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thenightling · 1 year

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Monster High Live action movie

I thought this year’s Oscars were boring so I decided to watch the live-action Monster High musical movie from this past October. I’m writing this while watching so you’re going to be reading my thoughts as I watch in a stream of consciousness. I can tell the movie was created with the G3 dolls in mind as it uses the idea of Clawdeen being “half-human” which doesn’t make sense with werewolves. You either are a werewolf or you’re not... They should have made Draculaura the half-human. Dhampirs (half-human / half-vampire off-spring) are a thing in folklore. They should have just had it like the Harry Potter stories where there’s bigotry against half-bloods and mud-bloods.

Honestly, it’s kind of nostalgic. It reminds me of some of the stuff they made for teens in the 90s. I feel a little weird being forty-one and watching “Monster HIgh” but my childhood love of monsters wished this existed when I was a kid.

I actually think the music in this is better than Disney’s Descendants (which isn’t saying much because I find the music in those annoying). Dracula is funny. As he’s dropping off Draculaura “Remember, I was top of my class. And my father, his father, and his father were all top of their class here.” Draculaura: “I get it, Dad. There’s no pressure.” Dracula: “Yes, there is pressure. They’re all still undead and they call me!” The CG is pretty terrible. And I keep having to try to force myself to forget the movie is to sell a line of monster dolls. I think I got a little spoilt by Wednesday (Addams) because they made a better Monster High than Monster High. I do think I like the music though. Okay, I do NOT like the idea of Dracula thinking of the use of magick as an abomination and “human practice.” Whoever wrote that into the story clearly never read the Dracula novel. In Bram Stoker’s novel Dracula had attended Scholomance, which literally means “School of Magick.” A monster school being anti-witchcraft is incredibly stupid to me. I also love that Frankie is now nonbinary. Having one of the monsters go by they / them is a good update. And because they are the child of the Frankenstein monster you can easily side-step the fanatical, conservative, backlash by reminding the potential complainers that this character IS made of the parts of several dead people. An alternate reason to be they / them. The school is a boarding school like it was in G2, which had its own movie, but it was a CG animated movie called “Welcome to Monster High.” I guess each new generation / wave / line of the dolls gets its own tie-in movie. But this one has the Headless Mistress from the original line of the dolls, instead of Dracula running the school. Again, I feel spoilt by the Wednesday (Addams) series. It actually did this better.

I guess this version of Draculaura isn’t a vegan (like she was in the first line of the dolls). As they show her getting jellied newts from the vending machine. I do like the idea that the school, itself, is alive. I like that Frankie is the sweet nerd in this. But I sort of miss Ghoulia fitting that role. And it’s weird hearing Ghoulia talk instead of just groaning like a zombie.

Also I just realized I’ve been spelling Clawdeen’s name wrong. It’s Clawdeen, not Clawdine. I’m correcting it now but I won’t retroactively correct old posts about the doll line. I do love the Crypt Keeper-esque horror puns clearly “borrowed” from Tales from the Crypt and House of Mystery. This is clearly written by people of my age or older because there are so many not-so-subtle jokes about how many kids “only communicate through their phones.” The 2010 version of the dolls (and web series) didn’t behave like that.

There’s a lot of painfully bad green screen.

Hey the Mr. Hyde song steals the beat from “We Will Rock you.” Shame on you, Monster High live action movie for thinking I wouldn’t notice you sampled from Queen (before the song changes).

Based on the Hyde scene, I guess Jackson Jekyll isn’t in this version of Monster High. Oh, wait... That teacher with the horns... is HE Jekyll in disguise? Yeah, I’m dumb... That’s obviously him... Ghoulia groans and moans when she’s woken up in the cemetery but it’s not the same as when she only spoke “Zombie language.” Where did they get the whole “vampires at war with witches” thing? Vampire Diaries? Discovery of Witches? It works in that lore but not with Dracula. Pretty much every version of Dracula knows at least a little magick.

I like Draculaura practicing magick but having it as forbidden and hated by Dracula is stupid to me.

Okay... Dracula and Draculaura communicate via enchanted portraits... Umm... that’s witchcraft. But Dracula is anti-witchcraft. Cognitive Dissonance. Too bad this thing isn’t deep enough to notice. Yet again, I am sorry to say I think Wednesday (Addams) does Monster High better than Monster High.

Okay, I just finished watching and... it was cute. I had a little trouble getting past the whole “vampires hate magick” thing but at least they made Dracula a character and most of the hamfisted bigotry allegories were resolved by the end. The music was actually decent and some of it catchy. I like “Coming out of the Dark.” it reminds me of the original Monster High Theme song,

Actually I was a little surprised they didn’t do a cover of the 2010 Monster High: Fright Song (the original theme song for Monster High).

I found the original song on youtube just now but I actually had to put “Monster High 2010 song” in the search because it was buried under all the songs from the live action movie. It was cute and a little shallow but still sweet for a movie based on a doll line and again, I’m glad they let Dracula actually be a character in it and not just off-handedly mentioned like he was in the first generation of the doll line and web series. And they didn’t make him so much like Hotel Transylvania’s Dracula like they did in the second generation of the dolls and CG animated movies. This version of Dracula felt like he stepped out of the comedy What we do in the Shadows, which I love.

I still think Wednesday Addams is handling this premise better though.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nGawAhRjtoA

#Monster High

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joeys-piano · 2 years

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Fic Author Self-Recommendations

Tagged by @voxofthevoid (thanks for this, it's been wild going through memory lane, trying to narrow what's my favorite thing and the thing I'm always coming back to)

When you get this, reply with your favourite five fics that you’ve written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love.

(ordered from oldest to youngest, if you want to see how my writing progressed since 2020 to now)

Savor The Moment | slight Odazai

This is an ambitious character study, featuring my favorite BSD character, Odasaku. It's a long, stream of consciousness-esque fic as you follow him for one evening and meet the people who've had a positive impact on his life. This is a love letter, simple as that. This is a tribute to a character I resonate with, to a character I want to see more of, and one I'm heartbroken for because he had so much ahead of him -- yet life isn't fair.

This might be the closest thing to a literary fanfic that I've written.

A Light in the Attic | Tomarry

394 words. Yet so much emotion, heartfelt, and comfort between the lines. This is a story I'm often rereading because it feels like a hug, and it's everything a cuddle fic could ever give you when you need something.

I'll Think of You | Tomarry

This is the contemporary school romance, falling for your best friend and knowing a side of them no one else does. It's heartwarming, it's sweet, and it's one of my favorite Harry POV fics I've written.

It's just the story of realizing you're in love with your best friend and how platonic and romantic love color your experiences. And to this day, I'm still surprised I'm the writer for this story. It's just a sweet fic with an unreliable narrator and how laughter's been the thread in Tom and Harry's relationship. How laughter's what brought them closer together and it's just -- it's so cute.

For Him to Watch | Tomarry

I wrote this when I was in New York for an audit during my internship. It was July 2021. The summer olympics was happening. I would shuffle to my hotel room at almost midnight, exhausted. And I'd open my work laptop, click around for my story document, and I'd write a few sentences because that was the only time I had for myself. The only reason this story exists is because of the powerful emotions I was feeling at the time, me giving it a second chance when I thought it was pretty shit, and just letting myself be loose and write what I want to do.

Also, a past-coworker has read this story. So there's a lot of things I feel about this work.

His Violent Delight | Grimmichi

Stream of Consciousness + 2nd POV + Denial of Feelings + Feral Energy = Very Memorable, Exciting, I remember the neck pain I was in while working on this fic. And I leveled up as a writer -- this was the first time I was aware of it.

My writing style changed, and it's been wild seeing it grow. It's also really nice to write for a batshit, crazy, what the fuckery narrator. I've written for posh intellectuals for years; it's rewarding to write for a character who doesn't give a crap. Which I'm forever thankful because Grimmjow's a violent delight.

-----

Writers I'll love to hear from, if they're interested in playing along: @duplicitywrites , @amarillis39 , @bowties-are-cool3000 , @flowercrown-bard , @lucycamui , @feu-eau , @yume-mada , @m3kuroshirt , @dividawrites , and @isalisewrites

#Joey Speaks #fanfic writer #fanfic writing #fanfiction recommendation

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kristen-chin · 5 months

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Got the chance to check out some manuscript info on Exalted’s new concept for Abyssal Exalts (demigods sworn to underworld entities to usher in the death-pocalyse)

It was very interesting and now I would like to present some stream of consciousness thoughts on funny abyssal exalt concepts

None of these are canonical or in some cases on theme tbh (I think Exalted’s schtick with abyssals is very ‘dark majesty of undeath’ esque, and I enjoy that but tend to make more eccentric characters) but I wanted to write them up and think Tumblr is the best place to put them

(Note: abyssal exalts don’t have names, they were given up to the dark powers, they have dramatic titles instead)

Onto Concept 1: Herald of the Primordial Sea

An abyssal exalt’s general schtick is to bring despair and ruin to Creation. Percy Shelley’s Ozymandias poem is about how nothing empires and kings make will survive the ages.

While many ancient civilisations look back upon the fallen crumbling ruins of their predecessors, this herald feels that to really convey utter despair at the fragilities of life, you need to look at prehistoric marine extinctions.

Empires rise and fall, kingdoms fade to dust, but all pale before the long forgotten eons when the world was ruled mostly by large shrimp. (The fact that spectral marine megafauna are both easier to herd into doing things and also their special interest has nothing to do with their new name, nothing at all)

Also, despite the inherent comedy in having to deliver ominous portents via Opabinia, colossal walls of water can do a lot to get a person contemplating the end of all things.

Concept 2: Eminent Caller of the Danse Macabre

If the world is to come to an end, why not throw it a goodbye party - fill it full of dancing and gaiety as all come to rest as equals at the end of time.

The Caller enjoys dancing a whole lot - but their main role is to shepherd dancers through the steps of each routine (with necromancy), organise logistics (with necromancy), and prepare the dance hall (with necromancy) - they’re swamped with duties and would love to pass on some of the more onerous tasks, but it’s their passion project.

More concepts forthcoming as I think of them.

#exalted #tabletop games #ramblings

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samismusicjournal · 1 year

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Lana Del Rey’s “Tunnel Under Ocean Blvd”

1. The Grants

I love how Lana is already using her true vocal potential. She’s not holding back like she does when she’s singing more stylisticly. I love the almost country John Denver-esque refrain this song has.

2. Did you know that there’s a tunnel under Ocean Blvd

This is such a sad sentiment. To me and according to some research I did, she is worrying about being thrown away and discarded like the tunnel under Ocean Blvd, which is a real tunnel actually. It’s called the Jergins Tunnel. This is a really beautiful song though. I had already heard it when it came out and I was not very into it when I first heard it. Now I seem to be in a more receptive mood since the whole album is out and the songs are in context.

3. Sweet

I feel like I just got to heaven and all my dead relatives are greeting me. The song sounds so airy and cloud-like.

4. A&W

I have had a real hot affair with this song, which is funny because the title fits so well *wink wink*. I listened to it maybe a day after it came out, and immediately I thought, “There’s something really cool about this song and I don’t know how to explain it.” It’s a good mix of an acoustic, moody track to a song you can’t help but nod your head to while you listen to it in the car. It goes from ballad to banger. I read online that this song can be described as a rant track, and I would agree with that but in the best way.

5. Judah Smith Interlude

Didn’t make a ton of sense to me why this song was there unless it was just a sermon that particularly resonated with Lana. Based on what I’ve read, this preacher that the song name and sermon are taken from, has some shitty beliefs, so I’m not sure how I feel about her giving him a platform unless Lana agrees with him. Maybe I’m reading too much into it, but it just didn’t sit right with me while I listened to it, and I listened to ALL of it.

6. Candy Necklace (feat. Jon Batiste)

There’s something nightmarish and haunting about this song. Maybe it’s the fact that a candy necklace seems like such an innocent thing, yet in this song it’s an abusive relationship that she just can’t seem to bring herself out of. She’s addicted to his “candy necklaces.” I personally think candy necklace could be an allegory to hickeys, but it also means his “love”. Spooky song.

7. Jon Batiste Interlude

Immediately I love the chord progression. It’s one of those progressions that I could listen to by itself for a really long time and not get bored. I would love to see this, what appears to be a brainstorm track, realized into a fully-produced track. It has fantastic potential.

8. Kintsugi

Maybe this is a song that will resonate with me in five years after everyone’s forgotten about it. That seems to happen to me a lot more often than you think. I just don’t really feel anything towards it yet. It’s not a bad song, I just feel neutral towards it.

9. Fingertips

I admire that this song doesn’t follow a traditional structure. It’s a very sad look into Lana’s innermost thoughts. It very much feels like a stream of consciousness which can make it harder to follow, but overall I think I can understand what’s being said.

10. Paris, Texas (feat. SYML)

Immediately, there’s something very whimsical about this song. It’s one of those pieces that I imagine someone using a spinning wheel to. I love the 3/4 time too, I think it adds to the whimsicality of the song. It’s a good piece about moving on almost with a nomadic feel to it. Added it to my witchy playlist.

11. Grandfather please stand on the shoulders of my father while he’s deep-sea fishing (feat. RIOPY)

This almost feels like a piece from a prog-rock opera, if such a thing exists. I also love the spiritual implications with the “3 white butterflies to know you’re near.” My mom always looks at butterflies as signs from spirits, and while I don’t know if every butterfly is a sign, I believe that some of them are when they’re in the right scenario, so this song resonates with me in that way.

12. Let the Light In (feat. Father John Misty)

“Flirtatious” is the word that first came to mind when I heard this song. The instrumentation is so flowy, it reminds me of the beach in a way. To me, this song depicts a relationship with its good parts and the negative parts. There are some parts that are very risque and very trademark for Lana, like the line, “You know I got nothin’ under this overcoat.” It’s cool to see a woman embracing sexuality and not being ashamed of it.

13. Margaret (feat. Bleachers)

This is such a sweet song, and the context in which it was written makes it even sweeter. It was written about Bleachers’ fiancee, and he wanted it to be played at their wedding. I don’t know why, but this elicited such an emotional reaction for me. I think maybe because it’s really about finding your soulmate, and that’s what everybody wants. This is one of my favorites from the album for sure.

14. Fishtail

This is a good heartbreak song. And I like that it strays from the more acoustic sound we’ve heard for most of the album. It’s a good middle finger to someone who’s trying to bring you down and butter you up at the same time, i.e. braiding your hair and wanting you to be sadder.

15. Peppers (feat. Tommy Genesis)

This is just a fun, feel-good song that feels like it’s all about freedom and not giving a shit. Not quite as compelling as A&W, but I can appreciate it.

16. Taco Truck x VB

I love the instrumentation in the Taco Truck portion of the song. And the vocals are really alluring too. And then it goes into an alternate version of Venice Bitch (hence “VB”) which is from one of my favorite Lana Albums, Norman Fucking Rockwell! which was part of the soundtrack to my freshman year of college admittedly.

Final Thoughts

This album is absolutely a success for Lana. I know a lot of people haven’t been as happy with some of her more recent albums like Blue Banisters and Chemtrails Over the Country Club because they lack Lana’s moody, romantic sound that her original albums had. However, I think she’s circled back to that vibe in Ocean Blvd while also exploring the acoustic ballad side of her abilities. Lana’s vocals really break through in this album, but they also harken back to her older style. This is especially seen in songs like Candy Necklace, where her voice almost sounds resigned and hopeless. Her more feminine, fluttery vocals come through in songs like the John Batiste Interlude and Ocean Blvd. I’ll definitely be listening to this album for a while. All the songs have something great to offer, whether it’s expertly-crafted instrumentals, powerful vocals, or a deep story. It’s good to have some new Lana work in my life again.

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lieblingbitte · 2 years

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karaoke w the bloomic LI's (+ onion + 2two)

pairing: bloomic boys headcanons, theres no reader character in this but U can Like... Imagine ur there prompt: hcs about doing karaoke with the boys! :D tags: headcanons, foul language, alcohol mention(s), no pronouns or gender-specific language, fluff!!!, not proofread bc this was very stream of consciousness in my notes app

enjoy!!!! :DDD

XYX song: Never Gonna Give You Up - Rick Astley

only sings funnyman songs

eg: all star, country roads, the pokemon intro...

does NOT take it seriously AT ALL

the first song he sings is a rickroll (obviously)

but annoyingly is not a bad singer

(because he's good at everything apparently...)

(he goofs around but his voice really suits those like frank sinatra, johnny cash esque songs...)

enjoys himself A Lot he likes listening and making fun of everyone's song choices

has the most fun singing together w everyone! (you did wannabe by the spice girls one time and he swears those were the best three minutes of his life)

NAKED TOASTER

song: Dancing Queen - Abba

VERY shy about it

doesn't wanna sing at all at first but xyx forces encourages him to (and he has a bit to drink)

when he does end up singing he picks very classic karaoke songs so everyone can sing along!!!

(their face is FLUSHED afterwards but they did have fun)

not a bad singer per se but they struggle w melody and tone and stuff

(+ he doesn't sing seriously because he Is Embarrassed)

also the type to forget the lyrics (even if they're on the screen right in front of them)

prefers listening to the others sing and provide backup vocals/instrumental

the guy with the maracas/tambourine

NIGHTOWL

song: Gotta Go My Own Way - High School Musical

the Musical Theatre guy... Or like really trashy 2000s pop

sings duets by himself.......

the one that suggested you all do this LOL

hes suuuuper high energy.. hes having so much fun

his neighbours ring his doorbell like Seven times and ask him to Shut Up

(he does not)

bad singer and he owns it

(his charisma makes up for it)

puts on a whole performance, jumping around, using a hairbrush for a microphone and shit

QUEST

song: Take On Me - A-ha

this guy.. he sings old songs.... like queen maybe billy joel stuff like that

probably the best singer out of all of them .. but he doesn't take the compliment

loooves karaoke.. loves suggesting songs you all do loves listening.. Hes just a karaoke guy

he needs a couple of drinks to get out of his shell fully but then hes unstoppable

hypes everyone up SO much full on cheering and shit

likes singing romantic duets... ;-)

in general, he does like Ten Minute Long ballads but no one minds because hes a good singer... and hot guy privilege

ONIONTHIEF

song: Mr Brightside - The Killers

does NOT want to sing

but nightowl picked a song and now he HAS to.. tch

(embarrassed but he is a good singer... and hes probably cocky abt it...)

"Ugh, can I go now." when the song is done (doesn't go.) (doesn't want to go)

probably judging everyone's song choices ("Pff, nightowl. Britney Spears? Really?")

he literally listens to Like mcr and shit in secret But OK!!!! !!!!!!!!!!

("Their lyrics are poetic." OK emo boy.)

does end up having a little fun Maybe but hes being all tsundere abt it -__-

TWO2

song: I Kissed A Girl - Katy Perry

the music guy

not a singer but his mum probably made him go to choir or something so he can hold a tune

another hype man! loves singing with his friends! and loves telling them that!

picks songs from every category probably, like he will sing the beatles and avril lavigne right after

has fun no matter what... likes singing by himself, listening to the other, singing together.. he is just a little guy

knows Literally every song ever... I feel like he has super broad tastes

notes: had thoughts. me and friends did a little discord karaoke thing recently and i was like yeah this is cool but what if Blooming Panic LOve Interets. loads of thoughts abt the li's tastes in music btw send me an ask and i will talk about it more ;-)

#bloomic #blooming panic #nightowl #two2 #quest #xyx #nakedtoaster #onionthief #x reader #x you #x y/n #reader insert #headcanons #hcs #karaoke #toasty #onion

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mariaiscrafting · 3 years

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Thoughts on Wilbur Soot? I want a full-blown essay at least 10k words/j. All jokes aside, this is an amazing blog, I come to it every day to see if you've posted something new :]. Keep going forward OP, you're truly amazing.

That is so sweet 😢 (/gen)

I was really gonna write, “I dunno, I just think he’s a nice dude,” but then you asked for 10k words, so now Imma actually rant. Wilbur’s probably one of the first people who got me back into Minecraft, around 2019, and he was the first person I felt comfortable enough watching the Dream SMP vods from, back in November.

First of all, the guy’s fricking gorgeous, like, ???? I never see any simping for him on my dash, and I’m just like ??? I’m not very good at simping over people’s appearances myself, so all I will say is that he’s fricking beautiful, jfc.

Second of all, I’m a music nerd, okay, and I really fucking like his singing. Back then, I listened to his music covers so much that I learned the lyrics from songs I’d never even heard of before I started watching Wilbur, by heart. Lol it helps quite a bit that a good chunk of my musical taste is made up of Life is Strange-esque, shitty indie songs that fit right into the covers he made back when he first started streaming. I’ve listened to YCGMA so many times that I have that same familiarity I have with songs I’ve listened to for literal years, knowing exactly what song comes next and when each measure ends and when the breaths are taken, etc., etc. He doesn’t have much finnesse when it comes to the technical qualities of his singing abilities, but he’s a damn good musician. His lyrical composition, chord progressions, little guitar riffs, emotion - ahhh, I just love Wilbur Soot’s music so much. I’m certain I’ll be listening to YCGMA in the middle of the night, when I need a good cry, for years to come lol.

Third of all, I really, really appreciate his openness about his mental health just, so much. He talks about his anxiety and getting depressed so candidly, he so easily lets his audience know about what kinda mental state he was in during uni and as a teenager and while he wrote YCGMA, and it makes me feel so normal. As dumb and cliched as it is to need a public figure to validate my own lived experiences, I do, and for someone like Wilbur Soot to succeed and be so talented, encouraging, empathetic, and socially active, despite losing motivation and energy at times, gives me a little bit of hope for myself.

Fourth of all, I mean, the guy’s fucking hilarious, are we forgetting this? People always talk about his talents music-wise and writing-wise, or how nice he seems to be, but they always gloss over his genuine comedic ability, and I ??? It takes so much to keep my attention these days, and Wilbur Soot’s videos are still some of the only ones that can manage that feat. He has undeniable chemistry with practically any CC he meets, his editing style is just *chef’s kiss*, and his laugh somehow makes even the most mundane of jokes seem fucking hilarious, it’s just such a delight to watch or listen to him do bits, man.

I left the best for last, lol. The main reason I fricking love Wilbur Soot is his political consciousness and the fact that his political beliefs align pretty well with my own. I’ve dealt with cishet, mostly white guys, both on and off the Internet, for so many damn years, and it’s exhausting. I am so tired of deconstructing myself and suppressing myself for the sake of social interaction, community-building, preventing ostracization, and being able to consume content without feeling enraged or hopeless. It is an exhausting endeavor to want to like and love all the gamers I’ve watched since middle school, and having to just push down and numb the parts of me that want to flinch at offhanded jokes and comments and exclusion from online spaces. Wilbur Soot is a whole other breed of CC. Lol uhhh, I guess he’s what most of the people in the social media circles I used to frequent would call, “a feminist cuck” and “self-hating white guy.” Which all really just means that he goes just beyond human decency. Don’t get me wrong, I do not by any means let white, cishet guys dictate my self-worth anymore, or even let them educate me; that’s what all the wonderful female and POC and queer CCs that I’ve discovered over the years are for. But there’s still something deeply satisfying about listening to this person who fits all the demographic checkboxes of the kinda person who used to make me feel so Other and Wrong, instead rant about how teenage girls can’t express their interests without being denigrated for them out of deeply-entrenched misogyny, or about how society needs to stop villanizing poor people and realize that government aid and social services do a great service for community betterment and are not just used by people supposedly leeching off the taxpayer’s dime. That’s not even to mention the fucking beautiful satire of the E-Girl Trilogy. I always wanted to rant about this, but I don’t know how exactly to put it into the proper words... Basically, as someone who has spent years and years retconning, observing, and caught in the midst of incels, conservatives, and just extremely depressed cishet men of all races, I am deeply familiar with all the resentment, anxiety, misogyny, homophobia, gender essentialism, and self-hatred that goes into creating the average 20-something man’s view on women, society, romance, friendships, and sex. The E-Girl Trilogy is fucking brilliant because it so accurately captures this cocktail of emotions and ideologies, creating a fucking perfect caricature of the average man who looks and is just like Wilbur Soot. The persona is so well-crafted that most listeners who aren’t familiar with Wilbur as a person, or his political views, actually believe these songs are genuine and empathize with the narrators, can you imagine? And the fact that, in the process, Wilbur himself realizes that all of it is a fucking joke, that the narrator’s views on his love interest are weird and creepy and not at all normal or correct, is what makes it genuine satire. He embodies something so perfectly, only to mock it in the process of showing off how much he can embody it... I love satire, but I fucking suck at writing or accurately embodying it, so I’ve always been so fucking jealous of and beyond impressed by the E-Girl Trilogy’s use of satire.

Lol this isn’t 10k words, but it was much longer than I fucking thought it’d be. Basically, I really like Wilbur Soot, and writing all of this made me realize just how much I missed watching his VODs and streams...

#mcyt #asks #wilbur soot #wilbur #Anonymous #phantom

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terminalchaos · 3 years

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Hi Hun!

I'm Chaz. Seeing as you've fortuitously ended up here, I'll give you a super speedy rundown on the most important/basic parts of me as a human person.

I'm a 23 year old living in Naarm (Melbourne) Australia. The past year has given me a really volatile relationship with nearly everything.

I use she/they pronouns and identify as non-binary. This is because I don't really believe humans are binary beings (I'm definitely not), and want to expand my horizons without a label. I find them a little restrictive, and don't love the commitment of having to choose one.

I love acting, Lorde, drag, axolotls, plants that are really hard to kill, surrealism, Joe Lycett, Noel Fielding, Trixie and/or Katya, and language learning (currently Japanese and Korean, so apparently I also love making my life really easy lol).

I don't love capitalism, meat, Tories, James Corden, the South African accent, Ricky Gervais, people calling ADHD "ADD" (it was changed in 1987!!!), and people who don't put the toilet seat down (both lids, please, gross).

I have a chronic skin condition named rosacea. It sucks. I'll probably (definitely) mention it more. It interacts with my ADHD and it's an absolute pain in the bum.

And finally, I was diagnosed with ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) at 22, and started on medication just before my 23rd birthday. I am predominantly inattentive, but can have some hyperactive symptoms. So far, I have been on Vyvanse (I call this my concentration meth) for around 4 months (I think, but the nature of the beast is that I can’t remember shit). It's been really, really weird. I went into lockdown thinking I was neurotypical, and emerged certified neurodivergent with an axolotl rescue.

I started this blog to help me document my journey with ADHD. I haven't blogged since the golden age of Tumblr, but wanted to give myself a small commitment to do each week which will be enjoyable, easily achievable, and feed into my terminal need to overshare online. Prepare for a Kerouac-esque stream of consciousness without the success, literary impact, and funky accents. And really, completely different content. :)

I figured a blog was a low-commitment way to cut my teeth with my writing while I take an intermission from my university course. It also provides me with my favourite type of social interaction: me oversharing and talking as much as I want with no interruptions. Thanks, lack of social awareness!

When I was diagnosed with ADHD, I thought that it was the end of a lot of struggle, and it was! In some ways. It was absolute blessing to finally know that I'm not a lost cause, and that medication can help (to an extent). But trying to reconcile these weird fragments of the person I never was, the person I didn't like, the person I want to be, and the person I actually am, has been the most frustrating thing I have ever had to do. I can finally begin to deal with everything, but the more I catch glimpses into life as people without ADHD have been experiencing it, the more it stings that I was struggling like this for 23 years. But it's like, fine guys!! Really!!!! I only cry when I think about it. :)

ADHD in AFAB people (assigned female at birth) can manifest in ways that means it often goes unnoticed by schools, parents, friends, pretty much everyone, including the ADHDer. We're often dismissed as ditzy, clumsy, lazy, stupid, absent minded, uncommitted, you know, all the great adjectives you really want to be associated with. When people mention ADHD, it's associated with young boys bouncing off the walls and disrupting class, sometimes being violent, sometimes just annoying. That sucks. Medical sexism (complete lack of research into how medical conditions affect people who aren't cis-male) has lead to ADHD being criminally underdiagnosed in people who don't fit this tiny box of criteria. This leads to a grieving period when you receive your diagnosis/start meds, for the life you could have lived, the things you could have achieved, the friendships you could have made and maintained, all the possibilities if it hadn't been for ADHD.

I want to help people understand what this condition is, why we do the things we do, what it's like to live with, and hopefully explain how you can help make the ADHDers around you feel a little less like a burden.

I will explain what ADHD is like to live with in depth in the very near future, but for now, I will leave you with a quick moment of sincerity: thank you so much for reading this far. It's not easy for me to do things like this, and I appreciate people taking the time to read my words: they're all I have at the moment.

Lots of love from lockdown, and remember to wear SPF. X

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codenamebooks · 3 years

Text

Marked Book Review

by P. C. and Kristin Cast

⭑ 1/2 | CW: cheating, blood, gore, (oral) sex, homophobia, slut shaming, body shaming, ableism, bulimia/anorexia shaming, incest, domestic abuse

Zoey Redbird is a high schooler in Tulsa, Oklahoma, just a few minutes away from the House of Night, a school for vampire fledging. This is where she goes after getting Marked one day after school right next to her best friend. Once at the school, she has to figure out mean girls, new friends, crushes, and a special ability she has, given to here by the vampire goddess herself.

From the first chapter, I knew this book was going to be predictable. The best friend’s conversation about the drunk boyfriend did a horrible job of foreshadowing that they cheated on her. This trend of bad hints carried on throughout the entire book. This has a lot to do with how fast paced the story was. Zoey got over being turned into a vampire in less than 48 hours and we get no explanation as to why she isn’t more freaked out. Or how she isn’t tired as all hell suddenly changing her daily time frame. No explanation. Then it got offensive in the same guise as Sloppy Firsts: offensive slurs used in a typical 2007-esque way. The writing in general was sadly childish, especially coming from a mother-daughter duo. They have zero respect for most other girls in this story. Every other thought of Zoey’s started with “Okay” then corrected an obviously exaggerated or sarcastic statement. It was almost stream of consciousness, which I hate.

The characters were incredibly and disgustingly stereotyped. Shaunee, the black friend being referred to “the African princess” made me so uncomfortable. It seemed as if they were trying to be too positive about her beautiful looks to not appear racist. Yet they did exactly that when they described Deino as “obviously mixed.” In attempt to make certain characters’ personality traits consistent they just made them repetitive and annoying.

One thing I can give credit to this book doing well is Native American representation, especially given the plot’s setting in Northern Oklahoma. I also enjoyed that the book was set somewhere (kind of) familiar in my home state. I really only read this because my sister gifted it to me many years ago and I figured I should give it a try. I should have read it in seventh grade when I got the first four in a box set because I most likely would have received it better. It was entertaining enough because there was a new plot twist all the time but I have no reason to continue the series.

If you enjoy young vampire stories, this is the book for you. If you like boarding school settings, you should read this book. If you like dramatic teen stories about friendships and love, this is the book for you.

#marked #p.c. cast #kristin cast #book review #the house of night #series #young adult #fantasy #vampires #paranormal #romance #fiction #supernatural #urban fantasy #paranormal romance #teen #book

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glittercracker · 4 years

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Kingkiller Crap

So, I’ve never really posted much here that involves my own thoughts. There are a number of reasons why, but whatever. I feel the need NOW to post some thoughts, and having no working independent blog (yet!) I suppose this is the place to dump them. PSA: none of this is about anime. None of this is frivolous or fun. TW for sexual abuse. You have been warned! So. I’ve been rereading the Kingkiller Chronicles. aka “Name of the Wind” and “The Wise Man’s Fear” and “That Other One That Shall Not Be Named.” This reread was, at the beginning, almost an afterthought. A way to keep my 13 yo happy on a 7 hour car ride. Except, he could not have cared less, and I got sucked back into the story (and okay, if that is how all our audiobook car rides go, meh? At least it keeps me sharp!) I raced through book one, and bought book 2 on audible with an eye to my upcoming surgery and recooperation. Book one was problematic in the places I remembered, but also as generally engaging as I remembered. And then book 2 happened, and surgery happened, and I have had weeks to lie in bed listening to this bloody interminable sequel, and I find myself lost in a morass of, “WTF was I ever THINKING?” Namely, how did I ever love this book enough to pine for the next? It’s been hard to put a finger on exactly what is making this time through book 2 both a slog and also vaguely, creepily uncomfortable, but if you’re interested, my rather stream-of-consciousness ramble of thoughts ensues. First, the male gaze that rears its head at times in book 1 predominates here. But while I don’t love the way Kvothe describes women, I also have 2 degrees in literature, and I’m beyond that being a reason not to read an otherwise engaging book. Second, Kvothe is a Gary Stu, for all of Rothfuss’s protestations to the contrary. Again, so far, so much traditional high fantasy. But while, say, Aragorn is content to just quietly be Awesome At Everything, Kvothe is a braggy little shit of a Gary Stu: the person you hated for announcing their perfect scores in that hs class you could never quite master. I could fill several pages with examples, but for some reason what really made me want to kick him in the head was not Felurian’s disbelief of his virginity (though really, jfc, REALLY?) Nope, it was the end of his time w the Ademrae (sp may be off, remember, I’m listening not reading!) when he crows about having learned the history of his sword 2 days earlier than expected. Why does this stick out? Oh, idk. Maybe bc he sucks so hard he can’t even get past the first obstacle in his practical final exam? Yet he still has to tell us how fucking awesome he is for remembering 6000 names of previous owners.

I know, I’m supposed to forgive his teenage idiocy. The internet sympathists (no pun intended!) keep telling me this. And I suppose that I would, IF this were a simple first-person narrative - but it isn’t. Let’s repeat that, and really think about it. This story is being narrated by an older and presumably wiser Kvothe who has lost everything - whose abilities have been expunged to the extent that he can’t open his own chest of Cool Stuff. He shows humility in his actions, mostly. And yet when discussing his 16 yo self, the humility evaporates, and he speaks with no kind of perspective or lens of accrued wisdom. He still compares women to instruments waiting for the “right” player (i.e. him) and defends this choice of words by saying, essentially, “You aren’t a musician, you don’t know!”

Interesting assumption for an innkeeper in a medieval-esque world. Interesting assumption if this is in fact authorial interjection, too, because I suspect the majority of this book’s audience *are* musicians to at least an extent, and I also suspect that the majority of us (yes, us - I own several beloved instruments, including a harp custom made for me as a wedding present from my husband) would not equate a human lover to even the most beloved of instruments.

But all of this is well-trodden critical ground. As far as I can tell, though, my third issue isn’t: although it’s perhaps the most glaringly tone-deaf example of all of Rothfuss’s excruciatingly tone-deaf portrayal of his world’s women. Namely, the two girls kidnapped and gang-raped by the fake Ruh.

Almost all of the criticism I’ve read on this section of TWMF concentrates on Kvothe’s treatment of the girls’ abusers. What’s interesting is that no one ever seems to write about Kvothe’s treatment of the girls themselves. Yes, he treats them kindly. He tends their wounds, he feeds them, he tries (and succeeds, of course) to draw Ellie out of her shocked stupor.

Yet what he never once does, from the moment he takes control of the situation, is ask their opinions on any of this, including what their next step should be. He just decides to bring them back to their families - families who, in this type of society, might well disown them for being “ruined”. And the girls themselves, namely the intelligent and savvy Krin, seem to go blindly along with what he says. Why? Would Krin at least not question this, or object to his making decisions for her, when a group of men had so recently and brutally taken away all of her agency? Would she not question whether being brought back to her family is the best thing for the catatonic Ellie?

Okay, apparently not. So they return to their apparently very forgiving town. Kvothe stands up for the girls against the village shithead: thank you, Kvothe, bc I’m sure Krin could not have said those words herself. He assures the reader that they are with people who will love and care for them despite what has happened to them: thank you, Kvothe, though it’s stretching my credulity a bit that you would assume that no one will take issue with their deflowering. But then he “gifts” the girls the spoils of his slaughter: the horses, the valuables, the wagons. And I was about to give him a (grudging) pass for being decent about this, EXCEPT: he goes on to say that these goods are meant for the girls’ dowries. Specifically, to make them worth enough financially for potential husbands to overlook their loss of virginity. He even tells Krin not to settle for a less-than-lucrative marriage.

And suddenly, I was outraged. Why? Because a man who had witnessed the full extend of these women’s abuse brought them back to a backwater town believing that he was being magnanimous both in doing so, and in giving up whatever share he might have taken of the spoils of the debacle to make them financially lucrative marriage prospects. Because he never asked these traumatized girls if they might rather cut and run with the money than use it to make some man overlook their abuse in order to make them his property. He never even questions the idea that they will be grateful to submit to marriage contracts that will no doubt require them to have sex with their husbands, even though these women have been abused to the extent that they cannot sit a horse for *two days* after being rescued. And the worst part is that 20-something frame-story Kvothe doesn’t question this either; he just goes on to gloat about people singing songs about his daring rescue. Maybe I was just ready for a straw to break my benefit of the doubt. Or maybe this really is as outrageous as it feels. Either way, I can’t help being angry at Rothfuss. As a writer, I am very well aware that character and author are not the same thing; that authorial intent is not the same as authorial beliefs. But there are moments in some books when I have to wonder if that line is blurring, and this is one of them. Kvothe has literally JUST left a female-dominated country full of independent women happily doing their own thing. He has given these girls the means to find themselves a situation that will never require them to be beholden to a man again - even houses ffs, in the shape of those 2 wagons, should they want them. There are so many options beyond marriage: I can’t, for instance, think of a medieval society that didn’t have its version of a convent. Or, for Krin at least, why not the University? For that matter, why not marry her himself, and then set her free to do as she likes under the awning of a respectable marriage?

Instead he returns them to their fathers, and likewise gives their fathers the means to marry them off with no argument. Who, after all, holds the reins of the horses at the end? Why does Kvothe assume that these families will actually use the wealth even in the dubious way that he recommends?

And in this, I think, I am justified in giving Rothfuss the stink-eye. This is one more instance for Kvothe to play the hero with no real attention given to the consequences. Kvothe himself, I think, would be appalled. He has suffered so much deprivation in his life, so often been marginalized, scapegoated, powerless, how on earth could he so easily consign others to that fate? How could he think, loving Denna as he does, having heard her words to the beaten girl in Severin, that buying these girls husbands who will “overlook” their abuse for the sake of wealth is anything but a wretched life sentence for them?

Sigh. There was a time when I desperate awaited book three. Now, given the other women’s lives at stake in this series, I’m not so sure I want to know.

#kingkiller chronicle #kvothe #patrick rothfuss #wise man's fear #Kingkiller chronicles sexism #kvothe gary stu #kkc sexism

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lastluvbug · 4 years

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Okay I've got another one! How do you think Leona, Vil, Rook, Idia and Malleus would react if their fem reader asked them to dress up as the beauty and the beast for Halloween BUT! She wants to be the fem!beast and them as the male! beauty. Will they agree? And how will they dress up? Thanks!

Is This My Trick? (Feat. Leona, Rook, Vil, Idia, and Malleus)

Rook Hunt-

How fun! You want to dress up as the beast to his beauty? He’d agree without a second thought, believing you to be beautiful no matter what you wear.

He’d sweep you into the bathroom, where you two would do the other’s makeup and hair, a sweet melody of compliments streaming from Rook’s lips as he played with your locks, and you his. Let’s say only one of you took the night seriously, and it wasn’t Rook.

You’d given him a wide smokey eye, blended with a little gold to flatter his hair color. For a little extra pop, you painted his lips with a clear gloss, and his cheeks with a fair anount of blush, making him look more princess-like than princely.

There wasn’t much you could with his hair, so you settled instead with curling it slightly, giving him waves instead of the pin straight bob everyone knew.

His outfit was fantastically flamboyant; an indigo colored overcoat with a tail that split into two ends, with matching colored trousers leading to black dress shoes. A vertically striped vest was beneath, covering a button up white dress shirt, a blood red bow tied around his neck.

“You’ll be almost as spectacular as Vil when I’m done!” He’d clap as soon as you were done marveling at him. And with that, he set to work.

He’d tease you mercilessly, throwing you for loop after loop as he sung little rhymes laced with complex adulation, just to turn around and lightly poke fun at you. At first, he painted on a cute little button nose over yours, with whiskers flaring out over your cheeks, biting his lip as he tried and failed to muffle his laughter at your shocked face.

Wiping it off, he’d truly go all out, giving you the face you desired after you shrugged on your dress.

It was so spot on, you almost questioned if he’d done something like this before. Your eyes had been framed in a dusty black eyeshadow, creased with white to bring out your elongated lashes. Your face had been shaped with blends of browns, blacks, and white, making your cheekbones and jawline appear sharper, the makeup around you nose connecting down to your lips in a V shape.

Your dress was almost as exquisite. Long sleeved with mesh gloves, it was an ombré of blue to black, coming to a soft v-neck across your chest that was half concealed with the same mesh as your gloves. The skirt was knee length, folding over itself to create the twirling look. And, to point out your waist, a thin black belt looped around you, the same color as your boots.

As soon as you were done thanking him and gushing over your makeup, Rook bowed as he laughed, extending a hand towards you.

“Your beauty far surpasses that of a beast, but just for the enchantment of the night, let us play the roles of prince and cursed princess! We shall sweep the crowds off their feet!”

Vil Schoenheit-

Excuse me? Did—Did he just hear you correctly? You want to dress as a beast for Halloween? No, absolutely not!

It doesn’t matter how much you beg or ask, his answer remains a solid no. He can’t afford to be unsightly, and neither can you. Though, he can’t help but feel bad when you disappointedly walk away, so he comes up with a compromise.

He’ll take your hand and lead you into his extremely large bathroom, and as soon as the perfumey smell hits your face, you know something is about to happen. “I can’t allow you to walk out of my dorm looking like a beast, but I can allow you this very special offer,” he’d say curtly, sitting down before his mirror, “only for tonight, you have permission to do what you please with my cosmetics. Do it well enough, and I’ll give you the opportunity to style my hair.” He’d grin, reaching for his makeup remover to give you a clean slate to work with.

You were ecstatic. Vil never let anyone into his room, let alone do his makeup! You eagerly set to work, using his brand name materials and trying to keep yourself from bursting.

It was a little insufferable, as Vil would criticize you ever two minutes over the way you held the eyeliner, and how hard you were pressing against his skin, and—oh, for the love of the queen, stop shaking!

At the end, he deemed it of passing quality before allowing you to style his hair, of which you accepted without question. You were quite proud of how it all turned out at the end, and honestly, you didn’t really care what Vil thought.

You’d given him a thick cat eye, using a black mascara to extend his lashes and bring out the highlight of the look; the golden eyeshadow. You’d picked up a few tricks here and there, and had executed a flawless glittery eyeshadow that blended into a dark crease, the vibrant color dotting the inner area while circling under the eye. You went plain with his hair, styling it into a sleek looped updo and letting down a few strands of hair to finish it off.

Vil was in charge of dressing himself, which he’d done prior to your little makeup adventure. He’d chosen to wear a jacket of stark white, a black silk button up shirt under and a frilly cravat tied around his neck. He’d slipped on a pair of lace cuffs, the thin mesh falling around his hands, similarly to the way his white trousers fell over his golden heels, risen a good five inches from the floor.

“Don’t worry dear, you’ll be the starlight bright princess to my prince soon.” He’d smile, raising your hand to his lips as you resisted the urge to kiss him right there.

He’d use a gross amount of pink shaded items, some for only a second, and others for what felt like an hour. Though, after all of the materials had been piled onto the countertops, he’d announce that he was finished, much to your delight.

You were astounded by his skill, though really, what did you expect? This is the Vil Schoenheit, anything below exceptional was an insult!

He’d used a rose gold eye shadow to color your eyelids, darker towards the outer ends before shading into a more salmon-esque color. He’d used the tip of his finger to dab on silvery glitter, emphasizing the natural sparkle in your orbs. Your lips were covered with a petal pink, matching your dress, which of course Vil had chosen specifically for you.

It was more of a ball gown than a costume, with a billowing ankle long skirt and a tightly fitted bodice, flowy sleeves falling around your arms while nature-esque embroidery was threaded into the torso. You looked close to a fairy, practically radiating glitter and light as you excitedly clung to Vil’s arm, thanking him up and down.

“Anything for my little forest flower. As my princess, I promise you to give you an evening that will be magically gorgeous.”

(Of course, he wouldn’t really do anything. He has to keep his skin baby soft, and that hair? Oh honey, you wouldn’t know the half of it.)

Idia Shroud-

He’d be against it at first. He really didn’t want to leave the comfort of his room, especially on Halloween, where there’d no doubt be a huge party just waiting to grow his anxiety ten times bigger than usual.

Seeing your expectant face paired with Ortho’s encouragement was what broke him, though he was reluctant to dress up. “Babe... do I have to...? Can’t we just stay here?” He’d uselessly try as you’d pull him into the bathroom, Ortho bouncing happily after.

Neither of you listened as Ortho went searching through Idia’s closet, looking for the clothes to suit the occasion, while you pulled out your makeup, both of you smiling wickedly as Idia sweat dropped.

One busy hour later, Idia stood self consciously in the mirror, inspecting himself as you and Ortho made the room glow with your smiles.

You’d given his eyes a cut crease look, using a metallic blue-blended-with-gold to compliment his hair, as well as hide the bags created from too many night stayed awake playing video games. You’d chosen a mauve lipstick to match, making his lips appear full and plump.

Ortho dressed his older brother magnificently; he chose a pair of high waisted tights that hugged his hips and calves, four golden buttons glinting off the light. His shirt was rather decorative, with a frilly collar and chest, the sleeves flowing over his pale skin before being trapped in the tight wrist cuffs.

“Hmm...looks nice. But I’m not going to be the only one doing this.” He’d grin, mischief written on every frame of his face.

Against all of your protests, Idia would refuse to allow you do your own makeup. He’d snag your pallets and anything else you brought, laughing out loud when you finally sagged in defeat. In short, it was a mess.

The dress you wore, probably the only thing that wouldn’t draw a laugh from onlookers, was plain black, with a fitted off-the-shouldered top and lacy sleeves that wrapped around your arms. The asymmetrical skirt fell down to your calves, before looping back up to reveal your legs as it stopped around mid thighs. Your midnight shoes lifted you about three inches, though you were still shorter than Idia.

Now you’re makeup... that was a completely different story. Since Idia had insisted, he gave you a cute little pink nose, a line of black leading down to your lips that were colored a dark red, black dots sprinkled across your cheeks as a set of three whiskers flared out across each one.

Idia made you a cat! A cat’s not a beast, at least not usually!! When you complained, all he did was laugh and drape his arms around your shoulders in a hug from behind.

“Sorry... I just painted you as you are. You’re too cute to be a beast... I love you for it though.”

Leona Kingscholar-

No. No no no no. Nuh uh. No way.

He’d honestly be a little offended by the question, though he’d be a dead man before he let you know that.

“Isn’t the trickery supposed to wait until later?” He’d nonchalantly ask, tail whipping in the air. He may be a royal lion, but dressing in those tight clothes was an absolute no-no. He was the beast here, he even had the ears to prove it.

It would be near impossible to convince him, but after enough of your wide eyed attempts, he’d eventually break, allowing you to waltz him into the bathroom so you could tame that wild mane and dress him however you pleased. It took a long, long while before you finished, but it all was worthwhile in the end.

The result was breathtaking, in your opinion. You managed to tie Leona’s hair into a half-up half-down style, embellished with a rose pin, a simple product threaded into his locks to create waves and curls instead of the frizz you were so used to.

He was stuffed into a yellow blazer over a long sleeved white dress shirt, the laced cuffs brushing over the middle of his palms. To compliment, a pair of black pants with a gold strip down each leg followed, black dress shoes finishing the getup.

“If it were anyone else, they’d be running for the hills right about now. Let’s see how beastly you can be, my little mouse.” He’d growl, clearly unamused by your laughter as you ran a hand down his arm.

Leona would stand by, watching curiously as you transformed yourself into the beast to pair with his beauty. After you finished, he’d quite literally be speechless, even more so blown away by your choice of dress.

The makeup wasn’t anything special, you just used a little bit of eyeliner and black facepaint to paint over your nose, dragging a slim trail to your lips, which were covered in black lipstick. You used darker browns to blend around your cheekbones, and made your eyes look a touch larger than they were with a risky cat eye that paid off in the end.

Your dress was magical, to say the least. Floor length, with silky fabrics of gold and blue twisted into elegant arched and loops over the gown, the bodice fitted and off-the-shoulder to expose your collar.

By the time you were done, you caught Leona’s intense stare, maybe a hint of a blush darkening his already tan cheeks. When you said something about he, he’d merely pout before taking your arm and pulling you close, so that his cologne and your perfume mixed into an entirely new scent.

“I don’t know if I’d call you a beast, my beautiful little herbivore. Let’s go, I’d like to show off all this work. And for the record... you better give me my treat later.”

Malleus Draconia-

Oh? You want to dress up as a beast? He’d done his fair share of research on this human tradition, and had wanted to try it out for an embarrassingly long time, so he had no problems agreeing.

He didn’t have much of a designer’s touch, so he watched with an intrigued grin as you excitedly ran around gathering your materials. “Careful, we don’t want to waste that energy before the party, do we?” He’d laugh, sitting on the chair you brought and allowing you to do your work.

He was a little jumpy, but by the end, it didn’t matter as he marveled at the outcome of your delicate work.

You’d expertly woven his thin black hair into a loose braided crown that fell around his horns, half of it still cascading down his shoulders and shining in the artificial light. His eyes were rimmed thinly with eyeliner, accentuated with a dark eyeshadow.

He was dressed in a deep blue overcoat, a white button down dress shirt underneath. Around his neck was a pristine white cravat, the ends laced with black, matching his dress pants and shoes. It was rather simplistic, but suited Malleus all too well compared to his usual attire.

“Stunning. I can’t say I’m upset with how you’ve pampered me, dearest. What ever shall you do next?” He’d grin in a closed eye smile, sitting patiently as you worked on yourself.

You worked diligently, applying so many different types of makeup that he’d become a little dizzy trying to wrap his head around the names and colors. When you were done, you hardly looked like the same person. You’d used an assortment of greys and browns to rim your face, two lines cutting down your cheeks to create pronounced cheekbones. You’d painted your eyes in a thick layer of black, shimmery silver blended up to your eyebrows and highlighting your irises. Your lips were a delicious fuschia, so bright against the rest of your face.

Your dress was immaculate, a single shouldered black-and white apparel. The sleeve was made of a thin line of black lace shaped like various flowers, snaking over the colorless bodice and skirt before rounding over the hem. It was rather short, ending just above mid thigh, a calf high pair of strappy boots at least five inches tall doing basically nothing to promote your height compared to Malleus.

When you gave him a little twirl as you put away your cosmetics, he let his eyes wander over his every part of you, thoroughly enjoying the temporary view.

“My, my... You’re truly a sight, dearest. Come, let’s show them all the beauty that will surely make history.”

There we are! Honestly, it was so fun designing all these clothes, except Rook’s. Sorry loves, I had no brain juice left and could only think of his Ghost Marriage outfit.

Thanks so much for reading, and thanks to @blackstrawberrynightmare for the ask! I hope you enjoyed!

Stay lovely!

#twisted wonderland #twst #fem reader #vil schoenheit #malleus draconia #leona kingscholar #rook hunt #idia shroud

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darksiders-scenarios · 4 years

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May i perhaps ask for a scenario/perhaps a drabble in which the human gives Death flowers?

Aie, what mess have I written? Sorry, I’m still being ridiculously slow because of exams and work :( Since I worked on a few asks, I think it’s ok to open my ask box again though I’m still working on more. I hope everyone is safe and well.

----

'What if he's one of those yardstick types?’

‘Now you’re overthinking it.’

You kept overthinking it. ‘"Oh, you got me a gift! Let me measure theweight of your appreciation for my existence. Behold! A floppy stem, a symbolof your utter thoughtlessness. Gasp! A weed! A symbol of your unforgivingcarelessness. Guards! I found a-"'

'As poetic as your stream of consciousness is, howabout you stop assuming flapdoodle about my brother you don't know and justgive him the Creator-damned flowers.'

'I don't even know how to begin, how to approach him. Wh-What to, to say.'

'How about- Hey, you rotting carcass, listen to me or I’llharvest your bird.’

You stared at the horseman.

Fury shrugged. 'Always works for me.'

But the threat of disappointing loomed large as youlooked at the disarray of flower arrangement in your hand. A stem floppedmiserably to the ground. 'It's not easy,' you murmured.

‘Well of course it's not easy since you care so muchand love so deeply. Your problem stems from overgeneralising and catastrophising.Disaster won't strike, tragedy won't ensue. You've survived a whole damnapocalypse by Oblivion.’

You ducked your head.

‘What's more,’ Fury continued. ‘I believe what you’redoing is an honourable thing. This direct expression of gratitude to a valued companion.Words are the most powerful and simplest way to express gratitude yet you aregoing beyond that simplicity. You're choosing action over mere words. Andbelieve you me, more species could benefit from such trait. Humans areremarkable like that.’

You glanced up. ‘That… helps. Thanks Fury.’

'Anytime my little simian. I suppose you would need aflask of a sort for the posy. Strife says he's got one in his dubiouscollection.'

You almost forgot how to breathe. 'Why do I feel likeeveryone knows?'

'Because everyone knows.'

You thumped your face in your free hand, groaninghard. 'Great.'

'Indeed. Besides, who better knows his brother thanhis own sister?'

'His brothers?'

'Now your thinking is really flawed.'

'I can't be sure if you're courting me badly or thatyou've been spending too much time in the company of my wayward brother.'

Mortified and embarrassed, your sense of relief savagelycombusted and you wished the ground would swallow you up at once. 'You couldjust tell me that you don’t like it.’

Death glanced up quickly, as though taking note ofyour stunned expression for the first time. ‘Did I utter that out loud?’

You let your face answer for you.

‘I did, didn’t I?’ For a few heartbeats, both of youwere absolutely still. 'What is the occasion?' he tried awkwardly.

'That would've been a much painless way to start theconversation,' you mumbled unhappily, feeling deflated.

'I know I...' Death sighed, running his hand down hisface. ''This is completely unexpected, you see. I... It doesn't matter, itdoesn't excuse my outburst. I’m sorry.'

‘Answer me this then,’ you said. You hid the smilewhen Death stared at you expectantly. ‘Why Strife?’

‘Because I recognise his signature stench,’ he noddedat the crystal flask in your hands.

‘Adequate,’ you allowed. ‘So…. take two?’

The warmth in his eyes always did something to yourstomach. ‘What is the occasion?’ he asked again, comfortably this time.

‘There’s no occasion. I just wanted to give yousomething to express my appreciation for you. To say thank you.’

‘For what?’

You shrugged, looking away. ‘For everything you’vedone for me. Your support made me stronger, wiser. Thank you for always beingthere for me. For… for accepting me as family. I-’ you laughed, a nervoussound. ‘You can see that I didn’t prepare a speech but all I want to say isthat your friendship means the world to me. And I... am forever grateful toyou, Death.'

The birds chirped their evening songs and the breezewhistled through the trees. You can hear the water gurgle in a nearby stream.

'So you are bribing me.'

'Yes I-' You heart twisted viciously in your chest. Ittook a few moments to regain the will to speak again and when you spoke, yourvoice was barely audible. 'Is that... is that what you think?'

Death eyed the floral bouquet suspiciously. 'What elsecould it be? Here you stand, having just blatantly listed the qualities thatappeal to you. By giving me this "gift", you hope to reinforce those favourablequalities, do you not? So, bribery.'

'I… I see,' you relented heavily, heart plummeting toyour toes, crushed. 'Here I stand foolishly believing that we were longpast such... puerile presumptions of the other.'

'What a coincidence.'

You looked up sharply. Laughter danced in his eyes.Death barely evaded the kick to the shin and he fully broke into a laughing fitlike a child hearing the word "poop".

'You got me, you old git!' you hissed, nursing yourthrobbing knuckles after a successful blow to his arm.

'I know!' Death exclaimed cheerfully, utterlyunrepentant. 'I could see the anxiety rolling off you in waves.'

'Of course you would revel in that,' you groused,blinking a few stray tears from your eyelashes.

The laughter slowly faded, though his eyes stilltwinkled. Death smiled softly. 'I apologise. It was inappropriate conduct ofme. I truly appreciate the gesture. May I have my gift?'

Yet oddly, it was that inappropriate conduct that madeyou feel lighter, as though a heavy weight has been lifted off yourshoulders. You approached him, offering the bouquet. 'And I apologise for strikingyou.'

Death accepted the flowers, carefully gripping the crimsonholder, the flowers layered in silk ribbons. 'Nonsense. I deserved it and youknow it.'

He turned his gaze downward and you waited silently,pulse quickening. 'From your front yard?' he asked without looking up.

That obvious? 'Ye-Yes. The... best ones,' you added lamely. Damnit, you knew that you should have asked Muria to let you in her atrium!

Death didn't say anything as he stared at the flowers,his expression thoughtful. 'I see a mix of such seasonal foliage, the, ah,farmgirl-esque arrangement.’

The what? ‘Y-Yeah, that’s right,’ you said stupidly. Crap,is that a good thing?

'What do we have here?' he murmured, gently touchingan orange flower. ‘Genus Berberis. A symbol of bad temper.’

‘Precis-what!’

He carried on. 'The hellebore winter flower. Representingscandal.'

You looked scandalised. ‘Listen-‘

‘The Narcissus!’

‘I didn’t know you were versed in floriography. I feelbetrayed.’

‘The yellow Hyacinth. Jealous, child?’

‘At this moment, not really.’

'"Caution, danger," cries the Rhododendron!"'

‘I think you’re having waaay too much fun with this.’

‘A striped Carnation!’ Death gave his most dramaticgasp. ‘Rejection!’

‘I feel… that you’re being unfairly selective.’

‘I am,’ Death declared triumphantly. And you calledStrife wayward, you thought. ‘The best ones,’ Death parroted your words, theasshole.

You groaned. ‘If you don’t like it-‘

‘Hands off my posy.’

You quickly dropped your hands, unable to contain yourlaughter anymore. ‘You can be really silly, you know that.’

Death chuckled. ‘You understand that I am not likethis to anyone.’

You stopped laughing almost immediately, replayingthose words for the next minutes. ‘I’m honoured.’

You startled when Death suddenly placed a hand on topof your head, fingers reaching behind your ear. Your hand flew upautomatically, without thinking. The back of his hand was as always coarse andpowerful.

'I believe your trajectory is off,' Death said softlyafter a brief pause, gently directing your hand to the soft petal of the flowertucked behind your ear.

'No,' you blurted, mentally punching yourself. 'No, Imean-' you squeezed your eyes shut, willing to control your tongue. You exhaleddeeply. 'What flower is it?'

'Can you not smell it?' his voice was gravelly low toyour ears.

'All I know is that my hair smells the sweetest it hasin a long, long time.'

Death snorted. 'Now there's something we can bothagree on.'

‘So what is it?’

Your muscles turned rigid when his long finger tracedthe general area behind your ear, brushing against your fingers. 'Canterburybell.'

You swallowed, your gaze fixated on the green shardson his chest, gleaming bright emerald in the evening glow, throwing tiny pearls oflight on your clothes. ‘And… what does it symbolise?’

There was a softness in his amber gaze. ‘Gratitude.’

Time halted. The faint thrum of your pulse beat louderthan a storm. Your fingers curled around his larger ones and this time, hedidn’t move your hand. His eyes crinkled and you knew that behind his mask wasa broad smile. You smiled contently, gently closing your eyes and resting theside of your face against his chest, breathing in synchrony with him. At peace.At peace.

Your pulse picked up pace, beating much louder in yourears and faster, faster. That's funny, you're not feeling anxiou-

A moment later, Death tore away from you and leaptback as though scalded by a cauldron of lava. 'What in Oblio-'

The posy exploded in his face. The violent impactsending him toppling into the bushes. It was never your pulse.

'Death!' you leapt over the foliage of desecratedpetals as you ran to him. 'Death, what the hell happened?'

'I should've known,' Death hissed through clenchedteeth, pushing himself to his knees, dragging his weight from the bushes. 'Thestench. I should've known you were up to no good.'

'Death, your mask!'

'What the- my mask!'

Standing before you, battered in the aftermath of theposy outbreak, was a livid Death- with a cactus lodged to his face mask.

'Someone will perish today,' Death promised, low andthreatening, his voice somewhat stuffy.

You stopped a metre before Death, brows furrowing inbewilderment when a shadow was cast from the bushes, seemingly out of place. Itloomed in size until the saboteur revealed themself at last from theshrubbery, coming to stand behind Death.

Strife leant close, deliberately slowly till his lipswere close to his brother’s ear. And whispered.

'Roses are red,

Violets are blue.'

'Piss off, Strife.'

Strife didn’t piss off.

'He has many names,

But Prickface suits you.'

'I said, piss off!'

The air infused with Strife's gleeful clapping as he skippedaway from Death's gigantic spectral fists and dance-evading the wraths of the Masherof Karkinos, and a disorderly horde of noisy ghouls until they disappeared intothe horizon.

Somewhere in your house, Fury smirked.

That night, your bedroom door was kicked wide open.

'Welcome back to mysorry-didn't-realise-it-was-a-dungeon room. How can I he- Death! I thought itwas War! And what do you know? Your mask is fixed.'

'I had a spare. One must always be prepared, as youknow.'

You shuffled uncomfortably. ‘Listen, about before-‘

Death clapped his hands. ‘Put something warm. We’re goingon a night ride.’

You practically leapt from the bed.

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buckyreaderrecs · 4 years

Text

So Far Away: Chapter 1/?

Summary: Bucky Barnes doing what he does best. Saving. Loving. In this particular case, the object of both is you. (Bonus: Bucky Barnes happy, healing, doing really well!)

Pairing: Bucky Barnes/reader Characters: Bucky Barnes Additional tags: mostly canon compliant (Infinity War and Endgame didn’t happen, Stark Tower still exists), possible future smut (who knows, not me), she/her pronouns, more tags/characters to be added with future chapters, hero Bucky Barnes, canon typical violence, warzone/disaster zone setting Warnings: possible triggers for anxiety, PTSD, grief

Note: I don’t know where I’m going with The Girl With Too Much Power (ideas welcomed) so here’s my other series. Feedback always encouraged and welcome. Thank ya’ll! xo Rhi

Tag list: just @darlingtholland lel

So Far Away Chapter 1 / ?

The city was crumbling and between the crashing sounds of buildings toppling, screams and cries were painfully audible. That wasn't the most terrifying part though. It wasn't the lifeless bodies lying in the streets or the sight of your mangled hand that were causing you to panic. It was that everything was happening somewhere else. The crumbling and screaming seemed so far away. If the action was elsewhere, so were the heroes.

Nobody was coming to save you.

For almost half an hour they'd ripped through the city unchallenged; nobody really counted the unified effort of the first responders. They never stood a chance against the enemy from above. It took ten minutes for The Avengers to hear about it. They were en route within another ten. Even with all that Stark tech though, it still took them just over eleven minutes to arrive, landing and launching into action.

You'd watched the heroes bounce off buildings and fly through the sky. They represented hope, but they couldn't save everyone.

The evacuation wasn't fast enough and whole blocks of the city were wiped off the map. By the time you'd crawled out of the rubble of yours, the trucks taking people to safety were long gone. In their wake, tire tracks in the dirt and dust, and bodies left behind to save room for the living.

You could walk, but terrified that someone… something… would circle back around, you dropped down behind a car that had been violently propelled across the street. Making yourself as small as possible, pulling your legs up to your chest and burying your face in your lap, you just listened. Thinking was too hard, and your thoughts were sure to be only dark and anxiety-inducing anyway.

It all seemed so far away.

Then, the tell-tale sound of trouble. No no no no no! you screamed in your head, covering your mouth with your hands to not let the terror out.

It was moving fast, but tearing everything up as it went. The sound coming from it was alien, but it still someone seemed like speech. It was communicating with the others. Then, you realised, it was looking for something. Sitting in a pile of bricks and glass, all you could do was hope to god that creatures from literal outer space didn't come to Earth in search of an old Ford.

Bits of debris came from over the car, rejected by the creature and cast aside. First, rocks and chunks of cement - too big for any human to throw so easily. They hit the building in front of you and shattered. A bad situation got worse when it dug deep enough to find the people who had been trapped under fallen buildings. Bodies flew over you, sometimes in parts.

After what felt like minutes but was only seconds, your entire body was shaking with abject horror. On the very cusp of losing consciousness from fear and blood loss, you heard one foreign sound. It was almost like a gunshot… but more… Star Wars-esque. It was immediately proceeded by silence.

Run! the voice in your head told you, but you were completely immobile.

"This thing's too damn light… Feels like a fuckin' toy," a human voice spoke. A pause for, presumably, a reply you didn't hear. "Yeah, it worked. Not the point." Another pause. "Call me that again, Stark and I'll-" The speaker abruptly stopped his conversation.

You hadn't heard him arrive. Unsurprisingly, you did not hear him as he walked through the destroyed street to the car you were hidden behind. To any other person, you were silent. However, he could hear the slight crunching of gravel beneath your feet, the air being inhaled and exhaled from your nose, and the tiny squeaks you were making entirely subconsciously.

Moving slowly, he made his way around the side of the car using footsteps that would make noise, announce his arrival. Don't scare her. You could feel him standing just metres from you. He spoke, but not to you.

"I got a friendly… She's out of the evac zone." The pause for reply was long. "It's a ghost town here. Nobody's gonna be coming through for-" He was interrupted. "Don't care. Gonna bring her in."

Again, he moved slowly.

Your face was still buried and although you knew it was somebody good crouching in front of you, everything was all too overwhelming to respond.

"Hi… I don't need ya to move just yet. Gonna have a look at your hand, if that's alright?"

His voice was calm. Far beyond the point of being in shock, it didn’t hurt when he gently took your arm. As he tightly wrapped your injured hand, you began to unwrap yourself. Lifting your head and opening your eyes, everything came into focus. Mostly, everything you could see was war. But, there he was. Easily recognisable, Bucky Barnes was finishing first aid on you.

His eyes lingered on the bandage for a moment, and you wondered where he'd stashed it before it stopped your bleeding. Did he have pockets of band-aids?

When he looked up at you, you were already looking back.

"Hi," he said.

"Hi," you replied, your voice weak.

"Reckon we should get out of here. What do ya think?" As soon as you nodded, he mirrored the response and stood, helping you to your feet. "Are you hurt anywhere else?"

"N-no," you told him. That wasn't strictly true, but you were mostly numb. Deep, dark bruises would bloom all across your body over the coming days. How you managed to escape otherwise unharmed was magic or a miracle.

"Stronger than you look, huh?" he said, smiling. How he could smile in an environment like that was also magic or a miracle. "I know a couple people like that, so you're in good company. Always my favourite type of people,"

"I didn't… didn't think you'd talk so much," you said. It kinda just came out, the same way the thoughts of little kids do.

Bucky's left arm was around your waist, holding almost all of your body weight. He was making carrying you through a warzone seem easy. Giving you a bit of a casual shrug, Bucky said, " I don't… Trick to keep ya conscious. Don't want you passing out on me,"

"I'm not gonna pass out," you said, more in defiance than anything else.

Bucky scoffed. "Alright. So, what's your name then? What do you do?"

He'd obviously seen them before you, so by the time you clocked the creatures scrambling through broken buildings and rubble in their search, Bucky had already taken you off the road. Backs to the wall, he didn't appear in the slight bit concerned about the situation. He even looked to you, waiting for a reply before making his next move.

"Y/N," you told him.

"Y/N. Good to meet you, Y/N. I'm Bucky,"

"I know,"

"Yeah… Everybody fuckin' knows… Alright. Gonna need you to stay here for just a second, okay?"

As he went to peel away from the wall, you grabbed him with your one working hand. "Please don't leave me!" you begged in a harsh whisper. Tears had been streaming down your face since the first building went down, but a fresh flood started to sting your cheeks.

Bucky cupped your face with his gloved hands and looked you dead in the eyes. "I'm not leaving. I promise. I fuckin' promise you."

Slowly, you nodded. As soon as you did, he swooped off the curb and brought a reckoning down on the creatures. They hadn't seen him coming. Bucky moved with grace and ease, like he was born to fight. Later, when you were safe, you'd think about that moment, about the way he moved, and it would make you sad.

Back, Bucky wrapped himself around you again. And, that's how you got through the city. It was slow, but Bucky continually refused offers of help from whoever was in his earpiece. Resources were needed elsewhere, he said. He had you, and he'd get you to safety.

Time once again warping, fifteen minutes later you could hear voices and see human movement. It felt like you'd spent hours in Bucky's arms, watching him take down threats and crack bad jokes to keep you awake.

Before you realised what was happening, people were carrying you away from Bucky, pouring water down your throat and yelling at you that you were safe. Although you understood you were safe, it felt the opposite. "No! Please, please, please," you yelled, pushing free from the helpers and clinging back onto Bucky. All your words were rammed together, scared and needy.

Bucky let you hold him, wrapping his arms around you with the perfect amount of pressure. He hushed you with soft, "Shhhh," sounds. Using his teeth as a vice, Bucky pulled the glove off his right hand, then ran his fingers through your hair. "You're okay, Y/N. You're safe. You gotta stay here and have someone look at your hand. I gotta go help."

Although you nodded into him, you made no attempt to move. You'd been safe before it all happened, but it happened anyway. There was nothing to say that as soon as Bucky left, more creatures wouldn't arrive.

"Y/N. I got Captain America in one ear and Iron Man in the other. They can't do shit without me," Bucky joked. It made you laugh, looking up at him. "I'll come back when this is done. Bring ya flowers in the hospital,"

"I'm scared,"

"Yeah. Aliens are invading. It's scary. But it's kinda cool too, right?" he said with a wink.

He gently led you to one of the makeshift medical tents set up. When you were sitting down, he ruffled your hair in a weird gesture that confused you both, then left the safe zone. As soon as he was gone, you started to cry.

Chapter 2.

#mine #Bucky Barnes #Bucky Barnes fanfic #Bucky Barnes fic #Bucky Barnes x Reader #Bucky Barnes/Reader #Bucky Barnes / Y/N #Bucky Barnes x Y/N #Bucky Barnes x You #Bucky Barnes/You #Hero Bucky Barnes #So Far Away

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cheetahsprints · 4 years

Text

Schoolyard Gossip

Prompt: Little Homeschool

Summary: Peridot learns that Little Homeschool has a thriving rumor mill, and she's the latest victim. Meanwhile, Amethyst stakes a claim which may cost what she wants most.

Words: 2181

Peridot dances in place as her Botany & Permaculture class comes to a close. She's headed to teach Meep Morp - or as it's registered, 'Sculpting & Making Art with Items' - Class next, but that isn't the source of her excitement. Almost immediately, she spots Amethyst. She finishes inhaling her fries, probably fresh from the boardwalk. They fall into step, chatting and laughing. Her next destination is baseball practice. This is a usual part of their routine.

However, something new happens. A warm purple hand slightly bigger than her own engulfs hers. Warmth spreads to her core. For a moment, she blames it on the sun emerging from the cloud. Logically, she knows her hard light projection isn't so affected. She's glad she doesn't have organs, or they'd be clumsily somersaulting. For years, she wondered if she was imagining the spark growing between them.

These days, Amethyst's time is quite full - at least compared to before. It's such a reward, teaching and guiding gems. The memory of the pride in Pearl's eyes when she said she wanted to have a part in her still makes her giddy. It's great to put her Earth culture knowledge to good use. Steven was a harder case, with the nerve to doubt her.

She chalked it up to personal issues - he was used to helping in a certain way. That boy was lost… anyone could see it, but Amethyst was clueless about how to get him out of the funk. She does have free time to hang out with her fellow OGs - as they've been nicknamed by formerly corrupted gems, never mind that they were Crystal Gems during the war while Amethyst was incubating - as well as the new gems she's come to consider family. She's even taken up art lessons, suggested by her old friend Vidalia, and encouraged by her current crush, Peridot.

Yet, none of that is so exciting as the time between Earth Stuff 101 and Baseball practice. That is when she gets to enjoy her walk and talk with Peridot. She can see Peridot enjoys Little Homeschool just as much as she does, if not more. Peridot is basically the poster child of Reformed Gem, and she wears it loud and proud. Amethyst doesn't always completely follow the topic Peridot is on, but she appreciates that Peridot gives her a chance, expects her to be smarter than Amethyst makes it seem - truth is, she is more knowledgeable than she lets on. Stars forbid anyone think she's a nerd!

In any case, Amethyst does follow the way Peridot's eyes light up when she's passionate. She doesn't miss her wide grins, showing off pointed canine-esque teeth that seems a common trait among green, yellow, and orange gems. She loses herself in Peridot's charming, if dorky, laughter. She tracks the movements of Peridot's fingers when she's frustrated, dragging them through her hair or gnawing them. Today she can't resist breaking the bubble and grasping her hand. She does resist the urge to grab her alluring behind. That wouldn't track unless they were explicitly a couple.

Peridot wouldn't have expected holding Amethyst's hand to be a revelation, but it is. This is just where she wants to be. She doesn't want it to end. Inevitably they reach a literal crossroads where they must part ways for now. For the rest of the day, it's difficult to focus. She has to mentally rebuke herself several times and endure instances of Lapis and others raising an eyebrow at her. She rubs her hand that held Amethyst's with the other, trapped in disbelief.

Was it just two friends being friendly and platonically holding hands… does she dare read into it?

Browsing the internet and her own mental database of romantic information is neither helpful or productive. The history is too confusing. It reminds her of the time she briefly thought Amethyst was jealous of Lapis, after Pearl let slip everyone thought they were dating - first of all, ew, Peridot shudders at the memory of drowning those rumors - only for it to turn out Amethyst's was preoccupied with Jasper, resulting in a grim attitude.

Overall, Peridot has a terrible history of being able to read Amethyst. She'd have better luck with Garnet. Nonetheless, as the weeks pass, the hand holding becomes part of the routine. Though exhilarating, it has downsides. It's distracting for one, and Peridot is certain she saw student gems pointing and whispering. It comes to a head in class at the end of the week.

"So, who can tell me the importance of bees in agriculture?"

To Peridot's pleasant surprise, one of the gems near the back, a known slacker, raises her hand. Peridot points, and instant regret is the result.

"You and Professor Amethyst are a thing right? I have a bet with a Nephrite who doesn't believe me!"

Peridot glares at the Quartz, indignant. "My social life is none of your business. However, as it stands, I am certainly not seeing anyone in a romantic capacity."

Kunzite sees fit to chime in, "With respect, that's coprolite. I asked the same of Amethyst yesterday, and she said, and I quote, ya darn right, that's my girl and don't forget it."

Peridot's eye twitches, her stone well chipped. What kind of sick joke is this? Amethyst is supposed to be her friend. Sure she's given to pranks, part of what Peridot adores about her, but this is too much. It's embarrassing to be contradicting and upsetting because it's not true. In love with her or not, she's going to kill Amethyst. Grinding her teeth she manages, "You. Did not. Get called on. Or raise your hand. Thus your comment will be ignored and stricken from the log."

"There's a log?"

"Silence!"

Peridot releases her class early, all the better to prepare for the confrontation soon. Unfortunately, traversing the grounds turns out to be a task. Every gem that crosses her path has to give their opinion, as the word of the exaggerated relationship between her and Amethyst has already spread like wildfire.

When Amethyst reaches for Peridot's hand, Peridot yanks away from her with a borderline snarl. It cuts deep. Did she mess up already? Amethyst has been taking it as slow as possible despite the screaming desire within her - or rather because of it. Peridot is careful and easily startled, like a deer. With her, it was two steps forward and twenty steps backward if you weren't cautious.

Amethyst notes that Peridot is tense enough to be shaking. An old stream of self loathing enters Amethyst's consciousness, but she redirects it with reason. She'll hear out Peridot before she jumps to blaming herself. It might just be -

"I'm setting a boundary," Peridot claims, her volume wince inducing. "You are not to lie about my love life AS A JOKE. That is private, not to mention a hurtful breach of trust!"

- a misunderstanding. Amethyst recoils as though struck by the force of Peridot's accusation. Puzzled, she mumbles, "Uh, what? Sorry, no idea what you're getting at, Dot." In the past she would've been incensed at the implication, but she maintains a relaxed air.

If she fumes too, Peridot's ire is likely to become an inferno.

Peridot takes a sharp inhale. She barks, "Don't play dumb, I know you're not. WHY DID YOU TELL KUNZITE WE'RE DATING? I can't walk a meter without getting congratulated or someone making a comment!"

"Wha -"

Amethyst squints, checking that Peridot's gem isn't cracked. Wasn't she mad about her spreading lies? Amethyst points at her saying, "If you wanted it to be a secret, you should've mentioned it, and not held my hand in public."

"YOU - WHAT - I -"

Many gems have stopped to take in the scene. Peridot notices them and her cheeks darken. She digs her fingers into her hair in a way that would be adorable, under circumstances where her aggravation wasn't directed at Amethyst.

Peridot seems to gather her thoughts and promptly explodes. "YOU SEEM TO BE UNDER THE IMPRESSION WE'RE TOGETHER! I DON'T RECALL GETTING THE MEMO, AMETHYST!"

"Instead I get this information from a gem in my class - unbelievable," Peridot finishes, her voice soft and cracking by the end. "This prank has gone too far."

Amethyst actually has to clamp her hands on either side of her head to suppress the onslaught. It takes a moment, past the slight ringing and giggles from the peanut gallery, to register what she said. Amethyst moves her hands to rub her own face, uncertain if she wants to scream, laugh, cry, or some combination of the three. She remembers before the whole Pink Diamond revelation, when it seemed dangerous to hope. That fear didn't dissipate until the corrupted gems were healed.

Now it seems, she had gotten ahead of herself and wrecked the train.

"Peri - Peridot, listen I -"

Amethyst stares hard at the ground, unable to meet Peridot's angry eyes. "It's not a joke. I thought my feelings for you were obvious, I just didn't want to - to push it, to scare you away. I swear I didn't mean to hurt you."

A few tears slip. She swiftly wipes them away, sniffling. When she dares to look up, Peridot is staring at her, lips parted. Peridot is aghast, thrown by what just occurred. She was embarrassed at being played for a fool, now she's ashamed of her indiscreet outbursts. She was seconds away from demanding an apology. She wants to drop down and beg forgiveness.

She grabs Amethyst by the wrist and sprints to her greenhouse. It's guaranteed empty for a while, allowing them privacy that Peridot should've granted in the first place. She stutters for a bit as her mind races faster than her tongue can keep pace.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have yelled at you like that in front of everyone. Argh! I'm such a clod!" Peridot hugs one of the potted plants to her chest and gazes at Amethyst, beseeching. "I don't know what's going on anymore, what are we?"

Amethyst reaches for her, hesitates, then drops her arm. Had Peridot possessed insides, they would've turned to dust at that. Amethyst says, "I accept your apology, I know how proud you are and I get why you lost it like that - I shouldn't have assumed. I - I didn't think we were dating yet exactly, but you didn't have a problem with us holding hands… I just… I didn't want anyone to think you were - but I didn't have the right -"

Realization striking, Peridot interrupts, "You were afraid someone would make a move, before you got the chance to take the next step."

"Yeah! But that was the wrong way to handle it. I should've talked to you instead of er -" Amethyst snorts. "Marking my territory, as it were."

Peridot frowns. Words are hard, feelings are hard. Once upon a time, Peridot wouldn't be able to have this type of conversation without some kind of intermediary. She takes a second to marvel at how far she's come before continuing to explain.

"Regardless, my reaction was overblown. I - it was painful, the implication when it wasn't reality, so I thought. It was jarring enough that a tasteless joke seemed in the higher percentile of probability than the idea that you were… more or less telling the truth," Peridot explains.

Amethyst blurts, "Can I hug you?"

Peridot opens her arms, and Amethyst rushes forward. Peridot notes that she's careful to hold back in order to avoid knocking them over along with the table behind Peridot. She relaxes into the embrace, relief coming over her. When Amethyst's arms loosen, Peridot shifts to press her lips to Amethyst's gemstone. Amethyst strokes her back.

"Hopefully the students will stick their noses elsewhere after that mess."

"Don't worry about the gossip line, I've got a little hook about a certain Pearl and her new squeeze I can cast as a distraction," Amethyst claims.

"I can still be your girl, if you still want that," Peridot murmurs.

Amethyst's eyes are shining. "Of course I do, ya nerd.

Peridot sighs, tilting her head as a fond smile invades her visage.

"At least my critical cognition isn't weighed down by exponential density as compared to my stone."

Amethyst blinks, processing her 'peri-phrasing' as she dubbed it. Her expression melts into understanding, then flashes into false rage. "Oh really? You can run but you can't hide!"

Amethyst lunges at her. Peridot uses her power to smack Amethyst square in the face with a trowel and makes good her escape. She dives under the nearest table, army crawling her way to the exit. Her hair gets tussled, but it's the least of her concerns. Amethyst bellows a battle cry, summoning her whip in Peridot's peripheral vision. Peridot reverts to sprinting on all fours, while Amethyst races after her laughing and cracking her whip. Chasing down her favorite green geek-mobile, Amethyst muses that the scene is sure to cause a lot of speculation.

#amedot #amedotweek #little homeschool #su:f #su fic #mild angst #mutual pining #miscommunication/lack of communication #sometimes when I write dialogue for Peridot I have no idea if it makes actual sense

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lycanhood · 4 years

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Book Recs: Leads w/ Anxiety

Book Recs: YA Fiction with Protagonists that have Anxiety Disorders

Here are a few gems you may or may not know about already, in the YA genre with a large focus on their MC’s anxiety and mental health. I’ll also add that all three of these have a happy ending (Not a 13 Reasons Why or All The Bright Places level of devastation). All three are relatively short, I read them in about a day or two each.

Turtles All the Way Down By John Green

Aaaaah! This one is so so good! I’ve been a fan of John Green since about 2014 (I was a little late to the party), but this is actually by far my favorite book by him. It’s true that most of his protagonists deal with social anxiety and/or depression (especially in his megahits Looking For Alaska & The Fault in Our Stars) so this isn’t a subject matter that was new from Green. But Turtles just felt entirely fresh and different from him, Aza’s anxiety was a central part of her story and was written with such a candid stream of consciousness. It was brilliant and gripping and heartbreaking to read. I’d argue that Aza is John Green’s most interesting protagonist so far, rather than his signature, which is to have the MC’s love interest steal the spotlight.

Aza deals with OCD, Germaphobia, some Agoraphobia, and just general social anxiety.

The Rest of Us Just Live Here by Patrick Ness

This is the only book I’ve read by Ness (though his Chaos Walking Trilogy is constantly being recommended to me) and I wholeheartedly adore it. It’s got such an out of the box concept (a group of teens living in a very Hellmouth-esque town, who are not the “Chosen Ones”) and quirky cast of characters. The MC, Mikey, copes with OCD and social anxiety that is at times debilitating for him as he navigates the ups and downs of senior year with his ragtag friend group. Mikey has ordinary problems and ordinary worries on top of living in a town cursed by chronic weirdness and extraordinary catastrophe. It’s such a fun and thoughtful POV and break from the normal because it’s about someone who is so “normal”. I love it, read it please.

(Gay side character, and questioning MC)

10 Things I Can See From Here by Carrie Mac

This book is so cute and relatable as hell for me personally. Carrie Mac isn’t as widely known as Green & Ness, but she has written about 15 novels, some of which I’ll have to check out after reading this one. 10 Things I Can See From Here follows Mauve as she is sent to live with her father, stepmother, and twin brothers for 6 months while her mother is away in Haiti with a new boyfriend. She’s leaving some mysterious drama behind her (that is slowly unveiled) along with her comfortable home and coping mechanisms to help deal with her severe neuroticism. While dealing with the family drama of a new baby sibling on the way and an addict father who may be slipping off the wagon, Mauve manages to keep running into a cute girl who is full of welcome distraction. This book is super sweet, I really liked the story and the MC, not as crazy about the writing style. I can’t quite put my finger on what was bugging me about it, but regardless it wasn’t such a big deal that I couldn’t enjoy this story.

(MC is a lesbian, w/w relationship, TW for sexual assault, TW queer bashing slurs, TW for drunken behavior/abuse)

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