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goodluckclove · 1 day

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What keeps me from writing: my own insecurity I guess. I can write random scenes that never go anywhere but I struggle writing complete stories because that's when my stupid goblin brain will hit the breaks and be like: hold on a second, this is nothing like what the writing books say. For some reason I get stupidly hung up on doing things the "right" way (aka what some professional writing person has said). I have to actively, mentally go against it and tell myself to write things the way I feel are right for me. And on the bad days I can't tell anymore if what I just wrote is good or bad because all I can hear in my head is: this not how you're supposed to do it. I like to think I'm getting better at it.

Hi, Lych. I'm so happy to see you. Will you maybe sit down with me for a second? I was trying to get some work done today but I can't stop thinking about this question so I figure something is telling me that it's important.

Let me see your writing books. Give me those blog posts and videos too. Wow, there's a lot here, isn't there? A lot of people seem to consider themselves authorities on writing. Some people who you know are very successful, and others who you've never seen or heard of before. And they all seem to be saying something different, don't they? Or maybe they'll reference each other like they're all strands in some grand dreamcatcher of professional acceptability.

Okay, we've looked at it for long enough. What I have right here is a large bottle of kerosene - you might want to stand back, actually. I'm going to go ahead and start spraying down all these rules and standards until they're nice and rankly damp. It might take a second.

They're wrong, you know. Anyone who gives you a step-by-step guide on any form of art and tells you it's the only way to do it is wrong. Structure isn't bad, per say. If you're a visual artist, it could help to learn traditional anatomy. If you're a filmmaker, you should...I mean, it would help to know how to use a camera. You should know how to use the tools you want to use to some extent, and YouTube tutorials could be pretty useful for that -

You know what? I think the fumes are getting to me. Would you mind helping me out? Here, I have another bottle. Catch.

For some reason there's a very terrible trend of new, unpublished, non-working writers feeling like they need to give advice in absolutes instead of sharing what works for them. There's a strange height of unsubstantiated confidence in people like this that always leaves me kind of befuddled - my example is always a woman I saw online who explained that every story needs a second act twist. That still bothers me.

But it's not really any better with famous and massively successful writers who release books on how to write. Not only does it create the dangerous unspoken narrative that if someone buys the book and follows every step they'll have a carbon-copy career, but I've found that once you write for long enough you forget a lot of the struggles that beginning writers have. I've been writing for fifteen years, and I no longer really remember what it feels like to struggle in a lot of profound ways that many do. I have doubts still. I'll commonly ask myself if what I write is actually any good at all. But it comes up way less often than it used to.

You're doing a really good job. I think that's probably enough fuel.

I think this is more of an issue with those who already have a predisposition for creativity, and by what you've posted on your blog I can see that you're a very skilled and impressive artist already. Your bronze Icarus was especially touching to me, both emotionally and in the sense that I just kind of wish that I could touch it. You express movement in a lot of subtle ways. It's really cool!

Maybe switching to writing feels like starting over. Like you have to get someone's permission before you can just start. Damn, my match broke.

Where was I? Oh, right.

You know how to read, don't you? You've read stories, or had stories read to you? If so, then that's your permission right there. If you make an effort to absorb a variety of stories from different perspectives, as well as engage in the world and people around you, as well as take time for introspection towards your own inner world...well, that's everything you need. From that point on you can go to workshops and get feedback or whatever, but that's not something you really have to worry about yet.

Now that I think about it, you might be better with a matchbook than I am. A sculptor much have steadier hands than someone like me. Ah, there! Fantastic.

You know where to go from here, my friend.

#writeblr #writing community #writers on tumblr #on writing #authors of tumblr #writing resources #writing inspiration #writers supporting writers

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orchidyoonkook · 10 months

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“Leave with me. Let’s get the fuck outta here, and never look back, the both of us. Together.”

Uhhhhhh

It destroyed my soul in the best way, the communication and vulnerability and the beautiful writing, the hurt and the comfort, I just finished it after sending you the ask (yes I sent in the previous one before I even finished reading 😭)

I agree 10000% with what was said, I would also happily pay you for a little physical copy of this fic, or overall for you stories, food costs money 💖 (for the soul too dhdhdhdh)

PLEASE I LOVE YOU 😭😭😭 BUT STOP making this about me or my writing, I'mma withdraw all my kisses 😤💀 LET ME LOVE YOU WOMAN AND ACCEPT ALL MY FACTS COMPLIMENTS

ARIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII <<<<<<<<<<<33333333333333

You read her!! you really did???? ohmyGOSH thank you!!! ♥️♥️♥️

more under the cut! (also ilysm)

“Leave with me. Let’s get the fuck outta here, and never look back, the both of us. Together.” Uhhhhhh

It destroyed my soul in the best way, the communication and vulnerability and the beautiful writing, the hurt and the comfort,

*sobbing hystarically under a desk*

the fact that you?? YOU??? with your amazing talents are over here being so nice to me???😭😭

I'm so so so happy you liked it!! I'm finding I'm a hurt/comfort/angsty bitch when it comes to writing which is hilarious because I'm nothing like that irl.

I love their communication so much. That was one of the things I knew from the get go. They were the only people they could be honest with in the whole town. No lying, no hiding, no need too. They just got one another, why bother lying when they'll know you are anyway?

The vulnerability gets me every. damn. time. It's so beautiful to find a safe space in a person, and the fact that they are each others???? I'm gone.

..thank you for saying my writing is beautiful <3 that literally means the world to me 🥰🥰🥰

I just finished it after sending you the ask (yes I sent in the previous one before I even finished reading 😭)

HAHA NO WAY. I thought you'd already read it when you sent that in ngl. This just makes my day, week, everything even better!!

I agree 10000% with what was said, I would also happily pay you for a little physical copy of this fic, or overall for you stories, food costs money 💖 (for the soul too dhdhdhdh)

NUH UHHH. NUH UHH SAY YOUR LYING *sobs uncontrollably* I'm actually attempting to see if it's possible right now for Violet, I'm thinking I'll print them out and hand bind them with soft covers. A nice little project that isn't nearly as difficult as it sounds. You just have to know they right stitching and formats/ materials!! (which I do!! artist perks!)

PLEASE I LOVE YOU 😭😭😭 BUT STOP making this about me or my writing, I'mma withdraw all my kisses 😤💀 LET ME LOVE YOU WOMAN AND ACCEPT ALL MY FACTS COMPLIMENTS

DON'T YOU DARE TAKE THEM BACK. THEY'RE MINE!!😤😤😤 I just like making sure you know you're equally loved and appreciated!!!! (and I will compliment and praise your writing all I want cuz you deserve it!! Suffer my love!)

Ari I adore you so much. I can't even begin to express my thanks for all of your wonderful words. But I'll start with the basics: Thank You ♥️

I'm so glad you liked their story. Thank you for being so kind to me.

#I'm sending all the kisses your way too!!#my darling ari what did i ever do to deserve you.#literally the kindest soul #UTWT book #asks #UTWT #UTWT reviews #aris-ink #ms.mailbox📬

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dangan-happy · 3 years

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(Makoto, stop eating all of the four-leaf clovers)

Whoa, it's Zine Anon, back at it again with another long ask. Yay. /s /neg

Anyone can answer this ask; I don't mind.

So I'm just gonna go ahead and say the good news/update first, because there isn't much to it. I technically finished my piece for the Usami ask, and while I would still need to revise and proofread it myself, I still wanna add a little bit more. Thankfully, one of the mods is willing to negotiate the maximum word count, which will go from 2000 to 3000. So that's nice. /gen

And now, onto the negative shit. I'm afraid that yet another zine I'm a part of will go to shit due to the immense lack of communication with the mods. Plus, in terms of said zine, we've so far lost 1-2 writers (myself not included... for now), 1 page artist, and 1 mod. Yes, we lost a fucking mod, and if I'm correct, it was the finance/shipping one [for the merch part of the zine]. So we only have two mods left now, with both being MIA. This will be the third zine that I've been a part of where mod/communication problems rose, but if shit doesn't get resolved, then this will be the first zine I'm a part of that'll potentially get canceled altogether. I haven't started my piece yet, sure, but still.

I'm willing to do whatever I personally can, as I've been a writing beta and have betaed some pieces in a previous zine. Hell, I've even picked up the work of a writer who dropped out of a zine [that I was a part of], and thus, did two pieces instead of the initial one (which I didn't mind; I volunteered and everything). It's not much compared to, let's say, being a head mod or something, but something's better than nothing, right?

One a slightly less negative note, a zine I had applied for that was getting close to sending result emails got postponed (or I guess, as I would put it, 'soft-canceled') due to, surprise surprise, lack of communication between the mods. Kind of sucks, but I have a feeling I wasn't gonna get accepted. Regardless, I can only move on from here.

And now, something that just... gets on my damn nerves the most, more than what I've said already. So recently, a zine I'm a part of just opened for pre-orders. I felt really confident i my role/pieces for said zine, so I figured, "I'm gonna share the big news!" So I decided to link the post about pre-orders opening up in a active server I'm active in, as well as separately share my pieces (as the digital zine costs mine, and I acknowledge, understand, and respect those who can't/don't want to buy the zine and/or digital merch. All I could really ask is for those to boost the zine by reblogging said post), aaannnddd... nothing. But not just no replies, right? It got fucking ignored, and I don't mean, like, a week or more passed with coincidentally no activity in the channel or server before someone said something. Within just a few hours, it was so gracefully ignored, as though it never even fucking existed. Like, call it selfish and petty, but the least you can fucking do is acknowledge it. And hell, if you don't care, then I rather you tell me that then to just say nothing and act like it doesn't fucking exist [the link/what I posted in said server].

Only one person said something about the zine, and it was something about going on to read my pieces (which I had linked via Google Docs in another text channel). But I doubt they'll actually read them. This is why I hate massive attention (or attention in general, to be honest) as a whole. I'm too shy to share something huge, like a finished project (i.e. zine pieces[s]/zine as a whole that I'm a part of) because I feel like I'm being too selfish and petty. But then, when I do have the courage and confidence to share it, it doesn't even get insults or backlash; it gets straight up ignored or the minimum bare is barely met (i.e. one person will be like, "Good job!" and that's it).

I just... honestly needed to get that all out. So to anyone who took the time to read this: Thank you. At this point, all I want is a hug, but any reassurance will do, I guess...

~ Zine Anon 💻🖊️

HAHAHAHAHA.

You know what’s funny Zine, this despair that you’re radiating in your ask really brings out my inner chaos. I love it!

But it also makes me really sad because I don’t want any of you to be sad. I know that’s so hard to believe coming from someone that wants to paint this world in nothing but despair but I promise that’s true. It’s really shitty of the mods to not properly talk or reach out to you guys, like I understand it’s a lot of work but even if you’re overwhelmed, perhaps contacting those would…you know, help immensely.

Now, if I’m reading this correctly, you’re losing a lot of people that you need to help on the zine. That is true, something is better than nothing, but at the cost of being overwhelmed can always come back to haunt you.

You know, sometimes we all need an outlet, and ranting about the little things that piss you off is perfectly okay! It helps me when Mukuro is being a total pain in the ass. But it’s not something I should be doing but man, if she weren’t so….Mukuro, maybe I wouldn’t need to complain so much. Don’t apologise for venting out anger you’ve been bottling up. I’d be happy to give you a biiiiig hug. You really need it.

#danganronpa #danganronpa roleplay blog #ask #junko enoshima #mod karma

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drarrygirl27 · 4 years

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Thanks for the tag, @unsealingkale !

I nominate @darling-lo

1. what does your name mean / mean to you?

Oh wow! I learned something new about my name. It is a Hindi boy name meaning, Center. I'm used to reading it meaning things like knowledge, wise, understanding, and water baby. This is very interesting!

I used to hate my first name years ago, but honestly I really used to hate myself for many reasons for many years. I now love my first name as much as I love my middle name. My last name is pretty cool. I used to want to change it to my biological last name, but now it ties me to both my grandma (She got remarried when my dad and his brother were in their teen years. The man she remarried, she had 3 of my uncles with, 2 are still alive.) and my dad so I'm going to keep it for a little while longer. My dad has another brother who I keep in contact with with my biological last name. They found each other through Facebook years and years ago.

2. breakfast, lunch or dinner?

Breakfast because breakfast is the bomb! That is my favorite kind of food, day or night. I do eat lunch and dinner too, but breakfast food will always have my heart.

3. what are you proud of?

I am proud of how far I actually have come in my life. There were times where I literally wanted to just let things be even when it was bad for me to do so, but I still eventually found the courage to leave when I knew that in my heart of hearts that I needed to for the good of my overall well being. I have had to do that a good bit of times in my life and despite how some of it hurt me really bad to do so emotionally and sometimes mentally even, I knew that I just had to do it because if I would have stayed in some if not most of those situations, I wouldn't be where I am now.

I don't have the best job in the world right now and things have been really hard especially with this crazy ass situation going on, but I am so much happier in so many ways than I was 3 years ago and years before that even. I have grown a lot in many ways. I have the Army to thank for that at least partly. That place pushed me to my limits in so many ways that I had no choice, but to see that I really, really needed to change in some ways if I was ever going to get anywhere in life in the Civilian world. It was what I like to call a necessary hell.

4. your go to song on a bad day?

Not sure if this counts, but when I get scared or anxious about something, I listen to "Lullaby" by Shawn Mullins. It feels like he is singing it to me in a way. It sounds crazy I know, but I have loved this song for many years and overtime it just became a really good comforting song for me.

5. have / want tattoos

I don't have tattoos and I don't think I will ever get a tattoo. I don't like needles. I'm not as bad as my mom with them, but I still don't like the way they feel and I wouldn't know what to get anyway.

6. what are you looking forward to post ‘rona?

To go to places without having to wear a mask like the movies and the mall for instance. They drive me nuts! I wear them for work and when I go into stores. At home, I stay mask free because no one has the 'rona in the house because we all wear masks when we go out some where like work places and the like.

7. fave place you’ve travelled to / where you would like to travel to?

Lost Maples Natural State Area in Texas, hands down! It is a gorgeous place with mountains with hiking trails and beautiful unbelievably crystal clear water.

North Carolina. I need to pay respects to my grandma and if it is allowed I am thinking about spreading my dad's ashes on her grave as well. I was in the Army when she died. I was offered to go back home because of it, but I knew my grandma would have wanted me to keep going and so I did.

8. name a personal object in your room that you love

My grandma's and Daddi-o's memorial service discs even though the Bitch Cunt of the Century a.k.a. Former stepmom was in charge of the pictures on my Daddii-o's discs. You can tell because she is in most of the pics. *Sighs* Lord, I wish I would have had enough balls to tell that 'thing' to fuck all the way off! *Sighs* Hindsight is 2020 and unfortunately, all that shit went down in 2017.

9. what’s your niche interest?

Hmm... I have a good bit of them to be honest. I will just name my main fandoms at the moment. Rhink, Supernatural, and Harry Potter especially when it comes to shipping. LOL!

10. ideal date with yourself?

Hmm... An ideal date with myself, eh? This is going to sound so weird or maybe not, but either a trip to a bookstore or a thrift and or antique store. I love to check out those kinds of places.

11. share a pic from your camera roll that brings you joy

12. is there anything you would say to your younger self?

It may not seem like it now, but eventually things are going to get better for you and you are going to accept and love yourself for everything that you are. You're not going to hate yourself forever and there are going to be people who like and or love you as a person. Your family has always loved and respected you even if it didn't seem like it sometimes. One day, you are going to be able to look into the mirror and through very, very deep self reflection come to understand why your friends and family and the like have always loved, respected, admired, and believed in you. I love you and one day, you are going to love you too.

13. do you bop to music on (I corrected this. It originally said in.) your own? do you sing?

Yep especially while driving in my car to and from work and at work too.

Oh Hell Yeah! I sing way more than I used to especially not just by myself behind closed doors. I don't sing out loud at work though because people could be sleeping and also I'm still a wee bit hesitant to sing in front of people like face to face depending upon where I am at, who I am with, and such. I'm working on it, but I do show my talent to people a lot more than what I used to.

14. is there a type of animal you associate with home? does your house get animal visitors?

Hmm... I was around cats a lot more than dogs throughout most of my lifetime especially my childhood and teenage years.

If we're being sappy though I'd say cats and dogs now. My boyfriend's brother and sister-in-law have a cat that I love a lot. He is what I like to call a sweet asshole. LOL! He can be nice and or loving, but not towards most people. He is kind of like my boyfriend in that way. They're both assholes to people who actually deserve it, but if you're a good and respectable person they'll show you the same kind of decency.

My mom has two German Shepherds that are my fuzz sisters. I love them way more than I thought I would ever love dogs. I was just a cat person for a really, really long time, but now I actually like or love dogs depending upon my relationship with them.

15. is there an artist of any kind who speaks to your soul?

Oh goodness! So many of them do. A lot of musical artists, writers, and the like. To name them all would have me write out a novel or two even. LOL!

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quokkalatte · 5 years

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Mixtape pt.5 [M.YG]

Part 5

Category: One-shot series

Pairing: Min Yoongi x Female! Reader

Summary: Living as an aspiring rap artist in Seoul, all you want to do is work on your music and try to get your name out there. Of course when you have someone as annoying and spiteful as Min Yoongi makes that extremely difficult. Until he decides to help you out.

Warnings: smut, language, some Namjoon action (which ofc is a warning cause oof), angry Yoongi, alcohol consumption, perhaps some angst but not really

Warnings for this chapter: alcohol consumption, language, Tae being a bit of a horndog in the beginning

Author's Note: ofc this is late again but I hope you enjoy this chapter! It's also short, contrary to what I promised last time I apologize. I promise it'll get more interesting in the future ;)

Tags; @notsolovelykarsyn @psychoticshawtyy

Could not be tagged: @deesixx2801

[Message me to be added to the Tag list so you can be tagged for future updates]

× × × × × × × × × × × × × × × × × × × × × × × × × ×

I hurried down the street, pulling my jacket close to my body, trying be to hold any remains of warmth I'd had since leaving my apartment. Seoul was covered in a thick layer of snow, the roads icy and slick and bundles of oil-based slush was built on either side of the road. People still continued on without a care in the world. It made me regret not getting a taxi or asking Jungkook to pick me up.

I shivered, turning the corner quickly and let out a sigh of relief when I saw the record store. It wasn't far from my apartment, but the cold made it a bitch to get too. I quickly pushed the door open, hearing the bell signal my arrival. I let out a loud groan when I felt the heat rush upon me, swathing me in warmth.

"Damn I haven't even touched you yet and you're already sounding like that" my eyes dart towards a figure leaning against the counter, shuffling through a magazine. His hair was tousled and messy and his cheeks flushed from the cold outside. Taehyung grinned when I rolled my eyes

"You wish" I walk past him and Taehyung chuckles

"I do. Isn't your little study group today?"

"Yes that's where I'm going" I say and Taehyung perks up immensely

"Hey you should ask if they'll let me help with the next Cypher. I've been asking but they never let me"

"And what makes you think they'll change their mind this time?" I raise my eyebrows just as Jimin came in from the back. His face split into a smile upon seeing me and he ruffled Taehyung's hair as he passed. Taehyung swatted at his hand.

"Wishful thinking?"

"Keep wishing then Tae. Maybe someday" I pat his cheek and he sticks his upper lip out and I laugh. I hop over the counter, much to Jimin's chargin, and quickly hurry up the steps. I heard the chatter of voices, and the room came into view. It was like Deja Vu all over again when the boys saw me. They immediately started their jeering.

"Well well well. I'd like to say I'm surprised, but I'm not" Jungkook teased. I rolled my eyes, throwing my bag at him it landed on his lap and he let out a grunt at the impact.

"May I ask why you're late?" Namjoon asks.

"Ice is slick Joon, and I didn't want to fall over. Excuse me for taking percaution" I roll my eyes, plopping next to Hoseok, who immediately threw his arm around me.

"Were glad you made it sunshine" Hoseok grins and I laugh. The only one who hadn't said anything was Yoongi, which was typical. Ever since he left abruptly nearly a month ago, we barely spoke. I'd asked him if Jin was okay, and he only replied with a 'Yes' and that was it. He never made more plans, never answered texts, and the past two meet ups he rarely spoke to me and it annoyed me to no end. I wanted to talk to him, ask him what the hell happened in my kitchen. It was like he was about to kiss me, and then he didn't. And now he was pretending like I didn't exist. It kind of hurt to be honest.

"Show us what you got. You said you finally added music to it" Hoseok says, bringing me out of my daze. I blink, and nod

"Yeah, yeah I did."I say, digging out my laptop, nervously setting it on the coffee table. The song was finally nearly developed. The rap was swift and sorrowful, the music paced to fit it exactly. I was just nervous how the boys would take it. They'd only read the lyrics, now it was fully recorded and ready for listening. I brought up the demo, pressing play and sitting back, nervously figetting the entire time. All three were silent as the rap filled the air, the music complimenting it nicely. It sounded upbeat to a nom-korean speaker, but the lyrics were of unrequited love, developed into harsh bitterness and deciding that it wasn't worth the pain, to get over it and move on. The last part wasn't fully true, I added it for some closure to the song but in reality I was nowhere near over Yoongi, even though he seemed he wanted nothing to do with me. The song ended, and Namjoon nodded, rubbing his hands together.

"It's amazing Y/n" he grins, and I sighed in relief. Hoseok and Jungkook eagerly agree.

"Of course you found a way to make the music compliment the lyrics. You're a genius" Hoseok says and I blush at the compliment "It's really sad Noona, but relatable" Jungkook comments. I thank all three of them, and subconsciously glance at Yoongi's silent form. Namjoon was the one who acted out.

"Yoongi?" He prompts the blonde. Yoongi glanced from the screen to me, and my heart clenched as I waited for his harsh critique. He always did that with our songs, pointing out the flaws while the rest gave good comments. He was the Simon Cowell of our group. But he didn't, he merely nodded his head

"It's good" Yoongi says, and that was it. The three of us were speechless, Jungkook's jaw was dropped and he looked at me with awe.

"You got hyung to compliment you Noona. You must be a goddess" he says, and I blush, shaking my head.

"Stop Kook while you're behind" I warn and he sticks out his tongue. I quickly shut my laptop and shoved into my bag. It was quiet for a couple of seconds, and then Namjoon cleared his throat.

"Okay, I guess now's a good time as any to announce this" he says, his tone nervous. "But last week I went over to another producing company and submitted my tape....and it got accepted" I gasped and the other three boys shouted and whooped. Jungkook threw his arm around Namjoon's shoulders and hugged him tightly. Namjoon grinned bashfully as we all hugged and congratulated him. His dimples were prominent and his cheeks flushed.

"That's great Joon I'm so proud" I say and he laughs, running a hand through his hair.

"Thanks guys" he mumbles.

"We should go out and celebrate that's great!" Jungkook says, and we all nod.

"Well, Jin wanted to throw a party this Saturday...." Namjoon trailed off. "So of course to guys are invited"

"We should get drinks though" Jungkook says "I'll drive"

"Not happening" Yoongi wrinkled his nose "the last time you drove is anywhere we ended up in a ditch"

"I didn't see the squirrel!" Jungkook wailed "And I've gotten better hyung you shouldn't lord that over me you're no better at driving" Jungkook pouts.

"I'll drive" Jimin leans in the doorway, keys dangling from his finger.

Half an hour later we all were sitting around a table, celebrating Namjoon's sucess. He was flushed and blushing, and kept saying how lucky he felt. Taehyung had accompanied us, always eager for free alcohol and food.

Everyone was laughing and enjoying themselves. Hoseok continues to congratulate Namjoon, who's face was flushed and became redder the more he drank. Jimin and Jungkook disappeared hours ago, and Yoongi seemed to be missing as well. After the 6th shot I was fuzzy and lightheaded, and wandered outside to breathe. The cool air immediately hit my skin and my eyes closed and I let out a sigh of relief. The music from the bar was faint outside, absorbed by the air and contained by the building.

"You really can't handle liquor can't you?" A voice said, and I turned to see Yoongi leaning against the side of the bar. His dark eyes were a light with amusement and I roll my eyes.

"I can handle it just fine"

"Please, three shots and your rolling on the floor" he snorts.

"Fuck off Yoongi I was actually in a good mood" I grumble, rubbing my forehead. Yoongi snickered,

"Sorry. Didn't mean to ruin your fun' he says. I glare at him. "What?"

"You're infuriating" you growl at him. He frowns, blinking in confusion.

"What're you talking about?" I stalk towards him, and take a step back, eyeing me warily.

"You. Are. Infuriating. Min Yoongi" each word was expressed with a poke to his sternum, and he watched with a dumb expression on his face, which expressed he had obviously had a few to drink.

"I was just teasing Y/n calm down" he rubs his chest sorely.

"Not about that!" I hiss.

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"Hoe about you ignoring me for the past month? How about you leaving me alone in my apartment to rescue Jin? Or how about the fact you were about to kiss me?" The questions fell from my mouth before I could stop them. The shots betraying me to Yoongi, who's eyes comically widened with each one. I was shaking, glaring at him to answer my questions. He went silent, reserving himself.

"That was a mistake" he mumbles

"What was?" I instigate further. He ran a hand through his hair, tugging at the ends and he wouldn't meet my eyes.

"Trying to kiss you. I shouldn't have tried that." Hurt shot through my chest at his confession, even if I asked him for the truth. It stung. He could tell, It's must have displayed on my features. He took a step towards me, guilt covering his face but I glared and took a step back.

"Well I'm sorry I'm such a mistake then" I hiss, turning to walk back into the bar. A hand wrapped around my wrist tightly and I was stopped in my place.

"Y/n wait- it's not like that. Please listen" Yoongi said, and it shocked me because it was almost like he was begging me. I turned to glower at him, tugging my hand from his grip, but I didn't move. Yoongi sighed, his head bent towards the ground and refusing to meet my eyes. "I don't think you're a mistake. You twisted my words, as you always do-"

"Watch it" I growl warningly

"-but I didn't kiss you because I didn't think you wanted me to" He finished without pause. I gave him a dumbfounded look.

"Wait, what?" Yoongi groaned, tugging at the ends of his hair and scowled at me like it was my fault he was so cryptic.

"I didn't think you wanted me to kiss you. I thought you didn't like me, and I figured there was someone else."

"What makes you think there was someone else?" I questioned angrily, folding my arms

"Your song" Yoongi says. This made me laugh. The alcohol in my system had me buzzing and I could feel it. It was Yoongi's turn to be angry at me. "Why are you laughing?" He demanded.

"What does my song have to do with me being with someone else Yoongi? It's about being rejected from someone and unreciprocated love."

"The ending is about getting over them" he says and I shook my head

"I added that part. I never got over him" I say sadly, knowing I'd regret admitting that when I woke up the next morning.

"So there is someone. See? That's why I didn't kiss you. You're still hung up over some jerk who's too stupid to notice your interest in him" Yoongi says. I was quiet, my eyes on the ground. Then I spoke softly

"It's you"

"What?" Yoongi frowned, not catching my words

"You. The song's about you" I mumble. He stared at me, his eyes beginning to widen. I could see his thoughts multiplying, forming the words of my song to fit with how he'd treated me so coldly when I just wanted his affection.Yoongi's heart thudded in his chest, all color drained from his body. He shook his head, and backed away

"No. Not possible" he mumbled

"Why not?" I demanded, but he shook his head again. Yoongi backed farther away when I approached him.

"No" He hisses, his voice suddenly full of venom and spite. I stepped back, shocked. Yoongi turned away, walking quickly down the street until he was out of sight. I watched the spot where he dissappeared. Rejection and hurt being my only voiced emotions. That's where Namjoon and the others found me, outside and crying. Their happy uplifted moods suddenly dropped upon seeing my tear streaked face. They tried prying my reason for crying out of me, but I refused to speak.

"Just please take me home" I mumble. Namjoon called Seokjin, who was in the midst of sleeping and scolded Namjoon for being out late, but agreed to come pick us up. 10 minutes later we were piled into his car and being driven home. He frowned when he noticed we were one short.

"Where's Yoongi?" He asks. All eyes turned on me, I was the only one who last saw him. I stared out the window solemnly, resentment boiling my veins.

"He can be in hell for all I care" I grunt out, and the car fell into since once more.

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