#i have like 1 other but it wouldnt fit so maybe when i actually finish superlink and watch cybertron ill have more
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okay. trying again with hunger games au.
I think 1 small change I'll make is that I dont wanna age everyone down so I'm just gonna say that the hunger games is for adults too lol.
grian lives in district 11 with his slightly younger brother, Jimmy, and his twin sister, Pearl. (I cant decide if they're fraternal twins or identical and Grian is trans)
his parents illegally hunted to keep them all fed and they taught grian and pearl to hunt too. grian now hunts with the family friend Joel, who also hunts for his small family of his own. they've had to hunt more often as of late (around the time of the reaping(the thing of picking the tributes)) because joel has recently gotten married (lizzie cameo!!)
grian himself doesnt find himself very interested in romance (hes very aromantic coded, he only had a small crush on scar when they were kids and he just has other things to focus on, much like katniss) and he doesnt really get it but hes fine with staying out in the woods later with joel if they need more food if he needs it. joel usually gives him the pelts of extra game to sell at the market so it's a good deal. joel, him, and jimmy are kind of a little friend group in the district (bad boys bad boys)
scar is a baker who the bad boys work with on occasion, mostly getting him stuff because he isn't really allowed out of the house much (its parent stuff, they wont let him move out or leave even tho hes an adult but like he just lives with it bcuz the economy n stuff is so bad that if he left to build his own life hed prolly end up on the streets for a long time)
they mostly go to the black market for him for getting like sugar and they help get baking stuff for him in return for lots of bread. this started back when he and grian were young and scar had to throw out burnt bread and his ma hit him and grian found it like a lil feral animal and paid scar back with a dead rabbit (this is based off a scene in the hunger games but tweaked a bit) and they've been trading ever since. grian wouldnt say they were friends but scar is a sweetheart. hes surprised someone could be kind in the world they live in.
anyways jimmy gets chosen as tribute, grian volunteers to replace him, and then scar is chosen. nobody volunteers for him, which breaks both of their hearts a bit.
their mentor is Martyn and their stylist is a man who goes by the name S. Major who grian swears hes met before
training montage, dressup montage, very gay denial scarian montage, and bam. the games start.
I'm not 100% on who the participants in the game will be because I wanna keep a lot of players alive to be other characters, but also I think grian should 100% group with the southlanders. but that means theyd die and. I dont wanna do that. maybe mumbo could die? maybe hes like rue. but... augh... but martyn is like the mentor so he isnt IN the games...
AUGH
this is always what gets me.
okay so blah blah blah, shit happens, scar loses one of his legs and gets all bloodthirsty about it, they almost commit a double suicide, and the game ends.
I think bigb will be kinda like plutarch? idk. I think characters wont fit super properly into the roles (like I kinda want secret soulmate crumbs but also if you think of them as Katniss and plutarch its weirrdd yk???)
and I actually have to go. so signing off. sorry I didn't finish once more.
once again savign this in my pocket for later touare so coool and i love you. i love when you infodump at me you are awesme
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danny phantom season 2, ep 12-16 thoughts! these episodes, in comparison to the first 10 or so, felt way more laid back and low-stakes, which I appreciate sometimes. I didn't appreciate how lazy jack's halfa design was in masters of time, it made me so annoyed I redesigned it. 👎🏻 u_u
see prev episode thoughts in this tag <3
-'picking a fight with me and my upgraded form!' 'you upgraded to a mullet?' DANNNNY. YOU CANT SAY THAT TO TECHNUS. YOUVE HAD A MULLET TWICE NOW ('fun' split danny, and evil future danny BOTH HAD THEM). I HAVE THE RECEIPTS.
-danny seeing technus hurting valerie and yelling I AM GOING TO BREAK YOU IN HALF. SAMEEEE <3
-axion labs is now a part of vladco. FUCK YOU VLAD. hes not even really IN this episode, but just thought I'd throw out a nice fuck you anyway.
-'capable of blasting a single person into space in (2) minutes!' tucker. that would kill someone. i mean yeah they might get to space, but theres NO WAY THEY WOULDNT CATCH FIRE, OR THEIR ORGANS WOULDNT LIQUIFY BECAUSE OF THE STRAIN. THEY'D PROBABLY PASS OUT BEFORE THEN, BUT. ...no, okay, I get why vlad bought this company. this is RIGHT up his alley.
-danny KNOWS VAL DIDNT DO THIS, THAT SOMEONE STOLE THE SUIT. AND SPENDING ALL NIGHT CHATTING WITH HER. <3 and val is a 9TH DEGREE BLACKBELT?? danny's mom is, too!! omg and she hunts ghosts, his parents would love her. and her fav fruit is kumquat bc its a funny word. im so with danny val is amazing. I love her and I Do Not Want To Hear It From Sam.
-I knew danny wanted to be an astronaut, but the bowling tidbit is like. yes give me more useless info abt these characters, I love tiny details that make them feel more human, and im glad hes got hobbies aside from ghost stuff, we dont really see a lot of that!!! (I mean, we knew 'fun' danny from when he split himself in half liked bowling, so obv it makes sense he LIKES it, but hes very GOOD at it. so proud of him, bowling king) val calling him neil armstrong and them teasing each other. LOVE THAT.
-technus you are my favorite grandpa for setting this up. SAM WHY ARE YOU BEING SO CREEPY BE HAPPY FOR YOUR FRIEND!!! STOP SPYING ON THEM!!! who actually cares if technus did 'set them up' together, theyre having fun and enjoy each others company!!! 'you think the universe wants you two to be together?' 'i dunno, but maybe /I/ do!' EXACTLY DANNY!!! SOO TRUE.
-and valerie being happy sam said she wants to try and be happy for them and make room at the lunch table for them. and hugging sam over it. VAL NEEDS MORE FRIENDS.
-VAL GOING AFTER TECHNUS IN HER SUIT WITH (1) MILK, AND (1) TREE BRANCH AND KEYS!!!. I LOVE YOUUUU BEST GIRL. her new suit kicks ass
-dannys like 'HEY IM AN ASTRONAUT :D' AW. ...HES IN SPACE... the fact he's actually intending to give her the ring. with SAMS NAME ON IT?? IM CRINGING DANNY NO. YOU CANT DO THAT...thank god he didnt. thank god valerie cut it off and said they can just stay friends for now. tbh, they both have a lot on their plates!! they obv both still like each other...it can be a future thing!! when she knows about phantom! youre 14 theres no need to rush. I just want her to have friends and be happy :(
-...danny struggles to do (1) pull up. SAME. but all the ghost fighting in phantom form REALLY doesnt carry over at ALL? that sucks
-sam being as fit as she is, is not just a goth. shes a goth jock.
-honey I Shrank Our Kid, One of his Enemies, and his Bully: the episode
-dash's crush on phantom is So Obvious. fitness buddies :) watching them interact always makes me laugh. also, phantom, with PANTS. 'how many costume changes you gonna go through, what is this, vegas??' DASSH DJKSFHASKDF
-MADDIE GOING AFTER THE MOUSE WITH A BROOM, WHAT THE FUCK. AAAH. JUST BUY SOME KIND OF MOUSE TRAP.
-danny likes lime and vinegar chips. which sound very good.
-'our boy finally has the physical prowess of a 60 year old president!' ...poor danny LMAO
-'what's wrong with beauty pageants' oh tucker you sweet naïve child. what ISNT wrong with them. who approved this for a high school?? (I mean, yes. unfortunately child pageants exist, but...) also danny and tucker once again treating the pretty girls like objects. I need to meet the grown man who wrote this, I just want to talk...
-prince aragon's dragon form reminds me of maleficent (color scheme wise) which is always a bonus. considering the episode is called beauty marked, I feel like the sleeping beauty references are deliberate
-sam with the fake fangs. once again her accessories never miss. hate the 'not like other girls, girls who get sucked into this kind of thing are all shallow and all want to be carbon copies' bs tho.
-sam trying to be the Worst Bride, being rude as shit. DORA IS GOING TO GET KILLED. DID YOU MISS THE PART WHERE SHE SAID THE PRINCE WILL HAVE HER HEAD IF YOU ARENT THE IDEAL BRIDE. YOU /KNOW/ DANNY WILL COME SAVE YOU. JUST ACT CHILL UNTIL THEN. even if you were doing fine to get him to take off the crown, consider maybe not letting his poor sister get punished also?? sure, she could also take off the crown and has dragon powers, but did you know that for sure?? dora didnt even really realize it until you guys talked!! (or at least, she was scared to stand up to him. you had no guarantee she would...) but. good for dora. ANOTHER friendly ghost to add to the List :)
-tucker is so under appreciated in his time. if he was doing a tech-based campaign today he'd have a better shot. people in 2004 had NO IDEA how much tech would be a part of our day-to-day lives...altho. tbh if you're going to be running for student council president, maybe you should..focus on things to actually improve the school? since he's going for a tech angle, he could say like, he would be running fundraisers for the schools computers to be upgraded, etc? we've already SEEN he can be good at money-making entrepreneur type stuff!!
-oh my god wait. this episode is JUST YUGIOH?????! A REBORN PHAROH USING A TEENAGER AS A VESSEL?? YESSSSSS
-tucker using his new minion to feed him grapes and carry him. AND LOCUSTS ONTO THE BULLIES. I love how when he's possessed, he gains winged eyeliner.
-this episode is giving me big 'plankton makes everyone in bikini bottom his slaves and build monuments of him from the spongebob movie' vibes. and the pharaoh has a traitor who works for him? VERY big yugioh vibes. aknadin confirmed
-I like that danny is still completely exhausted after using ghostly wail. (still patiently waiting on him to get duplication)
-LOVE the fenton's 80s outfits. I get hes 14 and embarrassed by everything they do because theyre his parents, but. cmon, this is one objectively cool thing theyve done. love 80s fashion.
-...was vlad just standing on that streetlight waiting for danny to come out? how'd he know they'd be coming out the back? how long has he been up there???
-oh, wait, his ecto-acne has flareups? that SUCKS. danny was...well I dont want to say he was LUCKY HE HALF-DIED, but he was lucky his was pretty instant (I'm assuming that had to do with the power/scale of the portals being different?) I remember in the ep we met him, vlad made a point of saying he was stuck in a hospital for a long time, so. that really actually sucks and I feel bad. not that it excuses anything he's done...but like. it does suck.
-vlad being so sure danny wouldnt help him he made it somehow contagious to his friends to make sure he'd get help? danny is a nice boy, he wouldve helped if it was anyone else. the only reason he wouldn't have is because of the shit vlad did to him, on purpose. vlad 100% dug his own grave by being the biggest asshole, so it is very hard to feel bad for him.
-clockwork is back!!! and making danny learn lessons The Hard Way. Uhhh, okay. I kind of get Danny’s logic, that time traveling this far back would prevent vlad from becoming a halfa also, ergo no arch nemesis or ectoacne to worry about. But the fact that was basically the first solution Danny came up with to solve this problem is actually so funny. It’s so extreme
-APPRICIATION FOR THESE 80S LESBIAN BG CHARACTERS.
-vlad telling maddie in the lab (in the 80s) he has something he's wanted to tell her 'for a long time'...how long have they known each other? I assumed they met in college, since jack always calls vlad his college buddy/roommate, so jack and vlad for sure met in college, but did vlad know maddie longer? thats surprising if so. Tho we don’t know what year of college they’re in so they could mean they met as freshmen and a few years have past…speaking of maddie shes crushing the 80s look.
-vlad blames jack, but. maybe dont stick your face 2 inches from the portal??! THIS FEELS LIKE LAB SAFETY BASICS. IF SOMETHING HAS POTENTIAL TO BE DANGEROUS, DONT GET NEAR IT. WITH YOUR FACE UNPROTECTED IN ANY WAY. (altho jack didnt really give a Big Warning besides screaming BONZAI. so. also that, but cmon.) also, they need gloves, goggles, and to pull all of their hair back tbh. but fuck lab safety, I guess!
-cryyyyinnng at how lazy they were with jack's ghost form design, its just plasmius' design on jack!!! you couldve given him his own design!!
-there. I did that in about 10 minutes and its somehow less lazy than what made it into the show. embarrassing! better yet, I think the episode would've been better if maddie would've gotten the ectoacne. or maybe its just me, wanting to see her design! anyway. I'm sure people have already done redesigns of them both as halfas. I have to go look after I finish this watch through. Also mildly frustrated jacks resentment and bitterness is basically also a copy paste of vlads backstory. They’re different characters, I really don’t think jack would stew in bitterness and jealousy the same way vlad would!! I also don’t think he’d give up after one time of trying to hunt ghosts and getting laughed at. Our canon timeline says different…I dunno, I get it was for laughs, but I’m annoyed because the POTENTIAL this plot has…
-did vlad really wear a stupid cheese hat to his wedding. ok actually that kinda rules. and the cheese door knocker. the dairy-only buffet table. vlad still got rich, just on being the New Dairy King. (Assuming that means he owns a lot of dairy businesses?) ok! this actually is great. hope maddie isn't lactose intolerant!
-'no matter how hard I tried, I could never get rid of my ghost half, the half I knew Maddie could never accept' ohh, ouch, what a horrible thing to say to her HALF GHOST SON. 'YOUR MOM WILL NEVER ACCEPT YOU' BASICALLY.
-maddie strapping danny to the table with a lazer pointed at him in a secret lab she keeps from vlad that she makes a point of saying is sound proof so he can scream all he wants...CHRIST. DANNYS POOR PYSCHE.
-also, not to feel bad for alternate vlad (because, he did lie to maddie saying jack blames her and never wants to see her again...) but. being married to a woman 20+ years and she immediately goes back to jack? if she didnt love vlad and feels like she had to hide shit from him, and says she wasted her best years with him, WHY MARRY HIM. it feels like leading him on!!! cannot believe im feeling bad for vlad, but. this alternate timeline vlad is significantly Less Horrible than Our Vlad. did she not think she'd get funding for her ghost stuff? (which, fair assumption since they're considered 'ghost fanatics/nuts in canon...but...) why did she think jack or vlad would be her ONLY OPTIONS? be like your sister. be single. Actually, this au could’ve been really interesting if after the accident, vlad lied to her and said jack never wanted to see her again, but she stays single. Imagine how much that would bug vlad… like, in her mind, it was never a competition it was jack or no one type situation…
-danny being like 'leave him ALONE' this jack is a HOMEWRECKER, DANNY. let them go to court and settle this at the least. ...or just throw vlad into the portal. (100% human, defenseless vlad) CHRIST, MADDIE THATS BRUTAL. THATS MURDER.
-danny seeing his mom immediately accepting him and his dad being half ghosts in this universe, if I was him this would be a great sign that his universe's maddie would also.
-*maddie voice* "clockwork will help!" *2 seconds later, with clockwork* "I will Not Help." TOUGH LOVE KING. YES LET DANNY SEE THE SODA HIMSELF AND DEVOLP BETTER OBSERVATION SKILLS.
-when clockwork ""reset time to the way it was"" just before danny "meddled"" ...did he really erase a whole alternate timeline? ...damn. because maddie and danny both called it an alternate timeline by name, it splitting when the college incident went different, so it wouldnt have really mattered if he reset it, right. like because danny's timeline is on a different stream? why didnt clockwork just. show danny a replay and not Reset That Timeline. wh...I wonder how many people that Erased From Existence. Anyway! once again stating clockwork is casually terrifying!
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hello everyone! I got an ask from an anon asking for tips on time management so i decided to type this out before school starts heheh…
poor time management and procrastination, unfortunately, plague just about all of us lol. people with a short attention span (like me) and who are pretty much always on their phone (me again) and who hate scheduling are the most susceptible to these.
over the years i struggled with time management(studying the night before the exam 🤙🏼) but! these are some tips that have helped me in scheduling, avoiding procrastination and improving time management.
1. Write it down
as always, we’re starting with BEFORE the actual task. write all tasks, assignments, projects and homework, test dates down somewhere (notebook preferably so that you dont lose it. it doesn’t have to be your bujo and you do not have to start a bujo for this specific reason!!!) and write the deadlines. this is subconscious pressure to do work once you get home. also, since you can see everything, it’s easier to schedule it out later
2. Use travel time
i cannot stress this enough!!!! sorry that it appears in all my tips posts but it truly is very useful. for short commutes, review the content you’ve learnt so that when you start on your homework, you’ve already got the hang of it. ie you dont struggle to understand the chapter and be put off from finishing your work because you hate it. long commutes can be used to complete work itself. i like to place some books and a file under my worksheet while i write (if i have a seat lol) or you can take this time to plan your time in greater detail
3. Actually plan your time
you dont have to fancy it up with like, brush pens and highlighters. just do something on google sheets or excel. divide the day into appropriate blocks of time.
for me, since i use a focus timer (50+10 or 100+20, rare cases i do 120 with a long break after that) i keep my days in 1hr blocks. so i’d block in about 1hour after i reach home to chill, clean up and so on, 2hrs for homework and the remaining time can be divided by hour/2hours to complete my work. you can tweak the timings to work for you but so far this one suits me pretty well.
4. NEVER RUSH YOUR HOMEWORK AND REVISION WHEN PLANNING!!!!
i repeat, never rush. because when you give only, say, one hour to review 3 chapters and you fail to do so within that time limit, you feel demoralised and hence, will not want to work more. this is a very common issue i believe. sometimes i would rush revise and when i couldnt stick to the timelines, i’ll feel so defeated that i’ll probably binge watch youtube to cure my self-pity LOL
give yourself an ample amount of time. Assign one or two hours a day as ‘delay time’ (this was my free time) so that you can catch up on anything that unfortunately, you couldn’t finish. Assign one day of the week to be the ‘delay day’ -- anything that you cant finish the week before, do it now. this means that you can still ‘save’ your plan even if it screwed up somewhere along the way. it works wonders, believe me! i used to have ‘delay hours’ after training where i would (ahem sadly) study from 2330-0030 if i needed to. while i was tired, i always got my work done.
5. Prioritise
this one needs no explanation. i usually choose which task to start on based on a combination of deadline+importance+graded/non-graded. i start early for graded assignments because they count towards my semester’s final grade and i want to hand up the best quality work i can. find a system which works for you! note: start project work and large assignments early.
you can assign simple tasks first to start the ball rolling, and proceed with harder tasks.
alternatively, if you’re at your prime focus, start with the hardest and scale down to the simple.
6. Make good use of holidays + Wake up early
ok i used to game a LOT and go to training a LOT (still happens now lol) during holidays but i wouldnt get any of my holiday work done.
do your holiday homework first. schedule your time well, and maybe stay home and resist the urge to go out for the first 5 days. finish all your work (again, schedule well) with breaks in between.
thereafter, schedule maybe 3-5 hours a day to revise. if you’re going out with friends, i’d suggest you wake up early to study because once you come home you’re usually dead tired HAHA
so how early is early?? during my o levels study break i would wake up at 0330 (yes, for real) but i slept at 2130 every night. so thats 6 hours of sleep wew but AT LEAST i was very productive. think about it this way: waking up early to study at 0330 makes you more productive than studying till 0330. you don’t have to wake up THIS early, but preferably early enough when the sky’s still dark so that you can fit in those extra hours. DO NOT sacrifice sleep. that’s why you can see i’m still sleeping my usual amount, albeit sleeping and waking earlier.
more perks of waking up early: its quiet outside, the air is cool, your mind gets into the ‘get shit done’ mode, and if you absolutely have to use your phone to search something up, your social media probably won’t be pinging. in other words, early mornings are actually a great time to study! remember to eat something though :>
7. Remove all distractions to prevent possible procrastination
YES i know this is the dreaded one. lock your phone somewhere inconvenient and put the key outside your room. or if you don’t lock it make sure your phone is far away from you as possible. please i know how deadly your phone can get so just put it away.
if you find yourself drifting away and looking at something else, remove that.
alternatively, change up your study environment. you don’t have to go to the library or something (you can if you want to). this is as simple as studying in a different part of the house. a new environment helps to ‘prick’ my mind and help me ignore distractions. i dont know if this is scientifically proven but oh well, worth a try.
8. 2-minute rule
this is something i picked up from @studyquill! it’s pretty helpful (although i was skeptical at first). Tell yourself you’re only going to work for 2 minutes, which helps you get into the workflow. chances are you’ll get so into it (ok not in an excited but rather in a determined way) that you don’t feel like stopping.
if you’ve had a long day and after 2 mins you still don’t get any momentum, just stop and take a 15 min break. that means you’re really too tired and there’s no point in forcing yourself to complete your work.
9. Use reminders
set reminders on your phone for the tasks you need to do. for example, if you’ve planned to start work at 1500, set the reminder to ring 5 minutes before so you have time to gather all your stuff and ready yourself to do work. no excuses!!
set reminders for your breaks as well! those are equally important.
10. Reward yourself
if everything you need to do is done, give yourself a pat on the back. have you been extremely productive? great, treat yourself to your favourite drink/snack. honestly i feel like many of our brains function on the ‘reward’ system. if we reward ourselves for a job well done, we’ll be more willing to complete tasks and stay on time in the future (the brain thinks there’s a reward coming)
remember to take care of your mental health as well! this is one good way to ensure you don’t end up mentally exhausted.
Apps to help with time management
1. Tide - focus timer, meditation, beautiful and calming soundtracks (my fav!)
2. Pendo - everything in one tbh, schedule, to-do list, journal etc. (my fav too!)
3. Forest - focus timer $$$ (free alternative: flora)
4. Donut Dog - focus timer
5. Todoist - minimalist to-do list
6. Minimalist - minimalist to-do list
7. Google Calender - your entire schedule
8. Todait - smart study planner
a quick search will bring out many more! note these are all available on iOS but i’m not sure about google play. you don’t need everything to be productive. i rely only on Tide, Pendo and my iPhone calender and reminders. It’s less about having many ‘tools’ and more about how you properly and wisely utilise them to boost your productivity and manage your time.
also i don't think pendo is very well-known?? so this is how its interface looks like for 'Notes':
it's pretty, simple and clean and there are several themes to choose from! i rly like it omg HAHA (not a promo)
alright that's all! hope it helped :>
#study tips#time management#time management tips#procrastination#how to avoid procrastination#studying tips#study motivation#study inspiration#studyspo#studyinspo#study inspo#studying advice#study advice#student#revision#studyblr#study#studying#heyharri#heypat#heyfox#heypooh#lookraha#lookecho#looktin#lookbuse#heysol#myhoneststudyblr#elleandhermione#coralstudiies
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do u guys wanna hear some work drama. it's not drama it's just me being a bitch.
ok so at work at noon every day we get a delivery of new books and books from other branches, and usually we schedule two people back there to unpack and scan in all the books bc it's just a lot (usually 4-7 crates full of books). while they're on delivery, they take all the books from other branches that are holds and put them on a cart and then at 1, two other people will process and wrap all the holds and put them on the hold shelf. I usually put myself on holds at 1 because it gives me an hour to vibe and listen to music after I get off lunch.
so theres this lady at work who i never felt any particular way about. she gives "super into fitness and alternative medicine" vibes. anyway i put her on holds with me one day last week and she is fucking MIA for the first 20 minutes or so and then mostly sits on her phone instead of helping me for the rest. and i try to give her the benefit of the doubt, maybe theres something urgent shes dealing w, whatever. so i generate a list of expired holds to go pull while shes alphabetizing the cart of processed holds to be shelved, w the implication that she would bring the cart out when she was finished organizing them and we'd put them away together. i finish pulling the holds. I think "wow, it's taking her a long time" and go check and the cart is just sitting in the middle of the office and she has again vanished. ok. whatever. ticked. I finish the task on my own and make a note not to put her on holds.
then yesterday i made the mistake of putting her on delivery w my work friend. the truck actually normally gets there around 12:15 and you know this woman waits until the truck pulls up to go on break. so theres my friend in the back, shes an even newer hire than me, trying to deal w all this and having no clue where the person who is supposed to be helping her is. luckily im off desk so i can jump in to help her and we get a lot of it processed before she shows up again and claims she didnt know she was on delivery even though 1) I emailed it to her and 2) it is her job to check where she is scheduled.
like I could forgive either of these incidents on their own but both of them? for someone who has been here for years? no <3
i told my work friend that I wouldnt put this lady on delivery again but I'm like. tempted to put her on monday delivery/holds alone just to say fuck you. but that would make me look bad at my job so I wont. but I'm thinking about it <3 fuck you <3
like girlie you work at a library you are not sticking it to the man by slacking off or whatever, u are making ur (young new hire) coworkers lives harder. do ur job bestie! also please tell me when u like to take lunch and which tasks you hate so I can schedule ur lunch not then and put u on ur least favorite tasks as much as possible <3
#do not tell me to communicate with her. i know thats the adult thing to do. im fantasizing about being a real petty bitch leave me alone!#carly.txt#this sounds like bitching i love my job im just JDJDJD GIRL!!
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:0 enter the locker rooms!!
Mekaru - The bracelets are probably in the guys locker room, right?
Mekaru - So should I just get a head start on looking at the pool?
Maeda - That sounds good!
Kobashikawa - actually id say check the girls locker room too
Kobashikawa - no way of predicting how the groups would split up
Kobashikawa - and lo and behold, two girls got grouped together
Kobashikawa - so they wouldnt b able to get the bracelets unless tsurugi found a way to get them into the girls locker room
Maeda - Which, knowing him, he probably managed somehow.
Mekaru - Oh true... so I'll poke around in there then!
Mekaru - If you two finish in your locker room before I'm done, just knock and I'll head out!
Maeda - Wouldn't you rather investigate, look for a way out?
Mekaru - Not... really feeling too hot, so I'm not sure I'll find anything others won't...
Mekaru - It'll all be okay without me looking too much!
Kobashikawa - its fine if u need to go rest mekaru...
Mekaru - Don't worry! I've powered through way worse, I'll be fine!
~*~ [Lockers]
Maeda, narrating - They seem to be standard gym-sized lockers.
Maeda - At least, based off of what I've seen on TV...
Maeda - These are about twice the size of what was in my schools locker room.
Maeda - Used to have a hard time fitting my change of clothes into there...
Maeda - Not that I'm ever gonna reveal that to my classmates though. They don't need anything else to use against me.
Maeda - Anyways, they seem to be locked. None of them are open, and I don't think I'd be able to guess the combo for the lock.
~*~ [Benches]
Maeda - Just normal benches.
Maeda - Metal benches feel a bit rough for the pool locker room, wouldn't they be really cold?
Maeda - ...Not that I'd really sit down in a locker room. Kinda grosses me out, yknow?
Maeda - Is... that weird of me to say?
~*~ [Showers]
Maeda - I never really understood why you're supposed to rinse off before getting in the pool.
Maeda - Which is odd, considering how grossed out I felt whenever I saw someone not do it.
Maeda - ...Also, would it kill them to have curtains consistently put up instead of just sectioning off a few shower heads?
Maeda - Not the biggest fan of my body, and don't really trust some of my classmates to not make comments...
~*~ [Kobashikawa]
Kobashikawa - find anything?
Maeda - Not really... looks like all the lockers are shut tight.
Maeda - Hopefully Mekaru is having better luck, and the bracelets are hidden in the same spot in both rooms...
Kobashikawa - hopefully mekarus okay... she rlly seems off to me
Maeda - Mmm... hopefully it's just... yesterday, getting to her.
Kobashikawa - ?
Maeda - Like, she's just feeling nauseous because of the trauma from yesterday, and that's it.
Kobashikawa - makes sense... you doing alright?
Maeda - Huh?
Maeda - Uh... I think I'm fine, yeah... just thrown off some because I remember Kurokawa planning the exorcism and everything,
Maeda - So her suddenly dying right before that was supposed to happen has me a bit paranoid.
Kobashikawa - yeah, then there's her and uehara getting hurt...
Kobashikawa - kinda wish id asked inori more about the whole... brain issue thing
Kobashikawa - but no sense crying for what you can't have ig
Kobashikawa - im gonna climb up on some of the lockers to get a better view of this place
Kobashikawa - would u mind checking for the bracelets under the benches?
Maeda - Got it...
Maeda - Hey, do you think we could find anything in the lockers, if we could open them?
Maeda - I know you can't reply right now, sorry... but just think about it;
Maeda - Clearly, somethings up here, what with there being no other students.
Maeda - I saw tons of people on my way into the school, and now there's just no one? I don't trust it...
Maeda - So I almost wonder if there's anything in the lockers that could help us, any notes, or maybe a working phon-
Maeda - Actually, Kobashikawa, didn't you mention having your phone?
Kobashikawa - uhhhhh? when?
Maeda - When I first met you, I thought I remembered...
Kobashikawa - oh! yea i talk abt my phone on my card, but i went to check my bag for it at one point, i think when i talked to tsurugi,
Kobashikawa - and i couldnt find it.
Maeda - Oh... ah well, I'm sure even if we had a functioning phone, Monokumas found a way to keep us from contacting anyone.
Kobashikawa - yea...
Kobashikawa - maeda, go hop up on the bench in the corner, i think i see the bracelets on top of the lockers there
Maeda - I-I'm sure I could reach them!
Kobashikawa - Really? I'm taller than you without my boots, but I don't even know I could get them.
Maeda - ...Maybe I misjudged how high up the top of the lockers are.
Kobashikawa - rip </3
-(Orange Bracelet Obtained)-
~*~ You have gained: 2 Monocoins
Maeda - Well, other than the locker thing, we didn't find anything that could help...
Kobashikawa - yea but at least there's still other rooms
Maeda - And other people looking... let's go get Mekaru, and check out the pool, see if there's anything there.
//Kobashikawa starts to write a reply, but before Maeda can read it...
??? 1 - B-be careful!
??? 2 - Shhh! Just don't drop me!
??? 1 - I'm trying, but I don't want you to get hurt!
??? 2 - It's not a big fall!
//Kobashikawa and Maeda turn to look questioningly at each other, before heading to the pool door.
~*~
Maeda, narrating - Was that...?
Maeda - I should probably grab Mekaru now, but they might've already caught her attention.
{Knock on the Girls Locker Room Door}
[See Whose Voices You Heard]
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Thanks for being one of the last blogs left to discuss the show to the end. I understand the hurt and betrayal people feel right now. I feel it too, but as a new fan who binged 1-6 back in March, I keep thinking about the crazy moments that were reversed or resolved at the end of seasons. If it hadn't been for Jason's word of God post or the anon accounts, I would have scoffed at this "death", b/c it seemed like a setup. I may not like JR, but I need to see how he ends this before I criticize.
Yeah. I know exactly what you’re talking about.
I think in fandom, we have a hard time adjusting to the immediate storyline, and we forget the long term one. And this DOES seem like the story is not done. Usually when they die, it’s confirmed that they die. A hole in the head. That blank eye. Blown out into space. They die in someone’s arms. We see their last breaths. A dead body or grave. The light goes out. In this, we don’t see that. We see Clarke ripped away from the scene, her last sight the result of what she did.
No conclusion, no resolution, no CONFIRMATION-- in narrative anyway.
On social media we got goodbyes. But I have NEVER used social media as confirmation for canon. I can ONLY accept canon.
And canon is up in the air. It looks bad, I’m not gonna lie. But it isn’t confirmed, resolved, or concluded.
It’s the rumors that give us a “reason” for the lack of conclusion. And I can’t say that the rumors don’t explain it, because they do make sense.
But they’re still not canon.
Bellamy also died at the end of season 1. But he didn’t die. Clarke died at the end of season 4... we saw her, remember? Covered with radiation sores and falling to the floor, but she survived. Not that B knew. Speaking of season 4, Octavia also died in season 4. We saw her fall from the cliff, stabbed, and B collapsed on finding out. Season 6 Clarke died again. We saw the lights go out that time. No one believed it. Bellamy died at the beginning of season 7 too. No one believed it. Seems like we stopped believing when they die.
Within the show, they have the capability to save him. Bardo has a high level of tech, including medical tech, a disciple has his hand on Bellamy’s chest in the last scene, and they have immediate access to the medical labs by going through the anomaly.
The only thing that makes everyone take it for certain is the social media. Even if it looks terribly damning, I can’t take that as evidence.
STICK TO THE TEXT.
Yes, I am going to watch the next three episodes. I didn’t commit to all this hell to back out now.
The hardest thing to understand right now, for me, is not that B died. I expected him to die. I think I had him (and Clarke) at a 90% or 95% chance of dying this season. It’s the WAY it happened, with that lack of resolution. And the splitting up of Bellarke. That Clarke did it.
It seems to ruin the long term narrative of Clarke being the hero, Bellarke saving the world together, Bellamy saving Clarke while Clarke saves humanity, Bellamy’s character development and learning to let those he love make his own choices, Bellamy being a leader, Clarke understanding that some things are not worth it.
Like, there are TWO options that make sense with all this...
Bellamy isn’t really dead and this is a fake out to raise tension... which makes sense with the narrative and the way the story has been told for 7 years.
OR
Bellamy is dead and JR totally betrayed his narrative, Bellamy, Clarke, Bob, and the audience because he’s a mother fucking egotistical jackass. because even if bob quit for health reasons he didn’t need to tank the story to write him out.
Now, there’s been a fandom narrative of JR being a fucking egotistical jackass who is taking vengeance on fandom and various actors. So that slides very neatly into what the antis believe.
But that narrative never really fit the story on screen. I mean, I think yeah he’s probably an egotistical jackass, but he always put the story before anyone else. It was HIS story and he wasn’t going to let anyone tell him what to write. And he would kill off characters and doom ships and let story lines fade off into oblivion for ONE narrative, and that’s what he just killed, or appeared to kill in the last episode. So why would he now sink it? IDK. it’s weird and it makes no sense.
DID he just give up in the last season because he moved on to the other pilot-- which has no guarantee of being picked up, and seemes to be waiting on how THIS story does? Why would he do that when his name will be based on THIS show. And when we have a glaring example of showrunners who did that with GOT and ended up LOSING huge deals for new shows because of the mess they made. That seems remarkably stupid to not learn the lesson and to go down the exact same path, even to having one love interest kill the other, who was one of the main heroes.
Isn’t that WEIRD? IS JR COMPLETELY STUPID? Despite years of evidence to the contrary where he seems pretty savvy? Could he possibly be using that fandom fear and belief to make everyone believe he killed off Bellamy for no reason? Would he USE a social media account to manipulate viewers into having emotional reactions to the story by lying??? WELL NO. He’s not lying. He says this was Bellamy’s death but he doesn’t say he stays dead, or that Bardo can’t bring him back. Remember season 2? Lincoln died and they brought him back. And when he thanks Bob for his 7 years, that also is not a lie. Bob gave him 7 years. We’ve seen Bellamy’s story for 7 years. Whether it ends here or continues for another three eps. It’s definitely implying that he’s not coming back, but it’s not lying if he does come back.
Well, I don’t know. Maybe JR is completely stupid. I’ll wait to see if he stick the landing, but my faith is low. It’s just all very weird and makes no sense in a story that has always made sense if you follow his storyline. And as a writer I just don’t know why you would tank your long term story three eps before you finish it up. And he DOES love to scare us and make us feel anguished and kill of our mains and thinking ALL IS LOST before finding out that no indeed, all is not lost and our heroes can and do come back and reach victory.
THAT fits his story. But maybe he’s so desperate for us to believe it’s over that he’ll mislead us IRL to make us believe his plot twist in the narrative.
Can’t say I wouldnt prefer it to be a fake out, but if it is a fake out he’s still a HUGE fucking egotistical asshole.
I just can’t believe it until I see the canon. I need to see the conclusion, because this seems like a total trashing of the story, and that just makes no sense for what we’ve seen for 7 years. Actually, when I think about all of this, it gives me a little faith in the story back. Not a lot, but a little. BECAUSE IT MAKES NO SENSE. It is PURELY the fandom narrative that JR is an egotistical jackass and doesn’t fit with the canon narrative.
Listen, I don’t think I’ll ever get involved with a fandom again. it ruins the story. All this gossip and negativity and shipwars and harassment and I don’t even LIKE the behind the scenes tales of who did what to whom. I just want to watch the stories and enjoy what I enjoy. I wish we could talk about it all without creating this huge writhing mass of maggoty decay as so called fandom attempts to take apart everything good about a show we’re supposed to love.
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2/9/2015 v. 8/11/2020
1:Talk about the first time you watched your favorite movie. My favorite movie is Scream, and it started when I saw the midnight premier of Scream 4 with my dad back when I was in 8th grade, then Scream 1 came on AMC late on night and I just really like it
I still think Scream is one of my favorites, but Halloween has jumped up there just because I am obsessed with all things horror really lol. I started to love Halloween because of the new trilogy.
2:Talk about your first kiss. It’s really not that interesting but really like embarrassing. It was with my first boyfriend and I had just turned 15 and we were at the school just walking around and we went into the band hall and I was like ok im leaving and he was like wait and we kissed and i was like o
the same !
3:Talk about the person you’ve had the most intense romantic feelings for. I never really have had intense feelings for anyone. I d k
One my exes- I mean we were dating for awhile so that’s pretty intense to me.
4:Talk about the thing you regret most so far. I regret… Nothing really I mean, I have done really bad things in my life, but i don’t regret them
I regret failing like 2 semesters of college lmao and almost dropping out. If i didn’t then I would 1- would have been done earlier and 2- would have already completed a year of grad school but IDK also another is wasting lots of money in 2017-2018
5:Talk about the best birthday you’ve had. The best birthday I’ve had was.. Idk This year was was nice I saw Iggy Azalea in concert, then I celebrated my friends’ birthday then mine and it was just everyone got to get together so ya this year my 18th
For my 21st birthday I went to Portland, Oregon and spent the weekend there and it was pretty and my first time there so it was nice despite what I think about PDX now. I don’t even know what I was doing for my 19 and 20th birthday lol.
6:Talk about the worst birthday you’ve had. My 17th birthday because I was stuck 2 hours away from home with a bunch of nerds doing a band competition
That is still probably my worst birthday. I forget to mention that I was gone literally from like 7am to midnight. They werent a bunch of loser nerds, they were my friends, but I still wish I was just at home lol.
7:Talk about your biggest insecurity. I am skinny, but not fit. If I eat anything I get this like stomach and it makes me so sad. and ever since I got a job I work odd hours and I eat a lot of fast food and I’ve gained 10 pounds in 2 years and I guess i’m insecure about my weight
I am still insecure about my weight, and I probably weight like 5 pounds more than I did when I made this post 5 1/2 years ago.
8:Talk about the thing you are most proud of. We have band banquets for band, and I only went my sophomore and junior year, and seniors give out awards to underclassmen that are just jokes really, and both years 4 different seniors gave me an award for being the biggest gossip in the entire band and I was proud of that lol
Well since then I have graduated both high school and college. I am proud that I finished college !! A BS in Psych. Proud of myself that I got promoted (in 2017) at my job; i’m proud of myself that I have my own apartment, and blah blah basically just doing regular adult shit.
9:Talk about little things on your body that you like the most. I like my nose because of how perfectly fixed it is. I also really like my freckles/moles/dark marks idk what they are exactly, but they’re on my face and they look great
I still feel the same way about this, maybe add my eyebrows- they’re not like clean and nice they’re just expression markers on my face that i love.
10:Talk about the biggest fight you’ve ever had. I got into a fight with my old friend Angelica and that was almost 4 months ago and we used to be best friends and now we never talk.
When Janett didn’t talk to me all summer of 2019 because I told our other friend Angel something
11:Talk about the best dream you’ve ever had. I cant remember one
12:Talk about the worst dream you’ve ever had. I can’t remember one
13:Talk about the first time you had sex/how you imagine your first time. The closest thing i’ve had to like sex was being locked in a back of an SUV with a stranger drunk as fuck and naked and its embarrassing
Just awkward and nothing to which I expected.
14:Talk about a vacation. When I was 16, the high school band took a trip to Hawaii, and all my friends were in band so it was great. We did a lot of things, we toured Pearl Harbor and even played a few patriotic songs on the USS Miss. and our hotel was on Wakiki beach. I went snorkeling in some beautiful water and shit and idk just walked all around Hawaii having a great time omg we got on stage at the Hard Rock Cafe and sang with German people i miss it
Hm that was fun. But I.. went to NY with my ex and that was pretty cool because I literally love New York, and I went to NOLA two years ago (today actually) and got miserably drunk so that was fun too
15:Talk about the time you were most content in life. Probably just in the middle of junior year when everything and everyone was going with the flow
I feel like 2016 was a very content year because I remember nothing about it.
16:Talk about the best party you’ve ever been to. Idk which one to talk about the one where I had a lot of fun and risked my life or the one where there was a lot of drama stirred up and drank myself to sadness.
I haven’t really been to a party? I have gone out and had good times. Really anytime my friends and I go out I am having a good time
17:Talk about someone you want to be friends with. I am already friends with people I want to be friends with
18:Talk about something that happened in elementary school. I kissed a boy on the back of the head and i told I just fell onto his head
Let me think of another one. Back in like fourth grade my friend was in a wheel chair and his backpack was falling from the back and I was trying to grab it and i was only 3 feet tall i couldnt see over or wasnt paying attention and i crashed him right into the bookshelves at the library.
19:Talk about something that happened in middle school. A girl was mad at me because idk why lol and she pushed me in the hall way and I fucking flew across that hall on the floor and hit the wall she’s pregnant now
When I was in 5th grade (which is considered middle school in my district) I was standing on the play ground and someone threw a stick at my head and it knocked me the fuck out and I was bleeding from my temple.
20:Talk about something that happened in high school. In Jr. Year I was pulling into the parking lot but I was texting and I accidentally put half my car on grass area near the side walk luckily it was 7am and only one person saw me do it lol
One summer going into our senior year we had a party at Michelle’s house. First of all we were very drunk and Coby’s parents were like we are coming over and we cleaned TF UP so fast and sat on the couch and turned on I Know What You Did Last Summer and his parents were like interesting and and left and then we continued to drink anyways- we started playing truth or dare and my friend Angelica was like I dare u to kiss Anthony (someone I had liked prior) and he wouldnt and we started attacking him and calling him homophobic and hitting him with pillows lmao- him and I are still friend-ish
21:Talk about a time you had to turn someone down. I can’t think of something right now.
Literally anyone on grindr.
22:Talk about your worst fear. I’m afraid of having no career and being stuck doing something I hate and living paycheck to paycheck
Yeah, I’m scared of that still but I.. think just like being broke and jobless. RN with the pandemic we aren’t really working and still getting gov’t assistance, so. IDK being a real real adult scares me a lot.
23:Talk about a time someone turned you down. I can’t think of a time :)
One time in like 2016 maybe idk - this dude told me to come over and he lived far like not that far maybe 25 minutes lol far for me anyways I got to his apartment and there was a gate code and i asked him what it was and he didnt answer and it was like 2-3am and nobody was coming in or out and so i was like damn this sucks lmao
24:Talk about something someone told you that meant a lot. Nothing really has meant a lot to me. Everyone tells me the same thing over and over again and its so surface level
I still can’t think of anything but I’m sure the friends I have met since this and my friends Faith, Michelle, Peter, and Alisa have said something supportive that meant a lot to me.
25:Talk about an ex-best friend. Angelica Ramirez. She was my best friend for only 3 years, but together we went through A LOT of shit. We started out senior year just fine, but she lied about a few things and made a lot of us feel like crap in October. I won’t lie, I do miss her. We have too many memories to just forget, too many funny stories and great adventures. She helped me with too much, and sometimes I think about how I cut her out of my life and I mad a bad choice. But only time can heal things and I have moved on and truly found people that won’t make me mad every 30 seconds.
Brianna Pajak, I don’t remember anything about her except she was poor and we stopped being friends because she always wanted to fight and be annoying.
26:Talk about things you do when you’re sick. Lay on bed on my computer and watch TV
I normally just suffer and cry about wishing I was healthy again.
27:Talk about your favorite part of someone else’s body. Their…!!>>>???
I must have nice hands and ur nose must be nice too! so nose and hands. lol
28:Talk about your fetishes. none
yeah I don’t have any lol not that I can think of.
29:Talk about what turns you on. Idk i really like kissing and touching and this is awkward.
30:Talk about what turns you off. bad breath by
that and ugly/rough hands, acne sorry i know it is natural but, shorter than me lol, white people, long hair on guys, and thats about it i think hm i am single yes
31:Talk about what you think death is like. I think its like idk its scary tho
um idk i dont like thinking about death because i literally want to cry when i think about it.
32:Talk about a place you remember from your childhood. I remember being in trees a lot
My step grandma’s a lot because my parents were working and she would watch us. She passed away about a month ago :(
33:Talk about what you do when you are sad. I usually only tell one person and that person is Alisa and I cry sometimes to her and expect her to make things better and she does thank u
I be doing the same thing, I text someone and that person could really be anyone but it happened the other day and I texted Bri and she was very helpful.
34:Talk about the worst physical pain you’ve endured. I have no idea, I’ve never broken pulled strained twisted fractures or anything i have no life
I still haven’t done any of that stuff to my body. I also have burn scars but I did not feel those when it was happening. I would just say i guess my wisdom teeth coming in because I did not get them removed. I have 3 out lol.
35:Talk about things you wish you could stop doing. Pushing potential love interests away
I have had some ‘love interests’ since this post, but it’s been about a year now since and I kind of push away the opportunity of getting close to someone. I also need to stop being a bitch sometimes.
36:Talk about your guilty pleasures. eating
I would say idk eating was a stupid answer.
37:Talk about someone you thought you were in love with. never
I was in love and i didn’t ‘think’ I was in love. I don’t know what you mean by talk about them, they were my partner but we broke up hehe.
38:Talk about songs that remind you of certain people. Fireflies by Owl City reminds me of my 7th grade crush
Fancy by Iggy Azalea reminds me of my two friends Michelle and Alisa
idk anything else
um Idk. i rly cant think
39:Talk about things you wish you’d known earlier. I wish I would have known that
That it’s okay to tell people you’re struggling lol . That is okay to fail sometimes (school).
40:Talk about the end of something in your life. everything is just about to start
When I ended how to get away with murder I wish I never did I love that show with all my heart.
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EPHEMERAL 1 • JAEHYUN
2 . 3
Based on my dream, enjoy 💅🏻
Genre: smutty smut smut.
Pairings: bad boy!Jung Jaehyun × fem reader.
You walked towards him, the smell of the smoke getting stonger and stronger every step you take as you stopped beside his figure. Twiddling your cigar in your fingers, you asked him. Jung jaehyun is his name.
"Can i join?"
He looked at you, eyes dark like the night as you sat on table of the bench. Not waiting for a reply because you know damn well you would stay even he said no. You were curious. Curious about him.
He hummed, not paying any attention as he took a drag of his own cigarette. The smoke escaped his mouth as he breathed out, his ears and lips are red from the cold. You've heard a lot about him. The way your friends talk about him just adds to your curiosity even more.
You were supposed to be at home, it's like a routine that every night you sneak out just to avoid the chaos at home. It was nice being alone, but you were stupid if you didnt come up to Jung Jaehyun on your favorite spot.
"You're Jaehyun right?" You asked him, you knew his name already though. crossing your legs as your pleated skirt rides up to your thighs. You took out your lighter and light the end, taking a long drag while waiting for an answer. You need a distraction. You had a bad girl image and people think that you were bad to the bone. That's not entirely false though.
You still go to church and all, but there was that time when you fucked a guy named Mark. He was the sweetest boy you've ever laid eyes on. So pure and innocent. You jacked him off after church, you wouldnt be surprised if he took extra hours of bible study after you did it. And there was Jeno. He was a sweetheart. But he wanted a relationship and that made you freak out. At least you know that you give good head, right?
"Yeah. Who are you?" He answered, raising a brow at your direction as his gaze lowers to your bare legs. You chewed your bottom lip to contain a smirk. Damn, he was attractive. No wonder your friends had been talking about him nonstop. You heard about him being a bad boy, or him being in a gang and some made up rumor a bunch of girls made. But none of them told you that he was this handsome. Maybe they know better than have their target caught by you. Too late now.
"You dont know me? That's a shame." You cocked your head. Not having any plans to tell him your name. If he knows, he'll know your rep. It's not like you were ashamed, you couldnt care less about what people think of you. But you just need a release right now, hence, why you were wearing a skirt. Why you ask? Easy access.
"What do you want? And why the hell is a beautiful girl doing alone in here?" He turned to you. The moonlight illuminating his figure as he looked at you straight in the eyes. A smile etched on his lips as he took a drag of his cigarrette, flicking it to the ground and stomping it with his shoes.
"I have the same question, why are you here?" He sat next to you, the table creaking at his weight. You caught a whiff of his scent. He smelled so nice, like mint and cigar.
"All my friends are stoned. I'm not dealing with them right now." He chuckled, his deep voice filled the air as a smile ghosted his lips, his dimples prominent as he showed his charming pearly whites. Just like that he took your breath away, it's not the first time though, and feelings arent your forte anyway.
"You go to that College right? I heard a lot about you." You said simply. Letting him take the lead on the conversation as you blow out smoke, shaping your pierced tounge and forming your lips to make shapes.
"What kinds of things that you've been hearing?" He asked, even though his tone doesnt sound curious at all. You took a long final drag as you put out the bright red bud.
"Oh you know, They said that you like sleeping around, and that you have a big dick." Your voice got quieter as you reached the last few words, lacing it with as much seduction you can muster as the smoke reached his face. Of course you leaned closer, and he did too. Just like you wanted it. You had always like the control. The thrill and the excitement when youre being the person people think you are. Like a persona. You liked it, you know it's wrong, but you keep doing it. Solely for your own advantage. Pleasure mostly.
"How about we find out?"
In a swift, he had you between his arms. You uncrossed your legs as he peered into you, a satisfied smirk on his face. He looked at you like he knows something you dont. He looked at you like he knows everything that's going on inside your head. To be honest, you were intimidated. It's unlike you, but you were too turned on to give a shit. Not when the guy is Jung Jaehyun.
He looked at you for a long moment before he cursed again and ran a hand through his hair. You wanted to do that, too.
But instead, you got out of his grasp, dropping to your knees in and reached for his belt buckle. You undid it before he could protest and then reached for his semi-erect cock through his boxers. He was big, thank his parents. Hell, thank his grandma. It had been months since you had gotten some big dick.
"Wanna see me swallow your cock, Jae? All of it?"
His cock behind his boxers swelled in your hand. The muscles by his lower abdomen tightened. His eyes zoned in on you as you leaned. in to his bulge and pressed an open mouthed kiss to it, feeling him pulse against your lips.
"Fuck yes, and i dont even know your name yet."
"They better live up to their words." You muttered to yourself as you reached for his waistband and began tugging it down, releasing his dick.
Sweet fuck, now that's what you could actually call a glorious dick. Standing erect and thickly throbbing in the air from a trimmed patch of dark pubic hair, it was a vision to behold actually, it was a vision to beswallow.
Looking up and locking your eyes with him, you watched as Jaehyun watched you wrap one hand around his cock before slowly bringing him to your mouth. You opened up wide for him and actually heard your jaw click as you opened it far enough to fit him.
And then you took him in.
The hiss from Jaehyun's lips was the sexiest thing on this planet. As your mouth wrapped around his pulsating cock and began sucking on it, his hand came flying to your hair and instantly knotted itself in it. Hot breaths and low curses spilled from his lips. You swallow as much of his finely veined cock as you possibly could - and then some.
"Fuck, you're so good." He grunted harshly when your other hand cupped his heavy sac and fondled it. His grip on your hair tightened and almost gave you a headache if your body hadn't been flooding with freak juices and adrenaline.
Was it possible to be this turned on by a stranger? Maybe it was just a dick-crush.
As in, this dick was quite possibly becoming your favorite dick you've ever deep-throated, and you hadn't even finished him off yet completely.
You Wonder what it would feel like inside of you...
Almost as if reading your mind, Jaehyun pulled you off his cock with a harsh curse before he gripped your arm and yanked you up against the table, turned you around and pushed you against the table. You braced yourself against the cold wood and then sucked in a gasp when you felt his hands come to your skirt, yanking it up. A shiver went through as he then grasped your thong and yanked it down, instantly seeking out your wet folds and pressing down on your clit.
Like electrocuted, You jolted and bit your lip to suppress a loud moan when he began rubbing it aggressively, bringing you headfirst towards an orgasm.
The very next second, you felt him slip a single digit inside you. God, you were so fucking ready. You shamelessly ground against his finger in and out of you. His lips found the ball of your shoulder and began kissing it, his tongue feeling scorching against your skin. You were dripping wet, so close to coming, you could taste it.
"Now, Jaehyun," you begged him breathlessly when you felt yourself begin to spasm, closing around his fingers. "Now."
As if you shared a telepathic connection, he understood what you were trying to say with your vocabulary that had been reduced to only one-syllabled words, it seemed.
His fingers slipped out of you, and as you expected (or more likely had hoped), he packed a condom in his pocket, and at the sound of the foil tearing, you swore you almost did too. A few short seconds passed, but then you felt him; his blunt tip now coated in latex pressing against your wet folds, gliding against you with one target, and one target only.
"Oh, fuck." When he entered you, you swore you heard angels sing somewhere and you could barely stand as he continued sliding into you, his thick and long length finding solace inside your warm pussy.
Once he finally settled, you had never felt so full in your entire life - you even felt pain as he stretched you. A harsh moan then crippled your throat as he reared back and thrust inside you again, his cock slamming into You. You arched against him and threw yourhead back, felt his hand slam on top of yours as he continued to thrust into you, his breath right by your ear.
"Fuck, baby.. fuck." His breath was labored like yours, but yours completely vanished when he struck a spot inside you that made your vision dot black.
"Fuck, Right there!" With a short scream, you clenched around him, feeling him fuck you hard through it. His balls slapped against you and the slippery sound his cock made every time your pussy swallowed him, it was euphoric.
You moaned and reached your hand over your shoulder, finding his head and tangling your fingers in the thickness of his hair. His lips latched onto my throat and left you a mark to remember him by, once our little adventure was over and your body had been sated.
You could feel yourself reaching another Orgasm, could feel him also swelling inside you, chasing his own release. One of his hands came around your waist and kept you firmly standing. Every nerve inside you got fried as his cock ravaged you and had you biting your tongue not to scream again.
People are going to hear you, but like you actually gave a fuck.
With a roar that surprised even you, Jaehyun exploded and came generously inside you. You felt the muted spurts of his cum through the condom and that pushed you over, had you shrieking and shaking as you came apart all over him. You both rode through but then exhaled hard, Jaehyun resting his forehead in the crook of your neck.
Finally, after what had to be minutes, Jaehyun pulled his semi-hard cock out of me and took a step back, allowed you to turn around and lean against the table. Your eyes met and you both couldn't help but draw on our lips.
Jaehyun chuckled and shook his head at you as he began removing his condom, tying it before throwing it into the garbage can near you. Sorry to whoever will find that. He then buckled up while you still stood and collected yourself, lightly trembling.
Damn. You felt like you had become paraplegic at least.
"So.. did you cum?" Jaehyun chuckled when your voice died.
You lied trough your teeth as you mustered up the courage to compose yourself. Smoothing down your skirt as you looked at him straight in his brown orbs, a coy smile on your lips.
"No."
#jaehyun smut#jung jaehyun smut#jung jaehyun#nct#nct 127 smut#nct imagines#nct 127#nct smut#nct u#nct u smut#nakamoto yuta#kim doyoung#seo johnny#lee donghyuk#mark lee#moon taeil#jung yoonoh#kim jungwoo#wong yukhei#dong sicheng#lee taeyong
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Do you subscribe to the theory that Jamie is The Prince that was Promised/Azor Ahai? It certainly makes a lot of sense. I can't see anyone being Nissa Nissa but Cersei. There just aren't too many true couples on this show and if anyone was going to kill their loved one it would be him for so many reasons. I mention this because it could tie into the whole Sansa kidnapping plot. I can see this actually happening first. Jon will definitely put WW on hold for Sansa. Jamie killing Cersei
Also, Dany could fulfill the Younger more Beautiful Queen. This needs to happen before Cersei dies and Sansa just doesn’t fit that role yet. Dany could very well end up in KL trying to take the Throne from Cersei instead of helping with the WW. Sansa taking everything she holds dear also really doesn’t fit. I mean she thinks she took Joffrey from her but she really didn’t. But what she holds dear now is power. And the only realistic threat to that at the start of 7 is Dany.
So maybe Dany is on the Throne pretty early and during the WW? Sorry for the long ask. Thank you for answering!
Hey, nonnie!
Firstly never apologize for long asks. I love hearing from you guys. :)
Onto the questions:
Do you subscribe to the theory that Jamie is The Prince that was Promised/Azor Ahai?
No, I don’t. For one, I’m not convinced that The Prince that was Promised and Azor Ahai are the same person. Melisandre is the only one to mention both prophecies as pertaining to the same person but Mel is an especially unreliable prophecy reader. Aside from her, Maester Aemon mentions the Prince that was promised as well but makes no mention of Azor Ahai and it seems that Rhaegar first believed he was the prince that was promised to then switch and think that his son by Elia Martell was this prohecized hero. And because Rahegar was an idiot who could bungle a glass of water, he also believed that this was somehow related to the Dragon must have 3 heads prophecy of which we know absolutely nothing at this point.
Here’s what we know about the prince that was promised. He was “Born amidst salt and smoke, beneath a bleeding star” and:
The prince is said to have “a song”, the song of ice and fire.
We don’t know if Rhaegar also believed the prince that was promised was Azor Ahai so the entire connection between these 2 prophecies seems to come from Melissandre. And again, I wouldn’t put much stock in what she thinks because she’s a religious fanatic who actually manipulates events to suit the prophecy (having Stannis pull a fake Lightbringer from the flames on Dragonstone) because she really, really wants it to be true.
I’m pretty sure the prince that was promised is Jon. His is the only story that is linked to both fire and ice. He is the literal product of the song of ice and fire (the son of a Targareyen and a Stark) and his story is connected to both ice and fire through out. He fights against Ice in the form of the White Walkers and he encounters both the false Azor Ahai (Stannis) and now D*ny, who is the person associated the most with fire in the series. If the Dance of Dragons 2.0 and dark D*ny theories become canon, his song of ice and fire would be his titular role in both these great wars that are about to visit Westeros.
But this is only supposition on my part at the moment because we simply do not have enough information to make an informed guess on this theory.
Now, onto Azor Ahai. Who is this guy? According to the Ice and Fire wiki:
Darkness lay over the world and a hero, Azor Ahai, was chosen to fight against it. To fight the darkness, Azor Ahai needed to forge a hero’s sword.[3] He labored for thirty days and thirty nights until it was done. However, when he went to temper it in water, the sword broke. He was not one to give up easily, so he started over.
The second time he took fifty days and fifty nights to make the sword, even better than the first. To temper it this time, he captured a lion and drove the sword into its heart, but once more the steel shattered.[3]
The third time, with a heavy heart, for he knew beforehand what he must do to finish the blade, he worked for a hundred days and nights until it was finished. This time, he called for his wife, Nissa Nissa, and asked her to bare her breast. He drove his sword into her living heart, her soul combining with the steel of the sword, creating Lightbringer, the Red Sword of Heroes.[3]
Although he had Lightbringer, Azor Ahai did not fight alone.[5] The Jade Compendium mentions that when the hero thrust the blade through a monster, the creature burst into flame.[6]
So Azor Ahai is a mythical figure that hails from Asshai and he kills his wife in order to forge a sword that then kills creatures by bursting them into flames. Cool …
Now, considering that this legend comes from across the world from the place where the Long Night happened, that this grisly tale of human sacrifice is toted around by religious fanatics who then use it to burn people at the stake, does it seem likely to you that this guy is meant to be the savior of humanity? Does it seem likely that this obsession with fire could actually lead to defeating the WWs, creatures we know are impervious to fire?
Also, note that the actual story of Azor Ahai is not told to us by Melissandre, Azor Ahai’s greatest fan girl but rather it’s told to Davos by his pirate friend, as a cautionary tale about the dangers of believing in prophecies and the dark underbelly of blood magic.
I think it’s far more likely that Azor Ahai is not a hero. He’s a villain and the elemental opposite to the Night King. R'hllor followers herald Azor Ahai’s second coming with such encouraging words as: “ he will bring an eternal summer” which sounds great if you worship fire but in reality an eternal summer is about as bad as an eternal winter. If the WWs unbalance the world by plunging it into night and winter, Azor Ahai is supposed not to bring balance back but to unbalance it in the opposite direction.
Considering the placement of Azor Ahai in complete opposition to the WW and the obsession with fire of the followers of R’hllor, I’d say that the best candidate for this position is one D*enerys Targareyen, which doesn’t sound surprising since many people theorize the same. The twist is that AA was never meant to be a hero but rather an antagonist. @trinuviel has a fantastic series regarding this topic and I would encourage you to read it. She goes into a lot more detail than I am able to provide.
If anyone is destined to be the hero to save the world from the Long Night that character is Bran Stark. Except that his story doesn’t link to Azor Ahai but rather to the legend of the Last Hero, who is also identified as Bran the Builder (this connection is not fully established yet but I believe the characters of the Last Hero and Bran the Builder to be one and the same). What do we know about the Last Hero?
Legends of the north state the last hero and his companions went in search of the children of the forest during the Long Night, thousands of years ago. The only survivor of the company after attacks from giants, wights, and Others, the last hero eventually reached the children and gained their assistance. The Night’s Watch then formed and won the Battle for the Dawn. This ended the generation-long winter and sent the Others into retreat,[1]possibly to the Land of Always Winter. The fate of the last hero is unknown.
If the theory that Bran the Builder and the last hero being the same person is true, then we also know that this first Bran (who incidentally is mentioned in connection to our Bran in the series by Maester Luwin), with the help of giants and the children of the forest, also built the Wall to keep the WWs at bay. So the legend in Westeros, the epicenter of the first Long Night, includes no human sacrifices and no mention of fire but does include a Wall that still stands to this day that has magical properties.
As for Nissa Nissa, it’s hard to know who or what she represents at this point. We don’t know how much of Azor Ahai’s story is made up or embellished and we don’t know the true purpose of this story. I don’t think the show will shed much light on this since the Nissa Nissa story is never really brought up in the show. What I do believe is that no matter what this turns out to be, it won’t be played straight. In a series that has highlighted the dangers of prophecies, I just can’t see a human sacrifice, if it does anything, to lead to anything good or at least to its intended purpose (people theorize that the burning of Shireen paid for Jon’s life, however that was not the intended purpose of that sacrifice, nor is that an element present in the repeated resurrections of Beric Dondarrion).
I do think Jaime is the valonqar that “shall wrap his hands about Cersei’s pale white throat and choke the life from her” but I don’t think that has anything to do with the Azor Ahai and/or Prince that was promised prophecies.
Also, Dany could fulfill the Younger more Beautiful Queen. This needs to happen before Cersei dies and Sansa just doesn’t fit that role yet.
I disagree. I believe that D*ny is a red herring for this prophecy, much in the same way that Maergery was a red herring. D*ny seems the obvious answer but her story isn’t linked to Cersei’s in any way. Their clashing is incidental, because one sits the Iron Throne and the other covets it. There’s nothing personal there to make the fulfillment of this prophecy resonate.
Aye. Queen you shall be… until there comes another, younger and more beautiful, to cast you down and take all that you hold dear.
You could assume that this “other” is another queen but it need not be. “Another” could simply refer to another person/woman. Or Sansa could be queen by that point. That is also possible. If the marriage between her and Jon happens prior to the downfall of Cersei, she could be another queen. Also Sansa has been intimately involved in all of Cersei’s tragedies even though she is not directly responsible. She was the one that carried the poison that killed Jofferey, the war with her brother is the reason why Mycella was sent to Dorne, Jofferey’s death leads to Tommen becoming king and eventually killing himself. And, by the end of this series, Sansa might end up as queen of the Seven Kingdoms effectively replacing Cersei.
It isn’t that Sansa is directly responsible for what happens to Cersei but that she ends up taking everything from her in a way that no one could have predicted unless you look back at the events. This is the type of twist that GRRM loves to use with his prophecies, whereas D*ny being the YMBQ would be playing it straight and rather uninspiringly so.
There’s also the matter of D*ny being foreshadowed never to touch the Iron Throne. They made a point of showing it in the series so I’m pretty certain D*ny will never sit down in that chair or be Queen of the 7 kingdoms even temporarily.
Thanks for the ask!
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1, 2, 17, honestly all of them if you’re up to it
1 - already answered
2. Do you have a personal favourite among your OCs?
L O R D T jupiter fuck man got damn id die for jupiter
3. Have you ever adopted a character or gotten a character from someone else?
i have adopted characters before, but ive never done anything with them, and i have received characters Back from people but besides that nah
4. A character you rarely talk about?
HI PLEASE I BEG OF YOU ASK ABOUT THE GODS PLE AS E IM DYING
5. If you could make only one of your OCs popular/known, who would it be?
fuck uh.. honestly if its only semi popular would i do this bc being Well Known would be nice, yeah, but.. it scares me? idk but uh probably leo or aero, theyre two boys i hold close to my heart
6. Two OCs of yours that look alike despite not being related?
:) eldur and leo kinda? idk i try not to make any of them look alike rip
7. Are your OCs part of any story or stories?
YES! theyre actually all part of one universe called cooking with demons! i have a whole game planned out for the man cast kinda? but all in all its all set within one universe, with multiple different stories occurring within it jhfdksg
8 - already answered
9. Would you ever be willing to give any of your OCs to someone else?
unless specfifically made for them upon request, no. ive already tried that once and it lead to me losing any and all control i had over my characters. At this moment, i only “share” a few ocs with my boyfriend @coffee-burglar and even then, its taken almost a year to even be able to do that
10. Introduce an OC with a complicated design?
uh, all of them are kinda complicated for me, but as of right now, that would go to leos full form. (if u want a ref hmu and ill post it, but it wont be my art)
11. Is there any OC of yours you could describe as a “sunshine”?
like a ray of sunshine? yeah! angel and stitch would fit perfectly for that!
12. Name an OC that isn’t yours but who you like a lot
@coffee-burglar their oc chrome n koh, or derek but thats bc im a hoe
13. Do you have any troublemaker OCs?
aero, jhor, innis, leo are all trouble makers to some degree, leo being the most trouble some
14. Introduce an OC with a tragic backstory
uhhhh fuck what counts as tragic?
i guess id have to say leo or jupiter mostly, but eldur fits too
15. Do you like to talk about your OCs with other people?
if youd let me i would yell about these fucks for hours on end, ive done it
16. Which one of your OCs would be the best at biology (school subject)?
the best but wouldnt enjoy it: Jupiterthe best and would absolutely enjoy it: colby
17. Any OC OTPs?
stitch/lavaaero/kohcolby/derek/inniswill/happiness aeyr/Eberictderek/Xhaztolleo/eldur
18. Any OC crackships?
jhfkdfsjghdfkjhgdkfjsgl i never talk abt it but will/aero is fucking A+
19. Introduce an OC that means a lot to you (and explain why)
ah,, leo. i originally made him to project the worst in myself onto, and because of that ive made his life a living shit hole. but,, recently ive been hell bent on giving him a good ending, one where he heals, and lives his life ok, where he finally, finally has a chance to be happy and get help. its,, kind of been a tiny growing point for me? he just, means a lot to me because of that haha
20. Do any of your OCs sing? If they sing, care to share more details (headcanon voice, what kind of songs they like etc)?
uhhh all of their voice claims are songs n such but only a few of them actually sing in canon! heres the voice claims of the ones who do sing:
Aero - thats his voice, but hed probably more likely to sing Something Like ThisAngelStitch - this is her voice! but shed be much more likely to sing something a lot more upbeat, kind of like thisColby (its jeremy from bmc jghfdkg)
and one i dont have a voice claim for yet that does sing canonically is Sycamore!
21. Your most artistic OC
!!!! oh thatd easily be will! hes nothing professional at all, but he does enjoy drawing and making diy type projects :0c hazels also artistic but with food :0c but what would you expect from a kitchen witch
22. Is there any OC of yours people tend to mischaracterize? If yes, how?
Hi My Names Skinny Penis And No One Has Ever Even Looked At My Ocs For More Than Two Seconds
23. Introduce OC that has changed from your first idea concerning what the character would be like?
lordt all of them would fit that, but the one thats changed the most? lordy thatd probably be will! he used to be a persona that was mostly only interested in dying and getting fucked, but now hes? evolved into a fully fledged character, and has even changed from being human lmao
24. If you could meet one OC of yours, who would it be and why?
jupiter, simply because he is The Biggest Comfort i have. hes,,, really important to me and i love him a lot
25. The OC that resembles you the most (same hobby, height, shared like/dislike for something etc?)
:) its bold of you to assume they dont all resemble me in some way. the most though? damian. lazy motherfucker with 200 emotional issues and no motivation to fix any of them
26. Have you ever had to change your OC’s design or something else about them against your will?
…yeah.
27. Any OCs that were inspired by a certain song?
Nope, most tend to be born from ideas spawned by me n my bf concepting about my ocs, and what would happen if this thing happened? yknow?
28. Your most dangerous OC?
He has yet to be revealed >:)c his names icarus
29. Which one of your OCs would go investigate an abandoned house at night without telling anyone they’re going?
INNIS, GOD INNIS WOULD AND HED PROBABLY DIE
30. Which one of your OCs would most likely have a secret stuffed animal collection?
secret: damiannot so secret: colby
31. Pick one OC of yours and explain what their tumblr blog would be like (what they reblog, layout, anything really)
uHHhhHh
damian would probably have a very shitty coded blog theme (or default) and would genuinely only reblog shitty, abstract memes, and nice food recipes for hazel to make him
32. Which one of your OCs would be the most suitable horror game protagonist and why?
protagonist? if youre going for the scared baby, colby. if ur going for the stoic “thats weird but ok” one, innis or aero.antagonist tho???? Leo and angelica :)
33. Your shyest OC?
uh, a oc thats genuinely shy and not just anxiety filled? angel :0c shes had a very limited interaction pool with anything thats not other angels so she tends to shy away from others bc she really, really doesnt want to get into awkward situations
34. Do you have any twin characters?
Jupiter and leo!
35. Any sibling characters?
Jupiter, leo, angelica, damian, eldur
jupiter, leo, damian, and angelica are all related via their dad, while eldur is related to damian via their mom
36. Do you have OC pairs where the other part belongs to someone else (siblings, lovers, friends etc)?
uhh if im understanding this question right yeah i do! derek, koh, n a lot of others belong to @coffee-burglar ! ive just roped them into my universe dkjfhkdjgh
37. Introduce an OC who is not quite human
Op All Of My Characters Are Inhuman
38. Which one of your OCs would be the best dancer?
surprisingly? aero! hes got really good rhythm and can actually dance really well, its kinda scary
39. Introduce any character you want
:)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) Ill let yall have a choice, pick one
1.) Lust2.) Greed
40. Any fond memories linked to your characters? Feel free to share!
fond?? uh,, not really. but damian does have a very important memory attached to him.
tw for suicide ment hjgkdfs
with damian, i created him after i tried to kill myself and was stuck in a mental hospital. i had just finished reaing the first shadowhunters book, and decided to try and draw the first demon(???? was that what he was?? im a dumbass and its been over 2 years) you met, which had bright blue hair and if i remember correctly, electric green eyes? but yeah. i made him to cope with all the mental stress i had while being forced to be in that hospital, and hes become very close to my heart because of that
41. Has anyone drawn fanart of your OCs? If yes, maybe show a picture or two here (remember sources & permissions!)
!!!!!!!!! yeah!!! my boyfriends drawn damian and most of my characters bgjkfdhgkfdsgl but one i do hold close to my heart (bc at the time, i barely knew them) was when @stuck-in-the-ghost-zone drew aeyr! it made me really happy tbh. i still have it saved to my phone actually!!!
42. Which one of your OCs would be the most interested in Greek gods?
uhhhh,,, provided that they found a way to get anything involving earth and their beliefs itd probably be either angel or colby. angel enjoys learning anything and everything she can, while colby enjoys hearing about the Tea™ that comes with greek shit
43. Do you have any certain type when you create your OCs? Do you tend to favour some certain traits or looks? It’s time to confess
lordt ok
i really just? enjoy making demons really, or anything that doesnt quite fit “conveniently attractive” in at least one form they have. (i also favor making guys bc im Gay)
44. Something you like about your OCs in general
how well theyre coming together, for so long, their stories have been little fractures and pieces that never fit together. Fragments. but now, theyre almost fully put together and its… wonderful to see
45. A character you no longer use?
a hi have.. one. their name was angel aura, a steven universe oc. i got rid of them because of too many.. bad things.
46. Has anyone ever told you that you treat your OCs badly?
not directly, but yes. it.. actually helped me give a lot of them a ok life, or at least a good ending
47. Has anyone ever (friendly) claimed any of your OCs as their child?
@coffee-burglar eldur, colby, will n a few others lmao
48. OC who is a perfect cinnamon roll, too good for this world, too pure
ELDUR GOD ELDUR PLEASE SOMEONE GIVE THIS KID BACK TO HIS MOM
49. Which one of your OCs would most likely enjoy memes
damian
50. Give me the good ol’ OC talk here. Talk about anything you want
ghjkfgkfdhgklfjhglkjdfhgslfjdgh give me a actual thing to talk about bc im dying op
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hi maddie <3 happy to hear from you again. i figured out you probably had good reasons for not being able to answer my ask so dont worry.
i hope you enjoyed your time in moscow. my mom was there last year and the photos she took of the city were beautiful.
yes i am a newish carat. ive been a kpop stan for less than a year and it took me about a month to become a multi and omfg i fell in a very deep hole hahahha. thinking that vernon is cute or whatever is a very strong mood. i really wish i gotten into kpop much earlier bcs i felt like i missed out on the greatest era of so many groups (2017-2018). also about my bias: no, he wasnt my bias from the beginning. it was minghao when i started stanning but he always was in my wrecker line but... idk with time going by i really started liking him a lot :)
very sad to hear that you kind of lost interest in pentagon bcs they actually are one of my ult groups but i get that relationship you explained... i have the same with bts.
i dont really know your taste in music (maybe hit me up with one of your playlists if you want to)... then i could maybe give you better recs for which bg you possibly would like bcs there are so many talented groups i wouldnt know which one to recommend to you.
anyways if you are okay with it i also will give you an ask about this ( and last) weeks promts/missions:
1. whats a svt song you like but most ppl dont like?
2. idk if youve seen this weeks promt yet but there it is and this actually fits well with me asking you for a playlist earlier without even realising it. maybe choose one of those and try to include you personal perference maybe?? ofc only if you feel like it.
i hope youre well and enjoyed your weekend.
-carat anon <3
hello <3 it took me a minute to finish my playlist hehe; i usually just throw all the songs i like into one big library that i constantly play on shuffle (yes its exactly as messy and convoluted as it sounds lol) but i tried my best to create a somewhat cohesive playlist for u !
ive been listening to a lot of 00's & 80's inspired synth pop lately so i guess this playlist is kinda based on that ? maybe ??? i'll be honest im really bad at organizing music so um.. make of it what u will ! i really hope u find at least one song u like from this list <3
1. love me 4 me - rina sawayama
2. caffeine - eyedi
3. black pearl - sunmi
4. lazybaby - dove cameron
5. dance alone - tayla parx
6. girls - vetta borne
7. eat my love - bibi
8. evita ! - devita
as for a svt song i like that most people dont... thanks maybe ? its not a widely disliked song per se, but a lot of carats seem to agree it sounds a little generic (fair enough!). personally i dont think thats necessarily a bad thing though? like,,, its not my favorite svt song, but i would probably rank it a little higher than most other carats
oh yea moscow was wonderful ! <3 its not my first time there so the only big touristy spot we visited this time was the red square,, i mostly just hung out w my aunt and went shopping, wandered around a bit and stuff ! it was still super exhausting tho. im from a relatively small town so im not used to taking several subways and busses to get to my destination,, by the time we'd arrive i'd already be sleepy and sore ^^" do you travel a lot?~
i wouldnt say i lost interest in pentagon because i do still love the group and their music & i wish i could get back into them, but everytime i try to i feel more like a spectator than part of the fandom, it doesnt feel the same anymore i guess ? you could say im more of a casual fan of them now! but its so cool that i got paired up w someone who ults them hehe who's your bias in pentagon? ^^
speaking of biases, i was actually thinking that if u asked me to guess your svt bias now, i would say minghao so its funny that he was in fact your first bias :') what are your 3 favorite things about your current bias? you can be vague about it if you don't wanna reveal too much, of course!~
take care ! <33
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Text
Epilogue
Vale Halleck sat at her desk, and glanced out her wide window to see a city skyline of cranes, hover constructors, drones, and workers busying themselves. In the far distance, a dim glow reminded her that she was on the same hemisphere as the Imperial Palace.
She opened a side drawer and looked at a slug pistol she kept loaded, until sliding it shut again; she hoped it would not be necessary.
Before her, a tidy leather-bound book rested. She ran a finger over its spine, then glanced at a framed photograph of her and a military man.
The door to her office, framed by artificial plants, buzzed repeatedly.
“Enter” she said, gulping slightly.
Shadowed somewhat by the bright hall lighting which backlit the figures robe, a menacing presence stood. It clanked and hissed as pistons moved and machinery churned beneath its simple dull red robes, its only feature visible in the light the two dull orange lids of a biomechanical gasmasked face.
The figure stepped forward into the neutral light of Arch-Medicae Halleck’s office, and the door gently slid shut.
Halleck gestured, and with a holo display enabled blinds for her window, blocking out the evening lights of the rebuilding Imperial superstructure of Terra.
“Why have I been summoned.” The tech-magos intoned, clearly impatient despite her dispassionate mechanical voice.
“I’d like your assistance with a project I’m conducting, Magos Augustine.” Halleck began, carefully laying out her thoughts.
“This is beneath my talents. Other projects demand my attention.”
“I’m certain your lords in Malcador’s personal organization can wait.”
The magos immediately drew a pistol, and fired it without hesitation at Medicae Halleck- only for the shot to impact a wall.
Halleck considered the reaction from her office, watching the magos through a holo window.
“I’ll cut to the heart of things, Magos Augustine, or do you prefer Adept Klicke? I’m summoning you here to get your testimony regarding a captain you briefly worked alongside of during the Horus Heresy, Jan Harlock.”
The magos froze, her pistol grip shaking, ultimately a mechadendrite reaching out, retrieving the weapon, and holstering it as she dropped her arm.
“What?” The mechanical voice asked.
“I started information gathering when I recieved word my lover had died on Centauri Prime. General Storm, you likely wouldnt have known him well. He had taken an interest in your army captain during the great crusade, and we had a file prepared that would have released him from Imperial service. But..”
Halleck sighed, and tossed her arms up gently. “Horus happened. So much for that.”
The Magos listened, saying nothing.
“I was curious about what happened to him, especially after i learned he was there when Storm died. I’ve been doing some digging ever since. Until last week, two days after the second anniversary of his death on Hesperax, I got my hands on this.”
Halleck tapped the bound book on her desk.
“I recovered it from the army’s property claimage system- it seems Harlock didnt have any next of kin to pick up his belongings. Almost all of it was put up as army surplus, destroyed, or handed off to new troops, but they had nothing to do with his personal writings, which he kept seperate from his own mission logs.”
Making a tent with her fingers, Halleck looked at the Magos. “Lets finish this charade before we go on. The door to my office is to the left, its time you left my waiting room.”
The door opened, and the magos walked through it, remaining silent.
“Good, now were face to face.” Halleck said, watching the reactions of the tech priestess.
“How do you know who I am?” the adept asked. “Do you really think your the only one with connections? Where do you think people go after they get cut up by traitor marine remnants they were hunting on Terra, over a year after it was declared traitor-free? There are only so many ‘construction accident’ excuses one can make until they need a good doctor to come in and care for the entire situation.”
The magos folded her arms.
“Your compromising my cover for a dead man.”
Vale couldnt help but be surprised. “I knew you martians had metal hearts, but you’re impressively blunt. Is that a defense mechanism? Or did you fall into his arms by accident one night? These writings outline your relationship clearly.”
The magos recoiled slightly, her stance changing. “And just what gives you the write to read them? You weren’t there. What the hell do you know?!”
Halleck nodded. “I see. I’m in mourning too, you know. Its only been two years now, since the apocalypse. Thats what I like to call it. What other word suffices?”
The magos snapped: “I’m not in mourning- I’m-”
“Listen. I’ll answer your question. The reason I read these documents is because no one else will. I don’t know why Harlock wrote all he did. Maybe he felt good to have a release, or a tell-all. But as far as war memoirs go this is surprisingly frank and honest. Usually I read about super-men thwarted only by circumstance. This reading is hard, honest, and carefully considered.”
The magos paused for a time. It was clear she was looking at the book, considering her options.
“What will you do with it?”
Halleck ran her fingers over the book. “In my opinion this should be preserved in any museum of the crusades, and the ones that we’llmake for the Heresy as well. But- there are many accounts already. And I don’t think the colourful words here really fit that. Your old captain had a knack for making his diaries quite readable for a common man.”
The Magos walked up and gently picked up the book, flipping through entries.
“There is a lot here.”
Halleck slowly drew a lho stick and lit it, leaning on her desk with a sigh.
“Well, you aren’t wrong about that. Its not just his words too. Theres a copy of my notes and investigations as well. As much data on that regiment of his that I could. Records from remembrancers of the crusades, sketches of him, recordings of bawdy drinking songs, the works. I’ve had a bit of free time- and I think you and I both know how dangerous that can be.”
Halleck exhalled a stream of smoke, gently sucked up by soundless environment fans above her.
“But, I’m a poor writer, and I dont want to hand this off to some hack fraud war propagandist to turn this into some Imperial Army adventure piece. I’ve considered it. I’d like you to edit and revise that mess of journals and notes into something readable- from the perspective of someone who was actually there. Who could make the hard calls on what is or is not cut. Excise yourself if you must meddle with them- I’ve considered that too. Or burn them, if you really don’t care about him, or your memories there.”
Halleck turned, her jaw taut.
“But you do, don’t you. You can’t just drop this into a furnace and forget about it all. I couldnt. Not after what I read.”
The magos remained silent, flipping through pages.
Halleck stared at her, then slumped back in her chair, staring at the blinded window and enjoying her lho stick.
“...Very well. This can be done.” The magos said, in her unnatural mechanical voice.
Halleck exhaled.
“Good. It’s all there, and on a data disk near the back as well. I can help get it to publishers when your done. I cant promise you it will be the widest release- given the saturation in the market of books just like that... but maybe he’ll live on as more than some anonymous grave in a centauri state graveyard.”
The magos nodded, folded the book into her robes, and made to leave.
“One more thing.” Halleck said, finishing her lho stick.
“August 3rd, two years ago. Port Vangelis. Why didn’t you show? Near as I could tell you were alive and able. And dont give me some line about the Inquisition.”
The magos stopped as she stood upon the threshold to the exit.
“Colonel Harlock died on Centauri Prime. The heresy took what little fragments that were left of that noble man and ground them into a fine paste, like so many others. Do you think I could have redeemed the war for him? Do you think that there was anything any of us could have done? Behind the deeds, he was the most wounded human I have ever met. Do you want the truth? I didn’t go, because I was scared. Scared of becoming like him. Scared to see the face of 800 years of war. I’m not some galactic hero, Vale. Neither was he. He was just a man, a soldier, who earned his survival by paying the price no one dared: his soul.”
The magos turned, her hood glowing from the light emanating from the magos’ mask.
“Even machines have souls, Halleck. To peer into the absence of one, is to peer into chaos. You think Harlock survived the Horus Heresy? Wrong. He fought it every single day. Until at last, mercifully, he didn't have to any more.”
With that, the Magos crossed the thresh-hold, exited the room, and left.
//
CHAPTER 1: HARLOCK, THE AUXILIARY
...
[The End]
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gOD okay im doing a rant about work bc i dont know where else to put it and i need to Screm™
(Its v long srry)
For people who are new, I work in a hospital, i work in an ER, and im a secretary. All i do is answer calls, transfer calls to doctors and nurses, and set up transportation for patients when theyre deemed ready to go upstairs (by the doctor and the nurse) after the admitting department has provided a bed for the patient.
I cannot stress that last bit enough; i set up transportation AFTER all steps have been checked off. I am the LAST person in a chain of events that allows a patient to get upstairs. As a secretary I have no actual power; i am physically unable to interact with any part of this process except for the one assigned to me.
SO
Around 12:20, i get a call from a man asking for a status update on their father. Elderly man whos been waiting for a bed for about 2 hours now. Our ER is insanely crowded compared to most hospitals and today our census was around 90-100 (which is average for us). Having a long wait time is to be expected, especially since the floors patients get admitted to are equally booked and crowded.
So i tell the man the typical response i give to people inquiring about relatives waiting to go upstairs, “the patient is going to be staying overnight but there is currently no bed assigned.”
“so do you know when he’ll be going upstairs??”
“No, from my screen it says that they are still currently waiting for the bed to become available on the floor. So until the space is freed up somehow, they will have to stay in the Emergency Room.”
Now this is usually when they say “can i speak to the nurse taking care of so n so; i just want to make sure theyre okay” or “oh thats okay, i just wanted to make sure they were on the board”. But no, this dude couldnt be okay with either of those choices.
“So you cant tell me when theyre going upstairs?”
“No, I cant. Were not the ones who distribute the beds. Thats Admittings responsibility.” (I literally just gave him is answer 30 seconds ago)
“So who can I talk to to get information on my dad?”
“…do you…do you mean his current status? Because then I can transfer you to his nurse-”
“No i mean information on his bed.”
“Admitting.”
“Can u transfer me there?”
So I transfer him. Poof, gone, goodbye, hope he gets his answers.
IMMEDIATELY, he calls back. “Is this the emergency room?”
“Yes, how can i help you?”
*repeats the entire thing again*
“Sir, i CANT help, admitting is the only department that can give you any answers. If theyre transferring you back to me, its because they cannot help you.”
“But there has to be some kind of waiting list. If hes going upstairs, who determines who gets a bed upstairs first?”
So like, the problem is that he 1) does not work here and 2) does not understand what the actual issue is. Because his dad is most certainly next in line. The problem is that the floors are so filled to the brim with sick patients that theres No Space For Him. Its not us trying to withhold beds, its us having more sick patients than we can handle.
And its even more complicated than that: some people are special needs and require an enclosed room. Some people are in isolation, some people are contagious, some people are a fall risk, some people need security, some people need 24/7 surveillance. Because the floors are so packed, we have Hallway Beds which is basically just the ER but with less patients so its calmer and quieter. Some people dont qualify for the hallway placements or ‘Overflow Beds’ because of the aforementioned needs.
Basically, his dad needed a bed on a floor that was at max capacity and unless there were some extreme last minute changes, there wouldnt be any space.
So i tell him “We CANT speed up the process any faster, we have to wait for people to leave the floor and make space for him.” Its like a car on the curb blocked in by two other cars. Yeah, you want the space that car is in, but until those other two cars are dealt with, youre just gonna have to sit there.
He asks if he could get transferred again so I transferred him.
They IMMEDIATELY transfer him back. So i transfer him again. This time, before they transfer him back to me, they tell us to transfer him to our Charge Nurse. So we do that. And for 5 minutes, hes on the phone w our Charge before she tells us to transfer him back to admitting. So we transfer him AGAIN.
and he calls us !! Either they hung up on him or they ignored the call but he calls back asking for the Charge Nurse. And when she refuses to pick up, he asks for admitting.
This went on for over a fucking hour. An hour of ONE fucking ignorant entitled selfish piece of shit calling and harrassing us to page “The Charge Nurse” “Admitting” “The nurse taking care of my dad” “The DOCTOR taking care of my dad”.
And every single time he called it was for one of these people. And the problem was that we all talked to him!! All of us!! I talked to him! My coworkers did! The charge, admitting, the nurse, the doctor !! They all answered and he still kept calling. And it was getting to a point where we started ignoring his number because he was stopping us from answering OTHER calls.
And he would call from other numbers because we werent answering his call.
Just
AN HOUR AND A HALF of nonstop calling for what ?? To expedite your dad upstairs?? To skip everyone else whos been waiting ahead of him? Why do u think your dad deserves special treatment??
No one understands how our paging system works; i just hold the call and it gets set to 1 of 19 speeddial numbers. And i page that specific speeddial number overhead in the loudspeaker. I cannot physically force anyone to pick up that number; if they hear it and choose to ignore it, i can never MAKE them answer it.
At around 1:30, i notice that his dad has received a bed. Which is good! So when he calls, im still fucking irritated but i tell him “is this about your dad? Bc he now has a bed and-”
“Oh I already know that, i already talked to the charge nurse and admitting and made that happen”
What?
“You made that happen?”
“Yes, im just trying to talk to the doctor for something else”
So I transfer him to the doctor and stare at my coworker bewildered bc…this dude is full of shit lmao Theres no way HE did it, this is not any random fast food joint where you can complain to the manager and get shit done your way. Everything is done in order, no amount of yelling or grovelling is gonna make anything go faster. Because its not that we dont FEEL like admitting people, its that we as an entire unit cannot FIT that many people.
So either 1) the patient left. Either AMA (against medical advice) or discharged. And discharge is more likely because if the patient that left was an elderly or bedconfined patient, then an ambulance couldve picked them up to bring them back to a nursing home or something similar
2) the patient in the room was downgraded to a hallway bed WHILE they were on the floor. Which is believable but AWFUL. Hallway beds are just stretchers in the hall, and you can get an Actual room when one opens up: all it does is allow you to be in a floor with a max of 30 people instead of a floor of up to 150+ people. So to get bumped down is terrible
Or 3) someone who had a hallway bed and was waiting for a regular bed got bumped and skipped in favor of this random dudes dad. Which is EQUALLY bad
But also, I really didnt know what this dude wanted. Because now that hes got the bed i would assume thats finished and he could just go to sleep or something. Once the bed is assigned and the last charting is complete, getting them upstairs is SUPER quick compared to everything else. About 20 mins max to pick up the patient and travel across the hospital to get them upstairs.
But hes apparently been bugging the doctors to complete their charts, harrassing the nurses to do the same; the entire 20 or so minutes i was ignoring him was to essentially get them to finish the chart. But like…??? They have other patients?? And they had to stop what they were doing to answer the calls. And even they stopped responding because they knew that if they heard their name over the loudspeaker, it was because of this dude.
So finally, at like 1:50, I pick up the line. And hes asking for the doctor. And i ask him WHY is he calling the doctor, because theyre not gonna pick up for him, and all i can do is page overhead.
And in the most fake, cali girl kind of voice (bc he DID have a cali girl voice only now it was clearly fake chill) “well, i WAS trying to get the doctor to pick up the phone but maybe you can help me instead.”
“Oh, I’ll definitely try my best.”
“So is there anyway I can get my dad upstairs a bit faster?”
And im like u fucking idiot, you fucking dick wasting all this time, all MY TIME “See you called at 1:30”
“Yes.”
“And i asked, i specifically asked 'was this about your dad? Because he has a bed right now’ and you dismissed me because you felt that the doctor could give you answers, not realizing that if you had just told me 'yes, its about my dad’ i wouldve told you that everything was set up and that we were waiting for transportation to bring them upstairs.”
“Well yes but-”
“So because you thought you were cutting out the middle man, you made me page these nurses and doctors overhead to get NOTHING done. When I couldve just answered you from the getgo.”
And im so irritated and HEATED bc this dude called for 30 minutes just to make his dad skip ahead of everyone else and there was NO way i was letting that happen.
“So is he just waiting for transportation to go upstairs?”
“Yes.”
“Is there anyway I can do that myself?”
“??? No?? Only the transporter can bring them upstairs.”
“Why?”
“???????because its their job????????? Thats what they do???? Bring patients from the ER to the floor.”
“So you mean to tell me that I have to wait? Wait like I had to wait for admitting to get off their asses and get my dad a bed?”
“Thats generally what happens when theres a line of people; you go in order”
So i tell him, “Do you work here? Because unless you are a transporter you are physically unable to bring him upstairs” and hes like “well i should be because no one else in this hospital is doing their job. How is it I managed to get my dad a bed in just three minutes?? How is it that if hes being transported from one department to another, why cant I just wheel him up in a wheelchair.” Im answering his stupid questions as simply as possible but hes just refusing to listen. Like why we need to have transporters transport patients (bc the ID is the only thing that unlocks the door, bc the transporters are the only ones with access to the whole building) or like why its going to take longer because we have limited transporters tonight.
And like..i need to leave…bc i just have no tolerance for people anymore. I cant do it, i get so livid, i wanted to break my phone and smash it into the wall. If this fucker was out on the block i wouldve been throwing fists; he WOULD be catching these fucking hands.
I cant remember word for word what he was saying because it was just him yelling and cursing at me about how this entire building is incompetent, how we told him to wait until his dad got a bed and if he had listened, if he hadnt INTERVENED, he would STILL be waiting, that if he was working there things would be going alot more smoother, shit would be getting done, how theres no reason the place should be understaffed because its the holiday weekend and we should be prepared for this (not realizing that the department literally understaffs us BECAUSE its the holiday weekend and the census is always lower than usual)
Just him assuming no one was doing their job, then complaining for almost TWO HOURS and then assuming that his complaining worked when in reality it was just completely coincidental; that if he really 'got a bed in three minutes’ i wouldve seen a bed appear at 12:40, not 1:30.
And they taking it out on the transporters as if they WANT to be understaffed and stuck transporting patients to 7 different locations across the entire building; patients who need to go to the floors, to sono, to CT, to MRI, and then required to be taken back. To be so understaffed that people delegated to cleaning have to stop and pitch in once in a while to help their coworkers. And he had the NERVE to try and skip past people who were patiently waiting, who were waiting longer than his dad had been waiting.
He asked to speak to the “Head of transportation ” and i wanted to laugh so hard, i could not stop myself from mocking him “oh the HEAD of transportation! Let me transfer you.” Straight to the fucking operator lmao kiss my ass have fun trying to find that person at exactly 2:03am on a monday morning and a HOLIDAY no less
The dad eventually went upstairs. He waited like everyone else in this ER and from this point on, if he wants to cause a scene, im sending the son Straight to the floor his dad is sleeping on so he can harass them because i am done™
#long post#SUPER LONG POST#personal#i rlly want to Die why are people so entitled and nasty#anyway whats up w yall lmao#did u know tumblr added in a text limit on mobile???#or at the very least#they made the limit shorter#bc i wrote a fic on mobile and was able to fit it here#but this entire rant doublespaced (by mistake) couldnt fit#so strange
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Awareness
So I’ve decided to make awareness a category on its own because I think I’ll need a number of posts just to do the concept justice. I think awareness at this point is the most important concept Ive learned regarding self-care and isn’t self-care at the start of literally everything you could want in life?
I think awarenes is the first step in change. I think awareness is the ultimate life hack - so good it cant be true yet it is. I think awareness is what makes change easy and in my experience change is one of the hardest things on earth.
Everyone wants to change things about themselves right? Everyone would like to be a little smarter, a little better at what they do, a little more influential, a little more social, reach their goals a little faster and, of course, lose a little weight/gain a little muscle.
So why dont we? because change is really fucking hard. Because we dont have the ‘determination’ to do it? Because we do not ‘want it bad enough?
Wrong!
Look, it makes sense right. Change is very valuable and should therefor also be very hard. Because isn’t that what valuable means? Hard to obtain? Scarce? Well not in this case. I would like to argue that change is valuable and therefor natural and maybe even easy. Because most things that are valuable are actually natural and easy.
When you find resistance, this does not mean that whatever you are trying to reach is valuable. However, if you are in the mindset that resistance = value then that lesson will actually prove itself. If you think studying is supposed to be hard and you procrastinate a lot and always finish your assignments minutes before the deadline and pull an all-nighter just to get a barely passing grade, you’ll think that pulling the overstressed all nighter is proof that studying is hard. Because if you hadnt done that, then you wouldnt have gotten a passing grade at all.
So change should be hard too. You want to lose weight and you have never been able to before, that means you need to push yourself harder. You should watch ‘motivational’ pictures of fit people and you want people to remind you to exercise and eat healthy etc etc.
But it could be easy. Not in the beginning, that is. The hard part of change for someone like you, for someone like me, is not the change but it’s our mindset. It’s how we see change. You’ll keep falling back to old mental patterns and because you’ve left them unattended for so long they’ll run pretty deep, but no worries because there is no deadline for this and humans are persistance predators after all.
And the route to easy change follows along awareness. So first you’ll have the awareness that you want to change something. Say you want to lose weight.
So instead of immediately restricting your diet or making aspirational fitness plans, just be aware of your desire for change. It’s important that this awareness is more or less neutral. That it comes from a place of soft curiosity. There is no practical reason for feeling bad about not having changed whatever you want to change so let all that guilt go. Like that former catholic nun in Eat, pray love says “Guilt is just your ego’s way of tricking you into thinking you’re making moral progress. Don’t fall for it my dear.”
Right, so soft curiosity. The next step is creating awareness around the steps that might make this change happen for you. Say your diet and your exercise routine. Be curious about your exercise habits. Be curious about your eating habits, when do you eat unhealthy food? How does that make you feel? When do you eat healthy food? How does that make you feel?
Now, if you’re still feeling guilty, then not-exercising and eating unhealthy food will make you feel guilty and exercising and eating healthy food will make you feel not-guilty, but you won’t derive any real pleasure from it either, because it is something that you ‘have to’ do. Like having to study for school when you actually like learning but because you’re forced you hate it or wanting to do the dishes but then being told to do the dishes by your mom and suddenly not wanting to do it at all anymore.
Point is, you’re not getting anywhere and you keep feeling a lot of guilt and what does that guilt make you want to do? Escape. How do you escape guilty feelings? A rush of serotonin, perhaps? induced by a certain glucose-fructoce concoction, perhaps? That’s right. Eating like shit will make you escape these bad feelings.
To generalize: the things you want to change about yourself, but have a hard time changing are often things that give us pleasure in the short-term (why else do them?), but hurt us in the long term (why else want to change them?), this is also the exact reason why they’re effective at making you not feel emotions, because of the short-term pleasure. But, Kim, can’t I just use some other coping mechanism that gives me both short-term and long-term pleasure? If only that existed.. (sidenote: this actually exists. I think this is what I was doing during my last relationship, turning to my boyfriend, which would make me feel better in the short term and long term, but everything festered and grew since I wasn’t dealing with it and when it suddenly exploded and I couldnt escape it with the use of my s.o. anymore and then it’s soo much harder to fix so dont go this road. Fix your shit. It’s economical.)
Okay we’re actually talking about another VERY important making-change-easy aspects which is that the change has to come from a good place (I’d like to take care of my body because my body is nice) vs a bad place (I want to lose weight because my body is ugly), but more about that later), but thats not what this post is about so lets move on with the awareness.
Right, so we’ve got the awareness without the guilt. And this is where the magic happens. Because change will happen almost automatically now. I’d like to note that this too is harder in the beginning because you’ve allowed (been unaware, I’m not blaming you sis) the bad patterns to wire tighter and tighter in your brain and changing these is so much harder then if you’d’ve dealt with them immediately, but since we’re not raised with this emotional awareness and emotional coping skills, we didnt know any different. Once you’ll have learned and applied this way of changing you’ll still want to change, because what is life without change? And then it’ll truly be easy. At least I think so, I’m only on this journey for a couple (4) of months now, but I’ve already noticed the differences.
Everytime you eat unhealthy, or skip an exercise, you’ll be aware that this is not something you really want, but much more importantly, every time you eat something healthy or do exercise, you’ll become aware that this is something you’ll want. You’ll start seeing these as ‘good’ things and they’ll give you a seretenonin rush. Now, the bad habits do not necessarily make you feel bad because you quit the guilt and you realise that real change doesn’t happen immediately so still continuing these bad habits during the change process is normal and inevitable. But the good habits now make you feel good. So when you get the choice between a healthy meal and an unhealthy meal you will a. not want to eat away your emotions, because there is no guilt and b. know that you will feel that nice happy feeling if you eat the healthy food, so you’ll choose the healthy option more often. ‘
Do note that you’ll have to address the underlying reasons for why you started this bad habit in the first place. If it’s simply laziness than this will work, but often we try to escape our big scary emotions with instant-gratification. So if you feel guilt surrounding other topics than the bad habit itself, that guilt will maintain the bad habits. In that case (which is usually the case) the bad habit is thus a symptom and not a problem per se. however, after having repeated the unwelcome behavior often enough for it to become a habit it will get a life of it’s own and become a problem.
So you’ll need to deal with it from both angles. Fixing the underlying issues won’t fix the symptoms anymore. Okay there’s three important parts of change then. 1. the problems that initialized the unwelcome behavior, 2. changing from a ‘good place’ and not a ‘bad place’ and 3. awareness.
Still I would put awareness at number one, since the other two require awareness. You often don’t know why you do things, especially the unwelcome behavior, so you’ll need to become aware of that. Then you’ll need to become aware of the fact that you’re doing all this from a bad place and how stupid that really is and then you’ll need awareness through the rest of the process.
All this awareness can be pretty exhausting so remember it’s okay to participate in the behavior you’d like to change. Because if you change through this way you’re gonna get there anyways, it’s just about how long it’ll take and since you’ve probably been struggling with this behaviour for a very long time (say years maybe? decades?) those few extra days or weeks won’t make a difference.
Also solving the underlying issues is really hard. Probably the hardest part. I’ll talk about that some other time.
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tagged by @crewmanjeeter!! sorry it took so long
1) Name/nickname: Angel
2) Gender: girl
3) Star sign: Aries!
4) Height: 5′2″
5) Hogwarts House: Hufflepuff!! I took the official quiz a couple times online and got hufflepuff all the time. I feel like it fits pretty well!
6) Favourite animal: foxes
7) Hours of sleep: well right now i would like like 12 but i normally get like 9
8) Dogs or cats: both!!!
9) Number of blankets: two sheets and one comforter
10) Dream trip: idk! i’d really like to go back to universal tho. I went w/ my famly and now my brother’s vowed to go back w just me and our partners so we can actually have a good time there
11) Dream job: I’d really like to be a writer or work for a cartoon tbh! I’m going into PR so if i do end up as part of a cartoon’s team it probably won’t be as a writer he he
12) Time: 4:05pm
13) Birthday: march 26
14) Favorite Bands: every bad ive heard except the bad ones
15) Favorite Solo Artists: idk, owl city?
16) Song Stuck In My Head: i’ve had like 3 mountain goat songs stuck in my head all day & they are this year, up to the wolves, and color in your cheeks
17) Last Movie I Watched: coraline, but I didnt finish it! i was watching it w/ my partner when we were baking for a club. before that we were watching newsies!
18) Last Show I Watched: jane the virgin
19) When Did I Create My Blog: like 5 years ago? its been too dang long
20) What Do I Post/Reblog: theres been a bit of digimon and the penumbra and also comics which is also probably everything ive hyper focused on this past year. (not tpp specifically, but podcasts as a whole)
21) Last Thing I Googled: color in your cheeks by the mountain goats bc it was stuck in my head and i wanted to hear it again
22) Other Blogs: every sideblog ive had is inactive bc i cant focus on two things at a time
23) Do I Get Asks: not super frequently, but every now and then! It’s always pretty fun
24) Why I Choose My URL: I had a bunch of urls that were thematically similar that i cannot remember at all and then i finally switched to this and was like yea its perfect and now its my brand so basically the answer is “aesthetic”
26) Followers: 1042
27) Lucky Number: 2
28) Favorite Instrument: i never wanna play another instrument but the harp sounds really nice
29) What Am I Wearing: flannel and cordoroys cuz im gay. also a purple undershit bc i like to have fun
30) Favorite Food: milanesa? i wouldnt say its my favorite thing ive ever eaten but its like, my favorite meal. luv that breaded chicken
31) Nationality: american
32) Favorite Song: my favorite song is almost always the song i heard last so yeah its color in your cheeks
33) Last Book Read: im currently reading posterchildren: origins and its reallllly good! But i have no idea what i read before that. the raven king? idk
34) Top Three Fictional Universes I’d Like To Join: hmmmmm. digimon bc its kinda like having friends with superpowers only u cant die, you can only get traumatized, the adventure zone balance bc its just lotsa fun goofs even if there was that one time the world almost got eaten by a poser named john aaaaand idk! dcu, but maybe like, from the 90s so i dont have to worry about n*zi plottwists
aaand im not tagging anyone bc i am le tire so do it if u want bc i am interested in all of ur lives
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So I just finished s01 of Shadowhunters and I have some thinky thoughts about it. I’m putting it under the cut because it’s not all positive (well, most of it isnt really) and if you are a die-hard malec shipper, you should probably skip this.
Overall, I think my opinion so far can be summed up as this show has a lot of potential to be really good and interesting and nobody seems to want to do anything about it. I mean the set up is great - demons threatening the world? Awesome. A secret society of warriors whose purpose is to protect the world? Nice. Magic? Warlocks? AU worlds? Perfect. Class issues between the races? Homophobia? Relevant and important concepts to tackle. So in theory everything is great. But in practice? Not so much.
I think the two main issues this season has are 1) thngs happening way too fast and not enough time and focus given to certain topics and characters in order to understand their motivations and the worldbuilding of this universe and 2) the problem with show, dont tell - that is to say we keep being told things but almost never shown anything to actually back up these claims.
Now I know there are time limits and you cant fit everything into a single episode or even a single season and you shouldnt have to. I’m not saying they should have crammed everything into 13 episodes. That is not the issue. The problem is that when topics that should be given due focus and time within the specific episode arent, things get confusing. For example, why did Alec decide to marry Lydia? We find out in the next episode that he’s decided to restore the family honor on his own terms after finding out about his parents’ past. Which is great. We have Alec’s motivation. But in the episode itself where he proposed everything was set up for him to follow his heart. That was the theme of the episode and Alec through the entire thing kept agreeing with Magnus and whoever else was telling him to do what he wants. Only for him to turn around simingly out of nowhere in the literal last minute of the episode and decide to get married. Dont get me wrong, I dont have a problem with him NOT choosing to follow his heart given the situation but there wasnt enough focus on his struggle between the two during the episode in order to make his last-minute turn seem less weird. And that doesnt even cover Lydia’s side of thngs. Why did she decide to get married to a literal stranger after meeting him like yesterday? And this is not an exxageration - Alec proposes literally 2 or 3 days max after Lydia shows up. Is she that desperate to run an institute? Wouldnt she be allowed to have the position if she’s not married? Why does it even matter - doesnt it make more sense to give her the position based on her skills and results on the job? We dont know. But these are the sort of worldbuilding questions you might want to answer.
This is just one example of how things are going way too fast and there’s not enough time given to explain the characters and universe properly. There are more but if I keep going, we’ll be here tomorrow too. I’m not even gonna bother to cover all the scenes that just flat out do not make sense cause then we’ll never leave.
The other thing bothers me even more - there are sooo many things we are TOLD but never really SHOWN - Alec has been in love with Jace for I dont know how many years, Alec is repressed, the SH society is homophobic (admittedly we are not told this in canon, I dont believe? but that is at least the implication made), Magnus is in love with Alec and Alec feels the same, Magnus is a centuries-old warlock, one of the most powerful people in the world, Ragnor is even more powerful, etc etc. But. Where is the evidence? If Alec has spent so long being in love with Jace and repressed, wouldnt it have been more difficult for Magnus to get him to agree to a date than one half-assed phone call? Wouldnt Alec be struggling even more with accepting that Magnus is interested and panicking about what to do, denying everything with all his might? Shouldnt there be more struggle here?
So far I havent seen any signs of anyone in the Institute being homophobic. Maybe that changes in s02 but so far? Nope. Even Alec’s parents whom fandom for some reason has decided to demonize as some kind of terrible scumbags are not homophobic and actually hella decent people all things considered. Lydia is not homophobic. The goddamn Silent Brother seemed more interested in the kissing scene than anything else.
Warlocks are supposed to be hella powerful yet Magnus needed Alec’s help to fight off ONE circle member and Ragnor got killed by a TINY demon thingy that even Clary can handle. We were told Magnus cares so much about that necklace he’d risk his life to get it back yet 5mins later just casually gives it away to Izzy and doesnt mention it again.
Clary and co LOVE to make these passionate speeches about how they’re the new generation of shadowhunters who respect the downworlders and believe everyone is their equal and the Clave is wrong - yet the moment a downworlder refuses to help them, they have no problem blackmailing, focing, lying and going behind their back to get what they want. And this is admittedly not a bad thing to show that these people despite their good intentions cant just change over night, if the narrative at least acknowledged their hypocrisy as a sign they need to grow some more but it doesnt.
Again, I an keep going but I wont. And finally there’s Malec. By all accounts I think this is the thng that disaapointed me the most. It could have been so awesome if developed properly! Like again we have a great set up - two people from opposite sides of the war, leaders to their respective groups, meeting and falling in love against all odds - it’s basically every enemies to friends to lovers fic ever and it’s AWESOME. Except not really because the way they play it in canon is just what even? So they meet and Magnus is obviously sexually attracted to Alec and wants to pursue that. Cool. Alec is... feeling whatever it is he’s feeling, I honestly cant even tell if he was interested from the start or just happy someone was paying attention to him. I suppose that stuttering scene when Magnus introduces himself is supposed to show he’s interested. Or something. Then Magnus calls to ask him on a date which yay, makes sense with how eager he was when they met. And then Alec agrees. And this is where things start going wonky for me. Why does he agree so easily? Isnt he supposed to be in love with Jace? Isnt he supposed to be terrified of anyone finding out he’s gay? Next scene after they heal Luke, Magnus goes you’ve unlocked something in me and I go was it your dick? Because this line for all its romantic vibe and whatnot in the context we’ve been presented so far makes no sense. Because now the show wants me to believe that Magnus fell in love at first sight. Except this is not how they played it - what I saw was Magnus being really fricking horny. I did not see any grand revelations of omg, I just fell in love for the first time in over a century with this hot piece of shadowhunting ass I just met. Now I’m supposed to believe Malec has had enough development and enough scenes together to warrant such a strong emotional reaction from Magnus two episode after meeting Alec and after like 2? 3? scenes interacting with him. Insert the sure jan gif here.
Fast forward to the wedding - awesome scene really. Kiss and all (such a hot kiss and I ask why arent they kissing like that in s02 instead of these we’ve been married for 50years and cant wait for one of us to die already pecks?). But again, it only works if you ignore the context and take it as a stand alone scene. Because otherwise the emotional depth that it’s supposed to have? Goes out the window to stand besides all the emotional and mental development that was needed between them in order to make the scene really work and resonate on a deep level. And dont even get me started on how wrong Magnus acted at the beginning of the episode.
I can buy - at a push, a big big BIG push - that Magnus fell in love from the start but I absolutely do not believe Alec did as well. Honestly, I dont believe he loves Magnus even now in s02 (I havent watched it yet but I have enough context about some of their key scenes to say this, there is no way I man in love would tell his boyfriend not to take a treath to his life PERSONALLY, amongst other things). And that is just sad. Because this could have been a great love story, all the fire and passion and fireworkd like we keep getting told there is but what we see is something different.
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