27 ASK :)))))🍤🍤🍤

I do not.. but man I really need to give them names. I intend to name my FNAF au before drawing Moon Malfunction 2.0. And my Deltarune AU... ehhh.. idk, I'll just see if anything comes to me <XD (I'm open to suggestions! :0 )

@eggswastaken

Thank you! But sorry, no fanart rule. I wouldn't like for anyone to draw my AUs Asgore.. Thank you for asking first though <:) A lot of people would have just drawn it and not have cared to ask.

:DD Thank you so much!! :}}}

@luna-purple454

AAA THANK YOU FELLOW ASGORE ENJOYER! XDD

As for his backstory I don't really have any new ideas.. but as for the future?

I have ideas of Asgore seeing other versions of people he used to know. And it really hurts him. Like maybe they pass by and AU where he sees a Toriel. And his heart just aches. Or he sees a Gerson or Gaster, and he just longs for those people. He misses them and it kills him that he cant ever go back home.

Imagine if he met a Toriel that hated Asgore, post murdering kids. And she understands that he's a different Asgore but she cant help but be cold towards him. That might hurt worse than just missing his family. Someone with his wife's face being indirectly disappointed in him. Ashamed of him, angry at him. He never did those things that her Asgore did. But she still glares at him out of habit. And that kills him more than anything. And don't even get me started when he hears about the horrible fates this AUs Asriel and Chara suffered.

I can imagine that like Grillby, his body becomes more unstable the more emotional he is. Maybe they walk through an AU where Asgore meets that Toriel. And by the time they're ready to leave Asgore is wrecked. Seeing all these people broke his spirit. His body has significantly dissolved and he can no longer walk. All he does is hang his head low and weep. Saying he cant move.. and he wants to go home..

Jevil might be able to take the whole group to another AU, despite Asgore's state. But likely they'd just camp out for an extra day or so until Asgore can pull himself back together..

Aw, I'm sorry you're sick, that's no fun. <:( But I'm glad my artwork is helping you feel a bit better :}}}

@cudlycorncornsworthcoberson

Positively giddy my dear fellow

@elegysonnet

I haven't seen it yet, but it looks good and I plan to watch it! :0

@pinkbomb08

:D Thank you! Even if you have nothing to ask, I don't mind a nice message! :}}

@veeneeyyyy

Thank you! And hey man. Being down on yourself about your artwork is just gonna make you feel worse and slowly chip away at your confidence. Trust me, I've been there.

Try your best to always say something positive about the art that you make. No matter how much you think/believe that its bad. And never follow it up with anything bad either, "the face came out nice... but this hand looks terrible-" No. None of that. Actively force yourself to never say anything negative about your art out loud and always search for things that you like in the piece. If you seriously cant find a single thing to be positive about, then say "well I did my best. And I improved a little at art because I drew this."

Trust me man. From personal experience it will do wonders for your self confidence. Eventually that confidence will become second nature. Fake it till you make it.💪

@nutty-candy-lover

WAAA THANK YOUUUUU HHHGHFIIUSDAFI💖💖💖😭😭

REALLY THANK YOU SO MUCH!! I take so much pride in my expressions and angst! I've never really been the best at expressing my stories through dialogue. So I express it through body language instead!

A big chunk of the drawing time is the sketching and the line art. Trying my best to get specific expressions and poses. Like in this post! Most of the line art time was spent making sure that Grillby and Asgore eyes were juuuust right. And that Asgore's hug didn't look too tight or like Grillby couldn't pull away if he needed to. More like he was holding/supporting Grillby with 1 arm, and resting his hand on his back with the other.

I always have this thought process while drawing of "his pose looks a bit stiff, his shoulders aren't drooped down enough. He's grieving, so he needs to look heavier. His eyebrows should be furrowed a bit tighter. No now he looks angry, less furrow, more tears. His tears look too fresh. He needs to look like he's cried a lot recently. Okay thinner tears and marks around the eyes-" things like that.

I enjoy drawing these physical expressions so much and I really try to make them look good. So to hear that you see that effort I put in and you really like it?? wwAAA AWOOOOGOROOG😭😭💖🍤💓💖💘THANK YOU WAAAAAA

@cupcake-kingdom

Sort of..? I think they would have a decent relationship. I imagined him being a cold father but sometimes shows that he cares in his own special way.

Like for example. A comic that I never got around to drawing started with Bowser having a nightmare about Mario. When he wakes up, he proceeds to roam from room to room around his castle. Checking on all of his kids 1 by 1. He could stop by and maybe close their open windows, tuck them back in if their blankets were kicked off. A stuffed animal fell off the bed so he puts it back.

I think I planned for him to make it to JRs room. And instead of just checking and leaving, he goes and scoops JR up and take him back to his room. He also checks on Kamek and the Commander. before going back to bed with JR.

That might be a good way to explain it. He like- he loves his kids, he does. But he's just super weird about showing it and can only be truly tender towards them when something like that nightmare happens.

I don't believe so no. :/

I'm not sure, I haven't seen the Amazing Digital Circus yet <XD

@growing-past-me

Woah woah woah- slow down for a sec, Jevil and Seam are strictly friends through and through.😅 I personally don't support/enjoy ships of any kind. Its just really not my taste. :/

But yes! Which ever story I end up going with, Jevil and Seam escape their AU together and rekindle their friendship. :}

Yes! It is! :DD

Its also a double whammy though because its also meant to parallel Foxy having his mouth tied shut and his hook being removed. 👀👀

I haven't really thought about it too much..

Perhaps they'd feel betrayed? Because Freddy, Foxy and Bonnie all lied to them to keep Gregory a secret? Maybe there would be fighting because Chica and the others think they should call security but Freddy insists that they dont?

Maybe they would think that Freddy is malfunctioning because of how hard he pushing against their protocol? Maybe they'd call security on Freddy because of how he's acting..? Who knows <XD

As for how they acted the night Gregory was there.. man.. they wouldn't know what to say. Some might not even believe it happened, some would be ashamed.. it would be a hard pill to swallow for sure :(

@random-entity-363

XDD he really does use the power of tape to fix things doesn't he? I think he was also just a bit lucky that a lot of the damage on Bonnies body could just be poorly taped back into place.

I supposes that Staff bots could be used to aid Foxy is certain shows of his. But ultimately he is meant to be a 1 man band while preforming in Pirates cove <:/

"Bonnie you have no business being this larg" XDD

I've seen that all over Tumblr in the past few days. I really gotta get around to watching it <XD

@beryl-shade

I suppose its always possible. Although with how I've structured my Vanessa and the "bug", I don't think anyone/anything would make Bonnie do that..

XDD Yeah I can see them freaking out. As would anyone!

Well Bonnie didn't become this way over night. It was a slow process over the span of ten years. Years of constantly being overwhelmed with his performances, interacting with large crowds that he's not designed to process, his friends not giving him space when he really needed it.. He just slowly crumbled more and more until now he's just this cold, angry and rude individual.

However,, when it comes to Vanessa he's not that bad.

Bonnie is designed for interacting with groups of no more then 10 people at a time. He's even better at 1-1 interactions. And that's what Vanessa is. Just 1 person to process. Just 1 child.

And unlike most other kids that Bonnie deals with, she is very shy and quiet. She almost talks less then Bonnie does. That could be why Bonnie was Vanessa's favorite character. She preferred characters who weren't as loud as Monty or as active as Foxy. A slow moving, mellow animatronic is what she was drawn to.

I've imagined them interacting. Bonnie would ask her a question and she would just nod. If she were scared/sad she might not rush to Bonnie for a hug. Rather just sheepishly sit next to him and hold his hand.

What I'm trying to say is, she matches Bonnie's energy pretty well. Bonnie is not scary to her and Vanessa isn't overwhelming for Bonnie. I imagined them camping out in Bonnies room. The darkness makes Vanessa feel hidden, so she actually prefers it. She's shy so she doesn't really say much to Bonnie.. But she feels safe with him.

Maybe she squeaks out a little; "..thank you for helping me.." Bonnie could then turn his head a little and nod. Vanessa could smile and then curl up next to Bonnie. Eventually falling asleep.

They could work, and maybe their bond isn't the same as Freddy and Gregory's, but that doesn't mean it's lesser. Or that they're not as close. I think they're just right for each other. An overwhelmed animatronic mixed with a really quiet kid is a good mix I'd say :0

(Post in question)

I don't have an answer for either <XD

He was just reading "a book" and Kwazii was about to do "a dumb thing"-

@ocinstituterep

I haven't really given their exact ages much thought. Though I kind'a have an age range..? I feel like Barnacles is 40-50 years old. Maybe closer to 40.? Inkling is like in his 60-70s.

Dashi, Shellington, Kwazii, Tweak and Peso are all just bunched together between 20 and 40 years old. But Peso could be the youngest of the 5 and Kwazii the oldest maybe..?

The Vegimals are all under 10 I think.

I have not drawn that before no :/

Also that fact list was fun! XDD

Book 7 JP spoilers (recent-est i think)

(recently found out how to do keep reading bits.)

i. have been told what happened

you know this groovy with him crying

i know context now

and

oh my god

my. heart. ughUISHfdi rOOOOK.

(m gonna be honest rook was never my favorite and i honestly didnt know how to feel about him. [to be fair i hated sebek at one point but now im like a huge sebek fan so.] but i think when this gets onto EN and i play through it im just gonna be a huge rook fan man.)

like

okay

so i know what happens in the story

(also i love this so much this is now in my mind, rook's actual room pre-nrc [except vil's not in an RSA uniform LMFAO. actually if it was PRE-NRC i dont think either of them would have enrolled at a school yet, unless neige is older than vil, or unless RSA doesnt do the same enrollment ages or whatever like NRC)

ACTUALLY SCRATCH THAT NEIGE IS IN HIS 2ND YEAR???

??????? people notice so much oh my god..

wait....

actually do you think neige joined a school because he saw vil join one?? cause. i think he really idolizes vil. (actually kind of makes me think of cheka idolizing leona)

huh. random thought.

i mean i only know a summary of it (im fine with spoilers ngl and i dont care even if you shove like a fully translated post of the entire chapters and stuff.. i just like seeing story that i dont mind rereading)

but like man. its gonna break me when we're there for that moment. (in EN)

i

dont want to say anything in case there's an EN person here. and i mean if they're spoiling themselves all the more power to them but i also feel like its one of those things that are a LOT more impactful when you encounter it for the first time so im just. not gonna try to learn more about it and wait. (although its like. JP is in Part 8 i think, we're in Part 4??? that seems so far away sob. but also we gotta finish lilia's dream first so...)

im just. sadge. (also idk what vil's dream is but i think we end up seeing it. unless it was actually a render of him from rook's dream, which i wouldnt think is too far off. but also--)

THIS IS APPARENTLY CANON?

I SAW IT AND I THOUGHT IT WAS A JOKE BUT THEN I RAN INTO IT AGAIN??? and its like. LISTEN. he looks so goofy i cant... epel. i love you. but oh my god (i cant take you seriously im SORRY im DEAD)

also he's still in pomefiore which is cool (he accepted his cuteness! although i dont know how much of a weapon his cuteness would have now..?. you think he snaps out of it cause ppl might laugh at him [and then he beats them up] but he still gets irritated cause what the heck im not cute anymore--- [..wait. i was never cute. what am i on about.] ...i keep overusing the word cute and i know he wouldnt use it himself but i have a very small vocabulary.)

im just.

i dont know how to feel about this ??? (it feels more cursed than hatless rook. i can at least pretend he isnt hatless. but like. epel..)

also vil in rsa /neg /hj (the rsa uniform looks so bland and i like him in darker colors)

okay im gonna be honest i have a dislike against RSA. and thats honestly because im petty and hold grudges.

also i like my villain boys and i just want them to win (..yknow. i really dont think GloMas counts when the RSA boys were actually nice enough to like. ..take hits for them??? and then we were planning on leaving them like LMFAO 'not my problem')

so yeah.

actually wait if rooks dream takes place in VDC how the fuck

WHO IS NRC TRIBE????

CAUSE VIL'S IN RSA WITH NEIGE?? HELLO??? WHAT.

WE'RE NOT WINNING WHAT THE HELL

(unless our role in the dream is to drop a jawdropping performance [idfk do we have diasomnia boys minus lilia(? i honestly dont know how lilia's dream ends and if he joins us) and malleus???)

but listen. if vils the best. and neige is the best.

we're so. not winning..? (i was going to ask if it was gonna be like rook this time voting for NRC and thats how we win. but like. HELL no are we gonna have it be split 50/50 again like that)

anyway i am still very excited and so pumped and oh my god fhsuihe

i find it so funny that at the start of the post i was so crushed like 'oh my god...' cause angst and then here i am doing a complete 180

EDIT: hold on. i didnt think to think about it but now that we know what his room looks like

thats his bed. you can see the neige part. and that thing he's holding onto is like the movie poster (or i assume its a movie poster) with vil and neige

ngl i saw some people linking it up to like the hunter crying on snow white's dress

which. i never saw this movie so like (i dont even want to know what happened but also these movies are OLD. also in like sleeping beauty?? i saw the animated of once upon a dream or something like that and mans just comes up to her out of nowhere. no warning and holds her and sings and im just like brUH if you did that id fucking hit you like WHAT???)

also i just noticed his muscles goddamn.

why mcyttwt does not think some (if not most) of the time when it comes to mcc

if i post this in twitter, i’d surely get hated upon but someones gotta have to say this one day. also this does not target to mcytblr!!! this rant is more of towards mcyttwt!!!

remember how mcyt was so chill before all of this shit? how we would watch our favorite minecraters when the community was so small? or how mcc was an event that both ccs and fans can have some fun and entertainment once per month? and that was only last year too. now look at the new generation of mcyt fans and see why some of the old fans dont really associate the new ones.

as a fan of the old gen mcytbers like DanTDM, SkyDoesMinecraft, Aphmau and CaptainSparklez. heck im a fan of pewds’ minecraft series before dream or tommy or ranboo or the new gen of mcyt ccs blew up (a year before them if im correct), and we dont see drama or bad shit all the time when it comes to their content.

now compare that to the new gen where every single fucking day, a bored fan or anti would post shit drama in twitter where some of the people from twitter moved to tumblr just to not get a headache from the batshit craziness mcyttwt brought forth. and it just snapped more when the mccp21 rolled in.

heres some of my takes about the mccp21 issue:

1) “there’s a lack of representation of lgbtq+ in the teams!!!”

heres something to tell yall about that. scott doesnt have a fucking choice. scott smajor has told time and time again, WEEKS before the announcement of teams, that there are certain requirements and limitations to mccp21 thus there will be difficulty in choosing whos entering or whos not. limitations and requirements such as it will be streamed on youtube or how streamers with twitch contracts aren’t allowed to stream or (god bless scott’s good heart) scott not allowing some of the lgbtq+ streamers in joining the special event due to wanting them to have a chance to stream and experience their first mcc (so to those who said that ranboo should have been in mccp21, shut up ‘cuz scott wanted genderman to have fun streaming his first mcc but cant due to ranboo being a well-known twitch streamer). to those who complained that ant and velvet should be in the mcc, stop being selfish and do some actual research on why scott didn’t include them. a simple question to those two’s fans would answer that they can’t make it due to them camping for a week which within those days is the mccp21. they’re having time to themselves, not wasting it on a minecraft championship. 

take in the consideration that, oh i dont know, not a lot of lgbtq+ ccs applied to the event? its not a free invite championship (in fact, mcc has always been like that), it’s an applied with the sufficient and correct requirements kind of event. the artist who created the icons from the previous mcc for the teams said that scott let in some of the new ccs in last minutes due to lack of applicants not meeting the requirements thus not having custom artworks for the teams if they want to announce the teams in time.

2.) “there’s no lesbians or trans in the teams >:(((”

sadly enough, there’s not much of the players from the lgbtq+ community but to say there’s no trans people in mccp21 is utterly false. by definition, trans mean  denoting or relating to a person whose sense of personal identity and gender does not correspond with their birth sex. other genders such as non-binary, genderfluid, androgyne, bigender, gender expansive all fall under trans. you define yourself with the gender you personally chose and comfy with from you birth gender. so saying there’s no trans in the teams when there are players from the event like eret or sqaishey who are nb and genderfluid respectively are there to also represent not only the sexuality but also the gender identity of others??? like c’mon, please make sense mcyttwt. 

also, while its sad to not see lesbians, please know that lgbtq+ doesn’t strictly be defined by lesbians. ffs, lgbtq+ literally means Lesbians Gays Bisexuals Transgenders and Questioning (or Queer but im not too sure about that one) which means that there are still other representatives for the community in the event.

3) “technoblade is in the event?!!! WHAT THE FUCK, HES A HOMOPHOBE/LESBIPHOBE-”

utter clowns, toxic twitter users are. do you really think that scott smajor, an openly gay man, would let a supposed “homophobe/lesbiphobe” in an event that focuses in supporting the lgbtq+ community? do you hear yourself? do you even do research where the joke he made was when he was the same age as me and it was based on a historical article back in WW2? or how he passionately supports the community especially the lesbians because a lesbian couple complimented him to which kickstart his confidence? the man willingly went to this mcc event despite being flamed a lot in twitter because he (and everyone) knows that his chat, his fans and supporters, are literal millionaires. if you saw a stream from foolish where he auctioned canonical characters for funs, a techno fan donated thousand of dollars to get technoblade, and that’s only one fan, now imagine a hundreds of thousands of them.

like it or not, technoblade has always been open about his support to the community, especially that majority of his fanbase are from the same community that mcyttwt allegedly swore that technoblade hates.

4) “since this mccp21 is pointless because theres no dteam, quackity, punz or (insert cc name), let’s have a watch party of the previous mccs to spite mccp21!!!” “let’s hope (insert cc name) stream on the 26th so mccp21 doesnt have the same amount of viewership like before!!!” “where are (insert cc name)??? gosh, this mcc is so boring without them!!!”

shut up shut up shut up shut up shut the actual fuck up. are you really seriously hearing yourself? are you willing and proudly boycotting a once in a year special event that is seriously needed by the lgbtq+ community? are you that cruel and selfish to sacrifice a project that helped tons of people just for your sick entertainment and desires? are you that evil to stop others from enjoying and donating to the trevor project? are you that inconsiderate of other ccs that aren’t part of dsmp and calling them boring? and for what? because your favorite cishet streamer isn’t there? oh booofuckinghoo! you’re so fucking petty to even post about this kind of tweets in public.

(edit: did yall honestly thought that without your favorite streamers that the mcc is not worth watching because they aren't there? well let me tell you, im a ranboo fan. ive watched him when he first entered the dsmp and watched him spinning in his unicorn chair for 5 minutes. the boo community waited for so many months for genderman to join mcc yet we didn't even do that kind of disgusting action and behavior every time he isn't in mcc. 8 months. that's how long ive watched him. ive waited 8 months for him to be in the event yet i still watch other povs like tommy's, puffy's, wilbur's, and etc., because it's fun and entertaining to watch them despite the beloved not participating in the games.

if you're that spoiled to not even watch mcc because (insert cc whose not part of mccp21 name here) isn't part of the roster then you most likely have a one dimensional humor because there will always be someone more funny and entertaining than them. i like dsmp don't get me wrong, but i found parrot's school smp funnier than dsmp yet you don't see me insulting both series, do you? learn to keep yourself if you're calling ccs as boring or dull or not entertaining enough due to not having the same big platform as the dsmp members.)

you don’t deserve to call yourself a fan if you’re doing this kinds of actions. in fact, people like you should be kicked out from the mcyt community because your kind of people are the reason why we look so bad from the outside. your toxic and self-entitled to these content creators are the reason why famous ccs like sbi, purpled, tubbo and almost ranboo left twitter/implied strict rules to their subtwts. you drove out an entire friend group that tons of fans found comfort in from the platform and you still have the audacity to this kind of shit? honestly, just leave before you give me a headache.

what im sayin’ is that mcyttwt is one of the worst, if not THE worst, subtwts out of the other subtwts in twitter. having no actual research or evidences or spreading false information is common in twitter where you would have to take what they said with a micro size grain of salt. mcyttwt already ruined the fun and spirit of mcc during its comeback in mcc14 due to the glitch and beta testing shit (ey i still stand for the ranboo beta testing but i know that will be worthless since theres hints of him joining soon in mcc15). if you’re still in mcyttwt, i suggest to get out of there while you still can. we’ll never know if there’s a bigger shitstorm than this in the mcyttwt that may happen in the future.

edit! hi bella again, ive been told by a polite and cool user that not all people from mcyttwt are toxic and/or cruel. im going to clear something up here. ive written this during the heat of the announcement of mccp21 teams. so there's a lot of complains and/or entitled people in the app (you can even see it in my previous post too if you want evidences!) that gave off mostly negative vibes towards the event.

ive seen the cool ones who actually took the consideration for scott's side and the criticism of the lack of representation of other communities within the lgbtq+ umbrella (ive even share some parts of it above so im also a bit upset to the lack of numbers in the community). and some of them are correct about recruiting lgbtq+ creators in youtube but! like i said, it's an applied event and not invitational one, so its up to that content creator if they want to join or not. the amount of cishet in the roster are just those who want to support the cause and/or backups/stand-ins in case scott and noxcrew can't find enough ccs in time!

just wanna clear this up because mcyttwt these days are covered by really cringe fans (ive noticed a pattern of them mostly new ones but there are still awesome new fans (like my irl friend who just joined this year) within the community) that covered the good ones where they enjoy, have fun and share some neat ideas and thoughts to the community within the platform!

when i said to get out of the mcyttwt while you still can, i meant to get out of there to avoid drama (that is really small contrast those who really need to address the issue) and take a break from it. it's still your choice if you want to be surround by it or not or if you want to come back to the app. all im saying is to buckle up for the shitstorm cuz this is not the last time that the twitter side of mcyt will cause negativity to the community.

10 Anti LO Asks

1. I find it funny that america's court of justice looks more greek that LO's court that literally takes place in greece

2. ya know if rachel cant stand seeing critiques and even admits social media is ruining her mental health the like ... idk ... get a social media manager? im sure a webtoons intern would be happy to take over her accounts and only post when LO updates and retweet fanart. a lot of webtoon creators dont have social media accounts either, so it's not unheard of her to be anonymous outside of her work, she seriously needs to get offline if its this negative of an experience for her IMHO.

3. the animated series excuse is bullshit. Other webtoons have also been picked up for tv while being produced, but they actually WRAPPED UP before their shows started, because they got the fire under their butts to make sure the story was complete so the tv writers knew what to do with them. LO getting picked up and dragging it out actually makes it harder for it to be adapted, not the other way around, especially when RS writes the week of. LO fans, please, you can call her out for this, it's ok.

(Same tv anon) also there are a lot of webtoons that were super popular and still ended when they wanted bc the writers said so, even though WT themselves would love to keep them going as long as possible. other WT creators are also very open to the fact they have a lot of creative freedom with no pushback, so the excuse WT is "forcing" Rachel to drag out LO is false. The reason LO is getting worse is on her, not webtoons, not henson, but rachel herself. sorry to be harsh it but its true.

4. Idk if this has been said, BUT the night P goes over to the shades and hades saves her, they kiss, and then the next day P asks Minthe for help with the computer and of course Minthe is gonna bring up Hades and give her a crash course on what’s it like dating hades and P is like “I honestly have no clue what you’re talking about” GIRL WHAT! You turned into butterflies, you’ve talked about being horny, YOU KISSED. P is hardly a character 

5. i feel like theres a big difference between a webtoonist being defensive over their characters who get hated for awful reasons (misogyny, racism, homophobia, etc) versus rachel being like "ugh! why are you guys not letting persephone and hades get away with literal murder, slavery, corruption, nepotism, and classism, etcetera, etcetera?" like we know she's a privileged cishet white lady, but she's in a fantasy land if she seriously think theres nothing to critique her version of hxp for. like???

6. honestly thats the thing that annoys me so much. yes the greek gods arent as widely worshipped (and no, i dont expect a kiwi to be worshipping them either) but greece still exist, the greek people still exist, and their culture still exists, which includes still having a cultural reverence to the gods. the fact rachel and her fans claim ownership over it while speaking over actual greeks and while butchering it so much for their own capitalist, western ideals is just insulting, not "empowering".

7. I think good character growth for P for how the story was going would have been her acting more like herself (the bad parts where she’s frustrated and angry) but isn’t rewarded. The closest we got to this was when she had rumors spreading around her at school and no one wanted to be her friend even if she did try to defend herself. When she got mad at hades for stealing someone’s eye, she was prioritized even tho it was an important day for Underworld Corp. she sees no repercussion what she did to Leto (I know it was suppose to be funny but it makes Leto less of a serious antagonist that she was built to be). Like all I really take from her character is “why didn’t I go apeshit earlier I have no consequences expect that one time I murdered a bunch of village people but even then I wasn’t truly vengeful.” Even with the trial drama going in Hades is preventing any repercussions. Like everything “bad” that happens to Persphone, it’s “not her fault”

8. Hades: why didn’t you tell me my gf/ex sent you to tower 4

Persphone: I didn’t want to get her in trouble (aka I wanted to have someone I could black mail instead of just asking Hectate for help or ask for proper training can’t ruin my perfect girl image)

9. Like many readers and critics have pointed out, Lore Olympus (and admittedly a lot of cartoons and comics nowadays) is most certainly written with a fanfiction-like mindset: with twists and turns that complicate the story for no other reason than the author thinking that it looks “cool”. This has resulted in a ramping up of epicness within the general story. Stakes get higher, the antagonists become more and more threatening, and then suddenly a tale of ancient Greek deities that started out as a casual soap opera is now being mashed together with long-standing prophecies and major political conflicts. It’s not enough for Lore Olympus to just talk about issues like abuse, gaslighting, sexual assault, self-hatred, and healing from traumatic experiences. We’ve got to do it in the most epic way possible! Stuff like this is the only reason why LO goes to the weird extremes that it does, with more and more crap getting piled on as a misguided attempt to be more “exciting”. The decision to add the coming of Kronos, Apollo’s theorized usurping of Zeus’ throne, and Persephone’s legendary fertility goddess powers to the slice-of-life environment came entirely from a desire to be super epic because that’s the only way RS knows how to create tension. It often seems like a lot of creators and viewers are unaware that personal stories with low stakes can be just as, if not more, enriching and this sentiment is usually shared between fans and is why most others seem to enjoy the earlier chapters of the webcomic far more than the current episodes. The comic’s former relatability that dealt with interpersonal relationships and conflicts is now having to share a runtime with massive wars, violence, death, and booming action because RS really wants people to take LO seriously and this is the only way she knows how to do it. 

-----FP Spoilers/Mention-----

10. FP talk: what i also dont get is why would the jury and crowd suddenly be on hades and persephone's side? like i thought the whole story kepy saying how despised hades is and how persephone is some unknown that only has bad stories around her. why would they all of a sudden now want to defend them off of nothing? rachel both wants them to be the underdogs but also cant deal with them not getting everything they want, so she immediately undercuts any stakes. i really dont get that logic at all.

Hi bummie🤗

The post about vsm225 has really rubbed me the wrong way and I have a few things to say.

First, I have a message for the person who submitted the ask to you: if you are going to bash somebody like that behind the safety and comfort of your keyboard, the least you can do is NOT post it anonymously. Show us your name and your face. How do you expect to be taken seriously for tarnishing someone's name anonymously?

I myself have been her long time follower on instagram. Does that make me and another 1300 people stupid? Shallow? Retarded?

However, the fact that i have been her follower will not make me biased to what i have to say.

Now, on a serious note, I like what she posts on her instagram, also i like what meimei (the girl who is looking after her account at the moment and posting stuff for vsm while she is struggling with covid) has been posting for the past month as well. Well, im lying. I dont like it, i LOVE IT. I love the vibe of posts, i love how spicy and sassy they are, and that is one of the instagram profiles i have the most interaction with. Because we are all there to have a good time, NOT to state facts. Vine is a very respectful person, she never throws hate or shade towards anyone, she never forces anyone to believe in anything she posts, and she never pushes her content in the as-a-matter-of-fact manner. Yes, there are sometimes hardcore bad translations from weibo, but i never take that stuff too deep, im able to get the point of what was behind it. Also, if she posts anything misleading for whatever reason, the moment she realises that she will own up to it and apologise.

Everything else is not meant to be taken seriously, but as fun and good time. Only things regarding zz and jy work and what THEY allow US to see regarding their private life can be called FACTS, the rest is all product of our delulu, speculations, wishful thinking etc, and we choose what to do with it. Im a 39 year-old man, with a master degree and more than 2 brain cells in my head and a full on life going on, yet in my comments on instagram i will refer to zz as "queen", "wifey", "madam huang" all in the name of funny banters and light hearted content and not because i find it to be the FACT. The fact is that i have enormous respect for that boy, not that i find his sole existence to be the wifey queen of jy. The FACT is that we can all learn from him how to behave mature, be strong, stick to your guns and believe in what you do, do stuff you find to be good for you, not bowing down to anyone and losing your integrity will result in success, not whether he wore the same tshirt as jy. The fact is that zz has always remaind humble, well behaved and he never allowed the success to take the best of him, not whether or not him and jy spent 2 hot nights in sanya in february. I could go on forever with this.

Vine, and everyone else on the internet are NOT here to please the crowd but because they post the things that make THEM happy and make THEM feel good. Those are THEIR accounts. The rest is up to us - who do we find at the same wave length, whose vibe matches ours, whose posts we like, and so on. Therefore we choose who to follow, and we all should be respectful to any other work anyone else posts online. Because, behind each and every profile is someone who takes time of their busy lives and puts a lot of work to provide the content for us. I personally cant stand the profiles dedicated to johnny and reba ship, but i dont go around barking online that they suck. I simpy DONT GO THERE. I stay in my own lane, i follow the content i like and let others live. Im not going around saying, or as the person in the post casually said "POINTING OUT"- hey everyone, dont follow that person because it doesnt align with MY OWN taste level. What qualifies anyone to say that? What right does anyone have to say that? Does any of us live or spend time with the boys? Using the FACTS logic, i could come to bummies profile every so often and be like - listen girl, you have to stop leading people on with your "hints" and "coincidences" and stick to the facts only tyvm. Right? Instead, i choose to visit your blog every day, LIVING for the content you put here.

Of course, there is always the responsibilty towards what you post publicly for everyone to see, but as long as there is nothing harmful or malicious im not being nit picky about it.

There are so few profiles dedicated to yuzhou left. There is bummies blog and like another 10ish instagram profiles still actively posting about them as one. Why having any bad vibes about any of them? Why showing any negative energy to anyone? Throwing shade or hate? What is the point like? Aren't we all here because we are supporting the boys for ALL the work they have done in the last 5 years, watching their growth in life and careers and having some light, fun time while doing it? Why creating any bad blood? I mean, we are basically being gossips girls, sorry everyone, we are not saving the world here or curing pandemics to take things so seriously.

As usual bummie, im ending this by thanking you yet again so much for everything you do, keep up with the good work! 🤗🤗🤗

Thanks for sharing your opinion. However, I just wanna make some points clearer here:

Tbh I'm not biased towards anyone in this case so I'm just gonna say what I'm thinking now. The previous anonymous ask about vsm was somehow pretty harsh towards vsm and I really don't want anyone to throw shade on her at all because I know she's a lovely fan of YZ and she's just trying her best to share the latest info about the boys. I know not all of her posts are about the facts; many of them are just delulus and jokes among fans, which are normal, and of course it's her own account so she could literally share anything she wants. However, I myself prefer the clarity in news/info delivery more, I mean if the post is just a delulu or joke, it should be stated clearly in order not to cause misleading or misunderstood things, because many interfans do not have Weibo accounts to double check the info, not to mention those new fans who might get confused even more. I have to say that this isn't the first time someone asking me about the reliability of some vsm's posts on IG because of her "vague" words and translation, and then I had to find the original posts on Weibo again or double check the info with Chinese cpfs then told vsm to correct her words.

So my opinion is that we are all sharing info with a big love for our idols but we also need to care about the clarity and reliability of our content as well. Of course we do not need to please anyone on the internet but at least we're responsible for what we post and those who might read it.

So I know character analysis in relation to the evente of True Colors isn't quite in style anymore, but Ive been mentally checked out for a month now and off my game for longer, so now that I'm in the zone again I'm gonna make yall regret it.

By which I mean yeah it's time for me to endulge in overthinking things and talking about how miserable Marcy's life is on a daily basis.

So some of the stuff Ive been thinking about isn't exactly new, we've known Marcy is real into escapism, we know she'd rather stay exploring other worlds than go back and get separated from her friends. But like, Ive been thinking about the specific detail that has me approaching it from a flipside. As much as I know Marcy loves Amphibia I don't think I ever gave enough credit to how much she Hates earth.

The specific detail in question being that she considers the calamity box a perfect birthday present for anne. On a surface level that detail doesnt seem super important, but the more thought I put towards it the more it seems like one of the most important details in the whole thing.

While one could make the argument that Marcy just used it being her birthday present as an excuse to get her hands on it and get it open, I just dont think shes that cunning. Shes smart yeah, but shes not agressive or manipulative with it, I think she genuinely believes, even at that point, that randomly getting sent to another world without her consent would be a good birthday present, the implications of which are unsettling to say the least.

Sure by the time True Colors happens she's got the firsthand experience and view of what Anne has been doing and has seen how good its been for her, so she is able to freely do the "I gave you this" knowing it was good. But at the beginning, everything was completely different.

Marcy wanted to get off of Earth in order to stay together with her friends, but she also knows that they arent aware thats even a factor, and I would even make the argument she isnt comfident enough in herself to think theyd actually go along with it if they knew her reasoning, just so they wouldnt get split up from her. (Honestly I could make a whole nother post about that and how I think part of her reason for not telling them what the box would do was because she was afraid theyd tell her she wasnt worth putting up any resistance for).

So Marcy is standing there, knowing her own reasons why she wants to run to another world, but also knowing that those reasons dont directly apply to Anne. And while she does tend to lose track of peoples wants and desires when she gets caught up in her own head, she knows Anne has parents she loves and cares about that she would miss, and probably all the other stuff we know Anne misses about home. Regardless she calls the box a present for Anne anyway.

Marcy's desire to (literally) escape to a fantasy world makes sense to me. I get it. I cant pretend I wouldnt seriously consider it myself and Im happy here anyway. But even I have enough stuff and relationships here Id loose a lot by going. The fact that Marcy takes no time to think and immediately wants off of earth speaks volumes. For Marcy, the literal only things in the entire world she holds valuable are Anne and Sasha and thats serioisly it.

In the past Ive categorized this as Marcy not having anything really tieing her down to earth and meaning she just doesnt really care for anything or anyone there but I think theres more too it than that.

For Marcy, the thought of leaving Earth is not just a convienent escape from her immediate problem. She knows Anne doesnt have the same things pushing her away from earth and she knows Anne has people she loves there, but she still classifies sending Anne away from earth without her consent as a present. Marcy believes, without even knowing where it will send them, that the box will be so good it will outweigh any negative feelings from the people anne will miss, entirely because literally anywhere is better than home.

Even knowing Anne has people she loves Marcys feelings are so strong that the concept of being on earth as anything more than a tolerable misery Anne has to deal with to be happy with the few things she likes about it just. Doesnt even occur to her. No matter how much Anne holds valuable Marcy cant understand the idea that losing all of that would be worth it and more just to get off of earth, to anywhere else, no matter where, so much so that in her eyes its a wonderful gift to literally anyone, because earth is such an inherently miserable place why would anyone want to stay?

tldr Marcy you poor child what are you not telling us

Not So Nice Post Before I Come Back Tomorrow:

Hey y’all. So I know I’m coming online tomorrow for the weekend but I just needed to come online and make a more negative post about something that happened on my birthday, before I can really get all excited about London.

So, basically, when I came back on my birthday, I was greeted by these in my inbox.

(TW: suic*de, sh, ableism, anon hate)

(the bit in red is the R slur and the S word that people sometimes use for disabled ppl)

I believe these were in response to me addressing false accusations of hate anon about me.

Some of these anons dont rly make that much sense to me in context so I don’t know if maybe after i addressed the situation the ppl that accused me of stuff started talking abt me again or something (which i suspected tho i thought most of it was paranoia and the nightmares i was having, but then one of these ppl was literally camping my pinterest for ages after so idk), and then some nasty people saw that and decided to send me these. I genuinely don’t know though, it could just be that the people that sent these just saw my response, are fans/friends of those people and sent these. Either way, it really fucking sucks. I guess.

I honestly didnt think there’d be backlash to me defending myself. I didn’t do anything wrong. maybe I was naive in that, i even hoped i moght get an apology tho ik that wouldn’t happen. i didnt expect such cruel things. i didnt expect this at all.

When i saw these on my birthday i tried to ignore these bc i wanted to have a nice day and i thought that if i spoke about them, then the anons themselves or other people would come for me harder and i knew i wouldn’t survive that. I also just didn’t have the strength to talk about this on my birthday. I barely have the strength now, but I need to get this out of my system before the weekend in London, as I’m desperate to have a nice time there.

These asks are also not the worst of it. There were other asks about my dog which are just so disgusting. I will share them in a rb or separate post but they are awful.

The last few weeks since my bday have basically just been me trying not to seriously hurt myself because of these anons. My eating disorder and my sh have just gotten way worse bc of it, but tbh i think that’s kept me alive. if i wasn’t damaging myself, then id be dead. Even tho I’ve turned asks off, i still come on here scared that these people would’ve done something to my account or have targeted my other accounts. they haven’t yet, but someone was trying to get into my ao3 a few weeks ago and idk who that could be but maybe it was one of these ppl who sent the anons??

I know these people are just trolls who are powerless without anonymity, but i cant help but just believe them and give into hurting myself even more. i was already really struggling mentally after what went down and seeing these has just made it worse.

I’m very much used to ableism in my life, but not rly like this. i didnt rly think ppl like this existed anymore. it makes me sad to know there are people like this out there.

i dont know who sent them or what they get out of sending them. I didn’t do anything wrong. I was just defending myself from very serious false accusations against me, i don’t understand why these people hate me so much. I haven’t done anything. idk what ppl have been saying about me (if anything) and unless its more serious accusations then i don’t care. i literally havent done anything wrong. im so sick of this shit. I’m so done with everything. It’s obvious that there are so many people who just want me to die, including myself. I can’t take it anymore. I don’t understand this. If you hate me that much, at least have the courtesy to hate me without the mask of anonymity.

I’m scared posting this will lead to me being further targeted by these anons / other people, but idc. if they come after me and it kills me, then it kills me. so what. im too tired to care anymore. I just wanted to get this out there, so maybe i can enjoy my weekend and try and not think abt these anons as much anymore.

i don’t know who sent the anons or why but i hope you got what you wanted.

That’s all. I will post the asks about my dog in a minute. I apologise for posting such negative things but i just can’t take it anymore its been haunting my brain for like weeks now i just want it to go away. I sort of had the confidence to talk abt these now which is why I’m here today. I’m sorry. if those anons are reading this then pls just leave me alone. i havent done anything wrong.

hey! if you dont mind can you do a past life post for bts jungkook as well if you haven't? its okay if you cant, i know this blog is kinda based on nct.

Past Life Serie: The Secrets Of Reincarnation

Past Life Serie, is a Serie where we discover the past life of a member before he reincarnared in this life we know today. As always I’ve used tarot and oracles to cover as much as I could ❤️ hope you guys will enjoy ! Remember to take this with a grain of salt, and don’t judge! A lot of People take this belief seriously so be respectful and just have fun !

Side note: you are free to request for other idols. If you wanna know about yourself please contact me on twitter. Also past life readings are longer and more difficult to do, thus the rules are different than usual readings that I give

Jungkook From BTS

Sex:

Male

Looks:

He was very handsome, very young looking as well. A nice tan skin and piercing dark eyes. He was average height and had a pretty much normal body as well. He simply had this very dark and attractive aura

Astrological Sign:

Sagittarius with Scorpio Rising and Aries Moon

Their Past Life:

Okay so I won’t be sugar coating my reading so I will let you know beforehand that is life was really.. sad and shitty to be honest. Since he was very young, Jungkook lived on a very poor neighbourhood and family. I feel like many times he felt hunger

He was young when he found this person (definitely a woman) that was older than him. This person took him under her wing however she wasn’t that of a good person

Jungkook suffered a lot because of her. He definitely grew attached and he developed strong feelings toward a woman that only used him for her own benefits. I see a lot of fear, anxiety and depression. He was terrorised that she would leave him by himself

This person made him do things that he didn’t wanted however he had to do in order to survive. Despite everything that he might have done, Jungkook was successful most of the times (I feel like he did a lot of illegal things but was lucky most of times for never getting caught )

Again, she would lie and manipulate him. His whole energy is basically tormented and charged with this person’s influence

Anyway, I also feel that despite all of that pain he felt, there was purity and love on his heart. So no matter what she did, he still loved her

How Many Times Have They Lived?:

2

Karmic Chains:

Jungkook’s soul is linked to the manifestation karma. Basically he is able to turn anything into reality as long as his manifestation is pure and kind. His actions are also linked with it. He has sting manifestations but he also needs to make sure his deeds are good for them to work fully

The second karmic chain is basically the same, but more attached to wishes, to prayers. Because again, Jungkook is someone that is able to get what he desires and what he wishes for, however this can also be negative cause everything that he wishes has a price to pay

Tea Facts:

Jungkook was submitted to this woman. Like a literal puppy. Whatever she asked from him, he would do it. She was able to show him new ways to survive yes, but he was unable to see evil on her

I feel like there was a murder of some type or at least some big crime made by her and where he was involved because that action got him caught. However what’s interesting to see and feel is that Jungkook ended up in prison but not her (as she blamed everything on him). And guess what ? He didn’t flinched. He preferred to sacrifice himself for her

What’s saddening it’s that he thought she loved him and that she would be here for him. However as soon as he got in prison she kept on with her life and moved on. Jungkook was definitely heartbroken and yet he couldn’t find any hate toward her. Only love

He was unable to escape that love he had for her even when he realised that she had been manipulative

He died at a very young age (around 30) in prison.

The distance from her killed him

Other than that, Jungkook had been happy despite living on a very poor background

How do you feel about us radfems? We have very opposing opinions and I want to know an MRA's thoughts. Also may I ask why you're against feminism, I mean feminism is about females, don't expect us to always talk about men's problems all the time, it's like asking asking an animal activist why they are more focused on animal problems then humans. Please be respectful and have a wonderful day 😊

A couple things:

- I am sincerely sorry that I'm just now responding. For some reason, I wasn't getting notifications for this blog and suddenly I am. So who knows what's up with that lol

- When I mention feminists in this response, I'm not meaning all feminists. Just some. I wanted to say this here instead of putting "(some)" each time

-sometimes I ramble unintentionally while trying to get my point across. If I do that, I apologize.

--

1st question:

So I actually had to Google that term, Radfem, because while I've seen it on here, I didn't really know what it stood for.

And after looking what you guys believe, I can't say I really agree with it. I mean, I'm sure you guys are lovely people; I just can't get myself to agree with things like we live in a patriarchy and such. Beyond that, I don't really have much of an opinion about y'all. I'll get into some of what you guys believe and what I disagree with when I get to answering why I'm anti feminism.

--

2nd:

I have many reasons why I'm against it. This is in no particular order.

- I don't believe we live in a patriarchal society and that women are some 2nd class. I live in the U.S. so I can only speak for here but I don't think that we are dealing with as much sexism as feminists like to say we do. Of course, it still happens somewhere, we'll never fully be rid of it, but I feel like we have it pretty good here.

We have rights. We can do the same things a man can, except for something that may be out of our physical capacity.

Part of the issue is that it seems controversial to say that men and women are different. It's a fact. We aren't built the same. We have different ways of doing things, on average. It doesn't mean that it's bad or some sort of derogatory thing.

Being equal doesn't mean we're going to be equal in the strictest sense. It's just not possible. And it's okay. It really is.

- I also feel like instead of trying to work on solutions or raising awareness about issues going on in other countries where girls dont have these same rights, there's just a lot of complaining about trivial things.

- Feminists say we should respect a womans choice but if we choose not to be a feminist, that isn't usually respected. They can get nasty with us and assume that we want male attention or we're brainwashed and we let the men in our lives decide for us or we hate other women. It's dumb. If you really respect someone's choice, that includes a choice you dont necessarily agree with.

There's this mold one has to fit into in order to be fo considered a "real" feminist. You have to think a certain way. For example, I'm pro life and that's not acceptable. Again, I'd be met with sexism and hostility simply because I'm not conforming to the standard in which they believe to be okay.

It pretty contradicts when feminists say that if you're for equality, then you're a feminist because that's not true. Because, again, there's a standard one must abide by.

- This is kind of hard to explain but I also feel like the feminism movement, in a way, is actually harmful to girls. They keep getting this idea thrown around constantly that they're oppressed and such and that kind of negativity isn't good. It puts false ideas in their head and they start to believe it and they go around, thinking that society sees them as inferior. Does that make sense?

- I understand what feminism is for. However, we get told that feminism is for everyone, feminism is for men, too. But it's hard to take that seriously when the amount of men bashing posts out there is unreal. Why would any guy want to be part of a movement that thinks the worst of them and thinks it's acceptable to do so because....reasons?

- The hypocrisy. This is another huge one for me. I see it too much. For example, being against body shaming but turning around and saying, "small dick energy" to a guy that disagreed with you and then trying to justify it by insisting it was just a joke.

I have important men in my life, like my dad, and I can't overlook those things. I wont overlook it. Even though the movement is more for females, it doesn't give someone a right to be dismissive toward issues that affect men and then say that, well women have it worse.

I've seen that and it's disgusting. And when you bring the behavior to light, then people will say that, "oh, well they're not a real feminist."

Okay. But why aren't people doing more to move away from those supposed fake feminists so the movement doesn't get looked at as every feminist being that way? Like I said, I'm referencing *some* feminists, not all. There are good feminists out there of course. But I just dont think that there's something being done enough that distances them from the very vocal ones that we see on social media and such.

- what's also pushed me away is the lack of respect when it comes to discussing stuff online. Granted, some of that could be people mouthing off because it's the internet and people do that. But it's frustrating when I'm genuinely interested in a discussion and because it's something someone disagrees with I get a response like this:

"He's not gonna notice you, girl."

"No❤"

"Kill yourself:)"

Or name calling

Or some other immaturity

It doesn't help. It makes it look like we're supposed to blindly go with whatever is being said and we cant question it. That's not right. It prevents good conversations from happening because they're so quick to judge and assume and scream at you. And that's sad, because we don't need yet another thing to divide us.

Anyway, I hope that answers your question! Thanks for asking!:)

Zenitsu should've had an arc where he slowly learns how to love himself with the help of his friends and realizes he's not weak and has worth and doesn't deserve pain and doesn't deserve to be treated like shit- I just want him to have some shred of confidence please please please please please ple-

ok so every time i had an ask like this ive always just said ‘but look at the bright side! what are hc and aus for! gotoge had problems,, etc etc’ and i feel like ive always just glossed u guys over and maybe even made it seem like these opinions dont matter so im gonna take the time to try and answer this a smidge seriously (under read more bc its long, also im not tagging bc tumblr might fuck up the formatting again rip) (also warning for manga spoilers)

(also disclaimer sdjfhksd i havent read the manga! so im gonna go off of other people’s claims about zenitsu having wasted potential. and to be fair ive read the few last chapters, or at least PARTS of them) 

im not new to having a favorite character whose more or less claimed to have had a lot of potential but losing it in canon bc of, for a lack of a more general term, ‘’bad writing’’. and im not saying kny has bad writing, i dont think im one to judge that JUST yet but for comparison yall should know that i have a fav character in another series that is written so badly that he has the personality of cardboard and was only given life thanks to fanon content. and i dont blame people when they say they dont like said character! its the same as zenitsu, only that this guy, this yellow idiot, actually has a much more solid grasp on how he acts/feels/does things! but more often than not, this linear perspective does damage to how deep his character actually goes, thus just making him the stereotypical ‘pervert’ in an anime. ive seen people say that he’s just the same as mineta!!! which is just. very sad for me

i understand why they’d think like that though, maybe there wouldve been a difference if kny became more popular b4 bnha, but who knows! anyways, back to zenitsu. now, i understand if people ever found his actions uncomfortable or annoying! but when people say that he’s just a crybaby and that he’s literally just dead weight that’s when i get,,, well, iffy. and this is kinda where the frustration comes, we see zenitsu overcoming these obstacles off screen, apparently it was even only just mentioned in a passing comment that zenitsu had stopped having to fall asleep to do missions and cried less when he was going on solo missions. these are the tidbits that i wish was shown more explicitly in canon, showcasing his growth and such. MAYBE it was touched upon once kaigaku came up, but thats another problem, literally kaigaku only showed up once in a flashback and then suddenly he’s a demon? sure a brief flashback that showed him being in gyomei’s orphanage wouldve been enough to put some light, but i think there was still some things that wasnt touched upon when we discuss how kaigaku was portrayed in canon. i think he’s even MORE misunderstood compared to zenitsu. they have (arguably) been in the same situation in their childhood, have drastically different personalities and dealt with it in their own way, but in the end i think he was just used so that zenitsu had a big bad he had to defeat. i think there wouldve been more impact if we were shown thunder fam interacting more, imagine how cool that wouldve been, ESPECIALLY if kaigaku just wasnt thrown into the manga and was given a chance to interact with kamaboko before hand. just, a lot to think about.

and now we have what happened in the last few chapters, w tanjirou becoming a demon and after all that zenitsu just says something along the lines of ‘ill make u pay for hurting me and my future wife (nezuko)’ which sucks to a degree. but count the fact that gotoge was inching towards zennezu, as i mentioned in a previous post, he was worried about nezuko getting hurt by tanjirou. im also a bit disappointed that he didnt really do much in terms of, well, caring for tanjirou, but one GOOD thing that i really liked happening was in the previous chapters bEFORE tan got turned to a demon, the part w him assuring inosuke that he can still hear tanjirou’s heartbeat, and then consecutively screaming at tanjirou that he had to stay alive, he went as far to say that he hears nezuko’s human heartbeat and that he has a family to return to, which was, surprise surprise, apparently somewhat a LIE! i cant confirm this unfortunately since ive long since lost the explanation but someone said that zenitsu wasnt actually able to hear nezuko’s heartbeat then, meaning he lied for tanjirou’s sake bc he knew that if he’d pull through something, he’d pull through it for nezuko. (there’s also that part where zenitsu fought hard to keep this family alive since well, he doesnt have one to return to, which is just. ouch) another thing i liked about this part is that he wasnt!!! crying!!!, but both inosuke and tanjirou were and dont u just love the irony. dont u just love it when zenitsu, resident crybaby of the demon slayer corps, is the one who shouts at the both of his friends, who are usually the ones pushing him, yelling at him to stop sniveling and fight, to raise their chins up and to not give up? i think these few moments are JUST ABSOLUTELY TASTY. 

but. unfortunately, they are glossed over once we have what happened in chapter 203.

tl/dr; zenitsu’s character is something much more than a crybaby who’s a pervert and annoying. these points overshadow the fact that he’s a kind person, who was willing to protect nezuko despite knowing she was a demon just BECAUSE he trusted tanjirou that much and that he had a kind sound! he’s willingly THROWN HANDS when someone talked bad about kaigaku, a person he ADMITTED HE HATES, because he respects them as a person! zenitsu is much more than a crybaby who’s a pervert and annoying. if only canon were able to explain much more clearly than these few tidbits that we were given.

//im crying at the club im so sorry this is so long oh god oh fuck. anyways ive been disappointed time and time again and ive long since really stopped looking forward to the best to my fav characters and ive been p negative in previous fandoms so its why i avoided complaining like this in this blog but yeah kjfhkjsdf thank u for reading,,, 

hey so I agree with a lot of the stuff in your post about the transphobia involved in the origin of the pansexual label, but I just have one question: what are the actual impacts of people with good intentions calling themselves pan? If you don't hate pansexuals and consider them bi, why type up a paragraphs long manifesto on the harms of the origin of the label if it means the same thing in the way that most non transphobic people (your audience) use it? a lot of identities can be used in transphobic ways (like bi and lesbian and anything really) and plenty of valid identities from problematic roots and evolve over time as people use them differently (queer, transsexual). so how is a person with good intentions using a not-perfect label in a way you don't like a threat to the community? if someone is using the label pan transphobically, wouldn't their bigotry exist independently? if pan people do not act in transphobic ways besides using the label pansexual, realistically what is changing if they call themselves bi beyond holier-than-thou aesthetic activism? plus, a blog on the internet isn't going to get everyone to stop identifying as pansexual, especially considering multiple prominent celebrities ID as pan. so why spend all that energy quibbling on semantics because some bi people use a slightly different word when you could be worrying about Literally anything else? just feels like you want to find something to argue about lol. extremely disappointed that I had to break a mutual

im going to respond to each thing you bring up chronologically- im not trying to nitpick or prioritize certain things you say ill just forget things if i go out of order and i dont want to miss something important. ALSO! i will be typing less formally (like keysmashes and shortening words n stuff) in this response than my og post bc its 1am as im starting to type this so im tired but i want to be clear that i am like. taking this seriously and im not like. mocking u in anyway if it could read that way?? i hope not but just in case anyways here it goes!

in terms of actual impact people with good intentions identifying as pan: honestly im not  sure the full scope of the impact this has, so ill only be speaking to what ive personally seen which might not be all. but like... id argue my younger self has good intentionals iding as pan. i wanted to support trans people, even if i didnt understand a lot of the nuance involved. as a result of this, i developed a sense of superiority over other bisexuals and a mentality that bisexuality was a primitive and lesser sexuality. that mentality is harmful, and although im not sure if it affected bisexuals around me (of which there are many most of my friends are bi ajfjfjf) its still a harmful mentality and can easily hurt people even if i specifically didnt. also using it even with good intentions, which i know many people have, still spreads and further normalizes a label that imo can not be separated from its transphobic origins. this effect is not as extreme as other forms of transphobia and biphobia by A LONG SHOT. the bi community faces a lot of other issues but that doesnt mean this one isnt worth addressing if that makes sense?

if i dont hate pansexuals: ik this is part of a larger point which i will adress but i specified this in my post bc i see a lot of other posts that are negative towards pansexuality have "i hate pan ppl" somewhere in it or a close equivalent. i do not shame these ppl for their anger, i just wanted to be clear i think a lot of pan ppl are bi ppl with good intentions choosing a label they dont fully understand based on a misunderstanding of bisexuality.

why write a paragraphs long manifesto on the harms of pansexuals origin: ok 😭😭 the real reason here is that im literally just bad at summarizing. like thats literally it. i also like talking, its a bad combination. plus ive been thinking abt this for like. over a year im not even kidding and just like i have a lot of thoughts and figured if i was going to bother making my own post instead of rbing someone elses that i might as well get everything i wanted to say off my chest. ALSO BTW i literally got an ask like a week ago that was several paragraphs long asking me to explain my thoughts on why pan was harmful and some other stuff so like. this is partially responding to that and partially just me wanting to air my grievances ? idk if thats the right expression 😔😔

why write the post if my audience of people who identify as pan arent doing it in a transphobic way ? again sorry i didnt really understand the phrasing so i hope this is a vaguely correct summary!! um but like... again imo i think pan cant be separated from its transphobia and like. again imo iding as pan is like. a transphobic action/choice? obviously one transphobic thing does mean someone necessarily is like officially a Transphobe (it CAN be depending on the action but i dont think that applies here) but that doesnt mean there arent problems with what they did. this is like very complicated, but like. someone doing something harmful without the knowlege that its harmful doesnt make that person a bigot by any means it just means they didnt know. and i feel thats the case here? a lot of ppl (myself included until recently) know next to nothing abt pansexualitys origins so a trans inclusve sexuality might seem like a safe and good bet just because they dont know too much abt it, and like? i cant hate those people cause that was me for 5+ years and djgjfjdj you just dont know what you dont know!

basically i think iding with a transphobic label is inherently a singular transphobic action that doesnt make the person transphobic by itself, but is still a transphobic instance.

a lot of identities can be used in transphobic ways like bi, lesbian, etc.: this is true and a point i attempted to make on my original post, but i might not have clear enough. my issue with pan is specifically that it is a transphobic response to a preexisting identity. lesbian isnt an attempted trans inclusive indentity that replaced an identity that already existed (which have many trans ppl identifying with the og label). transphobes can use whatever labels they want, but transphobes using a label vs a label having a transphobic origin is very different. bigots use inclusive and supporting language for their bigotry all the time but language that originated with that bigotry is worse.

many valid identities stem from problemstic origins (like transsexual and queer) but the words evolve: ok my paraphrasing is a little weird there. anyways. the thing here is that. those are slurs. reclaimed slurs that can be empowering to many people, yes, but slurs nonetheless. reclaiming a slur is taking a harmful word and wearing it as a badge of pride. first off, pansexual is not a slur (ur not implying that in anyway just. saying) and it isnt being reclaimed when people dont treat it as having harmful origins. transsexual is the way some people identify but ppl acknowlege its a slur and originates from transphobia. ppl love to act like queer isnt a slur, which is an issue in and of itself, but just. factually it has historically and is currently being used against ppl with the intent to hurt them. pansexual isnt on the same level as these and other words like the f slur, d slur, etc. pansexual originates from trans and biphobia WITHIN the community and not outside of it, and most pansexuals dont see themselves as reclaiming the title because they dont think anythings wrong with it in the first place. and reclaiming it just seems unnecessary considering its history? theres no empowerment from using pan as a label as opposed to queer or transsexual, and it just divides the bisexual community for no reason.

how is a person using a not-perfect label a threat to the community? ok i dont think its a threat but still an issue if that difference makes sense? id like to reiterate a few things ive said before, but for me personally, it made me look down on bisexuals and see them as lesser, and it made people around me see pan as the "trans inclusive" sexuality as opposed to bisexuality, and basically its usage just leads to further biphobia. is this the worst of biphobia? no!!! but its still biphobia and why not attempt to target and minimize that? i have no way to singlehandedly stop biphobia, but my post might get through to my friends who id as pan and that small thing is better than nothing.

if someone used the pan label in a transphobic way, wouldnt that bigotry be different from people using it not transphobically?: someone claiming all bi ppl are transphobic and only pan is the acceptable label is obviously a lot worse than someone iding as pan and saying bi/pan solidarity but again, the second isnt not an issue because the first one is a bigger issue, its just a smaller issue in comparison. i wouldnt say the bigotry is different, one is just worse than the other, but it still has the same problems.

if pan people dont do anything transphobic other than id as pan then what changes with iding as bi over pan other holier-than-thou activism: its just one less person using a transphobic label? which isnt that big but it might lead to their friends stopping iding as pan and cause fewer people around them to see bi as a transphobic identity. which is small scale stuff, i wont try to blow it out of proportion, but thats still a step in the right direction and hopefully more people follow with it. its not terribly huge or lifechanging but something small that may only affect the people close to you is still something rather than nothing.

a blog the internet isnt going to get people to stop iding as pan: oh absolutely not. honestly i expected to get unfollowed/blocked more than change peoples minds regarding the pan label (im surprised i only lost two followers so far honestly) but again, someone literally asked me to do this and i wanted to be clear on my stance on the label, since in the past ive been supportive of it. im not expecting the post to get more than five likes, its more directed to my followers rather than the internet as a whole. im not expecting a large impact, im hoping to change the minds of my followers and friends who id as and support the pan label. thats it. if something bigger comes from it- great! but thats not what im aiming to do.

prev point + many prominent celebrities id as pan: the first name that comes to mind is someone im not a fan of for separate reasons but thats irrelevant. i mean im repeating myself a bit but some celebrities in the past validated and made me feel excited abt my identity as a pan person when they came out, and it justified the label to me, even when i had doubts. i have never interacted with a celebrity and do not plan to change their minds abt their identity. again, my post was for my friends and followers and maybe who ever was scrolling through the biphobia tag and decided to read my post.

why spend that much energy worrying abt the pan label instead of something else: ive spent waaaaay more energy thinking abt a singular meme i didnt like regarding my favourite rwby character so like. maybe i just overreact to things lol. maybe i have a lot of energy and since i cant talk my friends ears off abt my favourite fruits or the different voting methods i learned in my math class or what would dreams taste like, then i gotta put my energy into something. idk. i have a lot of energy and honestly? this didnt take that much. but i felt it weighing on me as my friends talked positively abt the pan label, when i felt guilty for the superiority i felt over my bi friends INCLUDING my best friend and favourite person in the world so like. i spent enough energy worrying abt it, and like. in hindsight since its been over 12 hours since posting it, im thinking abt it less. i was more worried abt feeling dishonest with my friends than actually worrying abt pansexuality, but i figured i owed them an explanation for why my feelings around it had changed.

just feels like you want to find something to argue about: okay i DO love arguing but im not pulling this out of my ass for fun. its in response to posts ive seen on my dash, asks i recieved abt pansexuality, and my way of letting people know my views have changed and why since i know at least some people are curious.

i am sorry to lose a mutual as well, and i genuinely hope things go well for you, but uh yeah thats that.

again, if people have further questions im willing to answer them i just might take a while bc i have school and other stuff 2 do but uhhh yea sorry if im clogging ur dash sjfjfkkf

Hypocrisy in fandom.

TW // suicide, suicide baiting, harassment

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Yesterday, I nearly killed myself.

I was in the midst of a breakdown, I was shaking so hard I couldnt breathe, and if I wasn't I likely would have been able to open the pill bottle and I likely would have gone through with it.

I had to be talked down via phone call while I was on a camping trip with my family.

But why?

Two days ago, I did something awful. I found a "pedo struggling" account, run by an anti, who was posting screenshots of me and my friends, and called them out.

Little did I know, this would be the start of something horrible.

It started out fine. I made a couple jokes, laughed along at other proshippers in the comments, and it was all fine.

Then, the account posted a vague tweet. "They won't stop." I thought this was funny, so I poked more fun at them. Watched them squirm as they replied to my friends in shaky, broken English. I called it crytyping. I mocked them for it. I assumed I knew what I was talking about and instead of realizing that they were having a breakdown, I assumed that they were being performative and made some horrid accusations in a long callout thread about them. I posted screenshots of them as they replied with, what I thought was, performative nonsense. I privately mocked them. To summarize, I did something entirely, unarguably, factually awful. I made assumptions I had no right to make and acted on them in the worst way.

Then I went to bed.

When I woke up, I had hundreds of notifications. Spammed messages of "deactivate," "how could you do something like this," and a barrage of fancams.

It had come out that the person I was mocking was having a genuine panic attack, and that I had mocked them in a time of immense struggle and pain. I had no right to mock them in the first place, but now that it was genuine, my actions were amplified.

I finally took more than two seconds to think about what I'd done, and realized I was a huge, giant, absolutely massive asshole. I deleted the thread, released a long apology, and tried to take every comment and all my criticism in stride. I was still getting a lot of hate. That was understandable. I knew I didnt deserve to be forgiven yet. I let it be. I didnt tweet anything else for fear of it seeming like I wasnt taking this horrible situation seriously. I sincerely, honestly replied to people asking me why, how, and what I thought I was doing. They had every right to know. Still, the cries of "deactivate" rolled in. I knew I deserved them.

Then, it got worse.

I got a comment. I checked it.

"I dont usually say this but ummm... you should kys."

My heart raced. It had been a while since someone had told me to kill myself. I knew I had fucked up but I didnt realize just how hard, if people were really telling me to kill myself. But i brushed it off. It was one comment. I deserved it.

But it kept. Coming.

More people. "Deactivate," "kill yourself," "you're a freak." All day. Every minute I'd have a new notif, and every moment a new threat. "You'll be alone forever." "I hope you rot alone." I knew I had to take it because I had inadvertently sent people to harass that person. I didnt deserve to be forgiven. I still dont.

People watched my follower count drop. So did I. I lost mutuals I had interacted with for months. I lost people who said that they would always be there for me. I lost people who used to call me their best friend.

I had no one ask me for my side. No one that i was close to, anyway. None of the tens of people who told me that they cared about me, that they loved me, that theyd always be there for me. Not a single one of them was there to ask me. They all read the same callout post, and came to the same conclusion. That I was a horrible, unforgivable person. And I dont blame them for that. Sometimes I think I am too.

Then they kept going even more. More hate. More callout posts, except now people were making things up. They were lying and I couldnt do anything about it because I was in the wrong and not to be redeemed. Old friends took the sides of people who genuinely suggested that I die or kill myself, and people who said they loved me were handing over screenshots to these people in hopes that they wouldnt get thrown under the bus.

They took old things that I said and did and exaggerated them, posted old DMs out of context, and when they couldnt manipulate my words they just didnt provide evidence at all. They had that power. They had the power to lie about me and I had given it to them.

More people joined in. There was a hashtag spread of me. #staymadeddie on twitter. Look it up if you think I'm lying. People tried to get this trending.

After over a day and a half of NOTHING but constant harassment, I started to think I should take their advice. If I was dead, I'd finally be quiet, and theyd get what they wanted. If I was dead, they wouldnt yell at me anymore. They wouldnt harass me. I would be free.

They managed to make me feel like this in a day and a half.

I had a public breakdown. I screamed over the internet, phone held in shaking hands as I tried not to sob in earshot of my family. I frantically pleaded to what little I had left that they stop. I begged to know what they wanted from me. I asked if they really wanted me to die. I begged them to leave me alone. I threw my phone at my bed, ran to the med cabinet, and grabbed a bottle of pills. If I hadn't been shaking so hard, I'd have opened it. If I had opened it, I dont like to think about what I might have done. I was flooded with comments telling me to get help. Close friends begged me not to do what I wanted so badly to. They dmed me left and right, but i ignored it. I felt numb. Everything had been hurting so much that when presented with death felt almost better. Obviously that was a ludicrous thought. It was a day and a half. I was being rash. But I didnt care. I couldnt take it anymore. I'm 15, I have severe anxiety and depression. When overwhelmed, my impulsive thoughts and actions take over.

A friend called me and had to talk me down over phone call while I was camping with my family. It was successful, of course, but the rest of the day I was plagued with a deep depression that left me feeling hollow and worthless. I still cant keep my thoughts away from it. I think about all the people I've lost. All the people who, in their eyes, I'm dead to. All the people who swore they'd be with me, but when push came to shove they couldnt even spare me a glance.

My crime was harassing a minor. I made assumptions I had no right to make and publicly blasted someone for having a panic attack. In no way was that okay and in no way am I entitled to be forgiven. However, I deleted the post. I released an apology. I took criticism as best I could, without blaming my actions on anything or anyone but myself. I did what they always tell you to do when you fuck up.

But it didnt work.

I *was* genuinely sorry.

I *did* recognize my mistake

I *tried* to make amends.

I *didn't* pass blame.

I fucked up. Hard. But no matter what I did no one would stop. I lost close friends. I lost a best friend. It almost seemed like I'd made it worse.

There is no moral. Because real life isnt black and white. I did an awful thing. These people did awful things too. There is more than one victim here. In people's quest to gain justice for me harassing a minor, they harassed a minor into near suicide and laughed at it.

Dont forget that behind EVERY account there is a real person. Be they adult or child, everyone will fuck up and even though in general we need to think before we post, like I clearly didnt, it is possible to learn from our actions and one negative one doesn't define a person.

I'll say this again.

To some people, people I trusted, people who said they cared about me, i am dead. They hate my guts. I'll never be redeemed. But I'm expected to improve myself with this knowledge. I'm supposed to take all the hate and never speak about the hate coming my way for fear of trying to victimize myself.

No. Fuck you.

I AM a victim. I was harassed as much as they were, and even though I threw the first stone, I never told anyone to die. I never lied about anyone. I didnt cancel them. I learned my mistake and apologized, but I KNOW that NO ONE will EVER be expected to apologize for what they did to me.

What I did was horrible. I am not entitled to forgiveness. I will repeat that a hundred times. But to beat me down until I'm nearly dead, to call me a freak and a pedo and a disgusting person, to tell me to kill myself, then laugh when I call myself a victim, is disgusting.

I DON'T deserve this, and I'm tired of having to pretend like I do.

By all means. Criticize me. Make jokes. Be harsh. But do NOT tell me to kill myself over a lack of forethought, and then have the guts to call yourself a "protector of kids." You're not.

You're only out to protect your friends, and the people who agree with you, other people's lives be damned. I dont matter to you. And you'll never admit that you hurt me.

I’m sorry..

So I wrote a whole essay yesterday only for tumblr to be really stupid and I lost it. Anyways, I came to write out my feelings and my thoughts before being done with this tumblr.  I've mentioned this tumblr to you before and you didn't care enough to even look at it for yourself. So I'm sure me typing all this is a huge waste of time but its worth losing this amount of time to let out everything I need to, to move on. It's time I put this all in my past. So we tried again recently.  And I fucked it up. Because that's all I've been doing for years now.  I'm really sorry, truly, for how i behaved and lashed out on you. It's not okay how I handled that situation.  But I have told people time and time again that I am NOT doing well mentally or emotionally. And I was not kidding nor exaggerating, as you had to find out the hard way. I did try to calm myself down when I was mad and said how I felt and what I thought at first in the most calm way I knew how then you proceeded to be an asshole and talk to me sideways. So I lost my shit. You had the opportunity to see my ugly"asshole" side.  You say I can't handle yours  when I dealt with it for a year, but you couldn't handle mine after ONE time of lashing out on you. I did NOT ghost you. I told you in the voice clip, that I was done. YOU said you weren't listening to it. So therefore it was your fault that you didn't know i was done. Your fault that you didn't take the time to hear what I had to say and went around saying I ghosted you. In that moment of anger, I was done with you. But of course like always after my anger and feelings have calmed down, I felt like shit and regretted how I behaved and the stupid decisions I make when I'm upset. So in all of that out of control emotion, I lost you. And IT IS MY FAULT. And yes I do regret it. But what is done is done. I admitted to being the problem.  But im not all of what was wrong in that relationship.  You too had issues of your own that you did not hold yourself accountable for. And I dont find it fair that I had no problem admitting I was the issue and holding myself accountable for that and my behavior. However I rarely ever heard you own up to your shit. So I'm not taking all the blame but I can take most of it because some of it was me too and not just you. But I bet you are okay with me taking the blame for all of it. The constant leaving you was not because I wanted to but because of how you made me feel. Yet I felt like I couldn't live with you, I also couldn't live without you. And that was the confusing part. Why i probably kept going back and forth. I never felt this way about anyone . I never felt like I couldn't live with them but I couldn't live without them either. You have disrespected me many times and I bit my tongue and said nothing. My whole life I've been around drama and bullshit and narcissistic abuse.. so I dont know how to be confrontational in a healthy way or how to communicate effectively without feeling like im always the problem or im wrong or my feelings are wrong. And etc. It's hard to explain but a lot of that has to do with what I had to deal with growing up and still somewhat dealing with it as an adult. So im trying to break myself from bad, unhealthy, toxic behaviors and habits. So thats why im still doing and reacting the way i am. I am 25 years old and still dealing with that shit, its not part of my past yet, but it will be. So thats just explaining why I'm like this, not excusing it.  So the times I left were mostly YOUR fault. But you also left at least  2 times too..so it isn't all me. Every time I would for sure leave you alone, youd come running back. Just when I thought I could move on here you were. And sometimes I was the one running back. Like I said i was confused. But im not running back this time. I'm not gonna reach out to you. I dont hate you nor do I love you any less. I still love you with all of my heart and that hasn't changed nor will it ever even if that has changed for you because of how I've hurt you. But for me this is speaking my truth. And thsts the truth. I'm sorry that i threw everything we were trying to build together, in the garbage over an argument and because of my emotions and my mental health being so terrible. If I could go back and change that I would but we are better off going our separate ways. I'm sorrh I had to block you but I had to block Sierra too. I do not appreciate her posts. Feel what she may but what I wrote was honest and wasn't just about you but about others I've hurt along the way. You are not the only one. I don't care that she feels that way or if she doesn't like me anymore. She's not in my shoes nor are you, to understand or try to understand. I already admitted to being the issue so if she didn't like what I posted on my fb she could've just deleted and blocked me. But instead of reacting in a bad way i deleted and blocked her because i dont need negativity when im trying to heal and move on. I dont need her judgmentYou sent19 minutes agoNor do I need yours. You are always gonna see me as the bad guy and that's fine. But im no longer looking at myself that way. I'm seeing a woman who is trying to break herself from toxic ways and toxic behavior but is struggling to do it while also going through a lot of shit. Im flawed just like you..I'm not perfect. Not even close to it. I've been understanding and patient and always trying to see your perspective and its never really been a two ways street with you. You expect that from me but don't expect to give it back. And I'm tired of that. Been tired of that. I put it in alot of effort to make shit work when I was trying to fix things but I got tired, Bee. I didn't take you seriously because every time I tried to i didnt feel like you were taking it seriously enough to change your ways and your lifestyle. I wanted you to work so you had an income to better yourself and your future and also to help tatianna with Julian. As a single mom it is hard to take care of a kid by yourself and I wanted you to try to help her financially at least.  And not only a job but to stop drinking because I don't want you to end up in a coffin at such a young age. And to leave behind your son. How fair is that to Julian?  I love you, bee. I never want anything bad to happen to you even if you don't believe that. You're the only one who doesn't see how much i love you or how bad you have had an emotional toll on me. For some reason you're blinded by all of that. You say i didn't love you but if i hadn't I would've been done with you the very first time we broke up in November . But no I fell hard for you and put a lot of effort and love into us only for us to fall apart. So.. I hope you know i wanted a family with you too. I wanted to wake up next to you and my daughter,  and one day maybe. Not just my daughter. But a child of our own. With big blue eyes and curly hair.. that looked like you. I wanted a lil boy that looked like you with my eyes and hair and your face.  I wanted that more than i could tell you. I never could tell you that because i got embarrassed.  But I wanted that, with you. Not anyone else and now i feel like that I don't want another relationship.  Nor do i want to even bother starting over with someone else and feeling like this again. I don't even care anymore. Im so drained and exhausted. You were the love of my life. I fucked it up and now the bed I made, I have to lay in. So yeah you get the satisfaction of knowing I'm hurting and regretting what I did. But I get the satisfaction of never allowing myself to make this mistake again with another person and to focus on my issues with myself so I don't bring this kind of baggage and problems into my future relationships.  So maybe it's for the better that we move on. Maybe one day you can forgive me  enough to not hate me and maybe if I'm lucky enough to at least call you my friend.  I loved you like I've never loved anyone and it is hard to write without crying but I know that sometimes life is pain and heartbreak and that if we were ever meant to be than maybe somewhere down the road we could rekindle a friendship or more but maybe the timing is off and you were my right person but wrong time. . Maybe you'll come back...maybe you won't but please know you had my heart like no others. I felt that in my soul.  I felt it when I looked at you. When I thought about you. When i talked about you. When I looked in your eyes. When you smiled or laughed. When you were doing whatever and I was just staring at you. With every kiss. Every moment in your arms. When you were sleeping so peacefully.  When you were being you, I felt like i was home and I cant tell you the last time i felt that way. It was when my grandma was alive. So to find someone who was even close to feeling like home is a serious misfortune to lose like this. And losing you and this relationship will be a grieving process for me. I had to lose the one thing that brought me happiness, wholeness and love. So I'm heartbroken it has come to this because of my actions. But I love you Bee. Please take care of yourself.

THE POSITIVE & NEGATIVE; Mun & Muse - Meme.

fill out & repost ♥ This meme definitely favors canons more, but I hope OC’s still can make it somehow work with their own lore, and lil’ fandom of friends & mutuals. Multi-Muses pick the muse you are the most invested in atm.

My muse is:   canon / oc / au / canon-divergent / fandomless /

Is your character popular in the fandom?  YES / NO.

Is your character considered hot™ in the fandom?  YES / NO / IDK.

Is your character considered strong in the fandom?  YES / NO / IDK.

Are they underrated?  YES / NO.

Were they relevant for the main story?  YES / NO.

Were they relevant for the main character?  YES (in the sense that she punched him in the face so that counts right) / NO / THEY’RE THE PROTAG.

Are they widely known in their world?  YES / NO.

How’s their reputation?  GOOD / BAD / NEUTRAL.

How strictly do you follow canon?  — I follow it for major plot points but uhhh Meninas has literally like 20 pages of screentime and her only defining traits are “mean, powerful, likes nice things” so that leaves me a lot of leg room to fuck stuff up. That said, I diverged from what scraps I was given because it’s my city now, Kubo.

SELL YOUR MUSE! Aka try to list everything, which makes your muse interesting in your opinion to make them spicy for your mutuals.  —  I mean she’s a hot buff lady and if you’re down for a narrative based in self worth, the social expectations of femininity, and like beauty & the beast but its just one person.......... Meninas is right here....... also if you like characters who aren’t as they appear on the surface.... and heaven/hell motifs.......... and being trapped in a cycle of trauma.......... i got it all

Now the OPPOSITE, list everything why your muse could not be so interesting (even if you may not agree, what does the fandom perhaps think?).  —  She’s selfish, ruthless to the point of self destruction, cruel, and cold. She holds onto her resentment and unwittingly traps herself in a cycle of violence because she can’t shake this obviously incorrect belief that her worth depends on that cycle (because without it, what is she?). Her entire identity is shaped and pushed onward by violence and hatred, and she thrives in that pit of anger when on some level she is aware that she doesn’t have to.

What inspired you to rp your muse?  —  Literally it’s originally because I thought she was super cute- but that was when I started to write her after she made her first appearance in the manga. That said, I’ve written her on and off over the years, but this blog is the first time I’ve actually put this much thought and planning into what I wanted to do with her.

What keeps your inspiration going?  —  I’ve mentioned this before, but I am 100% confident I’m the only person on the planet who cares about Meninas to this extent, and I’m really proud of the original content I’ve created for her even if it doesn’t quite match what popular fanon interpretation is for the few who do pay attention to this character. It’s been fun to take the basic traits Kubo gave us for Meninas and to write my own intent behind them. I feel in that way, I can be faithful to canon, but also tell my own story. Honestly, the overwhelming amount of positive response to my portrayal is also what keeps my inspiration going- I’m shocked how much y’all enjoy the story I have to tell. Really excited to share more, esp with how much I’ve got planned with the lot of you!

Some more personal questions for the mun.

Give your mutuals some insight about the way you are in some matters, which could lead them to get more comfortable with you or perhaps not.

Do you think you give your character justice?  YES / NO.

Do you frequently write headcanons?  YES / NO.

Do you sometimes write drabbles?  YES / NO. (They’re in my drafts to be shared... after Certain Plot Events happen)

Do you think a lot about your Muse during the day?  YES / NO.

Are you confident in your portrayal?   YES / NO.

Are you confident in your writing?  YES / NO.

Are you a sensitive person?  YES / NO. (This is kind of a broad question and it really depends on the situation... I would say generally yes, but I’m also good at handling negativity so???)

Do you accept criticism well about your portrayal?  —  Yes, but I prefer it to be constructive. Criticism is kind of useless to me if some sort of alternative isn’t offered to help me improve.

Do you like questions, which help you explore your character?  —  YES! Especially since often times questions will come out of left field and I get to consider things I’ve never considered before!

If someone disagrees to a headcanon of yours, do you want to know why?  —  I... gotta be honest, no. Unless it’s for some seriously offensive mistake that I’ve made, it doesn’t matter to me.

If someone disagrees with your portrayal, how would you take it?  —  I’m well aware that I’m writing Meninas in a way that isn’t the obvious intent of canon, but it’s not directly contradicting canon either, so I wouldn’t be surprised if my portrayal was disagreed with. That said, I wouldn’t care lol (unless, like I said, I was doing something seriously offensive or upsetting). MY CITY NOW!

If someone really hates your character, how do you take it?  —  I would be surprised that there’s someone who would feel so negatively about a character like Meninas who... doesn’t really do anything in canon, but go off I guess! I don’t care.

Are you okay with people pointing out your grammatical errors?  —  Yeah I don’t mind. Most of my errors come from when I get too excited to post a reply and I don’t triple-check anyways.

Do you think you are easy going as a mun?   —  Well I sure hope so!! But I’m also acutely aware that I can come off as severe and intimidating (for some reason I’ve yet to figure out lmao) sometimes. I’m a pretty strongly opinionated person and I stand by my convictions, but I try to convey my feelings clearly without stepping on any toes. This makes me sound not easygoing at all LMAO.

That’s about it, congrats for filling out!

Tagged by: i cant remember idek if i was tagged in this i just wanted to do it

-slides into your dms- tell me about your vessel ocs!!!! Whose your favorite. Everyone has a favorite even if they don't like to admit it! And is it ok if I draw them interacting with my vessel ocs?

HHfngfh gh i’m,,, thank you for this ask i’m dying,, i will absolutely go off if you dont mind me taking this chance!! ft doodles!! because i can!! and you absolutely can draw them with yours i will probably cry and definitely draw interactions back udfkfhvdf;;

some of this i may have mentioned in other posts but i cant for the life of me keep track of what ive put here compared to the discord so! i’m just going to fact dump! and put under a cut so i don’t completely fill peoples’ dashes shkfd

first is gonna be spindle since. i love them. theyre probably my favourite. and also the first i made. theyre just babie

they really are just babey,,

kind of accidentally an endless source of lifeblood which is a long story but its not.. very fun. to be constantly covered in plants. by adulthood most of their torso and one of their limbs is almost completely replaced/encased in plant matter

they take this pretty well actually. even if it gets a lot harder to move

for a vessel they grew up to full size much quicker than others of their kind, likely due to the lifeblood’s properties, but really nobody has much of a clue. didnt have time to get used to their size and still has VERY bad spatial awareness

broke their horn tip by smacking it on a low ceiling hkfdnfbdmvdf

plants bursting out of their shell and eye have pretty badly damaged it, and they can’t see out of the broken eye

theyre trying their hardest!! always!! they can’t move around very well and sometimes get lonely sitting at home in dirtmouth but they’re friendly to just about anybody and have so much love to give

seriously they dont even eat but they like to make sure they have food and drink at home in case anyone drops in and needs it

they’ve never been able to fight, and shy away from violence or combat in all forms

very scared of the dark and carries a lantern with them at all times, usually around their neck

discharges excess lifeblood into soil and grows a garden from it - keeps it from overtaking their body any further, and it’s something to do

not the best at communicating since a wood arm makes signing stiff and tricky, but they’re not much of a talker (signer?) anyway

then we have scratch n thimble who are kinda twins but not really. yeah those are matching scarves they are Bros (sibs??)

scratch FIGHTS THINGS and USES A REAL BIG NAIL

the biggest of all my vessel ocs, just in general. a big and strong friend

made it to the palace but got tossed for starting to care too much and takin a blow for another sibling. saved thimble from dying down there too and they were absolutely inseparable since

really just the embodiment of the ‘you befriended x! x would now die for you’ meme not gonna lie

has almost literally died for Multiple siblings n friends before but they wouldn’t let them. which is, a good thing

too reckless for their own good especially in their younger years but thankfully mellows out quite a bit by adulthood

tries to keep up a strong stoic front but also doesnt hesitate to abandon it if needed. theyre big soft really (they wont admit it tho)

has The Biggest soft spot for kids do not let them tell you otherwise

fought for the sake of it in the colosseum for many years before Stuff And Things involving yet another vessel happened and they kinda trashed the place and never went back

their nail is about as big and heavy as their entire body and they’re surprisingly good at using it for something so unwieldy. could probably crush most bugs just by virtue of it being So Damn Big

spends a lot of time when grown at the howling cliffs keeping an eye on those travelling into the kingdom, and deterring those with malicious intent

they got that eye wound from their sibling… it was technically an accident. they still don’t talk about it though

contrary to their twin thimble is the smallest vessel (as a babby at least - they do end up standing taller than spin and ruth when fully grown)

they have the very unfortunate problem of their shade having fused with void tendrils from the abyss sea as a babby

as such their shade is very violent and kinda has a habit of literally bursting out their shell and lashing out at anything around them under stress

eventually they get a handle on it and learn to control the literally overflowing void inside them but until then their entire life is pretty much a big clusterfuck of trying not to kill people, which they hate

they’re very timid and shy and cling to familiar figures (especially scratch) probably too much, but strike out on their own much more growing up 

theyre very strong and capable, moreso than most magic users, but you wouldn’t guess it. the only time they’d even consider showing it is in another’s defense

uses void tendrils like extra limbs. very functional! can hold many things (or offer many hugs) at once. may be slightly slimy though.

their cloak is very long and would probably benefit from being trimmed shorter but they absolutely refuse to let anyone touch it. its kinda grimy at this point and they trip a lot but don’t do anything about it

friends with a bunch of mossflies they picked up in the gardens! they all have names

can communicate with other void-creatures by sharing some of their own void! this was discovered entirely by accident but very useful, if awkward to explain

sure they’re kinda timid and like being on their lonesome, but they’re also very level-headed and friendly, and get along very well with low-energy quieter sorts of people especially

ruth is a small vessel rn/as far as i’ve worked out a timeline for! i know what they look like big but as far as the content on this blog currently goes theyre just .. smal

actual infant. hadnt actually been wandering out of the abyss that long before being dragged up to the colosseum to fight for sport

really doesnt have much of a clue how to act at first, other than ‘stab things before they stab you’

their name comes from ‘ruthless’, a nickname they got in the colosseum because they literally did not (appear to) give two shits whether they lived or died in battle. they’d just come back, anyway

scratch was the one that found them flinging a nail around and immediately went ‘oh thats a baby. this is bad, actually’

for the first short while of freedom scratch is the only one they’ll let even get close to them, and pretty much clings to them relentlessly. not a moments rest

they were actually pretty badly infected by the time they were broken out but theyre better now (another long story)

doesn’t have a natural cloak - it was ripped out and never grew back in. they make do though! their ‘new’ one was made from part of scratch’s that they ripped off and fixed together. they love it more than anything

once they actually figured out not everyone was out to kill them they stopped fighting back, and became a lot more curious and lively in general

still has a very warped and guarded sense of trust, however

kinda iffy around weapons and reacts badly to confrontation but does eventually learn to fight again (just.. in a better way)

pretty short even when grown, and going by height alone is the shortest when they’re all big

likes picking up pretty trinkets and things and carrying them around. has a few tied to their horns (as well as many pockets)

i have just now decided that spite counts as well! they dont actually survive to adulthood in any timeline i have currently (sorry spite) so big spite is entirely a theoretical but theyre fun to draw so

now spite? spite wins the babiest baby award

has one single braincell that bounces around their shell like a windows screensaver

their name indicates they are capable of feeling any negative emotion or hatred which is entirely untrue. by the time this was figured out they already wouldn’t answer to anything else

absolutely no sense of self-preservation or common sense. they are, in most regards, a very cute and very stupid dog

got lost on their way out of the abyss the first time around, ended up in the lighthouse and met friend mori!! was almost caught but eventually smuggled out and away

spent a lot of the time on the run in city of tears with said friend who was pretty much presumed dead by then. got taken in by a family, enjoyed themselves for a while

…but were eventually caught and thrown right back into the abyss along with mori killing them both for real this time. unfortunately.

cut to MANY years later and oops! their shade fused with the corpse and for some ungodly reason theyre both alive. time for the worst buddy comedy ever ft. literal pile of goop and body parts

spite does not seem to know nor care that theyre dead however

mostly happy to sit up there on mori’s shell and nap for hours at a time or fiddle with literally anything in reach. give them a cool rock and they’ll be entertained for hours. they are but a simple creacher

they do actually eventually learn to use a nail but who’s idea was it to give a child a sword. seriously i just wanna talk

All the ones you didn't do in the last ask!

So I’m finally getting around to doing this. and you fUCKING HATE ME. This is gonna be hella long.  (she asked for all of them)

This is for the WaterColor asks that I posted last night

Zinc White: how are you really feeling today? I’m very tired tbh like all i wanna do today is sleep rn. very tired

Cadmium Yellow: When you think of the word “happy” what's the first thing that comes to mind? ummmmm probably my boyfriend and the very funny moments you and i share

Lemon: What’s your comfort food? Ben and Jerry’s Brownie Batter Core Ice cream. that shit makes me feel better immediately

Hansa Yellow: What’s your guilty pleasure song? honestly idk, but i will tell you the song that I cant get enough of and its All Time Low by Jon Bellion. like i honestly cant get enough of it rn

Yellow Ochre: Name an artist/band whom you just discovered and cant get enough of. right now its the song that I just said in the last ask. but the band? shit ummmmmm, idk but i’ve been listening to anything in my liked playlist from spotify. so it varies

Naples Yellow: where do you feel most at home? uh, i dont really know. I moved to Idaho so i haven’t figured that most yet

Raw Sienna: with whom do you feel most at home? my boyfriend. I miss him so much and I honestly cant wait till i see him next

Golden Ochre: describe the relationship with your closest friend. JESS *insert random thing that im currently screaming about*

Golden Deep: what’s your favorite season? fall, i can wear converse and hoodies and be comfortable

Cadmiun orange: What do you like to do on your days off? i love to do things that have to get done. like today, i did more homework than i thought i was gonna do and cleaned my bathroom. it’s been a good day.

Orange lake: do you have anyone you can turn to when you’re sad? I listen to music and not do my homework, just focus on me

Titans: do you prefer slow mornings or relaxing evenings? tbh i think i prefer slow mornings cause im not a morning person so that gives me time to sleep in

Shaknazaryan Red: are you currently binge watching anything? CRIMINAL MINDS

red ochre; are you more right-brained (creative) or left-brained (analytical)? i think i’m a bit of both

burnt sienna; is there a painting that brings you peace when you look at it? not really theres a picture i really like tho. here’s the link! https://www.pinterest.com/pin/46865652355803785/

english red; what animal do you relate to most? honestly, a raven

vermilion; what’s your favorite accent? british, like tom holland and tom hiddleston british

cadmium red; do you have a “type” when it comes to a significant other? ....jess you know. but for those of you who don’t know, its the bad boy type... seriously, bucky barnes, loki, and according to jess its the dark-haired, chiseled features, built af, don’t worry, she made a point, like all the famous people im attracted to... all contain the same things that my boyfriend contains. my boyfriend is dark haired, chiseled features, thicc 

scarlet; describe your current crush/es. DARK HAIR, CHISELED FEATURES, BAD BOY TYPE BOYFRIEND

ruby; what does your ideal first date look like? honestly, i dont have one

carmine; what does your ideal second date look like? dont have one

madder lake red; would you ever kiss someone (or accept a kiss) on a first date? considering i kissed my boyfriend within the first hour of meeting him, sure

rose; what’s something really positive going on in your life right now? im actually keeping up with school rn and im fairly proud of myself

quinacridone rose; what’s something you’re really looking forward to? sleep

violet rose; what does your dream house look like? windows. so many windows big kitchen, comfortable

violet; is there any place in particular you’d like to settle down? not really, i’d settle down anywhere as long as im with the man i love

blue lake; what would you like to do/accomplish before you settle down? traveling

cobalt blue spectral; what is the most beautiful place you have ever been to? honestly, i havent been there yet

ultramarine; when was the last time you were in a good mood? do you know/remember what sparked it? ummmm, im kinda always in a good mood?

blue; what’s the most recent dream you remember? [redacted] [redacted] [redeacted] [redacted] [redacted]

bright blue; what does your dream family look like? any kids or pets? how many of each? 2 or 3 kids, 2 dogs and hopefully a cat. married to my boyfriend

blue cobalt; do you like your name? would you give yourself a different name if you could? NO it’s too common, its why i prefer people call me meg or megs. i hate my name.

prussian azure; what’s your favorite scent? vanilla

azure blue; what’s your favorite type of tea, if any? lipton pure leaf raspberry tea, and it has to be cold

turquoise blue; if you could start a garden, what would you plant? literally anything that i could water every once in a while and it still be alive

cerulean blue; if you were guaranteed to have a viewership, would you start a youtube vlog? no, my life is really boring

glauconite; describe your body without using any negative adjectives. curves, well built, purple red hair. honestly, im super comfortable with my body

yellow green; picture yourself walking in a field. what do you see & hear in this scenario? ya know that scene in vampire dairies when Damon is comforting Rose as she’s dying? yea it looks like that

green light; are you in a comfortable place in life? if not, what do you think might make it better? im pretty comfortable with it, just wish my boyfriend was with me

green; name three countries you want to visit; do you have any actual plans in place to visit any of them? ready? you’re gonna laugh jess, Romania, Ireland, England

emerald green; do you speak any languages besides english? are there any additional languages you want to learn? so my mom is from Chile, and she’s native in spanish, but im native in english and cant speak a lick of spanish, but i have been doing the duolingo spanish lessons and its like my latina side has woken up, but i cant speak spanish, i can read it and hear it and probably translate it for you

oxide of chromium; what’s your favorite book? Stalking Jack The Ripper by Kerri Maniscalco

olive green; are you currently reading anything? how do you like it so far? no, im too busy with school and work that i dont have time to read anything and its making me sad. but i always have a book in my backpack just incase

mars brown; what’s a movie that always puts a smile on your face/makes you laugh? the first Avengers

burnt umber; what’s something you plan to do before the day is over to take care of yourself? clean my fucking greasy ass face

umber; have you drank enough water today? nope, thank you for reminding me tho

voronezhskaya black; what or who is your go-to outlet for when you need to vent? you, cause you always provide the best advice and make me feel like my emotions matter to you too

sepia; name five things that always make you happy. Superheroes, music, my boyfriend, my friends, and books, etc

indigo; what’s the best/sweetest compliment you have ever received? today, i was sitting in my car ordering my drink from dutch bros and someone told me that they liked my hair even tho he couldnt really see the color of it. But i get a lot of compliments from my boyfriend about my eyes

payne’s gray; describe your aesthetic? shit, uhhhh, superhero murderer? 

black; post a selfie because you are so beautiful! I’m gonna share with you the one that has my boyfriend going crazy