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#i haven't had to worry about sleeping alone for the past 3+ years that my gf and i have lived together

lucy90712 · 4 months

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Road to recovery- part 3

masterlist Gavi stayed quiet for the next few hours which I used to do some of my uni work as I've neglected it a bit this past week despite having not gone anywhere. I only stopped when someone brought us both in some food for dinner which made me realise how hungry I was after not eating anything since yesterday before my surgery. I will admit the food didn't look exactly appetising but I was so hungry that I tried my best to ignore the look and the taste.

"How are you eating that it's disgusting" Gavi said taking me completely by surprise

"I'm starving I haven't eaten since midnight yesterday so I'll take anything although this isn't great" I said

"Well I'm going to get someone to bring me some food do you want anything?" He asked

"If you don't mind that would be amazing I'll find way to pay you back" I said

"There's no need for that I offered so I'll pay" he said

After earlier I expected him to not like me and to just ignore me until we leave but clearly he either wasn't as bothered by my questions as I thought or he has a very short memory. Not knowing much about Gavi I didn't have any idea of what he'd be like but knowing he's a famous footballer I assumed he'd be a bit arrogant and maybe not the nicest person but my assumption seems to be very wrong. The fact that he offered to get food for me and pay for it changed all of my assumptions about Gavi as there's not many people out there that would do that for a stranger let alone someone like him who has no need to even speak to me.

Gavi asked me if I had any preferences on what he ordered but I told him to just get whatever he wanted as he was paying and I'll eat anything. I imagine he usually has a diet to follow like I do but if there is any occasion where we can break it without being told off I imagine that's now. Although I can't wait to get back to training and competing I think I'm going to enjoy the break from the strict routines and diets as for me that's the hardest part.

"So how did you end up here?" Gavi asked breaking my train of thought

"I was practicing a new vault for a competition as I'm a gymnast and I landed right on my leg and now I'm here" I said

"You're a gymnast that's cool I don't really understand much about gymnastics but what level if that's the right word do you compete at?" He probed further

"It's not easy to describe but I was selected for the olympic team for next year but that's not going to happen now" I said

"I'm sorry I know exactly how that feels it's the euros in the summer too and I'm going to miss that" he said

"Yeah it sucks but my brother always tells me things happen for a reason so I'm gong to take this set back and use it to motivate me to get even better" I said

"I don't think I ever asked what your name is I'm sorry" he said

"Don't worry about it I'm Lola but the way" I said as I reached over to shake his hand which made him laugh

"It's nice to meet you Lola I'm Pablo or more people call me Gavi but I assume you knew that already" he laughed

"Do your friends call you Gavi or Pablo?" I asked out of curiosity

"They mostly call me Gavi but my family calls me Pablo but you can call me whatever I'll answer to either" he said

Pablo and I kept talking and getting to know each other even when Pablo's dad brought us the food he ordered we kept talking in between taking bites. He told me all about football but also more about him as a person which I enjoyed listening to as its always nice to get to know the person behind what the media see and he's truly a lovely person. I got the sense that Pablo is the type of person you can't help but love once you get to know him as there doesn't appear to be a bad bone in his body. Out of all the famous footballers I could've ended up here with I'm glad it's Pablo as he's actually really normal and fun to talk to.

~~~~~~~~~~

Overnight Pablo and I didn't sleep much as we spent a lot of time talking and then we watched movies together until we must've both eventually fallen asleep. I was woken up by a nurse coming in to do her regular checks and then another doctor came in and made sure both Pablo and I were up so he could tell us that after lunch we would be discharged but first we both had physio sessions one after the other. As he had his surgery first Pablo went for this physio first so I used the opportunity to get up and brush my teeth and hair as I know I look a mess after yesterday. I also texted my brother so he would know when to come and get me as he promised to pick me up or more like volunteered himself as he's sure I'm lying about sharing a room with the Pablo Gavi.

Once Pablo was back I had my physio session which wasn't much fun as it just left me in a lot of pain. With how hard it was to even move my knee a little bit it made me feel quite down about my chances of having a speedy recovery and getting back to training any time soon but it can only get better as time goes on right. When I got back Pablo seemed to sense that I wasn't feeling so chipper anymore as he made his way over and gave me a hug or at least his best attempt while using crutches. I didn't know how much I needed a hug until Pablo hugged me, somehow it just made me feel so much better it was exactly what I needed to lift my spirits and being in his arms made me feel weirdly at home. As we both packed our things ready to be discharged he kept me talking about anything other than sport or our injuries which was really thoughtful of him.

Before I knew it the doctor said we were free to leave so the both of us quickly text whoever was coming to pick us up then we just had to wait. My brother knew we would be getting discharged not long after midday so he was already in the area so it didn't take long before he was knocking on the door to our room. Once he came in I couldn't help but smile as he got to see that I wasn't lying just because I was bored I have actually been sharing a room with Pablo this whole time.

"Are you ready to go sis?" Alonso asked me

"Yeah just give me one minute to go to the bathroom" I said

"Hey man it's nice to meet you thanks for keeping her company in here" Alonso said to Pablo trying to find a reason to talk to him

"It's no problem she's lovely it was nice sharing a room with her" I heard Pablo say making me blush a little as I came out the bathroom

"Lola before you go can I have your number I think it would be good for both of us if we kept in touch" Pablo asked while scratching his neck clearly nervous

"Of course give me your phone and I'll put my number in" I said

Once I handed him his phone back Alonso took my bag and we walked out the hospital together. Alonso wouldn't stop staring at me as I focused on making my way out of the hospital and into the car which was harder than I though as I have no movement in my knee which you really take for granted when you have it. Even once we were in the car Alonso didn't go anywhere he still just stared at me.

"Do you have anything you want to say?" I asked

"First of all you weren't lying and secondly you gave him your number I just don't know how you managed that" he said

"I'm just the best that's how I managed it" I laughed

"But seriously I have no idea I don't think the past 24 hours will ever feel real" I said

Alonso drove me back to my apartment and helped me get settled before he left as he has his own life to live. Seeing as I was finally alone and feeling a bit better about life I decided to take a selfie to share with my followers as I know some people care about my journey and are worried about the fact that I didn't attend the last competition.

Pablogavi started following you

Pablogavi liked your photo

#gavi imagine #gavi imagines #pablo gavi imagine #pablo gavi imagines #gavi #gavi oneshots #gavi x reader #pablo gavi #football imagine

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mollywall-e · 5 months

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WIP Chapter 3 of Take Me Home (RDR2 AU)

As the hazy orange light of the flaming fields fades, the moonlight shimmering across the water providing just enough light for visibility, the ever-present buzz of adrenaline begins to settle. Imogen rows, and rows, and rows, finding comfort in the repetitive motion, clinging closer to the coastline the further north they travel.

The stretch of land between Braithwaite Manor and the Temult homestead is quiet, the roads too dark to be deemed safe at this hour. Most folks have long been tucked away in bed, preparing for the next day's work. There’s bound to be a few drunken stragglers livening up the old saloon in town. If they haven't passed out already, that is. But from the boat, the town of Rhodes is a mere speck on the horizon, too far from shore to pose any real threat.

They're alone. For now.

As if on cue, the dim light of a poorly tended campfire comes into view along the cragged shoreline. Imogen slows her rowing, scanning the campsite. To her relief, she finds it empty. No signs of movement, no one keeping watch. Just a handful of empty canvas tents and a campfire that's more ember than flame.

Raiders, likely out on their nightly “patrol” of the roads. They've been set up in the pasture west of the Temult homestead for years now. The law is too lazy to do anything about it, but Imogen's managed so far. She knows their routine, knows to keep her distance. She also knows to sleep with her daddy's old shotgun on the nightstand. She hasn't had to use it so far, but it's a comfort nonetheless.

“We’re basically there now, Laudna,” Imogen announces, steering the boat towards the shore. The girl startles a bit at the sound, shaking herself from the silent stupor she'd fallen into. Imogen continues, quieter. “My house, it's just past that camp there.”

Laudna says nothing, wide eyes reflecting the reddish orange glow of the dying campfire, growing larger as they rapidly approach the shoreline.

“Don't worry, no one's there.” Imogen rushes to reassure. “We're safe.”

Laudna nods, barely perceptible, and mutters. “Safe. We're safe.”

The water grows shallow as they approach the shore. Once they're within a handful of yards, Imogen sets down the oars and climbs out of the boat. Her boots squelch in the muck as she steps into the knee-deep water, pleasantly warm despite the late hour. Grabbing the back of the boat with both hands, Imogen pulls it ashore, the worn wood of the bottom scraping against the shale-laden soil.

“Alright, Laudna,” Imogen holds one hand aloft, the other remaining to hold the boat in place. “C'mon out.”

Laudna shuffles to the back of the boat, stumbling a few times before righting herself. She hesitates for a moment, eyeing the water lapping at the shoreline with a thinly veiled fear.

“It's just a little water, it's not gonna hurt ya,” Imogen assures her, voice soft and certain.

It’s strange how easily the words flow while still feeling alien in her mouth. The quiet comfort, the careful cadence. It's so far removed from the barking of orders, strained attempts at small talk, and outright hostility she's surrounded by every day. She's not sure where it comes from, this inexplicable need to comfort and protect a stranger, but it’s consumed her since she first heard that humming. Like the natural instinct to soothe a frightened child, or to tend to a wounded animal.

She's not sure how effective it is, but her clumsy attempt at comfort is enough to get Laudna's attention. Those eyes, wide, dark, and terribly frightened, glance away from the water. They lock onto Imogen, searching for something. Whatever she finds in the lavender irises is enough to dissuade her previous doubts, quickly clutching onto Imogen's offered hand and clambering out of the boat.

“S'alright, you're alright” Imogen's eyes smart with the sudden flash of pain as long, jagged nails dig into her palm, but she breathes through it. “It’s alright, I gotcha.”

Imogen can't help but sigh in relief as Laudna lets go of her hand to scramble further inland, beyond the water's reach. Imogen discreetly shakes out her hand, palm ridden with freshly carved, crescent-shaped divots, before shoving the boat back out into the open water. She watches it drift for a moment, desperately hoping the gentle breeze and residual current from the river will carry the boat far enough away to clear them of any suspicion.

“That should do it,” Imogen mutters more to herself than her new companion. “Right, this way.”

Imogen guides Laudna through the rolling fields, giving the campsite a wide berth, until the Temult homestead comes into view, delicately perched atop a sloping hill.

If the fence surrounding the property had seen better days, Imogen wasn't around for it. It's been rundown and haphazard for as long as she can remember. Nearly half the pickets are missing, rendering the fence almost entirely useless. Imogen had taken to using some of the remaining wooden panels for repairs, so it was good for something, at least.

The rest of the exterior was in a similar state of neglect: overgrown grasses, rusted hinges, and boarded up windows. Though covered in a persistent ivy that Imogen had long since given up on clearing, the house itself was well-crafted and structurally sound. Except for the goddamn stairs, that is.

“Here we are…home, sweet home.” Imogen announces, doing her utmost to ignore the white-hot sting of shame simmering in her stomach. As the pair slows to a stop at the base of the stairs, Imogen scratches at the back of her neck, turning to face a wide-eyed Laudna. “Just…watch your step, alright?”

Imogen leads the way up, holding her breath as the remaining wooden stairs groan underfoot. She stretches across the freshly created gap, huffing a sigh of relief as her feet safely reach the infinitely more stable porch. She turns to help Laudna along, only to find her already standing beside her. Poor thing's so emaciated the wood didn't so much as squeak under her weight.

“C'mon, let's get you inside.” Imogen fumbles with the knob for a moment, before the door opens with a familiar creak.

The interior of the Temult home is entirely dark, to be expected well past sundown. Ushering Laudna through the doorway, Imogen quickly settles into her normal nightly routine, kicking off her muddied boots and locking the door behind them. She checks it again just to be certain.

“Just one sec, lemme get some light goin' for ya.” Imogen comments under her breath, grabbing her matchbook from her pocket once more.

Flitting about in the shadows through sheer muscle memory, Imogen lights the oil lamp she keeps on the table and the handful of candles she keeps across the mantel, dancing around table corners and errant chairs with a practiced ease. The flickering orange and yellow light quickly floods the interior, revealing it to be exactly as she left it this morning: a bit cluttered and covered in a thin layer of dust, but cozy all the same.

“That's better,” Imogen announces, turning back towards her new house guest.

Laudna hasn't moved an inch since being let in, hovering in the entryway with gangly arms wrapped around her sickly frame. Like she's trying to take up as little space as possible. Like she's trying to hold herself together. Maybe both. Imogen goes to step towards her, but stops herself. Instead, she busies herself straightening the picture frames scattered atop the mantel, drifting over to one of the two armchairs in the main room and fluffing the pillows.

“Come on, have a seat while I find you something to eat.” Imogen punctuates her sentence with a few pats on the long-flattened cushions, hoping it looks at least a little inviting.

Laudna eyes her for a moment, eyes the chair, and takes a small, shuffling step forward. Then another. And another.

“That's it, there you go,” Imogen coaxes, smiling a bit to herself as she watches Laudna collapse into the seat. She takes a few steps back, so as not to crowd the girl. “Comfortable?”

Laudna nods, though she doesn't look up at Imogen. Her gaze is drawn to the threadbare cushions, fingers idly twirling the stray bits of string.

Imogen watches her for a second, before turning on her heels to head back towards the kitchen.

“I'm afraid I don't have too many options,” Imogen calls over her shoulder, reaching up to open the kitchen cupboard. The cabinet is pitifully empty, save for a couple of cans, some cobwebs, and a particularly robust cockroach. She vows to go to the general store in the morning. “We got kidney beans, sweetcorn…” Imogen rotates the cans so she can read the label. “...or corned beef. Any preference?”

“...beans, please.”

Plucking the can from the cabinet, Imogen pulls open one of the drawers, grabs a knife, and pries the can open, careful to leave smooth edges. She grabs a spoon, plops it into the can, and shuts the drawer.

“Alright, now. I got a deal for ya,” Imogen drawls, walking her way back towards Laudna. She waits until the girl looks up to continue her offer. “This can's all yours. I can even get you another one, if you want it. But once you're done eating, we've gotta talk, alright?”

Laudna tenses a bit, eyes bouncing from the can, to Imogen, and back to the can. “Alright.”

Imogen sighs and holds out the can, quickly snatched by spindly fingers.

Rather than using the spoon, Laudna raises the can to her lips, tilting it as if drinking from a glass. She hesitates, growing sheepish as she catches Imogen staring.

“Go on, then. drink up,” Imogen encourages, nodding towards the beans. “Manners don't matter too much to me. Especially not with you starving the way you are.”

Laudna wastes no time in delving in after that.

#imodna #imodna fic #my fic #rdr2 au

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queerbuckleys · 1 year

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YOU MADE HER LIKE THAT [1k | buckley siblings | 6x10 spec] {ao3}

a/n: ending inspired by this post by @buckleyirondad <3. title from mad woman by taylor swift.

TW: reference to canonical suicide attempt.

There have been moments in Maddie’s life where everything has gone right. The past few days have been the opposite of that. Especially the past few hours. It had started with a quip about Jee’s bed time. Then how Chimney wasn’t here as if he wasn’t working. She was starting to hate the fact that this house had a guest bedroom.

She stood her ground. Pointedly skewered her parents. Then they had disappeared until now.

The rain pelting against the windows. Thunder booming. Lightning cracking the sky. The house was still. Jee is scared enough to not want to sleep or be alone, as she plays in the living room under Maddie’s watchful eye. She is still feeling the fire burning like there was more to say. There were decades worth of pain.

“Maddie, we wanted to come down and apologize,” her father begins. And it only douses more gasoline.

“For what? For everything? Never loving your children. Leaving me when I needed my parents to save me?” her phone begins to ring, “Not seeing what was in front of your faces. I wanted to die for 30 years, I almost took my own life last year and you never entered my mind as something to come back for.”

Her phone is incessant. She finally picks it up, “Chimney, I am in the middle of something so this-”

“Maddie, it’s Buck,” she hears the fear in his voice. It’s an echo of Bobby’s last year, “it’s bad. You need to get here fast.”

HEr entire body shakes,

“He was struck by lightning while up on the ladder.”

“Oh god, Buck.”

Her parents raise their heads watching their daughter with scrutiny.

“I’ll get there.”

She hangs up with a shaky finger.

“I, I need to go. I don’t know if I can-”

“We’ll drive you,” her father replies softly.

---

“Your son is in that hospital, dying.” Maddie breaks the drive long silence as she opens the car door her mother still stares blankly forward. Her father gulps but says nothing. She gathers Jee in her arms.

“You can leave her with us.” Margaret says.

“No. If this is her last chance to be with her uncle I am not taking that away from her.” She slams the car door.

She holds her daughter tight to her chest as she walks through the doors. Her legs are still a bit shaky and her eyes trying not to cry too preemptively.

She finds Chimney's eyes immediately in the waiting room. They hold the question with baited breath. And she shakes her head. “It's just the two of us.” she says quietly.

She finds home in his arms for a moment.

“What happened?” she begs, “Why was he up there?”

Chimney clears his throat, “he was finishing up the call, and it started raining and before he could get down the lightning struck him,” Chimney swallows and eyes Eddie who’s sitting with his hands twisted in his lap. “He was hanging, and Eddie, Eddie, went up to get him. But he was up there for a few minutes before we got him down. Maddie, he died up there. We got him back, but he was dead. I thought for a second that Ii was going to have to tell you— that I—“

“Can I see him yet?”

“They’re still getting him set up in a room. Should be soon though,"Bobby replies.

She lets Chimney take Jee completely as she makes her way across the waiting room to Eddie. worry etched deep in his eyes.

“Eddie,” she takes his fidgety hand in her shaky one, “thank you.”

He finally looks at her, lip between his teeth.

“I haven't saved him yet.”

“You gave him one hell of a chance.”

“Maddie,” she hears Chimney say with a new sort of worry in his voice. She looks up and sees her parents standing there, faces still blank.

“No. No you do not get to change your mind. You don’t get to come in here because you know you’ll be judged if you don’t and that is the thing you fear the most isn’t it? Why you hid everything from him? Why we moved. So no, you don’t get to come here for yourselves. To feel better about giving up on him three times. Because you don’t get to start caring now. You are thirty years too late. Fuck you and get out.”

They don’t move.

“This. This is what you will be judged for. It's even worse than if you had just driven off back to Pennsylvania when your son died out there. And you are standing in front of the people who saved him. Brought him back to this world, who put their own lives at risk for his. So shame on you for trying now. You don’t get to anymore. Leave.”

They still don’t move, defiant looks on their faces.

And she glances at Bobby whose face is stoic and focused. He moves between them and her standing to his full height. As she crumbles into Chimney's arms again.

“She told you to get out.” His voice is calm and stoic, laced with anger.

Athena comes back from gathering some coffee and snacks and reads the situation carefully and stands next to her husband raising an eyebrow.

“You heard them. Would you like a police escort?”

They quickly turn on their heels not having said a word in their defense or redemption.

The minutes tick by slowly until a nurse comes and tells them he’s ready for visitors and Maddie takes Jee in her arms and makes her way back, Chimney following close behind.

He looks so vulnerable. Small even.

“Buck! Uncle Buck!” Jee gleefully shouts as she sees him in the bed.

“He's sleeping, baby, be gentle.”

“Uncle Buck sleeping?” Jee says gentler this time and nods, “Good night. Sleep tight. Sweet dreams. I love you. See you in the morning sunshine.” she repeats their nightly chorus softly patting her small hand on his big one.

Chimney takes Jee again and Maddie takes her brother's hand on hers, stroking his knuckles.

“You can’t do this to me Evan. You can’t make me lose both of you. Promise me that?” she hooks her pinky in his limp one, “You come back to me, you hear me?”

#911 #evan buckley #maddie buckley #usermoonlight #userbuckleyhans #tuserksn #tusercourty #userceecee #usersharky #useroliii #useryb #userweres #911fic

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ox1-lovesick · 1 year

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★ — stargazer. kth

pairing. astronomy major!kang taehyun x gn!reader genre. fluff, college au warnings. none (?) wc. 1.3k

synopsis. there are two things that taehyun loves most in this world. stargazing, and you. although stargazing with you, might just climb it's way to the top

a/n. HAPPY TAEHYUN DAY !??!! (ignore how late this is) in my solomon era. FIRST WORK OF 2023 WOOHOO (i forced myself to write this) she's not online rn but this is simultaneously for my day 1 @lsrfmxt i miss you sosososo much and i hope you enjoy this when you see it 😔 also mind you i am in no way an astronomy expert all information is from google and bing LMAO

you've always been fascinated with the stars ever since you were younger.

the only way your parents could get you to calm down from a tantrum was to take you outside and sit you down in front of the sky, letting the stars soothe your worries. most kids your age would prefer dinosaurs, or hello kitty, finding your interest with the planets a bit much for their little heads. it was a bit much for anyone since you could go on about them for hours on end.

"i've seen it a thousand times but it's still just as breathtaking" taehyun said, making you hum in agreement. it took a while to find someone who was as enamored with the sky as you were, and it didn't help that your fascination only grew as you did. the highlight of your day was climbing up to the rooftop at night and watching them twinkle in all their glory, tracing constellations with your fingertips. for most of your life it was just you and the stars, not really having anyone to share your love for them with. but then you found him, in your second year of highschool

you were so similar to each other that it almost scared you. your professor had assigned you as partners for a research project and you bonded instantly. your love of the night sky stemming from childhood, being the only thing that kept little you entertained. the way you both would stay up until the early hours of the morning trying to find every constellation and zodiac you could, even forcing your parents to get a national geographic subscription to watch documentaries about the planets and other galaxies. you were practically the same person down to the T.

"we should get going soon, we have to be up early" you reminded him. it was 3 am on a thursday, meaning the two of you had an early morning of classes to get to "5 more minutes, i haven't seen it yet" his tired eyes still trained above you

it was promised (by earthsky.org) that venus would be most visible today. of course, you both are busy college students so you didn't sacrifice hours of sleep on a website alone. with some research of your own using stolen lab equipment, you and taehyun had figured out that it would in fact, be visible from earth throughout the course of this month. so here you were, sitting on your campus grounds staring at sky

the both of you had planned this morning for weeks. figuring out what day would have the most promise of you seeing the planet without the use of a telescope, how you were going to sneak out of your dorms and what you would do should you get caught, and most importantly what snacks you were bringing. although with no sight of venus for the past hour and a half, the whole thing was proving to be quite a bust.

"i don't think it's going to show, tae" you sighed.

"we'll see it, i promise. just have some patience" he asks, fingers tugging at your sleeve. "i've had patience, for 2 hours now. besides, venus isn't going to disappear, we can come back tomorrow"

"no, we can't" he breathed, almost soft enough that you didn't hear.

taehyun never liked staying up late, despite that being exactly what his major needed him to do. every time you went stargazing with him you were on a time limit. two in the morning was the most he could take before getting sleepy, so you'd usually head back to your dorms by now, but today he was adamant

"something up? you hate staying out late"

he sucked in a breath. squinting his eyes at the sky. why was it being so cruel to him the moment he needed it most "i wanted to impress you. so, if venus doesn't show in all it's bright red glory that would mean all the calculations i did were wrong. also, kai hates sleeping alone so i had to pay beomgyu to stay with him for the night."

he runs a hand through his hair, moving his fringe away from his eyes. it had completely slipped your mind until now, he'd been researching so diligently you'd almost forgotten just how much he hated doing things like this, despite how many nights he'd spent complaining to you.

his fingers still playing with the hem of your sleeve. "you wanted to impress me?" taehyun looked to you with wide eyes "no- i mean, you're the top of our class and always calling me useless so i had to prove myself or something..." you stifled your laugh to save him some face, but you couldn't help the smile tugging at your lips as he shied away from your gaze.

taehyun had always hated star tracking, because like most things within your major — at least right now without the proper equipment — you could never be on point. he craved precision, and that's what kept him ahead until now. you on the other hand loved it for that exact reason, knowing you could never guess 110% was the best part of it, and your professor agreed with you. he loved giving you assignments with no definite answer, seeing how far you were willing to go. it frustrated taehyun, and made his grades drop significantly, while you stayed at the top of your class

he spent hours- no, days doing something he hated just to impress you.

"you don't need to impress me" you chuckled. "it wasn't to impress you, i needed some practice in that field anyway.." he mumbled. "is that so?" "can we just keep looking for venus please" he cleared his throat, allowing his gaze to shift back to the sky. you chuckle, allowing yourself to do the same.

you sat in a comfortable silence for a little bit. lying under the stars. the sun would rise soon, and then you'd have to get ready for another day of endless work, there was a possibility beomgyu would tease the two of you for having 'alone time' together like he always did. but you weren't going to think about that for now, taking in the morning breeze against your skin, and basking in the feeling of taehyun's hand tightly wrapped in yours

"why work so hard, taehyun?"

his face scrunched in confusion. "what do you mean?" "it seems a bit useless, no? giving it your all when you'll never be able to see how far your research will go" he makes an 'o' shape with his mouth. you've talked about this before, whether it was all worth it or not in the end. he obviously had to work hard, he needed to get good grades, get his degree, and eventually get a good-paying job, that was the end goal, no matter what job you had

but that wasn't the answer you were looking for, it wasn't the answer he wanted to give you in any case.

"I work hard for you" he starts

"I work hard so that one day you can say "my husband is an astronomer""

he didn't dare to look at you just yet, afraid your silence was a rejection. he took a leap of faith, hoping that everything wasn't just in his head, and all the lingering gazes and touches did mean something.

"astronomy does seem like quite useless as a profession. but that's what makes it fun, isn't it? knowing there's so much out there that you couldn't possibly see it through to the end within your lifetime. it's intriguing. and besides, i can't be second best forever. i'll have to surpass you someday"

he catches the grin spreading across your face in the corner of his eye. breathing a shaky exhale in relief

"are you saying you want to marry me?" he feigned annoyance "out of everything i just said that's all you caught?" you didn't reply, looking at him expectantly. he shrugs in response "maybe"

"okay, deal. if we spot venus in the next 10 minutes, you have to take me on a date"

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robinismywifee · 8 months

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Back to the Old House - Chapter 3:

July 21, 2034

[5 days after Chapter 2]

Raines age: 16 years, 5 months

Ellies age: 15 years, 2 months

"When you cycled by.."

CW: Raine struggling with eating

Words: 2020

Masterlist

Raines POV:

I layed in the bed of Maria and Tommys guest bedroom. This has been what my past 4 days have been looking like.

Just me, laying in bed, staring at the wall or ceiling, eyebags hanging low, with my thoughts.

About 98% of my thoughts were of my mom and how i'm gonna find her. Where I could look, how I can escape this place, how long its gonna take, but how worth it it'll be once I see her face.

The other 2% was how tired I was and how badly I wish I didn't get saved and just had died right then and there.

I didn't let myself think of Ellie. She stayed out of my mind. That whole day of talking with Tommy and Joel, that poor nurse, stayed out of my mind.

I didn't move an inch once I heard a knock at the door.

"Can I come in?"

It was Maria. I really didn't want her to. I just wanted to be left alone.

"I'm gonna come in anyways" Maria said after a minute of me not answering her. I heard the door open but I stayed in my position of laying on my side staring at the wall. I felt a dip on the bed- Maria sat on the foot of my bed. I felt her hand touch my ankle.

"You haven't aten 3 days.. and when you ate it was only half a meal"

Yeah, so?

"And god knows how little water you've geen drinking"

"Can you talk to me please?"

I glanced at her, "I don't get why you act like that" I mumbled, it felt weird to talk. I hadn't it 2 days.

"Act like what?" She asked softly,

"Like you care" My voice was quiet and tired.

"I do care"

"No. No, you don't"

"Why do you think that?"

"Cause why the fuck would you care for some girl you've known for 6 days"

"I've known you for-"

"I was unconscious it doesn't fucking count. And you don't know anything about me, I've said 2 short paragraphs to you, tops."

"I know that you've been through a lot. I know that you're just a kid. And that's enough for me"

I scoffed, but didn't say anything.

"Can you please just do me a favor?"

I stayed silent again, still not looking at her

"Can you please come out with me for dinner? just try to eat. Just try, thats all I want"

"M' not hungry"

"You're gonna starve yourself to death. I know its hard, but you have to eat.

Look, if you're not gonna try for me, try for the other people that care"

"Shut the fuck up Maria, nobody cares for me and it's okay, i've been used to it. Stop fucking pretending"

"I'm not pretending. If nobody cares for you, then why did Ellie save you? Why did she stay in that chair holding your hand in the hospital bed for days straight. She even forgot to eat from how worried she was about you."

I rolled my eyes, "Do not make shit up just to make me feel better"

"You think i'm making shit up? I've never once lied to you, and I dont plan on it ever. If you don't believe me, ask anyone if Ellie stayed with you in the hospital.. I'll be waiting in the living room for you, take your time"

Instead of declining, I stayed silent. Did Ellie really stay with me? Did she really hold my hand? Why would Maria lie this much about that? What if shes telling the truth? Fuck. I need to stop thinking about her.

After awhile, I was ready. I brushed my teeth and hair, and put on shoes. I looked in the mirror. I had a vertical cut right under my eye, I think its gonna be permanent. My eye bags were hideous. I never felt uglier.

I walked im the living room to see Maria staring at her watch, "i'm ready" I said to her, voice low. Maria turned to me and smiled. "You look nice. You'd look even better if you got some sleep though. Did you try those pills?"

She asked as we headed out, "Uh. Yeah"

"Well?" She asked looking at me, but I just glanced at her, "Did they work?"

I shrugged. Yes, I woke up and had to run to the bathroom to throw up from my dream. Maria sighed, rubbing my shoulder at my lack of conversation.

"Well, I have more if you want them."

I stayed silent again, No, I dont fucking want them, unless I don't get that nightmare I have any time I fucking sleep.

We walked in silence then, well, Maria pointed out how nice the weather was and shit, but it was pretty quiet.

As we walked, I heard a girl from afar.

"Ellie! slow down! we're gonna crash!"

I immediately turned to where the girls voice came from. I unconsciously frowned at the sight of the same girl, from that night that Ellie held hands with, the girl behind Ellie holding onto her waist as they both were on a bike, Ellie peddling fast.

"Oh, come on! It's fun, just hold on tighter!"

"You're gonna kill me!"

Ellies mouth opened as she laughed, her head leaning back.

Her eyes shinned like the stars with joy.

Her smile was genuine and gentle.

The strands of her hair that escaped from her ponytail danced around the wind.

"Hey! keep your eyes on the road!" the girl said.

Ellie laughed again, her smile bright. "But you're making me laugh"

"I dont care! Please slow d-"

"Hey" Maria shouted, I jumped at it as she also shook my shoulder slightly, "You okay?" she asked with a worried expression, I shoved her hand off of me and moved past her to try and find Ellie and the girl, but they already were gone. "Raine? Is everything okay?"

I couldn't bring myself to speak, it felt like my mouth was sewn shut. I could feel my chest rise up and down faster and it got harder to breath.

"I.." My shakey voice started, "can we.." I let out heavy breaths, "go back"

Maria had guilt in her eyes, "Yeah. Yeah, lets go back, come on. I'll make you food at home."

I don't even remember the way back to Marias. My vision was blurry from tears in my eyes and I didn't even know where I was walking, my head was down as Maria was just leading me the whole time with her hand on my back.

I felt so stupid. Why did I suddenly get like that? All teary eyed and hard to breath? Just from seeing Ellie Williams laugh and have fun?

"I- i'm sorry, Maria" I panted out once we got home, all the tears I was holding back on the walk came falling down.

Maria shut the door and went on one knee to get more to my level since my head was down still. "Hey, don't be sorry, you tried. That's all that matters. Do you want to talk about what happened? Why it happened?"

"I-"

I couldn't even make out a sentence, I squeezed my eyes shut and covered my face with my hands feeling embarrassed. "It's okay, Raine. You don't have to. I can't even imagine what you've been through. Just focus on your breathing, okay?"

I nodded, hands still covering my face, and tried to do what she said. "Just breath slowly, in and out, could you do that for me?"

She guided me through catching my breath until I was calm and stopped crying, both of us still in the same position.

"You don't wanna talk about it, do you?"

I quickly shake my head embarrassed, she nodded. "Can you still try and eat? I can make you a sandwich"

I nodded, slightly, "Good. You'll get sick if you don't"

Maria made me a chicken sandwich, and I ended up eating it all. It was hard, but it shouldn't be. Thinking back to all the times were I would eat literally anything I could find it felt weird to not want to. For it to be hard, to eat a real, fresh, sandwich.

୨♡୧

After that day, everything has been very stiff and miserable. It had been weeks, of just laying in bed, eyes dry from not blinking, eyes sagging from lack of sleep, and shoving food down my mouth.

It had been weeks, and i've probably only gone out of the property 2 times.

Maria was starting to get really worried, I could tell everytime she made me get out of the bedroom to watch a movie with her, just to do something.

I sat at the dinner table alongside Maria and Tommy, eating venison and vegetables.

"So, Raine, how have you been feeling lately?"

Tommy asked.

"Fine"

I replied. Noticing how they both glanced at eachother, not believing my single word.

"Well, me and Maria have been doing some thinking.."

I glanced up at him suspiciously, Tommy had his mouth opened to continue his thought but it seemed he couldn't find the right words, so Maria took over.

"We just think that it would be good for you to be outside. To get out of the house, get some fresh air. Get vitamins from the sun.."

"I do go outside. I read out there" I state, motioning behind me to the back door.

"Yes, you do go outside in the backyard.. but we were talking more.. social."

My heart dropped at her words. I mentally scoffed at myself for my heart pumping at just one fucking word.

"W-what do you mean?" I knew what she meant.

"Well.. maybe you could, start working around. Something you like to do. You like books, maybe you could, work at the library? Maybe teach the younger kids how to read and write?"

I shook my head, "m'not good with kids" I mumbled. I wasn't even lying to get out of it, I honestly just don't have the patience for that young of children.

"Okay well, do you like farming maybe? It's simple and relaxing.."

"No"

They nodded, "Well.. does any job sound interesting around here?"

I stared down at my food, picking at it with my fork thinking. "I'm good with killing?" I said, unsure of where that would take me. "Oh.."

"Then, hows about you do group patrol?" Tommy asked in a pronising tone.

I furrowed my brows together, "No, m'not good with groups, they slow me down."

Maria and Tommy glanced at eachother. "Even though you are only 16.. we could.. make an acception" Maria started, glancing back to Tommy, who looked suprised.

"What kind of acception?"

"We usually only let people who are 18 or older to do partner patrol, but Jesse has been asking me a lot lately if he could start early, as hes also 16.. and he is really good out there, hes fast, won't slow you down. Maybe you two would work really well together."

"I, uh, don't know who Jesse is, but if he's fast and not annoying, then I would like that"

Maria nodded, a small smile present on her face, she turned to Tommy, "Yeah, I think- I think that would he great" Tommy nodded.

"Great. Raine, whenever you're ready, just come and talk to me and i'll take you to the shooting range so I can see how you are with your gun, I trust that you will do well out there considering how far you've come, but just to be sure. Does that sound okay?"

I nod my head. Is this really my future? Will I really stay here forever? Why am I just giving up on my mother like that. I don't even deserve to live here safely with food and water, not with what i've done. With the thoughts i've had.

༶•┈┈┈┈┈┈୨♡୧┈┈┈┈┈•༶

#the last of us #ellie williams #ellie williams tlou #ellie williams tlou2 #ellie williams x female reader #ellie williams x oc #ellie williams x reader #ellie williams x you #back to the old house #ellie williams fanfic #ellie williams fanfiction #ellie williams series #the last of us part 2

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icedmetaltea · 9 months

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Ventin

Just got the rest of my stuff moved into my parents' camper, using a hotspot so the internet is barely there, spending the night before heading out on a 9 hour trip. I had a panic attack just driving here and it was under 30 so I'm kinda petrified about tomorrow.

Idk it's all kinda flooding me at one time, you know? The realization that I'll be gone, away from my cats, away from my sibling, away from the room I've lived in like 3 years, and not only that but I'll be alone. Sure my parents will be close by but what after 3 months? They said they hope I'll like Alabama and choose to move to an apartment like 30 mins away so I'm close but have my own space. That sounds nice and all but the past month has been completely debilitating and made me feel like I can't live on my own.

Now I'm surrounded by unfamiliar smells, sounds, sensations and people (I haven't seen my parents in two years, and I've only interacted with my step-dad irl once) so everything feels just... cold. Cold and dark. I feel like I made a huge mistake and should've stuck it out at my apartment but at the same time I know my sibling would've booted me out eventually to get my own place anyway.

Which is dumb bc my parents have done so much for me, even if it took them a while to get here. I shouldn't feel like this. Realistically I'm telling myself I can pump myself full of dramamine and possibly melatonin and sleep through most of the driving but I'm also worried I'll be entirely awake and lucid for it all.

Yeah I haven't had 7 hrs of sleep the past 5 days yet again, not as bad as it was before but I'd appreciate a solid amount for once. It's like the mirtazapine isn't as effective idk. But it's not like I can phone my psychiatrist, I'm supposed to find a new one once I get to AL and like. Finding one here was hard enough, and we're in a city. Where my parents live is out in the middle of the woods so like?? What if my anxiety/depression gets so bad I have to go to the ER again???? The nearest one is 40 mins away. So I'm fucked

But yeah just thoughts. I hope they're just thoughts.

#irl stuff #vent #tw anxiety #tw depression

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honeybeekao · 2 years

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Oh you finished secret service do you have any Eden thoughts about it or is it mainly madra related

90% of my SS screenshots are madara or kohaku however oh my god i didnt truly get how funny ibara is until i read this. like my thoughts on him are he is an evil little creature who for some reason has so much power it's insane

BUT HE'S ALSO SO PETTY? amusing. that's the word im looking for he amuses me a lot. the comedy of them both silently thinking here gets me, madara is so intuitive i adore him

(translation by hyenahunt) SS spoilers ahead

he's smart but the fact he didnt see madara betraying him from a mile away... okay girl. (side note MADARA WHY DO YOU. LAUGH IN YOUR INNER MONOLOGUE IM GOING TO GET YOU /loving)

also i generally like jun already ive read like so many random little stories so already being acquainted with him, hes my best friend. think the eden dynamic makes my heart melt theyre sooooo fun to observe. i understand why hiyori is like that in textposts now also love him I DONT HATE ANY ENSTARS CHARACTERS so my opinions are either positive or neutral. i NEED to see more im so bad at reading but i promsie to read Gang n conquest Soon jfdfjfxj ANYWy Umumyny i just???? secret service was so enjoyable. So so good, ignore i binge read all 30 chapters at 3 am on no sleep

NAGISA. THE WHOLE CONSPIRACY ABOUT THE GODFATHER BEING REPLACED i think i had to reread it like 3 times because what the Fuck. enstars LOVES replacement subplots. i also didnt really know much about nagisa before, i'd seen the eden anime eps and my first 5* in 2020 was his dream of the wasteland card. i find him really endearing, and and see.. unlike madara, /i/ can understand his ramblings <33 eden are just very compelling i think, theyre the most keychain-core of the cast i would get eden merch. have i mentioned kohaku yet no i haven't um okay so he's actually my favorite character in SS ngl

the way he genuinely does care about madara and sees right through him

You've got it rough,

Madara-han. That's exactly why I can't leave ya alone.

his entire role in this story feels a little protagonist-like. wanting so Badly to just fly around the world to find madara because the guy won't answer a single message and he's tied down by the preliminary regulations that Somehow rinne has decided they're following. he worries about mama getting into trouble but equally thinks about his life in general. how madara sacrifices his own happiness and dreams for the sake of working for the lesser-evil of justice. constantly on the move and he's never got his guard down, always pretending.

kohaku's inner monologues are just so, profound and thoughtful, i adore him. he's very caring

"Once I rip off all those masks you're wearin', I know I'll be able t'see the real you."

ALSO HIS ANALYSIS ON THE IDOL INDUSTRY??? i hate that this 15 year old is so eloquent he makes me insane.

OH MY GOD AND i loooved kohaku's interactions with eve. learning about how their respective units contrast eachother— but they both have similar roots of "everyone involved has a rough past"

"I'm a living corpse."

gatekeeper as a villain is also amusing to me good god. i wanna see the entire temple scene animated do you understand how much i wanna see madara kick gatekeeper away then IMMEDIATELY be in a staring death match with kohaku? THEIR ENTIRE FACADE FIGHT IS SO FUCKING GOOD it's so good i love the words shot at eachother.

"You're a nice kid. There's gotta be some psychological barriers that'll stop you from killing me."

as the expert in the skill of murder that he is, i personally would not be able to handle even a 10% chance that kohaku was serious. MADARA COULDN'T FULLY TELL BUT JUST HOPED HE'D GOTTEN HIS MESSAGE. theyre both silly fools and the fact that hiyori just had to watch like "What . is going on Huh". one of my favorite scenes in enstars ever

i could ramble sbout how kohaku's instincts to scold madara like a mother is so intriguing to me but i should do that in its own post probably. gosh he's the coolest kid i love kohaku

#enstars #this isn't an analysis i just really enjoyed secret service #translation by hyenahunt #kohaku oukawa #madara mikejima #ibara saegusa #nagisa ran #alex 🥔#secret service es

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swiftieflor · 7 months

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I've always been a nightbird. Since I was a teenager, I've always had trouble going to sleep at night. I used to go to bed and lie in the silence of my dark bedroom, imagining fake scenarios and dreaming about the night skies. I've always been the biggest dreamer. I've visualized so many scenarios in my mind, and with so much intent, that I always knew they'd become a reality at some point in my life. I'd dreamt about what I wanted for my life; move to New York City, travel the world, find real love, become a writer (or a Hollywood actress). But I also dreamt about the fantasies we have as little girls; I was a princess being rescued by a chivalrous prince, or a small town girl moving to a big city and finding love. I've dreamt of living in the middle ages and wearing beautiful gowns. I've fantasized with time travel, and what adventures I would have if I could jump through time and space. I've imagined myself living in a small cottage, wearing flowy dresses while I paint and feed my ducks. But then I would wake up and my life was still the same. I was still in my room, in my small town, in my end-of-the-world-far country. And don't get me wrong, I love my country. But I was not made to live here forever, I have dreams bigger than what this land can hold.

I've always been a lonely girl. Few friends. And living too much in my head. As a girl that was not so cool, I didn't have a great time at school. But as an adult I've come to cherish my moments of solitude and my few, but strong and full of love, friendships.

I've always been drawn to the moon, and maybe that's why I'm trapped in sleepless nights. Maybe the moon needed my company as much as I needed—and still need—hers. Some years went by, but it is still 3 a.m. and I'm still lost in my thoughts and feelings. The only difference is that now, besides my fantasies and fake scenarios, I also rummage through the chaos and comfort of my mind. I find it hard falling asleep because I'm still not in New York. I can't sleep because I have fears. Sometimes I can't sleep because little ghosts from my past come to visit. And most of the time they don't hurt me, they just want to come by and say hi, but sometimes that's enough to send me spiraling into the saddest corners of my soul, or the loneliest places too. I can't sleep because there are so many things I haven't accomplished yet, and I feel I'm running out of time. And some other times I can't sleep because I'm so happy with my life that going to bed seems a waste of life. We tend to worry a lot about what we want and wanted, and are afraid of not getting that. But life. Damn, life has the funniest ways of loving you and giving you what you want, or need, or deserve.

When Midnights came out a year ago, I was still the 28-year-old girl talking to the moon at 3 a.m.—and I think I'll forever be that girl—but now I'm not alone. Midnights turned out to be all those feelings, thoughts, fears, and moments of joy I've had throughout my life of sleepless nights. I've never felt so identified in something like I did with Midnights. And for the first time in my life, I came to terms with my late night dreaming, and fantasizing, and crying, and wondering. But what's most valuable for me is the fact that Midnights became a great solace for that little girl that stayed awake every night wondering if her life would ever be like one of those fairytales she liked. I can now look back at that little girl I was and feel that all those sleepless nights are not painful anymore, because Midnights is right there with her. You, Taylor, are right there with her. With me.

Your music was a big part of my early teenage years. And then I rediscovered myself and your music again a few years ago. I've never felt so seen and understood as I do when I listen to your music. In a world where I've always been the big sister, it's so comforting to have you as a big sister. Someone I can come up to for a word of advice—which I always find. I listen to your music when I need someone to cheer me up when I'm feeling low, or to help me feel myself again. But your songs are also there when I need some sad tunes in a moody autumn day or in a summer night drinking some wine while stargazing. Your music has pervaded my life, and I can't think of myself without thinking of your music. I am so extremely grateful for you and to you; for what you are as a woman and for all you gift us with your music.

Thank you, Taylor. For your music, for your lyrics, for your character and integrity, for your silliness and warmth. For helping me heal my inner teenage girl. I'll always be by your side, like you are always by my side.

Love,

Flor 🌸

p.s. see you on tour 11/10 for the first time EVER!!!!! 💖💖

@taylorswift 🤍🦋💫

@taylornation

#taylor swift #taylor swift midnights #midnights #meet me at midnight #swifties #taylor nation #1YearOfTSmidnighTS #taylurking

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thequirkychameleon · 2 years

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31/08/22 - The Blip

It's almost reaching the end of the first month since year 4 of medical school started and almost 2 weeks of placements have passed. It has gone by so quick but all my days feel like they speed past like this. Sorry, I'm trying to think of what to say cos i've been wanting to post in like forever and now that I'm doing this my INFJ brain is thinking of all the different things i wanna write faster than i actually can write or articulate.

Anyways, placements are going alright. It was long anticipated since this moment finally feels like i am studying to become a doctor, although 'overwhelming' is a complete understatement and the feelings of imposter syndrome appear in waves. It's hard to take initiative on placement to do things as many things involve supervision or teaching and I just feel bad pestering the busy doctors/nurse/staff who are there to look after patients. I was very happy last week as everything was new and I learned to do new skills such as venipuncture and ECGs, however this week I haven't really pushed myself and feel more like an idiot wallflower who can't answer any bloody question that the consultant asks in a ward round that they now don't even acknowledge my existence. Gosh I'm so dramatic I'm cringingggg.

I am currently drowning in procrastination when i probably should be going through the billion online content or contributing to extracurricular commitments or engaging in social activity hence I decided to post, but honestly it's really hard to think of things to say when I'm feeling like a zombie - burnt out ALREADY. i've been wanting to write in my diary for months or do something creative but just haven't due to this burnout, which is usually due to my studies or giving time to others rather than myself which i cant help. It's not usual of me to feel this pessimistic because i do consider myself an optimistic individual generally. I would love to be able to have the time to do my home workouts, stretches, read a book (can't remember the last time I finished a book i know terrible) or even eat healthily again - time is truly of the essence. if time allowed it or there was no such concept I would LOVE to just escape my room and ponder into the outdoors alone with my earphones and smell freedom without worrying about tomorrow. It's honestly the little things in life that lifts you.

I am literally so motivated to learn more in terms of googling what i don't know while on placement and i make a list, but after a whole day on placement who has energy to do work when they come back?? And let's not even talk about my sleep pattern... thank god we have to wear face-masks on placements cos the amount of times I yawned while seeing patients on a ward round. Why do they offer mental wellbeing support at the uni when your timetable doesn't even allow you time to even seek it or process how you're feeling?While a lot of my medical knowledge is coming back to me that i had forgotten due to a year of intercalation, I realise the more you know, the more you don't know and the past 3 years of uni life feels like an actual blip. Hopefully the next time I post it would be a positive one.

Take care of yourselves :)

On a positive note, I'm looking forward to travel back to my OG flat (currently living in hospital accommodation in a different town) this weekend and meet my friends - i need some healthy interaction! As a side note, I would love some online like-minded friends on here and feel free to send any questions!!

'Cause I'm in a field of dandelions, wishin' on every one that you'd be mine'

#mental health #blip #medical school #medicalstudent #zombie #health #university #i need to stop procrastinating #procrastination #imposter syndrome #wake me up #help lol

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trans-axian-archive · 4 years

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hmmmmmnmmmm Not. to talk about sad personal things but.. this is the first unexpected pet death I've had to deal with since I was 14 and the first pet I've had to,, Find since I was 12 and I have to.. do it all alone??? like. ALL alone. for the first time? I moved out literally less than a month ago so... no dad to help me through it (he's on a trip, most of the time he doesn't even have service) and my best friend is out of town until saturday like she legit left this evening so I'm just,, in the house all alone.. and I. don't really know how to do any of it? how to dig a small grave isn't really one of the adult things your parents teach you before you move out. but on top of that I have to worry about my other bunny..... everything is already very stressful because of the move + it's vv hot here at the moment and now he's probably very lonely and confused and sad. rabbits can die from stress and loneliness so I need to find him a new friend but my house isn't even Unpacked all the way yet and who knows when getting another bunny won't feel so...,. Rotten

#DONT RB!!!!#I got all of you're very kind asks... keepin em in my inbox for now because they make me feel nice #I haven't even... processed the actual.. event yet #its been literally like 3 hours so of course my brain hasnt caught up #but I still have to stress about the reality of the logistics even if I haven't processed the reality yet #I don't really remember how to grieve this kind of way #like I said the last unexpected pet death I had to deal with was when I was 14 and even then we knew she was sick #for the past few years all the pets I've lost (rats) have been sick and we Knew we'd have to put them to sleep #and just had them on medicine to make them have a comfortable last few weeks #even if we didn't Know like. we Knew #the grieving sort of starts when your pet gets really sick #but this came. out of nowhere #I think it was probably the heat and stress #I just...... don't really know how to fit inside this experience #and I feel very very alone #my rats are all very worried about me.. they heard me yellin downstairs and they can Tell anyway #my other bunny and I are sort of.. figuring it out together #I just don't know where to put all of my feelings #anyway... sorry :( these are not nice and fun things to talk about :(#ghost posts #not mdzs

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sooniesspot · 3 years

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Coming Down | myg

Okay, so here's the second installment of my BADLANDS Series. This is loosely based around Coming Down by Halsey. I realise I haven't really done them in a specific order, just the one I am pulled to next to write.

Warnings: Dom!Yoongi, Sub!Reader, mentions of slight work stress and societal pressures of being a woman, you know. All that good stuff.

Reader is a F E M I N I S T and proudly so. Loose mention of not wanting kids (which is fine btw) this is just a whole load of smut, not much fluff as it's FWB but.

Okay so, oral, f & m receiving, face fucking, fingering, multiple orgasms, rough sex, light spanking, choking (for like a milisecond) use of ties, slight sensory deprivation, slight body worship, overstimulation. Slight name-calling?? Yoongs says kitten ironically. Use of safe word/safe signal. Yoongles has a Sir Kink. (I can only apologise) Reader has a hand kink (obvs) just wants to get off and relieve stress, Yoongi is happy to be their relief.

word count: 9.8k 👀🐸☕ don't @ me

'I found God, I found him in a lover'

It was a normal Thursday evening, you'd finished work at 6pm on the dot and took the bus home. Fishing for your keys as you approached the front door of your apartment. Key in the lock, turn. Open. Silence. Walking into your hallway, slippers not quite on the rack by the front door as you rushed out of them into your heels this morning. Just where you left them. Sliding off your heels with a sigh as you trudged into your slippers, immediately comforted by the soft memory foam that supported your tiresome toes. Returning your heels to the rack. Shrugging off your bag and long coat, reaching nearly 2 feet above you on your tiptoes to hang your bag and coat on the coat rack. Muttering to yourself like you did every day. 'Coat and bag, then heels. Won't have to stretch so much.' Venturing into the living room. Magazine on the coffee table infront of the sofa where you had left it last night.

Empty. Not that you expected anyone to be home. No one making you dinner you didn't want, or taking up the whole sofa, or hogging the remote. You lived alone, and you liked it. Sure, for a pretty young girl in her mid twenties you often had looks and questions.

'When are you going to find the one?'

'When will you settle down and have a family?'

And truth be told, you didn't want to settle down. You had told your mother from a young age that you didn't want children, whether that would change over time or not you weren't sure. It hadn't changed. You still wanted your independence and that was okay. Women were not put on this earth just to bear children and you were the firmest believer in that. You liked your life just the way it was. A job you loved that you worked hard for, an apartment you were proud of and nearly every night you got to sleep in your own bed, alone, no one to whine at when they snored or your body being used as a warmer for their cold feet. The few nights you were away from your bed came from your once in a while rendezvous with an acquaintance of yours. Although you knew eachother more than mere acquaintances should.

You met at a bar some time ago. Lights flashed, sure to give you a migraine and music so loud your eardrums could burst at any given moment. You were dragged out to this stingy bar by your bestfriend in her attempt to finally get noticed by that one guy. Even in her twenties she was still as smitten as when you were both back at school. You wore a simple black dress with a low cut front, skirt just above the knee and plain black heels. Hair not much different to your everyday, maybe a few waves here and there and some more mascara than your normal work volume. Trying your best to blend in but still having the ornate ability to have eyes on you in any setting.

You spent a lot of time on the dance floor until your friend had found her prey and you circled around the bar. Much rather wanting to stay at home with a tub of ice cream and your cat watching some terrible reality show about Cabin Crew on a cruise ship. Shouting at the TV to throw the nasty woman overboard; waving your spoon at the screen as your cat looked on in understanding almost. But here you were, slumped against a sticky varnished oak bar, propped up on an old velvet stool, twisting your straw in your glass, nonchalantly spinning the steadily melting ice as you listened to your friend talking to her guy. Suddenly feeling a hot hand against your lower back and someone lean over the bar between you and your otherwise occupied friend. Looking up at a pale man to your left.

" Whiskey on the rocks. " came his order to the bar tender; sharp, leaving no room for anything blasé.

Catching his eye, he looked you over once with a subtle bite of his lip and the flick of his tongue at the seam of his mouth; eyebrow raised with a lingering smirk before he vanished into the sea of people again with his drink.

Dumbfounded, you sat there, staring at the now empty spot where he had been mere seconds ago, the now cool expanse of your lower back where his large hand once was, fizzing. Swinging round on your stool, propping your elbow on the bar behind you, your eyes scanned the room. It wasn't the biggest bar. It wouldn't take long to find him.

Soon you caught eyes with him across the dance floor, stood with his taller, tanned friends as he held the whiskey glass firm in his hand; talking amongst themselves. Dark Brown, almost black hair feathered across his forehead, just above his twinkling chocolate eyes. Thin upper lip pressing to his plumper bottom lip before perfect white teeth graced your vision in an endearing gummy smile. Eyes still not catching you between the bodies of people dancing. Several silver hoop earrings in each ear. He wore a long black sweatshirt, black ripped jeans and boots. A couple of silver rings adorned his strong fingers.

You took a sip of your drink, gaze intermittently fluttering in his direction as you scanned the room, your friend had left to go and dance. Eyes found her and you nodded, knowing she was fine. As your stare focused back on the man before you he finally looked up, catching your eye with his, dark and mysterious. His lips pulling into a smirk again as he gazed at you. Heat bubbling in your chest from his wandering eyes on your body through the gap in people on the dance floor. He eventually made his way over to you and whispered a few words into your ear. Cool and calm.

" Come back to my hotel. "

And so you did. One slightly drunk, intense one night stand later and here you were, 6 months down the line sleeping with eachother whenever he was in town. A classic Friends With Benefits situation, although you weren't really friends.

You walked into your kitchen, greeting your ginger tabby cat with a kiss as she meowed at you in greeting. Grabbing yourself a glass for water and pouring kibble into her bowl on the floor, your routine monotonous but you didn't mind. Your cat tucking into her dinner as you filled up your glass, taking a sip. Looking at delivery menus on your fridge under old magnets from previous travels, deciding on Chinese; plucking the menu from the fridge, you had a training day for other colleagues at work tomorrow which meant a day off for you. No needing to cook dinner and get an early night tonight. Placing your glass and the menu on the coffee table in the living room, you switched on the tv, chucking any random show on then bumbling along to your room, opening the door. Greeted by quiet and serenity. No dirty pants on the floor or unmade bed. You smiled with contentment, unzipping your dress to pool at your feet before tossing it into your wash basket. You looked at yourself in the mirror, your most dependable black bra and panty set glaring back at you as you fixed your hair into a ponytail and wiped off your makeup. Throwing on a sweatshirt and some leggings. A short while later you plopped yourself down on the sofa and switched on the tv, greeting your cat with a scratch under her chin as she sauntered into the room, hopping up on the sofa with you.

Zoning out to the world around you as a terrible drama played on in the background as you glanced over the menu, not really paying attention to anything in particular. You had been a little stressed over the past couple of weeks, mounting pressures of a new senior in your department threatening to change everything you had sculpted into a balanced working environment over the last 3 years. Societal pressures and backhanded compliments from your mother's 'garden party' friends concerning whether or not you were defective in choosing a man. Or having one choose you. But in reality, the truth is, you had a stable relationship previously, unfortunately he was a dick and you're not stupid. So the single life had been your rather quiet reality for the last 18 months. No one to answer to or to worry about. Just you and your cat.

Your mothers friends never seemed to understand that, always too engrossed in whether or not you had a man on top of you every night to see that their husbands had found other, much younger women to be on top of. All of this filtering through the crack in your hardened shell, filling your mind with alternate realities until you got a text coming through. Cutting through all the fuzz that piqued in your brain. Picking up your phone, you saw who it was. Him.

'I'm in town, come over?'

Your reply was short and sweet.

'Sure, be over in 20.'

Snapping out of your previous thoughts and placing the menu back on the coffee table you sat and pondered for a minute. This was fine. This was what you needed. To let off some steam, in a judgement free setting. No cold glances your way, or harsh words uttered, unless it was you being tied to the headboard again like you had been convinced to try last time with his unadulterated gaze looking down at you writhing underneath him. The thought alone had your hair standing on end and a shiver running through you as you stood from the sofa, heading to your room.

Sifting through your wardrobe to pull on some old trainers, checking yourself in the mirror not really knowing why. In your hallway you made sure the lights in the apartment were off and your cat was happy, tucked up in the corner of the sofa snoozing away. Making sure you had your keys and phone in your bag, you left, key in the lock, turn. Locked. Walking down the hallway and down to the ground floor, heading out of the building to head right. The hotel he always stayed at was only a block or so away so the walk was relatively short. The sun was setting now as it hid behind the skyscrapers that canopied the city. Passers by making their way home or even to work. Still lots of cars on the road and bicycles that weaved in and out of traffic. The breeze was light and cherry blossoms danced in the air, separating from a tree as you passed a nearby park. The air was cool, as it would be in early May. Not too hot. Reminded of your journey, that first night.

'When his hair falls in his face and his hands so cold they shake'

You had left swiftly after his original proposition, making up some story about your cat or an early work meeting or something. Anything to get you out of there and with him. His hand returned to the small of your back as you left the bar, being ushered into an awaiting taxi outside. Shuffling all the way over to the other side, he slid in next to you blurting out the address to the hotel at the driver. Hair falling in his face. Eyes wild as they sparkled from the reflection of the dim streetlights. Smirking at you as the same powerful hand you had grown accustomed to on your back, made a home on your knee, slightly tucked under the skirt of your dress. It was now cold to the touch. Strong and intimidating as the taxi started to drive away. Not being able to take his eyes off you he leant forward and whispered in your ear.

" You look so delicious. " His voice low that reverberated through you, straight to your core as he squeezed your knee. Uttering the last syllable with a kitten lock to the shell of your ear.

To this you bit your lip and shifted uncomfortably in your seat. His hand, in turn sliding further up under your dress to the wider expanse of your thigh. The material of your dress pressing his hand taught against your skin.

He swooped down to your ear again, pressing an open mouthed kiss under your ear before he whispered " can't wait to taste you. "

You keened away from his grasp to no avail. He knew what he was doing to you, breath shallow and flighty in your chest as his teeth tugged at your earlobe.

"Please " You breathed, the first word you uttered to him.

Not really sure what you were pleading him for but the fire in your chest and the dampness of your panties flourished an urgency within you that was incorrigible. He smirked again at this, eyes dancing like Fireflies in the night. The hand that was to his side while the other hid between your thighs came up to cup your cheek, turning your face towards him.

"Soon. " He chuckled before biting your lip.

Drawn back to reality, passing people and cars. Your trainers pulling you towards your destination as your head had an argument with your feet. Was this a good idea? You didn't want to get yourself into a situation where either of you caught feelings. You were a pro at being a cold hearted bitch now but the odd sincere glance your way, especially from him seemed to melt your resolve, even just a little. Recounting the previous times you had taken this walk and what it would lead to.

After your first night with him, it was like a drug. You always wanted more. To say he was good in the bedroom was a complete cop out. He was...He was something. Made you feel things you'd never felt before and noises you'd never in your wildest dreams imagine yourself making. At decibels only a dog could hear. So once the addiction started, you started seeing one another everytime he was in town. Sometimes a couple of times in a week. That went on for a solid 4 months and as work pressures mounted, you fell distant. Always busy catching up with work or having some alone time with your thoughts and your cat. He also got busy, having to travel more for work. You didn't really know much about except it was important and you felt based on the guitar he always packed with him, propped up against the wall in the corner of the room, it was something to do with music.

'I found a devil, I found him in a lover'

The last time you had seen eachother had been a little over 2 weeks ago. That night you'd stayed, which didn't come easily. You were adamant you would leave as soon as you'd cleaned up, even telling him so as he helped you wash in the bathroom, almost requesting a second round when he looked at you through the mirror with those sparkling brown eyes like the devil, but you had been so wound up and pushed to your limits that you felt sleep take you as soon as your body hit the mattress again. Memories of restraints, dark water colours that created the murky palette of his hotel room and the low thumping of your heart, even as you entered the apartment, seeing him there, a tie in hand and a coy smirk. That night he had called you. He never called.

" You busy? " He sounded gruff like he'd just finished working out - which you knew not to be the case.

"When am I ever busy? " You rebuttled with a laugh.

He joined you, then you could hear him grin down the phone. A different sort of grin. A devious one.

"I wanted to try something. "

There was quiet, you wished him to continue silently.

"Something I can't stop thinking about doing to you. " He whispered lowly.

Your ears on fire and furiously red in the face you hung up. Chucking a quick 'omw' text to him in return. That night had been the best sex you'd ever had. That's why you'd stayed. For fear of walking into oncoming traffic at 2am because of your disorientated state.

Your heart skipped a beat at the anticipation of what was to come once you knocked on the door and it sent a thrill through you. Rounding the corner you were met with a bleak grey concrete block of apartments that made up the hotel with a black sign. Crossing the street after looking both ways you jogged up the steps as you saw the door beginning to close after a couple just exited. Sliding in you headed straight for the elevator.

He always had the same hotel room which avoided any confusion. You ran to the elevator that had just opened and pressed the 7th floor. Alone again your mind wandered to your first night here, in this lift.

You'd both stumbled out of the taxi and shuffled over to the lift, he pressed the elevator button furiously as he got impatient; leaning against eachother. As soon as the lift doors were closed he pressed you against the wall, face millimetres from yours as his nose skimmed over yours. Both of your breathing, laboured and slow. His large hands roamed your body; your waist, up and down your thighs. Gripping at the flesh as if he owned it. You wanted him to. God you wanted him to own all of you in that moment. Gaze intense and unwavering as the mysterious glint in his eye grew. His hands slid around the curve of your ass which made you stutter, giving it a harsh squeeze that made you lose your breath.

"I'm gonna ruin you." He whispered devilishly in your ear as he bit the shell.

Pulled out of your reverie as the elevator doors dinged open, signalling you had reached your floor, face burning as you stepped out of the lift, cold fingers pressed to your cheeks to try and cool them. Preparing yourself for what man would greet you at the door. You never knew which one you would get. Sometimes he was ravenous and you never made it to the bed, lipstick smeared and tights ripped as he never had time to waste when he felt such a desperate need for you. Or you would get the cool calm and collected man that caught your eye that night all those months ago. That was, until he got you here. Alone with him.

Walking down the corridor to his room now, counting the doors as they seemed to go on for miles, dark in wood with numbers etched in gold with golden handles. Your breath starting to slip away from you as you imagined as soon as you opened that door you wouldn't be able to breathe steadily again for a while. Room 93. (Shoutout to Halsey's first EP) There it was. You slowed to a stop, almost nervous to knock. 'Just knock' You muttered to yourself. Rolling your eyes as you fidgeted on the spot, sighing as you raised your hand to knock on the door. Knock. Wait. Silence.

You were waiting for a little while which was unlike any other time. Checking your watch and the door number. You waited a little longer and you were just about to walk away when the door opened slowly. You turned; met with the same dancing brown eyes you caught in yours all those months ago, although slightly sunken, maybe he hadn't been sleeping well? His lean frame propped up against the door. Arms folded over his broader chest. Hair fluffed over his forehead, slightly damp. Pale skin flawless and glowing against the dark background of his hotel room and the darkness of his simple black tee and sweatpants. Silver hoops still adorned his ears and rings still glistened on his beautiful hands. Eyes unwavering as they honed in on you. Smirk playing on his thin lips.

"You're early." He mumbled all knowingly, looking at the rings that adorned his knuckles, as if he were about to connect them with a wall.

You stuttered, heart in your mouth as you gawked at the man. Feeling like a naughty school girl that was about to get a ruler spanked across her a-. You stopped the thought for fear of collapsing in the hallway. His eyes still on you, looking you up and down. You mentally slapped yourself for your attire. Sweatshirt and leggings. Not sexy in the slightest. Anyway. Why did you care? Not like you wanted to impress him, right? After another beat his strong arm pulled you in the room by the collar of your sweatshirt, closing the door swiftly behind you and pinning you up against it.

"Just means I have more time." He whispered against your lips.

Sweeping strands of hair out of your face delicately, tucking his fingers behind your ears. He smiled at you, his gummy smile. You never thought that smile would be directed at you. Let alone in this setting.

'With his lips like tangerines, and his colour-coded speak'

His lips moulded to yours with a sudden urgency. Teeth and tongue caressing your lips with power and want. Heavy breaths exchanged as you dropped your bag; hands trying to find purchase somewhere sturdy and stable. Deciding upon the strength of his arms. Eyes closing as you were swept away in the moment of teeth and tongue and pent up tension and wanton need for eachother. His fingers pulling out your hairband so your hair pooled around your face. His fingers lacing through the soft locks as he grinned against your lips. Always having an ornate infatuation with how silky your hair was. How good it felt wrapped around his fist as he fucked you into the mattress. How it spread out behind you like waves across the crisp white bedsheets, framing your face perfectly as you slept.

He missed this. Maybe he missed you. Jolted back from his sweet thoughts, hearing you start to mumble against his lips as he continued to pin you up against the door, your head firmly in his hands.

"Yoongi." You murmured again, slurring the word slightly; drunk off the potent lust he cradled you with.

He never let up from your lips, intent on breathing you in. Hands untangling themselves from your hair as his cool calm hands landed on your shoulders, moving you away from the door to pin you to a wall, nearer to the bed. An eventual destination set in his mind. He couldn't get enough of you. Your hands travelled to cup his cheeks. His lips dry against yours gaining moisture from the saliva rolling around in your mouths as your tongues fought. Small whimpers beginning to swim their way into the air. Music to his ears. Of all the music he'd ever had a hand in creating, he wished he could emulate your tiny whimpers. Your cries for more of him. All of him. Wanting to devour him whole.

"Fuck" He exclaimed, finally pulling away from you, heavy breathing as his forehead was against yours.

Not even giving you time to breath he reached for the hem of your sweatshirt, pulling it over your head to reveal your gorgeous body to his hungry eyes. Knowing now that hiding from his gaze would be futile. An attempt at covering up would leave your ass raw and marks all over every single inch of your body. God's above. He made you feel like the only girl in the world, to him you practically were. He never sought out for any other attention or company from other women. The taste of you as often as he could have you was more than enough to satiate his heart.

He made quick work of your bra before throwing his own shirt off onto the growing pile on the floor. His hands, rough against your soft, plush breasts as his thumbs circled around your pebbling nipples. His teeth latching onto your bottom lip, humming as he looked into your steadily closing eyes. Teeth venturing south along your jaw to your neck and collarbone as he began to grab at the skin of your waist after he finished moulding your breasts; as if trying to memorise the feeling of them in his hands. The weighted comfort he had grown to adore about your chest. Teeth sinking in, enticing low gasps and the tiniest of squeaks as he would bite too hard on already sensitive flesh, intent on getting every inch of your skin covered in small indentations from his teeth. Tongue lascivious against the contours of your neck and collarbones, sickly sweet taste of your skin that drove him wild.

'Now we're lost somewhere in outer space, in a hotel room where demons play'

All you could do was pant and mule against him, your hands in his steadily drying locks. Suddenly pulling away as he untied the drawstring of his pants.

"Knees, now." He whispered authoritively and you happily obeyed.

Flicking your hair off your shoulder you sank down onto your knees. Eyes ignited with a fire he practically stoked out of you. You admired his body on the journey down. Body lithe and pale, defined arms and chest with a flat stomach, no six pack or defined v lines that led to the promising tent that you saw in your line of sight. Just a small happy trail of hair from below his belly button sneaking into the hem of his sweatpants. Swiftly taking them down and off you were greeted with black boxers, looking tight around his cock cased within. You licked your lips in anticipation as his fingers forked through the hair on your scalp. Looking up to his face as he gazed down at you with a stern look in his own eyes; burning into your already flushed skin.

"Someone looks like they've missed this." He smirked as your hand rose to palm him through his boxers.

He released a low hum at the feeling of your hand cupping his balls. You knew that he was very sensitive there, from past experiences.

"Does the slut want my cock?" He asked, a feather of a chuckle rumbled in his chest at your immediate nod as you ran your tongue over the seem of your lips.

Your fingers delved underneath the fabric as you began to pull them down. Sudden slap to your hands had you shying away from him.

"Hungry sluts have to wait don't they, kitten?" His eyes zeroing in on your reaction to the pet name.

You gritted your teeth in vague annoyance at the name, after the first night, you told him you had to be home for your cat. Finding it oddly adorable you were a cat lady he called you kitten ironically, now it's stuck. Your eyes looking away from him, turning your head slightly towards the large window that showed the rest of the city. Twinkling lights now shining in the moonlight. His hand gripped your chin, pulling your attention back to him, forcing you to look up into his devious eyes.

"I don't think you answered me, slut." He snarled; releasing your chin from his grasp.

Your heart jumped in your chest. "Y-yes, sir."

He smirked again, feeling triumphant he patted your head, thumb smoothing over your hair line with ghost like touches before running it along the seem of your mouth, popping his thumb in, flat against your tongue. Closing your lips around him, beginning to suck, big eyes gazing up at him.

"Good girl." He whispered before removing his thumb from your mouth and yanking his boxers down and stepping out of them.

His fingers danced through his damp hair as his cock sprung up against his stomach, a muted groan as the cool air touched his reddened and straining cock. Your eyes widened, never getting used to the sight of his cock, inches away from your salivating mouth, making your panties pool with a carnal need for him to be inside you. Your hands began to rub up and down your jeans clad thighs, waiting with baited breath for him to give you the command. This man and the things you'd do for him would have others question if you were a feminist or not. How a strong single woman with a steady career and bustling social life could want to be so utterly defiled by a man and be at his every whim really flipped your ideology on its head. But a drug was a drug, and you were high on him like cocaine.

"Alright, stop giving me those bedroom eyes." He gushed, dominating voice faltering as he gazed down at you, waiting and ready for him to let you begin.

You fluttered your eyelashes at him, big and bold. Biting your lip as your hands rubbed along your thighs again.

"Fuck, just get over here." He laughed, holding the base of his cock in his hand as your hands slunk up his sturdy pale thighs.

Fingertips sending sparks through his body. Your lips reaching his tip, you looked up at him again as you kitten licked his bulbous tip, testing it. Like testing a car. He hissed to which you smirked. You took your tongue to lick the underside of his cock lightly, teasing his frenulum before swirling your tongue round his tip several times. He puffed out a harsh breath but never said a word, fingers beginning to weave into your hair with a softness you were unfamiliar with. Surrounding the tip with your lips as you slowly sunk the head into your waiting mouth. Giving kitten links to the underside again as you sucked on his tip for a moment. Yoongis breath was heavy, you could tell by his chest moving, half lidded eyes looking down at you as you took more of him in slowly. Tongue still licking everywhere you could. Your other hand still positioned on his thigh as you rubbed small circles in it with your thumb.

Starting to take him deeper in your mouth and pulling him back out for breath had him seeing double. His vision was blurred as he could feel your heavenly lips wrap around his strained cock, precum and spit starting to pool at the corners of your mouth; threatening to spill as you bobbed your head back and forth on his dick. Setting up a rhythm you plunged him in deep so your nose touched his abdomen and he threw his head back with a grunt; gritting his teeth.

"Uh, fuck. Your mouth is so good" He whispered into the air.

'I've got a lover and I'm unforgiven, I'm such a fool to pay this price'

Your mouth worked on him as well as it could. You would take a lot of him in and proceed to gag which made him grunt. As your hand began to work at the base of his shaft. Giving him your all. Making up for lost time.

"Fuck, I'm not gonna last." He hissed. His hands in spearing through your hair as his thumbs rubbed at your scalp.

"I should've kept my hands to myself... Always impatient." He chuckled menacingly to himself; shaking his head.

Your breath was heaving as you pulled back from him. Hands gripping his thighs tight as you looked up at the man towering above you.

"What do you say, will you let me fuck your mouth like a good pet?" He asked, hands still in your hair.

"Make me cum, then it's your turn? How about it, kitten?"

No hesitation in your eyes as you gazed up at him as if he had hand painted all of the stars in the sky. You nodded profusely and he grinned at you; swiping the spit away from the corner of your mouth with his thumb.

"Good girl, remember your safe signal?" He asked, almost sweet in his tone.

You tapped the back of his thigh 3 times with your finger and he nodded. Feathering his fingers through your hair again, your hand still at the base of his dick lining him up to your waiting mouth. You gave him the go ahead as he thrusted shallowly into your mouth at first. Finally in your mouth his hands speared through your hair behind your ears to hold you still as he began to move his hips back and forth. You had done this before. Let him do this. But this time was so raw and so needy you honestly couldn't fathom how much you needed this. And it wasn't even your turn. He began to set up a rhythm working his length deeper with every thrust; starting to make you gag as you tried your best to relax. He breathed in sharply, his head thrown back as he pumped in and out. His shaft gliding smoothly across your tongue and beginning to slip down your throat as you sputtered around him. Hands firmly gripping the back of his thighs, the same way he was gripping your hair.

"Fuck, fuck. Your mouth. Kills me." He mumbled to himself; thinking you couldn't hear.

You looked up at him, a picture of bliss. Arms locked in place, keeping you still as he slid in and out of your mouth, picking up speed now. The veins in his neck; protruding under a velvet blanket of Frosted skin. Teeth gritted and brows furrowed. He looked down to see you already watching him. To this he groaned deep within his chest at the sight of you so willing and ready for him. Setting his nerves alight he could feel his orgasm approaching. Gripping your hair even tighter as he gave you a moment to breath before jackhammering into your mouth with a low whine.

"Fuck. Holy shit." He whispered before you felt his cock twitch deep in your throat and thick ropes of cum travel down it as he came; hips jerking at weird angles as you noticed sweat beading across his neck and collarbones; reaching up to his hairline.

After he had composed himself he pulled out of your mouth and you swallowed everything still left in your mouth before opening your mouth to show it was empty. He ran a solid hand through his own hair before he pulled you to your feet; planting a heavy kiss to your lips as he walked you back towards the bed. Practically pushing you back on it with a soft bounce. He suddenly rounded to the other side of the hotel room rummaging through a suitcase. Soon returning with several black ties in hand. Giving you a knowing smirk. You felt your stomach sink at the memory of your last adventure with this man. In this hotel room. With those ties. But judging by the look on his face and the fact his previously lifeless cock had begun to spring to life again; you knew it was different.

'I found a martyr, he told me that I'd never'

He began to move you up the bed to where he saw fit. Nodding when he had got you where he wanted. Straddling your waist he grabbed an arm tying the tie around your wrist to then loop it around the headboard. He soon did the same to the other one. Then finally you saw him gazing down at you from above before he slipped a soft silk tie over your eyes fastening it behind your head. Everything went black, but you could hear him; feel him. All around you. Feeling weight either side of your head you suddenly felt breath over your nipple; squirming at the sensation and your clothed pussy clenching around nothing. You felt him kitten lock his way along your breast before landing an unexpected bite against your neck, causing you to pull against the restraints with a sharp intake of breath.

"Remember your safe word, kitten?" He whispered in your ear.

You nodded. "Seesaw."

He sat back on his heels; still straddling you. Crossing his arms with a nod.

"Why is it Seesaw, again?" You ask, a grin sliding onto your face.

He chuckled at this before you felt weight lifted from the bed. You skin crawling with goosebumps as you waited with anticipation. Suddenly feeling deft fingers pulling your leggings and panties down in one swift movement. A beat of silence. Feeling like forever until you felt the same fingers, calloused but oh so soft against the skin of your collarbone.

"You don't remember?" He whispered into the darkness.

You shook your head no as your body began to squirm. Feeling his finger trail delicately down to your chest, followed by his other pointer finger on his left. Circling your nipples in precise motions. You sucked in a breath and your back arched as you felt him blow cool air onto the perking bud.

"Oh kitten, it was the bar where we first met" You could hear the smirk evident in his voice as his fingers trailed underneath the curve of your breasts.

"The night I took you home and ate you so good you nearly passed out." A dry chuckle left his lips at the gasp that left your own.

He began to drag his sturdy fingers slowly; tantalisingly, in soft motions towards your belly button where he would branch out with delicate touch; placing more fingers on your skin as they circled your hipbones. Finally sloping down to your thighs where his grip became firm and he pryed your legs apart to expose you to him. Heat flashing across your face as you whimpered at the action. Oh god. The things he made you feel. You felt electricity surge through your body, bouncing off your bones as you heard him hum.

"Mmmm. So wet, just from sucking my cock, kitten?"

You bit your lip with a whine; nodding profusely. Blush creeping across your cheeks. He seemed to like this as you heard a deep rumbled in his chest in approval. You could feel the bed dip slightly due to transferred weight. Right between your legs. Shit. If only you could see him. What was he doing? Was he pleased? Oh fuck, you didn't shave your le- your thoughts were far removed as you felt lips across the inside of your thigh; just above your knee.

"Shit, I can't wait to taste you." He whispered; sending cool air rushing up to your core.

Feeling his lips drag effortlessly along your thigh to where you wanted him most; needed him. He was tender; savouring the moment. He had missed this, giving you what you wanted. Watching you underneath him. Tasting you; devouring you. That's why he was so quick to cum the first time around. Too excited by the thought of having you again he had started to touch himself in the shower. Thinking of your soft, sweet body; Bending to his every whim. Your mouth stuffed full of his cock. Your enticing wet pussy that always made you blush at the sounds it would make, as he would fuck you. Hard and rough. He groaned at the thought before his face was level with your heat. Soft breaths that made your body wriggle; desperate to escape and want more; all at once. He hooked your knees over his elbows as he held your legs down. blowing against your exposed clit and watching your pussy clench around nothing; glistening with your essence he hungered for.

'With his educated eyes, and his head between my thighs'

"Mmmm. Sweet pussy baby girl." He kissed the apex of your thigh watching you writhe against the restraints. He hadn't even started yet. You were in for a long night.

You didn't seem to notice the name at first. It wasn't what he had called you any of the times before. But as the air thinned out around you; feeling the silence weighted around the room like a thick curtain and nothing was corrected, it almost felt affectionate; coming from his sinful lips that had just attached themselves to your-

"Fuck." Your breath caught as you threw your head back against the mattress.

Feeling lips suckling against your clit with vigor. He knew what you liked and knew how to get you where he wanted you. His tongue began lapping at your clit as his lips sucked where they could. Your breathing was heavy and you tried to pull against the restraints; your legs restless as the odd whimper left parted lips. His eyes although you couldn't see him, were focused on you. Watching every bite of your lip, every salacious moan or whimper; every gasp. You began rocking your hips in a rhythm against his tongue and he moaned at the pressure you posed against him. Trying to feel some friction as his throbbing cock had sprung to life from your first whimper; sandwiched between his abdomen and the mattress.

"God, this pussy is so good." He moaned; muffled by your legs trying so hard to clamp around his head as he continued his ministrations.

Soon enough you could feel the familiar rope spread throughout your body, begin to coil; tight as a spring before you felt a nip to your clit and you unravelled underneath him. Feeling weightless and weighted all at once. Stars beneath the blanket of the silk tie; delicate against your eyes. Head thrashing around as arms pulled with all their might against the restraints. Your back arched as you moaned loudly; legs starting to shake at the force of your orgasm. But that wasn't the end. He flicked his tongue against your swollen clit with more intent. Determined to push you through another orgasm before he even started using his fingers. God his fingers. Your lower body began to lift off the bed as his grip on your legs only got tighter.

"Fuck, fuck Yoongi. Oh my fucking g-"

You heard an animalistic growl as you felt another nip to your clit; yelping at the sudden spark of pain amongst your pleasure.

"Sir. Stick to the rules." He punctuated with a slap to your clit. Back arching for a moment as you felt a pulse throughout your body.

"Or I'll keep biting." He mumbled the last part.

You pouted. "Yes sir." You could feel your orgasm beginning to ebb away as he took longer to return to your clit.

You whined and you felt breath on your clit again as he chuckled. Although your predicament was purely casual. Wanting to get off essentially was your main goal. Neither of you ever rushed. Enjoying one another's company. Feeling his slick, swift tongue dancing along your clit again you moaned; trying so hard to keep quiet out of respect for neighbours as you tried resting your mouth against your arm to muffle your high pitched moans. His tongue retracted until you felt the tip of his tongue tease the edge of your entrance before dipping his tonulgue in for a moment. Your hips bolted you forward at the intrusion before settling back down on the bed. His tongue running up and down from your entrance to your clit in long strokes. Quickly settling his tongue back against your throbbing clit. You yelped as he applied more pressure.

"Fuck, I love this cunt."

Slurping noises ensued as he dove in deeper. You orgasm building again and again, holding on for dear life. Holding onto your sanity. His tongue swirling around the pulsing bud as you continued your previous rhythm rocking against his face. Your knuckles were turning white at the sheer grip you had on the ties; feeling yourself drift away.

"Fuck, please, yoo-"

He pressed his face even further into your heat as you cried out in pleasure. Tongue flicking mercilessly over your engorged clit. Reaching the summit again to fall all the way down into the abyss. He never let up from you as his tongue lapped at your juices spilling from your entrance. Nerves alight and pulsing throughout your body. A thin layer of sweat was evident against your face, collarbones; the whole of your body. Sweat beaded from his own forehead and he wiped the back of his hand over his mouth as he watched you regain your breath. Stilted in the silence. Only your chest rising and falling as your lungs gasped for air.

He loosened his right arms hold around your leg and brought his fingers forward to your sensitive pussy. Humming to himself as he gathered the Juices on the tip of his fingers and spreading it all over your pussy as it glistened in the dim hotel light. Knowing how much you lost your collective shit over his hands he couldn't help but watch his hands tip toe up to your breast; squeezing the flesh roughly in his hand before slinking it over to massage your neck for a second. Only to grab it a moment later. Your breath caught quite literally as you could feel the bed move from where he was sitting up. He could feel the pressure against your soft skin and the way your breath constricted; only for a moment as he loosened his grip. His fingers still flush against the skin. His veined hand looked like it belonged around your neck. He thought to himself before sliding his thumb into your mouth again; which you accepted with enthusiasm.

'I found a saviour, I don't think he remembers'

"One more from you, kitten. Then I'll fuck you. Okay?" He hummed.

Your reply was noncommittal as you nodded vehemently; still sucking on his thumb. He looked down at you with a certain adoration. Laying there, naked for him. Tied up and blindfolded. If he'd have thought this would be the case after that first night, he would have laughed. But here you both were.

His fingers began to trace the outline of your entrance; whisper like touches that made you clench around nothing. He began experimentally pushing his long slender middle finger inside you a little; chuckling lowly as you let out a whine. Your pussy trying to suck him in further. Wanting to feel him. All of him.

"Sir. Please." You murmured, legs that were now free from his grasp allowing you to rotate your hips.

He wanted to tease. God. He wanted to tease you until the sun came up. But he was desperate and so were you. He removed his finger earning a cry from you. Until he slid in two fingers to your shock and set a brutal pace. Feeling those godly fingers of his curl into you. Moulding you perfectly to him. Tapping against that sweet spot inside. He used his other hand to press your hips to the bed; preventing movement as you felt a touch of sensitivity kicking in. But you put it to the back of your mind; focussing on the way his fingers were drilling into you at an inhuman pace now.

Your senses heightened due to his silk tie that blocked your view. Oh how you wished you could watch his fingers sliding in and out of you like you had done countless times before. Acquiring quite the affinity with the mans hands. Pale, veiny; strong in their ability to hold you but soft when he caressed your cheek, wiping the spit away from the corner of your mouth or the pad of his thumb sweeping away tears from overstimulation. God you loved them.

"Fuck. I'm so close." You cried out, to someone. Anyone who could hear you as he continued his ministrations.

"Yeah? The slut loves my fingers doesn't she?" Yoongi spat; his voice laced with venom.

"Loves my fingers fucking her, huh?"

All you could do was mewl as you could feel your body going into overdrive. Your head slamming against the pillow as you could feel yourself near the edge. Just needing one final push.

"But you love it best when my hand's around your throat. Isn't that right? Slut?"

You hadn't felt his hand move. Too lost in the pleasure he was giving you. Until you felt it grip your throat. Not hard. But just enough. Squeezing when he said slut. Sparks flew and your fingers and toes felt as if they were set to a light simmer. Your body going numb at the feeling and your pussy throbbing as you came. A high pitched moan of his name left your bitten lips as he continued thrusting his fingers in and out of you. Body moving in time with your spasming cunt as you began to feel the overstimulation kicking in, rearing its ugly head once more. The pain was excruciating as he continued but the pleasure washed over you again as your entrance continued to clench around his fingers. Silence as a moan caught in your throat. This had to be the biggest orgasm you had ever had. Nerves set alight with matches and turning into a forest fire that exploded like gasoline until it set to a simmer when Yoongi slowed his fingers down ever so slightly. Enamoured by your head thrown back and your mouth in the perfect shape of an O. He would've cum right there, just at the sight of you convulsing beneath him.

"Cause he's off to pay his crimes, and he's got no time for mine'

"Fuck, me." He breathed, shaky breaths too.

Quickly flipping you onto your front, your still tied arms now crossed over one another. Propping your legs up so you were on your knees. A sharp smack to your ass sent you reeling into another sobbing mess. Beginning to plead with him. For something; anything.

Soon enough you felt his hands returning to your hips and ass, caressing them carefully. Your ass flinching at the contact of his lips on your lower back, you could hear a slight slapping sound behind you, assuming he had started to touch himself again. You whimpered at the thought of not being able to watch his veiny hand slide up and down his equally veiny cock. Fuck.

His lips still against your skin as he whispered "I nearly came just like that, watching you cum all over my fingers baby."

There it was again. Baby. Nothing more nothing less. There was a pregnant pause before he sighed, beginning to speak again.

"You're so fucking hot" a groan sounded as the pace of his hand quickened against his length. The slapping sound intensified.

You whimpered, beginning to move your ass up and down, wiggling it at him to invite him in.

"Yoongi, just fuck me already." You whined.

A sharp slap sounded against your ass, reverberating through the room. You winced at the pain, taking in a quick breath before a hand returned to your ass kneading it in his palm.

"Slut is so impatient today. I'll fuck you, don't worry." His words were menacing.

'Now we're lost somewhere in outer space, in a hotel room where demons play'

His hand continued to knead at your reddening cheek before pulling it aside with his thumb, showing your dripping, waiting entrance for him. He almost lost it. Almost. Deciding that you had both waited long enough he lined his throbbing condom clad cock up with your entrance and pushed in with great speed. Hissing at the feeling of your tight wet walls surrounding him.

"Oh god." You managed a strangled whimper into the mattress.

Breath caught in your throat as you could feel his dick beginning to move swiftly inside you. His hips slapping against your ass that was sure to bruise tomorrow, your wrists were aching, your body going numb to every other feeling apart from the feeling of him ploughing into you. Your vision was starry eyed and you hated it. But you loved it. Sobs began to rack through your body as he spanked you once again, sending waves of pain and pleasure through you.

His pace continued as all you could do was lie there with your hands tied, begging for anything he was willing to give you. But also feeling the familiar sting of too much. But it was never too much. You willed your body to continue on. To not give up the ghost yet. You prayed for your body to fight on. To take every thrust he battered into your throbbing, weeping pussy.

The coil you had almost forgotten existed now in the plains of numb, vacant ability to even string a sentence together, began to tighten again, expecting a fraying spent body, not one this eager for your umpteenth orgasm this evening. Your pussy clenched as he continued, hollow groans you imagine him with his head back as he thrusted into you, licking his perfect lips with that sinful tongue. God, he made you crazy.

"Yoongiiiiii, fuck I'm gonna cum, I'm gonna cum, please" your tone indescribable as you panted for breath that escaped you with every thrust as his skin continued to slap against yours.

Suddenly feeling him pull out which almost made you weep but being turned back over onto your back, the tie being ripped from off your head. You were greeted by a furiously sweating Yoongi. Sweat dripping from his dark chocolatey hair just above his eyes. His lips swollen pink from where he had probably been biting on them so much, not to mention when he had used the same lips to devour you not 20 minutes prior. His chest was heaving and lips parted as he gazed at you for a moment.

"I'm seeing that gorgeous face when you cum, no way I'm missing that." He stifled a laugh as he lined himself up with your entrance again after wrapping your legs around his torso.

'They run around beneath our feet, we roll around beneath these sheets'

Sliding in once more you rattled your wrists against the silk tie restraints as you cocked your head back in pleasure. You let out a high pitch moan, almost exasperated in tone, your back arching up into him before slumping back on the bed in defeat. Yoongi almost reading your mind whilst still thrusting inside of you began to untie the ties that bound your wrists. You thanked heaven for your saving grace. You could run your hands through his hair now, feel his sweaty skin beneath your fingertips. And soon after your hands were free he laced them in his own. This also being new to you. You knew the drill when having sex with him. He laid down the ground rules early on. No kissing. No cuddling. No hand holding. So what he did next really sent you through a loop.

"Fuck I'm close." He sighed before leaning down to kiss you.

His lips were salty, battered and bruised much like your own but you didn't care, you kissed back with all your might as he continued to thrust away inside you. Feeling his cock hit that sweet spot again you mewled, breaking the kiss with your head thrown back.

"Here kitten?" He asked, smirk evident in his voice.

You whimpered with a nod as he continued to thrust in the right place, hitting your spot so deliciously you couldn't help cry out when his pace turned rampant and he held your hips in his bone crushing hands, sure to bruise tomorrow. The punishing pace was set as his hips bucked into you and you tried to grab at anything you could, finding no sturdy comfort in the crisp white hotel sheets beneath you. Your breathing was erratic, you hadn't realised you'd been sweating until now, although not as much as the man above you. You watched in distracted awe at the sweat running down his broad chest, along his stomach and down to where his cock was pummelling into you.

You could feel it again, serious this time. Your orgasm creeping up on you faster than any bullet. Your legs tingled and your toes curled. Your knees felt like they would break and your arms felt detached from the rest of your body. In the last moments you saw him gazing down at you, exasperated, fucked out beyond belief. But smiling. You reached up at the nape of his neck and pulled him down to you, pressing your lips against his as you succumbed to the pleasure that wreaked havoc throughout your body. A heart wrenching shout came from your lips. In every moment, a glitch of your body as it spasmed with unruly disregard and poor timing. Your pussy clenched repeatedly on his cock while he continued to thrust inside of you.

"Oh fuuuck, I'm coming." He groaned into your neck as he used hard, purposeful thrusts as he came in the condom.

'He's coming down, coming down'

The sweat that accumulated on both your bodies cemented you together for moments after. All pretence and notions suspended as you both caught your breath back. Heaving. Breathing one another in. Soon Yoongi peeled himself off of you and went to remove the condom. You lay there, staring up at the ceiling. Stars still there. You weren't imagining it in the end. Scraping your hair from off your face as you wiped the sweat from your brow. Soon he returned, bouncing onto the bed next to you, looking up at you in adoration almost. A nervous smile present on his lips as if he didn't just drag you to the 7th layer of hell with him. Or was it heaven? You could never be sure.

You looked over at him with heavy lids, inquisitive look on your face as he swept hair from your shoulder. Looking down at you with that same smile. Before -

"You fancy going on a date, some time?"

NOW Mr Min is usually not my main man but i can't help it, just, shit okay Min Yoongi.

I realise I'm probably going to hell for this but we joon

Hope you guys enjoyed, working on the next installment as we speak 🤪 if you want to be added to a taglist let me know 🥴

Love Always

Mac 🧡💜

#BADLANDS x BTS #smut series #myg x reader #non idol au #min yoongi smut #this is intense #i can only apologise #bts #bangtan #bts smut

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fandomscombine · 3 years

Text

Heartbreak Woman [Cho/Cedric Ending]

Warning: Angst! Brokenhearted!Reader

WC:1454

I proposed 3 varying endings and the response was across the board so I decided why the heck not write ALL 3 choices!

a/n: I haven't been active on tumblr this past month. Motivation to read & write wasn't really there. Feelin pretty crap. I don't think it's my best work- I actually wrote this ending last month but delay posting it since I promised to post all 3 endings back to back- but with the recent burnout, my progress is slow. Proofread it and push the insecurities & anxieties away and here we are. Love was put into this, I hope you enjoy it! Don't worry, the other 2 endings are on the way.

I tried posting this 9 times now and it keeps saying error. this is me testing it with mobile so formatting is hard but I hope it posts

BG: You were hoping that your best friend, Cedric to ask you to the Yule Ball. Instead you were roped into helping him ask Cho out. It broke your heart, but at least this way while helping him out you could pretend that he was doing all the sweet things to you. On the other side of the picture, Harry was too heartbroken upon learning that Cho is going out with Cedric.

Read the main story before it diverges ending here!

>>>Heartbreak Woman [Main]

>>>MASTERLIST<<<

Did Harry Potter really just ask you out and you said yes?

Touching your forehead, it wasn’t bleeding anymore but there is still a slight sting to it from the collision with Harry’s broom. Yes. That definitely happened. You thought to yourself, this isn’t some delusion from the injury.

This is good. This is good. Hyping yourself up. You enjoy his company and that should be enough to stop your thoughts from going about a certain Hufflepuff boy. The same boy you had abruptly left alone in the greens. It’s not his fault nor it is Cho’s for wanting to date each other. You have nothing against them, they are both such lovely and kind people and not to mention popular- it was only a matter of time that they got together, Hogwarts’ Power Couple.

No, it’s just you and your stupid feelings falling for your best friend and agreeing to help with the courtship.

‘Y/n? Hii.” The voice reels you back to reality.

You blinked. “Cho! Hi!” Greeting her loudly had been taken by surprise. You dial down your volume. “What can I do for you?”

“It’s actually what you did, really… I just wanted to say thank you.”

You were confused, why was she thanking you?

“For helping Cedric I mean” She clarified. “He mentioned that you helped him with the picnic idea. It was very sweet. It was what made me finally say yes.”

“That’s awesome.” You force yourself to smile. “I’m glad you guys are together, I can finally get that git to stop bothering me with date ideas. That’s 3 weeks of my life I’m not getting back!” There was some truth to that statement, now that she and Cedric are together you don’t have to go through the pain of practice dates with Cedric.

“You y/n are the absolute wingwoman! Legend material!” Cho praised. “You're like my fairy godmother!” She continues, wrapping you into an embrace.

“yayyyy….That’s me…” You mumble into her luscious hair. Grateful that Cho couldn’t see your face. Pulling apart, you don’t let her go quite yet. With hands on her shoulder, you stare unwavering. “Just don’t break his heart yea? He’s really smitten by you, promise you won’t hurt him.”

Cho is taken aback a bit, your words clearly coming from a strong emotional bond with the boy. Thoughts of love, Eros, passed through her mind but brushed it away - It can’t be y/n help them get together. Y/n’s words must come from Philia love, y/n and Cedric had been best friends since before they could talk! Everyone knows that. They have a soul connection that can’t be replicated. “I promise.”

14th February.

Valentine’s Day.

This holiday sucks.

No, not for the reason that you’re single. Nah.

Today is a downer as you won’t be able to do your annual tradition.

See every since 3rd year you and Cedric would be in a pink ensemble outfit complete with red heart sunglasses. Spreading chants of self love and showering fellow single students and professors with compliments. This all started out when your roommates teased you for not having a date for Valentine’s day. When Cedric had heard about it, he went all out. The boy basically made sure that every single person knew how wonderful, beautiful and intelligent you are.

It was this day onwards that 2 things happened.

Complementing and advocating for self love, Philautia, in a pink get up became an annual Valentine’s tradition. (Even a couple of students joined the cause, expanding from you just both into an association/group of sorts.)

You started to see Cedric in a new light. In other words, you were falling in love with your best friend.

Scanning the Great Hall for pink cladded pupils, you were glad that the group had saved you a seat however a certain Hufflepuff was out of sight. Taking a deep breath, you cleared your head. Get it together y/n. Today is about sharing love and do NOT think about Cedric and Cho going on a romantic date in Hogsmeade.

You were about to take a step forward when-

“Argh!” Shutting your eyes as the hall spun around.

“Relaxx!! Relax! It’s just me.”

Feet back on solid ground, you turned towards the perpetrator, the one boy you did not want to see right now. “What the fuck Ced! Don’t scare me like that!”

“I’m sorry…” Cedric raises his arms in surrender. “Is everything alright?”

“Yea everything’s fine.”

Cedric raises a brow. You forget that this boy can see through your bullshit.

“Only had a couple hours of sleep, that’s all.” It wasn’t a lie, in fact you’d only gotten 3 hours of rest last night, it was just the case of omitting that his upcoming date with Cho was the reason for your restlessness. You don’t want to blame it on jealousy, but it is.

Grabbing hold of your hand, he pulls you towards the group. "Alright then, I've got some spare sleeping potion if you need."

You wave to your fellow singles as you sit down."uh..thanks Ced." You couldn't stop vocalizing your confusion as to why Cedric is still right next to you. Normally you wouldn't complain, but today was Valentine's Day.

"Ouch y/n!" Cedric sassed, eyes focused on piling food onto his plate." Just because I have a girlfriend now doesn't mean I would disappear on my best girl."

My best girl. It hurts to be called that in another context than you wanted.

"Don't you have a date with Cho today?"

"Yea but Madam Puddifoot’s Tea Shop doesn't open until 11am. Which gives me time for our annual Valentine's tradition!"

"But you're taken."

"Yes….but I could still help spreading the love!" Cedric glanced around. "No one minds that I come to join you right?"

A murmur of Nos filled your eyes.

"Haha! See I told you!" Cedric brags, wrapping an arm around your shoulder. Looks at you straight in the eyes, those gorgeous grey irises melting away your defenses."You can't get rid of me that easily." He whispers, loud enough only for you to hear. You could feel the heat filling up your face due to his closeness. Too busy lost in the rapid beats of your heart, you failed to notice his face getting even closer.

A softness like cotton grazes your cheek.

Cedric kissed you!

Your mind is close to being short circuited. The area of where Cedric's lips were a nanosecond ago is cold as ice. The cold contrasted with your now burning hot, blushing face.

You could live in this forever. All external environments quiet, blocked out of focus. Cedric's arms around you while the butterflies in your stomach bursts out, occupying your whole body with sheer giddiness from having his lips on you.

But the daydream breaks.

"Hey Love! You ready?"

"Morning!" He greets, kissing her. "Uh…" It's only 9:34am. You nod, silently telling him that it was okay to miss your annual tradition. You weren't expecting any quality time today, yet he managed even if it was just for breakfast. "Yea.. give me 10 minutes to go change and I'll pick you up at the courtyard?"

"Sounds great. Be quick cause I miss you already!"

"Sure will sweetheart." He pecks her lips again then waves goodbye to the table and he's off, running.

The tension changes once Cedric is gone.

"Can I talk to you outside y/n?"

"uh yeah" Once outside. "What's up?" Trying to sound casual. Cho inviting you to speak privately isn't usual-seeing that you were the couple's go to accomplice for surprises.

"I see the way you look at him."

"I'm sorry?"

"I know.you like him. y/n. I know you like Cedric."

"Cho.. you can't be serious, he's my best friend!"

"I wasn't sure then.but just now..the way you act around him. the way you look at him. y/n is undeniable. It’s so obvious-I had assumptions then but everyone just brushes it off as your childhood friend with each other. heck even both of you say that."

"Cho…."

"I didn't bring this up before because I felt insecure, jealous even that I can't live up to the standard of relationship you and Cedric have.”

You couldn’t believe what you were hearing. There were too many revelations bombarding you all at once, that you are having trouble processing what is going on.

“But I am tired of what ifs and worrying.” Voice quivering, she continues. “You've got to tell him, y/n."

The words snap you back into place.

"Cho… I can't. I can't ruin your relationship."

If you love someone and they love someone else, you let them go.

Everything Taglist :@gruffle1

HP Taglist:@onlyfreds

Heartbreak woman Tagist:

@joalinbenefits @the-natureofme @romanoffs-heart @justmesadgirl @plumso @gleefulleve @wolf-phoenix-lover @ceofcedric @savvy7392 @cedricsfluffyhair @thewayilookatbacon @LIONLIKEWOLFLIKE @mellifluous-cosmos

#cedric diggory x reader #cedric diggory #cedric diggory imagine #cedric diggory angst #cedric diggory fluff #cho chang #harry potter x reader #cedric diggory imagines #cedric x cho #cedric diggory x cho chang #fandomscombine writes

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allystyles1 · 3 years

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the dress shopping-Loki Laufeyson x reader (daisy series-part 3)

Hi people! I really like how this is turning out and i hope you do as well. I LOVE seeing all the reblogs, comments, and likes. I try to thank all of you privately but it's a little hard, also please remember reblogging is what helps the most. I hope you enjoy this, happy reading! <3

my main masterlist is here!

series masterlist is here!

Sif was already on your door waiting for you when you woke up. She was clearly excited about picking the queen's dress. It's not like everybody was invited to such thing.

"y/n get up! We have to go, come on the queen's waiting!" Sif shouted as she climbed the stairs to your room, waking you up.

"She's probably still sleeping Sif." you rubbed your eyes and Sif entered your room.

"Being early is never a bad thing, get dressed, quickly." She was so demanding today. Maybe it was the excitement, maybe it was the happiness but you didn't really love it either way.

"Okay fine, wait a little." You dressed as quickly as you could and brushed your hair. Sif was already pulling you out of your room before you even put the brush down.

"Goodbye my lady, sir." Sif smiled to your parents on your way out and closed the door before they got the chance to reply.

"Sif i didn't even have breakfast!" you whined but she of course didn't listen and kept making you walk faster than you should. You arrived there and learned the queen was indeed still sleeping, you shot Sif a 'i told you' look and she furrowed her eyebrows in an annoyed way.

"Can we at least eat something until she wakes up, i'm hungry." You asked Sif and she nodded, probably her equally big hunger made her do that. You walked to the kitchen together and put a few things on your plate. What you didn't expect was to see Loki there.

"Hello ladies." he smiled and you both turned around.

"Oh hi, good morning." Sif smiled and you felt your heart get a little faster when you saw him.

"Hey, why are you up so early?" you asked, turning back and also getting some water for yourself.

"I don't really have a reason actually. I didn't want to sleep." he answered and gestured you to sit on a table with him. "Why are you guys here so early? You don't easily get up before noon." he smiled.

"Well Sif here said we would be late to help your mother with her dress and she wouldn't listen to me." you smiled and he softly chuckled. Why did he seem more attractive than usual today? I mean, he always was but you never really thought about it.

"She'll be up in a few minutes, you enjoy yourselves until then." he smiled and got up but Sif stopped him before he could leave.

"Why don't you join us? You're a tasteful person, you could help us." Sif suggested with a grin. It was obvious she was trying to get you and Loki close after yesterday.

"I, uh, i have to go help Thor with something but i will stop by if it finishes early." Okay that was definitely an excuse, everyone could see that. Did he not want to be close to you? Was the kiss too much?

"Okay, sure. Tell Thor we said hi." Sif smiled and Loki nodded before leaving.

"Okay so i had forgot about it but now you are telling me everything." Sif turned to you and you sighed. She wouldn't stop until she learned every detail.

"Well we both didn't have partners for the party and we thought we would go together. Nothing we haven't done before Sif."

"Yes but it looks different."

"No it doesn't." Lie. Even you felt it was different than before.

"Did anything else happen while he walked you home?"

"No, we just chatted and he left before i went in." Lie.

"Why does it feel like you're skipping something?"

"I'm not Sif." Lie. You felt bad not telling her the whole truth but you also knew she would never leave you alone so you kept a few details to yourself.

"Okay fine. Let's go see if the queen's awake now."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The dress shop was HUGE. Definitely the biggest one you had ever seen in your entire life. There were at least a hundred dresses from every colour.

"So, how do you think it should be?" Frigga asked you and Sif making you snap out of your thoughts.

"Anything looks good on you my queen, you can wear any of these and look magnificent." Sif answered making Frigga smile.

"Thank you, that's really kind. Then we will choose a few ones we like and we can choose between them together?" she suggested and you both nodded. You all looked at different dresses from any colour and you heard Frigga call your name after a while.

"y/n, could you come here for a second dear?" You went to where she was, wondering why she only asked for you.

"What is it?" you approached her and she turned to you.

"I just wanted to chat with you, alone." Well that wasn't stressing at all.

"Uh sure, what did you want to talk about?"

"Don't be so nervous, i just missed talking to you. We haven't been alone in a while." she smiled lovingly.

"I'm okay, i’m not nervous."

"y/n, i know you too well to understand that is not the truth my child. Something is clearly filling your mind, we can talk about it." There she was, the Frigga you had considered your second mother. You knew you could trust her with anything so if you'd open your heart to anyone, that would be her.

"It's just, please promise not to tell Loki or others about this."

"Of course not, you know i won't." she smiled and went back to looking at dresses.

"Well, how do i say this.. You know how much i love Loki and we're really great friends for years, i've known him for as long as i can remember myself."

"Yes, you really are great friends and i'm glad you have each other, not everyone has that. He also seems to be your favorite." she smiled, you knew the meaning behind it and bit your lip.

"Well i've started to think maybe the love i feel for Loki is something different, something more than a friend." you admitted. She turned to you and hugged you. You felt better instantly, finally being able to admit it to someone, and yourself.

"That's amazing, y/n. I wouldn't hide it from him if i was you. If i know my son at all, he probably feels the same way about you. Don't tell him i told you that though." she smiled and you giggled. Frigga felt guilty knowing what would happen in the next days but she didn't tell you about any of it.

"Yeah, he's been kind of acting like that for a while, that's actually the reason i realised it. I mean, it always felt different than what i felt for Thor but i didn't really thought that much about it before these past days. I didn't even tell Sif about it, i knew she wouldn't stop talking about it."

"He was really happy when he returned yesterday night, what happened?"

"I kissed him before he left. Not kiss him like that, no. On his cheek. I thought he'd understand that i felt like that too."

"That's really sweet, i think he did. Don't worry, i'm sure you'll have a great time at the party. About that, we should pick something now." she smiled and took a few dresses with her and tried them on one by one until you all decided on one of them. That's when she suggested something.

"You girls should pick one for yourselves too, Loki told me you liked the material of his shirt so we can get them made by that." she smiled.

"Thank you so much, my queen. We'd love that." Sif smiled and turned to you. "He told his mother about your compliment!" she whisper-shouted making you smile.

"It's not that big of a deal, come on, pick your dress." You both picked your dresses after a while and left the shop all together. The party was going to be amazing, you were so sure. Only if you knew what would happen the day after it...

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stcveskent · 3 years

Text

WARNINGS: angst, fluff at the end <3

What happenes when you build up courage to confess to Steve Rogers that You're in love with him? He rejects. You've been in love with him for 4 entire years and he just says,"Y/n- i', We can't." And Why? Because you and him are collegues. This happened 2 weeks ago. And you started distancing yourself from everyone. Nat tried to talk, Wanda tried even Carol did, but you didn't wanted to.

The club or the bar specifically, has been your favourite place since the past 2 weeks. The only thing you've been doing is drinking. Worry is the only thing that covers Steve. He was worried alot, because He too have loved you since the past 4 years. But said 'no' because he cared for you.

"Steve?" Nat called him.

"Yes?" He asked coming out of his thoughts.

"What happened between you two?" She asked.

"Who are you talking about?"

"I'm talking about Y/n. What happened between you two?"

"Nothing did."

"You're a bad liar, you know that right?"

"Ugh! Fine! She said she loves me." He said.

"And what did you say?" She said sitting infront of him while putting her legs on the table knowing, this is gonna be a long story and a long,long,long lecture.

"I said that we can't be together?" He replies as he sips a bit water.

"Are you kidding me? Steve, you've loved her since the past 4 years. Suddenly you just want to throw your feelings and reject her?"

"You think I've been happy after that? No way. Of course I love her, ofcourse she does too but what happens when anything happens to her all because of whom? Me! Because I'm Captain America, There are alot of enemies who wants me dead on any way, whether its in emotional way or physical way. It sucks! She means the world to me and I'm not ready to lose her for what I am." He finsihes and sighs.

Natasha looks at him, Nat and him had a very close, sibling like relationship. He shared to her, his deepest and sadest secrets to which she always kept to her. When Yelena was found, It was Steve who hepped Nat with her Emotional situations. Never in the world they've thought they'd get this friendship.

Natasha sighs and places a hand on his shoulder.

"Steve, You know, she's an avenger too, and she's capable of saving herself, maybe try to understand what she's trying to say. She wants you as much as you want her. Think of it and go to her if you think I'm right, if not then its your choice, besides Y/n is like my sister. I can't see her miserable, she's been very upset and I haven't seen her in the past two weeks."

"I'll think about it, Nat. Thank you." He says and hugs her.

"I'll see you later, Now, I have to go to my boyfriend."

"Sure! Have a great night." He smilled

After thinking of the good times you and Steve had, it was your call on his phone.

"Hello?" He said.

"Heyyyy Stevie- Oh sorry, Captain- oh ma gawd, What - hehehe." You slurred from the other side and Steve was worried.

"Y/n? Where are you? Have you been drinking?" He asked

" Yes I'm drinking why do you care and I'm somewhere where I can enjoy drinking. Hehehe" you laughed.

"That's it! Tell me where you are now! I'm coming right away."

"God! Captain! You're so bossy. Always comes closer and then throw me and you don't even know how hard it hurts to be thrown away from the person you've loved since 4 oh-four yearss." You stuttered. Being drunk has its own perks. the thoughts that had been inside you for years were out now.

"Y/n? Stay wherever you are."

"Ugh okay okay."

Thank god, you're mobile's gps has been working which he traced where were you.

The bar was being cold.

A guy started hitting on you and you being drunk made it even worse.

"Hey baby, wanna come home with me?"

"Nooo pleaseee stayyy awaayyyyy" You said. Each syllable expressed longer. You stumbled and then the guy caught you.

"No no! Movee!" You said and he caught you tight.

"Go awayyy-" and Steve entered

"SHE SAID MOVE!" and he pushed him away.

"Steve? Oh Steveeee?" You looked at him and then you puked turning away.

"Don't look at me, Steve." You said and he gave you his napkin

"Are you okay?" He asked.

"Yes. Oh god, you're spinning."

"Really?" He asked as you were in his arms and he held you tight.

"I think I'm gonna faint."

"Now?" He asked and then you fell on him.

He drove you and himself to his apartment. He knew where you lived,but didn't wanted you to be alone. Your eyes closed and he held your hand. You were so drunk and you knew the hangover was gonna happen.

He picked you up in his arms and walked to his bedroom. His eyes went to your clothes, covered in vomit.

He took your shirt off, and then he put on his shirt on you which was too large for you.

He laid you on his bed and you looked peaceful. He laid next to you and cuddled with you just like how you both did before you confessed your love for him and he rejected.

"I'm sorry, you're all here because of me, love." He said and placed a kiss on your forehead.

He doze off to sleep next to you,holding you in his arms as he wished this moment always lasted and if you were in your senses, you would've wished that too.

----------------------𝐌𝐨𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠---------------------

The sunlight crept through the windows through the beige curtains which Steve adored reaching your eyes as you groaned at the feeling of headache starting to occur. Steve have left for his run early and had returned home and was making some breakfast for you both.

You opened your eyes and looked around and sat up.

You thought maybe a stranger have brought you home.

Then suddenly, A Shirtless Steve entered the bedroom and looked at you.

"Oh You're up already. Good Morning." He sent a smile to you.

"Why am I here?" You snapped.

"Try recalling things." He said as he took a shirt from his drawer and pulled it down. His back muscles flexed and you were practically drooling at the sight of him. Your eyes went to yourself in the mirror placed right in front of you. You were not in your clothes. You were in his Shirt, which was too large for your body

"Wait- Did you undress me?"

"Not by choice."

"What do you mean by that?" You asked and glarred.

"Did you take the pills?" He asked

"Which Pills- God, Did we do it?" You asked

"Oh Dear god, Y/n no! The pills for your headache." He asked smiling.

"Not untill you answer me."

"Okay, fine! Yours were covered in vomit. Why're you so stubborn."

"Less than you."

"You should've get that drunk, y/n. Its not good for you."

"Well, this happened two weeks ago, not my fault." You taunted.

"Look! I'm sorry." He said

"Sorry? For?" You asked looking straight in his eyes.

"Y/n I know ,you're hurt that I didn't accept your feelings. I-i Love you too and Alot from the time I laid eyes on you. But We're Avengers, and many people want me dead. And I can't risk ypur life just because of me."

"Steve.. I-no Please. Look at me." You cupped his face as you stood on your knees on the bed az he sat in front of you, his eyes starring at yours.

"I can take care of myself. I love you alot and I'm sorry that I drink too much and lost myself but trust me, I didn't know what to do.... you were my only before and I was sad that I had no one. Please lets give it a try. Just once... please." You said and he kept his arms around your waist.

"I-, Okay." He said.

"Okay?'

"Okay! We'll do it." He says and a smile occured on your face and in a minute he picked you up in his arms and took you to the kitchen

"Steve!!" You squeled as he picked you like you had no weight.

"What?" He said.

He placed you safely on the kitchen counter and handed yoi the breakfast.

"Before you do anything....Eat!" He said

"Okay!" You say and eat

"This is amazing Steve!"

"Glad you loved it." He said and smilled.

You pulled his arm and he stumbled and was in front of you.

"I love you, I really really love you."you said as you cupped his face and he held you.

"I love you too, I love you alot." You smilled and just then you kissed him. This was a long waited kiss.

Just seconds later you pulled away, and then he breathed as your foreheads touched.

"Tha-Was the best." He said.

"The best life starts now..." And he smilled and placed a kiss on top of your head.

____________________________________________

hi back again with fluff and angst 🥺 with my baby stevie🤍

#andy barber #andy barber fluff #andy barber smut #chris evans #chris evans smut #chris evans fluff #ransom drysdale #ransom drysdale smut #steve rogers #steve rogers fluff #chris evans angst #chrisevans x reader #steve rogers angst #steve rogers x reader #andy barber x reader #ransom drysdale x reader #steve rogers smut

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cyro-starfire · 3 years

Text

What hurts to talk about...

Cyro X Minus!Lemon Monster hurt/comfort fic

Once again i will be tagging @monsternightfunkin because their blog gives me insperation to write

⚠️WARNINGS FOR THIS FIC:⚠️ OC X CANON, ABUSE MENTION, NIGHTMARE, TRAUMA, SLIGHT SELF HARM (Hitting head), CRINGE

Colors for characters

Cyro - Pink

Minus - Orange

Please enjoy my horrid writing if you can!

It was late into the night, probably around 11 PM or 12 AM. Minus had been put in charge in taking care of Cy, despite Girlfriend and Pico being reluctant in letting him. The others knew Minus was strong enough to protect Cy if any danger were to come into the house. Cyro was sleeping on their bed while Minus slept on the floor, the alien had insisted that Minus should sleep on their bed but he declined, he was worried that with his weight he'd crush the bed, besides their rug wasn't too bad to sleep on, it was soft and fuzzy like him!

Cyro had been very reluctant on letting Minus sleep on the floor because it just didn't feel all to right but they really couldn't say no to him, so they let him sleep on their rug anyway. Despite it being the floor, Minus was catching some good Z's, having a pretty good dream! Cyro on the other hand...was having the opposite experience...

The poor alien was having terrible nightmares for the past week...and they were all about HER...Cyro's abusive ex girlfriend, Sam. It had been over 3 years since Cyro had broken up with her, but the scars from her abuse still remained within Cyro's mind...the horrible things she would say to them...the horrible things she would do to them...it would give Cyro horrible visions and make them go into a traumatic episode if they ever saw anything that reminded them of Sam...

The alien whimpered and whined softly, untill those whimpers got louder...and louder, their body was shaking madly, tears formed in their shut eyes, they could feel her disgusting hands on their body despite her not being there...they could hear her terrible voice, mocking them, laughing at them. Reminding them that they were nothing but a pathetic little alien...

"n-no...no...no no no no no...NONONONOO!!!" They screamed in horror and agony as they choked on tears and awoke from their horror filled dream...panting heavily as they looked around the room. They took a moment to let the cool night air fill their burning, aching lungs...their body was covered in sweat, and tears filled their eyes...they held their pillow tightly and sobbed into it. "Wh-Why...why c-can't y-y-you just leave m-me alone...p-please...g-get out of m-my head..." They whimpered, they wanted to forget Sam and the hell she put Cy through whilst in the relationship with her...

Cyro took their hands off of their pillow and started to hit their temples with their hands. "G-Get out...get out...get out, get out, GET OUT GET OUT!!" They screamed in what at first was fear but then it turned into rage...rage for what she had done to them, and rage for her not getting any karma for it, it aggravated Cy, why did they have to suffer while Sam gets off Scott free? It wasn't fair...why was life cruel like this? What did they do to deserve this?

They were interrupted by a big claw gently grabbing their left hand and stopping that hand from landing blows on their own head. They looked quickly at who had did it, but quietly sighed in relief when they saw that it was just Minus. "Why are you hitting your head? Your head didn't do anything bad did it?" The huge lemon monster yawned. "Don't hurt yourself like that, it's bad." He whined at Cy groggily. "O-Oh, s-s-sorry i w-w-woke you M-Minus, th-there was j-just...a-a fly on my h-head that's all!" Cyro tried to lie.

"I love you but please don't fib to me like that." Minus whimpered in typical dog fashion. "Why were you hitting your head, and screaming 'get out' for?" He asked them again...Cyro looked at Minus...they were hesitant to tell him...They didn't wanna worry him about what had been going on for the past week...would he even understand the gravity of the situation...? Sure he was abused like them but...it was a different kind of abuse...right...? "I...i..." Cyro tried to come up with a good excuse but nothing came to them...

They really had no other option did they? The alien sighed gently and finally gave up. "F-Fine, I'll...i-i'll tell y-you what's going on..." They admitted hesitantly. Minus gently put a claw on their bed to let them know that Cy had his full attention for this time..."I-I've...b-b-been having a-alot of nightmares a-about m-my ex girlfriend, S-Sam recently...a-about how she w-would abuse and manipulate m-me...i t-tried to see wh-what i could do t-to make them go away, b-but they s-still haven't stopped and i...i..." They started to tear up again. "I-I just w-want to forget a-about her s-so b-badly Minus...b-but...i-i don't kn-know if i can..." They said sniffling.

It wasn't before long until they finally broke down in front of minus, holding in any and all tears backfired badly for them, they sobbed and grabbed their pillow again, sobbing into it and apologizing to him that he's now seeing this side of them...he must think their pathetic now...however for Minus...seeing Cyro like this reminded him of himself when he was younger, and those monster hunters would torment him day and night...The lemon monster got up and gently picked up Cy, who was still clinging onto their pillow tightly, still saying "I'm sorry" in short chokes of tears.

"Hey...please don't cry, i don't like it when your in pain..." Minus said to Cyro softly, lifting up their chin gently with his claw. "i-i-i-i'm s-s-s-sorry...i-i-i-i'm s-s-so s-sorry..." They hiccuped, they couldn't stop feeling like it was their fault, maybe they did deserve to get abused, maybe they did deserve to be mentally damaged forever...maybe- all of their thoughts were interrupted by Minus giving them a small, soft lick on the cheek. "H-Huh?" Cyro held their cheek confused. "I don't know who hurt you, how and why but i do know your in pain, and you don't deserve to be in pain..." Minus said to Cyro in almost a hushed whisper, holding them closely to his chest.

There was a brief silence between the two, before Minus broke it again "I'm here for you, i will protect you, everything will be okay, i love you..." He whispered to them, their sobs and sniffles slowly grew quiet as their tears eventually stopped, they were still shaking slightly but not as bad as before...they leaned into Minu's chest and took a moment to embrace how warm he was...how fluffy he was...how safe they were with him..."th-thank you..." Cyro purred softly, as they snuggled into him...the two had a moment of comfortable and safe silence with one another...it was nice. Maybe this is what Cy deserved...healing...saftey...love...

And Minus was there to give it to them. Minus slowly curled up with Cy in their arms, making sure they were comfortable, and the two fell asleep together...

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