#idk if that would technically be like a date
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Omg is that a dup sona??? It isss @gladii0lus i caved in to the self insert oc in cool uniform
He is like some sort of slime moss based conduit? Idk if organic conduits are even a thing (but regardless his powers visuals are heavily inspired by those videos where slime moss solves mazes for pieces of oats) (which is also basically his whole motivation as a dup agent. He is here for the reward and thats it)
Morast probably recharges his powers from like damp nasty mossy walls that kinda dry out after his recharge (or dumpsters, we all know where the good mold is, but dup forbid him from using dumpsters bc it ruins their reputation)
he thought that conduit prison would be chill, since conduits arent really placed there for crimes and are basically just random people with powers. So like a really strict but free camp?? And no need to work for the rest of his life?? Paradise??
But then it turned out that curdan cay has almost no entertainment except trainings and forbids contact between prisoners. And he got deathly bored. So he had to start working for the dup in order to get his freedom back (and yk an actual working phone with wifi and games and the ability to get takeouts and hang out and go clubbing and date and well all that) (we are not going to mention that most of those things are technically still forbidden, bc now he can access them at least. Just dont snitch to the higher ups)
He is fairly efficient when he is actually working, but that only happens almost never
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Girlie (gn) you hate Maeve? You have good taste I see, I fucking hated her (well strongly disliked but still) mary sue is such a perfect term, she was just boring and I feel Spencer felt so wet and weepy with her
i don't hate maeve so much as i hate the maeve plotline! i think strongly dislike is a really good phrase to use when talking about my feelings towards maeve's character.
as a character, she's super flat and one dimensional. i think she and spencer were "together" for eight months(?) and the episode where you learn the most about her is the one where she fucking dies. i've spent all day thinking about this and im beginning to think that part of the reason why she is a mary sue is that spencer tends to put people he cares about on pedestals and ignores their flaws.
and youre like "what flaws does she have if you barely know anything about her" and okay i'll tell you:
b-12 and magnesium as a treatment for migraines is fucking insane. i'm not saying it couldn't work, but all through season 6 (re: 6x12 "corazon") spencer is seeing doctors and anyone who has ever dealt with a fuckass chronic disease/illness will tell you that a blood panel like that would be one of the first steps in reaching a diagnosis!!!
why on god's green earth would you have a stalker, be dating an fbi agent, and not let your fbi agent boyfriend help you? i have been stalked before!!!! it's not fun!!!!! i'd take all the help i could've gotten at the time. this has always rubbed me the wrong way because oh my god the solution was right there the whole time. he could have protected you! he would have protected you!
i know they weren't technically doctor/patient but there is still some weird power dynamic in their relationship that gives me the ick. other than they're smart and they read, they really dont have much in common.
their relationship to me is equivalent to the girl i dated online after we met through percy jackson fan accounts. i.e. not really a relationship. most of their interaction was off screen and i think that did a huge detriment to the plot.
in the end, i think the maeve storyline and 8x12 "zugzwang" is a hard watch. i can't take it seriously. i'd skip it, but then i'd miss so much blake content (and hotch looks so good in that episode sorry spencer) (not into the fuckass bob in season 8). at the same time, i know it was like... mgg's idea and i'm pretty sure he's friends with beth riesgraf. (he loves to traumatize himself idk). but the whole thing gets messier when you think about the implications left by 14x15 "truth or dare" and the abhorrent jeid plot in season 15 where it's insinuated that spencer has been in love with jj for fifteen years (zoinks) and it's like what about maeve??? i don't know man (gn) i could go on for hours about this
that being said, i see a lot of people not liking the actress who plays maeve. i am telling you that it had to have been the writing or the directing in the episodes because beth riesgraf is incredible. she played a character named parker in the tv show leverage (one of my favorite tv shows of all time) and let me tell you That Is Her Role.
jesus this was long i had more to say than i thought sorry thank you anon
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Should I ask the pretty girl I met at my friend's birthday party if she wants to go see the Mean Girls musical movie with me?
#i legit don't know who to watch it with#and i'd like to maybe watch it with another sapphic person#because i want to be gay about reneé rapp with somebody who understands#and also i'd just really like to meet that girl again cause she was really cute#sooo#yea#idk if that would technically be like a date#cause i've never been on a date#idk how that stuff works#but i would not be opposed...#lea's random thoughts#sapphic#lesbian
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kaido thinks hes kubosais designated third wheel, when actually theyve been trying to worm him into the polycule for months
#meow posting one of their fav ships no one else likes again#someone tell me to shut the fuck up#tbh i think this situation technically would work better with established kubokai instead but-#um saiki is a telepath. LOL idk how he wouldnt know#conveniently is wearing his germanium ring at all times ?? erm dumb#canon divergence where hes powerless for a little longer and that happens to be when kubokai starts dating and this happens? mmm yea maybe#i have a fake dating kubosai wip where saikis 'powerless' for longer and he thinks kubokai r crushing on each other#it's complicated and also was never written beyond one chapter (which happens to be a big argument) but its similar to this kind of ? idk#no straight up powerless au though i honestly dislike those erm sorry#saiki k#tdlosk#the disastrous life of saiki k.#saiki kusuo#kuboyasu aren#kaido shun#kubosai#saikai#kubokai#kubosaikai#meows post
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if escape rooms as team building exercises became popular im not sure if id be more excited or terrified
#if it isnt already anyway.. i can see it happening as a school frosh thing. idk if it would catch on as a workplace thing#i kind of find the concept of being locked in with strangers and working to find a way out weirdly exhilarating though#at least compared to icebreakers cause i dont have to spend 10 minutes racking my brain for something to blurt out abt myself#as a bonus u could like. put people into groups and give prizes to whoever escapes first second third etc. apparently they also do themed#escape rooms.. maybe let people pick a theme? or voluntary sign up? actually this would be really fun for smth like a blind friend date#although if i found out i was locked in a room with an online friend id be too excited to actually escape LOL#ive never done an escape room before so sadly i cant speak from experience. its like up there on things i want to try next to rug tufting#workshop and visiting new art exhibits or conventions. i seriously need to get out more if it wasnt for the horrors <- school and anxiety#i was planning to invite cass to a drop-in art workshop in town but neither of us could go bc typography is making us go thru hell and back#AND THEY HAD A BUTTON MACHINE TOO#im nostalgic bc i miss working in groups and not being awkward abt it or worrying abt schedule conflicts#i realized that i learn best in groups and its a little corny but i like sharing ideas and talking through a problem#in elementary i could just sit down with friends for review and come out of it energized *and* more familiar with the material#and i could technically still do it now. but as adults we're more picky abt who we work with on top of being way more busy outside school#maybe im lonely. im shy and grew up not talking to ppl unless i absolutely have to so its hard to make friends on my own i guess#only thing getting me thru it is telling myself that humans like helping and that my cringe is overblown in my head. but its hard#hence the escape rooms. i have been able to talk to 2(!!) people though!! mostly abt school stuff but im glad to be on friendly terms#i dont really know how to be happy these days cause im constantly scaring myself abt my portfolio and finding places to work#not being ambitious is part of not wanting to put energy into something that wont work out while also not having the passion to do literall#anything else.. i should probably talk to my counsellor ugh#yapping
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Watching episode 7 of Apothecary Diaries and I fucking love Gao as an extremely practical man. Like he seems somewhat unaware of Lady Politics, because he needs Maomao to explain why like. Servants and ladies in waiting would bully a concubine they’re supposed to be serving, but at the same time as Maomao is explaining it he isn’t doubting it, he just didn’t previously know that information and now that he does he’s like “okay now that I have this information what should I do with it.”
Also Maomao says like “he was seated with people of higher rank” despite him being in the rear palace we can conclude he’s likely a eunuch (unless there’s some plot twist later like I suspect there will be with Jinshi who I don’t think is who he appears to be) he’s earlier in the episode likewise depicted as being restless and unable to stand by and be at ease without a task. Literally taking the job of weeding just to be useful, so despite his rank he will crawl in the dirt to serve a purpose.
A man willing to get dirty and do labour despite what rank he holds and admit his ignorance to a woman in this genre and era is extremely charming.
Even if he is a eunuch I’m marrying Gao. I don’t need that for a husband. It’s irrelevant. Ive dated people with less. At least he’s a good man. I’d rather a good man who’s a eunuch than a weasel with full equipment.
#the apothecary diaries#I mean technically I mostly dated women before so I don’t thing I would end up disappointed#I just gotta make sure he gets his needs met#he’s a fictional character so idk what those are#but like you know what I mean#I gotta up my game to be worthy
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i love all the spongebob movies but the first movie is soooo funny for a particular reason
imagine successfully executing a worldwide domination plan and it ends because an 18 year old after going a life changing road trip with his best friend to try and help save his boss’s life sang a rock song about how he’s gonna embrace his childlike wonder and it hits so hard he was able to destroy all mind control and turn into a wizard
#ok i know the movie was said to take place after the#series or something like that so#technically spongebob would be not 18 or whatever#and whatever else inconsistent spongebob lore#you like to take in but i just like to imagine#the first movie taking place around its release date#anyways yeah idk shhskdldjdhhsk#spongebob squarepants#spongebob#bluebell talks
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my friend's baby was due six days ago and still isn't here. if he can hold on another 21 hours he can have an april birthday instead of march
#lowkey worried abt it bc i heard that the baby being over the due date by more than a few days can increase risk to the baby#i know my friend's doctors really wanted to induce a few days ago but she wanted to wait until labor happens naturally#but she agreed if he wasnt here by next week they could induce#so i think that would be monday#even tho technically sunday is the first day of the week they probably meant after the weekend#but if they did sunday he would be born on easter which is cool#but im hoping for asap basically bc she's getting pretty overdue and ik she's impatient and worried abt it and im a bit worried too tbh#i think she's still well within the range of normal but idk her doctor seemed worried days ago so idk#praying for a safe healthy delivery as soon as possible basically#so im actually joking i dont really want him to wait until april bc that would put him more than a week overdue#i havent heard from my friend in a day or two tho so i'd like to think the baby already came or she's already in labor at least#but tbh she would have told me
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if my parents dont suspect im dating someone at this point then idk when they will
#technically not dating dating but we do go on dates?#idk the minutae of relationship definitions and expectations and stuff are mostly unknown to me#okay yeah my mum is literally rn asking hella questions about her#in a nice positive but also ulterior motivey type way#honestly would be less awkward if my parents just straight up (gay up?) ask me lol#anyway yeah im getting the train up to see her and normally im not about that because getting the train makes me anxious#but ill be fine. hopefully.#im terrified of missing my stop#wah so much anxiety but actually feel a bit better now ive told my mum#a significant part of me is still closeted and 17 even though i am 24 and also out#there was a comic or something i read the other week that talked about the 'trauma of coming out' and its like yes actually that makes a lo#of sense#but i am trying to be less repressed. i was even telling my friends at uni about the date we were on on saturday
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some of the posts about the duffers being bad writers are starting to sound like people just...not vibing with the plot and not about criticizing the writing😭 like just because something fucked up is happening doesn't mean it's fucked up that they wrote it
#i don't like it👎 ≠ it's bad❌#like obviously personal taste would inform what you think of as good writing but you can't say people are lying about this being good#writing because i think it's bad#the something fucked up is about el dating mike after 12 years of lab and 1 year of hopper like believe me i don't like that for her but...#and it's not even like it's portrayed as her fairytale ending either if they were to end up together then i'd be like wow fucked up that#they thought this was...a good thing to have happen to her#even though it's not like you have to think something's good to have it happen to a character (that's like essentially what horror is)#but i do think the ending isn't supposed to be like sad and fucked up in this particular show so#it's like when people say they're racist for having billy be racist i can totally understand that it'd be hard to watch and that some of#the scenes in the show can be triggering (the piggyback) but it's not portraying racism that makes the writing racist it's like. what they#do with it or what they DON'T do with it. bc they don't do anything with it#idk. maybe i'm being a hypocrite because i've probably said that sidelining will in s3 is a strange strange writing choice and that's#personal taste technically but.#i've actually said that i hate it but that you can probably find great meta reasons for it which will sound like me worshiping them to some#but like. you can. even though i don't love the end result#and as i was saying the other day:#and i'm not someone who isn't aware of how good and not good stranger things is at all#like i really know i promise#and like i say: brf slt
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#feeling really weird in my body tonight so im going back to bed#idk just.. have had gender and identity issues today. its just. a lot#like being ngc and not out of the closet cause i dont wanna talk about it is so exhausting and im just. yeah#not to mention the whole aroace thing#just been thinking a lot today. idk. i know im not faking any of it but bringing it out to ppl is just. so much sometimes#i have two irl friends who know. one thats thankfully very careful about it around other friends cause he knows im not out yet#but its still exhausting. especially when the conversation goes on those rails while undermining specifically my identities#without these ppl knowing about it. and i dont wanna talk about it cause technically its irrelevant but like..#idk. im just afraid of being left alone. being called awkward and weird and faking it and that its just a phase and... yeah idk#idk where this is going im just complaining now. i would just like to exist as myself without having to explain shit#cause these are terms and things i would have to explain. oh whats an agender? then why do you still look feminine and not enby(???)#how do you know youre ace if youve never dated? or aro?? as if these things dont work the other way around#im just already tired of it but i feel like eventually i should break it out. these ppl are my friends. we have a trans person in this grou#and ppl understand him and his perspective. i guess part of that is the thing im afraid about tbh. that they think im following a trend#or an example. that i havent been dealing with this for at least like five or six years before they came out as enby and later trans to us#but.. idk. its just hard. these identities are so hit and miss with ppl and them understanding and being hurtful later on#aaaand now im crying. this is so stupid im going to bed good night#night is an absolute mess on main#(tho be clear tho ive known im ace for over half of my lifetime now. the five to six years was about being agender/enby. fyi)
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#monster noises#getting emails telling me people have left a new intro for me on okc are so.. conflicting#and i should really stop checking them because i never know what to do with them#cause sometimes the person seems really cool and probably goodnto get to know and who knows maybe it would work out#but also the thinking about commiting to it makes my stomach start flip flopping for.... a few reasons#and then i feel bad for ghosting on someone#being that ass hole who doesn't reply#but also technically i'm not even On there right now anymore you just can't mute your account like you can on tinder n shit#so is it really ghosting???#idk...#but regardless I Then start to think about what the fuck Else i'm gunna do to help me meet people#if i'm not going to be able to do this#cause the answer is 'make more friends and eventually someone will also want to date you that you will also like'#but that wait time and uncertainty and my complete lack of both knowing and being able to access spaces where i could meet#and make more friends that are like.. within the range of being Gay Men and Gay Men-Adjacent Folks#starts to make the yawning lonely void of the future look... a little crushing#just a little#and then i have to back out Real fast or shit starts to break down real bad#ack.. ack ack ack#i could go on about more stuff but i'm gunna run outta space so#idk... i just.. i'm tired and I wanna find a Buddy. y'know? same note on a different octave and all that..#or a harmony. a harmony would be good also#i use to many metaphors...#anyway.. i gotta go#i start full time at work tomorrow so i gotta finish my tea and head to bed#i know it's past 9 so the thoughts don't count but they do still exsist
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i need it to be next semester so bad because every day i spend the next 3 hours after english class recovering from the psychological damage i experienced (being flirted with & flirting BACK). except the thing is i actually have a class with her next semester too and not only that but my other friend who i’m in love with is also in that class. explodes & dies i suppose
#it’s genuinely so bad. i think i might#nvm i’m not typing that out. *** *** ****** * *********** ** ** ****** ** ********* ** *** *** ****#anyway#the worst part is it started as a JOKE because of the goddamn MEMOIR except when you jokingly flirt with someone for 2 months straight at#some point it becomes not a joke. and i think she might actually genuinely be into me which is INSANE (and like. as someone with severe#issues & problems disorder i would not make that claim lightly trust me) and like. idk what to do with it#.txt#fake ex gf#crushposting#<- the way these tags are about two different people. insane life i’m living rn#see at first it was like oh she’d date me just for fun which is fine bc i’d ALSO do that maybe yknow. but she might actually like me. and i#might possibly like HER. BUT LIKE. i really am truly in love with my other friend. like if he asked me out (which would not happen) i’d say#yes immediately. but if dani (fake ex gf/girl from english class) asked me out. WELL THAT’S HAPPENED BEFORE TECHNICALLY. well i’d uhhh.#flirt back and then we’d make plans to skip class to go out somewhere together next week while her leg was purposefully pressed against mine#ah fuck#BUT there’d be no clarity on whether it was a date or not. she’d just ask me to go somewhere in a really homoerotic way and i’d be like in#what way do you mean that and she’d be like oh? what way do you want want me to mean it and i’d shrug and we’d go on back and forth like#that for a bit without coming to a conclusion. and then we’d just go on with our lives and such#but like the thing is. if it came down to my friend/crush vs her. i’d choose my friend#AND IT’S HAPPENED BEFORE#like not directly but once i essentially had the choice of leaving school 5 mins early and walking home w/ her#OR leaving school 5 mins late and walking home with him. and i chose to walk home with him like it wasn’t even a contest#gf
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i can't believe i have to work tomorrow lol
#also the system glitched with my bereavement days and i had to submit my request for days i'm technically working because#i just do#idk like i'm fine and i'm chill about it#but i cannot imagine what this is like for people who lose someone they're deeply attached to#or where it's a sudden and horrifying death and not the slow succumbing to cancer we've been watching over the course of three years#i don't know i can't stop thinking about these tings#like if he'd died very suddenly and my company had denied my three (3) bereavement days#on top of the church being open but the office refusing to give a funeral date until monday morning#and the hospice people harassing my mother to return everything but taking their sweet time about taking back the giant bed that he died in#and now sits in the living room to remind us all#i would be decidedly unchill and unfine#all this to say#i do not want to work tomorrow
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*taps mic and gets way too close to it* uhhh i was thinking abt pre-canon jr2 with Everyone But Them Knows trope. and so i jotted things down. and now i am sharing them.
ok so. Lisa. she def knows abt my crush bc she's my bestie obvi
but she's like soo annoying about it hsHND
g-d i can see her taking a picture of me unintentionally making heart eyes to jean and she tweets it with that homophobic 'i know what you are' dog meme HSHNWHLJ
ok wATI imagine their dad sees that on twitter and replies to it w like 'They seem like very good friends :)' LGNSLNDJHR he would .. (also thats not in a bad way per se like he supports the alphabet community.. he has the gay flag in his bio thinking it's for showing support. He's a lil confused but he has the spirit).
ok.. tommy t. i think tom knows a bit…
he's like 'yeah i'm really picking up some Vibes. really sensing some stuff' (and me being in denial like Wtf. there are no Vibes to be Had here. shut up?).
OK WAITT Quick switch up. If we're talking abt whether tom knows jean likes me .. ,':/ .. i don't think he tells him outwright. but tom figures it out ykno.
like maybe we're all hanging out somewhere and tom n jean are off somewhere talking or wtvrand tom asks if he;s interested in anyone. nd jean's like umm yeah i think so. tom's probably abt to ask who it is and then i show up to ask smth and tom just puts the pieces together.. u know the gif where he's just like :D yeah he does that wSHND. (tom: :D | me: why are you smiling.. weirdo)
tom Then becomes annoying abt it ahsjf
he and lisa quietly but obviously trying to nudge us together jdnfkng. worlds most annoying wingman and wingwoman <3
ok back tothe main point. Ben. .. doesn't know but if he did i bet he's like Yeah that makes sense wldnhjg
oh donna knows for sure. i didn't tell her she just immediately picked up on it WHSNHNS.
uhhh ann and leslie……. oh they don't know at all wSHNK
Listen it's enough that i'm friends with him i don't think they could handle me Liking him HTNKHS
esp leslie like she'd for sure be like ':/… Reallyyyy?….. you sure??' wkehsHNDK
#.txt#posting here is so awkward sowwy idk how to do this .#my instict is to be cringe on twitter (feel free to ask for it i'm way more active there) i need to get used to tumber#me???!? lore posting (sort of?)???!?1?? this is never happening again#i am not tagging this w everyone's names...#literally wrote this all out in a tweet but i don't feel like breaking it down in2 a thread so i am putting it here.#i have many thoughts on ann n leslies thoughts on me n jean. likeso many. But i will spare u all#also just realized i forgot chris ughhwgjslhn#uhh don't feel like Thinking Hard rn but umm i think he would also piece it together after a certain interaction w me. yeah lets go w that#and andy just assumes we're dating already#ok technically maybe this ksnt eveyone but them knows trope but who cares ok it counts.#everyone can at least Sense smth#btw queuing this so i dont have to deal w the embarrassment of posting. i can just queue this and run#wait wsit wait. remembered its a mockumentary and theres cameras .#two ppl talking in the foreground but the camera focusing me and jean talking in the background and i look nervous .#and then when we're done the cameraman trying toshoot a talking head and get me to tall abt him but im just like#'dont u have b roll to shoot Aaron. fuck off' MNDKVK#lore tag
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posts like that break my stupid fucking heart lol. i hate being in this situation and i hate that i hate it because im convinced im delusional about how bad it is right now and that it’s my fault for being a terrible selfish daughter and also it could be SO much worse. but no im not entirely terrible or selfish and yes this situation is bad even if it’s not the absolute worst it’s ever been or ever could be. i know we’re working on fixing some parts of it but that does not negate that i am living a suffocated life right now and never have fully known that freedom even when i haven’t lived in this house and still have so much work to do to finally get it and im so overwhelmed by this that i keep putting it off and running away
#purrs#also it’s like.. how does ANYONE live without the autonomy and shit you inevitably get as an adult. or the way people take you seriously#more and give you space and stuff. because i know i will miss some aspects of living like this but i think life after this will be so much b#better and freer. yeah it’s scary to make your own choices and move your own ways but also ummmm i am not living in a good situation and#there are so many fucked up things happening here. also i was gonna say something else ughhhh what was it. omg#OH yeah well idk if this was The thing but my parents don’t want me to ever have a place of my own bc they’re worried about my safety. i am#also worried about my safety but i think maybe i would like some independence. and i can’t work it out in my head lol#OHHHHH WAIT i remember. ok. so also. im 23 years old. my mom moved out of her parents home when she was 25 but she was already like dating a#and stuff and i.. well you know. but it’s like im 23 but i don’t think im even going to be able to afford a place of my own that is also#nice to live in. so i am going to have to find a roommate which is fine and also i want one anyway bc again i think it’s safer living w#other ppl and not just me and i just have to make sure that my future roommate/s are like.. not as bad as my 2 roommates i had on campus LOL#but it’s like I don’t think im going to be able to even split the cost for a place that is more than just bedrooms a bathroom and a common a#area. and ite like. when in my life if at all am i going to have other rooms to furnish besides my own bedroom. and when in my life am i#gonna be acceptable to my parents to live by myself. and when in my life do i stop talking to them every single day and depending on them fo#for every single decision. when in my life is my mom gonna treat my 40 h/w job (that in fairness i just started and technically haven’t EVEN#starred) with the same seriousness as my dad’s 40 h/w job. and when in my life is this fucking pandemic gonna end so i can go to conferences#and not be a burden or a disappointment and when in my life am i gonna find a life partner etc etc etc. i know i sound naive ungrateful#entitled etc etc and i don’t know what to say about that other than that my mom would think the same and already does lol but im tired of#longing and i would like to be able to function at a bare minimum level of freedom and comfort <3#delete later#also my parents don’t want me living in the city on top of not wanting me to live independently. so. lol <3
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