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zbeez-outlet · 2 months

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This is my (unasked for) review and critique of Netflix’s live-action adaptation of Avatar: The Last Airbender. I’m not expecting much of a response, I just have so much to say and no one to talk about it with. I’m putting it here so it doesn’t fester in my brain and it’s my blog, I can talk about whatever I want.

I am going to divide it into two major sections, the first being a review of the show as a stand alone, the second being a comparison to the source material. Each section will have smaller headers so I can stay on topic and organized, I’m going to try really hard not to obnoxiously rant or flood my review with unsupported opinions. I have a lot to say, but I want to make sure I articulate myself well and don’t fall into venting without reason. If you see me doing that, please let me know.

I want it to be made clear now that these are my thoughts on the show, I’m not forcing anyone to think the same as I do or insulting anyone for having different views than me. I also want people to know that this is an extensive detailed review, I’m going to be covering a lot of very broad and very narrow topics. I’m not trying to nitpick inconsequential details, this review is supposed to focus on important and fundemental aspects of the show. I will be harsh, but I’m going to try not to be unreasonable.

This is going to be extremely long. If you’re not interested in reading it all, I completely understand and I’m going to include my initial rating and a summary of why I gave it that rating here.

My overall rating of the show: 4/10

Review Summary: While the visual effects and environments were for the most part really great, the quality of writing fell behind drastically in comparison. There were major issues with characterization, consistency, and plot development that will pose a challenge in future seasons. The dialogue was often dry and overly expository, it allowed no room for nuance, subtlety, or complexity because they’re constantly telling us what everyone is doing, thinking, and feeling. The acting was mostly subpar, but I think that was because the writing suffered so greatly rather than through major lack of talent or skill from the actors. The pacing was abysmal, 8 episodes was never going to be enough time to tell this story. For me, it has a very surface level amount of entertainment but as soon as you try to look a little closer, try to answer questions or search for any depth, the quality drops entirely.

Extensive in depth review below. Because I’m not watching the show as I’m writing this, please let me know if I’m misremembering any major details so that I can correct myself if/when needed.

Sorry in advance for how obnoxiously long this is, I tried to give clear headers so you can bounce around any specific topics that interest you.

NETFLIX ATLA as a Stand Alone Show

In this section, I will not be making any comparisons or references to previous Avatar content. I will do my best to strictly speak on what Netflix gave us and its quality in different categories.

Costumes/Makeup

Overall, I thought the design of the costumes and styling was really solid. They felt really unique and representative of the different cultures, which is always appreciated. There was an issue for me though that took me out of the show sometimes. Nothing looked lived in. There was no dirt, stains, wrinkles, or wear and tear of any kind and the colors were so bright. The actors sometimes looked like they were doing a theater play or dressing up for Halloween, not living in a struggling world at war. Overall, costuming and makeup was really good, just throw some dirt on there!

Yue’s wig was terrible, I think we can all agree.

I do have a gripe with Zuko’s design though. His scar looks like a bruise or an eye infection, not a gruesome burn scar. I know I’m not the first person to say this, and I’ll keep saying it until they listen. It needs texture, it needs to be larger, and for the love of god shave his eyebrow.

Environments and Locations

I thought the locations looked great, especially the artful cgi on the wide shots of places like the Southern Air Temple, the Fire Nation and their ships, and Omashu. Good cinematography and just really well done work as a whole. There’s a few times when the backgrounds during scenes looked more like stage sets than lived in cities or villages, but it was rarely anything so drastic it harmed the show for me. I really liked the amount of background clutter and knickknacks that helped with realism and there was always a lot of people that helped these places feel populated. Zuko’s room on his ship especially was so cool, it told so much of his story without ever needing explanation. Having a collection of avatar artifacts and plastering his walls with drawings, research, theories, maps, and plans was genius. I loved that they included animals, once again it helps with immersion and realism, and it would be really easy to just not include them for simplicity sake. Especially the funky animal hybrids, I hope to see more going forward! The use of ice, wood, furs, and bone for the Southern Water Tribe was so good. The massive rib cage for the community hut in the tribe was fantastic. I could go on for a long time. For me, the settings were probably the best part of the season.

Bending Graphics

The strongest elements of bending visually were air and fire. They really captured the movements of each, the fluidity and speed of air bending, and the aggression and passion of fire bending. Earth bending looked okay, the actors did a pretty good job of making it look heavy, but overall it felt like it was moving too slowly to me. I think the scene at the beginning of the first episode was the best example of earth bending. The fight with Bumi was very underwhelming for me.

Water bending looked terrible almost the whole time. The way the water physically looked was pretty good, but there was absolutely no weight behind it. Every time Katara hit someone with water, it splashed with the force of a Nerf water gun. The movements were slow, clunky, and so nonthreatening I probably wouldn’t have tried to dodge a single one of her attacks. Her battle with Pakku was one of the most boring battles I’ve ever seen. There was no haste or desperation in either participant. I’m hoping they’ll figure out how to do this better in the future. The ice was decent though.

As a whole, the fight choreography looked pretty good. Certainly moves I could never do. There were times when characters were completely cgi to account for difficult or impossible moves and it was really obvious. Aang in particular looked very wonky when he was fully cgi during his Avatar State moments or when he was flying around like his introduction scene. So passable but definitely room for improvement, I think the artists who work on these aspects of shows and films are very impressive.

Dialogue

The dialogue is 80% exposition, 19% repetitive conversations about responsibility and duty, and 1% misplaced poorly written humor. It’s unnatural, it’s dry, it doesn’t allow for any nuance, and there’s no room for character growth or connection when they have to waste all their words on making sure the plot is on track.

When the introduction of your main character is him looking directly into the camera and telling us the kind of person he is, there’s a dialogue problem. When so much happens off screen that you have to have characters talk to fill in plot holes because there’s just not enough time to tell the story, there’s a dialogue problem. When you put intentional pauses around bad jokes for people to laugh, there’s a dialogue problem. When characters have to say over and over that they’re family but they don’t feel like family in the slightest, there’s a dialogue and characterization problem. I’m not going to script the bad examples, I don’t have the time or patience for that, but I was very unimpressed. It felt like the first draft of a script to me.

And I dare anyone, of legal drinking age of course, to take a shot every time a character says the words responsibility or duty. I swear the floor and ceiling will switch before you reach episode 3. If characters have to keep shoving their responsibilities down our throats without actually doing anything to solve them, there’s a dialogue, characterization, and plot problem.

Also one of my biggest pet peeves with a series is when the first episode or movie ends with a line like “It’s only the beginning” and then plays crazily dramatic music. But that’s a personal preference, not an actual issue.

Acting

First and foremost, I have nothing against any of these actors. I’m sure they’re perfectly wonderful people and they deserve opportunities to prove themselves. My goal here is not to shame or insult or belittle any actor on this show. That being said, none of their performances were perfect and I do have critiques. This is not meant to be a personal attack on any of them or on anyone who enjoyed their performances.

I think the dialogue and overall writing really worked against the potential these actors had. I don’t know how involved the director was in the filming process or helping them with their performances, but there were definitely some failures here.

The strongest performances to me were Sokka, Iroh, Lieutenant Jee, and the Earth bender that threatened Iroh when he was captured (I couldn’t find his name, but he had an unprecedentedly good performance). By far the best was Jee, I felt his emotion more than any other character on the show and would love to see a lot more of him. Sokka balanced well enough with what he was given, but he also had the most character opportunity (which I’ll get into in the next section). Iroh I think filled the mentor roll pretty well, the writing for him leaned a little to close to fortune cookie, but he did feel wise and powerful when he needed to be, mostly. For a comedian though, his humor fell really flat to me, I wish they had given Paul Sun-Hyung Lee some freedom to improv, I think he would’ve done a good job if he could play with the character.

Katara and Azula were awful (so was Mai, but she didn’t get a lot of screen time so I’m not going to focus on her). Katara was so dull and emotionless for the majority of her role, her delivery felt so unnatural. Again, I think the writing was an obstacle, but I felt no connection from Katara at all. And certainly not between her and any of the other characters, which is a major problem for one of the main cast. Her and Sokka felt like strangers half the time, like they were getting to know each other as much as we were getting to know them. I swear Azula’s actress was reading off a teleprompter the entire time, she was somehow robotic and overacted at the same time (I’m sorry, I know that’s harsh, but she just isn’t a good actress, at least not in this).

Zuko had some really solid moments, his scenes with Iroh in particular were great, but overall I didn’t love him. A lot of people seem to be upset at his “tantrums” but honestly I think they fit the character well, though there was one or two too many. He’s an extremely troubled teenager estranged from his family and home, tantrums make sense. Again, I think the dialogue really got in the way of his potential and I don’t think he pushed his acting range enough. Almost every actor needed to show more emotion in one way or another.

Aang has some of the best moments and some of the worst. I have a lot of respect for young child actors, especially ones taking on the challenge of such a massive beloved character or franchise. It’s a lot of pressure for someone still growing up and learning how to be his own person. He handled the few childlike moments Aang was given so so well, he has the brightest little smile and playful attitude. The disconnect came with his more serious moments, he’d get these long monologues and, like Azula, sometimes seemed like he was reading off a teleprompter. I do think it’s a character he’ll grow into really nicely though as long as the writing lends itself to that.

It’s very important to remember that the director signs off on everything. Every performance, every scene, every script (that is also signed off by the lead writer). If something is off, it is not strictly the actors’ faults and should never be treated as such. Do the actors need more experience? Sure, but they more importantly need better direction, scripts, and support from the crew than what they’ve gotten. I’ve seen interviews with the main cast and they all seem wonderful with a lot of potential, particularly the actor for Aang, so clearly the director and lead writer are the ones that are slacking.

Characterization (of the main cast)

Aang

He goes through no change or character development from the beginning to the end of this season.

His water bending training hasn’t even started and he has no further control of the avatar state, so power wise he’s remained completely stagnant.

He constantly says how important Sokka and Katara are, because they’re his “friends”, but there’s been no bonding or development of their relationships. If they didn’t tell us so often, I wouldn’t even think they knew each other beyond first day of school ice breakers.

His most profound moment was his conversation with Gyatso in the spirit world, which I actually really liked. I think he really needed support from someone who knew him before. The home being deserted when Aang goes back to see him definitely hurt.

It feels like this show really really wants us to hate this 12 year old boy. Every adult or authority figure is constantly yelling or berating Aang for something he didn’t even do, it was an accident he didn’t come home and got frozen in ice. Especially from the avatar spirits who should know for a fact he didn’t purposefully run from his responsibilities. The tone is all off and I’m not sure the writers understand what they wrote.

Aang’s biggest mental hurdle will continue to be his guilt for disappearing, which he didn’t even do on purpose so the guilt is unjustified, at least the amount others are thrusting on him.

He looks confident at the end of the season, but I don’t buy it because he hasn’t earned it, there was nothing that he did or said that showed why he would feel so confident when he hasn’t learned anything and he hasn’t proven himself capable beyond getting possessed by the right spirits.

His reaction and aftermath to the death of his entire culture was very underwhelming. His grief sent him into the Avatar state and then he mutters a bland apology and the others are mad at him for falling apart when he’s literally lost everything and everyone he’s ever known. It’s something that needs to be handled far more delicately and it’s not.

As the titular character, it kinda sucks how sidelined his character development has been.

Sokka

If I had no knowledge of this series going into it, I might assume Sokka is the main character because he has the most developmental moments in the season and is easily the most well written character.

Physically handing over the protection of his tribe, while small, was a profound moment for him because he was not only going against his father’s orders, it was the first step to realizing he could be something more than a fishing boy from the south. Which is pretty much his whole emotional arc.

With Suki, he was able to prove himself as someone willing to learn and better himself as a warrior. He learned too fast considering it felt like they were only there for a day maybe, but they were on a time crunch with pacing.

In Omashu, Sokka found that his hobby for invention shows he has a talent for engineering and being a tactician. These are pretty important traits that make him a well rounded character.

By the end of the season, he’s gone through pretty profound loss and change to become the beginnings of a leader.

He was kind of supposed to be comic relief as well, but honestly to me it was done as a sloppy afterthought and almost none of the humor landed. Not just with him, but with most comedic moments.

Katara

I’m sorry, I’m about to rip this poor girl to shreds, the writing for her was awful.

She has absolutely no personality beyond the thousand yard stare she gets every time her mom comes up. Every emotion she has is weak and downplayed by exposition, she’s mostly passive and has almost no effect on the characters around her (besides Jet sort of? And I guess Pokku during the most boring fight of the show).

She adds almost nothing to the team besides being a water bender. It’s literally her only characteristic beyond dead mother.

Speaking of water bending, she did absolutely nothing to earn the title of master and no one can convince me otherwise.

She learned six moves from a scroll, trained off screen so we have to take her word for it, made one move that she copied from another bender, and never once had a single second of instruction from an actual master. Getting that title when she’s done nothing to earn it is crazy.

Teaching herself with no support or guidance is not empowering like the writers seem to think it is. It’s just lazy and so unrealistic it’s laughable. She doesn’t have any of the training necessary to be considered a master.

Also I just really dislike how every obstacle for her to be a better water bender is a mental one, first with Aang and then with Jet. Like yes, clearly emotional state matters, but it’s still a physical discipline that requires technique and training of which she’s had none of besides pictures in the scroll.

The fact she was so dismissive and disrespectful of healing bothers me too when it’s a very valuable practice. She didn’t stay for that training either, so how is she going to use the oasis water in the future? Oh wait, Katara’s “a natural” which is just so infuriating because she’s barely struggled to learn a thing the whole season. As soon as she’s in a good mood, her bending works just fine. That’s not how learning or mastering a discipline should work.

Sorry, I know I’m getting into ranting, I’m backing off. It’s just such poor character work for someone so important to the story.

Zuko

Episode 6, “Masks”, was by far the best episode and largely because of Zuko’s character work. Outside of that episode, he’s pretty consistently narrow minded and angry which doesn’t offer him a lot of depth. But it’s all packed into “Masks”.

I loved that the 41st division was his crew as it was physical proof of his sacrifice and compassion for life. Obviously his scar is also proof, but seeing the people he saved alive hits different. And the fact that he didn’t try to take any credit is very modest and honorable for him.

However, I wish he had chosen to make the 41st his crew rather than it being forced on him as an additional punishment to his banishment. I think if he had made that choice, it would have showed even stronger resolve.

His moment with Aang in the shed after rescuing him as the Blue Spirit was very well done and showed how hard it’s going to be for him to overcome his father’s influence.

Lu Ten’s funeral was a wonderful moment meant to build on Zuko’s relationship with Uncle Iroh, it was quite beautiful.

Unfortunately, outside of the moments I mentioned, there wasn’t much other opportunity for character growth because it had to be so exposition heavy.

Although he did choose to go after his Uncle instead of the Avatar in Omashu and that’s an important value in family that Zuko has.

I do appreciate that they cemented his ideals around honest and honorable glory, but it did get a little preachy and repetitive.

I think overall he has a lot of potential for growth in future seasons.

Pacing

Whoever thought 8 episodes was enough to tell this story is extremely delusional. Having more minutes does not equal having more time, 8 episodes offers no wiggle room for such an expansive story no matter how long they are. I’m so sick of production companies thinking it’s okay to so heavily compress storytelling, let your characters breathe and give them some time to develop. It’s one thing when it’s something like Queen’s Gambit (which is fantastic, if you haven’t watched it you should!) that only focuses on one person vs Avatar which is balancing four or five main characters, extensive world building, and complicated plots. It’s something that needs time, but is instead rushed so drastically there’s barely any time to comprehend one conflict or character before another one is expositing in your face. Netflix is one of the biggest offenders of this, but HBO does the same. The Last of Us could have used an extra episode or two for Joel and Ellie’s relationship to solidify more (I’m not going to get into TLOU though, so please don’t come for me for this opinion, it’s not the focus and if you want a more extensive review of that, let me know). It feels like writers think characterization and development just happens and they don’t have to take the time to actually write it in.

With 2-4 more episodes, they could have had the time to really explore the things they needed to without overloading on exposition. Ask yourself how much time did you feel like passed between episode one and eight? Did it feel like the few months it was supposed to be? To me it felt like maybe two-three weeks, and that’s not the fault of watching it so quickly. There’s never any indication of how much time passes, which is its own issue, but also ultimately confuses audiences if they have to guess.

Every interaction and conflict is rushed, why are these writers so scared to take their time? If Netflix isn’t offering more episodes, then you need to adjust your writing to compensate, not condense everything like a sardine can and then act surprised when it’s a structural problem. It’s a fundamental issue that affected the entire potential of the show.

Plot

Aang should have, at the very least, started mastering water bending. It’s stated several times in the season that he needs to in order to fully become the avatar and be powerful enough to end the war. That is the overarching plot that is integral to the story. And yet he doesn’t bend a single drop of water the entire show until he’s forced to after being possessed by the vengeful ocean spirit (and when Kyoshi also possesses him, but again that wasn’t him, that was the avatar state). Because of the time skips that’ll have to happen between seasons, he’ll probably do most, if not all, of his water bending training off screen. Which is, say it with me, bad writing!

They kept hinting at the comet but never outright said what it would do or when it would arrive. Not giving any kind of timeline for the biggest conflict of the show is really worrisome for their future plans. I understand they have to allow a certain amount of time flexibility to account for the younger actors aging, especially Aang, which I completely understand and respect. That’s why time skips will happen. But to not give any kind of timeline shows really poor planning.

Also, please tell me if I’m misremembering or if I somehow missed it during my watch through, but I’m pretty sure Team Avatar still doesn’t even know about the comet, what it means, or when it’s coming. That’s a pretty big thing to overlook when it’s the catalyst for the Fire Nation’s power.

The fact that the show kicked off with the genocide of the Airbenders, who are all conveniently in the same spot, and Aang just happened to escape it because he essentially went for a walk to clear his head and got caught in a storm that came out of no where is way too coincidental for believable circumstances. It’s, louder for those in the back, bad writing!

They had four years to plan this all out, I don’t understand why it all seems so unfinished and thrown together with pieces from different jigsaw puzzles!

Comparisons to Source Material

In this section, I will be comparing the Netflix adaptation of ATLA to the original animated series. This will be about things that stuck out most to me as consistencies, changes, and valuable moments in each rendition of the story.

Consistencies

Writing-wise, obviously they got a lot of the big plot points down, and I’m not going to list them all. If you’ve watched both, you know what they are. Pretty much the essentials…sort of. The great divide even got a shoutout which I thought was funny.

I mentioned above how “Masks” was by far the best episode of the Netflix season, well it’s not a coincidence that it also has the most parallels and consistencies with the episodes it was based on (“Storm” and “Blue Spirit” which are also arguably the best episodes of Book One). I was going to be so mad if they took away the Blue Spirit part of Zuko’s character, but clearly it’s a fan favorite and for the most part I think they did it justice.

I loved that they kept in a lot of the hybrid animals, at least in dialogue if we didn’t actually get to see them. It would have been a really easy thing to just get rid of for simplicity sake. I hope we get to see some more CGI versions of these animals because the ostrich horse looked really good. Momo and Appa for the most part looked good, sometimes a little wonky but nothing crazy, I just wish they had more screen time. They don’t feel like characters yet, just a pet and a vehicle (essentially).

I was really pleasantly surprised to see Hei Bai, I was honestly expecting them to scrap him. He looked really cool too. I do wish we could have seen him turn back into a panda when Aang helped him, but overall I’m just glad we got him at all.

I didn’t love what they used him for, but Kho was visually amazing and everything I hoped for. Absolutely terrifying, will haunt my nightmares again.

June was also a pleasant surprise, I hadn’t looked too deep into the cast list and wasn’t sure if she’d be included. I did think it was a little weird she was flirting with Iroh vs the other way around (like what was the point of that? just take out the flirting entirely if you’re going to be weird about it) but overall she’s pretty much one to one the same and I still liked her a lot. Nala should have been a little more anteater/mole-like instead of wolfish but overall not bad at all.

We got the Cabbage Man. They teased him a little a first, but we got him.

My Favorite Moments from the Netflix Version that Change or Expand on the Original

I sang its praises above, but again Lu Ten’s funeral scene was just so beautiful and really built on Iroh’s fatherly affection for Zuko. I know it’s mostly a replacement for the leaves from the vine scene in “Tales of Ba Sing Se” because they’re never going to be able to fit in that episode. So it’s nice that they deemed it a moment worth capturing in a different way.

I’m not going to reiterate exactly what I said above so go see Zuko’s characterization again if you need to, but making the 41st division his crew members was a constructive choice that I liked a lot.

I don’t know why but just the idea of Gyatso sticking around in the spirit world to be able to speak to Aang one last time hit me so hard. I absolutely loved it as an addition to building their relationship. Aang always deserved a goodbye, and even though this wasn’t exactly that, it was what Aang needed to cope with his immense loss and the pressure he was under.

When Iroh was arrested by the guards of Omashu and being taken to the pit, he had a really intense but moving interaction with one of the earth bending soldiers. I think it was such a good way to portray war and perspectives from both sides. The soldier rightfully and angrily blamed Iroh for his brother who died at the siege of Ba Sing Se, which Iroh was responsible for. He accused Iroh of being evil, of having never gone through loss, which we as viewers know isn’t true, but he doesn’t say anything. Doesn’t defend himself. Doesn’t reveal his own loss to get even. He takes the abuse and the blame and just utters that enough people have been hurt. Great performances all around, really solid writing. I wish more of the show had followed this example.

That lady hitting Zuko with a brush to stop him from attacking Aang, a child, in Omashu’s marketplace. That was one of the funniest scenes in the whole show. Bring her back!

“Everything I need is on this boat.” - ‘nuff said.

Major Character Differences (I’ll try to keep this concise)

Aang

He lost the majority of his lightheartedness which made him so lovable in the first place. He does a lot of monologues and speeches to intense music now. He’s still 12 guys, let him swim with giant elephant koi and dress up as Pippinpaddleopsicopolis the Third to get into Omashu!

I really don’t like that they changed him actively running from his title and responsibilities to just going for a jaunt with Appa to clear his head. That removes so much depth, guilt, and fear that he should have. In the original, it was his choice to run away with the intention of hiding and never coming back, in the Netflix version, it was an accident he never came home. That’s a massive character change.

People called him a coward, but he literally isn’t when it was a very coincidental accident that forced him into the ice in the first place rather than his choice to actively run from his destiny. He’s yelled at and screamed at and insulted constantly, even by people who are meant to help him, when he didn’t even do what they’re accusing him of. He didn’t deliberately run away, he accidentally got caught in a storm. And he just takes all of that guilt and blame and anger from everyone when he genuinely did nothing wrong.

Getting rid of his crush on Katara is a problem, but I’ll get into that more later.

I don’t care why they think they did it, but making Aang agree with Pakku in any respect about not letting Katara train or fight was so extremely disrespectful to both characters.

His reaction to losing his people was way underdeveloped, they gave him no time to grieve. And the fact that Katara doesn’t help him out of his initial Avatar State spiral is so damaging to the friendship they’re supposed to have. Their friendship always came first, let them interact and build that relationship!

Sokka

His small sexism arc that everyone is up in arms about. Do I think it should have been included? Yes. Is it the end all be all of his character? No, like I mentioned above, he got the most character moments in the show. But it was really important in its own way. I saw someone say, “Sokka may not be misogynistic, but Netflix’s ATLA adaptation certainly is.” And they’re right.

What I really didn’t like was what they did with his relationship with his father and ice dodging. Sokka had a great relationship with Hakoda built on trust, mutual admiration, similar tactical mindsets, and strength of character. He passed his ice dodging test with Bato with flying colors. There’s no reason to completely flip those dynamics, there’s already enough other conflicts to explore without giving Sokka daddy issues he didn’t have in the first place. Whoever made that choice was projecting hard.

Hakoda eventually trusts Sokka to lead the invasion in Book 3, but none of that exists here and it doesn’t feel like there’s a path yet to lead to that. (I have a lot to say about the invasion later)

They have Sokka take over a very paternal role with Katara instead of her being maternal, and he is constantly very overbearing, patronizing, and talking down to her as if she has no (or does not deserve a) mind or agency of her own. They (as in the writers) are acting like the age difference between them is 10 years instead of 1-2 years.

Also taking out the very important moment when Sokka was the one who saved an entire Fire Nation village from Jet was just wrong. Not only was it an important stepping stone towards leadership and diplomacy for Sokka, but it also showed that even on the “bad side” of the war, there are innocent people who deserve protecting.

Sokka wasn’t nearly as funny as he should have been.

Katara

Everything about her was wrong, scrap it and try again.

She had none of the passion she should have had. Katara gets mad, she yells and insults and waves her arms around to make her point. She gets jealous and petty. But she’s also so unbelievably kind and caring, she’s the only reason any of them take proper care of themselves. She’s lighthearted and fun when she can be, she plays and laughs and cares so incredibly deeply.

Katara inspires people in a way none of the other characters can, although Aang does learn a lot from her in that regard. She’s incredibly hardworking, loyal, and dedicated to those she loves. And yes, she feels immense pain and sadness for her mother, but that’s not all she is.

LA Katara felt like a hollow shell 90% of the time used for exposition, 5% mom trauma, and 5% sort of emotional. The writing just didn’t lend itself to complexity, flaws, or character depth.

She’s one of the first well written and well rounded female characters a lot of us encountered as kids and they stripped her of everything that made her who she is. Someone for young girls to look up to. It’s shameful.

For some reason they made her explicitly and directly responsible for her mother’s death, which is a very strange and damaging change to make that I don’t think they totally understand the difference of from the original.

They took away all of her maternal behavior, which just tells us what they think of maternal behavior, that it’s a weak trait for a leading character and not worth exploring in a person that had to take that role in her family and village as a whole at such a young age. It’s like the writers thought that Katara being motherly was problematic and sexist, which is a mindset that is itself problematic and sexist.

They’ve essentially turned bending into a magic that relies solely on emotional and mental stability instead of a martial arts form requiring discipline and training. I don’t even think the writers realize they’ve done this, which in and of itself is a massive issue.

Although I will say the water whip on the flaming arrow was a good use of water bending, it just didn’t feel earned to me.

For as much as they focused on her mom, they never once brought up Katara’s necklace?? They took out Pokku’s connection to Gran Gran and never mentioned anything about betrothal necklaces. There’s just so many changes they made, large and small, that feel pointless or contradictory to the source material for no reason.

Zuko

Frankly, so early into Zuko’s character arc, there isn’t a lot of difference here. Most of his development starts in Book 2. I do like the animated version a lot better, though. I am biased, but I also think that even though they hit on almost all the same points, the original just handled it with far more nuance, care, and time. With the Netflix version being so rushed, any payoffs we had just didn’t feel totally earned.

I do think it was a big shame that they had Iroh kill Zhao instead of allowing Zuko’s attempt to save him from the ocean spirit. It’s a pretty important character moment that shows how Zuko wants to help people, save people, if he can regardless of how they’ve treated him. They can make this point again if they do “Zuko Alone”, but I’m honestly really scared they’ll cut it.

Having Zuko fight back during the Agni Kai against his father in the flash back was way out of character and takes away from the severity of the punishment and the trauma of the abuse. He was a 13 year old child terrified of not just disappointing his father, but of suffering harm from the one person he should trust most. And Ozai convinces him he deserves it, so there’s no world where he would have fought back in that scene. And it changes the meaning from a father violently burning a child that has surrendered and begs for forgiveness to a soldier winning a one-on-one battle against another soldier and branding his victory, no matter how dishonorable it is.

Also, at this point, Zuko is an amateur fire bender with barely any experience or progress in his training. Him getting the high ground over Ozai for even a second is ridiculous and diminishes Ozai’s skill level. It could be argued Ozai did it on purpose to give Zuko an opportunity to prove himself as ruthless as Ozai wants him to be, but that completely goes against the precedent set by Ozai that he hates being questioned or otherwise made to look weak in front of anyone. I think I understand what they were going for, but honestly it came off as an opportunity to show off the actor’s fighting skills rather than holding the weight it should for the story.

I DO like that Zuko has a war journal (*diary*) about the avatar, history, and essentially a map of his journey. I DON’T like that Team Avatar uses it as an expository tool and excuse to not properly explore the world and learn things for themselves or through other people.

I don’t think Zuko said the word “honor” once, but please correct me if I’m wrong.

Iroh

Similar to Zuko, they hit a lot of the same surface level points with a few misses here and there.

They didn’t show us Iroh’s connection to the spirit world, they just told us right before the battle at the North Pole and we’re supposed to believe it, which we do because we’ve seen the original, but that was kind of lame. (Not including Roku’s dragon was also lame, but I digress).

They expanded on his past in a few different ways which I did like a lot and mentioned above.

The Netflix version comes off more preachy and gimmicky to me than wise, which is disappointing. I think the actor could have done amazingly with the right script.

They didn’t show him redirecting lightning, which is arguably one of the most valuable skills in the entire show and extremely important for the finale for both Aang and Zuko.

And just like Sokka, he was not nearly funny enough.

Bumi

His characterization was all backwards and wrong and I hated it.

Visually, his makeup and design was pretty good, but that’s the extent of any positives with the Netflix version.

Bumi would absolutely never ever ever have made a joke about the genocide that took Aang’s entire people. That was disgusting and disrespectful to Bumi and Aang.

He was never mad at Aang for disappearing, he was actually extremely understanding and only hoping to teach Aang further about his duties as the avatar. He quite literally welcomed him back with open arms.

The way he treated others, especially his servants, was appalling and borderline cruel.

He never stepped down from protecting his people or became complacent in a way that put them in danger, Omashu was thriving beautifully under his care. When he surrendered to the Fire Nation in Book 2, it was the best way to protect his people without bloodshed and he knew he’d eventually get their home back. He was literally waiting for the Solar Eclipse to do it (which I’ll touch more on later).

This also means that by having Bumi actively fight and lose, instead of surrendering with neutral jing, he won’t be able to realistically give Aang the advice that is supposed to lead him to Toph. Wait and Listen.

I did appreciate the lesson he was trying to convey to Aang about the difficult choices that wartime forces on us, especially leadership (like who gets what food or medicine), but they did it all wrong.

Shame on the writers for what they did to Bumi’s character, I could write an entire essay on everything they screwed up just with Bumi.

Suki

They made her into a lovesick day dreamer instead of the strong warrior and leader she was meant to be. She’s going to go off to war, don’t diminish her strength. Her being a fighter should be the forefront of her character, not a lonely girl pining for a boy and dreaming about the big world.

Her and Sokka’s relationship should have been built up over time, their kiss was so misplaced. When not much time passes before Sokka falls for Yue, it makes him seem like a player.

And that moment Suki’s staring at him shirtless is cringy and yucky, they’re teenagers. Don’t do that.

We’ll see how she is when she shows up again…I actually liked the actress quite a bit, but her writing wasn’t good. That seems to be a theme here though.

I do wish her hair was still auburn instead of black, that’s personal preference though.

Gyatso

They did him so dirty with his death, it was anticlimactic with none of the power or savagery that was implied in the original. His skeleton was literally surrounded by dead Fire Nation soldiers, I wanted to see that dangerous potential on screen and am very disappointed not to get it given how explicitly they wanted to show the genocide of the airbenders.

Jet

Jet’s vendetta is specifically against the Fire Nation. On some level I do believe he would resort to violence against a traitor giving the Fire Nation information, but I don’t think he ever would have put Tao or other innocent (non-Fire Nation) bystanders at such great risk. Maybe that’s splitting hairs though since in the original he was prepared to drown an entire village, of Fire Nation people specifically, as a whole he felt pretty consistent.

I just don’t like Netflix smashing so many plots and characters together, they deserve room to breathe in their own stories.

I hate that he was the catalyst for Katara’s bending training though, instead of her own hard work and practice or training with actual masters. Jet knows nothing about bending or how it works. It’s another instance of stripping Katara of her skill and work ethic.

Yue

As a personal preference, I hate that they made Yue a water bender. She has part of the spirit of the moon in her, so logically I understand where they’re coming from giving her those abilities. But she’s not a water bender! The spirit was working to keep her alive, not to give her powers she shouldn’t have had in the first place.

She’s a princess dedicated to her people and wanting to learn how to lead but also buckling under the pressure of expectations, particularly around her arranged marriage. I saw none of that in the Netflix adaptation, except that she likes to make desserts when she’s stressed, so there’s that I guess. It’s just still missing the depth, but again they don’t have time to really explore these topics.

They make a point with Pokku about the role of women in the Northern Water Tribe and yet somehow Yue is allowed to just call off her arranged marriage. That’s a pretty distinct cultural contradiction. It just shows me the writers don’t know how to portray misogyny as a narrative tool or how to do consistent world building.

Her wig looked awful.

They should have used what happened to Momo (which ouch, that wasn’t necessary) as an opportunity for Katara to prove that she knows how to heal, because she hasn’t done it yet and she’s supposed to bring Aang back from the dead in Book 2.

Azula

I appreciated her introduction scene where she exposes a coup against her father while undercover. It was a little cheesy with her reveal, but it does establish her character decently well early on. And the cover she chose, dead brother and mother, is really interesting narratively.

The writers for Netflix went off about how they didn’t want to portray sexism, through Sokka specifically, but then they stripped the main female leads of most of their agency (Katara, Suki, and Azula all fit this category, I’m worried what they’ll do to Toph).

Azula has almost none of the arrogance that she should have, certainly none of the calm calculated intensity that made her so fearsome and intimidating. Azula should be scary, and she’s definitely not here. She just came off as such a brat with a twitchy face and prone to tantrums.

Her fire isn’t blue, that bothers me a lot. Blue fire is hotter than red fire, it’s supposed to be an indication of not only her fire bending strength but also her temperament. Plus it’s supposed to help us differentiate between their powers when she’s fighting Zuko.

Lightning bending requires so much skill, precision, power, and focus. I don’t believe for a second Netflix’s Azula should actually be able to do it. She was only able to do it because she was mad, and that’s not how it’s supposed to work.

She definitely didn’t earn being able to overpower Bumi and takeover Omashu. Although granted it feels like they nerfed a lot of Bumi’s power, he certainly doesn’t feel like one of the most powerful earth benders in the world.

Ozai had originally sent her out to collect Zuko and Iroh, not to lead an army in a battle against one of the greatest (or what should be one of the greatest) strongholds in the Earth Kingdom. It’s unrealistic and silly. And it’s not like Bumi gave up like he did in the original, he literally said “We’ll be ready to fight” when he revealed that the Fire Nation was headed their way.

Ozai treating her like a nuisance is also way out of character. He’s supposed to feed into her ego and inflating all of her more dangerous traits because he sees them as powerful and necessary for the future leader he expects Azula to be. Zuko should be the disappointing son with no faith or support from Ozai, and Azula the gifted prodigy given every opportunity and surpassing Zuko in Ozai’s eyes. As Zuko said, “He used to say Azula was born lucky, I was lucky to be born.” Somehow that dynamic has almost completely switched and Azula suffered the most from it.

She’s very miscast, the actress was awful. I’m sorry, but not sorry enough not to say it.

Ozai

Ozai should despise Zuko, he’s far more terrifying that way. It’s way more compelling watching a son that’s been so manipulated by his traumas try to win the affections of his father that don’t even exist than the same daddy issues we see in almost every movie or show where the son is trying to live up to his father’s expectations unhappily. Ozai should have no expectations for Zuko, that’s the difference. He sent Zuko on a mission he wouldn’t come back from on purpose, to get rid of him.

That’s terrifying, how disconnected he can be from his son. Trying to make Ozai more human or sympathetic by making him care for Zuko takes away from the monster he’s supposed to be as a villain. They’re not making him more complex, they’re making him more generic.

I just kind of generally don’t like that they’ve revealed so much about him and Azula in Book 1 because part of the well written structure of avatar is that the “villains” escalate from season to season, going from Zuko to Azula to Ozai as the main antagonists. I’d rather they had kept that structure and given more time to better plot and character development.

Plus revealing him so early took away a lot of his intimidation factor for me. Mystery and intrigue is good you guys! You don’t always have to lay all your cards on the table right away.

And at the end when Ozai more or less says that the attack on the Northern Water Tribe was a distraction to take Omashu makes zero sense to me. Not only is it an arbitrary copy of what Sozin said in the beginning about attacking the Earth Kingdom as a distraction for killing all of the air benders (which is also stupid), but thematically and structurally it doesn’t make any sense. The timeline doesn’t add up at all, not that they gave us any indications of timeline. And at this point in the war, the different nations, tribes, and kingdoms are so segregated that the Water Tribe probably wouldn’t have gone to help Omashu in the first place, certainly not in time.

Also I refuse to ignore the blatant contradiction they put in Zuko’s scar story. Zuko is punished extremely severely for INDIRECTLY insulting Ozai, when he’d literally been asked what he thought of the war plans, but when Iroh DIRECTLY questioned Ozai in front of the entire court and spectators (interrupting the Agni Kai, a sacred type of battle in the Fire Nation), there’s no punishment at all. I really don’t understand what the writers are doing with the amount of contradictions.

Roku

Botched, I hated what they did to Roku.

Trying to make him funny? That, right away, ruined his character entirely. I won’t ever be able to take him seriously. He would never make jokes when Aang is desperately looking for guidance and understanding. He’s not a funny silly character, it’s like the writers forgot to add in some levity and chose literally the worst character to force humor onto.

Roku is one of the coolest and wisest characters in the series with some of the most badass scenes and they took away all of them. The future of his portrayal does not look bright.

Kyoshi

Now, I love Kyoshi as much as the next person, but she got way too much screen time.

Not only did they give Roku’s badass possession moment in the Fire Nation Temple to her for absolutely no reason on Kyoshi Island, but they made her the leading influence of Aang’s spiritual journey (he’s constantly trying to reconcile with the advice she gave him) which makes zero sense.

The hundred year war is the consequence of Roku’s legacy and mistakes, it has literally nothing to do with Kyoshi. Roku should be the one mentoring Aang spiritually and guiding him through the remnants of his choices as the Avatar.

Giving her weird future vision for the attack on the North Pole was really weird and made no sense to me, and completely shifted Aang’s motivations from learning water bending (which he never does even once) to warning the Northern Water Tribe, which they end up not even needing him to do because they’re already prepared to fight. Just a convoluted mess narratively.

She isn’t supposed to be that agro of a character, she’s pragmatic and diplomatic. They based her off the memes far more than her source material and it shows.

Making Kyoshi so much more prominent feels like such an insincere thing to do for the sake of “girl boss strong female characters hoorah” that ultimately hurts the writing.

Kuruk

I don’t really know why they decided to give Kuruk so much screen time when it should have been given to Roku or any other character for some development, but I would say it was a decent portrayal. Just an unnecessary one.

They actually used book material for him, which is surprising given the changes they made, but it was specifically for the “spirit killing knife” which was stupid and no one can convince me otherwise.

Having spiritual conversations with so many of the past Avatar’s this early on feels like they’re going to be removing, or at least drastically changing, the Lion Turtle scene in the finale which has me very concerned.

Egregious and Potentially Detrimental Changes from the Original

Removing Jeong Jeong and Aang’s First Experience with Fire Bending

Aang’s terror of fire after hurting Katara when he got too confident is vital for his development. It’s the main reason he eventually accepts Zuko as his fire bending teacher because they both struggle with having hurt people and wanting to fix their mistakes.

This was also supposed to be Katara’s first use of healing, which again I think is something really important for us to actually see she can do. Because all they’ve said is she’s “a natural” just like everything else and that’s such bad storytelling.

Jeong Jeong is a member of the White Lotus and a really important factor in Iroh’s endeavor to take back Ba Sing Se in the finale. Could they do it without him? I guess, but it’s really disrespectful to me to just not include him.

Taking him out will affect plots all the way in season 3.

Not only that, but Jeong Jeong is a valuable example of someone born on the wrong side of the war wanting to make a difference and change his ways. It’s realistic nuance for war!

What Seeing Wan Shi Tong in the Spirit World Means to Me, the Implications for the Library, and Consequences

Wan Shi Tong, similar to Tui and La (the moon and ocean spirits), came to the physical world with the express purpose of bettering humanity. He made the personal sacrifice of staying away from the spirit world so that the human race would have access to his vast and wonderful knowledge. He couldn’t go back and forth between the physical world and the spirit world because he had to be there to keep the Library standing in the physical world in the first place, it can’t stay there without him. The fact that he’s in the spirit world, to me, means that the library may not be in the physical world at all.

Other indications that his library isn’t in the physical world are that Zhao didn’t get his knowledge of Tui and La from the library, he got it from ancient Fire Nation scrolls and records instead (which doesn’t make a lot of sense), and the sun dial that Sokka would have used to discover the solar eclipse and begin the plan for the invasion is now located in the Fire Nation instead. How is Sokka going to learn about the Day of Black Sun now for the invasion? (There’s a lot of setup for the invasion that they’ve screwed up and I’ll talk about it more in a couple other sections).

So assuming we’re no longer going to have the library, there’s a lot of follow-up implications and consequences. This means that we won’t have Appa’s kidnapping which causes a few problems.

One, Appa’s kidnapping directly leads to Jet’s death, the only major on screen death (or injury that leads to death) in the entire show. I guess you could also count Combustion Man, but Jet’s was infinitely more emotional and important to the story.

Two, Appa’s kidnapping and subsequent rescue is vital for proving to the Earth King that Long Feng is a traitor and the Dai Lee has been compromised. This leads to the Earth King trusting Team Avatar’s word implicitly about the Kyoshi Warriors which allows Azula to infiltrate, learn about the invasion plans, capture Katara, and ultimately “kill” Aang at the end of Book 2. Can the writers work around this? Probably. Do I trust them to? No.

Three, protecting Appa is how the Kyoshi Warriors get overpowered by Azula in the first place and Azula is able to infiltrate the Earth Kingdom in disguise. It’s how Suki is captured and ends up at The Boiling Rock prison.

Four, Zuko being the one to let Appa go is a massive character moment as he struggles to let go of the burdens that Ozai pushed onto him to capture the avatar at all cost to others and himself. It leads to his “metamorphosis” as Iroh calls it, leads to him giving up the Blue Spirit identity, and is what makes his later betrayal so painful. Plus, Appa likes him now which is a stepping stone later for Aang to trust him when Zuko wants to switch sides.

And five, Appa’s brief stop with the guru as he’s trying to get back to Aang leads to how Aang gets any instruction on controlling the avatar state. Which also leads to his “death” at the end of Book 2 when he tries to reopen his chakras like he was taught during the fight with Azula. Again, do I think there’s a workaround here? Yeah, but I don’t think they’ll do it well.

Where’s Haru and What it Means for the Future

Removing the “Imprisoned” storyline takes away Katara’s first and one of her most important moments of being an inspirational leader, learning how to speak up for others, and how to make connections with people outside her culture. But they’ve already stripped Katara of so much of her depth, I’m not surprised they took it out.

The more important issue is that Haru, his father, and their people (all Earth Benders) that she helped rescue were very prominent foot soldiers for the invasion in Book 3. Where are they going to get alliances to build an army against the Fire Nation now? My bet is either they won’t, which is concerning for many reasons, or it’ll happen between seasons off screen which is a massive writing problem! Vital events and plot points happening off screen shows extremely poor planning.

Indications of Removing the Swamp and More Poor Planning for the Invasion (are they cutting it out?)

I’ve pretty much convinced myself that the writers are cutting the invasion out of the plot. I’ve listed many reasons above why I think that’s the direction they’re going, but the last straw was when Sokka and Katara were in the spirit world.

I’m almost 100% sure they’re getting rid of “the Swamp”.

When Sokka and Katara are in the spirit world, they are confronted by their worst memories and most difficult emotional obstacles the same way they had been in the original when they were in the swamp. It wouldn’t make any sense to do that again, so they’re probably getting rid of the swamp entirely.

Which means Team Avatar will never encounter the Swamp Water Benders, which then means they lose even more foot soldiers and allies for the invasion. That’s two major allies that just won’t be involved. Between the potential changes to the Library, the lack of allies, and the fact that Hakoda has no trust in Sokka as a warrior, I don’t see how they’re going to realistically be able to do the invasion. If they do, I’ll be shocked and skeptical of how they manage it.

And as another personal pet peeve, taking out the swamp also removes another facet of water bending, being able to control plants by the water in them (which additionally leads into blood bending).

Other Changes That Really Bothered Me

Exposing the Genocide of Aang’s People and the Comet in Episode One

While I did appreciate (to a degree) getting to see the attack on the air benders and how the fall of the Air Nomads happened, I really don’t like that it’s the first thing we see. Like I mentioned earlier, it’s okay and often more beneficial not to reveal everything right away! I much preferred getting bits and pieces as we went along to put together the whole puzzle and have the time to process each new facet of the war. Giving it to us all at once and as the first thing we see takes away so much intricate story telling.

I really didn’t like that all of the air nomads were in the same place for the attack, that’s so unrealistic that they had to create an arbitrary festival to make it happen.

Originally, the Fire Nation attacks all four Air Temples with the power of the comet to back them up for the initial attack. It shouldn’t take one night where they’re all conveniently in the same place (except Aang) and kill them all, it should take one night to deal them such a severe blow that finishing them off over the next few years is easy. Because of course some would get away and were hunted down, that’s how war realistically works.

Removing Aang’s Crush on Katara and What it Means

Oooooh this bothers me for so many reasons, but I’ll try not to be too crazy about it.

I don’t know why they got rid of it completely, unless they’re just waiting until Aang and the actor are a little older for it to be more appropriate. But with what they did with the “Cave of Two Lovers”, I think they’re scrapping the love between Aang and Katara entirely.

Which they haven’t done anything to help them bond at all as friends in the first place except like two moments of bending instructions from Aang and a lot of dialogue about how they’re family. Aang and Sokka have had way more bonding moments together, I can believe they’re friends at least.

One of the biggest issues will be, if they somehow manage to trick Netflix into letting them adapt Korra as well, Aang and Katara’s kids and grandkids are fundamental to the plot there. But that’s getting way ahead of ourselves, let’s just focus on ATLA.

Aang’s feelings for Katara are very important, particularly for being the sole reason he stops trying to master the avatar state, only to attempt it again later to protect her, and then he ends up “dead” for it. He admits to loving her out right in those episodes.

The thing about Avatar is almost every detail is valuable in some way and dominos into a larger plot point. Their love for each other isn’t a major focal point of the show but it does matter, I just really hope they’re not planning on changing love interests.

Moving Anything from Other Seasons into Season One

I’m not going to spend a lot of time on this, but bringing anything from other seasons into season one when you already have such limited time is really irritating because that time would have been better spent on actual character development or including more vital points from season one.

Changing Lore

Aang accidentally bringing both Sokka and Katara into the spirit world with him just because they were in close proximity is ridiculous. He shouldn’t be able to do that. It makes much more sense that they’d be stolen by Hei Bai than piggybacking off Aang when neither of them are spiritually inclined.

Making Avatar shrines the only way for Aang to access his previous avatar is so limiting and irritating, he gets better at it as he becomes more spiritually connected to the avatar state (like in the ocean during the first episode of Book 3 when Aang contacts Roku, or on the Lion Turtle when Aang contacts four past Avatars). Also they completely contradict this rule letter in the season when Aang sees Avatar Kuruk for a few seconds just outside in the Northern Water Tribe. Like they specifically said it, and then completely contradicts themselves, that’s a pretty big consistency error when it’s a change they made.

They removed any significances of the solstices. Once again, giving us no timeline or indication of time passing in the world.

The reason Roku is able to control Aang’s body and powers as much as he can in the Fire Nation Temple is because of the winter solstice when the veil between spirit and physical world is thinnest. But now any Avatar can do it as long as Aang connects with them at their shrine. Kyoshi should not have been to do that to him and it replaced Roku’s very profound moment at the temple.

I don’t like that they said Tui and La are only in physical form one night a year (I think that’s what Zhao said, or something about an ice moon, whatever), and then that night just happened to be near. I can’t think of a single reason why they would make that change. There’s just too many convenient coincidences happening in this version of the story. Tui and La specifically gave up their spiritual forms for vulnerable physical forms for a reason, learn the lore!

The special spirit killing knife was stupid. I don’t know if it’s in the novels and I missed it or if the writers (more likely) came up with it, but it’s seems like really convenient and silly lore that actively contradicts a lot of what was originally set up about the spirits. And added a lot of unnecessary exposition that didn’t even tell us how Zhao got it.

In another similar vein, the MacGuffin of the statue of the many faces goddess spirit that Aang took from Roku’s artifacts to save Katara and Sokka from Kho was just so weird to me. He just eats people now? What happened to him stealing faces if you show an emotion? That was what made him so terrifying, and it was just another moment they stole from Aang and showcasing his potential. It wasn’t his negotiation skills or his self control that saved his friends, but a very convenient object just sitting on a shelf waiting for him.

None of their lore changes made sense or had a purpose to me other than to arbitrarily be different from the source material.

Mature ≠ Graphic

The writers said repeatedly in interviews and articles that they wanted this live action adaptation to essentially be a more mature version. They even likened their vision to be something similar enough to appeal to Game of Thrones fans, which to me was a massive red flag going into the show. Please, do not mix up maturity and graphic violence.

The only thing more “mature” about the live action is that we actually see people being burned alive and killed throughout the season. The original has far more mature writing because of how delicately and intricately it handles very serious concepts. The Netflix writers either do not trust audiences to pick up on subtle and complex ideas, do not trust the actors to portray subtle and complex ideas, or they do not know how to write subtle and complex ideas. Or some combination of the three. Everything is exposition, which I’ve said so many times before, but I will keep saying it until they learn not shove plot right in our faces with no nuance.

The writers simply think they’ve created something more mature because it’s sometimes violent and not a cartoon, which isn’t how that works.

It’s not mature, it’s graphic. Know the difference and you’ll be a better writer for it!

Humor

Yes the humor in the original leans a little more childish, but you don’t solve that by stripping the humor entirely in the adaptation! Almost any attempt at humor, to me, felt like an after thought and was mostly misplaced in a scene (like with Roku, I’ll never get over that). Just overall lost a lot of the whimsy. I understand that animation lends itself to way more expressive, cartoonish, and childish humor, but there’s plenty of funny live-action films and shows. Why did it have to take such a back seat? Again, that’s not a sign of maturity, it’s a sign of a very surface level understanding of how writing works and of what the original ATLA had to offer.

What Was The Point and What Could They Have Done Instead (imo)?

Being brutally honest here, I really don’t think there was any point to making this live action adaptation, especially with the limitations they put on themselves. I think it was, overall, a waste of money and resources. In theory, it was really exciting to have the opportunity to see the world come to life. And in a lot of ways I think they accomplished that between the location designs, costumes, respectful and accurate casting, and environments. I just think that was their main focus, making it look right, that the writing took an unfortunate back seat that made the whole show suffer.

There are two directions I think they could have taken instead.

One, I think they should have planned for six seasons. Every book of the original has a roughly mid season event that could act as really solid season finales. They would be able to stretch out the story and not compress or rush their writing so much. It would be structured more like this:

Season 1 Finale - The Winter Solstice and Discovery of Sozin’s Comet

Season 2 Finale - The Siege of the North

Season 3 Finale - Getting to Ba Sing Se and The Drill

Season 4 Finale - Aang’s “Death”

Season 5 Finale - The Day of Black Sun Invasion

Season 6 Finale - Sozin’s Comet and Confronting the Fire Lord

I understand that doing this doubles the length, and subsequently the cost of the show, which is a big ask. But I also think if they don’t have the resources to do it right in the first place, then they shouldn’t have done it at all. Is it better than the 2010 version we got from Shyamalan? Of course, but please allow yourself to have higher standards than literally scraping by the bottom of the barrel of quality.

I don’t expect anyone to have as in depth opinions or critiques as me, and I don’t begrudge anyone for enjoying the show or even liking some of the changes! But I will say that we all, no matter how critical a viewer you are, deserve better than mediocre quality.

The second direction I think they could have taken, and I really think they should have, is to write something completely original within the world setting of Avatar. There are quite literally dozens of avatars that existed before Aang that have no story yet! They had an opportunity to write some original that actually fits into the 8 episode limit they had while also further expanding on the history and world we all love so much.

I just think the audience, that mostly consists of fans of the original, would have been far more accepting and open to an original story rather than a middling attempt at retelling a story that’s already so beloved.

If you made it this far, I am extremely impressed and also worried for your health! This was mostly me needing to get all of these thoughts and critiques out of my head without ranting to friends and family that have no idea what I’m talking about and would get annoyed.

Anyway, that is my very extensive review that nobody asked for! If you need clarification or further analysis on anything I said, or if there’s something I missed that’s a critique for you on the live action, or if there’s anything you disagree with that I’ve said, please let me know in the comments below! But be nice, I will block anyone being mean about people opinions or thoughts. This is an open friendly space, I won’t tolerate bullying.

Thank you for probably far too much of your time!

#avatar the last airbender #atla #netflix #netflix avatar #avatar live action #my review #please don’t be mean to me if you disagree #I know this is obnoxiously long but no one is forcing you to read it

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charmixpower · 2 years

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🌊 Aish hairstyles 🌊

Literally oh my fucking god the designers can't think of more than three fucking hairstyles for Aisha, if I never see her with twin puffs again it will be too soon. Put her in a unique fucking hairstyle you assholes. This anger at the complete lack of interesting hair for Aisha is what sparked me to do this series in the first place. Just so I can show how fucking cool her hair could be if they weren't fucking cowards about it. Unsurprisingly this one took me the longest, with all the braids I had to line and color (tho it didn't take as much time as expected), but it was a lot of fun to do. I was easily the most excited to this one for obvious reasons. She looks great. I went a little ham on the gold jewelry but Aisha deserves it ok?? Her hairstyles in the show are so dull, she needs some fun

Side note, Aisha has the second longest hair out of the Winx, longest naturally, but it isn't visible due to how coily Aisha's hair is. My hair goes from barely toucing my shoulders to below my sternum, and my hair is curly as where I draw it Aisha's the 4 range. So yeah, her hair gets like at least 6 inches when straighten, going all the way to her butt. I also challenged myself to style her edges differently with every drawing djsjs which you can probably tell

Anyways on to the individual styles

Classic Aisha: this is the hairstyle I've started to usually draw Aisha in. Sporty and practical meet fun and feminine! I also gave her a nose piercing bc she, Musa, and Tecna have the vibes, and to fit the slight vibe of Andros. Aisha's hair in canon usually looks like it's on the low side of curly, and the reason why is made p clear by the miss magix ep and s8/WOW, so I decided to give her tight coily hair. Btw yeah that's her s2 camping outfit

Twists Aisha: this was my first foray into drawing this hairstyle, I usually draw dreads and box braids in this area, so it doesn't look super good but hey I tried jdnsjs. I wanted to stylized them so I'd didn't spend years trying to finish them, and you can visibly see me give up on that with the next drawing, but I think if I were doing a comic or quick doodles this is what I would go with. Anyways, I did this one because it really makes me think of Aisha athletic nature. Idk they just look super athletic to me, and I gave her a little extra ponytail for the fashion of it. Sporty chic

Mermaid-y: When I first drew these braids with the flat bottoms, they kinda looked like Mermaid tails to me?? So my brain was like, Aisha in her mermaid era <33. So my heart is set on her having this hair during s5, mermaid season, mermaid hair. It's literally perfect. Also I thought this top was super cute. This is where I really went overboard with the gold, but she's in her mermaid era, princess, guardian fairy, and dame. She can have a little (lottle) gold, as a treat. She deserves it, she's been though a lot lately with her family and Nabu being in a COMA. Some fun hair is good for the soul

Date night: light rage. They put Aisha's hair into pigtails for every causal event that happens and it inches across my last nerve like you wouldn't believe. Much like how that uniform outfit ruined one of Musa's hairstyles, pigtails feel ruined for Aisha, but making the. Apart of a braid really lessoned the blow. Half of me wishes I did a head wrap instead, but I can't just not include them. The outfit is super cute tho. She's going on a date!!! Yess!!! So pretty. I'm so happy with her earrings and dress. She and Nabu are gonna go have a picnic together, it's gonna be great

Box braids: I just got my braids taken out this Friday, which was fun (it hurt a lot, especially taking the small ones out ;-;) and I think it's a really good hairstyle for Aisha. I used to think that they'd be super impractical due to being so long, but because they're so heavy they're not actually annoying to deal with at all. They don't move all that much and they don't really get in the way. These would work perfectly for Aisha. Giving her the long hair, and the practicality. Absolute win! Of course I had to go for her outfit from her date with Musa. These kinds of braids always make me think someone has an important event coming up or they're trying to look cute, and a first date is a perfect occasion. I had so much fun with the earrings and braid decorations

Work out: I wanted to go for something simple, less fancy, and that doesn't require braiding, for of her hairstyles to just like her hair be itself and vibe. Here it is in a classic half up half down look, completely unbraided and vibing. Outfit slightly inspired by Serena Williams's entire aesthetic, including the headband. I didn't wanna put her hair over her shoulders, which admittedly looks a little weird but I wanted the high low part to be clear fjsjdnd

Poodle puffs: Personally I think Poodle puffs are really hard to styles, because it's hard to get the size of the puffs right without going too far in either direction. I think I got it right here? I think four is a good number of puffs. This is probably one of my favorite looks, mostly because of how warm and royal it looks. I'm a sucker for shiney jewelry and warm colors. I think this one came out especially well, I love the earrings, and the dress looks really good! I was worried it was gonna look silly but thankfully it doesn't

Bantu knots: She just looks gorgeous here. It adds so much to her orginal red carpet energy. Her hair is now all done up and fancy. Her nose ring also adds to the energy. I really like the earring, despite how lopsided it is lol, but I do wonder if it was a little too much for such a elegant outfit? Idk. Either way I didn't do anything to this look because I love it and she looks amazing. Not thoughts, head empty, bantu knots pretty

Princess Aisha: Hehe this one is probably my favorite out of all the hair. Not the outfit top XD. I don't like poofy European dresses rip. I got to go as fancy as I want!! I feel like Aisha usually tries to stay away from super fancy and complicated one event only hairstyles (which is why she usually goes for protective hairstyles she can wear for a while with low maintenance before needing to change it), but she's making a formal appreances, which means I can loop a gem into her hair. I also got to put big gems on her outfit and earrings which was super fun. This perticualr hairstyle always looked super royal to me and I had to include some proper beads on the look too. They match the gem she's wearing. Extra royal look. Her headgear as a child did something similar, but now that she's older she can just get proper braids put that do what the head gear was doing but better. Also can you tell that I was worried about getting too close to the edge of the page XD

#winx aisha #winx layla #winx fanart #winx headcanons #winx redesign #rus doodles #rus chatters

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sundslime · 11 months

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Another Object Comic Blog 2

Back at it again with another name change! This one’s probably the last one for a bit though.

A good amount of progress has been made on the idea of the comic since my last post in March. That is, I hunkered down with some buds and actually made a kind of rigid outline of how I want the plot to be structured. A good amount of ideas were leftovers from Exclusion Delusion but more fleshed out with a cleaner idea for a possible ending in mind, which makes me happy! Every time I’ve taken a stab at a comic like this I usually drop the idea because I don’t know how I’d end it, so having that in mind has been reassuring.

Here’s a mostly redacted look at the outline of the story, mostly for the sake of keeping things a surprise! Who doesn’t like a good surprise? I will leave a synopsis of the beginning of the story though, so here! Objects of many different locations live on a planet with only them and are all aware of/ friends with each other. Ornament is the main character of the story, who on their (TBD)th birthday travel around the world in search of artifacts warning of an impending doom. After a year, the end of the world takes the form of a competition in which each challenge takes place on a different planet.

Unlike the plot, the biggest point of contention has been the actual characters to appear in the comic! Truth is, there’s been dozens of characters that have had the possibility of appearing in the comic. Some as main characters, and others as more comic relief side characters. Sizing down the original fifty plus characters has been no easy task, and I’ve joined a bunch of calls with some buds trying to decide which characters should stay or go has been a struggle. I’ll probably come to this decision on my own since these are my characters and only my most cherished of children will make it in..

The spreadsheet above was originally where I listed out all of my ocs and we went through them all and talked about how which characters could act and little quirks they could have. I’d be a liar if I said it didn’t help give me an idea on the characters I FOR SURE wanted in.

Ornament’s a character I’ve wanted in the comic since day one, they’re GUARUNTEED to be a main character. I used them in this enviornment as a test of how I’d draw backgrounds in the comic.

As another small experiment, I tried to go back to my last comic Sunburn and redraw it with the skills I have now in a style I might’ve liked back then, I’m pretty happy with how it came out!

Below is another character with a similar style. She’s also guaranteed for the comic, her name’s Inkwell!

More onto the look of the comic...

I’ve also been messing around with a potential style for the comic. It’s another one of those things that I’ve been putting a lot of thought into, but at the end of the day I think I have a good idea for what I want to do.

My biggest inspirations for this comic have always been my favorite object shows (ONE, Battle for Dream Island Again) and their saturated colors and simple designs, and Homestuck and the many many MSPFAS out there (Vast Error, A Guy Gets Revenge). Drawing objects in this style consistently has been a bit of a struggle, but I’ve found myself gravitating towards big and round hands, and tiny lil’ feet.

I don’t know if I’ll lean as heavy with the gradients and blurs though, since they’ve given me mixed results. I think I like the look of them when minimally used so I’ll probably stick to that.

Another art related thing I heavily debated on using was sprites. At first, I wanted to completely opt out of using any sprites for the sake of simplicity, but with the help of some really nice people I not only re-sprited old characters, but decided that I might go with this sprite style for the new characters. They’re so silly that it’s been hard for me to say no!

Another thing I want to note before ending this post is that just like all of my other comics, I do not mean for this to be the job of a crew where I’m only a writer.

This is my comic, and something I’ve wanted to make. Chances are that just like Sunburn, I’ll be writing a large part of the comic and drawing a large chunk of the panels. I wanna carry the weight of this because its my story!!! With that being said, anyone’s welcome to help! If you’re interested, feel free to DM me on Discord @sundSlime#2003.

TLDR?

Progress on the comic has been underway, but there’s a lot of stuff left to iron out. Hope you guys like what I have so far! Have a good day :)

#osc #object show community #object show comic #mspfanventures #mspfa #another object comic

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choi-hae · 1 year

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Kenny’s Top Music of 2022

Hi hello, it’s that time of year again. This year was full of an insane amount of great music. As always, I try to listen to as much as possible to get the fullest experience in my music journey. I know I can’t possible listen to everything, but I always do my best.

This year’s music review is pretty crazy. These lists are much more extensive and specific as opposed to last year’s. More categories, more artists, more to consider in terms of what my most favourites of the year truly are. I had to be more detailed on my list categories so that I could include as much as possible. It wasn’t easy to make, that’s for sure. I also included short reasons to why each decision was made (some serious, some unserious).

I have a couple rules I put onto myself in terms of my choices. Please take note of those before reading further. Thank you in advance for reading my lists!

RULES:

1. If an album was chosen for top album (group or solo), I tried to choose a different title from a different album OR a completely different artist all together for top title track (group or solo) to showcase as much variety as possible (and to challenge myself). If an album was chosen, it can be assumed I love all, if not most, of the songs on that album anyway. 2. Top b sides are okay to chosen from top albums, as it only makes sense, and there can be multiple from a single artist but only ONE SONG per album. 3. None of these lists are in any particular order. It’s hard enough to choose top of anything, let alone put them into a numbered order.

And with that, here are my top music of 2022!

Top 6 group albums of the year:

The World EP.1: Movement - ATEEZ

This album is cinematic. When music makes me visualize so clearly, it’s a winner. I knew it was album of the year from the moment the last song ended.

Maxident - Stray Kids

Overall a cohesive album. Lots of vibes that I personally enjoy a lot and possibly the best unit tracks these boys have released (fight me on it, I dare you).

Harmony: Set In - P1Harmony

They put out three albums this year and each one was an A+. I chose this one for the list because it might be my favourite title and assortment of b sides from them so far.

Shape of Love - Monsta X

Their only album this year but every song is laced with drugs, as many of their songs are. I believe they always manage to produce the most quality tracks.

Reborn - PIXY

This album was a hit. The title is so groovy and replayable, the b sides are incredible. It’s a different vibe for them but suits them so well.

RE: - KARD

This is mostly here because I was looking forward to this comeback more than anything. J.Seph’s return came at the perfect time and they dropped a great summer album.

Top 6 solo albums of the year:

WHEE - Wheein

One of my favourite vocalists. Everything about her music is incredible to me. It’s the perfect calming vibe for relaxing and it makes me happy.

The Story - Kang Daniel

The title track is definitely a favourite from him, but also the b sides are phenomenal. Not to mention the amount of fantastic collabs. Great album all around.

28 Reasons - Seulgi

Another favourite vocalist. The fact that the entire album is so perfectly her while being something very different and new. Every song is a hit.

IM NAYEON - Nayeon

Another album that is so perfect for the artist. I expected nothing less and I still got more, with the fun title, great b sides, and perfect collab songs.

Bare&Rare, Pt.1 - Chungha

I really do love every song on this album. She’s got this incredible ability to embody so many different styles of music and make it her own. I can’t wait for Pt. 2.

Colorful Trauma - Woodz

I love that punk rock/pop punk is finding its place in Kpop. He did such a great job at creating songs that are easy to listen to with this particular sound.

Top 6 hip-hop/R&B albums of the year:

Moodswings In To Order - DPR IAN

Another album that feels cinematic, but in certain places. He makes you see and feel what he wants you to. An incredible storyteller throughout the entire project.

Lowlife Princess: Noir - BIBI

Talk about an album that makes me feel like a bad bitch with every single track. This is the energy I needed. Every song is its own story and each one is just as compelling.

Blanc - Junny

I’m really happy he released a mini after so long. The entire vibe of the album is perfect. His vocals are beautiful as always, not to mention the A+ collab songs.

One Bad Night - Jamie

Another album I was very happy to see come out. She’s worked so hard and it’s clearly paid off. She did great for her first mini; every song is a banger. I feel proud.

Love or Loved, Pt.1 - B.I

Immaculate vibes. I don’t need to say much more. The whole album is my style to a T.

Nangman - Big Naughty

In my opinion, the king of K-R&B/K-Hip Hop. Every song on the album is a hit in its own way. The man just knows how to make good music.

Top 6 girl group title tracks:

Shut Down - Blackpink

As someone who loves rap heavy songs and the incorporation of classical music elements in interesting ways, this track was made for me. The MV is one of my favourites too.

Birthday - Red Velvet

Once again, an incorporation of classical sounding elements but with a more bubbly and fun feel to it, plus their impeccable vocals. It’s a hit.

Talk That Talk - Twice

I don’t know what it is about this song, but it hits. It’s upbeat with a retro feel that suits them perfectly. I really fell for this song over time.

Antifragile - LE SSERAFIM

I didn’t think I would like this song at first but it’s just hella catchy. It solidified these girls as a favourite rookie group. The choreography is an A+ as well.

Nxde - (G)I-DLE

Some slight classical elements here but in more of the burlesque style (which I adore). The messaging behind the song is also fantastic.

Cheshire - ITZY

This one snuck up on me. I didn’t expect to love it as much as I do. I’m in love with the playful nature of the track and it’s just incredibly catchy.

Top 6 boy group title tracks:

Maniac - Stray Kids

Something so different but so them. The MV is also one of my favourites between the camera work and the editing. They did great with this one.

Do It Like This - P1Harmony

This song started off the year with a bang, and I could never forget it. It set them off for an incredible year.

NANANA - GOT7

One of my happy songs for the year. When the chorus comes up, it’s hard to not feel light and uplifted. It’s nice to see them together again.

#MOOD - MCND

The MV really elevated this one for me. These guys always have the most fun comebacks and it was hard to forget this one when it came out.

Same Scent - ONEUS

The dancehall sound is so my style that it was hard for me to ignore this one. It’s a pretty different sound for them but they pulled it off well.

But You - IKON

The retro vibes are immaculate. It suits them as a group so well. It was also nice to see them release as a group again after quite some time.

Top 6 solo title tracks:

Youth - Kihyun

The top anthem for anyone in their 20’s. The happy nature of the track but bittersweet feel of the lyrics really hit hard for me. I feel this one on an emotional level.

Back In Vogue - Alexa

I love this concept for her. I think this was a great comeback for her after such a great year of achievements.

Honey - Solar

This was an incredible solo for her. A step above from her previous one because I felt it really showed so many different sides of her. Plus it’s insanely catchy.

Zoom - Jessi

A fun song that deserved to go viral (and it did), plus the MV was really great. What a queen.

No Thanks - Hyolyn

Another queen, another banger. Unbelievable catchy and makes me feel like a bad bitch. I don’t need much more than that tbh.

Boom - Lee Minhyuk (Huta)

Probably one of the most powerful songs of the year. There’s not much more to say. He’s amazing.

Top 6 band comebacks of the year:

Haircut - Xdinary Heroes

This song is so unique and I think it does a great job of setting these guys apart from not just other bands, but Kpop music in general. Some don’t like the anti drop. I dig it.

NAZABABARA - Rolling Quartz

Just a happy and uplifting track with the vocals but also the way the guitar is used throughout. It feels very different and I like it.

Childhood - The Rose

I cried. Similar to Kihyun’s Youth, it makes me emotional but in a more melancholic way (which is not a bad thing). It’s just beautiful.

Still Here - ONEWE

Another emotional one. Mostly because they’ll be gone for a while and it’s very sad, but also because it’s a beautiful song as a whole.

I Like You - N.Flying

Another happy song. The upbeat bubbliness just makes me happy. That’s all.

Play - LUCY

Another emotional one but much similar feeling to Kihyun’s Youth. The MV is also very touching and beautiful.

Top 6 boy group b sides:

Chill - Stray Kids

The sound of this song is very my style so I fell for it pretty immediately, but after reading the lyrics as well, I really connected with the sentiment and it’s become a favourite.

Ghost - Xdinary Heroes

I’m really in love with the creepy vibe and their vocals are very perfect on this track. It’s a very well rounded song.

Venom - Stray Kids

When I first heard the preview for this song, I knew that it was going to be special. Everything is perfect to me: from the sounds, to the melodies, to the rap. Everything.

사랑한다 - Monsta X

Definitely a happy song. It’s literally a serotonin shot through my veins. It’s a breathe of fresh air. It’s beautiful.

WDIG - ATEEZ

Of all the songs on the album, this one hits different. Something about the way the chorus drops makes my brain happy.

One And Only - P1Harmony

A recent fav but still a good one. It’s bouncing but melodic. It hits a lot of happy parts of my brain. I can’t not put in on the list.

Top 6(+1) girl group b sides:

On A Ride - Red Velvet

Something about this song reminds me of the past and I like it. Plus when that chorus drops, how can you not go wild?

Tally - Blackpink

I like how stripped back it is, and the message is fun. Serious “fuck it” energy.

Basics - Twice

“Slow it down and speed it up like you a spaceship.” Need I say more?

Can’t stop dreamin’ - Purple Kiss

A very dreamy song with a hint of light EDM. I swear the vocals are perfect on this one.

Breath - PIXY

Another dreamy b side but in a more haunting way. PIXY and Purple Kiss b sides from both their recent albums sit at the same table and I’d like to sit with them please.

In My Dreams - Red Velvet

Would you look at that! Another dreamy b side, but with the Red Velvet flare. The harmonies are what really sell this one for me.

COOL (Your rainbow) - NMIXX

Some classical elements with a calming beat behind it; the most relaxing vibe for me. Also, A+ vocals all around. These girls are talented.

Top 6 male solo/hip-hop/R&B b sides:

Mood - DPR IAN

When I first heard this song, I knew it’d be my favourite on the album. It’s playful but haunting. The way he uses effects and sounds throughout. It’s also just a bop.

Tangerine - B.I

For me, this song sits at a similar table to Sunshine by Stray Kids, and if you know me, you know that means something. I feel safe and comforted by this song.

Dopamine - Jackson Wang

I really love the lyrics in this one. It paints a scene for me that is so self indulgent but beautiful at the same time. Also, Jackson vocals = *chef’s kiss*

Zombies - pH-1

It makes me happy. The vibe of the track is so fun and bouncing. What more can I say?

Freak - ZICO

This song is simply crazy good. It’s fun, it’s loud, and the dance challenge was really fun to watch (the choreography was pretty fire).

How We Live - Kang Daniel feat. sokodomo

Another happy song. It makes me smile. The piano is fun, sokodomo’s feature is great, and Daniel is a king.

Top 6 female solo/hip-hop/R&B b sides:

Anywhere but Home - Seulgi

It’s a perfect driving song; I can easily visualize driving down a highway at night, the street lamps passing by. She got the vibe perfect.

Blade - BIBI

It was hard choosing a favourite from her album, but I think it’s this one. Something about the sound hits just right for me.

Love Countdown - Nayeon feat. Wonstein

This was on repeat for a while there. It’s fun, it’s cute, it’s bouncy, and Wonstein’s feature is perfect. I never expected to love this song as much as I do.

XXX - Chungha

I love a song that makes me feel like a bad bitch, I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again. This is that song. It’s powerful and it’s got those deep 808s that I love as well.

Pastel - Wheein

Another fun, cute song that I fell for quickly. It’s also very stripped back and lets her vocals really float.

In My Bag - Jamie

Another bad bitch song. She is queen bad bitch so it makes sense. More deep 808s and her flow is too clean.

Top 6 collabs:

Somebody! - Hwasa & Loco

This track is simply perfect for their voices, and their voices are perfect together. It creates the calming but uplifting atmosphere I crave.

Better - Solar/Moonbyul & Big Naughty

A very unexpected collab but an incredible one. Similar to the one above, it’s just the perfect vibe for me and the vocals are fantastic.

Nirvana Girl - Sorn & Yeeun

It’s amazing seeing them on a track together again. The song itself is incredibly uplifting and inspiring.

Juliette! - pH-1 & UMI

I love the stripped back nature of the track, allowing the rap and vocals to flow so nicely. Another one that is just the perfect vibe.

Side Effects - Woosung & Satica

A definite favourite from his album. Their voices match so well, even if her part is short.

BTBT - B.I & DeVita

Another unexpected collab but their voices are incredible together. They match the track so well (the version with Soulja Boy doesn’t exist in my mind).

Top 6 rookies:

IVE

They’ve only released bangers and bops since they debuted. Since Eleven, they’ve been a top rookie for me.

LE SSERAFIM

A new rookie favourite for me. Antifragile really shot them into my vision, and their performance skills are incredible.

PIXY

They’ve been on my radar since debut but their comeback this year really elevated them for me. Villain was a great title and all the b sides are phenomenal.

NewJeans

Despite controversy regarding their company, the girls themselves are hella talented at their young ages. The vibe of their music is so easily digestible, it’s hard to ignore.

Although not technically a Kpop group, I’ve been in love with them since pre-debut and I feel the need to mention them. They’re going to go far with their talents.

TNX

Their debut blew me away. So incredibly powerful, the performance skills are insane. They’re on my radar and I can’t wait for more.

Top 6 groups/artists I look forward to/will be keeping an eye out for in 2023:

P1Harmony

As I stated above, these guys released three albums this year and everything was a hit. I believe they’ll go far in this next year and do even more amazing things.

Xdinary Heroes

They’ve really cultivated their own sound, especially with this recent comeback (the album was fantastic). I really can’t wait to see what else they’re capable of and where they go.

Jamie

I’ve been so excited for her over the past couple of years and I think she’s capable of incredible things. Hopefully with a mini out, she’ll do more great things in the next year.

Alexa

After this incredible year, I can only see her going up and up. Plus with her MV universe/storyline, I’m always looking forward to what cool things will come next.

NMIXX

A very divisive group among listeners, but I believe these girls are capable of amazing things. They’re so incredibly talented. I can’t wait for more from them.

The Rose

Simply because they’re back. I found them doing the hiatus so I’m happy to see them all happy, thriving, and making great music again.

If you’ve read this far, thank you for your time! I’d love to hear what your favourites of the year were. Do we have similar lists, or completely different? Did I miss a song that you absolutely loved? Feel free to let me know! I’m always open to new music.

And with that, 2022 is over. What a phenomenal year for music. There’s lots of songs I couldn’t include because there was just so much. I feel incredibly lucky to live in a time where I can listen to all this incredible music. I can’t wait for what 2023 will bring! 💕

#this list is very specifically kpop and korean music #since this blog is my kpop blog #but that's mostly what i listen to anyway so #it was difficult to make but fun #women definitely won this year btw #top music 2022 #2022 music #top list #music #text #💕

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the-creative-chronicles-of-king · 5 months

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The Making of DIGITALES!

As the video editor of the films for our website, I'd be remiss if I said the process was effortless. The first few edits were a struggle. My mind felt like a blank page, trapped in the box of "what's popular." So I did what any sane person would do—I embraced my own weirdness. Before reaching our current website, we embarked on a journey filled with doubts and uncertainties.

It all started with a jumble of ideas... then we built a website!

From our early discussions, the biggest challenge was delivery: how to make this a story worthy of the digital realm? Days turned into weeks, and we finally started laying the groundwork. Sure, it wasn't groundbreaking, but it was a starting point. These simple edits became the foundation for our experimentation.

Initially, we created clips with a hopeful "maybe this is it," but as it turned out, there wasn't much experimental about them. As the course emphasized, I've always pushed myself to be innovative. Technology, like the sky, has limitless possibilities.

So, we decided to try something different: comics for Part 1, scrapbooks for Part 2, and video games for Part 3. While visually distinct, they were all connected by an analog storytelling style. Comics, scrapbooks, and video games were mediums where storytelling came first. We tried to modernize them, making them move in ways that is unusual.

For Part 1, our goal was to illuminate the daily experiences of people commuting, highlighting its current relevance and the challenges it faces. We aimed to provide viewers with a unique experience, opting for a series of photos that resembled a comic book. Our intention was to allow them to explore and comprehend the story independently, without the need for explicit narration.

For Part 2, we successfully cultivated an atmosphere reminiscent of flipping through a scrapbook, where the scrapbook itself animatedly unfolds before the viewers. Our aim was to narrate the story of a queer person in a manner that felt like unraveling a cherished part of their life.

For Part 3, the most exhilarating endeavor was our decision to fully animate everything, symbolizing a reflection of the current situation we are all navigating. In a reality where inflation has led our lives far from the promises made by the president, we opted for animation rather than real photos. This choice aimed to immerse viewers in the idea that our existence feels akin to a video game, with one person in control of our lives and determining our paths.

Concerning the interface of our website, the journey was also quite extensive. We initially envisioned a vibrant and colorful website, but fortunately, we transitioned to a design that mirrors a legitimate streaming platform familiar to users.

For distribution, I reached out to friends outside our UP, asking for their thoughts on the website. Their feedback was overwhelmingly positive. Many appreciated this alternative way of accessing films and videos, compared to the usual in-your-face placement on Facebook or Instagram. We created a website that looked like a real streaming platform, allowing users to explore and feel immersed in the experience. Our "free, ad-free" bootleg Netflix approach proved to be a hit, evidenced by delighted comments like:

To our surprise, our friends even helped us spread the word by sharing our website on their Instagram and Facebook stories. I also designed some ads to look like legitimate Instagram story promotions, further boosting engagement.

Woah! That was a whirlwind of chaos, and a journey I'm incredibly grateful for. In the first few months of this class, I was completely clueless about our direction. However, the word "experiment" became our guiding light, leading us to where we are now—with a fully developed website. If you had asked me a few months ago, I wouldn't have understood how I got here.

One crucial lesson that resonated with me is the idea that even in the smallest details, there lies a story. Even in well-established narratives, there are untold stories waiting to be explored. This insight proved immensely valuable as we navigated this journey.

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denjiholic · 3 years

Text

euphoria || bottom gojo x reader NSFW

✎ summary: when gojo wears a bunny girl suit and you’re unable to control yourself

✎ pairing: bottom gojo x fem! reader

✎ warnings/tags: NSFW, explicit content, bottom! gojo, brat! gojo, pegging, sex toys, overstimulation, dom/sub, rough sex, dacryphilia, rough sex, multiple sex positions, doggy style, riding, masturbation, exhibitionism

✎ word count: 2.3k

“so, how do I look?”

you take a moment to really look at him, soaking in the sight of the white haired man sitting on the bed in front of you. his legs are crossed, flaunting the fishnet tights that cover the skin on his calves and thighs. his torso is covered in a slick black bodysuit, the material exposing his ass and chest. the sweet little cherry on top however, is the bunny ears that stem from the headband tucked into his tousled hair.

he uncrosses his legs, and you lay eyes on his erection pushing against the material covering his crotch.

“are you turned on by yourself?”

“well who wouldn’t be, just look at me” he grins, “you can’t confidently tell me, that this outfit doesn’t make you want to fuck me.”

honestly, you couldn’t tell him that. not truthfully at least. the tight bodysuit flattered his lean yet toned figure in a way that made you feel hot with arousal. and his stupid expression, that fucking expression, full of smugness and confidence. you just wanted to wipe it clean off, replacing it with one of pure bliss and overstimulation. his eyes glimmer, taunting you with the possibility of him completely submitting to you and your body. letting you take control for the night, and fucking him until he couldn’t breathe.

“why are you staring?”, he teases, “do i look like that much of a slut?”

he leans forward, batting his white eyelashes, trying to draw a flustered response out of you.

you move closer towards him, extending your hand to tilt his chin up, forcing his face to meet yours. his skin is warm to the touch, eager and ready for you.

“yeah, you do look like a slut” his blue eyes gaze into your own with an issued challenge.

“so fuck me like i am one”, he whispers.

your fingers trace over his bulge, ghosting the fabric. keeping his head tilted up to face you, you listen to his breath hitch. while you lightly rub his cock through the bodysuit material, his eyelids flutter shut.

he begins to breathe heavier, letting his head fall back from your hand.

grabbing a hold of his face, you stop jerking him off.

“keep your eyes on me”, you command.

he smiles at your dominating tone, “someone’s getting bold.”

even though he felt the need to throw in a brazen remark, he follows your instruction, maintaining eye contact with you as you put your hand back onto his erection.

as you start to rub him once more through the fabric, you can feel his dick twitch. once his hips start to stutter up into your hand, you pull away, leaving him looking at you with frustration.

“why’d you stop?”

“you were going to make this lovely outfit dirty...” you smile and caress his face, “guess we’ll just have to take you out of it then.”

he grins smugly, “are you asking me to strip?”

“maybe.”

“you want to see me naked that badly? i didn’t think you’d be so desperate.”

brushing your thumb on his cheek you sigh, “shut up and undress yourself.”

before taking the suit off, he slowly caresses his body, keeping eye contact with you. his hand will occasionally rub his hardness beneath the fabric, but he mostly strokes the rest of his skin, an active attempt to tease you. whatever he’s doing is working however, as you can feel your underwear dampen. he slowly starts to unzip the suit, letting it fall to expose his bare chest underneath.

“putting on a show?”

he winks, completely removing the fabric.

“you know I always do.”

without the bodysuit, all that’s left is his dick pressed up against the fishnets. when he releases his cock from the tights, you can see it hit his stomach, smearing precum onto his abdomen.

he sits on the bed with a longing look in his eyes, awaiting your next order. luckily, you have it ready.

“touch yourself.”

“gladly”, he grins.

as he slowly starts to palm himself he lets out a shaky breath. he runs his fingers up and down his cock, playing with the tip gently while you watch him.

his head falls back, breaking the eye contact between you once again, as he lets out a soft moan.

he’s deliberately taking his time getting himself off, determined to fully show you how dirty he could be.

he truly does look like a slut. his body is bare aside from the bunny ears, collar, and the fabric cuffs around his wrists. eyes shut in concentration and euphoria, he’s gorgeous. with his hand moving up and down his length, he tries to delay his orgasm.

“y’know..”, he huffs, “i would enjoy it a lot more if i got to actually finish inside you.”

“too good for your own hand?”

“only when it comes to you.”

his fleeting proposal of dominating you is cut short however, as he suddenly releases onto his bare chest.

“shit, I didn’t mean to do that.”

“look at that, you’ve made quite the mess on yourself.”

smiling, you ask, “need some help cleaning it off?”

he smiles back, nodding his head. you get to your knees in front of him, and start licking the cum off his skin. he twitches when your tongue first makes contact with his stomach, tracing up his torso. lapping up the remainder off of his dick, you can hear his breathing get shallow.

“don’t taunt me like that”, he says shakily.

once he’s all clean, you get up to meet his lips for a kiss. he whines when your tongue enters his mouth, and you can feel his hand move down to wrap around his cock. when he starts to stroke it you pull away from him, and restrict his wrist.

“well, someone's needy..”

“if you’re not going to fuck me, i can damn well do it myself.”

“poor thing.”

he lets out a frustrated whine as you turn your back to him.

“sit here and be a good boy while i get a few things, okay?”

nodding his head, he stays put on the bed, while you venture into your closet.

after retrieving what you need, you show him what you’ve grabbed.

“if i'm being honest, i would have preferred a different color.”

he’s referring to the purple dildo in your hand, eyeing it, as well as you, with caution.

“lie down for me”

complying, he lies down on the bed, and sticks his hips in the air. he wiggles them slightly, teasing you playfully.

his carefree attitude is thrown away however, as you start to lube him up. gojo lets out a sharp inhale as he starts to feel one of your slick fingers start to enter his tight ass. after he’s squirming enough, you put in a second finger, slowly stretching and preparing his hole for you.

unable to resist the temptation to hear more whimpers come out of his mouth, you start to thrust your fingers in and out of his ass. his pale back arches, and he grips the soft material of the bedsheets, as you hit his prostate.

more whimpers leave his lips as you give his ass a gentle slap. he’s fucking himself onto your fingers now, desperately searching for release.

his body shudders when his cum spills onto the sheets.

“shit”, he groans.

looking at the trembling man beneath you, you coo, “you just couldn’t help yourself, could you?”

“fuck you.”

picking up the strap on, you lie down and start to insert one end into yourself. gojo watches impatiently, yearning to feel you inside him. he whimpers as you let out contented sighs, the dildo filling you up just right. patting your lap, you gesture for him to get on top of you.

he’s about to put the strap into his tight hole when you halt him.

“suck it a little first”

in a hurry to get fucked, he positions himself in front of the dildo. he starts licking up the sides, not stopping until saliva has fully covered its length. once he suffices it’s wet enough, he takes it into his mouth, inch by inch. gojo has no shame, letting the strap on repeatedly hit his throat until he’s gagging, tears pricking at his long white lashes. you watch his head bow up and down, desperately trying to get your permission and approval.

“good boy, that’s enough”, you hum.

you pull his mouth off, admiring the strings of spit that connect from his tongue to the dildo.

“i’m going to need you to use those strong legs of yours to ride me, okay?”

his blue eyes spark with excitement, enthused to be able to have the satisfaction of another orgasm.

as you guide the strap into his hole, he curses, feeling the full length and width bottom out inside him.

he starts to grind down his hips, struggling to move his legs at the proper angle. Deciding to help him out, you thrust up to hit his sensitive spot, aiding him in his pursuit of pleasure.

the tip of his dick is flushed and leaking with precum, his body practically begging to be used.

when your fingers graze his nipples, his back arches suddenly, and a stifled cry fills the room.

“something wrong?”, you tease.

he doesn’t even bother with a comeback, his body too overwhelmed with the strap on dragging across his walls.

with each bounce on your length, the bunny ears on his headband flop and shake.

gojo knows just how lewd he looks, as he makes a conscious effort to show the pleasure he’s receiving through his facial expression, truly leaning into the submissive role.

choked sounds fall from his lips as he cums onto his stomach for the second time that night. his eyes roll back as he shakes on top of your thighs.

you smile at his exaggerated look, saying, “you really have to do the most every time, don’t you?”

he lets out a shallow laugh, still out of breath from his orgasm.

“i’m just trying to fit the part”

“if you really want to do that, then lie down ass up on the bed for me”

his eyes widen, “but I just-”

stroking his cheek, you whisper, “now, please”

he whimpers, but does what he’s told, climbing off of you and getting on his hands and knees.

after getting behind him, you start to slide the dildo in once more.

“take it easy please”, he pleads.

you laugh, knowing full well his request has fallen on deaf ears.

“oh really? i thought you liked it rough..”

once you start thrusting into him, he quickly muffles a moan into the mattress. his fists desperately grip the bed sheets, searching for stability. arching his back, he brings his hips back to meet your own, each thrust from your pelvis met with the skin on the globes of his ass.

soon after you start thrusting he releases his seed onto the bed. you can tell that by now he’s unable to hold out for very long, the relentless torturing of his prostate too much to handle.

you don’t allow him any rest however, and continue fucking him with force.

his knuckles have practically turned white from gripping the bed, and he begins to sob into the sheets. even as he cries and begs for you to slow down, he rubs his cock against the bedding, desperate to feel more friction.

the shared strap feels good inside you as well, but you’re more heavily focused on gojo’s pleasure and reactions. he’s only come four times, yet he’s close to being completely, and euphorically, fucked out.

his chest stutters with each choked hiccup, as you pound into him. after letting him dry his eyes onto the bed, you grab a fistful of his hair and pull his head back, determined to let his tears stream down his face.

he moans and whines pathetically, reaching climax once again. keeping up this process, you never give him a break, letting him reach completion repeatedly. by now, his cock is worn out and oozing onto the bed, the collar and cuffs that came with the bunny suit are damp with his sweat.

he looks like he’s almost in pain when he cums once more, with the way his body shudders, and his desperate cries as you fuck him.

with a firm grip on his white hair, you tug at his head, using him as a support while you thrust.

“fuck fuck fuck, please, oh god”, he moans.

panting like a bitch in heat, his bright blue eyes look glossy, wonderfully accompanying his rosy flushed face and cheeks.

“m’gonna cum again”, he mumbles, almost completely incapable of speaking.

you push deeper and harder, wanting to milk him for all he’s worth. feeling his body twitch and shake, you can tell he’s on the brink of having his strongest climax of the night.

he moans loudly, white eyelashes heavy with thick tears. his tongue falls out of his mouth, spilling drool down his chin and onto the bed. eyes rolling back in pure bliss, he’s unable to feel anything other than you fucking him silly, and the hard orgasm that fills his entire body with pure ecstasy.

once he’s done, you slow down your thrusts to a final stop, eventually pulling out.

limbs no longer able to support his position on all fours, he collapses onto the bed, and you watch his body spasm and tremble as he sobs into the sheets. you smooth the hair stuck to his forehead, and stroke his face, coaxing him down his high.

referring to the sweat and cum that reside on his chest and body, you coo, “look at you, such a little mess.”

after taking a few shallow breaths, he says, “you gonna use your tongue to clean me up?” his voice is hoarse, vocal chords obviously strained from the busy night.

you laugh, surprised he still has the ability to fight back.

“you wish.”

you head to the bathroom to wet a damp towel, and once you return to the bed he has his eyes shut.

“are you seriously asleep?”, you ask.

“yes.”

shaking your head, you start to wipe off his chest. he sighs contentedly, more than happy to simply lay back and get taken care of by you.

#jujutsu kaisen x reader #gojo satoru #gojo x reader #jjk x reader #jjk smut #jujutsu kaisen gojo #gojo x you #gojo smut #jjk #gojo headcanons #gojo imagine #LICK ME TEASE ME #TOUCH ME PLEASE ME #SEX ME #FLEX ME CARESS ME

482 notes · View notes

burnedbyshoto · 4 years

Text

arrière-pensée

— When you start a new job, you never thought you would come face with Most Wanted Ground Zero who decides that you’re going to help him make a point.

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pairing: bakugou katsuki x fem!reader

warnings: smut, 18+, robbery kink, consented noncon, public sex, exhibitionism, degradation, spanking, slight gunplay, sadist bakugou, machoist reader, blow job, character death, murder, blood, gun violence, knife violence

word count: 8,550

a/n: literally fuck me. I super fucking liked this prompt had clearly had too much fun because this was not supposed to be a long fic. anyways, I hope you like the idea of big bad evil bakugou fucking you to make a point. also, just trust me on the details on y/n I make, please. make sure to comment on all fics you enjoy, all authors love them! carefully read the warnings!!!!

kinktober day 4 main kink: robbery kink

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“As for our latest news, the city of Chiba has decided to close the current twelve-month reigning search for the missing victim of the Chiba Bank robberies. However, known criminal known only by his alias Ground Zero who has been on our countries most wanted list on account of robberies, murder, and rape is still on the ru—”

Click.

You frowned as you threw the TV remote onto the bed, unease sitting on your stomach.

Pre-work jitters were a normal thing, right?

You looked at the full-length mirror in front of you, your finger pressed against a black pencil skirt, trailing up to brush against the white silk shirt you wore. Today is a special day, you reminded yourself as you lined closer to the mirror. Your hand grabbing the dark red lipstick you owned and as smoothly as you could, smoothed the cream over your lips.

The first day working at the esteemed Yaoyorozu Banking Inc., the world's most influential and wealthiest bank. Getting an interview at the prestigious bank had been a once in a lifetime opportunity, your incredible resume and references without a doubt getting your foot in the door to simply be a bank teller.

Yes, to simply be a bank teller, you had to know at least three languages (you knew English, Japanese, Mandarin, and Spanish), had to know someone with affiliations to either the Yaoyorozu family or the hiring team (your number one reference was none other than the CEO and Founders daughter), and have a certain intellect (there was an admittance test to even qualify to fill out a job application). It had been a rather challenging admittance for you, especially as they had only been one job opening. Frankly, you think your only reason for winning the spot was due to Yaoyorozu Momo’s hand.

Still, it mattered not in the end because you had the job—no use of trying to figure out just what made you stand out so much.

Pushing away from the mirror, you studied yourself over one last time.

Your outfit was exactly as they required it to be, your pink hair styled appropriately out of your face, and the slight gleam of your pantyhose made you heave a heavy sigh.

You were as ready as you could ever be.

With one final look into the mirror, you tilted your head at the gold-colored contacts you wore, a symbol of the job you held at Yaoyorozu Bankings and thought it made you look like a whole other person. No time to dwell on that, you decided, slipping on your watch and red-bottomed high heels and left your apartment.

It was time to work.

The commute to work was dull if you ignored the way your stomach twisted and turned in the thought of arriving at work. What would the security be like, at the bank, you couldn’t help but wonder? Would there be bulletproof glass? Ten security guards?

All the banks you’ve ever had the pleasure of entering had always been handled with a small waiting room for clients and a five-inch thick bulletproof glass wall. But that had been at smaller, local banks, not anything like where you were about to begin working. Yaoyorozu Banking had several different buildings designated for the different types of jobs located within their name. You did, however, know that the smallest only two-story building was for their in-person bank tellings. That is where you would be working. Two floors for an essential part of their business, and you had no idea what it looked like as you had no account with them, and your interview had taken place at their headquarters.

By the time the bus had pulled up to the stop, you would need to get off of, you could feel the nerves of the upcoming day begin to sit heavily on your bladder. You could feel the eyes of everyone else on the bus staring at you as you exited the vehicle. Everyone knew what this stop was for and had undoubtedly seen the gold contacts when you passed by them.

Each step of your heel against the sidewalk's paved concrete seemed to echo distinctly in your ear. It was rather odd, you noted as you walked toward the bank's building, that despite a large number of employees and patron’s the bank had, it seemed almost deserted. Looking down at the watch on your wrist, you knew immediately that you weren’t running late. As a matter of fact, you would be running precisely on time, showing up to your on-call site fifteen minutes before you were due.

Regardless, you took each stride in your step as powerfully and as in control as you could. Your gaze narrowed, focused, intense as you stared at the revolving crystal clean glass doors. With one last supporting thought about how you were absolutely going to make sure that you would end this day in success, you pushed through.

White marble floors, glossy white walls with black and gold accents met your gaze immediately. Despite the apparent shock of seeing the indoors of this lavish, distinctly rich bank, you continued moving as if unaffected. The clicking of your heels against the floor was the only thing letting you know that you were, in fact, moving.

Twelve men lined the lobby hallway, each tall, bulky with sunglasses and earpieces on. Although you couldn’t see their eyes, you had without a doubt that they were looking at you as you passed them to a set of large oak and gold accented doors.

There, a smiling woman greeted you. Her smile is warm and gentle as her own silver-colored eyes welcome you, and your spine stiffens at the appearance of information that passes through your vision.

Name: Fuwa Mawata Position: Greeter & Inspector.

“Ah, welcome Uzume-chan!” she cheered in greeting, her mascara painted eyes closing in greetings. You said your hello’s, your voice breathy with the shock of this bank's high technological advantages. “I see that this is your first day here, and luckily for you, no one is around, so I may quickly inform you of entrance clearance!”

“T-That sounds perfect!” you admit, your smile feeling just the littlest bit too tight, but your hands held your bag tighter in your grip.

“Wonderful! Well, here at Yaoyorozu’s Banking Inc., we have a strict business protocol for both our clients and our employees! First, as you may or may not know, all of the building's operations take place on the floor above, and due to the clients we have, it's a bit… unorthodox in our approach. We are the only bank with no bulletproof glass between you, the bank tellers, and our customers!”

What now?

“Our clients are so finicky about being treated with such distrust that they’d rather have this approach!” Fuwa laughed as if there was absolutely nothing wrong with such statements. “So, to approach the bank, you must pass by me! But do not worry! We have never, ever within our nearly century-long reign, have ever been robbed or seized before. Our twelve men out there are true experts, and I have the only button to inform the police right here! Everyone, so both clients and employees, must leave their personal belongings here, and I will search you for any potential weapons!”

“I’m not allowed my phone up?” you asked, a bit confused by this rather outlandish set of rules.

“I’m afraid not! You’ll be so busy working the entire time you won’t be needing it. You are allowed to come and retrieve while on lunch since the break room and lunchrooms are down here on the first floor!” Fuwa confirmed, her head nodding in confirmation. “I understand that it can be a bit different, I myself am not yet used to it, but these rules are in place so that every one of our clients and employees can remain safe!”

You fight off the frown that dangerously tries to grow on your face by nodding, handing over your purse to Fuwa, “That makes sense.”

“Glad to know that it isn’t an issue for you, Uzume-chan! Now, if you’ll step past me, I’ll be checking for any concealed weapons, and you will be met with your supervisor as soon as you enter the second floor!”

It takes exactly two seconds for Fuwa to complete her scan of your body. She explained with a wink that her contacts allowed her to find any potentially dangerous weapon on a person's body. “No matter where it might be,” she added with a tilting head and a bright grin. “By the way, I love the watch! It’s so beautiful, it must’ve been expensive!”

“Oh,” you feel your face warm as you gently touch the watch, your finger tapping the watch’s face twelve times while your smile is unparalleled as you think of the man who had gifted you the object. “Thank you, it was a gift.”

With that, you climbed up the stairs as sophisticatedly, brushing a few strands of curly pink hair out of your face as you enter the main floor, and you realize immediately that the quiet of the first floor and outdoors does not reach this floor.

The second floor is loud.

People with their names and occupations flashing within your view walking from table to table, stacks of paper in their arms, arguing, or talking with those around them. It was a sight to behold, indeed. But a voice interrupted your thoughts, and before you could honestly assess the situation at hand, you were whisked away, a detailed explanation of your job and expectations were.

Unexpectedly, Fuwa had been right.

This job had no downtime.

You sat on a leather seat at a desk to handle the clients. Much like old banks out west, your desks were much higher than those you were servicing; most often, you had to look down at them like a mother to a child as you worked.

Your supervisor, who went by the name Togeike Chikuchi, was over your shoulder for about an hour, detailing and correcting your every action until you cleared ten clients entirely on your own. At this moment, she sat at the desk to your left, chatting with her client with a bright sunny smile that you had thought for a moment she was incapable of.

It was 14:23 when you were with a client who was currently wondering if sending her ‘poor niece who lived with her amazing female roommate’ ¥500,000 was enough for a week worth of groceries. Of course, it took everything in you to bite your tongue and ask her if she had ever bought her own groceries before.

“Well, if you’re asking me, I think that’s a perfect amount!” you smile pleasantly, watching as who you’re pretty sure to be a CEO of a rice tycoon company. “If anything, you can always question her if that was enough the next time you speak. Everyone is always so different when it comes to groceries.”

“Ah, I suppose so!” she laughs good naturally, her arms rising to press a slip of paper with her account information on it on your desk. “I always spend almost—”

She cut off, and for the first time, you didn’t have to wonder why.

There was an echoing, distant sound of four straight bangs.

It seemed to have been heard collectively by the entire second floor because, for a moment, there was a silence that wrapped the whole floor.

Mumbles and murmurs soon flooded the floor, and a frown pressed against your lips as you stared at the staircase. What happened?

“Oh, I bet you that dumb janitor downstairs dropped his vacuum again!” your client huffed, her eyes rolling while you transferred the amount she requested from her account over into her nieces. “He did that the last time I was here too! Except it only caused two loud bangs like that! How immaturely irresponsible of him! Unable to do his job correctly and as a janitor at that? How much lower could he possibly get?”

You, once again, bite your tongue, choosing instead to laugh in faux humor over her rant. The agreeing lie on your tongue moments from being let out when a new sort of movement at the corner of your eye stopped you.

Climbing up from the staircase was a man who took heavy, powerful steps. You were getting used to the way these clients carried themselves. They all tended to stride authoritatively, commandeering all attention to them. Despite their dominative pace, they were almost light on their feet, their steps relatively silent as they walked from corner to corner. But this man who made his way up the stairs was heavy, barbaric, and fierce with every echoing footstep he took.

It was as if the world slowed down as the entire room went to stare at him, and an ice-cold shiver crept down your spine as you took him in.

Ash blond, spiky unruly hair. Splattered red blood covering his exposed arms and neck. A black get-up looked akin to a secret black op team with the black army vest, black tank underneath, black army pants, black combat boots, and strap around his right thigh that seemed to carry two guns and knives. As a matter of fact, his vest also showcased the copious amount of ammunition he had.

It was Ground Zero.

Fear plunged through you as he rose a single hand to the ceiling, a sickening smirk spreading on his face as the world seemed to slow down. Many clients chose to turn to look the second his finger pulled on the trigger.

BANG.

Shrieks erupted through the floor, and you watched as everyone, including yourself, hit the deck. Your body trembled with nervous fear as the gun firing stopped.

“Everybody get the fuck up.”

It was a low voice, gravely, and course with evident past strain. You looked across the way to Togeike, who looked just about as fearful and terrified as you felt.

You didn’t dare to move, and by the looks of it, none of your coworkers did either. There was no panic button on this floor, and the only way to the switch was at Fuwa’s desk. A desk that couldn’t be reached unless passing by the man with black paint smeared across most of his face in a strategic way that rendered him anonymous by all photographic and video evidence.

“I don’t think I fucking stuttered,” Ground Zero sneered, a light, fickle chuckle erupting low and deep in his chest as the sound of scared whimpers and silent sobbing began to pick up around the room. You didn’t need to know who was making those noises; after all, you knew what everyone was already thinking: will I be killed next? There was a loud bang a bit too near to your body, and you couldn’t help but scream in tandem with everyone else on the floor and the distinctive, irreplicable sound of someone choking on their blood. “I said, everyone, get the fuck up.”

Flight or fight were always two instincts you were taught about in school. Two altering, opposite reactions to being placed in stressful situations, but right now, you were in that third, lesser-known option: freezing.

“It’s like you elite bastards are begging to fucking die!” he laughed joyously, and you felt tears push to your eyes as another resounding bang shake through your body, your ears ringing with the noise. The now becoming familiar sound of a body hitting the floor dead and bleeding sending a sickening bubble through your throat.

But you pulled yourself up, your body trembling like a leaf as you stared at the infamous criminal who was merely smirking at the two dead bodies of clients who continued to bleed out on the floor as those around them cried.

“So, even with all the money in the goddamn world, you damn elitist are still damn fucking cry babies!” he cried with unrestrained, unleveled glee and anger. “Oh, this was the perfect place to choose as my final exit from the world.”

Your breath stops when he turns on you, his blood-red eyes locking on yours, and you can feel the hairs on your arm rising in unsettling knowing.

“Aren’t you a pretty looking whore,” he smirked, his hands putting his gun back into its holster, his heavy feet booming as loud as his gunshots as he makes his way towards you. The rest of the clients, especially the one located by your desk, shriek, cowering as he moves. “Tell me, whore, who does a guy gotta fucking talk to to get the money into my account?”

Your throat seamlessly tightened up in your deep fear as he directly addressed you, and you made a choking noise in your horror.

But, it seemed that Ground Zero was not in the mood for your timidness. Because you could see the vein in his temple throb, the sound of him sucking in his teeth, and the cold, humorous chuckle that rumbled in his chest as he grabbed his gun back out of its holster and pressed it centimeters away from between your eyes.

Typically, the clients couldn’t reach you from where they stood, but it was clearly apparent as he neared you that Ground Zero was not typical. He was big, huge, tall, and he quickly reached you.

The heat of the previously fired bullets from the muzzle of the gun radiating off it clearly, licking the skin on your forehead as finally, words tumbled out.

“I just started today, Togeike-san is my supervisor!”

Ground Zero lazily smirked as he followed your thrust out finger at your coworker and supervisor.

A loud choking sound spluttered from Togeike as Ground Zero turned his attention onto her and stalked over in three steps easily. His eyes were sharp, deadly, and cold as he stared at your supervisor, and he reached into one of his many pockets and pulled out a black USB.

“Put all the bank's assets onto the account on this drive.”

“W-What if I don’t?” Togeike stammered, her body quivering just the same as yours. But the false sense of confidence only resulted in the gun being placed back between her eyes, only this time, he pressed the hot muzzle against her skin, and she shrieked at her burning skin.

“Try that again, you fucking extra,” Ground Zero hissed, and Togeike sobbed, grabbing the USB with a nod.

“I’ll do it! I’ll do it! I’ll do it!”

The sound of Togeike sobbing is almost as bad as the intruding smells of iron rusting blood from the dead bodies and the sick smell of the burning flesh on her forehead.

It seems to take forever, you standing there silently, perfectly still as Togeike hooks the hard drive to her computer. You can see that she begins the monetary transfer from the bank's large accounts and reserves onto the account enabled on the hard drive, and you feel numb. Should you be relieved that he would most likely take this once it was done and leave? Scared that he was here on your first day at that? What shit luck…

You concentrated on your hands as time seemed to drag by slowly, your knees still feeling weak, your breathing shallow as the crude smell of drying blood makes your head spin.

But unlike you, you hadn’t raised a single gaze in Ground Zero’s way, a rising sound of voices began to resonate from the floor and opposite side of the room. You blinked rapidly as you looked up.

Four men stood up, their brows furrowed, suits abandoned, and expressions steady and fierce.

“The fuck you think you’re doing standing up, fucking wimps?” Ground Zero gruffed, his body language telling a whole other story from his voice. He was relaxed, unaffected by their challenging forms and fierce glares. “What? Don’t tell me? You think you four in front of me can take me? Don’t fucking flatter yourself. Even with the three behind me who’s easily apart of your fucking idiotic plan, I’ll kill ya all before you can pray to not to be sent to hell!”

“Flatter ourselves?” a man scoffed after getting over the initial shock of their once thought to be secretive plan being exposed without so much as a spec of interest from Ground Zero. “Don’t you get so fucking cocky! We’ll beat your ass and hand you over to the fucking police, you damn bastard!”

Screams erupt throughout the entire room as the seven in cahoots men lunge forward at the dangerous criminal who has set himself back center stage of the second floor.

It’s over before you can blink.

You scream with the masses as five excruciatingly loud bangs go off, and you can barely return your gaze on the fighting men to see the outcome you already know.

There are six bodies on the floor, bleeding out fleetingly as Ground Zero holds the seventh by the neck. Your jaw drops as more blood splatters against Ground Zero’s chest, and you’re none the wiser of the knife buried deep within his throat until the body is falling over, dead, lifeless.

“All the fucking money in the world and none of you were taught fucking manners of a properly functioning brain, hah?” he roared, his lips pulled into a threatening, angry snarl as sobs erupt through the crowds again, and a rolling tingle shoots through your body. “I guess killing everyone just isn’t fucking enough for you all, is it?”

You were unsure of how to even answer that. Your eyes falling over onto Togeike, who was silently crying, her eyes screwed tightly as the meter on the money transfer hits 47%.

“Let me set an example for anyone else who wants to try more bullshit in front of me,” Ground Zero snaps, and you shriek when his bloodied hand tangles into your pink hair and yanks you over the desk.

Crashing onto the floor as ungracefully as one could, your eyes widen and jaw drop in an excruciating, soundless scream as pain shoots through your body. But, it’s not near over yet.

Your hands weakly grab Ground Zero’s wrist, trying to ease the pulsing pain in your body and scalp as he drags you front and center of the second floor. You can’t even understand yourself at this point, sniffling, pathetic pleas to let you go, tears streaming down your face as he throws you, your body hitting the marble floor as you sob for forgiveness.

“Now,” Ground Zero speaks from above you, and your arms have never felt weaker as you press up from the cold, ice floor. You freeze, your body feeling like a tundra as a now all too familiar click of a loaded gun resonates centimeters from your head. You silently sob when a warm muzzle pressed against the back of your head. “The next person to look away from what I’m about to do to my new cum whore, the next person who even fucking thinks of trying some really unfunny shit… her life is on your head.”

The sobs stop with that threat, or did they grow more at the easily implied actions of the corrupt man before you? You couldn’t really tell anymore. Yet slowly, the clients who are sitting in dead men’s blood shakily turn their gaze to you, and you can feel the weight of all their eyes on you. You feel weightless, almost empty.

“Pink hair is for whores, didn’t you know that? That’s why I picked you.” Ground Zero informs you from behind you. The barrel of the gun digs harder, pushing roughly against your head. “Whores are meant to be fucked by fat fucking cocks, so turn around, whore, and suck me off.”

Your breathing returns in spastic, shallow breathes, and you suppress the rising sob in your throat as you turn around on your hands and knees.

Ground Zero stares down at you with expectant eyes, cruel and dark with their crooked want and lust. Your breathing picks up when he unbuckles his belt and removes his pants and underwear with only one hand, the other one with the gun never once leaving your head.

“Make sure you all watch her, I’ve never had to kill a bitch while sucking me off, and I wouldn’t want to make this the first time!” Ground Zero laughed, his crimson red eyes glaring at the shamefully gazed clients as he holds his growing cock in his hands. Despite all logic, you stare at his hardening cock with an ever-increasing lust, the tears in your eyes never stopping, but your cunt unwilling to ignore the fact that his cock would feel so good in anyone of your holes. You knew that, and it horrified you. “The fuck you waiting for?” Ground Zero growled, shifting the barrel of the gun to your temple, his eyebrow raised in a taunt. “Suck my fucking cock.”

And despite the growing hiccuping cries in your chest, you can’t stop the way your mouth waters as you shamefully grab onto his cock and press your mouth down on him.

His cock was large, undoubtedly longer than your face, and thicker than what your hand could encompass. Messy dark blond pubes sat motions away from your nose, and veins that ran all over his length rubbed against your tongue. The taste of his slightly sweaty cock made you gag, but the fear of what he would do caused you to snuff it out.

Tears poured limitlessly down your face, your throat and jaw stretching as far as it could as you took him in further and further.

Even with the tears on your cheeks, you did your best to appease him, horrified by the outcome should you not. Your tongue swirled against his girth, trailing the plenty of veins that you could get to. His cock pressed further into your mouth, shoving until it hit the back of your throat, continuing to dive in deeper until the ends of his pubes tickled your nose, and you could feel the head of his cock stretching out your throat. And horrifically, even with the strangled, choked sobs that still continued to pour from your mouth, you were enjoying the way he was fucking your mouth.

You enjoyed the way the cooling barrel on your temple made you quiver with dreadful apprehension. You enjoyed the way his hips rocked into your mouth, most often hitting your gaping jaw. You enjoyed the way the noises of your unwilling audience made you feel dirty, whorish, and shameful. But as his fingers managed to slip into your hollowing cheeks, drool and saliva dripping down your chin in your slobbering heat and shame, you could feel your essence slicking onto your panties.

“Look at how shameless you are!” Ground Zero laughed, his hand that once guided his cock into your mouth, gripping onto your hair and fisting into it. You yelped at the pain, your teeth painfully close to biting his cock. “All these people around watching you suck off the big, bad Ground Zero’s cock, and you aren’t even embarrassed!?”

You made a disagreeing noise, your brows furrowing, your gaze doing everything in its power to avoid your clients and coworkers gaze as Ground Zero began to rock his hips even more powerfully into your mouth. He chuckled, clearly pleased with what was occurring, and he threw the gun back into its holster. With the free hand, he placed it around your throat, squeezing your airway as you choked pathetically against his length and girth.

“I bet you came into work wanting to be fucked today. Wanting to get pressed to the floor and let everyone see your slutty fucking cunt and throat be used.” Ground Zero growled his grip on your throat, tightening even more. “Is that why you came here to work? Hoped I’d show up one day and fuck you to submission in front of everyone?!”

You gagged, the pounding of his cock further and further down your choked throat overwhelming you as the tears of shame quickly became those of fear as the lack of oxygen burned your throat and nose. You tried to breathe, but Ground Zero knew what he was doing and how he was doing it, not allowing you to breathe despite the way your fingers created crescent scars on the back of his thighs.

Too much, too much, too much!

His balls slapped under your chin, and the musk of his skin tainted your tongue, but Ground Zero was only getting started, it seemed. With his hands now grabbing the sides of your head, he began to fuck your throat savagely.

The wet sloppy noises of his driving cock into your throat seemed to echo off the shiny walls and marble floors. Your saliva and drool ruining your silk top and mixing with the blood on the floor.

Your eyes were crossing with the extreme force, your body feeling weightless with your inability to breathe, yet despite all logic, you finally let out a sweet, grateful moan as your nose pressed to his hips.

But that was enough for Ground Zero.

It was a noise that would finish the last nail in your coffin as he held you there to his hips, his cock entire within your throat that tightened and fluttered against his length as you struggled to pull away.

“No use in fighting it now, you fucking whore,” Ground Zero grinned, the expression on his face akin to that of a predator stalking his prey. His voice, ever so naturally loud, filled the room, letting everyone know just what was going on. “They all heard you moan like a slut while getting fucking raped by me. So do me a little favor and get on all fours, I need a place to dump my fucking cum.”

With that, Ground Zero shoved you off his cock and onto your back, and you began to cough and choke desperately. The sour, raunchy scent of the sweat, blood, and gunpowder burning your nostrils as you attempted to steady yourself. You began to cry again at the filthy thought of how you were enjoying the way his cock had been in you, and the way your body craved for more of it.

You didn’t want to admit that you wanted him to fuck you, especially in front of everyone.

But as you were consumed with your at war thoughts, Ground Zero was already impatient.

His feet trapped you between him, and he leaned down to grab your silk shirt.

“W-Wait—!” you shriek as he rips open the shirt, the sound of scattering buttons flying everywhere as your bra is revealed to everyone in the room who is watching.

Silent tears poured down your cheeks as with the destruction of the white silk shirt, a sheer and lacy red bra was exposed to the mass. Today had been a means of celebration, and you had intended on fucking your boyfriend the moment you got home… but that had been something you had kept a secret. Something to be held from the world until it was you and him in a bed. But it was now an object to be seen by everyone, and you bit onto your lower, trembling lip, eyes screwed shut as you tried to look away from the heated territorial look on Ground Zero’s face.

“Oh, look at what we have here?” Ground Zero almost whispered, but his voice still managed to reach every corner of the floor. “You are a little fucking whore, are you not? Came to work actually wearing lingerie! I thought I was just fucking teasing you before, but no! No! Not at all! You do want to be fucked in front of everyone!”

Your sniffling wouldn’t stop as his large, hot, bloodied dried hands grabbed at your bra-clad breasts. He was leaning down over you, you could feel the amused breathing flushing against your collarbone, and you mangled a choke when he kneeled down, trapping you.

“Such an ugly pair of tits,” Ground Zero mocked, his large hands pressing the sides of your breasts together, enhancing your cleavage and fullness of your breasts as you lay on the floor. “I’ll let you in on a secret… all those missing sluts I’ve fucked in previous jobs? Well, I can always tell how good a fuck they’d be just through this part.”

Hissing, you glared at Ground Zero as he slipped his fingers under the fabric, teasing and pulling at your pebbled nipples. His red glare meeting yours, mocking and somehow both hot and cold.

But a shameful, pitch moaned fell from you, your back against all logic arching up into Ground Zero. Soft whines, shaking arms, thrashing legs.

“Would you look at that,” Ground Zero’s sneering tone was back, and you found yourself opening your eyes (somehow missing when you closed them), to see Ground Zero glaring at someone in the crowd. “Looks like you could make a professional slut, whore! That man over there has a fucking boner over watching me rape you and your slutty mouth and feeling up your tits!”

“N-No I don’t!” the man exclaimed as you couldn’t help but meet the accused eyes that were filled with shame, a red blush tainting his cheeks. “Just thinking about when this’ll be fucking over!”

“Oh?”

Ground Zero’s grip grabbed you by the throat, and you panicked as he ripped you up onto your feet and began walking over to where the man was. You stumbled to keep up, unable to find your balance the entire time you walked with him, in awe that this unlawful man could walk determinedly when his pants around his thighs, hard, leaking cock pressing to his vest-clad stomach. But before you could find your balance, Ground Zero threw you back onto the floor, landing centimeters from the client's feet, and you began to cry as your exposed stomach touched the floor.

Ground Zero wasted no time on your noises, straddling your ass, scooping his hands beneath your breasts, and pulling you up.

The client's face went beet red, his bulge in his pants evident as you could only keep your gaze there, unable to raise or turn your head as Ground Zero squeezed your breasts in his hands.

You moaned at the sensation, your mind giving in to the feelings to not cry anymore.

“Tell the whore how much you like her tits,” Ground Zero commanded, his hands kneading and pulling at your mounds of flesh. “Tell her your little microcock wants to fuck her.”

The client had the decency to look offended as he spluttered, “I’M NOT GOING TO TELL HER THAT!”

With his words, silence took over the room, and you trembled in your fear.

“Damn extra?” Ground Zero shouts to Togeike.

“Y-Yes?”

“How much fucking longer?”

“I-It’s at 63%!”

“Wonderful.”

One of Ground Zero’s hands abandoned his manipulation of your breasts, but he still managed to keep you in place with only one hand. He pulled a breast out of the bra, and you whimpered as the client gwuaffed at the sight of your breast, but immediately cut himself off when a cold, heavy metal barrel pressed against your temple.

“Let’s try again,” Ground Zero said with faux cheer. “Tell the whore how much you like her tits, and how your microcock wants to fuck her, or else I’ll kill her right in front of you.” There’s a heavily, curling silence that overwhelms the room before he decides to add one last thing for good measure. “I’ve never fucked a dead body before, and I wouldn’t want to start that now.”

“I-I like her tits,” the man stammered.

“How much?”

“T-They’re… they’re so hot,” the man begins to cry, his body shaking in front of you. “I wish I could b-be fucking her instead!”

“Too bad for that microcock you have, huh?” Ground Zero taunted, pulling the gun from your temple and pointing it straight at the man's crotch. “Show her.”

“W-What?!”

“Show her your cock.”

It seemed to happen so slowly. The man unbuckling his belt with shaky hands, clumsily undoing his pants, and shifting it down his legs, white boxer briefs stained slightly with pre-cum. You looked away when he revealed a cock that looked pathetic to the one you had just sucked, so small, so thin, so discolored.

“You got one fucking ugly ass cock,” Ground Zero laughed.

Then the world picked back up.

The first thing you heard and felt was the tearing of your skirt, and you panicked as Ground Zero dropped your chest onto the cold floor. You whipped your head around to see your work skirt split all the way down the middle, only held together by a few remaining strands by the waistline. And the sheer pantyhose you wore, twisted between his fingers, and completely ripped as his gaze met yours.

“Cute fucking thong.”

You choked at the feeling of cold, soured air hitting your inner thighs that were still wet with your slick, and instinctively, you tried to scramble onto your knees. But it seemed that this was what Ground Zero wanted from you, for the moment you were on your knees, he pressed his hand to the curve of your back and kept you there.

Ass up, back curved, chest down.

“Until the transfer is at 100%, your wet little cunt is mine!” Ground Zero reveled in the information as he couldn’t even bother to pull down your panties before plunging his fingers into your sopping heat.

The shameful pleasure of feeling his fingers deep within your cunt sent you screaming, your back arching even further as his fingers continued to thrust in you. They curled and spread, sending your mind into a spiraling lust as he managed to find all of your sweet spots without so much as breaking a sweat.

“You’re so easy,” Ground Zero groaned, his cock rutting between the curves of your ass as he continued to finger fuck you. “So fucking wet too. I just knew a fucking whore like you couldn’t be getting fucked right at home, that’s why you hoped you’d get fucked by me today!”

Your teeth bit into your forearm, the overwhelming pleasure of his fingers stroking your inner walls, tweaking and moving against your clit, making your thighs tremble with the already forming pressure in your womb.

“Don’t be embarrassed, you little whore,” Ground Zero whispered into your ear, laughing when you shuddered at the feeling of his tongue licking the shell of your ear. “Everyone wants to hear you moan, scream, and cry for the big bad Ground Zero’s cock. Don’t mute yourself, let them hear just how well I’ll fuck you into a puddle of tears and cum.”

You didn’t want them to hear you begging for more. You didn’t want the entire room to know that your cunt was spasming and clenching around his fingers because you liked this. You didn’t want them to know.

“I bet fuckface in front of you really wants to hear it!” Ground Zero laughed, his finger doing light, quick circles against your clit as his other hand brought your attention to the man before you. Sure enough, his cock was throbbing, precum leaking down his length as he shamefully looked at you. “Don’t worry, I don’t mind you fucking yourself as I fuck this stupid cunt.”

But with the building pressure in your stomach. Your toes curling as the soft thumps of his fingers dive in and out of your sopping wet cunt, your body begins to tense up.

“Already ready to cum,” Ground Zero smirked, and you felt your body go rigid when his fingers left your cunt, and was immediately replaced with his large, thick cock.

Having not expected such action, your arms shot out, eyes rolling back as a guilty, wanton scream tore through your throat. He was so big, so thick, so full, stretching you out completely, sending your tight walls into a frenzy as they stretched and tightened around his cock.

Fuck, fuck, “fuck!”

“Oh, she speaks!” Ground Zero laughs, almost a bit deranged as he grabs onto your waist and begins to plow into you. “I wonder to what lengths I can get you to speak! I want to hear you screaming for me, whore.”

It was then that he slammed his hand against your ass cheek, causing you to shriek while your skin throbbed in his wake. It was heavy-handed, the power he held in his hand while never doubted, didn’t make you think it was ever this much. The pleasure curled pain made your knees buckle, a hot pressure bursting in your core, and another loud slap repeated on the same throbbing cheek.

Fisting in your hair, you keened loudly when Ground Zero yanked your head back. The arch in your back was dramatized by this action; your back ached as another heavy slap echoed against your swelling skin. His dense, almost wild breathing hits the shell of your ear, and chills shoot down your spine when he snarls.

“Your cunt is so fucking tight, is whoever this getup for fuck you shitty too? Don’t tell me this fucking extra is the man you fuck in your bed?” he laughs, his foot stamping to the outside of your leg. The new position increases the range and the power of his thrusts, sending your body forward with every squelch bringing thrust. “I bet you’d like it if your stupid cock piece was here to watch how a real fucking man fucks, huh? You fucking would—” his hand comes down to wrap around your waist, pinching and tugging at your clit that’s thrumming with impending orgasm. Ignoring your growing pleads for more— “You like being an example to everyone in this fucking shit room of how to be fucked correctly! I bet you’re actually liking the way they’re judging you and your tight, wet cunt.”

The next powerful thrust that has his balls smacking your skin nearly sends you tumbling over at the strength and power behind it. Your arms buckle under you, the weight and struggle to keep yourself upright was a challenge as Ground Zero abused your clit and cunt.

“Answer me, fucking whore.”

There was no stopping Ground Zero’s heavy hand against your pert ass, and you could not think of anything but how your cunt throbbed for the man behind you. Your sobs of pain had long ago become those of pleasure, and you could feel the raised prints of his hands on your sore cheeks. It was true; it delighted you.

“Y-Yes, I like being fucked by you!” you finally break crying, your body trembling in your excitement and need for more. “I like them watching as you fuck me! You fuck me so good!”

“Glad you could finally admit it because your cunt is so fucking wet right now I’m sure everyone else already knew,” he sneers while he rubs circles against your heated skin. “You’re trembling with excitement as you try telling me you don’t want me to fuck you. I can see you choking back your cries of pleasure, the fuck you take me for? Do you want me to leave you without an orgasm?”

“N-No!” you sob pathetically, arms pathetically stretching behind you to keep him thrusting faster into you. “D-Don’t leave me until I-I cum!”

Your words were loud, letting everyone know just how much you wanted this, just enough for the man before you to groan as he came, and you thanked Ground Zero as you trembled like a leaf before him. His upper lip pulled back into a smirk as he let go of your hair, letting your head drop back onto the floor, and his fingers go and pinch your nether lips, and you cried loudly.

“I know you can fucking scream louder than that. I want the entire fucking world to know who’s fucking you right now.”

The words were honey to your ear, and you shifted in an attempt to ease the growing lust between your legs.

Slap.

“Fuck me! Fuck me harder! Please, Ground Zero, don’t stop, don’t stop, don’t stop!” you babble, your tongue falling from your mouths as you pant like a bitch in heat, your body convulsing and shaking with need and heightening lust.

Your mind reeled as Ground Zero continued his conquest against your cunt. You could barely count the number of times he drilled his cock straight into your heat, the tip of his cock pressing into your cervix over and over. The added sensation of his fingers manipulating your clit, and shoving into your mouth to tug on your tongue as you began to grow too loud made you dizzy. Your ass and thighs were undoubtedly bright red and in the air, back arched further than you had ever gone, and saliva and tears seeping onto the marble floor.

“You’re so fucking wet,” he cheers as he repositions the angle in which he’s driving into you, and your ragged moans fill the area at the need of more. He continued fucking you, and while feeling finally returned to your abused ass, your hips finally began to buck against his commanding hips, trying to get the echoing slaps to grew even louder. “Such a greedy little slut.”

Gritting your teeth, you continued pushing against him, craving more heat, power, and pain.

“Is this not good enough for you?” Ground Zero chuckles, but there’s no light humor to his laughter. “Good.”

At that phrase, Ground Zero slams into you with the power and force you had yet to experience. Causing you to howl in your throbbing lust, your mind more a second snapping back out of its haze as you feel his cock twitch within you. Your breathing is harsh as you try to look at Ground Zero, finally trying to take a glance at how he looked. You wondered if he was as unhinged as you felt, as savage as you imagined with his lustful red eyes.

“Where is it at?” Ground Zero barked over at Togeike.

“I-It’s at 97%!” she stammered, shame dripping from her voice, and you had half a mind to wonder if they were all turned on too.

Maybe they were jealous of the fat cock claiming you, and you mewl in the thought, your back bristling as you slammed back onto his drilling cock. You wanted more from him, craved more from him. The coil in your belly still yet to be undone, but you were not going to let it snap anytime soon.

“Gotta fucking make this little slut cum soon then, huh?” Ground Zero grinned, and you felt his teeth bare into the back of your neck in a flash of throbbing, burning pain.

You cried.

The angle and power behind these growing sloppy thrusts were different than what you were used to. It was deranged almost, your body shifting with each thrust, nearly toppling over as Ground Zero claimed you with his teeth and his cock. With each hypnotizing slam of his hips, ringing moans of pleasures ripped from your throat, and you brought your arms as best you could to his waist to keep him there.

Sweat dripped down Ground Zero’s neck, his hands gripping your bruised and battered ass like some type of life support, and the squelching noises of your slamming sex were making your body weak.

“Please — fuck — do that! Do that again, please!” you screamed when a vein in his cock dragged against your pulsating, puffy walls, at the same time he pushed against your cervix.

“Such—” thrust— “A—” thrust— “Fucking—” thrust— “Whore!” thrust! “Who do you fucking belong to?!”

“Y-You, Ground Zero!” you scream, your hips buck against his slamming hips. It was so raw, so rough, and you were enjoying every passing second. “I belong to you! I’m your fucking whore, please fill me with your cum! Cum in me, please cum in me!”

Ground Zero preens at your praise, all while he continues to fuck you roughly. He was in his zone, his concentration like steel as he pounded into you again and again. Your inner walls clenched and spasmed against his penetrating cock, and the heated pressure now spilling over.

His cock twitched within you. It knocked the breath out of you; his fingers twisted into your hair.

“Fucking cum with me,” he demands, jerking your head back towards him again, and you sob as your legs tremble against his increasing power.

You feel your eyes cross, screaming out his name as your walls clamp down fiercely against his length, and you orgasm roughly, your body shaking and spasming uncontrollably as you scream his name. Ground Zero curses loudly, slamming into you one last time with the power and tenacity of an army as he lets out a string of curses, and you moan, knowing that he came in you.

“Such a good slut,” Ground Zero grins as you can feel your eyes fluttering shut, physical and mental exhaustion now catching up with you. “Sleep now, I’m not done with you.”

You couldn’t gather the energy to speak back, your world blacking out with the sounds of sobs, screams, and more gunshots.

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You wake up in a car.

The warm, gentle wind caressing your face as the world is quiet. It's calm, pleasant, pleasing. Your pink wig is on your knees, slightly ruined with blood, sweat, tears, and drool.

You sigh, your body throbbing with different pain as you look to your right at who’s driving.

It’s Ground Zero, or as you know him: Bakugou Katsuki.

His arms are covered now, the old black op outfit changed for a pair of black slacks and a red button-down shirt. You would have no idea he was the man who stormed into Yaoyorozu Bankings earlier that day.

“Good morning,” you sigh, reaching against the seat to press a gentle kiss to the corner of his mouth.

Bakugou looks at you with a smirk, reaching towards you for a real kiss as he continues to drive. You can tell you’re in comfortable clothes, ointment on any potentially worrisome wounds he had inflicted on you while wrapped up in your twisted fantasy of yours.

“Nice to see you up,” he gruffs, his voice rough from his overuse in the bank.

“Did we get it?” you ask, head pressing to his shoulder, and with a chuckle, he raised the black USB.

“Damn fucking right we did, y/n.”

“Perfect.”

It goes without saying that despite the sheer brilliance of Bakugou’s work as Ground Zero, he would have never pulled off such crimes without you. His pretty, small girlfriend, who always played a victim of his lust at his operations just for good measure. It was a fun life both of you lived.

You looked at the expensive Cartier watch on your wrist, a beautiful gift he had gotten you after your first successive robbery. It had also been programmed for you to communicate with Bakugou on how many guards there were on the floor.

“I love you.”

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arrière-pensée: a concealed thought or intention; an ulterior motive.

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tags in comments, theres too many of you.

#bakugou x reader #bakugou smut #bnha #mha #bnha x reader #bbs kinktober 2020 #bakugou katsuki x reader

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bts-weverse-trans · 3 years

Photo

201128 Weverse Magazine ‘BE’ Comeback Interview - Namjoon

RM: “I spend a lot of time thinking about where I am now” BTS BE comeback interview 2020.11.28

The story of BTS’ new album BE started on April 17, 2020 when group member RM announced its production on the BANGTANTV YouTube channel. In the seven months that followed until the album’s release, RM’s mind was full, his thoughts flowing in and out of his head.

How do you feel about the unique approach you took to making your new album, BE? RM: The other members were a ton of help to me. My lyrics made it on the album, but the music I composed didn’t, so I’m really thankful to the group for the music. How should I say this? I feel like everyone is doing a great job. There are so many parts in these songs that I’m indebted to them for. “Stay” was originally going to be the title song on Jung Kook’s mixtape, but everyone liked it so much, and they all agreed to put that on our album. That’s how much influence they had. I’m really happy my room idea was chosen to be the album photos. Since we’re spending a lot of time in our rooms because of COVID-19, we laid out the idea of each of us decorating a room in our own style. I can’t remember for sure (laughs) but I think I’m the one who came up with that. I made a comfortable room, one that’s modern and warm because that’s what I like.

There’s a painting in the middle, and symmetrically arranged figurines. RM: The figures are from my own collection. I wanted to show one of my paintings, but that didn’t pan out. But still, those are the things I hold most dear to me right now, so I let the room embody the things I wish I had, too.

It’s well known that you like art and frequent exhibitions, but how do you feel when you look at art in your home or another space where there are no people, like in the album art? RM: Someone said, “You don’t have to buy this painting; it’s yours so long as you’re looking at it.” That’s my favorite sound bite these days. What I most envied about painters was that, even after they died, their work would be hanging up somewhere, maybe even in another country, still defining that space. Musicians leave behind their songs and videos, too, but it’s only through fine art that viewers in the future are able to completely meet artists from the past. I’m envious that this is only possible for painters. These days I’m trying to find spaces where I can have more relaxed viewing experiences.

There’s a full experience involved, from the time you get ready to leave your house until the time you’re actually looking at artwork in the gallery. RM: That’s perfect to me. There’s art you can keep at home, and then there’s art that should always be viewed in museums.

What effect do you think that type of experience has on your music? You didn’t compose any of the songs but instead participated in writing the lyrics to all of the tracks. Did that experience affect your lyric writing in any way? RM: I think it’s helped me develop a way of thinking using all the senses. I used to be attuned to speech and focus on language and auditory textures, but now I can look at my thoughts from many different angles. That’s why I spend more time studying art now. I’m waiting for the day that it all comes to the surface, like when you paint the base on a canvas over and over so the colors pop. It’s hard to answer in one word if it has a direct influence on my work, but I think people who create music develop a way of seeing the world through their personal experience and their creative process. Painters naturally exhibit their art over a very long period of time. I think it gave me an eye for looking at the world in one long, continuous stroke. So now it’s become a little challenging for me to write lyrics these days. I’ve become more cautious.

Why is it so challenging? RM: I used to have so many ideas pouring out that it was hard to pluck one out. So I would stack them up like a Jenga tower and ponder over which one to remove. But now, it’s hard to even add a block to the stack. I’m not sure why but, when I look at these artists whose works span their entire lives, I sense that the rhythm of my creativity is slowing down more and more. That’s the source of my dilemma. I’m only 27 years old. I still need to wander around and get tripped up a little. But am I just trying to imitate what the fine artists are doing? Or maybe BTS experienced so much in the past seven years, that now it’s time for us to take a breather? I’ve got so many questions, I feel like my hair’s turning white. That’s why none of my songs are on the album. I wrote some, but they were too personal to use there. I don’t exactly like myself like this, but I have to see through to the end in this direction and find the answer.

Maybe for that reason, your rapping has shifted focus to the lyrics more so than trend or musicality. It emphasizes the feeling of the words over a particular format or beat. RM: Exactly. In—was it 2017? Pdogg was talking to Yoongi, Hobi and me about our style, and said, “Namjoon, it feels like you’re becoming a lyricist,” and it really stuck with me. I have a lot of thoughts lately when I watch Show Me the Money or listen to hip hop songs from the Billboard chart. My music started out all about my life as a rapper, so I spend a lot of time thinking about where I am now.

So you’ve started to ask yourself who you are as a musician? RM: I listened to Lee So-ra’s seventh album again today. I keep changing my mind but, if I had to pick between her sixth and seventh album, I like her seventh a little more. And then I listen to the most popular songs on Billboard, and I feel kind of thrown off. Um … There’s something Whanki Kim said that’s been running around in my head lately: After moving to New York, he embraced the style of artists like Mark Rothko and Adolf Gottlieb, but then he said, “I’m Korean, and I can’t do anything not Korean. I can’t do anything apart from this, because I am an outsider.” And I keep thinking that way, too. That’s my main concern lately.

You can feel that on BE. As the members take on more prominent roles as songwriters and producers, characteristics of old Korean music—the kind of music you likely listened to in middle and high school—gradually entered your sound. But your music isn’t from that era, and it sounds like pop, but not quite. RM: The sound has to fit with the whole album so I couldn’t incorporate that feel into BTS songs, but the songs I’m listening to most lately have been Korean. Songs like P-Type’s “Don Quixote,” Dead’P’s “Spread My Wings,” Soul Company’s album The Bangerz. The impressions the songs from back then have left on me, the lyrics from back then and the lyrics from now, they’re different. So BE is both Korean and pop; it’s very unique, in my view.

I think that’s especially true for “Life Goes On.” It’s got a pop melody, but compared to “Dynamite,” it has a very different feel. It doesn’t slip deep into the sentimental, instead allowing the melody to flow naturally. RM: Exactly. The chorus is totally pop, and one of the writers was also American. But the song doesn’t really follow American music trends, weirdly. So I don’t know how “Life Goes On” is going to be received. It’s really calm, almost contemplative. So there’s lyrics, like, “Like an echo in the forest,” and, “Like an arrow in the blue sky.” The song kind of feels like that: It could just float off and disappear. It might even come off as bland next to “Dynamite.”

If nothing else, it seems the song will stick around for a long time. Maybe kids now will listen to it later on in the future. RM: I hope so. That’s the one thing I really hope for, people in the future, thinking back and saying, “Oh, right! Remember that one song?” That’s what my favorite artists and other people who leave a lasting impression on me have in common. One thing common among the songs that have affected me a lot, like Lee So-ra’s seventh album, is that the lyrics they utter in their voice along with the overall sound stick with me. I hope when people look back, my words uttered with the sound of my voice, echoes for a long time in an auditory or visual way, or even throughout their entire lives. But that’s the dilemma: We have all these bling-bling symbols of our success, but we’re not that kind of team.

And yet, BTS’s career path is even more “bling-bling” than ever. “Dynamite” was the top song on the Billboard Hot 100. RM: I was the first one to check our position (laughs) but I didn’t want to get too excited about it. I was scared of facing disappointment so I put the brakes on out of habit, and restrained myself. But on the other hand, I feel like I should relish this moment. This is a once-in-a-lifetime thing; shouldn’t I enjoy myself a bit? But I disliked that sensation of only feeling elated so I tried to be as objective as possible. I was just one small part of everything that made this happen.

It reminds me of that part, “Running faster than that cloud of rain / Thought that would be enough / Guess I’m only human after all,” from “Life Goes On.” RM: “Only human” sounds so appropriate for me right now. One time, I saw a dark cloud over the N Seoul Tower while I was walking along the Han River. I was with a friend and we talked about where the border between where it’s raining and where it’s not might be, and suddenly, we came up with the idea to run and find that spot. But after running for 10 minutes, the cloud was even further away than it had been. At that moment, the puzzle pieces snapped into place. You think you can go faster than that dark cloud? No. That’s what I realized then. And I just like what Whanki Kim said, that maybe I can’t do anything not Korean, because that’s what I am. I used to work late and then stay up all night when things weren’t working out, sometimes walking from Samseong to Sinsa station, thinking everything through. But now, like the saying, I realize that maybe I can’t do more than what I am.

On Weverse, you said that you gained some muscle from working out. Could the change to your body improve your creativity in the long term? RM: I started to think I better change myself a little, physically or mentally. I’m talking about being steady. I used to bombard myself with challenges and worries and just get over them, but now I think it’s time to find that one sturdy thing and plant myself there. The best choice was working out, and I think it’s changing my behavior a lot. I’m hoping that, if I keep working out for a year or two, I’ll become a different person.

Music is your job, but also your life. Like you expressed in “Dis-ease,” how would you say you feel about your work? RM: This is my job and my calling and I feel a great sense of responsibility. I think I’m lucky and happy that I can solely worry about my creative process. And I feel very responsible to those people who put their trust in me, so I try not to cross any lines, judge myself honestly, and always be professional. Those are the responsibilities that come with the job—the things I have to do and the promises I won’t betray. But if I’m going to do it, I’m going to be happy while I do it. That’s not always going to be possible, but that’s generally how I feel.

Well then, how do you feel about BTS at the moment? RM: BTS is … Well, it’s really hard to tell. (laughs) When BTS started out, I thought, “I know everything there is to know about BTS,” but now it’s, “I don’t know a single thing about BTS.” In the past, I felt like I knew everything, and that anything was possible. Call it childish or ambitious. But if I were to ask myself, “What is BTS to me?” I would say, we’re just people who met each other because we were meant to. But it feels like the stars aligned and a startup company became a unicorn, with perfect timing and lots of smart people. Looking back, there were a lot of ironies and contradictions in this industry. I thought I figured them out one by one, and then finally understood the whole thing. But now I feel like I don’t know anything at all. Anyway, to sum up: My young, reckless twenties. The events of my twenties. There were a lot of contradictions, people, fame, and conflict all tangled together, but it was my choice and I got a lot out of it, so my twenties were an intense but also happy time.

And what about you, as one individual person? RM: I’m a real Korean person. (laughs) A person who wants to do something in Korea. I think millennials are charging into society stuck between the analog and digital generations, and what I chose is BTS. So I try to integrate myself into our generation, try to understand what people like me are thinking, and try to work hard to capture that feeling without being a burden on them. This might be another kind of irony itself, but this is who I am. I’m a 27-year-old Korean. That’s what I think.

Trans © Weverse

#bangtan #namjoon #weverse #weverse magazine #comeback interview #be album #201128 #2020

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ignitification · 3 years

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Midoriya Izuku - Green for Hope, Red for Burning Passion

I always asked myself why exactly Horikoshi has changed Midoriya's character design so drastically.

Indeed, we go from a character called Yamikumo who looks like a feral child with the bad habit of eating his nails off, and drinks more coffee than humanly possible to an anxious bunny who smiles awkwardly and does not know how to accept compliments.

To me, the difference is absolutely insane. Izuku's hair and eyes are uniform and reflect his character and surname. However, a thing that I find peculiar is how the dark (Black/Green) and the Red theme are a constant throughout particular tellings of his character.

The legendary red shoes are one of Deku's main features. It's part of his character. However, I just got to think why exactly (especially having an idea on why was green used for him) and I think that the answer might be very very banal. However, I do think that this is not the only reason.

First of all, there is the most simple reason which I could think of: Midoriya Izuku is described as plain. In my opinion, plain does not really define Midoriya but the concept of him being bland and capable of melting into background is fundamental to express him in the most little details (however, there are few things which inwardly contradict this description: first and foremost his freckles). But as it might be, and Midoriya is indeed considered not worthy look at for more than once (at least as described in the manga - which is also one of the reason why his design has been changed so much, as Yamikumo had literally zero chance to go unnoticed), it appears clear how this suppression of character, of wanting to relegate Mido to a background role is what instead pushes Izuku forward to make a bold choice of something like wearing red shoes. They are strikingly particular, and noticeable: which means that Midoriya is not happy about being an npc, but instead wants to be noticed and in some way stand out.

The second reason, which I mulled over if was relevant enough is All Might. A recurrent color in all All Might's costumes is Red (and Blue, which kind of reminds of Superman and the American Flag. A fact that I found interesting as well if how AM wears Blue, Yellow and Red while Midoriya wears Green and Red, and of course Blue and Yellow together form Green).

And finally the third and final reason (at least, for now) is that Red, as a colour reminds Deku of Kacchan (even if arguably, we see in the first panel of the manga how Izuku wore already his shoes so this might be false and instead it might refer to the fact that Red is Izuku’s favourite colour only), who we know he associates with victory. As the mental image of Kacchan, who was red eyes, is his substitute for him being able to stand proud, strong and capable to win, Izuku might want to express this strive to be strong.

But what do these two colours mean, stand alone ?

As for Green: this colour, in different cultures, is associated with "Hope" . I think here the main gist and general going is that Midoriya represents Hope for the Heroes, Hope for the Unwanted, the Broken and the Damned (the Villains). I talked about Izuku being a Symbol of the New Society here, but in short, with Izuku Midoriya being fundamentally associated to the colour green, I think Horikoshi wants to express two things: how Izuku never loses hope (to be a hero, to have a quirk, to be a friend to Katsuki who bullied him for years or Shouto who straight up challenged him even before getting to know him, to reach and to save everyone) and how he represents and spreads hope for others (Eri, Kouta, the same Todoroki and Katsuki).

Green indicates life, renewal, harmony and safety. Which, in this sense, points out Izuku's nature as a person and how he is bound to feel restless unless he provides comfort to everyone, and that desire to save desperately anyone who he can reach. Green is a calming and soothing colour. It also stands for prosperity, freshness and progress - which point out not only the conclusion of Deku being N1 Hero, but as well at him 'changing up' the society and becoming the Symbol of Hope and Change (on which I briefly touched upon here).

However, on a negative side it also stands for Greed (wanting to be a hero and follow AM steps even when he had a hard time adapting his body to his new quirk) and Envy (Bakugō first and foremost and the generally heroes and those who has time to wield their power properly). In this negative meaning of the colour, I think Izuku’s selfless nature comes to the surface even more: how he feels bound to feel negative emotions which spur his renewal and development (after all, he did unlock Black Whip after Monoma had insulted Bakugou), but at the same time use this emotion toward a bigger goal (him being mad at Shigaraki, but at the same time wanting to save him - I wrote about this too here).

Green, is, finally, the colour of the Heart chakra: an expression of how Midoriya puts everything before him, because his heart cannot take the selfishness of thinking of himself first, which also come hand in hand with his sacrificing nature and reminds of his name meaning and the association made with the number 9. Indeed, “Opening the Heart chakra allows a person to love more, empathise, and feel compassion” - which in short, stands for an externalisation of Mido’s personality.

On a shorter note, in Japan, the colour green represents youth, eternity, vitality and energy - which, in its own way is both a confirmation and a denial to other references made in Izuku’s character, such as his dangerous nature, him not being concentrated to live on for more than he is allowed to fulfil his duty (him being tied to number 9 and so on), and at the same time it reminds us of OfA, as it gains more power and energy and at his cheery, youthful persona.

As for Red, as the colour of Blood, it also stands to indicate '' Danger, Sacrifice, Courage" (which reconnects to his name's theory and numerology, of which I talked about here, in short).

In addition, red is usually used to professionally gain attention (it's hard to miss something so bright) and convey confidence. We know for a fact that Deku has been wearing red shoes since he was a kid (or at least, since he met Bakugō, which coincides with Izuku being four) and that despite being Quirkless, he always showed courage in standing out to people even when they thought of him as 'inferior' because on his unusual condition.

Among other negative meaning, there is an overflow of temper, anger, agitation, and overbearing, demanding and oppressive behaviours. As clear as day, these characteristics relate more to fiery Katsuki than Deku, but as stated before, Deku puts Katsuki as model and adapts his combat style to resemble Katsuki’s. So, this overflow of energy and action is a double-edged sword which affects both Katsuki and Izuku in different ways (and is mellowed out in Izuku’s character by his other soothing characteristics , but more on that later).

Also, Red, in Asia is a lucky colour which might (or not) hint at how, despite everything Izuku got his 'lucky' chance to inherit AM's power and follow his dream of becoming a hero. Particularly, in Japan this colour is associated and denotes strength, passion, self-sacrifice. A transmission of feeling as complex and empowering as the ones Deku fills while he is living his everyday life as a future hero, summed to his nature and inherited quirk.

Red is also a magical and religious color. It symbolized super-human heroism to the Greeks and is the color of the Christian crucifixion, which might be as meaningless as other things, but in this case it might greatly relate to the type of enormous power Izuku tries to reign in, and to the self sacrificing spirit which he proves again and again.

So far, the meanings of the colours which have been associated with Deku are in line with his name, his personality and even the storyline which has been drawed out.

Among other meanings red represents power, courage, energy, passion, and creates physical effects such as enhanced metabolism, enthusiasm, higher level of energy (which comes back to the initial reasons on why Deku chooses Red as a distinct colour for himself and his shoes).

The color red is linked to the most primitive physical, emotional, and financial needs of survival and self-preservation.

Finally is also the colour of leadership, determination and courage. So in short, the colours red, where it indicates energy, action and strong emotion-filled desires and aspirations, is also weak to overbearing aspects which transform empowerment into negative traits (which is what, in the end, is represented by Bakugou). It is also strong-willed and can give confidence to those who are shy or lacking in will power (the shoes in Deku’s case).

Red is the colour of the First (or Spine) Chakra and usually allows a person to be grounded and connect to universal energies, while Green is the link between spiritual and material.

What do these two colours mean in association with each other?

Onto how these two colours are related to each other, especially considering the premises made, we see that Red (life-giving properties, trust, belonging and violence) and Green (health, eternity, youth and greed) are not only opposites, but they complete and balance each other out. Indeed, to reign over emotions and actions, to red is usually added green which indeed is a pain-relieving patch for red’s intensity (the theory of Bakugou and Deku being two sides of the same coin are thriving).

Midoriya Izuku is an intense person. His personality allows him to balance out his power with a selfless nature, and while he himself is sweet and caring, his fiery eyes (and shoes) express for him his utmost sincere feelings, which deep down are very telling. As mentioned before, Izuku responds to Monoma when he insults Bakugou and makes a jab at how actually Bakugou is the one who ultimately terminated AM, by unlocking a new dangerous and powerful quirk, which is so powerful and fiery, and red in his intensity, that they need Shinsou’s intervention to actually calm him down.

Izuku is a overly protective person: he has forgiveness as a foremost characteristic and even if he does mention how he will not forgive Shigaraki for what he has done, on second though he realises that even a ‘monster’ like Shigaraki deserves to be saved, and therefore his other nature takes over.

Therefore, the coexistence of these factors, and his personality are probably at the origin of why Midoriya has had such a drastic make-over before becoming Midoriya Izuku, and why the colours of Red and Green are fundamental in the description which lets us have a full picture of Midoriya as an individual: something who is full of hope and energy, striving to express whisk power and passion while trying to concern only himself with the danger that comes with his mission to save everyone.

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avintagekiss24 · 4 years

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SUNBEAMS & RHYTHMS || STEVE ROGERS; BUCKY BARNES

pairing: Steve Rogers x blind!black!reader x Bucky Barnes || word count: 5,414 || warnings: mentions of depression, mentions of anxiety, mentions of insomnia, mentions of suicidal/dark thoughts, mentions of surgery/side effects of surgery (seizures/medications), smut, sex, threesome (m/m/f), polyandry/polyamory || challenge: @jbbarnesnnoble mental health awareness month writing challenge - “the warmth of the sun fell over you like a blanket in the middle of winter.”

author’s note: this was such a great challenge, but please heed the warnings! we’re dealing with some sensitive issues in this one. I hope you guys like, and I also hope that I’ve handled this correctly! this is my first time writing a disabled reader. let me know what you think please :) and thank you all so much for all of the love since I've been back from my little hiatus! major inspiration from this post. I’m also getting used to a new laptop, so if there’s any weirdness in this post that’s why, lmaooo. okay, I'm done talking, enjoy!

The room is shrouded in darkness - but not that you’d notice anyway. Your body is covered by the thick duvet thrown over the bed, your face buried in your hands. A splitting headache forces your eyes closed, but you’re used to them. The headaches. They started a few years ago, out of nowhere - you just thought it was stress, or, maybe not getting enough sleep at night. You didn’t pay them any attention at first.

They got worse. They got to the point where you couldn’t get out of bed. Your vision would get blurry. Steve suggested a doctor - you said no, it’s just a migraine. You’d be fine. He insisted after a few more months went by, and your headaches got worse, your vision worse.

You still remember it like it was yesterday. You sat there, stunned into silence. Your whole body numb. Steve grabbed your left hand, Bucky your right, as the room started to spin - the doctor's voice fading away as she spoke. Brain tumor. It was so large now that it was pressing on your optic nerves, making you slowly go blind. Within months, purples and greens and blues and pinks were all replaced by nothing. Not even black - it was just nothing.

The last clear thing you remember seeing were the tears in Steve’s eyes and Bucky’s metal arm thrown over your hip as he held you tight. You had to squint to make everything out, but Steve’s eyes were shiny - cloudy - as the emotion trickled down his cheeks. You wiped them away slowly with your thumb as you tried to etch his face in your mind so you’d never forget it. You wanted each line, each crinkle, each little freckle to be ingrained in you. You’d already spent hours staring at Bucky, doing the same.

You made them smile - soft ones, toothy ones, lopsided ones, just so you could remember them. Both men obliged, although Steve clearly couldn’t stuff his grief and anger down as well as Bucky could. Bucky was angry with him at first - telling him to stay strong for you. Surgery wasn’t going to be easy, mentally, emotionally, physically - they needed to stay strong for you. You told him not to be so hard on Steve. You were all dealing with the death - of the person you were, your relationship as it was - he was allowed to grieve.

You woke up from the surgery a few days later, tumor free, but almost completely blind.

Everything was just different from that point on. The medication after the surgery did a number on you. The steroids made you irrationally angry and agitated. Insomnia kicked in, you couldn’t sleep for days on end, so they prescribed you a sleeping aid. You couldn’t tell if it were day or night, so on top of the insomnia, your circadian rhythm was fucked - more medication. Your balance was off, you were confused more times than you weren’t, you had a seizure or two - bad ones.

That’s when the depression seeped in. You missed who you used to be. You were fun. You were wild - that’s how you ended up in a relationship with two men in the first place. You had a great laugh. You couldn’t hold your liquor for shit, and you had a great sense of style. You loved everything and everyone and now, you’re just a shell of that person. You end up laying in bed most of the day, days on end, as dark thoughts swarm around you, consuming the last spots of light you have left.

You’re a burden to them, Steve and Bucky. They’ve both had to leave the team, not wanting to be far from you in case something happened. Steve turned his shield over to Sam immediately upon hearing the news. Bucky stayed on for a while longer but wouldn’t leave the country, until even that was too much for him. He’s been home full time for a few weeks now.

The headaches now are from the new crippling anxiety and stress that you live with constantly. You don’t bother to put on anything but old t-shirts and sweats because, what’s the point? You can’t even remember what your favorite clothes look like. One afternoon, in a fit of rage, you pulled every article of clothing from the hanger and made Bucky tell you what color it was before you threw it away. You could only imagine him standing there, his hands on his hips, his head down, his voice low as he rattled them off - red, pink, yellow with white polka dots, navy blue and white stripes.

Between the irrational anger, the headaches, the insomnia, the feeling that your floundering - sinking just below the endless, dark water - you just want to give up. You just want to close your eyes and float away. Make it all end.

You hear the door slide across the carpet as it opens, and then heavy steps before a massive weight presses into the mattress. The duvet starts to shift but you grab it, stopping it from sliding off of your head and groan loudly.

“Bucky,” you whine, “Please don’t.”

He chuckles, “How d’you know it was me?”

His body wash. You used to laugh at the differences between the two of them - like day and night almost; but their juxtaposition is what made them, them. Bucky always went for earthy tones; rich - scents and colors alike. Naturally, his preferred body wash was heavier than Steve’s, distinctly masculine. Steve always liked a hint of sweet.

“Baby,” Bucky’s voice is soft and airy, “You gotta get up.” You don’t respond. You draw your knees into your chest as you feel him shift behind you, “Come on baby. We have a surprise for you.”

“I don’t like surprises.”

You can sense the smile on his face. He shifts again and suddenly you feel those metal digits slide up your spine. Slowly, slowly, slowly, they creep along your back and up to the back of your neck where he scratches at your hairline. You hate how short it is, your hair. You were natural before, took the utmost care of it. Steve helped you shave it off before surgery. Now, between the medication making it brittle and quite frankly, the lack of care you have, Steve helps you keep it short.

You let out a breath as Bucky’s large hand sweeps over your head, cupping it underneath the duvet before his digits find your ear to pull gently, playfully on the lobe, “Please? For me?”

You sigh. You let him pull the duvet away from your face. You start to blink quickly; jump slightly when you suddenly feel his lips on your cheek. You’re still not used to it yet, your senses aren’t - they’re getting stronger, you just have to trust them. You can hear your therapist's words like she’s sitting in the room with you. You relax though, when his cheek rubs against yours as he wraps your body up in a tight hug. You even smile a little as he kisses down your neck and along your shoulder as he rubs your hip.

You reach for him, finding his chin with your fingers. The short hair that grows along the bottom half of his face is prickly - sharp. You walk your fingers along his jawline and cup his cheek as he moans into the crook of your neck.

“Where’s Steve?” You ask softly.

“Packing up the car.”

You roll slightly onto your back, blinking at the nothingness as your fingers still move along Bucky’s face. You raise your second hand, sliding it along his left cheek, feeling him. You push your fingers over his lips, tracing them as you try and figure out what he’s feeling. Your hands move upward, over his nose, up to his eyes where you feel the crinkles on either side of them. He’s smiling; it’s a big one.

“Steve is really excited.” He says.

You picture an excited Steve. The light that fills his brilliant, blue eyes, the whiteness of his toothy grin. God, you miss his face, “Where are we going?” You ask after a moment.

There’s another kiss pressed to your cheek before he sits up, gently pulling your arms with him, “That’s the surprise.”

You let him pull you up to your feet. There’s footsteps again, coming down the hall, “Buck,” Steve says.

“She’s up.”

You turn your head in the direction of the door, dropping your chin to your shoulder, listening as the steps draw nearer. You close your eyes again and let another small smile spread on your lips when you feel soft fingers, Steve’s fingers, start to massage your shoulders. He kisses the back of your head and then your temple.

“Feelin’ better?” He whispers.

“Not really,” you answer honestly. You’ve never lied to them, there’s no use in starting now.

Silence drops over the room. You’re sure that they’re exchanging a quiet conversation, their eyes bouncing back and forth between each other, “Guys?”

“Still here,” Bucky answers, “Hands up, let’s get you dressed.”

You oblige, lifting your arms over your head as he pulls his old t-shirt away from your body, “I can dress myself.”

“Just let us help you.” Steve says gently, his hands slipping into the sides of your sweats to push them down your legs, “You know we’ve always liked pampering you.”

That they have. It’s been a long time since you’ve let them. Their hands feel familiar but yet different - you weren’t really paying attention to the feel of them before. Now that it’s all you have, the feel, you notice the difference between the two of them. Steve’s hands are a little softer than Bucky’s, but he hasn’t worked in over a year, that’s what you suppose anyway. Punching people and gripping various guns and knives are killer on the hands.

Once you’re stripped naked, Bucky places your arms back by your sides. You feel Bucky’s hands (his are calloused still) on yours within seconds, then, a slick material against your fingers.

You squint, “Is that a bathing suit?”

“It is. Your favorite one. Remember what it looks like?”

“The blue one?”

“With the polka dots.” He presses it into your palm, letting you feel it, “The strapless one, that sinches in the middle of your chest.”

You smile a little as you run your fingers over it. The stomach is cut out, the waist high. You liked it because it made your ass and your boobs look incredible, “I love this one.”

He kneels in front of you, grabbing your hand and placing it on his shoulder as Steve places his hands on your hips - steadying you, in more ways than one. Bucky lifts your left leg by your ankle and helps you step into your bathing suit, then moves to the right foot, sliding the soft material up your legs. Once his hands reach your waist, Steve takes over, grabbing the suit and pulling it up the rest of the way, up over your chest. He kisses your neck as you adjust the top over your breasts.

“Thank you.” You offer gently.

Steve pushes your hands above your head again and slips something soft down your arms and over your head. Bucky grabs it and pulls it down your body, adjusting it slightly as you place your hands on your chest - feeling it. It’s a cover up, the white one you think; the one you got on your vacation in Maui. It has a stain on it. Steve knocked over the bottle of red wine the three of you were enjoying as the two of you danced on the patio of your ocean front room, Bucky watching you with a small, happy smile on his face.

“I like this one,” you say more to yourself than to them, “It makes my legs look long.”

“Your legs are long.” Steve chuckles, “Come on, shoes now.”

Once you're fully dressed, Steve takes your hand, starting to guide you towards the door. You slip out of his grasp, taking a breath, “I can do it.”

It’s thirty seven steps from here to the kitchen. That’s when you make a right and take fifteen more steps to make it to the garage door. From there, it’s five steps to the car, unless it’s backed out into the driveway - then it's between twenty two and twenty seven steps, depending on just where it’s parked. You’re getting the hang of things, no matter how much you hate it.

You feel them hovering behind you as you walk but they both respect your boundaries, letting you navigate the house without intervention. You slide your hands along the side of the car to the door handle and pull, the old door creaking just a little. Bucky isn’t much of a car guy, but Steve? This 1967 Chevy Impala was the only thing he and Tony could talk about without fighting. Steve gushed over it every time the three of you had dinner with Tony and Pepper. Then, one day, it was parked in front of the house with a simple note from Tony shoved underneath the windshield wipers - Capsicle, much like your face, I can’t stand to look at this any longer. Enjoy.

You slide into the seat and within seconds feel their thick bodies enveloping you, squeezing you between the two of them. The seat rumbles against your back as the car comes to life, the engine and mufflers loud as… you lift your hand to the shoulder on your left and run it the length of his arm, down to his wrist, gripping slightly as you go. It’s Steve, his arms are just a tad longer than Bucky’s you’re coming to find; more vascular.

You squint as the car backs down the driveway and the sun hits your face. You lift your hand, blocking the rays as you start to fumble around in front of you. You’re surprised at how sensitive your eyes have become to the UV rays. There’s a hand on yours, then your glasses pressed into your palm, the fingers not pulling away until you unfold them and slip them onto your face.

“Good?” Bucky asks.

You nod, “Good.”

The windows are down, the warm breeze whipping around you, caressing your skin. The radio is turned up - Dreams by Fleetwood Mac - as you drive. Bucky hums softly, his metal fingers linking with yours, his lips pressing against your temple every now and again. Steve taps along to the beat with his fingers against your bare, exposed knee before he squeezes it gently. You smile as you start to relax, Steve’s words coming back to you. Just let us help you. You know we’ve always liked pampering you.

You drive for a while, over an hour maybe. Then, the car slows as you turn and stays slow, creeping almost, like Steve’s looking for something. The car turns again and comes to a stop a second or two later. The engine dies, the two buff bodies shift away from you as the doors pop open. There’s a tap on your right shoulder. You reach out and feel on the forearm until you find a hand, Bucky, before he grabs tightly and helps you out.

“I’m gonna help you, okay?” His voice is soft as he rubs his chin against your shoulder.

“Okay.” You answer. You turn your head to your left and blink quickly, anxiety starting to rush through your veins from the unfamiliarity of your surroundings, “Steve?”

“Right here, baby.” His voice is soft too. You feel his fingertips brush along the inside of your left wrist, just to assure you he’s close, “You’re okay. I had to get the bags.”

Bucky slips his arm around your waist and keeps your hand in his as he guides you. You count each step. Bucky narrates every move - that you are in a garage, just about to enter a house. You’re in a small hallway, seven steps before a left turn, then you’re in the kitchen. There’s an island to your left, a kitchen table with four chairs on your right and if you keep walking straight, you’re in the living room. He lets you feel your way, reaching out to touch the walls, the backs of the chairs, the island, as he talks.

You stop when Bucky stops, and then hear something slide open before the sounds of water crashing fills your ears. You’re back outside, the warmth of the sun falling over you like a blanket in the middle of winter. A hand slips down your calf and wraps around your ankle before your foot is lifted and your shoe removed. A broad smile covers your face. You haven’t been to the beach since the diagnosis.

You take a step forward once you’re barefoot, one of them grabbing your wrist quickly, “There’s steps, babe.” Bucky says.

“How many?”

“Six.” Steve answers, “Here let me-”

“I got it.” You say dancing your fingers over the railing and taking small, cautious steps until you feel the first step, “I got it.”

They’re hovering again. You can’t see it, but Steve has both hands extending out on either side of you, ready to catch you if you stumble. Bucky jumps the railing entirely, landing softly in the sand and rushes to the bottom step, his eyes on you as you move down them slowly. When you step into the hot sand, your smile grows - if that’s even possible. You wiggle your toes as the grains slip between them and the waves continue to crash not far from where you stand.

Steve and Bucky keep their small distance from you as you walk towards the ocean’s edge, knowing you're close when the sand changes from loose and dry to stiff and wet. The water washes up over your feet, the smell of salt fills your nostrils, the random calls of seagulls both near and far ring in your ears. You grab the hem of your cover up and pull it over your head, discarding it onto the ground without a care as you move deeper into the water - a new purpose, new life flowing through your veins.

You don’t feel them hovering anymore. You guess they’ve both stopped at the water’s edge, soft smiles on their faces as they watch a wave crash into you, making you stumble. You laugh, loud and carefree, as you fall on your butt, the strength of the water pushing you around slightly. You don’t know it, but Bucky’s smile widens and Steve’s chin trembles as they watch you find a meaning again.

Tilting your head to the sky, you run your wet hands over your head before you wrap them around your legs, bringing them into your chest. You let the sun beat down on you. You let the water wash over you. You let the tears come. You let them slide down your cheeks and fall into the water. You let the ocean carry all of your tears, sadness, anxiety, and depression away from you and out into the abyss. You don’t want it back.

You lay out underneath the sun for hours, making peace with yourself, becoming one with the sand, water, and sun. Steve and Bucky keep a watchful eye until you call for them. Then, and only then do they approach, hands and fingers and lips all over your damp skin. They lay with you, staring up into the sky and calling out the shapes of the clouds. They play with you, splashing water in your face and pinching and tickling your sides as the three of you laugh loudly. Wildly.

You feel like yourself again.

When the sun sets, and the breeze rolling off of the water turns chilly, making chills run through you and bumps pop up on your skin, the three of you head back inside. Door dash brings you a quick dinner, which you all inhale before heading back into the bedroom to bathe. Bathtubs are rarely big enough for the three of you, but you always make it work - sitting in Bucky’s lap, your back to his chest, Steve at the other end.

Steve shaves your legs slowly, dropping kisses on the inside of your ankle as Bucky massages the shampoo into your short hair. Bucky taps underneath your chin before he pushes his index finger into it softly, tilting your head back. He pours warm water over your hair, sweeping his hand through it to push the suds away. Just let us help you. You know we’ve always liked pampering you.

You stay in the tub with your boys until the water runs cold. You’re wrapped up in a warm, fluffy towel, Bucky rubbing his hands up and down your arms trying to warm you up as you shiver and laugh at yourself. A song starts to play from somewhere in the house, slightly muffled as the sound passes through the walls and down the halls. Dream A Little Dream Of Me. The duet between Ella Fitzgerald and Louis Armstrong. Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes were long replaced by Captain America and The Winter Soldier by the time this version came out, but they love it all the same. It reminds them of home, they tell you.

You’re suddenly crushed against one of them - Steve. You know this because you run your hands along his chest to his shoulder, not feeling the jagged, deep scar where Bucky’s flesh meets metal. He grabs your small hand and places it to his chest as he sways with you, back and forth, turning in slow circles as Louis croons.

Stars fading, but I linger on, dear

Still craving your kiss

I'm longing to linger till dawn, dear

Just saying this

Steve spins you away from him and Bucky finds you, wrapping you up in his arms - an arm slung around your waist, fingers spread against your naked back as he holds your hand. You melt into him, humming softly as your toes brush against his, the soft sounds of your feet pushing along the hardwood floor beneath you adding a natural soundtrack.

Steve’s hands find your shoulders from behind. He presses his thumbs into your flesh as he squeezes and rubs slowly, his lips peppering your jaw and down your neck, “You’re so tense, baby.” He whispers.

“Depression will do that to you,” you chuckle, your new humor darker than what either one of them are used to. You feel them both stiffen at your words, hear a sad sigh from behind you, “Sorry. It was just a joke.”

“Don’t be sorry,” Bucky says, “We want to know what you're feeling, good, bad or indifferent. You don’t have to joke with us.”

You take a breath. You rest your head on his chest and start to chew on your bottom lip, “I know.” Your voice is small.

Defense mechanism.

You fight the urge to cry. Your eyes start to water, your skin starts to flush with heat, your jaw gets tight. Steve grabs the back of your neck gently as he kisses your shoulder blade gently, just wanting you to feel him. Bucky keeps dancing with you as the tears start to fall, cupping the back of your head in his large hand as he pushes his lips to your forehead.

What is it your therapist says? You aren’t in this alone, or something like that. You never believed her, or those words - until right now. Right in this moment. It’s been a year of self imposed loneliness. Dark thoughts accompanied by even darker impulsions of wanting to slip underneath the water and never resurface. Fear and anxiety telling you that you need to push away - they’ll both leave you one day for a resemblance of normalcy again.

They haven’t.

They won’t.

The days have turned into weeks, have turned into months - and here they are. Slow dancing with you in the moonlight as Ella Fitzgerald plays through the walls. Bucky wipes at your cheek with his thumb, pushing the emotion away. He nuzzles his cheek against yours as you reach up and scratch at the nape of his neck to calm yourself, “We aren’t going anywhere, doll.” He whispers.

“We promise.” Steve adds on.

You let out a breath that you didn’t know you were holding. Bucky tilts your head towards his and without a warning, his lips cover yours. Soft. Commanding. His velvet tongue massaging yours as Steve bites down on your shoulder.

The sheets of the bed are soon mangled and twisted, pillows cast to the floor as you writhe beneath Bucky’s heavy body. Your leg is thrown over his hip, your fingernails dig into his thick flesh, the tips of his long, soft, dark hair brushing over your face. You have your other arm draped over his neck as his hips push into yours, driving himself deeper and deeper into you. Your mouth hangs, as does his - lips brushing against each other, hot breath washing over each other's skin as you push your foreheads together.

Steve waits patiently, although his fingers dance over your breasts, his palms brushing over your nipples before he palms your skin. He squeezes and gropes before he sends his hand down your stomach and to your clit to rub gentle circles against it as Bucky pummels you. He’s on his side, his nose and forehead pressed against the side of your face, his bottom lip between his teeth before he nips at your jaw and chin.

He tears your hand away from Bucky’s body to grab his hard length, dragging your palm with his, down his shaft. He’s so warm. His tip wet from his arousal.

It’s been a long while since the three of you have made love. It’s been a long while since you’ve felt beautiful enough too. You hadn’t realized how much of your self esteem was wrapped up in your hair until you had to shave it off. You also weren’t sure if you’d like it the way you used to - handle it with the same confidence you once had. Not being able to see them - see their hard muscles and their strained faces while in the throws of passion. That’s what turned you on.

Not anymore.

It’s the way you can tell them apart without having to see them. It’s the feel of their bodies now, not the sight of them. How rough and dominant Bucky’s hips are in your darkness, how sweet and loving Steve’s touch is. Their sounds; both deep and desperate for you. How the sounds vibrate against your ear drums and skin, moving through you - the illicit response your body has to them - the sounds.

You slam your head back into the pillow as Bucky pulls out of you. You pant and moan as you arch your back from the mattress as they shift around. Steve’s lips, you know their Steve’s because they’re rushed; always rushing, rushing, rushing like he’s still a man running out of time, push against your stomach, light kisses moving down to your sex. He bends your legs back, your feet dangling by his ears as he nibbles on the inside of your thigh.

Bucky grabs your hand just as Steve pushes his nose through your folds and sucks you into his mouth. Bucky moves your hand down his hard stomach to his pulsing hips. You wrap your hand around his warmth and feel him pump up into it, a little grunt falling from his lips at the same time.

Steve hums as his tongue swirls around you, flicking and lapping at you as his index and middle fingers push into your cunt. You buck your hips into his face, using all of him, his chin, his lips, his nose to cop a feel as he sucks on you. He releases your flesh with a loud smack - then drags his wet mouth the length of your thigh, up to your knee, and along your calf as he sits up on his knees. He extends your leg, resting it against his chest and shoulder as he sucks your manicured toes into his mouth, his large hand caressing your calf.

Bucky growls as he sucks your taut nipple into his mouth and wraps his metal fingers around your throat. He then kisses your mouth, hard and desperate, moaning into you as he continues to push his hips into your warm hand and against your side. He squeezes, gently, slowly, causing you to gasp just as Steve pushes into your wet, slick, swollen cunt.

You groan into Bucky’s hot mouth as Steve starts to move. His thrusts are softer, gentler than Bucky’s - always have been. He keeps your leg curled over his shoulder, his lips peppering kisses along your ankle and calf, his other hand and fingers gripping your thigh. The cool metal of Bucky’s fingers skip over your hot skin, down between your breasts and to your stomach before he flattens his palm against you, pushing down to add some pressure.

Bucky bites your bottom lip, pulling softly before he lets go. He nuzzles back into the side of your face, the stubble on his cheek cutting across your skin. He wraps his hand around yours that still pumps his cock and glides it slowly up and down, up and down, up and down as he moans into your ear; heavy, hot breath caressing your neck and the side of your face.

Steve hits a spot; your toes curl. Your hips jerk - your muscles tense. Fingers begin to massage your clit, slow, slow, slow circles to draw out the sensation. Teeth nibble at your ear lobe. Fingers glance across your skin. Mouths and lips take turns on yours. Steve drives his hips harder and faster - pushing, pulling, pushing, pulling. Bucky breaths fire laced words, provoking you, prodding you, coercing you to just let it all go…

You shatter. It consumes every bit of you. Physically. Emotionally. Their hands and fingers are everywhere, gripping, pinching, holding as you come. Steve pulls out of you - he always liked to watch you come, how your sticky, swollen sex convulses with each contraction from your orgasm, your clit jumping. He pushes his fingers back through your folds as he pushes his cock inside of you again, also loving the squeeze.

You feel hot, quick bursts of silk, over and over, splash against your stomach. Bucky groans with each, right up against your ear, the sound vibrating through your entire body.

Heat then blooms inside of you - Steve. Your muscles constrict around him, pulling each warm, thick ribbon of cum from him, coating your walls. He pushes deep and grabs your hand, placing it right in the middle of his chest so you can feel his muscles tense and flex as he comes. Feel the soft rumble of the grunts that vibrate through his chest. Feel his heart.

He collapses beside you, your body bouncing against the mattress as his weight pushes against it. The three of you are nothing but heavy breaths and balmy skin. Eyelashes resting against your cheeks as your eyes close with the recession of your lust. A head rests on your chest. You lift your hand and slip your fingers through the tresses, finding them short and kind of wispy - Steve.

Metal fingers curl within yours, a sturdy leg thrown over your thighs. A hand splays across your chest. Lips connect with your shoulders and jaw - fingers massage and scratch at your scalp softly. It’s all a blur. The haze won’t let your brain try and figure out who is who; but maybe that’s the point. Maybe it’s what you need. You don’t need to know. You can let go some of the control that you’ve been so desperately searching for.

You inhale deeply; and let out the breath you’ve been holding for over a year.

Your delicate fingers are lifted and pressed against hot lips - each digit receiving a kiss before being placed on a chest. The thump thump thump of a heart beat drums against them. You let out another breath as you nuzzle into their heavy bodies, soft I love you’s passing back and forth. There’s a faint skip of the record player down the hall. The soft whoosh of the breeze playing with the open curtains that cover the windows. Three bodies huddled in the center of the bed; just breathing.

In and out.

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fyeah-bangtan7 · 3 years

Text

V: “I have a desire to perfect one cool thing about myself”

As he’s being interviewed, V speaks his mind at a relaxed pace. But there was one moment where he kept on speaking without taking a breath. Look for that moment in the interview below. You listen to a lot of old music on vinyl. Has any particular artist’s music excited you since your last interview with Weverse Magazine? V: I was listening to Louis Armstrong’s music again. And I picked up some albums with a pretty jacket that’s also got a lot of really good hits on it.

How do you feel when you’re listening to those classics? V: I feel like I’m beginning to relax a bit. If I listen to a song when I’m feeling depressed and then really get thinking, the things that are frustrating me disappear, and I can feel myself becoming more peaceful. And it makes me picture things in my head. For example, some songs might make me think of seeing something in front of me while walking down the road somewhere at night when I listen to them. I think setting the mood for listeners is the most important thing. The mood will presumably be different for everyone, but for me, those songs are the ones that are good at setting a really beautiful mood in the moment.

You said that you got inspiration from artists of the past like Sammy Davis Jr. for your performance in “Dynamite.” Was there any artist who inspired you for “Butter”? V: Well, there was Billy Joel. When I shoot a music video, I think of a movie more than any one artist. And when I perform on stage, for some songs I think of the way movies like Reservoir Dogs look. For “Butter,” I watched a lot of teen movies. And musicals. After that I randomly ended up seeing a video on YouTube of some scenes from an old teen movie Johnny Depp did [which turned out to be the movie Cry-Baby]. The image I got from that was really intense. That’s the look I used in “Butter.”

“Butter” felt like a teen musical to me and now I know why. V: I did it like a teen musical, just like you say. When we shot the “Butter” music video, I really, really tried to shoot the part in the elevator so it would feel like a teen movie. Although a lot of takes were edited, so not all of it’s there. (laughs)

What kind of feeling do you get from that kind of teen movie that you find so charming? V: For me, teen movies show a youthfulness that’s appropriate for the age. I think there’s an appropriate mix of emotion, energy, and a completely different and peculiar mood that everyone necessarily experiences at that age. If you watch teen movies, they’re overflowing with energy and full of sunny emotion, but behind it all they’re not as bright as they seem. They are really bright, but the color itself almost feels like some kind of filter. They feel like they have a different filter than other movies, so I tried thinking of teen movies when we shot the music video and put on performances.

That teen movie feeling seems to be divided in two between “Butter” and “Permission to Dance.” By the looks of the thumbnails for the fancam focus videos uploaded to the BANGTANTV YouTube channel, “Butter” seems to showcase a really cool character, while “Permission to Dance” is more teenagers smiling brightly for children. V: The teen movie vibe in “Butter” and “Permission to Dance” are different from one another. We showed the sunny image people usually think of when they think of teen movies in “Permission to Dance.”

Do you think that going with the teen movie vibe influenced your vocals to be the new style that you used? In “Butter,” you still had your signature vocals but without the deep notes, giving them a new feeling. V: That’s because, when we’re given a concept, we have to come up with vocals that fit with the concept. I think my singing style matched up with the concept, so I feel relatively satisfied. There was nothing majorly difficult about actually changing the style itself, since unlike changing your voice, you only have to change your vocal technique. Having said that, even though the notes in “Butter” were high for me, I still hit them! (laughs)

I guess hitting the high notes was your assignment this time around as a vocalist. V: I’ve been working a long time to make up for my weak points. For example, I thought I was weak when it comes to high notes because I sing low parts a lot and I tend to sing in a flowing way. But I had trouble when we were recording “Dynamite” and I had to sing the high notes during the chorus. I got so mad (laughs) so I practiced a lot.

How does it feel to see the results you’re seeing with “Butter” now after all that effort? V: I’m just trying not to rest on my laurels. Like instead of savoring the feeling, I feel like I should go to bed early for everything I have to do the next day? Getting back in tiptop shape quickly is what’s important, so I haven’t really had time to bask in the joy very much. I’m just working hard at the work I had like I always do.In your

New Year’s greeting on YouTube, you said you regretted not being able to put on the show for ARMY you wanted, and that your 2021 resolution is to “follow my own pace and pattern” when you work on music. Do you think your personal pace and your professional pace are in step this year? V: No. [My professional pace is] fast, so fast. (laughs) We have a lot we have to get ready for since we’re always promoting. It can be challenging sometimes, but in a way, I think it’s also given me a good opportunity to become a little stronger.

I imagine it’s meaningful to do the work for your own songs, because you can slip into your own world. You also made “Blue & Grey” when you were having a hard time, and it consequently became a song that allowed you to empathize with many people and vice versa. Looking back now, what kind of song do you think “Blue & Grey” will be remembered as? V: I think with “Blue & Grey” I just wanted the song to let people know how I was feeling, and how we were feeling, at that time a little better. Obviously everyone was having a hard time, but I think I wanted to share those emotions with ARMY as-is, including the pains we went through in our growth process. And, to put it another way, I think I just felt like making it obvious. (laughs) I thought it was okay to be that obvious, seeing as I couldn’t put those feelings into words. I just hope people could understand how I was feeling; it’s okay if it becomes forgotten later on.

In the “BE-hind Story” interview on YouTube, you talked about the first line of “Blue & Grey”: “Where is my angel?” You explained how, when you have any kind of issue, you close your eyes and wish for your angel to come and think. Are there times when it seems like your angel understands your feelings, as you just mentioned? V: I get a ton of answers by doing it. I’m not religious, but whenever I have some kind of issue, I close my eyes and think about it. Is this right, the way I’m thinking about this, or not? They’re just yes or no questions, like, Does my outfit look good today? Instead of just worrying about what you should do, if you tackle it in the form of a question, you get a response with the answer.

I guess it could work when you’re looking for inspiration in your life, but what about for your music? In your previous Weverse Magazine interview, you said you make a note whenever you feel something. V: I write in my diary in hopes that it’ll help with writing lyrics and so I don’t forget those feelings. I do it constantly—I open up my diary whenever something comes up. I copy melodies that pop up in my mind, lyrics, and other things from my diary to my notes app temporarily, and when I’m taking a break or I get the urge to work, I open my notes and say, Let’s try this out today, and run over to the studio.

You released “Snow Flower,” featuring Peakboy by V, on Christmas Day. Is that another song you ran to the studio to work on after the feeling came to you? V: For that song, when I was drinking with some older musicians, we were talking about doing a song together, and then we were like, Well, do you think we’ll have time to do that? So we decided to do it right then since everyone was available. My mixtape was delayed, so I at least wanted to play a different song for ARMY, and I thought, since I’m a bit tipsy (laughs) I thought I should try writing something. So I made the song really quickly. In maybe three hours.

Even though you made it quickly, the composition is somewhat complex and it has the same unique atmosphere that “Blue & Grey” did. V: There’s times when I’m, like, in the zone (laughs) and can make a song all in one sitting, but when I’m not feeling it, I end up revising it more and more. And I don’t want the composition to be too obvious, so I try to change up the way the melody flows. With that kind of sharp image coming to you almost immediately, what were you imagining for that song? V: You might think “Snow Flower” is about a type of snowflake, but I was actually thinking about snow and flowers separately. I started hoping that flowers wouldn’t wither away and just keep on blooming on snowy days. But in reality, when it snowed, all the flowers were crushed, the world became blanketed in snow, and I felt like the flower buds turned into snow flowers. I wrote that song about how I felt after watching that happen.

It must be important to feel things intuitively when you’re trying to express yourself through song. V: If it sounds pretty to me: approved. (laughs)

On the other hand, as a member of BTS, you have a job where you have to deal with a packed schedule and keep various situations in mind. How does that make you feel? When you celebrated your Billboard Hot 100 win on V LIVE and the topic of your clothes came up, you joked that you wore them to give off an idol vibe. V: It’s fun. It’s fun, but I could also say it’s hard. The performances are fun. I think idols should shine in a way that’s suitable for their age, and it’s important to do lots of things for fans like ARMY. Not just performances, but also posting pictures, having conversations on social media, making content. We’re artists and idols, so we think each and every one of those things is important. That sentiment won’t change just because we’ve achieved so much success.

You recently held an impromptu event on Weverse for ARMY. V: I’m sure there’s lots of ARMY out there who are tired of not being able to see us in person. But since the only thing we can do for them is to be on stage and stuff, I was worried that we’re not doing enough for them. And I love being able to talk with ARMY so much that now it’s like a habit that I read their posts. I have a thing today. I have a test today. I’m moving today. Somehow I feel better when I hear their stories. When I end up reading things like about how ARMY are living or what kind of lives ARMY have, I can’t help but write a response, and because of that ARMY respond, so I try to become friendlier in a more fun way, too. I want us to be more than the Billboard number one Bangtanies—I want to be ARMY’s partner, their best friend, the friend who’s always by their side when we’re not on stage. It feels like business when I talk about communicating with ARMY. (laughs) I just want to talk with a close friend. I wanna talk with a close friend—that’s exactly how I feel. It’s been a long time since I could see my friend, ARMY. Usually when friends can’t see each other they keep in touch all the time. I can talk about all kinds of things like that with ARMY thanks to the Weverse platform, and because I can hear all about their lives, I think I was able to go on Weverse and hold that kind of event.

You’ve been talking about ARMY nonstop for a few minutes. I was going to ask you how you feel about ARMY, but I think you already answered the question. (laughs) V: They’re just, well, friends I would hate to lose. Friends who seriously give me strength whenever they’re around. Sometimes you find friends like that in life. It’s like that with the other members, and I have other friends who I can share my feelings with. And I have ARMY. So I can’t help but do whatever I can do to make those people smile and make them feel happy.

Well then, is there a song you’ve heard that you want to let ARMY know about? A song that shares your feelings. V: Umm, recently … “No. 1 Party Anthem” by Arctic Monkeys. When I hear that song … I get emotional, somehow. I don’t usually listen to a lot of rock music, but I can instantly feel the band’s emotions with that song. I seriously get goosebumps listening to it, and emotional, and just all kinds of feelings. It’s to the point that, as soon as I hear that song, I think about how I really want to live well.

That song really means a lot to you. V: Actually, I don’t really know what’s up with that song. I don’t even know the lyrics, but I’m quite clear on what sort of emotions the melody and the band’s performance give me.

Don’t you feel like that’s an emotion you want to express to people, as an artist? Like you don’t have to explain your messages in detail? V: I don’t know. I just want to exchange the good, and be the one to embrace the bad. So I have a desire to perfect one cool thing about myself.

So how close do you think you are right now to becoming an artist who has perfected something cool? V: I’ll say 2%. It’ll go up someday later. (laughs)

#bangtan #v #m:weverse magazine #210729

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utterlyinevitable · 3 years

Text

The Conference (Part 9)

Paring: Dr. Ethan Ramsey x F!MC (Dr. Rebecca Lao) Word Count: 3.7k Rating: T+ Warning: Some cursing Summary: It’s the evening after the keynote and they go out for a civil dinner date.

A/N: shout out to ruby @starrystarrytrouble for reminding me people actually like reading this mess 💕

________________________________________

After we finished up the panel I stuck around the conference hall to network whilst Ethan had ditched the crowd at the first opportunity he got, heading back to our hotel room and venturing away from the pecking vultures. To be honest, I didn’t really blame him. Everyone wanted a piece of the poor, well-endowed man.

A couple hours later, I shuffled back into our apartment. My aching feet somehow prevailed without causing me to collapse on the odd geometric carpet floor, or ditching my heels along the way and walking barefoot like some uncultured frosh stumbling home at 3AM. Once through the heavy metal plated door, I headed straight to my room, not throwing a single pleasantry towards Ethan in the seating area. From what I could tell he was typing furiously on his laptop after nursing a scotch - the empty crystal tumbler on the table was a dead giveaway.

The anxiety and delirium inducing stress of the day lifted the second my kinda-sweaty body collapsed onto the private armchair in my room, clutching its aqua-colored arms and sinking into the velvet cushion. Staring out at the familiar skyline my mind started to replay the happenings of the day; every little thing that happened - from the confidence I felt during our speech, to the way that asshole called me out, and how Ethan stood up for me every step of the way. How proud he was even if he relayed the sentiment in such small words.

We survived today. We haven’t strangled each other nor suffered any little deaths. All that’s left for this trip is the tour we have tomorrow morning, and then we’ll be on our way back to Edenbrook. Back to the way things were…

Somehow my tired and self destructive brain decided it wanted to revel in the memories of the last few days. Thinking about all the non-work things that happened this trip. Thinking of all the words shared, and the blast from the past. And the revelation that little adventure birthed.

Fuck me...

Things are weird. Like, so weird. I don’t know what I’m doing or why I’m even thinking this… but I miss him. Today showed me how great we are together! Professionally and as friends. We’re the dynamic duo: Ramsey and his Rookie. His. I -

I need to stop thinking that.

I belong to myself. I do what I want when I want and with whom I want.

And so does he. And that’s why I walked away. I’m-

I’m still getting over him.

While simultaneously trying to get under him…

Thoughts wandered back to Ryan and how long it took me to get over the detrimental ‘what if’s of him. If I held on tighter and longer and didn’t get in the way of myself back then - if one thing was different - everything could be different.

A small, revelatory gasp escaped me.

I didn’t want things to be different.

After eight fucking years I finally understood.

If I didn’t love and lose Ryan I never would have found my way to Boston. To Ethan. And here - knowing what I do and having all the experiences of the last few months - I couldn’t continue a life without knowing Ethan Ramsey.

I’m going to do whatever I can to repair our friendship.

I changed my clothes into something not requiring heels - black skinny jeans, a blouse and my trusty Chelsea boots - and my hair pulled back into a bun. Simple, sleek, and completely me. No pomp and circumstance, or hiding behind anything. Just me, making an effort.

With all the determination I could muster I sauntered into the living room where I assumed Ethan would still be.

I was right; he hadn’t changed positions at all. Sitting there on the couch, his feet up on the gaudy footstool with his laptop perched on his lap, tortoise-patterned glasses framing his face, and furiously typing on the keyboard.

“So...” I trailed awkwardly to break the tension surrounding him, leaning against the wall with my hands stuffed in my armpits. “What do you want to do for dinner?”

“Oh,” He planted his feet on the floor and turned to face me fully, moving his laptop off of him and folding his arms in his lap. “Uh, well-”

Quickly I added, “If you’d rather eat alone it’s fine by me. I was thinking of grabbing pizza at John’s.”

Ethan nodded in response, saying, “Sounds good.”

“Cool,” I nodded back. “You ready or…?”

“Let me grab my things,” he stood, collected his things and headed to his room.

Less than two minutes later we headed out of the apartment together, walking side by side. Though this time wasn’t like earlier. There wasn’t the blind determination and need to impress like this morning. Right now we were two people who used to know one another going out to dinner in a spectacular converted synagogue.

***

For anyone who doesn’t know John’s, it’s a local family-style pizza joint. There’s three restaurants around the city and the Times Square location is by far the best. Every time I have a hot minute to spare I try to go - the stained glass and craftsmanship of the building is everything! But you don’t want to hear about that… and neither did Ethan when I tried to fill the silence during our walk with all the reasons to love this place. For some reason he preferred to barge and weave in silence.

Whatever.

Lucky enough he was more chatty once we were seated.

Our table was in the mezzanine with not much of a view besides the stone staircase in the corner and the large dome towering above. The dim lighting complimented the deep wooden table and beige upholstered seating.

We ordered. And without the menu to keep our attention, I tried my hand at conversation once more.

“Be honest, how did we do?”

Looking me in the eyes, ones that mirrored mine, showed such confidence and pride as he said his next words;

“You handled it well, Becca.” There was a tug at the corners of his mouth that pulled at my own. I was about to get a rare Ramsey smile - one I’ve been devoid of for far too long.

“Dare I even say, like a natural.”

I got to revel in the small compliment for a few moments as the server brought over our food - garlic knots, small veggie pizza, and a chef’s side salad.

“I didn’t stutter too much or come off too young?” I couldn’t help but ask when it was just us two again. His opinion matters more than anyone else’s when it comes to my career.

“You did.”

“But you -”

He cut me off, a slight shake of his big head, “You are young and this was your first keynote.” he clarified. And once more he said pridefully, “You did well.”

After what felt like ages we shared a private smile. How he was able to bring me back into myself with a few words and stop fussing over imposter syndrome is a wonder.

“Now eat some pizza and be happy.”

My smile grew to a goofy one by the way he was looking at me, bemused. I refrained from sticking my tongue out and dug into a little slice of heaven. “Don’t have to tell me twice.”

We dug in. Letting the flavors dance over my taste buds and make me only as happy as a New York slice could make me. No amount of fantastic sex could compare to pizza. Everything kind of disappeared - time stopped while the first bites settled in my tummy. Even Ethan looked to be enjoying it even though it’s not fancy smancy and artery clogging.

Eventually I broke our companioned silence;

“How was lunch with Chief Fredericks?” I asked as I reached for a scrumptious ball of garlicy dough.

The response left his lips so swiftly he didn’t even bother to look up from his plate;

“Informative.”

I scoffed at the non-answer answer.

My little grumble pulled him out of his bubble and he looked over at me - those damn baby blues challenging my thoughtfully indecent outburst. I just gave him a look right back.

Ethan rolled his eyes and reached for another slice. Cutting it up with a fork and knife like an absolute weirdo.

“He heard about the state budget cuts. Wanted to know what I think and if I’d be open to consult every so often.”

“And?” I probed.

“And what? You know how I feel about the future of Edenbrook.”

“Yes. But if it goes under, what do you think you’ll do? I mean, everyone’s going to be throwing themselves at you.”

I shoved some greenery in my gob to keep from adding the jarring truth.

Everyone throws themselves at you.

But who he gives his attention to is another story.

Ethan shrugged ever so nonchalantly, “I haven’t thought about it.”

The cavalier way he was speaking of his life after Edenbrook had thrown me off. Ethan was never this laid-back. It just wasn’t in his nature. There’s always something for this man to stress over. And Edenbrook’s closing should be his anxiety numero uno.

But here he was, ever so calm.

Hmm...

“Are you in denial?” I said through a bite, fully anticipating another non-answer.

“Maybe.”

The way he said it took me aback. It was inherently honest and soft. All of his jagged features were rounded and there was a dulled little twinkle in his eye.

Yeah, something’s going on here he’s not telling me.

“Ethan -”

And of course he deflects by turning the conversation on me; “What are you going to do?”

Keeping from rolling my eyes at his obvious deflection from roaming into his feelings deeper, I replied, “Transfer my residency.”

“Where?”

“I…” - dammit - “don’t know.”

I haven’t really dwelled on what happens when the hospital closes. Obviously I need to finish residency if I want to be an actual practicing doctor. But the matching process can go screw itself. I don’t never ever want to do that again - all I cared about was matching with the best. And I did. So who’s the second best now?

Is it wherever he goes?

There’s just so much to think about, and I’d really rather not. Not until the last few nails are lined up against the coffin.

“See,” he said with a hint of a lopsided grin, “Neither of us are ready to leave Edenbrook behind.”

He was right. Of course he’s right. You didn’t need to be a diagnostician or even a doctor to see that we’re holding out hope of a buyout.

I’ve just gotten to Edenbrook - only a few months into my dream career with my dream boss - and now, what? It’s all over before it even really began? No. I can’t accept that.

There was a beat of silence as we both reached for the salad tongs, our hands brushing on accident. Both our eyes shot to bear witness to the contact, pulling us out of whatever ran wild through our thoughts and into this new, secluded moment. Everything around us dulled in the distance; the sounds swirling in the air muted and like a faint breeze. The warm lighting dimmed further, yet there was a spotlight on the salad bowl. The greens and reds and purples of the ruffage illuminated like it was the only thing that mattered. Like right now the earth was spinning just for this moment of closeness.

Surprisingly, neither of us made a motion to move. His large hand overlapping my dainty fingers, the metal underneath the pads of my fingers warming up instantly. Electricity still coursed through me like the very first time. Except now it carried the memories of all the other times and places he set me aflame.

I had to be the one to pull back.

Almost, like it needed time to comprehend why the moment was intentionally ruined, the atmosphere around us began to revert back slightly. I could hear the idle chatter of those around us now. I could see the full picture of Ethan sitting across from me and all the individuals pattering around behind him. What couldn’t pretend to go back and hung off kilter was the beating in my chest - I could feel the electricity coursing through my veins and putting my heart through the ringer.

Ethan made up for it by serving me.

Does he know he still has such an effect on me?

Quick! I needed to divert my thoughts off of the creeping flush and want from taking hold. So I went back to talking about work, our safe topic.

“If you could work anywhere else in the world where would it be?” I asked.

Ethan took a moment to think as he served himself some salad. He looked like he was actually thinking of an answer, maybe, for the first time he’s digested the hospital’s fate.

“I think the next logical step would be the Mayo Clinic. They’re the best diagnostics in the world.” His eyes diverted back down to his plate and, after a beat, he added, “I also wouldn’t mind spending more time on missions with The WHO.”

My eyes searched his as they looked anywhere but where I was seated across from him, trying to find any sort of fault in his features. Something, anything, that I could hold onto. Nothing. Just stupid sincerity. The first fucking time in weeks he actually lets us talk about his time in the Amazon I can’t be mad at him.

“You really enjoyed your time there, huh?”

“It…” he hesitated, choosing his words carefully.

We’ve wandered into emotional territory and we both needed to tread carefully. I need to remember that he was never mine, as much as I felt like his from our first kiss. Need to recall that back then everything was drawn out in plain sight. Our end was always just that - an end. I Need to forgive. And try to remember that at one point he did try to fight for me, in his round-a-bout noncommittal way, and I was the one to end things officially.

We both need to forgive. Especially if these are the last few months we have working together.

“Was important work and I got to make a difference in the lives of thousands of indigenous people.” Ethan took another small pause for breath. When he continued, his deep baritone voice was lower, “Even if my intentions for going were skewed, it was an opportunity of a lifetime.”

The simplest thing to do would be to nod, or eat - distract myself - or even change the subject. To try not to dwell on the implications of the statement. But I couldn’t. My body tensed and the warmth from moments before fled completely.

We were silent. The brutal truth of why he left stinging just as much as it did the day I found out.

Minutes, many many minutes passed with me finding solace in sweet savory carbs and Ethan pushing things around on his plate.

Eager to change the subject there was one other topic of the day I was endlessly curious to know more about;

“So, what’s the deal with Dr. Schwab?”

“Don’t.” He dismissed, his authoritative voice seeping through just a tad. Though I’d like to think he’s smart enough not to use it with me outside of Edenbrook.

“If you don’t tell me I’ll be forced to fabricate my own. I’m feeling a one-night stand gone wrong.”

He looked back down at his food.

“Oh my god, I’m right.” The smile that erupted literally took over my entire face. I could not hide it even if I tried.

“Rebecca,” he tried to scold.

“Now you have to tell me.”

Just like earlier he turned the conversation back on me; “What’s with the frat boy?”

“Ryan was never in a fraternity,” I responded, not hiding the grin that formed by putting Ethan in his place. “He’s a jock though.”

He expelled a dry laugh, “I don’t think that’s any better.” He took a bite of his salad. Something radiated off of Ethan I couldn’t quite place.

“We were close in high school,” I added for reasons I’m not quite sure why. Like that explained who Ryan was and why he came back into my life now, of all times.

Ethan made a condescending, “mhm”.

I rolled my eyes; “We had a thing for a while, okay.” I conceded. “We grew apart senior year, and then I went off to college. Last night was the first time we’ve spoken in, like, eight years.”

Ethan made absolutely no reactions to the statement. Not even a stupid wiggle of his dumb perfect eyebrow.

Is he even paying attention?

“Now tell me about Schwab - sorry, Hilary,” I coaxed.

Ethan’s hand flew to the bridge of his nose and up to carefully rub his eyes.

This has gotta be good.

I waited patiently and eagerly for this story. She couldn’t have been Ethan’s type and yet… What happened!?

Eyes still shut tight, he grumbled, “What’s there to tell?”

“Obviously something happened,” I couldn’t help but mock, “You slept together!”

“Yes, and it’s something I do not like to dwell on.”

“Sorry, buddy, but it looks like she does.”

He groaned. Then shifted in his chair. Ethan took a long drag of his drink. And just when I figured he was going to wait this out until one of us changed the subject, he spoke;

“A moment of weakness a few years back. And she was…”

Ah! It’s actually happening! Ethan’s telling a salacious story!

Shifting in my seat and placing my head in my hands to give him my full attention; My brows and smile grew as I finished the sentence for him, “Eager?”

He scowled.

“Jesus Christ, Ethan, just tell me what happened!”

“I will not go into details.”

“Fine.” I made a motion with my hand for him to continue without the juicy details.

“Harper and I had just ended things for good not long before…”

We ended up going back and forth for a while - Ethan not wanting to give anything up and me pulling as much as I could out of him. Long story short, Ethan was in a weird mental state after breaking up with Harper for the hundredth and final time in their six year relationship. He took up a conference opportunity to get away for two nights. Knowing how much he loves people, Ethan spent most of his time drowning his senses at the hotel bar. And low and behold, enter Hillary.

From the sounds of it she was agreeable and very very forward. And Ethan was so lost in liquor that her voice didn’t irritate him as much as it did the next morning, and every single time they were in close proximity thereafter. Hillary had been going through a separation with her husband and needed a distraction just as bad. Really, who could blame her? Toting Ethan around would be the best revenge.

The first night of his stay was fine - apparently the sex was satisfactory and she didn’t do anything remarkably memorable. Or so he says. I still think she looks like a squawker. He didn’t linger around long after before retreating to his hotel room. Then the next afternoon he was bored and weak and agreed to lunch. And lunch turned into drinks which turned into round two. In his room. And she didn’t leave. She wasn’t leaving. So Ethan bought an earlier plane ticket, and shook her awake before checking out.

And every conference since she seems to want to entertain a rematch.

“Oh my god, you’re horrible!” I exclaimed ever delightfully. This was hilarious!

“I shouldn’t really be surprised. You flew to another continent after we slept together.” Shaking my head, a stupid little smirk on my lips I asked, “Have you ever had a one night stand before?”

“Wha - of course I have!”

“One’s that didn’t end up with you getting on a plane?”

He leaned back and folded his arms across his chest. “If you must know, I’ve had my fair share in undergrad.”

Now it was my turn to send a condescending “mhm” his way.

We spoke longer and polished off our plates - not a single crumb remained. This was nice. Really nice getting to be close to him again and just being friends. Telling stories and exchanging playful jabs here and there. It’s how I fell for the idiot in the first place.

Baby steps.

Two hours after we arrived the server came over with the bill.

She was friendly and lovely the whole meal. The best part about her style of service is that she let us just exist and didn’t check up all that often. When she did I could tell she overheard someone of the crap Ethan and I were spewing. She had one of those knowing smiles, like she was in on our jokes the entire time.

“Can I just say, you guys are adorable,” she relayed with the brightest of smiles after setting the padfolio on the table, her hands clapping together excitedly. She looked like a child who had just met Santa Claus for the first time.

L O L she thinks we’re together.

At that I actually laughed out loud before informing, “We’re colleagues. In town for a conference.”

The horror on the girl's face said it all.

“Oh! My mistake, sorry. I can split the bill for you.” She reached for the pad where it sat in front of Ethan.

He grabbed the black leather at the same time I spoke;

"Nope, dinner’s on him.” I cupped a hand over my mouth and pointed a not-at-all discreet thumb towards him, “He'll get reimbursed," I laughed more to myself than anything.

She smiles, a little relieved by my warmth, then turns to look at Ethan - silently asking permission or if it’s okay that he pays. Generally looking for some sort of direction from the old man.

He shoots the server a look. Then forks over his credit card.

As she saunters off, I smile at him sweetly, “Thank you.”

Of course he rolls his eyes. But that rise in the corners of his mouth says so much more.

________________________________________

A/N: sorry it’s shit. thank you for sticking with this series 💕 we’ve just got one chapter left!

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sofee-d · 3 years

Text

Memorable Birthday

Short Summary: Surprising your boyfriend on his birthday in a way he never expected.

Genre: Romance, fluff

Pairing: Lee Taeyong (NCT) x Fem!Reader ft. Mark & Johnny

Warnings: None tbh, fluff, lots of fluff, mentions of slight smutty content but pretty PG.

Key Words: Romantic dinner, friends to lovers, stable relationship, birthday surprise, silly & easy-going relationship, serious talk, confession, heart-warming

Word Count: 2758

࿏

It had been almost 5 months that you started dating Taeyong. You started off as friends and it took a while for both of you to come to terms with your feelings for one another and act on it. It was Taeyong who acted on it first. He ended up kissing you abruptly one day when you were helping him study English in your apartment. It was apparently Johnny’s idea, you found out later on. After pining after you for so long Taeyong decided to take matters into his own hands and follow Johnny’s advice to ‘’Just kiss her man.’’.

After that day the rest was history. Your inital worries about your friendship turning into a relationship were short lived because Taeyong was incredibly good to you as a boyfriend. He would text you constantly despite his hectic schedule and try to come and see you whenever he could. You expected things to be much worse. Like not being able to meet up often or even at all, but you could see how much he was putting in effort to be with you and it was so heart warming.

It was sometimes late night movie dates at your apatment, because he missed you in the middle of the night and he didn’t have an early schedule the day after so he would come over with a bunch of snacks with a goofy grin on his face and you would just enjoy each others company the whole night. Other times it would be him inviting you to the dorm, successfully being able to kick Johnny, Haechan and Doyoung to the 10th floor for a few hours because he wanted to treat you to a nice dinner he cooked for you. You would have to stop him when he got carried away though, not being able to get enough of your kisses. Those dates would mostly end with the both of you back at your apartment, limbs being all tangled up in the entry almost not being able to wait until you get to the bedroom.

You honestly felt like you couldn’t ask for a better boyfriend. You weren’t too different personality wise so when you had small disagreements or misunderstandings sometimes they were easy to fix as communicating with Taeyong was such a breeze, he was so caring and understanding. It had been amazing being with him for almost 5 months, even though neither of you uttered the big 3 words yet. You felt it through his actions and you tried your best to show it through your actions as well, it wasn’t that necessary to say it out loud.

Since you felt like Taeyong was the one taking care of you most of the time you decided to put in the extra effort to do something special for his birthday coming up. But there was one tiny problem. What kind of present were you supposed to get for your rich celebrity boyfriend? He could possess almost anything he wanted. So you started thinking about something different. Your aim was to totally surprise him and give him something unique. The idea that popped in your mind just 3 weeks before Taeyong’s birthday was singing to him. You weren’t one to keep secrets from each other however one thing you sucessfully managed to hide from him was your singing ability. At first you didn’t really mean to hide it, you were just shy and thought that you would never compare to your boyfriend who is a well known musical artist. So you kept it to yourself for a while and asked Mark and Johhny to keep their mouths shut for good measure.

Actually your plan was not only just singing to him but singing to him while also playing the guitar. There was one problem in this scenario too however, you had no idea how to play the guitar. You learned some chords way back when you were younger, but you didn’t remember anything. So you dediced to get help from an expert, of course it was none other than your best friend Mark. When you came to him with this idea suddenly demanding him to teach you how to play the guitar in just 3 weeks, to say he was shocked would be an understatement. Though not guaranteeing you’d be able to play the song you picked properly in just 3 weeks, he agreed to help regardless, not being able to refuse favors coming from you.

The 3 weeks of learning the guitar with Mark and then practicing almost everyday at home was tough, not to mention you had to sneak around to keep Taeyong from finding out. Of course there was also Johnny and his big mouth too. But he actually managed to keep it a secret for longer than you thought, even helping you by making up excuses when Taeyong would get suspicious sometimes. Though it was challenging, the results were decent. You could play the first verse, the chorus and the bridge of the song you choose just fine, while also singing along. Mark was impressed how much you learned in such a short span of time and kept hyping you up to build your confidence while Taeyong’s birthday was getting closer.

When it was finally the day before Taeyong’s birthday, thankfully it fell on a Saturday and he typically didn’t have schedule on the weekends. All your plans were ready, for Friday night you planned a small dinner at your place with just the two of you, even attempting to make him a cake. Although it didn’t turn out too well visually, it still tasted good so you hoped he would like it. At exactly 12:00 AM it would be July 1st and you would take out Mark’s guitar from the place you hid it and sing him the song you had been practicing non-stop for the past 3 weeks. For Satuday, on his actual birthday you planned to have a picnic by a lake nearby during the day and celebrate at the dorm with the boys at night.

Your heart started thundering in your chest when you finally heard your door bell ring. He was finally here. You checked the table you put together one last time and made sure everything looked perfect, not forgetting to check yourself out in the entryway mirror and adjusting the blush colored silk dress that complimented your figure perfectly too. When you finally opened the door you found your boyfriend looking very handsome in a white dress shirt and his favorite jeans. He even styled his hair, matching the semi-formal occasion when you only asked him to have dinner at your place.

His eyes danced on your figure from head to toe immediately bringing a smile to his face as he said;

‘‘Wow babe! You look incredible. What’s the occasion?’‘ laughing a little slightly by the end.

Eyeing him disapprovingly you replied; ‘‘Well, I don’t know. You tell me Mr. Lee.’’

‘’You don’t look too shabby yourself’‘ you continued, letting out a giggle.

He gently grabbed your your right hand and made you spin around.

‘‘I don’t know what I did to deserve this...’‘ he said still not being able to take his eyes off of you while smiling sheepishly.

You replied by locking your lips to his. There was a slight urgency hidden in the kiss, not being able to meet up with him properly for the past 3 weeks made you miss him so much. You could tell that he missed you too when he wasted no time to grab your waist to pull you closer and deepening the kiss. You pulled away a little bit sooner than he would like and even though you didn’t want to and said;

‘‘Taeyong... We should have dinner first. And I have a surprise for you.’‘

After giving you a one last peck he replied while looking deeply in your eyes;

‘‘I know, I know. I just can’t help myself. I guess I missed you too much...’‘

‘‘I know baby. I missed you too. But it’s dinner time now. Come on.’‘ you cooed while pulling him to the living room.

His eyes landed on the dinner table you put together and he let out a small gasp while his hands going towards his mouth.

‘‘Did you make all this for me?’‘ he was examining the different dishes you cooked for him that he loved.

‘‘To be completely honest, I don’t think I can get anywhere near you when it comes to cooking. But I still hope you like them. If you don’t you don’t have to finish.’‘ you said getting a bit self conscious.

Because you weren’t really much of a cook. Taeyong was the one who cooked for you all the time. And the times he didn’t cook you just ordered delivery food. But since this was a special occasion you tried your best to cook some of his favorite dishes.

Sensing your confidence faltering Taeyong quickly replied;

‘‘Of course I will love them. You made them for me after all. I will finish them all.’’ giving you a warm back hug and kissing your cheek.

One of the many reasons you loved Taeyong was his incredibly loving, supportive nature. Even if the food you cooked was terrible (which it wasn’t but) he would still try to finish it all with a smile on his face. And most likely the next time you attempted to cook he would teach you.

Taeyong enjoyed the dinner you cooked for him more than you expected. Even throwing a few compliments here and there and talking about how spoiled he feels. But as the dinner was slowly coming to an end you started getting more and more nervous about your little suprise. Clearing the plates on the table together and making room for the cake, it was then time to light the candles as it was almost 12 AM. Taeyong looked really happy seeing you even went the extra lengths to bake him a cake. You caught your hand holding the lighter trembling a little bit as all you could think about was the small performance you had been preparing for the past few weeks. Taeyong got the lighter from your trembling hand and looked at you with concerned eyes;

‘‘Babe, are you ok?’‘

‘‘Yeah I’m fine, let’s light the candles.’‘ you quickly replied back pretending to be ok.

He didn’t question you more while he finished lighting the candles. As the clock hit 12 AM you cheered;

‘‘HAPPY BIRTHDAY BABY!’‘

You could see the way his face lit up by the way he was gazing at you. Even though you told him to make a wish he shook his head and said;

‘‘I couldn’t have asked for a better birthday and a better girlfriend. What else can I wish for? I got everything I want right here.’‘ with his signature smile that made you melt.

You couldn’t help but smile back fondly at him as he blew his candles. Taeyong surprisingly enjoyed the cake too, asking you some questions about how you made it. But you could only think of the chords in your head, starting to get stressed like what if you made a mistake? You worked so hard to get it perfect, it would be a shame if you made a mistake while trying to do something nice for your boyfriend. The moment you dreaded finally came when Taeyong finished his cake and took his plate to put it into the dishwasher.

When he was in the kitchen you quickly took out the guitar you managed to conceal behind the couch by the very corner. Taeyong did a double take when he saw you with a guitar standing in the middle of the living room when he came back. His expression was a mixture of confusion and fascination.

‘‘Taeyong, this is my present to you.’‘ you said with a small voice, your nerves getting the better of you.

Closing your eyes, you started playing like the way Mark taught you. When the verse started, all of your nervousness from before faded away and your eyes fluttered open as you sang along. Just from the first few words you sang you could see how blown away Taeyong was. You gained even more confidence by seeing him just staring at you with an amazed grin on his face, like he was finding it hard to believe. When you got to the bridge, you deemed it the killing part because you were putting in more power to certain words and singing a bit higher, with more emotion. Taeyong continued watching you slightly dazed. When you finally finished, you stared at each other for a moment that seemed longer than it was. As if both of you were finding it hard to process what just happened. It was Taeyong who was quick to close the distance between you two and his lips were even quicker to meet yours.

Pulling back from the kiss he said;

‘‘Y/N I had no idea you could sing! This is crazy! How did I not know how talented you are!’‘ excitement and amazement was evident on his face.

‘‘Because I kinda hid it from you...’‘ you replied averting your eyes a bit.

‘‘You’re a real musician you know. And I only sing a little bit. I’m a total amateur.’‘ you continued.

He gave you a disapproving look and said; ‘’Nonsense. It was pretty amazing what you just did now. I think you are very talented. You can even play the guitar!’‘ he exclaimed.

‘’Well about that... I actually don’t know how to play the guitar... I’ve just been learning to play this one song for you for the past 3 weeks.’’ you admitted.

Eyes getting bigger once again he said; ‘’What? You mean you learned to play like this in only 3 weeks? And you learned it to sing to me?’’ smiling from ear to ear by the end of his sentence.

‘‘Yes, I learned it because I wanted to make you feel special for once.’‘ you replied back mirroring his smile.

Taeyong responded by tilting your chin up and connected his lips with yours. He was kissing you more passionately this time. Almost in a way to convey how you were making him feel. As the kiss got deeper by the minute he pulled back slowly to look deeply in your eyes.

‘‘I love you Y/N.’‘ he let out the breath he didn’t even realize he was holding and continued;

‘‘I haven’t said it until now because I didn’t want to burden you. I was worried of scaring you off. I thought you’d find it too early and the heaviness of those three words would ruin the playful, light-hearted connection we have going on. But I was wrong.’‘

‘‘I tried to show it through actions and thought it was enough. But right now, I realized it’s not enough. I am totally and utterly in love with you. So you’re stuck with me whether you like it or not.’‘ he concluded with a laugh.

Watching your boyfriend pouring his heart out to you with an intense passionate gaze was urging you to do the same.

‘‘Good. Because I’m totally and utterly in love with you too Lee Taeyong.’‘ you confessed chuckling a little, while holding him.

‘‘You know you raised the bar on the birthday surprises way higher now right?’‘ he said with a smirk, earning a light punch on his arm from you.

‘‘Maybe next year you could dance for me. I bet you’re good at dancing too.’‘ he suggested, expression turning devilish.

‘‘I’m not... But you can always teach me.’‘ you responded with a challenging smirk.

‘‘Right now, the only dance I want to do is the Devils Tango.’’ he said with a proud expression.

‘‘Taeyong! Oh my god, where did you learn that?’‘ you started laughing because it was ridiculous.

‘‘Come on Y/N you gotta admit it was kinda smooth. Doesn’t that mean se-’‘ he was about to say but you interrupted him by saying;

‘‘You won’t get any if you don’t stop talking about it like that though.’‘ trying to hide your laugh by turning back and walking away.

But your fake push & pull game was cut short when you suddenly found yourself in Taeyong’s arms being carried princess style.

‘‘I don’t think I can wait anymore.’‘ he said in urgency, lust evident in his eyes while carrying you to the bedroom.

Taeyong’s 25th birthday would surely be a time you would both remember.

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