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yazzydream · 10 months

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Speculating What the 16-Registered Special Grade Curses Are

Geto mentions that there are 16-Registered Special Grade Curses, but we only ever got to see four! In all of Jujutsu Kaisen!! I want to know what they are at least, so here's a few speculations.

First, the ones we know.

Tamamo-no-Mae Incarnate, an Imaginary Vengeful Spirit based off of Tamamo-no-Mae.

Ah, a quick explanation of Imaginary Vengeful Sprits: They're Curses built off the cumulative fear humans share over a specific figure, like a famous yokai or ghost story. Kuchisake-onna is one... But so is Sukuna. Ryomen Sukuna is the "Imaginary Demon" with two faces and four arms, but he was actually a human who existed. So, I guess this means he was changed due to people's fears of him? This kind of makes sense when you consider that the Three Great Families are also decedents of the Three Great Vengeful Spirits. I mean... those are Curses too. Actually, we can probably count all of them as among the 16-Registered Special Grades now that I think about it.

Wow, what a fruitful tangent. Let's get back to it, shall we?

1. The legend of Tamamo-no-Mae is that she was a fox spirit under the guise of a courtesan under Emperor Konoe (who reigned from 1142-1155, Heian period). The same beautiful fox spirit who led to numerous rulers getting seduced into being terrible rulers throughout history. Because of course she was.

2. The Smallpox hag is a Disease Curse. Kenjaku lied about it being a deity, (src: Vol. 20 extra) but I assume it's still a Special Grade since it can use Domain Expansion. Disease Curses are born from the fear of a disease such as the plague. The way Akutami depicts something on it's stomach like it's distended is notable. I did find Sopona, the god of smallpox in the Yoruba religion, which might've been used as a reference point.

3. Kurourushi was a Registered Special Grade from Kenjaku's (I suppose Geto's?) collection of Curse Spirits he released for the Culling Game. A cockroach curse... At this point, I think it's safe to call it a Devil from Chainsaw Man.

I actually suffered through researching cockroaches a little for this list to see if anything caught my eye. It wasn't worth it. lol. There is a neat article about cockroaches in pop culture you can read to your heart's content if you like. Obviously, swarms of cockroaches attacking people are a common enough trope. Honestly, I'm also reminded of the beetles from The Mummy, only more disgusting.

It's definitely totally irrelevant, but Metamorphosis by Franz Kafka, which is listed on that page, is about a man who turned into a giant beetle-like creature (usually thought to be a roach). I only bring it up because Mahito briefly discusses it in the first light novel.

4. An Asian God Curse not from Japan. Maybe Genesha, but more probably Kangetian, the Japanese equivalent. Kangetian has both positive and negative reception in Japan and has some Curse-like descriptions. Whereas Genesha seems like a benevolent figure... But Genesha is the one consistently depicted as pink with four arms... Y'know what, Curses are an amalgamation of human negativity anyway, I shouldn't stress about it.

From the Kangetian wiki article:

the Buddhist Vinayaka was (at least at first) negatively portrayed as the creator of obstacles and the leader of a class of malignant demons who obstructed Buddhist practice called vinayakas [...]

And there's this:

On the other hand, he is considered to be still bound by base passions and desires (kleshas) and thus is sometimes also regarded as a rather volatile, demanding god who is quick to punish those who have offended him.

The ones that are most likely part of the registered Curses.

The Three Great Vengeful Spirits, ancestors of the Three Great Families. There's no way they're actually around anymore, but this is just about being a "registered" Special Grade, so they had to have counted, right?

I'll try to be brief here, because somehow, this post has already ended up three times longer than I'd intended. (*edit: It did not end up brief.)

5. Sugawara no Michizane came from a middle-class family of scholars. He was considered a child prodigy, a genius, and held the second highest rank in the imperial court, right under the emperor. As you can imagine, he was the target of jealousy from other aristocrats. He was falsely accused of trying to abolish the emperor and died two years later in exile. (His greatest rivals were the Fujiwara btw, which is ironic considering what Uro thought Yuta was.)

After he died, everyone thought his enemies would continue to dominate the court. AND YET, a whole lot of them started to up and die from "accidents," illnesses, etc. ALSO, lightning repeatedly struck the imperial court and even more of his enemies died. The imperial city experienced weeks of rainstorms and floods. Anyway, everyone decided they needed to pacify what was clearly Michizane's vengeful spirit, built him a temple, and deified him as Tenjin. (Like "Raijin," god of thunder. Lol.)

6. Taira no Masakado was a samurai who's notable for leading the first recorded rebellion against the imperial court in Kyoto. Masakado worked for a powerful noble in the capital but returned to the east after his father's death. He ended up as a kind of "hero of the people" and declared himself the "new emperor" with half of Japan's land. Which, uh, obviously wouldn't fly with the imperial court. He died two months later in battle and his head was sent to Kyoto and displayed for the people to see.

But there were some strange rumors about that head... Its eyes stayed opened for months... You could hear it grinding its teeth at night... Most bizarrely, legend says the head flew back east to look for its body. Specifically, to the head mound in what would become one of the most expensive pieces of land in Tokyo's financial district.

Anyone who tries taking down the mound is faced with bad luck (including death), so it's well maintained to this day.

7. Emperor Sutoku was a puppet emperor from the age of 3 to 22; under the control of his father. After he was forced to abdicate, failed a rebellion, and forced into exile, he became a monk. Devoting himself to Buddhism, he copied scriptures and asked the court to have them sent to a temple in Kyoto, but the court sent them back claiming they were cursed. (Yeah, I know.)

Sutoku swore to become a yokai to avenge his grudge. After that, he never cut his hair or nails again. By the time he died, he looked like a demon.

Everything from the subsequent fall in fortune of the Imperial court, the rise of the samurai powers, droughts and internal unrests were blamed on his haunting.

(I found this neat series of articles about each of the Three Vengeful Spirits after typing this out, which go into them a little more: Taira no Masakado, Emperor Sutoko, Sugawara no Michizane)

8. Ryomen Sukuna needs no introduction. I will add this quote, though.

Q: It's mentioned that Sukuna was a human who actually existed, but was he a curse user when he was alive? Akutami: You could say he was a curse user, but I think he was closer to a natural disaster.

9. Rika-chan was definitely a Special Grade. And once she was discovered, she had to have been registered as the "Queen of Curses." The question is whether Geto counted her among the 16?

Tangentially, these are my own thoughts, but human Rika... Well, reading her character profile from Volume 0 and seeing her looks-- her long dark hair, the mole on her face-- reminds me of another certain malevolent curse-like girl: The eponymous Tomie from Tomie by Junji Ito. And considering we get an Uzumaki reference later in Volume 0, I don't think it's entirely a coincidence.

That's 9 out of the 16, so actually, we knew more of the Registered Special Curses then I thought. (Speculative though it may be?)

Finally, onto the reason I made this post in the first place.

☆ Because I was one of those children that ate up supernatural mysteries and fairytales, I really liked the legend of Yuki-onna. Something about the imagery... A beautiful woman in the mountain snow leading men to their deaths... Is super poetic. Lol.

☆ Sadako from Ring. She's so ubiquitous by this point, how could there not be an Imaginary Cursed Spirit based off her? The first Ring movie came out in 2001, and before that it was a novel series. Quick summary, this should be familiar to you: Sadako is a ghost who made a cursed video tape. Whoever watches the tape will die in seven days.

Notably, Sadako is a mix of two ghosts, Oiwa and Okiku. There's also Kayako from The Grudge. I can see all of them mixing together into a Special Grade.

☆ Since Mahito mentioned the nine-tailed fox (kyuubi), it would feel remiss not to mention it. Different from Tamamo-no-Mae, this one takes the more animalistic form.

☆ Genuinely terrifying would be an atomic bomb Curse. It would look balding and gaunt... It would have radiation related powers. It would be awful.

☆ I know the Darkness Devil is a thing in Chainsaw, but considering "the dark" is one of the most fundamental fears of the human race, I'm going to say that makes sense.

☆ A "white devil"/gaijin Edo period era Curse that stems from Japan's xenophobia, especially at the time. I imagine a lot of like, Christian imagery with it. Think Eva. Lol.

A few more...

Not even Kuchisake-onna was a Special Grade... It could do Simple Domain though, so it was probably a Grade 1 Curse at least. Here are a few more ideas that could be, at least, Grade 1 in my book.

★ Kisaragi Station is just my love for that urban legend. Hey, if oceans, forests, and volcanoes can become Curses, then so can imaginary train stations! Trains are also the way so much of travel is done in Japan, I legit think this could be a possible Curse. Kisaragi Station originated from a 2ch post in 2004. A woman asks 2ch for advice when the train she usually takes home doesn't stop... until it reaches "Kisaragi Station," anyway. There was a Mob Psycho OVA with a similar idea, where Reigan was basically trapped in a Domain, now that I think of it. Hahaha.

★ Hanako-san of the Toilet was also mentioned by Mahito. And frankly, not just in Japan, but around the world, the bathroom is a place of hauntings. Here's a really great video that talks about the fear of bathrooms in media that I recommend. And here's a post I wrote a few years ago about an episode of Shin-chan that made me apprehensive of dark bathrooms as a child. Lol.

Ideas for Curses from other countries

Like Kangetian, here are a few foreign figures too. I tried to keep in mind they should be of things people felt genuine fear or hatred towards. Obviously, each culture has a great many folklore and urban legends, so I'm only listing famous ones I personally knew of.

Jack the Ripper was a real-life English serial killer, but he's risen up into something of a mythical status. There are so many fictitious takes on him, in the world of Jujutsu Kaisen I'd be shocked if he hadn't become an Imaginary Cursed Spirit.

Baba Yaga, a Slavic cannibalistic witchy figure whose preference was children. Though this story is German, think the witch from "Hansel and Gretel." There were a lot of time periods of famine in that region of the world, so I can see starvation, the desperation to eat something, leading to that widespread grotesque fear.

Bloody Mary, I think of her as American, but there's rumors that she's based off of a European woman. I'm reading the wikipedia article right now, and boy is the ritual a lot more complicated and meaningful than it actually is. Basically, you just say "Bloody Mary, Bloody Mary, Bloody Mary"; repeating her name three times, in front of a bathroom mirror and she appears. Uh, I don't think there was a reason for it. It was just spooky thing to do. Speaking of reasons to be scared of dark bathrooms... I remember trying to call out to Bloody Mary as a child at a friend's house. I cannot for the life of me remember if I chickened out or not. Probably.

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La Llorona, "the Weeping Woman," of Mexican origin. She haunts areas around bodies of water looking for her children, who she drowned in life during a jealous rage when she discovered her husband cheating on her... Another female phantasm. I suppose, women are so often wronged in life, it's easy to imagine them haunting us after death. As a Curse, I can see her springing up mostly due to the guilty feelings of men who have cheated.

Why did I do this to myself? As soon as I started writing up Tamamo-no-Mae I went on a tangent (as you can see) and I spiraled. OTL Whatever, I like myths and lore and it was fun even if this ended up... so much longer than I'd expected.

#jujutsu kaisen #my jjk #jjkdaily #jjk meta #jjk manga #jjk spoilers #let's try to be more bloggy shall we #long post #jfc

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callernumberthree · 2 months

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Hey! What’s up? Thanks for coming around!

Pseudonym’s Annie. I’ve got most of my quick info in my bio, if you ever feel inclined to skim it! I’m Bangladeshi and Muslim. I’m also an aspec bisexual demigirl. I also am very large and contain multitudes.

This is my main blog! I reblog a lot of stuff I find funny, stuff about the moon, about animals and nature but birds and fish in particular, about community and partnership and overcoming prejudice, about love and family and friends, and about identity and orientation and mental health.

I tag all my posts, replies, and reblogs as accurately as I can. If there are any issues with my tags, post contents, or anything else in my blog, please let me know so I can fix it and make it a more comfortable online space!

I love meeting people! If you'd like to, shoot me a message or an ask and you can be sure I'll respond!

Below is the alphabetically organised guide to my current fandoms and my relationship with them, and to my organisational structure for my tags. It's a long post; keep reading at your own risk!

Fandoms!

Artemis Fowl

I can be safely critical of it nowadays since it's geared towards a younger audience but I respect the solid worldbuilding it portrays, especially for a children's book. Good stuff- I'd still recommend it.

Don’t Hug Me I’m Scared

Again, got into it when I was younger and it kind of burrowed its way into my brain where it rotted, forgotten, for ages until the sudden new season. Not necessarily emotionally invested, but the Three Of Them have my whole heart for sure.

Dungeon Meshi

I got into it VERY recently by binging the manga, and now I'm keeping up with the Netflix adaptation! Obsessed with the solid worldbuilding.

Gravity Falls

Top fandom ever everrrrr. Got obsessed with it as a kid and I’ve never let it go since. I know all the sordid fandom history, all the best and most popular headcanons of current day, and some the most based fanartists and fics. I do a lot of recreational multishipping in my dark and evil mind palace.

My Little Pony

Come on come onnnnn. It's a classic. I have an encyclopaedic and philosophical understanding of the MLP universe. No I will not talk about it.

Percy Jackson

Hey I mean it was pretty formative for me when I was younger. Got me into mythology! I'm critical of it nowadays but I cannot deny the positive impact it had on me. Good stuff! Haven't and probably won't watch the new live adaptation.

Piranesi

Read it VERY recently. Made me very existential for a while. However, the books I am emotionally invested in change on a monthly basis. Expect the title to switch in a little bit.

Welcome to Night Vale

I got into it half a year ago and it literally changed my brain chemistry. One of my forever fandoms for sure. An astute Aubergine truther, I am.

Tag Organisation Guide!

Annie’s Anomalous Affairs:

#annie’s aberrant abominations - there’s very little content in this tag. OC tag; I don’t reaaaally talk about my OCs though so don’t worry about it. It’s mostly stuff I reblog to help character build anyway. I’ll list the subtags for individual OCs below as they appear on my blog.

#abomination: Hannah

#abomination: Spring

#annie adores advice - there’s a LOT of content in this tag. Advice or awareness spreading I reblog that I think will help me live easier, or to signal boost so people who need it can use it.

#annie attempts art - my art! At least up until now I’ve drawn purely on iPad so it’s all digital medium.

#annie awakened - a tag specifically for answering asks and mentions! Nothing important there, just some fun with cool people online. Long post warning for most of the content there.

#annie awkwardly articulates - my posts! I talk about my thoughts and experiences, or I’ll be talking with some pals online.

#authentic annie appearances - my posts that show evidence of my social life (I’ll probably be recounting a story or displaying screenshots of text conversations with my friends)

Annie Appreciates…:

#birdposting - just the same; reblogging cool and/or funny posts about birds! I love birds. Love their behaviour, love how they evolve, love eating them. I try to include the species of bird in the tags whenever I can!

#boys will be boys - I use this tag whenever I am appreciating masculinity! This includes folks being silly, being kind, being geeky, and all around being. Often accompanied by the “girl moment” tag (elaborated on below). This is because I see beautiful and unique representations of femininity and masculinity in almost everything and everyone.

#classic - tag for infamous Tumblr posts that I archive for myself! Gotta collect those heritage posts, man. Can’t have a blog without the colour of the sky.

#fishposting - you guessed it; reblogging cool and/or funny posts about fish! I love fish. Love their biology, love how they look, love eating them. I try to include the species of fish in the tags whenever I can!

#girl moment - I use this tag whenever I am appreciating femininity! This includes folks being silly, being kind, being geeky, and all around being. Often accompanied by the “boys will be boys” tag (elaborated on above). This is because I see beautiful and unique representations of femininity and masculinity in almost everything and everyone.

#later gator - the tag I use to save things (usually videos) to look at later when I’m scrolling tumblr at double-time (or have my volume on), probably because I’m at work.

#my romantic wife - that’s the moon! I adore the moon, it’s unmatched (tag not to be confused with the term I often use, “my platonic wife”, elaborated on below)!

#number - tag for things that I think are attractive, ranging from various drawings of people (not images, I’m not comfortable publicly thirsting after living individuals) to standard-ATX motherboards.

Annie’s Associates:

#DNA double felix-cipher - tag for tumblr user @toytanks, Felix-Cipher. The tag is a play on the term “double helix structure”.

#my froinds :3 - I talk about or reblog posts that remind me of my friends! My friends are very important to me and I love them so so much. If I’m using this tag I’m talking about my irl pals.

#sarufiyyun - tag for tumblr user @biblicallyaccuratechicken, Seraph-Chim, who’s angelkin. Sarufiyyun is the Islamic term for Seraphim.

#the coworker - this very specific colleague I have who I spend most of my time with and who is pretty eccentric.

#the spouse - this is “my platonic wife” (not to be confused with the tag “my romantic wife”, elaborated on above)! My best friend who I’ve known for nearly two decades. I have a special tag for her because I have a special relationship with her. Sometimes I will be a little sulky about the spouse and her lame blonde boyfriend; but hey, I love her to bits. Marriage has its ups and downs!

Annie’s Avocations:

#art reference - what it says on the tin. Step by step guides or simple diagrams of art tips; whatever helps me draw!

#recipes - I feel like I should throw this tag in here now that I have at least two or three reblogs for it. Cool recipes for cool food I’d like to make one day.

#tutorial - tutorials for anything at all! I eat life advice for every meal.

#writing - yes, I have nothing to show for it on here, but I’m a writer! Tag for writing tips and also inspiration.

That's all, folks! Have a good one!

#pinned post #header post #annie awkwardly articulates

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atomicpoetrymusic-blog · 1 year

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I've noticed that a lot of people are starting to get a bit frustrated with the way Bridgerton is being handled, lately. Believe me, I've started to feel this way myself, but I think a lot of this is just marketing, and I believe (this is my opinion and NOT a fact, so please don't hate me) that a lot of it is to do with Queen Charlotte (I'll be calling the show QC from now on, just to make my life easier), and the POTENTIALLY polarising effect of Polin.

I'd like to reiterate, I definitely haven't done all the research into this topic I probably should have done, but I do have some idea about the way production and marketing works. This is my own speculation about why Shondaland are being so slow on giving the audience content, and on releasing s3, and in no way reflects what is actually going on behind the scenes - as I have just done here, I will be referring to the whole production team, including marketing, as Shondaland (again, to make my life easier, as I've written a lot). I'll also be incorporating my own opinions into this speculation, so please take everything I say with a mountain of salt. I enjoy this show, and I really want it to do well, so I mean no disrespect to anyone involved, and everything I say comes from a place of love.

I'll start with QC, as it is a little more straightforward, and a little easier for me to get my head around. Basically, I think that Shondaland put so much effort and money into QC, that they want it to have its moment in the sun, without the flagship show taking up the spotlight (forgive my mixed metaphors). I don't know/can't remember if it was delayed at any point, but if it was, then I COMPLETELY understand why the main show is taking so long in its release - they want QC to do well and make its money back.

Personally, I always thought that a show about Queen Charlotte's past was a bit strange, especially with the hype for s3 so palpable right after s2 aired. I understand that this is a massive brand, and they wanted to profit off that, and make all the spin-offs they could think of, but at the same time, I think they should have doubled down on their focus on s3.

Like I've said, within the fanbase, Polin has proved to be a little more of a fraught and contested relationship, unlike Saphne and Kanthony, and instead of drawing out the problem and making the audience wait, they should have had an earlier release date for s3. In fact, I think the QC release date would have been great for s3 - apparently, they had mostly finished post production on s3 in late March. S2 was released in March 2022, and QC was released in May 2023. That alone was already over a year of waiting for new content. And it wasn't even the main show.

In fact, as it turned out, QC was competing with an ACTUAL royal event, the coronation of King Charles III and Queen Camilla, on the same weekend. I'm English, a royalist, and I wanted to watch real history taking place. I know that's just me, and definitely doesn't represent the audience as a whole at all, but millions tuned in to watch the coronation - a fictional queen, no matter how based on history she is, just doesn't have the same significance.

Also, a lot of the more casual viewers just would not have been interested - my mum is a casual Bridgerton viewer, but I don't think she even knows about QC. And some fans (unfortunately, me included) just weren't as invested in QC, and didn't watch it. I myself only got halfway through episode 2 - I paused it so I could make dinner, and couldn't bring myself to turn it back on again afterwards.

I think that's why we got all the proper trailers and teasers and just general promotion for QC, while s3 hasn't had that - QC is a spin-off, Bridgerton is the main event, and a popular one at that. Again, they want to make their money back, and exceed it if they can. But now, Shondaland have made the whole Bridgerton audience wait well over a year for a new season of their flagship show - and we still have another 6 months to wait.

This leads me on to the Polin side of things, and why s3's marketing has been so all over the place.

Colin and Penelope's story in the show is going to be DRASTICALLY different from the book, and so the audience, for the first time, truly don't know what is in store. Book fans have some ideas, but the fact is, the context is different; the events leading up to the season are different, their relationship going into the season is different, their relationships with their friends/family are different, and the synopsis of the season that was released is, again, different. Shondaland are playing very close to the chest at the moment, they don't want anything leaked or spoiled. But the fact remains, the audience have waited a long time now, and are starting to either chomp at the bit, or lose interest.

I feel like I've had more information from the cast and the fans than I have from the official sources. TUDUM (which was yesterday, as of writing), was hyped up to be this big event where the fans got a bit of a taste of what is to come, potentially some stills, a quick 30 second scene from the first episode, maybe even a teaser trailer. What we got in reality was disappointing, to say the least. Four stills, all of either Colin or Penelope (one of which we've basically already had because of a leak, which has been floating around the internet for a while now), and nothing else. I'm not complaining about the pictures we got - they look beautiful, and do shed some light on the potential storyline - but there really should have been something more. It was all focused on Pen and Colin, with only a couple of blurry Bridgerton family members in the background of ONE picture (I'll come back to why this particular point could be damaging to the show later).

Now, my next point is rather delicate, and does hit close to home for me, so I'll be as sensitive as I can. But, it has to be said, and I feel that it really could have an impact on the show if it's not handled correctly.

This point is about Penelope's appearance, especially compared to Daphne and Kate. Nicola Coughlan is gorgeous, and the latest stills released definitively prove that, but the fact remains she is not the typical Hollywood slim body type that the previous 2 female leads were. I know that there are differences between Phoebe and Simone as well, but they are both considered 'attractive' by industry standards.

Given that this is a show with sexual content, the physical appearance of an actor/actress is important to the audience. Yes, to many fans it doesn't matter, and are in fact applauding the representation of different shaped and sized actresses, especially given the context, but the casual viewer might not be so interested in watching. And casual viewers tend to make up the majority of any audience, which Shondaland will know, and should be taking into account when promoting the show.

Now, I'm not exactly slim or conventionally attractive, either. It has taken me a long time to come to terms with my weight, and to feel beautiful and comfortable in myself. I have nothing but respect and admiration for Nicola to be a plus-sized actress in such a high-profile way and still seem so confident and happy in herself. But even I don't want this to be a focal point of the story between Penelope and Colin. Yes, this should DEFINITELY be addressed in some capacity, especially as it relates back to Pen's insecurity and part of her character arc, and even Colin's in a way, but I'm anxious about how it will be handled, whether that be that they don't address it at all (which I believe is unlikely), or they address it too much.

I can relate to feeling insecure, feeling trapped, and hiding my emotions because I don't want to be hurt or to hurt anyone else. But I don't want to be told that I will be looked down on in society for being even the slightest bit unattractive, unconventional, or different every 5 seconds. I get that enough on social media. It is victimhood mentality, and I watch this show as a form of escapism, and I'm sure many other people do too.

This is one of the reasons why I think Polin can be so polarising. In the book, they actually bond over feeling insecure about their places in the world, and how they desire responsibility over their own lives - Pen with the creation of Whistledown and what it means to her, and Colin's struggle with his place as the third brother and finding his purpose. It has been touched upon in the past 2 seasons, but now will be front and centre.

These feelings, when not handled or written or even acted correctly, can seem shallow, annoying, or uncomfortable. Especially if you see them either as overly privileged, or perpetual victims. It is a difficult tightrope to walk for a writer, let alone in marketing. Creating promotional content is hard, as the actual context of why the characters might look or behave in a certain way is skewed and can be easily misinterpreted - just watch those videos about changing the genre of movie trailers. Shondaland are probably still trying to find a good fit for what they're promoting, that will satisfy both the diehard fans, and the casual viewers. This doesn't excuse the long time between seasons, but might be why they are being so careful with the content they are providing right now.

Another reason Polin can be polarising is the context of the past 2 seasons. There are fans who dislike the way Colin has treated Pen. There are fans who dislike the way Pen has treated Colin. There are fans who want Pen to treat Colin like dirt and for Colin to grovel at her feet. There are fans who think Colin is being side-lined and mistreated in his own love story in favour of Pen becoming a girlboss. There are fans who think that the 2 characters shouldn't end up together. There are fans who want Colin to get back together with Marina. There are fans who want Pen to be in a romantic relationship with Eloise or Benedict.

These are all real wants I have seen coming from the fanbase. And those are just the ones off the top of my head without research.

Personally, I love Polin. I think they are sweet and lovely friends-to-lovers goodness. That they both understand and connect with each other on a level that goes beyond romance and friendship (despite Colin's obvious obliviousness to her feelings and Pen placing him on a pedestal, only for it to swept out from under him in a matter of moments last season). And, that they also have a darker side to them that creates the story and has lasting consequences for both their relationship and for those around them. This combination creates an interesting dynamic, undercut by a romantic tension and connection that neither character truly understands yet.

However, as I mentioned above, not all fans feel this way, and are being actively vitriolic against the pairing. Shondaland will be very aware of this, and so far have done their best to make it clear to the audience that Penelope and Colin ARE the main couple and main characters in s3. As I said WAY back in the QC section, TUDUM released 4 new stills, all of which feature Colin and Penelope, as their only new promotional material. I think this is a good thing, for the most part, because ultimately, if s3 mainly revolves around them and their relationships (with each other and with the other characters), then that is the product/content they are selling, and those people who don't like it are able to step away if they feel that strongly about it, while at the same time Polin fans are given reassurance that Shondaland won't be deviating too much from the source material and having the couple split up/never get together at all.

However, as a knock-on effect, the casual viewers, and the people who are only middling, and prefer the aspects of the ensemble cast, or want some Kanthony content, are left a little by the wayside, as there is NO new content for ANY of the other characters (I said I'd come back to this point later!), except for the blurry Bridgertons.

We don't know how Eloise is holding up after her fallout with Pen, or what Benedict is up to now he's left the art school, or how Francesca might be doing on the lead up to her first Season (both in the show, and as a cast member :D). We don't know what married Kanthony are doing now that they're together, or what the Featheringtons are up to, or where Violet and the unmarried Bridgertons are even living, as they should have moved out of the house into No. 5 to give Kate and Anthony Bridgerton House as Viscount and Viscountess. There are just so many options for stills they could have added, even if it was just a generic picture of Kate and Anthony stood next to each other holding hands, or Benedict and Eloise sat together on the swings, or Francesca walking around a ballroom accompanied by Violet. These things, yes, give us information about the upcoming season, but are all things the audience are expecting to see anyway. Why not give the fans a little more to work with?

I also don't think it helps that the audience, although finally being given the release date, still have to wait 6 months. The anticipation is already starting to wear a little thin, and it just gives the audience more time to get frustrated by the wait, and to sour on the show. I've seen more and more posts on a variety of platforms getting more and more vitriolic and nasty towards not just the show and its characters, but the production team and the cast, as well.

As I said earlier, I think giving s3 QC's release date would have been preferable for a variety of reasons. Spring and/or Winter are the best times to release Bridgerton's kind of genre, especially in TV. Summer is too hot and sticky and everyone would rather be outside doing stuff, and Autumn (Fall, for any Americans) is when a lot of the network TV shows (at least in the U.S.) are released, and so would have a lot of competition. Bridgerton s1 was released in Winter -where everyone is snuggled up, most workplaces are closed for holidays - and did fantastically, while s2 was released in Spring - not too hot, not too cold, and early enough that teenagers wouldn't have exams/end of year tests to worry about, capitalising on that demographic.

The release of QC kind of ground the release of s3 to a halt, because of the need for that show to not be overshadowed (see my QC section again for detail on why that's important). And, with the above Summer and Autumn reasons not to release, it makes it tricky for s3 to be as successful as it could have been if released then.

As I've said, I haven't finished QC, so I don't know if that show will have any impact on s3, but even if it did, I think I'll stick by what I said; s3 should have replaced QC in the release order. Yes, they finished post production on QC first, but then I would say they should have delayed filming on QC until after they had already got a solid amount of s3 done, if they were worried about it being overshadowed by s3, and have QC be released on s3's release date, if not a little sooner. That way, the audience hopefully wouldn't have such a large gap between seasons of Bridgerton, and they would be able to streamline the production of both a little better. Personally, I think I would have been more interested in QC if it was released in the Winter, but maybe that's just me.

Overall, the marketing for s3 of Bridgerton has just been a bit too lacklustre and drawn out. Most people are probably still just as excited as ever, and I hate to be the cynic who throws water on the fire, but it's just been such a long wait with minimal content, that I'm starting to get tired of the slow arrival. But, I'm still looking forward to s3 when it finally comes, and I hope it doesn't disappoint. The past 2 seasons were really enjoyable.

And, that's all my current thoughts on the recent Bridgerton marketing! This literally took me hours to write, so I hope you liked it.

If you didn't like what I had to say, that's fine. But please, don't be mean about it. I have put a lot of thought and effort into this - despite starting to write this on a whim - and at the end of the day, I'm just a fan who wants to enjoy this show.

If you got this far, thank you so much for reading!

#bridgerton #bridgerton season 3 #colin bridgerton #penelope featherington

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foxounderscorecube · 1 year

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How to Stop Fascism - Paul Mason

4¼ ⭐

This is a hell of a book to read - in a good way, really.

The title is a little bit of a misnomer in that I shall not be single-handedly toppling fascism any time soon, which is a shame. Instead, it analyses the history and philosophy of fascism: its roots in Nietzche, irrationalism, and Futurism; the "perfect storms" that allowed it to develop in the past in different places; and the responses of people and political groups, however they turned out. Mason also looks over the leftist theory at the time in lesser detail - typically more specifically how the prevalent theory and discourse of the time affected the responses of left-wing groups.

I have to say, the whole thing about irrationalism did make the ideology make more sense to me. There are times where I see right-wingers argue points that I believe are abhorrent, but which I can understand in terms of how they got to their perspective; however, often, it all seems very obviously nonsensical and made-up (i.e. whatever is/was going on with QAnon; "women are naturally subservient but I can't get laid because women are too entitled and men are oppressed" incel arguments; "transvestigators" circlejerking about the wrist width of celebrities). That some of the traceable philosophy is quite literally "it is this way because I say so :)" is a much simpler answer than I expected, but it tracks.

That a lot of the philosophy is about leaving behind humanity and becoming objects that simply produce capital is absolutely harrowing, but also kind of makes sense. Of course, any governmental system that scapegoats entire groups of people is going to benefit from dehumanising their targets, but that a lot of it is based around dehumanising themselves is also pretty enlightening.

The history section was pretty frustrating to read because, as ever, the leftists couldn't stop in-fighting. Look, I'm not going to pretend I agree with every leftist out there - quite the opposite. I am a person. But the fact that historical leftists refused to acknowledge the fascist groups of their time as the real enemy, and instead focusing their attacks on each other and anyone else close-but-not-close-enough to their personal political beliefs would sound like a complete joke if I didn't believe that would absolutely happen again. It probably still is! I mean, look at the response to the person who leaked the TSA no-fly list - it was a very important leak, but half of what I saw about it outside of "holy fucking bingle!" memes was people arguing whether or not the labels she used to describe her gender and sexuality were "problematic" or not.

Still, that's kind of the point of the inclusion of it all, isn't it? The successes and failures of anti-fascists in the past need to be taken note of if we're to contain the threat of modern fascism while it's in its infancy. Current politics is taking a dangerous turn, but we're nowhere near the point of no return, thankfully.

Following the spirit of the Popular Front - a short-lived but vitally important alliance of political groups left of centre made to dissolve fascist groups - Mason suggests that a similar attitude of cutting out the in-fighting for five minutes and focusing on the real enemy is probably a good idea. I don't wholly disagree. Those working to remove the rights of minorities will happily team up with just about anyone to bring about their vision, so we should probably be teaming up with others who think that minorities should have rights, actually.

I'll admit, I'm less of a fan of his self-admittedly flawed suggestion of large social media platforms (or the Internet as a whole) requiring ID and such to post. As Mason says himself, people in high-control situations (political, familial, whatever) will be put at a severe disadvantage. Content creators - especially those that make adult content - would be at much higher risk of rogue fans finding their information. Of course, the anonymity of the Internet is exactly what allows people to spread misinformation, pull political strings, and incite violence, so I do see what he's getting at. But god, there's got to be a better way, surely!

My own ramblings aside, though, this is a well-argued, easy-to-understand book that I reckon is worth the read.

#read 2023 #reviewed 2023 #this took way longer to read than I thought it would and I do not know why #politics #antifascism #books #reading #book review

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surely-galena · 2 years

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Just thought of something after seeing the occasional Hatoful Boyfriend post on your TL, but...what do you think would happen if MC/Rosa, who we saw give a (or in a lot of players' cases, multiple) no-hold barred beatdown-type debate to a pigeon in an event, found out about Hatoful Boyfriend? 😅

Hello, exhausted-impact!!

[WC: 1.6K ] I'll be putting this under a cut so people can scroll through faster that way, haha

//mild spoilers for hatoful bf and holiday star

And okay, here's my take on MC/Rosa and Hatoful Bf (with obligatory disclaimer that these are just my opinions):

But first, a semi-tangent--

I honestly think Luke, bird friend extraordinaire (okay, one bird friend) would get into the game first. Just for fun, and because his life is stressful enough that maybe the haha funny pigeon dating game could provide some escapism for him. He's going along with it, maybe sending screenshots to the NXX members (maybe a suspicious Shuu line goes to Vyn along with the caption "is this you??")

Several things happen, one at a time.

The first is Nageki, because going into that one blind... it changes things, you know? Especially since I think Luke, with his desire to be the martyr and/or hero, would find himself relating a little too much. That's when the screenshot sending slows down.

Things continue to get darker with Shuu's endings. Anghel's route is unexpectedly emotional (because I don't know, I think Luke would vibe with Anghel).

And then the BBL route / true end hits.

The moment Ryouta finds, you know, the box, is when Luke stops. He makes a save and sends a text to MC, like, hey. you gotta see this.

And because they've had a history of playing video games together (even if a lot of them do seem to be action/fighting based), I think they'd also be down to go through a VN?

So here's where MC comes in.

"Ah," MC goes. "The pigeon dating sim."

"Yeah, yeah, roll your eyes all you want," Luke says, and then makes her start all the way from Ryouta's route.

Going through the first half of the game (the bird routes) doesn't actually take that long, it's maybe an hour or so for the first one, and then if you skip through seen lines for the rest then it's maybe half an hour per route (if you're reading aloud. Because I want MC to voice all of Hiyoko's fantastic lines and Luke to switch back and forth between voicing the rest of the birds).

I mean, MC saying lines like these aloud is just a fun concept in general:

For the sake of their vocal cords, I'm going to say that the first half of the game takes about 2-3 days, depending on how much free time they have.

Here's a quick rundown of how I think MC is going to find the routes:

Ryouta: Sad, but a really good opener. If MC knows about Luke's illness at this point, she'll probably make some parallels (i.e. childhood friend dying) and be even sadder.

Kazuaki/Nanaki: She respects that the teacher rejects Hiyoko, but is overall mostly intrigued by the file room conversation and the blacked out photo.

Sakuya: I think she probably wants to bop him on the head half the time, but she's still able to relate to his struggles and understand him as a character. Even if she really wants to make him treat his half-brother better.

Nageki: Luke gives her a content warning before that particular twist and they're both left feeling kinda sad afterward. He's a sweet bird, and MC was really looking forward to befriending him, but at least he found peace :')

Yuuya: Honestly Luke's favorite main route because of the whole secret agent thing and he won't shut up about it. MC just listens to his whole spiel and is thoroughly entertained by it all. She also loves the best end.

Shuu: MC definitely puts two and two together and gasps at the roast bird delivery scene. They both crack up at that triple 'yes' option, but overall Shuu is probably the bird MC wants to debate/fight the most. "Suspicious people like him should not be in a school in the first place," she says. "Suspicious birdies," Luke corrects, and she elbows him in response.

Okosan: MC's just kinda "huh??" throughout this one, but in a good way. Okosan is the most similar to the pigeons she's debated, so possible mixed feelings on that end, but the best ending leaves her smiling and shaking her head, because a) what was that?? and b) oh of course that happened. Totally makes sense. At the same time, part of Okosan does remind her of Peanut, so her feelings about his route are more positive than not.

Anghel: She loves the boss battle in this one. She also ends up wanting to protect Anghel almost as much, if not equally as much as Nageki. She calls out his name expectantly every time they hear the glass breaking sound effect after this.

Azami: This one is just a fun route! I think MC's a bit of a romantic, so she'd probably enjoy getting Azami back with Rabu. But her girlboss side would also adore Hiyoko and Azami starting a gang together. Either way, it's also mildly refreshing to not think about being murdered by Shuu or other Hawk Party agents.

Okay, time to move on to the second half of the game / true end.

MC is really intrigued by the fulfilling the promise option. Because they're playing on Luke's version, she'll already have seen it, but she hasn't clicked on it until now.

Luke has only seen up to the box scene, so they both get to go in mostly blind. MC is already semi-invested up to this point, but as the story unravels, she finds herself even more intrigued. It's also hard not to draw uncomfortable parallels from H5N1 to the NXX drug.

I think the things that are going to hit MC the most are Hiyoko's murder, Nageki's backstory, Sakuya's arc, and the part where the birds essentially use the power of friendship to bring Ryouta back. Also the scene with Nageki vs. Hitori's shadow.

For Luke, I'd definitely say that the shadow scene hits hard as well (especially when Nageki reminds Hitori of his second promise).

Oh!! And after the credits roll and the epilogue hits, Luke is probably overjoyed to see Yuuya alive. MC is cracking up over how he genuinely believed Yuuya died, but overall she's really happy that hope ultimately prevails in the end.

For NXX found fam agenda purposes:

Let's say MC decides to drag the rest of the NXX members into playing through the game all over again just to see their reactions to the bait and switch.

Artem is only mildly interested at first. Vyn is amused, but MC asked so of course he's in (and it's not like he's going to miss out on time with MC). Marius just thinks the concept is hilarious and that's why he also agrees.

Super quick bullet points, but here are various reactions for each member:

Artem: Doesn't really understand the hype until he gets to Nageki. From that point on, he's always looking out for "the library bird" (to MC's delight). He ends up really liking Sakuya's character arc and the whole murder mystery later on, and the fact that so much foreshadowing is done in the first half. It also helps that the sci-fi aspects intrigue him. He drafts a review on his Mockingbird blog, but never posts it (mostly because Mockingbird playing a bird dating sim is just going to lead to commenters making a bunch of the same jokes). His favorite character ends up being Anghel.

Marius: Somehow, he always picks out the right beans for Legumentine's and MC is completely bemused by it. The parts that hit hardest for him are the Yuuya half-brother/egg twist and the scene where Yuuya sacrifices himself for Sakuya (because brother parallels). At the same time, he's also yelling at Sakuya to be nicer to Yuuya. Oh, and he's genuinely shocked when Shuu gets shot near the end.

Vyn: Starts psychoanalyzing Shuu from the moment he meets him because he's still not over that one text Luke sent. Actually ends up guessing a lot of emotional beats/plot points by accident, but MC refuses to confirm or deny his predictions. His favorite character is Hitori because he finds him intriguing.

Actually on Hitori, it's up to you if you want to imagine an NXX version of Hitorigate (but milder), but I imagine that if it happens, MC is probably going to be pretty neutral XP

Oh, and then they all find out Holiday Star is a thing.

More quick bullet points on that:

MC immediately wants to adopt Miru and Kaku

Luke gets really excited at the Miru and Kaku tank scene

Vyn finds out that he has a new favorite character (it's Albert. Not just because they share the same name (although that is part of the reason), but also because of the Ogier parallels haha)

Marius' favorite story is Absolute Zero -- because of the comic aspect, but also because he finds Tohri hilarious

He also ends up accidentally memorizing the Pretty Coore catchphrases

Artem and Vyn both find The Day the Night Slept to be their favorite parts, but for slightly different reasons

Vyn gets to jump back onto the Hitori analysis train (pun unintended?)

Artem just thinks the dream symbolism is really interesting. Also, he's really vibing with the storybook framing

The part where Yuuya is working with Leone JB to jump into the rest of the cast's dreams only solidifies him as Luke's favorite character

Also MC, Marius, and Luke all go "HE DID NOT" when the King drops the "are you going to break another egg?" line

Marius really, really loves the art style for The Day the Night Slept and adores how the King is painted

You know the picture book scene where everything is just scribbles? Marius points at Artem and goes "that's how you draw"

MC cracks up at Shuu's "become sashimi" line and can't stop laughing for a full five minutes

But it's also an emotional rollercoaster because she tears up at the lighthouse scene

Thank you for the ask! It was definitely interesting to think about (as you can probably tell by the word count) :D

Have a nice day!!

#a while back I said that hatoful bf was a solid b-tier game. but the funny thing is after analyzing it #I actually think it might have gone up a tier. which isn't a bad thing at all #asks #exhausted-impact #hmm what do I tag this with? both??#tears of themis #hatoful boyfriend

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mushies-stories · 2 years

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Eddie <3

first off, Eddie will always be alive. they got it wrong. Secondly, here a little Eddie crush for everyone because I love fluff. and lastly this is a new account that was made because of Eddie.

Gn!reader

Y/N is shy Eddie is adorable. fluff.

kind of profred?

***************************************************

Everyday. Every day I saw him at school and in history. sitting in front of me, talking to his friend and bandmate who sat next to his right. always turned just so I could see him.

weather he knew how it made me feel to look at him all hour while he tries his best to distract his friend or not my heart always beat faster over his laugh and smile, his hands with those rings he would wave around enthusiastically. My heart melted over all of it. over all of him.

but that wasn't something I would ever just tell him, hell no. he would probably think I'm a loser. I don't think i could handle the biggest crush of my life reject me.

So, I never said anything to him. happily content to be near him and sneak glances at his beautiful brown eyes.

that was until the teacher paired us up for a project. calling out our names, telling us we will have three weeks to complete a presentation.

'Well, shit. I'm going to mess this up, I already know it' I think in a panic. I barely knew how to talk to normal people. how was I going to talk to Eddie?!

the papers for the project's objectives were handed out and once Eddie had our papers, he turned around in his seat to face me. "Well, hey Y/N." he said with a rather chippy tone and wide smile.

"Hey." I say back faster than I probably should have to not look dumb. just hearing my name from his lips sounded perfect.

"So, we could meet at your place or my place, either is fine with me." he suggests.

you think for a moment. not sure if being at his place would be good for your heart so you suggest your house. your mom was gone for the night anyways with an overnight shift.

"sound's good sweetheart, I'll see you at 6." he says with a smile before grabbing his bag and leaving with his friend, who was waiting for him by the door.

********************************************************

fast forward to almost 6 and I'm sitting in the living room watching hellraiser when the doorbell rings. must be Eddie. my heart Begin's to beat faster, like it did every time I thought about Eddie.

I stand up and make my way to the door. when I open It, Eddie was leaning in the door frame. he leans in a bit to look around inside. effectively towering over me. a simple action that means nothing, but my heart is a fluttering mess.

this was going to be a long night.

"Neat." he says then grins down at me. "Can I come in?"

I move out of the way and stutter over my words. "Oh yeah... please come in."

I shut the door after him and lead him to the living room where I had a few books about World War 2 laying on the table and hellraiser paused on the tv. Eddie looks at the book and back to me. "World War 2?"

Nodding my head, I walk over and grab one, flipping threw it a little. "It's an interesting topic that has a lot more history than just what the schoolbooks go into detail about." I inform him.

"Well then sweetheart that's what we will do, you seem to know a good amount about it." he says then takes a seat in the middle of the couch, leaving just enough space on either side of him.

I stand there not sure of what to do. do I sit next to him? or on the ground...

"c'mon sit down, let's get started." He pats the spot to his left.

next to him it is, I guess.

I move over to the couch and take a seat next to him, legs straight in front of me. I focus on the book in my hand as I speak. "Okay, we should probably pick a few events to base the project off of." I speak for a while about random facts I remembered reading at some point. but when I don't hear a reply after a while, I look over to see Eddie staring at me with a small smile.

"Hey Y/N?"

Oh, how I don't think I will ever get tired of him saying my name.

"Yes?"

"Why are you so shy around me?"

My breathing stopped and all could do is stair into Eddies big brown eyes. he lets out a chuckle and brings a hand up to graze is ringed fingers along my cheek. causing my face to grow hot and probably bright red against his cooled silver rings.

"What... what do you mean?" I managed to Croke out.

His fingers stay there, tracing my skin lightly. "Like this, all red and stiff." he looks down at my body that hasn't moved an inch. "And in class, whenever I tell you good morning you just give me small haves back."

That was true, I couldn't even muster up a hello or good morning back.

I panic, I don't know what to say. "I umm... well it's just... that..." my words trial off. I turn my head the opposite of his hand. his rings and attention to distracting.

He pulls his hand back to his own lap. "Sweetheart I don't want to make you uncomfortable; we could always ask to switch partners?" he suggested.

but that wasn't what you wanted. you shook your head and blurted your protest. "No! it's not that I don't want to work with me, I just... get nervous around you." you take a deep breath. "I just had kind of have a small... crush... on you." you admit, making sure to not look him in the eyes.

"Look at me, please." he says sternly.

I turn to face him. he's looking at me with a serious expression.

"Now I tend to stay away from others when I get ignore because that normally means they want nothing to do with me, but you were ignoring me because you have a crush on me?" He quicks a brow, waiting for conformation.

all I could do was manage a nod of my head. but Eddie seems to find something funny and begins to chuckle to himself. this is what I was scared about, rejection.

"Babe, if I would have known I would have done something sooner."

I look at him with confusion. what did he mean? and these pet names he seems to be getting used to using are tearing my heart out of my chest.

"I see you, look at me in class." he confesses, and I felt like my face was going to set itself on fire. "I just thought I was bugging you." he laughs then brings his hand back up to my cheek, leaning in so we were only a few inches apart.

my breath hitches in my throat. with him so close I can smell the weed he must have smoked before getting here. "Eddie?" I question him and look into his big eyes searching for an answer.

"Can I kiss you sweetheart?"

that pet name again making me weak. Again, I nod.

"Tell me Babe, use your words please." He looked at me sternly. needing verbal conformation.

"Please Eddie, kiss me..." you basically beg him.

Eddie didn't need any more than that. his lips were on mine in an instant. his soft full lips plush against my own. it felt amazing. Eddie moves his hand from my cheek to my waist while his other to my thigh, gripping it softly. my own arms slowly snake around his neck to rest behind his head, feeling his soft hair. He deepens the kiss, not seeming to get enough.

When we both need air, we finally pull apart reluctantly. we continue to hold each other. He looks me deep in mt eyes, a soft smile on his now puffy lips. "Well Babe, does this mean you'll stop ignoring me?"

I smile sweetly back. "I think it's safe to say I'll never be able to ignore you again." I admit. causing him to chuckle.

Eddie pulls me into him more so I'm practically sitting in his lap. "Good, now how about we take the night off and restart hellraiser?" he nods to the still paused movie.

"That sounds like a great idea." I confirm. "Wanna smoke real fast before? I can go grab my stash?" I ask him.

Eddie just looks at me with wide eyes.

"What." I question him.

"Your just full of surprises, huh? “He chuckles. “Also I don’t think so, I’m the dealer in this relationship and I’m already prepared." He then pulls out a wooden box from his pocked and popped out the one bat hidden inside. "C'mon I always come prepared." he says taking your hand and standing up. you just giggle and fallow him outside.

#eddie munson #Eddie munson x reader #eddie munson imagine #stranger things #stranger things imagine #stranger things x reader #gn!reader #eddie munson x gn!reader

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alexwatchesshows · 4 months

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Black Sails season 1 wrap-up

Spoilers for all of season 1.

What a season. To be honest, season 1 is by far my least favourite season of Black Sails, but it's still quite a bit better than most of the other shows I've watched.

I'm not really sure how to structure this, so I guess I'll just start with looking about the shift of power in Nassau. At the beginning of the season, Richard Guthrie arguably holds most of the power, with Eleanor as his proxy in the town. Hornigold has the fort, which means... something, I guess. As Richard Guthrie's tenuous connections to civilisation are severed (and he is injured in a fight with the British troops), he loses his power, but Eleanor (and to an extent, Flint), takes over fully, still acting in his name, and continues to run Nassau relatively well, until Richard Guthrie comes back to fuck shit up even more. He isn't content with just trying to sabotage Flint's plan with the Urca, and decides that announcing his arrest is the best next step, ultimately creating more chaos. Despite some people's claims that this will also be the end of Eleanor's claim to the island, she manages to (quite quickly) regain her standing and power, by collaborating with influential captains (most notably Hornigold) and creating a shipping consortium that seems to be running successfully. Once again, a level of order is returned to Nassau and, once again, someone comes along to disrupt it. This time, it's Vane, with his hired pirates from the mysterious island, who reveals the power of the fort, taking it from Hornigold, but ultimately (I think) leaving most of the rest of Nassau's power structure in place, just putting himself a little above everyone else, because he can.

The crew of the Walrus spends most of the season on the verge of a similar power upheaval, but doesn't actually undergo one until the last episode. Flint, with the help of Billy and Gates, and a whole lot of lying and manipulation (and a little murder), manages to cling onto his role as captain for about seven and a half episodes. Killing Billy (or at least, letting Billy die, or not doing much to dissuade Gates that he did that) was what ultimately led to his downfall as it turned Gates, his most loyal man, against him, allowing him to unite the crew, but this time against Flint. Maybe if he'd accounted for the weather in his navigations and had found the Urca sooner, a complete mutiny would have been avoided, but, given how close he was to it throughout the season, it was probably going to happen at some point.

I can't figure out how to smoothly transition into this, so we're just going to look at some of the characters now.

Flint remains somewhat of a mystery to us. Over the course of the season, we see how he is driven by an ambition to make Nassau something more through the Urca gold. He's presented as almost being separate from the other pirates, furthered by the fact that he spends time living with Miranda on the inner-island. He knows how to captain a ship, motivate a crew, and spice a pig. He's well-read. He's an emotional wreck. The only insight we have into his and Miranda's backstory is Richard Guthrie's likely warped, gossipy account of Flint having an affair with Miranda, driving Miranda's husband mad with grief. It's clear that Miranda never wanted to be in Nassau, but there's no way in hell Flint will accept a pardon that will allow him to return to civilisation with her. Aside from Miranda, he was clearly good friends with Gates, but I doubt that Gates ever knew as much as Miranda about his history. He also has some kind of friendship with Eleanor, based on their shared borderline-obsessive motivation to make Nassau more powerful. Mostly, he just seems angry, sad, and traumatised, but remains a mystery.

Silver, similarly, remains a mystery. We learn almost immediately that he's quick, smart, and independent. He came from a merchant vessel (which he possibly wasn't employed on willingly) and is only working with the pirates for as long as it will take for him to get his gold. He's earned some of Randall's loyalty, and has wormed himself into Flint and Eleanor's lives, but doesn't seem particularly attached to any person or crew. Honestly, he hasn't changed much as a character yet.

Vane has not had a great time of it, and it is partially his fault. He took quite a detached approach to his crew and general leadership, which resulted in him having little to no control over how his men treated Max, causing him to fall way out of Eleanor's good graces. His complete fall from power led to him having some kind of soul-searching mental breakdown and eventually going back to somewhere where he was enslaved(?) at a younger age. On this mysterious island, he fights the demons of his past, and emerges stronger, both in terms of men and in terms of his sense of self. He is truly reborn when he rises from the literal grave. Then he retakes Nassau and can face Eleanor once again, but allows her to retain some power.

Jack and Anne are basically joined at the hip, no matter how much they may resent each other at times. Jack's mistake with the pearls gets them (and Vane) into trouble and the situation with Max is the closest they come to breaking, but, whatever happens, they go through it together. They go from being valued crew members, to disgraced crew members, to brothel owners, to (briefly) Eleanor's murder accomplices, to generally much more successful brothel owners, to incredibly disgraced brothel owners. They barely communicate, they seem to have very different goals and values, but they stick together.

Eleanor, much like Flint, is constantly fighting to stay in control. Unlike Flint, she still holds some control by the end of the season. Through her ambition, she loses a lot of people: Max, her father, Mr. Scott, but she stands pretty strong throughout this. The main development we see is her learning to swallow her pride to "forgive" Vane publicly, and her generally becoming a little less impulsive. There's also that lovely moment of understanding that her and Max come to at the end. Neither of them are in ideal positions, but they're still standing.

Speaking of Max, she's gone through hell. More than any other character so far, she has suffered for her ambition (probably as she is more vulnerable because of her race, class and gender). Despite this, she maintains her dignity and uses her intellegence and dedication to not only regain her old position at the brothel, but to rise up and become its new madame. Her outfit in the last episode shows just how much she's risen in the world. God, I love her.

We haven't necessarily had much time to explore many themes in a lot of detail yet, but we've seen the beginnings of a lot of them. Power is a big one, but I feel like I've written enough about that in regards to Nassau, the Walrus, and the individual characters. We see that there are lots of different types of power a character can hold such as, money/privilege, the regard of others, strategic power, and we see that all of these are very prone to change. Empire/civilisation is another key theme. Pirates exist outside of mainstream civilisation, allowing for those who may have been powerless within it to hold some degree of power. We see the democracy of the pirate crews as an example of this, as well as Eleanor, a woman, holding one of the main positions of power. Despite this, Nassau is not a safe haven, and, especially through Max and Mr Scott, we see that many forms of discrimination still thrive, even if there aren't any laws to uphold them.

I'm sure there's more to say about this season that I'll remember as soon as I post this, but this still feels like a servicable wrap-up, so enjoy, I guess. I'll be back very soon with my season 2 episode wrap ups.

#my posts #tv shows #spoiler #tv #tv show review #tv reviews #season wrap-up #black sails #black sails review #black sails spoilers

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unterwaesche · 1 year

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Someone being found by a court as not being able to be charged with a violation because there isn’t enough evidence to legally prove it beyond a reasonable doubt is NOT the same as someone being found to have for sure not committed the violation. Also all those pedo/“jailbait” and racist texts he sent are still real.

(Cont) So: He may well have done it and I didn’t see any proof-positive evidence presented that his accuser lied at all.

For comparison this would be like if I keyed your car and you saw me do it, but there’s 0 evidence I did besides your word and I’m convincing in denying it to a court so I get off free. Does that make you a liar for sure? Does that mean I didn’t do it for sure? Or does it just mean I can’t be convicted of it.

---

I'll be super honest, I'm assuming I've heard and possibly even posted before about his behavior on Twitter, probably because I agreed with the sentiment someone else said (or maybe I said it?) that it doesn't surprise me that the person who wrote Rick and Morty would do that, not because it's a given that someone who writes that way is a creep, but because as far as I managed to watch I kind of picked up on something underneath it all that could have just been my imagination or it might not have been. But I pay so little attention to content creators that I can't even remember the guy's name unless I look it up and I forgot all about that he had been saying a bunch of gross stuff, too.

But like, when curiosity gets the better of me, after seeing a post on here talking about how so-and-so is being a dick on social media or some other such thing that's just vague enough that if you know you know and if you don't it won't mean much to just read it, I'll look up the name for a Wikipedia page and jump to the controversy section just to see what's up. His whole thing with the charges probably stuck with me since it's not all that often that accusations against people like him make it to court.

But as to your actual point, you're right, and I think I assumed when that ask was saying that he was declared innocent that that meant his accuser rescinded the accusation, or admitted that she had made it up, or something along those lines, but I work...maybe not necessarily in the legal field, but adjacent to it, so in my mind if someone is declared innocent that's above and beyond the case being thrown out due to insufficient evidence (I'm just assuming that's what happened, based on the content of your ask). Obviously every defendant is innocent until adjudicated guilty within the scope of the trial, but people have to make their own judgments out in the world.

As a whole I don't have any faith in the legal system. Juries will be biased no matter what the judge tells them before they're sent out for deliberations. The state will hide behind the concept of probable cause to bypass illegal search and seizure. Defendants get any and all prior criminal history marched out if they try to speak on their own behalf, in spite of the fact that nobody is supposed to assume guilt due to prior behavior. Every person in the courtroom knows good and well that they're operating under a fundamentally flawed system that really only gets worse with every reform brought forth to try and improve it.

One thing I must disagree with, though, is that because he creeped on that lady on Twitter that it serves as an indication that there's a higher likelihood he did the assault/kidnapping thing. One of the only things that the justice system gets right is the narrow scope of proceedings, because prior behavior doesn't necessarily mean that what someone is on trial before is more likely to be true.

Personally though, I think that if more people were killed trying to commit these sorts of crimes before they ever got a trial, there wouldn't be nearly as many. Unfortunately you have to be afraid of the state coming down on you for defending yourself half the time anymore.

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ectonurites · 2 years

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i’m SO interested in timkon from kon’s perspective!!! i haven’t read almost anything from dc so 90% of what i know is from meta on tumblr and all the context i have is literally everyone going “walking bi flag superboy and twink robin are in love, trust me on this” but then all the “proof” of (non-52) kon being into dudes (aside from *gestures at him*) is about bart?? so i’m like ok maybe this is an unrequited thing, but then everyone is going “kon is crying screaming throwing up bc tim has a boyfriend and it’s not him!!!” and i’m like ok i’m gonna believe you guys, i’m invested at this point, but y’all tricked me with the coffee thing so i’m keeping an eye open for selenur

LMAO. Okay so I do wanna say that like, the way I view things with them probably isn't necessarily the way everyone in the fandom does, especially because.... tumblr DC fandom in particular is not renowned for reading the comics and looking at things in context, versus I read a lot of comics and somehow retain a lot of the information (as is evident if you follow me/see my posts go around). Also as a whole, I feel like a lot of fan content with Timkon comes from a Tim-centric POV rather than having as much deep digging into Kon's thoughts + content (understandable in some ways because his solo? very uncomfortable a lot of the time!).

Before digging into things, disclaimer: I'll be talking a bit about Kon's dating history, and Kon at age 16 dated Tana, a 23 year old woman (he also dated another adult woman, Knockout, but that doesn't really come up as much here). It's fucked up, it's not a good thing, I hate that it's something that happened. But when talking about Kon's relationships it's not something I can like... ignore or gloss over, ya know? Because it was a big thing for him for a while and is part of his story. I just want it clear that like... while i'll be talking about it seriously as one of his relationships, it's something I actively dislike. But it's not something the narrative has him treat as bad, so when talking about Kon's perspective it might not come across as negatively as I personally view it, if that makes sense?

Anyways, the way I see things, Kon potentially developing feelings for Tim doesn't really happen until after Kon comes back to life (and even so not in a way I think he'd be at all that aware of), which places it pretty shortly before the end of the pre-reboot world. I think there are like, things that built into it earlier, which I will go into, but as a whole a lot of this is in far more subtle ways than the more obvious moments we can point to for Tim having feelings for Kon.

This post is incredibly long and probably kinda disjointed, just a fair warning 🤷‍♂️

Quick note that I don't usually like the "proof" phrasing that you brought up in the ask, anon, when discussing these sorts of things. I prefer to approach posts I make like this from an angle of supporting/explaining a reading/interpretation of the text, rather than necessarily "proving" something. What I've laid out here is a lot of how I interpret things, based on looking at Kon's history and the connections that I've noticed across it, rather than saying anything all that definitively.

To start I want to discuss some of Kon's dating history. Kon has two long-standing love interests (Tana and Cassie) and then a lot of smaller shorter-lived ones, some of these shorter ones are still rather impactful (for better or worse) and I've done a more in-depth list of his love interests that goes into all of them before here, but the two longer ones are gonna be more brought up/relevant to this post. One thing that his relationships with Tana and Cassie have in common versus his shorter more fling-like romances is him considering the girl a best friend/close friend first. Obviously this doesn't mean 'ah yes he falls in love with everyone he considers a best friend' but it's a present component of the relationships that are most impactful for him.

Tana is someone he meets basically right out of the cloning tube- they meet in Adventures of Superman #501 which is the first issue focusing on him. There's immediate aesthetic attraction obviously, but over the course of the craziness that is Reign of the Supermen they become and remain best friends, not moving into dating territory until his solo comic afterwards. He's on Young Justice with Cassie for a while where she has very clear feelings for him from before the moment she met him- but he doesn't start to actively show feelings for her until after a very specific moment- when Tana is murdered in front of him and Cassie during Sins of Youth (Superboy #74). After Tana's death, Kon begins getting overprotective of Cassie in ways that actively annoyed her (in Young Justice #29 she complains about it) and at the end of the comic he confesses feelings (in Young Justice #55).

I think 'it's a significant traumatic event that sparked him feeling more for her than he had before' is the main takeaway I want to highlight here. Because then, as we enter the Teen Titans run, Conner is hit with this big traumatic revelation about himself... with his best friend Tim right there with him (Teen Titans Vol. 3 #1).

Quick recap of some Tim & Kon stuff before this point, because their friendship had been a kinda complicated thing. Their first meeting had them pitted against one another because of Poison Ivy before eventually managing to work together, and the two started getting on each other's nerves pretty quickly once Young Justice starts rolling. It's very clear Kon thinks Tim has a stick up his ass, and Tim thinks Kon doesn't know how to take anything seriously. It's also clear imo that Kon from pretty early on wants Tim to think highly of him/respect him (like how when Batman told him that Robin thinks highly of him, Kon immediately parrots it back to the alternate universe Bruce as one of his first ways to self-identify in Superboy #60) and does think pretty highly of Tim too (thinking about Young Justice #3 at the halloween party the way Kon & Bart are so quick to defend Tim) even if he's hard-pressed to admit it.

The primary thing that holds Tim & Kon back from being closer in this whole era is the lack of trust because Tim won't share much about himself. This blows up between them on Apokolips with their big fight, and Kon's talk with Linda afterwards (in Young Justice #38) makes it clear how much he really does care about Tim & their friendship despite the tension they had.

Linda: You said it fine. So... what are you doin' up here? Conner: Thinkin'. Linda: About what? Conner: I dunno. Stuff. Linda: Boy, it's like pulling teeth with you sometimes, y'know that? Conner: I was just thinkin' about what went down on Apokolips during the war. Robin and I, well... We had words. Linda: I take it they weren't all nice ones. Conner: I said I don't trust him. Linda: Ouch. Conner: And ignored his orders. Linda: Double ouch. Conner: And implied he might be collecting files on us like Batman with the J.L.A. Linda: Mortal wound there, kid. Conner: Screwed up big time, didn't I? Linda: That's the problem with wartime, kid. For every person who covers himself with glory, there're a hundred guys who cover themselves-- and others-- with dirt. Conner: Or wounds. Like that one on your belly looks really nasty, you know? Linda: As okay as someone who nearly got herself disemboweled can be. Conner: Guess, in a way, me and Robin and the others were lucky, huh? Linda: In a way, yeah. On the other hand, some of the deepest wounds are the ones you can't see. Conner: *Sigh* You got that right. (Young Justice (1998) #38)

Once World Without Young Justice happens and Tim's name is out in the open, the big tension between them is gone and that really marks where I think they more mutually start seeing each other as best friends (but worth noting- Kon had called Tim his "ex-best friend" in Superboy #92 right after their fight on Apokolips- so as far as I can tell from what I've read, he thought of Tim as his best friend first- even in that era with their lack of trust)

Anyways, yes. So they are established best friends when we get to things like Graduation Day (where Kon drops his defensiveness as soon as he realizes how not okay Tim is during their scene in the closet together in #2)/the dissolving of Young Justice after Donna's death, and then the start of the Teen Titans run where they find out about the Lex thing together.

Now, to relate this back to the stuff with Cassie- finding out 'surprise! Lex Luthor is one of your clone parents' is a very different type of trauma than witnessing a death of a loved one, but Kon's reactions in these situations I think correlate, just matching what the trauma was. After witnessing Tana die in front of him and Cassie, he becomes overprotective of Cassie because he doesn't want something like that to happen to her too. After finding out this new traumatic thing about himself with Tim, he becomes pretty emotionally dependent on Tim because he's the only other person that knows/understands what's going on. It's Kon latching onto the other person who was present in a way that makes him feel better about what happened, and growing much closer to them in the process.

Kon's emotional dependency on Tim in this era I think is exemplified by the way he reacted to Tim quitting Robin & Steph stepping into the role- he's a jerk about it to Steph, and gets very upset about it around Tim.

Conner: So you approve of this new Robin? You want her to be in the Titans? Tim: I don't have anything to do with it. But she's a strong young woman. She really is. Conner: It's your ex-girlfriend, isn't it? Spoiler or whatever she used to call herself. Tim: Let it go. Conner: You're my best friend, Tim. How can I? The Titans aren't the Titans without Robin. They just aren't. Tim: Just because I'm not wearing a cape doesn't mean we can't hang. Conner: It won't be the same. I've heard that from too many friends I never talk to anymore. Jack: Tim, opening credits are rolling. Tim: Dad! Dad, this is-- Jack: What? Tim: ...Nothing. I'll be down in a minute. (Teen Titans Vol. 3 #14)

One little detail here that I know is just Johns not being aware of how things were actually going in the Robin book (something clear from this entire arc) but that always sticks out to me is Kon just jumping to assume Steph is Tim's ex when they hadn't actually had a proper breakup- absolutely not one that Tim could have told Kon about considering Tim & Steph were in fine standing before he quit Robin and he apparently hadn't communicated with Kon since that happened. Kon just really is placing his frustration on her, in a way that... I dunno. I think he'd be upset like this at anyone else aside from Tim being in the Robin costume, but the way he highlights who she is feels oddly targeted. Because he knows this new Robin has a personal connection to Tim too, it's like him going "You're my best friend and you're abandoning me, but because this girl is/was your girlfriend you're just gonna let it happen."

Obviously though, this situation gets resolved and Tim comes back into the Robin role, and their friendship picks back up (with Kon confidently saying "I knew it," when Tim calls to tell him he'd be coming back in Teen Titans #15). But they're still keeping this secret, and it's still this heavy thing weighing on Kon. Kon tries to be there for Tim when he's got bad things going on (Jack's death) but Tim has a much harder time letting himself depend on Kon. Also all the Titans Tomorrow shit happens, and everyone's gotta grapple with that possible future. Eventually we get to the "Do you think I have a soul?" conversation, where everyone on the team's bravery about coming forward with their secrets inspires Kon to finally do the same- before it all goes wrong. Lex takes over, Kon attacks the team, and is then plagued with guilt because he hurt the people he cares about.

And while he mentions everyone in his monologue bit after he'd quit the team and was hiding out in Smallville, we only see recaps of two, Tim and Cassie, as he talks about them: "I broke Tim... and I... I hurt Cassie... I hurt her." (in Teen Titans Vol. 3 #26). Plus during his whole mind/soul journey with Raven in the same issue, he again specifically highlights the two of them.

Being in any way responsible for harm coming to Cassie has been basically one of his biggest fears ever since what happened to Tana. And Tim is the person he's been relying on emotionally the most in recent times because of knowing about stuff with Luthor. So these two together are just this huge focus for him in terms of the guilt, they're grouped together in his mind, at this point they're his most important people. (and even after he dies and comes back, when he talks about this with Cassie later in Adventure Comics (2009) #2... he once again specifically brings up Tim and her separately while grouping everyone else together)

Now, shortly after this is when Infinite Crisis gets rolling, Superboy-Prime first attacks, all sorts of shit happens, Kon and Cassie fuck consummate their relationship in the barn before the final battle gets going- and then Kon dies in her arms after saving everyone. Tim gets there too late to say goodbye, we know the drill. Thus sparking the One Year Later era where we learn about Tim and Cassie both spectacularly failing to cope in even remotely healthy ways, etc etc. These are the things that you dig into for how Tim feels about Kon.

For the point of this post though, discussing how Kon feels about Tim, we've gotta fast forward to once he's back. Worth noting such things as 'all of the year after Infinite Crisis, the OYL era, most of Final Crisis, and everything in between' happens in that time he's gone, which causes a lot of change in both Cassie and Tim.

When Conner comes back, it's not like... everything just fits back into place exactly the same as it was before, for him it feels like he's been gone days but for them it's been well over a year (and a crazy eventful one at that). Cassie has become leader of the Titans, she's got responsibilities and is definitely a bit more hardened by the things she's lost, and getting people back doesn't just undo all the grief. Tim has gone off the deep end in ways because of just how many losses he experienced in such close succession (and while some people come back, they don't all for him), and is throwing himself into his search for Bruce. Meaning that neither of the two incredibly-important-to-Kon dynamics are what they used to be, and that forces him to approach things in a new way.

Alongside that he’s also back in full force dealing with the Lex/Clark angst. We find out about the lists he keeps comparing traits of each clone parent, and Cassie immediately catches onto the way he's trying hard to push himself into following Clark's path of life in Adventure Comics (2009) #2. Cassie tells Kon about the kiss that happened between her and Tim (while very specifically saying the reasoning behind it happening was her and Tim both missing him), and they reconcile their relationship but it's clear… things there are different now, because everyone and everything's changed, but that doesn't mean they should waste any of the time they have together.

And then the following issue is his first moment reconnecting with Tim. Where he sees how closed off and distant Tim’s being, how much he’s letting guilt destroy him, how much things aren’t the same between the two of them anymore… and Kon even says it’s freaking him out the way Tim’s acting. Eventually we get to the big moment, where Tim admits he tried to clone Conner.

Tim: My girlfriend died. My dad died. My best friend died. And I couldn't accept it. I couldn't lose you too. Conner: So what? Tim: I tried to clone you. Conner: Tim- Tim: But I failed. Like I failed everyone else. Conner: Tim, even if it'd worked, it wouldn't have been me. Tim: That's what Cassie said. And I know that. I know it wouldn't have been you, Conner, but... but it would've been something. Conner: Man, between everything you've gone through, Cassie's gone through, and Bart's gone through, I picked a really suck-ass year to be gone, didn't I? Tim: The worst. I am so screwed up right now. (Adventure Comics (2009) #3)

Even though I don’t think Tim was consciously aware of it, this moment was... Tim admitting the extent of his feelings for Conner in a subtle specific way that Conner would have been able to pick up on. I’ve gone into this in more detail here- but back when Tana had died in front of Conner and Cassie, Kon's immediate reaction was "No! There must be a way to save her... Bring her back... Clone her!" (in Superboy #74). To do the exact same thing Tim tried to do.

Back in Superboy #92, the instance where it really feels like Kon has feelings for Bart he just doesn't know how to grapple with, he phrases things like "Or some Freudian thing where I secretly think of Impulse as a chick-" in his head, and I feel like here in this instance he'd be having the reverse sort of thought- "Is this some thing where Tim secretly thinks of me like I thought of Tana?"

This is kinda the point where I start to see a... shift, in how Kon thinks about Tim- or rather it's that Kon is thinking more about what Tim thinks of him. (I'll get back to that idea later- but I want to cover some events of things that happen in chronological order.)

But even though Tim's not in a good place here clearly, once things are more out in the open Kon can see that even though they each are different and things maybe aren't the same anymore, much like how he and Cassie could reconcile- he and Tim can figure their stuff out too.

Presumably in-universe next the rest of Boy of Steel happens and Tim shows up again there with the whole core four reunited at the end as Kon throws his journal in the fire. Then we get into Blackest Night- where Kon has to face his own mortality in a complex way and Cassie's the one there to help him, strengthening their bond.

Over in Red Robin in the Collision arc Tim and Kon have their reuniting moment on much better terms once Tim has found proof about Bruce and everything- and we get the very well known hug scene, where Conner affirms to Tim that all he ever needs to do is yell for him and he'll be listening. A short while later now that Tim's not fully isolating himself he actually calls upon his friends to help with the Ra's stuff. Things are looking good with them again- but even so Tim's still not around full time.

In the Teen Titans book, around this time Conner and Bart officially rejoin the team, and there starts to be some tension between Conner and Cassie in a new way- where her feelings for Conner start seeming to get in the way of her being able to lead the team and make tough calls on the field, because she's too preoccupied worrying about him. Over in Conner's solo content he's also further trying to adjust to being back in Smallville, and doing some more reflection on his life and who he is- the stuff I was talking about over in parts of this post about these concepts of 'normality' and what that means for him. By the end he reaches a point of acceptance that he doesn't need to be 'normal', but while things are ongoing he's trying to figure out just... what it is he's really doing in Smallville, what life he wants to live.

And so this combination of things leads to Conner breaking up with Cassie

Conner: I meant what I said earlier. I'm not going anywhere. I'll always be a Titan and I'll always be here for you. But-- I think it would be best for both of us if we stopped seeing each other. Cassie: What? Conner: You want to focus on leading this team and me... Well I want to try having a life that isn't only about being Superboy, Isn't only about Wonder Girl. I want to have a life as Conner too. Something simpler. Normal. I need that right now. Cassie? I figure this was coming anyway. Thought I'd make it easier for both of us. Right? Cassie: Sure. Yeah. Conner: I still love you, Cassie. Cassie: I love you. (Teen Titans Vol. 3 #91)

So now Conner is in this place where he is single for the first time in a long time, and he's starting to do a lot of thinking and reflection on his life so far- figuring out who he is outside of just a superhero. The very next issue of Teen Titans is the crossover with Red Robin, and Conner is pushing hard the whole time on how happy he is to have Tim back around (and ultimately Tim does rejoin the team). This is also where we get this well known scene between the two of them:

Damian: Here's another one for you, clone boy. Conner: Seriously-- how do you put up with that little snot? Tim: I don't. I try to limit my contact with Robin as much as possible these days. Conner: Wish I could do the same. Still refuse to call him by your name. I don't care what costume you or him wears. As far as I'm concerned, you're my Robin, always will be. Tim: And you'll always be my clone boy. Conner: On second thought, maybe we should trade both of you in for Batgirl. I hear she's good. (Teen Titans Vol. 3 #92)

Where Conner is acting similarly in a way to how he did back when Stephanie was the one in the Robin costume- refusing to really even acknowledge anyone else in the role because to him that should be Tim. One thing I do also notice here is that... Conner says this sweet thing to Tim, which probably comes off a little more intense than he was intending it to (the 'my Robin' phrasing), but when Tim throws something similar back at him in a teasing tone (by taking Damian's insult and making it a term of endearment) Kon immediately redirects the subject with a joke... which makes me think back to Superboy #92 where Kon writes everything off he's maybe feeling about Bart as a joke. Kinda like he went "Woah- that interaction was very tender there for a second, and I don't know how to deal with that besides making a joke," ya know?

Especially if we consider the earlier notion I presented of 'he's thinking a lot more about what Tim thinks of him' and that being something he's just not sure how to approach or think too deeply about (like to question why he's now grown this concerned with Tim's opinion on him), so him switching gears quickly to keep avoiding it... checks out! Conner's not in a place to approach any of that sort of thing yet, he's still figuring out his basic place in the world.

Which brings us to one of my favorite more overlooked moments of Tim & Kon together, from Superboy Vol. 5 #6, where they talk on the Titans Tower rooftop at 5am about their places in the world, Conner being unsure if Smallville's really the right place for him- or rather how much longer Smallville will be the right fit. It's also showing Tim and Conner having their... their trust and dynamic back, now, even after everything that's happened.

The following issue though is the reason I keep harping on this concept of "Conner is thinking a lot about what Tim thinks of him," because Superboy Vol. 5 #7 is where Conner gets affected by a Red Mercy, an alien plant that causes the person it latches onto to experience their worst nightmares come true (the exact opposite of the Black Mercy- a plant that causes the person affected to experience their dreams come true, from the famous Superman story 'For The Man Who Has Everything'). Within this nightmare world, Kon discovers he had betrayed everyone and was embracing his Luthor side, he had done something to (presumably killed) Cassie, had killed Bruce and many others... and Tim is leading a resistance against him, with a mission to kill him. When the nightmare progresses, another thing happens right in front of Kon: Tim is shot and killed.

Which means that among the fears we already knew about, like being turned into Luthor's monster... some of Kon's other worst nightmares/greatest fears are the concept of Tim hating him and the thought of seeing Tim die. These are things they specifically devoted page space to, out of all the possible fallout that could have come from Conner switching sides (even Cassie who has been consistently shown as one of the most important people to him doesn't show up here, we're just told he did something to her).

Conner: Tim? Why are you dressed like that? What's going on? Please... just stop for a minute so we can figure this all out. Tim: You had your chance to talk. You had your chance to stop this. And every time, you deceived us... betrayed us. You destroyed everyone we care about... you destroyed this entire town. No more talking... Elongated Lass, hold him. Hawklad, Negative Boy... kill him. Conner: This is insane! Something's wrong Tim... This can't be real! I don't remember Anything! Tim: Take him down! Hawklad: What's the matter, Kent, suddenly growing a conscience? Or are you just mad that you're finally the one being hunted?! Conner: [I need to find Psionic Lad. I was with him... maybe he can help... If he's even still alive.]

Conner: I... I don't want to hurt you guys. Just stop so we can figure this out! Tim: Don't listen to him! Everything he says is a lie! I bet you think you're just going to tear through us like you did the others, don't you? Conner: Tim, I don't-- Tim: Well I've got a surprise for you, Conner... A unique cocktail of the Bane Venom and Hourman's Miraclo formula is coursing through me. Bruce managed to synthesize it before he died. Before you killed him! Conner: Tim... Don't... Tim: "Don't"? "Don't"?! After everything you've done? After what you did to Cassie? Conner: C-Cassie?

Conner: Tim! Tim: Arrgh! Conner: No! Simon: Don't worry, Conner... I'm on it. Conner: Simon?! Negative Boy: I'm gonna kill you Valentine!!! Simon: Whatever, freak. (Superboy Vol. 5 #7)

I think it was worth noting that Kon's scream of Tim name as he was killed was... literally put in a different color for emphasis. This was also the case with the other person we see killed during this whole nightmare dream thing a little later: Lori, Kon's kinda cousin on the Luthor side. Aside from those two the other person who nearly gets hurt/killed is Ma while Luthor tries to manipulate Kon into doing it. So the bonds that we see as most important to him here, the ones he's at this point most afraid of losing/fucking up... are his family, and Tim.

So... yeah, Tim and Tim's opinion of Kon is very clearly prominent in his mind at this point if an evil space plant so strongly latched onto that as a piece of all this! Whether that's something Conner's choosing to acknowledge/analyze or not, it's there. To me the place it makes sense for that to have started being something on Kon's mind is back where I first brought this idea up- Adventure Comics #3 when Kon may have been comparing Tim's reaction to his death with Kon's own reaction to Tana's. I can just see that as... sparking a train of thought that just kinda keeps going even if he's trying to ignore it. And once Conner and Cassie cut things off, while she's still obviously important to him, she apparently doesn't reach the level of importance in his subconscious that she'd physically show up in this sort of thing while Tim does.

Anyways, since this places us really close to the end of the pre-reboot world, there's really not that much more with the two of them together afterwards, just a few interactions over in Teen Titans like Tim trying to reaffirm Kon how he can as they're stuck going against some clones of him at the end:

Conner: Look at him, Tim. Looks just like I did. Tim: They're not you, Conner. Conner: Aren't they? Didn't I start out the same way? A blank slate? Tim: It's not who you were, it's who you are. You have a life, and friends, and a family. Conner: Good point. I have a lot. And I aim to keep it that way. (Teen Titans Vol. 3 #100)

And then I mean, reboots happen, Kon's gone for a hot sec, and now he's back since Young Justice 2019. Conner's one of the only people who for sure remembers all this above stuff I just mentioned, his memories of the pre-Flashpoint world are untouched because he was absent for the reboots. Meaning even as Tim's feelings and memories have changed and been taken away and restored... Kon's have been exactly how they were, just with the added layer of "Kon has missed everyone while he was stuck on Gemworld." Since coming back there wasn't all that much focus on just the two of them from Kon's side, until the little bit we got in Urban Legends actually:

Conner: You know, I think I heard from you more when I was dead. Tim: Superboy? Stephanie called you, didn't she? Conner: She's worried. Thinks you're acting weird. I told her it must be a day ending in Y. Tim: You wouldn't call if you weren't worried, too. Conner: What's going on, Tim? Who's Bernard? Tim: He's a... friend. He's in trouble. Conner: Can I help? What do you need? Tim: ...I don't know, Conner. (Batman: Urban Legends #5)

This interaction as a whole just fascinates me, and Fitzmartin's choice to include it in Tim's coming out story in general. Conner's line about when he was dead just... to me that has read since this dropped as "I know you were so desperate to have me around when I was dead that you tried to clone me, but now that i'm here again you're barely talking to me." Which... lots to unpack there combined with all the questions and Kon's clear concern... especially if we consider the 'saying you tried to clone me was kinda like an informal confession of feelings' idea as something in the back of Conner's mind. With him now seeming... kinda frustrated/concerned that Tim's not paying even close to that kind of attention to him anymore. Him asking about Bernard like this and getting such vague answers from Tim (as Tim's being in general cagey and avoidant) also just makes me really curious about how Kon will like, respond to finding out Bernard is now Tim's boyfriend, I can just see so many different ways it could go.

But anyways, basically.... my ultimate point in all of this is less to say there's a definitive "Yes, Kon is 100% clearly in love with Tim" indication, but more to point out "There's a framework here to support the idea of Kon having thoughts/feelings for Tim comparable to those he's had for love interests in the past," if that... ah... makes sense?

Anyways if you read all of this- I hope it even remotely made sense!

#okay i can't reread and edit this anymore my brain will melt #u wanted thousands of words of me talking abt timkon? u got it #sam explains

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thedamageofherdays · 3 years

Text

This week's [23-08-2021 - 29-08-2021] reading log is here! I read a lot again this week and I feel like it's a lovely variety of fics. Most fics are Stucky like usual, but there's at least one other ship. I am constantly amazed by the talent people have in this fandom! There was one fic I read on Tumblr that I can't seem to find unfortunately, but when I do I'll make sure to reblog and rec it 💕

Favourites are marked with a 🌻

When life gives you lemons by moonthejedi394 @moonythejedi394 [Stucky, 40k words, Mature] (12/15 chapters available)

Or 13 Terrible Things to Do With Lemons Other Than Making Lemonade

Steve Rogers is a home health nurse. He works for an agency, which assigned him to the aging Winifred Barnes, the one and only Silent Era Hollywood darling. As her needs increased, she requested the agency assign Steve to her full-time. She could pay for it, so she got it. Steve then moved in with her, becoming her caregiver; he cooked, he cleaned, he managed her medications, he made sure she was comfortable.

Winifred's children treated him less than ideally. He was the help, after all. And then Steve had the audacity to go and turn out to be eldest son James Barnes's soulmate. No one saw that coming.

The Masseur and the Assassin by buckybarnesdeservestobehappy @buckybarnesdeservestobehappy [Stucky, 17k words, Explicit]

Bucky Barnes needed a vacation from his job. What he found was a happy ending.

The Words Breathe by buckbarnesdeservestobehappy [Stucky, 1k words, Mature]

All Steve has to do is keep his promise. When he doesn’t, Bucky gets mouthy.

Soft by this_wayward_life @wayward-lives [Stucky, 2k words, Explicit]

The last time he'd seen Bucky he'd looked unhealthy, with pallid skin and greasy, lanky hair. Now, Bucky shone; his hair was thick and silky, his skin a deep bronze from spending so much time outside. He was softer, too; the hard muscle that used to cover him was now replaced by soft fat, his body still strong, but in a more mundane way. His thighs were thicker, his ass plumper, and when he'd pulled Steve into the river Steve had noticed the pudge on his stomach.

Seeing Bucky so happy, well-fed and shining, was a bit of a kick in the face. For all the years they'd known each other, he'd never seen Bucky so... care-free. Now that Bucky was putting on weight, his middle soft and his body malleable, it sent a bolt of arousal through Steve every time he noticed the curves of Bucky's body.

Or: Bucky put on a bit of weight in Wakanda, and Steve is Not Coping.

🌻 Revive Another Side of Me by dontcallmebree @iamthe-wo-manwhocan [Stucky, 1k words, Mature]

Steve’s never lived in a world without Bucky, and he’s not living now. It takes them a while, much too long, to get that awaited rest, a little slice of peace after the dust has settled.Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes are inseparable, history remembers. But they’re not men of the past quite yet.

🌻 imagine being loved by me by spacebuck @spacebuck [Stucky, 20k words, Explicit]

Just after 1am - a few hours after he posted today’s photo - he hears the tell-tale sound of a twitter message. Bucky grabs his phone, not checking who it’s from as he opens it because it’s probably one of his mutuals yelling at him as per usual. When he actually looks at his phone, though, it’s not Natasha

The ‘verified’ check stares back at him for a long moment before he can even bring himself to process the name on his screen. Steve Rogers is messaging him. Or, he reasons, a very good fake. The handle looks right though, not that Bucky knows. Not that Bucky has Captain’s America’s tweets set up as notifications, or that Bucky’s own display name is set to captain america’s bitch. Not at all.

Hey, the first message says. It’s Steve.

🌻 JB’s Complete Lube Services by dixons_mama @dixons-mama [Stucky, 3k words, Explicit]

People just didn’t approach Captain America and proposition him. Although, sometimes Steve wished they would; even the pinnacle of virtue and justice needed to get dicked down from time to time.

Or, the one where Steve has the hots for a mechanic and decides to be proactive in getting that dick.

If it had to be someone by rainbow_nerds [Stucky, 1k words, Mature]

Bucky had known since he was a child that he didn’t have a choice in who he married, but he’d thought he had more time before the day arrived.

Miscalculations by christywantspizza @christywantspizza [Ransom Drysdale/Reader, 6k words, Explicit]

Ransom tries to get you to sleep with him by less than honorable means. You give him what he wants, just not how he wants it.

How to Seduce a Writer by obsessivereader [Stucky, 2k words, Teen]

What's a determined master strategist going to do when the oblivious writer he's trying to woo keeps missing all the clues?

He doesn’t think it’s because he hadn’t signaled his own interest to Bucky. He’s pretty much done everything short of hitting Bucky over the head with semaphore flags by this point. There’s no way Bucky could’ve missed them. Unless… There’d been that one link he’d stumbled upon when he’d googled ‘how to talk to a writer’. It’d been written by a writer, who’d been candid about how oblivious writers could be, and how someone could go about seducing one. An idea starts to form. It’s ridiculous, but at this point, he’s willing to go with ridiculous, since subtle wasn’t getting him anywhere.

🌻 Pod Bless America by Deisderium @deisderium [Stucky, 6k words, Teen]

Bucky can't believe his favorite podficcer recorded his newest fanfic AU of the show Commandos. He's even more surprised when the customer who busts him listening to fic while he's working in the office supply store turns out to be that podficcer.

* The guy—maybe bi_shield?—took his phone, looked down at the screen, and smiled. "Yeah, that one's mine," he said with no evidence of embarrassment. "It was a good one." He handed the phone back to Bucky.

"I wrote it," Bucky croaked.

take a bite by wearing_tearing [Stucky, 7k words, Mature]

"I’d never let anyone freeze to death.” Steve gives a big sigh and flutters his lashes. “All that blood gone to waste.”

Bucky’s lips turn down and his nose scrunches up a little. “I want to be grossed out, but…”

“But you get it.” Steve gives him a pointed look. “Vampires aren’t the only ones who can appreciate how juicy blood is.”

Or: Vampire Steve saves newly-turned werewolf Bucky from a snowstorm.

Leaving the Shield Behind by BuckyAboveEverything [Stucky, 6k words, Teen]

“So, on one hand, we have Steve Rogers - hunk, genius, animal lover. Buys you waffles and overpriced coffee. 100% wholesome all-American boy.”

“And, on the other hand, we have Capsicle – twink, smart-ass, fanboy. Reads your stories and sends you fanart. Possibly a pervert or a serial killer.”

Bucky groaned.

“I am 100% certain I am 0% sure of what to do."

Bucky Barnes, full-time copywriter and free-time fanfic writer, struggles to choose between two equally-attractive suitors, only to find that he doesn’t have to after all.

* Based on a true story *

Cap's Book Corner by Neche [Stucky, 2k words, Teen]

Recluse Author Bucky Barns stumbles into fanboy Steve Rogers bookstore one day...

Cat Nap by galwednesday @galwednesday [Stucky, 8k words, Teen]

Objectively, losing the Bucharest safehouse and its contents was the least of Bucky’s problems. The balding agent he’d seen directing the raid was apparently affiliated with SHIELD, which was a shadowy government agency that made representatives from other shadowy government agencies suddenly remember urgent appointments when Bucky tried to bribe, threaten, and otherwise shake them down for information on what the hell SHIELD might want with a former brainwashed assassin. Dodging SHIELD should be his number one priority.

Subjectively, he wanted his fucking cat back.

at any given moment by honeypuffed [Stucky, 1k words, Teen]

Steve and Bucky find out that everyone thinks they're sleeping together.

Brought to Brightness by eyres [Stucky, 10k words, Teen]

Army veteran Bucky Barnes has fallen in love with Steve, a guy he met online a few months after he returned from Afghanistan. Only problem is, he doesn't know Steve's last name or even what he looks like.

When his sister helps him send his story into MTV's Catfish, he's hoping they can help him meet Steve or, at least, let him move on with his life if Steve isn't real. Little does he know, Steve and Captain America have more in common than just a first name.

🌻 Nokken Wood by leveragehunters @leveragehunters [Stucky, 10k words, Teen]

When Sam's friend needs a house-sitter for his place in the country, Steve jumps at the chance. Six months rent-free to do nothing but draw and paint and wander the countryside, looking for inspiration? It was like a dream. But when he gets lost in a storm and nearly falls into a pond he starts to rethink the whole like a dream aspect of life in the country. And when a red-eyed, sharp-clawed, silver-fanged creature rises out of the darkness, Steve is one hundred percent certain the dream's morphed into a nightmare.

...until it gives him a cup of tea.

(Inspired partly by this prompt a supernatural creature is supposed to scare you but instead it gives you a cup of tea and a blanket because you're having a bad day and you keep coming back and partly by this painting.)

Professional Pride by galwednesday [Stucky, 700 words, Teen]

Bucky is having a very good day, until he turns around and finds himself face-to-face with Captain America.

“Oh shit,” he blurts before he can stop himself, and Captain America blinks at him. “Hey, hi, I didn’t expect to see you here.” Here, at New York’s Pride parade, surrounded by thousands of happy screaming people wearing rainbows and sometimes not much else. What is he doing here? Is he on guard duty or something? Was he just on a mission and happened to be passing by on his way back?

He’s in uniform but with the cowl loose around his neck, so when he rubs the back of his head it fluffs up his matted hair. “I, uh. I saw one of your–temporary tattoos?” Captain fucking America says, like it’s a question.

The A-bridged Guide to Trolling by galwednesday [Stucky, 1k words, Teen]

“I don’t have any money.”

Oh no, now the girl looked upset. Her eyes were huge and her lip was wobbling. Bucky tried to think fast despite the oh shit oh shit oh shit looping through his head.

“That’s okay,” Bucky said gently. “I don’t need money. We can figure out another kind of toll.”

The girl frowned at him. “Like what?”

Bucky scratched his head, trying to think of something a kid was certain to have on hand. “Do you know any jokes?”

(Fantasy AU in which Steve is a hedge witch with a green thumb, Bucky is a bridge troll who's new in town, and knock-knock jokes are a viable form of currency.)

It's a bittersweet ending (if you know what I mean) by relenafanel [Stucky, 1k words, Teen]

“I’ll see you around, Steve,” Bucky answers with a smirk, moving away from the counter with a wink.

Steve watches him go. Bucky’s wearing a pair of skinny jeans coated in something to give the appearance of leather. It’s impossible to not watch him go.

stuck on you by wearing_tearing [Stucky, 5k words, Teen]

“Bucky? You don’t look so hot.”

Bucky makes a tiny little sound in the back of his throat, only to start coughing. Of course he doesn’t look hot. He’s sick and he’s dying and Steve obviously isn’t attracted to him.

Decision-Making in Relationships (Paid Research Opportunity!) by castiowl [Stucky, 8k words, Teen]

Clint looked thoughtfully at the flyer. “I guess your actual roommate wouldn’t be down with it?”

Bucky frowned. “Have you met Steve Rogers?”

no way out but through by hollimichele [Stucky, 9k words, Teen]

Steve never sees it coming.

you got blood on your hands (and i know it's mine) by nighimpossible [Stucky, 3k words, Teen]

Bucky refuses to see Steve after his deprogramming.

Like What You See by daisymondays [Stucky, 8k words, Teen]

For all the time Bucky’s spent fantasizing about meeting Captain America, he’d never imagined it would be while posing nude in front of a drawing class.

🌻 A Real Boy by itsnotbleak [Stucky, 5k words, Teen]

It took the Winter Soldier three weeks to remember that human beings needed to sleep and eat.

It took Steve far too long to realise the Winter Soldier was sleeping in his bed.

Amapola by chaya [Stucky, 830 words, Teen]

Total fluff. Bucky's recovering nicely. Steve's oblivious. Sometimes it's best to set aside subtlety for action.

Knocking Boots With Sugar by buckybarnesdeservestobehappy [Stucky, 4k words, Explicit]

In between summers at college, Steve Rogers wants a new adventure beyond his lonely life in Brooklyn. He ends up in West Texas working on a dude ranch where Bucky Barnes is a long-time employee. When Bucky offers to buy Steve a drink, they end up drunk on tequila and making out in public. For the rest of the summer, they're inseparable. As the summer draws to a close, Steve realizes he doesn't want to leave.

Rogers and Associate by roe87 @jro616 [Stucky, 7k words, Teen]

When they first meet, Bucky is a hooker and Steve is a cop. She's been arrested, but Steve lets her off.

Years pass and they maintain a casual friendship, seeing each other out on the streets most nights.

Though he later makes detective, Steve loses faith in the system and quits his job.

He wants to set up as a private investigator, and he asks Bucky if she'd be his assistant.

Just in time by rainbow_nerds [Stucky, 1k words, Mature]

Bucky knew the apartment he was renting was old fashioned, but walking in the front door and finding himself transported back to 1938 was not on the list of things he had prepared himself for.

🌻 You Like What's in My Head by dontcallmebree [Stucky, 15k words, Explicit] (with art by @kocuria)

Bucky can’t decide if Steve’s a tough nut to crack or incredibly easy. The timbre of his voice, a low and almost amused, “Sure, kid,” when Bucky asks for a drink feels like something gripping him on the back of his neck.

He thinks this might be one of those moments in life he’ll pinpoint in the future and either curse at for dooming himself, or remember fondly with pride.

He’s right. Bucky Barnes blunders through falling in love with Commander Rogers and tries to find a deeper meaning behind the expensive gifts and thorough fucking.

Can I Sit Here? by BuckyFrickenBarnes [Stucky, 962 words, General]

Bucky has unusual methods for getting rid of his writer's block.

Or, Bucky needs that table.

Workplace Romance by BuckyFricken Barnes [Stucky, 1k words, General]

Bucky is under the impression that his boss hates him.

Or,

Steve needs to get better at dealing with his feelings.

🌻 1-800-MAYTAG by Miss Plum @misspluckyplum [Stucky, 1k words, Explicit]

Bucky just wants to get some housework done. It gets out of hand fast. Silly little fluff and smut romp with snarky stucky boys.

Eyes of the Forest by Lordelannette [Stucky, 7k words, Explicit] (2/8 chapters available)

When Omega Bucky Barnes comes to Eagle Lake, it was in search of wolves, a creature that had not been seen in the area for decades.

What he finds instead is Steve Rogers, a handsome, though quiet Alpha who seems to be everywhere in the forest.

#r's reading log #my reading log #fic rec #stucky #stucky fic rec #fic recs #stevebucky #long post

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sometimesiwrite · 3 years

Text

The Way It Is

Prompt: Fake Dating

Pairing: Lambert & Essi Other Characters: Julian (Jaskier), Eskel/Geralt

Rating: Teen Content Warnings: No Archive Warnings; platonic/queerplatonic dynamics; pressure to engage sexually; coarse language; alcohol/intoxication; modern AU.

Summary: When Essi and Lambert are setup on a blind date, they don’t expect to get along as well as they do. However, when they decide to keep their relationship platonic and non-romantic, they realize they might face some uncomfortable pressure. For the sake of simplicity, they decide to tell people they’re dating, but is it sustainable?

@witcher-rarepair-summer-bingo

Essi fidgeted with the bent corner of her cafe menu, looking around at the various styles of local artworks hanging on the walls. She was early by about ten minutes, but that didn’t stop her from checking the pearlescent dial of her watch every thirty seconds. Finally, the bell above the door tinkled and a man walked in. Essi could tell from the way he was looking around that he was there to meet someone—her. The only other people sitting alone in the cafe were working on laptops and tablets; no one else waiting for a date. And this man was most certainly looking for one.

He was handsome in a ruffled sort of way, though he’d clearly put in a bit of effort. His black casual dress shirt and slim light-wash jeans fit his lean frame impeccably, and a subtle quantity of mousse was clearly doing its best to tame his short, scruffy brown hair. Even his bristly beard appeared to have been trimmed recently. Though there was nothing particularly remarkable about his clothing, there was something striking about the way he carried himself, a devil-may-care sort of presence that Essi appreciated. For a blind date, she thought, it certainly could be worse. Allegedly, they knew each other, at least based on his abruptly out-of-the-blue text, and the closer she looked, the more her memory of him crystalized.

A loud ping! emitted from Essi’s phone and the man looked up from his own cellular device, clearly having just texted.

“Uh, Essi? Essi Daven, right?” He took a step towards her and leaned in, pointing to his phone screen.

“Yes,” Essi stood to shake his hand, “hi.”

“Nice to see you again. Lambert.”

They sat down awkwardly, both struggling to find the will for smalltalk.

“So…” Lambert had become keenly interested in a black-and-white digital photograph behind Essi’s shoulder.

“Listen,” Essi could feel the words start to tumble out of her mouth, and it was too late to do anything about it. Lambert raised an eyebrow, “I don’t really know how to say this, so I’m just going to be honest and probably regret it later: I don’t really do this. Dating. I find it strange and uncomfortable and if I’m perfectly honest I think I’d rather die.” She didn’t cringe apologetically, which would have been the expected behaviour to accompany an outpouring of disinterest. Instead she stared at him, wide-eyed, lips slightly pursed as a muscle in her neck twitched, waiting for his response.

Lambert laughed. Genuinely laughed—a joyful release of tension and dread, “Oh, thank Fuck!” Essi blinked in pleasant surprise and watched as Lambert began to relax.

“Excuse me?” Her startlingly blue eyes widened in amusement.

“No, no, I just mean—I would absolutely and one-hundred percent, without a doubt, rather die in a hole than date,” Lambert slotted the edge of the menu under his fingernails and let his eyes wander a little more freely around the cafe.

“So then… why?”

Hm. Direct, frank, amusing lack of filter… the memories were starting to come back from what limited, heavily inebriated, time they’d spent together.

There was something about the straightforwardness of this endearingly odd woman that made Lambert feel infinitely more comfortable. Usually, any kind of interaction with the potential of building mutual interest made him feel like he was playing a game he didn’t know the rules to. The signals, the code words that never meant what they said: having sex on the first date means you’re a slut; not having sex on the third date means you’re a prude; grabbing coffee means this; having dinner means that; if they your arm but don’t invite you up, it means that they’re actually a KGB operative and need to give you the launch codes for a super secret missile...

Fuck that, we have words for a reason. Say what you mean and don’t waste my time. For that reason alone, Essi was already scoring quite well in Lambert’s books.

He shrugged, “You somehow remembered me from the KM Christmas party almost six months ago, and still asked for my number. I figure that at least deserves a coffee and a conversation.”

Essi was bewildered, “I didn’t ask for your number, you texted me.”

Lambert shook his head, “Impossible. No offense, but I absolutely guarantee you I did not.” He produced their short text exchange and scrolled to the top of their conversation:

Hi, is this Lambert? From the KM Christmas party?

You might not remember me, we got talking about

the political situation in Kashmir after about…

Too many drinks. Eeep!

Anyway, I’d love to get a coffee sometime, if

you’re interested.

Sorry, this is Essi Daven.

You called me Goldilocks at one point and

seemed amused XD

Hope you’re well!

Essi snatched Lambert’s phone, shocked and slightly outraged as she reached for her own device, opening her thread with Lambert. The text at the top was not from her, but from the man across from her:

Yeah, hi, this is

Lambert-from-the-KM-Christmas-party.

As it happens, I remember you and our

conversation quite well. Not many folks

happily get into drunken political discussions

You know what, I wouldn’t mind grabbing a

coffee.

Let me know if you’re free in the next couple

weeks!

Lambert gestured emphatically at Essi’s phone screen, “In what world is this an acceptable way to ask someone out?! I wouldn’t have said yes to that!”

“I don’t know,” Essi fired back, “It was straightforward! I found it charming, okay? Is that a crime?”

“No, but I have some serious concerns about your taste in men.”

“Like you’re in such a fine position to judge after the hollow, paltry invitation you accepted—which I absolutely did not write, by the way. I want to make that perfectly clear.”

“Alright, alright, cool your jets, we’ve got bigger fish to fry.” Lambert narrowed his eyes as he passed Essi’s phone back to her, “You didn't fire the first shot, so who texted me from your phone and cleared the history?”

Essi nibbled the inside of her cheek, “I can think of a few.”

“Okay, next question,” Lambert pocketed his phone, “who added you to my contacts before you texted. Because we did not exchange numbers six months ago, but your name was already there when I received it.”

Essi shrugged, “Who has access to your phone?”

“I dunno. Really just Eskel and Geralt and neither of them would—”

“Geralt.”

“Why him?”

Essi’s bright blue eyes turned steely and murderous, “Julian… They’re working together.”

“Wait, wait, wait. Are you telling me that Geralt the-last-thing-I-need Rivia and Julian Alfred these-aren't-my-pants Pankratz think we're so helplessly undateable that they decided to secretly set us up?”

“Eskel doesn’t know me that well; he wouldn’t try to set you up with someone he hadn’t vetted. Who did you talk to first when you got that text from me?”

Lambert’s eyes widened, “Holy shit, they’re working together.”

Essi nodded, a flood of embarrassment warming her cheeks. “Sorry to waste your time. You’re very nice but, um, I should just…” she got up to leave.

“Wh-hey, hold up. I mean, if you wanna go, go, that's fine, but there's something you might want to know first.”

Essi tossed her yellow bangs out of her eyes, “Oh? What's that?”

“This,” Lambert produced an Amex credit card from his breast pocket, “is Geralt's.” The cheeky glint in his eyes was a very convincing argument.

“Fine then. Coffee and a conversation.”

The coffee was hot and decent, and the conversation meandered through the usual topics of music, movies, and television, but also dipped into deeper waters as they grew more comfortable with each other’s company. Of course, it didn’t hurt that neither of them had any stakes in the outcome of this “date”. It made it easier to be frank and open, which in turn led to them quickly enjoying their time together. So much so that coffee turned into lunch, which turned into a long walk in the pleasant weather, which finally landed them outside Essi’s apartment, just around dinner time.

“I have to say, this was actually a pleasant encounter,” she said, turning to face him with a characteristic toss of her bangs.

“Yeah, who’d’ve thought two people forced together by meddling friends would actually find it enjoyable?”

“In light of that,” Essi squared her shoulders and found Lambert’s hazel-brown eyes, “I think it’s fair to say I want to see you again.”

He cringed regretfully and scratched the back of his head, “Ahh, yeah, so… I don’t know if that’s really--”

“Oh, relax,” Essi smirked with a casual touch to Lambert’s forearm. “I don't mean like that. I just mean--you're interesting and fun and, well I don't have many close friends and I feel like we connected well today.”

“Well…”

“I'll make it even simpler: I absolutely, one-hundred percent, am not interested in dating you.”

“Easy there, you know I love it when people get all straightforward with me.”

“I mean it, I just want to be friends,” she toyed back, trying her best to look sultry. It kind of worked.

Lambert bit his lower lip in mock arousal, “Mmm, oh yeah...”

She swayed her shoulders forward and back, doing her best to emulate the seductive actresses and models of the 1950s, “I want to Netflix and chill with a documentary about Soviet propaganda.”

Her last comment prompted a playfully stern look from her companion, “Careful now, you’re wading into actual turn-on territory.”

“You're such a weirdo,” Essi chuckled, giving him an endeared shove. “Seriously, though, would you like to do this again? Friends?”

He nodded sincerely, “Yeah, I think I'd really like that. Just one problem, though.”

“If we claim not to be interested in each other but keep hanging out we’ll never hear the end of it?”

“Bingo.”

Essi hummed thoughtfully and nibbled the inside of her bottom lip, “Well… we could always… pretend?”

***

“Sounds like you two are hitting it off. I’m glad. I know Essi’s been feeling a little isolated between work and being new to the city.” Geralt closed the fridge with his foot and headed towards the sofa, popcorn in one hand, three beers in the other. “I’ll take my card back, by the way.”

Lambert reluctantly handed the Amex back in exchange for a beer and perched on the arm of the sofa. “She’s really something. We’re, uh—yeah, hitting it off is a good word.”

And hitting it off, they were. The last ten days since their first “date” had been more enjoyable than all the dates he’d had in the last year combined. Essi was a fantastic companion: sharp, witty, kind, took no bullshit… They had done absolutely nothing but hang out, and no one had pried them for many details about the nature of their relationship. As far as their friend group was concerned, they were simply dating in the way that most adults dated. This also meant more time to themselves without unwanted interruptions (namely Julian barging in with his spare key to gossip about whatever fires were currently alight on twitter). The first night Lambert had been over, it took Julian all of five minutes to “grab something from the fridge” before parting with a knowing wink.

To her credit and imagination, Essi had expertly fielded her cousin’s initial barrage of questions when she first announced their “involvement.” It wasn’t that she didn’t like her cousin, Essi adored Julian, but she was also the first to admit that the man had no boundaries. What he lacked in that arena, he certainly made up for with opinions, which he was always more than happy to bestow on his younger cousin—usually dating advice, almost always unsolicited. Lambert had a much easier time convincing his side that he and Essi were taking it easy to see where things went. Between Eskel being a consummate gentleman and Geralt having his own Delicate Sensibilities, neither of them had demanded any details.

“As long as you’re both happy and everything’s healthy, that’s all that matters,” Geralt’s partner reiterated, reaching into the bowl on Geralt’s lap.

“Jesus, Eskel, you sound like my Nonna.”

“That's no way to talk to your father,” Geralt smirked into his hand of popcorn

“You're no better,” Lambert took a swig from his beer, lips popping as he lowered the bottle. “I swear, you've turned into a couple of mother hens since you two got together. Quit fussing and watch the game.”

Geralt put his arm around Eskel’s shoulders, “We have gotten a little soft haven’t we?”

Eskel huffed out a laugh, “Probably. Hey, Lambert, don't fuck it up or I'll kick your ass into next week.”

“Thank you. See? Was that so hard?”

“Eh,” Eskel shrugged, helping himself to another handful of popcorn, “I stand by my original statement. Geralt agrees.”

“It's true,” he said between mouthfuls. “Essi’s a good woman. Smart, talented, kind, attractive.”

Eskel cleared his throat.

“Eskel, she is, it's just a statement of fact it doesn't mean that she doesn’t have other…”

“I know it doesn't but I still think you could bear to be a little more…”

“Funny thing,” Lambert interrupted, “I still can’t figure out how this smart, talented, kind, attractive woman’s number programmed itself into my phone. Because I may have been drunk the night we first met, but I have never in my life forgotten a successful number grab. Fess up, fellas. Who was it?”

Eskel’s eyes widened, “Geralt, you didn’t.”

“I… may have… helped Julian gain access to Lambert’s phone.”

“Unbelievable. The betrayal,” Lambert shook his head, eyes still on the game. “If only there was some way to square things up…”

“You charged everything to my company card, didn’t you?”

“First two dates and a fresh pair of pants. Thanks, bud.” Geralt accepted a pat on the back as Eskel began gently but sternly berating him.

Lambert shook his head, smirking as he took another swig of beer, leaving the two lovebirds to bicker amongst themselves. His hip pocket buzzed and he checked his phone: Essi.

Next Wednesday? Pizza and a movie? Still can't believe you haven't seen Ocean’s Eleven.

Yeah, okay, fine. Jeez :P 7:30 my place? I'll provide beverages.

If by ‘beverages’ you mean watery beer…

Fuck off, I'll get the good stuff. Unless you prefer Arbor Mist or some shit.

*gasps* I am offended! (but also it's delicious)

*sigh* do you want me to get you some?

*turtles into hoodie* ...peach or cherry pls?

Haha okay, fine, I'll get a bottle. Can't promise I won't judge you forever, though ;)

It's okay, I deserve it. g2g, see you tomorrow! xox

***

Lambert groaned contentedly, massaging his stomach as he sprawled back on his aging brown sofa, long legs resting habitually on the coffee table. The now-empty pizza box lay abandoned on the far edge, accompanied by four empty beer bottles, and a nearly-empty, unfavourably warm Peach Arbor Mist. The toilet flushed and Essi emerged. Her dark gold hair had long ago been pulled into a messy bun, but her indigo skinny jeans had been replaced by soft-looking grey leggings.

Lambert shook his head in amusement as she settled back next to him on the couch, "I still can't believe you brought your own lounge pants"

"That's because I'm a genius," she quipped, crossing her legs and adjusting the height of her waistband. "Besides, when else will I have the opportunity to actually be comfortable during a date?"

"You took your bra off, too, didn't you?" Lambert asked without missing a beat, eyes never leaving the screen.

"Yup!" Essi confirmed, her sparkling blue eyes glinting with joy as she raised her glass to her lips.

The movie continued as the new friends settled into comfortable silence, their food-drowsy, alcohol-fuzzy states lulling them into a new level of comfortability around each other. Legs fell asleep, positions were adjusted, and shoulders leaned on as the two sought maximum comfort for minimum effort. Soon, an arm was around Essi's shoulder as she settled her cheek on a comfortable spot on Lambert's chest.

"You good?" Lambert asked, only half-irritated at her seemingly endless search for the perfect angle.

"I'm sorry, I thought I'd found a good spot, but..." A few more adjustments of her head and Lambert couldn't take it anymore.

"Jesus, woman, here. Get up for a sec."

Essi sat up as Lambert rearranged himself into a sort of semi-recline with one foot on the floor so his other leg could make room for the tiny pain-in-the-ass that was taking up the rest of the couch space. At his invitation, she wriggled up to the crook of his arm and quickly settled in. Lambert hadn't really thought about what they were doing. Not when Essi had harmlessly leaned against his arm; not when their weight settled into each other; not when Lambert had put his arm around her; not even as he was rearranging to get to where they were now. It had all just... happened. Now, though, with Essi lying still, Lambert felt the weight and warmth of her body shifting gently against his, and it dawned on him that this had the potential to be, well, weird.

But the strange thing was, it didn't feel weird. He'd fucking cuddled before, but there was always a sense of holding back, a tension in his body, being on the lookout for signals from the other person to move onto the Next Step. But now, he actually felt comfortable. There wasn't anything that was supposed to happen after this. Nobody was asking anything of him, no one sending signals he could pick up on but never read properly, no sinking feelings of dread as the other person moved in for a kiss that always felt too soon. Essi was just there, breathing, content. And Lambert was relaxed.

The woman half-on top of him gave a twitch as the credits started to roll, and Lambert let out a private laugh, "Hey, Sleeping Beauty, show's over."

Essi inhaled heavily through her nose and lifted herself up, "Hmmm?"

"Movie's over."

"Did I fall asleep? I'm sorry!" she sat and rubbed her eyes, taking a sip of water to rinse the stale taste from her mouth.

"Eh, only a little." Lambert exited Netflix and tossed the remote back on to the table. "Thought you might wanna start heading home before it gets too late."

Essi nodded in response as she grabbed the pizza box and brought it to the kitchen trash, leaving Lambert to bring the empties.

"You going to finish this atrocity of a beverage?" Lambert waggled the near-empty wine bottle at Essi as he passed on his way to the sink. She merely scowled and shook her head, letting him pour it down the drain 'where it belonged anyway'.

Essi gathered her things and met Lambert by his front door, checking her pockets for her phone and keys one last time before putting her shoes on.

"You okay to walk? Want me to come with?"

It was only 10:30 on a weeknight, and she appreciated the gesture all the same, but it was fine to walk. "Thanks, though. And thank you for tonight. I really needed to get out of the house. I hope, um..."

She trailed off, not sure how to ask. She didn't have the same physical boundaries that most others seemed to have. She was affectionate—often overly so, and it had led to more than a few misunderstandings in the past. She didn't want Lambert to feel as though she had ulterior motives when the simple fact of the matter was that she hadn't really been thinking. Between the instant relief of not actually being on a date and Lambert's easy manner all evening, she'd forgotten that most friendships didn’t generally involve that much physical contact. Would Lambert be confused now? Thinking they were onto something more than friendship? Had he been wanting more? Had she pushed past a point of no return and doomed their friendship?

She inhaled, "Were you comfortable tonight?"

For a split second, Lambert flailed, wondering whether he’d made her uncomfortable. Fuck, she'd seemed comfortable, if anything it felt like he’d been following her lead but maybe...

"I—yeah. That was, I enjoyed that. Were... were you not—?"

Essi smiled and Lambert relaxed again, "No, I was. I wanted to ask in case, that's all. Boundaries and all that. I'll text you when I'm home."

Lambert opened the door and waved her off toward the elevator, "'Kay. 'Night!"

The door clicked shut.

Okay, alright. Fine. Did they cuddle? Yes. Did he enjoy it? Fuck yes. He absolutely didn’t care what anyone might think about how he chose to enjoy his time with other people. However, this didn’t stop him from acknowledging that he was in uncharted friendship territory. More than anything, he was worried about how Essi really felt. Of course, she had no reason not to be honest with him. But the last thing he wanted to do was play fast and loose with someone’s emotions, especially not a friend, and definitely not one as close as Essi. Time would tell. As Lambert’s head hit the pillow, the memory of her warmth and weight settled over him again, and he slept soundly for the first time in months.

***

“Yes Poppet, but have you slept together yet? Honestly, you’ve been dating for almost three weeks now, what could you possibly be waiting for?”

Oh, I don’t know, hell to freeze over? You to mind your own business? Whichever comes first…

“I mean, you clearly adore one another, I’ve never seen you happier. What’s there to lose?’”

Essi scoffed.

Julian placed his hands on her shoulders, “I know it’s been a while for you, but I think you can afford to let yourself go a little, have some fun, hm? Besides, it’s better to find out sooner rather than later if you’re sexually incompatible.”

She took a deep breath, “That’s a very good point, Julian, I’ll think about that.” The dating act was starting to wear a little thin, but it was worth not having to explain to anyone that they weren’t doing exactly what it looked like they were doing.

Julian took time to give his cousin a scrutinizing look, “Well, by the look of things it won’t be long anyway. If you spend all of your time together as tangled up as you were the other night when I came over, it’ll happen sooner rather than later. Just trust your gut, and when in doubt, a little hint never goes awry.”

Needless to say, Essi more or less ignored her cousin’s advice.

As the weeks stretched on, it became evident that they were quickly becoming what most people would consider to be more than friends. The first time they pulled the covers back and climbed into bed, each on their half of the mattress, they were aware that yet another boundary of friendship had been pushed a little farther into the grey zone. But, they woke up the next morning feeling happy, content, and refreshed, and surely there was nothing wrong with two people sharing a comfortable bed. Essi had woken up with crust in her eyes and her nightgown bunched around her waist. Lambert had woken up with morning wood and his hair a mess. Neither of them cared. People wake up in the morning, big deal.

Still, it didn’t stop the questioning that oscillated in the background of Lambert’s mind. Was he unknowingly leading Essi on by allowing her so much closeness without a clearly defined relationship? She’d made her own disinterest clear enough on their first “date”, but feelings change over time. What she’d told him three weeks ago might not be true anymore…

And then there was that soft warm tingle in the middle of his chest every time she lay her head in his lap, every time he ran his fingers through her hair. He knew he wasn't in love. Not that he was an expert, but what was all that "when you know, you know" bullshit if he couldn’t trust his own feelings? He loved her, sure, but more like a... not a sister, that would be weird. He didn't know what like. Whatever. Fuck it. Eskel had said it best three weeks ago: “As long as you're happy and everything’s healthy, that’s all that matters.” Yeah, sure. We’ll stick with that.

As far as Lambert and Essi were concerned, it was what it was, and whatever it was was working… wasn’t it?

***

"Fuckin' finally!"

The door to Essi's apartment clicked closed as the tenant wilted against it, emitting an exhausted groan, "Two. Hours. It took me two hours to get home!" She toed off her penny loafers and abandoned her purse and jacket in a pile by the front door, ignoring the hook three inches to her left. She flopped heavily onto her living room carpet.

"I see you found my spare key," she added, not at all surprised that Lambert had managed to let himself in.

"Yeah, you should probably put that in a less obvious spot," he answered, crossing to the door to hang her things up. "So, I see it's a lying on the floor kind of evening. Can I interest you in a drink to start? Vodka pairs well with the general vibe of Done-With-This-Shit, or we also have tequila if you feel like shouting out the window after a couple shots. Alternatively, there's gin if you want to cry later."

Essi smiled with her eyes closed, feeling her body slowly relaxing into the spongy throw rug underneath her, "You know me so well."

"Vodka?"

"Vodka. Euch, I need to vacuum!," Essi peeled herself to a seated position as clinks and clatters began in the kitchen. She hopped in the shower to rinse the day off, and after a few minutes, there was a knock on the bathroom door.

"Yeeees?" she called, playfully.

"Drink delivery!" Lambert hollered back, "you want this now or later?"

"Why are you so good to me?"

There was a draught of cool air as Lambert opened the bathroom door, "Because you only marginally annoy me. Here," he passed his hand between the shower wall and the opaque fish-scale-patterned curtain. "What's on the docket for tonight?"

Essi groaned, "I don't know, I'm sorry. I used all my brain cells trying not to murder people on the streetcar."

"Okay," Lambert sat on the lidded toilet, "here's the thing. I kinda maybe figured that might be the case so I kinda maybe picked up a few things to make dinner."

A shampoo-piled head poked out from behind the curtain, "You're kidding."

"Nuh-uh."

"I love you."

Lambert chuckled, "Yeah, you're alright. Come on, hurry up, this bathroom's a fuckin’ sauna, and I don’t want the croutons to get soggy." Essi burbled an answer about conditioner and almost done, and Lambert took that as his cue to leave.

Dinner was simple: pan fried Salmon with crispy skin (delicate and buttery on the inside); wax beans in butter (tender and not overcooked); grilled brussels sprouts (just beginning to brown on the edges); and a fresh caesar salad. Everything done to perfection. Full, content, and ready to take their relaxation to the next step they settled themselves on Essi’s blue-grey sectional to begin the arduous task of deciding what to watch.

This was proving particularly difficult with the addition of Essi's caveat that whatever they chose not be "too plot-heavy" which so far had included Masterchef, an interior design show, and program about shepherding in the Orkneys.

"Sweetheart, you gotta give me some slack here. I thought I was on track with the sheep!"

"I know, I'm sorry!" Essi muffled into his shirt sleeve. "I do like animals..." She gasped loudly. "BLUE PLANET."

Lambert stopped the endless scrolling and pushed play as the soothing voice of David Attenborough filled the small living room.

"Hey! Why'd you pause it?"

Lambert was standing up, "If we're going to do this, then we're doing it right. Hang on."

Essi slumped on the sofa as the microwave kicked on. In a few minutes, there was popcorn in their laps and half a bottle of vodka on the table with an ice bucket and lemon wedges in a bowl. Lambert read off his phone screen.

"We will take a drink when:

-David says 'Extraordinary' -David uses a clear understatement such as 'But then again, living in an active volcano is not without its risks' -An animal is being eaten -An animal is mating -There is sped up footage of a plant growing."

"Oh no," Essi lamented, chewing her popcorn ungracefully, "I'm going to get so drunk."

"You got it, Goldilocks. Fill up."

And with that, they were off, taking it slow with their vodka twists, but nonetheless feeling the warm buzz start to tingle under their skin. The box of microwave popcorn was empty by halfway through, and the remains of Essi's exhaustion had almost dispersed entirely.

"Ooh! Understatement! Drink!!"

By ten o’clock, pink-cheeked and feeling boisterous, they had finished with their favourite parts of Blue Planet, or at least the ones they had patience for, and had moved on to Planet Earth II.

“Holy fuck, that’s a lot of snakes—Go, you little fucker! Go!”

The drama on the screen had caused the two to separate from one another while Lambert invested himself in the success of the small lizard. Once the baby Galapagos Iguana had made it to safety, they were once again able to recline without Essi risking an elbow to the face.

She bundled against him, scooting farther between his legs where he leaned in the corner of the sectional. He gathered her hair and draped it over her left shoulder so it wouldn't get caught in his buttons—they'd learned that the hard way. It was still damp, cool to the touch, and smelled like verbena sea salt shampoo. He felt a pulse of affection ripple through him as her weight resettled. He loved that feeling. It had taken some time to get used to it. But now it was high on his list of favourite things. He was happy. And it was healthy. And that really was all that mattered.

Right?

Eskel’s words turned themselves around again in his mind as he wrapped his arm around the front of Essi’s shoulders. He let himself indulge in the texture of her cotton knit nightshirt under his fingers. He relished in the peace of mind at being able to just be there with someone who meant something to him and made absolutely no demands. He let himself relax.

Essi felt a kiss land on the top of her head with a playful, "Muwah!"

She giggled quietly, "Thank you!" Then, upon further thought… Did he want to kiss her? Her mind did a double take as she tried to get on top of the ball.

It wasn’t impossible. They were close after all, and she wasn’t opposed to the idea. She’d recently found herself in a balancing act of realizing she could, in theory, have a deeper kind of feeling for Lambert. Only if, for whatever reason, it turned out he felt the same way. These weren’t the helpless uncontrollable feelings of ride-or-die infatuation; they were malleable, translatable, general feelings of affection and fondness that belonged in any number of different relationships and dynamics.

No sense risking it, she thought. They'd found a liminal space of comfort and safety that she'd never experienced with anyone else before, and if the options were between being a little confused and ruining everything, the choice was an easy one. Then again, if Lambert was developing feelings for her, she didn’t want to miss an opportunity. Shit. Her cheeks burned as she felt the question rise closer to her lips.

"Lambert?" she sat up abruptly and turned to her friend who was still moulded into the corner of the couch, watching the mating rituals of exotic birds with bewildered skepticism.

He jolted at Essi’s sudden movement, "Hello, yes."

Her bright blue eyes were now slightly unfocused, "Do you—? Nevermind." She lay back against him, suddenly skittish..

"Mm, nah, try again," he said, sluggishly. "What’s up, buttercup?"

She swayed a little when she sat up, "Are you happy with what we are?"

Lambert blinked, caught slightly off-guard. The question was easy enough to answer, "Yeah! I mean I don’t know what the fuck we are, but I’m feeling pretty good about it. Shit, why? Are you not? I can be less… whatever. Or… more?" It wasn’t like he was repulsed by the idea of anything else happening between them—in theory it was a possibility. In practice, however...

Essi put an emphatic hand on Lambert’s knee, her glassy eyes going wide, "Do you want more?"

"What? No! I dunno, I—maybe. I haven’t really thought about it. I mean…” Lambert searched Essi’s face for any clue that might help him know how to proceed, “I don’t not want anything else. Fuck, I don’t know! I’m used to doing things the other way around. You know the drill: uncomfortable date, smoosh faces together, have sex, hope feelings fall out. Lather-rinse-repeat. I dunno, do we have to… But what if we try something and...? I don’t wanna lose this."

Essi leaned in close and whispered, “I have an idea.”

"Why do I feel like I'm going to regret this?"

"We should kiss."

Lambert nearly swallowed an ice cube, "What?!"

"Just once. Quickly. Just... in case."

"You want me, Lambert, to kiss you, Essi Daven, on the lips."

She nodded sincerely, "For science."

There was a brief pause during which Essi felt the beginnings of panic brewing in her stomach, but by the time she'd finished grappling with potential consequences, Lambert was filling their glasses.

"Alright. Fine. My friend wants me to kiss her for science? Fuck it. I'll drink to that."

They downed their drinks and squared up, knee to knee on the edge of the sofa as they each prepared for their best form—or as good as they could offer given the circumstances. They counted down, 3-2-1...

The kiss was quick, over as soon as it had begun, and both friends pulled away with questioning looks. Inconclusive. They tried again for a little longer, still returning with the same quizzical expressions. They went in for a third time, committing more thoroughly, and for a brief moment it seemed they might have found the semblance of a spark. But it didn’t build. It felt… fine? But no different than if they were lying together on the sofa. It was just another thing they were doing. They each tried to find the right word for what they were feeling, but were soon distracted by the oddness of it all.

Essi started to giggle. Less than a second later, Lambert joined her, and they both pulled away, thoroughly satisfied that their experiment had yielded a strong No on the subject of More. There was a dull thud as Essi slid from the couch and onto the floor, still holding her drink in one hand and laughing hysterically.

Lambert sighed and shook his head, "I think it’s time we got you to bed."

Headaches and dry mouths greeted the two friends the next morning when they blinked awake. Essi’s hair was a cotton-candy mess, having still been slightly damp when Lambert put her to bed. The brunet himself didn’t look much different from his usual scruffy state as he gathered Essi up in an armful of duvet and squeezed tight.

“Gods, Lambert, I still need to breathe,” Essi chuckled, pressing her back into his chest.

“You’ll get over it,” he teased and self-indulgently nuzzled even closer. “You feeling alright? I mean, aside from the hangover. About last night?”

“Oh no,” Essi groaned, “I’m so sorry, Lambert. I shouldn’t have said anything. It’s just—you kissed my head and then that got me wondering about whether you might want something else, and then I didn’t really know what was happening and—”

“Hey, easy on the rambling, okay, I’m running on limited brain cells, here. Look,” Lambert sat up to find those big blue eyes, now shining brightly, “I have no idea what the fuck this is that we’ve got going on, but I like it fine just the way it is.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. And we can keep talking about that. Just, you know, maybe next time something’s on your mind, don’t wait ‘til we’re wasted at 2am?”

“Okay, deal. Can we go get bacon now?”

Lambert chuckled, “Yeah, alright, fine. Make me put pants on, I see how it is.”

Their conversation continued over strong coffee and eggs benedicts. Between their check-in that morning and everything that had happened the previous night, it was well-established that they were perfectly happy where they were. Rather, the main topic of conversation was their growing desire to level with their friends about the nature of their relationship. Eskel and Geralt, they both agreed, would be the easiest—Lambert could tell them that evening. Julian and Essi’s friends on the other hand would be a little more difficult.

Telling Julian together would be best, Essi thought. He was bound to have questions, and if both she and Lambert were there to answer them definitively and explain that no, they didn’t have secret feelings for one another; and yes, they really were just friends and not at all interested in exploring the relationship further thank you very much. Exactly when this discussion with Julian would occur still wasn’t clear. Realistically, they could pick any time, but they decided to wait until Lambert could tell the Old Men. At least then they were assured some less invasive support.

Their reaction was easy enough to predict: Eskel reassuringly repeated his standby “As long as you’re both happy with things…” and twirled a forkful of pasta; Geralt tilted his head thoughtfully and said, “That sounds very nice. I’m happy for you.” Lambert had expected mild disapproval, concern that they were deviating too far from the norm and into a complex dynamic that would be too messy to manage. Instead, Geralt simply said it ‘sounded very nice.’ Lambert smiled into the open refrigerator on his way to get a beer.

The following weekend was Julian’s birthday, and, as per their annual tradition, the group all gathered on Friday evening at the birthday boy’s favourite restaurant—Vegelbud’s. The two decided to tell him the week after his birthday so as not to detract from his Big 3-0. Just one more week, and it would all be in the open. Easy breasy.

The afternoon of the dinner, Eskel and Geralt received a group text: Haven’t told Julian the details yet. Keep the beans to yourselves please (I’m looking at you, @Eskel).

“Why me?” Eskel turned to Geralt over his paperwork, looking a little hurt.

Geralt chuckled, “You have a slight tendency to overshare when you want to be supportive.”

“I do?” He turned on the bar stool to follow his partner on the way upstairs.

“It’s not a bad thing, but…” Geralt sighed, “Lambert has always needed to feel in control of situations like this. He doesn’t want one of us bringing this up before he’s ready to talk about it, especially in a public place, you know how he gets when he feels cornered. And Julian is Essi’s cousin…”

Eskel raised a hand, “You’re right, you’re right. All points taken. Are you showering?”

Geralt smirked as he headed for the stairs, “Come on then.”

Four hours later and halfway through dinner, everything had gone swimmingly. The food had been expectedly delicious, the company and conversation excellent, and so far no one had felt the need to bring up Essi and Lambert’s relationship on any level. That is until Julian got a few drinks under his belt, and decided it was time to document the occasion. Geralt and Eskel were the first victims.

“Aww just look at you two! So in love, so vivacious and full of adoration,” Julian held up his phone as Geralt touched the side of his head to Eskel’s. Beep-Chk! A perfect image of a happy couple was captured and posted to Instagram (#julianturns30 #dinneratvagelbuds #dinnerout #cutiesofinstagram #favoriteotp #gaycouplesofinstagram #livelaughlove…). There were a few more photos of the three of them together, the white chocolate raspberry cheesecake with the candle in it, a group shot taken by the waiter. It was all so close to being over, Essi could practically taste the refuge of the streetcar.

"Come on, lovebirds, show us a smooch!" Oh no. Oh no, oh no, oh no. Essi’s stomach lurched and she felt her cheeks start to warm. Lambert’s hand landed gently on her knee under the table, his fingers pressing firmly into her leg as she desperately tried to think of something to say.

"Oh, um..."

Across the table, Geralt and Eskel shared a wordless communication: de-escalate, distract, redirect.

“You’ll want to eat that cheesecake before it gets warm” Geralt offered. “I hear it’s so light it’ll disintegrate in a heartbeat.” Eskel nodded in encouragement, taking a bite of his own.

“I know, I know,” Julian shrugged, “Just a quick one. Say Cheese!”

"Not right now, Julian," Essi tilted her head, her eyes flashing a little.

"Oh come on, Poppet! I know you don't like PDA, it's just one little picture--"

“Don’t call me Poppet.”

Eskel cleared his throat loudly, "Doesn't seem they're that keen on it. Maybe let's try for one another time."

"It's past your one-month-a-versary, let everyone see how in love you are."

"Julian," Geralt growled, "leave it."

Julian covered his mouth in alarm, "I’m so sorry, have you not used that word yet? I didn’t mean anything by it, I just want the world to see how happy my beautiful cousin is!"

“Really Julian, it’s not necessary we—” Essi’s fingernails were starting to dig into Lambert’s palm from the sheer effort of maintaining composure. She wasn’t sure whether she wanted to cry or disappear, and with neither of those being an option, it seemed the only possible escape was for them to kiss. They’d done it before. No big deal. It would feel off, but they’d just go back to her place and drink about it after.

“Essi, what’s the matter with you, it’s just one little picture, and we all know you’re not camera-shy. On three, ready? One, two…”

"For fuck's sake we're not dating!"

The table all silently turned their attention to Essi whose cheeks had been turning progressively redder.

“What?” Her cousin laughed incredulously.

“We’re not a couple, Julian. We’re friends. We have been from the beginning, but we didn’t want to tell you because we knew you wouldn’t fucking leave us alone until you could boast about having set us up.”

Lambert shared a brief look with Eskel before lowering his eyes to the tablecloth, his hand still firmly clutched in Essi’s.

Julian gaped, “So, it was all… the cuddling, the laughing, that time I came over and you were asleep on the couch, that was all… a ruse?”

“No, Julian, that was real. I told you, we’re friends.”

“That’s not friends! Since when have friends watched a movie half-on-top of each other?”

“Two people can enjoy each other's company lying flat, Julian,” Eskel’s rich voice interjected across the table and the discussion ground to a halt.

Geralt shrugged with his tea at his lips, “It is the twenty-first century after all.”

Julian’s cornflower blue eyes flitted back and forth between the two friends, utterly bewildered. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Well what with your complete and utter invasion of privacy for the sake of hooking us up, we didn’t necessarily trust you to believe us,” Essi answered curtly, her hand shaking slightly.

“Poppet, you could have just told me—”

“Stop. Calling me that. And I did tell you, Julian!” she exploded. “I told you the first day I moved here. The first. Day. I said, ‘Julian, I think I want to take a break from dating until I’ve been settled for a year.’ And what did you do? Conspired with my well-meaning former mentor to hook me up with someone I had one good conversation with at a Christmas party. And do you know what? We are happy. But we’re happy in our own way. And maybe our boundaries with each other seem a little strange to you, but we’re not fooling ourselves. We don’t want to kiss each other, we don’t want to have sex, and we don’t want a relationship. And even though it’s absolutely none of your damn business, I’ll tell you anyway: we’ve talked about it. All of it. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I don’t think I want to be here anymore.”

The chair legs scraped against the floor of the restaurant as Essi stood to leave, throwing her purse over her shoulder as she went. Lambert looked hesitantly around the table, “I should probably, you know…” He gestured after Essi with his thumb. Eskel gave Lambert the go ahead and he quickly stood to follow his friend out of the restaurant, leaving a very stunned Julian with the other two. He found her perched on the parking barrier in the small lot to the left of the front doors. He called to her and she looked up. Eyes shining, mascara running...

“Ah shit, you know I’m no good with this kind of thing.”

“I’m sorry, Lambert, I just—” she blew her nose, “—he just wouldn’t stop and I didn’t know what to do or say, and it all just came pouring out. I didn’t want it to. The whole time I was begging myself to stop, but I just couldn’t, it’s been bottled up for so long and-and—but it’s his birthday, and—oh, he must feel so awful! I didn’t want to make him feel bad, but—and with Eskel and Geralt there too! They must think I’m horrible! I’m so sorry, Lambert, I didn’t want it to be like this, I wanted to have him over and sit him down and be patient, and instead I’ve just made a complete mess of things. And on his birthday! It’s his birthday, oh God, this is the worst thing I could have done.” Essi choked back bitter tears as she tried desperately to stem the flow with her soggy tissue, “Are you upset with me, Lambert? If you are, I understand. Maybe we should take a break of some kind, you know. Not see each other for a while and—”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, hold it right there. Look, I’m probably not going to say any of the right stuff here, but I am absolutely not upset with you. You got that? And for what it’s worth, I don’t think us taking a break from spending time together is going to do anything. Unless you’re looking to punish yourself by taking away a nice thing which, okay. But the fact that you’re willing to ditch me instead of Arbor Mist says something about our friendship I’m not too pleased with.”

Essi turned her wide, pleading, bloodshot eyes to Lambert who cracked a smile, “Jesus, I’m kidding! You adorable fucking mess, c’mere.” He pulled his petite friend into a hug and rested his chin on the top of her head until she quieted down. Neither of them was quite sure how much time had gone by, but Essi found herself wishing it had been long enough for everyone to have gone home so she didn’t have to face whatever aftermath she’d left behind.

Meanwhile, Eskel and Geralt had settled the bill and offered to give Julian a lift back to their place for a night cap, not wanting to leave the evening on such an unsettled note. Essi needed space, and whatever company she needed, Lambert was clearly capable of providing. It was for the best, they suggested, and dissuaded Julian from trying to call her.

“Best to sleep on things,” Geralt said, tucking his card back into his wallet and giving the waiter a nod in gratitude. “We can meet for coffee this weekend and sort this out. For now, just let her cool down.”

Eskel clapped Julian encouragingly on the shoulder as they made their way into the damp summer night air. As they turned into the parking lot, they came face-to-face with Essi and Lambert who had clearly just turned to come back inside. Both cousins looked like they had seen better days: Essi’s eyes were puffy and red, her cheeks blotchy and streaked with inky makeup stains; Julian was perhaps less dishevelled, but the dark circles under his eyes were more pronounced, his boyish features now dejectedly weighted down with remorse and hurt.

“Juian, I’m so sorry, I didn’t—”

Essi’s cousin raised his hand, “Don’t. Please don’t. Essi, I am so, so sorry. I never meant to push you like that, I didn't realize... you both have been so happy this last month and—"

"It's okay, really, we can talk about this all another time. I'm just so sorry I ruined your birthday. We wanted to sit down with you and talk properly but..." Essi's tears welled up again, and Julian smiled weakly.

"But we both did what we always do?"

She sniffed, nodding emphatically with a tearful, "Yeah.” Julian pulled his cousin into a fond embrace while the other three clumped together to watch the reconciliation.

“Oh! Here,” Essi reached into her purse and pulled out a small, neatly-wrapped box. “Happy birthday!”

Julian opened his gift without a second thought, his face brightening instantly. The box contained a set of premium ultra-light guitar strings and a pair of concert tickets. The perfect gift. Overwhelmed with gratitude, and the atmosphere having been recovered, Julian suggested they all attend brunch together that Sunday morning, his treat by way of apology. Geralt offered to split the bill as a peace offering for his part in the initial setup, and the five made a date.

A fresh start, a promise of spending time together with fewer secrets and, Julian conceded, a few more boundaries.

#witcher rarepair summer bingo #wrsb #Platonic #queerplatonic #no romo #Geralt/Eskel #Essbert #Gereskel #Jaskier #Julian Alfred Pankratz #alcohol #drunkenness #Essi & Lambert #Essi Daven #Lambert

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