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#i think about this piece a lot mainly because it was the last time i spent 4 hours drawing in one sitting 😭😭
nethereasypeasy ¡ 6 months
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Some fluffy head canons I have about the Baldurs Babes
mainly at camp :)
Gale stops tav to lace their boots, sarcastically tutting as he does it.
Karlach holds her hands round someones bowl and cups to warm them if they cool down too much. (Mama K microwave™)
Jaheira and Halsin share nightcaps and chat about the tadpole team. Mainly laughing at their comparative lack of experience - always ends on a 'they're good eggs tho' vibe.
Astarion and Shadowheart rate people's hair to eachother as an injoke, tav hears them mumbling numbers behind them whenever they speak to someone.
Lae'zel asks Gale to explain and pronounce things when no one is around because the 'annoying wizard' won't make fun, he's too eager to teach.
Jaheira has the best bedtime stories but they get Karlach hyped up and she asks a lot of questions till Astarion begs her to be quiet. Wyll takes mental notes for his own storytelling.
Karlach will force a game of 'I Spy' any time there is silence on the road.
Wyll is very good at little random gifts, he just remembers anything someone mentions to him. He's also low-key emotional if you return that kindness, 'you remembered?! 😭'
Halsin stops, kneels and whispers as he points and shows tav interesting plants or animals he spots when walking. 'look there's the mother and her babies' type shit. (He is camp dad(dy) ok)
Wyll teaches Lae'zel fencing. She's too keen though and tries to pin him down. She is not as graceful... But she has fun... chk!
Gale keeps a tiny portrait of Tara on him, you can't tell me modern au Gale's phone wouldn't be full of cat pics.
Astarion watches over the camp at night, he acts like he 'might as well/ I'm the only one lurking in the dark around HERE darlings' but sometimes he secretly gets a little teary looking at his first real friends all together.
Shadowheart writes moody poetry. She would tell Gale but she doesn't care for his taste... Or his possible critiques. If he ever did find her journal though he would be VERY enthused.
Astarion and tav will play with people's wardrobes when looting. Tav loves a funny hat and Astarion will do impressions of who he thinks would wear such god's awful attire.
Gale and Wyll play chess together after dinner some nights. They both say progressively cheesy lines when they take pieces, which is its own game itself at this point.
Halsin would quietly sing or hum to owlbear baby and scratch at night. Little lullabies and he'd probably tuck them in too. OR he'd be big daddy bear and snuggle up, especially when owlbear is scared and misses his mum.
The gang have played 'never have I ever' ONE time and ONE time only. It was a messy night.
... Jaheira was 100% last man standing.
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starkwlkr ¡ 1 year
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Hey can I request a Ruby fic where she’s visiting Charles to one of the races and paps have unintentionally scared her so Charles goes into protective father mood. Thank you. I love your ruby universe very much.
mean | charles leclerc
I’m just going to make this take place during the miami gp idk why but i just think since there’s a lot of celebrities and influencers (🙄) going to miami there’s more paparazzi (I THINK IDK IF THAT HAPPENS) so yeah <3
Charles was proud of Ruby’s outfit choice, mainly because he had picked it out himself. Ruby had her hair in two braids, some shorts and Charles had gotten her a Ferrari baseball jersey so they could match all day. Y/n decided to stay behind a bit in the hotel with Mathéo so he could take a nap before they joined them in the paddock.
“Is Jack coming?” Ruby asked her father as they walked into the paddock. She loved playing around the paddock with Jack and always asked if the boy was going to be at the next race.
“I’m not sure. But we can always play together. There’s a big field and I can ask someone for a ball.” Charles explained to the girl. There was not doubt that finding a ball for Ruby to play with was going to be hard to find. They were inside a stadium after all.
Several photographers saw the father and daughter enter so they took out their cameras and started taking pictures of them. Charles didn’t like the idea so he took off his sunglasses and placed them on Ruby’s face even though they were a bit bigger on hers. He then lifted her up into his arms and tried his best to shield her away from the photographers.
“Papa, why are they taking pictures?” Ruby questioned. From under then sunglasses, she saw flasses of light.
“It’s their job, Ruby. I don’t like it either.” He admitted as he continued walking to the Ferrari garage.
“Charles! Charles! A picture with your daughter please!”
Ruby could hear her father’s name being yelled more and more. She didn’t like it. She saw the men with the cameras follow them. To her, it was like the monsters from the fairytales in her books were following her and her papa. She snuggled up to Charles’ neck causing the glasses to fall from her face. In that moment, every photographer tried their best to take pictures of the young girl.
“Papa!” Ruby yelled as she was blinded by the lights. (I promise this is not a musical reference oops)
“Can you back up?! No, don’t take pictures of her!” Charles raised his voice at the men.
Still, they ignored him.
“Hey!” A loud voice was heard from behind the group of men. “Leave them alone. Go bother someone else.”
Charles watched as the photographers backed away once they heard Lewis yell at them. He stayed with Charles and Ruby until the last photographer left. “You okay, man?” Lewis asked Charles.
“Yeah, I wish they could just leave us alone all the time. Y/n hates them.” Charles said. He then pressed a kiss to Ruby’s cheek. “Are you okay, Mon chéri?”
Ruby slowly nodded. Her attention was on her papa’s glasses on the floor. Lewis noticed and grabbed the glasses. “I believe these belong to you, Miss Leclerc.”
“They’re papa’s! They’re big on me!” She laughed when Lewis tried to put them on face.
“You sure? They look much better on you.” Lewis laughed.
“Thank you.” Ruby smiled at the Mercedes driver.
“Thanks Lewis. We have to leave, but I’ll see you later.” Charles nodded at the driver.
“No problem. Bye, Ruby.” Lewis waved goodbye to the girl.
“Bye! Say hi to Roscoe!”
As the day went by, Charles kept Ruby close to him until Y/n arrived. If he wasn’t available to look after Ruby, Pierre and Kika took care of her. Charles wasn’t going to let the photographers ruin Ruby’s day.
Now in the Alpine hospitality, Kika sat next to Ruby coloring on a piece of paper with the girl. Charles and Pierre sat next to each other across from the girls talking about the lack of security. Ruby managed to understand some of the words they were saying.
“They were mean. They yelled at papa.” Ruby added.
“They did?” Pierre asked, gasping a bit.
Ruby nodded. “They are so mean! And loud and scary! What if they yell at mama and Théo?”
“I’m going to make sure mama and Théo don’t get yelled at by the mean scary men. Don’t worry.” Charles assured his daughter.
“Kika, can I tell you something?”The girl said to the woman. She then cupped her hands and whispered some words into Kika’s ear. Both Charles and Pierre watched, wondering what the little girl could’ve told Kika.
Kika then gasped just like Pierre had done. “Really? Then he’s the best papa in the world!”
Ruby nodded and giggled. “He is!”
Kika saw the confused faces on the drivers and asked Ruby if it was okay to share the information she had just told her. Ruby nodded and grabbed her crayon to continue coloring.
“She said that her papa was protecting her from the mean scary men and that he was very brave.” Kika said and watched Charles’ lips turn into a smile.
No matter what, Charles would always protect his little girl from anything. (Even in the future when she would start dating, yeah he would never be ready for that.)
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leog4u ¡ 2 months
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Game Design and Porn Pt. 1
or, How To Fuck Up The Best Intrinsic Reward Ever
Hi, I'm Leo G, veteran pervert. One time while chatting in a server exclusively made of porn artists, I brought up the game design of a porn game I enjoyed. One of them laughed, saying "Who cares, it's just a porn game?" Being unwell, I never let this go. Since then, I have played many adult games and took each one as serious products made by professionals. Fast forward to today, and the demo for my porn game, Joker's Trip, is nearing completion. I also have some sci-fi erotica you should check out.
So you wanna make a porn game. You heard they make money, and hey what’s more fun than making a video game AND porn? But you don’t know where to begin! Well don’t worry, Leo’s got you covered. We’re gonna walk through the line of thinking you should have when designing your porn game. There's gonna be at least three parts to this, with part 1 focusing on how to reward your player.
Define "porn game" for me, Leo.
There are porn games, and then games with porn in them. A porn game is a game where you won’t last 5 minutes, where everything exists solely to meet and, subsequently, fuck. A game with porn in it is a game where everything exists for the purpose of the game, and also, you fuck. Fate Stay Night, for example, is a VN with a story that just so happens to have some CGs where the protagonist rails Saber, but is mainly about Shirou and the Holy Grail War. Much like how I would call Castlevania a game with horror in it, but not a horror game.
Porn games are a lot like horror games. They both get a bad rap for being cheap to make, appealing to base instincts, and generally being low quality. They're also both not actual genres of games, but genres of content. Think about it, if I asked you what a horror game is, you'd say a game that's scary. But what's the actual game part? The unfortunate answer would most likely be "walking sim," but there are a lot of examples that are FPSes, puzzles, driving sims, platformers, deck builders, the list goes on.
The most common genres of game I see for porn games these days are by far RPG Maker RPGs and VNs. I won’t be talking about VNs because they’re closer to writing than game design, which isn’t a flaw but a feature. What used to be everywhere, in days of old, were breakout games, where the more bricks and levels were cleared, the more of the sexy image would be revealed in the background. Other arcadey type deals like shoot ‘em ups and mahjong were also around, and had a similar “strip ‘em down until you have sex” gameplay loop.
Okay, so what’s an intrinsic reward?
There’s intrinsic rewards, and there're extrinsic rewards. Extrinsic rewards, generally, are the number go up rewards. Things that make your character stronger, or give you more resources to buy new gear or whatever. Intrinsic rewards in games can cover a large swathe of things. It can be the feeling of satisfaction of completing a puzzle, a piece of lore or world building, or a new dialogue option with a character you want to fuck.
I like fucking characters, are we talking about porn now?
Yes! I’m of the opinion that you literally can’t make a better intrinsic reward than pornography. On top of setting the tone for the entirety of the game., at its best it can add to a story, add to someone’s character development, or be a beautiful piece of art to look at. AND you can jack off to it! Unfortunately, that’s at its best. Let’s talk about how porn is delivered in a theoretical RPG porn game. (As a head’s up, there will be talk of “bad end” scenes, but this is under the assumption that the player is the one consenting.)
So you’re playing an RPG and get into a fight. Maybe you were underleveled or too cumbrained to remember to buy healing potions. Then your HP goes to zero, and instead of going back to the title screen, you’re getting fucked by orcs. That’s right, let’s talk about Game Over CGs.
You get to watch porn when you lose?
To someone making a porn game with a battle system, this delivery method makes sense. The characters in this world are driven primarily by lust, this is just the obvious conclusion. And it doesn’t even have to be non-consensual! Games like Future Fragments show that it can be presented as a sexy inconvenience rather than anything uncomfortable for the player or our hero. Game Over CGs even have the benefit of softening the blow of defeat, by giving the player a chance to reflect on their defeat and jerk off. Even better if losing a fight isn’t lost progress, but rather a bump in the road. However, there’s a problem here. The player is a dog, and we’re rewarding bad behavior.
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The porn is an intrinsic reward, so why are we giving it to the player for losing? Incentivizing losing on purpose isn’t just bad game design, but a waste of time. And to that end, a lot of porn games try to give solutions to this. One being a kill button on the keyboard or a skill that instantly KOs our hero to get to the lose screen faster. What might seem like a convenience is really just expediting failure.
What it says is that the gameplay doesn’t actually matter. You’re just here for the porn, right? In that case there’s plenty of places I can go to see a chick with huge knockers get railed by an orc, with the added bonus of not having to play forgettable and mid turn based combat!
Another solution I’ve seen is the game outright telling you, “hey don’t bother killing yourself to see the porn. Once you beat the game all of the scenes you missed will be unlocked!” At first this seems like a reasonable way to go about it, but it comes with another problem: your game better be fucking good to make me play through the entire thing before getting to see cock. Like I said earlier, porn at its best can reveal things about the world and drive character development. I uh. Just beat the game. I don’t care anymore. Showing me a scene that’s taken out of context by a factor of 5 hours or more isn’t what I’d call great game design or story telling. It’s also too little, too late.
What if we made the porn actual rewards?
Now we’re getting somewhere! Let’s make the reward…a reward! What if, every time the player beats a level, we get some porn? If we tie the CG to beating the boss, we’ll be tying the reward to game progression. That’s good right? So now, on top of the extrinsic rewards you’d normally get for beating a boss (a lot of EXP, better gear, opened areas) we also get that sweet dopamine rush of pornography! So we’re good, right?
There’s 1142 words left in this post, so I’m assuming no.
Well. It’s a start. It has the problem of predictability. If not handled properly, it comes off as lazy. As a game designer, one of your goals is to not constantly remind your player that they’re playing a video game. Get through the level, get porn. It feels a little too “mouse in a maze looking for cheese” for my taste. And much like the game over method, if the actual game itself is mid, the player will start to question if the reward is worth it, and might be afflicted with the worst condition a player could receive: boredom.
Of course there are exceptions. In puzzle or arcade type games where you don’t get extrinsic rewards, giving the player porn as another form of reward per level or whatever is perfectly reasonable (though it does have the issue of being predictable.) This is a perfectly good way of doing it if your game is short, or if the game is, y’know, good and fun to play. Bad Color’s game, Heroine Conquest, is a level based puzzle game with porn as the reward, but only when you do good. Combining the actual challenge of mastering the game, with a genuinely unique game loop makes for a feeling of accomplishment when beating a level. Pair that up with a sex cutscene, and the dopamine rush will hit.
So! Let’s combine giving the player a power trip, with a less rigid structure for giving the player porn. Instead of tying the porn to purely progression gates, let’s tie it to the progression.
Plot milestones
In Third Crisis, sex scenes are peppered throughout the regular game’s plot, starting with some lesbian bondage before introducing the protagonist, who goes through a tutorial before having their own horny encounters. It’s not just given when you win or lose, but is a natural part of the game. Beating bosses, losing to enemies, and exploring dialogue options in sidequests all lead to unlocking new CGs.
Now what’s nice about that, is that the sex isn’t placed somewhere extremely predictable. It isn’t just a reward for beating The Boss Of Forest Zone, Now Go To Ice Zone And Beat The Ice Boss For More Cock. Because that’s the biggest issue of predictable rewards, you know you’re not getting anything until that checkpoint, which will make the player weigh whether or not it’s even worth continuing. This is fine, again, for an arcade type game, not an RPG or adventure game. By sprinkling sex throughout the plot itself, the player will not only want to progress, but their curiosity will have them wondering “what else is out there?”
Rewarding exploration
By putting sex scenes behind optional side quests or encounters, the dog that is the player will scour every single corner of the map, and leave no pixel unturned. Personally, that’s more exciting to me than what you’ll get in the main progression route. In Future Fragments the player can find their rival Faye in sexual situations if they explore the map enough. These are completely optional, and don’t give any direct rewards like more HP or an item, but they’re by far what motivates me to explore the maps as thoroughly as possible, more so than the plot macguffins the game is named after!
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So now the player is excited. Sex can happen anywhere. Maybe that daunting off road path with stronger monsters isn’t just hiding a secret, but a sexy secret! They’ll be more likely to venture down those optional paths you painstakingly made.
If we’re using sex in game overs, boss fights, and just randos, why not put it everywhere?
So now I want to talk about the concept of a “sex stat”. It’s not a bad idea! Say, the higher the player’s sex stat is, the more opportunities you unlock for fucking. It could even be tied to the player character’s personality, and affect the story! Instead of using a sword and shield, they’ll end any conflict with sass and sex. They open their eyes to the horny world around them and stop being a hero, and instead become a succubus, and the ending is a massive cum filled orgy.
That sounds excessive
Yeah, it does, doesn’t it.
I’m not a fan of “corruption” systems in porn games. Corruption as a kink is totally fine, and having it be a part of the story lets you incorporate more sexuality into the plot. But as I alluded to, it snowballs pretty fast (and I’m not talking about spitting in someone’s mouth). It ends up being like a cheat code, where you’re bypassing parts of the game for no cost. It stops being a reward, it stops being unexpected, and it stops it from being sexy.
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Wait, what? Stops being sexy? What’s not sexy about a succubus orgy?
Alright, listen, we gotta rein it in for a minute. This isn’t so much about game design as it is about writing erotica, but if you have a world where everyone’s fucking and sucking 24/7, there’s no contrast to make what would normally be a hot taboo a hot taboo. If everybody’s naked, nobody’s naked. The aforementioned snowball effect of a corruption system can be seen if you play literally any game that has one. It won’t take long to not have to engage with any combat or adventuring system if you can just press the “Submit to the big dick warlock” button and watch porn to progress.
Which, now that I said that, is exactly the problem. Imagine any other rpg you’ve ever played. Now imagine if every encounter and dialogue option had an option to just watch a short cutscene to skip the encounter. That would suck ass, right? Literally no difference here.
It would. Hey, I’m sort of lost now.
Don’t worry, we’re wrapping this up.
So what did we learn? We learned game over CGs have a critical design flaw that shouldn’t be relied on. We learned that predictable rewards can lead to boredom. We learned to keep sex as a reward and not devalue it.
To summarize, here’s a neat trick to know where to put your porn scenes.
”Would I put an Xbox Live achievement here?”
It’s that easy. “Lose to Goblins for the first time,” that’s an achievement. “Beat orc commander,” that’s an achievement. “Find Hubert the Magical Dickhead,” that’s an achievement. Using that as a guideline is foolproof. Almost.
This sounds like it’d take a lot of resources
It sure does! But don’t worry. I’ll cover that in the next post talking all about how to deal with the resource management of a porn game.
(Shoutout to Taylor, my guy for editing!)
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lionheartedmusings ¡ 5 months
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the thing about q!bad recreating the soulfire base basically block by block and planning to surprise the team with it is that it says a whole lot about him, where is was during purgatory, and where he is now.
q!bad spent months trying to burn bridges and push people away, he effectively placed himself in a distrusted position on the island, his children (the only reason that man breathes) vanished in the middle of the night, he was actively torturing himself and kidnapping people. he was a man on a mission, sure, but time and time again he reinforced to us the audience that he wasn't *happy* about what he had to do. his plan — whatever his plan is — is something he deems necessary enough to have been alright with ruining his own life. as he said to q!baghera: "i'm expendable".
suddenly there's hope in egg island, but egg island is actually a hellscape and he's trapped without his biggest support systems — q!bagi, q!baghera, q!foolish, and even to an extent q!forever were the people he had to take down, they couldn't be there for him anymore. and from his team? other than q!tina and q!aypierre, he wasn't close to anyone or was just... directly antagonistic towards them (mainly q!pac and q!tubbo).
and then the funniest thing happened — he found family in hell and in people he never truly expected to be comfortable around.
he grew to respect and care for q!tubbo, he grew much closer to q!tina, his relationship with q!aypierre was tested and strengthened, he found a connection with q!niki and by god, he protected q!pac — who'd once been terrified of him — with his life. even the people who didn't log on often, he grew to see as part of his pack in a way he (and i) didn't see coming.
when soulfire mains talk about them being the perfect example of found family, that's what we mean. slow, careful changes that grew into love and protection beyond belief — enough that when green gay ninjas were split, everyone was welcomed with a warm hug and a cup of tea, now part of the family undoubtedly and forever. just like that.
their family was hitting their stride when purgatory ended and q!bad tanked a nuke to his back to save his son, and now his bookshelves are all knocked over and his memory's slipping. he's dying, he knows he's dying, and he's holding on by a thread for dapper and pomme even if he's aware that he can't just "bear it" much longer. he's isolated again, hiding and lying about his condition, watching the world turn and knowing his clock is ticking... sometimes he knows nothing at all.
and in this moment of pain, and solemn realization of the end of this version of him?
he's spending his time rebuilding the last place that felt like home block by block, talking openly about how he feels nostalgic and misses their base, their god awful spawn, the memories they made. his time with his daughter has been spent down there.
i know we as a fandom have theorized that one of these days, his memory's gonna snap down there and he'll think he's back in purgatory and it'll be a mess. sure. but right now?
right now that rebuilt base means love, and friendship, and family, and safety. it's the last place things were okay, and he felt cared for in a way that frankly your children can't provide.
a group of ragtag mismatched people got put together in a poor man's hunger games and they saw this demon — bloodthirsty, destructive, full of cold calculated murderous intent and a need to win for his child and instead of being horrified, running away screaming from his fangs and his claws?
they loved him. they found the gentleness beneath the blood and guts. they called him their attack dog because he's so full of love and so protective, and would tear anyone to pieces to protect their family.
team soulfire saw q!bad in a way no one in the island had, and they loved him for it — even when he drove them up the walls and they had to hold the leash tight, they loved him.
and now he's remade their home.
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ashonheavenscloud ¡ 2 months
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just right || k. seungmin
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⋆。𖦹°⭒˚。⋆ contents: kim seungmin x fem!reader, established relationship, smut (minors dni!), seungmin is simultaneously a sweetheart and a tease <3
⋆。𖦹°⭒˚。⋆ word count: 3.7K
⋆。𖦹°⭒˚。⋆ warnings: swearing, 18+ explicit content, softdom!seungmin, virgin!reader, protected sex, HEAVY praise, fingering, implications of aftercare, it’s all very soft and vanilla and ahdhjshdjdbfjfn
⋆。𖦹°⭒˚。⋆ a/n: another repost while i’m swamped with essays and can’t write very much🫠 this is one of my favourite smut pieces i’ve posted. enjoy!
now playing: irene - jimmy brown
─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───
It just… didn’t look right.
You tried twisting in the bedroom mirror, striking vague poses to try and like the lace two-piece you’d been hoping to surprise Seungmin with. You’d been so confident in the store, under special dim lighting and in a red and black changing room, but coming home and trying it on again… it felt way different. Mainly because now it was sinking in that Seungmin was coming home in ten minutes, and he would actually see you in this skimpy, black lace lingerie.
It wasn’t like Seungmin hadn’t ever seen you wear something scandalous. But a lingerie set was way different than a short skirt or a sloping neckline. The implication was obvious, and besides brief discussion you hadn’t really… done anything in terms of sex. You wanted too- you really wanted to- and this had been your idea to make it easier for yourself. If you felt sexy, it wouldn’t be as intimidating, right?
Shit, what had you been thinking? You smoothed your hands over the fabric, feeling stupid. 
The front door lock clicked, and immediately your heart skipped several beats, your feet frozen as you listened to the door open and Seungmin call from out in the hallway, “Baby?”
Shit, shit, shit-
You felt caught for some reason, even though this has literally been the plan. You just hadn’t expected to chicken out last minute. Your eyes scanned the room, and found one of Seungmin’s white shirts on the bed. After a split second of hesitation, you cursed under your breath and pulled it over your head. It barely reached your mid thighs, and you were about to dig around for a pair of pants when Seungmin knocked on the closed door. 
“Baby?” 
You froze, and for some reason you hesitated. Why shouldn’t you let Seungmin in? A large part of you, in spite of your self-consciousness, wanted to see his reaction. You wanted to know what would happen, what he would do, what you would do if given the chance…
And your lack of response was enough of a response for Seungmin to slowly open the door and peek in.
You didn’t know what to do with any part of your body, so you just stood there and tried to ignore the heat flooding to your face. Seungmin was staring at you, eyes roaming up and down your body, and you again felt so, so stupid. You fidgeted with the edge of the shirt, pulling it down. “H-hi.”
“Hi, baby.” Seungmin’s lips slowly turned into a sideways grin. He looked endeared, and you couldn’t help but feel even more embarrassed. “What are you doing?”
He slowly slipped into the room and closed the door behind him, and you kind of wished you could melt through the ground. “I…”
His hands slipped up your arms to cup your elbows and pull you a couple steps closer to him. Your breath held as your eyes met his, sparkling. He giggled. “Baby, what are you wearing?”
Something about his hands holding you made it a lot easier to relax, but you still winced, eyes shutting. “Ugh. I had this stupid idea…”
“Trust me, whatever this is, it is not stupid.” Seungmin grinned, and you whined. 
“I just wanted to look… sexy, but it looks wrong.” You mumbled out, feeling your face again flush dramatically. “I just thought this would make it easier to try…”
Seungmin raised an eyebrow, looking a bit amused, and you wanted to hit him for that. Geez, just because he was experienced… 
“Try what?” He teased, and you really did hit him this time, half-playfully punching his shoulder.
“Sex, doofus.” You grumbled, hiding your face with your hands.. “I… just thought if I felt pretty… but I’m not, so…”
“Hey, wait a minute-”
One of his hands reached to cup your chin, and tilt your face to look up at him. His smile was gone, brows knit with concern.
“You are pretty.”
You laughed, unbelievingly. “Yeah. Tell that to the mirror.”
You glanced at your reflection, the t-shirt you’d thrown on haphazardly, your bare legs and the peek of your ass. You just felt… so unflattering in all of it.
Seungmin was silent for a moment, and you were beginning to feel cold and exposed. The mantra repeated in your head: stupid, stupid, stupid-
“Can I take this off, baby?”
Seungmin’s fingers were cold as they slid under the hem of your shirt to gently tug on the material. His whole body leaned into you, like you were a magnet and he was steel, and his breath was warm on your cheek as he pressed a small kiss to your eyelid. Butterflies rose in your throat at the small touch, and shot right down to your stomach when his other hand slipped to grip the shirt.
“Please? If you’re okay with it?”
Slowly, you nodded, letting Seungmin lift your arms above your head to pull off the shirt. You were left in the black lace set, and instantly you felt your eyes move to the mirror.
Seungmin immediately cupped your chin, keeping your eyes on him. His gaze was so gentle as he softly smiled. “Come here…”
He drew you back and gently sat you on the bed so your back was against the pillows. He knelt beside you, slipping off his shirt. He was lean and toned, not necessarily muscular but fit and defined.
“Now we’re even.” He smiled shyly, and you couldn’t help but smile back at his sweetness. He reached for you, one hand slipping behind your back and the other cradling your jaw as he kissed you. You sighed, eyes flickering shut as you let yourself lose sense of time and space in the kiss, in the gentle press of his mouth, the firmness of his jaw as your thumb crept up to brush over his cheek.
Soon, his lips left yours- only to find their way slowly down your neck. You gasped, shivering at his touch against your sensitive spots, surprised by the way it made your insides squirm and tingle. He hummed, pleased, and kissed down farther.
Your eyes popped open when his lips met the hill of your right breast, hovering by the lace. He paused there, glancing up at you, gauging your reaction. 
“I want to…” He was drawn down, almost against his will, to place a slow kiss on your breast. You inhaled, feeling your legs tense together, but Seungmin slipped a hand between your thighs to keep them apart.
His eyes found yours again, breaths hot over your skin. “I want to make you feel how much I love you. How beautiful I think you are. How fucking gorgeous you look with this on…” He whispered, one finger playing with the strap of your lace bra. “And how much it drives me crazy.”
He was smiling again, and your whole body felt on fire. God, did you want him to do all those things. You wanted to feel him, know what it was like to be touched and teased. Especially because it was Seungmin, someone you trusted, and someone you knew wanted it just as bad. 
“I want you.” You whispered, feeling your face heat at the words. 
Seungmin noticed your shyness, and his smile turned mischievous. He leaned forward to inch the bra strap off your shoulder, kissing his way over your skin all the while. “Want me to… what?”
Oh, the cheeky bastard. He knew exactly what you meant, he just wanted to hear you say it. You opened your mouth to respond, cheeks burning. “I want…”
Seungmin had paused to watch you expectantly, a glint in his eyes. You looked away, whining. “Just touch me, please- god-”
“Where?” He teased, slipping his fingers behind your back to unclip your bra, and you shivered at his feather light touches. Fuck. 
He released the clip, and you felt your heart jolt in anticipation. Already, you could feel your body growing excited for him to touch you everywhere. Actually saying it was another thing, though, and Seungmin knew that. He was grinning, waiting, hand just barely cupping your clothed right breast, thumb resting over the fabric right where your nipple was-
“There. There, please-” You tried, but he only chuckled, brushing over the fabric, barely doing anything. It was hardly any friction, and it was driving you insane. You weren’t bold enough for words. You weren’t bold enough for any of this- and maybe that was Seungmin’s intention. To see if he could push you enough to do it anyway.
You reached one hand to slip the second strap off your shoulder, all while Seungmin watched intently. Taking a breath for confidence, you pulled the bra away in one swift motion, letting it fly off somewhere out of reach. You didn’t watch to see where it went, ignoring your flaming cheeks and whispering, “Fuck, Seungmin. Where do you think I want you to touch?”
Seungmin grinned, and immediately ducked down to take your right nipple in his mouth, softly mouthing the sensitive bud and making you whine and squirm, eyes squeezing shut. Every sensation went right to your core, making your legs tense together- although Seungmin made sure to keep your thighs apart with one hand. 
“Easy, baby.” He murmured, breath hot, mouth hot, tongue fucking hot as he slowly sucked. At the same time, his hand slipped lower, fingers running over the edges of your lace panties. Without meaning to, you lifted your hips to his touch, which made Seungmin groan in the back of his throat. “Fuck…”
He lifted his head, leaning forward to press his lips firmly against yours, and your arms wound around his neck, fingers threading through his soft brown locks. You gently tugged and were rewarded with the most beautiful sound you’d ever heard; a low moan absolutely dripping with pleasure and lust. Your head was spinning, lost in his kiss and touch and another gentle groan when you pulled at his hair again, massaging his scalp with your fingertips. 
His fingers were inching farther down, and he briefly broke apart to breathe and whisper, “Are you okay? We don’t have to do anything unless-”
“I trust you.” You responded, and you didn’t hesitate to say it. You weren’t a confident person, you never had been- but in this moment, it didn’t matter. Seungmin’s hand cupping your jaw to draw you to him for another kiss, and his fingers slipping to pull down your panties, made you feel desired. You’d never wanted this more.
Your panties were quickly discarded, and Seungmin slid out of his pants, and your eyes instantly snapped to the bulge in his boxers. You swallowed, feeling a bit intimidated.
Seungmin glanced up at your face. “It’s okay, we can take things as slow as you’d like. Just tell me what you’re comfortable with.”
You slowly nodded, and Seungmin hovered over you again, pressing a slow kiss to your shoulder, one hand reaching to find yours. He intertwined your fingers, kissing your knuckles before propping your arm above your head. He used his other hand to gently massage your thighs apart, edging closer to your tingling core.
“Just relax, baby, I’ve got you…”
You shivered, doing your best to release tension from your body as Seungmin pressed two fingers against your slit. He chuckled. “My baby, you’re so wet for me.”
You squeezed your eyes shut, embarrassed by how absolutely horny you were. “Sorry.”
“Sorry? Babe, it’s fucking hot.” Seungmin promised, sliding one finger up and down your slit, making you gasp. The friction felt unbelievably good.
“Feels nice?” Seungmin asked, and you nodded quickly. 
“R-really good, oh my god.”
“You feel good too, baby.” Seungmin whispered, forefinger dragging through your folds before circling your hole. You tensed, the feeling foreign, and Seungmin sensed it. “Relax, love. It’s okay.”
Somehow you let your body sink into the mattress, and Seungmin slowly eased a finger inside of you. You instantly sucked in a breath, your free hand gripping the sheets beside you, the other clinging to Seungmin’s.
“That’s it… good girl,” he murmured, squeezing your hand in return as he slipped his finger in deeper. You shivered, eyes squeezing shut as your body tried to get used to the unfamiliar feeling. Not to say that it felt at all bad; the more you adjusted to it, the better it felt. The friction to your walls, the ridges of his finger, every small touch sent shockwaves of pleasure through your body. You had to bite your lip to keep quiet when he pulled back before slipping back in; you clenched around him, chest heaving.
Seungmin leaned forward to kiss you again, lips moulding against yours slowly as he set a languid pace, palm beginning to brush up against your pussy. You were starting to struggle with keeping quiet, small bursts of sounds forming in the back of your throat. Seungmin dropped your lips briefly to whisper, “Let me hear you. I want to hear you, bet you sound so pretty…”
And when his thumb started rubbing your clit, you couldn’t hold it anymore. Whines and moans quietly tumbled from your lips as Seungmin kissed you deeper, chest meeting your own, gently pushing you into the mattress. His openmouthed kisses tasted like heaven, and you weaved a hand into his hair to pull him closer, groaning at the feel of his hot breath on your skin.
“I knew you’d have the prettiest moans.” Seungmin whispered, smiling against your lips like he wasn’t saying that while his finger was knuckle deep inside of you. “You’re perfect, baby… you’re doing so well for me…”
He slid in another finger with the next thrust, making you gasp and clutch at his hair. The sensation elicited the sweetest groan from Seungmin, who seemed caught off guard. 
“You l-like that?” He asked after a second, seeming to catch his breath.
You nodded, legs tensing at the extra stretch. But that hadn’t been the only thing you’d liked; you’d also loved when Seungmin made that sound. While he’d been teasing you this whole time, it was hard not to let your eyes wander to the boner outlined by his sweats-
Experimentally, you fisted his hair again, tugging at the strands with the next thrust. Instantly Seungmin hissed, eyes closing, head pulling back from your face. “Shit, baby…”
You blurted out, “Can- can I touch you?”
Seungmin paused, eyes jolting up to meet yours, clearly surprised. He seemed to process your question while you tried your hardest not to look as flustered as you felt. But you were curious- if he could make you feel this good, could you do the same for him?
“If you want to.” Seungmin said slowly, sitting back for a second. His fingers were still, except for his thumb lightly dragging up and down your slit. 
You nodded, too shy to ask again, and Seungmin’s face broke into a grin. “You’re adorable.” He whispered, using his free hand to undo the drawstring and slip out of his sweats.
You sat up, legs stretching out on either side of Seungmin as he pulled out his cock, tip shining with a bit of precum. You couldn’t help but stare, fascinated and at the same time surprised by his size. The outline in his pants had been telling, but still…
Almost on its own will, your hand reached forward and you lightly brushed two fingers along the shaft. Seungmin squeezed his eyes shut, body tensing, lips pressed together to keep from making any sound. But he couldn’t help but slip a small, shaky, “Shit…” when your thumb touched his tip.
You repeated the motion, rewarded with a soft groan from Seungmin, who lifted his hips to meet your touch. His dick pulsed, and your core clenched at the sight, at the idea of him deep inside you, filling every inch of you…
Seungmin’s eyes met yours, and understanding flashed in his eyes. He slowly licked his bottom lip, and whispered, “Tell me what you want, baby.”
His fingers were back at work, moving slowly back and forth. You clenched, and barely managed. “I want you in me… o-oh-”
His fingers curled perfectly, making your eyes roll back. Then Seungmin slipped them out, admiring the wetness coating them. He fisted his cock while the other hand whipped out a condom from the side table. He rolled the condom up his length before crawling back over you. His knees held your legs apart, and you gasped when you felt the tip of his cock prod your entrance. He balanced over you with one elbow beside your head, the other above, hand gently grabbing onto yours.
“Two squeezes if something’s wrong or you want me to stop, okay?” He whispered and you nodded, panting, heat swimming through your body. Seungmin kissed you gently, hovering over your lips for a second longer before carefully slipping inside of you.
Your breath escaped you in a moan, the stretch equal parts painful and pleasuring. Seungmin took his time, keeping a careful eye on your expression as he pushed. You whimpered at his size, and he paused halfway, squeezing your hand. “Okay?”
You nodded, breathless. “Just… a lot.”
He nodded, gently leaning down to kiss you, hovering just above you when he pulled back. “Tell me when.”
You nodded back, letting your body get used to him and his massive size, allowing yourself to relax. You could feel Seungmin pulsing inside you, could see the film over his eyes that proved how insane he felt just from being inside. And as weird as it was for you, not used to the feeling- it was amazing.
You squeezed his hand once, and whispered. “Okay.”
Seungmin met your eyes, breath holding for a second as he looked at you. Then his forehead dipped to meet yours as he slowly pushed, pressing in deeper, and you saw stars as his dick filled every inch of you, static fizzing in your mind.
“Oh f-fuck…” you heard Seungmin groan, breath on your face. “You’re so damn t-tight, oh my god…”
You couldn’t respond, chest heaving, core tingling at the very new and wonderful sensation of Seungmin’s cock buried inside of you, twitching and rubbing over your sensitive walls, You shivered when he shifted slightly, and a small whimper shot from your lips. Instantly Seungmin’s eyes had locked on yours, concern flashing in them. But when he realized you were okay- more than okay- his mouth broke into a small smile.
“How do you feel?” He whispered, kissing along the side of your face and down to your neck. You quickly clung to his brown locks as he pushed his hips against yours, and your core fluttered around him, thighs tensing around his waist.
“G-good, oh-” you broke of in a moan, as he rocked over you again, lips firmly attaching to the junction of your neck and shoulder.
“You’re so fucking good, love.” He breathed against your skin, slipping out slightly and pushing slowly back in. Your toes curled at the depths he reached, at the fullness he gave you, at the stinging hickey he was leaving at the base of your throat. “Doing so, so well. Taking this dick like it was made for you. God, I think it was.” 
Your breathing hitched with another firm thrust, and you both moaned in unison. Slowly, Seungmin picked up the pace, hips forming a fluid in-and-out motion that had you seeing stars. He whispered soft praises against your skin while you shuddered, knot building in your gut, uncontrollable moans and whimpers falling past your lips. To Seungmin, it was like music.
Your hands roamed the expanse of his shoulders, and he clutched at your hand with his while the other grabbed your waist, rubbing circles over your stomach.  He let his thumb slip down to your clit to rub the sensitive nerves and your back arched off the bed, body roaring with heat.
“Seungmin, there- there-” you moaned, hand flying to the sheets to grip onto, while the other held tightly to his hand. Seungmin’s grip tightened in response, and you could see his body shaking, sweat glistening over his honey skin. His movements were coming sloppier, more sporadic.
Your walls clenched, and you nearly screamed to words, “Shit, Seungmin, I-”
“I know, god,” he moaned. “Close, huh?”
You nodded, eyes squeezing shut, tension burning in your gut. Seungmin gave you several more quick snaps of his hips before you were breaking, white blazing behind your eyelids as you released, pleasure drowning you with a heavy moan from Seungmin’s throat.
“That’s my girl, come on- ah, fuck-”
His hips stuttered as he released too, shooting his cum into the condom, shuddering as his high washed over him. After a second of heavy breathing, he slipped out and you opened your eyes, breathless.
He immediately leaned forward, cupping your cheeks and pulling you into a soft, slow kiss. You felt exhausted, but deliriously happy, when he pulled back to look at you with a loving smile on his face.
“You okay? How do you feel?”
“Really good.” You promised in a whisper, taking one of his hands gently in his. “Thank you, that was… wow.”
“Thank you for trusting me.” Seungmin said quietly, again softly kissing your lips. “You look beautiful. I always think so. And you make me so happy, every part of you. Not just your body,” and he smiled shyly, “but I hope I was able to show you with mine that I love you so much.”
You didn’t trust yourself to speak after that, deciding instead to pull him close and hold him tight, kissing gently across his shoulder. “I love you, too.” You eventually whispered, and Seungmin’s grip tightened.
“How about I run you a bath, hmm?” He leaned back to kiss your forehead.
You nodded, letting him help you back on your feet, legs already sore from the workout. On the way, Seungmin paused, and you looked at him questioningly.
“What?”
“Just thinking,” Seungmin grinned. “you should wear sets like that more often-”
You punched his shoulder lightly, blush rising on your face. Seungmin merely laughed and lead you with him into the bathroom, still a lot of loving left to do.
─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───
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꒰ঌꨄ︎໒꒱ — there’s a lot you don’t understand about what’s going on with sae, but he can say the same about you. question is, once you both find out more about each other, will your growing feelings stay the same?
content: itoshi sae x female reader. fluff/angst. profanity, alcohol, reader is fairly straightforward here, pining, jealousy, misunderstandings. word count: 5.8k
༝༚༝༚ slightly shorter chapter this week ^_^ hehe we’re getting closer to the messier/exciting parts so bear with me heh :) mwah ily guys <3
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you’re starting to learn that maybe you can’t get your hopes up with itoshi sae.
a week later, you don’t hear anything from him. you both haven’t spoken since that night he took you out. not that you’re entirely too bothered—it’s a first for you, trying to get to know someone as in-demand as sae. (you don’t count eita because you’ve known him since before the fame.)
it doesn’t help that you don’t really have anyone to talk to about this. you promised sae that you wouldn’t spill, and you’re keeping that promise. somehow, it makes you feel a little warm inside; thinking that there is some sort of intimacy you share with sae that only the two of you know.
besides, even if you could talk to eita about it, you don’t want to. 
is it too quick for you to think you might fall for him?
falling for someone isn’t really in your life plans yet, especially after your last and only tumultuous relationship, but maybe itoshi sae is different. he sure seems like it.
the next week rolls around, and you still hear nothing from him. which is fine with you; you’ve resigned yourself to thinking what’s yours will be yours and not to force anything… even if you spend most of your idle time wondering if sae is ever going to post anything on his private account. did he really just create it solely because you asked him to?
you can see that he logs in to it, judging by his icon on that little viewer list in your stories. but that’s the extent to which you see him online. he doesn’t reply, or do anything much. considering his normal account is probably mainly run by his team, you guess you shouldn’t expect too much from him.
still, maybe it’s a little pathetic of you to be wearing his cap so frequently. it’s sort of become a staple piece for you, somehow. to be fair, there’s hardly any dress code in place for you to follow and considering the bulk of your workwear is mostly casual, it fits right into your style. although, after sumi pointed out one day that it’s a luxury brand and that it costs more than you would personally ever spend on a cap (even if you had the means to), you try to wear it less often. (though that seems like a waste considering it was given to you.)
“you know, you gave the boss a really good scoop, enough to last for a few months,” sumi points out during lunch, taking a lick of her vanilla ice cream as the both of you sit out on the roof, escaping the cramped office. “so why do you look so stressed?”
honestly, you didn’t even realise you did. you thought you were being normal, but it has been a while since you had a normal crush on someone, and since itoshi sae is certainly not just a normal somebody, maybe you had been acting a little off, always waiting for a text, a call even, something.
“nothing, i just haven’t been able to get a good sleep lately,” you lie, hoping that sumi won’t pry.
she doesn’t.
“hm, it’s friday today,” she hums, pondering. “maybe you should find a few of your friends, get out, let loose, you know?”
later at your desk, the clock almost striking 5pm, you think maybe you should. because as much as you love your chill friday nights alone (mainly because your mom is barely home on the weekends), you don’t think it’ll do you much good if you keep mulling over the same old thing.
but just as you’re about to go pester eita again, he gets to you first, his timing impeccable today.
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there’s an aching disappointment in your chest when you realise sae isn’t going to be there. maybe it’s just the glaring difference between the life of a celebrity versus someone normal like you. his schedule must usually be packed to the brim after all.
whatever, you’ll let him come back to you on his own time. for now, all you want to do for the weekend is to spend it having fun with the guys and settling everything you need to on saturday and spend sunday to yourself.
this possible thing between you and sae, whatever it could be, can wait. you’re not in any rush. at least, that’s what your head tells you.
your heart feels something different.
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it’s only the second time you’re actually hanging out with eita’s friends, but you’re not regretting it one bit. even on the day of the event they’d been welcoming to you, and tonight is no exception.
they’re all sat around the wooden table on the balcony, a ton of beer cans and liquor bottles littered across the table. you sit on the long end, on the long chair, right beside eita, sides of your bodies always pressed close together that it makes a glint form in oliver’s eyes.
he’s still curious, not out of concern but just because, about you and eita and sae and how everything is going to tie together. it’s not everyday he sees eita being okay with a girl that close to him and not complain that she’s a bother. it’s also not everyday that sae creates a private account. oliver got bored and saw one day that you were the first person he followed.
you must really be something.
“where even is sae today?” you hear sendou ask, a hiccup following suit. “i finally come over and he’s not even here.”
he’s sitting on your other side, his profile strangely reminding you of the very guy he’s asking about. maybe it’s the way his hair is a lighter shade of pink, maybe even his sharp jawline. his eyes are different though, more expressive, and universally soft somehow.
you remember how sae’s can look soft, his teal eyes turning gentle whenever you try to approach him. but it wasn’t that way when you first met him, that’s a given.
“i don’t know, said he was too tired,” oliver sighs, stretching in his seat.
“wasn’t he just with bianca yesterday?” yukimiya asks, oblivious to oliver’s glee.
it kind of stings, but you stay quiet, the alcohol slowly seeping into your system. you can feel eita leaning against you a little bit more, and his presence has always been comforting, so you let him.
sendou hums, index finger tapping against his near-empty beer can. “is that still going on? how long has their relationship status been a mystery already?”
karasu snorts, nudging sendou on the elbow. “salty just ‘cause you tried to ask her out and she rejected you?”
as you sit quietly and observe, it seems that sendou was once at an event with her too—apparently, he had asked her for her number and she didn’t even want to give it to him. and then a month later she “met sae and was all over him”, according to karasu.
with the exception of eita, who sits quietly beside you, they start a debate on whether or not sae’s finally starting to see bianca in a different light. or, as sendou points out, “maybe they’ve been a thing all along and just hid it really well from everyone.” it’s not exactly something you want to listen to, even if you are the most curious you’ve ever been about a guy, so you block it out from your ears. 
but oliver leans forward, resting his chin on the liquor bottle in front of him, staring straight at you. you’ve never really noticed it but his eyes are really beautiful, the different shades of green and purple making him seem ethereal just like that. 
“you’re a girl, y/n, what do you think?” he asks you, a lazy drawl in his tone.
mirroring his actions, you bat your eyelashes at him, looking innocent as ever when you answer him. “i think you guys should stop talking about that her behind her back like that,” you say, earning a raise of oliver’s brows in return. he’s surprised, to say the least, but not in a bad way.
it’s not even that you don’t want to hear about her. you’re wantonly curious, especially since you’re beginning to realise your small hint of emotions towards sae, but something tells you that these guys wouldn’t be too kind with their words if you egg them on.
karasu gives you a nod of approval that you miss before he leans back in the chair, whispering to yukimiya, “at least we all know shidou won’t totally hate y/n.” but it’s too soft for you to hear, and you probably won’t even be able to make sense of it even if you did, not with the gradually increasing level of alcohol in your system.
between intentionally drinking to not be a pathetic mess who keeps thinking about her potential love life and having to drink because you’re usually good at drinking games but not when oliver is around with the way he keeps beating you at everything, you happen not to notice a lot of things.
at one point, oliver has replaced sendou next to you, whispering snarky comments in your ear in between games. he’s not the flirting kind, at least not to you, and he doesn’t push your boundaries physically either—he’s more akin to a friend you’d love to gossip with. that’s why you don’t even think much when he tilts his camera towards you, taking a selfie with both you and eita in it.
just a normal picture of friends hanging out, oliver leaning against your legs, propped up on the chair, your own head leaning into the crook of eita’s neck, all of you evidently tipsy from the dazed look in your eyes.
what neither of you notice is oliver’s smirk as he posts the picture onto his private, betting on his target audience of one to see it.
and now, he’ll just have to wait.
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one hour later, the doorbell rings and yukimiya’s eyes glance over to eita, comfortable with an arm around you, and he takes it as his cue to open the door. eita’s probably too reluctant to move and he’ll let whoever it is at the door keep at it for hours before he’ll answer the poor guy.
he’s expecting some random food delivery, maybe from karasu because he’s been whining about wanting some chicken with his beer, or maybe even shidou showing up at the last minute from his other party. but this? the person he’s staring at in the eyes right now, is the last person he expected to see tonight. 
“wait, i thought you weren’t coming?” yukimiya asks, but oliver’s already shouting from the balcony.
“hey, sae, what the fuck are you doing here?” he asks from the balcony, taking a swig of his beer.
beside him, you hear sae’s name and your head immediately whips around to look at the door. there he is, looking tired as ever but he’s there, in the flesh, dressed in all black, jacket and sweats, teal eyes finding you from all the way across the house.
sae wordlessly walks past yukimiya, the latter following behind him, still shocked that he’s even present. sure looks like sae always means it when he says he wouldn’t come to gatherings like these.
when he gets to the balcony, earning a cock of oliver’s brow, sae tilts his head, “i was invited, wasn’t i? what’s so surprising about that?”
oliver snickers at sae’s blatant avoidance of the question. deciding he wouldn’t get anything out of him anyway, he shrugs and accepts it. besides, he can already see that sae’s too busy trying to calculate if there’s enough space for him to sit beside you, with the way his eyes are scanning your surroundings. maybe it doesn’t help how eita’s so clingy with you, his arm still around you even when you’ve already straightened up.
both sae and eita are just staring blankly at each other, and everyone is aware of it except for you, because your head’s a little dizzy and you’re still thinking whether sae popping up here is a figment of your imagination.
you’re not that drunk, are you?
you get your answer when a shadow looms over your body, the familiar scent of his cologne wafting into your nose. he smells the same he did that night you kissed him.
“what, this seat taken?” sae asks, and you dumbly look down at the small edge of space beside you.
no, it’s not, but you’re probably going to have to squeeze between him and eita if he sits there, no more legroom. you shift anyway, eita making space (albeit reluctantly), the way sae ends up being so close to you enough to send your mind into overdrive. you’re still wondering why he showed up.
you, and everyone else. not oliver though. he knows why. and it’s not like he wants to intentionally make you cough out your feelings but it looks like the other guys who are oblivious to your feelings are steering in that direction. 
“no bianca today?” karasu asks, a mocking tone in his voice.
sae doesn’t show an ounce of emotion, though. “wasn’t with her.”
“why not? scared we’re gonna make you two make out again like last time?” yukimiya asks, finally relaxing back in his seat. he says it jokingly, although you know the sentence at hand probably isn’t a joke.
“wait wait wait, you two made out?” sendou asks, incredulous, mirroring your exact thoughts. 
a jealousy creeps up your spine, engulfing your alcohol-riddled distractions. some part of you wants to know what it’d be like to be kissed by him. you purse your lips into a firm line, wondering if you were being an accidental homewrecker by kissing him that night.
“it was just a game,” sae responds, making no moves to drink the beer handed to him.
eita pulls his arms away, moving in favour of getting you a drink. it’s not that he even knows anything that’s going on between you and sae, but he can tell by how you’re stiffening up that you’re probably a little affected. he slides a shot over to you, and you down it with ease.
ignoring the way the other guys keep harping on the topic, sae turns his attention to you, flicking the tip of the cap he gave you, and you shift your gaze to look up at him, the small smirk he gives you when you do making your heart flutter again.
why is it so easy for him to do that to you?
“haven’t sold my cap yet?”
you thank the heavens you’re not too tipsy to be normal. “i’m holding out for higher bids, actually,” you quip, grinning. “you can offer one too if you want it back.”
sae hums, head tilted again as he ponders while staring at you. slowly, he leans down to your ear, whispering so only you can hear him, “how much do i have to bid for you to keep it?”
maybe it’s the liquor, but you feel your cheeks heat up. it can’t be his close proximity. it can’t be the way he’s so close that you can see the beating pulse on his neck. it can’t be the way you think you look more intimate here than you should. definitely can’t be the way all the guys have noticed and are giving each other looks.
why does he even want you to keep it? is this some sort of abstract way that he’s using to tell you that you’re not an accidental homewrecker?
you make a mental reminder to yourself to never get drunk in front of sae. you don’t want to end up blurting out some less-than-decent thoughts of yours.
“what’s wrong? too tipsy now to talk back?” sae asks, and you can only pout at him, not in your usual condition to think of smart comebacks. it makes the corner of his lips tug upwards just a little bit more than usual, his hand coming up to teasingly push the cap down further—in that seemingly affectionate way he does.
and maybe it isn’t such a good idea to agree to continue to play games, not when you got roped into never have i ever and karasu, to the delight of oliver, said he has never fucked anyone at this table. seeing that only you and eita put a finger down, everyone can tell there’s probably a complicated history between you and eita. not that you owe them any explanation, though you kind of do feel the urge to tell sae that it was in the past.
you steal a glance at him beside you, the mild look of surprise befallen on his handsome face. you wonder if he thinks badly of you now. you wonder if he’ll think badly of you when he sees what your life is really like. will he think you’re just going to be a stain on his fancy life that it’ll be better off not knowing you?
or maybe… maybe he has a complicated past too. with bianca.
funnily enough, eita loses after yukimiya says he’s never had sex with more than five girls. the disappointing part is you didn’t really get to know anything interesting about sae.
“hey, you feeling okay? you can stop playing if you wanna,” sae tells you later on, after god knows how many minutes have passed and you’re already onto the next game. you don’t even know why you agreed to play two truths one dare in the first place when you know it’ll just be a shitshow for you. 
over the course of x minutes, you’d managed to learn many things, some of which being that karasu and eita had shared a girl in bed, that yukimiya dared to do a body shot on oliver, that sae would consider bianca an important person to him, and that you really can’t make up your mind to go big or go home because oliver had just dared you to spend seven minutes in heaven with anyone of your choosing.
of course, you can safely choose eita and trust him not to do anything if you told him to. but on the flip side, you can choose who you really want. even if you’re not so sure he’d want to anymore.
“you can always choose me,” oliver jokes, lifting the mood. although the smirk on his face makes you question it. “i’ll definitely show you a good time.”
while you’re having an internal dilemma, karasu and sendou are in the background teasing oliver for being fake, saying that he shouldn’t be offering that if he’s already interested in miss manager.
but you snap out of it when the irritated sigh you hear out of sae somehow feels like the world is sending you a sign. in some way. you’re not sure if you’re reaching—is he bothered by oliver’s comments? and why does oliver look so smug all of a sudden?
you’re beginning to regret not being sober, you can’t figure this shit out. but what you do figure out is what you want to do. why think so much about tomorrow when the present is right here?
so you don’t pay it any more thoughts, getting up and dragging sae with you by the shirt, ignoring all the commotion left behind by the guys, save for eita who only stares blankly at you as you drag sae into his own room and lock the door.
“oh shit, sorry dude, didn’t mean to—”
“for the last time, just friends,” otoya snaps, cutting karasu off, although not even sendou believes him. for someone who doesn’t even care to treat people nicely, sendou can at least see that eita treats you a fair bit better than anyone else.
in the room, sae can only watch blankly as you stumble over your feet before finally settling on the edge of otoya’s bed. the envious, green side of him can’t help but wonder how many times you’d been here, in his room, with him. though it’s kind of amusing how you chose to bring sae in here now.
from what sae can tell, you’re probably a little more tipsy than you should be in these types of situation, and a part of him is relieved that you’re not here with anyone else. if you were here with otoya, would you be fooling around by now?
“so, thought you were too tired to show up—what happened?” you ask from where you are on the bed, body swaying slightly, eyes threatening to close.
the moment he takes a seat next to you, you lean close, your head coming to rest on his shoulder, and sae has no doubt that you’d already drank a lot before he came. proximity this close, he can smell the shampoo in your hair, can feel how soft it is.
“i couldn’t sleep, got bored, that’s all.”
your shoulders vibrate slightly as you giggle, pulling away, a suspicious glint in your eyes. “damn, and here i thought you came for me.”
even when you’re intoxicated you still have such a smart mouth. sae shrugs, his gaze turning ever so soft, like every time before when he looks at you. there’s something about you that he can’t quite place, something that makes him act so differently than he usually does, and for once he doesn’t hate it. “did you want me to?”
not taking the bait, you keep up your casual demeanour, even if your eyelids feel heavy and you’re about five seconds away from just passing right out on the bed.
“you know, it’s fine to say you missed me and wanted to see me,” you tell him, grin wide as ever, almost infectious. you’re only surviving on liquid courage right now, the way you unashamedly try to flirt. though, if sae isn’t moving away, does that mean he doesn’t mind?
he looks off to the side, pondering for a while before turning back to you with a straight face, “i missed you, wanted to see you.”
for a moment, you feel like your heart might stop.
“is that what you wanna hear?”
almost instinctively, you grab the stray pillow lying on the bed and fling it at sae, earning an amused laugh from him but you barely realise it, too caught up in the frustration that his words were just strung together to entertain you as opposed to his actual feelings.
crossing your arms, you look away, the exhaustion of the day coupled with the dread of tomorrow nipping away at your consciousness. “don’t patronise me, itoshi sae,” you huff, and you miss the way he looks at you with a smile on his face.
will you remember any of this tomorrow? you’re not drunk, but you’re not exactly thinking straight either.
“were you… very busy this past week?”
your question is voiced so softly, almost like you’re afraid to ask, and sae realises maybe he should’ve at least told you he wouldn’t be able to make it as early as he thought he would.
“yeah, i was.”
technically, he isn’t lying. he was back in japan last saturday, but maybe he had been too wrapped up in his thoughts to do anything else.
“with bianca?”
it’s even softer this time, and for some reason, sae’s almost kind of relieved you’re asking. he just doesn’t know what it is.
“no, not really,” he tells you. it’s complicated, and you don’t even have context; he wouldn’t even know where to begin talking to you about it.
you put your legs up on the bed, hiding your face between your knees, and sae’s left wondering whether alcohol really makes that much of a difference. you seem bold, shy and teasing all at once. his hat is still on your head, your thoughts coming out into the open.
“are you… involved with her?” your voice is muffled, but he hears you loud and clear.
a small smile dawns onto his face, safe from your view. he doesn’t really know the implications of you asking the question, but he likes how you don’t beat around the bush. it’s nice not having to constantly guess what you really mean.
and maybe it’s you rubbing off on him, but he doesn’t answer it straight.
“curious, y/n?”
when you lift your head up to look at him, you see the widest smile he’s ever given you, objectively much smaller and way more subtle than everyone else, but it’s a smile all the same and it makes your heart beat faster in your chest.
“yes,” you answer honestly, because you’re not sure when exactly you’re going to pass out but you have a feeling it’ll be soon and eita’s bed is just so soft.
sae is only mildly stunned by how straightforward you are, so he decides to do you a favour. he doesn’t usually like divulging things like this; topics that bring gossip and are undoubtedly going to come back to him if it gets out. what’s more, you work for a sports magazine so you can totally use this against him, but it isn’t even that you’re intoxicated right now, but more so that he feels he can trust you with it.
slowly, he reaches his hand over, and for once he tips the cap upwards a little so he can see your eyes when he tells you, “stupid, i’m not involved with anyone.” is that clear enough for you? he’s not sure why but he hopes it is.
what does he even want with you?
the moment you hear it, you break out into a wide smile, genuine and actually infectious this time because sae feels the corners of his lips threatening to pull upwards even more. what the heck is this feeling?
“really? i’m so relieved,” you exhale, voice a little airy, looking a little too pretty that sae immediately pulls the cap back downwards. “so,” you move on, adjusting it back in position, daring to move closer to him, face so close to his own that he has nowhere else to look except straight into your eyes. “we have four minutes left. will you grant me whatever i want, itoshi sae?”
you have a habit of calling him by his full name. he makes a mental reminder to get you to change that. not tonight though, he doesn’t want you to forget.
it’s weird how he feels around you; why does he feel so overwhelmed yet want more both at the same time? he swallows the lump in his throat, keeping his composure, “depends, you’re pretty demanding, tell me first and i’ll consider.”
“itoshi sae, i’m not!” you refute, punching him playfully on the arm and he has to hold your arm to stop you from falling off the bed. “i don’t know. the guys outside are probably expecting us to fuck or something.”
there you go, unfiltered and he kind of likes it. his fingers are still around your wrist.
but the answer is crystal clear to him.
“no.”
“huh?” it takes you a while to process. given that the only thoughts in your head as of right now are only: what does sae think of you and eita? and bianca is important to him. “what if it was just a kiss?”
he hums, then shakes his head. “nope.”
“wait, am i not pretty enough for you or something?”
you’re whining and sae finds it cute of all things. you have a tendency to misunderstand, so maybe he needs to adjust how he talks to you. he’ll see. but before he can even say anything else, your head falls into his chest, your regular breathing the only sound that fills the room after. he’s perplexed and amused all at once; how did you manage to fall asleep so quickly?
contrary to your thoughts, sae has always thought you were pretty, ever since the first night he met you. even in your private account where you post yourself in hoodies too big for your body and no makeup, clad in sweats—still pretty.
sae sighs, his fingers stroking your hair now that you’re asleep, and whispering in your ear only when you’re not able to hear him.
“if i do that, i think i’ll end up wanting more.” and you’re drunk and that’s not what he really wants.
but he does give you what you ask for, pressing a soft kiss on your forehead.
that’ll have to do for now.
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“so, nothing happened?” sendou asks, bored, as sae carries you on his back as he comes out of the room.
you’re passed out and drooling on his shoulder and he doesn’t really care about that.
“it’s sae, c’mon, did you expect something?” karasu laughs, all of them coming in from the balcony because in the seven minutes both of you had spent in the room, it managed to start raining. “maybe if it was bianca, y’know, then maybe.”
sae ignores all their passing comments, choosing to walk over to otoya, “hey, she passed out, i’m just gonna take her home.”
as much as sae isn’t particularly fond of otoya, he’s probably your closest friend here and he doesn’t want him to think he’s just going to take advantage of you.
otoya’s green eyes flicker to the clock on the wall before he shakes his head, speaking softly so the others won’t hear. “nah, just put her in the guest bedroom. i’ll send her back in the morning. you can head back first.”
there’s an irritation that builds up inside him, but sae maintains his emotionless expression, remembering that otoya knows you much more than he does. “i could just—”
“she doesn’t want to go home tonight,” otoya cuts in, a warning glare in his eyes. “trust me.”
suddenly, sae remembers the last time he met you, your swollen cheek and the way your eyes were glazed over. and he wants to ask otoya what it’s all about but this is about you, and he really shouldn’t ask someone else.
“fine,” sae concedes. if whatever’s at home makes you miserable, he won’t bring you there. “i’ll put her in there before i go.”
there’s a lot more otoya would like to ask sae, because oliver’s not the only one curious at sae’s seemingly odd behaviour. he wants to know what exactly he thinks about you, but everyone’s still around and it’s not a good time, so he sucks it up and lets it go for tonight.
as sae puts you down on the bed and pulls the blanket over you, he gets a brief flashback of the night he set bianca down in her hotel room. you’re both so similar, and yet not at all.
and when he’s about to turn and go, your fingers reach out to tug at the hem of his jacket sleeve, almost effectively making sae’s heart leap out of his chest. your eyes are still shut, so there’s no chance you’re actually conscious right now. still, your mouth opens.
“stay with me?”
sae stills. do you know it’s him? or do you think he’s otoya? either way, you and bianca really are similar, even when you’re not completely awake. so why… why are his reactions so different?
it’s not like he has anything on tomorrow, so it’s really no imposition.
before he knows it, he’s sitting on the floor, right next to where you sleep on the bed, your fingers enveloped in his palm, his head propped on the mattress, his own exhaustion catching up to him.
it’s been a messy week; trying to gather his thoughts about you every single time he’s free, having to talk to bianca and thinking about that, and then coming back just to see oliver and otoya so close to you that it bothers him a little. finding out about you and otoya takes the cake, though.
how special is otoya to you?
the question lingers unanswered as he drifts to sleep, both of you subconsciously finding comfort in the other’s innocent warmth.
the next morning when you wake up, you’re half shocked half happy to find sae where he is, sleeping there peacefully, the previous night’s exhaustion dissipating from his face.
did he take care of you last night? you can only hope you didn’t puke in front of him. that would be embarrassing.
you’d like to stay, wait for him to wake up and talk to him and make sure you didn’t say or do anything too out of line because your memory’s a little foggy, bits and pieces that you can’t quite piece together or even tell if they’re real or dreams.
but you can’t.
you remember what day it is today and reluctantly get out of bed. though, feeling a little cheeky, you quietly grab a small black marker out of the drawer, suppressing a grin as you scribble on sae’s palms, hoping he won’t wake up from this.
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a couple hours later, by the time sae gets up, the bed is cold and still undone. it’s already noon, and somehow the first thing he thinks of when he wakes up is you—are you already home? did otoya send you?
but the question that pops up in the forefront of his mind when he sees otoya lazing around on his couch later on is none of that.
and to be fair, otoya has the very same question in his head.
“do you like her or something? y/n.”
otoya is the one to ask, eyes still glued onto his phone screen, typing something out. sae can’t help but wonder if he’s talking to you. 
“what’s it to you?” sae asks. he can hear the snores of the other guys coming from otoya’s room.
otoya shrugs. “just curious. she’s my best friend after all.”
there’s a certain possessiveness in the way he says it that rubs sae the wrong way. still, sae supposes that if otoya’s your best friend, he shouldn’t be too impulsive with his words.
“maybe i like her,” sae says, the tension in the air getting thicker.
“in what way?” otoya still hasn’t looked up from his phone.
“same way you do.”
“i don’t know what you mean.”
otoya scoffs, both of them acting coy with one another. “bianca and y/n, huh? busy guy,” otoya sighs, tossing his phone aside and getting up, walking towards sae, hands in his pocket. both of them are staring the other down, feeling the situation out. “i think i suit y/n better, you can have bianca.”
now it’s sae’s turn to scoff, sharp eyes piercing through otoya’s own. “why don’t we let y/n decide for herself, huh?” he quips, before grabbing his car keys out of his pocket and leaving through the front door.
as he settles down in his car and turns the engine on, it’s only then that he realises the black marks on his palm. 
thank you ᥣ𐭊
somehow, just one look at it is enough to ease the tension on his shoulders.
you really can do wonders.
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extras !
otoya’s hostility towards sae was intentional.
sae didn’t try to wash your writing off—he let it fade away naturally.
if yn was sober, she would’ve not been as straightforward as he was in the room with sae. but she definitely would’ve flustered sae a lot more with her playful personality.
the whole time, oliver was live recounting the events of the night to miss manager, all of which are left on read.
if bianca had been there, sae would have been a lot more cautious about his actions and probably wouldn’t have acted too close to y/n.
random fact #1: otoya plays bass, used to perform in a band back in university. part of how he got so many girls interested in him but he was always with y/n which made a lot of them unhappy.
random fact #2: sae has never really been jealous before so now that he’s feeling it, he’s a lot more sensitive to it than normal people.
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taglist! @yuzurins @saeskiss @raphsimp @lust4rin @mxplesyrvp @chieeeeeee @yumekolovesyukimiya @kunirayuna39 @auranny @sereniteav @gskill @saesgrl @riseena @rikijbol @sagejin @shironagi @veecynii
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thetriumphantpanda ¡ 8 months
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feel the rain on your skin | din djarin
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Summary | The Mandalorian has never felt the rain on his face.
Pairing | Din Djarin x F!Reader
Word Count | 1.5K
Warnings | Future chapters will include smut, but this one just involves a lot of yearning mainly.
Authors Note | I saw this absolutely stunning piece of work by @plattenbauprinz and I couldn't let it lie, I had to write it. I have never written for Din before, because he's like a comfort blanket to me, but I couldn't resist. This will be part of a longer series which I cannot wait to share with you all. As always, comments, reblogs and freaking out in my ask box are all welcome and if you enjoyed this, please consider supporting me with a donation to my Ko-Fi.
I no longer use taglists - please follow @thetriumpantpandanotifs and turn on notifications to know when I upload fics.
Series Masterlist | Main Masterlist | Ko-Fi
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It’s raining. You can’t remember the last time you were anywhere that it rained. The Mandalorian has acquiesced to you wanting the Crest open so you can listen to the drops pelt the ground. It’s comforting. Reminds you of home. Not that you have a home anymore. No family, no base to dream of returning to, but it’s comforting none-the-less. 
It hadn’t even been planned like this, The Mandalorian and you, it had just sort of happened. You’d hurt yourself in front of him, thought that the shootout he’d caused was over. You’d moved from where you were cowering, attempting to run anywhere that might be safer than the boxes you’d used as a barricade. You’d been wrong though. He’d been waiting for his final assailant, who you’d later learned was his bounty, to show himself. He’d done just that, almost simultaneously as you’d started running for the door on the opposite side of the street. The blaster had grazed your upper arm – not the worst injury by any means, but you still cried out, crumpled to the ground in pain, and waited for what you’d assumed would be your ending. 
You’d listened as the two exchanged more fire until the town was silent again. You’d convinced yourself he’d walked away, and you wouldn’t have blamed him really, he didn’t owe you anything, your injury was your own fault, and in the grand scheme of things, it wasn’t even that bad, you were just being dramatic. But then, his shadow fell over your body, blocking out the early afternoon sun as he bent, picked you up bridal style and carried you all the way to his ship. He’d patched you up silently, left you there on your own whilst he retrieved the body of his bounty and returned. 
“Do you have somewhere to go?” He asked, clearing up the mess he’d made cleaning you up. 
Technically you did. The small, dark room you called home on this Godforsaken planet. But no-one would miss you, no friends, just the landlord that would miss his money. So, you shake your head. 
That’s how it had been for months. Trailing behind him wherever he went. It started as him taking you to the next planet, he was going to drop you there, but when he turned to you and asked if you thought it would do, you’d shaken your head and said no. It was a lie, because wherever it was – you don’t remember now – it would have been fine. It was more of a test, testing to see what he would do. You certainly didn’t expect him to shrug and lead you back to The Crest. This had continued for months, a sort of dance between the two of you, until he’d simply stopped asking you. You think it’s because secretly, not that he would actually admit it, he’s lonely. Even though he has The Child, the little green monster who you think might actually be the real reason you don’t want to leave. He’s more silent than The Mandalorian, but when he looks at you with those buggy eyes and starts to cause havoc, you can’t help but let your heart swell. 
He's a man of few words, The Mandalorian – doesn’t like small talk, tends to remain silent when you sit with him the cockpit and chatter away. You don’t really know much about him apart from what you’d learnt about their creed in your younger years. 
“You know, if I’m going to stay with you, you’ll have to tell me something about you eventually.” You teased one time, he was sat in his chair in the cockpit, you were behind him, eating some ration pack. All he’d done was huff through his modulator. Sounded more like a challenge to you than anything else.  
And so here you were, months later, sitting just inside The Crest, just enough to keep yourself dry, knees brought up to your chest as you let the cool air fall over your body. You can hear his heavy footsteps before you sense him next to you. When you tip your head up, he’s leaning on his right side against the opening of the ship, arms crossed over his chest. 
“You know, when I was little, I used to run around in the rain,” You muse, “Get all muddy and wet, I wonder why we never do that when we grow up.” 
“I’ve never felt the rain.” It’s a simple confession but one that almost breaks your heart, because of course he hasn’t. Committed to his creed and The Way, this man who you really think at this point was made purely of beskar, of course he’d not felt the rain on his skin. 
You stand slowly, taking tentative steps down the ramp until you can feel the drops hitting your skin. It’s cold, is the first thing you register, and then you start laughing when you see him, still leaning against the side of The Crest with his arms folded, helmet tilted in a way that you just know means he’s frowning under there. 
“Come on.” You urge, holding out your hand as you walk a few more steps backwards. 
When he doesn’t follow you, you hold your arms out and spin, holding your face to the sky as the water hits your skin. You giggle again until you slip, the mud underfoot making you unsteady. You would have fallen if it hadn’t been for the strong arm that wraps around your middle to keep you up. When you pull yourself up, your face is almost close enough to his visor that you could breathe onto him and draw shapes in the clouds you leave behind. He doesn’t let you go though.
You can feel the rain soaking your hair, seeping through your clothes, and there’s something oddly romantic about the way he’s holding you, his hand splayed across your lower back. If this had been anyone else, they’d lean in and kiss you, you just know it. But he isn’t anyone else, he’s The Mandalorian, so he finally unravels his arm from your back and moves to walk away. 
“Hey,” You say softly, gripping his wrist, turning him back to you, “Just trust me, okay?”
He gives a short nod. You stand in front of him, close your eyes, and put your hands on his helmet. You don’t add any pressure, you’re not going to force him to do this, but you’re going to give him the choice. Eyes firmly pressed shut, you wait. It feels like an eternity, but then you feel his gloved hands cover your own, some kind of mechanical sound you’ve never heard before, but then your hands are moving with his own, moving the helmet from his face. 
You keep your eyes closed as your hands fall from beneath his own. You don’t know why but you place them on the cool metal of his chest as you tilt your head back up to the rain, letting it cleanse you, although from what you don’t know. You don’t know how long you stay like this, your hands on his chest, but it feels like hours. Then, you feel the gloved hand that isn’t clutching his helmet meet the skin of your face. 
You gasp when he cups your face. It’s soft, gentle, and he just rests it there for a moment, letting your cheek tip further into his touch. Then, his thumb starts to move slowly across your skin, rubbing a line across your cheek that feels like it might set you alight. Then, his gloved thumb pulls down and drags across your bottom lip. You think now about how easy it would be to flutter your eyes open and look at him, look at the man he really is under all his metal, but you don’t, you wouldn’t dare. You just stand there, letting him take you in with his naked eyes. 
“Mesh’la.”
You have no idea what it means, but you think it must be important, something he’s not yet ready to tell you, if he speaks it in his own language and not the one you share. But his voice, oh his voice, it’s so pretty, you think. Then, his warm touch is gone. You breathe out air you hadn’t realized you were holding onto. 
“You can look now.” His voice is back to what it usually sounds likes, meaning his helmet is back on. 
You slowly blink your eyes open, letting them adjust to the light. He’s stood in front of you, stoic as ever, as if he hadn’t just been the most vulnerable he’s ever been in front of you. You want to run to him, wrap yourself in him, ask him to touch you again and never let go. You don’t though, you just follow behind him back into the dry cover of The Crest. 
“You’re cold.” He observes simply when you start to shiver, sodden clothes sticking to you. 
“I-I’m f-fine.” Your teeth chatter, betraying you. 
He rummages through a box, pulling out clean clothes. They’re his, they’ll drown you when you wear them, but something about this feels like turning a corner, all of this does, so you take them when they’re offered to you. Set them gently on the counter in the fresher as you wait for the water to warm enough. And as you stand under the slow fall of warm water, you wonder what other firsts you might be able to show The Mandalorian. 
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rivensdefenseattorney ¡ 3 months
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The Girls' Hair (Part 1)
Decided to post something a bit different because I've been thinking about it a lot. I have the vision of all the girls in my head, that I hope to get commissioned one day, but for now I'll just post bits and pieces here.
One thing I've really liked thinking about was the girls' hair because I think hair can tell a lot about who a person is, and that it often changes as they do.
Aisha
To preface, I love Aisha/Layla's hair in the OG series, but I just have a special affinity for locs, and then I saw The Little Mermaid last year, so it basically secured my vision.
Anyways, I imagine Aisha with long locs, since she's been growing them since she was a child. Throughout the years she's experimented with different styles and such, but she mainly keeps her styling to a minimum since she's very active. She enjoys sewing shells and beads from Andros into them, so she can always have a little bit of home with her.
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Bloom
I imagine Bloom having more curly/wavy hair. She goes through the phase of thinking she needs to straighten it like many do, but ultimately realizing it's fine to embrace it. She fluctuates between occasionally straightening out her hair and wearing it naturally. Hair is also a comfort/shield for Bloom, so she likes to keep it long. However, sometimes she cuts bangs and layers, so she feels like she's trying a new hairstyle. More often than not, she keeps it simple.
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Tecna
In the beginning I imagine Tecna keeping her hair very neat and clean. The cuts are angled, blunt, and precise. She rarely lets her hair grow past her shoulders because she doesn't want to spend time brushing through and styling long hair. She's not afraid of cutting her hair if at any point she doesn't feel like dealing with it. She often shaves the sides and/or underside, so there's less to maintain.
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Later on, Tecna grows more comfortable with having "messier" hair, and comes to view her hair as another outlet to express herself. She starts to just have fun with it, letting her friends give her all kinds of cuts, patterns, and lengths.
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Winx Rewrite Master Post
Part 2
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softpine ¡ 11 days
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can i just word vomit for a min...
there was a point in late 2023 where i felt like i overstayed my welcome on simblr and i planned on just wrapping frozen pines up as quickly as possible and moving on. continuing to write when it's clear that the audience for it is dwindling felt so embarrassing that i almost didn't even want to put effort into it anymore, because i was afraid it just looked pathetic (obligatory disclaimer: no one made me feel this way, you're all so lovely, it's just the nature of seeing a community change over 7 years). writing already feels very personal to me and it's becoming increasingly harder for me to put my work out there (again, for reasons unrelated to simblr and entirely related to mental illness 🤙🏻). i know my story is so long that it deters new readers, and so sporadic that it makes old readers drop off with time. this has really been bothering me lately because i don't know what i can do to fix it. i don't think there IS anything i can do.
but. okay. don't make fun of me for saying this. dan and phil returning to youtube kinda changed my mindset? they may be pulling a fraction of the views they got in their peak, but they're happier than they've ever been and they're working on things they actually want to do, not things they think will be particularly popular. seeing that has made me realize that it is possible to keep finding joy in a community that has largely moved on without you. obviously my little blog is nowhere near the same scale, so this feels kind of silly, but i've been thinking about all the things i used to do on simblr that were never fun for me, i mainly did them because i knew they would get notes or because i felt like i had to do it. making cc, lookbooks, sim requests, reshade help (oh my god the reshade help), lot downloads, etc. they DID get notes, but i can't imagine spending my time doing any of that stuff ever again tbh.
on top of that, it makes me sad to scroll through my dash and realize that i don't recognize most of the people i see anymore. i still talk to some wonderful people here who i consider friends and that's invaluable to me (💖), but the broader community aspect is something i no longer feel a part of. and believe me, i know i'm at fault here because it's not like i'm going out of my way to talk to new people or participate in trends like i used to. i don't blame anyone except the passage of time!!
frozen pines, and simblr by extension, played such a gigantic part in my life when i needed it the most. and that's not to say that i don't still care about it, because i absolutely do, but it's a different kind of feeling. i've always promised that i would give frozen pines a satisfying conclusion rather than silently abandoning it someday, and though i do intend to keep that promise, i know it's possible that i might never get there. but i don't want to let my own insecurities get in the way of something i really enjoy doing. writing is an intrinsic piece of me that i'll never quit doing, but sharing my writing on tumblr is something that can't (and shouldn't) last forever. i know that. but i'm going to enjoy it to the fullest while we're all still here together 💞
to anyone who's still reading my silly story after all these years (especially those of you who still check in on my blog even though you're not on simblr anymore): thank you thank you thank you THANK YOUUU. you don't have to change a single thing about what you're doing. this is not me fishing for compliments or putting down an ultimatum, this is just me trying to make sense of my feelings.
but with all this being said, i've decided to quit simblr and start my own exclusive streaming service for $60 a year, i hope you'll all support me as i increase my production value 😌
(just kidding. ily. okay that's all)
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96 notes ¡ View notes
snippychicke ¡ 4 months
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It's Just Business -- Four
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Fandom: One Piece (LA mainly)
Rating: Teen so far
Pairing: Sanji/Reader
Warnings: No real warnings, but god, I hope you like pining
Summary: You felt like you had known Sanji forever, considering your family had been the main merchants Zeff used to supply the Baratie. You had a small crush on him, but knew it was hopeless considering you were the one woman he didn't seem to pine over. 
It was fine. Or so you thought until you ended up on the Going Merry as a bookkeeper and supply manager. Being around him 24/7 was a lot more difficult than just a few days a week.  
(Please note 》°《 denotes a scene in the past while -*- will be a regular scene break. Because yeah, I like my non-linear story telling.)
Masterpost | Ao3
Coco village was freed of Arlong after several long years. You had already talked with several of the townsfolk about restarting trade routes to help restore their village-- they did have some of the best tangerines in the region, after all. Plus, being the closest to the Baratie meant even fresher items for the restaurant, as well as a large boost to their own economy. 
Business was your trade, and one of the very few ways you could help out. You also helped Sanji prep food for the entire community as a celebration, which challenged the small set of culinary skills you did have. Still, you would take it any day over the fight had left you wondering how you were even standing. 
(You also desperately tried not to think that this might be the last time you watched him cook. To see the light in his eyes as he mentally went over his recipe, assuring everything was going to be perfect. 
Eventually the evening wore into the middle of the night and you found yourself sitting at one of the few bonfires still burning. You were nestled between Nami and Sanji (Well, closer to Sanji than Nami) with the rest of the Strawhat crew circling the fire as well. You enjoyed just listening to the others, the events of the day leaving you tired. It was probably more than okay for you to slip away to bedrolls Nami’s sister had prepared for the crew, or even trekking back to the Going Merry to crash, but you felt reluctant to leave. Even if you were struggling to keep your eyes open. 
"It'll be nice not to be the only girl onboard," Nami sighed during a lull in the conversation, making you frown as you glanced over at her. "Being surrounded by those three was hard enough, let alone Chef Flirt."
Sanji leaned forward, giving the redhead a wink. “Just want to make sure you’re aware how beautiful you are, Nami dear”
Your chest tightened. You had assumed she had known, but then again, Luffy was still insisting you were part of the crew. "Actually…I'm not staying." Your words caught the attention of everyone else, and suddenly you had five pairs of eyes staring at you, making things even worse. "I came to make sure you idiots got here safe and sound,” You insisted against the looks of disbelief that everyone was giving you. “I can't just abandon my job and become a pirate." 
Even if Sanji was doing the same thing. Even if Zeff himself had encouraged you to embrace the chance if you had found it appetizing. And… you kind of did. Even with the fighting, you enjoyed being around the Strawhat Crew and could see yourself becoming quick friends with all of them.
"But you're part of our crew," Luffy was the first to actually protest. "Even with our Navigator back, we need you at the helm! Plus you’re the bookkeeper!" 
“Your ship isn't that big that you need both a navigator and a helmsman,” You argued. “And surely between the five of you, you can manage your own supplies and ledgers." 
"We have a thief, a liar, and Luffy," Zoro of all people pointed out, opening his eye that had been closed before. "And I'm not keeping track of anything." 
Before you could argue, Sanji nudged your shoulder. "You really want to keep ferrying supplies back and forth to the Baratie the rest of your life? The same thing you've been doing since we were kids?" 
Your stomach twisted at the thought. At seeing the firelight reflected in his eyes as he gave you a pleading look. "Well, no," You admitted slowly. Especially considering he wouldn't be there anymore. You loved Zeff, Patty, and everyone else. But… No Sanji to talk and tease? It would be like the restaurant lost its heart…. 
But it was the responsible thing to do. It was good, steady, profitable work. 
"What's your dream?" Luffy asked, staring at you intently from across the fire, the flames flickering in his dark eyes. (There was just something about this boy you couldn't put your finger on that both scared yet compelled you at the same time.)
Dream? You huffed at the thought as you shook your head. You never really had a dream; just short term goals. You had been happy enough with life that you never really questioned what the future could hold. You had listened to Sanji talk about the All Blue through the years with fondness as well as envy. Nothing brought you passion like that. Nothing called you so much to daydream about it day after day, year after year. 
"I don't have one," You admitted quietly with a half-hearted shrug. 
But Luffy refused to take that as an answer. "Surely there's something you want?” he pressed. “More than anything?" 
Something you wanted more than anything? More than anything, you… just wanted to be happy. But compared to Luffy’s dream of being the King of Pirates, Zoro’s goal to be the world’s best swordsman, and Sanji’s own dream of finding the All Blue, your ‘dream’ (if it could really be called that) would likely fall flat. No matter what Nami and Usopp’s own dreams were. 
You shrugged your shoulders. “Not really? I mean, seeing new places would be fun," You offered, hoping no one could tell your cheeks were darkening in the firelight. “But I don’t know if it's enough to compel me to leave everything I know behind.” 
~*~
Sanji swore he could feel his heart drop into his stomach as you dug your heels into your refusal. The bright future he had just been daydreaming of suddenly grew dark as you faded from it. 
Were you really so against the idea of joining the crew? Of becoming a pirate? Despite pirates being the cause of your parents death, you hadn’t seemed to hold any ill-will to the so-called profession itself. Plus you had just admitted that you didn’t want to stay in the same routine for the rest of your life. 
Without thinking, Sanji placed his hand over yours, bringing your attention to him. Those wide, bright eyes that he loved so much, now filled with doubt, worry. 
“What about finding the All Blue together?” he asked softly, squeezing your hand softly. In all of his daydreams of finding the uncharted area, seeing the mixture of all the four seas together, you had been right there beside him. To the point he couldn’t  imagine the All Blue without you there, grinning ear-to-ear and just as excited as him. 
You bit your lip as you looked away, though you squeezed his hand softly. He could tell you were lost in thought, allowed you a moment to go over the pros and cons in your head as you always did, debating if it was worth the risk. 
(Please, he prayed, let him be worth the risk.) 
You sighed in defeat, leaning against him suddenly with your head on his shoulder. “Okay, fine. I’ll join your crew.” 
He heard the other cheer, but it mostly fell on deaf ears as he untangled his hand from yours so he could wrap his arm around your shoulders, squeezing you tightly as he pressed a kiss to your hair. “Thank you,” he whispered to the crown of your hair. 
"I've sailed the same stretch of water all my life,” you stated just as softly. “It'll be neat to see other places for once."
Sanji was determined to show you the world as you searched for the All Blue. Whatever it took so you didn’t regret your choice. He’d hunt down every natural and man-made wonder to make it up to you if need be.  
》°《
"Oh god, you're gonna be one of those," You swore when you found Sanji on the back deck of the Baratie that was restricted to staff only and mostly filled with crates and barrels of overstock. 
But your focus was on the thin white cigarette in his mouth, the lit tip bright in the shadow cast by the restaurant. A lot of the cooks smoked, so it wasn't surprising to see Sanji had picked up the habit. Yet you couldn't help wrinkle your nose--mainly just to give him grief. 
"Oh shut it. I've heard enough from Zeff," He grumbled as you perched yourself on the crate he was leaning on. 
"He means well." Sanji merely grunted at your defense of the older man. Silence fell and blanketed the air as you both looked out at the ocean, listening to the waves gently lap at the sides of the restaurant. 
"I guess I should break the news," You sighed, and watched his shoulder tense as he took a deep inhale of the cigarette. It had been a few weeks since the death of your parents-- since you found your way back to the Baratie where you had been accepted with open arms by the crew, proving they were every bit the family you had felt. Yet you knew you weren’t one to stay in one place, used to having the wind in your hair as you headed to the next destination. Bussing tables, waitressing, all the jobs you were qualified for on the Baratie drove you up the wall after doing it for a few days in a row. 
He knew you couldn’t stay still, and you knew he didn’t like the idea of you leaving. 
But the suppliers Zeff had reached out to proved that they did not hold to the same kind of quality that you believed the restaurant deserved. "I'm going to take over my parent's route. My vessel will be smaller, so I'll have to make more frequent trips, but like Zeff said, that just means fresher ingredients for the restaurant." 
The relief in Sanji's frame was easy to see, warming your heart. You even caught a small smile on his face as flicked away the ash into the ocean. "Aw, were you worried, lil' eggplant?" 
He rolled his eyes, though his smile didn't fade even as he looked up at you. "Didn't want to have to deal with some random idiots that don't know what they're doing. That's all." 
"Mmhmm," You hummed doubtfully as you slid down from your perch to stand beside him, nudging his shoulder with your own. (You were a little irritated that he had reached his growth spurt and was now taller than you.) "Either way you're not getting rid of me that easily. You're gonna be stuck with me forever." 
You couldn't imagine leaving the crew after everything. Just being alone the few days between the restaurant and port made you nervous enough. But you had to pull your weight, prove that while you may not serve the restaurant directly, you were vital enough to keep around. 
What you weren't expecting was Sanji suddenly wrapping an arm around your waist, pulling you close to him to the point your back was pressed against his chest as he muttered in your ear. "Is that a promise, lil' miss." 
Your heart was pounding in your chest from the near-sultry tone. You knew he was just playing, just seeing if he could get you flustered. A game of chicken. That's all this was. You pushed away the butterflies and twisted in his grip and wrapped your arms around his shoulders with a devious grin, hoping your blush didn't betray you. "It's a threat, my good sir." 
Sanji smirked, his gaze lingering on you for a long moment before he leaned in, pressing a kiss to your forehead. A friendly gesture… or so you had convinced yourself as he let you go. 
Because there was no way he saw you like the fancy ladies that visited the Baratie. Not when you had known each other for so long. You were friends. Friends that playfully flirted just like you bantered and cussed each other out. 
 Right? 
156 notes ¡ View notes
asthronauta ¡ 5 months
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NACIDO DE MUGGLES | Sirius Black × Male Reader.
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Summary: During the first wizarding war, muggleborns were stalked day and night. Many of them left their homes and never came back. Sirius' boyfriend was one of them. He was a muggleborn.
Warnings: Angst, Partially based on the cannon (Fuck J.K, btw), Drama, Established relationship, I'm a hopeless romantic so Fluff, but like a sad one. You know, war situation, there is sadness and darkness involved. But also love from two people who care about each other :( <3. Enjoy!
(Also, this may be long). spoiler, it was.
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Helloo, this is the first time I'm posting one of my fanfics so I'm kind of nervous. Mainly because English is not my first language and I'll probably make a lot of mistakes when writing. Feel free to tell me if you see any.
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It was winter of 1979. It was a cold and dark winter for the wizarding world, who lived terrified under the shadow of disappearances and threats from Voldemort and his followers. The war, which had already started several years ago, was more present and active than ever. Every day a new missing person appeared on the cover of The Daily Prophet. Every day the ministry made new excuses to give people a false sense of hope. Every day Sirius found it more difficult to sleep with the uncertainty of not knowing what was happening in his boyfriend's life.
Sirius and his boyfriend hadn't seen each other in a long time. They went from seeing each other every day at Hogwarts to seeing each other from time to time. It was almost a month since Sirius had last seen [Y/N]. And he worried more every day. [Y/N] hadn't sent him any letters in a while now. Sirius literally had no idea what was going on in his life. And it didn't help that there were more muggleborns missing every day. [Y/N] was one of them, he was also a muggleborn. It was torture for Sirius to read the morning newspaper every day. Thinking that, perhaps, maybe this time his boyfriend would be on the cover of The Daily Prophet, as one of the many missing people that week.
So, on one of those long winter nights when he couldn't sleep, he decided to send him a letter. He knew it was risky. He knew that if [Y/N] had not sent him any letters in all that time it was for a reason. But Sirius couldn't take it anymore. He wanted, he needed to know about [Y/N]. He took a piece of paper and dipped his quill into the ink. He quickly began to slide the quill over the paper, with the delicacy and elegance of a Black. His cursive handwriting was still intact. Sirius was careful not to name [Y/N] or himself. He didn't know what he was dealing with so he decided not to risk it and compromise [Y/N] or himself.
The letter reads:
I hope this letter finds you. I've been worried about you, it's been a long time since you last sent me a letter. If you can read this, please, come to see me. I can't write much here but please, come. I miss you.
Yours truly, your lover for life;
Padfoot.
Sirius sighed, rereading the letter. He didn't care about sounding desperate, the only thing he was thinking about at that moment was letting [Y/N] see how worried he was. He folded the paper and placed it in an envelope, sealing it with a plain stamp. He went to the window, letting his owl out, carrying the letter in his paw. He watched him fly away and disappear into the night sky. Sirius could only hope he would receive an answer soon.
But that didn't happen. It had been a whole week since he sent the letter and he still had not received a response. His owl had returned, without the letter, but also without an answer. At least Sirius knew that [Y/N] had received the letter. So he decided to wait another week. If that week passed and he still did not receive a response he would take more drastic measures. But he didn't want to come to that. So he decided to ignore his concern and be patient. Lucky for him, an owl knocked on his window that week. As soon as he saw her he recognized her. It was [Y/N]'s owl. Unable to hide the smile from his face, Sirius opened the window, letting [Y/N]'s owl in. Gently caressing her head and taking the letter she was carrying with her. Without worrying too much about tearing the paper and with nerves on edge, Sirius opened the letter. Noticing his boyfriend's handwriting on the paper when he unfolded it.
My dear Padfoot.
I've had a difficult week. But luckily, no one has noticed my situation. Even so, acquaintances of mine who are in the same situation as me have received threats. I don't feel safe at all. I have been cautious. I've been watching my steps and who I talk to. I trust my owl to deliver this letter to you and only you. Still, I'm afraid that something could happen to her. Please take care of her and check if she's okay. And please burn this letter after reading it. I can not risk. This letter is very compromising to me.
You know who.
PS. I miss you too. But I can't see you, not right now. I'm sorry. I'll send you a letter when I feel safe enough to meet. I love you.
Sirius' smile faded as he read the letter. An uncomfortable feeling of anxiety filled his chest. He bit his lip, he knew that the situation the muggleborns found themselves in was not easy, but he didn't think (or didn't want to think) that [Y/N] was in such a tense situation. He smiled a little at the 'I love you' at the end.
Fuck, I miss him so much.
He went to the fireplace and threw the letter into the fire. He watched the letter burn for a few seconds and turned to [Y/N]'s owl. “Hey there buddy” He said softly, smiling at the bird. “Did you have a good trip?” He reached out to her and stroked her head. The bird received the petting happily, closing her eyes and letting Sirius stroke her feathers. “Do you think you can deliver one more letter?” The bird looked at Sirius with expectant eyes. “I think that's a yes,” Sirius said and chuckled softly. He took a quill and paper and began to write.
My love,
I miss you and I worry about you. But I understand that you can't come to see me right now. I love you too and I'll wait for you with all the patience in the world. Stay safe, my love.
Yours, Padfoot.
PS. Thank you for answering me, I almost went crazy these days. Now I know everything is alright. Or, well, at least not that bad. I love you.
Sirius smiled softly and put the letter in an envelope. Sealing it the same way he had sealed the previous one. He turned his attention to [Y/N]'s owl and made sure she was okay. He checked under her wings, looking for any wounds or bruises. But he found nothing. The bird was fine. He offered her some water and after a little rest, the owl departed, carrying Sirius' letter in her paw.
•
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•
•
The initial calm that Sirius felt faded as the days passed. Maybe he was being a little demanding by waiting for another letter from [Y/N], but he couldn't help it. He and [Y/N] didn't usually spend that much time apart and when they did they were able to send each other letters several times a day. His record was 24 letters in one week. Sirius was proud of that. Anyway, despite the constant worry he carried with him, Sirius also had a busy week. He had recently offered his parents' former house to the Order so they could meet there. So he had been busy working alongside them. Still, he hoped to receive a letter from [Y/N] soon.
On a rainy day, while Sirius was answering letters from the Order, an owl knocked on his window. Sirius sighed, it wasn't [Y/N]'s owl, so he just thought it would be another letter to the Order. He got up and let the poor bird in, it was all wet from the rain. He took the letter, and without hoping for anything he opened it. The paper was a little wet and the ink was a little smudged, but Sirius could notice a familiar handwriting. He was surprised, he didn't expect the letter to be from [Y/N]. Still, he was happy. Very happy.
Don't send me any more letters. My owl has returned with her wings burned. Someone tried to attack her. I think they suspect she belongs to a M. I have sent another owl to deliver this letter to you. Don't send me anything anymore, don't respond to this letter. I'm afraid I'm not safe right now. Don't send me anything, I'll send you a letter when I feel safe. Burn this letter too.
The letter wasn't even signed. And the fact that [Y/N] hadn't even dared to write the word 'Muggleborn' sent a chill down his spine. Now his worry had increased threefold. Was [Y/N] in danger…? Sirius gulped. Thinking about that made him too anxious. He quickly threw the letter into the fire, as if he were afraid that someone behind him would see it, even though he was alone in the room. Sirius couldn't help but feel frustrated. He, as well as [Y/N], couldn't do anything about it. They simply had to wish for the best and remain unnoticed. Sirius felt a little of stupid, Why the hell do I work with the Order if all I do is answer letters? But he also understood that things were not so simple. So he just sucked in his frustration. He turned his gaze to the owl and with a slight movement of his wand he dried it completely. Sirius didn't know if owls could catch colds, but at least he did something for the bird. He was wondering where [Y/N] had gotten that owl from. When the storm calmed down the bird left, and Sirius returned to his work of answering letters.
•
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•
•
After receiving that letter from [Y/N], Sirius decided to do exactly what [Y/N] asked of him. Wait. Wait until [Y/N] decides to send him a letter. But it was difficult to do so when the days passed and he still did not receive any letter from him. But Sirius held back. He knew that if he were to do something stupid, [Y/N]'s life could be in danger. And Sirius couldn't deal with the thought of something happening to [Y/N]. So he just waited. And the days passed, many days passed. The month had already ended and still nothing. Sirius was about to go find [Y/N] himself. Every day he fought the urge to write him a letter or go looking for him, but he had to control himself. He couldn't risk sending him a letter, and he didn't know exactly where [Y/N] was to go looking for him anyway. So his only option was to wait. And Sirius hated waiting, but he did it anyway. Because [Y/N]'s safety was the most important thing to him
But finally, after controlling his impulse to send a letter to him for a long time, an owl came to Sirius' window. At first Sirius didn't think it was a letter from [Y/N]. It wasn't his owl and it wasn't the owl that had given him his letter the last time either. So he simply took the letter as if it were another one addressed to the Order. But he opened it anyway, and to his surprise, it was from [Y/N]. Without being able to hide the big smile on his face, he opened the letter, finding his boyfriend's handwriting on the paper again.
Hello. Forgive me for not writing to you sooner. I would have liked to do it sooner, but I couldn't. It would have been very risky. I'm okay, I have been hiding these last few months. But I'm fine. Since the incident with my owl I have kept a low profile. I was afraid they were chasing me. I feel safer now. And I want us to meet. I miss you. Behind the letter is the address and time of our meeting. I'll wait for you. I love you. You already know what to do with this letter, burn it. And don't send me a reply. See you then.
You know who.
Sirius was so happy that he kissed the letter. The bitter taste of ink seeped into his mouth but he didn't care. He was smiling from ear to ear, not only was [Y/N] okay, but he would also see him after so long. Sirius turned the letter over, finding himself facing a familiar address. It was in Muggle London. He and [Y/N] had been on a few dates there before, so it would be easy to get there. Sirius smiled again. He still couldn't believe that he would finally see [Y/N] again. It seemed like years had passed. Sirius dreamed of kissing his boyfriend's lips again. He kissed the letter once more and threw it into the fire. In a few days he would see [Y/N] again.
Sirius was finally able to sleep peacefully that night.
•
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Sirius wishes he had brought a scarf. The wind was strong and freezing in the streets of Muggle London. Sirius was trying to hide his nose in the collar of his jacket. With his hands in his pockets. Trying to rescue some heat from the cold material of his leather jacket. It wasn't the best clothing option. He knew it now. But he couldn't help it, he was a braggart and wanted to look good for his boyfriend. Even if it meant dying of hypothermia.
When he arrived at the meeting point [Y/N] had not yet arrived, so he stayed there. They hadn't agreed on any particular place, so he sat in one of the chairs in the park. Sirius assumed it would be a brief encounter so he decided to enjoy his boyfriend as much as possible. Because surely he wouldn't see him again for a long time after that. Sirius would have liked to have a nice dinner that ended in a hotel room. But it wasn't the best time for that. So he settled for at least kissing him.
Sirius undid his ponytail, trying to cover his neck from the cold winter wind. He leaned back in the seat, his long black hair moved with the wind. Sirius closed his eyes and took a moment to think. Everything that had been happening lately in the wizarding world was crazy. The war had brought sadness and fear to people. Things were no longer the same. Sirius couldn't remember the last time he had laughed out loud with his friends. He couldn't remember the last time he had a butterbeer. For god's sake, he couldn't even remember the last time he had sex with his boyfriend. The war had made his life, and the lives of everyone, sad and boring. This is the world Death Eaters want to live in...? He couldn't help but wonder.
“Sirius?” Before Sirius could continue to mope himself down, he heard his boyfriend's voice calling his name. A smile automatically appeared on his face and he stood up from his seat, wrapping his arms around his boyfriend.
“[Y/N]!” He said, smiling “Damnit, I've missed you so much” he chuckled softly, holding [Y/N] close to his chest. Not wanting to let go. [Y/N] hugged him back with the same intensity. After a few seconds Sirius pulled away and took his boyfriend's cheeks in his hands, kissing him. Sirius had been looking forward to doing that for almost two months now. He couldn't put it off one more second. [Y/N] received the kiss happily, returning it as he wrapped his arms around Sirius' waist. Tasting Sirius' lips on his. Perceiving a slight strawberry flavor. He couldn't help but smile a little, Sirius had put on some gloss for him.
Sirius would have continued kissing him for the rest of the day, but they couldn't talk and kiss at the same time, so he pulled away. With a silly smile on his face. He looked like a teenager in love. His cheeks had a slight blush.
“It's been a long time since I last saw you” [Y/N] spoke first, taking Sirius' hand in his.
“Too long,” Sirius said, still with that goofy smile on his face. It seemed like they were back to the beginning of their relationship. “How have you been, love?” Sirius spoke again, this time with a more serious and concerned tone in his voice.
[Y/N] sighed “I've been… fine. I can't complain. Luckily no one has laid eyes on me” he said. Sirius cupped one of his cheeks in his hand, a worried expression on his face.
“You must be terrified… have you been in any major danger recently? I mean, have they been targeting muggleborns?” Sirius felt a little dumb for asking that question, but he had to. He wanted to have full knowledge of everything.
[Y/N] nodded “Yes, love… They have been very active. Every day I get news of missing people” Sirius could feel [Y/N]'s anxiety through his grip, he caressed his hand to reassure him.
“You have to take all the precautions you can, my love… you must be safe” Sirius said tenderly.
“I know, I know… I'm being careful. Since they tried to attack my owl I haven't sent any letters... I've also been moving places every two weeks, I have some muggle friends who have been supporting me. I think I'm doing well” Sirius can't help but smile at that. [Y/N] was being very careful and responsible with his safety and that made him happy.
“I'm so proud of how careful you have been, love” He pressed his hand, intertwined with [Y/N]'s, on his chest. “I'm glad you have people supporting you... Are they trustworthy, love?” Sirius asked softly, [Y/N] nodded.
“Yes, yes they are. They are muggle friends, and some wizards. They have been a great help. I fully trust them” Sirius nodded.
“Good, good..” They both look into each other's eyes for a moment. [Y/N] had a dismayed look. Sirius couldn't help but feel sorry for him. “It's okay, my love” Sirius said softly, trying to comfort him. He leaned down and placed a small, soft kiss on his forehead. [Y/N] sighed.
“It's been a hard month for me, Sirius… I'm exhausted. Every day is an uncertainty.” Sirius took notice of his boyfriend's appearance, noticing the dark circles under his eyes. Sirius felt a small pain in his chest. It hurt him that his boyfriend had to go through all that.
“I know, my love, I know…” One of Sirius' hands went up to [Y/N]'s cheek, caressing it with his thumb. “But we have to keep being strong, you're doing very well. I'm so proud of you” He smiled softly at him. But worry remained in his soft blue-gray eyes. [Y/N] returned a weak smile and nodded gently. There was a small silence between them until [Y/N] spoke again. “I've heard rumors that Dumbledore is building an army… Do you know anything about that, love? Are you involved?” He asked curiously.
Sirius was a little taken aback when he heard the question. It was supposed to be a secret, how had it leaked so quickly? Anyway, he smiled nervously at [Y/N]. As if he had been caught in the middle of a prank. “Well, you know Dumbledore, he has always liked my rebellious nature” He said and chuckled nervously. [Y/N] chuckled along with him. Sirius was adorable. “Yes, my love, I'm involved” He said in a more serious tone this time. But his smile remained on his face. “I wanted to fight to protect you and others like you.. As long as I can fight for the things I believe in, I'll be there... So, yes, I am involved.”
[Y/N]'s lips curved into a smile, his eyes full of love for the man in front of him. He took both of Sirius' hands “Thank you, love… for fighting for me.”
Sirius held [Y/N]'s gaze, seeing the love in his eyes as he looked at him, he couldn't help but blush and smile nervously.
“No need to thank me, my love” He said, the soft red on his cheeks making him look even cuter under the snow. “I'll always be here to protect you and fight for what's right.. I do it because I love you, [Y/N]. You're my love and I can't imagine a life without you.” [Y/N]'s smile grew even bigger (if that was possible) at those words. He brought Sirius' hands to his lips, kissing them.
“I love you so much, Sirius… thank you, my love… you're wonderful.”
Sirius smiled and shook his head, looking at the ground. Blushing even more. “I'm far from wonderful, my love. But you know this better than anyone.” He looked [Y/N] in the eyes. Sirius was sure that the man in front of him was the love of his life. A warm feeling flooded his chest and he couldn't help but say: “I love you. I love you very, very much. I'm just grateful that this war allowed me to realize how much you mean to me. And I don't regret this decision. I was meant to fight for you and protect you and I would do it a thousand times again.”
[Y/N] stared at him, speechless. Suddenly, all the emotions he had been repressing that month came to the surface. And without making a sound, tears begin to fall from his eyes. “...Thanks” That's all he managed to say.
“Sweetheart…” Sirius said, somewhat surprised by the reaction and quickly wrapped [Y/N] in his arms. Letting him cry on him. [Y/N] quickly followed suit, hugging him tightly, crying quietly into his shoulder.
“I'm sorry” He muttered “It's just that… I'm scared, Sirius” He confessed in a weak voice. “Every day they torture people... I'm afraid that... The next person to disappear will be me.” He clinged to Sirius, trying, somehow, to feel him as close as possible. Seeking safety in his arms.
Sirius felt his heart break as he listened to his boyfriend cry. He had never seen him cry like that before. It was a part of [Y/N] that he didn't know. The vulnerability of him. Or at least not to that level. [Y/N] sounded completely sad, and Sirius felt weak from his crying. He hugged him tightly, trying to think of what to say or do to comfort him. But [Y/N]'s sadness was contagious and a feeling of anxiety began to invade Sirius too.
The fear of losing him overcame him. Still, he tried to maintain his composure. “Don't... don't say that, my love. The next one to disappear” He stuttered nervously “The next one to disappear will not be you. I won't let it happen. Not to me, not to you. Okay? You'll be safe... I promise.” He said and placed a kiss on his hairline.
[Y/N] pulled away. A little embarrassed for having started crying out of nowhere. He was just overwhelmed. He quickly wiped the tears from his cheeks and tried to catch his breath. “Okay…” He nodded “...I'm fine” He was trying to convince Sirius by saying that, but he didn't seem to succeed. Sirius still had that worried look on his face. “It's just… it's hard to keep hope... Every day Vold… He becomes more powerful... Every day more people join him, every day more people like me disappear... It terrifies me to think that the worst is yet to come... What will I do if... If he wins? If he takes control?... I don't want to think about it.” Sirius held him close, feeling the same fear and anxiety. Sirius tried to reassure him but it was difficult when he also felt the same uncertainty.
“I know it's hard, love, but let's try to stay positive, okay? It's the best we can do” Sirius said softly. His arms were still around [Y/N]'s body, as if he didn't want to let go completely. His hands gently caressed him, trying to make him feel better.
[Y/N] nodded softly. “Yeah, I guess I can only hope for the best… I hope what you're working on turns out, love, I trust you” [Y/N] looked up, looking Sirius in the eyes and giving him a small smile “I'm hopeful” He added. Sirius smiled along with him. Knowing that his boyfriend had so much trust in him filled Sirius with a warm feeling that only [Y/N] could give him.
“I won't let you down [Y/N], I'll always fight for you, for the future we could have together, and I think... no, I know we're going to succeed… All this will pass, love, I promise” Sirius smiled softly. His eyes were full of tenderness. Sirius loved [Y/N] like he had never loved anyone. And he knew he would do anything for the man in front of him.
[Y/N] smiled, he couldn't help but feel calm. Sirius had always had that effect on him. He just made him feel safe. And [Y/N] loved that, he loved Sirius. He loved how Sirius made him feel. “I'm glad there are still people who support us... I'm glad there are wizards... pureblood wizards, who support us.” Sirius took his hand and squeezed it. Trying to say non-verbally that he supported him unconditionally. After all, he knew that [Y/N] meant him as 'pureblood wizards'.
“Of course I support you, love, I'm doing this for you, for you and others like you… This is a noble cause, I know that if we all unite against Voldemort we can stop him” Sirius looked at his boyfriend, trying to see his reaction. Hoping that his words had brought him some comfort. But that didn't seem to be the case, [Y/N] had an expression of surprise and fear on his face. “...Love?” Sirius asked, confused. [Y/N]'s reaction was out of character. He didn't understand if maybe he had said something wrong.
“...don't say his name” [Y/N] said almost in a whisper, as if he was afraid of being heard. Sirius was stunned. He had forgotten it, he had forgotten the taboo of the name. Suddenly Sirius started to feel embarrassed, like he had screwed up.
“I'm.. I'm sorry, love” He quickly apologized “I didn't do it on purpose, really, forgive me.”
[Y/N] shook his head softly “No, love, it's okay, I know you didn't do it on purpose” He smiled slightly, embarrassed. “I know it's a stupid thing... the taboo... But, you know, I can't risk it.” He said, looking for some understanding. [Y/N] knew that, although he loved Sirius with all his being, Sirius was a pureblood wizard, and he had never experienced the discrimination that he had. And much less the persecution he had been experiencing in the recent months. [Y/N] was feeling a little stupid and paranoid. He thought he knew better than to fear the stupid name. But, to his surprise, he found himself afraid to even hear it from someone else. The fear was too real, the missing people were too many. [Y/N] couldn't help but feel afraid.
Sirius shook his head “It isn't stupid, love… And I get it, right now everything is... chaotic, so it's best to take all possible precautions.” Sirius looked at his boyfriend “Your life is important, [Y/N], don't be ashamed to look after it as if it were a treasure” Sirius said and smiled softly at his boyfriend. Every word Sirius said came from the depths of his heart and affection. Sirius loved [Y/N], like he had never loved anyone or anything before. He would do anything to keep the boy he had fallen in love with safe. But he couldn't do it, at least not directly. So [Y/N]'s safety depended entirely on [Y/N] himself.
[Y/N] smiled “God, what have I done to deserve you?” [Y/N] said and Sirius chuckled a little embarrassed. Sirius could be a shameless flirt but when it came to [Y/N] he was a teddy bear. And Sirius liked that. [Y/N] knew a part of him that not everyone knew. Sirius had learned to pretend to be braver than he was (or he thought he was) in life. And that had made him hide his vulnerability behind a cocky smile. But with [Y/N]... with [Y/N] he could be everything he couldn't be with anyone else.
“You make me very happy, [Y/N]” He couldn't help but confess “You just… you make me very happy." He repeated, not knowing what else to say. The words seemed too simple to convey all the complex feelings he felt inside. But for now he'd settle for that.
[Y/N] smiled tenderly and hugged him. Sirius hugged him back, wrapping his arms around his lover's body and hiding his nose between his shoulder and neck. Sirius loved him, Sirius loved him so much. He felt the heat of [Y/N]'s body on his. He felt his lover's arms surrounding him. He felt [Y/N]'s heartbeat against his body and he felt overwhelmed. Overwhelmed with [Y/N], overwhelmed with love. In the most beautiful and painful way possible. Sirius was sad. How could he not be? Fear had become a part of his life since the war had started. Sirius was afraid of losing him, of losing the love of his life. Of losing [Y/N]. The fear followed him everywhere. At every moment. It was a nightmare. A very realistic nightmare that left Sirius unwilling to sleep. [Y/N] hugged him tightly, needing to feel Sirius against him, to feel his body against his. To make sure that he was there, with him, and that he was safe in his arms.
[Y/N] felt a small pang in his heart when he felt Sirius begin to cry against his shoulder. He held him in his arms, letting Sirius hold him in his. Sirius didn't usually cry, or at least he didn't usually show it. But at that moment they were both afraid, and the only thing they had was each other. War brought out the worst in people. War takes everything that mades people live and puts it on a tightrope, torturing them with the uncertainty that, perhaps, all of that would disappear forever. That's what Sirius felt. Maybe his life wasn't as in danger as [Y/N]'s, since he was a pureblood, but [Y/N] was like the air in his lungs. If he wasn't there Sirius was incomplete. Empty. Sirius had become so used to the happiness [Y/N] gave him that it had become his everything. And without it he was nothing. Sirius didn't want that, Sirius didn't want to be empty. Sirius hated sadness, he hated loneliness. He was afraid of loneliness. Sirius would rather die a thousand times than live a single life without [Y/N].
“Sirius…” [Y/N] spoke softly, with sadness in his voice. He desperately wanted to comfort Sirius but he didn't know what to say. “Sirius don't–”
“I don't want you to leave.”
[Y/N] felt warmth and pain in his chest at the same time. He wanted to stay with Sirius, he would do anything to stay with Sirius. But he couldn't. It would be an unnecessary risk. An unnecessary risk for Sirius. [Y/N] was not only in danger, he was also a danger to others. The muggleborn hunting was not limited to just muggleborns. Those people who hid and sheltered muggleborns were also persecuted. And [Y/N] would never forgive himself if something happened to Sirius because of him. Because the only thing that was more important than his own safety was Sirius' safety. It breaks [Y/N]'s heart to have to reject his boyfriend in that state, but he had to do it.
“Sirius, you know I can't–”
“No, listen to me” Of course, [Y/N] was naïve if he thought Sirius was going to give up so easily. “Listen... if you stay with me at the Order base... they can protect you, the Order can keep you safe, I can keep you safe, you can stay there with me” Sirius said almost desperately.
“Sirius no.”
“[Y/N] please.”
“No Sirius, it's unnecessary…” He said softly, trying to make Sirius understand “I'm fine by myself, I don't need to be a burden to what you are working on… And besides, it's not safe for you either.”
“No, [Y/N], you don't…” He sighed, he had to let it out. The words were stuck in his throat “Listen, I... I can't lose you, okay? I can't lose you, I can't… I won't” He trembled at the uncertainty. “A-And I can't stay here doing nothing, not knowing where you are or not even knowing if you're still alive… I can't, okay? I can't live like that, I can't sleep, I can't eat, I can't do anything… Just let me protect you, [Y/N], please” [Y/N] looked at him for a moment, then shook his head without saying anything. Sirius sighed in frustration. “Oh for god's sake [Y/N], just let me do this for you.” He said irritated “Damnit, can't you see I'm doing this for you? Don't you see I don't want you to die? What?, you have a death wish or something?” Sirius couldn't help but be a little harsh, he was frustrated.
“Sirius…” [Y/N] looked at him sadly, he didn't want to do this. Sirius was too stubborn for his own good. Things were already difficult and painful enough, why did he have to make it even more difficult? “Just stop it.”
“God [Y/N] please” He said almost like a plea, he didn't know what else to do or say to convince him. “Don't do this to me, not now” Sirius sounded hurt, he looked like a little boy crying.
“...I'm sorry” [Y/N] said and Sirius sighed in defeat. “I'm going to be okay, love, really.” He said, trying to comfort him, “I've taken care of myself all this time and I'll continue to do so… I'll be fine Sirius.” Sirius looked at him. He knew that if there was a person in the world more stubborn than him, that person was [Y/N]. He had already given his last word, and Sirius knew it was impossible to change his mind. He sighed.
“...you promise?”
“I promise.”
[Y/N] said and Sirius nodded softly. A part of him wanted to keep fighting and not give up, but he knew it was in vain. He hugged [Y/N] again, this time more gently. He was saying goodbye.
“...When can I see you again?”
“I'm not sure, love.”
Sirius sighed “Will you at least send me letters?”
“I'll try.”
Sirius nodded although none of [Y/N]'s answers comforted him. “...take care of yourself... God, please take care of yourself.”
“I will, Sirius.” He gently caressed his back.
Sirius continued to hold him for a few more minutes and then let him go. Sirius was defeated and sad, his blue-gray eyes still had traces of tears in them. “You have to go now?” He asked quietly. A part of him still hoped that [Y/N] will change his mind. But [Y/N] just nodded.
“Yes, I have to go,” He said softly. Sirius didn't say anything, just accepting it.
“...will you give me one last kiss?”
[Y/N] smiled “Of course my love.”
[Y/N] kissed him like they had done thousands of times before. But this time it felt different. Sirius kissed him as if it were the last time, and [Y/N] noticed. But he didn't say anything. He let Sirius kiss him because in the back of his mind he also feared that it might be the last time. Sirius' kisses were always amazing. He and Sirius had the ability to speak to each other without words, and kissing was one of those ways. [Y/N] surrendered himself completely to Sirius' lips and Sirius cherished every part of him almost possessively. They both gave themselves to each other completely. And for a moment the war took a backseat. Lost in their world, lost in the other
“...be careful, [Y/N]” he whispered against his lips.
“I will,” He whispered back.
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Okay, this ended up being way longer than I had planned. I'll leave it here for now. I will do a second part, even a third if necessary. But I hope I can finish it in less than three parts. I hope you enjoyed it!
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THE AARON WARNER X READER FIC OMLLLLLLLL I NEED PT. 2 PLEASEEE
aaron warner x ferrars!reader pt. 2
aaron warner continues to make way into your life, and it's only a matter of time before you grow fond of him too.
(taken place during unravel me)
continuation of the hcs from this piece!
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a/n: hey y'all.... the long awaited pt 2 is finally here. so sorry for the wait, but i had some major writer's block with this at first, and tbh life has been a lil hectic rn with classes n stuff, so thank you for all the love and support on the first headcannons, and thank you for being patient with me! i truly cant express enough how happy i get when you guys compliment my work <3 as usual, hayden is my personal fc, imagine who you like !
side note: i know reader might seem kind of useless at times even tho she has powers, but it's because she doesn't have a full control of her ability yet, still learning how far it goes, and she doesn't have much practice on defensive uses of it, since a lot of her training is about learning about her powers. hope that makes sense LOL. some big events are going to be briefed over bc i didnt wanna bore y’all with stuff you alr read in the book and wanna focus on warner & reader interactions👍
word count: 8.2k
warnings: some plot changes, vague taylor swift reference, mentions of injuries and blood, some violence
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after receiving the note, you immediately crumped it and stuffed it into a random drawer with your clothing. you hadn't told a soul about the message, you feared it would only make the implication of meeting warner again true.
thinking about the note was a pipeline to thinking about aaron warner. thinking about him meant flashing back to the last moment the two of you shared.
his lips on yours, his confessions of his infatuation, and of course, the way your shot him in the chest. you hated how the memory was brung a warm and unfamiliar feeling in your chest, especially thinking back to the kiss.
you told yourself it wasn't a big deal. maybe another member at the base decided to play a prank on you, or perhaps it was just an empty threat. there was no way warner knew your location, so there's no need to tell anyone about the silly note.
but to be extra cautious, you laid off going on missions to the outside for a little bit. plus, it forced juliette to interact with people that weren't you on missions when you weren't there.
you went along with your routine as usual, training with castle and kenji, and hanging out with juliette and adam.
you didn't hate castle by any means, but you find his underlying scrutinization of both you and your sister at times to be bothersome. his constant pushy treatment to juliette never sat right with you either, but since he was the leader of omega point - you knew you had to still show respect for him.
although, you started to notice a strain between the couple recently, mostly from adam's side. there was obviously something he was keeping from juliette.
you comforted your sister to the best of your ability, but you knew not knowing was starting to affect her. kenji also seemed to know whatever this secret was, but was adamant on keeping his lips shut.
however, once castle took adam away in the middle of you guys eating lunch, juliette demanded answers since it was obvious adam himself was struggling to reveal it himself.
this time kenji was helpful and guided you and juliette to the research labs. there you both saw castle engaging adam in some sort of tests, and it sent your sister into a fit of rage, mainly aimed at castle. which then resulted in her angrily punch the ground, causing for a large earthquake that shook the entire establishment.
juliette was passed out for three days before waking up. you worried for her endlessly during those days, it was the one of the only times you intentionally listened for her thoughts, to ensure she was alright, but it was scarily silent. you knew adam also was quite worried for juliette, but castle made sure he kept his distance.
after that, her and adam were on some sort of unofficial break up, and you knew better than to get involved. juliette was also now required to join you and kenji in training, which made for a chaotic, but fun trio.
your powers were getting easier to control, you were working on levitating heavier objects every time. you've practiced mental manipulation on insects and small animals, so you had a gist of to what extent you could control a mind. the most you've done so far was send simple commands like jump, sit, move, etc. kenji always offered to be a test subject for this, but you always declined, not liking the thought of possibly controlling the mind of your friend.
now that you could control when to apprehend thoughts, it made it much easier to make friends without disrespecting people's privacy. while sara and sonya were always kind to you, others had made it sort of clear they wanted to keep their distance to prevent their mind from being read by you. being able to now reassure others that their thoughts weren't being heard made it easier for people to approach you.
much like juliette you found new friends in brendan, with an electric ability, and winston, who had a stretchy ability and also designed the suits for both ferrars.
days at omega point were serene for a bit, everyone following routine and members continuing to patrol areas for any threats of the reestablishment. but it was surely disrupted with the arrival of threatening news.
it was in the middle of the night when you were dragged away from your bed by kenji to castle's office; juliette and adam following suite. he claimed it was an urgent matter that required the presence of the four of you.
there, castle revealed the return of the supreme commander, also known as warner's father - that was big news to you and juliette. it explains how warner was able to be out with his men in the sector so often.
however, news worsened when you found out brendan and winston along with emory and ian were taken by the reestablishment during their patrol. at their missing location was left a note, with specific instructions on how to proceed.
you were shaken by this discovery, it had been only less than 24 hours since you had last spoken with either of them, both you and juliette had had breakfast with brendan and winston.
that wasn't even the end of if, castle instructed that all four of you were to go to this meeting destination.
all of you were taken aback by this, you had initially assumed castle would be the one to see the supreme, since has is the leader and all.
adam and kenji were at the head of the protest against this plan, not wanting to easily comply . both you and juliette remained silent, still taking in all the information given.
you without a doubt were ready to head in for the safety of your friends, but you also didn't like the unpredictability of the situation you all could possibly wander into with the commander.
"the two of you may opt out as you like, but i am requesting the aid of both ferrars, seeing as they are the ones very explicitly instructed to see the supreme - a sort of exchange, them for the hostages. "
again, everyone in the room was stunned with confusion. all having the same question, why would he need both sisters there?
you didn't know the room could've possibly erupted into more chaos than right now. adam was now furious, kenji not too far behind with questions of his own.
you couldn't help but think back to the note you found in your pocket, "see you soon." is this what he had meant? had he known this would occur that long ago?
again, you shook the thought from your mind. aaron warner wasn't the one who sent the order, it was the supreme, so it's possible warner will not even be at the location the four of you are suppose to go to.
no need to think about warner, you told yourself. no need to remember how he kissed you with ferocious passionate intent.
with this newfound knowledge, you knew you couldn't back away from this, not when there were lives at stake, and you didn't have to be familiar with the supreme to know he would not hesitate to take the lives of omega point members.
you looked toward juliette to inquire her thoughts about the situation. you understood from the look on her face that she had a similar plan of action to you. a telepathic (without actually reading her mind this time) message was communicated between both of you, making a mutual agreement.
"we'll do it." you announced over the arguing.
castle was pleased with this decision, but immediately adam objected, and even kenji was hesitant for you both to go through with the plan. however, stubborn as ever, both of you committed to your decision.
preparing for the meeting with warner's father was nerve-racking, worried for the safety of your team, and also the hostages. you and everyone knew this had to be some sort of trap set up by the commander, but there wasn't much you could do besides arm yourself and comply.
the four of you were gathered in castle's office. castle made sure all four of you were equipped with necessary gear for the mission, including having weapons with you.
you attire was the same as usual, a red leather corset-styled top, a matching leather coat-like jacket, black pants in a stretchy material, accompanied with black fingerless gloves and black knee-high boots - except now you had the addition of a harness and holsters up your leg to hold any firearms given to you. the coat did well in concealing a lot of the guns.
luckily, you had a good amount of practice with a gun since the warner incident. you were no james bond, as a man kenji liked to reference, but you had enough skill to defend yourself and others in the face of danger.
"why does warner's father need both sisters?" kenji humorously asked castle, "can't we at least keep one of them, one for the reestablishment and one for omega point."
you scoffed with a grin, entertaining the joke. "i'm sorry, who exactly are you willing to sacrifice to the reestablishment kenji?"
"well, with that attitude i'm starting to lean towards you."
castle goes through the plan once more before having to leave with the rest of omega point. they had to be stationed around building near the meeting point before the four of you arrived.
the time finally arrived for all of you to begin the journey to meeting the commander. since you all were traveling on foot, adam and kenji leading the way, you needed to leave at least an hour before the designated time.
adam was able to successfully turn off his protective shield for kenji to make all of you invisible. it made the journey easier; being able to wander through the land unseen.
after kenji misguided you to the wrong house, you all rushed to get to the correct address, 1542 sycamore. with 50 seconds of time, you all arrived.
juliette made the quick decision to tell kenji and adam to stay hidden, that it was better if warner's dad thought we were alone. in the case of an emergency, they could jump in.
kenji and adam gave a few last words of reassurance, before turning back invisible. then, you and juliette stood in front of the door of meeting house, holding hands before entering the house.
warner's dad did the job of opening the door for you both, inviting you inside even though it was more a of demand, and commenting on your impeccable timing.
once inside, you got a good look at the man. you shouldn't be shocked he was also quite handsome since he is warner's father, but you were still thrown back by his unexpected attractiveness.
unfortunately, you didn't take him his appearance for long before he abruptly & forcefully pushed juliette head against the wall behind her, momentarily knocking her out.
you didn't even get to process the action before you were pushed roughly against the wall, the commanders right forearm holding you down by the throat, while his left hand was disarming you.
almost as if acted on instinct, you pushed him back with a scarlet force, sending him back first onto a nearby table.
you took a second to get react, unsure of what happened, before rushing over to your sister. juliette didn't seem to be bleeding, luckily, but you figured she might have a concussion. much to your surprise, she sat up straighter attempting to act unfazed.
you were roughly yanked away by your wrist and away from juliette. you attempted a second self-defense act, but the commander was first and pulled out his gun, pointing it to your sister.
"try anything else, and i'll shoot her before you could blink."
your silence was a sign of defeat. you stood still as he unarmed you, even taking off your coat for good measure.
he released you finally then went on to do the same to juliette, who was still recovering from the slight blackout she faced from the collision with the wall - he repeated the threat to her, gun pointing in your direction this time.
you swore if you made it out of here alive you were going to learn more defensive uses of your powers to never be in a position like this again.
juliette must've been refocused on the task at hand because she starting asking the commander for the location of the hostages.
you stomach dropped when he disclosed his army is equipped and ready to take down any omega point members who are lingering by.
he went on to elaborate his plan to eliminate the "freaks" that made up the rebellion. but what got your heart beating faster was the mention of warner.
he directs his talk to you, "i admit, your sister, juliette, had piqued my interest quite a bit with her ability and history, i'd never paid much more than a glance in your direction. but what really astounded me, was when my son begged me to spare your life." he smiles, in a terrifying manor, "i just had to meet this girl whose bewitched him and spelled him into such a lovesick fool."
you felt physically stuck to your place as you listened. you didn't have to look at juliette to know she was also frozen.
'did aaron really do that?'
he turns in your direction, "i have every intention to use you to teach my son a lesson, and that will just have to include your death much to your misfortune. i really do hate to waste a pretty face." you face pales at the mention of your death.
then he faces your sister, who had taken a sudden step in front of you, "but that doesn't mean the older ferrars has to suffer the same fate and couldn't prove to be useful to join me in the capitol."
"i'd rather jump off a very steep cliff, thanks."
you wanted to laugh at your sister's retort, but you couldn't help but worry that he'd kill her for her denial. you'd rather be the sole target of his persecution than drag your sister down into it as well.
you reminded yourself adam and kenji were still around, they would surely arrive in time before either of you could be dead. you hoped.
the commander, however, does laugh at your sister's rejection, "a stubborn one you are."
"son, would you come in here, please?"
your eyes widen, warner was here this whole time.
you and juliette glanced at the same time, both being shocked at his presence.
when he appears in the doorway, all the memories of the event in his room come back to haunt you.
his face was void of any emotion, but his stare directed intensely toward you.
there was no time for small talk, because warner's father handed him a gun, meant to kill you. he places it in aaron's hand and aiming it to your head, dishing out the command to 'clean up his mess.'
you wouldn't be surprised if he had intentions to shoot you, you quite literally had shot him the last time you'd seen each other.
juliette let out yells of protests, telling warner to put the gun down.
you were preparing ways to defend yourself, mainly involving levitating an object and throwing it at either person with murderous intent toward you. but you weren't sure how you could hide the movement of your hand, and red glow of your eyes, when the attention was all on you.
but you couldn't help solely stare back into aaron's emerald green eyes. you wondered if this would be your last sight before death.
no, you refused to succumb to death like this, you wouldn't give anderson the pleasure.
you stared back into the green eyes, daring him to take a shot. this could be really courageous or terribly stupid.
then in the next instant, the gun had a new target, his father.
his father didn't look too fazed, confident that his son wouldn't shoot him, even patronizing him for it.
you didn't wait to find out if he would go through with it because now that the attention shifted, you could execute your plan of action.
the supreme and warner were both knocked down by the large heavy table being thrown at them. granted, aaron wasn't your target, but it didn't hurt to knock him down in case he intended to shoot you.
juliette took the opportunity to get the firearms the commander has taken at the beginning, and use the gun to shoot him in the leg. both legs. multiple times.
you were about to reel her back, when kenji appeared out of thin air, literally, and held juliette back from further injuring anderson.
suddenly, you remembered warner was still in the room. you looked around to find him passed out on the ground, a syringe, you guessed kenji used, next to him.
kenji tossed you as roped and told you to bound his arms, so, you knelt down on the floor next to him, carefully shifting him to place the rope.
as you did this, you noticed his features closely, how different he seemed unconscious, at peace. it kind of made him more beautiful.
out of your better judgement, you reached out slowly to touch a lock of his blonde hair, soft.
you immediately pulled your hand away when you thought you felt a stir, but you looked back to his face and he was still unconscious.
maybe, if you had looked a little closer you'd notice the ghost of a small smirk on his lips.
"we're going to take this kid hostage."
you were brought to your current situation with that statement.
"wait, what!" kidnapping wasn't on your to-do list for the day.
however, the most shocking news to be said in this room, was when adam dropped the bomb that the supreme command, warner's father, was his dad - making warner his half brother.
in the midst of all this chaos, omega point had already set off the call to attack, and now were battling against the reestablishment.
there was no time to think about events because kenji was rushing everyone out the door to get back to the safe haven.
the four of you needed to a large distraction so castle could draw back before major disaster since anderson was down and you now had taken warner. juliette promptly stepped up with an idea and create a part two of her earth-shattering ability. - which it turned out working really well because you all were able to make contact with castle.
adam and kenji did the heavy lifting of carrying aaron's heavy body while you and juliette had the task of finding a tank for the four of you to head to omega point in.
once that was settled all of you clambered into the tank, kenji taking the wheel and adam acting as second in command - that left you and juliette in the back with warner.
who was currently to the left of you, slumped against the window side of his seat, and juliette being on your right.
you weren't thrilled to have him smushed next to you. not when you were close enough to smell his cologne and feel the outline of his muscles through his jacket.
a part of you thought he would maybe wake up somewhere during the ride, but his eyes remained close. you know because you were staring at him more than you'd like to admit.
you reminded yourself what he had put you and juliette through, the asylum, the imprisonment, and the tests. it was enough to reel you back in and continue your dislike for warner.
although he was asleep, the bumps on the travel to the underground base made for a lot of jolts of movement and in turn caused warner's body to tumble onto you.
his body was heavy, but somehow it was heavier whenever you had to push him back to his side. it was like a force was trying to keep him on there.
his head somehow always slumped into the hair on the crook of your neck, and at some point, you could've sworn you felt him breathe in through his nose, like a sniff. but you wrote it off as the movement of the vehicle.
you must've passed out at a point because when you opened your eyes, you were lying against warner's shoulder.
your face was a flush of scarlet when you realized your position, but luckily juliette was fast asleep, and the two men were occupied in the front, likely going over today's events. thank god.
not long after, you all arrived at the destination and made it out of the tank.
kenji helped pull you out of the tank, not before leaving a teasing comment.
“have a nice nap, did you?”
you ignored him, but your face went red in embarrassment. he would never let you live this down.
you took a rest for a whole day before interacting with anyone. you weren't sure if you could handle any other sudden revelation without rest, especially if it involved warner.
castle came to you and juliette to discuss further the plan with warner and such. and you were reminded of the fact adam and him were technically brothers, which was kept a secret between all four of you still.
then castle gave you both the most ridiculous task; to be in charge of the questioning and occasionally visiting the prisoner. his reasoning being you both were the most acquainted with warner, and he'd be more willing to comply with at least one of you.
you wanted to decline; you didn't understand why castle always sent everyone else to do work for him - but you knew your sister was happy to finally have a real assignment for omega point; she wanted to be useful.
so the following day, you began your "mission." you sisters went to where they were holding warner, a room much like where you and juliette slept, but the difference was it closely guarded, not letting the person inside leave.
you greeted the guards, and they had looked very relieved to see you there. apparently, warner has been less than pleasant as an inmate - throwing things and demanding to speak with you, and they informed him the two of you would be arriving to calm him down.
you stepped into the room and noticed the lack of furniture, probably because he was throwing, then you saw warner sitting on a mattress on the floor, indulging himself in some sort of journal that you didn't get to get a look at before he put it away.
he looks up at your arrival with a grin, "hello amor, a pleasure to see you again at last." he scanned your attire, "i have to say, this new look on you has you looking rather ravishing."
you rolled your eyes, fighting the butterflies because of his comment. "how you manage to be a prisoner and still keep that stupid charm goes beyond me."
"i did say i'd see you soon didn't i?"
juliette gave you a confused glance, you hadn't told her about the note, nor the kiss.
you ignored what he said, trying redirect the conversation. you glanced down at his chest, "nice to see you've healed from the shot, for a moment, i thought i'd killed you."
"takes a lot more to kill me i'm afraid, however, if it's by your hand i'm more than willing to greet death like an old friend."
before you could bite back, juliette interrupted your banter with a cough, meant to serve a reminder to you to stay on task.
"right, forgot you were here juliette, perhaps you'd like to step out so your sister and could properly reunite."
god, you hated his suaveness. you hated it even more when it worked in making your heartbeat pick up.
juliette took charge of the conversation and started asking questions relevant to the establishment, but warner would either change the subject or give vague answers.
you both decided to leave after growing tired of the lack of information. you ignored warner's pleas for the company and walked out.
the next day you both tried again, meeting in from of his room. juliette, however had decided a change of tactics.
"i think you should go in without me."
you turned to her confused. she explained he would likely be more cooperative with your presence alone, his actions from yesterday proving to be in support of that.
you denied it, even if part of you believed it. you weren't sure you were ready to be in a room alone with aaron.
nonetheless, juliette left you to your own devices and rushed off, probably to find adam or kenji, before you could protest further.
you cursed her, but prepared to enter the room in front of you.
aaron was lying down, resting an arm behind his head and using the other to throw and object up and down. once he noticed you he sat up in your direction.
he noticed the lack of presence of juliette, and you could tell he was more than pleased.
"finally, i was starting to think your sister would chaperone us forever."
"don't be so eager to be alone, i could shoot you again."
"and i'd willingly take another bullet if it meant another kiss."
you couldn't help the annoying pink tint on your face that came up with the mention of the kiss.
you changed topic, "how were you able to send me that note?"
he smirked, "well for one, i noticed you after our eyes met briefly during your first time outside in the sector. after that, it was blatantly obvious who you were; that disguise did nothing to hide your gorgeous face, unfortunately for you. and then it wasn't hard to order a civilian to drop the note in your pocket while you were distracted."
you were stunned; you really hadn't thought to think he recognized you. you thought you blended in pretty well on those missions.
"okay, stop distracting me, what are your father's plans."
"hmm, maybe if you ask nicely and give me a kiss - i'd be more willing to comply."
you left shortly after that, knowing you weren't going to get much out from him.
it continued like that for a few days; you'd walk in, try to get information, but then he'd turn it back into a way to flirt with you or bring up the kiss.
this time when you walked in, you saw him reading the journal from the first day, and you were able get a better look at it. it was yours.
"hey, what are you doing with my-"
"dear diary, today i checked out a book from the library, there was a rather intimate scene between the main charact-"
you immediately recognized the writing as your own and strided across the room to aaron to snatch your journal back.
warner was quicker, standing up in a snap, keeping a distance from you as read aloud more pages.
you yelled at him to stop, catching up to him, but now he held the book to the ceiling, making it harder for you to reach because of his tall body.
you, much to your embarrassment, jumped up and down to reach the journal, wanting this humiliation to end.
"aaron, just give it back!"
all of a sudden, aaron stopped his teasing and looked down to you, a lopsided smile on his face.
"you called me aaron."
you eyes opened in horror, you just called him aaron, not warner. and he heard it.
"no. no. i said warner, you misheard." it was a terrible attempt at lying.
he smiles even wider, his dimples prominent. he reaches a free hands to lift your chin.
"please, keep saying my name, i do love how it sounds coming from you."
you felt you were gonna explode from all the emotions you were feeling, the room was getting hotter, and your heart was pounding in your ears.
you couldn't get a solid sentence our without babbling in embarrassment. so you took the coward's way - bolting out the room, abandoning the mission to retrieve your journal.
you avoided visits a few times after that incident, you were still cringing at the flashbacks, it worsened when you also remembered he had the contents of your journal and all the embarrassing things and darkest secrets you'd written inside.
unfortunately, that didn't stop you from running into warner.
you were eating lunch with kenji, he was currently explaining some princess film you'd never seen.
"wait, so how did this girl even find out when her birthday was?"
"well, obviously, mother gothel told her."
"why didn't she just lie about her birthday, or not even tell her what a birthday is?"
"i don't know, i didn't make the script."
"also does the ending mean she has power still, or was it the last of her ma-"
"oh my god, can you shut up and just appreciate the greatness that is tangled!"
"hey! you're the on-"
"well, isn't this a surprise."
you turned to the new voice that entered the conversation. aaron warner stood in front of your table, hands behind his back, and castle behind him, likely guiding him somewhere.
then you remembered your last conversation with the leader and came to the conclusion aaron was on his way to be tested, probably like adam had.
castle remained unaware of the blood shared between the two, but you did let it slip you were unable to read your mind, and he was able to make skin contact with your sister.
"well if it isn't my favorite ex-boss." kenji spoke with a mouthful of food.
aaron ignored kenji, much to kenji's offense. "amor, here have you been these days, you left quite flushed after our intimate moment in my cell."
kenji spat out his food at that last bit.
you body was filled to the brim with utter embarrassment and hate toward the way he phrased his wording to make it seem what it wasn't.
you turned to kenji who was coughing continuously, "nothing even happened!" you gave warner a glare, "stop making it seem so.. so-"
"so what, amor? i'd love to know what you think i meant by intimate."
"you are so insufferable."
castle then dragged warner along to the testing area. you couldn't deny you weren't curious to find out if he shared a gift similar to adam.
you were planning to engage with warner the next day, but his guards had come up to you during your training session demanding your presence because apparently warner was in a fit of rage.
worried, you rushed over. entering the room, warner was sitting against the wall, face in his hands. the room was in disarray, broken items of what was already so little, scattered all over the room. even his floor mattress had been tossed.
he barely acknowledged you, so you took it upon yourself to kneel down in from of him, silently asking what happened.
"castle..he told me it's possible i have an... ability. he told me i could change," he laughs humorlessly, "that there was potential for me to be.. different... possibly better."
you stayed silent, unsure of how to respond, as he bitterly ranted about his talk with castle.
"what do you think?”
“what?”
“do you believe i can change? i’d love to know what your opinion is on this, amor.”
you weren’t sure how to respond. “i believe… everyone can choose what they want to be. it’s up to them to decide, even if everyone tell tried to tell you who you are.”
this time, he was the one silent, looking down at his lap, likely in thought.
you took the chance to take in his attire; some black sweatpants, grey socks, and no shirt.
you probably would’ve been flustered to see him shirtless if you didn’t notice some peculiar marks peaking from his shoulder.
silently, you slowly crept to the side of aaron, still distracted. you slide far enough to get a good few of his back.
you internally gasped. his back was littered with lines of scarring - likely whipped. your stomach churned at the thought.
you also notice a big tattoo in the upper middle of his back, in all caps ‘IGNITE’.
you must’ve said it out loud because aaron’s head whipped in your direction. he turned his back away from you once he noticed where your stare was directed.
“no need to say anything, i already know how hideous it looks.”
unsure how to respond, you blurt the first thing out of your head - “i think they look cool. kind of like an abstract piece of art.”
yeah, comforting people wasn’t your forte.
luckily, aaron seemed intrigued by your statement. so you took the chance to request something further.
“can i touch your, erm, back?”
aaron was hesitant for a few moments, but then sighed and turns his back toward you.
you delicately pressed your fingers along the canvas of his back. you could feel every ridge and texture of each scar as your fingers glided over.
aaron flinched at first content, then progressively & visibly melted into your touch.
“why ‘ignite’?”
“why not?” you really hated his vagueness.
an idea popped into your head. you pulled a pen out of your jacket pocket, testing it on your own skin a few times before you started drawing lines on aaron’s skin.
“amor, what are you doing?”
“hang on.” he could feel the ink of the pen etched on his back.
“you know, my original plan was to seduce you with my perfect abs, but i guess luring you with my scars works as well.”
“shut up.” but you were smiling while saying it.
you finished connecting a few lines, “there, perfect.”
"i think you've forgotten i dont have the neck of a giraffe to twist around."
"oh, my bad." you said sheepishly. "do you have a mirror?"
"i did, then i broke it. pieces should be in a corner somewhere."
you mentally scolded his carelessness.
you managed to find a piece big enough for him to see your creation upon his skin.
"i drew a star." you wanted to facepalm at how silly it sounded.
star was a bit of a stretch, you connected lines scarred on his bank to form a lopsided and wonky-shaped star.
he just stared at it, not uttering a word. you moved to try to wipe off the mark, but he grabbed your wrist before you could.
"no," he grins, "i adore it. do more of them."
you did. it was a whole galaxy of stars embedded on him.
he stayed mute as he watched you through the shard of mirror while you doodled, but suddenly he spoke and gave you details as to what his knew of his father's plans and the location of brendon & winston.
"why are you suddenly telling me this, why now?"
"it's what your here for, isn't it."
you rushed over to castle immediately and repeated everything aaron told you. he thanked you for the information before he called in others to draw up a plot of attack. you all were to leave immediately the next day.
castle called a meeting in the lunch hall a few hours later; everyone at omega point was gathered there.
he briefed them on the commander's plans or what the plan was supposed to be so far. of course, people were suspicious of this information coming from warner, not trusting him at all; not that you could blame them.
"he's immune to both of the ferrars abilities, he can touch juliette with no issue and y/n can't get into his head. after this reveal, we did some test, and we've come to find out he's gifted like the rest of us."
the room exploded in chaos, gasps, yells, and protests coming from all different directions. a lot of ongoing looks toward your table. castle raised his voice to calm everyone down.
you and juliette didn't stick around long after, for one you already knew the information being given , and two, the stares and questions were getting annoying and uncomfortable.
however, adam shortly followed the two of you out, desperate to speak to juliette, and you knew why - warner being able to touch her.
they began talking intensely as if you weren't there. you watched from the sidelines as juliette explained her side and adam getting more frustrated.
you butted in at a point, you felt bad for the guy, but your sister came first. “adam, maybe it's best you leave to cool down.”
but your voice of reason only irritated him. “how about you stop inserting yourself into your sister’s affairs and let her speak for herself.”
"what is your issue?"
"this is between juliette and i; she doesn't need you speaking for her."
"you hypocrite, that's what you're doing right now!"
"why don't you go fraternize with warner, that's all you seem to be doing these days." adam venomously spat at you.
as if the mention of his name made him appear, warner's presence made it known. he stepped in front of you, dividing you and adam who got closer as the argument headed.
"kent, you've really got an attribute for being infuriating and vexing."
that set off the fire for an intense standoff between the two. adam, already mad at aaron, started the verbal feud.
it got so heated, kenji inserted himself between the two - trying to stop the commotion. you even grabbed aaron's arm to pull him away.
it was all happening so quick; one moment, they were shooting insults back and forth, the next instant kenji was dropping to the floor clutching his head in pain.
juliette immediately called out for help, finding castle, who brought in sonya and sara to take kenji to the medic.
adam and juliette went trailing after them, but you stayed there stunned. what did you do?
you had a flashback to the experiment - kenji reacting, in the same manner, those soldiers had after you freaked out.
you felt extremely horrible for kenji and you prayed he would be alright.
but you hadn't intended to hurt kenji nor did you exert any force in using your powers. you had better practice with your energy, so it didn't make sense.
aaron, still beside you, reached out to you - but you instinctively took a step back. you weren't sure what was happening to you, and the last thing you wanted was to hurt someone else accidentally.
"probably better you stay back," you looked down at your hands in fright, "i don't have control right now, i'm don't even understand how i did that to kenji."
"because amor, you didn't injure him. i did."
your confusion only deepened with that. then he brought back the mention of his gift, and you put the puzzle pieces together as he spoke.
"so you can basically can absorb someone else's power and use it?"
"a little more complicated than that. i can sense people's energy, like right now i know you're confused and worried for your friend, but also scared of yourself for what you did, or thought you did."
he elaborated, saying he unintentionally manifested your energy when you touched him. when kenji grabbed his arm, in an attempt to pull him away, that was when he projected the energy on him and hurting him in the process.
"wait, so does that mean you have my ability to read minds too?"
"hmm, i haven't given it a chance," he smirks at you "would you like to be my test subject?"
"absolutely not."
later that night, you check with sara and sonya on kenji's condition. they informed you that he was alright, but just needed some rest. after, you met up with castle in his office, finalizing plans for the morning - the beginning of the battle.
before you said goodbye, you had a question that had been crossing your mind.
"why do you trust ar-, er, warner, what's to say he won't turn his back."
"well, i guess i can't say for sure that he won't. i just have to have faith in mr. warner that he will make the right decision for himself. and with your added presence, i'm sure he's more open to that than ever."
"what do you mean?"
"surely you realize he's in love with you. he's even told me himself."
"he..he told you he was in love with me?"
"yes, just after i was discussing his gift with him." he said it like it was the most casual thing.
you stayed to chat briefly after. you directly headed to aaron's room, no longer littered with guards since he was considered a "member." you were able to walk in with no issue.
aaron hadn't been asleep yet when you got there, he was sitting up on his bed, which had a frame now, reading a book.
you didn't give him a chance to react to your sudden intrusion before you started speaking.
"why would you tell castle you're in love with me"
he furrowed his brows, but you kept going - you were set on getting answers.
"how could you just.. say something like that, what is your motive? are you trying to get to me?"
"amor, calm down. i have no motive." he said, standing up and walking toward you.
"then why would you even say that."
"isn't it clear?" he gets nears, a hand going to cradle the underside of your face, "i meant what i said."
"you can't love someone you barely know."
"but that's just it. i do know you. i've read your mind on paper, and experienced you for myself the moment i met you. i know that you hate to be wrong, you want to clench your first when you lie, although juliette is older by a bit - you feel the need to protect her, you're afraid of the dark, but never admit it, you hate yourself for loving your powers, and you want so badly to be accepted here because of your lonely childhood. shall i go on?"
you were flabbergasted by his word, and you couldn't even deny that they weren't true.
"how do you know this?"
"because, as my dear father put it, it seem you've bewitched me, my mind, and my body."
then he kissed you. and you let him.
and you very much liked it.
it was a longing, messy, kiss - he had you against the wall, lifted by your hips to his height. you wrapped your arms around his neck kissing him deeper, not letting any thoughts or worries flow from you for the moment.
the doors opened. "y/n? are you her-" then a gasp.
you recognized the voice - juliette.
you immediately panicked and pushed aaron away, attempting an explanation yo your sister, but she was already turning her feet and running away.
you gave warner a glance before you ran off in her direction.
you caught up to her, "juliette, please, wait!"
she abruptly stopped her feet and turned to you, "what are you doing y/n? kissing warner, are everything he's done!"
"it's just... i didn't... it's not like-" you struggled to put it into words.
"so what, you- you like the guy who kidnapped us? the one who shot a guy in front of us. experimented - borderline tortured us? he made me hurt a child, y/n. a child! and now you're making out with him."
you were at a loss for words, tears starting to build up at her harsh words.
"you're an idiot if you think you could love him, and even stupider to think a cold heartless person like him could love you. and i won't have anything to do with you if you keep him in your life." and with that she waked off, leaving you in the hall.
you didn't go back to warner after your fight, nor did you go back to your room immediately. you shamefully found an empty closet to cry into for a while. once you were able to breathe normally, you went back to the shared room - luckily everyone was fast asleep.
by morning, everyone was preparing for the rescue of brendan and winston. you and juliette exchanged no words; you attempted - but was shut down every time. she had never been this mad at you. so you just suited up and went to find kenji. kenji sensed the tension between you sisters, but didn't push for information.
you came to found out from castle, aaron warner was gone - he escaped omega point. likely on his way to the reestablishment.
you didn't want to focus on why a part of you was hurt when you heard that.
the battle was not a scene for the light-hearted - anderson's men had already begun gathering civilians and spewing blood. if you didn't have a strong stomach, you'd already be spilling your guts.
midway through dodging bullets and soldiers, you felt a shift in the already dire environment. there was something wrong, and you sensed it.
you urged kenji you felt the need to return to omega point - there was something wrong. he wasn't too convinced by your vague intuition, so you sought off on your own, doing your best to avoid the battlefield.
you ran into juliette at some point, not caring for your argument at the moment, and told her your inkling. she also brushed you off, telling it wasn't a time for your dramatics.
even with no support, you went back - you couldn't ignore this feeling.
you were maybe 200 ft away from omega point when it happened. bombs were dropped on the territory - causing the destruction of the building and any remaining members who stayed behind.
the explosion was powerful - even from where you were standing, it sent you both painfully flying back. you blacked out before you could react to the tragic ending of omega point.
you regained consciousness after consecutive kicks to your ribs and a voice telling you to wake up.
in front of you stood a crippled anderson, standing with he support of a cain. his composure was calm, but you could see the hatred behind his eyes.
you painfully stood up, surveying the area. you were in a house - similar to the one from last time.
you felt weak, dizzy, and the world was a bit blurry. you were leaning on a mantle to support your standing.
"ah, the fatigue your feeling would be my own fault. had those lovely sisters inject you with something. it will incapacitate you enough that you won't be a threat. can't have you flipping tables again."
you were barely registering his words, but when he mentioned sisters it gave you a bit of a jump start. he had sara and sonya.
your words felt faint, but you demanded to know where they were. he assured you they were unharmed, but it did nothing to ease you.
midway your conversation, warner enters the room - shocked to see you there. you probably would've reacted if you weren't so dosed on drugs.
"now that we have this reunion out the way, i'm going to be generous, something you ought to appreciate. you can tell me where your sister is and where the rest of your band of freaks are. you can aid me in destroying them and only after will i grant you the mercy of joining the reestablishment."
"what do you want with juliette?"
"she did this to me," he gestured to his legs, "and now i want my compensation."
no matter the situation with your sister, you'd never give her up.
"go to hell."
he sighs, "a disappointment once again, miss ferrars." he turns to his son, "this is why it's important i teach you this very valuable lesson son."
warner goes rigid, "what do you mean?"
warner pull out his shotgun, "justice, should always be served - even if it has to be by your own means."
then you were shot right in the chest.
you blacked out, then started slipping in and out of consciousness. all you remember is blood spilling from you at a rapid pace, and aaron crouched in front of you.
you remember voices - aarons, sara, and sonya's talking in rushed voices - then it was only aaron.
"hey cmon, amor, stay with me."
"wow... getting in the chest really sucks. i feel really bad about shooting you now." you spoke deliriously.
"it's alright, i just need you to hold on a little longer." his voice strained, holding back anguish. 
but you didn't; you passed out, your last thoughts hoping juliette would throw you a nice funeral, enough though she was upset at you. 
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675 notes ¡ View notes
catt-leya ¡ 2 years
Note
no bc what about rick having an internal battle bc he doesn’t know how to tell you that he finds you just so hot. like he fantasizes about you nearly every day.
i don’t wanna be too specific so that you can let your imagination fly 😫 i just know the man would feel so dirty after he finishes,, like so guilty
Dirty (18+) || Rick Grimes
I am so sorry Anon 💓
I had the fic ready for a while, but never posted it.
Let's see how regularly I will post soon, but the requets I have, I will of course work off one by one.
I hope you enjoy reading it, even if it's not my best work 💓
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Trigger: dirty talk (of course), age gap (no one is a minor!)
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You wipe the sweat from your forehead and look over at Maggie, who is lifting the next post with Rick.
In the last few days, the walkers outside the prison fences have been increasing in number, so Rick has asked you and Maggie to help him put up the wooden posts.
Sighing, you bend over and grab the next piece of wood, not noticing how Rick's gaze wanders to your butt and for a few seconds he just stares at you before he catches himself staring and turns his head back to Maggie a little too violently.
Again and again, he faints and lapses into daydreams that include you. Preferably naked and under himself.
But what keeps him from trying anything is your age.
Of course, theoretically you would be old enough and in itself it would be nothing reprehensible, but he simply does not want to cross the line and therefore holds back.
Every time you get close to him, which is not uncommon because you are a very open person who doesn't shy away from physical contact, he pulls himself together and tries to treat you like any other member in your group, even though he would love to rip your clothes off.
What he doesn't know is that you are purposefully seeking physical contact with him.
Ever since you first saw him in his boots and worn shirt, you've been completely smitten with him, making an effort to be close to him without seeming pushy.
Mainly because you think that he sees you anyway only as a little girl who is too young to tease him in any way.
What's good for both of you is that you get along really well, even though neither of you know that the other wants more.
That's why you pick up the log with a groan and call out to Rick, "Okay, I'm really not going to heave this thing to the fence by myself, Rick."
You feel him close behind you before he replies, "Wait."
Rick walks past you and lifts the other side, taking some of the weight off of you and you smile openly at him.
You're standing directly across from each other and Rick can't help but let his gaze slide over your beautiful face, which must be slightly heated from the physical labor, and he follows the beads of sweat that form on your forehead and slowly slide down your cheek over your neck and then to the hollow between your collarbones before they sinfully disappear between your breasts and he wishes he could kiss you right there.
You watch his eyes lower to your breasts and notice heat rising inside you.
With each breath, your breasts lift slightly and he stares so intently at your cleavage that it feels like he's looking through your top and you notice your nipples stiffen.
Because you're still holding the wooden stake between you and Rick, you can't cover your breasts any more, and because you've gone without a bra, you're sure he can see your nipples clearly through the top.
In fact, he's a bit surprised when he can see the hard tips and is almost ashamed to say that he would give a lot to take them between his teeth and show you how sensitive your breasts can be.
Swallowing hard, he wants to look you in the face again, when a shrill scream echoes from one of the cell blocks and you both drop the wood at the same time.
Hectically you turn to Maggie, who doesn't hesitate for a second and runs to the cells, closely followed by Rick. Briefly you look to the fence and follow the two.
On the way, Rick has overtaken Maggie and rushes to the cells, closely followed by her. You're about to head for the door when a little girl runs out and straight for you.
Panicked, she babbles something to herself and you drop to your knees to calm her down a bit, "Shhhh, it's okay. It's going to be okay."
Again you look at the door but no one comes out and the screams get quieter and quieter.
Worrying that something has happened to your friends and you weren't there to stop anything.
You have no idea how long you hold the little girl in your arms, when the first people come out of the building with their eyes widened in fear and a young woman comes running towards you and the girl.
Fiercely, she pulls the girl into her arms and whispers, "You're okay. Thank heaven."
Now that you no longer have a job to do you can't help but stare at the people from the building, anxiously waiting for Rick to return.
People are falling into each other's arms and tears are being shed, only you are pacing.
As everyone comes out, you don't dare go in and stand a little apart to get a better view.
The group of people slowly disperses and you curse softly, "Shit."
Just as you decide to go into the building and see for yourself what happened inside, the door swings open and Rick comes out followed by Daryl and Maggie.
Without much thought you sprint in his direction and as his eyes fall on you, he says, "You might want to keep your distance."
But you couldn't care less about his words, so you fall around his neck at the top of your lungs.
Surprised by your reaction, he staggers back a few steps and catches himself before you can both topple backwards, wrapping his arms rather hesitantly around your waist.
Rick can't describe how happy he was to see that you didn't crash into the cell block with him and all tension now falls from his shoulders as he feels your body against his.
Your whole body shakes and he pulls you even closer to him, "Hey, I'm fine."
His voice is soft in your ears and you just bury your nose harder into his chest, turning him on more than it should in this situation.
He looks up from you and his gaze meets Daryl's, who raises an eyebrow questioningly, but Rick just nods slightly, which Daryl takes as a sign that everything is fine as far as it can be in this situation and walks with Maggie to what is currently the only safe cell block.
Rick's attention is taken over by you again, as you whisper softly through his chest: "I thought something had happened to you. You haven't come out in so long."
He can't help a smile forming on his face as he hears your concern. Especially since you've only fallen for his neck and no one else's.
Also, he would be lying if he didn't also admit that he has an extreme physical reaction to you. The way your soft breasts press against his torso and your arms are wrapped tightly around him.
Gently, he pushes his hips away from you a little so you don't notice HOW excited he is about your embrace and murmurs, "Sorry you had to wait so long."
At his words, your breathing slowly calms and you move away from him a bit so you can look him in the face and nod, "Okay. What happened anyway?"
Calmly, Rick describes to you what happened in the cells and neither of you think about the fact that you're still in each other's arms.
After Rick finishes, you gently disengage from his embrace and clear your throat, "Sorry, I know you can take care of yourself."
Silently, you look at each other for a few seconds and you can tell Rick is struggling with what words to choose before he hesitantly opens his mouth, "I don't mind. I...like it."
Surprised by his confession, you blink several times before biting your lower lip lightly and nodding.
Rick tries to take in every reaction from you and doesn't take his eyes off you as you take a small step back and ask, "You like it when I touch you?"
He didn't say it verbatim but you hit it well, so he nods, "Yeah."
You can practically grab the tension between you and you're tense to the max as you reach out your small hand compared to his large one and nervously place it on his chest, "Like here?"
Rick looks down at your hand and exhales an agonized breath as he thinks of where your hand would look much better.
He can't gauge what you're up to and asks in a raspy voice, "What are you doing?"
Shakily you exhale and let your hand slide feather light to his flat stomach, "I just want to know where to touch you."
The brief time you thought something might have happened to him has pulled the rug out from under you and you're desperate to know how far you can go after he really doesn't seem averse.
You just can't hide the fact that your hand is shaking slightly, and Rick takes a quick look around. When he doesn't spot anyone in the immediate vicinity, he takes your hand from his stomach and pulls you behind him into a small room nearby.
You stumble after him and are gently pushed against the door by him before he says softly, "You don't have to worry about me leaving and whatever short-circuit reaction you had earlier, just forget about it."
Now you realize that he didn't bring you here to fuck you, but so that he wouldn't have to tell you to get him out of your head in front of any witnesses.
You're thankful that there are no windows in the room and therefore it's so dark that he can't see your cheeks, which are flushed with shame.
You could have sworn that he really enjoyed your closeness, so you murmur shamefully, "If you don't want me to touch you, please let me go."
At that moment, you just want to be as far away from him as possible, but he blocks you with his body and growls softly, "You've got me all wrong. Shit, I'd give a lot to have you jerk me off, but I shouldn't want that."
Immediately he notices you stiffen and regrets his unfiltered words, but before he can salvage what needs to be salvaged, you purposefully place your hand on his belt, "I'm curious about the explanation of why you shouldn't want me to shove my hand down your pants right now, though."
At your words, Rick shifts toward your hand more out of reflex than intent and sighs softly, "What are you, 20? 21? It just feels dirty to look at you that way and want you."
Rick is teetering along the edge of his self-control as you thoughtfully run the flat of your hand over his belt buckle and lean your head against the door to face him in the dim darkness, "I'm 22."
Confused, he furrows his eyebrows, "What?"
You release your hand from his belt and he already thinks you're going to ask him to make room for you now, but you place your hands on his left and right arm, propped up next to your head, and slowly travel up his forearms to his strong upper arms and then to his neck to intertwine your fingers in his curls before answering: "You did guess how old I am and that's why I'm telling you I'm 22 and that's why there's nothing wrong with you getting hard thinking about me or fucking me until I can't moan anything but your name, Rick. "
Hearing his name from your lips, escaping you like a soft sigh, makes him moan softly and you know you've got him almost where you want him, which is why you kick it up a notch and purr, "Don't you want to ruin me? Feel my soft body under your palms and grab me so hard that I'll be walking around marked by you for the next few days. I bet you're incredibly turned on by the age difference, and you'd just love to know what it's like to be so deep inside me that I can't think straight, wouldn't you?"
You can see exactly when he's caving in and can't hold back anymore. It's just a slight change in his eyes and you know you're getting what you wanted when he leans in slightly and growls, "You want it hard?"
Your heart hammers in your chest as you bring out hoarsely, "Yes, please."
The door presses coldly against your back as he bridges the small distance and presses his lips firmly to yours and you close your eyes, fluttering.
It's been a while since you've kissed a man, but I guess it's like never forgetting how to ride a bike. Intuitively, you know what to do and push up on your toes so Rick doesn't have to lean down so far.
The kiss is hard and passionate, as if Rick is putting all of his desire that has been building up over all this time into the kiss and you are trying to show him that as well.
Because he's still not really touching you and is still leaning against the door behind you, you take advantage of the moment and press yourself firmly against him, then turn him so that he's leaning against the door with his broad back and looks down at you in surprise.
Rick has never thought of you as a weak woman, of course you are physically inferior to him, but that has never prevented you from standing up to him, but the fact that you suddenly take control in the foreplay surprises him, even though he should perhaps have expected it after your little speech earlier.
He can't take his eyes off you as you move your small hands from his neck to his chest and you slowly lower yourself to your knees in front of him.
You feel his irregular heartbeat under your palms before you continue to look into his beautiful blue eyes and your hands come to rest on his belt buckle again.
Slowly you pull the belt out of the buckle and pull his pants including boxers to just below his hipbones to breathe a light kiss on them.
The light and innocent touch of your lips so close to his twitching cock almost makes Rick lose control and he reaches into your hair, making you laugh softly, "Is this how you imagined it?"
Rick's head falls forward a little, causing some curls to hang in his face as he brings out in a clenched voice, "Better than I imagined."
Gently, you pull his pants completely off, trying not to swallow hard when you see how big he actually is, licking your lips instead to get ready.
Your eyes are focused on the task in front of you, but you can feel Rick's eyes boring into your face.
The trembling in his hands also gives him away: he wants you a lot more than he'd admit.
As he watches you take him inch by inch in your mouth, he really has to pull himself together not to fuck you in the mouth until tears would be in your eyes.
The image of you on your knees in front of him drills into his memory and he knows very well that he will never be able to think of anything other than your warm wet mouth the next time he jerks himself off.
Gently you do what you think is right and elicit a rough moan from Rick.
As you look up, his head leans against the door behind him and his hands push you further toward him at the back of your head that you take more than before into your mouth.
It gives you pure satisfaction that you can make him moan your name and press your legs together to help yourself somehow as well.
Your hands move to his strong thighs and your eyes fall closed as you think of his thighs being squeezed between yours.
Briefly, you are blown away as Rick grabs you tighter by your hair and forces you to let go of him and lets him pull you up.
Swaying, you stand in front of him and his hot gaze lingers on your swollen lips, "Do you want me?"
Without hesitation, you nod your head vigorously and he pulls your head back towards him and kisses you on the lips.
Everything that has been fades into the background for Rick and he slowly pushes you further and further back.
He grabs your thighs and moans, "Jump."
You do as he asks and wrap your legs around his narrow waist.
Without breaking the kiss, he carries you to a small table in a corner and gently lowers you onto it before reaching for your waistband and you wordlessly lift your hips so he can remove your pants and panties.
Your whole body trembles as his warm hands glide over your bare skin and he can't believe you are responding to him like this.
You feel so small and soft in his hands, and in all his life he's felt this way about a woman as the moment your hands move to the buttons of his shirt and you undo one button at a time.
As you reach the bottom, he brushes the shirt off his shoulders and leans forward slightly to whisper in your ear, "Spread your legs for me."
As confident and cocky as you were before, it's all gone now and you whimper softly as the cold air brushes your damp center as you open your thighs for him to stand between.
His body seems so wide and masculine between your legs, making you feel fragile at the way he towers over you.
You must be looking at him in a certain way, because he tilts his head slightly and asks, "Is something wrong?"
He snaps you out of your thoughts and you ask hoarsely, "What?"
His big warm hands come to rest on your thighs as he says, "You're looking at me in a very unusual way."
He does speak to you, but as he does, he lets his hands move higher and higher and every thought in your head becomes absorbent cotton, causing you to speak too freely, "You're so...manly."
His right hand moves between your legs and he laughs, "Manly?"
You realize how ridiculous it sounds, but his fingers play lightly at the dampness between your legs and because of that, you just nod and push your hips toward him for more.
Shivering, you close your eyes and whimper softly, "Yeah, is one reason why I'm so...attracted to you."
"Hmmm." His head lowers a little to your face, "I'll just take that as a compliment now."
Your lips part to say something back, but at that exact moment he slides a finger inside you and your forehead falls to his shoulder.
That's all he does, and you sigh shakily, "Please."
His touch is killing you, but it's still just not enough.
You notice how his chest rises and falls before he growls, "Isn't it enough?"
Greedily, you wrap your arms around his neck and move closer, "God, no. More, please."
Gently, he pulls his finger back a little and then slides a second one inside you with it. The stretch makes you see stars at first and he murmurs, "If you ask me so sweetly."
Finally, he moves his fingers just as you need them to and cradles your hips further against his hand.
The hand that is free he places on your neck and presses your face firmly against him.
Your lips are pressed against his neck as a result and you take the opportunity to suck on it.
You lick over his pulse and you quickly realize that the hotter you make him, the more intensely he fingers you.
Extremely questionable sounds slip over your lips and he presses your face even tighter against him as he gasps, "That's good. Your pussy is so wet and all this just for me."
His name slips from your lips and you realize you're just one move away from cumming on his fingers, but right then he pulls them out and pulls you away from him by the nape of your neck.
Speechless, you stare at him, unable to believe that he has denied you your orgasm, especially as he looks down at you with extreme satisfaction and smiles cockily, "Is there a problem?"
Your lips open and close again and again before you choke out, "You can't just stop."
He lifts his hand, licks his fingers, and grins, "And how I can."
Briefly, your gaze slides to his neck on which the mark you gave him is already visible before you push your bottom lip forward far too tearfully and he immediately stares at your pout.
Before you can say anything else, he leans forward and presses his mouth hard on yours.
He takes you completely and you no longer know where is above and below.
The surface beneath you must already be glistening with moisture as he softly breathes against your lips, "I want you to cum on my cock. That's why I stopped."
His way of talking to you is new and fucking exciting and you can only whimper softly at his crude words.
Rick sees every reaction you have to his words and really has to hold back as he pulls you to the edge as gently as he can and wraps his warm hands around your thighs to wrap around his bare hips before whispering, "You think you can stay like this?"
Your eyes mirror the joyful gleam of his own, and in response you pull him further toward you with your legs so that you feel his cock right at your entrance and your insides tighten around nothing.
Rick can only hope that you don't realize how blatant you are turning him on and how many times he has imagined completely sinking into you.
Perhaps a little too impatiently, he places a hand in the small of your back and moans as he thrusts into you in his fluid motion, "This is so fucking hot."
Never has a man filled you as much as Rick does at this moment, and you stare at him with huge eyes as he takes a shaky breath, unable to believe that he actually desires you like this.
Without much thought, you pull his face to you by the nape of his neck and kiss him blindly with desire.
Rick takes it as permission to finally move inside you like he's always wanted and thrusts into you one more time, only harder and much more desperate.
You are both unable to kiss anymore, so he just presses his nose against yours and swallows every whimper and moan from you.
Your legs are wrapped convulsively around his waist and the closer Rick gets to his own release, the bolder he feels.
The thought of coming right inside you and marking you as his shouldn't feel as good as it does to him right now.
Somewhere in the back of his mind, he feels so incredibly guilty about fucking a young woman like you senseless, because that's exactly what he's holding in his arms right now.
You're so close to your orgasm that you can barely hold yourself up and keep begging him to take you harder and telling him how good he feels.
You're practically hanging in his arms and he realizes how his heart skips a beat at the sight of you. How you give yourself completely to him and trust him.
It goes beyond the purely physical and before he can think about it further, he presses a heated kiss on your lips and gasps harshly, "Do you realize how deep I am inside you. I'd love to stay right there forever."
The control of your words slips away and you whimper, "Then do it."
You're not even really aware of your words, but Rick perceives them correctly and wouldn't have thought that those very words would make him twitch inside of you and he quickly reaches between you.
It only takes a brief touch to make you come around him, giving him his end.
Never in his life has Rick come so quickly and violently as he has inside you, and never has he felt the need to hold the woman in his arms afterwards and stroke the sweaty strands of her hair.
You're the first.
You feel like your body is no longer obeying you as you lie limp and deeply satisfied in Rick's arms, taking in his smell of wood and the soap he uses.
His body is so nice and wide and it feels like he can protect you from anything and everything.
Rick's eyes are locked on you and as forbidden and dirty as it may have felt, he doesn't regret it one bit.
Especially since he doesn't even want to imagine how you would experience it with another man than him.
Just the thought that another man could touch you the way he touched you makes him sick and at that moment it clicks in his head.
Now he can feel guilty because it's not just a physical thing for him. Not just sex.
He has a crush on a woman who could be his daughter.
Involuntarily, a "fuck" slips from his lips and you murmur softly against his chest, "What is it?"
At your soft and satisfied voice, his heart skips a beat again and he knows he's really fucked.
@positive-squid @hail-yourselves @mrsxreeves
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3K notes ¡ View notes
its-time-to-write ¡ 7 months
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hiya there love
i was wondering, if i could request a lovely jamie tartt fic from you? it would basically revolve around r being increadibly stressed and overworked and, of ypu are comfortable, r gets a panic attack (maybe she works at the dogtrack and then people are confused about what is happening) and then jamie swoops in and saves the day
absolutely love your writing and stories and senig lots of love and creativity your way <3 <3 <3
guys I have like five WIPS and usually I have zero, but here we are. Most of them only need their closing paragraph but I have been BUSY and also very tired. thank you @dark-academia-slut for this request and your recent comments on my posts🩵🩵
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for you, there’ll be no more crying
There’s too much to do and only one you, and yet everything needs to be done today and no one seems to realize that they’re assigning you more work on top of what other people have already given you. You didn’t realize everything was so pressing, but here you are with a to do list as long as your arm filled with tasks to be completed ASAP. 
You think that taking a break for lunch is a bad idea, honestly you’d rather sit at your desk and check some more things off your list, but HR insists that you have a thirty-minute break. It’s also shitty because your boyfriend works here too, but you’re not sitting with him today because by the time he got to the cafe, the only available space was all the way across the room. So here you are, tapping your foot as you force down a salad. 
Chewing feels mechanical, each bite heavy in your mouth. You choke down a piece as your index finger taps on your thumb, counting down the minutes until you can rush back to your office. You can feel Helen from HR keeping an eye on you, and you don’t need to add a visit from her to you list. 
“Oi, can you compile that list I emailed you about last week?” Stephanie from the front desk asks from across the table. 
You give her a confused look. “What list?”
She returns your look. “The one I sent last Tuesday?”
You shake your head and say, “I never got that email.”
Stephanie frowns and pulls out her phone. “Oh, whoops, it’s in my drafts still.” She presses a button and says, “There, it’s sent!” with a cheerful grin, like that changes anything. 
Your whole leg is shaking now, not just your foot. “When do you need it?” you ask carefully, willing her to say literally an other day but today. 
“Oh, I need it by the end of the day,” she replies so you nod, all slow and mechanical. 
You ask, “Can I get it to you tomorrow?” and she shakes her head. 
“No, I really needed it done by today. You should have checked with me when you didn’t get my email on Tuesday.”
You don’t point out that it’s impossible to ask about an email you didn’t even know existed, mainly because Stephanie is best friends with Helen and you literally cannot deal with both of them today. 
So instead you nod, fake a smile, and take another bite of salad as Stephanie gets up to leave. 
The moment she’s gone, everything goes slow. And not in a good way. 
You think, oh shit as the food in your mouth becomes tasteless and your gaze becomes fixated on a spot on the table. 
Oh shit. Shit, shit, shit. 
Liam notices and asks, “Are you alright?” in his too-loud voice, so now everyone in the cafe is looking at you as you take stuttered breaths around the salad in your mouth. 
You’re confident that this couldn’t get any worse, but you can’t even answer Liam so he shakes your arm, causing you to jolt. 
You press one hand to your heart as you try to catch a breath with all eyes still on you. 
A hand presses a napkin to your mouth and says, “Spit,” but you don’t look up to see who it is. You’re stuck on that one spot on the table, unable to move anything except your leg. But you don’t need to look up to know who it is. 
“Fuck off, Liam,” says Jamie and Liam does. 
You’re told later that Jamie flips off anyone who’s still staring, but you miss it in the moment because it’s over your head. 
“You alright, babe?” he asks gently, but you don’t respond. He slides into the seat Liam has vacated and grabs your hand. “Oi, look at me.”
His hands are warm in contrast to your cold ones, and the uses his one free hand to tilt your face toward his. You’re having a hard time making eye contact so he bends his head just enough so he’s in your line of sight. 
“There you are,” he smiles, “You want to tell me what’s wrong or do you want me to guess?”
You just look, chest rising and falling way too fast. 
“Right,” he says. “Let’s get your breathing under control. Breathe with me, yeah?”
You see the staff and team at Nelson Road filtering out of the cafe, so you focus on Jamie’s face and follow his breaths. 
“Okay, keep going like that. What else can we talk about? Oi, did you hear what fucking Roy did this morning? The lad’s fucking insane, he is. Strings around dicks? Can’t believe I almost lost mine, and on date night no less.” He winks. “You’d‘ve had his head for sure, love.”
You crack a smile at that. 
“Ey!” he says, “She lives!”
“I love you,” you tell him and he squeezes your hand. 
“She fuckin’ talks, too. What a woman.”
You think of a few snide replies, but you’re not too sold on talking just yet so you settle for silence. 
“Was it fucking Helen?” Jamie asks, “Bird’s more insane than Coach.”
You wiggle your head. Technically, it wasn’t just Helen, but she’s the one who’s been handing you the most assignments while also insisting on the stupidest breaks. 
“Bet it were Stephanie too,” he continues. “Babe, you’ve gotta fucking talk to Higgins or Ms. Welton or some shit. They’re using you like some personal servant and it ain’t right.”
You shrug and Jamie squeezes your hand again. “None of that,” he says. 
He’s not wrong. 
It’s just you two, alone, so he allows himself a moment to cup your face in one hand. “You’re good, yeah?” he asks. 
You take a deep breath and nod. “Yeah, I’m good.”
He grins and leans forward to kiss your forehead. 
“D’you want to ditch the rest of the day?” he asks and you give him a Look. 
You say, “I can’t ditch. I have too much to do and you can’t ditch because you have training.”
Jamie’s still grinning as he says, “Bet I could get out of it ‘cause of me injury and you could get out of it if you talked to Ms. Welton.”
“Absolutely not,” you reply, but he’s already standing up.
“Gonna talk to her about fucking Helen,” he says. “I’d bet my entire house that none of your shit is that big of an emergency.”
“No you won’t,” you call after him, “And anyway, she wouldn’t listen to you about any of it.”
Jamie’s basically already gone so he just shouts, “Ta,” as you sigh and get up to go back to your office. 
An hour later, you’re in the car with Jamie as he laments your lack of faith in him. “Told you Helen’s full of shit,” he says. “You’re going to be way better at her job than she ever was.”
“The fuck, Jamie,” you reply. “I still can’t believe you made me talk to Rebecca.”
He shrugs, one hand on the wheel. “I’m a dead good boyfriend, is what I am.”
You laugh. He certainly is that. 
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verana115 ¡ 1 month
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PSA: most trans people on hormones don’t pass after a year. I think the prevalence of “passing at 11 months!!!” type stories has given a lot of people the impression that somewhere around there is when people start to look like what they want. And like yeah, some people do, and fucking great for them, but you don’t see nearly as many people talking about how they don’t pass at that point because a) people share those things online less often and b) those posts get less traction because they’re heavier
Me? I passed for the first time at 7 months. I passed for the second time at 19 months. That fucking sucked. I felt like I had been given exactly what I wanted and watched it get taken away from me, and the idea that I should be passing more regularly in the months following really ate away at me and made me feel like I “failed” in my transition - I legit thought that I would never pass
It certainly didn’t help that, in addition to overwhelmingly seeing narratives online of passing early in one’s transition, every piece of medical information that was presented to me said that most changes would happen over the first two years. Maybe I was deluding myself, but baby trans me thought “oh that means I have two years to transition or else I fail because hormones won’t do anything past that”. And that ate away at me more than the not passing, cause I felt like I was “missing my chance” at having the body I wanted
And boy was I wrong, in the last year (my third year on hormones), I feel like I’ve seen more changes than I saw in my first year. My boobs are filling themselves out, my body hair is getting even lighter, my skin is noticeably softer even though I stopped moisturizing/doing most of my previous skincare routine. Hell, even my hips and ass have gotten wider. And this was *all* during an era that the medical information I was presented with gave me the impression that any changes that did occur would be minor
To show you what I mean, compare one of my first trans-flag photos, taken at 11 months on e, verses a semi-recreation I did earlier today at 33 months on e (same clothes and roughly the same pose/lighting, different mountains)
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Notice a difference? I sure do - and to prove to you that this happened in the third year, here's a similar photo of me in between these two at 23 months on e:
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I’m usually not one for transition timelines, mainly because my whole project is kind of a transition timeline, and if you wanna look through and see more of what I'm taking about feel free to either scroll a few posts down on my blog, or check out my google drive with all the photos from my projects. The difference doesn't look *too* dramatic to me, but some people I know irl have expressed that it is
Regardless, the point I'm trying to make here is that my experience on hormones was *not* passing at one year - and that's the experience of the vast majority of people I know who've been on hormones. Puberty takes many years, and yeah, that can suck to hear when you're expecting it to take two, but trust me, it's a healthier mindset to think of yourself as continuously moving in the direction you want, rather than waiting to arrive at a particular destination
If you've started hormones in the last year, be sure to give your body the time it needs to make the changes you want - transitioning is a marathon, not a sprint
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hopelessromantic423 ¡ 1 year
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Things More Intimate Than Sex
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader
Summary: Sex with Bucky Barnes was great, but there were things more intimate that you had noticed over the course of your relationship. These are those things.
Warnings: Bad writing. Time skips. Angst. Breakup reunion. Cursing.
A/N: Howdy! I wrote this at 3am last night so it might be bad. Thought I would post it anyway :)
You love the little things in life. The little quirks of your boyfriend or the little notes you pick up about people you surround yourself with. You especially love the little things when it comes to intimacy.
Sex with Bucky was out of this world amazing, really, but that wasn't the only deciding factor when it came to loving Bucky Barnes. It was the little moments that felt intimate.
The first time you noticed one of these little intimate moments was sitting next to Bucky on the plane ride back to the compound. You had your headphones in listening to one of your favorite songs.
You heard a murmur and immediately pulled an earbud out and glanced up at Bucky wide-eyed. At this point in your relationship, you had the biggest crush on him but you could barely tell him hello in the hallways.
"Hm?" You said nervously.
"What are you listening to?" Bucky chuckled looking at your cute but curious facial expression.
"Umm.. just a song I've been liking a lot lately. Do you want to listen to it?" You held up the second earbud for him to take which he did. Bucky placed the earbud in his ear and you restarted the song, glancing up at him every few seconds to see his reaction.
He had a soft smile as the two of you sat together. You couldn’t help but blush as your legs brushed together. The littlest touch made your heart flutter back then.
A moment so simple yet you couldn't stop thinking about how intimate it was. Just you and him listening to a song only the two of you could hear.
The second time, you and Bucky had been dating for a few months. It was a nice stormy Sunday morning and you had stayed the night at Buckys. He was still fast asleep with his head dug into his pillow. The little creases from the pillowcase imprinted on his cheek. You sat slowly waking up, admiring him and his good looks. Even asleep he was like a Greek god reincarnated.
It was when you were glancing out the window, admiring the rain pouring outside, you felt Bucky's arm reach around your waist and pull you toward him. His face nuzzled in your neck and his chest was flush with your back.
"Good morning," he mumbled with a deep groggy tone.
"Good morning handsome," you sighed happily, scooting yourself as close to him as possible.
Those were the only words you said for the next thirty minutes. The two of you just sat in each other's company watching the rain. The warmth of your embrace kept both of you content as time passed.
The intimacy in silence was something you enjoyed with Bucky. Whether it be in the car, on a mission, or just pacing around the apartment together. It was a comfortable silence.
Intimacy was never something you searched for. Growing up it was terrifying. The thought of giving a little piece of yourself and never getting it back was maddening. Bucky was the one who introduced real intimacy. The soft kisses on your cheek as you left for work, or the sweet words he would tell you while you were on a date.
The moment that makes your heart soar and your stomach feels like a million butterflies is when he looks at you. Simple, but meaningful. His piercing blue eyes could cut through metal with how sharp they are, but for you, they are like the pretty blue sky and that sky is only looking at you.
It was Tony's annual New Year's Eve party. People paid large sums of money just to step foot in the building, but to you, it was just another event you had to go to.
It was more difficult than other parties mainly because you and Bucky had broken up two months prior. He said it was for safety reasons, and you couldn't change his mind, not even a little.
You sat at the bar with Nat and Wanda gossiping about all the new employees and their love lives. Nat would try and persuade you to go on a date with Steve every hour or so and you would refuse. Most importantly, every minute you would glance to see if Bucky was still at the party, and every time you did, he was not so subtly staring at you with his soft baby-blue sky eyes.
The intimacy of it all. The way his eyes sparkled under the party lights and how the music blurred the moment your eyes found his. Time stopped. No one else saw you looking at each other, it was like your little secret with each other. Like nothing else mattered at that moment except that you were looking at him and he was looking at you.
Your heart felt like it broke every time you looked, and every time he was staring right back at you. It must have been three drinks later and you were fed up with it. The constant need to remind yourself not to waltz over there and kiss him was getting to your head. Liquid courage goes a long way when you are heartbroken.
Bucky was talking to Steve and Sam as you walked up to the brunette with balled-up fists and your eyebrows scrunched together. Bucky looked a little taken back as he watched you pace the party floor towards him.
"James, can I talk to you for a second?" You huffed, not acknowledging any of the other men.
"Yea sure," Bucky answered timidly, placing his drink on the table beside him.
You pulled him off to an empty hallway next to the large party hall. His back was against the wall as you paced a little waiting to say what needed to be said.
"Everything alright? Are you hurt?" Of course, he says that type of bull crap. The perfect, caring, loving man you know is right back to what he knows. It angered you even more just how perfect he is.
"I don't know what game you're playing at Barnes, but it has to stop," you demanded. If it was possible, there would have been visible steam coming from your ears.
Bucky looked taken back. His eyebrows squished together and created a line in between them. His lips scrunched ever so slightly with hands coming up defensively. "What game? (Y/N), you think I would play some twisted game with you?"
"I need you to stop looking at me every five seconds okay? It's getting to be too much,” your eyes everted too the floor as you spoke. It wasn’t until you were done that you looked up at the brunette. Bucky’s expression had changed drastically. He looked sad, but still taken back that you would say such a thing.
"Can I not make sure you're okay from across the room? We haven't spoken to each other all night!”
“So… I don't get why you keep looking at me like... like that!” You pointed at his face dramatically, “How you're looking at me right now."
"Right now, I'm looking at you like you’re insane,” Bucky sighed with a sarcastic tone.
"You know what I mean Buck.” Your hand came up and dragged across your face in frustration. The energy from the conversation was slowly draining you, even though you initiated it. "I'm going to go back to the party."
You were a few feet away when you heard Bucky quietly but surely say, "(Y/N) wait.. I- I miss you."
You turned around, crossing your arms, waiting for what he would say next. In the back of your mind, it was pleading for him to say something that would make everything okay.
"I miss you and that's why I've been staring all night. You look so god damn pretty in that dress and the way I've wanted to walk over and kiss you as if nothing had happened between us.."
Bucky took a breath, glancing at the floor. He always did that when he was too scared to say what he needed to say. He looked mentally exhausted as he looked up to speak again.
"I regret everything that happened two months ago. I was afraid because I'm a danger to be with and the thought of you being hurt because of me... it's my worst nightmare." Bucky’s eyes were deep with sadness as he stared at you, praying you would do anything but walk away.
"I still love you, a lot,” he pleaded. He took two steps closer to you.
You couldn’t help it when a small soft smile appeared on your lips as you walked over to him. His breath was rolling off your cheeks, that’s how close you were. Your hand reached for his as you said, "I still love you too Buck, a lot."
That's when he did it. He looked at you as if you were the only woman in the world. He looked at you like that as you walked back to the party together, and when you walked down the aisle at your wedding and for the rest of your life. The act was simple and pure, but oh so intimate.
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