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notmuchtofind · 7 months

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unexpected pt1 | d.s

word count: 2k

fluff & angst

tw: mentions of car accidents, injury, fatalities and abortion

synopsis: you and drew can’t wait to start your little family in your brand new home. However, things take a turn for the worst…

"Good morning babe!”

The raspy voice seeps through the small speakers in your phone as you lift your finger from the slightly smudged screen. You rub the palm of your hand over your eye before turning over in your bed, bringing your phone with you and engulfing yourself in the duvet that appears 10x larger when you're alone.

"Morning" you whispered slightly in a somnolent voice "what time is your flight again?" you question, whilst glaring at the blue eyes of the boy you're so madly in love with through the phone screen.

"My flights at 2pm for me but..9am for you?" Drew says, slightly second guessing himself.

Drew has been away filming for a few weeks at a time whilst you've been staying home. The new house you and Drew have just bought was in need of some new interior and seen as though you both consider yourselves to be quite the creative pairing, you've decided to renovate and decorate by yourselfs. However, it seems to be proving more difficult than anticipated, and with Drew being away a little more than you also anticipated, it appears it's getting a little stressful.

You sigh, the thought of having to wait an extra 12 hours from now for your boyfriend to be home aches your heart. A conflicting feeling of sadness and excitement take turns filling the pit in your stomach, as being reunited is so close, yet so far away

You wonder if the stress of decorating the house and being alone for weeks at a time is also heightened by the hormonal imbalances your body is experiencing over these past 3 1/2 months.

Finding out you were pregnant was frightening to say the least. You hadn't planned it, you may have discussed it from time to time with Drew but you had it in your mind that that phase of your life was to come a little bit later down the line. So when you found out you were pregnant, the initial thought was to terminate the pregnancy...However, after a few weeks of discussions, and seeing how amazing Drew was being an uncle to his sister's son, you became very open to the idea of keeping it. And Drew agreed, even though he expressed that he would've been supportive with any decision you chose to make, he seemed the most happiest when he thought about hearing the little pitter patters of feet on the floor boards, or the sound of giggles so pure that are simultaneously shared with yours.

"Okayyyy" you nod whilst dragging out your syllables as you shuffle around in bed.

"How are you, baby?" Drew questions with a beaming grin and a slight spring in his voice. Drew quickly follows up his question with another "and baby?"

You glance at your beaming boyfriend through the screen and giggle to yourself. "were missing you" you wine, pouting your lips slightly, trying to make him feel sorry for you. "I miss you" he coos "but i'll be home soon, to look after you both! And also finish renovating this house before she arrives'' he gushed

Seen as the pregnancy was not planned, neither of you was prepared beforehand. You and Drew had owned separate apartments prior to buying this house. Even though you practically lived together whenever you could rustle up the chance, it always would go back to being only your space. or only his space. with only your belongings that subside or, vice versa. Even though You and Drew could've lived in your own little bubble forever, responsibilities and chores needed to be carried out to determine that your individual lives ran smoothly. Meaning time apart was necessary. But when you decided to keep the baby and start this little family, you both agreed it was necessary to look at buying a house.

You both agreed you wanted to know the gender of your baby, so you could customise the nursery and pick out the cutest, tiniest baby growths and hats, ready for your baby girl's arrival. Watching Drew hold up tiny shoes and fluffy teddies whilst shopping for your daughter melted your heart. You'd giggle whilst rolling your eyes and taunt him about already having basically the same product in the basket, but he'd wine and ensure the product was different, most of the time only in colour or size, and you was unable to argue with him as he was already determined that he was purchasing that item. He already couldn't say no to spoiling her, and she hadn't even arrived yet.

The house is large, a 5 bed 3 bathroom colonial stately home. Open plan kitchen and dining area, with multiple lounges and a couple studies. a pool and 2 acres of land. it’s been a joint dream for you and drew to own a home just like this one. so when you came across it on the market, you had a feeling this was going to be yours. your forever home. at least one of them! However, The catch? It needed renovation, and a lot of it. But you guys are determined to get the main rooms completely ready before the baby comes. However, you've got 6 months until she arrives and not even the nursery is finished. Did you guys bite off more than you can chew?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Drew was now just over an hour away from landing at the airport and you can feel you heart begin to fill with joy. Even though it takes you half an hour to drive to the airport, you decided to grab your bag and car keys and set off now. an attempt to miss the evening traffic.

Driving down the motorway, you hear your phone start to chime, "fuck" you mumble to yourself, Knowing your phone resides deep in your bag. The ringing is your ever so familiar alarm that you set to ensure you remember to take medication you've been on for your morning sickness. You let the chime ring out for a few seconds before it starts to test your patience.

"ugghhh" you moan... You reach your hand over to your bag whilst your other hand rests on the steering wheel, keeping your eyes on the road. you wiggling your fingers trying to locate the phone inside. You glance over to the bag, still reaching whilst trying to keep control of the car.

Your hand finally grasps your phone and you pull it out of your bag, setting it aside so you can switch off the echoing alarm. As you glance down, making sure you’re hovering your finger over the correct button, screeching tears through your ears.

Before you could react, your vision went black.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Smoke fills your lungs and your body is limp. you began to gasp for air as you can feel your heart pounding at a rate you've never seemed to experience before. you reach around trying to find something to grasp onto but your vision is blurry.

Blood floods the fabric of your clothes, taking up almost every inch. You realise the only way out of your vehicle is the already broken window that appears the opposite way round. Glass still resides on the edges of the window, but you don't contemplate your exit, you begin to crawl out of the opening. As you do so you notice your legs unresponsive, but the pain you feel is little to none, as the adrenaline rushing through your veins is enough to numb your body and thoughts. The only thought you have is to make your way out of this situation alive.

The sound of sirens replaced the sound of your heart beat. As you lay at the side of the road with one elbow propping your body up. you notice the impact your body has taken. your leg looked to be disoriented and your flesh was not attached to your bones. The pain started to seep through your body and you whimpered in pain whilst screaming for help. The truck that had hit you was on its side and your car was upside down. People began to gather and surround you as the sirens grew closer. After fighting the energy to stay awake you find yourself crippled with exhaustion, your eyes start to flutter shut...the sounds start to fade away.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Your eyes flutter, resisting the bright light that your met by and the smell of chemical aromas that are ever so strong. “baby…? that’s it. it’s drew” the muffled voice echoes through your ears, a voice that sounds uncertain, but a voice that grants you comfort.

"cmon baby, i'm here with you...you're gonna be okay y/n/n"

You begin to try to lift your head but a shooting pain descends down your back, you wince in pain as you drop your head back down to the white pillow.

"hey, hey! stop y/n/n, just rest okay. You're okay now. you're safe" Drew ensures whilst squeezing your hand in the palm of his.

You dart your eyes over to your puffy eyed boyfriend sat in the hospital chair. the anaesthesia and medication your body is under makes it hard to think straight, but you manage to give a slight reassuring smile to your boyfriend, just to tell him that you're hearing what he's saying and that you're relieved that he's the one by your bedside.

You notice Drew's eyes are glazed over and his pupils swell with joy. He gives you an identical smile. "Hey baby" he whispers whilst still squeezing your palm.

"I'm just going to get the doctors okay? Just to tell them you're awake" He explains. He stands carefully and begins to make his way out the hospital room.

The doctor enters the room as Drew grabs your hand and sits back by your side. you glance around, unsure of how to feel. your heart races as your consciousness starts to come back. You're slightly unsure of the intensity and trauma your body has just been through, but something feels incredibly off.

Your eyes dart to the doctor as he begins.

"Hello miss y/l/n, i'm doctor Edward's" he pauses "You've been in a severe car accident involving 1 other person" the doctor states...

"now there's a few things i'd like to go over if that's okay with you miss y/l/n and mr Starkey'' Drew nods eagerly as you widen your eyes, unable to move your neck.

"It looks as if you've broken your right leg miss y/l/n, as well as fracturing your collar bone, elbow and neck" he states. “you’ve experienced extremely deep tissue wounds to the calf’s and back muscles and a light head injury” he adds whilst ensuring he's making eye contact with yourself and drew.

"with the severity of the car crash, i'm extremely glad you're alive miss y/l/n, as your body has undergone quite the trauma" he states whilst looking down at his noteboard.

Your hearing what the doctors saying, yet none of it is settling in, you're heart is still racing and the pit in your stomach is growing larger and larger, all your mind resides on is your baby girl that's growing inside your stomach, the deep pain in your heart aches to know if your baby is okay.

You manage to muster the strength to ask the question that's been spinning round your head "is-is our baby okay?" you ask. You glance over at Drew, trying to gain an answer, However, he doesn't seem to meet your eyes, he's looking down at the floor, and you can see his breaths start to become unsteady. You quickly look over to the doctor and the look he gave you was a sympathetic one

"I’m terribly sorry miss y/l/n...umm...i'm afraid you suffered a miscarriage whilst being involved in the car crash"

You're taken back by his words and your hearing begins to muffle, you're unsure of how to react, you're unsure if the information has even hit you yet. You look over to drew and lock eyes as he's already staring at you with a look so heart wrenching. he Engulfed you in a hug. Drew kisses your forehead as he whispers

“Everything’s going to be okay”

a/n : i’m planning on doing 2 more parts to this story, one in drew’s POV and one about the impact of the miscarriage… i could possibly do a 4th part of how drew and the reader eventually try for another baby and start a family? lmk what you think <33

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reve-writes · 1 year

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—if i'm dead to you [1]; leon kennedy.

ʚ leon kennedy x reader | resident evil | 1,5k words. ʚ chapter two. | you betrayed him before, resulting in a failed mission and a preventable death. years later, you cross paths. ʚ angst. profanity; violence; non-canon lore; reader murdered someone; very loosely set in re4. ʚ a/n this will have a second part! i don't write for leon a lot so he may be ooc, sorry for that. i just wanted to write some lovers-to-enemies angst while being knee-deep in leon brainrot.

"I should kill you," he theeatens. You feel the hard muzzle of his pistol on the small of your back, almost feel the coldness of the metal against your skin despite the jacket you're clad in.

God, you missed him.

"Leon," you greet casually, even as you put your hands up in a surrendering manner. He presses the gun harder—a warning. One you're choosing to ignore. "Come on, puppy. We both know you're not going to shoot."

His voice is cold when he responds, venom lacing every syllable. "Do we?"

Your heart clenches, but then again you deserve every bit of anger he throws your way. His icy tone feels so much worse than any wound you've ever had in your line of work. Each words lodging deep inside you, like a bullet without an exit wound.

“Leon,” you try again. His name flows smoothly out of your lips as if you've been saying it your whole life. Even now, as he's threatening you, your body seems to remember him anyway—gravitate towards the pads of his fingers, the warmth of his torso. You thrum with the yearning to feel his skin on yours again as much as you don't deserve to. “We can talk like civilised people.”

“We're past civilised for a while now,” he retorts, but the pressure loosens. You take your chances and slowly spin on your heels to face him. A mistake on your part. Your heart swells at the sight of him. His blond hair, sweeping over his ears. The blue in his eyes, hardened from years of experience as an agent. The set of his jaw. Your hand twitches with the desire to touch him, feel his lips against yours once more.

What do you even say?

Apologising seems like a callous move. You didn't bother to apologise five years ago. It changes nothing even if you do apologise now, because you'll do it all over again. Instead of spinning more lies or desperately trying to bury the elephant in the room, you opt for the truth.

“I'm glad you're well, Leon.” You swallow, trying to clear the scratchiness of your voice from the lump forming in your throat.

His brows furrow. His gun is still aimed towards you, but his hand is trembling ever-so-slightly. “Don't do that.”

Your head tilts to the side. “Do what?”

“Try and act as if you're not the biggest fucking liar I've ever met,” he snarls. “Fuck this. Fuck you.”

It stings. Every word acts like lacerations on the fickle little thing beating inside your chest. Your hand shakes, but you flash him a tight-lipped smile instead.

“I suppose I deserve that.”

“And a whole lot more.”

A beat passes, and then two. It doesn't seem like he's going to serve you your retribution.

You're taking in his appearance and he looks at you, so many thoughts racing in his head. Too many to pick out just one. He takes a deep breath, trying to calm the roiling anger in his veins—to keep the red at the edge of his vision instead of blinding him.

“What are you doing here?”

“You know I can't answer that.”

“The least you can do is answer my questions.” He grits his teeth. “Then again, whatever you say is most likely a lie.”

“I'll take my leave, then.” I'm glad I get to see you.

He kisses his teeth in annoyance. “Goddammit, ___. Are you really not going to say anything?”

You clench your fists, nails digging into your palms. “We don't need to do this. I'll stay out of your way.”

“What about Tracy?”

The name brings up a clear picture. Pig-tailed brunette. Fifteen years old. Freckles dusting her cheeks. The gap between her front teeth when she smiled.

Tracy Miller.

That was the name printed on your mission file five years ago. Your mission partner was Leon Kennedy. Both of you were newbies in the field, recently recruited after what went down in Raccoon City. It was supposed to be an easy mission, anyway. You were starry-eyed, excited to spend a little more time with him, giddy for experience in this godforsaken field.

Your mission was simple. The fifteen-year-old prodigy created a strain of virus. You were supposed to bring her in for questioning. They were planning to confiscate the research.

Until you were approached by your current employer—a group of self-righteous assholes whom you've caught the attention of. You were presented with an offer, but it was never much of a choice. Kill Tracy, get rid of the possibility that the virus could ever soread. You would never say yes. Never in a million years would you have aimed your gun at a helpless child.

Until they mentioned him.

It didn't take much for you to throw your morals to the backburner when it came to Leon. He was their leverage. If you didn't work for them and dispose of Tracy, then he would die. Their words over the static of your phone are the start of this nightmare.

How sure are you that you can protect him from us?

The name Tracy brings up an image. A loud ringing in your ears. The thud of her body hitting the ground. The click of your gun as it fell to the floor, a bullet missing from its magazine, lodged in the girl's skull.

You steel yourself, echoing empty words you don't quite believe in. “I did what needed to be done.”

You walked away from him. Your shoes knocking against the docks of the lake. As soon as he's out of sight, your knees buckle and you fall. Blinking your eyes, you realise that you're crying.

You don't have time for this.

Not in the middle of an infected village where its residents can appear anytime, hurling an axe at your skull or brandishing a pitchfork, fully intending to kill. There's a mission to accomplish.

Dammit.

You're filled with contradictions. Even as you curse to yourself, standing in front of him like a deer caught in the headlights, there's a part of you that lights up when you bump into him again. It overshadows the rational part—the one that dreads another confrontation, risking the exchange of words as sharp as daggers into each other's hearts.

He immediately levels his handgun at your chest. You drop yours.

“Shit. I didn't know you were here, Leon.” This is one truth that you can offer to him.

“Am I supposed to believe that?”

You sigh, spotting a hostile in your periphery ready to lob a machete at you. “Duck.”

Even if you're the one who cried wolf, the one who once served a lie so grave on a platter without batting an eye, his body responds, immediately falling to a crouch before he can even think about it. It's how the two of you operate in Raccoon City and the countless missions that follow after that. Complete trust. That's why your betrayal feels like a thousand cuts to him.

You curse under your breath, side-stepping the machete. You swoop down for your dropped gun, shooting the infected resident three times before he falls to the ground. Your gunshot is loud, drawing everyone and their mothers out of their houses.

“Great,” Leon complains under his breath.

It's a dance you remember. The way your body so naturally presses up against him to cover each other's backs. The familiar little commands the two of you exchange as you take down enemy after enemy.

“She's just eating my bullets!” He quips, dropping an empty magazine out with one hand, the other already pulling out a new one out to reload. “Shit.”

You chuckle. Suddenly, you're back in Raccoon City again. Two naive twenty-something-year-olds keeping each other alive. Leon and his quirky comments. You and your light-hearted laughs.

The last shot rings and the two of you let out a relieved sigh.

“Great work,” he says before he can stop himself, falling into old habits.

You smile—that million dollar smile that does unhealthy things to his heart. Do it again. A voice in his head says. He frowns, clenching and unclenching his fists, trying to shake off the stupor that remains after the fight.

Tracy Miller. He'll never forget the day he failed the young girl. The day you broke his trust. He swears he hates you. He wants you dead for what you did.

“You're not half bad yourself, Kennedy,” you answer.

He turns around, going to sow his rewards after all the shooting. “Stay out of my way. I won't hesitate the next time.”

The coldness returns to him. You tighten your jacket as if it can help shield you from the chill, but this is a small price you have to pay for his life. You prefer to have him absolutely loathe you than buried dead six feet underground.

You wince, walking away. “Take care, puppy.”

The nickname slips out of you and his step falters for a second. You notice—you notice every fucking thing he does bevause his presence alone heightens all your senses.

It gives you hope, a small one—one you don't deserve. Maybe. Just maybe. He'll forgive you someday.

[ ]

#leon s kennedy x reader #leon kennedy x reader #—ki writes 🍯

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harmonictechnicality · 1 year

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Eddie’s Memory Log: Day 2-5

part 1 here | part 3 here | part 4 here | part 5 here | part 6 here

(ao3 link here)

There’s chewed up bits of food splattered violently all over the hospital lunch tray.

“Are you trying to feed me or torture me, Harrington?” Eddie wipes his mouth with the back of his arm.

Eddie still remembers Steve’s name.

“Kung Pao Chicken.” Steve over enunciates each syllable.

“My memory is fucked - not my speech, asshole.”

“Your attitude is fucked worse than your memory is.” Steve grumbles. “You asked for this yesterday, remember?”

Eddie chooses not to answer verbally and instead, shoves the tray away from his bedside.

Eddie doesn’t remember asking for Kung Pao Chicken yesterday. If that weren’t already obvious.

He dramatically chugs down a styrofoam cup of water. “Seriously, my tongue feels like it’s been assaulted.”

Nah, his fucking behavior today is all very reminiscent of that Shakespeare play - Steve only read the cliff notes for it during his junior year English class. Taming of the Shrew? Take a wild fucking guess who is the shrew right now…

Steve spoons a bite of his food into his mouth without throwing a tantrum. “Maybe your taste buds changed.”

“Maybe you’re wasting your time.” Eddie snaps back. “Maybe you should leave.”

Steve is not in the mood for this. Not today. Robin is still borrowing his car and he didn’t get a window seat on the bus, so his Patience has clocked out early. Not even in the goddamn building anymore.

“Fine.” He gets up, packing up his meal that he can’t even enjoy. Look, Steve’s not asking for a candlelit dinner by any means. But changing the weather forecast - dramatically pouring food out of his mouth in that way? Munson is a goddamn piece of work (Pollocks probably, considering the mess).

That reminds him:

Eddie remembers how to be dramatic. Theatrics must be in his bloodstream or some shit.

“Are you leaving or what?” Eddie is flipping through the tv channels, not even looking at Steve.

“I swear on your stupid little board game, you better be an angel tomorrow.” Steve scolds, gathering all of his things underneath his arm.

“What was that?”

“You heard me.” Steve points a finger at him. “Your memory is fucked, not your ears.”

“Your tongue is fucked for having such shitty taste in food.”

“Nice comeback.”

“And you shouldn’t come back at all.” Eddie hits an imaginary cymbal at the end of his lame joke. At least there’s humor in his damaged mind. Too bad it’s at Steve’s expense.

Eddie remembers how to tell jokes again. Mean jokes. (tbd on the rest of his humor though)

Steve isn’t planning on saying goodbye, but he remembers the kids. They’ll whine him into an early grave if he doesn’t return to Hawkins with a little more insight on Eddie’s memory levels. So he decides to ask one more question before leaving:

“Hey. Munson.”

Eddie flips the volume down on the tv, and looks at Steve. “What now?”

Still remembers his own last name.

“When’s your birthday?” Steve asks again. He already asked this yesterday, but it’s worth a shot.

Eddie looks out the window, closes his eyes for a few seconds. For the first time today, his expression goes serene. All the frustration lines on his face relax. Ease up.

He opens his eyes and answers calmly.

“January 10th.”

Interesting.

Eddie knows his birthday.

Memory log: Day 3

Steve should consider a career as a psychic or some shit. Maybe he absorbed all of Eddie’s memory skills unintentionally or maybe his little DnD threat was worth the added bitchiness. Whatever it is, Eddie is actually tolerable today.

“That’s the least vomit-inducing shade of yellow you’ve ever worn, Harrington.” Which isn’t exactly a ‘hello, it’s nice to see you,’ but Steve will take it because -

Eddie still remembers Steve’s name.

“So you remember me wearing yellow?” Steve clicks his pen excessively. “Seems pretty advanced.”

Eddie turns the tv off today. Woah. “Last week, yeah. Wanted to join PETA just so I’d have a good excuse to throw fake blood all over it.”

Okay yeah, still mean - but also, his memory isn’t so shabby either:

Eddie remembers Steve’s yellow sweater he wore last Tuesday!? That seems impressive.

Eddie knows who the fuck PETA is (Steve makes a mental note to tell Robin about that one cause holy shit)

Eddie is making snort-worthy jokes today. (Are they still at Steve’s expense? Hell yeah, but who the fuck cares? There’s goddamn chunks of memory in his cynical comedy.)

Steve stays for the entirety of visiting hours. Eddie doesn’t ask him to leave - not once. They mock shitty soap operas on tv and theorize that all of the actors are actually rejected pornstars.

Steve likes This Eddie.

Steve hopes this version of Eddie is still here tomorrow.

“Did you think I’d forget?” Eddie asks slyly while Steve heads for the door.

“Forget what?” Steve isn’t following at all.

“The Chinese takeout.” Eddie says sort of irritated. “Kung Pao Chicken, remember?”

Oh. Steve does remember. Eddie does not.

Eddie doesn’t remember redecorating the hospital bed with his chewed up food.

His face suddenly drops at Steve’s change in posture. “What?”

“I did bring it.” Steve hates this. “Yesterday.”

“Oh.”

“Do you remember yesterday at all?”

Eddie whispers into his palm. “I remember you.”

“Right.” Steve’s chest gets tighter at his answer though.

While it’s encouraging that Eddie knows who Steve is everyday, and is comfortable dragging his style through the mud (or fake blood) - this puts such a damper on their good day. Steve can already see Eddie reaching for the tissue box, ready to soak his disappointment into off-brand snot rags. He can’t let the day end like this. No fucking way.

“Hey.” Steve knocks his knuckles over the wall, grabbing Eddie’s attention. “We’ll try again tomorrow, yeah?”

Eddie bunches up the unused tissue in his hand. “Whatever.”

“Take a good look at this non-vomit-inducing sweater.” Steve teases gently. “Don’t forget it.” He does a goofy twirl, and wiggles his ass while he turns around just to see if Eddie will laugh.

He doesn’t, but it seems like he’s trying incredibly hard not to. Always a good sign that ass-shaking is still humorous even after inter-dimensional brain trauma.

“Never said it was non-vomit-inducing.” Eddie retorts after fighting back his amusement. “I said it was the least vomit-inducing.”

“Ugh.” Steve rolls his eyes, gives Eddie a small wave as he heads out the door.

He can still hear Eddie trying to get the last word as he leaves:

“Maybe you’re the one that needs a brain scan, Harrington!”

At least it was a better day.

Memory Log: Day 4

Well so much for the Better Day. Somehow, Eddie’s attitude is now reaching Mister fucking Hyde levels today. He’s the bad dude, right? The Jekyll guy is a doctor, which must make him the chill one… ya know, medicine and shit. And seriously, doesn’t Eddie need to be on some more medications anyways? If Steve were smarter, he’d write the fucking prescription himself.

Whatever, Eddie is Hyde and that Shakespearean shrew lady all chopped up and tossed together today. He’s slinging insults like softballs and snarling his bruised upper lip every time Steve utters a single sentence. Steve is reconsidering his comment about not taking money from sophomores, cause this is bullshit.

“What sexually transmitted disease brings you to the hospital today, Harrington?” Eddie asks rhetorically. And annoyingly.

He remembers he strongly dislikes Steve Harrington, that’s for damn sure.

But… he still remembers Steve’s name so that’s a plus.

And wait -

“Hold on. Did you just make a Steve is a Hometown Slut joke?” Steve is way too excited about the prospects of Eddie remembering his promiscuous past.

Eddie tilts his head to the side. “Hometown Slut would be a good band name, actually.”

“Focus, Munson.”

“Uh, I guess?” Eddie reaches for his pudding cup. Huh. Maybe he’s sick of jello. “Why are you about to piss your pants over that?”

Steve flips to the first day of notes when Eddie didn’t remember jackshit about Steve in high school. He looks back up at Eddie. “Because that means you remember at least something about high school.”

Eddie shrugs. “I failed a lot of shit. It’s probably because there’s just way too much high school to remember. Something was bound to stick.”

Eddie remembers flunking Senior year.

And even though Eddie is living up to his satanic stereotype with his behavior today, Steve is beyond excited that memories are coming back. He just has to ask one more thing before leaving:

“Do you remember what color sweater I wore yesterday?”

Eddie examines Steve for a very long time. Hoping to spark the correct answer, Steve twirls again. Wiggles his ass. Gives a big, goofy smile.

“You’re weird.” Eddie looks away. Looks down.

Steve exhales loudly.

Eddie doesn’t remember Steve's least vomit-inducing yellow sweater.

Memory Log: Day 5

After Dustin analyzes Steve’s daily entries, they hypothesize that Eddie is struggling the most with short term memories (since he never quite remembers one day prior to the current day). It appears that some of his long term memories are gradually returning, so perhaps a little coaxing will speed those along.

“Well well well, if it isn’t -”

“Catch, Hyde!” Steve tosses a crushed velvety bag into Eddie’s lap.

Eddie pokes at the bag. “Hyde?”

“It’s either Hyde or Katherina.” Steve finally asked Robin the name of that bitchy character from the Taming of the Shrew. “But if you’re gonna play nice today, I’ll just call you Eddie.”

That solicits an audible gasp from him.

He must remember that Steve never calls him by his first name.

“Your references and gifts confuse me.”

“Maybe if you just open the bag, it‘ll un-confuse your sloshy brain.”

He dumps the jangly items onto his side table.

It’s slow - the smile that forms over Eddie’s face. It’s the first time Steve has seen Eddie smile with teeth since that night in the Upside Down. One of his teeth on the bottom row is chipped, but it doesn’t even matter. He’s smiling wide enough to show all of his teeth and that’s the fucking win for today. Everything else is just a bonus. Sprinkles and candles and confetti and party hats.

After so much loss, they needed this win.

“So?” Steve wants words now. Needs smiles and words combined. “See something you like?”

“My dice collection.” Eddie says it like the lyrics to a hymn. As if these geometric blobs are his religion and he’s praising their existence at the altar of his hospital tray.

“Do you remember what kind of dice?” Steve had Dustin give him some key definitions on this fantasy shit. Not for his knowledge, of course - for Eddie. Duh.

“D20s.” He answers fast.

Steve nods, walks over and tries to pick one up. Eddie slaps his hand away quickly. “Get your Grease Lightning fingers away from my children.”

Okay. Well.

Eddie remembers his dice/children (and what they’re called)

Eddie remembers Grease? (Of all the movies Steve thought this guy would reference… Grease? Is it the leather? Hm.)

“Do you…” Steve is nervous for this question because he desperately wants Eddie to get this right. “Do you remember the name of the game you play with these?”

For a second, Eddie’s face drops the same way it did yesterday when he couldn’t remember the color of Steve’s sweater. But the dropped corners of his lips begin to twist into a devilish smirk.

“My dearest Stevie boy,” Eddie’s voice is dripping in that poisonous tree sap kind of way. “Dungeons and Dragons isn’t just a game. It’s a fucking worldwide phenomenon.”

Holy shit. Within those three sentences, Eddie almost sounded like Name Brand Eddie Munson again. The tone he always used with the meatheads at Hawkins High - that tone is back. The eyebrows that inch along his forehead like witchy caterpillars - those eyebrows are back. It’s just three sentences, sure. But it was Eddie rising from his gurney of a grave in many other ways.

Eddie remembers how to use his snarky tone of voice.

Eddie remembers how to make his eyebrows dance around on his face.

Eddie remembers *Dungeons and Dragons*

Steve is so excited, he doesn’t know what to do with his hands? What do hands normally do when they’re excited? Clap? Stay at his side? Flap around? Fuck, he has no goddamn clue, so he just decides to give Eddie a thumbs-up with one hand and ruffle his knotted hair with the other hand.

Multitask the shit out of his excitement.

Eddie laughs along with him now, still admiring his collection. Not even bothering to stop Steve from his hair ruffling thingy. Huh… why is Steve still ruffling Eddie’s hair in the first place?

Okay. He finally stops himself. Has to pull his own wrist away but he stops.

“Guessing it was good day, Munson?” Steve wonders curiously, still watching Eddie roll the dice around in his palm.

Eddie nods. Multiple times. “Good day, Harrington. Good day.”

A prickly sensation hits Steve as Eddie says good day. A sensation that suggests to Steve that he wants Eddie to have more than just Good Days. Steve wants Eddie to have Great Days. Steve wants to give Eddie great days and present them to him in tiny velvet bags.

That’s definitely a turnpike of a thought.

He did this on purpose too. Dustin is coming on Sunday, which means Eddie will remember this moment. He’ll remember the dice and the Good Day. That’s part of Steve’s plan apparently. He’s making plans like that now. Strange.

“It’s funny.” Steve is pondering over his own discoveries, but also Eddie’s faulty memory patterns.

“What is?”

“You have the hardest time remembering the events from the day before…” Steve pauses to reflect. “But you always remember me.”

Eddie drops the dice out of his hands. He doesn’t look at Steve though, he just freezes up. His bangs have grown out quite a bit, but Steve thinks that Eddie’s face is redder than it was just a second ago.

Eddie remembers how to blush.

And Steve is going to milk that reaction completely. “You always remember that I’ll be here the next day. Isn’t that funny?”

Eddie kind of choke-answers him. “Funny sure yeah ha ha.”

Eddie remembers how to feel flustered as all fuck.

“Well,” Steve lifts up - still as smug and devious as ever. “I’ll let you have some alone time to catch up with your children. I’m sure you have lots of adventures to plan together.”

“Right.” Eddie finally sweeps his bangs back, watching Steve head for the door. “Does that mean I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“God willing.” Steve is sort of itching to ruffle Eddie’s hair again, but he doesn’t. “I’ll see ya tomorrow.”

Eddie waves and starts cleaning up his collection, swiping them back into their bag.

“Yellow.” Eddie mumbles very quietly. Almost inaudible.

Steve stops. “What?”

“Your sweater.” Eddie explains anxiously. “The tacky burnable one. It was yellow.”

Eddie remembers Steve's sweater again.

And Steve couldn’t be happier about that. Now he’s the one smiling with all of his teeth. The bonus type of smile on a day full of wins.

“It sure was, Eds.”

#steddie fic #steddie #steve harrington #eddie munson #I'll keep tagging in future parts unless you would like me to un-tag you ☺️#thank you for the love on this ficlet #this one is a little longer but I hope you like it #steddie ficlet #post season 4 au #I thought it might be fun to make my posting date Eddie’s birthday :)#just a smol thing

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anonymouschishiyaimaginesandmore · 1 year

Text

The hard kind of Games

Minors, do not read! Contains mentions of smutty behavior!

MASTERLIST (up-to-date)

This is Part 1 !!Here!! is Part 2

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Alice in Borderland/Imawa no Kuni no Alice characters or original stories, only the plot of this fanfic. Alice in Borderland/Imawa no Kuni no Alice characters and original storyline belong to Haro Aso, who made the Manga the Series is based on.

Trigger Warning: Explicit Smut, Toxic Behavior, Drug Use, Gory, Written Madness, Complicated Consensual/Not-Consensual Behavior Summery: Chishiya x female OC that I gave a Name for this Story

A few days after the next stage started, Chishiya was already on his way to a game.

The blimps flying around got fewer and fewer and no one knew what would happen if the last one fell. Will happen. At some point. Chishiya strived to know.

As he entered the games arena, a huge club with different rooms, his attention was immediately on the number of participants. There were already around 60 players and the game hasn’t started yet.

Chishiya asked himself what kind of game would need so many attendees. No matter what it was, he felt that the answer would come soon, whatever he liked it or not. His attention turned to the growing crowd.

So many faces. The blond man scanned the room, looking at first for familiar faces, from the beach or from his time in the real world and then for signals the other participants were sending out. Micro expressions, a nervous tick, or hidden weapons. The people around him seemed to be either on the edge, alarmed or unconcerned. No one really wanted to be here. Playing live and death games. Chishiya did, tho.

Slow steps led him into the next room, locating where everything and everyone was standing and looking out for any hidden clue or hints that could possibly lead to a win. While the one he stepped in first was the entry to all the other rooms, looking like some fancy hotel lobby, this one delivered a different message -> Welcome to pleasure and lust island <- Red velvet chairs were scattered throughout the whole room and a pompous throne at the end with lines of gold and framed by silky curtain.

This was a room for low human activities. Nothing he wanted to participate in when the danger of dying was all too present. The few people in this room had hijacked the bar already and were drinking like they wouldn’t need each of their braincells to get out alive. Whatever, Chishiya thought, stepping into the next room, they all look like dying anyway.

The next rooms interior design was more like the clubs he was used to in the real world. Colorful neon lights everywhere with loud thuds booming from wall to wall, trying to outdo eachother and followed by single syllable music blasted by speakers. Lasers in all kinds of shapes and forms flew around, reflecting on the mirrors left and right, but none of this awakened in him the desire to dance and surrender to the approaching end, like the people around him did.

In this room of around 20 people, Chishiya’s observant eyes catched a familiar sight. The one of a girl he has seen on the beach, walking around from time to time and aside from that, keeping to herself.

The ex-beach member wouldn’t have thought that from all the survivors of the big ten of hearts game, it would be her who made it this far. He has played a few games where this girl participated in and while she made it to the end, it wasn’t like she played any big part or stood out in any way. At least not to him and Chishiya had an eye for interesting people.

She could have been a no one if Chishiya hasn’t seen her lurking around the hotels entrance sometimes. However, after following her around for a while, he had to come to the conclusion that she was, after all, just a boring no one, who tried to understand what happened to the live she once knew and how to adapt to this one.

His lips turned into an innocent smile, while his feet made fast work to approach her and in less than 10 minutes, he had her wrapped in his web and made her his partner in crime in case the game was about forming teams. Everything was possible and Chishiya was ready for whatever the game masters now came up with, no matter.

The girl introduced herself as Ivy, what Chishiya instantly knew was a lie by the long pause she took before answering him and her body language as she said the name, but the girl did good not to trust him from the get-go and tell him her whole life story, in case he planned to trick her and use her as decoy to get out of a deadly situation.

Chishiya didn’t miss the side eye she gave him and how Ivy never let him out of her sight while he was close.

Good girl, the dyed blond thought, smirking as she glanced sheepishly at him before parting to take a look at the other side of the slowly packing room. You are doing good not to trust me.

Chishiya was sure that his reputation had long made its way to her before she even left the beaches not very secure walls, and it was surely not a good one. After all he was known to use people for his advantage and this girl wouldn’t be different.

However, Ivy wasn’t long gone before wiggling her way thru the crowd back to him, telling him to follow her with a worried expression and twitching fingers grabbing the hem of her plain shirt tightly.

Chishiya did, making his way to where she came from, with Ivy in front of him leading the way, before both of them came to a halt in front of high glass doors that led to a different room with varnish and leather hanging from a huge X.

There was a small group that mostly blocked his view of what everyone was staring at, but Ivy grabbed Chishiya’s hand announced and pulled him further, using her small posture to wriggle around the noisy bodies that pressed her from side to side.

When Chishiya’s brown orbs finally got to see what visibly shocked everyone, he let out a long hmm, grabbing his new partner and pulling her back to the spot he stood before.

Ivy tried to protest, but Chishiya gave her no time. Soon, panic would start to break out and people would accuse eachother to be part of the closed rooms gruesome scene.

The bodies, the blood. A massacre. Cut off limbs and ripped out throats everywhere with shattered bottles and glass covering the red soaked carpet but nonetheless, what preoccupied Chishiya’s turning wheels the most, were the written letters on the otherwise completely clean surface that just didn’t want to swing open anymore.

Room clear. Next will follow.

Panic came as Chishiya predicted and people tried to leave the games venue, but the entrance was blocked, and the only way out was an elevator who’s cubic was at least 4 levels above and therefor unreachable.

That didn’t stop everyone tho. In the next 2 hours 4 people died thru stupid and imperfect tries to climb the elevator shaft, falling to their demise eventually.

“Idiots” Chishiya exclaimed taking a quick look down into the dark nothing, where another player just disappeared “If the doors don’t open, it means the game has started and there is no leaving until its cleared.”

Ivy’s own mindless tries stopped as soon as the second locked room was discovered, around 4 hours since Chishiya’s arrival and again, bodies, blood and people’s guts everywhere. To top things off, no sign of how things had happened.

For Chishiya’s watchful eyes, it was clear the people had killed eachother. The fact that most of the cut open corpses still carried glass shards or knives was indication enough, however no matter how long he starred thru the transparent glass, no lettering or hidden notes on the wall indicated the cause of death.

From then on people lost their shit entirely. Some tried to take over the situation as it always happened with people trying to bring good old law and order into a life and death situation. One man who identified himself as a police officer demanded everyone to split as far away apart as possible, so every single participant could be searched thru for bloodstains and weapons and what not, but his reasonable demands only put him on the wrong side of the spotlight and soon he found himself stabbed by two others that were convinced that he had killed everyone. After all, why else who he demands for people to give up guns and weapons if he wasn’t planning to kill more, right?

Chishiya couldn’t agree less with this logic, but the man died anyway trading his spotlight with the murderers. As more and more people started to accuse eachother, even Ivy standing next to him, following the stupid bickering all too overburdened with the situation, spoke up, protesting against the idea to chain every person scattered in different rooms and to some furniture, until it was clear who did what, but Chishiya stopped her mid-sentence, leaving the way too overcrowded room for a less occupied one and telling her to follow him.

“If you start giving ideas or keep objecting to others, they will get you on their radar and if things don’t turn out as expected you might die like the police guy” the blond man explained, his head gesturing towards the lifeless body of their past fellow player, while walking into the adjoined room with stuffed animals and rainbow shaped couches.

“So, what should I do? Stand around and do nothing while people die?” Ivy asked slightly enraged. Chishiya’s unmoved expression told her his exact answer without muttering a single word “Of course” a bitter smile creeping on her face and Chishiya straitened his shoulders for the impact that would leave him unharmed as always “That’s what you always do” the girl took a step back from her teammate, putting some much needed space between herself and the psychopathic blond “Letting people die around you until you find the answer and then just leaving the game with everyone dying behind” a normal person would now get angry by the hurtful accusations but Chishiya only smirked knowing what the girl was going to say next. They always did. Pointing fingers and call him heartless and what not and yeah maybe he was, but at least he was alive, unlike some of the more caring idiots that lost theirs due to lightning themselves on fire just to keep others warm “That’s awful. Only a monster would do such things and still feel nothing” Chishiya scoffed. His eyes traveled across the overly cutesy furniture “Then why did you agree to team up with me? A Monster. Kind of stupid don’t you think?”

Ivy shook her head as if she was trying to push and throw away the bad thoughts that implicated she might has made a deal with the devil “I don’t know” she confessed honest “Maybe I thought all the others told me some bullshit of just how selfish you really are or perhaps I thought that because I know you from the beach, it would be smarter to trust you then anyone else” this fact should have indeed told her otherwise. After all the beach has never been the promised Utopia Hatter had loved to paint it and no one, not even naïve young Ivy could have overlooked all the terrible things that happened on its terrain “Trusting anyone is always a bad choice” Chishiya stated and Ivy nodded slowly agreeing and looking the man in front of her up and down “Maybe” she said, turning to the side and Chishiya knew she would leave soon, not that he would stop her “But I would rather trust the wrong people and die then to life such a pathetic empty life as you” and with that she left.

Chishiya chuckled, looking after her as her small posture made its way into another room. She would come back, he knew, eventually. It was easy to say such things but when it comes to the desperate will to live, people would always throw someone else to the round just to be the last one standing. Ivy wouldn’t be different. No one ever was, no matter how high and mighty they liked to talk.

Chishiya went to search each room for signs again, discovering Ivy doing the same, tho he didn’t trust her perception and planned to go thru the rooms she already had searched again. No way he would put his life in the hands of someone who barely made it out of past games.

However, he needed her busy or she would lose her cool and flip her shit like all the other participants. That better not happen, the blond ex doctor thought. Not in case I still need you.

Tho he kept his eyes on her, just in case she was the dealer of the game and was planning to get rid of him or tempt other players to do so. After all, Chishiya didn’t saw Miras place in all the games either and here he was, fooled like everyone else.

When she did approach him after some time, carrying a bottle of some soda that she handed over like a good Samaritan, Ivy had nothing to share, beside some Latin words at the entrance that led to all the clubs’ rooms and just as Chishiya decided to take a look himself, the doors of the next room closed and didn’t open no matter how hard people pushed.

How stupid, Chishiya thought. People have already tried throwing chairs and other stuff in their fruitless attempts to open the doors, but apparently, they were made with great precautions, because not even after someone fired a gun aiming at the glass, did it break, or even showed so much as a crack. Instead, it not only bounced off, but also hit another player in the chest after grazing Ivy’s shoulder, who stood too close to the scene and killed the poor fool that just so happened to walk by, instantly.

Curtains fell over the door and for 30 minutes no one saw anything. No information’s of what was happening inside. Then, the curtains lifted, revealing yet another room full of dead players and people scattered around, sinking down on chairs like a bag of potatoes or bundled over in an embryo position, rocking back and forth.

3 Rooms gone, Chishiya counted, seven to go, including the one he was in right now. Chishiya’s eyes shifted towards his teammate, who swallowed hard. Her hand reached for his, but retracted before it could get to it, reminding herself of what kind of person he was and that there was no comfort to expect from him.

“We could be next” she whispered and Chishiya nodded, eyes scanning over the dead bodies he could see.

A lot of participants grabbed the next bottle and drunk themselves into delirium and to be honest, Chishiya could understand them.

This was supposed to be a game and a game always had a goal to win, but this one was more like the king of spades one. There were to specific rules, no instruction on how to play or what to do to clear it. No time limit either and no one knew who their opponent even was. The blimps huge cards showed the King of hearts, but no face has been shown yet. No one even knew if there was a human being behind this game. Chishiya still thought there had to be someone who pulled the strings.

The way he saw it, every 2 hours a room closed, no matter how many people were inside. Why those rooms? He couldn’t tell. There seemed to be no real reason so far and for now he just took it as a random generated choice until he knew more.

Another 3 rooms closed and Chishiya saw Ivy less and less often. Other players would have thought that she was breeding out some wicked plan or was the one behind all of this, but Chishiya knew human beings good enough.

Desperation was catching up on his teammate, making her pace around, blindly searching for any clues to make it out alive. He kept in mind to look for her every 2 hours so if his room was the unlucky one locking itself, he had her at least with him in case he needed her.

2 more rooms closed up and opened their curtains and the players grew less and less. Without no real rest, it was hard to stay calm all the time. Adrenlin pumping thru veins while eyes shifted nervously from person to person, looking for the one who pushed the buttons. Everyone, beside Chishiya, who always kept his cool no matter what.

He saw people fighting against eachother, trying to push others out of the places they had taken right next to the doors. Everyone hoped that, in case the room closed, they only had to be fast enough, sliding thru the small gap away from the source of fire but that was just another stupid idea. Then more and more players disappeared towards the entrance, only to not be seen ever again.

Chishiya knew where they went. His fellow players got so frightened by the unknown that they rather chose to throw away all hope and take the death they knew. All hope. Chishiya titled his head, standing at one of the red velvet rooms walls.

He read something about hope somewhere since he joined this game but the more he tried to remember it, the harder the thought seemed to fight his grasp.

Strange, the self-called genius proclaimed to himself, slowly realizing that more and more of his thoughts seemed to slip away.

Before Chishiya had the chance to really think about it, he spotted Ivy’s face in the crowed fighting thru the mass in his direction. Her face was red, and she seemed to breath heavily. That got him alarmed immediately and he gave up his leaning statue position to walk slow steps towards her direction.

When she finally reached him, she had a hard time breathing. Her hair was sticking to her sweating cheeks as she looked at him, mouth forming words he couldn’t hear.

“What?” he screamed at her, a hand reaching out to hold her in place as Chishiya leaned his head closer to understand her better.

“We have to get out of here” she said and Chishiya looked at her confused, her lips formed the word “Now” as her voice was swallowed by the crowed.

He didn’t have time to comprehend the meaning of them as Ivy suddenly leaned forward, pressing the same mumbling lips on his, kissing him furiously. Wait, what?

Chishiya was taken aback and for a moment, too long for his own liking, he let her proceed. The blond reached for Ivy’s face with both his hands, trying to push her away from him, but instead he found himself, pulling her closer, kissing her back, his tongue devouring the inside of her mouth eagerly.

Now that was unexpected, he thought.

Her hands left her own sides and reached for his chest, scraping over his black shirt and greedy going lower until he felt them slipping under the fabric, touching, and seizing the sensitive skin down to his V Line and the careful trimmed hair. Her small fingers tugged at the hem of his pants, all impatient and Chishiya’s head screamed to push her away. To grab said hands and pull them off him.

This was no place for this kind of act. Besides, there was nothing on said girl that excited him, even the slightest, to start this kind of play with her. Not at the beach and most definitely not in this kind of venue, but he didn’t stop her.

Chishiya made no move to fight her. Said nothing to put her back in her place or let her know that she was indeed the last person he would consider getting intimate with.

Right here, right now? He thought, as he felt fingers opening the knots of his black joggers’ cords, finding the opening instantly and slipping past his underwear down right to his manhood.

Chishiya gasped at the unexpected feeling of her grabbing him, but he didn’t have much time to think about it as she already started moving her fingers around him, pumping him steady while surrounded by a crowd of strangers and kissing him as if they knew eachother for a long time.

He moaned into her mouth. His right hand grabbing one of her arms and nails dug deep into the soft fat of her skin, but he didn’t stop her movements. Didn’t rip her hand out of the boxers confinement and made to fuss as her thumb rubbed impatiently over the tip of his growing member, spreading the beads of precum and wetting his cock while stroking him to her liking.

“What…what are you…doing?” he asked between kisses and other sounds that escaped his mouth way too quickly and grunting as her hold on him tightened, massaging him ambitiously and, how he had to agree, nicely and with good knowledge. That was one thing he could give her.

“The Air” Ivy answered equally breathing hard and feeling the prominent thick vein under her pads pulsing and pumping more and more blood into the rising tent, but Chishiya didn’t understand “The Vents” she said this time, taking his hand into hers and squeezing absurdly painful, while the other made to attempts to stop her actions on him.

Ivy looked into dark orbs and his brain told him that there was something wrong with the way her eyes starred at him. They seemed glazed, brighter than their usual color and her pupils were strangely dilated. More and more sweat was forming on her cheeks and forehead, running down to her jaw and dripping away. The sight somehow electrified Chishiya and he felt himself arousing at the thought where else she was possibly dripping.

“I need you” husky words whispered towards him “Now” pressing her lips on his anew and opening her mouth to allow Chishiya a tour he hasn’t asked for. “I don’t understand” Chishiya mumbled in between his own grunts, sounding stupid and horny in his own ears. He felt like the air was sucked out of his lungs by Ivy and his brain was no help at all. For some reason his body wasn’t moving the way it was told and he was alarmingly unbothered by that fact.

Chishiya felt a pull that got him out of his worrying thoughts, as Ivy dragged him towards the Bar. As they reached it, he was surprised but not aversed as he watched her lifting her skirt and taking of her panties in a hurry, throwing them somewhere he didn’t see, because his eyes were locked on her clothed cunt, awaiting the possible view he could get. She then set down on a stool and pulled him by his shirt towards her, spreading her legs so he could fit right into the space between them with obvious want and Chishiya gasped mentally.

She wasn’t going to do what he thought she would, would she? WOULD SHE?

Chishiya had a hard time, literally, following his own thoughts, but everything in him screamed that this was wrong. Something was happening, but he couldn’t follow the leads to find the bigger picture. His brain was too much in a daze to concentrate properly on anything else than his urge to fuck Ivy right then and there. To be inside of her and finally feeling the luring heat of her warm walls around him, flexing and hopefully not letting go until he came with all his balls could offer.

And he didn’t have the strength to fight this urge either, as he felt her work on his pants again, pushing them down just enough for his erect member to come free and smack against his stomack. When did he get hard? How did this happen? Chishiya wasn’t the kind of guy who oh so easily got excited by some girl in tight clothes, less if the circumstances didn’t fit his demands like right now.

They were in a game. He could die every minute and Ivy too, but his body didn’t seem to care, pumping blood in his lower region with an impressive speed.

“Can’t…stop” the girl whispered, pulling him flush against herself and harshly planting sloppy open-mouthed kisses one after the other. Her Skirt rode up with every grind Chishiya made against her sex, revealing more and more skin but not offering him one glance at what his cock desired the most now.

“Me neither” Chishiya hissed when the red leaking tip of his length poked the plum flesh of her inner thighs, leaving small droplets of milky white pre-cum and smearing it around as his hips rocked back and forth on a desperate search for friction of any kind “What are you doing with me?” the sultry spoken words were born rather out of confusion from the dyed blond man then out of lust. He positioned himself between her thighs as this was an everyday thing. Fucking her in a Club surrounded by people.

For some unknown but worrisome reason, Chishiya couldn’t care less. He sighed deliciously smiling in the most handsome way Ivy has ever seen someone do in her presence, as Chishiya got the tiniest peak of what could await him. After rocking desperately into nothing, struggling to keep his posture for much longer, his dick found the soaking wet place of her cunt, gliding up and down along her folds and spreading the incredible mess Ivy had created onto him, coating every millimeter of his penis for what was to come. It felt like heaven and Chishiya trembled at the thought of how good her pussy could feel, if what he had gotten yet was already so fueling, it left him gasping for air. Literally.

His hands pushed her skirt up entirely, sparking another smile to his face and revealing the lustful cunt that he craved now more than staying alive. As he reached with one hand for her face guiding it to his mouth, Ivy sobbed, tears spilling at the edges of every eyelid, running down her flushed cheeks and onto his hands while she whimpered his answer “I don’t know, Chishiya.” The other one went to her waist, holding her in position, so she couldn’t back away once he started, and he did. With one swift move, no preparation, no getting used to his size, just one move and he was fully inside her.

Ivy yelped in pain, and he liked it. He liked the way she screamed when he was so deep inside her, he could feel her pulse around his cock, beating at the sound of her heartbeat. It turned him on even more then her body ever could “Chishiya stop” Ivy whispered as he pulled all back, but her body betrayed her words. Legs wrapped around his waist, locking him in place and making sure he too couldn’t leave. His tip fell out of her weeping cunt, dropping heavily a few centimeters and arranging a wet squelching sound as her entrance closed and opened again like a living breathing being.

“I can’t” Chishiya panted, titling his hips upwards so his dick raised back to the hole he oh so desired, plunging all in for a second time and listening vulgar at every brutal scream he coaxed out of her body, only to repeat his actions again and again in an agonizing slow way. Ivy’s eyes were shut with force. More and more tears formed around the lids, running down her face and poisoning the ex-doctors mind with thoughts of how hard her tears would spill if he had gone for her throat instead of her pussy. Just as the salty liquid was about to run down her cheeks, he liked them away.

Disgusting, Chishiya thought, but his inside felt turned on by the taste, giving Ivy a few sadistic ruthless trusts “You look so fucking good…mhmm…so damn good, I want to eat you up” words that could very much be interpreted as thrilling dirty talk, were instead said with a morbid and animalistic want to really bite into her flesh and chew on what he could rip out. It was bizarre and Chishiya felt a small part of him was deeply appalled at his own thought, but the more prominent part, the one that had the upper hand right now, making him fuck a girl he didn’t give the minimum of courtesy and treat her to a drink before screwing her lascivious on a chair and seriously contemplating about how tasty Ivy would be if only he could get a tiny bit of her between his teeth. Just the thought alone was so savory it made his mouth water at the sight of her shoulder. His pelvis smacked against her clit, thrilled her body and transported her closer and closer to the euphoria Chishiya’s actions promised.

The blond himself couldn’t be less and more overjoyed at the same time as possible. His body and mind, usually in sync, were now competing against each other. Pushing him towards the joyous extasy his lower abdomen was craving so much but also wishing for nothing more than that it stops. The want to do absurd things he had never even thought about, less felt kinky on, flooded his brain, swearing up and down that he would feel stimulation of his life if he just gave in and plunge his teeth into Ivy’s poor neck. Aching him to try just one bite. It couldn’t hurt right?

Well fucking yes, it will god damn it hurt like hell for the tormented girl and Chishiya knew it. He knew it like he knew the laws of physics and still. His mind swore again and again how tender she would taste. Just a little. One will be okay right? One bite. Just one.

While Chishiya was against everything happening right now, the display of sexual activities in public was at the top of his list, his body seemed to enjoy every second of it. Even craved it. He felt his right hand moving to her chest massaging one breast, pinching, and squeezing her abused nipple nonstop and way harsher then needed. He couldn’t stop tho. He rolled the small, hardened bud between thumb and index finger, pulling unnecessary at it and what should have brought Ivy pleasure only rose more sobbed pleads and repeating “Chishiya it hurts.”

Ivy was a mess. His bodyweight almost crushed her as he leaned further onto her, bending her back over the cushioned seat. The harsh way he trusted into her, screwing a girl raw for the first time in his life without any kind of protection fucking her so forcefully it obviously pained her audibly. All of that should make him stop. He wasn’t the kind of man for such acts. Wasn’t into forcing himself on anyone. He got no pleasure into seeing people hurt or scream in pain, but then again, Chishiya couldn’t tell a time he was more aroused then right now.

He should be ashamed. This was so not him right not. Not his usual self. The blond could tell the same about Ivy, tho he didn’t know her that well. It was like someone else had taken her body hostage. Someone who didn’t minded getting her brain fucked hard, even enjoyed it and Ivy couldn’t stop it from happening. Not that Chishiya would let her go. Ever.

It hurt so much, the way he was pounding into her and still, she pulled him closer, kissed him deeper, pressed her heels into his back, so he couldn’t get away, wouldn’t get away from fucking her.

Pained whines, one after the other, escaped her mouth, tho as Ivy opened her lips, it wasn’t Stop that came out of it, but the Word “Harder” and Chishiya complied.

He put one hand on the bar to support himself as he leaned further onto his very new teammate, trusting at a higher speed. This felt so wrong.

Ivy threw her head into her neck screaming louder, no moans, just painful screams and he knew, he just knew she didn’t enjoy the way he fucked her. His brain was telling him, the signs were all there. The tears, the screams, the way her fists clenched so hard into his outstretched arm, her knuckles turned completely white. Her inside was practically milking him with the way it was non-stop clenching and pulling him back, begging for more.

The signs were all there, but his body didn’t care and hers didn’t either. “I want you so much” Chishiya whispered, leaning forward and sloppy kissing the shoulder he eyed for so long after grabbing her shirts string and pulling it down the whole length of her arm. She tastes salty, what was only logic after all the liquid her body was sweating out like it was mid-summer heat, however the aroma didn’t rapture his doing. He kissed up and down along every little part of her shoulder, running his tongue along her neck and slurping like he could suck her blood out of her body, if only he could kiss her harder.

However, Chishiya’s intrusive thoughts won over his aversion to pain someone who hasn’t done anything against him nor was standing in his way of survival. He was surprised how brutal he was as he bit the soft part of her shoulder way too hard. Teeth tearing into skin, then flesh, drawing unnecessary blood that he licked and sipped away eagerly, only to dig deeper until he was sure, his whites had grazed a bone and he finally stopped. He gulped the liquid down his throat taking a good look down at the visible mark he created and realizing with definitely not enough shock that he could make out every single one of his teeth perfectly aligned and molded into Ivy forever “I want to ruin you”, he made his nonsense of thoughts space, watching in horror how Ivy laughed at his statement seemingly happy, but sobs broke every single one of her small fits as she pulled him down again, tasting her own flavor on his lips.

“I don’t want to die” she whispered before laughing maniacally again and kissing him so feverously he stopped his hips for a moment, falling completely into the act and forgetting for a moment how wrong this was, until they parted, and she mumbled so quiet against his lips, he almost didn’t hear it “Please don’t kill me Chishiya.”

He heard her, he really did, but the blond man somehow couldn’t care. The bite. He licked a long stripe over the wound, his tongue circling over it, stopping her healing process and drawing further spilling blood. It must have hurt a lot, he thought, because it was bleeding like crazy. He licked the blood away again, kissing the spot, as his eyes wander around. That’s when he caught sight of his surroundings and the sudden view mixed with the meaning of what he saw, shook him to his bones.

People have lost their minds. Everyone was fucking insanely, screwing eachother over broken furniture and it was not in a good way. Some were going at it, punching each other while their bodies smacked loudly against one another. One couple was moving in the same position he and Ivy did, just that the guy was purposely ramming a broken piece of glass into the woman’s throat, not stopping while she cackled maniacally and kissed him wildly, aggressively ripping out parts of his tongue and chewing on it like it was the most delicious thing she ever had.

His eyes moved further along to a guy behind the bar right in front of him. He had a girl down on her knees with her arms loosely hanging around her body, while he trusted into her mouth grunting and growling, holding her in place by the tight grip on her jaw. She was dead. Chishiya knew it by the way her hands swayed back and forth with the man’s movement but he didn’t seem to mind it. Parts of Chishiya even believed he enjoyed it as much as the blond man reveled in the sight.

It weirdly reminded him of a doll. That was crazy. The people around him were killing each other while screwing violently. Everyone was crazy. And to his own shock, Chishiya had to come to the conclusion that he also had gone crazy with his acts and the fact he felt no real remorse beside that tiny shrilling part of his brain that begged him again and again, to please stop his actions. They had already gone so far. Please, his brain pleased with him, but Chishiya was unable to follow, no matter how much he wanted, and he did want to, as he looked down on Ivy, bleeding from her shoulder, screaming while he couldn’t stop himself pounding her harder and harder.

Realization hit him. He was going to kill her.

Chishiya already felt the urge for his hand to grab her throat. As soon as he couldn’t suppress that anymore, he would probably squeeze her so hard, choking her, while still not stopping from filling her cunt with his cock again and again. Maybe, he thought, as his eyes went to the people around him again, maybe he would still be going after he killed her.

Chishiya didn’t feel his release coming. No urge for it. Just an animalistic necessary to fuck her as hard as he could. His eyes went up and landed on the ceiling and then again, realization, as his eyes made out the vent in the corner.

That’s what Ivy tried to tell him. Something was pumped thru the vents into the room, making everyone go crazy on each other. In his head he was going thru all existing gas-like drugs that could cause such a behavior. His body moving meanwhile on autopilot.

He felt bad. The way he was hurting her... It wasn’t on purpose, but they were still his hands grabbing her right leg, pulling it over his shoulder so he could get a better angle and going deeper and harder, while angling her further and kneading her breast while she trashed in front of him, but still pulled him closer, calling out and begging him to stop with the same voice that told him to not do it. His fingers pulling her hair back with so much force he was sure her neck should have snapped. Nails digged so hard into the tender skin of her exposed tights, it started bleeding and still, he didn’t stop it. Couldn’t bring himself to do it, no matter what. He dug harder, caused her so much discomfort, Ivy had a hard time breathing between all the sobs and screams.

Chishiya glimpsed at her chest and the way it was raising in distress. It turned him on and made him want to puke at the same time. How long until she broke under him?

If he kept bending her over that stool the way he did, it wouldn’t be long until he would snap her spine in half. That would be terrible. She wouldn’t die right away but it would rather make her unable to move. Chishiya decided he couldn’t wait any longer, he had to do something, or he would be soon humping a dead corpse.

His mind was reaching for the last thought he had. A part of him remembered that he had discovered something, just before the effect of the drug apparently kicked in and Ivy had found him.

Ivy. He would kill her after screwing her and he didn’t even know her real name. What would have happened if she hadn’t found him? Would someone else already stabbed her to death while impaling her small body on his cock?

Or would she be the one on top, scratching the poor guy’s eyes out while rutting her hips back and forth? Was she going to plug his out? Chishiya imagined her tiny fingers plunging into his eye sockets, ripping every eyeball out separately. Goosebumps formed on his body but the thought of watching her doing this turned him disgustingly on. Chishiya pushed those thoughts away. They were distracting and not helpful at all.

His mind grabbed and reached for the aha moment. What was it again? Something…Somewhere…fucking…shit. Chishiya had to come to the conclusion that his mind was unable to think about anything else then its carnal desire to pump this female body under him with his cock, watching her switch between screams and cries for more and begging him to please not stop, while trashing around helplessly.

Instead, Chishiya ripped his eyes away from this sight. His stomachs insides were circling around, and it didn’t help to constantly remind himself of his upcoming doom if he wasn’t able to come up with something as a plan to restrain himself in any way possible.

His gaze went over the rapidly decreasing number of survivors. Less than 7 people were still standing, at least somehow. 2 pairs were going at eachother in the corner of Chishiya’s eyes. At the other side, two females were murderously making out with a guy. One blew him while the other was chewing on his jaw, ripping parts of skin and flesh out and eating him alive, while all the man was doing nothing else then lying there and smiling in a disturbing bloody way. His lips, at least the parts that were still there, widened as he catched sight of Chishiya looking at him, waving him over and inviting to also have a snack.

No thanks, the blond thought, cannibalism has never been one of his kinks.

Instead, something else catched his attention. A door behind the threesome couple and Chishiya went thru his head where it could be leading. His mind was slow while his hips picked up their pace. And then it hit him. The thought he had before all of this started.

Hope. Chishiya’s face contorted bitterly at the obvious fact. This game was meant for people to lose all hope and kill eachother. The less they fought against the drug and with that against the urge to kill, the less they would have to endure pain and agony at watching people die by their own hands. A true heart game.

He remembered that Ivy had told him that the only note-like thing she found were Latin words at the entrance and at one of Chishiya’s rounds thru the games venue he had seen them. His mind recalled the words, pressing them to the surface with want -> Lasciate ogne speranza, voi ch'intrate <-

“Abandon all hope, ye who enter here” Chishiya mumbled the words translated. A sentence that according to Dante was written over the gate that led to hell.

Chishiya pressed his forehead against Ivy’s sweaty one, laughing relieved but also a tad nervous. This was the hint he had been searching for and he overlooked it the whole time. If the phrase was written over the door frame that led to all the clubs, it meant that the clubs were meant to be hell and thus, to escape hells influence, one must get out of it.

The lobby. The only save space, because it was the room before the words welcomed every participant into hell, but how was he supposed to get there now that the room has closed itself up.

Chishiya’s clouded brain reminded him of the couple of 3 murderous players, but he didn’t want to think about them, pushing it aside. However, something in his mind was bugging him to go over it again and as Chishiya finally gave in and looked at the still overly disturbing view his eyes widen at the door behind them. It wasn’t supposed to be there.

It was none of the glass-like ones that led one room to the other and back and Chishiya couldn’t remember seeing it somewhere else. However. There was one of the heavy velvet curtains right next to it, so maybe he hasn’t seen it because it was hidden all the time?

Whatever it was, since there was no other way out, this door had to be the one leading to some, hopefully, safe space away from this literal hell. An idea came to his mind.

Chishiya straightened his posture as good as he could. He reached for the nearest glass, grabbing it and fighting the urge to slay Ivy with it. Instead, he pulled it at himself, crashing at his head so hard it broke and shattered in countless pieces.

The sudden impact made his body stop its movement, tumbling a few steps back.

Ah yes, pain, he thought, trying to control his breathing. He saw changes in the corner of his eyes and when he looked up, his brown orbs catched Ivy sitting up. The right side of her shirt was hanging loosely. Apparently, he had ripped it without realizing it. Her body was shaking with sobs while she looked at him questioning why he had stopped what she probably craved just as much as he did.

3 fast steps, that’s all it took him to get to her, putting his hands around her throat.

There was pressure from his squeezing, but he wasn’t choking her yet. The shock in her eyes was painful. She knew he was going to kill her now, she likely concluded this by herself, but seeing him going at her that way must be a different thing. He leaned his forehead against hers. Her helpless whimper only broken by a soft-spoken Word “Chishiya.”

He kissed her hard, no love, no caring, just lips on lips. Ivy’s mouth opened and his tongue pressed against hers in a lewd and sinful way that he would have enjoyed if his next thought wasn’t to bite it off “Run” Chishiya whispered what catched her attention “Run away from me.”

He grabbed a sharp piece of the glass he had shattered at his head and stabbed himself into his torso “The door” he hissed uncomfortable. His head gestured in the direction of the 3 now almost lifeless bodies. Ivy followed his gaze, landing on the same spot and somehow, she seemed to understand quicker than the blond man himself. Chishiya pressed the sharp piece deeper, eliciting another stinging wave of pain.

It hurt and it bled instantly but he would be okay. After all, the ex-doctor knew exactly were to puncture without harming any vital organs. He groaned and in one swift move threw Ivy off the stool “Run” he screamed again, turning the glass in its wound to increase the pain.

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tellmealovestory · 8 months

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Haunted

Summary: An afternoon walk on a crisp fall day leads to story time.

Warnings: 1 line of suggestive dialogue and a few curse words.

Spooktober Masterlist

In your experience the disadvantages outweighed the advantages to living in a small town.

Small town living involved too few places to shop or eat. The same familiar faces you’ve known and seen since you were a child. Everyone knows your business and secrets.

But the one thing you loved about small town life was the way everyone went all out decorating for the holidays.

Once the leaves started to change from bright green to burnt orange and ruby red and golden yellow the pumpkins started to come out. On display in big cardboard boxes at the grocery stores for sale and sitting in trailers on the edge of town fresh from the farmers own patches.

Cutout bats and witches hats dotted store windows and the shelves were overfilled with bags of chocolates and suckers. Orange, green and purple pumpkin pails for trick or treating came out as did the halloween costumes ranging from the cute to the downright scary.

You loved getting bundled up in heavy sweaters and scarves, boots and plaid jackets as you strolled through the town you’ve called home since you were born, leaves crunching beneath your feet, a hot cup of coffee with a little cinnamon sprinkled on top for that extra fall feeling.

That’s what you and Eddie found yourselves doing one afternoon. The sun was bright and golden, warming your chilled skin as you held his hand and leisurely wandered through the neighborhoods looking at the decorations of each house as you did.

Conversation was light, but every few seconds he squeezed your hand and you rewarded him with a wide smile.

Reaching the edge of town after a bit of time you stopped to retie your boot laces that had come undone when Eddie broke the silence.

“Fucking hate this house. Gives me the creeps every time I see it.”

You glanced up first at Eddie and then at the house.

It didn’t look familiar, but you were sure you must have driven or walked past it at least a few times in your life.

It was the kind of place that you would have remembered.

A brown fence wrapped around the property with planks of wood missing on about half of it. A crudely written no trespassing sign was painted in what you hoped was red paint and not blood dripped down on certain letters making it appear more sinister than it should.

The grass was overgrown, weeds sprouting up and you wondered why the city hadn’t come to cut it down when the house appeared to be empty. Your gaze traveled up to the porch and even on the sidewalk you could see huge chunks of wood missing, a wide empty crater that made you wonder how many thrill seekers had tripped over it or ended up in the middle while eagerly exploring or fleeing the house.

Some of the windows were broken, a few boarded up with sun faded planks of wood in a criss cross pattern. The windows that were still intact had dull colored curtains still hung up and a few swayed as if someone was standing behind them and moving them.

There was a hole in the roof and you wrinkled your nose thinking of how much rain and snow must come in during the seasons and how the place must reek of mold with rotten floorboards and how it must be a haven for mice and rats and bats.

Standing up you shivered despite the lack of a breeze. There was something unsettling about the house. Eddie rocked back and forth on the balls of his feet before changing to bouncing on them. He looked so much like a kid who had a secret he was dying to tell someone and you found it kind of cute.

“Okay,” you said, dragging the syllables of that word out as you brought your coffee cup up to your lips. “Spill it. What’s the deal with the house?”

Eddie let out a whoosh of air as if keeping silent had been killing him while you took it all in.

“It’s haunted as shit.”

“That so?”

“Oh yeah.” He paused to join you as you booth took in the decrepit house. His eyes took on a faraway look as he began to launch into his story of the haunted as shit house as he so eloquently put it only seconds ago.

“When I was a kid I broke into it.”

You snorted because somehow that didn’t surprise you. His gaze slid to yours, a sheepish grin on his face and he shrugged his shoulders seeming to say yeah, would you expect anything less from me?

“Wasn’t a dare or anything like that. Just bored one day. Place is weird as shit. All the furniture is still inside covered with sheets. Peaked under it outta curiosity and it’s still in mint condition, not a speck of dust on it.”

It was hard to reconcile that image with the dilapidated house you stood in front of.

“Rest of the house is full of dust though,” he continued. “Stairs creak like you wouldn’t believe. Even more than my bed when I’m fuck-”

“Eddie!” you cut off with a laugh much to his disappointment.

“Anyways,” he said, following your lead and dragging out the syllables of that word. “After I finished exploring downstairs I went upstairs to see what it was like. No furniture, but it was freezing. Went to that window right there.” He pointed to the right side of the house, the windows on the second floor where the curtains were still fluttering as if there was a fan on.

He paused and you weren’t sure if it was for dramatic effect or because he too was starting to get freaked out by this story and this house.

“Looked out at the yard for a few minutes and when I turned around there was this old lady standing in the doorway. ‘Cept she wasn’t solid like us. I could see right through her to the wall.”

Goosebumps popped up on your arms through your thick wool sweater and instinct was telling you it was time to go while common sense was trying to poke holes in his story to discover the truth. But he wasn’t done yet.

“Thought at first it was my imagination. Swear I wasn’t high at the time,” he added quickly as if he knew that was going to be your next question.

“So what did you do? After you saw her standing there?”

Eddie’s cheeks turned pastel pink and you were pretty sure it’s the first time you’ve ever seen him blush before. He ducked his head down as if embarrassed by what took place in the next part of the story.

“Do what I always do. Ran away. Got the fuck out of there.” He laughed a little, but there was little humor in it. Rubbing the back of his neck he glanced up at the house again before turning to you. There was no sparkle in his eyes, no hint of that familiar smirk on his lips letting you know he was about to tell you a tall tale, his shoulders were tense, hunched in even as if all these years later that day was still haunting him.

“Have you ever been back?” You asked softly, already thinking you knew the answer to that question.

He shook his head, curls dancing along his still pastel pink cheeks.

“Naw. Try to avoid this part of town.”

“I’ve lived here my whole life,” you started as you slipped your hand into Eddie’s and turned around to head back to civilization and non-haunted houses. “I don’t know how I’ve never heard any rumors about that house or even remember seeing it.”

Eddie shrugged and allowed you to pull him away. With your backs to the house and conversation turning to lighter topics the curtains that had been fluttering parted to show an old woman standing at the window wearing a faded white nightgown watching you leave.

#eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x you #eddie munson fan fiction #eddie munson imagine #eddie munson #my writing

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princehee · 1 year

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Renegade Pt. 1 || Lee Heeseung

Pairing: heeseung + female reader

Warnings: smut, one-sided feelings, use of drugs, troubled past, not a happy ending, eating out (lmk if I need to add more)

Synopsis: Based on the song Renegade by Aaryan Shah

Word count: 1.4k

This is my first ever post on this site so I'm still getting used to the editing tools. You can find my other works on Wattpad @Sirishaxoxo

You had your statistics book lying open on your desk for a while but not a word read. Your eyes were busy scanning the person sitting across the class, at least 3 rows apart from your seat, making your task of scanning quite challenging. Nonetheless, the glimpse of his hair and broad shoulders did put a smile on your face but that smile was not to last for too long before you snapped back into the reality as you remembered how the past few weeks had been going for the both of you, mostly just you.

You knew that Heeseung pretty much stayed oblivious to the efforts you put in to see him happy, to the way pleasure crept your body with his touch, you knew him too well that it hurt you for not having these feelings reciprocated.

It could take you just a few minutes to find someone new and move on, but you somehow felt that you were owned by him, from the gleaming look in his eyes to the gentle approach in his touch, you were too used to him to even give the thought of moving on a chance. You knew too well how it would end but you'd been telling yourself everyday that you wanted to be a part of that kind of an ending as long as he was in it too.

Of course, your friends had warned you he was no good. That it was too late for him to go back to being normal. But how could you give up on something that felt so right.

It was yet another round of these recurring thoughts in your head that you had to shake off to even notice the bell ring. The tall boy was already out of sight, just as usual. You grabbed your bag and made a quick run to his car, hoping it was still parked there and to your luck it was.

You got to the car and noticed Heeseung walking towards the car too, his face remaining stoic making you feel unwelcomed but as mentioned before, you were just used to it.

"My place?" He asks you in a low voice that almost came out as a whisper with the last syllable ending in a register higher than the one before letting you know it's a question. You pursed your lips into a thin line and gave him a nod.

His place was a little close to the college so you both got to his studio apartment in no time. As soon as you closed the door behind you, you heard Heeseung dumping his bag with a thud on the floor and getting rid of his hoodie, revealing his toned abs. You knew the drill, so you inched closer to him and mirrored his actions and got rid of your shirt. He swept you off of your feet and carried you to the bed.

If you were your past self, you would've said something, asked him how his day went, tell him that you'd been craving his touch the whole time during the classes but by this time you both had already justified silence as the ultimate stance.

You had some time to look into his eyes before his hair started to cover them up again, red as blood. You could tell that he was on it again, but it was not your place to dig deeper into it. You already did that once and it didn't end so well, so you just let him have his way of dealing with life. You were in for the pleasure anyways, at least that's what you wanted to believe.

You closed your eyes as you felt his lips brush over your shoulder and onto the crook of your neck. He took his time at making you feel comfortable with him again. He brought his arms under your waist to keep stroking your sides while his mouth devoured your neck. You couldn't keep your hands to yourself, so you gently brought his jaw closer to where your lips were at and gave him one good look, as if you were seeking for his permission to kiss him. He was not really being himself with the amount of weed he had in his veins, so he let you have your way with him.

You connected your lips with his and grunted into the pleasure from feeling him after so long. You felt his tongue exploring the depths of your mouth as he deepened the kiss while his arms moved up to reach your bra and pull the straps down your arms.

Your hands reached his pants, trying to desperately get them off of him. After you both were done getting naked under the sheets, Heeseung sank down between your legs and started eating you out, just the way you liked it. You grabbed his hair and tried pushing him further in as he moaned into your clit, causing a little vibration inside of you. Every little thing he did to you brought you so much joy and you wished it was the same for him too.

It had been only a few minutes since you both started making out and you already reached your edge, you gripped the sheets tighter trying to last long enough, just so you could keep feeling him even if it meant a few more seconds. Because you knew that once this was done, you'd probably not get to see him for another week and lately you'd been doing so bad at the waiting.

He kept pleasuring you so good with just his tongue, you would occasionally catch him looking over at you and you hated to admit it but you loved the way he looked at you, even if his expressions were plain for most part.

You were lost in thoughts again and subliminally spoke his name out of habit "Hee"

"Hmm?" His gentle hum against your core pushed you off the edge and you came all over his face just like that. He brought his face close to your ears this time and let his body fall on yours. His arms wrapped your lower body as he rested his face over your neck, letting his chest fall and rise with each breath in synchrony with yours.

As for you, you were still stuck in that hum he let out a little while ago. It was something unusual of him to respond to you even in the slightest way so you thought it could be the drug probably taking over him, nonetheless you wanted to hear it again, so you called his name in a whisper, keeping your voice as audible as possible only for him to hear.

"Yes, baby?"

You stopped playing with his hair as soon as you heard the pet name from him for the first time. He noticed the sudden halt in your movement and quickly met your eyes to understand what he had done. He started realizing what he had just said, something he hadn't in years, something he wished he never did again.

#heeseung smut #enhypen heeseung smut #enhypen smut #heeseung #lee heeseung smut #enhypen #lhs #kpop smut #smut #enhypen heeseung #lee heeseung

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teacasket · 1 year

Text

cruel summer

genre: fluff, angst au: non-idol au warnings: none word count: 0.5k pairing: gn!reader x lee minho song: cruel summer by taylor swift mini series: cruel summer // august // betty // cardigan // the 1 a/n: the reader in this is not the same reader as betty or cardigan. this reader is minho’s summer friend.

DEVILS ROLL THE DICE, ANGELS ROLL THEIR EYES.

The soda can lands against the door of the vending machine with a thunk. When you bend down to grab it, you ask Minho again, “You sure you don't want anything? I can pay for you, you know.”

As expected, he replies, “I’m good. Pier or beach?”

“Pier.”

You walk side-by-side with him and take special care to not look at him. You’re not supposed to look at him. Not even when the sunset is in your eyes, when there’s nowhere else to turn your head. You’re just friends. Friends don’t look at each other the way you look at him.

You keep your gaze steady on the wooden planks. You feel every bump and whorl under your sneakers. Through the slats, you watch the tides lap at the sand, desperate to make it farther than the dark border painted on by their predecessors. It would be so easy if friendship had an easily discernible line. At least you would know if you were toeing it. Instead, you have to rely on instincts and hope that you’re on the safe side. The right side. But the more time you spend with Minho, the more you want to leap over the blurry gray area and into definitive love.

“What are you thinking about?”

“Nothing,” you say too quickly. When he snorts, you admit, “You.”

“Me?”

It’s only one syllable, but you hear his amusement curling around it like smoke. Where there’s smoke, there’s fire, but Minho has always been good at luring you to the flames. You’ll make a joke, he’ll laugh at it, you’ll take another step into forbidden territory.

“Yeah,” you reply. You lean against the metal railing and finally crack open your can of soda. “Why are you always chewing bubble gum?”

He chuckles and shoves his hands into the pockets of his jeans to search for his pack of gum. Another question you could have asked: “Why do you insist on wearing jeans in the summer?”

“I’m not chewing gum right now,” he says. “I don’t know. Gives my mouth something to do, I guess. Want one?”

While you shake your head, he takes one for himself. With the same amusement in his voice, he says, “I bet you’re just jealous ‘cause you can’t blow bubbles.”

“That’s not true.”

“I’ve never seen you do it before. Do it now.”

He doesn’t know about the smoke in his voice and its effects on you. You feel it tugging at your wrists and almost take a stick of gum. Instead, you catch yourself in time and lamely answer, “I should drink my soda before it goes flat.”

“Knew it. Watch this.”

Like he commands, you watch with tamed envy as the pink bubble between his lips gradually expands. It would be so easy to make the wrong choice right now, to kiss the other side bubble and pray that he doesn’t pull away when it pops.

So, so easy.

WHAT DOESN’T KILL ME MAKES ME WANT YOU MORE.

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bbutterflies · 5 months

Text

major thank you to everyone who’s been so excited for my (second) fake dating adrino fic!! chapter 1 is up now on ao3 go read it it's so fun!

Everything I’ve wanted

Summary:

Nino really didn't mean to get himself tangled up in the life of someone like Adrien Agreste. But it was kind of hard to say no to dating him, even if it was all fake, when he learned that Adrien was more than just a hot model. He was funny and kind and patient and a great listener – but definitely nothing more than a fake boyfriend.

Excerpt below the cut!

Nino was kind of regretting coming to this bar. It had just opened and it had seemed cool at first, but the music sucked and he was bored. He’d only had one drink and was already debating just calling it a night as he waited at the bar for another drink. This bar was weird, anyway. Some kind of rich, exclusive-type deal, he was pretty sure? He’d been excited at the idea of going out and trying something new. He usually did with Alya and Marinette, but they’d both moved to New York for work months ago, and as happy as he was for them, he was lonely without them. He’d made the impulse decision on his night off to come here.

He wished he hadn’t now, after waiting outside of this bar for an hour and paying an insane cover to get in and now being bored and hating the music. He’d finish this drink he was waiting for, he decided, and then probably just head home.

The last thing he expected was for someone – a blond, green-eyed, drop-dead gorgeous someone – to come up to him. “I need a huge favor.”

Nino stared back at him. “Who are you?”

The man grinned, eyes shining. “Someone who’s about to be incredibly grateful for your help. Do you see that girl behind me who’s, like, definitely staring at me right now?”

Nino looked over his shoulder, and there definitely was a girl watching them. “Yeah?”

“I’m trying to be nice, but I’m not into her, and she won’t leave me alone. I may have told her you were my boyfriend. And she didn’t believe me.”

Nino snorted. The entire idea that this hot stranger was his boyfriend was laughable – Nino had barely even started coming out as bi, let alone flirting with boys enough to get a boyfriend. And this guy was definitely out of his league. “Well, because you’re a liar.”

“I happen to be a very famous liar and I promise I’ll make it worth your time if you play along.” He clasped his hands in front of his chest. “Please?”

Nino leaned on the bar. “Yeah? What do I get out of it?”

The man shrugged. “A kiss, maybe. If you want it.”

“Tempting,” Nino said, and he was only half joking. This guy was cute. The bartender was back with his drink, and, well, he had an idea. “You buy the rest of my drinks tonight.”

“Done.”

“Well then, babe,” Nino said, holding out the glass. “Here you go.”

“For me? You shouldn’t have.” He glanced at it. “Like, really, you shouldn’t have. What is that?”

“Um. Alcohol?”

He stuck out his tongue. “I mean, I’ll obviously cover your tab, but that looks disgusting.”

“You don’t even know what it is.”

“Yeah, I’m getting something else.”

Nino watched him flag down the bartender and order himself a drink (some stupid seltzer that totally made sense for him to drink). “Do I at least get to know my boyfriend’s name?” he asked when the man turned back to him, drink in hand.

“Adrien.”

“That’s a lot of syllables.”

“Excuse me? It’s not that long.”

Nino shrugged. “You need a good nickname. I’ll come up with something.”

“Mm-hm. Do I get to know your name?”

“You should’ve asked before you asked me out. Honestly, I’m not convinced this isn’t some super convoluted pick up line.”

“While I would absolutely use a pick up line as complicated as this, it’s unfortunately real. That girl seriously won’t leave me alone.” Adrien stole a glance over his shoulder and turned around quickly when he realized she was still staring. “Like, really? How has she not figured out I’m not interested?”

“You don’t like girls?”

“I just don’t like her, really. And she’s just so drunk. It felt weird.”

“Well, I appreciate you not flirting with girls at bars,” Nino joked.

Adrien blinked back at him. “What?”

“Because we’re dating?” Nino explained, giving Adrien a playful shove. “C’mon, Dri, you gotta keep up.”

#everything I’ve wanted #it’s gonna be SO fun and silly guys I promise you’re gonna like it!#also very gay I’m kinda going overboard this time it’s simply what the fic is asking for I’m just following the whims of the google doc #miraculous ladybug #adrino #adrien agreste #nino lahiffe #my writing #my art

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coquelicoq · 8 months

Text

been paying more attention to my r sounds in french lately and while i do default to the voiced uvular fricative /ʁ/ most of the time, in intervocalic contexts i'm doing what i'm pretty sure is a voiced uvular approximant /ʁ̞/ maybe half the time? i wasn't sure if it was a tap/flap or an approximant, but it does sound a lot like the audio clip for the approximant, and apparently the approximant is often an allophone for the fricative, while the tap/flap is an allophone for the trill (which makes sense since a tap/flap is basically an abbreviated trill), and i don't really do uvular trills in speech.

the fricative has always been difficult for me and at this point i doubt it will get much easier than it is now. it makes sense that as i learned to speak faster i would end up producing the approximant in at least some contexts, and i suppose that it makes sense that the main context in which that happens is intervocalic, since approximants are kind of like if you took a fricative halfway to being a vowel.

the reason i've been thinking about this lately is i've been listening to a lot of stromae and his r sounds keep jumping out at me. i mentioned in some tags the other day his r sounds in bonne journée (skip to 1:24):

Si l'bonheur [tap/flap?] des autres [elided] te rend [trill] malheureux [trill] C'est qu't'es un rageux [tap/flap?] Si l'malheur [trill?] des autres [elided] te rend [trill] heureux [approximant??] C'est qu't'es un rageux [tap/flap?]

that sound in heureux in the third line is really interesting because he pronounces that exact word (within the word malheureux) two lines before, but there he's clearly trilling the r, and here he is not, and it doesn't sound like a tap or flap to me either! it sounds like an approximant!

he does do the uvular fricative as well...specifically in consonant clusters (also in variation with trills) (skip to 1:37):

Tu profites [fricative] jamais vraiment [trill?] de ce moment présent [fricative] En fait t'es juste dépressif [fricative]

elsewhere in the song he seems to trill a lot of consonant cluster rs, so i think it may also be a function of syllables/second - in these two lines he's going really fast, and possibly fricatives are faster to pronounce than trills? they certainly are for me, but i'm not sure if that's because i'm not a native speaker or because of some fundamental property of trilling.

between a vowel and a consonant he's sometimes doing a trill and sometimes something else, i think an approximant but it might be a fricative. hell, maybe it's a tap/flap. (rs in this context are fairly difficult for me to distinguish with any accuracy if they're not trills or really emphasized fricatives, so fuck if i know.)

ultimately i think he (at least in song) trills every r possible and resorts to (not consciously, obviously) one of the other options when necessary. i am nowhere near that proficient at uvular trills and can pretty much only do them on extended notes (because they take extra time for me to pronounce) and on higher pitches for some reason. i'd love to learn the uvular tap/flap, and it's probably the fastest of all the options (citation needed but it feels right lol), so maybe a year from now, when my speaking speed has increased another incremental amount, i'll notice that i've started spontaneously producing those as well. i live in hope.

#rs are hard! my kingdom for an r sound i can actually pronounce at the beginning of a word #also i would LOVE to be able to identify r sounds in the V_C context. idk why that's so hard #like say the word merci. what kind of r is that?? you CAN do a fricative there but i think most people don't actually #but what are they doing instead?? i don't know what to call that #if i ever meet a real phonologist or phonetician in the wild i am going to become the bane of their existence #hounding them night and day with my speech sound questions #i once asked my phonetics prof what sound i was making in the word-initial thr context #i thought maybe it was a trill. she gave me a very annoyed look and told me it was a tap or flap. ok sorry i guess?????#then i never asked her a question ever again haha #but i'm past caring about annoying phonetics professors now. throw one at me universe and i'll show just how annoying i can be #french #my posts #fun with pronunciation #phonetics #phonology #my most common use for the uvular trill is quite honestly not in french at all. it is when imitating chewbacca <3 #something i do more often than one would think it would be relevant #also in gargling? but i don't gargle very often #anyway this post doesn't have a point i'm just recording my thoughts on french r sounds #so i can look at it in a year and see how my thoughts have changed #littleragondin this one goes out to you also if you're listening :*

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the-gayest-tree-you-ever-did-see · 2 months

Text

all my ttpd notes on each song before public opinion (overall opinion of the album at the end)

i didnt include tracks 1-6 bc ive posted about them already, but ill add them slowly by eod tomorrow most likely

fresh out the slammer

this is the track i was most excited for i think

oh title drop very early

fresh. out. the slammer. uhhh

i love the flow on all of the songs but i especially like this, its very fluid

FOR JUST ONE HOUR OF SUNSHINE!!!

in the shade of how he was feeling

the flow is very midnight rain i think

OOOH THE CHANGE AT 2:25 I LOVE THISSSSS

"im the girl of his american dreams" OMGGGG

i like the second half way better but the song is awesome

i think what im noticing about the album overall (so far) is it feels very empty production wise. its mostly her voice carrying it through but its hollow and i really think we need a more full production on this, or at least some parts of it. it feels uneven yk? or sort of unfinished, like she had the vocals and just slapped something behind it

florida!!!

VERY VERY EXCITED FOR THIS FLORENCE!!!!!!

and my friends all smell like weed or little babies.... ok.

okkkk less than a minute in and this is sooo anti-capitalist for a billionaire

FLORENCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i was so scared she'd be swept aside

"all my girls got their lace and their crimes"

so many mentions of a cheating husband on this album

"is that a bad thing to say in a song?" I LOOOOOVE MENTIONS OF THE MEDIA IN THAT MEDIA

FLORIDAAAA!! IS ONE HELL OF A DRuug..........

you can kind of here the thinness (??) of taylor's voice next to florence, the depth is lacking -- not necessarily bad, just something you can hear more with this track

some parts of it ("little did you know...") sound sort of like everybody wants to rule the world, idk if thats just me

guilty as sin

love the production this is so niceee

am i allowed to cry!

"oh what a way to dieeeee"

MESSY TOP LIP KISS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

without ever touching his skin, how can i be guilty as sin............ is this about matty healy please

the quiet distorted "what?" in the bg is very bejeweled

my bedsheets are ablaze

the melody on this is lowkey kind of boring. theres points where i expect her to do something interesting with her voice and flick up or drop low or trill and it just doesnt happen. would be very cool if that was there

"long suffering propriety" that whole bridge is written well but sung so clunky? like it doesnt sound natural it sounds like syllable filler yk? and i know this bc i do it way too much KSJDCHIUHRFIUH

ending with am i allowed to cry, its very much an internal song. idk how to explain it but shes looking in, and when she says am i allowed to cry, shes looking up. <- what???

whos afraid of little old me?

ooooh it starts out so cunty

"my bare hands paved their paths"

you dont get to tell me about sad!

I LOVE THISSS its so mad woman its so rep coded

"i leap from the gallows and i levitate down your street" GREAT LYRIC HILARIOUS VISUAL ITS LIKE THAT HALLWAY MEME BUT WITH TAYLOR. hold on

okay

WHOS AFRAID OF LITTLE OLD ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! you should be <- ME TO MY MOM

production goes off cunty as fuck

"the scandal was contained" OMGG TELL ME TELL ME

you dont get to tell me you feel bad variant

BRIDGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i think this is my favorite track i love it

"the circus life made me mean" ooooh very very interesting. i will analyze this song more fully later but not on this post

"tell me everything is not about me, what if it is?" OKAYYYYY

the way she sings "you should be" reminds of something on folklore/evermore but i cant think of what

shes very cool on this song. the emotion actually comes through.

"you wouldnt last an hour in the asylum where they raised me." oh okay! so like. have we considered not saying that.

i think that line turned me off the whole song KJSDCIUERFHIUEFH LIKE???? HELLO???????

i just. hm. very disappointed. you have one billion dollars. your parents put down the deposit for your career. ok.

the way she sings "wretched" and "narcotics" is what i wanted for more of the album. ykwim.

i will admit her screaming the title is veeeery very nice

"i am what i am cause you trained me" okkkk. im sorry taylor my bad!

idk how i feel about this song anymore. should i just ignore the lyrics and listen lmaoo

i can fix him (no i really i can)

okay i was waiting on this song but with the context of the rest of the album. idk. we'll see

okay IMMEDIATE ick.......... "the smoke cloud billows out his mouth like a freight train through a small town" okay taylor i guess rhymezone was in for her. idkkkkk

okay next line came in actually i spoke too soon it serves !!

this is very cowboy like me inverse

ughhh title drop already. see i wanted it cunty!!! why title it that when its so nothing. this is SO NOTHING

is this about matty healy. girl hes a neonazi you cant fix him

BRIDGE?????? i love when she shows off her kinks

okay. yeah this song was very nothing.

loml

the piano is very gentle on this and muted. i like it

is this aaron dessner? hold on lemme check

yes it is!!!

"never before and never since" looooove <3 <3 <3

"still alive, killing time at the cemetery, never quite buried in your suit and tie" LOOOOOOVE <3 <3 <3

this is very her relationship with religion methinks....

"about a million times" ala illicit affairs "a million little times"

"when your impressionist paintings of heaven turned out to be fakes" i think this is my favorite lyricism out of the album, its very natural its very clear its very real. i really really like it

A CONMAN SELLS A FOOL A GET LOVE QUICK SCHEME. GAGGED

some of it is very grieving that she didnt last with her first love, that she still has to work for it. but its also still feeling like a metaphor for religious beliefs and god, that she cant fully believe and she wishes she had unwavering faith

MR STEAL YO GIRL????????????

"talking rings and talking cradles"

i wish i could unrecall how we almost had it all

"SOMETHING COUNTERFEIT'S DEAD" GLITCH I ALWAYS BELIEVED IN YOU (lie)

"ill never leave. never mind"

the way this extends is very phoebe bridgers and the way she enunciates "loss of my life" is very her as well

okay donesies. i liked this one a lot.

i can do it with a broken heart

i like the glimmery production

lyrics again are flopping a little :/

"im a real tough kid, i can handle my shit" 😸 okay

GOTTA FAKE IT TIL I MAKE IT TIL I DID !!!

the lyrics are so over and so back so much its killing me. i cringe so hard i cry and then i gag just as hard

lights camera bitch smile even when i wanna die......................

"ALL THE PIECES OF ME SHATTERED WHILE THE CROWD WAS SCREAMING MORE" im so. im sooo sos so so feeling aout this.

whos counting in the background idk how i feel about it

"im so depressed i act like its my birthday everyday" ughhhhh!!! cunty but she didnt sing it right yk. idk.

production slays

"im so obsessed with him but he avoids me like the plague" we're back again. i told yall its over and back and over and back SOOOOOO MUCH

okay i think i like it

I CRY A LOT BUT I AM SO PRODUCTIVE! SOOOOOOOOOOOO ME

i wanted the whole album to be like that verse

im a real tough kid again :/ shhhh

"in stilettos for miles" eras im so so sorry girl

IM SO DEPRESSED I ACT LIKE ITS MY BIRTHDAY EVERY DAY IM SO OBSESSED WITH HIM BUT HE AVOIDS ME LIKE THE PLAGUE I CRY A LOT BUT I AM SO PRODUCTIVE ITS AN ART YOU KNOW YOURE GOOD WHEN YOU CAN EVEN DO IT WITH A BROKEN HEART! ! !

when she does "you know youre good!" and the laughing and everything ohhhh my god. IM SO MISERABLE! AND NO ONE KNOWS! dont try and come for my job OKAYYYYYYY SHE SERVED ON THIS

okay i think i really like this song. i just need a couple days lol

the smallest man who ever lived

veryyyyy excited for this. i think. a little.

"who the fuck was that guy" OKAYY!!!!!!!!

theres no lyric i was to write here but its all very good btw

she sounds like my english teacher vocally and its killing me KSJDCIUERHFIUERH

"in public showed me off then sank in stoned oblivion"

i cant figure out what shes saying "once your queen had come, you treat her like an ulcer and"??? alseran?? i cant understand it skdjfhieurhiuerg

you didnt measure up in any measure of a man !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! taylor date girls <3

the production is building here i like it is she gonna belt/scream

YEAHHHH BELTING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"were you a sleeper cell spy in 50 years will all this be declassified and youll confess why you did it and ill say good riddance cause it wasnt sex [something something] and it wasnt forbidden" I REAAAAALLY LIKE THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i like when she makes up situations and puts herself in them

YOU CRASHED MY PARTY AND YOUR RENTAL CAR

you kicked out the stage lights but youre still performing.

"you are what you did" versus innocent's "who you are is not where you've been"

i like this track

the alchemy

I WAS SUPER EXCITED FOR THIS BUT NOW IDK HOW TO FEEL!!! idk im just jumping in

oh r&b production?? interesting....

ooh whats the rumbling thing i like that

shes returning to something but what...

TOUCHDOWN IS THIS KILLATRAV !!!!!!!!!!!!!! KILLATRAV KILLATRAV !!!!!!!!!!!

oh title drop but i wasnt listening KJSHCIUHEGFH

reference to maathp

is this returning to american boys KJIUFHEORUFHOERF???

oh this is sooooo referencing maathp

okay but it sounds like this person and her were already together and now theyre back "his heart....is still reserved for me" or maybe thats just trav holding on the friendship bracelet

i hate to say this but "wheres the trophy? he just comes running over to me" is very call it what you want + sweet nothing and another song i cant remember right now but yall know...... im sorry

im stupid as hell i cant hear what the line is where she says the alchemy

"he jokes that its heroine but this time with an e" THIS TIME??????

very much like this song. def not what i was expecting and im disappointed in that regard but its still a fun song

clara bow

nervous for this song. i like when she references people and places but theres a way to do it so i get scared every time

oooh ear ringing noise is very fun. i hope its not the whole time though

immediate title drop

oh so its not her? shes talking to someone else i think

oh this is in her past i think

lyrics are flopping.

"breath of fresh air through the smoke rings" like i can fix him (no really i can"

ohhh tambourine WAS stevie nicks reference

SORRY i dont like how she says eclipse lmaoo

i kind of dont vibe with all the small town references its as if she needs to remind us where she came from to be considered good like look how much i did when i came from nothing (even though she didnt)

YOU LOOK LIKE TAYLOR SWIFT IN THIS LIGHT !!!!

youve got edge, she never did girlllllllllll

so does she consider herself the "replacement" for clara bow?

song is okay i think it might grow on me. i think the biggest disappointment on this album is how predictable it all feels sonically.

the black dog

bonus track!! this is the only one i have so i might add the others later but tbh i might wait bc i dont know how much i. care.

muted pianooooo i love muted piano<333

YOU SHARED YOUR LOCATION AND FORGOT TO TURN IT OFF

oh the black dog is a bar. im kind of. okay. okay

"shes too young to know this song" is a nice line but its clunky how its sung

old habits die screaming!

girl your longing does NAWT stay unspoken

folklore when she used "big" words it felt natural (for the most part). here it feels performative? like it doesnt FIT naturally

"was it hazing for a cruel fraternity i pledged" idk how to feel about this!

lots and lots of smoke references!

"six weeks of breathing clean air" -> CLEAN!!!!!!!!!!

two times she says she wants to burn her clothes on this album

i like the production im literally kind of ignoring the lyrics

omg never mind "tail between your legs youre leaving"

personal ick but i hate when songs cut off in a word. she goes "old habits die screeeeeam-" and nothing. JUST SAY THE -ING

okay cool. mid song but i hope the swifties who thought it was about depression and got the variant are feeling okay<33

overall: idk about this album. i went in really excited and so maybe thats why i feel so let down... but i feel so let down. this isnt what was marketed, this isnt anything even real for a lot of it. she's all over the place and i dont think its a tight and solid album -- although monetarily it will obviously look like one. there are moments where we get something very her and very real and i think those moments save the album. the production is also a little all over the place, and so very nothing. im not asking her to do anything fresh or new but why would you market it as if it was and not deliver?

i liked florida!!!, loml, and i can do it with a broken heart -- i think clara bow, the alchemy, and some others (you can tell with my notes LOL) will grow on me. and the tortured poets department and my boy only breaks his favorite toys were good songs, but i think i need a few days to actually acknowledge them as such.

also i think lyrically shes done a few very interesting things. it almost feels like debut with how specific it is and the name dropping and everything -- however it is new/rusty for her so that also kind of hurts her overall. i think maybe this is like good practice for a more evolved narrative lyricism in the future, bc her past mo of hazy visuals and thinly connected moments to string into a narrative just doesnt work anymore.

i will say. she did make me experience all 5 stages of grief plus some fun extras. maybe not in the way she wanted, but i did anyway ! its a fun album and i def think ill like it more as time goes on, but this is my opinion without outside influence and within the first day of listening -- i want to see how that changes! im also holding off on album rankings until a week or two passes

#ALRIGHT WHO WANT ME !#a lot of times my initial reaction to a song is very different from how i feel about it as i keep listening so trust NOTHING i say kdsjfhie #(regarding rankings and favorites not the notes)#and with taylor you have to let the songs grow on you #taylor swift #the tortured poets department #ttpd #the tree speaks

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epicocat · 5 months

Note

If you were a pilot of any gundam, which one would you choose/which one do you think you would be assigned?

So this question has 3 answers

1: which *gundam* I’d like to pilot? Gundam Flauros (Ryusei-Go) from Iron Blooded Orphans

It can turn into a crab!!!

2: which mobile suit? The zogok, my personal favorite of the abandoned California Base suits

3: which suit would I be assigned?

The short answer? I can’t know for sure

The long answer… mwahaha

So the answer can broken into 3 main components

1: what universe Im supposedly a pilot in (and when)

2: who i side with

3: how good of a pilot am I

I’ll answer 3 off the bat and answer everything else accordingly. I am a decent pilot at best. Not *the* best, but not terrible. I’d at least qualify as an Ace Pilot (5 kills)

So 1 is a fun one because gundam has… a lot of different universes

This is currently the most accurate chart, just imagine the Witch from Mercury in the corner by the PD timeline

So let’s go down the line

Earth Federation

So starting in the OYW (One Year War), the Federation got mobile suits much later than Zeon did, so my options are severely limited, especially considering I’m not part of the White Base. I have 2 options

The GM and the Ball.

I pray to god I get the GM.

There’s also the Guncannon and Guntank Massed Production Types I could pilot if I’m lucky

However after the OYW, the feddies created the Titans, and went through an experimental phase, creating suit after suit like the Hazel and Wondwart

The Titans would also make suits like the Hizack, Asshimar, and Gaplant, all of which are good contenders for being piloted.

Then the Titans got cut out and their MS stopped being produced and were all sent to storage or scrapyards. However the Feds were far from finished. They took the GM and make countless upgrades, making the GM II and III, the Jegan, and the Jesta

Now this is about where my knowledge of the EFF ends so I’ll move on

The Republic of Zeon

Now Zeon has a much more varied history, and I will be including Neo Zeon suits when it applies

So to start, Zeon had the humble Zaku, which then became the Zaku II. Later the suit was upgrades into the Gouf prototypes. Those are likely the suits I’d get if I joined in the early OYW

Now mid OYW is a fun one because Zeon did a LOT with aquatic suits. If I’m lucky I could land a Gogg, Zock, Z’gok, Acguy, or even a Hy-Gogg, though probably not the Experimental Z’gok seen in 0080 War in the Pocket

Towards the end of the war, Zeon introduced the Gelgoog and Rick Doms, which became their new mass produced MS

Although after that, Zeon dissolved thanks to all of their leaders fucking dying (The Duke was killed by his son, who was killed by his sister, who was killed by Char Aznable. Dozle died gloriously in combat)

However, thanks to Haman, Zeon rose again as Neo Zeon, and their army of transformable Gazas. I’d rather pilot a Ball than a Gaza, so I think that demonstrates how bad the Gazas are.

But that’s not all Neo Zeon did, as they also produced several other suits for their regular MS corps. Suits like the Zssa (pronounced z-sah, all one syllable), which I would gladly pilot. Look at her, who wouldn’t?

And Neo Zeons most infamous mass production suit, the Döven Wolf. The half pint Psycho Gundam covered end to end in beam cannons, with detachable arms that can grab into enemy suits, or swing beam sabers. Oh also, it has a psycommu system, which meant Neo Zeon had some damn FAITH that all their soldiers are innate newtypes

They also had the Zaku III, but that was kinda Generals only

Anti Earth Union Group

Rick Dias, it’s kinda their only mass production suit

I've reached my photo limit, so I'll just start directing to the Gundam wiki

And that’s all my UC knowledge

G Gundam

I’ve still gotta finish this one, I’ll get back to you on this

Wing

SEED

AGE

These are series I have yet to actually watch, so I’ll get back to you here too

Iron-Blooded Orphans

Gjallerhorn

Gjallerhorn isn’t very creative with its soldier suits, so I’d be stuck with a Graze, either the space or land variant

Tekkadan

Despite being a bunch of kids, Tekkadan has a surprising variety in their suits. I obviously wouldn’t be getting any of their Gundam frames, but I’d likely end up running a Landman Rodi, or a Shiden

Shidens are technically Teiwaz suits but Tekkadan uses the a lot

Turbines

They have Hyakurens. That’s it. Naze seems like a nice guy tho

Witch From Mercury

So this just depends on 1.5 things, whether I'm a student at the academy and which company I'm repping.

If I rep Jertuk Heavy Machinery, I'll be using a Dilanza

Peil Technologies would give me a Zowort

and lastly Grassley Defense Systems would give me a Heindree or Beguir-Pente

If im out of the school however, that would be a Dilanza Sol from JHM, a Zowort Heavy from Peil, or a Heindree Sturm from GDS. Im not providing the links, they're just variants of the aforementioned suits.

And finally, the Desultor (thanks JHM) if I side with the Earthian terrorist organization/freedom fighters: The Dawn of Fold.

If anyone knows more than me in anything I *have* talked about, feel free to correct or add anything!

I will be adding addendums once I've finally watched or read that particular piece of gundam media

Hope this answered your question! :3

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knife-moth-mc · 6 months

Text

Welcome To Haven

(a post-mortem of my Arc 1 poem)

One for the lost Two for the seeker Down in the void Where minds grow yet bleaker Trust for a monster Doubt for a curse A weapon or answer For wanting or worse Fear for a secret Friendship for guilt And for those who try To ease the world's tilt A hope for the future A cry for the past A play for the present Roles still being cast No respite for any With something to ask No choice without harm done For this thankless task No truth and no progress No blessing but doubt No hand to hold onto The hand reaching out This debris gathers No matter the cost Where none are forsaken Nor truly are lost

I told Gawain I would write this something like a year and a half ago now. I'd apologize that it took me so long but honestly I'm just glad it's done at this point.

@gawaininred enjoy!

So, first things first. This poem is clumsy. I don’t think it’s bad, by any means—I’m incredibly proud of what I did here. But this was a new thing for me, so I tried to make it easier by loosening rhythm and syllable constraints, and having relatively short lines. I think in the end this hurt me more than it helped me, which is why the arc 2 poem is so much stricter and more complicated.

One for the lost Two for the seeker Down in the void Where minds grow yet bleaker

I wasn’t at all sure where I was going with my plot at first—it wasn’t until the second stanza that I started to pull the bones of it together—so I gave myself an easy and ambiguous start. You can go pretty much anywhere from “one for the lost”! My original intention was simply to evoke the nursery rhyme that starts with “one for sorrow” (there are multiple versions with different second lines). I realized almost immediately that the poem was going to be a bit long to stick with that faithfully all the way through, but it’s still at the heart of the poem all the way through. Interestingly, I remembered later that I had started another poem with “one for the lost” a few years back. The full first line of that one is “One for the lost who no longer miss home”. Make of that what you will.

The “two” in “two for the seeker” refers to the two surviving cats, Dove and Moira. I knew right away that I was going to work them into lore, but I didn’t know exactly how until much later on. The seeking, of course, refers to the more general search for answers, as well. This is the stream in which everyone immediately goes to the place they were told to avoid, just in case there’s something interesting there, after all. Ending the line with a trochee was intended mainly as a challenge to myself, because I knew I was locking myself into a very limited pool of words to end the final stanza with.

“Down in the void” is ironically a pretty light-hearted stream given the gravity with which the void has come to be treated on Haven. At the time, though, I didn’t put that much thought into it.

The stanza ends with an unnecessarily long line—“where minds grow bleaker” would have worked just as well. But it felt very important to me to stress that the bleakness was not a new state, simply a worsening one. Would I change it now? Maybe. The difference in meaning feels less notable to me now than it did then. But I think it adds a little something—at the very least, the implications that c!Moth’s state of mind is already in some way unstable by this point.

Trust for a monster Doubt for a curse A weapon or answer For wanting or worse

The monster is Moth, obviously, but it’s also c!Sleep. I like to play with ambiguity in my titles, something I’ve leaned harder into during my second arc. Moth and c!Oz trust each other, to some extent. Meanwhile, Moth and Sleep trust each other immediately (Moth more so than Sleep). It’s not a naive trust, though; Moth is well aware that Sleep is a monster. It knew right away that Sleep was like it. It trusts him more freely and deeply because of that, which is a dubious choice, but Moth is at this point so terrified of someone learning its secret that having someone who knows but doesn’t care comes as an incredible relief.

This early in Haven, Moth’s secret hasn’t been explicitly stated on screen. The title referring to it as a curse is a nod toward how it sees itself. As for the doubt… this is when Moth’s spiral starts, I think. C!Gawain has such a strong theme of right vs wrong that Moth, in its aspect as someone desperate for approval, latches onto that simplistic worldview and doesn’t let go.

Both the weapon and the answer refer to Bird. They’re a mercenary, and Beanie has been doing a fantastic job of playing the nuances of that as an identity—how it shapes you, how you grow into it. As far as the answer goes, this is the stream in which c!Moth puts out a hit on its on-and-off tormentor, K. This doesn’t end up being a very good answer to its problems, but it’s very solidly an answer that ends up driving the conflict moving forward.

“For wanting or worse” is the title I’m proudest of as a title. It frames the act of wanting as something negative, and that’s a major theme to this arc. C!Moth has a tendency to put itself to the side, to prioritize the people around it over itself. It knows what it wants, deep down inside, but the struggle to admit that takes… honestly, until arc 2. There’s a specific moment in arc 2 where it finally plainly says what it wants. Until then, desire is something that it can only be scared and ashamed of.

Part of the tragedy of this arc is that as Moth comes to terms with what it wants, and starts trying to set boundaries about that, the people around it read its behavior as another example of it putting others before itself.

Fear for a secret Friendship for guilt And for those who try To ease the world’s tilt

“Fear for a secret” is pretty straightforward. Someone knows its secret, and it’s scared—at this point in the story, it’s pretty sure that Gawain is the only person who can meaningfully kill it. But I’m glad that this line goes to this stream; if fear and secrets are to be associated with any part of this arc, it should be the part full of sick desperation and attempts to curtail the spread of a painful truth.

The next line doesn’t have much thought behind it if I’m being honest. Moth feels guilty. Sleep is its friend. This is followed by “and for those who try,” which I am much more satisfied with. It’s not a plot-heavy stream, but it is full of people trying to be good to each other. What is that worth? Well, things could have gone any way at this point. I just wanted to highlight that the love was there. The final line of this stanza completes the thought with the idea of trying to make things better, make things right.

A hope for the future A cry for the past A play for the present Roles still being cast

Moth meets c!Angel and they hit it off great, but Angel wants to leave Haven and assumes everyone agrees with her. Moth doesn’t. The hope for the future is yet another thing to be afraid of. Conversely, it indulges in its fear of the past, allowing August to convince it to jump into the void where it experiences a memory of the person it’s hurt most. The title is also a bit of a joke, due to the fact that I did cry during this stream.

With future and past explicitly mentioned, I knew I had to do a line about the present, and I chose “play” as a word here because it evokes fun as well as struggle. The fun aspect is important because this is the stream in which Moth meets c!Renn, the living doll; the struggle aspect is a nod to the many Havenites making plays for control around this time if not on this stream.

The meat of “roles still being cast” is Moth confidently telling c!Jackdaw that it’s possible to choose to be a good person, something that it’s still trying to convince itself of. I think that this is the title that most speaks for itself in the context of its stream.

No respite for any With something to ask No choice without harm done For this thankless task

This is the stream in which it’s revealed that Anathema, the person whose body Moth is living inside, is still alive, ever present and aware. There’s no respite for him, and no respite for Moth, who now feels even more pressure to do right by Anathema but still lacks a way forward.

It asks its friends for understanding and support, and is denied. They see it as being self-sacrificing. Absolutely not! Doesn’t it know it’s valued? Doesn’t it know it’s loved? They rush to reaffirm it, and alienate it in the process.

Miserable and alone, it meets Sylph, who tells it that the iron golem walled up in the villager trading hall is hurt by being trapped. Moth, who is deeply uncomfortable with iron, tells Sylph to free the golem, effectively preventing itself from entering the hall itself. If harm has to be done, then Moth will take on that harm itself. Denied a chance to pursue its desires, it hurts itself in a mockery of what it wants.

The thankless task is, honestly, existing. Moth feels more helpless than ever. It doesn’t want to die, but it doesn’t want to keep the status quo, either. It’s treading water. It’s putting unsustainable effort into what others take for granted. The only person to meaningfully reach out to it is August, who gives it hope in the form of a possible timeshare of the body, but in a way that’s a thankless task as well—it knows Anathema won’t want to agree to the timeshare, and it considers him justified in his objections.

No truth and no progress No blessing but doubt No hand to hold onto The hand reaching out

Moth lies to Aster about whether it has potions, a moment that stuck out to me so much I named the stream after it. In the next stream, it meets Lux, the wannabe king of Haven. Moth is disappointed in Lux’s, well, everything, and decides it does not support him in this whatsoever.

The latter half of this stanza involves Moth reaching out for meaningful connection. It… kind of finds that, but not to the degree it really needs.

This debris gathers No matter the cost Where none are forsaken Nor truly are lost

I originally wrote this line as “this detritus gathers” and was promptly informed that I was pronouncing detritus wrong. I’m still upset about this. But debris serves the same purpose, namely labeling the stream in which Moth acquires TNT by participating in blowing up a(n admittedly abandoned) village.

On the other hand, I wrote the rest of this stanza before the streams in question, since we had already pretty tightly plotted what was going to happen, and I couldn’t be more pleased with how well it all fits. “No matter the cost” is the title of a stream in which someone declares that they’re unilaterally instating their vision of society above any objections, for one. I knew that Moth and Sleep were going to argue about their philosophies, but not to that degree!

This is followed by the bitter, ironic “where none are forsaken,” in which both Moth and Anathema are in fact forsaken. Moth begs for help in this stream, to the point of tears, and is only rebuffed. This refusal is completely unrelated to it—Gawain had recently run into problems of their own—but it doesn’t know that. All it knows is that one more person is trying to control what options it has. One more person is deciding against its will to enforce what they think is best for it.

And we come full circle, ending the poem with the same word that helped open it: lost. No one in this stream is truly lost, as the title says. Anathema, who doesn’t even know how long he’s been trapped in this hell, is set loose upon Haven; Moth is forced out of the light in his stead, but that can’t last forever, can it?

#haven smp #contains major spoilers for my first Haven SMP arc!#i'm still really proud of myself for writing this all approximately in real-time as the arc progressed #astoundingly coherent given that I didn't know how it would end until months after I started it

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bieups · 1 year

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Langblr Reactivation Challenge: Week 2 Day 6 - Study Tips

This is such a great prompt because the langblr community is full of vocab. lists and motivational “keep studying” posts, but we don’t always explain how to study.

So here are some ways to practice each of the four skills: reading, writing, listening, speaking. These exercises aren’t exclusive to studying Korean and I tried to give methods that can work for beginners & beyond~ [Warning: this post is very long]

:readmore:

Reading

Step 1: Get comfortable reading Hangul

A really common way to increase your Hangul reading speed is to do karaoke aka sing along with song lyrics. This helps because you’re forced to keep up with the speed of the song, which pushes you to read a little faster than you would by yourself. Start with something slow and clear! Note that this isn’t about understanding the lyrics, you’re just practicing sounding out Hangul. This youtube channel puts the lyrics on screen and has a lot of slower songs that are perfect for reading practice :)

Next Step: Reading for Comprehension

Now let’s talk about reading with the goal of understanding. First, find something to read. Ideally, you want a text that has some unknown words/grammar, but not something that’s so difficult you’re having to look up other every word. (This is Krashen’s input hypothesis theory, if you want to get nerdy about it)

Once you’re reading, don’t stop and immediately look up every single unknown word. Try to use context clues to guess what the word might mean. What part of speech is it? Does it appear again on the page? Does it seem similar to a word that you do know (like maybe it has the same prefix or syllable or something like that). How much of the rest of the sentence/context can you figure out without knowing that word?

Then go look up the unknown word(s) and see how they fit into the sentence(s). Compare your initial guesses to the actual meanings.

Another great resource for reading comprehension (that I think is often overlooked) is the TOPIK. There are so many free practice tests online/in apps, and being able to check your understanding by answering the questions is super helpful. I definitely recommend adding some TOPIK questions to your study routine, if you haven’t already~

Writing

Step 1: Handwriting

I’m assuming you take notes while studying new grammar patterns or vocabulary, so I want to recommend handwriting those notes! The act of writing new words helps your brain to remember them. For Hangul, make sure to learn the proper stroke order and keep your handwriting more legible by centering the syllables in between the lines on the page (don’t sit them on top of the lines like we do in English).

Next Step: Putting Your Thoughts Into Writing

A common tip for writing is to keep a diary, and this is a great way to practice & improve! My two tips for this are: 1. you need someone to, at least occasionally, check your writing for errors and 2. don’t write in your native language and then translate, try to use your target language from the beginning.

If you never check your writing for errors, you might end up using a grammar pattern or word incorrectly simply because you misunderstood it. If you don’t have a tutor/teacher, there are places online you can post your writing and ask others to check it.

Writing in your target language can be frustrating when your skills are so basic compared to your native language, where you sound smart and natural. But if you want to get comfortable writing (& speaking!) in your target language, you need to get your brain comfortable with making sentences in your target language. So start with what you know! What can you write with the language you already have? Treat this writing exercise as a time to practice using the language you’ve already studied, not as a time to learn a bunch of new words & grammar.

Once you’ve got some sentence building skills, writing can help show you what you’re lacking. When you encounter something you want to write about but can’t think of a way to do it with the language you have, figure out the missing piece. Do you need the word for something or more grammar? Find out how to express what you’re thinking! When you find the word/grammar you need, make sure you check the definition (not just the translation) and example sentences to make sure it’s really the language you need. Then practice using it in your diary!

Listening

Step 1: Hearing the Words/Sounds

This exercise is called diction and I haaaated doing it in language school but it is super effective for practicing listening, spelling, and improving your short term memory…all important things for language learners.

Get an audio clip, preferably something that has a transcript or subtitles you can check later, and then listen to it while writing down exactly what the speaker says. Start with a single sentence and repeat it as many times as you need. If you don’t recognize a word, that’s okay! Just try to write down what you hear as best you can. Then check what you wrote against the transcript and notice any mistakes you made. Keep in mind that there are words that sound the same but have different spellings, and words where the spelling doesn’t match the sound (although Korean is usually easier than other languages when it comes to spelling).

Next Step: Listening for Comprehension

Not to repeat myself, but the TOPIK has a listening section and the audio clips are pretty short while still covering a wide range of skill levels. So using TOPIK practices questions can be a simple way to practice listening comprehension!

And, just like with reading, you can also listen to a video/audio clip and then think about what any unknown words/phrases might mean before looking them up in a dictionary. Try to listen first without subtitles, since looking at the words can cause your brain to turn it into a reading exercise instead of focusing on the listening. Also, I recommend choosing something conversational (vlogs, reality shows, scripted tv shows) or something formal like a news report, not song lyrics. The goal is to practice understanding natural spoken language, which song lyrics often are not…

Remember, this is active studying, not just zoning out to entertainment! Spend the extra time rewinding and listening again to parts you didn’t understand, looking up & taking notes on new words, and doing dictation exercises.

Speaking

Speaking can be the hardest skill to practice because you need a listener in order to get the full experience. So I highly recommend joining a class or getting a tutor or finding someone (even another learner!) to practice speaking with. I know a lot of people want to wait till they’re “better” at the language, but if you wait until you’re good at speaking, you’re just going to be silently waiting forever~ Start speaking from day 1 and you’ll be able to improve all your skills together!

Anyway… What are some ways to practice speaking when you aren’t meeting with your speaking practice partner(s)?

Step 1: Pronunciation & Intonation

Find a video/audio clip (combine this with your listening practice!) and repeat after the speaker. Try to copy their pronunciation and intonation, i.e. how they say the sentence. This is called “shadowing.” Korean has some sounds that are super different from English, so you need to get your mouth & tongue & throat comfortable with making those new sounds. The way people actually speak can be different from the “proper” way learning materials teach you, like how people often The only thing to be careful about with shadowing is you need to be aware of how the speaker is speaking. Like if they have an uncommon accent or are using a threatening tone or being overly cute, you wouldn’t want to unintentionally repeat that style of speaking. TV shows are easy to shadow, but keep in mind those are actors delivering lines and they might not always sound the most natural.

Next Step: Putting Your Thoughts Into Words

Basically, write your diary out loud instead of on paper. Pretend you are telling a friend about your day or whatever and try to only use your target language. The goal is to be able to speak in complete sentences that flow smoothly. Using natural filler words (like uhh, you know, etc. in English) is good, but try not to trail off without finishing your thought or take long awkward pauses. There’s no one around to judge you, so you can repeat yourself and switch up your word choice 100 times if you want! Also try to incorporate new grammar and phrases you’ve learned recently so you can get comfortable saying them.

You can push yourself by doing little challenges like talking for a full 1 minute (about anything), talking for 1 minute about a specific topic, using 3 different grammar patterns to introduce yourself, giving an elevator speech (i.e. very short) about yourself or your job or your favorite movie, etc.

#langblr #studyblr #language learning #korean #한국어 #langblr reactivation challenge #study tips #한국어 공부 #foreign language #learning korean

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halliescomut · 2 years

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I have a question for Jeff Satur

I'm gonna give some background, because I think the background is kind of funny. So, I had not heard of Jeff before watching KinnPorsche, but I started listening to his music, and he's wonderful and incredibly talented. So I've been listening to his various songs and covers for about 7 months now. I have pretty varied musical taste, but in the car I do tend to lean towards, rock/metal. I also take my nephew (who's 4) to preschool every day and I don't want him to get too hyped up, you know? So I started just playing Jeff on shuffle, because he doesn't care that it's not always English, and for me it's more about the vibe. But, because I've been listening to his music for at least 30 minutes everyday, I will hear both the English and Thai versions of the songs, some of which are ones that Jeff composed and wrote...and I have a question. What is the process for writing a song that will be sung in both Thai and English?

I am making some assumptions. I'm not a songwriter, but I would imagine that the process to writing a song goes only a couple of ways. 1) You write the lyrics first, create the flow of the song with the verses and chorus, and then you compose the melody around that, enhancing the words with the music. 2) You write the melody first, maybe with a general idea of the theme/subject of the song, and you write lyrics to match the tempo/tone of the music. 3) You sort of write both the melody and lyrics at the same time, have bits of melody and lines and then start to kind of build the song like a little puzzle, then tweak it to be more cohesive. Any songwriters out there, I'd love your input on this.

But when you have to do this process with two pretty disparate languages...I wanna know how? Like, I can fairly easily understand how you would would do a translation to English from another romance language, like French, Italian, or Spanish, yes grammatically some things are different but there's enough similarity there. Also, music does give you some leeway to like add flourishes here or there to add syllables to help match the beat of a song. But Thai, and East Asian languages in general, from what I understand, are pretty allusionary, they're like a more flowery, poetic language versus English which is often straight to the point. So an expression in Thai would be six, seven, eight words to express what might be the equivalent of 3 words in English. So when writing lyrics, is Jeff writing them in Thai, then translating them to English? Is he considering both languages as he writes? I know more than likely he has both in mind to some extent if he's planning to release the song in both languages, but it might be more back of his mind or constant consideration? If he does write kind of wholly in one language and then translate, is he doing a kind of word for word translation with tweaks for grammar, is it more of a expressing a similar point/emotion regardless, is it a combination of the two?

I really want someone to ask him these questions. I'm so interested in what that process could be like. If you are a multi-lingual songwriter with experience in this specific thing, I'd also love to hear your thoughts.

#music translation #jeff satur #multi-lingual #multilingual #i have a question #songwriter question #multilingual songwriter #bilingual #bilingual songwriter

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orioo · 1 year

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Update: New Ideas and Changes to the Already Existing!

lots of time has passed since i updated this project - and to the ones that were let down by my negligence, i apologise. life happened.

but i’m back now! and, after reading a whole lot of books, i’m back with tons of new ideas that i wish to cover in this post. i will spare you the rest of my rants; let’s begin!

1. Name Changes

as scary as this may sound, it’s in fact true that i’ve been thinking of changes to the main6, especially to their individual characterization. i realized that i spent a lot of my creativity on their dynamics as a group and less on their idiosyncrasies, which isn’t right!

first of all, the names of the main cast seemed a bit uninspired to me, despite all the effort i put into finding fitting names for them. some of are an aquired taste - such as Milo and Piper. they can stay.

Shreya i think is the most fitting name i have for now. Phala as well, although if i suddenly get sick of it, i might rethink it a little. (in the midst of writing this, i got sick of it. read more to find out!)

Kaji seems uninspired. so does Filip. especially Filip.

let’s take the whole crew of characters we know so far and (/re)name them.

Filip will now be known as Ailmar

Filip is too boring a name for a prince, let’s be honest. in my humble view, Ailmar does way better justice to his actual strenght - both physical, as he’s not a lithe guy, and mental, with his seer capabilities and all that. he’s an avid reader and especially passioned by mythology and history - of course he’s smart as a result.

Kaji will now be known as Kavi

not as big of a change as the previous one, but one just as important (at least to me). Kaji felt fitting in a way, i guess. possibly the syllable Ka. fun little fact, which i will have tons of fun writing around when the time comes, his full name is Kavinder. this will absolutely become a subject of attempted teasing and good fun in the future.

(i know the syllables in Kavinder are Ka-vin-der, and his nickname should grammatically be Kavin, but it sounds way too much like Kevin, which in now way am i allowing to happen. sorry not sorry, he’s now to be known as Kavi alone.)

Shreya will continue to be known as Shreya

Milo will continue to be known as Milo

Piper will continue to be known as Piper

Phala will now be known as Ophelia

while i quite like the name Phala, i feel as if it is a bit lackluster. it feels too empty to be deserving of a goddess, thus it’s now to be known as Ophelia! the roots (ph and la) are still there, so hopefully so is the familiarity.

Unnamed older brother of Ailmar will now be known as Neldor

Neldor is the crown prince and several years older than Ailmar. i originally planned to have him named Julio or Julian... or something along this line. however, as with Filip, the name just felt too basic and real-world for me to use into a light fantasy story. more about him will be written about later - i thought plenty on his character!

Maple will continue to be known as Maple

Maple is Piper’s older sister. she is a witch and lives with a small group of witches hidden away from the eyes of the Kingdom. she will also become Shreya’s love interest later on. more on her to be written.

EM will now be known as Farkas

EM stands for Enemy Man and was the temporary way i chose to call one of the main “villains” of the main6. from now on though, his name is Farkas. more to be disclosed on him later.

EW will now be known as Lethene

EW stands for Enemy Woman and, just like EM, was her temporary given name. she is the other villain in this story, partner of Farkas. more about these two will be talked about later.

2. Character Improvements

as i already said, i got carried away at first by the influx of new ideas for a project that i neglected a very important aspect of any story - it’s characters and their individuality. while plot can be just as important, i personally place a lot of the enjoyment of reading a book on the characters and their development throughout their adventures. i like seeing what they are like from their debut and compare it to what they become in their last appearance. i like seeing how their views change - or don’t, and the reasonings for it. i like already established dynamics between charactes, but enjoy a whole lot more to see how they grow from there on, or how they start off vs. how they end up. i like seeing the journey of each character, both in terms of their personal development as well as their social growth.

all that said, the first obvious amendment to be done is to Ailmar.

as the 2nd royal child, he is treated with less strictness than Neldor. Neldor was brought up being constantly reminded that he is to inherit the throne and shoulder all the responsabilities that come with ruling a kingdom, thus he was pressured into learning the ways of ruling and fighting. as a result, the king and the queen paid more attention to Neldor’s upbringing.

Ailmar was affected by his parents’ neglicence of his childhood, and often withdrew from social and political gatherings (family dinners) to indulge in his passions instead - reading on the Kingdom’s history, myths, folktales and fairytales. he never strayed away from the taboo subject of magic, rather dwelled in the fantastical books and educated himself on it’s peculiarity.

While Neldor was brough up to become a ruler, Ailmer was brough up to become a loyal guardian - both of the palace and it’s king, and of his kingdom. his teacher’s persistence on learning him various ways to fight were fruitful at first - he was quite the expert in the art of the sword. however, as soon as he turned 18 years of age, his first vision manifested itself and the stir it caused had it repercussions: word spread in the castle that he was of magical blood and should be cast out of the kindgom, if not beheaded. his royal blood was his defence, and, by the king’s word, was spared from that fate. instead, he was to retire from his studies and training, as to not further enhance his abilities in case he strayed from the kingdom.

Ailmer grew faintly physically ill because of his visions, as well as the sudden marginalization he faced from his peers. due to his determination to prove himself unguilty of anything treachery -expect housing magic in his blood- he continued to train himself and expand his knowledge in all fields.

at 15 years of age was when Ailmar first met Kavi, the 10 year old.

Kavi had a rough upbringing - from the very beginning, all he could remember was his journey of being passed on from foster home to foster home, not one stay longer than 1 year at most. homelessness was not a strange notion to him.

all the families that had cared and loved him, then abandoned him without as much as a goodbye were the catalyst to his attachment issues. he varried between the two extemes - either loving too much and bearing the heartbreak that came with abandonment, or being too aloof and detached in order to save himself the inevitable heartache. one more often that the other was his indifference, which got him into multiple one sided arguements and even fights from attention-starved kids.

after one such fight, he had been injured more gravely than the usual scraps - a kid got his hands on a real blade and attempted to best him in front of his older peers, hoping to impress. as much as he forestalled an injury, it was imminent; thus the birth of his infamous cheek scar.

before it scarred, however, it bled. and it bled a lot. that was the moment fate introduced him to Prince Ailmar; although young Kavi didn’t know of him at that time. Ailmar was out in the city, under the guidance of one of his fighting teachers, hoping to find some refreshments to indulge in after a successful class. he did not expect in the slightest to stumble upon a gathering of citizens that were murmuring between themselves. upon further inspection, he found the subject of their attention - two young kids, one with a bloodied blade and another with a bloodied cheek.

adults had intervened between them and grabbed the assailant away from the victim, but none had the guts to help that poor, injured kid up. Ailmar did.

untrusting, Kavi only believed Ailmar helped him so he would be sung praises left and right for his bravery. after being illuminated to Ailmar’s identity as a Prince, his next though was that he did what he did to maintain his public stainless image.

only after Ailmar grew to learn of Kavi’s background did he suggest Kavi should come with him to the palace - to heal, nothing more. pity brough on Ailmar sudden affection for the kid, brotherly, as he so wished to get from Neldor. but Neldor was too busy to indulge in brother-to-brother bonding activities, so maybe Ailmar was meant to do it in his stead.

thus Kavi became the victim of Ailmar’s brotherly affection and guidance. not having much of a choice, as any other alternative either did not exist or was significantly worse, Kavi stayed with Ailmar at the palace. they trained together, they ate together, they played together. Kavi, once again subject of his attachment issues, fell victim to one of the extremes: he got himself immensely attached to Ailmar.

when Ailmar started experiencing visions, Kavi was his biggest support. after three whole years spent together (Ailmar now 18 and Kavi 13), Kavi familiarized himself with the notions Ailmar liked studying - such as magic, so he was no stranger to the actual aspects of magic, as well as the unexplainable fear people garnered for it.

people’s ideas about magic were born out fear of what they could not understand* after all, and they could not understand Ailmar’s ability.

* = “Ideas about magic were born of fear of what they could not understand.” - quote taken from ‘The Priory of the Orange Tree’, by Samantha Shannon.

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