i have so many thoughts about phil and sunny and tubbo and this is going under a read more because it got really long lol

disclaimer that i don't watch phil super often! i watch qsmp with a crow friend who keeps me updated on his streams, so he's probably one of the characters i'm most familiar with outside of tubbo, but that's obviously not quite the same as me directly watching his streams. also this is only my interpretation and understanding of the characters, of course!

Phil is a bit of a hermit and doesn't know the other eggs that well; Chayanne and Tallulah are actually more social than their dad is. There are very few people on this island that Phil is actually close to, and Tubbo is one of them. That's kind of a double-edged sword when it comes to Phil's relationship with Sunny.

Phil kind of tends to extrapolate his relationship with Tubbo onto Sunny, because he doesn't know her well enough to realize that what works for him and Tubbo is not going to work for him and Sunny. It becomes a cycle, because Phil unknowingly does or says something that hurts Sunny, and then Sunny avoids being alone with him, so he doesn't get to know her well enough to realize that the way he treats Tubbo is not how Sunny wants or needs to be treated.

This sets up a really interesting conflict and character dynamic here, especially because Tubbo is also extrapolating his own relationship with Phil onto Sunny. He doesn't really understand that Sunny has issues with Phil, because when he and Sunny are with Phil, he's usually focused more on his own interactions with Phil and the godkids' than Sunny's. Plus it's not like Tubbo and Sunny are often with Phil alone; usually Chayanne and Tallulah are there too, and there's not much reason for Sunny to be needing to interact with Phil one-on-one.

And while Sunny has told Tubbo a little bit about how they feel with Phil, he's also observed them having issues with Tallulah, Leo, and even Richas now, and he's also watched those issues clear up. There's no reason for Tubbo to assume that her issues with Phil are any different. The nature of Tubbo's role as a buffer between Sunny and Phil means that he hasn't been able to observe the interactions that caused the problem. If Tubbo's there, Tubbo's the one they're both interacting with more just due to the fact that he's more present in both of their lives.

But here's the thing with Phil being a hermit. The issue isn't just his relationship with Tubbo; it's also that his children always come first. We've seen that even before we met Sunny. He was completely convinced that he had to win Purgatory because no one would be looking out for his kids except himself, not realizing that the leader of Soulfire was trying to get back the exact same eggs. For Phil, it's extremely black and white.

And so when he's alone with Sunny, when he's looking at her as an egg rather than as Tubbo's daughter, he puts his kids first. He's happy to do whatever he can to help. He collected items for cookies for all of the eggs on the island for a reason! He cares a lot about the eggs, even from a distance. He's just not the type of person to wait to feed his kids until the other kids are fed too, because his first priority has to be Chayanne and Tallulah.

But his limit is anything that could put his own family at risk. Which is understandable! He has two kids to look out for. But Phil is extremely pragmatic, and so he tells Sunny exactly the truth. She can stay with him, but his kids come first. Tallulah has been hurt, so her feelings come first. He's very good at making sure his kids are taken care of, and he's very good at weighing the risks, and he's honest about it once he has.

Which would maybe be perfectly fine for some other eggs, but the thing is, Phil doesn't know Sunny. He's treating her the exact opposite of the way she needs to be treated, but he doesn't know her well enough to realize it. He's spent a lot of time around her without actually getting to know her, because there's always that Tubbo and Chayanne buffer. So he doesn't realize that they don't need to be treated the way he treats Tubbo. She needs to be treated the way he treats Tallulah. They need to be told that it's okay to feel scared and abandoned, and that they are loved, and that someone will always be there for them.

(Chayanne does realize that. He's a very good godbrother.)

I hope someday Phil will get to know Sunny better and realize better ways to communicate with her, though I do understand that there will always be the issue of his kids coming first, while Sunny desperately needs people who put her first. (And gosh, how awful must it have been for them to lose Creation, who called them rank one, and told them they were loved, and then left them just like everybody else.) They'll never have the relationship Tubbo has with Phil's kids, and that's okay. But I hope that Sunny can one day look at Phil and know that she is loved, even if it's not exactly the kind of love she's been searching for.

I have been marinating on something for the last day.

For roughly ten years I have been sharing my analysis of different aspects of THG books, but I started writing in depth character analysis before I ever joined the fandom. By nature of analysis they are subjective to comprehension, education, and personal experiences, however, I do my absolute best to keep them as unbiased as possible.

I understand that what I offer may not be what you've interpreted, and that's fine. We can discuss where we're each coming from, and agree to disagree if we don't come to an understanding. There are some things that I've shifted on over the years as I learn more about classic literature and symbolism, and even people pointing out text in a way that I never noticed. My mind continually seems to be blown by these books.

What's completely uncool is to not only tell me that my analysis is wrong, but that Susanne Collins wouldn't want me to interpret what I did, they way I did.

Motherfucking what now?? The two of you bffs? You discuss this over brunch??

So what's my beef? It stems from the kerfuffle from a few days ago where there was a bit of arguing over Katniss and whether she felt sexually aroused when Gale kissed her in 2. I did't know this was hotly debated issue till after. The person was complaining about Gale and so I offered some insight by linking my Gale analysis, (which I've already decided needs to be rewritten because there's things I'd like to add or provide further clarification on).

My analysis is metaphorical, specifically comparing THG to Dante's Comedies and how the series is Katniss's own journey through the seven hells to paradise through spiritual transformation.

They said they agreed with everything except Gale having sexual feelings for Katniss (weird take, but okay). I went on to explain that Gale represents the most base of men, and that that he's meant to provide contrast to the feelings she has for Peeta, which elevate above sexual desire to a more spiritual level. Specifically, the cave kiss, when Katniss first realizes that she does not want to lose the boy with the bread, mirrors the kiss in 2 with Gale, in which she realizes Peeta will never come back or she’ll never return and she’ll go to the Capitol to die, and he’ll die hating her… all while Gale is actively kissing her neck. And because nothing matters anymore she kisses him back:

“Gale’s touch and taste and heat remind me that at least my body’s still alive, and for the moment it’s a welcome feeling. I empty my mind and let the sensations run through my flesh, happy to lose myself.”

They then tell me that Katniss only feels arousal 2-3 times in the book (whereas I believe it's more, but they're feelings that aren't worth mentioning because those feelings aren't important, but there's hints in the narrative of her desire for Peeta, often in bed) and that what she felt while Gale was touching her wasn't arousal. I say let's agree to disagree, and then they @ me TWO more times to continue to tell me I'm wrong and the bit about SC. So they're blocked, which I have never done before, beside porn bots.

PSA for the folks that don't know this because they haven't experienced these yet:

There's a difference between sexual arousal from physical stimulation, being sexually attracted to a person, and being with someone you're in love with.

You can, in fact, be aroused by someone you're not at all attracted to, it's a physical response to stimuli. Even rape victims have felt sexual arousal, which is totally normal, though generally leaves them with a sense of shame and horror. So yes, Katniss was aroused, but not actually attracted to Gale. Again, this provides contrast to what she feels with Peeta!

"I kissed Peeta about a thousand times during those Games and after. But there was only one kiss that made me feel something stir deep inside. Only one that made me want more. But my head wound started bleeding and he made me lie down. This time, there is nothing but us to interrupt us. And after a few attempts, Peeta gives up on talking. The sensation inside me grows warmer and spreads out from my chest, down through my body, out along my arms and legs, to the tips of my being."

When she's referring to how she feels with Gale it's described physically and she uses the word "flesh". What she feels with Peeta is far far more than sexual arousal. She's not saying she's horny. Katniss feels this in her soul: "to the tips of my being".

You don't have to agree with me, but if you're going to come at me with half baked theories at least back it up with textual evidence, and not like throw some bullshit at me. Stop projecting your own shit on these characters and then calling it #cannon!!

Okay so, I got high for the first time in awhile and I'm thinking about Sunny just, It's weird that I always do, near obsessively, have since October of 2022. It's just like, my favourite thing to love and to think about, but I have been watching for a lot longer than that. I'm just gonna delve on my pipeline from casual fan of this show to stan, cos I think it's interesting and I'm high so nothing is stopping me:

For over three years I've been watching this show on repeat, whenever I didn't have a scheduled show to watch, I'd pop it on. But I just watched it casually, normally, like haha funny bad people show kind of way (I am sorry). All I did was watch it over and over, sometimes see a funny viral Sunny Tweet and like it, and then the Podcast came out.

And it weirdly made me more into the show, more introspective about the characters. So I would interact on r/IASIP but they just, didn't really get it properly.

And then S15 aired and Reddit really didn't get it and Charlie Kelly was just this massive presence in my mind, and I wrote a silly little kidfic about him because I was just thinking and thinking. And Reddit didn't get it.

So I I tried to come onto Tumblr, but everyone shipped Macdennis and I. Did Not. like Dennis. I saw him how your average r/IASIP commenter sees him. (So sorry.) I thought shipping Macdennis was fun in a, like, asking Mac to get completely used and fucked over kinda way (again, so sorry). Imagine my shock walking into Sunnyblr with that idea. Tumblr liked Dennis.

So I just kinda did the Episodes on repeat/Podcast/Subreddit kinda vibe for awhile. And then I met Meg and talked to her, and I stood two feet away from Rob and I know it's cringey, lmfao, but something shifted further. I was talking obsessively to my bestie @macdennissurvivor and Twitter started showing me Dennis edits. And then I made a silly little Macdennis edit of my own.

Then I went to the live show in Philly. And the audience was miserable and oh my god none of them get it. But there's so much to get . And Glenn, wow, weird, interesting guy. (And he weirdly kinda clarified that Dennis wasn't straight.) The show was fine but the audience was miserable because none of them get it. They throw out lines and references and it's all a joke. But it's not all a joke, there's so much to get. They're not getting it. Please someone else get it.

And so I dipped my toe back on Sunnyblr. And I got more involved with Sunny Twitter and Nat (legal last name Paddysroyco) Tumblr user @boysareouttonight's Dennis edits were like the final nail in the coffin of being a stan.

I think something shifts when you are able to look past Dennis' facade and actually see the person inside, the character they won't let you see unless you really get it.

And the obsession begins, and continues, and is good to me, keeps me happy and everything here just tickles my brain and makes me engage and talk. And like there's real, actually insanely intelligent discussion on here and meta and analysis and theories and then there's the most cracked out post you've ever seen and then there's something that's somehow both and it's just something else.

I'm at an all-you-can-eat buffet after reaching into the depths of my cupboards for a month straight. And we're getting more, and a lot, and whatever it is is more content. Every frame, every title, every crumb we find, there's other people here who get it all and make it fun, in a way that's not tiring or eye-rolling or completely off the mark, in a way that keeps me full-steam rolling ahead and coming back.

This devolved a little, as thoughts do, but I am happy to be here, I guess. I'm looking forward to this fucking season and whatever lies ahead: whether it's dry for Macdennis or overwhelmingly wet, whether we get solid character development or some weird backsliding, a mix of both, if there's strange retcons or really fucking-good ones, any unexplained moments or looks or props, or expressions, I'm experiencing it all with people who get it. Maybe in a completely unhinged way, maybe in a crazy smart way, or a reasonably sober way, but always from a place of getting it.

We're getting Season 16, it's real, more to the story, more to piece together and layout and pick and prod and compare and re-tell (and re-write if you really want). In, like, 18 days. Fuck me up.

To Belong To Oneself - McGillis and Almiria's struggle for childhood autonomy

Although McGillis' marriage to Almiria and fervent desire to ensure her happiness are key points of the character, there is an understandable hesitance in the fanbase to discuss it in-depth. It's majorly uncomfortable to watch this adult man interact with a pre-teen in a pseudo-romantic fashion. The desire to just ignore it as best as possible is not unreasonable. But with the release of the new Almiria-focused side story, I really want to discuss what their relationship means to each of them and why it matters.

(Disclaimer: I don't think IBO does a fantastic job at disavowing less benevolent reads of the situation, but this post is about an interpretation of the text-as-is in which their relationship is, while inappropriate, not one of sexual abuse.)

The most striking thing established by "Almiria in Love" is that Almiria's desire to be perceived as an adult pre-dates even her first meeting with McGillis. It's a wish that exists de-coupled from all romantic ideas of love - a core of Almiria as an individual.

Through all of canon, Almiria is never seen playing with same age peers. Her only companions appear to be her adult maids and her adult older brother, however rarely he's home. While Gaelio, McGillis and Carta grew up around one another as playmates, Almiria appears to be fundamentally lonely. She is being raised isolated in a world made for adults, and she is painfully aware of it.

Almiria can't find anyone in the world to take her seriously. All her social contacts treat her (rightfully) as a child and there are no peer relations to balance this out. When Almiria desires to become a grown-up, it's a desire for autonomy, respect and companionship.

It's not that Almiria wants to be an adult in order to become a wife. It's that Almiria, after meeting McGillis, wants to become a wife in order to be an adult. Someone worthy of respect and consideration.

And that's precisely why she quickly becomes obsessed with McGillis once they do meet - McGillis is the only one who thinks of her wishes, her reputation, who gives her the same respect he'd give someone of the same standing. Almiria is too young to truly understand love, but she does understand the thrill of finally being taken seriously.

In a lot of ways McGillis is not just her adult fiancé but also her first friend - the childish nickname 'Macky' certainly speaks to it.

The other striking part of "Almiria in Love" is McGillis' offer to break the engagement should Almiria disagree with it. Is this a genuine offer? Is this a real possibility?

I'm going to argue that it's not. McGillis is as trapped as Almiria here - their engagement is made by their fathers, both of whom seem to see them as property and political tools. McGillis doesn't have any input here, no alternatives. He has to marry another of Sevens Stars bloodline to strengthen Iznario's position - and it can't be Carta, because Iznario is already her guardian and thus making further ties to her family would be redundant. It can't be Gaelio or Iok because the Seven Stars run on bloodlines (at least as far as appearances are concerned) - McGillis is expected to produce an heir eventually.

Yet McGillis gives Almiria a choice. Why?

McGillis does not want Almiria to ever feel as helpless and powerless as he once did. After all, if there is anybody who can understand the horror of being sold to an adult stranger, it's McGillis who has experienced it.

He treats Almiria with all the kindness he can muster in order to ensure that she feels like the wedding is, to a degree, her own choice. To give her that illusion of security and protect her from distress.

Through protecting Almiria, McGillis can protect his own younger self by proxy.

With that in mind, it's extremely important that McGillis uses "ore" as a personal pronoun for this line - a pronoun McGillis only uses on the show when he is speaking as a child or when he narrating his childhood and acting based on his childhood trauma. His usual personal pronoun is the more polite "watashi".

But here, in this moment, bathed in the golden glow of sunset, McGillis is speaking from the bottom of his traumatized heart. By meeting Almiria, he's been granted an opportunity to save himself.

But that doesn't mean that McGillis is actually in favor of child marriage. Rather, he seems to be the person most opposed to it.

When the topic is first introduced, we are treated to a near-claustrophobic close-up shot of McGillis' darkening gaze. Even as he says that it's alright, he is clearly not happy about the concept.

At the engagement party, we are shown a more obvious disavowing of the relationship forced upon them by their families. "The fate that we'll face" can only refer to their wedding in this context - chronologically, this takes place before McGillis sets any of his schemes into movement.

So then, why does McGillis play along with the pseudo-romantic aspects of their dynamic so much?

For one, he truly believes this. Almiria is the finest of all the ladies here, because she is innocent. Unspoiled by society, by vain quests for power. McGillis hates the high society he is constantly socializing in. He finds them arrogant, lazy and corrupt. Almiria represents complete purity to McGillis - the ultimate incarnation of 'something worth protecting'.

And then, of course, he wants to make Almiria happy. Almiria's happiness means saving himself, it means making Gaelio's death mean something, it means reaching his goals.

So, what makes Almiria happy? This play at romance certainly seems to! Ultimately, McGillis has no frame of reference for healthy child development. When he was Almiria's age, he already had a body count. How is he meant to interact with her? What boundaries does he need to set? It's anything but intuitive to him.

The easiest way to make her happy is to give her what she herself thinks she desires - to be treated as a full-fledged fiancée/wife.

I don't believe McGillis would ever touch her in a sexual way (he certainly knows the pain of that), but all the lip service to a romance between them? Sure, he'll play the part if it makes her smile. McGillis is a very theatrical person - give him a role, and he'll do it justice.

And even then, there is an interesting double meaning to scenes like this. When he promises Almiria a world in which everyone can love whomever they wish, Almiria interprets this to mean a world where their union is not a laughingstock. But for McGillis, who resents that they were forced to get engaged in the first place, this means a world in which Almiria could have grown up and chosen her own husband, whenever she was ready. A world in which weddings like theirs don't exist to begin with.

But of course, things can't go on like this forever. Almiria as the representation of a younger McGillis can't be kept safe forever, because McGillis is incapable of not picking at his own wounds.

His schemes, his attempt murder of her brother, all get back to Almiria.

McGillis' "then kill me" lines are, in my opinion, likewise genuine. He does not truly believe that she would, but if there is anybody who's judgement he'd accept, it is hers. She's more precious than his life because she represents the core of his goals.

For that reason, what he cannot accept is her ending her own life - that'd mean it was all for nothing. I don't think it's a coincidence that Almiria is the only person McGillis ever discloses to that he used to be suicidal. Driving her to the same point of despair that he was in as a child is the hardest hitting punishment for McGillis.

Still, he is unwilling to give up.

No matter how long it takes, he will make Almiria happy. He will save himself through her.

It is not coincidence that the hand wound he obtains in his attempt to save her almost costs him his life when it hinders his piloting. McGillis has already failed by letting it get this far. He's already tainted the one thing he wanted to preserve. It's only Isurugi's intervention that spares his life in that moment.

(As a side note, McGillis calling her a 'troublesome woman' in this moment of fleeting irritation once again speaks to how little sense he has for age as a genuine factor in anything. "What's a child? A small adult?" - part of the reason he can give Almiria the respect she craves is because he himself, in his stunted development, does not fully comprehend the gap between them.)

Almiria and McGillis are two people who seek their own fulfillment through the other. They are not in love, but they do love one another. Desperately, they crave the realization of their ideal self through their connection. Autonomy, safety. Happiness.

Naturally, McGillis dies with Almiria as his main regret.

He was going to make her happy. He was going to make himself happy. He was going to undo the past through her future.

One day, in a world where children can belong to themselves.

anywho, after "something (just like this)" concluded I've now been thrust into a Deku phase and started rereading 'unconventional' which made me realize its amazing how you write for each character like they're your ultimate favorite and you're madly in love with them. Eons ago I asked who your fave in bnha was and you answered Bakugou. I'm 99% certain it has changed to Shouto by now but fics like 'incendiary' would make me believe it...til I open your Tumblr and see the truth LOL

Ariiiiiiiiiii pls I am smiling like a fool rn!!!!! Thank you so much!!! My fave is in fact Shouto, :') how far I have come from 2020 Andie....

I do love all of these characters dearly though and it's fun to think about the admirable qualities in each of them, how they would act if they were in love, and what they might be & look like when they get older!! I am so happy my focus shines through for you when I'm writing the different romantic leads!! Now if only I was brave enough to branch out further from BNHA...

Omg can we scream over SJLT though??? You wanna talk about fics written like they are in deepest love with a character?? (When I know for a fact Mermie wanted so desperately to go back to writing Bakugou lmao). The depth and dimension Mermie gave Deku not just as a romantic lead but as an adult hero with a devastating set of responsibilities is unreal. It's aspirational to me as a writer; I hope to one day be able to emulate even the tiniest sliver of that in my own romantic leads.

Omg I am so happy you've finished it because I have been dying to talk to someone who isn't Mermie about it. She is the love of my life but she super sucks at identifying her own strengths and owning her own successes lmao, so I can't ever discuss with her without having a second window open looking for plane tickets so I can go to her house and shake her stupid. Would love to hear what you think now that you've finished it!!!!!!

Why Kawi is so Ace-coded (and anxious)[Cinematography wise]

I decided in order to keep discussing and analyzing Be My Favorite EP10 with @pinkkop and @rocketturtle4 posts on board, I want to point out more details and signs. Disclaimer: I may not know the depth of sexually-undesiring allo people but I know my visual storytelling tools when I see some.

It seems like there are two camps of viewers who view Kawi as ace vs who view Kawi as just hesitant to changes/intimacy. As a proud and hopeful member of the first camp, I want to show why do I think Kawi always felt somewhat ace-apec, but especially it kicked the ace people right in the heart in Episode 10. We talked about all the too intentional lines (ace-core from Kawi and ace-phobic from Max & Pisaeng) so I'm not pausing for them much.

So, Kawi has gone 30 years without relationship or sleeping with someone, or even trying. As @pinkkop said, how come he realizes he's queer only now? We have Max and Pisaeng who know they're gay for years, and a lot of queer people find their heart doesn't align with society norms in youth. But ace people often don't realize they are queer until 20+ or even 30+.

Kawi has lived with his romantic crush on Pear for years and a couple of time travels. As we know, he doesn't know how to navigate the relationship once he gets it, once he starts dating her, he can't give her marriage and a kid (partially because he was not ready and it wasn't what he needed/wanted, he wanted only the idea of dating Pear and stop being a loser). Not once he commented or agreed with Not & friends talking about Pear being hottest girl in uni (tho mostly it was Pisaeng dealing with it) – Kawi liked her for being kind and caring.

But then, he fell in love with Pisaeng. He started dating Pisaeng. Is he ready to go further? No, and there could be plenty of reasons, ranging from anxiety, self-doubts and trauma to lack of desire. He drank just to be able to kiss him, ffs. I am sure Kawi has a lot of psychological things holding him back from trying, it's been established, but that's not all of it in my opinion.

I'll put the rest under the cut because I feel like this post will be too long with all the screenshots, feel free to read the rest of it and let me know your thoughts~

Whenever in BL main characters end up on one bed, it's almost inevitable trope of 'will they won't they'. BMF teased us the other day with the drunk brave kiss from Kawi:

And that's how you show someone's desire to kiss: Kawi was staring at Pisaeng for minutes (notably, Pisaeng didn't have any thoughts until Kawi demanded attention and meaningfully stared some more). Everything slows down, you get some slow music, you cut down to faces/details to express emotions and let the viewer absorb the atmosphere (romantic or sexual or even inner dramatic turmoil – all the important bits use tools like this).

That's how I know Kawi wants to kiss. Kawi will want to keep kissing Pisaeng even when sober, once he gets past his block. Yeah, ace people can be comfortable with kissing too.

But do we ever get an impression Kawi wants to have sex with Pisaeng? Are we ever shown this? Not in my humble opinion.

Kawi doesn't touch Pisaeng much when kissing him. In fact, I think that scene is the only instance. We have talked about how intentional not-touching is seen with Pisaeng and Kawi relationship development, sorry I won't find those comments now. Then Kawi conveniently gets what he wanted (da kiss) and falls back asleep:D While Pisaeng is having his slow-close-up romantic moment by himself:

Now, fast forward to the future (but not the Future future) - Kawi is sober, lies in bed with Pisaeng (way less sober last night), already happy in a brand new relationship... and the only thoughts he's having is how Pisaeng is good looking and they are dating now.

I think I can safely bet how in all the other BLs there is usually a moment to close up on the romantic interest's face, or lips, longing stare showing the MC's desire to be intimate with your love. It's in 99% of the shows. Kawi has none of it. He just has a funky cute dialogue in his head that says 'I just want to keep staring at him' (and nothing else huh?)

The next trope BLs just love to use is someone undressing in front of their crush/partner. Let me just pull the scene from The Eclipse out (I wish I could compare it to P'Waa other works but BMF is his first BL, yet he definitely knows how to use visual tools)

Here at 2:25 we have Akk, a guy, inexperienced with dating and relationships too AND having insane amount of trauma, anxiety, self-doubts and holding back. So much that he has to break down crying several times to allow himself seek his own love and happiness. And yet in the beginning of his journey he still CLEARLY shows his interest in Ayan, even when they are enemies/rivals. It comes with:

staring at Ayan, looking him up and down, swallowing, turning his head away (indication of being flustered and having dirty thoughts)

close-ups on Ayan undressing

sexy music as bgm

And then we get his feelings and desire confirmed with very hot bed kiss that Akk, turns out, literally fantasized. (i actually was headcanonning akk as ace-spec but i accepted that wasn't the case as the show went on and we got shown more so yeah i can change my mind but kawi is heavily aced in 10 episodes and it's not stopping so far)

Compare the similar scene and trope with Kawi and Pisaeng undressing. Kawi is confused, mildly annoyed?, not a single swallow or eyes running away until he takes a hint (accompanied by the familiar sound that BMF uses for 'oh shit' realization). Funky comedic music on the background (and we know BMF does have osts for the romantic mood). Most importantly, there is never close-up/detail shot on Pisaeng.

Detail shots are 100% the go-to when you want to show desire, as I already said. Put a close up on the detail on someone else's body and add person's face reaction. Boom, you've got it.

Like, see the difference? Do you see it? That's Akk's POV.

And that's Kawi's POV:

Mind you, these are ALREADY BRAND NEW BOYFRIENDS. All poor Pisaeng gets is half- and full-body shots (adding to the comedy/simply telling what's happening), no slowing down the narration - and all the detailed looks on his body are simply out of focus, on the edge of the frame. I am fascinated by this cinematography.

We literally can see the book Kawi reads clearer than Pisaeng having his sexy striptease alone. Kawi is more interested in reading Sherlock Holmes than ogling Pisaeng and fantasizing about being close to him (even with all the inner turmoil he could be having – he is having it later, once he catches up on Pisaeng's blunt hit of inviting him to the shower and condoms in his backpack). it's also funny how kawi has the time to nag pisaeng about towel but since it's improv from krist to gawin who kept forgetting it, i'm not taking it seriously

Even then, his thoughts are confidently said out loud 'can we not have any sexual activities at all?', avoiding staying alone with Pisaeng in his room, 'i don't want to ride, i'm just here to take the vibes' (and while Pisaeng is upset and sad from the failed metaphor, Kawi genuinely thinks their date was great, this was enough for him, Kawi is brutally honest with Pisaeng, he wouldn't say this if he really didn't think so).

I can't remember any instances where sexy close-up shots were used in Kawi's POV. Only with kissing. Adding all the dialogue lines from Kawi and answers from others that are painfully precisely familiar for majority of ace people, adding how Kawi never has thought dirty thoughts until he clicked on people suggesting them (and not enjoying it)... I am dying on this hill and begging BMF not to fuck this up. Please don't give me ace erasure when ace-spec!Kawi has been hinted so heavily through several storytelling tools. They can meet in the middle, I just want BMF to be caring to Kawi and his feelings and not force him to cater to Pisaeng's needs because that's 'what happy boyfriends do and turns out, he did need to try it first to learn that he craves it!'

P.S. I do know Pisaeng and Kawi talked before the last scene and we'll 99.9% see it later, I'm also 90% sure Pisaeng time travelled in Ep.10, and I would be pleasantly surprised if we end up with Kawi and Pisaeng not going too far when they explore being intimate for the first time.

Oh, about the last scene. I had many mixed feelings (and was surprised to see people commenting how awww romantic and touching it was), because Krist shows a lot of internal struggle for Kawi (and no, not because he doesn't wanna kiss Gawin, fight me).

(nicely colored gifs by @piningbisexuals that portray everything i want to point out, thank you)

It's the blinking eyes, heavy breathing as soon as Kawi sheds his shirt, the swallowing, neck muscle twitching, furrowed determined eyebrows) and several little nods when he responds to 'Are you sure'?

It's very intentional acting. It's fucking brilliant acting in showing Kawi's anxiety and gosh, Kawi is being so brave to take this challenge and change his whole life once again, I might cry. If he turns out to be ace, I might actually cry but like I pointed out before, for me Kawi's lack of sexual desire is very readable. But no matter what, I have my trust in BMF to tread Pisaeng and Kawi intimacy carefully, it's been great so far and P'Waa knows what he's doing and how he is filming. I just hope it aligns with my wishful thinking.

today, on this varyingly chilly day of the twenty-fifth of december, we commemorate the death and roast of the blessed squawkcoo, laying the way for the noble chewbacca to realize the error of his ways and repent consuming porgkind. as the porg so loved to do with his brethren, we remember his sacrifice by sharing how much we enjoy each other's company...

alright, alright, alright, enough jokes! merry christmas, god jul, fröhliche weihnachten, and happy holidays to everyone on the dash from a shockingly snowy oklahoma! whether you're celebrating something today or eating chinese (or in one confirmed case, middle eastern) food, i hope you're having a wonderful day. you all bring me such joy through your presence, and i hope (as i'll inevitably forget someone) if you don't find yourself on here, you know i still deeply appreciate you. i laugh, i cry, i squeal almost every day, all because of you and your muses. you're all so supremely talented, and i adore everything you produce.

now, without further ado...

FRIENDS, CORELLIANS, SITH LORDS: LEND ME YOUR DROIDS

@graysistance / @lionthought / @commandsir / @greenscrunchy & your plethora of blogs which are starting to rival the number of mine — PUCK, you beautiful, wonderful, sweetheart of a saltdish, you've listened to the ups and downs of my year side by side with hackett, always finding the time to come up with a comforting or encouraging word. your kindness is the sort of thing people like to claim their friends have, but you truly possess it. i adore talking about history with you, spinning out context with so many subjects we speak of, let alone specifically the group wwii au. your support for my various crafting projects always brings a smile to my face. i love to see the things you fun and across, including your growing collection of legends books. i adore how you characterize each of your characters, giving them the depths of compassion and forethought that so many hold. your internal dialogue is absolutely stunning and our plots make me giggle hysterically.

@aniimvs / @scoundrvls / @honorhunt / @hellmartyr & your equally numerous blogs of which each is perfection — HACKETT, considering how intrinsically tied you and puck are in equal measure to my time on this hellsite, i wish i could you both side by side at the top of this list. sadly, this is not a tumblr feature..... yet. in this year of coding and dash tumult, you have soldiered on behind the scenes irl, kicking names and taking ass, while popping up to deliver exquisite pain, cause minor chaos, and be the saltmine you are. our discussions of just how bad a certain... pad.mé writing author's work is brings me life. your technical history knowledge is top notch and i adore all you bring to the wwii au so much, let alone the jp and lotr aus you and puck have worked on. you, more so than perhaps anyone i write with are the queen of establishing a setting. i always love seeing where you decide to set a not established location thread and to build off the descriptions you give for it. it lends an effortless star wars vibe to everything... let alone your depth for your grey and dark muses... *chef's kiss*!

@carnalstress — literal best friend, JESS!!!!! even though i've only managed to the once so far, i am SO happy that i live close enough for us to visit each more often, and i'm so glad you're back to writing on tumblr. you bring so much comfort and joy into my life with your conviction and your kind heart. i admire your dedication to your field even when things get tough and that you're trying to find new avenues in it. you are such a wonderful friend. and your cat is the cutest thing. i hope this next year is the best one yet!

@debelltio / @impostre — ALISTAIR, you are perhaps the newest friend amongst this section of the list, but you are no less dear. i love the subjects we have crossing over interests and experiences in, from living in multiple cultures, to law, to history, food and beyond. i've really loved getting to know you over the last few months, and you do such a lovely job with orson and all your muses. it is just a whole wonderful thing.

@colpapabear — annika! i love that we've written together for so so long and bonded over so many different things. i especially love the vintage clothing and knitting discussions we've had of late. they bring me so so much joy. watching you take leaps and bounds in both and produce such pretty things is the literal best.

@darkestshadeofgrey — listen, i neeeed to respond to our threads because every single one without fail is a plot i am wild for. your characterize your muses so interestingly and each is so very compelling. and even though i'm often late to respond, i ADORE the star wars tiktoks you send me, so often so much pain.

@heirite — i know you haven't been on for a bit, but i'm very much hoping you'll come back and see this! you are such a lovely friend, and i adore your ben to pieces. he brings me such joy, and with you off doing irl, i occasionally go back and read through your blog for that ben sky.walker goodness!

@notimminent — hey you! not that you've ever been truly gone but i'm so glad we've met up again. i can't wait to turn our plotting into threads for emma! you're a truly wonderful person and i'm so happy to have you back more regularly on my dash.

@acharnemcnt / @finaliseur— ame! i'm so very excited for some of the plots we're slowly working on and the threads we have in the works. you've also been so so kind. i very much enjoy your hux, and i'm thrilled about the new multi AND the ask blog AND rae. it's all so so cool!

@galaxycrxss / @hamadaxfighter — hey hey, i very much enjoy your clone squad. and the genius boy. watching you flesh out echo and hiro is a lovely thing, as well as hearing about all your ideas for the future!

@astraldestiny — listen, you adding winter hands down made my week! the plethora of legends characters you write never fails to bring me joy to see, and i enjoy writing and plotting with you so much. stay warm and i hope you enjoyed a christmas market! (next year when i go back, NEXT YEAR)

@multipleoccupancy — caraaaaaaaaa! no matter what you set your mind to on your multi or elsewhere, you do to perfection. it's been so lovely to write with you for so many years across so many genres and muses. our history threads will forever be my favorite!

@chokethelight — you you you, we haven't been able to write much this year, but whenever you pop in to say hello, or whatever version you decided to use that time, you bring a smile to my face! i hope 2023 is a better year for you. <3

@stillsails — i'm so glad to see you around again on tumblr! you've had so much happen!! i am so so so proud of/happy for you for all your accomplishments and milestones this year! keep being the lovely academic and wonderful writer you are.

@fasciinating — listen, whatever we're working on brings me much joy, and the friendship that spock and jaina are building is just lovely. plus, i've really enjoyed the headcanons you've written for that challenge, let alone your beautiful art!

to all those i really love writing and talking with but also hope todo more with this coming year:

@paramounticebound @gurrillero @fifthbornforrester @lunascientia @rubiesintherough @protectxthem @caedus @kylo-wrecked @keeve-trenniis @jaigalorad @mandogold @hopegained @ncxile @reawakcn @theysparked @becomelions @fatedtruths @vuulpecula @conniidel @withoutpeer @skjebne and everyone i inevitably missed, have the happiest of new years!

Having not played for quite a while now- though having played a LOT after launch... I find that My feelings on Tears of the Kingdom lead more towards dissatisfaction than anything else.

No hate to those who love it and enjoy every aspect!!



Don't get me wrong, I absolutely ADORE the original story that has been spun. I think it's intriguing and engaging and more. It's honestly the only reason I kept on playing after my first whole impression was done.

I also like the creativity and many elements of the game. The Depths, for one, have some of my favorite decorative plant life, and the designs of the Stewards I find to be very adorable and wonderful.

I am ALSO aware that the tales in and around The Legend of Zelda as a whole are TRAGIC. It's completely normal for the tone to be so sad and downright dismal at times.

But the game as a whole unit? I just.. so much of it is 'off' and just downright unpleasant for me. For one- one of my least favorite and biggest gripes is why oh WHY are those stones called SECRET stones?! That is one of the WORST possible things they could have been named/translated to. It warps the tone IMMENSELY especially as they're really not all that secret AT ALL. SACRED stones would have been divine and kept the tone much better... or something else. Secret stones is just... that's a "no" from me. Kills the mood every single time.

I don't know if the whole story of the Zonai is explained or revealed in further gameplay- but if it's not and that it's hinted at only a few times and never discussed... it's an extremely frustrating detail. There's always going to be mysteries, but this one had far too many chances to be explained and just wasn't (if it's not, of course... I don't rightly know- I stopped playing).

And then we get into actual gameplay....

I know now that it was a HUGE mistake to play Breath of the Wild right before diving into Tears of the Kingdom. My biggest mistake, in fact. I honestly didn't know how much I absolutely loved that game until faced with something so entirely different, but meant to be a part of it. And the controls... I was so used to my toggles being what they were that the change in TotK I still wasn't used to after over 105 hours of gameplay. I still messed up almost every time I needed to do something.

The menus too are just... there was no rhyme or reason to completely redesign them. Breath of the Wild had some amazing features and I feel the item screens was one of the that should have absolutely stayed. But instead they had a team completely and utterly revamp them. Very unpleasant and clunky to use.

There's also just... SO MUCH to do/keep track of. It honestly feels overwhelming in ways Breath of the Wild never was for me. There's so many quests, sure... but it just doesn't feel like you can take your time at all (or, if you do, like you're WASTING time)- and I HATE the quests that need you to do or be somewhere at a certain time of day... oof. So many shrines I just ignored because no thank you... AND all that stuff you can do? WAY harder. It is so challenging to do not only the shrines, but even basic side missions and quests. I seriously struggle with the poor Koroks because you really have to get it juuuuust right in so many ways. And if you mess up... welp. Be ready to just abandon it until the reset. (Accidently launching a Korok into the ocean when they needed to be up on a cliffside? ... That was some major frustration after the laughed 'oops.' for me T^T)

If it was a few hard challenges and/or tasks here and there I wouldn't be complaining, but the whole game is like that for me. Challenges after challenges after challenges to the point it killed my fun. Don't even get me started on how hard it is to build up Rupees (and I'm an AVID collector of items. The prices and difficulties there collecting enough with those SUCK).

All in all.. I was happy to see the progression of old characters, new faces, and the progression of the world as a whole... and yet they also did me SO dirty.... and Removed Kass- my all time favorite Rito- from the game entirely. Barely a whisper left of his existence. His challenges weren't always the most fun for me in BotW... but I was so happy to do them because I knew I got to see Kass again, progress his story, and I looked forward to the struggles I faced for such a well-written character.

I think I don't like this game because it's meant to be a challenge more than it's meant to really tell a whole, and wonderful (if tragic) story like Breath of the Wild was... and that makes me really sad. I haven't found much of it to be worthwhile enough to keep fighting through more of the game... and that's extra sad.

(also... controversial opinion- I don't like Ganondorf in this one. Something I haven't been able to put my finger on just feels wrong about the whole thing.)

On The Dissatisfying Characterisation Of Wanda Maximoff in DSMoM and a Brief Aside on the Misogyny Of Superhero Films

This is very long winded, unedited and has sat in my google docs since the day after DSMoM's release. I love it dearly.

Word Count: 3203

Warnings: Obvious spoilers for DSMoM, discussions of motherhood, discussions of the Red Room and violation of female autonomy, Fleur's thinly veiled desires to replace Joss Whedon and Michael Waldron for their poor writing, many rambles to many other essays that I will eventually write.

Please let me preface this by acknowledging that outside of this movie, there are definitely things done poorly with Wanda's characterisation, storyline, and the MCU in general. I will always be first and foremost a comic fan and champion, but the thoughts I had on this topic refused to leave until I wrote them. If anyone wants to discuss anything further, I'm more than open so long as conversation is civil. That being said, please enjoy my lengthy, unceasingly detailed thoughts on fictional, non-existent characters.

Let's begin!

Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness, while fantastical and a great delivery on a genre bending superhero film, is not without its faults. In particular, I’ll highlight the lack of carry over on Wanda Maximoff’s character growth from the entirety of the Marvel Cinematic Universe, inclusive of her show WandaVision. 

While she made for a compelling villain, it would’ve been much more satisfying for her characterisation to see the Darkhold’s corruption - also known as the main point of the film - to slowly seep into her as she grapples with knowing her children and husband are so close yet so far away, and that she has the power to find them on hand. To have it hidden from the other characters that she was in possession of the very thing they fought to destroy, and using it, would’ve made the film infinitely more meaningful as it would’ve portrayed just how broken am individual she had become, and empathy would have flown out from the audience - after all, who doesn’t know the experience of being at your wits end, so close to the happiness you want in life yet so, so far away? 

Yes, we could empathise with her from the first scene, we’re quite literally led into the depths of her grief. We see the life she could’ve had in some reality that wasn’t as cruel, the love and support that used to come from the very people she lost.  We’re brought to a bright colour palette with sweeping shots, showing the joy and chaotic nature of motherhood, with hints of a Wanda we’ve only briefly seen in the illusion of Wandavision. The choices made in the mise en scene of the moment tell as all we need to know - from Wanda’s brown hair reminiscing her days of Sokovian childhood, where she would watch sitcoms with her family and run rampant with her twin brother, to the athleisure wear of her outfit symbolising her comfort in this reality and the brightness of everything in this scene portraying the brightness within Wanda when she is with those she loves. After being comforted by this scene, the filmmakers tear the illusion apart and cruelly reveal Wanda’s withered state, a broken woman climbing out of bed, facing the nightmare of her true life. The colour palette dims, reflecting the life flowing out of Wanda, the score is ripped from our ears. We are left with the stark, soundless reality of grief, a tear teased out of our eyes akin to those so freely falling from Wanda’s.

I’m also led to note the absence of Vision, her husband, in this dream scene. Even within an idyllic reality, she subconsciously believes she must sacrifice something - after all, it has been compounded throughout her life. This notable absence is seen throughout the movie but is not without commonality in the MCU - they like to replace one loss in Wanda’s life with the newest. Throughout Age Of Ultron the closeness of the twins - Pietro and Wanda - is conveyed. From checking on each other in battle, speaking without words, tender platonic forehead kisses and their shared turmoil over their orphaning, their sibling relationship seems central to their characterisation. All moments lead up to Pietro’s sacrifice of life to save a young boy and the guttural, cutting scream Wanda releases while feeling the life seep out of her brother, the only longstanding family she ever had. You truly believe you can convince me that a woman, so close to her brother who she shares these sacrificial  ideals with, would be so easily corrupted by a Big Bad Evil Book that she’d kidnap and murder a child just to find happiness? There’s no true believability in that, especially when you factor in her longstanding temperament to sacrifice her livelihood for the good of others. Regardless of measures of believability, Marvel once again forefronts the most recent loss in Wanda’s life, her children, without properly concluding her connection to other losses. Sure, it can be argued that some closure was found during WandaVision over her brother’s death, but death stays with us forever. If grief, like Vision told Wanda, is love persevering, why would the love of her brother not factor into her search through the multiversal cosmos? During her speech at Kamar-Taj, where she highlights all the loss and sacrifice experienced in her life, it feels disjointed that she wouldn’t bring in the intimate loss of her brother, and furthermore it feels like a disservice to her character, who is so interpersonal and motivated purely by the desire for family and connection, that she only searches for a partially fulfilling reality where she just has her kids and not her husband and brother. It feels like another notice in a long list of missed opportunities by Marvel.

Further exploration of her memories - or even mentions of her passed brother - would’ve better fed into her role as the tortured hero. Through brief mentions of how she “blew a hole into the head of the man [she] loved,” we see the most recent of her losses, but what about those that initiated her grief? Those that set off a chain reaction in a long, complex process of sacrifice? Every fragment of her story in the Marvel Cinematic Universe films sees her sacrifice, lose something or suffer for great powers that seem to control her rather than the other way around. They exact a toll without the influence of the Darkhold, a concept that has been extremely compelling to audiences thus far, so why was her archetype as the tortured hero not explored in more depth? I again fall to the subject of subtle corruption, seeing a continued grapple with a hero who has lost so much in her life being tempted to maybe, just maybe, take something for herself. 

Even with the corrupting influence of the Dark Hold, I believe that Wanda wouldn’t accept without hesitation. To do so would negate the entirety of her growth in WandaVision, where she made the excruciating and gut wrenching choice to set the citizens of  Westview free, even at the cost of her personal happiness and the only thing she ever wanted - a family. In fact, it was this aching longing for family that led to Westview’s entrapment in the first place: the continual compounding of trauma in her life, accompanied by the fresh memory of having seen her husband’s corpse and being denied the right of a funeral for him - and, in extension, the right to grieve - sees her reactive magic cast out in a cascade of emotion, building her some modicum of comfort, even though she didn’t consciously decide to cast that hex. The conclusion of the series sees Wanda once again isolated in her grief, hoping for a moment to say hello again to the family that gave her life purpose. Even with these desires, she chooses to accept responsibility for her actions and leave Westview, retiring to a cottage in the woods. She can be said to be at a crossroads - in possession of the Darkhold and the knowledge that she is the Scarlet Witch but also still a hero at heart, continuing her life of sacrifice for the good of others. 

Wanda’s character would’ve better been developed in her own solo film, where her peril at being held captive by the Darkhold would be in the limelight, where a grapple with morality and who she believes herself to be falters under the sway of all she ever desired. Even prolonged exploration into other options to find her family, to bring her boys - her boys specifically, not multiversal iterations ripped away from their mother - back to life, would’ve better grown her. Even a throwaway line mounted by the enormity of her desperation, of how there was no other choice but to use the Darkhold, would’ve defined her in more sturdy strokes than the entirety of her so-called character arc in the film. To see a complex, multilayered descent into villainy that was something beyond the typical superhero trope of a powerful woman declining into madness when emotionally unstable would’ve truly grabbed my attention and held it hostage. Instead, we are greeted with an unrefined and underdeveloped character driven to the edge by a lack of motherhood, as if there weren’t a myriad of other intricate losses that guided her to the tyranny she now exacts.

The dichotomy between motherhood and monsterhood are seen as extremes for Wanda to oscillate between by the film’s writer, rather than a labyrinthine space for her to embody. The tenderness she holds for her children is conveyed as she dreamwalks, weeping twin tears of joy and grief as she is able to hold her children again, the American accent she adopted dropped for the Sokovian one she had hidden away, her true self bared in the emotional enormity of the scene. A masterful moment by itself, it is soon discredited by an uncharacteristic flip back to the search to steal America Chavez’s powers, which would subsequently kill the child. The believability is swept from beneath our feet, the Darkhold may make Wanda ruthless enough to go through with it, but should she not stumble? Should she not consider the horror her boys would feel upon discovering that is how she reached them? Again, Wanda’s nuanced character is cheapened to pigeonhole her as a deranged villain instead of the tortured person she is. Wanda’s lack of desire to renounce her quest to find family and understanding makes her out to be a monster. Yes, she is unjustifiably murderous and in the wrong during this film. Yet she is also more, and the film had the opportunity to showcase a multifaceted character who is neither hero, antihero or villain but failed. My disappointment lies within the threads of greatness weaved between the disorganisation, the possibility so easily seen that a woman may be characterised by more than just her relationship to motherhood. The sloppiness of it all cheapens the authority of Olsen’s acting, which brings more depth to the film than the writing ever could. (And I’m not even going to discuss the choice of Elizabeth Olsen as Wanda Maximoff instead of a Romani-Jewish actress, that’s discourse for another essay.)

Monsterhood vs motherhood has already been utilised by Marvel Studios to simplify female characters in the past, such as their painting of Natasha Romanoff as a monster for being unable to have children during Age Of Ultron. A child assassin, one raised in the most harrowing of environments where she constantly knew she was replaceable, that ruthlessness was the only currency she may trade in, where death must be a constant companion tucked close to her heart, reduced to one dimensionality over the fact that she has no uterus. Natasha Romanoff, who is arguably one of the most excruciatingly painful depictions of female agony, a woman who has been denied agency and self expression by the men in her life, is supposed to think herself an abomination for what someone else did to her? The plausibility of the situation is minimal. Though Natasha is known for her intensive self loathing and driven to help others to wipe the red out of her ledger, she understands the people who operate out of monstrosity: men like the handlers in the Red Room who tormented her. The Red Room is known to be a place that snatches young girls from their beds, removes their autonomy and gruellingly subjugates them into unrecognisable killing machines devoid of purpose beyond that which their trigger is aimed at, and a wombless woman is depicted as the true horror. Those people manipulated young girls into believing they only have the propensity for murder and bloodshed, yet the emphasis of monstrosity is enforced upon a woman who was unwillingly sterilised? How despicable modern media is, that its veiled misogyny positions women to believe themselves to be empty vessels that are only filled by the pursuit of motherhood.  A woman without the capacity for motherhood is deemed as a monster by a male writer, just as a mother without her children is worthless and incomplete. It’s as if the complexity of female superhero stories often goes undiscovered purely to simplify them into something easily categorizable, rather than something as murky, blurred and complicated as their male counterparts. 

Moreover, the femininity of characters is often used to credit them as easily disposable. Despite Wanda’s blatant villainy, she was still being possessed and corrupted by the Darkhold, an item that fed off of her trauma and twisted her innermost longings into hellish, insatiable desires. Any other character would receive attempts for help, to save them from this fate, and yet Doctor Strange dismisses the convolution of her situation with a simple “Wanda’s gone now,” treating her as an assailant, rather than a fellow soldier with whom he marched into battle with. Now, you may consider me crass or radical for this interpretation, and I would too, had we not recently received Spiderman: No Way Home from Marvel Studios. One of the prominent thematic issues of the film is that all are redeemable, and a considerable portion of the plot sees the protagonist attempt to remedy and help the afflictions of the antagonists. What is it that others Wanda from this fate, what separates her from these established and continual villains of the MCU? Why, she’s an emotionally unstable woman, and despite being corrupted by external influences that may be overcome by factors seen in the movie (say, the antithesis of the Darkhold, the Book Of Vishanti), Hollywood views her as utterly disposable. It is far simpler to discredit and toss away a powerful woman than it is to explore her in full complexity, to file her away in a long list of emotionally unstables than to exhibit the complicatedness that is her sum total, allowing her the space to grow beyond the limiting archetypes of hero and villain into something much, much more enticing. So many missed opportunities, so much thinly hidden misogyny.

During the final scenes of Doctor Strange In The Multiverse of Madness, we are once again shown a broken, grief stricken Wanda. While I think a slow corruption would’ve better serviced the continuity of her characterisation, I understand and acquiesce to the choices made here. Wanda, in her corrupted, ruthless state, is brought to the reality she’s been aching for. Her children are terrified as this is no longer the kind, gentle mother they know. They fear her. They scream at her. They beg her not to hurt them. This torrid rejection from the people she quite literally corrupted her soul for shatters her. As the only people she believes meaningful, it makes sense that they can pull the wool from her eyes (though I must wonder why Billy and Tommy did not fight back against this demented version of their mother with their powers, instead only throwing toys and cowering. It’s almost as if the writer likes to forget to incorporate details from a certain series called WandaVision - oh wait.) Wanda did not believe she was a monster, only a mother reaching out for the unconditional love of her children, and now she sees the extremity of her actions. It is laid out in front of her, the immense harm caused by placing her happiness over the safety of others. It truly feels as if the essence of this film was an undoing and redoing of Wanda’s growth in WandaVision, a keen cinematic cycle where self awareness ends in self abhorrence. It’s a film that we’ve seen played before, only now with amplified stakes and a lack of emotional depth that WandaVision brought. We see the same growth produced by WandaVision’s conclusion replayed in Multiverse Of Madness seemingly for no reason other than to have an intense, ruthless villain for Doctor Strange to project his moral quandaries onto. While extraordinarily enjoyable, the nuance of Wanda’s character was renounced to make her into a simple plot device. At the film’s conclusion she is no more and no less developed than she was in WandaVision, the only thing that may have doubled was her self loathing.

The ending of Multiverse of Madness is the only thing I can say was in step with any previous characterisation Marvel Studios has given Wanda. It parallels the position Wanda was in during WandaVision, when she becomes aware that her grief and trauma is spilling over onto and affecting the Westview citizens. It’s as if she’s brought to consciousness, and when she is, she is horrified. This self awareness ushers her to take accountability and do whatever is in her power to make things right by destroying the hex. While it is unseen by the Westview citizens, who have only felt her pain in vague extension and not comprehended the expansive trauma that brought Wanda to this moment, the audience understands Wanda’s true heart to help others, even at a cost to herself. Multiverse Of Madness’ ending somewhat depicts this sentiment too; it may be but a faint echo of the emotionally intune WandaVision, but I’ll take it. Other characters in the story don’t comprehend the full brunt of her motivations and suffering, even some of the audience do not. And despite Wanda doing everything wrong, we inexplicably cannot help ourselves but empathise and connect ourselves to her. We have all experienced the agony of being so close yet so far to that which fulfils us, desperate for what we believe will complete us. We all ache for true happiness and supportive love, to know that who we are is valid and that we are loved despite our flaws. Wanda is a character who craves love, the epitome of the human condition, and has no one and nowhere to receive it from. The only comfort she can receive at the end of the film, where she is left with the carnage of her actions, is to know that her boys will be loved. Only Wanda herself, though a multiverse variant, can understand the anguish of 616 Wanda. (Afterall, if our Wanda could dream of her children, 838 Wanda must be harassed with a nightly deluge of trauma where her boys disintegrate, her brother’s body fills with bullets and her husband has his forehead ripped apart.) And as she makes the choice to collapse the Wungadore Temple around herself, Wanda takes true responsibility for her harrowing villainy.

While not a satisfying conclusion to her journey, this end feels fitting. Wanda continues her sacrificial streak, this time forfeiting her life in order to close the Darkhold across the multiverse and ensure no others will be tempted by its corrupting force. I feel vast sadness for Wanda, a character whose main flaw is being ruled by her emotions and the longing for connection, one that so strongly resonates within myself. I feel deeply saddened by the trajectory of her journey, that no matter what path she takes, self sacrifice or self servitude, she cannot find happiness or that which makes her life meaningful. While not a beautiful or redeeming end to one of my favourite characters, it eventually manages to reinforce the primary tenets of her character and hold a mirror to the tortured soul within us all.

You've reached the end! Congratulations, you deserve a cookie for your efforts. Thanks for taking the time to read, it means the world to me :)

Would you ever be willing to delve into Paul and Heather’s marriage and the abuse claims in more detail than in the episode about tough fandom discussions? I think it’s important because it isn’t approached with tact and fairness and is too easily brushed off.

Hello Anon! Thanks for the question. I don't think we'd dedicate an entire episode to this issue, (same as we wouldn't dedicate an entire episode to John's abuse issues) because I'm not sure there's that much to talk about (and going in-depth on the subject matter may be outside our pay grade). But we do agree that it is something that can and should be discussed in fandom by anyone who wants to explore it further. My advice for anyone who wants to learn more about Mills/McCartney would be to check out Philip Norman's "Paul McCartney The Life." IMO, Norman has very good, fair and thorough coverage of the Mills/McCartney marriage and divorce (including the abuse claims made by Heather). It's a bit complicated, because Mills was definitely not a reliable witness (as determined by the court) and even her own publicist recently claimed in a lawsuit that Mills lied about the abuse. That said, we certainly won't tell anyone to believe or disbelieve Heather's claims. We think people should read them for themselves and make up their own minds. As far as Paul goes, I will say this: Paul was physically abused by his otherwise loving, loyal, affectionate and involved father - a man Paul adored (but Paul's best friend characterized as controlling). Paul continued to admire, respect and LOVE this man throughout his entire life. He has also remained fiercely loyal and protective of his father's reputation, endlessly singing his praises (see his reverent tribute to Jim in Liverpool Oratorio) and going on the record numerous times about Jim’s strong moral character. For all of his famous life, Paul has hid or downplayed his father's abuse, and relentlessly pushed the biographical narrative that his upbringing was positive, happy and free from trauma. In reality though, it seems a large portion of his childhood was spent learning to rationalize the abuse he suffered from his (otherwise terrific) dad. I’m not a mental health professional, so someone more educated than me would be better able to discuss the psychological effect this would have on a developing child/adolescent. However IMO, Paul has numerous risk factors for being in abusive relationships, on either end of the spectrum (abused and/or abuser). That in itself isn't proof of anything, but it's something I hope people will consider when they evaluate Paul.

-Phoebe

daily genshin advice 1/5 - let's talk about crit value and level 90!

Hello everybody! Sorry about yesterday's lack of post, my mouse died and I wanted it to fully charge so I couldn't rlly use my computer bc of the way its set up. This post is a bit late bc I was busy all day but I'm hoping to get back to the earlier + consistent posts. Today I'll be talking about crit value and which characters to level 90! Let's begin!

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊·̩̩̥͙＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊·̩̩̥͙＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊·̩̩̥

┌── ⋆⋅daily discussion: crit value⋅⋆ ──┐

I'm gonna tell you how to find crit value before explaining what it is since its a bit easier for me this way

the crit value of an artifact is:

crit rate x2 + crit damage

If your artifact has let's say, 10 crit rate and 20 crit damage, congrats it's 40 CV! (crit value)

ok but, why does any of this matter?

You probably know or have heard that the ideal crit ratio is 1:2. Here's why this specific balance is important

if you have too much crit rate, your crits aren't as valuable because your crit damage isn't high enough to substantially increase your damage

if your crit damage is too high, there's no reason to have it because it does nothing until you crit which happens rarely

Crit value is kinda just an easy way to compare artifacts strength

Now, let's talk about what crit value you should aim for

50CV is the highest possible. If you get a 50CV piece, hoyo has chosen you. BUT you shouldn't just keep farming the same domain until you get every single piece perfect 50CV because that's a 10 CV difference and, although cool literally not worth the resin in any way. getting a 50CV piece is like a surprise gift. Awesome to get but you don't live your life in anticipation of the gift or make friends in order to raise your chances of getting a surprise gift. Well I'm guessing you don't but idrk

ok moving on, let's talk about 40CV. 40CV is a more realistic goal. If 50CV is extra credit, 40CV is getting 100% on a test. It's great, it's awesome, and you don't need to try and improve it any further. BUT...

30CV is also fine if you hate artifact farming. 30CV is a decent piece, it functions! Personally I would reccomend getting 30CV pieces and only going for 40CV if you don't mind farming and want a super great build.

Also I won't like, come find you if you use a 20CV piece. It's not like great or anything but who cares.

┌── ⋆⋅daily advice: level 90⋅⋆ ──┐

I talked about this a bit last time but I wanted to go more in depth\

Firstly, going full 90 on every character isn't very resource efficient and is honestly a bit of a waste for the tiny amount of damage you get but especially now, a lot of characters want the full lvl 90

Personally, I level 90 characters I love and I'm working on getting all the characters that need it to 90

With that being said, let's talk about the characters who need it

EM Scalers/Users ・❥・Transformative reactions (reactions that deal damage instead of multiply it + catalyze) scale off of both EM and character level. In teams like Hyperbloom or Aggravate, going to level 90 gives a large boost to this damage. Most people, including me, will say that EM scalers and Hyperbloom triggers need to be level 90

"Alternative scalers" ・❥・Stats like HP and DEF are a bit harder to come by (attack buffs/boosts are very easy to find) so levelling these characters to 90 allows them to get a bit more of their stat. There isn't a Bennett, TTDS, or Noblesse of HP or DEF (mayyyyybe gorou but still) so that extra bit of HP/DEF is a lot more important

┌── ⋆⋅did you know?⋅⋆ ──┐

Itto's passive talent is the only one in the game that aids in getting wood from trees

┌── ⋆⋅Daily update: Building Candace⋅⋆ ──┐

She's currently level 80 with a level 80 weapon. I'm gonna do her talents then finish artifacts since most of them suck (Best piece is like 39CV which i'm quite happy with but the others are like super bad in comparison)

Also will get weapon to 90 but I'm gonna do it last (even though it's very important) because levelling weapons isn't very intersting

Drink some water today!!

@fandomtrumpshate made a post about the amazingness of fan labor and encouraged content creators to share a bit about how fantastic it is, so here we go 😎

Beta reading

I tend to edit my fics several times over before ever posting them, and have been blessed to offer beta help for others, because sometimes no matter the genuine effort - you just miss things, especially if you've read the same thing over and over again. A beta can really lend a fresh pair of eyes on things and catch something small, or big, and really help shape a story into something more cohesive that can reach even more people - because what's lovelier for a writer than to know their fic made its way to someone who felt seen/validated? The message becomes more clear if people aren't distracted by repeated grammar errors (one little caveat though, do not fret if you've edited something five times and a mistake still slips through, it happens to all of us and I can personally attest I have never hit backspace over a misspelling on someone's fic over that lol).

Culture-picking

I joined The Old Guard fandom in August 2020, and have been blessed and amazed by all the resources shared to try to remain as culturally sensitive as possible to the international characters 🙏🏻❤ Reading various posts, and the links shared within, allows me to add more depth to the characters outside of the cultures I myself was raised in, both with my writing and my art. Between these, and my own theological studies, I really felt honored by opportunities to chat one on one with people and exchanging information to broaden each other's views and hopefully that is reflected in my fandom engagement (second caveat, there is no way to make everyone happy and offend no one - we are simply too varied person to person - but by knowing you invested time and energy in an effort to be culturally sensitive, you at least can be assured that your intents were pure, and that counts for something).

Sensitivity reading

This probably goes hand in hand with the above as well, but my personal experience was having people I could further discuss various aspects of the day to day life with both Muslims and LGBTQ+ folks. I myself am aspec, but my lens is framed differently in that I'm a Christian CIS gendered heteroromantic woman - and though again, there is no way to satisfy everyone, I wanted to at least strive not to be woefully ignorant and inadvertently feed stereotypes. Being able to discuss with multiple people about day to day things - beyond what you might try to gleam from say, an academic article about the theological aspects of Islam, or statistics around a study about LGBTQ+ issues - has only helped me grow further as a person, as well as (hopefully) add to the content I create (third caveat, there is a difference between telling a story that is not yours to share, and writing about characters finding acceptance and safety with the people around them which can resonate with readers. Always be humble first, and accept that we all bring biases that we must unpack at any given time, and be open to growth and learning. Again, there's no way to satisfy everyone, but it is our responsibility to learn along the way, and I for one am grateful for the people who were willing to share with me).

So there ya go, some of my personal experiences with the lovely fan labor that people bring into fandom ❤

These, and more, options will be available within the auction itself - which opens on the 23rd, but browsing period starts tomorrow! There will be ~100 plus fan labors of various needs featured, so if you've been debating tapping into this vital resource, please do consider this as a gentle sign that also benefits so many lovely causes 🥰

Dear Mimzy, I can't begin to tell you how happy I was to find your advice on how to write a blind or visually impaired person respectfully. Thank you so much for doing that. It was very helpful. I'm currently writing a book and I'm about to start the editing phase. I'm writing you to ask if you would consider being a beta reader of mine? I'll pay you, of course. You can write me on Instagram: mettepeleikis if you're interested. Once again thank you for your helpful blog. - Mette

PART 1/2: Mette again. Even if you're not interested in beta reading my book, I do have some questions that I haven't found the answers to on your blog. I hope you can help me by giving me your opinion on these two things. 1. The love interest of my MC loses his sight from a head trauma accident (I did read you advice against that but it's unfortunately not something I can change now) but do you consider that "victimizing your blind character" like when you mentioned rape?

PART 2/2: Gosh, I'm sorry for spamming you. Here's my second question. I never wanted to cure my blind character, but I did have in mind that a surgery could partially restore a bit of it. Just enough for him to see a bit of color. Do you think that is as bad as curing them when partially restoring his sight? Thank you so much, Mimzy. Best, Mette

Mimzy answered: I’m so happy I could help your writing process! Hearing that I help makes every day much better, especially since this is part of what I’ll be focusing on in school.

I am considering taking a few beta-reading contracts in the winter between school semesters. I am going to put a note down with your Instagram contact.

As for your first question, I recently made a post going in-depth about writing whump and using blindness for plot purposes. It has far more depth and nuance to the subject than my initial post did in 2019, largely because that was (still is) a topic I struggle to talk about.

(The following paragraph is useful advice to all writers, not just Mette)

The concern about head trauma being the cause of blindness stems more from how rare it is compared to natural causes of blindness. Glaucoma, Macular Degeneration, Cataracts, and Diabetic Retinopathy are the most common causes of vision loss. The head trauma route is also a big sign that the writer took the lazy way out of researching the cause of the character’s blindness, which suggests to the reader that the character is more of a prop than a character. The best thing you can do to avoid this sentiment, avoid inaccuracy and insensitivity, is to deeply research the specific details of the injury and how that will affect your character’s vision.

I found an article for you with a wide variety of specific injury types that can follow a traumatic brain injury. It will be a good starting point in your individual research.

What Mette is describing doesn’t sound like victimizing, at least not as I would personally define it. Victimizing would be using the character’s trauma and blindness to teach the main character some kind of lesson, very much like the trend of violently killing off female characters to push the male protagonist’s storyline.

The message a plotline like that sends to a blind reader is that how our blindness affects our loved ones is more important than how it affects us, that we’re a burden to our loved ones, and that our feelings about vision loss don’t matter because we’re a plot device for our family’s story.

Or using the character’s blindness as a way to “set up” a plan to hurt the character. An example would be the character getting kidnapped and not realizing they were being stalked because of their blindness. A good exercise to test if you’re falling into this trap would be to ask yourself “if this character was a drunk teenage girl, would this look like victim blaming?” If the answer is yes, then you need to rethink that plotline.

The message this plotline sends is that being disabled makes you an easy victim to assault, that it’s only a matter of time before it happens, that it happens because you’re disabled and that it’s somehow your fault.

It’s also a reminder of a terrifying but very real statistic of how common it is for a disabled person to be a victim of a crime. I found a webpage discussing it if you’d like to further educate yourself.

So there’s a big difference between an author exploring the trauma around sudden vision loss, and an author turning that trauma into shallow dramatics for entertainment purposes. One has the chance to make you feel seen, and the other makes you feel objectified.

Ask yourself how your story compares to what I’ve described and if/how you can do better.

To answer your last question, I’m not 100% sure. Realistically, if offered a chance to surgically improve your vision when you were in the early stages of learning to adapt, you might very well jump at the chance. Some might, but there are plenty of reasons why you might decline the surgery. It’s very likely you might develop a phobia against medical care (iatrophobia) following a traumatic medical experience, and perhaps avoid doctors and medical procedures at all costs, even if it means potentially allowing conditions to get dangerously worse before seeking help. If your story is based in America, chances are that a procedure like that will be too costly, even with insurance. Double-check medical care costs in the country the story takes place in if you’re not sure. Hearing that the surgery might risk you losing more sight with very little promise of returning your vision, especially long term, would be a big motivation to decline. Resentment against how doctors and loved ones focused on wanting to “fix you” instead of helping you adjust might be a reason to decline. (It certainly was for me, especially when the proposed solution wouldn’t completely improve my vision. This was prediagnosis) Being far enough into your recovery due to a great support system and therapy might also be a reason to decline the surgery, stating that you’re happy with life as is.

Personally, I would hate to lose my color vision. Vibrant colors make me absurdly happy. However, if I did lose my color vision and a specific surgery was proposed to possibly restore it, it’s highly unlikely I would accept for almost all of the reasons stated above.

It’s a subject that will require more than one sensitivity reader, and possibly asking people within the blind community how they feel about that. A variety of responses will help you explore the nuances of the plotline.

I always recommend @blindbeta as a sensitivity reader because I love their work discussing different blind characters in media and their advice posts.

Thank you for the positive feedback, it made my night :)

(after post notes: dear god I hope this is coherent. This was written between the hours of 1 and 2 am. Yeah, this blog is called the Late Night Writing Advice Blog for a reason. Also (@ everyone, I shared some personal feelings tonight, please treat that with respect)

It's Time for Button

Rachie here, with the sad news that our beautiful #BossRatButton's time with us has come to a close. She's been a favourite of everyone, a mascot for the rescue, and my heart rat for two wonderful years, and now she'll live in our hearts.

Button came to me as a baby a couple of years ago after her famous little button-eye meant she didn't sell as a pet. She was an overly confident little brat from the start, and gnawed her way into my heart immediately almost against my will, and certainly (at first) to the displeasure of my older, more sensible rats.

She was born with a spontaneous case of micropthalmia in one eye, which meant the eyeball and socket were tiny and not formed correctly, making her blind on that side. This meant she had no depth perception, and she used to crack me up by flinging herself out of the cage trying to jump to me, and missing by a LOT. We used to caption her attention seeking antics with "It's time for BUTTON!" - the clock in the rescue is a handmade gift which says "Is it time for Button?" with every number captioned something like "yes" "absolutely" "always". As she grew up she learned that jumping was not for her, and communicated with me easily for a hand to step on. She and I understood each other well and bonded quickly.

Everyone at the rescue fell in love with her, and it became common for people to turn up to the open days or rat shows and ask to meet little Button, something she was always happy for. We had a lot of fun times. Even my gruff, over-macho stepdad took a liking to her, with her sitting on his shoulder, the two of them had one working pair of eyes!

She met a lot of the public over the years, and won many rat-fearing hearts. My favourite outing was our weekend at the Sunshine Coast Agricultural Fair, where she met a friend's rat, another girl named Maze, and the two of them bonded immediately and humped in front of many children for three days and caused a lot of questions, to our intense amusement, and earning her the second, in-house motto of "Be gay, do crimes."

The little humper missed Maze and was annoying the other rats, so I adopted Pibbles who was a notoriously hormonally active girl. Hilariously, she wasn't Button's type, and to Pibbles' lifelong frustration Button never humped her once in her life, so she learned to beg for a butt-scratch.

When she was about a year old, I woke up one morning to find some vaginal discharge on her, and was the first call on the phone to the new vet that was opening that day, our beloved team at The Unusual Pet Vets. I rocked up that morning with a frantic "Hello, I'm Rachie, uh, there's a rat rescue. Um. Congrats on the new clinic, I bought a gift, it's a rat skull, will that be helpful? His name was Splinter. Anyway, this is Button, Help!" (Josh gave me an excited tour and we hit it off immediately, Splinter still resides at UPV as a teaching specimen.) Button had an emergency spay and was Dr Cat's first ever patient there, the same vet who helped her over the bridge on Wednesday, it was an emotional scene.

I could trust Button with anyone. When little Snack was just a barely weaned orphan, it was Button who I put in to teach her social skills (great call Rach, Snack is now the bloody poster child for 'be gay do crimes') and she's also cared for many a frail and palliative rat over the years.

One day she even lay down and snuggled with me, and it was so out of character for the little shit that I freaked out and rushed her to the vet, where Dr Liz basically said "Rach she's maturing, she loves you, you're panicking over nothing, enjoy it." - she was completely right and Button has been my little snugglebug ever since, for the second wonderful year of her life.

How lucky am I that this little brat who adopted me against my will became such a wonderful best friend and model ratty?

Recently she's been having some issues, some frontal limb weakness that indicated a pituitary tumour, a recurrence of vaginitis, and some unexplained malocclusion. Tooth trimming and close care gave her relief, but as her mobility declined it was clear that days were getting difficult for her, and nothing was helping the progression of the PT. Chris and I discussed it as it progressed, and agreed that as heartwrenching as it was, we'd rather give up a week with out beloved baby than have her in real suffering for even a day. Yesterday was the day we judged that she was still struggling but okay, but if it went much further she'd be suffering, and knowing we'd lose her one way or the other, we went in to have Dr Cat help her over the bridge before she had to go through that.

I’m rambling now.

Sweet Button, little butt-baby. We all love you so much. I'm so grateful you came into my life, and I'll miss you terribly, you were a true heart rat, and a little piece of my heart stays with you.

Thank you to everyone who was so beautiful to us yesterday, the team is absolutely shattered at the loss, she meant a lot to everyone. Rest peacefully my darling, thanks for sharing your beautiful life with me.

Rachie

Button

03/03/2019 - 24/02/2021

Are the second generation really meant to mirror the first? I'm helping my sister revise for her end of unit test on it and it's mentioned quiet a bit in her notes but from what I've read (though tbf though- I'm reading certain parts for revision) I'm not really getting the vibe of that tbh. Can you help me understand why people may think this. Thank you.

Disclaimer: I'm certainly not an expert on the book and the criticisms about it - I read about it purely for my own enjoyment and there are many interpretations I’m probably not aware of. 

First, I would say they aren’t exact replicas or mirrors but are more like echos or perhaps extensions of the first generation. Certainly all the baggage of the previous generation is placed on them. Catherine Linton and Hareton Earnshaw are much easier to connect to the first generation then Linton is, in my opinion, but some critics have tried to do so - mostly in asserting that there is a love triangle between them similar to Heathcliff/Catherine/Edgar. There are a number of connections that critics make between Hareton/Cathy and Heathcliff/Catherine and some have been told a million times but I’ll try to cover the ones I remember. Let me see if I can keep this organized and not get too off topic. 

The similarity of their characters: At first glance you have the repetition of names - “C” and “H” appear repeatedly. Most apparent is that Catherine Linton is named for her mother. Hareton, although obviously an old family name since its been carved above the threshold of the Heights, it does feel intentional in furthering the connection between “C” and “H.” I’ve always found it interesting we have this scene from Cathy II and Linton in Chapter 14, that seems to directly call out the C & H connection:

“We found two in a cupboard, among a heap of old toys, tops, and hoops, and battledores and shuttlecocks. One was marked C., and the other H.; I wished to have the C., because that stood for Catherine, and the H. might be for Heathcliff, his name; but the bran came out of H., and Linton didn’t like it.”

Funnily I don’t think the H is for Heathcliff, I think its more likely meant for Hindley, but of course Heathcliff has been semi-assimilated into the Earnshaw family by being given the name Heathcliff, which was the name of a deceased child. To me at least, none of these feel unintentional, it feels fated since we have these repetitions noted by the characters themselves.

Cathy doesn’t only share a name with her mother, she lives in her shadow. We know from Nelly that, “On the anniversary of her birth we never manifested any signs of rejoicing, because it was also the anniversary of my late mistress’s death.” Edgar seems to cherish her in part because she is a remnant of her mother, even displaying many similar characteristics, although Nelly is quick to note Cathy is softer and more genteel - which makes sense considering she grows up with a loving father in a calm environment that lets her do as she pleases. She doesn't grow up with the harshness of the Earnshaw family, and Joseph's ranting, and it also seems that Nelly may have softened and become more maternal as years have gone by. I’d say she does become more and more like her mother after living at Wuthering Heights though. 

Some really great parallels between the two Catherine’s dialog have been made by Ann Dobyns - I’ve posted a few excerpts from her essay here if anyone is interested, it’s a bit more in-depth than this needs to be though.

Hareton has many parallels to Heathcliff as well - this is intentionally done by Heathcliff who, upon Hindley’s death, speaking of his plotting says, “And we’ll see if one tree won’t grow as crooked as another, with the same wind to twist it!” Heathcliff and Hareton have such an odd fated destiny, from the moment Heathcliff saves his life by catching him as his father dropped him over the bannister of second floor. Hareton from the start fears his natural father, “squalling and kicking in his father’s arms,” Nelly even fears Hindley will “frighten the child into fits.” Worlds different the description of a scene of very typical father/son affection described by Nelly during Hindley’s funeral when she says little Hareton, “played with Heathcliff’s whiskers, and stroked his cheek.” Or earlier when she had asked Hareton if he liked Heathcliff and he says:

“Ay!” he answered again. Desiring to have his reasons for liking him, I could only gather the sentences—“I known’t: he pays dad back what he gies to me—he curses daddy for cursing me.

In Hareton’s mind Heathcliff is more a protector than his father, and I suppose in many ways he is better than Hindley’s random obscene violence. As wrong as it is that Heathcliff denies Hareton his inheritance and an education, I think it does say something (not entirely sure what) that he is never physically abusive to Hareton in the way Hindley was with him. Hareton doesn’t ever show any real fear of Heathcliff. 

Heathcliff has his own complex feelings towards Hareton, definitely preferring him to his own son - he tells Nelly, “Do you know that, twenty times a day, I covet Hareton, with all his degradation? I’d have loved the lad had he been some one else.” So it seems we have the daughter of Catherine and the wished for son of Heathcliff. Lockwood even mistakes Hareton to be Heathcliff’s son momentarily in Chapter 2.

Some other parallels - Heathcliff notes the similarities between them later on in a discussion with Nelly:

“He’ll not venture a single syllable all the time! Nelly, you recollect me at his age—nay, some years younger. Did I ever look so stupid: so ‘gaumless,’ as Joseph calls it?”

“Worse,” I replied, “because more sullen with it.”

On other occasions Nelly talks about how Heathcliff liked to induce horror from those around him and “he contrived to convey an impression of inward and outward repulsiveness.” Hareton behaves similarly - in one scene after being taunted by Linton and Cathy, he throws Linton from the room to the disgust and fear of Cathy in Chapter 23:

...Earnshaw burst the door open: having gathered venom with reflection. He advanced direct to us, seized Linton by the arm, and swung him off the seat.

“‘Get to thy own room!’ he said, in a voice almost inarticulate with passion; and his face looked swelled and furious. ‘Take her there if she comes to see thee: thou shalln’t keep me out of this. Begone wi’ ye both!’

“He swore at us, and left Linton no time to answer, nearly throwing him into the kitchen; and he clenched his fist as I followed, seemingly longing to knock me down. I was afraid for a moment, and I let one volume fall; he kicked it after me, and shut us out.”

Similarly, when sitting next to him, Lockwood says, “My neighbour struck me as bordering on repulsive.” Even Nelly, who I’d say is typically biased towards Hareton, upon seeing him says he “seemed as awkward and rough as ever.”  Lockwood also describes him as being “almost haughty,” similar to Nelly’s repeated references to Heathcliff’s ego and “proud heart.” 

Heathcliff further casts light on their parallels when he says he sees Hareton as the “personification of my youth,” adding that, “Hareton's aspect was the ghost of my immortal love, of my wild endeavours to hold my right, my degradation, my pride, my happiness, and my anguish.” 

The love triangle:  I know some critics have said the dynamic between the Linton/Catherine/Hareton is similar to Edgar/Catherine/Heathcliff - I don't particularly see this. Cathy II is forced into marriage with Linton and at that point doesn't have notable feelings towards Hareton, compared to her mother who knows she loves Heathcliff more and still does have a choice to make even if it isn’t an easy one. 

Still, there are similarities in their relationship in that both men (Heathcliff and Hareton) end up feeling the need to better themselves because for their respective Catherine. Nelly says of Hareton, “He had been content with daily labour and rough animal enjoyments, till Catherine crossed his path. Shame at her scorn, and hope of her approval were his first prompters to higher pursuits.” I think this is similar to Heathcliff deciding to run away after years of abuse and to risk everything, including his life, after hearing Catherine says it would “degrade” her to marry him. Hareton does seem to show some jealously over Cathy’s attention and regard of Linton, and again with the presence of Lockwood so I suppose it is sort of love triangle-y? 

I also think Hareton shows signs of a growing devotion, similar to what Heathcliff felt towards Catherine. He certainly seems to be enamored by Cathy from the very first time they meet - Nelly says he, “stared at her with considerable curiosity and astonishment” and was, “too awkward to speak; though he looked as if he did not relish my intrusion.”

Something I’ve mentioned before is that Lockwood says about Hareton and Cathy, “Together, they would brave Satan and all his legions,” which feels like a direct parallel to Heathcliff’s assertion to Catherine that, “misery and degradation, and death, and nothing that God or Satan could inflict would have parted us.” 

Also Heathcliff seemingly attempts to play the role Hindley played in his youth when he tells Cathy, “Your love will make him an outcast and a beggar.” It seems both Catherine and Heathcliff knew their love would result in the same situation as Catherine relays this to Nelly when she says, “did it never strike you that if Heathcliff and I married, we should be beggars?” 

There is also, of course, the similarity of social stature - when Cathy first meets Hareton, he has nothing to his name and lives almost as a servant at Wuthering Heights, similar to Heathcliff’s position while Hindley was master. Cathy, similar to her mother, is better educated and has more opportunities - there is no socially accepted reason that she would choose Hareton, seeing as he can’t give her money, status, or respectability. 

The circle of events and “The Butterfly:” It does feel, in my opinion at least, that it is no accident that our happy ending is the union of Hareton and Cathy. It couldn’t happen with just any couple or in any other way. It does feel that they are made into the semi-proteges of Heathcliff and Catherine, and the elements of the Linton’s allows for there to be peace between the two families. There is a kind of resolution and unification of their energies. 

This is probably the most common narrative of the connection between Hareton/Cathy and Heathcliff/Catherine, and that is rather than just a parallel, critics have noted that the story of Catherine comes full circle with their marriage. The first Catherine wrote out her possible futures on her window sill in the names: Catherine Earnshaw, Catherine Heathcliff and Catherine Linton. Her daughter ends up reversing these different identities being born a Linton, marrying a Heathcliff, and finally an Earnshaw. That can’t be merely a coincidence.

Critic Dorothy Van Ghent deemed Catherine and Heathcliff the “original two” and she said that with the civilizing of Cathy and Hareton, "the great magic, the wild power, of the original two has been lost.” Others say that while poetically it makes sense within the repetition, Catherine and Hareton’s relationship is “improbable” but I disagree. I really liked Carol Ramsden’s take on this that incorporates Emily’s essay “The Butterfly,” and makes the parallel between the 1st and 2nd generation - I have posted this before but to save myself the time of rephrasing it I’ll just post the quote:

In Wuthering Heights, we encounter a destructive principle at work in the love between Catherine and Heathcliff. The principle is manifested fully in Catherine’s mental collapse and Heathcliff’s vindictiveness. However, the love between Cathy and Hareton is allowed to flower and they are both, in their own ways, products of the first lovers. The principle of destruction, as in “The Butterfly”, is transformed into a creative energy. Ultimately, Catherine and Heathcliff are also not deprived of this creative energy. Instead of representing a pessimistic view of life, their love, too, comes to suggest that all things work together towards good.

I think that’s an interesting take, besides just a happy ending for Hareton and Cathy it almost feels like a happy ending for Catherine and Heathcliff? In some ways they burned up only to transform into something better. Not saying that is how it is meant to be read, but I do like it (probably because I like a happy ending). 

I feel like there are other points that I’ve forgotten? But these are what I remember at least. 

A comprehensive list of all my Ghost au's

this post will be talking about all of the ghost au's ive created or co-created including talking about ghost au's from old fandom's that i am no longer in. if you want to ask about any of my au's my ask box and dm's are always open this includes the hermitcraft au but keep it to a minimum please also if any of the creator's of the characters have said that they arent comfortable with what im making ( with proof ofc) i will edit or delete what is needed to fit in the boundaries also another thing this is a long post if you just want the art go under the cut! this post will discuss how each au works and basic plot stuff about them the fandoms in this post are hermitcraft, epithet erased, and dsmp okay first things first-

my hermitcraft au (what a pity)-

On my old tumblr account I made a few posts about it along with a fanfic which never got finished due to me not wanting to interact with the fandom any more due to personal reasons and also I'm not very good at writing imo but I think I'm ready to talk about it again. Just keep in mind i will most likely not talk about this fandom ever again at least not on here again for personal preference : -) it was about season 6 Grian since he was who i was hyperfixating on at the time, being haunted by the ghosts of Sam and Taurtis, both of them from the old roleplay series' Yandere High School, and Tokyo Soul, and taurtis from Grians old-ish smp Evo. Since I never finished the fanfiction nobody but me and close friends ever got to hear the full story i had planned but now you will i guess. It was mainly just grian stressing about Sam and Taurtis being ghosts and him worrying about being crazy, though he would still join the hippies during the area 77 war he would be significantly more stressed especially when finding out that Sam and Taurtis have been possessing his body during the night, he’s more worried about Sam though because of his track record back in the other servers( yhs and ts) it was going to be that Sam (although death isn't permanent) would go on a killing spree in Grians body which would cause the area 77 guys to put him in the facility to see what's going on with him, and it didn't get further then that. My favorite part of this au much like all of my au’s were the design elements i had for it which i'll have under the cut with the other designs. Now for a rundown of how the ghost physics work in this world, in typical ghost fashion Sam and Taurtis were not able to touch or move anything, but they were able to interact with Grian, him being the only person who could see/hear/or touch them. Their only super natural abilities is being able to possess Grian.

Okay! Time for my Epithet Erased au!: Unlike what a pity this one doesn't have a name or a fanfic to go with it as said before i'm not exactly a writer but i have talked about it a bit before on this account along with posting the designs and general concept but i'll go more in depth here! As said in my original post this au was a co-creation with my best friend and sibling @brocolibean so go check bun out ^^ Unlike ‘What a Pity’ it was more lighthearted and comedy centric because it dealt with a bit more and also the original show is a comedy. This au didn't include the character’s epithets so they are all humans. This will also include talking about house each ghost died so if your uncomfortable hearing about that you might want to skip the ghosts portion Just like the original post I'll separate the story summary into 3 parts with intervals in between to talk about the ghosts. First we have the Banzai boys part of the story. Giovanni, Spike, Dark Star, Crusher, Flame Thrower, Car Crash, and Ben all decide to move into a house together so they could all easily split the rent since its close to their collage, the house, which they get for cheap, is aa very old house with sketchy history. But it's a huge house for cheap so they don't complain they encounter the ghosts very early on living in the house and they swear to figure out how they died so they can get their memory back! The ghosts, Molly, Sylvie, Trixie, and Pheonica have no memory! All they know is that there are ghosts! They are connected to the property of this house but if you where to get something- like perhaps a stone from the property the ghost is still technically attached to it therefore the ghost can go with you anywhere Speaking of- -Phoenicia Fleecity is one of the last ghosts to show herself, her body is found in the overgrown garden flowers growing over her skeleton, she is from the victorian era making her the oldest out of the ghosts though he death is the most mysterious -Molly Blindeff is the first ghost the group meets her decomposed body is found buried in the floorboards of the living room, found when gio decided that the house needed renovation and taking matters into his own hands, she died via blunt force trauma i will not be going into detail here because i'm still thinking of doing something with this au she died in the early 2000’s -Sylvester Ashling is the second ghost to show himself though he didn't want to, his body was found in the bottom of the pond in the backyard of the house in the garden. His body while it was decomposing and falling apart was still intact, bloated from drowning. Again i wont go into detail but this wasn't an accident time of death is unknown -Trixie Roughhouse is the third person to show themselves to the Banzai Blasters she is found in the bushes in the backyard her face disfigured from some sort of explosion unlike the others it seems like it was purely an accident, like sylvie their time of death is unknown Mera Salamin is the collages part time librarian nicknamed “the library witch” she started seeing her ghost after obtaining a neck bow with a blue pendant from a pawnshop she got it cause it was pretty and didn't expect a himbo to come along with it -Indus Tarbella is a ghost who is attached to the pendant and bow Mera wear it used to be his own until he was decapitated wearing it through he was properly buried he has no troublesome memories about what happened even after seeing his body he’s just happy to be with Mera Percival King is a security guard at the college and one of the best at that, she wields a story she got from a pawn shop as its her preferred weapon she takes her job very seriously -Ramsey and Zora both died by the same sword while fighting neither remember who wielded the sword, even after death they hate each other and hate being bound together even more Everyone ends up meeting and finding out they all have ghost hijinks ensue. The way ghosts work in this world is a bit strange I'll admit but it's one of my favorites. The ghosts can interact with the human world(menma style) but

they can only talk to the others who can see them (the Banzai Blasters, mera and percy) and the ghosts can interact with each other ghosts in this au attach themselves to an item or property that has someway to do with their death, the kids in the property, Indus it's the bow, and the sword duo is well, the sword Percy carries. As alluded to from before Gio and the rest of the boys end up carrying a bit of the property with them in the form of friendship bracelets four for each of them which makes 28 different bracelets so the kids can decide who to follow around for the day.i talked about how percy and Mera’s items work enough but i would like to mention that Indus does most of the heavy lifting around the library but becaus enoone else can see indus they assume she’s magical, the glowing pendant doesn't help.

The last two au’s i want to talk about are both dream smp au’s

though i've never talked about them online until now, again thanks to @brocolibean for letting me brain vomit my way through these au’s and helping me out with things i love them please check him out I'll be honest i'm so scared of this fandom so i'm afraid to talk about my au’s please be nice to me Also this is all roleplay and fiction!<3 The first one i'll talking about is the dsmp ghost hunters au Sam runs a company where groups of people hunt ghosts for money! Those groups being Phil, Technoblade, Wilbur,Tommy, Tubbo, and Ranboo Dream, George, Sapnap, Quackity, Karl Bad, ant, Skeppy, and Puffy There’s most likely more but there the only people i can think of at this moment The only canonical ghost being Schlatt This au doesn't have a proper story perse it's more about gags and stuff about the different character fighting over ghosts for money but the story stuff i do have- Sbi family dynamic is real here you can rejoice, Phil adopts Tubbo after his dad (Schlatt) kicks the bucket and fucking dies , Tubbo befriend’s Ranboo some mysterious teen who just desperately needs a job so he- and the rest of the Minecraft family help him get one- though they find out Ranboo isnt as human as he was made out to be and he finds out he’s this worlds version of angels called ender’s and he’s there to protect Tubbo and Tommy which explains why the more violent ghosts start being less violent at the arrival of Ranboo joining their team. Bad isn't human either being a demon his entire group know’s plus quackity. Quackity found out but squirting him with holy water through a water gun but don't worry he promised not to tell anyone; -) Bad and Ranboo know about each other because they see each other as their true forms The minecraft fam found out about Schlatt being a ghost through Tommy- despite Tubbo telling him not to- telling them from calling up and paying for them to investigate their own house saying “technically i didn't tell them” they ended up not getting rid of Schlatt though I'm not going to talk about how the ghosts here work because it's not super important to the plot

The second au is another ghost au where the main characters are ghosts themselves,

like the others its mainly lighthearted and comedic with dark attributes The plot surrounds the sbi family moving into a new house and Tommy finding out it's being haunted by two ghost’s. Those ghosts being Tubbo and Ranboo This au isn't fully figured out but I know that he found out he was haunted by sending a selfie to someone(possibly Drista and Purpled? Since there are only other minors who were part of the dsmp lore? But ultimately idk) and them being like “yo i didn't know you had friends” and him being like “?????” Tubbo died from a boiler exploding and Ranboo died from drowning (which are apparently my two favorite deaths) this also doesn't have an official story? It was just an excuse to make ghost designs with a bit of a story without the commitment As said before it's a sbi au but also a Dadschlatt au cuz I like Dadschlatt au’s. The main story bits i have are background stuff for Tubbo and Ranboo which ill elaborate now The house was originally meant to be just a summer home because it had a large lake in the backyard Ranboo’s family would go there often but that doesn't mean his family liked him very much because of his heterochromia, Vitiligo, and his height his family thought he was strayed from god and drowned him Tubbo died during sleep while Schlatt wasn't home either out drinking or just at work he came home to the house being partially blown up and his son nowhere to be seen he calls Puffy out of fear and she calls the cops. He moves away and most likely starts drinking a bit more. The house gets rebuilt and now the sbi live there hijinks ensue! The ghosts in this au work in a simpler manor only Tommy can see them unless a photo is taken but even then they are blurred, they can float and go through walls and their ability to touch things is limited Ranboo’s memory is worse then Tubbo’s but Tubbo’s isn’t much better.

below the cut will be designs and stuff be safe pal's- there will be minor/cartoony blood-

rip me exposing my old art on this account also i'm ripping these from my fucking amino account that i don't use but still have the password too

gonna do the original what a pity drawins first them ill show a more recent rendition because i hate the old drawings

these are the old drawins i hate them

then,,, i just drew them,,,,, fuck these guys/j

thses are the old sprite edits of these four! trixies design is the only one that really changed

the ded;-; i couldnt fit him on the page

there he is! ft indus and very much alive mera(who i cant figure out how to FUCKING DRAW-)

gay's get wilbur'd/j

they lookin for ghosts

the whole fmaily is here but its quality is shit

these bitches dead! good for them,,, good for them,,,,,,/j/rp