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#i tried to keep it fallout related in some parts

lurkingshan · 10 months

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Be My Favorite and the Struggle to Change

We got another great episode this week, and it really cemented my favorite part of what this show is doing: they are taking us on a journey with Kawi as he tries to change. And this show understands that shit is hard. Trying to change how you think, the way you react to things that make you uncomfortable, and how you let it drive your behavior is some of the hardest work an adult ever has to do. My bestie @waitmyturtles is not watching BMF with us, but she wrote about this recently in relation to Khai in Theory of Love and the same ideas apply here. Behavior change is work. It is never linear. And to do it successfully you need supportive community around you. This show is honest about that.

This week we saw these themes in action as Kawi once again got in his own way. After his heart to heart with Pisaeng they have settled into a friendship and Kawi opened up to Pisaeng about his dad’s health struggles. He took his advice to go to Pear and her surgeon father to get his dad an earlier surgery date. And he was so nervous about how to ask for help, but when Kawi learned Pisaeng had already laid the ground work for him by filling in Pear and asking her to be the one to make the request of her dad, was he grateful? Nope! Instead, he retreated into old patterns and had a little meltdown, nearly tanking his one shot to save his dad’s life because he couldn’t control his emotions.

And I get what was happening with him in these scenes. Realizing Pear already knew threw him off his game and sent him spinning. Kawi is not good at keeping a calm head when he is caught off guard. He knew only Pisaeng was aware of his dad’s problem, and immediately realized Pisaeng must have been the one to tell her. Because he is still fighting the instinct to interpret everything Pisaeng does as suspect (and his own discomfort with his growing feelings for Pisaeng), he got angry instead of feeling grateful. And because he can’t keep a calm head ever, his decision was to abruptly and rudely leave the people who are trying to help his dad so he can go vent his anxiety and anger on Pisaeng yet again.

I love that Max called him on this (Max is really working overtime to support Kawi’s growth, he deserves an all expenses paid vacation to the queer friendly beach resort of his choice). I love that Pisaeng was generous enough to forgive him for it once again. I love that Pear and her father decided to help him without holding his rude behavior against him. This is the community Kawi needs around him if he is going to change for the better, and he is lucky to have so many great people in his corner to look out for him and forgive his missteps. And while Kawi is still not great at managing his emotions, he is already getting better at dealing with the fallout of his outbursts.

Which brings me to the next part of the episode, where Kawi gets drunk, apologizes to Pisaeng, and starts testing out these feelings that are making him so anxious. He wants to understand why Pisaeng likes him. He wants to understand why he is drawn to Pisaeng despite his own beliefs about his sexual orientation and who he likes. And with his inhibitions lowered and his vulnerability up, he gives in to his curiosity.

Now I must admit I did not fully love this kiss scene. Parts of it worked very well for me (the lead up with Kawi puzzling out why Pisaeng likes him, the way Kawi was the one to invite it, the way the chemistry was there but somewhat muted because Kawi is still testing his feelings) and parts of it didn’t (in particular I am having a hard time swallowing the way Pisaeng attempted to push it beyond a kiss when Kawi was that drunk and clearly confused). That said, the aftermath of the kiss was handled so well, because we got to see the way Kawi has grown even as he continues to make mistakes.

I was afraid he was going to regress the morning after, but instead Kawi openly acknowledges the kiss and his own confusion about what it means and actively attempts to discuss it honestly with Pisaeng. That is some serious growth. Kawi wants to understand what’s happening between them and he wants to make sure he and Pisaeng are okay even as he struggles to figure out what he wants. We didn’t get to see their latest rooftop conversation yet, but just the fact that Kawi is insisting on talking it out is so refreshing. And the end credits scene where they openly acknowledge the attraction between them gives us a solid map of where we’re going, as Kawi says he is not yet ready to give up on Pear and Pisaeng commits to waiting. They are going to be together, but we will need to patiently wait as Kawi does the hard work of changing and becoming someone who can be a good partner to Pisaeng.

#be my favorite #thai bl #shan shouts into the void

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duskyashe · 1 year

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NaNoWriMo Day #18

[masterlist] [part two]

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If there was one thing Danny wasn't expecting when he ascended the ghostly throne, it was having to worry about a freaking line of succession. For one thing, he was under the impression the only reason he was the new ghost king at all was because he'd defeated Pariah Dark in single combat. For another, what did they expect him to do, find a nice ghost girl and settle down? He was fifteen, no way was he ready for that kind of commitment! Nevermind the fact none of us even know if being a halfa effects the ability to have kids, Danny thought grimly.

He'd brought all those points up with his advisors before, but the only one with any real advice he could actually use was Pandora. "You need an heir, but it doesn't have to be the same being the entire time. Be warned, however. Some obsessions fare better in royal positions than others do. Those with freedom related obsessions like your Ellie's would be driven mad within short order." Much more useful than Clockwork's cryptic words of, "Time is the wise King's friend."

After some deliberation and careful study of the Infinite Realms' bylaws and charters, he'd made Jazz his heir with Ellie the "spare" in case Jazz wasn't in a position to succeed Danny. This sort of solution was a stopgap one at best, but it would at least give him a few years, a decade at most, to figure out a more permanent solution. If Jazz's inherent liminality wasn't enough to satisfy the bylaws for more than a few years, then they'd switch Jazz with Ellie and have Ember take up "spare" status, but again, no one knew anything about this kind of situation, it was so new territory. Jazz might be able to give Danny ten years to figure out a more appropriate heir, or she won't be able to give him more than a few months. The variables were different enough from the norm in this situation that no one was happy with how things were at that point in time.

He really needed a better solution, though, and soon, because Ember's obsession wasn't any less freedom based than Ellie's was...

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Nearly five years after Danny's ascension to kinghood, the foundations of the Infinite Realms shifted ever so slightly, almost as though a mostly unstoppable force had tried its hand against an almost immovable object. Six months after that, Danny suddenly nearly collapsed in his applied physics class as he felt the creation of a new halfa. It was sudden, it was painful, and it was familiar. But the cry of a newly formed core, so perfectly in sync with his own, being brutalized nearly made his eyes flare green. Instantly, he knew exactly where this newborn halfa was (—halfway across the world—?), he knew exactly what was happening to them (—they're hitting him with tasers—!), and he knew that if he didn't get there as soon as possible, he'd lose something precious (—they'll ruin him, his obsession, his core—!). It was a good thing Jazz had been his emergency contact on file ever since she turned eighteen, she'd understand what he didn't say, what he couldn't say, over the phone.

Danny was excused from the rest of his classes for the day and his sister picked him up from his physics teacher's office.

"What do you need?" No nonsense, straight to the point. Jazz had grown a lot since his accident, since he became the king of an entire dimension.

Danny released an anxious breath. "I need the Infinity Map." Another breath. "And Frostbite. There's a new halfa, and he's being tortured as we speak." Just keep breathing. "His core cried out to my own, Jazz. From halfway across the world." Jazz's breath hitched at that, and he almost snorted. Exactly. Later. First, he had to save the kid, get him treatment, and deal with the idiots who dared play with things they didn't understand. Then he could deal with the fallout of him hearing the newborn halfa's cry. Deep breaths. That's it, just keep breathing.

"Do you have any more information than his location and current situation?" His sister was a blessing, truly.

"I have a name," he offered. Deep breaths, stay calm, just keep breathing. "Jason Todd." His core sang with protective fury, his obsession crying for blood. That was one of his that those assassins were trying to break. His son, that was his son.

Over my half dead body.

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So. What happens when you're so into a fanfic that you lose all track of time? Well, I end up frantically trying to write a ficlet in two hours that makes sense and doesn't leave too much hanging (⁠^⁠～⁠^⁠;⁠)⁠ゞdid I succeed?

I was originally going to use this prompt to continue one of my previous ficlets, but I also really wanted to write something new, so my muse fought me tooth and nail until I finally gave in (⁠´⁠-⁠﹏⁠-⁠`⁠；⁠) that's part of the reason why I'm writing ficlets instead of a full story this month lol I knew my muse was going to be fickle and wouldn't let me stick with one, or even two storylines lol it's happened before (⁠^⁠_⁠^⁠メ⁠)

Y'all rock, honestly. Like, I know I say that every day, but I genuinely mean it every day (^⁠‿⁠^⁠)

Have a good morning/day/night!

#danny phantom #batman #dc x dp #fanfic #dp x dc #dp crossover #dp au #fanfiction #nanowrimo 2022 #NaNoWriMo Day 18 #yes the Infinite Realms felt superboy's punch to reality #it unsettled many of the residents #the Observants wanted to do something about it but Clockwork stonewalled them lol #and yes Danny DID just adopt Jason Todd right after he was dipped in the pit!#no Danny doesn't know this baby halfa from Adam #do you think he cares?#this kid's newly formed core somehow singled his out and managed to resonate with it well enough to cry for help #FROM HALFWAY ACROSS THE WORLD #like hell Danny's gonna leave this kid alone! that kid's his now #oh he's Batman's kid?#tough luck buddy he's mine now #finders keepers losers weepers #shoulda kept a better eye on him #maybe shouldn't have let him die in the first place #what's that Jay? you wanna visit him?#... you're lucky the kid likes you Bruce #you can have him for the weekends #maybe every other major holiday #maybe #only if you teach me that cool move you did the other day when fighting that one villain

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mhevarujta · 3 months

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The Changeling Boy

I think that there is something particularly interesting in Oliver dressing as the changeling boy for his party.

In Midsummer Night’s Dream, the changeling boy is a lovely little boy from India that was taken by the fairies. This was a lovely boy that pulled in Titania’s attention because of how lovely it was and Oberon got jealous. Here we can have both interpretations of a custody battle and of desire and jealousy. Saltburn is of course sexually inclined.

The theme of the party is discussed and decided upon as the family is having breakfast the day after Venetia and Oliver vamped it out and Farleigh has spilled the beans to Felix. Felix has not indicated he returns Oliver’s feelings. But he is still jealous. In some interpretations about the changeling boy, Titania’s desire relates to experiencing this feeling towards a person who represents something “irrational, unattainable”. To Oberon the boy gains value through Titania’s desire for him. Yet it’s Titania who keeps the boy ‘perforce’ when Oberon wants to make it “Knight of his train, to trace the forests wild”. This is something that fits with the dynamic we see in Saltburn. There is a sense of possession, a weird incestuous vibe without anything tangible and a battle for control between the siblings. When Felix/Oberon is jealous, Oliver/the changeling boy does not think twice before dropping Venetia/Titania like a hot potato.

At the same time, by the time of the party Oliver is in bad terms with both siblings. We still get an emotional complexity in the relationships. Venetia stares at Oliver as she’s dancing with another guy. Felix ignores him but he’s not unaffected by their fallout. He’s angry, sad and confused. Oliver going as the Changeling boy at the time works because it represents his need to be this figure that is wanted, desired and fought over at a time when that is slipping from his grasp. It’s his desperate desire to regain what has been lost. But throughout the night Oliver feels more and more like a human child that has been thrown in a world where he will never belong no matter how much he tries to be the perfect acolyte. Changelings are taken from their homes. Oliver wasn’t stolen. He CRAVED to be away, but he cheated his way in. He lied and manipulated to be ‘torn from home’, from his life until then. He tried to make himself into what these people wanted, and the more distant the future he had in mind seems, the more desperate he becomes. As the night progresses and his expulsion from the ‘Fairyland’ becomes more and more apparent, he slowly resolves that he will keep whatever part of that life he can by any means necessary.

#saltburn #oliver quick #emerald fennell #a midsummer night's dream

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mayullla · 2 years

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So yeahhhh. Uh, it's still beer candy so huh??? Anyway, about the stepbro angst. Imagine if mc is comatosed and flatlines. Then her dad and their mom got divorced as some sort of fallout. Some of the brothers, likely the younger ones, begged their mom to work it out because they don't wanna risk having their baby sis get taken away to some other country when she needs them most (especially with a bitter grudge about how her dad is a neglectful parent). ☆Starlight Anon

I should really follow my rule of not answering ask when at 2 am when my head can't process anything- Sorry about the misunderstanding but uhhh yeah basically they are these non alcoholic gummy candies that look like beer! (Kind of like cola candies? Kinda) No alcohol in them again (like you know those pizza or hamburger gummies that look like the food but are clearly just gummies, they just kind of look like the food but is not it) [related to this]

Part 1 ;; fem!reader, child!reader, 13 step-brothers au

Hmmm well, I guess that it would happen at some point when more and more fights started to occur and nothing is working between your father and their mother. Every day is a fight, and when you got sick your father isn't sure what to do anymore not after some of the brothers just outright yelled at him for being horrible.

It was at that moment, that anger just burst as he told them that he didn't want to hear it when he was only out of the country to support his daughter you only to be told that he was horrible like this??

It wasn't like the brothers could cut him from taking you away, when he told them that he would take you away from them. Not even when Xiao was so close to hitting your father yet was held by Kazuha and Thoma not to do so. Not like they could get close to you and take you away when he threatened to call the police on them. When Zhongli and Kaeya tried to reason with him, had to keep multiple brothers away from the man in fear they would do something rash even if that wasn't their personality. Everyone is just so sensitive... too many emotions were in the air.

When Bennett and Itto begged their mother that they must keep you, when Chongyun felt his heart drop when she told them that she can't do anything. It was only time again when one of the brothers snapped again-

"Why? Is it because you don't like that man anymore that you want everything related to him to be gone? You did that to us anyway, who cares what happened to that girl no?"

"Ajax!!"

"Hmph, I am not wrong. All you want is to jump from one man to the next you never cared and always preferred to travel abroad running away from everything and leaving whatever existence that you created here in another's hand."

"I do care!"

"HAhaha, what a funny joke you are making mother. Please continue in your travels we will take care of everything here without you." Childe smile. "Leave all the children that you so called care and continue dreaming and being delusional that you would ever find love."

Part 3

#genshin 13 stepbrothers au #genshin impact #genshin imagines #genshin scenarios #genshin modern au #platonic #angst #childe #tartaglia #genshin #genshin x reader #genshin x you #genshin drabbles #sibling relationship #look i am very bad at angst-#;-;#mayu starlight anon

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nerdzzone · 1 year

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Dear Chris...

Summary: Madeline knew that Chris was the love of her life, but when his level of celebrity and hints about marriage become too much for her to handle, she realizes she has to make some hard decisions.

Part of the Back To You series

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October 2015

Considering who her boyfriend was, Madeline usually felt a shiver of dread whenever her name appeared in a magazine. There’d been several times that she’d been mentioned in relation to Chris over the years and while the articles themselves usually weren’t too scathing, the fallout that always followed had her nervous about any publication that mentioned her name.

However, the one that she was currently holding was one that she was proud to be a part of. It was an international magazine for ballerinas that was known to provide training and career advice mostly aimed at those just starting out in the industry. It was only published four times a year and for their fall edition, Madeline had the honour of being featured. She’d done the interview months earlier and had been eagerly waiting for it to arrive, but as she flipped to the page that her article was on and started to read, she was immediately disappointed.

It was a magazine that was marketed to a very specific audience, it wasn’t one that tried to appeal to the general public. When she’d been interviewed, she hadn’t mentioned anything at all about her relationship. Yet, over half the article was more about Chris than it was about her.

It was senseless considering she hadn’t provided any juicy new gossip about him and the basic background information they’d included about their relationship and his current projects was unlikely to sell any magazines to people who weren’t interested in the ballet side of it anyway, but it just solidified what Madeline had been feeling for a while: No one cared about her, they only cared about Chris. She’d been so proud when she’d been contacted to be featured and now it just felt like they’d been hoping she’d give them some kind of inside scoop. She thought they’d been acknowledging her accomplishments and giving her the space to be a mentor for up and coming dancers, but now she felt used and like they just wanted to take advantage of her connection to Chris to appeal to a wider audience.

It was the same story every time.

This was the most prestigious media request she’d ever had, but there’d been other opportunities - like a few ‘a day in the life of a ballerina’ videos for various YouTube channels or Instagram takeovers for dancing apparel companies that endorsed the ballet - and every time she made an appearance she spent more time dodging questions about Chris than she did providing any of the insights or expertise that she’d been told she was supposed to share. He overshadowed her entire life. Nothing she ever achieved in her career would be more noteworthy to anyone than her relationship.

That thought brought tears of frustration to her eyes and she slammed down the magazine in a huff, unable to even look at it a moment longer.

She’d worked so hard to get where she was in her career and while she didn’t do it for the praise, it irked her that none of it would ever matter as long as she was with Chris. She didn’t want to be interesting because of her boyfriend, she wanted her accomplishments to stand out in their own right.

She sat in stunned silence as she frantically fought back the tears when her phone lit up with a text from Chris.

Hey! I just got my hands on a copy of your magazine. Your answers were so thoughtful, you really nailed it. So proud of you, Maddie!

Chris wasn’t narcissistic enough to have not noticed how much the article talked about him. Madeline knew that he’d purposefully ignored it to keep the focus on her, but in that moment his lack of acknowledgement only added to her frustration. She wanted him to be as outraged as she was, she wanted him to truly understand how undermined she felt every time he unknowingly stole the spotlight from her and she wanted him to do something about it.

But the problem was that even she didn’t know what that ‘something’ could be and she knew that it was unfair to expect Chris to have any kind of solution. So, after pushing down her feelings enough to send a thoughtful thank you message back to Chris, she spent the rest of her day stewing in her own resentment as she wracked her brain for some way to shift the narrative of her life.

Two weeks later

“Chris! Hurry up!” Madeline called down the hall to their bedroom where Chris was packing. “If we don’t leave soon you’re going to be late!”

“I know, I know,” Chris assured her as he jogged down the hall with his bag slung over his shoulder and his sunglasses already on his face to dampen the shine of the late morning sunshine. “I’m going as fast as I can. I don’t know how you’re not dyin’ this morning too.”

Madeline smiled and took pity on him as she stretched up to place a soothing kiss on his cheek.

“Because I knew when to stop,” she reminded him. “And I didn’t decide it would be smart to end the night doing shots of tequila with the groom.”

They’d spent the previous evening at Anna’s wedding and while Chris was grateful that he’d managed to sneak away from filming long enough to attend, it was obvious that he was regretting not requesting an extra day to recover from the festivities as rushing to make his flight was proving to be difficult.

“I know,” he groaned as they headed out to Madeline’s car. “It sounded like a good idea at the time.”

“I tried to tell you that it wasn’t,” she teased him. “But you assured me that you were a grown man and you knew what you were doing.”

“Well, apparently I was wrong,” Chris chuckled as they pulled out of the driveway. “It was a great wedding though.”

“It was,” Madeline agreed. “And I’m glad that Anna was able to relax and actually enjoy herself. She’s been going full bridezilla all week.”

“Was she really that bad?”

“You have no idea, you’re lucky you weren’t here,” Madeline smiled. “I mean, I wasn’t even a bridesmaid and I spent half the week putting out fires for her. She kept calling me crying about how no one would listen to her and no one understood how absolutely crucial it was that the bows on the table centres were maroon and not burgundy. I had to keep reminding her that weddings are supposed to be happy and fun.”

“That’s so not like her,” Chris raised an eyebrow. “I can’t even picture it.”

“It surprised me too,” Madeline agreed. “But I guess weddings are more stressful than we would have thought.”

“That’s true,” Chris smirked. “Maybe you shouldn’t be so quick to judge, that might be you one day.”

As soon as the words left his mouth, Madeline felt a wave of dread. She knew she should be excited at the thought of him proposing, but she’d spent the last few weeks since she’d read that stupid article fighting off some serious doubts. Not about her love for Chris - she knew that was solid no matter how frustrated she was by his overwhelming fame - but about how they could move forward together without her always feeling inferior. The conflicting emotions she’d been grappling with had the mention of marriage feeling more like a threat than an honour.

“I’d never be like that,” she assured him, realizing she’d taken a moment too long to answer him. “And that won’t be happening any time soon anyway.”

Out of the corner of her eye, she could see that her response only made Chris’ smirk widen even more.

“Could be sooner than you think…”

Before Madeline could stop herself, a scoff fell from her lips.

“It can’t happen sooner than I expect it to.”

Chris’ smirk faltered then as his eyebrows scrunched together in confusion.

“What?”

“How can I get married ‘sooner than I think’? At the very least, I’d have to accept a proposal first which would give me some idea when to expect it.”

“That’s not what I meant,” Chris insisted. “Just that you never know what’s around the corner.”

“Well, I would know if a wedding was around the corner because I would have to plan it.”

“Why are you getting so grumpy about this?”

“I’m not being grumpy,” Madeline shrugged. “I’m just pointing out that what you said made no sense.”

“You’re getting really defensive,” Chris informed her. “Do you not want to marry me or something?”

“What? When did I say that?”

“You didn’t,” Chris conceded. “But as soon as I brought up the possibility of it happening anytime soon you got pretty pedantic.”

Madeline rolled her eyes as his claim.

“I did not. You’re just being sensitive because you’re hungover.”

“That’s not true, don’t blame this on me.”

“Blame what on you?”

“This argument!”

“I didn’t realize we were arguing,” Madeline sighed. “I just pointed out that weddings don’t pop up out of nowhere, you didn't need to turn it into a whole issue.”

“It was more than that, Madeline.”

“It really wasn’t.”

Chris opened his mouth to argue, but the pounding in his head from the night before had him feeling too tired to push the discussion any further. Shifting in his seat, he turned his shoulders away from Madeline to look out the window and the rest of the ride was filled with a tense silence.

After she’d dropped him off, Madeline drove home with her heart heavy in her chest.

He was ready to propose, he wanted them to get married soon which meant he was probably already planning out when they would start a family.

And Madeline wasn’t sure how much longer she’d be able to stall him.

It made sense - they’d been together for almost five years, far longer than most people they knew had been together without an engagement - but she wasn’t ready for everything that she would have to give up to give him the life that he wanted. She loved him with all her heart, but she knew that planning a wedding would take more time than she’d be able to put aside during any given ballet season and having a baby would be the end of her career as she knew it. She wasn’t ready to put her dreams aside just yet. She was hitting her stride and edging closer every day to being in the top of her field and the thought of walking away from that made her stomach turn almost as much as the dejected look on Chris’ face had when he climbed out of the car without more than a mumbled ‘goodbye’.

She knew she had to talk to him, she knew that the only way to resolve any of the hesitation she was feeling was to explain herself to Chris and try to reach some kind of compromise, but she wasn’t sure the conversation would be well received and the urge to bury her head in the sand almost won out. However, by the time she’d arrived back at their house and felt the same lonely emptiness that she always did when she was there without Chris, she managed to work up the courage to give him a call. A quick glance at the time told her that he’d probably just boarded the plane and wouldn’t be likely to answer his phone, but leaving him a message would still be considered extending an olive branch and then the ball would be in his court to reach out when he’d calmed down.

However, it quickly became apparent that her plan was flawed as she curled up in bed that night - over nine hours after he would have landed and seen her message - with no reply from Chris. His silence sent a flash of panic through her and renewed her determination to explain her feelings, but as the days passed and turned into weeks with all her calls going unanswered or too brief for any meaningful discussion, the panic and guilt shifted back to bitterness. If he was mad enough that he couldn’t even stand the thought of talking to her just because she’d simply hinted that she wasn’t ready for marriage then it was clear that he wasn’t particularly open to any discussion about the subject.

The more she thought about that, the more her resentment began to build.

He must have expected her to just happily drop everything as soon as he decided it was time for them to get married and have a family. He obviously hadn’t given any consideration to her career or her goals and how they would be affected by that. In that moment it felt like he saw her the way the rest of the world did, that he thought everything she did was secondary to his accomplishments and his needs and could be just pushed aside without a second thought.

That wasn’t the life that Madeline wanted and she realized that something needed to change.

She loved him and couldn’t imagine her life without him, but she’d already made so many sacrifices for their relationship. She’d taken the abuse from his fans without much complaint, she’d put up with every achievement she’d had since they got together being overshadowed by his celebrity, but she wasn’t going to walk away from her passion to give him the family that he wanted if he couldn’t even be bothered to have a conversation about it.

He needed a wake up call and if he wasn’t going to answer his phone then Madeline could only think of one other way to get his attention.

She needed to leave.

He would be home in three days which would give her just enough time to get her things out of his house and while the thought had her heart breaking in her chest, she felt like it was her only option. He would call her, she was sure that he would. He wouldn’t just let their entire relationship end with a note, but if he did then it would save her the pain of hearing his heart break when she told him that wasn’t ready for the family that he was so desperate to have. As much as she wanted to believe that he’d be understanding of her need to continue chasing her dreams, she really wasn’t sure that their relationship would survive anyway once she told him that she didn’t want to get married yet.

It seemed to her that they were at an impasse and while she desperately hoped she was wrong and they could surpass the giant hurdle that appeared to be in front of them, she put her plan in motion with a heavy heart as she wondered if she would ever see the love of her life again.

November 2015

Chris: She’s gone

Scott: What? Who’s gone?

Chris: Madeline. She’s gone and she’s not coming back.

Almost as soon as he sent the message, a call from Scott lit up the screen of his phone.

“She’s gone and she’s not coming back?” Scott questioned as soon as Chris answered. “What are you talking about? You’re making it sound like she’s dead.”

If Chris hadn’t been so heartbroken, he probably would have found Scott’s dramatic misinterpretation just a little bit funny but in that moment he couldn’t even muster up a smile.

“She’s not, but she left me,” he explained. “I just got home and all her stuff is gone, she left some shitty note saying she can’t do this anymore.”

There was a moment of shocked silence before Scott recovered enough to speak.

“That doesn’t make any sense. Were you guys fighting? What happened?”

“We had one little disagreement before I left,” Chris admitted. “I made a joke about proposing soon, she got super defensive and it pissed me off. I was busy filming so we didn’t have time to talk about it and then I came home to this fuckin’ note.”

There was another moment of silence and Chris braced himself for whatever he knew his brother was struggling to say.

“You didn’t have time or you didn’t make time?” Scott questioned. “Were you avoiding her because you were mad?”

“I was busy,” Chris insisted. “I didn’t have time to be distracted.”

“Did she try to talk to you?”

“She called me a bunch of times, but it’s hard to squeeze in a quick discussion about her not wanting to marry me between takes.”

“We’ve talked about your future wedding so many times and she’s never even shown a hint of doubt,” Scott assured him. “She does want to marry you, Chris.”

“Well, clearly not!” Chris snapped down the phone. “Because I’m standing here in a half empty house with a fuckin’ note that says otherwise!”

“Call her,” Scott urged him, ignoring his raised voice and misplaced anger. “Call her right now and figure it out.”

“No, I’m not gonna do that.” Chris’ immediate and firm refusal earned a groan of frustration from his brother, but he was undeterred. “If she’d wanted to talk, she would have stuck around instead of leaving a note. I’m not gonna chase after her with my tail between my legs if she doesn’t even have the guts to tell me to my face that she’s leaving.”

“Chris, this is Madeline we’re talking about,” Scott reminded him, his tone not far from begging as he hoped his brother would see reason. “This isn’t some fling, this is the love of your life. You can’t just walk away from that.”

“Apparently it wasn’t that hard for Madeline to walk away from.”

“You don’t know that,” Scott insisted. “Just call her.”

“No, she should call me if she has something she wants to say.”

“You just said she tried to!” The exasperation was clear in Scott’s voice and he continued before Chris could argue. “You know what? I’ll call her. Give me a second and I’ll call you back.”

He hung up without waiting for Chris to agree, leaving him alone with his thoughts. A place that, if he was being honest, he didn’t really want to be. He was angry - that was obvious and inescapable - but in his heart he knew that what he was really feeling was pain. It didn’t feel real - it seemed unbelievable that she would just be gone - but there was a knot tugging in his stomach that told him it was true, that he’d missed some big signs of upset and ruined his chances with the love of his life. Just the thought had tears pricking at his eyes and he was relieved when Scott’s name quickly popped back up on his phone.

“That was fast,” he answered the call. “What did she say?”

“She didn’t answer…”

It was clear in Scott’s tone that he was reluctant to admit that he’d been unsuccessful, but the information had Chris’ bubbling emotions quickly shifting back to anger.

“See? If she won’t even talk to you then she definitely won’t want to talk to me,” Chris pointed out. “She’s done, Scott, and all she thinks she owes me is a scribbled note with a shitty, half-assed explanation.”

“You don’t know that for sure yet,” Scott argued, even though it was clear in his tone that he had less conviction in that statement than he had before. “She could be dancing.”

“It’s nine o’clock at night, rehearsals never run this late.”

“That’s true, but we all know that she dances more when she’s stressed.” Scott’s words were true and did provide Chris with a brief flicker of hope, but it was dashed almost as quickly as it appeared when Scott spoke again. “Oh! She just sent me a text, give me a second.”

Chris waited with bated breath as Scott checked the message, but when the silence dragged on he quickly grew impatient.

“What did she say?”

“Nothing.”

Scott’s voice was quiet, almost sounding defeated and the knot in Chris’ stomach tightened again.

“What do you mean it says nothing? You’re trying to tell me she sent you a blank text? C’mon, Scott, what did she say?”

There was another moment of silence that had Chris bracing for bad news.

“She just said ‘I’m sorry’, that’s it.”

“Do you believe me now?” Chris croaked out, the realization of how bleak his situation was hitting him full force. “She’s gone, Scott.”

The emotion in his voice echoed through the phone as it felt like his heart had literally shattered in his chest and while Scott grappled with his own confusion about the situation, he leapt into action to support his big brother.

“I’m on my way,” he informed him. “I’ll get the next flight out and be there tonight. We’ll figure this out, Chris. We’ll get through it.”

The pain he was feeling at the tremendous and unexpected loss had him doubting that there was any way he could get through it, but he choked out some kind of response before Scott hung up the phone and he crumpled on his couch.

How could she just be gone?

He knew he should have made more time for her after their argument and that he should have let her say whatever she’d clearly been wanting to say, but he hadn’t thought that their little fight was serious enough for her to leave him and ruin everything they’d built together. He really did think that she wanted to marry him - there wouldn’t be a ring bouncing around in his bag if he had any doubts about that - and he thought they’d just talk out all the confusion when he got home.

But he’d obviously misread the situation.

His assumption that there was more to her defensiveness at the mention of marriage had been correct - she obviously didn’t want to marry him or even be with him at all - but how could he have been so off base about where they were in their relationship? What had happened to change her mind so suddenly and so drastically?

His curiosity almost had him tempted to call her and get the answers to his questions, but as soon as he looked at her name on his screen, the anger came flooding back before he could even hit ‘call’. The words she’d written in her note seemed very final. As he looked around the room, he could see that she’d taken everything that belonged to her. What else was there to say? She didn’t seem to think she owed him a conversation so why should he give her the satisfaction of knowing just how devastated he was by calling her even when he knew she wouldn’t answer? He had too much pride for that. If she wanted a clean break without so much as a goodbye then he would accept that no matter how much it pained him to.

It was done.

She’d made her choice.

He wasn’t going to beg her to change her mind even if the thought of never seeing her again had him punching the cushions of his couch - that she’d picked out - so hard they almost burst at the seams as tears welled up in his eyes.

Three Days Later

Chris’ first instinct when he heard the banging on his front door was to ignore it.

His head was pounding from the many beers he’d had the night before and the last thing he wanted to do was deal with any unexpected guests. However, it quickly became apparent that the person on his doorstep was persistent and wouldn’t be going away anytime soon so eventually he dragged himself off the couch to see who was bothering him.

His surprise when he opened the door to see Madeline’s dad, Greg, standing on his porch almost knocked the hangover right out of him.

“What are you doing here?”

His blurted out, blunt greeting had a weak smile sliding onto the older man’s face as Chris shielded his sensitive eyes from the sun.

“I just wanted to see how you’re holding up. Can I come in?”

Chris nodded and stepped aside, letting Greg walk by him before following him towards the kitchen as he suddenly regretted his current foggy state, wishing he had his wits more about him for whatever conversation was about to happen. He watched in a daze as Madeline’s dad puttered around the kitchen and put on a pot of coffee before moving some dirty dishes into the sink with a sigh.

“You should clean up in here.”

“I think Scott said he’s gonna do it later,” Chris shrugged. “He took Carly’s kids out for breakfast this morning and didn’t have time to do it before he left.”

“Is it all Scott’s mess?” Greg asked him with a skeptical eyebrow raised, waiting for Chris to shrug again before he continued. “Then maybe you should clean it up yourself.”

There was a familiarity that Chris had with Greg from the closeness of their families when he was growing up that normally would have made his parental style lectures not unwelcome, but considering the fact that his daughter was the one to blame for how Chris was currently feeling, it felt like the criticism was rather unwarranted.

“Oh, I’m sorry,” Chris rolled his eyes. “But I’ve been a little distracted the last few days and cleaning isn’t really my biggest concern.”

Greg cringed at that confession as he leaned against the counter and crossed his arms.

“I know, but you have to keep your head up.”

“Keep my head up?” Chris scoffed, his fragile state making his emotions quickly rise to the surface. “She broke my fuckin’ heart!”

“I know that and I know this isn’t going to be easy for either of you, but letting yourself fall apart isn’t going to help anyone.”

Chris shook his head in disbelief and did his best to remind himself not to take his frustrations out on people who were just trying to help him. He took a moment to collect his thoughts before asking a question that had been burning in his mind.

“Did you know?” He asked. “Did you know she was planning to leave me?”

“Not until last week when she asked me to help her move her things.”

Chris wasn’t sure whether that made him feel better or worse. Madeline was as close with her parents as he was with his, if she was unhappy then she wouldn’t have kept it from them for long. That meant that she hadn’t been lying or putting up a façade on the weekend he was home for Anna’s wedding, but it still left him baffled as to why that last conversation had pushed her to make such a drastic choice. He could feel Greg watching him as he mulled over the information until another question fell from his lips.

“Do you know why?”

He could hear the pleading desperation in his own voice, but the ache in his chest was too overwhelming for him to care and that ache only grew as his once future father-in-law shook his head.

“No, not really. She didn’t want to talk about it,” he admitted as Chris noticed for the first time just how worried he seemed to be. “But, Chris, she might just need time. Just be patient with her.”

Once again, Chris felt his emotions shift back to anger as he let out a snort of laughter at that preposterous suggestion.

“Be patient? Be patient for what? I don’t even know why she left me! I wouldn’t even know what I’m waiting patiently for!” He pointed out. “All she left me was a stupid note, Greg, a note that said she couldn’t do ‘this’ anymore and that she was sorry. After five years, that’s all I got. It’s a fuckin’ joke and she has a serious attitude problem if she thinks she can pull a stunt like that and expect me to just wait patiently for her to come crawling back to me.”

The pain shined through Chris’ words and he appreciated the fact that Madeline’s dad at least had the decency to look a little sheepish after foolishly trying to defend his daughter.

“I know, you didn’t deserve this and I’m sorry it happened,” he sighed. “I’m sorry for both of you.”

“Well, at least one of us had some say in the situation.”

“You’re right,” Greg agreed, moving across the room to pat Chris’ shoulder as he made his way towards the door. “I won’t push it any further, but I hope you know that whatever happens, we’ll always be here for you. Nothing that happens between you and Madeline will change that.”

Chris nodded his head and felt a lump form in his throat as he watched the man who was like a second father to him show himself out.

Because it was a nice thought, but it would change their relationship, it would change everything. There would be no more big Daniels-Evans parties, no more Thanksgivings or Christmases with both families together at his Ma’s house, not unless either he or Madeline chose not to attend.

The entire dynamic of their intertwined families would shift and that realization had a fresh knot of anger tightening in Chris’ stomach as he cursed Madeline for being so quick to throw away everything they had and he wondered where the ripples of the fallout would end.

Tags: @maggotzombie @moonlacebeam @mizzzpink @flowery-mess @flowerjewels @njrronaldo7 @hockeychick10 @partypoison00 @theladybiers @sidepieces @patzammit @sparkledfirecracker @mytbel0st @mjey12 @denisemarieangelina @elrw24 @findthebeautyinbreakdowns @trottae17 @annvail @rach2602 @sarahdonald87 @firephotogrl74 @ourfinest-hour @k-evans-writes

#chris evans #chris evans fanfiction #chris evans fanfic #chris evans fan fiction #chris evans fan fic #back to you

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despairing-disaster · 1 year

Text

Initial thoughts on ch 2 ep 1 (ik it’s early but I wanna lay out some stuff rn)

Listen, ppl all had their own opinions about the protag swap theory. Some thought it would happen, some thought it was stupid, I thought it was gonna be a temporary POV change in the first episode before Teruko got back to her regular girlbossing and whaddaya know, I was right!

On the topic of me being right though, I swear the only times I am right about things are when I can’t exactly explain why I think something, therefore I don’t ever say it because “that’s stupid,” but I feel like the motive as well as the delivery, both in the timing and the fallout, was something I could’ve seen coming. I dismissed the idea as too dramatic at some point, apparently forgetting that DRDT is the reality TV of fangans (but probably less scripted somehow).

I’m honestly pretty hyped about the motive though. I always thought that the canon equivalent in the first game was lacking in some ways, so seeing a fresh twist on a classic is always fun.

It also makes me wonder about the hidden quotes. Ik I talk abt these more than I reasonably probably should given they’re, uh, hidden, but in addition to what probably counts as more context for J’s quote, I’m also currently looking at Arei’s and Levi’s.

Levi talked a bit about his family and being disowned as well as how he feels he has to put effort into being nice, so a part of me wonders if there’s something he feels particularly guilty about in relation to his quote. His listed dislike is also unpredictable people and I figure that may be related as well.

But Arei’s seems more pertinent to me. She’s been nothing but an emotionally manipulative ass this whole time and now she has someone else’s dirty laundry and the full ability to air it if she so pleases, but idk what she’s gonna do with it. If her quote is relevant to something in this chapter in particular, she may decide on keeping it to herself. She obviously has a limited idea of how friendships really work, but maybe she has some decency when it comes to a situation like this.

Teruko’s commentary and leaning on the 4th wall as well as MonoTV’s incredibly (in)convenient incompetence is really only doing more to reinforce the idea in my mind that she knows way more than she’s letting on as well as a the fact that a lot of information about her is being withheld from the audience and we probably don’t have a complete look into her mind. Also, the phone. We have seen that phone before, just not in the killing game.

I feel like Arturo’s reaction to finding out J was related to a famous actress was... kind of what I expected it to be, but for all his preaching about physical beauty, he sure didn’t fuckin notice anything special about her until that exact moment, huh. Almost like he’s full of shit and just obsessed with fame and glamour as concepts.

It’s also really sweet to see Charles actually probably have more faith and hope coming out of the trial than going into it. And despite the tensions and him being turned down, him asking Teruko if she wants to explore with him is probably the most civil conversation they’ve had so far throughout the entire game. I think even if neither of them have a lot of faith in everyone else, they at least seem like they have less hard feelings towards each other. Like two siblings who grew up in a shitty household and always fought but start actually tolerating each other the moment they accept they were both victims even if they don’t really talk about it.

I’m fuckin scared to see my boy get woobified even more tho.

Oh! And a bit more on J’s quote actually. I wonder if her animosity towards her mom (and actors as a whole) was just wrought from the secondhand fame she never wanted or if her mother tried to force her into acting herself. Her dialogue in the FTEs that dropped last year at the very least indicate she had femininity forced upon her, but pushing a child into acting for more fame and fortune is a very special kind of fucking your kid up for the rest of their life and the horrible shit child actors and actresses are put through is becoming more and more discussed in an ever increasingly digital world.

But yeah. Mega hyped for this chapter, especially with the motive as I am, unfortunately, a sucker for hot, juicy goss

#danganronpa despair time

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panlight · 2 years

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lets say that you have to keep Twilight and BD exactly as they are. However, you can make as many books in between with whatever you want. How would you lead the story so that Twilight leads into BD better? How would you get Jacob to madly in love with Bella but then imprints on Nessie without it being so jarring? Would you include any of the newborn stuff, even though a lot of it (like Bree) didn't actually matter? How would you introduce the corrupt Volturi that we see in BD without having to include the more morally neutral Volturi of NM and Eclipse?

I think we need more time between Twilight and New Moon to convince me that Bella cares about (and knows!!) the other Cullens and that they care about and know her. Skipping from Prom at the end of Twilight to the birthday party at the beginning of New Moon and then them all leaving for the whole book just doesn’t give me the sense they were actually close at all. When I see these headcanons about the Cullens mourning leaving their “daughter” or “sister” behind I’m like, did we read different books? I just personally didn’t get the sense they were close yet. All the “tell” about ‘being part of the family’ or whatever just didn’t carry any weight for me without the “show,” and the “show” we got at the birthday party was, to me, a family that liked her (other than Rose) and was trying almost TOO hard to seem accepting, not like the easy comfort of a close-knit group. I mean when the James stuff happened they LITERALLY. JUST. MET. HER. Then prom. Then the birthday. We as readers saw zero development of any relationship(s) between Bella and the Cullens in canon.

And with Eclipse, we either need to throw out the whole newborn battle plot OR sit with it longer and have some fallout. Bella wasn’t there, she didn’t fight in it, she had no emotional attachment to Bree, so all of that literally didn’t matter very much to her. But you’re telling me the whole thing didn’t bring back some dark memories for Jasper? That Esme and Carlisle weren’t upset that they had to kill fellow vampires, that they were prepared to welcome Bree into their family and then saw her murdered instead? That Rosalie isn’t horrified at the continued danger her family is in because of Edward and Bella? And all the wolves are just like, “whee that was fun?” I know SM and the characters tried to downplay it once they wolves were involved like, “oh it will be easy” but it was a still a life or death fight! This isn’t some playground rumble, it was kill or be killed and that SHOULD affect your characters somehow and we just get absolutely nothing. It’s like it might as well have not happened at all. I think the only reference to it in Breaking Dawn is from Jacob’s point of view and it’s just in a “we know how the Cullens fight now so if we have to fight them, these will be the hardest to beat” way. it didn’t lead to any character growth at all. It’s just right into wedding planning.

So I guess we’d do something with that summer between Twilight and New Moon to establish some kind of friendly relations between Bella and the other Cullens (aside from Edward and Alice I guess). Although canonically Emmett and Rosalie are gone most of that summer. So then when they all leave in New Moon I might actually buy Bella being sad about the whole family leaving and not feel like she was only sad about Edward and maybe Alice.

I guess their meeting with the Volturi might be a bit more menacing? Aro comes off as this like flighty, eccentric old relative rather than a real threat as written, but then is supposed to be this horrifically corrupt Big Bad in Breaking Dawn, so maybe their interaction was somehow more fraught, maybe they almost didn’t get to leave. Maybe originally Aro was going to make Alice and Edward stay in exchange for Bella’s freedom but then he saw how that would play out in Alice’s vision and didn’t like what he saw and that’s why he let them go. Or something. It’s just weird that he wants Alice so badly he’s willing to let a newborn army rage out of control in the off chance most of her family will be killed so she’ll be easier to recruit (or whatever his motivation is supposed to be in Eclipse), but he LITERALLY HAD HER IN HIS HOME and just cheerfully let them go.

Then Eclipse basically happens as is but Bella gives more weight to the “you won’t be able to have kids” argument and is genuinely a little sad about it, so then her instant motherly bliss in Breaking Dawn feels a little more natural. Throw the Jacob kisses in the garbage and keep his affection for Bella very real but less romantically focused. If the idea is that Bella is destined to be the mother of his soulmate, maybe he mistakes his panic about her becoming a vampire as a romantic thing when really it’s a mostly about keeping her human (long enough for Renesmee to be born. LOOK I KNOW this still sucks, but if I have to keep Breaking Dawn as is, it might be the best I can do).

And then there’s just some fallout with the fight. Bella can comment on how weird the vibe at the Cullen house is, how sad Esme and Carlisle seem, how jittery Jasper is now that his old habits and instincts have been awakened, literally anything I beg of you. Maybe one or more the wolves are shaken by the whole thing, too, and are talking about trying to figure out how to stop phasing because they don’t want to do this anymore. Someone being weirded out that one of the newborns they killed was wearing the same band or movie T-shirt they have. Otherwise what was the point of putting all those characters through that? Just an excuse to have Bella up on a mountain in a tent with Jacob and Edward?

#asks

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writesailingdreams · 1 year

Text

True Colors

Ah, here we go.

It was pointed out to me, after this viewing, that, even if you removed Andrias' using Marcy and wanting to use the music box for invasion, Marcy would still have to deal with Anne and Sasha's reaction to, uh, the plan Marcy thought she and Andrias were actually going with -- that is, the plan that the girls would all keep having adventures together.

That is, if Andrias said "okay girls, time to go on world-traveling adventures" wouldn't Anne and Sasha want to know why they aren't just going home? Wouldn't Marcy have to at some point suggest they don't go home (not right away)? And wouldn't it eventually come out that she set the stage for getting the girls to Amphibia because she was afraid of moving and losing her friends?

But if Andrias hadn't made his suggestion and Marcy hadn't shared her feelings with him while playing flipwart, then I'm really curious what Marcy would have done when presented with the option to go home. Would she have tried to get the girls to stay longer? Would she have finally admitted her fears?

I seriously doubt she'd do the latter, at this point. Marcy's whole operating principle is to avoid being alone and that means not being open about unpleasant emotions. Expressing enthusiasm and gushing about what she likes, that's fine. That's a positive emotion; that has positive benefits (even if some of it actually annoys or frustrates due to lack of awareness, look how smart she is, let's not talk about that bad stuff, right?).

On one hand, I don't think I'd have the capacity, at any age, not to express my unhappy feelings. On the other, I did have a phase where I tried to be positive and agreeable, but that was as a young adult not a 13 yr old. So, there's a bit of limited relatablity, but for the most part, I'm too (pedantic? honest? stubborn?) to not, usually, share what I feel, even if it isn't always nice. (This is more of an in-person thing than an online thing, I think.)

But since her goal was to not be alone and her solution (thanks to Andrias) was to continue having adventures, that's why it was so important that the girls continued to all be friends and get along; if the girls didn't, then it would make all of Marcy's motivation to this point (getting the music box, agreeing to Andrias' (fake) plan) moot. Because then the friendship would be over, the thing she was trying to avoid.

It's also interesting how important it is for Marcy to take credit for the "adventures" and "growth." This needs to have been a good experience; it needs to have been positive; it needs to have been something good that she contributed to. Because then it's just her getting scared and making a mistake.

And see, there's nothing wrong with Marcy's impulsive mistake or even her fear. If anything, the whole resolution with Hop Pop and Anne over the music box (in the first temple!) shows off why this is: everyone at all ages can make impulsive bad choices. It will get messy and be worse the longer it festers. But bad choices and good experiences don't have to cancel each other. Life is complicated and complex.

I'm not sure Marcy has quite grasped that (but she's 13, c'mon).

But it is telling that Marcy does quickly recognize Andrias' plan is bad and that someone should save Sprig. She has enough emotionally intelligence at this point to recognize that.

The thing she doesn't get to deal with is the fallout with Sasha and Anne. She never gets any closure, at this point, with what this means for the three in the future. Will the two still be her friends? She doesn't get an answer to that, probably the most important factor to her. Which, you know, while not relatable, is very heart-touching to me.

#marcy wu chronicles #marcy wu #true colors #amphibia #amphibia meta #king andrias #wsd rewatches amphibia #wsd watches amphibia #wsd opinion piece #while marcy might never be my fav character from the show nor the source of biggest emotional feelings in regards to story #I feel i'm getting a better grasp of her as a character

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farewell-persephone · 9 months

Note

2, 21, 37, 48 😎

2. One of the most meaningful things someone has said to you?

tried to think of something more specific but just keep coming back to the fact that every time I see my friend Zach he tells me he loves me before we part ways. helps with the feeling that I'm a burden or an embarrassment that I always experience when I'm around anyone, especially this last time given everything that happened.

21. Share a song or two that you find calming?

this is harder than I thought it would be because "calming" kind of implies "neutral" to me and I just don't listen to music that makes me feel neutral. this is probably the closest I can think of. Japanese train nu-jazz

37. A show/game/book someone could consume to know you better?

show: maybe Dark idk

game: Fallout New Vegas

book: Acceptance by Jeff VanderMeer

48. Ah, 48. This question is very important

Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart displayed scatological humour in his letters and multiple recreational compositions. This material has long been a puzzle for Mozart scholarship. Some scholars try to understand it in terms of its role in Mozart's family, his society and his times; others attempt to understand it as a result of an "impressive list"[2] of psychiatric conditions from which Mozart is claimed to have suffered.

Examples[edit]

Self-portrait in pencil of Maria Anna Thekla Mozart, from 1777 or 1778

A letter dated 5 November 1777[3] to Mozart's cousin Maria Anna Thekla Mozart is an example of Mozart's use of scatology. The German original[4] is in rhymed verse.

Well, I wish you good night, but first, Shit in your bed and make it burst. Sleep soundly, my love Into your mouth your arse you'll shove.[5]

Mozart's canon "Leck mich im Arsch" K. 231 (K6 382c) includes the lyrics:

Leck mich im A[rsch] g'schwindi, g'schwindi!

This would be translated into English as "lick me in the arse, quickly, quickly!"

"Leck mich im Arsch" is a standard vulgarism in German, euphemistically called the Swabian salute (German: schwäbischer Gruß). Although contemporary German would rather say "Leck mich am Arsch."[6] The closest English counterpart is "Kiss my arse".

Context[edit]

Musicologist David Schroeder writes:

The passage of time has created an almost unbridgeable gulf between ourselves and Mozart's time, forcing us to misread his scatological letters even more drastically than his other letters. Very simply, these letters embarrass us, and we have tried to suppress them, trivialize them, or explain them out of the epistolary canon with pathological excuses.[7]

For example, when Margaret Thatcher was apprised of Mozart's scatology during a visit to the theatre to see Peter Shaffer's play Amadeus, director Peter Hall relates:

She was not pleased. In her best headmistress style, she gave me a severe wigging for putting on a play that depicted Mozart as a scatological imp with a love of four-letter words. It was inconceivable, she said, that a man who wrote such exquisite and elegant music could be so foul-mouthed. I said that Mozart's letters proved he was just that: he had an extraordinarily infantile sense of humour ... "I don't think you heard what I said", replied the Prime Minister. "He couldn't have been like that". I offered (and sent) a copy of Mozart's letters to Number Ten the next day; I was even thanked by the appropriate Private Secretary. But it was useless: the Prime Minister said I was wrong, so wrong I was.[8]

Letters[edit]

Benjamin Simkin, an endocrinologist,[9] estimates that 39 of Mozart's letters include scatological passages. Almost all of these are directed to Mozart's own family, specifically his father Leopold, his mother Anna Maria, his sister Nannerl, and his cousin Maria Anna Thekla Mozart. According to Simkin, Leopold, Anna Maria and Nannerl also included scatological humour in their own letters.[10] Thus, Anna Maria wrote to her husband (26 September 1777; original is in rhyme):

Addio, ben mio. Keep well, my love. Into your mouth your arse you'll shove. I wish you good night, my dear, But first, shit in your bed and make it burst.[11]

Even the relatively straitlaced Leopold used a scatological expression in one letter.[12]

Several of Mozart's scatological letters were written to Maria Anna Thekla Mozart, his cousin (and probable love interest, according to the musicologist Maynard Solomon).[13] These are often called the "Bäsle letters", after the German word Bäsle, a diminutive form meaning "little cousin". In these letters, written after Mozart had spent a pleasant two weeks with his cousin in her native Augsburg,[14] the scatology is combined with word play and sexual references. American academic Robert Spaethling's rendered translation of part of a letter Mozart sent from Mannheim 5 November 1777:

Dearest cozz buzz! I have received reprieved your highly esteemed writing biting, and I have noted doted thy my uncle garfuncle, my aunt slant, and you too, are all well mell. We, too thank god, are in good fettle kettle ... You write further, indeed you let it all out, you expose yourself, you let yourself be heard, you give me notice, you declare yourself, you indicate to me, you bring me the news, you announce unto me, you state in broad daylight, you demand, you desire, you wish, you want, you like, you command that I, too, should could send you my Portrait. Eh bien, I shall mail fail it for sure. Oui, by the love of my skin, I shit on your nose, so it runs down your chin...[15]

One of the letters Mozart wrote to his father while visiting Augsburg reports an encounter Mozart and his cousin had with a priest named Father Emilian:

[He was] an arrogant ass and a simple-minded little wit of his profession ... finally when he was a little drunk, which happened soon, he started on about music. He sang a canon, and said: I have never in my life heard anything more beautiful ... He started. I took the third voice, but I slipped in an entirely different text: 'P[ater] E: o du schwanz, leck mich im arsch' ["Father Emilian, oh you prick, lick me in the arse"]. Sotto voce, to my cousin. Then we laughed together for another half hour.[16]

Music[edit]

Mozart's scatological music was most likely recreational and shared among a closed group of inebriated friends. All of it takes the form of canons (rounds), in which each voice enters with the same words and music following a delay after the previous voice. Musicologist David J. Buch writes:

It may seem strange that Mozart made fair copies, entered these items into his personal works catalogue (in which he tended to omit ephemeral works) and allowed them to be copied. The reason he favored these small and crude pieces in ways similar to his more serious and important works remains a mystery.[17]

Reactions of family and friends[edit]

Historian Lucy Coatman argues that Maria Anna Thekla and Mozart likely had a shared sense of humour, something which she believes has been "discounted throughout much of the historiography on this set of correspondence".[18]: 3 While scholars are not aware of her replies to her cousin, it can be assumed from what is known of their relationship and his continued correspondence that she was likely not offended by Mozart's vulgar references.

In 1798, Constanze sent her late husband's Bäsle letters to the publishers Breitkopf & Härtel, who at the time were gathering material in hopes of preparing a Mozart biography.[19] In the accompanying letter she wrote "Although in dubious taste, the letters to his cousin are full of wit and deserve mentioning, although they cannot of course be published in their entirety."[20] K.A. Aterman suggests that this ambivalence is a result of the "change in the taste and the 'refinement' spreading to, and in, the rising middle class" in the early 19th century.[21]

In the 18th century[edit]

Gottfried Prehauser, an actor of 18th-century Vienna, playing Hanswurst

Schroeder (1999) suggests that in the 18th century scatological humour was far more public and "mainstream". The German-language popular theatre of Mozart's time was influenced by the Italian commedia dell'arte and emphasized the stock character of Hanswurst, a coarse and robust character who would entertain his audience by pretending to eat large and unlikely objects (for instance, a whole calf), then defecating them.[22]

Schroeder suggests a political underlay to the scatology in popular theatre: its viewers lived under a system of hereditary aristocracy that excluded them from political participation. The vulgarity of scatological popular theatre was a counterpoint to the refined culture imposed from above.[23] One of Mozart's own letters describes aristocrats in scatological terms; he identified the aristocrats present at a concert in Augsburg (1777) as "the Duchess Smackarse, the Countess Pleasurepisser, the Princess Stinkmess, and the two Princes Potbelly von Pigdick".[24]

In German culture[edit]

The folklorist and cultural anthropologist Alan Dundes suggested that interest in or tolerance for scatological matters is a specific trait of German national culture, one which is retained to this day:[25]

In German folklore, one finds an inordinate number of texts concerned with anality. Scheiße (shit), Dreck (dirt), Mist (manure), Arsch (ass), and other locutions are commonplace. Folksongs, folktales, proverbs, folk speech—all attest to the Germans' longstanding special interest in this area of human activity. I am not claiming that other peoples of the world do not express a healthy concern for this area, but rather that the Germans appear to be preoccupied with such themes. It is thus not so much a matter of difference as it is of degree.[26]

Dundes (1984) provides ample coverage of scatological humor in Mozart, but also cites scatological texts from Martin Luther, Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, Heinrich Heine, and others who helped shaped German culture. Karhausen (1993) asserts that "scatology was common in Mitteleuropa [central Europe]", noting for instance that Mozart's Salzburg colleague Michael Haydn also wrote a scatological canon.[27]

Some of the phrases used by Mozart in his scatological material were not original with him but were part of the folklore and culture of his day: professor of German Mieder (2003) describes the Bäsle letters as involving "Mozart's intentional play with what is for the most part preformulated folk speech".[28] An example given by Robert Spaethling is the folkloric origin of a phrase seen above, "Gute Nacht, scheiß ins Bett dass' Kracht", claimed by Spaethling to be a "children's rhyme that is still current in south German language areas today".[29] Likewise, when Mozart sang to Aloysia Weber the words "Leck mich das Mensch im Arsch, das mich nicht will" ("Whoever doesn't want me can lick my arse") on the occasion of being romantically rejected by her, he was evidently singing an existing folk tune, not a song of his own invention.[30]

Medical accounts[edit]

An early 20th-century observer who suspected that Mozart's scatological materials could be interpreted by psychological pathologies was the Austrian writer Stefan Zweig, who amassed a large collection of musical manuscripts. His collection included the Bäsle letters (at the time, unpublished) as well as the autographs of Mozart's scatological canons "Difficile lectu" and "O du eselhafter Peierl".[31] Zweig sent copies of the Bäsle letters to the psychiatrist Sigmund Freud with the following suggestion:

These nine letters ... throw a psychologically very remarkable light on his erotic nature, which, more so than any other important man, has elements of infantilism and coprophilia. It would actually be a very interesting study for one of your pupils.[32]

Freud apparently declined Zweig's suggestion. As Schroeder notes, later psychobiographers seized on the letters as evidence for psychopathological tendencies in Mozart.[33]

Some authors in the 1990s interpreted the material as evidence that Mozart had Tourette syndrome (TS).[34] Simkin catalogued the scatological letters and compared their frequencies with similar vulgarisms from other members of Mozart's family—they are far more frequent. The scatological materials were combined by Simkin with biographical accounts from Mozart's own time that suggested that Mozart suffered from the tics characteristic of Tourette syndrome.[35] His claim was picked up by newspapers worldwide, causing an international sensation, and internet websites have fueled the speculation.[36]

While often discussed, the Mozart/Tourette hypothesis has failed to sway mainstream opinion on this issue. Indeed, German psychiatrist Thomas Kammer (2007) states that the work proposing the hypothesis has been "promptly and harshly" criticized.[2] The critical commentary asserts both medical misdiagnosis and errors of Mozart scholarship.[37] Kammer concluded that "Tourette's syndrome is an inventive but implausible diagnosis in the medical history of Mozart". Evidence of motor tics was found lacking and the notion that involuntary vocal tics are transferred to the written form was labeled "problematic".[2] Neurologist and author Oliver Sacks published an editorial disputing Simkin's claim,[38] and the Tourette Syndrome Association pointed out the speculative nature of this information.[36] No Tourette's syndrome expert or organization has voiced concurrence that there is credible evidence to conclude that Mozart had Tourette's.[39] One TS specialist stated that "although some websites list Mozart as an individual who had Tourette's or OCD, it's not clear from the descriptions of his behavior that he actually had either".[40]

Coatman, who supports a social and philological explanation of Mozart's scatology, has suggested that such retrospective diagnoses reveal a problem with the perusal of letters as a genre. Following ethicist Osamu Muramoto,[41]. she states that "retrospecive diagnosis can be challenged not only on an epistemic level but also on the ontological and ethical ones".[18]: 5 She notes that by projecting modern sensibilities back onto the letters, scholars from a range of fields have "failed to understand the historical context, language usage of eighteenth-century Salzburg, and indeed, the personality of Mozart".[18]: 2

Scatological materials[edit]

In letters[edit]

Benjamin Simkin's compilation lists scatological letters by Mozart to the following individuals:[35]

his father, Leopold Mozart: twenty letters

his wife, Constanze Mozart: six letters

his cousin Maria Anna Thekla Mozart: six letters

his sister Maria Anna Mozart (Nannerl): four letters

his mother Anna Maria Mozart: one letter

his mother and sister jointly: one letter

his Salzburg friend Abbé Joseph Bullinger: one letter

his friend, the choirmaster Anton Stoll, for whom he wrote Ave verum corpus: one letter

In music[edit]

The canons were first published after Mozart's death with bowdlerized lyrics;[citation needed] for instance, "Leck mir den Arsch fein rein" ("Lick me in the arse nice and clean") became "Nichts labt mich mehr als Wein" ("Nothing refreshes me more than wine"). In some cases, only the first line of the original scatological lyrics is preserved. The following list is ordered by Köchel catalog number. Voices and conjectured dates are from Zaslaw & Cowdery (1990:101–105); and links marked "score" lead to the online edition of the Neue Mozart-Ausgabe.

"Leck mich im Arsch" ("Lick me in the arse"), K. 231 (K6 382c), for six voices. (Score). Composed some time in the 1780s. First published as "Lass froh uns sein" ("Let us be joyful").

"Leck mir den Arsch fein recht schön sauber" ("Lick my arse right well and clean"), K. 233 (K6 382d). (Score). First published as "Nichts labt mich mehr als Wein" ("Nothing pleases me more than wine"). The music of this canon was once thought to be by Mozart but was shown in 1988 by Wolfgang Plath to be by Wenzel Trnka, originally to the Italian words "Tu sei gelosa, è vero".[42] As the editors of the Neue Mozart-Ausgabe note, the work almost certainly should be considered a work of Mozart's, but as the author of the lyrics rather than as the composer.[43]

"Bei der Hitz im Sommer eß ich" ("In the heat of summer I eat"), K. 234 (K6 382e). (Score). As with K. 233, the music is not by Mozart; originally it was the canon "So che vanti un cor ingrato" by Wenzel Trnka.[citation needed]

"Gehn wir im Prater, gehn wir in d' Hetz", K. 558, for four voices. (Score). 1788 or earlier.

Difficile lectu mihi Mars, K. 559, for three voices. (Score). C. 1786–1787.

O du eselhafter Peierl, ("Oh, you asinine Peierl") for four voices, K. 560a. (Score). C. 1786–1787. A slightly revised version, "O du eselhafter Martin", is catalogued as K. 560b.

"Bona nox" ("Good night") K. 561, for four voices. (Score). 1788 or earlier.

#ask #kvtie-pie #lmao thanks Anna <3

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sizhui · 1 year

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hi angie!! ur bit about bl generally being less interested in explictly talking abt gayness is very true! in fact yea i dont think its limited to bl as shows or novels or manga and extends to general media containing or focusing on explictly gay characters in asia. rather than homophobia itself i find media tends to focus more on the fallout / general form of it such as isolation and marginalisation. i find people on the fringes of society serve as good vehicles to explore a feeling of deep isolation and desire that is taboo to express but incredibly common in increasingly modernised societies and many directors / writers see that too. ofc this is a very general observation. to be more accurate being on fringes also allows these characters to simultaneously exist in society and exiled from it which opens them to certain experiences and emotions we typically keep repressed. when they are a part of society they may be battling constant dissonance but when they are exiled they may face loneliness everywhere. ig the weirdness n ability to enter the unreal allows for emotions in these stories to be amplified beyond what is normally possible or even socially acceptable to express. you're alr past 1 boundary whats 1 more u know? IDK THIS IS JUST A HYPOTHESIS

idk i think while in some part culture informs the decision to stray away from focusing stories on homophobia (because homophobia also doesnt take the same form in these countries & ultimately stems from different historical events) because explicitly expressing one's homosexuality is like Very different from merely partaking in said activity and results in arguably a very different story too. i also think it has to do with different artistic interests. its not even really exclusive to asia because i find plenty of lgbt artists tend to also branch out into more related or adjacent themes grounded in their lgbt experience rather than on being lgbt alone ig???

i got off track again but imo i think good lgbt art is also just good art n can explore other themes and basically tries to say more abt people than just this or that

i find maybe more western media wants to focus on these characters as being forced to exist in society as outsiders but not like in other settings idk im not articulate

this isnt my full response btww keke just thoughts :3

DEAR LAB!!!! thank you so much for this, it was really insightful and valuable to me!!!!!!! Sorry for being unable to write a longer response at the moment , but I would love to continue this conversation whenever you feel like it, so feel free to dm me or send more asks anytime ^_^ thank you again, so glad to be talking about it with u!

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fuzzyizmit · 2 years

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Creative Stuff List

I thought that it might be a good idea to put all my creative endeavors into one place to make it easy to find/share when needed. I'll include little descriptions of each piece and some examples (in the case of visual art). This will include my fan fiction (including my OC website), visual art and fiber art patterns. I stream a lot of the creative process, as well as stream games on Twitch. I'll also include, at the very end, some places you can support my art if you feel so inclined. Check the tags before you dive into them!

FAN FICTION

I tend to write about Fallout (particularly FO4 and Goodneighbor) but I have a few other fandoms in there too

Out of The Desert and Into The Fire (series) aka Antique Champagne - (Fallout) This is how I began my fan fiction journey. This story follows Payne, a very unique ghoul from New Vegas, as she tries to make a new home in Goodneighbor and reconnect with her humanity. This is a long fic and has some very mature themes. There is more planned for this series.

Beastly Kingdom Sage (series) - (Fallout) Liz became the Overboss of Nukaworld though relentless planning, manipulation and force of her will. Her power is absolute and her vision final. The Minutemen general shows up and offers her the chance to an even grander vision. You can read about her rise and fall, both before and after the Great War. I also commissioned a wonderful artist to render part of the first chapter into comic book form, so that is up there too! This series is finished.

Absolute Zero - (Fallout) Finding herself between a rock and the business end of a gun, Angela is forced to use her skills as a chemist in Goodneighbor to pay off an insurmountable debt. Things go from bad to worse. Can she keep going? (on going)

Silver Linings - (Fallout) Growing up as a raider is tough, but Dust is finding life as a plain ol' resident of Goodneighbor just as daunting. (on going)

One More - (Fallout) A day in the life of Oswald the Outrageous. Written for the From Necropolis with Love fan zine.

Mixed Media - (Fallout/Dragon Age/Elder Scrolls) Rita, an avid gamer, wife and mother, find herself trapped in a strange jumble of her favorite game worlds. Can she figure out how to get home before everything collapses into madness?

Explicit One Offs - (Fallout, Star Wars) If you want mature fare, you'll just have to look through my profile. I hope you can find something you will enjoy.

VISUAL WORKS

Again, most of these are Fallout related, but not everything!

Deviant Art - I share both digital art and crafting projects here. Lately, it has been more digital art, including American Traditional tattoo designs, OC portraits, and emotes.

Examples:

The Strange are Quilting - I share free (both fandom and non-fandom based) quilting and cross stitch patterns here. I've even had people share some of the things they've made with them!

Examples:

SUPPORT

I'm just dropping these here if you feel moved to support me. Please, don't ever feel obligated to do so.

Twitch - Maybe some day I'll make affiliate! It's only been... 5 years...

Ko-Fi - Buy me a coffee (not that I actually drink the stuff)

Throne Gifts - If you really want to treat me, take a gander at my wish list! Oh, I have referals if you need one!

Red Bubble - Put some of my designs and artwork on stuff... then buy it (if you want, of course)!

#about me #master list

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trulyinspiringmovies · 1 year

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Regular Show: The Movie

“Regular Show: The Movie” just feels like a longer episode of the show and misses a great opportunity to make something truly meaningful.

Mordecai and Rigby are late to work again, but this time they’re really about to be fired. Luckily, Rigby manages to calm Benson down enough to let them keep their job. While working, a spaceship crash lands in the park. The park crew goes to check it out and finds a future version of Rigby badly injured. He explains that the timeline is being threatened and the only way to save it is if Rigby is honest about something he’s been hiding from Mordecai for the past six years.

“Regular Show” was a show that I grew out of fairly quickly. I was more interested in the other big Cartoon Network shows like “The Amazing World Of Gumball” and especially “Adventure Time”. “The Amazing World Of Gumball” had extremely clever writing and “Adventure Time” had amazing, likable characters. “Regular Show” had neither. Even as a child I didn’t really like Mordecai and Rigby. I thought they were jerks. Their stories were monotonous at a young age as well. I also had a problem with them overhyping anything mundane. I see now that they’re supposed to be depicted as losers, but it didn’t really change how I felt about them. It’s supremely surprising to me that out of the three big Cartoon Network shows at the time, this show was the only one to get a movie. I started binge-watching this show to catch up with what I missed. At first, the experience was okay. I was nostalgic about most of the episodes and I thought some of the humor was funny, especially the jokes that flew over my head as a kid. Then the show started hitting a wall. Mordecai and Rigby were becoming straight-up detestable people. Then the grand supernatural/sci-fi plots were replaced with more mundane plots. I was losing interest in the show quickly, but then something interesting happened. Rigby started becoming more mature. I would’ve never thought that I would actually start liking him, but he’s shown some serious growth in the last few seasons. I was genuinely becoming proud of him. Mordecai started falling from grace too. There’s this paranoia that starts setting in on him that he’s stuck with his life and he became more relatable. He makes a lot of missteps in his romantic life, which got a bit tedious, but ended up making me feel bad for the guy when he ultimately gives up on it. I think the most interesting part is how the roles slowly start to reverse. Rigby is becoming the achiever in the group and Mordecai has to deal with the fallout of that. This movie would’ve been the perfect way to really explore this new dynamic and shape how the two would go into their final season. Instead, this movie has Rigby regress for the sake of the plot. A really messed up decision from his past has come back to haunt him. The new Rigby would’ve owned up to the mistake and reflected on how far he’s come, but we get the old Rigby in this movie. The old Rigby tries to shift blame and cover up as much as possible. The twist in this movie is obvious because it’s built on something that’s completely out of character for Mordecai and Rigby’s dynamic. The villain’s motivations for the show have been dumb for comedy, but I feel like it shouldn’t have been the case for the movie. Injecting real drama, real goals, real aspirations, and real feelings of resentment could’ve elevated the movie and have it stand out from the show. It could’ve justified the medium and actually showed me that this show is more than the formulas and tropes it sticks to. Instead, it doubled down and proved to me that it isn’t more than that.

★★★

Watched on November 2nd, 2022

#Regular Show: The Movie #November #2015 #Action #Comedy #Science Fiction #Adventure #Buddy #Animation #NR #J. G. Quintel #November 2022 #3 stars

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caitlinshandell · 9 days

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Sigh

I learned new things with my Facebook getting hacked. Don't try to find eye candy for your divorcing niece. You may end up clicking on a scam link. The people who got weird messages or notifications from be were kind enough to say something quick so I may have stopped actually awkward damage from happening and they managed to delete my original Tumblr.

Which is annoying as while I own everything I post. There are things I can't share with some of the people that I am closest too since they are also coworkers or ex-coworkers.

I enjoy my time at work, but at the same time it sucks. I know it is because I expect too much. I expect some form of an I was wrong for how I spoke. Not even a I'm sorry just I was an ass. I need to lower my expectations.

It is never going to happen. I have known this person long enough to know I have never heard the words I was wrong from them. It is obvious I valued the friendship more than them. Oh wait I guess it wasn't us as friends.

I can't banter with someone when I now think it wasn't harmless teasing. It probably was how they really perceived me. So why have I always tried to protect them? I am the one who got called into the office years ago for inappropriate behavior. I'm the one who have had to deal with the endless rumors. I was told to stop. Stop caring. Stop protecting. I can't help it. I can talk my way out of almost anything which is why I have always allowed others to think everything is my fault. Even when I was younger. I have an insatiable need to protect people from their own mistake fallouts.

The person who advised me to stop caring, stop protecting had great questions. How did I not realize? Naive. How did I not see it coming? It was probably just spur of the moment having a bad day. What was my opinion on it? Pretty sure I just resemble a comfort level so they wrongly went about something that doesn't matter. At least to this adult it doesn't matter. That I am pretty sure I never meant anything other than a coworker who gave them her time. Did I ever think about doing the same? Sure off and on over the years but we aren't compatible and I play everything out in my head. Besides I keep myself occupied enough to not act on impulse that I never thought would be reciprocated. Is my Facebook related the situation that happened? Gosh no. Well one drunken post. But I'm pretty sure that has been deleted. Otherwise it's either something for my niece or I just enjoy posting stupid things that make people go what the....

What's the real problem? The fricken words that were spoken to me. The rough diss when I wasn't trying to give advice about me giving advice. I was just asking a question. I like to know the reasons people do things. Also the fact that it became apparent that they thought I didn't think much of myself that I would be willing to do anything even as simple as a kiss which in most relationships is frowned by the spouse. I do not play a part in ruining someone's elses comfort in their love.

What am I going to do? Nothing. I am going to continue doing as I do. There's nothing for me to do. I'm going to keep going about work as I have. The only difference is when they ask about them all I say now is I don't know ask them. Will I still ask them a question if needed? Sure if it is work related. Believe it or not I have always trusted their judgement over others.

It is what it is. You are damned if you do and damned if you don't. If they wanted to have me believe otherwise they know enough about me to make that happen

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yuniper · 9 months

Note

Found your tumblr through that Arcade fic. Holy cow, your writing is amazing!!! I’ve gotta study how so many of you fallout fic writers write because I’ve noticed a distinct theme/style emerge from my favorites (of which yours is among them) that has forced the cogs in my head to start turning again as I write for myself.

If you don’t mind me asking, do you have any suggestions/tips when it comes to writing, especially for fallout and getting into/describing the world and characters within it?

thank you so much, oh my god! you have no idea what a serotonin boost your ask just gave me, haha!

the fallout community has some absolutely incredible writers and that you like my fic as much really means a lot to me!

so keep in mind that i'm by no means an expert, i was writing some very awkward fics circa 2011 and only just recently started to get back into writing again, but something i really wanted to accomplish with that story was to transport you into the world — i just love the setting of new vegas so much. so a lot of that just came from how i was imagining the sights, sounds, feelings etc. as i was playing the game.

the thing is though, and i'm sure you've probably also experienced this sometimes when you were reading, nothing pulls you out of a story like paragraphs upon paragraphs of scenery description. so i really tried to have all of these descriptions be sensory and have them directly relate to the characters in some way. this writing advice from fight club author chuck palahniuk was something that really helped me with that.

the dialogue was something i struggled to pin down way more but i honestly just like watching westerns, particularly contemporary and revisionist westerns, and that ended up really helping me with that.

when you watch a lot of cowboy media, you start to notice the unique way in which characters talk in those stories. this doesn't necessarily apply to arcade so much, since he's quite verbose, but a note to myself i kept at the top of my draft for my dialogue was:

abbreviate and omit but use ten dollar words

ulysses is a good example if you want to pick one from new vegas itself.

to me, characters in western settings always kind of feel like they're not used to talking a lot, even when they're currently holding long speeches like ulysses tends to do.

although he's the single most wordy character in the game, he has this very staccato way of speaking where it feels like he cuts off the start of sentences or omits parts of them.

an example of that when you're writing less weighty dialogue than any lines from ulysses is to just omit the "i" at the start of sentences.

so instead of saying "i don't see how that could happen," i would just say "don't see how."

this turned out pretty long, i hope it'll be of some use to you, haha! feel free to message me if you ever have any other questions or just want to chat, i always love shooting the shit about fallout!

#answer #tf2strategist

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mirallet · 2 years

Text

Fallout 4 send companion back to where they came from

FALLOUT 4 SEND COMPANION BACK TO WHERE THEY CAME FROM MOD

FALLOUT 4 SEND COMPANION BACK TO WHERE THEY CAME FROM MODS

FALLOUT 4 SEND COMPANION BACK TO WHERE THEY CAME FROM PS4

I did some hunting, and i couldn't find anything like it on the beth site, and really not so much on here either.

FALLOUT 4 SEND COMPANION BACK TO WHERE THEY CAME FROM PS4

That's the good news.īad news- it's only for PS4 ! The author hasn't released it for PC!

FALLOUT 4 SEND COMPANION BACK TO WHERE THEY CAME FROM MOD

There is a mod called Basic Companion Helper, that can do a bunch of stuff for companions, including actually force them to go ahead and complete that script. (After hunting around for about half an hour). It essentially leaves the companion half way between still following you, and NOT still following you. However, there's a bug in the game where every now and then, that script doesn't do the last part of it's job, and doesn't delete. The script is SUPPOSED to do it's job, and then DELETE ITSELF. There is a script that is triggered, when you go to dismiss a companion. Later on, I did find out what's causing the issue. However since I have to play on a ps4, I thought that my options were pretty bad, and I ended up just starting up a new character. Does anyone know of any other methods I didn't try so far? Could it be related to the Heather mod? Recycle, kill, reset, resetai console commands (nothing worked) setconsolescopequest followers -> emptyrefalias companion -> setplayerteammate 0 (didn't work)ĥ. Dismissing by recruiting a different companion (somewhat two companions after that)Ĥ. cf "tcompanion" false false (didn't work)ģ. Looking for any followersscript.pex files to delete (didn't have any)Ģ. So far I tried the following solutions found on this forum:ġ. The only thing closest to a multiple follower mod I use is probably Heather Casdin (you can have her independently to your normal followers, if I'm not mistaken).

FALLOUT 4 SEND COMPANION BACK TO WHERE THEY CAME FROM MODS

I don't use any multiple follower mods or the 'Welcome to Goodneighbor' one, which I read is notorious for messing with companions. I'm pretty sure the issue appeared after that. However, the second time it happened, I noticed it was during the Silver Shroud quest - at some point I had to dismiss my companion so that I could recruit Hancock to get past the bug related to having completed the ' Big Dig' earlier. Second time I noticed it occured again too late and all previous saves I could go back to were already affected. First time I detected the bug early and reverted to an earlier save, which solved the issue. I had 2 instances of this bug occuring for different companions. If I try to recruit a new follower when the old one is in the 'running' state, I will have two followers - the new one will be active as normal and the other will keep running after me (never tried recruiting anyone new after this step to check if I can have 3, though) When following while dismissed, they will never engage in combat with anything even if being attacked themselves I can easily recruit them back at any time and they will behave like a normal follower again After dismissal the companion will always run after me, never walk. I have a little issue with companions, namely that I cannot dismiss them for some reason - the dialogue is there, I can choose which settlement to send them to, but once confimed, they will make few steps as if they were about to leave as expected, but then turn around and come running back to me.

#Fallout 4 send companion back to where they came from

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