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whatthefishh · 8 months

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Sativa

Rydal Keener x f!reader

Part of the Oxford Comma series

Warnings: drug use (weed), studying excessively, oral (f receiving), mentions of p in v sex, baby cow eyes.

Word count: 2.2k

A/N: this took me way longer than I intended to write, it’s been a really difficult time in my mind for me and to those who are waiting for requests / chapters of other fics ily for being patient with me ❤️ huge thanks to my lovely mutuals who helped me, especially @xbellaxcarolinax for reading it over several times 🌹 love you

The room was slowly filling with the distinct smell of marijuana, little puffs of air spilling from Rydal’s lips as he took yet another drag of his joint before he tried to proposition you again.

“Wanna take a break now? It’s not like you can absorb the information by just staring at the textbook. Doesn’t work that way.”

You only sigh in response.

“A little smoke might make all those theories seem a little less… theoretical, yknow?” He laughs at the end of his quip like he finds himself extremely amusing.

“Oh, you think me finally giving in to your bad influence will help me pass this exam? You really think that’s the best way to study right now? Really?”

“Not a bad influence, princess, just wanna help you relax,” Rydal says while pushing your hair over your shoulder from where he was lying on his side next to you.

Smacking his hand away, you huff in annoyance. This wasn’t the first time he’s offered it to you, and it was never pressuring. He offered because he offered everything to you, and this was just another one of those things. You didn’t mind the smell. It was just irritating when you were trying to study and were very clearly stressed.

Rydal had learned these concepts from childhood, the topics of discussion in class were the same ones he’d have with his family at dinner, with his father over drinks at the early age of 14 back when he was obsessed with being just like him. The books on the syllabus were his summer readings as a child, the younger version of him desperate to impress with big words and bigger ideas, learning the hows and why’s of socialism when all his peers were riding their bicycles around the neighborhood. He didn’t have to focus as much as you did at this moment. And right now? Your brain was at its limit, barely digesting the words on the pages in front of you.

You lowered the textbook into your lap, turning to look down at him. His head was on the pillow next to you, eyes boring into yours calmly.

You felt your resolve slipping.

“None of this makes sense anymore.”

“What doesn’t?” He asked quietly, changing his teasing tone to match your somber one.

“It’s like, it’s like I’m reading the same thing over and over but I know—“

“You already know everything, you’re overthinking—“

“No, that’s what you think, but the last time I talked to your dad and he full-on tested me—“

“—wasn’t testing you, it came up organically so that doesn’t count—“

“Yes! Yes, he was! Who casually asks someone what their opinion on direct versus indirect democracies is over lunch? Like, what the fuck was I supposed to say?” Your voice is bordering on shrill, the memory of Lawrence’s unimpressed gaze and your face heating up in embarrassment as you struggled for words flashing through your mind.

“I’m sure he’d love hearing your rehearsed opinion next time. For now, though, I’d love to hear your opinion on something else.”

“Does it have to do with our actual reading material or does it have something to do with getting lost in a cloud of smoke with you?” You raise an eyebrow at him.

“I just wanna make you feel better, baby, is that so wrong?” Rydal is looking up at you, unwavering, moving to finger the edge of the sweater you had on before dipping his hand underneath to rest on your back.

Looking at him with those eyes, the intense deep stare he held; his pink lips and their slight upturn, gentle and playful all at once —you made up your mind.

Propping your hand to take the joint from him, he doesn’t give it but instead, he sits up to guide it to your lips himself, his other hand clutching your waist. Rydal rests the tip of it against your lips, his eyes watching the way you wrap them around it delicately and you swear you could see his pupils dilate and hear his breathing slow down.

“Take it nice and slow, deep breath,” he murmurs, eyes locked on your mouth as you inhale, “hold it, that’s it. Good girl. Now slowly exhale.”

You did as you were told, feeling the smoke fill up your lungs and burn slightly as you held it, and then exhaled straight into Rydal’s face.

“Oh god, sorry I didn’t realize how close—“

Before you could finish speaking, he took a deep drag of the joint and hungrily pressed his lips against yours, inadvertently blowing the smoke into your mouth while doing so. You could feel his warm breath mixing with yours, your hearts beating in unison as his lips worked yours. The almost sweet and earthy taste of the weed seeps into your lungs as his tongue claims your mouth. Everything was overwhelming and thrilling and arousing and beautiful and he felt so good right then that you wanted to claw your way into his lap and stay there, burrow into his chest until you were warm and safe.

Rydal would keep you safe, with him. He would.

Pulling apart for air, you don’t remember who moved first but he was tossing your textbook on the floor while you were peeling your sweater off, the room becoming instantly warmer, the need to be closer to him making you antsy. Needy.

The effects of the smoke kicked in sometime between kissing Rydal stupid and him taking off your bottoms, his eyes stripping you faster than his hands could. You were clutching his shoulders, desperate to keep him close especially once the weight settled over you and your limbs felt heavier.

He had to stay close, you couldn’t let him leave you at this moment. Your arousal mixed with the slight paranoia that came with the high resulted in a very strong desire to stay as close as you could to Rydal, needing him more than you could put into words. You hoped he understood from how tight you were holding him, from how much you were whining when he dragged a finger down your soaked panties.

You flopped back against his pillows and despite being naked, you didn’t feel cold, your eyes and nipples pointed to the ceiling as he kissed his way down your tummy. He already laved your breasts with his mouth, the traces of saliva he left behind from wrapping his mouth around your peaks now making them pebble in the evening air. Rydal’s hands were everywhere, his tongue dipping out every few seconds to taste your skin. The effects of the high made you hypersensitive to the maelstrom of sensations, his touches feeling ten times more powerful and intimate than usual.

You didn’t realize it, but you were making all the pretty and perfect noises for him, breathy moans louder than usual while he explored your soft skin, harshly panting and voice wavering on little moans. You were driving him up the wall, his hips softly grinding into his blanket for some relief while he mouthed over the top of your underwear.

Rydal’s mouth wrapped around your clothed clit, letting his drool soak the material until he could suck it and hear your shocked squeal of pleasure. You buried your hands in his soft hair, strands slipping through like gossamer.

He lifted his mouth an inch just to hook a finger around the gusset and plant an open mouth kiss on the very core of you. He was sweet like that.

Apparently, your panties were too much of an obstruction for him as they were ripped from your legs a moment later so that he could spread you open with his fingers. Licking a stripe up your dripping cunt, Rydal dived in, eyes closed, his nose gently nudging your clit while he tongued at your opening. He continued to tongue fuck you, slowly moving in and out of your little hole leaving you gasping and moaning lowly, tugging on his hair. He continued this little routine; licking up your peeled-back core, tonguing inside your cunt, and then to rile you up that much more, he would let his teeth graze your clit.

Rydal’s fingers were stuck gripping your thighs, leaving indents from how tight he had to hold you down just so you’d stop squirming. You were so restless from him edging you, almost cumming several times but he’d pull back, blowing cool air on your core just to take you all the way again. Occasionally, he would moan into you, swirling his tongue around your clit just to suckle on it sweetly as if it were honey he was drinking on. You were whining pathetically as you buck your hips up into his mouth, the synthetic dose of dopamine only serving to heighten your pleasure. Your limbs felt heavy, you could’ve been 10 feet underground, plunged deep within the earth itself, body like lead, and the only thing you could focus on was the way Rydal’s mouth lapped at you, slurping obscenely as he made you choke on a moan.

This time around, he didn’t let up, his tongue working double time as he stared up at you, his hands pushing your thighs further apart to give him the space to fuck you with his tongue with purpose. He was intent on making you cum, fucking finally. You tried to ask, tried to form the words to beg him – maybe you did, maybe you were begging him more than you usually did, maybe that’s why he was finally giving in to you, you really couldn’t remember what you were saying – but it seemed he wasn’t stopping. Reaching up with one hand to entwine his fingers with yours and resting it on your tummy, he groaned, almost as if giving you the permission you were waiting for to let go, that it was okay, that he’d take care of you, catch you when you inevitably fall.

And fall you did. Hard.

Eyes shutting, head thrown back, floating and sinking simultaneously, his mattress was soaked not only with your release but with sweat, your body feeling seven different emotions at once as you finally came into his eagerly awaiting mouth. Rydal was there just as he promised, made you feel good – brilliant, intoxicated, euphoric – true to his word.

The comedown was… interesting.

Rydal was still holding your hand, thumb rubbing the back of your palm while he nuzzled your thigh, resting his head and blinking up at you while you caught your breath. He was a sight to behold, his gorgeous hair mussed from your restless hands, lips shiny and swollen from use and his eyes, so fucking deep and loving and still hungry.

The giggling started, hazy thoughts from the high making it hard to stop, taking the weight off your chest as it continued. Thinking about how you were aggressively pushing his hands away from you just moments before letting you wreck his comforter had you covering your face, releasing another peal of laughter. Rydal’s lazy half-smile while watching you only made it worse, knowing he thought you were a lightweight and would definitely tease you about it later. Kissing his way back up your body, pressing his mouth lovingly on your soft parts, he met you at his pillow, smiling down at you prettily. You sigh after the last little laugh leaves your chest, eyes sparkling up at him and suddenly feeling bashful.

“Never heard you beg so nicely before,” he says, smiling, kissing the corner of your mouth before snickering at your embarrassed groan. “‘Pleasepleaseplease, oh GOD–’”

“Ssshhhhhhutthefuckup oh my god, I did not sound like that,” you shoved your hands on his face, hastily trying to cover his mouth from speaking and imitating you again. Your cheeks burned. You didn’t sound like that, right?

“Mmmph, yeah actually, you’re right. It was much worse,” he managed, despite your fingers slipping into (his?) mouth. After gently removing them, he held them down against the bed before leaning forward to hover right above your lips, “it’s okay, baby, I liked it. Can you do it again for me?”

And then he held your gaze, like a fucking siren, knowing exactly the effect he had on you and your now achingly empty pussy, the muscles clenching around nothing as he let his breath mingle with yours. Rydal didn’t kiss you, just stared at you with his eyelids low waiting for you to beg him.

“Are you gonna let me take care of you? Gonna ask me nicely?” He was so close but kept himself away until the only thing you could focus on was syncing up the movement of your lungs. His denial only made you want him more, desperation bleeding out from you.

“Mhmm,” you whimpered.

“Yeah? That the best you can do?”

“P-please.”

“There it is,” he mumbled, gripping his length in one hand, lining himself up to slowly push himself in, the fat tip of him stealing your breath.

Rydal never got enough of the way your sweet pussy gripped him, and made sure to pull as many soft pleas out of you as he could for the rest of the night.

#rydal keener #Rydal keener fanfiction #Rydal keener smut #Oxford comma series #yes this is about Rydal keener #rydal keener x reader #Rydal keener x f!reader #the two faces of january #oscar isaac fandom #oscar isaac fanfiction

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romanarose · 8 months

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Fic Recs

I'll admit I've been slacking. A lot. It was a high anxiety summer as you know, and I've finally been able to pretty much cut ties with an abusive friend who was causing a LOT of those anxiety and panic attacks. BUT I want to rec some of my fav writers and fav stories.

To keep the presure low on myself I am only linking ONE story per writer, whatever story that speaks to me. I do hope if you like the story you'll check out more from them!

Please remember to reblog their stories if you read them, and if you feel inclinded, leave a kind comment! Big comments are fantastic but even a short "Great story!" Means the world!

Dead Dove Do Not Eat and all dark fics will be in red. Might make a whole other dddne tag list on my dark blog on of these days lmfao

Moon Knight

Fractured Moon by @melodygatesauthor : DDDNE Yandere Moon boys x reader, non con, extreme violence but such good interpretations of the boys

Friendly Favors by @runa-falls best friend steven, friends with benefits??? friends to lovers??? yes plzzz

Rydal Keener

Oxford Comma by @whatthefishh : Collage AU, Rydall is cunty, serves cunt, and eats cunt. What can I say.

TLOU (Most of what I'm reading rn if im being honest)

Linger On by @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin : Pre-outbreak!Joel, angst, yummy smut, ft. my boyfriend, Tommy (Angela said I can be Tommy's gf)

Caught by @toxicanonymity : Inspired Keep Cry'n, Joel catches you when you try to run, masterbates onto your face. part 2 has TOMMMYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

Maintainence Man series by @gracieispunk : Joel is a, well, Maintenace man in our building! He is married but that doesn't stop him from fucking you

Hungry Hearts @atinylittlepain : If ya'll know me, you know I love Bruce Springsteen. I have 2 fics named after springsteen songs, one joel one javi/santi/reader. I've fallen behind on the series but loved it enough to make fan art! terrible fan art but still! Pre-outbreak, takes place in two timelines- college age and then the 2000'. Joel has Sarah, reader is ellies mom which I think is fun.

Exit Wounds by @strang3lov3 : No fic masterlist so I tagged the main masterlist. Now listen. I love Tommy Y'all know I love tommy... but cheating on tommy? Im so sorry baby. But ur also an asshole lol. Had it coming.

Creep by @theywhowriteandknowthings : I- ugh just read it. darkish but nothing insane like the wrong way lmfao. pretty mild comparatively but use discression but THAT TWISTTTTTTTT

Only Daddy That'll Walk the Line by @millerscoffee Yellow istead of red bc its not like. dark but Joel's pretty mean

Not A Survialist Girl by @tightjeansjavi again yellow bc joel's a dick lol but THE DIRTY TALK?!?!?!?!?!?!?

Miguel O'Hara

Halo by @missdictatorme : Miguel O'Hara goes full Nathan Bateman and fucks his ai. Whore.

Only You Only Me by @astroboots : so im behind on this one too. What about it! Im terrible I know but like Hungry Hearts above I may be a slow reader but I didn't forget and also did stupid fan art of this great fic too. lol. Anyway plz read this, I cant give a great summary bc im only a few chapters in but if youre in the oscar fandon you know cici writes only bangers

No One But Me by @koshkamartell : You try to break things off with Joel and begin spending time with the hot librrian in Jackson. Joel does not like thi

Triple Frontier

Under Neon Lights by @campingwiththecharmings : sexy drunk sex with my baby boi, santi <3

Through the Scope by @ssuperficialspacecadett : Reader works for Benny and falls for frankie. Great relationships with all the boys, reader has sexual trauma so you knoooooooow i eat these fics up!!!! lovely to see all them be appriciated with special focus on FRANKIE my precious lol guy

Shared Breathes by @frenchiereading : DAD FRANKIE x teacher reader. Triple frontier may have forgotten Frankie has a baby (he deserved the money for her) BUT WE DID NOT!!!!!

The Story of Us by @pimosworld : You served in the military with the boys but they made a deal not to sleep with you. Years later after helping you escape abuse, one by one they begin to waver aka you fuck them all. FishBen as a bonus!!

Goddamn have I really only been reading TLOU XD lmfao makes sense bc thats mostly what Im writing. That and the Javier pena x reader x santi and then the will fic but im soooooooooo much of a TLOU whore rn its insane.

Im sure ill remeber some more amazing TF fics soon but for now here we are!

Gonna plug real quick my latest one shot tho bc it's a holiday and I can self promo if I want! Shana Tova, moon boys x non jewish!reader where the moon boys share a part of their jewish identity with you!

THANK YOU TO ALL WRITERS FOR YOUR HARD WORK, I APPRICIATE YOU!

If you ever seen my like and not reblog know its just bc I forgot and im sorry. If you ever tagged me in a tag game and i never responded its bc I forgot and again IM SORRY

If I didnt tag anyone and you think i didt think your fic was worthy THATS NOT IT im simply overwhelmed with how much ive read and how this summer was and i just havnt organized it all. Im sorry!!

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thearcherprentiss · 1 year

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Criminal Minds as things my friends have said pt. 3

Emily: "Look, the webcam makes me look so much worse than I really do! It makes me look ugly!"

Morgan: "I don’t see a difference."

Emily: "HEY!"

Morgan: "They should make pencils in other colors. They would make a lot of money off of those."

JJ: "They already do?"

Morgan: "Wait what?"

JJ: "You didn’t have colored pencils as a kid?"

Morgan, with attitude: “We were poor, Jennifer."

Hotch: "Jack and I are going to see family this weekend."

Emily: "It is so hard for me to grasp the idea that you have family that I've never seen. The same goes for Reid. I can't imagine him having a family."

Reid: "That's because I don't have one."

*stunned silence*

Reid: "You son of a snickerdoodle! You flat-footed son of a gummy bear! You meanie zucchini!"

Emily: "Reid's insults are supposed to be alternatives to cussing, but they're actually the serotonin that gets me through the day."

Reid: "This is boring."

Morgan: "You voluntarily wrote an essay about semicolons. You're not allowed to say anything is boring."

Reid: "There's actually a lot of controversy surrounding semicolons-"

Morgan: "Reid, the Oxford comma thing you were saying the other day wasn't real controversy, and this isn't real controversy either."

Reid, under his breath: "The oxford comma is a HUGE controversy."

Luke: “My type usually isn’t murderous women who stab people.”

Emily: “Good, mine is. More for me.”

Emily: “It’s toxic homosexuality.”

Morgan: “What’s that?”

Emily: “It’s like toxic masculinity, but yassified.”

Luke: “I hate English. Just looking at the word lettuce makes me mad. It should be pronounced letoosay!”

Reid: “Don't let the children of Mount Hellen steal your eyelashes for sacrificing to their ethereal snake gods.”

The team collectively: “The fuck?????”

Reid: “Just making sure you were paying attention.”

Rossi: “And that’s what you came up with? You need help Spencer.”

Morgan: “Do you like Reese’s cups?”

Emily: “Yes.”

Morgan: “Sucks to be you then, because I bought you some and you’re eating them!”

Emily: “I literally said yes?”

Morgan: “Oh… sorry. I wasn’t expecting you to say something normal like that.”

Emily: "That sweater goes good with your eyeballs."

JJ: "It scares me that that is your idea of a normal compliment."

Emily: “Please, you’ve never done anything even remotely illegal.”

Garcia: “Actually, I committed arson in my hometown. Twice.”

Emily: “You WHAT? …Is it bad that I like you even more now that you’re an arsonist?”

Rossi: “I like to wear gym clothes out in public to give people the impression that I work out. I don’t, but how would they know that?”

*Reid and Jack playing chess*

Jack: “The little one is moving back behind the horse, he’s scared!”

Reid: “It’s a chunk of wood, it doesn’t have feelings.”

Hotch: “Reid… why do I keep letting you be around him?”

Reid: “Honestly I don’t know either.”

#incorrect criminal minds quotes #criminal minds #spencer reid #emily prentiss #derek morgan #jennifer jareau #dave rossi #aaron hotchner #penelope garcia #luke alvez #sorry i keep making these #but my friends say a lot of dumb stuff #i have to use what i've been given

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writingquestionsanswered · 1 year

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Hi! I feel like I over use commas or use them in places that don't need them, sometimes I just generally struggle to know where to place them. It looks both right AND wrong with a comma sometimes. I struggle with this especially when writing anything outside of dialog. I guess how do I know if I am using comma's correctly, or how do I use them correctly? I'm not entirely sure how to word my question lol. TYIA

Proper Use of Commas

Unnecessary commas can slip into the oddest places. Even seasoned writers can struggle with them sometimes. First, a couple of quick notes... Comma Rules Can Vary: There are some variations in comma use rules between British English and American English, and I'd imagine that's true in any language, so be sure to look up the rules specific to the dialect or language you're writing in. The Oxford Comma: When a comma is used to separate items in a list, in British English, the last two items are not separated by a comma unless it would be confusing otherwise. So... American English = I need to buy bread, milk, and butter.

British English = I need to buy bread, milk and butter.

But, let's say you're going to the store with cousins and your friends Sarah and Ted. In this case, not using the Oxford comma for the last two items would be confusing:

I'm going to the store with my cousins, Sarah and Ted.

That makes it sound like Sarah and Ted are the cousins, so using the Oxford comma would clear that up:

I'm going to the store with my cousins, Sarah, and Ted. When to Use Commas in American English

1 - To separate items in a list: I have been to Idaho, Maine, Texas, and Vermont.

2 - To separate a series of phrases: I need to buy a loaf of bread, a container of milk, and a stick of butter.

3 - To separate two independent clauses (complete statements): It's two-hundred years old, but it's a beautiful house.

4 - To separate an introductory clause from the rest of the sentence: By the time we got to the hotel, the rooms were already booked.

5 - After introductory interjections and conjunctive adverbs:

Yes, we arrived late. But, we couldn't have left earlier. Yet, we could have stopped fewer times. However, we enjoyed the stops.

6 - Before a question of confirmation: You set the alarm clock, didn't you? 7 - To separate coordinate adjectives: The dress was long, blue, and made of silk.

8 - To introduce quoted dialogue:

The speaker stepped up to the podium and said, "Welcome to our annual meeting."

9 - To separate places, dates, etc:

The train arrived in Washington, D.C., in the afternoon of January 10th, 1887.

10 - And finally... when NOT to use commas:

After the last item in a list: I bought bread, milk, and butter, at the store.

When there are only two items in a list: I bought bread, milk at the store.

Between two related actions: I laid in the snow, and made a snow angel.

I hope that helps!

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duckprintspress · 2 months

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Round Table Discussion: Grammar Pet Peeves

Today, March 4th, is National Grammar Day! Last year, we celebrated with six of our favorite grammar quirks. This year, we’re going to the other end of the spectrum: we had a conversation with our editors and blog contributors about grammar things we hate. They may be technically correct, but that doesn’t mean they don’t make us crazy. Eighteen people, many anonymous, contributed to this discussion.

Dangling Modifiers

boneturtle: Dangling modifiers, hands down. Even when I can decipher what the writer meant based on context, it viscerally hurts me every time. When I am editing I have to stand up and take a lap around my apartment when I hit a dangling modifier. Remind myself that I am here to help. Learn more about dangling modifiers.

Commas

anonymous: Commas are not difficult! Commas end phrases. Full stop. That’s all they do. Is a phrase necessary to the grammatical coherence of the sentence? if the answer is yes, no commas because that phrase hasn’t ended. If the answer is no, commas! comma hug that bish if it’s the middle of a sentence. The difference between grammatical and informational is whether or not the sentence makes sense without the phrase.

Examples:

The man who ordered the six double anchovy pizzas claims to have a dolphin in his pool.

You need “who ordered the six double anchovy pizzas” because you need to identify which man you’re talking about. The world is full of many men.

The ancient Buick, which Madeleine purchased via Craigslist, belched black smoke whenever she pressed the accelerator.

We don’t need to know how Madeleine purchased the car for the sentence to make sense. You don’t even meed “Madeleine” for the grammar to make sense. Therefore, hug that phrase!

(a comma on each side of the phrase) or give it a dramatic send off with a comma and an end punctuation. (i could go into conjunctions, too, but those are a little more complex, and if you were taught them properly, i understand not getting the comma use 😂 )

Prepositions at the End of Sentences

Tris Lawrence: There was a dictionary (Merriam-Webster? Oxford? idek) that posted recently on social media about how the rule about not ending a sentence with a preposition came from English scholars trying to make English line up with Latin, and that it’s totally okay to do it… and I’m just wanting to point to it to yell THIS because uhhh trying to rework sentences to not end in a preposition often creates clunky awkward things (my opinion, I recognize this).

D. V. Morse: Ending sentences/clauses with a preposition. Well, not doing that is supposed to be the rule, but depending on the sentence, it can be a convoluted mess to try and avoid it. Winston Churchill famously told someone off after they “caught” him breaking that rule, saying, “This is the type of arrant pedantry up with which I will not put.” (Yes, I had to look that up.)

Pronoun Confusion

anonymous: I hate playing the pronoun game when reading. I hate it in life when someone comes up to me and tells me a story involving 2 people of the same pronouns and stops using names halfway through, and I hate it while reading too. Nothing makes me fall out of scene more if I don’t know who just did/said what. Use names. That’s why we have them.

Nina Waters: epithets. If I know the characters name…why? Also, when people use “you” in third person writing. There are times I’ll allow it as an editor/times when I do think it’s at least acceptable but not gonna lie, I absolutely hate it.

anonymous: My pet peeve … I read hundreds of essays in a given month for work, plus a whole lot of fanfic for fun. A rising issue that I have noticed in both places is incomplete sentences (lacking subjects, typically). I think it’s because people rely on Google’s grammar checker to tell them if something is wrong and…Google doesn’t check for that apparently. I’m increasingly convinced that my high schoolers simply weren’t taught sentence structure, because when I ask them to fix it they almost universally say some variant of “I don’t understand what you’re asking me to do.” Therefore, it might be punching down a little to complain about it. I’m not sure. It does drive me nuts though. Lol

“Would Of”

Neo Scarlett: Not quite sure if that falls under grammar, but I hate hate hate when people use “should of” instead of should’ve. Or “would of.” It just makes my toe nails curl up because it may sound right, but it looks wrong and is wrong.

Semi-Colons

Shea Sullivan: I saw a list punctuated by semicolons recently and that made me froth at the mouth a bit.

anonymous: I think any editor who’s worked with me knows that I have a pet peeve about using colons or semi-colons in dialogue. Or really, any punctuation mark that I don’t think people can actually pronounce. Semicolons can live anywhere that I don’t have to imagine a character actually pronouncing them.

English isn’t Dumb!

theirprofoundbond: As a former linguistics student, it bugs me a lot when people say that English is a dumb or stupid language because it has borrowed from so many languages. What people mean when they say this is, “English can be really difficult (even for native speakers).” But I wish people would say that, instead of “it’s dumb/stupid.” Languages are living things. Like other living things, they adapt and evolve. English is basically a beautiful, delightful platypus. Let it be a platypus.

Dei Walker: I remember seeing somewhere that English has four types of rules (I’m trying to find the citation today) and everyone conflates them. And I guess my pet peeve is that everyone treats them equally when they’re NOT. There are rules but not all of them are the same – there’s a difference between “adjectives precede nouns” (big truck, not *truck big) and “don’t split infinitives” (which is arbitrary).

And, because we couldn’t resist, here are some of our favorite things, because when we asked for pet peeves…some people still shared things they loved instead of things they hated.

Oxford Comma

Terra P. Waters: I really really love the Oxford comma.

boneturtle: me: [in kindergarten, using oxford comma]

teacher: no, we don’t add a comma between the last two objects in a list.

me: that’s illogical and incorrect.

anonymous: I will forever appreciate my second grade teacher’s explanation of Oxford comma use: Some sentences are harder to understand if you don’t use it, but no sentence will ever be harder to understand because you do use it. Preach, Mrs. D

anonymous: I am definitely Team Oxford Comma. I even have a bumper sticker which says so

Other Favorites

Shea Sullivan: I adore the emdash, to every editor’s chagrin.

Shadaras: zeugmas! I think they’re super cool!

Shea Sullivan and Hermit: I use sentence fragments a lot. Fragments my beloved.

English Grammar vs. Grammar in Other Languages

anonymous: so in English my favourite thing is the parallel Latin and Saxon registers because of how that affects grammar, but in Japanese my favourite grammatical thing is the use of an actual sound at the end of the sentence to denote a question, as opposed to how in English we use intonation? Also how in Japanese the sentence structure requires reasoning first and action second in terms of clauses. So rather than go “let’s go to the cinema because it’s raining and I’m cold,” you’d go “because it’s raining and I’m cold, let’s go to the cinema.” (My least favourite thing is the lack of spaces between words in the written form but that’s purely because I find that level of continuous letters intimidating to translate.)

I also love how Japanglish in the foreign communities in Japan starts to develop its own grammatical structure as a way of situating yourself in this space between the two languages. It’s used as a call-sign of belonging to that specific community, because in order to make some of the jokes and consciously break the rules of English or Japanese grammar and/or choose to obey one or the other, you’re basically displaying your control over both/knowledge of them. Like, the foreign community in Japan is often a disparate group of people with multiple different native languages who are relying on their knowledge of at least one non-native language but often two to signify their status in the group as Also An Outsider and I think that’s really interesting.

Nina Waters: Chinese and Japanese both drop subjects, and Chinese doesn’t have like… a/the… Japanese doesn’t have a future tense… Chinese kinda sorta doesn’t have tenses at all… (these are not pet peeves, btw, I love how learning a language with such different ways of approaching these things reshapes my brain). Chinese also doesn’t really have yes or no.

There’s a joke somewhere on Tumblr about that, though I actually think it’s about using “a” versus “the,” like, someone was giving a Russian speaker a hard time after they said “get in car” and they were like “only you English speakers are dumb enough to feel this is essential why would I be talking about getting into any random car of course I mean our car wtf.”

anonymous: on the subject of other languages, epithets are also something that happen differently in other languages. In French repeating a word (names included, and sometimes even pronouns) is considered bad writing. As in, way more than in English. Going by how grating the English translation of the Witcher books was to me when the French one was fine, I’d say it’s the same with Polish, at least. It’s also very interesting how brains adapt to writing styles in other languages.

What are some of your favorite and least favorite grammar quirks, in English or in the language of your choice?

#national grammar day #duck prints press #writing advice #grammar #writeblr #writing pet peeves #grammar pet peeves

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daeranilen · 6 months

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I'm inviting fights I don't want to have, but I absolutely have to say: if you are out here arguing for prescriptivist, rules-oriented English education in 2023, I need you to seriously contemplate the assumptions you're bringing to the table about the nature of English and the goals of education.

Look. I get it. In undergrad, I worked in my college's writing center, and I helped a lot of students with their grammar. When I applied to my grad program in composition & rhetoric, my personal essay was about how teaching sentence diagramming to my tutees empowered them to become better editors of their own writing, and how I felt that kind of "building blocks" grammar instruction was meaningful, necessary, and missing from a lot of people's education. But then I got to grad school and I learned that grammar instruction in general and sentence diagramming in specific has been discredited for OVER A CENTURY. There are MANY studies about this! We've known that the primary function of traditional grammar instruction is to make students hate the English language for, again, OVER A CENTURY. And then we kept doing it! It's literally the one instance of every bad faith critique you've ever heard about public school curricula being objectively correct.

You know why sentence diagramming worked with my tutees at the writing center? Because I was delivering one-on-one, personalized instruction. Most things work when that's your mode of teaching. But when I was teaching classes, even small ones, it quickly became clear to me that focused grammar instruction took time away from more important lessons, and that students overvalued it - that they cared more about whether their essays were correct than whether their essays were good.

And I don't blame them. I'd had those teachers who docked points for misplaced commas and run-on sentences. I knew some of my colleagues were still teaching like that at the time. I'm sure many are still teaching that way to this day.

But that doesn't make it right.

The tricky thing about English education is that there is no objectively correct set of rules to learn or teach (and you don't even have to be a descriptivist to know that this is true - just go refresh yourself on the Oxford comma debate), but there will always be people who believe there is, and who will judge you when you don't adhere to it. Some of them will be your teachers. Many more will hold other positions of power. All of them are collectively creating the rules you are being judged against.

Are those the people you want to align yourself with? Is the system they've built the one you want to uphold, even begrudgingly? Is temporary and conditional access to power worth it?

It's fine to answer yes.

Just make sure you understand what you're saying yes to.

#dae talks #education #long post #i'm going to regret this within minutes i'm sure #and yet we post anyway #hooraaaaay

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mack-anthology-mp3 · 4 months

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Oxford comma. Yes or no?

i always forget what oxford comma even does lol i had to google it - i'd say no you don't need it but i'm unlikely to notice if it's there

#thanks for the ask!

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sasukeprime · 4 months

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(ALL CHEERING) I don't know if you guys are aware, but the Uchiha are simply responsible for one of the most epic police weapons in history.

(CHEERING CONTINUES) Everyone take a look at the wall. Travel back in time with me to 930.

(930s MUSIC PLAYING) The Uchiha puts on a production of Julius Caesar. A girl in the audience unexpectedly hands one of our brothers a lightning bolt and he explodes. And after that one fateful zap, the tenet of power is born! wherein the higher the voltage the deeper the gamage, itaboy. as in great damage.

(ALL CHEERING) The year is 971.

(970s ROCK MUSIC PLAYING) The US challenges Red Japan in archery. Meanwhile, back at the Uchiha Police Academy, our brothers play a couple rounds of darts their own. An brother's errant arrow hit the narrow mark mellow so blatant exact it almost felt flagrant of this arr'gant fellow. And he just blinks.

(WHOOPING) (ALL CHEERING) I give you the tenet of precision!

(CHEERING CONTINUES) The year is 985!

(980s POP MUSIC PLAYING) Cruthan Asia Uchiha and his brothers are at the police academy school pep rally pre-game. They've been drinking since the butt-crack of dawn. Crutan-Asia knows he has to throw up, but he wants to keep partying. What does he do? Does he puke, or does he drink? Neither. He does speed instead (?). Because why not. I give you the motherfucking tenet of speed.

(ALL CHEERING) So many core cop values So many more cop statues. did i say statues no cashews you thought that i would blast you? no statutes.

How are we supposed to stand on the shoulders of giants?

Tell 'em, Fugakgak. I'll tell you how. Do you see that empty space in between belt loops? Let's fill it with guns. We are gonna end the year with the most legendary weapon of all time. I'm talking even bigger than last year's pocket knife.

Presenting... an original concept by me that I personally came up with (by myself): a chidorigun. a gun that shoots high voltage electricity with major laser sharp precision within a given distance. with the three tenets of speed, power, and precision, and the oxford comma, I give you... the tri-laser... the TASER!

ALL: No, no, no! Stick to the stuff you know. Well if Troy can tell his secret then I can tell mine. I bake. Wait nvm what I just said. Seems like an impossible feat. But when we do it, we will get our faces on that wall, amidst the rest of these legends!

(ALL CHEERING) Yes!

Itachi, my only son I care about, do you want to tell us about your first summer as a full fledged adult when you were 42 months old?

My parents got divorced.

And where did you go?

Right here.

And what happened?

I cried.

Why did you cry?

Because I felt safe. Because I was surrounded by my brothers. Brothers have a bond that goes beyond friendship. We are the family you get to choose, and we don't get divorced!

#acquisition

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avocado-writing · 8 months

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HEY AVOOOOOOOOO guess ,, guess what time it is ,,,,,,,,, ITS ASK GAME TIME !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! oki this is gonna b a lot n rapid fire so get ready

10, 7, 31, 41, 44, 51, AND how do u feel abt the oxford comma ,,,,,,,,, and also maybe share a bit abt mr avo w the class ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, [u dont gotta, if u or he doesnt want that then ur good !!!!!!] - fruit fic anon ^_^

AAAAA ok

10. are you good at hiding your feelings?

absolutely not. I am an open book. If there is something wrong you’ll know it. Which is good! It’s good to talk about your feelings!!

7. what was your life like last year?

up and down tbh. I did some things that were a lot of fun, and some shit happened in my personal and professional life that sucked. But it was better than 2021 lol.

31. 3 random facts

Im answering these before I go to work. It’s 6:10am

im currently watching/listening to dimension20’s The Seven

Im sending a parcel to my friend M today (yes I know you read everything I post and I love you)

41. relationship status

happily taken!

44. age you get mistaken for

Usually a lot younger. I get ID’d all the time for booze (not that I buy it much). I have a baby face unfortunately.

51. starsign

Aries ♈️ 🐏

the Oxford comma is my lawfully wedded wife

And I asked mr avo what he’s be comfortable with me sharing and he said, “say, in all caps: YOU DONT KNOW HIM HE DOESNT GO TO THIS SCHOOL HE’S A FRIEND OF MY COUSIN HE BELIEVES IN THE HEART OF THE CARDS” and then just started listing anime stuff. more broadly, we’ve been together for over 9 years, he’s one of my best mates and he makes me laugh a lot. I love him very very much. 🩷

MWAH thank you for asking! Hope you’re doing well, anon!

Ask game

#answered #ask game #Fruit anon

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scholarlypidgeot · 1 year

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This is going to sound horrible but.. is God.. is God really any better than that Oxford comma degenerate.. There are parts of the Bible where He says “because you have sinned, I will cause horrors to fall upon you” including death and sexual violence (Deuteronomy 28, Isaiah 13). Now on one hand we can say “God can kill people and punish cultures for their sin by allowing bad things to happen to them, He’s God”, but.. is that mental gymnastics? This is a genuine question. This is not a “gotcha” or a “troll”. I have legitimately been discerning conversion for many years I just.. become troubled.. sometimes..

God bless

Okay so. I don't think the Bible ever condones sexual violence. Not in the places you describe nor anywhere else. In fact if anything he punishes sexual sin above many others -- including rape, as seen in the story of Lot and that one husband from Benjamin who had to give up his wife to save the rest of his family.

So the lines from Deuteronomy you're describing - I think 28: 15 to the end of the chapter? Aside from the curse of getting cuckolded in verse 30 I'm not seeing anything sexual at all in the Douay-Rheims version that I use. The same version also explains this curse:

[15] "All these curses": Thus God dealt with the transgressors of his law in the Old Testament: but now he often suffers sinners to prosper in this world, rewarding them for some little good they have done, and reserving their punishment for the other world.

We see in the book of Hosea that he wishes to forgive sinners and despite Israel's disloyalty, wishes to see her return to him rather than destroyed. She is destroyed, as we see in the Babylonian Captivity, when she fails to place her trust in Him.

Now I do see your point in Isaiah 13:16 especially, but given what I know about Babylon at the time (and especially at the time Isaiah was foreseeing) this seems to be a cry for vengeance against wrongs already done against Israel. This is the list of crimes committed against Jerusalem turned back against her aggressor. This reversal and vengeance against those who sin against Israel is a common theme in prophesy, and while it's described as something the Lord would bring down it's more of something the Lord permitted, as Babylon herself was sacked in the late B.C. era. This is a curse, yes, but it's also a vision of things that would come which were not brought about at the hand of the Israelites.

I think I rambled there at the end and I apologize for that. I am not personally a biblical theologian but I have studied some biblical theology, so I'm open to other sources that might indicate otherwise and polite debate. Anyway I hope I made my point clear, at least. God bless and thank you for the ask!

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olivia-anderson-fanfic · 1 year

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4. What’s a word that makes you go absolutely feral?

31. Write a short love letter to your readers.

34. Thoughts on the Oxford comma, Go:

4. Lambasted. It's such a vibe. You hear it and you go hell yea that word means heavily criticized. It just feels so violent. Also it's fun to say, and since it sounds like that it's a lot of fun to be overdramatic with it.

31. I absolutely adore you guys. Sometimes I write down really nice comments and stick them in a jar I have, and when I feel down I pull one out and read it. It really helps with my mood. You guys have no idea how much I cherish each and every one of you. <3

34. Absolute necessity. Haven't you ever seen those examples of how terribly things can go without them? Simple example: I can say I have experiences with the Pope, a man and a woman. Yes, the correct way of saying that is that I have experiences with three different people, but it could also be read that the Pope is both a man and a woman. Which is probably blasphemy or something.

Also, I'm an author. I like commas.

#the beloved <3 #i should have a tag for u guys #also #ask game #ollieanswers

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aparticularbandit · 1 year

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For the writing ask, 1, 10, and 34 please? Pretty please 🙃

SO I DID THIS WITH THE WRONG MEME THE FIRST TIME SO FIXING IT AND ALL THE WRONG MEME QUESTIONS AND ETC. ARE BENEATH THE CUT SORRY FRIEND.

weird questions for writers

1) What font do you write in? Do you actually care or is that just the default setting?

i write in calibri light size 9. i actually care, this is not the default, i just like the way it looks. XD

10) Has a piece of writing ever “haunted” you? Has your own writing haunted you? What does that mean to you?

when i was in college, one of my favorite professors gave us a bunch of poetry that were basically about the limits of language, about how it can’t really do what we want it to do, and one of them that sticks with me is the problem of describing trees, and i find myself frequently quoting that last line - aspens doing something in the wind - whenever i can’t think of the proper words. (in the same way, after reading rosencrantz and guildenstern are dead, i find myself frequently - consistency is all we ask; give us this day our daily mask.) but i’m not sure i’d call either of those haunting? there’s a fic, too, that i only kind of sort of read the first chapter of, where reader is a wandanat daughter but agatha had kidnapped her a long time ago and it deals significantly with csa (which is...part of why i didn’t read very much of it), but there’s a line where reader says “she called me agnes” - about agatha - and that line just. it was such a line. i think. - in my own writing, this is the gift and the gift that i give is myself. and even earlier than that, i have decided that you are worthy of me. this is the gift.... those lines stick with me. for...completely unrelated reasons, actually. XD and i think there are...moments, yes, from things - when wanda finally goes back for agatha in finding family and agnes sees her and curls into her weeping and wanda says she’s come to bring her home. idk that i’d use haunted for those, though? it’s kind of like - they’re not happy scenes or lines or anything like that, but ones that leave a sort of...of oh, and not necessarily in a good way. when something causes a paradigm shift and not in a good way, in a tragic sort of way. like - the haunting of hill house and the haunting of bly manor are masterclasses in the meaning of that word, in having a story be haunting - they have scary moments and they’re horror, i guess, but they’re mostly just haunting. i think maybe the closest my writing has done that for me is stuff from jessica rabbit’s timeline canon. particularly just the...the inevitable tragedy of so much of it. bits and pieces of her relationship with scully, near the end. the kiss when she gave her the first edition of moby dick and the five times kissed where she left. the going back and dropping companion bunny off before defaulting. and then after with regina, the constant struggle of wanting to be with her and also all of her suicidal tendencies, like it did not matter that she loved regina or that regina loved her she still wanted to be dead and she thought she was making henry hallucinate like she was and just so much of jess’s timeline canon was just so painful and inevitable and haunting. because it just. it hurt. it all hurt. it still hurts. yeah. yeah.

34) Thoughts on the Oxford comma, Go:

it is important and necessary because there are too many times where i have stumbled trying to understand what is being written because it isn’t there. grammar - like the oxford comma - is meant to help me understand what you the writer are saying. if i can’t understand what you are saying because you refuse to use the oxford comma, then you are wrong. write in such a way that it is clear to your reader what you mean and don’t get in your own fucking way. use the oxford comma.

ask game for fanfic writers

1) do you know how you want the story to end when you start, or are you just stumbling through the figurative wilderness hoping to find a road?

It depends on the story! Finding Family I knew the general ending when I started (it expanded as the story expanded in terms of who was there, but the ending still remained roughly intact). A lot of my one-shots turned series I stumble through as I go (Agave Stuff was like this, although I now know the rough ending of it (and the start of the follow-up story although not the ending of it), as is the Roisa Soulmate Timer AU). I think more often than not I don't know the ending, but I tend to know general lamp posts. It's always a fun time when I do figure out the ending because then it's just I want to write to get to this point, I want y'all to see where it's going, which is a different feeling than me trying to figure out where it's going. XD

10) at what point in the process do you come up with titles, and how easy or hard is that for you?

i hate coming up with titles, coming up with titles is the worst part of the whole process, and thus it is usually the last thing i do. with a few notable exceptions which is more i spent too much time brainstorming this before writing it and thus came up with an actually okay title (series are like this, too, usually). but like. this is why titles suck. ...except for when i got bored and started doing random bs titles for agave stuff, which is probably why they're some of my favorites. XD

34) how do you name characters and places?

fortunately i do not have to title characters very often in fanfic, but most of the time when i do, i use behindthname.com and play around with different name meanings that i think are appropriate. (this is how i came up with cian masters for the ancient one - cian is apparently irish for ancient - which fit with the ancient one in the mcu apparently coming from a more celtic tradition (and also tilda swinton being a natural redhead, but that wasn't part of that process) - and then masters was playing around with masters of the mystic arts - if cian didn't have a surname originally given i have them being a foundling when i play with more canonical ancient one etc., then they would take masters once the world changed enough that they might need one.) but also, like, sometimes it's about what names sound good with other names (claire's mother being rowena because i tend to write her and agatha as cousins where her mother is evanora's sister and rowena needed to match evanora) or what names just...come up (cian's adopted father is roland (he's their actual dad in agave stuff, not adopted) and that's just...a name that fit). most of the time with places, like with names, i try with references: agatha's restaurant in agave stuff is the scratching post of salem, which references both 1) senor scratchy, 2) post for witch trials, and 3) salem, ma - but sometimes it's just a name that sounds good.

#thelittlewolfofaretuza #musings #bandit answers questions #on writing #fanfic #meme response #thank you so much for asking!#and i'm sorry i took so long to answer!!

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