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a1307s · 6 months

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Companion #3

(Bart Allen)

[Art is not mine! Credit to onipilot]

Requested by: Feketealkony16

Keys:

Y/N: Your Name

Word Count: 4,041

Warnings and/or Pre-Notes:

Torture

Blood

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It's been about a month since Bart and I started dating. It's been really nice. I like him a lot. I like waking up next to him, I like playing with his hair, and I really like our kisses. We have also been talking to Canary together which makes it easier to tell him things and has helped me not be so scared of him touching me.

Another new thing has been us going on runs. My companion has a lot of energy and a lot of stamina which means he can be a handful when he isn't active enough. We talked it over with Canary last week and she recommended to find something we could do together. Something that could be altered so Bart could burn through his energy before bed. We ended up settling on nightly runs. I can work on my cardio and stamina and Bart can run circles to use up his energy.

Like every night recently, we're on our nightly run. Bart is zooming around town, stopping for a beat when he passes to check up on me. He paces next to me, throwing up two thumbs up. I nod and he zooms away again. I'm not okay, my lungs are screaming, and I want to stop, but there were no missions today, so my companion has extra energy, which means this needs to be an extra-long run or else I won't get any sleep.

It's hard to keep up with my breathing so I stop for a moment. I hunch over, hands on my knees, as I heave for air. The chilled oxygen burns my lungs, but it's nice to not have such labored breaths. I go to stand up straight again, but before I can there's a sharp pain in my side.

"What the-" I turn to my right, where the pain is, and I'm meet with Luther's face. No... no, no, no, no, no.

"Experiment 203," he says, tugging the knife from my side. The blade of the knife is green, the same shining green as the rock that haunts my nightmares. I stay frozen, unable to run or fight or scream. Within seconds the world goes black, the only thing I can feel is my body making contact with the pavement.

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A light shines behind my closed eyes, slowly pulling me out of my sleep. I flutter my eyes, giving them a chance to adjust to the light. Where am I? Where's Bart? Why is it so cold? Luther! I snap my eyes open, my most recent memories flooding my mind. Luther, the knife, the concert.

I scan my surroundings. Glass separates me from the room. It's the dark, cold, red room. The room of my nightmares. The room I spent most of my life in. I slam my fists against the glass, my voice tearing from my throat as I yell. "Let me out! Let me out right now! I know you can hear me, Luther! Let me go!" Unsurprisingly, the glass doesn't break despite my strength. It never did before, it's not going to now. Despite that, I continue banging on the glass, trying to make it crack.

"Experiment 203," Luther's voice comes through the speakers in the room. This isn't real. It can't be real. I'm just having a nightmare. Any minute now I'll wake up with Bart wrapped around me in bed. "Welcome back to Cadmus. You've been missed."

Lair. Dumb, mean, abusive, lair. "Let me out!" I scream again, the feeling of blood trickling down my hands from the continued contact with the pod.

"No can do, 203. We have more tests I need to run. Plus, now I have to restart everything. I can't have you acting like Project Kr."

"My name is Y/N! And my brother's name is Conner! Y/N and Conner! Conner and Y/N! We are people; We have names!" The glass in front of me is stained with my blood, the stain only getting worse as it rolls down the front of my - the pod.

The speakers stay silent, the voice being replaced with the sounds of fans turning. The pod is filled with gas, making it hard to stay awake, to stay fighting. My fists get slow, and my eyes get heavy as I breathe in the air. I can't pass out again. I can't be vulnerable. I can't let Luther get the upper hand. Even with my best efforts, the world starts going dark again. No, I can't live like this again. I can't go through all this again.

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The end of Luther's knife dugs into my bone again, the tip of it sliding against the hard material. "What's your name?"

"Y/N."

The knife is pulled out before quickly being plunged back into me. This time, the tip of it digs between two bones. Luther tips the knife, forcing the bones apart slightly, causing new waves of pain to ripple through the numbing pain. Tears trickle from my eyes as I tug against my restraints, the rough edges of the kryptonite digging into my wrists and ankles again. Blood trickles from the new wound. I've grown used to this, grown used to the only warmth coming from my blood escaping from my injuries.

I don't know how long I've been here. How long I've been running tests so long that I can't even stand by the end of it. How long Luther has been tearing my flesh apart piece by piece.

"What... is... your... name?" He asks again, removing the pain for a second before plunging the knife back into the same place, over and over again.

I need it to stop. I need him to let me go back to my pod. I need to sleep. I need a break from the pain. "Experiment 203."

"Good Job!" Luther cheers, removing the knife from me and letting it clutter onto the medical table I've been tied to for hours. Or maybe days. Maybe even months. I can't tell anymore.

It's been terrible, it's been tiring, it's been the same it was before Project K- Conner saved me. The same exhaustion I can't wash away from the overuse of my abilities and the under-given chance to sleep. The same exhaustion from lack of food, lack of light, lack of anything except pod, tests, and pain.

Occasionally anger bubbles in me. At first anger at Luther, and now anger at the league. Where are they? Why haven't they saved me? Do they not care? Does Bart not care? Has he already moved on? Cut his losses? Has he found a new companion? A new relationship? Is he someone else's boyfriend? Does he miss me? Does he think of me?

"Are you thinking of your little speedster again?" Luther asks, his eyes as dark as ever as he pats at my wounds with a cloth. He says he doesn't like blood in my pod because it could ruin the wiring and 'we can't have a dysfunctional cage for you, can we?'.

I stay silent, focusing on the lights above my head. They're bright and burn my eyes when I look into them, but I don't care. At least this is pain I can control. The only thing I can control.

"He's not coming for you, and neither is Project Kr. Do you really think they'd risk getting captured to save you again? You're worthless to everyone but me. I'm the only one that sees any worth in you, the only one that cares. The league couldn't care less about-"

"I know," I whisper, cutting Luther off as I blink my eyes, giving them a little rest from the light above. He's wrong... maybe. Probably... probably not. If he was wrong, why would I still be here? If he was wrong, why would I still be hurting? Bleeding? At least he cares, right? If he didn't care he wouldn't put so much effort, some much time into me. "Thank you," I murmur, pushing down a whimper as he dips the cloth into one of the newer wounds.

"What a good pet," Luther says, moving closer so I can see his face. His eyes aren't dark anymore, they're almost sparking as he smiles at me. "Good, good pet," he adds, running his hands through my blood-soaked hair. At least I know Luther still cares.

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The metal infused with kryptonite wrapped around my neck and wrists clink around as I fall to my knees. In the past while Luther has been testing my jumps, he wants me to jump higher, he wants me to fall harder, make the Earth shake more. He thinks if I work on it enough my genes will unlock flight so I'm better than Project Kr - Conner. My brother's name is Conner.

I stay curled up on the floor, my breathing sounding louder than it is as it echoes off the walls. "Luther?" I call after a pause of silence. Usually, he calls in, and tells me to do it again or that I failed or that I did good. Maybe I did really bad and that's why he's not talking. I probably did badly, I'm exhausted, all my limbs shaking from the constant use of my abilities. I did bad.

The button for the speakers is pressed in the control unit, sending the familiar clicking sound throughout the room. "Y/N?" A voice calls, but it's not Luther's.

This is a test, a new test. Luther has run this test a few times to 'see if I'm really fixed or if we need another lesson'. I passed it last time - it only took six tries - so I thought it would be done with. Hope used to flow through me when I would hear someone call it out, but that's been beaten out of me, beaten out of my head, my soul, my heart. I'm not being saved, Luther just pulled a doctor and had them call for me to see if I've learned my lesson.

"I'm Experiment 203," I answer, turning my head towards the control unit. It's a blackout screen, so Luther can see me, but I can't see him. I did good, I passed the test, and I will get chocolate before going back to my pod today. Maybe I'll get lucky and there will be almonds in it like last time. I hope so.

Another click, but silence passes over the speakers. "Oh, Y/N," the voice finally says, it cracking as the person speaks.

"I am Experiment 203. I am Luther's, I belong to him." Why are they still going? I passed the test; I said the right thing. I want my chocolate, my pod, my sleep. I am being good, so why won't Luther give me my reward?

I stay still, waiting for Luther's voice. The heavy door behind me opens, filling the room with screeching as it moves on its hinges. "Luther!" I call, trying to be cheery and smile despite my pain. He likes it when I'm cheery, he says it makes me look like a cute puppy dog. It takes a second for my eyes to adjust to the new, brighter light filling the room from the open doorway. When they do focus, it's very much not Luther standing in it.

Standing in front of me is someone short, someone skinner than Luther. Where is Luther? Who is this? Is Luther, okay? Why is this person here? Why isn't Luther here? Did I fail? Is this my punishment?

"Y/N?" They call taking a step into the room.

"I am Experiment 203!" I try to yell, but it doesn't work out that way. I struggle to my feet, moving as far back as my restraints will let me. Kryptonite digs into my skin as I pull against my restraints, the edges reopening old wounds and causing fresh blood to start coating my skin. My trembling now is a mix of exhaustion and fear.

The person takes another step forward, the ends of their hair almost glowing from the light behind them. "Y/N?" They repeat, my vision is filled with the green eyes from my dreams. "Are... you're... oh my god," Bart mutters, quickly walking up to me. His hands hover over me as he moves them around, his mouth falling open and shut as he panics.

"I am Experiment 203," I repeat, trying - but failing - to pull back more.

"No, your... your name is Y/N," he says, his hands settling on the restraints around my wrists. His own hands vibrate for a while before my shocks drop off my wrists and land at my feet.

Once again, I try to tug against my collar to get further away from him. This isn't real, this is a test, and I'm failing. I don't want to fail, I don't want to hurt, I want my chocolate. Bart steps closer, his hands moving up to my last restraint.

"No! Go away!" I yell, shoving him away from me. From my overuse today, my strength isn't super good, and he only ends up on the other side of the room instead of through the wall like I meant. That's not good. I definitely failed this test. I'm not getting my chocolate.

"Bart!" Someone yells, quickly joining us in the test room. Just like last time, it's Birdman, in the same repulsive blue spandex suit. This dumb bird. He needs to go away. They all need to go away. I'm too tired to pass this test. It's not fair. "Y/N!" Birdman yells, standing up after checking on the speedster.

"Go! Away!" I yell again, trying to put more strength behind each word.

Birdman's face falls as he snaps open one of his pockets. "I'm so sorry," he says, pulling out a green shiny rock. I am so sick of kryptonite, I'm so sick of people, of men, of heroes, of life. "It'll get better," he says, pushing the rock against my head. The darkness I've grown used to envelopes my mind, making me grateful for the rest even though I'm furious with the world.

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Light peeks through my eyelids, pulling me from sleep like usual. Unlike usual, this light is a lot brighter than the small bulb in my pod. I take my time opening my eyes, eating up the last few seconds of sleep. Who knows the next time I get to sleep? The next time I get to rest. What do I have to do today? Where I'm even at. It's important to enjoy the peace when I have it, especially since I don't get a lot of it anymore. Plus, who knows where Luther has transported me to or what this new place has in store for me?

When I finally open my eyes, I'm met with a pale yellow wall. It takes a second, but I realize I'm not in my pod. I'm in a bed, with blankets on top of me and pillows behind my head and back. What kind of test is this? What does Luther want me to do in this situation?

I glance around the room, being met with different furniture. Luther must have really gotten into my head because this room is an exact couple of my old bedroom, from my old life, from when I was a hero and not Luther's pet, his weapon. Fear and anger start stirring in my chest as I take in the space. I don't know what I'm supposed to do, I don't know why Luther is using this room, I don't know why I'm here.

"Are you okay? Do you want me to go get Conner?" A voice says from next to me, causing my fear to overthrow my anger. I snap my head to the right, being met with an exhausted-looking Bart who's sprawled out in a lounge chair. Out of instinct, I try to tug myself away from him, but I get stopped by restraints around my wrist. "Oh shit, ya, sorry. You kept trying to fight us as we were giving you medical care, so Nightwing put restraints on," Bart says, leaning forward and snapping the restraints off my wrists before placing them on the nightstand. "Nightwing doesn't want them off until you get a psychological scan, but he can fuck off for all that I care."

I stay silent, frozen in my spot. I am really confused. What is this test supposed to be about? Am I supposed to fight Bart? Is that what Luther wants?

Bart settles back into his chair, his posture forgotten as he slumps, and his head propped up so he can look at me. His eyes are red and puffy, his cheeks still wet and his breath still hiccupping as he breathes.

"Why are you crying?" I ask, turning my attention away from him. My chest is tight, like it used to be when I would look at him; when he was real, when he wasn't just a dream or an illusion for Luther to use against me. This isn't real, Bart isn't real, this is a test. I need to figure out the answer.

"A lot of reasons," he says, his eyes still burning into the side of my face. He isn't real, this is a test. Luther wants an answer, the correct answer. Focus. "For starters, you're finally safe. I can see you, hear your voice, finally touch you again," he says, leaning forward so most of him is propped up on the bed, next to my legs. I turn my attention back towards him, watching as his hands hover by my face. Is he going to hit me? Scratch me? Break my nose? "Can I touch you?" he asks, his eyes jumping around my face.

"What?" I ask before I can stop myself. Of course, he can touch me, I don't get a say in it. I don't get a say in anything. People - especially Luther - get to do as they please. I either let them and get it over with, or I get a bigger punishment for trying to stop it.

"Can I touch you?" He repeats, his hands still and his eyes blinking rapidly in an attempt to push back the growing tears. "I don't... know if you remember, but I promised I would ask before I touched you."

I do remember that, somewhat. "Oh," I whisper, looking away from him. I do not like this test. It's worse than any of the other ones I've done. I glance at him before focusing on the wall in front of me again. "I don't want to be touched."

"Okay," he murmurs, dropping his hands to the bed, making sure not to come in contact with me.

I snap my head towards him, looking him over, waiting for the punishment for saying no, but nothing comes. Bart just sits there, looking at me, repeatedly blinking even though it doesn't stop the water from dripping down his face. "You're not going to punish me?" I ask slowly, confusion fogging my head. Why isn't he hitting me? Punishing me? Hurting me? I purposely failed the test and yet nothing is happening. How am I supposed to focus on my test if I'm not hurt? I need the pain to remind me this is fake.

"Of course not. It's your body, if you don't want me touching it, I won't," he answers, leaning back in his chair with his face buried in his hands.

I watch carefully as he rubs his face and pushes out a big sigh, a quiet scream squeezing out with it. "It's Luther's body," I mumble, scrunching up the bedding in my hands. Luther's body, Luther's pet, Experiment 203, that is who I am, what I am. I am a weapon, not a human.

"It's your body, Y/N. It belongs to you, it is yours," Bart answers, his tone exhausted but firm. "You are a person, with basic human rights." I look back at the boy next to me, his arm resting across his face as he looks at the ceiling. Tears roll off his jaw, colliding with the chair under him. Why does he keep crying? He gets to see me, big deal, it's not like he cares... right? Maybe this isn't a test, maybe this is real.

"Bart?" His name feels weird in my mouth after all this time. It feels bittersweet. It almost hurts saying it.

"Y/N?" He calls back, his arm dropping from his face and his head lifting to look at me.

"Is this real or is it another test?" It's dumb to ask that. If it's a test I instantly fail and I'm going to have a long, painful night on that stupid table.

"This is real," he answers softly, shifting in his chair. "Move over, please - if you want to! You don't have to."

I look at him for a while, watching him watching me, before scooting over in the bed. Once I'm moved, Bart climbs into the bed next to me, making sure not to touch any part of my body as he settles in beside me. I settle on focusing on the wall again, letting my ears bounce around this place. There's a lot of talking, a lot of crying, throughout this place. Conner and Birdman are yelling at each other, about me, about my restraints. This is real. Bart is real. Everything is real. I settle on focusing on Bart's heart.

"I don't remember your heart being so fast," I say, turning my attention to him for a second.

"I'm just nervous," Bart murmurs, his gaze rolling over the room.

"Why are you nervous?"

He stays quiet for a while, gaze still running around before settling on me. "I'm nervous about what happened to... you... I'm nervous about how it's going to affect you now that you're back home, back safe, with me... I'm really nervous you don't love me anymore."

"Do you not love me anymore?" I ask, blinking like Bart was earlier as I feel the tears forming in my eyes. Luther was right, my thoughts were right. Bart doesn't want me anymore. He did move on; he did forget about me. This is just him enforcing that. I was stupid to think for even a second that things were going to be okay, that someone other than Luther was going to care about me again.

"Of course, I still love you!" Bart yells, causing me to jerk away in response. My eyes snap to him, making it more difficult to not cry. "You have been the only thing I could think of for the past two months. The only thing keeping me going. All my decisions, my actions, have been what I think would be best for you, what would be best to get you back. If I wasn't looking for you, I was curled up in your bed, thinking of you, clinging to your scent, your space, the only part of you I still had."

Bart's face is scrunched up, eyebrows forward in anger, and hot tears rolling down his face again. He opens his mouth to say something else but ends up turning his head away from me. I sit still, waiting for him to turn back, as my own tears spill over. When he does, his face is relaxed, and his breathing is deep. "I'm... I am sorry for yelling. I am not mad at you, I am mad at the situation, which isn't your fault." Once again, he opens his mouth to say something but ends up closing it again. His jaw rolls for a while the almost silent clicking sound filling my ears. "I really love you and... I am mad that Luther hurt you, and I'm mad I lost you, and I'm mad I couldn't save you sooner. None of which is your fault."

I let out a hum, turning my head forward, filling my vision with the pale yellow of my bedroom wall again. "I love you too," I whisper, sliding my hand on top of his. Instantly, Bart laces our fingers together. I am safe, I am loved, and this is real. Bart is real. I will be okay.

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#bart allen #impulse #bart allen oneshot #impulse oneshot #young justice #young justice oneshot #young justice x reader #bart allen x reader #impulse x reader

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safetycar-restart · 6 months

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https://www.tumblr.com/safetycar-restart/726211490572648448/i-know-weve-discussed-collars-in-the-ds-au-and?source=share

Would loves a little thing about marc trying to keep his necklace on if you would

YES YES ABSOLUTELY.

So this is in reference to ask I answered about Marc in the D/S AU where he has a necklace he wears as a collar that he never ever takes off. He has formal collars that he wears to events or when he wants it to be very clear that he's collared. He'll also sometimes wear his formal collars to doctor's appointments, because it just adds an extra level of comfort. But he ALWAYS has his necklace on, to him that's his real collar.

I also mentioned that when he has surgeries, you have to get him some string that you tie loosely around his neck so that he can still have something on, because before his first surgery he had a complete meltdown because he had to take his necklace off and then when he woke up he was desperately clutching at his neck trying to figure out where his necklace went. So I'm gonna expand on that a little.

(Also I am ALWAYS willing to discuss Marc in the D/S AU, and fabio. And enea. Just MotoGP D/S AU. It's always a fave)

Firstly, Marc doesn't actually realise he'd have to take his necklace off before surgery? Logically it makes complete sense, but he somehow never considered it.

You go into the hospital with him, of course, and he asks you to put one of his formal collars on beforehand. He is well aware that he'll have to remove his formal collar before surgery, but that's fine. He just wants the little bit of comfort as he heads in.

You sit in his hospital room with him after he gets checked in, help him get changed into his own and then gently remove his formal collar. You kiss his neck gently and promise him that you'll be right there when he wakes up and that you'll be there throughout his recovery. He gets a little teary eyed then, thinking of how many years you've been his dom and you've been through all his world titles with him and now you'll go through this with him too.

That's when the surgical team arrives to take him away, they tell him he has to take his necklace off and he freezes. He double checks with them that he has to, and they tell him that it's metal so it has to be removed.

Instantly he's turning to you and breathing hard.

"I'll keep it safe for you," you tell him, like that would make any difference but it doesn't.

He's shaking and crying within a few minutes, and then more people arrive to see what's taking so long which only makes it worse. He hasn't been without his necklace ever since you gave it to him, and now he must remove it? Now, when he's most scared, he must go without his collar? He can't.

You end up having to just take it off as quickly as you can, ignoring his protests because it has to happen.

When he wakes up from surgery, the first thing he does is move his other hand up to his neck and then he startles awake. He doesn't remember the pre-surgery meltdown, but he does know that he doesn't have his necklace on right then and it scares him so much.

He tries to get up, scaring his entire medical team because he absolutely should not be moving yet. But he won't calm down, and his doctor ends up having to call you into the recovery room and bring his necklace with. He calms the moment he has the necklace back on, promptly falling asleep.

So yeah, you always bring some string to tie around his neck for his future surgeries because no one wants to relive that.

#sub!marc #mm #gn!reader #d/s au

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bygiornogiovanna · 2 years

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You laughed as you and your friends stepped out from highschool's gate. You just finished all of the exams from this year and passed them too, so each one of you was happy.

"What's with that face? Come on, let's go get ice cream! We all got over 90% on our math tests! There's no reason to be sad!" your boyfriend, Fugo, said while punching you playfully in the shoulder.

"Yeah, I know, but something feels off...Something bad will happen and I don't like the fact that I don't know what." you replied, munching on your lower lip. You honestly didn't know what could go wrong.

Everything went really good ever since you got away from him. You restarted your studying, reunited with your friends, and even your love-life was good. Fugo was treating you right and you really couldn't ask for someone better.

"Hey, it's fine. If that's what you're thinking, he won't come back. You're safe now" Fugo whispered in your ear. He was the only one who knew about Giorno and the fact that he kidnapped you.

"Hey guys, come on, we are going to get ice cream!" Narnacia yelled, running with the rest of your group. "We'll stay here for a while, Y/ N's feet hurt, but get us two chocolate ones!" your boyfriend yelled after them and Narancia nodded.

As you two were approaching a bench, you noticed his arms tightening around you a little. You thought it was just his way of comforting you, but as soon as you saw a well known blonde hair, you froze. Giorno was casually leaning against a motorcycle, a lolipop stick resting between his lips.

"He's here. Fugo. Fugo! He's here." you whispered panicked, shaking your lover, trying to stop him from getting closer. "Oi, Giorno! I brought them here, just as you requested." Fugo yelled, basically pushing you to him, as your legs refused to move;

The other blonde turned around swiftly, a sadistically sweet smile covering his face now as he catched you right before you fell. "Finally! Thank you, Fugo. I was starting to wonder if you and the guys betrayed me." Giorno said, his grip on you now so tight you couldn't move. You were just a shaking mess, confused by everything, but most of all scared. Request? Giorno knows your friends? Betrayal? Order? Why were you in your kidnapper's arms again?

"That's not the case. Oh and, I'm sorry Y/N, I really loved you, but orders are orders." This sounded way colder than it was meant to be.

Your head was spinning. What was happening? How did they know each other. "Fugo, please tell me this is a joke. Please tell me this is not him, this is only my imagination, please..." you cried out, not realising when tears started rolling down your face.

Fugo's heart clenched seeing you so desperate, but he really had no choice. Giorno had him under his feet, as well as the other boys. And, when it came to you...They weren't empty threats. The Don was a man of word and they all knew it. Pannacotta was in love with you, but he loved his life more then risk it for someone he met a few months ago.

"You are dismissed, Fugo. Thank you for your help." Giorno said coldly as if you weren't struggling and crying for Fugo in his arms. The aforementioned nodded and shamefully left you in the arms of your worst nightmare. Screaming and crying out for help wouldn't work. Everybody feared him. "Please be a bad dream..." you sobbed quietly as you felt him shush you.

"This isn't a dream, amore mio. Oh God, it took them so long, but you have no idea how happy I am that you're finally mine again."

A/N: all of my posts are flopping :(

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gamerbearmira · 11 months

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HELLO I AM BACK! So sorry for being gone so long I got busy with work and my sister had a baby so I've been super busy but I am back now so... BABY MIRA PART 4!

'Casita did this?!' the feeling of betrayal was overwhelming to Mirabel as she wailed in the crook of her papis shoulder ignoring the way her abuela started to argue with Casita getting no response also ignoring when her mama started to argue with her abuela for being so loud. Casita was one of her closest family members and to hear from her own tiles that she did this HURT. Mirabel didn't understand why? Why would Casita do this to her? Did she not like her anymore? Did she ever like her? Did Casita want her to be different from how she was? What did she do to deserve this?!

"Oh Miraboo its ok Papi's here everything is going to be ok Casita... Casita is bringing food and then you'll be full and then we can go back to sleep you must be so tired Mi pequeña mariposa." Her father says all this in a hushed voice and he starts bouncing and swaying slightly trying to soothe her. The combo makes her stop crying as hard but she was still whimpering 'No, No sleep I need answers! I need-'

"CASITA YOU ANSWER ME RIGHT NOW WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DID THIS!" it seems her abuela has lost all patients as her anger yell cuts through her internal ranting before it really started. The loud noise makes her flinch and she starts to cry softly she feels her papi start rubbing her back as well as the bounce/sway movement he has going comforts her in a way she can't really understand but she stops crying and stops whimpering "Mama I know you're angry but lower your voice you're scaring Mirabel!" Her Mama hisses at her abuela clearly near the end of her own patience.

before her abuela can respond the sound of rushing tiles pushing something can be heard and at the still open door is a serving tray with a bottle of milk it's pushed forward and Casita claps her tiles together saying 'there we are! food for mi pequeña mariposa especial!' Casita pushes the serving tray towards her mama who is right next to abuela near the door as she got closer to her when she started to argue with her about her volume. Mirabel isn't paying attention to that though. She is paying attention to what Casita just said, what Casita just called her, her special little butterfly.... Casita has never given nicknames before.... So Casita does like her? She isn't disappointed and doesn't wants her to change who she is? Then why do this? Why make her restart her life all over again!

Before she could think about it any longer she feels herself being passed from her Papi shoulder to her Mama cradled arms with a rusty ease that showed that though it has been years they never truly forgot how to take care of their baby. Before she can really register the change in position and start crying (why she doesn't know but she's been doing a lot of things for reasons that are unknown to her sooo...) she finds the bottle in her mouth in a rush and a small bit of warm milk in her mouth she finds herself sucking it down on instinct just now realizing how hungry she was. She finishes the bottle quickly almost too quickly causing her to spit up on her mama a little bit as she almost choked herself "oh Mira I'm so sorry you must have been so hungry." Her Mama sounds a little upset but it's not like she knew her youngest would turn into a baby and need to be fed every few hours.

"What do you mean you did it Casita?" She hears her abuela ask Casita in a forceful and angry tone. Casita wastes no time to respond this time

'I mean I used some of the power given to me to undo the mistakes of that." She gestures to the candle with a wooden plank from the door 'Idiot who thinks it's a good idea to hide important information from people. Like the fact that Mirabel apparently does have a gift! Which it still won't tell me what it is!' there's a small angry rumble from the tiles in front of the door they stop after a moment and perk up a bit 'But I have made it agree to a redo! Yes a redo is exactly what we need!' the tiles clap happily together like Casita has just revealed something wonderful. There's a moment of still silence as the ones who can understand what was said soak in what was just relayed to them. Her abuela looks from the tiles to the candle shock on her face opening and closing her mouth unable to say a word.

'I have a gift......' the thought brought Mirabel a tingling feeling all over like butterflies kissing her skin, like ants crawling all over and biting her, like ice and fire coming together to create a burning cold that hurt and soothed all at once 'I have a gift.... Or had? What is my gift! Does it not count now that I'm a baby? Do I have the gift now?' the thoughts were confusing and it all was hard to wrap her head around. This whole situation is confusing and overwhelming and hard to wrap her head around honestly. Her mama starts rocking her slightly, anxious by her own mama's behavior she hears her mama start to ask her abuela what was said but with her belly full and the night's activities the act of rocking quickly starts to lull Mirabel to sleep. Right as she closes her eyes she looks over to the candle and sees in the smoke two little words. Two little words that she's waited 10 years for from that candle.

'I'm sorry.'

OMG HIIIIIIII I MISSED YOU <333

Really I did. Hope you’re doing well and taking a rest from work AND CONGRATS ON THE NEW BABAY⁉️⁉️⁉️

Ok so i read it. SO COOL OMG <3 Ngl I can kinda understand why Alma is yelling, I mean it’s a pretty stressful situation and no one’s clued in BUT then again, you can’t go around screaming. With a baby present, in the middle of the night no less. Aside from that, shout to Julieta and Agustín. They’ve managed to (somewhat) keep it together. Personally, I’d break down crying in confusion 💀

Also Mirabel was so lost. Handling emotions she couldn’t even control. And then they shoved a bottle in her mouth, but you know, she was full and it made her quiet down so whatever. She was probably relieved when Casita didn’t randomly start hating her. And then. The candle. Mf in a redemption arc (as far as I can tell) and I’m all for it.

CAN’T WAIT TO SEE MORE (if you have more <3) RAHHHHHH‼️‼️‼️

Mirabel to Casita:

#my asks are open #my asks #encanto #encanto au #au #encanto mirabel #encanto alma #encanto julieta #encanto agustín #de aged mirabel au #de aged mirabel

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meeludrawz · 1 year

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Fears

So while I'm working on a bigger TMNT thing (Blossom knows teehee) Have Bulan (Leo's gf) while she's in the beginning of her second pregnancy: -------------------------------------------------- EDIT June 11 2023: HEY uh, I forgot I made this oneshot so erm, let's say this happens during her second pregnancy, a year or 2 after "Coma" Sitting at the table, the green tree python silently played with the food on her plate. She was staring at her food, not saying a thing and not even listening to what the others were doing. She was stuck in her thoughts.

Raph, who was clearly not the only one seeing that, turned to Leo and spoke in a low voice: "You need to talk to her" He interrupted himself as he took another bite of his food. The blue-masked turtle sighed, a little bit annoyed. First, it was April, then Donnie and now Raph? He knew it, he knew he had to talk to his girlfriend but he wasn't sure how. "She hasn't been eating a lot in the past few days, Leo" "Raph" He started, a little bit too loud. He calmed himself a bit before continuing. "I know"

A few moments later, once everyone had left the table, Leo was the one doing the dishes this time. When he grabbed Bulan's plate, he realized that she probably ate two bites or maybe even none. She told him that she wasn't hungry but this was seriously starting to worry him and the others.

He tried asking April, Karai and even Mikey to see if she said anything concerning to them. Turns out that she did not and all that concern was slowly consuming him from the inside. But first, he needed to clean the dishes and then he would go and chat with her. Around 30-40mins later he finished cleaning the dishes. It was late so he figured that Bulan was probably already in bed. He walked to his bedroom and just like he thought, she was in bed. Her eyes opened, she was staring at the wall. "Hey, I noticed that you were acting uh.. A bit.. Odd lately, you can talk to me, you know that, right? I'm here for you"

The tree snake python sat up and looked at him with teary eyes. Leo approached her and grabbed her shoulders. "Hey, hey, hey shh, whatever is happening, it's okay, I'm here" He tried to reassure her with a hug as she started crying. The blue-masked turtle waited for her sobs to slow down before asking what was going on. "Ican't- Ican'tbesick Idon'twannabesick Ihatebeingsick AndwhatifIgetcomplications And-" She hiccupped between some sobs. "Andwhatifthebabywon'tsurvive and whatifIdieduringlabour Andifthebabydoessurvive willIbeagoodmother I'msomessymostofthetime and-" She hiccupped once again. "AndIforgetthingssooftentoo WhatifIforgettofeedthebaby orevenchangetheirdiaper and-" Leo interrupted her, his eyes widening at all the information that was dumped on him. "Woah okay, okay, slow down" He rubbed her arms as he tried to calm her down. "What are you saying?" She hesitated for a few minutes but eventually looked straight into Leo's eyes. "I'm.. I'm pregnant" Right after saying that, Bulan immediately looked away. Since he was now holding her hands, she couldn't run away or hide under the bed's covers. The only thing she could do was wait. "W-What..?" The blue turtle gasped so silently that even he had a hard time hearing it. "You're- We-" He stumbled on his own words. "We're- I'm- I'm going to be a father?" Bulan didn't even have time to answer as he hugged her tight. She eventually gave in and hugged him back. The green tree python restarted sobbing silently in his arms.

An hour or two later, they were both lying in bed, not able to sleep at all. "Is- Is that why you won't eat? Because you were too scared of my reaction?" "No.." "Then why?" He looked at her while holding one of her hands. "You should eat, it's important, and even more now that you're pregnant." She didn't turn to him, she kept looking at the ceiling. "I'm scared to get sick.." "Bulan.. It has been 2 years now since Kenji was born and Elina never got sick. She's even pregnant of her second kid and she still isn't sick" Leo pointed out. Bulan, with teary eyes, turned to Leo. "Have you seen how sick Mars was the first few months?" Leo smiled. "Yeah, but just like Raph, she's strong. She went through it and now look, they got twins" Not really reassured, Bulan looked back up to the ceiling. Leo sighed and hugged her tight. "I'll be with you through everything, hell I can even miss some patrols for you. I'll be there and if you want, tomorrow we'll ask Donnie for some "anti-sick tricks", okay?" Bulan pet his arms that were wrapped around her and smiled. "Okay" "I love you, you know that? And I'm not going anywhere" Leo whispered as he embraced her until they both fell asleep. ---------------------------------------------- Come get yo pill @ackalice

#tmnt #tmnt oc #tmnt 2012 #my writing #tmnt oneshot

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clickonmedotexe · 1 year

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Rex is shoved against the wall by a blur of shadows, hands wrapping around his wrists and throat before he even realizes what's going on. In a second he's pinned down and the pressure on his windpipe is getting harsher while he thrashes against the hold.

"How dare you touch her. I'm going to kill you."

He knows the voice, having possessed the speaker's body once back when he himself was part of the very virus which had tormented him the last few weeks.

Mason Paines, the friend of Thursday - of course he would've heard about their earlier run in. Except Rex thought Thursday had him better under control. Maybe she sent him to find Rex after deciding the demonic ghostly beast gutting him wasn't enough.

"Wasn't- me-" Rex chokes out. He kicks at Maso but the other isn't fazed in the slightest. He's stronger than Rex, both physically and because the burning rage lends him some extra strength, enough that Maso's certain he can pop his head off if he just pushes harder.

"I know you threatened her before, you slimy revolting pervert. I'm going to mangle you and feed you the parts I chopped off until you choke on them, Rex, I'll make what Alice did to you look like a walk in the fucking park." Maso is squeezing his throat harder, ignoring Rex's frantic attempts to escape.

He can't wrench his hands free and his kicks do nothing. He tries to knee Maso in the stomach, manages to do it once (Maso doesn't blink), and the second time is blocked by Maso's shadow which has wrapped around his body protectively, shielding him from further attacks.

"I was- possessed-" The older man is turning purple, black spots crowding over his vision as his head pounds painfully, demanding to be given oxygen. He's either going to faint or die and neither of those sound particularly fun right now - especially after all the restarts he just went through while Vir took his body for a joyride.

"I don't care." Maso leans in, glaring at Rex with a bottomless hatred - he won't be satisfied until he's certain Rex has suffered as much as he's done to Thursday. Even if it wasn't him. Maso can't bring himself to care. Right now Rex is the face of everything bad that had ever happened to his friend. All the injuries, the rejections, the pain, the abandonment and the tortures she's faced, Maso turned away from the instigators as best he could to focus on damage control instead but the more times she got attacked the more resentment built up inside of him until finally it had to snap.

Rex was the last straw.

Even if he wasn't the one to leave her for dead or maim her with a chainsaw or even cut her tongue out, he was far from innocent and Maso doubts it really matters if he's hurting Rex for allegedly being forced to torture Thursday to death, or if he's hurting him for all the times he did actually torture Thursday's friends, possessed innocents and ruined friendships with his manipulation.

"You deserve to die, you motherfucker. You deserve to have everything taken away from you - especially that family you brainwashed into loving you. Fuck you. I'm going to flay you alive, I'm going to tear you into a million little pieces and set them on fire you fucking asshole, I hate you so much! Who do you think you are, ruining everyone's lives? I'm going to tear your dick off and make you eat it, you perv-"

Mason Paines.

Maso has gotten angrier with every word, bitter tears of frustration and rage welling up in his eyes as he slams Rex into the wall repeatedly with each threat. Rex is too weak to fight back and with how he's rapidly losing consciousness, he thinks he might've imagined the voice if it weren't for how Maso paused too.

Put him down. Let me take a look.

Maso grits his teeth, but obeys. He yanks Rex forward and kicks him to the ground. Rex falls and starts hacking for air immediately, wheezing out of his now bruised windpipe.

"He's disgusting, Icarus. No one does anything about him because they're either too scared or too enamored by him. He needs to- to die!"

Hush. The voice commands and reluctantly Maso falls silent, deciding to stand there and glare at Rex instead. There's someone else standing in the room with them, their presence as thick as fog even though Rex can't see the speaker. He can hear their voice in his head and out loud, and he knows that whoever this is is far from the demons and entities he's met before. They aren't even like the god who had possessed him earlier and changed him to his whim.

This presence is older, powerful. It feels as if for the first time he's in the same room with Capital G God.

Except Maso is talking casually to 'God' and there's no singing choir of celestials accompanying them.

If Rex squints hard enough, he might be able to make out a ever shifting figure shining in blue standing above him, but looking at it felt wrong, like he's glimpsing into another plane of reality.

Rex Sovereign. The voice says. Another broken soul spreading pain and Despair where it goes. I am surprised Calypso has not taken interest in you.

Maso scoffs. Rex has no idea what they're talking about.

"I t-told you." He rubs at his throat, which hurts terribly. "I didn't touch Thursday. It wasn't my idea, for fucks sakes. Just listen to me."

You have hurt many people. You're a parasite. Where you go, you attempt to lay ownership in people's lives, for better or for worse. Yet your courage is all a lie. In reality, you are so very afraid.

Rex suddenly realizes how exposed he is. He can't hide from this being who is looking directly at him. Not his mask. At him.

In an instant it can see everything. Every insecurity he ever had, every moment of weakness, every scar on his soul and what story came along with it.

He instinctively tries to hide but there's no place he can go to shield himself from the humiliation of being on display.

You fear you are as unlovable as you were made to believe when you were young, so you attempt to gain people's affections through manipulation and lies, you crave intimacy so you look for it in the wrong places because you cannot bear losing control. You believe yourself to be strong but you cannot bend so you are brittle. The slightest pressure would snap you in half. If others found out the truth about you, you would hide in shame as you have done from the ones you claim to be your family.

Rex says nothing, hands curled into fists. He wants to deny it but no words come out in his defense.

You have changed. There is hope inside of you, which is your saving grace. You are lucky I did not stumble upon you sooner or you would no longer be as you are. I will be back for you, Rex Sovereign. Go to your family. Do not lay a hand on a single person in the meantime or I will take you away from your loved ones in an instant. You won't have the chance to say goodbye.

The being turns to address Maso.

I will take a look at your friend. Do not hesitate to call me again if you require assistance.

Maso nods and watches as Icarus fades away, gone from their current perception but around in case of anything. He glances down at Rex who looks like someone put him through the wringer several times.

"I guess my threats are useless now in light of Icarus'." Maso says dryly. He's still mad, even if he's better at controlling it now. "Don't go near Thursday again. Don't even look at her."

Rex purses his lips, exhausted and annoyed. He gets up, making sure to stay far enough away from Maso in case the other tries to jump him again and shoots him a bitter look.

"Tell her it wasn't me, it was Vir. And I tried to warn her. If she'd have run like I told her to, maybe she could've found help before it attacked her."

Maso scowls darkly.

Rex doesn't say anything else. He just turns and heads back to his Office, like Icarus suggested he do.

Maso watches him go for a moment, scoffs and heads off as well. He figures he should let Thursday know about what happened and make her aware of Icarus' intentions to visit.

#drabble #＜/error＞#neverendingparable #celestial cataclysm

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kitkatt0430 · 1 year

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Okay, so time has come for me to watch Mask of the Red Death part 2 - here's hoping this goes better than the last episode.

Stream turned white as soon as I went full screen. I feel like this is an omen. Anyway, let's restart and try again.

So far so good, I can now see the previously on. So full of plots I don't care about compared to so few the ones I do.

Okay, so I guess we're starting with the CCPD, but it's hard to care about the CCPD with David and Joe gone. I can never remember any of the officers though I recognize at least a few background recurring characters and Kramer just hasn't really grown on me all that much. That said, I'm glad someone remembered that Kramer has powers because hey, she uses copying Roy's powers to pretty good effect, even though doesn't work for long.

Allegra arguing with Hartley, Jaco, and Keith (Goldface, I just got tired of using his nickname all the time) over leaving Blaine behind feels hollow because odds are Blaine isn't dead anyway. Like I said last time, no body? Probably not dead.

Everyone's tired and scared, Barry's been nerfed, but at least Iris has her head on straight. Keith speaks for me when he says "I always liked you" to her. :D

Iris is definitely the brains of the operation. That said, if all the power was basically out, how did they get the tech working to interface with Cecile's powers. That was a big problem last episode and no one ever fixed it. Maybe something hit the cutting room floor that shouldn't have?

Cecile feels that someone is out there in lots of pain and oh apparently Blaine's still alive. Surprise. Anyway, he's clearly been tortured and I do get why Barry wants to rescue him. If there is one thing Barry has that is stronger than his speed, it's his guilt complex.

Khione - Well fine if you won't save Blaine, I will.

Hartley - I cannot let my new friend-shaped person go into danger without me.

*snicker* I mean, that's basically how fast Hartley caves and he goes from angry/annoyed voice to his softer voice. Finally, Hartley and Khione friendship showing up again.

I mean... maybe there's some guilt about Caitlin mixed in there, but Hartley never liked Caitlin in this timeline. Respected her, clearly yes since he went directly to where he thought she'd be for help a few episodes earlier, but doubtful they ever got along well. And now she's gone, so they'll never have that chance. But I do think he's just genuinely fond of Khione for herself.

Jaco folds next. And then Keith, but he's not happy about it.

Kramer - You won't be able to hack our satellite. 'Cause ARGUS upgraded it.

First... since when does the CCPD have it's own satellite????

Second, ARGUS' firewall crumples like tissue paper. There is a joke there about Cisco's inability to secure shit.

third... where the heck did all the Red Death suits come from? Did they spawn like rabbits between episodes???

Barry is right to tell Khione 'no' when they're going into danger and she has zero combat skills.

Since when has Allegra had x-ray vision. Was this something she gained when I wasn't watching last season? Or at least had foreshadowed??? (Probably not on both counts.)

Oooh, Hartley's enhanced hearing comes up again.

Jaco - Feels like a trap to me. Feel like a trap to anyone else?

He is immediately correct. Red Death arrives to monologue!

Okay, so the suits are psychic manifestations apparently? How does Barry even know that? But then how does Ryan know about the vision of Savitar stabbing Barry that almost killed him two seasons ago???

Oh, hey, Grodd is here. And apparently he's connected to evil Ryan now? And the Gorilla City gorillas are gone now, so lets feed that guilt complex of Barry's huh?

And then the band with the Rogues breaks up. Can't blame 'em, but I know they'll be back later.

Iris and Khione talking is lovely. Iris gives Khione some good advice. I just wish we'd gotten these interactions with Caitlin instead.

Was Khione kissing Blaine to activate her healing powers on him (or whatever that was) necessary? I swear if we get Khione/Mark Blaine as an end game ship I will be so fucking pissed off.

Time for a Joe West pep talk for Barry. Or for Barry to pep talk Joe? I do love their father-son relationship. But I knew that Joe wouldn't be a series regular anymore this season, so I suspect this is him bowing out. Or the start of it anyway.

I do love how much use Nash's teleporter is getting in these two episodes. I miss the Wells characters, but it does feel a little like Nash is still there helping them. Just a bit.

Grodd blaming Barry for being alone isn't really fair - Barry isn't at fault for that and it's not like Grodd ever let Barry know what he'd discovered about the Gorilla City gorillas. And I think on some level he knows that and that, more than Barry's speech, is what sways Grodd. He can look into Red Death's mind. But he can look into Barry's too.

Red Death's episode long break down continues. And somehow Barry got his speed back from Grodd? Whatever.

More speedster running/chase scene/fighting. It is pretty fun the way it's done, though. And the Rogues showed back up to help Barry, as I predicted. :D

So does real Ryan! Woo, so good to finally see her. And she nullifies evil Ryan's speed for a Batwoman vs Red Death fight.

Jaco - We'll help out anytime.

Hartley - Ehhh...

Jaco - Anytime.

Hartley - Okay, why not.

I... don't know that I liked the cheesy fourth wall breaking joke the Rogues ended on though.

Chester fanboying over real Ryan is hilarious. And I like how Ryan and Iris low key fangirling over each other was cute too.

So where was real Ryan all this time? I... don't think anyone ever said.

There is so much unexplained in this episode.

Joe leaving to raise Jenna is the right call, but I hate that he's apparently semi leaving Cecile to do it? He's done the single parent raising a daughter before. He deserves to raise Jenna with her mom too. Not just on the weekends. And how do they afford any of this anyway? Joe is retired, so what is their income even looking like?

So much unexplained.

Oh no. Oooooh no. Chester/Allegra is happening. Make it stop. They still have no chemistry. At least Barry is still his usual oblivious self about it.

I... do not like how they find out Iris is pregnant. I mean, it is a bit funny that Khione didn't realize they didn't know yet when she blurted it out, but still. Iris deserves better than the writers are giving her once again.

Anyway, that's it for the episode. It was better paced then the last one and I enjoyed it more, but there were a lot of plot holes in there. So many plot holes. I can't say I really like how the Red Death arc ended.

But Hartley, Jaco, and Keith were fun and it seems like they'll show up again later in the season? Here's hoping anyway.

I feel like a number of things in this episode would have gone better with foreshadowing. Grodd's involvement, Allegra's x-ray vision, the Red Death clones (psychic whatevers)... And other things just needed an actual damn explanation. Especially real Ryan showing up out of nowhere at the last minute. Where was she? In the timeline that Red Death came from? Took a wrong turn in Albuquerque? Where was she this whole time??? We know she was missing, so what the hell?

I think the biggest problem is they were trying to do too much at once in these two episodes and thanks to how poorly paced part one was, they squashed too much into part two.

Anyway, teaser for the next ep shows discussions about the pregnancy happening early - so there's probably concern that the baby she's pregnant with won't be Nora? And then Khione training her powers, which seem to be healing but cold? I'd be more interested if the person training her wasn't Blaine.

His first intention after Khione was born was to kill and replace her with Frost. So Blaine helping Khione figure out her powers is not what I'd call a great idea. And it looks like we may be heading into Khione/Blaine territory, which... him using Khione as a replacement goldfish for Frost, even hypothetically, creeps me the fuck out.

So I might not watch the next episode. Or i might just skim it/skip around looking for good parts. I dunno.

#kitkatt0430 watches #the flash #season 9 spoilers #the mask of the red death part 2

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obsidiancreates · 2 years

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The Pig and The Rhino Liveblog

Cool like a mongoose? What?

OH SHIT SHREDDER FUCKED BEEBOP UP- HE FUCKED ROCKSTEADY UP TOO SHIT

They agreed to serving Shredder very easily. Though BeeBop is right, employment options are indeed limited now, but uh I don't think Shredder pays his guys.

So this is an episode all about BeeBop and Rocksteady? Coo- NO MY STREAMING SI- oh good it just restarted, didn't crash. Phew.

Hehe. Crognard.

I HAVE THE ENERGY PFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

SO WIfi still isn't a factor in anything I guess.

There's... still movies playing? The Kraang like movies?

WHY DID YOU PAIR DONNIE WITH APRIL- DONNIE DON'T WIGGLE YOUR NON-EYEBROWS AND CASEY CHILL OUT, YOU BOYS BOTH DISREGUARD APRIL'S AGENCY IN THIS LOVE TRIANGLE SO OFTEN

Awww Mikey gets to see the rollercoaster, yay!

Well I know the retromutagen doesn't fucking work because for half a second in Heart of Evil she turns into a snake again, so.

"You ugly" "I'm a rhino"

THE TURTLES- MAYBE IF YOU HADN'T TRIED TO MESS WITH SHREDDER THIS WOULDN'T HAVE HAPPENED ACTUALLY

That tiny "Yehoo" was so funny though

How do you already know what turtles smell li- IT'S DONNIE AND APRIL NO

Bad ninja-ing, Donnie, he's so loud.

A LITTLE MUTATED?!?!?!?! DONNIE HE'S PUMBA NOW

God I hope it's glue

Drop him like an ex-girlfriend? Oh he's totally gay and insecure about it

BO BLADE BO BLADE DONNIE WANTS TO MURDER dammit he got shot

PFFFFFFFFFF "No worries, they were set to stun." WHY WAS HE SO FRIENDLY ABOUT THAT

Pfff fun movie was showing.

CASEY AND RAPH CASEY AND RAPH

Casey don't compliment the enemy baby

BAD PLAN RAPH YEAH THERE WE GO CASEY THE LONG RANGE BOY nope he went close attack OH SHIT RAPH'S GETTING UCKED UP DUDE OH RAPH

CASEY IS SO WORRIED NO OH NOOOOOOO MY HOTHEADED BOYSSSSSSSSSSSSS

Creepy carnival, bah... oh, this is probably Mikey's only chance to ever go to Coney Island, and he has to spend it on a mission while the world is ending... I Weep

PFFFFFF SPOOKY HOUSE Karai you goth

LOVE that a haunted house at a carnival still scares them- has he been working out? Mikey he's been undergoing intense physical therapy.

DO NOT ATTACK MIKEY KARAI GET OFF OF HIM

God, Karai is going through it right now, I feel so bad for her.

BETTER THAN THE PILATES I LOVE ROCKSTEADY

Donnie is still out cold? What are those fucking hip guns made of?

Are they... distracting them by naming them? Oh, it's working, they're letting this happen. Awww ROacksteady likes the name. I like that. He's a fun guy for a villain.

Yes you are going to be called BeeBop, BeeBop.

I was about to say "Why does everyone instantly know what Retromutagen is" but BeeBop seems to think it'll make MORE mutation happen so I'm calm. For now.

NEVERMIND ROACKSTEADY KNOWS WHY DOES HE KNOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

YESSSSSSSSSSS KARAI- NOOOOOO THE RETROMUTAGEN

Finally Donnie wake up- MORE SPLITTING UP OH GODDDDDD

Pffff DOnnie hates jumpscars, fun tidbit to kno- oh he got YOINKED

NO CASEY

OH ROLLERCOASTER FUN MIKEY GETS TO RIDE THE COASTER YAY

RAPH SAVING HIS LIL' BRO YES

MIKEYYYYYY HE GOT GRABBED

YAY DONNIE AND CASEY FRIEND MOMENT HITTING BEEBOP TOGETHER AND CLACKING WOODEN WEAPONS

Oh Leo making fun of the broken English is kinda a low blow

HA-HA THY TRICKED HIM LIKE A GREEK LEGEND HERO

Wait but- give him the retromutagen though. Because then. You're fighting a normal human man. And not an incredibly tough mutant.

WHY IS DONNIE GETTING HIS ASS BEAT TO EASY THIS EPISODE

More Casey and Donnie friendship! Casey jokes and Donnie smiles!

Don't take that tone with Donnie!

OH KARAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII OH KARAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII THIS IS HEATBREAKING OH MY GODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD I KNOW THEY FIX HER LATER BUT OHHHHHHHH OH NO MIKEY IS CRYINGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MIKEYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY KARAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

EVEN CASEY IS SAD AND HE DOESN'T KNOW HER

Raph you threaten murder but you won't do it- WHO CAUGHT HER WHO CAUGHT HER- NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO SHREDDER HAS HER BACK NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

"OUR REVENGE" SHREDDER I'M COMING FOR YOU BITCH SHUT THE FUCK UP

#tmnt 2012 #tmnt 2k12 #sid blogs live

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dracereads · 2 years

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Progress Positive Friday

Hello! How are ya'll doing today? This is my first progress positive Friday since I got back. I skipped last week because I was still figuring out my schedule and how I wanted to approach certain things moving forward. So Now that I'm at least an inch closer in another direction with that, I'm restarting. This one is kinda long so I'll stick it under a read more.

Where's the August Wrapped? So I have decided I won't be making an August Wrapped. Unfortunately, I have sat down and reviewed a lot of the content I made for August, looked at what all I finished reading, and other stuff... and I just feel like there isn't much to celebrate, and what there is was overshadowed by my cancer scare at the end of the month. So. I couldn't decide on a good way to write a wrap to conclude August in a way that I liked. so I'm just going to mash it all into progress positivity. Which is why it's going to be longer than normal. So thank-you to W1 and W2 Drace for working extensively on fixing the broken tag links in the navigation, consolidating and working on the tag list so that we can remember them more when doing posts, and making self-guides and templates so that you can just make things together in a cohesive manner. Consistency is so difficult for me and this makes my life so much easier and more organized. September Goals

Continue to work on Nostalgia November! We have made a lot of progress already, but we need to keep going!

Maybe take some time to revisit some titles? I need to start integrating storygraph and goodreads into this stuff too at some point. So maybe pay a few of my favorites a visit?? could be fun and a new excuse to take pictures with halloween decs.

just0nemorepage's traveling book project

One thing that I got in on in August was just0nemorepage's travelling book project. My own copy of my book should be arriving today, and I am very excited to start chronicling my adventures through Alexis Hall's The Affair of the Mysterious Letter!

with the book club, I am going to be waiting until the end to share additions and edits to the books that I make. I want to show them off all together. You may (or may not depending on how the others feel about them) see what I've done on the others that are part of this project. : ) I am so stoked and ready to go.

Dracereads turns one year old!

Officially, Dracereads has turned 1 this month! That's such a thrilling announcement! Unofficially though, I only started doing posts for this blog in December.

I let my anxiety and perfectionism get the better of me, and I really want you all to know that it was dumb. I've had a blast making mistakes and figuring this out. I don't know why I was so afraid to make the leap after I've made it you know?

I put out a post on Wednesday saying thank-you to everyone who puts up with me, and I want to say thank-you again here too. Why? Because I have been told I am stupidly (and overly) sincere about small stuff.

I am very happy because I have loved every second of it and this blog is exactly what I wanted it to be. My only real goal was to make a blog chronicling my adventures in books, maybe make a whole bunch of bad jokes along the way, and occasionally have good discussions with some awesome people. The past year has been a really fun dive into reading again. The habit of picking up a book and tossing back a couple of chapters to relax is a very good coping mechanism... and I am honestly glad I've gotten it worked back into my life. it has also helped me pick up a few other healthier and creative-ended habits that I can hop to and from as necessary. It's all leading to good things, I swear! Anyway, thank-you as always for reading until the end. I think saying it at the end is a bit of a cliche because like. youtubers and whatnot do it too?? but I like. get why. People really care about the things that they make, and it's always such a fucking amazing feeling whenever someone gives a little bit of their day to enjoy or appreciate in their own way the thing you've just made. Whether it's fanfiction, blog posts, crappy edits. Knowing someone cared enough to actually put the time in and read it is awesome.

--Drace Out.

#Ppf #Progress positive friday #feels good to get the format of this nailed out too #I like doing these on fridays

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onlyyyariii · 2 years

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My Alpha

Sorry for all the weird posting hours! I really don’t have a schedule and every time I have free time I’m editing chapters to put them out. I wrote what I have so far written of My Alpha about 2-3 years ago so it needs major editing work.

I’ve uncensored curse words and have replaced certain words with the more adult meaning/sounding words.

Be patient when I’m finished updating all I have written. I will be continuing writing the story it just takes time. Getting ready for college in the fall is a big thing and it takes a lot of time and effort!

I have not nor will I forget about this story!

Ethan’s point of view!

*******

It's been two weeks. Liana has been avoiding me because of the fight with Grayson. She's been talking to Mira and my mom. I know she misses Grayson. But the way he feels about her is a problem. He shouldn't feel that way about my mate. Now that I've known her for about two weeks my wolf is very intrigued. I can't lie, I'm intrigued too. I could sense her resentment. Right now I'm sitting in the living room watching a movie. All I'm focused on is the sound of footsteps coming down the stairs. I pretend not to notice and continue staring at the tv.

"Ethan?"

I turn to look at her.

"Yes?"

"I-I had a nightmare. Can I lay with you?"

I couldn't sense any kind of distress coming from her. Usually people who have nightmares get scared after they wake up.

"Alright."

She smiles and cuddles into my side. I wrap my arm around her.

"Mm you're warm." she lays her head on my chest.

I lean into her hair and take a deep breath. She hasn't been this close to me in days. Her scent is scattered around the house but obviously she smells the strongest. In a good way of course!

"Hey babe?" I ask, testing the waters with 'babe'.

"Hm?" She seems to be half asleep.

"Are we okay?"

She looks up at me. I spoke too soon. She's not asleep.

"Of course. I just miss Grayson. He made me laugh and now every time I see him he runs away from me. Am I that repulsive?"

"God no. Of course not. I'll make sure to talk to him."

"You should apologize for growling."

"I'm the Alpha. I'm not apologizing."

"Seriously Ethan? Grayson wasn't doing anything bad. I was sad so he was trying to cheer me up."

"Why were you sad?"

"Mira just told me some stuff about being a Luna."

I sat up. Why would she be afraid of being the Luna? She sat up beside me sighing.

"Why were you upset?"

"She," Liana lets out a deep breath, "told me about Cameron."

Anger flows through me. She did what? I didn't want Liana to worry about me or her. Now she has to worry about her wellbeing and her responsibilities as a Luna.

"Li don't worry about him alright?"

"How can I not? He wants to kill me Ethan!"

"I won't let him. I-I love you okay? I will not let him hurt you. You are my mate and I will protect you with my life."

"I know you love me. I- never mind can you just come lay down with me?"

"Of course."

We make our way upstairs. Was she going to say I love you back? I'm not forcing her or anything of the sort. My wolf is just dying to come out again. I lay down next to her. She cuddles up to my side, laying her head on my chest.

"I like your heartbeat."

"Um thanks?"

"It speeds up every time I shift my hand against your skin."

"Well you're my mate, I would hope my heart reacts to you."

I feel her smile against me.

"What about my heartbeat?"

I smile, looking down at her, "It's strong. It does beat faster when I'm near you as well. And when I say I love you, it stops for a moment before slowly restarting."

"You know I feel the same about you right? I know you, but I don't know you. I can't say it yet, and I'm sorry for that."

"Don't feel sorry. I've loved my mate since the moment I was born. Now that I've found you, I can't help but tell you how I feel."

"Hmmm."

"I will not let Cameron get to you. He won't find you. If he does he's as good as dead."

Her heartbeat picks up although her breathing is soft. I wrap my arms around her and fall asleep.

***

I left Liana asleep as I had to get up for training. I'm facing off with Grayson again today. I don't know why he's in such a bad mood lately. Liana is my mate, not his. He'll find his someday but for now he needs to not get attached to mine.

"Alpha, you're up."

I step up into the circle of dirt with Grayson. He glares at me. I look towards the house, seeing Liana standing in the window watching. She waves and I send her a smile before focusing on Grayson again. We start out easy before he pushes me to the ground choking me. I could use my Alpha voice to tell him to get off but in training I'm not allowed.

"Stop! Stop! Grayson stop, you're hurting him!" Liana yells.

She runs into the circle and grabs at Grayson's arm. He turns around and snarls at her before looking at me, terror etched into his features.

"Get off of me." I growl out, the Alpha voice low but loud.

He immediately stands up and backs off. I pull Liana into my arms and kiss her forehead. My neck had bruised from Grayson's hold, but it was already fading. Taking a look at the wolves and other pack members I notice they're all shocked. Of course they would be, no one disrespects the Alpha's mate, let alone the future Luna.

"Ethan I-" Grayson starts.

"Don't talk to me." I snap.

"Yes Alpha."

"Ethan?" Liana turns my head to look at her.

"What?"

"Hey calm down. I-I'm going to kiss you alright? Please don't push me away."

She pulls my head down and connects our lips. I feel heat coming off of Grayson, it's anger. A low growl comes out of me. Liana takes that opportunity to shove her tongue into my mouth. The growl turns into a groan. She tastes like vanilla and maple. She tastes like everything I've ever wanted. Too soon she pulls away and I'm left in a state of awe. Her face is red as she buries it into my chest. I can smell her arousal. No doubt the other pack members can too. No doubt Grayson can as well.

"Go home," I snarl, "training's over." I send one last glare Grayson's way before walking Liana back to the house.

"I was thinking."

"Oh no that's dangerous."

She shoves my shoulder, "No it's not. Maybe we should try dating. Like I still have to formally meet your dad."

"Alright. Let's do that today. We can go to Mira afterwards."

"Go to Mira for what exactly?"

"I need to scold her for telling you about Cameron. Also she'll be able to tell us our future together."

"Don't be too hard on her for the Cameron thing. Her heart was in the right place."

"Of course. I might have to pay a visit to Grayson as well. No one disrespects the Alpha's mate, ever."

"Okay. He did scare me when he snarled at me."

"Exactly and that shouldn't have happened." I press a kiss to her forehead.

Today is going to be a rough day.

*******

#grayson dolan #dolan twins #ari’s fic recs #oc #ethan dolan #lianamariesummers #madisonrosemorrison #ari’s masterlist #ari

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madd-nix · 4 years

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I'm so tired

#my laptop hasn't been working properly lately like it won't even turn on without restarting or showing some error screen #i want to draw but i don't know what to draw plus i have so many wips that it's become impossible to finish any of them #i'm tired of working as a server but i don't have any good qualifications to work in a non-service type job #i'm terrified of going back to school and i've been questioning what to do as a major #i'm scared of even trying school again because i don't want to fail again #i don't know what i want to do with my life and while i'm only 22 i'm still scared and worried #i never get enough sleep and even on days off i have chores and stuff to do #vent #rant #me talking

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xo-alie-xo · 3 years

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PORTWELL LONG GAME OR RINA SLOWBURN.

You can only choose one poison.🍷

Listen up my Wildcats.🐱

We all ship each character with happiness. No matter how much you love to hate them, a majority of us simply adores the characters and want the best for them. Then comes relationships and it's okay to ship our favorites.⛴

I'm a diehard Rina shipper and I know in my heart that they are series endgame. The set up, the natural chemistry, their mutual understanding, the surprises and angst literally put me on chokehold. So I'm 100% a Rina shipper till the end. I'm here for the slowburn and their development rather than one shots. They are worth the pain. 😭❤

Let me start with Ricky Bowen now.

Ricky shouldn't to be with Gina because he's hurting her mentality. He's not insensitive on purpose. Like when he tried to stop Big Red from telling her his message to Nina because he KNOWS it'll hurt her.

If you think, that Ricky didn't understand clearly when Gina confessed, think again. He shushed her. Kept their thing a secret from everyone. He knows he feels some type of way and she feels something too. But this boy is so used to safeguarding his childhood norms and has very little adaptability. Hence, he pretended to ignore everything between them because his home stability was falling apart and he clinged on to Nina, his constant childhood love.

He's a traumatised 16-17 year old boy that needs to heal and grow. This episode was heartbreaking because he had to accept that he had to let Nina go because their once upon a time fairytale had become toxic.

People change. I'm not the same person I was when I was 16 lmao. Being together as childhood lovers means growing together and accepting each other's growth. Which Ricky couldn't. He clutched to the idea of Nini. Even his love confession. It was sooo sweet but all he did was focus on their history.

This boy needs time to heal and maybe seek professional therapy. It would be so DAMN HISTORIC if Disney decides to take psychological issues seriously and show how he's dealing with his anxiety, pills and psychotherapy. He needs to breathe before he can be with any girl for that matter. He's hurting and isn't trying to hurt anyone on purpose. Including Gina.

Him asking her for advice on Nini was a dumb, insensitive move. But he's trying to find a way to build some supportive friendship that they shared in early season one.

As for now, this boy needs to get his own grip on life and heal.

As for our Queen Gina

In Gina's confession, she focuses on their future. She basically said, "I wouldn't quit on a possible future of us being together despite obstacles. Because I never quit. But moving away isn't in my control." Ricky deep down knows this, encouraged her to say it, teary eyed, despite right after getting back together with Nini. Gina is his future. She went to his new house. And I also have this feeling that when she was given a chance to stay, she stayed partly because of Ricky. She left a chance to be with her mom because she prioritised their relationship. Because she never quits. 💪🏼

But she came back and found out Ricky has gotten back together with Nini.😭 What she doesn't know is Ricky got together with Nina before her confession, and after Gina kept dodging his messages. She's hurt and questions why she returned because she isn't particularly close to anyone. Hence, she was so silent at the after party. She thinks it'll be fine, "she'll live", and finds other reasons to find permanence. Her arc this season has been settling down in East High, despite the pain of losing and being 'betrayed' by Ricky, she finds other reasons to stay. 🏡

This kind of contrasts her with Nina. Nina left her dream school and came to Salt Lake because she missed her established home, and not just because of Ricky. Nina returned and was loved and embraced by Ricky Bowen.💕 Gina came back to a semi new place called Salt Lake because of her promise of a future to Ricky. But she got stabbed and she bled. 💔🗡

Think about her situation. She feels confused, alone, heartbroken, out of place and seperated from her mom. She's broken and hurting too. And she doesn't need more from Ricky's accidental or intentional 'sick burns'. That's the one line where he was such a jerk and I can't defend him here. 😠

Here comes the Caswells.

Her second family. A place of healthy stability. A home that accepted her. Ashlyn, her roomie and her confidante. EJ, the misunderstood boy who saw her value and bought her plane ticket.

Let's get to EJ.

At first, I wasn't too keen on seeing Portwell's development. But then that video chat where they talk about the possibility of her staying and him convincing her. Had me sold for a solid brother-sister relationship. Few episodes later, when Gina's pain seemed to be oblivious to everyone, he was the only one who asked her how she was, and saw her glow. The comfort she must've felt.

Not that she needs a man's validation, but she must be feeling like a second choice and feeling a little insecure because of Ricky. But EJ lifts her up and I genuinely saw her smile. This boy has her back whenever. The man she can lean on and truly sees how special she is. She no longer feels alone now that she has his entire fam and other friends. She genuinely feels a place of belonging and happiness when she's the apple of his eye. Notice how happy she is? How happy this boy is? She's going through her own issues and she has found ground with EJ.

I was very doubtful when they started hinting at a romantic direction. Because EJ would be used as plot device again for a girl to get to Ricky.😤 This man doesn't deserve to be second best to anyone, just like Gina.😑 That's why I'm still hesitant on shipping them at least temporarily. EJ needs to be something even more special to Gina. They need to show each other how special and treasured they are to each other despite feeling like rejects. They are each other's source of comfort.

I'm sure they can keep EJ at East High for the next season. Whether it's the drama club, or the AV club or going to a local college. So he will be there for Gina. I don't know how they can work out a relationship with much distance as Rini's fell out when she moved away. So, if EJ leaves again, it'll again shake up Gina. Her being worried whether he'll date college girls, second thoughts, etc. I don't want them to go through that. And if they do move on to romantic Portwell, make sure it's not plot device for Rina. So you can either have Portwell endgame or Rina Endgame.

Basically I want Gina to be treated so right that she understands she doesn't need Ricky. And when he does ask her out, and he makes her feel like a second choice or a rebound, she says NO. Because EJ has helped regain her self assurance. Eventually I want Gina to confide in EJ about her and Ricky. EJ is jealous but also angry about how Ricky has been hurting her. And becomes damn protective of his 'babe'. Ricky gets jealous of their relationship, restarting Ricky and EJ's old rivalry. But this time, it's not because Gina is his girlfriend, but because she's EJ's best friend who he has a crush on and wants what's best for her.

If it's meant to be Rina endgame

EJ- RICKY, YOU IDIOT! You have no clue how to treat her right. You don't put her first. You mislead her. Get the hell away from her! She's too powerful and beautiful, she doesn't deserve your scraps. I know how she feels for you. I wish I were you. I would treat her like a queen. I don't mind even waiting years till she's ready. She deserves that. You're so lucky you have even a small chance that I may never have. So get your act together, prove you're worth it to win her over. All I want is for her to be happy. Even if it's with someone else. And maybe then I'll stop threatening you to stay away from her.😠

Ricky- .....I don't know what I'm more scared of. Change, or losing the girl I fell for or YOU. Okay, losing her but you're a close second.😬

If it's Portwell endgame.

Ricky- I messed up. Make sure you don't mess up with her. You'll regret it forever.

EJ- I'd rather get hit by thousand basketballs than ever hurt her. I'll be her plus one and her best friend until she's ready to be with me. I know she's ready now too. But I want her to know I'm willing to wait till she graduates before we make it official. I'm in it for the long game.

As for their age gap. I'm 100% sure Portwell won't kiss this season. If they do, it'll be next when Sofia turns 18. They are professional actors who are cast because they are the perfect fit for the role and are expected to carry out the storyline. But I suppose fearing some outbursts, they might delay Sofia kissing anyone till next season. It's so weird because Olivia was maybe 17 when Matt was 21-22 when they kissed in season one. But no one had a problem with that. But for this, they do. Remember, they are professional actors. They are acting! Sometimes, actors are over 10 years apart (but above 18) and act as romantic partners.

As for their characters, they are only two years apart. That's hardly any difference once you're over the age of 18. Age of consent is 16. But adults above 18 are only allowed to have sex with adults above 18. So, age isn't a problem here because EJ is a gentleman and is genuinely interested in her and isn't trying to get in her pants. So age isn't the issue when it comes to dating. It's the maturity. Gina is very mature and gives very sound advice. But I can see EJ being patient enough till she turns 18 just to kiss her because he loves her. 😚

As for the Ashlyn remark, "You look like a kid to me rn". He was JOKING.😂 Don't take things out of context. I tell my cousin sister that all the time. But she's three years younger than me and a grown adult. I don't see her as a kid but it's just a cousin teasing her younger cousin that's she's a little immature. I'm Matt's age and I'm very mature for my age and since I was a teenager, I always matched up with boys a little older than me. Now that I'm in my early 20s, I've dated boys even close to 30. So age is just a number.

EJ dating Gina and giving her quick kisses is fine. But to have a strong sexual element in their relationship (including making out), he'll have to wait till she's 18+. And I'm sure for that he'll wait till she's ready even past her early 20s. Age is really just a number and we can't help who we fall in love with. Trust me, I've been there.😂 So I can see EJ feeling conflicted about his feelings that are clear at this point.

They might not be a perfect fit, but they make each other sooo happy. They deserve a lot more than a short lived fling.😟 They are either endgame or Rina is. You can't have both as a Rina unless you're an EJ hater who wants him to exist as plot device. Nope! He's sooo much more precious than that.

But Jack on the other hand....I'm okay if he's the one to make Ricky or EJ jealous. Because he's just been introduced and it's okay if a character is used, but only once, for someone else to realize their feelings. 💁🏽‍♀️

In short.

Ricky needs help and needs to be on his own. No girlfriends allowed.🙅🏽‍♀️🚫

Needs to give both Gina and Nina space for them to grow on their own too.🌳

Ricky needs to understand the core of his problems and become more adaptable via therapy. Maybe the psychologist will point out his unresolved feelings for Gina, or he will conclude it himself. And in comes Ricky-pining-for-Gina season three.

Ricky needs to fully get over Nina before he moves on to anyone. Same for Gina if Portwell were to happen. No one deserves to be second choice.

Gina isn't Ricky's cushion. She's a living person with strong feelings for him and shouldn't be subjected to share his pain. She already struggles with her own issues.

Ricky needs to stay single till he wins back Gina and prove he's worth it. He needs to show even if another girl wants him, he'll never quit on Gina ever again. Even if he has to watch her be with someone else. *cough parallels*.

It's either romantic Rina then Portwell endgame OR Portwell flirty besties but Rina endgame. You and I can choose only one because my boy EJ shouldn't be used as plot device for a girl to leave for Ricky ever again.

Portwell's age difference can be practically solved and isn't much of an issue unless they get hot and heavy before Gina turns 18 which is impossible considering this is Disney. 🤣🤣

Jack and Gina will be plot device material and purely so sentimental to us OG Andi Mack fans. More than any ship, this is what I'm looking for. Sort of an Andi Mack crack ship for season 3a. It's gonna be soooo funny. 😍😂

I respect everyone's ship. I see what you're seeing. And I'm not going to invalidate your ship. But unless it's done right, I won't jump from the Rina ship. I liked Rini. I like Portwell. I like AU Juffy crackship haha.😂 But as for me, I'm still holding on to Rina slowburn.

Preparing myself for the pain. 😭🔥

(But if I had to pair two characters without Disney getting in the way, it would be Gini. The power duo. Undeniable chemistry. They can be written so well because of their layered relationship and contrasting personalities.🤩 The classic rivals to friends to lovers. But that's a talk for another day lmao.)

Thanks for reading my opinion, Wildcat!🐱❤

#hsmtmts #gina x ricky #rina #ricky bowen #gina porter #ricky x gina #portwell #ej caswell #jack hsmtmts #juffy #jonah beck #andi mack

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who-peed-in-your-cheerios · 2 years

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I'm feeling the best I have since a short period of time in 2016. I tried to stay afloat, burnt out, quit my job and gave up trying to transfer my nursing license, broke down, spent a year in bed, picked myself up, started new meds, got access to support and disability, restarted therapy and started a graphic design course. My basic functioning slowly improved. I was still depressed, anxious and suicidal, but it was stable.

Covid knocked back my mental health and progress a lot, suddenly I had no access to support, no routine or gym or outside access (we had 100m limits at one point and weren't allowed to sit down). I'd been stuck in a continuous relapse recovery cycle over the last few years and lockdown made that worse. Luckily I was already seeing my therapist online, our work got interrupted but I learnt some different lessons and things about myself ha. Began to make progress again, had a big setback in January related to winter, covid and isolation and my best friends mum dying. I thought that was it that I had fallen back and wasn't going to get out of for years.

But here I am I'm through it. Summer made me feel lighter, I've begun to function more than I have for the last few years...it's new and I'm scared it won't last but for now I just have to make the most of my time. I don't weigh myself anymore and haven't for a few months but I believe I am weight restored and have broken that relapse recovery cycle. I had lapses and I thought it was going to be the same old story but with my therapist we finally did things different, those lapses didn't turn into a full blown relapse.

My suicidal thoughts are there, chronically, but I feel more neutral about life. I have SH and restriction urges but I'm not acting on them. My anxiety (and selective mutism when I was younger) which was the cause of my depression/ED etc is still so incredibly disabling but I'm taking steps to start working again and be more independent.

I'm in the best place I could be at this moment, it's summer and I have professional support as well as my family and friends and my food and body are in ok places. Maybe like always I'll fall right back to rock bottom, that's usually what happens, I'll probably be back here in a month writing how its all fallen apart, but in the meantime I can enjoy the small things. I can't imagine a future for myself but I can live day by day for now. I'm still mentally ill as fuck lmao but I'm hoping I'll reach a long stretch of stability and managing to live with my illnesses and growth and progress because I'm bloody due for this, I deserve better.

#personal #mental illness #depression #anxiety #anorexia #depressed #selctive mutism #recovery #suicidal ideation #relapse #edrecovery #anorexia recovery #eating disorder recovery #self harm recovery #seasonal affective disorder #seasonal depression #mental illness recovery #mentally ill

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mochiusagifanficchaos · 3 years

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Sherlock x Mute!Reader •Part 7•

Metal crashed against metal as you yanked wildly at the handcuff around your wrist until you felt warm blood running down your ice-cold hand.

Silently sobbing you sank back on the bed. The sudden lack of noise made the dark room even scarier.

How have you ended here? What happened and why the hell can't you remember?!

These thoughts got stuck in your head, drove a rollercoaster, and made you feel sick.

Helpless you tried to remember what had happened, tried to puzzle everything together but the last thing you remember was going to bed alone in your flat.

Alone.

The word echoed in your head.

Something in the back of your mind told you that this wasn't right.

There was this feeling, this feeling of being watched. You had it right before you fell asleep.

Suddenly you remember that something was being pressed on your face. You couldn't breathe anymore and smelled something sweet. Panicking you had woken up and saw someone standing next to your bed. He was pressing you down and covered your mouth and nose with a piece of cloth.

It was Jonathan.

You screamed inside your head, wanted to punch yourself for your stupidity of trusting a man you barely knew instead of trusting Sherlock.

Your eyes darted to your left as a door was opened with a loud squeaking sound and bright blue light fell into the room.

A man was standing in the frame and threw a large shadow on the ground.

"Finally awake?", a deep voice asked with a sarcastic undertone and his heavy steps resounded through the room as he walked towards you.

"Oh, it was so easy to twist you around my little finger", he hummed as he tugged on his black curls, pulling down the wig from his head and revealing short blonde hair.

He chuckled as he saw the scared look on your face.

"Don't worry, sweetheart. I'm not gonna harm you.", Jonathan pulled a phone out of his pockets and stood there for a while, typing something, before he sat beside you on the bed and turned the camera on, holding the phone away so that you both were visible on the screen.

"As long as Sherlock does what I want."

"Let's play a game, Sherlock.", the man in the video said and grinned evilly.

Watson heard this sentence for at least the 20th time in a row now since Sherlock kept restarting the video which he received 10 minutes ago on his phone.

"Watching it over and over again won't get (y/n) back here.", Mycroft said, trying to bring his little brother back to his senses but Sherlock completely ignored him, restarting the video again.

Annoyed Watson stood up from his chair and snatched the phone out of Sherlock's hand: "That's enough now."

"I should've stayed with her.", Sherlock mumbled under his breath and ran his hands over his face, his black shirt stretched over his back and arms as every muscle in his body tensioned.

Suddenly he stood up and threw his hands in the air: "For god's sake I should've stayed with her!"

"It's not your fault.", Watson tried to calm him down, shook from his unusual behavior.

"Don't fool yourself, Watson, of course, it is! That lunatic is just kidnapping her because of me."

On Sherlock's phone popped up a message from an unknown number and Watson gave it back to Sherlock. He swiftly opened it, just to nearly drop it as he saw the content of the message.

It was a picture of you sitting on the bed, a blanket half over your shoulders and your right hand was laid over the left. It was dark but Sherlock still noticed the handcuffs and the bloody strains underneath them on your skin. Your hair was parted to both sides of your face and you had a smile on your face. A forced smile, your lips were curled up but your eyes showed fear.

The phone rang loudly and Watson jumped.

Sherlock answered the call with a cold expression.

"Such a pretty girl, don't you think?", the man on the other side chuckled darkly.

Sherlock's hand tightened around his cellphone: "Don't you dare to touch her.", his voice had a deadly sound and even Watson needed to gulp since he never heard him talk like this.

"Oh, I won't, what are you thinking of me? But you should hurry.", the man made a dramatic pause. "It's getting really cold in here."

He chuckled again before he hung up.

Slowly Sherlock lowered his hand with the phone and stared blankly out of the window.

Watson didn't dare to speak and waited for Sherlock to tell him what was up, but he stayed silent and the only noise was the beeping of the disconnected phone call.

Without a word, Sherlock turned around, threw his coat over and rushed with fast and heavy steps past Microft and Watson and down the stairs. Watson followed him to the street and just about made it into the cab in which Sherlock had hopped in.

"Where are we going?", Watson asked as the car started driving.

"The national gallery."

Your shaking ice-cold fingers were wrapped around each other, your knees were tugged under your chin and your arms were pressed at your body to keep the warmth inside.

Your teeth silently chattering was the only sound in the room, beside the rattles of your handcuffs around the bed frame sometimes when you shifted your weight.

Jonathan had left you alone hours ago, he said that he needed to prepare something for Sherlock and you were scared of what he had planned, scared of what he might do to him.

His evil laugh still echoed in your head and made you shiver more than the cold air around you.

"If you're ever scared, my love, then count to three and think of me, count to ten and think of a friend, count to a hundred and your fear will be tamed"

You remembered your mum saying this to you whenever you were scared after what had happened to you as a child. After you lost your voice.

Warm tears rolled over your cheeks as you counted to three and thought of her smile and laugh, her warm embrace and her soft voice.

More and more tears rolled down your cheeks and you began sobbing as you thought about Sherlock.

Thought about him taking care of you on the day you had burned your hand in the café.

Thought about this proud smile he had on his face when you kept the keys for the register.

You remembered the day when he got you out of the hospital to eat some chips together.

And then took a ride with you on the London Eye. You knew that he had watched you and had a smile on his face as he saw you being so amazed by the night view.

You thought about the days you had tried to ignore and allure him since he wouldn't talk to you about the case and ended up being followed by a slightly sad and jealous Sherlock. Now you were sure that he hadn't understood his own feelings at this time and probably was really confused why you made him feel like this.

You chuckled slightly. When you would get out of here alive you would try to seduce him even more, you loved the look on his face when he was too confused about his own feelings.

The picture of you sitting on Sherlock's lap, both of you sleeping, popped up in your mind.

This was the moment you got aware of that you really loved him. You never felt so safe and like home before, then in his arms.

The thought of this brought a warm feeling back and you noticed that you had stopped sobbing and shivering.

You remembered him entering the café after not having seen or heard from him for over three months and that smile that crawled on his face as he saw you.

He had pulled you in this tight hug instead of saying hello and made your heart melt.

A loud bang ripped you out of your thoughts and brought you back to the dark and cold reality.

You held your breath and listened to if there were any other noises but everything remained silent.

Just as you gave up on listening a bright light suddenly flooded the room and you had to cover your eyes, pressing your face into the stinky mattress.

Blinking you tried to get used to the lack of darkness and it took you some seconds to see the big tv on the opposite wall.

It showed Sherlock and Watson who just came running into a big white room with paintings on the walls and you immediately noticed that it was a room from the national gallery.

"Will you tell me now why we needed to go here?", Watson asked out of breath as he watched Sherlock examining every painting in the big room.

"The picture.", Sherlock just answered and walked into the next room. "He made her look like the Mona Lisa and where do we usually find paintings?"

"The national gallery", Watson sighted.

Suddenly Sherlock's phone rang and he hesitated for a second to pick up.

"Where's (y/n)?", he asked straight out.

"Oh Sherlock, I'm not gonna make it so easy for you. Don't you remember that I wanted to play a game?", the voice on the other side said with amusement.

Sherlock tried hard to keep a straight face: "I already solved your little puzzle to get here and I don't want to keep on playing."

A loud laugh suddenly echoed out of the speakers from every corner of the room and Watson whirled around.

"If you don't want to play the game then you won't be able to safe (y/n). Aren't you having fun? I thought you liked puzzles, Sherlock."

The voice filled the room with a dangerous atmosphere.

Sherlock remained silent, grinding his teeth.

"I see, good choice.", the voice chuckled. "You know, I'll give you something to think about: she's here, somewhere, and I already told you where."

Sherlock narrowed his eyebrows, he couldn't think of anything right now, the feeling of fear for you had crawled into him and wouldn't let go anymore.

He took a deep breath and placed his hands in a praying position to his lips.

His eyes darted fast over the paintings on the wall to find anything that would show him where you were captured.

But he couldn't find anything.

"There got to be something!", Sherlock muttered and ruffled his hand through his hair in frustration.

A chuckle echoed out of the speakers again: "Oh Sherlock, don't make it so hard for yourself. I said that I already told you where she is."

Sherlock stopped in his actions and his eyes widened.

"Stupid!", he suddenly scoffed. "My god, Watson, why didn't we notice that earlier?"

"What? What didn't we notice earlier? Sherlock!"; Watson shouted after Sherlock who already ran down the hall.

A swear escaped Watson as he chased after Sherlock's flapping coat...

Next chapter will be up next weekend!

Thank you all so much for reading and your nice comments 🥺 ❤

Tag list ❤

@misselsbells06 @fictionalhoomanofnowhere @a-paper-cut @viviace

#fanfiction #x reader #reader insert #bbc sherlock #sherlock #sherlock fandom #sherlock fanfic #sherlock x reader #sherlock x y/n #sherlockxmutereader

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nikarmy · 3 years

Text

Equilibration ~ Prologue

Masterlist

Pairing: Waterbender! Jungkook x fem!Firebender Reader feat platonic!Bts

Genre: The Last Airbender Au, fluff, angst, kinda slowburn, s2l

Word Count: 1.7k

Warnings: judgemental stares in public, cursing, slight inner aggressiveness (how do you call that?), self hatred, mentions and descriptions of war, childhood trauma, flashbacks, reader is insecure af, mentions of killed people and humans screaming out of fear,

The looks from the passengers started to intimidate you.

How should one react to unwanted attention? Stare back, insult them, ask them what's wrong, or put their powers to good use and knock them down? Fuck no. That's not the right thing to do.

But the old lady in the olive robe has been fixating her gaze on you since she entered the train, only stopping her inspection when a young man offered his seat to her 5 minutes ago. Unfortunately, as soon as she made herself comfortable on the metal bench, she restarted her action.

Her face looks remarkably punchable to you right now.

Red was never your favourite colour.

In fact, you despise it, even though it perfectly described you.

Anger, Aggressiveness and Harshness. Perhaps that's why you've been considered as a prodigy and as one of the most gifted trainees back in the fire nation. You are basically the embodiment of the hot flames, symbolizing destruction and war.

You hate it. And now your red attire made you hate the colour even more, as the result was having judging looks on you all the time.

Teachers, parents and elders of the fire nation always tell stories and legends about the benders of their kind, emphasizing their heroic actions, and everyone listens to them attentively.

Although you know these stories by heart, you longed for more, for a view outside of the borders that separate your people from the other elements.

You read folk stories of waterbenders, earthbenders and airbenders, satisfying your curiosity by practically studying their culture.

But the more you learned about the peaceful water tribe, the disciplined people of the earth kingdom and the imaginative

air nomads, the more you felt ashamed about the fire nation, about yourself.

The insecurities grew as your father forced you to join the military as a soon – to – be soldier at the tender age of 8. He wanted to “use your abilities to good use”, so you just went with the flow and trained along with other talented students, destined to end the war in a brutal way and make their parents proud.

Years went by, and not too long ago, marking a week now to be exact, you went on your first “mission” to a city of the earth kingdom, whose name you don't even know, to occupy them and take over their land in a brutal way.

The pictures of killed people and destroyed houses are engraved to your brain, highlighted by the destructive flames surrounding a once peaceful town. You'll never forget the children screaming on top of their lungs and the parents begging for their lives.

The next sleepless nights you sat at your desk and started making plans on how to escape the fire nation, whilst writing a goodbye note to your family and trying to persuade them to not search after you.

And now, days later, you are standing in a train to Ba Sing Se, not even having a clue on what to do next. Your backpack consists of a bottle of water, some sparing clothes (but still not much), your toothbrush and money.

Finally you hear the male voice on the speaker say the awaited words: “Ba Sing Se Central Station”. You leave out a sigh you didn't even know you were holding, glad to be at your destiny and also glad to get out of the stinking train with the rude old lady.

During your targetless walk through the city, you notice a lot of eyes on you, and to be honest, you don't blame them, you hate firebenders too.

So you guess a new start also means a new appearance, right? Luckily you walk past a thrift shop. Its appearance is very pretty, the building is made out of wood and warm tones, the curtains which could be seen behind the big windows were a light shade of green, above the small door you could see golden calligraphy spelling “Kim's Thrift Shop” in all it's pride. It's not modern, but it looks comfortable.

At exactly that moment you choose to enter and change your black and red attire to search for one with a colour that is much less hated, like blue, yellow or green.

Entering the shop you immediately face a young man behind the counter, and you swear you've never seen a more handsome human being before.

He had perfect features, his broad shoulders and his tall figure instantly catching your attention. His raven black hair was voluminous. He could easily pass as a prince.

As much as you drooled over him as a result of his striking lineaments, he looked at you, well, weirdly. That wouldn't surprise you if he looked at you like you were his enemy, just like the other people here, but he stared at you, like you were some kind of god. Like he is genuinely happy that you entered the store. His eyes light up with hope.

“FUCKING FINALLY! NAMJOON LOCK THE DOORS!”

What. The. Hell.

Never in your life have you been so confused. Does he want to kidnap you? Oh fuck he wants to kill you.

The only logical thing to do right now is turning around and leave the shop. And you do just that.

But as soon as you can grab the door knob with your right hand, another one holds it, preventing you from fleeing.

You look who this hand belongs to, and next to you stands a man with blue hair and tan skin. His biceps and height frighten you and you realize that you're in big trouble. He has a tight hold on your forearm and leads you to the backroom of the shop in a quick pace, behind you the black haired cashier.

The backroom looked comfortable, the carpeted floor creating a cozy feeling. But the atmosphere was the complete opposite.

Here you stand, surrounded by five boys. You inspect each other and you realize that two of them are airbenders.

There stands the cashier, then your eyes land on the guy who held your forearm as if his life depended on it, and a third guy who sat on the sofa. His appearance was remarkably charming, full lips, blond hair, round face and soft features, he was quite short compared to the others. All three of them have green clothing on, so you assume that they are earthbenders.

But what really catches your attention are the last two guys. They wear yellow and red robes, both of them having a blue arrow drawn through the middle of their foreheads.

You've never seen an airbender before.

“So umm sorry if we scared you back there” the blue haired guy interrupts your thoughts. “But we are really desperate for someone like you right now”

“Someone like... me?” You curiously ask.

“Yes. The guy there..”

he points to one of the airbenders. The boy has wavy dark hair and as soon the blue guy mentions him he flashes you a cute boxy smile.

“This is Tae. Short for Taehyung. He is someone special. You see, for how long has the last avatar died?”

“70 years ago.” you reply. It's true, Avatar Aang died many years ago, and that at the time the world needed him the most. If he was still here, the war could have been prevented before it even escalated.

“Yeah” he answered “Tae is the next one”.

You gasp lightly and feel your eyes coming out of their sockets from having them wide open in shock.

The avatar is standing right in front of you.

“And we are searching for different benders who can teach him in all the elements. See, we kind of established a secret alliance against the Fire Lord, to end the war. He already knows that the avatar came back and is searching for Tae like crazy, we had to move out of our hidings four times now because he always managed to find us. Now we have to find teachers quickly, the sooner the better. Tae has to learn to be a great avatar so he can fight against the Lord. We thought we would never find someone from the Fire Nation, but then you came. Are you a firebender?”

“Yes?”

“Perfect, you're exactly who we're looking for. We'll cut you a deal. Since we assume you're not a spy, we ask you to be Taes teacher in mastering the art of firebending. In return, you'll get to live with us and we'll give you food for free. Jin is a great cook. I know this is a lot of information to handle right now, but what do you think?”

You didn't even think twice about it. Even though you don't know these guys, what do you have to loose? It's not like you had plans anyway. And stopping the fire nation seems to be just the right thing for you right now. And finally you can use your skills to good use, not for war.

“I'm in.”

Later you get introduced to all of them. The Avatar, Taehyung, is an airbender, and you swear you've never seen someone who behaves this childish before. But it's not a bad childish, in fact, it makes you feel jubilant. Maybe because his bright ambience makes up for the childhood you never had, the childhood you spent in training and learning that brutality is the way to power, and power is everything.

The guy with the blue hair is Namjoon, an earthbender and Taes teacher in that field. He seems like the leader of the group, always explaining and answering your questions.

The black haired handsome guy is Jin, a nonbender. He felt very excited when you said yes to joining them.

The other airbender is Hobi and also Taes teacher, the first thing you realize about him is his very contagious smile.

The blond dude is Jimin, a nonbender who is from an earth kingdom village.One day he knocked on their door of the shop and wanted to thrift there. But instead of finding clothes, he started talking to Tae who sat behind the counter. The Avatar liked him so much that he insisted on having him join the “Gang”.

The thrift shop actually belongs to Jins aunt, and sometimes, when he's in Ba Sing Se, he has to work here. It's also a good place to hide from the Fire Lord.

“So we need a waterbender too?” you examined.

“Yes” Namjoon was the only one to answer again “We have to travel to one of the tribes to find one. It won't be that hard.”

a/n: Thanks for reading! I would like to apologize if it’s bad, I’m not very content with my writing style, but I am working on it, since it’s my first fic and I have a long way to go:) What do you think?

#jungkook x reader #jungkook fanfic #jungkook imagine #jungkook fantasy au #bts x reader #bts fic #bts imagines #bts au #bts atla au #bts fanfction

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