posts like that break my stupid fucking heart lol. i hate being in this situation and i hate that i hate it because im convinced im delusional about how bad it is right now and that it’s my fault for being a terrible selfish daughter and also it could be SO much worse. but no im not entirely terrible or selfish and yes this situation is bad even if it’s not the absolute worst it’s ever been or ever could be. i know we’re working on fixing some parts of it but that does not negate that i am living a suffocated life right now and never have fully known that freedom even when i haven’t lived in this house and still have so much work to do to finally get it and im so overwhelmed by this that i keep putting it off and running away

HELLO MY FELLOW TRAVELERS!

I, like many viewers, have been completely entranced by Hawk and Tim’s love story in Fellow Travelers. As a mature queer person, this show has been very emotional, and I am deeply invested. (I WILL riot if Tim doesn’t get to die in Hawk’s arms, and know that he is, and has always been, loved by Hawk.) But I digress.

Something that I have been fascinated by are the differing opinions that have surfaced about the characters, especially Hawk. I’m not looking for any arguments here, everyone is entitled to their opinion, and this is simply mine. To me, Hawk falls hard and fast for Tim. He breaks all his own rules for Tim - they topple over like a house of cards.

When we are introduced to Hawk, he’s cold and heartless with the men he hooks up with - they are nothing more than a body to fulfil his sexual needs and desires. He doesn’t do repeats and he doesn’t bring them home. But Tim, he instantly begins returning to, gets him a job, then allows him into his own apartment, etc. When Tim pushes back, Hawk relents further, letting him in emotionally, sharing parts of his past, crossing lines by introducing him to others in his circle, and so on.

Hawk is a traumatised man, carrying guilt and anger and shame, and a bucket load of fear! Yes, he has some internalised homophobia, but interestingly, he’s also extremely righteous about his homosexuality -and I don’t believe he thinks being gay is wrong in any way. (His response to his father is indicative of this).

I can personally say that I’ve never thought it was wrong to be queer, yet I spent much of my life hiding who I was and feeling shame. It’s an odd thing! Perhaps it is that the shame forms purely from what is outside of us, while what is inside of us can love another person of the same sex, knowing it is right and pure. Perhaps these contradictions between self and society are what causes so much pain and conflict?

But back to Hawk. Hawk is undoubtedly most affected by his teenage first love experience. A love that he fucked up through his own fears (fear for many men is unacceptable and a sign of weakness), and now carries the burden of believing he is responsible for their death. Hawk doesn’t allow himself to love again, until Tim. And we see many times throughout the show how much Hawk fears losing Tim. And in the end he’ll have to face that fear. I think that, in part, not attempting to have a life with Tim, is also fuelled by his fear of fucking it up and losing Tim - so it’s easier to just not attempt it! In episode 7, when he loses his son, part of that spiral is Hawk recognising that he can’t really prevent loss, and he wasted his life trying to be something he’s not - still losing his child and Tim along with it.

But Hawk is a survivor! And no one has the right to hate or judge him for it. I don’t think some young people truly understand what it feels like to live in a world where who you love can put you in jail, and destroy your life. I grew up in the 70s/80s and my experiences were bad enough, but I try so very hard to think about what it was like before that! When being queer was a crime and a mental illness! That’s pure terror! And for Hawk, he chose to survive the best way he knew how, and he wasn’t able to change because that’s fucking hard when all you’ve known is living in constant ‘fight or flight,’ and when have chronic trauma and experience collective trauma.

I think in episode 8 we’ll finally get to see Hawk grow - I certainly hope so - because he deserves to be free. Our beautiful Skippy has been free for some time, and while we mourn for the cruelty of a world that would take such a truly decent man, I am glad he got to live freely. Being closeted is the worst kind of suffering- a compartmentalised and fragmented existence where you are never truly whole, and therefore can never be the best version of yourself.

Before I go, I just wanted to also talk about being in a closeted relationship-which I experienced in my youth. I think that Hawk and Tim’s intense and toxic and exquisitely beautiful relationship, in part, arises from this. Because two closeted people in love live their relationship in secret, in a bubble, only in certain rooms, with none of the outside world reflected back at them. It becomes the two of you against the world. It’s so insular. Hawk and Tim literally live their 1950s relationship within two rooms - their apartments. All their memories are held within those walls. And it only belongs to them. They know each in ways that no other living soul does. It’s all-consuming and often unhealthy, but also stupidly romantic.

Anyway, sorry for this long winded post that no one will read and is likely full of grammatical errors because I’m tired! This atheist is praying we get everything we need from episode 8! Acceptance, forgiveness, understanding resolution, healing and a whole lot of love! ❤️

Cheers queers! 🏳️‍🌈

PS Matt and Johnny are exquisite on and off screen and I am so thankful to them for bringing these characters and this story into our lives!

okay this is gonna be a bit of a long rant (with some SA and CSA mentions so pls don’t read if that will be too much for you rn) but I’ve been thinking a lot about the “male loneliness epidemic” lately and I have some Thoughts ™

we live in very isolating, depressing and scary times. we live in a hyper-individualistic capitalist hellscape that seems to punish people who need community support. and I truly believe that we as humans should try to help each other out in the ways that we are able to.

but I lose 100% of my empathy for lonely depressed men when they start using their own personal issues as an excuse to peddle ideologies that advocate for rape, pedophilia, child marriage, sexual slavery, and even murder of women and girls. I don’t fucking care how sad you are, if you advocate for other humans beings to be subjected to the cruelest treatment possible then you either need to get serious help or die (and not take anyone with you when you do).

you do not have a fucking paramount on suffering. you are not the only ones who experience loneliness. I know you think women get to just pick and choose whichever romantic partner/friends we want, but that is false, and also being seen as nothing but a sex object by men is so incredibly isolating too. that’s not real love and connection, that’s only being valued for what we can provide for men. so many people feel so alone and it genuinely is a big problem.

I was raised in an extremely misogynistic cult that preaches that grown men are not responsible for anything they do to little girls bc “they’re wired that way.” I had very bad things happen to me before I was even old enough to realize what it meant. and you know what the excuse always is? “well it happened to him when he was younger too so he can’t help that he does it to you.” I learned very early that male suffering is viewed as more important than the suffering they inflict on innocent people. and despite going through this, despite seeing nearly every woman in my life go through something similar, despite all of this, I still would never ever sympathize with any ideology that preaches rape, slavery, sex trafficking, pedophilia, white supremacy, etc. and that doesn’t make me some super hero, it makes me a mildly normal person.

so no, nobody “pushed” you into your evil ideologies, nobody made you do that. if true suffering at the hands of the opposite sex is really the root cause of inceldom then almost every single woman I know would be the most insane incel you’d ever meet in your entire life. but they’re not, even though many of them are lonely and long for true companionship, none of them feel so angry and entitled to it that they want to murder and rape men or little boys. not a single one. the root cause of inceldom is, and always has been, male entitlement. men who were raised to believe the world and every woman in it exists to serve them in some way, but then grew up and realized that actually nobody is owed sex and you don’t get to force women to marry you and have kids, because we are human beings who deserve to be happy too. and this makes them so mad that they start thinking it’s okay to do whatever they want to whoever they want, because after all, nobody on planet earth could ever suffer as much as incels do when a woman tells them no.

I’m fucking sick of it. stop saying “they pushed me to this” and start taking even an ounce of accountability for your deranged, entitled mindset.

Hi, I don’t rlly know how to explain this but I’ll try haha.

I recently found out I have Egyptian and specifically Coptic ancestry, through family tree making, matching with cousins, gedmatch, dna testing, etc and now personal confirmation from family/ancestors.

The problem is idrk who was the Coptic ones in my family as my dad died when I was four and I’ve had no contact with his family at all since. I know it came from his mother, but I can’t even give you her name let alone where she was from, or anything. Although I want to learn more and reconnect and eventually find out who they were exactly. It’s just hard because my dad’s living family has no contact w us and since he’s dead, it’s been hard to get records as well.

I would like to learn more about Coptic culture and Egypt in general but I am worried about people considering me a ‘culture thief’ since I only recently. found this out a few months ago but didn’t really have 100% confirmation until like 2 weeks ago. And even though I can prove genetically I have ancestry Coptic I can’t really say who my ancestors were which would probably make some skeptical.

Especially because I am African American and there already exists a rift between Egyptians and AAs bc of hoteps who claim Egyptian culture/claim Egyptians are just Arabs who ‘stole’ Egyptian culture. I want to be respectful but I’m unsure how to navigate this.

I guess I’m asking if you have any idea how I should move forward, or if you know of any resources to learn more? I want to be respectful, but I would also love to start to reconnect even if I don’t know where my ancestors were exactly from other than ‘Egypt’.

Hello! First of all, this is both a very respectful and a very personal ask, so I want to thank you for trusting me with that. I hope my answer can help you find peace with the matter a little.

Instead of trying to figure out if the overall sentiment of trying to reconnect is harmful or not, because there's really no answer to that in and of itself, and instead stop at every individual action taken to reconnect and asking: could this be harming anybody?

For example, if you'd like to pick up Coptic language lessons, could this action possibly be harmful to anyone? Not really. Is reading about Coptic culture and engaging with what survived of it in modern day harmful? I don't think so.

The only possible thing that I can think of that might be harmful is, I have awful experiences with certain diaspora Copts who have never really engaged with the community nor know much of it, who suddenly butt in conversations about Coptic politics in Egypt like they're an expert on it despite never having been or known anything about it themselves, but from the way you've written this ask I doubt you're the kind of person to do that anyway, seeing as you're being very respectful and that you recognize that there's some dissonance in your experience (which there's no shame in, but the self awareness is helpful as a guide of when to participate and when not to!)

I don't know if I said this before on this blog but, to my knowledge, the matter of the hotep subculture entails far more than just questioning the Egyptian identity, and seeing as I'm neither African American nor Black at all, I don't think it's my place to comment on it. I invite any of my Black followers to contribue to intra-community discussion in the reblogs/comments for you to read, though!

All I can promise you is that even if the notion that the population of Egypt was displaced rather than converted during the Arab conquest of Egypt is false, there still are Black Egyptians and there always have been. Sadly I'm sure there will always be people who try to make you feel like a pretender, but that is true of so many things and regardless of what you do, so always remember thay Black people have always been part of Egypt's history, and that nobody is entitled to know your personal details or family history and you don't need to disclose anything you're not comfortable with to prove anything to them.

As for resources, there's always a lot on Egyptology in general, so the specific topics that would be helpful to be aware of are: modern history of Copts (or Copts post the Arab Conquest of Egypt), the persecution of Copts, the decline of the Coptic language and the efforts to revive the language. The last two are especially pertinent nowadays.

Lastly you can always ask other Copts! I may not have all the answers but I'm sure between me and my followers we can find something helpful for you if you're trying to find a specific resource of have more questions. (The scarcity of resources is something we *all* have to deal with, even us here in Egypt, I'm afraid, but it's not a lost cause! You'd be surprised how much is out there on internet archives.)

I hope you have a lovely day. ♥️

How do yanderes react to an affectionate reader?

Warnings: mentions of sexual intimacy, obsession, yandere, but it's honestly most fluff

— Silas: 

This man is a jealous, possessive, psychopathic little bitch and would melt if you were affectionate. Silas hasn’t been given much tenderness in his life, so in the beginning he’d be a bit uncomfortable. He thinks that you’d only want him in bed like everyone else. But when he realizes that you actually want to be close to him and hold him without anything sexual, he’d be determined. You would never be able to back out from that moment. Whatever chance you had of breaking up with him before are gone now.

“My sweet, little baby, you are so perfect. So, so perfect. You’re the best little thing in the world, aren’t you? A cute soul like you don’t belong in this harsh and unforgiving world … I’m going to protect you, make sure you’ll never be tainted.”

— Dr Kry:

This man is a big fan of his personal space. Physical affection is not something he is prepared for. He’d hold your hand and give you quick hugs before he felt himself getting nervous — a feeling he hates. He can’t let you know just how powerful you are over him. If you played your cards wisely, you’d have him wrapped around your finger like a puppy. But if you’re more of a person that wants to give him gifts and write him cute notes, he’d be more okay with it. He’d keep them all to look at when he’s feeling down. 

“Alright, one hug … but then you need to go to bed, okay, Y/N? Good girl/boy. I’ll see you tomorrow, sweetheart. You can always call for me if you need me, goodnight.” As soon as he comes out of the room, he puts his hand over his racing heart. “Fuck, fuck, fuck … fuck, Y/N, you don’t know what you do to me.”

— King Edward:

He loves having you affectionate. Edmund is an entitled little prick who’s gotten everything served on a silver platter. He expects you to worship him as well as much as he worships you. He can’t handle when people go against him, so if you’re affectionate, he won’t have much to worry about. He loves holding you, loves to hear you talk about your day and how much you’ve missed him. 

“You feel so good in my arms, my queen. I love you so, so much. Promise me you will only be mine. Promise me that you don’t show this wonderful side of you to anyone else. I’m the only one worthy enough to have your arms wrapped around me.”

— Jerry:

Just like Silas, Jerry hasn’t experienced much affection other than sexual ones. She’s uncomfortable with you being affectionate for the most part and often rejects you when you want to touch her. But there are moments where she can’t say no to you. If you’re crying (and it’s not because of a punishment that she is sure that you’ve earned) then she’ll swallow her pride, wrap you in her arms and give in. If you’d give her a gift (like a necklace or shirt etc), she’d pretend not to like it, but wear it all the time and not let anyone else touch it.

“Don’t touch me baby or I will send you to the basement. Don’t test me. Oh … you got me a gift? Is that why you’re so frantic? I thought you wanted to hug me. A necklace? Does it look like I wear necklaces?” When you say that you can take it back and change it, she’ll hit your hand. “No, don’t touch it, it’s mine now.”’

— Hedwig:

This girl would love it. Hedwig needs affection to stay alive. She’ll hold your hand 24/7, kiss every piece of skin that is visible, send you silly, little love notes and tell you how good you are, how perfect you two are together. So if you’re the same back … she’ll be over the moon.

“Look, I got you the video games you wanted! We can play together! You got me something as well? You didn’t have to feel bad for not giving me stuff … you know I love spoiling you! Okay, I can take it this time, but next time, don’t waste your money on me, okay? I love you, so, so much … I think my heart is going to explode!”

R.E taxidermy & disrespecting their bodies, I saw a taxidermist on insta who took a bird that had been killed by a cat - the poor thing's body was really quite mutilated, almost unrecognizable as the living creature it once was - and restored it back to what it looked like before, which I actually thought was quite beautiful/poignant - even to an unaffected outsider it was moving to see the 'life' restored the the animal. To me, it's more reminiscent of a human corpse being restored for a funeral viewing, which is something that's healing to some people - I know there's a few who get their pets taxidermied.

Just for clarity, I don’t think that disrespecting the animal’s body is the problem with taxidermy, since I have no real beliefs about the sacredness of dead bodies or the respect they’re due on any inherent level, outside of our feelings about them. My problem more comes from the resource lost to the natural world, as well what it says about us and our relationship with animals, particularly our feelings of entitlement.

I can understand that people may get a lot out of it as art but it’s meaningless for the animal. You can find ways of justifying it on the basis that no harm is caused etc but it’s the attempts at making it some sort of favour or service to the animal that really ring hollow. The animal is dead, they can’t benefit from anything done to dress up their body after death and they’re unlikely they have any wishes about what happens to their body. Their wider animal community however, are the ones who lose the benefit of that body in terms of a natural resource.

Regardless, what healing is really necessary for the death of a wild animal who the taxidermist presumably did not know and did not have any strong feelings towards? In this particular instance the animal was killed as a result of humans keeping cats and letting them go outside, they will never have their life restored. It’s hard to argue that this has anything to do with the animal benefiting from the process, it’s really only us who get anything from it.

People talk about taxidermy as creating beauty from a dead body, and I know that’s subjective, but I think that there is far more beauty in letting an animal’s body return to the earth, being consumed by other animals, bacteria and funghi, their body being returned to nature and their energy reused, something else growing in their place. That is more beautiful to me than a body being removed from the natural world forever, treated with chemicals and preservatives then stuffed and sat on someone’s shelf.

I have no strong ethical objection here, it just feels like a very tasteless and wasteful activity to me, to dress up and stuff a dead body rather than letting it return to their natural ecosystem. That just seems like a much better way to ‘honour’ the animal, if that is the goal. I think its less about love of the animal or beauty, and more about us exercising a perceived right to take ownership of an animal’s body after death, then using it for our own amusement.

Aging up characters and questionable content

Theres a lot of drama going on in the avatar fandom and I just wanted to elaborate my opinion on this, since it affects me and my works too.

I‘m trying to be as respectful as possible and chose my words wisely because I really don’t want to get canceled or upset people.

First of all, I just want to make it clear that everyone is entitled to have their own opinion, especially about sensitive topics like these and I fully respect that!

I have a few mutuals and I also follow a handful of other great authors who consider aging up minor characters as questionable and that’s absolutely fine with me. As long as you don’t treat me as less than a human, you will always have my full respect. I‘m always trying to be friendly to everyone and I obviously still support your works, even if we don’t share the same opinion on this.

I also don’t force them or literally anyone to consume my content and I know that some of my mutuals (probably most) only follow me for my fics about characters that are canonly adults (Jake, Quaritch, Tonowari, etc…) and I don’t mind that either.

I do my best to make sure that my fics are tagged properly, that I use the correct content warnings and also the 'read more' option, so everyone who’s not interested in certain posts can simply ignore them. I’m also always up for constructive criticism and please don’t hesitate to let me know if I didn’t include any important warnings on my fics or if there are any triggers that I forgot to mention.

What I’m trying to say is: I appreciate if people just scroll past content they’re not interested in. If I can do it, you can do too. No matter how questionable some fics may be, nobody is forcing you to consume them. As long as the author tags their fics properly, of course!

Which is why I‘m also speaking up to every author out there: tag your fic properly! Make sure people can avoid your works if they contain anything that could be triggering– that goes from soft to explicit smut, to non-con, to dub-con and to literally any kinks, AU’s and tropes there are. Give your readers a warning beforehand, so they know what they’re about to consume. And please, please, please make sure to use the 'read more' option on tumblr (this is very important to me personally too)! And if someone points out that there are warnings or tags missing on your fics, please appreciate that they’re reaching out to you, I‘m sure their intentions were good. It really doesn’t hurt to include some more tags, even if they seem 'unnecessary' to you -> better safe than sorry!

Just be mindful of each other and treat everyone with respect, so we can all avoid any unwanted and most of all unnecessary drama and enjoy this fandom together.

Now, back to the main topic of this post:

I personally don’t view this type of content (or myself) as predatory or necessarily wrong, just because the characters are aged up. I‘m fully aware that sexualizing minors is wrong and it’s not my intention to create sexual scenarios about underage characters! To me, this is all just fiction. They’re not real. They’re literally blue aliens lol. I also consume and produce dark content like non-con and even stepcest au‘s, but that is something I would never ever support or want to experience in real life!!! I really can’t stress this enough, this is just fictional to me. And just because I age up characters or think they’re attractive in the movie, doesn’t mean I’m attracted to minors in real life. (I‘m not even attracted to guys that are only a year younger than me…)

I‘m also not aging them up to make myself feel better or because I think it makes the whole situation morally right, I’m aging them up because I’m only attracted to guys that are my age (or even older), which is basically the complete opposite of a pedophile as far as I know (?). I really hope that somehow makes sense and I’m not digging my own grave here…

However, I really can’t say this enough: I am absolutely fine that people have different opinions about that and if you’re following me and I ever post something that makes you uncomfortable, even if we’re mutuals/friends, you can unfollow or block me! I just want people to be comfortable on my blog and don’t force anyone to see content that is triggering to them or goes against their believes.

What I don’t support however, is people making fun of others publicly. Talk however you want about my work in private, idc. You can send me a DM if you want to say something, but please don’t encourage others to make fun of me, my works or others.

If you ever accidentally read something, because let’s say the author didn’t mention certain kinks / tropes or literal anything that’s triggering to you beforehand— reach out to them in private. And authors on the other hand, should be mindful of the content that they create and give people the option to avoid them. But please don’t cause public drama, don’t cause a literal witch-hunt. Online bullying can really fuck up peoples lives and mental health.

I think most drama could’ve been avoided if people were just more respectful towards one another and would handle things in private.

I really really hope that I chose the right words for this, as someone who’s not fluent in english it can be so hard to defend myself or get my point across lol

Last but not least, I just want to say thank you, especially to all my mutuals who continue to be respectful towards me, even if they have other opinions regarding the aging up of characters and all that. I‘m just glad that you’re here and chose to enjoy my other works instead. ❤️

I’m gonna try and make my point again but on anon bc worried of harassment if Certain People don’t agree.

the christofascist themes in warriors I’ve only been able to notice because they align pretty well with patterns I’ve noticed in my own life. clan life (and starclan) HAS to be the only way for cats. it has to be accepted willingly, or forced upon the “lesser” groups (see, atheist or simply non christian) or they will be destroyed in some way. chased off their own land, killed, assimilated, etc. the clan cats are colonists just like eropean christians. see, squirrelflight’s hope. why does no one challenge the clan’s ideas that they are entitled to land, any land, that would benefit them? even if other cats live there? because they aren’t christia- I mean clan cats so they’re lesser and their lives are expendable. see again, squirrel flight’s hope.

I know the conflict of that book that everyone remembers (other than the abuse apologists and kids who don’t understand) is bramblestar abusing squirrelflight for 464 pages (and then getting her sister killed but he’s a man so it’s okay), but the glaring problem is the author’s bias on people different from them. there was absolutely no reason the only cat loudly protesting the slaughter of expecting mothers and children was the protagonist. and she was treated as though she were in the wrong, and punished over and over again in this book alone. remember they hate squirrelstar and her ideals. heinous, genuinely. and there wasn’t even a good resolution to that! moonlight died! the sisters had to leave! and then helped them in the next arc! what the fuck! anyway

one will note how christians are known to refer to non christians as “wicked” “evil” “dark” “lost” or other terms to make it pretty clear they think less of you for not sharing their faith. the clans the same. even through uncontrollable circumstances such as birth you are shamed in this society and downright humiliated on a good day, attempted murder on a bad one (stormpaw, featherpaw and stonefur)

and the victim mentality the clans have along with the paranoia that they are constantly at risk of being wiped out despite there being like 30 cats in their fucking colonies at all times. there is always a war on christianity. there is always a fight the clans have to win to survive. they always have to kill someone else, lately someone minding their business, to survive. they have to impose themselves on other cultures because they are the True way of life and they never have to be confronted with the idea that they are just as flawed if not more than their counterparts. and if they are, conveniently their opposition is killed off or written to submit later on proving them right. I will not include bloodclan and the kin in this because they were legitimate threats, even if in a way they were also caused by clan culture.

the most glaringly obvious example of why I believe warriors and christofascism overlap outside of the need to force themselves on everyone, is the inability to question anything without severe punishment. you cannot question god without threat of eternal damnation or being ostracized from peers and even attacked. you cannot question starclan without threat of eternal damnation and the same. even when there is no logical solution but to admit that they’re wrong and cruel and just as petty and dangerous as the dark forest, in the end the lesson is that you should listen to starclan, never doubt, never question, or you will be punished. and there is no hope for redemption even if you offer yourself to be used.

that is the issue I have. and it’s a very obvious one that I’m sure I’m not the only one who says something about it, but depending on where you live, I live in southern america, it’s not hard to see parallels. do I think it will ever escalate to the severity of reality? no. probably not ever. but the fact that I can see it is what worries me.

again not very well written, and I even got anxious towards the end so my apologies if it’s hard to follow or too sloppy! just wanted to share my thoughts even if people don’t agree.

This is really interesting, thanks for sharing!! I thought it was pretty illuminating, as I'm someone who's never heard of the term Christofascism. I don't know enough about Christian discourses or the subject at hand to commentate too much unfortunately, but I really appreciate your taking the time to write this out for me. If you're interested in expanding this further, I'd actually recommend looking into some texts on decolonization, as a lot of what you wrote hit on points similar to that (in my opinion of course).

I'm not really the best person to asks for texts like that so I'm gonna link you to communistkenobi's reading recommendations on the subject.

edit: missed it so thank you to cicadaclan for pointing this out but i'd argue against the separation of bloodclan and the kin in this. bloodclan are literally written to be godless outsiders who hate families. the kin are the continuation of the evil outsider intent on destroying the clans. the kin, whether or not they were a threat, still fall into the evil outsider trope.

It’s always events like these that can show both the best and worst of humanity, with lots of support coming in for the King, Catherine and the family… but conversely, the amount of vile comments under most news sites really make me sick. Interestingly, I don’t even care all that much about what Harry and Meghan’s cult have to say, because you just know already that they will make up the worst fake situations and run with it like it’s the truth. I’ve seen the most disgusting things from them. But again, it’s to be expected, and they just mindlessly hate everything about the royal family.

No, the worst for me is realising how entitled many Brits come across when they discuss the NHS, private healthcare and whether wealthy people are “entitled” to receive better healthcare, and that the royal family should be made to use the NHS exclusively (including waitlisting etc) as most people. I have tried to read all the tweets and comments where people actually share their stories of understaffed hospitals, long waiting lists leading to potentially avoidable deaths etc, and I truly have sympathy with them. But do they not realise how high the standard of care they receive is, especially for “free” (through tax) healthcare??? Look, I live in South Africa. Our private healthcare is really good (many expats say on par with Europe), but only around 20% of the population can afford it. The public health system on the other hand.. it’s the same quality doctors, but hospitals are SEVERELY understaffed, often overcrowded, lacking in resources, so that the care you often receive is really sub-par. When people complain about months-long wait lists for operations or procedures, again, I have sympathy, but also, for SA public healthcare, this means someone going to A&E waits literal hours for any sort of care at times. I live in a small town, and the closest hospital is a public one. There was an accident where a man accidentally severed his hand using a chainsaw, so they opted to taking him to the public hospital 30 mins away vs the private one 2hrs away, to get help quicker. He ended up in the waiting room, holding his severed hand, for over three hours and had not been helped AT ALL, when they decided to drive the further 1hr30 to the private hospital. Many people would jump at the chance for our public healthcare to be even in the vicinity as good as the NHS. And also, those who don’t have medical aid over here never begrudge those who have access to private healthcare. It’s more of a situation where if someone has access to that, rather use that than take up more resources that the public healthcare doesn’t have, even if there are benefits to using those systems for simpler situations (like regular checkups, prescription medication being really cheap or even free, but then there’s less for people who really need it). They seem to be completely lacking in empathy and ironically, completely unaware of their own privilege.

No I completely agree, a lot of things that you said are completely true for Indian Healthcare system too. Buy yk what these people do not realise that doctors and nurses themselves often encourage people who can afford private care to get private care to make sure those who only rely on public health services can get them as quick as possible especially if there's an emergency. My own dad has had had chats like this with his patients. We were just talking about it yesterday while on call because this exact thing came up when I was like why don't people understand how medical Healthcare works. It pisses me off so much, especially when some of the stuff people say isn't even accurate at all. The NHS though a fabulous institution, is deeply deeply flawed not because there's an issue with it per say but because of the utter mismagement by the the govt and nobody else's fault. The Tories in the past 13 years has run it to the ground, massively underfunded etc etc but even then it is a whole lot better than most countries around the globe like you said.

I'm not blaming the public because it isn't their fault at all that they are having to wait for even simple checkups let alone complex procedures which they need. It's not their fault that they've been dealt a shitty hand from the govt who'll rather do everything else than actually help those who they are supposed to represent. I completely and 100 percent empathize with them but blaming the problems the govt has created on somebody else who's having a health crisis no matter who they are isn't okay imo.

What all you said about SA is completely parallel to what happens in India word to word. It's horrific stories all around. My own dad has always said that even he wasn't himself aware of the dire situation that exists virtually everywhere else. Not saying that there aren't issues when it comes to the nhs for ordinary people, but that the standard of care people get through them might be flawed at times but is still a millions miles ahead of most places on Earth. He does say that he wasn't aware of the privilege he had as a kid or even as an adult until he actually started working outside of it. As a kid it was so easy for him to get a doctor if he was sick etc but working in his field all these years in places all across and even today in India makes him realise of how easy he and his family & those around them had compared to all this bs. One of his earliest patients when we moved to India was a kid of 10 or 11, it was supposed to be a normal operation right? Could be done in any of the places in their local community health centres but couldn't happen. Why? Because the govt sure has made the building but not put the actual staff and machinery in there. So they travelled from their village in central maharashtra to Bombay to get their child a fucking hernia removal which takes just an hour at most. And they didnt get it in the govt hospital even then because of several problems but through the ngo & hospital my dad works with. With this you can easily imagine the state of it all.

And I'm glad that I have seen people a lot of them medical professionals in the past 2 days who have been like it's good that they are going private not because they are rich and they should but because that will make sure no extra stress is put on an already crippled nhs. Now as for the issue of private Healthcare, I have always been against privatizing something as basic a human right as Healthcare for all and believe that it should be accessible to everyone regardless of where they come from or who they are. But also the reality i that we live in a world based on capitalism, so there is no way around the fact that as long as the prevailing economic structure exists, these disparities will also exist because they are a direct result of that. So blaming it on somebody who's already staying way from the public system to ensure she doesn't burden it doesn't seem to be great even if you think about it logically or emotionally. When it is the Govt who has been hell bent on making sure the nhs turns into the across the pond version of the disaster that the American health care system is.

Then they are also being like 14 days? Oh extra precautions cause of who she is. UMMM NO! Any doctor will tell you that's basically the normal time to have an hospital stay after a large incision there to make sure there's no further emergency situation and to avoid any infection or even ur stitches coming out. Abdominal surgery is no cakewalk and comes with significant risks so yah you do need to be extra extra cautious. Those assumptions honestly make me so fucking angry because if you don't know shit about medicine then kindly do us all a favour and stfu.

And I never ever ever will understand how any decent person can wish bad health, death etc on anybody else, someone whos done nothing to you. Like how does your own conscience allow that? You don't like someone? great you are entitled to your own opinion. But wishing harm to somebody just because of that is so so disgusting to me especially when that person has done nothing to you or anyone else ever except get married into a family you don't like. Even when PP and QEII passed away the vitriol and the I'm glad they are dead jokes were just out of my comprehension. And I do think it has a lot to do with the fact that over time the idea of anonymity on the internet has made us as a society this way, like who's gonna check you when you talk like this about someone online. And also imo, it's also become a thing where it makes you 'cool' to challenge everything you see around you online; not necessarily because you might also believe in it too but because it makes you different than all the other mere mortals around.

I had so much more to say but I realise how long it already is so 🙃 I'm sorry for the length of it, I just couldn't stop myself.

Earth-6198 Flash ref!! Yippee!!

His appearance and personality are based almost entirely off of MCU Flash (with some of my own personal touches obviously), though the reasons he acts the way he acts are different. I also took several aspects from the comics, story-wise. He’s probably the character I’ve put the most thought into for this AU. I love him dearly :]

Abbreviated info under the cut! (It’s still pretty long, though.) Content warning for ableism.

I wouldn’t call Flash a bully exactly, because that would imply aggression; he’s just, well, a teenage boy. He also comes from a pretty wealthy family, which makes him entitled, plus his parents don’t really give him any positive attention. He makes insensitive jokes and generally tries to keep himself as the center of attention because he’s insecure and seeks approval from his peers. Will do pretty much anything to be liked, and if that fails he’ll act out for attention. He’s very resentful of anyone he considers to be smarter or “better” than him. Flash has a running rivalry with Harry Osborn. Harry is somewhat GNC, has stereotypically “cringe” interests, and is disabled (t1d) so he’s an easy target for Flash’s mean jokes. (Flash thinks that he’s “allowed” to make ableist jokes at others’ expense because he himself is disabled.) 

Flash has cerebral palsy which affects his fine motor skills and ability to walk. His parents got him into physical therapy as early as possible, and he responded well to it— but not well enough for their liking. In Harrison Thompson’s mind, the goal wasn’t to improve Flash’s quality of life, but to “fix” him. Flash grew up with his parents constantly looking down on him, insinuating that his disabilities were his own fault. Sentiments like “you just have to work harder to compensate; if you fall behind, it’s because you’re not trying hard enough” were common. He’s taken that mentality to heart, and has very little self-worth + large amounts of pent-up stress and anger that he takes out at anyone else who is also “abnormal” (hence his meanness towards Harry). 

He has also latched onto Spider-Man as a more… positive(?) reflection of these feelings— his father, who’s a police chief, hates Spidey, so liking him is like Flash’s small way of going against the stuff his parents say (even if it’s subconscious/he doesn’t fully know that’s why). 

In sophomore year, Flash dated Felecia Hardy. They were the world’s most obnoxious couple, always getting in very public fights, breaking up but then getting back together dramatically a week later, etc. Felecia and Flash both have huge crushes on Spider-man, leading Flash to have a sexuality crisis and Felecia to break up with him for good after a few months of dating.

Black Cat was commissioned by an anonymous benefactor to steal an “alien clone” from Alchemax… she’d never done anything NEARLY on that level, but she was being offered a lot of money so she agreed. She did manage to steal the thing, but the deal fell through, and suddenly she had one lab-grown alien and no money to show for it.  At a loss for anything else to do, panicking a little, Felicia dumped the alien onto the only person she could think of: her ex-boyfriend Flash. 

Now, despite what his parents might tell him, Flash is very smart, and figured out what the thing was. Flash is, at first, very hyped about this. His first thought is, of course, to become a vigilante like his idol Spider-Man. Flash has a strong desire to be useful— not in the “I want to help other people” sense but in the “I need to prove to others that I have worth” sense. So, he crafted the Anti-Venom identity for himself!

Around this time, Spider-Man was in the process of fighting his first big villain, Hobgoblin, so the two ended up teaming up to try and take her down (in the least violent way possible). This caused some internal conflict for both Flash and Spidey… 

Flash centered his whole identity around "fitting in" to the point that he actually has no identity of his own. He doesn’t know what he likes, he has no concept af his own style outside of mimicking others that he sees as influential, obviously the most prominent of these being Spider-Man. Which obviously comes with its own twisted irony since Spidey himself is so insecure in his own masculinity (mainly because he’s trans). The two of them were sort of trapped in this feedback loop of insecurity and validation when they first teamed up... Spidey longs for connection, but was unable feel comfortable around Flash as he felt like he has to perform to live up to Flash’s expectations. Meanwhile Flash had based his whole personality off of liking Spider-Man and put on this macho facade to try and impress him. But that just made Spidey feel more inferior, afraid he isn’t passing well enough, etcetera… their dynamic made even more complex by Flash’s very obvious (and unrequited) crush on Spidey.  They’re awful, I love them :3

This feels like a weird thing to ask someone but I greatly respect your ability to speak your honest critical opinion (and in such well spoken terms) in an internet atmosphere where you can get crucified for saying anything less than full-throated praise--and that's exactly my issue. I run a small, fandom-oriented Youtube channel and despite knowing that I'm entitled to critical opinions, that I don't even want the attention of delusional reactionaries anyway, etc etc I'm finding it incredibly difficult to share what I really think of some shows + aspects of fandom and shipping. I've become weirdly terrified of saying one perfectly logical thing that does not align with the elaborate fantasy some people have built in their heads and getting canceled/losing the small base of followers I've managed to cobble together. The real nightmare is sharing something harmless like a shipping opinion and having purity culture come for me and call me a p*dophile for absolutely no reason. But at the same time I feel like a spineless coward for letting the toxic side of fandom win by scaring me into silence, especially when one of my goals for the channel from the beginning was to create a place where level headed critical opinion could be shared without fear of gross overreaction and slander. So I guess my questions are: is it as easy for you to speak honestly as it seems? Have you ever flinched before? Is it just about not caring what irrational people think or is there something else to it I'm missing? Sometimes it feels like my fears are valid and sometimes it feels like I just need to grow a backbone and get over it already.

Hey anon,

So I think there is one really big factor here: I am posting anonymously and facelessly and I don’t mind if I alienate people on the basis of an opinion I genuinely hold. If you’re actively trying to build a following and/or if you’ve made yourself identifiable, then I do in fact understand holding back more for reasons of trying to keep that following, or for reasons of personal safety.

But yeah: it’s mostly just that strangers who send anon hate don’t know jack shit about my life or me as a person; they just see an opinion that, as you said, challenges the elaborate fantasy in their head and attack the person who said it. I have, genuinely, been told things that I know for myself to be demonstrably false about my life (not even opinions about me I reject - demonstrably false things) by people who are ultimately just mad that I don’t like their characters or ships. I would obviously feel terrible if a person I knew in real life accused me of something terrible, and I’d still feel bad if it were someone I interacted with online with any sort of regularity, but someone hiding behind complete anonymity? They’re not calling me names because they genuinely think I’m bigoted. They’re calling me names because they are willing to use tools to try to drag me down because they cannot accept I don’t feel the same way they do about a character. They’re like when conservatives claim that denying service to queer people is religious freedom - they are using what appears to be a legitimate appeal to ostensible shared values, but really they’re exploiting the system and people's desire to take things in good faith because they can't stand not getting their way.

The other thing, and I recognize how much I sound like my parents here, is that your bullies are thinking about you more than you think about them. Anyone who sends hate desperately wants you to agree with them. Show them you are not thinking of them.

And finally, some of the hate I’ve gotten has genuinely been about the most anodyne things, which ironically helps because once you realize that no matter how bland an opinion is, some asshole will foam at the mouth about it.  Like, again, I definitely talk plenty of shit about ships or characters or choices I don’t like, but I got some wildly out of pocket shit from people who apparently could not tolerate the completely random example I used to illustrate a fairly uncontroversial and popular opinion re: ship tagging on ao3. And once something like that happens you realize that there’s no point in avoiding the spicier stuff.

I don’t know if this helps, and I recognize that I happen to have a particularly contrarian and not remotely conflict-averse personality. I respect the many people who are not willing to put up with hate and I don’t blame you if you’re one of them; at points in my life I have not been in a place to put up with it and was much less outspoken. But in the end, the thing about people who harass you is that they care so, so much about you agreeing with them, and if you tell them a flat firm no while also making it clear you don’t give a shit if they ever agree with you, they do tend to eventually give up upon realizing how one-sided their obsession is.

An au in which Thomas and Martha survive and raise Bruce — who becomes a spoiled, entitled narcissist with a penchant for young boys that has Ben enabled since his teens. The family have always done what they can to cover up Bruce’s actions, have never punished him in any way for them, and ignored them when he is open about what he gets up to. They don’t say a word as he slowly collects his sons and uses them openly around the manor, Dick, Jason, Tim, Damian.

Just Thomas and Martha and Alfred all ignoring how openly he is intimate with his sons and never once doing a thing to stop him, instead trying to manage and cover it up, and also enabling? He’s a 30-something man child with the temperament of a hormonal 16 year old who has never been told no or faced consequences for his actions, he can be violent and aggressive if he has to wait too long to get his way, etc.

dark au with thomas, martha, and alfred enabling bruce even when he does horrible things 😔😔😔

my thoughts are always tim centric so with the others i think they all sort of allowed it to happen because dick and jason's parents were gone. at least with bruce adopting them they had a home and a place of semi stability even if they had to...put up with their father's touches. dick leaves as soon as he can at 16 and jason never truly forgives him for it. jason, having been someone who grew up on the street and even engaged in hooking to survive was bruce's favorite until he hit puberty and bruce learned it was more trouble than it was worth with jason who fought back. damian was bruce's biological child and in a way...bruce could do whatever he wanted with him since that was HIS child. jason and dick no longer had parents so it's not like bruce was offending them by doing what he did.

the part that really devastates thomas, martha, and alfred is when bruce sets his eyes on the little neighbor boy. the sweet small boy whose parents were always too busy and whose caretakers weren't paying the kind of attention they should've been to protect him.

with timothy drake it's the first time bruce has ever gone outside the family to satisfy his...needs.

it's alfred who finds them. in the shed where young timothy is sniffling and red-cheeked with his underwear around his ankles while the man alfred calls 'master bruce' is on top of him and grunting while littering kisses all along the little face that whimpers and reaches out a hand for alfred, eyes pleading for help.

but just as he's done for years, alfred does nothing.

he reaches in for the pail he'd gone to the shed for, accidentally kicking the child's bouncing ball that rolls to the back before turning around and letting the wooden door thump shut, locking a child inside with the boogeyman.

alfred knows timothy won't fight, not like how jason does or how dick used to. he's a quiet child and the most he'll do is cry. it's unlikely he'll ever tell his parents about what happened and alfred despises himself for feeling relief at that.

but now master bruce has his eyes set on young timothy and alfred thinks it won't be much longer before master bruce 'befriends' jack and janet and offers to take their son while they're away.

he knows it won't be much longer. with master bruce when he wants something, he never waits before he gets it.

Hey, hey, hey!

*Peeks her head* *looks around* Does anyone even read tumblr posts anymore? Does @taylorswift? Does @taylornation? Because I have an idea for a fan event for The Tortured Poets Department release (or any other album release for that matter) and I’m feeling bold enough to share it somewhere, but there’s too many people on twitter, and I’m subconscious about doing a tiktok video bc I have an accent when I speak English, so I guess Tumblr it is.

Aaaaanyway, Taylor, if you or your team are by chance reading this, I wanted to present to you, with the outmost respect, this idea.

I know Secret Sessions are probably out of the picture because everything is too big and overwhelming now (at least from a fan pov, can’t even imagine from yours). But I also know that you still enjoy meeting us in person and a lot of us still dream of having the chance to hug you and talk to you for a couple minutes.

So, the other day I was watching a grainy livestream of the surprise songs at Melbourne night one (woke up in the am for that one 😂) and heard you say how you’ve never needed songwriting more than when writing TTPD. And it made me think about how fascinated I am with the process of songwriting and creating a song. I periodically watch your “Making of a song” videos and love listening to voice notes and other stuff you’ve put out over the years. I think your lyrics are such a big part of why we fans connect so much with your music, they honestly change lives and I always think about how much I would love to have a conversation with you about the process, because it’s truly fascinating to me.

Which bring us to this idea that for some reason I’m feeling brave enough to write? It’s nothing revolutionary, and could end up being quite similar to SS, but WHAT IF you did some sort of event at an undisclosed location, where you invited fans to talk about the process of songwriting and of making the record. My friends and I always talk about how many questions we would have for you about this topic, about how songs happen, how it is to work with Jack, or with Aaron, how many songs at a time do you work on, do lyrics just appear in your mind? Do you chose the titles at the end or when you’re writing a song you already know the name? etc, etc. I honestly would have a thousand questions for you.

I know this is such a bold thing to even put out there and I swear it’s not entitlement. We completely understand if fan events are too much right now, or ever again; you don’t owe us to do them either, but yeah, just putting my wildest dreams out in the universe for manifestation purposes.

And if for some reason you end up seeing this, ily Taylor🥺

I did a lot of reflecting with myself and my very wonderful and lovely mutuals on an anon I received about confusion on my fic.

And I just wanna say, first, that my response was a very nice one, and also me defending some of the choices that I made (again, v nicely). But I realized after thinking about it that the reason I responded in the first place was that I felt as though it was my fault. The entire tone of the ask felt extremely accusatory, and not once asked kindly for any help.

No author should be torn down and ridiculed from your own confusion. Even if we look past the blatantly rude and entitled tone, the anon didn’t say hi, didn’t ask for any clarification, didn’t point to any specific passages or quotes, and didn’t ask if they could send me a dm. They didn’t give me anything to work with.

They just ridiculed me. They asked if I was serious—if I could “get things straight.” They told me every single issue they had rather than actually engaging with me on any confusion.

I have no problems if someone is confused about dialogue or plot or character decisions and asks, kindly, for clarification. Please, understand that. I encourage you, very much so, that if you are confused, please let me know. I will gladly help, and I have in the past.

And! I have no problems if you don’t like the choices I make regarding the plot points of my fic. that’s okay! You don’t have to. You’re not obligated to enjoy every single fic you read.

But when you tear my fic, limb from limb, and make me feel extremely discouraged, to the point where I thought any and all problems were my fault when it was yours? Especially as the pieces they complained about are in the warnings. All of them. Yeah, that’s not okay.

Here’s a bullet point list of some of the “confusion” they had and how I know their ask in my ask box was bullshit:

Joel was mean (in the warnings)

Joel is jealous (in the warnings and the literal plot of the series)

reader gets mad at Joel, Joel gets mad at reader (in the warnings)

smut after a six-week coma/hygiene (we’re literally talking about a post-apocalyptic reality, and others have confirmed with me that the reader is heavily implied to be bathed)

Joel is jealous (referenced again; THE PLOT & IN WARNINGS)

Ellie is two doors down from the smut happening (she is not, use context clues)

My point in responding and breaking down their “confusion” is to point out two things.

One? Read the warning tags. For the love of god, read the warnings all the way through. I promise you, you will not only understand more about the fic but you also won’t be surprised by anything.

Two? Please don’t do this to writers on this app OR anywhere at all. This is not how you ask for help when you need it. This is an extremely rude, arrogant, and entitled way of telling a writer you’re “confused.” I seriously doubt you would tell a writer this irl, in my opinion.

If you actually want authors, especially on this app, to engage with you, write the fics you want them to write, etc., DONT ACT LIKE THIS.

But also, it’s my fanfiction. It’s my writing. Every ridicule they placed on my fic was given to me as if my particular plot points were awful, and it felt as though they were insinuating that I should change them.

And you know what? I’m 21. I’m a college student. I’m still learning to write because it’s a skill. And that’s okay! It’s okay when fanfics lack clarity or have rough grammar. It’s okay if the plot doesn’t make entirely a lot of sense. It’s okay!

Now, I’m so happy to have grown from that experience, as well as have an amazing support group of people on this app. So, I will continue to be writing the series. I will continue to be writing for that character. I’m not changing a damn thing in my fic for clarification.

Again, I want to thank my mutuals for yanking me back up and helping me understand the depths of the ask they sent me. And big, big thanks to @honeystevie for helping me see that because without her initial reply, I’m sure I would’ve been in a very large discouraged writing hole. love you, rika <3

tagging some wonderful mutuals as a thanks and I’m giving a big hug: @moonlight-prose @cocoamoonmalfoy @tarrenterror25 @themarcusmoreno @fleurfairie @indouloureux @ghostofskywalker @iraot @dearest-readers @fxllfaiiry @fluffyprettykitty @targaryenvampireslayer @galatially @navybrat817 @rae-gar-targaryen @saradika

Out of curiosity, what made you decide Albus was gay? I haven’t read CC so I don’t know if it was hinted there or if it’s more of a fandom theory. I’m really confused because a lot of people say they don’t believe in CC but then they put Albus in Slytherin, best friends with Scorpius, and some other things people on Reddit have said happens in CC. Are people picking and choosing what they liked from CC or is this all fandom theories? Everyone writer makes their version sound like a fact and I’m so confused what is canon and what isn’t. I always thought Albus was a fresh canvas that everyone could mold into since they hated CC, but then it seems like people are picking and choosing and then claiming their ideas are canon.

The general plot of CC is shit. Really shit in most people’s opinion. But there are some things that a majority of people like and use in their own fanfiction. Scorpius, Scorbus, Albus in Slytherin, etc.

I don’t claim any of my headcanons are canon. But I do pick and choose what I do enjoy to write about. It’s like me knowing Teddy really wasn’t raised by Hinny but I love that and I write that. I don’t claim that’s canon. It’s my headcanon. The beauty of fanfiction and headcanons is we can write whatever we like. We can take the parts we love and run with it as much as we can take the shit that we hate and dump it.

As for why I make Albus gay in my stories? I like the dynamic between Scorpius and Albus. I think they fit well together. They make me happy. It’s about putting him with someone who I think he fits best with. In my opinion, I think he fits perfectly with Scorpius. I just like it.

Not everyone ships Scorbus. There’s plenty who ship Scorose. That’s their right. Will I read it? No. Do I like it? No. But everyone is entitled to their own headcanons and to write what they want.

It’s no different than Wolfstar or Dramione or Drarry. None of it is canon. But people like it. It’s the same thing with Scorbus. Some people just like it.

People can cherry-pick aspects they like from CC to write. There’s nothing wrong with that. While most of the things cherry-picked are common amongst a vast majority of the fandom, it’s no different than the fandom just deciding Sirius’ middle name in Orion and James’ middle name is Fleamont. Or how Gideon and Fabian are twins. None of it is canon but they are popular headcanon.

I see a lot of “don’t assume your family member who has mistreated you your whole life has narcissistic traits,’’ but, like… what are you actually asking me to do instead?

There’s usually some vague statement about how “that’s just an asshole,” but… okay. I think I already knew that, but what does that label help me to think about?

Like, if it might be narcissistic traits, the questions become things like

Do you feel she often empathizes with you, or do you frequently have to explain how you see or feel about things?

When you give those explanations, are they taken seriously?

Does she seem to want or need a lot of attention, compared to others you know?

What about compared to you? Are you allowed to sometimes want the same thing?

Does she assert that she’s smarter than others or better at things, but then fail when she tries to do them herself or always have some way to get out of doing them herself? (Grandiose type)

Does she say she’s good at things but no one sees her prove it, or that she never gets the benefit of the doubt, and that people do this to her more than to others? (Vulnerable/covert type)?

If she says she’s never given a chance as others are, do her explanations for why this happens to her so often make sense, or are they vague or contradictory?

Does she say things happened that didn’t, or frequently have accounts of events you both witnessed that are very different? Does she assert that her version happened and yours is crazy or wildly off?

Does she claim to know yourself better than you do?

Does she act entitled? Does she seem to think she should get or be given things that it would be nice if others did for her, but that aren’t generally required?

When you say she did something mean or disrespectful, does she tell you you are actually the one who did it?

All of these things are more helpful than “she’s an asshole” to me, because they help me to predict behavior, or to ask myself if I should understand events as she describes them if my recollection is different.

I dunno. I’m open to the idea that the people on YouTube, like Dr. Ramani, oversimply things sometimes. I think they do, actually!

But I’m not sure why people pointing that out treat people trying to understand harmful dynamics as if they should stop doing so, or find “asshole” sufficient when there are no clear criteria for “asshole” and no clear explanations for why “assholes” do this rather than that, etc.

(I also never see anyone address that “sense of entitlement” is in the criteria. It’s so odd. People will rant until their fingers cramp up about how shitty it is that Bezos or Musk is entitled and how much harm it does, but as soon as that’s, like, tumblr user aspdmalreynolds, they are a wet cat who has done no wrong and we love them.

And I’m just like guys, unearned entitlement is bad even if the person who acts like they have it is in your fandom, come on now.)