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4xiaojun · 1 year

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DEAR DIARY, I HATE JUNGWON !

SUMMARY | you hate jungwon- like a lot. everyone at your school knows it at this point, so why is it the minute you see him shed a tear, you feel bad? with this new found guilt, you're able to see new sides of jungwon that your anger blinded you from before. it doesn't take you long to realise that you don't hate these new sides of him as much as you'd like to.

PAIRING | jungwon x fem!reader

WC | 18.2k

WARNINGS | profanity, violence, vandalism, mentions of alcohol & sex

FEATURING | second lead sunghoon, heeseung is mentioned & ITZY

TAGLIST | unofficial taglist i just need the hype pls @tyunni @geombyu @yjwfav @junityy @jaeyunverse @ijhyo @equalheart @odxrilove @iyeonjuni @fairybinie

A/N | before u come at me for plagairising I AM HYUKAAS OKAY THIS IS MY FIC AHAHA IT'S A REPOST initially i was going to rewrite this but u all loved the og version so i'm going to give u the og version i literally have not changed a word. u guys gave this a lot of love on my old acc so i hope u enjoy :)

you: wtf

jung_1: ?

you: chemistry club??? really?

jung_1: i wanted the piano club

you: so what? me going isn't going to stop u

jung_1: u think i wanna see your face every day after school?

class is enough smh

you: so u signed me up for chem?

jung_1: it was the only one left lol

you: stfu

jung_1: k lol

From what you can remember, Jungwon hasn't always been like this. You've tried to sit down and pinpoint a date back to when this all started, but the best you could come up with was when he blew out your candle at your eleventh birthday party. That was the first and last time you had ever invited him over to your house.

The two of you are neighbours, and yet you've never had a single decent conversation with the guy in your entire life. Ever since the two of you were little, Jungwon always found a way to laugh at you, talk shit about you or do something to purposely annoy you. Your friends always warned you not to do anything back, that he was only doing it to draw out a reaction, but it was so hard not to whenever you saw his stupid face. The fact that he's so popular in school doesn't help either. Whenever you complain about him to anyone, you're always met with the same thing: "But he's so nice to me." "He's not like that with me." "You must have done something to upset him, Jungwon is the sweetest."

Yeah, sweetest pain in your ass. There is literally nothing about him that you like. It's clear to everyone that you hate Jungwon.

Sitting on your chair, you rest your chin on your palm as you stare at the whiteboard. You're fuming, to say the very least. Written on the board are everyone's names under the club they'd be joining as soon as the bell rings. Yours is supposed to be under piano club but instead it's under chemistry with only one other person who signed up. You barely even know who he is.

"Who's Sunghoon?" Your friend, Yuna, whispers.

You recognise the name (being in the same school for 3 years, it would be kind of rude not to) but you don’t really know who he is. “I think it’s the guy that ice skates.”

"He's so cute," Yuna gawks, "you're lucky you're gonna be alone with him for the rest of the year."

You scrunch your face at your friend, before letting out a long sigh. "Yeah, doing chemistry." Fuck Jungwon, signing you up for a club that you're already failing in class, just so he can go to piano. You purposefully ran to the piano club stand so that you could sign it before him, but that asshole must have rubbed out your name and written his instead. As much as you despise him, you have to admit that was a clever thing to do.

Yuna slaps you lightly, "Maybe you can get him to tutor you for free. I heard he gets people to pay him ₩75,000 per hour."

"No, I'm pretty sure the point of chemistry club is to have fun. He's probably gonna be a nerd the entire time," you grumble into your palm, already miserable about the hours and hours you're going to have to spend with a science nerd. There must have been dozens of clubs with spaces still available; Jungwon could have picked another music club, a sports club, literature, art, history, debate, politics, or even maths for God's sake. But the boy chose chemistry. He knows that you're failing all three of your sciences, so not only did he remove you from your favourite club, he put you into your worst enemy—second to Jungwon. God, did you want to pull out his stupid black hair right then.

“You’re not going to let him win this one, are you?” Yuna deadpans, probably bored from your endless war with Jungwon. You don’t blame her, if the tables were turned, you’d probably say the same things she does. “Just leave it.” “If you ignore him he’ll stop.” “Be the bigger person.” Blah blah blah. It would be humiliating to let Jungwon get away with anything. You can’t even imagine it, coming into school everyday and hearing him laugh at you as if he has the upper hand. You would never ever let that happen, not even over your dead body.

Brushing your hair out of your face, you chuckle breathlessly. “As if.” There is absolutely no way in hell that you would let Jungwon get away with ruining your after school club for the rest of the year. You had to come up with something big, something that would make him suffer just as much—no, more—for the whole year, too.

Sadly, you didn't have enough time to come up with a plan.

"Okay, so why is a fluoride ion bigger than a sodium ion?"

You groan loudly, whacking your head against the table for what feels like the fiftieth time. You've been in this room for ten minutes with Sunghoon, and he's already managed to make it boring as hell. Optimistic, you came into this room hoping that Sunghoon would come up with some cool science-y project for the two of you to do. Instead, his idea of fun is extra homework. The guy seriously brought question packs for you two to do for a whole hour.

What a joke.

"Sunghoon, why are you asking me like I know?"

He gives you a judgemental look, and at this point you're too bored to care about how stupid he thinks you are. You should be practising the piano and making keyboard remixes on the iMacs, not memorising the periodic table with a nerd.

"Come on," he breaks into a nervous giggle, "this is like, the third question. We haven't even gotten to the hard part yet."

No. There's no way he's taking this club seriously. Dramatically, you push back your chair and glare at him. "You know what, I'm going to go get something to drink. You answer some questions while I'm gone, yeah?" You fake smile at him, unable to look at his nerdy face any longer. God, you hate science kids.

Skipping out of the classroom, you make your way to the vending machine. You need a warm drink to calm your stress down but the cafeteria is too far away so a bottle of apple juice should do. Anything that gives you an excuse to stay away from Sunghoon so that you can focus on your plan to get your revenge on–

"Oh, Y/N! What a coincidence!"

There it is, that dreaded, child-like voice you've grown to hate. Turning around, you're met with his half closed eyes and grin so upturned you can see his baby teeth. If you weren't in the middle of paying for your drink you would have slapped that smirk right off his face. Okay, maybe not, but it's really pissing you off.

"Yeah right, you probably came here to laugh at me." You grumble, fumbling with the vending machine that's choosing not to be on your side today.

He smiles again, shoving his hands in his pockets and shrugging like the oh so innocent boy he is. "I just wanted to check up on how you're doing in your new club. I understand, Y/N," he puts a hand on his chest, pouting, "I really do. Chemistry isn't for everyone."

You whip your head at him immediately, causing him to snort into his hand and break into a laughter that echoes in the empty hallway. "Wow, Jungwon, you're so funny. Don't think for a second that I'm going to let you get away with this."

He comes closer and leans his elbow on the machine so that his head is right above yours, his eyes locking right onto you. Every time he gets close, you're reminded of when Yuna tells you to take a good look at him to see what all the girls in your school sees. But all you can see is an arrogant, stuck up piece of shit—his only entertainment being getting on your nerves. You can see why someone would find him attractive. But his personality is so strong that it practically covers all of his charm to you.

"Admit it," he laughs, "you can't beat me this time. This is one of the best things I've done, I'm kinda' proud of this one. I mean, nothing beats the–"

"Shut up, I am going to beat you. As soon as school's over, I'm coming up with something." You scowl, punching the vending machine so that it will let your bottle fall.

Jungwon coos at you, finding this whole situation amusing. "Aw, is it that hard that it's taking up all your brain space?" He asks in a baby voice. "You can't think of a plan better than mine because you're so busy trying to figure out what O stands for?"

Too focused on the stupid machine, you ignore the menacing voice coming from your left. You've smacked it, shaken it, kicked it, you're not really sure what else there is to do.

Jungwon pushes you out of the way and resets your order, making your jaw drop as you see your bottle that was so close to falling go back to its spot. You shove him back, annoyed that he thinks he can do whatever he wants just because he's stronger than you. "Hey, that was–"

Jungwon sighs dramatically, before bringing out his wallet from his pocket and pulling out a credit card.

"Show off." You mumble, crossing your arms as you watch him dial his order.

"The machine clearly doesn't like you." He smirks, as his coke falls immediately.

You try to hold back how shocked you are, and the urge to ask him to order for you. But with the way Jungwon snickers at you, you can tell he already knows. It isn't like he's going to order for you anyway.

And you're right, because here he is, popping open his can and sipping it right in front of you. He's acting like he's in a commercial for the drink, all just to wind you up. But you can't let him win, you'll never let him win. So you stay, and watch him drink until the last drop and walk away slowly.

Absolute pain in your ass.

Dear diary,

I hate Jungwon.

You're starting to get sick of starting all your diary entries with the same thing. Jungwon isn't even here; you're in your room, alone. There's nothing to remind you of him. Yet every night, you sit at your desk and scribble in your diary. And every night, you start off each entry reminding you that you hate him.

You flip through your diary entries of the past few weeks, and they're all starting to blur together. Each entry is almost as similar as the last. It's all the same thing—you hate Jungwon. You see him in the morning of school, your mood changes. You're reminded of him in your chemistry club, you get angry. You walk behind him on the way home from school, the two of you are arguing.

When the hell is this going to end?

To be honest, thinking about this is just making you hate him even more. The worst thing about this is that you can't even walk it off like you usually do at school. You're used to pacing the school corridors or the track field whenever he makes you really mad. But outside of school, you always meet him. It's either him, or his annoying and inappropriate older friends, or his evil dog. You'd rather rot in your room than risk having to waste your energy fighting with him, or running away from his dog, or pulling your skirt down from his friends.

You're trapped. He gets to enjoy his life while you're trapped at home, writing “I hate Jungwon” in your diary every single day. The power this guy holds over you is huge, and you just can't wait to move out to college to finally get rid of him.

Walking down the hallway, you bump into your chemistry partner of the past two weeks. To be honest, you don’t think you’ve ever seen this boy outside of the chemistry club, so seeing him now, walking tall, hands in his pockets and a lot of other students around him was quite a shock. You really thought he was nothing more than a nerd.

As soon as Sunghoon lays his eyes on you, he smiles widely and you can’t help the way your heart flutters a little at that. Did Jungwon really make you so angry about chemistry that you never noticed how good looking Sunghoon is? Or are you just that bad at it that you had no time to focus on Sunghoon’s looks? As he walks away from his friends and towards you, you gulp, brushing down your hair and skirt with your palms that are starting to sweat. You see this guy every single evening, what difference is it now?

“Hi Y/N,” he smiles, one hand sitting attractively in his pocket and another rubbing the back of his neck.

“Hi,” you reply, but your voice comes out as barely a whisper. You’re a little frightened at how shy you are in front of Sunghoon right now, when you were literally cursing him off in your head yesterday because he laughed at you for not knowing an equation.

He chuckles, and you swear your heart flips at the way his eyes crease when he does. “You know, I was starting to think that you didn’t even go to this school. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you around.”

Well, at least the feeling is mutual. “Yeah, me neither. I didn’t realise you’re kinda popular.” You say as you eye his large group of friends that are all waiting for him. “It must be the ice skating, right?” You joke, mentally slapping yourself for being rude.

Sunghoon laughs anyway, and he leans forward when does, making your heart nearly jump out of your chest. “Yeah, either that or my brain.”

“Nerd.” You playfully roll your eyes, finally being able to mix together the Sunghoon that gets all excited when he’s got a hard question right, and the Sunghoon that’s standing in front of you right now.

A voice interrupts the two of you. He always does. Whenever you manage to find a little bit of peace at school, Yang Jungwon always finds a way to ruin it. You’re so close to getting him charged for stalking at this point. Both you and Sunghoon turn around to see who was clearing their throat, and you almost growl when you do.

“What do you want?” You snap, not giving him the time of day.

Jungwon tilts his head with an offended look on his face and a hand on his heart like he always does. “That’s rude, Y/N, I was just–”

“She said what do you want.” Sunghoon deadpans beside you out of nowhere.

Jungwon furrows his brows, as do you. Nobody has ever come between the two of you bickering before, this was new to the both of you. You decided to stay quiet and see what Jungwon would say, a little nervous at how this might all play out.

“What?” Jungwon chuckles, jutting out his chin to make himself appear taller. The two are practically the same height, but something about Sunghoon’s figure makes him seem so much taller than Jungwon. Are you about to witness an alpha brawl out?

Sunghoon doesn’t move, you don’t even think he’s breathing right now. His eyes are trained on Jungwon’s with a glare so intense even you’re a little scared. “Is there something you need to say to Y/N?”

Jungwon’s brows remain furrowed as his eyes narrow and an annoyed look spreads across his face. How ironic, he’s starting to look like you. You don’t think you’ve seen Jungwon this physically frustrated since the time his bike broke when he was thirteen and he tried to kick it but ended up spraining his ankle. He always looks amused. No matter the situation, Jungwon always has a smile on his face. Seeing him like this—threatened—caught you a little off guard.

“I can say whatever the hell I want to her, pretty boy.” He muttered, his face inches away from Sunghoon’s.

Someone behind you whispers something about their sexual tension, almost making you snort at the scene. You have to purse your lips together to stop yourself from laughing, because now you can’t unsee it.

“Well, too bad we have somewhere to be, don’t we, Y/N?” Sunghoon turns to you, and all of a sudden you can feel everyone’s eyes focusing on you.

You giggle awkwardly, before making eye contact with Jungwon. He’s never glared at you like this before, and for the first time you can think of, you feel small in front of him. “Uh, yeah, we should, uh, get going.”

Sunghoon grins at Jungwon as soon as you speak, and barges past his shoulder aggressively before pulling you by your wrist to go and follow him. For some reason, though, you can’t help but turn around to see Jungwon standing there, already looking right at you.

“Sooo,” you sit on a desk as Sunghoon closes the door to the empty classroom the two of you are hiding in behind him, “you gonna’ explain what just happened?”

Sunghoon leans on the desk right in front of you and looks at you blankly, like what just happened didn’t happen at all. “What? You didn’t like it?”

“Like what? Jungwon’s probably going to be so mad because of this.” It’s true, the bike incident when he was thirteen led to him being extra rude for the whole time he was injured. You figure this time it’s his pride that’s hurt, so he’s going to lash out at you until he makes himself feel better. You haven’t even gotten back at him yet for the chemistry club situation, so you really don’t want to be dealing with a moody Jungwon; you’re scared of how creative he’s going to be.

Out of nowhere, Sunghoon lets out a dramatic groan, throwing his head back in vexation as he does. “Come on, Y/N, aren’t you bored of it?”

Confused, you answer. “Of what?”

“This whole cat and mouse deal you have going on with Jungwon? I remember being in the same class as you in our freshman year of high school, and everyone in the class was sick and tired of you two bickering everyday. I thought it’d blow over eventually. How are you still letting this go on?”

You open your mouth to respond but nothing comes out. Of course you’re tired of it. Of course you want it to end. Of course you want nothing to do with Jungwon and you want a peaceful last year of school to focus on your exams and college. Of course you want to be able to hang out with your friends without thinking about Jungwon. Of course you want to write in your diary without mentioning him. Of course you’re sick of this all. But how the hell are you supposed to end it? You hate his guts and he hates yours. His pride may be thick but yours is definitely thicker.

This situation reminds you of the time you did try to be nice to Jungwon once, with the hopes all of this mess would end.

Your mum just got off the phone and suddenly bursted her way into the kitchen. A little startled at her fast movements, you followed her and sat on the counter. “Mum? What’s wrong?” Panicking, she gathered different ingredients and kitchenware to cook something, and you couldn’t be any more confused. “Mum! What’s going on?”

“The Yang family,” she started, already mixing away two eggs, “their son is sick. This is the only time she has ever asked me to do anything, Y/N. That family has looked down on us ever since we moved here, and not once has Mrs Yang ever asked for help. But she’s away, and her boy is at home sick without anyone to feed him. If I don’t make a good impression on that snobby little boy, they’ll think we’re incapable and cruel human beings. I have–”

“Okay, okay,” you laughed, not really thinking much of it. As far as you could care, Jungwon could starve. “As long as I’m not the one delivering it,” you mumbled, leaving the kitchen.

Of course you were the one delivering it.

Releasing a long sigh from the pit of your chest, you tried to put aside your pride and hatred to drop off the tray of food for Jungwon. You tried to remind yourself to have some humanity, that he was sick and alone and needed some food. The only thing that managed to help you push through was imagining him begging on his knees for food from you and you holding the tray away from his sick hands’ reach. A little evil, but it helped you press his doorbell.

When Jungwon opened the door, you could feel your heart sink to the ground. All those mischievous thoughts in your mind about teasing him flew out of your mind as soon as you got a good look at his face. He was extremely pale, and his eyes were red and glassy. He looked frail, like a single touch could knock him over. You gasped when you saw him, and immediately took a step inside to go and help him anyway you could.

“Hey, hey, are you okay?” You asked, placing the back of your palm on his head that was drenched in his sweat. “Oh, my God, you’re boiling. Jungwon, take your coat off.” Placing the tray on the ground, you tried to help him take off his coat but he wouldn’t budge. Looking back at him, he had a disgusted look on his face.

“What the hell are you doing? My mum said you came here to give me food, not baby me.” He shrugged his coat back on to stop it from sliding off his shoulder and snatched the tray up from the ground.

“What? I’m trying to help-”

“Who asked you to? Piss off, Y/N.”

Standing outside of his house, you were shocked. You were just trying to help him. You put aside the feelings you two had towards each other because he was sick. Even sick Jungwon is an asshole, you thought. That was when you made a mental note to never be nice to this guy ever again. He didn't deserve it.

“Y/N?” Sunghoon waves his hand in front of yours, forcing you out of your daydream.

You shake your head, “Oh, sorry. What were you saying?”

Sunghoon stares at you for quite a while without saying anything, letting you scan his features freely. His dark hair extends at the back of his neck, kind of like a mullet, and it suits him a lot. His eyebrows are sharp, and you inwardly frown at how they look better taken care of than yours. His eyes aren’t anything special, but they’re looking at you intently right now; they look heavy, like he has a lot to say. Sunghoon’s lips, however, God you could stare at them forever. They’re so pink and plumpy, he’s definitely a good kisser.

“Are you staring at my lips right now?” Your eyes snap back to Sunghoon’s eyes in horror that he caught you. He laughs at your reaction, so you follow, covering your mouth with a hand. “So what’s the deal with you and Jungwon?” He asks after the two of you have calmed down.

You shrug, wanting to avoid his question since you already ask yourself that every single day. “Nothing, really.”

“So, you just argue for fun? Masochism, I like it.” He chuckles, and you dart your eyes at him. “No, no I’m just saying, if you can’t even tell me why you two argue, what’s the point of doing it?”

It’s a genuine question. It’s a question Yuna has asked you, your teachers have asked you, the other girls in your friend group have asked you, your parents have asked you, but most importantly one that you’ve asked yourself countless times. And you’re annoyed because the answer is there is no answer. You don’t ever remember doing anything to offend Jungwon when he first moved into your neighbourhood or your school. You just remember him being a little shit, thinking he could walk all over and bully you. But your dad brought you up differently, to stand up for yourself. That’s why Jungwon’s always on offence, and you always seem to be on the defence.

“I never start anything,” you look at Sunghoon, and you find it heartwarming how he’s listening so intently, “He’s always the one that approaches me, so I just bite back. If I never did, I would be crushed by now.” You explain, fiddling with the edge of your sleeve.

“So Jungwon’s a bully?” Sunghoon asks, and your body suddenly feels tons heavier. You hate that word, it just doesn’t sound right.

“No, not a bully.”

“Sounds like it.” Sunghoon shrugs. “He’s mean to you so you’re mean back. Except it’s been going on for years.”

You get up from the desk and sit on another, feeling a little uncomfortable with this situation. “Um, I guess? It doesn’t bother me that much. It’s just becoming repetitive at this point. Today’s the first day he didn’t say something stupid. It was relieving, you know.” You explain, a smile unconsciously growing on your lips.

“Don’t worry,” Sunghoon comes over, his wide chest blocking your field of vision, “now that you’ve got me around, he won’t bother you as much.”

Dear diary,

I had fun today.

It’s only half way through your diary entry that you notice you didn’t start it off with the infamous “I hate Jungwon.” Actually, reading the entry made you realise how little you even saw him today. The only time you spoke to him was when you were with Sunghoon. How long has it been since the two of you didn’t have a petty argument? You find yourself smiling down at your diary, a wave of relief washing over your body at the thought of Sunghoon being your first step to freedom.

You also find yourself smiling when you started scribbling down how fun your chemistry club was today. You and Sunghoon barely even finished a question, the two of you talking and laughing the entire time. He even promised that if he was ever free, he’d give you occasional free tutoring for chemistry. Life would be so much easier if Jungwon was more like Sunghoon, wouldn’t it?

Somebody should have warned you that your happiness is short lived, because while you were giving Yuna a detailed update of everything to do with Sunghoon, Jungwon’s voice echoed behind you. You promise yourself that one day, you need to creep up behind him and his friends and cut them off because this was really starting to piss you off.

You and Yuna turn around, both you offering him the exact same defeated look.

“That Sunghoon guy,” Jungwon starts, taking slow steps towards you. “Since when did you two get close?”

Yuna scoffs loudly, putting a hand on her hip. “Why? You jealous, Yang?” Yeah, as if he would be. He’s probably jealous of you, seeing that tension between them yesterday.

Jungwon laughs sarcastically before turning back to you so fast you had to flinch your head backwards. He was a little too close for your liking so you stepped back. “Yeah, you wish. No, I’m just asking because he’s an asshole, and I don’t want to have to talk to him every time I wanna annoy you.”

You push his shoulder away from you and laugh in disbelief. “Well, why don’t you just stop trying to annoy me then, huh?” You could tell what you said threw Jungwon off guard a little by the way he twitched his brows. This is the first time you’ve ever seen him take a second to come up with something to say, usually it’s second nature to him. You smirked, thanking God for giving you the upper hand today. “Aww, are you insecure, Jungwon? Does Sunghoon make you insecure?” You ask in that irritating baby voice he always uses on you. “Are you jealous because you’ll never have hair as good as his? Or because you’ll never be as good looking as him? Are you sad that–”

“Y/N, I’m not the one that attracts the opposite sex through pity.”

That shuts you up completely, and your confidence withers to bits. He’s got that same disgusted look on his face as that day you went to visit him. It’s not like he’s never said something as harsh as that before, so you’re not really sure why this is affecting you so much. As embarrassing as it is to admit, that really hurt.

“First, he has to witness how horrible you are at chemistry. Then he saw you speaking to me, and probably felt bad for you. And let’s not even mention your looks.” Jungwon continues, peeling off every layer you’ve been forced to wrap around yourself ever since you met him. Slowly, he’s stripping away your pride, your dignity, and even your self esteem. “You think I’m jealous of a guy that sleeps around so much he probably has STDs? I think our fighting has made you forget that I also get girls, Y/N. I just don’t flout them for attention like he does.”

“Let’s go,” Yuna whispers, tugging on your sleeve. Your eyes are on the ground, unable to meet Jungwon’s. You’ve never felt so insignificant and helpless in front of him before, your body is unable to catch up with all these new emotions. “Come on, Y/N.”

The two of you are walking down the hallway, making your way to the bathroom. Tears are pooling in your eyes, something Jungwon has never managed to make happen. You feel so stupid, so stupid for letting him break you after all these years. All these years you wasted arguing with him almost every single day of your life. For what? What did either of you get out of it? You’ve never even stopped for a second to consider the words that you two were saying to each other, how much you were hurting each other. Well, you doubt you’ve ever really hurt Jungwon. He’s probably jumping up and down right now, cheering at the thought of finally winning. You just hope this means that it’s all over. You’re exhausted.

“Y/N?” Sunghoon’s voice appears just as you’re about to follow Yuna into the bathroom.

You feel your breath grow heavier at the sound of his voice, humiliation rippling throughout your body. Maybe that’s why this affected you so much. Maybe it’s because Jungwon was calling you an idiot for thinking Sunghoon liked you. Because apparently he’s just another popular boy. And because apparently, he's just been fooling you.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” Hurriedly, he walks up to you and places a hand atop your head, his doe eyes boring right into yours. You want to push him away so hard and tell him to go find another girl to play with, but all you can do is stare back at him. “Look, come here.” He pulls you away from the safe space of the female bathroom and right into the disabled ones.

You don’t know why, but as soon as Sunghoon locks the door, your tears start falling against your will. On instinct, you turn away and bring a hand to stop yourself from sobbing audibly. If what Jungwon said is true, you cannot let Sunghoon see you crying. You’ve read enough romance books to know that bad boys love it when a girl is vulnerable. But Sunghoon doesn’t speak; you’re not even sure he moves. The room is silent, albeit your quick breaths and occasional sobs. At this point, you’re just letting your body move on its own. Your mum always tells you it’s best to cry it out, to let your emotions ride out their course. So you decide to stay there and continue to cry into your already soaked hands.

Once you’re done wiping away your cheeks and rubbing your eyes, you make your way to the mirror to see what you look like. If Sunghoon wasn’t in the room you would have cried all over again just from seeing your reflection. “Ugh, I’m a mess.”

Sunghoon giggles, and lifts himself up from leaning against the door to come stand behind you. Gently, he brushes away strands of your hair from your face and fixes your collar for you. “I think,” he makes eye contact with you in the mirror, “you look just fine.”

Dear diary,

Unfortunately, I still hate Jungwon.

“No, why are you starting it like that again?” Yuna huffs beside you, probably disappointed at your relapse. It’s been a week since Jungwon made you cry, and it’s been a calm week, too. You never told Sunghoon what happened, but he’s been staying by your side at school since. He likes to call himself your personal bullmastiff, and that he scares away Jungwon who’s only a sheep. Although you’re still terrified that what Jungwon said about Sunghoon being a manwhore is true, there’s still a part of you that hopes it isn’t. You’re hoping he isn’t just hanging around to get in your pants.

“Because I’m mad, Yuna. If we’re really ending this, I can’t be the only one that’s upset about it. I need to think of one final thing to get back at him. Something that will really hurt him.” You explain, really disappointed in how much you’ve been lacking this school year. You haven’t gotten him back once, and it’s frustrating you.

“Hm, what about his motorbike?” Yuna asks, an evil glint to her eyes.

“No.” You shake your head. “No way. I would love to, believe me–”

“So why not?”

“Because his parents would kill me!”

“Oh come on, that bike costs to them what a piece of gum costs to us, Y/N.”

“No, I heard him tell his friend. You know that pervert, Heeseung? Yeah, they were talking about it and Jungwon was saying that it’s from a limited series and that his parents had to fly out to Thailand to bid for it.” You whisper, for some reason you don’t really know. “Thailand, Yuna.”

“Okay, why don’t we wear masks? We can get Sunghoon to help us, too. You know, like them ski masks.” Yuna motions the mask with her hands, a persuasive look on her face. You’re tempted to, you really are. The thought of taking the only thing that Jungwon seems to have human feelings for away from him is very tempting.

“But wait, he wouldn’t know it’s me.”

“Uh, Y/N, that’s a good thing? If he knows it’s you, you’d be sued.”

“Oh, yeah, true.”

“We can enjoy our victory from afar, okay?”

You suck in a deep breath. “Okay.”

This may be the worst idea you’ve ever thought of in your entire life.

Here you are, standing in between Sunghoon (who Yuna had to convince for hours to come along) and Yuna. The three of you are wearing your ski masks, but Sunghoon is too much of a cheapskate to buy a new one so he’s wearing his dad’s bright blue mask and making the three of you look stupid.

“Okay, on the count of three–”

“No wait!” Sunghoon’s voice squeaks as he whisper-shouts.

You and Yuna whip your heads into his direction, stunned at his voice crack. “Sunghoon, you’re the only guy here!” You whisper-shout back. “You can’t be the scared one.”

“I have never broken the law before, if I get caught doing this my parents are going to kill me, Y/N.” He panics, yet neither of you can take him seriously with his idiotic mask on.

“What are you talking about? I’m pretty sure you broke about five laws driving us here in your mum’s car.” You snap, before looking at Yuna. “But maybe he’s r–”

“No, guys it’s now or never.” Yuna whispers, before tugging on both yours and Sunghoon’s sleeves, running ahead. Your veins are booming so loud you’re worried someone will be able to hear it. Arriving at the tail of the motorcycle, you raise a trembling finger to touch it. You gasp when you do, already mentally hearing the sounds of sirens coming closer and closer.

Yuna pulls out a hairpin and shoves it into the keyhole of the motorcycle while you and Sunghoon crouch and cower behind her, failing to keep a proper look out. This feels so wrong, but it’s too late to go back now. Sunghoon’s stupid mask is probably plastered all over the CCTVs already. You’ll probably need a miracle to not get yourself landed in prison.

Yuna whimpers as she struggles to switch on the engine. You’re starting to panic even more now, the thought of this all going horribly wrong circling your mind repeatedly. “It’s not working!” She yells, and you and Sunghoon look at each other with wide eyes.

“Go help her!” You motion at him, your heart drumming louder than it ever has before.

“What do you mean go help her, why don’t you go help her?!” Sunghoon doesn't budge and only tightens his hold on the tail of the motorcycle.

“No, I’m keeping look out!”

“No you’re not, you’re looking at me!”

“Will you two shut up and come help me?!” Yuna screams, and you shoot up to go over and help her. It’s useless, though. No matter how much the two of you twist and turn the hairpin, the engine doesn’t turn on. “Why isn’t it working? We practised this like a thousand times!”

“I don’t know! Maybe because it’s a limited edition?!” You scream back, the plan blowing up in your face.

“Fuck!” Yuna slams the head of the bike in anger as you start to lose control of your breaths. “I think I’ve broken the keyhole.”

You groan loudly, closing your eyes to think of a way to fix this. Trying so hard to calm yourself down, you attempt to come up with another plan. It’s either that or the three of you need to escape—now

But as always, Jungwon’s voice interrupts you. His timing is probably his only positive attribute.

“Hey!” He barks at the other end of the road, making you and Yuna look at each other like you’ve seen a ghost. He’s running as fast as he can, so much so you can see his forehead shining under the street lights.

“Let’s ditch the bike!”

“No! We can’t let this all be for nothing!”

“Out of the way ladies!” Sunghoon’s voice appears out of nowhere, and you turn to see him standing over the bike with a large pole in his hands. Oh, my God. Instinctively, you and Yuna jump off the bike and run behind Sunghoon to watch him do his dirty work.

You poke out your head, trying to catch your breath and a glimpse of Jungwon. “He’s close, hurry up!”

“No!” Jungwon screams, reaching his arms out, dread written all over his little baby face. “Stop, please!”

Sunghoon ignores him and draws back the pole before slamming it against the metal of the motorcycle. He hits it again and again, parts flying all over the place each time. He yells at every impact, like he was beating up a person.

Jungwon arrives, and you can't help but notice his breaths are shaky and the strands of hair sticking to his forehead. He pulls Sunghoon away from you and punches him right in the jaw, a roar ripping right from the bottom of his lungs. The light sensors of the neighbouring houses switch on, and some neighbours even come out to take a peek. With the rush of the scene flowing through your veins, and the fear that all of this is for nothing, you pick up the pole that fell out of Sunghoon’s hands and hit the bike yourself. Hearing Jungwon beg like that so helplessly for the first time in your life only fuels your anger even more. Each whack, each hit, your mind flashes back to the times Jungwon hurt you, the times Jungwon forced you to build another wall.

“What’s the point of going to the school dance? It’s not like anybody wants to go with you, anyway.” Whoops, there goes the headlight.

“Oh, my God, you might as well go home if you’re going to be dressed like that the entire trip. Stop embarrassing us.” Oh no, the brake is broken.

“You failed chemistry again? Look, guys, she got 10%! What a loser!” Aw man, now the gas tank is leaking.

Before you can damage the bike anymore, Yuna pulls you back into reality. She’s yelling something at you, but your eyes can’t help but focus on Jungwon struggling against Sunghoon’s hold.

“Please! No, please stop! I’ll give you anything you want, just get away from my bike!”

He’s crying.

Your surroundings suddenly blur as Yuna pulls you towards the car you guys came in. She shoves you in while telling you something but you can’t shift your attention from Jungwon who’s now given up and is laying still on the floor. He isn’t even fighting Sunghoon anymore. He’s just still, the base of his palms rubbing his eyes as his tears roll off his cheeks and fall onto the floor.

You made Jungwon cry. You made Yang Jungwon cry.

You're ashamed. You can't even step outside your house without making sure your hood is well over your head, hiding your face for anyone to see. There's no way anyone in the neighbourhood could know that it was you, right? You were completely covered; it could have been any two girls and a guy who smashed Jungwon's precious bike and brought him to tears.

Literal freaking tears.

In all the years you two have fought, Jungwon only ever smiles. He grins, or laughs that really annoying laugh where he throws his head back and stamps his feet on the floor. He pretends to be upset by putting a hand on his heart and squeezing his eyes shut, letting out an exaggerated gasp. He pretends to be mad by putting his hands on his hips and tilting his head so far sideways his hair looks like it's about to fall off. Jungwon is expressive, he enjoys winding you up by acting out his emotions—real or fake—dramatically. You've always hated it, but now you're praying that you're going to meet him on your way to school and he'll pretend to whine about how much you hurt him last night.

You shift your weight from one foot to the other, waiting at the end of the road for Jungwon to appear. You're not really sure why. What are you even going to say if you see him? You can't even apologise for what you've done, his parents would definitely put you behind bars. The wait is killing you, impatience stirring in your stomach at an outrageous speed. Gulping, you contemplate whether you should go knock on his door or not. Maybe he's oversleeping because he's tired from last night. Maybe if you knock, he'll wake up and nag at you for babying him like he did before.

Without really thinking, you head straight to his front door step with your bottom lip tucked between your teeth. Breathing in, you press the doorbell. His house is huge, and the noise the doorbell makes almost frightens you out of your skin. The loud ring echoes in your mind loudly as you tap your foot on the ground and keep your eyes locked onto the door. You press it again. And again. And again.

And then you wait.

But Jungwon never comes out. Nobody does. Not him, his sister or his parents. You're even hoping some sort of maid will come and open the door. But nobody does. You're trying not to overthink the situation: maybe he's just being a teenage boy and angry that his bike is broken so he's decided to skip school today.

The thought calms you down a little bit, so you turn around to leave. While turning back to the entrance, something shiny catches your eye around the corner of Jungwon's front yard. Curious, you scuttle towards it and poke your head around to see what it is. Your heart drops when you do. There it is. Jungwon's motorcycle that you smashed to pieces last night. Laying next to it, is an open box of tools, an unfinished cup of coffee, and Jungwon's jacket that he always wears under his blazer. The guilt at the pit of your stomach spreads around your body, squeezing your heart and scraping at your throat. Did he really stay up all night trying to fix it all by himself?

Did you go too far?

"Come on, you're being weird." Sunghoon crosses his arms, not shifting his gaze away from you.

Usually, you appreciate his attentiveness because it makes you feel special and gets you all shy, but today it isn’t doing you any good. You chuckle breathlessly and pull the sheet of paper towards you. "So I just need to calculate the mass of this mole, right? Using this equation?"

Sunghoon sighs, "Y/N, you know you can tell me what's wrong, right?"

You look up to meet his heavy gaze, his face already so close to yours. "No? Just because you chose to follow me around at school doesn't mean we're best friends, Sunghoon. It doesn't mean I can pour my heart out to you."

His expression doesn't falter, a blank look sitting on his face. "Then what are we?"

You pause, not really knowing how to answer that question. You're aware that he gives you butterflies, and that you find him attractive. But what about what Jungwon said about him sleeping around? Hasn't Sunghoon stayed around long enough for it to be more than that? Or is that all you guys are - good friends? But then why would Sunghoon ask that question?

Confused and already emotionally drained from your crime yesterday, you scrunch up the question sheet in your hand and get up from your chair. Without saying a word to Sunghoon, you leave.

At home, you’re lying on your couch, flicking through the channels on the television. Nothing is exciting you since you can’t seem to pay attention to anything. There are only two things on your mind right now. Jungwon and Sunghoon.

As for Jungwon, you can’t stop picturing him in that little alleyway beside his house—sweating away, hurting himself trying to fix his motorcycle. He’s probably not eaten any real food in awhile, desperate to get it back to how it was before you and Yuna came up with that stupid plan. You groan into your hands, thinking about how you never thought you’d live to see the day you’d feel bad for Jungwon. Doesn’t he deserve this? Why does this bike mean so much to him? He can just fly out to Thailand and buy another one, right?

Then your thoughts suddenly shift to Sunghoon. If he really is the manwhore Jungwon pinned him out to be, how come he’s been nothing but supportive since you and Jungwon stopped talking to each other? There are no girls, you can’t see them. The only way it would be possible is if he has this whole other life outside of school. The partying, drinking and sex type of life. He said he’s never broken the law before, but he seemed pretty confident driving his mum’s car with one hand on the wheel and another on the radio. Do you even know Sunghoon? Sure, he’s a science nerd and likes to ice skate. But what else is there to him?

You sigh when the sound of the doorbell interrupts your thoughts. It’s 10pm, who could possibly be ringing at this time of night? Groggily, you get up, fixing your bun so you look a bit more appropriate for whoever it is that’s ruining your free time. Peering through the peephole, you’re only met with a man in a black hood who’s purposefully hiding his face from the door. A little worried, you call your mum over. “Mum! There’s a creepy man at the door!”

She hops out of the kitchen with a meat knife in one hand, a frying pan in the other and a terrified look on her face. “You take the knife,” she whispers, “and hide behind me while I hold the pan and see what this guy wants.”

“Wait, why am I holding the knife?” You point at yourself, your mum’s behaviour starting to affect you, too.

The doorbell rings again and you both flinch. “Because if he sees the knife in my hand he might attack. So you hide behind me, okay? I’m just going to open the door like an inch wide, don’t worry.” Her eyes are wide while she tries to convince you to follow through with her not-well-thought out plan.

You do anyway. “Okay.”

You take the knife from your mum before the two of you sneak towards the door. Hesitantly, she opens it, and the thought of her life being taken right before you flashes in your mind for a second. Right before she lets out a relieved laughter, a hand on her chest. “It’s just the Yangs’ kid, Y/N. Don’t scare me like that again.”

Jungwon? What the hell is he doing here? You poke your head out from beside her and see Jungwon looking down at his feet that are awkwardly kicking the floor. “I didn’t know it was him, sorry.” You mutter, furrowing your brows at him.

“I am so sorry, Jungwon. Is there something you need?” Your mum asks, widening the door. When he looks up, you can’t help but cringe. His eye bags are heavy, and his lips are so chapped they’re peeling. Not to mention how red and sore his eyes are, he’s struggling to even keep them open. He’s worse than the time you went to give him the tray of food. You don’t even realise that you two are staring at each other silently until your mum speaks up again. “Is something wrong?”

His eyes quickly divert to your mum’s and he clears his throat aggressively. “No, uh, I just wanted to know if your husband is here.”

Your mum shakes her head, “No, he’s visiting his brother right now. He won’t be back for a few days.”

“Can you call him?” You don’t think you’ve ever seen Jungwon speak so meekly before. It’s odd, and the thought that you may have broken him makes your toes curl.

“Yes, yes, what do you want me to say?”

“How to fix a motorcycle brake. I remember that he had one a few years ago, so I thought he’d know.”

“Oh! Was it your motorbike that got smashed by those teenagers?” Jungwon nods, his eyes falling to the ground again. “Ms Jung showed me her CCTV cameras and how horrible those kids were. Their parents really need to sort them out.” She tuts, pulling out her phone.

Even your mum is disgusted by your behaviour last night. Of course she is, what you did was way out of line. You play with your fingers as the guilt travels further, making you a lot more jittery than usual. “My dad’s break broke once and he showed me how to fix it. I can, uh, help if you want.” It’s the least you can do, an easy repair, indirectly apologise, and throw away this stupid guilt so you can focus on getting your school life back on track. Maybe after you help him fix his bike, the two of you can finally be even and put your pettiness in the past once and for all.

Jungwon only looks you in the eyes, not saying anything. They remind you of Sunghoons’; loud and heavy.

“Oh, okay, that’s perfect. You go and help him. I’ll bring some snacks later.” Your mum pushes you out of the house, and you curse her for doing so when all you’re wearing is a hoodie, a pair of cycling shorts, and slippers. “Bye!” She waves, shutting the door in your face before you can even speak.

Well, this is awkward. Turning around, you try to put on a smile to Jungwon, but his eyes flicker straight from your eyes to your mouth before he storms back to his house. You follow him with a huff, realising that this is going to be a long hour. Catching up to him, you throw your hood over your head and stuff your hands in your pockets to try and stay warm. “So,” you start, trying to get straight to the point, “if we’re lucky, all you’ll need to do is clean the pistons. You know, those little metal things that open and close w-”

“I know what a piston is.” He grumbles, opening his gate. “I would have done that if that girl didn’t smash it off my bike.”

Your eyes lower as he unknowingly mentions you, and try to shake off the feeling of guilt again. You never would have guessed this would have hurt him this much. But then again, isn’t that what you wanted? “Oh,” you chuckle awkwardly, “well then this is gonna take a long time.”

The two of you arrive at the corner, and that’s when you notice there are three more cups of coffee lying next to the bike. You purse your lips, trying to throw away the imagination of him desperately attempting to stay awake, pushing his body well past its limits all in order to fix what you broke.

“Okayyy,” you whisper, copying Jungwon by getting on your knees, followed by a hiss once you feel the cold rocky ground. Clearing your throat, you turn to him, who still has an emotionless look on his face. You really wish he would do something right now. You wouldn’t even mind it if he made fun of you. Staring at him like this, like an empty shell, is too much to bear. “So, where’s the brake?” You put out your hand, and Jungwon complies by giving it to you. Observing it, you’re relieved that it hasn’t been damaged too much, and that it’s okay to put it back on the bike. “First, we need to take the callipers off the bike.” You don’t explain what it is this time, since he got agitated when you did it before. “Should I do one side and you do the other?”

He nods, so you crawl over to the other side, and together, the two of you start working on the bike.

After around twenty minutes of silent working, you decide to ask a question that’s been on your mind since the second you saw him cry. “Jungwon?” You ask. He doesn’t respond, but you know that he hears you. “Why don’t you just get your parents to buy you another one?”

It takes him a while to reply, you assume he’s just busy with the clamps. “They can’t. There’s no more on sale.”

You’re aware that it sounds a bit harsh, but you still push. “Can’t they just buy another brand?”

Jungwon’s eyes meet yours through the tiny gaps between the motorcycle parts. “I don’t want another one.”

You sigh at his vague responses. “Okay, what about hiring someone to come and fix your bike? Or getting a friend, literally anyone-”

Abruptly, Jungwon throws the clamp onto the floor, the ring of the metal bouncing around your skull. “I didn’t ask you to come and help, you know? You offered. If you don’t want to, there’s nothing stopping you from leaving.” He spits, his eyes piercing into yours angrily.

You put your hands up in a feign defence. “I’m sorry, I was just asking.” You mutter under your breath, a little shocked at his reaction. “I’m okay with fixing the bike, it just looked like you didn’t wanna ask so I was telling you there are other options.”

Jungwon sighs, before picking up the clamp and getting back to work. “I know.” He mumbles, and you can hear the piston creaking under the pressure of his clamp hold. “I know there are other options, but I don’t trust any of them with this bike. I’ve known your dad for a while and I remember how much he cared about his bike, so I thought I’d just ask him to help.” The thought of Jungwon trusting your dad over his creepy friends makes you feel a lot better, but the sound of the piston about to snap distracts you.

Crawling back over, you return to Jungwon’s side. You don’t even notice that your thighs are touching each other when you reach out to take the clamp from his hands. He looks at you a little alarmed, but you respond with an awkward smile. “You’re putting too much pressure. You have to unstick one piston at a time, if you do it like that it’ll snap.” You explain, opting to do it yourself to save some time.

“How come you know how to fix a break?” He asks randomly, startling you a little bit.

You stay focused while you answer him, your eyes not moving from the clamp. “Sometimes my dad teaches me things like this. He says he does it because he doesn’t have a son.”

“What other things has he taught you?”

Since this is the first real conversation you’ve ever had with Jungwon, you decide not to question why he cares about your relationship with your dad so much. “How to ride a bike, how to play football, how to put up a shelf, how to fix a laptop that’s had water spilled on it.” You giggle at the last one, memories piling into your head. Jungwon doesn’t say anything else so you turn around to see why. He’s just staring at your hands working with the clamp, so you choose to fill in the tense silence. “The time he broke his break, he called me over while I was studying. I told him that it’s not important since a motorcycle break and a bike break are two completely different things and that this would never come in handy.” You face Jungwon again, and his eyes meet yours. “Turns out it did come in handy.”

There’s a moment, a long moment of comfortable silence with the two of you staring at each other. For the first time, you notice the shape of his eyes and how delicately pulled out they are. They’re kind of pretty, in a boyish sort of way. You can’t really believe you’ve been staring at these eyes for the past eight years without ever finding yourself swimming in them until now.

Jungwon scoffs, breaking eye contact before taking a sip of his coffee. “I’m surprised you didn’t turn out heavy handed since you were basically brought up as a boy,” he mutters against the cup.

With that, you unconsciously suck in such a deep breath of air. A wave of relief washes over your body as you let out an incredibly loud laugh at his comment. There he is, the asshole that is Yang Jungwon. You seriously thought you broke him, but hearing him say something so rude wiped away any and all of your doubt.

He’s back. And you couldn’t be more than happy about it.

Walking into school the next day, you’re a little bit anxious. You’re anxious because:

You might bump into Sunghoon and he might start asking scary questions again

You might bump into Jungwon and have to start fighting again

You don’t want either of those scenarios to happen. So when Sunghoon spots you and says goodbye to his friends, you panic and pull onto your friend’s sleeve. “Quick, pretend we’re having a really serious and private conversation.”

She panics and tries to think of something to say. “Uh, I made out with Sunghoon at Ryujin’s party!” With her eyes shut, in front of everyone in the hallway, your friend, Chaeryeong, admitted to sleeping with Sunghoon. You spot him from the corner of your eye, freezing once he heard what Chaeyoung said, and you wait for him to come over and ask why you two are making up shit about him. He doesn’t.

“Are you being serious right now? I said pretend, Chaeryeong.” Your hand slips away from hers as you look at her in pure disbelief.

“I’m sorry, it’s been on my mind a lot recently because he’s been hanging out with you so much. So when you said say something serious, that was the first thing I could think of.” She rushes, clearly panicked by your response.

“Wait,” you take a step closer to whisper, “When was this? Recently?”

She gives you a worried look, before turning around to see Sunghoon and then turning back to you. “Last, uh, Saturday?”

Saturday. Last Saturday. That was only four days ago. Four days ago you were FaceTiming him while he was helping you with your physics homework. Four days ago was when you asked if he could help you finally get over the Jungwon situation, and he told you that he really wanted to help because he couldn’t stand to see you so hurt. Four days ago was when you told Yuna you think you have a crush on him.

Stepping away, you give one last glance at Sunghoon. “I can't believe you,” you mutter, before turning around and storming away. You tell yourself the reason why you didn’t go up to him and scream in his face is because of the attention you would have gained, but it isn’t; you’re too scared to face him because you were already warned about him ages ago. As funny as it sounds, you should have listened to Jungwon.

“What?! Chaeryeong? Our Chaeryeong?” Yuna chokes on her water, surprised.

“Yeah,” you sigh, scribbling away in your notebook. “I’m not really bothered about that, I mean she can sleep with whoever she wants. It’s just, I really thought there was something between me and Sunghoon.”

Yuna kisses her teeth before shaking her head. “Even I thought there was. Why is he always with you if he’s sleeping with other girls?” Her body simultaneously shivers with yours. “That’s just gross.”

“Maybe he just sees me as a friend. You know in those romance books where the hot guy who gets all the girls appreciates the girl who doesn’t wanna have sex with him and likes hanging around with her?”

“Y/N, they always end up falling in love.”

“Oh. Well, that’s not happening, is it?” You slouch in your seat.

Jungwon walks into the room, and you smile at Yuna, happy to know that he’s back on his feet. You wait for him to say the same thing he always does when he walks past you to get to his seat. Anxiously, your foot taps on the ground as you nibble on your bottom lip, your eyes not moving from Jungwon’s.

Yuna taps you and leans in to whisper, “You can see it now, right?” Her eyebrows giggle, a huge smirk on her lips.

You cringe at what she said, refusing to let her silly thoughts get to your head. “Shut up,” you mutter, before turning back to see Jungwon talking to another classmate. You hate to admit it, but your eyes do linger on him a little longer. You can’t help but notice the long, dark strands of hair that almost cover his eyes. His nose and jawline are sharp, contrary to his soft and small lips. Your eyes trail down to his Adam's apple as he speaks, and you watch as it bobs up and down attentively. It’s strange that you’ve known Jungwon for so long, yet you’ve never actually taken the time out of your day to really look at him. Because he’s actually really good looking.

“See?” Yuna giggles, slapping your arm playfully. “You’re staring.”

Your head darts to her direction with wide eyes. “I’m just waiting for him to come over.”

“Nu-uh, you’re finally listening to me. I told you he gets girls.” She motions for you to lean in closer while she whispers. “Last year, I peeked into his locker on Valentine’s Day, and I counted thirteen letters, Y/N. Thir-teen.”

Thirteen girls gave Jungwon a love letter last year? You scoff, resting your chin on your palm as you look at him again. If they knew what you knew, that Jungwon is a total asshole, you bet they’d run far away from him. “I don’t get it. Is it just because of his looks? Are they that shallow?”

Yuna shrugs from beside you. “Well, I’ve heard a lot of good things about him.”

You laugh sarcastically, “Are you gonna talk about the time he helped that one new student when she dropped her books on the floor again?”

“Well, there’s that. But there are other things, too, that I’ve tried to tell you but you just turn down because you hate him so much. Like the time he stopped a boy from getting bullied. It was so cool, Y/N, he just shoved the bully in his shoulders and looked him right in the eyes and told him to fuck off.”

Something twists in your stomach at that word. It reminds you of when Sunghoon asked if

Jungwon is just a bully. You can’t be staring at him now, talking about all the good deeds he’s done and why all the girls in your school have a crush on him. He’s mean. He’s insulted you, belittled you, degraded you. You could go on and on about all the times Jungwon has hurt you and laughed in your face whenever he did. He’s a selfish, spoiled rich kid that derives entertainment from picking on you. And like all your friends warn you not to do, you react, dragging it out longer. Maybe if you just stayed silent in the first place, this would have never continued for so long.

Blinking, you suddenly realise that Jungwon is batting his eyes at you right in front of your face. You gasp, furrowing your eyes and jerking back once you realise how close his face is to yours. Shit, you spaced out and he caught you staring.

“What you staring at, number 23?” He asks, his old grin back on his face.

“Number 23?”

“Class ranks are up on the board.” He explains, and your heart drops to your feet when you realise what he’s saying. “You know,” Jungwon gets up, hands in his pockets as he peers down at you with that familiar evil glint in his eyes. “I thought signing you up for chemistry club would at least get you into the teens. But you only moved up one spot? One?”

Okay, you may have wanted normal Jungwon back, but did his first strike have to be so harsh? Getting up, you realise your legs are trembling. Something inside of you is telling you not to bite back this time, that it’s not worth it. If you truly want this war to end, then you have to be the bigger person and back down. Pursing your lips, you simply walk past him to follow the crowd of students into the hallway to see the class rankings.

“Oh. My. God, Y/N. You should have seen the look on his face!” Yuna laughs, but you can’t join her. It was embarrassing to let him talk down to you like that. You wish you said something, but this needs to end. This is the first step you need to take.

“Let’s just focus on our class rankings for now.” You say, approaching the wall.

Although Jungwon made fun of your rank, you have to hide a smile when you see it. It’s not high at all, but at least you’ve improved. With everything that’s been going on recently, you need something positive to cling onto. You pull out your phone to call your mum about your improvement, excited to hear about how proud she’ll be.

But a voice from behind stops you. You can feel the heat of his body so close to yours, and your heart immediately starts doing backflips. “23rd? That means I’m going to have to spend a lot more time tutoring you, right?” His voice is uplifted, and that pisses you off even more.

Turning around, you furrow your brows and fold your arms. “Really? Are you just going to pretend that–”

Sunghoon, with his hands buried in his pockets and his lips pursed, shrugs. “I asked you what we are, and you just left.”

That is very true. You did, quite rudely, leave. You erased that part of your day from your mind, and even avoided writing it down in your diary. All you needed was time, because the following week was when you and Yuna figured out what your feelings are towards him. Sighing, you answer. “I know.”

“I helped you break–” he pulls on your blazer to drag the two of you away from the crowd as he leans in to whisper, “I helped you break Jungwon's bike. I know you think that that's a normal thing for a guy like me, but it isn't. I don't go around, smashing people's things, you know. I did that for you, and all I got was a little thank you text.”

Everything he's saying is true, and that's frustrating you further.

“You can't be mad about who I sleep with, Y/N. I've been hovering around for so long, and still, the only guy you think of is Jungwon.”

“What are you even hanging around for, though? Jungwon he-he told me that you treat girls like trophies. I thought–” The eye contact Sunghoon holds with you is intense, he doesn't turn away once. You're too scared to break it because you've never seen him this serious before.

“So you believed him over me? Someone that you ‘hate’ over a friend? You didn't even bring that up with me, Y/N!" He whisper-shouts, pressing an arm against the lockers beside him so that he can lower his head to meet yours. “You need to ask yourself what's your deal with Jungwon, because I'm not sure you really know what it is.” Gently, he lets go of your blazer and dusts it down with his hands, causing you to blush intensely.

“You're gonna keep me up all night because of this, now, you know that, right?” You chuckle sarcastically, keeping your eyes on his hand that's lingering above yours.

He chuckles back, “I know.” His hand stops hovering, and goes back to his pocket.

Looking up at him, you smile endearingly. “We can still be friends, right? Even if whatever this is doesn't sort out the way we want it to, you'll still be my friend.”

"Ayyyyy,” Sunghoon laughs, but it seems forced, and presses a finger into your shoulder. “You're just saying that for the free tutoring lessons.”

Dear diary,

I hate Jungwon.

You groan into your arms after you realise what you've just written, disappointed in yourself. It's embarrassing to admit that Sunghoon is right, that Jungwon is constantly on your mind. If it's not the awful things he's said, or the stupid pranks he's played, then it's the way he puckers his lips together when he snorts out a laugh, or the way he wiggles his eyebrows at you to try and piss you off. You've probably never even scratched the surface of Jungwon's mind, yet he somehow lives in yours constantly.

A ping from your phone distracts you from your thoughts.

jung_1: my tire popped

you: and?

jung_1: use your daddy skills to come and fix it

you: if u think u can jus tell me what to do ???? then you're vv wrong :/

jung_1: u came before what's wrong this time?

you: im busy

jung_1: so am i but i can't get anything done without my bike

you: u need to get it checked out professionally

ik u have some weird attachment issues to it but fixing the brakes and tires isn't enough to get that thing up and running again

jung_1: well, miss 23, unlike u i have a brain

fixing everything one at a time v slowly will work eventually

patience is key

so can u jus come already

you: what's in it for me?

jung_1: idk wtf

food?

you: do i look like a dog to u

jung_1: idk??? u name it ill get whatever u want

you: ok fine whatever

After you get dressed to go to Jungwon's house, you scribble one last thing into your diary before you go.

Let's hope that when I come back, I won't be saying that I hate him again.

With a bag of food from your mum to give to Jungwon's parents, you ring his doorbell hesitantly. You will never get over the difference between your house and his despite the fact that you two live just a few houses away from each other. While yours is small and cosy with a garden full of roses and apple trees, Jungwon's stands tall—so modern that it doesn't even have a front garden, it's all just rock hard concrete.

Opening the door you're met with a sour face when Jungwon looks you up and down. “What's that?” He asks, pointing at your carrier bag.

You inwardly sigh, reminding yourself of the trouble he's putting himself through because of you. “Homemade kimbap.” You hand it to him and he takes it cautiously, eyeing the bag like you hid a bomb in it. “Relax, my mum made it.”

Jungwon's head pops right up when you say that, and you swear his lips are trying their best not to pull up into a smile. Clearing his throat, however, he returns to his normal bitter expression and brushes his hair out of his gaze. “Whatever, come inside while I get dressed.”

It's only when Jungwon mentions it that you look down and notice that he’s only wearing a pair of underwear. Making a mental note to never visit a teenage boy's house unannounced again, you awkwardly hop inside and sit on the kitchen counter that he directs you to wait at.

While Jungwon is away, you're left with the housemaid. You've always guessed that they had one, yet you've never seen her leave the house before. Anyone could mistake this for slavery, how scary.

“Are you Jungwon's friend?” She asks, opening the bag of kimbap that you brought. You nod, deciding it's best not to explain your confusing and infuriating situation to Jungwon's housemaid, and she smiles endearingly, taking out the food. “I'm surprised. He's only ever brought those two hooligans over.”

“Jeongseong and Heeseung?” You ask, chuckling.

She laughs with you at the mention of Jungwon's awful friends who you are secretly afraid of. “They're like Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum, them two. It's nice to see that some of his friends are sane.” As soon as she unwraps and sees the food, however, the housemaid gasps, a repelled look on her face.

“Is everything okay?” You ask, worried.

“Jungwon can't eat this, it isn't fresh.”

You open your mouth to explain that it had only just been cooked a few hours ago, but choose not to. This is Jungwon's rich and snobby lifestyle, there's no point arguing with someone who knows him a lot better than you do.

“What a waste,” she sighs, “I'll just have to throw it away.” You really want to yell at the woman for disrespecting your mother's food, but the thought of Jungwon's parents catching you screaming at their trusted maid through a secret camera and suing you scares you too much to do so.

But just before she's able to throw it away, Jungwon appears in a zipped up coat and joggers, an arm in front of the bin. “No, no, no, no, Mrs Kim, it's okay.” He says softly, a hand resting on her back as he smiles at her.

Smiles. Like, really smiles. He's acting so gentle around her it's scaring you. Lightly, he takes the dish from her hands and settles it on the middle counter opposite you. He doesn't look up, he just opens the tinfoil and lets his jaw drop slightly at the kimbap your mum forced you to roll for him. You'll never let him know that, though.

“Jungwon, it isn't fresh, you'll get sick.” Mrs Kim retorts, but he's already digging one out. You and Mrs Kim both silently watch Jungwon eat his food contently, and you hate to say it but he eats in such a cute way. His cheeks puff out and he takes such small nibbles of the food, like he's savouring it all.

“Your mum made this?” He asks, his eyes wide.

A little thrown off by him, you play with the strings of your jacket. “Uh, yeah. She just told me to bring this when I said I was coming over.” You answer awkwardly. He isn’t throwing any insults at you, and that’s something you still haven’t gotten used to.

He raises his brows while nodding, continuing to eat his food, leaving you and Mrs Kim standing beside each other in an odd silence. That is, until she leans in to whisper something to you. “He’s never eaten my kimbap so happily before, I wonder what your mum put in this one.” There’s a scowl on her face as bitterness lingers around her words.

You chuckle breathlessly, not really sure why Jungwon’s devouring your mum’s kimbap either. “It’s nothing special.”

Jungwon eyes the two of you before mumbling, “Stop staring.” and grabbing the rest of the food and making his way towards the door. You hesitantly scuttle behind him after giving Mrs Kim an undeserved bow. What a rude woman.

“How’d you pop it?” You ask, staring at the tire in horror as you realise the inner tube is punctured and this is going to be a very long job.

He chuckles, rubbing his hand at the nape of his neck, “Uh, I left my glass out and when I was pushing the bike it kinda just rolled over it.”

Sighing, you give him a defeated expression, “Seriously? You just added to the list of things that I’ve already broken.”

“What?”

You have to stop your breath for a second in order to hide the look of down right fear on your face as you almost slipped the crime you committed. “List of things that need fixing, I mean.” You shake your head and tut, trying to act out feign annoyance. Slowly, you peer over to Jungwon to see if he’s caught on, and he’s just staring blankly. Clearing your throat, you decide changing the topic is your best option right now. “Uhm, do you have a puncture kit?”

Jungwon, after a very long staredown, eventually replies and hands over the kit to you. You have to thank the skies for not throwing you under the bus because that was way too close. Even your hands are shaking a little as you open the kit and get on your knees, the nerves making you very tense. You don’t even have the courage to start up a conversation, and so the two of you work in silence like you did the last time.

After about an hour in, Jungwon speaks up. “My parents bought this for me.”

Ignoring the way you jumped at the way his voice suddenly appeared out of nowhere, you scoff. “Well, it’s not like you’ve had to work a day in your life to earn enough money to buy this.”

The dark haired boy huffs, clearly vexed. “No, I mean, they actually bought it. Like it wasn’t just a written cheque, or money into my bank account, or bought online. They flew to Thailand with me to buy it.” He explains, and when you turn to him, his eyes are boring into yours.

“Okay, and?” You chuckle again, not really paying much mind to his words and focusing on your work instead. It’s just a bike, what is he trying to say that’s so important?

Abruptly, he brings his hand to his laps and flashes you an offended look. Worried that you’ve pressed the wrong buttons, you stop too, quietly letting him continue. “You asked why I only wanted your dad’s help. I’m answering you, okay?”

“Okay, I get it.”

“It’s- they don’t do that, they don’t go out with me for..me.” You still don’t have a clue what he’s talking about, but you nod anyway. “This bike, it’s the only reminder I have at this point that my parents love- not love, but, ugh, you know what I mean.” He rambles, playing with the strings of his tracksuit bottoms nervously.

Trying your very best to put the pieces together, you tilt your head and ask, “You don’t think your parents love you?”

“I mean, yeah,” he panics, “I’m sure they do, but they’re not like your parents, for example.”

“My parents?” Well, now you’re really lost.

Jungwon sighs, averting his gaze from you to the bike. “You know, like my dad never taught me the things yours did. My parents never dropped me off to school like yours did. My mum doesn’t even know how to cook..” He mumbles, his voice slowly drifting off with each sentence.

“Jungwon,” you furrow your brows, “Have you been..comparing your parents to mine all these years?” Now that you think about it, there have been many times where you would be talking to your parents, and from the corner of your eye you’d stop Jungwon staring. You’ve always brushed it off, not wanting to think about the boy any more than you needed to, but now you’re thinking that maybe you should have. It’s common knowledge that money doesn’t buy you happiness, and you and Yuna have always blamed Jungwon’s lavish lifestyle for his bitchiness. But loneliness? That’s something you’ve never associated with him.

Jungwon lets out a groan, before picking up a screwdriver again. “No.” He mutters under his breath, before turning his back to you completely.

Not wanting to prod at the situation any further, you hesitantly get back to work, too.

It’s been three hours since the two of you started working on the bike. Out of fear that Jungwon had caught on to what you said about you being the culprit, you tried helping him fix the other parts of the motorcycle, too. (Albeit your lack of knowledge of how to do so.) The alleyway has been silent for hours, the only noises were your uncomfortable giggles, shaky breaths and your nails tapping against anything they could find. Jungwon didn’t ask about your slip up, so you are hoping to God that he has no doubt about you because that would just be a one way ticket to jail.

You don’t even realise that it’s 8pm, dark, and absolutely freezing until you find yourself shivering and brushing up your hands against your bare arms. Jungwon probably hears your chattering teeth as he looks over and juts his chin out at you. “You cold?” He asks, expressionless.

You nod immediately, standing up to stretch your legs and shake them to circulate some warmth around you. The only light the two of you have is the spotlight above you and it’s wearing out a little, making it difficult to see. “Just a little.”

Jungwon eyes your outfit, “You should have brought a coat,” he mutters, before doing the absolute unexpected.

Slack-jawed, you watch Jungwon unzip his puffer coat and hand it to you like it was normal for him to do so. With furrowed brows, you stand still, trying to find the catch behind his actions. “What?” He grumbles. “You’d rather freeze?”

Crossing your arms, you laugh at him. Seeing your breath fog up in the air, you start to reconsider declining his offer. “The last time you offered me a coat, Jungwon, it was from a dumpster. Everyone laughed at me because I had no idea and I wore it the entire PE session.” You explained, hoping he’d catch on to your lack of trust in him.

“Well, this isn’t from a dumpster, so just take it.” His arm is still extended, but you can’t bring yourself to take it from him.

“Just because I’ve come over to help you a few times,” you glare at him, “it doesn’t mean we’re friends now. This isn’t enough for me to forget everything you’ve done to me, Jungwon.” Saying this out loud to him for the first time feels weird. Neither of you have ever confronted each other about your situation. It’s always been avoided.

Jungwon pulls his arm back towards him, before taking a few steps towards you. “I never said we’re friends, just take the fucking coat.” He curses aggressively, making you flinch a little.

But the two of you are fully aware that you won’t back down from anything without a fight. “I don’t want your coat, Jungwon. It’s bad enough that I’m here, fixing something that you have enough money to do yourself. I don’t need your stupid pity either.”

Chuckling in disbelief, Jungwon rolls his eyes and shoves the coat into your arms. “Again, all I asked was for you to fix the tire. You chose to stay longer. I told you last time that you’re more than welcome to leave if you don’t wanna be here!” He yells at you.

Jungwon has never shouted at you before. It’s always been snarky comments and childish insults. This is new, and you’re not really sure how to react to it.

“Fine! I will leave! I can’t believe I fucking rolled that kimbap for you myself because I was scared you hadn’t eaten anything.” You shout back, throwing his coat on the floor before storming to his gate. “You’re never going to change, are you?” You mumble, while trying to open his gate.

Suddenly, you feel Jungwon’s hand belligerently pull your shoulder back so you can face him as his fingers tightly grip around your upper arm. His face is merely inches away from yours, eyes piercing right through you like a new found anger has lit inside of him. “I’ve not changed? I literally just offered you my coat.”

“Oh, wow, you’re such a saint, Jungwon.” You seethe, despite the fear running through your blood at the intensity of his glare. “What about me? Huh? I helped you fix half of your bike, I put up with the shitty chemistry club stunt you pulled on me, I helped make your food-”

“And I am trying my best to return the favour!” He snaps again, letting go of your arm.

It’s not until then that you notice a delivery driver parked right outside of Jungwon’s house. Looking over at him, you notice the bags of food in his hands as he awkwardly smiles at the two of you. Your gaze shifts between Jungwon and the driver a few times. “You ordered this?” You ask, pointing at the man who's given up smiling and is now impatiently waiting for you both to collect your food. “For us?”

“I don't like burgers.” He spits, picking up his coat off the ground to pull out his wallet.

While Jungwon is apologising and paying the delivery driver, you stare at your feet in regret. That was way too stubborn of you. Jungwon really was just trying to be helpful by giving you his coat, but you were too prideful to take it. You thought you were better than this, you thought you were better than him. Maybe this issue has always been a two-sided conflict and you've just been too angry to see otherwise.

“Here,” he hands you the bag, and this time you take it reluctantly.

Pulling out the box to open it, you're met with a fresh little burger meal. It's not much. Hell, it's nothing at all since you're sure Jungwon can afford way more than this cheap rubbish. But it still warps a guilt around your body so twisted you feel too sick to eat the meal.

A gasp falls from your lips as soon as it hits you; as soon as the realisation of why the bike Jungwon adores so much hits you. He’s connected to it emotionally. It’s the only form of love he’s ever gotten. And you broke it. You can’t believe you broke something so precious to someone. The silence is thick. You can't bring yourself to look at him. There's only one thing running through your mind right now.

He deserves to know what you did.

Your chest feels heavy as Jungwon goes back to sitting on the ground and working on his bike. Agitation punches at your heart while its beats echoes around your head.

He needs to know what you did.

Biting your nails, you turn around to face him. He's been working so hard for days, and it's all because of you. You went too far, and he's paying the consequences—when it should be you. Clearing your throat, you waste no time telling him.

“I did it.”

Jungwon's hands stop moving, but his gaze remains on the motorcycle.

“I broke your..I broke your motorbike.” You say hurriedly before nibbling on your bottom lip. He still doesn't move. “It wasn't just me, but I did pretty much most of it.”

You wait for him to lash out and scream at you, to call the police and have you locked away for life. You wait for him to cry, or yell, or insult you. Anything. But instead he does nothing.

He just quietly says. “Get out.”

“Jungwon, I'm so sorry, I wanted to tell–”

“I said get out.” His voice is low and empty.

“I–”

He cuts you off by darting his head towards your direction and glowering at you. So you decide to leave.

Dear diary,

I messed up. Big time.

With not enough energy in your system to write anymore in your diary due to the hours of homework you’ve just spent, you pull out your phone instead. Opening Instagram, you decide to aimlessly scroll through your friends’ stories.

First up is Ryujin—dolled up and singing into the camera with a few other girls you mildly recognise. There must be a party, you think. Swiping, you see a picture of Yeji and her boyfriend with red paper cups in their hands, smiling really cheesily. You chuckle at the photo, swiping up and replying to her story with “couple goals fr”. The next video on Yeji’s story, however, forces you to sit up in your chair.

While it seems like a normal video of a normal high school party with Yeji and Jisu dancing away and screaming to the music, your eyes can’t help but wander to the person dancing by themself in the background.

Yang Jungwon. And he’s alone.

This throws you off completely, because from the few parties you’ve visited and from what you’ve seen on people’s stories, Jungwon’s always been one of the lives of the party. He’s always in his huge group of school friends, dancing in the middle of the room, screaming into the microphones, spraying people with water guns. Jungwon was in fact one of the reasons you don’t go to parties often, because you can’t escape his loud personality. So seeing him in the corner, alone, with a bland expression on his face, you feel your heart sink.

And for some reason, you find yourself throwing on an outfit, fixing your hair, putting on some makeup and rushing out the doors.

“Hey!” Yeji approaches you, squeezing your side. “Why didn’t you tell me you were coming, we would have got my man to pick you up!” She screams over the music, looking at you excitedly.

Before you can answer her, Yeji’s dragging you further into the house. “It’s been so long since you’ve come to a party, Y/N!” She cheers, putting down her drink to hold onto your other hand and start dancing with you. Smiling awkwardly, you dance along a little, but your eyes keep batting around the room, searching for that one familiar face. Yeji leans forward to yell into your ear, “Is something wrong?!”

You wince at the volume of her voice, flinching away in fear that she’ll damage your eardrum if she shouts any louder. “I’m fine! Have you seen-?!”

“Sunghoon?!” Yeji asks, both of your bodies still swaying along to the music. “Chaeryoung told us you broke it off with him! That’s why she’s over there with him now!” She points over to the kitchen where the two of them are. You watch as Chaeryoung giggles at whatever Sunghoon is saying, leaning into his taller frame and shyly touching his forearm.

Well, that was quick of him to move on.

Yeji holds onto both of your arms before looking into your eyes endearingly, “Do you still like him?! You know, we really need to talk about stuff like this more!” She explains as you squint your eyes, the LED flashing lights and blaring music making it difficult to focus on what she’s saying. “I miss our girly talks where we’d all talk about boys, and-!”

“Y/N!” Yuna appears from your left, immediately hugging you as she does. “You should have told me you were coming, we could have got Yeji’s boyfriend to pick you up!”

You and Yeji giggle at Yuna repeating the same phrase—realising that your whole friend group practically rely on Yeji’s boyfriend for travel. “It’s fine, I just came here for-!”

“Sunghoon?!” She asks, giving you an empathetic look. “He’s with Chaeryoung!”

Now why does everyone assume you’re here for Sunghoon?

“No, I’m here for Jungwon!”

“What?!” Both your friends yell in unison, animating their confusion with their furrowed brows and cringed noses.

“Jungwon!”

Yuna eyes Yeji a little worriedly before she bends down to speak in your ear. “You’re not going to confess, are you?” Unfortunately, you haven’t given your best friend the news of what happened between you and your so-called-enemy, so you chuckle awkwardly when she asks. “Because my parents will kill me if they find out, Y/N.”

You shake your head and offer her a fake smile, “No, don’t worry, I just need to speak to him.”

Reluctantly, she lets you go and you search the house for Jungwon. But instead, you’re met with another distraction. Perfect.

You don’t even need to turn around to know that a certain black-haired tall boy is standing behind you as you recognise the feeling of his chest almost pressed against your back. Sighing aggravatingly, you turn around to meet him. “Hey.”

Sunghoon takes a few seconds to respond, his eyes roaming your face and outfit longingly. “It’s been awhile!” He shouts, giggling at the awkwardness of having to speak over the music before stuffing his hands in his jean pockets. “You look really nice!”

“What?!”

“I said, you look really nice!” He repeats, this time a beautiful smile washing over his strong features. He grins at you, smiling so wide you get a perfect view of his teeth and tiny eyes.

“Thank you! So do you!” You laugh, but your smile turns sour once you remember your last conversation with him and the reason why you’re here.

Swiftly, Sunghoon pulls you by your waist, taking you by surprise. Keeping your attention on him distracted you from the shift in music from EDM to a much slower song, so when Sunghoon tugs you to dance with him, you’re panicking. His fingers hold you softly, barely touching you at all, and when you look up into his eyes, they’re already staring back down at you. He’s perfect; practically everything anyone wants in a partner. So why is Jungwon still the only person on your mind right now?

The room is a lot quieter now, so the two of you don’t need to scream in each other’s faces anymore. Thank God for that.

“Who did you dress up for, pretty?” Your cheeks can’t help but flare up at the pet name, and you have to purse your lips from smiling like a child. “It definitely wasn’t for me, was it?” There’s a sad smile to his lips, causing you to break the heavy eye contact.

“I just didn’t want to stick out, that’s all. It’d be weird if I came in normal clothes.” Mumbling, you notice the way Sunghoon lets go of your waist with one hand, only to interlock it with yours.

“So if you didn’t come here to party, why’d you come?” He asks, and all of a sudden the spinning is starting to make you a little dizzy.

You gaze up at him with round eyes, knowing full well that he’s aware of why you came here. You hate the fact that he’s forcing you to say it out loud—to come to terms with your emotions that you absolutely despise right now. Your life could be so much easier if you really did have feelings for Sunghoon (despite the fact that Chaeryoung likes him too, maybe that would have been a bit messy) because showing up to a loud, rowdy place like this for a boy who absolutely hates your guts is just too complicated for your heart to handle.

Liking Sunghoon would have been easier, and even though you’re dancing in his arms right now, you’re still choosing Jungwon.

“I need to tell him.”

“About the motorbike or about your feelings?”

You gulp, nervously tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. “I already told him about the bike. So now I need to apologise.”

“He’s hurt you, Y/N, really bad. I don’t get why you picked him.” His face is stern, making you tug your bottom lip between your teeth.

Slowly, you let go of Sunghoon’s hand, and take his other off your waist. Looking up at him, you offer him a heartfelt smile before resting your hands on his chest. You take in a deep breath before looking up at him directly and say, “Neither do I.”

And like the two of you are some characters ripped out of the pages of a novel, you break away from each other, time slowing down as you walk away from him. Seeing Chaeryoung latch onto him while you walk backwards puts you at ease a little, you hope he sees the charm in your friend, you really do.

You’ve been searching for Jungwon for around ten minutes now, and you figure he’s left since you can’t go too far in a house, can you? You end up proving yourself wrong, however, when you walk into the upstairs balcony and spot him staring into the view.

Quietly, you lean against the balcony beside him, keeping your eyes on him in case he makes an indication that he wants you to leave.

With his gaze locked onto the city, not even sparing you a glance, Jungwon sighs deeply. “What are you doing here?”

“I just needed some fresh air,” You lie, unable to muster up the courage to explain the real reason.

“Okay, well, I think you’ve breathed in enough and you can leave now.” He mutters through jarred teeth. He looks just as angry as the day you told him about the motorbike, the steam still whistling at the top of his head. His jaw is shut tight, making his jawline look sharp enough to stab you with, and his eyes are doing their own damage to the sky with how narrow he’s piercing them.

Turning to face him, you instinctively reach out your hand to hold his arm, “Jungwon, I’m sor-”

Of course he recoils his arm away and of course he gives you a disgusted look. It’s only natural—you kind of deserve this. “What the hell do you think you’re doing?”

His tone flicks a switch inside of you unknowingly as you retort, “I was just apologising?”

“No, you don’t get to apologise,” He points at you with one hand, his other leaning against the balcony frame. His brows are lowered and his tongue is occasionally poking the inside of his cheek. “You broke my..you broke my bike.” His voice breaks, and you notice the way his bottom lip quivers. “My bike. Do you know…do you know how many memories me and my parents made in Thailand? My dad taught me how to ride it, and my mum sat at the back of it while I drove on the beach and..” He sniffles, bringing up his hand to wipe at his eyes before turning away from you. “And then out of all people you ended up helping me fix it. You’re messed up, that’s-that’s not normal.” He mutters, in between quick and raspy breaths.

Watching the scene unfold in front of you, your eyes begin to tear up, too. You made Jungwon cry again. That’s twice. That’s one more than he’s done. Just when you thought you brought the old Jungwon back you broke him again. Seeing his shoulders shudder as he cries quietly into his hands has you clutching onto your chest tightly in hopes you don’t break, too.

“I’m sorry..” You whisper.

“You don’t get to say that!” He repeats, shouting into his hands.

“But, I mean it,” you say a little louder, wiping away the tears that managed to slip out to keep your voice as still as possible.

Hastily, Jungwon turns back around, “No, you don’t get to say that because..” The dark haired boy brings down his hands to reveal his face. You’ve never seen him like this; eyes soaked and his nose red and swollen. “Because it should be me. And that’s why I’m so mad.”

“It should be you? Apologising?” You ask, unconsciously inching towards him, unaware of how close your bodies are.

His eyes wander around your face for a little while before he sucks in a deep breath, “Yeah, whatever.” Sniffling, he turns his head back to the view of the city. “Obviously, you only did that because of me.”

“No, Jungwon, that was something personal to you. I-I went too far.”

Taking you by surprise, he groans into his hand loudly before looking back at you again. “You didn’t know that it was personal!” He yells, forcing you to jerk your head back a little with wide eyes. “You didn’t know that because we don’t know each other! We don’t-!” His chest heaves laboriously as his brown eyes bore deep into yours. “We’ve known each other for so long, longer than Heeseung or Jongseong or..Sunghoon.” He mumbles the last part, his lips forming into a pout.

“Yet we don’t know anything about each other?” You finish off his sentence, making sure to keep eye contact this time, because now is the time to let it all out. Now is the time for the two of you to confront the stupid situation you’ve trapped yourselves in for years. “I know,” You whisper, before pursing your lips, trying not to spill out every thought running through your mind right now.

You spot the way the shape of Jungwon’s eyes change from slitting to more rounded. They’re large and round at the front but pull out at the sides, similar to those of a cat. For some reason, his eyes are comforting.

“Yeah..” He lets out a shaky breath. “All I know is that you’re this girl that lives across the street that has the most perfect life.”

You scoff, “Well, if you call bad grades and single-”

“You have parents that hug you every morning when you leave the house for school. You have friends that will stick by you even when you ask them to do something as stupid as break your neighbour’s bike.” You both chuckle at that bit. “You’re just.. I’ve always wanted to have that. Sometimes I think of what it would be like if I switched places with you.”

Naturally, you respond with, “Well, if you had to deal with a certain someone that makes you hate leaving your house everyday, I don’t think you’d want to be me.” You laugh at your joke, before noticing the way Jungwon’s face drops. Shit—he’s the certain someone. “Wait, I didn’t mean it like-”

“No you did. That’s why you broke my bike.” He says firmly, and the urge to look away pushes through and you turn your head away from him.

You should know by now to always expect the unexpected when it comes from Jungwon. Because the next thing you hear is a muffled snort followed by a soft laughter. Looking back at him, you’re perplexed. Was this a joke? Was this all just another prank? Does he really have no feelings? Are the police waiting at the bottom of the house to lock you away for years?

Jungwon breaks into an even louder laughter when he sees your expression, resting his elbows on the balcony rail and burying his head into his hands to try and quieten himself down. “I’m sorry,” he giggles, shaking his head, “It’s just.. I was such an asshole to you. My bike getting broken was just karma if you think about it.”

“Are you saying you deserve it?” You ask doubtfully, scared you’re dipping into hot water.

“It feels like it. I couldn’t stop thinking about how shocked you were when I was being nice for once. Like, I was really that bad, huh?”

You join in on his laughter, “We shouldn’t be laughing about this.” You say, before taking another look at Jungwon and bursting into another fit of giggles with him at the same time.

This is weird. Your arms are bumping against each other, you’re laughing so much your cheeks and throat are sore, and you can’t stop gazing into Jungwon’s eyes as you both smile with each other. You know. You’ve known since Sunghoon told you that you think about Jungwon way more than you should. You’ve known since the first time your legs touched each other accidentally that day you were fixing his bike. You’ve known since the time you watched him happily munch away on your mum’s kimbap.

You know exactly why your heart is racing right now. Racing for the idiot you’ve been hating since you were eleven years old. Racing for your so-called-enemy of six years. Racing for the guy that just laughed about how badly he’s treated you. You’re so dumb, catching feelings for someone like Jungwon. Your cheeks should not be burning right now. He’s just Jungwon, you try to remind yourself.

Buried deep in your thoughts, you didn’t even realise the two of you have stopped laughing. It’s only now that you notice Jungwon’s eyes flickering between yours and your lips, and that he’s steadily leaning towards you. If your heart was racing before, it’s sprinting down a freaking marathon now. You stay still, waiting to see (or feel) whatever happens next. You’re too scared to initiate anything in case you freak the boy out and he backs away. Because what reason would he have to lean in right now? What reason would he have to like you back?

What reason would Yang Jungwon have to kiss you?

All of your questions fly out of the window as soon as his lips latch onto yours softly. Letting out a little gasp, although you were already expecting this, your hand flies to the balcony rail immediately. This is your first kiss. You always expected it to be more romantic; on a date with a guy in the park, or under a sakura tree at school. You never thought you’d kiss someone a few minutes after watching them cry their eyes out.

His lips are soft, though, so you close your eyes to feel them more. A hand reaches the back of your head as he tilts his head, a shaky breath blowing into yours. You can’t help but smile into the kiss, giggling at how inexperienced you both are. You both pull away, and you’re a little disappointed at the lack of..well..kissing there was. You’re pretty sure your lips are actually supposed to move in a kiss. So, pulling on every string of courage you have, you place your hands on either side of his shoulders and pull Jungwon in for a second round. This time, you tilt your head and open your lips a little, your stomach filling with butterflies when Jungwon lets out a sigh of relief against you. His movements are gentle, and the tenderness of his small lips opening and closing within yours causes your head to spin a little. He’s a little too good at this, his thumbs rubbing circles on either side of your waist making you feel all mushy inside.

You hate him. You hate how good he is at kissing even though it’s his first time.

Pulling away, you can’t help but cover your face. Jungwon giggles at you quietly, making your body heat up even more. You feel his hands clasp around your wrists as he pulls them away from your face, shoving his right in yours. You’ve never seen this expression on his face before. His cheeks are bright red and puffed out, his lips are a little puffy and his eyes are rounder than you’ve ever seen them before. A genuine, really pretty smile sits on his lips as he speaks up again.

“We cannot tell anyone about this.”

“Agreed.”

A/N | and that's a wrap! i'm ngl i dont really understand the hype for this fic i wish i did things a lot differently ahahah,, but u guys really enjoyed it and that's all that matters!

#jungwon x y/n #jungwon x reader #jungwon x you #jungwon x female reader #jungwon fanfic #jungwon fluff #jungwon angst #jungwon drabbles #jungwon scenarios #jungwon imagines #enhypen x reader #enhypen x you #enhypen x female reader #enhypen angst #enhypen fluff #enhypen fic #yang jungwon x reader

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wonchaconne · 8 months

Text

His First Time

[Uni ff] 18+ minors dni!! SMUT.

quiet shy experienced reader X popular inexperienced Jungwon

Sub!jungwon

Jungwon is really popular in uni, he’s always got crowds almost everywhere he goes. There’s lots of rumours of how good Jungwon is in bed but he had only really only ever made out. You’re the opposite of Jungwon, you’ve always been the shy quiet one, you have a small friend group. You and Jungwon became friends when he join. Your small friend group. He have always find you very cute, especially when you’re shy. but you both switch when you’re in bed

You heard a knock as you were sitting in bed waiting, when you open the door it was not who you thought it was.

It was jungwon, you have been helping him with his classes a lot but he was not who you were expecting to come tonight. Your cheeks grew red when you realised you’re wearing your silk nightgown.

Jungwon’s surprised to see you dressed like that when he have only seen you wearing soft clothing style.

“Jungwon? I didn’t know you were coming”

“sorry it’s late but can you… help check my assignment, it’s due tomorrow” you were expecting him to have many questions, you’re glad that was all he said. You quickly put of a robe over you and start preparing your desk. You thought it’s just a read through, it shouldn’t take that long.

Jungwon sat on the bed watching you prepare the study desk.

Leaning on your bed his eyes focus to your breasts see your hard nipple in the cold room, he shifted around the bed a bit. Forming a bludge on his pants, he change his sitting positing to try to sit comfortably, not know how to deal with it and just trying to hide it from you.

You called him over to the desk, as you were telling about how to make his paragraph better you noticed his eyes couldn’t stop staring at you. He’s so hard it aches, finding it hard to focus on what you’re saying.

“Jungwon are you listening or not? you’re staring into space”

“maybe we can do this another day” you looked at him confused.

“Didn’t you say it’s due tomorrow?”

“I don’t need your help anymore, I’ll just do it myself” you rested your hands on his thighs,

“Wonie I don’t want you to fail this class, you barely passed last time”

He shifted uncomfortably from the sudden touch on his thigh. Your eyes drawn to the bulge in his cock tenting his sweatpants. You tried to hide your smile. He blush, embarrassed at what’s happening.

“Are you sure you don’t want me to help?”

You say as you press your hands on his painfully large bludge. He let out a small moan before he stop himself, covering his mouth feeling embarrassed.

He have never been in this situation before but he felt comfortable enough around you to admit that. He stopped your hand, “I’ve never…. done anything like this”

“What do you mean?” You’ve never seen Jungwon shy before.

“I’ve never had sex before”

You were taken back, the popular jungwon, the jungwon you constantly hear rumours of how good he is in bed… is a virgin?

You thought for a moment,

“Do you want me to teach you?” Jungwon nod softly.

he leans to you kissing you, “please teach me” he said when you both pull apart.

You weren’t expecting tonight to go this way but he seems so desperate.

“Are you sure?” You ask him one more time “yes please”

You give him one more kiss before you pull him up from the chair and push him on you bed. You take your robe off and start going on your knees in front of him. He couldn’t believe what was happening, he have know you as a shy quiet person, it made him think how much he doesn’t know you at all. To know how to do any of this means you’ve already done it, but with who?

Your mouth waters as you stroke his inner thigh. He watch the way you’re touching him, his hand rests on the bed sheets. You untie the strings of his sweatpants. You pull it down to reveal his cock, it was flush red, hard and aching, so needy for you. you slowly lean forward and give small kisses to the tip of his cock, jungwon let out a hiss. You lick his precum swallowing the milky liquid in your tongue with a content sigh.

“You taste so good won” you murmured, his cheeks crimson red with the compliment.

Jungwon’s cock twitch under your gaze, you almost let out a small moan. You lean forward pressing many kisses before you run your tongue up the underside of it. His cock hot and heavy on your tongue as you trace over him. Jungwon letting out loud moans, “ah fuck that feels so good”

Jungwon’s eyes widen, his mouth opened, when you put his cock around your lips, entering your hot mouth. You start bobbing you up and down in a short pace. Jungwon groans, his cock twitching between your lips as you suck him. You looked at him, jungwon almost comming right then and there. You slipped him from your mouth to catch a breath before giving kisses around the tips of his cock. “You’re doing so good wonie”

You hummed as you run your lips around his cock. You smile hearing his whiny moans. You lick your lips keeping your eyes on him, you dipped back down wrapping his cock around your lips again. You began to slide down deeper, jungwon let’s out the a loud moan, his had grips the bed sheets. Jungwon bucks his hips upwards, his groan getting louder and heavier, he’s close to cumming. “fuck ah you feel so fucking good”

You start to think of how good his cock feels right now, your cunt throb at the thought of his cock between your thighs after all this. You begin to moan around him, his hand flew down to your head as he push you down. “I’m going to cum”

Jungwon gasped and let out a long moan also moaning out your name. He tossed his head back as he came in your mouth, you take everything he gave you. Jungwon watch you in amuse as you shut your eyes relished his taste, he slowly slide his cock out of your mouth seeing his cum dribble in the corners of your lips. You gather it with your thumb and slipped it in your mouth.

He leans down giving you a long kiss. “Oh god that was perfect” jungwon said panting.

You climb on his lap, running your hands through his hair “You did so well for me won” you give him small kisses trailing down to his collar bones, he let out a moan. He help you take your dress off, tossing it across the room. He lean over you your breasts giving soft kisses going up to your neck. You moan as he finds your sweet spot licking and sucking on it leaving a mark. You let his had explore every inch of your body. You pull his shirt off, revealing his abs. You can feel his breathing increase, you’re so wet at the sight. You ran your hands up his abs.

“Do you want to taste me?” He nods

“Yes, I want to taste you” you switch position, he��s now on top of you, god he’s so fucking attractive right now. He kiss your stomach before making his way down to you cunt. You let out a moan as his tongue was on you, lapping at your folds and drinking your juice.

“fuck, you sure you haven’t done this? You’re so good” you moan, you lay your hands on his head, his tongue is everywhere, circling your clit, tracing your folds, dipping into your hole. Your thighs trembled around his head, he’s so fucking good at this. His cock grew hard again hearing your moans and compliments. You toss your legs over his broad shoulders. He slip his fingers inside of you. You’re starting to get close to your climax “I’m coming” you let out a long moan before you came. He lift his head up “how did I do?” He ask as he lick his lips.

“You’re so fucking good won” both of your lips connect, he kiss you passionately.

You sat up on him again grinding your cunt on his hard cock. “Are you sure you want this?” he let out a whimper,

“yes please I want you to fuck me” you stop to reach over to your nightstand and get a condom, he look over at your drawer seeing the amount of condoms you have. He began to have questions, how many times do you have sex? With who?

You rip you the metal foil and roll it on his cock. You grab his cock, guiding it to your cunt. He slowly push into you, you both let out loud moans. He start to thrust in and out of you. With every thrust jungwon moans, you realise how vocal he is during sex.

Jungwon’s brows furrowed, his lips parted open as he fuck you. this being Jungwon’s first time is insane because of how good he is already at it. Your head lean close to Jungwon’s head, his wet hair sticking to your forehead, your hand resting on his broad shoulders. His hand found its way to your breast, softly squeezing it. He could feel you getting tight around his cock, he moan out your name “ah I’m coming” he said

“Me too” you tried to say before you gasp, Jungwon starts fucking you harder. After a few more thrusts you both came.

You laid next to jungwon on the bed. “How was it” you ask still panting.

“It was fucking perfect” you lean to give him a kiss in his forehead.

————————

You watch Jungwon asleep on the bed when you hear your phone ring.

“I’m sorry, something came up, yeah next week sounds great” Jungwon woke up to your voice talking to the phone.

“Who’s that?” He asked rubbing his eyes, sitting up on the bed.

“It was no one, anyways we didn’t get to finishing fixing your work” you gave him a soft smile, getting the desk ready. Jungwon wondered if that’s who you were waiting for last night. The thought of you fucking another guy just gets under his skin. From now on only he can fuck you. All those condoms will only be for him, he wants to make sure of it.

“Will you be my girlfriend”

————a/n—————

Jungwon becomes dom after that :)

Hii!! This is my first time writing smut…

I’ve never written anything like this, comment any mistakes!!<3

Also I’ve never done dirty talk so I didn’t include it here but in the future I will!!

#jungwon smut #enhypen smut #jungwon #enhypen #enhypen hard hours #jungwon hard hours #sub!enhypen #sub!jungwon #kpop #jungwon fluff #kpop smau #kpop smut #ff #yang jungwon #jungwon ff #jungwon x y/n #jungwon x reader #jungwon x you #jungwon x female reader

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jungkit · 1 month

Text

DDR — YANG JUNGWON

START: Being one of the top dancers on your college’s dance team should be one of your biggest accomplishments, right? WRONG. Unfortunately for you, there’s one person standing in your way of being #1. Yang Jungwon, your rival. You vowed to beat him no matter what, but what happens when your teacher pairs for you up for a couples dance? You? And Jungwon? Dancing together? No way.

👾 dance-rival!jungwon x fem!reader (featuring enhypen, hanni and danielle from nwjns, aespa)

👾 fluff, crack, no angst, college au, nonidol au, e2l, smau

👾 cursing, kys/kms jokes, friendly bullying

👾 taglist: CLOSED

PLAYERS

1 | 2

LEVEL 1– happy place

LEVEL 2– no fucking way

LEVEL 3– day 1 (0.4k)

LEVEL 4– in motion

LEVEL 5– phase 1 (0.3k)

LEVEL 6– fight back BITCH

LEVEL 7- phase 1 (jungwon’s ver) (0.7k)

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wonifullove · 15 days

Text

the boy i loved before; yjw

synopsis: you discover the gifts your ex once gifted you on every date pairing: ex bf! jungwon x ex gf! reader genre: ex’s to potential lovers warnings: ex relationship, mentions of mental struggle sav notes: this is a piece for the polaroid love event ^.^ hosted by the lovelies @nishions & @lilacnini >< wc = 894 words

the hardest part of your breakup was accepting the fact that you weren’t with who you thought would be your forever. you couldn’t recall what went wrong, all you knew was that your soulmate was gone, and you didn’t know if there was a possibility you would rekindle, realizing you were a match made in heaven.

for two days straight you sat in your room, watching everyone else happy in their own relationships. you cried as you couldn’t even patch your mind around the fact that you and jungwon were over. 3 years of love and affection, now all a memory that replays in your head whenever you’re trying to go about with your life.

the first step into this new you was cleaning your living space. the apartment you once shared with jungwon was now yours, filled with empty boxes and a bunch of belongings that belonged to your once boyfriend. the image of your boyfriend packing his belongings, replays in your head.

“i’ll be back first thing in the morning to get this box.” jungwon said as he took majority of his boxes and personal possessions with him, as this would be the last time he steps foot into this apartment.

you watched as the door closed, your eyes heavy with tears. you sat down on your floor as you cried, hoping in some way he’d come back.

you set the box aside as you continued your clean your apartment. soon after, your apartment began looking more cozy. it was time to clean your room, which looked like it had been struck by a tornado.

after some furniture rearranging and a deep cleaning, your room became your room; rather than being your sad depression corner. as you were cleaning house stumbled across a box, a small white box with pink bows on it.

“what’s this?” you thought to yourself, not exactly remembering where this box had came from.

you begun observing the box, finding the words “from jungwon.” your heart nearly stopped as you read those words, and a tightening pain grew to your chest.

you opened the box, concerned about the containments of the box. there lied every single object jungwon has gifted you within the few years you had been together.

the valentine’s day bear.

you held it in your hand, looking at it carefully. you held it close to your nose, as you remember jungwon mentioned it was scented with a chocolate scent. it was your first valentine’s day with jungwon, he had no clue what to get you; so he only asked you two questions. “do you like chocolate?” and “do you like plushies?”

the polaroid pictures from the photo booth you visited after watching a horror movie.

your first date. jungwon planned a perfect movie date, a bit scared because he didn’t enjoy movies that gave him a scare; but was willing to do it just for you. jungwon clung onto your arm anytime a jump scare occurred, you hold onto his arms, he felt more comfortable and at ease. from that point on, jungwon would never be caught at a movie theater watching something that gave him a few sleepless nights.

his favorite gray hoodie

everytime you felt cold, jungwon always had your special hoodie. although it was his, he later realized how much comfort the hoodie brought to you. everytime he’s on his way to see you, he always carries it. jungwon never once forgot yours (his) favorite hoodie.

the wrist bands from your arcade date.

second date, the date where you and jungwon begun to get more close towards each other; also where the awkward stage was no longer there. that day was perfect, jungwon picked you up at 5 and took you to one of the coolest arcades in town. for hours, you and jungwon played countless games and won each other a bunch of prizes. those prizes rested on your shelves, still sitting in the same spot they were placed in.

you began to break down, you heart hurt as you held onto each possession tightly. after all, jungwon was the only guy who made you feel special about yourself. jungwon helped you gain the confidence and self esteem you had today. you were his beautiful girl after all, his prettiest flower. you brought your knees closer to your head as you continued to sob, soaking your sweatpants with tears.

just as you continued to sob, you heard a slight knock at your front door; causing you to jump. you rushed towards your front door, checking the peep hole to see who was there.

jungwon.

you froze in place, not knowing exactly what to do. you wiped your tears away, before opening the door slowly. jungwon stood in your doorway, tears flowing down his eyes; he was barely able to see. jungwon rushed into your arms, holding onto you tightly.

“i’m not ready to let you go.” he sobbed, words hardly able to make out; due to his sobbing. “i still love you.” jungwon squeezed into you, signaling that he was not ready to move on and leave; in fact he still wanted you more than anything.

“then fix this.” you looked at him, determination on your face.

jungwon looked down at you and smiled, tears still in his eyes. “i love you my beautiful girl, and i want to make this right.”

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heeology · 8 months

Text

please, please (special) | y.jw

synopsis → once heeseung introduced you to his friends, jungwon can’t seem to get you out of his mind; you invade his dreams, his thoughts; you consume all of his attention. of course he feels guilty, but once his birthday rolls around, there is only one thing he wants from you and heeseung. what exactly would that be? well, to lose his virginity to you, obviously. afterall, what the birthday boy wants, he gets.

feat. → heeseung (enhypen) (srry everyone, he’s on the sidelines for this one, lol)

genre → smut

pairing → inexperienced!jungwon x heeseung's!gf

warnings → MDNI

w.c. → 3k

a/n → lmk if you want a pt. 2 for heeseung lol

!!DO NOT COPY OR REPOST!!

It’s a little awkward in Jungwon’s bedroom at the moment. He sits on his bed, looking up a little at you and Heeseung who are standing at the base of it, taken aback by the request he just made. When you thought about what to give him for your birthday, the last thing you would have expected him to say is “you”. You turn to Heeseung, shrugging your shoulders, but Heeseung doesn’t look back at you, his eyes are completely fixated on Jungwon making the boy on the bed clear his throat while fixing his posture, not wanting to meet Heeseung’s gaze. You roll your eyes and look back at Jungwon.

“Are you sure this is what you really want?” you ask, still a little in shock.

Jungwon shyly nods his head as he cracks his knuckles, ears turning red from looking at you and having you finally know how he feels.

“I want my first time to be special…” he whispers, trailing off as he gets lost in your eyes.

“It can’t be special with anyone else? Why my girlfriend?” Heeseung asks, clearly pissed off, snapping Jungwon out of his daze.

“I just…trust her,” he lies, eyes flicking from looking at you back at Heeseung, “I need practice…for when I actually get a girlfriend.”

“Watch some porn.” Heeseung mumbles, making you snicker.

Jungwon’s face becomes red from embarrassment; there is no going back from this and he just dug himself into a major hole.

“I’m sorry,” he mumbles while looking down, “just forget I said anything.”

Heeseung groans and leans his head back. You exchange glances with each other and Heeseung rolls his eyes before motioning his head towards Jungwon. You give him a small smile, kissing his cheek before going to sit in front of Jungwon. He feels his bed shift, making him more nervous, as you reach your hand to hold his chin, lifting his head to look at you. You smile and his heart melts as he smiles back.

Your head turns back to look at Heeseung who lets out a sigh and starts to undo his tie. He hands it to you and you turn back to Jungwon.

“If you’re going to sleep with my girlfriend, you’re going to be blindfolded.” Heeseung says sternly, looking straight into Jungwon’s eyes.

Jungwon’s eyes widen as he shifts from looking at the tie to back and forth between you and Heeseung.

“What-” he starts to question, but Heeseung cuts him off.

“You’re also not allowed to kiss her or leave hickies.” Heeseung states, crossing his arms.

“Then what exactly am I allowed to do?” Jungwon asks, his face scrunching in confusion.

“I’m allowing you to fuck her, that’s all you get.”

You laugh a little, taking the tie and lightly hitting it against Heeseung and he looks at you, his expression softening. He reaches a hand out to place on your cheek, caressing it with his thumb making Jungwon roll his eyes.

“Fine.” he says, making you and Heeseung turn back towards him. “As long as you’re okay with it, of course.” he says, becoming shy again as you make eye contact.

You smile sweetly and nod your head, “Anything for you.” you mouth to him causing him to smile and blush.

“Alright, let’s get this over with.” Heeseung says, clapping his hands together.

You stand up, Jungwon looking at you and following your lead. You stand close together, giving him a reassuring smile before taking the tie and gently draping it over his eyes, leaning in a little more to tie it in the back. He feels your breath dance along his skin, his dick starting to harden just by how close you are; just by how gentle you’re being. You finish putting on the blindfold, stepping back just a bit, Jungwon becoming a little saddened.

“I’ll be right over here.” Heeseung says more to you than to the both of you.

You nod your head and Jungwon tenses up.

“Do…you have to be in here?” he asks, not wanting to sound rude, but instantly becoming uncomfortable.

“Um, of course I do; I’m not letting anything unpermitted happen on my watch.”

You roll your eyes, “You don’t trust me?”

“I don’t trust him.” Heeseung says, nodding his head towards Jungwon.

Jungwon would roll his eyes if he could, but as of right now, he is just standing still while being filled with anticipation. He wishes he could see you instead of the darkness of his own closed eyelids; he wishes he could look into your eyes and see you smile at him, that would surely make him calm down.

“It’ll be okay, I’ll take good care of you.” you whisper while putting your hands on his shoulders, making him flinch a little from the unexpected contact.

He nods his head, hesitantly, essentially giving you your permission to move forward. You move your hands from his shoulders, gliding them along his chest to the hem of his shirt. He inhales a shaky breath, ears becoming red. Your fingers grip the edge of his shirt, lifting it up slightly, making him raise his arms–slowly–as you carefully take off his shirt, exposing his upper body. If he could see you, he would lose his mind over the fact that your eyes are delicately grazing over his partially exposed figure as you take off his shirt.

You toss his shirt to the side, all three of you able to hear the fabric hit the hardwood floor of his bedroom from how painstakingly quiet it is in the room. “Is it okay if I kiss your neck?” you ask, breaking the silence, but still in a quiet tone.

Jungwon doesn’t know how to answer; he doesn’t know if he can answer. With your hands lightly running along his chest, a trail of goosebumps being left behind wherever your fingers lightly touch his skin, he can’t seem to form a coherent thought, let alone a grammatically correct sentence to answer you back. He raises his shaking hands and places them on your waist, pulling you into his bare chest.

“No touching.” Heeseung chimes in.

Jungwon groans and removes his hands.

“What exactly do you want me to do?” Jungwon asks.

“You can only touch her if she lets you.” Heeseung says.

“Jeez, you sound like you’re my pimp.” you comment, a little annoyed.

Heeseung bites his tongue, picking up on your tone. You focus back on Jungwon, taking his hands and putting them back on your hips. He feels a small smile tug at his lips as he lowers his head to “look at you”. One of your hands is placed on the side of his neck and the other runs along his arm as you start to leave light kisses along the side of his cheek, gently pressing your lips back onto his soft skin as you make your way down to the side of his neck, starting to run your tongue a little on the spots that you kiss, his grip tightening on your waist.

Jungwon holds his breath, thinking that if he even took one breath, he would somehow miss the feeling of your lips on his skin; he wants to savor this as much as he can. You look back up at him and chuckle, “You can relax a little.” you whisper into his ear. He feels shivers cascade along his spine and he nods his head, swallowing a bit harshly. He feels you pull away from him and he almost lets out a whine, his lips forming a small pout. You coo at his expression and he is dying to see the way you are looking at him.

You move his hands a little slightly to the hem of your dress, and although he can’t see you, you look up at him through your eyelashes. “Do you want to take my clothes off for me?” you ask in a (very close to) pornographic tone.

Heeseung adjusts himself in his seat, becoming turned on a little from the way you are speaking.

“Yes.” Jungwon manages to say through a choked breath.

He feels his face heat up and you smile, letting go of his hands. For a second, he thinks that that means you don’t want him to, but quickly realizes you are letting him do it on his own. He lifts your dress, sometimes extending his fingers so he can feel the edge of your body as they run along it. He gulps, successfully slipping the dress off of you, biting his bottom lip as he tries to imagine what you’re wearing underneath; it’s practically driving him crazy that he can’t see you.

Heeseung, on the other hand, was enjoying the view completely. He smiles proudly at the fact you’re wearing a set he bought especially for you and he is still the only person who gets to see you in it. He continues to gawk at you as you take Jungwon’s hands and move them back onto your body, lightly running them up from your hips, past your stomach, all the way to placing his palms on your breasts. This is enough for Jungwon to get a boner, his cock beginning to ache in his pants.

He feels the material, making you bite your lip as you try not to moan. His fingers run across the lace with a sense of urgency and desperation, him wondering what color it is, whether or not you can see your nipples through the material, how exactly the bra cups your breasts. You let him squeeze them lightly, you let out a stifled breath, almost making him kiss you right then and there. The realization of what is happening starts to settle within him as he reaches to the back of the bra, but he stops. You raise an eyebrow at him, your face feeling a little hot from him fondling your covered breasts, becoming a little turned on from how excited he looks as he touches you.

“Can you give me a boobjob?” he asks, only really wanting you to hear.

“Of course.” you reply, his cock twitching in his pants from your tone.

Heeseung practically gives himself a headache from just how hard he rolled his eyes from Jungwon’s question. He watches as you reach to undo Jungwon’s belt and pants.

“He’s a big boy, let him do it himself.” he comments.

You turn and smile at your boyfriend and he winks at you, mouthing “You’re so hot” and you wink at him. Jungwon smirks at the comment, mentally thinking about how he’s going to prove just that, taking off his pants and boxers, kicking them off to the side as he finally lets his cock free. You look back at him, a little surprised by how big he is, his cock leaking with precum as a bit of it spreads onto his abdomen. Your mouth falls a little agape and Heeseung rolls his eyes harshly once more.

“Get on the bed, big boy.” you encourage Jungwon–partially mocking Heeseung–and he smiles proudly at your request and pet name.

“Don’t call him that.” Heeseung mumbles.

Jungwon lays back, his headboard supporting him in sitting upright as he patiently waits for whatever you have planned next. He feels and hears the bed move as you get on, spreading his legs a bit so you can sit in between. Your hand travels slowly from along his thigh to his balls as you begin to fondle them. He grips the sheets in his hands, letting out a shaky moan. You smile, taking the same hand and now gripping the base of his cock. He inhales deeply as you move your hand up to the tip, your thumb spreading his precum along the top.

He rests his head against his headboard as he shuts his eyes tighter. You lean down, spitting a little onto the tip of his cock, using your hand to spread the mixture of your saliva and his precum all along his shaft. Jungwon clenches his jaw as he tries his best not to cum just yet and you release your grip, taking your boobs, squeezing them a bit more together in your bra, before sliding his cock through your cleavage.

“Holy sh-” he starts, but is cut off by his own moans.

You kiss his tip before squeezing your boobs a little more around his shaft, just to watch him squirm. Your pace starts slow, earning quiet little whines and moans from him.

“You’re such a good boy, Jungwon; you’re doing so well.” you praise and he whines.

“Please, please go faster.” he begs, not caring how he looks or how he sounds.

You let out a sympathetic hum, “Anything for the birthday boy.”

You pick up your pace, occasionally squeezing your boobs together a little more and Jungwon grips the sheets tighter than before, fingertips turning red and he knuckles turning white. He lets out pathetic moans, so badly wanting to see your boobs surrounding his cock. He bucks his hips up a little as he feels a pit in his lower stomach start to form. He calls out your name, bucking his hips up a little more, his tip hitting your chin.

“Jungwon.” you warn, him stopping as he calls out your name again, spurts of his cum landing on the bottom half of your face, your neck, all along your chest and bra.

Heeseung grimaces at the sight of another man’s cum on his girlfriend’s undergarments–one’s that he bought–but Jungwon was relishing in it. He catches his breath as he settles down and you pull his cock out from your breasts. He releases his grip from his sheets, his fingers feeling tense and sore, but before he has the chance to do anything, he feels your hand around his cock again. He whines at your touch, feeling a little sensitive, but you use his cock and wipe it along your chest, neck, and the bottom of your face, transferring his cum onto it.

“What-what are you do-” he is about to question, but then he feels you put his cock in your mouth and he closes his mouth instantly, his fingers gripping the sheets again.

You laugh a little, making him let out a moan as he slides down a bit as if that will make him feel you more. You take in as much of him as you can, some of his cum and your saliva dripping down your chin as you suck, swirling and gliding your tongue anywhere and everywhere you can. His hands make their way from his sheets to your hair, wrapping his fingers in it as he tries to touch you in some way. He moans a little louder than before, a little overstimulated, but he doesn’t want you to stop. He calls out your name once more before pushing your head a little further down as he cums.

You swallow what you can, but you take him out of your mouth, cum all along your lips and chin as a little more leaks from his tip. Heeseung gets up as you wipe the corners of your eyes, tears sprouting because you were gagging on Jugwon’s dick. He takes a tissue from Jungwon’s desk and uses it to wipe your mouth before handing you another one, so you can clean the cum from Jungwon’s dick. You catch on, taking the tissue to wipe the excess cum and he moans at your touch.

“Don’t pull that shit again.” Heeseung warns, turning back to you, “Are you okay?” he asks, his tone soft as his thumb runs along your bottom lip. As annoyed as he is, he can’t help but think about how hot you look in this state.

“I’m okay.” you say, your voice a little croaked.

“Did I hurt you?” Jungwon asks, genuinely concerned, “I’m so sorry.” he begins to apologize, embarrassment shooting throughout his whole body.

“Jungwon, calm down, I’m okay.” you reassure him. Heeseung pulls back, going back to his seat, knowing full and well you are capable of taking care of yourself. You take off your bra, it feeling a bit sticky, casting it to the side along with your underwear. Now, fully undressed, you extend your hand out to Heeseung. He raises an eyebrow, making you shake your hand a bit. He realizes what you mean and sits up a little to grab his wallet out of his back pocket, retrieving a condom, handing it to you. You take it, open it, and then put it on Jungwon. Heeseung takes the wrapper from you, going to throw it away as you position yourself over Jungwon, taking his cock once again in your hand. “Are you okay?” you ask, “Do you want to continue?”

He nods his head a little too quickly and drags his hands along your thighs to your hips, somewhat urging you to ride him already. You smile at his eagerness and position him before sinking down onto his cock. You go slow, getting used to how he stretches you out as Jungwon’s mouth falls agape, stifled breaths coming from him, his head falling back. He grips your hips tightly, sure to leave bruises tomorrow.

Once you're fully settled, you wince a little and move your hips slightly. Jungwon gasps, but bites his tongue. You sit there for a second, taking his hands from your hips, his grip loosening for you to do so, guiding them along your body, resting his hands on your breasts. Jungwon feels them for a second and realizes that you are no longer wearing your bra. He squeezes them in amazement, running his thumbs across your erect nipples, biting his bottom lip so hard that he thinks it might start to bleed.

“Can I suck on them?” he begs.

You pout at his cuteness and run your thumbs along his cheeks. Heeseung covers his mouth, trying to suppress his laugh and you look over to glare at him, knowing full well he acts like this occasionally. Heeseung sits back up straight, still trying not to laugh, but trying to regain his composure. You turn back to Jungwon, letting go of his face.

“Of course.” you say. He doesn’t waste a second, moving his hands back to your sides, sitting forward and you use one of your hands to guide his head to one of your breasts. He opens his mouth, his breath tickling you, before he latches his mouth around your nipple. “Good boy.” you praise, earning yet another eye roll from Heeseung; he’s your good boy, not Jungwon, but whatever. Jungwon gains more confidence in your praise, his hands now on the small of your back as he pushes you more into his mouth, continuing to suck and swirl his tongue on your nipple. You moan a little, making Jungwon moan as he tries not to cum so quickly.

Heeseung groans, becoming a little impatient. You take the hint, rubbing Jungwon’s back, signaling him to finish up. Jungwon releases, a string of saliva connecting between his bottom lip and your nipple, him trying to catch his breath quietly. You scratch the back of his neck, smiling and Jungwon bites his bottom lip. You stop him, cleaning up the saliva from his lip with your thumb. Jungwon wants to kiss you so badly currently, he feels so frustrated. He opens his mouth to speak but you start rocking your hips and he loses all train of thought.

You pick up your pace, pleasure beginning to course throughout your body as you use his dick to get yourself off. You start to moan, your head falling a bit back and Jungwon goes back to gripping your hips, moving you faster. You feel warm and the way your pussy occasionally clenches around his dick causes his whole body to feel like jelly; you hold such power over him. He wants you to call out his name so badly, but he knows you won’t. You lean down into him, leaving some kisses on his neck, your moans so clear for him to hear and he calls out your name repeatedly.

He doesn’t want to cum before you, but he feels the same feeling in his lower stomach start to form again and he can’t hold himself back much longer. He wishes he wasn’t wearing a condom and that he could fill you up with his cum, that he could watch it leak out of you, that he could feel your walls clench around him more clearly, that he can watch you as you bounce up and down on his cock, your boobs bouncing with you. All of these thoughts bring him closer to his orgasm along with you still kissing his neck and moaning in his ear.

“Please, please.” he pleads, whining as tears begin to soak the tie, some escaping from the fabric and rolling down his cheeks.

You pull back, wiping his tears for him, “Cum for me, Jungwon.” you say.

You said his name. Fuck, you said his name as you’re riding his cock. He moans your name, bucking his hips up a little into you, his thighs slapping against your thighs and ass, his dick going further into you and you moan louder than before as you feel the condom become warm with his cum. You cum shortly after, throwing your head back as you rock your hips faster, riding out your high and Jungwon helps you, guiding your hips as you’d like, loving the warm feeling of your cum sliding down his cock.

His hands fall to his sides and you catch your breath a little before getting off of him. Heeseung gets up and helps you off of the bed, pulling you into a deep kiss, whispering in your ear, “You look so pretty, darling.” before placing a quick kiss on your lips.

You smile and playfully hit his shoulder before grabbing your clothes to go clean yourself up. Jungwon calms down, sitting up, feeling overwhelmed with tiredness and pleasure. You return shortly, a glass of water in your hand. You walk over to Jungwon, “You can take off the blindfold now.” prompting him to do just that, his eyes squinting as they adjust to the light. You hand him the glass and he smiles, thanking you, before practically chugging the whole thing.

“Okay, you can put some clothes on, now.” Heeseung urges, taking the glass from Jungwon once he is done.

“Right, sorry.” he says, realizing he is still naked.

Heeseung turns you around as Jungwon gets up to go get cleaned up and dressed, making you laugh. Jungwon chuckles, trying to ease his shaking legs, looking at Heeseung.

“I think we’re past that.” he jokes.

Heeseung scoffs and playfully hits Jungwon’s shoulder.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever. Happy Birthday, Jungwon.” he replies sarcastically.

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iseos · 9 months

Text

: DISTANCE (makes the heart grow fonder)

wc. 675 archive. pairing. yang jungwon x fm!r synopsis. whispered phone calls genre. fluff now playing: can i call you tonight by dayglow

YOU’RE MET WITH A BLACK SCREEN as the call successfully connects. you stare at your reflection in confusion for a minute before a voice comes from the speaker.

"hello?" he is barely audible and the screen is still dark.

"won, are you there? i can't see you." jungwon moves his phone closer to himself, the light from your end of the call illuminating his face. you can't help but laugh at his wide smile despite the darkness. "why is it so dark?"

"sunoo is asleep already," jungwon whispers. you had to turn your volume up to hear him more clearly.

your eyebrows raise when you remember the time difference. ever since jungwon had gone on tour you both struggled to find a reasonable time for you both to call due to the frequently changing time zones.

“oh, i’m sorry i’ll let you get to sleep as well.” you go to hang up but he speaks again.

"no it’s okay, i want to talk to you. is there a reason you called?"

"not specifically…i just missed you,” you whispered to match his volume, even though he was wearing earbuds, so your voice couldn't wake his roommate anyways.

"well, you can call me whenever you want, even if you don't have a reason to." you blush at his words.

you can’t help but admire the boy despite the darkness. his messy hair made it clear that he had been laying in bed for a while before you called. you thought that he was so beautiful, even this late at night, that it almost made you lightheaded.

“next time we travel anywhere i’m bring you with me; i don’t think i’ll survive so long without you again.” jungwon says honestly.

jungwon didn’t think he was capable of missing someone so much; it felt like he couldn’t breathe or think properly without you by his side.

you turn your head away from your phone in an attempt to hide your rising blush, but it was no use, he saw it anyways.

when you turn back to jungwon, you see his dimples on full display. he had a lovesick look in his eyes and he adorned a wide smile that you couldn’t help but mirror.

“oh my, i must be in heaven,” you chuckle, “what have i done to deserve such a beautiful smile?"

“do you think the moon is jealous of how pretty you are?” he suddenly asks, ignoring your previous question.

“are you flirting with me?” you can’t help but raise an eyebrow in suspicion.

“are you just now noticing?”

his face becomes less lit up as he props the phone up against the bed’s headboard but your blush was still very visible to him.

“you look so comfy and cuddle-able.” you can’t help but pout seeing your boyfriend’s adorable and tired appearance. he was now laying on his stomach with his chin resting on his folded arms.

jungwon is interrupted by a yawn before he can say anything in response making you once again remember the late hour for him.

“i’m sorry for keeping you up so late, i’ll let you get to sleep now,” you say seeing him struggle to keep his eyes open as well.

“no, no, it’s okay. i want to keep talking to you.” he yawns again at the end of his sentence.

you tilt your head at him in disapproval, “won, you need to rest for your upcoming performance, we can talk again tomorrow or something.”

“fine, but just stay until i fall asleep please?”

“alright i will, but you have actually go to sleep.”

“promise!”

you both hold your pinkies up in front of the camera before he practically throws himself into his pillow and closes his eyes.

you stay on the call, watching the boy as he starts to fall asleep, his grip on his phone loosening until it drops onto the mattress and points toward the ceiling, darkness taking over your screen once more.

“goodnight my love, sleep well,” you whisper into your microphone before hanging up.

“i hear your voice on the phone now im no longer alone”

#iseos writing ࿐ྂ #enhypen #jungwon #yang jungwon #enhypen drabbles #enhypen fluff #enhypen imagines #enhypen oneshots #enhypen x female reader #jungwon fluff #jungwon scenarios #jungwon imagines #jungwon fanfic #jungwon x reader #jungwon x female reader

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yournameloveskpop · 16 days

Text

Strawberries With Chocolate

Paring: Jungwon x Reader

Warning: Smut, food play, a lot of strawberries and a lot of chocolate

Style: NSFW, Romance

Word Count: 3,401

Jungwon, with a twinkle in his eye, casually mentioned to Y/N, "You know, I've always had a thing for chocolate-flavored strawberries. They're the perfect mix of sweet and rich."

Y/N, leaning closer, her curiosity piqued, asked, "Really? And why is that on your mind right now?"

"Well," Jungwon began, his voice dropping to a playful whisper, "I was thinking... how do you think they'd taste off someone's skin? Specifically, someone very close to me?" His gaze locked onto Y/N's, filled with mischief and warmth.

Y/N laughed, a light, melodic sound that filled the room. "Jungwon, are you suggesting what I think you are?" She teased, raising an eyebrow in amusement.

"Maybe..." Jungwon replied, a mischievous smile playing on his lips. "Imagine it. A night dedicated to exploring flavors and sensations. Just you, me, and a bowl of chocolate-covered strawberries."

Y/N bit her lip, considering the proposal. "That does sound tempting," she admitted, her eyes sparkling with excitement. "But only if you promise to make it a night to remember."

"Promise," Jungwon said solemnly, but his eyes were dancing. "I'll make sure it's unforgettable. A sensory experience like no other."

Later that night, Jungwon meticulously prepared a bowl of chocolate-covered strawberries, his hands slightly trembling with anticipation. As he approached Y/N, his face was alight with excitement, reminiscent of a child on the brink of a cherished adventure.

"Look what I've got," Jungwon said, his voice brimming with enthusiasm as he presented the bowl to Y/N.

Y/N's eyes widened in delight. "Oh, Jungwon, they look delicious," she exclaimed, her smile as bright as the gleam in Jungwon's eyes.

"Only the best for tonight," he winked, then, with a sudden move, he pulled her in close.

His excitement was palpable, transforming into a more profound, intense emotion.

Their eyes locked, and without another word, they shared a deep, passionate kiss that seemed to stop time. Then, in a swift, fluid motion, Jungwon scooped Y/N into his arms, his strength surprising her.

"Jungwon!" Y/N gasped, a mix of surprise and excitement in her voice as she wrapped her arms around his neck.

"Tonight's special, remember?" Jungwon murmured against her ear, his breath warm and inviting. "Let's make every moment count."

With each step, Jungwon's confidence surged, carrying Y/N into her bedroom with an air of certainty. Gently setting her down, he looked into her eyes, a silent question hanging between them.

"May I?" Jungwon's voice was a soft murmur, his fingers already teasing at the hem of her top, his desire clear in his eyes.

Y/N nodded, her breath catching in her throat. "Yes, please," she whispered back, her voice laced with anticipation.

As he carefully lifted her top, their eyes remained locked, sharing a moment of vulnerability and trust. The fabric slid away, and Jungwon couldn't resist drawing her into another deep, longing kiss, the intensity growing.

With the bowl of chocolate-covered strawberries still in his other hand, he whispered against her lips, "I've been thinking about this moment all day."

Y/N smiled against his kiss, her hands finding their way to his shoulders. "And I've been waiting to see what you had in mind," she teased, her voice playful yet filled with desire.

Jungwon gently broke the kiss, a glint of mischief in his eyes. "Well, let's not keep you waiting any longer," he said, balancing the bowl carefully as he picked up a strawberry, dipped in rich chocolate.

"Are you ready to find out how sweet this can be?" Jungwon asked, his voice a tantalizing whisper as he held the chocolate-covered strawberry close to her lips, then down her body, teasing the path it might take.

"Yes," y/n answered, full of the excitement.

As Jungwon carefully placed the bowl on the bedside table, his eyes never left Y/N, radiating an intensity that made her heart race. He gently pushed her onto the bed, his actions deliberate, his desire palpable. Hovering above her, Jungwon's touch was feather-light, his lips brushing against her skin with such softness it sent shivers down her spine.

"You're beautiful," he whispered, as his lips traced a path down her neck, slow and purposeful, each kiss sending waves of anticipation through her body.

Y/N's response was a sigh of pure contentment, her fingers finding their way into his hair, gently combing through it as he meticulously worked his way down her body, stopping at the waistband of her jeans.

The sound of her gentle sigh encouraged him further, his fingers deftly unbuttoning and sliding the denim down her legs, his lips following close behind, marking her skin with kisses that left a trail of warmth.

When his lips reached her thigh, Y/N couldn't help but moan softly, the sensation sparking a fire within her. Jungwon, hearing her response, looked up, their eyes locking in a moment of intense connection.

"I want to make you feel good," Jungwon murmured, his voice laced with promise, before sitting up to retrieve the bowl of chocolate-covered strawberries.

Selecting one, he dipped it further into the chocolate, ensuring it was coated perfectly. With a playful smile, he traced a line of chocolate across her belly, watching as she giggled at the sensation, the ticklish touch contrasting with the warmth of his fingers. Carefully, he placed the strawberry on her belly button, the weight of it barely noticeable but the intention clear.

Leaning down, he kissed her belly again, this time his tongue joined the play, gliding over her skin, following the trail of chocolate he had drawn. The chocolate mixed with the warmth of his breath felt electrifying, sending a cascade of shivers across her body. Y/N watched, mesmerized, as Jungwon made his way to the strawberry, taking his time, savoring the journey as much as the destination.

The sight of him, so focused and intent on pleasing her, made Y/N's heart swell. As he finally reached the strawberry, he looked up at her, their eyes meeting in a silent exchange filled with desire and affection. With deliberate slowness, he took the strawberry into his mouth, his eyes never leaving hers.

The intimacy of the moment, the shared breaths, the mingling of chocolate and desire, wove a spell around them. Y/N felt as if they were the only two people in the world, caught in a dance of passion and sweetness.

"How does that feel?" Jungwon asked softly, his voice a mere whisper against her skin, tinged with the unmistakable hue of desire.

"Amazing," Y/N breathed out, her voice a mix of wonder and longing. "Don't stop," she added, the words barely audible, a testament to the depth of her feelings in that moment.

Jungwon's movements were unhurried as he gently removed the remaining fabric from Y/N, ensuring she felt cherished with every touch. His own clothes soon joined hers on the floor, a silent promise that she wouldn't be the only one baring herself tonight.

With a tender smile, he picked up the bowl of chocolate and strawberries again, his eyes gleaming with a mix of love and desire. He started to apply the chocolate and place the strawberries meticulously over her body: a delicate brush over her chest, a playful dab on her neck, a loving circle around her stomach, and finally, a teasing trail down her thighs. Each touch was a whisper of his affection, each placement a testament to his desire to please her.

Every time his tongue met her skin, a shiver raced down Y/N's spine, her back arching involuntarily, especially when he reached her chest. The warmth of his breath against her skin, combined with the cool touch of the chocolate, created a contrast that was intoxicating.

"This tastes so good... You taste good," Jungwon beamed, his eyes alight with happiness as he savored each moment, each taste that blended perfectly with her skin.

Y/N couldn't help but chuckle softly at his comment, her heart swelling with affection. "I never knew I could be a dessert," she teased, her voice light despite the intensity of the sensations coursing through her.

Jungwon paused, looking up at her with a warm smile. "The best dessert," he corrected gently, his gaze filled with adoration. "And I'm just getting started."

As he moved down to her thighs, the atmosphere shifted, the air charged with a deeper sense of intimacy. Jungwon's actions became more deliberate, his licks more lingering as he cleaned the trails of chocolate from her thighs. His tongue painting patterns of pleasure that left Y/N breathless.

The sensations overwhelmed Y/N, her breaths coming in short gasps. "Jungwon," she whispered, her voice a mix of desire and wonder.

Jungwon's actions were deliberate, filled with an intensity that was both captivating and reverent. As he moved closer to her more sensitive area, his admiration was palpable. The soft, glistening skin caught his eye, and for a moment, he found himself caught in the beauty of it, his breath hitching slightly as he bit his lip, trying to maintain control.

"Y/N," he whispered, his voice a husky murmur filled with desire, "you're so beautiful." He tried to meet her gaze, seeking permission in her eyes for the next step.

Y/N, caught in the intensity of the moment, nodded, her breath caught in anticipation. "Jungwon, please," she urged softly, giving him all the encouragement he needed.

With a deep breath to steady himself, Jungwon reached into the bowl again, his fingers coming out coated with chocolate. He watched her reaction closely as he gently applied the chocolate to her most sensitive area. The coolness of the chocolate against her warm skin made Y/N gasp, a sharp intake of breath filled with surprise and pleasure.

"Is this okay?" Jungwon asked, his voice laced with concern, wanting to ensure her comfort above all else.

"Yes, yes, it's more than okay," Y/N assured him, her voice shaky with the waves of sensation that Jungwon's actions were sending through her.

Satisfied with her response, Jungwon licked his fingers clean, his gaze never leaving hers, a silent promise of the pleasure to come. He then gently coaxed her legs apart further, making sure she was comfortable and ready before he proceeded.

As Jungwon dove in, his movements were slower, more deliberate than before, savoring every moment, every taste. The sensation of his tongue against the chocolate-covered skin was indescribable, sending waves of pleasure through Y/N's body that had her back arching off the bed.

Y/N's response was instinctive, her body flinching slightly at the sensation, her hips rolling in response to the intense pleasure. A low moan escaped her lips, a sound of pure ecstasy that encouraged Jungwon to continue, to explore further.

"Jungwon," she moaned, her voice barely above a whisper, but laden with desire. "It feels... so good."

As Jungwon continued his tender ministrations, the sounds of Y/N's pleasure were music to his ears. He lifted his gaze briefly, locking eyes with hers in a moment of intense connection, but he remained steadfast in his dedication, not pausing in his actions. Even as the last traces of chocolate were savored and gone, his attention to her sensitive region didn't wane. Driven by her moans and whispered pleas, he navigated with care, ensuring not a single spot was neglected, his movements becoming a meticulous exploration of her desire.

"Jungwon, please, don't stop," Y/N gasped out, her breath hitching as waves of pleasure built within her.

Her hands found the back of his head, guiding him gently, an unspoken communication of her needs.

Feeling her hands in his hair, Jungwon hummed in response, a vibration of pleasure that echoed her own. The unique blend of her taste, enhanced by the sweet hint of chocolate, overwhelmed his senses, driving him to continue with even more enthusiasm.

"You're incredible," he murmured against her skin, his voice muffled but laden with emotion.

Y/N, caught in the crescendo of her climax, held him closer, her grip tightening as she was swept up in the intensity of the moment. A cry escaped her lips, a sound of pure ecstasy that filled the room, marking the peak of her pleasure.

Jungwon, feeling the tremors of her release, hummed again, a sound of satisfaction and affection. He stayed with her through the waves of her climax, his presence a constant source of comfort and pleasure. As he finally eased back, he looked up at her with eyes full of love and admiration.

"Y/N," he began, his voice soft and full of wonder, "are you okay? Was that good for you?"

Y/N, still catching her breath, nodded, a blissful smile spreading across her face. "It was more than good, Jungwon. It was... amazing ," she managed to say.

Jungwon, his heart swelling with happiness at her words, moved up to hover over her again and knelt between her legs. "I'm just happy to see you happy," he said, placing a gentle and deep kiss on her lips.

As Jungwon's lips left a trail of warmth on her neck, he couldn't resist voicing the delight of their new-found indulgence.

"I think strawberries and chocolate on you is definitely my new favorite dessert," he whispered, his words a playful tease against her skin before he pulled back to look at her.

Y/N, catching his teasing vibe, replied with a playful curiosity, "Oh really?" She raised an eyebrow, her tone matching his. "And are there more of these gourmet treats left in that bowl?"

Glancing towards the bowl that had momentarily been forgotten in their intense connection, Jungwon noticed a few strawberries still bathing in chocolate. With a smile, he picked one up, holding it gently to Y/N's lips.

"Let's find out," he said, his voice a soft murmur.

As Y/N took a bite, her eyes never left his, conveying a myriad of emotions that made his heart flutter. It was a look that spoke of deep trust, desire, and something more profound that had been cultivated throughout their shared moments tonight.

However the entire session had stirred something within Jungwon, a longing that went beyond the physical. He had restrained himself, focusing on Y/N's pleasure, savoring the sweetness of the strawberries and chocolate as if they were a metaphor for their relationship. But now, he found himself yearning for a deeper connection.

Sensing his shift, Y/N hummed in appreciation of the taste, her sound of contentment quickly turning into a moan of surprise as Jungwon moved closer, joining them in the most intimate of ways. He eased his way into her and started off slowly, every move filled with a reverence for the bond they shared.

"Jungwon," Y/N whispered, her voice carrying a mix of surprise, her breath hitching as she adjusted to the new sensation.

"I know," Jungwon responded, his voice soft yet filled with an undeniable need. He paused, ensuring they were on the same page, their eyes locking in a silent conversation. "I just... I need you," he admitted, his movements becoming more insistent.

Y/N's response was immediate, her hands gripping his arms, signaling her eagerness. Her actions mirrored his, moving in sync with him, each moment building upon the last. The air around them charged with their escalating passion.

Not only did the taste of chocolate and strawberries linger between them, but the profound connection they shared heightened every sensation. Jungwon found himself grasping for more, his hands tangling in her hair, his breaths turning into grunts as their movements became more fervent.

"I love you," he confessed amidst the intensity of their union, the words slipping out, raw and honest.

It was a declaration that transcended the physicality of their actions, a testament to the depth of his feelings for her.

Y/N, feeling the sincerity in his voice, pressed closer, her own voice echoing his sentiment. "I love you too, Jungwon," she breathed out, her words a beacon in the storm of their passion.

As the intensity between them escalated, Jungwon found a new rhythm, pushing the boundaries of their passion even further. His movements quickened, driven by a desire that seemed insatiable. He could sense the crescendo of their pleasure drawing near, and from Y/N, a loud cry confirmed she was right there with him.

"Uuh, yeah. like that... Just a little longer," Jungwon managed to groan out, his voice strained with the effort of holding back, wanting to prolong this exquisite moment for both of them.

Amidst the fervor, Jungwon's eyes caught sight of a few lingering chocolate stains adorning Y/N's skin, remnants of their earlier play. Without a second thought, he leaned down, his tongue tracing the curves of her body, cleaning the chocolate in a way that sent shivers through both of them, elevating their passion to new heights.

"Oh, Jungwon," Y/N gasped, her voice laced with surprise and delight at the sudden sensation.

Her words spurred him on, and as they both neared the brink, the room filled with the intensity of their connection. A few moments more, and Y/N was overcome, her body tensing as she reached her peak for the second time, clinging to Jungwon as if he was her anchor in the storm of sensations.

Jungwon felt her climax, the waves of her pleasure crashing over him, pushing him over the edge.

"Y/N, I'm—" he barely got the words out before he too reached his climax, his movements becoming erratic, his hips stuttering against hers in a rhythm that soon came to a complete stop.

As they both caught their breath, wrapped in the aftermath of their shared ecstasy, Jungwon collapsed beside Y/N, his breaths heavy, his heart still racing. They lay there in silence, the intensity of their experience hanging in the air like a tangible thing.

"Wow," Y/N finally whispered, the word filled with awe and a hint of disbelief.

Jungwon turned to her, a smile playing on his lips, his eyes soft with affection. "Yeah, 'wow' doesn't even begin to cover it," he said, his hand finding hers, their fingers intertwining.

Jungwon and Y/N couldn't contain their laughter, a sense of satisfaction washing over them after their unique adventure. "I didn't expect tonight to turn into a gourmet experience," Jungwon joked, his eyes twinkling with amusement.

Y/N grinned, her energy matching his. "Well, I've always said you have a way of surprising me. But I think we're both a sticky mess now."

Catching his breath, Jungwon nodded, his pragmatic side taking over. "Agreed. How about a quick shower? We need to get rid of this chocolaty evidence."

"Lead the way, Detective," Y/N quipped, her laughter echoing as Jungwon swept her into his arms with a playful ease.

In the bathroom, the mood shifted to one of care and comfort. The shower turned on, and the warm water began to erase the traces of their dessert escapade. "Feeling better?" Jungwon asked, his tone light yet considerate as he rinsed off the chocolate from her body.

"Much," Y/N replied, leaning into his touch. "This is teamwork at its finest."

Post-shower, Jungwon took the initiative to change the bedding, a silent promise of comfort after their indulgence. "Can't sleep on strawberry seeds, can we?" he remarked, tossing the fresh linens over the bed with a flourish.

Y/N, already feeling the fatigue of the night's adventures, helped smooth out the sheets. "No, we certainly cannot. Thanks for taking care of it."

With the bed now inviting, they both settled in, the excitement of the night giving way to a peaceful tiredness. "Comfy?" Jungwon asked, as he adjusted the pillows behind him, making sure Y/N was nestled just right.

"Perfect," she assured, finding her spot next to him. The room was filled with a comfortable silence, both of them winding down from the high of their shared experience.

As they lay in the dark, the events of the evening a pleasant memory, Jungwon whispered, "Goodnight, Y/N. See you in the dream world."

"Goodnight, Jungwon," she whispered back, a smile in her voice. And with that, they drifted off, the excitement of the day giving way to the calm of the night, each content with the company of the other.

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moonlightwonie · 7 months

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꧁ first time with your bf jungwon (part 1 of ?) ꧂

‼️TW: smut, nsfw, mdni‼️

jungwon x f!reader || word count: 0.7k

☆゜・。。・゜゜・。。・゜★ 🔮 ☆゜・。。・゜゜・。。・゜★

you and your boyfriend jungwon had been dating for a few months. spending almost every waking second thinking about eachother and wishing you could be together all of the time. as time went on and you two began spending more time with one another, the two of you were finding it harder and harder to keep your hands off of eachother. although you both agreed that you’d want to try and wait so that your first time together was special and spontaneous, you guys would take turns exploring eachothers bodies with your hands, but you’d never taken things any further.

whenever your boyfriend would start looking deep into your eyes with that look, you knew he wouldn’t be able to keep his thoughts clean or his hands off of you. his hands would linger under your shirt and give your breasts a small squeeze, your fingers finding their way into his soft locks and tugging at them ever so gently. quiet whimpers would fall from the raven haired boys mouth, only making him kiss you deeper. moving his hands to your hips and pulling you in closer, jungwon wanted to feel you as close as physically possible. you thought it was cute seeing how needy your boyfriend was for you, especially when you barely did anything to provoke such a reaction out of him.

“what is it, wonie? tell me what you want“ you’d ask as you straddled his lap and look down into your boyfriends pretty eyes, both your own and your boyfriends cheeks flushed at the sudden change in positions and wave of confidence you’d exuded from your question. his bottom lip caught between his teeth as his gaze flickered from your eyes, to your lips, and then back to your eyes. “‘want you… i want you, y/n” he’d mutter as he felt all of the blood in his body begin to migrate to one place in particular. his words alone sent shivers down your spine, feeling an ache between your thighs as your cheeks grew even warmer.

you’d then lean into him and gently press your soft lips against the nape of his neck before moving them up to his ear and whispering into it, “you’re gonna have to be a little more specific than that”, teasing him as you giggled softly before pulling away so that you can look into his eyes again. he both hated and loved whenever you’d tease him, it made him roll his eyes and snicker, grinning as he shook his head. honestly, in his eyes he thought that you couldn’t get any hotter, but he was eager to be proven wrong. “mmm cute… very cute” he’d say before poking the tip of his tongue against the inside of his cheek. he moved his hands to your hips and began pushing you down onto his growing bulge, sitting up some more so that you two were now face to face, only inches away from each others noses touching.

“do you feel that, baby? do you feel how badly i want you? how badly that i need you?” he’d grin mischievously as he tilted his head ever so slightly to the side as he looked deep into your eyes. you could feel the anticipation and hunger pooling up in your stomach. jungwon had always had such a way with his words, but this time he had left you feeling absolutely mesmerized, speechless, and (most importantly) wanting nothing more than to just give yourself to him in every way. “then have me… take me, please?” you asked as you felt his growing bulge against your clothed warmth. jungwon knew that you’d never gone all the way before (neither had he), so he was a little nervous that he may not be as good as you might’ve been anticipating for your first time to , but he was more than willing to exercise that and try his very hardest to give you the time of your life.

“‘gonna take real good care of you, pretty, don’t worry” he said softly before pulling you in closer to him, crashing his lips into yours and kissing you deeply as his hands remained firmly on your hips, rocking them back and forth against his pelvis. you whimpered softly at the friction, feeling the tension building up as you placed your hands on each of his broad shoulders for support before grinding yourself against his lap. the soft grunts and heavy breathing coming from him was enough to make you flood your panties. god, he sounded so fucking hot. oh. my. g o d. <3

☆゜・。。・゜゜・。。・゜★ 🔮 ☆゜・。。・゜゜・。。・゜★

ahh i hope you guys liked it! it was my first time writing smut, so i apologize if it wasn’t very good! if you’d like for me to post a continuation, please let me know and i’ll gladly do so! thank you for reading, feel free to reblog if you enjoyed it <3

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stariekis · 2 months

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ep 3 : matching and everything — note ¹ : first not awkward interaction between our main character who cheered ! now things are getting interesting huh ~ n e ways my loves hope you guys enjoy it mwah <3 wc : 1.9k

You just finished your first class of the day, contemporary art. Hanni wasn't feeling great that morning so you were all alone for almost the whole day.

Not going to lie, you were pretty scared. After what happened the other day, your incident with your 'crush,' you were terrified. The last thing you wanted was to go through the same situation without your friends by your side.

As you walked through the hallway, gripping at your books as if your life depends on it, you saw a familiar figure walking towards you. Once you realize who that person was your eyes opened in complete shock.

The one and only boy with pretty dimples ...

But, before your were able to run away, your hear a sweet voice echoing in the empty hallway — 'Cute sweater' he said.

You turned around, making sure that the pretty boy was actually talking to you. As you looked around you found the place completely empty, so he was definitely talking to you.

— 'T-Thank you so much, yours is pretty cute too' you answered him. — 'Now that i look at it, our clothes are the same color' he pointed out.

Looking at him and then taking a look at your own outfit you realize that that was true, both of you were wearing a blue sweater, black pants and white shoes. — 'Yeah we are matching and everything' that was the lamest thing you could ever say.

You smiled at him, trying to look relaxed even though the nervousness was eating you alive. But after hearing him giggle because of your comment your heart slowed down, nervousness ended up being replaced with a warm feeling.

— 'I guess we do yeah' he dedicated you the prettiest smile your ever seen, your knees shaking under his gaze. — 'I have to go now sorry, see you around ?'

Not being able to say any coherent word you just nodded your head at his words and waved at him.

Your heart was about to explote.

On the other hand, Jungwon wasn't feeling any different from you.

There is something about you that makes him incredible happy. Just a smile from you or a simple conversation like the one you just had is enough to make his day a much better one.

But he was not interested in you, and he definitely does not like you. Then, why did he felt the need to talk to you as soon as he saw you walking down the hallway ? why does he want to know more about you ? why is he wishing to see you again ?

He didn't have an answer to that question, the only thing he knows is that he can't wait to hear the sound of you angelic voice again.

previous — masterlist. — next

tag list (open.) : @wanderers-archive @ikeuizm @wonryllis @iheartjayke @lilacnini @isabellah29 @wwonwonism @bywons @jaeyunluvr @nishislcve @jiamini @ramenoil @copyhanni @ilovejungwonandhaechan @qaifiya

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i8h0on · 25 days

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is it over now? — yang jungwon

synopsis: after being gone for a year, y/n returns to her hometown, seoul. with the aim of recovering her lover, jungwon, she takes the risk of going to a party with her best friend. is her love lost forever?

genre: angst, literally

warnings: lots of swearing. mentions of alcohol, sex & smoking.

word count: 7.5k

﹒˚ ₊ ︵﹒⊹ ๑ ︵︵ ๑ ⊹﹒︵

I COMBED MY HAIR for the twentieth time that night, trying to disguise the frizz starting to build up in my long, black hair.

the big white clock on the glittery wall of my small room read 8:30 p.m, and nari, my best friend, hadn't made an appearance at the front door, lacking even her usual honk – a playful annoyance i had come to expect. that only meant one thing: she was too busy swallowing heeseung's mouth to remember to pick me up.

gazing into the mirror, i observed my precarious false eyelashes, a skill i'd mastered over time, now unstable, poised to detach. the subtle pink gloss on my lips was barely distinguishable from the natural color of them, and my blush made me look like i'd been slapped in the face. god, when did i get so bad at makeup?

reminiscing, i once held the title of sephora's most loyal customer, just as i dominated every store that tested my mom's credit card limits. however, that was all before she whisked me across the country. precisely one year ago, i hastily packed everything, boarding the first train to busan – akin to a real refugee. was it foolish? perspectives vary. the optimal choice? perhaps not. regret? not in the slightest.

my mother took me to a small village in the hills, where people didn't live so much with materialistic things and the atmosphere was more conservative. my appearance, in turn, was much lighter and more natural while i lived there. that’s probably why now i couldn’t even use a bronzer without looking stupid. it seemed that all the beauty tricks i had learned from vogue had gone down the drain.

i was too focused on correcting my dark circles with concealer when a sharp, deafening horn blared through the house, causing me to shake completely at the sudden sound and nearly go blind from the concealer that had stuck to my eye. nari, that bastard. she knew what she was doing.

— tell her i'm coming! — i shouted downstairs with no response.

i hurriedly grabbed my bag, put everything i thought i needed into it, put on my coat, took one more look in the mirror and flew out the door.

when i got to the living room, i saw my younger sister, iseul, propped up on the big mint-colored sofa munching on chips and watching "the penthouse" for the twenty-fourth time. this 14-year-old brat never did anything at home.

— could you, hum, for the first time in your life, be useful for something other than finishing off my chips? — i warned her. the youngest just gave me a debauched, childish look.

— you've been back for less than 24 hours and you already want to be the housewife?! relax, sis. — the audacity!

— when mom sees this greasy sofa, i want to see who's going to relax. — i hastily closed the door. i knew very well that my mother would go crazy when she saw it. the chips weren't even hers, dammit.

iseul had always been a cheeky child, but i never thought that a year away would make her any worse. she was impossible to live with, and i hadn't even spent that much time with her since i arrived, but it was enough to find her unbearable.

i ran over to nari's car, the black hyundai was still exactly the same, although it had a few more scratches than usual. nari loved to go on adventures, she was crazy.

i opened the car door and the familiar smell of vanilla filled my nostrils. so many memories in this car, my god. it seems like yesterday that my first drink ended in vomit on these very seats, there's still a little brown stain on them. and that time we ran afoul of the police for attempted trespassing? that was definitely the best, don't ask me why. we were very angry and annoying teenagers, at least under the influence of alcohol.

— y/n, my love, how i've missed you! — nari practically swallowed me up in a tight, cozy hug, and i don't know how she didn't break her back the way she squirmed all over the front seat. i hugged her even tighter, i missed her so much. we talked every day by facetime during the time i was away, but nothing matched having my best friend in the flesh by my side. i had been looking forward to this moment for months.

i met jeong nari in the first year of elementary school, when before she was the best-known girl in the school, she was still the girl that wore glitter elastics and bottle-bottom glasses. she helped me rebuild my sandcastle when a stupid older boy destroyed it with his footsteps, and we've been inseparable ever since. nari was the funniest girl i knew, it was impossible not to burst out laughing when i was next to her. even in the worst, most inconvenient situations, i would piss myself laughing whenever she opened her mouth.

she was the kind of girl who didn't need to make an effort for people to like her, who attracted attention even without any intentions. unlike most of the snobbish girls at my school, who tried to make it to the top by being cheap copies of regina george, nari stood out for being the most generous, fun person ever. she could go to school in a sweatshirt and bobsponge pants and easily still be the prettiest girl there. when you needed her, she was just there. always there. that's why she was so well-known, so loved. she was a ray of sunshine in such a dark city. there wasn't a single day that i didn't admire her, she was the best person ever. the spotlight was always on her face, her gorgeous face. not only was she popular, she was also extremely intelligent, her place at seoul university was already guaranteed. she really had it all, she was everything.

and i... well, you could say i was just... there. unlike jeong, i was the most sociably awkward girl seoul high had. not that i was an 80-year-old who spent her free time reading books in the living room in front of the chimney, not at all. i was just...me. although most of my senior year knew who y/n was, i was mostly known "nari's friend". not that it bothered me at all! i loved going unnoticed, living my life quietly and not having my name on everyone's lips every weekend. that is, with the exception of this one, for obvious reasons. "nari's friend is back in busan after 1 year completely missing" will be in the local papers, if you doubt it.

— i missed you too, girl. — i kissed her on the cheek as i undid the hug, not even remembering that heeseung was watching the intimate moment. — hi to you too, man. — i smiled slightly while we shaked our hands.

— it's good to see you again, y/n. — he said, smiling. lee heeseung was the classic heartthrob from every cliché movie, easily having all the girls in the world at his feet with a wink. the perfect match for nari, literally. i'm not sure how the two of them met, i've only been told that another friend of ours introduced them and since then they've been stuck together with permanent glue. cute. too cute.

i snuggled into the seat, preparing myself for the short journey. we were going to my supposed welcome party, according to nari herself. but in reality, i knew it was just another of jay's weekend parties at his luxurious mansion, and they'd taken the opportunity to stick me there. seriously, there weren't even enough people who knew me to fill a party in a house that size. but i was grateful for the attempt.

i spent the whole trip gossiping with my best friend, and surprisingly heeseung, about my boring and uninteresting life in busan for the whole year. unlike normal teenagers, who used to have the best experiences of their lives when they went to another city or abroad, i had nothing. as always, my life was so boring. the most exciting story i had was when i had to chase a flock of sheep down a mountain and almost died. wow. they couldn't even hide how sorry they were that my year had been so bad, even though nari made hilarious jokes about my misfortune. they also gave me all the updates about our (un)loved classmates, and no chance that yerim from english class was pregnant?! and that miyeong had cheated on her boyfriend with her neighbor?! i swear, my school was definitely not normal. about three hundred rich, snobbish teenagers together in one place, who even thought that would be a good idea? every week there was a new scandal, it was pure chaos.

another ten minutes or so and we arrived at the park house, music blaring from inside. i was always impressed by jay's ability to convince his neighbors, all of whom were just old men who surely went to bed at eight o'clock at night, not to call the police. when i was little, even using my little ukulele in the garage at four in the afternoon caused problems. having money has its advantages, i guess. we all got out of the car after nari parked.

— now, let me look at you properly, girl. — nari picked me up and spun me around like a doll, making me dizzy with so many pirouettes. — oh god, you look so gorgeous!

and look at that ass! have you been exercising, like… mountain climbing? — she joked, making me turn redder than i already was with that ridiculous blush. while she thought i was hot, i thought i was a bit fat, but i would never confess that out loud.

she looked at me like a proud mother, as if i were her baby who had just taken her first steps or said her first word. she was just like that, more dramatic than usual. — seriously y/n, you look more beautiful than ever. — the girl repeated, and if i didn't know better, i'd swear that her teary eyes were real. i didn't understand what all the compliments were about, after all, i didn't look very stunning. i wasn't wearing anything extravagant or attention-grabbing. i was wearing a black mini skirt, which was almost not mini at all, a white corset that was almost crushing my bones, and a black leather jacket. the most basic outfit you could wear for a night out. there must have been at least ten girls in the same outfit as me in there. probably more attractive, but still.

i even tried to dress up a bit more and try to look more attractive, but the sequined dress made me look like a mirrorball, not to mention all the other dresses i tried on and they all made me look like what i did best: pathetic. i just gave up on the idea, preferring to go in a more comfortable way. well, apart from the fact that i wasn't very comfortable. but if i really came the way i wanted, i'd be laughed at. who would wear a minnie sweatshirt to a party? one way or another, as soon as i stepped inside that mansion, i was going to seriously regret my fashion decisions by comparing myself to the other girls, it was something habitual already. i didn't even have to go in, because the dress nari was wearing, which made her look like a real angel, made me regret ever coming. i was just...me, again. at least my clothes were good, but they weren't outstanding, like always.

i breathed heavily as we headed for the door, nervousness taking over my body once again. y/n, it was just a fucking party. a party that, by the way, didn't even focus on me. all i needed to do for the next few hours was smile and pretend that my months away had actually been interesting. as i was the most awkward girl ever, it certainly wasn't going to end well.

heeseung opened the big door, and the music that was already blaring throughout the condominium just blared in my ears, making me almost deaf. i walked down the long corridor with great difficulty, having to apologize every time i took a step for accidentally bumping into someone. for god's sake, there were at least a thousand people there. how could a place full of hormonal teenagers, dripping with sweat and with disgusting alcohol breath, attract anyone? well, i couldn't answer, because i only knew the answer when i was already under the influence of shots of vodka. while the alcohol wasn't injecting itself into my veins, which was when i become a completely different person, i just sat on the sofa, waiting for someone to talk to. i only became sociable under the influence of alcohol, something i started using to try not to be so introverted. needless to say, it went horribly wrong; i even had my stomach pumped. my parents still won't talk about it. fair enough.

i sighed heavily for the thirtieth time inside that house, when we passed the death row and saw someone we knew. it was none other than park sunghoon, one of heeseung's best friends and also one of the best ice skaters in high school. as well as being talented, he was also very attractive, although his jokes were never funny. we hardly ever exchanged a word, only in biology lessons from time to time, when he didn't know what page was in the book. apart from these interactions, i rarely spoke to him, but we had many friends in common.

— nari, heeseung. — the tall boy announced, greeting the two as if they were great partners. i mean, they really were, i just wasn't aware of his sudden closeness to my best friend. he looked at me, as if i were some kind of exotic animal he'd never seen before, and smiled after a while. — y/n, i see you're back. did you like boston?! — he said in a calm voice, barely able to understand his words in all the noise.

— busan, i went to busan. — i said out loud. boston?! for heaven's sake. he looked at me, his pupils more dilated than the milky way. well, at least he hadn't changed one bit. even though i wasn't his friend, all the students at seoul high knew about sunghoon's love for weed. and it was clear to see. he started laughing at himself. — yes, that's it, busan... did you like it?

i forced a smile, trying not to look unpleasant. — you have no idea. — he nodded, even though i was sure he hadn't heard a word i'd said. but it was okay, he seemed too drugged to understand, or drunk. i felt sorry for his stomach. and for him too, the next day he was going to wake up with a head heavier than a stone.

he exchanged a few more words with lee and disappeared like dust into the crowd, leaving the three of us alone again. nari approached me.

— hee and i are going to talk to the basketball team, do you want to come? — i tried my best to understand, the seoul accent not helping my thinking. the basketball team, although good at what they did, were too noisy for my liking. when they weren't disturbing everyone's class with the noise of their balls on the court, they were making a complete mess of the school corridors.

— no thanks sweetie, i'll be fine here. — i lied. no, i wouldn't be fine over there. i hardly knew anyone, not well enough to hang out at a party for a while. i wasn't even planning on drinking that night.

— are you sure?

— yes, don't worry, i'll call you. — i reassured her. did i even have a battery in my phone? i didn't even bother to check it before i left the house, what a responsible daughter i was.

she just smiled at me, probably tired of screaming in my ear, and the couple disappeared. i was completely alone now. i looked around. rihanna's "don't stop the music" was blasting everywhere, while all i could see was people rubbing up against each other. gross. i preferred to leave that pornographic scene and headed for the kitchen. well, at least the kitchen i remembered being in the house. i'd be pretty screwed if he'd changed the rooms.

i was hoping that the situation would ease up a bit in the kitchen, but it was the same, if not worse. people making out, kegs of beer in every corner, drinking games, some questionable attitudes, just another normal night in this house. i headed for the sink, where i hoped to find fresh water, which was all i needed at the moment. i don't know if i needed a glass or a whole barrel of it, but i definitely needed it. i filled a plastic cup, which was certainly covered in sexually transmitted diseases or questionable fluids, with water. i drank it in two seconds, not even realizing how thirsty i was.

i was about to put the second glass in my mouth when someone spoke up next to me.

— y/n. — someone spoke, and i immediately recognized that voice as more annoying than my algebra teacher. it was nishimura ri-ki, my seatmate. the most annoying person on this planet, universe if you ask me.

— in flesh and blood. — i tried to sound as nonchalant as possible with my answer, certainly failing. ri-ki was not only the most annoying person in the world, but also the most chatty. his soul was like that of a gossipy old lady, always talking. if she even said anything at all, it was only to pick on me.

— i can see my daily rest is over. — he said in a tone that was too sarcastic for my liking. i raised an eyebrow.

— i beg your pardon? who spends all their lessons talking about their lego cars instead of paying attention? — i asked, intrigued. he just laughed, something that wasn't very common in our regular conversations.

— that never happened. — he said resolutely. of course, it never happened. just as it never happened that he almost got kicked out of class for painting his fingernails. it definitely never happened.

— yes, ri-ki, that never happened. — he looked at me strangely, i probably looked crazy. his expression softened, and he quickly walked away with a slight smile.

— enjoy the party.

did nishimura ri-ki just smile at me? not to make fun of me, or laugh at my misfortune? boy, things were different around here. very different. i decided not to make a big deal out of it, i just assumed he was drunk too. i leaned against the bar and looked around, anxious for the time to leave.

i was bored, trying to recognize the faces around me, which by the way were all the same, despite slight changes, like how wonyoung was blonde or how jeno had stopped wearing his glasses. strange. i analyzed every corner of the room, remembering everyone who was there. i knew all the details of their lives, but they didn't even know my surname if they were lucky. if i hadn't become friends with nari, i probably wouldn't even be allowed in here…but god must have blessed me, he knew i'd been through enough humiliation. but it was still a bit of a shame. sitting on a balcony completely alone while everyone else seemed to be having the time of their lives wasn't much fun, nor was it new. it happened almost all the time, especially when i didn't have nari to distract me.

i was about to fall asleep leaning against the fridge when something caught my attention. in a far corner was a large group of boys, probably athletes due to the width of their shoulders. just like everyone else in there, they were getting drunk and definitely laughing out loud at something that shouldn't even be funny. it was a huge group, about 15 guys. i watched each one, fully remembering everyone. they were almost all part of jay, sunghoon and heeseung's group, which, by the way, was the most popular in high school. surprise? i don't think so. it was too clichéd, it felt like i was in a cheap version of high school musical. i'd like to believe that i was gabriella, but deep down i know that i was just an extra in other people's lives.

jesus, even that boy who barely opened his mouth, lee sohee, seemed to be integrating very well into that circle of friends. and soobin... hadn't he been transferred? i needed to catch up on the gossip urgently.

nothing was catching my eye apart from the large hickey on one of their necks, which didn't shock me at all, until i laid eyes on one of them.

suddenly, it felt like an electric charge all over my body, every hair standing on end. my heart, which was already heavy, accelerated to its maximum, bringing me close to a heart attack. it was like losing all the strength in my muscles at once, only not collapsing thanks to the support of the wall behind me. my lungs were deprived of air, causing me to gasp within seconds. it wasn't just any teenager, it was him.

his eyes met mine, and i could have sworn that for the tiniest second, the whole house fell silent. as if all the walls had shrunk and were crushing both my body and my soul. it was really him.

yang jungwon.

even in that dark crowd, i could see his features perfectly. my god, he looked exactly the same. perhaps a little darker, but it was still him. completely him. not an evil twin or a trick of my own mind, it was him. beautiful as always. my heart almost leapt out of my mouth when his smile fell as soon as he noticed me, as if i had sucked up all the happiness. well, i technically did. not at that moment, perhaps, but definitely a year ago, when i disappeared without a trace. when i left him hanging outside my house for hours, while i was already in another city. when i didn't answer any more of his messages. when i literally took his pure heart and shattered it into a thousand pieces.

the eye contact, which made me sick, only lasted a few seconds, as he immediately turned to his friends. but it was enough to make my emotions run wild. the regret of being there only tripled, i was about to throw up. all the memories of my actions were turning my stomach, it felt like i'd drunk a whole barrel of beer.

the world was about to collapse, i needed to get out of there urgently. i rushed outside, disoriented by the huge halls. i didn't even care about bumping into people anymore, i wanted them to fuck off. i just needed some fresh air to free my lungs, which were about to explode. i didn't have asthma, but i was faithfully considering a diagnosis. i ran in as clumsily as possible, narrowly escaping a glass of drink falling on me. don't these people have any manners?

when i finally reached a large balcony, it was as if a weight had been lifted off me. fortunately, i was alone. perfect. i sat down on the small purple sofa, crossed my legs and let myself sink into my thoughts. i was about to have a psychotic break.

yang jungwon, literally the love of my life, had pretended that my existence was null and void after a year without any contact. i mean, morally correct, he did more than he should have. if i had been in his position, i wouldn't even have bothered to look at myself. what was i expecting? a kiss and a bunch of flowers? after all the shit i've done? boy, i was really a fool. fool to believe that he would forgive me, if i didn't even believe it. i just talked myself out of it all year so that the guilt would subside. deep down, i knew i was more guilty than a murderer. and for a year, it was really the only thing i felt. something that consumed me every day in an exhausting way, eating me alive. just thinking about every call denied, every message ignored... my heart shrunk like a helpless animal.

i remember that day for the twentieth time.

it was early in the morning and i was clearly upset and fed up with my life. all i wanted to do was disappear, and so i did. no advance warning, nothing... i just vanished like magic into thin air. i tried to make excuses in my head, but there simply weren't any. i was just an idiot.

i was trapped inside my own head when i felt a hand on my shoulder. i flinched, startled by the sudden movement. i was about to punch person when i realized it was nari, great relief bursting from my lips.

— you’re here! i have been looking for you everywhere!

her face, which until then had been laughing, quickly turned into a sad expression when her eyes met mine. damn, was i that ugly for everyone to change their mood when they looked at me?

she sat down on the sofa next to mine, remaining silent for a few moments, with only the muffled sound of pitbull's "she doesn't mind" echoing in the background. i didn’t knew what to say.

— you saw him, didn't you? — those words came out almost as a whisper, as if she was afraid of my answer. i took a long pause.

— yes, i did.

— are you okay? — she asked calmly.

— i’m fine. — i said harshly. i didn't want to talk about it, because i knew i'd end up in tears. i didn’t want to be seen crying all over school on the first day back. actually, i didn't want to expose my feelings, because i knew that once i started, i'd never stop.

she came closer, enveloping me in a warm hug. god, i loved her hugs.

— you know i'm here for you, don't you? for everything. — she said firmly. i admired her so much.

— i know, nari, and i love you for it. but i'm fine, seriously. — she looked at me again. i knew that look. she felt sorry for me, as if i were someone without any hope. well, maybe i was. the hug lasted a few more seconds before i pulled away from her. the warmth of the hug quickly turned cold, the gentle wind giving me goosebumps. i was so focused on the situation that i didn't even notice it was freezing outside.

— he's in the garden. i saw him a few minutes ago. — and with that comment, she stood up and disappeared back into the crowd.

she knew perfectly well what she was doing, torturing me psychologically. she knew how much i wanted to talk to him, and how much i would fight against my will. if my impulses were faster than my neurons, i'd be out of here by now. but i couldn't, i just couldn't. i wanted it, oh god, i wanted it more than anything. but i couldn't. i just sat there, my ass already sore from sitting there for so long.

time passed and passed, and that thought didn't leave me for a second. i tried everything. i tried creating random couples on the dance floor, i tried counting how many blue plastic cups there were in that house... i really did. but it was swallowing me up.

i couldn't stand it any longer and got up.

fuck this shit.

i passed through the disgusting crowd once again, this time like a real hurricane. i was getting used to it. i ran as if my life depended on it, until i reached the garden.

just as my best friend said, there he was. on his back, leaning against one of the pillars of the house's white façade, watching the sky, which was full of stars. he was obsessed with astronomy. even from the back he was handsome. was that even possible?

once again, my heart began to beat excessively. my hands were shaking more and more with every step i took, my legs were weak. the desire to stay and the desire to flee were fighting each other in a brutal way. i needed to do that. i needed to find an end point. seeing my life flash before me, i leaned against his side.

— hi.

my voice came out trembling. i didn't dare look at him, but i could feel his eyes watching me, burning my face like lasers. i waited for an answer, but nothing came out of his mouth, as expected.

he took a packet out of his jeans pocket and took out a cigarette, lighting it in front of me. the act surprised me a little, as the jungwon i knew was the biggest hater of smokers. he was acting as if i wasn't even there. childish, but i couldn't judge him.

— ignorance game, got it. — i said it without thinking twice.

he let the air out of his lungs with extreme ease. the disgusting smell quickly reached my nostrils, making my nose twitch.

— i thought you liked that game. — ouch. the ease with which those words came out of his mouth hit me like a sharp knife. who was that and what had happened to my jungwon?

— i don’t.

— well…— he paused. —…i guess i was wrong.

— you are wrong about many things. — i attacked.

i was expecting a reaction, but all i heard was his laughter. even though i wasn't looking at him, i could picture his dimples perfectly.

— thank god that’s something that we both agree. — i didn't understand his metaphor.

silence quickly filled the garden again.

various things were going through my head, but no words seemed good enough to say out loud. i just wanted to end it once and for all. i turned to him, finally seeing his handsome figure, and then, at the speed of light, i let words slip out. i spoke so fast at that moment that i could easily be considered eminem's daughter.

— look, jungwon im sorry. i never meant to hurt y….

— stop. — his rough voice echoed at a higher volume, cutting off my speech in a harsh manner.

i tried again.

— no, let me apologize, i’m really sorr….

— i don’t need your apology for shit. — oh. he used a curse word. yang rarely used cuss words like that, it was a warning. he was pissed. i was fucked.

— i can explain, please…

— your explanation date has expired. — he just kept cutting off my hopes, one by one.

— please, just hear me! — the desperation was noticeable in my tone.

i was sure that if someone were watching this scene, they'd laugh at me. i was making a fool of myself. i looked like i'd gone back to the age of 5 and was asking my mother for ice cream in the supermarket. how pathetic.

— i’d rather be deaf than listen to your voice again. get the fuck out of here. — he was definitely losing patience. but i couldn't give up. each insult hurt me more.

— no jungwon, please, listen to me just for a second. — i was ready to kneel in front of him and kiss his feet. maybe i'd be stoned in a public square for my sins. i just needed him to listen to me, just once.

— if you dont go i will. — he gave me an ultimatum.

i wasn't going anywhere.

i stood there, about a meter away from him, static. i wasn't going to leave, not again.

realizing that i wasn't going to disappear from his sight, he just shook his head, turned on his heels and headed into the house. the roles were reversed. it would be comical if it weren't tragic.

my blood boiled. why the fuck was he being like this? i could feel the anxiety and fear being filled with anger. i was getting sick of it.

— so, its that? you just run from your problems? — i screamed with all my will, hoping it would reach his ears in the middle of all the noise.

he instantly stopped. it definitely hit him.

i saw his silhouette turn. he approached me slowly, without saying anything. i trembled completely. he seemed to be struggling with his own thoughts.

— who the fuck do you think you are? — it came out almost as a whisper. a gentle breeze that reached me like a hurricane.

i felt my insides squirm.

— excuse me? — i said, not believing it. i felt so tiny next to him.

— you heard what i said. — if looks could kill, i'd already be decomposing.

— who the actual fuck you think you are? do you think you are that important to come to this party wich, by the way, you werent even invited, and just decide that i exist again?

— you always existed to me.

— stop. im sick of your bullshit. — the only one who was sick there was me. i wanted to throw up.

— it’s not bullshit, i swear.

— oh really? thats not what it looked like in the last 12 months. — it was as if i had ripped the entire vocabulary out of my mind with that sentence. i didn't know what to say. i only could utter apologies.

— look, i’m so sorry, i didn’t meant to. i’m so sorry, i shouldn't have done that.

— no, you did the right thing. it made me realize who you really were. they only thing you shouldn’t had did was come back here.

i could feel the tears threatening to come out.

— i was very unhappy with myself, you can't imagine. i had family and addiction problems, all i wanted to do was get away from this place...i was losing my mind.

he laughed evilly.

— and you still have the nerve to accuse me of running away from my problems? i've realized what you are.

— what am i….?

— a fucking psycho. what did you think, hm? that you would come back and i would see you and your pretty face and run away to your arms? no y/n, im sorry to break your little fantasy, but that is not happening. im not doing this again. — he raised his voice, practically screaming at me. i could see how angry he was.

— you have to believe me, i never had the intentions….

— imagine if you had. — he laughed at his own joke. it was driving me crazy.

— i’m being serious jungwon, i never meant to hurt y…

— gosh you are so annoying! — he finally exploded. — for god’s sake! can’t you just take responsability for your actions and stop acting like a twelve years old for a moment in your life? stop trying to find excuses to it, just stop!

— i was stressed, okay?! my life was falling apart, i needed to go! — i was screaming too without even realizing it.

— right, how convenient of you.

fucker.

— you know what? it's not because your life is perfect that others have it too. it's not my fault that i wasn't born into the same world as spoiled rich people like you.

— my life is not perfect. — he shot back.

— oh really? i'm sorry, your life must be really bad for your only concern to be which car you're going to choose for your 18th birthday. i’m really sorry, it must be really hard for you, poor jungwon.

i vividly remember all the moments when i realized that yang and i were from different realities. like when he went to school by private car while i had to wake up every day at 5am to catch the bus, or when his bedroom was twice the size of my entire house. i always felt bad about it, even though he said it wouldn't change anything in our relationship. and it was true. but still, i felt bad everytime i stepped into that house. that seemed to move him. he briefly paused the discussion.

— yea, my life is fucking perfect. my mother died in a car accident three months ago and my family's company is close to bankruptcy. but you're right, my life is perfect.

i froze. i could feel his voice trembling. my god, poor jungwon. he loved his mother more than anything. mrs. yang was the sweetest person i knew, not counting her son. how come i didn't get this news? oh my god.

— i’m so sorry, i didn’t kn….

— that’s exactly your fucking problem! you didn’t knew! you didn’t even care to know! — he was in pain. he had every right to.

— don’t say that, i always cared about you!

— no the fuck you don’t, you only care about yourself. when things don't go your way, you cry like a baby. this is not a fairy tale, y/n!

my fist itched to punch him. he was being so cruel. but was he lying? no. i really was childish. there was nothing i hated more than not having my plans the way i wanted them to be, i lose a neuron every time something goes backfired.

— i’m telling you, i was in trouble. how many times do i have to repeat? — i was getting tired of screaming. my voice was already getting hoarse.

— and that’s how you deal with your shit?! you just run away without thinking about others? wow — he started clapping at me. — how empathetic of you.

— you wouldn’t understand me, i was afraid of telling you…— no i wasn’t. i just simply didn’t want to. i didn’t wanted to bother.

— i was your fucking boyfriend! that’s what we are supposed to do, be there for each other no matter what!

he couldn't get enough.

— i know it, i know you were! — i approached him, hoping to find some forgiveness in his eyes. but nothing, nothing but hatred.

— you’re right, i was there for everything. and if i wasn’t, was because you didn’t wanted me to. now let me ask, y/n. — he paused. — when was the last time that you were there for me?

he asked me the rhetorical question, remaining silent for a few seconds. — ‘cause if i can remember, you left me at my worst.

i had a lump in my throat. i could think of nothing. i couldn't do this for much longer. i was as fragile as a glass vase, about to break at any moment.

— i am so, so sorry. there hasn't been a day when i haven't thought about the shit i've done. please, i'm so sorry…— i grabbed his hand, hoping to find some sign of life in that dead love, some hope. but nothing, absolutely nothing. it was empty.

he stared at me for a few seconds, as if he were studying me. god... those eyes. they were the death of me. i kept stroking his hand, seeking warmth in the midst of his coldness.

for a moment, i could have sworn that something inside him changed, as if he had softened.

i was beginning to believe that his next move would be a kiss because of the way he approached me. i could hear my heart beating as loudly as the jbl speakers at the party. had i succeeded? had this story come to an end?

he let go of my hand.

— well, i hope that haunts you for the rest of your life. i hope it's on your mind every second, minute, hour, month, year, decade. i hope it torments you so much that it drives you insane. i hope you never forgive yourself, just as i don't. ever.

as always, all my expectations were violently snatched away from me by fate.

i was about to fall off the cliff, i mean, to be thrown off it.

— jungwon, it is not that deep. — the words came out of my mouth faster than my mind would let them. like a bucket of cold water, they fell on him like sharp knives.

his eyes filled with tears. i had hit rock bottom.

— not that deep, you said. — his voice broke. — y/n, i i loved you. did you even realize that? — he paused again. i was fighting back tears.

— i loved you with every bone, muscle and cell in my heart. i loved you with all my strength. i loved all your traits, both physical and psychological, even the ones you hated. i loved your fucking sensitive and stubborn personality. i loved your laugh and also the hilarious way you cry. i loved the way you tie your cords and the way you eat cereal in the morning. i loved you drunk, drugged, crying, sleepy and sick. i loved you from the moment i first saw you in the library. i loved you with my whole soul. and all you managed to do was kill that love.

tears rolled down his face like a real ocean, his face was red. even in that state he was the most beautiful boy i had ever seen. i didn't look any different, i had surrendered to my sadness from the moment he said the first three words. it was hurting me so much, more than any physical pain i've ever felt. not even breaking my leg in fourth grade made me cry so much.

— i loved you too, i loved you so much. — i confesed. i used to love him so much.

i still did.

he was the first and only boy i truly loved, with all my heart. he was the first boy i trusted with my body, my trust, my soul. he was the love of my life, but perhaps not the love for my life.

— no, you didn’t. because when you love someone, you don't do shit that hurts them. ever. and that's the only thing you knew how to do. — he was totally sobbing. we were like two children fighting over a toy.

— please, i know i hurted you, let me reward you. we can fix this, we can if we want…— i was so desperate. i couldn't let him go, i just couldn't.

he took a step back. shit.

— that’s the thing, i don’t want to. i never want to have anything to do with you again. i don't want to be near you, to breathe, to talk. i don't even want to exist in the same place as you never again in my life. do you hear me? i will ensure that your existence is as significant as an ant.

i felt like i'd just been hit in the back of the head with a brick. my vision was blurred, i was dizzy, helpless. my make-up was smeared and my hair was tangled.

it felt like my whole life had been sucked out of me.

it wasn't happening, it wasn't. it couldn't be happening. it had to be some kind of prank. the tears came out of me automatically, i almost drowned in them.

— now, do me and everyone in this town a favor and disappear. again.

and with that, he turned his back on me and went into the mansion.

— but i still love you. — i yelled one last time.

he stopped, and turned his head.

— that is your problem.

55 notes · View notes

colectingstrz · 10 months

Text

CANT FEEL MY FACE ఌ

Soo’s smol noety 📝 : fun fact I wrote this whole thing in a positive mood with a smile on my face I love angst and heart breaking gut wrenching endings \(^ヮ^)/

Warnings : character death

“And I know she’ll be the death of me, At least we’ll both be numb“

jungwon can’t help but feel the urge to rip into your neck every time he comes over to Sunghoon’s and sees you..he always tries his best to suppress his hunger and feelings. Or in which blinded by your feelings and fascination with the supernatural you prompt jungwon to bite you.

“And she’ll always get the best of me, The worst is yet to come”

YOUR ANNOYING BROTHER continues to boss you around like your some housewife or a maid when you are a resident of the home.

He’s so annoying

You sigh as you perform an errand for one of Sunghoon's similarly annoying ass friends for the eighth time. While looking through the refrigerator, you sense a presence behind you. A gust of wind causes the hairs on your neck to stand up. You instantly turn around to meet the gaze of your favourite feline eyes

Jungwon just the man I wanted to see

“ oh! Hi jungwon what brings you here ?” He approached you slowly reaching over you grabbing a few coke cans “ felt a bit bad for you wanted to help you out a bit I’ll take the rest don’t worry” he speaks while taking the other cans out of your spare hand. It’s giving gentleman you smiled to yourself at his actions letting the delusions in your head win the more he acted like this towards you.

Before jungwon could turn and leave you tug on his shirt a little causing him to raise a brow “ do you like me ?”

Jungwon chokes on his salvia after hearing your words, the impact almost causing him to drop a can. You can tell he's surprised, but you calmly wait for him to respond. Jungwon couldn't form a sentence because his mind was filled by echoes of how fast your heart was beating and how blood surged through your veins. He couldn't concentrate since your aroma was getting stronger and stronger. It was almost as if it was calling his name, inviting him in to indulge in you.

He needed to leave

What’s taking him so long ? “Are you so infatuated with me that you can't take your gaze away from me? "Is my beauty so powerful that you cannot discern by a simple yes or no?" Jungwon gulped excessively before turning aside and fleeing. Ouch..Not only did he reject me, but he also fled.

You sigh and storm upstairs into your room, slamming the door shut. When you got to your bed, you burried your face in your pillows, yelling and screaming for embarrassing yourself in front of your crush. "what is wrong with me, why did I do that y/n your so foolish" you groan and begin lightly slapping yourself on the forehead "he's not into me at all... was I interpreting all the indications incorrectly? He was most likely simply being nice... he's nice to everyone."

You sigh

Jungwon on the other hand , had excused himself to the toilet to collect his thoughts. When he looked in the mirror, he was afraid of how red his eyes were, the evil persona consuming his features. He despised himself for feeling this way, especially towards his best friends little sister and, most significantly, towards you. He really liked you, but his feelings just made his hunger and yearning for you worse; it's as if the urges were amplified only because of how he felt about you. But he couldn't help but go out of his way to be near you because he thought if he could live off your scent and company, he'd be OK, but in reality it simply made him want more…it simply made him want to just suck your blood which is the last thing he'd want.

He doesn't want to hurt you..

Jungwon sighed, spraying ice cold water from the tap on his face to try to chill himself down. He sighed as he gazed up one last time to watch the red colour fade.

“ just hang out with the guys and keep a distance from her and I should be fine for the night “

Just as he is about to leave the bathroom He comes face to face with you. He could tell by your crimson cheeks, wet eyes, and tear stained face that you had been crying and he hated that it was because of him. You hastily clean your face, not wanting Jungwon to see you in this state. "What?" you ask, giving him an irritated look. Jungwon doesn't say anything and simply stares at you. His mouth opens and closes, but nothing but small noises come out, and he has no idea what to say to you except bite you.

You groan, pulling him into the bathroom and closing the door behind you. " y/n w-what are you doing open the door?" you shakyour head, "not until you explain yourself to me.." "What?" said Jungwon, raising his brow. Don't act stupid, it's not a cute look on you. “You act one way with me, being so kind and compassionate, and then you act as if I'm invisible. You act as if you like me, but then you don't. What exactly is it because I despise these mixed Signals " Jungwon gives you a blank stare, the sight making you regret not neglecting your bladder and going to the toilet that evening

You take a step closer to him, and he takes one back you both Repeat the process until you have him trapped against the frigid restroom walls. "See you doing it again?" jungwon gulps trying to suppress the urge to pounce on you “It's as if I'm a disease and you don't want anything to do with me!" Jungwon motions with his hands, "no no.. it's not like that at all y/n" "then what is it like, Jungwon?" He sighs looking down and fiddling with his fingers "You just make me nervous sometimes, like..." he sighs. I can't be myself around you " (cuz I’m a vampire and I want to suck your blood everytikeI see you ) “I’m not going to have any cheesy sobby confessionals chats with you just say it weather you like me or not that’s all I need from you” let me down easy if that’s the case..

Your words causing jungwon to chuckle it’s one of the things he liked about you a lot. He admired how straight to the point you were about the things you wanted “ I like you y/n”

You can’t stop the smile that graces your face the sight causing a blush to creep onto jungwons face as he looks at you eagerly wating for what you were going to say next as well as how he was eager to (sink his fangs onto your exposed neck) Your cheeks start to hurt from how happy you are right now to now know jungown feels the same way .

Not caring if he was your brothers bestie or not you make a bold and risky move a choice for yourself only.

You wrap your arms around his neck tip toeing so you could reach. Pulling him into a deep kiss. Jungwon was taken a back the voices in his head telling him to pull away as being this close to you was dangerous but he couldn’t help himself he’s been craving your touch for so long.Jungwon wastes no time hungrily kissing you back wrapping his hands around your waist pulling you closer to him so your bodies could morph into one another. Jungwon was on a high right now he couldn’t control his own body. He unknowingly found him self nibbling a little at yout lip the impact of this teeth causing you to whimper a little

Regardless jungwon continued eager to hear you again “you sound so beautiful “ he mutters into the kiss nibbling at your lips once again eventually causing your lip to bleed

Oh no

Quickly jungwon pushed you away turning himself away form you. Not wanting you to see his face his fangs his bloodshot eyes.

What the hell?

"Um, Jungwon? "What was that about?" you tap his shoulder, but he turns away from you, "hey!" You continue to tap his back aggressively, but he doesn't budge. "jungwon.. are you okay?" he finally responds, "I'm f-fine," he squeezes out with a horse tone. You try to approach him but he hides his face with his hands "jungwon look at me " he shakes his head you sigh taking matters into your own hands grazing his slender ones with your nails causing him to shriek in pain allowing you to catch a sneak glance of his face

What the fuck what the fuck what the fucking fuck fuck fuck

you step back “ why..your..f-face” you take another step back as jungwon slowly makes eye contact with you “ y/n wait I can explain..” he moves towards you and you take another back just like before with the roles reversed “ no! y-you stay right there “ jungwon obeys “ y/n I- “ your a vampire aren’t you.. “ jungwon slowly nods “ and were you going to…kill me ?” jungwon shakes his head “ no I would never dream of hurting you.. I’ve been trying… trying so hard to suppress it I didn’t mean to bite your lip!” He speaks just rambling at you trying his best to convince you.

You pause for a moment to reflect. Vampires exist, and Jungwon is one. He has sharp fangs, red eyes, and an ominous aura, just like in the tv shows..

I should be running away but I don’t want to leave

You've been invested in the supernatural for years, regardless of whether your bother believes in it or not. Sunghoon often criticised you for it, saying it was only legends and myths, but you knew it had to be true. And here is jungwon right now, confirming everything. You know you should be cautious because he has just shown himself almost losing control, but your intuition was telling you to stay. You allowed your imagination and infatuation with such creatures and your pinning for jungwon to overpower your critical thinking.

“ bite me “ jungwon gives you a shocked look “ what no I’m not going to do that to you I don’t want to hurt you “ you shake your head “ I’m giving you my permission “ he shakes his head again turning away. Your met with the sight of his broad shoulders once again, you walk towards him forcing his body to turn to you. “ I know you won’t go to far it’s fine really.. i want the experience jungwon “ you speak with exhilaration lacing your tounge. “ no” you raise your hands to cup his face forcing him to look at you “ please.. let me help you use me jungwon ”

You had no idea where this sudden need to have your blood drawn came from, but the want grew the more and more jungwon told you no. Plus, you liked him so much that you were willing to let him have it even though you knew it would hurt.

Jungwon shook his head sighing in frustration. He was having an internal battle with himself and the vampire inside of him. It was getting harder to hold back he needed you to leave before it was too late “ y/n get out” he spoke harshly hoping his tone would scare you off but to his surprise you didn’t flinch or move an inch. “ you can’t make me” jungwon sighed again. “ please.. I’m trying so hard right now not to make a decision I’ll regret please just leave “

Why won’t you let me help you

You took his hand and trailed it down to your neck, "come on.. I know you want to." Jungwon shook his head, "stop it." You spoke again taunting him "all this just here fresh just for you to take..I’m yours," you said, coming closer and angling your neck in his way.

“ I’m warning you y/n” you smirked continuing to taunt him “ suck me dry until I can’t walk “ jungwon pushed you away. “ leave.. I don’t think I would ever forgive myself if I hurt you “ “ but you won’t.. just take a little bit of my blood I can tell you need it “ jungwons red eyes looked at you and flickered to your neck “ don’t make a decision just because it’s me “ you shake your head “ what if I want to do it for you.. I want to help you and if that means sacrificing my self a little… then I’m willing to do so I trust you “

Jungwon paused for a moment to reflect. Trying one final time to break out of it. " Jungwon, you're free to take me, I'm yours," you said, he looked into your eyes caressing your neck, "mine?" you nodded.

“ try not to scream love”

Jungwon had plunged his fangs into your neck before you could speak again. You shrieked in agony, clutching your hands and pulling on his hair. The anguish was awful; it felt as if your life was being drained from you by two tiny needles. But you kept it up for him. You tried not to scream so that the others wouldn't hear but it hurt so badly. Jungwon had to put his hand over your mouth.

Jungwon was unable to stop himself from leaving. He had been repressing himself all this time, but now that he had a taste of you, all he wanted was more. His grasp on your hip tightened as his fangs grew deeper. Eventually, the pain went away, and you felt numb, but in a nice manner. You felt strange for loving it, but after a while you began to like the agony, the way his nails clawed your sides, you didn't want him to stop.

Jungwon eventually backed away. wiping your blood off his soiled lips. He gazed at you, bewildered, with the mess on your neck. And lost in your dazed state His contentment tinged with slight remorse. He touched your cheek immediately "are you okay I'm so sorry I almost lost myself there I-" that's..f-fine I liked it " you whispered your dazed eyes meeting his scarlet red ones " you did?" "It tickles," you said faintly, resting your head on his palm.

Jungwon smiled softly and drew you into his chest. He could see you were fatigued because of how much blood he drank, so he did his best to nurse you back to health.

“She told me don’t worry about it she told me don’t worry no more”

YOUR MOOD WAS DISTURBING. Specifically to Sunghoon, who seemed to despise the idea that his sister was happy and smiling, constantly reminding you that your grin was unattractive. But you didn’t care so here you are now sitting on your bed, staring at the ceiling. Prior to the events of four days ago, you were ecstatic. Jungwon not only liked you back, but he was also a vampire, so it's like you got two in one: the boy you liked and your otherworldly fantasies. You felt like you were fetishizing him because he was a vampire, but your affections for him outweighed any possibility of that being the case after all you loved jungwon before he showed his true self.

Since then you had been covering the bite mark with clothes scarfs and foundation until it eventually healed not wanting any questions and to out him. Sometimes your run your fingers over the spot having flashbacks of the moment the thought causing a slight blush to rinse your cheeks even tho he was technically eating you in a way it felt so intimate that you couldn’t help but blush every time it crossed your mind.

You snap out of your thoughts when you what a knock on your door “ who is it ?” “ jungwon” you jumped up so fast taking on last look in the mirror adjusting your hair even pulling your skirt up a little higher so he can get a peak at your legs. Gosh this is too slutty isn’t it ? I should change “ one minute !” You yell quickly finding some joggers to put on before opening the door

“ hi” you say with a bright smile to which jungwon returns one back “ can I come in?” You nodd dragging him in “ soooo vampy how did my blood taste ?” Jungwon blushes slightly scratching the back of his neck “ why are you asking me all of a sudden “ you shrug “ just curious how I taste I guess “ he nodds “ you tasted good.. really good “ you smirk

“ you know if my bother were to walk in and hear that it would give him the wrong idea “ you speak wiggling your eye brows to which jungwon gasps launching a pillow at you “ your so dirty minded aren’t you.. you and I both know I ment your blood “ you shrug moving closer to him “ I know just a thought “ he laughs at your words

You sigh resting your head on his shoulder while his arm welcomed you in “ I like this a lot you know just being around you like this “ jungwon humms “ yeah I want to be like this with you forever “ you look up and him giving him a small smile “me too” even tho I’ll eventually grow old and die while you would stay here..

it continued on like this for some time with you and jungwon spending more and more time together now that he had revealed himself to you he felt way more comfortable. And you were just happy to be around with him his company made your day.

Though it wasn’t all sunshine’s and rainbows for jungwon as ever since he got a taste he wanted more every time you would be close with him like when you would cuddle he felt himself kissing your neck and felt his his fangs pooping out one time to the point he had to stop cuddling for a while. It was worse now that he knew what you tasted like. he didn’t know how long he could ignore it until it consumed him.

And on the other hand he was drowning in guilt for liking you touching you, biting you and just being with you behind his best friends back. He hated himself for it but he couldn’t deny his feelings and his urges for you

Later on you go to the kitchen to get some snacks “What's up with you and Jungwon?" Jake inquired, and you shrugged. "nothing? " We're just hanging around, why?" he hummus. "I'm not sure, I'm just sensing vibes, if you know what I mean," he teased you.

“ there’s no vibes just 2 friends “ he copied your tone “ who like eacother “ You shoot jake a glance and he crosses his arms “ im not silly like the rest of them im quite observant “ should I just lie? Or tell him the truth

Nauur I’ma lie I ain’t telling you shit Jake

“ yeah as friends ?” He takes a step closer to you basically trapping you against the kitchen counter in the corner so your no longer seen “ he’s marked you.. as his own.. I know it all “ marked ? Wait what..just play dumb “ huh? Marked I don’t get it Jake what do you mean? jungwon is just my friend your being weird “ he rolled his eyes placing his thumb on the area which once showcased jungwons bite mark “ this here is where he bit you didn’t he? He marked you in the process I know what he is y/n”

Your eyes widen in shock is it possible that Jake could be..? “ yes I’m a vampire “

As soon as he spoke was the same speed it took for him to grab you and take you to your room locking the door.

Shit..vampires and thier super speed

“ j-Jake what are you going “

“Shut up”

Jake wasted no time in pinning you against your door's wall and sunk his fangs into the other side of your neck. It felt like he was ripping you apart, unlike Jungwons.

You yelled in anguish, and he covered your mouth with his enormous palm, and muffled a tiny shut up, and continued to feast on your neck.You attempted to hit him, but it was futile since you felt yourself becoming weaker and weaker.Jake finally let go, looking at your drained body one last time with a Smirk on his face and he raced out the window, leaving your frial body on the floor.

Help me..jungwon

As jungwon had marked you he could sense your weakness and hear your calling to him. He quickly dismissed his friends and hurried to your room, attempting to enter the door but finding it locked. This only increased his fear of what might happen if he didn't get to you immediately.

So jungwon made his way from the window Jake had gone out through only to discover your pale body on the floor and instantly went up to you holding your body in his arms "Y/n.. please wake up.. please " your eyes were partially open you didn't have enough strength to open them wide but it was enough for you to recognise him" don’t...worry" jungwon clutched your face "how can I not your body is so weak I'm struggling to hear your heart beat" he panics not knowing what to do "l..leave me " jungown shakes his head.

You hated to see him in the pain the sight completely broke you this isn’t how you wanted to die you didn’t want to die.. but you felt yourself letting go “no.. I’m not going to let you die y/n I have to turn you” you shake your head. I don’t want to be a vampire “ no.. it’s f-fine don’t worry.. “ jungwon finnaly lets out all the tears he was holding in letting him self cry into your body “ your going to d-die.. I don’t want you to d-die” “ please don’t leave me..” he spoke shaking his head and now holding your hand in his rubbing your thumb

“ I’m not.. I’m..not l-leaving you “ he shakes his head again “ I’m here for enterity I’m never going to see you again.. I have to turn you now” you use the last of your strength to hold his check and stoke it softly “ you can live without me.. stop worrying about me I’m going to die you don’t have to worry about me no more”

Jungwon refused to accept the truth. He didn't want it and wouldn't accept it. He had to be with you because he couldn't go on living knowing he'd never see you, hear your voice, or touch you again. He knew you didn't want to be like him and drink blood as you had to previously had a conversation about the topic before , but he had no choice. Jungwon wasted no time in biting into his wrist, allowing himself to bleed and shoving his blood down your throat in the hopes of starting the transition. He was hoping and pleading for it to succeed.

However, as he removed his hand, your body showed no sighs of response, your eyes remained closed, your body did not move, and he could no longer hear your heart beat."No..no y/n don't leave me..please," he said, shaking your body, but you didn't respond.Jungown clutched your body in his arms, unconcerned about who heard him as he cried out in pain. His happiness had been stolen from him, and he would have to live with it for the rest of his life alone.

Without you

Jungwon was technically dead, but for the first time in his many years of life, he felt as if he had genuinely died.

@ COPYRIGHTS SOOTREEPEAR 2023

𖤐steal my work and I’ll come to your house and suck your blood like Jake 🧛‍♀️ did lmao

𖤐authors notes and dat 📝 pt.2 : so yeah unfortunately y/n died sadly and jungwon will be alone for ever😧 it is what is is ig 😭 sorry for a sad ending It was actually written to have a positive ending but somehow I just changed my mind 🙃 oh well aniii ways I hope you enjoyed it ~ !!!

- peace and love ♡︎

𖤐 link to my other works !!

#jungwon #jungwon x reader #jungwon x you #jungwon x y/n #jungwon x female reader #jungwon enhypen #jungwon enha #jungwon fanfic #jungwon imagines #jungwon au #enhypen fanfiction #enhypen imagines #enhypen #enha #enhypen x reader #enhypen scenarios #enha x reader #jungwon angst #sootreepear

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