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#i tried to tag everyone i could find a tumblr for but some folks it wouldn't let me
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How to Tell If That Post of Advice Is AI Bullshit
Right, I wasn't going to write more on this, but every time I block an obvious AI-driven blog, five more clutter up the tags. So this is my current (April 2024) advice on how to spot AI posts passing themselves off as useful writing advice.
No Personality - Look up a long-running writing blog, you'll notice most people try to make their posts engaging and coming from a personal perspective. We do this because we're writers and, well, we want to convey a sense of ourselves to our readers. A lot of AI posts are straight-forward - no sense of an actual person writing them, no variation in tone or text.
No Examples - No attempts to show how pieces of advice would work in a story, or cite a work where you could see it in action. An AI post might tell you to describe a person by highlighting two or three features, and that's great, but it's hard to figure out how that works without an example.
Short, Unhelpful Definitions - A lot of what I've seen amount to two or three-sentence listicles. 'When you want to write foreshadowing, include a hint of what you want foreshadowed in an earlier chapter.' Cool beans, could've figured that out myself.
SEO/AI Prompt Language Included - I've seen way too many posts start with "this post is about..." or "now we will discuss..." or "in this post we will..." in every single blog. This language is meant to catch a search engine or is ChatGPT reframing the prompt question. It's not a natural way of writing a post for the average tumblr user.
Oddly Clinical Language - Right, I'm calling out that post that tried to give advice on writing gay characters that called us "homosexuals" the entire time. That's a generative machine trying to stay within certain parameters, not an actual person who knows that's not a word you'd use unless you were trying to be insulting or dunking on your own gay ass in the funniest way possible.
Too Perfect - Most generative AI does not make mistakes (this is how many a student gets caught trying to use it to cheat). You can find ways to make it sound more natural and have it make mistakes, but that takes time and effort, and neither of those are really a factor in these posts. They also tend to have really polished graphics and use the same format every time.
Maximized Tags (That Are Pointless) - Anyone who uses more than 10 one-word tags is a cop. Okay, fine, I'm joking, but there's a minimal amount of tags that are actually useful when promoting a post. More tags are not going to get a post noticed by the algorithm, there is no algorithm. Not everyone has to use their tags to make snarky comments, but if your tags look like a spambot, I'm gonna assume you're a spambot.
No Reblogs From The Rest of Writblr - I'm always finding new Writblr folks who have been around for awhile, but every real person I've seen reblogs posts from other people. We've all got other stuff to do, I'm writing this blog to help others and so are they, the whole point of tumblr is to pass along something you think is great.
While you'll probably see some variation in the future - as people get wise to obviously generated text, they'll try to make it look less generated - but overall, there's still going to be tells to when something is fake.
I don't have any real advice for what to do about this (other than block those blogs, which is what I do). Like most AI bullshit, I suspect most of these blogs are just another grift, attempting to build large follower counts to leverage or sell something to in the future. They may progress past these tattletale features, but I'm still going to block them when I see them. I don't see any value in writing advice compiled from the work of better writers who put the effort in when I can just go find those writers myself.
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shesmore-shoebill · 7 days
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since you mentioned an angel in neon blue as one of your faves…..your top 5 amangela fics perhaps? some honorary mentions too if there’s too many? 👀
Sorry for the delay on this, life got busy and then more busy instead of less busy and I wanted to give this ask its deserved amount of consideration.
anyway. Five is HARD. I will do my best. Order is not indicative of anything bc I've agonized long enough as it is. I've tagged folks + linked directly to their posts where I could find their associated tumblr post, and links to AO3 where I couldn't.
Also I cheated and made a separate list for NSFW ones. Partly because I know some people don't want to read NSFW. and to cheat a little on the 5 restriction.
As always, RPF with F as in fiction. From what I recall, none of these are attempting to speculate or make any actual statements about real people, they're all just works of fiction I like.
if anyone wants me to remove a link to their fic or a tag for any reason, let me know.
close my eyes (and fantasize) by @baflegacy
listen. I am a fucking sucker for well intentioned and realistic miscommunication that stems from care and then goes wrong. I love a thing where someone cares about someone and thats why they're worried and the worry also means they are a little mad and a little hurt bc fuck, i want to help you, why arent you talking to me about this, did i do something, crossed with the other person doing everything in their power to do the exact thing driving them up the wall, because they genuinely care so much about the other person that its skewing their judgement. People who care and people who fuck up. I'll eat it up every time, and this one is written in a way that feels so real. 👌👌👌👌
the devil is in the details by skiespeaches
this is a newer fic and its still in progress atm and so theres a chance it gets bumped into NSFW territory 😅 but im really enjoying it!!! The dynamic between Amanda and Angela takes the competitive edge we can see in videos and makes it into something phenomenal. Its got such strong tension and pacing, and its also got. REALLY GOOD COMMUNICATION. People react realistically and have reasonable fears and doubts but everyone also talks about them and trusts each other and its just so satisfying to read as a result. And it STILL does the tension and the 👀👀👀👀👀 so well. Guess its kind of funny to put this and the prior recc right next to each other but I genuinely love both of these. Communication and humans are weird.
not strong enough by @moviemandy
i love a disaster angela fic as much as anyone but because I feel like that trope is established among smosh rpf, I love having that get subverted even more. More Amanda getting comforted!!! yeah!!!!!And the way the dynamic and emotions are written in this one is especially satisfying to me, they all feel very real, and sweet. :') Also, Im always a sucker for the trope where someone tries to deflect from their issues by taking care of someone else and then gets CALLED OUT FOR IT. also, double bonus, this fic can be read completely platonically. :]
a field of yellow flowers by @unknownteapot
gah this one has so many layers and elements to it, its such a damn delight to reread. the bittersweetness of it all really 👌👌👌👌. Grudging respect and admiration in an awful space, magnetism of people who both deeply want to love each other and really don't (but they do). The world feels very realized and that's so important bc the fic clearly sets up the interplay as like. The two of them and also the world they are in as a distinct three players in the story. This fic has so many emotions!!! gut punch of an end! you feel for both of them so deeply by the end.
i've been having revelations by @poppyfamily
slight cheating bc this is courtmangela but it should still count imo!!! It contains another classic trope of people who care about each other deeply and it being percieved by other people before they clock it themselves. Its something I like specifically as a writing trope and only executed in specific ways- caring deeply and being affectionate does not HAVE to mean you want to sleep with or are in love with someone, and IRL assumptions about that can be. Infuriating. But love how this fic does it. :) Also its funny and it feels very genuine and the voices all sound. right. I love fics with lots of cuts where so much is said in tiny details and tiny moments, it makes the world feel very fleshed out. Also, Courtmangela as a band is just a blessed concept.
NSFW fics:
lets make this bed get squeaky by baflegacy
This rewrote my goddamn brain chemistry actually. Like yes, this one is hot, but the parts that really hooked into my brain are not exclusively the spicy bits. Pining RPF Amanda is SO important to my brain, and that dynamic of an Amanda silently losing her mind and Angela also silently losing her mind but slightly more at peace about it, combined with their very genuine friendship keeping things fine and then. and THEN. well.
personal leisure by unknownteapot
hey this fic is hot as hell. Its extremely well written. But also besides the nsfw parts the banter and the sort of instant connection all feel very real and unforced and i love that the end of the fic feels so open ended but also so light and hopeful and sweet. choosing to believe they meet for coffee the next day and it all goes swimmingly.
like she wants to try me on by baflegacy
this fic is about amanda in the submissive and breedable outfit and angela. It accomplishes eveeything you could want from that. Its Very nsfw. its VERY good. Writing smut is difficult on multiple levels- keeping it logistically and emotionally sound while keeping it spicy. It does all three really well. also the aftercare moment is really sweet. :]
bonus: its the subject of this ask so i didnt include it but shout out to an angel in neon blue- the tension is INCREDIBLE and the way the ending recontextualizes everything and leaves you unsure who was really in control the whole time is like. really impressive. The characterization is SO strong and feels so true to the Sarah Christ we know and creates an equally strong Creekside Killer characterization to juxtapose it. 👌
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ltleflrt · 3 months
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just send the op an ask?
I'm assuming this is in response to my request for gender tags on Tav and Durge posts for bg3 fandom? I hope it came across polite, I am not trying to make waves, I truly think it would be a good idea for the fandom.
You can't see it on this blog, but on my dedicated Astarion side blog I reblog at least 20 things a day, it has a full queue of 1000 plus a few hundred more in the drafts waiting to be queued. I'd probably get flagged for spam if I sent as many asks every day as posts that I'm seeing with unclear Tav/Durge genders lol
And besides! It's not always about stuff I want to reblog! Some days I want to just see the boys! Sometimes just the girls! Maybe I'm feeling trans or enby love, but how the heck am I going to FIND them if people aren't tagging them? The bg3 fandom is booming, and there's no way I could get through all of the thousands of posts to find the niche thing I'm looking for that day if I can't narrow down my search a little bit. Right now I do that by character or pairing, but since there's very little to no gender tagging, that's as far down as I can whittle it.
That's what tagging is for! It's for filtering stuff out, yeah, but the original reason tags were used on tumblr was to FIND STUFF!
Help me find your stuff! Especially since m/f stuff is a lot more prevalent, and I want to find my alphabet soup squaddies in the fandom too!
There are no traditional gender markers that I can trust in a fandom based on a game where you can mix and match the dangly bits, ya know? I can't always use the character name, because it's a fantasy setting, and many names are non-traditional. And not everyone is using pronouns when gushing about their baby in the post captions.
I have mistagged some things I've reblogged because I tried following traditional gender markers. A few of the OPs have messaged me and asked me to fix it, and I am very happy to do so. I love and respect your child and will correct myself.
Buuuuut, if you'd tagged them in the first place, it wouldn't be an issue 😁
Is it really so bad to ask for folks to add a gender tag? Let's get it started now, so that future fandom babies can go on tumblr deep dives and not get lost in the dark depths of general tags.
(To those of you who are already using some kind of tag, thank you, I see you, and I hope you find a pretty rock to decorate your desk with.)
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feretra · 5 months
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ETA: It was brought to my attention by a few very lovely folks that I wasn’t entirely clear about a key point in this post. So before you go any further, allow me to eliminate any confusion about that: I only became aware of Sam’s behaviour after terminating my friendship with her. Much of this comes from deep dives into tags and from google, based on the usernames provided in her previous callout. If you have any other questions or experiences with Sam, you are welcome to reach out to me.
I wasn’t going to do this. It’s the holiday season, and I have limited energy stores, but if I am going to be stalked and gaslit to this extent solely for putting up a boundary? I may as well get a swing in. Because this is what I’m dealing with, and have dealt with, when I simply tried to part on amicable terms:
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The person behind this behavior is breadandbloodybutter — otherwise known as Gig, otherwise known as Samantha — and they have years of extremely dubious behaviour, but they tend to delete their accounts and remake them often so that much of it gets expunged from tumblr and doesn’t follow them. But if you dig deep enough into the archives, you can find hints of what was there.
Sam enjoys writing as or with villains, which is not intrinsically a problem in and of itself. The actual problem? Is that Sam writes writes some extremely questionable roleplay content that should be trigger warned at absolute minimum because it is full of noncon, dubcon, graphic torture, multiple forms of abuse, grooming, murder, cannibalism, and other deeply concerning topics. She has even cosplayed as a murdered kid. There were some hints that I could not fully corroborate — because like I said, so much of her past history is repeatedly deleted that it exists in fragments — but there are implications that some of these topics may have been written with minors. Given the fandoms Sam is in besides Baldur’s Gate tend to be skewed towards a teen to young adult demographic (Hazbin Hotel/Helluva Boss, FNAF, Stephen King’s It, Yugioh, Dragonball), that is not surprising.
But weren’t you and Sam friends? We were. Until Sam used one of her many accounts to share posts about how crushing tracheas under a boot heel and fucking people with loaded guns was sexy (I cannot believe I just typed this out, oof.) As an Indigenous person who has survived extreme violence towards my person that has nearly taken my life, and having seen how it has generationally impacted the people around me, I decided to use this incident as an opportunity to inform everyone who follows me that I did not want to see that sort of violent fetishization on my dash. They can totally post it — especially if you have characters into wackass shit — but please make sure it is tagged adequately and liberally so that people who have gone through similar traumas and know their limits don’t run the risk of being triggered randomly on a Tuesday at 1pm when they’re just trying to enjoy their day.
Sam reached out to me and tagged her posts and I thought we had solved this. Apparently we hadn’t, because Sam was running her mouth not only to other people about this, but on her personal where she was making herself a victim. While missing the point and also telling way too much on herself, because I never once said she was a shitty person. What I was talking about, is how posts like those do not exist in a vacuum. If you can have the privilege to say “oh, this is entirely fictional,” then you live in a world where your body has not become sexualized or a vehicle for violence solely by existing. This is what was being said to me:
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And this is what was going on where she thought I couldn’t see it:
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( This is now deleted, but it was followed up with similar posts reblogged from other people about how it is okay to engage with problematic topics in media, etc. Which is completely missing the forest for the trees. A nice accompaniment to… )
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This post, made yesterday, came a whole three minutes after I finally broke my silence and pointed out that befriending racists who explicitly hated us was an even worse look than whatever it was that was preceding it. Because guess what Sam has done now. But that’s jumping ahead a bit, I think. Because I did give Sam another chance for a few weeks after that debacle. She just completely blew it within a couple weeks to once again write some pretty questionable content. Because hey, posting untagged torture porn is fun, right? And then joking about it?
So @laceratiio and myself both tried to part ways with Sam. Quietly. We even gave her our reasons for why. Sam even seemed fine with this. I don’t have Mirza’s on hand, but here’s mine, for the sake of transparency.
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( I’m leaving the topmost part of this clipped off because it details my trauma and I’ll spare yall that without your consent. That’s not what you’re here for. )
Cue, uh, Sam stalking the shit out of @laceratiio and I for the last few days? Just relentlessly. Which apparently is not a new thing, according to the Sam Archives, if it’s anything to go by:
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I have roughly forty plus images I have saved in my folder of receipts about Sam at this point. They range from her not understanding how she is manipulating the people around her:
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To straight up joking about noncon with the implication being about minors:
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And a lot of wanting to be the victim in any given situation, even though she is the one antagonizing people who are just wanting to be left alone —
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Is this meant to be a callout? I don’t know. I don’t know what the fuck this is. I just see a lot of red fucking flags about someone I once called a friend because they hid a lot about themselves and I think I want to warn people, honestly. That’s what I think this is. If I have to otherwise lose my sanity over the course of this goddamn weekend.
Reblog if you want. It’s up to you.
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werewolf-cl4ws · 1 year
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Hello again! Another long gap between posts but for the last few months creative stuff has been kinda hard/not quite hitting the right notes.
But I stumbled onto some folks doing "Wholesome Sonic and Tails Wednesdays" and it set me off on my current obsession on just wanting to dive a little more into my version of these two's relationship and such.
But this is also me and I had to connect it to some angst . Or more specifically my AU of an AU involving my TimeSkip stuff where Sally is the one that goes missing and I accidentally made it more traumatising for Sonic lol
This got long, too. Like 7916 words long. I don't know how long that takes to read but I did want to warn people that it got long just in case.
I've also never done content warnings before so bear with me here. There's mentions of trauma, disordered eating, and old people being yelled at. I'm trying to be more mindful of content I write for warnings just in case.
I also made a universal tag for this version of my TimeSkip AU so they're easier to find. Hopefully. This is Tumblr.
It was a little after midday when Tails ventured towards the edge of Neo Knothole, his breath puffing white in the chilled air as he stomped through the fresh layer of snow that had fallen the night before.
To him it wasn’t too cold, his thicker winter coat along with his padded jacket making short work of the cold, but the village was quiet at this time of the day as almost everyone had retreated indoors to escape the ever lowering temperatures. Even on this journey Tails swore he encountered maybe two other mobians the most, and they too were also heading indoors, not wanting to deal with the cold any more than they had to.
Which meant that maybe, just maybe, he could convince a certain recluse of a hedgehog outside.
For the last couple of days Bunnie had been ill, unfortunately thanks to the winter chill she had caught a particularly nasty cold that all but completely knocked the cyborg rabbit off her feet. She had tried valiantly to continue her duties of watching over the village, but after barely making it through the first day of her illness the remaining Freedom Fighters had forced her to go to bed and rest, and took turns to make sure she stayed put while attending to other duties in her absence.
Before she reluctantly gave in, Bunnie had also asked Tails to check in on Sonic to make sure that in Bunnie’s absence he didn’t fall into his own trap of bitter solitude. Which he was doing now that he had finally gotten a small break from his imposed duties.
Tails couldn’t help the wince of sympathy at the thought. It had been about seven months since Sonic’s return, maybe more, and the hedgehog was... Tails wasn’t really sure what he could say about Sonic’s current condition. Sonic had gone through many changes – both figuratively and literally – and they had all compounded into making Sonic withdraw from the world. Doubly so since he had his own hut built, where he had chosen to have located so far out from the rest of the village that Tails felt like he was trekking into an unknown world through the snow to reach him.
Up until this point Bunnie had been mainly looking after Sonic, with Bookshire’s help and on occasion the other Freedom Fighters in the rare moments that Sonic allowed them to. Tails had stepped in a few times himself, and whenever he did Sonic always seemed okay, but Tails could sense the underlining misery Sonic was trying to hide from him, which made Sonic gently push the fox away for both their sakes.
It probably didn’t help Sonic either that Sally was still missing, and with his main voice of reason and means of grounding himself gone, the hedgehog seemed to be utterly lost and endlessly spiralling in this new chapter.
Tails’ chest tightened at the reminder of his adoptive aunt’s disappearance, and he forced a gulp of freezing air into his lungs to get it to loosen. Everyone was feeling Sally’s absence, but Sonic had been gone when Sally went missing, so Tails could imagine how shocking that would have been to him. So much so that everyone feared that it actually broke him.
Well, despite all that, Tails still wanted to make an attempt. He just prayed that he could catch Sonic in one of his seemingly rare good graces today.
Eventually he reached Sonic’s hut, and took a moment to stand on his porch and catch his breath before knocking on the door. He waited, his long ears perked for any signs of life inside, then frowned when he heard nothing. The fox tried again, only to get the same result, and for a brief moment Tails wondered if maybe Sonic had actually left his hut for once on his own accord.
Glancing around himself Tails quickly dismissed the thought. Sonic hated the cold, and under normal circumstances he would usually do anything in his power to stay inside where it was warm. The cold would just be another reason for Sonic to back up his antisocial behaviour.
When no signs of life made themselves obvious however Tails sighed, and took a chance with the doorhandle. To his surprise the door was unlocked, and he pushed the door open to allow himself inside.
The hut was dark, with only some spots of light coming through the few shutters that weren’t completely shut or blocked by the forest surrounding Sonic’s hut outside. Tails’ night vision was able to kick in thanks to those bits of light, which allowed him to take in the disarray the hut had gotten into.
Sonic had always been a messy mobian, but Tails always remembered Sonic’s hut being more organised chaos than a straight up mess. Tails had to wonder if it always looked like this, or if everything began piling up after Bunnie got sick and stopped checking in on Sonic. Tails also wondered how Sonic managed to accumulate so much stuff in such a short amount of time – even with the few belongings Tails had managed to salvage from Knothole for Sonic on the chance of his return, he doubted he had managed to save this much.
As Tails looked around his eyes focused onto Sonic’s bed, spotting what looked like the hedgehog’s entire collection of blankets piled on top of it, and somewhere in that mass a pillow. The only thing that gave Sonic’s true position away was his long tail sticking out from under the blankets, as he could see and hear the tip of it slapping irritably against the floorboards. Which told Tails that Sonic was awake, and aware of his presence.
“No,” Sonic muttered, his voice muffled yet stern.
“I haven’t even said anythin’ yet,” Tails sighed as he stepped closer to Sonic’s side, making sure to glance down at the floor with each step so that he wouldn’t trip over anything.
To his surprise however the tip of Sonic’s tail stopped twitching, and Sonic lifted his pillow just enough so that he could peek out from under it so he could look at Tails. In the darkness Sonic’s amber eyes reflected strangely, for a brief moment making the hedgehog look wild to Tails, and his slit pupils widened as they tried to catch more light to see better.
“Oh. Hey, Big Guy,” Sonic greeted one he spotted Tails, all traces of any annoyance gone from his voice. “Wha’ are you doin’ here?”
As he said this Sonic pushed himself into a sitting position, dragging his mountain of blankets with him. In that instance Tails wished he could point out the irony of being referred to his old term of endearment, but knew better as he didn’t want to upset Sonic.
Tails by now was thirteen, and puberty had hit him with a growth spurt that shot him up to almost five foot in height, maybe more. While to an average Mobian that would be considered tall, Sonic’s own growth spurt thanks to his mutation made him tower over everyone at over six foot, beating Tails easily.
His height, combined with the other changes his mutation had granted him, gave Sonic a pretty imposing silhouette that made him stand out, which Sonic was very, very aware of. Hence his new habit of becoming a recluse whenever he wasn’t being badgered by Bunnie into forced social interactions.
Which hadn’t been happening since Bunnie was sick, and Tails realised that Sonic was most likely enjoying the peace. If one could call this enjoying. Which Tails couldn’t considering what he was seeing at the moment.
“Bunnie wanted me to check up on you,” Tails explained, his ear twitching at the frustrated huff that shoved itself out of Sonic’s chest. “She’s uh, she’s actually sick at the moment.”
The brief grimace of annoyance that had crossed Sonic’s face dropped, instantly replaced by genuine concern at the mention of his friend being sick. Which brought some relief to Tails, as he had to admit there were some days where Sonic’s compassion for others got swallowed completely by his own mental baggage. Tails understood why it happened, but the stark contrast of genuine indifference verses Sonic’s bluntness was staggering to Tails.
“She’s sick? What’s wrong wit’ her?” Sonic asked as he turned to face Tails completely, though his hunched his shoulders greatly to make himself appear somewhat smaller. Even then he still almost towered Tails, but now they were at least at each other’s eye level.
“It’s nothin’ serious, just a bad cold,” Tails assured. “She’s been in bed for the last three days now.”
“Three days? Shit, it must be hittin’ her hard,” Sonic winced. “So why are you here? Ain’t someone lookin’ after her?”
“We’re keepin’ an eye on her, ‘nd she’s restin’ up most o’ the time,” Tails explained. “But I’m here ‘cause she told me to make sure you’re not holin’ yourself up in here while she’s out o’ action.”
Sonic huffed a short laugh and waved Tails off, before wrapping his blankets closer around himself so he could lie back down.
“You don’t need to do that, just worry about Bunnie,” Sonic assured. “I ain’t goin’ nowhere or doin’ nothin’ so you don’t need to be here.”
“But you do need to be goin’ somewhere ‘nd doin’ somethin’, you can’t just stay in here all the time,” Tails pointed out. “So get up ‘nd get dressed.”
Sonic tilted his head at Tails, giving him a deadpan look for being ordered around. Most of the time Sonic rebelled hard whenever Bunnie tried to coax him to do anything, still very much in the mindset of everything feeling pointless and not wanting to be part of the world.
But he did this because he knew Bunnie was just as stubborn as he was, more so whenever it came to someone’s wellbeing, and could handle him being a jerk on his rough days. With Tails it was a little harder to want to push back, even when every fibre of his being wanted to.
Which is probably why Bunnie sent Tails over to him in her absence.
Sonic sighed, the sound rolling into a soft growl at the back of his throat. He pulled one half of his blanket cocoon away from himself to reveal that he was wearing something, though Tails noticed that they were obviously Sonic’s night clothes.
“I mean get dressed in somethin’ for the day. It’s pretty cold outside,” Tails clarified, raising an eyebrow at his brother.
“I thought you were tryin’ to convince me to get outta here,” Sonic gritted. “’nd either way no. I feel like shit ‘nd don’t wanna do nothin’.”
“Yeah, ‘cause you’ve been in here for three days straight doin’ nothin’,” Tails pointed out, making Sonic roll his eyes. “C’mon. Just come outside for a bit, please?”
“Why? I’m just gonna end up back here anyway,” Sonic retorted.
“Do you have food?” Tails asked. “’nd on top o’ that have you eaten at all?”
“’course I have,” Sonic gritted, though as he said this Sonic’s eyes flicked away from Tails, making the fox frown. “’nd I’ve got food, so I don’t have to go anywhere.”
“Show me.”
With a flurry of frustration Sonic threw his blanket cocoon off him, then stalked over to his kitchen cupboard. Before Bunnie got sick she had been helping Sonic keep his food supplies topped up, giving him supplies that he could store without the risk of them spoiling too fast and make a decent enough meal with very little effort. Between that she would make him some meals and treats – which were limited given their own food surpluses – as she was at a point that she had to convince Sonic to eat as his low points even made eating seem like a hassle.
“There, look,” Sonic stated as he threw open his cupboard.
Only to realise that there wasn’t anything in said cupboard, not even a scrap of what used to be in there to show any proof that he did have food in there at one stage. Somehow Sonic had managed to go through his supplies without realising it, and considering how easily he lost track of time, Sonic wouldn’t be able to tell anyone when he had last ate either.
Sonic slapped the cupboard shut, and pointedly looked away from Tails.
“Don’t look,” Sonic muttered.
“Get dressed, we’re gettin’ food,” Tails retorted.
“I hate you.”
“No you don’t.”
“I don’t but I dislike you a lot.”
This was said as Sonic stalked back towards his dresser, barely giving Tails another glance as he could feel the smugness radiating from the fox. Which made him a little resentful at how powerless he was at the moment. Sonic knew he could easily shove Tails out of his hut and slam the door in his face, but Sonic still had enough sense in his mind to not be that much of a jerk.
At least for now.
He still rebelled by taking his time in getting dressed, on the off chance that if he dragged this ordeal out long enough Tails would give in. However when he emerged from his bathroom Sonic couldn’t help but wilt a little at the seemingly infinite amount of patience Tails was still showing. The fox even had the nerve to nod approvingly at seeing Sonic dressed and groomed to look somewhat presentable, despite the fact that Sonic had done the very bare minimum there also.
“The second someone stares at me I’m out,” Sonic warned as he shoved his hands into the front pocket of his hoodie, still needing to show some defiance at his current situation.
“There’s hardly anyone around, ‘nd even then I can’t stop them from lookin’,” Tails reasoned. “You need to give this a chance.”
“I don’t like it when they stare,” Sonic huffed.
Tails’ ears twitched at the way Sonic’s voice wavered with those words, and some of his resilience withered. Bunnie had warned him about how hard it was to get Sonic to do, well, anything, which was a stark contrast to what Tails was used to with the hedgehog. It was part of why Bunnie had taken it upon herself to work with Sonic, and the last few months after Sonic’s return Tails hadn’t had much contact with Sonic as he would have liked despite the circumstances.
He still only knew a few details of what exactly Sonic had been through during his disappearance, just enough to understand why Sonic’s wasn’t himself. The growth spurt from his mutation after his return didn’t help matters either. But it still hurt to see everything compounding onto Sonic and dragging him down into this misery when once upon a time hardly anything could bring Sonic down.
It only made Tails want to fight harder, as he was sure if the roles were reversed Sonic would be dragging Tails out of his hut kicking and screaming just to help him out of whatever funk he was in.
“If they stare for more than ten seconds we can come back,” Tails offered. “Normal seconds.”
Sonic’s ears perked at the offer, then his frown deepened.
“Five seconds,” Sonic countered.
“Ten,” Tails rebutted.
“Four.”
“Nine.”
“Six.”
“Eight or I’m droppin’ the offer.”
“Ugh, fine!”
Tails led Sonic to the village, making sure to keep his pace even with the hedgehog so that he could keep him in his sights at all times. Both so that he could make sure that Sonic wasn't getting genuinely overwhelmed, and to keep an eye out for any signs that he was going to do a runner despite their agreement. Not that Tails had any way of stopping Sonic really, but after enduring more debating and rebelling from him Tails wanted to make this last for at least a good while before either of them threw in the towel.
After a few minutes of trekking through the snow the two reached the centre of the village, and Tails glanced back at Sonic to see how he was fairing. The hedgehog held his head low, his hands deep in the front pocket of his hoodie, and while he didn't shows signs that he was preparing to do a runner, the combination of being outside in the cold and doing something against his will had left him looking quite sour. Tails felt his heart drop a little at Sonic's expression, and wondered if he could keep this up. He was determined to keep Sonic occupied in Bunnie's absence, but the thought of genuinely upsetting Sonic didn't sit well with him.
It wasn't helping either that as they walked through the village Tails realised that there were more mobians out and about than he had previously seen. They were most likely doing some last minute chores or errands before they hunkered down for the night that seemed to come earlier and earlier every day, but Tails had still hoped that they would have been inside way earlier than now.
When some of the villagers saw Tails they greeted him warmly, but true to Sonic's prediction their friendly demeanours faltered the second they spotted Sonic, some even stilling in their tracks with clear fear on their faces that Tails was barely able to break them out of by greeting them back.
Tails kept moving, not wanting to look at Sonic or his own reaction, but at the corner of his eye he could see Sonic's pace starting to slow as he fell back, each stare making him flinch like he had been struck. Tails mentally cursed at the villagers, and fell back so he could be by Sonic's side again.
"C'mon, we'll just grab some food from the Mess Hall," Tails reminded Sonic, hoping that his voice sounded more confident than he felt.
Right at that moment another villager came by them, and just like the others they stopped and stared at Sonic. Tails almost barked at them to keep moving, but stopped himself when Sonic yanked the hood of his hoodie hard over his head and pulled the drawstrings to hide his face from the villagers.
"I'm pretty sure that was more than eight seconds, Tails," Sonic growled, pointedly looking ahead of himself as he waited for the villager to leave.
Tails felt his heart drop at the clear anger in Sonic's voice, and when he tried to answer he felt himself get tongue-tied, what little confidence he had on handling the situation gone in an instant. Even with Sonic's face obscured Tails could see he was glaring at him too, and Tails had to remind himself not to stare in fear at the hedgehog himself in that moment.
"Fox boy! Stop right there, fox boy!"
Now fear snapped through the fox, and in an instant he grabbed Sonic by his arm and yanked him forward to force him to keep walking.
"No Tails, I'm done! Wha' the hell are you doin'?" Sonic snapped. He tried to pull his arm away from Tails, only to be surprised by the death-like grip he had on him.
"Please just keep walkin'," Tails hissed, before he yelped as he was suddenly pulled back by his shoulder.
Sonic was nearly taken back with him, and he turned to try to figure out what had just happened. Only to discover the grouchiest old possum he had ever seen in his entire life standing in front of Tails and giving him a glare that Sonic swore could turn a field of flowers brown in an instant.
Tails meanwhile wished the ground would open up and swallow him whole, but when that didn't happen he addressed the possum, his smile crooked and forced.
"Oh hey, Mr. Rootgravel. I didn't see--"
"Don't you "Hey Mr. Rootgravel" me, fox boy!" the possum interrupted, banging the end of his walking stick into the snowy ground with every word. "You said you were going to fix my fence. And it still hasn't been done!"
Tails barely hid a wince, his ears folding back briefly as he took a soft breath to try to centre himself. He hadn’t expected this particular villager to be out at this time of the day, only because the older possum seemed to haunt Tails’ shadow in the earlier hours of the day. He glanced in Sonic’s direction, noticing the hint of confusion in his eyes, but there was still a good amount of frustration there, too, which made Tails realise he needed to sort this out quickly before he had two angry mobians in his hands.
“Mr. Rootgravel I told you, it doesn’t need fixin’,” Tails explained. “I even checked it yesterday.”
“No, you said you would fix it! And I saw you looking at it yesterday, you barely gave it a glance!” Mr. Rootgravel snapped.
“I did look at it, ‘nd it’s fine. There’s nothin’ for me to do to it,” Tails explained, his voice just barely levelled.
“Now you’re just being lazy! I was told that you and those two other boys were in charge of the village and you’ve been doing squat for no one. Why the village has been left in charge of a little brat like you I’ll never know, you young ones wouldn’t know a hard day’s work if it bit you in the face,” Mr Rootgravel ranted, his voice rising in volume as he rambled.
Tails gaped at the possum, looking like he had just been punched in the gut. He tried to say something back, but like before he became tongue-tied, his words just forming so thickly in his mouth that he couldn’t speak.
As he struggled Sonic frowned at the display, then stepped over so that he was slightly in between Tails and Mr. Rootgravel, trying to coax Tails into standing behind him so that he could shield off any more attacks from the old man.
“Hey, pal. That doesn’t sound like Tails at all. Lay off him, wouldja?” Sonic stated, holding his hands up in a non-threatening manner.
Unlike the other villagers, Mr Rootgravel didn’t seem to recognise Sonic, instead only seeing him as a tall loudmouth that was covering his face. So he jabbed Sonic in the chest with his walking stick, pulling out a sharp yelp from Sonic.
“Stay out of this, stringbean!” Mr. Rootgravel snapped, giving Sonic another few jabs in the chest in an attempt to make him back off.
Before anyone could react, Sonic grabbed the walking stick and yanked it clean out of Mr. Rootgravel’s hand. Without breaking eye contact with the possum Sonic tossed the stick aside, and Tails watched as it sailed over a good few metres away from them, landing on a hut’s roof.
Stunned, Tails turned back to Mr. Rootgravel and watched as he gaped at Sonic, then his face twisted into a new wave of anger that turns his salt and pepper fur red in the face.
“That’s my walking stick! I need that!” Mr. Rootgravel hollered.
“Then you shouldn’t o’ poked me wit’ it, you old fart!” Sonic snarled, and Tails swore a part of his soul died right there and then. “Now wha’ the hell is your deal anyway?”
“You can’t hear me up there?!” Mr. Rootgravel yelled, then cupped his hands over his mouth in an exaggerated imitation of a megaphone. “I said this lazy fox boy needs to fix my fence. Now!”
“’nd he said it doesn’t need fixin’!” Sonic boomed back.
“It does! And I want it done now!”
“Show me this stupid fence,” Sonic snarled.
“Not without my walking stick, stringbean.”
Sonic rolled his eyes, then cocked his head towards where he had tossed the stick.
“Get the stupid thin’ down so we can get this sorted out, Tails,” Sonic muttered.
Tails winced at the request, then slinked up to Sonic’s side, his tails curling around his legs.
“It’s okay, I can look at it later. You don’t have to do this,” Tails mumbled.
Sonic shook his head, tossing another frown at Mr. Rootgravel before he looked at Tails.
“He’s not gonna fuck off until he thinks this is sorted. ‘nd I ain’t leavin’ you alone wit’ him,” Sonic assured. “Just go get the stupid stick.”
Tails hesitated, but when he glanced at Mr. Rootgravel once more the old man was glaring daggers at the two of them, his arms crossed over his chest as he waited for someone to do something. Tails sighed and twirled his namesakes to fetch down the walking stick, but he couldn’t help but feel frustrated at this turn of events.
Once Tails retrieved the walking stick Mr. Rootgravel led the two back to where his hut was situated, which wasn’t too far from the village centre. As the three approached the hut Sonic looked around the area, and couldn’t help but notice that compared to all the other huts in the area, and beyond, only Mr. Rootgravel’s hut was surrounded by a wooden picket fence. The fence even cut in between the gap between his hut and the one next to him, with the gap being just barely a metre wide considering the limited space of the village entirely.
Sonic’s mouth twisted with disgust at what he saw. New Knothole was small, hosting maybe thirty to forty mobians the most on the surface, and another thirty in Lower Mobius last he checked. While for some that might not be the most ideal living arrangement, the village was quiet, homely, and everyone was willing to share their space as there were only so many luxuries that could be spared given their circumstances. The thought of one villager being this demanding over something so unnecessary made Sonic’s quills prickle.
“Why are you the only one wit’ a fence anyway?” Sonic asked, needing to resolve this for himself.
“Because I wanted one. This is my home after all, I demand privacy!” Mr. Rootgravel growled.
“It’s a village. If you wanted privacy go live in a tree. Or Lower Mobius. Or in the forest away from all o’ us,” Sonic pointed out, before adding under his breath, “Preferably inna ditch.”
“I wanted a hut, and I wanted a fence. So I got both,” Mr. Rootgravel gritted. “End of story.”
“Wha’ever,” Sonic sighed, reaching up to pinch the bridge of his muzzle as he swore he could feel a headache starting. “Just show me where it’s busted.”
Mr Rootgravel led him to a section where the fence opened as a hinged gate. When they were close enough Mr. Rootgravel used his walking stick to tap at the gate, pulling Sonic’s attention to the damage that had gotten him so worked up.
“Here, this needs to be fixed,” Mr. Rootgravel stated.
Sonic crouched down and looked at where the possum was pointing to, then frowned, not quite seeing what the problem was. Sonic didn’t really consider himself anywhere near a handyman, as those sorts of jobs were usually left to Rotor to handle – and apparently to Tails now, too – but even he knew how to spot something that would need repairs.
He turned to Tails, hoping for a clue of some kind as he felt like this was something that should have been very obvious to anyone involved. Only to have the fox shrug helplessly at him. Sonic pressed his lips together into a thin line, then sighed, hating everything.
“... I ain’t seein’ it,” Sonic admitted at a length.
He barely flinched when Mr. Rootgravel tapped at the gate rapidly with his stick, as if that was going to clear up the issue as now the possum was opting to not waste any more words on Sonic. Sonic tried to focus on where he was tapping, and eventually he realised that the picket panel had somehow been snapped near the top, leaving a splintered mess.
At least, that’s all he could see. Which made Sonic slow blink at the fence as a quiet sort of rage began bubble through him.
“You’re kiddin’, right?” Sonic asked, then pointed at the broken picket. “Is that all?”
“Is that all?!” Mr. Rootgravel snarled. “It’s broken! Look at it, it’s making the gate uneven, I can’t have it looking like that!”
Sonic had to stare at the fence for a moment longer to consider his life choices and how he ended up here, then took in a slow, deep breath. When he released it, Sonic grabbed the broken panel, and with one sharp motion he yanked it off, pulling it free from the gate with a squeal of loosening nails.
“There,” Sonic said simply, tossing the picket aside as he stood up, dusting his hands off. “Now leave Tails alone, you old coot.”
Tails stared at Sonic in horror, feeling his blood run cold. He didn’t even dare look at Mr. Rootgravel, as he could practically feel the rage that was rising in the old possum, but he could hear him sputtering as he tried to comprehend just what had happened. And when he did, Mr. Rootgravel shrieked.
“How dare you do that to my property?!” Mr. Rootgravel hollered.
“How dare you harass Tails over somethin’ so stupid?!” Sonic snapped back, his voice so loud that it startled both Tails and Mr. Rootgravel. “You shouldn’t even have this fuckin’ thin’ in the first place, ‘nd you think you can order Tails around when he’s busy lookin’ after more important things?”
Before Mr. Rootgravel could protest further Sonic loomed over him, making sure to get as close as he was able to against the old possum before he yanked the hood of his hoodie down, revealing his face. The moment Mr. Rootgravel caught sight of Sonic’s full appearance he froze, the words forming in his mouth faltering as he gaped at Sonic, he outrage and entitlement completely evaporating.
Usually such a sight would have Sonic backing down, as he honestly hated the idea of scaring anyone. But after spending the last few minutes with the old possum Sonic needed this encounter to end as quickly as possible, even if it meant having someone genuinely be afraid of him.
“Now, I’m only gonna say this once. ‘cause if I see you buggin’ him, or anyone else about anythin’ this stupid again, I’m gonna come back here ‘nd take another picket until this whole damn thin’ is gone. Leave. Tails. Alone,” Sonic snarled, before gritting his teeth, pulling his lips back enough so that the possum got a full view of them. “Got it?”
Mr. Rootgravel continued staring at Sonic, his words seemingly going right over his head. It was only when Sonic clicked his teeth together that he snapped out of his stupor, but only long enough to give Sonic a half nod in confirmation. Sonic figured that was good enough, and he took in another calming breath before he cocked his head towards Mr. Rootgravel’s hut.
“Go home. ‘nd don’t let me catch you bein’ a jerk anymore.”
Tails watched in awe as the once feisty old man half hobbled, half ran through his gate and back into his hut, barely giving him or Sonic a backwards glance. Once he disappeared into his hut Tails felt some relief, but he couldn’t help the pang of guilt that flashed through him at the same time. The last thing he wanted to do was drag Sonic into some silly drama, especially after he had reassured Sonic that his first trip out of his hut in who knew how long was going to be a good thing.
Even as he looked up at Sonic he could see the below surface rage that was now rushing through the hedgehog, and Tails was sure that after this Sonic would not want to set foot outside ever again.
“Sonic, I--" Tails began.
“Has he really been messin’ wit’ you this whole time?” Sonic cut in.
Tails hesitated, his gaze falling down to his feet as he desperately wanted the subject to be dropped. He felt bad enough as it was having Sonic get involved, but what Mr. Rootgravel had said earlier about him being in charge and supposedly doing a poor job of it had really gotten to Tails. That, alongside utterly failing to help Sonic in the short period he was looking out for him, made Tails realise that he wasn’t very good at being responsible as he thought he was.
As he looked down at the snowy ground Sonic forced himself into Tails’ view, and to his surprise the hedgehog’s expression was a look of genuine concern.
“Tails, tell me the truth. Has he been messin’ wit’ you?” Sonic asked again, his voice gentle now.
Tails blinked at Sonic, then sighed before he nodded, feeling defeated. He heard Sonic click his tongue in frustration, and the hedgehog straightened, going quiet as he thought for a moment.
“Has anyone else been buggin’ you?” Sonic asked.
“Everyone else has been fine but... I guess there are a couple o’ villagers that are gettin’ a bit impatient?” Tails offered. “I thought I was doin’ okay but if he got that mad...”
“Show me who,” Sonic demanded. “Let’s sort ‘em out too before they pull anythin’ like this on you.”
Tails gaped at Sonic, then shook his head, his eyes pleading now.
“Don’t worry about it! I’m supposed to be lookin’ after the village, not you. This is too much!” Tails protested.
“Oh no. You think you’re the only one that can go draggin’ folks outta their problems?” Sonic countered as he stood, setting a fist on his hip as he regarded Tails. “Spill it, bro. Who else has been tryin’ to push you around?”
Tails still tried to protest against Sonic’s request, but when Sonic threatened to go around the village to figure it out himself Tails yielded, not wanting the hedgehog be let loose on the village in such a way that it would risk Bunnie needing to intervene while still sick.
So he led Sonic to any villagers her remembered approaching him over the last few days that he hadn’t been able to assist, or had tried settling their issues only to have them repeatedly come back to him in an attempt to get Tails to do what they asked.
To Tails’ surprise despite Sonic’s clear discomfort at being seen and gawked at by the villagers, he seemed to push that discomfort aside so that he could play bodyguard for Tails. He even stepped in when arguments started to get heated with the few villagers that refused to see reason, taking full advantage of his towering height and wild look to intimidate said villagers into either agreeing with Tails’ recommendations, or to outright abandon their frivolous demands.
They were also able to resolve quite a few legitimate issues that had been lingering in the village when other villagers caught wind of what the duo were doing. While Sonic’s attitude towards any villagers that were less that hospitable was to push back tenfold, Tails witnessed Sonic being quite compassionate and understanding to those that were just flustered with their situation, even as they hesitated at Sonic’s appearance at first. It was in these moments that Tails could see Sonic’s old self shining through, and as they day moved on one by one the villagers seemed to become more comfortable around the hedgehog, and vice versa.
Eventually though the two began to tire out, and a few hours after the sun had set they decided to stop for the day, reasoning that everyone was now retiring for the night as it was, and that it would be too dark and cold to do much else anyway.
Upon that agreement Sonic had begun wandering back to his hut with barely another word to Tails. Tails had taken this as a cue for him to depart to his own hut, until Sonic called back to him.
“Hey! You promised me food,” Sonic pointed out. “Go grab some ‘nd have dinner at my place, yeah?”
Tails was ecstatic for the offer, and rushed over to the Mess Hall to gather up some food for both of them, making it just in time before the majority of the food on offer was packed away. About ten minutes later Tails was back at Sonic’s hut, and balancing his two plates on one arm he entered the hut.
The contrast of what he had walked into earlier that afternoon to now was like night and day, even in the short amount of time the two were separated. The pile of blankets that Sonic had been using as his messy cocoon were now folded somewhat neatly on the end of his bed, the hut was well lit thanks to the overhead lighting, and it looked like Sonic had tidied up the few stray belongings he had that were scattered all over the floor, as Tails didn’t need to watch where he was stepping.
The only thing that almost matched what he had walked into that afternoon was Sonic lying on his bed with his head buried under his pillow. Which would explain why Sonic had asked Tails to get some food instead of picking it out himself with him, as it seemed like Sonic was more overwhelmed than Tails had realised.
For a moment Tails wondered if the two of them had pushed Sonic’s limits too far, and considered taking a raincheck on Sonic’s offer of having dinner together. But as Tails approached Sonic’s side the hedgehog lifted his pillow slightly, then sat up fully once he realised it was Tails.
“Sorry, I needed a sec o’ not bein’ vertical,” Sonic explained as he brushed down his quills with his hands, getting them somewhat back in line along his neck and back. “Man, that was a long day.”
“Yeah, but you survived. So that’s gotta count for somethin’, right?” Tails smirked as he passed Sonic his plate.
Sonic laughed, then cocked his head to motion for Tails to sit on the bed with him.
“Can’t argue that. But I ain’t gonna lie, my social card is totally punched out.”
As Tails made himself comfortable on Sonic’s bed he watched the hedgehog start on his food, glad to see that there wasn’t any hesitation. While Tails was getting their food he had realised that Sonic hadn’t eaten all day, and without knowing just how long it had been since his last decent meal Tails was worried that Sonic wouldn’t be up for eating, despite asking him to get food. Tails had tried picking out things he hoped were enticing enough to the hedgehog, but was relieved to see that at this point Sonic just wanted any food.
“I think mine is, too. But on the bright side that just means tomorrow there will be less to do,” Tails pointed out. “’nd thanks for helpin’ me out. I’m sorry that I let it all get so outta hand.”
Sonic paused mid-bite, before he sighed and set his fork down.
“No, I’m the one that let it all get outta hand. Not you, bro,” Sonic said. “You shouldn’t have to be pickin’ up the slack like that.”
Tails tilted his head at Sonic, his eyebrows furrowing with confusion.
“Wha’ do you mean? It’s not your fault so many villagers needed help,” Tails said.
“That’s not wha’ I’m talkin’ about,” Sonic clarified. “Wit’ Bunnie outta commission you should have someone else you can turn to for help, but instead I was makin’ everythin’ more difficult for you. ’nd on top o’ that I didn’t even know she was sick, or that folks were strugglin’, all ‘cause I was stuck in my own head. That ain’t right.”
Tails frowned, then shook his head firmly.
“You went through a lot o’ stuff though, Sonic. ‘nd we know it’s gonna take you some time to recover,” Tails explained. “We just want you to be okay.”
“I know, but I ain’t gettin’ okay. I have to get pushed just to do the bare minimum, ‘nd even then I don’t do that wit’out makin’ it a whole drama,” Sonic sighed. “I’m sorry, Tails.”
The apology startled Tails. Not that it was rare or anything like that for Sonic to admit his mistakes, even in his own ways. But because it never occurred to Tails that he would have anything to apologise for. Like Tails had said since Sonic’s return everyone that was able to worked alongside the hedgehog to help him recover, just wanting him to get better for his own sake.
The journey though had been rough, especially after Sonic’s third mutation that seemed to have cause Sonic to completely fall apart. It had been scary to witness at first, as Tails was so used to Sonic being so brave and confident not just in himself but in everyone around him. Watching Sonic withdraw completely from the world was surreal at best.
Everyone had tried so hard to help him, but Tails knew what was missing. It was missing for everyone else as well, and even though everyone had been able to move on in their own ways, that missing detail still hung at everyone’s neck like an albatross.
“I’m sure it would have been easier if Sally was here,” Tails voiced, knowing he had guessed right when Sonic stiffened.
Sally’s disappearance was still a hard topic to bring up with anyone. Coupled with Sonic’s disappearance there were times that everyone had felt hopeless, and they had all switched from wanting to fight back against the rising threat that had come out of nowhere, to wanting to just survive.
It didn’t help either that earlier attempts at tracking down Sally and Sonic had led them into wild goose chases that involved freakishly accurate illusions of their leaders. Over time said illusions would bait whoever were chasing them down into dangers they would just barely escape, or worse, distractions that left others in danger until it was almost too late. It had been a collective, yet hard decision amongst the Freedom Fighters to let their leaders go in exchange for their own safety, and just pray that somehow they would find their true selves alive and well someday.
“… yeah, it would have,” Sonic murmured, and Tails could hear the slight tremor in Sonic’s voice as Sonic looked away from him.
“You guys are helpin’, I don’t want to diss that,” Sonic added. “It’s just that… I dunno. Sal just knew how to not make me feel like a freak. Unc did, too, but he ain’t here either. ‘nd wit’ everythin’ else that’s happened to me I just keep wonderin’ wha’ they’d think o’ me now. But then I go back to ‘em not bein’ here ‘nd—-“
Sonic cut himself off, clicking his teeth together loudly like he needed to physically bite his words. Tails could see his eyes shining over with unshed tears and felt his own throat constrict at his brother’s turmoil.
“I don’t wanna dump that on you, bro. This is already too much,” Sonic sighed as he rubbed the heel of his hand into his eyes to chase off the tears. “But I wanna try to get back into the swin’ o’ things. There’s no way I can let you guys do everythin’ on your own no more.”
“Today was a good start I think. I mean it did take a while for you to get started, but once you got into it you seemed okay,” Tails stated. “So, we could just take it a day atta time, y’know?”
“That works for me. ‘cause really I don’t have a clue wha’ I can do no more,” Sonic admitted.
“Well I already know you can shut down grumpy old men,” Tails laughed, drawing a snort from Sonic. “Seriously, even Bunnie’s been havin’ trouble wit’ that guy.”
“That’s ‘cause she’s tryin’ to be a good guy. I don’t care if people get prissy wit’ me,” Sonic shrugged. “‘nd if he does harass you again tell me, I don’t care wha’ I’m doin’ or how I’m feelin’, he ain’t gettin’ away wit’ that.”
“I think after today he’s probably never gonna leave his hut again,” Tails teased.
“Good. That means I can knock his stupid fence over. Seriously, why does he even have that thin’?” Sonic muttered as he jabbed at some food on his plate with his fork with a little more force than needed.
“Also didja hear wha’ he called me? Stringbean?” Sonic added, outrage clear in his voice. “That’s like the last damn thin’ I would have thought anyone would call me. Such an asshole.”
“That’s how he is. But lookin’ back on it now, it was pretty funny when you tossed his walkin’ stick onto the roof,” Tails snickered. “I thought for sure he was gonna blow an artery when you did that.”
“Well he shouldn’t o’ poked me wit’ it,” Sonic smirked. “Though don’t tell Bunnie I did that. ‘nd then yelled at him. Or that I yelled at that other guy that was just bein’ lazy about gettin’ his own firewood. Who was also a jerk. So many jerks in the village...”
“Don’t worry, your secret’s safe wit’ me.”
The two ate in silence after that, giving each other some time to wind down from the day. Once they were finished Sonic took their plates and rinsed them off so that Tails could return them to the Mess Hall on his way back to his own hut. By then it was getting late, and they were both looking forward to getting a decent night’s sleep.
“So I’ll catch ya tomorrow?” Tails asked.
“Yeah, we’ll finish off the stuff we didn’t get to so you won’t have so many villagers on your back,” Sonic stated. “Though I’ll need a favour from ya.”
“Oh? Sure, anythin’,” Tails confirmed. “Whaddya need?”
“Can ya swin’ by here ‘nd drag my tail outta bed again?” Sonic asked. “‘cause I know I’m gonna forget. I promise I won’t fight ya.”
Tails laughed, the tips of his tails swaying gleefully at the confession.
“I can swin’ by at six, how does that sound?”
“Yeah if you do that I’ll fight ya ‘nd toss ya onto the roof,” Sonic miffed, his muzzle scrunching up with disgust even as Tails laughed harder. “Just make it a reasonable time, wouldja? At least ‘til I get used to bein’ a functionin’ guy again.”
“Okay, okay. Let’s try eight then. ‘nd I’ll brin’ some breakfast, too,” Tails yielded.
“Now that I can deal wit’,” Sonic smirked. “I’ll catch ya tomorrow, bro.”
“Catch ya tomorrow, Sonic.”
When Tails stepped outside and closed the door behind him he stopped and leaned against the door, taking a moment to reflect on everything that had just happened. After a few minutes the fox couldn’t help but grin to himself, before he quietly danced around in a tight circle to channel his giddiness.
He hadn’t expected his attempt to get Sonic out and about to be this successful, especially with the false start he had. But now he was thrilled that not only did Sonic leave his hut, he also seemed to have cheered up quite a bit. Tails knew that this didn’t mean Sonic was completely free of his depression, but he hoped this would lead to Sonic coming out of his reclusiveness a little more.
Tails headed home, mentally keeping his fingers crossed that tomorrow would go just as well for the hedgehog.
With hopefully the absence of any more grouchy villagers.
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So how does it feel being a Britt Baker stan and Sammy apologist? I am sure there's a whole bunch of shit that Ospreay will do, too.
So this has been sitting in my ask for a while and I was going to ignore it along with most of your other messages, because yeah -- I'm pretty convinced you're the same person who just seems to have a problem with me. Because there's NO way I am important enough that more than one person is wasting this much energy disliking me.
So let's go:
First of all, how have you been? My bish, my main squeeze, my most dependable relationship here on Tumblr (J/k, in the grand scheme of things, despite how much you seem to hate me, you're a gnat that I forget about every time you buzz away) -- hope you're having exactly the day that you deserve.
Note for everyone else: If you don't like the people I like, I'd like to think I have never once crammed it down your throat or tried to change your mind. This is honestly just in response to this one person who seems to dislike me and I want to clarify my opinions which are only my opinions. If you are a normal functioning person and I am blogging something or about something that makes you upset, please tell me and I will literally create a tag you can filter out. I literally enjoy being here and reading your takes and seeing your blorbos succeed even if they are not mine. This is really just me being petty back to someone who leaves me regular rude messages because I feel I have earned that right.
How does it feel being a Britt Baker stan? Great, glorious, fantastic. You know, I like the rest of the women's division too. I was ecstatic to see Shida come back and heartbroken to see Thunder Rosa relinquishing the title. I also don't particularly want Britt near the title unless it's to further a story with her versus Jamie. Because it's almost like I can enjoy someone without having them front and center or hating everyone else.
And, since I assume by your petty mean girl repetitive attempts at my inbox you should know a few things that you have not gone out and experienced and one is you're never going to get along with everyone. I think the dirt sheets are blowing this out of proportion and that the fans are only making it worse by speculating. What I'll say is I have had some interactions with Britt and heard stories that confirm her to be lovely when she is out of character. I also think stories about the women's division drama somehow also spiral more than the men (and gee I wonder why). Even if she and Thunder Rosa don't get along, they work together fine. They were even only two tables apart at my last con and no one hid in the bathroom (plus, the story is that it was over Jamie Hayter's nose, not Britt. And I personally think that if my opponent were injured in the ring accidentally and my role is really to protect my opponent, then yeah I would hide in the bathroom to collect myself. I work from home and hid in my own bathroom today when I made a mistake at work.) Everyone calm down.
And I say the women get blown out of proportion because we know all of the men don't get along either. Eddie is particularly vocal about shoot not liking someone they work with and you can't please all folks. Speaking of Eddie, let's transition.
A Sammy apologist: I have never once apologized for Samuel Guevara in the way that YOU mean and I challenge you to find one instance where I have. Yeah, Sammy and Tay are probably difficult to work with right now and I frankly would have been too coming out of a situation as hostile as the fans reacting to their relationship and having it throw a wrench into my career. Are they doing it in a mature way? Probably not. That's something for AEW management to work with and frankly I could not give two shits about it beyond that. They'll work it out if they want to remain employable. Because again -- you have to deal with shit situations and people you don't like all the time, especially at work.
From what I understand, the tipping point for this argument was a promo paired with a bad attitude from Sammy. Again, the kid's got to get that shit handled and sorted. But do I also think there is probably something to be said that if you're going to have their talent write and deliver their own promos, which we all greatly prefer to scripted ones, that there probably does also need to be some lines already in place of what's off limits for folks? Sammy and Tay asked Sammy's past relationship not be brought up. Cool. Understandable. Eddie should be able to draw a line at digs about his physique. This may not be the crux of the issue, but then you avoid people stepping over the line in already difficult situations and it escalating.
I love Eddie and am inclined to support him all the time. But, I also know he is a reactive and emotional person just like me and think that regardless of who said something wrong or acted difficult, you should also be able to go to work without the expectation of it becoming aggressively physical especially when your job depends on your physicality.
Will Ospreay: I like him. I also probably dislike some of the people you like. I also probably love some of the same people you love. I've presented my take on Will and why I still choose to enjoy himm and have never once actually tried to force him down the throat of anyone else here.
But I'm half tempted to write him a fic now just in the hopes that you completely unfollow me since you can't figure out how to scroll past content you don't like or filter out the tags and phrases I deliberately use to be conscientious of people who are not carbon copies of my interests.
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silentexplorer18 · 4 months
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Regarding the future of this blog
Hi folks! This one got a bit long, so I'm putting it under a cut.
TLDR: I've been really unhappy blogging for quite a while, so I'm finally embracing being a messy, multifandom blog that posts things without tagging them well, posts more personal things, mostly focuses posting my own fic on AO3, etc. If you're not into that, feel free to eliminate my presence on your dash. XO -Silent
When I started this blog a few years ago, I was essentially starting with zero knowledge of the social side of the internet.  Sure, I'd read stuff on tumblr blogs, but I’d never used tumblr or looked at anything besides what was listed directly on a masterlist.  I’d never used other social media sites, either.  So, when I started using things like tumblr and instagram and even discord, I was trying to follow along and do whatever everyone else was doing.  I tried to post clearly tagged stuff and keep my blog super organized; I posted cutesy photos with whimsical captions; I tried to find my footing in conversations that were hard to follow.  But I always felt like I could never keep up.  I was trying to follow the motions to make my online spaces what I thought they needed to be, but I never could do the motions quite right, so I kept getting more and more discouraged.
Why am I telling all of you this?  Because I think 2024 is the year something needs to change.
I started off wanting this blog to be super pretty and aesthetic.  I wanted my fics to be clearly organized and have easily navigable links.  I wanted to only reblog fandom-specific things.  I wanted to keep everything very on topic.  And I wanted to be active in fandom (interacting with other fandom readers, makers, doers, etc.).  But in trying to do all of the former, I’ve spent so much physical and mental energy that I don’t have the time, energy, or ability to do the latter.  I felt like if I couldn’t do all of that, I shouldn’t do any of it, and, well, that’s plain not true.
The truth is this: I’m messy, and I write slowly.  I like so many things, and I actually love to talk a lot.  Keeping tags organized is hard and it makes me tired.  Posting on tumblr (instead of just ao3) is hard sometimes because it makes me tired.  I like talking to people and reccing fics and gushing over art, but I can’t always make it picture-perfect or aesthetic or linked so it’s easily navigable.  Life is hard, and using social media should be something fun, not something to agonize over.
So, I’m making some changes:
I’m gonna be posting a lot more.  Rambling about life.  Sharing writing updates.  Making you all privy to my shower thoughts.
But the writing projects I have will still be long hauls.  Strap in, folks, ‘cause we’re probably looking at months-long to years-long updates.  (Nothing is ever dead, just, you know, aging like fine wine or something.)
I’m not sure how many writing projects will be posted here, either.  I enjoy posting on AO3.  I like the format.  I like the way it works.  I like that it organizes everything for me.  If I post something there, I’ll obviously share the link here, but I don’t know how many fics I’ll be posting here moving forward.
Also, I’m just gonna start reblogging shit like crazy.  Anything!  Everything!  All at once!  The tumblr is my oyster!
Despite reblogging more, I’m just gonna let this blog become more disorganized.  If I have the energy to tag stuff, I will, but I think I’m just gonna focus on sharing things rather than sharing things in a way that’s particularly organized.
I’m gonna start reblogging more fic recs here, too (and sharing ones from AO3!).  I will, of course, be keeping my fic rec blog, and it’ll get its own small update post, but the goal is to just give myself the permission to be less organized so I have more energy to enjoy and share fic.
Related: the blog might get a makeover.  I’m not sure yet because I’ve had roughly the same colors/theme/pfp for all the years I’ve had this blog, so changing it will be hard.  (And I have no idea what exactly to change to!) But we’ll see.  Ideas are welcome.
I feel a little melodramatic making this big, long post about this, but I feel like the folks that are still hanging around my blog (you lovely, few and far between, who are neither bots nor dead blogs, I adore you all immensely) are hanging around for a reason, and I want to give fair warning that the activity levels here will be changing, the tagging system/findability of things will be changing, the location of fics being posted will be changing.  It felt right to warn people so they could unfollow/block if they so desire.
But anyway, happy (late) 2024!  I hope this post finds everyone well, and I’m excited to see what the future holds!
-Silent
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dadbodgintoki · 2 years
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gintama fic recs (gen+ edition)
hello again this is a follow up to my previous post re: gintama fic recs bc i realized i’d have to split them all up. i love gintama fic and there’s SO MUCH good gen fic out there. these will be split by vibe/genre bc sometimes you want fluffy yorozuya and sometimes you want to have ur heart ripped out by the concept of trauma on repeat. i also want to say, with these ones especially - a LOT of these authors have written SEVERAL incredible gintama fics. in order to not overload, i chose max two per person, but please please check out the authors on this list bc i promise they have good stuff that isn’t here! 
(shoka sonjuku focused and/or joui4 fic will be coming in a separate post)
for when you want to read a really good gintama arc  
Volcanolanche by naye @listening-to-thunder​. Rated G. 
This is a story of a snowy treasure hunt going horribly awry, because of course it does — didn't anyone watch the Ketsuno Ana Weather Special: Nature Will F**k Your S**t Up? It could also be a story about the dangers of greed, but everyone ends up too busy saving their rivals and not giving up on their friends to really care about that.
Pandemonium by @xparrot​. Rated T. 
The Yorozuya trio gets an unexpected reward. They really should've checked their daily horoscope before accepting: Beware of old women bearing gifts, don't count your lizards before they're hatched, and be careful when life seems too good to be true, because it might be a sign that everything is soon going to go very, very badly.
for when you want shenanigans with the gang and/or heartwarming fuzzies
anime is a zero-sum game by suitablyskippy. Rated G. 
“Once upon a time, only my stoicism was humorously inappropriate,” says Katsura. The Leader rolls over to sprawl upside down on her park bench and regards him blandly, littlest finger up her nose. “Do you remember that, Leader? Do you remember the days when only my deadly serious nature could provide a hearty chuckle or two?” “Get over it, uh-huh,” advises Kagura, and flicks a dollop of snot onto the immaculate blue of his kimono. Her advice is as wise as ever, but Katsura cannot bring himself to take it. (There’s only so much shameless copyright infringement a samurai can take before he reaches his limit. Thanks to Kyuubei, Katsura has reached that limit.)
similarly, they who love well by @pearthery. Rated G. Technically has background ginzura and kyutae, but it’s mostly not focused on them. 
Katsura breathes in again. "But I never thought that you—you—would think the same. Hah! How ironic it is that when I have reconciled that we are just two different, yet similar approaches to a tried and true character archetype—each explored in thoughtful, personal directions—that you would step forward and expose yourself as thinking, oh, as thinking you are above me! Do you suppose yourself at a moral high ground, Kyuubei-dono? Do you?" "Ah," says Gintoki idly. "You've done it now, Kyuubei-kun." [Rather than attract it, sometimes like would like to repel like.]
all phrased as tactfully as possible by suitablyskippy. Rated G. 
"I do have a wife, and I’ve always loved her, and if I’m honest with myself I still love her even now, so I thought – or I didn’t think, I just assumed, I always assumed... that I could only love her. That I could only love people like her.” Hasegawa draws in a deep breath. This is it; this is the moment. His voice won’t shake. He won’t let it. He says, “But I’ve realised I can also... love people who aren’t wom—” “We did invite Kyuubei-san, didn’t we?” Shinpachi asks the room fretfully. “I mean, I know we did. Of course we did. But do you think there’s any chance the invitation could have gone missing?" (At the very first meeting of Edo's brand new Gay/Straight Alliance, Hasegawa does his best to come clean.)
Good Intentions May Pave the Way to Hell, but Stupidity Glues Them There by athena_crikey. Rated G. 
The Yorozuya investigate a missing person's case in the Jyouishishi. It could be worse, right up until the point that it couldn't.
A little something to warm the heart by Liatheus. Rated G. 
Gintoki and Katsura have a conversation about ramen, among other things. Missing scene; ep 332; Homeless arc
Series: That One AU Where Oboro Works at a Convenience Store by @shirokokuro. Starting with Inconvenienced. Rated G.
Oboro works at a convenience store. That would be fine if the person in the check-out weren't his kid brother.
Whoever Said That Being Ill Is One of the Great Pleasures of Life Has Clearly Never Had the Flu and Also Should Go To Hell by magnificentbirb. Rated G.  
In which Okita thinks he's dying and Hijikata just wants a goddamn smoke.
Look After Your Trees As You Would Your Children by corvidity. Rated G. 
In which Shinpachi finds a tree, and nothing could be simpler.
angst & hurt/comfort (of the mild and not-mild variety)
Beginnings and Endings Exist Only in the Mind by corvidity. Rated G.  
After the war ends, Gintoki learns how to let his children grow up.
The Older You Get, the More You Speak in An Annoyingly Roundabout Way by @sakvnosuke​. Rated G. 
He does not know how to tell the boy this: that he sees a specter within this hollowed out home. A white-and-blue-and-brown ghost roaming this ashy barren land. He does not know how to tell him of how much he aches from the familiarity of it all. Kotarou does not know if he's welcomed to grip at Shinpachi's shoulders and tell him: I wish you didn't have to bear this cross too. 
sapotroph by @pearthery​. Rated G. 
At the end of the Joui war, the Shiroyasha sinks into obscurity, into the shadows. Shinpachi navigates the aftermath.
They also serve who only stand and wait by naye @listening-to-thunder​. Rated T. 
Zura is captured. Gintoki finds him. Then events unfold that turn what should have been a simple rescue mission into something far more harrowing.
and the night it is aching by  @mrosenkov. Rated G. 
There is only one person Kagura knows well in this world, and she sees, as clear as the moon, that something is not right.
Rinse & Repeat by @unidentifiedpie. Rated G. 
The dead shouldn’t come back to life, not as different damn people, don’t they understand how much it hurts? (Or: Gintoki and Shouyou; the forming and breaking of trust.)
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bettsfic · 3 years
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Hi betts! I hope you’re doing alright and that your semester is wrapping up smoothly. I have a question about genre, I guess? I’ll preface this with the fact that I am not a writer or lit person, but just an enthusiastic reader. But as I’ve been on Tumblr and TikTok (in this case BookTok), I’ve noticed that it’s a lot of the same kinds of books that people get obsessed over. Largely, SFF written by women and often in “new adult.” I’m thinking of V. E. Schwab, Leigh Bardugo, etc. I’ve read a number of these books and enjoyed some of them quite a lot, but they’ve never captivated me the way they do some. That’s fine, people have different tastes. But after being served yet another TikTok about this same category of book, I kinda realized that for some reason they just don’t feel that adult to me. Which is weird because they typically deal with very adult themes. Some are super sexual or violent and the like, but the way they’re written doesn’t feel mature to me. Even The Poppy Wars, which is very adult, falls into this category for me (I did enjoy this one, though). I’ve tried to interrogate this for bias, especially since I know a lot of people like them because they are written by women, (mostly) feature more diversity, and have large female audiences. But then I think about which books did feel adult, but fall in similar genres: N. K. Jesimin and Ursula Le Guin come to mind (even her youth fiction feels more adult to me). So I guess I’m curious what you feel makes a writing style more mature versus simply the content? Why is it that SFF, while often depicting adult events, doesn’t come across as mature? I guess my frustration is that it’s one of my favorite genres, but the recommendations I’m getting across many folks just...isn’t the SFF I want. How does one distinguish between these? Idk if I’ve expressed this well and I definitely am not trying to judge people. I’m just looking for a certain atmosphere in my reading that I find rarely.
i’m so excited i have an answer to this. so first i want to say, i experience this also and it’s why i struggle to get through a lot of books. it’s why i love the secret history but couldn’t get twenty pages into if we were villains, even though everyone told me they had a lot in common. even if the description of a book is compelling and the story is very much to my taste, and even if the writing is totally competent, i’ve found that sometimes there’s just something lacking that makes me set a book down and never pick it back up. 
i was thrilled to find there’s term for this: the implied author.
the implied author was coined by wayne c. booth in his book the rhetoric of fiction which, while dense, is a really fantastic read (if you’ve been keeping up with my newsletter you know how feral i am for this book). as a blanket definition, the implied author is the space that exists between the narrator and the writer. when you read something, you can’t make any factual conclusions about the writer (the author is dead and all that), but the narration often tips you off to the idea that the consciousness behind the writing is wiser and knows more than the narrator. 
that’s a very condensed version of booth’s definition, which takes up like 40 pages. here forward are some conclusions i’ve drawn based on it. 
when the space between the narrator and implied author is narrow, some of us as readers tend to get bored pretty quickly. it’s what you’re referring to as maturity. however, when that space is wide, when it’s clear that the implied author is much, much bigger than the narration, that’s when i’m willing to sink my teeth into something. the wider that distance, the more i’m happy to ignore things like syntactical clumsiness or poor grammar. i would follow a good implied author into hell. 
for example, i could write a story from the point of view of a violent abuser. if you were to read it, you wouldn’t be able to say for certain that i, the writer, was not a violent abuser also. but you would be able to tell via the implied author whether or not there is an awareness of the abuse, whether it’s being written with intentionality. not morality, mind you, but artistic purpose. 
the implied author has an idiosyncratic relationship to the reader. sometimes depending on the complexity of the work and the critical reading skills of the reader, the presence of the implied author can be invisible. this is the catalyst, imo, to a significant amount of the present morality discourse. many (if not all) purity officers and antis don’t have the reading skills to be able to see the implied author, or that the moral trespasses that occur in fiction are written intentionally and for a purpose. they believe that anything depicted in fiction is advocating for or promoting that which it’s depicting. 
lolita is kind of the ultimate classic example of the inability of some readers to see the implied author. nabokov even has a fictional preface from the pov of a scholar doing research, flat-out telling us that humbert is a bad guy and Do Not Trust Him. and yet, lolita has been misinterpreted and vilified for decades now.
in that same vein, the implied author is the reason that some stories put a bad taste in our mouths. it’s how we reach the conclusion that a story is racist or sexist or homophobic outside the literal depictions of racism, sexism, and homophobia. how can you witness racism taking place in a story and know that it’s speaking to the experience of racism and not advocating for racism? that’s the presence of the implied author. sometimes, though, you can’t tell. sometimes a writer tries to speak to the experience of something and fails at making clear their own awareness. or sometimes, they’re just not aware at all. 
in fanfiction, the implied author takes place, in part, in the tags. i remember stumbling upon a fic written by a purity officer which depicted an extremely unhealthy, non-negotiated power dynamic. and none of it was tagged. i had no evidence the author was aware that they were even writing something “problematic.” obviously i support their right to depict whatever kind of relationship they want for whatever reason they want, but i did find it a bit off-putting, that this person who was a known harasser in fandom had no seeming understanding that they were writing the very kind of fic they were rallying against.
but, you know, my hands aren’t clean either. until the MFA, i was a very poor reader. for example, in 2010 i read the hunger games for the first time. in 2020 i re-read the series on my kindle, where all my annotations from 2010 had been saved, and so i got to see all my glaring misinterpretations of the text. every time katniss has to get dolled up in the capitol and made beautiful, i left a note like “ugh,” because i thought all depictions of performative femininity were Bad. even though thg is a YA book and i was an honors student in college, i was still unable to see that katniss’s beautifying was commentary on consumerism. i was oblivious to collins’ implied author, the presence in the book that is shaking you by the shoulders and going, THIS IS WHAT’S WRONG WITH SOCIETY. 
but sometimes, like in your case, the opposite situation occurs: you the reader are wider than the implied author, and so some books have little to offer you in terms of depth or insight into the human experience. i don’t mean that to sound pretentious or anything; what i mean is, we all read at different skill levels and for different reasons, and we all get different things out of the stories we read. we’re all at different places in our reading lives, and we all have room to grow.
i hope i explained this clearly enough! hopefully one day i’ll be able to write a formal essay on this, because booth wrote about it in the 60s and a lot has happened in fiction since then. 
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kawaiijohn · 3 years
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Rewind, Rinse, Repeat Chapter 1
For Invisobang Minibang 2021
Ao3 Link
Chapters: 3 finished, 12 total Rating: T+ Warnings: Major and Minor Character Death- all temporary, Implied Child Abuse/Neglect, Strong Language, Mild Body Horror, Mild Injury. Other warnings listed by chapter Characters: Clockwork, Danny Fenton, Pariah Dark, Levi | Leviathan (OC), Mal (OC), Observants, Mentions of other characters Ships: Lost Time, Dark Ages, CW & OC child, CW & Levi | Leviathan (OC) Genre/Tropes: Human AU, Magic AU, Found Family, Character Origin, Hurt/Comfort, Original Magic System and Lore Additional Tags: Existentialism & Existential Angst, Memory Loss & Amnesia, Corruption, Clockwork Centric, They/Them Pronouns for Clockwork, The Fenton's A+ Parenting, Obersvant Bashing
Summary
“Clockwork can I ask you something? How did you become a ghost?”
The tale surrounding the mystery of Clockwork's existence; a world where magic is common and ghosts are not. A world where one lonely, average mage tries with all their might to save what means most to them. A world where things need to be remade into something better.
Shout out to my betas @bibliophilea and @moonlights-shadow-warrior for keeping me sane, @13thdoodle for letting me use their OC, Levi, @dailudannos and @sailor-toni for providing art for later chapters, and all the folks over at @invisobang for being awesome!!!!
Chapter One below the Cut. The rest is available on my Ao3 account because tumblr linking/posting is hella broken.
Chapter 1: An Inquiry
“Hey, Clockwork? Can I ask you something?”
Clockwork looks over from the mirror they were watching intently.  “You already have, Daniel,” they reply, offering the other a smirk.
“Oh, ha ha.  You've never said that to me before.”  The reply is filled to the brim with sarcasm, as per usual.  Danny rolls his eyes, but a small smile gracing his lips betrays the fact he isn't annoyed in the least.  “Seriously, though.  It’s something that's been on my mind like... every day for the last two weeks!!"  He raises his hands towards the sky, flopping back in the air dramatically.  "But... it's kinda, y'know.  Personal-”  Danny trails off, slightly embarrassed.
Of course.  Clockwork finds themself smiling fondly- Danny thought he’d said something he shouldn't have- an inquiry that could make his guardian upset (as if it's even possible to upset Clockwork like that).  A question is a question, and this is a worrying habit of his that the Time Master is trying to help break, even if it's still somewhat endearing to them.
“I uh, I mean... it’s personal about- to you, not to me. That’s what I meant!!” Danny continued.
Clockwork stares at him, unblinking.  An idea (or thousands) of what he may ask flashes through their mind’s eye.  With a single, calming pulse to their Core, Clockwork pushes the involuntary slideshow of timelines aside as if they're no more than curtains.  They need to focus on the window in front of them; the here and now, not the temporal drapery.
It's a habit they are trying to overcome for Daniel’s sake.  To ensure their ward's growth, they need to stop peering into the near future as often- not discourage his asking of questions.  After all, what is a child if not but a well of endless curiosity?  Cutting Danny off is also sure to disallow the development of any trust or patience Clockwork needs to build within their young ward.  They wouldn’t receive either of those things if they assume what he wanted to ask.
It's common decency to not assume, lest it ‘make an ass out of you and me’, according to Daniel.
It is going to be a tough habit to break, but by the (other) Ancients, they're trying their best.  Their ward deserves the infinitesimal choices all other children have when asking things of their guardians, so even if they do glimpse to the future, they will not mention it to him.  Clockwork refuses and will continue to refuse to take their ward’s agency away; to not have a choice in things is a fate worse than fading.
The boy has been quiet, stuck deep within his own thoughts even after an impressive five minutes and thirty-seven and a half seconds of silence (uncharacteristic of the boy, Clockwork notes).
Now that just won't do- he must have lost his train of thought.  Clockwork gestures at the ghost boy, motioning for him to continue.  It works- Danny adverting his eyes and clearing his throat, "Well, it’s just like- you know so much about me- like, how I died, the whole Ghost Zone Prince business, that entire disaster doomed timeline with Dan... I just keep thinking- no- realizing, that I barely know anything about you!!”  He throws his arms up in thinly veiled frustration.
Clockwork smirks. “You had another question, did you not?”  They place a hand along the edge of the closest Temporal Mirror, turning to face the mirror- still halfway facing Danny.  They can see his inner debate clearly written on the boy's face- the mirror reflecting as if it were an ordinary object (for now).  They turn towards it fully and watch Daniel's reaction from behind them, acting as if they aren't finding joy in their ward's hesitation.  It's always adorable when he tries not to offend Clockwork. "I may be able to work with time, but that doesn't mean I wish to float here waiting for an answer all day."
Danny blinks a few times, rolling his eyes again in response.  Clockwork is certain that if they weren’t secured to his skull by human musculature they’d fall out and roll away.  “Well, I’m sorry for trying not to be rude and like, asking outright... but since it’s you I have to always be super direct!!  Jeeze you’re frustrating sometimes!”  He floats towards his mentor, crossing his arms.
Danny often forgets Clockwork isn't easily upset over trivial things such as questions.  Most questions are about things they already know the answers to, anyways.  And the few things that they don’t know when asked, they figure out soon after.  Such is the duty of the Master of Time- to be a step ahead of everyone and everything else always.  Besides, in most timelines (68.3% of them, to round up) the question Daniel wishes to ask is along the lines of ‘What was your past like?’ Another small fraction (a little under 20%) the question is ‘How did you get so strong?’ .  And even in the remaining timelines, the question would be along the lines of ‘How do your time powers work?’
They are each things Clockwork expects Daniel to ask them at some point or other, as it were.  There isn’t really anything Daniel can ask that could be too shockin-
“Clockwork, I was wondering… how exactly did you become a ghost?”
They... did not see that coming… in any of the timelines they’d glimpsed.  Clockwork stills for only a fraction of a moment, but it’s long enough for Danny to flinch, feeling as if he’s crossed a line.  They hear more than see Daniel shrinking in on himself as they look off into nothing, buried memories waking slowly in their mind.
Clockwork is brought from their introspection by a mumbled curse.  “Shit!  I mean... uh crap??"   They just stare at Danny as they are brought back to the present.  "Never mind just... sorry for asking...  Oh man!  Did I offend you somehow?  Ancients dammit, this is what I was worried about!!”  They watch him curiously, soft whirring coming from their ward's anxious core.  “We can just forget about it if-”  Daniel’s hands wring together nervously, shoulders tense with worry and face full of guilt.
Right- facial expressions are also important for a young ghost's emotional communication and development.  Sometimes the Time Master wonders if their isolation in Long Now affected their social behavior (it did).  Their face is carefully blank most times, so they set to fix it- they offer a small grin, hand coming to rest on Daniel’s shoulder.  “It is more than fine, Daniel.  You asked if you could ask a question- which is in fact, two questions, I should note- but I gave you consent to ask it of me.”  They squeeze his shoulder to placate the worry.
“It’s about time I told you this story, as it were.  I just did not foresee it being told at this very moment."  Clockwork floats slowly, turning away from their Mirrors.  "Come along- it’s best we sit for this.  I’ll have one of your friends bring us some tea.”
Danny floats after his mentor, looking around the room the two normally use to study history of the Realms.  “So, uh… is it a long story or...?”
“Oh, it is very long, indeed.”  They fly through an ornate door and over to their favored 'chair'- a stack of comfortable cushions in violets and blues, both impossibly cool and warm at the same time.  They recall Daniel discovering the room, eyes full of wonder and posture relaxed.  Clockwork chuckles- the first time their boy had wandered in here he'd decided to take a running dive into the pile, jumping up in surprise when it was cold as ice, yet warm as fresh laundry.  The expression on their ward’s face is one of their fondest memories; a happy moment amongst all the tedium of watching time.
“It may take a while to tell this tale proper. But, it is a story that ought to be told.”  Daniel makes himself comfortable on his chair of choice- an unholy combination of 'borrowed' pillows and what appears to be a more modern gaming chair- complete with an obnoxiously bright green-black color scheme.  Clockwork has to hide another smile as Danny wiggles himself deep into the pile.  “So, Daniel- what do you know of the phrase ‘Totems of Power’?”
“I thought I was getting a story, not a pop quiz!  Unfair!!”  His disdain for schooling makes Clockwork laugh fondly before the boy continues.  “But they’re like… hmm how do I explain this?  Well, there’s the universe right?  Like every timeline and every result of every timeline all at the same time kind of ties into the main universe thingy- but there's still a main timeline, and that's kinda like... Main Street, and the other possible timelines are uh... like side streets with dead ends?  But there's other forces that like, aren't time and… uhhh...”
He hums, crossing his arms deep in thought.  Clockwork takes the time to purr-sing-hum at one of the many blobs floating in and out of their lair; Daniel had asked them to keep some around as pets and the Time Master was happy to oblige.  They were unable to deny something so beneficial to the young Prince, after all.  The one deemed ‘Mr. Pants’ by one of Daniel’s friends answers their call.  Clockwork buzzes to it a quiet request- ‘bring Daniel's favorite tea and mugs for two, please.’  The little thing chirrups and zips off through the walls- eager to serve the Lair’s owner and be (potentially) rewarded with pats (from Daniel).
The Time Master brings their undivided attention back toward a grumbling ghost boy, lost in thought.  “Daniel if you need to ask for help I’m glad to-”
Danny snaps his fingers, coming to a realization before his mentor can finish.  “I got it!!  The best way to explain it is ‘The Universe needs to run smoothly, so there’s certain forces- like Time or Space- that are upheld by a powerful entity, like a person or like… the avatar of that concept?  Yeah, something like that, but they ensure the aspect they represent is properly cared for so the universe doesn’t completely like, die.’”  Danny nods to himself.  "It's why you stepped in to stop Dan, to make sure the world didn't end like that."
“That is correct- it is my job to ensure this universe of ghosts and reality doesn't crumble prematurely.  Now, do you have a recollection of any other Totems you may have encountered?”
“Well, yeah!  We call them ‘Ancients’, though- so like… Pandora is the one for war and history, and Nocturn is for like… dreams?  The Void or something, maybe?  And then there’s old man Pariah who isn’t one, but he said there’s a Leadership Ancient somewhere, and then-”  Danny pauses, blinking at Clockwork in realization.  “Wait, you asked that for a reason, didn’t you?”
“That I did.  Becoming the Totem, or Ancient of Time is where this story starts.”  Clockwork hums, seeing Mr. Pants fly back towards the two- nearly spilling scalding tea all over the ground.  “Now then.  We have drinks.  We are sitting comfortably.  I believe it’s time I spin my tale for you.”  They take a sip, closing their eyes in bliss.
They open them once more and see Daniel sitting, eyes full of stars and eager- Eager to hear, eager to fire off a question a minute.  It makes a chuckle bubble up in their throat, to see their favorite person so excited to learn.
“Once upon a time, there was a human; average in most ways, a simple person living a simple life.  They would get up in the morning, perform their daily tasks, and go to sleep at night.  Day in, and day out- a boring, but fulfilling existence.
“However, where this story differs from what we recognize as reality, is that in this realm, humans who could control magic were the norm.  Think as if it were like one of those fantasy games you and Tucker play together- mages, healers… all of those and more were commonplace when I was alive.  Yes, humans can wield magic now, but it is nowhere near as frequent as they could in our tale.”
They pause, seeing that Danny was about to interrupt.  “Wait wait- this realm?  Like- this is a completely different reality?? And people can wield magic now???  Are you messing with me?  Like… I thought it was all just-”  The boy stops, his train of thought drifting off the tracks as it tends to now and then.
“Yes, first, this is a completely different realm from either the Mortal Plane or the Ghost Zone.  Second, Daniel- tell me... have you not noticed the magic of those you have encountered?  Blood blossoms… a reality warping gauntlet?  The existence that is ‘Freakshow’ in general should be a red flag, seeing as his talents were… strangely non-ghostly in origin.  Not to mention objects such as the Infi-map...”
“Man, I wish I could forget about Freakshow… who mind controls ghosts???  He was the worst!” Their young ward crossed his arms and grumbles.
“If you’re done sulking about your past misadventures and former foes, I was in the middle of telling a story, if I recall correctly.  One you asked I tell you…”  Clockwork simply stares, unblinking as steam wafts from their slowly cooling tea.
All is well, they knew Danny would only take approximately 4.85 seconds to snap his attention back to their story.  Clockwork sips their tea, waiting.
Danny snaps out of his thoughts only a millisecond off of Clockwork's prediction. “Sorry... it’s just super weird to think that magic actually… still exists?  Like ghosts are real and all but magic being a thing feels a bit far fetched, don’t ya think?”  He pouts, brow furrowed.
The Master of Time finally closes their eyes, removing the hood from their head.  White hair floats gracefully behind them, settling just past their shoulders.   Clockwork opens their eyes again- a serious, yet warm expression directed at their ward.  “Magic is simply defined as reality altering acts using both energy and the willpower of a sentient being, if that helps.”  Another sip.  Mr. Pants made a wonderful batch of tea, as always.  They smile wider when they notice Danny’s expression- the boy has never seen them without a hood, and they know doing this will (in 99.78% of all possible timelines) convince the boy to take what they said seriously.   ”Just as ghosts can be defined as ‘ectoplasm given form and consciousness’, forces beyond humanity and the physical realm can be explained with scientific terminology if you know where to look.”
“So like... what all did magic have to do with this ‘simple human’ version of you?  Did you ever have the power to shoot lightning??  Could I shoot lightning if I tried?  Like were you some sorta time wizard?  Is that why you’re all… timey-wimey and powerful?”  Danny wiggles his fingers with a look of confusion on his face.
Clockwork always finds their Core warming when their boy acts his age.  He's abnormally prone to shoulder the destiny of the world on himself and often forgets he's just a kid.  “You could continue asking questions one at a time, or you could allow me to tell my story.  The choice is yours, Daniel.”  They smirk, watching as Danny purses his lips, his steady flow of questions stopping short.  The best answer.  “Perfect- all is as I thought it would be.”
They close their eyes and reminisce as they continue.  “Now- to answer your last question… Yes.  You could say magic is how I came to be the Master of Time in both the Infinite Realms and the mortal plane, but there is much more to the story than that.  Other players, situations, and pure circumstances.  The universe in its infinite chances and possibilities brought myself, as well as many others to the situations they face here and now.”  Clockwork pauses, taking the moment to stare straight through Danny’s soul.  “Even yourself.”
The boy shudders, an appropriate response.  “Wait... me?  Did you… do something in the past to like… a past version of someone we know??  Can that even happen???”  Danny is already enraptured by the story, eyes twinkling as his mentor opens up about themself.  The boy is obviously thinking about everything that has happened, everything that could possibly have happened, and everything that Clockwork could possibly drop on him.
They feel Daniel cautiously tug on loose strands of time to see if he could possibly scope out what is about to be said, quickly failing to do much else beside give himself a small headache.  “Time stuff is still really confusing, Clockwork…”
“You could say that.  You could even say that trying to mess with time in the inner sanctum of Long Now is the most confusing ‘time stuff’ one could do if they were not myself.”  They grin- a Temporal Mirror appearing behind them with a thought.
“What’s the mirror for?”  Danny catches sight of himself and looks away, embarrassed that he’s been literally glowing with power after trying to do something so simple with his developing powers.  The glow is something he’s been working on suppressing recently.  After all, it would be a shame if other ghosts could see the boy powering up by aura alone.
The Master of Time smirks, bringing tea to their lips again.  “I thought it would be fun to attempt braiding my hair and doing my makeup for once.  It has been an awfully long time since I’ve done either.”
They stare at Danny who just bursts into laughter.  “Did you just use sarcasm???  Man, I didn’t know you could lighten up, Clockwork!”  The boy laughs harder, sinking deeper into his nest of pillows.  After a few minutes he was finally wiping tears from his eyes.  “But no.  Seriously… what’s the mirror for??”
“Why, what they are always for, Daniel- seeing through time and space.”  Clockwork waves their hand.  The mirrors show an image of a human with dark hair and burgundy eyes.  They have a large, hooked nose and medium brown skin- and Danny finds himself having a hard time guessing their gender.  The human sits at a desk, paused in time with the delicate gears of a clock sprawled along the desk surface, tools in hand.
Behind Clockwork, the image changes, showing the human living through an average day- images play in small spurts, never showing the whole story.  “Do you understand what’s being seen?”  The young boy nods, grabbing Mr. Pants out of the air as the blob drifts between the two.  Good, he will probably need the companionship, especially towards the end.
This isn’t the easiest story to tell, nor is it easy to listen to, but with a sip of their tea, Clockwork continues.
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thora-jane · 3 years
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Twin-Way Mirror (pt vi)
(a/n): Hey everyone. My mental health's getting a little bit better. These past few weeks I've had some depression/anxiety episodes but I think I might be on the better end of it now? I will say that the stories I post may be more spread out over time (I had a lot of this already written before I made the tumblr account, and I haven't had the time/energy to write more of the story. So like...idk thank you for your patience and understanding? anyway, I hope you enjoy this :)
Summary: Thanks to the Weasleys, you start to recover from the attack at the world cup
Word Count: 2,229
Warnings: mentions of blood and injuries, reader has a bit of a ptsd attack, also things get a little bit spicy but nothing nsfw.
TAGS!: @aliiiyyaaah @superblyspeedydragon @bamboozledflamplant
***
Someone was moving you. Everything was spinning. Mudblood. Mood. Blood. Mud and blood filled your mouth, swirling with bile and spit. Spit. Something smelled terrible, you smelled terrible. Reeking.
You felt a hand on your cheek. The pain stabbed across your face like a knife.
You bolted upright.
And screamed.
“Hey, hey hey hey it’s alright,” you heard George’s (or was it Fred’s?) voice through your ragged and panicked breaths, his hand placed gently on your back, “(y/n), we’re safe now, we’ve made it home.”
You finally looked around, you were on the couch in the burrow’s living room.
“Home?” You asked. You looked up, George was rubbing your back and Fred was sitting on the arm of the seat, eyes flitting back and forth between looking at you and down at his hands with what appeared to be shame. You looked back at the rest of the room, where the others had managed to find room standing and watching you, Harry and Ron stone-faced, Ginny with her jaw clenched, Hermione appeared to be on the brink of tears, Mr. Weasley looked awfully serious, and Mrs. Weasely was holding her muddied and bloodied hand to her chest, a damp rag in the hand at her side and fear on her face.
You felt your face gingerly, most of the caked on mud and blood had been smudged off, except for the grime around the large bruised and scarred lump on your face.
“Yeah, home,” George nodded again with a smile, “How are you feeling?”
You held your head in your hands, “Who was that?” You felt your eyes well up as you sat up more and looked down at the rest of your body, you were still covered in mud, and there appeared to be a boot print right in the middle of your shirt.
“Death Eaters,” Harry piped up from the back, “Voldemort’s followers. They stormed the campgrounds and-” He stopped, looking at you, “Sorry, I shouldn’t have…” His voice trailed off, and it took you a second to realize you were crying, the salty tears stinging the wound on your face.
“Oh it’s alright Harry,” you interrupted yourself with a shaky breath, “I don’t mind, keep talking-”
But Mrs. Weasley interrupted you, “Alright everyone, I think it’s best we give her some space. I’ll come back in a bit to help clean you up more, sweetie. Get some rest.”
The others filed out of the room quietly, but Fred and Geroge stayed beside you in silence, after a moment you sighed and bit back a smile. “I don’t suppose I look any better than either of you now, eh?” You chuckled, but it came out more like a twisted sob. George’s arm wrapped around your shoulder as he pulled you into a gentle sideways hug, “I wouldn’t say that. Why, look at Freddy over there, you could hardly believe we shared the same womb! He’s hideous!” He chuckled softly, squeezing your shoulder. You let out a wince at the pressure and he frowned, turning to you, “you’re in pretty bad shape, (y/n), but I doubt it will last. Is there anything we could do to help?
You looked back down at your crusted and soiled shirt, “A change of clothes would be helpful. And cleaning up doesn’t sound like the worst idea either.” you smiled, or at least offered what you could manage of a smile without hurting your face, “I’ll go get my clothes-” You started trying to get off the couch with a long and pained groan. Everything hurt, your stomach, your legs, your hand. And Merlin, you could barely move your wrist without tears pricking at the corner of your eyes.
George seemed to catch on, and he carefully eased you back onto the couch, “I’ll go get you a change of clothes. Stay here, alright?” he stroked the back of your head for a moment before getting up and leaving.
You and Fred sat in silence for a moment before nuding him with your foot, “Oi, I don’t think I’ve seen you this quiet since...well, I can’t remember.”
“(y/n)...I’m so sorry this happened.” He said, looking up at you hesitantly.
“Hey, it’s alright. We’re both here now, yeah?” you shifted in your spot on the couch, leaning forward as you tried to maintain eye contact, but he only looked away again.
“No, no (y/n) it’s not alright. I shouldn’t have let you out of my reach. I shouldn’t have let the crowd separate us, I should have forced my way back sooner-” his voice was dead serious, something that you hadn’t thought was possible before now.
“I don’t want you blaming yourself for this,” your voice was a little uneasy, you could feel it as you tried to keep your breathing steady, “Because I’m fine now. We’re home, you heard your brother-”
“No, but (y/n) you’re not fine!” he snapped, standing up and gesturing to your body in one big sweep of his arm, “They were going to kill you! And whose fault would that have been? It wouldn’t have been yours I can tell you that!”
“Freddie,” George’s voice was stern as he returned to the room, a change of clothes in hand, “Go get some things to clean up. What’s done is done and we can only start moving forward. I don’t think either of you are in a state to start pointing fingers,” He walked towards you on the couch as Fred went off to the kitchen, his hands balled into fists.
George knelt down beside you, brushing the hair from your forehead and dabbing at your lingering tears with the edge of his sleeve. “How are you feeling?” he asked, holding his hand under your chin carefully and examining your face.
“A bit banged up, surprisingly,” you quipped. You paused, looking down at the clothes in his hand, “So...should I change?” You looked back up at him, a bit embarrassed by your current lack of mobility.
“Oh! Yeah,” he agreed with a bit of a start, “You can’t quite be up and about right now, huh?” He glanced around the room before snatching the blanket off the back of the couch and holding it up in front of him as a curtain between you two, “I swear on Fred’s life I’m not going to move this until you say you’re done, and I will scream bloody murder if anyone walks in,” He delcared in what you assumed was a mock-stoic voice from the other side of the blanket.
You began to peel off your muddied pants and slide your sore legs into the new pair. It wasn’t until after you had them on that you realized how this unfamiliar stripey pair fit quite loose, “These aren’t mine?” you mumbled to yourself, and from the other side of the blanket you could hear George clear his throat.
“I uh...couldn’t figure out how to open your trunk so I..grabbed a pair of my pajamas. I promise they’re clean. I can get you yours later it was just...short notice and I didn’t want to be a bother-”
“It’s alright,” you assured him as you started to lift your shirt over your head, “At least they're clean- OW!” you felt a screaming pain stab it’s way through your wrist after you had managed to get one arm out of your sleeve.
“Are you ok?” His voice was nervous, and you saw the blanket shift beside your head-
“Oi!” You almost shouted, “Watch the blanket!”
“Sorry! Sorry,” you heard him mumble as the blanket lifted up a little bit, “I guess we’ll call it even from this morning.”
You had managed to carefully wrangle your way out of your shirt and pull one of the sleeves of George’s shirt before it dawned on you, “Oh Merlin, did you see me? Just now?” Your stomach twisted as you shrugged on the second sleeve and looked at the open front of the shirt, “Damn buttons.”
“If it’s any comfort, I only saw your shoulder. And I looked away as soon as I saw-” He stammered out nervously, as you gave the buttons down your front a calculated stare.
“Just...never bring this up again, yeah?” You muttered mostly to yourself before your first attempt at buttoning up your shirt. But your try was unsuccessful, pain twisting the muscles and bone in your wrist as your right hand went to try and help the button through the hole. You let out a faint gasp of pain, and from the other side of the blanket you heard George shift his stance awkwardly.
“Do you need any help?” he piped up from his side.
You paused, sighing as you carefully moved the shirt to cover your front without buttoning it, “If I must. But if you try to pull something then so help me Godric the second I get my wand back you’re dead.” He let the blanket fall to the floor and his hands flew up to his face, squinting through his fingers. It was clear he was trying to lighten the mood as he perched himself on the edge of the couch. You chuckled at his efforts and reached for one of his hands with your good one, placing his fingertips on the buttons of his shirt, “You don’t have to do it with your eyes closed, dimwit.”
George smirked, opening his eyes slightly and making it clear he was staring directly at the buttons he was fastening, “Y’know, I don’t usually do this for folks,” he smiled looking back up at you with a dramatic wink. His eyes stayed latched to yours as he worked his way up the trail of buttons, making a point to not stare at your chest.
“Oh? This isn’t a regular occurrence between you and your roommates? You don’t sit in a circle helping each other tie your ties each morning? You don’t fix Fred’s hair and make sure Lee’s robes are nice and straight?”
George laughed, “Keeping Lee’s robes straight is Fred’s job.”
“Well someone ought to tell him he’s not doing a very good job of it, Lee’s robes wouldn’t stay smooth unless he used a charm,” you sighed, a weak smile lingering on your face.
“Oh! That reminds me,” George reached into his pocket and pulled out your wand, “managed to get it out without a scratch!” He tucked it into your messed-up hair and smiled, “Good as new!” His hand lingered on the side of your face, carefully touching the area around the swollen and bruised gash for just a moment, “You don’t look that bad, really. A little roughed up but give it some soap, water, magic, and time, you’ll be back to your wonderfully-faced self,” his voice was encouraging, but your thoughts had drifted off to elsewhere.
“Oh my god, you took on a Death Eater.” You blurted out, eyes widening, “Are you ok? Did he get you at all? Are you alright?” Your hand reached for his face, there was a scratch just below his cheek bone but other than that and a few smudges of mud he appeared fine,
“I’m alright, (y/n), really,” he patted your hand.
“Oi, I got you out of there too, y’know.” Fred interrupted from the doorway, “Where’s the worry for me?”
“Oh my god, Fred!” Your voice was startled as you scrambled off the couch and stumbled across the floor over to him. He had just barely managed to set down the bowl of water and sponge before you practically collapsed in his arms, “are you alright? What on earth were you two thinking? Running into danger like that? You could have gotten yourselves killed!” You winced at the pain pulsing through your body, but you only hugged Fred tighter. After a second you let out a muffled sob into his chest and you could feel his arms wrap around you, patting your back.
“But it’s alright,” you heard him whisper, “You said it yourself, we’re home,” He placed a kiss on the top of your head, and you could feel another body hug you from behind.
“We’re here, (y/n). Now c’mon, it’s late and you should get some sleep,” You felt George lean down and kiss your cheek before helping you shuffle back to the couch and wipe the last bit of mud from your face.
***
You woke up the next morning feeling sore, but minimal agony in comparison to the night before. As you opened your eyes, you realized you were face-to-chest with one of the twins. You figured the two of you had slept on the couch the night before. As you poked your head out from behind his shoulder, you saw the other twin asleep in the chair. Neither of the boys had changed their clothes from yesterday, and you looked down to see the large gold “G” against a green sweater, with its sleeves wrapped around your waist, pulling you close.
“Mmm, (y/n), are you up?” George murmured, his eyes not opening.
You smiled softly at his warm embrace, “No George, go back to sleep,” you whispered, laying down again with your head against his shoulder.
“Of course, sweetheart,” he nodded, barely awake as he pulled you closer and nuzzled his face into your hair with a sleepy sigh.
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gallavichthings · 3 years
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Writer’s Spotlight
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Starting now, we’ll be posting interviews with acclaimed writers in the Gallavich fandom. The goal is to get to know them and their process a little better. If you would like to suggest a writer to be interviewed, please leave a message in my ask box with their Tumblr url (or other form of contact) so that I can contact them and, hopefully, interview them (we do understand that not everyone is up for this). The interviews are conducted via written chat, with very little editing.
To start of this series, the writer interviewed is our very own Jen - @thevioletjones​ (Violet_Jones on AO3), author of Backdrifiting, Tag Team, Corey & Parker, Oceans of Time, and dozens of other well-renowned stories.
GT: So, how did you come up with thevioletjones?
J: I've been using Violet Jones or some variation ever since I was on LiveJournal when I was 17. It's mainly based on my love of purple. Jonesing for a violet fix. Lol
GT: Oh, I see! That's cute. It's my favorite color too. Ok, so tell me a bit about yourself. As much as you're comfortable with, of course.
J: I'm an 80's kid. I'm Aquarius. INTP. True Neutral. I'm American, but I grew up in Venezuela. I've also lived in Canada and a slew of US cities, mainly Los Angeles, Austin, and Miami. I work in the tech industry, but I just got certified to teach English as a second language, so I might get into that, or a field where I use translation (Spanish/English).
GT: Do you speak any other languages other than English and Spanish?
J: Not fluently, but I'm dabbling in Italian. I understand it much more than I can speak it. I like it, but I'm too much of a perfectionist. It takes me way too long. 
GT: Do you read or write fics in other languages too or just in English?
J: I tried to start a Spanish translation of one of my fics, but honestly, it's just really tedious, and it feels weird because the characters speak in English, not Spanish. There's a disconnect with the material. I tried to read Even/Isak fic from Norwegian Skam at one point, and I couldn't get into it for the same reason. They speak Norwegian on the show, so treying to suddenly act like they just spoke in English made no sense to me.
GT: Ok, so let's talk fanfiction. When did you start reading it?
J: When I was 17 and Queer as Folk US started. That was the first time I ever used the internet to find out more about a show, and I stumbled upon the small community of fans for it. Back then it was all on Television Without Pity, Yahoo Groups, and dedicated fan websites, then it started being very LiveJournal focused. So that was the first fanfic I ever read, and the only other fandom I've ever written for.
GT: I haven't even heard of Television Without Pity. That was a website?
J: Yes. It was a snarky message board site that had reviewers who did harsh recaps of a long list of shows, and then users could discuss. It was funny, but there were also a lot of what we called "flame wars" at the time. Lmao TWoP is the common nickname. It definitely has its place in fandom lore, especially with some specific TV fandoms. I think it got most famous for Dawson's Creek. Maybe Buffy too. 
GT: When did you start watching Shameless and what made you ship Ian and Mickey?
J: I started watching Shameless US specifically because of IxM. I had seen the first couple of seasons of Shameless UK and wasn't really interested in watching a remake of it. But then I read something on the AV Club, which is where I used to hang out and just do general pop culture fandom stuff, where they talked about how the best gay relationship on TV was hiding on a second-tier cable drama on Showtime. And my interest was piqued. I think I even watched some of the supercuts on YouTube before I started watching full eps. I honestly can't remember. I just loved the underdog nature of their story and thought their chemistry was great. Oh, this was at the end of season 5 right when everything went to shit. Lmaoooo
GT: When did you start writing Gallavich fanfiction? What made you start?
J: I guess I was only a reader for maybe 6 or 8 months? Maybe a year, idk. I'm terrible with time. And I really didn't want to get so sucked in that I was writing fic, but of course it happened. It's the usual story of like, wanting to read something that no one else was really writing the way you wanted it, so the only solution was to write it myself. I hadn't written anything fictional in at least a decade, so I was really apprehensive about it. But then once I started, I loved it, and it became my primary creative outlet. I still don't know how to quit funneling all my ideas through the IxM lens. It's almost frustrating. I just checked and my first fic was published in June of 2016.
GT: What's the most fun thing about writing Gallavich?
J: I guess their sense of humor matches mine in a way that makes it easy to write entertaining dialogue and scenarios. They feel really authentic.
GT: And what's the most difficult thing?
J: Mmm, I have a well documented dislike of canon, particularly post-S5, so I love to live in AU Land as much as possible. So sometimes I worry about how people might perceive the characterization when I try to write slightly more evolved versions of them. I also just get tired of reading them always written with the same well-trodden issues in every fic, so I tend to exclude certain canon elements, like Ian's bipolar, and Mickey's early internalized homophobia, etc. I guess I don't really find anything difficult to write about them, but I always hope the readers' perception isn't something I don't intend. Namely, that they don't feel OOC even when given different circumstances and ages.
GT: Do you prefer writing Ian or Mickey?
J: That's a hard one to answer decisively. I like writing them both for different reasons. Mickey can be more fun, for obvious reasons, and Ian can maybe be more relatable. But I also identify a lot with Mickey too. They each have things to connect with and channel different parts of myself.
GT: You said Mickey can be more fun for obvious reasons. What do you mean?
J: I mean, he's just inherently more funny and offbeat. He's a very unique character in the fictional landscape.
GT: That's true. What about other Shameless characters? Who are your favorites aside from Ian and Mickey?
J: Early on, I really liked Fiona and Lip too, and Mandy to a certain extent, but I don't really care about any of the other characters anymore. I haven't been invested since S5.
GT: Do you include them when you write?
J: I tend to really just focus on the two of them (IxM), and use the other characters sparingly. I do include Mandy more than any other secondary character (to IxM). 
GT: How much research do you typically do before or during writing?
J: It depends on the fic, really. For the most part, I don't have to do too much research, because I keep it pretty real world. Things will always pop up that make you do random searches, but only some fics that are more AU and out of my depth will make me do a lot of research. I did quite a bit for Deaf Group, since I'm not deaf, and want to get it as right as I can without offending people. And the most I've done is for Oceans of Time, because I want to be historically accurate in every possible respect for that one. That led to a lot of rabbit holes and cool stuff. But yeah, I will look up anything that gives me pause, ever. And I double-check words and meanings a lot too, just to make sure I get exactly what I want and don't fuck it up. I have a pretty broad vocabulary, but everyone misremembers things or learns things the wrong way sometimes.
GT: What kind of fics do you write the most? (One-shots, multi-chapters, canon, AUs, fluffy, smutty, angsty…)
J: Always AUs, usually multi-chaps. I would prefer to categorize the majority of them as humorous slice-of-life, I guess? I definitely don't shy away from smut, but that can get boring to write after a while. And I prefer fluff over angst, but I try to stay on the right side of being cheeseball about it.
GT: What does your writing process look like? Do you outline? Do you post as soon as the chapter is done or do you accumulate chapters before you start posting?
J: Definitely outline. Depending on how complicated or long it is, I might do it more detailed for certain fics. I try to evenly distribute the word counts between characters, since I tend to do both IxM POVs. I have no willpower to sit on something, which is why I have so many open WIPs. As soon as it's ready, I post it. But there's an editing process beforehand. I've never understood people who just post shit without even reading it over and correcting errors. I always find shit that needs to be better, not just spelling errors.
GT: Do you post as soon as you have the first chapter done or do you wait until it's all complete?
J: As soon as a chapter is done, I post it.
GT: What are your favorite comments to receive? 
J: I mean, anything in depth is great. Those are few and far between for most of us. It seems like the fandom selects who gets long comments and who doesn't or something, idk. So anytime I get someone who genuinely enjoys the writing enough to be thoughtful about it and give actual feedback, I greatly appreciate it.
GT: What's your favorite Gallavich fic that you’ve written so far and why?
J: The Backdrifting series is close to my heart, because it's my original baby, and it's the trajectory I would've loved to see for IxM post-canon (at the time), but Oceans of Time is my favorite, because it's actually very challenging to write and it's completely different than anything else I've written, as well as anything that anyone else has written for the fandom. I wish it were more popular, tbh. I feel like it's slept on for the amount of work I've put into it. But it's still a WIP and I have half still to go if I ever manage to get back to it. Lol
GT: What's your favorite or some of your favorite fics in the fandom?
J: It's easier to say who my favorite writers are: Devovitsuasartes, Romanticalgirl, Anomalously, Pink_Ink, LanJevinson, Loftec, and Kissteethstainred. Obviously there are a lot of other great writers not all represented here, and a lot of other great fics. I definitely tend to choose stuff written a while back, though. It's harder for me to get into newer stuff.
GT: What’s your favorite trope?
J: I'm a typical Enemies to Lovers hoe. I also like Friends to Lovers with like miscommunication and pining and shit. And any inventive kind of AU that's well-written. I like as much uniqueness as possible, because at the end of the day, we're all just reading the same basic storylines with the same two dudes over and over and over again. Gotta make it stand out, both in ideas and in style.
GT: What's a fanfic pet peeve of yours?
J: Omg, I have a lot of them, because I'm a salty bitch. Mainly, I just want stuff to be in character and not feel as if it's written by someone with their own agenda that doesn't serve the actual characters. If something seems overtly girly and just not like two men would behave, for example, that bothers me a lot. I have a lot of little things, but I'm not gonna sit here trying to list them forever. Lmao
GT: What’s your favorite season of Shameless? Do you have a favorite episode?
J: I suppose it would have to be S4. And the episode where Mickey comes out at the Alibi and then screams about loving dick to Terry on the sidewalk. There has never been and never will be another scene as iconic as that on this show, ever.
GT: What’s your favorite Ian x Mickey scene?
J: I guess the episode where Ian took Yev, and then Mickey goes with the Gallaghers to pick him up and then they take him to be committed at the psych ward. I feel like that's when we really saw Mickey openly express his deep feelings for Ian for the first time, and that felt amazing. I also love the whole "Love is a Battlefield"/"Let's go on a date" scene. For me, canon ends when they both say "Mooooooo" with big smiles as they're about to go to Sizzler. Lmao
GT: That actually leads me to my next question: if you could go back and change one thing in canon, what would it be?
J: Just one??? Lollll... I mean, I definitely wouldn't have ever let Noel leave the show, so I guess that's it. The 5x12 rewrite that abruptly had Ian break up with Mickey and the whole bullshit thing with Sammi and going to jail. All of it is trash.
GT: It made no sense at all. Ok, last question: what's coming up next?
J: Shit, hopefully a couple of endings to some WIPs? Lollll... I have the final chapter of An Ever-Fixed Mark half-written, so that may be the next one to be published, but nothing has come easy lately and I haven't been writing at all. I also have just one chap left of Deaf Group, and then the rest of Oceans of Time. I still want to write the last 3 parts of Backdrifting, and I have 2 one-shot prompts sitting around. Whatever I can actually bear to write if I get the inspiration will be next, but I highly doubt I'll start anything new. Just wrapping up what I have will be a major victory.
GT: Thank you so much, Jen, for helping me pilot this. :*
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Text
I Don’t Know (ft. G Dragon and MINO) (8)
Part 8
Jiyong finds out what happened with Jae and Yuna tries to talk to Mino.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
This series will be updated once a week, every Friday! No specific time though lol. It’s an AU where Jiyong has a younger sister and you’re her best friend! Featuring my OC Mirae as the Best friend. Just saying, it’s not related to any of the scenarios I’ve written so far. Please do leave me some comments or asks! I love receiving them! It’s also a bit of a love triangle situation, so yeah :)) There will be eventual smut in this series.
(I don’t own any of the images used. All credit goes to the original owners.)
I only write on this blog on tumblr, so if you see my work on any other platform, please let me know immediately.
Also, just clarifying. The Jae here is not Park Jaehyung from Day6. It’s just the name.
Happy New Year Folks!! :)) Here’s to hoping 2021 is a better year for everyone :) I sincerely hope everyone had a great day and have great years of happiness and health ahead :)
Taglist:
@kwonnansi​
@unabashedturkeytreeslime​
@happiestgirlontheeastcoast​
@yee-hawwwwwwww​
@slayergroupie0128​
@herewecomeitsjekki​
@happygirl327​
@to-all-the-stories-i-love​
Please comment if you’d like to be added to the tag list:))
Word Count: 3753
WARNINGS: cheating, slight violence(punches to the face), sexist remarks, smut (overstimulation and safe word usage). 
——————————————-
You started coughing violently before walking out of the room, excusing yourself. You walked straight past Minho, not even realising that there was someone standing there, but that was okay, because Minho didn’t realise you walked past him either. Yuna had turned around to see if you were okay and she saw Minho. Minho was so lost in staring at her, overcome by a rush of anger and sadness, he didn’t notice Jae excuse himself to check on you. Jiyong did though.
You ran to the bathroom and got there just in time before another violent coughing fit hit you. Why Jae of all people? He was the one person who working with was worse than working with Jiyong. And on top of that, Yuna came with him. Jae had been cheating on you. You didn’t tell anyone that was the reason for your break up though. When people asked, you just said you drifted apart, but it was actually because you caught him with another girl. He was drunk and they were making out, going to their bedroom when you walked in.
5 years ago
“Jae?”
He turned and smirked at you, pulling you into a kiss seconds after making out with that other woman.
“Y/N, babe. Wanna join?”
You started to feel sick. Nauseous.
“Anyway, you’re cheating on me with Jiyong.”
His eyes furrowed.
“Why do you look so sad? Oh. Okay, fine. You can invite Jiyong to join us too.”
Voice strained, you asked,
“How long Jae? How long have you been cheating on me?”
“Ever since I figured out that you were cheating on me with that bastard. I think it was at Sohyun’s wedding?”
You nearly fell right there. He had been cheating on you for three months? Because he thought you were cheating on him with Jiyong? Jae jolted you out of it by grabbing your phone.
“Let me call him to join us. I have a bunch of questions for him anyway.”
“What?! Jae, no!”
“Hello? Jiyong?”
“…What the fuck Jae? Why’re you calling me from Y/N’s phone? Is she okay??”
“Yeah, she’s fine. I actually wanted to ask-”
You grabbed your phone back, choking on a sob.
“No, Jiyong, it’s fine. Don’t worry. He’s just drunk.”
“Y/N, are you sure? You don’t sound okay.”
You couldn’t hold back the sob any longer.
“Yeah, I’m fine. Everything’s fine. It’s perfect.”
And you cut the call. You turned to look at Jae and the very uncomfortable looking girl.
“Jae, we’re done. Don’t ever contact me again.”
You walked out to go to your car and cry. Jae never apologised. Nor did he follow you to your car. He just didn’t care. You don’t remember much of what you thought that night. But you did remember thinking that even if you could go back in time and change that one night at the wedding with Jiyong, you wouldn’t.
 ---
All those memories came rushing back, and you started feeling nauseous again. That’s when you felt very familiar hands brush back hair from your face. His touch made you feel even worse.
“What’s wrong Y/N?”
“Jae, get away from me.”
“But my poor Y/N looks a little unwell.”
“Get the fuck away from me.”
Jae laughed and took a few steps back.
“I was not expecting to see you here Y/N. Good to know I was right though.”
“Right about what?”
“About you and Jiyong, of course. Not going to lie, I felt slightly guilty about that night after seeing your reaction when you saw me with her, but now, I feel like I’m more than justified.”
You were about to say something, but Jiyong’s voice interrupted you.
“What night?”
You panicked when you saw a very angry Jiyong standing in the doorway. Furious, he repeated,
“What night Jae?”
Jae looked between the two of you and laughed.
“Oh, you never told him? Come on Y/N, you should have. At least you would have felt better after he beat me up.”
“Why would I beat you up?”
Jiyong’s eyes slowly travelled to you. You knew he was trying to ask you whether you didn’t tell him something, but didn’t want to voice it, scared he would cross a line.
“Well, after Y/N here found me in bed with another woman, I asked her to join us. I also told her to invite you. After all, if I could invite someone, she could also invite the person she was cheating on me with. That’s why I called you that night.”
Jiyong looked murderous. You knew he would want to kill Jae. Right there. But he kept looking at you, hurt more than anything else that you didn’t tell him.
“Your girlfriend caught you cheating. And you invited her to join?”
Jae shrugged.
“I mean, I wasn’t the only one. She had been cheating on me with you for ages.”
Jiyong was about to lose it. You could see that. But you weren’t bothered. Because you were also about to lose it.
“Jae, get the fuck out.”
“Why Y/N? Does seeing me here bother you?”
“Yeah it does Jae. Because I haven’t beaten up someone since middle school and you’re about to make me change that. So, before I do, get out of here you piece of shit.”
“Ha. That’s rich coming from someone who pretty much just slept their way up.”
There was an eerie silence after that. Jae was looking away and smirking. You stared at him, shocked at his audacity. Jiyong stared at you, willing you to let him kill Jae. You turned to Jiyong. He was begging you to let him punch Jae. At the very moment you nodded to Jiyong, too tired to do it yourself, Jae opened his mouth,
“What? Nothing to say to that? I guess it’s true.”
Jae didn’t know what hit him when Jiyong’s fist met his face. He stumbled to the side when Jiyong grabbed his collar and punched him again. And again. And again. Until he felt your hand on his shoulder. Although he was still mad, he dropped Jae’s collar and looked at you, wondering what to do. Jae lay there coughing up blood and wiping his bloody lips. You glared at him.
“Leave him be Jiyong. He’s a model. You can’t mess up his face more than this.”
And you grabbed Jiyong’s hand and walked out.
Jiyong looked pissed, but also confused.
“Where are we going?”
Without turning back to look at him, you muttered,
“Look at your hand. You caught it in Jae’s nose piercing. It’s a mess.”
And sure enough, when he looked down, his hand was a bloody mess. You pulled him into the infirmary and whipped out your phone. Your tone was calm when Somin picked up the call.
“Hey. Jiyong tripped over something, so we’re in the infirmary. We’ll get back to the meeting in a while.”
You turned to him and your voice was pretty disconnected when you spoke.
“Sit.”
You grabbed a first aid kit and started disinfecting his hand. He hissed when the disinfectant touched the wound. You didn’t say anything, but you become a lot gentler.
“Why didn’t you tell me about Jae?”
“I don’t know. This was when I liked you. I didn’t want you pitying me, or being mean to me because you felt like he had a point.”
His voice softened.
“I wouldn’t have done that.”
“Really? Can you really say that? Because you were very mean to me otherwise.”
“I’m sorry. I owe you an apology. A lot of apologies actually.”
“What are you apologising for?”
“For being mean to you. For hurting your feelings. For saying what I did when you confessed. For leaving you alone that night. For taking you for granted. For constantly snapping at you. For pushing you away to the point where you felt like you couldn’t tell me about your toxic ex because I would make it worse. For snapping at you when you called me Ji simply because I was scared it would give me hope for something that I didn’t think would happen because I li-”
“Don’t. Don’t you dare finish that sentence.”
You looked up, meeting his pleading eyes.
“Jiyong, I’m in a happy, healthy relationship. I’m happy with Minho. Please just be happy for me. I haven’t completely forgiven you for everything, because Jiyong, I’ll be honest. You scarred me. For years, I thought something was my fault. I thought I wasn’t enough and that’s why you hated me. And you never cared. I’m treating you normally now because we have to work together for a while. That’s it.”
He looked so painfully resigned that you couldn’t help your heart from hurting.
“Yeah, I know. That’s enough for me. But please don’t cut me out of your life. You’re someone very important to me.”
You backed away after bandaging his hands, leaving Jiyong feeling rather empty from the loss of contact.
“I don’t know Jiyong. We’ll see.”
 ---
While Jiyong was pouring his heart out to you, Yuna excused herself saying she was going to follow you, but she shut the door behind her and went up to Minho. Eyes regretful, she grabbed his sleeve,
“Hey.”
“Hey? Really? That’s what you have to say to me.”
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry Minho.”
“Don’t. Don’t call me that.”
“Don’t you want an explanation for why I did what I did?”
Minho stopped breathing for a second. That was the one thing he desperately craved. He needed to know why he wasn’t enough. She knew.
“Minho, it wasn’t because of you. You were amazing. It’s just. I met Jiyong years ago, at a fan sign, and he helped me out. He probably doesn’t remember it, but I fell for him.”
His voice broke.
“So, you dated me to get to Jiyong hyung?”
“Minho, but please. I love you. Please. Please can we try this again?”
“You love me?” He laughed. “What bullshit. If you did, you never would have done what you did.”
“Minho please. I’m so sorry. I’ve never regretted anything more.”
He pulled away from her.
“I have a girlfriend. Leave me alone.”
And he walked off. What was odd however, was that she didn’t seem too upset about that as she kept an eye out for Jiyong to return. Minho managed to walk away, but the moment he closed the door behind him, all he could think about was what she said. And how you had liked Jiyong. And known him for years. And how she dated him to get to Jiyong. Fucking hell. Why Jiyong of all people?
 ---
You somehow managed to get though the day, the only good part of which was seeing Jae stammer as he lied about tripping somewhere. The moment you walked out of the office though, you called up the one person you needed to see.
“Hey Mirae. Wanna get some coffee together?”
“For you to offer me coffee, you must be really out of it. What’s up?”
You smiled. You needed to just relax with your best friend for a while.
“Nothing much. Just... it was a long day.”
“Sure. I’m home right now, so you can come over if you want.”
“Yeah, I’ll be there in ten. Keep some sweat pants out for me.”
 You lay back relaxing on her couch, blissfully wiggling your arms in the oversized sweatshirt and comfy pants she gave you.
“I’m stealing these.”
“Don’t you fucking dare.”
You sat up and sipped on the lemon tea she made you and you could almost feel the tension leave your body.
“Okay, spill.”
You took a deep breath and turned to face her.
“You remember Jae, right?”
Her expression turned wary.
“Yes, I do. Asshole.”
“Yeah, he’s playing Jiyong in the MV. And Minho’s ex Yuna is playing… the girl.”
“Shit.”
“Yeah, I know.”
You recounted the day’s events for her, leaving out the bit about him turning up at your apartment drunk and you buying him breakfast the next morning. Mirae always hated Jae, so you knew she’d be mad when she found out, but she just remained silent. Then you told her about what Jiyong said, or rather almost said and how you cut him off.
“He never really cared about me anyway.”
“I wouldn’t say that.”
You stared at her, dumbfounded.
“I definitely wouldn’t say that.”
“What’re you talking about?”
“He’s gotten you home when you were drunk on more than one occasion. He’s taken care of you when you couldn’t walk straight. He took it upon himself to cheer up the woman he loved after her boyfriend was an asshole to her at Sohyun’s wedding. He’s comforted you whenever he felt you needed it. Granted, he didn’t know his behaviour caused it most of the time. I have never seen him as worried as he was the day you fainted and he carried you home. He keeps your confession in his wallet. Women don’t stay with him because he can’t stop thinking about you. You’re the only one who can comfort him and cheer him up when he’s feeling low. You managed to get him to cut down on his smoking. He sleeps well only around you. Y/N, you matter to him. A lot.”
“What… Love? Mirae, I thought you didn’t like the thought of us together.”
“I didn’t. Because he didn’t realise he liked you and you never called him out on shit when he was mean to you. It was bad for both of you. Worse for you though. But now, he’s changed. You’ve changed. And now, I think it’ll be better. I don’t know whether I’ll like it, but it’ll be better now. You’re happy with Minho though, so I’m not saying to break up with him. I just want you to know that… things are different now. He still has a lot to make up for. Years of him being toxic aren’t just going to disappear. But even though he told me not to tell you, I feel like you have a right to know about the things he’s done for you over the years. I may be harsh on him, but he’s my brother. And you’re my best friend. And in the end, I just want both of you to be happy. You don’t have to be happy together. Just…be happy.”
You stared at her in shock. She sighed.
“I know. I know you never knew about any of this. And maybe I should have told you earlier. But you were just beginning to get over him when you cut him out of your life and that was what you needed then. Now, things are weird. You’re working with him but you’re in a happy relationship with Minho. He likes you but he’s not trying to make a move on you, although his album is literally about you.”
“I liked him for all these years and he never said anything?”
“He liked you before you liked him. And he didn’t say anything because he was an idiot. And he was scared. And that made him an ass. Don’t get me wrong. He was a Grade A jackass, but I think you should know this.”
You couldn’t comprehend all of this. You felt overwhelmed by this crushing pain. All those years that you liked him, he liked you back? Instead of all those years of questioning yourself, the two of you could have just been together? You felt some anger, but more than anger, you just felt sad. In a barely audible whisper, you said,
“Mirae, tell me everything.”
She looked up, clearly concerned, but she told you everything. About how he started liking you ten years ago, how he convinced himself he didn’t, how he took care of you that night when you were drunk, how he went back to search for you at the park. And with every word, your heart hurt a little more. You liked Minho. It wasn’t even a possibility that you would break up with him after gaining this information, but it really twisted a knife through your heart when you thought of all those years. You stood silently after Mirae was done, gathering your things to leave. She jumped up, worried.
“Where are you going?”
“Home. I just really need a little time and space to wrap my head around this.”
“You okay?”
You turned and gave her a sad smile.
“Not exactly, but I’ll get there. I just need to think about this.”
 You got home, showered and napped. You needed time to rest and recover. It had been a very long day. You just wanted Minho to come home soon, so that you could cuddle with him and maybe have a tough conversation about everything you found out today. Oh shit. You’d also have to tell him about Yuna. And you didn’t want that. It did seem like he would be home late though.
Minho was in his studio, trying not to think too much about everything that happened when he heard a soft knock on the door. He opened it and nearly slammed it shut when he saw Yuna standing there. He would have too, if she hadn’t stuck her foot in there to prevent him from doing that.
“Can we talk Minho?”
“What do you want Yuna?”
“Yuna? Sweetheart, whatever happened to baby girl?”
He stared at her in disbelief. She walked past him and made herself comfortable on the couch.
“Minho, I need to apologise for everything that happened a few years ago. It was horrible. And if I could, I would turn back time to prevent that from happening.”
“Yeah, but you can’t, so what’s the point of all of this?”
“Minho, please. You’re the only man I’ve ever been happy with. And you know that we were happy together. Please. Let’s give this one last shot?”
Minho remained silent and Yuna took that as an invitation to move closer to him. She gently put         her hand on his thigh and starting tracing patterns.
“Minho, baby, please. I’m sorry.”
Minho’s mind was clouded. He was so mad that Jiyong hyung was so involved with his girlfriend. He was mad because of their history. He was mad because of his history. He was hurt by everything. At the back of his mind, a small voice told him that he knew that his chemistry with Yuna was unbelievable and he had never had better sex, but still. The thought of you, smiling as you hugged him after a long day couldn’t let him give in. He was tempted. So tempted to not stop Yuna’s hand that was trailing upwards but then he remembered the one time he saw you cry because of a movie. It was just a sad movie, but he had promised himself that he would never be the cause of those tears. He grabbed Yuna’s hand and turned to her to tell her to back off when he kissed him. He was too shocked to do anything about it, so she deepened it. The moment Minho realised what was going on, he pushed her off him.
“What the fuck Yuna?! I told you I have a girlfriend.”
She just looked away, not answering him.
“Get out. Get out of my studio right now and never come back.”
---
Minho got home a while later, exhausted, stressed, nervous, guilty and jealous. Not a great mix of emotions. His jealousy only amplified when he saw you working on a concept for Jiyong.   Not fucking Jiyong again. You were so deep in thought you didn’t hear him, so when he hugged you, you jumped.
“Hey.”
“Hi.”
“What’s wrong Minho? Long day?”
Minho stared at you for a minute, hating how the only thing he could think of was the way Jiyong stood before you protectively. He didn’t reply, instead leaning in to pull you into a deep kiss, his hands travelling down your legs and wrapping them around his waist.
“Yes, it was. Will you help me forget about it?”  
“Okay.”
 Not long after that, you were lying face down on the bed, with tears streaming down your face as Minho’s fingers pumped into you. He was giving you your fifth orgasm. It was too much. Way too much. It has crossed from pleasure to just plain painful. Something was wrong with him that day. He was usually very responsive to your non-verbal cues. He seemed preoccupied and angry. You barely managed to croak out,
“Minho?”
The speed of his fingers increased.
“That’s master to you.”
You couldn’t take it anymore. You cried out.
“Minho, stop! Popcorn!”
It took a minute for it to register that you had just used your safe word with him. Once it did though, everything stopped. He immediately stopped, moving away from you. You fell to your side, tears still streaming down your face. You were shaking and you couldn’t keep your eyes open. It hurt so much.
“Oh fuck.”
He tried to wrap a blanket around you but you flinched at his touch. His face fell, but he moved away. God, it hurt so much that you flinched, but it was his fault. He should have checked in on you more. You slowly covered yourself with the blanket and waited till you stopped shivering.
“Y/N, I am so sorry. Fuck. I’m really sorry. I should have checked in on you more.”
You shook your head.
“It’s okay. You didn’t mean to. And it’s over now. We just have to make sure it doesn’t happen again.”
He was unsure when he leaned closer, moving some hair back from your face.
“I’m sorry.”
You just gave him a slight smile and held his hand.
“I accept your apology.”
“I’ll get you some hot chocolate?”
“Yes please.”
And Minho left for the kitchen. While your body still hurt and you were exhausted, you weren’t mad at him. You just wanted to know what was troubling him. You were snapped out of your thoughts when a notification popped up on your phone.
It was from Mirae.
“Y/N, I’m sorry. I thought he was better than that. Remember, you can always just come and stay with me for a while.”
You furrowed your eyebrows. What was Mirae talking about? Who was she talking about? Did Jiyong do something? You opened your browser to try and figure things out when you realised your boyfriend’s name was trending. And your heart stopped when you saw why.
“BREAKING NEWS: WINNER’s MINO and Model Yuna dating!”    
---
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rpedia · 3 years
Note
I've been reading some of your old stuff lately and a question has come to mind. What inspired you to start this whole blog?
Okay yes, folks are asking if I’m still alive. I haven’t really been active on Tumblr since 2017, there was some weird stuff going down in my life, whoops. But, I will respond to this! For no particular reason at all, except I guess to let you guys also know I sorta moved on. Still, I always have this in the back of my head as something I’d like to pick back up someday, but haven’t frankly gotten control of my life enough to do so. Plus Tumblr kinda, you know... did the thing. Anyways. I built this blog because I have been RPing since 1996. I was eight years old, and I started out on Yahoo. This gave me a unique perspective: The first internet browser was in 1993. Google was created in 1998. I have been actively RPing online since before Google existed. I still RP in public chat rooms every day, shepherding newbies and exploring plots. This means I have seen... a lot. I’ve been through a lot. I watched internet communities form, I helped build some of them, I’ve moderated rooms and sites, and worked hard to keep it fair and teach others. Since I have a tendency to want to help, I made help profiles, things to make it easier for people to create their worlds. I answered questions. I answered a lot of questions. ... I answered the same questions about 30 times in a row, and it was just about time to write down a final form of my answer so next time someone asked I could just link a web page. So, I made a Tumblr in 2011, and started keeping a catalog of things I’ve answered in chatrooms when asked. Tried to make a best practices kinda thing people could at least reference. But I’m still pretty mouthy, so I decided to make it fit me. No shine, no polish, just spitting my opinions into the void and hoping someone could find a little help, maybe a tidbit that makes them realize something. I know a lot of my posts are a little oof nowadays, it was ten years ago, but I’m glad I see people still getting some use out of them by taking me with a grain of salt, as always.
So, that’s the simple answer. I got tired of repeating myself. After that, I decided for every person who asked, 10 more probably didn’t know they could, or hadn’t thought about it. If I helped a couple people here and there over time, then by god that’s what I wanted to do. So, I posted, and it turned out a lot of people could use a lot of help and I’m happy to give it. And then I got flooded with questions, went through a rough patch in my life, sunk down into mental health issues, couldn’t sit down and write posts that were “good enough”, Tumblr decided to change and everyone swore they were leaving in protest, and... I stopped posting. But I know this place helped people, so I’m staying by my promise. I don’t delete any posts I haven’t tagged “tobedeleted”. I also hope maybe I’ll be in a place, emotionally/mentally/physically where I can answer more stuff in the future.
Thank you so much to all of you who’ve read this, who’ve liked it, who still follow me even though this blog is super dead for the time being. You made me into something good, someone who tries to RP and be good to others and understand them as much as myself, and I appreciate that. In lieu of updates for the time being, I’ll leave you with this: Keep roleplaying, keep having fun, and keep being the best you can be to other people. Keep growing! There’s always somewhere to go from here, even if you can’t see it. Thank you for still being here. 💕
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I have a fic request, pretty please! Andreil (ofc!) Anyway Neil not answering his phone (cuz it died, again, oops) and Andrew losing his shit and hunting him down!
Okay it’s 2am and this is finally, finally being posted. It should have gone up like a week ago but Tumblr wouldn’t let me answer asks at the time. I’ve changed this around so many times and I don’t know if this is what you were hoping for but I tried my best! I tweaked it a little too, so sorry.
Full Masterlist.
—————
This is Josten, I don’t want to talk to you so don’t leave a message.
This is Josten, I don’t want to talk to you so don’t leave a message.
Andrew had now called Neil’s phone about twenty fucking times and he still hadn’t answered; he always answered when Andrew called him. Everyone was in the lounge at the court since it had been at least four hours since anyone had heard from him. Nicky was almost in tears, Dan and Matt looked like they were two seconds away from calling in a search party and of course Aaron the asshole looked like he didn’t care that Neil was missing. Abby was tucked underneath Coach’s arm, her face etched with worry and taking comfort from the man. It was about fucking time they got their shit together. The man in question cleared his throat just when Andrew was about to leave and search the campus himself. “Minyard sit the fuck down, we will find him we just have to piece some things together first.”
All he did was sneer at the command but stayed nonetheless. He was itching to pull out his knives and bury them in something but Renee gave him a look as if she knew exactly what he was thinking and she shook her head at him. Nicky really was crying now and Andrew had to force himself not to roll his eyes. Yes they all cared about Neil, they were all his family, but with the reactions they were giving it was like they expected the worst. Andrew could not think like that, wouldn’t think like that because even though he hated when the idiot said it, he had to believe that Neil was fine.
“Who was the last person to see him?” Allison spoke up from the other side of the room, and so now it looked like she was getting worried. When they’d first gathered here it had only been an hour and she figured he’d turn up in the next few minutes. Oh how wrong she was. Matt forced out an answer, his leg bouncing non-stop, just like it had been after the riot two years ago and Neil had been taken to Baltimore.
“Uh I did. We walked to our first class together after morning practice.” Well that didn’t really help because the junkie had his Spanish class right after that one and then he usually went on his run after that. No one would have seen him at Fox Tower after that, because no one else was free. Actually that was wrong because-
“He was talking in Japanese. He was talking in fucking Japanese.” Because the coward that was Kevin Day had one of his classes cancelled and he’d told everyone he’d go back to the dorms and figure out a new drill they could do, not that anyone really cared. Before he could do a repeat performance of choking Kevin out, Renee was on him in a flash, restraining him from any movement. When Kevin turned to look at Andrew, he’d gone as white as a sheet, as if he realised what he’d just said and visibly swallowed. Andrew was going to kill him, and then bury his body where nobody would find it. Just as soon as the good Christian girl let go of him.
“What the fuck do you mean he was talking in Japanese, Day?” Andrew’s voice was low and smooth, promising a whole lot of pain if Kevin didn’t respond in the way he was expected to. The spineless coward looked around the room at the foxes, eyes lingering on his father, before turning back to Andrew and wringing his hands in front of him.
“When I got back to the dorms, Neil was already there. I was going to ask him if he wanted to help me come up with new drills and plays when I heard it. He didn’t sound like he normally did, it was like he was someone else and was talking in whispered Japanese like he was worried about someone hearing him.”
The fucking stupid asshole.
He was dealing with Moriyama bullshit and hadn’t even bothered to tell Andrew. They had agreed on no more lies, to trust one another. Looks like Andrew had made a mistake on that front but really, it was bound to happen. That was a lie, Neil was most likely in meltdown mode and had forgotten he had people who could help him now. Nicky was hysterical now and started yelling at Kevin, tears falling down his cheeks. “Well you speak Japanese too dickwad, what the fuck was he actually saying or are you going to wait another four hours to tell us that?”
“I don’t know what he was talking about! There were a few quick ‘yes’ or ‘no’ answers and an ‘of course’ but he wasn’t actually giving information. He probably didn’t want to get into trouble.”
Oh Andrew was going to enjoy being responsible for the death of the great Kevin Day. Just as he was about to fight Renee to get to him, the sound of the door opening pushed through his senses and he swivelled to see Neil walk into the room. Nicky gave a cry of relief, getting onto his feet and joining Matt as they ran over to fuss over the redhead. Neil tried meeting Andrew’s gaze and smile, but all he could do was glare at the sight of those piercing blues. Andrew was quite angry with him, and he’d soon find that out. Wymack was also quite angry by the looks of it, arms now crossed over his chest and a face like thunder. “Where in the actual fuck have you been, Josten? And don’t give me any of your usual bullshit because it’s not going to be good enough.”
Andrew watched Neil gently extricate himself from his cuddly giants and sighed as he looked around the room at everyone. It was Wymack who’d asked for answers yes, but Neil didn’t look at anyone other than Andrew, as if it was just the two of them.
“Ichirou called. He wanted an update on his assets and to make sure we weren’t doing anything stupid. He also wanted to reiterate what would happen if we didn’t manage to attract pro teams that weren’t to his liking. I told him that he wouldn’t be let down.”
Aaron piped up for the first time since they’d all walked into the court hours ago. “It’s been literal hours Josten, a text to say ‘I’m still alive, unfortunately’ would have been great. I’ve wasted my whole day.”
“I know how long it’s been, jackass.” Neil snapped, glaring daggers into Aaron’s skull. Andrew was still vibrating with anger and couldn’t hold it back any longer.
“Everyone get the fuck out.” When they all just stared at him, not moving, he emphasised his point by unsheathing a knife and giving a firm, “Now.”
Nicky and Kevin moved like lightning and were the first to leave. Allison smirked for some stupid reason, winking at Neil as she strode out of the room. Matt and Dan looked weary but still left, Aaron on their heels. Renee gave them both gentle smiles and nodded her head. Wymack gave Neil a stern look like he wanted to say more but thought better of hit, rubbing his forehead and mumbling about being ‘too old for this shit’. Abby gave Neil a few motherly touches, which the redhead flinched away from for the first time in a long time, and then she too was gone.
Now that they were alone Neil tried explaining with an, “Andrew I...” but he trailed off, seemingly lost for words. He didn’t have a chance to think of anything else before Andrew flung himself at his stupid junkie, fists gripping at Neil’s- no Andrew’s –t-shirt and burying his head into his chest. He smelt of apples and sweetness and god, Andrew felt like he could finally fucking breathe.
“You didn’t answer your fucking phone. Why didn’t you answer the phone?” Neil’s arms moved, one wrapping around Andrew’s waist the other holding the back of his neck, keeping him against his chest.
“Ichirou had a few extra words before the call ended. He said he was ‘sorry for my loss’. I didn’t have a clue what he was talking about at first but then I remembered. It’s the anniversary of mom’s death. I turned my phone off after and just ran. I came back when I turned my phone back on and saw the missed calls.”
As much as he hated Mary Hatford, he knew why Neil still mourned her sometimes. He was slowly beginning to understand that what his mother had done to him was wrong, that she had abused him for years, but she was all he had known and was the only safe thing for him. He hated it but kept quiet, not wanting to get into an argument on the matter right now. “Just let me know you’re alright next time. Kevin heard your call, heard the Japanese. I thought, I thought...”
Neil suddenly cupped his face in his scarred hands, tilting his head back so they were looking at each other, before leaning in to press their foreheads together. “I’m right here ‘Drew and I’m not going to disappear again. I’m right here.”
The kiss that followed was soft, gentle and slow, so unlike them but it was what they needed just then. They need to be able to feel everything and to be able to feel each other. Andrew didn’t want to let go, he wanted to stay and kiss Neil until his lips went numb but exhaustion was a bitch. He pulled back, looking at Neil’s lips which were swollen from their kisses and he had a pretty red flush that had blossomed on his cheeks.
“Come on, let’s go. I’m hungry and you owe me ice cream after what you just pulled.” Neil just laughed and nodded, taking one of Andrew’s hands in his own and linking their fingers together, walking them both towards the door.
“Whatever you want ‘Drew, whatever you want and I’ll give it to you.”
—————
If you want to be on my aftg tag list then just hit me up, folks:)
Tags: @incorrect-the-foxhole-court @junkiejosten10 @oreosndscones @koholania @skunked-up-kicks @shutuptheooo @hannahoftheinternet @palmettofoxesthings @jostenlovesminyard @fangirl0503 @stop-breathing-its-annoying @incorrect-the-foxhole-court @intoomanyfandomsstuff @imstupidremember @fancyclodpaintercookie @heccccccccc @prettyboysareindemand @acetheticbitchass @meatiors @princeofexy @emilyfairchild @kmskms123kms  @yourtypicalbookworn @sadboyayeron @b00kworm  @booksandbeanbags
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yelpfic · 3 years
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2020 Writing (Year in Review)
In 2019, I posted 3K words on AO3.
In 2020, I posted 214K words on AO3.
I have probably written more fic this year than I have in my entire life... and I didn't even start until April.
Since I feel like I'm new to writing all over again (the last time I wrote regularly was probably about a decade ago), this has been a year of experimentation. One obvious change is that I'm writing from this "alt" account, where I've been posting whatever the hell iddy, gratuitous, self-indulgent stories happened to fall out of my brain. (Perhaps as a consequence, I noticed that the ratio of public bookmarks across all my fics clocked in at around 50%. In other words, half the people who bookmarked my works chose to do so privately!)
I also experimented with:
participating in fic exchanges and prompt memes
writing for a variety of fandoms: big and small, new and dead
varying up my writing style: using present and past tenses, ranging from super florid descriptions to conversational prose
self-promotion on Tumblr, which meant attempting to learn how to use it. I'm sure I still don't have all the etiquette down, but no one's complained yet I guess.
My main project this year has been Once a Runner, the fic that got me started writing again, so I owe quite a lot to it. It's also sucked me deep into Eyeshield 21, a fandom that was active 10-15 years ago but still somehow has a few loyal fans. I am deeply grateful to these folks for... well... existing! In addition to OAR, I've written four other ES21 fics this year, each with a different pairing. In all but one fic, I managed to use a different obscure character tag that has never been used before!
This year, I've done a decent job (mostly) working on one big project at a time. I'm starting to get used to the feeling of always having an active writing project again, letting it churn away in my brain in a background process. Sometimes I'm rewarded with a scene or a plot idea that comes out of nowhere, like a plant that produces mysterious fruit - both delightful and worrying at the same time.
I wrap up this year embarking on a new project, Solid as Stone, which, as currently planned, is going to take me even further out of my comfort zone.
AO3 stats and meme responses below the cut.
My AO3 stats at the end of the year:
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Meme questions:
Best title: Cloak and Dagger, Cape and Cowl
Worst title: Lightbringer Mine
Longest title: Their offers should not charm us (their evil gifts would harm us) (65 characters)
Shortest title: Talisman (8 characters)
Best first line: "Don't," the witcher's arm shot out, barring his companion mid-step, "touch."
Worst first line: Yeah, in hindsight, Sena shouldn't have answered that doorbell.
Best last line: "It will be done," he agrees, and presses the lilies into her hands. "My promise is solid as stone."
Worst last line: "I can't win or lose until you bring your strain to market. All I ask is that you hurry up and regrow, so we can really compete."
Conclusion: I need to work on endings.
Looking back, did you write more fics than you thought you would this year, less than you thought, or about what you predicted? I wrote more than I could have imagined in my wildest dreams.
What pairing/genre/fandom did you write that you would never have predicted last year? Everything. I wasn't into any of these fandoms last year.
What’s your favorite story this year? Not the most popular, but the one that makes you the happiest. OAR, for sure. It got me back into writing, and I devoted an enormous amount of mental energy to it. Runners up (pun intended) were any ES21 rarepair fics where I lamented the lack of content for a pairing I loved, tried to explain everything I loved about them in fic form, and basically turned into my ship manifesto/soapbox. In fic form.
Okay, NOW your most popular story. Solid as Stone. OAR comes close by sole virtue of being a long, multichaptered work posted over 8 months, but with a single chapter of under 3K words, and having been up for under two weeks, SAS is already beating OAR in some statistics. I never realized Genshin Impact was such a hot fandom, even for a rarepair like this.
Story most underappreciated by the universe? All my stories got quite a bit more attention than I expected (thank you, everyone, sincerely), but I'd say Cloak and Dagger, Cape and Cowl. It's original, it was written in an exchange, and it has a decent plot (if I do say so myself) and even a bit of smut. Perhaps F/F work is not so popular?
Story that could have been better? I could probably list multiple things I'd want to improve about each story, but let me just limit myself to one. Lightbringer Mine had more story in it that I didn't get around to telling, and the ending felt a little abrupt. I feel a little awkward extending it now, though, as it was a gift fic.
Saddest story? Hmm, I think just about every story I wrote had a happy-ish ending. I suppose I'll go with C&D,C&C.
Most fun? TBH, the same? There are several lighthearted moments and a heist scene. 
Most fucked-up story? Stars and Stripes Forever (lack of link intentional)
Hardest story to write? Once a Runner
Easiest/most fun story to write? Always Knew I'd Fall. I went skeet shooting once, and as soon as I had the idea that Kid and Hiruma might be good at it, the story basically wrote itself. I also thought the song from the title was too perfect of a Kid song to pass up.
Top five scenes you would like to see illustrated: I would die happy to see any scene from OAR illustrated. Off the top of my head, the Hiruma and Sena bathtub scene, haircutting scene, or Hiruma taunting Monta in the car when we first meet Monta. From other fics, Kid walking around the course with Hiruma and making him carrying his gun properly in "Always Thought I'd Fall", and Sara Spectacular blocking the shadow bolts in "Cloak and Dagger, Cape and Cowl".
Did you take any writing risks this year? What did you learn from them? I experimented with posting explicit works, and as it turns out, sex sells. I also really put my kinks out there (sexual and otherwise) and was surprised and gratified to find others who appreciated it. Conclusion: it's okay to write the fic that you've always wanted to write. Even if it's embarrassing, or if some will judge you for it, writing for likeminded souls makes more sense than writing to avoid critics.
What are your fic writing goals for next year? I have a lot more ideas for SAS, so I'd like to make that my next big project. I'm also signed up for Five Figure Fic Exchange, so that means I have a 10k fic due by the end of the month that I need to... start... Beyond that, I'd like to write more original works, perhaps something that I can even publish under my real name?? Is that crazy, brain??
Some specific things I've struggled with this year that I'd like to improve: titles and character names, physical descriptions, making my endings less abrupt
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