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#i still get emotional when i hear Endless Possibility
chelsiegeorgia · 1 year
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I am once again thinking about Sonic Unleashed
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kamaluhkhan · 4 months
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THE GRUDGE (or: the 7 things luke castellan hated about you)
read part two GET HIM BACK! (or: the 7 reasons you want revenge on luke castellan)
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pairing: luke castellan x child of nemesis!reader (gender not specified)
word count: 8.5k
summary: luke hated your guts. he really did. he just hoped that no one could tell how, even after all this, you're still everything to him.
warnings/disclaimer: luke's POV. spoilers for the lightning thief and season 1 of pjo. some heated make-out sessions but no actual smut - MDNI / 18+. mentions of blood + death + alcohol. luke is 19 during tlt but i wrote this with him + reader being 21 by the end of this (this is important for the next part lol). anyways, luke + reader share clothes and lots of intense emotions they maybe possibly don't process in the best way. lots of ANGST - it's a greek tragedy fr!
author's note: welcome to my new hyperfixation! this fic is LONG but i hope she's worth it ♡
♪: the grudge by olivia rodrigo
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(i. you have a sharp tongue)
fourteen year old luke was overwhelmed when he first stepped into the hermes cabin. it was loud and overcrowded and no one really seemed to care that they had a new cabinmate. the head counselor showed luke to an empty bed at the back, told him to get settled in, and left without another word. luke dropped his backpack before collapsing on the mattress. it was so thin that he could feel the springs dig into his back.
"you'll get used to it."
luke sat up to see you climbing through the window. 
you had a band-aid stuck on your chin, chipped nail polish the color of blackberries, and leather combat boots that looked way too heavy to be wearing in the heat of summer. 
“the shitty mattress?”
“i meant the whole chaos of cabin 11, and the way things work around here in general. if you can get used to the shitty mattress, all power to you.” 
your tone was friendly enough, playful even. you smiled at him so comfortably it made luke nauseous. 
“good to know.” he tried to smile back at you, but his heart wasn’t in it. “i’m luke, by the way.”
“yeah, i know. i’m —”
“y/n!”
you seemed entirely unfazed as the blond who called your name stormed over to you. you rolled your eyes, something only luke could notice, before turning to her.
“someone stole my candy.”
“i’m very sorry to hear that, maddy. gotta be careful around here.” your voice dripped like poisoned honey, deceptively innocent and sweet.
maddy was not having it. she huffed at you. “it was you, wasn’t it?”
“that depends. did you cheat at poker last night? again?” 
some of the chatter throughout the cabin paused, heads turning to listen in. 
“what? n-no!” 
“then you have your answer, maddy.” you exaggerated a sigh, as though you had already won the fight and were annoyed that she came back for more. “now, if you’ll excuse me, i have a new camper to show around.”
chiron had already given them a tour, but luke didn’t protest when you grabbed his hand and pulled him out of the window with you. your hand was warm in his as you dragged him along to the corner of the cabin where a poorly made ladder waited for you. 
“come on.” you started climbing, and only stopped to look down when you realized luke wasn’t following you. “best view of camp. trust me.”
a shiver passed through luke. trust didn’t come easy to him. he also didn’t particularly want to return to a stuffy cabin where all he would do was count reasons he did not want to be there.
 so, luke followed you. he sat down next to you on the roof and looked out at the sun shining on his new home, but he couldn't help but be slightly bitter. the gods had gotten all of you into this life of endless danger and battles and monsters, and this was all they had to offer in return: a summer camp. 
it just didn't seem fair. 
there was something else he noticed then. what was it that chiron had said? camp half-blood was supposed to be a safe haven for all demigods. 
“i don’t get it. there are only twelve cabins, but aren’t there, like, a million other gods?”
you straightened your posture then, and turned to luke with a newfound interest. 
“camp half-blood only has cabins representing the twelve olympians. apparently, they’re the only ones important enough to have children worth recognizing, and they can’t even do that half the time,” you explained, impertinence laced throughout your words. it seemed like something you could never quite get off your chest. 
every  demigod knew that the gods didn’t appreciate sarcasm. they  didn’t particularly like being called out on their bullshit, either.
you didn’t seem to care; you even rolled your eyes up at the sky, as if challenging zeus himself. 
“anyways, that’s why the hermes cabin is so crowded. it takes in campers who are unclaimed or whose parent doesn’t have a cabin at camp. like me.”
“so, who’s your godly parent?”
you fiddled with the leather cord on your neck. it held a few clay beads like the other campers, but there was one silver charm he noticed only you wore — scales, by the looks of it. you clutched onto it.
luke realized that, despite your own advice, maybe you resented having to get used to the way things worked around here, and having to hide your resentment. maybe that was worse than having to sleep on an uncomfortable bed for the rest of your life.
"nemesis. goddess of revenge."
"that's....hardcore."
you scoffed and moved on to twisting the silver ring on your index finger. "a lot of people take it that way, and i think it scares them a bit.”
“so that’s why you’re extra nice to new campers, huh?” 
“no, i was just in a good mood today.” you smirked.
“guess i was just lucky, then.”
luke couldn’t help but smile at your laugh — sharp, biting. you nudged your boot against his sneaker, which shifted you closer to him, shoulders practically touching. 
“what people don’t understand is that it's more about balance, you know? you do good things, and good things happen to you. at least, they should. you do bad things and….” you pulled out an outrageously big bag of candy, dropped it between you and luke, and winked at him. “you face the consequences.” 
“that makes sense.” luke leaned over to grab a handful of gummy bears. “like karma.”
“yeah. exactly.” 
you bit the head off a red bear, both of you chewing in silence before you added:
“by the way, i’m sorry about your friend.” you swallowed and caught luke’s gaze. 
chiron warned him that word would travel fast around camp about what happened to thalia, and luke had prepared himself for anything — anything but your reaction. there was no pity in your eyes; instead, there was a hint of rage, as though thalia had been your friend, too. 
“she deserved more.” 
luke’s eyes caught the glint of a knife strapped to your belt. he took another handful of the candy you stole, and he thought about the fire and fearlessness behind your words, and, despite everything, it felt right to be with you then and there. 
“yeah,” he finally whispered back. “she did.”
we all do. 
neither of you said those words, but the suggestion was there, and it felt like a promise. 
(ii. you hold on to every stupid, little detail)
“slow down, tiger.” 
your voice echoed throughout the arena, and if luke had been fighting a real opponent, it might have gotten him killed. instead, he just stopped mid-swing, sparing another straw dummy from losing its arm. 
“left hand,” you noted as you walked past him towards a bench. “you, my friend, are in need of a break.”
luke loosened the grip on his sword. the only time luke fought with his non-dominant hand was when he had overworked the other. he must have switched an hour ago, but judging by how heavy his arm felt, it could have very well been two.  
his curls were stuck to his forehead with sweat, his shirt soaked through. he could feel a dull pain behind his eyes, and luke was worried that if he stopped to catch his breath, he would pass out. or, even worse, have to face the reality of the shitty news he’d gotten early that day. 
“come sit with me,” you urged. “you’re exhausted, tiger.” 
luke bristled at your nickname for him. 
sure, luke loved that there was something only you called him, a secret kept between you in plain sight, but it was also a reminder that it was harder to hide behind the hero act when you were around.
everyone else at camp figured the nickname was a playful attempt at calling him strong and charismatic. the truth was that luke once told you that his favorite cereal as a kid was frosted flakes and that he would dream of playing sports as well as tony the tiger. for better or for worse, like most things, you wouldn’t let it go. 
case in point: if it was anybody other than you trying to get him to take a break, luke could have just brushed them off with a charming smile and continued swordfighting until his arms fell off, but in the two years since meeting you, luke had never met anyone as stubborn and convincing. like him, it seemed you were willing to fight and shed blood to get your way. luke was never really in the mood to make you bleed, even when feeling like he could burn the entire world down, so he usually gave in to your demands.  
as soon as he sat down next to you, you handed him an orange flavored energy drink — his favorite. anything other than water was hard to come by at camp without the enchanted goblets in the dining pavilion, or the right connection in the hermes cabin. he ran out of his stash the other day, but you must have noticed and gotten one of the stoll brothers to smuggle more in. 
“thanks,” luke said, ignoring the jolt of electricity that passed through him when your fingers brushed together briefly. 
 the two of you looked out at the sword arena, and all the straw dummies that luke had destroyed. you wait for him to take three big gulps of his drink before speaking again. 
“i guess chiron and your dad decided you weren’t ready for a quest.”
luke exhaled sharply. “how did you —”
“the only time you’d skip out on capture the flag is if something really shitty happened.” you looked down at luke’s clenched fists, and that seemed to be all the confirmation you needed. “you promised annabeth you'd be there, and it's not like you to let her down."
fuck. he had completely forgotten that tonight was annabeth's first time as team captain. this entire week, she had been prepping a winning strategy. it wasn’t like annabeth needed him to win, but luke was her big brother, and he should have been there. you were right — he had let her down. 
the realization made luke’s day go from bad to worse. 
"i told her you were helping a new camper with an emergency. she didn't believe it, but she adjusted her strategy and we still won.”
“well, thank the gods everything worked in the end,” luke grumbled. 
“don’t thank the gods,” you quipped. “thank annabeth chase for her brilliant mind, and me for covering for your sorry ass.”
when luke didn’t indulge in your usual playful banter, you moved closer to him and brushed some curls away from his eyes. your skin warmed his forehead, and the small gesture made him feel better than he had all day.
“look, i’m not going to give you some bullshit inspirational speech about how the gods don’t get to define what a hero is, or how you don’t need a quest to prove that you’re worthy of being one. we’ve each been through that before, and i have a feeling this won’t be our last time, either.”
“then why are you here?” the question came out harsher than luke had intended it to.
“because she’s trying her best to hide it, but annabeth is really hurt that you didn’t show up for the game. i figured the least you could do is suck it up, come to the campfire, and make her those signature luke castellan s’mores. you could probably use one, too, since you haven’t eaten anything since breakfast.” 
you were right, again. luke was exhausted, he was furious, but most of all, he was starving.  
later that night, luke sat next to annabeth and vowed to make her as many s’mores as she wanted. you’d gone to sit with the hephaestus kids, trying to convince beckendorf and nyssa to join your cabin’s post-campfire party at the beach, even though they had to work in the forges early the next morning. 
when chiron made his weekly speech, congratulating the winners of capture the flag and thanking the gods for keeping everyone safe, you and luke caught each other’s gaze from across the fire. you rolled your eyes and luke bit back a smile as you turned back to beckendorf. he noticed your knees were practically touching. did you sit that close to everyone? 
luke was looking at you for so long that the marshmallow he was roasting fell into the fire, despite annabeth’s warnings. she handed him another one. 
"you should tell her how you feel," annabeth said. "stop being a coward." 
whether it was the smell of burnt sugar, the heat of the fire, or annabeth’s comment, luke started to feel dizzy. he did his best to shake it off, asking annabeth for a play-by-play of her strategy earlier that night, but he couldn’t quite get rid of the thought of you. 
(iii. you don't care if your clothes are stained with blood)
“i just….i can’t fucking believe you, luke.”
“i don’t get why you’re so upset — you’ve never cared about quests before.”
luke was hoping to break the news to you after capture the flag. unfortunately for him, word travels fast around camp. 
annabeth had the two of you scouting the east side for the flag, while she and some other athena kids took the west. you hadn’t found anything so far, which meant that you’d spent the better part of an hour bickering over luke’s choice of companions for his quest. a choice that included charles beckendorf and chris rodriguez, and purposefully did not include you, much to your fury.  
before you could continue arguing, luke heard the sound of footsteps approaching. he looked over to you, and you already had your shield and sword at the ready. 
a few red defenders emerged from the trees. one charged at luke, but you stepped in so he could deal with the other two. one of his opponents went down fairly easily, but the other put up much more of a fight. metal clashed behind him as you kept fighting as well. you might not have been as skilled a swordfighter as luke, but he knew that you could hold your own, at least until he was finished with the person in front of him. 
luke parried his opponent’s strike, causing them to take a step closer. he was preparing to disarm them, just as he heard you yelp and stumble to the ground. it only took a millisecond of his attention, but it gave his opponent the opportunity to elbow him in the face. luke felt a crack upon impact, and pain radiated from his nose; he powered through. 
he had to finish this fight, and he had to do it fast. you needed him. 
his ears were ringing as he finally knocked over his opponent, kicking away their sword and keeping his foot on their chest. luke turned around to see you having turned the tides, the blade of your sword dangerously close to your opponent’s neck.
you locked eyes with luke, and you both understood — it was time to go. the two of you ran through the forest, as far away as you could before having to stop and catch your breath.
luke removed his helmet to get some air, and dropped his weapons. you did the same. you looked at him, brows furrowed.
“your nose.”
luke licked his lips, tasting blood. the triumph of winning that last fight overshadowed the ache of his potentially broken nose. in fact, he liked the image of a ruthless warrior emerging from the glory and gore of battle, that even though he did not bleed ichor like a god, he still had power. 
you, on the other hand, didn’t look impressed. instead, you stepped forward and offered the sleeve of your shirt to wipe away the blood. 
“you don’t have to —”
“i know you think you’re a badass walking around all broken and bloody, but you shouldn’t deny your admirers your pretty face,” you teased. 
it was no secret that luke had numerous admirers around camp, a fact you loved to tease him about. he was sure that you relished in how flustered that made him. all you had to call him was pretty boy, and luke could be reduced to a blushing mess. 
it was pathetic how much power you had over him.
“besides, i wouldn’t have gotten out of that last fight if you hadn’t taught me that disarming technique earlier. i owe you. it’s what we do. we take care of each other, right?”
he couldn’t argue with that.
a few moments of silence passed as you cleaned his face. something shifted as you worked, the flirtatious grin fading away. when you pulled away, your sleeve was stained a dark crimson. 
“just tell me honestly,” you finally murmured. “why don't you want me to join your quest?” 
luke was genuinely taken aback by the softness of your voice, now devoid of its usual fire. you wouldn’t meet luke’s eyes, but being that close to you, he noticed they were slightly glazed over.
he had expected you to be angry at his decision. he expected you to yell and argue and try to change his mind. luke hadn’t expected you to be so hurt. so broken. 
he hadn’t planned on it, but luke decided to tell you the truth then.
“look, karma, if you come with me, my heart wouldn’t fully be in the quest. i’d be so caught up in….well, you.”
a pause.
“is that a bad thing?”
“not usually, no.” 
you smirked a little at that, and luke’s heart skipped a beat. it also made his decision even clearer. 
“but i need to be focused for this. i need….” he let out a deep sigh. “i need to prove myself. this is my first real chance, and i can’t fuck it up.”
you met his gaze and smiled brightly at him, your signature spark of confidence returning.  
“you won’t.”
you reached a hand up to play with his necklace. luke hadn’t noticed how close you’d gotten until your fingers started tracing over those four clay beads. it made his entire body burst into flames.
“i’ve been wanting to do something for a while. and, aphrodite save me, it might be really stupid, but —”
luke took a lucky guess as to where you were going, and crashed his lips against yours. aphrodite knows that he'd been wanting to do that for a while, too. 
he often got drunk on the adrenaline of battle, the glory of winning, but nothing was quite like the rush of kissing you for the first time. 
it was messy and urgent, both of you aware that, at any moment, you could be interrupted. your noses were bumping together, teeth clacking against each other. the metallic tang of blood lingered on luke’s tongue, but neither of you seemed to care. you even bit his lip slightly, as if you wanted more. armor sat heavy and cold between your chests, preventing you from getting closer. luke had never loathed the protective gear more. 
he made up for it by lodging one hand underneath your jaw, and snaking the other beneath the celestial bronze, beneath the cotton of your shirt, admiring how your pulse quickened under his thumb when he grazed the soft skin of your stomach. you tangled your hands into his hair, nails scraping against his scalp. he groaned and felt you smirk against his lips. 
luke had kissed a few people before, sure, but never like this: like a knife to the gut, and if you pulled away, luke would surely bleed out and die. 
it wouldn’t be a hero’s death, in the traditional sense, but at least he’d die happy. 
how many heroes could claim that?
when luke ran out of air, feeling like his lungs were burning, he had to pull away. 
you glanced down at luke’s kiss-bitten lips, then back to his eyes. luke flushed under the intensity of your gaze. 
“just promise me something, tiger,” you whispered, voice hoarse. 
“anything.”
“come back alive.”
luke leaned forward and placed another kiss on your lips, this one much gentler than before.
“i promise.”
(iv. you love like a scar that won't fade)
the nightmares were getting worse. 
luke woke up in a cold sweat, taking gulps of air in an attempt to steady his breathing.
“luke.” 
your whisper did little to quell the pit of dread growing in his stomach, but it did enough to bring him back down to reality. 
he was at camp half-blood (fuck the gods of olympus), in the hermes cabin (fuck you, dad), in a bed next to yours (fuck, if he could tell you what — who — was going through his head, he would).
“i’m…i’m fine,” he murmured back, voice catching slightly on the lie. 
like clockwork, you shifted from your bed to his, slipping under the covers. it didn’t matter that it was a hot summer night, and the minute your legs touched his, he could feel himself starting to overheat. 
your thumb brushed over the thick edge of his scar, up his cheekbone to the corner of his eye. it had been a year, living with this reminder. a reminder that he had failed, just as much as his father and the olympians had failed him. 
luke tried to pretend that he didn’t come back from his quest as a shell of who he once was. after all, it was meant to be his shining moment as a demigod, meant to gain him all the glory and father’s praise he once wished for. 
what a fucking joke.
every morning, luke would crawl into a different skin. he welcomed new campers and taught sword-fighting. he laughed with chris and his other siblings and strategized with annabeth for capture the flag. he would be the easy-going, charming, skillful senior counselor who respected the gods and honored them in everything he did. 
again: a fucking joke.
nights were different, though, with you so close to him, you who could always see right through him.
every night, luke was a fourteen-year old boy again, with so much rage and resentment he didn't know what to do with it. 
of course, you were always you - a bleeding heart underneath layers of armor. you didn't care about fate, or the gods, or the titans. you cared about justice, you cared about what was right and fair. 
most of all, you cared about luke.
“you were screaming,” you told him, voice barely cutting through the soft snores and sleeptalkings of your other cabinmates. 
“sorry,” he managed. looking at you in the dull moonlight, luke noticed the deep shadows under your eyes. 
“it’s fine. you just….you scared me, tiger.” 
your hand still rested on his cheek, and for a second, luke hoped you would kiss him, but you didn’t. instead, you told him to try and get some sleep, and sank further into his bed before closing your eyes. 
for the hundredth night in a row, luke hoped you couldn’t hear his heart hammering in his chest as you fell asleep next to him.
since coming back from his quest, luke didn’t have it in him to suggest being anything other than friends, and you didn’t push it. there had been a few....moments between you, sure, but nothing more.
luke thought you might have changed your mind, because who would want to be with a bitter, worthless, wannabe hero? then again, that voice haunting his dreams…. luke could change that. 
but, at what cost?
(v. you protect people as ruthlessly as a starving dog)
luke could hear you talking to percy jackson outside. though he couldn’t quite determine what was being said, as much as he tried.
you entered the bathroom and instantly caught luke’s eyes in the mirror. you were wearing your faded pyjama shorts with cartoon crows, and a flannel shirt that luke had a sneaking suspicion might have been his. you smiled at him before setting up at the counter, one sink between you. 
“what was that about?” luke asked after spitting out a mouthful of minty toothpaste.
“oh, nothing.” you were searching through your toiletry bag for something, and seemed to come up short. “hey, do you have any extra dental floss?”
luke threw some over to you. as you effortlessly caught it, he noticed your knuckles, bruised and bloodied.
“what happened?” 
you finished flossing and briefly examined your hands before pulling out your toothbrush. 
“it’s not a big deal,” you assured. “some ares kids were picking on percy, and then they started pushing him around, like, really pushing him around, so….” 
“....you decided to send them to the infirmary.”
you squeezed some toothpaste on your brush before continuing. “i don’t need you to lecture me about how i shouldn’t be fighting with other campers because i’ve been here longer and i should be a good role model. you know what a good role model does? not let kids beat up other kids and think the worst punishment they’ll get is no dessert for a week.”
luke watched carefully as you jammed the toothbrush in your mouth and brushed with such force, he was worried your teeth might dislodge. he knew that you would shed blood for someone you loved, and that you didn’t particularly care if you had to break rules in doing so, because you believed that what was written was not necessarily what was right. 
in fact, luke loved that about you.
no, it wasn’t the fighting that luke cared about — it was who you were fighting for. 
percy was a good kid, he really was. luke just didn’t want you getting attached. 
“i wasn’t going to lecture you. i’m guessing chiron already did?” 
you nodded and spat out what looked like a combination of toothpaste and blood. you rinsed your mouth until the water lost its pinkish hue. once you were done, luke continued his train of thought.
“i just didn’t realize you cared so much about him.”
“about percy?” 
luke could tell that he didn’t have your full attention. you were packing your stuff back up, accidentally tossing luke’s dental floss into your bag, but he had more pressing matters to deal with.
“yeah. the kid’s only been at camp for three days, and you’re already acting like his guard dog.”
you finally turned to luke and glared at him. 
“maybe. but percy’s sweet and he doesn’t seem like the type to put up with bullshit. he’s been through a lot, and annabeth seems to like him, too. as far as i’m concerned, percy’s one of us, and i’m not going to let anyone push him around.”
luke raised an eyebrow at you. “he’s sweet?”
“yeah. like, just now, he gave me some blue raspberry jelly beans as a thank you. said his mom used to work at a candy store. he also wanted me to apologize to you for him. he feels bad about beating you in sword-fighting earlier.” 
you scoffed, like you resented luke for having to apologize to him on percy’s behalf. you definitely did not appreciate that guard dog comment. luke clenched his jaw, seething over what you had just said. 
satisfied with his reaction, you gave luke that nauseating smile of yours, tilted your head towards the exit. a truce, because you never liked to fight with luke for too long, and a order, because you knew luke would always follow. 
the two of you began walking back to your cabin in the warm mid-june air. 
“i wouldn’t say he beat me,” luke huffed. “it was beginner’s luck.”
“sure, tiger. it was beginner’s luck that disarmed the best swordsman we’ve had in the last 300 years.”
you nudged luke’s shoulder with yours, but he recoiled from your touch. 
“are you trying to make me feel worse?” luke tried his best to avoid snapping at you, keeping his tone measured.
“i’m just saying that maybe the kid has natural talent and that doesn’t make you any less talented. there’s no need to get jealous.”
luke resisted the urge to growl at your suggestion. 
to be clear, he was not jealous. it’s just that luke had spent years of blood, sweat, and tears getting to where he was then, and percy jackson had just gotten to camp. 
and, to be even more clear, luke was not jealous of how you were already defending percy with your whole body and your whole heart, the way you did for him. 
by then, you reached the front of the hermes cabin. luke could already hear the commotion of what he would need to deal with as soon as he walked in. the burden of being head counselor, one he approached with an elastic smile that could snap at any moment. 
you tugged on luke’s sleeve before he could open the door. 
“hey. are we okay?”
luke looked down at your fingers grasping the fabric of a sweatshirt he was just realizing was yours. your nails were painted a dark red, now chipped after a week of wear. you had begged luke to paint his nails then, and once again, he gave in. he even started to like the purple you had chosen just for him, so deep it was almost black. the same color you were wearing the first time you and luke met.
he smiled at the memory — a real smile, no plastic — and then smiled back up at you.
“we’re fine, karma.” and he moved to enter the cabin. luke could hear the threat of an argument bubbling up, what sounded like a petty one over a prank gone wrong.
“wait.” you tugged at his (your) sweatshirt once more. “there’s something i wanted to talk to you about, about tomorrow night—”
“annabeth called a meeting during free time.”
“yeah, i know, it’s just —”
“she’ll run through strategy for capture the flag then.”
“one of the aphrodite senior campers asked me to the campfire,” you blurted it out, and luke decided to ignore the sound of a fight breaking out from behind the wooden door.
what in the name of hades were you talking about?
“they asked you out? like…like a….” luke didn’t even want to speak the word, scared it would make it real.
“a date,” you said casually, as if that one word didn’t rip luke’s heart in a million pieces. “i said yes.” an admission that took all those pieces and set them on fire. 
sure, in the seven years since you and luke met, you’d each talked about boys, about girls, about dating and kissing them and going further. but there was something about this one that felt different. something about the way you told him.
“but, listen, i wanted to let you know it’s not —”
“good for you,” was all luke said through gritted teeth before someone started calling his name again, louder and more urgently, and he had to duck inside.  
(vi. you taste like burning cherries and righteous anger)
your team had won capture the flag, of course. the biggest news of the evening, though: percy jackson was the son of the sea god. 
he was a forbidden child, the hero of the great prophecy. 
everything was falling into place. 
all luke should be thinking about is kronos’ plan, and his role in it, and how a world without the gods of olympus was that much more in reach.  
unfortunately, for the time being, he was so consumed by you. 
you, from across the campfire, sporting cutoff denim shorts and fresh wounds from the game earlier. you, who had wrapped your knuckles in gauze, concealing their bruising, fixed the chips in your nail polish and stacked rings on your fingers. (for the record: luke had gifted you the one on your left thumb.) you, with dark lips that whispered too closely and laughed too loudly with a child of aphrodite— jordan li.
you hadn’t so much as looked at luke since congratulating each other on another win. when chiron announced his weekly gratitude to the gods at the start of that night’s campfire, you didn’t punctuate your resentment with your usual eye-roll or biting remark. you were too busy giggling at something jordan said.
luke wanted to be the one to whisper jokes in your ear. he wanted to be the one you left lipstick stains on later, along his jaw and down his neck. he wanted to be the one who kissed the blade mark on your shoulder and the bruises on your knuckles. 
and yet, hours passed and it seemed that the thought of luke had never so much as crossed your mind. he found himself at an after hours party with a few senior campers on the beach. a lethal recipe: a poorly crafted bonfire, some contraband drinks and you in jordan li’s lap, playing with their hair and pretending luke castellan did not exist. 
meanwhile, luke had katie gardner’s full attention. she was talking to him about the strawberry season, potentially leaning a bit too close into luke’s personal space, definitely flirting with him. 
luke could have done a lot worse than the head counselor of the demeter cabin, who always smelled like fresh lavender, whose eyes were the bright green of spring grass and whose lips tasted like golden honey. 
the problem was that luke only wanted you, and his eyes kept sliding over to where you were kissing jordan’s cheek, and he accidentally called the girl he was kissing by your name, which did not make her happy. 
katie threw her drink in his face, told him to wake the fuck up, and walked away.
a chorus of gasps and chuckles erupted as luke stood there, diet coke and vodka seeping into his shirt. the commotion seemed to capture your attention, because you suddenly appeared next to luke, an empty bottle of cherry soda in your hand.
“rough night, tiger?” your voice, that nickname, made luke sick, his face twisting into a frown. you don’t seem to notice or care. instead, you switched your bottle with luke’s and took a sip.
“looks like you were having a pretty good time,” luke practically sneered. “where’s your date?” 
 “they went to bed.” you swallowed a mouthful of beer, grimacing at its bitterness. “gods, this is terrible. you and i should go on the drink run next time — we have better taste.”
“so, are you and jordan like a thing now?”
you gave luke a smile he didn’t quite understand, but made his stomach churn in ways only you could. “would that be a problem?”
“of course not.” he answered way too quickly for that to be true. 
“let’s get out of here,” you suggested. “i think katie is about this close to strangling you with a tree branch.”
luke glanced over your shoulder to where green eyes glared back at him. 
nowhere could luke find it in him to care. he wasn’t even sorry. he just shrugged, took the bottle back from you, took his first sip all night. luke almost gagged (because of course you were right, and the stoll brothers had better fake ids than they had taste) but he suppressed it. 
“no. i’m good.”
biggest lie he ever said. like there wasn’t anger caught in his throat and jealousy swelling between his ribs.
“go find jordan,” he taunted. “kiss them, show them a good time! isn’t that the reason why you got all pretty?”
you narrowed your eyes at him carefully. your nostrils were slightly flared, and luke took a bit of pride in being able to rile you up.
“look, we haven’t really talked lately, and i think we should.”
“go find jordan,” he mocked once more. “almost all the aphrodite kids are here, and i’m sure you can be quiet enough to sneak into their cabin and if you want a quick fu—”
“luke.” you clipped his name, obviously getting to the limit of your patience with him. “if you want to stay here all night and be an asshole, you’re welcome to. you should know, though, that your happy-go-lucky hero mask is starting to crack and i don’t know if you could deal with the fallout from it shattering completely.”
you leaned in close and whispered that last part, very aware of the chattering that stopped and the eyes that watched the pair of you anxiously. luke was usually good at hiding that part of himself who wanted to burn the world down. 
in ways you didn’t realize, you were right: he couldn’t risk revealing it, not now.
not yet. 
“do whatever you want, castellan,” you spat out his last name, the combination of letters foreign in your mouth.“i’m leaving.”
luke should be proud of himself. he waited a whole two seconds before following you like a stray dog. 
luke didn’t know if he’d ever felt you that enraged by him, and it horrified him. it also made him hungry for more. 
“i’m not sure that jordan would want the two of us alone together at night,” he shouted after you, words echoing into the starless sky.
“gods, enough about jordan!” luke practically ran into you with how fast you turned around to confront him. “i was helping them with that stupid aphrodite tradition!”
“you….” luke faltered, all the snark leaving his body. “what?”
luke remembered silena beauregard once explaining the rite of passage to him: to prove themselves, a child of aphrodite had to make someone fall in love with them, and then break their heart.
“why…why would you agree to do that?”
you had reached the dining area by then, and you sat on one of the steps leading to the pavilion. luke stayed a few feet away, looking at you cautiously. 
“jordan and i are already friends, and they figured a fake relationship would be the way to avoid anyone from actually getting hurt in the process.”
“you seemed so…so into it, though,” luke stammered, the memory of you in jordan’s lap, laughter bubbling from your lips, still fresh.
“it’s called acting, dumbass.” the camp didn’t rely on electricity, but there were enough torches around that luke could see you roll your eyes. “anyways, i was trying to give you a heads-up last night, but you wouldn’t listen.” you took a deep breath. “and, honestly, i didn’t push it because….i figured i should test a hypothesis.”
a hypothesis? you’d known annabeth for too long.
“what hypothesis?”
you hesitated. 
“it doesn’t matter. fuck, this was stupid,” you muttered, and without another word, stormed through the dining pavilion, a short cut to the hermes cabin. your footsteps fell heavy against the marble, and luke’s not far behind. 
“what hypothesis?” he asked again.
nothing but rushed footsteps.
“what hypothesis?” luke finally yelled.
third time was the charm, because you stopped in your tracks and faced luke once again. a fire burned in the bronze brazier, where campers were forced to offer up portions of your food to the gods at every meal. its roaring seemed to captivate you, and the flames danced across your face, illuminating all your curves and edges.
“i’m angry at the gods,” you stated. 
this caught luke off guard. from the day the two of you met, luke knew you shared that feeling. you’d gotten quieter with your rage as you’d gotten older. luke supposed he got better at hiding it himself, as well. 
“i’m angry at the gods for letting bad shit happen even if they can stop it, and for building this world in the fucked up way they did. i’m angry at your dad for the way he’s treated you, but — you, luke castellan.” you finally met luke’s eyes with a gaze so sharp, luke almost felt himself bleed. “i’m also angry at you, and not just for your bullshit tonight.” 
your admission felt like a punch to the stomach, and luke was left with no air to breathe.
did you know?
“you haven’t been the same since your quest,” you continued, words slow and deliberate, the way you spoke when you were worried your voice would shake. “and i’ve come to terms with that in the past few years, but you….you’ve never tried to ice me out before. you’ve been acting distant since december, and it’s been driving me insane. do you realize how much i miss my best …..” you swallowed the word friend. “how much i miss you?”
luke hesitated, because what could he say? i know i’ve been distant, but i’ve been busy trying to start a war between the gods. sorry babe! 
would you hate him, if you knew? 
you had to have known that, despite the distance, luke missed you. for tartarus sake, in the last two days, he’d driven himself mad at you calling a fourteen year old boy sweet, and he was about to combust at the image of you dating someone else, with little care as to the collateral damage. 
"you can't just avoid me, makeout with katie fucking gardner, and then….” you trailed off, hiding your face in your hands. whether it was to hide embarrassment or tears, luke wasn’t sure.
a smirk spread across luke’s face at the revelation that he hadn’t been the only one jealous at the bonfire that night. it lit luke up with the confidence he needed to not completely fall to his knees in front of you, beg for your forgiveness for everything he’s done.
“why do you care if i make out with katie fucking gardner?” 
as he waited for a response, luke walked towards you until your back hit one of the marble columns. 
“why do you care if i’m with jordan fucking li?” you clenched your jaw and looked right through luke. a clear indication that you wanted him to break down first; it wouldn’t be you who yielded this fight.
“because i want to be the one you’re with.” at that point, luke was so close to you that he swore he could hear your heartbeat. he reached out and played with the hem of your shorts. “why do you care if i make out with katie gardner?”
“because.” you drew in a sharp breath when luke’s fingers brushed underneath the denim, across the warm skin of your thigh. you closed your eyes. “don’t make me say it, tiger.” 
the desperation in your voice made luke want to do unholy things with you, to you. luke knew you didn’t think of him as a saint, and you never expected him to be one. the reality was that you weren’t much better, either. what was essentially an altar to the gods burned bright next to you, but it seemed neither of you had ever cared less about it than in that moment. 
luke would watch olympus fall. he would dethrone the gods and watch their glass castle shatter and find glory in a new world. in the grand scheme of things, he was willing to lose this battle.
in fact, he would have rather betrayed the titan lord himself than waste another second not kissing your lips. 
so, he kissed you, and you kissed him back with such force, such hunger, it was ungodly.
no, you certainly weren’t a saint — but you were divine, in the most brutal, intoxicating way. in the way you shuddered when luke lodged a leg between your thighs; in the way you threaded your fingers through the belt loops of his jeans to bring him closer; in the way the metal of your rings burned through the skin of his hip, right to the bone, which made him shudder, and you smile triumphantly against his jaw.
the more he tasted your smirk flavored by cherry soda and the ashes of nearby flames, the more he felt your feral teeth against his neck and your wicked nails digging into his shoulders, the more you tugged on his curls, the more luke thought: maybe. 
maybe you would give into your seething resentment, live up to those eye-rolls and snarky comments that got you in trouble with chiron, on the edge of hot water with the gods. maybe you would join the titan army. maybe, just maybe, this time, you would follow luke.
and yet — maybe wasn’t enough if it meant he could lose this. luke wouldn’t risk it, not until he kissed every battle scar and bruise on your body, and you did the same to his. 
“wait.”
it was the last thing luke wanted to do, but he complied. he took the opportunity to appreciate the chaos he created: your shirt in disarray, your lipstick a mess, your chest heaving and desperate to catch a breath. 
“i promised jordan that we’d keep up our charade for a week, two at the most. do you think we could keep this…” you tightened your fist around the fabric of his shirt. “a secret until then?”
luke responded by pressing his lips to yours once more, because there were definitely worse secrets to keep.
(vii. you wouldn’t hesitate to make him bleed)
luke had just left percy jackson to die.
he should be leaving camp, now, but he needed to see you one last time. 
the universe works in mysterious ways, because you were out on a run through the forest, and you crossed paths before he even had time to wonder where you were.
“hey, tiger.” you smiled as if this was a regular afternoon. the two of you would teach your afternoon activities, sneak away during dinner so luke could kiss you in that spot that made you gasp. “wanna join me? i was just wrapping up, but i could be convinced to go longer.”
for a second, he was tempted to. very tempted. 
“i don’t have much time.”
you seemed to notice luke’s sullen mood and you dropped your playful demeanor. 
luke explained: the messages from kronos in his dreams, him stealing the lightning bolt and helm of darkness to start a war between the gods and framing percy. the plan to destroy olympus that luke had pledged his life to.
percy was surprised at what luke had done, and luke could imagine that the rest of camp would be, too. luke was the golden boy of camp half-blood, everyone’s big brother. 
you, on the other hand, didn’t express any sense of shock. 
“luke.” you said his name like you weren’t quite sure it was poison. “i’m going to give you five seconds to tell me that you’re joking.”
five seconds of silence passed. you took a few steps back from luke.
“i….i should have told you sooner.”
“yeah,” you scoffed. “you should have. but, you didn’t. did it feel good, having the titan king whispering sweet nothings in your ear? all the lies about how this war is the only way to get the glory you so desperately want? it’s fucking delusional.” 
“it’s not delusional—”
“yes, it is!” you glared at him. “you’re on the wrong side of a war you made the mistake of starting.”
luke straightened his posture, thinking about how hypocritical you were being. 
“isn’t this what you’re all about? revenge, karma. your mom will probably join us, too. don’t you want to see the gods finally get what they deserve?”
“not like this. i can’t believe how desperate you are, to believe that kronos is going to make everything right. it’s pathetic,” you spat. “i’m not saying the gods don’t deserve to be taken down a notch. their fucking obsession with power and glory….it’s sick and twisted, but i don’t think your titan king is any better. i don’t think you are any better.” 
“it’s time that the gods fall. this is the only way, even if it isn’t perfect,” luke countered. his voice was firmer now as he absorbed your anger. your mother was the goddess of revenge, but you clearly didn't understand the sacrifices, pain, and blood that was required to make the world a better place.  
luke just needed to convince you.
“we’ve talked about this for years,” he continued. “nothing is balanced! there’s no justice here, for anyone.  we can build a better world where we don’t have to burn our scraps and throw ourselves at monsters to get attention. we can fight together like we always have. y/n, i love—”
“don’t,” you snapped. “don’t you fucking dare. you should have died on your quest.” your voice laced with venom. one hand gripping the knife you always kept on your belt. “that dragon should have fucking sliced through you and saved us all the trouble.”
something pricked in the back of his throat, down to his stomach.
“you don’t mean that.”
“i do,” you promised. “at least you would have died with all of us thinking you’re a hero instead of the traitor you really are.”
you grabbed your knife, took a fighting stance. 
“i’m not going to fight you,” was all luke could say. he noticed your hand tremble, and you tightened the grip on your knife to prevent emotion from slipping through your invisible armor. 
in that moment, you have could slice through luke, and it would hurt less than everything you just said, less than the murderous look you were giving him, like he was just another monster you wouldn’t think twice about sending to tartarus.
luke didn’t even have a chance to unsheathe his sword before you charged at him, but he quickly had you pinned to the ground, the tip of your own knife pointed at you. he hesitated. the blade pressed harder against your cheek than he intended, enough to break the skin and let a few droplets of dark crimson escape. 
“please come with me,” he pleaded. you didn’t answer, but you did seem surprised by the softness of his voice. 
a few moments passed, the celestial bronze still between you. luke waited for you to see his way, to yield to his proposal.
you didn’t. instead, you took advantage of the situation. you wrapped your leg around his and flipped your position. in the process, you regained possession of your knife. without the hesitation that held luke back, you sliced through his cheek, deep. luke bit his lip to suppress a groan, tasting blood. your gaze set his whole body on fire as he waited for your next move. that was when you glanced down at his camp necklace, and the new clay bead added to commemorate this summer.
a turquoise trident.
“percy told me he was on his way to see you,” you realized. “what did you do?”
luke didn’t answer. he knew then that a choice ran through your head. 
and it stung, just a little, watching you sprint away through the trees in a last ditch effort to save percy’s life. 
there was a small, pathetic part of luke that wanted you to choose him, even if it meant you would have plunged the knife into his chest.
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palajae · 1 month
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my name. | nishimura riki
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PAIRING ▸ nishimura riki! x reader
GENRE ▸ detective! au, fantasy! au, high school! au, s2ls, romance, fluff, angst, humor, SLOW BURN
WC ▸ 15.6k
SUMMARY ▸ you supposedly get transported to a different world, where you encounter niki. apparently, you already existed here. note: past tense. so now you’re stuck in an alternate universe and technically, you’re supposed to be dead. 
AKA after facing the truth, you come to the realization that someone was definitely trying to kill you.
AN/NOTES ▸ mentions of death!!!, a murder mystery/whodunit, profanity, mentions of suicide, depictions of murder, a few curse words, violence, blood, dead bodies, some gorey stuff, kissing, nothing too harsh, excuse any typos/misspellings...
wow... i can't believe it but it is finally out... it's been a long time coming lol. with losing several family members and hospital visits over the past year, i wasn't sure if this was ever going to get released. thank you all for your endless (fr) patience and support. happy reading ❤️
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a faceless figure stretches out a hand towards you.
you squint but for some reason, you still can’t make them out. the longer you stare, the more you realize it was a person—a blurry vision of a faceless boy. considering the matching uniform to yours, he must’ve gone to your school …was he your classmate? 
you frown. you’ve never seen anyone like him in class before. you stretch out your arm, fingertips barely grazing his- 
the sound of the school bell ringing causes your eyelids to fly open.  you groan, yawning and getting up from your seat by the window by default. 
it wasn’t a nice nap—just one that left you feeling groggy, unsettled, and strangely incomplete. 
you pack up your stuff quietly and leave the classroom alone, not bothering to look for your friends. as you walk down the stairs, you hear your classmates chattering about the weather.you glance outside. 
it was a dreary, unwelcoming kind of rain—part of the reason why you fell asleep earlier in class—and you suddenly feel the urge to get home. as soon as possible. 
you weren’t sure why, but it wasn’t just raining. it started to pour, especially hard, on this spring day. you want to think that was what made your mood all miserable and forlorn. 
not to forget the fact that you didn’t have an umbrella, leaving you no other choice but to throw your hood on and tighten the strings of your hoodie over your school uniform. not exactly the most stylish look, yet it was comfortable enough for you. 
you couldn’t put a finger on the emotion, but you felt out of place, like for some weird reason… you didn’t belong here. like you belonged out of this circle, away from this life and world. 
that feeling always came up when it started to rain, and you always tried your best to suppress it. but it was particularly strong today. 
you shrugged it off though. those “phases” weren’t uncommon, right? 
though you made it halfway out the school grounds by yourself, hyein and hanni catch up to you as you walk. you give them a half-hearted smile, “hey.”
it doesn’t take much for them to notice your off behavior. hyein eyes you. 
“you okay, y/n?” 
you debate internally, reminding yourself that they’re your friends. you can trust them, rely on them. you’re allowed to do that. even more so, aren’t you supposed to do that? 
but the words that come out of your mouth suggest otherwise. you shrug, “it’s nothing. it’s just been a weird day, you know?”
they share a glance before turning back to you, sympathetic smiles on their faces. hanni pats you on the shoulder, “yeah, we get it. you should get some rest at home, y/n. we’ll see you tomorrow, okay?”
“be careful on the way back! the rain doesn’t look like it’s stopping soon.” she calls out before they continue, leaving you behind—still as soaked as ever. 
you wave before sighing, gripping the straps of your backpack tighter and making your way towards the train station. the sound of the rain almost makes you fall into a daze as you go about your way. all your school stuff and clothes were definitely getting soaked, which probably meant an oncoming cold, but you could’ve cared less. 
the only thing that mattered was going home and sleeping off this weird feeling, so it could become tomorrow and you didn’t have to be in this situation anymore. 
the train station is strangely busy, you figure the downpour was making everyone go home sooner. you bypass several people, almost getting your soaked and stained shoes stepped on several times. all while muttering quiet “excuse me’s” to practically everyone and anyone who cared to listen. 
after what seemed like ages, you manage to make it to your train.  although, the large crowd surrounding the entrance effectively prevents you from getting anywhere. 
you mutter a curse, trying to navigate through the waves of people. you just barely get on before the doors begin closing. letting out a huff in relief, you lean back against the door and slowing yourself a moment to close your eyes in peace. all the seats were obviously taken at that point, so you had no choice but to stand. that’s fine—you end up drifting off anyway. 
you don’t know how long it’s been since you fell asleep. or why you feel even more exhausted when you wake up. but the robotic voice announcing your arrival makes your eyes automatically flutter open. you feel your body getting pushed and shoved around as everyone tries to get out all at once. 
so you grit your teeth and tug down your hood further until you can finally get out. you don’t pay much attention to your surroundings, too focused on not getting knocked to the ground. when you finally stumble out of the crowd onto the station platform, you try to collect yourself while shaking your head. then you frown, 
wait a second-
something solid knocks into you from the side, a rough oof! escaping out of their--mouth?
you’re knocked onto the ground, bottom first. pain shoots into your palms that tried (and failed) to catch your fall—and obviously, your butt as well. 
you groan, eyes flashing in annoyance at your unknown assailant. looking up, you stop at the sight of the… boy in front of you. 
you really have no idea why, but a question immediately pops into your head—
have you met before?
you don’t voice it, but it lingers in the back of your mind. the boy—as far as you can tell, he looks around your age— simply stares at you. he’s in a strikingly similar uniform. 
a flicker of recognition passes in his eyes before you watch his expression grow flabbergasted. he continues to stare at you for a solid minute, while you only stare back in confusion, still on the floor.
“it’s rude to stare, you know.” you finally state with a furrowed brow as you quickly gathering your bearings. 
his only response is a blink.  
it's like the two of you are frozen in time, everyone else getting drowned out in the moment. 
you frown, narrowing your eyes at him. “hello? did you hear me?” you repeat yourself and this time he snaps out of it. 
“y-you’re not supposed to be here.” he gets out shakily, looking around while his hand runs through his dark locks in distress. you cross your arms, “what do you mean? this is my stop…” 
you falter when you remember what you saw earlier. when you got off the train, you took a quick glance at the signs and posts. yeah, this definitely wasn’t your stop. 
that wouldn’t have been a huge issue- if it wasn’t for the fact that you never missed your station, no matter the circumstances.  
“no!” he exclaims and you flinch at the outburst. the boy glances at you again, and this time you involuntarily shiver at the unreadable look in his eyes. 
“you’re…. you’re supposed to be dead.”
your mouth drops open. 
“what a great first thing to say to someone you just bowled over. not even a sorry..” you mutter off, suddenly finding the strength to get up and wipe your hands. 
the boy takes a step back away from you. curiously, you take one forward, towards him. he gestures a hand at you almost aggressively. 
“you’re dead. you died. i swear-“
you hold out your hands in half desperation and half exasperation, “i dunno if this is some dumb prank or something i missed, but i hate to break it to you. i’m not dead. i’m literally right here in front of you. i think i would know if i died or not. i’m-” 
again, that feeling of being out of place washes over you. this time it steals your breath away. 
the strange boy shakes his head. “there’s no way. i know exactly who you look like.”
his next words make your blood run cold. 
“you’re exactly like y/n y/l/n—who died a week ago.” he looks you up and down again, hands curling into fists. 
“who are you? and why do you look just-?”
“because that’s who i am? my name is y/n! now, if you would excuse me.”  
you hold up a hand, you didn’t have the time or patience to deal with weirdos on the street. it did struck a little odd that he knew your name, but then again he must’ve gone to your school and heard of you somewhere. the only thing that unsettled you was his reaction. 
it just seemed too real, like he couldn’t have been that good at acting. 
he grabs your arm to prevent you from leaving. all he does is shake his head again like he’s just trying to reassure himself. you’re about to protest, so utterly confused at what’s happening-how you missed your stop and why this strange boy is saying that you’re dead. none of it makes sense. 
his face looks pale and grim, and you’re sure yours look exactly the same. “you can’t be y/n. and yet, here you are right in front of me.” 
“i will scream like a little girl for help if you don’t let me go at this-“
“p-please. this isn’t a joke. you can’t be here. we need to get out of here—where everyone can’t see you.” 
before you can even splutter a response, he drags you off. 
you can call me niki, his words echo in your head. 
his name rolls off your tongue unfamiliarly. in his states of panic—to which niki kept slapping himself and you kept denying that you were a hallucination—
you ended up introducing yourselves and deciding to find a better place to discuss. more like, niki decided. you soon began to regret that decision. 
all you wanted to do was go home, but this persistent kid you’ve never seen before wouldn’t let you or your conscience go. maybe it was the weird feeling from earlier, but you have the urge to at least hear him out. but when you walked out of that train station behind him, everything was wrong. 
you don’t know how to describe it. it was right but… at the same time, it wasn’t. 
to begin with, you ended up at the wrong station but it led you to the right street to get home. the streets name were the same, but the stores weren’t. 
and the bus stop—the bus driver that had worked there for fifteen years, the one you had greeted for fifteen years, suddenly became an entirely different person. he never missed a day, no matter what occasion it was. 
things weren’t right and you had no idea what was going on. 
following niki, you get lost in your thoughts. you shake your head, clapping a hand over your forehead. maybe… you’re just in a weird dream. a really realistic one, because none of this made sense. it wasn’t raining anymore either, which would’ve been fine, excluding for one tiny detail: the streets were completely dry. judging by the strength of the rain earlier, it really shouldn’t—no, it couldn’t have dried up that fast. 
It wasn’t physically possible. 
you could easily navigate your way around this area because you lived here all your life. and yet, it felt like you didn’t live here. not when this random stranger (only on a first name basis) keeps insisting that you died. 
niki—or whoever—leads you to a very familiar library, the same one where you spent hours studying for your finals. you head in, feeling a bit better hearing the familiar entrance chime. you walk ahead of him to take your spot by the back corner. the fact that this place was essentially the same gave you some comfort.
niki seems surprised, but he doesn’t say anything, only taking the seat across from you. 
“okay.” you start, glancing at the boy with wary eyes. 
“if whatever bs you’re spewing is true, explain.”
he raises his eyebrows. 
“me? explain?” 
you nod and he scoffs, “i think you’re the one who should be explaining. after all, you’re the one that’s supposed to be dead-“
“i’m not dead.” you grit out, rolling your eyes. 
“okay, okay,” he raises his hands in surrender, “but you still need to talk.”
you sigh, rubbing your temples. 
“what do you want me to say? that i got soaked, took the train home, overslept, and then missed my stop? then, i bumped into a weird boy-”
he shoots you an offended look, which you ignore. 
“-who keeps telling me that i died. oh, and the more and more i stay here with you, the more wrong everything gets?” you barely get the last word out before niki leans in, eyes focused intently on you. 
the closer he gets, you more you begin to malfunction. you unconsciously hold your breath, alarm and confusion evident in your eyes. his hand reaches out, slowly, to your head. your body freezes.
his fingers catch a drop of water at the tip of your hair. “sorry. that was bothering me.” 
you exhale, glaring at him. “are you serious?”
“yeah. are you?” 
“no,” you deadpan, “i’m a ghost and i’m haunting you. of course i’m being serious!” 
he gives you an unconvinced look and you roll your eyes, “i’m y/n y/l/n. we live an hour away from the capital. my house is two blocks away in the neighborhood with the broken fountain, and right now we’re at the library that doesn’t open on thursdays.  
you harshly tug off your suddenly dry hoodie, displaying your school uniform. 
“and by the looks of it, we go to the same school.”
his eyes widen as he leans in closer to study your uniform. you shrug away, caught off guard. then you frown, “but i’ve never seen you before at school. how do i know that you’re not some imposter?  that you somehow stole a uniform to get something from me?”
he rolls his eyes while you gaze at him suspiciously.
“obviously not, because that’s dumb.” 
you scoff. 
“i live here. why would i go through all the trouble to steal a uniform to get something from you? besides, what would i need from some-“ 
he glances at you and you tense,  
“-kid like you? you’re the one who came out of the train looking so suspicious, it’s like you appeared out of nowhere,” he counters. 
you place your palms flat on the table, “okay, it’s obvious we aren’t getting anywhere. we both don’t have answers and we’re not even close to one. all i know is that i’m alive,” you shoot him another look, “and that i somehow ended up here. now, can i go?”
there’s a brief pause before niki speaks up, slowly. “i already told you, you can’t be seen. come with me. and keep the hood on.” 
you roll your eyes. who was he to boss you around? 
he grumbles something along the lines of- “don’t want to be seen walking around with a dead person.” 
the only reason you listened was partly due to fear that you would lose your way in this familiar, yet unfamiliar place.   except, you know exactly where he’s taking you. because it’s the same neighborhood you live in. 
“wait,” you call out, “this is where i live.” you point to your house, and niki grimaces. 
“i know. there were police here for days.” 
you stop, unsure of what to say or do. police? at your house? when? 
you stare at your supposed house, suddenly dark and empty. what in the world happened? 
“come on,” niki calls out and you move to catch up. you’re starting to think niki may be telling the truth. 
soon enough, you make it to an unfamiliar house about a street down from yours. as niki unlocks the door, you take the opportunity to study him, trying to recall if you’ve ever seen him before. but when he turns to you, you clear your throat and look away. 
“this is my house,” he tilts his head while opening the door. 
you like the fact that it’s messy. it felt much more homey because of that. it was also a lot bigger than yours, filled with fancy and intricate things. to which you assume this niki guy has more money than he has yet to admit. he tells you to wait in the living room, and he soon returns with a stack of books. 
you pause, “yearbooks?“
he nods, “yeah, our school’s.” 
strangely enough, most of the covers are different than yours at home. 
but everything else is the same, like the name and logo. he pulls out this year’s yearbook and flips through before stopping at a page. 
“that’s me,” he points to the picture of him and you tilt your head, frowning.
“huh. so we are in the same year. but i’ve never seen you in my yearbook—or at school before. i swear i would’ve seen you at least once before...” 
you rub your temples, this whole situation was making your head hurt. none of it made sense. you study his picture, why in the world did he actually look good in his yearbook photo? your eyes shift toward his name, 
nish—
he turns the page before you can finish reading, only to get distracted by seeing familiar classmates in your yearbook. niki stays silent as he flips through pages and you continue to point out your friends and classmates and stare in wonder at the unfamiliar ones- 
ones that you’ve never seen before in your life but somehow their faces are printed on the page, in the same grade and same school as you. 
just like niki. you were actually speechless. 
eventually, he stops flipping eventually and looks at you. you catch his eye and glance down at the page, immediately catching on. you breath hitches. 
“no way—” 
“—and there’s you.” 
it is you. you can confirm, it’s a photo of someone who looks exactly like you. but… it’s not you. 
almost everything is the same, your face and clothes. your hair was cut shorter, and your smile wider for the picture. you were even wearing makeup, for crying out loud. you can only stare at the photo. 
according to niki, this you is dead? 
you look up at him, stomach churning. what in the world was going on? 
the silence lasts until niki finally speaks up with a hesitant tone. “i might be tripping, but have you ever heard of… alternate realities?” 
you shake your head firmly, “don’t even get me started on that-“
he cuts you off, “i know, i know. but just hear me out.” 
you have no choice but to internally whisper a quiet plea of help. he scoots closer, 
“wouldn’t it make sense? there’s really no other explanation. maybe it’s because i watched that spider-man movie recently, but you being from another world would explain how you’re alive right now—when in this world, you’re dead. plus, all the similarities and differences that you mentioned can be chalked up to different timelines—the butterfly effect and stuff like that.”
you don’t know what to say. 
could it actually be?
what other explanation could there be? 
“please say something,” niki mumbles and you release a breath you didn’t even know you were holding. 
“okay. okay. fine. say the whole multiverse crap is true. then how did i even get here? how did i—” 
you do air quotations, 
“—switch dimensions to another world?” 
niki shrugs, “no idea.”
he scratches his head, “it’s weird to think about but i mean, maybe there’s a reason why you came here.”
his voice suddenly gets lower and you shiver, “you know, the timing’s a bit weird that you showed up right after the other you passed away.”
you clear your throat, “let’s not think about that right now. we should probably focus on the whole me being dead thing, right?” 
“what?” 
you glance at him questioningly, “what?”
niki raises an eyebrow. “what’s there to focus on? you died.”
you don’t have to rub it in my face, you mumble under your breath. 
“shouldn’t we be focusing on how to get you back to your world?”
you roll your eyes, “sure, but still, i kinda want to know how i died? i think i deserve to, you know, so maybe i don’t make the same dumb mistake back home.” 
“-if you ever get home,” he corrects and you huff.
“whatever, just tell me. we don’t even know if your dumb alternate reality theory is right.” 
“okay,” niki rubs his hands nervously and you wait in anticipation. 
“well, it actually happened last thursday.”
you swallow. why was your heart rate picking up? 
“at school. on, uh, the rooftop. no one witnessed it, and the cctv was broken so we don’t have any exact answers. but from what I’ve heard,” he gives you a cautious glance, 
“the police are about ready to call it a suicide.” 
at first, you think you misheard him. but the hesitant gaze and pause proves you otherwise. 
at first it doesn’t hit you. but then suddenly you feel sick to your stomach. your hand grips the table for support as you try to take it all in. 
you? 
a suicide at school? 
what about your family, your friends-
“no,” you whisper, shaking your head.  “i… i would never-“
you slam your hands on the table, “i know myself. i would never do that.”
his face is grim and sympathetic, which you can feel the dislike churn in your stomach at that. “i’m really sorry… that’s the current situation. it kinda blew up at school, but everything’s still so recent that nothing is confirmed yet.“ 
unspoken words linger in the back of his head, that he questions if he should say it or not.  
that niki really didn’t know you that well, that you were just another classmate of his. one that he passed in the halls without a second glance back. that the you in his world-
was just a stranger to him. 
yet seeing you, desperate and alive, right in front of his eyes. he doesn’t know what to do or say. so niki watches you bury your head in your hands. and he waits. 
it’s only a couple of minutes later that you look up. his face morphs into one of surprise when he sees your determined expression. 
“niki,” you state carefully and he nods, waiting patiently.
“are you sure that i-i did it?”
you can’t bring yourself to say the word but niki gets it. he sighs, 
“no. no one’s sure. but from what i’ve heard, the police haven’t found any other motives so… a suicide seemed most likely.” the more and more niki talked, the more unsure he got. 
your face hardens. 
“so there’s no proof? the police aren’t doing their freaking job and investigating?” 
his eyes widen—surprised at your sudden outburst—and you sigh, voice falling to a whisper.
“did i really commit suicide? and why do i care so much?” 
something warm falls over your hand and you jump, glancing up.
even for only a split second, his hand covers yours in a sympathetic attempt, “i’m sorry y/n. i wish i had answers but i really don’t know…”
despite the awkward look on niki’s face and overall awkward situation, his words strangely comfort you. 
you bite your bottom lip. “i-i have to get to my house.”
he stiffens, “what?” 
you stare at him, eyes sharp, “if no one else is going to do something, i at least have to.” 
you need to. for yourself. 
niki scoots closer, “y/n, you can’t just-“
“i know. but i need to know. something just-ugh,” you rub your face in frustration, “something doesn’t add up. i have to check. it’s like i can feel it deep within me.”
he sits there wordlessly. when you don’t get a response, you stand up. niki splutters, “w-where are you going?”
you cross your arms, “without or without you, i’m going to my house.” 
he slaps a hand to his face in frustration. “just how stubborn are you?” he mumbles. you hear it and yet you decide to ignore him. 
“thanks for the help i guess,” you give him a (weak) half-smile before turning towards the door 
“wait! you’re being serious?!” 
his desperate voice calls out and you internally debate if you should listen to him or not. slowly, you turn back around, “yeah. do you need something?”
“no, but you do— a plan. especially since the police closed off your house for investigation. plus, most of the evidence would have been taken already.” he clasps his hands together behind his back.
you shrug. “okay, and? i’ll still find a way. i have nothing to lose. i’m not even supposed to be alive.”
he groans loudly and you raise an eyebrow.
“idiot. i’m trying to say that i’ll help you. i-i want to help you.”
“i didn’t ask,” you raise your hands in mock surrender.  annoyed, niki puts his hands on his hips.
“sure, but i know plenty of things you don’t. this is my world. so, are you gonna accept or not?”
“you wish you did,” you retort, yet you can’t help the small smile that grows on your face, “but… i would appreciate it. just be grateful that i’m accepting your dumb theory from a spider-man movie as of right now.” 
niki gulps at the sight. it was the first time he saw you smile since you met. at least, the first smile he saw from the you of an alternate universe. 
“whatever you say,” he holds out a hand, 
“miss imposter.” 
you take it gladly, harshly.  “don’t call me that-“
“my name is y/n y/l/n.” 
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you spin around in niki’s chair, having went up to his room to figure out your so called master plan. niki (respectfully) offered to let you stay in his room for the length of your “visit.” 
to which you almost punched him. 
but he explained that there were no extra guest rooms and you were still technically dead, so hiding in his room was the best bet as to not raise any questions. you could take the makeshift bed in the corner of his room as to not raise suspicion. you were surprised yet grateful. 
“i’ll grab extra blankets and pillows. and i’ll sneak you food and whatever you need.” 
“what about clothes and toiletries?”
he yawns, “easy. i’ll steal some from my sisters.” 
you feel bad, but you realize you have no other choice. you were literally stuck here. 
a part of you still wondered if this was a dream. a horrible one, at the least. but while you were stuck here, might as well make the best of it. niki graciously offered and you had no choice but to accept. you almost scoff at the ridiculousness of the situation. 
“so basically, i’m like a secret pet you’re hiding from your parents?” 
“technically… yes,” niki rubs his hands together, and you can only watch the mischievous expression grow on his face.
“but i like to think that you’re like eleven. you’re different—you’re special, like her.”
you hold back a laugh at the words. 
clearing your throat, you try to play it off. “from stranger things? your world has that show too?” he lets out a scandalous gasp and this time you giggle. 
“of course, dude. what kind of world would i be living in if i didn’t have stranger things?” 
“apparently a horrible one,” you snort. 
after the whole living situation was sorted out, you returned to your investigation. 
“so you’re saying the police taped off my house for further examination?”
“uh, yeah? that’s how it works?” he raises a brow. 
you stuck your tongue out at him, “okay,  smartass. then how do we get in?” 
“clearly, there’s only one way: sneak in.” 
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“i don’t think this is a good idea?” niki whisper shouts at you and you shush him. 
the sun was barely setting. if anyone knew you, they knew you really couldn’t be deemed as patient of any sort. 
niki watches you struggle up the tree in your backyard. 
obviously, going through the front door was a no go. luckily this house looked pretty much the same as your house, at least from the outside. you knew your parents weren’t home judging by the darkness.  you wondered if they were staying with other family. 
or were they at work? so soon after your death? 
you grimace, now was not the time to be getting in your feelings.
the best (only) option was jumping the backyard fence and going in through your bedroom window. leading to your predicament now.  
you exhale heavily when you find a place to rest, gripping the tree with all your might in hopes that you don’t fall 
you glance down at niki. 
“can you make it?”
he scoffs,  
“easy.” 
it was easy— easy for you to watch niki struggle to get up to your point. 
you were sort of scared the tree wasn’t going to support both your weights, at the way it was trembling slightly. niki makes it though, by the time the sun is well down. 
you can see him sweating heavily and your nose scrunches in amusement,“easy, huh?”
“yeah, for you just standing there and watching me. we don’t have all day, grandma.”
“don’t call me that,” you mutter while stretching out towards your window.
niki’s eyes widen. 
“be careful, y/n.” 
“i got it,” you stretch out a leg to the ledge and your sweaty hands begin to slide from the bark, most likely from exertion. 
without even thinking about it, niki places his hands around your waist to stabilize you. you don’t notice in your concentration to not fall to your death. you certainly didn’t want another dead you. 
your foot clicks the lock, and with a grunt you’re able to push the window open. 
“you got it?” 
“yeah,” you breathe out, clumsily making your way in. you reach out a hand for niki and he takes it, maneuvering his long body in through the small window. 
finally, you can breathe. 
it’s the first time you have the luxury to desperately wish that you were home right now. your real home. you certainly didn’t mean this home, the empty and cold looking one locked up for the police’s investigation. 
after catching your breath, you get up to examine your surroundings. you weren’t not sure what you were expecting. this was the other you’s room. 
all you can think is, at least this y/n was much cleaner than you. 
a part of you feels like you’re invading someone’s privacy. but then you realize that it’s literally your own privacy that you’re invading, with the addition of niki. you actually can’t believe the absurdity of the situation. 
at first glance the room looks pretty normal, an average teenagers room.  not what you expected for yourself, but there’s not much you can see. you turn to niki,
“there’s no shot we’ll get caught right?”
he gives you another sympathetic look, “we’ll keep a look out for the police, but i heard your parents were busy with your other family and funeral preparations, so it wouldn’t be them catching us.”
“oh.”
the air feels so glum, you clear your throat to move on. “guess we should look around?”
he nods and begins to snoop around.  
“wait,” you call out hesitantly. 
niki cocks his head and you cough awkwardly.
“it’s still my room, so like, be careful with what you look through.” 
he rolls his eyes. “yeah. i got it.” 
you gaze at the photos on your shelf, displaying your happy family and friends. it just made you acknowledge how precious they were. it made you miss your friends and family at home even more.  
you’re appalled at the books you read. you shake your head, seriously? you take out one of the books-
“ten days to love,” you voice aloud with disgust written across your face. 
you weren’t one to judge, but what kind of cheesy romance novels were you reading?  
niki opens your closet and you turn at the sound. your eyes widen- 
wait a second, 
your closet with clothes? possibly including…. more personal things? 
you dash over in desperation, praying that niki hasn’t already seen something that he shouldn’t. 
“don’t!” 
his wide eyes meet your panicked ones, shocked at the sudden change of events. he doesn’t move until you push past him, blocking the door from his view. 
“you didn’t see anything, right?” you stare at niki desperately and he furrows his eyebrows. 
“no? am i not supposed-“
“no reason. just being cautious. we can, uh, open it together.”
you carefully examine your belongings inside before deeming it safe for niki’s eyes. you let out a sigh of relief.
he gives you a weird look and you shoot him an exaggerated smile. 
“you can proceed!” 
he mutters something under his breath as you continue your search on the other side of the room. it didn’t seem like there was anything of importance on the shelves. but, after careful examination, you see a glimpse of something. pushing past some folders, your face morphs into a stunned one. 
you pull out… 
a pink teddy bear with hearts? why would this be in your room? 
and even more so, why was it hidden? 
niki calls out your name and you turn around. your mouth drops open. 
“a box of chocolates?“ 
he scoffs, “yeah. stuffed behind some clothes in your closet for some reason.”
“it’s not even the good brand,” you mutter. 
niki laughs, “maybe you had secret admirers from school?” suddenly, you give him a suspicious glance. 
“what makes you say that? you sure you weren’t one of them?” 
he side eyes you, “trust me, you wouldn’t catch me within five feet of you at school.”
you walk over to shove his arm and he only laughs harder. you huff, suppressing a smile on your face as you turn away. but you keep niki’s comment in the back of your mind. 
after a solid thirty minutes, you can feel your resolve waning. there was no sign indicating that you felt suicidal. at least, none that you found after the police probably scrounged through everything. some stuff was suspicious— 
like the teddy bear and chocolates. and some lavish perfume and makeup in the drawers. that just wasn’t your style. but you supposed this world’s you was just different. 
just because you weren’t particularly into those things didn’t mean another you couldn’t be. 
“did i have a diary? what about my phone?”
niki frowns, “the police would’ve taken it. it’s their evidence now.” 
you suddenly get an idea, and it’s probably wasn’t a good one. 
“hey, niki?” you call out. he hums in response.  
“what day and time is it, currently?” 
“uh…” he checks his watch, “sunday. 8pm. why?”
“when does the police station close?”
dummy, most people would say--why would the police station be closed?
luck seemed to be on your side, because you knew especially well from complaints by locals, that your local police station did actually have a curfew. and you could only hope it was the same here.  
niki scratches his head, “in ten minutes? why are-“
his mouth drops open, “no. no. no.” you shrug and he shakes his head adamantly, “y/n, there’s no way that we’re going to sneak in.”
you dust off your hands, “i’m all ears for any other ideas you have.”
you have him at that and he falls silent. after a couple moments, he speaks up albeit hesitantly. “well… i might have a way.“
you grin. “onwards, then.”
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“wait, so how did you manage to get access again?”
he coughs, “my friend jungwon is the son of the police deputy chief… so i may have called in for a favor.”
“he managed to sneak in with his dad’s keys and get the files to my case?” you finish.
he nods. 
“illegally?”
he nods again.
you tap your chin, “would we get arrested if we got caught?” 
he shrugs, “probably.”
“good thing i’m not from this world.”
perhaps secretly hanging outside this jungwon’s house was not the best idea, either. he rolls his eyes before offering the file to you.
“do you want to open it?” to your surprise, his voice comes out quite comforting and soft. 
you gulp, “i guess i should.”
you feel sick for the second time that day. luckily, the photo didn’t show too much. not that it made it any better. it was still you, dead. 
you had to look at yourself and imagine yourself in that situation. you cover your mouth and niki immediately takes the file away from you. he watches worriedly as you shake your head.
“i’m fine. i-is there anything else your friend managed to get?”
“are you sure?”
“yes.” he doesn’t protest anymore at the tone of finality in your voice. 
niki pulls out a bag with your name on it. taking a deep breath in, you open it. you shuffle through some things hurriedly until niki speaks up.
“hold on a sec,” he softly places a hand on your arm to stop your actions.
“we should be careful. someone could notice that we tampered with the evidence so we need to be very careful when putting things back. plus, we have to give it back to him as soon as possible—we don’t want them noticing that your stuff is missing.”
you curse, “that’s right. we can’t risk taking anything.” 
“then what?” 
you pinch your nose bridge, “we snap pictures and hope it’s good enough. unless we want to take another field trip here.” 
you manage to snap a few pictures and go through a few things. you catch a glimpse of your diary and flip to the most recent page. it was about a week and a half ago, and-
it wasn’t finished. you skim through it, reading boring stuff about how your day was and how you met-
you squint.
the rest of the words were scratched out, harshly, with a black marker. seeing how it was getting late and dark, you can’t make out who’s name it was even with your phone flashlight. you wonder, could it be-
your thoughts are interrupted by niki. 
“y/n, i think we need to hurry and head home soon. the longer we stay out, the greater risk we’re at for getting caught. oh, and i found your phone.”
he holds it up and the extremely glittery case makes your eyes hurt. you eye it. heaving a deep breath, you prepare yourself to open your phone. 
but when you click the power button and nothing happens, you groan. you try again, and again, holding it down for seconds but the screen remains black.
“the phone’s dead.” you sigh again and niki bites his lip.
“maybe we should give up. we can ask jungwon another time,” he suggests
you nod wearily and he closes the box. as he gathers everything, opening his phone to text his friend to come back out, you glance at the time. it was quite late for a school day. 
“that’s right, you have school tomorrow?”
he groans, “yeah. i guess you’ll just have to stay home in my room. no one will go in while i’m at school, so you don’t have to worry.”
you nod, “okay.”
it felt weird knowing you were supposed to be at home, in bed and preparing to go to school yourself the next day. instead, you were stuck in another world—in a stranger’s room, forced to hide since you were supposed to be dead. 
were you considered missed at home? did anyone notice? call the cops? 
more like, if anyone cared? 
while you get ready for bed in niki’s bathroom, you stare at yourself in the mirror. 
yes, you affirm, you’re alive. 
you’re staring back at yourself, dressed in one of niki’s oversized shirts and basketball shorts. 
but the image of your dead face flashes in your mind and you immediately squeeze your eyes shut. you breathe heavily, hands planted on the sides of the sink. 
everything’s fine. you will get back home. things will figure themselves out. you’re okay. you’re breathing and-
a knock on the door makes you jump.
“y/n? everything okay?” niki’s voice sounds out hesitantly, “it seemed like you were taking a while so-“
the door swings open.
you stand there, face emotionless. he doesn’t say anything, and neither do you. niki tries to keep the image of you wearing his clothes out of his head, but it won’t seem to go away.
“goodnight, niki.” 
you slowly walk over to the temporary bed he’s set up on the floor for you. he blinks, 
“night, y/n.” 
it’s surprisingly comfortable, or maybe you’re just so exhausted you don’t seem to care or question anything anymore. 
you hear light footsteps padding to turn off the lights. 
in the darkness, your eyes close. but your mind is awake.
you know his is too, judging by the sounds of quite shuffling every couple minutes or so.
“niki?” you say quietly.
another shuffle. 
“yeah?”
“this may sound weird, but have you noticed anyone that looked particularly sad?”
there’s a pause. 
“about you?”
“yeah, but not like the typical sadness. like, anyone who seems to have changed drastically after hearing about me? let’s say,” you swallow, “any guys or friends of yours who seemed particularly upset or affected?”
niki rolls to the other side of his bed so that he faces you, but in the darkness he can only see the outline of your figure. “y/n, what are you trying to say?”
you tug the covers over yourself a little tighter. 
“nevermind, niki. have a good day at school tomorrow, and don’t worry about waking me up. you won’t be able to.”
“wasn’t planning on it,” he snorts. 
you fall asleep with a faint smile still lingering on your face. 
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the next day at school, niki struggles. he struggles when it’s supposed to be another normal day, and all he can think about is you. 
especially about what you said.
niki never paid much attention before to his surroundings, there was no reason to. but now he keeps an eye open.
he eyed anyone who passed by your locker, empty desk in class, anyone who mentioned your name. but the fact that you mentioned guys specifically, made him confused. 
why did it matter if a guy was upset? a lot of people were shocked and sad at the news. niki shook his head. he didn’t get it. 
meanwhile, you stayed at his home.
thinking. 
thinking about yesterday. somehow everything that happened was all just yesterday. you took the train and ended up here. then you found out you were apparently dead. 
you spent what felt like hours scrolling through the photos you took and waiting for niki to come home. all while eating snacks that niki left for you graciously. 
you don’t even know what time it is when you hear the door begin to open. you scramble to your feet before realizing that there was a chance it wasn’t niki. 
you go back to your hiding spot, shrinking underneath the covers. next thing you know, the bedroom door flings open. you tense.
however, a call of your name allows you to let out a sigh of relief. you hop up, “niki!”
he grins, looking rather cute in his ruffled school uniform, backpack slung off one shoulder. you stop yourself, horrified at your thought. at your face falling, he cocks his head. “what’s wrong?”
you laugh awkwardly, “nothing! nothing at all!” 
he gives you an unconvinced look but doesn’t press further. 
“you must’ve been bored without me.” 
that was the niki you’ve come to know (in the span of a day or so).  sarcasm drips from your lips as you laugh dryly, “sure.” 
but you knew he was right and he knew it too. 
“i spent the day looking through the pictures, but i couldn’t find much else,” you frown. 
“same here. today was pretty normal, no one seemed any different than usual…” 
“i mean, the mood has been somber ever since you,” he pauses, “left. but nothing out of the ordinary.” 
you seemingly deflate, but niki perks up. “i talked to jungwon and he said he’s going to try and get your phone next time. we can only hope that someone charges it or that we can charge it ourselves.” 
you nod, “that’s good.” 
“but, don’t you have work to do? what about your family?”
you realized you didn’t see or even hear of them yesterday. 
“oh, they usually stay late at the dance academy—me included. but my grades haven’t been good recently, so they’ve been forcing me to go to home and study…”
you tsk as niki gives you a sheepish look. 
“you know, while we’re waiting, i’m not too bad at studying myself. what do you need help with?” 
niki rolls his eyes, “thanks, but no thanks. i don’t need another person on my back about my grades.” 
instead, he falls back onto his bed with an oof. 
“don’t worry, i’ll manage. let’s just talk about our next step. 
“step? as in, my case?
“yeah,“ his eyes glint, “i have an idea.”
you were starting to believe he was getting more invested in this than you were. 
“okay—shoot.”
what was the worse thing he could suggest?
“we should sneak you into school-“
your eyes practically bulge as you gape at him. “excuse me? weren’t you the one saying i was going too far with sneaking into my own house and you want me to do what?” 
niki gets up, placing his arms on your shoulders to calm you. strangely enough, it did. 
“hear me out first—we sneak into school at night, bust open your locker, and see what you have. that’s better than waiting for jungwon.”
“don’t you think the police would have already looked through my locker? 
“well, he looks around nervously, “as far as i’ve heard, the police were already mostly convinced the case was closed and didn’t care to check. but, what can i say? rumors are just rumors.” 
you purse your lips. what did you have to lose? being in a different world made you much more reckless than you would have ever thought. but that didn’t mean you were going to be stupid about it.
“fine.” 
niki winces at your tone, but you speak up,
“how in this stupid multiverse crap am i going to break into my own locker? and with cameras all around school?
he smirks and you raise an eyebrow.
“i didn’t miss a whole chem lecture for nothing—“ 
confused, you give him a look as if to say, what in the world are you talking about? 
“who said we had to know the combination?” he takes out a pair of keys form his pocket. 
you gasp in awe, clasping a hand over your mouth.
you gaze at him with wide eyes for a second, causing him to look at you questioningly. 
“you’re actually being smart...” 
his confused expression immediately changes to one of irritation. 
you stand up straight again, “how did you even get those keys? and what about the cameras?” 
he winks and you glance at him, trying to remain expressionless. if there was anything you noticed, it was that niki was actually quite attractive. it made you wonder if he was popular at school…
“it’s a secret. don’t worry about it.” 
“you sure have a lot of secrets, niki. like, is niki even your real name?” you squint accusingly. 
niki chokes on his spit, “how in the world did you know?” 
you falter. “huh? it isn’t?” 
he clears his throat, “anyway, i have to get up early for school tomorrow.” 
you eye him but decide to let it go. niki shrugs, “usually i’m up playing games, but you look like you need the sleep with those eye bags. you aren’t surprised.
“tomorrow night,” he says shortly after. “i’ve got a plan—you just have to trust me.”
turns out said plan was dumb, but you really had no other choice. 
niki made some lame excuse to his teachers about staying late to study- and his teachers, being utterly shocked that he offered to study, immediately agreed to let him linger. 
meanwhile, niki would sneak you in, wearing one of his old uniforms that was too small for him so that just in case, no one would question anything. along with one of his totally inconspicuous baseball caps to hide your face and hair. 
you sigh, you couldn't believe you were sneaking into school through the boys bathroom. you groan while maneuvering through the window. niki shushes you, causing you to stick your tongue out at him. he raises his hands playfully and you resist the urge to smack him. 
on your way to jump down from the window, your left foot gets caught on the ledge. you stumble forward, expecting to be met with the revolting bathroom floor face first. instead, perhaps now was the time to thank the universe (in this case, his universe?) for niki’s quick reflexes.
he inhales, catching you by catching and pulling you towards him instead of the ground, essentially into his arms. 
instead of faceplanting into the ground rather foolishly, you fall into his strangely soft and warm chest. you let out a barely discernible squeak, unable to respond due to the pounding of your heart. 
after a couple of seconds—that felt like forever— niki lets you go with a shake of his head. 
“my god y/n, i had no clue you were this clumsy. please don’t ever do that again.” 
please don’t ever make me sneak into a nasty teenage bathroom again, you wish you could retort. 
you shake your head quickly, lips pressed thinly together. don’t get distracted, you remind yourself.  “yeah-thanks. let’s uh, just hurry.“
you don’t have time to wonder what would the consequences be if you got caught by cameras or anyone else while niki leads you down the familiar hallways. 
“how do you know which one’s my locker? i thought you said we didn’t really know each other?“ you eye him suspiciously.
he scoffs, “don’t get too excited. mine’s just a couple lockers down so i was bound to see you at your locker by some point.” 
he hands you the keys and you gratefully accept—your hands slightly trembling. you didn’t know what to expect. 
niki watches from behind, and you can feel his warm breath on you occasionally, causing you to shiver.
with a slight click and creak of the rusty locker door, the locker opens. you hold your breath at first glance. it’s…. normal? 
normal as in any average high schoolers locker one would expect. what catches your eye first are a couple of photos of you and your friends. 
on deeper inspection of yourself (it was still weird to imagine and even weirder to see) you see a twinkling, intricate chain around your neck. maybe you were tripping (again, but mentally this time) or that necklace you had on seems really expensive? 
“there’s no way,” you suddenly gasp and turn to niki with wide eyes. 
“what?” niki starts to panic, “what is it?” 
“am i actually loaded in this world?” 
niki pinches the bridge of his nose as he shakes his head. “jesus, you scared me. i mean, you didn’t seem like it.. who knows where you got that super expensive, luxury brand necklace? it looks familiar…“ 
you try your hardest not to roll your eyes. of course, niki would know. 
“how much are you talking?” 
he taps his foot on the floor, “well, my mom and sister likes that brand. that specific necklace is specially made since it’s a seasonal limited edition, so it’s somewhere in the thousands-“
you truly forgot how rich niki’s family was, you think with a half joking tch and a shake of your head. niki glances at you, impressed. 
“-whoever gave that to you must’ve really cared.” 
you frown, “sure… or maybe i just really worked hard to get it for myself?” 
he’s shoots you an amused look, “you wanted to get yourself the valentine day’s collection necklace? 
“what?” 
you feel your heart rate begin to pick up, “are you implying what i think you are? 
“yes?” he responds with a raised eyebrow, “someone must’ve been really in love with you to gift you that. maybe your parents or friends?” 
then niki pokes your side playfully, “-or a secret admirer?” 
you don’t answer his question, regardless of if he was being serious or not. you peer into the locker again, “but where is it? it’s so valuable i’m certain we would’ve seen it in the police’s evidence…” 
suddenly, niki grabs your wrist. that’s when you hear the footsteps. you turn to him with wide eyes as he mouths for you to hide.  panicking, you look around in desperation before he pushes you—
straight into the locker. 
your own locker. 
you know you should be freaking out over getting caught, but you could only wonder—could this be considered a crime? 
in the dark, stuffy locker, you see a glimpse of niki’s silhouette run past through the tiny openings of the door. just barely a second later, you hear more footsteps. squinting, you able to discern a familiar, yet weirdly unfamiliar guy. your eyebrows raise. 
no way. park sunghoon was in this world too? 
you hold your breath when you hear him call out, “is someone there?” 
really, curse niki for shoving you in your own locker. yet it was also a smart move as no one could see into your locker, but you were able to see out. 
“sorry. that was me, pres.” 
it was niki’s voice. 
you can barely see his relaxed demeanor appearing to face sunghoon. 
“i was staying back to study and catch up on work—you know already,” he adds hastily. 
sunghoon nods coolly, “i was just checking. making sure everything’s good before leaving.” 
niki was a little too good at acting, you questioned how often he had done this to those around him. he fake salutes, “i promise to clean up after i’m done. no need to worry, class president.” 
“alright, see you later.” 
you have a sigh of relief as sunghoon turns to leave. 
but you swear, for a split second, his expression changes as his eyes fall on your locker. 
your heart rate picks up. did he notice you? 
however, sunghoon leaves without a second look back. 
you frown—what was that? 
after waiting a minute to be safe, niki quickly lets you out. only to be greeted by your displeased face and crossed arms. 
“that was the only thing i could think of in the moment!” he immediately defends himself. 
“seriously? i could’ve-like-“ you trail off and niki smirks.
“see? nothing bad would’ve happened.”
“doesn’t change the fact you stuffed me in my locker. it’s not even mine, for crying out loud.” 
“whatever. just be glad you didn’t get caught by park sunghoon, our school’s super rich, smart, and handsome-“
“i know him from my world. he’s irrelevant, let’s continue on.” you wave him off. 
you can’t help but compare him to niki. niki was way more genuine and… boyish in a way? he felt real. you preferred that. not to mention he had a much more tolerable presence, you supposed. 
everything else in the locker was useless. random crappy notes, perfumes and hand lotions, along with the pictures you already inspected were the only things that decorated your locker. no sign of that ridiculously expensive necklace. 
you rub a hand over your face in exasperation. “that’s it…”
one thought still lingered in the back of your mind. where was the necklace? 
“hey, y/n, i think we should get going soon. the lights are going to turn off soon-they’re automatic and we didn’t bring any flashlights.” 
you sigh. next time. 
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it feels like you’ve hit a dead end. by the end of the week, niki has caught up on his studies. you were surprised to find that he was quite dedicated to school, even if it didn’t seem like it. 
the days that niki came home with a pile of schoolwork and other duties, you went out to think—with one of niki’s hoodies and a mask on. but the times you spent with niki since you couldn’t go out much, mainly at night, were nice. 
tutoring him at subjects he was struggling in, learning new dances together (and learning how talented he really was), simply being around him was enough to distract you from your impending crisis. 
niki always came to keep you company and bring you food. you really were his eleven. 
niki was gaming while you sat off to the side, watching him play. you admired his side profile, the shine from the bright computer screen enhancing his features, the furrow of his eyebrow as he focused. 
he yells as his character dies and you can’t hold back your laughter, “you kinda suck-“
all of a sudden, you hear a knock on the door. 
“bro, you good? i swear i heard another voice-“
the door handle begins to turn.
you and niki share a look of panic. 
your first instinct is to dive and roll, underneath niki’s bed. you ignore the fact that it’s as dusty as you’d expect for a teenage boy’s room and hold your breath. 
“mom said dinner is ready. also, what’s with all the noise? it sounded like someone else was in the room with you.” a girls voice—niki’s older sister, you presume. 
“nope. just me.” 
you cringe at the fact that niki’s voice is octaves higher. it wouldn’t be that much of a problem if his voice wasn’t as deep as it normally was. 
“it was just probably the video i was playing.” 
“…sure,” you hear his sister’s footsteps as she leaves and shuts the door behind her. 
you let out an exhale of relief. 
“y/n?” you hear soon after. 
“under here.” 
you turn to see niki’s head peeking down underneath the bed. 
you meet his curious eyes. cute. 
“jeez.” he holds a hand out and you gladly accept it, letting him pull you up with ease. huffing, you dust yourself off. 
“jeez, indeed. who knows what horrors you’ve been hiding under there.”
“hey,” niki defends himself, “i’ll have you know i am a very clean person and don’t-“
“oh really? then what’s this?” you hold up the sacred item, jerking your hand back as he reaches out to snatch it. 
“hey! haven’t you ever heard of privacy?” 
he lunges again as you laugh, just keeping it out of his grasp. however, you feel the bed frame hit your legs, and you gasp. 
you fall back, niki over you on his bed. he must’ve underestimated his arm-span and overestimated yours. 
niki lands over you with a soft grunt, eyes wide. you peer up at him wordlessly. his arms catch him, but it’s still so close you can feel his hair tickle your forehead. 
is this what the movies mean when your heart… skips a beat? 
niki snaps out of his trance, “s-sorry,” he hastily gets up. you cough, trying to dispel the stuffy atmosphere. 
“so, uh, i had an idea.”
“yeah? what’s up?”
“i was thinking we look at the evidence again. i just want to double check something.”
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“come on,” you take niki’s hand. it was habitual by this point. 
“you got the charger, right?”
niki nods, taking it out of his pocket. 
it was risky asking niki’s friend to retrieve the evidence for you again, but you needed to confirm your suspicions. or, hit a dead end. 
when niki returns, carefully holding a plastic bag (and dinner, your grumbling stomach reminds you), your eyes zero in on one thing. 
“thanks. i know it must be hard for your friend to sneak behind his dad’s back like that.” 
“it’s fine,” niki shrugs, “i promised to buy him lunch for the next week.” 
you snort as you take out “your” phone and plug it into the charger. 
“okay. now we wait.” 
niki looks at you expectantly, and you only stare at him back. subconsciously, a hand raises to your face. “is there something wrong?”
he shakes his head while looking away sheepishly, “nothing, nothing.”
you open your mouth to question him further, but the phone screen flashes. you scramble to open it. thankfully you were able to use your own face id. 
as soon as you scroll through your messages, your stomach sinks. you raise a hand to cover your mouth. 
“what?” niki jumps up, “what did you find?”
you open the photos app, which only confirms everything. you drop the phone, and that’s when niki sees it. 
“oh my god.” 
“don’t even-“
“i was secretly dating park sunghoon?!”
you cup a hand over your mouth. “i think i’m gonna be sick.” 
niki scoffs, taken aback. “b-but how? you- and him-?”
you rub a hand over your face. “don’t ask me. but the valentines gifts and necklace were so suspicious, i started wondering… i just didn’t expect it to be him.” 
niki notices the sour expression on your face. 
“oh. you don’t like him?”
you shake your head vehemently, “bro, not even if he and i were the last two people on earth.”
you think about your world’s sunghoon and almost shudder. he was selfish, arrogant, could but would never keep a girl for more than two weeks. yet the whole class still loved him and you never understood it, never understood the appeal of him. 
besides getting bro-zoned, niki relished your words. 
“good to know.” 
“i wish i didn’t,” you sigh.
but that was besides the point. you still didn’t know how it all added up. did sunghoon—unfortunately, your boyfriend in this world—have anything to do with your death? did he really get you that expensive necklace? 
and as much as you wanted to deny it, you couldn’t rule it out. thinking as rationally and fairly as possible, suicide was likely-as much as you didn’t believe it. you couldn’t rule it out simply based on a feeling. plus, his expression when he passed by your locker lingered in your mind. 
“so, now what?” niki watches you carefully. 
“you’ve heard of the saying, keep your friends close but your enemies closer, right?”
“yeah,” he cocks an eyebrow, “why?”
“well, i’ve got a task for you.” 
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niki has never spoken a word to your friend group in his entire life. the most he’s ever done was send a cold look their way and pretend not to know them out in public. 
he had nothing against them—nothing against your choice of friends—but he preferred not to associate with your group. he couldn’t put his finger on it, but he just didn’t vibe with them. 
and yet here he was, talking to your “friends” because you asked him to. he sighed, the things he did for you. 
danielle looks him up and down with her arms crossed. “why are you asking about y/n? since when did you care about them?”
“please,” he sighs in exasperation, “i just need to know if anyone disliked y/n or was acting suspicious around them.”
haerin steps up, an annoyed frown on her face. “there’s no one. can’t you tell this is a touchy subject for us? now, leave us alone.” 
she grabs danielle and walks off, angrily whispering into a distressed looking danielle’s ears. 
niki wants to punch someone. besides the fact that surrounding people were catching onto his conversation and whispering about the interaction, he essentially got nothing out of it. 
you were also at a dead end. after scrolling through hundreds of disgusting texts and photos of you and sunghoon, there was nothing remotely suspicious. plus, you had to give your phone back to jungwon soon before anyone noticed it was missing. 
everything seemed normal. everything was normal. normal until this world’s you suddenly died. 
the only lead you had was the missing necklace. and yet where were you supposed to find it? it could be anywhere—in the police’s hands, with sunghoon, most likely gone. 
you couldn’t even go out on your own, you felt like a hopeless rapunzel trapped in her tower, desperately wishing for answers and freedom. it was starting to get to you. the stress, homesickness, and most of all, loneliness. 
you throw your phone to the side and bury your face in your hands, trying your best to focus on your breathing. you almost don’t realize how long it’s been until you hear a faint call of your name. 
“y/n? y/n, what’s wrong?” niki drops his backpack and rushes to your side. 
his eyes carefully examine your body, checking for who knows what. you slowly lower your hands, revealing your bloodshot eyes and tear stained face. 
what scared niki the most was the lost look in your eyes, a deep and dark pool void of any emotion. 
“niki… i don’t think i can do this anymore,” your words float out carefully, like a whisper of the wind. 
“i’m trying my hardest, but it’s so frustrating. i miss my home, i miss my life. i miss myself.” as soon as the words leave your mouth, you feel yourself break down. and right as you do so, niki reaches forward to wrap you in an embrace. 
“i want to go home,” you whisper in an small voice. 
his heart almost breaks at the sight. you sounded like a little kid—you looked like you were a little kid again, as small and curled up you were when he found you. in his eyes, he saw a lost child looking for their parents, their guidance and their own light in the world. 
he resolves to never be the cause of your pain again. 
niki holds you for the entire night as you cry and drift off to sleep. 
you wake up with a headache and a dry throat. you feel hungover, although you’ve basically never drank alcohol before. 
somehow, you’re not sure exactly when, you ended up in niki’s bed. as soon as you’re able to sit up, your eyes fall on the clock on the bedside table. 
11 am. niki must be at school still, you note. 
you wonder what he’s up to, if he was being a good student while you were stuck all alone at his home, skipping your own school. you wonder what life is like back at home. did time even pass? 
niki heads home as soon as the bell rings. he wanted to see you, to comfort you and reassure you. he wanted you to be okay. 
when he knocks on his own bedroom door and there’s no response, he frowns. all there’s left is a pink sticky note on his desk. 
went out for fresh air. don’t worry and don’t look for me. 
niki immediately drops his stuff and runs out. he goes to the train station, the bookstore. he even goes back to school, for crying out loud. 
he’s breathless and exhausted by the time he’s arrived back home. niki knows his family won’t be back. it was competition season, which meant the busiest time of the year for the other dancers. you were the sole reason he attended school at this time of the year, studying hard instead of skipping and dancing 18 hours each day. 
he’s scared. 
niki hasn’t felt this feeling in a long time—he can only recall the time where he was six and went to disney world. his older sister was pressuring him into riding one of the larger roller coasters, and he felt that sickening nausea fill him as he looked up at the towering structure. 
he almost gives up. he basically has, until he notices something strange. his balcony door is unlocked, and he always kept it locked for safety purposes.
tense, niki reaches out and slowly turns the handle. what greets him is certainly not what he expected. 
you sit on the balcony railing, hanging over the edge quite precariously with your feet swinging. one slight mistake and you would fall. 
you stare down at the passing cars, cloudy and dreary skies showing you it was soon to rain.
niki stares at you, and you turn around at the sound of the door to stare back, not a single word exchanged. 
then you finally break the eye contact, glancing down at your stilled feet. “i wasn’t going to do it.” 
he silently moves closer, hopping next to you on the railing as well. “okay.” 
you don’t see the tender way his eyes travel over you. your voice is quiet as you speak up, “you don’t have to say anything.”
“okay,” niki repeats. 
it’s not said in a sarcastic way. it’s not sad, either. it’s just..... soft. soft and understanding enough to make a blanket of comfort fall around you, to make it known that niki’s presence is here by your side.
suddenly, the rains starts and niki asks if you want to go down. you slowly nod and he helps you safely off the railing before opening the door for you guys go out in the rain. 
the rain doesn’t stop. 
and niki doesn’t stop either. he grabs your hand, dragging you along with him haphazardly. 
“where are we going?” you ask breathlessly. 
“out. like most people our age. we’re still kids.” 
“wow, i had no idea,” you mutter sarcastically. 
he holds back a smile of relief. good to know you were still your usual self. 
“you need a break. you’ve been so caught up in this case, you need to rest.”
“but-“
“come on,” he leads you on, “relax. it’ll give you a clear mind, so we can come back with a fresh start.” 
you’re hesitant until he pulls up at an arcade. “what if someone sees me? what if they-“
niki places a finger over your lips, silencing you. “we’re here to have fun like everyone else and not give a crap about anything else. now, are you gonna play or are you gonna get your butt kicked by me?”
a challenge was a challenge. 
you laugh at niki’s rambunctious side, yelling as he tries to cheat during competitive games and fight over the better toy gun. 
“just so you know, i technically won.” 
you playfully shove him, “in your dreams. you’re just saying that because you don’t want to-“
you get cut off by the loudest (and most embarrassing) grumble of your stomach. you both look down at your stomach. you look back up, petrified. 
niki almost cackles, “i guess that’s a sign.”
“it’s not my fault i fell asleep before eating yesterday,” you pout. 
“what do you want to eat?”
“anything. i’m serious.” 
niki watches with a fond smile as you quite literally inhale your food. 
“eat any faster, and you’ll make a new record.”
you flip him off as he laughs, putting more food onto your plate from his. you can only watch wordlessly, feeling your heart warm. after you finish eating, niki takes your hand again. you glance at him questioningly. 
“there’s one last thing i wanted to do,” he mumbles while avoiding your gaze. 
“how’s this one?”
you scrunch your nose in distaste at the sight, reaching to place red devil horns on niki’s head.
“i think this one fits you more.”
as he grumbles, you laugh. 
“fine, but i get to choose yours.” 
he ends up picking a frog headband for you—which you complain to no avail. his reasoning was, “you remind me of a frog. like the princess and the frog.”
you splutter, “but that means-“
“yes. i’m the princess.”
“obviously,” he adds. 
in the photo booth, you sit awkwardly. niki cocks an eyebrow. 
“i’ve never done this before, so…"
instead of teasing you like you originally assumed, niki only brings you closer. he wraps an arm around you while posing for the camera. you’re frozen, even as the countdown starts. you can barely manage a smile as the camera flashes. 
“what now?”
niki glances at the screen, “we still have three more pictures. what poses do you want to do?”
you’re at a loss for words. 
niki leans closer again. he makes a half heart with his hand as he looks at you expectantly. “how about a heart pose?”
“o-okay.”
you never felt so suffocated in that photo booth. and yet, you’ve never laughed harder. you’ve never been so happy in your life with someone else.  
“hey, this photo came out good!”
“but what happened to the first one?”
you both lean in to get a closer look at the photos that printed, and you end up feeling niki’s breath on your cheek. 
it was warm. it was nice to have someone so close to you and still feel comfortable. it was nice to know you were close enough to someone to feel that way. 
it was something you had never felt before. 
“..-y/n?”
“huh?” you snap out of your trance.
“i said, you can keep this copy.” 
you look at the pictures and then at niki. “what? no, it’s fine-“
“i said keep it,” he forcefully shoves the photo into your hand as he quickly heads over to the cashier to pay. 
you stand there for a minute, looking at the photos. you guys looked happy. you guys looked good…together. like you were a real couple, or something. you internally chide yourself while taking off your headband. what a silly thought, you brush off. 
on the walk back home, you feel utterly satisfied, humming as you match your pace with niki’s.
“when we arrive, i’ll let you in through the back, just to be safe.”
“whatever you say, mr. responsible.” 
he ruffles your hair and you swat his hand away in annoyance.
that night was the first night you’ve felt content. almost like you could stay here—like you belonged. you stare up at the dark ceiling, reflecting on the days events. 
“niki?”
you hear his bed shift. “yeah?”
“i just wanted to say thanks. for everything. you’ve been providing everything for me, all while helping me on my case. i’m grateful for everything. i don’t know how, but i promise to pay you back one day.”
“what’s with the sudden sappiness?” his tone is teasing, but light. he clears his throat to add, “but yeah, of course.”
“i dunno, i guess i’m just not used to this type of treatment back home.”
“what? what do you mean?” 
even in the dark, you can feel inquisitive stare on you. 
“i mean, i’m usually left on my own since my parents are working. and my friends, well, they’re nice and all…”
“but you don’t feel a true connection?” he finishes, and you roll over.
“yeah. i don’t really know what my friends are like in this world. who even are my friends? do i even have any?”
niki grimaces. 
“uh, yeah. i don’t know if they exist in your world, but have you heard of danielle? and haerin?”
“nope. what are they like?” 
he shifts again, and the bed creaks. “you see, i don’t really talk to your friend group. it’s nothing personal, i just don’t want to associate with them.”
“dang, maybe it really is just a me problem, in every life too.” 
you hadn’t thought about hanni and hyein since you got here. but danielle and haerin were two new leads. a new start, perhaps. 
now that you had more information from niki, you started your research again. specifically, insta-stalking. 
your specialty. 
niki hands you his phone with a suspicious look when you casually ask for it. you pray he doesn’t hear the sound of blood rushing in your ears or the pounding of your heart. 
as he goes to do his night time routine, you quickly tap on the instagram app and search up danielle’s name. it doesn’t take long for you to find her account since niki followed her. checking to make sure he didn’t come out of the bathroom, you scroll through her feed. 
and your heart stops when you see it. in the corner of a photo—a picture of her and haerin posing at school in front of their lockers. 
that’s your ridiculously expensive bracelet on danielle’s arm. you’re sure of it. 
you felt yourself grow nauseous as you quickly turn off niki’s phone as soon as you hear the door turn. 
“hey, are you okay? you look like you just saw a ghost..”
you blink and smile, peeking at him innocently, although the dread grows in the pit of your stomach. “huh? no. what are you talking about?”
“what were you doing on my phone?”
you look away sheepishly, “trying to see if i could call my mom?” maybe niki’s acting skills were rubbing off on you. 
“oh, and?” 
you shake your head, a fake grim expression plastered on your face. 
that night, you lay awake staring into the darkness. when you hear niki’s soft snores, you sneak over to his bedside table to retrieve the key. you know you shouldn’t, but you felt this was something you needed to do alone. 
you feel like you’re on the edge of the cliff, about to jump into the water. the adrenaline filled you, you were right there-
it was so close.
the next day, you have to pretend everything is okay. you smile when niki greets you good morning, even peck him on the cheek when he tells you he has to stop by the dance studio for the night. 
he visibly blushes, stuttering on his words, “w-uh, w-what was that.. for..?”
you shrug, “i’m just proud of you for getting your grades up. it’s your first time back dancing in a while so have fun, okay?” 
he nods, beaming as he squeezes your hand goodbye. as he leaves, your smile fades. it felt too normal. it felt too right to imagine having a life with niki, like this everyday.
and knowing what you knew now, it was wrong. it was wrong from the start, and yet you couldn't help yourself fall even deeper. you had to get back into the right mental state. you couldn't keep deluding yourself.
it was time to confront the truth.
you can’t believe you’re sneaking into through the school boy’s bathroom again. the locker key safely stored in your pocket, you find danielle’s locker. the same one from the photo she posted. 
this had to be the one. you can only hold your breath and hope as you unlock it. 
you quickly scramble through all the stuff, looking for the shiny bracelet. you don’t find it, but when you go to close the locker door in defeat, a crumpled up piece of paper falls onto the floor. 
you huff, taking it and opening it up. it’s a picture of sunghoon, you, and danielle, all smiling as you three posed for the camera. but it wasn’t just an ordinary picture—there was a big, red “X” scribbled over your face, with the words “finally done” written next to it. 
and hearts next to sunghoon’s face. 
horrified, you clap a hand over your mouth. 
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during a break at the dance studio, niki doesn’t expect to open his instagram app and see danielle’s instagram show up on his recently searched. frowning, he taps on the account. he never cared to pay attention to danielle, so why was her account the last thing searched up? 
just out of curiosity, he scrolls through her recent posts. 
and then he sees it. something that is so hard to miss. it’s so strikingly familiar. 
he rushes home. when niki bursts through the front door, he doesn’t expect to find you missing. and when niki notices his old school uniform and cap gone, his heart drops. 
you sit on the floor next to the lockers  with your head buried on top of your knees. you’re sure you could get caught, but you don’t care. 
the crumpled picture feels heavy in your pocket. 
you stay there, staring at the walls until you see the moon shining brightly outside one of the windows. you haven’t eaten or drank anything the whole day. you’re not sure how long it’s been. 
“y/n!” 
great, now you were hearing things as well? 
furious footsteps stomp towards you.
“why did you leave without telling me? you could’ve gotten caught-it could’ve been dangerous?!”
“n-niki?” your eyes widen. 
before saying anything else, he pulls you up to your feet. 
“why would you come to school without me?”
for some reason, his words sting. you cross your arms, “what? like i can’t take care of myself?” 
he groans, “that’s besides the point! if someone saw you—“
“i don’t care! so why do you care so—“
a sound from down the hall cuts you both off. you turn to niki in panic and he curses. “the custodian comes on weekends to clean.”
you hold back a yelp as niki grabs your wrist and pulls you along in the opposite direction. 
he pushes through a door and turns to the left. you don’t stop until you’re inside the.. natatorium? 
“why are we-“
“there are no cameras here, unlike in the school building. i thought you would’ve known that.”
after he speaks, there’s an awkward silence. 
niki sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose. “well, are you gonna tell me?”
you feel the frustration flow through your veins, “and what about you? you tell me why i have to let you know my every location? why i feel like i can’t take care of myself, l-like a sick, old dog who can’t go anywhere or do anything? i’m sick of it all!” 
“you don’t understand,” his voice raises,  and you interrupt him, getting closer and closer to him. 
“you’re right, i don’t. i don’t understand why you helped me in the first place. you say that you barely knew who i was, yet here you are acting like you care! like you cared about the dead me!”
at this point, his face is so close to yours, you can feel your breaths mix as neither of you back down. 
“i do care! of course i care! about you, standing right in front of me!” he clenches his fists. your eyes linger on a single vein on his neck that sticks out due to the intensity. the fire burning in his eyes, your trembling voices, it all makes you falter. 
you don’t know what you asked. you know the truth. niki always cared—more than cared. he always went out of his way to search for you, like the day on the balcony and today. he wanted to find you, he wanted to have you in his life, 
you realize it now. to put simply, he wanted you. 
and this was the first time you felt wanted. 
you don’t know what else to do, so you lean in and close the gap to kiss him. and if anything, niki immediately pulls you closer to him. 
when you break apart for air, his dark eyes still staring deep into yours, you think he’s gonna lean back in again. but you hear a faint voice sound, growing louder. your eyes both widen. the janitor.
without a second thought, niki pushes you. 
he does it lightly, although it’s still enough to make you lose your balance, and for a second you stare back at him, betrayal evident before you fall backwards—
straight into the pool. 
your eyes just barely peek open in the water, and then there’s a splash accompanying yours a few seconds later. 
he easily swims to you, cupping your cheeks and bringing your lips to his once more. it was a much different experience from just a few seconds ago. 
you stay entwined like that together, eyes squeezed shut, until you actually can’t breathe anymore and you have to smack niki’s arm. you both rise to the top, heaving water and air. 
after a few seconds of coughing and gathering your bearings, niki’s raspy voice fills the air. 
“at least he’s gone. i’ve always wanted to do that.”
you roll your eyes, splashing water back at him in revenge for pushing you earlier. “seriously? after we got almost got caught? we could’ve drowned!”  
you splash him again, “also, you could’ve given me a heads up!”
he grins, wiping the running water free from his face. “and where’s the fun in that?”
you shake your head in amazement, “you’re actually an idiot. i can’t believe you, niki.” 
“an idiot who saved us from getting caught.”
after returning home together, you sit and enjoy the peaceful silence as niki dries your hair. your mind can’t help but replay the last few moments, from finding the picture at school to kissing niki, and then finally get pushed into the pool. specifically, the kissing part. 
growing sleepy at the soft and warm feeling of niki’s hands running through your hair, you almost don’t hear him when he says, “all done.”
you thank him and he looks around awkwardly. 
“what is it?” you squint at him. 
“well, i wanted to apologize. i didn’t mean to make to feel that way. i was just really worried about you, and i felt hurt you didn’t tell me why you snuck into school again today. did you not trust me? did i do something wrong?”
you soften, eyes falling to the floor. 
“i’m so sorry, niki. i didn’t mean to lash out on you. of course i trust you, i just wanted to do something for myself for once. without needing your or anyone else’s help.” 
you exhale, “the reason i left today was for this—“ you take the damp, crumpled picture and unfold it as best as you can. 
niki’s hands fall to his side. “oh god.”
“it was danielle. she took my bracelet and i-i think she wanted my boyfriend. i know it has to be her.”
“w-what? but how?”
you shake your head. he goes to hug you. 
you feel tears brimming at the corner of your eyes, but you won’t waste any tears on her. you pull back to look at niki, with a determined expression on your face. 
“you have to catch her and make sure they get what they deserve.” 
niki stares at you deeply, “are you sure? because if you are, i won’t stop.”
he wonders why you say you and not we.
at that, you falter. 
“no. i never be sure because she is—was my best friend and i will always hold that guilt in me. but you have to do something about it.” 
niki’s hold around you tightens, “and what about you?”
you smile, albeit sadly. “you know i can’t stay here, hiding away forever. i don’t belong here. i already existed in your world, and at some point, i have to leave soon. i can feel it.” 
it was the same feeling as when you first came here. that day you felt off. the feeling that you don’t belong anywhere, but this time, you feel fulfilled. complete. like you were ready to go back home. 
“it’s not something i can explain, but i know it,” you look at him with determined eyes. 
and he looks back at you with pained ones. 
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niki is able to convince jungwon to get his dad to reinvestigate the case again. the picture is given up as evidence, and danielle and haerin are taken in. 
the day they confessed out of guilt, you and niki celebrate by sneaking onto your school’s rooftop. the same place where it all started.
it’s a cold and windy night, but you could care less about getting sick. because it was your last day anyway. 
you didn’t tell niki, but you had a good feeling—like the world was patting you on the back and saying, “you worked hard.” 
the two of you watch the stars, snuggled up and reflecting on how your lives came to be like this. wondering how far away apart your worlds were. 
you kiss niki’s cheek, wishing to remember the feeling of being in his arms forever. his scent, his touch, his warmth, you wish you could keep all of it. you smile at him, willing back the tears. 
“there was a reason i bumped into you that day, of all people. there was a reason you came into my life, and i came into yours, niki.” 
he bites his lip, “y/n... you changed my life. every day with you was better than the last.” 
if this was a dream, you wouldn’t want to wake up. you trace his face, so it will remain ingrained in your mind forever, even when you go back to your world. 
“what will happen when i leave?” you whisper. 
“how will you even get back home?”
you shrug, “i don’t know how, but i know that i will.”
niki laughs, “that’s the y/n i know.”
as he kisses you once more, a star falls across the sky. 
the next day, you find a ticket in your bag. a train ticket. 
you don’t recall having bought one, and you don’t question niki. you only ask him to take you to the train station.
while walking hand and hand, you reminisce on the past month or so. “will we still remember this once you go back to your world?”
your body trembles, “i don’t know.”
“then… will i ever see you again?”
you don’t want to meet his eyes, because you know you’ll cry. 
yes, you want to say. instead, you say, “ i don’t know.”
niki wipes a stray tear on your face. you don’t even know how you reached your stop already. 
“this is it,” he says. 
but neither of you move. 
“don’t worry, even if i don’t remember you, you’ll always be in my heart. we’ll meet in your world,” he reminds you while the tears start falling down both of your faces. 
“don’t forget that there’s another me out there to annoy you. you just need to search hard.” 
you sniffle, playfully pushing him away as you furiously blink away the tears that blur your vision. you needed to soak up the sight of him as much of him as you could.
“i promise i’ll find you again.” 
he holds onto you until the very end, until you slip out of his grasp once more.
crossing the platform into the train while giving him one last, slow wave was painful. the last thing you can think of is the fact that you never knew. you never asked for niki’s full name. his real one. 
you never knew niki’s name.
and then everything fades into nothing. 
that’s the last time niki ever sees you. the train passes by in a flash, blowing his bangs across his face while he tries his best to keep that fake smile on his face for you—all for you before you go. 
then, you’re gone. 
in those seconds as the train passes, niki knows exactly why he did it. why he helped you through all of it, through everything together. 
all because you were there in class. you never looked at him, but he looked at you. he saw all of you, everyday—even if you didn’t know it. all your quirks and habits that he couldn’t help but find cute. you made his days interesting. 
but he was the coward for never approaching you. that was his fault because one day, you weren’t there anymore. 
and he had to pretend like nothing happened. on the outside, that’s how it was. even if he felt the slightest connection, tiniest pull towards you, you were still strangers. 
you were strangers until you knocked into him on the train platform. 
niki had to be selfish. he thinks it could have been fate that he saw you again, but now he’s just left with the lingering regret and feelings. those memories flash past like the train does. they come and go in the blink of an eye- a split second. 
when the train is gone, niki frowns and wonders why he’s standing there. 
he also wonders why it feels like there’s a piece of his heart missing. 
after that, he attends your funeral in his world. it was an open funeral to everyone who wanted to come- classmates, friends, and him. niki didn’t even know you that well, but he get this unexpalaniable urge that he should go- he needs to go. he brings flowers and gets to see you one last time. 
when niki sees the picture of your serene face, he can’t help but get this sense of peace, like everything’s resolved. 
and then he’s free.
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epilogue...
you sigh, trudging along the walkway on the way to work. looking at your surroundings, you were getting major deja vu. but at this point, you were used to having episodes like that. 
there were many, many times where some things simply felt so familiar. but it was like your memory was wiped and you couldn’t remember why. some times you had flashes of an adventure, a feeling of mystery, a boy. 
ever since some day in high school, it just happened. and from then on, you’ve always felt like something was missing. or wrong. you can’t tell. it became a part of you, to the point where you almost forgot about it. that feeling of misbelonging, being just out of reach. it’s strange, like a weird occurrence that makes you want to open your third eye or whatever to find out more.
even after graduating, it never left you. 
you being so lost in your thoughts, fail to notice when you bump into someone coming off the train you were about to get onto. 
“i’m sorry,” you quickly apologize, but you soon falter when you meet eyes with sparkling brown ones. weirdly enough, they draw you in. 
they were familiar, you’ve certainly seen them somewhere. the moment lasts for a while, with the two of you standing still in the middle of the passway, staring at each other.  
you slowly smile, extending a hand. “i apologize if i’m mistaken, but have we met before?”
he stares at you too, confused yet enthralled. 
“i-i think you may be mistaken,” he starts hesitantly and you begin to apologize. 
“are you sure?“ you quickly introduce yourself, “and you?”
you swore you were not such a desperate person, but you couldn’t help it, not this time and definitely not in front of this particularly alluring guy.  
“me?”
he takes a quick glance at you before taking your hand with a small smile. 
“my name is nishimura riki.”
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first i wanted to say thank you for reading! this was a rough time coming, and i wanted to apologize for the long wait. this has actually been a wip of mine for years and i finally was able to finish it with riki after months and months of writing. this past year has been the worst one so far, but i'm just grateful to still be here. just feeling super appreciative for those who stuck with me and waited patiently. thank you. can't wait to see you guys again soon with the next oneshot (hint hint)!
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fictionismyreality3 · 2 months
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Finally Home
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Price x Reader
Tags: possessive!price if you squint
Warnings: romance and everything that comes with it
Notes: I didn’t mean for this to get so emotional but I’m pms-ing 😭
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After packing up his boots, still coated in the dust of a foreign country, Price slung his well-travelled gear bag over his shoulders. Giving a quick goodbye to Laswell and the rest of those he knew on base, he clambered in his truck, the engine roaring to life as he began the drive back to his little piece of sanctuary.
To you.
The small townhouse was the most you’d allowed Price to buy. Despite his insistence on wanting to get you a massive farm house, you had to remind him that you didn’t know the first thing about horses, let alone sheep.
He remembered that day well. The giggles you gave him while you teased him endlessly, how you eventually signed the papers to the townhouse while sitting on his lap.
His baby.
None of the team knew you personally except Laswell, who you’d met a few times when you were wading through the endless paperwork of trying to marry a man who didn’t exist. The rest of the 141 knew Price had a girl, but to his content possessiveness, none of them knew you were his wife.
Soap had jeered him about you till he landed him self on cleaning duty, Gaz had tried to sweet talk him into divulging the depth of your relationship, and Ghost had even noticed the ring on the chain he wore before he had the chance to tuck it under his shirt.
There was nothing he wanted more than to make sure your life stayed as far removed as possible from his work. Price had lost many nights of sleep when you first started dating, heavy hearted as he weighed the outcomes of you getting involved with him.
So he kept you tucked away, safe from all the dangers he could possibly prevent.
It wasn’t the best situation, especially for a marriage, but somehow after everything he’d done, all the days he’d missed, you were always there, waiting with open arms to welcome him home.
His last deployment had been the toughest in a while. Nothing he couldn’t handle in terms of the mission, but it had been 3 months since he saw you, and 1 since he had to cut contact for the missions sake.
You always understood somehow. The little clues he’d leave you in his messages let you know when he had to go dark for a while.
Love you more than the stars.
A phrase you’d both decided on. Inconspicuous enough that no one with cruel intentions would think much of it, but special for you. It was just something he did to settle your mind on long deployments, let you know he was safe even when he couldn’t talk.
Even though he was back stateside, Price didn’t want to risk sending you a message to let you know he was home, not at least until he could switch out his phone.
Pulling up to your house, he cut the engine to his truck with a little grin, knowing you’d be surprised when he walked in.
The key was still under the pot on the porch, and the house smelled just like it always did, the scent of cinnamon candles you kept constantly burning, even though he told you you needed fresh air, hit his nose instantly. You must have went to those pottery classes he got you, because he could see two new vases on the entryway table. A little lopsided but full of heart.
Just like you.
Price could pick up the faint sound of the tv, knowing you were no doubt on the couch, watching one of your favourite shows. Putting down his bags, he crept his way through the house, avoiding the creaks in the floor, a route he’d memorized a long time ago.
His heart swelled in his chest as he stood in the living room archway, his eyes falling on you instantly. You had a shocked expression on your face and were saying something, probably his name, but he could only hear his blood rushing through his head, could only focus on your pretty face and your pretty everything. How you’d look as you ran towards him, flinging yourself into his arms, your body shaking with your happy cries.
“John..” Your voice broke home out of his reverie.
His arms wrapped around you, tucking you against his chest liked you’d always belonged there. “I’m here now, luvie.” He hushed you, kissing the top of your head.
“I’m home.”
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folkvangr-seidr · 3 months
Text
You're a bad idea.
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Pairing: Cairo Sweet x Dom!Fem!Reader
Summary: Cairo is mesmerized by the new, mysterious student sharing a class with her.
Words: 1.3k
Warnings: cursing, steamy scene (no smut however) I think that's all?
a/n: i'm sorry if it feels a little rushed? i changed the ending almost four times. hope you enjoy!
You hated how everything was changing but still, you felt numb.
You moved to another state, you decided to focus on your writting and suddenly you became a mystery.
Or at least that's how Cairo saw you. And she loved a good mystery more than anything.
More so if the mystery was the new and gorgeous student sharing a class with her.
Yeah, maybe she was getting a little obsessed over someone she had only exchanged a few words with.
She knew very little about you. Your name. The amazing writer you were. The body she only saw once, when you crossed paths in the locker room, you having finished your training with the soccer team, she getting ready for her swimming lessons.
The way you seemed to try to blend in so no one would be able to notice you. But she did. How could she not?
So she found herself, once again, writting about you. The possibilities were endless.
Who were you? Why did you get here halfway through the course?
God, she needed some sleep.
_________
You were late to your first class but you couldn't care less. The creative writting lecturer was really annoying.
You didn't bother knocking on the door and just walked in, getting a few stares from other students AND, obviously, your professor.
"So you decided to finally show up? What an honor" he said.
You chose to ignore him, it was really early in the morning and you didn't have time for coffee before you left home so yes, you felt like shit.
You scanned the room looking for an empty seat somewhere you could just lay low until your eyes landed on Cairo Sweet.
Well, on the spot near her. You walked there and without another word you sat next to her and opened your laptop on your desk, ready to start writting while blocking out your teacher's voice.
You opened your most recent work, knowing full well you didn't have the energy nor the time to finish it right then but you thought you might as well give it a try.
You could feel the burning stare on the side of your head but you decided to ignore it and started typing instead, focusing on your work.
The minutes passed excruciatingly slow and you could feel yourself getting more and more annoyed at the fact that you were unable to focus on the poem you were writing.
"Trouble in paradise?" Cairo asked with a smirk, leaning closer so only you could hear.
You stared at her with no sign of emotion on your face and she felt like you could see clearly every thought she ever had.
"Mind your own bussiness" you retorted.
You saw dissapointment flash across her features before she returned her attention to the stupid lecture and for some reason all you could think about was her smirk, the small dimples on her cheeks and all those freckles.
Fuck, her face was like a sky full of stars.
You tried to focus on your work with little success when Cairo's face haunted your mind.
_________
Class ended and you were the first one to leave, almost as if you were in a rush so when Cairo saw you smoking against a wall near the parking lot she was pleasantly surprised and without thinking it twice, she approached you and snatched the cigarrete from your hand, allowing herself a long drag before looking up at you with that same smirk from before.
You looked at her. Really looked at her. She was gorgeous. Her tiny frame held herself with shameless wonder. You felt like some force was pulling you to her.
"What do you want from me?" you asked.
She laughed and you swear your heart skipped a few beats in that moment.
"That's a great question" she said mischievously "I'm still figuring that out"
Then she stepped closer to you and she placed the cigarrete back in your lips.
"Then find me when you do, Cairo" you said smirking back before turning around and leaving.
She felt confused, she thought she was getting somewhere but she felt like you were always running.
Cairo watched as you started your bike and drove away from the building.
You really needed that coffee now if you wanted to make it to practice later that day.
_________
You were distracted, which earned you a talk from the coach. You scoffed and left the field to sit on the bleachers, as he instructed you.
"Sit back there and cool down, don't want that temper on my team, kid" were his exact words.
You couldn't help it. You either felt numb or mad, there was no in-between.
You watched as the rest of the team finished some drifts and exercises and you joined them, the only answer to your move being a slightly nod from the coach.
Practice finished without further inconvinience but you always decided to run around the field while everybody went home.
You liked the solitude of it.
So you found yourself entering the locker room really late that day. You took off your shirt first thing and then looked around to find no other than Cairo Sweet, her wet hair falling around her shoulders. And she was definitely checking you out.
"Enjoying the view?" you asked raising one eyebrow at her.
"Mhmm" she muttered not looking away from your abs.
You stepped closer to her and that seemed to put her out of her trance and look straight to your face. She was blushing and biting her lower lip.
"I will ask again, Cairo. What do you want?" you took another step closer.
Her eyes darted back and forth between your eyes and you lips as she licked hers.
"I want you, Y/N" she said breathless.
And she sounded so sure of it.
Your eyes darkened as she leaned closer to you so she could trace her hand against your jaw.
"So pretty…" she said.
Something inside of you switched and in a swift movement you grabbed her hand above her head and guided her backwards until her back made contact with the locker behind her.
"Fuck" she whimpered.
You leaned so close that she could feel your breath against her mouth.
"That's what you want, Cairo? You want me to fuck you?" you demanded.
"Y-yes" she was breathing hard and you were enjoying every bit.
You released her hand and she placed it on your shoulder, tugging for you to get even closer, while your hand made its way to her collarbone, you traced it slowly and then you placed it on her throat, with just enough force to keep her head in place as you finally closed the gap and smashed your lips agains hers, kissing her hard.
You shivered when you felt her hand tracing down your torso, taking her time around your top to finally rest on your abs.
She moaned when your tongue traced her lower lip, asking for permission which she happily complied.
The sound of a door closing took you both out of your steamy make out session and you felt your body tense when you pulled apart.
"I have to go" you said "Didn't mean to start a fire" you added smirking at her.
And with that you grabbed your things and left her there, speechless and aching for you.
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slytherinslut0 · 6 months
Text
MATTHEO RIDDLE- Beg For Me
Chapter Thirteen-Info: You and Mattheo have been butting heads for months, since you were assigned as his tutor, and one day during a session full of tense bickering, he has enough.
(This will essentially be a toxic book where we are Theos fucktoy. No love here, very minimal fluff.)
Tags: 18+, SMUT, Sub!Reader, Dom!Mattheo, Dirty Talk, Toxic Behaviour, Angst, Praise Kink, Degradation Kink, Jealousy, Possessive Behaviours, Emotional Manipulation, Begging, ThighRiding, Masturbation.
****FIND THE REST OF THE CHAPTERS HERE.
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The moment you stepped into Mattheo's private dorm, a whirlwind of conflicting emotions churned within you. The room, drenched in shadows and dimly lit by a few strategically placed candles, seemed to echo his enigmatic personality. Deep emerald and silver tapestries adorned the walls, and the air was heavy with the scent of sandalwood, mingled with the faint aroma of whiskey, creating a heady atmosphere that hung like a thick fog.
Your anger simmered just below the surface as you practically shoved Mattheo off you, his arrogant figure slumping onto the edge of the opulent bed, running a battered hand through his messy hair as he stared at you. The room's opulence felt suffocating, practically a mirrored image of the turmoil roaring within you. Your eyes roamed the space, catching glimpses of Mattheo's life--scattered parchment filled with scribbled notes, half-empty potion vials, and a tangle of dark robes strewn carelessly on a chair.
You couldn't ignore the mounting frustration, the way his careless demeanor clashed with the chaos he had unleashed in your life.
"This," you seethed, running your hands through your hair as you fought to keep your voice steady, "this has to stop, all of this."
Mattheo met your gaze, his expression unreadable. The room seemed to shrink around you, suffocating you between its walls. Your anger crackled like electricity in the charged air, the weight of the night's events pressing on your chest like a crushing burden. You knew you should leave, escape the suffocating atmosphere of his room, but an inexplicable force held you in place, rooted to the spot. The battle within you raged on, torn between the allure of his dangerous world and the need to protect your own sanity.
"Here we go again," Mattheo mumbled, his voice carrying a tinge of exhaustion, collapsing back on his green duvet. "Give it to me, Raven. Get it all out."
"Can you please not be insufferable for five fucking minutes?" Your words sliced through the charged air, your frustration escalating with his casual dismissal of your anger. "Do you even understand what just happened? Your already suspicious brother just found me walking you back to your dorm on a Saturday fucking night while you pretended to be blackout..."
You took a determined step forward, your anger palpable, radiating off you like heat waves. "Oh, but wait, you wouldn't know that he was suspicious, because when I tried to tell you about it, you basically told me to shut the fuck up, among other things..." you let your words hang, heavy and loaded, hoping they would pierce through his indifference. "Your ignorance is going to ruin my life, Mattheo. I don't think you realize it...or maybe you do, and you just don't care."
"My brother doesn't know fuck all." Mattheo grumbled, his frustration evident as he brought both palms to his face, rubbing his eyes wearily. "And even if he did, what's he going to do? He has no proof."
You rolled your eyes, exasperation boiling within you. "He could still kick me out of the guild...could tarnish my reputation with Dumbledore...the possibilities are fucking endless, Mattheo. Didn't you see the way he was looking at me? Did you not hear what he said?"
"Yeah, I saw the way he was looking at you alright," he said, irritation lacing his words. "Fucking pri-"
"Enough, Mattheo," you spat, your voice cutting through the air as you stepped closer to him. "Stop acting like you own me, like I'm yours to protect, control, or possess. It's time to face the facts. This is becoming too much. We've both admitted that we can't stop thinking about each other...how can we continue this after that?"
"Same way we always have, Raven," Mattheo said, sitting up to meet your eyes, leaning back on his palms. "We have this conversation every week. One of us says we can't do this anymore, but then the cycle continues...you know you can't resist this..."
"Gods, Mattheo...even on my tiptoes I wouldn't be able to reach your fucking ego." You hissed, stepping closer again, your skin pricking with frustration. "And I love how you say that like I've ever had a choice...like you haven't already embedded yourself in my fucking soul..."
Mattheo's lips parted as if he wanted to say something, but he remained silent, his eyes searching yours for answers. The air between you crackled with tension, heavy with unspoken emotions. His usual confidence wavered, and for the first time, he seemed at a loss for words.
"I was fine with this until you took it too far, until you started making things complicated...the Tom thing has me sick..." you continued, your voice softening despite the anger that still lingered within you. "We're trapped in this vicious circle, Mattheo. Every time I try to pull away, you pull me back in, or vice versa...we're both tangled in this mess we've created, and I don't know how to break free..."
His expression remained unreadable, a mixture of frustration and helplessness flickering in his eyes. It was as if the reality of your words had finally caught up with him, forcing him to confront the depth of your entanglement. A heavy silence settled between you, Mattheo's gaze locked onto yours, his facade of indifference crumbling in the face of your honesty. He swallowed hard, his throat working visibly, but no words escaped his lips.
"Why?" you whispered, the weight of your words hanging in the tense space between you, crackling with unspoken emotion. You took a single step closer, your eyes searching his for a glimmer of understanding. "Why can't you admit that this needs to stop? That this can't continue?"
Mattheo blinked, his gaze flickering over your face, his lips parted, and his voice, tinged with uncertainty, left his throat in a hoarse whisper. "I...I don't know."
"You don't know?" you hissed, frustration bubbling within you. "You're willing to ruin my fucking life over an I don't know? Do you seriously hate me that much?"
As though a switch had been flipped, Mattheo stood, closing the distance between your bodies in a movement so forceful that you stumbled backward. His large palm found your arm, steadying you in place in front of him. His eyes, darker than the midnight sky, bored into you, filled with emotions you couldn't decipher.
"I don't hate you, Raven," he said, his voice firm, the intensity of his gaze paralyzing you.
Your heart stalled, your body near collapsing under the weight of his words. "You don't--"
"I never hated you," he repeated, his tone harsher this time, his grip on your arm tightening. "I couldn't fucking hate you even if I tried, and believe me, I have tried."
You were left speechless, entirely at a loss for words. The revelation shook you to your core. "You...but..."
"You make me fucking crazy, you make me feel like I'm always on the verge of losing control...and I don't lose control, Raven...not like this..." he growled, his voice a low, husky timbre that sent shivers down your spine.
Anger radiated off him, tangible and wild, as if it could set the room ablaze, surrounding your body with ease.
"You're a fucking mystery...everyone sees you as the school's brilliant little good girl, buried in books and academics...but underneath all that, you're so much more..." his free hand found your other arm, pulling you closer. "You're everything...you're honest, remarkably witty, and fuck, you have the sharpest snark that could keep any bloody asshat on their fucking toes..."
The intensity of his gaze softened for a fleeting moment, revealing a hint of vulnerability beneath the rage.
"You said I don't know half of the woman you are, but I do...I know all too fucking well, and part of me wished I didn't..." his voice was almost a whisper now, your heart hammering against your sternum like a frantic caged bird. "And that's only because you make it impossible to hate you."
"You're drunk..." your breath hitched, caught in the raw honesty of his words. The air seemed charged with tension, heavy with unspoken desires and regrets. "You don't mean any of this..."
Mattheo's jaw clenched, the tension in the room escalating with each passing moment. His grip on you tightened, the pressure sending a shiver down your spine. His chest rose and fell in shallow bursts, his internal turmoil mirrored in his intense gaze. It felt like his words were crashing against the walls of your mind, struggling to find a place to settle, leaving you in a state of emotional disarray. He averted his eyes, as if seeking refuge from the intensity of the moment, his silence speaking volumes, his thoughts a storm brewing behind his gaze.
"Raven...I..." his voice escaped him like a fragile whisper, hanging in the charged air between you. "I don't hate you...I hate Berkshire for fucking touching you...I hate my brother for trying to fucking get with you...I even hate Zabini because I overheard him telling Malfoy that he'd have your virginity in a fucking day if he tried..."
His words hung heavy in the room, a raw confession that left you speechless. Mattheo's eyes, usually steely and confident, now held a vulnerability you had never seen before. The truth of his emotions enveloped the space between you, suffocating yet strangely liberating. You found your voice, the words tumbling out before you could stop them.
"I don't want you to hate anyone...you shouldn't hate anyone over a girl you can never fucking be with..." you said, your voice laced with a mix of frustration and resignation, the reality of your situation hanging heavy in the air. "Don't you see the problems here..."
Mattheo's throat bobbed as he swallowed, his eyes clouded with an emotion he refused to acknowledge. Slowly, he released his grip on you, his fingers trailing away reluctantly as he retreated towards the worn-out couch in the corner. With a flick of his wand, he cast a spell that enveloped the room, muffling any sound and concealing the scent of the illicit substances he was about to indulge in.
Sinking into the couch, he seemed to meld into the shadows, the dim light casting eerie shadows across his face. His hands moved with practiced ease, rolling a blunt with expert precision. The room filled with the acrid aroma of marijuana as he took a long, deliberate drag, the smoke swirling around him like a protective veil, momentarily shrouding his vulnerability.
"You're right," he said, exhaling slowly, the smoke curling around him like a shield. "I see the problems, Raven. I see them crystal fucking clear."
Your heart pounded forcefully, its rhythm echoing the turmoil within you. Mattheo's ease with the weed fascinated and disturbed you simultaneously. He inhaled the smoke effortlessly, hardly flinching at its burn, filling the room with a scent that made your head spin and your body loosen, momentarily dulling the ache that was roaring through your limbs. Your throat felt drier than cotton, aching with the need for moisture, as you released a long, shuddering sigh. You blinked, unable to tear your eyes away from him, taking a hesitant step closer.
"Why do you do that?" Your voice was a fragile whisper, laden with genuine curiosity. "Drink, smoke...it's like you're never sober."
Mattheo's eyes flickered with a mix of emotions, a guard descending over his features as he took another drag from the blunt. The smoke swirled around him like a protective shield, veiling his true sentiments.
"It's numbing, Raven," he said, his voice a low rasp, smoke curling around his words as he spoke. "Quiets the chaos for a little while." He paused, his eyes locking onto yours, a raw honesty flickering in their depths. "And it’s just a temporary fix...then I'm back to reality, back to wanting things I can't have."
Your pulse quickened; Gods, he was scarily vulnerable tonight. You'd never seen this side of him, and it left you utterly bewildered. Every word he uttered tugged at the strings of your empathy, threatening to unravel your carefully crafted resolve. You knew you had to put an end to this, had to sever the ties that bound you, but his vulnerability was like a persuasive melody, tempting you to stay, to comfort him, to succumb once more to the magnetic pull of his pretty words.
In an attempt to lighten the mood, you huffed, forcing a small, half smile. "Those pesky demons, huh..."
Mattheo's laughter rippled through the room, punctuated by the tendrils of smoke that swirled around him like spectral dancers.
"Yeah," he said, the bitterness in his voice cutting through the air, his tone dropping to a near-missable whisper. "Who would have known that the worst one would be disguised as a fuckin' sweet little angel..."
For the hundredth time in twenty minutes, you felt like your lungs had seized function, the air in the room growing heavy. The smoke from the blunt hung in the air, a haze of confusion and desire, intertwining with your senses. Your fingers trembled, desperate for the feeling of being buried inside his hair, craving the intimacy that only Mattheo could provide.
Unable to find the right words, you let your feet carry you closer to him, drawn like a moth to a flame. His eyes met yours, the intensity in the room building with each step, an unspoken understanding hanging in the air like a storm on the horizon. As you stopped roughly an arms length away from where he was seated, the room seemed to pulse with raw, unspoken desire, the tension between you reaching a breaking point, yet neither of you dared to move further. The world outside ceased to exist, leaving only the two of you in a suspended moment, where everything seemed possible and yet infinitely complicated.
"Come here, Raven..." he murmured, putting the blunt out on the tray next to the couch. "Please."
The moment he'd uttered that word, the moment it had left his lips, your defiance crumbled, leaving your sanity in tatters. With timid steps, you approached him, and he drew you onto his lap. Your thighs straddled him, his battered hands finding firm a hold on your hips, the grip so tight it felt like it could crush bones. The intensity of his touch ignited flames on your flesh, just like it has done endless times before.
For a heartbeat, time seemed to stand still, your surroundings fading into insignificance. His touch became a lifeline, grounding you in the tumultuous sea of emotions. His lips barely moved as he uttered the words, each syllable laced with a heaviness that echoed the weight of your shared desires.
"One more night," he murmured, his voice a soft caress against the charged air. "Then that's it."
A reluctant agreement hung on your lips, the weight of reality pressing down on your shoulders like an unbearable burden. The ache of impending separation settled in your chest, and yet, you couldn't deny the magnetic pull that kept drawing you back into his arms, no matter the cost.
"One more night," you whispered, your voice barely audible, as if acknowledging the fleeting nature of your shared moments would make them more tangible, more real. "Then we're done."
A soft hand glided along your side, its roughened patches snagging slightly on the fibers of your cardigan. He traced the contours with a careful touch, his gaze drifting down to your chest, tracing the hidden curves beneath your attire. With a subtle pull at the hem, he met your eyes once more.
"Take this off..." he whispered, the desperation clear in his tone. "Take it all off."
Not needing a second prompt, your trembling fingers delicately worked on the buttons, skillfully releasing each one, your eyes never wavering from his intense gaze. His hands, possessing a gentle yet electrifying touch, traced a sensuous journey up your thighs, leaving a trail of goosebumps in their wake. Every movement felt like a carefully orchestrated dance, a silent agreement between you two.
The sweater cascaded to the floor, a soft thud underscoring the charged atmosphere, before your hands moved to your blouse, the air thick with anticipation and desire. As soon as it was undone, Mattheo helped you shimmy it off and tossed it onto the growing pile on the floor. You shivered at the sudden cold air on your bare chest but the warmth from his body quickly enveloped you, heart stalling as he leaned into you, reaching behind your back to expertly undo your bra. After a moment, it too fell to the ground.
"Fuck..." he purred, darkened obsidian eyes fixed on your chest. "Look at you..."
His hand moved to your neck, his thumb tracing a path down your collarbone, before sliding over to one of your breasts. As he twisted and pinched your nipple, your head fell back with a moan, your body arching towards him, evoking a deep growl from his chest. Your hands moved to the hem of your skirt, ready to peel it off your body when he halted you, pulling your hands up to rest on his shoulders.
"That can stay on..." he murmured, voice hoarse with desire. "My sexy girl in her short little uniform skirt."
He leaned in to capture one of your breasts in his mouth, his tongue flicking over the sensitive skin and sending shivers of pleasure through your body. You moaned, sinking deeper into his lap as pleasure overtook you, shuddering as you felt the outline of his erection pressing against your needy centre.
"Take off your panties," he commanded gruffly, his hand moving to slip his fingers beneath the waistband of your skirt. "I want to feel you..."
You eagerly complied, shimmying out of your panties and tossing them aside. A moment of hesitation washed over you, a wave of shyness and vulnerability making you feel exposed. Your gaze faltered, tracing a path from his lips to his chest, a nervous lump forming in your throat. Despite the anxiety, your fingers found their resolve and moved to the buttons on his shirt, meeting his eyes once more as you began to slowly undo them.
"I want to feel you, too, Matty..." you murmured, your voice horse as he met your eyes. "Please..."
Without wasting a second more of time, Mattheo manoeuvred himself out of his shirt, tossing it to the pile on the floor before leaning back, allowing your eyes to roam his now bare chest. Your lungs stalled, your cunt clenching with need as your gaze trailed from his thick shoulders, adorned with a tapestry of scars, cuts, and bruises--down to his defined, sculpted abs.
Each mark seemed to carry a weighty narrative, a testament to his resilience and strength. Your eyes traced the lines and contours, your thoughts weaving a web of admiration and empathy. Mattheo's abs were sculpted with precision, each muscle defined and rippling beneath his skin. They formed a chiseled landscape, emphasizing his strength and dedication to physical fitness. The play of light and shadows in the room accentuated the contours, creating a captivating pattern that drew the eye. His abdomen, toned and firm, brought an unspeakable heat between your thighs.
Mattheo's gaze raked over your naked body, lips parted in exasperation, releasing a long breath before he shifted closer only a little bit, his eyes focused on your hips.
"Do you ever touch yourself?" he asked, his voice a husky whisper, slipping his hand toward your heat.
Your lungs stalled, taken aback by the question, but when his eyes met yours, you nodded, feeling a flush of embarrassment spread over your face.
"And do you think of me when you do it?" he continued, his thumb circling your clit and sending jolts of pleasure through you.
"Yes," you gasped, your hips moving involuntarily against his hand. "I do..."
Mattheo's eyes were intense, locked onto yours as he stimulated your body, jaw tensing as you ground against his crotch, fingers digging into the flesh on his shoulders as though it could anchor you to reality.
"Yeah?" He leaned in further, nibbling on your earlobe, slowing his pace on your clit, leaving you squirming against him. "You think of my hands? Touching you like this?..."
Your breath caught in your throat at his bold question, but there was no denying the raw desire coursing through your veins. You nodded, your voice barely a whisper.
"Yes, Mattheo..." you gasped as he sunk his teeth into your earlobe now, groaning as your fingers dug into his skin. "Your hands...your mouth...all of it..."
A wicked grin curved on his lips as he leaned back, his eyes locked with yours. "Show me," he murmured. "I want you to touch yourself for me...show me what you like...show me the effect I fucking have on you..."
Without giving you a chance to respond, Mattheo's strong hands gripped your hips, pulling you closer before he shifted you over so that you were straddling only one of his thick thighs, covered still by the fabric of his black trousers. You gasped as a jolt of arousal shot through you, and he leaned in close, hands finding purchase on your hips.
"Ride my thigh," he said roughly, his eyes dark with desire. "Show me how you'll take care of yourself since I won't be able to anymore..."
Your heart slammed your sternum, an unadulterated lust scorching your skin melding with an inexplicable hurt in your chest. Masking your pain, you pulled bottom lip between your teeth, slowly beginning to roll your hips against his thigh, gasping as you felt his muscles flex beneath you.
"Yeah, just like that, Raven..." Mattheo growled, aiding your hips in moving, gripping them tightly with his strong hands and pressing you down firmly against him. "Fuck, you're so wet...that's all for me, isn't it?"
He watched you intently, his gaze focused on every move you made, and as you rubbed yourself against his leg, his eyes turning darker with desire.
"Yes, Matty..." you moaned, breath torn with overwhelming pleasure. "All-fuck-all for you..."
His abs flexed as you moved against him, rippling beneath his skin with each thrust. You could feel the heat radiating from his body and smell the scent of his musk, making you wild with need for him. Your fingers moved to your clit, rubbing fast circles around it as you felt the pleasure rolling through you. You whimpered softly, the heat building into a slow burn as the sensations grew more intense. You spread your legs wider, pressing down on Mattheo's thigh with increasing pressure as you moved faster.
Mattheo watched in rapt attention, his gaze fixed on your fingers as they played with your clit. His own body was tense with desire, and you could feel the heat radiating from him, singlehandedly spurring you on.As you continued to grind against his thigh, you could feel the pleasure building to an almost unbearable crescendo. Every movement, every touch of your fingers, every flex of Mattheo's muscles was driving you toward the edge of ecstasy.
"Fucking hell, Raven..." he groaned through barred teeth. His gaze was fixed on you, intense and hungry, like a predator stalking its prey. "You're making me so fucking hard..."
His body was a wonderland beneath you: hard and smooth, with rippling abs and strong thighs that tensed and relaxed as you worked yourself against him.
"Shit..." you mewled, spurred on by his words, his eyes, his hands, everything about him. "You wish I was doing this on your cock, don't you, Matty..."
The sensations were overwhelming: the friction of your slickness against his leg, the feel of his hands on your hips, the sound of your breathing growing ragged and uneven as you drew closer to orgasm. You pressed down harder, panting with need as you felt the waves of pleasure crashing over you. Mattheo's eyes never left you, drinking in every detail of your movements, savouring the sight of your flushed skin, your lips parted in ecstasy, and the way your body quivered with desire.
"Fuck, yes, baby..." his pupils dilated with a mix of satisfaction and hunger, feeding off your pleasure as though it were his own. "I would fuck you so fucking good...I'd make you cum on my cock so many times you'd lose count..."
"Oh...shit..." His abs flexed noticeably with each grind of your hips, the defined muscles contorting beneath his smooth, pale skin. You could feel the power and strength beneath your fingertips as you reached out to touch his sculpted abdomen, tracing the lines and feeling the firmness beneath your touch. "I wish you fucking would..."
The sensation of your fingers sliding against your clit sent electric sparks of pleasure coursing through your entire body. The strokes became faster, more urgent, driving you closer to the edge. Every nerve ending was alight with desire, amplifying every sensation, every breathless moan that escaped your lips.
"Don't fucking say that right now, Raven..." his hands gripped your hips tighter, pulling you against him with even more force. "I'm barely fucking holding on...one more word like that and I'd flip you over so fucking fast..."
Your eyes rolled, your lungs sputtering, his words filling your veins with magma. "Fuck, Mattheo..."
As he watched you, he began to grind his own groin against your thigh, adding to the sensations that were already pushing you toward orgasm.
"God you're so fucking hot," he murmured, his voice low and breathless. "I'll be thinking about this every time I jerk off...fuck, you're just the dirtiest little thing Raven..."
You could feel the muscles beneath your skin tensing, ready to explode with pleasure. Every touch from Mattheo was like fire on your skin, every sound he made was like fuel to your already raging inferno. You could hear his breath quickening as well, matching the rapid pace of your own.
His grip on your hips tightened, his voice tight as he fought through a groan. "You're close aren't you, princess?"
"Yes," you moaned, head falling back, fingers increasing their pace on your clit. "I'm so close, Matty..."
"Fuck," his breathing was ragged as he ground his groin against your thigh. "Beg for me, bitch...beg to cum all over my thigh like the good little slut I know are."
The words sent a thrill through your body, stoking the fire that was already burning within you. You met his gaze with wide, pleading eyes, your orgasm on the very edge of rattling through you.
"Please, Matty..." you whispered, the desperation clear in your tone. "Please let me cum...please let me cum for you..."
"Mm." Mattheo's fingers dug into your skin as he ground his groin against your thigh, his movements growing more urgent as he sensed your climax building. "That's it, let go for me baby..."
Your whole body tensed as you felt your orgasm approaching, like a wave rising inside you. Mattheo's leg was slick with your arousal, and the thought of covering him completely sent you over the edge. You cried out, your voice raw with pleasure, as the first tidal wave of your orgasm hit you like a fucking train. Your whole body shook as you rode out the waves of pleasure, your hips bucking against Mattheo's leg. He held you close the entire time, his hands gripping you tightly as you convulsed in ecstasy.
Your breath came in short pants as you slowly came back to yourself, your head resting against his chest. Mattheo let you catch your breath for a few moments, his own breathing still ragged as he held you close. Finally, he leaned back to look into your eyes, his hand cupping your cheek.
"You're beautiful," he whispered, admiration clear in his voice. "Absolutely fucking filthy...but beautiful...so beautiful..."
Your heart swelled with affection for him, and you leaned in to kiss him without even really thinking twice about it, his lips were hot and insistent against yours, his tongue tangling with yours in a heated dance. His hands roamed over your body, tracing every curve and dip with hungry fingers. You could feel the fire starting to build within you again, the memory of his touch sending shivers down your spine, his insistent erection pressing against your thigh, your fingers crawling down his chest before softly grazing over it.
"Let me take care of you now," you whispered, your words a gentle caress against his lips, acutely aware of the rapid beat of his heart beneath your touch. "Last chance, Matty..."
"No." His response was unwavering, his grip firm yet tender as he pulled you closer, repositioning both of you so you lay lengthwise on the couch. His body enveloped yours, offering a comforting embrace, while his fingers traced a soothing path, brushing your hair away from your face. "You've done more than enough for me."
Your mind reeled with disbelief, completely taken aback by the intimacy of the moment. Your body tensed involuntarily as you found yourself pressed against the warmth of his chest, small beads of sweat glistening off his skin. Inhaling sharply, you caught a scent that mingled with his natural aroma, a hint of weed still lingering in the air. As you exhaled, a sense of surrender washed over you, your eyelids growing heavy with drowsiness as you eventually drifted off without even realizing it.
—————-
Here’s chapter fourteen->
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kamisatomay018 · 5 months
Text
It’s called being in love, Silly!
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Neuvillette x fem!reader
angst with lots of comfort, very fluff, our poor hydro dragon struggling to understand his feelings. I hope you enjoy<3
It had been raining in Fontaine for 4 days straight now. No one knew why, yet the citizens were so used to the unstable weather conditions that all they could do was grumble about it and continue with their day. The cause of this endless rain happened to be sitting all alone in his huge office, staring blankly on the papers sitting on his desk, too lost in thought to do anything.
Neuvillette had a hard time understanding human emotions, despite being among them for over 400 years now. And just when he thought he was beginning to understand emotions like joy, sorrow, guilt, surprise and what not, a new emotion unlike any other came crashing down on him, that too unexpectedly: Love.
Sure, he had seen many, many people in love over these years. He had witnessed the love between couples, between families, friends and had read about it too, but he had never experienced it, until that one fateful day when his eyes landed on you, crouching down to examine a rainbow rose that had been crushed and withered, only to fix it using your dendro powers. He couldn’t help but be captivated by you instantly. While most humans would simply ignore the flower or throw it away, here you were, fixing it and giving it another chance to bloom again. He had also noticed how breathtakingly beautiful you were, and for the first time in his long life, he felt such weird feelings within him- his heartbeat accelerating, his stomach feeling uneasy. Only he knew how many glasses of water it had taken for him to return back to normal. And as if it was written in the stars, he kept encountering you often, and in the blink of an eye he developed..strange feelings for you. He loved being in your company, he shared his worries with you, your presence felt serene and your words would calm down the crashing waves in his heart.
To his utter surprise, one day he found himself standing in front of you, hearing your honeyed voice shyly confessing your love for him, and ever since that day, you both had decided to take a chance at being together. Neuvillette was very inexperienced when it came to love and he had told you that very honestly, but you were ready to teach him, to be patient with him. 8 months had passed by since, and it’s safe to say that he had been very happy in your company. Sure, he was still awkward and stiff, not initiating physical contact or romantic gestures because he just couldn’t understand them, but he was also a great lover. Always calm and gentle, taking care of your every necessity, taking note of your likes and dislikes. He had even opened up to you about being the hydro dragon sovereign, about his past and his hobbies. To his delight, you always tried to indulge in his hobby of water tasting, even listening to his intricate explanations about the taste of the water from each land. If things were going so well, then what could’ve possibly happened that made the hydro dragon so upset?
Well, two months ago you had moved into his apartment upon his request, and you both had developed a morning routine soon enough. Your love language was physical touch, but you always made sure to respect Neuvillette’s space. You both had not even shared a kiss yet, and the only skin ship, aka hugs and holding hands, had been initiated by you always. But of course, you didn’t mind because Neuvillette wasn’t a bad lover, he just needed time. After moving in with him, you had requested him to let you do his hair, for you absolutely loved caressing his long locks. His draconic features were so fascinating for you, and doing his hair would give you the excuse of admiring them up close. He had agreed, and ever since then, every morning you’d help him get ready, making sure the Iudex looked dapper and proper for his job.
However, a week ago, while brushing his hair, you had very softly caressed his horns, an action that had made his body stiffen and his breath hitch. Various insane emotions had emerged that very moment, emotions like his heart literally skipping a few beats, his stomach feeling all uneasy again and chills running down his spine. He hadn’t complained however, so you thought that he was okay with it. You continued doing that for the next three days, until the following morning, to your surprise and agony, Neuvillette had very stiffly asked you to not touch his horns.
You apologised immediately, trying to control the ache in your heart, blinking away the tears burning in your eyes. There was an awkwardness in the air that morning, and you hadn’t even hugged him goodbye as he left. How could you? Insecurities stirred in your heart, as you felt that your touch made him uncomfortable, because his tone wasn’t soft, it was stiff and hurried, which made your heart sink in hurt. That day you sat alone on the couch, overthinking about your relationship with neuvillette. Had he ever told you that he loved you? …No, he had not..he had told you that he liked you, liked being around you on the day you confessed your love for him, and had accepted your feelings. Was it out of pity? You had never told him how you longed for his warmth, for him to just hold you close, for him to at least kiss your forehead, or hold your hand. It was always you, and now he had asked you to not touch him. Tears rolled down your cheeks, and from that day, you had stopped initiating physical contact with him. Yes, you still did his hair, but you never hugged him anymore, you never held his hand, never touched his horns.
Neuvillette on the other hand, felt yet another wave of emotions crash down on him because of your distance. Why were these feelings so complicated? Ever since then, rain had been pouring down on Fontaine. Now he felt himself miss your embrace, the feeling of your smaller hand holding his. He had noticed the sadness looming in your beautiful eyes, how you had been more silent, how there was a heaviness between you both that neither of you spoke about. He truly hadn’t meant to hurt your feelings, in fact, all of this was a huge misunderstanding.
The reason why neuvillette asked you to not touch his horns was because he was shy! When you caressed his draconic features with so much love and care, it made his heart jump, his ears turn slightly red while he bit the inside of his cheek to not burst into his biggest smile. It felt weird- but in a way that was too good for him to handle! He just couldn’t understand what was going on with him. Is this what love is like? And why is it so darn difficult? There were so many things he wanted to say to you, but he held himself back. He wanted to hug you so tight, smother you with kisses and cling onto you, after all he was a dragon who was touch starved. But his mind told him that these thoughts were inappropriate, which caused him to come off as rude and cause that dreaded incident, which had now ruined everything. Just why couldn’t he improve, and be a good lover? Surely, he didn’t deserve an angel like you.
Today morning, he had invited Furina to visit him in his office to discuss this issue with her. She may not be an archon anymore, but she was still his dearest friend in whom he placed great trust. When he told her about all of this, to his shock, she burst out laughing! “Hahaha, oh my goodness Neuvillette!” He looked at her, absolutely baffled. “Miss Furina, I do not understand how any of this is funny.” After what seemed like ages, she calmed down her laughter, looking at him with an expression which indicated that everything was so obvious. “All the feelings you’re experiencing is called being in love silly! You’re in love with her, and such things happen! The uneasiness in your stomach is what humans like to call butterflies in their stomach, and is good! It is not wrong to crave her touch, to want to hold her close! In fact, I’m sure she must be dying to feel your affection in these 8 months!”
Neuvillette processed each word carefully, guilt seeping into his heart slowly. “So..you mean to say that..” Furina looked at him with a soft smile, nodding. “Yes, you have hurt her feelings, yes, you might have made her feel insecure. But! It’s not too late! Go talk to her, be honest about your feelings. Tell her that you love her.” Neuvillette looked down in remorse, realisation about many things settling in his mind. “I…have been a terrible partner to her..Will she even forgive me?” Furina placed a hand on his shoulder, smiling assuringly. “She loves you, and she understands you. But unless and until you’re honest with her, she can’t help you right? I’m sure she’ll forgive you, but you will have to make sure to not let her down.” “I cannot lose her, I’ll be sure to be a better partner..” Furina smiled happily, getting up. “Well then it’s settled! Good luck Neuvillette!” He smiled fondly, thanking her dearly. His mind was made up; tonight he would apologise for his behaviour and be completely honest with you.
Looking outside the window, you sighed softly seeing the rain. You weren’t a fool, you knew that something about you was bothering him. But what had you done now? You both had been so distant, so awkward since that incident that it was tearing you apart now. But if this is what he wanted, you could do nothing but respect his wishes. Sighing softly you heard the door to your apartment open, going like usual to greet him. However, today, for the first time you saw Neuvillette standing in front of you, a bouquet of fresh and glowing rainbow roses in his hand along with your favourite desserts. “Neuvi..?”
What he did next completely knocked the air out of your lungs, and took the words right out of your mouth- literally. The next thing you felt were the softest pair of lips against your own, making you freeze for a moment. Neuvillette had kissed you? On his own? But your body reacted faster than your brain, melting in his embrace as you gladly returned his kiss. Oh archons, nothing could feel better than this. Your lips moved together in perfect harmony, crashing together like the waves gently crash against the ocean floor. As you wrapped your arms around his neck, he pulled you closer, losing himself in the feeling of this foreign sensation. Your hearts were beating together in sync, faster than ever.
He then pulled apart ever so softly, opening his beautiful lilac eyes, staring at you with such tenderness that it made your cheeks flush. “Mon amour, I am so terribly sorry..I have been a bad lover..” You frowned at his words, cupping his cheeks softly. “No neuvi, don’t say that..” He shook his head, hugging you close, and you felt his body relax and melt into yours, just like you. “It’s the truth darling..please forgive me, I never meant to hurt your feelings that day, I never felt uncomfortable..I..I wish to be completely honest with you, and what I’m about to say might sound..ridiculous at best..” You smiled softly, glad to finally be able to talk to him, moreover be in his embrace. “Your feelings are never ridiculous..please talk to me, I’m right here to listen.”
He took a deep breath, being completely honest with you. “The truth is..that I want nothing more than to be close to you..I crave your touch, I crave to hold you close, for my draconic instincts make me naturally possessive and clingy towards you..When I am with you, my heart goes insane, I get butterflies in my stomach, I feel…shy, but so happy…However, these feelings are so foreign to me, that my mind makes me think it is..inappropriate. My lack of knowledge about love makes it worse..the truth is that my thoughts have been holding me back from being completely honest with you, and I know it is in no way an excuse that can justify my behaviour..I have made you feel unloved and insecure, and that fact alone is the biggest punishment for me..”
To say that your heart melted in an instant was an understatement. You felt so relieved, so glad that he was finally honest with you. You understood his feelings, you knew love was so complicated, and with him being a dragon, all these emotions were unnatural for him. As humans, fantasising about love and experiencing it is very simple. But neuvillette has been alone all his life, and love is far from what he has ever received. “Oh Neuvi..I understand you, but these feelings aren’t wrong! If your instincts tell you to hold me close, then please do it! I won’t be uncomfortable, in fact I crave your embrace..I feel so comforted and safe in your arms, your touch feels warm and gives me unexplainable joy..”
Neuvillette looked into your eyes, in disbelief that he had found the most kind, understanding and beautiful woman as his lover. “I..cannot thank you enough for how patient and understanding you’ve been with me..I give you my word, I will be better for you Mon Amour.” You gave him that sweet big smile of yours, one that always made his heart skip a beat. “You are the best already! You just need to let go of your formalities and be yourself with me..I promise you, I will not leave you..I love you for who you are Neuvillette..”
“I love you too Mon Amour..”
Your eyes widened, and at that moment you felt joy unlike any other. Finally, he said it. “Say that again, please..” He chuckled softly, placing a sweet kiss on your forehead. “I love you so much..” you laughed out of pure joy, hugging him so tight, feeling ecstatic. Your joy was contagious, for neuvillette felt himself smile wide, caressing your hair softly. “As..for what happened that morning..you touching my horns didn’t make me uncomfortable..On the contrary, it made me..extremely flustered and shy, it felt very soothing but so..unexplainably foreign that I asked you to stop, which I never wanted..I suppose I didn’t expect anyone to admire my draconic features like that..”
You pouted at his words, looking up at him sweetly. “But your features are absolutely beautiful! I love how unique they make you, that is why I wished to admire them…after all I want to love every part of you equally..” Hearing your words, Neuvillette let out a breath of relief “I do not deserve you..” You smiled at him, leaning into his touch. “On the contrary, you are the only one who deserves me..Don’t be afraid to be vulnerable and shy in front of me, it’s all normal! Besides, I love it when you smile, it makes me happy..”
He ends up laughing softly at your words, a sweet pink tint adorning his cheeks “If that’s the case Mon amour, then I’m afraid you’ll have to smile more, for your happiness is contagious in the best ways possible..” Both of you giggled at that, a newfound sense of love blossoming in your hearts. Your bond had strengthened even more, the rain had completely stopped while all the flowers in Fontaine were in full bloom. Perhaps being in love isn’t that complicated, Neuvillette thought. With you by his side, he’s sure he’d learn in no time.
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alpurrtwhizkersss · 1 year
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Omg you're taking six of crows requests?!?
Can I get a Kaz x fem!reader where the two of them are a couple (or trying to be) like Kaz is less snappy towards her, they're working on his touch aversion and everything.
But then on a heist gone wrong reader is hurt/stabbed/shot and falls into the Harbour, and Kaz is terrified because of the water but he's more terrified of losing his girl and he realizes that none of the other crows will reach her in time so he dives into the water to save her and when he drags her back onto the dock they just hug each other and the reader is apologizing for ruining the heist, Kaz is just holding her tightly and telling her it's ok, she's safe and that's how the rest of the crows find them, curled up at the end of the dock. Maybe some soft kisses?
Kaz trying to deal with his trauma in ways like this makes me happy
His Star
Requested By:  anonymous!
Warnings: Drowning, reader gets stabbed in the arm, Kaz deals with some trauma flashbacks/anxiety, possibly OOC Kaz.
Genre: Hurt/Comfort
Prompt: None
She/Her pronouns used to refer to reader.
Author’s Note:
hey!! sorry this one took so long, I haven't written for Kaz for a WHILE so I hope this meets your request!
Word Count: 1321
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Kaz loved you.
Or, at least, you thought he did. He had never told you explicitly, but then, the ruthless young man had never told many people of his affections for them, choosing instead to close himself off to the world instead of facing his feelings.
Despite the mask he put over his emotions every day, you could still tell he loved you through the way he treated you, how he didn’t snap at you like he snapped at the other crows, and the way he looked at you.
Oh, how he looked at you.
Kaz Brekker looked at you as though he was a tired man, bound to the ground of the earth, weak and broken, and you were a star in the dark, endless sky waiting to lead him home, your brightness and your beauty incomparable to anything else.
There were many times Kaz had wanted to touch you, to reach his gloved hand out and graze it against your cheek, or to squeeze your thigh for comfort as you sat beside him, but he couldn’t. He feared that if he did, it would bring everything back. Bring Jordie’s death back. And the possibility was too painful to try.
You understood, of course, you would never push him to do anything he didn’t want to, so you left it alone. You never asked, you barely even thought, because even the idea of making Kaz uncomfortable or upset made guilt squeeze your heart sharply. You would listen if he brought up the idea, but you’d never do it yourself. You’d never put that burden on him over something he couldn’t control.
So you made do with what you had, you loved him in other ways, helping him with planning heists, gathering information to make his job easier, making sure he ate, checking up on him every so often (despite his protests), giving him small smiles across the Crow Club when you could see he was getting frustrated. Little things that made your presence known, but that didn’t intrude too much on his life, and you were happy that way.
“Y/N!” Jesper’s voice broke your thoughts as you slid down the rain-soaked tiles of the building you were scaling, landing gracefully on your feet as you shot along the gutter at the bottom and leaped onto the next one.
“What?” You yelled, hoping he would catch it over the raging wind, but all you heard in response was silence, and you realised you could no longer hear the cracking of his boots against the tile. 
Risking a look behind you, you caught your gaze on Jesper’s long figure clambering back up the roof, two others, Inej and Wylan, caught your eye as well, though, where Kaz was you had no idea, and you skidded to a halt, stopping for a moment as you watched the security of the bank you’d just attempted to rob begin gaining on you, their yells rising far above the torrential weather, you watched the other Crows running along the top of the roof, you only caught on to why they were doing this as you turned back, and felt a swift, violent pain crash through your upper arm, you let out an ear piercing scream as the shock and pain overwhelmed you, making your vision blur and your knees buckle underneath you. Almost as soon as you made a noise, you heard Jasper’s pistols shoot rounds into your attacker’s body, quickly able to take out some other guards from his high-up position, yet nobody came to save you as your body tumbled into the freezing harbour water that cascaded against the walls of the bank.
Kaz yelled your name as he watched you disappear off the side of the roof and into the waters below. He had already chosen to stay behind when he realised that you had not heard Jesper’s call to retreat upwards, and he thanked the Saints that he did when he began racing towards the edge of the roof, still screaming your name as he searched for your body in the blackness beneath him.
For the first time in a while, Kaz took a sharp, relieved inhale at the sight of your head poking above the water, and soon your arms came thrashing with it.
As you caught sight of Kaz, you began yelling, mostly unintelligible words, but he heard his name ring in his ears, and he swore he felt his heart tear itself out of his chest when he recognised the fear in your voice.
The fear in your voice that brought him back to that night. With Jordie. Jordie and the boat. And the eerie silence only broken every so often by the groans of the wood and the shifting of clothes against the bodies of the victims that the plague had so cruelly taken.
No. Kaz scolded himself. Stop. Stop, you have to help Y/N. She’ll die if you don’t help her.
He didn’t give himself time to think again before throwing himself into the freeze after you, and almost immediately he felt the same horrible effect that he felt that night with Jordie begin to take hold.
He pushed through it as he kept his mind on you. He couldn’t let you die.
If you died, he didn’t know what he would do with himself, he likes to tell himself that he could get through anything. That grief didn’t affect him anymore.
But with you? You were his star, and if you weren’t there anymore, his sky would go dark.
Kaz could hear your sobs echoing through the night air as he pulled himself through the current and closer to you. Almost as soon as he touched your skin with his gloved hands, he had to stop himself from letting the panic take over, soon becoming grounded once again by your whimpers and pleas for help.
“C-come here, Y/N.” He stammered out, the temperature of the water mixed with the adrenaline coursing through his veins making his speech slurred and awkward as he pulled you towards his chest.
You soon found yourself approaching the harbour, and Kaz made it his first priority to hoist your body up onto the wooden decking, quickly pulling himself up after.
As soon as you were safely out of the water, you backed yourself up against a wall, leaning to the side to cough up what you’d managed to inhale during your panic. Kaz soon made his way over to you, rubbing your back gently as you grasped the wall for support, before falling back against it, still shaking with the sobs that left your lips. You soon felt Kaz move his hand hesitantly to the back of your neck, before taking a deep breath and pulling you in closer to him, holding you tightly.
“I’m sorry…” You cried, taking the collar of his soaked jacket into your hands as he shushed you. “I’m so, so sorry, Kaz, I- I ruined everything. I’m so useless-” You buried your head in his jacket as he shook his head, staring down at you with as serious a stare as he could manage, despite his heart rate going at 30 miles per hour.
“No, no, Y/N, stop it. You didn’t ruin the heist. It was doomed from the start, it was a stupid idea anyway. All that matters is that you’re safe, do you understand me? You’re alright, and you’re with me, and nothing’s going to happen to you.” Kaz’s voice managed to soothe your racing heart and mind, and your gentle nods soothed his own as he dared to press a gentle kiss to your lips.
That was how the Crows found you both that night. Kaz wrapped protectively around you, every so often placing gentle kisses to your hair, and you, his star, encased safely in his arms, having never felt so much love from anybody in your life.
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frenchkisstheabyss · 7 months
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♡ Once More, With Feeling ♡
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♡ Pairing: poly!hyunlix x gn!reader
♡ Genre: fluff/angst
♡ Summary: Unable to sleep after a major argument leads to a breakup, you return to a place that's close to your heart to find comfort and end up with something much more special.
♡ Word Count: 1.4k-ish
♡ Warnings: None.
♡ A/N: I was listening to dreamy low-fi indie music and got in my feelings so, like, come get in them with meeee.
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It’s 3:23am and you can’t sleep. Two tablets of melatonin, three cups of chamomile tea, and an endless loop of soothing rain sounds have done nothing to change that. Your heart aches, it’s unbearable, and there’s not a single thing you can do about it. Rolling onto your back, you rip the covers off, only now realizing how much you’ve been sweating from the anxiety of cycling through last night’s events over and over in your head.
None of this feels real, losing Felix and Hyunjin, the ones you love the most. Maybe it was a bad idea from the start, the three of you being together. Maybe you weren’t as well equipped to keep them both happy as you thought. Every “maybe” hangs over you as if it’s written in glow-in-the-dark paint on the ceiling, taunting you from the void. Does any of it even matter now? Whatever it was that led to the eventual downfall of your relationship, the argument that ended it all, you can’t go back and fix it.
Even still, your heart longs for the possibility that you’ll be together again someday. You’ve always liked to think that when you truly love someone you’ll find each other no matter what, in this life or the next. It could be wishful thinking, the musings of a hopeless romantic. What does it hurt to wish, you figure, if that’s all you have? You take a long, deep breath in, allowing your breath to slowly flow back out as you squeeze your eyes shut. If I lay here long enough I’m bound to fall asleep. Right?
“Fuck it” you groan, popping up out of bed and throwing on your fuzzy bunny slippers. Felix thought it’d be cute if the three of you got matching pairs. You hate how right he was. You’ve been fighting tooth and nail with yourself all night not to drive down to the pier. For years it’s been the destination of endless late-night drives. It’s where you snuck away together when the rest of the world felt like it was too much. Your memories of being there, as much as they might sting, are the dearest things to you and you need to drown yourself in them now more than ever.
So, before you know it, you’re headed out the door pulling a hoodie over your head, car keys in hand, desperately seeking solace in nostalgia. It’s a long, lonely ride to the pier. The combination of empty streets and too-long traffic lights gives you the sense that the world has come to a screeching halt. Whether it has or not for everyone else, it has for you. The light flashes neon green, bringing you back down to earth just as you begin to drift away, and you’re making the right turn that takes you to your usual parking spot. 
Turning the car off, you take a moment to sit and inspect the other cars around you. There are a few on your side, a dozen more on the other, but there doesn’t seem to be anyone out here. Probably all people who live nearby. Confident that you’re alone, the wall you’ve put up comes crumbling down, tears falling down your cheek faster than you can wipe them away. Why am I doing this to myself? You shake your body in what would look to a passerby like a cute, albeit strange, dance of sorts in hopes that some of the emotions overwhelming you will fall away like leaves.
Get it together. Summoning all of the courage you have, you make your way to the stairs leading up to the pier. You almost slip on the gritty, sand-coated steps, but manage to make it to the top without breaking your neck. As you venture forward you already hear the waves crashing to shore. You feel the stars watching you, their gaze intense and overwhelming. Only it’s not their gaze at all. There’s someone at the end of the pier staring back at you, teary-eyed and stunned. That intensity, that overwhelming emotion, it’s his.
Felix? No, no, no. You turn on your heels, racing back to the car before you lose it completely. “Wait!” he yells, running after you. Felix hadn’t expected to see you here either. He’d typed a million text messages asking you to come but he’d deleted all of them, thinking you wouldn’t want to see him with everything being so fresh. He’s been wishing too, as much as you have, and he can’t let this moment slip away. Your car door’s halfway open when he reaches you, your fingers held tightly around the handle.
“Can we talk?” he asks, his hushed voice skimming your neck as he pushes the door closed. You don’t fight him. You don’t want to. The feeling of his chest against your back, the wind blowing his hair so that it tickles your cheek, makes you want to melt into him. Turning to face him, melting is the first thing you do, straight into his arms. He doesn’t hesitate to hold you tight to him, the tension soothed by the simple act of having you near him again. “I’m really sorry” you weep, “I should’ve seen that you weren’t happy.” 
Felix shushes you, his fingers stroking your neck, “Stop, don’t say that. I was happy. Me and Hyunjin…working with each other, we just get frustrated sometimes and it wasn’t supposed to come home but it did. I should be sorry” “What? No invite to the family reunion?” you hear Hyunjin ask and you’re positive that you’re hallucinating. But when you look up he’s standing there staring at the two of you with an expression you can’t quite make out. “I…no…we didn’t…” Felix stutters but Hyunjin’s already walking away, heading for the edge of the pier, ignoring you like you’re strangers.
You’re so much more than that and he knows it. Enough time hasn’t passed for him to erase what you shared from his mind. Even if he could, he wouldn't. Why else would he be here? Hyunjin shoves his hands in his pockets, stopping to make a half-turn toward you. “If I admit I’m an asshole will you come with me?” “I mean, we already know you’re an asshole so…no” Felix teases, getting a laugh out of both of you. “What if I say I’m sorry and that I’d really like to not be alone…to be with you two?” A long stretch of silence separates his question and your answer.
“Wait up,” you smile, taking Felix’s hand and dragging him along with you to catch up to Hyunjin. Meeting him at the center of the pier, you take his hand too and the three of you walk to the edge together. Any other time the minutes would fly by, all of the laughter and kisses making hours feel like minutes. But, in the presence of lingering pain, minutes feel like hours. “It’s not the same,” Hyunjin sighs, picking at his already chipped nail polish and flicking it into the sea. You want to deny it but you can’t. “No, it’s not.” Felix sits down, crossing his legs as he frustratingly tousles his hair, “So that’s it, then? We’re done?” 
You take a seat beside him on the ground, sick to your stomach at the thought, “I mean, is that what you want?” “Of course not. It’s never what I wanted. We are what I want.” You turn to Hyunjin and he’s already sitting down on the other side of you, his head resting on your shoulder. “Me too” he yawns, “But what about you? It doesn’t matter what we want if you don’t—” “I do. I always will.” Their faces brighten up, even in the midst of their exhaustion. Felix takes his jacket off, gathers it in a little bundle in your lap, and lays down. “Maybe it shouldn’t feel the same this time,” he muses, “We should make it better.”
You pet Felix’s hair, “I’d like that.” Hyunjin nuzzles up closer to you, seconds from falling asleep, “Better sounds nice.” Stroking Hyunjin’s cheek, you lean into him too, every sleep aid you tried kicking in at once. Suddenly the world feels like it’s moving again, bursting with life even in the dead of night.
You’ve always liked to think that when you truly love someone you’ll find each other no matter what, in this life or the next. How beautiful it is that it turned out to be this one after all.
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ramblingoak · 4 months
Text
Building A Family
Another peek into the steampunk Copia fic I'm working on because I can't help myself. Check out the previous story here: Clockwork Friends.
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A young Copia (probably about 5 or 6 years old) trying to settle in at his new home.
Warnings: angst, sfw, 1k words (thank you to @gothdaddyissues for the dividers!)
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Copia’s oldest clockwork rat is Aldo and he made him when he was just a young boy, barely able to read and write.
After being dropped off to live with his apparent father Nihil, Copia was mostly left to his own devices.  His brothers were busy with their own lives and didn’t want to deal with the burden of another Emeritus heir.  The sprawling estate they lived on was closed off from the rest of the city by high walls that were patrolled by mechanical golems.  Not to mention the reputation of the Emeritus family itself.  Most of the city was convinced they were more machine than human these days.  
On a particularly lonely day Copia found himself near tears as he wandered the halls. He spent the beginning of his life in an orphanage surrounded by other children.  An endless amount of people to play with and talk to.  Here it was just him.  It was bad enough his own family didn’t seem to want anything to do with him but even the ghouls avoided him.  
Copia finally stopped when he walked by a strangely silent grandfather clock.  It loomed over him much like Nihil had done the day he was picked up from the orphanage.  The hands of the clock were still and Copia’s fingers started twitching, the urge to fix it growing stronger by the second.  It wasn’t until he had dragged a nearby chair over and started taking the clock face apart that he had an idea for another purpose for it.
“Can you hear me?”
It was hours later, the grandfather clock now just a corpse of its former self.  Copia had brought all the parts he needed into his room and spread them out on the floor.  A ghoul had come by when it had gotten dark, dropping off a plate of food and getting a fire going.  He had lingered for some time after, seemingly content to silently watch Copia work.  They had only left when Copia found himself getting frustrated when the tiny creature in front of him remained silent.
Tears began to prick at his eyes again and he struggled to keep them from falling down his cheeks.  He was just so lonely, all he wanted was something to keep him company.  It didn’t matter to him whether it was a machine or not.  Right now he had no one.  No friends…no family…just an empty house full of memories he wasn’t a part of.  With a whimper he dropped his head into his hands, his small shoulders starting to shake as the tears started to come in earnest. 
“Try this.”  Copia’s head shot up, his eyes meeting that of the ghoul that had managed to sneak back in.  The firelight danced across his silver mask and Copia shivered when it made it seem like his eyes were on fire as well.  He finally looked down to see a small metal object in its hand, the gold contrasting with the black metal of his fingers.  “This will bring it to life.”
After a few more trips to the destroyed grandfather clock Copia had re-worked his little creation to utilize what the ghoul had brought him.  Copia’s hand shook as he inserted the gold key into its back.  He could hear the gears turn as he twisted it, over and over again until he felt confident it was enough.  As delicately as possible he lowered it back to the ground, afraid to let go in case it didn’t work.  
In case his new friend remained silent.
“It’s ok.”  
Copia looked up at the ghoul, forgetting he had stuck around to watch.  It was impossible to know what the ghoul was thinking but Copia saw something in his eyes that he had only seen a few other times in his young life.  Kindness and understanding shone there, emotions so strong that Copia had to look away quickly lest he got upset again.  He took a deep breath and slowly pulled his hands away, trembling as he waited for something to happen.
It was slow at first, timid as it began to move around the rug Copia was sitting on.  After a few unsure first steps it gained confidence and crept closer to him on shaky legs.  Copia was afraid to touch it, afraid he’d break the spell the small thing might be under.  When a tiny metal paw touched his leg Copia finally smiled and reached down to scoop it up in his hands.
“Hello.”  The small metal rat twitched its nose, as if it could smell whether Copia was a friend or not.  “H-how do you feel?”
The door to his room opening and closing made him look up briefly but Copia didn’t give the ghoul leaving another thought.  He was too enamored by what he had created.  The clockwork rat was busy looking around the room, his limbs still shaky against Copia’s hands.  He was already thinking of ways to improve the design, of how he could make his new friend stronger.  
After a few moments its small body started to stop, the key moving slower and slower on its back.  Copia set it back down on the rug and ran a finger up and down its head.  It was a comforting gesture for both of them and neither one looked away from each other until the key had completely stopped.  
Copia sat back on his heels, his eyes quickly looking around the room as he thought of what he would need.  He had a responsibility now to his new friend.  He needed to take care of it, to make it healthy and happy.  Copia was prepared to do whatever he could to make sure that happened.  With a grunt he stretched out on his stomach in front of the rat, reaching out and winding the key up again.  When it came to life once more it immediately walked forward and bumped noses with him.
“I’m going to name you Aldo, ok?”  The rat's nose moved across his face, the small whiskers he had given him tickling his cheek.  “Welcome home.”
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Some more baby steampunk Copia here 💙
If you'd like to be added/removed from the tag list (or if I accidentally left your name off) of this fic or any of my others please leave a comment or send me a dm! Thank you 💙
My Masterlist ~ My Archive of our Own ~ My Ko-Fi Tip Jar
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sleepingcup · 14 days
Text
Still with You
Game: Stardew Valley
Characters: Sebastian x Reader
Genre: Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, a little bit of angst
.
Summary: Sebastian admires you just thw way you are.
.
(please be aware of ooc)
-----
You may not notice this before and even until now, for being just a normal farmer who just sell crops, restores the community center with your junimo friends, helping the others in need to gain their full trust, you have everything.
Yeah...except for one.
Getting a spouse.
It is the ONLY thing you never had while you were doing your best in Pelican Town, and yet you never realize how you actually make others feel better than before even if you can't fix them completely.
Out of all the possible candidates, you found interest on a certain boy.
Even if...you never understand yourself very well...
Local Emo boy, Sebastian.
Lives in the mountain with his parents tho there will always be conflict wherever he goes, it started off as a awkward conversation, but soon it turns to a more...nice and friendly relationship you two have.
What goes romancing anyone can do to you? You are just doing something to save yourself and yet, it turns out that you yourself need saving too but….how? An endless spiral of questions appears on your mind, walking in the rain where no one can really hear you to the beach where you can find solace to the sounds of the rain and the sounds of the beach waves by the docks, and yet…
“Hm? (Farmer)?”
“!!!”
He is there.
“You come to beach in the rain as well?”
You nodded, not expecting someone to be there in the rain. Most people stay at home to avoid the rain for colds but here Sebastian is relishing into the rain like nothing happened. Walking closer to him you two remained quiet, giving a slight glanced at him he looks relaxed but looking a bit sad. Hearing him talk to you does help you well to feel a bit better, and yet he noticed that the rain was getting him more.
“Here there is room for two.”
You walked closer to him a little bit hoping to not take too much space, the two of you relaxed into rain quietly, it was comforting. And yet you never imagine that he is slowly warming up to you. From a slightly awkward conversation in his room, encountering him fixing a motorcycle and plans to move out of town, playing games with him and Sam in his room, and now relaxing with him quietly on the beach side. You do admit secretly that you are comfortable with him being there with you.
But you remember one small pain that you can tell, during in the Flower Dance, you watched Abigail dancing with Sebastian even if you didn’t participate in the dance but to only watch them dance. What is this painful feeling he is just your acquaintance/friend, she looked proud even tho you did not do anything but talk to him just casually.
“…(er)….(Farmer)….”
Why….why does your heart ache when you can’t express it-
“(Farmer), are you okay? You looked lifeless for a minute…”
When you snap out of it, Sebastian was facing you he looked concerned and doesn’t understand why.
“….I….”
“…I know you hear my story about myself a bit just now…. But…. will you let me get to know you a little more even if it hurts?”
You were speechless but to Sebastian he know fully well that there is no one who can hear you out, he has seen you feeling lifeless or depressed in one of these previous days but its rare for him to see you this sad in person. Taking a deep breath before facing to the ocean….
“I….never understand myself and my emotions well….”
You were told you had apathy, doesn’t smile, doesn’t show emotion, but when you do it never makes sense to you. You just want to get to know more about Sebastian and the other people in town not just show emotions. “Im sure the you and the town knows that…I don’t smile more often… I don’t even understand myself very well….” Holding your arm for a slight bit of comfort you closed your eyes taking a sharp breath.
Not ready to see his reaction you decided to continue, “I’m scared… Being a people pleaser for money is not my thing…. And yet, seeing progress with everyone one by one makes me wonder…. What if actually feels to feel….loved.”
“…”
You wanted to run to home and yet, you felt an arm wrapped around your waist. Opening your eyes you saw Sebastian pulling you closer to him, he has a reassuring smile on his face before making you lean your head on his shoulder.
You don’t get it, it never makes sense.
You respected his dream, you respected him, but you never seen him….being this close to you.
Parts of you want to push him away and yet….you feel like you deserve comfort from him.
“Are you feeling a bit better now that you say whats on your mind?”
“….y-yes….”
No more words, only silence and yet there is comfort in silence. Its like time has slowed or stopped for a moment, and yet you feel rather….relieved. Having someone to hear you out is something that you never expected it to be so comforting.
“Did you….hate me for saying these words?”
“No, its rather understandable for you to have these feelings. I don’t hate you for that, but rather thankful that you also open up to me.”
You two stare at the sky that was now going dark, and yet…
“Hey….Sebastian…?”
He looks at you confused before you gently hug him underneath the umbrella, “Thanks.” You don’t want to explain yourself and when you pull away just to look at him once more, you didn’t realize what your doing.
“I’ll find myself going to visit you once I got free time…. But please warm up once your home.”
You pull away from him before waving goodbye to him walking yourself to the town once more leaving Sebastian alone. You didn’t realize this but….you realize that you almost kissed him. It made your face feel warm from what you just did.
Sebastian on the other hand was speechless, feeling his face becoming warmer. You may not noticed this but he saw you smile for the very first time, and yet he did saw that your face was red up close at that. He finds himself covering his mouth feeling warmer than the cold.
He remembers you being there for him on times like this but was not expecting to feel…romantic towards you. He knows fully well that you have apathy and yet he admired you for one reason, being his solace that he never expected. The time where you invited Sebastian to your house for a relaxing dinner after his argument with his step-dad, he felt guilty when he almost yelled at you for trying to comfort him and yet you let him rest on your house and let him relax in your couch while your taking care of the crops. He did tell you many times that he is sorry but you kept on reassuring him that its completely fine since you knew his living condition.
Not only that you also give him gifts that he never had before, risking your life in the mines to get him a Frozen Tears or Obsidian for him, wasting your time fishing just to give him Sashimi, using your crops and milk to give him Pumpkin Soup, giving him something he never expected like the Frog Egg or Void Egg makes him happy. And you hearing him out on his frustrations he rambled on makes him feel even better, he knows your doing it to please him but he also knows that you are purely genuine with him even in you did not realize it.
Walking his way home, he can feel his heart beating so fast.
Sebastian admitted that he admired you, and yet he DOES worries that you might stress yourself out.
..
.
He stormed out of his house again but not out of anger or stress, something was giving him a bad feeling. Walking to the mines at night he saw you trying to walk out of the mines but from what he looked at you shock and fear grew within him…
“(FARMER!)”
You were gravely injured, limping slowly as time becomes 2 am. He ran to you straight ahead and captured you to his arms. He check on you with a worried expression on his face and yet you were just unconscious but not dying, he was relieved and yet he needs to make a move.
Carrying you in his arms and walks his way to your house despite how tired he really was, but his priorities is not himself but you. Inside on your house upon arrival he check your injuries and patched it up carefully with your nearby emergency medkit without waking you up. And yet he felt something cool on his hands, it was a frozen tear and he looked at you but you were still asleep.
“For…..Seb….by…”
“….”
He finds himself blushing at that, “….Why must you make me worry at a time like this….” Carefully and gently placing you on the bed before giving you the blanket, he stared at your sleeping face calmly before finding himself learning towards you and yet….he soon realize what he had done and quietly pulled away.
“….But….what if you don’t….”
Sebastian sadly can’t bring himself to kiss you, what if you’re interested in someone else like Sam, Abigail, or others. And yet he instead hold your hand gently before smiling at you, “Get better soon…(Farmer)…” He got up from your bed before quietly walks out of your house before locking it from behind, face still feeling warm and yet he too wanted to kiss you, but…he needs to know your feelings.
..
.
Morning finally comes in 6 am, waking up from the sound you tried to remember what happened to you.
You remembered getting gravely injured while fighting the enemies but quickly escaped to the ladder once you realized that it was almost 2 am, but you didn’t lose anything this time but…. neither your money or items was stolen.
“…”
You are confused the second you check your mailbox but nothing was there, you were expecting someone to let you know but no, nothing.
“But….who….”
Then it hits you, the last person you had seen was Sebastian before you didn't land roughly on the ground. There is only on conclusion, and it was Sebastian that brought you here but nothing was stolen.
"...I need to pay him back..."
The next weeks has passed, you made sure you repay Sebastian but he insist that you really don't need to give him anything. And yet when all hope for you feels a bit lost, one day you got an new mail from Robin and upon reading it....
You immediately knew what gift to give, even tho it feels incomplete you decided to get something extra for his gift, you quickly grabbed a stored pumpkin and fresh milk before going back to the house just to make the perfect gift for him, (even tho he is maxed out).
That autumn night of the was truly the day you repay him completely.
Arriving at his room for a nice chit chat by 3:30 pm, you two had a decent chat before the next was comfortable silence. You watching him programming while assisting him on some codes, he never knew you had talent on programming and thanks to you his job feels more easier than before.
"Say...Sebastian."
He looked at you wondering what you had to say, but was greeted by the delicious pumpkin soup that you had well prepared for him.
Smiling at the gift he gladly accepts it from you.
"I love this! How did you know?"
"Your mom let me learn the recipe just for you."
Sebastian was stunned not knowing that she made good friends with his mom just to help you give him a gift out of the materials you stored. Feeling his hand touching your cheek just to look at him, he knew that you were able to feel better. And when he was about to lean closer he suddenly pulled away blushing as you were speechless at his actions.
It was VERY slow for you to realize it...
You truly love him.
Quickly getting his hand before pulling him a bit closer surprising Sebastian, he was about to say something but you gently kisses his cheek before placing something on his arms.
Pulling away he looked down at the gift.
"!!!!"
Sebastian was blushing alot before looking at you with a warm smile, he knew he admired you just the way you are, getting used to his attitude, knowing how to make him smile, and for the times he get to watch you being beautiful even if it wasn't the case.
"I...I didn't know you feel the same way."
He took a glimpse at you with a smile watching your expression, you normal or depressed look your face was replaced by a gentle smile and yet you are blushing at your own actions towards him.
"...Sorry... That I took a long time to...feel that way."
Sebastian shook his head before pulling you to a hug.
Reminiscing the end of Summer by the Moonlight Jellies, Sebastian manage to take a glimpse at you. Being mesmerized by the blue soft glow, and yet when no one else wasn't paying extra attention he saw your genuine smile. It was one reason why he has gotten soft on you without breaking character. Unfortunately he was not able to see that smile after that, it must have felt like a core memory.
And yet.
"Don't make fun of me. But I never had a girlfriend/boyfriend before."
"I won't, it makes you special just the way I love you."
And yet he won't stop blushing, staring at you lovingly before giving your cheek a gentle kiss.
Ever since that day, you made his day even better when you are by his side. The moment you left his room, he was smiling at the bouquet of romantic flowers before hugging it closer to his chest relishing the moment you two have just now.
And if you are completely very luckily, you will see him staring at you with a smile and a cute blush that got your heart racing.
...
..
.
Before the beginning of Winter, you ran to the beach shore to do some foraging.
Ever since you become Sebastian's boyfriend stress and pressure has been applying for the both of you, trying to being the perfect maid to the people while doing dangerous tasks takes a deeper toll on you.
Meanwhile Sebastian had to get used to endless nagging, and worse of all his step-dad being completely rude to him which results him to return to his very bad habits.
Sure the both of you meet up in secret but what romantic moment was turned to empty and yet normal relationship, but in one of those times....
"I like you hair."
"!!!"
There are nice and tender moments hiding underneath the waters of the iceberg, despite you feeing the stress, pressure, and painful injuries you still went out of your way just to see him. Sebastian can be worried about you and yet...
"May I have you hand Sebastian?"
Sebastian was confused before lending out his hand to you, "Please, close your eyes." You said before he did what you told him, he felt something cold and yet it was highly different from the gifts. "You may open it now." And just like that, he opened his eyes...
It was a Mermaid's Pendant.
...
..
.
Ever since you two were married, Sebastian had never felt THIS HAPPY before. Marrying you was his best decision ever and as a result he lives in your house comfortably.
Plus he get to learn something silly from you. getting insane over the silliest of things, being overall very clingy to him when you go near him.
Sebastian did his very best to quit smoking for real just to live a bit more longer with you, and as a result he felt like his choices are rewarding. You still accept his sudden confessions of being alone, you still made sure you give him gifts, heck you evenly made sure that he gets the love he wanted to receive for so long.
There was money struggles from time to time but he understands since you two kept a nice conversation from time to time, sure he knows that you give gifts to other genders but its different compared how you give him gifts.
Finally one day the house was completely upgraded and he was tempted on the basement but you were pouting at him for that silly suggestion.
But that isn't all...
One rainy day you went home again to check up on Sebastian...
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You are normally stoic and yet, that won't stop your heart from beating loudly. knowing the facts that Sebastian is genuinely romantic at random times can sometimes get you insane in love with him all over again.
It made you a blushing mess much to Sebastian's happy reactions from you.
You quickly pulled him closer to give him a hug and kisses that he still desperately needs, the same moment when time was stopped and yet, it was stopped in the most right way possible.
After all...
He still enjoys your company with him even now.
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Dia De Los Muertos 18+ Taiju Shiba x Fem Reader Halloween Collab: 31 days of Horror w/ @fuyuswifey Resident: @enchantedforest-network Masterlist WC:2.7k TW: Angst, N/sfw, death, illness, making out, Fingering, slight masturbation, Penetration, Taiju being rough, orgasm,pet names, breast sucking, hickies, creampie, suggestive language and suggestive them (unedited) MINORS DNI
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“She is late again..” He looked at his watch as it was close to 6 o'clock. Sticking his hands in his pocket he took off of work early to celebrate something that meant something very special to you. He never celebrated something like this before. Taiju walked to the glass shelf in his living room where a photo of his mother was placed. Looking at the photo for a moment a sudden rush of memories from his childhood came to him. The way his mother smiled, how soft her voice was, or the way she made his favorite dishes. When she became sick he wouldn’t let anyone see his weak side trying to be strong for his parents and his younger siblings. As he saw his mother's illness becoming worse he was mentally preparing himself for the worse. In a matter of weeks, his mother was gone from his life. All the emotions he had in him were locked up and never released. He never spoke about how he felt when his mother passed to anyone. He was hard on himself and his siblings at a young age. His father constantly works endless hours to provide for him and his siblings. He had to be the man of the house and he had to admit he wasn't a pleasant teen, his hardcore demeanor and ego getting the best of him. They all had their issues of being a dysfunctional family that they overcame as they got older, and periodically they would check up on one another as they got older.
Taiju picked up the photo of his mother, walking back with it as he sat on the couch. Thinking about if she was still around things would have been different. But that was a dream that would never come true. He heard the door knob jiggle and turned his head to see you open the front door “Sorry I know I’m late but I went to the store before going home.” you placed the bags on the floor as you closed the door. 
Taiju saw the bright orange flowers along with a few other items. “You know it’s just me and you right? Are you expecting more people?”  he raised his brow looking at the items than you. “I know but all this stuff is necessary! Help me with the bag please?” giving him a smile. He placed a photo of his mother on the coffee table as he got up to help you with the bags. Taking them into the large dining room. You had a table that was empty you were going to use.  Taiju saw how you began to decorate the table placing items in certain areas making it look as aesthetic as possible. He had some idea of what  Dia De Los Muertos was and what it stood for but the little things with the flowers and the mass amount of them piqued his curiosity. “Why marigolds?” He picked up one of the orange flowers twirling it by the stem. 
“Marigolds are traditionally the flowers used for Dia De Los Muertos. When you pair them with just the right candle they say the spirits can find their way back into the living world to see their loved ones on this specific night.” plucking the flower from his hand “you can feel the presence when they arrive it's like a sudden rush of comfort. That’s how I could explain it.” Taiju, hearing you explain it, was a bit skeptical. You were more open with your feelings and emotions compared to him. The saying opposites attract applied to you both when you guys started to see each other. You tried to make him open up more but you didn’t want to push him too. He hardly talked about his family to you since you could tell it was a topic he wasn’t comfortable with. But all you knew was his mother passing at a young age, his father always working and him having two siblings younger than him. In your bag, you pulled out a photo frame. Taiju looked over your shoulder to see the photo of your parents. It was a photo of their wedding day. “My mom said this was one of the best days of her life, she was marrying her best friend,” you remembered your mother's words. Every time she looked at this photo she would say those same exact words every time. Taiju saw the smile on your face begin to fade the more you looked at the photo. “She is now reunited with the love of her life.”  you tried to shake off the sadness you were displaying hiding it with a smile. You placed their photo on the decorated table. “Do you have your mother's photo?” you asked him. “Yeah let me grab it.”  He walked back to the coffee table picking up his mother's photo and bringing it back to where you were. He placed her photo next to your parents. “Your mother is beautiful.” you looked at her photo. Taiju’s sister Yuzuha took a lot after her mother.  
“Thank you.” in his pocket he pulled out something that belonged to his mother, he kept it with him since he was a kid. It was a necklace she would often wear. She gave each of her kids something before her passing. “This necklace was given to my mother by my father when they first started to date.” He placed the necklace right next to her photo. He missed her, he wished he had her for a bit longer in his life. You grabbed the match as you began to light the candles next to their photos. “What memory do you have of your mother that is special to you?” you asked him. You tried to pry a bit to see if he would respond. He stood silent for a moment, you thought he wasn’t going to respond to your question. He let out a low sigh. In that time frame of you asking him the question he was thinking of one specific one. “I don’t know how old I was but I remember I didn’t want to go to school this was before she was sick.. She took Yuzuha and Hakkai to school and daycare. She ended up taking me to the Aquarium. It was empty in the Aquarium since it was a weekday with each exhibit in the Aquarium she would pronounce each fish in the tank and point them out….” he stopped for a moment then proceeded to speak “I remembered just being amazed she knew them all….she promised me she would do this again with me…..” he took a deep breath  “but then she got sick...”  his hands in his pocket as he looked at her photo then at you. You could sense that memory held a special moment for him. “Your mother would be proud of you Tai. You worked hard to get where you are for everything you have. You accomplished more than most people.” You reached for his hand. Taiju smirked, “Thanks, there is more I want to accomplish in my life but it will come later on…”
“You have your whole life planned out it seems.” you teased him. “Not all of it… There are some areas in my life that I’m still trying to figure out.” Taiju yellow orbs looked down at you. “Like what?” you blinked a few times. “Me and you, I'm still finding out so many things about you that I wasn’t aware of. Getting to know you more and more of you” he placed a strand of hair behind your ear. “Oh, Tai there is much more. You are just getting a taste of it.” you chuckled he gave a low smirk sound. “Hopefully you would do the same. I want to know more about you.”
“What do you want to know?” he asked. “I… I want to know how you feel at times or what you are thinking about….” doing a dry swallow before continuing to speak “I noticed you don’t really let your guard down even when we are alone. I’m not sure if you think it's some kind of weakness to do so, I don’t think it is.  We have been together for some time now and being a couple we should be open with one another. I want to continue growing our relationship strong where we can come to one another whenever.” “Is that what you want?” Taiju looked at you. “I do more than anything,” you responded with a bashful tone. “You will have to give me time on that… I can’t do it all at once with a snap of a finger.” He had to make that point clear. “But I will try.” his hand reaches the top of your head bringing you a bit closer, placing a kiss on the crown of your head. You had a bit of a relieved smile on your face. “Thank you, Tai.” A few moments passed before Taiju got a whiff of something he hadn't smelled since he was a kid. The perfume his mother used to wear. Something came over him that felt what you described earlier: it was comforting and relaxed his body. ‘She is here’  looking at his mother's photo. He wasn’t expecting her presence to be this strong. It hit him like a tidal wave. He closed his eyes and he got the image of his mother. He couldn’t hear what she was trying to say but he could read her lips. ‘I’m proud of you Taiju.’ his eyes shot open. It was becoming too much for him to handle all at once.  
You saw he looked a bit distressed “Taiju what's wrong?” you asked him. “I just… need some air, I’ll be back,” he said. He walked away towards the backyard.
You watched him head towards the backdoor. You assumed he felt his mother's presence. It would take him a moment for him to let it sink in. The cool brisk air hit him as he stepped outside. Lighting a cigarette to relax his nerves he kept replaying the image of his mother in his mind. All those years of blocking his emotions he couldn’t keep blocking this one. After the discussion he had with you that happened. “Fuck.. Is this your way of getting me to open up  to ______, Mom?” He looked at the sky as if he was waiting for a response from her. After about 30 minutes Taiju came back in, he took a seat in the living room. When you heard the back door closed you walked into the living room. “Tai? You okay?” you walked towards him. “I’m fine.” he looked at you, his hand was extended out to you, and he brought you to his lap. “What you said earlier... I felt it... I hadn’t felt her presence since the day she passed…it was a lot to handle…” “I see.. Tai, I know she is still watching over you even when you think she is not. You may not feel her all the time but she is there.” you gave him a soft smile, and your fingers ran through his hair.
He nodded “It gave me more conformations on what I want in my future.” he brought you closer to him. “What do you want?” asked him softly you looked into his eyes then his lips then back at his eyes. “You will have to stick around and find out.” Taiju’s hands rested on your hips. Both of you leaned as your lips met, you could taste the cigarette he smoked just a few minutes ago. Your arms drape around his neck as he pulls you closer to him, pressing you against his large chest. His tongue dominantly invaded your mouth. His hands roamed your body, his hands sliding up the hem of your dress touching your exposed soft skin. You nibbled on his bottom lip playfully would earned you a low groan coming from him, his hands found your panties pushing them to the side. “Such a good girl you are.” His large finger began rubbing between your damp folds. The moans spilled out of your mouth. “How does that feel? Do you want me to continue?” he spoke in a deep voice that was low. You nodded at his question. “I need to hear you say it. Come on, I know you can.” “Yes Tai~~~please continue~~~ mmmmmm” You were focused on his fingers. As he was making you squirm in his lap. You gripped his shoulders. The bulge began to form in his pants. You couldn’t help yourself as one of your hands began to rub his encaged cock. “Fuck.” he grunted as your hand continued to rub his clothed cock. “Tell me how bad do you want my cock deep inside you?” Taiju needed that bit of control at this moment as he slipped his finger into your wet cunt. “Shi~~~ mmm….” you couldn’t respond at that moment as his finger pumped into you. “Really bad Taijuuu~~~”  the moan lingers as you get to his name. “I want your cock in me~~~ please give it to me~~~” your glossy eyes looked into his. 
Hearing that desperation in your voice as you begged for his cock was more than enough for him. He slid his finger out from your moist warm cunt. He undid his pants letting his large thick cock out. The tip of his cock was damp due to the precum as you were rubbing him. You felt his tip rubbing against your pussy. Grazing against your throbbing clit. He continued to tease you for a moment. “I want you to look at me as my cock slides into that tight pussy of yours. You began to lower your hips as his cock began to penetrate you. “Don’t you dare close your eyes baby girl.” he let out a husky moan. You followed his orders as you kept your eyes on his. Your pussy was throbbing a bit as you were able to fully have him inside of you. It took you a moment to catch your breath. His hands rested on your hips as he began to help you move up and down his cock. 
“Taiju~~~” You moaned slightly, rocking your hips back and forth. 
Throwing his head back on the couch  “ Yes baby girl?” holding you steady. “Are you enjoying yourself?.” He pushed his pelvis up a bit more and he was pushing you down a bit harder. The slap of your skin began to fill the room. 
“Yes Taiju shit you're making me so wet,” your juices were sliding down his cock.
Taiju slid the traps of your dress down exposing your breast. He began to suck on your breast switching back and forth leaving hickies traveling up now to the neck leaving the same love bites. He loved leaving his mark on you. “Fuck I love you so much” his hand resting on the back of your head bring you to his lips as he began to kiss you hard. 
You couldn’t even say it back as his lips were dominating yours. The string of saliva broke you both separate from one another trying to catch your breath. Your forehead rested against his. “I love you Tai~~” 
“Say it again”  He moaned louder, moving you faster as he gripped your hips tighter. The intense sensation in his lower abdomen approached he wasn’t going to last much longer as the sweat trickled down his brow. You weren’t going to last much longer either.
“I - love you, Taiju Shiba.” You moaned the phrase over and over. Your body began to shake as the sudden rush of your orgasm approached. “Fuuuuccccckkkkkk!” 
The way your pussy constricted as your orgasm hit around his cock his hot seed shot in deep he pressed your hips down all the way on his cock as he let out a loud animal-like moan. He clenched his jaw tightly and poured every ounce of semen he had in his body into you. Only so much was able to fit into your cunt as some of it began to seep out from inside of you running down his own cock. Taiju's sudden rush was coming down his grip loosening on your hips. The look of satisfaction hitting his face as he his hand reaching for your chin brings you closer as placing a gentler kiss. 
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Nick Amaro NSFW Alphabet  
Guys I finished rewatching season 14 and I forgot how much I hate the storyline they give Nick. I love him as a character, but I would love to completely reconstruct his backstory. He has to be one of the most personally screwed-over characters in SVU. Am I the only one who hates the hidden love child-which I’m completely disregarding? Anyway, I hope you guys enjoy this!  
Warnings- Some Maria-hate (sorry not sorry).  
A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex) 
Nick's aftercare is exceptional. He cleans you up, washing any mess he has made off you with a warm washcloth or a hot shower. Then it is cuddling and whatever you want in your post-glow bliss. Usually, it’s time for you to talk about whatever you want. Something you did, a movie you saw, an awful joke you heard that you laughed at but didn’t seem worth bothering him about. He wants to hear it all.
It’s a time that you have this full attention. Sometimes it leads to more vulnerable emotional conversations that he seems to have an easier time having when his walls are down after sex. Sometimes words are too much and the two of you just hold each other, caressing each other's bodies.  
B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and their partner’s)  
Nick’s favorite body part of himself is his hands. They are rough, calloused, and strong from years of sports, hard work, and shooting a gun. They are dexterous and versatile enough to accomplish his endless paperwork, playing catch with Zara, fixing things around the house, and his favorite teasing you with them until you come apart so prettily with his name on your lips. 
Nick loves your entire body. He tells you all the time there is nothing he would ever change. He loves your curves and doesn’t discriminate between them. Why be a boobs or ass man, when he has two hands and a willing mouth that can have both and more?  
C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)  
Nick is a jealous man, and he knows it. You are his and nobody else. After spending a significant amount of time watching any another man try to talk or flirt with you there is nothing more that he wants to do than take you to his bed and paint his cum all over your body. It gives him undeniable satisfaction seeing his seed on your skin claiming you in the most barbaric way. He should hate it because it may be considered demeaning, but he can’t. Even later when he is cleaning you up, he smiles knowing the evidence of his DNA still lingers on your skin, clinging to you.    
D = Dirty secret (self-explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)  
It’s not necessarily dirty but you made Nick come embarrassingly early by calling him Papi one day out of nowhere while you were riding him. He never liked the idea of being called daddy by his partners. It seemed weird to him but hearing the word Papi come from your lips as you took your pleasure from him did all the right things.
When you guys were basking in the afterglow, he casually asked you about the nickname. You had admitted that one of your friends had told you it was a common term of endearment for Cuban men but you seemed a bit embarrassed. Instead of just telling you he liked it he spent the next few months trying to casually reinforce the nickname whenever you used it by getting you off as many times as possible.     
E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)  
Nick has experience. While he did go through a bit of a Casanova stage in his teens and early twenties, he has always been more of a long-term partner kind of guy. The different women did teach him about different ways to enjoy sex and a bit of experimentation. However, when he married Maria, it was narrowed down to what she liked. She liked sex that was very plain and vanilla, missionary mostly. She wasn't very interested in sex after she had Zara and what they did do was repetitive.
F = Favorite position (this goes without saying) 
Nick’s favorite position is doggy. He likes the control of your body it gives. His hands are free to caress and massage you. He can take you with your back pressed tightly to his chest fistful of your hair to make you look at him and steal open mouth kisses as he thrust into you. Or he can push you down on your knees with your face in the mattress as he holds your wrist behind your back and pounds into you hard and fast. Moans and his name bouncing from the walls as he takes you deeper and deeper. He loves leaving Hickes and love bites on your neck and down the back of your shoulder.      
G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)  
Nick is a very passionate man but that doesn’t always translate into seriousness. You guys have had sex that you have laughed halfway through. You have been mid sex and his beard rubbed just right to tickle you and send you squirming with laughter that was contagious.  
H = Hair (how well-groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.) 
Nick’s hair is dark and thick, and it curls when it gets too long. He keeps it trimmed up for hygiene's sake typically. He doesn’t think much about it when it gets overgrown when life is too busy, or he just can’t be bothered. When he is in a relationship, he keeps up on it more as a respectful consideration for you. 
I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)  
Nick is the definition of a Latino lover. He will spend his time with foreplay and the sex making sure you know how important you and your pleasure are to him. He calls you sweet nicknames and tells you how much you mean to him and how he has missed you and your body. If he pins your hands, he intertwines your fingers.  
J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon) 
 Nick doesn’t masturbate often. When he does it's usually not to pleasure himself so much as to get a release from some stress. It’s quick and efficient and then he washes up and continues with his day or gets ready for sleep. He will also get himself off if he is horny, but you are not available or in the mood.      
K = Kink (one or more of their kinks) 
Nick’s love language is words of affirmation, and he has a major praise kink that he likes to mix with his dirty talk. He is also a bit of an exhibitionist. He likes to push the line of where you can have sex without getting caught. Just be careful while he’s drinking because it heightens all these kinks and can lead to some pretty close calls.  
L = Location (favorite places to do the do) 
Nick’s favorite place to have sex is the bedroom because it has the most options and comfort. He has become a big fan of the laundry room. While the space is limited, Zara doesn’t feel the need to interrupt when you go in there because she doesn’t think there is anything of value and would rather watch TV while you guys do the ‘laundry’ unlike when you guys try to sneak away to the bedroom or bathroom. There is a door so there is no risk of her getting in there unexpectedly. Nick has also found many uses for the dryer while it’s on that aren’t clothes-related.     
M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going) 
Nick is not hard to convince to have sex or turn on. But he is a very visual man, and if you want to make him go feral wearing lingerie or one of his shirts buttoned halfway up is a good way of giving him an instant boner.    
N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)  
Nick grew up with an abusive dad and he watched him beat his mom. He will never hit, slap, or do anything that could hurt you. An open-palmed smack on the ass is about as far as he will take it and that’s only if you enjoy it. He will never degrade you because it is against his morals of respecting women.    
O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)  
Nick likes to get as much as he likes to receive. He wants you to sit on his face, sit not hover. If you don’t know the difference, he will pull you down on top of him and lick and devour your cunt until your legs are shaking to the point where sitting is the only option. He will work you up so well you will be riding his face. He loves 69ing too. Your moan vibrating around his dick from the pleasure of him eating out your pretty pussy? The answer is always yes.  
Nick loves a good blowjob. You found that it can fix his bad attitude. He came home in a bad mood and was trying to start a fight about something petty and irrelevant. He was in the kitchen slamming stuff around as he was making his coffee, bitching about how messy it was. You knew it had nothing to do with you, and everything to do with a disaster case, and marched over to him and grabbed his belt. He froze at first not sure what was going on, but it wasn't complaints falling from his lips when you dropped to your knees and gave him a quick messy blowjob. When you were done and got back to your feet, you pecked his lips and told him you were late for work leaving him stunned. When you returned home the kitchen was clean, he had cooked homemade traditional Cuban food, and he apologized to you all night long with a lot more than just his mouth.        
P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.) 
Nick likes to make the foreplay slow and passionate, to make sure you are satisfied and ready to take him. When it comes to sex his preferred pace is fast and on the rougher side. Your body in his hands as he pounds into you your breast bouncing, head thrown back as you take him.  
He does have a gentler side that comes out quite often. One that takes you slow and steady. He will kiss every inch of your body whispering Spanish words of endearment and praise against your skin. These are the times he wants to look you in the eyes and make sure you know his love for you in this physical act. That you can hear it, feel it, taste it, and see it in his eyes.      
Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)  
Nick loves a good quicky. Life is busy, especially with a job like his and kids. Sometimes you just have to take those fifteen minutes and make them worth every second. It doesn’t always need to be long to be good and satisfying. Besides Nick enjoys seeing you after a quick tousle out with your friends or random people knowing exactly what causes that flush in your cheeks. Knowing that his cum is still leaking out of you and into your wet panties unless of course he still has them in his pocket for safekeeping.  
R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.) 
Nick is willing to experiment with his limits. He is willing to try any position you want at least once. He likes to push the limits where you two can get away with having sex. He likes the bathrooms at bars, the laundry room when Zara is preoccupied, and getting head when he is driving in low to no-traffic areas. He likes the adrenaline of the possibility, but he doesn’t actually want to get caught. 
S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)  
Nick has stamina for days. He can drag out foreplay and sex for hours if you will let him. If you're planning on a sleepless night and are okay walking a little funny the next day you only have to give him about a half hour to recuperate and he will be ready to go again if you are.    
T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)  
No, Nick’s not a toy guy. He is kind of old-fashioned and I think he might take it as a hit to his masculinity if you wanted to use them when you were in bed together.  
U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)  
Nick is an ungodly tease. His sweet and dirty talk is second to none. He can get you wet just by telling you about what he is going to do to you. The innocent but consistent touches drive you crazy. Then when he finally has you in the bedroom you can almost taste the pleasure, he is going to give you. He teases you more and tisks about how impatient you are. “All good things come to those who wait, Corazón.”
If you want his teasing to stop, you will have to beg him or start teasing him back. He can give way better than he can take. You will have him changing his pace quick.    
V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)  
Nick isn’t loud but he is by no means silent. He likes to dirty talk, and praise you in bed with a mix of English and Spanish words. He grunts and moans but keeps the noise to a minimum when Zara is in the house. If he knows that there isn’t a risk of being interrupted or overheard that is when Nick gets louder and likes to fuck you to upbeat Cuban music.   
W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)  
Nick doesn’t know how to ask for attention or affection. He grew up with a controlling abusive father and a traumatized turned aloof mother. Then he married Maria, a strong-willed but distant and emotionally unavailable soldier. He never got consistent affection and doesn't understand his own need for it. He doesn’t consciously know he does it, but when he needs that affection, he will initiate sex even if he is not in the mood to have it. He will make it so good for you like he has to earn it. You will moan and call his name as he wrecks you with his fingers and mouth.  
Then he will usually wave you off when you go to reciprocate even if he is hard. He knows that what he really wants is already within reach because when you are pleasure drunk and boneless it always means that you are willing and wanting to cuddle. Your fingers will stroke and play with his hair, your other hand wandering his back teasing tense muscles until they relax. It takes you a long time to figure out what he is doing and when you do it breaks your heart.   
X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes) 
Nick has a lean body with muscular arms and thighs. His chest is toned with a visible six-pack. He has a sparse dusting of hair on his lower stomach, a happy trail leading down to his goods. Nick is a big boy, above average in size. His cock is thick and long with a slight upwards curve.   
Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)  
Nick has a pretty high sex drive but good control over it. While he would prefer to have sex four or five times a week, he doesn’t expect that. He has times when he becomes a sex hound, and you swear it always seems to match up to when you're ovulating. His sex drive can also completely diminish during bad sex crime cases.    
Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards) 
Nick is one of those rare men that sex boosts his energy, at least for a little while. The flood of endorphins gives him a giddy relaxed high. If it is a quickie or during the middle of the day, he will have the sudden urge to accomplish something, or if you're really lucky cook traditional Cuban food. If it’s time for bed you will almost always fall asleep before him, but he is content to lay in bed with you either just cuddled up or playing games on his phone until the high fades.  
I forgot how long this prompt takes but hey there’s Nick’s! I have quite a few Nick miniseries that I’m going to be working on. One is the relationship building between the reader and Zara while still featuring Nick of course.  
I have another series that will be more angsty and will probably take longer because it’s going to be a split vibe of what could have happened in a situation with Nick and the reader's relationship when tragedy hits. I’m excited to challenge my writing in that way. 
Let me know if either of these piques your interest! I hope you enjoyed xoxo  
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ssinboo · 2 years
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Grasp The Thorn
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summary: As your loyal knight, Kim Mingyu is more than willing to serve any and all of your commands.
“But he who dares not grasp the thorn  Should never crave the rose.”  ― Anne Bronte
pairing: Historical!AU - Knight!Mingyu x Queen!F!Reader, somewhat friend with benefits? you’ll see
word count: 2.7k
warnings: sexism, mentions of blood and murder, detailed smut. Oral (F rec.), Fingering, Monster Cock Mingyu Agenda™️, praise kink if you squint, massive breeding kink, they absolutely adore each oher
a/n: I’ll be mostly out of commission for this week, longing after my missing wisdom teeth, so do enjoy this in my absence!
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The loaded atmosphere felt so thick you could touch it. Though the woman sitting at the end showed no sign of emotions, every occupant in the long table fervorously disagreed with her actions. 
“We will not go to a meaningless war. My word is final. Meeting adjourned.” 
Her voice rang velvet smooth, not a single syllable too loud. Among grumbling, the council quietly stood up to bow as she exited. 
“The throne should have never gone to a woman.” 
The words stung more than she ever led on.
Inheriting the throne after your father’s death brings endless expectations to be met. Especially when you’ve been painted as the Kingdom’s shameful little spoiled princess. Your spending habits and luxurious life were targets of nothing disgust, even if your siblings and cousins enjoyed the same extravagant lifestyle you did. 
From the second you were born, you were set on the path to inherit this great Kingdom and received the greatest education available. Despite your father’s greatest efforts, your coronation was met with rebellion from power-hungry nobles.
They wished for your abdication and quietly, for your death. 
Even if you led your country into success, even if you ruled with an iron fist, getting rid of corrupt officials and lowering the misery of your people.
Oh, you would never convince them, so you gave up convincing them.
“You will take care of him, please?” You pout, flashing puppy-eyes at your loyal Knight.
He smirks, running his tongue over his teeth. 
“Yes, ma’am.” 
Mingyu was your beloved servant, assigned to your protection since you were kids. His father protected the King as did his grandfather before. You know he would lay his life on the line if it meant you wouldn’t be as much as inconvenienced. 
Differing from when you were young, he had grown into a terrifying, mountain of a man that set fear in the eyes of anyone who dared cross his Queen. That fear is justified, of course. 
“I will be in my chambers,” You smile, watching the darkened glaze of lust flare over his eyes.
“Oh, your majesty, you spoil me,” Mingyu whispers dangerously close to your ear. His hot breath fans at your skin, lighting a fire in your chest.
But he leaves before you can lean into his body and relish in his warmth. 
Not too long after, — Your knight never left you waiting, — Mingyu climbs into your window and jumps down with a thunderous thud. He’s still wiping the blood off his skin, not bothering at all with his clothes, he wouldn’t be wearing them for very long. 
He finds you completely relaxed in the large tub, rose water filling the air with its sweet scent. You lean over the edge, watching as he strides toward you, pride dripping down his rugged clothes.
“Done so soon?” You ask, biting at your fingernails, eyeing his body up and down.
“I had someone better waiting for me.” You giggle at his response and raise your hand, gesturing at his clothes.
“Get out of those and join me.”
Oh, he did not need to be told twice. 
You’re torn between wanting him naked as rapidly as humanly possible and enjoying the show of watching him slowly rip away every blood soaked piece of cloth that hides that gorgeous body from your view.
Your rebellious subjects were very upset to hear your disinterest in taking a husband. How could you accept a spoiled, boring prince from a shitty Kingdom when you had your beloved knight?
Soon, he’s joining you and almost draining the tub with a big splash. 
You flatten your hands against his broad, defined chest and push him back, until he’s settled at the edge. Eyes soaking up his glistening, tanned skin, you run your fingernails along his scars, circling his nipple. 
Mingyu bites his lip, intently watching your fierce study of his body. He hesitantly reaches for your waist, waiting for your approval, when you lean into his touch, his arms are fast to grip your body. 
“How was it?” You whisper, doe eyes absolutely bloodthirsty, his second favourite lust. 
“Absolutely delightful,” He mimics your low tone, “He did not see it coming.”
You laugh, “How did you do it?” 
“Slit his fuckin’ throat. Neat and clean just like you like it.” His fingers trace your jaw, eyes very clearly scanning your face, craving your praise.
You smile, “You did so well, so good.” Leaning forward, you’re the one to initiate the kiss, but he’s the one to deepen it. 
His mouth is on yours hungrily, almost angry. His arm is curled around your waist, easily pulling your body up and settling you on his lap.
Tongue bullying into your lips, he pulls you to his chest. Your fingers find his hair, dampened in blood but still soft, so soft against your pulls. 
Lips devouring yours, hot and demanding, Mingyu has you whining under his kiss, your stomach jumping under the scathing electricity that runs down your arteries. 
He pulls away, all breathless and lustful-eyed, gazing you down so hungrily you feel your body shudder in anticipation. Soon, his lips are attached to your neck, tongue running hotter than you’d ever get accustomed to. He sucks and kisses your skin, leaving his claim for anyone to see — Not that he’d ever let anyone pay attention to you for more than a second. 
You’re painfully aware of the way his tongue obviously avoids your nipples, so you shove his head toward the right spot, not missing the way he laughs against your skin. 
Head thrown back, you focus on the way his lips expertly suck at your nipple, pinching and pulling until it stands hardened and tight, just begging for his attention. 
Your fingers dig into his scalp, bringing a welcome stinging sensation that has Mingyu moaning into your chest. 
“Need to taste you— Please, Please—“ His voice is breathless, a desperate plea that falls heavy on your core. 
You nod fervorously, letting him manhandle you as he wishes. His large, muscly arms have no issue lifting your body from the water and bending you over the edge. — He lays your towel over the wood, not allowing its rugged texture to ever bother your skin.
Mingyu moans at the sight of your dripping pussy, glistening under the dim candle light begging for his lips. Not once, would he ever tire of watching your body react to him.
He licks a long stripe along your slit, collecting your juice along his tongue, moaning at the way your taste immediately coats his lips. You feel the vibration of his humming straight in your core, ripping out the sweetest sigh out of your lips. 
Pulling your legs apart, he settles in his favourite spot. Slowly, he laps at your clit, watching it swell under his attention. Your body shudders at the slightest of his touch, of course, he trained you well to react to him and him only. 
Sucking and kissing at your sensitive bud, Mingyu watches you lose thread of sanity slowly. He expertly devours your cunt, fingernails digging into the abundant flesh of your hips drawing crescent-moon shapes along your skin. 
Your hips thrust to meet his tongue, rubbing your pussy along his nose and lips, and he whines sweetly, not wanting to miss a single drop of your essence. 
“Give me more—“ You moan out, gripping at the tub with all your strength. “Give me your fingers—“ 
He smirks against your skin, your juices dripping down his chin in a glorious, sinful coating. Hand running down your ass, he kneads at your skin, slapping and pinching. Mingyu is completely drunk on you.
“Does your tight little cunt want my fingers?” 
You hum in agreement, hips leaning back to meet his hand, presenting your gaping cunt in a shameless show. 
“I can’t hear you, beautiful,” He whispers against your throbbing pussy, you clench around nothing, sending your lubrication running down your thighs. 
“I— I want your fingers— My pussy wants your fingers,” You bite your lip, making sure you would punish him for so much teasing. “I want you to pound your fingers into me until I come around them—“
Mingyu hisses at your words, feeling them run down his skin and wrap around his cock, stirring it into a painful erection.
He gives you two fingers at once, your walls immediately clinging to them even as they scissor your hole open. His fingers reach places yours could never dream of, curling into your favourite spot.
Once he starts moving, you can only moan his name. 
“God, you’re so tight, how does my cock ever fit?” 
Mingyu leans forward, trailing kisses along your back, his fingers not stuttering once in their unforgiving pace. He admires the way your pussy swallows his long fingers, coating them completely. 
You can hear nothing but the lewd squelching of your pussy as his fingers pound in and out. 
When he notices your cries getting louder, Mingyu promptly wraps an arm around your waist, supporting your body as you reach your orgasm
You lean into his hold, riding out your climax with faint moans of his name. He doesn’t stop until you’ve gone limp in his arms, a satisfied smile on your lips.
“You did amazing,” Mingyu kisses your neck, slowly pulling out his fingers. He brings them to his lips, sighing at your taste, greedily slurping up every drop of your come. “You’re so good to me.”
“Oh, we’re not done.” You state, turning around to face him with a tired smirk, “You’re gonna carry me to bed and I’m going to milk your cock dry,” The borderline innocent smile you dawn on makes him choke.
Mingyu can only nod enthusiastically,feeling dizzy at the sudden bloodrush, “Yes, ma’am.”
He throws you over his shoulder, true to your command, and sends you onto your soft bedding — a couple of your many pillows fly toward the floor.
You watch him tower over your body, erection reddened and angry against his stomach. Head throbbing, aching and oozing glistening precum down his generous length.
No matter how many times you ever laid with him, his size never failed to surprise you. Long and deliciously thick, decorated with thick pulsating veins and curved just the right angle to hit all your favourite spots. His body emanates heat like a furnace, burning at every inch of your skin that meets him, his eyes ate you alive with their searing gaze.
Reaching your hand forward, you watch Mingyu lean into your fingers as you pump him a couple of times, making sure he’s all ready for you. He almost whines, puppy eyes begging you to give him the go.
He trembles under your touch, hands gathering into fists with low pleas. “Please— I won’t last— I want to come in you—“ His words do make your stomach flip with arousal.
With a smile, you spread your legs apart, running your hands over your thighs, presenting your sensitive, swollen, pussy.
With a pained groan, Mingyu reaches forward, running his tip along your folds, collecting your juices and spreading them over his length. You mewl at the contact, pushing your body to meet him.
He bullies his thick cock into your spent pussy inch-by-inch with a pleasured cry, “God, baby—“ He sighs, steadying his body with his arm, “You’re still— So tight.”
You’re both too overtaken by the breathtaking, wondrous feeling to come up with any intelligible words. You hum, feeling his cock split you open, filling you so deliriously good. 
“Oh, look at you pussy taking me so well,” He hisses, watching you greedily take every inch of him.
His name falls out of your lips like a prayer as he bottoms out, stuffing you completely full to the very brim and you swallow him up all nicely, walls welcoming him, pulsating in anticipation.
It takes a minute for you to settle, a long, torturous minute of your whines and incessant clenching. Mingyu grips your waist so tightly, gathering every ounce of his self-control to not cum right then and there.
Pulling his cock out is just about the hardest thing he has to do, giving up on your warmth feels unnatural and almost a sin. But knowing he gets to pound back into your little pussy makes it worth it. 
You whine when he’s out, clenching around nothing, missing his cock stretching you out to your limit, but he doesn’t let you wait long. 
Shoving himself back in, Mingyu groans out praise, never once letting you forget you’re absolutely made for his cock, taking him so perfectly. Lips agape, you wrap your arms around his neck, pulling him into a crashing kiss, you want to feel his beating heart against your chest, want to feel every bump and scar of his skin pressed tightly against yours.
Nothing feels as comforting as his body smothering you, his whole, unadulterated self completely loose in the safety of your bedroom, for your eyes only.
His body presses into yours, his arms holding your legs under your knees, folding them into the perfect position. The new angle allowing his cock to kiss your sweetest spot repeatedly. He moans into your lips, hips thrusting into you langlidly at first, letting you accept the stretch. 
Oh, but you were so greedy for him.
“Faster—‘ You breathe out, eyes glazed over in cockdrunk lust and Mingyu can only admire the exclusive beauty of your lustful desires.
“Mhm— You sure?” He teases with a kiss on the corner of your lips.
“Yeah— Go harder—“ Nodding, you chase his mouth wanting to taste his tongue.
Mingyu smiles into your kisses, speeding up his pace, pistoning into your cunt. He feels your tits bounce against his chest, hardened nipples rubbing against his skin, you’re lucky your pillows soften the blows of his harsh thrusts. 
Your essence pools into a ring around his cock, a white halo of your mixed juices. His balls slap against your ass with loud, obscene sounds, sending your body forward with every hard, calculated thrust. 
This new pace, though absolutely dizzying, don’t allow either of you to last very long. 
“I’m gonna—“ Mingyu whispers, burying his head in the crook of your neck, lips drunkenly running over your hot skin. 
“I know— You’re gonna give me your babies?” You hum.
He nods with a drawn out whine, head dazzled with thoughts of fucking his seed into you, making you his the best way possible. Watching you grow heavy with his babies, all round and pliant under him. 
“Yeah—“ He gulps, “Gonna fill you up.” Reaching a hand in between your bodies, Mingyu places his heavy hand over your stomach, he can faintly feel the contour of his cock thrusting in and out. “Right here. I’ll fuck my cum into you so deep it takes— Can you feel me, my Queen? Can you feel me pounding into your little pussy?”
You whine, nodding frantically, saliva drips from your gaping lips, “Yes—! So deep!”
“I’ll send you out there carrying my baby, looking so, so pretty— Everyone will know who knocked you up—“ 
You sigh, clenching at the tempting picture he paints with hazy, lustful promises in the quiet of the night. The very next thrust sends you into a shuddering climax, your hips shaking under his with the head-emptying electricity that burns through your limbs.
Your orgasm sends Mingyu right after, cock throbbing, spurting out thick white ropes of cum that fill you heavy and hot, painting your walls with his ownership.
He feels your walls clench incessantly around his sensitive cock, milking every last drop of seed so greedily, swallowing his very essence. You feel full, so full.
Mingyu collapses next to you, lazily pulling you into chest. He kisses your hair, laying back on the soft pillows, fingers unconsciously caressing your skin. 
You know he always gets incredibly tired after sex, so you would have limited time to talk. 
“I love you,” You whisper nervously, eyes not daring to meet his.
You held these feelings for decade, how could you not fall for his incredible charm? Mingyu was the only constant you had in your hectic life, he protected, cared for you in a way only he knew how. You had long fallen for your best friend.
When he doesn’t respond, you look up. 
He’s fallen into deep sleep, a soft snore escaping his gaping lips.
You smile, maybe next time, he’ll be awake to hear your confession. 
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thejournallo · 27 days
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THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THE VOID STATE AND THE VOID:
tag: @aestheticlizalis
As always, I will love to hear your thoughts! and if you have any questions, I will be more than happy to answer them! If you liked it, leave a comment or reblog (that is always appreciated!). if you are intrested in more method check the masterlist!
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Every time I end up talking about the void state, there is a part of me that tends to raise awareness about the void itself. It is a thing the void does not help you manifest, like the void state. In this post, I will try my best to explain how much these two things are truly different.
WARNING: COGNITO HAZARD (For those who do not know, a cognito hazard is a term used to describe an image, pattern, sound, or any other kind of sensory signal that directly causes harmful or undesired physiological or physical effects to one who senses or perceives it. (It is specifically used as a warning when talking about "forced awakening" things like the void.)
You are free to believe or not believe every word I will say in this post, and you are free to not believe every word I say. If, while reading this, you start to feel a negative emotion or a sensation as if you are lost or bodily or emotionally sick, DO NOT CONTINUE READING.
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let's get deeper in this rabbit hole shall we? 
i will talk breefly about the void state and then i will get in a more detailed way into what the void is, just because i aready explained the void state many times.
the void state:
is a state of deep meditation where you feel like floating and feel nothingness embodies you, making you feel one with the universe helping you to manifest. (Click the name if you actually want to know more.)
the void:
The void is nothing and everything at the same time. Let me explain better: the void is a place where everything is possible and exists, but at the same time is impossible and does not exist.  The thing is, the void in itself is a pass to every other dimension because every dimension resides in the void, even the cursed ones or the ones that never will be or never were timelines.  As a person with a lot of experience in the void itself, I will tell you that it is not a nice place.  Every kind of entity can catch you, good or evil, whatever they might be. As mere humans in the void, we are exposed to a lot of deep-rooted energy that corrupts our bodies in the long run. 
As humans, in the void, we can only "survive" in the backrooms.
what is a backroom?
One thing that is definitely more popular than the void itself are the backrooms that reside in the void. The backrooms became popular around 2012 as a SCP thing as images of liminal spaces. But I assure you, they are pretty much real, and they have many levels, not in a specific order. On every level, we can find different things and different entities, as mentioned before. We can find the good ones that will try to keep you safe and the bad ones that will literally try to kill you. 
I will also add that the backroom exists because we are the front room, so for every timeline in existence, there is a backroom, and much like the universe, the void is pretty much endless, so there are infinite possibilities for the frontroom and the backroom.
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why im i telling you this?
because I talk from experience, and let me tell you some of them were not fun. Still to this day, when I go to sleep, I find myself in the void. Bruh, I don't know how it simply happens. And that's been my life since I was 14 years old. I had my time to understand and learn a few rules to exit the backrooms fast enough or not to be killed. 
I will put them at the end, but first, a little check on the main differences that we found out about the void state and the void itself:
The void state is a meditation; the void is an "endless place.".
The void can be a dangerous place, but the void state is harmless.
The void state helps us connect with the universe; the void is not used to manifest.
The void is a constant state of rooted energy, which means, in more basic words, that the energy in the void is dirty, and on the long run, a normal human will not "survaive.". In the void state, it is your energy.
In the void state, we find only ourselves; in the void, we can find an endless amount of dimensions, timelines, frontrooms and backrooms, entities, and liminal spaces. Some are all put together.
If you decide to go into the void state, it is a conscious decision. You can mistakenly enter the void by just falling asleep.
Those are the main differences, just because I can't say much more about the void itself because, as said before, it is a forced awakening, and I don't want people to feel sick with too much information. 
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if by mystake you enter the backrooms here some rules that will help you get out faster:
Don't scream; you will give off your location to any type of entity. In whatever level you enter, you will find the exit in the same level.
Not every level is scary. Some have flowers and are pretty; others are simple rooms. Those levels are safe as long as you don't hurt yourself. Be careful.
Don't take stairs, and don't jump in holes or on poles. Again, you will find the exit on the same level as you entered.
If you see fluffy entities, look at their eyes first. If the eyes are blue, they are friendly; any other color is to be avoided.
There is only one entity that is 100% friendly and will help you. It looks like a shadow with no features; it does not talk, but you will understand her.
If you hear a sound, go in the opposite direction; if you feel like a sound surrounds you, hide and stay still no matter what; some entities don't have eyes.
If you can't find the exit, pray to whatever god you believe in, and good entities will find you and help you.
On rare occasions, you might find other humans; don't trust them; they are no longer humans.
and I think that I said everything that has to be said. If you have any questions, I will be more than happy to answer them, and I hope you did not feel sick or do any negative things from this post.
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saltwatersweets · 2 months
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yknow, given the fact that it’s entirely possible wounds created by angelic weapons don’t fully heal (since vaggie’s eye never healed), and the fact that adam attacked alastor with an angelic weapon, and the fact i’ve seen a few fics in which alastor deals with chronic pain in his chest wound because of the injury, i’m surprised i’ve never seen anyone bring up an idea where adam’s axe landed just a foot or so above where it did in canon and ended up taking out alastor’s eyes, similar to how lute did with vaggie.
i’m not sure if i would be comfortable writing about this, given i am not physically disabled and i’m not sure if i could accurately portray blindness (especially with a character like alastor, who’s already so difficult to write), but i’d love to see this idea explored somehow. alastor is already someone who wants to be the most powerful (or at least in control) person in the room and so taking away his sight in a permanent way would definitely affect him badly. another reason i’m not sure i would want to write this out: the internalized ableism would be off the CHARTS. not to mention, a wound to the face isnt something he can hide like he could with a chest wound, so the other hotel inhabitants at least would see what happened as soon as they realised he was still alive after the extermination. he would not be happy about their endless concern one bit.
tl;dr: what if alastor was permanently blind after the extermination?
here are some ideas i have regarding this au (please let me know if any of them come off as insensitive):
alastor probably would try to use the recent lack of eyes to his advantage. after all, outside of one’s mouth, the eyes are typically the most expressive part about a person. even when he’s trying to conceal his emotions, you can tell what he’s feeling because of the expressions in his eyes. now, however, he’s even MORE difficult to read, which he likes to think gives him more control. the eyes are a window to the soul, they say? not anymore!
he looks rather similar to rosie now (based off how vaggie looked like when charlie first found her after she fell, with her eye socket just being dark and black)! once he’s accepted what happened to him, they’ll make an occasional joke about how now he looks more like a typical cannibal in hell, it just took him a century to catch up.
vaggie and him bond over losing one or more eyes because of adam (whether directly or indirectly). he hates the fact that he genuinely is more fond of her after this experience, because she never treats him like something about to break, for better or worse.
speaking of which, i feel the need to say that despite alastor likely viewing himself as weaker after the loss of his eyesight, he is not inherently weaker. it takes him a long time to know he is not ruined, he is just changed. doesn’t mean his musical mental breakdown in episode eight isn’t even worse than before now though. he hates that this has happened to him, that he has been permanently injured in this way, but he learns to live (or… exist? since he’s already dead) with it and accept his disability as a part of himself.
his staff (once repaired) and ears are incredibly helpful, especially since deer can hear extremely well. his shadow and microphone are also extensions of himself, so though he can’t see through them per se, they keep him from crashing into things when he’s in an unfamiliar area.
once mimzy gets over being “kicked out” of the hotel so to speak, they’ll still hang out and dance together! she doesn’t think of him as any lesser or any weaker after what happened, he’s still able to keep up with her on the dance floor even if it is a bit more difficult now.
the hotel inhabitants and some other people he regularly meets with will occasionally read his favourite books aloud to him (there were books in his room so i headcanon he likes to read in his free time). he never says it aloud, but he does genuinely appreciate this. he particularly enjoys it when niffty sits still long enough to read to him, especially if she’s reading out a cookbook and helping him make food. it is physically impossible for her to sound condescending to him.
on the other hand, charlie reading aloud is a mixed bag, because although she’ll always try to make it entraining for him (by being very animated in her voice acting), she’ll often interrupt herself to disavow the fictional violence. also, it is physically impossible for her to NOT sound condescending to him. he’s not a wayward sinner down on his luck for her to swoop in and save, after all! he doesn’t need her to try and “fix” him.
he has allowed angel to read to him a SINGULAR time, because while his voice acting is quite entertaining and he won’t complain about the violence (he has no room to talk, given the scripts he acts out), angel would rather die (again) than quit making sex jokes every two minutes. he could be reading a cookbook and sneak in a “that’s what she said” a good three times in a single page.
one of the first things charlie does upon seeing alastor is still alive after the extermination is ask lucifer to heal him, and lucifer has to tell her it’s not something that he can do. it’s actually something charlie initially responds with anger about, because at first she thinks he’s just refusing to heal alastor just because he doesn’t like him. it’s vaggie who steps in to calm her down, because she knows personally that angelic wounds can’t be fully healed. it’s been three years, she’s not expecting her eye back by now.
alternatively, it’s easy to imagine charlie still asking lucifer to TRY and heal him regardless, because maybe if they just try hard enough, they can do it! so lucifer tries. and it does not work. naturally, this only serves to make alastor more pissed off. he melts into his shadow and goes into his room, and doesn’t come back out until that night.
the next thing charlie does is spend no less than four hours looking up accommodations she can make to the hotel for someone with no sight. braille to all the rooms and other things that are labeled is among the first she gets lucifer to implement, as well as keeping nearly all of the floors loud tile instead of carpeted, so alastor can tell if someone else is in the room with him.
i swear i’m trying to think of something distinct for husk because his dynamic with alastor is so interesting to me, but i really can’t think of anything super specific. one thing that does stick out is that, like vaggie, he never regards alastor with pity, because he knows alastor better than most and knows he’s still extremely powerful. i’ve always thought alastor somewhat appreciates husk’s unflinching honesty (even though it’s a trait of his that undeniably pisses him off at times), and so he knows husk isn’t lying or acting when he still treats him the same way as before the extermination.
alastor will still make radio broadcasts, even if just for his own amusement. you don’t need to be able to see to be able to talk, after all! if anything, this experience only makes him hate television and modern day technology more. at least he revels in the knowledge that it is now impossible for vox to hypnotize him, if he ever dared to try.
he’ll make. so many eye puns. TOO MANY eye puns. you know that joke where people are like “we can’t ever let alastor know he’s asexual because if he does, the amount of ace jokes he’ll make will be through the roof”? yeah, it gets that bad.
i like the headcanon that alastor likes to draw on occasion (given the all but stated fact that he drew the hotel in the commercial in episode 1, as well as a few unnecessary but fun doodles outside of that), and he is initially saddened to realize that this is something he won’t be able to do anymore. however, niffty ALSO likes drawing, and she likes to rope him in to her drawings by force, giving him paper and crayons and always being completely honest if he ever asks what colour is in his hand. he’ll even occasionally let her move his hand to the right spot on his paper if he ever forgets where he drew the lines on his paper before. she likes to spend as long as she needs describing her drawings in vivid detail - she will talk to him about her gorey artwork, and no one will stop her!
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