ayo spencer reid’s mary sue gf is about to get her brains blown out!

WHAT IS A SOUL IF NOTHING AT ALL? ( THIS IS AN ASSESSMENT OF THE INDOMITABLE: MRS. SATINE LI. )

NICKNAME(S)       MODEL T-76SJO5 ARTEM ZODIAC       pisces AGE  /  D.O.B.       appears to be forty,   march of 2014. PLACE  OF  BIRTH      bronx, ny GENDER  /  PRONOUNS       cis  woman,  she / her ORIENTATION       lover of few, hater of many. OCCUPATION       ceo of the old world casino, unknown stonage replicant.

PARALLELS      lilico ( helter skelter ), madeleine swann ( no time to die ), kyoko ( ex machina ), shiv roy ( sucession ), mariette ( blade runner 2049 ), maeve millay ( westworld )

TIMELINE

tl;dr: woman with superimposed daddy issues vows to become a better capitalist than him. surprisingly, she succeeds but at every cost. all recollections were programmed by stonage inc.

01. you  are  born  as  artem:   moon  child  &   as  desirable  as  such.   a  darling  babe  with  empire  as  your  last  name.   as  the  only  daughter  of  this dominion,  you  reside  on  the  edge  of  infinity:   cradling  both  everything  &   nothing  at  all  with  the  promise  of  opportunity  on  either  side.   but  as  your  parents  had  it,  this  playground  kingdom  was  never  truly  yours  to  rule,  for  you  were  merely  their  sweet  disciple.   to  be  worshiped  darling  girl,  one  must  first  conquer. 02. your father was no father at all but a man who left you for the knife and made it his god. he cut and cut until you too were a butchered reflection of him, one look into the gleam of a kitchen knife and it is not yourself that you saw but the shape he wedged you out to be. you were just a child then, but not one above violence so if you could not cut him down so soon, you would inflict your sharpness on those less deserving. 03. man  bore  you  hungry,  so  you  sank  your  teeth  into  life  &  sucked  out  the  marrow  because  you  were  nothing  if  not  insatiable.   unlike  those  before  you  that  had  been  sucked  up  dark  heavens  above,  you had  become  the  undying  star.   too  bright  and  far  too  beautiful  to  be  ignored.   you  bite  &  bite  until  her  jaw  aches,  carving  yourself  out  as  both  sacrifice  &   symbol:  what  may  hail  as  the  end  of  an  epoch  crowns  you  as  the  bastion  of  the  next. 04. you  are  reborn  as  an  asteroid  with  a  human  name,  part  protagonist   &   part  tragedy  as  you  came  hurtling  into  media  res.   you  thought  the  calamity  would  kill  you  but  it  only  made  you  real,  it  peeled  back  skin  &   teeth  to  unveil  a  besmirch  of  marrow  &   blood,  a  tangle  of  all  you  had  ever  been:  needless  in  your  suffering.   you stand above it all now, sat upon your neon olympus. and yet, there  is  no  glory  in  your  agony  and  there  is  no  appeasement  from  the  gods.   so  what  is  it  to  weather  the  pain  if  there  was  the  promise  of  something  more.  

HEADCANONS

the stepford wife of all stepford wives ( batteries & extramarital affairs included! ) just a gal playing house all while swiftly losing touch of her perception of self.

essentially just the frontman for something impossibly larger than herself. her current identity as a replicant is unknown to herself and most others outside of her current handler partner.

daddy's girl until the end of time except her dad never actually existed so she lives in perpetuity of deconstructing the patriarchy with her bare hands & also yearing to bring every man she's ever met to his knees.

her rise to notoriety was a near instant one, appearing out of seemingly thin air as the so-called face of the largest gambling house in the city. her reach is far greater & far more dangerous than she cares to know.

uncanny valley with a cream bow belted around it; nothing but a hollow gaze & a wide, empty smile perched atop of a pair of stilettos.

indescribably violent in all aspects: in love, in hate, in lust. only savors things for their extremes, believes that nothing moderate is worth having.

obsessive regarding the divine feminine: prides that insatiable sense of femininity above all else. more to come soon.

Girlie (gn) you hate Maeve? You have good taste I see, I fucking hated her (well strongly disliked but still) mary sue is such a perfect term, she was just boring and I feel Spencer felt so wet and weepy with her

i don't hate maeve so much as i hate the maeve plotline! i think strongly dislike is a really good phrase to use when talking about my feelings towards maeve's character.

as a character, she's super flat and one dimensional. i think she and spencer were "together" for eight months(?) and the episode where you learn the most about her is the one where she fucking dies. i've spent all day thinking about this and im beginning to think that part of the reason why she is a mary sue is that spencer tends to put people he cares about on pedestals and ignores their flaws.

and youre like "what flaws does she have if you barely know anything about her" and okay i'll tell you:

b-12 and magnesium as a treatment for migraines is fucking insane. i'm not saying it couldn't work, but all through season 6 (re: 6x12 "corazon") spencer is seeing doctors and anyone who has ever dealt with a fuckass chronic disease/illness will tell you that a blood panel like that would be one of the first steps in reaching a diagnosis!!!

why on god's green earth would you have a stalker, be dating an fbi agent, and not let your fbi agent boyfriend help you? i have been stalked before!!!! it's not fun!!!!! i'd take all the help i could've gotten at the time. this has always rubbed me the wrong way because oh my god the solution was right there the whole time. he could have protected you! he would have protected you!

i know they weren't technically doctor/patient but there is still some weird power dynamic in their relationship that gives me the ick. other than they're smart and they read, they really dont have much in common.

their relationship to me is equivalent to the girl i dated online after we met through percy jackson fan accounts. i.e. not really a relationship. most of their interaction was off screen and i think that did a huge detriment to the plot.

in the end, i think the maeve storyline and 8x12 "zugzwang" is a hard watch. i can't take it seriously. i'd skip it, but then i'd miss so much blake content (and hotch looks so good in that episode sorry spencer) (not into the fuckass bob in season 8). at the same time, i know it was like... mgg's idea and i'm pretty sure he's friends with beth riesgraf. (he loves to traumatize himself idk). but the whole thing gets messier when you think about the implications left by 14x15 "truth or dare" and the abhorrent jeid plot in season 15 where it's insinuated that spencer has been in love with jj for fifteen years (zoinks) and it's like what about maeve??? i don't know man (gn) i could go on for hours about this

that being said, i see a lot of people not liking the actress who plays maeve. i am telling you that it had to have been the writing or the directing in the episodes because beth riesgraf is incredible. she played a character named parker in the tv show leverage (one of my favorite tv shows of all time) and let me tell you That Is Her Role.

jesus this was long i had more to say than i thought sorry thank you anon

so many of the plots for CM were so fucking stupid (why is JJ in the middle east for example) but the Maeve one feels so flat!! they tried to re do the impact of "100" but didn't put the multi EP effort into it, so we get barely 5 minutes of them as a couple and everything we know about Maeve is info dump, like I've cared more about single episode victims than I've done her. It also doesn't help that what little we get of her is too samey? so it just comes off as "person literally designed to be a good match for Spencer" instead of A Person I should care about. OH! and to do all of that only for the show to be like wait no nvm Spencer's been into JJ the entireee time sorry Maeve!

i've said it before and i'll say it again: spencer had more chemistry with those one off love interests in single episodes than he did with any of the "long term" gf's he had (really just maeve and max) (my beef with max is so niche)

i'm talking like. austin from "52 pick up". dorian from "rock creek park". and dylan (einstein) from "hero worship".

"you speak yoruba?" "i can get by" shit fucking gets me every time. you're telling me he asks her out in russian and NOTHING ELSE HAPPENED??????

when spencer is with maeve we literally see them having whisper conversations in phone booths. people always say he's so shy and insecure but watch those episodes because that man can fucking FLIRT with the best of them. there is so such thing as having a love interest be too similar to a character and that is such a huge fault in the writing for maeve!!

i could write a fucking essay with citations on why the jeid plotline in season 15 is the worst thing to happen to the show.

and since you brought it up WHY THE FUCK WAS JJ IN THE MIDDLE EAST??? she's so wonderful in her role as communications liaison it makes no sense to me why she'd be in the middle east just because... she's good at talking to people??? it was also pretty obviously a last minute thing because several times in season 7 and 8 there's mention of jj having been home. spencer went to her house for 10 (?) weeks mourning emily - so jj was home. will even tells her that things were easier when she was at the pentagon. one of the major selling points from strauss was that she'd be able to be home more.

anyways suspension of belief in criminal minds goes crazy. continuity isn't real.