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#cause sometimes the person seems really cool and probably goodnto get to know and who knows maybe it would work out
monster-noises · 2 years
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#monster noises#getting emails telling me people have left a new intro for me on okc are so.. conflicting#and i should really stop checking them because i never know what to do with them#cause sometimes the person seems really cool and probably goodnto get to know and who knows maybe it would work out#but also the thinking about commiting to it makes my stomach start flip flopping for.... a few reasons#and then i feel bad for ghosting on someone#being that ass hole who doesn't reply#but also technically i'm not even On there right now anymore you just can't mute your account like you can on tinder n shit#so is it really ghosting???#idk...#but regardless I Then start to think about what the fuck Else i'm gunna do to help me meet people#if i'm not going to be able to do this#cause the answer is 'make more friends and eventually someone will also want to date you that you will also like'#but that wait time and uncertainty and my complete lack of both knowing and being able to access spaces where i could meet#and make more friends that are like.. within the range of being Gay Men and Gay Men-Adjacent Folks#starts to make the yawning lonely void of the future look... a little crushing#just a little#and then i have to back out Real fast or shit starts to break down real bad#ack.. ack ack ack#i could go on about more stuff but i'm gunna run outta space so#idk... i just.. i'm tired and I wanna find a Buddy. y'know? same note on a different octave and all that..#or a harmony. a harmony would be good also#i use to many metaphors...#anyway.. i gotta go#i start full time at work tomorrow so i gotta finish my tea and head to bed#i know it's past 9 so the thoughts don't count but they do still exsist
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