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#i hope some of yall are genuinely interested in this cause i have Many Thoughts On It
bananonbinary · 4 years
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you mentioned activist!gerry in your tags and I need to know more about that.
archivist!gerry is the main Point of the fic im writing. trying to write. im three chapters in and nothing but set up has happened yet >:/
anyway. The story is, elias didnt hire a replacement archivist immediately after killing gertrude, he just moved a few possibilities to the archives before making a decision, and the eye got Restless. it’s not even human, it doesnt really “plan” or “think,” it just knows that there Should Be An Archivist and There Isn’t.
so it grabbed a willing eye-aligned avatar who’s conveniently just been sitting in storage in the skin book and is already pretty fucking far from human.
in return for doing archivist shit (like, the actual “voyeur of terror” role of The Archivist that the eye cares about, not jonah’s dumb long-con plan for the Archive, not that anyone else even knows about that), gerry gets to be an almost-real boy again. he’s bound to the institute even more than the others are, and still has his Page lying around that will definitely definitely kill him if someone burns it or w/e, but he mostly can live his life as an actual person. albeit one that doesnt really need to eat or sleep and is technically homeless b/c he super doesnt legally exist or have any money. a regular person that lives at his eldritch workplace. its fine. better than being a book.
(mild spoilers ahead if anyone cares about that, this hasnt come up in the fic yet)
archivist!gerry is a lot of fun to play with, because in addition to his canon abilities with the eye (can see when someone’s been targeted by an entity, very minor Knowing), and the normal Archivist abilities he’ll develop as he grows into the role, i’ve decided he’s also end-aligned on account of being. you know. pseudo-dead. fun end and joint eye-end powers include:
Violent and uncontrollable visions of the possible deaths of his assistants if theyre in life-threatening danger!
The ability to bind someone to an End by speaking it into existence like some fucked up greek prophet! (he can’t actually control what the prophecy is, making this pretty fucking useless for strategic purposes. maybe he’ll Bind you to die like 4 years from now, fuck if he knows)
Supernatural Dissociation where both Entities cancel each other out and his brain short circuits over things related to when he was technically dead.
its still jonmartingerry because i love all three of those relationships. one single brain cell between the three of them and jon never has it.
jonmartin is about the same as canon, altho jon isnt SPECIFICALLY hating on martin because he doesnt feel the need to punch down to assert dominance or whatever dumb shit he was doing in canon. still a “skeptical” asshole tho
jongerry is probably the slowest burn because theyre both terrified of intimacy and think its best to go it alone. thank god martin and tim and sasha are here to force them into Feelings.
gerrymartin is honestly my favorite to think about because martin is aggressively optimistic and a petty fuck, and gerry is emo and supernaturally depressed and will die for you the second you show him the barest kindness. so martin has turned being nice into an act of war, he WILL make this sadsack admit some things arent always terrible if it kills both of them.
also tim and sasha are there vibing, all 5 of them are in a sort of queerplatonic poly pile. the other three arent quite as romantic with these two but the love is just as strong and just as important.
god i was about to say tim is like everyone’s protective big brother and then i remembered theres a fucking reason he aggressively tries to fill that specific role for everyone he cares about and now im sad about both canon and my own au. enjoy your kayaking trip king, no one dies in my story.
you’d think sasha is the keeper of the brain cells except shes actually the embodiment of that xkcd comic where someone pulls a lever and gets struck by lightning and decides to pull it several more times for Science.
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burnedbyshoto · 4 years
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spiral
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— Honestly, what could go wrong when you’re lusting over your close friend and you’re locked in a box with only one way to get out? Well, not a lot, honestly.
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pairing: kaibara sen x fem!reader
warnings: smut, 18+, gloryhole, dirty talk, praise, fingering, sexual tension, reader is a pervert, quirk use during sex (spinning cock lol)
word count: 2,695
a/n: this is the second gloryhole fic ive written, but its completely different from the last time because its like not a cult fic LMAO!!! anyways, I think yall basic shouto and bakugou stans could do well to stan this class 1-b man because when I tell you he is another deviation of the two of them personality wise.... I mean it! 
day 5 main kink: gloryhole
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If you had known precisely what you had just gotten yourself into right now three hours ago, you would have laughed at yourself. Without a doubt, there was no questioning that the predicament you had concealed yourself in was one that would bring you great shame once this wall was gone, but for now, you would deal with it.
At the bitter age of twenty, having graduated from the hero department over in Shiketsu High, you had been almost shocked when you were reached out upon by the graduating class over at Yuuei, to come and join their agency. You had accepted it with caution, unsure if you could live a life paycheck to paycheck that was as new as they come. But, it was a decision you would come to never regret.
Or at least, not until right now. 
You had been on patrol with your coworker turned friend, Kaibara Sen, hero name: Spiral.
His quirk was an interesting one. A quirk that allowed him to gyrate -- spin -- every limb and ligament on his body. It caused some pretty asshole moves in close combat that not only stung with the piercing metal on his gloves but also sent you flying away. Countless amounts of times, you had pinned him only to spun around like a spinning top and slammed back into the practice mats.
You hated it.
Or well, you hated his quirk in a sensical way (note: do not attempt to beat him through a crowd, he always wins). In the nonsensical, coming of age brain of yours that had been for the most part silenced due to Shiketsu’s no-dating-policy, but as you grew fond of your coworker, frequent workout buddy and sparring partner, you couldn’t help but wonder just if… well… if he could spin his cock.
You would be lying if you said you had never imagined what it could feel like. You wondered if his cock was curved, or if it was straight. Would the veins be prominent? Too many times, when watching quirk-plot porn videos, you found your mind lingering onto his ability, which leads you to scream into a pillow, your hormones both skyrocketing and plummeting in your horror. 
You weren’t a perv, you like to remind yourself as you changed into your hero costume. It was merely a rational, human thought! Humans were curious beings, after all! Sure, Kaibara was attractive, and his voice was… so low, deep, and raspy that sometimes you would try to – NOPE NOT A PERV!
Blazing hot cheeks drummed in time with your hammering heart as you finished dressing, hoping to get out and clear your mind with helping out the community as a hero! You were a hero!
Not a perv!
Nodding to yourself in the mirror located in your designated locker, you slammed it close and left.
Unfortunately for you, or fortunately, Kaibara was already dressed in his costume and waved at you in greeting as you approached him.
“Afternoon.”
“Yeah, yeah, shut up!” you flustered, your back stiffening as you continued to stomp ahead, readying to leave the stupid agency and get your afternoon rounds done. 
You weren’t a pervert!
With three years since graduating from high school, three years of this agency having been founded, and three years of becoming friends with the esteemed and infamous class 1-A and 1-B from Yuuei, you had learned one thing for sure. This group of Yuuei students seemed to attract the worse kind of trouble like a moth to a lamp.
Without a doubt, you knew that was the reason why you had Kaibara somehow ended up in this horrible, ridiculous quirk from a child that just so happened to manifest their quirk out in the open. And of course, it would be the most humiliating shit to ever happen in the entire world of quirk apparitions.
“Uh, the mother said it’s probably the father’s quirk!” came the apologetic, nearing frantic voice of Deku from outside the steel box both you and Kaibara were trapped in. 
You couldn’t even see Kaibara’s face, and the perv in you screamed over the lack of even having his body pressed against yours! No! Nothing! As a matter of fact, there was a divider between you and Kaibara, a giant wall with a hole near your crotch area.
“I can’t believe you idiots got yourselves trapped in this!” came the amused, annoyed, and somehow antagonizing voice of Ground Zero. 
“Shut up!” you screamed back. “They looked at us, and it happened! It’s not like we touched the kid!”
“Y/h/n,” Kaibara’s voice sighed, and you felt your face ignite at the sighful tone on his raspy, deep voice. You pouted at the slight scold in his manner and felt yourself looking down in shame as he continued. “Don’t argue with Ground Zero. Hey, Deku, how we get out of this?”
The both of you were silent for some time, the outside world quiet as you waited for an answer.
“Oh, um, I don’t think you’re going to like it…” Deku’s voice laughed awkwardly from outside the box, and you frowned.
“Just tell us.”
“I-It’s uh… it’s a quirk called Gloryhole!” Deku squeaked, and just as you knew the successful and well-recognized pro hero outside of this box was undoubtedly red in the face, you felt your already warm face turn into an inferno. “I-I-It’s exactly… ohmygod!”
“The shitnerd is apparently a fucking perv and can’t finish his stupid sentence. Anyways, this quirk only works on shits like you with unresolved sexual tension and only removes after you use it,” Ground Zero’s voice barked from outside the walls.
“KACCHAN!”
“Shut up, Deku!” Ground Zero fired right back, and you could feel your body trembling at the news. Oh no, your perverted mind finally caught up to you in the worst of ways?! Although he did say unresolved sexual tension, that could totally be onesided, right? “We’ll be back in an hour, get it done, or fucking else.”
They left you, and you realized that despite your panicking pitched breathes, there was no noise coming from Kaibara’s side.
Oh no, this was all your fault! 
Oh no, oh no, oh no!
“You, uh,” Kaibara spoke softly, and you felt your hands clutch onto the fabric above your breasts. “You have unresolved sexual tension with me?”
“No,” you denied immediately, your forehead crashing against the barrier between you and Kaibara at the blatant, stupid lie. “Yes. Ugh, I do, but that wasn’t something I was planning on telling you!”
“Why not?”
“Because it’s embarrassing? What was I supposed to say when you pin me against mats during sparring sessions? ‘Hey, Kaibara, does your cock also spin? If so, can you fuck me with it?’”
You slap your hand across your mouth, eyes going wide in your panicked embarrassment. That mouth of yours was genuinely going to get your tongue cut off or lips sewn together one day.
It’s silent for a bit, but there’s a sound of clothes ruffling. The rate of your heartbeat seemed to increase exponentially as you saw something shift from the view you had of the Gloryhole. “Well, if you want to find out, I’ll be more than willing to give you a demonstration.”
The pervert you may or not be did not hesitate to respond back.
“Please?”
And you watched as his shadowed figure approached the hole, and a pink-headed cock pushed through the hole into your side. You watched with a gaping jaw at the still-growing cock before you. Without a doubt, it was more than seven inches and was glorious, gravity defyingly curved upwards. It was proud as it was thick, and you watched as the underneath of his cock scraped across the bottom.
A soft grunt strangled in his throat at the cold, rough sensation, and you watched a small, glistening bead of pre-cum appear from the slit on his head. You’re not sure how quickly you dropped to your knees, but you did know that your mouth took him on completely. Within the first drop of your mouth on his cock, you enveloped at least half of his cock in your mouth. A loud bang hit the wall, and you felt a warmth in your chest, knowing that you had already affected him.
Your lips and mouth glided against his length, your tongue pressing and lapping at the underneath of the head of his cock, trying to cock to become as hard as it could be, because it was still growing. A particular needy, near sloppy suck of yours, sent a loud, dizzying guttural noise from Kaibara’s side. A noise that sent liquid heat spilling into your cunt as your hand gripped the base of his cock, bobbing your head slowly, as leisurely as you would allow yourself.
His taste was indescribable, faint yet had you licking his length for more, trying to cover your tongue in his pre-cum. 
But the issue with a proud curving upwards cock, was that you found it awkward to choke yourself down his impossibly stubborn curve as he began to thrust his hips to meet your mouth and travel into your throat. Grunt, gasps, and growls seemed to be growing in volume and repetition on his side of the wall as you relaxed your throat, chokes, and gags sounding wet and sloppy on your side. 
“Fuck, just like that, wait up,” Kaibara moaned, a thud coming straight above your own head, letting you know that he had pressed his head against the wall. The thumping of his hips on the wall was slowly becoming musical, white noise as you bobbed your head further along his length, throat vibrating with your need to make him feel good. And the weirdest, most surprised splutter came from your throat as his cock spun in direction.
Once curved upwards, making it nearly impossible in the space to take his cock all the way down your throat, was now downcurved. It stretched your jaw out entirely as he didn’t bother to pull away to do it, and your throat stretched out in a way you had never experienced before as you coughed and staggered against his length. But, it was a pain that made your clit throb and allowed his cock to go even further down your throat.
You did what you could only do once your throat stopped hurting, and the sheer pleasure of having your throat stretched out in a more desirably wait set in: you moaned.
It was a long, pitchy noise that you swore you could feel against the steel wall that your free hand supported you against. Your toes curled at the way his intensely thrusting hips faltered for a moment, undoubtedly turned on by your noise if the twitch in his cock said anything about it. You moaned again, and again, and again. You continued to do so against his snapping hips until Kaibara was practically snarling your name with the intention and muttered promises of what he would do to you once the barrier was gone. 
Your mind was gone at the point, the promises of fucking you against the window of his apartment that overlooked the Tokyo skyline had you shoving the pants off your hero costume down. Your hand on his cock tightening in its grip, but the one manipulating your pants off, sunk into your cunt, thumb on your clit. 
A mewl left your lips as you began to play with your wet heat, and you drove your mouth and head closer to the hole, enthusiastically taking him in further and further. 
“Imma fuck you so good when we get fucking out of here,” Kaibara promised, teeth undoubtedly pulled into a snarl, his thrusting in bizarre speeds as you tried to keep some piece of sanity as you continued to finger fuck yourself, all too pleased with him absolutely using your mouth. But, you registered his words just well enough to respond back, choking an agreeing noise as you bobbed your head enthusiastically. “Had I known you just wanted that slutty pussy of yours to be fucked, I would’ve done this with you ages ago. Would’ve pinned you down on that mat, and claimed your cunt as my prize.” Your eyes rolling back in your hormone-induced euphoria, your own dirty fantasies having played that scene in your mind countless times. “I want to hear you choke on my cock more, I want to hear the saliva and drool leaving your mouth. I know you’re fucking your cunt, so do it well enough you’re moaning like a paid prostitute. I promise you, I’ll make sure you never want to see another cock again that isn’t mine!”
A choking, hiccuped, and wet breath expelled from your mouth, and you hadn’t even realized you were crying at the moment. But, you agreed, head bobbing in your agreement.
And so, it continued. 
You pushed forward, his length reaching new depths of your throat until you had your nose smashed against the metal, cold wall. Your throat manipulatively squeezing and milking his throbbing cock, tongue, and teeth rubbing against his protruding veins until Kaibara was stuttering out your broken first name. 
The wet noises of his saliva drenched cock meeting your drooling throat and mouth grew louder with every slap, and you wanted more. You needed more.
“Fuck, y/n, you take me s-so fucking good. I think you have me entirely in your mouth like the fucking little pervert you are,” Kaibara hotly laughed, a soft thudding from near your chin sending your mind in a feral daze of how it was probably his balls. “Doing so well with my directions, you really do deserve to be fucked properly after this.”
A low, lewd whine strangled from your throat, your hot, swollen lips sucking harshly against the base of his cock as he continues drilling, and the melodic moans from his mouth made it all worth the fact your lips and nose are starting to tingle from the sufficient lack of oxygen. But it’s also your curling, pumping fingers in your cunt that add onto the headrush you get, the slick and essence coating and dripping from your pounding fingers send you into a series of keen and mewls against his cock. And you can perfectly find each sweet little pleasure spot. 
You were close, and by the consistent twitching and throbbing of his cock and the thick coating of precum on your tongue, Kaibara was too.
With your impending orgasm, you felt your body begin to tense up, shaking, and moaning with the tipping sensation you loved. And Kaibara, entirely lost in his own passionate, horny endeavors, shook as he slammed into you again, again, and again.
With a fiery determination, your cheeks hollowed out on his length as he pulled out, a resonating “fuck!” screamed from his lips as your tongue swiped at the salty silt on his cock, and it was all over.
You came on your fingers with a loud, pitchy scream, and thick, hot ropes of cum spurted from his cock onto your awaiting mouth, dirtying your face slightly in his heavy ejaculation. Swallowing the cum, a shiver ran down your spine as you quickly cleaned the remaining cum on his cock. Slowly, you removed the fingers in your cunt, and you shuddered at the pulsating heat form your core as you dropped to the floor as his soft cock disappeared from the hole. 
Laughing softly, you looked up at the ceiling of the box that was slowly disappearing, allowing fresh air to enter the sex smelling box.
“So, how about dinner?” Kaibara asked, and you chuckled, running a hand through your abused face.
“I don’t think I’m hungry.”
“No?”
“You might’ve proved you can spiral your cock,” you began, turning your head to look at Kaibara, who was collapsed on the floor, barely put together as the two of you locked eyes. “But I still would like to try it out for real while you properly fuck me. After that, if I’m hungry for food, I’d love to go for dinner.”
He laughed, his hand running through his sweaty locks.
“Sounds like a deal to me.”
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jostepherjoestar · 3 years
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Can I request giorno meeting his shy half-sister (both of them are related cause DIO) and the two of bond over books.
📚Giorno and his half-sister bonding over books📚
sfw // no pronouns used but implied fem! reader
Thank you so much for requesting this! Sorry if reader turned out a bit more confident, I feel like they’d ease up once Giorno started joking around a bit. Also thank you for being patient 🥺cozy loves yall so much💖✨
“Thank you for taking up the offer; I wasn’t really sure you’d accept…” It felt a bit sheepish, standing there wriggling in your shoes, palms clammy with nervous sweat. Not quite the image you had hoped to convey to your newly found brother at your first meeting.
Well, half brother, actually. You had never even known him to exist, let alone be the head of a criminal organisation that seemed a little less devious than they’d like their reputation to let on. Perhaps it was his influence as their fresh new leader, working towards change, shaping the old crusted traditions into a cornucopia of advancements.
“No need to worry about that. I was surprised myself, I thought I’d never hear from Koichi again.” Giorno chuckled, it sounded so warm, so genuine. It eased up your tense shoulders, letting them fall back down and made you finally release that breath you’d been holding.
“Oh did something happen? He seemed very excited to contact you after he found me.” You admitted, remembering how Koichi’s face lit up when you suggested going to Italy. What a strange boy. You would have never met him, not even crossed paths once, if it weren’t for the research the Speed Wagon Foundation had been conducting.
They’d found out about your mother, the poor woman already passed on, too troubled to recount how she’d met your biological father, fear still striking her feeble heart every time your eyes met hers, a harsh reminder of her encounter with Dio. After some curt phone calls with a polite but coldly professional man named Dr. Kujoh you had learned a little about your father. The few details they provided about him already made your stomach curl in disgust.
That dark lit photograph of him had been etched into your very being but seeing Giorno, his blonde hair so remarkably resembling that of your shared father, seemed to have changed that twisted image. “Hah, I’ll tell you some other time. Come, sit down! I’ll have someone bring us some drinks.” The kindness and passion in his eyes could sway any being.
Giorno’s steel cut resolve soaked into his very core and his surroundings, his office meticulously decorated with tasteful furniture, a cohesive but still inviting nook. It reflected the impression you had of him, welcoming and polite but sure to be careful of his ruthless edge. Perhaps it was a skill you had both inherited from your father, observant eyes that saw everything, even beyond the physical bounds, the very core of others.
As you sat and waited for his colleague to return with drinks you engaged in some small talk, not really sure what the other liked just yet to divulge in further. The air seemed to have thinned, a calmer energy now flowing, a natural one as Giorno’s intent blue stare clung to every little thing you said. A certain proudness in his demeanour when you told him about how good you’d been doing in university and the friends you’d found along the way. His heart could burst at how beautifully mundane your life has been, glad to know you weren’t involved in any risky business that he knew of.
Your eyes landed on the scenery behind him when the conversation reached a lull, a tall bookcase filled to the brim with books reaching all the way to the ceiling, the light wood decorated with beautiful plant like reliefs. Curiously you scanned the spines of the carefully sorted books: Nietzsche, Plato, Descartes, Sartre and even Susan Sontag made her way on the shelves. The wide array varying between philosophy, classic literature, art, mythology and on the bottom row- having to lean forward a little to properly see- revealing a small fiction section.
You quirked an eyebrow at your childhood favourite. “You’ve read The Chronicles of Narnia?!” Your sudden outburst of wonderment infected Giorno, a soft smile gracing his features as he remembered reading them, he wasn’t only a wannabe gangster in his early teens, he loved to read as well.
“Yes I did-” Pausing as he turned to the shelves, fondly giving them a once over before returning his bright eyes to you. “There’s more fiction books, but I try and display the literature more. Can’t have my guests knowing I love Roald Dahl and C.S. Lewis just yet! I have an image to uphold.” He jested, but there was a truth behind his words, knowing he can’t let many others get to know the real Giorno, lest they use it against him. Your smile only grew bigger, chuckling at his banter. For a moment there it felt like you’d known each other far longer, that invisible connection tethering your hearts together.
“I love those books. It kinda feels like home, you know?” You added, smiling down at your hands, the warm ache of nostalgia tugging at your heart. “It does, doesn’t it. A better one perhaps.” Giorno answered in a compassionate tone, knowing just how difficult it must have been to grow up, without even knowing too many details of each others’ upbringings.
Feeling the mood dampen a little but glad your brother shared the sentiment, wracking your mind for a new lighter topic to discuss. Remembering the latest book you’d read for a university class snapped your head up again.
“You’ve read a lot of philosophy-“ You pointed at the multiple rows of authors and great thinkers. “They’re very interesting and all but, have you heard of my recent favourite; Diogenes?” You barely contained your laughter at the strange anecdotes you’d read about the cynic philosopher. Giorno raised a brow, curious to see where this little giggle fit was going. “That guy? Oh yes I have.”
“Did you know he pissed on people that insulted him? What an absolute genius!” You raised your voice and fell into laughter, the joyous sounds escaping Giorno as well, for a moment forgetting all that troubled his mind. “Maybe I should give that tactic a try at meetings.” He pondered, somehow the change in his expression made you believe that he was serious for a second.
“Man is the most intelligent of the animals - and the most silly.” Giorno quoted, the laughter slowly subsiding and that warm feeling of acceptance taking over. You were only looking to getting to know your brother more, gladly offering him a taste of normality in his turbulent life which he greatly appreciated. “Most definitely!” You beamed, feeling relieved at his wit and growing familiarity.
The afternoon flew by, chatting more about the wide array of books, sharing little tidbits and funny stories. Both still not divulging too much about the past or your parents, it would only sour the mood. At the rate you two got along, this definitely wouldn’t be the only meeting you’d have together.
The future looked a little brighter, an airy feeling of solace settling into Don Giovanna’s office, an atmosphere he won’t forget you brought in.  
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zet-sway · 3 years
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@the-wip-project day 35:
I don't know what today's question is but I gotta write a wall of text about what happened last night because holy shit
I was on the verge of falling asleep and, like I usually do, I decided to hunt for some spicy fanfics to read on my phone. I found one.
All my posts are long but this one is real fucking long. CW for touching on dub-con and injury mentioned in the type of context it probably shouldn't be.
It's time for me to admit that not only am I a oneshot writer, I'm also a oneshot reader. I am drawn to short fanfics. If I click on a chaptered fic, it's (usually) because it's rated E for smut and I'll go in with every intention of skimming it for the spicy bits. I'm not proud of this. I've avoided saying this for years because I don't want to disappoint people who work hard on their very long and well thought out chaptered stories. I have a short attention span, and I know what I want.
But anyway, last night I clicked on a fic with 5 chapters and some amount of words, around 30k? Long, by my standards, but I was tired and I just wanted something to read while I dozed off.
This particular fic hooked me in, though. I still skimmed it, but the writing was so unique in a way that made me writhe with writer's envy and admiration. Whoever wrote this had their own language - nothing borrowed - their own vision.
I guess I should tell the good people who read my posts (ya'll, seriously, thank you) that the fic in topic is called Fault Lines by Recidiva on AO3. I would link to it but uhhhh I may be using my work PC for "extracurricular purposes" right this moment ^^; so maybe when I get home I'll remember to add it.
I skimmed it - like I said above - for the spicy parts. It generally follows the plot of Bioware's canon. Thane begins as possessive and manipulative, likely uncomfortably close to dub-con for a lot of people. He kisses her and knows full well that his kiss will make her willing but intoxicated, and how he will use that to fulfil himself. But as the story progresses, he falls in love. Their relationship is what I'll call "edgy." Both of them are renegades. There's a scene where they get down in the shuttle after a fight and they're both still injured and it borders on downright unrealistic but fuck it, it's fanfic and I bought it. However their relationship develops a certain heart-wrenching tenderness. She asks him what Siha means over and over again, and eventually tells him she thinks "bitch" when he says it. But in that moment they have a playful banter, he knows full well she's probably already looked it up on the extranet, and they fall into bed together. The smut is mind-boggling.
By the time it gets to Shepard's arrest, he's taken up a place on Earth and visits her, breaks into her house arrest. There's a scene where they see each other for the first time in a while, she tells him how much she's missed his mouth and how it's not right how bad she wants him, and wants him bad enough to smother him with affection. She says something to the effect of "if you're looking to die, I'd volunteer to be the cause," implying that her lust is powerful enough to endanger his life. And it was at this moment I realized I fucked up.
It's established that I live in my own headcanon and I'm not burdened with considering the end of Thane's life as part of my fics. And the suspension of disbelief was such that I forgot he doesn't make it. So at this moment in the fic, chapter 4 out of 5, I realized "Oh shit this isn't going to have a happy ending." I skipped to the end right away, I wanted to confirm my fears.
In their final exchange, she asks him to lie to her - something that's repeated in other chapters of the story. I forget what he says, I was reading desperately, but he asks her in return to tell him something true. She kisses him and tells him she loves him, and he breathes his last breath with the lingering tingle of their kiss to carry him to the other side.
I was so entrenched in the depth of their relationship up to that point. The level of fathomless love the author conveyed, unlike anything I've ever managed to write before, but more realistic to my own understanding of love as I've experienced it. Not because they're renegades, but just the selflessness with which they feel, communicate, banter, and make love.
When I read that last paragraph, something inside me broke. That sounds dramatic but that's honestly how I would describe it. It felt like waking up from a night terror, when you bolt up in bed from a dream so bad you immediately get up even if it's 4am because nothing feels real and you're so terrified you have to get up and do something - literally anything to take your mind off it, to ease you back into reality. I put my phone down and stared into the darkness of my bedroom and told myself "it's just a fanfic, no need to get upset." And then I started to cry and I didn't stop for 30 minutes.
My husband was downstairs watching Bohemian Rhapsody and I went down there and wrapped myself around him so tight and cried. Bless this man, from the bottom of my heart - bless him - for his unfathomable kindness. I felt like a fucking fool because I was crying over fanfiction but he paused his movie and just listened while I tried to articulate how it wasn't exactly about the character death, or the characters at all, it was just the writing and how it wormed into my brain so convincingly. I felt the loss like it was my own loss. I am terrified of losing my husband. So many feelings coalesced and I realized one day I may be in that situation, kissing the man I love goodbye for the last time, never to hold him again. I'm at work right now and I'm tearing up because it's so hard.
I tip my hat to the author, but I genuinely wished I hadn't read that fanfic. And isn't it kind of funny after that grandstand I took yesterday about not wanting to write the pain of loss and grief, that I ended up reading it instead and probably fucking myself up just as badly, if not worse, than if I had tried to write it myself?
It gets worse, too. Because it got me thinking about my own writing, and how I could never hope to achieve what that author did. So I sat there crying out my painfeelings while simultaneously feeling like a shit writer and like nothing I put out matters. I got up from the couch, sat down at my PC and picked up where I left off in the Omega DLC in ME3 because video games are great for taking the mind off things. It didn't exactly help with the intensity I'd hoped for, but I managed to fall asleep, by 3am.
Fast forward to this morning. I dragged my sorry ass out of bed 4 hours later and drove to work. By some fucking miracle, no one is here right now except our field director. And I'm stewing in how this one fic really fucked me up bad, reconsidering everything. I feel like I've been put in my place.
So what changed?
Yesterday I posted about how I'm struggling to write a plotline. I know what happens, but I'm not interested in the little bits that tie it together. I want to write the romance. I think there's a way to write the plot and the romance at the same time, but it's damn hard.
I started doing this because I wanted to grow my skills as a writer, and I knew it might be more than I could chew. I'm at that moment now where I'm about ready to give up.
Even if I felt like a shit writer last night (and still kinda do this morning), I know that the stuff I've put out has value. We can't all write these epically tragic smut-romance-renegades-to-lovers tales, we'd all be sad all the damn time. There's a time and a place and - I would argue - even a need for lighterhearted fic out there. There are really no rules. I'm confident in what I know how to do.
But the plot. Fuck it, man. I think maybe I'm trying too hard to be something I'm not. I'm trying really hard to write like other people. I may have mentioned before that I saw a post about how many artists spend their time pining for the skills of others, thinking "wow, when I can draw like that, I'll have made it as an artist." That same post cautioned against this, basically saying you already have your own unique style, it's just harder to see through the lens of your own eyeballs. It's fine to challenge yourself but try to acknowledge what you do that sets you apart already. I feel like I have that something - maybe not to the extent that I wish, but I have something.
So what's the point of the plot? Why do I need to tell my readers how I cured Keprals? I'm asking myself important questions here. I like to think I've come up with ideas that no one else has, but as I said above, I don't read a lot of chaptered fics. I very well may have come to the same ideas as other writers and I'm not even aware of it. I don't know if my ideas are unique but I still arrived at them all by myself.
The challenge here - the thing I'm struggling so much with - is how to put them together with the same elegance of my fellow writers. I'm looking at you, shrios fam (yeah I'm calling you that, yall know who you are). I know I can write words, but it's like I have a bunch of pieces from completely different jigsaw puzzles and I'm struggling to make a new picture out of them. I struggle with the transitions between them.
The point here is I have to find my own way. And I have to stop taking myself so seriously. In fact this level of "seriousness" is one of the things that got me into so much angst over World of Warcraft over the last two years. At least I know how to recognize it.
I have to find my own way. I have my own things that are worth sharing. The author I read last night had a language all their own, and I have a language all my own too. Their wordplay was actually more choppy than I would ever write. I've talked before about how I'm scared of starting too many sentences with pronouns, how I maybe write too many run-on sentences, whatever. This author did that with reckless abandon. It worked for them. So if they can make that shit work, I can make my own shit work.
I have to find my own way.
My most current WIP is Thane and Shepard's first time. I've been working on it pretty nonchalantly because I hadn't intended to publish it until I built up to it. It takes place further into my timeline, and it would probably ruin the point of a slow burn if I put it out there now. There are some really memorably moments in this WIP, and there are other moments that need to be smoothed over as well. I never knew what I'd really imagined for their first time but I think I've mostly developed something that's unique in its own right, and I think will be fun for people to read.
I'm just so fucking torn over what to do with it. I feel guilty for working on it. I should be writing "other shit" leading up to it but I don't fucking want to. I actually wrote probably 2-3k words this weekend, which is a pretty staggering amount by my standards. Some of it was for this smutty WIP and some was for something I just threw together, Thane observing Shepard on Horizon and the emotional toll it takes on her. He's seeing her humanity. I don't know if it's worth it to continue but I wrote a lot of it and the words are more precise than usual for a draft, I don't know. I have so much fucking insecurity. Fuck dude. I want to write this longfic, but I don't want to write it. I want to skim to the spicy bits like I always do.
I am wracked with insecurity, of my own making. I know what I can do but I feel compelled to see this idea through. Somehow I have to find my own way.
TLDR I feel like if I don't publish something soon I'm going to burst and I don't even know what the fuck to work on first and fjslfjsojoiejrj
I would be really down for, like, a bunch of hugs and a bowl of ice cream shared over memes and fanservice.
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heyitsyn · 3 years
Text
Prove Me Wrong
M!Reader x Oikawa
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a/n: SDKLFJSLDKFJDLSKF OKAY I KNOW I KNOW I KNOW ITS BEEN SO LONG SINCE I LAST UPDATED BUT I REALLY INVESTED MY TIME INTO RESEARCHING AND READING FANFICS WITH AN M!READER BC I REALLY DIDNT WANNA GET IT WRONG SO I APOLOGIZE IF I DID SOMETHING WRONG AND I HOPE THIS ANON LIKES IT!!!
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anon:
-heres an interesting thought. what about flamboyant oikawa with a cold boyfriend😳😳
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YEYYY I FINALLY UPDATED
LETS GET STARTED SHALL WE?
okayokayokay
so in the request above
this is a m!reader
meaning you will be male in this one so hehe yep the story starts now
you are,,,
distant
and cold
but its mainly just because you were,,,
too tired to actually put in the effort of socializing
between bouncing between part-time jobs to care for your siblings and to schoolwork and book club
the mans can only do so much
so you spend most of your time in school just trying to catch up on sleep bc youre too busy studying up all night for exams since yanno
✨gRaDuaATiOn✨
unfortunately for you, your class had the famous manwhore oikawa tooru
why is that a bad thing?
well, imagine just trying to get some shut eye and suddenly, you just hear a bunch of screaming girls and it gets louder the closer the guy approaches your classroom and when he opens it,
the screams become 10x bass boosted
then imagine that with your sensitive hearing
now,,
it does bother you but it wouldnt bother you as much if he told them to leave
BUT NOOOOOO
he decides to let them in and chat with them and flatter them and continue with that bs until the bell rings
even then,
the girls in your class cant help but keep giggling at him and he always whispers in that obnoxious voice and youre just like two seconds away from ripping his tongue out
now
you dont hate him
you just genuinely dislike his way of living
and the way he talks
and the way he acts
yea see?
no hate
theres a difference
then there was that one time that you got so fed up with it that when oikawa settled on his seat and the fangirls circled him like some cult
they started talking to him all at once trying to get his attention
so it was a garbled mess of sounds and you growled, burying your face deeper in your arms because you would snap really really soon
then one girl shrieked when oikawa smiled at her and then you really just let go of all bearings
your chair made a squeak as you shot up, palms slamming against the wooden desk and your eyes glaring straight at them
‘go back to the farm, ya squealing pigs’
DSKFJLSDFKJSDFKDJS SORRY I LOVE TSUMU
this made everyone silent-even the others in the class just minding their own business
they all knew you as the quiet kid who didnt really talk much but those who did were really scared at you and the way you talked to them with such a cold and monotonous voice that they started spreading rumors about you
even absurd ones like your eyes are so cold bc youve killed so many people that you have no life and empathy left
LIKE WHAT THE HECK YOU STRUGGLED TO GET A SPIDER OUT OF YOUR SISTERS ROOM THE OTHER DAY LIKE EXCUSE YOU
but apparently they were just,,, so scared of you that when you finally got done with them and bursted out, the girls started crying
YALL KNOW THE SAYING LIKE HELL HAS STARTED WHEN THE QUIET KID SNAPS
the females run out of the room scared and the others nervously looks at you
your eyes sweeped through the room and each one of them flinched when you made eye contact with them
YES ASSERT OUR DOMINANCE M/N
the only who didnt was oikawa tooru himself
your eyes landed on him and he still had that stupid smug look on his stupidly gorgeous face and you wanted to ki-WAIT NO SLAP it off of him
‘the hell you looking at?’
you grumbled at him and he just merely shook his head with a smile
‘you remind me a chihuahua, m/n-chan. so cute when its angry’
‘HAH?!’
now it isnt a surprise to hear oikawa tooru say that to a boy bc wowza the school loves him so much that hes a bi icon in seijoh and hes such a king like who cares?
but they were surprised to see you turn red, the tips of your ears to the base of your neck were all flushed
‘see? so cute, right, everyone?’
KSDFJLSDKJFS
THE NERVE OF THIS MAN
the class didnt say anything except just put their heads down bc as much as they wanted to agree with oikawa at how suddenly hot you looked, they were too scared that you might plummet their faces to the ground
maybe thats when everyone started noticing you more
again, you were very quiet, you didnt talk much, you just sat there and listened so obviously you didnt really stand out but then that outburst made you more noticeable
you started seeing girls in your class staring at you then blush and look away abashedly
then the guys in your class started greeting you, even people in the hallways
ngl the attention you suddenly got was overwhelming
especially when oikawa seemed to call out to you all the time now
as you were walking down the stairs, hed see you and he’d shout and wave to you
‘m/n-chan! hiii!!!!’
his loud voice would make everyone turn and look at you and you dont do well with public attention so you turn red and you glare at him
‘shut the hell up, idiot. and dont call me by my first name. we’re not friends’
you turned to walk in the classroom but you looked at him again after taking a few steps
there he was
smiling and giggling with those girls
all he does is smile and giggle and shit
its so damn fake that you cant believe everyone fell for it and the worst thing is oikawa’s doing it to get everyone’s acceptance and validication
it was pathetic and disgusting
poor oikawa :(
now on to baby flatttykawa side,
he was kinda hurt by that
like how the heck are you not friends when youve been going to high school for 3 years?
sure, its only been casual greetings and him waving at you when yall made eye contact
but its still something, right?
right?
when you walked back into the classroom, tooru cant help but feel down at the declaration of the lack of friendship you had
his form slouched and his eyes trailed down but the voice of some girl brought him back to where he was and to fix his attitude
‘oikawa-san? are you okay?’
the others muttered in concern with her but they were eased when he raised a peace sign with the signature smile 
‘yep! all good!’
GOD I REALLY CANT STAND IT WHEN HE USES A FACADE TO EVERYONE BUT LIKE I LOVE HIM SO MUCH BC HES SUCH A STRONG CHARACTER THAT DOESNT BREAK AND HES SO INSECURE AND IT PAINS ME SO MUCH THAT HE FEELS THE NEED TO HIDE BEHIND A MASK EVERYDAY AND AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
truth be told,
oikawa has always noticed you
not only do you work at the one bakery with his milk bread but you also work at the convenience store that the team sometimes visits
then he also noticed you picking up your brother from the volleyball practice that takeru’s part of and he cant help but frown at the eyebags under your eyes that he always sees
he lies awake at night just thinking how you would look without those eyebags, without the sickly looking complexion, or even just the lack of life in your eyes
then during class, you sat by the window
tooru knows this bc his eyes always fixes itself on you whenever he opens that door and he has to hold in the need to hug you when he sees you sleeping on your desk
others might call you lazy
others might call you a video game all nighter kid
but they dont notice the things you do
the nervous habits hes seen from you at the times that tooru couldnt help but stare
he knew it was creepy to do it
but you were so silent
you blended yourself into the background and you made sure to stay there 
thats why nobody knows anything about you
with good looks like yours and a smart brain (he knew this from mattsun and makki being your students), why exactly were you not known?
maybe thats why it drew you to him
all his life he chased, 
but now hes the one chasing?
tooru knows that your left eyebrow lifts when sensei writes something you dont understands
tooru knows that you like to do sudoku in the convenience store while you worked
tooru knows you eat the same meal during lunch every day from the same lunchbox
and he also knows that your brother talks so highly about you from takeru
the little things your brother brags about like your ability to cook f/f or your weird ability to just assemble something without looking at the instruction manual
he notices and knows all these things about you
things that people never really even bothered to 
oikawa didnt even know he liked you until iwaizumi pointed it out during lunch
the third years liked to go and eat at the rooftop where it was nice and windy
oikawa was sitting and leaned against the tall wire fence, his eyes fixated on you down below on the bench as you ate your lunch
then you accidentally loosened the chopsticks causing your food to slip off
that made oikawa giggle
he was chuckling and giggling that the others noticed him when he suddenly went quiet
‘oi, oikawa’
makki nudged him back to them and tooru flinched before smiling at them
‘hm? so you do notice me!’
iwa glared
‘idiot. of course we do. youre laughing over there like some damn schoolgirl. did one of your fangirls posses you or something? if not, cut it out. its ugly’
oikawa shot him an offended look
‘what?! iwa-chan so mean!’
mattsun took the liberty to peer over the edge to see what he was looking at and smirked
‘eh? were you looking at l/n-sensei?’
oikawa blushed, feeling like he just got caught doing something bad
‘and what about it? im looking at you too, right now, mattsun!’
makki cackled at oikawa’s poor attempt of reasoning
‘i mean, i dont blame you. if issei wasnt here, id definitely get with him’
SEDKLFJSDLFISDKFJ MATTSUHANA YALL :”)
oikawa’s eyes wandered back down to you and he noticed you put the bento box to the side before sneezing
‘gosh, even his sneeze is cute’
he mumbled then jolted when he heard his own words 
iwa sighed
‘what are we going to do with you, shittykawa?’
‘what?! what did i do?!’
iwa’s eyes scrunched and he scrutinized his best friend
‘boke. i feel bad for that kid, doesnt know this stupid idiot likes him’
so thats how oikawa came to terms of it
he thought he was just interested and fascinated with you but he really does like you
and to be honest, he doesnt really want you to know that bc duh, you dont like him so why bother?
baby oiks doesnt interact with you much anymore bc he knows you get uncomfy with attention but he still does look out for you and decides he should just admire from afar
he will live every day just holding his feelings in for you and one day they will disappear
but today just wasnt the day
maybe today was the start of the worst yet the best part of your life
last night was particularly rough as the convenience store you worked in had a drunk person who wanted to fight with you and your manager had to call the police and it was just a mess
to add on to it, midterms were around the corner-like next week- so you were studying up for that
but your sister got sick so you were also trying to take care of her and making sure her fever was going down and her crying ever few hours about her tummy ache didnt allow you to sleep
hehehe single parent working late tingz
ALSO SHE DOESNT HAVE MISS RONA JFC
so yep haha you did NOT get any sleep
so you walked into school that morning, looking tired as hell and mad as hell but you just wanted to sleep bro
the one kid you tutor, matsukawa issei, and his friend who usually tags along, hanamaki takahiro, noticed you dazedly pass them in the hallway and poor dudes felt bad for you
mattsun actually pays you to tutor him bc he knows you need the money while taka preferred to buy you snacks and drinks as compensation
so it was normal that he had an energy drink in his bag that he was going to give you tomorrow during your tutoring day
‘oi! l/n!’
your head perked up at the call of your name and you nodded in greeting at the light brown haired boy
‘hey’
you muttered and mattsun placed his hands on your shoulder to keep you upright
‘oi, l/n, you sure you want to be here? you can go home and we can tell them youre sick or some-’
but you waved your hand
‘nonono todays an important lecture so i cant miss it’
the two guys didnt look convinced but they respected your need to be in school since they too need to be in class for midterms
‘here. at least take this’
makki placed a drink on your hand and you nodded and gave them a small smile
‘thanks’
you mumbled before wandering off
once they saw you at a distance away, makki wrapped an arm around issei to get his attention
‘ya think we should tell oikawa to keep an eye on him? make sure he doesnt keel over and die or somethin?’
mattsun stopped before nodding
‘yea thats a good idea’
SKLFJLSDKJFD NOT MATTSUHANA BEING YOUR PARENTS
oikawa was already in class when you walked in and he cant help but tear his eyes away from the girls to you as you sluggishly walked to your seat
the drop of your bag and the thud of your head meeting the desk made him worried bc you looked worse than usual
his phone buzzed and he checked it to see a message from mattsun
‘keep an eye out for your boyfriend. mightve been working late last night and yanno how he is. just watch out if he faints or something’
okay that made him super worried
totally ignoring what mattsun called you, oikawa knew he needed to talk to you
but these fangirls were the first problem
he shut his phone off and looked up at them with a grin that made them madly blush
‘ladies, class is about to start. oikawa-senpai would hate for you to be marked. so study hard for me, okay?’
like hypnotized cult members, the girls ran to their classrooms and tooru finally had the opportunity to talk to you
he stood up and walked over to your seat
‘m/n-chan’
he called out, looking down at you
‘m/n-chan’
he tried again and was about to put a hand on your shoulder when your hand snatched it
‘dont touch me, oikawa’
you grumbled and tooru furrowed his eyebrows
‘m/n-chan, i just wanted to ask if youre okay’
he whined and you didnt bother to look up but just let go of his hand
‘i was until you came over, idiot’
ouch
tooru was thankful that the teacher came in then and there bc he didnt know how to respond to that
he wanted to brush it off but it hurt him a little
and he knows he shouldnt entertain his crush on you but he couldnt looking at you and watching as you got up to use the bathroom 
as class went on, oikawa was starting to worry
now again, hes no stalker bc his observation skills were just phenomenal due to volleyball
so he noticed that youve been in the bathroom for like 20 minutes now
DONT JUDGE US, OIKAWA. WE’RE JUST TRYING TO PUSH OUT THE BIG PIECE OF-
okay nevermind
anyways
tooru, worried that something happened, raised his hand to go and use the bathroom and the sensei wasnt exactly paying attention so he just let him go
thank god he has long legs bc he was able to reach the bathroom quick and he stifled a shriek when he saw your passed out form inside
‘M/N-CHAN!’
he yelled and he cursed when duh you were alone and who knows how long youve been there
and ew bathroom floors is bleh
you were in no way light but you werent exactly heavy either so he was able to muster up all his strength and hoisted you on his back
tooru’s heart thrummed in his chest and he knew it couldnt be that serious but he cant help but think of the worst
and yep
the nurse just told him that your heartbeat was okay and you were snoring so you mustve been exhausted by the dark circles in your eyes
‘keep an eye on him for me. i have to tend to midoriya over there. the kid broke his arm again and i dont know how’
she grumbled at the end but tooru didnt care as he sat on the chair next to your bed
he sighed before laying his head on the cot by your hand
his eyes settled on your face and how peaceful it looked
gosh, you really were so cute
your personality just sucked ass
constantly telling him to shut up and calling him idiot
hmph
not long after oikawa fell asleep, you woke up and cursed, immediately realizing you fainted and you missed class
as you were going to rub your eye, there was weight on your hand and you looked down to see a head full of brown hair that could only belong to a certain someone
a certain idiot
‘oi. oikawa, wake up’
you shook his head and when he didnt budge, you just pulled your hand from under him making him jump awake
at first, he was confused
looking around like a lost puppy and his eyes bleary
yea it was cute and what about it
then he noticed you sitting up and he smiled
‘you feeling better, m/n-chan?’
he asked, leaning close 
but you placed your hand on his face to push him away
‘yea. and stop leaning so close, idiot’
you grumbled and he whined
‘youre so mean, m/n-chan! i was so worried about you!’
he complained and you rolled your eyes
‘i didnt ask you to be, idiot’
SLDKFJSDLKFJKL M/N IS SO MEAN WHAT THE FAK
oikawa frowned
‘i cant help it. i like you, m/n-chan’
you froze, looking at him with scrunched eyebrows
then you chuckled dryly
‘yea, okay sure. im okay now so you can go to class’
wOW OIKAWA DESERVES BETTER WHAT
tooru was taken aback
‘wh-what? thats it? after i just told you that i liked you?’
you blinked at him
‘what do you want me to say about that, oikawa? how do you want me to react? im not like your fangirls, squealing and shit’
your words cut deep in him and oikawa held your arm
‘no wait a minute. what do you mean by that? do you not believe me?’
‘who the hell believes something that’s fake?’
there was a snip in your tone and oikawa knew you were talking about this facade of his
‘what? i-’
‘you think i believe you? you telling me you like me? do you even know who you are?’
you asked and tooru sniffled, eyes staring at your chest
‘for years, you told people what you wanted them to hear, regardless if you meant them or not. not once have you ever told them no. who the hell accepts chocolates when they dont even like them to begin with?’
at that last part, oikawa snapped up to meet your eyes
‘how did you know’
you rolled your eyes
‘our brothers are friends, idiot. he gave him some of the chocolates you gave to takeru since the brat couldnt eat them all’
oddly, that brought some warmth in tooru’s chest
so he wasnt the only one who knows the stupid stuff
but you continued on your rant
‘for a guy who doesnt like sweet stuff, youve accepted their nasty treats all the time, like why? oh, wait i know why, because you want them to like you. it doesnt matter if-if this-this persona of yours isnt real because as long as they like you, you dont give a fuck. isn’t that true? am i right? because please, prove me wrong’
maybe your dislike for him came out at that tangent and you half expected him to cry but you were surprised when he glared at you with teary eyes
‘i will. ill prove you wrong, m/n, that i do like you and i will make you like me. ill make you like me with the real me. i swear.’
‘mhm. okay. sure, oikawa’
do you regret it?
i mean,,,
kinda?
but not really?
because you loved watching the girls faces fall when oikawa rejected their treats the next day
you were walking to class when you noticed him with his cult by the entrance and you saw him smiling at some girl before gently pushing away a can of cookies
‘gomen. i actually dont like sweets that much anymore. if you want, you can give me milk bread?’
you stopped and oikawa caught your eye and he grinned
you nodded in greeting before continuing to walk
but he noticed a small smile on your face and gosh oikawa sighed like a lovesick fool
it took iwaizumi to finally send him back and his fangirls were looking at him worriedly
‘could you be less obvious, shittykawa?’
rip iwaizumi hajime in episode 546546546 of daily adventures of oikawa tooru
you noticed that oikawa has started to become distant with his fangirls and hes been sticking to you during lunch, leaving behind the others
makki and mattsun looked like proud parents as they peered down over to you flicking oikawa’s forehead and they smiled
‘god, that kid deserves this’
‘hah? that sounds like more of a punishment to me. but i dont care. it takes him off our hands for a while’
IWA I SWEAR HES SO MEAN BUT HE STILL WUVS TOORU SO ITS OKAY
oikawa would pick your brother up and take him home when youre too busy to go get him yourself and sometimes, he even takes your little sister too which causes them to have a mini sleepover and you sleep there too
also, whenever youre working in the convenience store, tooru would buy sandwhiches and a drink just for you so you can eat them while youre on break and not have to waste money and you told himyou dont want him spending money on you but he doesnt wanna hear it
‘i dont want you buying me-’
‘ssshhhh dont. im doing this because i want to and becaus i care for you, m/n-chan’
overtime, 
yea
sure
youve started to like him
youve started looking forward to seeing his stupidly cute face and his stupidly cute giggle
you went to his games and gave him a tight hug when hes about to play as a ritual for good luck and you would open your arms for him wide whenever he wins
then he didnt
against shiratorizawa, you noticed how he was so disappointed
even as you walked home with him, he continued to smile and tell you how good his team played
until you couldnt take it anymore
you pulled him over to some alleyway and you pushed him to the wall
DSKLFJLSDKFJLSDFJ WOW WHAT
oikawa nervously fiddled with his jacket and gave you a shaky smile
‘m/n-chan, what are you-’
‘tell me what youre feeling right here, right now. no bullshit, no lies, tell me everything in that pretty head of yours’
you deadpanned and tooru looked away
‘im fine’
‘are you lying to me, tooru?’
your voice was even but he could tell you were serious
he gulped before taking in a shakey breath
‘im fine. so stop asking about it!’
he exclaimed and you sighed
‘listen, i know its not official yet but you want me to be your boyfriend right?’
tooru flinched before he flushed at the word ‘boyfriend’ 
then he nodded
‘as your boyfriend, you have to lean on me, tooru. i dont want you to hold it to yourself because i wanna be there for you and i want to go through everything with you because i,,,,,’
you stopped and hesitated, debating if you should say it or not
‘because i like you, idiot’
you confessed and swallowed thickly
oikawa met your eye and his eyes watered
‘im so angry! im so disappointed! but i know my team did their 110 percent! we’re just not strong enough! so its not their fault! but ushijima is such a freak and hes too strong and its not fair!’
he complained and he cried loudly
not once in the 3 years of knowing oikawa have you seen him cry and you were so proud of him for being able to trust you enough to show him being vulnerable
you rushed forward held him close to your chest
‘for what it’s worth, you looked so incredibly hot and cute playing’
you whispered and pecked his neck 
of course oikawa couldnt hold his surprise at the feeling of your lips on his neck so he squealed a little
you gigled and continued holding your boyfriend close, even if it was at some nasty alleyway
yall became official and ngl, they didnt see this coming
some nobody dating the grand king oikawa tooru?
what in the wattpad?
yall know that tiktok of like ‘guys you cant dm me anymore. i have a girlfriend now. what else? and i love her’
IF YALL DONT KNOW IM SORRY
but you totally made oikawa tell his fangirls that
YOU KNOW THE FUNNY THING?
when yall became official, you actually gained your own little fanclub
maybe its because you gained clout from your boyfriend but they started noticing you and wowza you were hot
before, it was you getting jealous over tooru but now, it was him getting possessive of you
hes such a brat that he sits on your lap before class and youre just all smirking and feeling all good bc your baby is so cute when hes jealous
YOU CANT DISAGREE THAT HE DOESNT RADIATE UKE ENERGY
but all oiks has to do is pull down your collar and expose your purple littered collarbones and they will know who you belong to
theres a reason why iwa-chan is now the kids babysitter
youre still kinda cold and distant to people but youre soft for your baby and you always hold him close when hes in sight and you just cant get enough of him
:’)
also!! 
your sister loves dressing you up and oikawa has his sisters makeup and they both do your makeup and you guys have tea party with the boys and just the cutest domestic stuff
you still call him idiot though
but like affectionately yanno?
and over the years youve turned it down to dummy
and ngl tooru loves it when you call him that
what in the dumbification-
because he knows that equivalent to babe from you and he absolutely just loves you lmao
youre def the more quieter and calmer one in the relationship like you absolutely dont react much
while tooru is the overreactor and hes very animated with his facial expressions and stuff
like the one time
he was cooking some chicken pasta and you cheekily grabbed a piece of chicken and he made a dramatic gasp
‘*le gasp* oikawa m/n how dare steal a piece of chicken!’
you cackled before crossing your arms at the sight ofyour lover with his pursed lips and hands on his hips
‘excuse you. its more of you who’d take my last name’
it was so easy to make him flustered and tooru quickly turned around to tend back to the food but he was really just hiding his red face
‘b-baka. thats not going to happen’
‘not if i do it first’
you shrugged and smirked, wondering if he will fall for it
and as expected with oikawa tooru
‘yea okay sure’
‘i will!’
‘prove me wrong, m/n-chan~’
‘turn around right now’
oikawa rolled his eyes playfully before turning with a smile
‘what are you-*le gasp part 2*’
his hands covered his mouth at the sight of you there in front of him, kneeling on your knee tightly clutching a silver ring between your thumb and index finger
your heart was thrumming in your chest but you gulped and smiled
‘i win. now marry me, dummy’
oikawa screamed
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a/n: sorry if this sucked booty :((( but i just really like the thought of uke oikawa and just him with a cute boyfriend for a change like please we all know oikawa is a bi king and thats on docosahexaenoic acid
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motherjoel · 4 years
Text
Leading Lady (Spencer Reid x Reader)
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chapter five- multitude of realizations
wc: 3.2k
summary: you realize your true feelings for Spencer
a/n: hope yall like! this is one of my fav chapters haha
chapter index: chapter 1, chapter 2, chapter 3, chapter 4
-
As you walked back into your dressing room, you couldn’t help the smile on your face. Sure, there was a murderer after you, but this crush you had on Spencer was honestly just as exhilarating. You had come to terms with the fact that you had a crush on him when you were watching Gilmore Girls earlier on Netflix and he was making commentary on the characters and the books Rory was reading. When he spoke, you were more interested in what he had to say than in the actual show. Although the two of you had only known each other for a couple days, spending all of your time with him had bonded the two of you in a way you hadn’t experienced in months. Once inside the dressing room, you made small talk with your fellow cast members. 
“So, Y/N, when are you and Matt gonna hook up? I’m getting bored, I need a showmance,” said Caroline, the actress who played Fantine.
“Ah, I’m sorry but the Y/N ship has sailed! I’m actually seeing someone now,” you said with a smile, the words feeling genuine.
“Oh my gosh. Spill!” yelled Caroline.
“Well, his name's Spencer,” you shyly told her and the gathering crowd of your female castmates. “He’s staying with me for a little bit while he’s in town, he’s actually here tonight!” you told them as they squealed. 
“We have to be introduced!” Caroline shouted, and you laughed.
“Okay, okay! I’ll point him out to you during mic check but that's all until after rehearsal,” you said with a grin before sitting down at your mirror and beginning the makeup and hair process. 
-
After finishing getting ready, you headed out to the stage for mic check. You waited for a couple minutes with the girls, pointing out Spencer for them to gawk at and whisper to each other while he was mindlessly focused on a thick book. As if he felt the prying eyes of your cast, he looked up and shot you a smile and an awkward wave before focusing back on his book. A few minutes later, Matt walked on stage, slightly out of breath and not in his costume. You could overhear him talking to your director, apologizing for his lateness. Once he noticed you he greeted you with a tight smile and walked over to you, the girls whispering on the other side of the stage, still pointing at Spencer.
“So, a boyfriend, huh? Didn’t think our Y/N could pull it off,” Matt said in a teasing way.
“Wow, news gets around here pretty fast,” you replied, looking up again to Spencer at the back of the auditorium to see he was already looking at you. He seemed a little off… you didn't want to assume he was jealous but you were talking to your cute costar so maybe he was just getting a little too deep into his role of boyfriend. Your exchange with Matt was brief, your director wanted to get the show started as soon as possible. Once John called for places, you snuck back around through the lobby to sit with Spencer. You sat down next to him and he greeted you with a smile.
“Hey Spence, sorry that took a little longer than expected, our Marius was a little late,” you explained. You noticed he didn’t reply- he was just looking at you with a goofy smile. “What?” you asked.
“O-oh I’m sorry, it's nothing,” he said, a blush creeping on his face. “It’s just, not many people call me Spence,” he confessed.
“Oh! I’m sorry, did you not want me to call you that? It’s okay I can jus-” he cut you off.
“No! No, it's really fine. I… like it,” he said, looking down and twiddling his thumbs. As the pit orchestra began to play the opening number you settled into your seat with a smile on your face. The two of you watched the first couple songs, Spence occasionally whispering facts about the history of France in your ear and each time he did you smiled and nodded, occasionally asking questions but mostly just basking in the moment. You noticed that you had to go on soon so you excused yourself and ran into the lobby to head back to your dressing room.
Once you got inside you rushed to make sure you were ready to go on. As you frantically checked your makeup and looked for props, Caroline, who’s character had already died, started to talk to you.
“Girl, that boy is in love with you already,” she said, focused on the bag of chips in her lap. This made you stop everything you were doing.
“Im sorry. What?” you asked, not sure if you were hearing her right.
“I said what I said! Let me tell you, while I was trying to die on stage, I kept getting distracted by the two of you being all cute back there! The way he looks at you… i’ll just say, if someone looked at me like that, I wouldn’t let them go,” she said nonchalantly. Obviously she didn’t know that Spencer sharing your feelings was news to you. You couldn’t deny the chemistry, but you thought you were just imagining his lingering glances and soft smiles. It excited you as much as discouraged you, though. Falling for one of the FBI agents in charge of your case just wasn't right! And if he were to reciprocate those feelings, he could get in trouble at work and that was the last thing you wanted. You didn’t have much time to dwell on this, however, because you were about to go on stage.
-
As you acted and sang your heart out, you kept taking glances to see Spencer’s smiling face in the back of the auditorium. As your biggest song, On My Own was coming up, your nerves picked up a little bit- it was your moment alone on the stage and you couldn’t help it. As the opening notes began to play, you took a deep breath and sang.
And now I'm all alone again
Nowhere to go, no one to turn to
Without a home, without a friend
Without a face to say hello to
And now the night is near
and now I can make-believe he's here
You always resonated with these lyrics. You often felt very alone and it was difficult for you to open up to others. That was, until Spencer came along.
On my own, pretending he's beside me
All alone, I walk with him 'til morning
Without him, I feel his arms around me
And when I lose my way I close my eyes and he has found me
When you and Logan, your ex that you used to live with, broke up, you felt really hopeless. You tried not to let a man decide your happiness, but the two of you were long term and he had helped you through your father's passing. When he moved out, every waking moment was spent missing him.
And I know, it's only in my mind
That I'm talking to myself, and not to him
And although, I know that he is blind
Still I say there's a way for us
There was no way that someone like Spencer liked you. You didn’t feel worthy of it. You didn’t think you deserved to be loved, much less even liked, but even you couldn’t deny that there was chemistry
I love him, but when the night is over
He is gone, the river's just a river
Without him, the world around me changes
The trees are bare and everywhere the streets are full of strangers
That feeling of comfort that you had grown accustomed to around Logan returned when Spencer started to sleep on your couch. You didn’t believe in love at first sight, but this wasn’t that. It was an opportunity for a deep connection, something that you wanted to build on. Not some cringey story about mommy and daddy meeting eyes across the room and falling right then and there. Sure, Spencer was pretty much just your type looks-wise, but when you talked to him you just appreciated him as a person.
I love him, but every day I'm learning
All my life, I've only been pretending
Without me, his world will go on turning
The world is full of happiness that I have never known
 You were over Logan. You didn’t realize until now that you had been sulking the past few months because of him, but there was a new light in your life. As you began to sing the last few lines, you made direct eye contact with Spencer, tears brimming in your eyes. These tears were real, caused by a multitude of realizations. 
I love him
I love him
I love him
But only on my own
Shit. You really liked him.
-
After what felt like years, you had changed back into your clothes and took off your makeup, anxious to see Spencer and to hear his opinion on the show. You were trying to slyly sneak out of the dressing room before Caroline grabbed your shoulder and whipped you around. You sighed, knowing what was about to happen.
“You’re not getting off this easy! You said I could meet your new beau and I'm not leaving until I do!” she said with a smirk. You sighed, anxious at this being the first time you and Spencer really have to put on an act as “lovers”.
“Fine fine, just come on,” you sighed, leading her to the lobby where Spencer was waiting with his book in his hand, facing the opposite direction and talking to someone. Talking to… Matt. Oh jeez. You picked up your pace so you could greet Spencer, tapping him on the shoulder. He whipped around and when he saw you, his face broke into a joyful smile.
“Hey! You were amazing!” he exclaimed as he pulled you into a hug, genuinely excited. This surprised you but it didn’t take long to melt into it. Matt cleared his throat next to you and you let Spence go with a blush.
“Sorry. Spencer, this is Caroline. She plays Fantine,” you introduced the two. Spencer waved hello, not making a move to shake her hand. You wondered why, but you ignored it. 
“You were really great too!” he told her.
“Thank you! So, this is the famous Spencer, huh? Y/N was telling us all of the hot goss about you two,” she said with a smirk.
“Hot goss?” Spencer said with an inquisitive look, you elbowed Caroline in the ribs.
“Uh, anyways we should get going,” you said, trying to usher Spencer out the door.
“Hey hey hey, not so fast!” said Matt, you cursed at him under your breath. “Our Y/N finally gets a boyfriend and we don’t even get to see them kiss?” he asks, a bit of a harsh edge to his voice. You didn’t think he was mad or jealous at first but this behavior was a little weird.
“Now why do we need to do that?” you asked with a harsh tone, Spencer tensing up beside you. You felt bad that he was in this position.
“I mean.... I kinda wanna see it too…” said Caroline, you elbowed her again. Spencer leaned down next to your ear.
“Y/N, it's okay. Kissing is actually safer than giving someone a handshake, the amount of pathogens that pass is staggering,” he whispered. This spouting of facts only made you want to kiss him more, but you really didn’t want to make him feel weird.  
You sighed and turned to face Spencer, placing a hand on his cheek as he leaned down. You felt really guilty, you couldn’t believe that your first kiss with Spencer wasn’t even real or voluntary, but you didn’t want to seem suspicious. He closed the final inches between you two and you both shut your eyes, savoring the few moments your lips were together. He melted under your touch and it seemed like the world stopped spinning for a few seconds. You pulled away and looked him in the eyes, a soft smile on his lips as he straightened out. You had a goofy smile too before realizing your anger for the two dummies next to you.
“Happy?” you asked them harshly before grabbing his hand and leading him into the cool outdoors. No matter the temperature outside, your face was burning.
“I am soooo sorry, they're so annoying and i jus-,” you begin to profusely apologize before he cuts you off.
“Y/N, it's okay! R-really. I knew that pretending to be your boyfriend might lead to something like this,” he reassured you, slightly nervously. You sighed in relief and the two of you silently began your walk home, both trying to hide the smiles creeping on your faces.
-
You unlocked your door while laughing at a joke Spencer was telling about existentialists and lightbulbs. Honestly, it kinda went over your head but his pure joy after telling the punchline was enough to make you smile. 
“Thanks,” he said, looking down. You were confused.
“For what?” you said, still smiling at his joke.
“For laughing at my joke. The last time I told it, all I got was silence and looks of confusion,” he said, embarrassed. “B-but, if it makes you laugh, I know it's good,” he said, more quietly. Your heart could burst.
“Well, no problem. And, hey, if this whole FBI thing doesn’t work out, at least you know you have a career in comedy!” you joked, and he laughed, accidentally knocking your script off the table. The two of you bent down to get it at the same time, hands brushing. You apologized to each other and laughed it off, before Spencer just grabbed it. You both stood up as he placed it on the table. You stood in silence for a minute, both contemplating that moment, but it didn’t last for long once you heard the familiar sound of Spencer’s phone ringing. 
“What's going on Morgan?” he asked after picking up his phone. As he listened to Morgan talk, you could tell that he wasn’t saying ‘Great news Reid! We caught the crazy guy! Now go sweep Y/N off her feet!.’ In fact, as Spencer’s face fell, you could tell it was the exact opposite. He hung up the phone and began pacing around your small apartment.
“What is it, what's going on?” you asked, panic rising as you followed his pacing. 
“There's been another victim. I need to get down to the station, it's pretty late so I can try to get someone to stay here with you, let me just ca-” you cut him off.
“I don’t mind coming with you to the station, I might be able to help,” you offered, already grabbing your purse.
“Are you sure? We might be there for a while,” he warned. 
“As long as you guys have a coffee machine, i'll be golden,” you smiled, despite the situation. He nodded and grabbed his messenger bag filled with files and stormed out the door, you followed him down to the car. Wordlessly, he hopped into the driver's seat, you in the passengers and the two of you sped off to the station.
-
You entered the station and were greeted with the expected hustle and bustle. You were glad for some familiar faces, though. Morgan walked over to greet you two, looking surprised but glad to see that you had come along too.
“Hey guys. Good to see you, Y/N,” Morgan said, resting a hand on your shoulder. You felt Spence stiffen besides you, but you brushed it off. “Reid, Hotch needs you to look at some crime scene photos with him and Prentiss. Y/N, would it be okay if you talked with JJ and Garcia on video chat in the break room? She’s gonna do some background checks on anybody you came into contact with recently. We’ve looked at everything, we’re willing to do anything at this point,” he said, seemingly desperate. 
“Of course, anything to help,” you smiled, waving goodbye to Spencer before heading to the break room where JJ was talking with Garcia already on video chat.
“Well there's our favorite thespian!” said Garcia through the screen, you could hear her smile.
“Hey Pen,” you laughed and sat down across from JJ. 
“How was your rehearsal?” JJ asked. You couldn’t help but smile, thinking about your “exchange” with Spencer.
“It was… good. Really good,” you told them, honestly.
“Hmmm.., it seems like there's something you're not telling us,” hinted Penelope. It was incredible how these people could so easily read you already, and Pen wasn’t even a profiler. You had felt immediately connected to them, though, so you didn’t mind it.
“Ugh, okay. Don’t freak out, or at least let me explain before you freak out, but… Spence and I… kissed,” you confessed. JJ looked shocked, Garcia was already begging for details.
“Listen! It was because of the cover we have going, I told my castmates that he was my boyfriend and this one guy basically demanded that we kiss and I didn’t wanna seem suspicious, so…” you trailed off. JJ’s surprised face morphed into a big smile. 
“Um, okay! First of all, kinda icky that that guy forced you to kiss, but besides that… how was it?!” Garcia asked, with even more energy if possible.
“I don’t know! It was… just for the cover. But, it was nice,” you blushed and the girls squealed. You continued, “I don’t know, Spencer’s just really great and I've only known him a couple days. I felt bad that he had to kiss me,” you confessed, still feeling a little guilty.
“I’m sure he didn’t mind the kiss from a pretty girl, especially if it was you,” said JJ.
“What do you mean, especially if it was me?” you asked, and JJ looked like she didn’t mean to say that.
“Ugh, okay I shouldn’t be telling you this, but I have a feeling Spence is crushing on you,” JJ told you, your mouth was agape. 
“Y/N how could he not! You’re gorg, talented, and a damsel in distress! I mean you're a strong independent woman who doesn’t need a man, but guys go nuts for that savior stuff,” Garcia explained and you laughed.
“I guess that's good,” you said, your smile faltering slightly. “It’s not like we can really do anything about it, though. I mean, wouldn’t he get in trouble or something?” you asked.
“Maybe, but we’re always rooting for his happiness, and you might be it. We wouldn’t want to get in the way of that,” JJ said, sweetly. You had to take a minute to process this. Once you had, you decided to move on to the background checks, forgoing the gossip for now. 
-
The background checks had taken a couple hours, especially because of the occasional gossip break, but everyone you mentioned seemed to be clean. Exhausted, you found an empty desk and curled up onto the chair, resting your head in your arms on the desk. You were drifting off to sleep, almost unconscious when you felt the warmth of a sweater on your back and a kiss on your head.
-
taglist: @mcntsee, @diesinspanishbcimhispanic, @chickens-are-life, @rexorangecouny, @ceeellewrites​
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missingrobin · 4 years
Text
Unconditional (part one) Hope
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part 2
Description: Love. Lies. Heartbreak. A recipe for disaster. When you move to Riverdale you have to face your dark past and a possibly hopeful future.
Pairing:Sweet Pea x Reader, Jughead x Reader 
Warning:language, mentions of death, drugs,violence, underage drinking (just don’t get triggered)
Word Count: 2127
A/N: Hi my loves this is my first fanfic and I’m so excited to dive into this series with you. I poured my heart and soul into this so please give it a read I’m so proud of it. If you have any questions don’t hesitate to send me an ask.
The night was finally starting to set in. Owls called  in every direction. Violent  trees shook their leaves. On a long paved road Y/N was driving to start her new life in Riverdale…
Your first stop was at a large bar on the wrong side of the tracks. You knew immediately that this was the rough part of town by the trailer homes that marked the road and the motorcycles lining the bar. It was obviously a bad idea to stop at this bar but you had no choice. It was either this or get stuck in the copious amounts of rain pouring down.  Even though the rain was not ideal for this situation you couldn’t get over the sweet smell and the dewy weather, it was the best . As you pulled into the grimy parking lot you noticed tall figures standing in front of the bar door, The figures were wrapped inside jackets marked with a snake. You parked your 2008 Mustang Bullitt and got out. The heel of your boots clattered loudly as you  walked toward the figures, you were automatically met with force. One of the taller boys moved toward you with purpose; he flicked a switch blade from out of his jacket pocket and pressed it against your chin. You weren't phased though you had your fair share of violence in your life and you knew that if it came down to a fight you would be the one walking out. The tallest boy quietly spoke with fiery passion.
“What are you doing around here pretty goulie,” questioned the boy.
Confusion marked your face you’d never heard that term before. 
“I’m sorry asshole but I don’t know what the hell a goulie is,” you replied. 
The boy obviously knew you weren't a goulie by you parking your car in their lot and walking over alone but he was testing you to see if she could handle it.
“Well if you’re not a goulie then who the fuck are you?”
Behind the boy you heard an older man call out.
“Sweet Pea what the hell are you doing just bring the girl inside I’m sure she doesn't mean no harm.”
The boy who was called Sweet Pea was obviously annoyed that the older man corrected his behavior. A look of irritability washed over his face and he rolled his eyes and put the knife away.
“Follow me princess” says the one called Sweet Pea 
You flash a quick and passive aggressive smile toward him and walk through the bar doors. The bar was awfully dark inside. Pool tables were scattered around the floor and with many people surrounding them, dart boards were in use and other people resided at the bar where a short girl with pink hair stood and made drinks for thirsty patrons. It looked as if she flashed you a smile on your way in. When you finally stopped looking around you came face to face with a tall dark haired man with the same leather jacket on.
“My name’s FP Jones I’m in charge of this bar, who are you and why are you in our part of town, girl?”
You took slight offense to this since you were turning 18 in 3 weeks and You’ve been on your own since you could remember.
“I’m Y/N,  I’m new to town and I was just trying to find a place to lay low till the weather calmed down if that’s alright with you,” you said with a slight snark in your voice.
That response amazed FP and all of the other members of the Serpents because no one ever dared come in their bar and talk to them like that. They immediately knew they liked this girl.
“Hey is it alright with yall if Ms.Y/N stays?” FP hollered
“Hell Yeah” responded most in the bar except Sweet Pea.
Sweet Pea had been glaring at you since you stepped out of your car. He didn’t trust this interesting new girl that just happened to step foot in his bar.  
The crowd settled and Y/N took a seat at the bar where the pink haired girl greeted her with a smile. 
“HI I’m Toni Topaz,” 
Hi I’m Y/N L/N, What's his deal?” you ask as you point to Sweet Pea who has been glaring at you  for the past 20 minutes.
“Oh, Sweet Pea has issues with new people.” Toni sighed 
“Well he needs to get over himself I didn’t do shit to him.” you spit rapidly 
“Hey girl chill I know don’t get all worked up, lemme get you a drink” Toni replied trying to ease your obvious anger.
The whole drive here has been a shit show. First you ran into some trouble with a gang on your way out of California, then you lost your keys for 20 minutes when they were just in your cup holder, now this. All you wanted was to start a new life away from the gangs, the lovers, and the danger but somehow you’ve already fucked that up by landing in this shit hole.
“Strawberry Daiquiri please,” you finally came out of your hase of thought and emotion.
“Alright, anyways what's going on with you Y/N what's your story?” Toni eyed you 
A tear rolled down your cheek, you quickly wiped it away so she wouldn’t notice but she did.
You broke into everything that you’ve been holding inside. You were definitely scared to say these things out loud but talking about it lifted a weight off of your chest. By the time you were finished with your drink you had told Toni your whole life story. The good. The bad. And the very very ugly. You even told her about the night you lost your parents and little brother in a car crash and the night you left for Riverdale to escape your fucking psycho ex boyfriend Nico You didn’t realize that a tsunami rolled down your face but at this point you didn’t care you were done with lies.You didn’t know why you trusted her but you just did you knew that she wasn’t as judgmental as the girls in California.
“Holy Fuck Y/N” Toni exclaimed 
Toni jumped over the bar and came to give you a huge hug. You wanted to keep your strong bad bitch persona but all of the shit you’ve been dealing with came crashing down in that moment. 
“Bad bitches cry to Y/N it's okay there’s nothing to be ashamed of,” Toni whispered as you continued to cry on her shoulder.
“I’m sorry Toni I don’t know where all that came from” you whimpered wiping the tears from your face. 
Mascara smudged all down your cheeks. Toni looked up at you and giggled. You took out your phone to look at the damage you had done. You giggled as well
1:11 am your phone read
The rain hadn’t slowed at all so you came to terms that you would be spending the night at the bar. You didn’t care that your makeup was fucked so you just continued talking to Toni like nothing just happened. 
“Hey you know if you need anything I’m always gonna be there for you” Toni smiled and grabbed your hand.
“Thanks Toni I really appreciate it.” you remarked 
“Where are you gonna be staying for the time being” Toni questioned
“Well I was just going to rent a room at that bed and breakfast up the road till I could find a place” you replied.
“If you want you can stay with me, I have my own trailer over by that road into town” Toni remarked
“Wait are you serious?”
“Yeah I’m serious dork.” Toni replied with rolling her eyes 
“Yes oh my god yes that would be amazing!” your whole mood perked up with the thought
“Okay great cause it gets really lonely not having another girl around.” Toni sighed
“Wait, you don’t have any other girl friends?” you questioned
“Nah I don’t, but I have Jug, Sweet Pea, and Fangs and now you I guess haha.” 
You really liked Toni. You trusted her immensely. She was kind and genuine from the start. You both chatted the night away at the end you were basically best friends. Toni caught glances from other serpents as you laughed loudly. She also explained all the Serpent and Goulie drama that you’ve stepped foot in. You were hella anxious what this new city would bring and who it might bring along but you were ready to face anything head on.
Then suddenly Sweet Pea walked over to you and Toni.  
“Hey Y/N I’m sorry for giving you such a hard time. I just don’t take it well when new people just start showing up.” Sweet pea sighed 
He was obviously gorgeous and you’re type but that doesn’t change the fact that he pulled a fucking knife on you.
“It's fine” you replied coolly 
“Alright then.” 
Oh you were sure that you didn’t like this asshole but you were just going to get used to him.
You continued your conversation with Toni and learned secrets that she hadn’t told anyone. You told Toni about Nico and your relationship with him and how manipulative he was.
“I met him a few months after my family's accident, he was the kindest and sweetest person I had ever met. He took care of me when no one else was there for me. I fell for him immediately. I was always a hopeless romantic but with Nico it felt like it was instant. He had the most beautiful hazel eyes, he looked like he was carved by the gods but there was one problem he was a possessive crazy drug dealing psycho. He didn’t let me go anywhere and once when I was talking to one of his guards he screamed at me and ordered his men to get rid of him. I never saw him again. After that I knew I had to get away by any means necessary, that night I went to his safe and stole a shit ton of drug money, I grabbed all my personal items, and I got the hell outta there.” you finished your story
You didn’t realize that the bar had gone silent while you were telling your story. You looked up to find all eyes on you and everyone was in shock. 
“Holy fuck” you heard some man exclaim. 
FP came to the front to talk to you.
“Y/N we’re all here for you, As long as you’re with the serpents you have protection no one’s gonna fuck with you.” FP said with complete confidence 
“They’re dangerous FP and Nico’s a fucking maniac he will look for me and when he finds me he’s gonna kill anyone who trys to stop him” you said sadly 
“We’ll worry about that when it comes, for now just get settled in town are you in school?” FP asked 
“Yeah I am I registered at South Side High yesterday, and I have a job interview at Pops on Monday.” you responded 
“Forget pops you can have a job here if you want it would be a hell of a lot safer.” FP remarked combing back his sleek black hair with his hands.
“I’d love too thanks FP” excitement rolled over your body
You were so confused why people were being nice to you it was odd after all the months of torture you just went through. Life was finally starting to work out somehow and you were so thankful for it. Love and support surrounded you, a feeling that was lost 7 months ago.
People started slipping off to sleep all around the bar. Toni drifted to a slow slumber on a couch near a FP was off somewhere talking to his son and you were left to your own devices till the brutal Sweet Pea graced you with his presence. 
“Hey Y/N” he mumbled, taking a seat right next to you at the bar.
“Hi Sweet Pea” you were still annoyed about his behavior but you were way too tired to be pissed off at the moment.
“I’m sorry for being such a dick I didn’t know your life was that fucked haha” he laughed quietly 
“It’s okay not many people do.” you replied 
You broke into conversation with Sweet Pea. The sun came up and the rain slowed, your new life was finally starting and with a bang. You napped to prepare for the new adventures ahead. Will there be love? Will there be loss? Will Nico come for you? Will you make it out alive? 
Who knows I guess you have to continue reading to find out ;)
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roguish-gallery · 4 years
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Did you ever make that joker tier list, I always like seeing what people think of all the different ones. Though if they put Romero last I can no longer respect them.
LMAO I DID! I think I’ve made it kind of obvious in this blog but I... don’t... particularly... care... for... the joker.... unless he’s, y’know, fun to watch. Cause he’s a clown, and clowns are supposed to be entertaining. But since you politely brought it up, and and because I have a deep respect for mutual Romero-lovers, I guess this would be a good time to explain my rankings and just discuss my general thoughts on each clown:
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General Thoughts:
For the most part, I don’t really care for the Joker. This is hardly an uncommon opinion here on tumblr, but I definitely fall on the side of the fandom that feels that he gets too much attention from DC. I get WHY they use him so often for films and comics, and I don’t have anything against *most* folks who consider them their favorite Batman villain, but at this point he’s used more for shock value and as a crutch instead of anything interesting. Like, instead of giving attention to the other Rogues, writers (at least for the comics) will try and make up some bullshit story that they can shoehorn the Joker into, ‘cause it sells. It’s tiring, and I feel like the character has lost his meaning; I can only read so many stories about the Joker, I don’t fucking know, wearing a suit made from dead babies and Jason Todd’s flayed corpse before I get sick of it.
I’m at the point where I’ll like any Joker who’s just fun to watch. I genuinely respect those who prefer darker interpretations of the character, but that isn’t me; I vastly prefer the lighthearted takes on him, because... at this point... writers who use the “cleaner” version of him tend to be more creative, since they actually have to write a Joker story that doesn’t rely on gore/torture porn.
TIER ONE:
Joker Baby: Self explanatory. Joker Baby is thematic, thoughtful, and intense. Everytime I watch this video, I shiver with fear and pleasure; something primal in me awakens whenever Joker Baby runs his fingers through his spray-on dyed hair, and ends up smearing green paint on his forehead- it represents the inner turmoil, the chaos, that resides within the disturbed body that is Joker Baby. Nothing can ever hope to top the artistic and cultural impact Joker Baby has had on society.
TIER TWO:
Batman Ninja: I genuinely believe that Batman Ninja is one of the most fun, organic, and creative things to come out from the Batman side of DC comics in like... hmmm... a decade, maybe (I could talk for hours about how much I love this movie but that’s something for a future post). This Joker is easily, and unironically my favorite interpretation of the character, period. I love his energy, his design, everything. This is the most fun I’ve ever had watching a Joker on-screen, and for that I’ve gotta give the film credit where it is due.
Batman ‘66: I looooove Caesar Romero. Batman ‘66 in general is one of my favorite pieces of Batman media, and I absolutely adore this Joker. The show is pure, genuine fun, and it’s nice to turn my brain off and watch a show where the entire cast was allowed to goof around. This Joker is just a cute, goofy little clown-man who likes to commit crimes, go surfing, turn Gotham’s water reserve into gelatin, and have wild orgies with Penguin, Catwoman, and the Riddler. I massively appreciate the hustle. I love his little mustache and his facial expressions. I’d give him a chaste little kiss on the cheek if I could.
The Batman: EXTREMELY CONTROVERSIAL TAKE BUT. I think TB!Joker is better than what people will give him credit for. I can only imagine how stressful it must have been to be the first Batman cartoon to follow BTAS and the writers for this show knew they were gonna be fucked no matter what they did with the Joker, so they just decided to try something completely different with him. Personally, I appreciate the new direction- he has a fun, unhinged energy. I’ve placed him higher than BTAS/BTNA!Joker simply because The Batman was the show that got me into the Rogues in the first place, and I’m just a bit closer to this Joker because of it. Also his vampire form was cool as FUCK in Batman Vs. Dracula and the scene where he gets drenched in blood at a blood bank is fucking awesome.
Batman the Animated Series/The New Adventures: Everyone loves BTAS’s Joker, and I’m no exception. Mark Hamill is fucking great, and the writers clearly knew the character well enough to create a version of him that can be fun and threatening. As an aside, I unironically like his redesign in BTNA- I remember Hamill mentioning somewhere that he thought it was neat that this Joker looked more like a shark (I’ll see if I can find a source on that... I think he said it in an interview with Kevin Smith?) and I kinda agree with him. the redesigns in the final season are hit or miss, but I didn’t get why so many people bitched about the Joker’s new look.
Batman Unlimited: Hear me out... Hear me out... Clown... funny... and cute... He wears a little crown and gives Solomon Grundy a little smooch on the cheek and it is as delightful as it sounds. Yes the Batman Unlimited films literally only exist to sell toys but that doesn’t mean I can’t enjoy them on some ironic level.
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TIER THREE:
Lego Batman: He’s a gay icon. He has the range. Enough said.
White Knight: This is just a genuinely good, original take on the character, and the art in White Knight is absolutely gorgeous. 
Arkham: My friends and I joke that this Joker is basically a more unhinged version of BTAS! Joker and... yeah. I’m glad Hamill and Paul Dini got to fuck around with the character more, but I never really dwelled on the Joker parts of the games like I might have for other characters. I definitely liked him the most in Arkham Asylum, as he was more fun to watch. Arkham City was fiiiiine, but I think I replayed the game so much that I kinda got fatigued with everything about it. Genuinely hated his part in Origins, and I was pissed that he stole the attention from Black Mask and Bane (who’s the best fucking part of Origins IMO). I’ll admit that I... Haven’t... played... Knight yet (I have it on PC but my laptop is too wimpy to run it) but like... He’s dead at that point, so I’d assume he isn’t the main point of that game anyway. I love Mark Hamill and the fact I can personally beat the shit out of this Joker, so he’s ranked up pretty high for those reasons.
TIER FOUR:
Batman ‘89: TBH this Joker should be a rank higher, but I’m too lazy to hop onto PicsArt to change it. NIcholson was an excellent choice, and I apprecaite how this Joker makes use of the playful and unhinged aspects of the character. Also, his outfits are cute, and I love the museum scene.
Brave and the Bold: Technically this Joker SHOULD be ranked higher since he’s literally based on the more lighthearted comics in the 60′s but... ehhh... I haven’t really watched BATB so I don’t have any strong opinions on the show and how it handles the character. he’s ranked this high through beause I appreciate what they were going for.
Golden Age: The quality of comics are always subjective, based on the creative team behind them. Some I’ll like more, others less so, It’s kind of hard to rank the pre-52 comic version of the Joker because of this.
TIER FIVE:
Killing Joke: Read it, didn’t care for it. I acknowledge how massive the impact this comic had on... everything, but just because I recognize how important this graphic novel is, doesn’t mean I have to like it.
The Dark Knight: Ledger did an excellent job with the role, but uhh... I’m kind of sick of the alt-right chuds who are out there sucking this Joker’s dick. The fanbase definitely ruined the character for me.
TIER SIX:
99′: Eh
Endgame: No
Suicide Squad: NO
Death of the Family: Hate him. Despise him. Lame stupid dumb little edgy bitch.
Gotham (Jeremiah): I don’t particulary care for Gotham in general, but the only reason I ranked this Joker over Jerome is beause I thought it was kinda funny to see that they made him a little rat-man, and I liked watching all the fujoshi on here cry and complain that they can’t ship this version of the joker with the pre-pubescent Bruce Wayne in the show bc he’s too ugly.
Gotham (Jerome): stop shippping this freak (who is fucking eighteen years old) with a literal twelve year old child. what the FUCK is wrong with yall.
UNRANKED:
The Joker (2019): I don’t plan on watching this film, nor will I ever. I know this is ironic, coming from someone who runs a Rogue blog, but stuff that focuses primarily on a character’s deteriorating mental health makes me reaaaaallllllyyyyy anxious (it’s kind of a phobia) and considering that I don’t particularly the Joker, I have no reason to watch something I know will only give my dumb ADHD-ass intrusive throughts.
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auburnfamilynews · 4 years
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Chuck Cook-USA TODAY Sports
Time to Barn Hard
Here we go... With under 24 hours until the kickoff of Auburn’s 2020 season, the luminaries here at College & Magnolia offer their sage opinions on what Tiger fans will see tomorrow afternoon. Most of us see a close contest destined to give us that all too familiar fall Saturday heartburn but there are a few brave souls who are prepared to barn hard no matter what.
Auburn (-7.5) vs Kentucky (O/U 49.5)
2019 Auburn fans won’t recognize 2020 Auburn. Bo Nix is going to take a huge leap forward. His receivers are healthy for game one. Our fearless leader has finally found someone he trusts enough to manage playcalling duties. The defense will reload with All-Conference (and maybe All-American) talent. A talented (and deep!) group of hard-hitting running backs. Pre-season optimism has overwhelmed pre-game jitters for me. Look for Chad Morris to show off all his weapons Saturday. He has a tendency to put up a lot of points in his first game at a new school. Brace yourselves, Wildcats. Let’s barn hard, yall.
Auburn 48
Kentucky 14
-Josh Dub
I was talking with a friend of my wife’s the other day and she asked how I thought Auburn would do. I was raised by an old school Auburn fan who taught me to sandbag and say that we were just hoping that everyone buckled their chin straps correctly and that they just had fun out there. That was met with my wife telling her, I always do this. I responded by saying that I just lower the bar so that, when they win by 40 in a game I don’t expect, I get the rush of being a kid again and genuinely happy when Auburn wins.
That said! HERE WE GO!
Auburn has got stars everywhere on the outside and in the backfield but a bunch of green horns on the starting line on offense, so IF Chad Morris (or Gus if he is still calling the plays) can use quick screens and....this route called a slant...to hide the fact that the Auburn offensive line will look a lot like the French army circa 1938, then they might buy a few chances for Anders to kick some field goals.
On defense, you don’t lose D Brown and Marlon and get better. You probably don’t maintain the production you had last year on the D-Line. You can get back there, but that takes time and experience. That said, I am a bit more bullish on the defense as a whole. There is a ton of talent to go around on the line and the secondary and the Linebackers may be the best in the conference. Once again, the defense will keep Auburn in every game for the most part. And that new line will be tested against a really well coached, running offense that Kentucky brings to the Plains.
I love what Mark Stoops has been able to build in Lexington, and sort of done what Matt Campbell has done at Iowa State, that team you just don’t want to see cause they are scrappy and will take advantage of your mistakes. On the betting lines, I am staying away from this one with spendy cashy monies but with fakey non-existant moneies, I love the Cats getting a touchdown and a hook because I see this one being in the 3-4 range with Auburn probably winning, just based on history and going with my heart, but I could totally see Kentucky pulling this off as well.
Gimme Auburn over Kentucky 27-24 and the defense had to get a late stop to seal this one away. Nothing like a late missed FG to start that stomach ulcer.
(betting pick: UK and the points, Over at 51)
-Drew Mac
Auburn *should* win this game. Auburn *should* have the talent advantage. But hey, this is 2020. Who knows what havoc Covid will have wrought on install for any given team.
That being said, I trust Bo Nix’s development as a true sophomore. I think this Auburn team, while still going through some growing pains, will finally start to hit on explosive plays with a veteran WR corps. This Kentucky defense is not the one that one 10 games two years ago.
The only way things go sideways is if the retooled defensive line can’t stop the Kentucky ground game, which is an extremely valid concern. The Wildcats have three returning backs who combined for 1,900 yards and 18 TDs while sharing the spotlight with Lynn Bowden Jr last year, and Terry Wilson is no slouch. I think the Auburn linebackers are going to have to earn their keep as best LB group in the SEC here in week 1.
Auburn takes this one with some big plays through the air and a defense that bucks up in the second half. 27-13 Auburn.
-Ryan Sterritt
I’m a huge proponent of playing a patsy in week 1. In a normal season fall camp doesn’t really give a complete picture of how an offensive line communicates in real time, how well the quarterback has his timing down with his receivers, if the tailback has fumbling problems, mike linebacker being able to switch the defensive alignment based on tendencies, etc. etc. But if you can’t play a patsy I’m a huge proponent of playing a top 10 team who will keep you engaged without distractions leading up to kickoff and will tell you so much about where you can go from here. What you don’t want is a trap game in week 1.
Folks what we have here is a trap game in week 1.
We’re 14 points better than Kentucky. I genuinely believe that. Talent wise and coaching we’re at least 2 scores better than this football team at home. And it does not matter one bit thanks to COVID.
I am so concerned over what we’re going to look like out there considering how many guys were held out at various points of our extended fall camp thanks to COVID. Which wouldn’t be as big of a deal in a normal year, even though it would still be a big deal, but OH YEAH WE HAD NO SPRING PRACTICE. So in keeping with my tradition of being absolutely God awful at Barnin’ Hard, this tiger ain’t changing his stripes for this one.
Keys to victory:
- Stop a Kentucky ground attack with a defensive line that is fully capable of plugging the gaps and have your linebackers make plays in space. This will only work if our corners, who will be in a lot of one on one situations, make plays. Jaylin Simpson is the guy that will get picked on, and this is a fine opportunity for the redshirt freshman to get thrown into the deep end to see if he’ll sink or swim in his first meaningful snaps. If he can hold his own, we’re in good shape.
- Establish an intermediate passing attack early in this game. Keep their defense off balance early on the offensive script and allow Bo Nix and an offensive line that will struggle but has a higher ceiling than that of the last 2 seasons gain some confidence early.
- Get the fastest player in all of college football 10 touches/targets for the day. This one may appear in all 10 entries of “Keys to Victory” for our schedule this year. Scheme to get Anthony Schwartz the ball in multiple ways. And then scheme off of it to get other players in positions to be in favorable coverages.
- Rotate your running backs in a way that makes sense instead of giving the “guy with the hot hand” 25 carries. This running back room is deeper and more talented than it has been since the healthy parts of 2016/2017 for Pettway and KJ. Give these guys a chance to punish Kentucky’s defense with fresh legs for 4 quarters. Make them hate playing us.
- Oh, and finally, get some sound sleep and show up alert for an 11 AM kickoff. I don’t need to explain to any of you why this is obviously something we should all worry over.
All in all I think being at home does matter, despite 20,000 people in the stands. Traveling in these uncertain times has to account for something, right?
Auburn 27 Kentucky 21
-Josh Black
If the first few weeks of football are any indication, I’m expecting some low scoring sloppy games on Saturday. And while Auburn’s rivals have essentially “warmup games” to start their season, Auburn will play another ranked opponent in Week 1. That’s JABA right?
Anyways, I’m really excited to see this group of Running Backs led by Captain Shaun Shivers this season. I’m really excited to see Shaun get the opportunity to start and it’ll be interesting to see how many carries he and the rest of the RBs get on Saturday. This is an experienced receiving corps too led by Seth Williams, “Flash” Anthony Schwartz and veteran Eli Stove.
The biggest question to me (other than the offensive line) will be the defensive line as it’s hard replacing Derrick Brown and Marlon Davidson. And we can all hope for better O-Line play this season and a more mature Bo Nix as he enters Year 2 as the starting QB.
As I said earlier, I’m thinking this is a low-scoring game and I’m a bit concerned about this one, with the 11AM kick and all but I’ll take Auburn in a close one.
Auburn 17 Kentucky 14
-Will McLaughlin
I firmly believe Auburn has a significant talent advantage at the skill positions in this matchup. Yes the Cats have an athletic QB, a strong stable of backs, intriguing WRs and a surprisingly good secondary but across the board I’ll take Auburn. However, it won’t matter if the Tigers lose the line of scrimmage battle which is way more likely than any of us wanna imagine.
As you have probably read, heard, seen by now, Kentucky has one of the best offensive lines in the country. This isn’t a group made up of 3-star kids with heart. Left tackle Landon Young was a 5-star recruit. Center Drake Jackson was a 4-star ranked as a top 150 player. Future NFLer Darian Kinnard was a 4-star recruit as well. This is both an experienced AND talented front who enjoy physically beating the hell out of their opponents. Everyone in the world knew that a run play was likely coming last fall and it rarely mattered. While I trust Rodney Garner & Kevin Steele to rebuild this front 4 for the Tigers, I am concerned about them being ready to go week 1. Even with Derrick Brown and Marlon Davidson last year, Oregon pushed around the Tigers for one half. This UK OL is of the same calibre and it wouldn’t shock me if they came out the gate with similar success.
Then there’s the other side of the ball where the UK return plenty of experience of a solid front 7. However, they were actually pretty porous against the run last fall allowing over 5 yards a carry against SEC competition. The problem is I am not sure if Auburn is ready to take advantage. In most years, when I see a defense susceptible to the run, I expect an AU victory that borders on dominant. I just don’t know if the Tigers though will be ready to go on Saturday.
That’s why Anders Carlson will be the x-factor. I think Auburn’s offense will look disjointed but generate enough explosive plays to get into UK territory consistently. They don’t put the ball in the end zone as much as we would like but Anders knocks through 4 big kicks. The defense rebounds from a rough first quarter to limit the UK offense to only 2 touchdowns on the day. Auburn recovers a late onside kick to escape with a hard won victory.
Auburn 26 Kentucky 20
-AU Nerd
Auburn at 11am.
Auburn in season openers.
Auburn as favorites vs hungry teams.
Yuck. I am finding it hard to Barn as hard...——record scratch—-
(The boys are back in town starts playing)
Just kidding!
The Boys are back!
Guys we are gonna kill em.
Auburn 34- Kats 24
-Son of Crow
Most of the time I have some idea of what to expect. There’s a gut feeling, an inkling, an intuition. Even days when I publicly avow a big win, and we end up losing, I realize that I knew it deep in my soul. This time, I have nothing. I guess that’s what 2020 will do to a man. I can’t pick this game with my heart or my gut, so I have to go with the limited knowledge that we’ve been able to glean from the practice fields. Somehow, Gus has kept it tighter than usual this season. He’s keeping spies, leaks, and COVID out of the fold.
It’s not a big secret that Auburn’s level of talent is superior across the board, but Kentucky might have the mix of experience to go along with its skill to make this a very scary opening contest. We’ve heard that the Wildcats’ lines are both going to be solid, and that gives us a flashback of what the Oregon offense was able to do for about a half last year in Arlington. Auburn can’t afford a slow start on Saturday, because we’ll be breaking in a new offensive line. Now, that might not be the worst thing in the world — our line last year was nothing much to write home about — but they started to get better down the stretch. That said, this year’s group might be more maulers than linemen. Sometimes you just need some dudes being guys up front to push people around. We might have that, thus the run game could come to life with a much more talented group in the backfield. Not to mention, Bo Nix’s sophomore development with a true quarterback coach could be something unparalleled.
Kentucky will give us a fight, but there’s no way I’m picking us to lose this game. It’ll probably be close, and uncomfortably so for a while I’d wager. Still, the home “crowd” and the overall talent win out in the end. I think someone else mentioned Anders Carlson being a weapon in this one, and I agree. I think he hits 3 kicks and Auburn scores 3 touchdowns. Tigers 30-21.
-Jack Condon
In our preseason predictions I pegged this as one of the three games that Auburn could lose, and had it at the top of my list as the one I’m most worried about. That may seem weird, but we really just have no clue how any team, including our own is going to look on Saturday. We’ve all seen how bad some of these other teams already playing have looked, and I guess people think that there’s no way their own team could look that bad, but I’m not so sure. That said, I believe this Auburn team has all the components necessary to be better than last season and thus easily handle a Kentucky team that is, well they’re Kentucky. The new look offense should give an older, more seasoned Bo Nix a chance to throw some higher percentage passes, we have an SEC caliber stable of running backs for the first time in a couple of seasons, and presumably a fully healthy group of receivers. The new-look offensive line doesn’t concern me at all, because, well, I’ve lived through the last two seasons. At this point Kevin Steele and co. have earned my utmost confidence that the defense will pick up right where they left off.
Tigers 37 - Cats 12
-AU Chief
Man alive I wish I wasn’t so worried about this. Kentucky is well coached. They know what they are, and they don’t try to do things outside their comfort zone. Their strengths could cause problems for us. And yet, Auburn has more talent. 2020 is going to be a weird year, but I think having better athletes is going to win out more often than not, because teams are going to have to keep things simple. I like everything I’m hearing out of fall camp. I still don’t know about that line though. I could see a backdoor cover for UK where Auburn has to recover an onside kick to clinch things. I could see a front door cover for Auburn putting the game away late. I’ll stay on the safe side.
Auburn 24
Kentucky 17
(Auburn wins, UK covers; under)
-James Jones
from College and Magnolia - All Posts https://www.collegeandmagnolia.com/2020/9/25/21456468/staff-picks-8-auburn-vs-23-kentucky
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hell-guild · 5 years
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HELLO, HELLIONS! today, may 6th, 2019, marks... THE SECOND YEAR OF [HELL]! and i’m here to bring you a big feelgood post about it! ✨
i know, i know, officers make feelgood posts a lot! we’re sentimental! but truly, genuinely, i wanna talk about the last two years!
i think you’d be hard pressed to find anyone in the guild who wouldn’t say what an incredibly and absolutely wild ride the last two years have been. many people have been in and out of our guild spaces, but the firey spirit that keeps our guild going lives on and keeps us moving forward. our guild has seen people find their identities, fall in love, start their transitions, make new best friends, create found families, go through life changes and milestones, overcome hardships, and continue to wade through the sea of life as endless doors open and close. a lot of people might think it’d be silly to get so sentimental about ‘just an mmo guild’, but it’s true, and those of us who have lived through all these things and more know it’s true and know how much the guild has helped us through it all!
2 years ago when looska and i decided to found hell guild, we just wanted to create a space where people could chat and be themselves. we were going through hard times and had very little friends to lean on at the time, and we wanted to take the chance and make the guild to see if there was anyone out there like us. needless to say, the guild has absolutely grown beyond our wildest dreams, and still continues to!
and we’re not the only people who feel this way! let’s have a look at some of the things our beloved members have to say:
HELL is more than just a guild, it feels like a welcoming little oasis of friends! I've only been here about a year but I love this lil family we got.
the best guild ever and best group i've ever been into, got me to be more brave
im really glad i was able to join this guild,cause i think it has allowed me togrow as a person,and to try and interact more whit other people,i also got to meet lots of people i would probably have never met otherwise,and well,playing an mmo alone for years is not as fun as playing it whit lots of friends,so for that,im really happy i got to join HELL
Honestly, it's just been really nice having a guild full of fellow LGBT folks with weird and random interests to get into different things with. I was so scared to put in my app when y'all rolled up just before Christmas year before last, and I even apologized in a second app when I was pretty sure my first one got eaten by Google. But everyone has been super chill since I joined, and I'm glad to still be here, and hope to be around for a while yet to come.
despite its reputation hell is a surprisingly welcoming and friendly place. throws some really rad parties! thanks satan
bread
I move around a lot so I don't really get the chance to make any local friends, so I'm super grateful to be part of such a friendly guild that hosts a bunch of non-guild mission activities/events. Everyone is just so friendly and willing to help, whether it's with GW2 or other things. Thanks!
You've all grown a lot in 2 years, with a lot of love and patience in your hearts.
i love everyone here so much! so much!
ok i just wanna say. im bad at having coherent thoughts and even worse at putting those into readable sentences, but im so glad to know everyone here. this is such a nice place where i can just exist AND be gay & trans without it feeling like im an Other because of it. everyone here is v good and i love yall & i genuinely hope everyone here achieves whatever they set their minds to
But also, it is SO nice to have a space I can go to and just... expect a certain standard of behavior. We can have fun and talk freely, but I'm never afraid that someone is just going to bust out something absolutely horrible. That's a rare and really special atmosphere to have!
i love this guild & everyone in it. im so glad to have met everyone in here & im happy to call yall my friends. youve all helped me a lot and i wish every HELLion to have a good year & good life in general
truly, you all put it way better than i could have, and i mean it sincerely from the bottom of my heart when i say I LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH! i myself have overcome so many personal wounds and had so much personal growth and found the love of my life due to hell guild.
you all are truly the best folks i could wish to know, and you are all part of what makes hell truly great, whether you’re an officer or whether you only interact with us once in awhile. the greatness of the guild is not upon any one person’s shoulders, but how all of you come together with genuine empathy in your hearts and care for the people around you. so, once again, THANK YOU! and here’s to many more happy years for our guild!
-- jackson
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newgirlinthecorner · 5 years
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Some quick letters
This is to my friends, personalized, in case they find this blog.
Also for my exes cause im salty
I really hope ya'll don't find it tho cause this is my diary sooooo
But if you do, this is for you, circa Feb 16,'19
So if you don't find yourself I'm either not close enough with you or i just don't know you yet♡
Btw this is in the order that yall come to mind (except the second to last one, ive been thinking about you nonstop for WEEKS)
Order:
Chloe, Ahlim, Seonmin, Chongwoo, Baron, Ella, Dale, Hannah L., Olivia S., Liv L., Marit, Maddy X., John, Abigail, Caitlyn, Terry, Harry, Ava, Adrian, Sanjana, Eliza, Juri, Lily M., Braeden, Dean, Ryan N., Chris P., Tyler, Ties
Chloe
Hey, what's up
Nothing here is new for you so I don't have much to tell you. Thank you for your friendship through all these years♡
Ahlim
I miss you.
Also, I've been congratulating you on your birthday every year till 2018. Yet you haven't congratulated me once.
But I hope you are well.
Remember how we said we'd meet up at Harvard?
I fully intend on holding up my side of the deal.
Seonmin
I'm sorry for being such a catastrophe whilst we were close. I hope I'm living up to what you think I am now.
Say hi to harabeoji for me♡
Chongwoo
Dude im sorry for how i tried to get with you but you didnt have to be so rude yknow like damn ok
another mothafuckin scorpio
Baron
I liked you for a longass time
Remember my letter you threw out in 4th grade? That shit still haunts me to this day.
I heard you really went downhill.
Sucks to be you ig
Ella
I love you so much
We need to talk more
I know you're seeing this rn, so hmu cause i miss you but im too awkward to say so properly
Also, feel free to show people that you're friends with their respective sections in this post.
Dale
S Q U I S H
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You deserve many love you adorable being and i love you very much
I miss you if it isnt obvious
Hannah L.
I really hope you're doing well. Are you still swimming? I bet your English is amazing now♡ I hope you get into an Ivy League like you've wanted to.
Olivia S.
How've you been? We need to talk.
I'm sorry I don't have much to say, we didn't spend all that much time together.
But I haven't forgotten you.
Liv L.
I'm still not really certain what I did the winter of '17 that cast us apart. However, I do know that I hurt you, so I'm sorry. I really did cherish the bond we had and I hope to rekindle that because I miss you.
If you see this, please tell me♡
Marit
You always kind of confused me, but in a good way. What I remember is your mother's lentil soup, the moose tracks ice cream, and our trip to Daiso.
I got a samsung phone so I can't use the case but I still have it in my memories drawer.
It's amazing how you didn't get sick of all the rambling about oowooppa that I did.
I miss you too♡
Maddy X.
I do genuinely want to see you again, so I'm sorry I couldn't come to Moraga in the summer of '18.
However, you hurt me pretty badly when we were in 8th grade.
I would support you, even abandoning all my plans to take you to the hill to rant and yell and sob, but I would get nothing back.
I spent 50 hours on your birthday presents that year and got nothing back.
I wouldn't expect you to do the same, but at least a liiiitle bit of efforr would have been nice.
I'm still hurt. Sorry. I wish you success with your family, volleyball, and academics♡
John
You already know this but boy we needa fuck asap
Anyways your friendship is great and even though we float apart a little, you're president here.
I love how you're so happy to help me in my amoral schemes
♡love you boo
Abigail
How the hell did you get here?!
I'm impressed.
Caitlyn
I'm sorry I've been neglecting our friendship but we have too divergent interests and I have other things to focus on
You're a sweet girl though and a great person
Plus I'm allergic to eyeshadow now so
Terry
OKAY LISTEN HERE YOU LITTLE SHIT
i will fucking murder you you hear me
You thought i wasnt pissed after you cheated on me?
You thought you got away with it?
I know everything, aidan.
Everything.
Don't try to hide from me.
I will always win.
Why?
Because almost everyone hates you, knows you're a liar, and much less people are antagonistic towards me.
Harry
Here's the truth:
I only dated you to sour the friendship with Terry. Why? Because he's a shithead. You deserve better than him.
I'm sorry, but I never actually liked you.
Ava
Your overly energetic moods annoy the hell out of me im sorry
Please shut up once in a while
Please remember what i tell you at least sometimes
Please talk about something aside from yourself
Thank you for coming to my TED talk.
Adrian
Surprise surprise, i wanna fuck
Hmu youre hot
Also funny so like
👍👌
Sanjana
Please learn to keep your mouth shut goddammit
you didnt have to tell everyone about my plot involving dean!
Eliza
You're gonna date a druggie in the near future.
But you know what, you're great.
Sorry i hit you that one time it was a joke
Juri
I'm almost certain you won't see this
I understand youre evangelical but please stop preaching to me
You're a really nice girl but youre kind of hollow and a prude
Not too horribly fun to be around, sorry
Lily M.
I love you so much oh my god
You always light up my mornings and its amazing
Keep doin you boo
Braeden
That one time, i wasnt just asking to hang
I was asking you out
Is your skull really that thick?
I liked you, you know.
Dean
You shouldn't even be on this list cause you're too insignificant
But like lowkey i wanna fuck
Your girlfriend can do much better than you but i on the other hand cannot so like
🙃
Ryan N.
Again, like with a lot of other people, I wanna fuck.
That is all.
Chris P.
Please stop whining
Otherwise youre a great guy
Tyler
Oh, you're the hard hitter here
Mothafucka ive been writing about you to shit on this blog
Get in me right now
Just take me
In more ways than one
Also sorry im so awkward when we kiss or you pick me up im just taken aback by you yknow
Ties
I still intend on fucking with you.
I will haunt you for a longass time bitch
You made a fuckin mistake crossing me
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The end
1 note · View note
tayegi · 6 years
Note
i have so many theories right now...what if the guys are just trying to win a bet set on the oc? or maybe jk just doesn’t realize he likes the oc and mistakes his own actions as platonic ones? also, as readers, we see the story through the oc’s eyes so we focus on that angst part at the end of chap9, but then again, the oc has stated multiple times to hoseok and so many people that her and jk would never be more. whatever she went trough there, jk could have been trough the same a million times.
ahhhh you guys are the best!!! srsly i am so honored to have so many thoughtful, lovely, incredible asks theorizing about the plot and what jk’s intentions are!!! i would love to respond to each and every one of them, but unfortunately, i am unable to confirm or deny anything!
But i think these are super interesting and i’ve read all of them, and i’d love it if other ppl did as well! MORE ASKS UNDER THE CUT: 
Anonymous said:I know Hoseok wasn’t in this chapter but I feel like Hoseok is gonna play her like jk did and she’s gonna be left in the dust with no one and resort to being even more icy. Jungkook has a lot of problems and it’s really evident that he likes her in that way. Fuckbois are really something else man. They get scared of affection yet lead girls on and make them scared of it. It’s like a constant cycle of insecurity. Damn I wish she was with jimin. He would’ve provided all the love and affection
Anonymous said:lmao why is everyone assuming jk will never change and that he’s going to be an Evil Fuckboi™️ forever. like, we can see how the oc changed throughout the story, so why y’all thinking jk can’t do the same. the story isn’t over, there is more to learn, and the oc and jk have more development to go through. anyway, deep in my heart I’m hoping they’ll get a happy ending 💜
Anonymous said:Why do I get the feeling that Jungkook has slight romantic feelings towards the oc but his fear of not wanting to get hurt outweighs those thoughts. I don’t know though I might be completely off😫Thank you for the update!
Anonymous said:I tried reading the story in JK's POV and I cant help but feel as if he isnt the one at fault for making OC cry. Yes, he rejected her but he's known as a fkboy. He stated clearly that he didn't want a relationship, he thought OC knew that clearly. Thus he thought they were just friends. All the things he said was misinterpreted into a romantic way cause people kept forcing OC to view their relationship romantically. I felt that if ppl didnt do that, OC wldnt have developed feelings for him.
carlyangel123 said:Ok everyone is saying that Jungkook hasn't changed at all and I'm not saying like oh yall wrong or anything😂. But I think, based on Jungkook's showcase of clinginess and affectionate actions through the past chapters, that he HAS fallen for the OC. However, bc of his past (not wanting to go through another possible heartbreak), his assumption the OC would never like him, and just maybe insecurities that he's denying it and forcing himself to be indifferent like the OC did in the beginning.🤔🤔
Anonymous said:Nah nah nah nah lu i refuse to believe that everything jungkook did was all platonic but through oc’s eyes we saw as romantic. Im trying to remember everything he’s done for her and trying to see it from a platonic pov but i cant. So here’s my conclusion: jk likes oc but during the car ride and seeing his hand in hers he had a realization and became fearful of being hurt like he was before. Thats why he put his barriers up again CUZ LIKE HOW COULD THAT BE THE SAME JK I JUST ALDJSKAHALA
Anonymous said:Jin was an ass who only wanted sex, cheated on y/n and didn't care for her, many people think that Jk may've gone through something similar with his ex, but I think JK's ex was totally different, she was in fact... the opposite. Possessive, wanted to be with jk all the time, didn't let him breath, etc... That's why he doesn't want a relationship, he suffered the opposite extreme of what the oc suffered with jin, also this would mean the oc is the complete opposite to jk's ex aka why he likes her
Anonymous said:i’m analyzing NR again and just a theory of my own: jk’s relationship with his ex girlfriend started as a fwb type and jk was the one to develop feelings first, and at first it was good and then severely went downhill? this theory is probably far from correct, but i was just piecing together the fact that he hates hookup culture, but is able to engage in it with OC, maybe jk just wanted the physical emotion or OC reminds jk of his ex? anyways i’m enjoying the story so so much! best wishes lu 💜
Anonymous said:Wait so like OC got reminded of Jin when she met JK, so I thought that maybe JK saw himself in OC? Bc sometimes they REALLY think alike.. Idk man I just had this idea.. I LOVE YOU SO DAMN MUCH LU HAVE A NICE DAYYYY–❄️🐰
Anonymous said:I've been thinking about oc's relationship with seokjin and jk's with his ex gf. We don't know anything about her except two things: the oc reminded jk of her (as jk reminded her of seokjin) and the "don't leave me like she did" he said while drunk. If seokjin helped oc build who she is and what she wants in a relationship, we could say that maybe jk wants something that lacked in his previous relationship, like emotional support or a caring hand. It matches oc's Ice Queen reputation a bit to me
Anonymous said:Omg jks roues are definitely along the lines of “dont fall for anyone”
Anonymous said:so like, i feel as tho hyejin plays a more important role than we’re realizing. why does she seem so obsessed with jk if everyone knows he’s a fuckboy who doesn’t do relationships? why does she think she’s different? why does she think she has a chance? unless they already have a history we don’t know about...?? 🤔
Anonymous said:Personally, I wasn‘t that surprised about Jungkook not feeling the same way as OC. I don‘t blame him, he was honest from the very beginning with her. At the same time, I cannot blame OC either for feeling the way she does. Hookup culture leads you to believe that the person you‘re sleeping with should not care for you. I assume that OC interpreted the signals from JK in the wrong way, and thought he might love her when, in reality, he does care about her, but not in the way she wants. (1) ☀️
Anonymous said:JK has found smn he can talk to, and share smth else beyond sex. At the very end, I think OC might be the one who will push him outside his shell but not necessarily be the one he will fall in love with. (2)☀️
Anonymous said:I feel like oc and Jungkook might be on the same wavelength but because Jungkook clearly hasn’t gotten over his ex and whatever happened he might be pushing oc away. Plus the fact he even wants to stay friends with her is quite sweet in itself. It shows he genuinely cares about her, but probably isn’t ready to have any sort of relationship. You haven’t mentioned him having any female friends either so all of that skinship he does with oc might just be his way of being friendly??
Anonymous said:I feel like Jungkook is not over his ex and maybe he will end up with her, maybe he really does like the OC for the sex and the friendship. That's all.
Anonymous said:What if JK still likes his ex? :O
Anonymous said:Hummm sometimes I feel like in the end they're just going to be experiences for each other. I mean the OC and JK, maybe they will have none relationship at all, not friendship nor fuck buddies nor bf and gf...
dodoesdidwill said:Hyejin's line "You are really good at skating. I'm amazed" what? No way he was practicing after OC took him to skate, right? There must be something we don't know yet...
Anonymous said:Ok, if "New Rules" has taught me anything, it's to NOT judge a book by its covers. I judged Mijoo too harshly & things weren't as they seemed. Not repeating the same mistake with Kook. He was obviously hurt by someone in the past, just like the OC. Sooo... Maybe OC is not the only one with new rules? Maybe Kook was so hurt, one of his rules is to not fall in love again, or to ever put himself in a vulnerable position to be hurt again? Idk but I don't think he's that much of a dickwad
Anonymous said:Okay, so you said that we've been seeing JK through the OC's perspective and that we need to sort through the facts and her assumptions. What the anon who talked about JK having FWBs for the intimacy said really made sense to me and I thought about the fact that, if my memory serves me correctly, we've only seen JK with the OC. We have no way of knowing how he's acted in other FWB relationships. Maybe this is how he's been with all of them??? I dunno.
Anonymous said:i think new rules! jk likes OC too. this thing going on between them isn't just platonic. but the problem is, he really doesn't want to invest in a relationship, as some sort of defense mechanism (kind of like repression maybe?) i can't wait to find out more about his past and see exactly how it's correlating with his actions rn. I'm super hooked in your story lu! you never fail to deliver as always 💜
Anonymous said:I think jk is just as scared of what he feels for oc as oc is scared of what she feels for jk. Like I think oc already went through a ‘I need to protect myself from my feelings for him’ phase and I think jk is going through that now after their time at the hotel. I think he realized that he likes her a lot more than he realized and after coming back he’s trying to shut his feelings so he doesn’t go through whatever happened with his ex again
Anonymous said:JK said he hated hookup culture yet he partakes in it. My theory is that he might've done the same as OC has now done. Maybe had a sort of fwb relationship with his ex and subsequently fell for them, and they broke his heart. But again, idk if that's enough for someone to want to abstain from romantic relationships forever, though it does depend on the person. I'm probably wayyyy off but it's worth a shot :')
8 notes · View notes
Text
Ep. 11: “Do you all think I am just floating over here with no one?” - Aimee
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Amy A
Ben ☹️. I didn’t play too well with him and it was such a good blindside I couldn’t resist. I wish him well and I just have a feeling I’m next to go 
Olivia A
Okay umm we got Ben out but it turns out Kalle gave me a real idol? So I feel weird. The reason we began suspecting her of lying was because Hanuha people knew about Maddison’s safety without power advantage and Kalle was literally the only person who could’ve told them. IDK!!
Aimee
I’m just so tired of crying! Sarah tried to video chat and I just couldn’t. No one knew I don’t think that Ben and I were so close. Gaaaaah I’m gonna miss him so much! He just helped me so much to stay sane in this game. The last thing I need is anyone seeing me as a big hot mess. I can’t catch a break. 
Sarah
From two nights ago.... https://youtu.be/uebz8rVKNbg https://youtu.be/xQyiuiGeEpo
Pedro A
when i actually thought i was at the bottom........THERES EVEN A LOWER BOTTOM...THAT IM IN RIGHT NOW......chille ben screwed us BIG TIME....we were in a great spot..i dont even know what to say at this point
Sarah
Wow. Okay. I didn’t want to be a villain but here we are. I will post a video confessional soon but for now, the plan to vote out Ben actually worked. I called Maddison last minute and explained that Ben and Kalle were tight and were all over the place, playing both sides. Maddison found out that Kalle was a rat and was not being completely truthful and we both agreed on voting Kalle or Ben. We agreed on Ben because we thought Kalle was going to play her idol on herself.... turns out Ben was telling the truth in voting out Kalle to old Hanuha and Kalle actually gave Olivia a real idol. More to come... but for now I feel like a villain ahhh. 
Kalle N.
Well I said that my only goal was to make jury and not go to the FTC so it looks like Ben really helped me achieve that. THAT FOOL REALLY FUCKED ME OVER ON HIS WAY OUT THE DOOR. This is fine. I will never let him forget that I've beaten him twice now and that's all that matters. Did not see this tribal coming at all. Can't wait to get voted out next
Najwah
If I learned anything today is that we tend to read in and over think and make up scenarios in our head. Ben was actually on our side all along? Who would have thought. All the bits and pieces he told us today just didn't add up and Cody said he was different and everyone was just quiet and Ben didn't talk in the group, he spoke to people individually. I don't really understand what just happened but we wasted so much energy speculating lmao. And now where the hell do we go from here? Cody has become so paranoid also. The minute Ben told him that those people will be writing his name he became soooo paranoid wtf. Then he WASTED an advantage and idol at tribal? Just bc he still didn't trust the plan. I'm starting to think that Cody just can't trust anyone or any process. I really think he needs to chill more. Be more low key. Just try to be calm. If you get voted out, it's not like you're going to die or something. It's just a game after all. 
Aimee
Apparently tribe was getting too suspicious of how Ben and Kalle were so close. I still don’t get why I had to be left out of the vote though? Why can’t I get the respect to be told what is happening before the vote, so I have time to process my emotions and have my stuff together a little. https://immunityilol.tumblr.com/post/617448854807298048 Instead I get nothing. I get a call from Sarah right after Ben is voted out. Obviously I can’t answer it because I’m crying and no one knew I was super close to Ben. I’m just so angry right now first Grae now Ben! IS MADDISON NEXT!? FUCK! Like Gah I’m afraid to get close to anyone. But I just love getting to know people. I finally got to video chat with Maddison. Fucking loved it! She is great to talk to and great to have on this crazy skype isolation island. I need some interaction and realness right now. Ok I’m totally drinking. It’s hard enough to process all this nonsense sober. We will see what the next day brings. 
Aimee
Sarah I really don’t want us to end up like this Casanova music video. 😢💔 I guess everyone wants to blindside Aimee as a treat. I hope people got their jollies out of it. 🌟 Allie X - Casanova feat VÉRITÉ https://youtu.be/YpVunjboAWg
Sarah
From last night.... https://youtu.be/EirlyVVXDKk
Sarah
Day 21 https://youtu.be/aYiGStuSKDA
Pedro A
Im afraid Kalle will throw me under the bus...just to stay this week cause shes on the bottom....and im also afraid that maddison and olivia will try to convince kalle to vote me out...instead ....since they are coming for me ...GOSHHH..i hate my life...i need immunity...CAN I LIKE HAVE IT?
Pedro A
okay so im excited to see everyone's answers to this challenge...THIS WILL BE INTERESTING...it will reveal a lot of people real thoughts ..IM READY FOR TEAAAA YALL
Najwah
I enjoyed my day today. I think it's the first time I was fully in the real world in 22 days. I'm playing a reckless game right now. There are so many layers in this game but after last night's tribal and learning that Ben was being legit, I just feel bad. I love Cody but he's definitely a loose cannon and can't play low key. Which is definitely bad for my game. He and Sarah are trying to push me into getting Amy on our side, but our relationship just isn't like that. I don't want to make her feel used. I like her. I really like her a lot. I like Sarah too. And Cody. I want to be friends with all these people IRL lol so I don't want to play against them or lie to them. This game just gets harder every time someone gets voted off tbh but I'm at the point where I feel like "if my plan works, then great", "if it doesn't, then whatever. I get to chill on panderosa and get to sleep more and actually spend time with my family and friends who I've been avoiding since this started lmao" Also, I'd be able to work again. I haven't got much work done urgh. I don't know whether my super idol is real. I'm curious to see what tonight's challenge will reveal. I am not going in with any syrategy
Cody wants to go for Kalle and Pedro coz they voted for him? I don't know, I think that's kinda silly and I'm not about revenge. You have to think rationally. And we have made a few irrational choices of late because people read into things. I still wish Ben hadn't told Cody that everyone was voting for him. That's how so much of yesterday's shit started. I have been so tired since yesterday. Tired of the scheming and overthinking and being paranoid over nothing urgh. Aimee also wants to call me after the challenge. I'm kinda scared tbh. I had a dream last night that Aimee killed me lmao this game is haunting me and giving me nightmares. Honestly, I'd be okay if anyone left wins this game. Okay except Kalle. She's the only one I've not interacted with and she just seems dodge idk. Maybe I'm still thinking about Zack's stupid analysis on people. Anyways. 
Najwah
I'm happy for Maddison tbh. She deserved that. I just want to scream about Cody though? Why did Cody chop Aimee? Wtf. And that made Aimee chop Sarah before she chopped Amy or Maddison. I'm so confused. Ugh. 
Maddison
Apparently I don’t know much about this tribe. Yeet!
Pedro A
Villan of the season?....im honored...but bitter jury?...i didnt like that one..lol
Aimee
I chopped Pedro for Grae. 
I chopped Olivia and haha sorry I got so nervous on here that I just chopped the final chop, even though that was savage as hell... I called her a goat and then chopped her right out of the game. Oops hahahahaha. When I watch this challenge back I look like the C word with a capital C.... And that word isn’t “cartwheel.” I chopped Sarah for the Ben blindside. I chopped Amy for my mental health. I can’t lose Maddison! I’m so sick of being tortured that I truly am running out of fucks tbh. Just chop anyone, whatever. Why do I care...
Aimee
Ohhhh Najwah!!!! Don’t worry about not telling me about the vote or accidentally calling me a goat because you didn’t know the meaning. I think I would make a cute goat. https://nunyabizni.tumblr.com/post/615593098008035328 Love that you think I’m actually “the Greatest of All Time.” I adore you and our friendship 💖❤️💞 luv you girl!!! I know you’re truly being genuine unlike others. I’m waiting for this game to tip in our favor so we can run with it. https://youtu.be/TGwZ7MNtBFU This MV is dedicated towards Najwah after Cody swooped in and stole my final 2 with her. No hard feelings; I have my own stuff to sort out after my man Ben was voted out. I’m pretty confident you have a final 2 with Cody and I love that for you. 🧡💛💚 I’m happy y’all got together and are strong with Sarah. But here I am. Do you all think I am just floating over here with no one? Just not playing the game and grazing my grass over here like a “goat?” They really don’t know how close I was with Ben and they got stupid lucky on that one. I’m not as clueless as you all think... it’s in your best interest to reconsider. Also let’s not skip over the fact that Sarah and I both didn’t get an answer on touchy subjects for “who do you trust the most.” Yeah don’t think I didn’t peep that. 👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀 Sarah didn’t put me and I didn’t put her. I put Maddison. Cody had 2 votes. Najwah and Sarah put him. I’m not dense. I guess Sarah is cool with being that 3rd wheel. Loving the fact that apparently no one has been seeing me reaching across the aisle for damn DAYS trying to play with Maddison.... oh honey, oh girl...oh no no ... that was just Ben right? Yeah. My final 2 with Ben is gone so I’m rogue and hoping I can get Maddison as far as possible with me. Also! Just letting you all know I’m not a damn chump. It’s SO OBVIOUS that Cody Najwah and Sarah have a fucking secret chat that they’ve been in since the beginning of all time, which included Zack. You’ve heard it here first folks. Oh and I’ve known this for at least a week or two. The tells are so blatant, but catch me pretending to have no idea. I’m not the goat that you think I am, but I would LOVE you to continue to think of me of a goat and forgettable. If you knew what I was doing I wouldn’t be allowed to get to the end. If I’m on any players radars then that means I am doing a bad job. So, I absolutely loved what this challenge revealed. I know way more than people think I know, but I am playing up the ditzy card hardcore. I would much rather prefer to be a stealthy sniper that people think is not playing. Give me a chance to explain my game in the final tribal and you might regret that. I have been doing all the same moves as Ben and same exact strategy.... he gets called a big threat and blindsided and yet here I am with identical strategy and totally left alone and tbh a little disrespected but that works to my advantage. Perception is not reality! This could be everyone’s biggest mistake and I honestly love it. I just want Kalle and Pedro out tbh. I got my big boobs and my positivity. I’m mind strong and I’m ready to get this. Your lady is never giving up. If you blindside me again it better be me that gets voted out. Otherwise you’re all in a world of fucking trouble... https://64.media.tumblr.com/0389c791f095d54973543b32d4414577/984582d2a107588c-89/s540x810/c10ec7b961de2fd3b693a886ea7385b04ed3d653.gifv
Najwah
I am still tired. LOL. Amy L still hasn't replied to me. I think she hates me right now and I burned the bridge with her, which I'm obviously sad about because it's the only bridge I really cared about? Like she's the only person who I was 100% sure about and we've always respected each others allegiance to their alliances. Anyway. What does it matter now? I'm going to let Cody and Sarah make a plan with this tribal scrambling. Oh Cody said the reason he chopped Aimees rope is because he didn't want her to win immunity again lmao so he rather chops someone in his own alliance wtf I can't get over that fatal mistake. That and playing the extra vote and idol😭😭 ugh and I think people assume I am his goat or something lmaooooo I absolutely adore Cody but I really hope he doesn't mess things up for himself. Sarah wants me to get coins for them to buy an immunity idol. Do I really want to waste 5 coins again on someone whose just going to get paranoid and play it? I don't know. I need to think on it. 
Aimee
Welp I finally told my first lie in this game and hopefully it’s not my demise. I guess it’s my turn to be messy. I’m still coping with Ben being gone. 💔😢😫 Why the nut, did I tell Pedro I want him here. It was definitely too much alcohol and worried if he had another idol I would be the throw vote. Welp we will see if he throws that info all over the island. https://64.media.tumblr.com/d9f98e355c7e9229777fa982551cfd7e/tumblr_nr72mkoPHr1rs8h9do7_250.gifv https://64.media.tumblr.com/d37a2b6f76f83c1beaca2ca2bac6bb72/tumblr_nr72mkoPHr1rs8h9do3_250.gifv I’ve made peace with it though. This lady ain’t stopping, but if this puts me in jury. I’m honestly excited! I’ll finally get to talk to James, Grae and Ben again! And that makes my heart warm. ♥️ 
Pedro A
I'm probably going home tonight....kinda done with this.....I'm exhausted and emotionally drained from this experience.. I just wanna chill...at the end of the day its either me or kalle....so may the odds be in my favor!!
Najwah
I'm nervous about this vote. Apparently Maddison and co are willing to work with us to get Kalle out. I don't know how legit it is but I'm tired tonight and I just think I should do an early vote before people change their minds. 
Amy A.
So we had the game yesterday and there was a question about ‘closest Ally’ and no one chose me. I’m not really bothered about everyone else except NAJWAH. She didn’t choose me! I was the only one who chose her cos her name came just ONCE. Whoever she ended up choosing as her closest ally didn’t even choose her. It’s made me real life sad because I trusted her so much. Honestly, I didn’t even think twice about putting her name down for closest ally. I haven’t even spoken to anyone about tonight’s vote. Idk who I’m voting for but I know it’s not her cos I promised her that. That’s the only reason. Maybe I’m the one going home. I don’t know. 
Maddison
Let’s hope for a straightforward vote tonight with no unforeseen twists!
Aimee
https://youtu.be/m4Z0RN_KhK0 A flow mobz - thrill over fear (feat. luna blake) Omg I couldn’t sleep last night and I just woke up being bitchy about Pedro. I don’t think he actually has anyone besides maybe Kalle. My walls are up and I just want this vote to work in my favor and be Kalle. I hope there are no hard feelings after this game. I just want to get to know everyone during all this covid madness and have some fun. 🌈
0 notes
ts-2020-olympics · 4 years
Text
RITES OF PASSAGE - PRE JURY
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Some music to get in the mood, and let’s see the pre-jury rites of passage
youtube
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honestly i just wanted to boost my days played and placement average but both of those are now shit
EVE
Connor, Unfortunately you were the first to go, We met briefly in the arena and you seemed like a great personality! Shame that you had to go so early because you were for sure one of the people I really wanted to get to know more through the game!!
KEVIN
the first returnee fallen and so soon :c i was really looking forward to getting to know you because some mutual friends had some good words to say about you but sadly we never got the chance!
SARAH
We didn't get a chance to talk much, but I'd hope we run into each other in a game in the future!
TOMMY
OMG I can't believe you went first after promising me you wouldn't go first. Dhjejdndjdhhdhdhdbdh You were someone I was hoping to play with after you hosted for me in HvV. It would have been great to actually play this season with you, hope you're doing good bud ❤️❤️❤️
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EVE
Kathy, We never spoke but from what ive heard from others outside this game they where super upset when you got booted so early because you’re an icon!! Hopefully we can play together in another game some day!!
KEVIN
we never spoke but i loved your intro video, wish you lasted longer so we could’ve talked!
SARAH
You were on a badass tribe, I think we also missed each other in the hustle and bustle of the early rounds, but I'd definitely reach out if I see you around some future Tumblr games.
TOMMY
We never spoke but you had an interesting intro video!
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EVE
Bailey, We never spoke and from as much as I can see you where inactive so :/
KEVIN
I didn’t get to speak to you either sadly :c
SARAH
Love, you left too soon. I wish you were by my side longer, I know you would've gotten far in the game, you are a competitive QUEEN in nature. Sister from another tribe, we shall meet again!
TOMMY
We never spoke either, but hope you had fun this season!
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EVE
Will! The First OG Yujo to go!! You going so early was so heartbreaking because I felt like all 5 of the original Yujo tribe was very close, you just kinda went inactive :/
KEVIN
We never spoke either unfortunately :/
SARAH
Will we were on the OG Yujo tribe, I had so much fun doing that early challenge with you, making our chant and just shooting the shit while we prepped for the game. I hope you're doing ok, and I hope you come back for another game, because we made a good team.
TOMMY
We never spoke either, but also hope you had fun this season too!
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I’m gonna sayyyy, “YES EVE!! Kill it baby!!!!”
EVE
Nik! Probably one of my faves from OG Yujo, I feel like you were the most robbed after watching your tribal back and wish you would’ve came back from the arena so we could’ve had more talks!! Wish you where here for the music video, They just couldn't handle the power of us together for it could they?
KEVIN
We had some interactions in the tribe chat which were fun, but your opinions could use a little work :P sucks you didn’t get to stay longer so I could change them hehe
SARAH
Also from my OG Yujo tribe. You were a pleasure to talk to, and I think you played the game well. Like many in our tribe you left too early, but you worked really well with everyone on the team. You were a genuine person and you were here to both fight and have fun.
TOMMY
It was so sad seeing someone that wanted to be here leave early! Personally I was shocked because I thought you would have done well due to how active you were in the one world chat. It seemed like you may have done well under different circumstances!
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In terms of gameplay, I'm not the happiest. In terms of the drama and entertainment I caused, I couldn't be a prouder man. I came into this game guns blazing, not caring what people thought of me. If people were to gain one thing from me, it's that you go out on your own terms and create a legacy where you can come back. I will be returning, and it won't be pretty. I promise ya that.
EVE
Billy, We never really spoke to my knowledge, you where to me someone who I did want out fairly early tho, because you seemed to be someone who had a lot of say over what people did from an outside perspective. When you went I was a little shocked if im being honest.
KEVIN
oh billy, we never spoke one on one but I heard lots about you! you definitely made a mark on this season in the short time you were here.
SARAH
Billy, you played a damn good game. You played the challenges and went to tribals, and even when the pot was stirred up, you kept it fun. This was a good season and I'm sure I'll see you around some more games. Thank you for the spicy tribal sessions.
TOMMY
Despite leaving in the earlier rounds you were super memorable because of your big personality. Truly made things fun from watching yalls tribals, one of the bigger characters of the season!
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EVE
Jacob! As far as i'm concerned we never spoke, but you did do 2 arenas and lasted 6 hours in a pressure cooker! So id like to say congrats to you for that! You did amazing for your time here and you should be proud of that!!
KEVIN
We, too, never got to speak but you fought hard in the arena to come back and its a shame you came up just short but i respect you and your determination!
SARAH
Sand, I'm glad I met you because you were super friendly and just generally nice to talk to outside of game shenanigans. Also I love that your name is sand.
TOMMY
You were a competitor I think you kinda got screwed by being voted out in the triple because I remember how well you did when we were in the arena together and seeing you vs. Nicole and Juls was wild. Good luck in future ORGs!
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EVE
My heart, my soul, my everlasting woman…. Juls…. Seeing you go was so heart breaking I really was rooting for you in that pressure cooker, and wonder what the outcome of the game would’ve been like had you beaten Nicole and Jacob. It just seems like you’re always the Bridesmaid, never the bride :(  But one day you will be the bride.
KEVIN
JULSSSS MY LOVE…. MY LOVE… MY HEART!!! You were so incredibly robbed and im so sorry i couldn’t do anything about it, you’re a beautiful person inside and out and i love you so much and we WILL get to actually PLAY a game together i promise you that!!! Imma just need some time after this one you know <3
SARAH
You know everyone thinks you left too soon. The main village chat is NOTHING without you, you were absolutely one of the most social queens on the village chat. I know I'll see you around again, thank you for bringing life into the daily group chats.
TOMMY
You are one of the sweetest if not the sweetest person I've ever met in an ORG, and super friendly and kind. You're in need of a second chance because I guarantee had  you made the merge you would have done extremely well in this game, possibly even have won. I really hope I get the chance to watch you play another season!
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EVE
Hi Ben! I dont believe we ever really spoke for the 23 days you where except week 7 when we where in the arena together and you bowed out, which i still think was a bad move because I never like to see anyone just give up. Hope you’re doing well tho hun!
KEVIN
ah Ben, another person i had no interactions with but you had a tough road to drive in this game from an outsiders perspective, you bowed out of the arena and for whatever reasons i hope you’re doing good!
SARAH
Ben we didn't honestly talk too much, so I never got a chance to really know you, but I'm thinking I'll see you around some future games here and there.
TOMMY
We had so many conversations this season even when I was on my OG tribe and I really think your a nice dude. It would be nice to talk with you once the season is over! :)
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EVE
Beck…. Babe…. Listen….. I'm so sorry that I had to go against you and kinda throw your name out there, but it came from a place of I know how amazing of a player you where and If you would’ve made it to merge, you probably would’ve ran the game. I think overall for the time you where in the game, you did play a great one
KEVIN
BECK <3 you ugh you’re great an amazing individual…. But i know the dynamic was weird with juls and things got blurry, i wish you both could’ve survived unfortunately the game took a hard left and things went flying all over the place, i would’ve loved to play with you more investedly (if thats a word) but we didnt get the chance, next time <3
SARAH
Beck, I know you got turned on way too early, because you were so nice and you were a damn good team player. You made sure to do your absolute best in challenges and you were ALWAYS there for the team, which maybe went a little too unappreciated in the end.
TOMMY
AN ACTUAL KING! ❤️❤️❤️❤️😻😍😻😍😻😍😻😍😻😍 I MISS YOU SO SOOOO SOOOOOOOO MUCH. I can't believe you left me here after you promised me you would make the merge. I really loved getting to meet and know you as a person and out of everyone who went pre-jury you getting voted out hit the hardest, one of my closest allies and we became really good friends through out the game, hope we can stay in touch and you can show me some more dance moves!
Here's a song to tribute you king ❤️ https://youtu.be/0G3_kG5FFfQ
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EVE
Hi Landen! So basically when you went was kind of where I started making all these plans to better myself in the game, finding out that you were making alliances and then telling me about them and then making them and purposefully not adding me into them, hearing from others how much you “Don’t trust me” and I guess in a sense you where right in not trusting me, because along with a few others I made sure everyone was going to vote you in the end of that week. I think you’re a great player though, congrats on being the last Pre Jour!
KEVIN
landen!! We hit it off fairly well, despite the whole me supposed to go home you get out of tribal kinda thing otherwise we bounced off each other well, unfortunately the 3-way tribal round things got hectic and took a turn for the worst, and i guess it was downhill after that, but you play hard and i respect the heck out of that, you DEFINITELY made me nervous in this game (in a good way) :D
SARAH
Landen, I think you are a cool person, although I think you went a little too hard on the dishonesty in the game. I hope you weren't too put off when people turned on you, because you were a very strong challenge competitor and you remained social and talkative with everyone. You were a true disaster prince, and you knew the game well!
TOMMY
You played super hard which I respect. You were bold and I think that made you a huge threat in this game and it would have been interesting to see how we interacted had we ever been on the same tribe and get to know each other. Good luck in your other ORGs!
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heyekiel · 7 years
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Thank you to my litteral twin @th7thsense for tagging me this literraly took a month lol 1. Ultimate bias(es)?
Donghyuck is my son
2. who are your top 3 groups?
NCT
BTS
EXO
BTS and EXO are actually tied i actually listen to alot of everything but those three group are the ones i have the most songs of.
3. what are your 3 favourite songs?
Hiro - Soprano (I’m,, this song?? if you have time go check it outtbh)
It’s our fight - Steve Jablonsky
Another World - NCT 127
4. what do you like to do in your free time?
slepping
reading fanfic in bed
staying in bed
being on my laptop in my bed
writing lyrics (in bed lmao)
editing/giffing sometimes
watching vine compilations (seriously those have ruined my life i cant)
5. are there any places you would like to visit that you haven’t already visited?
asia is a place we dont really learn about in europe so,, there (China seems realy pretty,, Vietnam too? idk if its the right spelling but Tibet?) and Poland  and Greece.
6. do you have a dream job?
producer/composer/lyricist. Im aiming for sound engineer right now? but im hoping this evolves into something different. I can always do both wich is great.
7. if you could meet ANY korean CELEBRITY (includes actors, models, k-music artists, etc.), who would it be?
I’m gonna choose more than one cause im the one answering and i do what i want lol. The producers of the 7th sense? im pretty sure they were a korean team. This instrumental was mindblowing,, amazing. I want them to teach me their ways no lie. Also? B.A.P Himchan? he’s the one frome B.A.P that actually has the musical knowledge because boy graduated uni,, and i feel he could teach me a lot. Now if we couple that with Yongguk that could actually be the perfect duo. Chanyeol too? He learns everything from scratch and gets better and better and learns piano and composes and learns so many new things all the time and?? I want him to teach me lmao
8. what do you love most about your bias group(s)?
They‘re all so close to each other and idk,, they kinda feel like home now?? It’s just you know,, i dont have friends and my familly is,, sigh. So like,, having a satable thing to rely on that kinds of mirrors a family feel i guess. And I meaan the not blood family the real type of family love yknow,, you choose your family. And like,, i’m uncomfortable seeing any of them any other than like,, brothers to me? so like,, when i go home and it’s been a terrible day I’m like,, what has everybody been up to today,, and i just dont feel like i want to die as baD anymore lmao.
Tbh this just sounds weird but like yeah bye.
9. who are your ultimate bias wreckers?
Ten, Yuta, Hansol (biTCh u better debut), and Taeil. Theres so many and I’m so indecisive sorry not sorry.
10. what do you wish for the most to happen?
I want to study what i wanto study. And be happy with myself and find a good middle ground for how i look and feel? Just feeling like I’m me in my body u feel. And stop being this fucking lonely and alone.
11. when did you get into kpop and how?
Two,, years ago?? i think?? My lil sister showed me fantastic baby then dope then beautiful night i was like biTCH. 12 hours later m was not a 5sos stan no more lmao.
12. what made you decide to have a tumblr blog?
i just wanted memes and funny dumb shit to laugh at,, and learn english
13. favorite colour?
black,, and those deep deep red almost black and white.
14. favorite animal?
wolf
15. what are your interests?
music?? Generally all kind of arts but theres some that i dont,, put much thought into tbh i just enjoy. MUsic cause i tend to dissecate everyhing,, and also cause i want to make it my job but yeah. Psychology? and Comportementalism,, like figuring out what means what in body language thats cool. Also im comuse learner so anything i find interesting i’m rly curious abt?? i’m gonna learn about it. OH and genetics. I’m in med school and right now this is genuinely the only intersting thing happening everything else is so general.
16. would you prefer movies or music?
music. cause it makes u make movies in ur head so hey
17. what would you like to achieve (or experience) before the age of 60?
die lmao. nah more seriously i want to?? settle down?? have a nice little house with my best friend/s slash soulmate/s and just,, live with them?? like ive always wanted to have this kind of life?? cause i think friends are way more important that people consider them to be and it makes me ,,, sad?? like i’d marry my best friend ?? idk people seem to think friends are just,, side pieces and yall fucK OFF (im stopping now i was about to ranT)
also i’m tagging ?? @jenolees why not i feel like u wont but hey!, @skeletonsungjin (!! hi), and @iluvparkjihoon (i literally typed shinehaechan siGH)
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