#i was thinking and i realised i literally don’t remember the last time i had a saturday off. i think i’ve worked saturdays for at least
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about to do my worst shift of the week on a grand total of 2 hours sleep send help
#i was thinking and i realised i literally don’t remember the last time i had a saturday off. i think i’ve worked saturdays for at least#3 months in a row#free me from this prison
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The unexpected gift | Alessia Russo
Pairing: Alessia Russo x Reader
Summary: Meeting Alessia at a bar while she's out celebrating her birthday.
A/n: In honour of Lessi's birthday :)
Masterlist | Woso masterlist | Words: 1.5k
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You were looking around the busy bar, trying to find the friends you had arrived with. Only one of them was still sharing the table with you. “Have you seen the rest?” Emma shakes her head, “I saw Lexi leaving with some guy like fifteen minutes ago, and the last time I saw Mandy, she was making out with a girl on the dance floor.” You laugh, “Maybe we should go and find some people too.” You see your friend looking over your shoulder, “I think I found just the right person.” Her face lights up, so you look over your shoulder to see who she’s looking at. You immediately knew who she was talking about, “Em she's totally your type. You should go for it!” You encourage her. “You'll be alright on your own?” You've probably never nodded faster in your life, “Go shoot your shot!”
Now it was just you. First, another drink, you thought as you got up and headed to the bar. You had never been one to just step up to a girl and shoot your shot, so you were going to need some more liquid courage. What you hadn’t expected was for a girl to literally fall into your arms.
You quickly react and catch her before she falls down completely. “Oh my god, I am so sorry.” The girl starts apologising profusely, her words barely registering as you’re immediately lost in her piercing blue eyes. “It's okay, but you could've just said hi, you know?” The girl visibly relaxes at your joke. “Hi.” She says with a big smile on your face. You went from being mesmerised by her eyes to being mesmerised by her smile. The girl was absolutely stunning, and you thanked the universe that you were the one she fell into. “Hey,” you send her a smile back, “what brings you out tonight?”
“I’m actually here celebrating my birthday with some of my friends. What about you?” At that the girl in front of you seemed to remember that it wasn’t just the two of you in the room. “That’s so fun, happy birthday! I’m here with a couple of friends too, except they all left to go make out with strangers.” You joke.
Before the blonde could respond, a hand fell onto her shoulder, “Oi Lessi, what’s taking so long?” Lessi, you smile now knowing her name. She nudges her head your way, hoping that her friend would leave her alone. “Oh, I see.” She says with a smirk, as she sees her friend's cheeks flush. The girl looks your way. “What are you drinking?” You give her your drink of choice and thank her before continuing your conversation, “So, Lessi is it?” She holds out her hand, “Alessia actually.” You shake her hand, “Y/n.” You realise you hadn’t let go of her hand yet, so you slowly retract it. “You should join me and my friends.” She said with a smile you couldn’t say no to even if you wanted to. So, when Alessia’s friend presses a drink into your hands, you find yourself following the two to the other side of the bar.
“Sorry for the wait, but don’t fear Katie is here with the drinks! Also, this is y/n, she’ll be joining us.” You wave to the group as a bunch of hello’s are thrown your way. Since the group was large enough to entertain themselves, Alessia guided you over to a free spot at the table, so you could continue your conversation. “You’ve got quite the group of people here with you.” You comment, looking out over the twenty something girls surrounding you. “Oh yes, I play football, and these are all my teammates. Since we’re such a big group when we all go somewhere, I like to just invite them out instead of having to host this many people at home.”
She tells you all about football, and her experience playing in the euro’s after you asked for it. You found it adorable that she was so passionate about her sport. You hadn’t even realised an hour had gone by since you had sat down, until one of her friends stood in front of you. “Less, come on, we want to go to the next bar.” The girl was looking at her expectantly, and looked to be very excited for their next step of the night. “You promised us karaoke, now let’s go.” Alessia looks between the two of you, “Okay Beth, calm down. We’ll go to the karaoke bar, tell the girls to get ready, and I’ll be right there.”
Once Beth turns around you hear her loudly announce to the group that you’re going to the next bar, you smile at her enthusiasm showing so clearly. “She’s really into karaoke, huh?” Alessia laughs, “I think she just enjoys watching everyone embarrass themselves, honestly. Would you want to come with us? I don’t want our time to end yet.” You loved the idea of spending more time with Alessia, so you agreed. “I’m not singing though.”
You quickly text your friends where you’re going as you were grabbing your coat, before you join Alessia’s friends outside. Alessia wasn’t there yet, so you make small talk with Lia, Vic, and Leah. A few minutes later you saw Alessia approaching, but before she reached you, she tripped over her own feet. Luckily Leah was quick to catch her this time. “That twice now, seems like you really needed some fresh air.” You laugh. “Trust me it’s not just the alcohol, she’s naturally clumsy.” Vic says, earning herself a playful shove from Alessia.
The karaoke bar was busy, so it took a while before any of the girls got to sing, but the atmosphere in the bar was great. You were dancing and singing along to the music along with the rest of the girls.
Beth, Jen, and Steph, were the first ones up on the stage, performing their rendition of ABBA’s Dancing Queen, they fully let go and belted the lyrics to the audience, and they sang it back just as loud.
As the night went on, you found yourself getting closer and closer to Alessia. Until eventually, her arms were around your waist, while you were swinging to the music together.
You didn’t want the night to end, but the bar was slowly emptying out, and you knew it was going to close soon. “Alright, last song everybody. This is Sweet Caroline performed by the Arsenal Women's team.” The DJ announced. The girls made their way to the stage, and before you had time to resist, you got dragged along with them.
Blending into the group, you let go and sing along with the words to the song.
Hands, touching hands
Reaching out, touching me, touching you
Sweet Caroline pam pam pam
Good times never seemed so good
You had to admit that that was a lot of fun.
Once everyone was out of the bar, Alessia took you aside, trying to get away from the loudness of her friends. “I had a lot of fun tonight, thank you for inviting me to join your birthday celebration.” Her smile grows, “Of course, I am so glad that I did. Thank you for a great night. Actually I was wondering if I could see you again sometime, like take you out on a date." She started fiddling with the rings on her fingers, suddenly becoming nervous. So, you take her hand in yours, “I would love to." Her nerves faded away just as quickly as they had appeared. “Yeah? That’s great. Let me get your number.” You put your numbers in each other’s phones.
“Thanks again for a great night.” Alessia said, taking your hand in hers again. “Likewise, birthday girl.” You’re about to move back to the rest of the group when you get an idea, and turn to Alessia again. “I haven’t given you a birthday gift yet.” Alessia laughs, “I mean I didn’t really give you any notice.” You smile at her quick joke. “That’s okay, I’m great at improvising.” You take a step closer to her, and lean in to kiss her.
Her lips are soft on yours, and you taste the sweetness of the cocktails she’s been drinking on them. You break the kiss with flushed cheeks from the wolf whistles and cheers coming from the group behind you. So, you lean in to whisper into her ear, “Happy birthday.”
Your house was only a couple blocks away, but Alessia insisted on you joining her in her Uber, making the driver take an extra stop. “Text me when you get home?” You ask as you get out, and she nods, “I will.”
When she was alone in the Uber, Alessia starts reminiscing on her birthday. She had a great time with her teammates, and got a lot of great presents. Thought, the unexpected gift of meeting you, was her favourite gift of all.
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#alessia russo#alessia russo x reader#alessia russo imagine#alessia russo x y/n#arsenal wfc#arsenal women#arsenal wfc x reader#arsenal wfc imagine#woso#woso imagine#woso imagines#woso x reader#woso fanfics
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“You and your friends celebrate girl’s night at the penthouse. This however, isn’t an excuse for Jungkook not to receive his welcome home kisses. You won’t complain, he’s your cutie after all.”
Pairing: CEO!Jungkook x f.Reader
Genre: married life!AU, Slice of Life Fluff, casual BDSM
Warnings: just girlies being best friends <3, they talk very freely about kink, she shows off her playroom, mentions of sex work & BDSM events, mommy kink, Kookie being her cute Bunnybaby <3
Wordcount: 2.5k
a/n: i reread the caravan chapter of aaol and in it, Koo mentions that she can bring her girl friends over for girl's night whenever she wants to. so i wrote something about that feat. Koo being a cutie. have fun besties 🤎
You had your girls over tonight. It has been ages since you last saw them and it couldn’t be any more exciting to have them stay at your place. You call it your Paradis Girls’ Sleepover. Hyejin brings the snacks, Byulyi the drinks, Yongsun is responsible for the face masks and Wheein brings candles. You offer them your guestrooms to sleep in, comfy pajamas to wear and fluffy socks to show off.
The sleepover started at four. Hyejin and Wheein were the first to arrive. Like always. Yongsun was next and Byulyi came last. You all greeted each other with happy squeals and tight hugs, falling into excited conversation instantly. Your voices overlapped, everyone had something to tell and unsurprisingly, nobody was heard. You giggled about it and then agreed on taking turns telling your stories.
Yongsun and her now-fiancé are currently trying for a baby and are moving apartments. She stopped working at Paradis four months ago. You knew of the last fact of course because you and the others were her emotional support cheerleader in the group chat during the process. She doesn’t miss the work and says that sex with her partner feels so much better all of a sudden.
“That’s what I’m always saying. Sex hits so good when you’re only doing it with your love”, you say, snacking on some salted pretzels.
“Yeah I agree, it hits hard. You’re especially lucky though. Kook’s kinky as fuck”, Yongsun says as she sips on her makgeolli.
“Is Shiwon vanilla?” Wheein asks, “that’s news to me.”
“Oh hell no, not vanilla. Just not as kinky as Kook. You guys have a playroom. That’s so hot.”
“Oh, yes right!” you exclaim, clapping into your hands, “Yongsun, do you still wanna tell us more? Because I just remembered that we redid the toy shelves and you didn’t even see them yet.”
“Okay slay. Please show us”, Hyejin says, “unless you still want to talk, Yongsun. We don’t wanna cut your time short.”
“No, I can still talk during the house tour. I need to see the new shelves.”
“Slay. Let’s do that”, Hyejin says and gets up from the couch.
You and the other girls follow.
“Did you realise that you’ve started saying slay all the time?” Byulyi asks.
“Yes god so annoying”, Hyejin groans, “I’m watching this streamer and she keeps saying slay all the time. I can’t stop doing it because of her. Last night, I literally told one of my customers slay after we finished”, she whines, making your little group chuckle.
“Did he say something?”
“Yeah, he asked me what it meant and I had to explain to him. He said that he didn’t get it and then left. Weirdo, it’s not like he wanted to lick cheese sauce outta my belly button before that.”
Wheein cracks up, you and the others laugh as well. You can clearly imagine how weird that customer was. You had so many of those during your time at Paradis.
You chat about the streamer on the way to the playroom. Hyejin tells you that she really likes her streams and that she always watches them in the evening during dinner and her night routine. She then proceeded to gush about this new rice water moisturiser she is trying, which in return made Byulyi think of how she got a new favourite brand of rice. Conversation shifted to Byulyi and her favourite brand of rice and how she thought of so many recipes already. Wheein asked for them and Byulyi gladly shared them.
You keep the door to the playroom open, turning on the lights.
Your girls gasp and coo in unison, looking around the playroom with sparkling eyes.
“This won’t ever lose its spark”, Yongsun gushes, “it’s so hot. Seriously I’m getting all wet just being here.”
“Totally understand you”, Wheein agrees.
“Wait till you see the upgraded toy drawers. That’ll make your clits throb”, you tell them, leading them to the drawers with a happy skip in your steps.
The ladies follow you happily, looking left and right to really take in everything.
“Is that swing new?”Hyejin asks.
“Mhm? That?” you look at the black leather sex swing, “I think you girls haven’t seen it yet, but we’ve had it for like seven months.”
“Slay. Did you use it already?”
“What do you think?” you say and grin mischievously.
“Huge slay.”
Byulyi laughs because of Hyejin, patting her back sisterly.
“It’s sturdy. Also it gives me a good grip on Kook. I can really go to town on him when he’s in there”, you say.
“I can imagine”, Yongsun says, “pegging in a swing just hits so much harder”
“Yeah definitely”, Wheein agrees.
You nod your head and turn to the drawers, “now look at those drawers.”
You and your girls gather in front of them as you open them and reveal your vibrator collection to them.
“Woow so cool”, they gasp.
“Right? Right? Check out the lighting in there. Helloo? We have drawer lights”, you gush, waving your hands around in the drawer.
“That’s genuinely so fucking cool. And the pillowing too. It makes the toys look so expensive”, Byulyi gushes, poking her finger into the velvety pillowing.
“And now check this out”, you say, pushing the drawer closed. It slides closed carefully, slowing down on the last few inches before closing silently, “they have a fucking automatic break in them. Remember the stupid ass drawers in Room 14?”
“They are still getting stuck each time you close them. Trust me, I’m still struggling”, Wheein says.
“I know right. God”, you groan and open the drawer again just to show off its closing mechanism to them, “look at how smooth that is.”
“This is so cool, seriously. Now stop closing the damn drawers I wanna see the collection”, Byulyi says, making you laugh.
“Okay, okay fine. A girl can’t do anything here”, you joke.
Byulyi chuckles deeply, looking into the drawer with a lopsided smirk on her lips.
And so you show them your new toys and give them a few details about how it is to play with them. You show them your pegging dildo collection and Wheein asks about Jungkook’s progress, which you proudly show them. They react in coos and honest praise and you felt so proud of your husband. There is no better feeling in the world than being able to show off with him.
And there are also no better people to do it to than your friends. You share everything about your sex lives. No topic, kink or fetish is taboo. Conversations about them are normal to you and them and part of the bond you share. You honestly think that if you suddenly stopped being so open with each other, the friendship would feel weird. Sex was what brought you five together, it is what you first bonded over as you had to talk shit about weird customers and even now, when two of your little group stopped working at the club, sex will still be a topic keeping you together. After all, there are many kink events where the five of you and your partners go to together. The shared love for kink and fetish is just part of your identities and a big reason why you loved to be friends.
It is obvious how normal kink conversations are in your friendship, when in the middle of you showing off the sturdiness of your flogging post, Byulyi begins talking about her rice again and you all exchange recipes.
By the time the clock showed eight, Jungkook comes home from work. You and your girls were back in the living room again, but still haven’t started the movie you actually wanted to watch. Conversation was just too good to interrupt it with movies.
Jungkook is a welcome interruption however. You look at the elevator until its doors open and reveal Jungkook in his business attire.
“Hey there!”
“Yuhuu!”
“Welcome home, Kook!”
“Helloo!”
Your girls greet your husband happily, giving him enthusiastic waves.
His eyes light up instantly.
“Hey there, girls”, he greets them, stepping out of the elevator, “hey, my love”. he tells you.
“Hey, Bunny. How was work?”
“Okay. I’ll just quickly take off my outside clothes and then I’ll be with you, okay?”
“Okay.”
Jungkook disappears in the dressing room for a moment.
“He worked later today, didn’t he?”
“No, he went for dinner with a friend. I told him to take his time. I’m surprised he’s home already.”
Jungkook reappears again, making his way to you. He looks so handsome in his grey suit that you can’t stop making heart eyes at him.
“___ says that you went for dinner with a friend?” Wheein asks him.
“Yeah, Tae. We had pork ribs. It was so yummy and I ate way too much. My pants are uncomfy now”, he says, tugging on the hem of them to give his tummy a well-deserved break, “I had to drive home with my pants undone”, he says and makes you laugh.
“I understand you so well”, Wheein says, “it’s kinda nice too though. I like being so full with food ‘cause it means that the food was yummy.”
“Yeah definitely.”
“So why are you home already?” Hyejin asks.
“Actually, funny story. Tae had to hurry home because his daughter suddenly got explosive diarrhea and his wife begged him to help her with it.”
“Eew really?”
“Yeah”, Jungkook laughs, “apparently it went all over the walls?”
“Eeew that’s so nasty eeww”, Hyejin says jokingly, “you sure you wanna get knocked up, unnie?” she teases Yongsun.
“Haha, very funny.”
“You and Shiwon are trying for a baby?” Jungkook asks.
“Yup, at least we’re trying for one. I can’t say that I’m hating the process.”
Jungkook laughs, “I can imagine.”
He finally reaches the couch, scanning his eyes over the snacks and drinks.
“Don’t look at the drinks”, Byulyi says, covering the glasses of makgeolli with her hands.
Jungkook chuckles, “it’s fine. I don’t mind looking at alcohol. You girls enjoy”, he says and closes in on you.
He gets on your lap and hugs you, nuzzling his face into the crook of your neck. You hug him back instantly, smiling dreamily.
“Hey, Mommy”, he says.
“Hey there, Bunny.”
“How was your day?”
“Good. And yours?”
“Okay. I had too many meetings”, he huffs out air, “so annoying.”
“Gosh, I’m sorry Bunnybaby. But you did it, I’m proud of you.”
“Thank you, Mommy”, he giggles happily, “I thought of you during the meetings.”
“You did?”
He nods his head and lifts it so he gazes into your eyes.
“I also have to fly to Shanghai for two nights. I gotta meet with a few business partners”, he says and pouts.
“When are you leaving?”
“Wednesday. I should be home by Friday night again”, he sacks his shoulders, “I’m sorry. I know this is really last-minute, but I only learned about it today.”
“It’s okay, you didn’t know”, you assure him and squeeze his dainty waist, “gosh Bunny, I’ll miss you so much. Like damn.”
“I know. Me too, Mommy”, he whines and hugs you tightly, “we gotta call each night.”
“Of course we gotta”, you say, making him giggle and lift his head so he could look at you again.
He caresses the sides of your neck, scrunching his nose cutely.
“You’re so pretty, Mommy."
“Mhm, Bunny you’re so cute. Come closer and let Mommy have her kisses.”
Jungkook leans in gladly, kissing you deeply and with his hips squirming on your lap unapologetically. You and he only act this way in front of your girls. No one else in your lives, not even family, knows this side of you. There would simply be too many awkward follow up questions and quite frankly, it was more comfortable to keep this part of your relationship private. But not in front of your girls. They know you for who you truly are. Jungkook was shy about it at first, because he never experienced sharing his kinks with people before. But once he realised that he won’t find judgment with your friends – and he visited enough kink events with you and your friends to know they are just as kinky as you – he began opening up more and more. These days, he is not ashamed of acting like Mommy’s best Bunny in front of them and he is most definitely not ashamed to show how much he likes your kisses. Everyone should know that he is Mommy’s happy Bunny when he gets your kisses.
You break the kiss because you didn’t want it to deepen too much. Jungkook will get horny again and you can’t be with him for at least a few more hours.
He smiles at you, licking his lips afterwards. You retort the smile, squeezing his hips.
“That was nice”, he says.
“Yeah, it was so nice.”
“I think I’ll go to my room then. I bet you girls have so much to talk about”, he says, looking at the others.
“It’s okay. We don’t mind the distraction”, Byulyi assures him.
“We saw the size you can take these days. That’s impressive”, Wheein adds.
Jungkook’s face is beet red in an instant. He gawks at you with big eyes.
“You showed them?”
“Of course I did. I gotta show off with my Bunny.”
Jungkook blushes even harder, hiding his face in his own hands as cute giggles leave him.
“Mommy, you’re so mean. Don’t show off with that”, he whines, making you and your girls chuckle fondly.
“Mhm no. I’ll keep showing off with my Bunny.”
“God”, he falls against you, hugging you tightly as he giggles, “this is so embarrassing. You’re so mean, Mommy.”
“Sorry Bunny. You know that I’m proud of you, yeah?” you say, patting his butt gently.
“Yeah, I guess. Hmpf so mean”, he says and straightens up. You give him a little smooch on his cheek and then it is already time for Jungkook to get up from your lap.
He looks at the snacks.
“Mhm snackies. Don’t mind me stealing some”, he says and grabs a handful of salted pretzels. He snacks on them as he leaves the living room, chewing happily, “will you girls stay the night?”
“Yup, we wanna watch a movie later.”
“Uuh movie. Which one?”
“Hereditary.”
“Isn’t that the movie with the car scene?”
“Yeah.”
Jungkook cringes, “well good luck to you girls. ___ showed me the scene and I’m still traumatized”, he says, making your little group laugh.
“Thanks Kook.”
“I’ll be in the gym if you need me. I gotta work off the calories I ate. Mhm those are good pretzels. Damn”, he says and officially disappears out of sight.
You release a dreamy sigh.
“He’s so perfect, you guys. I’m so lucky”, you gush.
“Wah she’s so in love”, Hyejin teases lovingly, making you chuckle.
“I am. It’s getting stronger each day”, you say proudly, sighing adoringly.
#jungkook romance#jungkook fanfic#jungkook fanfiction#jungkook scenario#jungkook drabble#jungkook x reader#jungkook x you#sub!jungkook#bts romance#bts fanfic#bts fanfiction#bts scenario#bts drabble#bts x reader#bts x you#sub!bts#bangtan romance#bangtan fanfic#bangtan fanfiction#bangtan scenario#bangtan drabble#bangtan x reader#bangtan x you#sub!bangtan#fanfic: aaol
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roses and dahlias | choi seungcheol
summary | [requested by: @lifeisnotajuunice] the reader being a florist and friends with dk, so one day he brings the whole team to meet reader at their shop and scoups is instantly drawn in by them
genre | fluff
pairing | idol!seungcheol x florist!reader
word count | 2.2k
author's note | while writing this i've realized how little i know about flowers (i literally have no idea how half of these flowers are called in my native language)
Taking a last look at the bouquet you were holding, you hummed in approval, weaving in some final pieces of baby breath to add a soft touch that would stand out in comparison to the crimson red roses and gerbera daisies. “Whoever this bouquet is meant for must be a very lucky person,” you thought, gently putting the flowers in a vase and placing it next to the eight others that were supposed to be picked up in the afternoon.
“They are for your friend, right?” Nodding at your colleague, you wiped your hands on the apron you got from said friend, looking one last time at the bouquet, which now looked even prettier as it stood on the sunlit windowsill. “They are having some sort of party for the whole team, and they ordered nine compositions for the staff,” you explained, looking over at your co-worker.
“They look great, I’m sure they’ll love it.”
“To be honest, I don’t think they know much about flowers, so anything will be good for them,” you laughed, remembering how Seokmin gave you peonies thinking they were roses. You spent the next ten minutes explaining the differences between those two, surely boring your best friend to death.
In his defence, they are kind of similar.
“Will he pick up all of this by himself?”
“Oh, no, he and some of his bandmates are coming later in the afternoon,” you said, nervously chewing on your bottom lip. The fact that most of them would be coming over in a couple of hours, made you feel a lot more anxious than it should.
You and Seokmin have known each other for so many years now, yet you’ve never met all of his friends properly. But there was one specific person that you were the most nervous to meet.
Choi Seungcheol.
You always brushed it off as a silly little crush on a guy you’ve never even met, because no matter how delusional his fancams made you, that was the reality. The biggest interaction you’ve had was liking his Instagram photo, which you immediately regretted, and it’s not like he would pay much attention to you anyways. Still, you could feel your chest tighten at the thought of him actually meeting him.
The rest of the day was busy as always. You helped the customers with picking flowers, making sure to put your heart into every bouquet you made. You’ve always wondered what history would each of these bouquets hold after leaving your shop - because to you, it was merely a job to put together a beautiful piece, but for the receiving person, the flowers meant so much more than that.
Soon, the sun was setting, and people were rushing home to their loved ones, streets busy and loud. You proudly looked at the final order you put together, rolling your shoulders, hoping it would release some tension that accumulated throughout the day.
“We’re here,” suddenly a loud voice pulled you out of your thoughts, startling you a bit in the process. You quickly put away all of the sharp tools that could harm you by accident. “And who would that be?” you joked, not bothered to check who's just entered.
Two strong arms wrapped around your shoulders, and your back met a familiar chest.
“You weren’t at the concert last week,” Seokmin pouted, when you turned around to face him. “Well, I have my responsibilities you know,” you laughed at his disappointed expression. “Besides, I wasn’t able to buy the tickets.”
“You know you could’ve just called me,” he said, realising you from the hug, “I know, I know.”
That’s when you noticed a group of other people watching you. And not just any people.
“Right, I don’t think you’ve properly met before,” Seokmin said, putting an arm around your shoulder. “These are the only ones that bothered to help me, so they’re the best,” he said proudly, looking at his friends.
“Don’t let Soonyoung hear this, or he’ll get mad,” said Seungkwan, you believed. You also recognised the tallest, and the one with glasses next to him - Mingyu and Wonwoo. “And that’s Joshua, Chan and Seungcheol,” your friend pointed at the blond man standing furthest away from you.
You waved your hand at them awkwardly, clutching the cloth you were cleaning with tightly in your hand. They all seemed extremely nice, nothing but smiles on their faces, yet it was quite underwhelming meeting them all at once.
And it wasn’t even the whole band.
As your gaze drifted back to Seungcheol, the realisation that he was actually real hit you slowly, like - he really was standing right in front of you. And he was as perfect as a person could be.
“Don’t worry, we’ll just grab the flowers and leave,” he said, nodding in the direction of the bouquets. “Oh,” you managed to get out, trying not to sound disappointed, because of course, why would they stay any longer than needed. They were here only for the flowers.
You pointed at the windowsill where all of the vases were.
“You did them all by yourself?” Mingyu asked, his eyes wide with interest. “Yes, it’s all me,” you smiled at his fascinated gaze. It always made you feel so appreciated whenever people reacted that way at your work. It only assured you that you were great at what you were doing.
“Can I take a picture of them?” you nodded, giggling at how excited he seemed. “We’ll be here forever if he starts taking photos,” Wonwoo sighed, sliding his glasses further up his nose.
“But it really is a nice place,” Joshua said, patting Wonwoo on the shoulder. “Do you mind if we take some pictures?” he asked. Honestly speaking, even if you wanted to say “no”, you wouldn’t be able to. He looked so genuinely polite and nice.
You went back behind the counter to give the boys some freedom, yet your gaze couldn’t help but wonder toward Seungcheol. He was posing in front of a bunch of tulips and orchids, his blond hair standing out amongst the violet and burgundy flowers, making him look almost ethereal, as the setting sun was illuminating his face.
Seriously, you had to stop ogling him, even though you were sure he’d already noticed how you were staring at him. You caught him looking at you a couple of times in the span of the last ten minutes, but that couldn’t be true, it was silly for you to even think so.
The boys, on the other hand, looked like they had genuinely a lot of fun, trying to guess the different flowers’ names, and doing the silliest poses in front of the camera.
Busying yourself with cleaning, you searched around for the little stool you always used to reach the higher shelves, but it was nowhere to be seen. It’s almost like it magically disappeared when you needed it the most.
Giving up, you sighed, and got up on your tippy toes to put back all of the equipment. What you didn’t quite think about was the fact that the floral branch cutter was a lot heavier than you expected. You yelped in surprise when it suddenly started slipping out of your hands.
Right as you closed your eyes and prepared yourself to get your foot smashed by it, you felt a warm hand on your lower back, and another one holding the cutter, grabbing your own hand in the process. You slowly opened your eyes, just to be met with Seungcheol’s face.
“Are you okay?” He sounded worried, concern written all over his face. “Yes, I’m okay,” you said, although you were sure it came out more like a whisper. “It was too heavy, and it kind of slipped out.”
God, did you really have to embarrass yourself like that now?
“Are you sure everything is alright?” He asked again, as if he didn’t believe your words. You nodded, letting go of the cutter, as he reached for the shelf with ease. “Let me help you with the rest,” he said, looking at the rest of your stuff that was laying on the countertop.
“Why didn’t you ask for help, you could’ve gotten hurt,” he scolded you, his eyes looking straight into yours.
You didn’t know what to say. Why was he being so protective of you?
“Shut it, he’s just being nice,” you thought, brushing off the warm feeling settling in your stomach.
“I didn’t mean to sound rude before,” he suddenly said, fidgeting with his fingers. “I just didn’t want you to feel uncomfortable because of us. We’re kind of a lot,” he laughed, running a hand through his gorgeous hair.
His eyes had a certain softness to them, looking at you like you were something precious to him. But he looked at his members the same way, so it surely didn’t mean anything.
“It’s okay,” you managed to hold your voice steady. “I’m happy you got to take some photos. It looks like you’re having fun,” you smiled at him, trying to memorise every detail of his face before he’d be gone - his golden brown eyes, the way his long black eyelashes would flutter, and his smile, that made your knees weak.
“We do. It’s nice to do something like this after work,” he said, placing the last cutter on the shelf. “Is there anything else I could help you with?”
You looked around the shop. “No, I think that was it.”
“Okay,” it didn’t go unnoticed by you how he sounded almost upset. “I guess I’ll get back to the boys.”
It was impossible for you to know that Seungcheol was freaking out about this even more than you were.
He has seen you a couple of times before, when you were visiting Seokmin in the practice room, or at the backstage after a concert, yet he has never gotten a proper chance to talk to you, and introduce himself.
And Seungcheol was dying to do so.
He didn’t know when this crush started, probably around the time he noticed how his heart would beat a bit faster whenever he’d hear you laugh.
“I just wanted to say that all of the bouquets are amazing,” he said, the moment you came to terms with the fact that this was the end of your conversation. “They’re really beautiful.”
“Oh, thank you. I hope your staff members will love them as well.”
“I’m sure they will,” Seungcheol said. “Who’s this one for?” he asked, pointing at the garden roses and dahlias. “It’s for a wedding.”
“It’s roses and?” “Dahlias. My favourite,” you said, staring at the flowers.
“Coups, could you come here for a second?” All of a sudden, Joshua’s voice echoed through the shop, making you eternally cry, because you knew that if Seunghceol would leave now, you’d never get to talk again.
“Um, I guess I’ll see what he wants,” and with that Seungcheol walked away, leaving you disappointed and frustrated.
“Someone here has got a little crush,” Mingyu approached you right after Seungcheol left, with a smirk on his face and a weirdly suspicious expression. “What do you mean? We were just talking,” you tried to sound as nonchalant as you could, because there is no way he could know about your crush.
“I have never seen him so smiley and giggly with anyone he has just met before. His eyes are basically heart shaped when he looks at you,” he said, leaning on the counter next to you, his smirk only widening. “Besides, he kept looking in your direction all the time.”
A “what?” slipped past your mouth, making Mingyu laugh. “Well, it looks like he’s not the only one who’s a bit in love,” you smacked him on his shoulder. “I’m not in love, and neither is he.”
“Sure. Let’s get back to that when you’re at HYBE visiting your boyfriend,” he winked and walked away, leaving you stunned and speechless.
“Okay guys, let’s wrap this up and get the bouquets which we really came here for,” said Seokmin, grabbing the first vase.
“Remember to keep the tulips in full sun and to put the magnolias in water first thing when you get home,” you said, carefully helping them with each bouquet. “Seokmin, don’t hold them so tightly, you’ll break them,” you scolded your friend.
“How come all of the gym rats came to help with something as delicate as flowers,” Seokmin wondered, shifting his grip on the flowers. “I’m not a gym rat,” Joshua said, earning a swat on the shoulder from Seungcheol.
Saying your final goodbyes, each of the boys left with a bouquet, chatting and evidently more happy than you were. You tried to find Seungcheol amongst them, to take one last look, but he was nowhere to be seen.
You hugged Seokmin as he was the last to leave. “Our leader must really like you,” he whispered to you quickly, running away with a laugh before you could reply.
Closing the shop after them, you returned to the counter only to be met with a single dahlia laying there with a piece of paper next to it.
“The flowers are really pretty, but I think you’re the prettiest.”
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DEAR DIARY, I HATE JUNGWON !
SUMMARY | you hate jungwon- like a lot. everyone at your school knows it at this point, so why is it the minute you see him shed a tear, you feel bad? with this new found guilt, you're able to see new sides of jungwon that your anger blinded you from before. it doesn't take you long to realise that you don't hate these new sides of him as much as you'd like to.
PAIRING | jungwon x fem!reader
WC | 18.2k
WARNINGS | profanity, violence, vandalism, mentions of alcohol & sex
FEATURING | second lead sunghoon, heeseung is mentioned & ITZY
TAGLIST | unofficial taglist i just need the hype pls @tyunni @geombyu @yjwfav @junityy @jaeyunverse @ijhyo @equalheart @odxrilove @iyeonjuni @fairybinie
A/N | before u come at me for plagairising I AM HYUKAAS OKAY THIS IS MY FIC AHAHA IT'S A REPOST initially i was going to rewrite this but u all loved the og version so i'm going to give u the og version i literally have not changed a word. u guys gave this a lot of love on my old acc so i hope u enjoy :)
-
you: wtf
jung_1: ?
you: chemistry club??? really?
jung_1: i wanted the piano club
you: so what? me going isn't going to stop u
jung_1: u think i wanna see your face every day after school?
class is enough smh
you: so u signed me up for chem?
jung_1: it was the only one left lol
you: stfu
jung_1: k lol
From what you can remember, Jungwon hasn't always been like this. You've tried to sit down and pinpoint a date back to when this all started, but the best you could come up with was when he blew out your candle at your eleventh birthday party. That was the first and last time you had ever invited him over to your house.
The two of you are neighbours, and yet you've never had a single decent conversation with the guy in your entire life. Ever since the two of you were little, Jungwon always found a way to laugh at you, talk shit about you or do something to purposely annoy you. Your friends always warned you not to do anything back, that he was only doing it to draw out a reaction, but it was so hard not to whenever you saw his stupid face. The fact that he's so popular in school doesn't help either. Whenever you complain about him to anyone, you're always met with the same thing: "But he's so nice to me." "He's not like that with me." "You must have done something to upset him, Jungwon is the sweetest."
Yeah, sweetest pain in your ass. There is literally nothing about him that you like. It's clear to everyone that you hate Jungwon.
-
Sitting on your chair, you rest your chin on your palm as you stare at the whiteboard. You're fuming, to say the very least. Written on the board are everyone's names under the club they'd be joining as soon as the bell rings. Yours is supposed to be under piano club but instead it's under chemistry with only one other person who signed up. You barely even know who he is.
"Who's Sunghoon?" Your friend, Yuna, whispers.
You recognise the name (being in the same school for 3 years, it would be kind of rude not to) but you don’t really know who he is. “I think it’s the guy that ice skates.”
"He's so cute," Yuna gawks, "you're lucky you're gonna be alone with him for the rest of the year."
You scrunch your face at your friend, before letting out a long sigh. "Yeah, doing chemistry." Fuck Jungwon, signing you up for a club that you're already failing in class, just so he can go to piano. You purposefully ran to the piano club stand so that you could sign it before him, but that asshole must have rubbed out your name and written his instead. As much as you despise him, you have to admit that was a clever thing to do.
Yuna slaps you lightly, "Maybe you can get him to tutor you for free. I heard he gets people to pay him ₩75,000 per hour."
"No, I'm pretty sure the point of chemistry club is to have fun. He's probably gonna be a nerd the entire time," you grumble into your palm, already miserable about the hours and hours you're going to have to spend with a science nerd. There must have been dozens of clubs with spaces still available; Jungwon could have picked another music club, a sports club, literature, art, history, debate, politics, or even maths for God's sake. But the boy chose chemistry. He knows that you're failing all three of your sciences, so not only did he remove you from your favourite club, he put you into your worst enemy—second to Jungwon. God, did you want to pull out his stupid black hair right then.
“You’re not going to let him win this one, are you?” Yuna deadpans, probably bored from your endless war with Jungwon. You don’t blame her, if the tables were turned, you’d probably say the same things she does. “Just leave it.” “If you ignore him he’ll stop.” “Be the bigger person.” Blah blah blah. It would be humiliating to let Jungwon get away with anything. You can’t even imagine it, coming into school everyday and hearing him laugh at you as if he has the upper hand. You would never ever let that happen, not even over your dead body.
Brushing your hair out of your face, you chuckle breathlessly. “As if.” There is absolutely no way in hell that you would let Jungwon get away with ruining your after school club for the rest of the year. You had to come up with something big, something that would make him suffer just as much—no, more—for the whole year, too.
-
Sadly, you didn't have enough time to come up with a plan.
"Okay, so why is a fluoride ion bigger than a sodium ion?"
You groan loudly, whacking your head against the table for what feels like the fiftieth time. You've been in this room for ten minutes with Sunghoon, and he's already managed to make it boring as hell. Optimistic, you came into this room hoping that Sunghoon would come up with some cool science-y project for the two of you to do. Instead, his idea of fun is extra homework. The guy seriously brought question packs for you two to do for a whole hour.
What a joke.
"Sunghoon, why are you asking me like I know?"
He gives you a judgemental look, and at this point you're too bored to care about how stupid he thinks you are. You should be practising the piano and making keyboard remixes on the iMacs, not memorising the periodic table with a nerd.
"Come on," he breaks into a nervous giggle, "this is like, the third question. We haven't even gotten to the hard part yet."
No. There's no way he's taking this club seriously. Dramatically, you push back your chair and glare at him. "You know what, I'm going to go get something to drink. You answer some questions while I'm gone, yeah?" You fake smile at him, unable to look at his nerdy face any longer. God, you hate science kids.
Skipping out of the classroom, you make your way to the vending machine. You need a warm drink to calm your stress down but the cafeteria is too far away so a bottle of apple juice should do. Anything that gives you an excuse to stay away from Sunghoon so that you can focus on your plan to get your revenge on–
"Oh, Y/N! What a coincidence!"
There it is, that dreaded, child-like voice you've grown to hate. Turning around, you're met with his half closed eyes and grin so upturned you can see his baby teeth. If you weren't in the middle of paying for your drink you would have slapped that smirk right off his face. Okay, maybe not, but it's really pissing you off.
"Yeah right, you probably came here to laugh at me." You grumble, fumbling with the vending machine that's choosing not to be on your side today.
He smiles again, shoving his hands in his pockets and shrugging like the oh so innocent boy he is. "I just wanted to check up on how you're doing in your new club. I understand, Y/N," he puts a hand on his chest, pouting, "I really do. Chemistry isn't for everyone."
You whip your head at him immediately, causing him to snort into his hand and break into a laughter that echoes in the empty hallway. "Wow, Jungwon, you're so funny. Don't think for a second that I'm going to let you get away with this."
He comes closer and leans his elbow on the machine so that his head is right above yours, his eyes locking right onto you. Every time he gets close, you're reminded of when Yuna tells you to take a good look at him to see what all the girls in your school sees. But all you can see is an arrogant, stuck up piece of shit—his only entertainment being getting on your nerves. You can see why someone would find him attractive. But his personality is so strong that it practically covers all of his charm to you.
"Admit it," he laughs, "you can't beat me this time. This is one of the best things I've done, I'm kinda' proud of this one. I mean, nothing beats the–"
"Shut up, I am going to beat you. As soon as school's over, I'm coming up with something." You scowl, punching the vending machine so that it will let your bottle fall.
Jungwon coos at you, finding this whole situation amusing. "Aw, is it that hard that it's taking up all your brain space?" He asks in a baby voice. "You can't think of a plan better than mine because you're so busy trying to figure out what O stands for?"
Too focused on the stupid machine, you ignore the menacing voice coming from your left. You've smacked it, shaken it, kicked it, you're not really sure what else there is to do.
Jungwon pushes you out of the way and resets your order, making your jaw drop as you see your bottle that was so close to falling go back to its spot. You shove him back, annoyed that he thinks he can do whatever he wants just because he's stronger than you. "Hey, that was–"
Jungwon sighs dramatically, before bringing out his wallet from his pocket and pulling out a credit card.
"Show off." You mumble, crossing your arms as you watch him dial his order.
"The machine clearly doesn't like you." He smirks, as his coke falls immediately.
You try to hold back how shocked you are, and the urge to ask him to order for you. But with the way Jungwon snickers at you, you can tell he already knows. It isn't like he's going to order for you anyway.
And you're right, because here he is, popping open his can and sipping it right in front of you. He's acting like he's in a commercial for the drink, all just to wind you up. But you can't let him win, you'll never let him win. So you stay, and watch him drink until the last drop and walk away slowly.
Absolute pain in your ass.
Dear diary,
I hate Jungwon.
You're starting to get sick of starting all your diary entries with the same thing. Jungwon isn't even here; you're in your room, alone. There's nothing to remind you of him. Yet every night, you sit at your desk and scribble in your diary. And every night, you start off each entry reminding you that you hate him.
You flip through your diary entries of the past few weeks, and they're all starting to blur together. Each entry is almost as similar as the last. It's all the same thing—you hate Jungwon. You see him in the morning of school, your mood changes. You're reminded of him in your chemistry club, you get angry. You walk behind him on the way home from school, the two of you are arguing.
When the hell is this going to end?
To be honest, thinking about this is just making you hate him even more. The worst thing about this is that you can't even walk it off like you usually do at school. You're used to pacing the school corridors or the track field whenever he makes you really mad. But outside of school, you always meet him. It's either him, or his annoying and inappropriate older friends, or his evil dog. You'd rather rot in your room than risk having to waste your energy fighting with him, or running away from his dog, or pulling your skirt down from his friends.
You're trapped. He gets to enjoy his life while you're trapped at home, writing “I hate Jungwon” in your diary every single day. The power this guy holds over you is huge, and you just can't wait to move out to college to finally get rid of him.
Walking down the hallway, you bump into your chemistry partner of the past two weeks. To be honest, you don’t think you’ve ever seen this boy outside of the chemistry club, so seeing him now, walking tall, hands in his pockets and a lot of other students around him was quite a shock. You really thought he was nothing more than a nerd.
As soon as Sunghoon lays his eyes on you, he smiles widely and you can’t help the way your heart flutters a little at that. Did Jungwon really make you so angry about chemistry that you never noticed how good looking Sunghoon is? Or are you just that bad at it that you had no time to focus on Sunghoon’s looks? As he walks away from his friends and towards you, you gulp, brushing down your hair and skirt with your palms that are starting to sweat. You see this guy every single evening, what difference is it now?
“Hi Y/N,” he smiles, one hand sitting attractively in his pocket and another rubbing the back of his neck.
“Hi,” you reply, but your voice comes out as barely a whisper. You’re a little frightened at how shy you are in front of Sunghoon right now, when you were literally cursing him off in your head yesterday because he laughed at you for not knowing an equation.
He chuckles, and you swear your heart flips at the way his eyes crease when he does. “You know, I was starting to think that you didn’t even go to this school. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you around.”
Well, at least the feeling is mutual. “Yeah, me neither. I didn’t realise you’re kinda popular.” You say as you eye his large group of friends that are all waiting for him. “It must be the ice skating, right?” You joke, mentally slapping yourself for being rude.
Sunghoon laughs anyway, and he leans forward when does, making your heart nearly jump out of your chest. “Yeah, either that or my brain.”
“Nerd.” You playfully roll your eyes, finally being able to mix together the Sunghoon that gets all excited when he’s got a hard question right, and the Sunghoon that’s standing in front of you right now.
A voice interrupts the two of you. He always does. Whenever you manage to find a little bit of peace at school, Yang Jungwon always finds a way to ruin it. You’re so close to getting him charged for stalking at this point. Both you and Sunghoon turn around to see who was clearing their throat, and you almost growl when you do.
“What do you want?” You snap, not giving him the time of day.
Jungwon tilts his head with an offended look on his face and a hand on his heart like he always does. “That’s rude, Y/N, I was just–”
“She said what do you want.” Sunghoon deadpans beside you out of nowhere.
Jungwon furrows his brows, as do you. Nobody has ever come between the two of you bickering before, this was new to the both of you. You decided to stay quiet and see what Jungwon would say, a little nervous at how this might all play out.
“What?” Jungwon chuckles, jutting out his chin to make himself appear taller. The two are practically the same height, but something about Sunghoon’s figure makes him seem so much taller than Jungwon. Are you about to witness an alpha brawl out?
Sunghoon doesn’t move, you don’t even think he’s breathing right now. His eyes are trained on Jungwon’s with a glare so intense even you’re a little scared. “Is there something you need to say to Y/N?”
Jungwon’s brows remain furrowed as his eyes narrow and an annoyed look spreads across his face. How ironic, he’s starting to look like you. You don’t think you’ve seen Jungwon this physically frustrated since the time his bike broke when he was thirteen and he tried to kick it but ended up spraining his ankle. He always looks amused. No matter the situation, Jungwon always has a smile on his face. Seeing him like this—threatened—caught you a little off guard.
“I can say whatever the hell I want to her, pretty boy.” He muttered, his face inches away from Sunghoon’s.
Someone behind you whispers something about their sexual tension, almost making you snort at the scene. You have to purse your lips together to stop yourself from laughing, because now you can’t unsee it.
“Well, too bad we have somewhere to be, don’t we, Y/N?” Sunghoon turns to you, and all of a sudden you can feel everyone’s eyes focusing on you.
You giggle awkwardly, before making eye contact with Jungwon. He’s never glared at you like this before, and for the first time you can think of, you feel small in front of him. “Uh, yeah, we should, uh, get going.”
Sunghoon grins at Jungwon as soon as you speak, and barges past his shoulder aggressively before pulling you by your wrist to go and follow him. For some reason, though, you can’t help but turn around to see Jungwon standing there, already looking right at you.
-
“Sooo,” you sit on a desk as Sunghoon closes the door to the empty classroom the two of you are hiding in behind him, “you gonna’ explain what just happened?”
Sunghoon leans on the desk right in front of you and looks at you blankly, like what just happened didn’t happen at all. “What? You didn’t like it?”
“Like what? Jungwon’s probably going to be so mad because of this.” It’s true, the bike incident when he was thirteen led to him being extra rude for the whole time he was injured. You figure this time it’s his pride that’s hurt, so he’s going to lash out at you until he makes himself feel better. You haven’t even gotten back at him yet for the chemistry club situation, so you really don’t want to be dealing with a moody Jungwon; you’re scared of how creative he’s going to be.
Out of nowhere, Sunghoon lets out a dramatic groan, throwing his head back in vexation as he does. “Come on, Y/N, aren’t you bored of it?”
Confused, you answer. “Of what?”
“This whole cat and mouse deal you have going on with Jungwon? I remember being in the same class as you in our freshman year of high school, and everyone in the class was sick and tired of you two bickering everyday. I thought it’d blow over eventually. How are you still letting this go on?”
You open your mouth to respond but nothing comes out. Of course you’re tired of it. Of course you want it to end. Of course you want nothing to do with Jungwon and you want a peaceful last year of school to focus on your exams and college. Of course you want to be able to hang out with your friends without thinking about Jungwon. Of course you want to write in your diary without mentioning him. Of course you’re sick of this all. But how the hell are you supposed to end it? You hate his guts and he hates yours. His pride may be thick but yours is definitely thicker.
This situation reminds you of the time you did try to be nice to Jungwon once, with the hopes all of this mess would end.
Your mum just got off the phone and suddenly bursted her way into the kitchen. A little startled at her fast movements, you followed her and sat on the counter. “Mum? What’s wrong?” Panicking, she gathered different ingredients and kitchenware to cook something, and you couldn’t be any more confused. “Mum! What’s going on?”
“The Yang family,” she started, already mixing away two eggs, “their son is sick. This is the only time she has ever asked me to do anything, Y/N. That family has looked down on us ever since we moved here, and not once has Mrs Yang ever asked for help. But she’s away, and her boy is at home sick without anyone to feed him. If I don’t make a good impression on that snobby little boy, they’ll think we’re incapable and cruel human beings. I have–”
“Okay, okay,” you laughed, not really thinking much of it. As far as you could care, Jungwon could starve. “As long as I’m not the one delivering it,” you mumbled, leaving the kitchen.
Of course you were the one delivering it.
Releasing a long sigh from the pit of your chest, you tried to put aside your pride and hatred to drop off the tray of food for Jungwon. You tried to remind yourself to have some humanity, that he was sick and alone and needed some food. The only thing that managed to help you push through was imagining him begging on his knees for food from you and you holding the tray away from his sick hands’ reach. A little evil, but it helped you press his doorbell.
When Jungwon opened the door, you could feel your heart sink to the ground. All those mischievous thoughts in your mind about teasing him flew out of your mind as soon as you got a good look at his face. He was extremely pale, and his eyes were red and glassy. He looked frail, like a single touch could knock him over. You gasped when you saw him, and immediately took a step inside to go and help him anyway you could.
“Hey, hey, are you okay?” You asked, placing the back of your palm on his head that was drenched in his sweat. “Oh, my God, you’re boiling. Jungwon, take your coat off.” Placing the tray on the ground, you tried to help him take off his coat but he wouldn’t budge. Looking back at him, he had a disgusted look on his face.
“What the hell are you doing? My mum said you came here to give me food, not baby me.” He shrugged his coat back on to stop it from sliding off his shoulder and snatched the tray up from the ground.
“What? I’m trying to help-”
“Who asked you to? Piss off, Y/N.”
Standing outside of his house, you were shocked. You were just trying to help him. You put aside the feelings you two had towards each other because he was sick. Even sick Jungwon is an asshole, you thought. That was when you made a mental note to never be nice to this guy ever again. He didn't deserve it.
“Y/N?” Sunghoon waves his hand in front of yours, forcing you out of your daydream.
You shake your head, “Oh, sorry. What were you saying?”
Sunghoon stares at you for quite a while without saying anything, letting you scan his features freely. His dark hair extends at the back of his neck, kind of like a mullet, and it suits him a lot. His eyebrows are sharp, and you inwardly frown at how they look better taken care of than yours. His eyes aren’t anything special, but they’re looking at you intently right now; they look heavy, like he has a lot to say. Sunghoon’s lips, however, God you could stare at them forever. They’re so pink and plumpy, he’s definitely a good kisser.
“Are you staring at my lips right now?” Your eyes snap back to Sunghoon’s eyes in horror that he caught you. He laughs at your reaction, so you follow, covering your mouth with a hand. “So what’s the deal with you and Jungwon?” He asks after the two of you have calmed down.
You shrug, wanting to avoid his question since you already ask yourself that every single day. “Nothing, really.”
“So, you just argue for fun? Masochism, I like it.” He chuckles, and you dart your eyes at him. “No, no I’m just saying, if you can’t even tell me why you two argue, what’s the point of doing it?”
It’s a genuine question. It’s a question Yuna has asked you, your teachers have asked you, the other girls in your friend group have asked you, your parents have asked you, but most importantly one that you’ve asked yourself countless times. And you’re annoyed because the answer is there is no answer. You don’t ever remember doing anything to offend Jungwon when he first moved into your neighbourhood or your school. You just remember him being a little shit, thinking he could walk all over and bully you. But your dad brought you up differently, to stand up for yourself. That’s why Jungwon’s always on offence, and you always seem to be on the defence.
“I never start anything,” you look at Sunghoon, and you find it heartwarming how he’s listening so intently, “He’s always the one that approaches me, so I just bite back. If I never did, I would be crushed by now.” You explain, fiddling with the edge of your sleeve.
“So Jungwon’s a bully?” Sunghoon asks, and your body suddenly feels tons heavier. You hate that word, it just doesn’t sound right.
“No, not a bully.”
“Sounds like it.” Sunghoon shrugs. “He’s mean to you so you’re mean back. Except it’s been going on for years.”
You get up from the desk and sit on another, feeling a little uncomfortable with this situation. “Um, I guess? It doesn’t bother me that much. It’s just becoming repetitive at this point. Today’s the first day he didn’t say something stupid. It was relieving, you know.” You explain, a smile unconsciously growing on your lips.
“Don’t worry,” Sunghoon comes over, his wide chest blocking your field of vision, “now that you’ve got me around, he won’t bother you as much.”
-
Dear diary,
I had fun today.
It’s only half way through your diary entry that you notice you didn’t start it off with the infamous “I hate Jungwon.” Actually, reading the entry made you realise how little you even saw him today. The only time you spoke to him was when you were with Sunghoon. How long has it been since the two of you didn’t have a petty argument? You find yourself smiling down at your diary, a wave of relief washing over your body at the thought of Sunghoon being your first step to freedom.
You also find yourself smiling when you started scribbling down how fun your chemistry club was today. You and Sunghoon barely even finished a question, the two of you talking and laughing the entire time. He even promised that if he was ever free, he’d give you occasional free tutoring for chemistry. Life would be so much easier if Jungwon was more like Sunghoon, wouldn’t it?
Somebody should have warned you that your happiness is short lived, because while you were giving Yuna a detailed update of everything to do with Sunghoon, Jungwon’s voice echoed behind you. You promise yourself that one day, you need to creep up behind him and his friends and cut them off because this was really starting to piss you off.
You and Yuna turn around, both you offering him the exact same defeated look.
“That Sunghoon guy,” Jungwon starts, taking slow steps towards you. “Since when did you two get close?”
Yuna scoffs loudly, putting a hand on her hip. “Why? You jealous, Yang?” Yeah, as if he would be. He’s probably jealous of you, seeing that tension between them yesterday.
Jungwon laughs sarcastically before turning back to you so fast you had to flinch your head backwards. He was a little too close for your liking so you stepped back. “Yeah, you wish. No, I’m just asking because he’s an asshole, and I don’t want to have to talk to him every time I wanna annoy you.”
You push his shoulder away from you and laugh in disbelief. “Well, why don’t you just stop trying to annoy me then, huh?” You could tell what you said threw Jungwon off guard a little by the way he twitched his brows. This is the first time you’ve ever seen him take a second to come up with something to say, usually it’s second nature to him. You smirked, thanking God for giving you the upper hand today. “Aww, are you insecure, Jungwon? Does Sunghoon make you insecure?” You ask in that irritating baby voice he always uses on you. “Are you jealous because you’ll never have hair as good as his? Or because you’ll never be as good looking as him? Are you sad that–”
“Y/N, I’m not the one that attracts the opposite sex through pity.”
That shuts you up completely, and your confidence withers to bits. He’s got that same disgusted look on his face as that day you went to visit him. It’s not like he’s never said something as harsh as that before, so you’re not really sure why this is affecting you so much. As embarrassing as it is to admit, that really hurt.
“First, he has to witness how horrible you are at chemistry. Then he saw you speaking to me, and probably felt bad for you. And let’s not even mention your looks.” Jungwon continues, peeling off every layer you’ve been forced to wrap around yourself ever since you met him. Slowly, he’s stripping away your pride, your dignity, and even your self esteem. “You think I’m jealous of a guy that sleeps around so much he probably has STDs? I think our fighting has made you forget that I also get girls, Y/N. I just don’t flout them for attention like he does.”
“Let’s go,” Yuna whispers, tugging on your sleeve. Your eyes are on the ground, unable to meet Jungwon’s. You’ve never felt so insignificant and helpless in front of him before, your body is unable to catch up with all these new emotions. “Come on, Y/N.”
The two of you are walking down the hallway, making your way to the bathroom. Tears are pooling in your eyes, something Jungwon has never managed to make happen. You feel so stupid, so stupid for letting him break you after all these years. All these years you wasted arguing with him almost every single day of your life. For what? What did either of you get out of it? You’ve never even stopped for a second to consider the words that you two were saying to each other, how much you were hurting each other. Well, you doubt you’ve ever really hurt Jungwon. He’s probably jumping up and down right now, cheering at the thought of finally winning. You just hope this means that it’s all over. You’re exhausted.
“Y/N?” Sunghoon’s voice appears just as you’re about to follow Yuna into the bathroom.
You feel your breath grow heavier at the sound of his voice, humiliation rippling throughout your body. Maybe that’s why this affected you so much. Maybe it’s because Jungwon was calling you an idiot for thinking Sunghoon liked you. Because apparently he’s just another popular boy. And because apparently, he's just been fooling you.
“Hey, what’s wrong?” Hurriedly, he walks up to you and places a hand atop your head, his doe eyes boring right into yours. You want to push him away so hard and tell him to go find another girl to play with, but all you can do is stare back at him. “Look, come here.” He pulls you away from the safe space of the female bathroom and right into the disabled ones.
You don’t know why, but as soon as Sunghoon locks the door, your tears start falling against your will. On instinct, you turn away and bring a hand to stop yourself from sobbing audibly. If what Jungwon said is true, you cannot let Sunghoon see you crying. You’ve read enough romance books to know that bad boys love it when a girl is vulnerable. But Sunghoon doesn’t speak; you’re not even sure he moves. The room is silent, albeit your quick breaths and occasional sobs. At this point, you’re just letting your body move on its own. Your mum always tells you it’s best to cry it out, to let your emotions ride out their course. So you decide to stay there and continue to cry into your already soaked hands.
Once you’re done wiping away your cheeks and rubbing your eyes, you make your way to the mirror to see what you look like. If Sunghoon wasn’t in the room you would have cried all over again just from seeing your reflection. “Ugh, I’m a mess.”
Sunghoon giggles, and lifts himself up from leaning against the door to come stand behind you. Gently, he brushes away strands of your hair from your face and fixes your collar for you. “I think,” he makes eye contact with you in the mirror, “you look just fine.”
-
Dear diary,
Unfortunately, I still hate Jungwon.
“No, why are you starting it like that again?” Yuna huffs beside you, probably disappointed at your relapse. It’s been a week since Jungwon made you cry, and it’s been a calm week, too. You never told Sunghoon what happened, but he’s been staying by your side at school since. He likes to call himself your personal bullmastiff, and that he scares away Jungwon who’s only a sheep. Although you’re still terrified that what Jungwon said about Sunghoon being a manwhore is true, there’s still a part of you that hopes it isn’t. You’re hoping he isn’t just hanging around to get in your pants.
“Because I’m mad, Yuna. If we’re really ending this, I can’t be the only one that’s upset about it. I need to think of one final thing to get back at him. Something that will really hurt him.” You explain, really disappointed in how much you’ve been lacking this school year. You haven’t gotten him back once, and it’s frustrating you.
“Hm, what about his motorbike?” Yuna asks, an evil glint to her eyes.
“No.” You shake your head. “No way. I would love to, believe me–”
“So why not?”
“Because his parents would kill me!”
“Oh come on, that bike costs to them what a piece of gum costs to us, Y/N.”
“No, I heard him tell his friend. You know that pervert, Heeseung? Yeah, they were talking about it and Jungwon was saying that it’s from a limited series and that his parents had to fly out to Thailand to bid for it.” You whisper, for some reason you don’t really know. “Thailand, Yuna.”
“Okay, why don’t we wear masks? We can get Sunghoon to help us, too. You know, like them ski masks.” Yuna motions the mask with her hands, a persuasive look on her face. You’re tempted to, you really are. The thought of taking the only thing that Jungwon seems to have human feelings for away from him is very tempting.
“But wait, he wouldn’t know it’s me.”
“Uh, Y/N, that’s a good thing? If he knows it’s you, you’d be sued.”
“Oh, yeah, true.”
“We can enjoy our victory from afar, okay?”
You suck in a deep breath. “Okay.”
-
This may be the worst idea you’ve ever thought of in your entire life.
Here you are, standing in between Sunghoon (who Yuna had to convince for hours to come along) and Yuna. The three of you are wearing your ski masks, but Sunghoon is too much of a cheapskate to buy a new one so he’s wearing his dad’s bright blue mask and making the three of you look stupid.
“Okay, on the count of three–”
“No wait!” Sunghoon’s voice squeaks as he whisper-shouts.
You and Yuna whip your heads into his direction, stunned at his voice crack. “Sunghoon, you’re the only guy here!” You whisper-shout back. “You can’t be the scared one.”
“I have never broken the law before, if I get caught doing this my parents are going to kill me, Y/N.” He panics, yet neither of you can take him seriously with his idiotic mask on.
“What are you talking about? I’m pretty sure you broke about five laws driving us here in your mum’s car.” You snap, before looking at Yuna. “But maybe he’s r–”
“No, guys it’s now or never.” Yuna whispers, before tugging on both yours and Sunghoon’s sleeves, running ahead. Your veins are booming so loud you’re worried someone will be able to hear it. Arriving at the tail of the motorcycle, you raise a trembling finger to touch it. You gasp when you do, already mentally hearing the sounds of sirens coming closer and closer.
Yuna pulls out a hairpin and shoves it into the keyhole of the motorcycle while you and Sunghoon crouch and cower behind her, failing to keep a proper look out. This feels so wrong, but it’s too late to go back now. Sunghoon’s stupid mask is probably plastered all over the CCTVs already. You’ll probably need a miracle to not get yourself landed in prison.
Yuna whimpers as she struggles to switch on the engine. You’re starting to panic even more now, the thought of this all going horribly wrong circling your mind repeatedly. “It’s not working!” She yells, and you and Sunghoon look at each other with wide eyes.
“Go help her!” You motion at him, your heart drumming louder than it ever has before.
“What do you mean go help her, why don’t you go help her?!” Sunghoon doesn't budge and only tightens his hold on the tail of the motorcycle.
“No, I’m keeping look out!”
“No you’re not, you’re looking at me!”
“Will you two shut up and come help me?!” Yuna screams, and you shoot up to go over and help her. It’s useless, though. No matter how much the two of you twist and turn the hairpin, the engine doesn’t turn on. “Why isn’t it working? We practised this like a thousand times!”
“I don’t know! Maybe because it’s a limited edition?!” You scream back, the plan blowing up in your face.
“Fuck!” Yuna slams the head of the bike in anger as you start to lose control of your breaths. “I think I’ve broken the keyhole.”
You groan loudly, closing your eyes to think of a way to fix this. Trying so hard to calm yourself down, you attempt to come up with another plan. It’s either that or the three of you need to escape—now
But as always, Jungwon’s voice interrupts you. His timing is probably his only positive attribute.
“Hey!” He barks at the other end of the road, making you and Yuna look at each other like you’ve seen a ghost. He’s running as fast as he can, so much so you can see his forehead shining under the street lights.
“Let’s ditch the bike!”
“No! We can’t let this all be for nothing!”
“Out of the way ladies!” Sunghoon’s voice appears out of nowhere, and you turn to see him standing over the bike with a large pole in his hands. Oh, my God. Instinctively, you and Yuna jump off the bike and run behind Sunghoon to watch him do his dirty work.
You poke out your head, trying to catch your breath and a glimpse of Jungwon. “He’s close, hurry up!”
“No!” Jungwon screams, reaching his arms out, dread written all over his little baby face. “Stop, please!”
Sunghoon ignores him and draws back the pole before slamming it against the metal of the motorcycle. He hits it again and again, parts flying all over the place each time. He yells at every impact, like he was beating up a person.
Jungwon arrives, and you can't help but notice his breaths are shaky and the strands of hair sticking to his forehead. He pulls Sunghoon away from you and punches him right in the jaw, a roar ripping right from the bottom of his lungs. The light sensors of the neighbouring houses switch on, and some neighbours even come out to take a peek. With the rush of the scene flowing through your veins, and the fear that all of this is for nothing, you pick up the pole that fell out of Sunghoon’s hands and hit the bike yourself. Hearing Jungwon beg like that so helplessly for the first time in your life only fuels your anger even more. Each whack, each hit, your mind flashes back to the times Jungwon hurt you, the times Jungwon forced you to build another wall.
“What’s the point of going to the school dance? It’s not like anybody wants to go with you, anyway.” Whoops, there goes the headlight.
“Oh, my God, you might as well go home if you’re going to be dressed like that the entire trip. Stop embarrassing us.” Oh no, the brake is broken.
“You failed chemistry again? Look, guys, she got 10%! What a loser!” Aw man, now the gas tank is leaking.
Before you can damage the bike anymore, Yuna pulls you back into reality. She’s yelling something at you, but your eyes can’t help but focus on Jungwon struggling against Sunghoon’s hold.
“Please! No, please stop! I’ll give you anything you want, just get away from my bike!”
He’s crying.
Your surroundings suddenly blur as Yuna pulls you towards the car you guys came in. She shoves you in while telling you something but you can’t shift your attention from Jungwon who’s now given up and is laying still on the floor. He isn’t even fighting Sunghoon anymore. He’s just still, the base of his palms rubbing his eyes as his tears roll off his cheeks and fall onto the floor.
You made Jungwon cry. You made Yang Jungwon cry.
-
You're ashamed. You can't even step outside your house without making sure your hood is well over your head, hiding your face for anyone to see. There's no way anyone in the neighbourhood could know that it was you, right? You were completely covered; it could have been any two girls and a guy who smashed Jungwon's precious bike and brought him to tears.
Literal freaking tears.
In all the years you two have fought, Jungwon only ever smiles. He grins, or laughs that really annoying laugh where he throws his head back and stamps his feet on the floor. He pretends to be upset by putting a hand on his heart and squeezing his eyes shut, letting out an exaggerated gasp. He pretends to be mad by putting his hands on his hips and tilting his head so far sideways his hair looks like it's about to fall off. Jungwon is expressive, he enjoys winding you up by acting out his emotions—real or fake—dramatically. You've always hated it, but now you're praying that you're going to meet him on your way to school and he'll pretend to whine about how much you hurt him last night.
You shift your weight from one foot to the other, waiting at the end of the road for Jungwon to appear. You're not really sure why. What are you even going to say if you see him? You can't even apologise for what you've done, his parents would definitely put you behind bars. The wait is killing you, impatience stirring in your stomach at an outrageous speed. Gulping, you contemplate whether you should go knock on his door or not. Maybe he's oversleeping because he's tired from last night. Maybe if you knock, he'll wake up and nag at you for babying him like he did before.
Without really thinking, you head straight to his front door step with your bottom lip tucked between your teeth. Breathing in, you press the doorbell. His house is huge, and the noise the doorbell makes almost frightens you out of your skin. The loud ring echoes in your mind loudly as you tap your foot on the ground and keep your eyes locked onto the door. You press it again. And again. And again.
And then you wait.
But Jungwon never comes out. Nobody does. Not him, his sister or his parents. You're even hoping some sort of maid will come and open the door. But nobody does. You're trying not to overthink the situation: maybe he's just being a teenage boy and angry that his bike is broken so he's decided to skip school today.
The thought calms you down a little bit, so you turn around to leave. While turning back to the entrance, something shiny catches your eye around the corner of Jungwon's front yard. Curious, you scuttle towards it and poke your head around to see what it is. Your heart drops when you do. There it is. Jungwon's motorcycle that you smashed to pieces last night. Laying next to it, is an open box of tools, an unfinished cup of coffee, and Jungwon's jacket that he always wears under his blazer. The guilt at the pit of your stomach spreads around your body, squeezing your heart and scraping at your throat. Did he really stay up all night trying to fix it all by himself?
Did you go too far?
-
"Come on, you're being weird." Sunghoon crosses his arms, not shifting his gaze away from you.
Usually, you appreciate his attentiveness because it makes you feel special and gets you all shy, but today it isn’t doing you any good. You chuckle breathlessly and pull the sheet of paper towards you. "So I just need to calculate the mass of this mole, right? Using this equation?"
Sunghoon sighs, "Y/N, you know you can tell me what's wrong, right?"
You look up to meet his heavy gaze, his face already so close to yours. "No? Just because you chose to follow me around at school doesn't mean we're best friends, Sunghoon. It doesn't mean I can pour my heart out to you."
His expression doesn't falter, a blank look sitting on his face. "Then what are we?"
You pause, not really knowing how to answer that question. You're aware that he gives you butterflies, and that you find him attractive. But what about what Jungwon said about him sleeping around? Hasn't Sunghoon stayed around long enough for it to be more than that? Or is that all you guys are - good friends? But then why would Sunghoon ask that question?
Confused and already emotionally drained from your crime yesterday, you scrunch up the question sheet in your hand and get up from your chair. Without saying a word to Sunghoon, you leave.
-
At home, you’re lying on your couch, flicking through the channels on the television. Nothing is exciting you since you can’t seem to pay attention to anything. There are only two things on your mind right now. Jungwon and Sunghoon.
As for Jungwon, you can’t stop picturing him in that little alleyway beside his house—sweating away, hurting himself trying to fix his motorcycle. He’s probably not eaten any real food in awhile, desperate to get it back to how it was before you and Yuna came up with that stupid plan. You groan into your hands, thinking about how you never thought you’d live to see the day you’d feel bad for Jungwon. Doesn’t he deserve this? Why does this bike mean so much to him? He can just fly out to Thailand and buy another one, right?
Then your thoughts suddenly shift to Sunghoon. If he really is the manwhore Jungwon pinned him out to be, how come he’s been nothing but supportive since you and Jungwon stopped talking to each other? There are no girls, you can’t see them. The only way it would be possible is if he has this whole other life outside of school. The partying, drinking and sex type of life. He said he’s never broken the law before, but he seemed pretty confident driving his mum’s car with one hand on the wheel and another on the radio. Do you even know Sunghoon? Sure, he’s a science nerd and likes to ice skate. But what else is there to him?
You sigh when the sound of the doorbell interrupts your thoughts. It’s 10pm, who could possibly be ringing at this time of night? Groggily, you get up, fixing your bun so you look a bit more appropriate for whoever it is that’s ruining your free time. Peering through the peephole, you’re only met with a man in a black hood who’s purposefully hiding his face from the door. A little worried, you call your mum over. “Mum! There’s a creepy man at the door!”
She hops out of the kitchen with a meat knife in one hand, a frying pan in the other and a terrified look on her face. “You take the knife,” she whispers, “and hide behind me while I hold the pan and see what this guy wants.”
“Wait, why am I holding the knife?” You point at yourself, your mum’s behaviour starting to affect you, too.
The doorbell rings again and you both flinch. “Because if he sees the knife in my hand he might attack. So you hide behind me, okay? I’m just going to open the door like an inch wide, don’t worry.” Her eyes are wide while she tries to convince you to follow through with her not-well-thought out plan.
You do anyway. “Okay.”
You take the knife from your mum before the two of you sneak towards the door. Hesitantly, she opens it, and the thought of her life being taken right before you flashes in your mind for a second. Right before she lets out a relieved laughter, a hand on her chest. “It’s just the Yangs’ kid, Y/N. Don’t scare me like that again.”
Jungwon? What the hell is he doing here? You poke your head out from beside her and see Jungwon looking down at his feet that are awkwardly kicking the floor. “I didn’t know it was him, sorry.” You mutter, furrowing your brows at him.
“I am so sorry, Jungwon. Is there something you need?” Your mum asks, widening the door. When he looks up, you can’t help but cringe. His eye bags are heavy, and his lips are so chapped they’re peeling. Not to mention how red and sore his eyes are, he’s struggling to even keep them open. He’s worse than the time you went to give him the tray of food. You don’t even realise that you two are staring at each other silently until your mum speaks up again. “Is something wrong?”
His eyes quickly divert to your mum’s and he clears his throat aggressively. “No, uh, I just wanted to know if your husband is here.”
Your mum shakes her head, “No, he’s visiting his brother right now. He won’t be back for a few days.”
“Can you call him?” You don’t think you’ve ever seen Jungwon speak so meekly before. It’s odd, and the thought that you may have broken him makes your toes curl.
“Yes, yes, what do you want me to say?”
“How to fix a motorcycle brake. I remember that he had one a few years ago, so I thought he’d know.”
“Oh! Was it your motorbike that got smashed by those teenagers?” Jungwon nods, his eyes falling to the ground again. “Ms Jung showed me her CCTV cameras and how horrible those kids were. Their parents really need to sort them out.” She tuts, pulling out her phone.
Even your mum is disgusted by your behaviour last night. Of course she is, what you did was way out of line. You play with your fingers as the guilt travels further, making you a lot more jittery than usual. “My dad’s break broke once and he showed me how to fix it. I can, uh, help if you want.” It’s the least you can do, an easy repair, indirectly apologise, and throw away this stupid guilt so you can focus on getting your school life back on track. Maybe after you help him fix his bike, the two of you can finally be even and put your pettiness in the past once and for all.
Jungwon only looks you in the eyes, not saying anything. They remind you of Sunghoons’; loud and heavy.
“Oh, okay, that’s perfect. You go and help him. I’ll bring some snacks later.” Your mum pushes you out of the house, and you curse her for doing so when all you’re wearing is a hoodie, a pair of cycling shorts, and slippers. “Bye!” She waves, shutting the door in your face before you can even speak.
Well, this is awkward. Turning around, you try to put on a smile to Jungwon, but his eyes flicker straight from your eyes to your mouth before he storms back to his house. You follow him with a huff, realising that this is going to be a long hour. Catching up to him, you throw your hood over your head and stuff your hands in your pockets to try and stay warm. “So,” you start, trying to get straight to the point, “if we’re lucky, all you’ll need to do is clean the pistons. You know, those little metal things that open and close w-”
“I know what a piston is.” He grumbles, opening his gate. “I would have done that if that girl didn’t smash it off my bike.”
Your eyes lower as he unknowingly mentions you, and try to shake off the feeling of guilt again. You never would have guessed this would have hurt him this much. But then again, isn’t that what you wanted? “Oh,” you chuckle awkwardly, “well then this is gonna take a long time.”
The two of you arrive at the corner, and that’s when you notice there are three more cups of coffee lying next to the bike. You purse your lips, trying to throw away the imagination of him desperately attempting to stay awake, pushing his body well past its limits all in order to fix what you broke.
“Okayyy,” you whisper, copying Jungwon by getting on your knees, followed by a hiss once you feel the cold rocky ground. Clearing your throat, you turn to him, who still has an emotionless look on his face. You really wish he would do something right now. You wouldn’t even mind it if he made fun of you. Staring at him like this, like an empty shell, is too much to bear. “So, where’s the brake?” You put out your hand, and Jungwon complies by giving it to you. Observing it, you’re relieved that it hasn’t been damaged too much, and that it’s okay to put it back on the bike. “First, we need to take the callipers off the bike.” You don’t explain what it is this time, since he got agitated when you did it before. “Should I do one side and you do the other?”
He nods, so you crawl over to the other side, and together, the two of you start working on the bike.
After around twenty minutes of silent working, you decide to ask a question that’s been on your mind since the second you saw him cry. “Jungwon?” You ask. He doesn’t respond, but you know that he hears you. “Why don’t you just get your parents to buy you another one?”
It takes him a while to reply, you assume he’s just busy with the clamps. “They can’t. There’s no more on sale.”
You’re aware that it sounds a bit harsh, but you still push. “Can’t they just buy another brand?”
Jungwon’s eyes meet yours through the tiny gaps between the motorcycle parts. “I don’t want another one.”
You sigh at his vague responses. “Okay, what about hiring someone to come and fix your bike? Or getting a friend, literally anyone-”
Abruptly, Jungwon throws the clamp onto the floor, the ring of the metal bouncing around your skull. “I didn’t ask you to come and help, you know? You offered. If you don’t want to, there’s nothing stopping you from leaving.” He spits, his eyes piercing into yours angrily.
You put your hands up in a feign defence. “I’m sorry, I was just asking.” You mutter under your breath, a little shocked at his reaction. “I’m okay with fixing the bike, it just looked like you didn’t wanna ask so I was telling you there are other options.”
Jungwon sighs, before picking up the clamp and getting back to work. “I know.” He mumbles, and you can hear the piston creaking under the pressure of his clamp hold. “I know there are other options, but I don’t trust any of them with this bike. I’ve known your dad for a while and I remember how much he cared about his bike, so I thought I’d just ask him to help.” The thought of Jungwon trusting your dad over his creepy friends makes you feel a lot better, but the sound of the piston about to snap distracts you.
Crawling back over, you return to Jungwon’s side. You don’t even notice that your thighs are touching each other when you reach out to take the clamp from his hands. He looks at you a little alarmed, but you respond with an awkward smile. “You’re putting too much pressure. You have to unstick one piston at a time, if you do it like that it’ll snap.” You explain, opting to do it yourself to save some time.
“How come you know how to fix a break?” He asks randomly, startling you a little bit.
You stay focused while you answer him, your eyes not moving from the clamp. “Sometimes my dad teaches me things like this. He says he does it because he doesn’t have a son.”
“What other things has he taught you?”
Since this is the first real conversation you’ve ever had with Jungwon, you decide not to question why he cares about your relationship with your dad so much. “How to ride a bike, how to play football, how to put up a shelf, how to fix a laptop that’s had water spilled on it.” You giggle at the last one, memories piling into your head. Jungwon doesn’t say anything else so you turn around to see why. He’s just staring at your hands working with the clamp, so you choose to fill in the tense silence. “The time he broke his break, he called me over while I was studying. I told him that it’s not important since a motorcycle break and a bike break are two completely different things and that this would never come in handy.” You face Jungwon again, and his eyes meet yours. “Turns out it did come in handy.”
There’s a moment, a long moment of comfortable silence with the two of you staring at each other. For the first time, you notice the shape of his eyes and how delicately pulled out they are. They’re kind of pretty, in a boyish sort of way. You can’t really believe you’ve been staring at these eyes for the past eight years without ever finding yourself swimming in them until now.
Jungwon scoffs, breaking eye contact before taking a sip of his coffee. “I’m surprised you didn’t turn out heavy handed since you were basically brought up as a boy,” he mutters against the cup.
With that, you unconsciously suck in such a deep breath of air. A wave of relief washes over your body as you let out an incredibly loud laugh at his comment. There he is, the asshole that is Yang Jungwon. You seriously thought you broke him, but hearing him say something so rude wiped away any and all of your doubt.
He’s back. And you couldn’t be more than happy about it.
-
Walking into school the next day, you’re a little bit anxious. You’re anxious because:
You might bump into Sunghoon and he might start asking scary questions again
You might bump into Jungwon and have to start fighting again
You don’t want either of those scenarios to happen. So when Sunghoon spots you and says goodbye to his friends, you panic and pull onto your friend’s sleeve. “Quick, pretend we’re having a really serious and private conversation.”
She panics and tries to think of something to say. “Uh, I made out with Sunghoon at Ryujin’s party!” With her eyes shut, in front of everyone in the hallway, your friend, Chaeryeong, admitted to sleeping with Sunghoon. You spot him from the corner of your eye, freezing once he heard what Chaeyoung said, and you wait for him to come over and ask why you two are making up shit about him. He doesn’t.
“Are you being serious right now? I said pretend, Chaeryeong.” Your hand slips away from hers as you look at her in pure disbelief.
“I’m sorry, it’s been on my mind a lot recently because he’s been hanging out with you so much. So when you said say something serious, that was the first thing I could think of.” She rushes, clearly panicked by your response.
“Wait,” you take a step closer to whisper, “When was this? Recently?”
She gives you a worried look, before turning around to see Sunghoon and then turning back to you. “Last, uh, Saturday?”
Saturday. Last Saturday. That was only four days ago. Four days ago you were FaceTiming him while he was helping you with your physics homework. Four days ago was when you asked if he could help you finally get over the Jungwon situation, and he told you that he really wanted to help because he couldn’t stand to see you so hurt. Four days ago was when you told Yuna you think you have a crush on him.
Stepping away, you give one last glance at Sunghoon. “I can't believe you,” you mutter, before turning around and storming away. You tell yourself the reason why you didn’t go up to him and scream in his face is because of the attention you would have gained, but it isn’t; you’re too scared to face him because you were already warned about him ages ago. As funny as it sounds, you should have listened to Jungwon.
-
“What?! Chaeryeong? Our Chaeryeong?” Yuna chokes on her water, surprised.
“Yeah,” you sigh, scribbling away in your notebook. “I’m not really bothered about that, I mean she can sleep with whoever she wants. It’s just, I really thought there was something between me and Sunghoon.”
Yuna kisses her teeth before shaking her head. “Even I thought there was. Why is he always with you if he’s sleeping with other girls?” Her body simultaneously shivers with yours. “That’s just gross.”
“Maybe he just sees me as a friend. You know in those romance books where the hot guy who gets all the girls appreciates the girl who doesn’t wanna have sex with him and likes hanging around with her?”
“Y/N, they always end up falling in love.”
“Oh. Well, that’s not happening, is it?” You slouch in your seat.
Jungwon walks into the room, and you smile at Yuna, happy to know that he’s back on his feet. You wait for him to say the same thing he always does when he walks past you to get to his seat. Anxiously, your foot taps on the ground as you nibble on your bottom lip, your eyes not moving from Jungwon’s.
Yuna taps you and leans in to whisper, “You can see it now, right?” Her eyebrows giggle, a huge smirk on her lips.
You cringe at what she said, refusing to let her silly thoughts get to your head. “Shut up,” you mutter, before turning back to see Jungwon talking to another classmate. You hate to admit it, but your eyes do linger on him a little longer. You can’t help but notice the long, dark strands of hair that almost cover his eyes. His nose and jawline are sharp, contrary to his soft and small lips. Your eyes trail down to his Adam's apple as he speaks, and you watch as it bobs up and down attentively. It’s strange that you’ve known Jungwon for so long, yet you’ve never actually taken the time out of your day to really look at him. Because he’s actually really good looking.
“See?” Yuna giggles, slapping your arm playfully. “You’re staring.”
Your head darts to her direction with wide eyes. “I’m just waiting for him to come over.”
“Nu-uh, you’re finally listening to me. I told you he gets girls.” She motions for you to lean in closer while she whispers. “Last year, I peeked into his locker on Valentine’s Day, and I counted thirteen letters, Y/N. Thir-teen.”
Thirteen girls gave Jungwon a love letter last year? You scoff, resting your chin on your palm as you look at him again. If they knew what you knew, that Jungwon is a total asshole, you bet they’d run far away from him. “I don’t get it. Is it just because of his looks? Are they that shallow?”
Yuna shrugs from beside you. “Well, I’ve heard a lot of good things about him.”
You laugh sarcastically, “Are you gonna talk about the time he helped that one new student when she dropped her books on the floor again?”
“Well, there’s that. But there are other things, too, that I’ve tried to tell you but you just turn down because you hate him so much. Like the time he stopped a boy from getting bullied. It was so cool, Y/N, he just shoved the bully in his shoulders and looked him right in the eyes and told him to fuck off.”
Something twists in your stomach at that word. It reminds you of when Sunghoon asked if
Jungwon is just a bully. You can’t be staring at him now, talking about all the good deeds he’s done and why all the girls in your school have a crush on him. He’s mean. He’s insulted you, belittled you, degraded you. You could go on and on about all the times Jungwon has hurt you and laughed in your face whenever he did. He’s a selfish, spoiled rich kid that derives entertainment from picking on you. And like all your friends warn you not to do, you react, dragging it out longer. Maybe if you just stayed silent in the first place, this would have never continued for so long.
Blinking, you suddenly realise that Jungwon is batting his eyes at you right in front of your face. You gasp, furrowing your eyes and jerking back once you realise how close his face is to yours. Shit, you spaced out and he caught you staring.
“What you staring at, number 23?” He asks, his old grin back on his face.
“Number 23?”
“Class ranks are up on the board.” He explains, and your heart drops to your feet when you realise what he’s saying. “You know,” Jungwon gets up, hands in his pockets as he peers down at you with that familiar evil glint in his eyes. “I thought signing you up for chemistry club would at least get you into the teens. But you only moved up one spot? One?”
Okay, you may have wanted normal Jungwon back, but did his first strike have to be so harsh? Getting up, you realise your legs are trembling. Something inside of you is telling you not to bite back this time, that it’s not worth it. If you truly want this war to end, then you have to be the bigger person and back down. Pursing your lips, you simply walk past him to follow the crowd of students into the hallway to see the class rankings.
“Oh. My. God, Y/N. You should have seen the look on his face!” Yuna laughs, but you can’t join her. It was embarrassing to let him talk down to you like that. You wish you said something, but this needs to end. This is the first step you need to take.
“Let’s just focus on our class rankings for now.” You say, approaching the wall.
Although Jungwon made fun of your rank, you have to hide a smile when you see it. It’s not high at all, but at least you’ve improved. With everything that’s been going on recently, you need something positive to cling onto. You pull out your phone to call your mum about your improvement, excited to hear about how proud she’ll be.
But a voice from behind stops you. You can feel the heat of his body so close to yours, and your heart immediately starts doing backflips. “23rd? That means I’m going to have to spend a lot more time tutoring you, right?” His voice is uplifted, and that pisses you off even more.
Turning around, you furrow your brows and fold your arms. “Really? Are you just going to pretend that–”
Sunghoon, with his hands buried in his pockets and his lips pursed, shrugs. “I asked you what we are, and you just left.”
That is very true. You did, quite rudely, leave. You erased that part of your day from your mind, and even avoided writing it down in your diary. All you needed was time, because the following week was when you and Yuna figured out what your feelings are towards him. Sighing, you answer. “I know.”
“I helped you break–” he pulls on your blazer to drag the two of you away from the crowd as he leans in to whisper, “I helped you break Jungwon's bike. I know you think that that's a normal thing for a guy like me, but it isn't. I don't go around, smashing people's things, you know. I did that for you, and all I got was a little thank you text.”
Everything he's saying is true, and that's frustrating you further.
“You can't be mad about who I sleep with, Y/N. I've been hovering around for so long, and still, the only guy you think of is Jungwon.”
“What are you even hanging around for, though? Jungwon he-he told me that you treat girls like trophies. I thought–” The eye contact Sunghoon holds with you is intense, he doesn't turn away once. You're too scared to break it because you've never seen him this serious before.
“So you believed him over me? Someone that you ‘hate’ over a friend? You didn't even bring that up with me, Y/N!" He whisper-shouts, pressing an arm against the lockers beside him so that he can lower his head to meet yours. “You need to ask yourself what's your deal with Jungwon, because I'm not sure you really know what it is.” Gently, he lets go of your blazer and dusts it down with his hands, causing you to blush intensely.
“You're gonna keep me up all night because of this, now, you know that, right?” You chuckle sarcastically, keeping your eyes on his hand that's lingering above yours.
He chuckles back, “I know.” His hand stops hovering, and goes back to his pocket.
Looking up at him, you smile endearingly. “We can still be friends, right? Even if whatever this is doesn't sort out the way we want it to, you'll still be my friend.”
"Ayyyyy,” Sunghoon laughs, but it seems forced, and presses a finger into your shoulder. “You're just saying that for the free tutoring lessons.”
-
Dear diary,
I hate Jungwon.
You groan into your arms after you realise what you've just written, disappointed in yourself. It's embarrassing to admit that Sunghoon is right, that Jungwon is constantly on your mind. If it's not the awful things he's said, or the stupid pranks he's played, then it's the way he puckers his lips together when he snorts out a laugh, or the way he wiggles his eyebrows at you to try and piss you off. You've probably never even scratched the surface of Jungwon's mind, yet he somehow lives in yours constantly.
A ping from your phone distracts you from your thoughts.
jung_1: my tire popped
you: and?
jung_1: use your daddy skills to come and fix it
you: if u think u can jus tell me what to do ???? then you're vv wrong :/
jung_1: u came before what's wrong this time?
you: im busy
jung_1: so am i but i can't get anything done without my bike
you: u need to get it checked out professionally
ik u have some weird attachment issues to it but fixing the brakes and tires isn't enough to get that thing up and running again
jung_1: well, miss 23, unlike u i have a brain
fixing everything one at a time v slowly will work eventually
patience is key
so can u jus come already
you: what's in it for me?
jung_1: idk wtf
food?
you: do i look like a dog to u
jung_1: idk??? u name it ill get whatever u want
you: ok fine whatever
After you get dressed to go to Jungwon's house, you scribble one last thing into your diary before you go.
Let's hope that when I come back, I won't be saying that I hate him again.
-
With a bag of food from your mum to give to Jungwon's parents, you ring his doorbell hesitantly. You will never get over the difference between your house and his despite the fact that you two live just a few houses away from each other. While yours is small and cosy with a garden full of roses and apple trees, Jungwon's stands tall—so modern that it doesn't even have a front garden, it's all just rock hard concrete.
Opening the door you're met with a sour face when Jungwon looks you up and down. “What's that?” He asks, pointing at your carrier bag.
You inwardly sigh, reminding yourself of the trouble he's putting himself through because of you. “Homemade kimbap.” You hand it to him and he takes it cautiously, eyeing the bag like you hid a bomb in it. “Relax, my mum made it.”
Jungwon's head pops right up when you say that, and you swear his lips are trying their best not to pull up into a smile. Clearing his throat, however, he returns to his normal bitter expression and brushes his hair out of his gaze. “Whatever, come inside while I get dressed.”
It's only when Jungwon mentions it that you look down and notice that he’s only wearing a pair of underwear. Making a mental note to never visit a teenage boy's house unannounced again, you awkwardly hop inside and sit on the kitchen counter that he directs you to wait at.
While Jungwon is away, you're left with the housemaid. You've always guessed that they had one, yet you've never seen her leave the house before. Anyone could mistake this for slavery, how scary.
“Are you Jungwon's friend?” She asks, opening the bag of kimbap that you brought. You nod, deciding it's best not to explain your confusing and infuriating situation to Jungwon's housemaid, and she smiles endearingly, taking out the food. “I'm surprised. He's only ever brought those two hooligans over.”
“Jeongseong and Heeseung?” You ask, chuckling.
She laughs with you at the mention of Jungwon's awful friends who you are secretly afraid of. “They're like Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum, them two. It's nice to see that some of his friends are sane.” As soon as she unwraps and sees the food, however, the housemaid gasps, a repelled look on her face.
“Is everything okay?” You ask, worried.
“Jungwon can't eat this, it isn't fresh.”
You open your mouth to explain that it had only just been cooked a few hours ago, but choose not to. This is Jungwon's rich and snobby lifestyle, there's no point arguing with someone who knows him a lot better than you do.
“What a waste,” she sighs, “I'll just have to throw it away.” You really want to yell at the woman for disrespecting your mother's food, but the thought of Jungwon's parents catching you screaming at their trusted maid through a secret camera and suing you scares you too much to do so.
But just before she's able to throw it away, Jungwon appears in a zipped up coat and joggers, an arm in front of the bin. “No, no, no, no, Mrs Kim, it's okay.” He says softly, a hand resting on her back as he smiles at her.
Smiles. Like, really smiles. He's acting so gentle around her it's scaring you. Lightly, he takes the dish from her hands and settles it on the middle counter opposite you. He doesn't look up, he just opens the tinfoil and lets his jaw drop slightly at the kimbap your mum forced you to roll for him. You'll never let him know that, though.
“Jungwon, it isn't fresh, you'll get sick.” Mrs Kim retorts, but he's already digging one out. You and Mrs Kim both silently watch Jungwon eat his food contently, and you hate to say it but he eats in such a cute way. His cheeks puff out and he takes such small nibbles of the food, like he's savouring it all.
“Your mum made this?” He asks, his eyes wide.
A little thrown off by him, you play with the strings of your jacket. “Uh, yeah. She just told me to bring this when I said I was coming over.” You answer awkwardly. He isn’t throwing any insults at you, and that’s something you still haven’t gotten used to.
He raises his brows while nodding, continuing to eat his food, leaving you and Mrs Kim standing beside each other in an odd silence. That is, until she leans in to whisper something to you. “He’s never eaten my kimbap so happily before, I wonder what your mum put in this one.” There’s a scowl on her face as bitterness lingers around her words.
You chuckle breathlessly, not really sure why Jungwon’s devouring your mum’s kimbap either. “It’s nothing special.”
Jungwon eyes the two of you before mumbling, “Stop staring.” and grabbing the rest of the food and making his way towards the door. You hesitantly scuttle behind him after giving Mrs Kim an undeserved bow. What a rude woman.
“How’d you pop it?” You ask, staring at the tire in horror as you realise the inner tube is punctured and this is going to be a very long job.
He chuckles, rubbing his hand at the nape of his neck, “Uh, I left my glass out and when I was pushing the bike it kinda just rolled over it.”
Sighing, you give him a defeated expression, “Seriously? You just added to the list of things that I’ve already broken.”
“What?”
You have to stop your breath for a second in order to hide the look of down right fear on your face as you almost slipped the crime you committed. “List of things that need fixing, I mean.” You shake your head and tut, trying to act out feign annoyance. Slowly, you peer over to Jungwon to see if he’s caught on, and he’s just staring blankly. Clearing your throat, you decide changing the topic is your best option right now. “Uhm, do you have a puncture kit?”
Jungwon, after a very long staredown, eventually replies and hands over the kit to you. You have to thank the skies for not throwing you under the bus because that was way too close. Even your hands are shaking a little as you open the kit and get on your knees, the nerves making you very tense. You don’t even have the courage to start up a conversation, and so the two of you work in silence like you did the last time.
After about an hour in, Jungwon speaks up. “My parents bought this for me.”
Ignoring the way you jumped at the way his voice suddenly appeared out of nowhere, you scoff. “Well, it’s not like you’ve had to work a day in your life to earn enough money to buy this.”
The dark haired boy huffs, clearly vexed. “No, I mean, they actually bought it. Like it wasn’t just a written cheque, or money into my bank account, or bought online. They flew to Thailand with me to buy it.” He explains, and when you turn to him, his eyes are boring into yours.
“Okay, and?” You chuckle again, not really paying much mind to his words and focusing on your work instead. It’s just a bike, what is he trying to say that’s so important?
Abruptly, he brings his hand to his laps and flashes you an offended look. Worried that you’ve pressed the wrong buttons, you stop too, quietly letting him continue. “You asked why I only wanted your dad’s help. I’m answering you, okay?”
“Okay, I get it.”
“It’s- they don’t do that, they don’t go out with me for..me.” You still don’t have a clue what he’s talking about, but you nod anyway. “This bike, it’s the only reminder I have at this point that my parents love- not love, but, ugh, you know what I mean.” He rambles, playing with the strings of his tracksuit bottoms nervously.
Trying your very best to put the pieces together, you tilt your head and ask, “You don’t think your parents love you?”
“I mean, yeah,” he panics, “I’m sure they do, but they’re not like your parents, for example.”
“My parents?” Well, now you’re really lost.
Jungwon sighs, averting his gaze from you to the bike. “You know, like my dad never taught me the things yours did. My parents never dropped me off to school like yours did. My mum doesn’t even know how to cook..” He mumbles, his voice slowly drifting off with each sentence.
“Jungwon,” you furrow your brows, “Have you been..comparing your parents to mine all these years?” Now that you think about it, there have been many times where you would be talking to your parents, and from the corner of your eye you’d stop Jungwon staring. You’ve always brushed it off, not wanting to think about the boy any more than you needed to, but now you’re thinking that maybe you should have. It’s common knowledge that money doesn’t buy you happiness, and you and Yuna have always blamed Jungwon’s lavish lifestyle for his bitchiness. But loneliness? That’s something you’ve never associated with him.
Jungwon lets out a groan, before picking up a screwdriver again. “No.” He mutters under his breath, before turning his back to you completely.
Not wanting to prod at the situation any further, you hesitantly get back to work, too.
It’s been three hours since the two of you started working on the bike. Out of fear that Jungwon had caught on to what you said about you being the culprit, you tried helping him fix the other parts of the motorcycle, too. (Albeit your lack of knowledge of how to do so.) The alleyway has been silent for hours, the only noises were your uncomfortable giggles, shaky breaths and your nails tapping against anything they could find. Jungwon didn’t ask about your slip up, so you are hoping to God that he has no doubt about you because that would just be a one way ticket to jail.
You don’t even realise that it’s 8pm, dark, and absolutely freezing until you find yourself shivering and brushing up your hands against your bare arms. Jungwon probably hears your chattering teeth as he looks over and juts his chin out at you. “You cold?” He asks, expressionless.
You nod immediately, standing up to stretch your legs and shake them to circulate some warmth around you. The only light the two of you have is the spotlight above you and it’s wearing out a little, making it difficult to see. “Just a little.”
Jungwon eyes your outfit, “You should have brought a coat,” he mutters, before doing the absolute unexpected.
Slack-jawed, you watch Jungwon unzip his puffer coat and hand it to you like it was normal for him to do so. With furrowed brows, you stand still, trying to find the catch behind his actions. “What?” He grumbles. “You’d rather freeze?”
Crossing your arms, you laugh at him. Seeing your breath fog up in the air, you start to reconsider declining his offer. “The last time you offered me a coat, Jungwon, it was from a dumpster. Everyone laughed at me because I had no idea and I wore it the entire PE session.” You explained, hoping he’d catch on to your lack of trust in him.
“Well, this isn’t from a dumpster, so just take it.” His arm is still extended, but you can’t bring yourself to take it from him.
“Just because I’ve come over to help you a few times,” you glare at him, “it doesn’t mean we’re friends now. This isn’t enough for me to forget everything you’ve done to me, Jungwon.” Saying this out loud to him for the first time feels weird. Neither of you have ever confronted each other about your situation. It’s always been avoided.
Jungwon pulls his arm back towards him, before taking a few steps towards you. “I never said we’re friends, just take the fucking coat.” He curses aggressively, making you flinch a little.
But the two of you are fully aware that you won’t back down from anything without a fight. “I don’t want your coat, Jungwon. It’s bad enough that I’m here, fixing something that you have enough money to do yourself. I don’t need your stupid pity either.”
Chuckling in disbelief, Jungwon rolls his eyes and shoves the coat into your arms. “Again, all I asked was for you to fix the tire. You chose to stay longer. I told you last time that you’re more than welcome to leave if you don’t wanna be here!” He yells at you.
Jungwon has never shouted at you before. It’s always been snarky comments and childish insults. This is new, and you’re not really sure how to react to it.
“Fine! I will leave! I can’t believe I fucking rolled that kimbap for you myself because I was scared you hadn’t eaten anything.” You shout back, throwing his coat on the floor before storming to his gate. “You’re never going to change, are you?” You mumble, while trying to open his gate.
Suddenly, you feel Jungwon’s hand belligerently pull your shoulder back so you can face him as his fingers tightly grip around your upper arm. His face is merely inches away from yours, eyes piercing right through you like a new found anger has lit inside of him. “I’ve not changed? I literally just offered you my coat.”
“Oh, wow, you’re such a saint, Jungwon.” You seethe, despite the fear running through your blood at the intensity of his glare. “What about me? Huh? I helped you fix half of your bike, I put up with the shitty chemistry club stunt you pulled on me, I helped make your food-”
“And I am trying my best to return the favour!” He snaps again, letting go of your arm.
It’s not until then that you notice a delivery driver parked right outside of Jungwon’s house. Looking over at him, you notice the bags of food in his hands as he awkwardly smiles at the two of you. Your gaze shifts between Jungwon and the driver a few times. “You ordered this?” You ask, pointing at the man who's given up smiling and is now impatiently waiting for you both to collect your food. “For us?”
“I don't like burgers.” He spits, picking up his coat off the ground to pull out his wallet.
While Jungwon is apologising and paying the delivery driver, you stare at your feet in regret. That was way too stubborn of you. Jungwon really was just trying to be helpful by giving you his coat, but you were too prideful to take it. You thought you were better than this, you thought you were better than him. Maybe this issue has always been a two-sided conflict and you've just been too angry to see otherwise.
“Here,” he hands you the bag, and this time you take it reluctantly.
Pulling out the box to open it, you're met with a fresh little burger meal. It's not much. Hell, it's nothing at all since you're sure Jungwon can afford way more than this cheap rubbish. But it still warps a guilt around your body so twisted you feel too sick to eat the meal.
A gasp falls from your lips as soon as it hits you; as soon as the realisation of why the bike Jungwon adores so much hits you. He’s connected to it emotionally. It’s the only form of love he’s ever gotten. And you broke it. You can’t believe you broke something so precious to someone. The silence is thick. You can't bring yourself to look at him. There's only one thing running through your mind right now.
He deserves to know what you did.
Your chest feels heavy as Jungwon goes back to sitting on the ground and working on his bike. Agitation punches at your heart while its beats echoes around your head.
He needs to know what you did.
Biting your nails, you turn around to face him. He's been working so hard for days, and it's all because of you. You went too far, and he's paying the consequences—when it should be you. Clearing your throat, you waste no time telling him.
“I did it.”
Jungwon's hands stop moving, but his gaze remains on the motorcycle.
“I broke your..I broke your motorbike.” You say hurriedly before nibbling on your bottom lip. He still doesn't move. “It wasn't just me, but I did pretty much most of it.”
You wait for him to lash out and scream at you, to call the police and have you locked away for life. You wait for him to cry, or yell, or insult you. Anything. But instead he does nothing.
He just quietly says. “Get out.”
“Jungwon, I'm so sorry, I wanted to tell–”
“I said get out.” His voice is low and empty.
“I–”
He cuts you off by darting his head towards your direction and glowering at you. So you decide to leave.
-
Dear diary,
I messed up. Big time.
With not enough energy in your system to write anymore in your diary due to the hours of homework you’ve just spent, you pull out your phone instead. Opening Instagram, you decide to aimlessly scroll through your friends’ stories.
First up is Ryujin—dolled up and singing into the camera with a few other girls you mildly recognise. There must be a party, you think. Swiping, you see a picture of Yeji and her boyfriend with red paper cups in their hands, smiling really cheesily. You chuckle at the photo, swiping up and replying to her story with “couple goals fr”. The next video on Yeji’s story, however, forces you to sit up in your chair.
While it seems like a normal video of a normal high school party with Yeji and Jisu dancing away and screaming to the music, your eyes can’t help but wander to the person dancing by themself in the background.
Yang Jungwon. And he’s alone.
This throws you off completely, because from the few parties you’ve visited and from what you’ve seen on people’s stories, Jungwon’s always been one of the lives of the party. He’s always in his huge group of school friends, dancing in the middle of the room, screaming into the microphones, spraying people with water guns. Jungwon was in fact one of the reasons you don’t go to parties often, because you can’t escape his loud personality. So seeing him in the corner, alone, with a bland expression on his face, you feel your heart sink.
And for some reason, you find yourself throwing on an outfit, fixing your hair, putting on some makeup and rushing out the doors.
“Hey!” Yeji approaches you, squeezing your side. “Why didn’t you tell me you were coming, we would have got my man to pick you up!” She screams over the music, looking at you excitedly.
Before you can answer her, Yeji’s dragging you further into the house. “It’s been so long since you’ve come to a party, Y/N!” She cheers, putting down her drink to hold onto your other hand and start dancing with you. Smiling awkwardly, you dance along a little, but your eyes keep batting around the room, searching for that one familiar face. Yeji leans forward to yell into your ear, “Is something wrong?!”
You wince at the volume of her voice, flinching away in fear that she’ll damage your eardrum if she shouts any louder. “I’m fine! Have you seen-?!”
“Sunghoon?!” Yeji asks, both of your bodies still swaying along to the music. “Chaeryoung told us you broke it off with him! That’s why she’s over there with him now!” She points over to the kitchen where the two of them are. You watch as Chaeryoung giggles at whatever Sunghoon is saying, leaning into his taller frame and shyly touching his forearm.
Well, that was quick of him to move on.
Yeji holds onto both of your arms before looking into your eyes endearingly, “Do you still like him?! You know, we really need to talk about stuff like this more!” She explains as you squint your eyes, the LED flashing lights and blaring music making it difficult to focus on what she’s saying. “I miss our girly talks where we’d all talk about boys, and-!”
“Y/N!” Yuna appears from your left, immediately hugging you as she does. “You should have told me you were coming, we could have got Yeji’s boyfriend to pick you up!”
You and Yeji giggle at Yuna repeating the same phrase—realising that your whole friend group practically rely on Yeji’s boyfriend for travel. “It’s fine, I just came here for-!”
“Sunghoon?!” She asks, giving you an empathetic look. “He’s with Chaeryoung!”
Now why does everyone assume you’re here for Sunghoon?
“No, I’m here for Jungwon!”
“What?!” Both your friends yell in unison, animating their confusion with their furrowed brows and cringed noses.
“Jungwon!”
Yuna eyes Yeji a little worriedly before she bends down to speak in your ear. “You’re not going to confess, are you?” Unfortunately, you haven’t given your best friend the news of what happened between you and your so-called-enemy, so you chuckle awkwardly when she asks. “Because my parents will kill me if they find out, Y/N.”
You shake your head and offer her a fake smile, “No, don’t worry, I just need to speak to him.”
Reluctantly, she lets you go and you search the house for Jungwon. But instead, you’re met with another distraction. Perfect.
You don’t even need to turn around to know that a certain black-haired tall boy is standing behind you as you recognise the feeling of his chest almost pressed against your back. Sighing aggravatingly, you turn around to meet him. “Hey.”
Sunghoon takes a few seconds to respond, his eyes roaming your face and outfit longingly. “It’s been awhile!” He shouts, giggling at the awkwardness of having to speak over the music before stuffing his hands in his jean pockets. “You look really nice!”
“What?!”
“I said, you look really nice!” He repeats, this time a beautiful smile washing over his strong features. He grins at you, smiling so wide you get a perfect view of his teeth and tiny eyes.
“Thank you! So do you!” You laugh, but your smile turns sour once you remember your last conversation with him and the reason why you’re here.
Swiftly, Sunghoon pulls you by your waist, taking you by surprise. Keeping your attention on him distracted you from the shift in music from EDM to a much slower song, so when Sunghoon tugs you to dance with him, you’re panicking. His fingers hold you softly, barely touching you at all, and when you look up into his eyes, they’re already staring back down at you. He’s perfect; practically everything anyone wants in a partner. So why is Jungwon still the only person on your mind right now?
The room is a lot quieter now, so the two of you don’t need to scream in each other’s faces anymore. Thank God for that.
“Who did you dress up for, pretty?” Your cheeks can’t help but flare up at the pet name, and you have to purse your lips from smiling like a child. “It definitely wasn’t for me, was it?” There’s a sad smile to his lips, causing you to break the heavy eye contact.
“I just didn’t want to stick out, that’s all. It’d be weird if I came in normal clothes.” Mumbling, you notice the way Sunghoon lets go of your waist with one hand, only to interlock it with yours.
“So if you didn’t come here to party, why’d you come?” He asks, and all of a sudden the spinning is starting to make you a little dizzy.
You gaze up at him with round eyes, knowing full well that he’s aware of why you came here. You hate the fact that he’s forcing you to say it out loud—to come to terms with your emotions that you absolutely despise right now. Your life could be so much easier if you really did have feelings for Sunghoon (despite the fact that Chaeryoung likes him too, maybe that would have been a bit messy) because showing up to a loud, rowdy place like this for a boy who absolutely hates your guts is just too complicated for your heart to handle.
Liking Sunghoon would have been easier, and even though you’re dancing in his arms right now, you’re still choosing Jungwon.
“I need to tell him.”
“About the motorbike or about your feelings?”
You gulp, nervously tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. “I already told him about the bike. So now I need to apologise.”
“He’s hurt you, Y/N, really bad. I don’t get why you picked him.” His face is stern, making you tug your bottom lip between your teeth.
Slowly, you let go of Sunghoon’s hand, and take his other off your waist. Looking up at him, you offer him a heartfelt smile before resting your hands on his chest. You take in a deep breath before looking up at him directly and say, “Neither do I.”
And like the two of you are some characters ripped out of the pages of a novel, you break away from each other, time slowing down as you walk away from him. Seeing Chaeryoung latch onto him while you walk backwards puts you at ease a little, you hope he sees the charm in your friend, you really do.
You’ve been searching for Jungwon for around ten minutes now, and you figure he’s left since you can’t go too far in a house, can you? You end up proving yourself wrong, however, when you walk into the upstairs balcony and spot him staring into the view.
Quietly, you lean against the balcony beside him, keeping your eyes on him in case he makes an indication that he wants you to leave.
With his gaze locked onto the city, not even sparing you a glance, Jungwon sighs deeply. “What are you doing here?”
“I just needed some fresh air,” You lie, unable to muster up the courage to explain the real reason.
“Okay, well, I think you’ve breathed in enough and you can leave now.” He mutters through jarred teeth. He looks just as angry as the day you told him about the motorbike, the steam still whistling at the top of his head. His jaw is shut tight, making his jawline look sharp enough to stab you with, and his eyes are doing their own damage to the sky with how narrow he’s piercing them.
Turning to face him, you instinctively reach out your hand to hold his arm, “Jungwon, I’m sor-”
Of course he recoils his arm away and of course he gives you a disgusted look. It’s only natural—you kind of deserve this. “What the hell do you think you’re doing?”
His tone flicks a switch inside of you unknowingly as you retort, “I was just apologising?”
“No, you don’t get to apologise,” He points at you with one hand, his other leaning against the balcony frame. His brows are lowered and his tongue is occasionally poking the inside of his cheek. “You broke my..you broke my bike.” His voice breaks, and you notice the way his bottom lip quivers. “My bike. Do you know…do you know how many memories me and my parents made in Thailand? My dad taught me how to ride it, and my mum sat at the back of it while I drove on the beach and..” He sniffles, bringing up his hand to wipe at his eyes before turning away from you. “And then out of all people you ended up helping me fix it. You’re messed up, that’s-that’s not normal.” He mutters, in between quick and raspy breaths.
Watching the scene unfold in front of you, your eyes begin to tear up, too. You made Jungwon cry again. That’s twice. That’s one more than he’s done. Just when you thought you brought the old Jungwon back you broke him again. Seeing his shoulders shudder as he cries quietly into his hands has you clutching onto your chest tightly in hopes you don’t break, too.
“I’m sorry..” You whisper.
“You don’t get to say that!” He repeats, shouting into his hands.
“But, I mean it,” you say a little louder, wiping away the tears that managed to slip out to keep your voice as still as possible.
Hastily, Jungwon turns back around, “No, you don’t get to say that because..” The dark haired boy brings down his hands to reveal his face. You’ve never seen him like this; eyes soaked and his nose red and swollen. “Because it should be me. And that’s why I’m so mad.”
“It should be you? Apologising?” You ask, unconsciously inching towards him, unaware of how close your bodies are.
His eyes wander around your face for a little while before he sucks in a deep breath, “Yeah, whatever.” Sniffling, he turns his head back to the view of the city. “Obviously, you only did that because of me.”
“No, Jungwon, that was something personal to you. I-I went too far.”
Taking you by surprise, he groans into his hand loudly before looking back at you again. “You didn’t know that it was personal!” He yells, forcing you to jerk your head back a little with wide eyes. “You didn’t know that because we don’t know each other! We don’t-!” His chest heaves laboriously as his brown eyes bore deep into yours. “We’ve known each other for so long, longer than Heeseung or Jongseong or..Sunghoon.” He mumbles the last part, his lips forming into a pout.
“Yet we don’t know anything about each other?” You finish off his sentence, making sure to keep eye contact this time, because now is the time to let it all out. Now is the time for the two of you to confront the stupid situation you’ve trapped yourselves in for years. “I know,” You whisper, before pursing your lips, trying not to spill out every thought running through your mind right now.
You spot the way the shape of Jungwon’s eyes change from slitting to more rounded. They’re large and round at the front but pull out at the sides, similar to those of a cat. For some reason, his eyes are comforting.
“Yeah..” He lets out a shaky breath. “All I know is that you’re this girl that lives across the street that has the most perfect life.”
You scoff, “Well, if you call bad grades and single-”
“You have parents that hug you every morning when you leave the house for school. You have friends that will stick by you even when you ask them to do something as stupid as break your neighbour’s bike.” You both chuckle at that bit. “You’re just.. I’ve always wanted to have that. Sometimes I think of what it would be like if I switched places with you.”
Naturally, you respond with, “Well, if you had to deal with a certain someone that makes you hate leaving your house everyday, I don’t think you’d want to be me.” You laugh at your joke, before noticing the way Jungwon’s face drops. Shit—he’s the certain someone. “Wait, I didn’t mean it like-”
“No you did. That’s why you broke my bike.” He says firmly, and the urge to look away pushes through and you turn your head away from him.
You should know by now to always expect the unexpected when it comes from Jungwon. Because the next thing you hear is a muffled snort followed by a soft laughter. Looking back at him, you’re perplexed. Was this a joke? Was this all just another prank? Does he really have no feelings? Are the police waiting at the bottom of the house to lock you away for years?
Jungwon breaks into an even louder laughter when he sees your expression, resting his elbows on the balcony rail and burying his head into his hands to try and quieten himself down. “I’m sorry,” he giggles, shaking his head, “It’s just.. I was such an asshole to you. My bike getting broken was just karma if you think about it.”
“Are you saying you deserve it?” You ask doubtfully, scared you’re dipping into hot water.
“It feels like it. I couldn’t stop thinking about how shocked you were when I was being nice for once. Like, I was really that bad, huh?”
You join in on his laughter, “We shouldn’t be laughing about this.” You say, before taking another look at Jungwon and bursting into another fit of giggles with him at the same time.
This is weird. Your arms are bumping against each other, you’re laughing so much your cheeks and throat are sore, and you can’t stop gazing into Jungwon’s eyes as you both smile with each other. You know. You’ve known since Sunghoon told you that you think about Jungwon way more than you should. You’ve known since the first time your legs touched each other accidentally that day you were fixing his bike. You’ve known since the time you watched him happily munch away on your mum’s kimbap.
You know exactly why your heart is racing right now. Racing for the idiot you’ve been hating since you were eleven years old. Racing for your so-called-enemy of six years. Racing for the guy that just laughed about how badly he’s treated you. You’re so dumb, catching feelings for someone like Jungwon. Your cheeks should not be burning right now. He’s just Jungwon, you try to remind yourself.
Buried deep in your thoughts, you didn’t even realise the two of you have stopped laughing. It’s only now that you notice Jungwon’s eyes flickering between yours and your lips, and that he’s steadily leaning towards you. If your heart was racing before, it’s sprinting down a freaking marathon now. You stay still, waiting to see (or feel) whatever happens next. You’re too scared to initiate anything in case you freak the boy out and he backs away. Because what reason would he have to lean in right now? What reason would he have to like you back?
What reason would Yang Jungwon have to kiss you?
All of your questions fly out of the window as soon as his lips latch onto yours softly. Letting out a little gasp, although you were already expecting this, your hand flies to the balcony rail immediately. This is your first kiss. You always expected it to be more romantic; on a date with a guy in the park, or under a sakura tree at school. You never thought you’d kiss someone a few minutes after watching them cry their eyes out.
His lips are soft, though, so you close your eyes to feel them more. A hand reaches the back of your head as he tilts his head, a shaky breath blowing into yours. You can’t help but smile into the kiss, giggling at how inexperienced you both are. You both pull away, and you’re a little disappointed at the lack of..well..kissing there was. You’re pretty sure your lips are actually supposed to move in a kiss. So, pulling on every string of courage you have, you place your hands on either side of his shoulders and pull Jungwon in for a second round. This time, you tilt your head and open your lips a little, your stomach filling with butterflies when Jungwon lets out a sigh of relief against you. His movements are gentle, and the tenderness of his small lips opening and closing within yours causes your head to spin a little. He’s a little too good at this, his thumbs rubbing circles on either side of your waist making you feel all mushy inside.
You hate him. You hate how good he is at kissing even though it’s his first time.
Pulling away, you can’t help but cover your face. Jungwon giggles at you quietly, making your body heat up even more. You feel his hands clasp around your wrists as he pulls them away from your face, shoving his right in yours. You’ve never seen this expression on his face before. His cheeks are bright red and puffed out, his lips are a little puffy and his eyes are rounder than you’ve ever seen them before. A genuine, really pretty smile sits on his lips as he speaks up again.
“We cannot tell anyone about this.”
“Agreed.”
-
A/N | and that's a wrap! i'm ngl i dont really understand the hype for this fic i wish i did things a lot differently ahahah,, but u guys really enjoyed it and that's all that matters!
#jungwon x y/n#jungwon x reader#jungwon x you#jungwon x female reader#jungwon fanfic#jungwon fluff#jungwon angst#jungwon drabbles#jungwon scenarios#jungwon imagines#enhypen x reader#enhypen x you#enhypen x female reader#enhypen angst#enhypen fluff#enhypen fic#yang jungwon x reader
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Miscommunication Efforts | Nico Hischier
summary: when Nico finally realises how much his family mean to him.
request: yes/no
warnings: none.
word count: 1.31k
authors note: I was in a soft mood tonight and picked a prompt that let me write for a player of my choice (so let’s thank Luna for this one). Dad Nico is not a phase, it is a way of life.
pt 2
You could feel Nico slipping away.
Days felt longer as the time you spent with him decreased. The captain spent every waking moment that he could at the rink. A habit he had each time he came back from an injury and usually you were willing to stand by and let him go through this.
But this time you couldn’t, not when Rosie was around. She was your little seven month old baby girl who was the absolute light of your life.
Now Nico was a great father, you loved how he was with Rosie. But these last few days it felt like he didn’t care about either of you as he’d leave before you woke up and he’d only come back when you were too tired to keep your eyes open.
Jack had been over twice since it all started as he wanted to make sure that you were both okay. The Hughes boy could tell that his captain had something on his mind beyond just the game and family.
You decided to spend the day in New York with some of your friends as the girls hadn’t seen you or Rosie in weeks. Of course you sent Nico a message telling him that you two weren’t going to be at home for most of the day but what you didn’t expect was that when you eventually did come home Nico would be pacing around the apartment in a panic.
He walked up and down with his phone in his hand as he rambled to his mother about something in German. When he locked eyes with you it seemed that relief ran through his veins “she’s home.” Nico blurted out before he quickly hung up.
Rosie giggled as you bounced her on your hip “where the hell were you both?” Nico groaned as he practically pulled her from your arms.
You furrowed your eyebrows “I literally told you we were out-” you tried to remind him of it but he clearly didn’t seem interested in hearing your words “you took our daughter to New York for the day and didn’t even ask me if I was okay with that!” The hockey players loud voice caused Rosie’s lip to quiver.
It made you glare at your boyfriend “look it is sort of hard to treat you like her father when she hasn’t seen you in a week.” Your voice was soft as you tried to get Rosie to calm down “I’ve been busy with the team.” Nico tried to defend himself hit you weren’t having any of it “the same team that has been over to see your daughter?” You crossed your arms only opening them when Rosie reached out for you to take her again.
The silence began to overwhelm you as Nico looked like a child who had been caught in the act “I’m going to go give her a bath.” You announced letting out a sigh as you walked in the direction of the bedrooms before Nico could say anything.
Rosie seemed totally unaware of your defeated state as she focused on her rubber ducky “da!” She giggled looking up at the door. You turned your head to see Nico watching you both “want to sit?” You asked shifting up slightly as you made space for him.
Nico nodded as he joined you on the floor smiling as Rosie stared at him with her hair full of shampoo “mein kleiner Kürbis.” The hockey player cooed reaching out to tap her nose.
She looked at her father was the only man in the world as she made a small noise in response as her nose scrunched “why don’t you go relax schatzi?” Nico asked turning his attention to you.
The look on his face was guilty as though he realised how little he had seen of you both “I think mommy deserves time without us.” The grin Rosie sent him was one you’d remember forever as it warmed your heart “mommy is going to go have a bath of her own.” You explained bringing your hands into the water to wash away the soap that was on them “I’ll see you in there.” You pressed a kiss onto Nico’s head as you got up leaving them alone as all you heard was the sound of Nico telling her some story in German.
In the bathroom of your bedroom the chaos of the smaller bathroom had not seeped into yours. You lay in the bubbles almost falling asleep as the smell of lavender and rose soothed your mind.
“Schatzi?”
The knock at the door pulled your attention away from the oasis of peace that you had formed “come in,” you called out turning your head to the door.
Nico’s head appeared as he locked eyes with you “I just put her to sleep.” He explained sitting down in a similar position to what he was in when he bathed Rosie.
You nodded “I’ve been shitty to you both.” Nico blurted out making you smile “that’s one way to put it.” You giggled as the boy brought his hand into the water to splash you.
It made his heart warm “we have to win the game and Rosie started calling Jack dad before me an-” you raised your hand to stop him “she called Jack dad?” You furrowed your eyebrows almost wanting to be amused by this.
The hockey player nodded “she called him da,” it made his cheeks turn red as he was embarrassed by the fact that his teammate got called dad before he did.
But it made him feel worse when you laughed “hand me my phone,” you pointed to the device on the table. You were quick to unlock it clicking on a video.
The soft sounds of ABBA played through your speakers as you bounced Rosie on your lap letting both of you move along to the music “you like ABBA baby?” You smiled as she nodded “da da,” Rosie wrapped her hands around your fingers as she frowned hearing the music change to something that Nico had picked.
You laughed seeing her expression change “less daddy music more ABBA?” You asked as she nodded making you skip the song.
Nico watched the clip twice over before he looked back up at you “well now that makes me feel like a real idiot.” He confessed pushing his lips into a fine line “yeah.” You nodded placing your phone back on the table as you looked at him.
He reached out to tuck a loose strand of hair behind your ear “I don’t know why you put up with so much from me.” The hockey player sighed frowning as you looked at him with so much love “because I love you.” It was clear that you did “Rosie does, Boo will.” The second mention confused the boy.
You smiled as you scrunched your nose “surprise?” You shrugged as he quickly point the pieces together “we’re having another?” Nico gasped letting his jaw drop “Rosie picked the name and we were gonna tell you-” your ramble was cut off as Nico kissed you.
It was soft and full of love “I’m so sorry you couldn’t tell me earlier.” Your hand held his “you’re here now.” You squeezed his fingers as you looked at him.
The moment was one you two were bound to remember “baby I need you out of there so I can hug you.” Nico’s words made you laugh “last time I checked this bath was big enough for the two of us.” You shot back watching as he pulled his shirt off of his back.
All you wanted this entire week was the contact that your boyfriend gave you. Rosie needed her father but so did you. Pregnant or not, you missed your boyfriend and we’re glad to have him back.
“I’m here baby, just how you want me.”
#nico hischier imagine#nico hischier oneshot#nico hischier x y/n#nhl oneshots#hockey imagine#oneshots#imagines#hockey imagines#nhl imagine#nhl oneshot#amber writes fics
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Bad Ideas
Simon 'Ghost' Riley X GN!Reader
Word count: 2000±
Warning: Profanity, ankle injury
Summary: Now, you're the one taking him out on a date.
A/N: So, I don't think I would ever write smut and that seems to be what people were expecting by the end of the last one (which is open to your own interpretation), but what I can provide is hopefully some cute shits happening some time after that.
“No,” you sighed. “Now that I’m here, I realise that this is a bad idea, Simon.”
“You took me here, Y/N,” Simon recalled.
“I know, but our opponents are likely teenagers or some weird, gamer guys with noodle arms and you’re a one man army who’s trained to shoot,” you reasoned.
“They have their practice in PUBG, we’re very much even,” Simon said.
It was a good idea at first. Maybe instead of him taking you on another date, you suggested that you should be the one taking him on the date.
For some reason, indoor paintball sounded like another good idea at that time. Which was why you both were here. For paintball.
It had been another few months since your latest, very lovely encounter with Simon. Last time, he spent a night in your flat and you delivered him back to his the next morning. Well, noon. There was a lot of delay.
Later that same day, Simon knocked on your door again and informed you that he was leaving for work, again. That was when you told him that you wanted to be the one taking him on a date instead of him taking you on another date in spite of him insisting that he was the one owing you a date.
Of course, upon his arrival home last night, Simon knocked on your door and you woke up on the same bed by the morning like last time.
Today, being another Saturday, a few days after his arrival home, you finally executed your plan. It was a good idea after all. At the time. Up until this point. Until you changed your mind a few seconds ago.
“When we’re in the field, you do everything I say, alright? As long as you do that, I’ll keep you alive and I have your back,” Simon said.
“You can literally obliterate them in five seconds,” you pointed out.
“No,” Simon denied. “I’ll only need three seconds.”
Simon made sure that your goggles were secured whilst you looked at him in disbelief.
“This is a bad idea,” you said again.
“This is your idea,” Simon said. “What’s the worst that could happen?”
“I don’t know, like… everything goes awry and you’ll hate me to a point that you’d rather move out of your flat and we’ll never see each other again,” you said.
Simon let out a light chuckle, something you did not remember ever hearing before. There was something serene and satisfying about his laugh and who knew someone’s breathy, hitched, somewhat low voice could be like that.
“No,” Simon said, putting a hand on the side of your face. “The worst that could happen is you spraining your ankle or face planting on the ground. Maybe getting a few bruises. Of course, there are cases where—”
“Okay,” you cut off. “I get it.”
“Good,” Simon nodded.
Fast forward approximately twenty minutes later, you were in the field full of people screaming and yelling and a referee who was laughing their ass off.
Earlier, when Simon heard the other team—that happened to be a team of three and you were stuck going two against three for some reason—being very tactical, he decided that he should do the same though not as loud. He did that on purpose, saying everything in military terms and watched you struggle to understand half the things he was saying.
Simon, being very capable of obliterating your opponent in three seconds, decided that he wanted you to celebrate this… not so bad of an idea for a date. Most of the time, he was fishing the enemies out and had you take the killing shot. Well, until they took you out and Simon literally took out the remaining opponents in three seconds.
As you were about to get out of the field when it happened. The worst. Somehow, in a brief second, you tripped. Simon was ready to catch you, but alas he was too far behind you by inches.
As a result, you fell face forward on the ground.
In any instance, should any fall happen in any place where there was at least another person around, the damage would be more on the mental side than the physical. However, in spite of the embarrassment, the pain you felt on your ankle was felt impeccably.
“You alright, love?” Simon casually asked once he was kneeling next to you, helping you get up to sit at least.
Looking at him, though, you could see his eyes lighting up.
“I—my… Simon, the fucking worst just happened to me,” you replied. “And you think it's funny.”
“I don't," Simon said, but not really convincing you of his denial. "Where does it hurt?”
“My ankle,” you answered.
Simon scooted over to your feet level. Carefully, he put his hand on your ankle, but accidentally pressed too hard on it and triggered a yelp from you.
By then, a few people had passed along and you tried to serve them an awkward smile.
“Alright, you’re not walking on that,” Simon stated.
“What am I—”
“I’ll find something to wrap it up with, you wait here,” Simon proceeded before walking off.
Simon returned fairly soon after that with a roll of bandage. He sat on the level of your foot and looked at you in a questioning manner.
“What am I supposed to do?” you asked.
“Let me take your shoe and sock off and patch you up,” Simon said.
“Okay,” you nodded. “Are you sure?”
“I got my training, love,” Simon said as he started getting to work.
Even in a dire time, the way he addressed you like that still got your stomach churning.
As Simon wrapped your ankle with a bandage, you removed your gear and collected your shoe. Once he was done, Simon looked at you and you could feel his smile teasing you from behind that mask.
“It’ll get better,” Simon said. “Let’s get you home and get lazy."
“Sure,” you sighed, "Nurse Ghost."
Simon helped you to your feet. However, as soon as that happened, he swept you off your feet and carried you up.
“This is unnecessary,” you chuckled. “This is a bad idea.”
“This is you getting nursed,” Simon insisted.
Initially, you planned to take him somewhere else after this, but now that disaster happened, the two of you ended up getting on a cab to get back to your flat.
In the middle of the way, Simon put an arm around your shoulders. There was something about the way he held you that made you feel somewhat secured.
“I’m sorry this turned out disastrous,” you said, still somewhat embarrassed, but also felt quite alright now that Simon was still here.
“You did pretty well, actually,” Simon said. “If you pursue it, you could participate in a sniper competition with Soap in a few years.”
“Soap’s a sniper?” you questioned.
“He didn’t say?” Simon replied.
You shook your head. Simon only looked at you and patted you on the shoulder.
“I was gonna take you for ice cream,” you continued.
“You see the sky’s cloudy, right?” Simon replied.
“Even if it’s raining, I would’ve taken you there. They have hot chocolate,” you smiled. “With marshmallows.”
Simon said nothing, but you felt his smile again. Who knew if he was actually smiling, but it felt like he was. Maybe it was simply the tenderness in his eyes.
“We could have those at home,” Simon said. “Maybe watch something with ice on your ankle.”
“Am I reading this wrong or are you inviting me to cuddle?” you asked.
Not saying anything, Simon looked out the window.
When you both arrived, Simon helped you get out of the car and walked you both into the building. It took sometime, but soon enough you reached your floor.
Once you got off the lift, Simon picked you up and put you on his back like a backpack.
“What are you doing? I walked fine earlier,” you chuckled.
“Putting too much pressure on your injury is not a good idea,” Simon put out an open palm. “Key.”
“No,” you said.
Simon proceeded to walk towards his flat.
“Wow,” you said in disbelief.
Once inside, Simon sat you down on the sofa. He stretched your injured leg and made sure it was comfortable with a stack of cushions underneath it. After that, he hunched down on the backrest to level with your face, sort of peeping on it. He put his chin on his knuckles.
“What flavour ice cream do you want?” Simon asked.
“No,” you chuckled. “It should’ve been me asking you that.”
“I’ll guess, then,” Simon stood up.
Simon only looked at you. It seemed that there were a few thoughts going in his mind.
“What do you need?” Simon asked.
“I mean, you said ice for my ankle,” you answered. “But, I can get that myself, just a few doors away.”
“No,” Simon said. “I’ll get it. What else do you need?”
“The rest of the weekend with you?” you answered.
“Copy,” Simon said. “Give me ten minutes.”
Before he left your flat, he kissed you on the forehead through his mask.
If you were allowed to scream without getting any consequences, it would be really nice. It was probably either screaming or squealing. Maybe both.
He was so lovely and cute. Maybe Simon was too tough to actually admit that he was inviting you to cuddle, but the way he went around it was as admirable.
When Simon returned, he had a bag of ice and quite a number of snacks that he laid on the coffee table. He took the ice and moved next to your leg.
“You might want to get the ice cream first before they melt,” Simon said as he unwrapped the bandage from your foot.
“Simon—”
Simon cut you off by shushing you. He was not even looking at you.
So, you reached to get the ice cream. It was surprising that he got two tubs of your favourite ice cream flavour.
“You might want to put one of these in your freezer,” you suggested.
“That’s where I put my heart,” Simon said as he was putting the ice on your foot, but before you could comment on his latest statement he said, “It’s not swelling too bad. Should be improving in a few days. Don’t walk on it.”
You handed him one of the two ice cream tubs.
“Thank you,” you said.
“I've done nothing yet,” Simon sighed before walking off for a moment.
Simon returned with two spoons and a mug. He joined you on the sofa, setting up his telly. You scooped half of the ice cream into the mug before presenting the two options to Simon. He took the mug.
By then, you were snuggled against him and whatever film Simon put on was starting.
“Nice way to end the day, don’t you think?” Simon asked.
“It’s 2 pm, Simon,” you said.
Simon lifted his mask to his nose. You looked at him and he delivered a kiss to your lips right away.
“What are we watching?” you asked, resting your temple on his chest.
“Something Soap recommended. He said it’s from a book,” Simon said. “Said something about Nicholas Sparks.”
“Oh, Simon,” you hummed, lightly chuckling. “Do I need to get worried that I might be ruining your relationship with him?”
“Let’s see how this goes and I’ll answer that by the end of this film,” Simon sighed.
Your light chuckle made Simon look at you.
“Maybe this is a bad idea,” Simon stated.
“The paintball was a bad idea, but this is not,” you stated.
“Just so you know, it was not a bad idea,” Simon said. “If the worst didn’t happen, I would’ve proposed for another game.”
A smile bloomed on your face.
Before actually investing in the film while eating ice cream, Simon kissed you on the temple.
Would it be a good idea to spend the rest of the weekend like this? Simon definitely did think so. Besides, it was his birthday weekend, he should treat himself a little.
However, of course, you had no idea that today was his birthday. Simon was tempted on telling you, but he did not care if you knew or not. He felt celebrated and that was enough for him.
@pasta-m1lk @cutiecusp
Part 1 Part 2 Part 3
#simon riley#simon ghost riley#simon ghost riley x reader#simon riley x reader#ghost#ghost x reader#mind dump
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Ok so. Confession time. I’ve been in fandom, shipping various pairings on and off for like 20 years, give or take, and I have never. NEVER. Felt so satisfied by what canon has done with my ship as I was today watching Our Flag Means Death.
It felt like I was reading a fanfic.
LITERALLY.
No no really, you don’t understand.
Our Flag Means Death is LITERALLY structured like a fanfic.
Normal shows, right? The character and relationship development serves the plot. If it doesn’t serve the plot, it gets cut.
In fanfics, on the other hand, the plot serves the character and relationship development, if there’s even a plot at all.
And guys, I didn’t realise this until today, but in Our Flag Means Death, the plot serves the character and relationship development.
Like, let’s look at season 1. The first 3 episodes introduce the characters, set the scene, and get the ball rolling. Then episode 4 is all about Ed and Stede getting to know each other and getting rid of the Spanish ship that only served to facilitate Ed and Stede meeting in the first place.
Episode 5? The dinner party. Does anything of consequence happen in that episode? It’s all there to facilitate the ‘you wear fine things well’ scene
Episode 6? Who cares about the ship they perform the fuckery for? They never come back. It’s all to explore Ed’s past and give us the bathtub scene. And then Izzy leaving the ship
Episode 7? We’ll, we get a Jim backstory, and ‘Oh my god this is happening’ and Ed & Stede deciding to be co captains.
Episode 8 is just an excuse to enjoy jealous Stede and then ‘you came back’ ‘never left’
And then the plot comes back but it’s still all about the relationship and character development.
Think about the middle episodes though. The plot could have been literally anything and it would have made absolutely no difference as long as the character and relationship beats still happened.
And now look at the two episodes we got today. Did… did anything actually… happen in Fun and Games? I mean other than relationship development and character stuff. And episode 5 (I can’t remember the name). Do you think the cursed jacket will have any consequence to the plot? Maybe the ship they left it on will come back, but you could probably swap out the cursed jacket with literally anything else and it would make no difference.
GUYS THESE EPISODES READ LIKE FANFIC CHAPTERS.
You’ve got the first few chapters to set the scene, then you’ve got a bunch of chapters where things happen and in each chapter it all culminates in a progression in the characters’ relationship. Then in the last few chapters the plot gets resolved.
This is just so surreal that an actual TV show is doing this. It’s like, have you ever fantasised about being a show runner, and how you’d just be so indulgent towards the shippers with your show? David Jenkins is living that fucking fantasy and we are all being so fed.
Listen.
Look at me.
We DESERVE this show.
If you’ve ever had your heart broken by canon, and not in the good fanfic way, you DESERVE this show.
I still cannot believe this is happening.
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kylian mbappe headcanons on what it would be like to date him?
Dating Kylian
(speaking from first hand experience of course 🤭) (Also i literally cant help myself i had to do a “how did you start dating”)
You meet Kylian at your distant cousin’s wedding, you weren’t even supposed to be there, but your mum had come down with something last minute and forced you to attend in her place
You’re at the bar at the reception with a caramel apple martini mocktail planning your escape when a handsome guy comes up to the bar orders the exact same drink
“I think you’re the first guy today to order that.” You say as he’s about to leave
He turns to you with a raised eyebrow
god he’s so handsome
“Not a dark liquor type of guy?” You ask
“Ew” He scrunches his face. “Definitely not, I like sweet things.”
“Ditto.” You raise your glass at him, nodding
And with that interaction, you find yourself in his car 30 minutes later headed back to the city, which is a whole 3 hour drive
He’d also been looking for an excuse to leave so he offered you a ride
You didn’t know this man or why he was being so generous but you were so desperate to get out, you hated weddings, especially when you know almost no one, so you took him up on it
Off topic: Mbappe driving…🧎♀️
You figure out who he was 2 hours into the drive when “Ramenez a la coupe de la maison” blares out through the speaker and you gasp so loudly when you realise he laughs
“My brother is going to lose his SHIT when he finds out THEE Mbappe drove me home.”
“Give me your phone.” He says when you finally reach your apartment. He punches his number into it
“Proof for your brother.” He winks, and suddenly you feel shy under his gaze
Fast forward to 4 days later and Mbappe is definitely sure you’re ghosting him
He’s venting to Neymar who just laughs at him because finally Kylian couldn’t bag a chick he wanted and Achraf being the voice of reason saying perhaps you were busy
It’s not for another week until he gets a text from you
“It’s Y/N’s brother. Prove you’re Mbappe and call her.”
He wastes no time ringing and the first thing he sees is you screaming at your brother to give the phone back
“Holy shit Y/N, you weren’t lying.” Your brother says
“You owe me 20 euros, dickhead.” Your face comes into view and you’re flushed and looking frustrated
“Hi.” You say to him. “I’m so sorry.”
“It’s okay.” Kylian laughs. “I’m glad your brother called, it’s nice to see you again.”
“Oh.” You blush
2 weeks later you’re going on your first date and for some reason Kylian is nervous
Kylian is confident, he knows what he wants and how to get it, never sweaty, never shy, never nervous but for some reason he wanted to impress you so much he works himself up over it
He picks you up with a bouquet of roses in his sweaty hand and you greet him with a kiss on the cheek which drives him slightly insane
Your date goes very well and you have another, and another and before you know it you’re his girlfriend
OKAY NOW TO THE DATING AKSHJSKSJS SORRY
KYLIAN IS A GOLDEN RETRIEVER/SUNSHINE BOYFRIEND AND I WILL DIE ON THIS HILL (my king of aeygo 🫶🏿)
Whenever you hang out at his or your place he’s basically on your leg like a koala
You can’t leave or enter the room without giving him a kiss first or he’ll pout and whine until you do
He absolutely loves cuddling, he’s the big spoon always (Alexa play cuffing season by sza)
Hugs from behind >>> he’ll just randomly wrap his arms around your waist and place his chin in the crook of your neck or pepper kisses across your neck instead
He also likes lying his head on your lap so you can give him head massages, he’s loves them a lot
Kylian spoils you way too much
“Hey babe remember that necklace we saw last week in the window you said you liked”
“Kylian that was just a passing comment please don’t tell me you-“
And he always presents the gifts with the cutest smile on his face, both his dimples shining so you can’t be mad at him
He knows you can’t be mad at him when he smiles like that and you know he won’t return anything you ask him to
He’s even worse on your birthday and valentine’s
You absolutely don’t know how he rents out the entire louvre for your first valentine’s together but he somehow does
“Baby, I’m Kylian Mbappe.”
Cocky little shit.
It’s the best date you’ve ever had, a candlelit picnic set up on the floor of the museum
You both hate fancy dinners however so your regular dates are always fun things like amusement parks, or roller skating, visiting new cities when he has the time and arcades
He’s a TERRIBLE loser btw kylian absolutely does not like to lose grumpy boy
You kicked his ass at fifa once and he gave you the silent treatment for a few hours
It never lasts longer than that because he’s missing you then he’s all over you again
Kylian loves kissing you, ik that boy is a phenomenal kisser i know it
Horny as fuck too.
He cannot keep his hands to himself however hard he tries, especially in public when you’re trying to not look obvious
He’ll put his hand in your back pocket, he’ll pull you into an alley and kiss you senseless, he’ll whisper in your ear for absolutely no reason because he likes seeing you hot and bothered
Your relationship is still private so he makes sure he pays you a lot of attention behind closed doors
He always makes sure you’re pleased first, he loves the way you moan his name and the sounds you make
Your lucky day is anytime he scores a hatrick, he makes sure you reach at least 7 big O’s in honour of his jersey number
You in his jersey - drives him CRAZY
You wearing his clothes in general, his favourite thing to see, especially first thing in the morning
You don’t argue a lot, but it happens, and you’re both stubborn af
He’s always the first to apologise though, especially if it’s when he’s come from a bad game or training session and that’s what causes the argument
As mentioned, Kylian doesn’t take loses very well, and sometimes he takes it out on you, but he doesn’t mean to
You do your best to be there for him in those times
There was a particularly bad argument because of a tabloid post and you went 4 days without a word to each other and he thought he was going to die
The make up sex is- *call drops*
He always holds you extra tight after
Your family absolutely love him, your mum especially
“You and Kylian are coming over this weekend? Is his favourite food still _____? I must go shopping.”
He always gifts your brother tickets to his games, you’ve gone a couple of times together and Kylian will always look up in the stands for you with a smile
Of course no one knows who he’s looking for
Until they do
The day your relationship is leaked was probably the worst day of your life, you had to take a few days off work because the paps wouldn’t leave you alone it was an absolute nightmare
Kylian was there for you the whole time, assuring you, loving you, making sure you knew he wasn’t going anywhere
Once the media moved onto someone else, the relief of not having to hide anymore felt great
Especially for Kylian because he could now hold you hand and kiss you wherever he wanted, which he made sure he definitely did
He’s not possessive but he’s absolutely jealous, he knows you’re stunning and people look at you whenever you’re out
Makes a point of PDA when he notices someone staring
“Kyky they’re probably staring at you, not me.”
“I don’t give a fuck.”
Now you’re in public relationship, you can sit with the other wags at his games so he know exactly where to find you when he wants to dedicate a goal to you
Champions league games and international friendlies are the worst when he had to travel and you can’t always go with him
He’d always call you before the game, he claims you’re his “porte bonheur” (good luck charm) or something of the sort
He comes straight to your apartment from the airport every time
His favourite days are lazy mornings with you when he doesn’t have training
He likes to cook for you sometimes, but he mostly steers clear of the kitchen
Especially after the time he almost burnt it down trying to make tacos
Also boy can he eat
You’re both big foodies, you have a spontaneous date night every week where you pick random restaurants or food truck places to try out
You’re sat on a bench at 11pm, 6 months into the two of you dating, with mouthfuls of food from a place you’d seen on tiktok when he asks you to move him with him
You’re hesitant at first because you do enjoy having your own space but you agree to it, you were over there a lot anyways, would be easier
And he said you can convert one of the spare bedrooms into your own safe space
Kylian is a huge romantic, corny too so he’ll leave little notes around the house for you
“You’re the straw to my berry” you find this in the fruit bowl
“You’re so sweet, I get a toothache just looking at you.” this was on the mirror above your bathroom sink
Stupid nicknames
“Kyks if you call me “your little avocado” or “your cheeky cotton bud” one more time, I’m calling you Donatello next time we have sex.”
He sticks to ma cherie or mon amour from then on
Living together means domestic things like cooking together and negatives like Kylian stealing your skin care products
And he absolutely has to do a face mask also everytime you do one
“Kylian this shit isn’t cheap keep your hands off!”
Next time you open your bathroom cabinet, there’s 6 of every product with a note: “I know something else that would be great for your skin, I’ll show you tonight.”
You’re very glad that night Kylian’s apartment is sound proof
Movie marathons together
Marvel and Disney especially, he’s team Iron Man 👎🏿
You absolutely cannot stand horror movies, but he loves them, you think it’s mostly because you always end up in his arms with your face in his neck to avoid watching them
Becoming really close with the other wags, especially Achraf’s wife Hiba, she becomes like a sister to you
Joking Kylian and Achraf were going to leave the two of you for each other
You and Kylian going to support Ethan at his games and babysitting his neice and nephew, he loves seeing you with him
So much so he asks you one night how you feel about having kids with him
“NOW??”
“Of course not now Y/N. Just at some point.”
You say yes
So he proposes 2 months later, he doesn’t care you’re young or have only been dating 15 months, he loves you and can’t see himself with anyone else
You say yes
2 years after your wedding you welcome your first child together, a baby girl the spitting image of Kylian and he’s never felt so content with life and how everything has turned out for him
——-
I hope this is okay 😭 I’m terrible with headcanons bc i always end up wanting to just write a fully fledged fic instead 😵💫
#football fanfic#mbappe fanfic#mbappe#kylian mbappe fluff#kylian mbappe fanfic#kylian mbappe#mbappé#kylian mbappé#kylian mbappe fic#kylian mbappe x you#kylian mbappe x reader#mbappe x reader#mbappe fic#mbappe imagine#kylian mbappe imagine#football imagine#footballer x reader
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warning signs
part 2
catch part 1 here!
tags: @sturniolosluvv @sturnsblunt @chrisdevora @sosmatt @kirby0strombolli @stvrni0lo@vqnillasturns @slut4chris @recklesssturniolo @chrisolivia4l @silverlakee @freshlovehacker @chrisenthusiast @chrisluvbot @bluesturniolo333@rac00ns-are-c00l4 @mattscokewhore @iheartchrissturniolo @zooweemamas @sturniolotripletsarehot @mcttsturn @bernardsleftbootycheek @sturnsworld @qwertytit @putyoursemenonme @realuvrrr @klarasmith @plasticferal l @sturnvilmed @delusionalsturniologirl @thy-mission @strniohoeee @sturnsclutter @chrissturn @chrissturniolossidehoe
“chris?”
his hand lay clenched around the door knob and he stands still, deadly still.
“what are you doing here?” i look at nate to see if he had any clue what was going on because he gave me no warning he was about to turn up at my doorstep with no notice.
“well i just thought” he stops himself and looks about.
is that it? he just thought. he thought what? he thought he wanted to come back home and confess his love again? he wanted to apologise for all the nights i slept on a tear soaked pillow? or was he apologising for just leaving randomly?
“i thought maybe you’d wanna see me” i laugh at this. i laugh at this stupid comment and how naive this boy is for just thinking i’d wanna see him.
hell i’d get on my hands and knees to see him, i’d give up everything to see him. but this? this is not what i imagined.
he stands there and he’s so different. the differences make me think of the time and the change and how long it’s been. his hair’s grown and he’s even taller now. he’s wearing all of his merch and as my eyes drag down to his wrist, i notice the bareness and the exposure of his skin.
just on his left wrist there used to be a bracelet that belonged just to us, a token of the promise we made to one another all those years ago. my hand falls down to my own hand and glides up slightly to touch the loose piece of thread that has frayed against my skin.
i never dared to take it off, ever. i couldn’t ever break that promise but i guess that didn’t matter.
“you thought i’d want to see you. chris, you thought i wanted to see you?” he scratches the back of his neck and takes a few steps into my room.
“well, yeah. it’s been a while.”
“it’s been months. it’s not been a while. it’s been what’s felt like years with barely any words from you. did you know texting me goodnight isn’t exactly a conversation? and did you know the last time you did say that it was nearly a month ago?”
“i’m so-“
“no, chris. you don’t get to just say sorry and leave here feeling like you’re on top of the world. you’ve left me with nobody, literally nobody but nate for months and you have the nerve to turn up to my house with no warning, out of nowhere, to tell me that you’re sorry? well do you know what chris? i’m sorry. i’m sorry i clearly wasn’t good enough for you. enough for you to even talk to me for the past couple months, enough to stay here in boston and actually experience the future you claimed to have dreamt of with me. clearly you’ve got bigger priorities and i just wanna remind you, before this, before all of this, i was your number one. me. and i was there for you through thick and thin and i supported everything you did. and the stupidest thing is i haven’t even stopped either. i’m still cheering you on and defending you, us, when you stopped caring all those months ago.”
he stands there shocked by my words and shaking his head, all for what? he knew what he’d done. there had to be a little bit in the back of his mind that realised he’d forgotten me.
“and before you drag me for not supporting your career and all that shit, just remember i was the one who encouraged you to start that and i always always made sure you knew how proud i was of you and your brothers. i’ll never be able to forget the day i witnessed you guys hit a million, i was so happy for you guys and i’m still happy for you all now. but i’m disappointed that in amongst all of that you forgot the people that matter the most. those fans weren’t there when you were getting bullied at school for doing what you loved, i was. i made sure they backed away from you, i put a bubble around you to protect you from criticism that i knew would knock you down and i never ever wanted to see that.”
i’m off the bed now and i’m near tears. it’s raw emotion displayed through words that have been pent up since the second he left, before that even.
it’s sadness, it’s mourning the loss of the person he used to be, it’s disappointment and it’s the pain of the old memories. its betrayal on the highest level and it’s cut me like spear through the heart. it’s slowly been splitting but him being here and staring at me with water building in his eyes is like a final dagger into the pumping muscle and i can slowly feel the blood draining out of me.
“i’m gonna just head out. call me later, okay?” i nod at nate and he awkwardly moves past chris and closes the door, leaving the two of us and the silence surrounding the room.
“i don’t know what to say.” he comes closer to me and hesitated before hovering near my bed.
“i didn’t realise you thought i forgot you like that. i-uh.”
“you didn’t realise? chris, are you insane? you didn’t realise-“
“i sleep with a picture of you by the side of my bed every night.” he looks up from his lap and into my eyes. “it’s the only thing that makes me feel comforted. my pillow even has a dent from where i hold it at night wishing it was you.”
the needle and thread pierce through my heart and carefully sow upwards as i watch chris slowly open up to me.
i haven’t heard his voice for months, the gravel at the back of his throat ironically still sounding like birdsong to me.
“i used to rub my thumb across our bracelet to feel like you were there with me but the thread wore away and um, it broke.” his voice breaks a bit and he puts his head down.
i feel the need to sit down, like a magnetic force pulling me against the bed desperately trying to comfort him. so i do. i sit down and next to him and this is the closest we’ve been for six months.
“the more i found myself texting you, the bigger the hole in my heart grew and so i thought, stupidly, that by letting our conversations get smaller and smaller you wouldn’t need me as much and me being away wouldn’t hurt so bad because i knew how much pain i was in being away from you so i assumed you were feeling the same.”
he continued “i couldn’t bring myself to break up with you, i made a promise. i didn’t want to break up with you, i just thought it would be better for you to be happy rather than endlessly waiting for me.”
“i would wait forever for you, chris. all i wanted was for you to care or to text me, anything. of course, i want you here with me but i want to be with you and happy even if it means doing it through a screen.”
“i’m so sorry. i never meant to hurt you, i was trying to protect you and i was doing what i thought would make you happy. it was killing me you not being there with me. i didn’t want to just turn up here randomly but saying this in text, it just doesn’t show how much i care about what i’m telling you.” he looks at me with tear stained cheeks and my hand goes up to wipe them away. as our skin touches, i feel the heat slowly come back to my face and i smile at his reaction.
he grabs ahold of my hand and pulls it down till his hand is interlinked with mine. he sighs and quickly engulfs me in a heart-warming hug. it’s a hug that reminds me of old times, the best times, and it’s filled with love and sorrow at the same time.
it’s an apology for the break of our hearts and for the time we’ve lost.
“i’m not going anywhere and if i do, you’re coming with me.”
i smile as i lean my head against his and pull my hand to his hair to swirl it round my fingers, an old comforting habit i used to have.
he slowly pulls away from me and shuts his eyes and sighs contently, we felt normal again. well, as normal as we could be.
i press my lips to his and i feel him kiss back, we don’t part for a minute or two and we’re slightly breathless by the time we pull away.
we sit in silence for a while and i grab his hands to pull him off my bed.
“well i guess we need to make you a new bracelet then since you really liked your last one.” i giggle and he smiles.
“maybe make a few just as a precaution”
#matt sturniolo#nick sturniolo#sturniolo triplets#chris sturniolo#comfort character#sturniolo#vinnie hacker#vinnie hacker imagines#vinnie hacker imagine#matt sturniolo fan fiction#chris sturniolo fanfic#chris sturniolo imagines#chris sturniolo angst
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Okay so in my last Kevin post, I mentioned I have analysis' on how Kevin isn't a coward and how his trauma still affects him and you guys wanted to read it so here!
Why Kevin Day Isn’t a Coward:
Essentially this comes down to 3 specific points in the fandom and even in the books since people are very adamant about the whole coward thing. The two things that people (in book and fandom-wise) use to argue that Kevin is a coward are:
Kevin is still afraid/ doesn’t stand up to Riko
That he left Jean behind in the nest.
Starting off with the first point. Kevin is still afraid and doesn’t stand up to Riko for the majority of the books. Firstly, we need to understand that Kevin has been abused from an extremely young age in the Nest and was conditioned into thinking that kind of behaviour was normal. And by that I mean specifically Riko’s abuse but before that, it was Coach Moriyama that abused both of them.
He was stuck in the Nest for over a decade where his only role was “property” the entire time. That was all he would ever be to them and additionally to that, he wasn’t even allowed to be better than Riko. His entire life from the very start has been about exy but it was only after his mothers death where it became life or death.
During tfc when Neil finds out how Kevin’s hand really broke Wymack says “But the day Kevin stops playing forever is the day he dies. He has nothing else. He wasn't raised to have anything else. Do you understand? We cannot lose to the Ravens this year. Kevin won't survive it."
He wasn’t raised to have anything else, exy is quite literally his everything, and without it, he has nothing and nobody. In this same scene, Wymack says, “Kevin doesn't talk about his time at Evermore, but I could tell it wasn't the first time Riko or Moriyama laid a hand on him. It was just the first time Kevin was smart enough to pack his bags and walk away.”
We never find out in detail what exactly happened to Kevin in the Nest but in TRK when Neil goes there we can see how deluded and obsessed Riko is with Kevin.
Neil moved up alongside him and regretted it almost immediately. Postcards of faraway cities both foreign and domestic were taped to the walls. Beneath each one were scraps of paper. Kevin's now-familiar scrawl listed dates and explanations for the travels. Most of them were games. Some indicated photo shoots and interviews. Books lined the shelves built into the headboard and Neil knew from skimming the spines they were Kevin's. Kevin was majoring in history for reasons Neil couldn't understand; these dry titles were the sorts of things he would find fascinating. It gave Neil chills to see his space preserved like this. It was like Kevin had gone out on an errand, not that he'd transferred to another team entirely.
Riko is so sure that Kevin is going to come back to him because he’s instituted such fear into him, he doesn’t think Kevin has the strength to stand up to him. Which he does, but people don’t seem to realise you can’t undo over a decade's worth of trauma overnight.
Anyway, during Neil’s time in the Nest, he’s treated very similarly to how Kevin would be considering he was in his place but also not as harsh because they had to send Neil back to the Foxes inevitably.
"I am going to love hurting you," Riko said, "like I loved hurting Kevin."
What follows this is Riko tying Neil down and torturing him with a switchblade. By the time Neil leaves the Nest he doesn’t remember anything from the experience- he was so traumatised by it that he doesn’t remember it at all. (It also kinda sucks how Neil gets more sympathy for being in the nest for 2 weeks than Kev did for being there for over a decade.)
Putting this into perspective, Kevin went through that for so much longer and doesn’t get nearly enough of the same sympathy Neil did. Neil returned and Kevin got punched for letting him go even though he tried persuading Neil not to. Kevin has always had Neil’s best interest at heart.
Kevin shook his head and bulled on when Neil started to argue. "The master wants to salvage you. He's going to sign you to the Raven lineup in spring. So long as you keep quiet and keep your head down he won't tell the main family he's found you." "I'm not a Raven," Neil said. "I never will be." "Then run," Kevin insisted, low and frantic. "It's the only way you'll survive."
Kevin was willing to sacrifice the only chance he had to prove his autonomy to the Moriyamas if it meant Neil would be safe. Without Neil, they wouldn’t have enough players to qualify and they wouldn’t be able to play at all. (Again: “But the day Kevin stops playing forever is the day he dies. He has nothing else. He wasn't raised to have anything else. Do you understand? We cannot lose to the Ravens this year. Kevin won't survive it.")
Not to mention the whole “Kevin was silent for an endless minute, then said, "You should be Court." It was barely a whisper, but it cut Neil to the bone. It was a resentful goodbye to the bright future Kevin had wanted for Neil. Kevin recruited Neil because he believed in Neil's potential. He brought him to the Foxes intending to make a star athlete out of him. Despite his condescending attitude and his dismissals of Neil's best efforts Kevin honestly expected Neil to make the national team after graduation.
And even after that, he promised to teach Neil, because at the end of the day, Neil was still Neil and he never gave up on him once.
And Neil understood that being on the run for 8 years was more preferable to the Nest.
“But all Neil had to do was look at Kevin to know he would have hated that life
too.”
Sorry I kinda went off track there anyway we can also see how much Riko’s presence still affects Kevin especially in scenes like the Kathy Ferdinand show.
“Any animosity Neil felt toward Kevin for forcing him onto this show evaporated. He couldn't be angry when Riko was here, not when Riko was to Kevin what Neil's father was to him. Petty anger had nothing on this full-fledged terror.”
Obviously, we all know what a dickhead Neil’s dad was to him so Neil comparing the fear of his father being similar to Kevin’s fear of Riko is so important because it just puts into perspective how afraid Kevin is here face-to-face with his abuser the first time since said abuser permanently disabled him.
But what I don’t think is that Kevin has been standing upto Riko since the start because right after this when they were backstage, Kevin physically stopped Riko from hurting Neil even if it meant getting hurt by Riko again.
A black look twisted Riko's expression into something ugly and unrecognizable. He reached for Neil, but Kevin caught his arm to stop him. Riko slammed his elbow back into Kevin's face without missing a beat.
This scene is probably the best to describe how downright afraid Kevin is of Riko but there are others when Kevin has multiple panic attacks at just the thought of Riko or being in the same vicinity as him and rightfully so! Riko abused him, manipulated him and then took away the only thing he had. And Kevin was just forced to think this was okay.
And a lot of characters and fans see his fear as cowardice instead of a normal trauma response. This is also because Neil tends to speak out more against Riko than Kevin (You know I get it…) but unlike Neil, Kevin has had direct repercussions towards him for the “mistake” of talking back to Riko which of course makes him hesitant.
He knows the Moriyamas could drag him back at any moment and he's terrified of that happening.
Which leads to the second bit of “Kevin doesn’t stand up to Riko.” when many times, he has.
The most prominent example is in TRK, just after the foxes lost their first match to the ravens.
“You have fallen so far, Kevin. You should have stayed down and saved us the trouble of forcing you back to your knees." "I'm satisfied," Kevin said. It was the last response any of the Foxes expected from him. They forgot about Riko in favor of gaping at Kevin. "Not with their score or performance, but with their spirit. I was right. There's more than enough here for me to work with."
Kevin chose the foxes over the ravens- over Riko. He doesn’t allow their loss to become something Riko can use against him but instead something to affirm his current standing with them. This is also the first game Andrew played without his meds meaning he’s crashed by the end of it.
Kevin distracted the Ravens from Andrew's unsteadiness by facing them.
Kevin willingly turned to talk to his ex-abuser and his team if it meant Andrew wouldn’t be under fire. Most people only see Kevin and Andrew as Andrew protecting Kevin but Kevin protected Andrew just as much.
And of course we have the whole tattoo removal and the last exy match against the foxes but I need everyone to understand that those are so so so important. Kevin spent the entire series save the last quarter of the last book viewing himself as Riko’s property. Riko refers to him as such and even without Riko near him, his control is still strong over Kevin.
So Kevin removing his tattoo and replacing it with something with a higher hierarchical structure than Riko’s status as king is so detrimental, it’s a turning point for him because he’s viewing himself as his own person now. And Kevin scoring the winning goal brings us full circle because the last time he did that with Riko, he ended up disabled and shunned.
This brings me to my second point about Kevin running away from the nest. Alot of people see Kevin escpaing from the nest and leaving behind Jean as an act of cowardice. This bit gets a bit complicated because in no way shape or form am I trying to compare trauma’s or anything like that.
But to continue on. The ravens had a very strict policy that we got to see during Neil's experience one of which being that no matter how injured they were, they were still expected to show up to practice. The more mistakes they made the more punishment they'd find themselves in. Not showing was practically a death wish.
Now Kevin having his hand fucking broken would mean thay either he doesn't practise and get punished or practise with his fucked up hand and further damage it. If he stayed I wholeheartedly believe he would've died.
He ran away to save his life and that will never be cowardice not once. He didn't go to Wymack immediately when he found out because he knew what kind of target he'd paint on Wymacks back.
"He was trying to protect him," Neil said. "If Coach knew Kevin was his son, he'd have tried to take him from Edgar Allan." Nicky grimaced. "They'd have never let Kevin go."
He only left when he had no other option. He had nothing left, the one thing he did have was taken away from him, he had no purpose and for once Riko didn't care enough about him to pay attention. And he used that to run.
Leaving Jean behind was something he always regretted, but it was a game of survival. Jean was a gift to the Moriyamas, he was also property to them and couldn't leave. And if the roles were reversed I strongly believe Jean would've done the same thing.
Also Kevin finds a place for him layer with the trojans because he knew that being a fox wouldn't be good for him.
"He isn't safe with us," Kevin said. "I won't give him false hope."
Staying in the nest would've been suicide for Kevin. He's one of the biggest victims in the series but nobody talks about it enough I fear and there's so much to learn about him via context clues etc.
And the saddest thing in my opinion is that Kevin knew was it was like to be loved, he was raised by his mother for a few years before going to the Moriyamas.
ANYWAY to conclude, I suck at essays and I hope I've worded everything well and what I'm trying to say gets across. Kevin is not a coward, never has been a coward and never will be. He's survived through such a damaging and abusive environment only to get moved to a separate environment where everyone just ridicules his defense tactics and he has no real sense of support.
His reasons for what he does always stems from the fact the he doesn't want to go back to being under Riko and Coach Moriyamas "care" and that he's afraid. And most of the time it's things he can't shake from the nest.
Like when he pushes the foxes its so they're always at their best and so none of them get hurt or punished for mistakes. He pushed himself the hardest because he doesn't want to directly affect his teammates.
Or the celebrity persona he was forced to develop.
Or how he makes sure everyone is staying healthy and that they don't force themselves to play when sick or injured because he knows what it's like to be forced to play like that day after day.
AND IVE GONE OFF COURSE AGAIN yeah I kinda mashed together both analysis' of how Kevin's trauma from the nest affects him and how he's not a coward into one thing AND THIS IS SUPER LONG so if ur still here thank you very much for reading I really hope this makes sense
#kevin days defense lawyer right here#this is the longest thing ive ever posted on tumblr#aftg#kevin day#aftg kevin#neil josten#aftg neil#andrew minyard#matt boyd#aftg series#aftg andrew#andriel#kandreil#kevneil#kandrew#david wymack#riko moriyama#FUCK HIM#jean moreau
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Peace At Last
A purely self-indulgent Ten x Reader fic because I just love Ten so much okay! (gif made by me)
Let me know what you think!
Read on ao3
Tagging some people I’ve recently followed who I think might like it: @denaliwrites @tatennant @doctor-donnaa @quite-right-too @theetherealbloom @my-lonely-angel @casasupernovas @kbishop @tennant @raining-stars-somewhere-else @davidtennan-t
Ten x Reader, she/her/hers pronouns, one use of Y/N
(Sorry if this causes pain especially since it’s the last episode with Fourteen and David Tennant as The Doctor today. Wishing everyone so much love and hope you can cope with the pain we will all be experiencing in 5 hours!)
They bumped into each other.
Literally.
He wasn’t looking where he was going, just trying to focus on not collapsing in the street before he could make it back to the TARDIS, and she was coming out of a shop.
This was almost the end.
He could feel it.
He felt it when he saw Rose but he couldn’t let go.
Not yet.
He had one more stop.
He wanted to be near where she lived.
He just wanted to be near her.
One last time.
He didn’t want to wipe her memory but he had to.
It wasn’t like it was with Donna but he knew that one day she would die because of him and he didn’t want that.
He couldn’t bear the thought.
It had to be done so she could live and she never would have left of her own accord. She would never leave him willingly so what other choice did he have?
Especially after trying to change time and becoming The Time Lord Victorious. Look how that turned out.
Adelaide Brooke still died only it was his fault instead of it being an accident.
“Oh shit! Sorry! I should have been looking where I was going!” A voice said.
“No, it’s m-” He knew that voice. His luck really was great(!)
He must’ve paused for a beat too long because she spoke again. “Are you okay? Did I hurt you?”
That was her all over. Always worrying and caring about others (him especially).
“Yeah! I’m fine!” He replied, trying to sound nonchalant. “Just feeling a bit under-the-weather. Winter and all, you know?” His voice didn’t sound like him. It was nervous, slightly high-pitched, and shook a little. He hoped that she didn’t know that there was something wrong.
“I know. You might want to invest in some actual winter clothes though to keep you warm. Converse and winter are not the best combination,” she laughed, looking him up and down at his unusual (to her now anyway) attire.
He could’ve cried and hugged her at hearing the jibe she’s told him multiple times while travelling with him. Instead, he forced himself to laugh and smile at her.
“Yeah, I suppose I should. Maybe one day,” he replied, scratching the back of his neck. A habit that he had developed when he was nervous.
She would have noticed and usually tried to comfort him. But not now. The thought made his hearts ache.
“Sorry but do I know you?” She asked, staring at him with a slight frown. His hearts leapt into his throat. “You just seem so familiar. What’s your name?”
He quickly composed himself before replying with a classic phrase. “No, sorry, I don’t think you do. I guess I just have one of those faces. Name’s David. David Smith.”
She had told him to stop with the John Smith alias as “no-one believes that’s your name. I may as well call myself Jane Doe.” So he had changed it as soon as he wiped her mind. Just in case he ever saw her again and the name John Smith made her remember.
“David…” She trailed off, as if she was trying to place the name, still slightly frowning until the crease between her eyebrows eased. “I guess you do just face on of those faces. Sorry about that,” she finished, smiling sheepishly.
He mentally released a breath that he didn’t realise he was holding.
“No worries,” he replied, smiling to try to ease her embarrassment that he knew she was feeling.
She may not remember him but he still knew her like the back of every hand he’s ever had.
They stood there for a few moments, longer than two seemingly strangers should, just smiling at each other before she looked away, a light blush colouring her already flushed cheeks from the cold.
His hearts ached again and pain filled his entire being.
He would never get to see her blush from embarrassment due to looking at him for too long again.
“I should probably go before the snow gets worse,” she said.
He looked around and noticed that the snow had started to get heavier since they had been talking.
“Of course. Get home safe.” His voice cracked. Home should be in the TARDIS with him.
“You too. Before you go,” she said, putting a hand on his arm as he was turning the leave.
He could feel the pain of having to leave her almost bring him to his knees due to feeling her touch again. It had felt so long since he had felt that and he never wanted her to stop.
He would never feel her comforting touch or her hand in his again and he was starting to break
She was rummaging through her bag and took out a blue scarf. TARDIS blue.
“Here,” she said softly as she leaned up on her tip toes and wrapped it around his neck. “I don’t know why but I just bought this. It’s not really my thing and I don’t have anyone else to give it to but there was something in my mind that urged me to buy it. Maybe this was fate,” she chuckled. “There! Looks great!” She grinned, smoothing out the scarf and his breath caught as her fingers grazed the back of his head.
“Thank you, he responded quietly, tears filling his eyes “Truly. Thank you.” He took her hands in his and kissed the back of them.
“You’re very welcome,” she said, just as quietly as him, and blushed once more.
He let go of her hands and took a step back. He swore that he saw disappointment on her face at that.
He didn’t have time to dwell on it for too long as she had thrown her arms tightly around his waist and pressed her face into his chest, taking a deep breath of him in.
He wasn’t sure if his hearts had stopped completely or if they were beating so fast that he couldn’t feel them beating properly anymore.
He wrapped his arms around her and kissed the top of her head, taking in the familiar and comforting scent.
The hug ended as quickly as it had started but before he could feel too disappointed, she had placed her hands on his shoulders, almost wrapping her arms around his neck like the scarf was, and pressed her lips to his cheek.
She stepped back and smiled brightly at him
“Merry Christmas, Doctor,” she said as she walked away.
He was frozen.
Did she just-?
Could she-?
No.
She couldn’t remember him.
Could she?
His brain was working faster than normal.
“Merry Christmas, Y/N,” he called after her before he knew was he was doing.
She briefly turned back and waved, that beautiful smile still on her lips, lighting up her whole face.
“Merry Christmas, my love,” he whispered, turning the corner as quickly as he could to find the TARDIS before him.
He could feel the old girl humming happily in his head and he smiled at her in return.
The image of his love didn’t leave his mind.
Not even as he noticed Ood Sigma.
Not even as he started to feel the pain of death returning.
Even when the Ood started singing to him and he felt himself burning, he could still see her.
Her smile bright and warm, helping him find peace.
At last.
~ A few streets away ~
“Huh. That was weird,” she said out loud.
Shrugging, she entered a café, still smiling and felt a warmth that travelled deep into her soul.
#doctor who#david tennant#tenth doctor x reader#ten x reader#10th doctor x reader#tenth doctor fic#tenth doctor imagine#10th doctor fic#10th doctor imagine#the doctor x reader#doctor who x reader#doctor who fic#doctor who imagine#the doctor fic#the doctor imagine#ten needs a hug#let ten be happy goddamit!#canon compliant#canon compatible#canon complicit#david tennant doctor#david tennant doctor who#david tennant tenth doctor#me#my writing#self indulgent fic
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Dear Alex
Dear Alex,
I can’t really remember how many times I’ve started writing this letter and how many times I’ve thrown it in the bin. It’s a really shitty way of doing this but I just don’t think I can tell you any of this to your face. I’m too embarrassed. It all started as a prank, a way to level the tables with the both of us. I meant to tell you sooner but I guess it got out of hand and here we are. I’m gonna have to start at the beginning I think. You’ll know all of this, just not my side of it I guess.
After university when we moved in together I wasn’t sure we’d last as room mates for more than a few months but it was so easy hanging out with you and we were both the same level of untidy so we didn’t piss each other off. We did have those tricky few weeks a few years back when we dated the same guy without realising but he turned into the biggest ballsack on the planet so it wasn’t hard to get over that!
I’m only mentioning that because that’s not the reason I got you fat. It wasn’t revenge for anything. I don’t fully remember the original reason to be completely honest, it wasn’t really a thought through thing, it just sort of happened. And yeah I know I just threw that it there. I got you fat. I mean you definitely played your part in it but I really messed with you man and I’m sorry.
It was innocent at first, I noticed when you started your new job and you were tired all the time, you started going to the gym less. I think it was when we were decorating the kitchen one weekend and you were painting the ceiling, I saw your rounded little pot belly when you were reaching up. All those late night take aways and evenings sat in front of the tv watching the football were taking their toll. Your flat muscled six pack was disappearing. It instantly filled me with hope. You had a flaw I could exploit!
It pains me to say this but of the two of us, you’d always been the hot one. Don’t get me wrong, on my own, I’m not bad looking. In fact if someone asked me I’d probably say I was a nine, it’s just that next to you, I’m a seven at best. Your blonde hair and permanently tanned skin made you the hottest guy in most rooms. All 6’5 of you was built like a cartoon of a rugby player which made it even worse! You’re a solid ten man and you always have been. I don’t think I realised how jealous I was until I saw you had a flaw. That solid curved furry belly I glimpsed gave me the seed of an idea. If you were fatter, it might even the playing field. I’m not proud of this, I just think you’d reserve the truth.
It started gently at first, I’d make twice the amount of food I’d normally make when it was my turn to cook. I’d pack the fridge with snacks and unhealthy things for you to pick at. I’d hand you beers when we were watching the game. You were so zoned into the match you never noticed me topping up your snacks or replacing the bud lights with full fat beers. Over a few months I watched as your little curve turned into a more substantial beer belly. And fuck you if it wasn’t the most perfect beer belly I’d ever seen. I was hoping it would make you less hot but turned out it made you hotter. Instead of a flabby pimply gut covered in stretch marks, you developed a firm round belly with perfect skin and even kept your Adonis belt. That’s when it got serious.
The first thing was gainer shakes. I started sprinkling gainer powder in everything, adding it to every meal or sauce I could dissolve it into. Everything I cooked for you was loaded with butter and ghee to double the calorie count. I found larger versions of our plates so that I could increase your portion sizes without you realising. I even started buying your clothes a size up and replacing the labels so you wouldn't realise. I was literally feeding you up like a fattened calf. And boy did you balloon. The first phase was months long and you gained 20/30lbs but this second phase was like you were being filled with an air pump. I can’t really believe I could do this to someone, especially someone who I would call my best friend.
It all came to a head yesterday when I crossed the line big time. That’s why I’m writing this letter now and actually sending it. I can hear you now snoring from your bedroom. Sleeping off the mammoth meal I stuffed into you across the evening. I’ve been awake all night and I keep going in to check on you to make sure you’re still breathing. I can’t believe you ate as much as you did and I can’t believe I pushed you into doing it.
I was only planning on slipping you a few of the tablets I found online. They were definitely safe and I want you to know I checked them and double checked them to make sure they were ok for human consumption. I guess that gives away the fact that they were actually for animals. I think they are used by wagyu beef farmers to get cows fattened up before they are butchered. They are supposed to increase appetite and metabolism. I popped two in your beer before the game and started my usual sneaky increase in your snacks. It wasn’t hard as you always put a lot away when our team is winning and they were three goals up by half time. I think at that point you’d eaten two bowls of Doritos and dip, a plate of sliders and a whole pan of chilli which I think would have served 8 comfortably. That was on top of the best of a crate of twelve beers. Your belly was swollen up to it’s usual bulging mass and you were already rubbing the sides to alleviate some pressure. I should have stopped there but I couldn’t help myself. I slipped you another few of the tablets. I guess in hindsight, the first two hadn’t properly kicked in at that point which meant that by the time the second half had started they were in full force. I couldn’t keep up with the snacks and you’d pretty much polished off the lot by the time the match had ended.
For the record it was your idea to order pizza. Your belly at that point was totally rounded out and your T-shirt was stretched over it’s taut surface. I guess you were pretty buzzed because you ordered four xl meat feasts. I didn’t really have any choice but to let it happen. And you might not remember any of this but you basically inhaled the first two. By that point you were fully maxed out. Your belly was tight and even the xxxl T-shirt you were wearing (that you thought was an xl) was beginning to show a few inches of your swollen belly. You could hardly move and I felt awful. Well that’s not totally true. I was actually pretty pleased at the state of you. My plan after all was to make you gain a few pounds so I’d be hotter than you and you’d basically blimped.
Anyway, what happened next I am truly ashamed about. You were laying there on the sofa clutching at your belly. The tablets clearly convincing your brain you were still starving, even thought your belly was basically an exercise ball now. And you were just moaning with the two pizzas next to you. And that’s when I snapped. I jumped up and shoved a whole slice into your mouth. You gaged but then after a few chews swallowed it right down. Slice by slice I pushed the remaining two huge pizzas down your throat. I could literally see your belly blowing up in front of me. When eventually I reached into the box for the next piece and found nothing, I realised what I’d done. I stepped back and looked at you. Spread eagle on the sofa, your belly sticking way up and round. Covered in sweat and grease. It’s as if I stepped out of my own body and realised what I had done to you. You were fucking huge man.
I left the room and went to my own to consider what to do next. I was half appalled and half in awe at the size of you man. When I came in half an hour later you were fast asleep and snoring like a pig, your gut still very much occupying its space. Guiltily, I managed to get you into your bed and laid you on your back so your belly could reach its full swell. I pulled your belt off so your stomach wasn’t under any pressure. I didn’t want you to pop or anything.
As I said I know our friendship is probably over but I want you to know I’m truly sorry. I took this way too far and I regret it. I’m happy for you to do what you need to do, and if that’s punch me in the face then so be it. I hope that in a few weeks you’ll be able to forgive me but if not then I understand and I will move out if that’s what you want.
In the spirit of fully disclosure, I want you to know that even though you’re maybe 100lbs fatter than you were, I still think you’re a ten. In fact if I’m really honest, I think you might even be hotter than that. Your belly last night was horrifying but also strangely attractive. The firm roundness of it and knowing how much food I’d crammed in there was actually quite erotic. Sorry if that’s tmi but I think I wanted you to have the whole truth. I have a small suspicion that you’ve actually enjoyed getting bigger and if that’s wrong then I’m sorry for presuming. But I actually wonder how big we could get that thing.
Let me know what I can do to make it up to you, or if I’m right and you wanna continue.
Yours apologetically (and hopefully)
Nate
Continued at Dear Nate
#belly expansion#gainer fiction#gay gainer#stuffing#belly fiction#gainer stories#male gaining#stuffing art#gainer artwork#gainer story
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Bodyswap AU / @wolfstarmicrofic / 976 words
Remus should have known something was wrong.
He woke up feeling refreshed and strong which was unlikely after a full moon. When he inspected his arms he knew something bad had happened. There were no scars from the bites he had given himself last night. Along with this, he could see black hair falling down his shoulders.
He scrambled out of his warm bed to the closest mirror in the odd room he had woken up in.
Remus skidded to a halt when he was face to face with Sirius Black, looking at him with wild eyes and a heaving chest.
Remus’s mind ran with all sorts of horrible thoughts before he decided the mirror was cursed.
That was until he remembered he could literally see the difference in his body.
Spiralling with paranoia, Remus leaned against the mirror and stared at the wide, light grey eyes looking back in terror. Not an expression he has ever seen on Sirius.
It hits Remus coldly when he remembers Snape’s threat from the beginning of the week about how he was going to make Remus regret it when Remus told the headmaster that Snape found out his secret and was going to out him. Obviously, Dumbledore forbade it and Snape was left restless and bitter.
But this?
Turning Remus into the most popular boy, one he hardly knew, was ridiculous and futile. He changed Remus’s appearance, so what? At least now he was temporarily hot.
Remus evened out his breathing. This was fine. He would fix this before classes started. He leaned his back against the mirror and looked around the room. He took in the music posters and the way the room had unfamiliar things scattered around.
Worse, he saw James Potter blinking blearily from his own bed. Remus froze, thinking for the first time that maybe this wasn’t some type of fucked up polyjuice potion and that perhaps Snape had discovered a way to swap his body with someone elses.
The blatant reason blares through his mind. It was so someone else would take in their wounds and make the connection that Remus was a werewolf.
His hands began to shake. Who was he swapped with? Snape? Mulciber? Definitely with someone out to get him.
He’d run to the infirmary to see if he was right. As he darted to the door, James intercepted him. Remus hadn’t realised he had gotten up.
“Where are you off too? You look like you’ve seen a ghost,” he yawned.
Don’t reply, don’t reply, don’t reply.
What would Sirius say?
Sirius.
Where was Sirius?
It dawned on Remus that Snape had probably swapped his body with Sirius’s. Somehow, that was almost worse. His eyes fluttered shut.
“Nowhere,” he breathed.
Remus could not get rid of Sirius’s friends. They followed him everywhere and always pestered him with conversation. He was gnawing on a fork by lunch because he hadn’t seen Sirius all day and couldn’t visit the infirmary alone.
He could burst into tears from anxiety.
Surely, if things were horrible, a professor would have pulled him aside.
The more he waited, the more his paranoia grew. He couldn’t hide it from Sirius’s friends who watched him like hawks but didn’t press after how stressed he’d been the first time they tried.
“Can I sit here?” a voice asked from behind.
Remus stiffened, knowing that voice intimately. James and Peter looked curiously at the speaker. Slowly, Remus turned around, feeling faint and pale.
His own face stared at him with a raised brow. Sirius looked sickly in his body but he hid his pain well. Not waiting for his response, he flopped down next to Remus.
“Looking good, by the way.”
Remus cringed into himself and Sirius kicked him sharply under the table. Remus flinched. “Ah— thank you? I mean, I know.”
Sirius gave him a very unimpressed look with Remus’s evaluation of him. Remus chewed on his bottom lip, drawing Sirius’s gaze to it. Right, of course. He wasn’t in his own body. It was surreal to see himself sitting next to him with expressions he didn’t usually make. Those at least screamed Sirius Black.
Fortunately, Sirius ignored his usual group of friends who gawked openly. Remus didn’t know what he’d do if he went into his usual chatter with the boys. He could see that Sirius’s temperament today was reserved and displeased.
Sirius side eyed him. “Can I ask why?”
Remus looked at him with despair, this wasn’t his doing at all. “Snape,” he answered mournfully.
Sirius looked past him to glare hatefully at the Slytherin table. The snarl on his face was the harshest expression Remus had ever seen. “Stupid fucking cunt,” he snapped.
Remus jolted, not expecting it. He started worrying that Sirius was very unhappy to be in a werewolf’s body. He obviously knew what Remus was by now, especially if he spoke to Madam Pomfrey.
“Cruel, tactless, piece of shit,” Sirius listed with agitation. James and Peter stared at him with eyes wide with shock and glee. They would surely harass him later with gratitude. Brilliant.
“Let’s go to Mada—“ Sirius’s eyes flicker to his friends. “Miss McGonagall wants to talk to us about doing study sessions together.”
Remus caves in on himself. He was going to be in so much shit. He irrationally thought of Aurors waiting for him outside.
Sirius places a hand gently on his own and Remus looks into his kind eyes. “Hey, you’re alright, I promise. I’m going to fix this.” He casts another venomous look at the Slytherin table. “And I’m going to fucking kill him.”
Remus holds his breath. Perhaps, their shared hatred of Snape would save him. He lets Sirius tug him out of his chair and doesn’t let go of his hand, clasping it tightly for support. In response, Sirius rubs a thumb soothingly over it.
#lowkey want to write this in sirius’s pov#wolfstar#my fics#sirius x remus#remus lupin#sirius black#sirius/remus#wolfstar fanfic#wolfstar fanfiction#wolfstar fic#body swap au#wolfstar body swap au#wolfstar microfic#wolfstar oneshot
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Jaskier retreated from the main hall. Leaving the remaining Wolves to see to their injured and dead and readying himself for another night tucked away in his wreck of a room, determined to stay out of the way after already having been largely ignored since his arrival and then shoved away by Lambert twice. He found himself wondering if he should count the first time, considering that he probably saved Jaskier’s life in the process? Probably not. The second time though was just plain spiteful. But then, he and Geralt had been travelling together for years and the white haired Witcher tolerated his casual affection at best – why else would it always be down to Jaskier to initiate when he'd seen the Witcher freely hug and give causal touches to Ciri and Yen multiple times?
He swallowed down his self pity as he realised he’d taken a wrong turn somewhere – he definitely didn’t recognise that particular crack in the wall.
“Fuck.” He sighed as he slumped against the wall. Part of him wondered if he should maybe be feeling a little more panicked about this turn of events, considering he’d been warned that some parts of the Keep were unsafe (whilst neglecting to tell him which parts. So that was incredibly fucking useful). Then again, it wasn’t exactly like he’d be missed, even if the Wolves weren’t currently preoccupied with the aftermath of a possessed princess unleashing almost literal Hell. He closed his eyes and rest his head against the freezing stone. Sod it, this was just as out of the way as anywhere else. He’d try and get his bearings in an hour or two.
“Jaskier. Jaskier!”
Jaskier jerked awake at the shout of his name, squinting at the sun through the window, surprised by how little time had actually passed.
Geralt barrelled around the corner just as he was trying to shake some of the stiffness out of his shoulders, the Witcher looking panic-stricken as he practically ran to the Bard, “Jaskier.”
“Geralt, what’s wrong? Has something else happened with Ciri? Has Yen’s chaos - oh!” He was cut off as Geralt pulled him to his chest, wrapping his arms around him tightly and effectively trapping the Bard’s own between their torsos as he hid his face in Jaskier’s shoulder, “Fuck. Geralt, talk to me. What’s happened?”
“I couldn’t find you.”
Jaskier gave an eloquent “Huh?” at that, “Geralt, did you hit your head and not say anything again? You did find me. You broke me out of prison, remember?”
He felt Geralt shake his head, “No. Just now. You weren’t in the hall, or where Yen showed me you’d been sleeping or anywhere else I checked. I thought something had happened to you and none of us had noticed. I hadn’t noticed.” He pulled his face away, allowing Jaskier to fully look at him, “You scared me.”
Jaskier lowered his eyes, ‘Congratulations Julian. Yet another fuck up.’
“I’m sorry. I thought it’d be better for everyone if I stayed out the way.”
“No, Jaskier.” Large fingers tilted his chin up until sky blue met molten yellow, “I’m sorry. For pushing you away on the mountain, for keeping you at arms length here, for how the others have treated you.”
“I don’t think you have much control over the last one to be fair.”
“Yes, I do. Ciri made me realise I should have set them right as soon as I arrived back. She gave Lambert an earful for shoving you like he did after his injuries had been checked over.”
Jaskier gave a brief smile at that before the mood turned serious again, “Can I ask why though?”
“Hmm?”
“I thought we were ok after you trusted me to escort Ciri and then you just acted as if I were invisible. what did I do wrong?” He couldn’t stop the tears blurring his vision, “I know I can be too much. I was too much when we were together, I see that now and I want to try and fix things. Stop being so, well, me. But I can’t when I don’t even know what I did between the prison and here to make you angry at me again.”
Geralt looked at him like Jaskier had just been the one to sucker punch him, “You did nothing Jaskier, you never did. I acted as I did because, well, you terrified me. Still do.”
Jaskier gave a wet laugh, “I seem to be making a habit of that today.”
“I mean it.” Geralt continued, “You shoehorned yourself alongside me and you were – are – so full of life and joy and light. I wanted to keep you for myself. Something I’ve never felt so strongly before, not for Yen, not for Renfri. I wanted to know you completely and be known in return and that realisation scared me more than any monster I’ve faced. I didn’t know how to let you in like that, so I pushed you away.”
In a moment of bravery (or perhaps madness), he brushed his lips against Jaskier’s forehead, hearing the Bard’s breath catch, “You’re not the one who needs to change, Jaskier. You never were. I just don’t know how to start, but I’ll try. For you and Ciri and Yen.”
“My darling Witcher, you already have changed.” Jaskier, squirmed until he was able to loop his arms around Geralt’s waist, finally returning the embrace, “You and Yen are able to be in the same room and act like actual adults, you finally took responsibility for Ciri, and as for me-“ Jaskier gave Geralt’s waist a squeeze, “You do realise this is the first time you’ve hugged me first?”
Geralt brushed his lips against Jaskier’s brow again, firmer this time, “First of many. If you’ll allow it.”
“Always.”
#the witcher#the witcher fanfiction#geralt/jaskier#geralt x jaskier#geraskier#jaskier/geralt#jaskier x geralt#witcher geralt#geralt#geralt of rivia#witcher jaskier#jaskier
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Harrow the Ninth Reaction - Chapter 43
GRIDDLE. SHE SAID GRIDDLE!!
‘She dug her hands into the mattress and she cried for Gideon Nav’ GIDEON NAV MENTION!!!! FINALLY HERE WE ARE!!
and Abigail and Magnus remember being murdered okay!! i had assumed all this time that everyone in these chapters were just constructions of Harrow’s memories but i guess not
i mean i’m happy i realised something was up with the River and Harrow’s memories, but this is the second time in this book series that major characters have been revealed to be revenant ghosts, and i never suspected it. when i get around to reading Nona the Ninth i’m going to just be assuming that every character is a ghost unless explicitly proven otherwise
‘my grandfather’s arm bones over the door’ this is such a small detail but i guess bone decor is everywhere not just the Ninth, i have not forgotten Harrow’s proclivity for it in GtN. once everything in these books is over, if she’s still alive, Harrow could absolutely make a killing as an interior designer. though she’d probably consider it beneath her skills sadly 😔
omg the whole reason Harrow falsified the memories of Gideon wasn’t just guilt, but to make sure she didn’t absorb her soul!! oh Harrow i love you so much, just being casually brilliant and finding a (kind-of) way around the cost of Lyctorhood so Gid could survive
wait there’s another soul that Abigail’s worried about, an ‘invasive’ one thats haunting Harrow? possibly the one who said ‘me’ in Harrow’s 2nd person narration earlier?
my first thought was the invasive soul is the Locked Tomb body, but she left Harrow’s sight recently. no clue who else it could be though. i mean Ianthe was also knew about the whole memory thing and was getting all up in Harrow's brain, i feel like it very much could be her, i still don’t trust her
i like the choice to make time feel like it lasts a shorter amount of time for the revenants in the bubble, (Abigail thinking it was 8 weeks vs the actual nine months), feels like it keeps it from being less horrific of a fate. the other way round, it feeling longer than it actually is, would be awful.
Abigail i love you and your ... Interesting priorities, but i’m sure your fern collection is being watered by someone, while Harrow is quite literally bleeding out right now
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