#i'm not fully recovered from this 😔 | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

jkvjimin · 14 days

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(71/∞) the perfect nose for butterflies to land on it ♡

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what-am-i-doing-in-this-fandom · 1 month

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MY PENS NOOOO

#my phone finally fully broke and i'm only now realizing the actual repercussions of that 😭😭#my custom pens on ibis paint x noooooo #The world is a cruel and broken place ��#one was in japanese i'll never find it 😭#rip to one of the best blending brushes i've ever seen that i screenshotted randomly from tik tok 😔#i was sad about all my saved colors #but THIS???#I'll never recover

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vendetta-if · 4 months

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Hello dear author, hope you're doing well ☺️I know this would never happen but humor me please: what would ash's reaction be if Luka or Grandpa ordered him to kill a MC who's becoming a menace to the family?

Oooh angsty 😥Honestly, the only thing that make Luka or Grandpa want MC dead is if they have really crossed the line and somehow decided to betray the Family and wanted to kill Luka or Grandpa.

Even then, it would not be an easy decision for either of them to make, especially for Luka. He'll be torn because of the promise he made to Viktor before he died. I'm not even sure he would be able to fully recover from the decision or whether he would even have the heart to send out the order.

Grandpa, though, is more capable of actually steeling his heart to send out the order and staying stoic throughout the whole process. But once it's done, he would break down.

For Ash though, the first time they hear about it, they would be overwhelmed with a mix of emotions; disbelief, anger, outrage, sadness, sorrow, despair, all of them broil in them until they feel like they wanna puke.

For the first time in their life, they say no to Luka's and Grandpa's order. They can't kill MC; they'd rather die than being forced to do that. But they also probably wouldn't help MC because they'll feel so betrayed by what MC has chosen to do.

And even, if by some miracle, either Luka or Grandpa manage to convince them to go after MC, once they actually confront MC, it would be a guarantee loss for them. They would either not be able to go through with delivering the final blow to MC, or they would be too distraught to be able to fight properly, or maybe... they would intentionally lose and die so they won't have to make the hard decision of either siding with MC or with Luka and Gramps.

Luka probably won't be so cruel as to send Ash to do it. He'll probably send Jackal or just put a huge bounty on MC's head and let all the other hitmen fight over it.

Honestly, depressing for everyone involved 😔

#asks #anon ask #AU #ro: ash #char: mc #char: luka #char: grandpa #if: vendetta #vendetta if #if vendetta #if game #if wip #dashingdon #choicescript #hosted games

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princesschimchim1325 · 11 months

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Love for Geppie?????? Thank God, he deserves that love!!!

I'm here to drop off like a thought/cute headcanon of like my fave trope ever!

Gepard usually stays in the frontlines, usually taking in all the damage and aggro for his soldiers (I know that's his role even in game/being the tank and all but every time he gets hit and he like screams I wince hhhh) so imagine a reader who is in charge of like taking care of the wounded soldiers so she's had more than enough times dealt with Gepard (so she knows him but he doesn't quite know her yet) already.

One day, the camp had been ambushed by a bunch of Fragmentum monsters and the main force is too busy with the Frontlines so reader here, despite being a healer, had to step up as technically the only one at that time who walked a Path and can heal whoever is left to be able to fight back and give the wounded time to escape. Gepard manages to make it back in time and give enough support so they all make it out. But he was already so wounded so reader takes special care of the Captain.

By the time he wakes up, reader has been in charge of his health exclusively, being the one to nurse him back to help (partially in thanks for saving her but also because she felt the most responsible for some of his aggravated wounds) and the way she treats him slowly has him go head over heels for her. Even after she no longer needed to take care of him extensively, Gepard finds himself spending his excess free time by her tent, just chatting and getting to know her better.

By the time he realizes that he has fallen in love with his caretaker, they were very close friends and he's gotten to know her a lot.

(Yes I'm a sucker for the Florence Nightingale effect/trope and yes I will die on a hill putting this trope on my fave charas and reader asdfjgktiejdkdo)

You're right and u should say it. I noticed that Geppie def doesnt get as much attention and love as much as the other guys 😔 I love the other guys too but Geppie is my number one in HSR.

I actually have an oc who hails from a diff world and is part of the express and she was once a nurse during the war in her world. So this ask is sooo perfect xksksksml this is too perfect I'm def making a one shot about this fr

The nurse/healer x injured warrior/soldier trope will forever be dear to me, like it is sooo romantic and sweet. Fr, Gepard is a wholeass unit and tank of a man xjnskwmskw

But every now and then, a shield becomes a bit too chipped to ignore and this is very true to Gepard whenever he becomes injured. Ohh yes the capable healer being the only fighter in a camp and then Gepard bulldozing in like the knight in shining armor he is despite being injured himself is just 👌 and then he just passes out in healer reader's arms nnggg

Him being naked from the waist up and waking up to reader's tiddies right up his face bc she's wrapping bandages around him and he just splutters, not knowing where he can look 😭

This became a normal occurence in the duration she nursed him back to health bc of his injuries, like the areas he cant reach like his back, needed to be tended by a professional.

Him noticing the difference in their hands 😭 his are scarred and calloused while hers are soft and dextrous 🥺

And when he's fully recovered, he still goes to her, making an excuse that it's for check ups until there's no more excuses, they just spend time together and he always looks forward to their tea time, and she does too. She's always flustered and smiley whenever her favorite patient is around.

They're idiots in love and everybody in the camp knows it, except the two people who are in love 💀

But, at one point, nightingale reader works herself to the bone to the point of collapsing and when Gepard hears of it, he rushes to her, for once letting his men take care of the frontlines.

And this time, when she wakes up, he's right next to her, holding her hand. She gets a scolding from him and when she objects that he often overworks himself too, he gets frustrated and he just pulls her for a kiss 😩

I could go on about Nightingale reader and Gepard but I'll just have to save that for the oneshot 😏

#gepard x reader #gepard landau #honkai star rail #honkai star rail x reader #fem reader #hsr x reader #gepard #honkai gepard

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skzoologist · 2 months

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Hiya!

I come bearing updates on uh how life is going here? I don't remember where I left off so-

Um 3 day freeze came and went and now our temps are swinging back and forth again between 33-76°F (~1-24°C) for the last like, 3 weeks, everything was,,,ok ish there were some accidents on the road from the ice + snow and ppl not being fully prepared for the ice on the roads, most seem to have not caused fatal injuries? So that's good! 🎉

Classes are a mess rn cuz I never got used to having them back 💀

Uhh I auditioned for a kpop dance team on my college campus and made it in! 🎉🎉 We're learning Energetic by Wanna One, Like Ooh Ahh! by Twice, and Go Big or Go Home by Enhypen this semester, and my friend on the elite team is learning Batter Up by Baby Monster 👀 I made a few friends during the workshops, while waiting for auditions, and during practices!

I also got to celebrate Lunar New Year with my family and spent time at a Lunar New Year festival with some new friends!

I also found out that one of my friends committed to the uni I'm studying at and will be starting her freshman year here in the fall!!

On another note, uh,,,I'm sick 😷 I caught COVID this week 😔😔

How're you doing?

-🐹

Oh, updates! :)

I'm glad most of the accidents were non-fatal, weather seems to be all over the place recently. But even in its sassy presence, we must be careful. So bundle up when needed, dear, we don't want you catching a cold or something worse, like pneumonia. (Thankfully the weather here has been tame and warmer, so nothing major happened here.)

Ugh, classes, I dread the moment I will have them again too. I can only wish you the best of luck and cheer for you from here.

Oooh, a dance team, I am a bit jealous ngl. We didn't have these here, last time I danced anything was in pre-highschool, and it certainly wasn't kpop, haha. Those dances all sound good, hope you'll have fun, especially with your newly made friends!

Was the celebration and Festival fun? It sounds fun, although I wouldn't know a thing, as we don't celebrate it here.

Having an old-time friend at uni is always a bonus! I sadly didn't have this opportunity, but I hope you'll enjoy it to its fullest.

Hey now... How did that happen? Do you have anyone who can help you, get you things you need and take care of you if needed? :(

I'm uh... Not the greatest. Thinking about what curse was put on me, as my mystery illness is acting up again, but the docs are not finding anything once again. Anyway, good news are that Luna was successfully operated, she is lively and now in a cute lil jacket to protect her scar. Human family members were also successfully operated on, and recovering wonderfully. One of them is defying the laws of biology with how fast their recovery is, haha.

#i'm also trying to get back into writing #but burnout is kind of a bitch #and that burnout is not about my writinf but my whole life #which makes everything a bit harder #so excuse me for not updating Unfamiliarity for so long :(#🐹 anon #potat writes back

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silverbladexyz · 3 months

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If only i recognize your feelings sooner

If only i treasured you more than anything else in this world

If only i had choosen you over her

Then maybe we wouldn't be two worlds apart, but right here in each other's arms

----

I had this in mind when i read the last chapter. Perhaps some thought about y/n from chuuya's pov.

Anw it was a nice fic, really worth the wait! It breaks my heart and maybe it will take a month for me to fully recover from this fic😭💔 thankyou so much

Stop this lowkey made me cry 😭😭😭 (don't stop hehe) The fact that Chuuya could have saved reader if he dated them instead :') but fate is just cruel sometimes... especially in the BSD verse 😔

Oh but anon, thank YOU so much for taking the time to write the lovely poem and leaving a compliment ❤ I'm really glad to see that my series was worth the wait :D even though it probably was a bit too angst ajahsjashs for which you have my most sincerest apologies >.<

I hope you have a lovely day/night, dear anon 💕

#silverbladexyz #<3333 #ask #dear anon #unrequited love fic

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rubin-therubix-loverofblorbos · 10 months

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THE GANG'S ALL HERE {WARNING: PICREW 😦}

Julius Demain Pidieu but what his voice sounds like to me. Sadly, he looks five months old because the picrew I am obsessed with had no wrinkles🥺. He no longer looks like a sweet sphinx cat😭

APRICOT UN'AUTRE PIDIEU IN THE HOUSE. SHE HAS NO CONTENT DESPITE BEING JULES'S CANONICAL DAUGHT- oh. Jules has no content. Like father like daughter 😞.

THIS AUSTRALIAN IS HAVING GAY SEX WITH JULES. {Argent Étolie Chevalier is an OC} {He has like fifteen piercings but I forgor 🤡}

Mommy? sorry. Mommy? sorry. Mommy? sorry. Mo- {Dolores Toujours Pideu, Apricot's cool lesbian albino trans aunt that is going to kill me with her beauty}

Callahan Cyra Jumanah is Dolores's sweetheart, and I AM ALSO GOING CRAZY OVER HER. POWER COUPLE ULTIMATE EDITION. { Some people think she's faking her condition -chronic pain in her left leg and fatigue- because she can walk [with a cane]} {She has to hold Dolly back}

LET'S GIVE IT UP FOR MASC GENDERFLUID PEOPLE WOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOO {Coquille Bleue Pidieu is the eldest sibling of the three and can sense colors, shapes, and shadows despite being legally blind.}

WE ARE OUTGUNNED, OUTMANNED. OUTNUMBERED, OUTPLANNED- {Captain Héraklès Alcides Puissant-Redevance of the RCM is an old family friend}

WHERE THE HOOD WHERE THE HOOD WHERE THE HOOD AT-{Amoureux Perdue Du'Passe, Jules's former work partner and spouse. Sadly, he was killed on the force a few weeks after Apricot died of brain cancer. It was not a good year for Mr Pidieu.}

W. what if. Jeannie-Marie but when she was young. She was able to work around the giant black ink stain on her yellow dress by finding a thick but comfy sweater. She's one of those people who cannot fucking feel heat so she's alright. {PRETTY WONMAN😳🤤 WITH COCK?????? AMAZING 💯💫⭐🔥🌟✨⚡🎉🎊❤️🧡💛💚💙💜🤎🖤🤍♥️💘💝💖💗💓💞💕💌💟❣️❤️‍🩹❤️‍🔥💋🫂🫀👁️👅👁️👀👍👏👌🤌🤙🤝🤜🤛🙏}

Look, Young Renė was a little cinnamon roll. He could make the most "Fuck dem kids" person into preschool teacher worthy in less than an hour. But y'know, kindness sometimes drowns in hate and PTSD. Although, current Renė MIGHT not make you want to throw a fucking grenade at him if you're at the "Okay, you can put your hand on my wrist BUT THAT'S IT." stage. Zero people are currently at that stage because J-M isn't part of the lore anymore. Also, yeah Renė's trans. trans people can be inconsiderate assholes, we're not sparkles and rainbows. I mean, Look at me. I might not be inconsiderate but I CAN be an ass-of-the-hole.

Lieutenant Leo hey uh what's that say? K. WHAT. KITSURAGI??? OH MY FUCKING GOD. W H A T? {<-My brain in the process of making this guy up.} {LOOK IT'S KIM'S HALF [?] SEOLITE DAD!} {Btw despite the resting bitch face he's a nerdy sweetheart that loves cars. y'know like his son. I'm going to cry.}

Cecelia Davenport/Kitsuragi, Kim's fuckin' MILF of a mom. She and Leo LOVED to match. I'm welling up again. Btw she wasn't fully finished because it was three fucking AM when I made her so. 😔.

I feel like Gaston was a little fuckboy in his teens. I mean, he was still polite though and that lead to conversations like: "So uh [Lip bite} What're you doin' later? OH, FUCK you're grandma's recovering from cancer???? That's amazing! I hope she gets better soon! I can buy some flowers for her if it would cheer her up a bit! Have a good day!" Then Renė comes up and is like "Dude. You fucking sweetheart. Stop acting like a charity and get some goddamn pussy."

DORA THE DIVORCE EMPLOYER- {Not to be omni but oh my god. oh fuck. golly gee. I wolf whistle while my eyes pop comically out of their sockets and I spontaneously combust then pour a giant bucket of water over myself and steam rises from my ears like a train} {She's not actually in this AU but I love her and felt like making her}

Elizabeth is the type of girl to try and look professional but still go all out. She finally got out of the gardener's clothes and is slaying hard. Now, speaking of har-

Made Marie without her hijab because I'm a feral fucking animal and I legit couldn't imagine her hair correctly without reference and ALSO

REMADE YOUNG RENÉ BECAUSE I HATE THE FIRST ONE. Also I hate that you can't color the facial hair because it looks like his hair is dyed when he's just like that.

LOOK, IT'S LILLIANOVICH! What the FUCK would this bitch wear when he was a kid? Just made some shit up bro. Also, I like to think he uses reading glasses even though he has pretty good eyes overall.

THERE WE GO

LINK: X

#oh no they're hot #rubin report #disco elysium #send help #sillyposting #jules pidieu #picrew #picreations #dora ingerlund #elizabeth beaufort

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divyny · 10 months

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Active ~ November 2023

Introduction post!...

Hi! You can call me Divy

I'm 20 years old

I've had problems with food and body image since I can remember, but I went anorexic around 13

I partially recovered at 15, but relapsed hard this year

I'm really bad at social media so I'll be posting very from time to time (mostly just reposting things I like)

English is not my mother tongue so sorry from any misspelling 😔

I don't support meanspo, fatspo, or any type of mean behavior/disrespect/bullying

I'm totally pro recovery and I encourage you to do so, this is a mental disease that has caused me more problems than I can count over my life

If you are a minor, please, DO NOT interact with me, if I see any interaction I will block you, I want to see you safe

This is where I can find peace and safety, so please block me, don't report

Quite over to say but this a LGBTQ+ safe and support account

You can talk to me anytime!

Stats:

Height: 161cm

Cw: 51kg ¿?

Gw1: 49kg 🔒

Gw2: 47kg 🔒

Gw3: 45kg 🔒

Ugw: 43kg 🔒

Fully recovered from:

-Self harm

-OCD

-Suicidal depression

#ed not ed sheeran #ed not sheeren #tw ana recovery #tw ed sheeran #tw ed recovery #tw ana shit #⭐️ving #🕯️as a 🪶#@na tips #tw ana diary #ana trigger #tw disordered eating #tw ed rant #ed bllog #ed behaviour tw

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aquariasmoon · 1 year

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So like I got some really good news about reducing some of the medication I've been on. Like awesome, they have been trying to slowly get me off this stuff for years because while it helps me like..not die it's not good to be on it long term like I have lmao.

I'm finally recovered enough from literal organ failure that it's finally safe for me to reduce and they are letting me go right down to a really low dosage now. but I did get the warning that I will go through drug withdrawal(ㆆ_ㆆ;) . I was given the option to stagger (and honestly I still can) but like I was like fuck it, I ain't no bitch.

soo...here I am and like the past week, I've like not really done anything? How is it friday???? All I've done is sleep, have tired legs and a somewhat mild headache. That and getting weirdly emotional about not being able to have tomato soup the other day?? 😂 ...I still want soup 😔

I was talking about feeling a bit off and was told, uh yeah you're going through drug withdrawal. I thought I just felt kinda shitty sdfjksfjkf I honestly thought something scary sounding like "drug withdrawal" would feel a lot worse, especially since they gave me the option to stagger my dosage. Like I doubt I'm just hulking this out and that my symptoms are actually mild lmao. Thankfully no pain or any super bad symptoms if anything I've just been...super brain empty.

Still the past week I've legit been like

So yeah...sorry If you have tried talking to me the past week or so and I've not really gotten back to you my brain is like flatlining at the moment lmao.

Eh either way reducing is really worth it! I hope to fully get of this medication this year, if I could do that I would be so happy 😭 I've been stuck on it for about 5-6 years now! This medication actually causes a lot of problems for me so I'll be glad to be finally rid of it!

#where I have been...and will be #personal rants #tw medical #Am I super strong or is this not so bad? XD

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wondernus · 1 year

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heehee hiiii! riley and i are good! 💗 she had a watery eye last week (ocular allergy 😔) but she's doing better this week!!

OMGGGG KITTY BABIESSSS 😍😍😍😍 i love them, they look cute and chaotic, which is a great kitty combination :'DDD and you get to live with four kitty babies!!!! what are their namesss 🥺

awww I hope the baby is feeling better and is fully recovered ☹️☹️

but they're my housemate's cats!! we have a fourth one coming soon but we don't know when :-(( their names are in chinese so I'll give you the names that I give them AHAHAAH

first one doesn't have a nickname yet. he's super shy so he's still warming up to me.

second one is the rat. he is a rat. fake asf. is mean to the other cats but would act super cute when he sees you.

third one is the gremlin. black cats are truly a different breed. he only goes into my bedroom to play with the string I left on the floor for him. gives me a new bite on my arm every single week.

I feel like i'm introducing the plastics ABABAHAHALAKSBSKAK but they get several treats daily!! thinking ab buying treats for them on my way home from class tmr hehe

#💌 ━ replies #FROM! - seekingthestars #TOPIC! - pet babies #🤠 ━ moots

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empty-benches · 5 months

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smth abt recovery

(small ed tw ⚠️ //mostly talking abt the positives of my recovery w some references to my past experiences which may be triggering (no #s mentioned dw)- also it's kinda long my bad)

it's been a while since i've talked abt my past struggles w an ed or recovery but i thought i might just bc of how far ive come- like every recovery there's gonna be ups and downs, but after almost 2yrs of being in recovery i've managed to come a long way, and im proud of myself bc i never thought i would recover at all tbh

i've always loved to cook and bake and it's sm more fun when i can make and experiment cooking new recipes that i can fully enjoy and not the extreme lowcal bs (it doesn't taste good ikyk 😔😔). it's a passion and i only want to learn more now that im not so limited

also i have sm more energy than i used to- dw im still an adhd burnout but i never realized how much of a difference eating had on ur energy and mood until i started recovering. plus i started to be able to feel my feelings again, the good and the bad. but i think its worth it to take the risk of crashing and burning than to not be able to experience how much good there really is in the world. there are some amazing things to feel and experience in life if u only let yourself open up and actually feel them

and i'm so so glad to be over the internalized fatphobia i had going on too. getting over internal biases takes time but is well worth it. i may of not thought or acted badly towards fat ppl, but part of the ed i'm recovering from was the fear of being seen as fat myself- which there is absolutely nothing wrong with being. you should be able to be happy and confident in whatever shape or size your body comes in. we have this one life and you can do whatever you want really, don't let anyone (including urself😤) make you miserable over something as unimportant as your size. there's sm more to life than that

but hey this is just my experience,, and for me im never looking back from recovery- its done me sm good. also i know at the end of the day,, eds are a coping mechanism- even if its a really terrible one. if you are struggling thou, im sorry for what youre going through, pls just try to get through today, appreciate all the little things that bring you joy, let your feelings rise through you like smoke and find yourself some ways to let them out

thx for reading if you did lol, bit of a longer post here but i hope you have a good day- here's to 2yrs of recovery and to many yrs to come✌🏽

#ed recovery #personal #ana recovery #mia recovery

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criceofpain · 1 year

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RICEY ARE YOU still busy these days? all I remember from you was choir practice in September akjshdasjkdhas IT'S NOVEMBER NOW CAN YOU BELIEVE IT? how are you????

NANA OMG so much stuff has happened

i got sick for two weeks and recovered fully just before jake's birthday has come,,, took a break from choir as well because i needed to exercise for a while and actually take care of my physical health 💀 but anyways i'm fine now, aein is ready to be published this week or next and i'll be putting out some of my old works!

P.S. AMBULANCIA GOT MY PUSSY THROBBING LAST NIGHT 😔 it was so good

#[ ❓ ] — asks #[ 🖤 ] — moots #[ 🍥 ] — nana

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traumxrei-archive · 2 years

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aaaaaaaaaa i'm glad i'm not being a bore with my octopus infodump ksldjfkfsjd

azul just struggling during beans day and running around trying to keep up with jack despite the constant threat of flatlining is somewhat, funny sick 😂 the imagery of just, azul looking ragged, panting and wheezing as he tries to break into a sprint, feet dragging and looking like he's about to trip and eat shit at any moment.

jade just carries an aed everywhere with him just in case azul's heart starts going funny...

but also it somewhat, makes me feel bad... if azul's cardiovascular system is that trash he should really follow a modified pe programme... vargas pls... 😔

that being said, i personally would imagine that he will be careful not to push himself too much? since you'd think he'd be able to feel when his heart is about to fail (feeling faint, shortness of breath, etc..)

i'm not fish enlightened so i'm not sure how an octopus would recover from their heart stopping (maybe it just, kickstarts by itself if the octopus ceases activity? i'm not sure... maybe the branchial hearts eventually revives the systemic/main heart? aye...)

though supposedly an octopus can have its main heart stop for over an hour without any negative side effects...

it's sort of, eerie. to imagine azul in pe class or just, going through a busy day. and everything is fine at first glance, but when you take a closer look, you realise he's almost not breathing. and he wouldn't have a pulse...

on another note, in people, your heart stopping completely (flatline aka an asystole) isn't exactly, a situation you would want to be in.

iirc an aed (or defibrillators in hospitals) doesn't shock a stopped heart back to life, in fact it's the opposite: it stops the (irregularly beating) heart so that you can reset it to a normal rhythm. so it's used during cardiac arrest caused by the heart beating out of rhythm/erratically (not stopped completely), like too fast or too slow (among others).

an asystole is generally irreversible in people... so unfortunately jade zapping azul would do little to help...

speaking of jade, i find it fascinating that (some) moray eels have glass (-like) teeth. morays have got to be some of my favourite sea creatures, they're just so goofy looking with their mouth constantly open like :V

(and also, goodness, i'm flattered that you enjoy my silly illustrations 😂 porridge leona has confronted me to the mortifying ordeal of being perceived 😂😂)

(the continuation of this)

IM SO SORRY THIS REPLY TOOK SO LONG FALSE !! i got caught up in the event so ur ask got pushed down im very sorrryyy T^T pls forgive meeee aaaaa

also im so sorry for putting the idea in ur brain *wheeze* but azul just d wording n then getting up again like everything's fine is just. peak comedy to me.

lmao n then jade explaining that he has an aed lisence just for these types of situations– (everyone getting shocked that the dude who beats ppl up carried a thing that helps ppl not die in certain situations–)

alsp yea. vargas probably doesnt understand mer-biology, like he thinks everything translates smoothly bc of the potion even tho they retain some animal characteristics fjfjfjfjjsjs

yea maybe they have a magical explanation as to how azul walks around with a stopped heart, he probably feels it happening and can either get himself to the nurse or since he's been living with it all his life, he probably has a spell for helping regulate his heart shdhdjfj (it's no use to him when he's dog tired like he was in beansfest tho T^T)

OH MY GOD YES. THE GLASS TEETH– i hc that the tweels aren't fully one type of moray, actually they've probably got a mix of creatures in them so them having glass teeth in their mer form...it makes them deadlier bc you gotta watch out for the teeth you can AND can't see (like the pharyngeal jaws. i keep thinking abt their pharyngeal jaws and i can't sleep at night)

also yes morays are so cute i just wanna squish one despite the fact that it'd probably chomp my hand off–

and speaking of their mouths going :V I THINK ABT THE CLEANING SHRIMPS N MORAYS' MUTUALISTIC RELATIONSHIP– it's so cute bc floyd calls us "little shrimpy" so it's kinda like we became his little cleaning shrimp esp if we worked at mostro lounge,,, we keep things clean n he proteccs us from potential danger !!

(ITS OK TO BE PERCIEVED !! kinda scary at first but ppl do b staring n loving ur art <3 (it's me, i'm people) and keep up the good work wooo)

#/trau replies #/pointedly foolish #/moots <3 #you could say that jade is #moray-lly grey #badum tsssssss #leave me n my animal puns alone-#azul ashengrotto #floyd leech #jade leech #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland headcanons

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mutualmango · 2 years

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it's been a truly terrible few days for me. a few months ago my cat kiwi developed a hernia, which the first vet we saw brushed off as not terribly severe. they told us at her age (14 years old) anesthesia could be more dangerous than the hernia itself, and to just monitor it to make sure there are no constrictions. in hindsight i wish i hadn't settled for such an impermanent solution and sought a second opinion right away. well now it's progressed to being larger and more dangerous for her, and we've been referred by a different vet to a specialist and she's going to need very extensive (and expensive) surgery because she doesn't have much healthy abdominal tissue left for them to repair it, and they'll likely have to use a hernia mesh and other more advanced processes to close her up.

probably needless to say but i've been in a really dark place. first and foremost wondering if i'm going to lose my baby, then worrying about the large amounts of money i don't have but desperately need to get her the care she needs, and generally crying until i have no tears left. i hate talking about money on here and it feels so callous to even think of it when my cat's health is on the line, but it's an unavoidable hurdle i'm staring at right now and it makes me literally sick. i was already in a very low place before all of this started and now i'm... i'm struggling. i don't know what tomorrow holds and i'm filled with dread for every passing second. it's hard for me to find the strength to do what i need to because i just want to curl up and sleep so i don't have to feel this anymore.

then to make it worse, this evening—about 12 hours after the vet visit for kiwi—indiana (my other 14 year old cat) was laying next to my brother's cat when suddenly she just turned around and popped him right in the eye with her claw and made a big gash in his cornea. it looked so painful, poor thing 😔 we rushed him to the emergency vet (it was almost midnight) and they gave him some pain medicine and drops to prevent it from getting infected. we also had a scary moment after they gave him the pain drops; right after the vet tech left the room he started foaming at the mouth and i thought he was having a severe reaction. but apparently their tear ducts are connected to their nose and mouth so he was just tasting the really awful drops and trying to get it out.

thankfully it seems like the claw didn't penetrate deeply and he'll recover fully, but today i've spent over five hundred dollars on basic treatment and consultation for my cats and we haven't even seen the specialist for kiwi yet which i'm worried will be impossibly expensive. i hate this world and capitalism and money and the ways not having enough of it can influence every damn decision we make even when it comes to caring for living things. everything is bad all the time, distractions are the only thing keeping me alive. i feel guilty and helpless and scared and sad and like things will never get better. my cats are genuinely family to me and we've been through so much shit together, they've been a comfort to me when i felt completely alone in the world and i'm. just not coping well.

sorry for the personal (and depressing) post, i know a lot of people don't expect this sort of thing on my blog because i haven't opened up much on here in a long time. i just needed to get some of this out of my head and vent a bit. ❤️ please bear with me.

#i don't even know how to tag this anymore #i don't know what'll get me blacklisted

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roomeight · 2 years

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Hi, I just wanted to say that In the recent graham allegations that I believe the women and support them fully. I met graham in 2016 during a show. Even though his wife and child was there it did not stop him from flirting with me. As the girls mentioned, he plays it shy even childlike but he knows what he does. I told my self that it was all in my head, that i'm do plain or ugly for him to care but I don't know what to think anymore. I love blur they were a big part of my degree project.

I'm so sorry 😔 I've noticed that about him too, it's kind of like Woody All*n (maybe not the best example but the best I can think of), where on the surface is a very shy, neurotic person who can be charming because of their neuroses but really has some deep-seeded issues with his relationships. It's easy to have empathy for him and it clouds your judgement, especially super young people (like the girls who were 19/20). Even now people are saying he's being abused by these allegations, but the man is 50 something liking narcissist tweets after women ask him for a statement. That's so manipulative. I've known many narcissistic people and been on the bad end of them a lot and I recognize that behavior of liking the tweet as a manipulation, to undermine the truth and create a story that he is being victimized.

Idk I've just been thinking about his whole recovered alcoholic narrative and how it might be fabricated now...makes me sad. I think about how I believed Essy was manipulative and fed into that narrative of his too. (Not saying either are wholly innocent, but I felt like Essy was painted to be a horrible liar who abused Graham) I feel lied to, but I guess that's my fault for believing the fandom narrative about him/putting him on a pedestal.

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