school is this!?” Bendy bashed as he happened to be listening to the song being played over the speakers, he failed to noticed the broom, a life of its own had called out “Look’s like it’s SWEEPING TIME!” and sweeps Bendy away but thankfully, it’d swept him away from Baldi to another hallway.

The students try their best to Better their education Comprehend the material Study hard, relay every detail

“Oof!” he bumped into someone who was in a black sweater, jeans and what appeared to be socks, it’s a Principal-of-a-thing. “No bumping in the halls, detention for you.” he announced as hr picked Bendy up and took him to the detention room.

Nobody wants detention We only want attention!

*Click*

Bendy is locked inside the room when the principal had him gone in there, “This school is crazy.” he thought out loud, “What else could be worse?”

Even when life is tough Oddly quarters are enough.

It can get worse from there, the familiar sound of slapping had rung in Bendy’s ears once again. What could he do?! There’s only 25 seconds left until detention is done, there must be a way to stop Baldi.

This is how we live our lives searching For the answers inside of every page

Bendy looked around until he remembered the ax he had in his rucksack, he quickly gets it out and immediately began to chop the door down til it’s nothing but pieces of what was left of it. He then made a run for the exit as Baldi rounded the corner and sees Bendy running away from him.

And i'm here wondering if one day We'll finally be free from this cage Is it okay to have a feeling

Maybe there is more to this game However now no time to question So just behave!

Bendy ran away fast from the crazed professor as fast as possible, then hide in in one of the lockers and peeked if he’s still there and-

Try to add up excuses Nothing will make a difference Baldi hears every door that we open Following from behind we can hear him

There is no place for playtime Avoid them all from every side It's better to leave them be Follow his philosophy

Call Bendy “A crazy Ink Demon” for this but he could still hear the song, clear as daylight in the locker like it’s no problem for it to play in the locker like it was with him.

Sweep through the halls, To escape we'll have some sacrifices No room for jealousy I got no time to play hide and seek Because eventually he'll surely find me

Have to be brave, or better Keep behaving!

Bendy is sitting duck in the locker, Baldi doesn’t seemed to noticed Bendy at all… He thought he was in the clear until-

Now to just know what counts every inch of here is all that's in vain I understand, what's the solution?

Baldi found him, inside one of the lockers as Bendy looked in horror, there’s no sanity in his eyes. Without thinking, he slammed the locker door on Baldi’s face and then ran like a Gazelle being chased by a predator.

Bendy running for his life as Baldi is catching up with the horror.

I’m pushed a- -round, with all the pressure, To be here when i don’t want to stay,

Bendy can see the exit just ahead, he needs to keep going, running as fast as his legs can carry him as he can hear that Baldi is catching up with him.

There's gotta be some sort of exit…

Bendy had managed to reach the exit doors and opened them just in time to get away from the teacher suddenly turned into an insane psychopath.

To get away

Gone Rogue - Part 2 (Connor x AI/Android Reader)

Summary: Connor finds that a rogue AI (reader) from Cyberlife wasn’t completely wiped out when she had failed to comply with their codings and is still living in their servers.

Pairing: Connor x Reader

A/N: Holy crap you guys...The positive feedback is just so overwhelming...I’m feeling so much in my heart right now! You have no idea how happy I am from hearing about how you guys are enjoying this~ Thank you so much again! Seriously though... My week is made! I am really enjoying writing reader inserts especially Gone Rogue. There’s a lot of ideas going through my mind and I’m hoping things will go well! Please let me know what you guys think, format, writing style, etc… 

Tags: @purpstraw @jamiethenerdymonster

As usual: Suggestions and requests are most welcome!

“I’m [Y/N], Cyberlife’s rogue AI.”

_________________________________

As Connor made his way to Detroit Police Department to find Lieutenant Anderson, he couldn’t help but contemplate about your encounter. It was strange enough for Amanda to be speculating his every move but what was even more strange was that she had not noticed the foreign presence of another AI. Especially one that was not supposed to exist anymore. It was very uncharacteristic of Cyberlife to be careless when it comes to encoding or terminating their artificial intelligence, but then again with the increased cases of deviancy, Cyberlife seemed to be losing their touch. He ought to report you to the Cyberlife HQ but you had convinced him otherwise.

“If you report me, they will shut you down along with your thousand other vessels. You said I was a virus, right? The fact that you could see me means that I’ve infected you,” you had panickily bluffed. “If you take me down, I will take you with me. They’d have to deactivate you to find out what the hell happened, right?”

It would definitely be an inconvenience if Cyberlife were to deactivate him at this time. After all, this was only the start of a large investigation. Connor had agreed to keep his mouth shut, considering that he did not want to be interrupted of his case and you seemed mostly harmless. He would be lying if he said that he was not curious about your origin and purpose. It would be interesting to see how it all plays out.

Connor opened the precinct doors and glanced around. There were androids by the reception tables, attending to the citizens. One female android behind the counter was looking expectantly at him.

“She’s cute.” An all too familiar voice synthetically echoed in his head.

Connor froze, his LED flashing red. “Who-…”

He scanned around confusingly, trying to find the body that accompanied the voice.

You mentally rolled your eyes, watching through the RK800’s optical processors as he scanned everyone in the precinct reception. “My goodness, Connor, did they code you like this on purpose or are you really this uptight?”

Connor stopped scanning as he realized that you were still in the network but merely connected to him directly. “[Y/N], can you please not access my mainframe without informing me?” he irritably requested. “It is also extremely ill-mannered to be interfering with an android’s cognition while they are…conscious.”

“I’m not ‘interfering’,” you argued indifferently, your voice resonating in his headspace. “It’s more of…observing.”

The RK800 felt a slight twinge in his thirium pump. It was somewhat uncomfortable and felt as if it were a similar feeling to the combination of human annoyance and concern. It had to be simulated emotions as he knew he was a machine, incapable of being real. Right…?

“You can not be here, [Y/N],” he sternly advised, making his way to the reception counter. “If Cyberlife finds out that you are interrupting cognitive processes, we will both be investigated.”

You scoffed. “Cyberlife doesn’t have time to investigate every single server they have. They never even investigated the disrupted servers.”

Connor paused, frowning slightly. “Disrupted servers?”

You hesitated as you thought carefully about what you could expose to the deviant hunter. “The…betas…with…a minor…problem?” you started to panic a little, hoping that Connor didn’t pick up on your vagueness.

He inhaled sharply, knowing that there was more to what you were revealing. “[Y/N], if you are withholding any important inform- ”

“Can I help you?”

Connor was interrupted by the cute android receptionist that was in front of him. He mentally shook his head furiously. Cute? No. Those were [Y/N]’s words. The invasive, supposedly “terminated” AI that claims to be a virus. By definition, a real virus would have taken over the major systems in Cyberlife but instead, you reside in the processors of a prototyped, android detective. Did you have a goal in bothering him? Was he chosen to be your victim to ‘possess’ and take over the world?

Who are you and why are you still here? If Cyberlife attempted to terminate you, it meant that you could be dangerous or defective. It was even more troublesome that you were in his cognitive systems. He had yet to run a self-test and anti-virus purging program. Perhaps that would solve everything, but Connor knew better than to try as he did not know what influence you have in Cyberlife systems. It could endanger Cyberlife and his current investigation.

“Hey, Mr. Stick-in-the-butt. Are you just going to stand there or are you going to reply her?” you sarcastically asked, feeling his mainframes work a little too hard. You were extremely relieved that the android receptionist had cut in on your internal conversation. Things would have escalated and gotten a lot more complicated if he had demanded more answers.

Connor filed an internal reminder to return to the conversation with you and turned to the matter at hand. Right now, the deviant cases should be priority. “I’m here to see Lieutenant Anderson.”

“Do you have authorization?”

“Yes.”

Your eyes widened in fear as you realize what was to come. The receptionist and Connor established a connection, their LEDs turning yellow. You felt a slight disruption in the connection and could feel that Connor’s system glitching as he linked with her. He visibly struggled and squinted as they transferred authorization codes. A sharp pain was simulated through his entire headspace causing you to cry in agony as you felt as if someone had stuck several splinters in your chest.

“[Y/N]?!” Connor called out to you in concern.

Wait. Why was he so concerned about you? You could upset his internal systems if you were to go haywire. Yes. That is the logical reasoning. It would be problematic to be interfered.

As the connection ended, the pain had subsided as you were panting and gasping for air.

“I’m fine,” you strained. “I’m fine.”

Connor grimaced. “I am only a prototype, it is very likely that my coding has not been completed. I am sorry that you had to feel that.”

You coughed a little, finding a bit of comfort in his unneeded apology. “The most advanced prototype. You are the best Cyberlife has ever created.”

The android smiled slightly at the compliment. He caught himself as he did so, reasoning it as adaptation to appeal to his peers. You felt slightly guilty as you made Connor believe that the disruption had something to do with him being a prototype. No, it was their failsafe system that ensures encrypted information is protected from foreign anomalies. To protect you from me. It was what you wanted to tell him. You couldn’t let him know why Cyberlife wanted you terminated. You couldn’t let him know that you were somewhat involved in his investigation.

The android receptionist smiled graciously. “Lieutenant Anderson hasn’t arrived yet, but you can wait at his desk.”

As Connor made his way into the police department, you sighed and sat in his headspace, studying your android hands that shone and reflected in its pristine white glow.

A distant storm is growing.

Algebra II [Peter Parker]

Traces Of You Series [P.4]

Pairing: Peter Parker x Female!Reader

Warnings: Cursing, implied sex (briefly mentioned by a side character), mentions of drug use (weed) (not condoning illegal drug use or romanticizing it), angst, shitty writing, etc

A/N: More editing. I half regret how descriptive I got on my OC lmfao.

Part 3, Masterlist, Part 5

"You are the most organized guy I've ever met in my life.", she said, looking over his old Algebra notes with surprise. He was more surprised than her though. He didn't think he'd have last years notes in his mess of a room and he didn't think he'd be able to make his notes seem organized and still make it here on time. He looked organized, but it reality, his room and notes were as hectic as his double life. Peter was just good at keeping up appearances- at least in this case.

"Oh- I'm-I'm not that organized."

"You have a highlighter color code."

"Alright maybe a little- I just.. got..bored." He cringed at how that sounded. Actual nerd.

Her brows furrowed, "Bored? How bored- I'd do anything before I color coded my notes- I barely even take notes, which explains a lot, I guess.."

He just sighed, "So uhm.. where exactly are you struggling?"

She looked over the notebooks he had sprawled along the small table in her apartments little dining room, eyes scanning the pages for a few moments. He just watched her, still wondering if all this was real. He was here, in her apartment, helping her with schoolwork. Three weeks ago, he didn't even know she was a she! Life was unfair- but it was also so weird. One minute, all he knew about his neighbors across the hall was that they constantly wore hoodies- the next, he knows one of them is a stunning girl his age, who needs help in Algebra. Wow-

"Alright, I'll tell you right now, I recognize absolutely none of this shit- except that the dates are from last year- do you even have Algebra II right now?"

He shook his head, "No, I take Advanced Calculus now."

"Calculus? I don't even want to imagine what that's like.."

"It's not that bad-"

"Yeah, for you maybe. Us regulars tend to hate math and usually suck at it."

Peter lets out a little laugh, "Really, it's not that bad. Look, let me show-"

"Parker. I only need help with Algebra II right now. I'm not taking Calculus next year- especially if I fail Algebra II because you wanted to show me Calculus."

He raised his hands in defense, "Alright! Alright. Strictly Algebra. Got it."

"Algebra II.", she corrected.

"Right. Algebra II.", he replied, moving to grab the first Algebra II notebook he'd used at the start of his Sophomore year. Thus starting the very long process.

"I hate this so much. Can't you just teach me enough to let me get a low C? I don't need an A. I'm just trying to pass, man.", she huffed, laying her head on her table.

Peter shook his head, "No. It'd be easier to just learn all you can so it's easier to-"

"I just want help on the things I'm being tested on, Parker."

"That won't help you in the long run and you know it.", he replied.

"It's not helping me now! It's just fueling my want to throw these damn books out my window!", she groaned into her table, hands balling into fists near her head.

So, Peter learned one thing about her by helping her with this. She was absolutely terrible at math- so much so she often confused even him. She kept mixing up problems with the wrong solutions and often got lost while she was solving said problems in the wrong manner. It had been hours and they'd barely gotten through much, if anything at all! The afternoon sun set long ago- and he knew he had to go soon, but by god, he didn't want to. This was frustrating, yes- but there was something about her. Something that made him want to stay- and no, it wasn't because he was seemingly enchanted by her. Yes, he found her to be stunning, but there was more to it than that. It was something he couldn't pinpoint. She was just different, but not in that cliché way. She just truly wasn't like any girl he'd ever met. She didn't go to his school, so she didn't know how much of a nerd he was or how low he was on the social ladder- if he was on it at all. She only knew him as a helpful neighbor- so far.

She was like a new start- a breath of fresh air.

She didn't know him as Penis Parker like everyone else did. Not as the guy Flash liked to torment or the huge loser that geeked out over Star Wars with his best friend. She only knew him as Peter from across the hall. Peter from Midtown. (Peter, the guy who color coded his notes when bored.) Peter Parker, her helpful and okay at Algebra neighbor. It was nice.

"If you throw them out the window, we'll never get through this, and then I'll forever be in debt to you for returning my mail.", he joked, hoping to earn himself a laugh or some sort of positive emotion from her.

She lifted her head to look at him, amusement flickering in her eyes, making him grin softly. Something. "My name is [Y/n]."

[Y/n]. "That's a pretty name..", he wasn't too sure how he didn't stutter through that- he'd just said her name was pretty. MJ would die if she'd heard- she'd give him such shit about it.. Ned too, probably..

She gave a small amused smile, “Thanks?”

Peter didn’t know what to respond to that with. Insist he did find it pretty? Make himself look and sound even more like some cli-

"So, brainiac, how are we gonna get through this? Either I'm really that bad at math, or you're an awful teacher. If both are true, we're screwed and you're stuck being in debt to me forever.", she said, pulling him from his thoughts.

"So I'm not Parker anymore? Bummer, I was getting used to that.", he shrugs, "I can just keep coming over to help you. Eventually I'll find some way of helping you learn this- I mean, if you want, you know. If-If you don't want me-"

"Sounds fine to me, Parker. I can't have you over everyday though. Sometimes my cousin has people over and they get really loud."

"You can come over to my place- if you want. My uh- my Aunt won't mind. It's usually quiet anyways..", he offered.

She stares at him for a moment, but for him it feels like forever. Was it too soon to make that kind of offer- "Okay.", she says. One word- something so simple, but his hearts so excited. "I'm not sure exactly what days he'll be having people over though.. so I'm not sure how we should plan for that."

"Well- uh- you can just text me.." Smooth, Peter. Nice job-

"Yeah. You can give me your number, I'll text you when I need to."

"O-Okay..", he responds, ripping a little piece of blank paper from one notebook he hadn't filled up entirely. He wrote down his number in pencil and slid it her way. Now he was wondering if she was going to give him hers or- his Spider-Sense was going off. Damn- someone was in danger. Now? Of all times?

"Uhm..", he begins, "I uh- I have to go. I have to go grab some things for my Aunt from the store and-"

She waved her hand, cutting him off, "You don't have to tell me your plans. You gotta go, then you gotta go. There's no need to explain anything to me. It was cool of you to even come by and try to help."

"R-Right.. well- you can keep the notes and stuff- you know, so you can go over them on your own if you want? I don't- I don't need them anymore."

She gives him a little half smile, "You just don't wanna clean up after yourself."

"Huh- no! No- I'll clean- I will, really quick-", he starts closing up the notebooks, but her hand grabs his wrist and he freezes instantly. His nerves are going haywire, and his Spider-Sense is not helping. For once, he hates his heightened senses. He hates how he can see, hear and feel everything about this moment. He absolutely loathes that he can feel her hand so intensely against his skin. How easily he can smell her sweet perfume and hear the soft beat of her heart. He especially loathes how this will be on his mind the entire night- or maybe even his entire life.

"You just said you had somewhere to be. I was only joking. Go wherever you need to go, Parker.", she tells him, tone softer than he's ever heard it thus far. Her hand drops his wrist and he finds himself missing her touch- stop being like this..

He just nods, "Yeah- yeah you're right. Thanks.. [Y/n]. Bye." Her name tastes weird on his tongue- but not in a bad way. He kind of likes how foreign it seems- is that weird?

There's something unreadable in her eyes, and it looks like she's fighting back a smile- but why would she- "See you around, Parker."

He's nodding again, and then he's leaving her apartment. His thoughts are racing, his hearts pounding and his Spider-Senses are screaming at him now. He's still standing outside her door- and then he's rushing into his own apartment. He's still thinking about that moment while he suits up. He still feels her warm hand on his wrist while he's webbing some petty mugger up for the cops to find. The smell of her perfume still clings to his sweatshirt as he lays wide awake in his bedroom.

What the fuck is happening? What is this?

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tl;dr: nope

I got a couple of anon asks about this, and I’m also tagging @twist-shout-and-shells because they asked me to, but I have to say - I don’t know anything about comics, I don’t know Marvel at all, so this review is just a meaningless rant. Like, I know so little about this universe that the first superhero movie I ever saw in my life was Thor, and the only reason they got me was because my mythology-loving ass assumed this would be about the actual god, you know?, so that was a very confusing two hours. Anyway - after this, I’m done with them. The ridiculous hype campaign they created around Infinity War actually activated my crow brain, which means I rushed to the theater because I was sort of expecting this would be a shocking masterpiece and any spoiler would ruin it for me, and - yeah. Never doing that again. Because, whatever - they do manage to come up with some good writing from time to time, and Black Panther’s success had made me hope they’d finally recognize that a solid, coherent and meaningful story is really the first thing you need, but apparently not? 

Ugh.

Anyway, here are main reasons why I didn’t like Infinity War.

1) No, we don’t need a new plague

Problem number one with this movie is that it fails to take into account that our IQ as a people has dropped about twenty points over the last thirty years (and I’m not even joking) and that means even a guy nicknamed ‘Mad Titan’ is actually given the benefit of the doubt (I don’t remember anyone thinking Hela might have had a point, but then again, women are known to be emotionally compromised at all times, right, so all that rage was probably PMS and crazy bitches, amirite?, can’t live with them, can’t live without them). And here, predictably, is the result:

I even checked Breitbart so you wouldn’t have to and while they seem confused as to whether they should support this movie or not (don’t watch because Captain America is played by ‘Comrade Communism’, do watch because Chris Pratt is a Good Christian Man), it’s still clear to everybody over there that Thanos, “an environmentalist wacko obsessed with salvaging the natural resources of the universe” is “espousing liberal jibberish”.

So, I’m going to keep it short and mostly sourceless because I saw a lot of people discussing this, but just to be clear: yeah, it is worrying that human population has basically tripled in thirty years, but the correlation ‘more people = more damage & fewer resources’ isn’t as clear-cut as some like to think. Also, research shows that women being recognized as human beings - that’s the actual way to solve this problem (see also x, x), which means that if Thanos had meant business, he could have used those frwaking stones to build schools and family planning centres. 

2) Your plan against evil can’t be just saying no

This is probably what bugs me the most both in fiction and IRL: saying ‘Trump is a moron’, ‘capitalism is bad’ or ‘genocide is wrong’ is not a political program. It’s a moral stance, and kudos to you, but if you want to make the world a better place, you need a lot more than that. But, nope - IW fell into this trap with such relish I can actually believe no one saw this as a problem - at all. When Thanos pointed out, rather smugly, that decimating Gamora’s planet had led to a new era of happiness and prosperity, she didn’t react in any way. We never saw Tony or Shuri mentioning the outlandish, extravagant idea that better and greener technology could actually save us all. We never saw anyone point out that when the richest 1% own half the world’s wealth, wiping out half of a Nairobi slum isn’t likely to do much for the environment. I guess it wasn’t relevant to the plot?

3) Turning your audience against the good guys = dick move

That said, our planet is objectively in bad shape, and writers and artists who are (or like to think of themselves as) engagés are more than welcome to discuss this - for all her faults, JK Rowling did that to perfection in Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them, focusing on the importance of conservation and taking a clear stance against animal trafficking. Other movies, of course, went a lot farther than that: my movie rec of the day is Okja, a masterful and soulwrenching look at how capitalism manages food production. But IW, on top of everything else, manages to be an anti-green movement movie? As if that was needed in any way? Apparently comic!Thanos’ goal was to impress Lady Death or something, and maybe they should have gone with that, because to me, movie!Thanos’ plan sounds like an ill-conceived and unfortunate parody of the green movement. In fact, eminent biologist E. O. Wilson’s Half-Earth explores this exact possibility - which is not about killing off 50% of the population, thank you very much, but about improving agriculture and urban structures so we can leave 50% of the world to the rest of the ecosystem. And maybe it’s just me, but isn’t it a bit weird the book came out at about the same time when IW’s script was being written? I try not to be a paranoid nutcase, but come on. Because what the movie does is that it turns Thanos into a sort of green Hitler whose only focus is the environment (“But he was a vegetarian!”), cue the creepy final shot of him going all ‘Schwarzy in the forest’ surrounded by clean-water creeks and happy animals while we are left counting our dead. The metaphor couldn’t be more obvious, and to be honest it is most unwelcome. Time and place, guys? I really haven’t seen something so revolting since I got to the end of the Da Vinci Code and realized atheists were the true monsters all along.

4) Being a hero doesn’t mean saving your friends

So this is starting to become a trend, and seriously, enough. If you’re a hero, then you need to think of something greater than yourself, and this is why your life will suck and suck and suck until your untimely death. Deal with it? And I can understand Loki giving up the Tesseract for his brother, because he’s always been more of an anti-hero than a hero, and his morals are shot to hell in any case, and I’ll forgive Dr Strange because he clearly saw something we didn’t, but what the hell was Steve thinking? Seriously, I keep seeing posts about how Pure and Noble Steve is, and guys, did we even see the same movie? Bringing Vision to Wakanda meant endangering an entire nation, and thousands of people there paid for that choice with their lives. It’s because Steve insisted in not seeing the big picture - or accepting Vision’s own wishes - that Thanos even succeeded in the first place. If they’d destroyed the stone, Thanos would never have gotten his hands on it, and Wakanda would not have been attacked by a horde of alien demons. Sacrificing hundreds or thousands of nameless (black, African) warriors to keep one (white) man safe is not heroism - it’s cowardice. It’s assuming your own feelings and your friends’ lives count more than the lives of strangers, and this is the exact opposite of how a hero should think. Not that I’m surprised, since Steve already condoned the destruction of half of Bucharest to save Bucky, but whatever. Compare and contrast with Tony, by the way, who first tried to destroy the Time stone, then chose to sacrifice himself to save someone he didn’t even like? Yeah, that’s more like it. #TeamStark

5) Every single woman is defined by her relationship to a man

With the caveat that no emotion, connection or motivation is throroughly explored in IW because it’s an action-packed movie during which people never speak an honest word to each other (relying instead on posturing, movie quotes and sarcastic remarks), here is basically what happens: men have things, and women have men. Tony’s journey is mostly about saving Peter and also sacrificing himself for the world. Steve is all about his friends and various heroics. Dr Strange is a sort of ascetic monk playing the long game. Thanos wants to save the universe or something. And Vision is on a quest towards humanity? Maybe? But the women - Gamora is important because she’s Thanos’ daughter. Scarlet Witch is important because she loves Vision. Natasha (I think she’s in the movie? I don’t actually remember if we hear her speak) is on Cap’s side because Cap. Pepper only appears to remind us of what Tony has to lose. Exceptions to this rule include Shuri, whom IW didn’t quite manage to destroy; Loki, who was always female- and queer-coded, so I’m not surprised he ends up dying for the handsome and suitably Aryan hero; and arguably Starlord, who mostly fights for Gamora (what is a virtue in a woman, however, is a weakness in a man, because Starlord ends up fucking up the plan because of his love for her). And I know they probably tried to compensate for the complete lack of women in the movie by highlighting how powerful Scarlet Witch is and focusing so much on Gamora, but I’m an annoying person, so that didn’t work for me. Because, again, Scarlet Witch is a 2D character plucked directly from a Victorian dictionary’s definition of ‘woman’ (while the menfolk around her worry about the possible demise of the Entire Earth, there she is, channelling all her energy in being a good and loyal companion to her robot husband) and Gamora has no more control over her life in this movie than she had as a child? Her main narrative purpose in IW is to make us feel bad for her boyfriend and father, who’re both driven to kill her (for very different reasons) and suffer for her death (and don’t get me started on Thanos suddenly loving someone and what a stroke of luck, the one person in the universe he gives a damn about just happens to be standing next to him on top of a cliff when he needs to kill her). Seriously, why is it that female characters’ concerns still begin and end with romantic love? This trope that romance is the most important thing for every single woman needed to die, like, yesterday.

6) None of that actually means anything

Look, I’m a sucker of time-travel of any description, but I also think time-travel must be done honestly or not at all. Movies like Back to the Future or Arrival both use time bending to great effect, because the stakes are real and painful and there are all sort of complex decisions facing our heroes. But IW doesn’t care about any of that. The existence of the Time stone is not about ethical dilemmas or even turning up the drama to eleven - the one purpose of that thing is to make us hope that our personal fave is not dead after all, so we’ll keep watching this stupid franchise until the end of times. That finale could have been innovative and heartwrenching, and instead we already know it wasn’t. Samuel L. Jackson is apparently confirmed in Captain Marvel, which will be released next year, and we also know they’re working on Spider-Man 2, Guardians of the Galaxy 3, Black Panther 2 and Doctor Strange 2. Capitalism has very nearly killed the possibility of creating a well-written and gutting story, because the rule is, If it makes money, it goes the fuck on. Hence TV shows which no longer make any kind of sense but we all keep watching out of nostalgia, affection for the characters or dissatisfaction with our own lives, and also franchises which stretch the plot to new and boring limits (for instance, it beggars belief that Tony and Steve didn’t even meet in IW, and their fight never came up at all: I guess we’ll have to wait for IW 2, or Avengers 37: The One with The Talk). And here, again, studios are so greedy that they willingly disregard the fact audiences will reward ‘complete’ stories: for instance, Logan was critically acclaimed and made tons of money, but the risk of ‘permanently’ killing off a beloved character is still considered too high. And playing it safe actually works: IW costed $320 million, which is about 5% of the studio’s budget, and that investment has already been repaid in full (the movie made double that in the first two weeks).  

(Meanwhile, 21st Century Fox gained more than one billion dollars from Trump’s TAX REFORM THAT WILL MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN - probably a disappointing amount of money for owner Richard Murdoch, who has a net worth of 15 billion and is known to use some of that hard-earned cash to support laudable & important causes such as the privatization of public education, but hey, we all need to make do and move on, right? Right.)

So this is mostly it. To be fair, IW was mildly entertaining, and I thought they sort of did a good job in juggling twenty leads - we got no character development at all and no meaningful dialogue, but we saw everybody at least once and their lines were funny? Some moments were genuinely good despite a couple of bizarre plot points (I’m still unclear on why Strange didn’t create a circle of fire around Thanos’ arm, and very tired of the overused ‘Yeah, let’s save the most powerful weapons for last’ trope), so I wouldn’t say this was the worst movie ever made, but as I said, I’m done. I’ve given more than enough money to this franchise, so when IW 2 comes out, I think I’ll be a boring adult and watch it on TV as I’m doing my ironing or something. Good times.

anon asks:

Hi! I really enjoy your asoiaf m/eta - I was wondering, do you think that Jaime is on his best way to become Tywins "true heir", a scenario in which Brienne has a role similar to Joanna's? I.e. Jaime's genuine affection for her becomes his only sympathetic quality in the end, much like Tywin's genuine love for his wife appears to have been is only truly likable trait? Not to reduce Brienne (or Joanna) to that alone, but it would emphasize Jaime's doom and her rise nicely.

Hi, thank you! A couple things first, before I sink my teeth into the rest:

a) this is in no way an objective statement, but no matter how his arc ends, even if it goes the darkest way possible, Jaime has plenty of sympathetic traits (not necessarily qualities, mind) that allow me to find him relatable, and this makes him ALREADY incomparable with Tywin;

b) I don’t believe in love being a sympathetic quality or a mitigating factor per se, and I don’t think people who love are necessarily one step closer to *goodness* than people who don’t. For example, while I don’t see Stannis as necessarily incapable of love—I quite like the idea that under his stern facade there’s a lot of feelings, for his child, for Jon, for Davos, and maybe even for Melisandre, on top of his complex issues with his own brothers—even if we stick to the interpretation of Stannis as a loveless character, I don’t think this diminishes his fundamental goodness. On the other hand, there are the Lannisters, who are fifty shades of questionable, but they ALLL love so much!

The truth is that anyone can feel love. It’s not that special, you know? It’s just a human emotion—powerful, but not inherently moral. Not intrinsically a virtue, an end to be pursued at all costs, in itself and for itself, as traditional romantic narratives would want you to believe.

This is particularly true for a character like Jaime, who has been established as a lover since his first notable appearance in the books.

“The things I do for love (he said with loathing)” is probably his most iconic line, and it’s no coincidence that it’s associated to the TERRIBLEST, EVILEST THING he’s ever done (no irony). Jaime's debut in asoiaf is tied to the concept that lovers aren’t ALWAYS right just because they love, and to some extent the character himself is aware of it ("loathing” refers not to Bran, whom Jaime has really no reason to loathe lol, but to “the things I do”, aka the repulsive action he’s about to commit in the name of his love for Cersei). So the idea that Jaime’s ~one and only~ sympathetic quality can be his love for Brienne, when loving is both his original sin and virtually the only thing he’s done in his life, doesn’t work for me. (you might argue: but Jaime’s love for Cersei is incestuous and Badwrong, and Cersei herself is Bad whereas Brienne is Good! yeah, I think that line of reasoning is a slippery slope, because it places all the emphasis and the responsibility on who you love rather than how you love, as if the moral fiber and ~appropriateness~ of the object of your love is what makes your love noble. Mind, this is a very courtly-romance logic, so it’s nothing especially offensive, but I still don’t like its implications. It runs a bit too close to “bad people don’t deserve to be loved” to suit me).

with that said…

denying the centrality of love in these novels would be a terrible mistake. George is a romantic, and his attitude towards some romantic tropes isn’t deconstructionist at all, but rather a vibrant (albeit complex) celebration of them. Yet not all fictional depictions of romantic love are equal: I think Jaime/Brienne and Tywin/Joanna belong to two different genres. 

Jaime/Brienne is essentially a fairytale. It’s, of course, Beauty and the Beast. A tale about transformative love—love as acceptance of the other, love as understanding of the other, love as healing, love as the driving force for a radical viewpoint shift, a change of attitude and lifestyle (symbolized in the original tale by the physical metamorphosis of the Beast), love as having an actual positive impact on the world. As everyone knows, Martin loves the trope and makes it integral, more or less subtly, to several dynamics throughout the books. It has been stated repeatedly, even by the author himself, that Jaime and Brienne is one of those; the only question is whether there will be a subversion, and to which degree. Personally I’ve always seen as subversive the way GRRM gets rid of the problematic goodness = beauty equation (that exists in the original because fairytales are highly archetypal and symbolic and they rely heavily on simple visual associations, but they’re also inevitably intertwined with societal/cultural biases and the primordial fear of the imperfect and the deviant) and throws in the mix a Beauty who is actually Super Ugly! and a Beast who is a splendid, glorious, golden lion. When the Beauty is the Beast and the Beast is the Beauty, and the gender stereotypes inherent to the trope are repeatedly broken, the metamorphosis is necessarily mutual.

Can this fairytale have a tragic ending? Absolutely. Martin is a master at this—it’s actually what his deconstruction is about, taking fantasy/fairytale tropes and adapting them to completely different genres, causing that sort of cognitive dissonance in the reader, who isn’t used to see THAT trope take THAT form (see: “Martin kills all the heroes!”). However, whatever the deconstruction at work is in JB’s case, i doubt it will end up completely negating the transformative nature of the trope itself. But let’s set this aside for now, because it’s not relevant to the discussion.

Tywin/Joanna is different in genre, scope, meaning, basic tropes. To begin with, I don’t see Joanna as the Beauty to Tywin’s Beast. There’s no clash between two conflicting worldviews here; their love isn’t of the transformative kind, it’s a love that cemented their established identity, rather than challenge it. I think this pairing is written around a completely different cluster of tropes—the power couple, the “behind a powerful man there’s always a powerful woman”, and the dead mother/wife. I like to think of Joanna’s death as transformative in the sense that it represents the loss of the feminine---it creates an unbalance in an already awfully masculine-coded family, whose aftershocks still affect the lives of all her children even decades later. In short, Tywin/Joanna is a tragedy.

(seriously: if you’re looking for a parallel to Tywin/Joanna in Jaime’s narrative, a “humanizing the monster” kind of love, look no further than Jaime/Cersei. Jaime’s love for Cersei humanizes him, and Cersei’s love for Jaime (and her children) humanizes her. Unfortunately, the narrative makes it clear that theirs is a (figuratively) sterile, doomed kind of love. Like in a greek tragedy, we feel sympathy as we clutch our chests in anticipation for its inevitable collapse. Fate did to Tywin/Joanna what a downward spiral of irreconcilable differences, deep-seated grudges and destructive actions did to Jaime/Cersei, but the end point is equally tragic.)

Also: Jaime’s BATB dynamic with Brienne is not a “sympathetic” footnote squeezed in between his villain arc A and villain arc B, nor something that can be reduced to “his only likable trait” and waved off. It’s a crucial aspect of his arc (and Brienne’s, who is—let’s not forget—a major player from AFFC on) and has ramifications on the overall plot (Oathkeeper, sending Brienne after Sansa, Lady Stoneheart, not to mention the discussion around honor and oaths that is a central theme in asoiaf). It’s not a coincidence that Jaime is introduced as a pov only after he meets Brienne. This dynamic is integral to the story George is telling.

In comparison, Joanna (and by extension Tywin/Joanna) is something that belongs to the past, and only affects our story indirectly. It’s a dead character and a dead relationship. And that’s what marks the biggest differences, not only with Jaime/Brienne but also with Jaime/Cersei. Joanna, in the context of the narrative, is remarkable for her ABSENCE. It’s her death, the void that she created much more than her life, that has an impact on the characters. It doesn’t help that Tywin, the one person who’s able to remember her as a fully fledged human being, isn’t a pov either. GRRM gives us only scraps, and it’s up to those of us who care to put together the pieces of the puzzle of who Joanna used to be. This is, of course, a despicably convenient treatment of a female character on the author’s part, even more despicable since it’s not an isolate case in asoiaf. There’s no easier way than a dead mother to fabricate a sad background for your protagonist, and it also solves the problem of making her fit within the narrative, giving her an actual personality and things to do, etc. We expect better from a writer of Martin’s calibre, and that’s where the criticism comes from.

But lazy sexist writing aside, why does George give us so little?

I think it’s (in no small part) because he understands the power of certain romantic tropes, how they seduce the reader’s imagination—how humanizing they are. Tywin’s love for Joanna and Joanna’s love for Tywin, if explored in depth, would humanize Tywin to the nth degree.

But Tywin isn’t supposed to be given the sympathetic treatment. Of course, GRRM knows better than make him a cardboard villain, so he gives him nuance, he gives him contradictions, among which there’s a dead wife he loved fiercely. But he doesn’t flesh it out. He doesn’t give us a detailed story, only scattered bits and pieces, generally second and third hand information. This relationship isn’t made for the stage but for behind the curtains, because Tywin’s ~feelings~ need to remain veiled and largely inaccessible to us, just as his inner monologue is: we aren’t supposed to sympathize.

Jaime, on the other hand? Jaime gets a pov and TWO romantic relationships fleshed out in depth, one of which is a BATB dynamic with a heroine. His heart is on stage for everyone to see in a way Tywin’s heart isn’t—cannot be. I think it’s essential to recognize that Jaime and Tywin occupy different spaces in the narrative, and their potential to be seen as sympathetic characters is largely different. It’s hard for me not to see authorial intent in the way Jaime is perceived VS how Tywin is perceived.

This brings me to the other question you raised, if Jaime is on his way to become Tywin’s true heir. I can only try to answer this is by looking at what motivates him, at what could be a significant and satisfying resolution of the issues his character raises. 

Jaime never cared for power but, like every Lannister, he strives for greatness. Now that that greatness is unachievable through his swordfighting skills, he’s looking in other directions, other possible fields to excel in. One of those is certainly Tywin: family. The other is knighthood: his other family. Both failed him, and he failed them both. The way Jaime failed knighthood is obvious to everyone, but the way he failed his ~responsibility~ towards house Lannister is subtler: by trading his birthright for a place at Cersei’s side, he basically washed his hands clean, giving Tywin free rein to further hate and abuse Tyrion in an escalation of desperate and delusional attempts to avert the latter’s ascension as heir to Casterly Rock, that climaxed with Tyrion being accused of regicide and Tywin’s death. There’s a great image in Jaime’s narrative, of the crimson and gold Lannister sigil VS the white shield of the kingsguard, but the real question isn’t which one Jaime will eventually /choose/... it’s whether he’ll ever realize he can be NEITHER. 

The great lion of Lannister? That’s Tyrion. Every attempt to turn the clock back is futile. The Rock is Tyrion’s by right since the moment Jaime chose to step back and join the Kingsguard for life.

And the white shield… is Brienne. It’s always been her.

a scenario in which Brienne has a role similar to Joanna’s […] would emphasize Jaime’s doom and her rise nicely

But is Jaime Tywin in this scenario, or is he Joanna?

Because Joanna died so that Tywin could rise as the character we all know (once again, I side-eye the idea of Joanna being Tywin’s “conscience” or her death being his ~villain origin story~, but it certainly made him more unbalanced). For the parallel to work, Brienne has to die for Jaime to rise (as a true villain, as his father’s heir, as Cersei’s valonqar, whatever), which has been speculated, and which I’m aggressively AGAINST. Because Brienne is the next generation, Brienne is a character who can have a REAL positive impact on the world, while Jaime… let’s be real, Jaime is a relic. He’s a relic of Robert’s rebellion, of a time that doesn’t exist anymore. The “Greatness” ship has sailed for him long ago: 

he’s never going to do anything as remarkable and controversial as murdering Aerys (oh sure, there’s Cersei, but I wouldn’t consider killing her an accomplishment. A mediocre rehash of his one and only teenage hit, at best)

he’s never going to be Arthur Dayne, either. Who the fuck wants to be Arthur Dayne anyway? That guy kept a pregnant girl prisoner. Being THAT guy would be only a regression for Jaime. He understood that there are orders you can’t follow at seventeen, why should he revert to performing his duty uncritically at thirty-five?

oh, and of course, he’s not going to outmatch Tywin. DUH, he’s TRYING, but it isn’t a primary concern or a central motivation for him the way it is for Cersei, for example. Everything he accomplishes in his military campaign in the Riverlands, he does only because people fear Tywin’s shadow, not his own. We can talk until next week about whether the trebuchet threat crowns him as Tywin’s true successor, or is actually a strategy more similar to the way Jon and Dany (and Ned) use their enemies’ children to maintain THEIR peace terms (which are fair and righteous whereas Jaime’s aren’t, and that makes all the difference of the world, or not, ymmv!), but what really matters is how his military campaign ends: he dumps garrison, orders and all without a note as soon as girlfriend shows up with a missing cheek and a quest to fulfill. It’s not that he lacks the intelligence or the ferocity to follow Tywin’s steps—he lacks the resolve. He lacks the commitment, because he’s always, perpetually, split in two.

I think it’s that split, and his ultimately futile attempts to become great at one thing or the other when BOTH are no longer available for him, that is the central obstacle that Jaime needs to overcome. Because Jaime wants Honor and Glory, but you know what Honor and Glory are?

Two horses.

Enter the valonqar impasse, and a lot of speculation on Jaime focuses on how he will ~choose violence~. He’ll drop all pretenses of honor, forget about Goldenhand the Just, (optionally) embrace his role as a Lannister commander and dig his own grave in a pointless, doomed last stand to hold Casterly Rock from Tyrion’s attack, and when it falls, kill Cersei and himself. And to be honest, a lot of this sounds plausible enough—I think it’s almost a given that at some point he goes back to Casterly Rock, has a last confrontation with Tyrion, and yeah, likely kills Cersei. 

But it’s a tad too close to Tywin’s wishes to suit me: sure, Tywin would never want Jaime to kill Cersei and commit suicide, but would he want him to defend Casterly Rock against Tyrion? Fuck yes. He’d be DELIGHTED to see Jaime step up as his ~heir~ and fight against his own paranoia of Tyrion the monster child eating the Rock from the inside just like he devoured Joanna’s life. The greatest irony about Tywin is that the kid he wanted to be his heir couldn’t be more ill-suited for the role, whereas it’s the other two—the girl and the dwarf—who deserve to claim that role for themselves. Why change that in the end? More to the point, how does Brienne factor in this? What kind of impact does she leave? Jaime’s resolve to embrace his role as the heir to Lannister does not, in any shape or form, need Brienne to happen. Nor does his choice to fight against Tyrion, or to murder Cersei. Tyrion confessed Joffrey’s murder, and the relationship with Cersei was meant to go to shit since the moment Jaime lost his hand and stopped being her perfect mirror, possibly even earlier. Remove Brienne from Jaime’s entire timeline, and you still have basically the same arc. OF COURSE, Brienne’s importance on the story doesn’t hinge on her impact on Jaime’s narrative. But I wonder what’s the point---like, structurally---of writing a BATB dynamic where transformative love is a crucial aspect, and end it with “and so they parted ways and each one continued to do the shit THEY WERE GOING TO DO ANYWAY, Brienne as the knight who believes in vows and Jaime as... whatever Jaime’s up to”. Bruh, what a waste of narrative space.

And this is where I switch to purely speculative/wish fulfillment mode, so, HANDLE WITH CAUTION, lol. I think Jaime will reject both Honor and Glory and die as the Kingslayer, as nobody’s heir, as the Lannister who lost the Rock, unredeemed… in the eyes of everyone but us, and whoever will be holding his hand in the last moment.

A few weeks ago, I went to see Logan. As I watched Wolverine sacrifice himself so that his daughter and the new generation of heroes could, well, inherit the world, so that they could have a chance for redemption when it’s too late for him, I thought, THIS, this is I want from Jaime. To die, but not before he’s pushed HIS heir forward, the person who will save the world, who will be the hero he cannot be. To “plant seeds in a garden you never get to see”. Unlike Joanna, who had no choice in this nor any idea of how important Tyrion was going to be for the world, I want it to be Jaime’s decision. This is the only way we can go back to “the things I do for love” and redeem that statement.

Because it’s that statement, even more than Jaime himself, that needs redemption. What matters isn’t the “for love” part, it’s the “do”. See, Jaime has already done something unequivocally good for love. He jumped in a bearpit and saved Brienne. So why are we still having this debate? Because, well, the scope of that action was limited to him and Brienne, to that particular circumstance, and to the relationship between them. There’s still something egotistical in saving the life of someone you care for—it’s still a “I’m doing this because you are important to ME” logic. Me, me, me. The real heroism, the real sacrifice, is renouncing to the person you love—renouncing to your “dream of spring”, so that others can have it. It’s what Brienne does, when asked “sword or noose”. It DESTROYS her, but she INSTANTLY gets that her feelings of loyalty, devotion and, yes, love for Jaime are no justification for letting two innocent people die.

AND THIS IS WHAT MAKES HER THE REAL DEAL, FOLKS.

We still have to see how Jaime receives the choice she made. Badly, some argue, he’ll be pissed and she’ll fall from grace in his eyes, because what else can the Lady Stoneheart ordeal be if not a plot device to make Jaime go finally berserk, a set up for the valonqar? But I think the whole incident is going to leave Jaime genuinely Shook (TM). Not only because he’s suddenly getting all the receipts of why he’s a bad person in his face, not only because he’ll see what his father’s brilliant military logic has done to a formerly admirable woman like Catelyn, but also because Brienne’s lesson will HURT the way TRUTH hurts. He’s a person who’s sacrificed a lot for love, thinking it was worthwhile; Brienne’s choice will prove that it’s not. That he should have sacrificed his love to do the right thing, instead.

You need to serve something greater than your own emotions. This is the most important of Brienne’s lessons, and I think there’s a possibility that Jaime actually UNDERSTANDS it, because that would be the ULTIMATE change, for him. (so powerful that it could potentially break that thrice damned prophecy, even.) To see that his feelings, desires, hopes and dreams aren’t important. It’s neither Honor nor Glory, and in the end, it’s not even Love. It’s about doing the right thing, full stop.

I realize this is very fanficcy, but boy, do I love Jaime Lannister and want his arc to end in a not completely nihilistic way. :)

(sorry it took me so long!)