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#i was just thinking like. god i wish i was able to get eyes on everything and sign off on it before it goes out. this is ridiculous
intoanotherworld23 · 2 days
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Take My Heart
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Summary: Working as a waitress in one of the most popular night clubs in the city seemed like a breeze. Then you’re asked to work the infamous dark rooms where you meet the owners, and you catch the eye of one of them, Joel Miller, whose one of the most feared men and rules the city
Pairings: Reader x Joel Miller
Warnings: cursing, mention of sex, mention of sex toys, drinking, and mention of drugs
A/N: If anyone wishes to create a banner for me for this series I would greatly appreciate it, and of course you will be given full credit for it! Message me if you are able to do so! Thank you so much everyone and enjoy! XOXO
Hall Of Hunks
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"Your late." The bartender Eric nagged as soon as you walked over to the register to clock in for the night. "Again."
"Yeah yeah I know." Waving him off as he laughed at you.
"How do you manage to be late all the time when you live just down the block?" Raising an eyebrow at you.
"You think this makes a lot of tips looking like one of the undead?" Motioning your pointer finger around your face.
"I don't think the guys are really looking at your face babe."
"Well this helps too." Pushing your boobs up for emphasis.
"How you are still single is baffling to me." His words holding more meaning than what you realized.
Dressing provocatively was a part of the job. Hiring pretty girls showing off their bodies to a bunch of drunk and horny men was how the club stayed so successful. Granted a lot of clubs were like that, but there was something about this club that was different. Something this club offered to their guests that kept them flocking in.
It was called the dark rooms. Watching as different girls were pulled into one of the rooms men leaving with satisfied looks on their faces. All you were told was that their VIP's hung out there, but you had a very good idea as to what happened behind those black curtains.
Throwing your purse behind the bar where you usually kept it knowing it would be well looked after. Not that you had much money or anything for anyone to steal. None the less it still was money to you.
The club was incredibly packed tonight, and you knew the tips were going to be amazing. It wasn't just exactly an ideal job, but being a bottle service girl was about as good as you were going to get. You didn't have any family or friends so you didn't have anyone to turn to.
"You don't think she'll be pissed do you?" Now actually starting to worry this time she wouldn't be nice.
"Nah I think you'll be fine."
"God I hope so my rent is due this week so I need the money."
Even though you didn't have the best apartment it was better than nothing, and unfortunately it was also an expensive one. It was better than nothing at this point.
"You're lucky she likes you."
"Ya know when you're perfect." Sending a cocky wink over to him as he shook the mixer over his shoulder.
"Oh yeah what would we do without you." He sarcastically spoke.
"Oh shut the fuck up Eric you wish you were like me." Flipping your hair back over your shoulder with a grin.
"Get to work before you actually get in trouble this time." Throwing a dirty rag at you causing you to burst into laughter.
Walking by the crowded tables as you headed into your bosses office to let her know you were finally here. Hoping that this time she wouldn't be actually mad at you since you really needed the money.
"Beth." Knocking lightly on the cracked door to see her sitting there typing away on the computer. "Hiya."
"Don't even try it." Looking up from the computer with a straight face.
Bowing your head as you awkwardly stood there with your hands behind your back. It was like your parent had just caught you doing something you shouldn't have, and you didn't know what was about to happen.
"I'm sorry."
"Of all nights you had to be late again." Standing up from her chair walking over to you.
"I'm sorry I took longer than what I thought." Apologizing again more sincere this time.
"You know how important tonight is for me."
"What's happening tonight?" Scrunching your brows.
"The owners are coming here." Answering bewildered that you didn't know. "So everything has to be perfect."
That explains her behavior the past couple of weeks, and why she had been frantically running around the club stressing over small things that she never did before.
"The owners?"
"Yes the owners. The ones who own this fucking club." Running a hand through her hair frantically. "The Miller Brothers. Tommy and Joel Miller."
"Never heard of em."
"They're powerful men in this city. Nobody fucks with them." It sounded more like a warning to you.
"They don't sound that scary to me." Crossing your arms across your chest.
"God you're so lucky you're pretty." She scoffed as she walked back over to her desk.
As she sat back down you took that as he way of dismissing you. Turning back to the door about to head out when her words stopped you in your tracks.
"Oh you'll be working the dark rooms tonight. One of the girls called in sick so I need you to cover for her."
"What?" Eyes wide open now. "But I've never worked the dark rooms before. I don't know what to do."
"You don't have to do anything you don't want to do." She reassured you as you took a sigh of relief. "Just know that men pay very good money to have a pretty thing to wrap their arm around."
You knew exactly what kinds of sinful acts took place in the dark rooms, and the thought of some sleazy businessman paying you for sexual favors made your skin crawl. That wasn't the kind of thing you did or would put yourself through.
"What if they force me?"
"That's why we have security and cameras to make sure the girls stay safe."
"Why can't you ask one of the other girls?" Asking her in hopes she might ask someone else.
"Because they aren't as attractive as you."
"What if I don't want to work the dark rooms?"
"Then you better start looking for another job." Her tone serious and her eyes scowling at you that she wasn't playing around.
The two of you staring at each other as you contemplated whether this job was worth it or not. You could use some extra cash, but the thought of one of those men touching you against your will made your stomach churn. She did tell you that you didn't have to do anything you didn't want to, but then you'd be missing out on a lot of money.
It was like being stuck between a rock and a hard place. Having an angel on one shoulder, and the devil on the other. This would just be a one time thing though. So maybe it wouldn't be as horrible as you thought.
"Okay I'll do it." She smiled upon hearing that.
"Good. Go find Kara and she'll give you the rundown of everything."
Not saying anything else you simply nodded and took your leave. Your heart was racing and your palm was sweating already feeling nervous about what could happen tonight. Things could go smoothly or they could be a nightmare. Either way you just wanted this night to be over.
Looking around the club for Kara. Trying to spot her wild curly red hair through the sea of people. Finally spotting her talking to a group of men at a table. Flashing her pretty smile and placing a hand on their arms clearly trying to get a bigger tip.
Kara had been here longer than anyone else, and knew how to work her charm on the customers. She had also worked the dark room more than anyone else either. So you knew that she was making good money.
You'd exchanged conversation with her from time to time, but never really got close with her. She was friendly enough, but you knew she wasn't in this job to make friends, but make a shit load of money.
"Hey Kara." Shouting her name as she turned around to see who called her name. "I'm working the dark rooms tonight and Beth said you'd help me."
"Perfect follow me." Showing off her whitened teeth as she headed up the stairs you following right behind her.
"So you're working the dark rooms tonight huh?" She sounded almost amused when she asked.
"Yeah I guess so."
"Do you even know what happens in the dark rooms?" Stopping at the top to face you.
"I have a pretty good idea what happens." Your response making her grin.
She could tell just by looking at you that you were like a scared little bunny. Just the thought of going into one of these rooms petrified you. Let alone a man requesting you to stay in the rooms.
"There are different kind of rooms." Stating as you now stood in the hallway noticing some had curtains for doors. "Some rooms have dance poles. Some rooms just have large couches for relaxing, and some rooms have toys in them."
"Toys?"
"Yeah ya know sex toys and all that." Jesus Christ this place was much darker than what you thought.
"Then there's the VIP room." Standing in front of a deep and dark red double door. "Only the owners can access this room. They have it locked at all times, and they each have a key."
"What kind of men are these guys?" Asking her but not really asking her.
"The kind of men women want to be with and the type that men are scared of."
"Have you ever met them?"
"Yeah I did once." Reminiscing about the time they came in and you could practically see the drool coming out of her mouth. "Joel doesn't ever request any of the girls."
"Why not?"
"It's not really his thing." The two of you heading back down to the stairs. "Besides that man never has had to pay for sex."
"Right."
"So what exactly all do I need to do?" Asking her as you started to walk back down the hall.
"All you gotta do is smile and look pretty." That didn't sound too hard to do. "Bigger tips if you sit on their lap and let them touch you by the way."
Never mind.
You didn't know whether to take her words as a warning or not. The way she said it made it sound like that man always gets what he wants no matter what. The thought of meeting this man had your stomach churning.
Staring at yourself in the mirror trying to compose yourself as time was getting closer. Taking a shot of tequila to calm your nerves just a little bit. For all you know these could be incredible dangerous men, and your about to walk right into the lions den.
Maybe they wouldn't take a second look at you and leave you all alone. That was wishful thinking though considering these men were powerful and some of them were owners. It would be in your best interest to not say no to these men.
"Y/N let's go, there here."
Your stomach was doing somersaults now. Palms were starting to sweat, and your heart was beating so fast you could hear it in your ears. There wasn't any chance you'd be able to slip out of there. You were just gonna have to suck it up, and get the night over with.
Maybe it would be a piece of cake, and the night would be over before you know it.
"Here bring them this bottle." Eric handing you a tray that had shot glasses and a bottle of very expensive tequila as you walked past the bar.
"I didn't even know we had this here." Examining the chic looking bottle like you were holding diamonds.
"Nobody else can order that except them." Pouring liquor into a martini glass. "You better get moving they don't like to be kept waiting."
"Which room are they in?"
"First room on your left." Nodding as he gave you an encouraging smile.
Trying your best to not trip or drop the glass as you cautiously walked up the stairs to the rooms. Not knowing exactly how many men were going to be in this room.
As you approached the room you could already hear deep voices talking. Sounding like there were multiple men in there. Noticing there was four shot glasses which suggested to you that there was four men. Which wasn't too bad you've dealt with almost triple the amount of men before.
"There she is." A voice boomed as soon as you stood in the doorway.
"Where's the other girl?" Not knowing who said that as your eyes were focused on the ground.
"She called in today so Beth has me working." Answering quickly your voice quivering.
"Remind me to thank Beth." The same unknown person said making your cheeks heat up at the compliment.
Finally looking up to look at them as the red and blue lights illuminating their bodies as they sat around a table. All of them were wearing very nice suits, and their hair was styled back. They were all very good looking men, but there was one who immediately caught your eye.
He was incredibly handsome in almost a he didn't seem real. Like he was hand crafted by the gods himself, and he wasn't actually a human being. He was too perfect for words. Trying not to drool being in the same room as him.
His honey brown eyes had been staring at you since you walked in the room. Following you as you placed the glasses in front of them, and pouring them each a shot. Trying your best not to shake under his intense gaze.
The other three continued to talk as if they couldn't care less about you being in here. Which oddly made you feel relieved that they weren't trying to harass you or anything like that.
"Cheers to a good night boys." One of them toasted as they downed the first shot.
"Hell of a day." A man with tattoos on his neck continued.
"I can still see the look on their faces as we fooled them." The one that toasted said. "We totally had them by the balls they were so scared."
"Fucking idiots." The attractive one chuckled.
"Did they really just think we were going to just take the money, and not keep the g-." His voice cut off by an elbow being jabbed into his side.
"Shut the fuck up Don."
Okay that was a little weird. Obviously didn't want you to hear whatever he was about to say. Not that you would have really remembered anyway, since your mind was just focusing on getting the night over with.
Now you were feeling awkward not knowing if you had to stay in here. It wasn't clarified if you could come and go as you pleased. Not wanting to upset anyone by leaving, and they needed something. Two of these men were the owners you just didn't know who.
"Now for even more fun." Watching as the one who had tattoos on his neck pull out a bag with white stuff in it.
"Jesus fuck Andrew." The super attractive one groaned angrily.
"What?" Shrugging his shoulders as he continued to dump some on the table, pulling out a razor blade messing with the powder.
"What did I say about doing that here?" His voice stern in a warning tone.
"I mean you've said it but that doesn't mean I'm gonna listen." Cutting up some lines ignoring Joel's warning.
"I said not here." Raising his voice slightly.
"This is your club Joel." Ah so he was one of the owners. "Are you telling me I can't do this here? Or do you just not want the lady to see?"
Suddenly all four pair of eyes turned to your figure hiding in the corner. It felt as if now you were under some type of spot light. This was exactly what you were hoping to avoid, and now you were the topic.
"Andy knock it off." The fourth man spoke up. Noticing he had curly hair, and looked like he could be related to Joel. Maybe he was the brother.
"She doesn't need to see that shit." It was surprising that he was almost trying to shield you from the drugs.
"Like you don't snort this every other day Joel." He argued sarcastically back, and you could see Joel seething. "Or you either Tommy."
"I said not here." He didn't back down a vein popping out of his neck. "That's my final warning."
You could tell there was so much tension between the two of them. It was clear Joel was the man in charge, and this Andy guy was a trouble maker. The other two guys looked like they wanted to stay out of it.
Maybe Joel didn't want you seeing this cause you are new. Or maybe in a sense he was trying to impress you. It was probably because he didn't want you telling the cops on them or anything like that.
"What's your name sweetheart?" Andy smirking over at you ignoring Joel now.
Looking between the two men wondering if you should answer or just stay silent. Joel nodding his head signaling it was okay. Not sure why you were looking to him for approval anyway.
"Y/N." Sheepishly responding back to him.
"That's such a sexy name." Andrew smiled but his words just made you cringe.
"Thank you." Responding not wanting to make him angry.
That's when Andrew leaned forward more towards you giving Joel an evil look before turning his attention back to you. You could feel like things were just going to get worse.
"How would you feel about giving me a lap dance?"
Soon as the question left his lips Joel didn't hesitate to stand up, and stomp over to him ready to fight. The other two men standing up as well ready to hold him back from killing the man. Backing yourself up against the wall scared of what was about to happen.
Joel standing face to face with the man who just stood there smirking like he was winning. He acted like he wasn't terrified, but on the inside he was shitting his pants.
"What the fuck did you just say to her?"
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on-leatheredwings · 21 hours
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Meeting the Family
based off this! but can be read alone.
Yandere! Fem! Reader / Yandere! Bruce Wayne
> romantic with bruce, platonic with the boys. the boys could be read as pre-yandere if you wish. > tw/cw: reader is a yandere, yandere-typical thought patterns, implied drugging, mention of self-harm, implied drugging > request: thoughts on co-conspirator!reader meeting the boys? > a/n: Hmmmm, i feel it’d be a meeting of interrogation where they see you’re clearly unstable !! > word count: 1.4k
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You walk towards the threshold of a Wayne Manor sitting room. You have this hallway nearly memorized. You’ve viewed it through your 24/7 surveillance cameras and glanced upon it during your visits, but never has this hallway seemed so daunting until now. Luckily, your lover is nearby to reassure you. Bruce slips his hand into yours, and you inwardly swoon. You share a warm glance with him.
“They’ll adore you,” he says. You let a smile peek through your anxious expression. “I know I do.” At such sweet words, you feel your cheeks heat. Ugh, this man, you think affectionately.
Your Sunday best is the armor you don to meet Bruce’s children. It seems like you won’t even be able to meet them all – only the ones in town. “They just want to interrogate me,” you whine, letting yourself be pulled towards the impeccably decorated room.
“They just want to get to know you,” Bruce returns, humming. You can’t retort because already, you are in full view of his brood. The three of them look up from their phones and books. You swallow, under the scrutiny of two pairs of blue eyes and one pair of green.
“... Hi,” you say, waving a stupid hand. One smiles in return, thank goodness.
“I’ll just let you all get acquainted,” Bruce says, retreating. You swerve to him, blinking dumbly. That was not the agreement. The agreement was that Bruce moderate the discussion– and he’s gone.
He leaves the sitting room, and leaves you in the lion’s den to fend for yourself. And boy, do the lions pounce. 
The eldest, Dick – he’s positively godsent. He’s the first to shake your hand, immediately going into a friendly babble about how you’re all Bruce ever talks about and how he’s been excited to meet you. And thank God for that, because it manages to ease the tension you still have in your shoulders. He introduces himself and his brothers, melts the ice by teasing them as he does it. He offers you a seat across from them, offers you tea and cookies. He shares an anecdote of Bruce’s less polished moments to make you laugh. 
You soon realize he was a sleeper agent. He was merely buttering you up, lowering your defenses with well-placed platitudes and good-natured jokes.
It’s Tim who begins the true assault.
“So,” Tim begins over a cup of tea, looking upon you owlishly. “Isolation for 10 long years… How was that?” You blink, startled, before smiling weakly. At least no one was treating you like glass. Sometimes, that made you feel even more like a freak.
You try to give him a Sparknotes recollection, but it doesn’t satisfy him. At his badgering, you do relent more details. You are slipping your innermost thoughts without much of a fight, to your surprise. Dick’s empathetic gaze and Tim’s enraptured attention have you spilling dark thoughts it took you months to even tell Bruce… 
It was long. It was traumatic. Mind-altering. You have breakdown after breakdown. Self-harm after self-harm. There is a part of you you can never get back… So, 'how was it?' Why, just awful, thanks for asking!
Dick comforts you with “you’re so strong,” as Tim nods. He seems happy with his findings. It seems like you have piqued his academic interest – you can basically see the gears churning behind his mind, the factoids he’s storing for later. For what, you don’t know, but you’re glad to help. Throat dry, you down the rest of that blasted tea, but the boys aren’t quite finished.
Damian, however, is brutal in his questioning, sparing any of the pleasantries or dithering his brothers employed. He asks rapid fire about your past outside of your years in isolation. What was your childhood like? Your relationship with your parents? Did you ever graduate high school? College? What was your major? Do you like animals? His father houses two dogs, a cat, and a cow – you do know that don’t you? 
“What are your intentions with my father?” At that, you flinch.
“Nothing… nefarious, to be sure,” you say, sweat beginning to bead on your temple. It’s true! Aside from all the dastardly actions you wanted to inflict upon Bruce in the bedroom, nothing nefarious!
“And his other suitors? They don’t bother you?” 
At that, your smile wilts. Not from any offense… you simply don’t enjoy the reminder that others do seek Bruce’s affection. 
“They… don’t worry me,” you say succinctly. Dick doesn’t think you realize how your smile has grown sharp. Damian doesn’t let on whether he approves or disapproves of the answer. And Tim simply watches.
“And my father’s controlling and possessive tendencies? You’re fine with that? What would you do if you caught him in a lie? Or if a woman he was involved with confronted you?”
You gape like a fish. Man, what a character this one was. Damian blinks slow and catlike, before he sniffs. “I’m asking for one of the siblings who couldn’t be here today.”
“Um…” you return, discombobulated. You shoot off your answers as rapid-fire as he posed them. “I haven’t noticed any tendencies. And I can handle myself! If he lied… I’d hear him out. He probably had a good reason, of course.”
“What if it was infidelity?” 
You glare at them. “I’d get rid of her.” Why do they keep bringing up other women? 
At the boys’ silence, you realize your mistake. You wave your hands and bluster, “Not like– not like get rid of her– I would just tell her to… Leave. And I’d be… angry… at Bruce.” God, you don’t feel like you’re doing too well in this interview. You hiccup, filling your cup some more. What is in this tea? Man, it’s delicious.
“... Interesting.” 
“What if Bruce left you out of his own volition?” Tim points out, drawing your attention.
Your head snaps to him and you stare… That possibility had never even crossed your mind.
“He wouldn’t,” you say, confused. At raised eyebrows, you say, “I mean. I-I don’t think he would.” You have faith in Bruce. It’s been five months now, and your relationship has gone swimmingly. You had your insecurities… but Bruce had kissed all your worries away by now. Your fingers dig into the cushion of the couch. 
He wouldn’t leave. He couldn’t. He had already reassured you, and been so kind, and wonderful, and shown you what love was like– he couldn’t just leave you now–
“But what if he did?” and this time, the question comes from Dick, who, if you recall, hadn’t asked a single question yet. He looks serious, unlike his casual air from before.
You keep the desperation out your voice by keeping it chillingly level. “Then I’d convince him otherwise.” Good answer, good answer, you applaud yourself. All the boys nod, looking upon you with varying degrees of interest, curiosity, and understanding.
“Then… I suppose we have just one more question,” Tim says, plucking the kettle of tea out your hands. You pout.
“Thoughts on having children?”
At the question, your brows shoot into your hairline.
“... Are there not enough of you already?” you blurt.
To your relief, they all relax.
-
After that strange encounter, Bruce shows himself and sees you out. The walk outside is quiet. Comfortably quiet on your end. You hope you did good… no, you reassure yourself. Fuck it, you did great.
“So… how were they?” 
You glance at his face, and are surprised to see thinly veiled concern behind his smile. “Did any of them say anything… strange? And… did you like them?” You laugh, before floating up to kiss Bruce between the brows. Flight powers came in handy for stuff like that.
“They were wonderful,” you say cheekily. “Something they clearly get from their father.”
-
bonus!
Bruce re-enters the foyer. He shoots off a text, lamenting. If you hadn’t had him bug his own home, he could’ve spoken to the boys freely. He could’ve had Jason hide nearby, instead of having to listen in on Damian’s phone.
Bruce: Did that satisfy your curiosities?
Several ellipses in bubbles pop up, before his phone rattles with their responses.
Damian: Frankly, she comes off as airheaded and naive, but at least she seems to have some semblance of spine.
Jason: She’s crazy. Didn’t we tell you to stop sticking your dick in crazy
Dick: Well, I think that makes you guys a perfect match!
Tim: bruce i’m sorry, you cannot fix her. however, i would like to study her. and possibly, make her worse
Bruce sighs, albeit smiling. By all accounts, you seem have gotten their general approval.
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honeybcj · 2 days
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I’m so dysphoric about my chest rn
I’m currently not in a relationship but I would be so dysphoric/insecure about sex and showing my body to another person
So could you write maybe some fluffy jegulus smut? :)
my precious nonnie <3 i completely understand where you are coming from. it’s definitely a very difficult thing to work through and live with. i wish i had all the right words to say to just make everything feel good and comfy. i know i’m just a person behind a screen, but know that you have my full support and love, yeah? i’d adore to write a little jeggy fluffy smut. hopefully this can bring you some joy today (sorry it took so long to get to!)
“Jamie,” Regulus breathes out, back arching up off the bed.
Early morning sunlight fills the bedroom with a soft yellow glow. Piled around the two of them are warm sheets, cradling their bodies with delicacy. It’s been a slow morning—one of their favorite things to indulge in. A morning full of soft touches and longing looks, tentative kisses and gentle whispers of love and admiration.
At some point, James made himself comfortable between Regulus’ legs, situating himself just right to be able to lean down and graze his lips down Regulus’ chest. Regulus’ curls fall like a halo around his head on the pillow beneath him, every inch of his skin burning just from James’ touch alone.
Regulus doesn’t know how he got so lucky. He’s found the person that loves him for who he is—no qualms or questions about it. James sees him for the man he is, loving every piece of Regulus that he offers up. And Regulus does give all of himself to James, for James shines like the sun, leaving Regulus to bask in plentiful warmth and comfort.
Each kiss along Regulus’ chest only darkens his cheeks more, eyes wide with adoration. He lifts his head, watching carefully as James trails kisses along the healed scars on his chest. He’s cautious, attentive to how Regulus’ body reacts. A shudder here, a soft whine there. It aches Regulus ache all the more; James has loved him before his surgery, during, and after.
“Baby,” Regulus whimpers, carding a hand through James’ hair.
Blissed out, James looks up at him with benevolent eyes, hair sticking up at all odd ends from hours of sleep and lazing about all morning. His lips curl up into the fondest smile, brightening up his entire face. The look alone makes Regulus melt into a puddle, heart hammering inside his chest to the beat of love, love, love.
“Hi, my love,” James whispers, slipping a hand beneath the sheets.
It’s already too much and not enough. James’ hand slips lower, caressing the soft skin of Regulus’ thigh, letting out a breathy laugh as the hair tickles his fingertips. Regulus is feeling a little impatient, hips moving on their own accord to seek out James’ hand—his touch.
“Be patient, baby. I’ve got you,” James murmurs as his hand slinks closer to Regulus’ cunt, his touch becoming more purposeful.
Fingers slip beneath the material of Regulus’ shorts, delving past his underwear. Skilled they brush through coarse curls just barely getting to where Regulus is desperate for it.
“It’s—it’s hard,” Regulus huffs, poking out his lower lip which makes James grin. He leans down and presses a sweet kiss to Regulus’ mouth.
“God, you are so beautiful,” is all James says before slipping a finger through Regulus’ slick folds.
Regulus can’t even formulate a response, too overcome by pleasure and emotion. His lips part, yearning gaze falling right on James’. And there it is—the James Potter smile.
It’s like time stops for a moment, just so they can remember this exact feeling. Eyes boring lovingly into one another’s, bodies aligned. Each time James brushes over his clit, another soft moan escapes Regulus’ mouth. The tender caress turns into one finger, then two, fucking Regulus unhurriedly, even as Regulus pushes his hips down for more.
James’ thumb works in tandem, stroking over Regulus’ clit each time he thrusts his fingers. All Regulus can think is, this is the life I deserve, this is the man I want to spend the rest of my life with.
A building crescendo, nearly falling over the edge. Regulus’ vision goes hazy, a mix of pleasure and unshed tears. James, always in tune, catches Regulus’ shift, quickening his ministrations. And there it is—enough to send Regulus out of orbit.
When Regulus finally comes to, he’s wrapped in James’ arms, in a clean pair of pants, while James traces slow circles on his shoulder. Right there, in that moment, Regulus has never felt more at peace.
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deepsix-writing · 7 hours
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coming to terms with godhood.
(a jack nichols aka ‘eyeless jack’ story)
the birth of a god is a painful thing. it feels like dying, more than anything. you’d think, after people having worshipped deities for so long, they’d warn you about how excruciating it is to become one. but they don’t.
that was something jack nichols had learned through firsthand experience. recently, in fact. but the worst thing, for him, wasn’t learning to readjust; it felt like all of his senses had been fundamentally rearranged, but that wasn’t what bothered him most. what bothered him most was the trail of bodies it left in his wake.
“burn in hell. ALL of you.” he remembered the words birthing into the open air, but not saying them himself. but he did remember pulling the mask over his face, and he did remember leaving a bloody jenny to die in the forest alone. he remembered kicking away her pleading hands as they pawed at his ankle, her last chance of making contact with her reborn god. only it didn’t feel like jack’s voice, coming out of him. it came from some place far deeper than his chest, and it gushed from his lips like the tar that leaked from his eyes. when he finally scrambled back to civilization, hastily stuffing himself into the nearest gas station bathroom to avoid prying eyes, he puked his guts out. it was an ultimately futile attempt to get that noxious tar out of his body.
it was poisoning him, he was certain. it felt like it coated every inch of his insides, holding back the air in his lungs and turning the food in his stomach to bile. he didn’t want to look in the mirror. he didn’t want to see the state of himself, what those people had done to him, but he needed to know.
he wished he hadn’t looked. because when he did, he didn't recognize what he saw.
beneath the mask, crusted with black tar, festered two black pits where his eyes once were. he was mesmerized by the fact he wasn’t doubled over with the pain of it all. thinking about it, he was just as mesmerized by something else, too.
how am i able to see right now?
it was something that hadn’t even occurred to him until now.
sight of chernobog, some rogue thought interjected. then, it came back to him. that was what the cultists had said when they gouged out his eyes and replaced them with…
i should not be as calm as i am, reflecting on this.
jack never had been the emotional type, but this was really pushing it. it was like that tar that covered his insides had dampened his emotions, too.
...or maybe he was just denying himself the time to truly reflect on it. a part of him felt if he did that, he might never get back on his feet again. he’d curl up in a ball and crystalize, and years down the line he’d be nothing but dust.
jack didn’t want that. it was like the mountain climbers he’d read about in one of his medical textbooks. he just needed to learn to acclimate to the change in altitude. this could be okay.
how to acclimate, however… that was a tough one. he couldn’t do it around people though, he knew that much. he needed to be somewhere isolated, somewhere he could collect his thoughts and keep anyone else from getting—
go back to the college, his thoughts interjected again. you don’t know what its like to be truly alone. you don’t want that.
jack blinked, but shrugged it off. in the gas station bathroom’s sink he washed his hair, matted with blood, and made certain to wash off any blood that pooled on the porcelain when he was done. he took the mask, cast aside amidst his previous puking session, and slipped it back on. he slipped the hood of his jacket up over it to hide his wet hair, too, and took one final look in the mirror.
it was months from Halloween. there was no way anyone was going to look at him and think ‘yep, that’s normal’. in fact, jack was pretty sure he’d already gotten a horrified look from a lady filling up her tank before he’d darted into the bathroom.
his only hope was going to be finding somewhere secluded to figure all of this out. maybe, when all was said and done with, he could make up the assignments for the last of his classes online. he was pretty sure west point had a program for that.
his uncle had a cabin in some backwoods area nearby, he knew. jack remembered when he was a kid, him, his parents, and his cousins would all stay there during the holidays. his uncle had a different house he lived in, too, so chances were, the place was empty.
and, it was only a few dozen miles north, if he remembered correctly. he was on the track team back in high-school. it wouldn't be easy, but it would be managable.
it was the best shot he had at figuring this all out.
it would have to work.
whatever it was that had happened with the cult, whatever it was that they did to jack, it would all be a distant memory in a few years. it wouldn’t get in the way of his medical degree, and it sure as hell wouldn’t get in the way of his life.
right?
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fanofthelamb · 3 days
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So I went dumpster diving in my tablet for the first lamb I ever drew and WOW... I found a lot of sketches I really don't plan on revisiting. I am jsut gonna dump them below the cut for people to see!! Some of it is lore related, some of it is shit I ABSOLUTELY FUCKING HATE, but IDC!!! I will post it anyway for the tumblr users who I keep an eye on my notifs for. (yes, i see you guys. even if i dont always interact I see you and love you guys)
Anyway, here is the earliest drawin I have of me drawing the lamb!! I am going to write a comment under a lot of these to add context to them.
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A cute little baby <3333 but I struggled a LOT of figuring out what the lamb was wearing, I eventually figured it out though. (I hope)
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if you know, you know. (RIP VAL)
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for my BTG AU. I decided I no longer wanted chemach to make the [spoiler] for the lamb, though, so I scrapped this
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vaaaal,,,,,, i was still learning how to draw him, i wish i put pants on him but do those even exist in COTL? (yes)
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I haven't been able to do much with them because I'm putting other stuff first, but Brear has two kids, Notre and Brejul who Narinder absolutely ADORES. he is the one who babysits.
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fun fact but the lamb being touch repulsed is a projection LOL. i hate it when people touch me it feels so tickly and makes me want to bite their faces off. (but i am touch starved and i LOVE to show affection to other ppl, esp thru back rubs)
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yes, they have a hoop for personal space. no, ill never use it.
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drum corcl,,,, i love the little dancing guy that comes from the drums
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more narinder and brear. they're not romantically interested in each other, but he is absolutely head over heels for brear, their brother, and the kids. they even call him dad sometimes.
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[no context]
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kallamar and leshy before their crowns. the scene i have related to this isn't happening anymore, but it was leshy begging to be taught to swim.
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another "the one who baby sits" doodle. the bishops all came into the cult with a very good repuation thanks to narinder. he likes to tell the kids of the cult stories about how amazing his siblings were. at first, it was just to nobre and brejul with stories about leshy(he missed leshy a lot even though he was still mad at him, and the two reminded narinder of his time with leshy), but then it escalated into him hosting storytimes with larger groups after they started repeating some of the stories he'd tell them.
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unfinsihed stuff about with the lamb and thier mom. their mom wasn't afraid of the bishops at all, but knew that they were a still a threat to her and her child's life. the lamb did NOT care for anyone thier mom didn't approve of/enthusiastically liked. they were much more afraid of the bishops than their mother.
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i do not actually know if i posted this.i dont think so, but i giggle every time i scroll past it
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brear and nobre <333
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im still workong on BTG shit, and i post a little bit of the characters on here even tho the comics are going to be posted elsewhere. they have a "crownlike" beak, but a body part. there's different creatures who became gods through different ways; crowns are one way but their power is stuck with the crown and they are considered extremely weak compared to other gods. i wont blabber on about it tho.
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so many sketches has random lines through em because i work with a tablet,,, i hate it. anyway, narinder and kallamar everybody!
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sketches i made but didn't bother to finish of me and merbre,,,,,,,,, my husband #1 <3 them w/ narinder + merbre arent gonna be considered "canon" but damn it ill self-ship with them until i get a follower i can WORK with
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i come back to this every few weeks and im never happy with it, i dont know if ill finish this but i think about them........ before the divorce </3
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unused from an ask
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heartstealer. menace. you can rip my heart out anytime, leshy <3
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dreshy. he LOVES dresses and being pretty and cute and pretty. he sucks narinder into a lot and heket will sometimes join in if he demands asks her to <3
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another unused drawing from an ask i'll eventually answer. (mildly offended at being called a mutton cube.)
.... aaand WOW! I think that's everything guys!! things are still kinda wild but they're calming down a little bit. idk how much longer it's gonna last like this but I have some energy so I made a way-too-long post showing off art I wasn't supposed to post! Awesome. :D
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Vienna Waits For You -8- William Nylander
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“Miss Bradshaw Krietzburg, I think it’s very possible that this will work in our favor.”
“Mr. Jefferies, all due respect, but I need to know that it will work. We’ve combed over every line of these contracts.”
“Is there really no loophole she can exploit?” Jackson questioned, taking a sip of coffee. 
“Well, there is one option, although it requires radical action.”
It took Avalyn two months to finally decide to take action against her management team. Jackson was able to hire a lawyer on her behalf, so that her team wouldn’t know anything about it. Together, the three of them met weekly, sometimes more than once, to try to find a way to rid Avalyn of her management. 
She hadn’t spoken to William since that night in her apartment. They were like strangers to each other again, only seeing one another when it came to work related functions. But everytime she saw him from across the room, or on the ice during a game, her chest hurt. She missed seeing him all of the time, missed being with him and talking to him. 
Jackson walked out of the small office with Ava. Both of them had a day off from filming, although they were nearing a break that would last a few weeks. Production wanted to finalize the first two episodes and present them to the studio to make sure that they’d be allowed to continue before finishing off the season. 
“Are you coming to the game tonight?” Jackson asked, a mischievous gleam in his eyes. 
Jackson had been grasping at straws for weeks, doing everything he could to get Avalyn to show interest in anything. The only thing she could focus on outside of filming, was doing everything in her power to get out from underneath her parents. Everything else was just…nothing to her. 
The makeup team had a hell of a time making her look better on screen than she did in real life now. Her cheeks hollowed out a little more again, with large dark circles under her eyes. He knew she didn’t sleep much, or eat more than the bare minimum. She was slipping, and there was little he could do other than keep throwing out a rope and hoping she’d grab it one day.
“No, it's best if I don’t. Besides, I want to make sure I have everything down before the shoot on Monday,” She replied, pulling her coat closer to her body. 
“Avey, you have to give yourself a break at some point. You can’t keep working yourself like this.”
She smiled sadly at Jackson, “I keep working so I don’t have time to think.”
He pulled her close, holding her head against his chest in an effort to block out the world, “I wish I could just fix it all for you. God, I wish you didn’t have to deal with any of this anymore.”
She held onto him, feeling relaxed in his arms, “I know. But I’ll be okay Jacks. We’ll find a way out of my contracts.” 
She pulled away enough to see his face. Avalyn tried not to pay much attention to the worried look he had, instead she brushed some of his long hair away from his eyes and tried her best to smile, “Go to the game. Have some fun.”
“Promise me you’ll get some sleep?” He seemed to beg her, “Don’t obsess over the scripts all night.”
“I’ll do my best. Now go, I don’t want you to miss anything.” She shooed him away, “I love you.”
“I love you more.” 
She forces a smile as she makes her way out of the office. For the past month it felt like she couldn't breathe. Like an elephant was sitting on her chest, forcing the air from her lungs. She tried to fight it, but the unbearable pressure from her parents was getting worse. 
Jefferies thought that maybe she could sue them for her rights, or something like that. But she was afraid of what would happen if she took things to a court, because of how nasty they could get. She knew first hand how vicious they could be when they wanted to be. 
Her phone going off drew her out of her thoughts, she pulled it out of her pocket and answered it without even paying attention to who was calling. 
“Avalyn Bradshaw Kiretzburg.”
“Do you always answer your phone that way?” 
She feels her shoulders sag at the sound of his voice, slowly breaking down every barrier she spent the last several weeks trying to build. She leaned against the wall in the hallway leading to her apartment. She hadn’t talked to him since that night in her apartment. The news about the show broke, she went on several more talk shows with the cast. Her parents scrambled to make it seem like this was something they approved of. But the reception was incredible, everyone seemed to be excited about the new hockey show hitting streaming services within the year. It made Avalyn incredibly proud to be a part of it. 
“Only when I don’t pay attention to who’s calling,” She admitted shyly. 
“Ah, so that’s why you picked up,” He laughs, filling her ears with the wonderful sound. 
“You know we can’t do this,” she sighed, digging in her pocket for her keys. 
“No, I just know you say we can’t,” He rebutted, “I don’t care much about what your parents think.”
“I care too much about you,” She shakes her head, “My dad could have your career ended with a single phone call.”
“Yeah, I don’t buy that,” She can picture his smile as he shakes his head, “Anyway, I wanted to see if you’re coming to the game tonight.” 
“You know I won’t be there,” She tells him softly, “It would cause too many questions. Jackson though, he’ll be there with some of the other cast members.” 
“So you can’t come because?” 
“People are already questioning those pictures of us from a little while back,” She rushed to explain, “I can’t give anyone a reason to look closer. I can’t give them a reason to look at you.” 
“So, more of your self preservation bullshit,” He surmised, “Got it.”
“Will-” 
“Look, I like you Ava, you know that. But I can’t wait for you to decide to live your life,” He informs her, “You have to make that decision. No one can make it for you.” 
“Willy I-” 
“I gotta go, game is getting ready to start. Just wanted to hear your voice before I got on the ice.” 
She wanted to say more. Wanted to beg for him to wait for you to get out from underneath your parents. She was so close she could taste freedom. She just wasn’t sure how to get it, no matter how badly she wanted it.
 So instead she gave it another week, waiting for her next meeting with Mr. Jefferies, when she finally asked what the most radical thing to do would be. He took his time explaining how many moving parts this plan would entail, and how important it was that it go off without a hitch. No one outside of the room could know about it. All she knew is she wanted to be free. 
Avalyn wanted to be rid of her parents once and for all. No matter what it might mean for her career. Jackson was ready to talk to his agent and see if they’d be willing to take Avalyn on as a client, provided they would sign an NDA beforehand, so they couldn’t tell anyone else about this either. 
She longed to tell William. Longed to tell him that she was trying to live her life to the best of her ability. But she just needed to get through the next month and then everything would be different. 
“I’ll need a place to crash, off the grid, once news breaks,” Avalyn stated. 
“What about Rose’s place? The homestead with her family?” Jackson questioned, “She’s coming to guest star on the show next week, we can talk to her.” 
“I don’t want to drag Ro into this though,” Ava sighs. 
“You know she’ll be happy to help. You’ll be safe there, no one even knows where she lives.” 
Avalyn sinks further into her seat, knowing her friend was right. Roisin Quinnlyn, or more famously known as  Rose Quinn was a famous singer and actress and a good friend of Avalyn and Jackson’s. One of the only ones left after Margot’s tirade. She stuck with them throughout all of it, never once turning her back on them. 
Rose was the daughter of Irish immigrant parents, who then brought her grandparents over as well. The family had a homestead of sorts in the state of New York, tucked away where no one really knows. The locals don’t talk about her being there, in fact they protect her in every way that they possibly could. 
Avalyn realized it was one of the few places she actually felt at home. Aside from the home she was slowly making for herself here in Toronto. 
“Yeah, okay,” She finally agrees, “Make the arrangements.” 
Jackson finally relaxes in his chair, knowing his best friend would be free soon. He hated seeing what her parents did to her all of these years. Hated seeing how they broke her down and stole her spirit. He thought some of it had come back when she moved here for the show, but he watched as it slowly disappeared again. 
“Good,” Jacks smiled, “I’ll call Rose tonight and see if she’s game. But she hates your parents as much as we do, so I’m sure she’ll be down to cause some trouble.” 
“You and Rose only cause trouble,” Avalyn rolled her eyes. 
He smiled again, big and bright at her. Showing off his dimples. There was a pang in Avalyn’s chest at the thought that they wouldn’t have to fake date anymore, which meant she wouldn’t see as much of him when they weren’t filming together. She was selfish in the way that she wanted to keep him in her life as much as she possibly could. She loved him, in more ways than one. 
“It’ll be good to see her again though,” He adds in, “It’s been a while.” 
Rose was just coming off the back of a world tour, which sold out every venue. Avalyn and Jackson were lucky enough to catch one of her shows in LA before she went for her European leg. You were in awe of your friend as you watched her on stage, you loved watching her do what she loved. 
“You should talk to Willy,” Jackson said as the two of them made their way back to her apartment, “He really misses you.” 
“I know he does,” She said softly, “I miss him too, but I can’t risk his career, not when I’m so close to getting out.” 
“So after it’s all over? Will you talk to him then?” He asks. 
“I’ll do more than just talk to him,” She admits, “I’ll get on my knees and beg for him.” 
“I don’t think you’ve ever begged for anything,” Jackson lets out a laugh.
She shakes her head, “I begged for him before, begged for my parents to leave him alone. It was the first time I tried to get my way with them.” 
Jackson wrapped his arms around her and kissed the top of her head, “We’ll get you through this. But right now, there are people taking pictures of us, so shut up and kiss me like you love me.” 
“I do love you,” She rolled her eyes, but stood on her tiptoes so she could reach his lips. 
It didn’t feel the same as kissing William. There was no spark with Jacks. Never had been. Anything they did together, they did because they were made to, or it was just safest to do it with one another. They had sex together because it was safe to do so. The other party wouldn't sell the story or anything. Rose and William were the only ones who knew it even happened. 
“I love you,” She forced herself to say overly lovingly. 
“I love you too,” There was a hint of sadness in his voice, in his eyes too, “C’mon, let's get you home.”
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skitskatdacat63 · 8 months
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I drew all of my historical AU Sebs!!!!
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In order they are(with relevant links to lore info if you are curious!!): Napoleonic Hussar Seb(x), Renaissance Muse Seb(x) and Boy King/Emperor Seb(x)
Let me know which you like best!!!
#oh my fucking god this was truly the endurance race of drawing sessions#i just drew for four hours straight or so......FUN!#and it is now almost 5 am on a school night so pls wish me luck in school haha#basically this spawned from me seeing if i could sketch all 3 of my Sebs easily and then whoops 4 hours later they are finished!#i think now i can draw the hussar uniform with my eyes closed. it was so comforting to draw honestly ;;;;#this is actually the first time ive drawn boy king seb with colors!! so i think it turned out pretty well?#hey guys do you notice what all of the Sebs have in common...? they all have a gold motif...GOLDEN BOY CODED!!!#anyways i think the most developed of these AUs is boy king seb which is funny bcs its the one ive created most recently#but gaahhhhhh ive done so much research and im literally brainrotting over it constantly#now i need to draw fernando in his 3 AUs hahaha but drwing Seb is sooooo much more easy/comfy for me#did you guys also notice i have a fondness for a specific seb hairstyle? malaysia 2010 my truly beloved youve served me so well#i mentioned this already but like i dont get how drawing these kinds of clothing is far more preferable to me than drawing racesuits#well anyways i have so much fun researching into these different eras!! and then very fun to mix it with the drivers#im very surprised i was able to draw this. im not usually able to draw good chibi anatomy#but like seriously i think i was posessed by my thoughts of boy king seb and i just couldnt stop drawing#in didnt really have any mental roadblocks which is surprising#but then again these drawings are me mixing my two major interests atm so ofc it'll come to me easily and make me passionate!!#anyways time to go sleep pwease dont let this flop my hands literally are overheated from drawing LMFAO#catie.art.#sebastian vettel#f1#formula 1#f1 fanart#formula 1 art#formula 1 fanart#f1 art#boy king au#renaissance muse au#hussar au
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thebleedingeffect · 24 days
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.
#okay I'm talking in the tags of this post cause shit is happening in my life and I gotta talk about it somewhere#one part of it is my step brother crashing and burning before my very eyes and there's nothing I can do to stop his own destructive actions#so it's just me watching this poor kid ruin his relationships and blame everything and everyone around him as he does so#despite the fact that he's undeniably been treated horribly at times- he's just turned that anger back onto others and himself#and I have no idea what to feel as I watch him get arrested. have drug problems. because I'm just waiting for the inevitable spiral#it doesn't help that my mom has been comparing us and saying that I'm the much better child and she wishes he was like me#not understanding that I could’ve been him if I was just more angry at the world at that age instead of being so sad and scared#and that leads me to my fucking mom cause like- I love her. we've been through alot of bad shit with her#I've almost done some really bad shit for her and I know that she loves me more than anything else#but it feels like its been getting more and more suffocating cause I'm not sure she's able to start seeing me as an adult#and start loosening her grip around me and let me breathe. to have my own experiences without her by my side#to be able to go places and imagine a future without her constantly by my side#she talks and it's like she doesn't even think to wonder that perhaps I want to form my own experiences#and experience the world on my own terms because I feel like I've spent my whole life having so little damn control#religious family. shit and neglectful father who turned into the exact opposite and nearly killed me. family who refuses to listen and talk#having to move and run immediately. put survival above all else. go to school. get out. and god I just wanna breathe#she loves me so much and I love her too. but I feel like I'll be sooner crushed if I stick here for long enough#I'm just mad that my life has been nothing but absolutely no love. sudden waves of intense love. absolutely nothing. sudden spike#and I feel like I'm just finally starting to form good. healthy relationships on my own terms and actually make friends#because I had no idea what I was doing when I was a kid cause I was so fucking lonely and hurting#now I just. gotta figure out how to tell my mom that I can't carry this expectation that I'll continue to stay forever by her side#it just feels like I'm her child first and a person second. and it sucks. it really sucks.#ough. spins and spins and spins and spins-
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I was looking for mikumas art so I could see it and found an amino post listing some stuff that they apparently include while drawing Fukase, including: point also has paw prints, Fukase's left eye Glows or is implied to, Fukase has a bigger version of point but they “Don't exactly look alive”, Fukase also apparently has a + symbol in his left eye? Oh and Point has a Point-sized hat to match Fukase's -🌟
oh yea!! almost all of these i've seen ya
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here's the toe beans
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i feel like the tiny vers of the hat has shown up in other illusts but i dont remember... here's one tho
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and here's some closeups that show the plus in the eye... its kinda hard to see sometimes but it is there!
the eye appearing to glow might just be b/c of how mikuma uses contrast in their art, but i do love the idea of fukase's other eye glowing 👁️👁️💖
no idea abt the larger point though...
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piplupod · 2 years
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thank god i don't have to have my camera on for this class very often bc i am absolutely fuming and literally tearing up bc i am so upset and angry at these education resources for this stupid fucking class, it's about "self management" and "office etiquette" and theyre just so fucking shitty and stupid and awful. like. really fucking ableist and i know that's obvious but jesus christ. it's all such bullshit. i hate offices so much.
#let me just strip you of every ounce of personality and individuality so you become our perfect little drone!!!#no need for emotions here! if someone is being negative to you - just ignore it! don't be upset about it :)#make sure you make eye contact and read nonverbal cues! everyone can do that sooooo easily! shouldnt be a problem for our drones!#any body modifications relevant to your culture! cover those up! once again - zero individuality is allowed here!#you have to be the human personification of the colour white :) no no not beige. that's too racially significant! we must ALL be white :)#but we LOOOOVE diversity here and celebrate it! just as long as you are NT cishet white and boring :)#i'm so . fucking angry fhsdgdsgjkl nothing makes me upset faster than office etiquette bullshit fsdjgjkl#i want to leave class for the day so bad so i can go cry#i've already gotten today's assignment done anyways lol i finished it off before class even started#but. gotta keep up appearances. im trying to stay a day head#*a day ahead#but fhsdgjkl tomorrow's is the really shitty ableist assignments so fuck me i guess#i need to just dissociate hardcore and let my brain go into society drone-mode but god. it is very upsetting to do that#but this work needs to be done fhsdghsdghjkl fucking hell it is literally upsetting and potentially triggering to do this shit#because this like. relates back to some specific trauma and abuse i've gone through lmfao.#i wish i'd stayed dormant longer jsdjfkl#Nine would've hated this and Cal would've been upset but i think they'd be able to do it better than i can#especially Nine because he gets so angry JFSDFJKL he just powers through it so it gets done faster#okay im being embarrassing now sorry fsdfkl i will shut up and go attempt to work on this bullshit#pippen needs 2nd breakfast
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dragon-ascent · 3 months
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Imagine how curious about humanity Morax must have been when he first began ruling over them. Pre-Liyue and pre-Guili Assembly era. He probably didn't even have a human form then, so he'd lord his land in exuvia form.
"Why do you humans cover your bodies?" the draconic god asks you, eyes sweeping over the long tunic you're wearing. His elongated form coils nicely around the hilltop, with enough room still for his tail to swish around.
You're nearly sent rolling down this hill in surprise at your god's question. "Well, my lord," you squeak after a beat, "clothes protect us from the heat and cold. They also protect our modesty."
"Modesty?" he repeats.
Nodding, you continue meekly, "Our bodies are precious and certain parts are private. It's embarrassing for other people to see them..." Your face burns with every word you say.
The god mulls this over for a moment. "I see. It is a body possessed by all, yet it must be concealed...how intriguing."
Not wanting to let this drag on, you start to turn around. "I-if you'll excuse me, my lord, I need to go take a bath. It's been a long day outside..."
Morax seems to think for a moment. "Very well. Allow me to assist you." His tail wags.
Your eyes widen. "Assist with - with the bath?!"
"Yes. Why not?"
It feels like you'll explode from the mortification. "Modesty, my lord...I wish to protect my modesty!" You fret over whether he'll find it rude if you just took off and ran right about now.
Morax tilts his head, his fur whipping in the evening breeze. "But I am not a human, so you needn't protect yourself from me. And as a god, it is my duty to help my people where I am able."
"So kind of you, yes! But no thank you! Goodbye!" You practically tumble down the hill to get away, leaving a slightly nonplussed Morax behind.
Unfortunately, the river you go to bathe in is also the river Morax has decided to drink from today. He maintains eye contact with you the whole time.
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hannahchronism · 11 months
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i saw. an edit on tiktok (yeah i know) of someone who had compiled a bunch of pictures they took when they started to feel like the thing they were doing wasn't real and that sort of. boxed me into acknowledging that that should probably be. the minority feeling. if it happens at all.
#smth smth christian household. smth smth father from very....#oh my mom said it the other day and it was such a good word for it but now i've lot it.#hmm anyway his father was army and not particularly. hm. not Not demonstrative but didn't Say things#father from very 'my dad was army and his dad was army' family#mother has image-focused gaslighter whose favorite child was the boy for a mother#(and her dad died when i was very little)#((and then actually dad's dad died when i was a little older but still. quite little.))#(((((that's a fun trend we have. there's more to it but that's . anyway.))))#this is a very circumventive way of getting do ''my god do i know how to not talk or address or look at things''#jordan's family freaks me out they all yell at each other about stuff and it's like. that's not allowed ;slkfjgs;dlkfjg#like that sound derogatory i really don't mean it to be and im sure there's a whole list of pros and cons for that one too it's just like#god it's So Different. it's so different. we don't yell until someone has like. Snapped. usually over something little#this has steered in a way that one wonders how the things are related but i swear they are#the ultimate point meant to be ''god i wish i knew how to talk'' which actually i guess isn't that it's really more like#god i wish i trusted myself to know how to talk because i do i worked very very very hard to be able to but im always afraid to do it anywa#it's so much easier to never say anything if you are willing to accept the cost of that#and if you have been doing it for a very long time its very hard to remember whether or not you are and how to hold on to not accepting it#which is mainly. rooted in self trust#im having a time. im trying very hard i know it does not look or sound like it.#and if you are down here this far please understand i don't think. that i want eye contact over the top of this post#i am very good at looking away. i am very good at (& used to) being invisible. being looked at is very scary.#i really almost don't like it very much at all but if you could sit with me without looking that would be. really very cool#but that is much harder online#hmmmmmmmmmm starting to feel very visible in fact right now but i've been posting on this blog for years since like the peak of disaster#why stop now
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chikaras-garden · 5 months
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Imagine you go to buy some furniture with Jason (or dick), and all they can think about the entire time is how easy it'd be to fuck you. Would he be able to bend you over that counter over there? Would it be too high? Too low? Would you somehow get hurt?
The idea for this was instant. Like a fever dream. 
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���Nah,” Jason says, patting his palm against the kitchen island you point out to him. With each option, he spends a full two minutes pacing around it, bending to inspect the countertop, the cabinets—how thorough he is would be admirable if he actually liked anything. 
Hands in his pockets, he strolls back over to where you’ve been waiting for him to decide. “That one’s too tall for you.”
Almost ready to give up, you half-heartedly point to the one next to it. “What about this one?” 
“C’mon, baby,” he scoffs. “That’s got wheels.”
Incredulous, you ask, “Why can’t we have wheels?”
“You’ll get hurt.”
“Huh?”
“Can’t have you slipping on me,” he tuts, already strolling away. “Broken jaws aren’t sexy.”
You stay right where you are, growing more confused by the second. “I’m not going to break my jaw while I’m cooking, Jay.”
He pauses and turns just enough to look over his shoulder. His eyes glint with an I know something you don’t know sort of mischief, and one half of his mouth twitches into a shit-eating grin. “Didn’t say anything about cooking, kitten.”
You blink. Your cheeks grow warm. Oh. Oh. Oh, God.
“Jason Peter—”
“No wheels, less than three inches higher than your waist, no pointy door pulls, and I think you’d look nice against a white quartz top,” he interrupts, firing off wish list items like bullets, as if he’s not talking about the ideal qualities for a kitchen island on which he plans to rail you. “Let’s keep looking, baby; might have to bend you over a couple of these to see how comfortable they are for you.”
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garak · 4 months
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i wish you people cared about actual high needs autistic people. so much discourse on disability on social media among autism/adhd “advocates” aims to either push back on the idea that autistic people are all kids/display childlike behavior or frame autism as something non-disruptive that is just a quirky way of living or thinking. these are counterproductive to getting autistic people the help they need because the fact is there are autistic people who display what seems like childlike behavior (poor emotional regulation, poor ability to communicate needs, poor understanding of social norms and cues) and who will act in disruptive and even violent ways. if the idea of autism in the public eye is smart but awkward guy who loves model trains and nintendo, this will push autistic people who act in other ways less immediately socially acceptable to the margins when often it is those individuals who need people fighting for them the most. if your disability activism or god forbid your worldview does not have a space for both me (stereotypically precocious but awkward adult, generally competent and able to live by myself) and my older brother (in sped all through school and now at a job through a disability work program, has trouble with even “simple” daily tasks and will never be able to live on his own) then it is not inclusive of all autistic people and you are not worth my time or respect.
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nervousimposter · 11 months
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Eddie started finding notes in his locker his sophomore year. The first couple of them, he just tossed without reading. He didn’t need to read what those asshole bullies wanted to say about him. But curiosity won out after two weeks of constant notes and he finally opened one. It was the single most impactful thing he’d ever read. 
I think you’re the prettiest boy I’ve ever seen. 
He kept that note. And every other note he got from that point on. If anyone were to ask Eddie what he regretted most in his life, it would be those two weeks of notes he tossed without reading. Ten slips of paper with unknown writing that he wishes he could get back. Add them to his ‘mystery boys notes’ box. And he was a mystery, the note writer. Anonymous. Unknown. Impossible to catch. 
Eddie held out for a month. A whole month before he decided to stage a stake out. He watched his locker like a hawk. In between classes, during classes, lunch, after school and even one absolutely horrible day where he came in an hour before school started. But the mystery boy had to be invisible. He never saw anyone approach his locker but his daily note was always there. And Eddie; poor, unfortunate, infatuated Eddie dealt with mystery boys’ notes from ‘82 to ‘85. Four agonizing years of the most heart-warming, loving notes. 
I wish I was as brave as you.
Did you change your shampoo? Your hair looked so soft today.
God, your eyes have to be the biggest fucking eyes I’ve ever seen. So pretty.
I like how long your hair is getting. 
Saw you walking down the hall today and I’ve never wanted to kiss someone more. 
They started cute. Compliments here and there, even a doodle every once in a while. Hearts and smiley faces. But as the months and years went by, the mystery boy got deeper. Confessions and secrets. 
I think if I had a different dad, we would’ve been best friends.
Can you fall in love with someone you’ve never talked to?
I dream about us. 
I’m a boy. I’m sorry.
I want to hold your hand. Those rings are something else. 
I saw you trying to catch me. Adorable.
I wish I could take you on a date. Not give a shit what my dad would say or what people would think. 
I wish I could be brave enough to talk to you. 
You’re still the prettiest boy I’ve ever seen.
I’m graduating this year. I’m sorry it didn’t work out for you. I think I’m going to try to figure out a way to keep dropping these off next year. I don’t want you to forget about me.
The notes didn’t continue when the school year started. Eddie was embarrassed to admit he cried that first night. He wasn’t sure how the mystery boy was going to be able to get the notes to him but he fully believed it was going to happen. He went five weeks with no daily note in his locker. And then, it showed up on a Monday. He almost missed it, the tiny slip of paper. 
Sorry this took so long. Had to figure out how I was going to sneak these in here. I don’t think I’ll be able to call you pretty every day of the week this time around but I’m going to try my best! 
And mystery boy was right. The notes were always there on Monday. Just Monday. But Eddie didn’t complain. One note a week after five weeks of nothing almost had his heart bursting from his chest. It also narrowed down his search. Sort of. Mystery boy was either coming in on those Mondays to drop off the note, sneaking in on the weekends when the school was empty OR after school on Fridays. And look, he’s failed to graduate high school two times in a row now but he wasn’t stupid. Did it take him three months after the notes to start again for him to realize who it was? Yes but to be fair, for two of those months it was Eddie wallowing in denial. 
Five weeks into school was when he restarted Hellfire. Three weeks before that was when he brought in those new little freshman sheepies. The same freshman sheepies that got picked up by Steve Harrington. Steve Harrington who graduated last year. Steve Harrington who he catches staring at him from his beemer in the parking lot every Friday night before he takes the kiddies home. Steve who he categorizes as someone who is so far out of his league that it just couldn’t be him. But it’s been three months and there isn’t any other former Hawkins high student running around in or near the school. And now that Eddie’s almost certain Steve has been mystery boy these past few years, he can’t wait. He’s been in love with a figure made out of slips of paper for four years and his nonexistent patience has truly run thin.  
He calls for a break 15 minutes before they normally end their sessions. Tells the boys he needs to run to the bathroom and almost sprints out the door. His locker sits in the hallway just around the corner of the drama room. The door closing shut echos through the empty hallways, alongside the squeaks coming from his shoes as he hustles towards his locker. He freezes as soon as he turns the corner. 
Steve probably only had 30 seconds after hearing the door open and shut to process what he was going to do. He could’ve run or hid, maybe pretend like he just needed the bathroom while he waited. But Eddie watched him pause as they made eye contact instead. Watched as Steve looked him up and down. Watched him relax and lean back against the lockers behind him with a lazy smirk. His arm slowly moved up and Eddie could see a slip of paper held between his fingers. Steve didn’t break eye contact with him at all as he proceeded to shove the paper between the vents of his locker. They stayed like that for what felt like hours. Staring. Broken when Steve pushed himself off the wall and walked towards him. He didn’t stop. Side stepped around Eddie before they could collide. A faint brush of his fingers along the back of his hand as he walked past him. And Eddie just watched him pass. Just like he watched him slip that note in his locker, he watched Steve walk back down the hall and out the front doors.
He waited only five seconds after the doors closed behind Steve before he jogged over to his locker. Grabbed the note and shoved it into his pocket before running back over to the drama room. Told the guys that they stopped at a decent spot and would meet again next Friday. Walked with them to the parking lot to head home. To catch a glimpse of Steve. And there he was, sitting in his beemer, staring again. This time though, Eddie smiled at him. He smiled at him and pulled the note out of his pocket. Opened it right there in the parking lot while he stared back at Steve. It only took him a few seconds to glance down to read. And as soon as he did, he threw his head back and laughed. Cackled really. He looked back at the beemer and saw Steve with the widest grin. Watched him lift his fingers off the steering wheel and wiggle them at him before he started pulling out of the lot. He looked back down at the note in his hand and chuckled again. Who knew Steve Harrington knew DnD well enough to draw a perfect rendition of an eight sided dice?
Wanna go on a d8? - Steve Harrington xxx-xxx-xxxx
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red-dyed-sarumane · 1 year
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magu needs to make merch with tenshi on it so i can carry her around in my pocket and look at her like a ragged old time coal miner reminding himself of his wife back home that hes doing this for
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