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#id take her with the watch on and bun up idk!
lesbiradshaw · 7 months
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phoenix + hands because i’m gay
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strscrossed · 10 days
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if it’s for modern girl dad eren id do anything. they’d be so cute tho bc one time mikasa had a girls night out with annie, sasha, and hisu they went to a fancy restaurant and watched some idk a boyband concert reunion they collectively love way back in high school (eren is a jealous piece of meat btw) but she still proceeded to bond with her girl friends and left the girls with eren.
she came home in a messy kitchen, attempted cookie baking but more like cookie murder happened. she just sighed but thought of visiting the sleeping girls. she almost squealed in cuteness because eren is in the middle hugging his princesses to his chest, his long brown hair tied up in messy buns, braids, etc his face covered in make up and the girls are all wearing their cute princess dresses. mikasa can’t contain her happiness and snapped a photo. a photo reminding her that she’s the luckiest mom and wife in the whole universe
omg this is!!! so cute!!!
idk eren being this cookie baking, tea party having, probably learns how to knit and crochet or takes up what his daughter does makes me so!!!!
sorry i love girldadisms so much!
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heyitsyn · 4 years
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Manager!Seijoh Part 2
a/n: lmao this is kinda weird for me but i think this was an interesting request so lets try it!
for more seijoh content, check this masterlist out!
lowkey kyotani kentaro typa beat but you gotta squint (??)
also warning! angst!
anon request: Hii! I just read the seijoh manager headcannon you wrote, it made me cry so much, i love those seijoh boys so much, and you are such an amazing writer! I dont know if requests are open or not but i was wondering what would happen if the boys ever find out what happened to reader cha? If requests aren’t open or if you just don’t want to write about it, I completely understand! Thank you for your wonderful writing again! Stay safe!
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the stageplay was *chefs kiss* like MY MANS IWA WAS SERVING LOOKSSSS
soooooo
this might get really angsty idk so just a warning in advance
anyways
i mentioned in the earlier part that no one really knew what happened to you
so this one is when they DO find out what happened and what theyre gonna do about it
so first off, kyoken was basically the only one who saw you that day and saw how badly you looked
the thing is, at that current moment, he didnt really know the reason why and what happened
he had theories that you got jumped or you just got into an accident 
but he was prettttttyyyy sure you got beat up
so you went home and rushed to yanno, take a shower and get your wound treated and cleaned so that it would heal bc you really cannot afford to let the boys see that
they would think of the worst at the smallest sight of blood on you and you really didnt want to deal w that chaos at the moment
you cant let them get suspended from school since they were going to interhigh soon and you cant let oikawa and the boys ruin their reputations just for you
a first year girl theyve just met
it was kinda hard to rinse all of the milk from your hair but you were able to at least get the smell out and clean up your mess
then you looked in the mirror and saw faint handprints around your throat from that girl miyo and you cringed as you touched it
‘jesus christ, seriously what does she eat? bricks?’
after your clothes were in the wash, you went to bed to get homework done and also looking up how to use the concealer to hide your bruises 
you didnt really own any makeup but your mom has some so you could just use that
during dinner, you wore a turtleneck to prevent any suspicion from happening but you couldnt really hide the big gash on your face
‘y/n, what happened!’
‘i was dumb and accidentally fell up the stairs’
your parents shared a chuckle bc theyve actually seen you do this before so it was easy to believe the lie
‘darling, do we need to get you glasses? it seems your sight has worsened’
‘haha’
you went along with the joke but you weren’t eating and just pushed your food around
‘y/n? is the food not good?’
your mother asked but you shook your head with a convincing smile
‘its good! i just had some meat buns with the team earlier and i ate a lot so im still full’
you cursed at yourself for making it sound so rehearsed but you were relieved when your mother nodded
the next morning, you were satisfied with the reduced puffing of your face and you snuck into your parents bathroom where her makeup bag would be
as you held up the concealer, you started getting anxious because this was not the same shade as your skin and it would definitely raise suspicion if you had a different color on your neck than the rest of your body
you already planned to blame your wound as acne that you accidentally scratched but what were you going to do with the handprints?
the website you read said that it would take at least a day for them to fade
so you decided youd just wear a scarf and pretend you were cold
kunimi was confused as to why you had a scarf bundled around your neck and his eyes even widened at the sight of the bandaid on your face
‘y/n! what-!’
he shot up from his seat and your eyes widened before hissing at him to sit down
‘what happened to you?!’
he worriedly asked but you waved him off with a small smile
‘acne. this was the only available bandaid in my house so i had to work with this’
kunimi might be a lazy little shit but he was observant
and he noticed the way you said that sentence
it was like a robot
like a robot programmed to say what was written on its script
but before he could press on further, you already pointed out that the teacher was coming in and to hush so you could listen
the entire time, kunimi was awake alright, but he was too busy looking at you and a bright red thing that poked from the edge of your bandaid
kindaichi went to your classroom for lunch and you had to repeat your excuse for him but he pointed at another thing
‘why are you wearing a scarf? its like burning in here’
you didnt look at him as you just opened your bento
‘being in your period causes your temperature to fluctuate and cause unexplainable chill at even the hottest places’
okay what
they both shared a look and just shrugged, blaming it on your time of the month for the way you spoke with no emotion in your tone
this had to be the longest school day of your life
the whole time the scarf remained on and kunimi cant help but notice your flinches at the smallest of sounds
finally practice arrived and you really thought you could pull this off until oikawa barreled straight towards you and hugged you tightly
‘y/n-chan! you okay?! oikawa-senpai was so worried for you!’ 
you cringed but nodded
‘im okay, oikawa-san’
‘senpai, y/n-chan! call me senpai!’
‘im not going to feed into your kink, oikawa-san’
*cue everyone busting a lung*
‘y/n, what’s the-’
‘acne. only bandaid available in my house’
eventually, everything was fine
you were still cracking jokes w the others and you were still laughing w them so kunimi and kindaichi were at ease
but that shattered when oikawa was being oikawa and was being all touchy and bothering you about the scarf around your neck that he ended up pulling it off and he saw the marks
he was silent, just staring at them
ofc you were freaking out and you started breathing heavily
oh god he found out and he was going to hurt them
‘o-oikawa-senpai, listen, it’s not what it-’
‘y/n’
his voice made your eyes shut in fear and the others crowded around you and they all had scandalized looks on their faces
‘is this why you werent in practice yesterday?’
his voice was sharp, a complete opposite to his normally cheerful tone
you shivered and sighed
‘senpai, please dont-’
‘who is it?’
the other third years shared a look bc they were truly shook at oiks voice
‘w-why should i tell you?! its none-’
‘i am your captain and i deserve to know who is pulling you away from your managerial duties so he could just give you these damn hickeys!’
the gym turned silent
you stopped then furrowed your eyebrows
‘hickey? what-’
‘dont act like you dont know, y/n. so just be honest and tell me who’s your boyfriend’
lmao i shouldnt laugh bc this was supposed to be sad but im cackling at how dumb oikawa really is sometimes
‘i-i,,,,’
you stuttered but you knew this was the perfect opportunity
you could just blame it on this ridiculous misunderstanding 
its a difficult hole to get out of but it would be easier than the other
so you pretended to be flustered and turned around to hide your face
‘it was a one-time thing, oikawa-san. i promise it wont happen again’
HELLO WHAT
the team was leaking the feeling of RAGE
how dare someone take their manager!
she was theirs!
and it doesnt help that every player might have a little thing for you
is this really turning into a harem
oikawa kept demanding answers but iwa hit him enough to quit and they finally went back to practicing but they were still distracted
every time they looked at you, they would grow flustered and red and end up missing a block or a serve
they just cant see their baby manager like that
you noticed it quickly and irritably got on them
‘stop staring at my neck and get back to practice!’
they flinched and saluted at you
lmao this little first year girl is able to control nearly a dozen <5′10 men who are all older than her
but you were glad that they finally stopped asking about it
this was going to go by smoothly and you were going to be okay
however,,,
several days later,,,
this is an angst fanfiction so i will bring thy angst
you were taking out your class garbage since it was your group’s turn in cleaning the classroom when you were grabbed by the arm on your way back
it was still outside and after school so it wouldve been an unlikely situation that someone would help you
it was that biatch miyo again and her 2 minions behind her
then you recognized one girl from the track team who was actually a year older than you but you saw her dropping off some files in the office
if you tried to run, she could easily grab you w her fast legs
great
you were stuck
you let out a tired sigh and crossed your arms on your chest
‘what is it you want from me, again?’
she smirked
‘you really dont know how to listen, do you? i told you to stay away from oikawa but youre still flaunting around with him!’
is she serious?
this girl was borderline stalker/yandere type of girl
you gave her an incredulous look and frowned
‘girl, do you hear yourself? you damn crazy and im leaving’
but she grabbed you back and shoved you against the wall
but this time, you kicked her on the chest to make her fall on her flat booty
surprise was written on their faces and you stretched your arms in front of you to symbolize distance
‘one more step and ill beat tf out of you. i just got my nails off so id watch it if i were you’
miyo huffed and stood up, brushing herself, glaring at one of the girls who tried to help her
then she remembered what you told her
‘hmm? if you hit me, you could be kicked off of the team since you hurt another student. so, go ahead, little kouhai’
she was right
even if it was self-defense, the school’s disciplinary section sucked and just suspended or kicked off people left and right even though they didnt do anything wrong
you were stumped
you were here on a scholarship, not on tuition
your mom would KILL you if she found out you got into a fight and got a record
but you didnt show that and kept your tough facade
‘dont challenge me. i could be a crazy bitch and i dont think youd like your little face being all messed up. so watch your mouth and leave me alone’
you turned to leave but she grabbed your hair and tugged it back
lmao flashbacks to the other part
she twisted your hair into a ponytail and had a firm grip while a girl kicked you behind your knees so you would fall to the ground
oh no you were done w this
you elbowed miyo on the stomach the hardest you could and she groaned which loosened her hold and you kicked her again to the ground
some other girl hit your side and you winced before slapping her straight across the face bc you didnt want to punch her and hurt your knuckles
but they were really testing you
the last girl still had your hair but you twisted around to face her and just did the last you could think of that would hurt
hit her right between her legs
you finally escaped their hold and miyo lunged after you
‘oh my god leave me alone!’
you yelled before holding up your arms to protect your face but she scratched your arms 
obviously you were losing this bc it was just you but you were going to fight as much as you can
‘bad kouhais need to be punished! your senpais need to teach you a lesson!’
miyo screeched and you grabbed her arm before punching her straight at the boob
sorry rebecca
however, one girl was smart and did the same thing you did to her knees and made you fall to a kneeling position and eventually made you curl into a fetal position
gurl we actually fighting so hard considering we’ve never been in a fight
they continuously kicked you before miyo pulled up your head so you could sit up and kneel in front of her
ofc you tried to grab at her and punch at her
but these other girls were able to catch you and trap your arms in their hold and had their feet on your legs so you couldnt kick
great, another bathroom scene
your arms were bleeding from miyo’s scratches and your sides were hurting after their kicks
you lost and you were already bleeding in places you didnt think you would
this would be the last attempt and if he doesnt come, you’re done for
‘IIIIIIWWWWWAAAAAAAA-SAAAAAANNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!’
your scream echoed throughout the entire are
possibly could be heard in new york
and your voice became hoarse
ofc the girls were surprised and caught off guard but when there was silence and clear that no one was coming, they started laughing
‘oh, so cute! iwa-san? is that supposed to be iwaizumi-san? heh, you whoring around w him too? thats so cute-’
‘LET. GO. OF. HER. NOW.’
I GOT CHILLS
the girls holding you shrieked and dropped their hold on you before scrambling back causing you to drop to the ground
miyo’s eyes were wide and there was horror all over her face at the voice of that infamous boy
kyotani kentarou
‘WHAT THE FK ARE YOU DOING?!’
he yelled and miyo turned around to be met with his piercing eyes before screaming and running away with her minions in tow
‘YEA RUN AWAY! FKING COWARDS!’
ltr the cursing is so awkward for me to do but this is his character and im just so awkward so sorry!!
you coughed and winced at the pain on your side which caught his attention
again, he noticed you as the manager of their team and you’ve been hanging out w him, well, just him staring at you, at the alley while you feed the animals
you were actually nice and caring and definitely didnt deserve this
‘oi, y-you okay?’
you didnt look up, just closing your eyes in pain and biting your lips to not let out the crying
his eyes softened at you and he noticed you were trying to act tough and brave even though you just got beat up
normally, he wouldnt even help anyone but it seems you just did something to him
he sighed before gently picking you up, you not even bothering to stop him, and he held you tightlyin his arms as he carried you to the nurses office
he had a feeling you didnt want to be seen like this and hes been in the nurse enough to know she actually leaves the moment school ends
you let out a shaky breath as he set you down on the cot and you opened your eyes to reach your hold for him when he went away
‘n-no, don’t leave-’
but he grunted softly before holding your wrist
‘im just getting your damn medicine. chill out’
lowkey getting bakugou vibes
you nodded and went to close your eyes again
kyo returned w some pain relief medicine from his bag that he carries 
babie actually gets into fights often and he needs it sometimes
and he had alcohol medicine kind istg and bandaids for your arms
it was silent as you drank the pills and he sat down next to you so he could treat the wounds
but he let his curiosity take over him
‘why the fk did you let them do this to you’
he grunted and you scoffed with a smile
‘let? more like overpower me and grip me as they just hit me’
‘cant you fight them back?’
you glared at him
‘bruh i literally kneed some girl in their cooch but they just some superhuman typa girls that cant be hurt’
he sighed
‘maybe you just werent strong enough’
okay listen here you lil shit
you didnt want to listen to him scold you anymore so you just went back to closing your eyes
but kyo is actually lowkey nosy so he kept asking questions
‘the first time we met. was it her too?’
you flinched in surprise
‘you remembered that?’
‘ofc i did. you looked like shit. not as bad as this but still like shit’
‘gee thanks, stranger-kun’
‘kyotani,,, kentarou’
you smiled
‘nice to meet you, kyotani kentarou. im l/n y/n’
‘i know’
he mumbled but you didnt catch it
‘thanks for hearing me and coming to help’
he hummed
he wasnt going to tell you that he actually heard the scream for his idol and thought hed be there so he ran to go see him but instead saw you
kyo just respects and looks up to iwa-chan so much it warms my heart uwu-
once you were all patched up, you were finally able to stand but you still staggered
he grabbed your arm softly and sat you back down
‘what the hell are you going to tell the team?’
you paused then sighed
‘i dont know. ill figure something out’
but he knew how observant the players would be and they would catch on
after all, he was there watching at the top bleachers as oikawa yelled at you for the ‘hickey’
‘if they didnt hit your face, you could get away with it. but you have wounds all over you and theyd find out. im guessing youre doing this bc you dont want to trouble them or burden them? bc they would do something about it?’
you just stared at this guy
‘how-’
‘just a guess’
he also wasnt going to tell you that he was actually part of the team but the constant fighting got him in suspension
and the fact that his parents were donors for the school, he only got a tap on the wrist
‘so what do i do, then?’
‘tell them-’
‘no i cant do that! another plan, kyo-kun!’
‘oi, im a second year, idiot. treat me with respect’
the irony bc he totally treats oikawa like trash
‘i just,,,, oikawa-san is seen as this prince/gentleman type and i know how protective he is towards me so the slightest problem could cause him to be ballistic. miyo is popular enough to circulate rumors about him and hes already in his third year and she is too so i just have to endure one year until theyre gone’
kyo was disgusted
all this for that stupid idiot captain?
‘youre dumber than i thought’
you weakly hit him at the arm
‘so mean, kyo-san’
‘i dont think its right youre suffering for someone who isnt even worth it’
you glared and linked your fingers together
‘im the manager. i knew this would happen the moment i signed up but i didnt care. as manager, i have to keep up the team’s image and their popularity for support so i cant let all that be ruined just bc a little first year girl couldnt fight for herself’
‘just tell them, kid. less problems’
then he stood up to leave
‘kid?! im only a year younger than you! what you mean!’
but you were panicking
someone knew about you being hurt and they could easily tell the team
and it only increased when he entered the gym and later introduced himself as a player
you were so surprised that you stopped breathing
‘kyo-san,,,’ 
you muttered and he glared at you
well, more like look at you but i have a theory that kyo actually has problems w his sight so it looks like he’s glaring at you constantly but hes just actually trying to see clearly
‘yo’
oikawa was surprised at this interaction
‘eh? you know kyoken-chan?’
you nodded, still looking at the blonde
‘i-uh’
‘its none of your business’
kyotani grunted and you sighed in relief
maybe your secret would be safe
you were still uneasy about him accidentally revealing it, especially since he practically worships iwaizumi-san, but he kept his mouth shut
your caring personality at first was overbearing on him but he appreciated your efforts like volunteering on helping him with his eyeliner or asking him if he needed help with his medical tape
ngl, he also thought you were there just bc it was a team full of guys and you thought you could have that weird girl fantasy of having a harem
but you cared for them like practically a mother and continuously made it clear to oikawa that you were NOT interested in going on a date with him
you werent annoying, you were nice, and you weren’t pushy so he actually showed you respect and took a liking to you
this created a soft of protectiveness around you
sometimes, he would see you around school and he would practically glare at the girls he knew hated you
and when he wasnt there to protect you, you would call him to the nurses office where he would mumble apologies of not being there while patching you up before he would go over and threaten them to touch you again and he would bite their fingers off
aww hes so cute
ofc he still kept your secret bc it wasnt his business to tell 
until that one day
it was normal practice with you helping the boys toss the balls so they could spike it
iwaizumi spiked it really hard making you flinch and he apologized profusely after you almost fell off the chair you were standing on in surprise
‘im just angry that that damn shittykawa is the captain and is late to his own damn practice’
oikawa? late?
that was unheard of
you were about to get off the chair and look for him when the devil himself entered the gym with the devil’s mistress on his arm
miyo was holding on to his arm as he laughed at something she said and ruffled her hair
you dropped the ball and kyotani quickly moved to you so he could stand in front of you protectively
‘oi! shittykawa! youre late!’
oikawa just smiled and pointed at the girl
‘miyo-chan made us cookies, iwa-chan!’
at the mention of food, the boys ran forward but you and kyotani remained at the side at the infamous name
you got off the chair and hurriedly placed an arm in front of him
‘don’t, kyo-san’
‘the bitch-’
‘i know. but please, dont’
you begged and he huffed before aggresively wrapping an arm around your shoulder
aggressively cares for you
‘if she does something or even talks shit, i will-’
‘kyoken-chan! y/n-chan! come here!’
oikawa called but kyotani snarled at him
you smile wobbled when miyo’s eyes narrowed at you and she smirked
‘oh? your manager is so cute, oikawa-kun!’
the rest of the team was just blinking at this weird tension
kyo had his arm tightly around you and hatingly glaring at this girl, who was icily smirking at you, and you tightly holding kyo’s shirt with a worried glint in your eyes
‘you were late to your own damn practice, oikawa. stop wasting time eating this shit and go back to playing’
tbh it still shocks you at how rudely kyo talks to oikawa but you were too pre-occupied on making sure this kid wasnt going to lunge at this girl
‘a-ah, right. oikawa-san, we have to return to practice. if you excuse us, miyo-san-’
you were about to gently grab oikawa’s arm to bring him back when she grabbed your wrist and secretly gripped it
‘oh, dont be so uptight, y/n-chan! i worked so hard-’
but kyo immediately snatched her hand away from you and squeezed it as tight as he could, making her wince
oikawa noticed the pain in miyo’s face and he was angry that kyotani was hurting a girl
‘oi! kyotani!’
he shouted and pushed him away, making the team, even iwa, worriedly look at kyo and brace themselves for the beating
iwa jumped into action and held the second year back while you jumped in front of oikawa
‘kyo-san, calm-’
‘you! be quiet’
he shouted, finger pointing at you
‘and you!’
before pointing to oikawa
‘you are a shitty captain’
‘kyotani!’
iwa was just straight out confused and hes really questioning life decisions right now
mom is stressed and confused, i repeat, MOM IS STRESSED AND CONFUSED
oikawa’s eyes narrowed but he just calmly talked
‘we’ll talk about this later’
‘miyo-san, we really need to practice so if you could see yourself out’
iwa gently smiled to the girl, who was about to protest, but makki and mattsun has already pointed to the door
she huffed then turned to leave and once she was gone, iwa let go of kyotani
‘kyotani, what the hell was that’
oikawa lowly asked and you were about to put your arms out to separate them but yahaba and watari grabbed you so you wouldnt be caught in the middle
then kyo turned to you, fire in his eyes
‘either you tell him or i will’
can we just talk about how protective kyo is?
you trembled and you roughly left yahaba and watari’s grip so you could gently place your hands on his chest
‘please, kyo. just leave it, okay? remember, it’s my busi-’
‘if i see that bitch enter this gym again, i dont give a flying fuck if shes a girl. ill beat the living daylights out of her’
‘kyotani kentarou, what-!’
oikawa shouted but your glare shut him up
‘y/n-chan, what is going on’
‘n-nothing. kyo-san is just, yknow, being him. you know? okay. now lets get back to practice, everyone!’
coach irihata and the other guy sharing that look
to say the least, miyo was pissed
and when she was pissed at you, she always did what she normally does
she corners you wherever its deserted and beat you with the help of her minions who holds you down while she slaps, hits, or kicks you
girlie you needs to tell the boys youre literally getting hit and abused and im just-!!!!!!!!!
and thats exactly what she did
only this time, she wore hard-tipped shoes
‘see, y/n-chan? i saved up and got these shoes just for you!’
the minions were just sharing looks of fear and genuine sympathy for you
they were only there bc she blackmailed them with pictures doing questionable things and if they dont help, they would be released
as usual, you didnt cry, biting your lip as you winced from the pain of her kick at your side
‘youre so pathetic. how could you do this to a person? and all this for your oikawa-san? for a boy?’
you wheezed at her causing her eyes to flare
‘HAH?! SAY THAT AGAIN!’
‘i said-’
but you were cut off when she slapped the soul out of you
her ring cut you at the lip and you cringed at the taste of blood from your lip
‘what else? we gotta hurry this up, miyo, because practice started like 5 minutes ago and im going to get yel-’
‘SHUT UP!’
kyotani entered the gym after his talk with his teacher and immediately looked around for you
his honey brown eyes scanned the area and they widened as your figure wasn’t in sight
‘oi, yahaba, wheres the manager’
the boy shrugged from the side 
‘i dont know. shes late though’
oh god
‘kindaichi! kunimi! youre in the same grade right? did you see where she went after class?’
kunimi paused to remember before answering
‘she stayed after to talk to obe-sensei for the homework, that’s all i know’
that meant she stayed behind and was probably somewhere
‘SHIT!’
he shouted before bolting out the door
ofc the boys were all worried of his outburst and started yelling after him
‘kyotani!’
‘kyoken-chan?!’
they followed him, who was running as fast as he can
the girls would probably do it outside to avoid having to clean up their mess and he almost wrenched the door open in a hurry to take a lap around the school building
it was certainly a sight to see: a boy with dyed blonde hair and two brown lines followed after an entire volleyball team who were screaming after him
‘YOU-!’
he heard that bitch voice and bolted towards the back, where the dumpster was, and found you at the same position like the first time he saw you
blood was dripping on the floor from your busted lip and a cut on your cheek while your eyes were wide at the sight of kyotani’s panting form
‘kyo-!’
‘kyotani!’
your eyes watered at the sight of the entire volleyball team behind him, also eviqualiently surprised yet fuming angry
the girls who held you dropped your arms and ran for the hills so they wouldnt get caught
kyo pushed miyo aside as he grabbed you from the floor and held you
oikawa gave miyo a look that cannot even be described in words
all it was: incredibly, super, ridiculously, heatedly, furiously, angry
now multiply that by the entire team
‘hm, my father, who is the chieftain of the police, mentioned about there being jail time for even minors who commit serious acts like assault or bullying’
mattsun seethed
‘really? i think he’d like the video as evidence against kenta miyo for assault and battery, including bullying, so how many years would that add up to? nearly a decade?’
the girl miyo squeaked as oikawa and iwaizumi roughly grabbed each wrist
‘how long’
miyo trembled at the increased pressure on her wrist
‘IM ASKING YOU A FUCKING QUESTION! HOW LONG!’
iwaizumi has never shouted at a girl before and hopefully, it would be the last
‘s-s-since l-last month’
you burrowed your head in kyotani’s shirt
‘please dont’
‘shut the fk up, y/n-chan, we’re not talking to you right now’
oikawa coldly reprimanded
‘everyone, take y/n away. iwaizumi and i can take care of this. but mattsun, makki, track down those 3 girls and find others who have even touched our manager’
‘got it, boss’
if it was in a different situation, you wouldve applauded oikawa at his ability to be a leader but you were currently in pain from the bruises and the cuts all over you
your fellow first-years were angrily punching things in the nurse’s office
rip nurse in the morning when she finds holes all over her walls
the irony is, the most agressive one, kyotani kentarou, was the calmest as he quietly cleaned your wounds and placed ointment on the bruises
‘i told you so’
he mumbled and you scoffed
‘howd you find me anyways?’
‘dumb bitch yaps really loud’
he answered
no one was yelling at you and no one was saying a word
eventually, oikawa and iwaizumi entered followed by the rest of the third years
‘why. why didnt you tell us, y/n?’
oikawa asked as he sat down on the chair beside the bed
you looked down and fiddled with your fingers
‘if i did, you wouldve hurt her. and she wouldve spread rumors about you and ruin the image and reputation of the grand king and the volleyball team. i didnt want to do that to you and thought i could just endure it one year since youre graduating anyways’
iwaizumi sucked in a harsh breath
‘you wouldn’t have known what we were going to do. you are no oracle and you dont know how we are going to handle this situation. so you were really stupid for keeping these things to yourself, y/n. you may be our manager and our caretaker but let us take care of you too’
you nodded but your tears fell
‘sorry. im really sorry. i didnt meant to trouble you’
‘stop apologizing, y/n’
‘sorry’
‘y/n!’
you bowed your head low and bit your lip in guilt
‘i shouldve told you but i didnt and now everyone is troubled-’
‘we’re a team, y/n. youre not a lone wolf anymore. you have a pack standing right beside you’
watari mumbled and he sat down to give you his favorite hug: the one arm hug
‘im super angry right now and it might seem like im snappy but i really want you to know, y/n, that i really love you and i am just hurt that you didnt trust us enough to tell us you were suffering when i trust you with my entire being. so next time youre hurting or in pain, dont you dare keep it to yourself. tell us, okay? tell your senpais and friends about it so we can share that burden’
oikawa babie you are so mature like what-
what started out as a hug from watari turned into a team hug around the tiny bed, even kyo joined, and you were so happy you found a good team that appreciated you and everything youve done and accepted you as one of their own
‘oikawa-san, what did you do to miyo?’
‘again, im mad y/n-chan, so please dont talk about her right now’
‘iwa-san?’
‘dont use those puppy eyes on me! dont you dare-- okay, we’re pressing charges’
silence
‘WHAT?!’
‘and iwa-chan slapped her!’
‘WHAT?!’
‘shut up shittykawa you did too!’
‘WHAT?!’
a/n: this hurted a bit and im sorry if this was lowkey awkward and all over the place but i didnt exactly know how to portray this situation since ive never experienced this, just bullying in general, before but for those who have, please tell someone so that you dont have to carry that burden by yourself. it doesnt have to be a your parents, but talk to a trusted adult so that this type of stuff doesnt happen to you bc you truly dont deserve that type of treatment and deserve to be happy and feel safe in an environment like school or anywhere in general
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pandapupremade · 3 years
Text
Rain
SHIP: Cao Cao x Cecilia (s/i)
WORDS: 971
CONTENT WARNINGS: mentions of characters sleeping, although not described in detail ; mentions of wounds/injuries and medical attention; mentions of weapons and war ; a quick, but immediately corrected misgendering
NOTES: This is my first time writing Cao Cao, so idk if i got him right but this was fun anyway. idk when this takes place exactly, likely before the Yellow Turban Rebellion though. also, Xiahou Dun is there, although i only learned in Dw7 that he doesnt. hes not supposed ot have the eyepatch at this point but id already begun writing
Reblogs appreciated, but not required!
The rain was pouring down on the camp later in the evening, when most soldiers had turned in for the night. Admittedly, there were some who did not receive such privilege, instead required for the muddy job of guarding and keeping watch...but these unlucky souls did work in shifts, and as a result they too would eventually get shut eye for a few hours. They, too, would be offered opportunity to listen to the rain from within the tents whilst not actually getting drenched...
Men like Lord Cao Cao could not quite understand these struggles, safe and dry and sleeping within his own tent - or that's what people assumed of him. In truth, he may have more understanding than he received credit for, and he certainly wasn't sleeping right now.
The candle lit up Cao Cao's face and the table in front of him, and lit up the shape of the man alongside him; Xiahou Dun.
"You should rest, cousin," Xiahou Dun spoke, raising the eyebrow not covered by an eyepatch, "Tomorrow we move out again..."
"Indeed..." Cao Cao's fingertips stroked his bearded chin. It was clear he was deep in thought as he gazed upon the map before him, but even the relative standing near could never quite read the lord's inner thoughts. "Still, I find it difficult to rest easy..."
"Worried, cousin? That's unlike you."
"I would be a fool not to, the days before a battle...Though worry isn't quite the issue. My mind is simply insistent working, even late at night..."
"Pondering strategies, then..." Xiahou Dun gazed for a moment later, then shook his head and moved to pick up his kanabo - a large weapon that many did not have the skill nor muscles to wield. "I won't interrupt you, if that's the case."
"No," Cao Cao sighed, "Perhaps that's the very thing I require. An interruption..."
A moment of silence, and then there was the sloppy scurry of wet footsteps outside the tent.
"And an interruption you may yet receive,  cousin." The man commented dryly, as he and Cao Cao looked to the tent entrance. The flap opened, and a panicked soldier entered.
"L-Lord Cao Cao, sir, I'm terribly sorry for the intrusion,  but -"
Cao Cao stood. "What's happened?"
"A wounded civilian, sir! On the outskirts of camp!"
"What?"
"A soldier believed they were an enemy troop, sir, but they - they seem to be a merchant...They also don't seem to be from our region..."
Cao Cao's eyes opened wider, then narrowed. "Fool, did you attack on impulse? Bring this individual to me at once, and fetch a doctor, as well..."
"A-ah, y-yes sir!" Although blinking at his instruction to bring the wounded merchant to him personally,  the soldier did not argue and hurried to carry on the order.
Cao Cao sighed deeply, settling back down, although much tenser. Xiahou Dun eyed him curiously.
"...Someone you know?"
"How do you deduce that?" Cao Cao replied, shaking his head. "To answer, though, I believe it is..."
"Might I inquire?"
"You might." The lord placed his hands together on his lap. "I may be mistaken, but a foreign merchant...Such a description could fit them..." His voice trailed, but with Xiahou Dun's interested stare, he continued in a moment. "Cecilia, is her name..."
"A woman?"
"Not a woman - that's not how they view themself. Regardless, I have little doubt that they are our unexpected, uninvited visitor."
"I see...Do you have...feelings for them?"
A silence fell upon them, before Cao Cao replied with a slight twitch of the lips, before giving an actual verbal answer: "Quite the mind you have, Xiahou Dun. They are merely a merchant from the Roman lands whose empire has established ties, and thus trade routes."
"A merchant, then?" Xiahou Dun rubbed his bearded chin with further intrigue. "Well, I suppose it's good that they did not die then...Such a fiasco would definitely hurt our connections with Rome."
"Undoubtedly. In any case, Xiahou Dun. Get some rest."
Xiahou gave a half of a smile, almost teasing in nature. "Ah, of course. I'll leave you to your merchant business then, Cousin..."
........... ................
Cao Cao would soon be greeted by the army's physician, as well as the injured merchant and apologetic soldiers. He watched almost silently as the doctor worked, tending the wound and wrapping it in proper bandages. With a nod of thanks to the doctor, though said doctor seemed to want the wounded in their infirmary, he would soon dismiss them, and watch the wounded merchant on his own.
Mind you, he did not spend the time staring, and worked on writing instead. He did this in his spare time, as many knew, and figured now was as good as ever a time while his guest was resting. It wasn't until the individual began to stir, though, that he put his quill down.
"...Mmh...MMH..." They groaned softly, wincing, their black hair out of its bun slightly.
"Stay down," Cao Cao spoke, his voice stern, but with a slightly softer tone than usual. "You are injured."
"...L-Lord Cao Cao...?" Cecilia blinked slowly, "I- I'm sorry, I..."
"There is no need for such apologies." The lord frowned. However, his brow tensed a little. "However, you do understand you could've gotten killed...What were you thinking, following my troops? We are near our soon to be battlefield, and dangers from all corners could've haunted you...Consider yourself fortunate the guards missed any vitals..."
"I-I ...I was foolish..." Cecilia winced, and Cao Cao's expression softened again.
"Forgive my lack of restrain...Just..." He grit his teeth, and averted his gaze. "Please, don't do this again. If I lost you..."
"....I know, my Lord..."
More silence passed. Cecilia seemed to resume resting and Cao Cao would watch her a bit longer before returning to his writing. At least, for now, he'd gotten his mind off of strategies...
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In the Afternoon Hour
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[ID: Minimalist photo with autumn leaves above with the Lora orange text that reads “Enchant Presents: WIP #3 Tale” below  /finish ID]
A/N: I kinda had to write this short to get to know my latest WIP and characters more. So, here’s a nice story with banter, hints of poly and light angst. If somehow people become interested in this, tell me you want to be on the tag-list or something. IDK where this story’s going except yeah. . .
Here’s the first two stories of this posted here, x, x.
Note: this WIP is in the backburner atm.
Word Count: 1642
TW: food
***
Butterflies flap their colorful wings as they glide across the flowerbeds, flying along the current of the brisk wind. The squirrels chirps, running down the trees in a race for more food. The bright light of the sun bursts through the large clouds, letting most of the land be covered in sunshine. A chestnut horse runs across the meadow on it's path towards the obstacles.
On the stables, a young woman, with dark brown skin and black hair, climbs up the grey horse. Another woman of the same age watches with a languid interest. She's picking the berries out of the bowl, removing the excessive stems.
"Are you sure, you want to do this?" Aasiya asks, her voice muffled by her chewing. "You could read another book again, you know? Horse riding's far too tedious to spend time in the morning."
"And let my older sister best me again? Ha, I think not," Zonja replies, reaching for the reins. "I'm not gallant rider, but I studied enough about horse riding to understand the process. All I have to do is let the horse take the lead while trying to guide it."
"No, you have to work with the horse." Aasiya tilts her head to the side.
Zonja raises her brows. "Oh, really? How would you know that?"
Aasiya scoffs, swallowing the berry.
"Please, I spent enough time watching your brother trying to ride horses."
"Then trust me, when I tell you I have this under my control."
"Alright. I'm not going to be very happy, if you don't make it back in one piece."
Zonja huffs out dry laughter.
"We'll see about that."
When Zonja orders the horse to ride, they set out to the glades of the grassy fields. Aasiya pulls her mouth down then resumes to her snack. They're racing down the path leading to the stacks of hay. Oh dear. Even the prince tried avoiding running into any of them. The horse gallops on the stack of hay ahead as Zonja yelps. Aasiya winces. The Princess is not usually fond of riding horses, unless she wanted to try something different.
And today's that day to try something different.
After a round of jumping and crying out, Zonja returned to the stables. She pants, dropping the reins of the horse then wipes the sweat from her forehead.
Aasiya sets down the basket of books on the marble railing, waiting for her arrival. It's a good morning for riding. The clear weather provides a magnificent view for those, who wish to travel throughout the nation.
Few strands of Zonja's wavy dark curls falls out of her tied bun. She removes the helmet than fixes her hair once more. Aasiya wishes she could reach for them with her fingers and test it's softness. Whenever Zonja's hair was loose and tumbling down her shoulders, she often swoons.
Perhaps, it's an unladylike reaction but she can't contain it. Not when Zonja's true beauty is reflected in her actions and words.
Zonja dismounts from her horse, getting on the ground with a swift landing on her feet. She carries a grace that Aasiya rarely sees in the royal guests visiting the kingdom.
Being a lady-in-waiting and kitchen girl did wonders for her. Aasiya gets the cupcakes from the basket and takes off the wrapper.
As Zonja walks over to her, she turns her head from side to side.
"Where did everyone else go? Are we only the people here?" Zonja asks, sounding puzzled.
Aasiya shrugs, licking the cream off the cupcake, raising her brows at the princess. Zonja huffs a chuckle, shaking her head. It picks up her heart rate, which she wishes she can ignore and pretend it's not there.
What good will it do if she keeps feeling like this? And around the princess, it's pure non-sense because she didn't have the opportunity to ask for her hand. Besides, the princess is arranged to get married with the prince of the neighboring kingdom. It's unwise to court her now or else she'll be damned in the process.
"Good afternoon, your Highness and fair lady."
The two of them turn around to the quiet voice behind them. A young man, one with light brown skin and long black hair reaching his shoulders, bows to them. He's in a pale green embroidered tunic with riding boots.
Aasiya's stomach lurches then she forces herself to remain still.
It's Prince Lerenzo, the brother of Zonja's suitor. To be honest, she didn't understand how she's not immune to his worldly charms. While he's a prince with a spotless reputation, she still needs to maintain caution around him.
"A great morning to you too, your Highness," Aasiya replies, curtseying to him. "Although, you look rather dashing a little too early for the day. Not that I have a problem with it, of course."
The prince tucks his dark locks behind his ear and makes a silvery chuckle.
Zonja pulls a face. "Very funny, Aasiya. Ignore her, she's only being silly."
"Apologies accepted, Princess Zonja," the prince replies with all grace. He quirks a brow at her before flicking his attention back to the princess. "I'm rather not used to receiving compliments after presenting myself to the public. I'd say the gown does wonders for you, Lady Aasiya."
"Aww, pleasure's all mine." Aasiya bestows her best smile. She catches Zonja staring at her mouth until she looks back at the prince once more.
Something's lingering in the air and she can't name it. Something stiff and quiet and close to being dreadful. She doesn't understand it, she doesn't want to try either.
Oh, to be in the company of two royals would make anyone seethe with envy. Aasiya definitely didn't want to be cause for their anger. Especially since she's a girl from the countryside of the nation.
Her attention returns to the prince as he clears his throat.
"Care to join me for a cup of tea?" The prince asks, raising his brows. "I would be honored to have your company, your Highness. As well as the Lady Aasiya."
"Of course, Prince Lerenzo!" Aasiya jumps to her feet. "I'd be delighted to share some food during a cup of tea with you!"
The prince's lips curves into an inviting smile.
Something in that smile makes her chest leap with joy. How can not just one but two smiles make her feel like that? Things similar to that remain foreign to her.
"I suppose, I shall take a break after the brisk exercise," Zonja murmurs, bowing her head.
Aasiya and Zonja follows the prince as he leads them to the pavilion, where a table's set with tea and plates of desserts. Aasiya presses her stomach at the presence of pie. Hmm, someone must have prepared this ahead of lunch. While she spends so much of her time in the castle kitchen, she doesn't get the chance to eat as much as she wanted to. Only in Zonja's company, she's offered to eat in the dinner and breakfast. Other than that, she eats after her duties of the day were over.
The prince pulls two chairs back, letting them take a seat. He pours tea on the empty teacups, the minty scent wafting in the air. He takes a seat, briefly eying Zonja.
She remembers the prince staring at Zonja during the ball, where they invited royals from all over the world. Before they were properly introduced, she didn't know he's the cousin of Prince Mauro. They're displayed differences that surprised her. Unlike Prince Mauro who preferred the company of the general, Prince Lerenzo opts to be around the other members of the royal family. Especially with Zonja. She didn't know why, however, it's none of her concern.
Zonja's more than capable of taking care of herself.
With her graceful fingers, Zonja reaches for the teacup and stirs it with a spoon.
The prince picks up a teacup. "I take it your riding exercise went well?"
"No, it did not," Zonja admits with a tight grimace. "The horse didn't maintain it's speed, almost hurtling me on the grass! Can you believe that? If I had known it wasn't going to be easy to ride a horse, the first time."
"Oh, that's awful."
"Tell me about it. And to think, I'd squash my sister's record."
With a snort, Aasiya takes a sip of her tea. Usually, she's not very quiet and does participate in a conversation. However, now that's not the case. She's too busy, distracted by the taste of the tea and the warmth of the air surrounding them.
"The next time, you try to ride
Zonja nods curtly, focusing on her tea. The beam of sunlight shining on her dark eyes.
Now this is perfect, Aasiya thinks. The sky is golden like the ocean in the afternoon light and they were sharing a decent cup of tea. She revels in the domesticity of it all, wondering how she got to be here with the most delightful people she knows.
Aasiya's stomach sinks as a realization hits her. No, this can't happen at all. For her status prevents a future to happen between her, Zonja, and Lerenzo. A mere kitchen girl getting involved with not only one but two royals? It will cause a tizzy in the kingdom for sure. She can't do this to them. For she cares for them deeply in ways they can't know.
Despite that, she'll still steal chances to be with them with each one she gets. After all, she can't let the nation's rules stop her.
While the tea brews in the air, she stays seated with her companions. The glow of the afternoon shines on the other two people on table, smiling as they share an amiable chat about the day. Aasiya's certain to enjoy this moment after storing it in her mind's memories.
***
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daaziscoolbesties · 3 years
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i yearn for one(1) thing only, and that is to have a nice, simplistic, cartoonish artstyle. an artstyle that doesnt rely on anatomy, but the "movement" of the drawing, if you get what i mean.
i dont want realistic proportions and traditional colors and basic poses and gradient shading, i want funky lil dudes in funky poses with funky styles littering my sketchbook :( but alas i havent figured out how to develop that kind of style yet, my brain wants anatomy to look nice but also i dont want to draw eyes. i dont want to take time out of my day to learn how to draw lips i want to draw a line that extends past the characters face. i dont want all my characters to have pointy chins with curved cheeks i want their heads to be round and friend-like or full of sharp edges depending on their personalities and styles. i want to give them all not-quite human ears, blob feet, simple faces, but at the same time i want enough detail to convey the story or emotion im trying to tell.
ive spent so much time recently agonizing over how to use 3d model websites, using real-life references and tracing over them for practice, color-picking from real images to try and do realism and failing miserably, but you know whats easier than that? funky little dudes. little dudes who do not care if their legs are too long or their hair is too bouncy. i dont want my characters to look human.
ive spent enough time on the artfight website to realize that most people who classify their characters as "human" have the most basic ass designs (no offense to people who like basic human designs its just not my thing) or its like dnd-medieval style outfits which i cant draw for the life of me (ive tried). again no offense to people who actively enjoy and draw characters like that. i just need my dudes to have that certain,,, off-ness to them. tails are cool. wings are swag (especially if they arent even like,, fully attached,, ), elf ears are so wonderful to me no matter how much theyre overused, horns are so much fun to draw, and colors!! i have no knowledge in the color theory department so this works great for me!! the only thing i really know is dont shade with black, other than that i just colorpick from references usually but i dont want to do that!! i want the colors to hurt people's eyes but in a satisfying way. like the character's design is so nice to look at that you dont mind your eyes hurting a bit. like how im enjoying writing this post even though its 2 am and the brightness on my computer wont go any lower.
and then another thing ive noticed from being on the artfight website is that a lot of people classify their characters that are anthro/have anthro features under humanoids/monsters. like i made a google form to find some people to attack and someone sent me in a character with some sort of animal (wolf? idk) arms and legs. like dude!! peak character design i love her. but me personally? i cant draw that shit, its so hard for me. i tried a while back and its just Not my thing. nothing against furries i just. cant. and i dont want to either.
and i got another submission that i accidentally deleted that was like full anthro/wolf-like like my comrade,,, i cannot draw animals what makes you think i can draw an animal who acts like a human lmao. i can do like. very basic tails, and also animal ears but i cant do the arms and legs and such i just dont know the anatomy, and i know i was talking about how i dont want to care about anatomy but i feel like for anthros you really do need to know at least basic animal anatomy so you know how the limbs look and shit and i dont have that knowledge and dont feel like gaining it.
and then there were some submissions that i absolutely adored. there was one that like, was vaguely human shaped but definitely was not a human. they had a dark-ish lavender colored skin and horns and tusks and like goat ears and a sorta fluffy tail with spikes on it and they had wings and such and they were such a pleasure to draw i love them. and they had a fairly simple outfit too, nothing too complicated. and then i also enjoy object head characters, theyre so neato to me. i got one of those and i really wish i had the motivation to work on it cause it looks so fun.
i want to make funky characters but id have nothing to do with them because the only book i ever tried writing (key word tried - never got past planning it out) had strictly human characters in it, and most of the books i read are humans/humans with powers in situations specific to them so id have no idea what lore to make with the dudes. assuming i have the motivation to make lore and backstory because honestly i just really enjoy character designing its super duper fun.
(side note a song about trucks doing the deed came on just now and its interrupted my flow, apologies).
i only have three actual characters right now. one is an original roleplay oc whos design is literally athletic shorts, an oversized long sleeved grey sweatshirt, long purple hair, and demon horns. the second one is my persona whos design some sorta medival knight outfit kinda thing? but not ugly it looks really cool (idk one of my friends designed it bc i won some contest from him but the drawing was on a super small scale so idrk the details,,,) with a plague doctor mask and crown, and shoulder length wavy brown hair, dyed bright pink at the end. and then my last one im not too comfortable using other places because theyre a character my friend is using in the story hes writing, and thats really the only place theyve been used. but theyre easily my favorite and im already writing a ton so ill talk about them too.
they're a sorta elf species thing from another planet, with pale green skin and pointed ears. they also have a tail, its like,, super thin, but with a feathery bit at the end. probably not the texture of a feather but i dont know how else to describe it. they have short, curly, almost-draco-malfoy-blonde hair that when it gets too long they can put in a man bun. their eyesight is kinda shitty so when they got to earth, they were exploring some supply closets around the airship. drop off area. thing. like airport but for rocketships and also fancier. yeah. they were exploring that area and found a nice big pair of round glasses with grey frames. and they also found a cowboy-style hat and a sharpie so they wrote their name on the underside of the brim of the hat and stole the hat and glasses (but left the sharpie in the supply closet).
yeah theyre my favorite, my absolute beloved, my child, so cool. i want more characters like them but with maybe a bit more snazzier designs. theyre super cool and all but they could have more pizzazz if they werent in a story where its too late to give them more pizzazz. i just want to be able to give my characters thigh-high boots with a bunch of buckles and fluffy hair with tons of accessories crammed in and abnormally large and long ears that can harbor many piercings and horns that can hold rings on them and special little details on their outfits like who knows what but i dont have any characters to do that too, so i have to make them from scratch, which is always hard especially when you have artblock.
and i also have like 17 characters i need to fully draw, line, and maybe color for artfight before august 1st. so i dont know. i have many things to do and plenty of time to do it but instead i spend my time halfway watching repetitive youtube videos that get boring or sleeping all damn day because i stay up too late doing things like this or i just do nothing at all and its tiring and frustrating but i also feel nothing about it like theres no consequence if i dont do it besides you know. not doing it, not gaining that experience, not making something i enjoy.
so i should do it but i dont for whatever reason, i think its called executive dysfunction but im not sure. this post started out very differently than it ended and i said somewhere up there that i was writing this at 2 am but now its almost 3. this is so many words why couldnt i have put this energy into something productive
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xxcureangelxx · 3 years
Note
5, 9, 10, 13, 20, 21, 24, 25, 28, 30-35, 38-42, 44-46, 50, 52, 54, 60-62, 66, 71-74, 86-91, 96, 100! 😊
okay I literally have no clue how old this is and if I'm even taking the questions from the right post but here goes I guess? 🙈
<u>5. What is your favorite Color?</u>
PURPLE
<u>9. How tall are you?</u>
about 1,70 meters or 5'7"
<u>10. What shoe size are you?</u>
size 40-41, I think that's about 8 in US sizes?
<u>13. What talents do you have?</u>
uhhh good question... not sure if it counts but I guess I'm quite good at a lot if things but can't do anything extraordinarily well?
<u>20. Are you religious?</u>
Absolutely not. Due to family history and a lot of other things I'm actually against it a lot but people can do whatever they feel like is right for them as long as they don't harm others with it.
<u>21. Have you ever been to the hospital?</u>
Yes, quite a lot actually. practically grew up in hospitals as a baby because of kidney issues, broke both my legs with 4 years old, had to revisit for tests a lot during my childhood because of the kidney issue. it calmed down afterwards until I was back in hospital last year because of my terrible mental health and I'm currently in a rehabilitation clinic for it as well.
<u>24. Baths or showers?</u>
Shower's because we don't have a bathtub
<u>25. What color socks are you wearing?</u>
currently none, I love going barefoot, but usually I wear white, gray or black. I know... I'm a bad gay.. no rainbow socks (;ŏ﹏ŏ)
<u>28. What type of music do you like?</u>
you know.... I hate this question with a passion even though I love music so I'll just throw in my yt-playlist here and everyone who's interested can look through it to get a picture xD not sorted in any way and not a conclusive list at all, I just add songs as I find them
<u>30. How many pillows do you sleep with?</u>
mostly just one at a time but I've got two different ones. one is the normal fluffy kinda pillow, the other is made of some kinda foam material and rather thin.
<u>31. What position do you usually sleep in?</u>
I'm always lying on the side! have been doing that since I was a baby too.
<u>32. How big is your house?</u>
compared to what? 🙈 I'd say decent size for 5 people to live in, would have space for 1-2 more if rooms were used differently but definitely not enough to comfortably live with 12 or even more people like my family used to. we've got like 3 proper sleeping rooms (one of which is the attic so not very nice in terms of heat and the staircase is smack in the middle of the room), a kitchen, a dining room, a big living room, a tiny bathroom that barely fits a toilet and shower, and the basement is a mix of storage, electrics and stuff, washing room/utility room and it's got another smaller room that's been turned back into a small workshop but used to be the room of my brother and later my grandmother.
<u>33. What do you typically have for breakfast?</u>
I guess this is where it shows that I'm german but we usually just eat bread (preferably whole grain) with cheese or slices of salami or ..meat sausage? is that a proper translation? 🤨 idk... it's rather simple really. on the weekend maybe buns and boiled eggs. on the occasion that I'm too tired for it or don't have enough time I eat cereals but it's not very common when I'm at work/school
<u>34. Have you ever fired a gun?</u>
No, and I don't want to
<u>35. Have you ever tried archery?</u>
Yes!! I did last year when I was in the hospital and it was super fun! was quite good at it as well, even for my first try 😤
<u>38. What's the longest you've ever gone without sleep?</u>
I think about 3 days? if we count "barely unconscious for a few hours" as sleep that is... otherwise no clue...my memory of the bad sleepless time is quite hazy lol
<u>39. Do you have any scars?</u>
yeah, quite a few tbh. got 2 huge ones from surgeries due to my kidney issues, well they look like 2 but it's actually multiple ones since they simply cut open party of the old ones again, tiny hooman apparently have very little skin. then I got some other ones here and there from accidents, general dumbness, etc, like when I cut through my sunday morning bun and almost cut half of the tip of my finger off because my mother sharpened the knife and didn't tell me or that time as a kid I couldn't wait for my ironing pearl pictures to be done and burned myself on the hot iron, mostly stuff like that.
<u>40. Have you ever had a secret admirer?</u>
I mean.. if they're a secret... how would I know? ;) not sure if it counts that it took me months to realize I had a crush on my best friend and the feelings were reciprocated and I was too blind to see the signs?
<u>41. Are you a good liar?</u>
Nope. People actually think I'm lying more often than I lie... so.... :/
<u>42. Are you a good judge of character?</u>
I'm.. honestly not sure what this one means? like, am I able to judge what kind of character a person has after barely meeting them or smth? if so, I'm terrible at it
<u>44. Do you have a strong accent?</u>
in german? nope. in english? hmm hard to judge since I rarely hear myself speak. I think the stuff I do know how to pronounce is mostly okay but since I learned it through reading I'm simply unsure of a lot of pronunciations. 'also'.... I can not for the life of me pronouns that word no matter how many times I hear it... it's kinda become a quirk after some classmates pointed it out to me and I'm incredibly aware how terrible I say the word but.... just can't get rid of it ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
<u>45. What is your favorite accent?</u>
I.. actually really love the way my best friend talks? 👉👈 they're french btw. just... typical me for struggling to understand them though, already terrible at it in german too...
<u>46. What is your personality type?</u>
honestly, I don't think I can answer that. I'm big on self loathing and everything's pretty shitty so, no thanks
<u>50. Left or right handed?</u>
Right handed. but does it even count id I'm bad at doing things with that hand too? lol
<u>52. Favorite food?</u>
hmmmm tough question... not the biggest fan of food in general a lot of the time... probably Züricher Geschnetzeltes
<u>54. Are you a clean or a messy person?</u>
Definitely messy. my allergies did not like this post trying to clean and tidy up more often though. my depression does not like this post either
<u>60. Do you talk to yourself?</u>
sometimes. quite a bit when watching movies or if I mess stuff up
<u>61. Do you sing to yourself?</u>
barely. got a lot of bad experiences with that so i keep my singing to a minimum. my shower is a great listener though
<u>62. Are you a good singer?</u>
I was in a choir for a few years when I went to 'middle school' and I had like one solo part once but other than that I can't really say because I barely ever sing in front of people
<u>66. Do you like long or shor hair?</u>
this question is currently my absolute nemesis.. I've got suuuper duper long hair and have had it ever since elementary school and I used to be super happy with it and sometimes I still am happy with it but other days, depending on where I'm at genderwise, I absolutely hate it and I just want to take the closest scissors and cut it all off... currently haven't had the guts to look for new hair styles though... but in other people? or women more specifically? I love long hair 🥺
<u>71. What makes you nervous?</u>
Or the shorter question: what doesn't make me nervous... I'd say pretty much everything has got the potential to make me nervous. I'm an overthinker, anxiety is a big thing for me and ptsd makes me scared of almost everything. so.. yeah... sucks to be me sometimes ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
<u>72. Are you scared of the dark?</u>
Yes, very
<u>73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes?</u>
I try not to but sadly I sometimes do, even if it's not my place to. I really don't like that part and hope I'll be able to learn not to sometime
<u>74. Are you ticklish?</u>
Yes and I hate it 😭
<u>86. What are you allergic to?</u>
again, easier question: what am I not allergic to... it's... a lot... like, really a lot. with the test on the skin of my arm I reacted to every single substance and the more thorough blood test lead to much of the same result. the absolute worst are birch trees (pitty, love those), then the usual pollen of pretty much every tree or flower, all animals with fur or feathers, dust and... yeah list goes on and on, you get the picture... :/
<u>87. Do you keep a journal?</u>
no.. have tried to multiple times in the past but never made it more than a week... too depressing to write and read... the therapist at the rehab clinic is currently forcing me to try a positivity diary for the millionths time, can't even get that done each day even though I'm doing it on my phone and get notifications to do it each evening...
<u>88. What do your parents do?</u>
making my life hell lol.. okay on a serious note, my father was a car electrician, he's retired by now, my mother is a housewife, she used to work different jobs before her first kid, later on she took care of my grandmother who was suffering from dementia, got some money and retirement points for that too.
<u>89. Do you like your age?</u>
I-... I don't know? it's weird because I both feel a lot younger and a lot older than I am rn....
<u>90. What makes you angry?</u>
another tough question... I actually have anger issues in that way that I'm barely capable of feeling anger... used to be worse but I already worked a lot on it in therapy so there's at least some there now... in the past I simply started to cry and felt overwhelmed by sadness whenever I was supposed to feel anger... so I can't tell very well what makes me angry because I first have to realize that I'm feeling anger or more like should be feeling it....
<u>91. Do you like your own name?</u>
Not really, no, but I guess I finally figured out some reasons why.. I've recently started going by a bit of a different name too but only my closest friends know so far and I'm not sure if I'll be using it irl at all..
<u>96. How did you get your name?</u>
I'm still trying to get my mother to admit that she named me after this song but she keeps denying it.. she's a fan of this band so it would have fit.. but she keeps saying she just liked the name, no long thought process behind it..
my chosen name is a bit of a different story. an ex friend I got to know through yt gave me that nickname almost 10 years ago after I complained that you can't make a shorter nickname out of my birthname and it's also the name of s character I like, especially his voice, and... idk it just feels more gender neutral and I simply feel comfortable with it. it just fit.
<u>100. Color of your room?</u>
same as question 5: Purple 🥰 or... well half the walls are purple, the other half is white
phew... can't believe I made it through all of these....
in case people haven't noticed yet, I'm currently kinda getting back into tumblr? I think I've already stayed a lot longer than any times I tried getting back before. it mostly started because we've got super bad wifi at the clinc I'm at rn and reddit takes up waaayy too much mobile data and... idk, I guess I just missed the vibe of tumblr
I'm not sure how long I'll be able to stick around but we'll see
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mavy1 · 4 years
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Id love to hear bout your ocs! Idk where to start, so what are the basics of them?
AAHH OKAY!! I’ve posted some things about them before (you can fine pretty much everything under #my ocs) but I’d love to give a rundown of there current development!!
Horatio “Theo” Goldenbough - 22, he/him. Theo is  around 5’8” or 5’9” with a slighter build, thick, very curly, deep reddish-brown hair, warm, medium brown skin and freckles, and deep brown eyes. As a child, his mother used to tell him stories of all the places she had been - their people, their cultures, their legends and magic. He knew one day he had to see them for himself. But when his mother died, things changed for him. He began to develop anxious and nervous tendencies, worried for himself but especially for his younger sister, who in his mind didn’t seem to understand how dangerous the world could be, or how to take care of herself. Growing up he did everything he could to look out for and take care of her, and when his father was injured he took on even more responsibility. He spent most of his free time studying, hoping that one day he would be accepted as an alchemy student. When he was 17, he was given the opportunity to study and apprentice to an alchemist at a prestigious university in a neighboring kingdom. It was incredibly difficult for him to leave his family, but Evelyn assured him she would stay out of trouble and look after herself until he returned. Though he got along fairly well with his classmates, who appreciated his humor and caring disposition, he often felt rather lonely, because he didn’t have much in common with them beyond a surface level. While his classmates were ambitious and driven he always knew that he would eventually return home and likely end up losing contact with most of them. His apparent lack of ambition was a source of frustration for his professors as well, who knew that he could be a truly great magician one day if he applied himself, but they were unable to convince him his studies were more important than his family.  Once he finished his apprenticeship he returned home, where he reopened his mother’s old shop, creating potions for the townspeople. After returning home he only felt more pressure to care and provide for his family, and to try and control his sister who, while she had kept her promise to behave in his absence, was becoming increasingly restless. He sees the safety of his family as his responsibility, and that responsibility often weighs heavily on him. Theo’s naturally curious nature is often at odds with his learned cautious behaviour, and while he tends to overthink every decision he has to make for ages before making it, he sometimes ends up acting rather impulsively anyways in the end. Similarly, while he tends to be very anxious, fearful of most everything in one way or another, years of experiencing and dealing with these fears have left him somewhat desensitized to them
 Evelyn Goldenbough - 19, she/her.   Evelyn is around 5”1-5”2, with a heavier build. She, like her brother, has curly hair which she usually dyes - red, pink, gold - whatever colour she can get her hands on really. She has brown skin somewhat darker than Theo’s. She was a rambunctious and energetic child who always seemed to be getting into trouble of some sort, but never anything too worrying. She was only 5 when her mother was killed, and has few distinct memories of her. After her mother’s death, her father was much more watchful and strict with her, especially after she began to show some natural magical abilities. Her father seemed to think that the best way to ensure her safety was to keep her close, and so took her to the blacksmith’s forge with him after her mother’s death. As a teenager, she began learning his craft herself. She’s fairly good at the work, and enjoys working with her hands, but the life of a blacksmith seems boring to her. She knows the work is important, but she longs to do something that could really help people in need. Learning of the hardships beyond her own little world leads her to believe her time could be better served somewhere where she can do more than hustle gold from greedy traders and free the animals kept in their cramped cargo holds. When Theo leaves for school, she promises him she won’t go looking for trouble while he’s away, and she keeps her promise. For three years she dutifully looks after her father and their forge, but all the while she grows more and more restless. When her brother finally returns, she barely manages to convince herself to stay in her hometown. But she loves Theo more than anyone, and the thought of leaving him alone forever to take care of things while she ran off to find her place in the world would not only make her look incredibly ungrateful and selfish, but she would never be able to stand the sadness and guilt it brought her. Still, she yearns for a purpose in life, a way to make the world a little better in a way she feels truly matters.
Luca Mertillot - 23, he/him.  Luca is  around 6’, and years of hunter training have given him a lean, muscular frame. He has silvery grey hair which he wears in a bun, the sides of his head shaved (this is the traditional style for initiated members of his hunter pack), a fairly pale complexion which has darkened somewhat over time as he spends most of his life outdoors, and hazel eyes. He was born the only son of the chief of a small village, but was separated from his family when that village was attacked and pillaged by a small band of sorcerers. He was found and rescued by an unfamiliar woman, a member of the hunter group known as the Wyverns who had been pursuing the sorcerers in hopes of capturing them. The Wyvern pack took him in and raised him as one of their own. He trained from childhood, learning to fight, track, and fend for himself in the harsh elements of his home territory, to become a full member of the hunter pack, who track and apprehend dark sorcerers, and at the age of 16 swore an oath of loyalty to his pack, initiating him into its rank. He understood his oath of loyalty to mean dedication to his cause, and not simply dedication to his pack, which eventually would lead to a major disagreement between himself and his pack leader - when news reached them that a dark sorcerer in the west was gathering forces and power to begin a siege of neighboring lands, he believed it was their responsibility to stop him, while his leader assured him that disputes outside their territory were not their concern, and that he should focus on his responsibilities to his pack. Eventually, however, this grew beyond a simple disagreement, and after an incredible fight, Luca left his pack to search for help elsewhere. Doing so caused him great pain, they being the only family he could ever remember having, and to defy his oath being highly dishonorable. He knows that whatever happens now, he will never be able to return home.
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hazzastylesfanfics · 4 years
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Part 2/?
still testing the waters with this but i think it’s starting to shape into something i like?
idk
i’ll do longer parts if people are interested!
lemme know :-)
I curse whoever decided that glass doors were a good idea and weigh my options. I could fully ignore him. It’s not like I’d made eye contact with him. Twice. I could also act like an actual adult and go to the door. Opening 10 minutes early wouldn’t be the end of the world.
I finally move my body cemented in place towards the door. He flashes that damned smile at me causing me to trip and drop my keys. Even on my best days I can barely hold my shit together. I give him a little wave, place the keys into the lock, turn, and crack the door.
“We’re not open yet,” I blurt out. Apparently my lips decided to not consult my brain before speaking. Of course he knows we’re not open, Grey. The front door is literally locked. Idiot.
The corner of his mouth rises into a smirk. “I was passing by and wanted to stop in for another small coffee.”
“At 5:45 in the morning?” He can’t be serious. I’m not falling for the “just passing by” trick.
“Yeah, I try to go on a run every morning.”
I realize how stupid I look then, shielding myself with the door and a blank expression on my face. So he’s not stalking me. Plenty of people run through the Pearl in the mornings, apparently he is one of them. I really need to get my head straight.
“Right. Sorry, uh come on in.” I pull the door open wide enough for him to walk by me. True to his word, he’s in running gear. I notice his arms are glistening slightly. God, look at those arms. A ship inked onto his left bicep catches my eye. Does this guy have a nautical thing going or something?
He slides by just close enough for me to get a smell of his aftershave. He smells incredible. This is a joke. Not only does this guy look unfairly enticing after a run, but he even smells good. I shake my head in an attempt to chase away the dirty thoughts running through it.
“Er, I haven’t brewed drip yet so it’ll be a minute or so. Is that okay?” I hurry behind the counter as he stops at the register.
“That’s fine. I can wait.”
“Cool, cool,” I mumble.
I feel his eyes burning into my back as I grind the espresso beans and toss them into a filter. I press brew above the empty container and watch a steady stream of coffee pour into the open top.
“What’s your name?” He asks conversationally. I turn to face him. He’s casually leaning on the front counter, fidgeting with the merchandise sitting on it.
“It’s Grey.”
With amusement in his eyes, he meets mine. “Like the color?”
If I had a dollar for every person who’s asked me that over the years I would have enough to legally declare grey was no longer a color.
“Yeah, I guess.” I scrunch up my nose for a moment. “It’s more like my parents partied too much and smoked a lot of weed and thought Grey was a perfectly suitable name for a human being.”
That earns me a laugh from him. “I like it. Very moody.” He winks.
“Thanks.” I look down at my twiddling thumbs. “Uh, what’s yours?”
“Harry,” he says.
“Like what’s on your head?” The words escape before I can stop them. I can feel my ears redden at my idiotic joke. He chuckles softly.
“Something like that. It’s fairly boring if you ask me.”
“No booze and drugs involved?” We both laugh. The beep of the brewer behind me indicates it’s finished. “You said a small, right?”
“Whatever you’d like to give me,” he says coyly.
I give my head a little shake. I fill a 12-ounce cup to the top, remembering he likes no room, and snap the lid on. I spin around and nearly drop his coffee in the process. He’s leaning as far forward as he can on the counter, arms extended in front of him with his hands clasped. My eyes trail along the curves of his arms for a second, fantasizing about them pinning me down to this very counter and-
“So what are you doing when you get off?”
“Get off?” He matches my puzzled expression. “Oh! You mean work.” I mentally kick myself. Get your head out of the damn gutter, Grey. “I’ll probably just go home and take a nap. That’s usually what I do on the days I open.”
“Not much of a morning person?” He takes a sip of his coffee. I can’t help but watch his lips wrap around the lid. My thoughts wander to his lips to what else he could wrap them around.
“I despise mornings,” I agree. “Days shouldn’t start before 10 a.m. if you ask me.”
“Sounds like you’re in the right line of work then.” He smiles. How am I just noticing the deep dimples that indent his face when does? They paint the perfect illusion of youth.
“I’m good at it.” I shrug. “It’s an easy job anyway. Tips are good.”
“Speaking of, how much do I owe you?” He reaches for his wallet.
“It’s on the house.” I smile.
“If it’s because I came before you opened then I can wait until the register is ready or whatever,” he reasons.
“No, no it really is fine.” I glance at the clock on the iPad. “We’re open now anyway.”
“I insist.”
“It’s a dollar seventy-five; I think we’ll be alright.”
“Let me pay you back tonight then?” He peaks over the top of his coffee as he takes another sip, looking hopeful. “Drinks?”
“Uh-” I bite my lip. Did this guy really walk in here with the intention of asking me out or is fate throwing me a sympathy bone? “I can probably do that, yeah. What time?”
His expression relaxes. “Whenever works for you. I can pick you up at your place or you can swing by mine? Do you live around here?”
“My apartment isn’t far from here. There are some bars within walking distance of it if you just wanted to meet me at mine?”
“Sure, just send me the address.” He pulls his phone out and hands it to me across the counter. I take it and type my phone number in, adding it to his contacts. Grey, (like the color), I add.
“Here you are.” I hold his phone out to him. Our hands brush momentarily and every nerve in my body ignites. They’re soft. His hands are really soft. “You better not ghost me.” I laugh.
His eyebrows shoot up and a look of exaggerated shock takes over his features. “I would never.” He laughs along with me. “Do I look like the type of lad to do that?”
The door opens and two of my morning regulars walk in before I can answer. He glances over his shoulder and then back to me.
“Looks like that’s my cue.” I smile apologetically.
“See you tonight.” His eyes twinkle like two stars I could get lost in.
As he’s leaving I notice a five-dollar bill in the tip jar.
“I look terrible in absolutely everything, oh my god!! Why do I even own half of this shit!” I fall facedown on my bed next to Lana.
“Shut up, babe you’ve looked hot in everything you’ve put on,” she assures.
“You’re a fucking liar and you know it.” I sigh. “It’s easy for you to say considering you look good in everything you wear.”
“Not true.” She stands and walks to my wardrobe. “What about this?” Lana pulls out a midi, light grey silk dress.
I sit up. “Don’t you think a slip dress is a bit...much?” I scrunch my nose up. “I don’t even know if this is a date.”
The texts Harry and I exchanged throughout the day were short and simple. He never explicitly said the word “date” nor did he really flirt much. It made me feel anxious.
“You said yourself you didn’t want this to be a date,” she responds.
“That’s not what I meant. I just- You know how it is.”
She sighs. “Sometimes Grey? I really don’t. C’mon, this gorgeous guy is clearly into you and you’re gonna play these stupid games with him? He could actually be a decent guy, ya know. Can we also talk about the fact that he’s fucking British? How often do you find that in Portland?”
“Not interested.” I take the dress from her hand and hold it up to my body, observing it in the mirror on my wardrobe door. It really is a pretty dress. I’ve only worn it a handful of times but it’s done wonders for me every time I have. I could toss a white tee over it and knot it to tone it down a bit. Sandals would also help. I undress and let the silk fall over my body. I forgot how it hugged what little curves I have just enough to hint at them.
Lana’s eyes narrowed in approval. “That. You have to wear that. Remind me why I’ve never borrowed it again?”
“Because you were gifted with an ass and I wasn’t?” Envy consumes me. Lana had this perfectly curvy body that genetics would never allow me to have. She constantly switches between hating it and loving it.
“Oh right, that.” She frowns. “So you’re really not gonna give this Harry guy a chance?”
I pull a white tee out from my drawer and pull it over my head. After fussing with the knot for a minute, I settle on one I like. “What do I even do with my hair?” I ignore her question and walk down the hall toward my bathroom.
She follows and perches on the edge of the bathtub. My tiny bathroom barely fits us comfortably. “Grey, seriously. Maybe it’s time to open yourself up again.”
I pause with my hands holding up my hair in a simple, low messy bun. I pull a few strands of my bangs out to frame my face. Not liking what I see, I drop it in frustration and run my fingers through my loose brown curls. Maybe I could just wear it naturally. Except I hadn’t washed it from my shift this morning and it smelled of coffee. I sighed. Naps are great until I sleep the day away. Back to the bun it is.
“I like the bun,” Lana comments.
“Is my makeup too like-”
“Come fuck me makeup?” She finishes for me.
I laugh lightly. “Not exactly how I would have put it but, sure.”
“You look hot, babe. If I was Harry I would most definitely have that dress on the floor by the end of the night.”
I bite my tongue through my teeth and smile. “That’s the goal.”
We walk back to my room so I can find shoes and my purse. I check my phone for the time and see I’ve missed a call and two texts from Harry.
Sorry if you’re not ready. I’m a bit early.
Then, 10 minutes later.
Should I come up or wait for you down here?
“Oh shit, he’s early.” I dash around my room looking for my ID and grab a bundle of cash from the vase I keep my tips in. Lana is laying on my bed absentmindedly petting Charlie. She’s curled up on my pillow - her favorite place. “You can stick around as long as you want but I can’t guarantee what will be happening in here later.” I smile devilishly.
“Thanks for that, Grey,” she replies sarcastically. “I’ll head out after you two are gone. Sure you don’t want me to tag along as backup?”
“Yeah and have you flirt with him the entire night? I’ll pass.” I fluff my hair once more in the mirror and make sure my lipstick is in place.
“I’m just saying, I would give the boy a chance so maybe you should too.”
“Right, uh-huh.” I’m already halfway to the front door.
“Be safe!” I hear as the door clicks shut behind me.
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odechambeau · 4 years
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There’s not a super lot of Odette content known so I’m gonna go over the quiz and provide details too!
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It’s one that Emily gave her when she was a child. I’ve had the image of her leaning on her hands and knees over it, just watching the music box spin. Hmnnn I know I liked the thought of it being a glass piano like this, but in my mind it’d been a carousel. One with horses that go up and down as it twirls... could have more than one but hmnnn. It’s an old thing by now, but she still enjoys it greatly. Might also play that Sing Sweet Nightingale son g, or whatever Emily sung/hummed to babies. I’m positive she has all of those mentioned above though.
Recently had the image of her picking it up and dusting it off too. Like by all means let servants take care of cleaning, but ,, not this. This she will care for alone. 
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I’m glad you all got light blue like! When I first imagined Odette, there was this picture in mind. She’s been almost yearning for blue hair since. I think it’s something that needs to be more awakened in her though? Like ah, people actually do have those colored hairs? And I like the idea of her getting it dyed as an adult! I have many pictures on pinterest with different shades of blue that she likes: 1, 2, 3, 4, 
Speaking of hair, bangs are the bane of my existence, and Odette hates being compared to Adora so like I think she wears her hair higher now? and parts her hair the opposite way of adora, kinda like Kaoru and Hikaru! I go ah though because she super vibed at this, so perhaps it’s a little straighter at the top and then spiral curls. She likes this and this too. She really won’t tell me if it’s older her thoug h, because adult her kinda vibes t o o. especially with twin buns and things so g e h.  I gotta try and draw her again but shhh
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She was gonna li e, but thought she could trick even more if she didn’t!! Haha~ Unfortunately it was unsuccessful, but perhaps next time ! 
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She’s not the best at being thoughtful or anything but she gave Theodore one once in winter for his room. He can have a beautiful plant indoors now!! Not that they don’t have many more too probably but!! She just resonates with the light purple and light blue colors. She gave it to him but not because it was her favorite. At least doesn’t feel that way? Big shrug! Probably didn’t know what to pick! Anyways, think Abel’s papa gave her one too and she ah,, She liked it. Though perhaps she did want to share it with him. But this was before she liked him so shusH.
Originally what I imagined was Adora being pink and her being blue and like. aesthetic! Learned more about Adora now and her wearing blue cuz Nathaniel likes it and she go w e h, but light purple is a close second to the colors she adores. Pink and purple is still aesthetic so it’s f i n  e. shehufftho. 
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So she agrees that she’s grown out of her clumsiness, and I know she has! And I’m proud! Stepping on Theodore’s foot was like a fluke because!! He distracted her. But I have very clear visuals of her tumbling into things as a child. I also had the image of her literally bumping into Nathaniel once, idk why. and then she just blink. I wouldn’t be surprised if she fell backwards too though. She just baby. Part of me feels like she might have lil baby tears though owie,,
Anyways she is still quite shy on the inside. Umn, she seems to have outgrown it, yes? That is what she’d been working on the most, as it is one of the traits her parents disliked most about her! But,,, it’s just who she is honest l y. If she’s in a group, she feels little need to speak. She’d let Adora go on, or anyone else to speak in her place. But if you’re one on one with her she can find things now to speak of but,,, She doesn’t like strangers. She trusts little to anyone, especially since her parents are trash and the servants are loyal trash to them. All but one servant, perhaps. Though I’ve had the image of a servant that’s kinda ?? idk b a d at their job, or just very ehhhh clumsy/shy??? Idk but I’d like to replace them with Abel. Who is good at his job and just baby!! She thought he reminded her of herself when she was younger. But she doesn’t hate him for it even though she hated herself for it??? H m n. But!! geh
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I told flame once and it was just a throwaway kinda thing so you could all get to know Odette better anyways. But she’s an old ladY. I don’t think she’s ever s e e n a movie. And y’know she may refer to it as a Cinema too, it’s really not that wrong of an answer! 
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Her shyness is more one-on-one like when greeting gentleman at a dance or whatever e l s e. She doesn’t like speaking one-on-one. Otherwise I’m surprised Ado r a, we’ve said they’ve done public events for a while now!! She enjoys ballet, she’d say she rivaled her sister in fencing, she enjoys singing and feels like she’s done that publicly too! She has no idea how to paint wh a t, I doubt she’s attempted-- perhaps o n c e. She had cooking on the list at first but that’d be too easy, and she didn’t feel like being roasted :) 
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Everyone put snow white and like id k. She disliked Tangled though!! It had a mean mother who trapped her not-daughter in a room. That was one of Odette’s punishments for being unladylike and whatever else as a child! It was dark and she didn’t like it! The mother also kept snapping at her for mumbling, which she did a l o t as a child. 
Also had the image of someone pulling her by her hair and into the dark room so that’s n i c e. Also feels like sometimes she finds herself kinda punishing herself? By sitting alone in a dark room and staring off a bit. I worry. Also I’m sure that’s not the only punishment they had for her just the only one I know of so f a r. Especially if they’re doing all that weekend stuff to ‘the good one’ TM. 
Bonus: Odette if suddenly after all the neglect her parents throw Adora to the wolves cuz she can’t marry Nathaniel, and focus on her . But like also not really because it’s really jarring and sc a r y, thank yo u.
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She will have a handkerchief on her at all times, and since she can burn easy at times she likes to carry a parasol! Can’t say she carries a purse as oft e n but it doesn’t really feel all that wron g, but big shrug, I don’t think she goes out that ofte n. Servants take care of buying their needs. Images of her going into town are cute thoug h like let h e r. 
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She likes the first two especially, but she has been leaning towards more Asian tastes and continues to into adulthood. She likes th ese (there’s two pictures of it).
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Sutra - Chapter 9, part 1
A/N: Hey there guys! How's summer going for you all? It's winter now where I live but as every tropical country, the weather feels like summer. As you saw, it will be a two part chapter and I tryly hope you enjoy.
Summary: Reader giving her ballet classes when Steve comes around and leaves a bunch of kids amused. A good friend comes to visit.
Warning: Kids being kids, Steve and his romantic chivalry acts, Steve's POV at the end.
Word count: idk.
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Three months later
"Good afternoon, kids!" I greeted my ballet alumni with a smile.
"Good afternoon, Ms. Wilson!" they said in unison and with enthusiasm.
One of the nicest things about teaching kids? They're always excited, at least when they were having classes with me.
One of the greatest things of teaching alongside Anne is that I put her mind on opening ballet classes for every kid, so we'd be more inclusive, and one of the few dancing schools that teach ballet for either boys and girls in New York.
Every year, we open a scholarship program to child and teenager who want a opportunity to study dance. Commonly, those kids are either very gifted or live in poor districts - or both, which happens to be in most part of the cases.
"How did your weekend go?" I asked them. I heard them answer how good or not so good their weekend was.
"I went to see my grandma." Luce answered.
"Oh, and how is she?" I asked, showing genuine interest. I believe that being interested in your alumni's life makes them more interested about whay you have to say and teach. So I always knew a little of each life.
"She is good." She answered. "And sent you best wishes for your wedding, Ms. Wilson."
It didn't hurt me anymore when people talked about my wedding. But I must confess I felt a pang inside my chest when I heard Luce talk about that. I sighed.
"Everybody grab the mats and let's warm up." I said and changed subjects, then I looked at Luce. "Tell your grandma I said thank you."
We began doing the exercises. I made it as fun as I could and if it made my kids happy, it made me happy. I'd work their flexibility, their memorization capacities and their posture. Mothers and fathers already told me that the ballet classes not only made kids have some interest on physical activity, but also improved their social skills, empathy being one of them.
Also, Anne and I decided to hire a psychologist who already worked with counseling in schools at Harlem, so kids would go at her whenever their parents talk to us about their need to figure out the kids' inner issues.
"Okay, guys" I said after our last exercise. "Put your mats on their places and let's go to the barre."
While the kids got up and did as they were told, Trevor got up and got paralyzed out of blue.
"Trevor?" I asked while crouching next to him. "Are you okay, sweetheart?"
"Is he who I think he is?" He asked out of sudden and I looked back to see Steve Rogers wearing beige jeans, shoes and one of his infamous tight fit t-shirts.
And holding the craziest in a good way thing on his hands: a sunflower and red roses bouquet.
"Prince Charming?" Zoe asked and her hazel eyes would shine to the view.
"No!" Leo said. "This is Captain America, Zo!"
"He looks like Prince Charming to me!" Zoe said and I left out a laugh as I got up.
"Hey." I greeted Steve who wore a smirk on his handsome face.
"Hey." He greeted back and handed me the beautiful bouquet. "So, I... I bought these to you."
"Thank you so much." I smiled. "They're the prettiest!"
"I was thinking of you when I bought them." He said while I admired the beautiful and good smelling flowers.
"Oh, so now you're a sweet talker, Steven?" I asked him.
"Only if I get to amaze you." He answered back with a wink, making me smile.
"Smooth." I said. "Let me put these by the piano, I got a class to teach."
"Can I watch you?" He asked me. "I will behave, I promise."
"Take a chair by the door and suit yourself." I answered and Steve did what I told him, but in a literal way - he actually got one of the chairs for the kids' parents and put it next to the bars, where I'd lead the practice.
"Okay" I said and focused on the kids. "Everyone taking your places at the bars."
"Is Captain America going to watch us?" Trevor asked.
"I think so." I answered him.
"Is he your fiancee?" Luce asked out of sudden. Her question had effect in me and probably in Steve, too.
"He's a friend, Luce." I answered her.
"But..." Zoe began. "You look like a fairytale!"
"And he gave you flowers!" Leo pointed and Steve left a laugh, which made me laugh, too.
"To the barre, you guys!" I said.
Steve's POV
"Is he your fiancee?" one of the little girls in Ms. Wilson's class asked out of sudden. Her question got her surprised and I admit, it got me surprised as well.
It made me wonder what being married to Y/N would look like - we'd possibly live one of the many big houses in New York. Maybe we'd have a dog, or a cat, but we'd make some pretty babies.
And as I looked at Y/NN's body, I'd imagine her carrying our children, and taking care of our kids. She's good with kids, I thought. She'll be a great mother.
"He's a friend, Luce." Y/N answered her alumni.
"But..." The little girl who called me 'Prince Charming' began. "You look like a fairytale!"
"And he gave you flowers!" A boy (did boys have ballet classes these days?) pointed and I couldn't help but laugh, which made Y/N laugh, too.
"To the barre, you guys!" She said and the kids obeyed her.
A slow instrumental song began, and Y/N would teach the movements to the kids. And it all started with the pliés and arms positions - it looked real simple.
But it actually wasn't.
"Bras bas." Y/N would command and the kids would do what they were told as she walked and made the needed adjustments. "Arms in first position, second, thir... Anne, keep your back straight, second, third... Trevor, right arm up, third, fourth, fifth and back to the bras bas... let's go again."
The kids repeated the movements a few times before Y/N began to teach them basic ballet steps.
"Okay, so, out first move today will be pas de bourré." the kids and I watched her explanation with attention and she'd speak while dancing to the rhythm of the song. "Pas de bourré to the right, pas de bourré to the left... everybody doing it with me."
The kids would do the movement and it was really cute to see them trying. While the kids did the movement, she came to the back, so she would watch and correct their steps. Y/N had focus and discipline when it comes to her children.
"Luce, don't forget: straight back." She pointed to the little girl and corrected her back delicately. "Trevor, don't do it fast! Do it to the rhythm of the song, with grace."
Y/N was passing by and I left out a laugh of how serious and severe she looked, with her teaching manners and hair in a ballerina bun. She looked at me and her serious demeanor went away with a tiny smile.
"Don't laugh." She said.
"I'm not." I answered and she continued giving her class.
"Bye Ms. Wilson!" the little girl who I learned that called Luce said.
"Bye, Luce." I waver her goodbye with a smile and she put her tongue out. My polite smile faded.
"Bye, sweetie." Y/N said her goodbye and she smiled as if she was the sweetest child.
"Did you see that?" I asked and she laughed.
"Luce has a difficult personality." She answered my question. "Difficult but fun."
"You know what would be fun right now?" I asked her while getting up from the chair.
"What?" She asked and came at me. My arms encircled her waist.
"A kiss." I answered and kissed her lips. "And something to eat, because I'm hungry."
"Oh, yeah?" She answered and kissed me back, sweetly.
"Yeah." I answered on her lips and she smiled on mine. I was about to kiss her back, but someone cleaned their throat, interrupting us.
We looked towards the sound to see a tall, muscular and black man wearing jeans and a grey shirt.
"Do I interrupt?" He asked, with a laugh. His voice was thick.
"Well, if it isn't Luke Cage." Y/N said and went to greet him.
Who?
Tags: @coal000 @supersoldierfreak @id-rather-be-sleeping95 @cassiopeia-barrow @sp2900
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eye-raq · 5 years
Text
Who named you?!!!
Erik Stevens x Beulah May Jenkins 😊
Warnings: HUMOR, and I guess fluff.
Summary: (imagine Erik finding out his girl got an old ass name) Erik and his girl get ready to go out to a house warming of her families, but before they go Erik stumbles upon some “new” information.
I hope y’all like this little one shot that me and my friends in the group chat cooked up 😂😂😂 we some goofy bitches. Not really tagging alot of people because this is meant for a little fun to read I guess lol. I hope its good.
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“What the fuck? LAH LAH!!”
Lah Lah was in the middle of laying her baby hairs, putting her faux locs up in a bun, wearing high waisted ligh wash jeans, a crop top in red and a pair of black heels.
“Erik clearly I’m fucking busy babe!”
“Nah this some serious shit here! Don’t make me have to tell yo ass twice.”
She groans loudly, stomping out of the bathroom and down the hall to their master bed room. When she enters, she stumbles backward, her ankle sort of twisting awkwardly now shooting pain up her calve from her heels.
The color drained from her face, she was haunted.
“Who the hell is Beulah May Jenkins?!” Erik was shirtless, only in his Jean joggers and Nike vapor max plus.
She had a pained look on her face as she sped over, snatching up the ID, holding it behind her back.
“None of your got damn business! OOOO!! Damn why you going through my shit?!” She was throwing a minnie tempo tantrum. Erik noticed how jumpy she was, eyes looking anywhere but at him. He had a peering look in his eyes, tongue running over his upper teeth.
“Number one, your shit was near my shit. I found this fucking thing under my side of the bed. Number two-“
“Number TWO sit your big ass DOWN, and shut the fuck UP.” She pressed with irritation, counting off on her fingers dramatically trying to divert his attention away from where he was headed.
“So kindly get dressed so we can be outta here.” She wanted it to be over but surely she knew that Erik wouldn’t let this go. He clapped his hands together so loud it echoed off the walls.
“AYEEE! Let’s turn this shit back around Lah Lah Loopsy!!” He sounded out, holding up two fingers.
“Number two, why the fuck you got Big Mama name on here instead of Lah Lah?!” He gave her a quizzical look.
Lah Lah’s eyes almost left her sockets.
“What the fuck you in Lah Lah land or some shit?!” He glowered, scuffing afterwards.
“It’s-it’s not-I.” She could rip her hair out. She could not believe this was happening right now.
Before she could even think, Erik snatched up the ID again.
“ERIK STOP!!” She could cry hard.
She felt her heart race, her leg jiggled with anxiety. This was a huge secret for her.
Erik scanned the ID with his large muscular back facing her, silence between them. The only sound that could be heard was him tapping the card with his fingers. Lah Lah just stood there hugging herself, eyes burning a hole into his back. After what felt like a minute, she watches as Erik shakes his head, taking in a long obnoxious deep breath, before turning back around, scratching his brow.
“Lah Lah...From What I have gathered, it appears this is, YOUR drivers license and not some practical joke from Spencer’s gift shop.” He spoke with fake professionalism. He gazed, one eyebrow flicked upwards into his dreads.
Lah Lah ass couldn’t even speak.
“The name on this drivers license reads, Beulah May-“ he clears his throat, a fist to his mouth.
“Sorry, I had a tickle in my throat, but the name here reads Beulah May Jenkins.” He pointed to each name, from first to last, confusion written on his face, his own words scrambled.
“So in my head I’m like nah uh uh fuck that shit this can’t be her with this geriatric ass name, but then I look below it and see 10/15/1989.” He laughs as if he couldn’t believe his eyes.
“This is DEFINITELY a real ID and everything too.”
She looked as if she were going to faint. He fixed her with a hard gaze.
“It appears that my girl going to late night bingo with Dolores and Betty.” He stared briefly as if curious and evasive.
Lah Lah let out a long agonizing breath, shaking her head before placing her hands on her hips.
“So basically you wanna play?! Either way you know it’s mines nigga!!!” She could crap her pants right now from the embarrassment.
Erik folds his arms over his bare chest.
“Who did this shit to you? Who named you?!” He tried to convey a sincere tone but Lah Lah... Beulah knew that Erik was working his way up to clowning her more.
“Who was it?! Miss Karen or Mr Rod?” Erik licked at his bottom lip with a smirk slowly rising.
“Ole soul food ass name. You gonna tell me who it was?! Or stay mute?! I’m already flabbergasted.” He was struggling not to unravel with laughter.
“It was my DAD ERIK.” She was hopeless at this point. Trust Beulah always wondered why the fuck her father would do that shit!
“NAH NOT TRIPPLE OG ROD.” Erik shook his head frantically, LITERALLY DISTRAUGHT.
“Yes bitch ass nigga it was my damn daddy! Idk maybe he was drunk or some shit why don’t you ask him yourself.”
“Mannnnnnn” He slid his hand down his face.
“What was your mama doing though? She ain’t have a say?” His voice sort of broke from the laughter that wanted to burst.
“She said my Dad wanted to remember his great grandson through me so..”
“Great Grandson?” Erik scrunches his face, shaking his head slightly while his dreads shifted a little on his forehead.
“You know what the fuck I meant. Grandmom fool.”
“Damn...you remember the Civil Rights Movement?” He sat down then, hand under his chin, his leg crossed animatedly.
She was shamefaced. Beulah wanted to press rewind to stop this shit from happening.
“How about I sing this for you maybe your old ass will remember 🎶 we shall over come/ we shall overcome 🎶 “ you remember that? He had this vacant expression as if to play stupid.
“Erik I sware to fucking God I’m gonna fuck you up.”
“You sure you can do that? That osteoporosis ain’t killing you baby?” He spoke that with a fake elderly voice.
She could literally feel the steam blow from her ears. She just wanted to drink, check out her older cousins new place, stuff her face, and dance. Now things were taking a turn for the worse.
“You know what else makes this shit funny?!” That wide dimpled smile was unstoppable.
“Humor me.”
“You really call yourself Lah Lah in short for Beulah.”
This man was in shambles. He couldn’t hardly breath, the entire situation hard to get over.
“All them times your fingers locked up from stroking this dick, damn baby! You got arthritis, osteoporosis, next thing you know you’ll have kyphosis from me blowing your back out.”
“What the FUCK is Kyphrosis?”
“A hump back.” Erik goofy ass wheezed.
“I ain’t the one using a fake name ERIK STEVENS.” Beulah wasn’t really good with come backs.
“Oh nah uh uh don’t put me in that category I’m not the one with a name that belong to a women who was 30 during the prohibition.”
Lah Lah began to retort but her cellphone rang.
“Hello?! Oh...sorry mama. Yeah me and Erik are on our way now.” Lah Lah snapped her fingers at Erik to get dressed, watching him lift from the bed with his eyes dancing with humor, picking up his plain white t shirt and north face windbreaker in red and black. Lah Lah hung up the phone quick, turning to Erik with a scolding look.
“Now I hope you got all your laughs in nigga. Please don’t keep this shit up at the party E.”
Erik shrugged.
“Not making any promises, depends on how my mind feels.” She rolled her eyes, grabbing her things before heading out with Erik.
————————————————————————
“Hey! Lah and Erik are here!”
Erik greets her family, his mind taking in the fact that even her own family called her Lah. Erik felt reassured and happy that everyone were thinking the same thing. While here at the party, it became so unbearable to keep quiet once he saw her father talking it up in the kitchen with a glass of gin.
“Erik! What’s happening young blood?” He shook Erik’s hand, while he said hi to the others.
“Nothing much Mr. Rod, just hanging in there.”
Lah Lah enters, giving her love to everyone before grabbing up a punch bowl, leading her cousin towards the dining room.
“She still got you calling her Lah Lah Erik?” The way her drunk uncle asked that could have had him spitting out his drink in laughter.
“I’m still trying to understand why your old tired ass named your daughter Beulah.” One of her Father’s friends shook his head.
“For as long as I know, I would NEVER ever ever ever get with a girl named Beulah, sound like a name you would give a senior citizen.”
Erik couldn’t take it. He snorted a laughter into his cup, juice bubbles forming.
“Man I remember when I held her in my arms, she was so beautiful, still is. I asked this bastard what her name was.” He friend looked up at Erik, giving him complete eye contact.
“Well, you could probably guess what it was right?”
This caused some of the other men to chime in with chuckles.
“Beulah May Jenkins.” Erik actually took his time to sound that out in a sweet old lady voice, causing an uproar from the men, including her Dad.
“Back then man I was down about my great grandmom so I gave her that name.”
“When was your Great Grandmom born?” Erik asked.
“1901.”
“And when was Lah Lah born?”
“1989.”
“So why in the HELL...you know what.” Her Dads friend waved him away.
———————————————————————-
“Here, I got you a drink.”
Lah Lah reaches out to grab the cup only to find prune juice inside.
“Erik...What the FUCK is this?!”
“Prune Juice, itll help with your chronic constipation.”
Lah Lah just about had it. She kept from Erik because of this and now he wouldn’t stop. She needed to change her name quick and fast.
“Nigga I sware on my life-“
“Don’t say shit like that Beulah baby! You only 80.”
She tossed the cup in the trash angrily.
The one thing he did that had her ready to leave caused some people to laugh.
Erik made her a plate, bringing it outside to one of the picnic tables. She reached out for it but instead Erik sat it down with his, taking a knife and fork to cut it up.
“Since you so damn cripple I gotta chop this meat up for you.” He hummed to himself, cutting her grilled chicken and steak so fine it looked like already chewed food.
“Keep it up, and I’m chopping the meat between your legs with a butcher knife.”
This man even tried to spoon feed her. She didn’t even bother eating, instead grabbing her things, saying her last goodbyes, and leaving.
Home Lah Lah didn’t speak to Erik and she practically ignored him like he wasn’t there. Eventually sleep overtook him and he was a snoring mess. She had enough of his snoring in her ear, taking her foot and kicking him off the bed rough. He landed in a loud thump that caused her to chuckle to herself.
After about a day of no torture from Erik, Lah Lah-Beulah
Started believing Erik was done with his antics. She had plans to get her name permanently changed to Lah Lah or some other shit. Erik could be heard coming home, Lah Lah in the kitchen cooking chili.
“Hey Lah! I got a gift for you c’mere.”
She put the chili on simmer, finally walking into the living room to greet her man.
“Hey how was work?”
“It was good as always.” Erik pulls out a gift bag for her, a handsome smile on his face.
“Here you go baby.”
Lah Lah was beyond happy, she always loved gifts from him. She made herself comfortable on the couch, removing the gift wrap before staring down at a folded piece of fabric with an ugly floral design.
“Erik…”
She pulled out the fabric, letting it fall open to reveal a dress that looked like it belonged in the 1940s to some old as cat lady. It was dingy as well, and it smelled like cat piss.
“I figured you would love it. It suits you fine Beulah.”
She truly believed that this man was through.
“STILL ON THAT SAME SHIT HUH?!”
Erik pointed to the bag.
“One more gift left, and you better open it Miss Jenkins.”
Lah Lah angrily pulls a small box out the bag that had a gold ribbon. A sudden hope for something perfect came to her but that all came crashing down like a thunderstorm. She was staring down at a life alert necklace.
Lah Lah had this blank expression on her face, eyes never leaving that box. Erik could not control his laughter once she pulled the top off, he was on the floor now clutching his stomach.
“You May need to wear that when we fucking cuz I don’t need your ass to have a heart attack.”
Lah Lah through the box at him, groaning.
“ITS OVER E! The jokes over it’s dead now.”
“Not when you kick me off the bed it isn’t. You try that shit again and I’m calling you Beulah from here on out and I don’t give a fuck who hear!”
She side eyed him before lifting from the couch. She was about done with him dragging this shit out.
“If my name is such a damn problem then bounce nigga!” Erik rolled his eyes, lifting from the floor to follow her.
“You can’t take a joke?! I’m only messing with yo uptight ass.”
“You hate my name admit it!” She was being a cry baby now, folding her arms and pouting.
Erik walks up to her, rubbing her arms soothingly.
“Baby no, Beulah is a beautiful name.” She met his eyes, disbelief in them.
“Okay okay its a little cringe.”
She glared.
“A smidge more cringe..” she shoved him.
“BUT I love you. And I will always love you. It was a good laugh and I’m sorry if I offended you aight?”
He pinked her cheek, causing her too look away.
“Aye, cut that shit out Lah.” Erik pulls out another box, Lah Lah staring at it with caution.
“What’s this? A pace maker?!” She didn’t trust it.
“I promise I’m done.”
Lah Lah grabbed the box, taking off the lid to find pink diamond earrings. She shakes her head, a small smile creeping up before giggling to herself.
“Wow...they are actually beautiful asshole.”
She looked up at him and his goofy grin, the laughter uncontrollable now.
“Now cut that shit out and give daddy a kiss.”
She leans up on her tip toes, kissing him softly.
“You still don’t want the life alert though? You may need it in a minute miss Beulah.”
She couldn’t even argue with him, motioning for him to get the box with the life alert so she could wear it.
Erik was amused by this, watching her put it around her neck.
“I want my back blown out, and DONT give me a hump back.”
They both laughed in unison.
@panthergoddessbast @whoramilaje @allhailnjadaka @hearteyes-for-killmonger @vikkidc @ange-sensuel @thehomierobbstark @blackpantherismyish @eriknutinthispoosy @trevantesbrat 
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artificialqueens · 5 years
Text
Hidden Secrets (Trixya) Chapter One - bigandbilky
Greeting earthlings my name is Serena and i suffer from Writer’s Block. BUT!! I wrote a lil sumting for y'all. It’s gonna be multiple chapters but idk how many lol. Anyway this is Trixya inspired by Marvel TV Series: Daredevil. (You don’t have to watch it, i’m not putting in major spoilers!) You can also read this at my AO3! Enjoy x Word count: 3010
Summary: Katya is a criminal and Trixie falls in love with her and gets tangled into Katya’s life.
Trixie propped her head on her hand as she stared out of the window of the tailor shop. Kim had set her up for an extra shift because the store was so busy. Clearly that was not the case. Over the whole day she had literally four costumers and they only came to pick up their custom garments. Trixie picked her pink polished nails out of boredom. Amy was in the back sorting out their new fabrics and Trixie was left in the front, watching people pass the shop without even looking up. You could easily spot the tourists, as they looked so lost in a big city like New York. People from New York knew where they were going, without looking up from their phones or other things they were occupied with.
A door behind Trixie opened and closed, a soft breeze of air flew across Trixie’s skin, leaving goosebumps on her arms. Trixie turned her head and focused on the person behind her. Kim stood behind her, hands in her pockets.
“How’s it going?” She asked, leaning against the counter. Trixie rolled her eyes.
“Oh yeah, so busy. People are coming in every second.” Trixie’s voice was dripping with sarcasm and Kim laughed. “Listen, I don’t know why you let me come in today. Cleary there isn’t much I can do, and I feel really useless.” Trixie sighed, and Kim shrugged.
“Don’t worry, we’re closing soon. It’s almost six.” Kim said and softly brushed over Trixie’s shoulder. “You want to grab dinner later? Maybe Amy can tag along.” Kim said, and Trixie nodded.
“That’d be great. I’m not in the mood to make my own diner.” Kim nodded.
“I’ll ask Amy.” Kim said and disappeared through the door again. Trixie turned her head back towards the windows and noticed someone was staring inside. Trixie smiled but raised an eyebrow. It was a woman with blonde hair, dark grey pant suit with a purple blouse, tucked underneath in her pants. Two men stood next to her, both looking the other way, almost as if they were bodyguards. Trixie sworn she’d seen that woman before, but she can’t recall from where. The woman turned around and walked away. Trixie glanced at the clock, signaling it was six and she stood up. She walked towards the door and turned around the sign to closed. The stuck the key in the key-hole and twisted it so the door was locked. Trixie did her usual routine, counted the register and stuffed it safely in the safe that stood in the back office. She grabbed her purse, coat and waited for Kim and Amy to show from the other side.
“Amy is already out. Turkey is sick, so she had to go home.” Kim said, Trixie immediately making a mental note she had to ask about Turkey, Amy’s cat, the next day. She nodded and they both left the store. Locking the back door behind them.
“What do you want to eat?” Kim asked, and Trixie shrugged. “Pizza?” Trixie smiled, and they started walking to their favorite little Italian restaurant. They reached the restaurant about ten minutes later. As they walked in, the owner greeted them and led them to their usual table, tucked away far in the back. Trixie order a plain cheese pizza and Kim got one with seafood. They were silently eating their pizza, when the door opened and closed right away. Trixie glanced up and saw the same blonde woman that stood in front of their shop earlier. Trixie shifted her gaze back to her pizza. The woman sat two tables away from the two and Trixie couldn’t help but listen to their conversation.
“I don’t care what you have to do. Just take care of the problem.” The woman spoke, voice thick with a foreign accent. Maybe European? Trixie looked back at Kim and opened her mouth to say something, but Kim’s phone ringing interrupted her. Kim stared at the caller ID. Trixie’s eyes followed Kim’s, landing on the lit-up phone. Naomi.
“You’re not going to pick up, are you?” Trixie said, slightly annoyed. Kim and Naomi had broken up two months ago, but Naomi still called her on a daily basis, probably begging Kim to take her back. Kim shrugged.
“It’s probably nothing.” Kim said and locked her phone. Not even two seconds later, Naomi called back. Trixie’s hand reached for the phone, but Kim smacked her hand away.
“I don’t need you to handle this for me. I’m a big girl.” Trixie knew that was a lie. She had known Kim for over ten years, and she knew goddamn well Kim can’t handle this on her own. But for now, she chose just to ignore this. The blonde woman stood up, and swiftly walked by, leaving the restaurant. The woman left behind a trail of expensive smelling perfume. Kim was telling things to Naomi, but Trixie chose to ignore them. The blonde woman kept creeping around in her head, the smell of her perfume lingering in her nostrils.
Trixie arrived back at her apartment about an hour later. She took most of her pizza home and Kim left to see how Amy and her cat were doing. Trixie took a brief shower and sat on the couch, feet tucked neatly beneath her. She flipped through the channels, landing on Catfish. Trixie had already seen every episode and every season of it, but she never stopped enjoying watching it. She was always fascinated by what people would do to get relationships, but also how to deal with personal issues or other things. Those episodes where everything went perfectly, and the people actually met them, made her heart melt. Trixie always wished something like that would happen to her. Not the catfish part of course, but finding someone and immediately falling for the person, know it was simply meant to be.
Trixie kept watching Catfish until some stupid other show came on, and she turned off the TV. She padded her way to her bedroom, switching off every light that was still on. She crawled under the covers and fell into a peaceful dream, focusing on the cars speeding by.
Trixie’s alarm was way too early. Yet another day at work, waiting for literally no one to show up. Trixie placed her blonde hair in a bun on her head and applied a small amount of make up to her face. She picked out some dark blue denim jeans with a pink t-shirt. The put on her black velvet Dr. Martens and walked to the kitchen. The brewed herself some coffee and quickly ate an apple. She poured the coffee into a travel mug and placed it on the counter. She got her coat from the hanger and place a thick scarf around her neck.
Trixie walked towards the shop, multiple people bumping into her, but she barely cared anymore. She had lived in New York for about four years and was honestly really used to people being in her way all the time. Trixie stared down at her watch as she was stopped by a red traffic light. She only had five minutes left or she was going to be late. She mentally cursed at the traffic light for being red so long. After what felt like an eternity, the light turned green and Trixie stormed over to the other side of the road. She practically ran the last few blocks to work and managed to be right on time.
She slid the key into the door and opened it. She noticed the lights weren’t on yet and the alarm started beeping. She typed in the alarm code and went to the office of the store. She carefully opened the safe and took out the register drawer. She heard the door open behind her, revealing Kim. She muttered a good morning and strutted off towards the little kitchen to make coffee for herself.
“Have you heard from Amy?” Trixie asked, as she stood in the doorway of the kitchen. Kim looked up and shook her head.
“Not yet but she would text me if she wasn’t able to come. Haven’t heard anything so I assume she’s coming in.” Kim said and as soon as she finished her sentence, the door opened and closed again. “Speak of the devil.” Kim joked as Amy walked towards them.
“Good morning. How’s Turkey?” Trixie asked, stepping aside so Amy could pass.
“He’s better now. At least keeping his food in his stomach. The vet said I had nothing to worry about.” Amy answered and gladly took the steaming mug of coffee Kim held out for her.
“That’s good,” Trixie said, and Amy smiled, sipping from her coffee. “Well I’ll open the store. If I need anything, I’ll let you know.” Trixie said and walked towards the front of the store. The placed the drawer in the register and walked towards the door to open it. She turned the sign to open and walked back towards the countertop. She rearranged some fabric patches they had in the showcase. Trixie looked up when she heard the doorbell jingle and saw someone stepping in.
“Welcome to Honeycomb Tailor shop. How can I help you?” Trixie said, probably in a way too friendly voice. Trixie let her eyes wonder through the shop, since the costumer didn’t reply to her friendly voice. She noticed there were two people waiting outside. Her gaze shifted back to the person standing in front of her. It took her only two seconds to realize it was the same mysterious woman that stood in front of the window a day earlier and the same person she had seen in her favorite Italian restaurant. Trixie swallowed hard.
“You do custom suits, yes?” The woman’s voice again thick with an accent. Trixie nodded slowly.
“Yes, we do. I’ll ask someone in here to help you.” Trixie said and smiled politely. The woman stared in her eyes.
“No no, you can do it.” The woman said, the accent seemed to have disappeared from her voice. Trixie stared at the woman, slightly raising her eyebrows. She never did a custom suit before, normally that’s something Kim would do.
“But, eh, I never did a custom suit before. My colleague specializes in it.” Trixie stammered, the woman seemed unbothered by her words.
“I’ll teach you. It’s not that hard.” A voice from behind said and Trixie spun around, Kim standing there with a smug look on her face. “Follow me this way.” Kim directed her voice to the woman. She walked out to the far-right corner of the shop, where a little platform was located. Kim mentioned for the blonde to step on it and gave Trixie her a measuring tape.
“First you measure the total height and write it down.” Kim instructed, and Trixie suddenly got nervous. Her hands trembled around the tape as the held it at the feet of the woman, slowly going upwards to the top of her head. Trixie was sure the blonde could feel her shaky breath on her neck.
“Five feet nine inches.” Trixie mumbled under her breath and Kim wrote it down.
“Now the shoulders.” Kim said, and Trixie carefully placed the tape around the blonde’s shoulders. Trixie was about to say the width of her shoulder, when she was interrupted.
“I haven’t fully introduced myself, have I?” The blonde said, perfectly white teeth showing in a big smile. “Yekaterina Petrovna Zamolodchikova. Katya for short.” Trixie tried to wrap her head around that name, but it was impossible for her to pronounce.
“Beatrice Mattel. Trixie for short.” She felt vulnerable for telling this strange woman her full name, but a tiny part of her also felt comfortable telling it.
“Trixie,” Katya softly mumbled under her breath. “How wide are my shoulders, doll?” Trixie shifted her gaze to Kim and swallowed down hard.
“Sixteen and a half inches.” Trixie said, and Kim scribbled it down, completely ignoring what just happened.
“Now the waist.” Trixie nodded and wrapped her arms around Katya’s waist. She held her breath while doing so and it was almost as if Katya did the same. Trixie could see Katya was tapping her foot lightly, obviously annoyed by how long it took for Trixie to measure her.
“Twenty-eight.” Trixie said.
“Legs.” Was all Kim said and continued to stare at Trixie. She carefully squatted down and placed the measuring tape at the sole of her heels. She let her fingers travel up towards her hip, the tape following along.
“Thirty-two inches,” Trixie said and stood back up. “Anything else?” Kim looked at her and wanted to say something.
“Yes, my breasts,” Katya said, staring at Trixie. “But I can just tell you that information. Thirty-four.” Kim scribbled it down and walked towards the fabric wall.
“Now all we have to do is pick a fabric and a blouse and we’re ready to make it for you.” Kim said, and Katya nodded. She stepped off the platform and walked towards the fabric wall. She carefully walked by, touching almost every fabric.
“This one.” Katya pointed at a dark grey fabric with a black and red plaid sewn into the grey. “For blouse, I’ll take this red satin. Now just send the bill to this address. I’ll pick everything up in two days.” Katya added and shoved a business card in to her hands. Kim nodded awkwardly and before she knew, Katya was gone, leaving the door bell jingle.
"Two days?” Kim nearly shouted, and Trixie flinched. “I can never make a full custom suit in two freaking days.” Kim sighed hard and left to the back, taking the fabrics with her.
“Let me know how much you need so I can make the bill!” Trixie yelled at her, but a door was slammed. Trixie walked back towards the counter and went back to staring out of the window. The scent of Katya’s perfume haunted her again.
The rest of the day slowly passed, and Kim allowed Trixie to go home earlier, because she wasn’t really needed. Amy could look after the front, while Kim made the suit. Trixie walked home, not in the mood to call an Uber and wait for it. On her way home, she stopped at the grocery store and picked out something she was going to make for dinner. When Trixie stood at the register to pay, a news flash came on the tiny TV hanging on the wall in the corner. Trixie didn’t mean to pay attention to it but in the corner of her eye, she saw a familiar blonde face on TV. Katya was surrounded by press and cameras. The man and woman that followed her around, stood next to her, arms crossed and faces on pokerface. None of the words that left Katya’s mouth went into Trixie’s head. But clearly, Katya was known in New York, or so she saw at the crowds that stood yards behind the press. People looked either supporting or not supporting.
“All I want is for New Yorkers to feel safe,” Katya said, pausing a second to look directly at the camera. “And I will do everything in my power to do so.”
So, Katya was someone political, maybe a congress woman. Trixie was confused but she kept staring at the TV. Trixie felt oddly attracted to the woman at this point. The look on her face was harsh, almost mean. Or rather angry. It was serious, and Trixie wasn’t used to it. As you know this woman, a voice in her head told her. But it did feel like that. When Katya walked into the store today, she looked harsh and serious. Something was bothering her. But her face softened when her eyes laid on her. Or maybe that was just Trixie’s imagination.  Trixie was snapped out of her thoughts by the store clerk trying to get her attention for probably the past few minutes. Trixie blushed hard and handed him the money.
“Keep the change.” Trixie mumbled and walked out of the store. She continued her road back home, walking fast and maneuvering through the thick crowd of people. Trixie fumbled with her keys, her neighbor passing and staring at her weirdly. She mumbled a hi under her breath and stepped into her apartment. It was cold and dark. She flipped on some lights and walked towards the thermostat to turn on the heating a little bit. Trixie started preparing her food, her mind blank and not really thinking of anything.
Trixie sat at her small diner table, near the large window that was set in the middle of her living room. It wasn’t the best view, she must admit. But it was better than surrounding fields of corn, large trees and what not back in Wisconsin. Her mind wandered back in time, to the times she was a little girl. Playing outside with her dolls, not worrying about anything. She didn’t think of that very long, after it started reminding her of why she left in the first place. Her mind wandered back to the blonde and she was starting to get a little excited for when Katya would return to the store in two days.
Trixie remembered every tiny detail of Katya’s body. Slender legs tucked away under the soft grey of the pants that belonged to the pant suit she was wearing. Strong muscles, probably tan too, due to the tan she saw in her neck. Trixie was nervous around her, her breath hitched in her throat when she moved closer. She was almost scared that the actually had to measure her breasts. It was a relief she didn’t need to do that, but it also saddened her. She wanted to wrap her arms around the tiny waist the woman had, being able to find out what the width of her chest was. But she found anyway, without having to do it herself. Trixie’s stomach turned into a tight knot and she focused herself on something else, praying those two days went by fast.
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monohart · 6 years
Text
green tea. (college!au)
ft. wong yukhei and post-midnight fluff.
i wrote this for a friend but she doesn’t know i wrote it for her and i didn’t know she actually isn’t stressed anymore but she secretly reads my stuff so i guess she’ll see it when she sees it hehe
you were on the verge of breaking down when you realised how many things you had to get done before next week.
and when your boyfriend yukhei called you that night, you gave one worded replies which made you depressed because you were actually looking forward to talking to him all day, but you just couldn’t get any words out
he noticed. but when he asked, you couldn’t even answer what was wrong because
because everything was wrong and there was nothing right
you hung up after a while to focus on your work, but yukhei
oh boy, yukhei..
he tried going to sleep early because dang he had a tiring day too
but he ended up tossing and turning for ages as he thought about how sad and tired you sounded..
and how you were probably be curled up in a small blanket cocoon, all alone in your small, cold room....
... probably sniffling and listening to hyukoh or dean to try and sooth your moment of depression....
and that did it.
he grabbed his keys and a hoodie and slipped out of the dorms
on the way he made a detour to the 24/7 hour cafe to grab something warm for you
he knew you liked to drink green tea late at night because it was soothing.
and he smiled proudly as he made his way to your place with the warm drink in his hands.
just imagining you sitting up from that blanket cocoon and watching him walk in with big doe eyes made him giddy
anyway though, on the other side of town...
you were actually wide awake
you were sitting at your brightly lit desk, pondering over a concept you had a lot of trouble understanding.
when yukhei arrived, he placed the tea on your desk and then made himself comfortable on your bed
you didn’t even notice smh
it took you a few minutes to acknowledge the elephant in your room.
yes, a literal baby elephant because he took up your entire bed smh
you turned away from your laptop to look at him.
he already tucked himself comfortably in your bed and was staring at you with a coy smile
your heart stopped right then and there im telling u
that lazy look in his eyes, his unruly hair that was sticking up in different directions.. the shy, innocent curve of his lips that formed just by gazing at your back
the urge to drop your work and pounce on him was real
but
you held yourself and picked up your pen again
and he let you be, because he was partly relieved that you weren’t completely shut down like how he thought you were, but he was also so damn proud??
like.. damn that’s my woman right there...
look at her working that sexy brain of hers.... damn.
while he watched you work, he took in small details
like how long your hair had gotten over the past few months
it was long enough for you to bunch it in a messy bun that sat on the top of your head
he still remembered the first time y’all met, your id photo was the one where you had bangs
literally your worst photo ever.
it was from years and years ago and somehow you haven’t changed it yet
but somehow he liked it and found your panicked smile in the photo absolutely adorable
then he started giggling at the thought of that picture
and it made you jump and lose your train of thought
“wong yukhei i don’t mean to be rude but it’s almost 2am what are you actually doing here?”
he answers your question but he does so while sitting up and running his large ass hands through his locks
you actually want to die
and then he shrugs nonchalantly and tells you that he’s here as your lucky charm
you sigh and looked away with that really deflated look in your eyes, and he immediately went
ohshitohshitohshitohshit
and push the blankets aside to move behind you
and because you were sitting on your desk chair, he had to bend over
in order drape his long arms around your shoulder
and rest his chin on your shoulder to peer at your work
he was warm and smelled fresh
like he just came out of the shower or something
it wasn’t like the usual cologne he’d wear when going out
which you also loved
but it was just that smell of him
anyway
“oh, you’re stuck on that?? i took that subject last year and i aced it. let me tutor you.”
you frown and turn your face to glare at him, with a whole list of rebuttals
but
holy shit
that boy
already had his head turned, waiting for you
and when you glared at him, he leant forward just a hair, to kiss you
and suddenly you felt like you drank 9 cups of caffeine in one go
he was so soft and warm and you didn’t want to let go
so you chewed lazily on his bottom lip as you held his cheek
and idk how long you did that for but it must’ve been quite a while because his back was sore
“uh.. babe.. can’u let go o’m’lip..”
“no.”
“but m’back’urts.”
“no.”
he wasn’t going down without a fight so he caught you off guard by picking you up with his strong arms
holy shit
and carrying you to the bed
all in one swift movement
and by then you were shrieking and attempting to kick him but
he d0dged the heCk
cause you kicked him once before during a ~fun~ soccer play-off and it hurt like hell
anyway
you finally gave up when your back hit the mattress and the whole bed went nYOOM at the sudden weight of both you and your boyfriend
who btw
was shrieking now
actually he was just laughing but boy can’t keep his voice down
and you scold him because its late and you didn’t want to wake the whole house
“also, how the hell did you get in, the front door was locked?”
he grins his hecking cheesy grin that you hate but love so much
so you turned your body to face him
and closed your eyes and puckered your lips
boy caught on immediately 
good job, yukhei
so he leant in while placing his warm hands on your waist
and you waited to feel his soft lips on yours
but
uh..
you opened your eyes a hair to peek at what on earth was taking him so long
and you find him staring at you with his gummy smile
and you frown but he just blinks a couple times and continues to stare
“is something on my face??”
he nods wordlessly but really just continues to study every curvature and every little detail on your face.
“where??”
you move your hands to your cheeks and nose and forehead and eyelids and feels around for anything that isn’t supposed to be there
“yukhei... what is it, take it off for me..”
he lets out a small chuckle at your whines and then he
dramatically
clears his throat
“i would love to but i can’t.”
you were about to snap back a reply but he pressed a finger to your lips before continuing
“have you heard of this thing called beauty? yeah, cause that’s all over your face right now and it’s actually been there for a really long time but i just haven’t to-”
when you throw your arms around him and attack him with kisses, he almost tumbles off your small bed
but he wanted to keep his cool yanno
like
he wasn’t gonna accidentally fall off a bed.. especially not after that applause worthy speech
but you could instantly tell he lost his balance for a quick sec because he let out a quiet gasp against your skin and
and then you were laughing
and he started laughing too
he was laughing because heck yes!!! he missed that smile of yours
you didn’t know but he had been waiting all day to see you smile
and it was just so satisfying
like a breath of fresh air
y’all lay there like that for quite a moment.. to catch your breath i guess
and the prospect of studying crawled back into his mind.. obviously..
and into yours too
but he didn’t want to ask you about it just yet
because you needed a break.. just to lift your head above all the stress
forget about the complex concepts for just a second
and appreciate the little things around you
which he was able to make you do and damn he was a proud lil boy..
so proud of himself.
but
all of a sudden you sat up
and he sat up too
cautiously
(because he was literally on the edge of your small bed)
“holy shit is that...”
you recognised the scent way too well
it was the familiar smell of all-nighters
the familiar smell that calmed your senses and 
that little feeling you get when you realise you’re doing well with your work and that you’ve come further than you have since the beginning of the night.
it was sitting there.
it was sitting peacefully on your desk, still warm and untouched.
“wong yukhei, i love you.”
he followed your gaze and laughed.
yeah, green tea.
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eggdotjpeg · 5 years
Text
Hey so I wrote this chapter of a shitty story I might be continuing? idk how much I will update this, just remind me of it. Anyway. I’m putting the first chapter under the cut (hopefully, I don't really know how this works). I’ll start writing the second chapter now. Enjoy I guess? Oh yeah, this chapter is for 69 followers but the next one more so. Haven’t really edited this either, so if there are any mistakes then feel free to point them out!
The Five Fingers
Chapter One: I Can See a Man With a Baseball Bat
It was a late night on the 6th of September, or rather, an early morning, and Hubert Cumberdale was curled up in his bed, lying awake and waiting for just the right time. As the seconds ticked by, Hubert felt himself fill with more and more anticipation. His hands were shaking as he leaned over to grab his phone resting on his bedside table. He carefully unlocked it and opened his Instagram app. He checked the time and went into the group chat he had with his friends Marjory Stewart-Baxter, Jeremy Fisher and Milford Cubicle.
“420 blaze it lmao”, Hubert carefully typed into the chat.
“Go to sleep Hubert you’ve got to have energy for the movie release tomorrow”, quickly replied Marjory.
“You’re no fun, goodnight MUM!”
“Goodnight Hubert.”
After reading Marjory’s reply, Hubert made sure his alarm was set for 10 and put his phone back down and fell asleep.
 As sleep took over Hubert’s tired body, his mind was filled with a bright light, and then coming out of the smoke was Morgan Freeman. Morgan invited Hubert to sit and he did so. Morgan stared into his eyes and said with utmost certainty “You know I had to do it to em’”
Hubert spun around and saw him. Glowing. He spun back around to find Morgan gone. He woke up to his alarm.
He grumbled and turned off his alarm when he remembered. Today is the day. After quickly showering, he walked over to his closet to pick up the outfit that he had laid out the previous day. It was a simple white shirt with blue sleeves that went up to his elbows, and brightly coloured blue jeans. He walked over to his mirror and began to style his hair. He took two pieces at the front and make them stick up and then fall down, much like dog’s ears.
Hubert still had an hour and a half until he had to leave, so he decided to watch Bill Wurtz’s latest video. Before it, a 30 second ad started playing. Hubert decided to pay attention to the ad to see if it could give him any life changing advice for the day.
“Has you really been far, even as decided to use, even go want to look more like? Call 985-655-2500 inside the details for. Go further and even more decided to use! You can really be far as decided twice as much to use and go wish for it. When you decide far even once to use and even go want then get really far, even as decided to use and look more like and go after. It’s just common sense! Apply today.”
These few words held so much meaning to Hubert, but he just couldn’t wrap his head around as to why. He simply shrugged and went into the group chat and sent a message to see what his friends were doing now. Milford was still on his shift at Bunnings, Marjory was at the shops getting snacks and Jeremy had just woken up and was very annoyed.
Hubert decided this was the best time to go to the museum. They just had this new exhibit in that he was very excited to see.
After grabbing his coat, Hubert set off for the museum. It took 12 minutes and 250 seconds to get there, so if he stayed in there for 5 minutes he should be able to make it to the movie just in time.
When Hubert inside the lobby of the museum, he realised he needed a gummy snake to enter the museum. He didn’t bring one, so he walked outside and saw a kitchen table sitting on the road. He figured it would work just as well and walked over and picked it up. He walked back into the museum and gave the table to the receptionist.
“Funny looking gummy worm,” said the receptionist. Hubert merely grunted and took note that he had a nametag which read “Harry”. “Eh, whatever, it’ll do I guess step right in.”
Hubert stepped into the museum and started to make his way over to the new exhibit. He was in a rush, as consulting with the receptionist had taken 10 seconds of his precious time. It was lucky that the theatre was right next to the museum, so he didn’t have to waste time doing such mundane things like walking.
When Hubert neared the new exhibit, he started to smell a strange scent. It smelt of rotting meat. But something about it was different, almost foreign. When it came into sight, Hubert was in shock. It was one of the best things he had ever seen in his life. It was a meat dragon. Something seemed different about this meat dragon in particular. it was different to all the meat dragons he’s seen. What was different became apparent as he neared it. The sign said was entirely made of orphan meat. Truly original.
Then, out of the blue, he saw Harry advancing towards him. Oh god. This couldn’t be good. Then Harry started talking to him. It seemed like gibberish. Then Hubert started paying attention to what he was actually saying, and started to make sense of the nonsensicals.
He looked at his watch and it said he had been here for 2 minutes! Great Scott! He threw a pillow at Harry who ate it up gratefully, and Hubert began quickly running towards the exit, cursing under his breath about how Harry had kept him for 2 minutes. Two minutes too long I’d say! Doesn’t anyone know that no one cares if your pet tardigrade has a child?
He ran out of the museum and bolted into the cinema, coughing up red water. One of the staff members came up to him and offered a candle to help the coughing, but Hubert declined as he was going to be late for his movie. He made it in to his seat with only an hour, 5 minutes, 7 seconds and 32 milliseconds left to spare. He let out a big sigh and wondered where his all his friends were. He was sure they were going to be late!
20 minutes and 4 seconds later, Marjory entered with a 666-kilogram wheel of cheese. Ah, good old Marjory, you could tell she was from Wisconsin just by looking at her.
Hubert was getting worried, there were only 10 minutes until the movie started and Milford and Jeremy still hadn’t arrived. Then, in the blink of an eye, they came bursting in through the cinema doors, panting like doggos.
“Sorry we’re late, there was a lot of traffic so it took an extra 4 seconds,” breathed Jeremy
“You should’ve accounted for that, hurry up and take your seat the movie is about to start”, replied Hubert.
They took their seats as they eagerly waited for the movie to begin.
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amadisonfxo · 4 years
Text
what does my life feels like - march 25,2020
as i deal with being forced to staying in my house, it feels more and more like home. finally. a form of home. ive been attempting to build a routine, the first week this all kinda was layed down in front of me, i let myself kind of just, be. even if there was a responsibility, i let it go. i couldnt. id just take it all in and come to terms with the cards this whole world has kinda been dealt. the extra card id been dealt, the heartbreak, i let myself wallow in it and lay in my bed, eat, cry, and watch shows that i dont care about, i just didnt wanna think about what he was doing, or my life in general. 
now, a week maybe more later, i went to work for a few days, it was a turning point for the dumb mindset i was in. they were pretty okay, it felt good to feel some form of my normal life, ive been working there for over a year, youve ben in my life while ive been there, and you also havent. so it feels okay. it was hard to be there but it was comfortable, but of course i couldnt help but hold back tears and shed a few. but i was quick to pull it together. i stupidly thought of how that one afternoon in June when i couldnt drive, you drove me. we spent the first half of the day together cause thats all we could have, but we wanted it, maybe 3 hours. wow. i thought of the few times you came through the drive thru, i thought of my heart beating 100 miles an hour just cause i could see your sweet little truck on the screen, we could have been together for months at this point but you just kinda made me feel like that. 
ive been waking up, checking all the internet, planning my day. keep busy, work on your habits while you have all this time, is what ive been thinking. work on things youve brushed to the side. dance, i love dance, i put dance on the shelf, i put my health on the shelf. i wake up. i make my bed. always. i need to be  better with that habit, its important, i make my coffee, i love it, ice. creamer, not the cinnamon bun stuff im sick of it. then keurig coffee, in a mason jar, no exceptions, check the straw and make sure theres no gross in it. 
then i find some form of moving to do, the studio put out online class, ive been doing that, ive been motivated to dance for myself. its great. i eat lunch with my parents when they come home, im not strong enough yet to hang out with them at night without thinking you should be there, yet. thats next. 
ive been taking a few minutes to read, mostly indys blog, i find so much of myself in her and i hope to have a story somewhat like hers. just fun. but in love. eventually. in love but far away. but then come back later. but shes cool and she reminds me that i need to see other things, ive been thinking about it, someone asked me to go see this beautiful spot in town, by the airport where you can see all the lights. to sit and tell them about what my mind is going through, its tempting, i had to cancel twice, I didn’t want to, timing was wrong. its hard that you’re not the one wanting these things, but that’s not you. You can’t be that. I know that. but i want something like that. but not now. im trying to find me and my old things. not old me, i love the crazy passionate, lame but funny girl i am right now.
  someones gonna come my way one day though one day and give me like, crazy love. i know it. im gonna attract what i want with my energy. him or not. itll be cool. 
ive been going for like hour long drives, on every long peaceful road i can find, i went tonight and the sky was reaalllyyy pretty. last night was pretty too. i woke up today and cried that we werent going on stage, i took for granted every sweet second i had with the little gang, theyre all so young and brought a lot of light on my dark, dark days. if  showed up crying, they were there. to be so sweet. i love them. i miss them.  i cried 20 minutes ago and i cant remember about what, it wasnt you though, idk what it was. im content with you. i can ignore you and want you and either is good. like we said, lets just be and hang out and be lovey if we want, but be apart. no commitment. its hard sometimes but i kinda love the rush. comfort was nice but feeling like im flying off a bridge but landing softly with you is kinda fun. it feels like were testing out the whole having fun thing and it feels cool.
but let me tell you, im fine without you, but being with THAT version of you, is heaven and its hard to not want every night.  
im learning, im growing, nothing is permanent, i learned to shut down hopeful thoughts, i cant count on anything but myself and its been such a short amount of time. 
i will. be unrecognizable.  
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