Tumgik
#i just kinda stop caring about making more art if i don’t get any feedback
goldensunset · 2 years
Text
i envy the people who have no shame self-reblogging their own art dozens of times every now and then. for me it’s like ok i get three shots at this and if still nobody cares about it after that i’m just gonna give up and save myself any further embarrassment
2 notes · View notes
claracivry · 1 year
Note
how come u don’t write eddie whump anymore?
you were my go too eddie whump author :(
How come, anon says, how comeeee
Is this the universe allowing me to rant?? Because I want to rant. Read more for rant!
You see, anon, I am a needy and petty little bitch, and that's the main thing of it.
For other characters I sometimes just stop "feeling" them, but I still love Eddie very much and although new boys have happened, I would still happily write whump for him. But!
But.
I have a problem with that part of the fandom. (Did I tell you I am petty?) And that problem is Steddie. I try to get some Eddie is sick content and I get a million words about what a good boyfriend Steve is. I try to get Eddie and Wayne content and is all about what a great ally Wayne is when he finds out about the relationship. I want Eddie content and all I get is relationship content.
And look, I don't dislike Steve. You've read my shorts, he's there, part of the gang, a friend. But the bad thing about Steddie is just it bleeds into everything and all the art, all the headcanons, everything must include Steve and Eddie being boyfriends.
(this is not the first time it happens, either. in previous seasons, when I tried to find Jonathan whump, the most decent things were Jonathan/Nancy/Steve even though the guy has a very nice mom and brother that could offer some comfort after he's hurt)
And!! I don't mind Steve (usually) and I don't mind ships, either, not even in this fandom. Jargyle is cute as fuck. I really enjoyed writing Edancy. But Steddie is a different beast. The whole "if you don't ship them you're blind or homophobic" is really annoying, and I don't enjoy them, sorry.
This is also where me being a needy bitch comes into play. You out your whole writing pussy into something and you get 5 kudos, and someone writing something similar but making it Steddie gets 200 and 20 comments. It's frustrating. It makes me sad. And it's very likely that all those ship fics are better than my little whump and there's simply a larger audience, but idk.
When I stopped writing Eternals there were comments asking there was people wondering where I was, liking everything - since I stopped writing Eddie whump, like four months ago, there's been like five kudos and two anons. It feels like nobody cared that I stopped an almost 90k thing and it hurt my soul. I know you're not supposed to care about feedback, but when everyone else is getting kudos and comments in the hundreds and you get so little, it can be discouraging.
I love Eddie, but every time I want to enjoy some Eddie content there's a wall of Steddie, and that's just not what I want. I do have plans to write some more Eddie things (like a cute little thing where he goes to uni) and could be persuaded to write more whump for him, but I'll have to find my chill with the overwhelming Steddie-ness of the Eddie space.
tl;dr As a gen Eddie whump enjoyer, Steddie has kinda ruined the experience for me and that with the much smaller feedback than seemingly everyone around me made me stop enjoying putting out Eddie whump.
Glad you enjoyed what's out there, however! Knowing there's a few people that really liked those stories really means the world to me, there's some I really like and I'm proud of in there.
ps Sorry about the length of this
ps2 if you know any good non-Steve Jonathan whump, pls tell a girl
ps3 if you read this far, you have my respect and admiration 🫡
8 notes · View notes
mcmoth · 3 years
Text
Dream SMP fandom etiquette
So. This post is probably too little, too late, considering the fandom and the issues I'm about to talk about have existed for so long now, and a lot of the people who need to hear this probably aren't on tumblr anyways, but I just wanted to dedicate a quick post to talk about fandom etiquette. Mostly pertaining to discourse, and interactions with people outside of our circle. These are just going to be my own personal thoughts, of course, but I felt it could be good to bring some of this to attention. So without further introduction:
Where to (not) talk about discourse:
Don't go into other streamer's vods to only focus about a different character. If you want to analyse, for example, c!Techno, do it in Techno's stream. Don't go into unrelated streams, like Tommy's, Tubbo's etc. to do it, even if they were a part of the event in question. This is, of course, with the exception if the character in question didn't stream their own pov. But otherwise, stay in your own space. This is to prevent cluttering a streamer's comments about unrelated discussion. To give further example: Tubbo's vod comments should primarily focus on Tubbo's character. Not Tommy's, Ranboo's, Techno's or whoever else's.
Don't start discourse in the comments of animatics. Seriously, stop that. Animatics aren't discussion boards. The comments are there to analyse and appreciate the video presented, not argue. It's especially rude if you pick a small detail, that wasn't even the focus of the animatic, or even a completely unrelated issue to rant out your frustrations about. To give examples: starting disc discourse in an animatic of Tommy talking to Wilbur, or rambling about how tragic Techno's character is in an animatic focused on clingy duo, etc.
This applies to fan songs as well.
Video essays are the exception to these rules. I think it's safe to say they're the place to bring your hot takes, if you really feel so inclined to argue in youtube comment sections (Though I'd personally advise to still keep the topic relevant).
Keep negativity out of fanfic comments. This isn't nearly as big of an issue as the last points, but I've seen it happen a couple times, so I'm deciding to mention it. Fanfics are written for fun. Even if you disagree with the characterisation or something else, unless the author is clear in accepting critique, keep criticism to yourself. And definitely don't rant about how you dislike a character unrelated to the fanfic. Sharing your thoughts on the fanfic itself is of course fine and welcomed, but when it turns from discussing the author's story to talking about how you dislike a character in canon, that's when it crosses a line. Example: comment talking about what you don't like about c!Tommy on a Bench Trio fanfiction.
When commenting on art, keep the feedback positive. Even if you dislike any presented character, keep that to yourself. Example: Don't say things like "I hate x character, but this art is good". You might think the author would feel honoured, but it's actually just hurtful.
How to deal with discourse:
This is gonna be a shorter section, because I think we all chose to do it in different ways, and that's valid. Also, it's just that I, myself, am still learning how to do this well, but I thought it could be good to try to lay it out anyways.
Try to scroll past takes you disagree with instead of arguing if you don't think you'd be able to keep your cool. Noone likes a random person yelling at them through a screen, and if you rant, you'll get an equally frustrated reply back, and noone will be happy. Either explain your point in a calm manner, or scroll past/ unfollow/block.
On the keeping cool thing, remember to just step away. Take a deep breath and calm yourself down before proceeding. To minimize the frustration you feel on a daily basis, filter tags, block people, avoid videos and youtube comment sections that you know will upset you, and leave certain internet spaces if you find yourself unable to escape negativity even with all those steps. Remember: in the end, it's all a game played by friends, a story, and your enjoyment of it lies in what you take from it. Abandon what makes you unhappy. Marie Kondo your fandom experience.
Also, here's your reminder, to whom this is relevant, to take care of yourself. Hydrate, eat, sleep, clean up, get fresh air, remember the things outside of all this. There's plenty to do outside of this fandom, and what you can do here can wait. There is no pressure, or obligation. Not for the content you create, not for the discussions you bring, not for responding to discourse, not for anything. Fandom is meant purely for fun, so take care <3
Interacting with people outside of the fandom:
This is something that I've seen a bit of talk about, and I thought I'd drop in my own thoughts on this as well. No matter the differences, we're all just trying to vibe, and I think these are important things to keep in mind to leave both sides better off:
Don't interact with hate posts. Just don't. You don't want to see them, they don't want to see you. Even if your response is lighthearted, their animosity is not. They will feel frustrated regardless, and the grudge will only grow. And if they're being agressive, calm discussion most likely won't happen even if you're being polite. Just leave it, please.
Correct misinformation calmly. I completely get how it can be frustrating to see blatant lies and all, but with our reputation, people will not listen if you're being antagonistic. Provide sources, explain, and leave it at that.
Don't be hateful, send death threats, or assume privilege or whatever else. That's stepping into the same shoes of the people you hate. Misunderstandings go both ways, and the fact of the matter is, I think most people who dislike DSMP, even the ones who are agressive about it, don't have their stance rooted in maliciousness. To expand on why the situation became what it is today, taken from a discussion on discord:
I think it's just a combination of Dream growing so insanely quickly + how internet spaces have changed over the years. When ccs like jackstepticeye or pewdiepie etc. grew popular, activism wasn't as prevalent and held to such importance. Now it's thankfully more talked about, but that also leads to Dream being more scrutinized in comparision. Add twitter trends and the general prevalence of the fandom, and you've got everyone feeling tired and frustrated and paranoid. People also tend not to fact check stuff, especially when it comes to celebrities and stuff they're not really interested in, so rumors spread fast.
And actually, I think there's absolutely valid reasons to be made uncomfortable by Dream SMP, either in it's creators, content or fandom, and there is, of course, stuff to criticise in general. The problem is the hate and misinformation and overexposure, but we are not going to solve any of that by being aggressive in return.
(This is, by the way, not talking about more serious cases. Like doxxing, or leaving gore images in hashtags, or similar instances. That's a whole different complicated issue that I don't feel qualified to tackle.)
And finally, don't overwhelm outsiders who merely mention the Dream SMP. Don't send asks asking them to watch it, don't write paragraphs explaining the lore, don't confuse them with inside jokes, just... Don't jump on people like that. Unless they're explicitly clear in wanting interaction and getting into the fandom, that kind of thing will just drive them away. This is in no way exclusive to the Dream SMP fandom, pretty much every fandom has people enthiastic to have more people involved, but since there are so unbelievably many of us, it's especially easy to go overboard with this stuff. Just... be polite, and don't pressure anyone. Be nice, please.
So.... ya! This would be it for this one, I think. Sorry that it's kinda long, thank you if you read it at all. Hope y'all have pleasant days ^^
186 notes · View notes
sconnie-doesnt-know · 3 years
Text
So Wrong
Characters: Lee Bodecker, Reader, Jane Bodecker, assorted OCs, also gonna go ahead and say Lee is kinda soft/dark in this one
Word Count: 8000
Warnings: Infidelity, alcohol usage, smoking, somewhat dub-con sexual stuff, but not really
Summary: The Reader is a young single mother and widow new to the town of Meade. She gets drawn into a social circle that includes the Sheriff’s wife, while also being drawn to the Sheriff himself.
A/n: I truly don’t know where this came from or why I wrote it. I watched TDATT and suddenly this whole thing just popped into my head complete with a Patsy Cline soundtrack. There’s infidelity on Lee’s part, and his wife is terrible, and these are fictional characters so I am trying to not feel guilty for making that happen. 
There’s more to this story, probably extending into 1 or 2 more parts. I don’t know what to say for myself, I cannot pwp. Feedback and constructive criticism are welcome. Not beta-read, so please let me know if there’s an error. 
Hope you enjoy!
Tumblr media
Meade is as good a place as any to settle. Surrounded by wilderness and small towns, it’s quiet, far from anyplace and anyone you know. A welcome adventure and a place to dispose of your grief, finally - hopefully. 
You pull up on a quiet street and sit there just a moment to breathe, to look at the life you had that is settled in between the few boxes and suitcases of belongings, the folded up flag, and the little boy you buckled into the seat.
Through a tangled web of connections, you are able to rent a little upper duplex apartment from the widow in town. She claims she doesn’t mind a little noise as your son stomps up the stairs and gives you an open invitation to join her at church on Sundays.
It is six days into your new residence, the first Monday in town when the apparent welcoming committee shows up at your door. She wears a gentle smile on her face and presents you with a warm pie still wrapped in cloth.
“My name is Jane Bodecker, my husband’s the Sheriff. I wanted to introduce myself…”
You know the routine after moving around a few times already. You imagine the conspiring during the luncheon after church yesterday, the ladies munching on dry cookies and deciding who would be the first to talk to you.
You nod and smile, and accept the offering. 
“Some of us like to get together to play cards and socialize on Tuesdays, it would be nice to have you join us and let us get to know you.”
Of course she means that they are chomping at the bit to know why a single woman with no family ties has moved into town. You’re familiar with the ritual and know you need to go along if you want to make it work in this place.
You return her smile, “That would be so kind of you, as long as you don’t mind my son coming along.” You gesture to the little boy hiding in your skirts behind you.
“Of course he can. He can play with my boy, Robert. We will see you at two.” She leaves you with her address and directions over, telling you to look for the house with the red shutters.
Their house is in one of the newer, more developed parts, with some manufactured homes lining the street and looking boxy compared to the traditional farmhouses, but it's charming. The red shutters stand out, that’s for certain. It doesn’t take long to figure out that Jane is a proud host, head of the gossip chain, and is required to mention “My husband, the Sheriff” at least once per conversation.
You let the ladies ask their questions and nod politely as they give you the required chorus of condolences. You feel the shift when Jane steers the conversation to what they all want to know. “Now, I don’t mean to spread gossip, but some folks were wondering why you rented a place here instead of goin’ home to your family.”
Your shoulders stiffen, ‘so much for not putting me on the spot’ you think, but you still smile politely as you answer. “I have no other family. My daddy was gone when I was a girl and my momma dropped me off with an aunt and uncle when she was with husband number three and I don’t know where she is. They said it was the first thing she did that made a lick of sense,” you try to joke. “Well, they didn’t exactly approve of me and Jimmy, so when we married they told me not to go back.”
“And the boy’s other kin?”
“Ain’t no other kin. Jimmy’s family was small, they’re gone now.”
“Well, ain’t you a tragedy,” she says in a chirpy, high voice. 
Your face tightens and you stare at your lap, “We get by,” you weakly mutter. 
They all assure you that they have some nice gentlemen they can introduce to you, and go on about how fortunate you are they are pulling you into their group. You hear about faceless people and their minor transgressions, but get bored with it fairly quickly and use the time to look over the Bodecker home. It’s nice, a mixture of modest and a few state-of -the-art updates. There’s more dust than you expect, the sofa cushions look worn down, with only a few photos on display. The sheriff’s face shrouded in shadows in the one you can see, but you figure their son must take after him since he doesn’t have the pinched look his mother seems to naturally have.
You don’t even meet ‘her husband, the Sheriff’ until your third Tuesday afternoon of cards at their home. Jane herself is practically giving a campaign speech since the election so close. You never paid a lot of attention to local politics, and you try to give her your attention, but when she starts to ramble on it’s just too much. You happen to look to the side to avoid rolling your eyes and catch just when he strolls in, as if on cue with the uniform all perfectly in place. He scans the group of women until he stops on you, eyes lighting up with interest.
Your own breath catches in your throat at the sight of him as he removes his hat and looks you over.
“Well,” he drawls, “You must be the sweet new thing that’s got all the fellas in town rioting.”
You have to look down, lest the embarrassment make you combust.
“Now, Lee,” Jane scolds, “That’s no way to say hello. Come over here and introduce yourself properly.” She guides him over, and you almost say it with her when she recites, “This is my husband, the Sheriff.”
“Apologies, miss. I know you aren’t trying to get them all riled. Janey told me ‘bout your husband. War is Hell, shame to be losing boys like that.”
He holds his hand out to shake yours, his hold firm and warm and you are hesitant to let go.
“I appreciate that, thank you, Sheriff. Nice to meet you.”
“You too,” he nods, eyes flicking over you one more time. “What are your plans in this lovely town of ours?” 
“Oh. Well,” you freeze up for a moment, it’s the first time someone’s asked and you don’t have your answer prepared. “Well, I was thinking that I would get a job. We get by right now, but once my boy is in school, I would like something else to do.”
Jane jumps on your answer, “Let’s just see if we can’t find you a bachelor around here. Plenty of boys can use someone to take care of ‘em, but if you want a man who will be home on time, you stay away from any of the deputies. I can’t remember the last time Lee wasn’t busy with something or other from the county. I suppose that’s the life we’ve chosen though, isn’t it?”
Her voice sounds overly sweet, but you can sense the daggers in her words. It’s the way he reacts, shifting on his feet and rolling his jaw like he’s annoyed. Jane doesn’t even pay attention to anything but the cards in her hand. Some of the other ladies nod, but the sheriff just lowers his head before he pulls Jane to the side to talk to her quietly.
You track his movements, fascinated until you shake yourself out of it. It’s been years since you felt like that or even saw a man that caught your attention - not since Jimmy. It’s alarming, unnerving.
The wave of guilt that washes over you is more than you can handle. 
“Please excuse me, but we must be going.” You get up without waiting for any response and practically yank your son right out of the house as Jane calls after you that she will see you again soon.
You brush off the incident after having some time to think, convinced that it is just because you were caught off guard, and try to go on as normally as you can.
Your days end up filled with social calls, running errands or helping your landlady, and keeping your son busy. He asks to play with the Bodecker boy nearly every day, but you try your best to keep your distance when you can, especially when she starts trying to arrange dates for you even when you politely decline.
You look at the other ladies sometimes and wonder how many of them are just tolerating her the way you do. There’s just something grating about the way her voice goes especially nasally when she has something not-very-Christian to say, or the way she talks so openly and obscenely about the apparent whorehouse in town. She doesn’t even seem the least bit shameful when she begins to complain about her sister-in-law and the trouble she gets up to despite her brother being the sheriff.
Sheriff Bodecker, on the other hand, is a bit more friendly than you anticipated, expecting him to be cold or rude, but usually he’s the one pushing his wife to extend a coffee or supper invitation your way and making small talk when you are still around when he gets home from work or if he catches you around town. Your own mind suspects that it’s maybe just a sense of civic duty to know his neighbors, but it’s nice to have company nonetheless. 
Conversation with him comes easily. He talks with you about interesting news stories, about the boys, about some of the other towns, and even plans for the county. It’s interesting, not just debate on whether the new curtains chosen by someone or other are tacky. There are times you get lost talking with him and need to be corralled back in by Jane or Steven getting antsy.
The way he draws your eye is a mixture of curiosity and interest. It makes you notice when he’s driving the patrol car or when you see him around town. You catch how tired he seems at the end of the days, how he’s usually got a piece of candy to slip to kids when they come by and are brave enough to ask. You notice how he knows everyone in town and seems to have an eye on everything, checking in at the shops and breaking up the young men when they start to roughhouse.
In a place like this, Jane Bodecker is far from the only gossiper in town, so while she might not share much about herself or her husband, plenty of others do. Some of the things they say are just nitpicking and you try to drown it out. They’ve been decent to you since your arrival, but it’s hard to ignore the constant whispers of how power went right to their heads.
When the election is over and she gets the right to continue to say “My husband, the Sheriff” you start to really see what they say. She loses the facade of playing the good wife, but still hosts her weekly card meetings to keep up to date. Instead of just coffee and tea, she starts slipping sips of whiskey and gives her opinion a bit more freely than before, and often hurling insults anywhere they can land.
It’s painful to watch her put down everyone, but especially the sheriff when he gets in her way. When you catch him sending a frustrated look at her turned back or rolling his eyes at her complaints about the town and its people, you pretend not to notice and remember to keep a smile on. Her outbursts get more and more unhinged and brazen, and the defeat and exhaustion in his stance makes you ache. There’s a hurt you can’t vocalize without overstepping, but it eats at you, chips at your patience bit by bit.
When the sheriff pulls the cruiser over one day while you’re walking between stores to say hi and make some small talk, you’re pleased. He seems less worn down, it’s nice to see.
“Oh, Sheriff, you’ve got some good timing,” you reach into one of your shopping bags, pulling out a paper bag of hard candies you bought from the candy shop. “While doing the washing, I found a handful of wrappers. Turns out the boys were getting into your candy stash. Thought you might need a refill.”
You hand him the bag and the smile he gives you in return makes your chest tighten up and ache.
“Sweet things from a sweet thing, thank you darlin’.” 
You bit down on your lips, desperate to not react to his flirtatious words. “It’s nothin’, Sheriff.”
“Not to me.”
You start to sway from foot to foot, looking down at the sidewalk with a hum and trying to come up with something else to say. Silence hangs in the air for a moment before his radio crackles with a call from the station. You take the opportunity to make your exit.
“I’ll be seeing you, Sheriff.”
He shoots a glare at the radio, but looks back at you with what you could only describe as longing. “Sure will, Sweets.” Usually something like that would sound condescending, but from him it sounds endearing. He winks and pulls the car away, talking to the dispatcher while he drives.
‘Sweets...sweet thing...darlin’’ his voice repeats over and over in your head, fingers trembling and clumsy with the rush they give you and the way your heart races.
You get nearly sick when you recognize the feelings you’re having. It’s like it was when you were first with Jimmy. When you couldn’t even look him in the eyes because you felt too overwhelmed by your feelings for him. When you flushed and overheated when he got close and said pretty things. When you used to hold onto his hand and promise yourself that you would care for him every day and prove your love to him.
That’s when you realize you’re coveting another woman’s husband.
It’s Thursday, which means you need to head down to Main Street to visit the pharmacy for your landlady, Mrs. Martins, and gather some groceries for the week. You had made plans with Jane to let the boys play together while you took ran errands. You don’t have a good excuse to change the plan, but you can’t help but ask again, “You sure you don’t mind him being here?”
“Not at all,” she smiles, a bit wider and more manic than usual, “Now if that handsome Wilford boy happens to ask you for supper, don’t you worry about rushin’ back, ya hear?”
You laugh at her latest unsubtle attempt, “I will keep it in mind, thanks.” She and a few others had started to meddle, putting eligible bachelors in your path and setting up dates on your behalf. You do try. You talk to them, let them flirt, but none hold your interest. They’re boys - lanky and lean, still all reckless and rowdy. Not what you’re looking for, nothing like the solid, filled-out figure of a man, someone secure and stable and in a uniform. But that’s something to think about another day.
Wilford does indeed ask. 
You do not feel so inclined to take up the offer, especially when he pinches the round of your ass as he asks you to consider dessert before any supper. 
He has you pressed against the wall outside the hardware store, letting the sun blind you and bring tears to your eyes as the bricks snag the delicate threads of your dress.
He only backs away when a loud voice booms out, “There a problem here, son?”
He turns his head to find Lee pulled to the side of the road, window down and arm resting on the frame, his jaw clenched and eyes narrowed.
“No sir, Sheriff, just makin’ some supper plans, ain’t we?” Wilford looks back at you with a leer. Your hands press flat against the building and your knee twitches with the urge to jerk up and hurt him.
“I thought we were expecting you tonight, isn’t that right?” Lee asks you pointedly. 
Your attacker looks back at Lee, then to you, and you nod. Finally, you’re given some space. 
“I imagine you need to be moving along then?” Lee checks, waiting impatiently for Wilford to answer.
“Yessir.” He gives you a wicked grin and spins away to go back down the street. “Maybe another time when you’re free.”
You shake your head, eyes narrowed at his back as you glare.
Lee taps the side of the cruiser, “C’mere.”
You take a shaky breath and gather yourself with a nod before taking the few steps across the sidewalk. Leaning down you take a moment to look him over in his uniform, the badge gleaming in the sunshine and eyes clear blue as the sky.
“You alright, Sweets?” he asks, voice low and gentle. He’d taken to calling you that since the candy incident, always in that same tone - like it’s precious and important. The way it hits you right in the center of your chest hurts more than the physical damage done a moment ago. You know he isn’t asking if your heart is aching, or if you’re alright being lonely, or any of the ways you’re feeling it right now, but it strikes you in an unexpected way.
“I’m fine,” you smile tightly, “Thank you for checking.”
“These boys just don’t know how to handle themselves when they see a pretty lady.” Your cheeks ache as you try to keep from beaming at the off-hand comment. “Ya know, I’m getting ready to head on home, you need a ride that way? I’m guessing your boy is stirrin’ up some shit with mine?” He turns and scans the road and sidewalk around you, fidgeting a bit as he asks.
“I still have to make another stop and my car is at the end of the block, but thank you.” You stand up.
“Well, I mean it, you and Steven stay for supper tonight, I’ll square it with Jane.”
“You don’t hav’ta do that-”
“No worries, darlin’.” He winks, taps his fingers on the shell of the door by the painted logo and waits until you nod in agreement. “See you soon, then.” And with a nod he pulls off the curb.
You watch the cruiser drive away, then look up and down the street, but no one else is there. You finally manage to draw in a full breath, and rush to get to the cool air of the pharmacy to ease the flush burning you from the inside out.
You make it back to the Bodecker’s before the sheriff, glad to have a few moments to smooth things over with Jane since she clearly had not expected you to turn down the date she arranged for you.
“He wasn’t too much of a handful, was he? I told him before I left that he better mind you today.”
She waves you off, sitting back down at the table with her abandoned cigarette in the tray and a small glass of brown liquor.
“Well, the boys’ll sleep tonight, that’s for sure. They’ve been running circles round the whole damn house.” She ashes the cigarette before taking another puff and settling against the backrest of the chair.
You take a moment to look over the kitchen, a pot is just about to boil over so you make your way to it. “Can I help you out with anything? Give you a moment to freshen up ‘fore Lee gets home?” 
“I suppose that’s the least you can do.” Her cheeks draw in another puff and she hums, taking her glass with her as she goes to their bedroom.
The boys run inside, breathless and sweaty, both shouting while they tell you about a nest they found outside before you order them off to get washed up themselves. You look down the hall, waiting to see if Jane was on her way back or if she was expecting you to finish her cooking. Rather than let it burn, you do just that, taking care of the potatoes, adding a few seasonings as you go, and pulling out the meatloaf from the oven. 
The screen door squeaks and boots thud through the house when Lee enters and makes his way to the kitchen. You nervously look over your shoulder, catching him leaning against the door jamb, spinning his hat in his hand, a soft smile on his lips as he looks your way.
“This is a sight. If I didn’t know better I’d think I wandered into the wrong house.” 
You let out a bit of a nervous laugh, then look back down to the greens you were tending to, “I am so sorry, I kept your wife busy longer than I should’ve. She’ll be out in just a minute.” You go back to busying yourself with finishing up the meal.
“Not complainin’,” he mutters under his breath, but you still hear it and it makes your breath hitch. Jane could set you on edge with her snide remarks, so could Lee, but for completely different reasons - some that had been dormant for so long you didn’t know what to do. 
Just then Jane makes her grand reappearance, hair freshly combed and lips tinged with a touch of color; her cheeks look ruddy, but you can’t tell if it’s rouge or flush from the alcohol she’s been sipping.
“Don’t you go adding too much milk to my potatoes, nobody likes ‘em all runny. Here, let me,” she says and nudges you out of the way, “See you gotta mix in just a little bit right there.”
She overpours anyway, her hands moving unsteadily as she mashes the potatoes up, making them runny just like she warned you about. 
From behind you, you see Lee go to the table, picking up the liquor bottle and examining the contents, making marks with his fingers against the side of the bottle and shaking his head. He takes a swig himself and sets it back down.
He mumbles something about being sober, then walks down the hall to where Jane disappeared, stopping to say something to make the boys giggle on the way before they wrestle each other at the bathroom sink to wash up for supper. 
The meal starts off quiet, just the utensils scraping along the plates, but Jane being the gracious host, finally tries to perk it up with conversation.
“I know Wilford might be a little rough ‘round the edges for someone from a bigger town, but there are still several other young men I can introduce you to,” she offers, unprompted.
You choke a little before you recover and finish chewing your bite of food.
“You needn’t go through the trouble, Mrs. Bodecker. Really.” 
“It’s just, you’re so young to be widowed already and all alone. What kinda home will it be for the boy with no man around? And don’t you want more kids? I bet you just glow. Some of the ladies at my bible study wouldn’t mind setting you up.”
The idea makes you squirm. No, you aren’t dead inside, but there’s no way for you to get what - who you really want.
The sheriff speaks up then. “My old man took off on my ma, sister, and me. That’s just the way shit happens sometimes,” he says and you feel the dark cloud start to clear just a bit. You nod at him, acknowledging the little bit of affirmation.
“What was your husband like?” Jane presses, digging a little further into that painful wound. “Maybe that will help me out.”
Your Jimmy didn’t have much to give you, but he gave you all he could. He gave you the kind of love that made your cheeks hurt from smiling, and your stomach swoop with butterflies. Your eyes flick toward Lee and you think again about how alike they seem to you, handsome, intuitive, assertive, strong-willed. He catches your gaze and pauses his chewing for a brief second while he waits for your answer. 
“He was a good man, strong and fair. I’d like to think he and Mr. Bodecker would’ve gotten on quite well,” you finally say, smiling kindly at them both in turn.
Lee’s lips curl into a smile while he finishes chewing, then sits back with a stretch. “You’re makin’ me sound like an old man,” he whines, “Call me Lee when I’m not on duty.”
“Yes sir,” you automatically reply. “Lee.”
His smile grows. “Say, Janey? Why don’t you go get that jug of wine up for us?”
She nods and gets up.
“Wine?” you ask, surprised.
“It’s nothin’ special, someone up the road makes it. Tastes better than that church wine, but don’t burn like the shine some other folks are brewin’ up.”
Jane comes back with three glasses and pours generously for you all, her own motions increasingly sloppy from her afternoon drinking.
You sip at it, the taste a little tart, but not as acidic and thank them for their generosity.
“Jane, you do something different with the seasoning tonight?”
“No,” she answers, then goes right back to her chat with you, you think about speaking up, but she goes back to leading the conversation. “So, you still thinking about becoming a working gal?”
“Not right away, but yes.”
“Oh?” Lee asks, “Something at the diner? I think the grocery is hiring?”
“Nuh uh,” her voice takes on a nasty tone, “Nothing like that for her. She went to secretary school.” The lilt in her voice makes it clear that she doesn’t care for that little fact. “Can you believe that? School just to learn to file a paper or take a message.”
“There’s more to it than that,” you quietly defend.
“Jane, what the hell do you know? You haven’t worked a day in your life?” Lee asks.
Jane rolls her eyes, body slumping a bit in her chair. “Well, whatever you do, just make sure you don’t go working at the Tecumsah.” She snorts into her glass as she takes a sip. “That’s where Lee’s sister works. I told you ‘bout her before.” She gives you a look. “That place is a den of sin, if you know what I am gettin’ at.”
“You’re are gonna spoil my appetite talkin’ like that,” he says. He drops his fork and you startle, his glare at his wife making clear this is another sore subject. 
“Wouldn’t be the worst thing,” she mutters. “I’m gettin’ tired of mending the buttons on your clothes.”
Your jaw nearly drops. You wring your napkin on your lap and scramble for something to change the subject and break the tension, “Jane, there are such lovely flowers planted right by the library, is there a gardening club around here that you haven’t told me about?”
She’s bored by the topic, but it does enough to distract her and send her on a tangent. You nod and hum while you pick at your food. Occasionally you glance to Lee at the side and find him looking at you appreciatively.
You keep turning the conversation away from yourself, getting her to talk about anything you can as she keeps refilling and sipping down more of her wine. 
You use the next lull in conversation to make your exit.
“This has been lovely, and I am so thankful for everything today, but we really oughtta get back home. I need to make sure Mrs. Martins gets her items from the pharmacist and I need to try to fix the old projector she’s given me.”
“What’s wrong with it?” Lee asks, leaning forward.
“No idea,” you laugh. “I was hoping to puzzle it together.”
“I can take a look for you,” he offers.
“If you have a moment,” you turn to Jane, “And you don’t mind sparing him.”
She scoffs and waves her fingers, “Nah, take Robert with you.”
He grunts in response while the kids leap up, excited for more time together. You do what you can to clean up and ease the load for Jane, but she’s getting more irritable by the minute, so you shuffle to the door to leave.
You head to the driveway where your car’s parked, waiting for him outside while the boys chase each other around the cars. He steps out the door, swinging his key ring on his fingers, looking at ease without the uniform on, but still strutting with an air of authority. It makes your stomach swoop.
“The Martins place? What road is that on again?” he asks jarring you out of your staring.
“Just follow me, Sheriff. I mean - Lee,” You nod as you get into the driver’s seat, Steven climbing in on the other side.
“Don’t mind if I do.” He mutters it loud enough that you hear him. The tilted, teasing grin on his face as he climbs into his own car almost makes you certain it was his intention.
When you get out, there’s a lump in your throat and the air suddenly feels heavy. Thankfully, the short walk up your drive is quiet, the sheriff walking leisurely next to you and laughing at the boys as they race each other down the sidewalk. 
“I gotta go in the back way,” you swallow thickly as you tell him while you open up the gate, “There’s a private staircase for us there.”
He nods and follows. 
When you enter the small apartment, you’re grateful that you don’t have much to fuss over and that it is tidy by default.
“Why don’t you boys go play with the Lincoln Logs or race cars? Nothing too loud right now,” you suggest and push them off toward the small room Steven occupies. “I got the parts all together right here, but I think something is missing.” You point to the box with the projector parts and reels.
“No problem,” Lee’s voice is quiet in your small space. He takes out the parts and starts to fit things together, checking a few switches here and there after a couple of minutes before patting the top of it with a, “There you go.”
You smile widely, “That’s it? Really?”
“That’s it, Sweets,” he matches your smile.
You suddenly hate the idea of him leaving so quickly, so you look around for something else.
“Coffee?”
He nods. “It’s like you read my mind,” there’s a glint in his eye as he gives you a generous once-over.
You feel a flush and quickly turn away to the kitchen.
Your hands tremble as you fill the kettle with water and scoop grounds into the press.
The boys break into a fit of giggles and before you can call after them, you feel the warm presence of Lee shuffle up behind you. His boots scuff against the floor as he stops, then seconds later his arms cage you in from behind, his palms resting against the edge of the countertop.
His breaths are deep, his nose just tickling along the neckline of your dress and you feel your back stiffen at the rush.
“You’re so lovely Sweets,” he whispers.
Your breath shakes as you suck it in. “S-sheriff,” you swallow thickly, “Lee? What’re you doing?”
“You’re beautiful, y’know.”
You remain still, unable to whisper anything but his name again.
“I see the way you look at me,” he presses a kiss to your skin that’s so gentle and tender but nearly makes your knees buckle. “Like you want somethin’.”
“I’m not - I don’t know what you’re talking about,” you weakly deny.
One arm leaves the counter to wrap around your middle, pulling you even closer to him while he steps right up behind you, the whole front of him up against your back. The movement makes you gasp and arch just slightly. You’re unable to catch yourself from rolling your head back to lean against him fully and feeling him grunt.
“You don’t need to make any excuses. You want me, dontcha?” he talks with his lips pressed right against your neck, heavy breaths tickling at your hairline.
God, do you want him. The sudden feeling of a warm, masculine body against you is something you didn’t realize you missed so much. For years it’s just been you and your boy and focusing on the day to day, not thinking about the way a strong arm feels pulled around you with fingers just tickling at your sensitive skin - until suddenly that’s exactly what is happening. And how you’ve missed it, your muscles nearly seize up with tension as you try to fight how good it feels.
It’s like trying to drag yourself from a dream, slow and muted as you try to make sense of everything at once; a sharp clarity punches through hard and fast.
“Your wife,” you reach down to cover his hand with your own, ready to try to pry him off.
“That fucking pig? I don’t love her, I don’t want her. She don’t want me either.”
“Don’t say that. You can’t say that,” you tell him and start to pull away, squirming away but getting nowhere since he doesn’t budge an inch. He allows you to spin around between himself and the countertop. “Lee? What is this? What’re you doing?”
It’s a stupid question. You know what this is. You can remember moments like these with your late husband, but Lee is not your husband. You know his wife. You just spent the evening with her in their home.
He doesn’t answer. Instead his free hand starts to skim up along your side until his thumb catches at the curve at the bottom your breast, then slides up so that he can rub his thumb back and forth over your dress, teasing at your hardened nipple.
It makes you whimper and nearly fold in half with how sensitive you feel.
“I’ll make you feel so good,” he coos, his lips parted and eyes tracking the movement of his thumb.
You lift your arms to his shoulders, uncertain yet if you’re planning to push him away or pull him close when you hear the quick footsteps of the boys.
Lee steps back to give you some distance and your hands flutter mid-air as you try to compose yourself.
The boys start to whine over each other-
“Momma. Robert keeps knocking over my building.”
“No, he keeps takin’ the blocks I’m using.”
Some kind of clarity forms and you rush out a solution for them, “Why don’t you get out your TinkerToys and split it all up? Alright? Go back to the other room,” you nudge them away.
Problem solved, they run back to the room, leaving you standing in the kitchen, Lee lingering just feet away and the half-finished coffee press on the counter.
“Jane must be expecting you home by now.”
He grunts and shakes his head ruefully, “She’s probably passed out by now.”
“Oh,” you nod. You search for something, anything to excuse yourself and catch your breath, “I need to go to the bathroom. Excuse me a moment.”
You slip out of the kitchen and into the door just down the hall. Taking a moment to relieve yourself then press a cool rag to your cheeks. You’d nursed the glass of wine Jane had poured, so you knew deep down you weren’t tipsy, you were just overrun by the feelings the sheriff gave you. Once you get your first full breath in minutes, you feel better, calmer and more controlled. You look at yourself in the mirror and decide - you just need to send him on home.
You barely crack open the bathroom door when it’s pushed open wide, Lee wedging in when it’s wide enough and nearly slamming it shut behind him.
“Don’t hide from me, Sweets,” is all he says before he’s got one arm around your middle again, and the other holding the back of your neck while he presses his lips against yours. After gasping in surprise, you instinctively return the kiss - your tongue and lips tentative against his dominating mouth. 
It’s strange - all of it so strange after so long. It’s been years since your last kiss and you feel clumsy, out of practice, but he doesn’t hesitate one bit, doesn’t seem turned off by your uncoordinated motions and hands that can’t keep still over his middle and shoulders.
He takes in a deep breath, pausing for just a second to position himself better, then he’s back on you, and you feel ready for him this time. One hand resting on his chest while the other hooks up around his neck, your fingers stroking through the soft, short hairs at the back of his head. He turns the both of you, pressing you against the vanity sink.
“Lee,” you whimper when he wedges a leg between yours.
“Shh, shh, sshh. I got you.”
His kisses are relentless and make you light-headed, gasping for breaths every time he slightly lets up. His hands push and pull, struggling against your dress and your undergarments until he’s freed one breast and can drop his head to suckle at your hard peak.
Your mouth falls open in a silent cry, mind painfully aware of the children in the room nearby. You crack open an eye to make sure the door is still closed and try to focus on the sounds the kids are making, but his tongue and lips are too distracting. He pulls as much of your breast into his mouth as he can, greedily swirling his tongue all over the sensitive bud, and pulling away with a loud pop.
You slap at his shoulder while he just looks up at you with a shit-eating grin.
“Feels good, right?” He places his hand to cup your breast, thumb flicking at your nipple. “Let me have you, I’ll make you feel so good, my sweet girl. Please?”
His own eyes close as he ruts up against you, his hard length pressing against your hip and sending a tremor through your body, practically shaking your bones. You don’t move though, your hands stay frozen where you hold onto him, but he continues to lead and coax you along.
One wide hand holds you at the back of your neck, just holding you in place. His mouth moves across your cheeks and at the hinge of your jaw. He whispers quiet promises of satisfaction, telling you how lovely you are and confirming every word with a kiss. His other hand leaves your breast after one final and quick pinch and grabs at the bottom of your dress. The fabric bunching in his fist as he gathers it until he can feel your thigh.
Then he teases you with just the tips of his fingers, sliding right up and over til he meets where your thighs meet. It tickles, makes you shake a little, and then you’re sucking in a hard gasp when he keeps going until he pets and presses over your sex with the pads of his fingertips.
“So wet,” he says on an exhale, pressing right where you feel your excitement leaking. “You want me too. It’s alright.”
To prove his point, he presses harder, flattening his hand until he’s cupping you and making your body jerk between him and the sink. You bend your knees to open your thighs wider with the touch, and he groans and presses hard against you again, the heel of his palm putting pressure to your throbbing clit. You struggle to not hook your leg right over his hip to let him in.
“Lee,” you start to beg, “Please. Oh my god, please.”
It’s so overwhelming you start to sob, the tears already prick at the corners of your eyes. Just being touched, feeling the warmth of him, and the words - it’s all that you remembered being with a man to be and more. His hand keeps a rhythm against you, driving you higher. You hadn’t had a man’s touch in years, but suddenly you need Lee like you need air.
“Please,” you say again. Your body tingles with electricity that has nowhere to go.
“So pretty. You’re so pretty, baby. I’m gonna take care of ya. Am I what you need?”
“Yes,” tears start to roll down your cheeks. He pulls back slightly until he can slip his fingers underneath your panties, gliding right through your arousal. You feel two of his fingers slide into you, and you squeeze around them instantly.
“Fuck,” he grunts. Your wetness drips down his fingers into his palm. He presses the heel of it against you again, right against your sensitive clit this time. “Come on my fingers, sweetness.”
He fucks you with his hand, his thick, solid fingers caressing you while he sends jolts of pleasure through you with pressure on your sensitive button. You squirm to get away, but the hand still at the back of your neck tightens and holds you down, making you take it.
“It’s alright,” he whispers, “It’s alright.”
And that’s it. You freeze for a moment as the pleasure peaks and then you’re trembling as the shocks of it rush through you in a blaze. You can hear the wetness drowning his fingers as he keeps pumping them into you while you clench over him repeatedly and sob as quietly as you can, which must not be very quiet because he starts to shush you and slow the movement of his hand, gently attempting to calm you down.
“You’re okay, s’alright baby, just breathe, c’mon,” you hear him coach, but all you can focus on is the thumping beat of your heart as it races and trying to catch your breath between sniffles, the tears falling freely down your cheeks.
His hand slides out from your panties to grab you steady at your waist, the hand from your neck moves so he can use his thumb to wipe away your tears. He presses his forehead to yours and tells you to breathe with him.
You blink your eyes open, eyelashes glittering with wetness and you take a minute to focus. Once things are clear, you tilt your head back to look at him. His cheeks are flushed, lips wet and rosy, and his eyes - they nearly glow as he looks you over. It’s something to see - awe, tenderness, pride all in the twitches of his lips as his lips turn up with a smile.
“Sweets, will you touch me?” he asks. For such a big man, his voice is suddenly so small.
“Lee, I can’t-I haven’t…” you struggle to find the words.
“It’s alright, that’s alright,” he assures you, circling your wrist with his fingers still sticky from your arousal, and guiding them to the bulge in his trousers. You flinch, but don’t pull away, your arm tenses, but goes with the motion. He presses your palm against the solid length, pushing down to give him some relief. His hips press against you in return and once he’s sure you aren't going anywhere, he lets go of your wrist, then starts to undo the belt and button in quick movements. He tugs the waistband of his trousers and boxers down together, just to release his cock.
You feel the fabric move under your palm, but keep pressing against him, your hand sliding just slightly out of remembered instinct. When the fabric of his boxers slides away and you’re met with the heat of his cock, you gasp. Your hand wraps around him, fingers circling around his shaft to hold him and pulling a strangled moan from him.
“Shit-fuck,” he hisses. “Won’t be long.” He wraps his hand over yours, pulling your fist up and down over him while he pumps his hips into it. Precome drips down from the slit, easing the glide. 
His eyes close and he presses his temple to yours, his face pulls up in concentration, focusing on the pleasure, “You’re so soft, so sweet,” he rasps, “Want you so bad, want you all to myself.”
You can imagine it, if you’re ready to be totally honest, you have imagined it.
“Kiss me?” you whisper.
His lips meet yours roughly for a long press, then he tilts his head and licks at the seam of your lips, making you open up to him. His hand and yours start to speed up, he keeps guiding you up and down, just the slightest twist at the head with each stroke.
The kiss turns sloppy, more sharing air and pecks than anything as he spirals with the pleasure you’re helping to give him.
“You’re gonna -you’re gonna make me-” with a pained expression, he nudges you away, his hand stroking frantically as he leans over your sink until he starts to come, streaks hitting the porcelain as he chokes down groans. You watch his neck and face go red, trying not to watch, but you can’t help yourself and catch the way his cock twitches with his release, all swollen and red. You don’t think you could possibly blush more, but still fire burns underneath your skin.
When he finishes coming, he reaches for you again, pulling you into another hard kiss. “God, darlin’. Fuck,” he whispers while he attempts to catch his breath. “Fuck. Haven’t been tugged off like that since I was a deputy.” He chuckles, the laugh coming out in hard puffs of air.
You struggle to look at anything in the bathroom, eyes straying back to Lee, to his softening cock, to the come dripping slowly in the sink basin. Just then you hear the boys start to giggle and reality hits you again, making your chest seize up in panic.
“Oh, Lee. No,” you raise a hand to your mouth and quickly rush out the door, piecing your wardrobe back together as you walk back into the kitchen. You hear the water run in the bathroom and murmuring as Lee talks to himself.
Your movement must have distracted the boys because they manage to sound like a stampede heading toward you. You wipe at your nose and eyes as best you can before you turn to see what they want.
Both the boys pause, but it’s your son that speaks up, knowing how you look when you cry. “Momma, you alright?”
Lee exits the bathroom then, shirt tucked back in, belt and trousers back in place - only the flush from the neck up giving anything away. His eyes bore into you with heavy emotion that you are ashamed that you can read so well - concern, sympathy, desire. A mixture that you remind yourself you don’t deserve.
“Yeah, baby. I am. You know I get sad sometimes, I’ll be fine. Are you boys ready to say goodbye for tonight? I think it’s well past your bedtime.”
You grab Steven and fuss with his hair, with his messy shirt, and then turn him around and hold him against you like a tiny human shield. “Say thank you to the sheriff for fixing the projector and for letting Robert play.”
“Thank you, sir,” your son dutifully responds.
Lee can see what you’re doing and he’s not happy with it, his mouth going flat and shoulders heaving as you pressure him into leaving.
He just nods, then nudges at Robert’s shoulder, “Say thank you for indulging us.”
“Thank you,” Robert quietly says.
You send Steven down the hallway to get ready for bed, and then you follow behind as they step toward the door, Robert too tired from a full day of play to put up a fight. Lee opens the door to the back steps, telling Robert to be careful going down. When the boy starts down a few, Lee turns back to you.
Before you can react, he’s giving you another kiss, quick but meaningful. “We’re not done,” he whispers. 
“We are. Go home, Lee.”
He gives you a long look before stomping down the steps. “Til next time, Sweets.”
...
380 notes · View notes
kittenofdoomage · 3 years
Text
Happy Birthday to my blog, seven years ago today I started out in this strange wilderness and it's only gotten stranger 👍 nearly 700 stories and over 3.3 million words of fanfiction.
I was just going to leave this as a happy birthday blog post but I feel like I've got a few things I need to get off my chest, so this is below the cut, I know not everyone wants to or particularly cares to read it so there's ya choice 🤷‍♀️
There's no big announcements here FYI. I'm just doing what my friends have told me and putting my thoughts down on paper.
Some of you may have noticed I'm not posting anything on Tumblr anymore. The lack of interaction (comments, asks etc.) has just really put me off putting anything on here because it doesn't really feel like anyone either wants to read it or wants me around anymore, and I'm not gonna beg for attention. I'm not surprised, to be honest, my whole life I've been a square peg in a round hole. People just don't want me around - it's not just online. In real life there's exactly one place I feel like no one wants me to leave and that's in my house, with my family. I've just always been an odd person, and there aren't many people who vibe with me, it's cool, I've accepted it. But I'm not gonna be opening myself to that discomfort or pain anymore. My fics are all on Ao3 and I'll continue to post on there, my Tumblr will remain but I can't find the strength to get excited about something and then deal with the crushing feeling that no one wants my work. TBH I barely check Tumblr that much anymore bc I only come on here to check messages (usually from Beka, who knows all of this already but if you're reading this, thank you for listening to me and being patient with my mental breakdowns). My asks are staying off for now (sorry, Heart Anon, I love you, I've no idea who you are but please know you've been a light in my life and I appreciate you so much, and Marie, you have also been a beautiful friend with your daily gifs and hearts) but my PMs are on, just don't expect an answer right away.
I turn 35 tomorrow. It's been playing on my mind a lot, especially since my life expectancy ain't looking too good lol. I don't really have much of a life outside Tumblr. I'm a pretty boring person actually. Writing was the way I expressed myself and I truly enjoyed interacting with people who liked my stories. During the pandemic, it's been a way to keep myself focused and keep from slipping into the dark places we're all too familiar with. But there have been occasions lately where writing has been the cause of a slip into a dark place. And that's not healthy, and I need to work on it. I feel this is the time to stop forcing myself to write, seeing as I can't do much of it with my tiny human home for the school holidays.
My Patrons don't need to worry, I've still got material to share, it's a commitment I intend to honor because really, writing is the only thing I have, the only thing I feel I can do well and I am so, so, so, appreciative of every single person that supports me. I can't have a regular job right now (I hope that will change at some point because I've worked all my life until I got sick and I hate it) but you guys have given me a thread of independence, of dignity, and I value every one of you so much, those who have supported, who continue to support and who do so in the future.
I know this won't get absorbed, because it never does but those of you who read on Tumblr... please share the work you like. Set up a separate blog if you're too embarrassed to share on your main, make a reblogging blog, send asks, whatever, just please tell your author how much you liked what they did. I can assure you, those authors are waiting for it. We work so hard on what we make, what we create, we want you to scream from the rooftops. It doesn't even have to be coherent, we love all the feedback, we crave it (as long as it's not just a demand for part two, even Thor learned to ask for more without being rude about it, everyone else can). Without it, we're like plants without water. We don't feel the want to create anymore. And that's kinda where I'm at now. I don't want to lose my passion for my art but when there's nothing to do it for, sometimes it's out of our hands.
So, that's where I'm at. I'll probably lose followers (though I've already lost 250 in the last two months so that's not a surprise) and if any of my Patrons feel like my statement is unacceptable, that's fine. I don't expect anyone to agree with me. I just wanted to put my feelings down, to be honest with everyone. And I have.
I don't want the list of stories to end at 700. I want to keep creating stories that everyone will enjoy. I really hope things with change, even if not for me, then for the others out there who are on their creative journey.
Much love to everyone, stay safe xxx
(this post will remain untagged so it will not show in searches and I'm not tagging those people who I have spoken to about this and my feelings in general, as they know who they are, and they know they're very special, amazing, and appreciated people to me. I don't particularly care if this gets reblogged or not.)
67 notes · View notes
bunni-teeth81 · 3 years
Text
Slender bros rewritten by me
Cause I want character development
(This is mostly Offender, trender, and Splendor. Also if you like Slendey/slender dad you might not wanna read this cause I do not make him a good guy in the slightest)
Possible tw for mention sexual assault, pedolophilia, necrophilia, and zoophilia!
To start off, Offender is not a rapist, he isn’t a pedo, and he doesn’t fuck animals
He doesn’t do anything without consent, plain and simple. Him being all those things was a rumor started by someone he fucked in the past who got caught cheating. They said Offender forced them and the rumors have escalated since with his legend.
He actively avoids children cause he doesn’t like them. So he literally couldn’t be a pedo.
He doesn’t hate kids, he just prefers to not be around them.
He won’t fuck someone with kids unless the kids are out of the house and somewhere safe.
He’s wary about fucking 18 and 19 year olds and usually doesn’t
Occasionally if he sees a kid sad while he’s on a walk or whatever he’ll give them some daisies or something. Though they kinda just appear near the kid. He doesn’t actually go near them.
Though he will fuck old people. He has no problem with that. But he will go gentler cause they’re frail
He likes animals, but not like that. Like.. ew
He has a kind of respect for the dead, even people he’s killed to eat, so he’d never do that. Also it goes back to the consent thing. They can’t consent so he ain’t gonna fuck them.
He’s pansexual.
He’s very kinky, obviously. He’s willing to do pretty much anything in bed
He prefers to top but he has no problem being pegged-
Has tried every drug there is.
Usually just sticks to weed, alcohol, crack, shrooms, and the occasional LSD
Bath salts fucked him up majorly and he will never do them again.
He works for trender, who has a whole ass company (will be touched on later)
He helps trender make clothes for more alt styles (punk, grunge, goth, emo, all that good stuff) and he helps with lingerie (masc and fem. trender makes both. Offender tests it out and gives feedback on what could be added or changed)
He also finds models for Trender (there’s really no qualifications to be a model, you kinda just have to want to be one. Trender, his assistants, and other models will help fill new models in. And they never have to wear something they don’t want or pose a way that makes them uncomfortable. also theres do discrimination when it comes to models, any one of any race, body type, gender (or lack there of), sexuality, and age to an extent (depending on the clothes being modeled and (if parent permission is needed if they get it)) are welcome)
He also does side jobs like art (he does realistic art) plays piano or violin for songs, every so often he’ll join a strip club. Definitely has an OF.
He learned piano from his dad. Their dad made them all learn piano. His dad was very against him learning violin but his mother let him learn it (she knew how to play)
Their parents kept them pretty reserved from the rest of the world (particularly humans) for safety reasons. The brothers didn’t find out they were the only ones of their kind till they were like teens and went hunting for the first time.
Their parents suddenly disappeared when they were teens. They still haven’t found them and have no idea what happened to them.
Zalgo killed them cause the dad was constantly fighting him, so was the mom but less so.
There were originally 5 brothers, but one got murdered (It was Tenderman. Who wouldve been the oldest, then slender, offender and trender are twins, then splendor)
They don’t know how tender was murdered. All they know is they can be murdered. They still haven’t figured out how tho.
They do know that they can regenerate any part of their body (teeth and nails grow back almost instantly, limbs take longer, they can just put their head where it should be and the bone, muscle, skin, tissue and all that will pull back together, skin can either regenerate in about an hour or two or a couple days depending on the size of the wound. Their organs can regenerate but it takes like a month.)
Drugs don’t effect them the same way they do us. Our massive hangovers that put us out of commission is what happens after they do LSD. A regular hangover for us is what happens when they do coke or a drink shit ton of alcohol.
Offender has the highest tolerance, then it’s trender, splendor, and Slender has the lowest cause he hasn’t done drugs.
Splendor has tried them but doesn’t like doing them. He doesn’t drink much either.
Trender will do them every so often, usually with Offender. He either drinks or smokes a blunt usually. Shrooms are for special occasions, and LSD gives him major anxiety so he doesn’t do it.
Trender and Offender were the only ones to try bath salts. They don’t know what happened. Splendor says they disappeared for a month and murdered a shit ton of people. They almost got caught. And at some point Offender ate a whole ass headstone and took a chunk out of a mausoleum
Slender hunts whenever the hell he wants, he doesn’t care about being caught
Offender hunts every couple of months or so
Trender hunts about 2 times a year. He spreads out his food pretty evenly
Splendor hates hunting and usually Offender or Trender will do it for them. They’ll maybe hunt once a year.
Human food to them is like sweets to us. They can’t live off it but it’ll keep them from starving. If they don’t eat human for about 3-4 years they’ll start to starve, but the process is slow and would probably take a while to actually kill them
Trender, Splendor, and Offender try not to get caught or make suspicions rise. They just wanna live their lives.
The amount of people they consume and how long they stay in their human form determines their power levels.
Slender is the most powerful, then Splendor, Offender, and Trender is the least powerful (but they’re all still mega powerful)
Slender is never in his human form and consumes humans whenever he wants so he has nothing holding back his power
Splendor may not eat human much but they’re rarely ever in his human form. And if they are it’s not for more than an hour usually
Offender is in his human form about 50% of the time. He’s in his normal form at home or hunting and any other time he’s human so-
Trender is in his human form like 90% of the time since he spends most of his time at work (he’s a workaholic to the highest extent. When it becomes really bad is when Offender will step in and be like “hey let’s grab a drink and chill out”)
Offender and Slender’s relationship is like Raph and Leo’s from tmnt if their relationship was genuine hatred and violent
Splendor tries to med their relationship and makes times where they all hang out and have dinner together but to no avail
This is the only time Slender can be seen in his human form. He doesn’t want to go but for some reason he does
Slender is stuck in his ways
Their dad hated humans with a passion, and Slender looked up to their father and wanted to be exactly like him so the hatred rubbed off
Slender blames humans for his parents disappearing and Tender’s death. Tender was the brother he bonded with the most
Splendor used to be a really emotional kid and their father hated that so now they bottle up everything
Their mother tried to help as best she could
V support
Trender’s company is a fashion company that produces just about everything
And the sizes go up to 4 or 5 x
And the prices are reasonable and don’t go up with the size
Trender really doesn’t give to shits about money. If he could he’d just give everything he makes away but unfortunately he needs some money to produce what he makes.
He makes kids clothing, teens clothing, adults clothing in every aesthetic you can think of. Rarely will you see basic shit from him
He makes jewelry (real and fake (for the kiddies) and specifies very obviously which is which so someone doesn’t accidentally buy the wrong one)
He makes shoes!
His prices are usually around 10-25 dollars for clothing, sometimes 30 if it’s a specific brand (like Gorillaz or something. He doesn’t work with brands like Victoria secret, brands that have sweat shops, things like that. He doesn’t support them whatsoever)
His business is huge but he always listens to the people and tries to improve. And all his products are made ethically. He tries in every way possible to produce good products without polluting the earth more
Splendor usually only hangs around babies-young adults. They help them through rough home lives, trauma, and helps them find joy. They do everything they can to make them feel better
Splendor is the one who takes care of Sally. And they feels incredibly guilty for not being able to stop what happened to her, or punish her uncle himself.
Animals and mystical creatures are drawn to them and their home. They go to it for shelter and safety, as well as some food. But because Splendor isn’t always there they have a nymph friend there to look after everything.
Slenderman is the only one with proxies
Splendor is demisexual and bi, leaning towards men
Trender is queer and demisexual/demiromantic
Slender doesn’t love anything. Ever.
Trender gets annoyed easily but rarely ever gets pissed pissed (like original face altering pissed) if he does it’s either cause someone did something to his brothers or his models. And the unfortunate soul who did such will never be seen again afterwards
Offender doesn’t really get pissed pissed cause he usually either bottles it up or makes a joke out of it. It’s really only if something happens to his brothers that he gets pissed pissed.
Splendor has a list of people they wish they could rip to shreds. All of them parents. But they don’t want to do that to the children. They only intervenes and gets pissed pissed when the abuse gets physical or sexual. When it’s physically they’ll give the parent one change to never do that again. They’ll scare the shit outta them but won’t hurt them. If it’s sexual they kill them. Plain and simple.
Splendor started wearing pokadots to make the kids happy. Trender hates the suit but doesn’t comment usually
Splendor’s black hands are a skin disease their species can have. The skin is black and kinda ridged.
Splendor wears gloves because of their skin disease. the blood stains and they can’t get it out. Also they’re very insecure about their disease
Splendor put the bells on their tendrils so their movements didn’t scare the kids. They would always know when he was moving and where he was moving to so they’d be more comfortable. It was painful but it was worth it
Slender was in the woods when he was younger and almost got attacked by humans, but his mother came and saved him. (Her tendrils could be used as a shield)
Eden is not related to the brothers.
But eden looks a lot like their mother, so much so that Spendor legitimately mistakes her for their mother.
Slender’s human name is John (splendor had to come up with it on the spot leave them be)
Offender’s human name is Dimitri and I’ll die on this hill
Splendor’s human name is Faer
Trender’s human name is Quael
They can change their physical appearance to be fem or masc. like their body can change.
Slender doesn’t give two shits about pronouns
Offender doesn’t care but he/they/xem works
Trender goes by he/him
Splendor goes by they/them
(Im including Slenderwoman now so uh... 🤷)
Her hair is her tendrils.
She’s not part of the Slender bro family nor does she know they exist (though eventually she will. She’s way younger than them so)
✨Lesbian✨
Has met Slenderman tho. She hates him
Like genuinely hates his guts
She hates almost sharing a name with him.
Prefers to go by her human name; Eden
As long as you don’t use the pronouns he/him she doesn’t care.
She just kinda... appeared at the ripe age of 4? (She doesn’t remember anything past 4 so that’s what if feels like to her.)
Splendor is a switch and you can’t change my mind
Trender is also a switch
Slender doesn’t get any cause he’d kill them, purposely or not, being radioactive and all.
Eden is a top but can bottom is convinced
Offender, Splendor, Trender, and Eden can all control their radiation output so they can glitch tech when they chose and won’t hurt anyone
Slender could but doesn’t want to 🤷
They can be killed by their hearts getting impaled. The reason they don’t know that is because the skin will heal, but the heart can’t.
Offenderman’s real name isn’t Offenderman. That name was dubbed to him when people believed the rumors of him. But he kept it. He can’t really explain why but he did. And now he forgets it’s not his real name sometimes. Though he does prefer to go by Offender/Smexy.
Splendor calls him Offendy and he’s the only one allowed to do so
Trended has four arms, plus his tendrils. He can hide his second pair of arms like his tendrils but it takes energy
Getting their limbs/tendrils cut off only stings to them. They’re only in full on pain when their organs are involved
Eden’s blood has healing properties.
Someone can be turned immortal by being injected with one of the brother’s (or Eden’s) blood in large amounts. It’s extremely painful though.
Doing it slowly can ease the pain, so doing it over a week’s time nonstop will get the job done.
The injected person will be very weak after it for a couple days. A week. 2 weeks in worse cases.
The only one who’s done this is Splendor. They were dating a guy for a very long time and they told him about the procedure and he wanted it. After gaining back his strength he left Splendor. They’re not entirely over this even though it happened a long time ago.
They (mainly Offender and Trender) had to track him down and kill him. (Ya know, heart stuff)
That’s when they figured that’s probably how they could get murdered 
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
98 notes · View notes
physicalturian · 3 years
Text
[18+] Words of pleasure - Law x F!Reader - Part 5
[No spoilers] [Modern AU - College AU] [She/her pronouns used for the reader, no physical description; Everyone +18] Words : 6269 Archive of our own
Warning : Power play / Dom/sub Dynamics / Control / Stranger / Flirting / Aftercare / Awkwardness … If you feel like I should add more warnings, send me a dm or and ask
– Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4
You: Sup doc, got home safely?
[You sent an attachment]
I chuckled for a second, making myself laugh at the picture of the crazy scientist from Back to the Future I had sent. Then when I looked at it more than five seconds, I just regretted it. “I should have flirted. I should have asked him if he was free soon. But I did that. Wow.” Gathering my stuff, I was expecting him to be asleep but received an answer in no time.
 Trafalgar Law 😷: I’ll admit it’s creative real first text. But don’t send me that shit again, I’m not an old man.
You: Hey, it’s hilarious. You mad because you asked me to call you doc and now you regret it.
Trafalgar Law 😷: I just hope you won’t see that in your head when you’ll think of me, it can easily become a turn off, I think.
You: Damn, what if I’m into older men?
Trafalgar Law 😷: Lucky for you I’m older, then. Why are you still awake?
Trafalgar Law 😷: You should sleep, it’s late and you seemed tensed the entire evening.
You: You’re worried about me? How cute, I thought you were just looking to dick me down.
You: But I’m going to sleep soon, don’t worry hot stuff, I was just showering before bed.
You: Who knows, maybe I’ll dream of you 😉
 I read my message over, and over and as I saw him type and stop a few times I was quick to send another one.
 You: Yeah, ignore that. I’m tired, I’m not pushy promised. But you should sleep too, beauty sleep and all.
Trafalgar Law 😷: Depending on the kind of dreams you’re having, I’ll gladly join you.
Trafalgar Law 😷: You’re cute. I’ll sleep in a few. I still have some things to do, I’ll be sure to send you a text in the morning to ask you what you dreamed of.
You: Right, bold of you to assume I remember my dream. And that I’d share them with you.
You: But please go to bed, it’s getting super late.
[Trafalgar Law 😷sent an attachment]
Trafalgar Law 😷: I’m in bed, don’t worry.
 It was stupid, but I did laugh. He was sitting against his pillows, the simple black bed panel behind him. His hair was a lot messier than usual, but he did not look sleepy one bit. And he was still wearing his dress shirt, which clearly was in no way a pajama.
 You: Funny. You’re a funny guy Trafalgar Law, wow. You’re lucky you’re hot
You: You’re still fully dressed, that’s not going to sleep to me.
Trafalgar Law 😷: If you want to see me naked so bad, you have to work for it.
Trafalgar Law 😷: I did say I’d enjoy you on your knees, it seems like a good place to start. But, all in due time, right?
 Chuckling at his text, I bid him a good night without replying to his innuendo which was more than an innuendo, really. Hopefully, an unspoken promise of a goodtime. I left the bathroom feeling a bit funny inside and put the toy away before sitting back on the bed. I was wearing a large shirt so that I could show my legs if the HandSurgeon asked and sat with my legs crossed on the bed before typing.
 Edelweiss: Back!
HandSurgeon: Your lap is pretty red; how does it feel?
Edelweiss: it’s alright, a bit sore but I like it, it reminds me of yeah… the discipline so yeah, it’s ok
HandSurgeon: Cute, you enjoyed it quite a lot. Maybe you could take more next time if you feel like it.
HandSurgeon: But it’d mean you’d have disobeyed, which you won’t do. Correct?
Edelweiss: yes, I won’t. Sorry…
HandSurgeon: It’s alright, doll.
HandSurgeon: Is there something you enjoyed more this session? Or did not at all?
 Trying to remember the things he had said during the session, I was going to tell him that everything was good until I remembered that small thing he said, that I did not particularly enjoy. I didn’t know if he was going to tell me to just get on with it and try to enjoy it or anything but trusting he wouldn’t get mad I wrote down.
 Edelweiss: I really enjoyed your voice… that’s for sure but I didn’t enjoy being called a bitch in heat?
Edelweiss: it was alright right now though, but I don’t know, I didn’t vibe.
Edelweiss: sorry if you’re more of a degrader than praiser
HandSurgeon: I am sorry, I am indeed more used to be a bit rougher with my partner. I’ll be more careful next time, don’t hesitate to tell me if you don’t like something I do.
HandSurgeon: This is an exchange, we’re both in to enjoy it and have fun. And while I usually degrade, I am very much enjoying telling you how good you are. Even more so seeing how well you react.
HandSurgeon: You did good telling me your color, very good.
HandSurgeon: I believe edging was not in your list, but how did you enjoy it?
Edelweiss: soooo frustrating! And embarrassing to beg alright? But in a good way I guess… a very good way
 Pondering a bit more, I was curious. If we were giving feedbacks and asking questions, I could give it a go.
 Edelweiss: were you annoyed? That I touched myself.
HandSurgeon: Yes. I was. If I had you next to me, I would have brought you to my bed. I would have had you kneeling in the center, with that egg still inside you. The had you stripped down naked and would have looked at you. If you had moved, I’d strike you down. Simple.
HandSurgeon: You’d be begging in no time, really.
Edelweiss: it does sound kinda interesting though
Edelweiss: I’d definitely be up to it if you’d enjoy it
HandSurgeon: I’m sure you’d take it like very well, adding a blindfold to the mix would be even better.
HandSurgeon: You wouldn’t know when I’d strike. Jumping on the bed at the littlest touch. Goosebumps all over that pretty body of yours.
HandSurgeon: Running the tip of my whip over your skin. Barely grazing it. Then gripping the back of your neck and sliding my fingers through your hair. Pulling your head back to see that needy face of yours.
 I wanted to read more of him, see what else he’d do to me. I wanted to do something again. While my sex was sore, I could also feel the throbbing coming back and fuck was I ready to ask him if he had time to do it again. My body must have been moving on the screen, since I saw the new message from the dom.
 HandSurgeon: Stop fidgeting. There won’t be another session tonight, doll. I have to finish working, and you…
HandSurgeon: Well, you need to eat something and drink some water. Go get some food. We can hang up if you want, or you can leave the camera on. I would not mind the little motivation of seeing my girl on the screen.
Edelweiss: I won’t stay long, I have classes tomorrow. Lemme grab some food, I’ll be right there!
Edelweiss: but admit it, you just want to make sure I eat and drink 👀
HandSurgeon: I do indeed. Now, go.
 We then spent around 20 minutes on the call. I stayed with my camera on, still making sure he could not see my face, and ate up. He would reply a bit more slowly than during our session, since he was working, but when he did it was a lot lighter than usual. We talked of our lives, previous partners, preferences but it quickly turned to other topics. TV shows we enjoyed or had in common, hobbies, pets.
 I learnt he liked to sketch, mostly people, he never did art school and never wanted to but loved the human anatomy. He said he found it fascinating. I felt flattered when he suggested we find some free time so that he could draw me. I told him I’d think about it, then we changed topics but kept off the more personal ones, such as family, school and city. The less we knew, the better. It was weird, getting to know him after I had let him do as he pleased with me. But doing so made it more interesting for some reason.
 I did not feel anything much for the man, but I enjoyed his company a lot. I had no plan of meeting him at all, and if I ever found someone, I’d probably stop talking to him, which is something we both agreed on. This was just to get off, this was simply to both find that pleasure of having the power dynamic in play. It was interesting, and I never thought I’d be doing this but here I was, having hung up on a stranger I should call my dom. Here I was, exhausted after masturbating for him. Following each of his instruction.
 Having had a taste of that side I had never ventured on, I realized I liked it a lot and I could see myself doing it more from time to time. Maybe not all the time, but in bed it was so intriguing.
 I surprised myself as I laid under my covers, slowly drifting to sleep, when a thought crossed my mind, I wonder if Law would do that… I shook the thought away, but it came back just as strong, I was curious. He would look at me with the same look he gave me all night, intrigued and yet clearly expecting all those reactions of me. Knowing what he was doing, knowing the effect he had on me. Whatever I’d say, he wouldn’t be surprised, as if he could read me. He’d ask me those same questions he did that night, trying to get me riled up and I would let him. Would I imagine him as that man from online?
 Would I secretly be hoping he would be that good? Would I let him do as he pleased with me? Was I even going to go on a date with him? This last question had an answer already, we both hardly had any free time. I don’t believe we had the same schedule either, it’d be too hard. But I’d entertain the idea, it was fun. I was slightly excited if it did happen, after all he was attractive. And I could use the kind of fun he was suggesting, considering all the stress we must both be under.
 Turning in bed, I pulled my phone from under my pillow and texted Law.
 You: You better be asleep old doc, because I am hitting the sac. And ignoring your last text at the same time.
Trafalgar Law 😷: Shall I take that as a “no”?
You: Definitely not, but I want to know if your personality is as hot as your face, first.
You: For scientific purposes
Trafalgar Law 😷: Luckily, I did pretty well in sciences. I’ll help with your research then.
You: That means I can call you partner? Pardner 🤠 in research of a fun time
Trafalgar Law 😷: Partner of fun, if you want. Pardner, no.
You: Dagnabbit, sad cowboy noise.
Trafalgar Law 😷: I think you need sleep, partner.
You: I definitely do, good night pardner. You should sleep too, you looked fucking tired tonight.
[Trafalgar Law 😷 sent an attachment]
You: it’s pitch black?
Trafalgar Law 😷: Because I’m trying to sleep, and you keep messaging me.
You: no one’s forcing you to answer 😏 but good night pardner
Trafalgar Law 😷: Good night
 I did fall asleep soon after. It was a miracle I managed to keep the conversation that long considering how tired I was and yet I was able to exchange, albeit embarrassingly, with the hot guy. I did not know why I had sent him a message- who am I kidding I know why I did that. Not only was I in that post-orgasm daze but also, this little voice in my head kept considering him as a potential something.
 That something was yet to be determined, booty call? Romantic partner? Sex friend? I did not know yet, the only way to find out was that date. And perhaps, if it went well enough, the after-date part. Which I was excited about, maybe more than the date part.
 This time I did not dream of the HandSurgeon, I did however have a dream about Trafalgar Law. It was not as hot as the one I had the night before… But it was something…
 In that dream, I had called him out of boredom while working on some stuff, and he had picked up mildly annoyed. But even though he was annoyed, he kept me on the line while making his way to his office and closed the door behind him.
 Then the mood changed, the ambiance too, the lights got slightly darker and suddenly I found myself in his office. He was leaning on his desk, arms crossed across his chest and seemingly expectant. I saw myself approach him with determination, I was but a spectator to that whole scene. I stopped right in front of him and let him grab my hands before he pulled them behind his back and turned me around so that I was now the one against the desk.
 The view changed and I could see him from up close now, he was looking down at me with a smug smile. I saw his lips moving but could not comprehend what he was saying. His tattooed hand travelled to my neck, gently brushing his thumb over it before grabbing my jaw gently. He spoke again and while I did not know what he said, I felt nervous, and slightly afraid.
 I tried to ask him to repeat, and maybe I did but I could not hear myself. He leaned forward and let his other hand graze the skin under my shirt before whispering. “Edelweiss… my sweet and pretty toy. So good for me.” I let my head fall back in pleasure from his touches but the constant feeling of confusion and fear only grew. I tried to understand why I was feeling like that, among the joy I felt upon hearing his word. Then it clicked.
 He doesn’t know about Edelweiss- he’s not that man, he shouldn’t know.
 Now I’m in my bed. Looking at a screen, I can see someone on that screen, but I can’t see it really. Then I understand who it is, HandSurgeon, but this time it’s Trafalgar Law. “You want us to be the same.”
 “You wish I was real, you’re so desperate for this to happen with me, with him, we’re the same to you, Edelweiss. You should think, wake up, realize that you’re making a mistake, wake up, we can’t be the same, wake up, you just want it so bad-“
 “Wake up!” I was startled awake by Nami, who was looking at me angrily, already fully dressed. “Jesus, did last night tire you that bad?” How could she know what I had done last night? She wasn’t even home- Trying to come up with anything, I was too sleepy to be embarrassed, then she spoke and cleared my mind. “You know, if I had known socializing with Traffy would tired you that much, I would have brought him over a lot sooner. Maybe you’d finally catch some real sleep.” She explained as she kept her gaze on my, probably, sleep-marks adorned face.
 Sighing, she pulled the covers off my form without a second thoughts when I was unresponsive to her words. “This time you have more than 5 minutes to get ready but move your ass or I’ll leave you there. Come on, hurry.”  She stopped by the door and made a compassionate face, “By the way, don’t worry, he exhausts me too. It’s the smug face and the condescending attitude that just-“ she made a sounds with her tongue against her teeth, “it ticks me off, you know?” She was gone right after.
 Looking at the doorway longer than I wanted to, I started drifting off to sleep when I was startled awake once more. My phone was ringing, and I was very much aware it was not my alarm. Stretching my arm to the bed table, I grabbed my phone and was surprised when I read the screen and saw it was Trafalgar Law. I picked up in confusion, “What do you want?” With the sleepiness and the confusion, my tone ended up being a bit more aggressive than I expected.
 “How about you start with good morning?” I heard him chuckle, he was probably proud of that too. Rolling my eyes, I let my head fall back on the pillow and spoke again, “Good morning, do you need something?” I sighed and pulled my covers back on my form, hearing the blinker of his car in the background I guessed he was driving and was paying more attention to the road.
 “Good morning, did I perhaps wake you up?” He asked rhetorically but I could hear the smile on his lips. All I did was hum in return, still waiting for the reason he called me. “I’m free this Thursday, how does it sound for those… research?” He seemed reticent saying it, probably rolling his eyes at how stupid it sounded. Laughing in my throat in return, it was not charming but the way he said it made it too funny for my dazed state. “Too shy to call it a date? I need to check my schedule; I don’t know if I’m free.” Thinking he’d hang up, I instead heard him talk to someone before talking to me again.
 “Then go ahead and check, I’ll wait.” He unbuckled his seatbelt and rummaged through something while I checked on my phone, mumbling. “Can’t you let a girl sleep? Don’t you have a work to get to?” I opened the calendar but kept grumbling while doing so, “You’re lucky I’m not hanging up to go back to sleep.” While checking my schedule, I double checked if there was a time I could be free on Thursday and heard Law scoff.
 He huffed a laugh, “I think you’d have hung up by now if you did not want to talk to me, I don’t think it’s luck, but interest.” Then a sigh as he got a bit more serious, “Just answer the question, I have to get going.”
 Scoffing, I brought the phone back to my ear, “You’re just a pretty face for now, Doc. Don’t bet on interest just yet. Now, I’m free around 2 pm that day, if that’s cool with you. But add like half an hour or so, it gives me time to get back home.”
 “Give me the address of your campus, I’ll come and get you there.” I heard the sound of the car door being slammed closed in the background, and the rustle of a bag. “I’m not about to refuse a car ride, it’s a bit odd but thank you!” I quickly sat up, suddenly feeling excited for my plans on Thursday. “Don’t expect me to be dressed all chic though, if I have classes in the morning, it’ll be comfortable and only slightly fashion.” I said lightly as I made my way to my wardrobe to start getting dressed for the day.
 “Give me a moment.” I heard the phone being moved a bit, a few muffled voices greeting the man, footsteps echoing on the ground accompanied by the hubbub of phones ringing, beeping sounds and people talking. While waiting, I was able to get dressed and go back to my desk to prepare my stuff. After a few minutes, I finally heard him. “You were talking about your clothes, to be honest as long as it’s easy to remove, we’re good.” He said smoothly, I could hear the smirk, the smugness in his voice.
 I simply looked at the phone with surprise and pleasantness. That was interesting to say the least, and I was enjoying it. “You’re not saying anything, I’m assuming you agree. Good, then I’ll see you on Thursday? Don’t be afraid to send me pictures if you’re curious about what clothes to wear, I’d gladly help you pick.” I had to stand my ground, he was too smooth. Too much, too flirty, too… familiar…?
 “Just for that, I’ll wear the most intricate clothes I have. Make it worth your while, you know?” While his laugh was beautiful, it was also condescending. I kept having mixt feelings about the man. “Well, if I am in a hurry, know that I am very skilled with sharp tools, and I’d have no shame in tearing your pretty clothes apart.” The sound of the creaking chair in the background made me think he was probably leaning back on his chair. A quick thought crossed my mind, of going up to him and sitting on his lap and seeing what he’d do, but I shoved that thought away.
 Instead, I huffed in response and threw my bag over my shoulder. I tried to come up with a witty reply, making lame sounds with my mouth, but I had no matching energy. Even less this early in the morning. “Alright, sure, you win. I was not going to wear anything intricate anyway, even I’m too lazy for that. Casual it is, so don’t go looking all professional on me, please. I’ll feel off.”
 “Put it on my desk, I’ll be there in a few- it’s an important call, I’m sure he can wait five more minutes… He doesn’t have a choice, tell him to wait… Intern or not you can tell him to wait, how else do you expect to be taken seriously? …  Well, tell him I am the one who said that, then, Tony... Right, now go- And close the door behind.” I felt bad eavesdropping like that, it wasn’t a conversation I was meant to hear but it did not seem like any important information had been shared either. Except the fact that he said this was an important call when it clearly was not. It sent pride to my chest.
 Walking to the kitchen, I made a motion with my index to my lips to Robin and Nami when they started talking a bit too loud. I pointed at the phone, then wiggled my fingers before drawing an invisible circle on the back of my hand. I tried very hard to make them understand it was Law, but they seemed confused. Instead, I held my phone between my shoulder and my ear and spelled Law with both of my hands. This time they understood, I knew it from the huge grin on their face.
 “We got interrupted, sorry about that. If you feel intimated by a professional look, I guess we’ll have to drop by my place before going on that date. Do tell me if you’d rather I keep the medical coat-“ Cutting him off, I needed to set things straight. “Hey, I never said that was my cup of tea, okay? And I’m not intimidated, I’m sure you’re rocking the look- “ I never sighed more loudly than at this very moment when Nami snatched the phone from my hand, and said, “Alright asshole, time’s up, you’ve had time to work your charm… no I’m not doing that”
 Robin butted in next to the microphone and said, “She’s all flustered, Traffy, good work!” I went to grab it back from the ginger’s hands but the stepped back and exchanged a few words with Law before handing me my phone back with a bright smile. Bringing it back to my ear, I rushed back to the corridor to avoid them eavesdropping more than they did in the kitchen.
 “Sorry about them- for your outfit, wear whatever you want. I truly have no say in what you’re going to wear, plus you’ll look hot with whatever you pick so, it’s a win-win.” I quickly said, earning a laugh from the man on the other side. “I’d love to see your face right now, Robin did say you were flustered. Guess we’ll have to wait until Thursday.” He hummed, his tone having some finality to it. I knew it was my cue to hang up.
 “I wasn’t flustered, I- at best embarrassed- no wait that sounds worst doesn’t it? Anyway, see you on Thursday! Have fun at work, bye.” I waited until he bid me goodbye before hanging up. As I put my phone away, I leaned against the wall and sighed, letting my head hit the wall. “Are you okay?” Robin’s soft voice reached my ears, she was making her way towards me with a slight smile. Probably feeling a bit bad for going along Nami’s childish attitude only moments ago.
 Humming, I gave her a nod. But the words that followed were not matching the actions. “He’s like, very hot. And I really want to fuck him, right? But he’s also pretty funny, and good at flirting?”
Squinting her eyes, Robin asked, “Is that a question… or?”
“No, no, it’s facts and it confuses me! I was ready to just, hook up, but he could be more- I don’t know maybe I’m desperate.” I simply shrugged, leaving a silence between the black-haired woman and me.
 Looking up at her, she seemed to be thinking. Then she smiled, she was always the one with good advice but also a helpless romantic. “It’s a good thing isn’t it? You don’t need to worry too much, that date of yours will help you see if you’re really interested in him or not! If not, you’ll have great sex- if yes, you’ll still have great sex, and another date.” I groaned in reply, running a hand through my hair before giving her a short nod.
 “Yeah, you’re right. I’ll just- live my life until then, I have other things to do than think of a man. By the way are you home tonight?” I asked her as we walked back to the kitchen where Nami was nowhere to be found, there was simply a piece of paper with the words ‘bring your ass to the car’.
 Chuckling lightly, Robin shook her head. “I have to stay late at the library. Then Franky agreed to let me stay at his place, since it’s closer.” We talked a bit as we made our way to the door, where she wave me goodbye before closing the door gently behind me.
 When I was back in the car, Nami had one of her earbuds on and was talking more gently than she’d usually talk to someone. Which means she was talking to Vivi. I did not interrupt and instead grabbed my phone and saw a message from HandSurgeon.
 HandSurgeon: Are you feeling better? Don’t forget to stay hydrated, I’ll be a bit busy this week, but I can find time if you’d like.
Edelweiss: shit, just saw your message! Sorry, crazy morning. I am definitely sore, but it’s good, I can move so there’s that!
Edelweiss: Also, I might be a bit away from Wednesday to Friday, I am seeing someone and knowing how our session leave me pretty sore, I’d rather you know…
Edelweiss: be in good shape
Edelweiss: for a good fun
Edelweiss: a good fuck
 This time, I did not have a prompt reply. I put my phone away and it’s only halfway through my day, while I was working on something at the library, that I received a reply from him. I’ll admit, I had been expectant the entire morning for an answer. I had been deep in textbooks for so long, I was craving for any sort of interaction, from anyone. Which explained the speed at which I unlocked my phone to see the text from HandSurgeon, and even one from Trafalgar Law.
 I hesitate for a moment, then opened discord.
 HandSurgeon: It’s fine, you are allowed to have a life you know. Simply tell me if you want to stop this, or not, you know… if your someone is not the one and you still need a good fuck.
HandSurgeon: I will also be busy on Thursday, I’ll try to send you a text if I get some free time.
HandSurgeon: I just finished a long meeting, would you be up for a fun game?
 I stared at his messages, feeling a bit excited suddenly. But knowing myself, I would say yes, so I had to answer to Law first before spending my time sexting the stranger.
 Trafalgar Law 😷: I’m sorry we had to cut our conversation short, how was class? I have a bit of free time, if you’d like to talk about our research meeting.
You: That’s actually pretty cute, thought you were just a horny piece of meat but damn, you surprise me.
You: I am still on campus, drowning in work. I’d love to talk, but I need to focus, text me later? 🤠
 Going back on discord, I felt strange. I wanted to say yes, to play his game, but it felt wrong for some reason. I was double texting and it felt like I was cheating on a man I was not even dating. I ignored the thought and typed back.
 Edelweiss: I kinda wanna know, but also really need to get back to work. So, I’ll have to decline.
Edelweiss: But I’m curious, what was the game?
HandSurgeon: It’s quite alright, I was going to suggest you’d take a pretty picture for me no matter who was around. But you are busy, so I’ll leave you be. Focus on your work. I’ll talk to you later.
HandSurgeon: But for ‘emotional support’, I’ll give you this:
HandSurgeon : [sent an attachment]
 I snorted at his words, and smiled when he sent me a picture of his gloved hand gripping the wheel of his car tightly. I did comment on wearing gloves while driving, even though they were not medical gloves and it had some charm, it was very movie-like. And suspicious.
 After that, I put my phone down and got lost in work. I did not even see time fly by, what informed me that it was indeed a few hours later than I thought, was the grumbling of my stomach. “I think it’s time to call it a day.” I mumbled while packing everything up. With the books put back where they belonged and my laptop tucked away, I made my way outside and was walking through the parking lot when I saw a familiar mop of hair making its way towards me.
 I suddenly felt self-conscious and straightened my back before meeting his gaze and frowning in confusion. “Are you stalking me?” I patted my pockets in emphasis, before saying “Did you put a chip somewhere, or-“ Law shook his head as if I was being crazy. “Bro, it’s super super sus that you’re at my campus when I never gave you the address-“
“I asked Robin. I was going to ask Nami but she wouldn’t have given me anything.” He explained as if it was obvious.
 Looking around, I opened my mouth and closes it a few times. It was a bit awkward. “Why are you here, then?” I asked, still confused, my eyes squint in suspicion.
“Right- give me a moment.” He turned around and took a few long strides to get to his car and get something from the passenger seat before coming back. Even though his steps were hurried, there was still this elegance to it that I could not ignore.
 “I am very familiar with long hours of studying, so here’s a drink and some food. I used to skip meals, because I’d get too much into it. Don’t do that, eat.” While what he said seemed caring, he was not smiling or anything. But the gesture was so sweet I couldn’t help but smile.
“It’s very nice of you,” I said, tucking my hair behind my ear jokingly in faux-shyness before going back to a normal demeanor. “But I was going home. I was done for the day, here,” I handed it back to him before trying to find my wallet in my bag. “Let me, just- how much do I owe you?”
 He stopped me from rummaging through my back and ruffled my hair before handing me the drink and food back. “Nothing, I was passing by. Now I am sure to not get lost when I’ll come and get you on Thursday.” He winked, then looked back at his watch a moment. He seemed to ponder something for a moment, before looking up at me. “Would you like me to drop you off at your house? I have a bit of time before going back to work.” He asked kindly, showing me his keys as if trying to coo me.
 “Maybe you should go eat too? I’ll take the bus, it’s alright.” Smiling, the man pointed at his car with a certain pride. “Oh don’t worry, I got myself something too. It could be our first lunch date, you are so bent on traditions, so why not lunch?”
 I felt my cheeks heat up and pushed him playfully, careful not to spill the drink I had in my hand. “I’m not bent on traditions, I just barely know you, doc.” I looked to the side and shrugged before walking past him, “Let’s get lunch.” I said over my shoulder. I heard the man laugh in the back, then the jingle of keys.
 I tried to open the door but found it locked. I stated the obvious, “I can’t get in if it’s locked.” I was about to complain more, when he leaned over his side of the car and grinned. “Ask politely, and I’ll let you in.” I hated him, but the smile on my face was a betrayal of how I really felt. He was a little shit, but it was still fun. Rolling my eyes, I mimicked his action and rested my arms on the roof of the car, “Could you please unlock the car, doc?” “Good girl, was it that hard?”
 I turned my head towards him so fast I may have pulled a muscle in my neck, but the way he said it made it a lot more than just a nickname. He was testing the waters for something, and I had given him the exact reaction he wanted. “What, do I call you daddy now?” I said sarcastically while getting inside the car and buckling my seatbelt while he held everything before placing them back on my lap.
 “Not my thing, but I’m sure we’ll get to that conversation later.” He smirked as he put something in the glove box before closing it back and meeting my intense gaze as he leaned back on his seat. I was observing each and everyone of his action, feeling out of place in his car. I had met the man last night, but for some reason he felt familiar. Perhaps it was his aura, perhaps he was just that reassuring. No, clearly not, he looks threatening… “Something on your mind? I don’t know if you’re looking at me like you want kill me or fuck me,” Extending his hand towards me, he placed his index under my chin and lifted it, I quickly grabbed his hand like last time to stop him.
 “Maybe both, maybe none-“ With a short smile, he interrupted me, “Don’t be like that, I’ll ask differently. Are you uncomfortable? I haven’t done this in a while, so I’m trying to take it slow…ish.” He admitted. I could see on his face he was feeling just as sheepish as I was. Clasping my hands on my lap I chuckled nervously, “I’m good, I was just…. Observing. You’re doing good, simply put…” I trailed off and met his gaze with a playful grin, “Ye’re a looker pardner,” I then tipped my non-existent hat, which made him laugh genuinely.
 “You were just in awe?” He asked a bit surprised, hiding his bashfulness behind a laugh. “Exactly, take the compliment and don’t mention it again. Now drive, or you’ll get back late at work.” I huffed, looking at the window with warm cheeks. I felt a pull at my hand and looked at it confused, “I’d love to, but you’re still holding my hand.” I quickly let go and threw his hand back at him, “It was to make sure you weren’t going to do the whole,” Making a gesture with my hands in the air, wiggling my fingers, I continued, “Chin thing again.”
 Even though he agreed, only giving me a curt nod along with a “Right.”, I could see the smile on his face as he started the car. Looking at him from the corner of my eyes, I matched his smile discretely as I looked back at the road.
 The volume of the music wasn’t loud, I could hear the fabric of his coat as he maneuvered, the blinkers, my own nervous heartbeat. There was no reason for me to feel so nervous, we were just going to eat lunch then go our separate way. To try to calm down, I rummaged through my brain for topics to talk about, small talks was fun in social events but in one on one, it was a fucking disaster.
 Do you have any pets? Do you like cats? Maybe talk about his job? How long did he study? Or funny topics, less social, more creative? Politics is off the table, it’s not that great of a first date conversation. What’s your favourite colour? What part of your body to your prefer-
 I blurted out a question to try to fill the silence. And fuck did I regret it, I shouldn’t be allowed to speak when in that state, but it was too late. “So… what’s your favourite body part?” Wait, no, fuck, not…
[Part 6]
108 notes · View notes
kendrixtermina · 3 years
Text
Appreciating the Range of Type 6, or, one stereotypical example, and three that aren’t.
I want to tell you about some type 6 ppl that I know in my personal life.
Exemplar #1: F. B.
Complete Stats
Wing: 5 p or cp: largely phobic – lots of safety worries, outright authoritarian follower personality Instinct: sp/soc Trifix: 613  - 6w5 1w2 3w2 (“The Taskmaster” or “The Middle Manager”) jungian: ISTJ / SLI-Te oldham: Conscientious & Aggressive Essence Type: Mars Temperament: Pure Choleric
What he’s like:
Not pleasant.
Every “strict conservative middle aged guy” stereotype in the book. Control freak, makes a mountain out of every molehill, sees the world as full of axe murderers, judgemental as fuck, horrible temper and yet completely impersonable, all his opinions are copypasted from right-wing news sites. When they say war is good he’s for war, and when they say war is bad he’ll be like “At least Trump did not start any more wars” without perceiving a contradiction. Despite this, he believes is very hot, principled and funny. He is none of these things. He puts people down nonstop. My knowledge of neurochemistry tells me that he must have emotions somewhere or he couldn’t function, but I ain’t ever seen a single one of those emotions. They’re all for his job and a few trusted mentor figures. And his mom. At least he loved her.
If you say anything he doesn’t like, he “throws the sofa out the window” as his wife once put it.
How he’s a Type 6:
Well, he’s pretty much every negative stereotype in a nutshell… other than distrusting his partner. But that might be cause hes sx blind, or cause the wife is big on monogamy & wouldn’t ever cheat.
The one positive trait of 6 that he has is that he does his research. Before moving anywhere he googles the crime rates and if you need a doctor he might find you the best one. But even that can be overriden by ideology (hydroxychloroquine!). And if you don’t take his exact advice, there goes the sofa out the window again…
And I guess the work ethic from all 3 parts of the trifix really comes through – he hasn’t had a single bad grade in his life and always keeps collecting new certifications, and will make sure you hear about it...
Exemplar #2: I.
Complete Stats
Wing: 5 P or cp: pretty much an even mix of phobic and counterphobic Instinct: sp/soc Trifix: 614 - 6w5 1w2 4w3 (Would prolly call herself “The Big Pain” rather than “The Philosopher” ^^°) jungian: INTJ / ILI-Ni oldham: Serious & Conscientious Essence Type: Saturn Temperament: Chlor-Mel
What she’s like:
I���d describe her as serious, mature, discerning, focused and passionate about her friendships, if perhaps somewhat forceful at times, with a dry, sarcastic sense of humor.
Comes across like someone who knows what she’s talking about, with well-articulated points.
Often the Responsible Sibling, Designated Sanity Checker or Bullshit Detector.
Prefers to plan everything in advance in typical Ni dom fashion, even amusement part trips. Gets somewhat anxious without a future plan or shedule.
Often mistaken for a whole lot more sociable and confident that she really feels inside. (even I kinda bought it and got her whole darn trifix wrong on my first typing attempt, though that was when I was new to typology) She can act the boss act temporarily to get the situation over with, but she actually hates making decisions.
She does however have the occasional cute/pure moment where that lower function block comes out.
How she’s a Type 6:
She has saved our family from many a terrible restaurant by making sure to check the reviews. The preparing for all possible dangers is very 6, the acting tough outwardly when youre inwardly anxious, the intellectual problem solving & some tendency towards organization/responsibility/ “logistic” intelligence.
One online test she took gave her 5w6 instead of 6w5 but that’s probably just the ITxx-ness leaking in. I remember this one time we were discussing this artsy-fartsy theater play to which we’d had fascinatingly different reactions, and at one point I half-jokingly said something like “But does anyone ever really feel connected to others, or is that a myth?” to which she wrote, “[Name], what the fuck? Yes I do.” and then immediately deleted it. That’s more of a 6 reaction innit?
Nonetheless the wing does feature in significantly – for example she got very well informed about a lot of topics because she researched them to assuage a random survival-related fear, like, “How to make sure I have enough retirement money”
Exemplar #3: M.
Complete Stats
Wing: 7 p or cp: largely phobic Instinct: sp/sx Trifix: 692 - 6w7 9w1 2w1 (Fortunately very much a “Good Samaritan” rather than “The Stockholm”) jungian: ISFP / SEI-Fi oldham: Sensitive & Devoted Essence Type: Lunar-Venus Temperament: Pure Supine
What she’s like:
Precious! Sweet, nice, good listener, friendly, gives all the best gifts. But also perceptive and good at understanding people, eg. mediating to the parents when one of the younger sisters is having An Emotion™ or winning the trust of problem children.
Unlike I. Who has some soc that helps her keep track of a larger circle of friends despite her introversion, M. tends to enjoy the closeness with her family and have just a few very close friends. Excellent friend material all around! The sx and Se also come out in enjoying art forms involving the body like theatre or dance.
She can be a bit shy, conflict-avoidant and occasionally a lil bit panicky though.
As a small kid she used to be super duper shy but then a wise english teacher encouraged her to play a big role in a play, and since then she’s a lot more confident and doesn’t let ppl push her around without limit, though she’s still a quiet, helpful person. There you see the difference that a good teacher can make.
How she’s a Type 6:
For one thing she moves and emotes faster than a core 9 would, and she fits the body language – big eyes that move around a lot, stands a bit lopsided, talks in a shrill voice on the rare occasions where we exhaust her patience etc. As a xSFx and a w7 she shows mostly the “warm, friendly, likeable” side of type 6. She also has a very 6-ish tendency to very frequently ask people’s opinions & feedback before making decisions. (the other fixes probably add to this)
Alas, she also has a little bit of of the fear/insecurity.
Also she has a social/care job which might be seen as 6-ish desire to serve the community.
Exemplar #4: J.
Complete Stats
Wing: 7 P or cp: largely counterphobic Instinct: sx/soc ?? definitely not sp first. Trifix: 638 - 6w7 3w4 8w9(?) (Shall she be a “Justice Fighter” or a “Kyle”? Only time will tell.) jungian: ISTP / LSI-Se ?? Oldham: ? some Dramatic & Serious, perhaps ? Essence Type: Definitely Mercury Temperament: San-Mel
What she’s like:
The first adjective that usually comes to my mind is ‘cool’. Sassy, energetic & a little bit tough, but also affectionate when she wants to be. (though in admiring way rather than a mushy one)
She says the coolest things, has a certain sly sort of cleverness, and an astonishly good poker face. Bit of an occasional prankster. Hilarious. Knows all sort of cool science facts. Avid gamer. 
Not especially popular or over the top sociable, but she gets sad if no one pays attention to her a while. Will act visibly moody where ppl can see sad or worried and can catastrophize a bit in such situations.
How she’s a Type 6:
I first though we might be getting an ExxP type 7 since she was a pretty energetic child, but once puberty hit and independent thought manifested, she turned out a whole lot too reactive and ‘edgy’ for this, and more on the ‘moderate introvert’ side of things.
Since then the sisterly dynamic has been like one fluffy golden dog and 3 hissing black cats. Hissing Cats #1 and #2 are very proud of her, but cat #1 was forced to conclude that she’s probably not a positive outlook type.
Out of all the reactive types 6 fits best because she does broadcast group identity (like wearing merchandise of her favorite media and wearing buttons in solidarity with ppl she likes.) & has a big case of Big Sibling worship for M, I, and someone else who isn’t on this list due to being a 9. (a 4 or 8 might like their older siblings but probably wouldn’t constantly stress the admiration.), but she can also show lasting, pouty displeasure with authority figures who have slighted her. (Like that one time I went too far in teasing her...)
I’m just assuming the 8 fix because that tends to make 6s more bold, louder & more shameless.
Basically she is the “punk teen” type of 6. She can be a bit dramatic & over-the top but still come to her family on advice (even advice on pranks!) in ways that xSTPs of other enneagrams prolly wouldn’t.
She also tends to use self-deprecating humor in tough situations and deflects compliments to present herself as ‘ordinary’.
...
This may sound like I’m really getting down on my first example (I won’t pretend that I’m not) but the point in bringing him up is that the reason he’s like this is: He was subject to really bad parenting that put a lot of fear into him, there was no good parenting to teach him broader coping strategies, he lived in a crappy environment that crushed his dreams, in a sense ‘confirming’ those fears and making him double down, resulting in a person who is just always rigidly following the same predictable pattern or jumping from one automatic reaction to the next with very little pausing and thinking. That goes for the other types too: A ‘stereotypical’ person is a desperate person ruled by fear, who cant stop or soften up even for an instant cause they constantly feel this fire of threat under their arse.
A lot of descriptions say that 6s ‘Follow authority’ but most would balk at the notion – ‘I do the research!’ they might argue ‘I don’t just trust anyone’ or ‘I’m actually a rebel’. There is of course such a thing as denial  that’s more like the extreme case.
But with a more average, functional 6 it’s not so much ‘obedience’ as that they just like to bounce their ideas off of others to get feedback, or that they feature in other’s viewpoints. So you might get someone who can naturally use feedback (something other ppl may have to learn first) or who is very considerate of others (which others might have to consciously remind themselves to do.)
Those are sometimes pretty good traits actually.
On the other hand this is probably part of what makes decisions hard cause they consider all these possible scenarios of how things might displease or cause harm to everyone involved.
Being able to naturally snap into Action Mode under stress looks a bit enviable from the outside, but I. assures me that it’s actually super stressful & exhausting, even for someone who doesn’t get to a point of just being unreasonably aggro at you.
Though even an extreme case like F.B. would probably claim that he ‘did the research’ even as he’s 1:1 quoting the Pope at you, and then saying that you ‘have to be respectful’ even if you don’t even believe in Christianity. Hence why you get a lot of authoritarians talking about “disrespect”. You didn’t “fail to obey”, you “disrespected the flag” or  “hurt the feelings of the Chinese people”. Because they’re still trying or inwardly thinking that they’re doing the consideritation & considering other’s PoV thing when they’ve long since crossed from respect and consideration into mindless obedience, all while still thinking that they’re very sceptical and discerning cause after all they really distrust the other political party or whatever.  
In a way you get this obsession with ‘mind control’ cause they’re not unaware of & very much looking to guard the blind spot. They’re adults trying to do adult things.
For example, if I voiced an opinion to F. B. which he didn’t like, his reaction was often to ask “who told you that”
That’s just how he seems to think opinions work, somebody tells them to you.
Makes one wonder how he thinks new opinions start.
Yeah - Nobody told me that. I concocted it myself in some corner of my head. And in the interest of objectivity, I should stress that you can also end talking out of your ass that way, if you’re not basing it on enough outside data. Making up new shit has more of a quadratic than a linear learning curve – at least with copying you get something semi-useful right away. In making up your own you might be really off a long time before you stumble on something useful.
Also, I was young at the time and it’s not wholly unreasobale to think that an inexperienced person might be duped. I reacted really badly in part cause he hit my own ego buttons cause I was of course proud of this epiphany that I had concocted by myself, and now he says (or so I perceived it, being sensitive to accusations of incompetence) that I’m too dumb to form an opinion, so of course I launched into full Obnoxious Reddit Dude Mode.
In I. It manifests more on a reasonable useful level like “Oh wait, should [young cousin] be on TikTok? I don’t want him to get sucked into some cultish BS.” which is at least something the parents should have on the radar/ warn him about even if they do let him use TikTok, because for all that it is vital for him to get his experience with independent socializing & experimentig with sel-presentation, people do sometimes get suckered into cults or goaded into unsafe tests of courage.
And in a sense… maybe they overamphasize it but to some extent they’re also simply consciously aware/ mindful of it. The rest of us are not immune to propaganda after all, solong as it’s presented in a way pleasing to our egos. Any type structure can become a ‘hook’ if you’re not careful.
16 notes · View notes
thesims4blogger · 3 years
Text
The Sims 4 Paranormal Stuff: Developer Blog (Part 2)
SimGuruConnor has released part 2 of the Sims 4 Paranormal Developer Blog series.
Tumblr media
Welcome back to another dev blog about our latest Stuff Pack! This week let’s talk about the Seance Table, Paranormal Investigator Career, and an interview with our Art Director!
 So let’s just get right into it!
Tumblr media
Thanks Doctor Ashely for this horrifying scene.
Seances for Everyone!
The Seance Table is here! Talk to ghosts! Scare your friends! Summon the unexpected! This thing is capable of all sorts of spiritual meddling, and functions on any lot!
Tumblr media
Your Seance Table can be decorated too! It’s a table surface, so feel free to put a Crystal Ball on top, or maybe a Sacred Candle? Slot any chair you want too!
When you use a Seance Table you’ll develop your Medium Skill, unlocking new Seances, the ability to host Group Seances, and the ability to draw chalk Seance Circles anywhere in the world! And if you’re a Spellcaster Sim, you’ll gain skill much faster due to your familiarity with the mystical arts. This skill and the Seance Table are available for Children and older too!
One of the main purposes of the Seance Table is to perform a ceremony that strengthens the spiritual serenity of the house, making it a little less creepy. However, if the Seance is interrupted for any reason, it might have the adverse effect, so make sure your Sims are protected (Hint: Sacred Candles!).
Tumblr media
Seance Circles for the Medium on-the-go.
Other Seances include the ability to commune with the dearly departed. Hopefully, they’ll offer some sagely wisdom, or perhaps they’ll just insult you. Who knows? Great for parties.
Or if you’re really looking to stir up some trouble, you can also invoke spirits from the Seance Table too. Kind of like a ghostly grab bag, just reach in and pull out something deceased. A great way to spice up any lot, or completely ruin it. Honestly, this Seance isn’t entirely recommended, but since when has that stopped anyone?
Bonehilda!
Bonehilda is back! She’ll clean, fix your electronics, garden, fight fires, lay out snacks, and more! Summon her on the Seance Table or Seance Circle whenever or wherever you need her!
Tumblr media
She’ll also be your buddy! As long as your Sims don’t mind being around a fully sentient skeleton that is, but I hear they’re pretty open-minded. Bonehilda won’t ask for anything in return either, she’s just here to have a good time.
Summoning Bonehilda is extremely useful while living in a Haunted House, she can help take care of the place while your Sims are preoccupied with other pressing matters. Bonehilda also has a great protective instinct, and will swiftly and enthusiastically show harmful Ghosts the door (with her fists of course).
Paranormal Investigators Wanted
The last feature I’d love to talk about is the Paranormal Investigator Freelance Career. This career is kinda special, and only available for elite Sims with a Paranormal Investigator License. Sims can get the License by becoming a master Medium and becoming certified by Guidry, or by purchasing one in the Reward Store.
Tumblr media
A properly certified Paranormal Investigator.
This career is aimed for Sims who have mastered the paranormal and will have to use everything they’ve learned while living in a Haunted House to their advantage.
The gigs for this career are pretty straightforward. You’ll be sent 3 gigs to choose from, either an Easy, Normal, and Hard Investigation. Once you select your preferred difficulty, you’ll be instructed at 9:30 pm to go out on an investigation to an undisclosed location.
Where will the investigation take you? Anywhere! (Well any residence at least!)
Sometimes the Packcakes will have a bit of a Specter infestation, sometimes Goth manor will need an exorcist. It’s your job as a Paranormal Investigator to go wherever the action is, and snuff out any unwanted spirits.
Tumblr media
You also won’t just be sent to premade Sim houses, but also your own created households! Your other played Sim families might be in need of a spooky exterminator too! And don’t worry, the house won’t be permanently haunted either (You’ll have control over that with the Haunted Lot Type!).
Finishing these gigs on time leads to all sorts of weird and strange rewards. Feel free to hang up your Specter-in-a-Jar as a trophy. Or amass a collection of exorcised dolls! There’s tons of strange stuff to acquire!
Tumblr media
Since this is a freelance career, feel free to take these gigs whenever you feel inspired to snuff out some spookiness. These gigs can be demanding on your Sims psyche, but thankfully they pay fairly well.
Art Direction
This pack has a ton of both fictional and real-life inspiration. To go over where these influences come from, and how they manifest in-game, I’ll take it over to our Art Director Stephan Edwards!
Conor: Can you tell us what an Art Director does on The Sims 4?
Stephen: The AD works initially with Production, Design and Marketing to define the visual direction. Once we have moved into production their role is to maintain and inspire that vision by providing direction and feedback to artists, from concept through to the final asset.
Conor: What goes into the creative process when concepting for the Sims?
Stephen: Once the general theme and tone is locked down and approved, the team then refers to the key visuals and goes broad on gathering reference that reflects that direction. We begin on concepting out room views/clothing to investigate different narratives and moods, identifying elements of style, construction, pattern and color. At this stage, we are still working loose to make sure we explore all options and don’t box ourselves in. As the team iterates on designs, we start to narrow down the selections and then turn to final renders. We draw on those early investigations to help inform our palette, material and pattern choices.
Conor: What sort of real-life examples were used for the Paranormal Stuff Pack?
Stephen: Reference gathering is a huge factor in designing assets and so it’s fair to say that all the content is based on real life to some degree. The team tends to deconstruct styles and translate them through a SIMS lens, the simplified and stylised art of SIMS4 has a further impact on the final result.
Conor: If you had to choose, what was your favorite feature to work on across all of the Sims?
Stephen: Aaarg! That’s a really tough question. Because the packs are so diverse each one has its own set of unique challenges. I would say the supernatural aspect of this stuff pack was a lot of fun and allowed the artists to get a little more fantastical and creative. Storytelling is such a fundamental part of the SIMS and that permeates through CAS and BB designs. While curating all the eclectic pieces we stuffed into this pack I was constantly making up little stories in my mind. Where the characters may have found it, what relevance does it have to them and ultimately is there enough depth in the design to spark the same questions in the players. Oh, and Guidry, he’s a composite of eras and characters. I would be really interested whether the players can pick apart the influences.
Thank you!
That about concludes our look at our latest Stuff Pack! Big thank you again to the SP18 team, working with everyone was an amazing experience and made the later part of 2020 a little less awful. Watching this pack come to life was an absolute thrill.
The prepatch including the new Scared Emotion is coming out January 21st, and the Paranormal Stuff Pack comes out January 26th!
Until next time, SimGuruConor
48 notes · View notes
somerpmemes · 3 years
Text
Zoey’s Extraordinary Playlist S1 Starters
Change as needed. More under the cut.
“Quick question: do you always have to play and sing your music that loud?”
“Why are you up so early anyways?”
“Oh, I didn’t go to bed.”
“So, you’re ready for this?”
“I just really don’t wanna screw this up.”
“Keeping it lean for the ladies.”
“I need to expand my horizons.”
“It was literally all you.”
“Now is not the time to be modest.”
“Let’s face it, the woman’s a narcissist.”
“Work your magic, feel the glory, in it to win it.”
“Well I’m not really comfortable with anything.”
“Alright, who wants some freshly delivered, slightly cold, mediocre pizza!”
“Could we maybe open a window or something?”
“They’re not that scary.”
“Are you sure this isn’t an elaborate teleportation device that will take me to an alternate universe?”
“I just wanna get this over with.”
“Is this supposed to be happening?”
“That sounds really sad.”
“Why are you singing right now?”
“Why would I sing to you? You don’t even like me.”
“Can I get you anything? Water? Vodka? Xanax?”
“Quick question: did you recently imbibe or inject anything that came from a “medicinal” type shop?”
“But I’m an open-minded person, I’m willing to roll with this.”
“Maybe you’re operating on a higher plane than the rest of us.”
“Child, I’m completely baked. Ain’t nothing going on in my head right now.”
“This is the first thing that I find remotely interesting about you.”
“Will we ever have joie de vivre?”
“My mom left me when I was young and my whole life has been a series of rejections from the opposite sex.”
“You sure you don’t hear that?”
“Let’s party like it’s 1978!”
“And you should really take everything I say when I’m high with a grain of salt.”
“That song is real dark.”
“Good music can make you feel things you can’t express in words.”
“Hey, not that I’m keeping tabs or anything but that’s like your fourth cup of coffee today.”
“That’s a whole lot of tmi I just spewed on you.”
“Who knows what other people are really thinking, right?”
“I’ve found in general death and dying tend not to be the best conversation starters.”
“If I show you something can you promise to keep it only between us?”
“This is the only thing that I can hold onto.”
“I’ve become a real expert on bottling my shame and pain and hiding it from the world.”
“Listen, I’m not an expert on this or anything but you can't just keep it in.”
“I should’ve been the one this happened to.”
“I think we’re just gonna have to stumble through it together. The blind leading the blind.”
“If you had the power to know what was going on in other people’s heads, do you think you’d feel guilty?”
“I’m going to be uncharacteristically honest with you so don’t get used to it.”
“I notice everything.”
“I just feel like everyone’s against me.”
“Two more hours and I would’ve gotten it, just saying.”
“There’s gonna be good days and bad days, remember? Let’s chalk this up to one of the good ones.”
“Mama needs an update.”
“No, no, don’t be flattered.”
“I view you more as a social experiment, like a rat running through a maze.”
“Sounds bougie, I’m in.”
“I'm not in trouble, am I?”
“Bottom line, please?”
“You’re yelling, bro.”
“I’m acting weirder than normal?”
“Believe it or not I didn’t really play any sports growing up.”
“This power is wasted on you!”
“Is this weird? This feels weird.”
“I gotta say, I am loving the energy.”
“I’m pretty sure nobody cares.”
“Any desire to tell me what this is all about?”
“Of course I know that song, it’s a very famous song. Do YOU know that song?”
“With great power comes a lot of nasty stuff don’t nobody wanna do.”
“I’m not NOT mortified right now.”
“Please tell me your day was better than mine.”
“Do I need to hide all of my breakables?”
“I can’t cook. You should see the inside of my fridge.”
“I guess we’ve just breezed right past the whole “knocking-and-waiting-for-the-other-person-to-answer” phase.”
“When I get inspired no doors will stand in my way.”
“Creative. Absolutely terrifying..”
“Could be cool. Could be confusing. Could be both. Let’s see.”
“And I’m kinda obsessed with you.”
“Door’s always open, honey.”
“So could everyone please act as if they care?”
“I haven’t breathed outside air in over forty-three hours.”
“Why did we come up with this stupid, stupid plan?”
“Dolly Parton is my spirit animal.”
“There are lots of reasons why people are unsatisfied, ___. 80% of it is sex related.”
“Do you just make these statistics up?”
“I’m gonna keep this one simple.”
“The only place I’m comfortable dancing is in my bedroom… closet.”
“Don’t ever say that again.”
“First of all, that’s terrible grammar.”
“I was a drum major in high school and that mess would not have been tolerated.”
“I have always found it helpful to vent when I’m feeling dissatisfied.”
“I don’t vent, I scream into a pillow.”
“You dress like a docent at a folk art museum.”
“Wow, we’re still talking about this?”
“___, are you growing as a person?”
“And the good news is I’ve been banned from the grocery store.”
“There’s been a radical shift in the way I perceive the world, you wouldn’t understand.”
“There is nothing in the world that I love more than your smile. But not if it isn’t real.”
“Don’t make this into a thing right now.”
“That term hasn’t been used in well over a decade.”
“I can see your side eye.”
“You can take the fifth and stop telling me about it.”
“Do you know anything about faith at all?”
“I think we might be vibing again.”
“Are you sure that everything’s okay with you because I feel like maybe it’s not.”
“See, that whole “leap of faith” thing really doesn’t work for me.”
“Empathy is a wonderful gift to have.”
“I have faith. You should too.”
“I recognize your tiny footsteps.”
“Okay, that’s enough gaping at the shut in for one day.”
“I swear this is the last one.”
“Why so secretive?”
“I am very aware of what a duet is.”
“Why do I even answer the phone this early?”
“My brain does not like functioning until night o’clock.”
“What’s the good of bad news if you can’t share it?”
“I love barely meeting expectations!”
“Is it great? Feels not so great.”
“I think you’re crushing it, that’s all that matters.”
“You two would be great in a female cop show.”
“Something’s going on with you, I can tell.”
“How do you do that? Really see me. No one else has the ability.”
“I’m just not used to negative feedback.”
“Care to tell me what the hell is going on?”
“Can I take a picture? I’m gonna take a picture.”
“Uh oh. Don’t tell me you’re depressed too.”
“My body’s doing all sorts of disgusting things to me like making liquid appear in my eyes.”
“It’s too gutless, it’s too passive-aggressive. I like aggressive-aggressive.”
“I just feel like I’m failing.”
“Why do you put so much pressure on yourself?”
“Wow. I just got a window into your soul and, baby, it is not a place I wanna visit.”
“Did you know I once stared at the ocean for literally seven hours?”
“How about you lead the way and I’ll just holler if I need any medical assistance?”
“You’d tell me if you weren’t good, right?”
“So, tell me some good news please.”
“Thank you for not trying to fix me or make me feel better. Thanks for just being real.”
“Why are you smirking?”
“Sometimes I just feel like I can’t do anything right.”
“Someone sounds like they’re in a good mood.”
“The world is waiting, so am I.”
“I have no interest in hanging around a bunch of 20-somethings talking about artisanal beer all night.”
“___, this is a classy affair. Of course they’ll be pigs in a blanket.”
“Now it’s time for a makeover which is literally my favorite thing to do.”
“No matter how hard I try I just never say the right thing.”
“At least let me help you accessorize.”
“I gotta admit this is kinda fun.”
“Now they just taste like water.”
“Who do we know with a hot tub?”
“You are super fun. Like sloppy, dance on a bar fun.”
“I might also be drunk.”
“I’m a mess… and emotional… also vodka.”
“Life doesn’t always go as planned. It just doesn’t.”
“Is it weird that I want one of those?”
“Yeah, nothing good happens after someone sings that song.”
“I hate when people assume I know their names.”
“So, you’re attractive and talented.”
“I can’t believe that happened, and how quickly…”
“If there’s something going on I’d love all our friends to hear about it.”
“You should probably leave this party before you burn something else down.”
“That’s almost funny.”
“I need that thing more than you’ve ever needed anything in your entire life and I’m ready to fight you for it if you make me.”
“I wouldn’t trust myself to ride that thing sober let alone now still halfway drunk.”
“The last thing I want to hear from you is another apology.”
“I really need to be mad at you right now.”
“Are you crying?”
“What? I’m not allowed to get emotional at a superhero movie? Lives were lost, ___. Ethical questions were raised!”
“He only responds in one letter. ‘K’? Who does that?”
“Just— let’s talk about you.”
“It’s hard to accept that I can’t do this all on my own anymore.”
“Wouldn’t peg you for a food court guy.”
“We are gonna be ultra professional from now on.”
“What’s the crisis? Did I cause it?”
“Can you believe it?! ...apparently you can and perhaps already knew?”
“___, are you okay? You look paler than usual.”
“You okay? You look shaken.”
“But I feel great and I’m gonna be totally fine.”
“Can you google that for me?”
“Are you seriously hiding from me?”
“I listen to true crime to calm myself.”
“Look, we both know I’m not good with feelings or emotions.”
“Mad respect for your pun game.”
“Men don’t check on men in bathrooms, it’s not a thing.”
“Well now I know you’re telling the truth because no one would ever lie about doing something that heartless.”
“Were we ever even friends at all?”
“Real friends have hard conversations. They owe it to each other.”
“I’m gonna get deep for a hot second so bear with me.”
“Stuff like this has been going on for a while now. You wanna tell me what’s up?”
“You’re starting to seem like a liability, man.”
“What’s the point of rising if we can’t do it together?”
“Here to pour salt on my wounds?”
“It’s all coming from a place of love.”
“It is not exactly what I expected but I’m rolling with it.”
“Watch how fast I nail this.”
“Are we talking witchcraft or just shameless career advancing?”
“I’ve got a super chill brain that never needs calming, so…”
“Was I just singing out loud?”
“Am I going crazy? I feel like I am. I mean, I don’t know what crazy feels like but I feel like this is it.”
“That’s… bad.”
“Are you fine? I mean, I know you’re not fine but…”
“Can you schedule your nervous breakdown for another day?”
“In solving one problem I’ve created another.”
“I… I don’t know why that happened.”
“Okay, yes, I’ll admit I’m in a good mood but it’s for completely unrelated reasons.”
“Okay, this is getting worse by the second.”
“I apologize in advance for whatever’s about to come out of mouth.”
“I'm really sorry. Just know, it’s not me, it’s my body.”
“That’s such a strange way to phrase that.”
“There you go, now you know. Hey, that rhymed.”
“I will go to the supermarket… one day.”
“I ruined my entire life yesterday.”
“I just call that uninspired.”
“Honestly, I think I’m broken.”
“What exactly is going on here? A creative inspiration or a massive cry for help?”
“I’m broken and I’m gonna die alone.”
“How do you go through all that suffering and not let it break you?”
“I don’t know what to do. And it’s tearing me up inside.”
“Hurt people hurt people.”
“I think it’s best if you don’t look at me or worry about and focus on what I’m thinking or feeling.”
“It can be challenging sometimes, knowing the right way and the wrong way to care for somebody.”
“Well, it’s the almost-thought that counts.”
“That’s a terrible surprise face.”
“I think it’s finally time I focus on my own happiness for a change.”
“I don’t want to talk. Lord knows that we’ve done enough talking.”
“I’m exhausted. And exhilarated. And thoroughly depleted.”
“Stay aloof, reveal nothing, keep small talk down to a minimum.”
“You’ve been there for me, I wanna be there for you.”
“Don’t smile at me, I don’t wanna look at your sad, appreciative eyes.”
“What? He’s hot, I’m weak, you do the math.”
“That might be the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me.”
“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you in a hoodie before.”
“This would be a great place to murder someone, huh?”
“So, who’s ready to talk about death?”
“It doesn’t have to go down like this, ___.”
“You can only postpone the inevitable for so long.”
“In moments like these sometimes you have to haul out the big guns.”
“Someone better be dead or dying, I’m not in the mood.”
“I am worried. This is how I compensate.”
“I find you charming and disturbing, like a Pomeranian wearing a tutu.”
“I go big or go home.”
“Death is hideous and ugly and grotesque and wildly, wildly unfair.”
“Believe me, I’m not doing well but I’m not doing that badly either.”
“I guess we gotta face the music sometime, right?”
41 notes · View notes
scarlettwitcher · 4 years
Text
The One With The Lost Baby Yoda
Summary: When Pedro finds a lost kid dressed as baby yoda at a Mandalorian convention, he takes him with him, making an unexpected friend. 
Word Count: 1,703
Warnings: Fluff everywhere. It’s like glitter. It’s all over the place.
Author’s Note: You can thank @laubeck10​ for this masterpiece. This is going to be a four part set but each one can pass as it’s own oneshot. I hope y’all like it. I know it a RPF but I hope y’all like it. I’ll be tagging people I think will be interested. Requests are open so please send them in, and if you have sent a request, don’t worry, I’m working on them! As always, thank you for reading and feedback is always welcome/needed.
Tumblr media
Pedro hadn't anticipated for the convention to be as full as it was. He didn't even consider the fact that the Mandolorian was as big as it was. But watching all of the fans together, all of the cosplays, blew his breath away. It wasn't his first convention but it definitely was his first one being this big. He was so excited, he decided he wanted to completely indulge himself… by wearing the original Mandolorian armor, complete with his helmet. He felt ridiculous at first but as he walked through the crowd, being stopped now and then for photos, he felt great. Not only did he blend into the crowd, nobody realized it was him and he was able to see everything from up close. 
A few hours of exploring around, he felt a small tug on his cape. He looked down and saw nothing. He frowned slightly and stared at the floor until he saw a little hand reach out from underneath the table, tugging on his cape once more. He smiled softly as he bent down, lifting the cloth slightly. He was met with the cutest, biggest brown eyes. "Hey there buddy." 
"L-lost." The little boy's words were followed with a sniffle. Pedro looked around before looking back to the kid. He finally got a good look at him and if he wasn't worried for the kids safety, he would've found the situation pretty cute. The little boy was about 3 years old. He was wearing a brown robe and bright green ears. He was dressed as a little baby yoda. He looked up at Pedro, who was still fully dressed as Mando, and whined quietly. "M-mando."
Pedro's head whipped down to the kid. He had his hands up towards Pedro, wanting him to hold him. He sighed quietly and obliged, pulling the kid into his arms. The little boy wrapped his arms around his neck, holding on tightly. He was shaking softly. It was pretty obvious the little boy was scared. "Where's your parents buddy?"
"Lost.. Want my mommy." 
Pedro looked around the sea of heads. Some passed and awed at him and the kid. He realized then that it looked like a Mandolorian and baby yoda costume duo. He smiled awkwardly as he tried to move through the people as the little kid held on tighter. "Okay buddy, we'll find your mommy. What's your name?"
"Logan." 
"Okay, Logan. Do you remember what your mommy was wearing?" Pedro heard more sniffs and stopped, pulling the little boy back so he could see him. The little boy rubbed his eyes and shook his head, pouting. "That's okay. I'm sure we'll find her." Before he could say anything else, Pedro's phone started to ring and he reached for it, seeing Jon's name and contact covering the screen. He pressed answer, holding the phone as best as he could to his face, making it hard with the helmet on. He looked around, finding the exit of the main hall. "Hey."
"Where are you?"
"Kinda in a situation. What's up man?"
"We have a panel in 15 minutes. You gotta get here now."
"Oh shoot. I forgot. I'm on my way." Pedro quickly hung up the phone, sliding his phone back into his pocket before walking towards the exit. He looked around and followed the signs towards the panel room, going through the back. A few of the organizers were walking around making sure everything was ready. A few have Pedro strange looks as he walked in with the kid but they said nothing. Once he got towards the stage entrance, he slowly sat Logan down on top of a large crate. He reached up, removing the helmet, wiping away a few sweaty hairs. The helmet was very hot and he realized it was a very bad idea wearing it. "How are you doing buddy?"
"Okay."
"Good." One of the organizers motioned for Pedro to get ready to walk onstage. He sighed, looking down at the little boy with worry. He motioned for one of the security guards to get close before pointing to the little kid, explaining the situation. The guard understood as he waited on the side, letting the other guards know there was a lost boy, as Pedro approached the little boy. "Okay, buddy, I gotta go onstage. I'll be back."
"No! No! Mando, no leave." The little boy cried out, making a few heads turn. Pedro sighed as he looked around, trying to find any solution. The little boy whined impatiently as he held his arms out again. 
"Buddy, I gotta g-"
"No!" The little boy started crying and Pedro felt his heart sink. He relented and pulled the little boy in his arms. Logan clung to Pedro like he was his father. He cried into his shoulder, holding onto his shirt tightly. He felt the desperation waving off of the little boy and he knew he wouldn't go anywhere. Pedro nodded the guard off, knowing they would try to find the mother as Pedro got into position. As they announced him, he made his way on stage, waving at everyone as they cheered. He heard a few awes and knew it was because of Logan. He found his chair on stage and sat, being met by a few curious stares from his cast members. He shrugged before turning towards the crowd waving. "Hi everyone! How's everyone doing?"
Pedro was met by loud screams and cheers. He laughed, pulling Logan down into a sitting position on his lap. The little boy's head barely reached over the table, his little ears pointing out. After a few lighthearted bantering between his castmates, the fans started to line up to ask questions. "What's your question sweetheart?"
"So first off, I want to say I'm a huge fan of your work. You're so amazing!" Pedro blushed and nodded his thanks as Logan reached up, touching his cheek. The audiences laughed as Pedro looked down at him with a raised eyebrow. "I had a question before coming up here but now I gotta know, who is your baby Yoda and why is he so cute?" The audience laughed and cheered as the fan asked the question everyone wanted to know. 
Pedro pinched Logan's nose before looking up and smiling. "Well, I just found him a while ago. This is Logan. I was walking around the convention, and I found him under a table. He was lost and we haven't been able to locate his mother. And for some reason, he doesn't want to leave my side." A loud wave of awes filled the room as Pedro nodded and smiled. "He's adorable isn't he?" He was responded with cheers. As if on cue, Logan stood on Pedro's lap and waved towards the audience. Everyone laughed and waved back. Logan smiled widely as he turned to Pedro, pointing towards the audience. 
"They say hi! " His little voice was picked up on the mic and everyone laughed as Logan sat back down, hiding his face. Pedro found his shyness adorable as he held the little boy against him protectively. The rest of the panel went smoothly, Logan occasionally making his little comments that had everyone swooning. 
"Mando look!"
"Candy!" 
"I sleepy." 
Pedro's favorite moment was when Logan was drawing on the table as a distraction. As much as everyone loved his comments, it was taking attention away from the panel so Gina passed Logan a few papers and crayons and he got to work. He drew a picture of him and Pedro, both in costume, and gave it to him and he drew another one of Gina. They weren't Van Goghs but Pedro thought they were beautiful. They showcased his art at the end and Logan was proud of his masterpieces. Around the end of the panel, the little boy was exhausted and fell asleep in Pedro's lap, with his little hands clutching his shirt tightly in his sleep. 
Seconds after the panel ended and they left the stage, a distraught woman went running towards Pedro. He stopped to focus on her as she panted. "Logan baby. Logan, oh my god." Pedro realized that this must be his mother. He looked just like her. The little boy stirred and almost jumped out of Pedro's arms trying to get to his mother.
"Mommy!" The woman grabbed Logan out of Pedro's arms and clutched the little boy as tightly to her body as she could as she cried quietly. 
"Oh baby, you scared me so much. Are you okay?" 
"Mando protect me." The woman finally looked up at Pedro as a loud sigh of relief left her lips. She nodded softly at him before holding the boy impossibly tighter to herself. She knew this was Pedro Pascal but at the moment all that mattered was her son. 
"Thank you so much for caring for him. I hope he didn't give you any problems."
Pedro smiled widely as he shook his head. "Absolutely none. He's a great kid."
"You're telling me." The woman moved Logan's weight to one arm as she reached out with the other towards Pedro. "I'm Y/n. Nice to meet you Mando." Pedro laughed at the nickname and took her hand, shaking it softly. He loved the feel of her soft hands in his and a small blush crept on his cheeks. He cleared his throat before slowly pulling his hand back. 
"Nice to meet you too Y/n and you Logan." The little boy whipped around and looked at Pedro, smiling wide. 
"Mama I'm hungry." She looked down at the little boy before nodding. 
"Okay baby. Let's get you something to eat."
"Mando too." Y/n raised an eyebrow at Logan before turning to look at Pedro, a genuine smile crossing her features. 
"Would you like to join us Mando?" 
"I don't want to impose."
"Nonsense. I kinda owe you a lot. Lunch is the least I can do." Pedro chuckled, while rubbing the back of his neck in thought. 
"Okay. Let's have lunch."
"Yay Mando!" Logan cheered as he reached for Pedro, jumping from Y/n's arms to his. Logan held onto him tightly as the three navigated through the crowd in search of food.
Forever Tags:  @iwantthedean @authoressskr @sorenmarie87 @reigningqueenofwords @goldenolaf25 @giftofdreams @winchesterprincessbride @chelsea072498 @kitchenwitchsuperwhovian @itakeawfultoawholenewlevel @fictionalabyss @gabby913 @angelkurenai @sea040561 @sleepylunarwolf @smoothdogsgirl @carryonmyswansong @feelmyroarrrr @evyiione @sofreddie @sis-tafics @nitelotus @trexrambling  @manawhaat @mermaidxatxheart @winchest09 @ellen-reincarnated1967​ @mrswhozeewhatsis @just-another-busy-fangirl @lovebodymindstuff​ @backseat-of-deans-67chevy​ @chook007​ @akshi8278​ @evansrogerskitten​ @bringmesomepie56​ @persephonehemingway​ @blacktithe7​ @donnaintx​ @queenxxxsupreme​ @whitewolfandthefox​ @riviawitch3r​
Pedro Tags I think will like this: @thesadvampire​  @le-roman-rose @mcudisiac​ @someone-take-my-bagelseverywhere​ @chibi-liz05​ @marvel-avengers01​ @themandjalorian​ @floccodineveautunnale @jassiepoohbear @gollyderek​ @retrobhaddie​ @wolf-lover74​ @paryl​ @laubeck10​ @ithinkwehitametaphor​ @wizard-b1tch​ @domino-oh-damn​ @c-ly-g​ @rosamedina92​ @sunshinepascal​ @ariespedro​ @libellule2001​ @ohpedromypedro​ @two-unbeatable-beaters​ @menacingmandalorian​ @scribbledghost @spacegayofficial​ @ariasfandom​ @lannister-slings-and-arrows​ @sendhoots​ @stevieharrrr​ @dindjarindiaries​ @hiscyarika​ @qveenbvtch​ @forever-rogue​ @jimmythegirl​  @catfishingmorales​ @generaldamneron​ @cptnbvcks​ @swhiskeys​ @honeychicanawrites​  @thepascalorian​ @ladydahliawrites​ @roboboyjinx-writes​ @zeldasayer​ @damerondjarin​ @aint-that-a-mcfreakin-bitch​ @aerynwrites​ @mandadoration​  @absurdthirst​ @huliabitch​  @gryffindorwriter​ @ghostofthebarricade​ @astrolo-galaxy​ @siempre-pedro​ @cherryplasmids​ @madadlorian​ @sithlordmando​ @bubble-tea-bunny @beskars​ @longitud-de-onda​ @archieimagines​ @outfatuating​ @lesqui​ @inknopewetrust​ @softpedropascal​ @pascalisthepunkest​ @swimmingbyrd​ @buckyodinson​ @everstarry​  @waywardodysseys​ @paniclana​ @tiffdawg​ @siempre-pedro​ @fandom-imagines-stories​ @umbrellasandlassos​ @kingsmanstories​ @bucks-angels​ @the-real-xhorse​
321 notes · View notes
personasintro · 3 years
Note
Mimi, i adore your books and you’re doing really amazing.
For the record, i hate kiko too. I hate how she cheated and all. I hate how this whole situation kinda suffocate yn and locks her inside.
BUT
Yall need to remember that it’s just a book. A FREE one to be exact. And no one forced you to read it. Of course you have your opinion as a reader but guys, it’s not even a constructive criticism anymore. You guys are just upset that the story doesn’t go to your liking and i don’t know if i need to stress it again but FEEL FREE TO LEAVE🚶‍♀️i mean yo, first of all, it’s not even that deep. It’s just, repeat after me, A BOOK. And yes it’s only natural that when someone really loves a book they begin to overindulge by learning the characters’ behavior and everything, mad when someone dies, etc etc. But what you did by over-criticizing mimi is wrong in so many levels. I get it that you guys are so angry because kiko is being such a bitch and jungkook being just a normal person who’s madly in love with a girl, and i despise kiko too. I know some of you mentioned that it’s a “Y/N x Jungkook” ff so it should be weighing more to yn and jk interaction, and you’re absolutely right about that. I do see it lacking of yn pov privilege but this matter was already cleared as mimi explained that it is a slow burn story and things will fall into places eventually. Also guys, THEY ARE JUST IMAGINARY CHARACTERS. Mimi explaining her behaviors was because mimi IS the writer. Mimi MADE kiko and yn and even jk’s characteristics. I hope you guys are not hoping that the real jeon jeongkook from bts would behaving the same way as jk from mh. It’s up to a writer if they want to explain shits about their OC. In your eyes it might looks like someone who’s protecting their problematic friend but bestie, guess what? News flash it’s not. You can be all mad to kiko but leave mimi alone. You guys love to read right? Then try to spend your time on scrolling mimi’s page a bit, mimi already explained A LOT about what how and why kiko is doing what she does which is for all i can see is a charity for yall overly obsessed mfks. I got mad too when kiko appeared and doing her shit, i cursed too, a lot, but i kept that to myself because what? That’s the art of reading. You cry, you get angry, you laugh. I mean come on, imagine every time a writer wrote something that irritates the readers and they have to change the whole plot based on what their readers want, that would end up being hilarious and the plot would be bland af.
You might think I’m overreacting but im not doing all of this without a worthy reason, I’ve been following MH from the first chapter and I’ve read all of your ridiculous demands and just when i thought yall going to stop after mimi explained everything, you chose to be blind. So i feel like i need to step up a bit.
I write too, okay? But i never post anything on anywhere because i don’t want to deal with this kind of shit where i give people free stuff to enjoy but instead of supporting me they would rather be a bully.
Bestie, i take it that you already read all of the chapters, if it’s a paid story you’d already spent a lot. Please just think about that simple logic first when you’re going to talk shit to mimi or any writer out there.
To sum up everything: constructive criticism is okay, you can complain if there’s any grammatical errors or about how to write certain narrative, but keep your subjective opinions towards any character to yourself. Especially if the writer already explained themselves.
To mimi, i still hate kiko with all of my soul but thank you for sharing your amazing books with us. I really suggest you if they keep doing it, instead of stop writing and gain nothing in return, you could be just as petty and move all of your books somewhere like patreon and set a high charge. At least if they want to complain they gotta pay first.
Also im not writing anonymously because im not a pu$$y like all of you internet’s karen.
I'm very passionate about my stories and it was probably my mistake that I tried to make a conversation about characters and the story itself. It's okay to not like characters, it's okay to mention it when you guys give me feedback and share your reactions! That's totally fine. What I'm trying is to talk to you guys about it, sometimes share my own opinion about it but overall, I'm just trying to have a conversation and interact with you guys. I didn't think me trying to show different perspective in multiple situations means that I love Kiko or root for Kiko/Jungkook. I don't want you to think you can't share your opinions just because I've something say to it, most likely reacting to it. I mean you guys ask questions and send me asks, and I answer and react, right? This is how it should work. 
What the main problem of this entire thing is those disrespectful asks attacking me for characters I'm writing. I might be the author of it, but it's still a story I'm trying to tell. You want to get mad at characters? Okay, so be it. Be mad. But don't be mad at me for trying to talk to you. If someone doesn't like how the story is going, just don't read it. It's very simple. I've lost count how many times I already said this.
I don't cry over those asks, I don't sulk over it and it doesn't bother me the way they probably hope it does. I've my fair share of laughter whenever I read those asks because it's clear it's purely made to harass me. None of those anons couldn't tell me what is the main reason of their asks. I'm just genuinely curious what they want from me or what they expect. On the other hand, as much as I'm trying to understand them, I don't really care. I don't want any negativity on this blog and it's no my problem they keep reading a story they apparently don't like. 
But hey, I still get those reads and they waste their time to send me those asks🤡 who's the real winner here?💅
Anyway, sorry this got long! Thank you so much for this ask, you're really sweet for writing all of this!💜
15 notes · View notes
thepettymachine · 4 years
Photo
Tumblr media
Zodiac Legacy Challenge for the Sims 3
If you’re like me, I like a good legacy challenge with nice themes/aesthetics to place/plan out with each heir with enough wiggle room for creative interpretations. No. Well I’ve always wanted to do a zodiac legacy challenge but could never find the rules for TS3 or most of them were made for TS4.  So I guess I thought I would just make one then. 
This was all made on a whim but it’s a strong whim. So enjoy the whim. “@” me if you use the rules since I didn’t come up with a tag for this. 
Credit:
I like to credit @tainoodles‘s TS4 Astrology Legacy as an inspiration/base for this, as well as many others I’ve found online. 
A buttload of astrology sites
@starplumbob​ and @bravetrait​ for feedback. Thank you alot!
Tumblr media
Without further ado
General Rules:
Finish the goals provided for each sign
You can move onto the next generation when all goals are met or you maintain them until the heir has aged up or both. Up to you.
 You can start on any sign but you must go in order afterwards.
If I were to start on Leo, I would have to do Virgo next.
You can select any of the careers provided for the generation.
You don’t have to use all the traits assigned to a sign, but 1-2 are required.
You can use colors for aesthetic purposes/berry purposes, but they are not required.  
Generation Aries: The Ram  
♈︎ - Is everything a game to you? Well of course it is, you’re an Aries. First sign in the zodiac that also might be banned from playing simopoly. We admire a courageous spirit that knows what it wants, is driven, and is bluntly honest with us but can you let some of us, you know….win?! Not everything has to be a competition. Geez 
Aesthetic Color(s): Red Traits: Workaholic, Ambitious, Brave, Hot-Headed Careers: Firefighter, Athlete, Military, Sports Agent
Goals:
Excel and reach the top of their career.
Fall In love and marry their first love fast
Has to do something athletic once a week
Master the athletic and handiness traits
Have them battle someone once a week
Generation Taurus: The Bull
♉︎ - What’s wrong with a little luxury in life. Food, art, sex, and your favorite snuggle blanket made of some high cotton that was not cheap is the lap of luxury for you. You can be really stubborn sometimes but once you set your mind on something, you aren’t changing it. It’s all because you know what’s best for you and nothing else matters. Aesthetic is key but you can also be a little bit greedy with your stuff. Sharing is caring Taurus
Aesthetic Color(s): Earth Tones, Pink Traits: Natural Cook, Loves the Outdoors, Frugal, Hopeless Romantic Careers: Gardner, Cook, Nectar Owner
Goals:
Master the cooking and gardening skills
Be best friends with their future spouse before dating
Learn at least 20 new recipes
Must have twins (can have more children than that)
Have very expensive/luxury items worth more than $500 in your home (it’s all about that aesthetic)
Woohoo with your spouse once a day
Generation Gemini: The Twins
♊︎ - Wow, how does it feel to be a twin. You look every bit like each other except for your dual personalities. Charming and youthful, you both are ahead of the curve as your quick wit and curiosity keeps you moving forward in life. You have alot of skills and talents and love communicating your ideas with others. Just remember where the brakes are at , as some of us can’t keep up. Tough luck you say. 
Aesthetic Color(s): Yellow, mint green, Orange, neons Traits: Charismatic, Childish, Genius, Schmoozer Careers: Teacher, Writer, Private Investigator, Magician
Goals:
Both twins have to be heir
Have a very close relationship with your twin
Master 5 skills, including charisma
Spend most of their YA dabbling in different careers before deciding on one in their adult years.
Have multiple lovers before choosing/finding the one
Have to teach their children all of their skills and help them with their homework
Generation Cancer: The Crab
♋︎ - Why so crabby? I’m sorry had to throw that one in there. You tend to be a loyal compassionate creative person who wears their heart on their sleeve. Sometimes that sleeve might be drenched in your tears as you can be considered a little bit moody but we love you Cancer. You sense what a person is feeling and you help them through it. What a great lover and friend you are!
Aesthetic Color(s): Light Blue, Gray, Orange Traits: Nurturing, Family-Oriented, Over-Emotional, Brooding Careers: Sculptor, Daycare Profession, Resort Owner/Bed&Breakfast
Goals:
Sim must have a full relationship bar with their significant other before proposing
Have a lot of handmade items in your home
Have 5 children
Master the sculpting skill
Be best friends with all their children.
Get out of the house once a week
Generation Leo: The Lion
♌︎ - Royalty must be in your blood cause obviously you are the Queen/King and we are all just your royal subjects. With a mighty roar, you demand your spotlight and capture our attention with your spontaneous passionate heart. We follow your lead, my liege. For you will not make us forget it!
Aesthetic Color(s): Gold, Purple Traits: Snob, Brave, Dramatic, Star Quality Careers: CEO, Actor, Singer
Goals: 
Live in a mansion/large house with more than 4 bedrooms
Become a five star celebrity
Marry a big time celebrity
Go on a big dates with your lover/spouse at least once a week
New Me each week - go to the spa and change your boring outfit at least once a week
Master the social networking skill
Generation Virgo: The Virgin
♍︎ - The modest stylish Virgo is always the hardest worker that delivers the best because they expect the best. You love to serve others and always pay attention to details with such an organized perfection towards the things you do. But sometimes that perfection creates high expectations of yourself and let’s just say judgement and criticism is not your color.
Aesthetic Color(s): Green, Brown, White Traits: Perfectionist, Perceptive, Neurotic, Neat Careers: Doctor, Journalist, Bookstore clerk
Goals:
Have a part-time job, make straight A’s, and join a club as a teenager
Have a college degree
Spouse must be compatible and must share at least 2-3 traits with them.
Can only have woohoo after marriage
House must be clean all the times (no outside help is allowed)
Must learn something new every week
New Recipe, read a new book, learn a new skill, take a class
Generation Libra: The Scales
♎︎ - You’re a giant balancing act, trying to keep everything fair and just. You love being around all kinds of people and also trying to make the world a better place. As much as you are a great mediator and friend, you’re also a great people pleaser. Please take time out of your day not to be around people and just focus on you.
Aesthetic Color: Green, White Traits: Friendly, Good, Social Butterfly, Party Animal Careers: Architect, Stylist, Musician
Goals:
Get Married to a sim that is complete opposite of you, then divorce them
Remarry a more compatible sim
Have 10 best friends
Host a party once a week
Complete 3 social opportunities each week
Master the guitar, bass, drums, and piano skills
Generation Scorpio: The Scorpion
♏︎ - Ah the mystery of the Scorpio. You have an intimidating front but behind that is an emotional side only certain people are allowed to see. You’re kinda into some dark occultist stuff and you’re also secretive about things. But you’re a passionate lover that can see love as a game of trials. Just a couple of tests to make sure that this is the right person for who you can finally put your guard down around. 
Aesthetic Color: Black, Gray, Red Traits: Loner, Daredevil, Irresistible, Inappropriate Careers: Ghost Hunter, Law Enforcement (Forensics/Super Spy), Cemetery,
Goals:
You have a 3 dates policy before asking a sim to be in a relationship with you
Has at least 3 enemies (stop holding grudges)
Become an supernatural/occult sim
Master the martial arts and alchemy skills
Woohoo in 5 different places with your spouse
Do something inappropriate once a week
Generation Sagittarius: The Archer
♐︎ - Sagittarius you love your freedom and the adventures that come with it. You keep choosing the nontraditional path of life because you love to move past your horizons and set your own tradition. You’re brutally honest with everything and can tend to put your own desires above your own needs. As you constantly strive to be independent, you may grow distant from those who care about you the most. 
Aesthetic Color: Red, Purple, Blue Traits: Adventurous, Easily-Impressed, Flirty, Animal Lover Careers: Adventurer, Equestrian, Photographer,
Goals:
Max out a visa in one country (if WA is applicable)
Have 20 friends
Have multiple partners throughout their life but only commit once as an adult
Have multiple kids from different partners (one has to be from another country if WA is applicable)
Have a horse, dog, cat, and/or other small animals in the house.
Be apart of all 3 social groups (nerd, jock, rebel)
Generation Capricorn: The Goat
♑︎ - Baaahh, you’re a goat. Smart and hardworking, Capricorn, you have a “get stuff done at the expense of your health and other things for the sake of achievement and financial gain” -breathes in- kind of motto. You’re so focused on reaching the top, you forget about the other things in life. But your disciplined perseverance and patience will reward you later in life.
Aesthetic Color: Black, Gray, White Traits: Workaholic, Unflirty, Computer Whiz, Bot Fan Careers: Inventor, Bot Arena/Bot Builder, Politician
Goals:
You don’t date until you’re an adult
You don’t get married until you reached the highest point in your career
Master the logic skill and a tech skill (inventing, bot building, or advanced technology)
Have more than 25,000 in savings (without cheating)
Have your children be straight A students throughout the childhood/teen years
Generation Aquarius: The Water Bearer
♒︎  - Individualistic Aquarius runs on it’s own beat. You have a strong desire for change and evolution to come to the world which is why you have a strong sense for social justice in order to make the world a better place. You care for others and that care might cause you to create a system of prioritizing them above all other things. While love is always a nice thing, you just don’t like the idea of being dependent on each other, so it would be nice if you don’t have to commit.
Aesthetic Color: Electric/Light Blue, White, Violet, Traits: Rebellious, Eco-Friendly, Avante garde, Commitment Issues Careers: Astronomer, Game Designer, Scientist
Goals:
Master the Street Art skill
Create a Utopia for the future and get a statue in Legacy park.
Have a friends with benefits relationship with your closest friend that results with a child
You never marry
Must live an eco-friendly lifestyle. (no dryer, bikes > cars, salvage everything, grow everything)
Generation Pisces: The Fish
♓︎ - You’re a fish out of water and the last constellation of the zodiac. You’re a dreamer, creative and very intuitive which makes you empathetic and open to other’s feelings. Your symbol is two fish because you tend to constantly swim back and forth between conflicting desires and have a bit of escapism problem . You can’t help it sometimes, it just how it makes you feel. 
Aesthetic Color(s): Aquamarine, Sea Green, Lavender Traits:  Artistic, Sailor, Supernatural Fan, Loves to Swim Careers: Fortune Teller, Lifeguard, Scuba Diver
Goals:
Become a mermaid/master the scuba diving skill
Marry a supernatural sim
Master the painting and writing skills
Have 2 childhood friends and keep in touch with them throughout your lives
Thank you for trying out this challenge. Feedback is always welcomed thing on this challenge.
863 notes · View notes
every1studio · 4 years
Text
REQUESTED: “ateez x greek gods” [ateez]
genre: misc. + GREEK GOD ! AU (reincarnation version) + fem reader
ficstyle: bulletpoints + reactions
requested by @svteencarat : “ Hi! I was wondering if you still take request? If you are still doing requests, then could I ask for a greek god! ateez and a human! fem reader angst (Of course i'd like it if you can make me cry, UwU) nd that if the oneshot could have a fluff ending? Thanks! This isi my first request ever so i don't really know how to since I'm kinda new to tumblr?? (I'm literary requested this from alot of kpop au writers out there because I never see any Greek god aus, and I JUST. NEED. MORE. GREEK GOD AUS!!) “
note: I’m kinda depressed about my WayV fic so I’m shifting my attention back to ATEEZ before I get any motivation to continue that series ): + I didn’t have a lot of ideas for angst because I didn’t want them to be too long but I hope this is good?? + information from: Meet the Greek Gods & Greek Gods and Goddesses 
Tumblr media
HONGJOONG X APOLLO
Tumblr media
reincarnation of: APOLLO (god of music, poetry, prophecy, and medicine; later known as the god of sun)
in every lifetime, there is a reincarnation of APOLLO in the Kim family
Hongjoong was the present-day god of sun; there was a lot of pressure that was placed on his shoulders because of it 
but even through all the stress, he still couldn’t ignore the passion he had for music or for poetry 
or the unquenchable desire for more knowledge 
or the love he has for the sun rays peeping through the day clouds
he’s known to be the “doctor” of his friend group because no matter what problem they have medically, emotionally or physically, he’s able to help them and succeed  
Hongjoong still has the lyre that was passed down to him from his ancestors 
it’s an unusual instrument to play nowadays but that’s probably what made him stand out at the arts and music festival that held place at the college square 
the guy’s performance was a self-composed piece and he somehow altered the lyre to make it an electric instrument; a stryre 
you were working as the sounds person; so you had the honors of listening to his whole performance with no disturbance
and it didn’t help that he was so handsome
if you didn’t know any better, you thought he was a Greek god 
little did you know
you didn’t think anything of it after his performance until you felt a tap on your shoulders 
“hey can you tell me what kind of amps you use for the show today? they were really compatible with my stryre!” 
your eyes were met with his 
“oh yeah.. um.. I used my own amps for the show today, which is why everyone who had to perform had to sign a waiver.. but they’re Goldmund Telos 5000.. my uncle offered them to me for a lower price...”
the boy grabbed both your hands in excitement, “oh you know about music? are you a music major too? what’s your major? 
the way he radiated, it was like you were in the presence of the sun 
how could someone emit such energy?
“nothing fancy.. I’m in music technology-”
“you’re the T.A. for Dr. Trumbridge!” 
“you know me?” you were surprised that he knew you, then again you are the only T.A. for the most strict professor in the university 
“yeah.. you graded my paper for composition of electric instruments... you gave me a lot of feedback and I really appreciate it..” 
Hongjoong had to take that class because it was a requirement for his major in music composition 
but he began to like it 
why?
because you were there 
at first he thought you were quiet yet snobby T.A. for a strict teacher
then he received the first paper you graded for him 
there was so much care and incredible feedback; it was like he could see the true you through your grading 
after that paper, he couldn’t help but notice every little thing about you 
he slowly began to fall for you; his own version of Aphrodite  
his voice was so soothing, you forgot where you were and what you were doing for a moment 
“of course.. hey, um.. I have to get back to work, the next performance is in 5 minutes...” 
you let your hands slip away from his grasp when you realized how long you two were there, just holding hands 
“oh yeah sorry...I’ll let you get to that then...”
you nodded before turning away 
“Y/N!” 
you turned to hear him call your name, “are you free after the performances? I know the food courts are gonna be open until 1AM...so you wanna.. grab a bite?”
how could you say no to that sunny smile, “yeah sure.. uh here’s my phone number.. send me a text or something.. I’ll see you later..umm..”
“I’m Hongjoong.. go on, I’ll see you later!” he repeats 
when you had time, you checked your phone for any messages 
there was only a voicemail; you held it up to your ear 
“hey Y/N, it’s Hongjoong.. I don’t know what you like to eat.. but I hope you like Greek food?”
SEONGHWA X EROS
Tumblr media
reincarnation of: EROS (god of love) 
Seonghwa always help this friends with their love life 
but it had it’s drawbacks 
being as good looking as him; the girls would be more interested in him than his friends 
which caused riffs in his friendships 
in the end, he didn’t have any friends 
as the reincarnation of the epitome of love himself, he couldn’t help but excrete pheromones and he used that to his advantage 
he began to have an addiction with fake love; one night stands, hookups, leading girls on, 
any sorts of a short-term romance 
anything for to not feel lonely anymore
but that wasn’t enough
the void in his heart grew larger and larger, to the point where anything he tried to fill it with just fell through into an abyss 
Seonghwa was just leaving the cafe; dripping wet because he didn’t want to meet up with one of his hookups anymore and she tossed water in his face 
which made him even more hot BUT ANYWAYS 
you were in an irritated mood
you just quit your job because your stupid boss won’t advocate for fair pay for the hardworking females in your workplace
so you stormed into the cafe and tried to calm yourself down 
there was a commotion in the cafe but you were too busy getting your order of iced latte 
something about no one will ever be good enough to satisfy someone, followed by the sound of splashing water; then something about being rich and handsome will only get him so far 
on your way out, you bump your whole order onto a man that already seemed like he was soaked with water 
at first glance, he seemed like a puppy someone left in the rain 
but the more you looked at him, the more entranced you were by his visuals
you didn’t let your thoughts diverge you from dumping your whole cup of latte on him 
“sir? are you okay? excuse me, can I get some napkins?” you took some napkins from the worker and dabbed where ever you could and where ever wouldn’t get you arrested 
the guy looked at you with his empty eyes
why are you helping him?
a hopeless guy like him?
a sick-minded disappointment of the god of love?
“it’s okay.. I deserve it..” he gently pushed your helping hands away 
you furrowed your brows at him and sternly told him, “look, mister.. I don’t know what you did for you to “deserve” this but I’m just apologizing for the coffee okay?”
he was kind of taken back by the sudden sassiness and let you continue to wipe it off
“what’d you do to get in this mess anyways, handsome?” you murmured as you offered him napkins to dry his hair 
“a girl I was fwb with wanted to take it further but I told her that’s not for me... plus I have some other fwbs I don’t want to let go off...” 
he seemed kind of embarrassed afterwards, it sounded better in his head 
“oookay.. maybe you did deserve it..” you rolled your eyes in a joking manner and wiped your hands clean
you seemed different than all the other girls; sassy and quirky, independent and was probably not the type to fall in love at first sight 
“now that my business is over, I’m gonna order another latte-”
“let me!” Seonghwa said kind of loud, which caused you and some of the other people in the cafe to whip their heads towards him, “let me.. get it for you.. I mean it’s my fault you have to get another cup anyways..”
“so I can be another fwb? no thanks.. that’s not my type of relationship..” 
you took his silence for feeling shameful and felt bad, “that offer was really sweet but I’m sure I can get a free cup since everyone saw what happen..”
you grabbed the readied cup of latte and smiled at him, “I’m sure you’re not a bad person... but maybe you should think twice about being in a relationship.. any relationship. it takes two to tango.. remember that, ciao~”
and with that you left the cafe 
leaving Seonghwa collecting puddles and thoughts about the new side of love he’s never seen or experienced before 
the next day, you got a job interview with one of the most well-known companies in the whole world
you couldn’t afford to mess it up 
you entered the elevator and hit the button of the highest level of the building 
people came and left the elevator but someone REALLY caught your eyes 
it was the sad “puppy left in the rain” fuckboy; in a suit 
“what a coincidence, boy wonder. you work here?” 
he was fixing his tie, he gave you a small smile, “you could say that..”
you nudged him in the side; which caught him off-guard because he was ticklish 
��you’re working for one of the best companies with some of the best working condition, you should be more proud of your position!”
your floor dings and you adjust your lanyard, “how do I look?”
your question flustered Seonghwa, “g-great.. go-good.. beautiful..” 
that last part was mumbled but you heard it
“oh.. thank you.. well gonna go to ace my interview, maybe we’ll be cube buddies or something.. wish me luck~” 
you trotted down the hall towards the room the interview was held in; you sat for your turn, you couldn’t stop fidgeting from adrenaline 
“Ms. Y/N? we’re ready for you~” an older lady shot you a reassuring smile 
you took one last deep breath before walking in the room
you thought you were prepared for this interview..
UNTIL YOU SAW BOY WONDER, MR. HANDSOME FACE AKA THE SAD “PUPPY LEFT OUT IN THE RAIN” FUCKBOY 
SITTING IN FRONT OF THE PLAQUE THAT SAYS CEO 
oh what a time to be alive 
“so, Ms. Y/N, shall we beginning?” Seonghwa smirked as he opened your portfolio 
YUNHO X TYCHE 
Tumblr media
reincarnation of: TYCHE (goddess of chance, fate and fortune)
Yunho was bored with his life; he was bored with his riches
this was the consequence of his luck 
sure; he always won all the games at the casino, got the winning ticket to the lottery, anything that had zero to no chance of winning? he won them 
he won them all 
it was always like this; ever since he was little 
it made him kind of depressed  
he would get himself in every life-threatening situations but by a stroke of miracle, he would be saved by the bell 
people only wanted to be around him because he would bring luck to everyone around him 
so he holed himself up in his house; his very big and very empty house 
because he was sick of being used, sick of winning, sick of being lucky 
the doorbell rung; he checked his door security camera
it was probably his food he ordered 
surprised to see someone still waiting there with his food
he scurried downstairs and swung the door open
there you were, frowning at him, “Mr. Yunho? I don’t mean to be rude or out of line, but you’ve been ordering nothing but the unhealthiest options from our place.. I’m worried about your health, SO I included some healthy options.. it’s not included in your payment... HAVE A GOOD DAY!”
you hoped that he wouldn’t think too much about your kind offer 
but Yunho places his big, firm hand on your shoulder, slightly tugging you back 
“why are you worried about my health? what do you want from me??”
you turned to him meekly, “I’m NOT stalking you! it’s just that... you’re always ordering from us, at least 4 days out of 7.. and you always order the MOST unhealthiest options.. I’m assigned to this area of town and there’s not a day or time where I don’t deliver food to your house..so I suspected that you don’t leave your house often..”
you looked to him for any social cue that he was uncomfortable by you 
but he just looked sad, “no one’s... ever cared for me like that before.. people are always asking things of me, they never do things for me..”
in that moment, he caught your eyes
they were glassy and filled with worry
“thank you..” he says softly with a smile
you smiled back, “I gotta get back to work.. have a nice day, Mr. Yunho..”
“Yunho!” he calls out
“call me Yunho..”
“you can call me Y/N!” 
now that Yunho knew that you were assigned to this area, maybe it wouldn’t be weird to order more often than he already does 
to you know.. make a friend? or did you do that because you like him? but you never even seen his face until now....
you know? maybe this was just an act of kindness, right? is what he thought 
which was true, at first
but when you saw heard what he said about how no one has ever done anything for him, you wanted to change that
you went to his place the next day on your day off
you could hear the thumping sounds of his footsteps, “Y/N? I didn’t order anything.. yet... you’re not wearing your uniform..”
Yunho ears turned pink at the sight of you so dolled up; periwinkle form-fitting dress with a light denim cropped jacket and white platformed sneakers; your hair was thrown up in a messy ponytail  
“wh-what’s the occasion?”
you smiled at him, “I’m kidnapping you for a day.. you’re cooped in your big house 24/7, you’re too pale! let’s go get some sunshine and some food!”
you dragged him out of the house, “my wallet-”
“I’m paying! I don’t care what you say about “guys always paying for girls,” I’m different!”
Yunho didn’t know that his heart could feel so full, “that you are..”
maybe his luck wasn’t just catered towards riches and fortune
maybe you were his lucky charm 
YEOSANG X HERMES 
Tumblr media
reincarnation of: HERMES (god of travelers and trade, the trickster, the messenger of the gods)  
everyone would think that Yeosang is such an angel; how could he ever do anything wrong?
that’s where everyone is wrong
he is the king of tricksters; the devil on your left shoulder 
but he would never face the consequences for his actions because before anyone realizes what he’s done, he’s gone in a snap
that was the life he was used to 
that was until he came across you 
you had just moved into a new townhouse complex; a nice area 
you thought it was nice until you met the troublemaker of a neighbor
you caught him spray painting the side of your house
there was a walkway in between your house and his house, so the side of your house was completely bare 
sure it was beautiful BUT you weren’t going to live there long so you didn’t want to go through the trouble of cleaning it yourself when you knew who the culprit was 
little did he know, you were outside watering your plants
you sprayed him with water
“young lady! what are you doing to that poor young man!” the elderly lady who lived a couple of houses down was scolding you 
“ma’am he was vandalizing my house!”
“well all I see is that he’s helping you clean it, isn’t that right Yeosang?”
you turned to see his mischievous smirk turn into an angelic one
“of course ma’am, I saw some kids spraying up the place and I wanted to help out our new neighbor~”
“she probably thought you were those kids, though I know you would NEVER do something so terrible.. what a sweet, sweet boy.. you two have a good day now~”
and with that she left
you caught the guy before he had the chance to run away and grabbed him by the collar
“I don’t know who you think you are, sweetheart.. but I hope you keep your promise and clean YOUR mess..you’re not fooling me..”
Yeosang sulks as he’s scrubbing your walls 
you sprayed him with water, “whoops, I was trying to spray the wall.. must’ve slipped..”
“I’m gonna get you back...”
you sneaked right behind him
“probably wasn’t a good idea to say what your planning.. I’ll be ready.. you better count on it. now get to cleaning, sweetheart~” you said in the same tone as the elderly lady 
since then, you and Yeosang have been in childish fights to get back at one another 
everything on the lines of ding-dong ditching to stealing things from your property small things 
this went on for days, weeks, almost over 3 months! 
you don’t HATE him but you definitely don’t like his alter personality or his real one whatever it is 
it was golden hour when you saw him lurking in your front lawn, you swung the door open
“WHAT do are YOU stealing this time, Yeosang?” 
he grabs your wrist
“I’m stealing your time”
you rolled your eyes at him, “and what’s that gonna do?”
“hopefully succeed in stealing your heart” 
SAN X HADES 
Tumblr media
reincarnation of: HADES (god of the underworld) 
San lives and has lived a sad life; with each reincarnation, his life goes through the cycle of the whole story of Hades and Persephone 
only to be in a “forced” relationship that runs in clockwork 
he’s done everything to try to get away from this cursed life 
he’s chained, shackled to lifestyle of his predecessor 
but he wants to switch Hade’s selfishness into his own selflessness 
he lives in black 
he lives in chaos
he lives like how Hades would 
like his life, you are also stuck in a loop; the only thing is, you are unaware of it 
you are the reincarnation of Persephone; youthful even if you age, beautiful without any effort and brighter than any star in the sky
if he was the darkest twilight, you were the sun at it’s highest peak
San could always find you, even if he didn’t tried
it was destiny, no matter how he to evade it 
he locked himself inside his dark home; having 3 black shibas as his companions 
played chess by himself
cook meals to eat at his large and empty table
roasted his own coffee beans and drank black coffee to past time  
didn’t even watch TV
only leaving at night when the stars are brighter than the streetlights and shadows are enveloping everything in sight
he wanted you to live every life with purpose and however you wanted 
you deserve that at the very least 
he didn’t want you to be apart of his terrible life 
but there’s no way to dodge destiny, you were like a magnet
San was walking his dogs, his usual routine; same thing and everything 
until you ran into him at the corner
there was no time for an exchange of words before his dogs all trampled on you with kisses 
“Cy! Bear! Russ! get off of her!!” he tugs them off and he knew he was in trouble 
even through reincarnations, you still looked the same; the same beautiful you 
“I’m so sorry.. here..” he offers a hand to help you up but were you still playing with the dogs 
“it’s all good, it’s my fault for going not paying attention on a jog! look at your little fluffy, woofy faces~” that’s when you finally look up at him and the reflection of the streetlights flickered in your eyes 
“do I.. do I know you? you look familiar?” 
you took his hand, bewitched by his striking features, as he helped you up, “you’re probably mistaking me for someone else...”
he looks around, it’s a sketchy area for you to be jogging so late in the night
“why are you jogging so late in such a dangerous area.. there no cameras, streetlights are dim and there’s little to no one awake right now?”
you truly didn’t know who he was, but you felt same with him
you felt like you probably knew him in another life; it made you feel sentimental
“I just got a new job and my new work schedule doesn’t allow me to have the time for my daily jog-”
“so you jog at night where it’s most dangerous?!” San slightly raised his voice at you
which startled you, “I-I’m sorry...”
San took out his phone, “what area to do you live in? I’m gonna call a cab to take you home..”
“you don’t have to! I live close by...”
you waited for him to offer walking you home but the silence just prolonged longer than you expected
“you could walk me home?” you asked
how could San ever say no to you; it was like he was programmed not to 
“sure...” you led the way and he followed you as closely as he could without letting your hands brush against each other 
“I’m Y/N”
“San..”  
“do you live around here too?”
“yeah”
you tried to make small talk with him but he kept his answers short  
“this is me..” you showed him the gate to your place
“stay safe, Y/N..don’t run out so late..” he said before leaving
but you held him back, “you know.. maybe I could walk your dogs or something... so that I can feel safer.. or maybe we can go on nightly walks?” 
San turns to walk back to where you were; Cy, Bear and Russ followed him after 
“if fate allows us, we’ll meet again... please take care and be safe, Y/N.. goodnight..”
maybe destiny is inevitable 
maybe he’s miserable because he doesn’t want to force this destiny onto you and make you miserable
but maybe you aren’t actually miserable when you’re with him 
but he can’t take those chances
and he won’t 
MINGI X POSEIDON 
Tumblr media
reincarnation of: POSEIDON (god of the sea) 
Mingi was your childhood friend; a complete moody, edgy son of a gun
his personality wavered like water itself
he can be calm as a pond on a silent night or he can be as violent as a roaring hurricane 
you learned how to deal with all of his mood swings 
you thought you knew all about him 
you basically knew all about him
except for the fact that he’s actually the reincarnation of the god of moody waves himself, Poseidon
because of his mood swings, he always had a hard time with dating 
if the girls thought their mood swings were bad, they had no idea what they signed up for when they were dating him 
they all ended badly 
you felt bad for Mingi
you knew him the most
you knew how he was
you knew the kinks in his gears
today was another day, another break up for Mingi 
so the real question is, why didn’t you and Mingi ever dated each other?
you pushed feelings and thoughts to the side because, you knew that dating would be different 
he’s seen you through all your hard times and much as you have been there for him 
what if you lose him and any relationship you have with him?
so you locked those feelings away and pretended like everything was fine
except everything wasn’t fine
you began to cough petals of blue hydrangeas; the more you suppressed your feelings the worst it got
and every time Mingi was involved in another relationship, you could feel the branches curling around your lungs 
you didn’t want to go through with the surgery to get the flowers out because if you did, you would forget about the feelings you ever had for Mingi
your whole relationship with Mingi relied on those feelings; you couldn’t toss those away 
so you hid all of this from him
well, you thought you did 
“what happened this time?” you asked as you tossed him a hoodie you borrowed from him
“she didn’t like you.. so I broke up with her..” 
that reeled in some of those locked away feelings but you kept them in the back of your head and out of your heart
“it seemed like she was good for you.. I could just back away-”
“NO!”
Mingi tossed the hoodie and slammed you up into the wall
you were so startled; he never resulted into hurting you before so it made you scared 
he was never the physically violent type; especially towards people
but this was different, he was acting different 
scared to the point where tears welted up in your eyes
it made everything blurry but the sight of Mingi in front of you was still clear 
in that moment, Mingi realized what he did and remorse washed over 
“I-I’m sorry don’t cry..” he wiped your tears away; you were so overwhelmed you didn’t realized that he turned your tears into aerosolized mist 
he held your head as he caged into a hug 
your favorite hugs 
“I can’t live without you.. I don’t know what I’d do without you... even when I’m with other girls, I can stop thinking about you..”
those locked feelings that you had for him were trickling into your heart
it got a little bit easier to breathe 
you cupped his face, “Mingi..what are you trying to say?”
you needed to hear him say it with his own mouth 
“I love you, Y/N... I can’t be with you..”
your eyes wavered and your hands trembled 
“why? is it something that I did or something that I said? am I... am I not good enough for you?”
Mingi shook his head furiously, “no. no.. Y/N, you are perfect. you are everything I want.. everything that I need... but I can’t let you be apart of the life that I live.. deal with the family that I have...”
you didn’t know about Mingi’s family but Mingi never seemed to want to talk about
“this is why I have to do this.. I hope.. I hope you understand..”
he kissed your forehead and then everything became black 
when you woke up, you were in the hospital and you had no recollection of where you were and how you lived you life up until now 
Mingi was moving out of his house next to your; he had been crying because he knew about your condition
he distracted himself with other girls because he couldn’t get you involved with his family
those girls were short-term relationships to distract him from his long-term crush on you 
which worked then but it probably won’t work now
because you will never remember him 
you will never love him again 
and now he’s coughing up blue hydrangeas; but in your memory, he’ll keep it until the day he dies 
WOOYOUNG X DIONYSUS 
Tumblr media
reincarnation of: DIONYSUS (god of wine)
the sun was peeking through the window; stirring you awake
when you opened your eyes, it hit you
you weren’t in your bed
or your room
or even your clothes
you looked to your right and put 2 and 2 together
you were in the same bed as the “sweetheart” of a frat boy, Wooyoung
you couldn’t help but scream 
which caused Wooyoung to scream and fall out of bed 
“WHAT DID YOU DO TO ME?!” 
“WHAT? NOTHING! NOTHING!” 
Wooyoung was sleeping with a black tank top and grey sweatpants 
you were in his shirt and boxers for shorts 
Wooyoung stares at you as you stare back at him
“can I sit on the bed and tell you what happened?”
“only if you don’t touch me-”
“I’m not going to touch you, not without consent anyw-”
“OKAY WHAT HAPPENED?”
Wooyoung pointed to the living room which was visible from where you and Wooyoung were
“we were studying because we’re in the same literature class..” he dragged out his sentence
“uh-huh~” you motioned your hands to move along 
“you wanted a break and I brought out some wine...”
“uh-huh”
“and then you talked about your love life and you started getting out of hand..”
“WHAT?! I DON’T REMEMBER THAT PART!”
Wooyoung rolled his eyes, “you CHUG 2 glasses without even talking to me and then you started to talk about Lucas-”
“OK OK OK!” you could feel your face getting red and your head started to feel tight 
he noticed your discomfort and got up from the bed
“where’re you going” you slurred
“getting your dumdum head some water and advil”
when he came back, you were still laying in bed but you had tossed your hair up in a messy bun 
“you started to get hysterical; saying that you’re a great gal and why don’t you have a boyfriend and spilled wine on yourself. I told you to go take a shower and gave you some of my clothes to borrow..” he handed you the water and bottle of advil 
you nodded and took them from him; still embarrassed 
“you called for me in the bathroom. you showered and changed but you didn’t want to walk. complained that you were sleepy.. so I carried you to the bed..”
“you carried my fat-ass?!” you were conscious about your weight 
“like a princess..” he smiled at you
“I was going to sleep on the couch but you BEGGED me not to leave you, so I slept NEXT to you and there was a nice amount of space between us..okay? NOTHING happened..”
“okay..” you murmured
you weren’t confident in your looks and always worried about your appearance but Wooyoung didn’t care about any of that 
“Y/N.. are you okay? I don’t want to make you uncomfortable..” 
“you don’t make me uncomfortable..” you pulled the blanket up to cover your body, “I don’t want to you to be uncomfortable..by me..”
Wooyoung held your hand, “you don’t.. I hope you know that..” 
you were about to slide your hand away but Wooyoung held on
“I know what the others say about me, but that’s not me... I’m not some frat guy who goes around sleeping with other girls..or a guy who’s known for going to the bars and clubs every other night... I’m just a guy who’s too wimp to actually tell the girl he actually likes that he wants to be with her and make her feel loved and make her love herself..so...”
you felt him lift your chin up to meet him eye to eye
“will you let me get the chance to do that?”
JONGHO X HERACLES
Tumblr media
reincarnation of: HERACLES (son of Zeus)
Jongho was just minding his business
he JUST had to go to the store to get some more protein shake powder before going to the gym 
he was JUST taking off his helmet that went with his motorcycle when he heard you yelling someone to back off 
he turns to you across the street in an alley cornered by a moderately fit guys 
sure he was always saving the damsel in distress but this time was different
“ma’am are you in any trouble?” he shouts out to you and it catches the attention of the other guy
“a girl can take care of her own and take care of this fool myself..” you tried to wave him off but the guy grabbed your arm quite forcefully
“take care of this fool? Y/N.. aren’t you such a doll?” 
no words were able to leave your lips when Jongho rips the guy’s hand from you and slams his fist into his face
it takes more than a couple seconds for the guy to get up from the ground 
he glares at Jongho with terrified eyes
“this isn’t the last you’ll see from me!” the moment the guy is up on his feet he’s running
“wow.. if he was a dog, he’d be running with his tail between his legs..”
you looked at the guy who just saved you, he had on a leather jacket and his black hair was slicked back like he was in Grease 
“what are you some type of modern-day Hercules, biker boy?” you joked
Jongho gave an awkward cough, “you could say.. but.. are you okay?”
you nodded as you rubbed your arm
“a little shaken up but I’ll live..” you started to look around; you were slightly paranoid at this point
“you wanna go for a ride? we can go anywhere you wanna go” he asked as he pointed to his bike 
“in that?!” you’ve never rode anything of that sort 
he took your hand and handed you his extra helmet, “it’s a little scary at first but she drives like a dream”
weary but you trusted him, “what’s your name?”
“I’m Jongho”
“well, Jongho..” you started to adjust the helmet on your head, “I’m gonna take your word for it..” you held your hand out for him to take 
he takes it, you didn’t expect him to kiss it but he does
“what a gentleman..” you tried to hide the trembling of your voice
you hated rollercoaster or any rides of that kind
anything that involved a rush of adrenaline scared you 
but when Jongho wrapped your arms around his waist, you felt safe and you weren’t as scared  
“where to, princess?” he asks as he turns to shoot you the most adorable smile 
“know any good food carts?”
“buckle up, because I know just the place”
[ masterlist + guidelines ]
63 notes · View notes
twistytwine · 3 years
Text
No-reblogging-please.
Vent + mental health question because I need some:
So it’s been two years since I cut off an ex-friend and just a few weeks ago they messaged me out of the blue and basically taunted me. And for these two years my brain hasn’t shut up about them and because of it I get unwanted thoughts about them everyday. They used to be so intense to the point where I would get nightmares of them, but now the thoughts are sort of quieter now and the nightmares have instead been reduced to once-in awhile dreams surrounding them.
I’ve gotten... less angry, thinking about them, I guess. I’m less angry now and just kinda indifferent to it all. Like I feel upset but more in a hollowed out, empty way. Like “I feel so disconnected at this point that this is the default emotion I have to them.” I think I’m less angry because Ive told myself that we hurt each other when we were only 13. Seriously, 13, and I was just around 12 when I first met them. Of course, we still vagueposted and we guilt tripped, but after that I did my best to get better and mature. They still vagueposted instead of confronting me about things they wanted to say or whenever I messaged them about something I wanted to say. They just ignored me and went to make a venting vaguepost about it and never messaged me back until I reached out first. So no problems were solved. I was impulsive and got more impatient back then, but Ive forgiven myself for that immature behavior, especially when they were just... so fucking neglectful and talked shit behind my back. I was so happy talking to them one time but then I checked their blog and they made a vaguepost about how much they hated me. After we got into an argument, they got upset and then proceeded to vanish from the internet for 3 days without giving any warning to any of their other friends or me and expected us to not have any worries at all when they returned, like if anybody else made a mistake they’d vaguepost about it instead of telling us but when they made a mistake they’d expect us to baby them and care for them and be so forgiving and never be mad, because if we got mad and tried talking to them about it, they’d say we were being toxic and scary, even when WE wanted to tell them about something they were doing that hurt us, they ignored us and never replied and would vaguepost about that shit instead and expect us to be fine with it.
Okay, maybe I’m not that less angry than I was before. But... I’m coping the best I can. I’m not toxic anymore, like how I was when I was 12-13. I’m older now and more mature, and I’m being more healthy about how I cope. I’m still upset about how I continue having intrusive thoughts about them pretty much everyday or keep relating everything to them everyday. Like how a friend of mine might not reply to a message right away and I’ll get anxiety thinking that they’re ranting about me to someone else, or making a vaguepost about me on their blog. No matter how kind that friend is, my brain will always think, “But what if they’re like them?”
It took so long for me to get the courage to stop checking their blog after I unfollowed them because I was horrified they were vagueposting about me every single fucking day. I used a browser extension to literally stop me from going onto their blog site, and that’s all that could make me stop. It also took me so long to not cry after seeing a literal anime profile pic because it reminded me a lot of their art style.
I feel... better, after typing all this out. I might make some positive vent art later. But now I’m just... what do I do? For the rest of my teen years? Do I just... wait until all the bad thoughts go away? This all happened when we were literally 13-14 fucking years old, but... I don’t know. They hurt me and others. People say forgiving someone can make you feel better, but I don’t think I’m ready for that yet. I don’t think I am. I spent one of those years wanting to stay with them because I was convinced, “Maybe they’ll get better. They’re acknowledging how they’ve hurt people before. Maybe they’ll stop.”
But it’s kinda like watching a bad TV show. And you’re not watching it because you like it. You’re watching it because you keep saying to yourself, “It’ll get better. It’ll get better. Maybe if the audience gives the show feedback and support, it’ll get better.” But it never does. And when it’s all over, you think to yourself... “Why didn’t things get better?” They just kept hurting me, and my friend. They just kept doing it.
Because it happened when we were so young, I do wish them to have a good life. I wish them to be happy and to be okay and safe. But... what do I even do to help myself heal? I know recovery is a slow process, but... how long is it gonna take until I can live without having thoughts of them constantly haunting me?
3 notes · View notes
kaweeella · 3 years
Text
PersonA3!
Chapter 14- Whoops
Author note- I think this was supposed to be chapter 13 but I messed up a little but it’s fine.
Summery- Tsuzuru finishes his script and he gets a new confidant
A day later, Tsuzuru sees Tasuku on the street, and he has the script, but he seems busy. He’s talking to someone with light blue hair. He sits on a nearby bench and decides to look over the script until he’s done.
After a few minutes he hears “Minagi?” Tasuku stands behind the bench with the young man.
“Oh, hello.”
“...is that the script?”
“The script? What for?” The man asks.
“He wants to write for some of the companies so I asked him to write something as a test of sorts.”
The man brightens and turns to Tsuzuru. “Can I read it?”
“And you are…?”
“Madoka Ikaruga. I’m the God Troupe writer.”
“Good to meet you, Ikaruga-san.”
“So…” He shuffles a little. “Can I read it?”
“Uh, sure.” 
Tsuzuru hands Madoka the script, who starts reading through it.
“I’ll bring it back with notes.” And with that, he walks away, still reading the script.
“I- uh- wh-” He stammers.
“He’s like that. An extremely good writer, sometimes kinda weird.”
“Well, I’m happy to get feedback from such a great writer.”
“From what I hear, you’re pretty good, too.”
“Hear from who?”
“I didn’t get his name, but he had light hair, he’s a strange one, though.”
Probably Miyoshi. I thought he went home? “Right, thank you.”
Tasuku’s phone beeps. He checks it and sighs. “I’ve gotta go.”
“Goodbye.”
~~~
When Tsuzuru enters his room, he sees Kamakichi on his computer. He’s buying toys.
“I… I’d say I’m upset but I’m more impressed.” He thinks for a moment and sighs. “What caught your eye?”
They look at bird toys for a while, then Izumi steps in.
“Minagi-san, there’s someone here to see you.”
“Who is it?”
“I don’t know. Look for yourself.”
He stands up and looks. It’s Madoka. How the hell do people keep getting this address? 
“Hello, Ikaruga-san.”
“I looked over your script and I have some thoughts.”
“Wait already?”
“Yes. I think you have a lot of potential. A little rough around some of the edges but it’s good.”
“Oh, thank you.”
Madoka hands back the script. “I left notes on what you did well and where you can improve.”
Tsuzuru looks over the script. There’s so many notes it’s almost illegible.
“Thank you,” He thinks for a moment. “How did you know where I live?”
“Your friend told me. He didn’t tell me his name but he has light hair, and has a weird way of talking.”
“Right. Okay.” I’m going to have to talk to Miyoshi about this.
“You seem upset.”
“Huh?”
“You look upset.” He shrinks a little. “Is something wrong?”
“No, no. It’s nothing.” 
He untenses just a little. “Alright.”
“Tsk tsk tsk.” Kamakichi perches on the couch. “Picking on kids again, Minagi?”
“Wha-?! I’m not-”
“Really, Minagi-san, I expected better from you.” Izumi joins in.
Madoka stands there like a deer in headlights, tension returning.
“Don’t encourage this!” He says to Izumi before focusing back on Kamakichi. “I bought you things!”
“Bribes now, too, Minagi-san?”
The back and forth continues until Yasashii cuts in.
“What are you kids doing?”
“There’s only so much a guy can do around here.” Kamakichi responds.
“Well, whatever.” She looks at Madoka. “Can you stop bringing strange kids to my home?”
“He came here of his own volition.” Tsuzuru retorts. He looks at the boy, who stares at the ground, looking kind of… afraid. “Ikaruga-san, are you alright?”
He snaps to attention. “Yes I’m fine.”
“Are you sure?” Izumi asks this time.
“Yes.”
“Okay then, please feel free to tell us if something we do upsets you.” Izumi speaks softly.
“No, I’m fine, really.” He shuffles a little. “I should go, I’ll talk to Takato-san about your script.”
Madoka quickly sees himself out, leaving the four to think about what just happened.
“Listen kids, if you’re going to bring people over you shouldn’t make them uncomfortable.”
“We didn’t…” Tsuzuru starts. There are two routes he could go with this. ‘We didn’t mean to.’ Or ‘we didn’t invite him.’ But neither of those matters. He was a guest in their home and they did upset him.
“Well, he’s gone, so I guess that’s not important right now. Just keep that in mind next time.”
“Yes, mom.”
“Yes, Tachibana-san.”
“Minagi-san, help me make dinner.”
“Okay.”
~~~
After dinner, Yasashii looks over the kitchen and sighs.
“What’s wrong?” Tsuzuru asks.
“I’m gonna have to go buy groceries tomorrow.”
“I can go for you if you’d like.”
“No, that’s fine. But if you really want to help I could use someone to help carry stuff.”
“I don’t know if I’d be the best for that, but I can try.”
“Well, I’m going in the morning so you have until then to make up your mind.”
“Alright.” With that, he goes to bed.
The next morning he quickly gets ready and meets Yasashii at the front door.
“Ah, so you are coming?”
“Well, I don’t have anything else to do, so might as well help out where I can.”
“Great.”
When the two get there Yasashii starts going over the list.
“Sounds good.” He says.
“Alright, could you get the spices, rice, chicken,vegetables?”
“Can do.” Tsuzuru grabs a basket and heads off.
“Good kid.” The woman muses to herself.
The two meet up again once they’re done. Yasashii pulls something out of her basket and shows it to him.
“I’m getting you melatonin gummies.”
“Ah, you don’t need to, really.”
“No, I insist. You need a better sleep schedule and I’m not dealing with any lawsuits because you can’t take care of yourself properly.”
“I can take care of myself fine.”
She laughs. “Maybe you can, but you don’t. Now come on.”
She starts to walk away but then freezes. Time stops once again.
“I am thou,
As thou art I
Thou hast acquired a new vow.
When bonded together you shall find
The arcana of the Priestess
Your soul shall bind.”
The card has a silhouette of someone reading and the roman numeral for two on it.
Time resumes again and Yasashii continues walking.
“Alright, let’s go.”
“Right.” Tsuzuru quickly catches up to her.
The two check out and head back.
“Thank you for the help today.”
“Of course. Happy to help.”
“I knew I made the right decision letting you stay with us.” She smiles. “My instinct is always right.”
She laughs a little, but Tsuzuru thinks for a moment.
“Why did you let me stay?”
“Because you seemed like a good kid. And you know something? I was right.”
“Oh, uh, thank you, Tachibana-san.”
“Of course.” She ruffles his hair.
4 notes · View notes