#if he wanted that mv to actually look good they should have shot it on a cellphone from 2015 and cut all that vfx nonsense | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

opalspring · 1 year

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Some observations about the gay Kazui theory

A lot of people have been discussing this and it’s super interesting so I wanted to share some stuff I noticed too! Posting this before cat since it’s possible this theory will get either debunked or confirmed by then.

Lyrics from Cat

First, let’s talk about the preview of cat from the 2nd trial song previews. One thing I personally dislike from the staff’s English translation is this part:

“Devotion-love, lame, cheating”

While the first two tl choices are good imo, the third part could have been chosen better. The reason for this being, while it’s not a wrong tl per say, 化かす (bakasu) means “to confuse”, “to delude” according to my dictionary. There’s also the expression 狐と狸の化かし合い (kitsune to tanuki no bakashiai), which refers to two people outfoxing each other.

While I get this might be for localization purposes, I feel like the word “cheating” has connotations in English that are way too different from the original in this case. What I’m trying to say is that we should probably wait for the mv itself to draw our conclusions regarding this (though it’s also possible this really is just about cheating).

These lines caught my attention too, but for another reason:

“Love + Fate = Crap”

“Disgusting playing-house + Disguise + Fake”

While at first glance, these lyrics make it look like Kazui might be a cheater (and not shy about it), I feel like this could be a case of Kazui lashing out after he spent so much time in a relationship with a woman when he’s not attracted to them in the first place. It’s possible Kazui actually saw his wife in a best friend kind of way, and that they only got married because of their families’ and society’s pressure, compulsory heterosexuality, you know. There Are a lot of suspicious things about Kazui that he needs to explain, but maybe cheating isn’t actually one of them. We’ll see, though.

Next, let’s discuss some things from the half mv.

How Shidou and Kazui respectively visualize their partner

This next section will reference Triage, where we have a look at Shidou’s family for the first time. As a quick note, there has been some debate over the woman in the mv potentially being Shidou's sister or other family relative but I personally believe she's his lover because of this part:

Shidou (we recognize him as he has the same outfit as in the rest of the mv) has his arm around her waist so I assumed they’re romantically involved because of it.

But how does this all connect to Kazui? You guessed it, the way Shidou and Kazui visualize their partner in their respective mvs vastly differs. Let’s have a look.

Shidou’s visual representation of his lover.

And here’s Kazui’s.

Notice anything? In my opinion, these choices were very deliberate. As various people in the fandom have pointed out, characters in mil mvs who have faces are very important to whichever story is being told (Rei in Muu’s mvs, Shidou’s lover mentioned earlier etc). So it can make one wonder, why does Kazui’s wife, who he obviously cares deeply for, not have a detailed face when we see her?

To continue this particular point, I want you to look at these consecutive shots from half:

It’s unclear who the blonde woman on the top is, she could be someone Kazui met at the bar, or a coworker etc. It’s not really important who she is for our theory, what’s to note is that these two shots come one after the other, and that the composition in both is extremely similar. My interpretation for this is that, between a woman who is in the grand scheme of things a stranger to him, and the woman he married, Kazui makes almost no difference in the way he visualizes them (as in facial detail). Because ultimately, if he’s gay, no matter how hard he tries, no matter the woman, he won’t be able to love them romantically. This could be what the staff was going for here.

The green apple and the pixelated person

There’s a cool detail about the two shots above. To start off, the first one’s composition is a little curious. It follows the rule of 1/3; 2/3 with Kazui in the third third of the screen, but the remaining part of the image feels strangely empty, save for the green light at the top.

It could represent Kazui’s solitude in the theater, but a few scenes later we get the second shot, where we see the green apple on one of the seats.

A fun fact is that, if you count the seats between Kazui and the apple, you notice that 4 seats on Kazui’s right seats the apple… Which corresponds to the second leftmost seat in the first screenshot. The apple was with him the whole time, and the green light stands right in the middle of the two. Hmm. But what does this mean? Honestly I’m not sure. If anything it means the apple is so important to Kazui it was given this special place.

But then there’s also the pixelated person in the back of the second screenshot. Who are they? They’re probably very important to the story, especially when the apple stands right between them and Kazui.

Since the mystery person isn’t in the first shot where we’re introduced to Kazui, it could mean that whoever they are/represent, Kazui would rather not acknowledge them. At least not until he has to.

Look at the lyrics that play when this scene is on screen.

“Where did I go wrong, probably from the beginning”

And then, during the same sentence, we get this Kazui who looks like he just had a revelation.

This sentence probably refers to the fact Kazui’s relationship with his wife was bound to fail, because of his sexual orientation. And the mystery person might be a representation of men in general, who Kazui could be attracted to.

The chair and what it could represent

At certain parts during half, it seems as if Kazui is talking to this chair. Some examples:

It should be noted that both times Kazui does this, the lyrics he sings are the same. This part in particular caught my eye:

“Please tell me what I should do”

Who exactly is Kazui talking to here? He could simply be thinking of his wife here, but since there’s so much emphasis on the chair, I thought they could be symbolic for an entity or a group of people Kazui knows. I have two guesses: it might represent either his family, or maybe society in general.

I don’t think it’s the former because Kazui seems at odds with them and possibly got disowned, so I feel like he wouldn’t value their opinion too much. As for the second option, it could be Kazui asking us what he should have done/ how he should have handled the situation (with him being gay and unable to love his wife romantically, but not wanting to hurt her feelings). It’s hard to know because we don’t have a lot of context for this part so it could be anything really.

Some parts of the lyrics that could specifically refer to homosexuality

These don’t really fit in any of the other points I talked about but if we look at them in the context of this theory they can be pretty telling:

“So many things I wish I hadn’t known, I’m just a coward”

“What I gave up a long time ago, why is it questioning me now?”

“So many things I should have known, I’m just a coward”

Kazui’s possible coming out to his wife

In my opinion, this part could be the aftermath of Kazui coming out to his wife. Let me explain. Here we have the apple (temptation/the forbidden fruit = the idea of homosexuality here?) in the background, so that’s one thing. Add to that the lyrics playing:

“All this time till now has hurt me, The scales of my heart have decided to sway”

This line could refer to the moment Kazui felt like he had to be honest with his wife, because as much as he loved her, pretending to basically be someone he wasn’t was hurting him. Hence “the scales of his heart swaying”. This scene then led to Hinako jumping from the balcony at some point, but at the moment we don’t know the details.

Hope you enjoyed!

#milgram #milgram theory #kazui mukuhara #I swear I have mil theories that don't involve gay ponders #even if the next one is about Muu lol

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here2bbtstrash · 1 year

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bts at a drag show/gay bar

i was already babbling abt how much i wanted to do this with my bias line and then y'all made me realize i should just make it a whole damn headcanons post so. welcome! here we are! here is my brainrot on how the boys would turn up on drag night at the gay bar 🏳️‍🌈✨ if this content is not for you, it costs $0 to just keep scrolling ✌️

knj: everyone expected that joonie bby would be flooded with attention from the people who came out tonight specifically in search of a tall, built daddy, but there's a group nobody saw coming that ends up swarming him first: the lesbians. they fucking love him, and he finds himself getting sucked into an hour-long conversation on the back patio about roni horn and rha hyeseok. he'll probably end up agreeing to start a book club with his new sapphic friends before the night is over (and he'll run into them all again the following weekend when he goes to support soyoon at one of her gigs lmao) 👭

ksj: entirely oblivious to what it looks like when a person is flirting with him, despite that being exactly what happens to him for quite literally the entire night. each time someone new walks away from the table, he'll turn back to yoongi and jimin with the same question: "okay, now surely that wasn't flirting, was it?!" only to be immediately told that yes, yes it was and no, nobody would sit through a 20 minute ted talk on the lore of maplestory if they didn't also want to sit on his dick. he'll argue til til he's half-hoarse from screaming over the music that there's no way everyone in the club could possibly be flirting with him - but frankly, he's not mad at the ego boost 🍆

myg: putting the suga in suga daddy, he's breaking hundreds at the bar to make sure everyone has a stack of singles to tip the queens, and alllllll the drinks are going on his black card. other than that he's pretty lowkey, mostly just sipping steadily at his whiskey and looking at his phone. when somebody finally gets nosy enough to lean over his shoulder and snoop, they realize that he's actively scrolling through his rotation of hookup apps and trying to match up people in the room to their profiles. might slip away for a sneaky link in the bathroom oop, but he'll be back in time to close his tab out 💳

jhs: full-send GAGGING at the queens and their dancing. he can't even stay in his seat because song after song he's jumping to his feet just so he can dramatically collapse to the floor with a gay scream, getting his life entirely with every new kick, flip, spin, and death drop. the word slaaaaaaaay! has never been shouted with more enthusiasm than it is tonight by this man, and he does not give a fuck that he won't have a voice tomorrow. once the show is over, he is the absolute center of the dancefloor, popping and locking and showing off his footwork like he was born to do it-- and the boys will definitely catch him practicing his duck walk at some point in the next week 🕺

pjm: without a doubt, he is the LIFE of the mf party, lost in the lights and outta his mind u kno?? it's literally just the like crazy MV, actually. will make everyone do shots as soon as they get in the door and then at least once an hour the rest of the night, if only because he really likes flirting (and by flirting i mean making out) with the shot boys. lbr he probably gets several shots poured or spat into his mouth, and if anyone's hopping up on the bar to get tequila sucked out of their belly button, it is absolutely this demon. and ofc he's bringing at least one person home with him - "it's gon' be a good night" indeed~ 😈

kth: disappears into the crowd a few songs into the set, but he texts the group chat that he's fine and just made some friends, so the night carries on without him. it isn't until the next performer is called to the stage - miss tata mic! - that everyone realizes he's befriended the queens, and they've done him up right: cinched for the gods, face beat to make his eyes even more smoldering than usual (...wait, did he bring his colored contacts from home?!), and moving fearlessly in borrowed six-inch heels. and of course, his choreo is flawless. he easily earns enough tips to pay yoongi back in full and then some 👠

jjk: the definition of 'happy to be here'. loves the lights, the music, the ~vibes~, all of it. he somehow knows every word to every single song, and the more drinks he has, the louder he's singing along. and the queens love him for being easy to fluster, the way even his ears flush with color when he blushes, so he gets a whole lot of ass and tiddies in his lap and his face (rewarded with generous tips, naturally). when the lights finally come on and everyone stumbles outside, he's a drunchies king, and he thinks the food from the truck in the parking lot is quite literally the best thing he's ever tasted. he repeatedly shouts 'DAMN!' up to the night sky, one fist swinging as he eats, until someone pours him into the car so they can all head back home 🍗

#i never know how to tag these lol #bts imagine #bts headcanon #idk why these all got so long i didn't think i had that much for everyone and then..... suddenly #anyway tag yourself i'm jk but also hobi #THANK U to the anon who reminded me about the video of tae in heels!!!!!!!#long post

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canyouhearthevoices · 1 year

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I was reading your analysis of the BOUNCY MV and loved it (your comments also made me laugh eheheh)! Also since you said you weren't sure about the red lights in the bike part of the MV, I was talking to a friend about the MV and they mentioned how SeongSang's shots are very reminiscent of AKIRA (the manga/film). The plot goes something like post-apocalyptic Tokyo which is corrupt and there's anti-government protests, terrorism, and gang violence etc etc. There's a bunch of biker vigilantes etc etc etc~ And the scenes are also very reminiscent of the MV itself, which I found super cool (I once mentioned how it'd be super cool if ATEEZ had footnotes for all the references they make lolol)

Ahh thank you, I'm glad you enjoyed it :)

Yes, I completely agree with it being similar to AKIRA. I've never actually watched AKIRA (which is probably why it didn't come to mind) but I agree that the themes and aesthetics are similar. The shots you have included are great examples. I imagine that KQ/ATEEZ/the creative directors did this on purpose - AKIRA is very influential and impactful on anime media, so this is yet another visual shortcut they've used for storytelling. Thank you for bringing this to my attention... maybe I should watch AKIRA.

We know that ATEEZ have a lot of inspirations from influential texts from various cultures - Britain, America, Korea, China, Japan - so it makes sense that they have done this. I think it's amazing, because, as I said, it synthesises and plays with older media to make something new, and it uses those medias to make the story easier for the audience to understand.

One of my film professors is big on the idea of using conventions of a genre to make your story easier to understand, while adding a unique flair to it - and that's exactly what ATEEZ do.

As far as their references - yes I would love to see them (although I think we can get a pretty good idea just from the way they express these inspirations). Believe it or not, I have had a not insignificant number of dreams that just involve me grilling Hongjoong on the storyline and begging him for the answers. I wake up in the middle of the night sometimes and see my ATEEZ poster and break out in a cod sweat because Hongjoong is staring at me and I know that he knows all of the little details of the storyline and gleefully watches us get it wrong but will never tell us...

It's a love-hate relationship.

Cromerteez also added this;

I think I probably forgot to add this but the Z logo on the wanted posters is very zorro logo-ish 👁️👄👁️ (again, I'm pushing the footnotes agenda lol)

For those (like me) who don't know - the Zorro logo looks like this;

Or at least, I hope this was the one you meant.

Yes I definitely see it. I had a little Google and it seems that Zorro is about a man who is hunted by the authorities but continually outwits them, and uses his sword to carve the 'z' into his defeated enemies. I can definitely see the similarities to ATEEZ's storyline. The only question I then have is - did they write the symbol on their own Wanted posters - to show that they would never be caught? Or is someone/something (Guardians?) else hunting them and has put the symbol on the posters as a threat?

The scene is ambigious enough that it could be interpreted either way - and we might need to wait for another MV, the Diary version of the album, or the next comeback to get an answer.

But thank you so much for sending this ask in! I really appreciate it and it definitely sorted out some of the questions I had about the MV. And reinforced my point about visual shorthand in storytelling.

#ateez #atiny #ateez theories #say our name #first ask thank you <3 #outlaw #bouncy #akira #zorro #mv analysis #the world #the world ep 2: outlaw

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btsdreamcourt · 2 years

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Sunday, August 28, 2022 ⥈ Fic Review #1

Dearest Readers,

We are delighted to share BTS Dream Court’s Fic Review for the month of August! Each month, we highlight an Esteemed Member of our Ton and a piece from their personal library. This month, we are proud to share that Baroness AJ @bangtanintotheroom received this honor.

TITLE: Delta Disorder

PAIRING: Hoseok x Reader

SUMMARY: “What should have been an easy sleep becomes an ordeal that not even your wildest imagination could have come up with.”

Read Here

What our Queens and Court Officials have to say about this fic:

❝ Delta Disorder was absolutely mind blowing. I remember reading it after those teaser photos were released and I was like 'wow, this is incredible!' The author did an amazing job creating the characters and their personalities. And the way it was pieced together was just the icing on the cake. It flowed smoothly and captivated you. By the time I got to the end, my eyes were wide. It was simply amazing and the author is very talented. It was a great read. ❞ - Queen Dee

❝ There was not a single moment where I was bored while reading this, AJ did a great job at keeping readers entertained. I absolutely loved Hoseok’s POV, this thoughts really helped us understand his character and definitely added to the overall reading experience! ❞ – Queen Val

What was your inspiration for Fic Title Here?

My inspiration came from the MV and photos from MORE! Hobi just looked like he was up to no good in that jester hat and outfit of his and somehow, the idea of him as a sleep paralysis demon just clicked and made sense.

Which of the characters do you relate to the most in Fic Title Here and why? Which was the most fun/difficult to write?

I guess I’d relate to OC the most? Just trying to get a good night’s sleep and then BAM! In comes a demon who decided to make you the lucky winner 😅 Hobi was more difficult to write because I wanted to get across how he views OC as a plaything for amusement rather than an equal.

How long have you been writing? What made you decide to write?

I have been writing on and off for about thirteen years now. My brain is always brewing with ideas and once I found out that people went and wrote them out, I decided to give it a shot. It’s fun comparing my writing from then to now 😆

What are your favorite tropes, genres, AUs, etc. to read and write?

It depends on my mood for reading, I can take almost anything, especially if there’s some humor laced in there. I have a soft spot for college AUs, there’s so many shenanigans you can include in them. I also love friends/idiots to lovers, it’s always fun to watch a relationship slowly go to the next level.

How do you overcome writers block?

I usually take a step back from writing and focus on more creative work instead, such as moodboards or banners. Looking for pictures usually helps bring my motivation back and gets the brain juices flowing once more.

What is the most difficult part of your writing process?

Um…actually writing my ideas down? 😅 My ideas tend to play out like a movie in my head so having to translate it on paper is rough at times.

When AJ isn’t writing, you can often find her playing video games, watching Let’s Plays, doing makeup, shopping or sleeping. AJ is a shoe department supervisor who hates messy customers and keeps blowing her paycheck on shoes. She’s working on refining her digital art in hopes of opening an online shop in the future. When AJ is craving something good to eat, she chooses burgers or pasta. AJ is very thankful for having such awesome friends and moots who inspire her every day.

BDC is proud to have AJ as a member of our Court and cannot wait to see what she shares next!

#fic review

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minkkumaz · 7 months

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hi omi :3

how was ur weekend!! or week in general.. lalalala mv was AMAZING. jisung han the man u ARE. 😭😭🙏🙏🔥🔥

drama by aespa is such soty material oh my gosh.

but omg i just got home from a meet that i was taking photos for.. and ngl theres this guy there that i find decent. but hes really close w some of the girls in his sport so mmm

but im obviously loyal to my #1!! kim woonhak!! ofc!

i dont know,, might be self projecting (i 100% am) but yearbook student gf w/ my woonmyungz! (sporty edition!!).

like imagine them wrapping up after a long game and their coach tells them to start clearing out the gym. as they begin to pick up the stray basketballs, you turn to pack up your camera.

jaehyun would run over to you, sweaty, his bangs stuck to his bandana, which was stuck on his forehead.

“babe! did you get that 3 pointer i made? tell me i did good…!”

he’d try to jump you with a hug, convincing you that the sweat could be washed off once you get home.

as soon as he heard the coach yelling for a brief meeting, you took it as your cue to leave, but before you could, jaehyun pulled you by the waist and planted a sweet kiss on your forehead.

..very sweet but very sweaty. you made sure to complain though, saying that you were too sweaty and needed his sweater to cover up the sweat on your shirt.

woonhak would approach you with a big grin, sitting next to you on the gym bleachers with a towel wrapped around his neck.

“hi baby! any good shots? are you hungry? you should come with us to eat some korean bbq.. coach said i could invite you.”

he’d be too caught up in his rambling to hear the coach yelling at him to start cleaning up the gym— you’d have to snap him out of it.

he quickly gave you a kiss and ran back onto the court, not before mouthing an ‘i love you’ though.

-🍉

HELLO MELONN ive had a pretty good weekend! ive done so much crocheting it is kinda crazy. made my first clothing piece and it turned out so cute! just need to add one more part but i ran out of yarn LOL

also the lalalala mv was actually crazy. i had to watch it like 5 times because everyone just looked SO good. felix was bias wrecking me very hard im ngl. but this comeback was actually so good that i will never forgive jyp for giving us NOTHING in those physical albums. THE CONCEPT PHOTOS WERE SO GOOD TO NOT MAKE MINI POSTERS LIKE THEY DID IN 5 STAR UGHH

anon i agree, kim woonhak should always be number one! as for me yungyu.. we just roll like that.

and imagining bonedo boys being your sporty bf :insert pensive emoji: like it has me giggling so bad.

THE SWEAT IS SO REAL TOO. like whenever someone is sweaty i literally want to die inside a little if they touch me.. but i guess its okay if its woonhak or jaehyun.. just ignore me scrubbing hardcore in the background.

#∞ ₒ ˚ omi's chats #༊*·˚ anonymous peoples #🍉 anon ·˚ ༘ ✎

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echoesofadream · 10 months

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love me again review

boring and ugly

harry styles ass mf

honestly they should collab. altho people would think harry was doing v a favor which would annoy me and also harry would look so ugly next to him so probably not. and harry is pretentious in a brighter way while v is pretentious in a relaxed way..

I did like the sparkles but both on clothes and like the way they filmed it and also thought it was cool to film in a cave w those thingies but. it was just too boring and like. rainy days was boring too nothing happened but it was STUNNING so yeah I think they should have just.. done a lil more, it still could have retained the relaxed vibe idk

also the red sleeveless turtleneck was terrible. it shouldd have had sleeves.

liked his voice slightly more but.. for the most part.. nahhhh

answering this first because I like the song a lot more.

lolll okie are you hating on him for me because you dont have to because im not a hater anymore. or as much. but your opinions are valid ofc! im going to disagree with you tho sorry because I know ive led you to believe im a hater alongside you :///

NOOO taehyung is what hs thinks he is what he wants to be! he could neverrr . I agree that harry would look extra ugly next to him so that may not be a good idea. and also I think taehyung is better.

first listen I didnt care for it a lot cause I was looking and listening with my hater criticism goggles but I took them off and I love it. I think this song and mv made me not believe that hes a poser anymore

wait I think the mv for love me again is stunning as well. maybe more than rainy days. I didnt even realize or notice nothing happened thats crazy for me. but its the way its filmed the shots and the beautiful otherworldly setting, and I think that taehyung delivers the emotion in the song so very well and real. thats why I was so captivated that I forgot that hes just standing there. but maybe something could have happened idk, hes got two more mvs coming and I feel like nothing might happen in those either. I think they might only be about the visual demonstration of the song.

i didnt notice the red turtleneck for the arms sorry. youre right it was kind of ugly but I liked that it didnt have sleeves sorry......

ok so me and my friend actually talked about his voice in this. So he is a baritone obviously and his voice is best in a very low register, but he also has a very wide range only that when he does pitch his voice that way it comes off very flat to me and kinda weak. But theres another side to this and its the fact that this song is about aching yearning straining and thats why I thought the strain of his voice in the "love me again" part especially fit so wonderfully. like his voice bleeding into a cry of pain. and the fact that hes singing karaoke makes it even better because the overall the vibe is a disco or jazz nightclub in 80s, a man singing karaoke about a lost lover. and thats why I think his voice being kinda weak at parts only elevates this feeling. to me, it sounds like shards of sunlight, similar to his vocals in film out which is one of my favorite vocal performances of bangtan, I love it so much. also his voice is like silky and honey like while being so raw and broken at the end.

.....thank you for your thoughts ! <33 giving me an opportunity to rant even tho you did not ask :p

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many-gay-magpies · 2 years

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tbh companies should just hire fans to do lore and shit bc i like our ideas so much better than actual canon. i feel like companies just add elements and scenes bc they look cool without much thought and fans are trained to treat every detail like its important. i bet half the lore is accidental bc they didn't realize the details added to ~spice it up~ would make people want to theorize

okay nOW im thinking about solon bc i think from an experimental/scientific standpoint, the organization would want to see how different species handle the superpowered gene. would it be too much of a reach to say they used a pregnant werewolf woman as a test subject? in the comic and webnovel, everyone is surprised that solon is mixed because "the two races are enemies"— which implies that at least one of those conditions (vampirism or lycanthropy) can be bred/inherited genetically. if most vampires are low-grade vamps with little function, i dont know if they could even Have children. that could explain solon as a whole- he isn't a half-breed made from the impossible union of a vamp/wolf couple, he was a werewolf cub who got force-fed vampire blood, and since those two traits shouldn't exist together, his body kind of shut down his ability. and NOW im thinking of a solon who HAD a power all his life paired with his lycanthropy, having that ripped away from him when he was turned into a vampire. imagine the bitterness and isolation from his brothers, the process of realizing his power that he took for granted is gone, and now he's a creature he instinctively hates.

i realize none of this is canon-compliant bc the brothers claim to have never seen solon's ability/don't know about his werewolf side (which is STUPID, BY THE WAY. YOU SPEND DECADES TOGETHER AS IMMORTAL TEENS AND GREW UP IN THE SAME ORPHANAGE THERES NO WAY YOU DONT KNOW), but i dont care this is mY hyper fixation and iM PICKING THE HEADCANONS

as for why sooha is still alive w her powers while being human, i think i can allow some "chosen one" plot armor or attribute it to the fact that she hardly ever used hers as a child due to her mom's fears, which allowed her body to grow and mature until she was strong enough to handle her powers, instead of being experimented on and forced to use it as a very young child whose body would crumble under the stress. the organization just didn't think of waiting long enough for these kids to grow strong enough to not DIE.

ok this is long last thing i LOVE LOVE UR CHRIS IDEAS. YES. THAT EXPLAINS SO MUCH.

-vrvr anon

SERIOUSLY THOUGH or like i told one of my friends a little while ago they should have had whoever wrote the album intros and outros write the webnovel because that wad some actually good/decent/compelling writing (way better than whoever the fuck is writing the webnovel now anyway). but yeah it really feels like a lot of the time companies just put cool-looking shots into mvs for the sake of aesthetics, not expecting them to be read into that much, but we are conditioned to read into everything as closely as possible so. that doesnt exactly work out for them lmao

about solon: that makes a ton of sense actually-- my ORIGINAL idea about him was that he was a boy that got turned into a vampire like the others, but then an accident happened and he got bit by a werewolf OR the organization gave him werewolf genes too just to see what would happen, but after everything we've talked about that makes way more sense. plus, vampires are literally dead, while werewolves are still living creatures—it would make sense that being a werewolf is something genetic, while vampirism isnt (the way i see it, vampires reproduce by biting people or giving them vampire blood to create new vampires—sexual reproduction just isnt a thing that happens with them). that also adds a WHOLE lot of angsty layers onto solon because... he was literally forced into being something that was the opposite of everything he'd been born as (i have a lot of feelings about werewolves being the pinnacle of life to oppose vampires being the pinnacle of death). fucking OUCH, dude.

and yeah no im totally ditching the idea of the brothers not being aware of solon's werewolf-ness or powers for the sake of this story because,, its dumb lmao. theyre his BROTHERS dude theres no way they wouldnt know. and on top of that—forewarning im gonna inject some more angst into this because i can—werewolves are pack animals, arent they? so now im getting this mental image of itty bitty baby solon, living in this small closely-knit little community made up of all the other genetically-enhanced kids and their moms, growing so attached to all of them; not just his brothers, but sooha and the other boys' mothers, too. that's his pack. his family. wolf packs raise cubs communally (or at least i think they do), so im picturing this little community behaving in much the same way; the eight mothers are closer than close, bonded through their shared experience at the orphanage. they take care of their babies together, live together, everything—then all of a sudden that gets ripped out from under them.

the orphanage has come to take back their babies. maybe the boys' seven moms end up being killed, so they really ARE left as orphans, and sooha's mom is the only one left. at the orphanage, the brothers' memories are wiped, so they dont remember anything about their families or the lives they had before—but solon has this sense of inexplicable loneliness, greater than any of the others'. for some reason he feels like he's lost something monumental and he can't even remember what. all he knows is these six other boys, who he doesn't remember but somehow feels like he's known his whole life—and they don't remember him either but they know how painful it is to be a wolf without a pack, so they comfort him. they become his pack; his family. and then, years later when they meet sooha—again, not that any of them know it—he hates her at first, or thinks he does; but deep down in his heart is an ache that says, i know you.

(OOF i didnt mean for that to get so in depth hsjdhdjdb-- i guess i had a lot of unexplored thoughts about werewolves, huh?)

oh and a couple less-angsty (sort of?) werewolf solon thoughts . in the scenario where the brothers all know solon is a werewolf and love him unconditionally regardless of it, i feel like their rivalry with the sunshine city wolves is less "ew disgusting abhorent werewolves trying to take us down >:(" and more "stop accusing us of murder, trespassing on our property, and attacking us unprovoked you fucks we are literally just chilling" lmao (especially because here the vampires are trying to lay low to stay under the orphanage's radar, and then these fuckass werewolves come in like MMMM I SMELL VAMPIRE. that's gotta cause some problems on the conspicuousness front)

i dont mind a little "chosen one" plot armor for sooha as long as its along the vein of "her mom had some weird super-resiliency gene that got passed down to her and made her body actually able to support the superstrength without collapsing" and not "she was a powerful princess in her past life and all of the male characters are in love with her". but tbh it would also make a lot of sense if her mom's insistence that she never use her powers ever gave her body the time it needed to grow and strengthen so that it could support them.

HEHE YEAH CHRIS!!

#asks #anon 📝#vrvr anon #dark moon stuff #dark moon universe #dark moon

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shiro-hatzuki · 2 years

Note

I loved reading your Es art analysis and wanted 2 ask what are your favorite milgram theories for each of the prisoners + es and jackalope! doesn't have to be like the ones you believe are the most likely to be canon or make the most sense but just ones you think are funny or interesting, I'd love to hear!

anon? you enabling me to scream about my opinions even more? /j

okay real talk, i can't say i have too many theories that are particular favorites of mine (tho i do have a few faves!) since i'm so indecisive and end up loving them all lol. i'll share some theories i've recently had on my mind, though!

theories below the cut! probably contains spoilers. also hyperlinks for days, and CW: several sensitive topics including prostitution, bullying, child abuse, and probably others that are standard fair for milgram will be mentioned.

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Haruka: killing my old self- wait a minute

this is the theory i came up with when i first was introduced to milgram. in this theory, haruka believes he was a "loved" child in his past and an "unloved" child in the present. he sees his past self as what he should ideally be, but through his unforgivable actions (hurting the girl, bashing the dog up with the rock, and possibly other actions we didn't see), he can no longer be a boy worthy of love nor happiness. he sees another child that is like his loved self or he sees his loved self in that child, and jealous (or a plethora of different emotions he may have), he kills that child. I hold this theory dear to me since it's my first one, but i quite like other haruka theories regarding the specifics of his motives as well as who the hell his victim is.

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Yuno: i don't get around that much

the theory goes that yuno is dating one older gentleman who has a lot of money (sugar daddy relationship), and the scenes we see are the 4 different times they met up that could have caused her pregnancy. as a side note, they probably met up more times than 4, but these are the times that she thinks might have caused it. due to the balloons in the giant balloon being different colors, though, i think it's more likely that she was an escort for 4 clients, but hey, it's possible.

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Fuuta: the gamer malewife of my dreams <3 /j

wow shiro, you have strangely specific dreams. anyways, this is a silly theory in which fuuta is actually surprisingly good at housework. fuuta has stated in his interro questions that his parents were divorce, and since he doesn't remember much about his mother, his parents probably separated early in his life. though i'm not sure if his dad was a working man or was struggling through some way or another, he probably had trouble taking care of the housework along while looking after his kids. that meant that the kids were either living in a messy house (not necessarily bad enough to warrant child protective services, just not spotless), or it was up to the kids to help with the chores. whatever happened, fuuta either prefers or is used to keeping everything clean, and from the shots we can see of what i assume is his current place of residence, he's been doing alright with keeping things relatively tidy (there are still some things here and there and his bed doesn't look made, but at least it's not like my room lol).

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Muu: the mv is in reverse order

i recently saw this theory after it was posted in the fancult server by a user that goes by pai, and i think it's super interesting! it goes that the murder of muu's victim and the ending scene actually happened before muu started to be bullied. victim girl was the subject of bullying, but then muu killed the girl. at first, her classmates feared muu, but eventually, they bullied her due to at least being suspected, if not know to be, the killer of victim girl. i'm not sure if i fully think this theory is probable, but i do find it interesting to think that the timeline we see is not reality.

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Shidou: "bad at my job" kirisaki

my half baked theory on shidou i posted a bit ago! according to the theory, shidou is a surgeon who does very vital operations that could save lives, but he's a really bad surgeon, so he can't save lives for shit. it's not that he didn't study and train properly, didn't take his job seriously, nor didn't care about his patients; he did all of those things! but for some reason, he keeps screwing up. the flower person at the end is actually a symbol of his dying career because he can't save people for shit, each flower being a patient he tried to save - thought he saved - building up to a mountain of failure. this theory is mostly a joke and an excuse to say "shidou sucks" a few times /lh. (i still love him, tho)

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Mahiru: the last supper

i think the theory that "mahiru's food we see in day 16 killed her lover" is really funny. okay, so it could be the yandere thing like in the psychogram (the song she covered) mv where it's intentionally killing him because "with your death, you can be bound to me forever" or whatever's going on there, but it's funnier to think that mahiru accidently put something her partner is deathly allergic to, she passed out, then woke up to find that her partner had died from her food. alternatively, her partner had choked on his food while mappi was passed out. oops.

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Kazui: faithful to the end

basically me going "haha noooo kazui don't cheat you're so sexy." the theory is that kazui didn't cheat on his wife with the woman at the bar. the woman was just a business partner, coworker, or even just a female friend. however, although there were no romantic feelings, it still stood in contrast with his relationship with his wife. he wasn't enjoying his wife's company anymore. he didn't love her anymore. he should have kept up the lie of being content with the partner he chose for his life, but he let the lie slip away. but both him and his partner were not as young as they used to be, and perhaps they had been married for long enough that the years they spent together amounting to nothing but a failed marriage gave a feeling of hopelessness, at least to them. thus, for better or worse (i think worse), they didn't divorce.

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Amane: childhood stardom

in the early days of amane's mv release, i saw a small theory going around that amane was literally a child star on a television show, and the entertainment industry was rough on her/possibly abusive towards her as well as other child talents (or at least the particular company she was contracted under). of course, nowadays you don't see this theory as much, and the religious themes that have been surrounding her since the beginning of the project have lead to the cult theory being more prevalent and the tv themes being taken less literally. i personally agree that the tv themes are much less literal when i interpret amane and don't believe that amane was a child talent for tv, but i still think about this theory with fondness.

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Mikoto: running from my dark days

the theory goes that mikoto was once part of a gang when he was younger. probably not yakuza, but a rag-tag street gang or even biker gang. he went to school and joined the workforce to get away from his past, but he couldn't break away from the gang so easily. the dude we see crawling away from him at the train platform looks a bit like what your average gang member might look like, and the imagery of bikes and bikers, knives, bats, and probably other street thug imagery are all over mikoto's tarot cards. i think this theory is neat, and i never would have thought of it on my own.

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Kotoko: i have what you want to know

the theory is that kotoko needs to work a few odd jobs to get by, one of them being an info broker. this mainly comes from the back-alley deal scene where she is exchanging slips of paper with another person. information is one of the currencies she works in when on the streets, thus why she seems so keen on gathering information. it also helps her own goals when she exchanges information with others, such as tracking down the people she's beating up (and potentially beating to death hi dude that kotoko probably killed). admittedly, my love for this theory might just come from my inexplicable bias towards info broker/informant characters. yeah, very specific, i know.

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Es: child of the prison

for this theory, es was raised in the milgram prison. this theory comes from the eleventh door being very old (assuming it was once es's cell) as well as the impression i got from things like undercover, which is that the clues to es's past are hidden within the prison, not just their forgotten memories. furthermore, if they were raised to be a prison guard, then that could explain why they accepted and fell into the role so easily. the details are still dodgy for me, though. were they born in the prison? or were they a young child that was brought to the prison and raised there? of course, it could just be that es wasn't raised in the prison at all, too. i'm hoping that the light novel could shed some light on the nature of wardens becoming wardens if not show es themself.

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Jackalope: literally just a rabbit

so we know that es is basically the only one that can hear jackalope, but after seeing various things in the milgram ip with the prisoners just considering jack to be a bunny and even treating him like a normal bunny, i wondered if he literally looked like a normal bunny. shidou's drawing of jack made this theory much less likely, though, since he drew jack with horns. idk if the prisoners assume the horns are attached to his head or not, but at the very least, the horns are on him. still, this theory was really funny while it lasted because es would've been like "he doesn't like it when you call him a rabbit. i guess he's not quite a rabbit since he's a mythical creature with horns." and the prisoners would've been like "horns??? you tripping, warden?????"

---------------

and those are some of the theories i've had on my mind for every character! the theories that are mostly not bsed from my own head are muu's, mahiru's, amane's, and mikoto's, though i currently can't find links to more in depth explanations of these theories (if i find them again, i'll hyperlink those too)(also this is not to say the other theories weren't thought of by other people. it's just that i thought of those mostly independently aside from some back and forth with a friend for one or two of them, and if they match someone else's theory, it's by coincidence. or blame that friend /j).

thank you for this ask, anon! it was fun doing a quick run through of all of these.

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sanstropfremir · 1 month

Text

ok nana unsubtly kicked me in the ass about this and i realized they were mostly done anyways so here we go! only four months late!

best stylings 2023 - first half

runners' up

rising - triples

there are two good stages with funky athletic wear, but it wasn't enough to bump it up to the overall category. mcountdown 230216, the show 230221

abyss - woodz

didn't promote it which is a shame, but the variety in the costuming for the different versions of himself is well done and it's a beautifully shot bottle mv.

moody - superkind

you got a fake member you gotta make it spooky!!! he's not real that's inherently spooky!!! anyways this is what i wanted them to do right off the bat some i'm glad they finally got my psychic memo.

golden hour - mark

absolutely fucking crazy. fantastic imagery. i think i talked about it earlier in the year but it's such a stupid and hilarious idea to make a whole diss track mv about a several year old meme and then actually make it strange and weird art. obsessed with it still.

sos - kang daniel

i'm also including the wasteland music sequence here because holy shit when this dropped i lost my mind. i'm always surprised by what kang daniel does bc i can never predict it, which over the last few years i'm coming to enjoy. and i absolutely did not expect him to produce basically an entire wild west mad max movie with equal the production value???? literally how did he do this. how. and then everyone paid it dirt??? it's an amazing mv and one of my faves of the year, the only reason it's not bumped up categories is bc although the styling was actually one of the only times tactical gear has been thematically relevant to a cb, its been so overused that it has no punch anymore, which makes me sad bc the tactical gear was good! and a good choice! and i feel bad saying it has no punch bc it should have!

small talk - kim sungkyu

we love when sungkyu acknowledges that he's annoying and a loser. all these outfits were so losercore. i loved this deviation from form for him; he's normally king wailer supreme, but he does smooth upbeat rock very well and it's a nice contrast with the capital y yearning that's in the bsides. it's only here bc he didn't promote much and i'm mad at him for putting dancing in the mv and then not dancing in any of the stages. mcountdown 230629, music core 230708, inkigayo 230709

ay-yo - nct 127

this is just here for taeyong's urchin outfit. well i'm a bit of liar it is actually a really fun early 00s inspired mv, but we all know the urchin outfit stole the show.

stamp on it - got the beat

i will hear NO slander against got the beat in this house, this was a great mv i love hot women planning a heist.

tricky house - xikers

FANTASTIC debut. does a really great job of establishing a character for them as a group and it's got such unique flavour. kq has made great use of their ateez money and also the lessons that they learned with ateez. i'm excited to see where xikers goes in the future, and since i'm writing this section from the future i can say that i do like where they've gone with full confidence. the only reason it didn't make the top list is bc the styling is kinda average for this era of kpop.

best overall

rose blossom - h1 key

youtube

i was aware of h1key before this but they hadn't really grabbed me, but damn this cb was so good. the mv is a nice mix of story and dance sections. plus a surreal section in the middle! and by virtue of being like the first cb of the year, they got the jump on this alt girl look that would be the dominating look for ggs this year. and i do think first did it best in this case, all the looks are smart with good group synergy and and a lot of creativity; when you do this type of alt-y punky style it's important that there's a diy element to it, which a lot of groups fail to grasp bc stylists are obsessed with luxury branding. h1key manages to avoid that mostly by being flops, but i'd like to believe its also bc their creative team cared about capturing the true spirit of the style.

stages: music bank 230106, mcountdown 230202, music bank 230203, mcountdown 230119, inkigayo 230108

tic tac - 8turn

youtube

honestly i was kinda ready to not like these guys since mnh shat the bed with chungha, but then i remembered that the mnh creative team is very good at their jobs, so here we are. this is one of the few debuts/cbs this year where every single stage was a hit and it was very hard to narrow down to just a few for here; lots of good emphasis on shape and colour and accent pieces with repeated motifs, which was a big part of the fashion in the 00s that they are remixing here. very strong debut especially for so early in the year and i'm looking forward to more.

stages: show champion 230208, mcountdown 230202, music bank 230203, show champion 230222, music core 230211, mcountdown 230223, music core 230225, inkigayo 230226

bonus: this absolutely hysterical 4minute cover (they even got the name bucket hats! not in the stage, but they had them in photos)

sweet juice - purple kiss

youtube

i'm not normally a fan of wes anderson or wes anderson inspired aesthetics because i find them too twee and perfect, but this wasn't too direct in it's inspirations and definitely had the spooky purki flavour. i really liked the uniformity of the costuming, both literally using uniform motifs and using the same fabrics; i really do miss the days when kpop costumes were design to actually be costumes with the group image in mind.

stages: mcountdown 230216, inkigayo 230219, music core 230225, music bank 230224, inkigayo 230226, music core 230304, inkigayo 230305

sour & sweet - bambam

youtube

bambam again proving that he's one of the few idols that knows his shit in terms of interesting styling. also if anyone knows where he filmed the mv/performance vid please tell me i need to know bc its so beautiful.

stages: mcountdown 230330, music bank 230331, inkigayo 230402, music bank 230407, music core 230408, inkigayo 230409,

bsides: music bank 230331, inkigayo 230409,

macarena - blitzers

youtube

i'm so so so glad blitzers got a bit more attention this year bc they deserve it and macarena was so good. perfect culmination of their goofy ass talents and the unusual creativity of their performance + creative directors. i'm even linking the mv teaser here bc its so goofy and offbeat and different. honestly i'd recommend watching as many of the stages as you can find bc they do different intros every time and it's very funny, but unfortunately tumblr has a link limit so i can't link them all.

stages: show champion 230426, music bank 230428, music core 230429, inkigayo 230430, inkigayo 230514, music core 230527

bouncy - ateez

youtube

yea yea yea nobody is surprised so sue me. this was a crazy followup to halazia and proved that ateez can deftly switch between serious dramatic performance and comedic but no less dramatic. i'm very happy to see how much work has been going into the main ateez mvs in the last year because it has very clear and striking direction that fits both their performance style and their creative ambition, as well as their growth as a group. also yea i'm not immune to neon cowboy shit.

stages: inkigayo 230618, music bank 230616, the show 230620, mcountdown 230622, music bank 230623, mcountdown 230629, music core 230701, inkigayo 230702

kick it 4 now - tnx

youtube

tnx had an absolutely banging 2023 and although kick it 4 now is has superior and more comprehensive production, love or die is also a very good cb, and both of them together have shown that they have a really good grasp on the genre of teen listlessness, from two different directions. kick it 4 now has been i think the most successful cb to actually capture the feel of first gen, and the creative team did a lot of extra work in order to pull that off. from all the graphic design to the goofy lil 90s style music show promos, to the styling, they had a clear goal and achieved it. i think it will be quite difficult for any other group to pull it off this thoroughly.

stages: music bank 230609 (the giant lyrics!!!), music core 230610, show champion 230614 (more giant lyrics!!), music core 230617, mcountdown 230622

shooting star + left right - xg

youtube

we all already know that left right was my most listened song this year, but the fact that the mv was b movie sci fi star trek themed? it's like simon made everything about this specifically for me thank you. xg blew everyone out of the water this year on every front; music, styling, choreography, you name it. i said i wanted groups to commit to their bits and i got it. they were completely unafraid to actually commit to the y2k nostalgia AND to harajuku styling; a lot of groups have weakly pawed at it but always back away due to the fact that harajuku and y2k are not actually 'pretty' fashion trends, which leaves their attempts half assed with no real understanding of why and how those trends happened. xg came saw and conquered the current trend in a way that only a japanese gg can do. my only annoyance is that they tone down the stylings when they promote on music shows, and i know why they do it, so it's not an annoyance at them, it's an annoyance at everyone else.

stages: shooting star - mcountdown 230202, con-tour 230217, the show 230221, inkigayo 230212, inkigayo 230205, con-tour 230224

left right - the show 230228, show champion 230222

circle - onew

youtube

absolute masterpiece. album of the year in every way. it's a profoundly beautiful unpacking of grief and the sadness that comes with acknowledging that things change, and the way that in that change life and humanity and story is eternal. a circle. the theatre imagery combined with the 60s style children's tv show use their similar but contrasting forms to illustrate the same point: something can be eternal and fleeting at the same time, and that heightens its value rather than diminishing it. the promo campaign was so thought out as well, i love the integration of the theatre imagery into the highlight medley and i highly recommend you watch it if you haven't. one of the best cbs from a solo artist in years.

stages: mcountdown 230309, music core 230311, music bank 230317, inkigayo 230319

ignore the fact this was almost five months late even though i started writing in like. november. i'm busy ok. it's planting season and i have to send so much post. the choreos post is the next most finished so that will probably be out before the styling second half one.

#is there even anyone left who wants to read these lmao. i mean other than nana since she was creeping my 2022 styling posts #kinda miss the pandemic days when we were all stuck on the internet but also no i do not #i'm trimming down on how much i do for these posts also since i dont have time to sift through all my saved links #just know there's a lot of one offs etc that are sitting in a mega playlist on my youtube.#im just focussing on the ones that made the biggest impact with me bc there's just so much its actually kinda crazy #text #kpop styling #what else did i even tag these as i dont even remember its been so long #kpop analysis #end of year posts #best of 2023

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yutahoes · 3 years

Text

Roses and Blood

pairing: private detective! Yuta Nakamoto x journalist! Y/N

word count: 4.4k words

genre: angst, a bit of smut, NOIR

summary : A high-profile cheating case just become a murder case. And the center of it all is the detective himself.

warnings : death, murder, blood, cigarettes, alcohol, sexual themes (masturbation) but not detailed, abuse, mentions of cheating, mentions of torture

This is my attempt to write a Noir AU, I’m not a fan of detective movies or this genre so this is the best that I can make up. This is heavily inspired by Secret’s Poison MV. 😁

taglist: @dimplehyunn @nominsgirl @jaesqueso @ahsshilee-me @readers-posts @justpeachygirl

written for Neo-City Noir Collab Call by @suh-insane

An extra cube of sugar in my cup of coffee. The only thing that changed in my everyday routine. The everyday bustling and hustling of the street outside didn’t change a bit. A typical day.

The calmness of the office was disturbed when the door opened. A strong scent of woman’s perfume hitting my nose. Roses. She smelled like roses.

The woman removed her coat, revealing a red button-down blouse hugging her figure. Blood. She reminds me of blood. A woman who might bring trouble.

Her heels click-clacking against the hardwood of my office and she slumped on the chair before I could remove my eyes from her. “I need your help.” She started, crossing her legs. “Detective Nakamoto.”

I leaned in on the table to assess her. An unreadable expression. She might be used to this. She took an envelope from her white handbag, sliding it on the table in front of me. "This is the file for Senator Hall." I opened the envelope which revealed a detailed copy of the said senator's information. "There had been threats to his life and I wanted to ask your help in finding who the mystery sender is."

There are different sized papers inside the envelope, letters cut from magazines that contain messages of threats. “Are you and the senator…?” Her lips curled up even before I could finish my sentence.

She handed a card, slipping it on the table. “I’m Y/N, Senator Hall’s publicist.” True enough, the card says that she is a journalist. “There are talks about how good you are, considering you found the mistress of Otto Holding’s chairman.” My jaw clenched. It’s not my best work but why did I get famous because of that? “Can I assure your help, Detective?”

I nodded with a smirk. She knew the business. Interesting. The woman placed the briefcase on the table, “This is just the first payment.” A briefcase full of money? This is serious business. She placed a gold-colored card above the briefcase with the letters ‘Fantasia’ written on it. “The senator usually comes to this club. He often gets the letters in this place.”

Fantasia? It’s a new high-end club that just opened for VIPs. This just narrowed down the list of potential suspects. They can either be VIPs or someone working in that club.

“I trust that you do your job discreetly,” She leaned on the table and I found myself staring at the low cut of her red blouse. “Mr. Yuta Nakamoto.” The way my name rolled on her tongue sent shivers down my spine. And as she left the office, her heels clicking on the floor, I was left with the scent of roses and an unhealthy amount of attraction for the senator’s publicist.

My fingers fiddled with the business card she handed.

Miss Y/N.

Trouble.

Will I get to see her again?

Fantasia is so posh, so high class, that security is so tight. It runs in an invite-only policy, the golden card that Miss Y/N handed. But even if you had the said invite, you needed to give them your personal information. Nothing bad will surely happen here.

The inside was not anything I imagined. The smell of alcohol and the blinding lights are the first thing noticeable inside, followed by jazz music playing. Girls in promiscuous clothes were serving drinks as another girl with flashy red clothes was singing on the stage. The color of rose and blood. And I was reminded of Ms. Y/N once again.

Senator. I’m here for a task.

After getting my drink from the bartender, I searched for a place where I could sit and surveyed the place. Before I approached a corner seat, I spotted the man I should be eyeing, seated on a velvet couch and staring at the girl on the stage. Based on the files, he has a wife and she’s very wealthy. Is this another case of a cheating husband? Then this case will be solved immediately.

The girl in the red dress singing earlier made her way to the crowd, stopping in front of the senator before giving him a smile and a wink. A smirk escaped my lips, case closed. I've been in this work for so long to know that his wife is giving him threats for having a girlfriend. A cliché love story.

The task was done even before I could begin so I drank a little to celebrate my small victory. Although the drink is expensive, I deserved this.

I'm busy minding my drink when the seat beside me gets occupied. "Hi." The same girl in the red dress singing on stage earlier. The senator's lover. "You're new here, aren't you?"

Does she keep track of the people here? "Want me to show you a good time?" What? But before I could say anything, she lightly pushed up her skirt to show me her thigh. What the hell is this club?

I turned around from her, facing the female bartender who was wiping the counter, and drank the contents of my glass in one gulp. I have to get out of here. The girl held my chest and I hastily stood up, feeling my head throbbed. What is happening to me? I felt my legs lose their strength as my stomach grumbled, sour liquid creeping up in my throat.

Immediately, I ran to the men's toilet to vomit everything in my stomach. The sour and bitter taste coming out of my mouth. Where did this come from? Is it the expensive drink? Am I not allowed to drink expensive scotch? Luxury life isn't really for me.

The moment I went out, wiping my mouth with my handkerchief, a surprise overtook me. A body was lying on the floor, a pool of blood by my feet. Turning it, I stumbled on my feet to see the senator as pale as a ghost. What the hell? I kneeled on the bloody floor, pumping his chest to at least save him but it's too late. He already lost a lot of blood. Shit, this is bad.

A stray bullet can be seen on the side of his body next to something glistening. An earring. Gold flower earring. The lingering smell of cigarettes, mint cigarettes. Before I could stand, the door opened followed by a scream of terror. This is really bad.

The door closed. I had to save myself. Even if it is the most questionable thing, I jumped out of the window and ran for my life. My hands were still bloody as well as my coat, the earring in my coat pocket. This is a first. What will happen to me now? There's only one person who saw me. They can't actually remember me, right?

It must be the distress, the lightheaded feeling of panic. A blinding car light made me stop in my tracks. This might be my death. I should have bought the fanciest drink there is.

"Detective Nakamoto?" Then the voice of an angel. I might be dead. "Are you alright?" The angel appears to wear a red shirt. The color of blood. Death. "What happened to you?" Her flesh feels warm, she's alive.

It is the distress, the panic, that I cling to her arm. The police sirens could be heard and I begged for her to take me out of the place.

The evening lights were blinding as she drove. Destination, unknown. Her phone rang and she accepted the call, Mrs. Hall. "My husband is dead." She stepped on the brakes immediately, putting her phone on handset before glancing at me.

I didn't hear what they were talking about but her stare at me got me ideas. She might have found out that I'm in the same club as him. When she put down the call, she only stared at me. "You killed him?"

"What? Of course not."

She raised an eyebrow, eyeing my bloody coat. "I swear I didn't. I saw him lying in his own blood when I left the restroom stall."

"Someone saw you." She opened the radio of her car, "And now, they're looking for you." The voice from the radio was talking about how the senator was found dead in the jazz club and that they're looking for a man in a coat. I hastily removed my coat, throwing it on the backseat of the car.

She laughed at that. "You think that's all, detective?" She showed her phone, a picture of me taken earlier in the club with a wanted sign on top. Shit! "I asked you to find who tried to kill him, not kill him."

"I swear I didn't," I shouted, putting my hands up. "I don't even own a gun and he was shot." I tried to think of other things I noticed at the scene of the crime. Come on Yuta, think. "It smells like cigarettes and I don't smoke."

She raised an eyebrow at that. "But why are you there?"

"You asked me to come there."

"I mean the restroom." She rolled her eyes. "If he was shot, why didn't you hear the gunfire? Why didn't you ask for help?"

I closed my eyes in frustration. Journalists really are inquisitive. "I was vomiting my drink and I don't know, I panicked. I thought I could save him." She started the car without a word and I just sat there, looking outside to see where we were going.

What will happen to me now? A wanted man. I can't return to my original life. Why am I in this mess? "I'm sorry. I believe you. I asked you for help and you were just trying to do your job." I nodded. At least she understands. "But for now, everyone knows you so I'll help you hide then maybe we can clear your name."

I have nothing to do but trust her. I need to clear my name. Why is my brain so blank now?

We stopped at a gas station to get some food. I’m pretty famished after vomiting everything but the moment I stepped inside the store, the news of the senator can be heard followed by a description of the person who killed him. The attendant stared at me before Y/N took his attention. This is bad.

Hastily, I made a beeline outside after cleaning my hands off the blood. Y/N is already outside with a lollipop in her mouth, leaning by her car. “I borrowed some clothes.” She should have said that when I was inside but where did she get those clothes? “You can change inside the car.”

Here? In the open? But she was already opening the door for me. The clothes were on the backseat of her car, a black shirt and jogger pants. And it’s better than having my bloody clothes so even if the shirt is a little tight, pants shorter, I have to wear this.

She eyed me from head to toe and for the first time, I felt exposed. A raise of an eyebrow followed by the lollipop removed from her mouth with a popping sound. "Do you have any place you can go?" Is there? They're probably at my apartment address by now. The police might be in my office. I shook my head and she smirked, gesturing to the car.

The city buildings are now gone, replaced by endless empty landscapes. It was a long drive. The news from the radio was replaced by jazz music, her phone kept ringing but she didn't mind it all. A blinding light changed the overall aura of the surroundings as she made a sharp turn heading to what seems like a motel. Why here of all places? It looks like a rundown. Is someone still living here?

I followed her to what seems like an endless hallway, the smell of cigarettes and weed in the air as the sounds of grunting and bed squeaking can be heard. She inserted a key on the last door to the right, opening it and switching the lights on. “Stay here for a while.” She whispered before casually entering the room. It smelled like roses. Her scent.

“Do you live here?” She shook her head, handing me a bottle of beer. Then why does she look so comfortable here? She removed her coat and casually throwing it to the couch in the middle of the room. Her arms filled with bruises and scars. “What happened?”

She shrugged, disappearing to another door and I took time to look around. A large window covered with dark curtains, bottles of beer on the floor under the table. I even saw underwear which made me immediately turn around. There was a sound of murmuring from inside the room, she might be on a call with someone.

I took my phone out of my coat pocket which revealed countless calls and even messages asking where I was. In annoyance, I just closed my phone and return it to the pocket where my fingers grazed at something sharp. The earring. The gold flower earring. It’s a woman.

“A woman killed him.” I immediately told Y/N when she went out of the room. “I’m certain of that.” She glanced at me in question. “Maybe his wife.”

“Mrs. Hall? She’s so kind.” She claimed. “Why would she do that?”

“Because he’s seeing someone else.” The statement obviously came as a surprise to her. Doesn’t she know? “Senator Hall is seeing another girl in that jazz club.” Her eyebrows were scrunched to focus on my words. Then it came. That girl. She was beside me before I took a shot of my drink. She might have put something in my drink. She listened as I narrate everything to her, no one can help me with this shithole but her. I need to clear my name and find who really killed the senator.

She bit her lip. “Do you really think she did it? The jazz singer?” I nodded. It’s only her or his wife. “I’m meeting Mrs. Hall tomorrow. I’ll try and look at this.” She rolled her eyes. “This is supposed to be your job.” I apologized. It really is. But my hands are tied now. I can’t do anything.

The death was all over the news. My face plastered on every newspaper and wanted poster. How quick are they to assume that I killed the senator? Should I just come clean and tell them that I don’t have a gun? That I don’t smoke?

With nothing to do, I laundry my bloody clothes and some of Y/N’s things. Lightly tidying up her motel room. Why would a girl like her live in a place like this?

And as I reached out from under the couch, I found out exactly why.

It’s almost midnight yet she isn’t back. Maybe she isn’t coming here tonight. So I settled to bed, removing the dirty shirt I have been wearing the whole day. The incessant pounding of the bed on the wall from the other room only made me annoyed and, well, disturbed. I can’t fucking sleep. The moans got louder, mattress squeaking that made it unable for me to focus on just sleeping. Fuck! I’m very well disturbed.

My hand slipped inside my pants, finger tracing the outline of my member while thinking of a certain girl in red lace underwear. Hand wrapped around the hard rod, I started stroking while creating soft moans along with the sound of sex next door. “Y/N,” I whispered and a gasp can be heard that made me open my eyes. She’s in the doorway, looking at me in surprise. Fuck! Immediately, I removed my hand from my pants then stood up from the bed that made me light-headed. “It’s not what it looked like. I…”

“Yuta,” she called. A sound that rang like a melody in my ears. There were tears in her eyes, a bruised lip, and a cut on her cheek. The reason why she’s staying in this motel room. Why that ring is under the couch. “I don’t want to come back to him anymore.” She choked on her tears.

Y/N’s cries got louder as I wrap my arms around her. “Then don’t come back to him,” I whispered. How long was this? Why isn’t she speaking up about this? Why is she hiding here? “I’ll protect you, Y/N.”

She stared right into my eyes. And I knew that very moment I shouldn't have let myself be taken by her good looks and smell. I realized that she was the kind of trouble I was looking for. The kind that would give my life a sense of purpose.

My hunches might be right seeing how there are bruises and scars all over her skin. How can a confident girl be this fucked up? Now, I have more reasons to clear my name. "When everything clears up, stay with me." I whispered then kissed her bare shoulder. My lips went to hers, gently kissing the bruises and cuts in her skin as if I could erase them. My arms trying to give her the warmth she needed.

When I woke up, she was nowhere in sight. Her car wasn’t outside as well, she must be off to work. The news is different now, something about the stocks dropping and the murder of another man in town. Maybe I can come outside now. But where should I go? There isn’t any diner or restaurant near the motel, even a store where I can buy food. I’ll have to wait for her to come home and wish that she brought food.

Luckily, Y/N did. Sushi. Along with the take-out foods is an envelope that contains papers inside. A picture is inside the brown file, the girl from the jazz club. “Is she the one you’re talking about?” I nodded. Although her clothes are different and with a lesser make-up on, she’s obviously that girl. There were details about her, her name and her address. “Do you think she killed the senator?”

“Why would she drug me if not?”

“That’s not enough evidence, Yuta.” She’s right. It really isn’t enough evidence to name her the suspect. Shit! Is there anything I can do to clear my name? “I’ll try and watch her, maybe I can get some answers.”

I moved closer to her, holding her in my arms. If we’re going to clear my name, she wouldn’t be doing this alone. She’s been through a lot. “I’ll come with you.” When she kissed my lips, I already knew her answer.

She was exactly that girl in the bar. My eyes can’t fool me. It’s a high possibility that she is the killer now that we’re watching her smoke a cigarette. All we need to do is get her alibi and see if she has a gun. But I'm positive that she is the killer. Why would she put poison in my drink? Why me?

Is it to frame me? She doesn't know me. Is it obvious that I'm a detective at first glance? Which came to my first question, why me?

That question still lingered in my mind. It's been a week since we saw the girl. Y/N would always leave in the morning and come back each night with new information about the Senator's case. She had been working closely with the lawyers and the police about the case, updating me of recent findings. "Can I come out now? Tell the police everything I know about the case?" I asked while brushing her hair, her head laying on my arm. "I have enough evidence."

"Evidence?"

"An earring," I whispered and she jolted to sit, looking at me surprised. "I saw an earring at the scene of the crime."

"Why didn't you tell me about this?" She picked up her discarded clothes in a hurry. Why? What’s wrong? But before I could ask anything, she had already left.

The news of the senator’s death was once again on the headlines but this time, my face isn’t the one flashing but the jazz singer’s as the suspect. She admitted to the crime, saying that she had been threatening the senator since he promised that he’ll buy her out of the club. Fantasia club is now under a lot of criticism for prostitution and the unethical labor of the workers. A gun with a silencer was found in her possession, the weapon used for the crime.

My picture flashed on the screen, not as a suspect, but as the detective who solved all of this.

There’s only one thing to do now. Go back to my normal life.

Journalists all came to the office and asked me a lot of questions. The newspaper was filled with pictures of me, claiming that I’m the best detective in town and the phone kept ringing endlessly in the office. I smiled, it hadn’t been a typical day even if I didn’t put an extra cube of sugar in my coffee.

I was on a call with a journalist from the local newspaper when two uniformed personnel came inside my office. “Detective Nakamoto, we need your help.” And I knew, this is something serious.

Maybe it already happened two times. I have been to this place before. Thrice. I have been here thrice. The mansion of the Chairman of Otto Holdings. It was his wife who asked me to come here before. Now, the reason was him.

The officials informed me about the corpse, stabbed in the stomach then shot in the head. The killer wants him dead, I’m sure of that. I saw him a couple of times before and he is a tall man. If someone were to kill him by stabbing his stomach, that person might be close to him. Who would do this? His wife? But she’s already living abroad. His lover perhaps? Someone working for him?

“Reports said that he’s here with his daughter. We’re trying to locate her.” He had a daughter? They showed a plastic bag with the pieces of evidence found at the crime scene: strands of long hair, cigarette butt, a bullet. Familiar shreds of evidence.

They let me look around his office, the place polished in cleanliness except for little splotches of blood on the carpet. Old marks of blood. On one side of the wall were torture devices: floggers, leather whips, handcuffs, and wooden cane. Either he’s into serious sexual acts or he’s just a demon who loves torture.

A picture hanging on the wall took my attention. A happy family. The young-looking chairman was standing behind his estranged wife who looked really happy and youthful. On her lap is a young girl with such angelic features. Bright shining eyes. Then a familiar thing caught my attention.

The gold flower earring was shining on my hand. The same earring the little girl is wearing in the picture. Why do I feel like I’ve been chasing the wrong suspect all along? I drank some beer, seated by the edge of my desk when the door opened. Before I could tell that the office was closed for the day, a strong scent of a woman’s perfume hit my nose. Roses. The familiar smell of roses. Y/N.

She removed the black coat she had on, revealing a red wrap-around dress that shows some skin below her neckline and stops midthigh. Her hair has gotten shorter since the last time I saw her. Lips deep red. Her heels click-clacking against the hardwood of my office. A sheer lace thigh-high stocking completed her look.

Her hand slipped on my neck, leaning close to whisper in my ear “Long time no see, hotshot.” My heart beating wildly against my chest. Her smell. That addicting smell. Her lips went to mine. Her taste. A deadly combination of alcohol, cigarette, and mint. “I missed you, Yuta.” She whispered in that erotic voice, fingers heading south my shirt.

I took the glass of alcohol to relieve the parching of my throat, finishing the contents before holding her by the waist. “It’s you, isn’t it?” A smirk escaped her lips. “You killed the chairman.” I should have been aware the moment it smelled like roses in the chairman’s house. “You’re his daughter.” The same eyes as the girl in the picture. “Why…?”

My chest suddenly felt tight. Like someone just punched my heart. I gasped for air. Mouth burning as if on fire. She just sat on the chair, crossing her legs while watching me. “Because he promised mom that he’ll take care of me.” She flexed her fingers, checking her nails. “I hate people who don’t fulfill their promises.”

Promises. The same thing the jazz singer said about the senator. “You…” I coughed blood. “You also killed the senator.” It makes sense now. She came to me. She wanted me there. She pretended to help me. The earring. Her reaction. The taste of mint and cigarettes. “Why? Why me?” My legs feel numb that I fell on the floor.

“Isn’t it your fault why mom left my dad? Why I’m in hell because of him?” It wasn’t a husband. It was her dad. He really is a monster. “Think of this as a little gift. You’ve became famous. Everyone will know that you died.” Her fingers glide on the edge of the desk, placing a small white pill beside the glass. “They just wouldn’t know how.”

I called for her name but she just stared at me with an evil look in her eyes. “I sincerely liked you, Yuta. I even believed that we could be together.”

“We can.” But every word felt like a thorn in my chest. “I love you.”

The corner of her lips curled up, kneeling beside me. “But you’re also like them. Promising things and not actually doing it.” I grasp her arm, words not coming out of my mouth. She took her phone. “Mrs. Hall, the work is done.” She stared right into me with cold eyes. “Detective Nakamoto is gone.”

Her lips were as red as rose as she smirked at me. Her dress, red. The color of blood.

The memory of when I first saw her came to me. The same smell of roses. The gold flower earrings on her ears. The same color as blood telling me that she’s bad news.

I should have listened.

But it’s too late.

She is indeed trouble.

The kind of trouble that will be the death of me.

Like a sweet poison. She’s a poison. Addicting. Deadly.

And then everything went black.

#neo city noir collab #yuta #yuta nakamoto #nakamoto yuta #yuta angst #yuta nakamoto angst #nakamoto yuta angst #detective yuta #yuta au #nakamoto yuta au #yuta nakamoto au

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kotokoharrow · 3 years

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Case Study 001: Haruka Sakurai

Note that this analysis is based around my own views. I do not present my way of interpreting Haruka as fact, and I am sharing this to see if others agree with me. If you disagree, you are more than welcome to say so and we can discuss it!

Content Warning: This analysis contains discussion of: Animal abuse and death, child abuse and death, emotional abuse, child neglect, murder, flashbacks and nightmares. Please proceed with caution if you are sensitive to any of these topics!

Evidence List:

Haruka’s Profile

Haruka’s Voice Drama

Undercover

Weakness

Two Breaths Walking

Voice Line

Timeline Convo

Character Analysis

A young male prisoner, quiet with downcast eyes. During Es’ early interrogations, he offered only a few constrained words in response. However, he has gradually become more talkative, forming an emotional bond over the course of his interviews. Once one begins to converse with him, his gentle pre-disposition is revealed.

He has a meek temperament and, even in Milgram, does not appear to be dissatisfied. Barely manages to communicate with Es and the other prisoners. However, during conversations, as if some meaning is lost along the way, there is a disconnect.

Haruka is a teenager with a very low opinion of himself, shown in his attitude in his voice drama and the lyrics of his song. When he appears in Undercover, he is shown wringing his hands together, avoiding looking at the camera, and when he finally does shows an unhappy expression. These pieces of his body language show that he is an anxious boy.

Haruka doesn’t appear to be very bright, with his song being written in hiragana, and he struggles to follow along with everything that Es says to him in his voice drama. He even says himself that he isn’t very bright. However, this is likely a result of his mother’s treatment of him, as he hasn’t been allowed to develop as he should have.

The shot in Undercover that shows his room shows young children’s toys on the floor. This, along with his speech patterns, show that he remains in a child’s mindset, despite being 17 years old. I believe that this is due to him becoming ‘stuck’ at an age where he experienced a traumatic event as a child - the event that revolved around fireworks and the girl in his MV.

Haruka’s primary motivation is love. He was neglected and emotionally abused by his mother his whole life, and so has been deprived of the love that most people receive from their parents. Despite love being his motivation, he shows in his interrogation questions that he doesn’t really understand what it is - he just knows that he wants it.

While his primary motivation is love, Haruka’s primary fear is abandonment. He is also afraid of being deceived, which again ties into his fear of abandonment. Haruka believes that everyone will leave him when they learn what he has done, and also believes that he will bring misfortune to others. This belief of bringing misfortune to others is likely a belief that his mother gave to him.

Haruka avoids situations and things that remind him of his trauma, such as animals and small children. This, as well as imagery in his MV, his mother’s treatment of him and his general personality, lead me to believe that he experiences PTSD.

The kanji in his given name means ‘far’ or ‘distant’, which likely references his personality, and the fact that he finds it difficult to get close to and communicate with others, due to having been deprived of connections for most of his life.

MV Analysis

I believe that Weakness takes place after Haruka has committed his crimes, and that it’s showing events from his past in the form of nightmares and flashbacks, which is why they appear distorted and there is heavy symbolism. As a result of this, even what we see in the MV is ambiguous as to whether it really happened, as dreams are not always literal and even with flashback-type nightmares, key facts can appear different to what happened in reality.

At the beginning of the MV, we see Haruka sitting in front of a dressing table, looking at himself in the mirror. The table is likely his mothers, as the perfume bottles on it seem to belong to a woman. Behind Haruka, we can see a window that shows that it’s daytime, but when his reflection in the mirror changes into his younger self, we can see that it is night-time outside (with red sky and a full moon). As the image changes, I believe this is Haruka experiencing a flashback, or perhaps a sign that he is having a nightmare.

I also believe that Haruka experiences PTSD as a result of his mother being emotionally abusive and neglectful towards him. I believe that this mistreatment when he was a young child explains a lot of his current personality - his behaviour fits in well with the behaviours of people who survive emotional abuse (doubting his own perception of things, a very strong negative opinion of himself, fear of abandonment).

There are many lyrics in Weakness that I believe point towards Haruka’s mother being emotionally abusive. The notable ones to me are: ‘Tell me, why are you drifting away from me? / Tell me, why do you say it’s my fault?’ and ‘If I tried and couldn’t say it / You would get angry at me and say “You’re hopeless”’. I believe that these lyrics are directed at Haruka’s mother.

As for imagery in the MV, when Haruka initially falls backwards from the dressing table, he falls into the liquid from his mother’s perfume, which shows how her treatment of him has surrounded him. Later, while he’s walking alongside her happily, she barely looks back down at him, and when adult Haruka pushes his younger self back, the following image is shown:

I believe the drawing in the background is meant to be Haruka’s mother, and his cruel treatment of his younger self is meant to show that he has internalised his mother’s abuse, going on to blame and punish himself for what he believes she would blame and punish him for.

Later, it shows Haruka as a child watching the fireworks with a girl his own age, whose face is blacked out like his mother’s. While it’s not clear what exactly happened, something bad happened to the girl, and she vanished from his life.

This is pure speculation, but I don’t think that Haruka killed the girl. I think something bad happened to her - possibly she even died - and that Haruka blames himself for what happened, whether fairly or unfairly. I believe that what happened was traumatic to Haruka, and he tried to avoid thinking about the bad part by focusing on his memory of the fireworks, which is a part of his denial.

Later, Haruka is petting a dog with his mother. Then, he goes outside to search for the dog, and comes across the dog’s body. Initially, I believed that Haruka had killed the dog, and I still think that this is a highly likely theory, as yellow roses are seen (which in flower language used to represent jealousy), and the lyrics that play during this point are ‘You praised me by saying “You’re crazy” / Thank you, I’ll do my best’ which, to me, alludes to children acting out for attention when they are being neglected, because due to the lack of positive attention they begin to see all forms of attention as a good thing, including negative attention.

However, in the timeline conversations, there is an exchange between Haruka and Shidou where Haruka has bloodied hands, and he tells a concerned Shidou that it comes from a bad habit of his, that when he’s tense he clenches his fists and his nails dig into his palms, causing them to appear bloodied.

Shidou: Sakurai-kun...? Could you show me your hand? Haruka: Hei!? No, this isn’t... it’s n-nothing... Shidou: Lend it to me. ...Your palm is covered in blood. Let’s have it disinfected. This... has it always been like this? Haruka: A-ah... I-it’s a habit... W-When I feel tense I grip my hands really tight, and my nails...

This detail has caused me to wonder if Haruka didn’t actually kill the dog. We see child Haruka looking for the dog nervously, and then appearing horrified when he finds the dogs corpse, then he looks down at his hands and sees blood on them. We also only see adult Haruka bludgeoning the dog. It’s common for people with PTSD to re-experience trauma from different perspectives, or with details changed, so it’s possible that Haruka did not kill the dog.

However, at this point, I think either explanation could be possible, so I’ll leave both of those theories here and move on.

Later, when it shows adult Haruka strangling child Haruka, I believe that this is when Haruka’s Milgram murder takes place. Before he begins strangling his child self, he is seen looking at a memory of himself being ignored by his mother, and becomes enraged, lashing out at his child self and strangling him, seemingly in an act of self-loathing.

However, I believe that Haruka is actually murdering his mother, having finally snapped and let out all of his repressed feelings. After the murder is over, I believe that Haruka was so horrified by what he did, he went into denial - which is something he has practice from doing his whole life - and the details of what he did became distorted.

In conclusion, I believe the following:

The MV takes the form of Haruka’s nightmares, which is why it’s ambiguous, unreliable and distorted

Haruka was emotionally abused and neglected by his mother since childhood

Haruka didn’t kill the girl, but he does blame himself for what happened to her

EITHER: Haruka killed the dog to try and get his mother to notice him, OR Haruka didn’t kill the dog but still in some way blames himself for the dog’s death

Haruka killed his mother directly due to his repressed feelings of anger towards her for abusing and neglecting him

Haruka is horrified by what he did, and on some level is in denial of the facts of what happened

Misc Analysis

Undercover

Haruka’s bedroom has toys that would be more appropriate in the bedroom of a young child. This shows that he is mentally stuck in a child-like state. Interestingly, there is also a drawing of a tree with two snakes that also appears during his MV. I don’t know what this means.

Haruka is shown strangling Es, which backs up the idea that Haruka’s murder happened when he was shown strangling his child self. Haruka’s mouth is wide open, showing that his murder involved heightened emotion on his part. This wasn’t a cold and calculated murder, this was a spur-of-the-moment response to something.

Interrogation Questions

I’m picking a few notable interrogation questions to analyse. In general, though, Haruka’s answers were much simpler than Yuno’s, which shows his child-like mindset and difficulty in understanding things.

Q: If one of your wishes could be granted, what would it be? A: I want to be loved.

Pretty straightforwards. This shows Haruka’s core motivation is to be loved.

Q: When was your first love? A: I don’t know.

Q: What’s the difference between romantic love and just love? A: Don’t they both mean that you like someone?

Q: What’s your ideal date plan? A: I don’t understand.

Despite his core motivation being wanting to be loved, Haruka doesn’t understand much about love, due to having been deprived of it his whole life.

Q: What kind of person is your father? A: I disappointed him.

This is the only time we hear of Haruka’s father. I’d guess that his mother blamed Haruka for his father leaving them, and that’s why he believes that he disappointed his father.

Q: Have you ever had a pet before? A: I have not.

Q: What is your favourite animal? A: I don’t like animals.

Q: What are some things you can’t deal with? A: Small children and animals.

Haruka denies any incident that was traumatic to him.

Q: What do you think of your family? A: I love them.

Despite having been deprived of love from his mother, he still says he loves them.

Q: Tell us what you enjoy doing. A: I like talking with the other prisoners.

Haruka talks about what he’s been doing since coming to Milgram, which implies that he didn’t have much he enjoyed doing beforehand.

Two Breaths Walking

A song about a boy meeting a girl. The girl tries to teach the boy about life, but due to the boy’s mother having taught him about life wrongly, he struggles to understand, and as a result ends up hurting the girl.

With Haruka as the boy, the girl in his MV as the girl, and his mother as the boy’s mother, this directly parallels Haruka’s MV. There isn’t much to talk about, because the parallels are pretty direct. It backs up the idea that Haruka’s mother was abusive, teaching him wrongly through her abuse and neglect.

Voice Drama

Es: Now, let’s begin the interrogation. Prisoner Number 1, Haruka. Haruka: O-Okay… I-I’m sorry… Es: Huh? Do you have something to apologise for? Haruka: U-uh, no… I’m sorry.

This shows us Haruka’s submissive personality. This kind of apologising for any perceived fault is very common in survivors of emotional abuse, because they learnt in the abusive environment that their abuser could find fault in anything, and to lower the severity of abuse, they would apologise. However, as this level of apologising isn’t needed or expected in regular situations, when it carries over it stands out.

Haruka: Ah, uh, um… I didn’t understand whatever it was you were saying. It was difficult. Es: Huh? Haruka: Uh, um… I’m sorry. I’m not that bright. Es: Haruka. What age are you? Haruka: Um… 17 years old, I think. Es: You think? Haruka: Uh, well… I have no interest in my age… I’m sorry.

Haruka isn’t used to having to think for himself, which is also common in survivors of emotional abuse. Abusers try to make their victims dependent on them, they may try to make decisions for their victims, or in the case of abusive parents may speak for them and deprive their children of the ability to develop. Taking into account Haruka’s cover song, I think it’s likely that this was the case with his mother.

Es: The only name left that hasn’t been said is Amane. Haruka: A-Amane. Es: What’s wrong? Haruka: I-I’m not good with them. Children at that age. A-Amane is a good girl, but she brings back b-bad memories.

This is most likely referring to whatever happened with the girl in Haruka’s MV. Haruka avoids thinking about traumatic incidents, even in his nightmares he avoids the details of them. Avoiding triggers of traumatic events is a symptom of PTSD.

Haruka: It’ll happen sometime. I… I… Even though I try to be normal, everything gets ruined. You, everyone, if you knew me… If you knew everything that I did… I’m… gonna be abandoned, that’s bound to happen. Because I’m a selfish killer.

Due to his abuse, Haruka solely blames himself for everything that happens. It’s likely that his mother blames him even for things that weren’t his fault, so this thought process stuck. Haruka’s primary motivation is love, and his biggest fear is abandonment.

Glitched Voice Line

Then what should I have done instead!? Tell me! Tell me so even I can understand!

I believe that this line from Haruka is addressed to his mother who he killed. He felt that he had no way to gain her love, and he is looking to her to tell him what to do.

Other Theories

Twin Theory

A theory I’ve seen says that the child in Haruka’s MV isn’t Haruka as a child, and is actually his twin. I don’t think we have any evidence to support this. I think that, given how much of Haruka’s MV is made up with abstract imagery, we should be careful with interpreting it too literally.

Autistic Haruka Theory

I have no issue with people seeing Haruka as being autistic, however, all of the theories about him being autistic seem to come from an outdated view of autism. I am autistic myself, and while I can recognise a lot of autistic traits in Haruka’s behaviour, I don’t think autism is what they were going for. I think that Haruka’s ‘autistic traits’ are, instead, supposed to show that he’s in a child-like mentality after a trauma that took place in his childhood, and that his behaviour has been strongly influenced by his abusive mother. I believe we have evidence that points towards this specifically, but no evidence that points specifically towards Haruka being autistic.

Unexplained

Why does Haruka say that his hands bleed when he’s nervous and what connection does that have to the blood on his hands in the MV?

What is the significance of the necklace that Haruka wears?

What is the significance of the girl in the MV?

What happened while watching the fireworks?

Did Haruka kill the girl?

What’s the significance of the tree and the snakes?

Final Verdict

My Verdict: Innocent.

I’m very glad that the popular vote determined that Haruka was innocent! My major reasons for this are:

1. His MV is the most abstract right now - it’s unclear exactly what happened, so any judgement based on his crime is going to be difficult. 2. For Haruka to open up more, I think he needs to be reassured that he will not be abandoned. I think that Haruka’s second MV will give us more details, because we have reassured him that he will not be abandoned.

Thank you for reading this ridiculously long thing! I hope to write these for all of the prisoners, and eventually catch up to where we currently are with the voting! If you enjoyed my analysis, please consider sharing so it can reach a wider audience!

#milgram #haruka sakurai #sakurai haruka #deco 27 #deco27 #analysis #mine

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atlafan · 4 years

Text

Girlfriend - One Shot

a/n: I have no fucking self control! I was going to save this for Friday, but it’s fluffy and cute, so here we are. If you haven’t seen Charlie Puth’s mv for Girlfriend, I strongly suggest you watch it. It’s so cute, and so is the song, which inspired this quick little piece. Enjoy!

Words: 2K

Warnings: FLUFF!

“Do you want to come over for dinner Friday night?”

It was a simple question that he had asked, and yet he was the one ready to shit his pants. Harry had been seeing Y/N sort of casually for about two months. They had met through mutual friends. It was cute, actually, he was having a pool party and one of his friends brought her.

“Harry, this is my friend, Y/N.” Greg had told him.

“It’s nice to meet you, thanks for having me.” She smiled. She was so cute, and polite. She excused herself to go change into her swim suit, and put her drinks inside.

“Where have you been hiding her?” Harry asked Greg.

“We work together! She’s super funny, thought I’d bring her along. That’s cool right?”

“Yeah, of course.” Harry peered over to watch her walk inside. “Might have to get to know her myself.”

“Good idea, sort of another reason why I brought her. I thought you two would get along well.”

And they did, maybe a little too well because she stayed at Harry’s house pretty late. She was one of the last people there, Harry gave her a tour of the house, they somehow ended up in his bedroom, and one thing led to another. She didn’t spend the night, which was just fine with him, but he did give her his number in case she ever wanted to come over again.

They started doing more things as a group: going to bars, dancing, movies, and game nights. Most nights ended the same, going back to one of their places and shagging.

“You know…I wouldn’t hate it if you spent the night.” She had said to him one night just as he was pulling his boxers on.

“Oh?”

“I really like fucking in the morning.” She said without missing a beat. Harry smiled big at her.

“Can’t say no to that now can I?”

He settled in next to her, spooned her all night long, and when they woke up she delivered. They had sex in her bed, and then had sex in her shower. They made breakfast together, and then he headed out. Harry was having so much fun with her he completely forgot he was sort of seeing a couple of other girls too. Unanswered texts and calls displayed on his phone…maybe he didn’t want to see them anymore. Maybe he only wanted to see Y/N. Did she feel the same way? Did she have a couple of other guys too? That’s what led him to ask her to a dinner at his house. Sure, she had been over for dinner before, but usually it was a long forgotten pizza as he fucked her on the couch.

“I’d love to come over! Can I bring anything?”

“Just yourself, babe.”

He took a deep breath after they hung up. He wanted to make her a fabulous meal, show her how serious he was about wanting things to move forward. Harry hadn’t had a proper girlfriend in quite some time, but he felt ready to take this next step with Y/N. He only wanted to be with her, he was sure of it.

He picked up a ton of ingredients to make a roasted chicken, and a ton of other sides. He was going to make mashed potatoes, and green beans, and…well…he didn’t let the potatoes boil long enough, so they were lumpy when he mashed them. He added sour cream and butter, but it looked disgusting. His chicken also was still frozen when he put it into the oven, so the skin burned.

“She’s gonna think I’m a fucking moron!” Harry was usually a pretty decent cook, but he was so nervous he couldn’t get any of the recipes right. “Fucking, Christ, get it together Styles.” He runs a hand through his hair and opens his drawer that he kept his takeout menus in. “Hi, yeah, I’d like to place an order for delivery…”

While Harry waits for his food to show up, he swiftly cleans the kitchen. He looked cute. He had a patterned short-sleeve button up on with a pair of shorts and loafers. His door rings, and he grabs his food. He takes everything out of their containers and plates it up to make it look like he made it. He essentially ordered what he wanted to make anyways. He gets everything onto the table and lights a couple of candles. He was happy with his work. His nerves were shot, but he was excited. Although, there was that little bit of fear in the back of his head that she’d just want to keep things casual.

When his door rings, he sprints over to it, and smiles when he sees her there. She looked adorable, as always. She was wearing a pair of jean-capris, and a peasant style shirt so her shoulders were exposed.

“Hi.” He says.

“Hi.” She smiles and holds up a bag. “I know you said I just needed to bring myself, but I brought dessert. I hate going anywhere empty handed.”

“You’re sweet, thanks.” He kisses her cheek, takes the bag, and lets her in.

“Wow, Harry.” She says as she looks at the table. “Fancy.”

“Expecting pizza?” He winks, and kisses her. “Please, sit.” He pulls a chair out for her and she sits down. He sets the dessert down in the kitchen, and then comes back out to sit with her. “You look really nice.”

“It’s just my usual.” She looks down at herself and then at him. She takes the glass of wine he already poured and has a sip. “Mm, my favorite, thanks.”

“Of course.” He takes a sip as well, maybe it would help him calm down.

“This looks really good, Harry. How’d you have the time after work?”

“Got some of it done this morning, it was no big deal.” He scoffs.

She takes her knife and fork, and cuts into her chicken. He watches as she licks her lips after and then dabs her mouth with her napkin.

“It’s delicious! Tastes like the chicken from that place we went to a couple of weeks ago with everyone.”

“Huh, you don’t say?” He takes a bite of mashed potatoes. “I’m glad we could get together tonight.”

“Me too.” She smiles and reaches to give his hand a squeeze. He stops her from taking her hands back to her fork. She furrows her brows at their hands and then looks at him. “Kinda need that to eat, Har.” She chuckles.

“I know, I just, uh, I wanted to say I like spending time with you.”

“I like spending time with you too, Harry.” She smiles. “May I have my hand back now? I don’t want this to get cold.”

“Right, sorry.”

“It’s okay.” She smirks. “You can hold my hand all you want after we eat.”

He smiles and continues eating. They both talk about their days and what they did at work. He loved watching her lips move as she spoke. He loved her toothy smile, and they she’d sometimes bite her bottom lip to suppress a laugh or two.

“I’d clean my plate, but I don’t wanna get too full. I promise it was really good, though.”

“No worries, gotta save room for dessert right? What did you bring?”

“I just snagged some cupcakes from the grocery store.” She shrugs. “Those ones with the lemon frosting you like so much.”

“Y/N?”

“Yes?”

“Would you…uh…would you…” He was sweating, and so incredibly nervous. He just needed to spit it out. She was looking at him, waiting. “I really like you, and I haven’t been talking to anyone else, and you’re really the only person I want to talk to. I hope you’re not seeing anyone else, but I get it if you are since this has been pretty casual.” He rubs the back of his neck. Her eyebrows were raised, waiting for him to say more. “I guess what I’m trying to say is…I wanna keep seeing you, I wanna see where this goes, and, well, would you want to be my girlfriend?”

Her mouth falls open. She smiles and bites her bottom lip, but still she doesn’t say anything.

“Oh god, you don’t want to do that yet? Is it too soon? I’m-“

“Harry.” She puts her hand on his shoulder. “You’re a wreck.” She giggles. “Calm down, babe. I’d love to be your girlfriend.”

“Really?” He says with relief.

“Yes…I was sort of expecting this conversation with the way you asked me over. Usually you’re not so formal over the phone.” She takes a sip of her wine. “I’m not seeing anyone else, either. I don’t know what kind of girl you think I am, but I’m usually a one guy kind of person, even when it’s just casual.” She licks her lips. “Besides.” She stands up and sits on one of his thighs, wrapping her arms around his neck. “I don’t quite think another guy could satisfy me the way you do.” He wraps his arms around her waist, and hides his face in her chest. She strokes a hand through his hair.

“Can we have the cupcakes now?” He mumbles.

“I’d like that.” She kisses the top of his head and gets off of him. She helps clear the table while he gets them out of the container. They each pop a small cupcake in their mouths. “Mm, I didn’t like lemon much until you showed me these, but I like it a lot now.”

“It’s tasty and refreshing.”

She bursts out laughing and he loves the way it sounds. Her arms move back around his neck as she continues to laugh.

“So, what stereotypical girlfriend things should I do first?” She asks, playfully.

“You could tell me you secretly hate all my decorations and take me shopping. That’s a pretty good one.”

“Or I could ask you to clean out one of your drawers for me way too soon and make you panic thinking I want to move in already.”

Harry presses his forehead to hers as he laughs.

“Let’s compromise on the most important one.”

“Which is what?”

“Leaving tampons in my bathroom.”

“Oh, Harry, I already started doing that.”

“You did?! How’d I miss ‘em?”

“I just put them in the cabinet under your sink…”

“Oh…I, like, never look in there.”

“Exactly.” She taps her temple. “Always thinking.”

His hands grip on her hips as he smiles.

“Alright, alright, what about other toiletries? Leave all your shit all over my bathroom, I don’t care. And then I’ll do the same to your place.”

“Sounds good to me.”

She pulls him close to kiss him, and he swings her around in his arms, hoisting her up to sit on top of the counter.

“As long as the sex doesn’t stop being so hot, I don’t really care how we do things.” He says against her lips.

“Oh, so that’s why you wanna lock me down, for the hot sex?”

“You caught me.”

His tongue swipes along her bottom lip and she opens up for him, letting him lick into her mouth. She tugs at his shirt as his hands slide up her thighs. She wraps her legs around his waist to get him closer, but it still wasn’t close enough.

“Harry.” She nips at his bottom lip. “Take me upstairs.”

“So demanding.” He smirks as his hands grip her ass to lift her.

“And yet, you have no problem listening.”

“That’s what good boyfriends do, right?”

“Mhm.” She kisses him as he brings her up the stairs to his bedroom.

“What do I get for being so good?” He kisses on her neck as he sets her down, her pulling him onto the bed with her.

“Anything you want.” She whispers in his ear. “I feel so bad that you were nervous earlier.” She pouts at him.

“You make me really nervous.” He kisses on her neck. “Butterflies in my stomach and everything.”

“Aww, well, no reason to be nervous now.” She cups his cheeks so he’ll look at her. “I’m all yours.”

#harry styles #harry styles one shot #harry styles imagine #harry styles fic #harry styles fanfic #harry styles x reader #harry styles x y/n #harry styles y/n #harry styles fluff #harry styles fluff fic #pls tag if you reblog #feedback is always appreciated

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engineer-in-space · 3 years

Text

a simple call of the wild review that is totally professional and not way too detailed by me (February)

It's gonna be a bit of comparing to previous powerwolf albums/songs and remember everything is my own opinion. If you disagree/agree we may talk about it in a civilized way, I actually love talking to others about this shit!

But otherwise (hate, insults, etc.) you can keep your opinion somewhere where I can't see it :) Also, the album has barely been out for a day and things change with time and I may grow to like certain things more. (but there's not too much that I don't like tbh) But I hope you enjoy this metalhead-gremlin's ramblings!

Faster than the flame

I had to listen to it quite a few times before I could say anything about it. It's a powerful start into the new album, however, it is (as previously stated) powerful but didn't blow me away like the first songs on the previous albums. (Fire &forgive, Blessed &possessed, amen & attack - wait am I just now noticing a pattern here? oh my god. Anyway.) Maybe I got that personal feeling that I want it to be Fire & Forgive, which is, of course, not possible and would be boring. So i think I'm not even critizing the song but rather the order of the songs.

It feels like a typical powerwolf song; both lyrics and instrumental. Fast, heavy, something about flames and burning - awesome. The two Latin parts (I think it's called the pre-chorus? man, I have no idea and will just throw around these words because my internet connection is too bad to look this up. But if you listen, you'll know which parts I mean.) already give me goosebumps. I also really, really liked the bridge (again?? idk??) aka the "flame, flame, burning wild in heavens name" part. This was the most memorable part for me after the first time listening. Of course, the guitar arrangement throughout the whole song is just... god bless. I must say that using the word "pastor" is dangerous because my stupid brain keeps thinking Attila is singing about "pasta" again... Oh well, moving on!

Beast of Gevaudan

Man, I've been listening almost non-stop since it was released as a single! At first, my head was comparing it somewhat to army of the night but after a few times this feeling was gone and it became an awesome new idea/song. The choir and orchestra part are so well placed and support the rest of the instrumental and Attila's voice perfectly. Again, much fast, very powermetal. I've grown very fond of the guitar solo. The lyrics tell us a little about the story of the beast and I. Love. Storytelling. In. Songs. Glad matthew finally came around to put his idea out there!

This song also has a video, which left me speechless at first. I love Attila's acting so much??? And making this sort of their own story of Jesus was such a cool idea. Production is high quality as well (didn't expect anything less after The Sacrament of Sin MVs) and there were really nice shots in there. I doubt that I will get tired of this song and this video anytime soon!

Dancing with the dead

That choir stuff in the beginning, following by that awesome guitar riff already had me. I couldn't stop listening to this one either. This might be, in my opinion, the most catchy song on the whole album. The intruments are in perfect harmony with Attila's heavenly voice. The transition into the guitar solo is so damn smooth and well done. I'm having a whole crisis about how good this song is.

The lyrics are interesting too! Again, there's a story to be told. As far as I can interpret it, being introduced to some darker powers and growing to enjoy them, despite previously having lots of faith, is what's going on here. It has this slight feeling of... corruption (in a good way of course). This makes me want to go dancing (with the dead)

This one also has a video! Once again, very high quality. Every band member had their "special moments/shots" and just looked stunning. But Attila left them all behind this time. Slow dancing, in a suit, with that smirk on his lips??? Well done, my dude.

Varcolac

This one's dark and heavy. It brings me back to the good ol' times of Lupus Dei and Bible of the Beast. Just with more orchestra, choir and overall harmony. It makes me so happy that Powerwolf is using so many real life legends and figures on this album! And they did such a good job with them as well. If this song was alive, it would be a scary beast.

The typical metal elements and orchestra/choir parts are very well balanced. And the organ throughout the whole song is fitting. It supports the dark and sinister feeling of the whole thing. My favourite part may be the "And as army we bing fire..." parts! Man, I just love werewolves. Also, I think Attila's famous gibberish singing made a return in this one!

Alive or undead

Oh boy,here we go. The piano in this one is incredible. "Here we STAAAAAAND!" Goosebumps and shivers. Everything about this is so emotional andreading the lyrics while listening just makes me want to cry, ok?! T_T Powerwolf has become so flexible, exploring different ways to make music. This could have been some kind of typical powermetal song but it's not and I'm glad about it.

Even if it's a little different, they never stray to far from what makes them special. The few parts, reminding one of typical church music would not have been necessary but are appreciated! They know when to leave out the guitars and go slowly. What bothers me a little, is that it somehow feels like Attila's voice had a tiny bit more potential up to the chorus. It could've been a little bit softer? if i can put it that way. But honestly this song is raw emotion and everything still fits together. If you thought their first ballad was emotional, buckle up, this one kicked me right in the feels.

Blood for blood (Faoladh)

Powerwolf ventures again into the folk metal territory and successfully conquers it! Could be a headline of something. Anyway, this song is a very worthy successor of Incense & Iron! It just makes me happy, its melody is so light - combined with your typical Powerwolf lyrics. Perfect song to start jumping up and down! It radiates motivational energy. Just like Dancing with the dead, this song has a very smooth transition to the guitar parts.

The melody is strong but still easy enough to quickly get into it! I can barely sit still and write this aaaa. Seriously, I am just happy with this song and will go jump and headbang a while to it!

Glaubenskraft

I have returned from jumping and oh no. It's a German song. Bold of them to go all out on that Latin beginning... it works really well though! It might be because I'm German but this song hits hard. Very hard. It's not easy to make this language sound good and ( if you don't happen to know much about German) the lyrics consist of a bunch of old words and grammar you wouldn't normally use anymore. But they made it fucking work!!! The quiet verses only make the pre-chorus and chorus itself heavier and blow me away. And SOMEHOW this super epic song with (made up, at least I'm pretty sure they don't exist like that) Latin words is about.. you know what Powerwolf writes about a lot. And I LOVE that. It's so subtle and only if you read into it, you're like "wait a minute".

This song has a feeling of corruption too. But not in a good way this time. It feels evil and intimidating and - honestly, I can't get enough of it. Everyone of my neighbours will think I'm some kind of weird Christian fanatic because I WILL yell "Glaubenskraft" just as much as I yelled "Stossgebet". Worth it, tho.

Call of the wild

The song with the same title as the album! (or the other way around, whatever.) This song is just catchy from the beginning to the end. Like many other songs its fast and hard. Just how I like it. Don't take that out of context.

The lyrics and instruments go wild (haha get it), with a really neat Latin pre-chorus. It's very fun to listen to. Personally, it makes me feel like I belong to the pack. That we're strong together, that we can say fuck it once in a while and just go crazy. The chanted part near the end of the song reminds me strongly of Sanctified with dynamite (ya know "die, die dynamite" and "call, call, call of the wild") and it's really cool they pick up on old things once again. Be it intentional or not. It's a reminder that they still are who they were back then - and their music is still fucking incredible.

Simply an epic song, strong vocals, strong guitars. I really, really like the intro. Attila has to sing so many words in such little time, does he even need to breathe now and then?

Now I'm wondering what came first; the album title or the track title? Chicken or the egg?

Sermon of swords

First of all: WHAT IS THAT OMINOUS VOICE IN THE BEGINNING. Mark me down as horny and scared. Ahem.

I really like how the verse and the chorus have their own theme and melody going on and yet they're connected. The chorus is super catchy too! And just say it yourself "Sermon of swords", how cool does it sound??? The choir in the beginning is a really neat introduction into the whole song. The lyrics match the whole album, very much a soundtrack to go on a crusade to, like Raise your fist, Evangelist or Christ & Combat. Just... "AAMEEN!" Ok, I'm actually going insane here, calm down, Feb. These might be my favourite lyrics of the whole album I think?? (unless I said that somewhere else already, then i have more than one favourite.)

The whole song has a more "classical" feeling to it, not only in the Powerwolf sense but also in the Heavy Metal sense in general. BUT. Orchestra and choir are prefectly mixed, especially supporting Attila in the chorus. The guitar solo is really cool and sounds very Greywolf-y, if you know what I mean. It's just Matthew's style.

Undress to confess

The name of this song says it all. This is your friendly reminder that no matter how much they preach about Jesus or the Devil, Powerwolf should not be taken too seriously. When I first saw the title I couldn't help but chuckle a little.

The melody is pretty catchy and easy to remember, the organ and general approach reminds me of Demons are a girl's best friend. I absolutely love how the lyrics are on that thin line of somewhat poetic and ridiculous. Let me provide two examples here: "all the world we posess for desire and sin we carress" - man, this sounds pretty.

And there's also "dressed to hide the dark, and obsessed to ride him hard on the.... crucifix." Yeah, I... I don't know what I expected here. Anyway, this is how you describe church sex without actually using explicit words. (why are you booing me, i'm right)

Still really nice to listen to and have a good time!

Reverent of rats

We arrived at the last song of the album! And here we picked up on the speed and power again! The way the organ is played during the verses makes it so... sinister. Again, this piece reminds me of Lupus Dei. The verses keep the sinister feeling while the chorus picks up more... drama? An epic melody mixed with epic words make my soul ascend to heaven.

This guitar solo is also the absolute good shit. It might be my favourite from all the songs of this album?! Additionally, the drums? I don't know why but they really stand out here. Love how fast paced they are.

Aaaaand that's it! If you've read all the way through holy shit, you are actually a badass. Thank you for staying with me, my werewolf friend. Maybe we'll meet where the wild wolves have gone. But always remember: Metal is religion.

#powerwolf #call of the wild #album review #well sort of #come talk to me about it i love the whole thing!!!!

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