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yelenasdiary · 2 months

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Forbidden || Chapter I - Welcome To Blisswater

Pairing: Yelena Belova x Bishop! Reader.

Summary: Just outside of the small town of Blisswater, lives two young sisters, Kate & Y/n Bishop. It's hard not to know who the Bishops are, Kate is the eldest by a year. She is a beautiful young woman, smart, protective and is known to have a talent in using a bow. Y/n, she is shy but quiet as some would say but nevertheless, she holds her own talents and can often be seen tending to the animals of Bishop Ranch. One evening while Kate is out hunting to make some money, Y/n is surprised with an unwanted guest, Yelena Belova. A bounty Hunter from Drybellow who has taken shelter in the young Bishop's barn after being wounded from a gun fight.

Struggling to keep money following, Y/n has no choice but to take the bounty hunter's offer of $5 a day if she is able to help the woman recover. During Yelena's stay, the two grow closer, a little too close if the wrong pair of eyes were to see them.

| No Warnings, I don’t think? | 3.6K |

Forbidden Masterlist

"I'm leaving Lucky here with you" Kate, my older sister said as she entered the dining room, "I'll be gone for a least two days at the most. Will you be okay to handle things here?" she asked. A few, long months ago, our parents went on a business trip and are yet to return. Kate and I have been left to run the ranch and keep money flowing until they return, although we haven't heard from them, not even a single letter. My worries for them are endless. "Of course, I will be" I smiled before taking a mouthful of the porridge I made for us.

"Do you need anything from town before I go?" she asked while putting her bowl in the sink for me to wash later, "no, I think we have everything we need. Just be safe, please" I looked to her. "Always, rabbit" she smiled. Kate has always called me rabbit, ever since we were younger. It comes from when my adult teeth were still coming through, they reminded her of a rabbit's front teeth when they would nibble on their food. "I'm just going to go get Arrow saddled up then I'll be on my way" she added before walking out the back door.

I'm used to Kate leaving for a day or two, she goes off hunting for us while I tend to the ranch. We have 3 cows, 5 pigs and 6 sheep! All of which have names of their own, of course. I've been saving some money to buy a couple of chickens so we can have our own fresh eggs. My father said we'd get some but that was before he and mother left on their trip. Today seems like it will be an easy day, feed the animals then off to the general store for my shift.

"Alright, you know the rules" Kate spoke as she returned from saddling up Arrow, "father's rifle is in the case under your bed and please, don't let any of those wandering men stay too long! You can't trust everybody just because they say they've had a long day" she adds. "Yes, I know! You don't need to remind of that every single time, it was just once. Besides, Mr Lang has some very interesting stories to tell" I replied. I wish Mr Lang would return; his stories were almost unbelievable.

"I guess I don't need to remind you to get some more coffee and canned peaches after your shift then?" Kate rolled her eyes at me as she tucked a few canned goods into her saddle bag. "You just did" I replied, sarcastically. "Let's go Lucky! We don't want to be late" I patted my right thigh after placing my used bowl in the sink for laters problem. "Hey!" Kate stopped me just as I was leaving the kitchen, "be safe, okay? If you need anything Mr Barnes is only a call away" she reminds me, again!

We have a bell that Kate brought, it's rather large. I am to ring it if I'm in any trouble and Mr Barnes, the Salon owner, will come over and see what the matter is. Im not exactly sure how he's able to hear the ringing sound from so far away, we've done a couple of test runs and so far I haven't had the need to use it.

"Yeah yeah, how about you be safe? I can't do everything around here if you go missing too!" I smiled softly at my older sister, she knows I'm joking. If anything were to happen to her, she knows I'd be okay…I guess.

Lucky follows me around everywhere, especially when Kate goes off on her hunt. He'll come to the general store and wait outside by the door until I've finished my duties. Mr Wilson doesn't mind, he loves Lucky and even asked Aunt May to bake some of her famous cookies that everybody in town loves, she makes a little extra and dog friendly ones for Lucky. Everybody calls her Aunt May, not really sure why though, I think it's because she's such an aunt to everybody. Almost like a grandma that cooks everybody's favorite treats for the tea party.

The walk to town is always peaceful. In the warmer seasons, it can be rather hot but on days like today when the sun is just starting to peek over the mountains from afar, the wind isn't too cold and the birds sing their morning song, it's relaxing and maybe I tend to take smaller steps just to soak up the morning fresh air before I stay inside for most of it.

"Good morning young Y/n!" A rather tall and very muscular man smiles to me, it's Thor. Nobody actually knows why his name is Thor, considering it's a very unusual name but he's very lovely. "Good morning, Thor! Keeping well I see" I replied with a friendly smile as Lucky and I slowly make our way past the Salon. "Oh, you know me! Can't resist the great liquor that is served here" the most likely drunken man chuckles. It's barely 7am and he is drinking. I guess that's a hobby for most people around here.

Blisswater isn't a town for much entertainment, you have your basics. The Saloon ran and owned by Mr Barnes, the General store ran and owned by Mr Wilson, the doctors office with the only doctor within miles, Mr Banner. The gunsmith, Mr Barton owns and supplies Kate with discounts on arrows and sometimes ammunition for us. Mr Fury is the towns barber, my father wasn't a fan of him but when he was desperate for a cut, he had no choice but to see him. Then there's Sheriff Rogers, T'Challa the friendly banker, Peter the newspaper boy (by the way, he's love for me isn't exactly a secret!) and Mr Quill is the towns blacksmith.

So that's all there really is to know about who lives in and around Blisswater, it's a small town. A town where everybody knows everybody, and word travels faster than you can blink! We all look out for each other here and most don't take kindly to newcomers. Sometimes we have outlaw gangs come passing through, they spend the night at the Saloon, get drunk and make a mess of themselves before pushing on by the afternoon. The walk-through town the following morning is usually a sight of Mr Barnes boarding up the windows of the Saloon from their drunken fights.

The bell rings loudly as I open the door of the general store, and I'm greeted with Mr Wilson's warm and welcoming smile. "Good morning, Mr Wilson!" I smiled.

"Please, Y/n, call me Sam! I've known you long enough" he chuckles before reaching down behind the counter for the plate of Aunt May's famous cookies.

"I'm sorry, it's habit! I see Aunt May has come early this morning" I wandered up to the counter taking one delicious treat. "Lucky's biscuits are back here as well; did you bring him this morning?" Mr Wilson, I mean, Sam asked. "Of course! Kate is out today and left him all to me" I took a small bite out of the homemade goodness. "Parents off again?" he questioned, I nodded lightly. I miss them so much.

"Well, I've got the perfect job to keep your mind distracted. How about you watch the store today?"

"Alone? Me? Are you sure?" I asked with a mouth full of cookie.

"Yeah, I have a couple of things that need my urge attention. I wasn't going to open today but I think you're ready for this. What do you say? You can even bring Lucky inside if you want" Sam smiled proudly. I thought about it for a moment while I finished my morning treat, it can't be that hard, right?

"Sure! I can hold the fort as they say" I replied with a smile, wiping the crumbs from my lips with the back of my hand.

"I'll be back before closing, earlier I can. If you need anything, slip out the back door. I don't need to tell you this, I know" he chuckled, "Bucky will be around if you need anything" he assures me. I guess that's the handy thing about having your store next door to a saloon. "You're starting to sound like Kate!! I'll be fine, I have Lucky! What's the worst that could happen?" I raised a brow.

"Right" my boss smirked, "well you already know where the stock deliveries are, and you know your main duties. Just don't leave the store unattended" he reminds me, I playfully rolled my eyes at him as he stepped away from the counter. "Stop stressing, Sam, the store will be fine. Go do what it is that you need to do" I hoped the door, patting my thigh for Lucky to enter.

Mr Wilson left as Lucky made himself welcome in the store, I closed the door and treated Lucky to his own biscuit before starting to restock the shelves.

——

"Good afternoon, Y/n!" A familiar voice sings louder than the bell as the door fly’s open. "Peter! How are you?" I smiled softly as I was greeted with a smile of his own. "Oh you know how it is, busy busy!" He chuckles, "I ran into Mr Wilson earlier, he mentioned you were here alone today so I thought I'd come by and see if you, uh, needed anything" he adds. A hint of red fills his cheeks while his eyes struggle to stay connected to mine.

It's no secret that young Peter Parker has a crush on me, the entire town knows it. Although he is a very sweet young gentleman, I guess I've just never found myself interested in him in a romantic manner. In fact, I've never really thought about anybody in a romantic manner now to think of it…

"You're very sweet, Peter. Thank you but things are pretty good. I've had no troubles today and please, thank your Aunt May for the cookies and Lucky's treats!"

"Oh, you're welcome! You know Aunt May, always baking" Peter chuckles once more. I could sense a hint of nerves in his voice and the redness in his cheeks grew deeper. "Peter, is everything okay? Do you need a drink? Some water?" I asked with a concerned frown. "No, no. I'm more than fine, thank you. It's just, it's getting a bit wild out there and I thought I'd walk you home later when you're finished here. Don't want you getting sick or anything" he gives me another soft smile.

"It's meant to rain?" My frown only grew bigger as I looked out the window. Dark gray skys covered the town and beyond, distant flashes of lighting lit up the darkness for a moment. Wind blew the dry leafs onto the Main Street, horses stomped their hoofs with every crack of thunder that could be heard from the far, far distance.

"Well shoot!" I sighed.

"Did Mr Wilson tell you when he'd be back?" Peter asked.

"Sure hope it is soon, I have the animals I should move into the barn before the storm arrives"

"It doesn't seem like it is far off. Maybe I could watch the store for you? I wouldn't mind at all"

"You're very kind, Peter but I'm not sure if Mr Wilson would appreciate me leaving the store in somebody else's hands. I know you wouldn't ruin the place or steal from him but he is trusting me today and I don't want him to think otherwise" I explained as I watched the dark clouds darken, it'll be a big storm by the looks.

"I'd be more than happy to make sure your stock is in the barn then" he offered, I turned to him and kindly shook my head. "I'm sure Mr Wilson will be back soon. Thank you again Peter, you're very kind. If you don't mind, there's a few things I should really get done before Mr Wilson returns" I smiled softly, hoping not to have hurt the boy's feelings.

"I plan on having supper at the Saloon, if you need me, I'll be there" Peter smiles before leaving the store.

For the rest of the afternoon, I cleaned the store and did some stock take and made sure the store was exactly how Mr Wilson would like to have it when he returns and just my luck, he returns before the storm hammers down.

"Y/n, thank you for all your help today!" He walks into the store, placing his hat on the coat rack. He looked rather dirty; a nice bath would be in order for when he gets home if I didn't know better.

"You're welcome, Mr Wilson! I'm sorry to leave in a rush but I really need to be getting home before the rain starts" I grabbed my things, Lucky following closely behind me.

"Of course, you best be safe now"

I rushed out of the store, glad the rain hadn't started pouring down as yet but it was coming. You could smell it, the thunder got louder, the lighting got closer and the wind got stronger. The main street was quiet as people already began to make their way indoors until the storm pushed over.

"Come on, Lucky! We haven't got much time!" I patted my thigh lightly before Lucky and I began to race home.

——

The rain soaked the dry ground as expected and Lucky and I were able to get the animals into the barn before it came down heavy. I left a lantern in the barn just so I could keep an eye on it from the house, Kate hates when I do that, says it's a waste of resources but she'll thank me one day for it.

"How long do you think she'll be this time Lucky?" I looked towards him as we both rested by the fire. He tilts his head at me as if he truly understands what I am saying. We listen to the rain dance on the roof and wind whistle outside while the fire cracks and keeps us warm. It's nights like this that I wish Kate wouldn't go off hunting, it's most lonely at night. But I know we need the money, just until mother and father come home.

"Come Lucky, let's check the barn" I stood up from my mothers rocking chair, and wandered over to the window. A frown creeps upon my brows when I notice the lantern, I left behind earlier in the night was gone. I rushed to my room and grabbed the rifle under my bed, grabbed my father's thick coat, a lantern and headed for the backdoor with Lucky right beside me. It was only a short walk from the house to the barn, but the rain was quick to soak me in its gift to the ranchers. Slowly, I pushed the large wooden door open, my rifle tightly in my grip. Lucky entered first, sniffing the ground for anything that didn't belong while I slowly followed behind him, one foot after another.

Only a few steps in and I saw the lantern I had left behind, in the corner where Kate's horse would've been stabled. "Come out! I have a gun and I am not afraid to use it!" I called out, keeping my distance. Lucky walked quickly over to the empty stable slot, growling. "I said come out!" I repeated.

"Don't shoot" a thick Russian accent came from the corner of the barn, "I won't hurt you, just call off the dog, please" the unknown voice added.

"How can I trust you? You're a stranger in my barn! I have every right to shoot you"

"Trust me, if I were here to harm you, you'd already be dead"

I took a few small steps closer to them, Lucky stood his ground and continued to growl. I wasn't going to tell him to back off just yet. "What are you doing here? Do you always just welcome yourself into other people's properties like this?" I asked.

"You ask too many questions" the voice replied, "call the dog off, please" they asked once more.

"Lucky, back!" I called once I laid my eyes on the intruder. A young woman, maybe no older than me. Blonde hair that was braided and she certainly didn't seem to dress how most women dress. Beside her was her gun belt and holster, her hat placed freely beside them. The woman was covered in blood, her right hand pressed tightly against her left shoulder. "You're hurt" you spoke softly while keeping my rifle pointed at her.

She chewed her bottom lip and nodded, "I'll be gone by morning, I just need a place to stay for the night"

"How can I trust your word?" I asked. The woman smirked like I had just made a joke, an odd joke if my question was funny to her.

"I know better than to kill a rich small-town girl" she replies causing me to frown at her words.

"I am not rich girl. So, if you planned on robbing me later, you would find nothing, I can assure you of that"

She chuckled, "well, maybe not rich but you are well off than others. Besides, I have no interest in robbing homesteads"

"You know nothing about me" I snapped, pointing my rifle at her a little higher, aiming for her head. "Get off my property!" I demanded. Lucky growled once more, showing the unknown intruder his sharp canine teeth.

"Maybe we could come to a deal. It seems money is a touchy subject to you, yes?" The blonde hissed in pain when she moved her right hand even the slightest inch. I didn't reply, my eyes were drawn to the amount of blood her hand was covered in. "I'll pay you" she spoke, gaining my attention once more, "$5 a day. If you help me. I'll give you the first three days right now if I could move my hand but as you can see, if I do that, I will bleed out" she offers.

"Once I have recovered you will never see of me again, I give you my word" she adds. $5 a day would really help Kate and I and by the looks of her wound, she could be here for weeks. "I know you're thinking about it but I do not have time for you to think" her thick Russian accent brings me out of my thoughts, I nodded as I slowly lowered my rifle.

"We best get you to the house then"

----

"I'm sorry if that hurt" I spoke softly to the blonde as I bandaged her up, after pulling the bullet from her wound and cleaning the area with alcohol, she suggested cauterizing the wound with a lit candle. The smell of burning flesh is something I will never forget. "Don't stress, I've experienced worse" she looked to me with a soft smile.

"How did this happen anyway?" I asked as I started to clean up the mess. I offered the woman my room until she was back on her feet, and I hoped Kate wouldn't have noticed when she came home.

"Just a little miss understanding with an outlaw. I'm a bounty hunter" she informs me.

"A bounty hunter? That's a little strange for a woman to be doing"

"Well, sometimes women just do a job better"

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to offend you. It's not often I meet women who aren't following the rules of society" My eyes dropped, I knew my comment offended her.

"You should travel more; you'd be surprised on what or whom you might come across. What's your name?" She pulled the covers up over her, making herself comfortable on my bed.

"Tell me yours and I'll tell you mine" I looked to her once more. She chuckled, "I'm Yelena, Yelena Belova. Your turn" she replies. I walked towards the bedroom door, my hands full of rubbish from cleaning her wound, "I'm Y/n, Y/n Bishop. I'll get you some water"

"Bishop" Yelena repeated, "your father is Derek Bishop?" she questioned. I nodded slowly, "you know him?" I asked. Yelena shook her head, "no, just heard of him in passing. Water would be great, thank you" she watched as I walked out of the room. Her tone made me question if she was telling the truth; did she know my father? Maybe she knew where my parents were?

Lucky followed me to the kitchen, I grabbed two cups of water and returned to my bedroom, placing one glass on the wooden beside table next to my lantern. "You should get some rest; I'll make breakfast in the morning" I looked to Yelena who reached for her coat that sat at the end of the bed. "As promised, the first three days" she says before handing me $15 dollars in 1 ten-dollar bill and a 5 dollar bill.

"T-thank you" I smiled softly, "do you like coffee? I could make some in the morning" I asked.

"Never start the day without one" she smiled, "goodnight, Y/n" she added.

"Goodnight" I walked towards the door, "oh, I hope you don't mind" I turned to face the blonde stranger once more, "I'm going to lock the door, you know…for safety" I added nervously.

"I thought you would. I understand, I need to gain your trust" she nodded slightly.

"If you need anything, just call out. I won't be far"

"Thank you, again" Yelena smiled once more before I closed the door, making sure it was locked before making my way to Kate's room.

If you want to be on the taglist for this series, please see the masterlist. It's link at the top of this post.

#fanfiction #yelena belova #marvel #yelena belova x reader #natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romanoff #wanda maximoff #wanda maximoff x reader #Kate bishop #kate bishop x reader #forbiddenau

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vanwritesfan-fiction · 10 months

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That's What I Love About You

You knew Travis like the back of your hand. He was adorably predictable, and he told you everything, so it was very difficult for Travis to hide something from you.

“Y/N, from the moment we met, we knew that we were meant to be together. We have tackled so many things together and only gotten stronger in the process. We’ve shared so many incredible moments together, from our first date to our most recent adventure and while we may sometimes scramble, we always end up picking it right where we left off and getting to the end. Every moment we spend together is a treasure to me, and I can’t wait to make even more memories with you. You are my partner in every sense of the word, and I can’t wait to blitz life with you. I’m so grateful for all the adventures we’ve had and all the ones to come. Will you marry me?”

"Are you asking her to marry you or be your offensive coordinator?" Jason had to stifle a laugh as he listened to his brother run through his proposal speech. "What the hell are you talking about?" Travis scrunched his eyebrows together as folded up the paper he had scribbled down his words on, throwing it on the desk. "Tackle, scramble, blitz? You stole that right out of the KC playbook, c'mon man."

"I know football. I don't know how to write a proposal speech. Besides she won't care about that once she sees the ring I picked out for her." Travis flipped the ring box open with his finger, the four-carat diamond glistening in the sunlight coming through his office window. "I've been carrying it around all week since I picked it up on Monday. It's been burning a hole in my pocket."

"Why the hell are you keeping the ring with you?" Travis shifted his phone to his left shoulder, cradling it under his ear. "You're gonna lose it."

"Why do you have zero faith in me?" Travis scoffed at his brother on the other line. "I'm not going to lose something this important to me."

"Do I have to remind you of when you lost that truck in high school?" Jason was still easily angered by the memories.

"I didn't lose the truck. I lost the keys that someone found and used to steal the truck. Two completely different scenarios." Travis rolled the velvet box in his fingers, stroking his thumb over the lid. "Besides, I only need to hide it for a few more hours. I've made it this far, what's the worst that could happen?" He locked the box in top drawer of his desk, placing the key in his pocket, patting it for good luck.

Travis had planned on proposing to you months ago, but it always seemed like the timing was never right. With the season about to start, he felt like he was running out of chances, and he didn't want to go another season without fully committing to you. He wanted to be with you for the rest of his life and this was the first step to forever. Even though he was very nervous, he planned to do it tonight.

He spotted you walking toward him as he was leaving his office. "Hey, aren't you supposed to be meeting your mom to go shopping today?" He had recruited your mom to help you go shopping for an outfit for dinner tonight, as well as taking you to get your hair and nails done under the guise that you and Travis were going to a Chiefs benefit dinner tonight. It was literally killing Travis that he had to keep something from you, his stomach had been hurting all week.

"She’ll be here in about 30 minutes, I just needed grab my computer out of your office really quick." You reached for the doorknob, Travis blocking your way with his large body. "What are you doing?" You raised your eyebrows in confusion. “I don’t think it’s in there. I remember seeing it upstairs in the bedroom.” He leaned against the door handle, his gaze motioning upstairs, trying to distract you. “Travis, you’re being weird. I was in your office last night, I know it’s in there.” Just as he was about to cave in, your phone buzzed in your back pocket. “My mom is 30 minutes early.” You scrolled through your messages, replying that you would be out in a minute.

“You don’t want to keep her waiting.” Travis gave you a small smile, ushering you to the front door. “You’re being really weird. I’m gonna figure out what you’re up to.” You narrowed your eyes at him as you grabbed your purse and keys heading out the door.

****

“Something wrong, hun?” Your mom looked over at you from the driver seat, noticing you picking at the skin around your thumb nail. “Something’s going on with Travis.” Your mom quickly refocused on the road; she didn’t want to ruin Travis’ surprise for you, but she hated keeping secrets from you as well. “I’m sure he’s just nervous about the season starting again.”

“Maybe. But when I tried to go in his office this morning, he was being weird like he was hiding something. Do you think he could be cheating?”

Your mom shook her head fervently. “Honey, Travis loves you so much, he worships the ground you walk on. Trust me, there is no way that he’s cheating on you.”

“You’re right, I’m probably overthinking things.” You wanted to believe her, but the nagging feeling that something was wrong never left you.

You and your mom spent the next couple of hours shopping for a gown for the event, getting your hair and nails done and grabbing lunch before you headed back home. Travis’ car was gone when you arrived, more than likely headed to the practice facility for a meeting. You passed by Travis’ office heading to your bedroom, your earlier encounter making you stop in your tracks. You opened the door, standing in the threshold. Everything seemed to be in place, Travis was a bit messy but there was order to his clutter.

You walked over to his desk, grazing your fingers over the wood. “What could he possibly be hiding?” you said to yourself. You began searching the room frantically, pulling open drawers and looking under books, coming up empty. For some reason you were drawn to Travis’ desk, a large wooden piece he had inherited from his grandparents. You rifled through the drawers nothing but paperwork and notepads inside. Your pulled at the top drawer, groaning when it resisted.

Travis never usually locked any of his desk drawers, which immediately piqued your interest. You pulled a couple of times at the drawer again, unsuccessful. “Hon, where do you keep your milk. I want to put on a pot of coffee.” Your mom walked through the open office door, catching you in the act. “Are we snooping?” You chuckled, realizing where you got your inquisitive nature from. “No, we’re not “snooping” just making sure nothing is wrong.”

“Why do you think Travis is hiding something? Besides today, has he ever given you a reason to doubt him?” Your stomach dropped, knowing your mom was right. Travis was the most loving, understanding, and kind boyfriend you had ever had, and he never did anything to make you question your relationship. “No, you’re right.” But you also knew you’d never sleep again until you found out what was going on, the guilt leaving you as the drawer popped open. You spotted it immediately, the small velvet box tucked away in the corner. “Y/N, I really don’t think you should do this.”

“Travis is going to propose?” You hesitated, your fingertips grazing the lid. Sure, you had talked about getting married, but you had only spoken about it happening in the far future. You were more than ready, but Travis had always seemed hesitant. “I can’t believe this.” You looked back at your mom who was frozen in her spot. “Did you know anything about this?” Travis was traditional, he would definitely ask your parents for their blessing. “No, honestly, I had no idea.” The ring box burned in your hand as you debated whether or not to open it. You barely had time to consider the negatives before you subconsciously flipped the top open. Your face dropped when you saw two diamond earrings, a beautiful set, but definitely not an engagement ring.

“Are you disappointed?” Your mom walked up behind you, placing a hand on your shoulder. “A little.” You could feel yourself start to tear up, embarrassed that you had gotten yourself so excited in the moment. “A lot actually.” You dropped the box back into the drawer, pushing it closed.

****

The ride to the event was noticeably quiet, Travis watching you from the corner of your eye. “You look beautiful, baby.” He placed a hand on your thigh, grazing against the silk fabric of your skirt. “Thank you.” Your tone was flat, your face deadpan as you focused on the scenery out the window. “Is something wrong?”

You composed yourself, sitting up straight in your seat. You didn’t want to let on that you were upset or that you had snooped around Travis’ office without him knowing. “No, just tired.”

“Well, this event should only be a couple of hours and then we can leave if you want.” You nodded, patting Travis’ hand that was still rested on your thigh. “Sounds good.”

The event was a black-tie fundraiser for the city, an opportunity for the football players to brush shoulders with major donors and get them to pull out their checkbooks. You had been to quite a few events as Travis’ date, and for the most part they were pretty monotonous; dinner and drinks, conversation with the other wives and girlfriends, before you were headed home a little tipsy on the glasses of champagne. You spotted Isabelle at your table, happy to see a familiar face. You were still the girlfriend, the bottom of the WAG totem pole, but Isabelle had been nice to you from the beginning, and you considered her a genuine friend. “Hi!” She gave you a tight hug, pulling away from you, her hands resting on your upper arms. “So, let me see it!”

“See what?” You scrunched your eyebrows in confusion. “Your dress of course! Give me a twirl.” She laughed uncomfortably, looking at Travis who was avoiding eye contact with the group. You brushed off the weird interaction, too consumed with your own disappointment at the moment. “C’mon, let’s sit down, it’s time for dinner.” She dragged you by the forearm to the far end of the table, Travis taking a seat next to you.

The party was over pretty quickly, and while you originally thought that it would take your mind of it, you were only left to stew in how you were feeling. Travis noticed that something was off with you; as well as you knew him, he knew everything about you. “What’s going on with you?” He stopped you as you tried to open the passenger door. You took a deep breath, letting out a sigh as you looked up at him. “I found the box.” You crossed your arms over your chest. “What box?”

“The box in your desk drawer, Trav!” You would deal with the repercussions of going through his things later. “Did you dig through my desk?”

“You were being weird this morning, and it was really bugging me. I thought you were cheating on me or something.”

“What?” He shook his head in disbelief. “Why would you possibly think that?”

“I don’t know! You’ve been acting strange lately. Spending a lot of time in your office, and when you’re not in there you’re gone way more than usual during the day. I know you like the back of my hand, and lately I feel like you I don’t know you at all anymore. I know it sounds stupid, but when I saw the box I thought maybe it was an engagement ring, and you were going to propose. God, I wish I had never looked and found those earrings.” You wiped your nose, tears starting to gather in the corner of your eyes.

“I don’t understand why you went through my things, though. We don’t do that to each other. I thought you trusted me.” Travis backed away from you, his features displaying hurt. “I do trust you. I don’t know, this is just me being crazy. I’m very sorry.” You watched Travis walk over to the driver’s side, sliding into his seat. He turned the engine as you got in.

“Travis, please talk to me. Say you forgive me.” You looked at him, his eyes focused on the road. He was silent as he gripped the wheel tightly, the leather squeaking underneath his hold. “I just need some time, ok.” You sunk into your seat, your disappointment from earlier replaced by pangs of guilt. You noticed as Travis turned into the parking lot of Arrowhead stadium, flashing his badge at the security guard, and driving underneath the stadium. He pulled into a space in the player’s lot, turning off the car. “I have to get something out of the locker room. I’ll be right back.” You watched him walk inside, taking of his suit jacket and slinging it over his arm.

Five minutes turned into 10 minutes, and before you knew it you had been waiting on Travis for about 15 minutes, much longer than it should have taken him to go and come back from the locker room. Concerned that something had happened, you entered the building. The hallways were dark, the only sound the clicking of your heels against the concrete floor. You reached the locker room that was pitch dark, no one in sight. You could see a light shining out of the corner of your eye coming from the tunnel that led to the football field. “Travis, where are you?” Your voice echoed as you got closer to the source of light.

You rounded the corner, your mouth falling open as you saw a runway lined with candles, a red carpet leading to the middle of the field where Travis was standing, surrounded by floral arrangements of red roses in a semi-circle around him. “Will You Marry Me” was projected on the big screen, your family and friends seated in the stands. The walk to him felt like it took forever, tears starting to stream down your face before you even reached him.

“How the hell did you manage to pull this off?” Travis chuckled, pulling you in for a kiss, his hands on your lower back. You stroked his beard as you parted, a genuine smile on your face. “Trust me, the surprise has almost been ruined so many times, and when you were suspicious of me this morning, I had to do a quick switch of the ring box for something else because I knew you’d be curious.”

“Am I that predictable?” You laughed, stroking his bicep. “You have no idea. That’s why I love you, though. Now, let me get through this before I back out due to nerves.” You covered your mouth as Travis got down on one knee, looking up at you.

“There are so many things I love about you that I don’t even know where to begin. I love your kind heart and the way you always put others before yourself. Your intelligence and your unwavering passion for the people that you love. I love how much you know me, and how hard it is to keep secrets from you because I want to tell you everything. I love your sense of humor and how you always know how to make me laugh. I love the way you look at me, and how you make me feel like I’m the most important person in the world. Most of all, I love the person you are and the way you make my heart feel. You are my everything, and I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life showing you how much I love you. Will you marry me?”

There it was, the ring you thought you were going to find earlier, finally right in front of you. Travis searched your face, his heart beating out of his chest. “Say something, babe.” Your family and friends were waiting with bated breath, the anticipation killing everyone in the room.

“Is it too late to switch it out for a different ring?”, you whispered, watching Travis’ face drop.

“I’m kidding, I’m kidding, baby! I love it. Yes, a thousand times yes, I will marry you!” You helped him to stand, taking his face in your hands, your lips crashing into a passionate kiss.

“Hell yeah!” You could hear Jason yell from the stands, the rest of the family erupting in cheers.

“Are you trying to give me a heart attack, baby?” Travis asked as you broke.

“I don’t always want to be predictable, what’s the fun in that?”

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#travis kelce fic #travis kelce fluff #travis kelce imagine #travis kelce x reader #travis kelce #traviskelce #nfl fic #nfl fluff #nfl fan fic #nfl imagine

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rafesapologist · 11 months

Text

the set up — rafe cameron; part two

𝘀𝘂𝗺𝗺𝗮𝗿𝘆: you've been one of the pogues since childhood, and your loyalty has always lied within your friend group, who is practically your family. when a threat by the name of rafe cameron begins to threaten the pogue's plans, they assign you to gain the trust of the dubious kook and keep an eye on what he's up to. however, now it's been six months since your friends set you up to spy on the kook prince himself, but what you didn't anticipate was to fall head over heels for the boy. your relationship had soon become inviolable shortly after your guys' first exchanges, much to your friends' dismay, and you two became practically inseperable. that was, until rafe discovers the truth.

𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴(𝘀): cussing, slight angst (?), topper being annoying, some flirting, possible mentions of drug use

𝗮𝘂𝘁𝗵𝗼𝗿'𝘀 𝗻𝗼𝘁𝗲: thank you guys for all of the love on the first part of this story! genuinely, it means so much to me that you guys enjoyed it. pls bare with me as far as adding some of you who asked about being on my taglist, i've had tumblr for like 11 years now but i've never posted my writings on here before so i'm figuring things out to keep it all organized! it's also likely this will become a series, bc there's so much more to tell w this story. let me know if you'd like to be added! anyways, thank y'all again. mwah

-𝘀𝗶𝘅 𝗺𝗼𝗻𝘁𝗵𝘀 𝗲𝗮𝗿𝗹𝗶𝗲𝗿-

The plan was finally set in stone. After many weeks of scheming and devising up a strategy with the help of Pope's unparalleled intellect, and JJ's bizarre inebriated ideas, you and your friends eventually came to an agreement. You had one month to gain the trust of none other than Rafe Cameron, Kook prince and vain asshole. You knew ahead of time that the task itself was not going to be an easy one, especially after Sarah had warned you of how untrusting her brother was with everyone, besides his dad. What made it even harder was that Rafe already knew that you were a Pogue, his number one enemy in the world. But despite his wariness and bitterness towards your kind, at the end of the day, Rafe was no stronger than any other man when it come to his desires and urges.

Sure you were a Pogue from the Cut, but you still knew how to clean up exceptionally well, and regardless of how much he loathed people like you, Rafe couldn't resist you when you'd show up at the golf course he frequented, dressed up in your short pink tennis skirt and a white polo collar crop top. You knew that the fastest way to the Kook prince's heart was through cajolery and the use of magnetism, so when JJ scored you a job as a bev cart girl at his work in order to be in direct contact with the Cameron's son, you transformed your appearance to that of a temptress.

You had been employed at the golf course for about a week before you had a proper interaction with Rafe. Before that, you were mostly being occupied by his best friend, Topper Thornton, who made it his mission to chat you up during your every shift that he was there for. It was a minor displeasure to have to endure Topper's desperate attempts at flirting with you, but you reminded yourself that you were there for one reason - Rafe.

"Y/n! Hey!" You heard a familiar, grating voice call out to you, stopping you in your tracks immediately. Topper.

"Hey Top," you masked your irritation through a forced smile as you quietly sighed to yourself, mentally preparing for the exchange you were about to have, "what's up?"

Topper flashed you a small, genial smile in return at the sound of your soft-spoken voice, "Was hoping I'd see you hear today, the other bev cart girl kind of sucks." He joked in his typical monotonous tone, shaking his head as he let out a half-hearted chuckle.

Behind him you heard a deep, dry laugh approach the conversation, catching you off guard at the sudden noise. Your eyes shot over to the direction at which the sound was coming from, and once you discovered just exactly who it came from, your heart skipped a beat.

"What a simp," the smoky voice of the dirty blond Kook teased as he nudged Topper's arm, "flirting with the damn bev cart girl."

You could feel heat rise to your, now, flushed cheeks at the low-pitched tone that sent vibrations down your spine. You found yourself peering up coyly at the tall stature in front of you, soon being met with a piercing set of blue eyes that locked with yours. His stare felt rather domineering as he eyed your half-exposed figure, which only made you feel more vulnerable than before. As if that wasn't enough, your breath hitched when you noticed the way he bit down on his lip subtly while his eyes found their way to your mini skirt. The feeling of Rafe watching you so intently had your body heat rising gradually, an impuissant energy coarsing through your veins as you watched him tower over you.

"I do have a name." You interjected, deriding Rafe's comment that felt as though he was reducing you to nothing but a beverage cart attended, which had you rolling your eyes internally at his ignorance. However, in order to refrain yourself from catching an attitude with the boy, and quite frankly because part of you was scared, you pressed your lips together in an attempt to keep what composure you had left in you.

Topper chuckled in regard to your statement, finding it amusing that you had the guts to, somewhat, stand up to Rafe Cameron. Something very few people did, and the ones that did, barely lived to regret it.

"Well excuse me," Rafe tilted his head condescendingly at you, an arrogant smirk forming on his lips, "why don't you tell me your name then? Don't think we've had a chance to meet yet." His words sounded welcoming but his tone told another story. You could tell by his burning stare and snarky timbre that he was trying to get a rise out of you, this was a game to him. But it was his mistake for misjudging the kind of person you were, because you had just enough stamina to give it right back to him.

"Y/n," you stated matter-of-factly, "I've only been here about a week now, but typically I'm the one delivering the drinks to you and your friends. Which seems to be often." You satirize back at him, your voice remaining at the same soft and subtle pitch it's usually at, which only throws Rafe off even more at your remark. You could feel a sense of chagrin radiating from the petulant Kook as he momentarily glared at you, only to be set off even more once Topper erupts in a brief fit of laughter, patting his friend on the back in a teasing manner.

"See, told you she's better than the other girl." Topper bantered at his moody friend, whose glare hadn't left your figure since you spoke last. Part of you felt like withering away the longer Rafe burned holes into you with his scowl, but you remained in place, refusing to let him get the best of you.

After another minute of Topper basking in the humor of the situation that had just occurred, he finally walked off back to the rest of his friend group that accompanied him to the golf course, all of course being Kooks. Your confidence seemed to falter following the absence of the preppy teen, now having been left with the irascible Kook who seemed to have inched closer to you since you two had been left alone. You gulped quietly as you broke eye contact with the dirty blond, keeping your eyes glued to the ground as you felt him approach you closer and closer.

"You know I will say, even though you are a Pogue," Rafe lowered his voice, the sultry tonality of it purring in your ear as he brushed your hair aside, "you are pretty nice to look at." His tantalizing words setting off fireworks at the pit of your stomach, feeling as though your knees were going to buckle beneath you.

Then suddenly, an idea popped up in your head. You were there for a reason, and that reason was standing right in front of you, the perfect opportunity right at your feet. Play along with him. You told yourself.

You looked up at him through your eyelashes, an innocent facade casted over your dewy-eyes. Your body language relaxed a bit, shoulders dropping as you attempted to invite him into your company before you spoke, "I don't see you doing anything about it, Cameron." You whispered softly, voice barely audibly to anyone besides you and Rafe. Your comment seemed to have taken him by surprise since his eyes went wide and his eyebrows raised instantly, but you could see a glimpse of amusement in his azure irides. A sense of victory washed over you as you realized Rafe was slowly, but surely, falling into your trap.

"Trust me," Rafe hummed to himself, looking your physique up and down once more, "I've thought about it."

You smirked up at him in response, "Why's that?"

"Because for the past week, I've seen you parading around this place like you have no clue in the world how these men look at you. So naive to the way they all gawk at you. I can't tell if it's just you playing dumb, or that you genuinely have never been told. But if that's the case, I'll gladly be the one to show you." Rafe whispered fondly in your ear, his body so close to yours that the smell of his cologne clouded your airways and put you in a daze.

"What would you show me?" You asked naively, acting as though you were blissfully unaware of the way that those putrid old, rich men gaped at you as you strolled around on your golf cart, hoping they could get a better view up your skirt as the wind blew while you drove by. Truth be told, their goggling made you feel queasy and uncomfortable, but you had a promise and a plan to stick to for your friends' sake, even if it was at the expense of your amenity.

"I'd take you out of that hell-hole of a place you Pogues reside at. Show you what it's like to be a Kook for once. With your looks, I think you'd fit in just nice. A Kook princess." Rafe's eyes began to darken with a strong urge to covet you to accept his offer, except little did he know, it was exactly what you wanted to hear from him.

"So prove it to me."

∘₊✧──────✧₊∘

"No fucking way." Kiara expressed in disbelief at the recount of your interaction with Rafe Cameron earlier that day. Proud was an understatement to describe the feeling your friends' had towards you once you had told them just how the boy immediately fell for your tricks. In all honesty, the Pogues, yourself included, assumed it would take a bit of time to weasle your way into Rafe's interest, but in reality all it took was a short tennis skirt and flashing your doe eyes at him. It was almost comical how fast the leery Kook fell for it and you.

"So now what? Where do we go from here?" You asked, walking over to the dilapidated couch where your best friend, JJ, sat with a joint in his hands. As usual, you found your seat right in JJ's wide-open lap as you gently snatched the blunt right from his fingers and putting it in-between your gloss covered lips. The blond frowned at the theft of his beloved joint, but his sorrows were soon erased as he watched you inhale, becoming entranced in your movements, unbeknownst to you.

"Just keep things going with him," Sarah added, "keep him interested. Rafe's usually the type to use girls and disregard them afterwards, so you've got to keep him on his toes."

You sighed in response, taking in the magnitude of how difficult the plan your friends' conspired may be. "Alright, sounds easy enough." You replied sardonically.

"He's not going to be an easy one to crack, but we've got to do this. If this doesn't work, we'll all be fucked." Pope chimed in with his typical state of panic and distress.

"It'll be fine, Pope. Y/n has got this." Kiara reassured, flashing you a small supportive smile as if she could sense your own self-doubt radiating off of you.

"Well I'm going to bed, it's been a long day," John B announced as he stood up from the armrest of the couch, "good job with everything you did today, y/n. Knew you could do it." He smiled as he approached you, giving you an encouraging high-five before ruffling up your hair some. Behind the brunette came Sarah, who followed him back to his bedroom once she said her goodnight's to everyone in the living room.

"I think we're gonna head out, too. Pope has been stressing me out about this damn plan all day and my head hurts." Kiara commented shortly after Sarah and John B exited the room, "I'll see you guys tomorrow." She gave a soft smile before dragging Pope to the spare bedroom of the chateau with her. With the new absence of your coupled-up friends, you found yourself sitting in a comfortable silence with your blond best friend, JJ. You sat slouched horizontally across his lap, feeling his warm fingertips trace gentle lines across your exposed thighs.

"Y/n?" JJ muttered, his blue eyes somewhat hazy from the high he was experiencing.

"Hmm?" You hummed tiredly as you turned your head to face him.

"You're not like, actually gonna date him.. Are you?" The boy asked with all sincerity in his voice, which made your heart flutter.

"Of course not, that'd be crazy." You laughed, shrugging off JJ's evident concern.

"Okay good. Yeah I just, I don't know, that dude is crazy. A girl like you shouldn't be caught up with someone like that." JJ stated, scratching the back of his head as the feeling of awkwardness crept up on him while he approached the new topic.

"What do you mean by that?" You raised your eyebrow at him in confusion, lost by what point he was trying to get at.

"Well you.. You're you, and Rafe, he's just insane. Dude gets in fights every other week, I mean he's definitely got to be on something. No sober, right-minded person acts like he does and he just-"

"What about me?" You interrupted the blond's endless tangent, which could have went on for hours if you let him keep talking.

"Oh. Well you know, you're important to me and I just don't want you getting hurt by him. He's not a good guy, y/n. And if he ever did something to you I'd kick that son of a bitch right in his-"

"JJ," you stopped him, laughing at his blethering, "that's not going to happen, I promise you. So don't worry about it." You assured him, shaking your head lightheartedly.

"Just sayin'." JJ added as he shrugged, his back beginning to sink further into the couch as his body grew more relaxed. You found comfort in that moment with your dearest friend, watching his chest rise and fall gradually as he breathed. You felt yourself growing more and more drowsy as the mixture of silence and a comatose state washed over you. Ignoring the fact that you were still sat in JJ's lap and not having the energy to care to move off of it, you allowed yourself to rest gently against JJ's chest, his warm skin heating you up like a blanket. He accepted your gesture and gave you room to snuggle up into him, nuzzling your face into his neck gently. Before sleep could fully take over, you felt JJ shift a bit as he leaned over to grab the nearest blanket next to him, throwing it over the two of you just before shutting his eyes and dozing off to sleep himself.

It was safe to say you felt a great sense of accomplishment at what you had managed to achieve that day, with Rafe seeming to so easily give in to his desire and invite you into his life without much question. However, it was just the beginning and you still had an entire month to gain his trust and keep it. It all seemed so easy, but anything involving Rafe Cameron was bound to be complicated.

But nobody could have anticipated what was to come.

𝘁𝗮𝗴𝗹𝗶𝘀𝘁: @bibliophilewednesday , @sublimepenguinpeach-blog

#rafe cameron #rafe cameron x reader #obx #drew starkey #rafe imagine #rafe cameron x pogue!reader #outer banks #rafe cameron fanfiction #rafe outer banks #the pogues #rafe angst #obx3 #obx4 #rafe cameron smut #rafe cameron fic #fanfic #starkey #jj maybank

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sourbinnie · 11 months

Text

☆ beso.mp3 ☆

♡ genre ¿? ♡ -> fluff ♡ pair ¿? ♡ -> ot8!skz x gn!reader ♡ plot ¿? ♡ -> voicemails they leave you when they miss you on tour. ♡ warnings ¿? ♡ -> cursing ; no use of (y/n) ♡ request ¿? ♡ -> nope

a/n: short one but sweet one, hope yall like it:) haven't written "voicemails" in a while!

yo quiero que me de' otro beso

"baby, baby i miss you so fucking much. i might be a little drunk and a little needy as a treat but i can't help but think of you and i need you here. it's been too fucking long since i've last seen you even if we speak to each other every day, i can't get enough of you. i need to hold you and kiss you, feel you against me whatever way you want it to be of course. i don't know why i suddenly got the need to just be buried in your arms and for you to hold me tight, hope i can see you soon and tell you that i love you because i can't take it anymore. goodnight darling..."

- voicemail from hyunjin.

uno de esos que tú me da'

"i need your kiss. i know it's abrupt to start a voice message like this but i've been wanting to kiss you ever since i left and i gave you the last one at the airport. i hope i get all of the kisses i deserve when i come back and that you're taking care of our children. i hope you know that i miss you so much and that even if i don't show it at times, i've been so clingy for your affection. i can't wait to cuddle you again, to hug you and not let you. like i said before, save all those kisses for me because i'm coming for them all when i get back and you will not get rid of me."

- voicemail from minho.

estar lejos de ti e' el infierno

"i'm not used to being this far away from you. maybe i'm not the most affectionate person or the one that says the most romantic things but i feel the need to show you that i still love you. i want you forever and ever, no turning back now because i knew when i found you that i would want what you make me feel for the rest of my life. right now it's hell being away and not having your embrace, your eyes looking at me or your sweet kiss on my cheek. i want to hear you say that you're proud of me after every show. i just need to hear you again or i'll go insane."

- voicemail from seungmin.

'tar cerca de ti es mi paz

"it's been stressful and i feel it even more now that we're far. i remember when i had to go to australia and i wanted to take you so bad, it's the same today. i want you here and for you to experience what i live for, what i'm passionate about and what i need. but i also need you, need your love and affection because it's the one thing that keeps me calm. when i'm burying myself in work and drowning, you're there to take my hand and i think i haven't been appreciative enough of it. so thank you, i love you to the moon and back baby."

- voicemail from chan.

y es que amo siempre que llegas

"how long till we see each other again? i want you. i wanna be with you right now yet we're so far, i don't wanna forget you so i keep reminding myself of your habits. your smile follows me everywhere i go and it shines so bright, your eyes are the only ones i look for in the crowd. i wish you could come by one day, i wanna see you there supporting me and having the time of your life with your friends. you would look so cute in our merch and with our lightstick that i'm almost getting you tickets to the next show. we'll see what i can do baby."

- voicemail from felix.

y odio cuando te vas

"i had a dream, well it was more like me remembering how we said goodbye. i fucking hated it and i don't wanna live that ever again, next time you're coming with me to every part of the world that i'll take you. i want you right beside me, i want to see you and just be captivated by your beauty because that happens every time i take a look at you. you can call me cheesy all you want but i'm so in love with you and i know we haven't talked about it but i need to buy a ring soon. spoiling the surprise? yeah but i don't care, i hope you say yes though."

- voicemail from changbin.

yo me voy contigo a matar

"i might be too young for love like a lot of people say. i might be a little too naive or too persistent but when i approached you for the first time, i knew i would do anything for you. even right now when we're in a relationship, i feel the need to please you, to love you, to show you that you're worth it because you are so much more than what you show. i didn't see a future where i would be loved but right now i can see us everywhere and i think that's the thing i miss about you the most. i'll do anything to have you here so i'll try my best to get you something, alright?"

- voicemail from jeongin.

no me dejes solo, ¿pa' dónde vas, pa' dónde vas?

"i haven't been alone in such a long time. i'm used to having your presence by my side 24/7 and now it's weird not seeing you beside me. i know i have everyone from the boys to the crew but i miss my sunshine, you know? i miss the one that keeps me going. yeah i never told you that but you're the reason i wake up every day as happy as i am. even right now the bed feels so cold without you and it's not the same as the one at home, if only i could close the distance. i think i would hug you, kiss you and love you like i haven't done before..."

- voicemail from jisung.

#sourbinnie #skz imagines #skz songfics #skz short imagines #skz drabbles #skz scenarios #skz #stray kids #stray kids x reader #skz x reader #stray kids drabbles #stray kids imagines #skz fluff #skz x you #stray kids fluff #stray kids scenarios

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vivalas-vega · 9 months

Text

sunshine / jake 'hangman' seresin x reader

heyooo !!! the fic I've been teasing for the past few days is finally here ! I don't know that I'm fully happy with it but I've invested a minimum of 25 hours into this and I had to metaphorically put the pen down at some point. I hope you enjoy, as always please please please let me know what you think!

sunshine / jake 'hangman' seresin x reader

add yourself to my taglist

feel free to buy me a kofi if you like my work!

based on this request! here is your fic @gryffindormarveltwilight :)

word count: 14k (estimated read time: 60 minutes)

warnings: language, drinking, some suggestive humor, brief rooster x reader/allusions to rooster x reader, navy inaccuracies, terrible descriptions of flying a fighter jet pls forgive me

Sitting in your superiors' stuffy office underneath dim fluorescent lighting the only thing you could think of was that your best friend was right. A point that you didn’t want to admit to anyone, let alone her… but that was also a lie, the biggest thought dominating your headspace was her brother. Jacob Seresin. She’d told you a thousand times over to get ahead of it, that you couldn’t keep this secret forever and to just come clean to him and your family but you’d dug your heels in, insisted this was the right way to go about things, and god did you hate eating your words. She was fucking right.

You were reminded of Thanksgiving two years ago, one of the events in a long list of near-misses where your secret almost came to light.

“Sunshine, your phone keeps ringing, do you want me to get it?” Jake asked from across the couch. You were fully immersed in your novel with your legs stretched out and resting against his, you hadn’t even noticed your phone… or anything else for that matter outside of the world you were holding in your palms.

“Just silence it,” you said as you flipped the page.

“Wait a minute,” he said and the shift in his tone pulled your attention to him. He was staring at your phone screen in shock… or was that confusion? “How the fuck do you know Rooster?” he asked and your blood ran cold.

“What?” you asked and he flipped the screen around to reveal Rooster’s contact photo. You thanked your previous self for cropping yourself out of it because this was going to be hard enough to explain without the addition of you in your khakis. “Oh,” you chuckled, hoping to just brush it off entirely as you sat up. “You know, I kind of forgot he was a pilot, too. I met him a few months ago when I went to San Diego for that convention.”

“And you didn’t think to tell me you happened to meet another naval aviator?”

You shrugged, “I didn’t think you knew him.” You knew he did. “We met in a bar and hit it off, we’ve kept in contact since.”

“Are you like… a thing?” he asked, disgust evident in his tone.

You laughed, “no, you know… it is possible to meet someone in a bar and not immediately jump their bones.” you said, trying to deflect this conversation in its entirety.

“Nope, you’re not flipping this around on me.” Damn it. “I find it awfully suspicious this is the first I’m hearing of Rooster… by accident no less.”

You sighed, “fine, you caught me. I’m secretly a naval aviator too and Rooster was my wingman on a mission in Eastern Europe,” you said, and you didn’t try to sound innocent or sarcastic, just the right amount of indifference for him to not believe you.

He chuckled, “yeah of course you are, and I’m not an aviator, I’m actually a fucking astronaut.” He added an eye roll for dramatic effect. “At least make your lies believable, sunshine, you know you’d never even make it to basic because I’d have killed you before then.”

You let out a laugh but there was no humor in it, “you’re right… me being in the Navy is definitely far fetched.”

“Top Gun, sir?” you questioned, trying to focus your thoughts on the present and he nodded… not even fully looking at you as he sorted through paperwork on his desk.

“Despite your insistence on keeping your achievements quiet, you’ve caught the attention of a lot of people. Mission is need to know, and apparently I don’t make the cut,” there was a bitter taste on his tongue as he spoke the words. “All I know is the best of the best from every aviation squad are headed west.”

“Yes, sir. When do I leave?”

“You’re on a plane in six hours. Go home, pack, get your affairs in order. You report for duty at 08:00 tomorrow.” Six hours.

“They think I’m a research assistant to a fucking archeologist, Sadie! I mean, how stupid could I possibly be!” Your voice was shrill as you shouted in the general vicinity of your phone perched atop your dresser as you threw things into a duffel bag. You weren’t even concerned with what you were packing, you were more concerned with the fact that the single thread holding your intricate web of lies together was unraveling right in front of you. “You were right the other day when you said he already knows, he just… doesn’t know it’s me. I’ve heard of the infamous Hangman, there’s no way he hasn’t heard of Viper.”

“Just take a deep breath, I mean… I won’t say I told you so, even though I totally told you so.” Good thing she won’t gloat. “What’s the worst that can happen? He’ll be shocked, he might yell at you, he might rat you out to our parents but, maybe that’s for the best.”

“Maybe it’s for the best that everyone finds out I’ve been lying to them about what I do for a living for eight years?” you nearly shrieked as you rooted through your drawers for your one good swimsuit.

“Wouldn’t it be nice to stop taking online archeology courses on the off chance people ask you for specifics? Which… no one ever has because you picked a boring fake job to have, or wouldn’t it be nice to actually be able to tell your parents about your job, your achievements? Did I tell you that Jake actually mentioned Viper to me? Said something about some elusive hotshot pilot very few people have ever actually seen but their exploits have been heard everywhere.”

“Sadie, I called you because you’re supposed to be helping,” you groaned.

“Am I not?” she asked, genuinely sounding innocent and you just glared at the phone… and though she couldn’t see it, she definitely felt it all the way back home in Texas. “You know, you never actually told me how you got Viper as a call sign-”

“You know what, I have to go.” you said abruptly, cutting her off.

“What are you-” you didn’t bother listening to the rest of the sentence as you hung up and quickly dialed a number you hadn’t in months.

“Hey sunshine,” Jake’s voice rang throughout your room and normally the pet name bestowed on you from a very young age, meant to be ironic considering you’ve never had a sunny disposition, would have been comforting but now it just made you feel sick. “What are you up to?”

“Hey you,” you breathed out. “I just got off the phone with Sadie and I figured I’d give my favorite Seresin a call,” you joked and his laughter on the other end did nothing to ease your nausea.

“I’ll be sure to tell her you said so. Where are you calling from this time?” he asked and you thought there might be a winch in your chest, each sound from his end of the phone cranking it tighter and tighter.

“Uh, I’m actually stateside for a bit… lab work,” you lied. “What about you, jetsetter? Where’s the Navy got you now?” You were fishing.

“Also stateside, at least for now. Your timing is actually impeccable, I’m packing for a last-minute detachment and you were always better at that than me.” He was referencing all the times you’d wander up into his room just minutes before leaving for one of your shared family vacations, finding him standing in front of his closet with a blank look on his face and an empty suitcase on the bed, leaving you to do it all for him.

You chuckled nervously, “after all this time you still can’t pack a bag without my input?”

“Well, you’ve never forced me to figure it out for myself and the times I’ve had to go without I ended up with all the wrong things.”

“I’m pretty sure this is weaponized incompetence. Where are you headed?” You already knew the answer, but there was a small flicker of hope burning within you.

“San Diego, all I know is I’ve been recalled to Top Gun.” he answered and you felt your heart drop into your stomach.

“Well,” you started, clearing your throat, “definitely some shorts and t-shirts, maybe a few of those ridiculously tight short-sleeve button-ups you always insist on buying… but none of the bright colored ones, they’re awful.” you said and he laughed. “Throw in those green swim trunks if you plan on heckling any innocent women simply trying to enjoy some sun and surf.”

“Heckling innocent women, how do you know I’m not the one being heckled?”

You laughed, “because I know you, you’ve been a heartbreaker since age ten.”

“I prefer the term rolling stone,” he protested and you laughed again.

“I’m sure you do Mr. Rock n Roll but that is not the perception. Your mother worries.”

“Did she call you again?” he asked, voice going up an octave.

“Oh yes, she asked me if we crossed paths in Bosnia… because, of course we would have while I was in Bahrain, said I needed to talk some sense into you.”

“When were you in Bahrain?” he asked and you internally groaned. You’d said too much. But then again, as you looked at the clock it didn’t really matter how much you said. You could say hey Jake, by the way… I’ve been in the Navy all this time, I’ll see you soon! and it wouldn’t make a damn difference.

“Uh, you know… just a few months ago.”

“Huh, I almost went there a few months ago,” he said and you could hear the contemplation in his tone.

“Small world,” you said breathlessly. “Shoot, urgent text from the lab… I’ve gotta head in, call me when you get settled in San Diego?”

“I will, when this deployment is over I was actually going to try and get some leave… come visit you if you’re still stateside, if that’s alright?”

“Of course it is, I’ll talk to you later.” You fell backwards onto your bed with a huff as you disconnected the call, “son of a bitch.”

The red neon sign above the Hard Deck used to be a comforting image, a port in the storm, light illuminating a pathway towards a night of blowing off steam but right now it felt more like the flicker was mocking you, laughing as you prepared to walk through those doors and undo years of lying and manipulating those closest to you. You knew he’d be there. You were. There was nowhere else for aviators to go when arriving in town. Well… nowhere else aviators would go.

“Oh dear god,” you mumbled to yourself, keeping your head low as you waited for your beer. You saw Phoenix strutting across the bar with Fanboy and Payback in tow and the voice that rang out from the pool table made your blood run cold. Of course he was already here.

“What do we have here? If it ain’t Phoenix,” he said, fixing her with that famous smirk as he stood upright. “And here I thought we were special, Coyote. Turns out, the invite went to anyone.”

“Fellas, this here’s Bagman,” she introduced as you carefully approached, mindful of where you were positioning yourself as you started to slide back into your work persona.

“Hangman,” he corrected.

“Whatever.” she dismissed. “You’re looking at the one of only two naval aviators on active duty with confirmed air-to-air kills.”

“Stop,” he said, and you couldn’t help but chuckle and the faux-display of modesty. Always a showboater.

“Mind you, the other guy was in a museum piece from the Korean war.” she smirked, you’d been deployed with her a few times and you always found her ability to outpace the men refreshing and oh-so-needed in the Navy.

“Cold war,” Coyote corrected.

“Different wars, same century.” Payback said.

“Not this one,” Fanboy added.

“Who are your friends?” Coyote asked, gesturing to the two of them as they introduced themselves. “And I’m assuming this other aviator with a confirmed air-to-air kill will be gracing us with his presence tonight?”

“Her presence,” Phoenix said, narrowing her eyes as she corrected his assumption. “Call sign’s Viper, if you two made the cut then she definitely did.”

“Ah, Viper.” Jake chimed in and you felt your ears burn as you watched him from your spot behind a beam. The way your name fell from his lips in such a condescending way made your eyes narrow. “You know, I’ve heard an awful lot about this Viper but… I’ve never laid eyes on her. Pretty sure she’s just a myth, what do you think, Coyote?” he asked and his friend nodded his head.

“You just can’t stand that the person holding you in a draw is a woman.” Phoenix quipped and you couldn’t help but smile.

“No one’s holding me in anything, darlin’, but I can’t say I’m not excited to finally meet this elusive pilot… set the record straight on who’s number one.”

“Oh Jakey,” you tutted, finally emerging from your spot behind the beam as you approached the table and you ignored the way he was physically caught off guard, quickly standing from his perch on the pool table. “I wouldn’t hold your breath because it sure as shit ain’t you.” You looked him up and down once for good measure. “Bagman, and Hyena, was it? Names Viper, pleasure to meet you.” You held your hand out for Coyote with a smirk rivaling Jake’s. For all the fear you had about your secret coming to light you knew you had to come in strong, if you showed up with your tail between your legs like your old teenage self, scared of Hangman’s wrath you’d never get out from under it during training.

“So, you’re not a myth,” Coyote responded, shaking your hand but you weren’t looking at him… you were looking at Jake who’s eyes seemed like they were about to bug out of his head as they scanned you, clad in a matching khaki uniform.

“No, but she is a legend,” Fanboy piped in and you chuckled at the reinforcements.

“Hey V, knew you’d turn up sooner or later,” she said as she pulled you in for a quick hug and you reached out to squeeze both Payback and Fanboy’s shoulders in greeting. “And who’s this?” Phoenix asked, not picking up on the tension rising between you and Jake as her eyes glanced at the man sitting in standard-issue glasses to your left.

“Who’s who?” Coyote asked, not noticing he was there at all. She looked directly at him as he brushed peanuts off his lap. “When did you get in?”

“Oh, I- I’ve been here the whole time.” he answered with a cute smile on his face and you couldn’t help but chuckle at his earnestness.

“Man’s a stealth pilot,” Jake finally chipped in, seemingly recovering from your shocking arrival but his eyes still held a lot of questions you knew you’d be hearing later.

“Literally.” Coyote added.

“Weapons Systems Officer, actually,” the man corrected.

“With no sense of humor,” Jake sighed and you narrowed your eyes at him as he passed the pool cue to Phoenix before he made his way to the bar and you took the opportunity to slip away and follow him.

“Penny, my dear,” he started, leaning against the bartop. “I’ll have four more on the old timer.” he said, eyes darting to Maverick and you knew he’d regret saying that later. Everyone else might have been alarmingly slow at connecting the dots but you knew his presence here wasn’t a coincidence. As far as you knew he was supposed to be in Arizona acting as a test pilot.

“Unprepared for an ambush?” you asked and he sighed, you watched as his bicep flexed when he gripped the edge of the bar.

“You could say that,” he replied dryly.

“Doesn’t sound like the Hangman I’ve heard of… always so prepared for everything,” you shot back and he turned to look at you, expression steeled.

“Well, deception sounds exactly like the Viper I’ve heard of.” You couldn’t be surprised, verbal volleyball with him was always your forte and this time he had genuine cause to be upset. “What the hell are you doing here?” There it was.

“Recalled, same as you.” you answered, as if it was really that simple.

“In the Navy,” he clarified. “You didn’t think to mention this when we were on the phone four hours ago? Or better yet, when you joined?”

“Thought this would be better face to face.”

“What, were you calling just to get information from me?”

“I like being prepared, wanted to know what I was walking into.” you replied, keeping your features calm as you looked up at him.

“And you couldn’t have prepared me for seeing my little sister’s best friend in front of all my colleagues?”

“Your colleagues? Thought I was a little more than that,” you responded, focusing your attention forward and subtly nodding to Maverick who was sitting across the bar in lieu of a proper greeting. “You’re a professional, Hangman, I think you handled it well.”

“Like how well you’ve handled lying to your entire family? How was that dig in Bahrain, by the way?”

“Needed to come up with something to account for all the traveling and lack of contact,” you answered, cutting through to the question beneath the question.

“And where do they think you’re off to now?” he asked as Penny set the beers in front of you. “You know, just in case I need to cover your ass.”

“Croatia. Called them before I called you and Sadie.”

“Sadie knows?” he asked, shaking his head in disbelief. “Why the hell did you keep this from everyone?”

“Are you forgetting the chaos that ensued when you told everyone your plans after high school?” you asked. “Besides, I did tell you in no uncertain terms, you just turned it into a joke.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Thanksgiving a few years ago? When Rooster called?” you prompted and you watched his face fall.

“Oh my god,” he muttered.

“Yeah, I knew you wouldn’t believe me which is why I said it to get you off my back… and what you said about killing me before I even made it to basic just proves my reasoning was right to not tell anyone.”

“Wait, so Rooster really was your wingman on a mission?”

“Several.” you answered.

“I don’t understand, I first heard of Viper six years ago. How have we never crossed paths?”

“I asked to keep my accomplishments on the downlow, they thought it was modesty but really I didn’t want you finding out through a Navy newsletter. Truthfully, I don’t know how we haven’t been on detachments sooner, that was just dumb luck.”

“Dumb luck,” he scoffed, looking you over once more. “God dammit. I am happy to see you,” he finally conceded and you let out a laugh.

“Really? I’m not convinced,” you replied as he pulled you in for a tight hug.

“Meant what I said too,” he started, picking up two of the beers and nodding for you to grab the others. “I do intend on winning this tie between us.”

You laughed again, “good luck with that, bud.” you shot back as you walked back to the pool table. You were aware of the questioning eyes but you had no intention of filling anyone in at the moment.

“Bradshaw, as I live and breathe,”Jake said, swiping Bob’s pool cue as you gave Rooster a one-arm hug.

“Hangman, you look… good,” Rooster responded, apprehension clear in his voice and you shared a look with Phoenix.

“Well, I am good, Rooster.” he replied, lining up and taking his shot. “I’m very good, in fact, I am too good to be true.” You rolled your eyes as you watched Phoenix give Rooster an exasperated look.

“So,” Payback interjected, “anyone know what this special detachment is all about?”

“No, a mission’s a mission, that don’t confront me.” You watched in amusement as he made his way around the pool table, oozing arrogance. You’d heard the stories of the cocky pilot but seeing it before you, in stark contradiction to the Jake you grew up with, was jarring to say the least. “What I want to know: who’s gonna be team leader? And which one of y’all has what it takes to follow me?”

“Hangman, the only place you’ll lead anyone is an early grave.” Rooster replied and you watched Jake continue his path with an overwhelming urge to smack the smirk off of his face. If you wanted to, you knew you were the only person here who could get away with it.

“Well, anyone who follows you is just gonna run out of fuel.” Jake shot back, “But that’s just you ain’t it, Rooster? You’re snug on that perch waiting for just the right moment… that’s never gonna come.” He finished, stepping closer. “I love this song,” he added before walking away.

“Well, he hasn’t changed.” Phoenix sighed.

“Nope, sure hasn’t.” Rooster agreed and you chuckled.

“If only you knew how untrue that was,” you said, eyebrows raised as you looked after him, a man almost completely unrecognizable to you now. You were almost impressed that he was able to suppress this new side of himself when he went back home just as easily as you did.

“Thought you were in Bahrain,” Rooster commented and you spared him a quick glance.

“Thought you were in Japan,” you replied simply.

“Looks like your intel is outdated,” he said and you finally looked over to him with a smirk.

“Same goes for you.” You nudged his shoulder with yours, “good to see you, Roo.”

“Does anyone here have a normal relationship with one another?” Coyote asked, watching as Rooster disappeared and as you went to steal some of Bob’s peanuts.

“This is like a dysfunctional summer camp reunion, Coyote. When have we all been in the same room at the same time?” Phoenix answered.

“Any thoughts as to how this is going to play out?” Jake asked, sidling up beside you as you ordered another beer and you didn’t even look in his direction as you watched Penny mix a drink for someone.

“Thought it was just a mission… none of the details confront you,” you responded and he didn’t miss the air of mockery in your tone.

“I meant between us,” he clarified and you glanced at him out of the corner of your eye.

“Thought we were just colleagues.”

He shot you an unamused look, “are you really going to be like that?” he asked and you shrugged.

“Matching your energy, Hangman. Have to say, I was hoping the rumors were false.”

“Oh yeah? And what rumors are those, Viper?”

“The rumors that you’re an arrogant asshole. Imagine my surprise to find the Jake I know nowhere in sight.”

“Well, imagine my surprise to find out the girl who used to steal my sweatshirts and whine if I didn’t cut the crust off her sandwiches in the Navy with a reputation of being a calculated bitch.”

“I’m a woman in the Navy, what’s your excuse?” you fired back and he nodded his head appreciatively as if to say touche.

He sighed, “I just mean… we have history, how do you want to go about that?”

“Pretty sure everyone here has some form of history with each other, I don’t see why we need to go about it any particular way.” you shrugged and he narrowed his eyes at you.

“Why do I get the feeling this is going to be a long detachment?”

“Probably because you’re right.”

“I just don’t understand why you can’t be a team player. You’re taking this whole Hangman thing too far,” you snapped from your side of the booth. “I’m sick of doing push ups because of you.”

“Ever considered it’s just because you’re the one that’s failing?” Jake asked with a smirk.

“No, it’s just because you’re a shitty wingman, always have been.”

“Now what is that supposed to mean?”

You laughed dryly, “Christmas? Two years ago? You had one job, be a decent wingman. You can’t do it on the ground and you certainly can’t do it in the air.”

“Hold up. Christmas two years ago? What do you mean?” Phoenix asked, having

overheard your latest round of ripping into Jake as she was walking by and you let out a sigh.

“Bagman and I grew up together,” you finally came clean and you gave her an exasperated look as she did a terrible job at masking her shock.

“Wait, like grew up grew up together? As kids?”

“My best friend is his sister,” you explained as briefly as you could. “Well, that makes a hell of a lot more sense than my theory,” she said and you furrowed

your brows.

“What was your theory?” you and Jake asked at the same time.

“I thought you two had slept together on a deployment,” she shrugged and you blinked in surprise. You looked at Jake and waited for him to respond because you were at a loss for words at the implication.

“Your quickness to assume I’ve slept with every woman I’ve come into contact with is frankly insulting,” he said and you bit back a laugh.

“But not entirely untrue,” you muttered.

“Please tell me you have embarrassing stories about him,” Phoenix pleaded and you let out a full laugh now.

“Oh, I definitely do.”

“That will remain in the vault because unless you’re forgetting, I have stories too.” Jake chimed in and you rolled your eyes.

“Hold on, I’ve been deployed with both of you, and mentioned both of you to each other, how is this the first I’m hearing of this?” she asked and you noticed the way almost everyone was not subtly listening in.

“Our families didn’t have the warmest reaction to him joining the Navy, let alone to be a fighter pilot… so I just kept it to myself when I did. Jake didn’t know until last week,” you answered.

She shot him a weird look, “I always forget you have a real name… makes you too human,” she muttered before slipping away and you chuckled.

“Cat’s outta the bag now,” he said, eyeing you over the rim of his glass as he took a drink and you didn’t miss the way his pupils dilated as Rooster came into his field of vision.

“Buy you a refill?” he asked you and you nodded, allowing him to pull you up and lead you to the bar. “So, you and Hangman have history?” You realized he must have only caught a piece of your previous conversation.

“Mmhm,” you confirmed, “Seems everyone has history with him, including you.” you said as the two of you sat down on the bar stools.

“Nothing beyond the obvious.”

“And what’s the obvious?” you asked and he smirked, sliding a fresh beer towards you.

“I’ll show you mine if you show me yours,” he said and you raised your eyebrows at him before he chuckled. “Thought it’d be good to catch up… haven’t heard from you since our last mission.”

“And whose fault is that?” you shot back, with Rooster it was always about what was unsaid. On the surface you weren’t even sure this would be considered a conversation, too much back and forth with not enough shared in each passing remark.

“You know how it is,” he shrugged and you nodded.

“How was Japan?”

“How was Bahrain?” You stared him down before cracking, a smile spreading across your face as you laughed.

“You know I can’t tell you.”

“You know I can keep a secret. Besides, what are friends for?”

“Oh, are we friends now?” you countered, amusement clear in your tone.

“Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t realize we weren’t.” he shot back.

“Our last communication was you sending me a photo of bird shit on your canopy with a series of emojis that I’m honestly still unsure the meaning of.”

“That’s peak friendship,” he laughed. “What is the story with you and Hangman and why was I not allowed to tell him we knew each other?”

“He’s my best friend’s brother,” you said and realization passed over his features. “He’s a little… protective, and I knew he wouldn’t respond well to me being in the Navy.”

“Ah, well that explains why he looks like he wants to kill me everytime I get close to you,” he said and you looked over your shoulder to find him glaring in your general direction and you let out a laugh.

“That’s just his face when it comes to you.”

“No, pretty sure it’s more than that,” he replied and you raised an eyebrow at him as if to say elaborate. He reached down to grab your stool and yanked you closer, forcing your legs to slide in between his and smirked as he brushed a strand of hair behind your ear while you just looked at him with wide eyes. “I give it five minutes, tops.”

“Five minutes for what?” you asked, coming out a little more breathless than you were hoping for.

“The way he looks at you is far more intense than just being his sister’s best friend… I’m just testing my theory,” he said, voice low with how close the two of you were.

“And what do you think these test results will yield?”

“I think he’s going to stew over there for a moment,” he said leaning closer as he looked over your shoulder and nodded slightly, “just like he’s doing right now… and then when I make any sort of indication of taking this further he’s going to come pull you right out of this chair and drag you off.”

“Hmm,” you hummed, deciding to lean into it if only for the fact that your life was so hectic you had no time for attention like this… even if it was for show, and you let your fingers absentmindedly drag along his forearm. “And how are you going to indicate taking this further?” you asked, your eyes almost daring him.

“You’re enjoying this, aren’t you?” he teased, a smirk tugging at the corners of his lips as his fingers trailed along your thigh.

You gave a half-hearted shrug, “contrary to popular belief, I’m not immune to a little flirting… real or not.”

He frowned slightly, “I know you’re not immune or are you purposefully forgetting our first mission?”

“I’m not sure I know what you’re talking about,” you replied and now it was your turn to smirk. You saw something in his expression shift, like he was accepting the challenge you’d just given him.

“Do I need to remind you?” he asked, inching closer and your breath hitched when his hand rested on your neck. “Because I remember it quite vividly,” he whispered in your ear and you couldn’t help the shiver that raced up your spine.

“I think it’s coming back to me now,” you said as he pulled back to look at you and he chuckled.

“Incoming.” you furrowed your brows at him as he leaned away but before you could ask him what he meant you felt a strong hand wrap around your arm and yank you upwards and suddenly you found yourself being pulled across the bar and one glance back to Rooster only revealed a smug look that said I told you so. And he did.

“Get off of me!” you yelled as you pushed Jake’s hand off you, crossing your arms over your chest as you glared up at him and squinted your eyes to shield from the sun setting over the beach… now just a handful of yards away in your new location. “What the hell is your problem?”

“I could ask you the same thing.” You just gestured for him to explain. “Rooster? Really?”

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“Please tell me you’re not that dense,” he said and you could see the disappointment in his features but what you couldn’t figure out was why. You just shook your head and threw your arms out in exasperation and he sighed. “Do you really think flirting with Rooster is a good idea?”

You let out an indignant laugh, “you think that was flirting?”

“Okay, I know you’re not that dense.”

“I know this has been difficult for you to wrap your head around but I have friendships on this squad outside of you that have been in existence for years. Whatever you think you saw was me catching up with an old friend.”

He scoffed, “and he just had to have his hands on your neck and thigh while doing so?”

“And so what if he did? I’m failing to see where this is any of your business and why it gave you the right to physically remove me from my conversation.”

“Figured I’d save you from making a mistake because it’s never a good idea to get involved with someone on your squad… especially on a mission as hard as this one.”

“You would know wouldn’t you?” you countered. “Speaking from personal experience?”

“Don’t do that, you always find a way to turn it around on me.”

“Maybe because you’re always the one in the wrong!” you shouted. “I know that me being here is weird for you, and I know it’s been an adjustment having me in the air with you but that does not give you the right to act like you have for the past eight years. I am not your kid sister’s best friend anymore, I am not a teenager that needs you to bail her out when guys get handsy.”

“Well, you’re definitely acting like a teenager who needs me to bail her out before she makes a mistake that could follow her around for the rest of her career.”

“You are the one acting like a teenager right now! In case you haven’t noticed because you’ve been too busy strutting around like you’re god’s fucking gift to us all, I’ve built an incredible career for myself, and I’m pretty damn good at what I do… I have to be, right? Because I landed myself here with you. Or do you think that was just a fluke? The only reason this is new to you is because I diminished myself to hide from you because I knew you couldn’t deal with the fact that I can handle my own shit now.”

“You think lying to everyone is handling your shit? You hid because you were too much of a coward to own up to it.”

You let out a bitter laugh, “I lied to everyone because they worry. Your mother cries every day you’re on deployment. Your sister calls me twice as much. Your dad goes to church twice a week. My parents check their phones every hour waiting to see if yours sent them any kind of update. It’s easier for everyone if they believe my traveling and being out of service range is because I’m safe and sound, digging up old relics. I lied because I knew you would act like this and I lied because giving our families some peace of mind was worth more to me than getting credit for everything I’ve accomplished.”

He was silent for a moment as he processed what you’d said, and he took a step back as silence permeated the outdoor patio. “I don’t think it was just a fluke,” he finally said and you let out a sharp exhale.

“Well, obviously it wasn’t, I’m a much better pilot than you.” you joked and he gave you a deadpan look. “Every time you snap at me in the air, or dismiss me in the training room, or conveniently occupy yourself elsewhere when my previous missions become the center of focus, you're only reinforcing the reasons I kept this from you. I didn’t want to. Of course I wanted to tell you of all people, I just… didn’t want to feel like I used to when we were growing up. Like the little kid you got stuck with.”

He sighed, “well, now I feel like a jackass.”

You shrugged, “well… you kind of are a jackass.”

“You’re not the little kid I got stuck with, sunshine. I just-”

“I get it,” you cut him off. You wanted this conversation to end before it got too deep, and you could tell by the look in his eyes you were about to jump headfirst into a conversation neither of you were ready for. “Come on, buy me a beer to make up for what a jackass you were.”

You were on your third run through of the mission today, probably the dozenth this week and each time something went wrong, or you weren’t fast enough, or nothing went wrong and you were fast enough but you missed the target. Between this and Maverick’s constant reminders of just how impossible this mission was, you were finding it hard to push through the noise and focus on your objectives… something that had never been an issue for you in the past. You’d made a career off of keeping your head down and doing what was expected of you no matter how difficult it was but this? Each time you stepped into the cockpit you couldn’t help but think you were training for your death.

“Talk to me, Bob,” Phoenix said as you flew above the dry terrain. You could feel the clock running out, both on this run through and your mission training in general.

“We are twelve seconds late on target, we gotta move! We gotta move,” Bob replied.

“Copy, try to stay with me,” you said as you increased your speed.

“Wait, who’s that?” Bob asked and you cocked your head slightly, waiting for further information.

“Blue team, you’ve been spotted.” Maverick’s voice rang throughout your headset and you winced.

“Shit, it’s Mav.”

“What the hell is he doing here?” Phoenix asked,

“I’m a bandit on course to intercept, blue team what are you gonna do?”

“He’s twenty miles left, ten o’clock. Seven hundred knots closure.” Bob supplied.

“Your call, what do you want to do?” you asked Phoenix, looking over your shoulder in the direction of her aircraft.

“Continue, we’re close. Stay on target.”

“He’s swinging around to the north,” Bob said as you began to brace yourself.

“Stand by for pop-up.”

“Be ready on that laser, Bob,” Phoenix ordered.

“Copy, I’m on it.”

“Blue team, bandit is still closing,” Maverick reminded you and you felt tension settling in your muscles.

“Popping now,” you communicated as you sharply moved to a steep incline. You gasped for air as the weight crushed you backwards into your seat. “Talk to me, Bob. Where’s Mav?”

“He’s five miles out, he’s coming fast.”

“Target’s in sight,” Phoenix said.

“Where’s my laser, Bob?” you asked, already feeling the panic creep in.

“Deadeye! Deadeye! It’s no good. Sorry, I can’t get a lock.”

“We’re out of time, I’m dropping blind,” you said with a slight shake of your head as your thumb hovered over the button as you tried to drop it at the exact right moment. “Fuck, I missed,” you sighed as you began your steep climb out.

“That’s tone,” Maverick said and you could hear the disappointment in his voice.

“Maverick’s got missile lock on us.” Bob groaned.

“Shit, we’re dead,” Phoenix cursed.

“Blue team, that’s a fail.” You let out a sharp exhale as you ripped your mask off in frustration. No matter how hard or how many times you tried you were always so close without ever actually making it. “That’s enough for today.” Maverick said as you leveled out and you navigated to flank him. “Bird strike! Bird strike!” he shouted as you tried to avoid the onslaught of birds but it was no use, you felt your jet become unsteady as one flew directly into your engine.

“Shit, left engine’s on fire. Climbing,” you said as you yanked up on the yoke. “Throttling back, shutting off fuel to left engine. Extinguishing fire,” you narrated as you ran through your mental checklist of everything you needed to do. “Fuck, it’s still spinning. Trying to restart,” you tried to keep your voice and your nerves steady but it was no use, the erratic beeping filling the cockpit was threatening to pull you apart.

“Viper, it’s on fire! Don’t start-” Maverick started but you cut him off.

“Throttling up.” You watched as everything flashed at you and you tried to regain control as you quickly lost altitude. “Extinguishing right engine.” Everything was in failure and you were running out of options.

“Viper, punch out.” Maverick ordered as your jet hurtled towards the hillside in a spiral. “You can’t save it. Eject, eject!”

“Fuck, ejecting! Ejecting!” you shouted as you pulled the handles between your feet and the last thing you remembered was watching your plane burn in.

You awoke in a panic, gripping the sheets as a distant beeping accelerated your heart rate and as if on autopilot your hands grabbed for the controls but there was nothing but fabric. “Hey, hey you’re okay,” you heard and you let out a sharp exhale as you saw Jake sitting beside you, leaned forward in his chair with concern written all over his face.

“I don’t- what the hell happened?”

“Bird strike. Thank god you punched out in time but you lost consciousness on the way down. Doc said you’re fine, they’re coming to discharge you soon,” he explained and you nodded as you began to calm down.

“Jesus,” you whispered before another wave of panic rolled over you. “Mav? Phoenix and Bob?” you asked, realizing you’d been so wrapped up in your own cockpit you didn’t even know if the voices coming through your headset were for you or if they were struggling with their own aircrafts.

“They’re good, Mav stopped by earlier to check in and everyone has been blowing up the group chat asking for updates,” he chuckled as he rested a hand on your leg.

“Just another thing to tack onto the long list of failures with this mission,” you sighed, running a hand through your hair.

He frowned at you, “hey, no one faults you for this. You can’t control bird strikes,” he reassured. “Everyone is just glad you got out.” His thumb was rubbing reassuring circles against your thigh and you took a deep breath as you tried to shake off the way he was looking at you. It was concern and… something else you couldn’t place.

“Jake, I don’t… I don’t think everyone’s going to come back from this,” you whispered, it was a universal truth, everyone had thought it at one point or another, Maverick had basically said it without being explicit, and you knew damn well Cyclone didn’t care about casualties so long as the mission was completed. “We can’t even get through dropping the bombs, we haven’t even accounted for SAM’s or bandits.”

“If anyone can do it, it’s us.” he said, voice firm and you knew it was a defense mechanism. He wouldn’t come out and say it but he shared the same fears you did. “Come on, let’s get you up, everyone wants to see that you’re alive and well for themselves,” he diverted but you knew better. He just didn’t want to get into it with you because if he did he wasn’t sure he’d be able to flip the switch back. He had to stay focused and so did you.

The drive to the Hard Deck was silent, much like a lot of your time had been with Jake recently and it made you want to rip your hair out. You couldn’t deal with the hot and cold, one minute you felt like nothing had changed when he brought you your coffee exactly how you liked it, or when you were doubled over in laughter by the dart board and the next he was distant, blowing you off entirely and pretending you were no more than a colleague. You knew things wouldn’t be like how they were back home, this was work and the lives of you and your team were on the line. There were more important things to focus on but when you watched him let loose with Coyote after-hours or humor Fanboy while he talked about some nerdy tv show you couldn’t help but think it felt like a knife to the back.

“Easy, I know you’re sore even though you’re pretending you’re not,” he said softly as he helped you climb out of the car and you just gave him a deadpan look.

“I’m not pretending,” you protested and he smirked.

“Sure you’re not,” he agreed, even though he really didn’t.

“There she is!” Fanboy cheered as you walked in and you gave a bashful smile, hiding your face behind your hands to shield yourself from the commotion. “How are you feeling? What’d the doctor say?” he asked as everyone looked at you intently.

Bob elbowed him, “you are under no obligation to share your private medical information,” he said, clear disapproval in his tone at everyone’s nosiness.

You chuckled, “it’s okay, Bob. No concussion, nothing broken, just some light bruising in my ribs. Still cleared to fly so it looks like the competition hasn’t been knocked out yet,” you teased.

“Thank god, I couldn’t stand it if you abandoned me,” Phoenix said with a warm smile as she wrapped an arm around your waist carefully. “Are you allowed to drink?”

“It’s actually been encouraged,” you joked and she nodded before disappearing.

“Glad you’re okay,” Rooster said, giving you a sheepish smile. “Scared the shit out of all of us.”

“I like to keep you on your toes,” you replied. “Since I almost died today and all…” you started and he rolled his eyes.

“Oh, so you’re milking this?”

“Mmhm,” you smirked. “Since I almost died today, think you could go play a little something?” you asked and he shook his head with a chuckle.

“For you, I think that can be arranged.” you watched with a small smile as he did his usual routine of yanking the cord of the jukebox out of the wall before sauntering over to the piano. You loved watching the bar crowd around him, watching your new and old friends sing along and bust out terrible dance moves. It made it a little easier to forget the impending doom you were all facing.

“Did you make that happen?” Phoenix asked, placing a glass of bourbon in your hand.

“Not like I had to try very hard,” you laughed, watching as she nearly ran over to join him.

“You’ve always been so good at that,” Jake said, appearing beside you suddenly and you tore your eyes away from watching the fun for a moment to look up at him.

“What’s that?”

“Bringing people together,” he answered, gazing down at you. “This could have been just another detachment. Forced friendship while we’re stuck with each other before we go back to our normal squads, but nothing about that looks forced to me,” he said, turning back to watch Bob twirling Phoenix around, Payback and Fanboy doing the robot to a song completely unsuited for such a dance, Coyote and Rooster singing at the top of their lungs.

“Thank you,” you said and he pulled his attention back to you, an unasked question on his face. “For staying with me, it was nice having you there when I woke up.”

He shrugged, “no problem, you’re Sadie’s best friend… pretty sure she would have flown out here just to kick my ass if I didn’t.” Your face fell for a moment but you quickly recovered.

“Right, just Sadie’s best friend,” you muttered, polishing off your drink in one swig. Suddenly you felt silly, of course that’s only how he saw you. You were naive to think the ‘friendship’ you’d built over the past two decades was nothing more than the fact that you were in his life because of his sister, because your families had bonded over the daughters who couldn’t stand to be apart for more than twelve hours. The quarterly phone calls and drinking sessions past midnight over the holidays were nothing more than circumstantial.

“Sunshine-” he started but you gave him an empty smile.

“Need a refill,” you said before walking towards the bar and Penny saw you coming, saw the look in your eyes and was quick to pour as soon as you’d set the glass down.

“Gave everyone quite a scare today, you alright?” she asked and you nodded. You knew she wasn’t really asking you about your ejection but you were content to pretend she was.

“All good, comes with the territory,” you chuckled and she gave you a knowing look.

“That one’s on me, consider it your unofficial hazard pay,” she joked and you took a moment to lean against the bar as you collected your thoughts. You couldn’t help but feel stupid to think that even with the rigors of the job and learning curve of being around each other professionally you’d find some sort of groove resembling the one you settled into back home. You wondered what the hell that even was when you were home. He was always the highlight of your holidays, someone who understood you even though he didn’t know it. You looked forward to sneaking into his room when everyone had gone to sleep with a bottle to talk shit about your families and you shook your head as you sat in the embarrassment of thinking he could have looked forward to that too.

“Sunshine, I didn’t mean-” he started as he approached you and you just shook your head.

“It’s fine, I get it.” you said, focusing your attention on Rooster who was still fiddling with the keys while everyone went back to their groups and listened to it as background noise. “Training is almost over and when the mission is done we can go back to our squads and you can forget about the little kid who’s been following you around for twenty years.”

“I don’t think you’re a little kid, I really didn’t mean anything by-”

“Jake.” you cut him off, turning to look up at him. “Really, it’s fine. With any luck after this we won’t see each other until Christmas so… maybe it’s better if we just focus on our own shit. We have enough to worry about.” You walked across the bar and slid onto the bench with Rooster who gave you a questioning look.

“Everything okay?” he asked and you nodded, taking a swig of your drink.

“What do you say to a little Great Balls of Fire?” you asked, resting your head on his shoulder for a moment and with just a few of the opening chords he’d pulled everyone right back in just like he always did.

“It’s been an honor flying with you,” Maverick started as you all stood at attention. “Each one of you represents the best of the best. This is a very specific mission, my choice is a reflection of that and nothing more.”

“Choose your two foxtrot teams,” Cyclone said and the tension in the room was palpable.

“Payback and Fanboy, Phoenix and Bob.” You smiled softly, that’s exactly who you would have picked.

“And your wingman,” Cyclone added and you felt the anxiety settle in the pit of your stomach. It was between you, Rooster, and Jake… You knew there was a complicated history between Maverick and Rooster, and despite your instability with Jake you didn’t want to be pitted against him.

“Viper.” he called out and the first person you looked at was Rooster who was doing a great job at masking his feelings and he shot you a tight smile. You glanced forward to find Jake looking at you and he gave you a slight nod. You thought getting picked for this mission would feel better than this, but you only felt sick.

“The rest of you will stand by on the carrier for any reserve role that’s required. Dismissed,” Warlock said and your limbs were slow to catch up with your brain as you began to move for the exit to head back to your bunk. You’d been training for weeks yet you felt entirely unprepared. Maverick stepping in as team leader restored a bit of your confidence but even with him leading you knew the odds of actually pulling this off and everyone making it back were slim. Part of you was relieved it was you and not Jake, or Rooster. Rooster still had a legacy to fulfill, and Jake simply wasn’t finished. He had a lot left to learn, and a lot left to accomplish.

“Hey,” Rooster called after you, jogging to catch up and you stopped in front of your door, looking around at the crowded hallway and you subtly nodded for him to follow you. “Congratulations.” he said as you closed the door behind you.

“I’m sorry,” you started but he shook his head.

“You have nothing to be sorry for. You earned this, I know better than anyone how good you are in the air. Mav made the right call… I’m only sorry you aren’t team leader, we all thought you would be.”

“If it makes you feel any better you would have been my wingman if I was,” you offered and he chuckled.

“Not Hangman?”

You sighed, “I trust Jake implicitly on the ground, but… I can’t in the air, and he hasn’t had the best reaction to seeing me in this environment. You on the other hand I know I can trust in the air. You’ve saved my ass several times,” you said with a soft smile.

“Only as often as you’ve saved mine,” he replied. “I think you need to look at Hangman’s attitude towards you through a different lens.”

“What do you mean?” you asked as you slightly tilted your head in confusion.

“It’s not that he sees you as his little sister’s best friend, or the kid he can’t seem to escape… it’s the fact that he doesn’t see you that way, and now he’s forced to face it every day.”

“If he doesn’t see me that way, then what way does he see me?” you asked, struggling to put the dots together and he just smiled.

“I can’t do all the work for you.” he said, pulling you in for a hug. “I’ve missed having you around, V.”

“I’ve missed having you around too, Roo. Let’s be actual friends when this is all over… which means no more sending me photos of bird shit on your canopy,” you said with a laugh.

“I told you, that’s peak friendship!” he said and you pulled away when your door creaked open.

“Sorry, am I interrupting?” Jake asked as he poked his head in, clearly uncomfortable and you and Rooster both shook your heads.

“No, I was just leaving… I’ll see you before, yeah?” Rooster asked and you nodded, giving his arm a squeeze as he walked past. “Hey, don’t think, just do, right?” he said before leaving and you nodded.

“Don’t think, just do.”

“Sure you two aren’t a thing?” Jake asked as he walked in, glancing behind him to make sure he was gone and you chuckled.

“Scout’s honor,” you replied.

“I just wanted to come congratulate you,” he said and you let out another soft laugh.

“Seems everyone wanted to do that,” you said. “Thank you, I’m sorry you weren’t picked.”

“Don’t be, you were right. You’re the better pilot,” he said and there wasn’t an ounce of dishonesty in his tone. “I need you to have a clear head while you’re up there, but… can we talk when this is all over? I handled this completely wrong and I don’t want to forget about the girl that’s been in my corner for twenty years when we go back to our old squads.” you smiled at the way he rephrased what you’d said earlier.

You nodded, “I’d like that.”

He moved towards the door but turned back to say, “I know Sadie’s your best friend, but just so you know… you’re mine,” before he left and you let out a sharp exhale and flopped onto your bunk as the door shut behind him. You put your hands over your eyes as you let what both Rooster and Jake said sink in and it left you with far more questions than you had when you entered this dorm… so much for having a clear head. You heard the door push open and let out a groan, sitting up to see who was coming to mess with your head now but quickly turned sheepish.

“Jesus, hello to you too,” Phoenix muttered as she walked in and set something on her bunk. “Saw both your boyfriends leave,” she said with a smirk and you rolled your eyes before laying back down.

“They’re not my boyfriends.” you protested and she just laughed.

“Sure they aren’t. How are you feeling?”

“How are you feeling?” you shot back as she sat next to you.

“Terrified, but we’re as ready as we’re going to be.” You sat up and turned to face her fully.

“I’m really glad you’re flying with me, Phe. How badass are we? Not one but two women selected for the uber secret, uber dangerous mission?” you asked and she let out a laugh.

“Super badass, now we just gotta make sure we come home so we can brag about it.”

You stood on the platform with nerves rattling you to your core. You took a deep breath and shook your limbs out as you looked up at your jet. You reached up to press your hand to its exterior and said, “no funny business today, alright? I wanna come home.”

“Sunshine!” you heard from behind you and turned to see Jake jogging towards you. You stood in silence for a moment before he pulled you in for a bone crushing hug. “You give ‘em hell, okay?” You nodded when he pulled away and you watched him walk to his own jet where he’d be sitting as Dagger Spare. You made eye contact with Maverick who gave you a nod that you returned, a silent exchange that solidified you were in this together.

“Dagger One, up and ready on catapult one.” Maverick said in your ear and you exhaled forcefully, willing any reservations to leave your body with your breath.

“Dagger Spare standing by.”

“Dagger Four, up and ready.”

“Dagger Three, up and ready.”

“Dagger Two, up and ready,” you said as you focused your mind and pushed out anything but the mission. You weren’t going to think about what Rooster had said, or about what Jake wanted to talk to you about when this was all over, and especially not what you were hoping he wanted to talk to you about. Blocking out the noise was what you were good at, and one of the reasons you were selected. Get in, get out, go home. That’s all you had to do.

You launched off the catapult and fell into formation behind Maverick and listened for the command to fall below the radar. The ocean was closer than it had ever been before and somehow it felt so different from your proximity to the ground during training. This was real. This wasn’t a simulation.

“Feet dry in sixty seconds. Comanche, Dagger One. Picture.”

“Comanche, picture clean. Decision is yours.”

“Copy,” Maverick replied and waited for a beat before saying, “Dagger attack.” Not that it was an option before but there was no turning back now. You watched the tomahawks fly over your head as you assumed attack formation and marked your time as you entered the valley and rounded the snowy ridges. “First SAM site overhead.”

“Looks like we’re clear on radar, Mav.” Phoenix said.

“Let’s not take it for granted.” You knew they were there but you chose to ignore the presence of the SAM’s above you. Worrying about them now wouldn’t do you any good, you had plenty of time for that later. Your only concern was staying below where you could trigger them.

“We got two minutes to target,” Bob said and you checked your radar, increasing your speed.

“Stay with me, Payback.” you grunted as you overtook a curve.

“I got you,” he confirmed.

“We’re picking up two bandits. Single group, two contacts.” Comanche informed and you furrowed your brows slightly.

“Comanche, what’s their heading?” Phoenix asked.

“Bullseye 090, 50, tacked southwest.”

“They’re headed away from us, they don’t know we’re here,” you replied.

“The second those tomahawks hit the airbase those bandits are gonna move to defend the target, we have to get there before they do. Increase speed,” Maverick ordered and you nodded to yourself as you did.

“We got you Mav, don’t wait for me,” Phoenix responded. You lagged as you finally saw one of the SAM’s, a visual you were trying really hard to avoid and your breath caught in your throat as some of the noise started to creep in.

“Stay with me, V, don’t think.” Maverick said to you and you nodded to yourself again.

“Just do,” you finished as you pushed forward on the throttle.

“Jesus, Viper,” Payback shouted in your ear and you chuckled.

“Come on, Payback, you with me?” you asked. “Watch your heads,” you warned as you navigated through a bridge.

“Right behind you!” he confirmed after Fanboy let out some expletives that let you know they were still tailing you.

“Phoenix, stand-by for pop-up strike.”

“Dagger Three in position,” she replied. You heard their grunts through the headset as they fought against the gravity trying to pull them backwards.

“Get me eyes on that target, Bob!”

“Dagger Three, standby, Mav… Standby… I’ve got it!”

“Target acquired, bombs away.” Mav said and you felt your body stiffen as you waited for confirmation.

“We’ve got impact. Check, direct hit! Direct hit!” Bob yelled and you felt a wave of relief that disappeared as quickly as it had washed over you.

“Dagger Two, status.”

“Almost there, Mav, almost there,” you replied as you flew over the ridge.

“Fanboy, where’s my laser?” you asked as you grew closer to the target.

“V, there’s something wrong with this laser… Shit! Dead eye, dead eye, dead eye!” Fanboy shouted and you cursed under your breath.

“Come on, we are running out of time. Get it online!” you yelled back.

“I’m trying!”

“Come on, Fanboy!” you heard Payback say and you were running a risk analysis in your head.

“Nearly there, nearly there!”

“There’s no time, I’m dropping blind.” you said, voice calm and steady as you focused on the target.

“Viper, I’ve got this!” Fanboy tried and you wanted to reassure him but you couldn’t.

“Pull up. Bombs away, bombs away!” you said as you pressed your button before pulling up.

“Bullseye, bullseye, bullseye!” you heard command say but you couldn’t focus on anything as you tried to get oxygen to your brain, the force was compressing your lungs and you could feel the edges of your vision darken as you let out breathless pants.

“We’re not out of this yet,” Maverick grunted. “Here it comes.” you listened as they communicated, trying to evade the SAM’s. “Viper, status.” You wanted to answer but you couldn’t as you flew over the ridge and onto the radar.

“Oh fuck,” you muttered, looking overhead as the missiles launched. “Smoke in the air!”

“SAM on your six, Viper!” Payback warned.

“Deploying countermeasures,” you called as you slammed the button. “Negative contact.”

“Dagger one defending.”

“Talk to me, Bob!”

“Break right, Phoenix, break right! Mav, nine o’clock! Nine o’clock!” It was pure chaos as they exploded overhead.

“Viper, two more on your six!” you heard someone say but you couldn’t tell who.

“Dagger Two, defending,” you said as you hit your flare button.

“Payback, SAM on your nose.”

“Dagger Four defending.”

“Viper, tally, tally, seven o’clock!

“Talk to me, Bob!”

“On our six!”

“Dagger Two defending.”

“Phoenix, break right!”

“I see it, I see it!” Everyone’s voices were overlapping as you tried to look out for yourselves and each other, in all your years in the Navy you’d been in some pretty fucked up situations but this one just felt different. You yelled out to Phoenix and watched as she came close to taking a hit, and you could hear Fanboy’s panicked shouts trying to keep up with what was going on around you. You thought that if you had the time you might throw up, but you didn’t.

“Dagger Two, defending,” you said as you looked over your shoulder to see two on your tail. “Fuck, I’m out of flares!”

“Viper, evade, evade!” Maverick shouted and you whipped your jet around but shook your head.

“I can’t shake ‘em! They’re on me, they’re on me!” You watched Maverick’s jet pass overhead as he deployed his flares but gasped when one hit his tail. Your heart sank as you watched what was left of his jet fall out of the sky and tears pricked at your eyes that you quickly blinked away.

“Maverick!” you yelled, trying to turn in your seat to look for a parachute.

“Dagger One is hit! I repeat, Dagger One is hit! Maverick is down!” Phoenix called out as the wreckage of his plane floated down around you.

“Dagger One status? Status!” you asked with no answer. “Anyone see him? Does anyone see him?”

“I didn’t see a parachute,” Payback replied.

“We have to circle back.”

“Comanche. Bandits inbound. Single group, hot. Recommend dagger flow south. One minute to intercept.” There was a pause before you heard, “All daggers flow to ECP.”

“What about Maverick?” you asked, chest tightening at the thought of leaving him behind. You couldn’t. You wouldn’t.

“Dagger Spare, request permission to launch and fly air cover,” you heard Jake in your ear and you didn’t realize how badly you’d needed to hear the sound of his voice.

“Negative, spare.”

“Dagger, you are not to engage. Repeat, do not engage.” You gripped your controls as you listened to them ask you to acknowledge you heard the order but it all sounded muffled.

“Viper, those bandits are closing,” Phoenix said. “We can’t go back.”

“V, he’s gone. Maverick’s gone,” Bob added and you could hear the sadness in his voice but you weren’t accepting that. You thought of Rooster… of him telling you Maverick had pulled his papers and how despite how angry he was you could see through it to the hurt. He’d lost his father and alienated his only male role model. You thought of him listening in back at the carrier, the regret you knew he would be feeling as he realized Maverick was gone.

“I’m his wingman,” you said firmly. “Daggers flow back to carrier.” you ordered.

“Viper?” “What the fuck are you doing?” Fanboy asked.

“Dagger Two. Return to carrier.” You heard command say but you ignored it.

“Maverick is down which means I’m team leader now, I’m not leaving him behind.”

“Viper, you can’t do anything for him,” Phoenix tried.

“Only if I don’t try. Return to carrier, now.” you ordered again as you flipped around in pursuit of where his jet had fallen. You flicked off your radio and disconnected the overlapping chatter filling your ear. You whizzed back through the canyon and saw Maverick running through the snow covered clearing, trying to evade a helicopter and you used the element of surprise to your advantage… swinging around behind it.

“Dagger Two, deploying missile,” you narrated as you pressed the button but then let out a breathless laugh as you made contact. “Don’t really know who I’m saying that to.” You moved to circle back around and unknowingly triggered a SAM that quickly intercepted you and you cursed as you pulled up on your ejection loops.

You hit the ground with a thud and rolled over onto your back as you let out a groan. “Son of a bitch,” you muttered, “I am so sick of ejecting.” Your muscles ached as you worked on rolling up your parachute and you lifted your head to see Maverick running towards you.

“You alright?” he yelled and you nodded as you stood.

“Yeah, I’m good. You alright?” you asked but were caught off guard when he sent you flying backwards into the snow. “Oh, Jesus,” you muttered as you hit the ground, again. “What the fuck?” you yelled as you got up.

“What are you doing here?” he asked as you threw your helmet to the ground.

“What am I doing here?”

“You think I took that missile so you could be down here with me? You should be back on the carrier by now!”

“I saved your life!” you shouted.

“I saved your life, that’s the whole point.” he countered and you narrowed your eyes at him as you dusted the snow off your jacket. “What the hell were you even thinking?”

“I’m your wingman!” you shouted, throwing your arms out in exasperation. “That means something to me beyond the mission. I haven’t lost anyone yet and I don’t intend on losing anyone today.” He stared at you for a moment before letting out a sigh.

“Well, it’s good to see you,” he finally said and you put your hands on your hips as you tried to catch your breath.

“Yeah, good to see you too… so, what’s the plan?” you asked and he just gave you that famous Maverick look that said you probably weren’t going to like it.

“You’ve gotta be shitting me,” you said as you looked at an old plane through your binoculars. “An F-14?”

“I shot down three migs in one of those,” he pointed out and you just gave him an incredulous look.

“We don’t even know if that bag of ass can fly,” you countered.

“Let’s find out!” he said before taking off and your eyes widened.

“Mav!” you whisper-yelled after him. “Okay,” you muttered as you followed suit, stumbling into step with him as you walked out into the open, trying your best to act natural. “There’s a lot of people around.”

“Yeah.”

“There’s more over there.” you said as you looked around as subtly as you could. You knew this mission would be unlike anything you’d ever faced but you really weren’t anticipating being in enemy territory on foot.

“Okay.” he said, looking around. “Let’s start running.”

“Yeah, run.” you agreed, chasing after him into the hangar.

“Once I give you the signal for air, you’re gonna flip this switch until the needle gets to 120. When the engine starts, you gotta pull out the pins and disconnect everything. You understand?”

“Yeah,” you nodded, watching him power it on.

“Once I’m up, stow the ladder,” he yelled as he climbed up and you were quick to fold it away behind him. You gave him a thumbs up as you flipped the switch and watched the dial and when the engine fired on you ran around the jet pulling everything out.

“Ah, shit,” you huffed, struggling slightly as you jumped up onto the wing and climbed into the backseat. “Jesus, this thing is old,” you commented as you looked over everything and tried to make sense of it.

“Canopy?” he asked and you confirmed you were clear.

“Both runways are cratered,” you pointed out. “How are we gonna get this museum piece off the ground?” You looked out the window and furrowed your brows. “Hey Mav, the wings are coming out.”

“Yep.”

“Why are the wings coming out?” you asked but he didn’t answer. “Holy shit, are we really using a taxiway as a runway?” You were absolutely terrified but you’d be lying if you said there wasn’t a small part of you that was absolutely exhilarated.

“Just hang on,” he said and you flew backwards in your seat as he took off. “Come on, come on, come on.”

“Mav?” you asked, looking ahead of him at the structure you were barrelling towards. “Holy shit,” you muttered as you closed your eyes and felt the wheels lift off the ground. You looked down and switched your ESAT on, hoping they’d see you and send reinforcements.

“Alright Viper, get us in touch with the boat.”

“Working on it, everything’s out. What should I do?”

“First the radio. Throw the uh… the UHF2 circuit breaker. Try that.”

“Sure, I’m not looking at like three hundred breakers or anything… got anything more specific?”

“I don’t know, that was not my department,” he answered and you nodded.

“Where’s Bob when you need him?” you muttered as you leaned down to fiddle with what you could find and your eyes widened when you looked beneath you. “Mav, tally two, five o’clock low. What do we do?”

“Okay, listen. Just be cool. If they knew who we were, we’d be dead already.”

“That’s comforting… what’s the plan?”

“Just put your mask on. Remember, we’re on the same team.” you watched as they pulled up beside you. “Just wave and smile.” You forced a smile as you watched the other pilot gesture with his hands but it wasn’t anything you were familiar with.

“What is that, what’s he saying?”

“No idea. I have no idea what he’s saying.”

“What about that one?” you asked as they changed gestures. “Any idea?”

“Nope, never seen that one either.” Maverick played dumb as he tapped his helmet and gave a thumbs down. “Shit, his wingman is moving into weapons envelope. Alright, listen up. When I tell you, you grab those rings above your head. That’s the ejection handle.”

“Can we outrun them?” you asked, not exactly keen on the idea of punching out for a third time in as many weeks.

“Not their missiles and guns.”

“Then it’s a dogfight,” you said, and he sighed.

“An F-14 against fifth-gen fighters?”

“It’s not the plane, it’s the pilot. What would you do if I wasn’t here?”

“But you are here,” he said and you could hear the apprehension in his tone. “I don’t intend on losing anyone today,” he repeated your earlier words.

“So don’t. Come on, Mav. Don’t think, just do.” He was silent for a moment and your hands flew to brace yourself as he jolted to the side and laid into one of the other jets.

“Tell me when you see smoke in the air,” he ordered and you twisted in your seat to watch behind you.

“Smoke in the air! Smoke in the air!”

“Hang on!” He dropped a missile and led the other plane directly into it.

“Splash one! Splash one!” you cheered, still trying to find your bearings as the plane jolted around. “Here comes another one!”

“Viper, flares, now now now!” he called and you pressed the button, watching as they intercepted the missile. “Splitting the throttles, coming around,” he said as you grunted and placed a hand on the ceiling. “Give me tone, give me tone.”

“You got him, Mav!”

“Taking the shot,” he said as he deployed and you watched the other plane do an evasion maneuver you’ve seen before. “What the-”

“Holy shit,” you said, watching him practically float past your canopy. “What the fuck was that?”

“Hang on, we’ve gotta get low. The terrain will confuse his targeting system.”

“Here he comes!” you shouted as he was hot on your tail.

“Talk to me, Viper, where is he?”

“He’s still on us,” you managed to get out as you bounced from side to side of the canopy. “We took a hit, we took a hit!”

“Damn it.”

“Come on Mav, do some of that pilot shit!”

“Brace yourself.” You quickly rose in altitude and you struggled to get a breath in as you went careening back into the valley. “I’ve got tone, taking the shot.” he said and you watched the other plane take it out with countermeasures. “Out of missiles, switching to guns.”

“You got him, Mav!” you yelled as the distance lessened.

“It’s not over yet,” he replied. “One last chance.” You watched him use his last round of ammunition to rip into the top of the other jet and you let out a cheer when it crashed into the rocky hillside.

“Yes! Splash two!” you said before you went back to fiddling with the controls, trying to recall anything from initial training back in the day and you exhaled in relief when the system in front of you came to life. “Mav, I got the radio on!”

“Outstanding, get us in touch with the boat.”

“Copy that,” you said just as alarms started ringing. “What the fuck? Where even is he?”

“He’s on our nose,” Maverick said and you really wished you didn’t hear the dread in his tone. “We’re out of ammo. Smoke in the air, Viper, flares!”

“That was way too close,” you said. “We’re out of flares, Mav! Shit, he’s already on us.” you grunted as bullets began hitting your jet. “This is not good!” Maverick did his best to try and evade but it wasn’t any use. “We took another hit!”

“No, no, no. no!”

“We can’t take much more of this!”

“We can’t outrun this guy, we gotta eject.”

“What?” you yelled, panic creeping into your voice.

“We need altitude. Pull the ejection handles the second I tell you to.”

“Mav, wait-” you started but he cut you off.

“Viper, there’s no other way. Eject, eject, eject!” he ordered and you reached above you to pull on the loops but they were stuck. “Viper, pull the handle, eject!”

“It’s not working!” you yelled back, still trying. “Mav!” You were still rising in altitude and you pressed your hands against the canopy as you realized this was it. You weren’t getting out of this. You thought of Jake, how he was going to have to tell Sadie… how it was going to fall on him to tell your parents not only were you in the Navy but that you were dead. You thought about Christmas Eve’s with him in middle school, dancing with him at his senior prom because even though you were a freshman he’d much rather have danced with you, and laughing at his old school photos while he watched you walk around the museum that was his childhood bedroom with a bottle of whiskey in your hand. It’s not that he sees you as his little sister’s best friend, it’s the fact that he doesn’t.

“Oh my god,” you whispered, realization washing over you. I know Sadie’s your best friend, but just so you know… you’re mine.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry,” Maverick said and you flinched when you heard an explosion but exhaled in relief when you realized it wasn’t you. You turned to see what was left of the enemy jet floating down to the water as an F-18 emerged through the smoke. Your eyes were wide as you tried to process what was happening… were you actually dead? Is this what the afterlife is?

“Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen, this is your savior speaking.” Jake started and you let out a breathless laugh as he pulled up beside you. “Please fasten your seatbelts, return your tray tables to their locked and upright positions, and prepare for landing.”

“Jake…” you said, looking over at him in disbelief.

“Hey sunshine,” he replied. “I’ll see you back on deck.” he said before flying ahead of you and you couldn’t help the laughter that bubbled past your lips as the adrenaline worked its way through your system.

“Maverick is downwind. No front landing gear. No tail hook. Pull the cable and raise the barricade,” Maverick communicated as you buzzed the tower and you giggled.

“Cyclone hated that,” you muttered and Maverick chuckled as you circled around and felt a jolt. “For the love of god, please don’t tell me we just lost an engine,” you sighed.

“Alright, I won’t tell you that,” he replied. You grunted as you hit the deck and flew forward in your seat at the impact before coming to a screeching halt. You were both silent for a moment, in disbelief that you actually made it back. “You good?” he finally asked and you nodded.

“Yeah, I’m good,” you answered as the canopy raised and you were met with the cheers of all of the crewmen and your teammates. As your feet hit the ground it actually crossed your mind to drop to your knees and kiss the disgusting tarmac you were so grateful for but you had someone to find. Phoenix threw her arms around you and you reciprocated the hug but you were searching the crowd over her shoulder, muttering half-hearted thanks to the people congratulating you and you pushed everyone away as you started walking.

“Sunshine!” you heard and you turned around and finally saw him. You exhaled sharply as you ran towards him but he held out a hand that stopped you in your tracks. “What the hell were you thinking? I thought you were dead,” he shouted over the commotion and you knew you probably should have been apologizing, or explaining yourself but instead you just smiled as you looked up at him. You could see about a dozen emotions on his face, but the one you were focusing on was the one that had been there all along… you’d just been too slow to realize it. “Why are you smiling? This isn’t funny, you really scared the shit out of me. That was reckless, and it- I… Fuck sunshine, I love you so much, I can’t ever go through thinking you’re dead again. Are you even- shit, are you okay? Let me look-” you knew he wasn’t going to stop on his own so you reached out and grabbed onto his flight suit with a smirk, pulling him into you and pressing your lips to his. He reciprocated immediately and you smiled into the kiss as you wrapped your arms around his shoulders. He lifted you off the ground as the cheers magnified around you.

“About damn time,” Rooster muttered from beside you but you didn’t care.

“I love you too, idiot,” you said when you pulled away and he set you back down but kept his arms firmly around your waist. “Chalked yourself another kill, looks like I’m going to have to even the score.”

“Always so competitive,” he said with a shake of his head before kissing you again and you pulled away when you felt a hand on your shoulder to see Maverick. He was looking at you with so much pride and gratitude that was only mirrored on your own face.

“Thank you for saving my life,” he said and you felt tears prick at your eyes.

“Thank you for saving mine, sir,” you replied and held out your hand for him to shake, but when he took it he only pulled you in for a hug. You watched him start to disappear into the crowd and quickly turned to grab Rooster by the collar and you gave him a look that had his eyes widening in fear. “I didn’t do that for Mav, I did that for you. Go,” you said firmly, shoving him in the direction Maverick had gone.

“You know, you could have just told me. You didn’t have to be an ass about it,” you said, looking up at Jake who rolled his eyes playfully.

“Where’s the fun in that?” he asked as you hit his arm. “I didn’t know… not until I thought it was too late,” he said, voice lowering as he stepped closer and placed a hand on your cheek, brushing his thumb against your cheekbone to wipe away a falling tear.

“I thought I’d realized too late,” you whispered as he pressed his lips to your forehead.

“Now we have all the time in the world… after we get our asses handed to us for deliberately disobeying orders,” he said, pulling away when he noticed Cyclone approaching and you chuckled as you looked over your shoulder.

“Hey, if we get dishonorably discharged at least we’re alive and have each other, right?”

“That’s all we need.”

ONE YEAR LATER

“Cheers to the one year anniversary of Dagger Squad,” Phoenix said as all of your glasses clinked together and you couldn’t wipe the smile from your face as you looked around the room at your team.

“And begrudgingly, cheers to Cyclone who, in his own words, completely disagreed with our tactics and lack of respect for authority, but couldn’t deny the overall effectiveness of our squad,” you added as everyone laughed and you leaned into Jake beside you. “Happy Dagger-versary everyone.”

“Cheers!” everyone shouted as you sank back into your previous conversations and you looked up at Jake as you took a sip of your beer.

“It’s our one year too,” you pointed out and he smirked down at you.

“Don’t you worry, sunshine, I’ve got a whole thing planned,” he said and you smiled as

you rested your head against his chest. “How lucky am I to have had you following me around for the majority of my life?”

You pulled away and playfully hit his arm, “when you say it like that it makes me sound so juvenile!” you protested and he just laughed.

“Hey, those are your words. Besides, you’re the one who followed me into the Navy…”

“And hid from you for eight years!” you said, pretending to be mad but your laughter gave you away.

“It’s okay, you just wanted to follow in the footsteps of the greatest pilot in the world. No one could ever blame you for that.” he teased.

“Are you conveniently forgetting you admitted I was the better pilot?”

“Yeah, but then I saved your life, so…” you narrowed your eyes before leaning up to peck his lips.

“Thanks for that, by the way.”

“Anytime, sunshine… anytime.”

taglist: @callsignspirit @thegodessc @failuretothrivestuff @olliepig @cruelmissdior @underaveragefangirl @grxcieluvr @amatswimming @camilaricci @nolita-fairytale @dempy @pinkpantheris @aviatorobsessed @tiredqueen73 @pono-pura-vida @binnieslove @nik2blog @waklman @abaker74 @halstead-severide-fan @percysaidnever @memeorydotcom @eli2447 @dumb-fawkin-bitch @djs8891 @Genius2050 @stargazer-88 @chloeforde @kmc1989 @casa-boiardi (if your name is struck through it means I couldn't tag you - sorry!)

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pyschedtrickster · 12 days

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TADC Ep 2 - Depression and the Meaning of Life

Well, I may or may not be a day late to release of the episode, but I've watched it three times so far and I have some thoughts. Let's get the gritty stuff outta the way.

First of all, The Amazing Digital Circus belongs to @gooseworx and therefore everything I say here is just my personal take on the episode. I could be wrong, talking out my ass, etc. But this episode really spoke to me, so good job Goose.

Secondly, spoilers <3

Third, I think I've written enough that people won't get jumpscared with spoilers. This is gonna be a long read, so bear with me. This post will contain ALL my thoughts on the episode, both meaningful and just silly things I liked.

BUBBLE

So anyone who knows me from Bunnydoll Burrow knows I love Bubble. They're my favorite so far and this episode only cemented that further. They're wonderful comedic relief and even if they don't have any character development (which I don't think they will), I will always love them.

Caine Cares Too Much

While watching this, I was immediately off-put by Caine's reactions, even beginning with him calling Zooble back. He sounds so... dire? I don't know if that was intended to mean something or if it was just to put emphasis on how much Caine cares about his creations. Caine is AI, so world-building is likely his ONLY goal, or his prompt if you will. It wouldn't surprise me if that was why he was so upset by everyone's reactions.

But I can't help but wonder if this will play into his character arc. We understand that Caine is ambiguous right now and there's no real explanation of what his intentions are in the Circus. Something about this just really set me off. It made me feel unsafe in a way as if staying behind would result in danger of some kind. Obviously, it couldn't be that bad, as Zooble did stay behind and turned out fine. Still, I can't shake the feeling that this is foreshadowing.

Zoobie

Hilarious. What a solid nickname, I've seen so many headcanons that Zooble would be a stoner in the real world. This only makes it better. They are now Zoobie in my mind.

Pomni's Child Comment

While I'm sure this was just a silly comment to be made, I kinda liked it. Just a little in-show reminder that through all of this, Pomni is a real, grown-ass woman stuck inside some digital Hell. The whole first episode, we see her wallowing and panicking, justifiably so. Finally, we get to see her grow more serious and stable.

Through the episode, we see more of her being a good character and becoming more at terms with her situation. I'll touch on this more soon.

Gangle

My girl CANNOT catch a break. Gangle is such a funny character and so, so sweet. She's level-headed in my opinion, even through her emotions. She seems to have a good grip on the shit happening around her but has a hard time communicating properly because she has a lot of feelings going on. Me too, honey, me too.

Even in the face of violence, danger, and overall shitfuckery, she doesn't shut down. Sure, she cries. But I've cried plenty of times while still holding the fort down. I think I just relate to her.

Lastly, I NEED to know what this means like I need oxygen.

Government Mandated Shipping

I dunno man, I just really liked this. I'm a shipper at heart. I've been writing fanfic since middle school. I saw pure fanfic material when I watched this scene.

Kinger and Raggs

This scene made me smile. It's a cute nod towards how Kinger is the longest-standing character and, according to some lost post of Goose's, Ragatha is the second. Plus, all of episodes one and two, we see her trying so hard to be a rock for Pomni. She tries to include everyone, keep everyone cheerful, and be a stable constant in a realm of chaos; Seeing Kinger recognize how far she's come and using that to bring her back to reason was just so refreshing. Ragatha deserves more appreciation like that: less about what she does for others, and more about what she's done for herself.

Jax's Disappointment

So we don't know much about Jax besides how Goose loves him and says he's an asshole who may or may not be irredeemable. When he started talking about violence and getting excited at the thought, I chalked it up to him being an ass. But it struck me just how much this mattered to Jax in this scene. I have questions, man. But I'm about to go on a wild tangent, so hear me out.

Jax is happy when being destructive. He gets immediately upset when things go well. And in the circus, we can assume that there have been a lot of traumatic, wild things that have occurred. I wonder if the chaos, the violence, is a comfort for Jax because of those traumatic experiences. As a person with trauma, I've learned that there's a funny cycle that I and other traumatized people experience.

We don't like the situations we're in, but when faced with normalcy, it's so much scarier than the damaging situation we come from. So, we run from 'normal' back into the suffocating arms of our traumatizing situations for comfort. Going back to the situation means more trauma, more trauma means a harder time finding peace in a safe, normal environment, which means more trauma... you get the picture.

So am I saying a fictional purple bunny is using violence in a digital realm to cope with the very real topic of trauma? Maybe. Yes. Yes, I am. This is how I cope.

Depression, Finding Your Place, and the Bigger Picture

Now you may be saying, "hey! You skipped over some major scenes to talk about silly stuff! What gives?"

Well, as the title of this post suggests, I had some heavier stuff to address in this episode and wanted to compile it all in one section. So that meant skipping over a scene to bunch it in with other ones. I'll break it down.

Depression

Let me begin with the fact that I have been diagnosed with depression for years now. I've been hospitalized for it and I've had family members struggle with it around me. This heavily influenced how I viewed this episode and specifically this scene.

Gummigoo had a perfectly reasonable reaction to seeing the perfect replica of him that is his model. Seeing something like that would shatter your world, and we see that happen to him immediately.

But when Gummigoo talked to Pomni and asked why anything matters, it gave me this really familiar feeling. Thoughts of being nothing, of feeling meaningless, the mere idea of being an obstacle--I've experienced all of these. I'm sure others have. Pomni was right when she said it's normal. Everyone has felt down from time to time.

But what Gummigoo is talking about really hit home with my depression. Thoughts like these, especially when they linger for long, change how you view the world. Everything is tinted blue and desaturated. You feel empty and eventually, so does the world around you. You feel like when the party is over and everyone leaves, you disappear--or you think you should, at least.

"Why are you trying to cheer me up? How does this benefit you at all?"

And it's so, so hard to accept help when feeling like this. Depression is a bitch in the way that it wants you to stay depressed. It feels like everyone around you wants you to feel better because it is a convenience for them. It almost feels transactional if you smile.

But Pomni says it so beautifully; "I guess I just don't want you to feel like you're nothing. I don't want anybody to feel like that."

The way she says it makes me feel like she knows the feeling too, and in reality, she says she does understand in a way how Gummigoo feels. But that? That made it real for me. I don't know why. This whole scene, the entrapment and loneliness despite not actually being alone, just embodied how I've felt for years. What amazing writing.

Finding Your Place

This scene was really the cherry on top of everything I just spoke about. We see that these two understand each other, at least as much as they can. They recognize all of this, it's ridiculous. They're hurtling through space into the unknown, hoping everything works out. They may feel empty, but they're not alone. They've got each other, for better or worse. Maybe they don't know where they belong in this liminal space, but they know where they stand in each other's minds.

And then we get this ending scene. God. Fuck.

I knew that there was obviously something to that dream Pomni had in the beginning, but somehow I didn't expect this to be the conclusion to it. I guess I was too distracted by everything else. So when I got to this shot, I got all warm and teary-eyed.

Pomni finally feels like she's got a pack, a place in this digital circus. When you don't feel mentally alone anymore, there seems to be a weight that's lifted off your shoulders. It doesn't cure the sadness, but at least you know that if you need to be picked up, someone will be there. Depression wants you to be alone, but it just lost that battle. The internet has said it best: A win is a win.

The Bigger Picture

We all know where the end of the road is. How we get there is the mystery. This thought can really make a person feel small, especially when depression comes in to tell you that you in fact are small, according to the chemicals in your brain. But the power of numbers and knowing your place in the world makes facing the unknown a little easier.

I'll be honest, the words are kinda lost on me at this point. Our demise is a really hard topic to broach. I've lost a lot of people, especially some major players in my life (shoutout to the Dead Dads club), and still, I don't understand it all. But the best way I can explain it is through my own experience and how I applied it to this episode.

I had for a long time gone through life trying to prepare and prepare. I played the role of the strong, unaffected individual after being hardened by trauma in childhood. I didn't want to be outwardly emotional, because if I was I would have to admit defeat.

It made me feel weak, especially when my depression would whisper nasty things to me about my self-worth. The bigger picture at that time didn't even exist in my mind. I lived to serve and die. It was no way to live.

Only recently, with time, a couple grippy sock vacays and therapy have I started to form my own, new big picture. At the center of this is my interactions with others. Family, friends, and strangers, all of them are affected by my actions. Even during the days when I feel worthless or alone, I remind myself that even the little things I do have a spiderweb effect. I have worth, more so than serving others or being some obstacle. I can simply walk down the street and perhaps I'll be the person who some kid looks at and hopes to look like when they're older. My existence is so much more than just a give-and-take situation with everyone around me.

It felt like Pomni found her purpose in the circus, and it was more than just playing along until the end. Rather, it was to befriend the people around her who have proved in one way or another way that they care. Abstraction wasn't in vain to them. Lives mattered, and therefore so did Pomni.

In a vast, digital world where chaos looms like a grey cloud, Pomni always mattered. She just had to realize how, and it was much more than being an obstacle or a pawn. And so do we, I think.

#tadc #the amazing digital circus #tadc ragatha #tadc jax #tadc kaufmo #tadc gangle #tadc pomni #tadc fandom #tadc zooble #tadc kinger #tadc bubble #tadc caine #tadc episode 2 #digital circus #tadc ep 2 #episode 2 #new episode #gummigoo #tadc gummigoo

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songbirdseung · 21 days

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from the sidelines / nishimura riki

synopsis: after a failed attempt to chase your dreams to debut as a kpop artist, you left to pursue another career. but what's going to happen when your friend invites you to an award show and you meet your old fling?

pairing: riki x reader

warnings: failed careers, ex flings, lmk if i missed anything

wc: 740

The dreams she once cradled in her heart had shattered like glass, leaving behind slivers of hope that she struggled to hold onto. Her journey to become a K-pop artist had been tumultuous, marked by setbacks and heartbreaks that seemed insurmountable.

The practice room was suffocating, the air thick with tension as Yn struggled to keep up with the demanding choreography. Her limbs felt like lead, refusing to obey the commands of her racing mind.

"You're off-beat again, Yn," the instructor's voice cut through the haze of frustration, his disappointment like a dagger to her heart.

"I'm sorry," Yn muttered, her cheeks burning with embarrassment.

The other trainees exchanged knowing glances, their silent judgment weighing heavily on her shoulders.

As the years passed, Yn found refuge in a new career, one that embraced her passion for storytelling. But the echoes of her abandoned dreams lingered in the corners of her mind, a constant reminder of the roads she dared not tread again.

It was a casual invitation from an old friend that thrust her back into the world she had once yearned to conquer. An award show, she was told, a celebration of talent and perseverance. Reluctantly, she agreed, unaware of the storm that awaited her.

"Come on, Yn, it'll be fun! Just like old times," Sarah pleaded, her eyes wide with excitement.

Yn hesitated, her heart heavy with memories she had long tried to bury. "I don't know, Sarah. I've moved on from all of that."

Sarah's expression softened, understanding flickering in her eyes. "I know, but this could be your chance to see how far you've come. Please, just give it a chance."

With a sigh, Yn relented, the tug of nostalgia pulling her towards a past she had fought so hard to leave behind.

The grandeur of the venue mirrored the grandiosity of the dreams that once consumed her. Surrounded by flashing cameras and swirling whispers, Yn felt like a ghost wandering through memories long buried.

And then, amidst the sea of faces, she saw him. Riki. The boy whose laughter had once danced in harmony with hers, whose touch had ignited a fire within her that she thought would never dim.

Except now, he was no longer the boy she remembered. He stood tall and confident, bathed in the spotlight of his success. As a member of ENHYPEN, he had ascended to heights that Yn could only dream of.

Their eyes met across the crowded room backstage, and for a fleeting moment, time stood still. In his gaze, Yn saw traces of the past, of a love that had once burned bright but had long since turned to ash.

When he approached her, his smile was like a bittersweet melody, stirring memories she had buried deep within her heart.

"Yn," he said, his voice soft yet tinged with a hint of sadness. "It's been a long time."

Yn nodded, unable to tear her gaze away from him. "Yes, it has."

They exchanged pleasantries, the weight of unspoken words hanging heavy between them.

"I never thought I'd see you here," Riki said, his eyes searching hers for answers she couldn't give.

"I never thought I'd come," Yn admitted, her voice barely above a whisper.

As the night wore on, Yn found herself drawn to him, unable to resist the pull of their shared history.

"We were so young back then," Riki said, his voice tinged with nostalgia. "Do you ever think about what could have been?"

Yn hesitated, memories flooding her mind like a torrential downpour. "Sometimes," she admitted, her voice barely audible over the din of the crowd.

In the quiet moments between conversations, Yn saw glimpses of the boy she had loved, the one who had once believed in her when she could not believe in herself.

"I'm proud of you, Yn," Riki said, his words like a balm to her wounded soul.

And as the final notes of the night faded into the darkness, Yn made her peace with the ghosts of her past. For in the heartache and the longing, she had found closure, a silent acknowledgment of the roads they choose and the ones they dare not tread again.

And as she watched him disappear into the night, Yn knew that their story was not meant to be a fairy tale. Instead, it was a chapter in the tapestry of their lives, a fleeting moment captured in the echoes of a dream.

#enhypen #enhypen imagines #enhypen au #engene #enha #enhypen x reader #ni ki #nishimura riki #riki nishimura #riki #enhypen riki

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izvmimi · 8 months

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"don't make fun of me but..." you start, which already puts you at a loss as your friend looks up from her book, then stifles a laugh once she catches your exasperated expression. you trail off, deciding not to say more, then rub your temples, and she pouts.

"keep going," she insists. by now she's closed her book and is taking a few notes in a notebook, legs cross-legged on the bench as she sits beside you. you're out in the park, per her request for you to get at least an hour of sun all day, and the sun really is overhead beating, but the shade does provide you some solace. there are a few children playing on a jungle gym across from where the two of you are facing, but you're not really paying too much mind to them - rather, you're thinking about your roommate and the fact that he's been acting strange.

you sigh.

"i'm not exactly sure what the best way to say it is," you start.

"then say it however you can," she says. she takes a sip of her lemonade and you remember that you have a drink too, a peach tea without boba, and reach for yours to buy yourself some time. the condensation of the plastic cup almost makes it slip out of your hand. a lot of things are slipping between your fingers recently, you think.

"does uh..."

"yeah..."

you swallow hard then go ahead.

"is kento seeing someone?"

you pause and she pauses and then she laughs so loud and recklessly that you want to blame satoru for influencing her. she doubles over cackling and you fume, crossing your arms, but you deserve to be made fun of a bit.

"since when do you care what he does?" she asks. "also don't you live together? just ask him."

you purse your lips.

"if i ask, it has the implication that i'm interested."

"and are you not?" she asks.

the question shouldn't take you off guard, it's the natural course of this type of conversation, but you can feel your cheeks warm.

"if i didn't like him back in high school, why would i like him now?"

she gives you a look and shrugs, and in the look, you recount nearly her entire history with gojo. it's a very loud look and you look away.

"anyway, ken hasn't said anything to me, if that helps." she leans in further as you absorb that information and process why it even bothered you enough to ask. "did you hear anything? do you want to be that person? i can help, you know. i would do an excellent job at selling your good points."

you roll your eyes.

"we didn't meet yesterday so it's not like he doesn't know me. actually, the issue is that our walls are thin. i'm hearing... things."

she blinks.

"what do you mean things?"

your face warms again.

"i've overheard him, a few times... i'm just not sure if he's sexting or what... since it's all of a sudden."

she freezes for a moment, and you're reminded of how cute and innocent-looking she is with doe eyes and round cheeks, but the next thing that comes out of her mouth is far too crass.

"a man is allowing himself a well-deserved nut after a hard day of work and you're being insecure about it?"

"shh! not so loud!!" you hiss, your heart feeling like it will stop as you look around the area to make sure no kids overheard. her eyes twinkle as she leans him.

"if you're so concerned, then take care of him yourself!"

"___!"

"you don't have to be a thing, you can stay friends, but clearly you want to, unless you wouldn't be here pressing your knees together in public and asking me about it."

you blink, dumbfounded, but she's right.

perhaps.

you give it a little more thought on your way home, and when you stumble into him on your way back in the hallway, an unintentional dance to the left and to the right before he stops and allows you to step around him, you try to stop thinking about last night's moans and/or how he'd feel inside you.

#nanami x reader #nanami kento x reader #daydreams: jjk #mimi’s notes

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kekaki-cupcakes · 2 months

Note

Morning! So this week is ace week (I’ve been told. Not sure)

Could I please ask for nico’s cool laidback and flirty older brother coming out to Nico as ace please? 👉🏼👈🏼

And he’s kinda worried Nico will take it the wrong way? Especially since he was like mico’s “gay flirty cool idol” and he fears telling him he’s ace will disappoint Nico?

Thanks and, obviously, no pressure!

Love your content 🫶

Happy ace week!

heya.... long time no see?

So this may have been requested back in October and I've only just written it up now but, oh well, I really like how this has turned out and I've actually finished three one shots in the last few days so maybe I'm on a roll or smthn, idk. And just a reminder [cause everyone seems to be venting thru these fics lol] that I'm always here to chat <3

soggy socks and femur bones--- Nico di Angelo & asexual big brother!reader »»————-　★　————-««

Nico trudged up the stairs and glared at the closed cabin door.

He took a breath, and then slammed it open, kicking off his muddy boots because Will had decided that of course having a picnic in the middle of the forest after a storm was an intelligent plan.

Water formed a puddle by his soggy socks when he wrung out his jacket and wiped his hands on his pants with a huff.

Hazel’s witchcraft candles everyone was silently hoping and pleading to their godly parents weren’t for another curse, burned on the coffin-shaped bookshelves. At least they smelt like vanilla. “Yo, uh… what’s with all the…”

Nico whipped around and eyed you through his wet, stuck-together eyelashes. “Will planned the date this time.”

“…And?” You grinned, sitting forwards and closing the lid of your secret [it wasn’t really a secret at this point] laptop. There was a bag of chocolates on your lap as well. And you were dry.

He raised an eyebrow. “What?”

“How did it go? Did you kiss? Do I have to dig his grave? I mean I will,” you said with a shrug, and then winced. “But I need someone to keep giving me painkillers… It’s not my fault Austin did a shit job at ripping my molars out.”

“He was fine. You just refuse to stop eating salt and vinegar chips,” Nico argued, and glanced at empty packets in the bin by your bed.

You shook your head stubbornly. “No, no my gums are infected cause Au-”

“It was fine!” Nico shrieked, and stomped into the bathroom, slamming the door behind him. He slammed it too far though, and it bounced back open on its hinges. He glared at the heart-shaped mirror someone had written ‘love yourself babes’ on. Three guesses who.

“…So… did you kiss?”

Nico glared at the mirror harder. The long scratches across his face had faded. Now they were just a few shades darker than his olive skin. “Why would I tell you?”

“Uh, cause I’m your gay icon,” you scoffed, and he heard the sound of chocolate wrappers crinkling. “Who else would you talk to about this?”

Nico uncapped the mango-flavored toothpaste [Hazel had discovered artificial flavors and was going to be buried with them] and squeezed some onto his toothbrush. At least half of the bristles had fallen out. Probably because of the fact children of Hades, or Pluto, had sharper than necessary canines. Something to do with vampires.

He shrugged. “Jason.”

“Okay that hurt,” you said. You were quiet for a moment. “And, uh… about the whole…”

He rolled his eyes and brushed his teeth, orange foam dripping down his chin as he spoke. “We kissed. Shut up.”

“… I will definitely be teasing you about that later, remind me too, but that… wasn’t really what I meant,” you said. From what Nico could tell, you sounded nervous. Like, genuinely. That was odd.

Nico narrowed his eyes.

“I just, I kinda wanted to tell you something.”

He spat out the fruit toothpaste and rinsed his mouth out with the black and white retro Addams family mug you had ordered online when you saw it, because ‘what else is pocket money for?’. “…Well?”

You tapped your nails on your laptop, probably chipping the polish your aphrodite friends had done on sleepover night. Nico usually spent that night hiding in Bunker 9 while Leo built his latest bomb. Or a Monster-proof phone. Or both. “You aren’t very good at this, are you?”

“Jason hasn’t got to the emotional conversations bit of teaching me how to be a human yet. We’re still at the how to flirt with Will part. Apparently, I’m not very good at it.” Nico said.

“That I can believe.” You muttered. “Anyway, what I was gonna say is… well it’s actually been ages but I sorta didn’t wanna tell you cause then maybe you wouldn’t feel like you could relate to me as much and I really like it when we eat icecream and cry together.”

Nico frowned. “I haven’t cried in three years.”

“…Okay, that’s a problem.” You said. Your voice cracked.

“You just walk up to me and start sobbing and then I feed you Ben and Jerry’s to shut you up.” Nico said, leaving the bathroom and throwing his drenched clothes over the portable heater in the corner, by the snake’s tank. Dracula was a yellow python that everyone stuck banana stickers to on a daily basis.

You threw your hands up in the air. “See! It’s already happening and I haven’t even told you yet!”

Nico scrunched up his nose and put some of Dracula’s food into the tank. Meaning, a dead rat. “Told me what?”

“That I’m Ace!”

He stared at Dracula.

“Like, like Asexual, you know,” you said quietly, and chuckled. You did sound nervous. “I taught you about that one, didn’t I?”

Nico shrugged. Every sexuality and gender ever discovered. It had been a very long lesson. But he had got to watch Good Omens. And some lesbian Bollywood movies too, with awesome soundtracks. “Yeah.”

You kept tapping your fingers on your laptop.“…You’re not reacting that much.”

“Would you prefer it if I started crying?”

“Yes, actually. How have you not cried in three years? We need to do something about that.” You said, very obviously trying to change the subject.

Nico sat down on the puffy duvet next to you.

“I’m not going to cry…” Nico said, looking away at the posters Hazel had pinned to her wall with throwing knives made of femur bones. He ducked his head. “And… I’m not gonna, like, not want to hang out with you anymore… You’re still, like, my favorite brother, or whatever.”

You whipped around, eyes wide. Your eyeliner was smudged. “Aw!”

“Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!” Nico screeched, and dodged the hug.

You managed to wrestle him into a hug despite his clawing and shrieking, and rolled around with him in the mound of teddies and chocolates. “You love me!”

“I will bite you.”

»»————-　★　————-««

#pjo fandom #pjo #percy jackson #heroes of olympus #percy jackon and the olympians #nico di angelo #nico di angelo/reader #nico di angelo x reader #nico pjo #nico di angelo x sibling reader #nico di angelo x will solace #nicodiangelo #pjo hoo #percyjackson

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kairiscorner · 10 months

Text

ok, but imagine noir falling for a florist.

(reblogs are greatly appreciated, it helps get my content out there! if you guys like what you see, please reblog it too <;:D)

i'd like to imagine noir would have visited your florist shop before, but never really stepped inside. he might've come across it multiple times, walked by it so often he never realized it was right there all along.

the moment he stepped in, he was entranced by how lively and colorful the place looked to him. since noir is probably colorblind or is just generally unaware which colors are which, he's so giddy when stepping inside your florist shop one day when he remembered it was aunt may's birthday.

he'd probably be staring at a bunch of marigolds and he'd inspect them closer and mutter to himself, "really outdid themselves with the purple". he might sneeze a lot around the flowers, but he didn't care, he was too entranced with how pretty the flowers were.

it wasn't until you came up to him, asking him if you could help him, that he was entranced with something, or rather, someone else--you. you weren't a flower, but all noir could be reminded of when he saw you for the first time was that you were a red rose bud, blooming in the shade.

how could he have missed you, such a beauty was hidden from his sight for... so, so long. the first thing he'd tell you when he saw you would probably have been, "...am i dead?" because the only time he'd ever witness someone with such ethereal beauty, in a haven of colors and sweet scents that, even if they tickle him to the point of allergies, he's feeling the happiest he's ever been in his whole damn life so far.

when you ask him if he's okay, he finally snaps out of his daze and, all fumbling and mumbling, he blurts out an, "i'm pretty, and you're really okay."

damn it.

he cringes a little at himself for that first, more than three word introduction. he purses his lips, and sighs to himself, with a small sneeze as he inhales the pollen again. you giggled, and when you giggled... he smiled, he smiled widely. he knew he was being a fool, a complete bumbling fool, right then and there--but you made him a happy, giddy, mushy mess of a bumbling fool.

he introduced himself to you as you helped him pick out a bouquet for aunt may. "you know, i'm really glad someone like you's helping me with this." he told you as he watched you pick all sorts of roses, carnations, and dahlias.

"how come?" you asked, turning to look at him in the eyes. he turned pink when you looked at him with your big, bright eyes--those eyes that any rational man would become a bumbling fool over. "well... i'm sure a pretty, lovely, and patient woman like you gets bouquets from guys that... don't lose themselves over your beauty in front of you." he confessed.

you giggled. "mr. parker, i hate to break it to you, but... i've never once had anyone gift me a bouquet." you admitted, looking down at the colorful array of flowers in front of you. "oh..." noir said as he looked at you, still picking flowers for aunt may's bouquet.

"wait right here." he said as he dashed off around the store. you were a little confused as to where he might've gone, but he was a grown man, and this was a small store, you didn't need to worry. not long after, noir came back with a sloppily made bouquet; the ribbon was the color of your hair, the flowers... they were all the color of your eyes.

"mr. parker..." you began, but noir handed them to you still, his gaze pointed away from you, because he was so incredibly flustered to be even doing this. "i believe that... a pretty, lovely, and patient woman such as you shouldn't have to... go without knowing she's absolutely stunning, perfect, even. you're perfect." he confessed, trying to keep his voice leveled, but his embarrassment got the best of him, and he mumbled the last bit out.

you smiled as you took the bouquet from him, admiring how some loose flowers that clashed with most of what he got you poked out a little. you chuckled as you looked up at the sweet man. "now, i can't really take any of these home, but..." you trailed off as you picked one of the flowers and tucked it behind his ear, getting on the tips of your toes to reach him.

"i'm very grateful for that, mr. parker." you said with a smile, a tinge of red on your cheeks. "no... problem." he said as he was getting redder and redder by the minute.

as you rung him up, noir couldn't stop staring and smiling at you. you smiled back at him. "hoping your aunt loves the bouquet." you tell him. "and i'm hoping i'll always see you everyday after this." he said with a small chuckle and a blush on his cheeks as he ran his fingers gently over the flower you tucked behind his ear.

#spider noir x reader #spider noir #across the spiderverse #spiderman into the spiderverse #itsv #atsv #spider noir x y/n #atsv x reader #atsv x you #atsv x y/n #spiderman across the spiderverse #atsv imagines #atsv fluff

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male-reader-haven · 1 year

Text

❚█═Bulking Up, Eh?═█❚

Y/N pays his best friend a visit after working abroad for 6 months.

Tags: Bangchan x male reader, wholesome

Warnings: Suggestive content

Suggested by @dimensionaldrifter , thank you for the adorable concept, I absolutely loved writing this! <3

You take a deep breath as you step out from the plane into the familiar atmosphere.

It's good to be home.

You had previously been involved with a hefty internship at a producing company where you were learning skills and being taught under professional and popular producers and just finished the course with flying colors. It didn't seem like a long time while you were working, since you kept yourself busy with projects and taking better care of yourself, but once the plane touched down it all sunk in; six months of hard work finally paid off! You continue walking to pickup your luggage and make your way back to your apartment, eager to unpack and settle in.

Your apartment is just as neat as you left it, which surprises you slightly since you had left a key with Christopher Chan (you called him Chan), your long time friend, so that he could come and check up on things every once in a while. Back when you were in high school together, you being a senior and Chan being a junior, you remember Chan being forgetful and messy, so you feel warm thinking that he put in extra effort to keep it nice and clean for you.

Ah, I forgot to text him that I landed safely...

You pull out your phone and are met with a new text.

Chan: Hey man! Let me know when you get here, we gotta catch up if you're not too jetlagged!

You smile. Chan always checks in with you, even if you are his hyung, and you find it heartwarming how much he cares. You type a response.

Me: Just got to the apartment. Honestly surprised at how nice it is, I half expected it to be a pigsty 😂

Chan: You gotta give me more credit!! I've gotten better since you've last seen me

Me: So should we meet at your place then?

Chan: No! No, its far too messy lol

Me: Lol ok, lets meet at the cafe in an hour then

Chan: KK

You chuckle to yourself and finish unpacking. Sure, you enjoyed your time abroad, but you miss Chan and your hometown more than anything, and you can't wait to catch up.

After waiting only a few minutes at "The Crick" cafe, you notice a figure walk in wearing a black hoodie and joggers and a casual beanie. You immediately recognize him by his curly brown hair and adorable pronounced nose.

"Chan, over here!" You wave your arm to signal him. His eyes light up when he sees you and he rushes over. You practically jump out of your seat and Chan grabs you into a bear hug.

"Wow man, I feel like you've been gone forever!!!!" He is grinning ear to ear.

"Haha, yeah, I missed you too bud." You laugh and hug him back. You both sit down, grinning ear to ear. You genuinely missed this goofball.

"Gosh, you gotta fill me in on what went down. Don't think I didn't notice your gorgeous biceps. You been hitting the gym?" Chan jokingly winks at you. You laugh.

"Yea actually! I've been trying to be healthier mentally and physically, especially since I've been busy at the internship. I'm pretty proud of my progress." As you talk, Chan sits back and takes it all in, still smiling. He looks you up and down. Conscious of his gaze, you find yourself blushing slightly.

"You should be proud. Dude, you're doing it! You're living your dream and doing what you want to do. You lost weight and started taking care of yourself better. I know how much effort and motivation that takes." He leans forward and puts a hand on your forearm. "I am so proud of you, Y/N!"

You are slightly taken aback by the sudden praise and chuckle nervously. He always finds a way to make you flustered, even if you are older than him. His shining excited eyes remind you of a golden retriever.

"Why don't you come over for a few drinks and hang out? I could use the company. Plus, I owe you for keeping my place up." You take a sip of your coffee. "I can show you some of my routine." You wink and flex at him jokingly.

"Haha, of course I'm down." Chan laughs and glances down for a second, avoiding your gaze. You aren't certain, but you think you spot him blushing.

A few hours later and a few drinks in, you both find yourselves laughing heartily and catching up at your apartment and reminiscing on old times and stories.

"Dude, I will NEVER forget when you got into a fight with that Woojin guy, that was intense." You flick Chan's shoulder as he makes his way to a chair, handing you another drink.

"Yeah well, he deserved it. He was being way too rough with Felix. I swear, I knew that guy was a dick from the start." He grimaces and shakes his head at the memory.

"I think it was really cool of you actually, to step up like that. You're protective. It's endearing." You smile, trying to make him smile again. It works, and Chan turns to you with a soft expression.

"I really fucking missed you."

Something about the way he looked you in the eyes with that soft smile and warm expression made your face go red. You can feel his eyes raking over you.

"Y-yeah. Me too." For a moment you just stare at each other, slightly inebriated from the alcohol, but also just because you were drawn to him. Chan coughs, breaking the tension.

"Be right back, gotta take a leak."

"No worries."

You stand up and take your glasses to the sink while Chan gets up to go to the bathroom. Your heart is beating faster than usual and you feel butterflies in your stomach. Something about Chan is just so adorable, and something so obvious is happening that you are just a little bit too afraid to accept.

"Think fast!" Chan bursts out from the bathroom door to throw a roll of toilet paper at you. It bumps off your back and you turn to face him.

"Oh, it's on!" You grab the roll and throw it back at him, engaging in battle. He catches it and attempts to run smuggling it away, but you run up to him and grab him in a bear hug from behind, turning it into a wrestling match. You both laugh and horseplay for a second, you trying to pry the paper roll from Chan who is holding onto it for dear life. You manage to pry it out of his hands and victoriously push him to against your wall.

"Ha! I win." You hover over him, grinning while holding his hands up to the wall. Chan giggles with his squinted eyes and wide grin that make you feel soft inside, and you stand there for a moment.

"Okay, I may have underestimated just how strong you got. I mean look at you." Chan runs his hand across your arm that is pinning him to the wall, feeling your biceps. You aren't sure if its the alcohol kicking in or your imagination, but you could have sworn that your faces were not this close 10 seconds ago. Chan's smile falls into a longer look, tilting his head slightly and eyes on your lips. Before you even realize what is happening, you find yourself in Chan's arms and his lips on yours.

Fireworks.

You bring your hand to his face and kiss him back. You can feel his arms running down your sides and pulling you closer, and you are locked in a passionate embrace. His lips carry the faint taste of the rice wine you were drinking earlier and you can smell his faded cologne. The feeling of his hands feeling your stomach and abs send a rush to your head as you take it all in. Only when he separates to breathe do you open your eyes.

"F-fuck..." You say under your breath, still recovering from what just happened. You look at Chan, whose eyes show passion and a hint of fear.

"Fuck... good?" He cocks his head slightly and smiles awkwardly, awaiting your response.

"I don't know, do you?" You smirk as Chan blushes deeply. He chuckles and looks down, grinning. You lift his chin to make him look back up at you. "Shut up and kiss me, Christopher Bang." He doesn't need to be told twice. He leans in to kiss you again, this time needier. He turns you around and pushes you to the wall this time, trading places, and hastily you both take each other's shirts off. He holds your arms up on the wall and looks you up and down for the nth time that night.

"God you are one sexy motherfucker."

Chan never fails to make you blush.

Send me suggestions on what to write next! ~ <3

--Masterlist--

#christopher bang #bangchan #chan #bang chan x male reader #chan x male reader #stray kids #skz #stray kids x male reader #skz x male reader #stray kids smut #bang chan smut #chan x reader #bang chan x reader

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meimi-haneoka · 8 months

Text

Cardcaptor Sakura Clear Card Chapter 78: Comments + JP-ENG translation differences

Hello hello!! End of the month, just witnessed Harvest Moon high in the sky (the last Supermoon of 2023!), and we're back like clockwork with another chapter of Cardcaptor Sakura Clear Card!! I have to say the release of Clear Card chapters have often coincided with a Supermoon and I find that so funny, as well as fitting....the moon is such a big element in this arc!

And as we have seen in this arc, the moon is also a messenger of love, and there's so much of it in this chapter....feelings, conflicting emotions, but most importantly, talks of happiness. This chapter wrecked me with emotions even more than the previous one, as we finally got the Kaito/Akiho moment of "discussion" that we waited for so long....where the focal point of the entire arc is: how far can we push ourselves to make our loved ones happy? Is it right for us to arbitrarily decide for their happiness? Along the years, I've seen countless of complains for how the events of the story were unfolding, for how some characters did absolutely the hell they wanted and made decisions for others, but as I knew perfectly well, a story is something in constant development and the goal wasn't to show how helpless people are or how it was right for others to act in that way, quite the contrary. And we'll see with full force what that means in this chapter of the climax, which is surprisingly BIG (36 pages long).

I also have to (unfortunately) report a quite annoying translation mistake in the English version that can confuse people and trick them to believe that Sakura remembered about a certain someone. Along with the usual nuances and such.

BUT FIRST!!

Hehe, you know what's coming, right?

Akiho went THIS close to go full Greta Thunberg on a certain someone!!! 😂 Let's find out WHO it is under the cut!!

The Color Page

Our Sakura this month takes the color spread with one of the most beautiful portrayal of our little magician: dressed in a very elegant layered white dress with jewels, head covered by a white veil, immersed by half in a pond, she looks halfway between a bride and a priestess! And yes, I can already hear you screaming "Tsubasa!!1!1!!!!" because she vaguely reminds of little Sakura-hime at the reservoir....😆 But I think what really makes the atmosphere of this color page "magical" is the presence of countless spheres of light, which seem to be emerging from crystal water lilies and converge in a huge sphere, which really looks like the moon....just to go back to the incipit of this blog post, right? 😂 After observing this color page, I couldn't help but being reminded of the spheres of light that were featured in the color pages of chapter 52 and 63 (with respectively, Kaito and SyaoSaku). Back in my post of chapter 63 I had made an analysis about what the common thread between those two color pages could be, and especially the significance of those spheres of light. If they really are representing the feelings of love for your dearest person, then I'd like to think that here Sakura is being represented as a "fairy" fostering and releasing that love in the open, to help and save the people dear to her. Which is totally the image I'm getting not only from this chapter, but ever since we started to see what happened in the "re-written world". Sakura is literally a messenger of love. And I love that for her. ❤️

The editorial text in the JP version is referencing what Sakura told Akiho back in chapter 49, right after her "sister" shared with her the recount of her night walk with Kaito: "To me, you’re someone I want to see happy forever. Because you're my friend, and someone really precious to me"

"Blink To Say Yes"

The chapter starts with me making amends to Kaito for the nth time, asking for his forgiveness for doubting his intentions and emotional state way over what was due: as the dragon keeps flying away, Sakura grabs Akiho's hand and starts going after the creature, of course followed by Syaoran, Kero and Yue. Akiho (poor girl, still with a tear in her eye) notices with shock that the "portal" to the fake moon is completely disintegrating, revealing the real moon behind it. Flying side-by-side to the dragon, Sakura realizes that the creature got finally out of that place to avoid that Akiho would put herself in danger: in fact, with the portal disappearing like that, she might have been trapped inside that space forever! Sooo as usual, Kaito's actions are skillfully framed by CLAMP in a way that will make you misunderstand him and think he's being irrational or getting on everyone's nerves on purpose, but no, he was actually just putting Akiho's safety first, as usual. ❤️ I know there were some interpretations of him precisely doing this, but I thought it wasn't the case because Sakura broke the spell inside the fake moon, removing the pressure and all, so I couldn't see what danger he needed to protect her from: in fact, the looming danger was a different one, and it was well symbolized by those "bzzz" sounds and effects near the entrance when Akiho was getting in. I had noticed them but dismissed them as the instability of Touya's time magic. I should've known better! 😆 Sorry, Kaito. I know that the only one who can make you do anything at all is only Akiho! Therefore I'm still laughing at how Sakura tried to convince him to get out for half an hour, when all Akiho needed was to move an inch forward 😆😆😆 I also think that what she told him, the fact that she was sure to be in front of "her most important person", changed things for Kaito. His reaction was tangible, despite being hidden behind the eyes of a dragon. And therefore I'm still partially peeved and heartbroken at him, because before hearing that from her (and seeing her putting herself in danger), he was fully planning on staying inside that space forever. He was refusing to come out, knowing very well that the portal would've disappeared at any minute, eliminating any chance of saving him. How dare you.

Well. We were saying that Sakura realized the dragon's intentions right away, and we see her shouting, with a face halfway between shocked and fired-up, "This means she's important to you, too!" (good job ENG translation for not messing this up, I guess. I was worried). Damn right, Sakura. She must be so confused by this person dragon's behavior. It is all so crystal clear to her. It's not only in her head, all the signs keep confirming to her that he really does consider Akiho very important, even now, immutably. The time he spent in that cage didn't change anything for him (and that, if anything, makes everything even more heartbreaking because of how agonizing that must have been). Sakura just can't understand why this person is acting like this, since he truly does care about Akiho. Refusing to go back to her. None of the people around her behave in this way and for her it must be something very new to deal with - and this reminds me of what a blessing we had to get these new characters in this arc, so different from what she's used to, who sometimes pushed her beyond her comfort zone, hence expanding her experience and making her grow up.

Akiho seems encouraged by Sakura's firm statement, so she takes the matter in her hands and shouts to the dragon to please have a talk with her. She shuts her eyes tight, as if being desperate for him to listen to her.

And that's it. That's all it takes for Kaito to be ol' good Kaito and stop immediately at Akiho's request, looking intently at her. As if he's saying "I'm at your service". I've said it countless times in my blog posts, how Kaito is someone who really would do whatever he wants and listens to no reason, but when it comes to Akiho, he really cannot deny anything to her. Akiho sighs in relief at seeing him stopping, and she starts talking to him, so tiny in front of such a giant (is he supposed to look scary? To me he really isn't, he's quite cute) creature. Akiho is well aware, from the countless books she's read till now, that the ones who can have conversations with dragons are almost entirely people with marvelous capabilities (the ENG went for "strange powers" for this, I don't think it fits). She's got no magical powers, but she quickly comes up with a clever way of "communicating": blink your eyes to say 'yes', do nothing and stay like that to say 'no'. And so she immediately starts, because she needs to know, she needs to understand. It's her goddam*ed right to do so, and Kaito knows this very well, hence why he's not denying her the opportunity. Akiho fires the first question: "Are you the one who re-wrote the world?" Kaito blinks, admitting it. I can see a streak of sadness in his eyes as he opens them again. This doesn't make any good to Akiho, who looks pretty sad as well, at hearing that. It's like having one fear, and seeing it confirmed. But she goes on, explaining how the world she's living in right now is warm and caring, full of people who support her and dote on her as if she were one of their family. While she states this, we can see Tomoyo following the events from the tablet with a concerned face, and Touya looking more and more worn out by the time magic he's being keeping up, sustained by Ruby Moon and Spinel Sun.

Akiho is very intuitive, so it's easy to guess where the question is leading: "Did you rewrite it because I never had this, before? And for that, were you the one who erased any trace of you from inside of me?" The ENG version here adds a "Did you do it to bring me happiness?" which is not incorrect, of course, but it doesn't exist in the JP text, and as usual it's used to spoon-feed the readers as if they couldn't get there on their own (and to probably fill a bubble with something).

Kaito cannot lie to the burning question, and he blinks his eyes. We see appearing a "crease" next to his eye, a clever way from Mokona to show us that he's growing more and more distressed. The pain of remembering how her clan abused her, how they got there because of something he said, the pain that resulted from the decision he made when he was just a kid. And the next question is even more burning.

"Did I wish for it?"

Kaito does nothing, confirming he now understands that in fact, Akiho never asked for this. Never. And the girl herself confirms: "I don't remember (you), but I know. I would never wish for a happiness that did not include you". Kaito listens intently to her. I just can't imagine how it must feel to not remember a single thing about someone, and yet feeling all that love pouring out of you. Simply out of instincts.

I Want My Most Important Person Back

Then, with a very (very) resolute face, Akiho turns to her dear Sakura, and affirms: (JP) "Sakura-san. I want to bring my most important person back". Here it is again, the famous term that we CCS fans all know well, the code for "the person I love", that keeps being changed in the ENG translation to a less recognizable "favorite person", which I'm still not sure conveys the same meaning. Sakura agrees with a pleased smile, she's totally ready to do anything to give her true happiness back to her "sister". Then, she turns to Dragon Kaito, and here we start with the "parallels" that will enrich this chapter of many many additional emotions.

Yes❤️ it's a parallel with Lilie, from chapter 72. Same expression and all. Precisely from when she was telling her the words that Sakura is going to relay to Kaito now: "What is happiness, to you?".

And here I have to introduce probably the worst mess of a translation mistake of this chapter, that will surely confuse people and make them believe things that actually arent' true:

ENG: "Someone asked me that once, too. In a dream. But, try as I might...I couldn't remember who it was. Not until she crossed time and dreams to see me. I think she did that for this moment. And...I think that's why she left me this card in the end, too"

JP: "These are words I've heard in a dream. I can't really remember who said them, no matter how hard I try, but...that person crossed time and dreams in order to come to see me. It was surely for this moment. And...this last Card remained, too...was for this very moment, right?"

I sincerely have no idea how they could mess up and make Sakura say that she actually remembers about Lilie, after she came to see her. Lilie had been so clear about it, in chapter 72, that the Forbidden Magic would've made Sakura forget as soon as she exited the dream, and so it happened, indeed. Why making her basically say that she remembered, afterwards? This is against the script! Moreover, not happy with messing that up, they even made Sakura say that the last Clear Card remained was left by Lilie herself! That's nonsense, that's not what the JP text says! Momo told her that there were some Clear Cards that were protected by her with a spell and they were waiting for Sakura to call them up, that's HOW the Clear Card that we're going to see now is able to be here. Not because Lilie gave it to Sakura. And before anyone points out "yes, but the one who paid for that spell with her ring was Lilie", I have to remind you that Sakura is not supposed to know that. Momo never told her WHO paid that price. So basically this is a mess-up on all fronts. But let's go back to our story because the emotional moments are just escalating. Before Sakura mentions the Card, we can see for a moment Lilie's reflection in the Dragon's eyes. A clear sign that Kaito understood perfectly who Sakura was talking about! And I think it's so beautiful that Sakura, always listening to her intuition (remember how she wasn't very good at this, before? That she dismissed her intuition, and Syaoran told her that his mother taught him not to?), understands that THIS is the moment to get this question out, because here she basically posed this question to Kaito. And this will help him decide in a few pages.

Proceeding forward, we can finally meet the big absentee ever since Sakura secured it back in chapter 33: the Rewind Card!!! One of the most beloved Cards, obviously for its appearance that was based on Syaoran and its cuteness! This card is the last one that still had to appear and that never showed up in Clockland, a sign that Kaito wasn't able to put his hands on it and "drag it" into the fictional world created with Momo's magic. It's the last Card that was waiting to be called by Sakura. And so she does! Syaoran is quite surprised and provides a "Spiderman meme" moment when he realizes that the Card looks just like him! 😂 Sakura explains to him that Record was able to record this Card as well, so that's how she knew of its existence (and not because Lilie gave it to her, once again!!!).

It's time. Sakura announces to the Dragon that she's going to bring him back to "himself". Our girl does so because she wants to implicitly give him the chance to have a say in this. She doesn't really "ask", but it's like she's implicitly doing it, because she wants to make sure that this is something he wants too.

In fact, in a very emotional moment, he and Akiho exchange again a long stare. It's like a silent conversation is going on between them. The dragon is depicted with a painful expression, while Akiho is staring at him firmly and determined. He's still, to the very end, thinking he does not deserve to go back to his human real form and go back to her. But she's unwavering, and uncompromising. She wants him back, and she's going to have him back. Because, after all, under a pile of self-loathing and pain, this is what he wants too. This is his happiness. So, with a very suffering expression, he blinks his eyes one more time to say "go ahead". In his condition, this must have costed him a lot of effort. You know who they reminded me of, in this scene?

Yeah, them. I've been saying it for long time, agreeing with other friends affirming the same in their own posts, how I could see a clear parallel between Clone SyaoSaku from TRC and YunaAki in Clear Card. They didn't exactly go through the same things, but their experiences often overlapped. And this in particular is overlapping really well. As I wrote already in my Twitter thread, he's given a chance to go back, but he's crushed by guilt. He doesn't think he deserves it. But she stares FIRMLY at him, pulling him towards life, a life with her. And he closes his eyes, and caves in. Because in the end, this is what he wants too. To be with her.

So Sakura proceeds. She says that she doesn't know who the Dragon is, but the pocket watch does. And as said pocket watch levitates in the air from Akiho's hands towards the Rewind Card, Sakura explains that it does know him because it used to "weave time" together with him. And so, combining the Card with the watch, Sakura activates Rewind on Kaito, exactly as I expected!

And the moment is absolutely emotional, as we finally see again after 8 long chapters (and relative months), our dear Kaito's face!!! The way the Rewind Card "works" on him is also quite spectacular, from a visual POV, since the pocket watch seemingly "enters" the dragon and frees Kaito from within. The fact is, we don't see the pocket watch after he changed back, so now I'm wondering: did it stay inside of him???

But, whoops, something didn't quite go alright. The black wings of the dragon stick to Kaito's back. Kero observes him and wonders with Yue if he's been a creature like them this whole time, but fear not, Yue dissolves the doubt right away: he thinks he's a regular human magician (the kanji says 魔術師, magician, while the furigana reads ひと, person), it's just that the spell that was active on him (the "Seal of D", as we know) was probably so damn powerful that even borrowing the pocket watch's power (as said in the JP version) wasn't enough for Rewind to bring him completely back to his appearance. Well, you want my opinion? Those wings look FANTASTIC on him and I absolutely want him to keep them!!! (maybe with a little spell he can conceal them when it's not convenient?) 😂❤️ He looks like a dark angel and it's amazing.

Don't Decide My Happiness On My Behalf

But the real, heartwrenching emotional moment starts here. This is also the moment when I started emitting all kinds of inhuman sounds, so I'm grateful I'm not one of those people doing a live reaction on youtube or something because this would be the end of my reputation on the internet 😂😂😂😂

Akiho and Kaito, finally in his original human form, exchange a long stare, again. His face is showing perfectly how he's absolutely heartbroken at what he realized he caused to her. It's guilt adding over guilt. And as she finally looks at the face of the person her heart knows is the one she loves, she can't stop the tears from forming again in her eyes, while she poses the only REAL question that she probably wanted to ask all along:

"Why?"

And as I always do with pivotal moments, I'm going to continue with the direct translation from the JP text, because the ENG added something ("why did you leave me?", which contributes to convey Akiho's feelings and possibly makes this even more romantic) that wasn't there in the original, and I have to be impartial.

Akiho, JP: "Why did you choose to disappear....from the rewritten world?"

I wanted to put the JP version here also because an important verb is missing from the ENG version: choose. Akiho is questioning Kaito about his choice. Because yes, this wasn't a result of a whim, Kaito chose to disappear from her life. And now he has to answer for that. Akiho's face is twisted in pain, as if she's trying to control the tears that now profusely fall from her eyes, and contain an immesurable grief in realizing that her most beloved person chose to remove himself quite definitively from her life.

His reply, though, proceeded to shatter my heart even further, cause it's exactly what I expected and have been saying this whole time.

Kaito, JP: "Because I thought I wasn't necessary to your happiness"

This is the only line we'll hear from Kaito in this chapter. For the rest of it, he'll listen in silence, giving space to Akiho and trying to elaborate. Besides, I want to point out that for the first time ever, he uses "ore" as a personal pronoun while talking to Akiho, and he's also seemingly dropped the use of keigo, the polite speech that he used with basically everyone before. Signifying that he's finally being honest and open, he's being his true self.

In his reply, there's all the self-loathing and hurt and pain he's been experiencing till now. Not recently, but ever since he was a baby. Remember that this boy grew up completely devoid of love in his life, completely abandoned to himself, exploited for his powers by a congregation of criminals. Kaito is, himself, a victim of abuse too, and I would want the CCS readers to acknowledge that more. Because if we have to wonder how we came to this situation, well, this is how. This is the damage that growing up in that kind of environment can cause to people. And we don't have to go that far because, if we remove the "magic" factor from the Association, we can find environments of that kind even in our daily real life. Growing up in that environment didn't stop Kaito from developing attachment to a person. From developing love for them. But, as he grew up not knowing what his self-worth was, being used as a commodity by other people, he's been convinced this whole time that he was nothing to her. That when he managed to accomplish his goal, he wouldn't need to be there because she didn't need him anymore. And I know, I can hear you, "How is it possible that he didn't notice how Akiho looked at him and how she loved him?" That's precisely because of his mental condition that prevented him from seeing or even believing what he was seeing. Kaito thought that he was born alone, and he'd die alone. That no one would ever be able to love him. That's why. And it's heartbreaking that someone would live their life like that.

With such a condition, Kaito's intentions were good but he went down a twisted path to make them true, completely missing the right way to go about it. Akiho doesn't know anything about this, but the heartwrenching scene that follows is something that's absolutely in her right to say. It is something I anticipated so so much.

Akiho, JP (lit.): "Please don't decide my happiness for me! Even if it's you! Please don't tear up and throw away my most important person!!"

Sadness and anger are mixed with Akiho's tears while she pours out all of her pain. I wanted to feature the literal translation of the JP text because I think the verb used, 破り捨ててしまう, depicts a very heartwrenching scene in my head. It is a verb that it's akin to when you tear up a piece of paper and discard it in the trash.

This is literally what Kaito did with his existence, when he went through with his plan.

So Akiho here is not only scolding him because he dared depriving her life of her most important person (and she doesn't care if it's he himself, he's not allowed to do that), but also BECAUSE HE DISREGARDED HIS OWN LIFE IN DOING SO. He's treated himself as a disposable object. And Akiho can't stand that. She loves him so much, despite not remembering a single thing about him, that she can't stand the thought of him hating himself to that point. I think, the way the ENG translation portrayed it, focuses too much on Akiho scolding Kaito for not having the right to remove himself from her life, and completely misses the other, implied, darker part of her line.

Akiho is understandably wrecked and she would want to scold Kaito more, but as she says herself, she doesn't even know what name to call him with. He erased so much from her that she isn't even allowed the luxury to remember his name. But I think this scene here might actually be a foreshadowing for him to reveal his true name to her later, so I'm waiting in anticipation for this (I've been actually waiting ever since chapter 51!). In the meantime, to break a little the drama with a funny moment, I think she wanted to call him baka, but as she doesn't even know his name, she can't do that! 😂what do you think???

And as I always say, Eriol suddenly opens the communication with Sakura to bring bad news! 😂Kaho is exhausted and can't hold the time stopped much longer (furthermore, it seems even Eriol is participating to keep the spell up), so he informs Sakura of that and she thanks him with a worried face. Syaoran looks up and notices that a hole is appearing in the stopped environment, signifying that the time magic is wearing off. So Sakura turns to Akiho and asks her what she wants to do from now. Notice that "from now" well, cause it's very symbolic: it's as if Sakura is saying "other people chose for you till now, but now you're given the chance to finally decide by yourself". With a painful face, eyes drowned in tears, Akiho ponders for a moment and then says that she's been really, really happy to be part of Sakura's family, but if that's not real, then she wants to go back, no matter how much hardships and pain is awaiting ahead. Please register how difficult it must have been for Akiho to wish that. Because right now, she's got all she wanted, love, a warm family, friends and even her most important person is here with her. But the fact is, this arrangement was created by someone with magic, it's not real, it's not how things naturally came to be. Moreover, no matter how strong her love can be, she still doesn't remember anything about her most important person and all she experienced with him, and that is something that is eating her soul away, because she recognizes that she lost something invaluable. So she's willing to let go of all this comfort to go back to the life she had before, WELL KNOWING (because Kaito confirmed it to her earlier) that in her previous life there will also be a lot of pain awaiting her. Moreover, she adds that if there's anything she'll be able to change, then she wants to do that with her own strength (again, a detail that's missing from the ENG translation). And then, turning to Kaito with a very assertive face: "Together with my most important person".

Kaito at this point can only stare in shock at her. Because I'm sure that he thought that after making her cry and suffer this much, she wouldn't have wanted anything to do with him anymore. But, as Kaito hopefully will have all the time to find out, this girl's feelings are no joke. It's no flimsy crush. This is the type of love that binds you to your soulmate forever, and gives you the strength to forgive them when they make you suffer, if you can recognize that their heart was in the right place. Akiho wants to grasp control of her life, wants to be the one to completely make decisions from now on, but she also wants Kaito with her, not only by her side but also participating to those life decisions. She doesn't want to cut him off.

Sakura, with the sweetest smile ever, tells her (JP)"If you two will be together....everything will surely be alright". And here I have to point out two things in the ENG translation: that single "together" that sounds a bit overcautious, not specifying who's together, when in the JP text it's clear she's referring to those two (because the context comes from the panel right before), and then the choice to translate Sakura's iconic invincible spell with "I'm sure it'll work out". That's not how the English speaking fandom knows Sakura's invincible spell as, and from what I've been told, it's not even how it's been translated previously! So this makes pretty difficult for the English speaking fans to recognize that she's uttering her invincible spell here!

Especially cause, look what a wonderful and touching parallel they have done...

The one you can see above is coming from Volume 5 of the old manga, and it's the very first time Sakura uttered the invincible spell, releasing the Light and Dark Cards from inside herself. This parallel, where you can see that Mokona sensei strived to redraw the spread exactly as she did back then, really gives off a feeling of "coming full circle", especially cause when you put them one beside the other it's so easy to see how much Sakura grew since then. Back then, Sakura told those words to herself to comfort herself in a moment of panic. Now, Sakura is telling these same words to a beloved person in a critical situation, to encourage her that if she'll be with her most important person, everything is going to be alright, no matter what awaits ahead. It also reminded me of the comforting words that Yukito told Sakura back in volume 12 of the old manga, the night before Sakura ran to the bus stop to give Syaoran her teddy bear. Yukito told her that as long as both she and her most important person wished to see one another again, it would be fine. I can kinda sense that Sakura wanted to comfort Akiho in the same way, that as long as she and Kaito stay together, they can overcome anything ahead. And I found that absolutely wonderful.

Unfortunately, the awesome moment full of courage and love is interrupted because Syaoran notices the time magic has given up and the arrows start attacking them again, as expected. We see a very worrisome panel with Eriol crouching to the ground next to a passed out Kaho (poor Kaho!!!!), while he hold his staff and sends a remote protective spell to shield the kids from the oncoming attack.

Without wasting time, Kaito grabs Akiho and holds her tight in a protective embrace, curling his beautiful black wings on her to shield her, while she's still shocked (and with tears in her eyes). I have no shame in admitting that THIS panel turned my screams in ultrasounds and it's become my favorite one of the chapter!! Especially cause here we have that magician who couldn't even bring himself to touch his beloved Akiho's head to comfort her, now finally not hesitating anymore and holding her in a very tight embrace to protect her (still giving all of himself for her, I guess it's just his way to love her). The situation is dire: Syaoran activates his Fuuka Shourai to fight the arrows off, while Kero and Yue shoot their own attacks, because the arrows just keep coming at them non-stop. Kero tells Sakura that they're going to take care of the attacks, and Yue says that she's the only one at this point who can change radically the situation. Then, Syaoran, our brave hero, says that he will absolutely protect what Sakura wants to protect (I didn't like the ENG phrasing, at all!! "Whatever it is that you want to protect" sounds so dismissing towards Akiho and Kaito?? Is it only me having a bias at this point?), so he urges her to focus on what she can do (to change this situation)!! I found this moment very exciting....everyone is placing their hope in Sakura and they're gonna do what they can to protect everyone, Akiho and Kaito included (and Kaito took personally care of protecting Akiho by himself).

Sakura is left wondering what to do. "To turn things back to normal, then I should use Rewind one more time" but she expresses doubt at it being enough to complete the task, so she wonders what else she needs to do, while the final page shows in her hands both the Time Card and the Rewind Card!

Aaaaaaand this is how the chapter ends, we finally reached the bottom oh my gosh!! 😂 This chapter was so long but also so full of emotions, I really wanted to touch all the important topics and parallels that have been portrayed in these 36 pages. I know the post became infinite, but I wouldn't feel right to know that I left something interesting out.

I am so damn proud of my Akiho girl. Her assertive discussion with Kaito, tinted with a touch of anger, was exactly what I wanted and expected from her. Because she's sweet, yes, but also got a strong personality. And once you get her fired-up, she's not going to stop. She's a bulldozer. I mean, haven't you seen what she did in chapter 52/53 and 58 with Kaito?? She's definitely not afraid to confront people thanks to her strong nature. This finally elevates her character development in this arc. I'm also grateful to Sakura and her empathy, once again, because it's so beautiful to witness what she's doing for these people. And she's so wonderful that even her loved ones are helping her in this quest, because they all trust her and recognize that this is a way to make her happy too. I'm absolutely thrilled to have Kaito back, finally. And my heart bled for him when he gave that single answer to Akiho.

Despite seeming like we're almost at the end of the run, there are still some important matters to fix and explain, especially in regard to the magical artifacts, and how things will be once Sakura effectively manages to "go back". Will they remember, first of all? And will the situation be exactly like before? Because then, Akiho will have the artifact inside herself once again and they'll have to do something about that too. Also, Kaito's lifespan was pretty bad by the start of the Alice in Clockland play, so of course one has to wonder what they'll do about that too. I also expect one more YunaAki moment because we haven't really heard Kaito's version of the facts, the origin of his quest to save Akiho and how that turned into a "I'm going to give her a happy life too", which absolutely seems beyond what he would need to do if what moved him was only guilt for what he caused to her. Of course it's not only that. And I also expect to hear his apologies to Akiho, of course! ❤️ But gradually, because he must be a confused, hurting mess right now. Whatever else CLAMP sensei will decide to give us regarding those two, I'll take it as a blessed present. We're slowly but inexorably going towards the finale. I really can't wait to read the next chapter, which is expected by Halloween on October 31st! And as a YunaAki fan I can't avoid remembering that even chapter 48, when Akiho confessed covertly to Kaito, came on the day of Halloween of 2020! Will we get a real, spelled out confession exactly 3 years later???

As usual, I await your comments here or in my inbox, see you at the end of this month!!

#cardcaptor sakura #card captor sakura #clear card arc #ccsakura #ccs spoilers #sakura card captor #chapter 78 #translation differences #yuna d. kaito #akiho shinomoto #sakura kinomoto #syaoran li #yunaaki

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