#i have drawn him the least but trust me he is my fav | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

evelhak · 7 months

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Hey! So we talked about Kuroko and Haizaki, and now I’m curious in your vision of other Kuroko interactions.

Not shipwise, since I know you only do kagakuro, but in terms of dynamics, what are your fav characters to write Kuroko with?

Lets say, top 3 GoM and top 3 non-Gom?

Oh my friend how you're letting me go nuts again.

May I suggest you get a cup of your favourite drink and maybe some snacks?

Also how do you expect me to choose...? Hmm okay, to make things slightly easier for myself I'll exclude Kagami of course since I've been talking about them a lot already and I also believe I've talked about Momoi at length at least twice in relation to Kuroko so I'll define GOM in the strictest sense for this, but I also won't count either of them as non-GOM haha. I hope that makes sense.

Okay, not surprisingly, I'm going to start with Aomine. I love writing him with Kuroko particularly because when he's at his worst they are absolute poison to each other and they don't really even know it for lot of the time or at least understand why, and that makes for peak relationships drama. (It's complex and I love it.) They have a particular way of feeding each other's weaknesses. When Aomine is stressed out, average Kuroko's communication style and philosophy actually makes him worse in the long run. Also Aomine at his worst makes Kuroko worse. This is because Kuroko's weaknesses at his most stressed resemble some of average Aomine's weaknesses (anxious, lonely and pessimistic) while average Kuroko's optimism and understanding actually give Aomine more room to spiral down because what he's subconsciously looking for is pushback and someone he can trust to practically force him to get it together and average Kuroko is always going to be too accepting for that. However. Here's the cool part. Aomine at his best has some of the strengths of average Kuroko (loyal, secure, taking care of others) which is why when he's getting better he's drawn to Kuroko's typical idealism and particularly when Kuroko is getting worse, Aomine actually steps up, and can empathise with Kuroko at his weakest because while it's a rock bottom for Kuroko it's all actually pretty mundane to Aomine and he can stay quite level-headed about it. Meanwhile Kuroko at his best can direct the same qualities productively as Aomine at his worst does destructively (confidence, independence, stubbornness), and that's why at his best Kuroko appears like he has got the answers Aomine has been looking for after all, because Aomine is actually looking for trust but he needs hard proof for it unlike Kuroko who at his average is just able to trust that things will turn out alright for no particular reason. This is in a nutshell why I love writing the larger scale of their dynamic. It just makes for such interesting plot twists.

Also it's so God damn funny sometimes. Like, I was writing a scene where Kuroko is pretty significantly sick and Aomine is pretty significantly enlightened and although it was a rather serious scene in my story, I just happened to come across a song from some musical that illustrates the inherent comedy of their practically reversed dynamic a 100%.

For contrast here's bit from Kuroko's POV when he had to take care of drunk Aomine:

I just find them hilarious to write and they bring me so much joy.

Then, I suppose the next one will have to be Kise. I just love how they poke at each other's insecurities and how incompatible their communication styles are. You're probably seeing a theme here? I just love it when characters' personalities collide in a way that causes a lot of friction and ultimately provides opportunities for growth, so long as both are eventually willing to go out of their comfort zone. Of course it's only so satisfying because there's so much they can help each other learn, which is true here as well. Kise and Kuroko can both be particularly annoying to each other, because Kise has this habit of putting the burden of interpretation of how serious he is on the other person and that really doesn't work with Kuroko so he's often particularly dismissive of Kise. And while Kise seems like he's bothered by it I think he actually finds it reassuring because it means that with Kuroko he can be as goofy, flirty, needy and attention-seeking as he pleases with zero consequences because Kuroko just deflects it. Obviously Kise actually doesn't want the kind of attention from his friends that he gets from elsewhere, so at his core he doesn't actually feel rejected by Kuroko, he feels quite secure. Meanwhile, I think Kuroko secretly likes the attention he's getting from Kise, because everyone needs some attention. Kise is getting too much so he finds Kuroko relaxing and Kuroko is getting too little so he finds Kise refreshing. And annoying. Because Kuroko actually craves direct and genuine interaction the most, and that's why Kise's way of avoiding it can get really tiresome for him, meanwhile Kise becomes instantly self-conscious and evasive when Kuroko attempts to get some unambiguously genuine expression of feelings out of him (unless they're on the basketball court of course where it's suddenly okay to let things go to your feels). So, as I want to develop their communication I end up writing stuff where Kuroko is quite fed up with their shallow interactions and attempts to get more under Kise's skin, which of course is way too much emotional work for Kise. But it slowly gets better, of course.

A lot of their interactions for me are also based on how Kuroko needs more of Kise's easy breezy "do things for the heck of it and don't think about the deeper meaning" attitude while Kise obviously needs the exact opposite and Kuroko is a great person to make him think about what things he's just doing because it's easy and provides instant gratification, and which things he would actually find meaningful in the long run. Kise has opportunities to make Kuroko less serious and Kuroko has opportunities to make Kise more so. I think Kuroko very much dislikes any shallow or vain feelings that he has and rejects them, but Kise can help him be more comfortable with that part of humanity, while Kise is scared of his deeper feelings, and Kuroko can help him with that instead. So both can find that the feelings they dislike in themselves or make them anxious still have their place and it's better to get acquainted with them.

It takes quite some time for them to get to a point they can understand this because it's obviously not fun trying to consciously work on your insecurities, but when they get there it's really satisfying.

Now I kind of feel like showing this development. So, here are three scene's from Kuroko's POV. Although two of them are with Kagami, but they are talking about Kise.

First one is a conversation on the phone.

About ten chapters later with Kise:

And then about 20 chapters later:

I just wanted to show you because writing this kind of development makes me so excited. (The sport they're talking about is quidditch/quadball.)

The third place is a really tough one because I enjoy writing Kuroko's interactions with every GOM and I think the reason I'm going to have to pick Midorima is actually not because I inherently prefer him, it's because his interactions with Kuroko naturally happen more because he lives closer than Akashi and Murasakibara. But this is how it is because the more I write interactions with characters the more I begin to like them. Kuroko and Midorima are a blast because of their completely opposing conceptualisations of the world. The funny thing is that they might not actually be as opposing as they seem, it's just that they are looking at the same thing from different angles and describing it in language that leads them to believe they disagree more than they do. Yes they also have completely different strategies to getting where they want but maybe it's not as stark as they sometimes seem to believe. This is where the most friction in their relationship comes from and I have done my absolute best to be fair about it, because I am so much more likely to see things in Kuroko's way and I despise horoscopes. So I think another reason I like to write these two so much is that it challenges my objectivity in a particular way.

Anyway, basically Midorima describes fate as something that is above humans while Kuroko basically says you can make your own fate, if you really simplify it.

But. I have these song lyrics in my mind...

"You can plan a pretty picnic, you can pick the perfect time, but you can't expect the weather to be fine".

That thought is still true for both of them. They would both agree to that from their different perspectives. So their views are not actually complete opposites. Just their reactions and how they deal with it, are.

As funny as it sounds, Midorima is actually uncomfortable with the 'supernatural' or abstract unseen realm of things, and that's why he's looking at sources outside of himself to control his thoughts about that which is uncertain. Meanwhile Kuroko can just casually be like "hey what if a meteorite hit the bench" and "cool let's go look for ghosts I've never actually seen one" because he doesn't fear the uncertainty. He is the uncertainty. For Midorima that is his pressure point. Kuroko gets strength from the thought that anything can happen because he feels familiar with and in control of the uncertain, so he believes he can work it to his advantage. For Midorima the idea that anything can happen is daunting because it feels like it pulls the rug from under him and his hard work. He just genuinely doesn't understand that realm of things, much like Kuroko just genuinely doesn't understand cold hard facts and numbers. And that's why they have trouble understanding each other, because they are always approaching things so differently even when they desire the same conclusion.

Anyway. I wanted to do something with Midorima that I felt canon didn't really do. I wanted his way of thinking to get Kuroko off guard and even question his view of reality a little. I wanted Midorima to be able to foresee something about Kuroko because of his strange relationship with fate and I wanted Kuroko to dismiss it because he thinks his way of thinking is above Midorima's. And ultimately Kuroko would be wrong. I thought this would bring more depth to their relationship.

I'm going to show you one key scene in that plot to illustrate some of the tensions in their interactions. This is Kuroko's POV and they are at Suutoku's cultural festival where Midorima is doing fortune-telling from tea leafs.

Alright, that's it for the GOM. I wonder if there's a limit with post length...

Then the others.

Well, there's Ogiwara. And he was not so discussed in depth in canon that I have definitely developed some of his personality on my own. He was obviously contrasted with Kagami and Aomine a lot and explicitly said to have some similarities but the way I see him, he is also similar to Momoi and Kiyoshi in a particular and pretty defining aspect, and that is that he can control the emotional atmosphere of the room. So, while Aomine and Kagami have a lot of physical presence, Ogiwara and these other two characters have a lot of social presence. But the way I see it Ogiwara is also the least manipulative of these examples, pretty chill in the way that he has less of an objective, like it's rarer for him to try to manipulate things to a particular end although he generally could if he wanted to. And I think that's because he mostly just wants everyone to be happy and to have a good time, which aligns well with Kuroko's instincts, so it's no wonder if their friendship was a pretty uncomplicated one before shit hit the fan.

There's actually very little conflict between them in canon that has anything to do with them as individuals. However that's also what makes the relationship kind of stagnant and less interesting because when there's no outside force, then there's nothing about them as people that makes them push each other enough to create the level of conflict and opportunity for growth as there is with some other characters. In some ways that's refreshing, but only as a breath of fresh air. Basically in a story it just makes for nice filler. There isn't enough meat to write for an extended period of time.

That's why, if I wanted to keep Ogiwara in the story in any meaningful way, I had to make something up, and I do enjoy what I came up with. A lot. One key aspect is miscommunication that is due to the fact that although Ogiwara is socially very smooth he doesn't quite understand that Kuroko is actually significantly less so, probably because Kuroko still has emotional intelligence and the ability to match a more a dominant personality (I mean this in a broad sense, not like dominating or something) in a way that makes interaction feel smooth, because the other person is the leading force whether they mean to be or not because Kuroko can pretty much just make it so. (Like in Kagami's case it's more like Kuroko is redirecting a lot of Kagami's emotions so he's not actually dominating it's more like he's Kuroko's 'material' unlike Ogiwara who actually means to lead the interaction.) So, Ogiwara has a habit of implying things, hinting at things, speaking with gestures and believing that Kuroko understands what he's saying, but actually the implications go completely over Kuroko's head. For example, their whole promise: Kuroko didn't understand that more than anything, for Ogiwara it was about staying in touch. Of course facing each other in a game was important and exciting in and of itself, but Kuroko took that way more literally than Ogiwara meant it, and became so single-minded about this one thing he thought his friend wanted from him, that he actually kind of forgot about talking, which led Ogiwara to misinterpreted it as Kuroko not missing their everyday interaction as much as he does. Because Ogiwara thought the implication of their promise was totally clear, while to Kuroko it wasn't. It takes kind of a lot to start seeing why things that are totally clear to one aren't so for another, so they repeat this miscommunication several times and it stretches out into the future so much that it turns out Kuroko's view of their childhood is in some significant ways different from Ogiwara's view of the same events.

Writing more of them together I also found that Ogiwara sees Kuroko in a quite different way from most people and can sometimes say stuff that other people probably wouldn't say:

I'm not saying he's right or wrong, and out of context it may seem like he's undermining the fact that Kuroko didn't have much options, but it's more complicated than that, just too much to explain here. I just put this here because it's interesting contrast to write someone with a little bit different perspective to some things, because his key points with Kuroko have been so different from that of the other characters in the canon timeline which Ogiwara was mostly absent for.

A character whose interactions with Kuroko I actually write way less than I would like is Furihata. Because they have similar temperaments in ways pretty much no other characters do, and I feel they would make the kind of friends who are perfect for peer support and venting to, if either of them could just be a little more proactive about it, but that's the difficulty with a similar temperament, isn't it? It's not just my fault, it's not just that the story is already so bloated from these other relationships, it's that both of them are also going to respect each other's space too much and are generally the type to just sort of let things in relationships develop in their own time. Obviously they both have a lot of drive to make things happen when they need to, but when they don't need to, they are both the type to be more likely to just sit back and watch things develop. So circumstances would need to force them closer to get closer. So far such circumstances happen here and there but not that much. Most often it's Furihata needing emotional support and Kuroko being there, because he has already gone through the same thing. This happens several times in my writing. It takes a while for things to turn the other way around because Furihata is more likely to seek comfort from someone, and Kuroko is more reserved in that way, but once Furihata grows aware of their similarities and differences he also makes more effort to make sure Kuroko knows he can be relied upon too, which fits quite well with Furihata's growth into a captain which is part of my headcanon too.

This is probably his sharpest moment so far, after Seirin's darkest moment in my story. (Kagami's POV)

Then there's Yagi who practically counts as an OC because I've invented like 90% of his personality but I love him so I'm going to talk about him. Yagi is sort of like if Aomine and Furihata fused in some ways. His insecurities come from lack of experience and skills but he reacts to them in a similar way as Aomine to his overwhelming skills, feeling like he's alone and no one can possibly help him. He's more even-tempered and timid, but his negativity comes through in a passive-agressive way and he basically needs someone to kick his butt at all times and he punishes people emotionally if they don't. You can imagine this creates some very intense conflict with Kuroko whose gentle approach to helping Yagi integrate into the team just... doesn't work AT ALL because he's an even harder person for Kuroko to be tough on than Aomine. Kuroko can kick butt when it's Kagami or another openly aggressive person as long as they are not being vulnerable. But Yagi is like... Nope. Nothing is getting through because he wants someone to boss him around but you're supposed to figure that out on your own and Kuroko wants someone who will tell him what they need from him. Match made in heaven right. Well, still it's not hopeless once Kuroko does figure out which string to pull (with the help of Aomine haha). But yeah, it's a minefield. (Not to mention Yagi also starts out as homophobic.) But they do develop when Kuroko realises that he needs something new to help him stay out of sight and Yagi is exactly that because he's radiating negative, passive energy as much as Kagami is radiating positive, active energy so when Kuroko uses both of them he has a double cover as the neutral point between these two energies. But what makes this difficult for Kuroko to figure out is that while Kuroko is technically using Kagami to hide himself he's not using Kagami in a sense that he would need to control him. Kagami is doing what Kagami wants, and Kuroko is using that which Kagami would be doing anyway. But Yagi isn't going to do anything unless someone makes him. It is when Kuroko realizes that Yagi is actually begging to be used, that the game changes. Despite of appearing otherwise Yagi has basically zero ego. He just wants to be useful but he wants other people to tell him how. (Akashi should have used someone like Yagi not Mayu lol.) This was difficult for Kuroko to get, because despite of being as team-oriented as he is, being a shadow was still always a sacrifice for him. Had he been able to he would have wanted to be more "normal". And he still does have enough ego to want to create something for himself and be in control even if it's in a less traditional more subtle way, and he mistakenly believed Yagi would want the same. But Yagi doesn't have that kind of desire. Kuroko is willing to sacrifice himself. Yagi enjoys it. Yagi is a "soldier". Well, in this case, Kuroko is the trickster and Yagi is the rabbit= the star of the magic show who isn't actually doing anything but who things are being done to.

Or...? (Kuroko's POV)

I just love to play with metaphors.

I don't have the best action writing skills to get the most exciting games out of this idea (and a lot of it is probably so out there that it wouldn't even work) but I am actually very proud of how it plays in the interpersonal and metaphorical realm of the story.

Okay. That's it for now. Looks like I didn't run out of space. I hope I managed to keep you interested.

#knb #knb fic #TOTverse spoilers

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lovecanbesostrange · 1 year

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Finally saw Ant-Man & the Wasp: Quantumania last night and now clicking through the general reviews... well... I do get the overall “why is everything CG in blockbusters, especially Marvel”. Oh, I want more shots on set and more practical effects. But this film is set in the quantum realm. Yes, it did not have to look so Star Wars-y (somebody better put the Mos Eisley Cantina music over that bar scene), but of all the things to bemoan that isn’t such a big deal in this film particularly?!

One reason the second Ant-Man is one of my absolute fav MCU films is the fact it’s not about saving the entire planet. Kinda low stakes and all, very character focused. And in lots of ways Quantumania (sadly) is the opposite of that. But also Kang is among my least cared about villains, I loathe so many times I would read Avengers and boom who shows up... ugh. Do. Not. Care. I already feared Kang would come after Thanos before Phase 2 was over. And here we are. But I think this version, for this movieverse, could overall be very entertaining. So hooray for that. It absolutely IS weird to set him up within an Ant-Man movie though. Then again breaking formula in a way?? Everybody else on these soulcrushing rides, adventures about personal grief and changes, but Scott Lang and family end up with this big threat looming. Hmm, okay.

I am upset that we didn’t get to see any of the non-suit-wearing characters we love. I especially don’t get why Maggie wasn’t at the fake birthday party in the end. I get why Luis isn’t in the big story, but a quick shot in the beginning - just like with Jimmy - would have been nice. I don’t think this film tells us that Scott doesn’t care about them and is only here for the Pym-van-Dyne family, but it’s a bit sad to get NOTHING.

What I wanted most of all was seeing Michelle Pfeiffer kick some ass. Expectation met. Thank you. I think Hope was a bit pushed too far back, but the way she comes back for Scott (always), is nice. I can get behind their relationship, their love, their commitment to each other 100%. Also Hank and Janet? Amazing. She kept so much for herself, but is he mad? Do they have to have long drawn out fights for D~rama?? Nope. Some irritation and frustration, sure, that’s more than allowed. But in the end there is only trust and love and unquestionable support. Also please, Hank is there to show some love for ants and that’s wonderful. Really glad his ant farm got sucked in. XD

Also watching this, my one wish is now stronger than ever. Seeing the absolute ridiculous M.O.D.O.K. (and I am not sorry they evolved this from Yellowjacket), I neeeeeeeeeeeeeee~d an X-Men film set in MojoWorld. So much. Ridiculous, over the top, non-sensical absurdity, that has zero consequences when the end credits roll. PLEASE! I need that.

Is this a cinematic masterpiece? lol no, why would I expect that from an MCU movie (so far down the line)? This is about characters I already love and adore (Scott Lang is the best), who end up in unfortunate circumstances and pew-pew their way out of it. For deeper feelings I watch other stuff. (While I’d still change things, I feel like the writers understand Ant-Man & Co better than whatever is happening with Thor. I think the tonal inconsistency of Love & Thunder drags that film down for me and Quantumania felt pretty solid in that regard.)

#ramblings

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neon-draws-sometimes · 1 year

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I posted 3,463 times in 2022

That's 3,463 more posts than 2021!

117 posts created (3%)

3,346 posts reblogged (97%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@vvirokuns

@thirdymeowy

@tenpixelsusie

@ivyloveheart

@2-point-5

I tagged 1,048 of my posts in 2022

#fav - 241 posts

#undertale - 103 posts

#utmv - 52 posts

#unreality - 49 posts

#my art - 46 posts

#gif - 35 posts

#goncharov - 32 posts

#fresh parasite - 23 posts

#pokemon - 20 posts

#ask to tag - 17 posts

Longest Tag: 135 characters

#plays undertale -> keeps getting those comic dubs recommended -> most of the original comics and are on tumblr (.i prefer to read them

My Top Posts in 2022:

I love underswap so much but the way the fandom treats it drives me insane. Is it so hard to not infantilize one person FOR FIVE MINUTES??

14 notes - Posted November 26, 2022

rad end polar express au

14 notes - Posted December 2, 2022

I’m gonna attempt to needle-felt Fresh wish me luck

15 notes - Posted November 25, 2022

THE BOY IS DONE

lots more pictures under cut

See the full post

18 notes - Posted November 25, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Headcanonz for fresh and his host !!

Depending on who the host is, and many other factors like energy, time Fresh spends in the host, and genetics can cause the hosts to have wildly different experiences

some are “asleep” mostly the whole time

some stay awake and watch what fresh does. Usually when this happens they wint be able to resist insulting him

Fresh doesn’t sleep often because when he does, he joins the host in their dreams and this scares him a bit. In their head, m both sides are on equal ground, and even though fresh knows it’s just a dream, it always feels super real to him.

Fresh also hates dreams because his subconscious can reveal his weaknesses, like fear of dying. He’s so scared og the host seeing them with any weakness

fresh hates being in parasite form for obvious reasons like being hungry and small and not being able to talk, but he also hates the lack of independence. Even if it had a friend they trusted to guard him, it would hate asking for help with stuff they couldn’t do for fear of judgement, at least at first. Maybe they’d feel safe someday though.

Fresh has six senses. The sixth is being able to perceive souls. If he’s hungry and there’s an available host it will be almost impossible to resist. Even if they’re his friend.

Human souls are very dangerous to Fresh because the power of them makes them even more irresistible than monster souls. even if he is currently sated, he will go after exposed ones like the ones hanging in errors Antivoid if he is outside of a host. they can also cause physical changes (like with monsters whoever absorbed souls) and become absorbed by fresh quite easily, which is not an ideal situation for fresh. if fresh possessed a living human it wouldn’t absorb the soul, only if they were exposed to the soul itself and the human was dead.

on a lighter note, Fresh has alwyas enjoyed stuff like furbies. he’s always found himself drawn to colorful things, 80s to 90s fashion, and the other things he surrounds himself with. They always lied to themselves and said that it was to make them appear friendlier, but they genuinely enjoyed this stuff, even before they felt.

And tahts it :)

29 notes - Posted November 23, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review

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todourouki · 4 years

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REQUEST Any chance you’d please write a Bakugou x reader where they are in a secret relationship and he needs to vent but she’s having a shower so he walks THROUGH THE GIRLS BATHROOM and all the girls follow him like wtf is he doing, and they just watch as he just starts having a conversation with the reader, hands her her towel, her face stuff, just helping her get ready while absolutely ranting about complete bullshit and to calm him she just kissed him and they are like 🤭 (last years, of age ofc)

Title: Definitely What It Looks Like

Pairing: Katsuki Bakugou x Reader

Word Count: 1.2k

Warnings: Explicit Language

Not even Mina, an avid member of the Bakusquad, suspected that Bakugou of all people would follow you around like a lost-puppy and a clear pout drawn on his skin. Not during their first year at UA, and definitely not now in their third.

Yet somehow, the pink girl, Asui, Hagakure, Uraraka, Jirou, and Momo found themselves crammed in utter silence and confusion into the small bathroom entrance before the showers where a pouty Bakugou stood with you while you showered.

Sure, Mina always suspected there was some form of secret friendship going on between the two of you. Yet the minute she watched the blond boy shuffle into the girls bathroom was a sight she couldn’t just ignore. Thus resulting in her gathering all the other girls and listening in on the conversation in nothing but shock.

“You just don’t fucking understand, you always want to play little miss princess.” Bakugou growled, crossing his arms across his chest and leaning against the tiled wall.

He couldn’t see your expression due to your frame being hidden behind the shower curtain, but he could practically feel the smirk plastered across your face as you scoffed at his words.

“Katsu, just admit it— pass me my conditioner please— you actually enjoy being around him. It’s okay.” You joked, reaching a wet arm out as he shoved the container into your hands.

The girls all watched in shock, staring at each other before going back to the scene in shock. Katsu? His first-name, and at that, a nickname? For Bakugou? Who was willingly doing what you asked him to do?

“Yeah but that’s not the fucking point— do you want me to pass you the body wash too?” He froze, waiting for your response as he reached down into your shower caddie and held the bottle in his right hand as he tossed it up and down into the air.

“No not yet baby, continue.”

Watching Bakugou place the body soap bottle down, Mina’s eyes almost popped out the socket. “Baby?!” Hagakure whispered in disbelief.

None of the girls could believe their ears, not even their own eyes could be trusted. This was something they had never expected, not even from a Tsundere like Bakugou. The man who had a problem obeying orders from anyone but himself was allowing a girl to call him out his name twice and do favors for you? It just never ended.

“Half and half bastard thinks he can call me his friend for three years! Always hanging out with me and always trying to make me fucking laugh. He takes me as a joke Y/N, I know it. I know Deku and him fucking talk about me.” He continued to ramble, allowing you to slip in a few sounds to signify you were listening.

“Fucking Icy-Hot just pisses me off because it’s like, who the fuck do you think you are being my friend now—”

“Ah, so he is a friend?” You questioned, a teasing tone playing at your lips as Bakugou began fuming at the thought of the idea.

“What?! No fucking way!” He yelled, a crack erupting from his left hand that was free of any hair washing bottle. The sound caused you to poke your head out of the curtain, face smitten in disbelief and antagonization.

“Look me in my eyes and tell me you don’t think he’s at least some type of friend to you, Katsuki.”

Your words rang through the room, the girls watching as Bakugou’s ears became a hazy red color. He sucked his teeth, glaring at your face with nothing but defeat written in his eyes. It wasn’t like he wanted to admit defeat, but it also wasn’t like he wanted to admit the boy was his friend and that was clear.

Yet watching your smirking face drop with water and your head stick wetly to the back of your scalp, he couldn’t help but obey your orders of responding to your statement.

“Tch, I cant lie if you have that stupid fucking face on.” He muttered with fake anger, turning his eyes away from yours and beginning to read the English words he couldn’t completely understand stuck into the pink bottle.

Your eyes never left his though, adoration written in your eyes as you watched your boyfriend (unbeknownst to the group of girls spying in on the interaction at the time) try to act as if he wasn’t actually fond of having another friend around.

“If my face is so stupid, why does it seem to me as if you want to kiss it?” You teased.

Without being able to stop it, a squeal left Mina’s lips and her eyes widened in utter shock. Following her squeal as well as the round of gasps from the other girls, Bakugou’s head snapped towards the door with his eyes in slits.

If he found out they were spying on him, especially during a moment so intimate for him, they would all be done for. With a hand on one another’s face, all the girls pressed their pajama covered bodies against the bathroom wall and tried to silence their own breathing.

“Who’s there?!” Bakugou yelled, his quirk activating aggressively as he placed the bottle on his hand on the ground and keeping his guard up.

The girls each clasped their hands across their face, Hagakure peeking her head over the edge of the doorway to see if he was on his way down. Instead, Bakugou was still next to your shower stall, eyes glancing around the room feverishly as if nervous they could get caught in any moment.

Technically, you were both already caught but whatever.

Hagakure gave the signal (tapping Yaoyorozu on her shoulder and creating a chain) to signal to the other girls that the coast was clear to look.

When their eyes reached the corner though, they watched as you slipped your head through the curtains and gave the angry boy pouty lips. “Gimme kiss, my big, strong, angry man.”

Your teasing words weren’t the only shock, because the way Bakugou rolled his eyes and smirked into your face as he pulled your lips onto his was what really took the cake for the girls. They couldn’t even utter a single sound, watching as the two of you locked lips and released as if it was nothing.

The only sound filling the room was the small muttering from the whisper you said to him, turning your head back between the curtains and continuing to wash the soap off your body. Bakugou’s face wasn’t visible to the girls since he faced the opposite direction, but the chuckle he slipped out made the hairs on their arms stand up.

“I hope you and your little fucking friends are done spying on my girlfriend and I, Raccoon-Eyes,” his voice announced, making Mina and the other girls’s eyes widen in disbelief, fear, and embarrassment, “because you have three seconds to get the fuck out or I’m blasting you all you hell.”

The threat didn’t fall on loose ears, and the girls found themselves scuffling out the bathroom the minute he finished his words. Bakugou didn’t follow them though, only smirking as he gripped the towel he planned on passing to you the minute you shut the water off.

Mina, on the other hand, clenched her chest as she ran over to the elevator with Momo and Jirou since all the girls split up the moment they ran. The image of the kiss and the conversation passed through her mind, a wide and proud smile covering her naturally pink face.

I can’t wait to tell Kaminari he owes me $20 for thinking he can get a girlfriend before Bakugou does.

—

I hope this was okay, anon! Btw this has got to be one of my fav requests LMAO it was mad cute to write. Thank youuu <3 | heilly <3

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writefasttalkevenfaster · 4 years

Text

Aaron Hotchner / Tell Me to Stop

Request: "The heater broke and I’m freezing get over here" + "The Classic™: The hotel only has a king sized bed, I guess we’re sharing."

Word Count: 5,188

Warnings: Fluff, angst, some violence (its criminal minds, what do you expect), me having way too much fun with one of my fav tropes

“Sorry you got stuck with the short end of the stick,” Hotch intones, the two of you carrying your go-bags into the small motel you were now stranded in. The team had flown down to this small town in the middle of nowhere – with one hotel in the nearby vicinity. Unfortunately, being the only hotel did not mean superior technology - they had double booked two rooms. Which meant, two members had to be put up at a nearby motel – and lucky you, you both had drawn the short straws.

“Short end?” you smile up at Hotch, who looks as unruffled as ever, “Did you see the first hotel?” He snorts in reply, “Pretty sure I saw fifteen health code violations walking past the threshold.”

“And this is any better?” you shrug, looking around – it was a small motel: rundown, not well lit (you wondered if that for the more discreet clientele or because they couldn’t be bothered to change the lightbulbs out), and even the bell Hotch dinged at the counter was all but rusted over completely.

“Well, it’s not the outdoors in the middle of winter. So, I’ll take it,” his lips quirked upwards, and you couldn’t help but stare a moment – his smiles were few and far between these days, especially after Haley. Any smile you could pry from him was something you cherished, even though you would never admit it.

“Room for two?” you jumped, not noticing the woman who appeared at the counter now. Her sleeves of her flannel shirt were rolled up, despite the cold, and her straw like hair framed her face, grinning too widely at the two of you.

Hotch seemed unfazed, “Two rooms actually. We were sent over here by the Creswell Hotel in town. They said you would accommodate us.”

“Yes, yes,” she flipped through some charts, “Unfortunately one of the rooms we had for you was just taken.”

“You booked the room you were holding for us?” you repeated, and she looked up from her list, tilting her head.

“Did you expect me to hold it forever, my dear?”

You stared, voice rising with every word, “It’s only been twenty minutes since we left-”

“We’ll take the one room, thank you,” Hotch interjected, taking the key from the woman, and steering you away from the counter, “Sorry, I just didn’t want our other room to magically get booked.”

“Yeah, no, you’re right,” you shook your head, “sorry. I just can’t believe her. This is ridiculous.”

“Better than sleeping outside right?” you rolled your eyes at that, as the woman waved you over to your room. And that’s when it dawned on you.

You were going to be sharing a room with Hotch. She unlocked the room for you, handing Hotch the key, before flicking on the light.

Both your eyes fell on the bed. Bed. Singular.

There was one bed.

~~~

The conversation with the manager went as well as the first one did. There was nothing she could do. Of course, you thought, staring into your go-bag, of course you would end up sharing a hotel room with your boss.

“Do you mind if I shower first?” your head snapped up, and you shook your head, “Look, I know this is…uncomfortable, but it’s just a few nights. Obviously I’ll take the floor-”

“Hotch, I can take the floor-”

He shook his head, a wry smile pulling at his lips, “You take the bed,” and he adds, “that’s an order.”

“Also,” you call after him, “can we not tell the team about our…living arrangement?”

He quirks a brow, throwing his towel over his shoulder, “Morgan and Garcia don’t need to know about this.”

“Thank you,” he closes the door behind him, and after a minute or two, you hear the shower start to run. You didn’t know what to do with yourself. Your teeth bared down on your lip, remembering how much Garcia had teased you as you waited for the cab to take you to the motel.

“Come on, Y/N, we all know that you and Hotch-”

“Are co-workers, nothing more,” you hissed, pulling her aside, “There’s nothing between us. We’re just friends-”

“Friends who spend late nights at the office? Friends who stare at each other far too often? Come on, Y/N, you have worked here less time than most of the team and you have spent more weekends with him and Jack then the rest of us.”

“I-“ You sighed, holding your head, “I don’t want to push him into something he’s not ready for Penelope,”

She put her hands on her hips, “How is he supposed to know what he’s ready for when he doesn’t even know you’re an option?”

Her words continued to ring in your ears. You walked the length of the room – which was about 6 strides before you had to turn back around again. Your boss was currently showering, one door separating the two of you. Heat burned a trail down your cheeks, warming your neck.

Screw showering. You needed to go to sleep. You had to do something other than think about the words burning on your chest, ready to spring from your lips. The windows rattled, and you shivered, rubbing your sides as you knelt besides the radiator. Your fingers grazed the metal – it was barely warm. You turned the knobs, trying to get the heat going, until –

“What are you doing?” You jumped, the knob coming off in your hand.

Shit.

Your shower lasted far too long – but it was needed to wash away the sense of dread you felt. Unfortunately, as you turned the water off and stepped out, it was immediately replaced by nerves. You pulled on a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt. You had opted not to wash your hair, knowing your odds of drying your hair would be slim to none, and you would rather not add a hospital trip to top off this wonderful night. You paused before the door, heaving a heavy sigh, before opening it.

You found Hotch not sleeping, but toying with the radiator, “You didn’t tell me you went to radiator repair school in between law school and the FBI.”

He shook his head, sighing, “I didn’t, but I’m starting to wonder if that would have more useful than my law degree.”

You shivered again, and it wasn’t just the shower – it had gotten colder in here and it would only get colder throughout the night. You glanced at the barebones set up that Hotch was going to calling a bed tonight, and back at him.

You caught his eye and he cut you off, “You’re not sleeping on the floor, Y/N,”

“Hotch-”

“It’s just one night, I can-”

“I wasn’t going to suggest that I sleep on the floor,” your cheeks burned, swallowing the lump in your throat, “I was going to say we both sleep on the bed.” He opened and closed his mouth, jaw set as he seemed to consider it, “We’re both adults. We’re friends.”

You sat on the bed, arms crossed, and he tilted his head, “And you’re fine with this?”

You gave a soft chuckle, “I suggested it, so yes.”

He sighed, “But-“

“Hotch,” you pulled yourself under the covers, “Get over here, it’s freezing.”

You tried to pay no mind as he slid into bed beside you, ever so careful – like everything he did. You noticed his hair was still damp from his shower, the smell of his shampoo strong – was it mint?

You shook yourself from these thoughts, turning from him to face the edge of the bed, “Good night.”

“Good night.”

You thought the end of it, but it wasn’t.

You couldn’t fall asleep, no matter how much you intimidated the act. Eyes closed, breaths even, snuggled in the corner of the bed, and yet…the Sandman denied you. You needed to sleep, at least for a few hours for tomorrow. A lack of sleep led to mistakes which could led to a life lost. And yet, you knew every second that passed as you thought about this was another second you weren’t sleeping. And finally, you narrowed the problem down to two things – one, your boss sleeping next to you and the fact you fell asleep sleeping the other way, which would entail facing him.

You couldn’t tell if Hotch was sleeping. He hadn’t moved much since he settled in. Was he pretending like you? The windows rattled again and a cold breeze made its way through the thin glass, and through your thin blanket.

Fuck it. It was cold and you were tired. You turned around, eyes still very much shut, but curiosity pulled at your eyelids to just peek.

But you didn’t have to.

“Still awake?” your eyes opened to find a pair of brown ones staring back at you.

“Yeah,” you sighed, “despite my best efforts.”

“Is something on your mind?”

“Not really,” besides not being able to sleep with you lying beside me, “How about you?”

“You know, I’ve spent a lot of time with you, and I still can’t figure out if you’re lying or not,” his brow raised, you bit back a smile, “You can’t always brush aside your own thoughts.”

“I can try,” you relent when he frowns, “Hotch, I can’t.”

“Why can’t you? I’ve told you things I haven’t told anyone,” he admits, “things about Jack, about Haley. I want to be that for you too.” You stay silent, eyes staring at his pillow rather than him, “Unless you don’t trust me?”

“I do,” you sit up, allowing the blanket to bunch by your legs, and he follows suit, leaning on one hand. “Too much. That’s the problem.”

You lift your eyes to his, and you find him staring, his gaze heavy with the same emotions – fear, hesitance, and something else – something warmer.

Would it be so bad? You thought, would it be so bad to give yourself the one thing, the one person would’ve wanted so long, and allow yourself to have it? He dared closer, his breath against your lips, eyes flickering from your eyes to your lips.

“Tell me to stop. Tell me to stop, and I’ll sleep on the floor, and I’ll never try this again,” he whispers, so quietly, and it breaks your heart. It exudes of the hesitance, the desire, the brushes neither of you spoke of, the lingering looks, the simple domestic routine the two you adopted without a second glance, and the fear – the fear you would both lose it all.

“Don’t,” you whisper, pressing your lips to his again. And you are enamored – in how he feels so soft against your lips, in the warmth of his hand cupping your face, and the quiet whisper of your name on his lips when you part for a breath, “Hotch- Aaron, I-”

He draws away to look at you, and you shake your hand, fingers at the back of his head, carding through his hair, “I’ve just wanted this for so long,”

“I have too,” he admits, teeth brushing against his bottom lip, “I just never-”

“Wanted to hurt you,” you finish with a small laugh, “Garcia was right, we are both idiots.”

He presses a soft kiss to your lips, and then to your forehead, “At least we learned,” you lean up to catch his lips in another kiss, and he returns it – his hands daring lower now, as you lean back into the plush of the bed. His lips leave yours, trailing open mouthed kisses down the side of your neck, “and I’ll never make the same mistake again.”

Your eyes open at the sound of your phone ringing, and you almost believe your in your own bed, until you feel someone shift beside you, and you hear his voice, “Hotchner,”

So, it wasn’t your phone. You blink sleep away from your eyes, and see him sitting in the bed beside you, “We’ll be right there.”

His forehead furrowed, and eyes dark, though his gaze softens when he sees you staring, “We have to go. They found another body.”

You sit up, pressing a small kiss to his lips, rolling your thumb to smooth his creased brow, “Let’s go.”

But he stops you, “About last night,” and your heart tightens at his expression, was it over that quickly? “I don’t know how I’m going to get anything done around you, so I’m going to have you work with Reid and help him nail down the geographic profile.”

Your worry dissipates, and your frown quickly grows into a grin, “Think I’ll be a distraction?” You sit up on your knees, attempting your best doe-eyed expression, and he smiles.

“You already were,” he sighs, running a hand through his hair, “it’s just for now. While we both get used to it.”

You drape your hands around his shoulders, pressing your foreheads together, “I know, and you better get used to it. Because I’m not going anywhere.”

~~~

You were working with Reid to put together a geographic profile, staring at the map pinned to the board in front of you. Reid had placed markers on the various places that the bodies had been discovered, along with abduction sites, looking for some sort of comfortable radius. Your brow scrunched in thought, you didn’t notice Garcia until she tapped your shoulder.

“Penelope, did you find something to help-”

“No, no, but they had to reset the internet in this place for the fiftieth time because this place doesn’t know Google Fiber from the fiber they eat at breakfast,” she waved you off, her painted lips curled in a mischievous grin as she pulled you aside not so subtly, asking much too loud, “How did it go last night?”

You were luckily expecting to be grilled by her, either sometime during this trip or on the plane ride back, “Nothing happened last night because we’re professionals on a case,” you rolled your eyes, “and because we’re just friends.” You added.

“Come on, I know something must have happened – Hotch always works with you in the field on these types of cases, and suddenly, you’re with Reid?” Reid looks up from the board, slightly affronted, “No offense baby boy.”

“Garcia, please,” you sighed, checking your phone, “The Wi-Fi’s back on, you should get back to work.” She protests, but you shake your head, “Unless you want me to tell the boss?”

She pouts, but relents, “I will get you to tell me what happened last night. Mark my words.”

You sigh, shutting the door behind her, turning back to the board, when you feel Reid look, “Got something to say?”

“It’s just interesting,”

You look over, and he bites his lip, “What is?”

“That you said you were professionals and then added you were friends,” Reid says, flipping through a case file, “almost like being friends was an afterthought, or that you’re something more. I just figured something out about the case.”

Your mouth hangs open as he puts the phone on speaker, and you hear Hotch’s voice ring out, “What did you find?”

Your head snaps up as you look from Reid to the phone, “He’s stalking the women in a pattern – it seems random, but when you-”

“Spence,” you cut him off gently, “I trust you, but where is he going to hit next?”

Reid’s eyes fly over the map, “The north end, the area that his second victim was taken.”

You hear Hotch give orders out to the local police and agents, “Both of you stay at the precinct and help Rossi deliver the profile.”

Rossi arrived shortly after, “We are looking for a man in his late 30s to early 40s,”

“A veteran, a man who’s seen the horrors of war and has remained untreated for Post Traumatic Stress Disorder,” Reid continued to the on-looking officers, who stood with either their brows furrowed or furiously scribbling notes, “This may be because of lack of access to resources from the V.A. or a refusal of treatment.”

“He is suffering from a psychotic break,” you intoned, pointing to the map and the scattered points concentrated in a southern part of the map, “he’s seeking his victims out in these areas that he is familiar with. We believed at first it was because he grew up in the area, but we no longer think that’s the case—”

“Why?” a man you recognized as a lieutenant pipe up, his stern face looking thoroughly unimpressed, his arms crossed, and eyebrows raised. He was just looking for an opportunity to undermine you, wasn’t he?

“Because,” you kept your tone carefully even, the last thing you needed to garner animosity amongst all these officers – the team was only there by there by their good graces, “someone who grew up in the area wouldn’t have ventured into this territory-“ you pointed to a section of woods to the west, “where bears often hibernate.”

He said nothing, and Rossi then continued, finishing up the profile, “We advise being cautious around this man, he is overwhelmed by his delusions and is extremely dangerous.”

“Unless it’s one of you?” the Lieutenant scoffed, muttering under his breath, “you just want the credit—”

“It isn’t about credit,” you snapped, “we are trying to stop a man from hurting more innocent people. The exact reason why we are all here, Lieutenant. Or did you forget?”

His face turned several shades of both red and purple, lips twisted in an ugly scowl that made his eyes bug out, and he stomped away towards his captain’s office. The sergeant cleared his throat, “Dismissed, get to work,” he crossed the bullpen as the chatter resumed, flashing you an apologetic look.

“You didn’t need to add the ‘did you forget?’” Rossi sighed, shaking his head.

“It was a reasonable question,” Reid started, before Rossi cut him off with a look.

“You’re going to have to talk to Hotch about this,” Rossi glanced at the lieutenant and captain barely visible through the captain’s parted blinds, “Or they will.”

“You what?” It had been a few hours, and still, the team had come up with nothing. Every time they got close, the unsub seemed to slip away – and now he knew the police were closing in on him. And now, he had resorted to guerilla tactics to hide out. The team’s only chance to catch him is when he will resurface for another target.

But that wasn’t your most pressing concern at the moment.

Instead it was your boss, standing on the other side of the bed, arms crossed, and brow thoroughly furrowed – though now you appreciated how much the suit did for the intimidation factor, because Hotch glaring at you in a t-shirt and boxers as opposed to his suit? Very much not the same thing. Although…difficult in other ways.

“I snapped at the lieutenant during the profile,” you keep eye contact with him, despite the growing need to look away from the mix of both anger and disappointment in his gaze, “we’re here to catch a murderer, and he was acting like it was-“

“A turf war? That’s because it is,” he sighs, pinching the bridge of his brow, “You know we are only allowed to come to these places—”

“Yes, on good graces of these cops-” You scoff.

“They are officers,” he corrected you, his voice tight, “This is their community. I understand it’s frustrating to be undermined, but—”

“No, you wouldn’t understand,” you said quietly, a quiet chuckle lodged in the back of your throat.

“What is that supposed to mean?”

You turn away, holding your head, the ghost of a pressing headache on the horizon, “I’m a woman, I’m periodically underestimated just by my very existence – just by how I choose to define my gender and how society deems to view me. You, on the other hand, are an older white man – you can only fail up,” his lips were a tight frown, “So yes, I told that man the focus of our job is to catch bad guys because it was the truth.”

“It is,” Hotch said slowly, rounding the bed, hands raised, “But it’s not for us. Our job is to help them do their job, and we can’t do that if they stop calling us.”

“I know,” you cross your arms, “I know, I just—”

“Just what?” his arm slowly wraps around you, “what’s bothering you?”

Your fingers brush against his cheek, tracing his jaw, “This,” your fingers run across his lips, and he presses a kiss to the pads of them, “This will just be another reason for other people to underestimate me. Another reason to pass me over for a promotion. Another reason to—"

“I understand if you don’t want to do this,” he swallows, “I always did. I never want to hurt you or your career.”

“I know,” your lips press against his, “and that’s what makes it harder. Even though we shouldn’t,” another kiss, this time against his pulse point, “even though it’s probably wrong,” your lips grow more insistent now, his hands snaking lower and lower, “even though this is risking both our careers.”

And you pause, pressing your forehead to his, “But we shouldn’t,” his hands fell away, and you shook your head, the absence of his warmth making you shiver.

“We shouldn’t.”

He slept on the floor. It was somehow harder to sleep without him than it was with him. Probably because you knew what it felt like to sleep beside him. You hoped he hadn’t noticed you staring at his back as he quietly slept, wondering how you had come so close and gone so far in such a short amount of time.

It made your head spin. How could things change so quickly?

But anything could change – even in a single moment.

And it did.

~~~~

“We should pull her out,” Hotch watched your cam, as you hiked up the trail that yoy, Garcia, and Reid had pinpointed as one of two trails he could be hunting at, “she’s gone too far.”

“She can handle herself, Hotch,” Morgan intoned, arms crossed, “she’s got this.”

He kept his face in a careful mask, his mind was caught in a carefully concocted storm, and he could barely keep the walls up, “Ten more minutes,” he finally said. And it wasn’t a question – but an order.

But ten more minutes was all he needed.

Out of nowhere, he had you on the ground, knocked over the head – dragging you to where he kept his victims – including the one he still had. He kept each of his victims for shorter and shorter amounts of times. But he always got rid of them in the same way – he would grab another before he disposed of the other.

“Go, now,” Hotch said, before grabbing a vest, “And I’m coming too.”

~~~

You groaned; a soft noise pulled from the back of your throat. Damn bastard got the jump on you – although that was the point. Were you dead? But the ringing of your ears and the distinct screaming ache in your head told you that you most assuredly were not – death wouldn’t hurt this much.

“Are you okay?” a small voice asked, and you blinked, eyelids feeling heavier than the sky carried by Atlas, a titan with the weight of the world on his back – how wholly ironic, that’s how you always felt. And your shoulders ached just like his must have, but – the chains clanged above you – his pain wasn’t from being chained to a wall. “Hey, are you okay?”

Finally, your vision relented a few degrees of blurriness, allowing you to lift and turn your head – a woman chained the same way you were presumably – arms strung up high, joined by two cuffs looped around a chain that was hammered into a rocky wall of a cave.

“Yeah,” your head disagreed, screeching with every thought you had, “well not great,” your eyes squint in the darkness, looking for dancing shadows in the pitch black, “he isn’t…here is he?”

“No, you’ll know when he’s here – the smallest noise makes an echo,” she says, and she’s right – you can hear the tiniest of waterdrops plink against the stalagmites, “I think he’s going to kill me when he comes back.”

Her voice is raw, the terror quavering in her words, and you wonder – what he had done to her? Each victim had been tortured in different ways from the military – somewhere waterboarded, others were cut and bleed, others were beaten. Whatever it was – she spent the majority of the time screaming.

“It’s going to be okay,” you grit your teeth, trying to strain against the restraints, “my team is on their way, I’m an FBI agent.”

There’s a growl that emanates from the darkness, and then a roar, “WHO SENT YOU?”

The unsub charges forward, wild eyed and bleary, holding a shotgun to your neck, as the victim sobbed, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry. He made me-“

“SHUT UP,” he ripped apart your clothes until he found the camera and your GPS tracker, crushing it under his boot, “Now,” he pressed the barrel to your chin, “Who. Sent. You?”

~~~~

I took you for granted. That’s the first and only thought he has when he hears a gunshot ring out in the bowels of the cave, echoing with the hideous squelch of blood. A scream rings out, along with the sound of sobbing, following the shot with disturbing synchrony – a symphony of his worst nightmares.

He doesn’t remember much. He remembers running, the sounds of Morgan and JJ yelling for him, and small whimpers that sounded against the rocky crags. And he found you – covered in blood, the scarlet dripping running down your arms and a splash across your face. The unsub was on the ground, unconscious, in a pool of his own blood, as the woman beside you cried.

Morgan and JJ undid her restraints, while Hotch checked you over, his hands patting the length of your body for injuries, “Are you okay? What—” Your clothes were ripped up, the blood dripping across your chest. He pulls off his windbreaker and drapes it over your shoulders.

“He found out I was an agent, but he thought I was a Russian agent,” you shook your head, “he thinks he’s a soldier in the cold war. He had us chained to the wall. He was going to shoot me, but I managed to convince him that I was part of the same covert unit he believed he was in. He undid my chain and that’s when I went for his gun. He fired it and it caught him by the shoulder. He fell over from the recoil and knocked himself out.”

He frowned at the blood, that covered your body, “Then what—”

“Pig’s blood,” you wrinkled your nose, “He was going to cover me in it and then—” you cut yourself off, “either way, I’m okay.”

“I—” he cuts off, when Morgan and JJ call you guys out, “we’ll talk after.”

He watches you as the paramedic does a basic check-up, “Have you told her how you feel?”

He blinks, looking over to see Dave with a raised brow, “Yes, I have,”

Dave breaks out in a grin, “It’s about time—”

“We decided we shouldn’t be together, Dave,” he shakes his head.

“Aaron—”

“What will people say?” Hotch cuts him off, “about her? What will happen to her career—”

“You can’t control everything, Aaron. Neither of you will know what will happen if you date, but both of you know what will happen if you don’t—” Hotch tilts his head, as Dave sighs, holding forehead, “You’ll both be miserable. You make each other happy. She makes Jack happy. You don’t get that very often in life, Aaron. Take it when you get it.”

Dave nods, before walking towards the car, and Hotch takes one last look at you, wrapping up with the paramedic, before following him.

He knew what he had to do.

~~~

As you step off the plane and make your way into the office, you shake the events of the day off, “Get some rest, sweetheart,” Morgan squeezes you in a one armed hug, before Garcia crushes you in a full one, “whoa, whoa baby girl, easy, she just got patched up and now you’re already trying to break her in two.”

“I was just so worried,” Garcia stepped back, “are you sure you’re gonna be okay getting home?”

“Yeah, I’ll be fine, don’t worry,” She squeezes your hand one last time.

“Call me if you need anything,” she says, walking towards the elevator door with Morgan, Reid, and JJ.

“You know it’s actually possible to split someone in two with just human sheer force?” you hear Reid say before the doors close.

“Reid, I didn’t need you to tell me that,”

You finish grabbing your stuff, heading towards the elevators, when Hotch calls your name, “Can I see you in my office for a second?”

You nod, following him to his office, heart in your throat.

He shuts the door behind you, and he just stares.

You tilt your head, shifting in place, unsure whether to sit or not, “Are you okay?”

He shakes himself from his stupor, “I should be asking you that,” he takes careful steps towards you, “I almost lost you today, I—”

“Aaron, you didn’t lose me,” you hold yourself back, from finding his hand, from cradling his cheek against your palm, instead keeping your arms crossed against your chest, “you could never lose me.”

“I already did,” he breathes, and instead his hand found your cheek, and his hand found your fingers, pulling them from your chest, “when I didn’t fight for us.”

“Aaron—”

“Tell me to stop,” Hotch tells you, fingers brushing gently over the curve of your face, “tell me to stop loving you, but I can’t. I’ve tried. I don’t think I ever will.”

“Our jobs—”

“We can talk to Strauss, together, we can figure this out. After almost losing you – something happened to you and we never—” he cuts himself off, clearing his throat, “You are taking a bigger risk than I am I know, I know you are,” his voice is strangled, “and I never want to pressure you into something you don’t want, but I’m telling you where I stand.”

“Aaron,”

“You don’t have to respond,” and you smile, fingers intertwined with his.

“Oh, but I have to,” and you press your lips to his, “because I love you, and I never want to lose you.”

He kisses you then, arms wrapping around your waist, as one of yours found purchase on his shoulder, the other fisted in his hair. His chuckle rumbles against your lips, “Sorry you got stuck with the short end of the stick,”

You laugh, shaking your head, “It’s never the short end if I’m with you.”

Tag List: @infj-slytherclaw, @ciarawriitesmarvel, @evans-dejong, @laneygthememequeen, @good-heavens-chris-evans, @aberrant-annie, @possum-pancakes, @spoken-stardust, @there-will-be-p-e-a-c-e, @quitepointless, @sabrinafey, @emmalvei-blog, @fantasy-never-ends, @ihateitwhenyourejustvague, @dreila03, @arabellathorne, @antmnwasp, @jellijinnie, @danisnonexistent, @peaskyblonders, @that-aesthetic-wannabe, @llamaproblem, @hurricanejjareau, @kmart2124, @ughitsbaby, @factualfic, @kamieshep, @freewriterofdarkness. @dizzydancingqueen, @evee87, @unusualtingz, @lavenderblossom12, @panagiasikelia, @alleycat2496, @witteksquad, @agenthotchxxxx, @aberrant-annie, @pan-pride-12, @possum-pancakes, @spoken-stardust, @carisilover, @cringeemospntrashassbutt, @aaronelishotch, @quitepointless, @geekgirleve, @amyisantisocial, @emmalvei-blog, @my-life-is-here-soo, @patricks-fabulous-face, @omg-its-vixen, @maraudermae, @flowersprettyflowers, @kobrakai1972, @bowieisawizard

#aaron hotchner #aaron hotchner x reader #aaron hotchner imagines #aaron hotchner x you #aaron hotchner fanfiction #criminal minds #criminal minds fanfiction #hotch x you #hotch x reader #criminal minds imagines #hotch imagines #hotch fanfiction

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thoughtfullyrainynightmare · 3 years

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Yeeaaah… so this ended up turning out longer than I intended… but it’s a theory I felt like sharing nonetheless. Hopefully tumblr doesn’t eat this & if this is too long or odd to answer… don’t worry, I understand. I just wanted to share while it was in my head, ya know? So: Long Post Warning!

I am not 100% caught up on every chapter yet, but I do have a brief understanding of all the events up til now. So please forgive me if this has been revealed and I just don’t know about it yet.

Bell 🧚🏻 = wind spirit🌬🌪

Salamander (who honestly looks more like a dragon than a salamander so he’s gettin’ the dragon emoji) 🐲 = fire spirit 🔥

Undine 🌊 = water spirit💧

As far as I know, we don’t yet have an inkling of who the earth spirit will be or to whom he will “choose” to contract with.

Tbh, I have a some of feelings about possibilities surrounding the earth spirit…

Bell and Undine are both obviously women and I’m 96.8% sure that Salamander is a boy… but who knows, I also wouldn’t be the least bit freaking surprised if Tabata threw that back in our face and Salamander ends up being a girl like in Shrek (and on that note, I just need to ask, in Shrek 2 when Shrek and Donkey drank the Happily Ever After Potion, it’s described as “"Happily Ever After Potion maximum strength. For you and your true love. Drink of this potion and bliss will be thine, happiness, comfort, and beauty divine.” This stuff turned both Shrek and Fiona human while it turned Donkey into a pure white stallion… am I the only one that still gets peeved we never got an answer on wtf that stuff did to Dragon??? Or how it would’ve affected their dragon donkey hybrid babies??? That’s the only thing that irks me about Shrek 2… okay, whew, now that I’ve gotten that out, back to Black Clover theorizing)

Going by the assumption that Salamander is most likely a boy, it would stand to reason that the earth spirit has a good chance at being male as well like 2 female spirits, 2 male.

Salamander’s inspiration obviously comes from dragon lore, I can’t find one singularly specific mythology reference Tabata would have based Salamader on so I’m guessing Salamander is based on dragon lore.

Bell has, for the most part, 2 inspirations Tabata based her on. The main one being Sylphs have power over the skies and air. They've been delineated to have control over the wind and the clouds, and even have the ability to purify the air and control the weather itself. Sylphs are not officially from a specific type of mythology, but if they were to be categorized they’d qualify as European folklore, same as Undine and Gnome which will be explained a few bullet points later. The second and most obvious (my fav of the 2) inspiration Tabata drew from for her character is Tinkerbell; from the blond hair, green dress, gets pissed when male partner pays attention to any female that isn’t her, yeah no denying she’s based on tinkerbell; my guess is Tabata combined her with Sylphs wind magic because it was Tinkerbell’s pixie dust that Peter, the lost boys, and the Darling children used to be able to fly. “Faith, trust, & a little bit of pixie dust” (Which is even more perfect because, even if he doesn’t show it, there is no one else in the series that has more faith & trust in Asta than Yuno does… Yuno’s infinite faith/trust in Asta both drives their rivalry forward and, by this logic, is one of the very reasons Yuno can sore so high🥰).

Undine is the only spirit character, for now, that is directly based off of a real water spirit in European folklore (again, even though Sylphs technically qualify to be categorized under European mythology, as far as I know, they are not officially categorized as such which is why I say Undine is the only one) - “Undine, also spelled Ondine, is a mythological figure of European tradition, a water nymph who becomes human when she falls in love with a man but is doomed to die if he is unfaithful to her.” Being that Undine is described as being able to take human form when she falls in love with a man *cough cough* Ariel *cough cough* Black Clover’s Undine’s background states that she made a contract with the first queen of the newly formed Heart Kingdom and has thus stayed loyal and made a contract with every Heart Queen since. Maybe she fell in love with the father/brother/husband/male-figure associated with the first queen and since the queen is the predominant ruler of the heart kingdom - Undine made a contract with her to be close to this man while knowing he could/would never be hers… she wouldn’t die if her love is one sided… if her love is unsaid and unrequited then anything this man does with another woman isn’t considered being unfaithful.. and maybe she’s maintained contracts with every Heart Queen since out of sheer devotion, loyalty, and love to that original man whom she took human form for. Or she was in love with the first queen and has made a contract with every queen since out of sheer devotion, loyalty, and love not on just for that first queen but every one of her descendants. Who knows?

Tabata’s mythological references (demonology excluded because that a whole other thing) for the most part mainly circulate around Greek mythology, Norse mythology, and European folklore.

Going based off of Undine (and Sylphs) , there’s a strong possibility that this yet to be named earth spirit will possibly directly based on, even if only slightly, someone of those three categories above.

Greek mythology, I find somewhat unlikely seeing as there’s no official male god of earth in Greek mythology. There are deities that have roles related to the earth yeah… but no god surround the earth itself or the element itself. The closest thing to a god of earth in Greek mythology is Gaea - goddess of earth. Simplify it to god of dirt and still the only result is Demeter goddess of agriculture (which seems similar to Mimosa in some ways but I don’t think she will obtain an earth spirit because I think the earth spirit will have more to do with mineral earth than plants and agriculture). If there is to be any inspiration drawn from Greek mythology in terms of an earth spirit, but even this seems a little unlikely, my guess would be possibly some characteristics from Satyrs seeing as they are the male equivalent of nymphs - what Undine is technically classified as.

Norse mythology seems a bit more, but not by much at first, plausible in terms of gathering reference for an earth spirit. It probably wouldn’t be the Norse God of Earth Jörd because she is still technically a goddess and mother of earth like Gaea. However, Norse mythology does have a deity of rocks - Hrungnir is a jötunn (a type of entity contrasted with gods and other non-human figures, such as dwarfs and elves. The entities are themselves ambiguously defined, variously referred to by several other terms, including risi, thurs and troll). There is also one more Norse aspect that goes along these lines - Dvergar or Norse dwarves are entities in Norse mythology associated with rocks, the earth, deathliness, luck, technology, craft, metal work, wisdom, and greed.

Norse mythologies depictions of both jötunn and dvergar tie into the third category of European folklore’s depiction of earth deities/spirits. In European folklore, Gnome, is a dwarfish, subterranean goblin or earth spirit who guards mines of precious treasures hidden in the earth. He is represented in medieval mythologies as a small, physically deformed (usually hunchbacked) creature resembling a dry, gnarled old man. - this description is similar to that of jötunn/dvergar and also ties into Charmy being revealed as part dwarf which will most likely be explored in a later arc.

Tbh, I picture this guy’s personality being somewhere between Grumpy from Snow White, the grumpy but well-meaning and wisecrack Lorax, and Phil from Disney’s rendition of Hercules… (not only does imagining this type of personality have me laughing… imagining the 2 most whom I find most likely to be chosen by this earth spirit… imagining them being partnered up with this personality has me near cackling😂)

As for the 2 whom most likely might be the “chosen one” of this earth spirit?

Even though he is technically described as being Arcane in terms of his magical attribute, Mercury is by definition “a naturally-occurring chemical element found in rock in the earth's crust, including in deposits of coal.” So mercury is naturally occurring, derived from earth, and the fact that it can come from deposits of coal ties in perfectly to the hypothesis of this earth spirit/deity being along the lines of dwarves which (not JUST in Snow White) are heavily associated with miners in various mythologies and folklores. So even though technically classified as being arcane, I do think Nozel has a strong possibility of being chosen by the spirit of earth (+ it would make for an EVEN MORE epic rivalry between Nozel and Fuegoleon if they both have an elemental spirit) (++ based off of how dwarves are depicted in mythology and based on how I decribed how I think this guy’s personality will be, I can see this guy as wise/rational but also getting grumpy/irritated easily with a short fuse and just imagine him getting irritated and kicking Nozel in the shins when when he doesn’t communicate his feelings properly & almost always kicks Solid/Nebra/Augustus in the shins when he says something he shouldn’t have - omg this guy’ll be a hoot!!🤣)

The second possible “chosen one” of this earth spirit could be Sol. Not only is she 100% raw earth magic but I also feel like it would balance her out a bit having a male spirit attached to her and that’s where the wisdom side of the Lorax/Phil could kick in and help her not only improve as a mage but also as a person helping her not see things so one sided. You notice, even though the Blue Rose Knights are an all girl squad… Sol is the only one that goes to that much of a degree in despising men; everyone else on the squad detests men on the surface but for the most part not truly. Charlotte keeps up the façade of detesting men to both appear strong for her squad ladies but also to mask her own insecurities. Sol, while she has gotten a little better since her initial introduction, is the only one who barely tolerates men… the only one who’s depicted as not having a façade and genuinely detests all men with a few exceptions. Having a male spirit like character who does not take her BS (*shin kick💥*) but also offers her wisdom and guidance that helps her grow as a person would be phenomenal for her character overall.

I find Nozel to be the more interesting outcome (NO! not just because I’m a Nozel simp… who told you that? They lie) but either of these characters would be interesting and could improve drastically in character development and as a mage having someone like this joined at the hip.

What are your thoughts?

– Grimoire_Girl📚

OKay, okay *takes a moment* (Also: did I just stop what I was doing, just to read and reply to this? .... Maybe)

I'd like to platonically kiss you on the mouth (with your consent ofc, because consent is a big thing on this blog), because I love this. Okay the Fue simp in me was hoping to have more of him, but in the end I didn't even mind. And can I just say that I love, lovelovelove the idea of Nozel getting the Elemental Spirit of Earth.

The theory is made *so* *much* *better* by the mental image of him (supposedly 'him') being a Lorax/Phil (from now on, let's call him Phorax). Because can you just imagine this duo?! Nozel, our lovely tsun-tsun who is in need of a big, warm hug and therapy. (Like Nozel, sweetie, I know that there aren't many therapists around, but you need to talk to someone.)

I'm also thinking that since it's probable that there'll be the 2-2 divide between boy/girl spirits, because I kinda agree with you on Sal being a boy (I'm aware of Shrek 2, but unfortunately I have no answers, but I laughed *so hard* while reading that), if there'll be a divide between the Spirit forms that have wings. Because I can't see the Earth Spirit giving a flying Spirit Dive form.

I mean, what, everyone else, aka the rest 3 spirit owners can rise to the skies and then Nozel is left behind like a plucked chicken? (I'm so, so sorry for that comparison, but ain't no one leaving him behind! Nozel. Needs. To. Be. Included.) I don't think that's fair. So, it could very well be that the two else give a "grounded" Spirit form, and Bell and Undine give a flying form.

Aaaanyways... I do like your theory/thoughts on how Undine came to be. And I could very well see that to be canon.

I, honestly, have nothing further to add at this point. Because this is brilliant. I love this.

But Tabata please, give us a tiny bit more lore. Please? A pretty please

#grimoire girl #black clover theories #lovely people #this is gold #I'll be thinking about this all day

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bubbly-bungee-may · 3 years

Text

LawNa Hint?! Color Spread 843

Long Post ahead!

This Color Spread came up on my OP Pinterest board and I’m so thankful it did. Let’s take a moment to observe Nami’s dress, shall we?

What do we see hereee??

I’ll tell you what I see. I see a yellow dress and a paw print. Can we think of what those two things are associated with....

Yes you guessed correctly.... Trafalgar D. Water Law

Squeals in a deafening pitch

So let’s talk.

First, the color yellow and its importance:

Pre time-skip we are exposed to Law’s submarine, the Polar Tang, for the first time. The color is unmistakably yellow. And after staring at the gif while making this post I was also drawn to his Jolly Roger that is etched on the side. It’s colored in with orange... and our fav girl just happens to have orange hair (it’s also the color of Bepo’s suit which I’ll go into significance about next).

During pre time-skip we met Law who wore a yellow sweatshirt with black accents and his trademark hat.

One could argue that the white ruffles on the top of Nami’s dress could represent his hat, but it’s a stretch (a stretch that I don’t mind making).

Secondly, the paw print and its significance:

I firmly believe that Bepo, the Heart Pirate’s navigator, is represented by this paw print. The paw print looks a bit different in the anime than on the dress (it’s more kawaii), but if you look up an actual bear paw print it is identical to the one on Nami’s dress.

It makes the most logical sense for Nami, the Straw Hat’s navigator to be wearing another navigator’s “symbol”; even more so since its the “symbol” of a crew member of the group they are in an alliance with. It’s with this logic that I apply the fact that Bepo is the only one in the Heart Pirates crew to be wearing an orange suit while Penguin, Shachi, and the rest are wearing white ones.

To sum up, Nami is the navigator of the Straw Hats who is wearing a dress that looks to symbolize the Heart Pirates (or at least Law and Bepo) and Bepo is wearing an orange suit to represent Nami (his navigator counterpart).

Now, it’s also no secret that Bepo and Law have a close friendship and that Law feels comfortable around him.

I mean come on look at Law’s little smile towards his fluffy and adorable navigator (*´∀`*) ..... (please look at Nami like this, Law I’m begging you)

Anyway, the same could be said about Law and Nami. After their alliance was established, Law and Nami began to trust and rely on each other more and also began to feel more comfortable around one another.

Some examples would be Nami trusting him to save her when Giolla was attacking the ship (though he was in a bigger predicament than her atm so he couldn’t come to her rescue) or when Law trusted that Nami would come sail the ship and pick him up at Green Bit. I go into their relationship a bit in another LawNa post. --> https://valeriem-16.tumblr.com/post/637689259874222080/the-sails-of-lawna-have-unfurled

But I believe Law’s relationship with Bepo is the influence of his ever-growing relationship with Nami. Now if only we could get Law to rest his head (or body... both are fine with me hehe) on Nami, my shipper heart would be content.

Whether this Color Spread was an actual hint of LawNa or just the comparison of Bepo and Nami who knows, but I can’t believe that her wearing something so representative of Law and Bepo was a coincidence, Oda is too smart and conscious of what he draws for it to be a coincidence. Which hopefully means that Law and Nami’s friendship will develop into something stronger and even representative of his relationship with Bepo.

To end the post, enjoy this art of Nami trying to read poor Bepo’s map (he’s still a work in progress, it��s fine) and Law giving us his famous grumpy (but adorable) face. If anyone knows the artist please tag them!

#lawna #one piece #trafalgar law #law one piece #nami one piece #nami #i love them #also bepo is freaking adorable #bepo one piece #law x nami

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fubukiswifenoimnotjoking · 2 years

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1,2,17,19

1. Show most recent wip

So I’m in between projects rn, one with OCS bc art schools wanna see that in portfolios and one about pomegranates/demons/idk bc why not. I’m way happier with the pomegranate so far tho

2. 5 favs of ur own work

GAH I don’t have room on this post for that many pics!! I think I’ll make a separate post for that. I’m awful at picking things in order from least to greatest but I’ll try! Most likely gonna include fan art and regular art 😏

17. What inspires you?

Wow, deep question. Gonna start with my art teacher, he’s very dear to me as a teacher and as a friend and I’ve grown so much as an artist because of him.

Tumblr and tik tok sometimes make me so self conscious of my art, but they inspire me so so often too. Literally so creative!

The shit I consume, whether it’s Wes Anderson movies on repeat, studio ghibli, One punch man (obviously), the Life is Strange series, Tokyo Ghoul, my fav band Kings of Leon, Coraline, godzilla movies good and bad, and so so much more. Media has give me my own taste bro!

Artists! Whether it’s famous af ones like Keith haring or smaller ones like ppl online (I would tag but I don’t wanna throw anyone off guard) I’m learning so so much from methods and hobbies and PPL. (Speaking of methods, read how to be and artist by jerry saltz. Fucking amazing)

And I guess finally is my drive to only pursue art careers, like my main one is to be a comic book artist! It’s a dream and I want it so bad, so I keep pushing.

19. Fav characters to draw

Oh EASY. Genos I draw EVERY day all over my classwork, istg my teachers see him glaring at them from my papers more than they see my work 🙏🏻 I draw fubuki alllll the time, tho that’s mostly bc I’m gay and I need to or ill die. I don’t draw saitama as often bc of my fubuki obsession! But trust me he’s still drawn all the time. Then recently I’ve been super into drawing Tatsumaki, mostly with short hair as part of a non-binary Tatsu au im coming up with (long story). They’re all so fun to draw! I wanna draw Kama soon but been busy 😩

I have a whole page in a sketchbook dedicated to drawing opm characters I rarely/have never drawn, it’s wild. I’ll post it if I ever finish it lol. I do occasionally draw non opm characters like Touka from Tokyo ghoul, but I have to be in the mood

Thanks for the asks! Sorry for the huge post

#medium post #art asks #thanks again!#my art #opm

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lizacstuff · 3 years

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Hi, I really enjoyed reading your thoughts about the last few episodes, you always make me feel better about things. Would you mind sharing more about the last episode, both in general and of course what you thought about Edser?

Thank you for the kind words, sorry this has taken so long to answer, I know you sent it days ago, but it’s been a busy week. As I said in another post, I actually really enjoyed this episode. I'll start with the other characters and then get to Eda and Serkan.

First Seline. Of course, she beat everyone to the punch by getting to Serkan before Ferit and Ceren. I suppose props to her for coming clean rather than allowing herself to be blackmailed, but man she was still a selfish snake until the end. I actually thought the most unfair thing was how she swept Ceren up in the people who had hid it from Serkan. What!?!? Ceren found out the day before, told Ferit that as Serkan's attorney she couldn't keep it from him, called Serkan to let him know that Ferit had to talk to him, and didn't see Serkan until that meeting! What else could she have done? She would have been fully justified in defending herself to Serkan on that score. I wish she would have... except it's not the point of this show. The point of this show is Eda and Serkan, so to that end perhaps it was more important for Serkan to think his lawyer had hid it from him, and then for us and Eda to see him get over it quickly in order to illustrate how much more relaxed he is than when we met him. It plays into the themes of change, even if it's more about evolving.

(much more under the cut)

Also, it's typical of Selin and her jealousy to try and get one last punch in and to drag the woman Ferit is now interested into the mess. I like how she tried to deliver a blow to Eda, and Eda was just like, "Whatever, do your worst" and Serkan, instead of getting mad which is what Selin wanted, just found a way to use it to flirt even harder. Then her maneuver with Balca was just gross. She knows as well as anyone that Serkan, despite his public notoriety, is a private person and here she is spilling every bit of his personal business to this woman they all met today. What a betrayal of personal trust. Good riddance to her. I mean, we'll all miss Bige, but I won't miss Selin.

Honestly, I don't think Selin is evil, she's just so selfish, myopic and spoiled that she thinks her hurt trumps everyone else. She thinks she's entitled to lash out, give grief and visit pain upon people, because she was thwarted and didn't get what she wanted. I'm glad that Eda mentioned that it was Selin who sicced the press on them, so even if they didn't prove it, they know. I've seen some criticism that Selin wasn't punished enough for her sins, but I disagree. The holding was her inheritance, her history, her father helped start that company, and she ended by giving up her stake completely, she lost her fiance and the back-up life she imagined with him, she lost Serkan and the life she imagined with him, she also lost Serkan's decades-long friendship, she lost her job, she's leaving the country. That's a lot of losing. She's hit emotional rock bottom, perhaps she'll be able to do some soul searching and figure out why she lost everything (except her money) as she starts over?

The other goodbye this episode was Alptekin, and another good riddance here. His interaction with Aydan was cruel. That's how he ends a 30 year marriage? Yikes. At least it sounds like he left everything to Aydan and Serkan and is not trying to take houses (Serkan needs the Summer House and Mountain House for sexy rendezvous reasons!) or the stake in the holding. His goodbye with Serkan was thankfully better. I mean, he can't redeem himself as a father at this point, but at least that conversation didn't make it worse. I'm glad he admitted to Serkan that he was not a good father, but also went to lengths to say that unlike him, Serkan would be a good father. Serkan would probably say that his father's opinion doesn't matter, but I think it really does, particularly on that subject. It's very plausible to me that Serkan has fears about being like his dad, and specifically being an unloving, perfection-requiring, absentee father like his dad was. It's important for him to hear that it doesn't have to be like that, hopefully Serkan internalized that they are very different men. It was also nice of him to sort of bless his future with Eda, and even after Serkan said they would want nothing to do with him, say he would still always be there if Serkan needed him. It was as good as could be expected as far as the impact it would have on Serkan's emotional state.

Didn't see much of Ayfer in this one, which is fine by me. I mentioned it last week, but WOW, what they've done to the hair, makeup and costuming is something else. For a good part of the series her style was kind of flowy and boho influenced and it worked. She had a bit of a relaxed cool vibe to her. Now they're styling her like an uptight, 90-year-old woman! That green dress was so ugly and WTF was that lampshade on her head? This is a beautiful woman surrounded by fashionable, 20-something girls, how is she getting more dowdy and frumpy by the episode?

I think I'm going to like Divorce!Aydan. She was such an arrogant character when the show began, it's nice to see her show both warmth and vulnerability. You could see she was nervous about running for the head of the foundation, which I wouldn't have expected from the woman we met early on in the series. She's been a joy the last few episodes and this was no different. And I will love her forever for staying true to Eda, and asking for her when Balca offered to be by her side. The Eda/Aydan relationship really warms my heart and I love that she needs her future daughter-in-law. Though I did feel for Seyfi when she didn't let him into the group hug. Poor Seyfi, he's as much a part of the family as anyone! Let him hug!

So, I know I've been very lukewarm towards the idea of Engin and Piril, it's just that they're such opposites it's hard to see how it will work. And they're not opposites like Eda and Serkan are opposites. Eda and Serkan are the kind of opposites that yin/yang each other, and you can easily see them living in harmony, while Engin and Piril seem like the kind that just have incompatible outlooks and lifestyles. However, I do admit that I watched the proposal with a big grin on my face and I might have clapped when she said yes. I guess they at least partially won me over. Engin really tried to go big with his proposal, and if a proposal is going to be played for laughs I'm fine with it being anybody but Edser. As a side note, I hope when Serkan asks Eda to marry him it's just the two of them, I like a private, emotional proposal for my favs. So on to everyone's favorite new character, Balca. Boy, what an interesting one she is. Seems to me if you start a new job and decide you're going to go after your boss romantically before you even meet him because an astrologer gave you two initials... you might need professional help. I'm still not over the fact that this piece of work watched Serkan and Eda's sexually-charged slowdance at the party and still had the balls to show up at his house later that night. So far she's shaping up to be a rather tragic figure. Can you imagine being that desperate or having so little self-respect or dignity? It's impossible for her to have real feelings for someone she's never met, so she's risking humiliation, hurting people, and being fired because she's just that desperate to have a warm body in her life? Yikes. That is pathetic. I'd feel sorry for her if she had shown any sign that she gave a damn that Serkan was already in a relationship for all intents and purposes. Her downfall is going to be SWEET.

Me thinks she'll be just about as successful at driving a wedge between Eda and Serkan as those who came before her. Including Aydan, Ayfer, Kaan, Efe and Selin. But hopefully her insidious presence will drive Eda to decide what she wants and to go and get her man.

LOVED all the Eda/Serkan we got this episode. Starting from the elevator and that kiss. From spoilers, most of us knew the slap was coming, but it still was jarring when it happened. I really don't love any sort of hitting, or any violent act between partners, but I won't ding the characters for it here too much. Eda was vulnerable, discombobulated, and in an emotional whirl. She's trying to maintain distance and force him to maintain distance, all the while being drawn to him on a primal level. I think she slapped him because she thought that's what she should do. They're not officially in that place, they'd established he would be punished if he purposefully broke the contract, and she was vulnerable because of the claustrophobia. As for Serkan, I also don't ding him for doing it under what might not be considered optimal conditions. He knows how she feels, where her heart is, and she was willingly being very intimate there as she nuzzled into his neck. Also he was right that it definitely distracted her and calmed her down. I think she completely forgot where she was.

That being said, the stones on that guy to kiss her again! I love it. He just smirked through her whole angry tirade, like he knew exactly where she was coming from. She was more putting on an act of being angry, because that's what she thought she should do, than actually being angry. That's the confidence of a man who knows exactly where he stands (for all those who get upset that Eda hasn't told Serkan how she feels, this is proof that he really, really knows). For me, this episode was all about Eda's resolve crumbling, but her not being completely ready to let it go. So each time she found herself enjoying time with him and being vulnerable, she would retreat and try to build back up that wall. And she failed spectacularly every time. I think that's why we saw her go from putty in his hands one minute to evoking the contract the next, back to putty. She's trying to stay strong and not let him in, but she just can't do it and doesn't really want to do it.

While they were at lunch she tried to maintain distance, she was a bit snarky and trying to resist his flirting. But once they finished lunch and were on the balcony, she couldn't even pretend to maintain an air of indifference. She was so pleased when he said that his entire life has been a rainbow since meeting her. No pretense, she couldn't hide it. Nor could she hide her pleasure in him turning off his phone in order to have lunch with her.

Deep down, Eda knows it's only a matter of time until they reunite. I think she just needs to be ready to let go of him breaking up with her before she lets down her walls. But when something happens, she's there. One minute they're engaging in pointed banter about her potential punishment, the next she hears that Aydan is not doing well and she's right by his side. No question, no hesitation. When push comes to shove, they're already a family.

I can just imagine what it does to Serkan to watch Eda be there for his mom. With the agoraphobia I think Serkan took a lot of that burden onto himself, with really only Seyfi to help. That must have felt so isolating. But now Eda is right there with him, and they're a team, he has someone to rely on and share the burden with, it must feel so good.

You gotta hand it to Serkan Bolat with the whole three wishes thing. My dude is ingenious. Instead of being upset that she kept something from him, or being passive aggressive about it, he figures out the course of action that will give him something to flirt with her about and excuses to spend time together. Also it gives him the opportunity to ask for the one thing he wants most from her, unconditional trust. Because once she's there, there will no longer be any reason for their separation. It's pretty much the cornerstone of everything. Not to say she doesn't trust him as a person, she does, but I think she's trepidatious about trusting his feelings for her. Trusting that he won't break up with her again, or go back to that inconsistent behavior that she's talked about several times. It makes sense that there is still lingering emotional fallout from the breakup.

"Are you available?" "For you, always." Oh, sweet, sweet Robot. Enough can not be said about how he can make the smallest interaction into something so romantic. He was equally sweet when having her guess the number one thing that benefits him. You know she just melts inside every time he says something like that, and the harder she tries not to show it, the harder she melts.

One thing I didn't get is Eda being a bit relaxed when it came to trusting Efe. Just the day before she learned that Efe tried to blackmail Selin for her shares, and Eda seemed taken aback at the revelation. However, when they discuss him I don't feel like she validates Serkan's concerns as much as maybe she should. I'm going to chalk it up to Eda being a bit off-kilter from Serkan asking her if she wants to work with him more closely. Perhaps she wants or needs that buffer of working for his partner instead of him, so she's not going to poke holes in her situation just yet, even if she realizes there is reason for concern. I did like that she reassured him that if Serkan trusted her, it would be fine. That seems like it will be key when Babbaan arrives.

Is Eda the cutest when she's jealous? I think she's the cutest. So does Serkan. He was enjoying that so much. And I just about died when she scooted her chair over to where she was almost sitting on top of him. The fact that Balca was Eda's own doing, a consequence of some irrational emotions, makes the whole situation even funnier. Serkan can't be dinged at all for choosing her.

I will be watching TV a long time before I get over the fact that this show found a way to re-enact the scene from Ghost. Thank you writers, producers and creatives! I keep saying that I love how this show rarely misses an opportunity, the shippy content and visuals are second to none. The things this show is able to do on such a tight timeline and I'm sure, budget is impressive. I give most of the credit to the actors and their chemistry, but that was also beautifully shot. What's almost better is when they return to the office all hot and bothered and flustered. These two kids are going to have to fall into bed sooner, rather than later otherwise the sexual tension is literally going to kill them.

Speaking of UST, they wound themselves up again when they decided to slow dance in front of their friends and coworkers. Besides Balca, is anyone in their orbit still wondering what's going on with them? Together? Broken up? In-between? Are they still office gossip, or is everyone just like "Eh, that's just Eda and Serkan" and they're all expecting to come in the office one morning to find that they’ve eloped. Along those lines, where was Ayfer? She gets so upset at the idea of them even talking... did she even notice them draped all over each other having eye-sex while dancing? I mean I didn't want her to have some over-the-top reaction but if she had it would have been in line with how she's been the last few episodes. The final scene was so damn uncomfortable to watch, but I'm very hopeful this storyline is going to clarify a few things for Eda and we’ll reap those rewards. All in all, I really enjoyed this episode, and can't wait for the next two!

#Sen Çal Kapımı #sen cal kapimi #edser #serkan bolat #eda yildiz #sckask #sck episode discussion #edser meta #edser discussion #sck 1x22 #asklizac #Anonymous

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kikiscastleinthesky · 4 years

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THE SOKKASM ZUTARA

I’ve seen a lot of tumblr blogs that ship zutara and I decided that is time for me to open mine too. So, yes, I’m a zutara shipper. And for the time being, my posts are going to be dedicated principally to analyze the ships in ATLA.

Disclaimer alert: I’m not forcing anyone to ship zutara. And I won’t accept hate because I (and many others) may have a different opinion, If you are one of those persons I invite you to leave, don’t waste my time and yours, because I’m not even going to reply. Everyone has the right to ship whatever they like and want, without been mocked, harrassed and humiliated.

Well... now that everything is settled: 3...2...1 go!

I’m starting with this small analysis, because every zutara shipper has been attacked on why zutara and zutara is horrible yada yada but, this ocassion I’m gonna use all the attacks we get and defend it.

I. Zutara is way the worst toxic relationship:

You call Zuko the abuser, the toxic and the bad tempered? Then you didn’t get a clue of his redemption arc.

You call zutara toxic for:

a) giving your mother’s closure and final acceptance into the group?

b) saving each other’s life?

c) being the “leading co-parenting” of the group?

d) support you when you’re about to beg for his uncle forgiveness?

II. The cave scene didn’t mean anything, and just think about it, they would never ever get along well:•

Of course, I misunderstood Zuko confessing his own grief, probably he just hates her.

When Katara opens to her mother sorrow like she never did with anyone was like no big deal.

That part when she offers to heal his scar with SACRED water was totally illogical.

And being the first person who he let touch his scar really said to me that they were absolutely toxic.

Yes, he betrayed her initial trust. And it hurt, but guess who betrayed worst? The man who for three years was his father. But nope, Iroh, should never forgive Zuko, for what he did. (Right? Katara was betrayed and she should bever have interest in him, so Iroh would never forgive his abuser, right?)

III. Zutara is about getting in love with your abuser:

The abuser love? When did Zuko abused Katara? When did he forced to do something she didn’t want? Did he ever physically abused her or sexually assaulted her? Even if he tied her to a tree, he never humiliated her, he never hurt her or overpass against her. Or are you trying to make up his whole plot to eliminate all his attacks towards team avatar only rest in the female character? (Have you forgot how he betrayed his uncle? Or even himself?)

IV. Zutara is an age gap, it would be underage thing. “You don’t like Aang because he is a child and still pair Zuko, being a minor.” You want to hypersexualize two kids (Aang and Katara) into having sexual interest.

Katara would have been dating an underage guy too. She would have been 18 and Aang 16. I know! Age gap only matter when the man’s older. Both Katara and Zuko had gone through puberty, and both were in adolescence, both shared the same maturity level. Yes dude, there a huge difference in being a CHILD and being a TEENAGER, yes, still minor, But with puberty hit already.

Actually, I still believe even being 11-12 you can get like a… spark… a hint. Even if its not a relationship whatsoever, and not having sexual interest of any kind. If you really want to see what closest we get to a “real” attraction and potential between kiddos that age, you get S1Mike and Eleven (stranger things) / you get Chihiro and Haku (Spirited away) / you get Pazu and Sheeta. (The castle in the sky) –Wooo, that really changes things right?

But yet there are people that believe shipping zutara is “pedophile” I thought in seriously not replying to this stupidities but, here I am, dismantling their theories.

So, this is real life. An adult person trying to sleep with a prepubescent kid. So… there is no support on this. Because a ship is about two fictional characters in a fictional story.

What about fictional pedophilia? Well, we can change that: Fictional pedophilia is a psychosexual disorder when you ship an adult fictional character (+18) to have a sexual interest in a fictional prepubescent child (-12) and / or attempt to engage both characters in sexual acts.

So step one… are either Zuko or Katara either an adult or prepubescent child? As you can see in the image at the right, both have gone through puberty. Step two, are you trying to a couple of minors to get sexually involved? No, this is a love story, not porn. And before you yell at me for the porn zutara comics/fics on the web, I guess you should see the porn Kataang /fics comics on the web too.

But I don’t hate any ship. So, technically, neither Kataang, nor Sukka, nor Yukka, nor Jetara, nor Maiko is pedophilia.

Ok, yeah yeah its not pedo, but is statutory rape, so yet it’s illegal.

Oh yes, if we state that 18 is the age where you are considered an adult (at least in my country) both are minors, your term is partially correct. But guess what would be statutory rape too?

Sukka (15) and Maiko (16-17), both implied to have sex relationships and canon during the series.

The episode "The Southern Raiders" became (in)famous among the fandom for what is a truly epic instance of this trope. Zuko bumps into a very flustered Suki on the way to Sokka's tent, and she hurriedly excuses herself. He walks into Sokka's tent to ask him a question and finds him pants-less and surrounded by flowers and candles. He even greets Zuko with a suggestive "Well helloooo..." before he realizes who itis. After a short talk, he rushes Zuko out and sticks his head out to call for Suki. And if there was any doubt, Sokka is shown the next morning fiddling with a flower necklace for no apparent reason... except to indicate that maybe Suki had been “deflowered”.

And yet, if Kataang had sex, it would be statutory sex at some point too: 16 and 18 -Conclusions: Statutory sex takes all ships equally.

V. Poor Aang he would be devastated.

Kid, he’s 12, in the comics he’s 13-14. Or what? Haven’t you guys had a broken heart ever? Your high school sweetie? Or Aang’s so frail to not be able to find love? To close himself for a better opportunity? Seeking your own happiness in not selfish. What is selfish is seeking your own happiness at the other expenses.

And even that, we all know what would Aang do if Katara starts a relationship with Zuko. (Even if it wasn’t Zuko, I highly doubt he would like Katara dating someone else) He would go on avatar rampage. That is NOT healthy, that is NOT romantic. That is extremely possessive and selfish to do. It’s psychotic. Because Aang cares more about himself than Katara’s feelings, even if she would be happier without him.

VI. Zutara is all about sex interest.

Well once more you mistake chemistry with sexual needs. Wanting me to sleep with my husband means I only use him for sex relief? If I find myself sexually attracted to anyone probably means I just want to sleep with that person and nothing else.

VII. A hug is all zutarians have to acknowledge zutara:

We have a complete extended analysis in all the small details, but we like to use that forgiveness hug because in that hug you have more potential that all the kataang scenes all together. We have thousands of complete analyses, pages dedicated exclusively zutara.

VIII. Katara “fell in love with Aang” and it’s not one sided.

Uh... Nope, just because two persons are good friends it doesn’t mean they are a good couple. Yes, the way the both of them interact is absolutely beautiful, But not romantically.

Do we see Katara’s view on romantically being drawn towards Aang? Yes, we see it, and yes, unfortunately, is one sided.

How Kataangers complete this:

· The fortune-teller: I didn’t see like “Wow omg the avatar is going to be my future husband!” But… was like “uh… really?… well, I guess it’s him” Zutarians and Aunt Wu are the base for many backs up theories. ;) Aang is not the only powerful bender you know? And actually, that episode is way trying too hard to demonstrate the crush Meng has for Aang and Aang has to Katara. How is even healthy to accept that sometimes persons don’t like you back and it’s not the end of the world.

· The cave scene: I forgot that Katara is telling him to be her boyfriend and they will live happily ever after. And really, it all gets us to a real Oma and Shu theory. Not to mention that they were “forced” to kiss because their kids innocence believed if they kissed, they wouldn’t die, and that Aang messed up things as well. But if you see it beneath, if she was truly interested, she would have told Aang: “wow omg we kissed, ok. let’s give him a clue…” nothing, she goes back in treating him same as always.

· The headband dance: Well that’s a fair point yes. Actually, I felt something different…unfortunately Katara later had to tell him not to kiss her.

IX. Zutara is because you projected on Katara and had a crush on Zuko, because Katara and Zuko were your favourite characters and because is the bad boy style romance.

My crush was Jet <3, and zutara was the most logical endgame for girls. Ask any girl, ANY 14 yo who would like to date: A high school, nice and handsome guy or a 7th grader that had potential to be her best friend. (See the logic)

And nope is not like “Insert fav characters of the opposite sex to ship them” You need to see real development.

I don’t know why they stereotype Zuko as the “bad boy” – relationship archetype. Zuko is never seen to be the classic fuck boy who treats girls like shit and suddenly there comes a lady to change him. Maybe he is a “bad boy” (confused though) in S1 and S2, but his redemption arc is literally the answer of why he is not “bad boy” anymore.

If Katara was truly and really romantically interested then she wouldn’t have friendzoned Aang. Once? Nope 4 times. And also… are we forgetting kind of imagery…

Friendzoned

When Aang fixes her a small necklace with the fishing thread.

When he kissed her at the invasion. She didn’t reciprocate it. (I’m not even mentioning the mommy proud speech)

When he wanted to talk about the kiss in the western air temple (Comic love is a battlefield)

When he kissed her at the play and she had to told him to back off.

Strange imagery

She was June Pippinpaddleopsokopolis (Aang’s granddaughter)

When Aang got shot, she held his body in her arms in the exact way Mary held Jesus in Pieta’s sculpture.

She was Sapphire Fire. (Aang’s pregnant mother)

After they got married, in the book legacy, she said she enjoyed most seeing Aang becoming a man. (Honestly ladies if I got a BF the least I want is seeing how the kid transforms into a man)

I’m looking forward to watch you grow into manhood as I did to your father (Katara’s letter to Tenzin)

I’m really trying to deny Oedipus complex here.

Still hard for me to track Katara’s love interest for little Aang since all we see is more a relationship mom/sister or Harry/Hermione. I have heard rumours that Bryke wanted to give the ship “mystery” and “expectation” but I think they really messed up, I didn’t see expectation or mystery, I saw a child insisting to a girl that didn’t reciprocate. It wasn’t even like she didn’t have much of a chance, because her love interests:

Was killed by Long Feng

Gave him a hideous mustache and disappeared him after Azula’s attack in the western air temple.

Forced to be attached to a toxic relationship.

Apart that all those points I’ve mentioned, Kataang is not a relationship for me. Staying in a formal relationship with the first person they met of the opposite sex at 14 -12 (guys not even Disney does that, jeez not even studio Ghibli) and not having any chance to experience any other relationship. Never experiencing a broken heart, or someone better. I think that it gives the wrong idea, telling guys that no matter how long they are placed in friendzone, eventually the girl will fall for them. They just have to keep insisting.

You could say, but what a hypocrite! Snow White was 14 years old when she went to live with that prince! Many princesses are 16! And not to mention that many men were the first they met! Like Aurora, Rapunzel, and Cinderella. Well, you are right at one point. But ... the interaction of these characters changes radically, mainly because they never "give cute kisses" to their future husbands, nor do they treat them like their brothers or their children and ... the men were never friendzoned, except for Naveen at the beginning. You see the real attraction of teenage girls with an older boy. And I'm not saying that they should never be friends or support each other. Mulan and Chang were allies, friends, they supported each other, they saved their lives. But at no time was there the kind of interaction Katara and Aang had.

If Kataang was to be endgame, we would see Katara’s reaction to Jet, totally different, THAT kind of reaction was what I was waiting. (That kind of reaction is what every princess do, at least one time)

The same chemistry we saw in Yukka / Sukka. Honestly, I saw more chemistry between Haru and Katara.

Or at least give us some character development like: Aang, I know my feelings where not as you wanted but now I decided I want to be with you because (list everything here except he being the avatar), I really like you, perhaps we can give it a shot. Or like several things that could clue us that she is interested (come on people, two persons can kiss/hug/ have sex and that doesn’t imply they will be together in a formal relationship) But all we got was: Oh, right, he’s the avatar... suddenly I fell for him and I’m gonna kiss him fully in the mouth and that’s how I’ll tell him and that all my confusion has magically disappeared.

X. I’ve never saw that kind of spark between them. Again, it was “Just a hug”

Yes! That’s initially the whole point of it, a friendship hug, the truth of why we don’t need silly blushes. Because that forgiveness hug shows their initial relationship, they are friends! All their love needs to come first from a truthful friendship, by the contrary of calling the “immediate falling” like Aang did for Katara, it shows us that friendship love can evolve into something more beautiful, and that’s why we like the ship, because all zutara shippers know Zuko and Katara wouldn’t fall in love like that all of the sudden, they have to create the romantic relationship, and that’s what we portray in the fics.

What makes Zutara exceptional is that he, sees her, he hears her, he listens what she had to do, at anytime he forced her to do something she didn’t. And before a “teenager adolescence ship” he sees her as a human, with feelings with own ideals and goals.

And there is a complete and extremely well based analysis in: The crossroads of destiny + The southern raiders + The lighting saving.

XI. The comics show us how toxic they really where.

Their interaction in the comics was something I like to call: destroying a character. Not only Katara, who turned to be that awesome badass to the submissive girlfriend. From how I see it in the series to the comics there’s all I have to say: That’s not my girl.

XII. How Katara could be queen of a country that almost aniquilates her tribe and killed her mother? It would be a betrayal.

I think this argument is out. Not valid. Is like saying a Jew can’t date a German because of the holocaust. (German doesn’t mean nazi, just as Zuko, who was from the Fire Nation and didn’t order Katara’s mother assassination, and not every citizen of the fire nation means a ruthless killer). Is like saying that a Japanese can’t date a us citizen because of the bombs in WW2. And even if we see it “political”, is like… an aphrodescendant can’t rule a country that is racist, then Mr. Obama would have never reached the presidency.

Two persons can unify them, because they can demonstrate that being from different country that initally has not good terms can reach peace. The union between those countries represents the power of maturity, of overcoming adversities and the power of forgiveness. *Our lands now connected by love* And I want her to be queen, I want her to rule, I want her in charge, I want her in power. Imagine all the potential she could have (politics, business, negotiations, rebuilding, restoration, education, public health!! ***faints***) Not only for the fire Nation but for the whole world! Imagine that once Zuko abdicated they left to the south pole and she opened a fighting school and a healing school of her own (like master Pakku, but now her students are given a medical license that acknowledges them as professional healers) And this is just an idea. Like these ideas are hundreds. It would have been the perfect feminist role model!

XIII. Since the beginning, Katara was always interested in Aang and she always supported him and was for him when he needed her. That’s proof they were meant to each other.

If a girl expresses faith in your abilities, she loves you, she hugs you, and she supports you clearly she’s completely into you. Because obviously female best friends don’t exist.

#zutara #ATLA #Zutaradefense #Ifyoudon'tlikeitscrollaway #Noreplytohaters #Katarandzuko #Dismantlingtheattacks

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naanima · 4 years

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Joy of Life (庆余年) - Cdrama Rec!!!!

Joy of Life (庆余年) is a Chinese television series based on the novel Qing Yunian (庆余年) by Mao Ni (who has written several popular series). The story is a transmigration series! Yes, a transmigration series. The tv series in the first few mins set up the premise, what if a modern person is sent to ancient China (feudal area) with modern beliefs and morals.

Our main character (Zhang Ruoyun whom I have watched a tonne of series I would normally not watch for) is transmigrated to an alternative universe ancient China in the body of an infant called Fan Xian who is being protected from being assassinated. Yes, people are trying to kill a new born because of his mother. Fan Xian is saved by Wuzhu, the blind folded martial artist who is all protecting Fan Xian, killing anyone who tries to kill Fan Xian, and picking fights. I love Wuzhu, he is one of my favs in the book and show full of awesome characters.

Wuzhu takes Fan Xian to the kid’s grandmother. Fan Xian is the son of the Imperial Secretariat Fan Jian. Fan Xian grows up in an estate with his grandmother, and protected by Wuzhu. At the age of eighteen, Fan Xian is recalled to the capital by his father due to Fan Xian’s impending political marriage with a princess. The princess happens to the illegitimate daughter of the Grand Princess who is in control of the inner treasury or underwear. If Fan Xian was to successfully marry the princess he would become the person in control of the inner treasury, which makes him an extremely popular among all sort of court officials and the Crown Princess and the Second Prince. And hence start Fan Xian’s troubles; assassination attempts, political pitfalls, the princes courting of his power, the Grand Princess’ plans, the emperor’s interests and so much more.

Here ends the basic summary. Now why you should watch this.

The PACING and script of this show is amazing. We can all admit that 95% of Chinese television shows suffer from pacing issues. JoL does not have that problem at all, the script is tight and fast, and actually follows logic. The script is written by Wang Juan, he who write amazing scripts. So, it is fucking great that he has kept up the excellent record of great scripts.

The cast is amazing – I love Zhang Ruoyun, I have watched so much crap for Zhang Ruoyun and have never regretted. Even when the production he is in is mediocre I can still accept it. But beyond zry, the young cast are all excellent, many of them with years of experience in theatre or smaller roles. The older cast are full award winning actors, and let me tell you, there is nothing like watching three old dudes talk and just being drawn in by the ACTING. The sheer amazing master class acting.

The characters – YOU WILL LOVE OR AT THE VERY LEAST BE ENTERTAINED BY EVERY CHARACTER. Fan Xian, our main lead who likes to troll others, is super smart, and just want to live a life of peace and comfort. But what is better than Fan Xian is when he is surrounded by a host of people who often smacks him down for when he is being too much of a smug little shit. Fan Xian’s family are so supportive and hilarious in their own way; there is his stone faced father who loves him dearly, his younger sister who is eager and trust him 100%, his younger brother who only wants to make money not to use it but just because he likes money, his stepmother who isn’t the smartest but once she accepted him would stand in front of him and an incoming army. THEY ARE JUST SUCH A GOOD FAMILY.

There is the Emperor, who is both amazing and fucking terrifying. Here you have an emperor who is in complete control of his empire, and one is forever questioning his motives. The Grand Princess who is playing games, the Crown Prince who always seem a tad behind, and the Second Prince who eats, reads books, and likes to clear out sections of town to eat and wait in peace. They are all amazing and fucking terrifying in their own way.

There is a whole host characters; men, women, old and young, and they are so interesting and even the bad guys you feel sorry for because in many cases they are making decisions based on their environment. And I haven’t even touched on Fan Xian’s helpers, his fiancé (SO ADORABLE).

And yeah, Xiao Zhan is in it, but it is minor role, and I’m not going to say anymore in fear of spoilers.

Other things of awesome:

The action sequences are decent, better than a lot of other tripe that was released this year.

Makeup is not over the top, most of the women are white as snow, but at least still looks human. Yes, Chinese people do have tan.

I like the costumes, they are actually functional. I know a lot has been made about the ugle hair and headpieces in this show, but honestly not any worse than a lot of the other historical stuff.

It is HILARIOUS. I cannot say how funny some of this shit is. I laughed so hard.

Fan Xian’s mother. You don’t see her, but almost person of a certain age and in power has opinions of memories of her and because of her they want to protect Fan Xian.

The POLITICS!!! AHHHH! I LOVE IT! And it really highlights the many various powers in play in an Imperial court. There isn’t just two sides, there is about a hundred sides with different and shifting alliances.

The WOMEN and relationships. Look, I hate about 99% of het romances in c-drama because people become fucking idiots when they fall in love. It is trying and so annoying. Nobody here is dumb about love, yes, Fan Xian loves Wan’er (his fiancé) but he won’t sacrifice ignore wrongs done or doing the right thing just because he is in love. Every woman in this show is different and unique and I fucking love it.

How every person have their own story, just because you are the designated bad guy doesn’t mean there is no good in you. There are several characters in this show that has done horrible horrible things and yet I still felt something when they died. It is good storytelling.

LOOK, PEOPLE. I hardly rec things, I scream about stuff I like, but I rarely make an actual rec post on the things I watch or read because a lot of time they are things I personally find fun but I wouldn’t waste the time writing a rec post. But GODS, WATCH THIS SHOW. It is honestly my top 2019 show, and I for one cannot wait for season 2.

The English subs are on youtube.

Join me so we can scream together.

#Joy of Life 庆余年 #Joy of Life #Joy #庆余年 #cdrama #c-drama #recommended #rec

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tropicalfreckles · 4 years

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Beej?

Anon you’ve opened the floodgates you absolute fool(i’m kidding) OKAY, let me tell you all about what I like about the smelly trash man cause if it wasn’t obvious before with me not being so subtle I have a big crush and enjoy this stupid demon a lot (crush on musical beej specifically of course LAWL)

Why I Like them: OKAY IN ORDER, first movie Beetlejuice. I enjoy he’s a big sleazy asshole that has funny one-liners every time he actually just show up in the movie. He’s a fast-talking con man that acts like a used car salesman and he has a sleazy charm to him. I also enjoy watching Barbara school his ass every time I rewatch the movie, stan movie Barbara y’all she’s a babe and will take you down. I also like to thank Michael Keaton for his performance it was a great one and we all have movie Beej to thank for the other Beetlejuices we got!

Toon Beej! Adorable, a brat, a jerk, a man that would do anything to make a quick buck and he’s gross and such a petty shithead I love him lmao. He can be pure and adorable and nice when he wants to be even if he doesn’t like to show that he has a soft side. Also holy shit all his puns??? YES?? I LOVE PUNS. His jokes, his powers, everything about this middle aged dead ghoul is A+ and ya know what when karma does slap him that’s good too cause he does deserve to get taken down a peg some times lmao. Toon Beej is someone I’d happily be friends with.

now we get to my big ass crush on a stupid, smelly BASTARD OF A BUGMAN

Musical Juice. What don’t I like about him? Besides his dumb ass plan of a green card marriage lmao (I mean movie beej also sleazy af for doing that too). ANYWAYS. What I like. His stupid smile (both blum and brightman just WHY ARE THEY BOTH SO ATTRACTIVE AHHH), his unhinged pansexual disaster energy, who tf is letting this man do coke that is a terrible idea but it gives such hilarious results, the fact that he uses his humor with his trauma he needs to NOT call me out like that lol. I weirdly relate to Musicaljuice like a lot (as someone who struggles with trying not to be petty or get jealous and stuff like that), plus him feeling invisible and lonely also hit home really hard when people in middle school and high school would randomly just drop/ghost me out of the blue. He’s such a chaotic sleaze and I just enjoy his energy and his jokes so much. His dirty humor? Sign me up I keep it clean here folks cause I got another blog for dirty stuff but I like dirty humor when it’s done right lmao. Also dadbod. Dadbod is CHEF KISS. The little things I also enjoy. How he does have an affectionate side (him being just affection/touch starved also coming for the throat cause me too), the fact that he jumped to protect Lydia after she rightfully killed him and he even gave her his cowboy hat as a goodbye present. I thought it was nice of him to yeet out of there cause he did do a lot of bads lmao. I also love how excited he got and the chaotic sibling energy he had with Lydia when scaring. I just really, really enjoy musical Beetlejuice a lot guys.

Sorry I’m such a simp for him lmao

He is my emotional support bastard

Why I don’t: I honestly do not hate his character at all, but, I can criticize his actions. To a degree. I can’t exactly say (ex. Musicaljuice)“Oh no! a demon trying to kill Lydia’s friends and family?? How unexpected!!” he’s a demon he’s gonna do evil-ish things. Which is why I applaud Lydia taking matters into her own hands good kid 10/10. and like movie Juice is a bastard sleazy man of course he’s gonna have a shitty idea as to marry a teenage girl so he can freely do whatever he wants in the world of the living. He never in the final script showed any creepy shit towards her which god I am grateful for I don’t need someone perving on this teenager that’s already having a wild time in her new house. He’s a conman just trying to have a good time but goes about it by crappy means. The petty/jealousy thing can go too far some times (but I chalk that up to musicaljuice’s sad upringing along with not having an positive relationships that we know of in his life to support him) for musical and toon juice (toon juice once again I don’t think had any friends that really understood him when he was alive and when he died so he just does whatever he wants since people already think so little of him before he meets Lydia), however with the proper talking to I think both could improve from it. Like in an analysis way I know these guys are fictional just like character development thoughts. All three have said and or done some things ranging from like small shitty things to problematic obviously. Beetlejuice is a very complex character as a whole. Movie juice obviously not as developed since he’s barely in the film to kind of shroud him in more mystery but that doesn’t mean his motives aren’t intriguing. I don’t want to make this post longer than it already is so that’s just all of my thoughts summarized.

Favorite Episode (scene if Movie): Fav movie beej scene is hard.

His first time meeting the Maitlands, his charades with Lydia, then the ending scene are all so good.

Toon Beej I’m trying to think. Once again I’ve only rewatched like 20+ episodes for the cartoon so it’s hard to pick with limited options. Uhhhh I like the haunted attraction episode lmao also the creepy tree and how he went out of his way to help Lydia move her favorite tree and in the end tried saying something nice to the tree even though eh was annoyed with it the whole episode.

Musical juice that is HARD, Blum and Brightman just own every scene they’re in shit lawl. I really like the evil plan reveal during the séance. The whole being dead pt 1&2 (the guide reprise), say my name, his scenes with the maitlands.

Favorite season/movie: Skip

Favorite Line: NICE FUCKING MODEL!! *honkhonk* (pfft)

also like... everything beetlejuice says in the musical lmao “new phone who dis”

Favorite Outfit: HONESTLY I love every single outfit all three beetlejuices wear. I want the fucking guide hat so badly!!!

OTP:

hahahaAAAHH ah. Well. Ya see here. Let’s go with the first options. Cause of a number of artists on here I’ve been pretty keen on the BeetlejuicexMiss Argentina ship for moviejuice tbh lmao. I like the idea they had an office fling. Musicaljuice and Miss Argentina sounds cute too.

I don’t actively go into the Beetlands tag but I do think the art and idea for it (after a lot of building up trust/consent/and talking) think it can be a super cute poly ship! I like.

I don’t really ship Toon Beej with anyone tbh.

so now into the self indulgent shit lmaaoo

I love people’s ocs/self inserts with the Bugman a lot and I myself super hardcore ship my oc Leilani and musicaljuice. I... maye have drawn self insert art I have no posted here out of being shy but it’s on another blog that will stay hidden lmao. I don’t normally post self insert stuff of myself cause man I can draw it easily for other people but when it comes to myself I am shy.

I mean I’m writing a fic for beej and lani as we speak and you all know by now if you’ve been following me for the past couple of months I’ve drawn a handful of doodles plus commissioned numbnutspo to draw my self indulgent ship lawl

BROTP: The obvious for toon and musicaljuice is Lydia Deetz of course. Chaos siblings. Also I have a BROTP of my demon oc Antares with musicaljuice too. Dumb demon bros.

Unpopular Opinion: TBH Idk if I have one. I like to think there’s a resounding hiss @ the ship that shall not be named lmao.

A Wish: Same wish I had for Lydia’s ask, I wanna see the musical live REAL BADLY. I also wish I could tell the cast/crew of the musical how much it has helped me get through this shitty year and how it legit just revived my passion for drawing again. I got to meet a lot of people through the musical and made some new friends. Plus I’m actually making money off my art now???

An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen: I wanna forget that clean beetlejuice from that one episode of the cartoon exists lmao it scares me (I mean I wouldn’t object to musical juice to taking a fucking bath or brushing his teeth but let’s be real that ain’t happening)

5 words to best describe them: Bastard, Unhinged, Handsome, 1-Brain Cell, Huggable

My nickname for Them: I mean when I refer to him or write fics it’s always Beej, BJ, Bugman, Bug, Bastard Man, Smelly Trashman, Garbage Man, Lawrence, the list goes on lawl

and now I have aired out more of my stupid obsession with this dumb demon

edit: I FORGOT HEADCANONS

OKAY HEADCANONS. Musical juice is definitely the oldest of the three, (in dead terms too, in alive terms he was ony alive for like less than 3 minutes or something), I love musicaljuice pansexual/genderfluid so much. I have a bunch but my mind is like blank rn for the rest shit sorry but I added those in at least

also I like the funny headcanon toon juice is taller than keatlejuice and musicaljuice

I also like the headcanon for autistic beetlejuice (as someone who is also autistic)

#asks #long post #anon #beetlejuice #musical beetlejuice #asks game #Anonymous

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happilysherry · 3 years

Text

People often question dating apps and website and thereby have an assumption established in their minds that YOU CANNOT FIND ANYTHING SERIOUS HERE!

Well I’m here to tell you, maybe its not true. Maybe, I can change your mind about it.

Let’s take a walk down my memory lane and go back to December 2019.

Corona was still a small talk in the town and everyone was living their usual lives, at least here in India ( I don’t know much about other countries, so please don’t judge/hate me for that)

I started using Tinder and was meeting people, some were good, some were amazingly smart and with some I just could not connect and after one month of swiping left and right I matched with a guy. His profile seemed lively yet mysterious. I was drawn to him, we talked, we chatted, we videocalled each other and this went on for approximately a month and that’s when we decided to meet each other.

Feb 10 2020

It was the day when I first met him. He was probably the most beautiful person I have seen in my entire life, he was funny, smart and poetic and I was so attracted to him that I turned the blind eye to all the toxic shit he was doing to him, I failed to see that my face had lost the smile it used to have, I failed to feel what being playful feels like. He used to just talk to me whenever he wanted to sexted and apart from that he never showed any interest in any of my talks the way he used to do during the initial days, yet I was letting him trap me with him more and more.

And one day, he was gone! Just like that. 21 march 2020 was the day when he decided to call of everything we had, we shared in that past one month. He called me desperate and needy for attention and love. He made me feel guilty to feel the need of getting loved and cared for.

Which now I know is nothing I should be ashamed of. Everyone deserves to be loved and taken care of by the person they come home to everyday.

Fast forwarding to April End

22 April 2020

I was talking to a guy on Instagram (we origninally had matched on tinder and started talking but later on realised that he lives 580 kms away from my hometown) he told me about his choice of songs, his playlists, his weird fetishes, his fav snacks, his fav pieces of poetry and his list of cheesy lines from the most cheesy romantic movies/books.

Talking to him made me feel that as If i was talking to someone who is a south pole to my north pole of magnet. Totally Opposite!

We talked and talked for days about everything you can imagine.

Based on my previous experience, I chose not to trust him because it might end up in a few weeks and I might end up getting hurt again.

But things and conversations went on and on for a few days and again, chats turned into secret calls, midnight video calls, sending each other cheesy quotes and pins about “Best Friends”.

Fast forwarding to today. 18-02-2021

We have met each other for over 100 times. He is serving military so he comes to my house whenever he gets a leave. His and my family have the same hometown, he is just posted in a different city so has to live there.

We have met each other’s family and our families have met too!

We are planning our engagement and marriage next year.

I know it all sounds like a dream.

You might even say that this is happening way too fast.

Maybe it is, but I dont care, we dont care.

We love each other and are independent enough to sustain the responsibilities that come with a maggiage.

I found my soulmate in him. With him I can be my crazy, goofy self without being guilty of being needy of love. In fact with him I don’t even feel desperate or scared. With him I realised that you don’t fall in love. You fly high in love.

Love makes you a better human, happier human and most importantly it makes you strong. It gives you a hope for everything good that you deserve, when two people are in love, they live on, live in the form of the positive energies that they made with their love, with your presence and that those people leave behind after they are gone.

It’s beautiful

Apart from the fact that you can actually find your love on dating sites Tinder, I’m here to tell you that Long distance also work!

You just need to give your love and loyalty to that person. You have to work to gain their trust and they have to do the same.

If you guys remember I told you that he is posted in a city 580 kms away from my hometown, so yeah we are working hard everyday(in our individual lives as well our relationship)to get to the dream we have seen together.

At last I wanna say that

People often say that you cannot love someone until you learn to love yorself first, but his love made me forget what hating myself felt like.

So guys, believe in love. You might find it in the most unexpected manner. Iknow you will. And that is when you will not fall in love, You’ll fly in love. <3 <3

#love #lovestory #datingapps #tinder #storytime #midnightstory #happylovestory #story #india

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in-tua-deep · 5 years

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While genetically the Boy and Five are the same there has to be an aspect of nature vs nurture. So how do the two differ? Does the Boy want his own name and not simply a gender or does he want a name to symbolize becoming part of a family? Do the two of them react to situations differently? I love this AU so much and I need more!

(for more commission boy au/clone five au check out the previous posts on it one, two, three, four, five)

oh absolutely they’re as different as they are similar - even identical twins raised together are different people, after all! And that’s identical genes (like Five and Boy share) and similar upbringings ;3c

they’re both traumatized in very different ways (with overlapping similarities, like both of them don’t trust strangers/adults they don’t know as they’re both used to adults only wanting to use them/cause them pain)

Five is fucked up about the apocalypse. Fucked. Up. He still has minor meltdowns over what if the apocalypse happens today despite them having stopped it. Probability maps are scrawled across the walls in whatever was closest at hand when Five’s brain went into meltdown mode

The Boy doesn’t use math as a crutch like Five does (or as a way of keeping his mind busy, or as a self soothing habit, or anything else) because he wasn’t allowed to write on,, pretty much anything. He had to give verbal reports. After Five’s whole “hide my equations and plans from the commission by writing them in secret in a book” thing, they didn’t trust the Boy with any kind of planning materials. The only reason he knows how to write is because he pretty much taught himself, tracing letters with his fingers in the dust or on steam covered mirrors tbh

(his handwriting is. atrocious. borderline illegible. he really struggles writing with a pen or pencil but can fingerpaint letters/numbers just find. it’s a work in progress and on god five is going to get his little clone as fast as five himself is at writing shit on walls)

the Boy is still a little math prodigy but he’s only done enormous mental equations, which he is very good at!! but it’s definitely limited him (so he wasn’t capable of doing the complex time equations that Five figured out)

The Boy and Five present their nerves about new situations very differently - the Boy goes small and quiet and anxious whereas Five deals with it by going on the aggressive and yelling. This is because the Boy is way more afraid of punishment/rejection than Five is and is more unsure of his position in the family and his default is “obey, do what they say regardless of how you feel just power through it or face the consequences”.

Meanwhile Five’s default was ‘rebel, yell, bring attention to himself because if the spotlight was on him then it was off his siblings’ which is depressing in its own way. The Boy didn’t have siblings to protect, he was alone. Five himself probably wouldn’t have drawn attention to himself if there wasn’t anyone to protect, but there was and he did. He bristles like an offended cat and yells

(but tbh, Five doesn’t actually expect anyone to actually listen to him. both him and the boy learned a long, long time ago that their opinions didn’t matter to the adults, that they might as well not be saying anything at all. The Boy went quiet. Five got louder.)

The Boy is definitely more willing to embrace childish things than Five is, because Five feels he has to protect his reputation and prove that he isn’t a kid

and if there’s some residual trauma there of children vs. adults where Five is fairly convinced that status as an adult offers him some measure of protection against people like Reginald and the Handler, there’s always that. But Five is also probably more willing to be one of “the children” if that means the Boy isn’t alone as the only child because Five’s “protect” instincts overpower his “self preservation” instincts tbh

the Boy is really enthusiastic about things when he thinks he allowed to be (so basically when he’s around Five bc he sees Five as an ally - though he’s getting better around the other siblings without five as a buffer)

his favorite movie is lilo and stitch no you can’t change my mind. it’s the movie he plays constantly as a comfort thing that he never gets tried of. If this was in the era of VHS he would have worn out the tape. Why??? because the boy points at the screen and is like “!! i’m an experiment as well!” and then watches this little blue alien find a family for himself and he’s like “it me!”

…does that make Five the Lilo in this?? possibly. Allison says that it’s more like the Boy is Lilo and Five is Stitch considering Five is the chaos gremlin between the two of them but whatever

(“This is my family. I found it, all by myself. It’s little, and broken, but still good. Yeah, still good.”)

I keep wanting to say the Boy is more skittish than Five but that’s?? not quite true? they’re both skittish and don’t trust easily and cling to the idea of family but in different ways idk like the end goal is the same but they take very different paths to it u know what i mean?

i think the Boy probably does eventually get a different name. Maybe not a name-name since the Boy’s idea of what a name is?? is kind of skewed? like his fav character is Stitch and his brother is Five and he was raised by someone names the Handler like this kid was never gonna have a normal name let’s be real

honestly he probably ends up stuck with something like. Kiddo. Because i HIGHLY doubt the family actually calls him ‘boy’ and in absence of an actual name to call him by end up with nicknames and to differentiate him from Five “Old Man” Hargreeves they probably call him kid and kiddo

i’m thinking about differences and similarities between them again hmm

Five is definitely more assertive?? Five can read the Boy really well (and vice versa) and tends to act as the Boy’s spokesperson when the Boy isn’t comfortable or something. Usually it’s just Five cutting in abruptly like “back off idiot he wants a ham and cheese sandwich not whatever the fuck that is”

the Boy is more likely to approach an issue with violence whereas Five tends to swear and yell and threaten as a first step. Where’s that one meme?? the Boy is “stabs without warning” and Five is “warns (loudly) before stabbing”

the Boy is arguably more deadly than Five since he’s been trained in assassination since basically infancy where Five was taught to be a hero which are arguably very different skillsets (the Boy was never taught about minimizing casualties or saving anyone rip) BUT Five is more experienced and has arguably more creativity than the Boy.

Five is a lot more playful in his fighting because he was because when he was little, fighting was playing. That’s how Five and the other umbrella academy kids bonded - by beating the tar out of one another and outdoing each other. They showed off for each other. The Boy is more straight forward because to him, fighting is a job to get over with as soon as possible

ironically it’s five who has to teach the boy to play, and not the other way around. Jump Tag is a favorite between the two where they just zoom through the house trying to catch each other - Five is a lot better at jumping than the Boy since the Boy wasn’t permitted outside of missions and training, but he’s catching up quick (after all, Five did take a brief 45 year hiatus because his powers burned too many calories in the apocalypse, but it’s a bit like riding a bike in that he never forgot)

even so Five is NOT the person to teach others to play because his childhood was messed up as all fuck

so it’s probably claire that really teaches them how to play

Claire is a well adjusted kid whose confidence, unlike Five’s, is not faked. She has adults she knows, loves, and relies upon. She has healthy relationships with peers. She goes to public school and knows and is friendly with a lot of different people.

So this like, 8-year-old walks in and meets her two skittish emotionally immature uncles (cousin? depends on if they consider the boy to be five’s brother or son) who don’t know fuck all about anything and is like “ah yes. i am your big sister now. i am in charge here.”

and while Five at least rails against the “big sister” charge, neither of them really protest Claire taking charge?? they’re both very willing to follow along behind her tbh neither of them are leadership material and they both know it. they’re probably both very protective of her

if claire is ever bullied god help whoever chose to pick on her bc Five is absolutely willing to maul a middleschooler and the Boy would be right behind him

well i mean. Five is a follower but he’s a little bitch about it, you know? like he’s willing to go with whatever but also if it’s a dumb idea then fuck you. So he’s confrontational with his siblings but if they were ever like “okay then five you take charge” he would be like “oh no. nuh uh. i’m not taking responsibility over all you idiots my blood pressure would go through the ROOF.”

Five loudly declares that Claire is way more sensible and sane than any of the rest of his family so she’s the only one he’ll take real orders from.

(and then Grace walks in and Five will absolutely listen to her as well and not just because the Boy is lowkey scared of Grace and Five is trying to set a good example - as much as he’s capable of setting a good example)

i feel like i’ve talked about their different issues with food, where Five hoards, is food aggressive, and will eat everything whereas the Boy is used to bland nutrition bars and sludge with everything he needs for the day so his issues are more him not knowing what the fuck anything is, being iffy about any strong tasting foods/spices, struggling with eating outside of allotted food times/getting his own food

there’s a whole post about their differences in nightmares/how they deal with those floating out there somewhere

their fashion sense definitely differs in their own ways? The Boy accepts anything he’s given with no questions and has no style of his own where Five tends towards what Klaus calls “hobo chic” in that he discards clothes he deems not useful to survival. You won’t catch Five in ripped jeans or tight pants that restrict mobility (though admittedly tight restrictive clothing would make the Boy uncomfortable as well but he’ll wear what he’s given with no questions)

both boys struggle with capitalism in that there’s Way Too Many Options for things that are dumb. It’s really overwhelming for them both when they’re sent to the store for like, toothpaste and have to enter an aisle with a bajillion different options for one (1) whole thing

OH the Boy doesn’t shoplift. Five frequently shoplifts because his idea of possessions are “it’s in my hand or in my claimed space/room/etc. it’s mine” regardless of the passage of money whereas the Boy’s idea of possessions is “nothing belongs to me ever” and they’re still working on both of those things

they’re both kind of wary around animals because neither are used to them or know what to expect from them. Mr. Pennycrumb is a therapy dog and no one can convince me otherwise and both boys are instantly smitten with him (but they’re still kind of iffy around like. big dogs that bark. or horses. fuck horses they’re scary motherfuckers.)

the Boy doesn’t like bugs very much after living in the very sterile Commission science rooms but Five will literally pop a wolf spider in his mouth for a snack so yEAH they both have. very different perspectives on that. The Boy is absolutely horrified and the first time he witnesses this hides behind Klaus for half a day because what the FUCK FIVE while Five is unapologetic

they protect each other and support each other and figure things out together bless

it’s secretly a very wholesome au behind the horror of the commission cloning five and training a small child to be a murder machine

#Ask Me #anonymous #the commission boy au #tua au #tua #the umbrella academy #far tua long #long post #five hargreeves #number five #klaus hargreeves #they're similar in some ways #wildly different in others #it's a journey lmao #claire hargreeves #tua claire #claire is the boss and the boys respect that

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violentviolette · 4 years

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So I was on your fandom blog and I saw that you believe Bakugou (at least in assuming) to have ASPD. Is wondering if you could expand on that? I personally see him as NPD but I'd love to hear your side of things

first off anon bless u for being on my fandom blog that takes courage cause it’s a wicked hot mess over there lol and secondly to everyone else yes im about to spend an embarrassing amount of effort overanalyzing an anime man, no u shouldn’t apply this logic to diagnosing real people u don’t know or urself, no its not that deep but yes u can fuck right off if u wanna cry about me headcanoning ur favs with “shitty” illnesses. eat my dick.

But now down to the good shit! So I actually think bakugou has comorbid aspd/npd. But for this since u said u already see him as having npd I’ll just focus on the aspd criteria but im totally down to talk more about npd as well if u wanna. (the rest is under a cut because frankly mobile users would have drawn and quartered me otherwise)

So first im gonna go thru the dsm v criteria that are required for diagnosis that bakugou fits/exhibits (leaving out the few things that don’t pertain to him just for length and also because not every person has to fit every single criteria to qualify)

1. Significant impairments in personality as manifested by

a. identity (self esteem derived from power, pleasure, or personal gain), self direction (goal setting based on personal gratification, absence of prosocial standards and culturally normal ethical behavior)

katsukis entire sense of self is built upon his ability to “win” and to always be number one and come out on top. He absolutely cant stand to be viewed as less than that because if so, his entire sense of self begins to crumble. Part of the reason he’s so antagonistic towards Izuku in the early chapters is the fact that Izuku challenges that identity. He (unintentionally and intentionally) challenges katsuki and wont give way to him (which is the right thing to do, but we see how “well” katsuki handles that). He also doesn’t have a good sense of “prosocial standards.” katsuki has created his own internal sense of morals and values, he’s decided whats worth his time and effort based on his own opinions and not on what society deems worthwhile behavior. He’s constantly getting admonished that his attitude “isn’t that of a hero” because his values are different than the ones of the society around him. But he doesn’t care, as long as he “wins” then everythings good. And its not until he stops “winning” and his behavior begins to get in the way of his goals does he begin to realize that he has a problem.

b. impairments in interpersonal functioning as manifested by lack of empathy (lack of concern for feelings, needs, or suffering of others) and lack of intimacy (incapacity for mutually intimate relationships, use of dominance or intimidation to control others)

I could frankly write a whole essay about just this bit alone but I’ll try to condense my thoughts. So. Lets talk about katsukis lack of empathy. This boy wouldn’t know another person’s emotions if they walked up and punched him in the face. Which they do. On multiple occasions. But I digress. Katsuki is known for his shitty bedside manner, his lack of concern for the feelings of others is literally what cost him his provisional license, but aside from with Izuku (who we’ve established is a source of Baggage for katsuki and shouldn’t be counted among his normal behavior because at the start of the series they BOTH bring out the worst in one another and overcoming that is part of both of their character arcs and growth and a main theme of the damn story. Win and save. Save and win. Ahem. But again I digress) katsuki isn’t vindictive or cruel in an unnecessary way about other peoples emotions. He doesn’t use them against people, it just doesn’t occur to him that they exist. But as we see katsuki grow and begin to try and change his unhealthy behavior, we see that he’s not oblivious of others emotions in the same way todoroki is (who I headcanon as autistic along with izuku (who also has adhd), but that’s a whole nother post lol), he just doesn’t know what to do with them. He can handle things like kirishima feeling insecure, because he can logically talk to him about how strong he is to encourage and support him, but really struggles with more intimate and open forms of emotional support, like with Izuku.

He also struggles with forming prosocial bonds and friends. At the start of the series katsuki doesn’t have friends, he has lackeys he controls with intimidation and fear because he doesn’t know any other way to be. He has trust and intimacy issues and doesn’t like people getting too close to him because he feels displays of vulnerability are what makes someone weak (see those asocial morals and values we talked about earlier). After his time at UA, a few large helpings of some humble pie, and the diligent and hard work of a small group of fearless idiots (aka kaminari whose literally too prosocial for his own good and has zero self preservation instincts, and kirishima who has an endless supply of patience and understands empathy and other peoples emotions to a degree that’s baffling to me) he is able to start deconstructing that idea and realizing that u can be vulnerable and let people close to u and still be strong. That the mortifying ordeal of being known isn’t actually the worst things ever. Also that when confronted with people who aren’t actually afraid of him, he doesn’t know how else to deter them from getting close to him. The fact that none of the other kids in 1-A take katsukis shit and even go so far as to pick on him and mock him and call him out on his bullshit is a MAJOR turning point for his socialization skills.

2. pathological personality traits in the following catagories

a. antagonism, characterized by hostility (persistent and frequent angry feelings, anger or irritability in response to minor slights or insults, nasty mean vengeful behavior), callousness (lack of concern for the feelings and problems of others)

I mean. Do I even have to expand on this point? I feel like no

b. disinhibition, characterized by impulsivity (acting on the spur of the moment in response to immediate stimuli, acting without a plan or consideration for outcomes, difficulty establishing and following plans), risk taking (lack of concern for ones limitations and denial of the reality of personal danger, engaging in potentially risky and self-damaging activities without regard for consequences)

this is a criteria where u have to adjust for the world these characters are living in. but even then, by hero standards, katsuki is still impulsive. His teachers are constantly admonishing him in the early series for charging headfirst into a situation, loosing himself to his emotions and anger, and letting things get the better of him because hes not taking the time to properly assess the situation, this also bleeds into katsukis inability to work with others or ask for help. He charges headfirst into a situation by himself, blows up anything in his way, and then asks questions later. His teammates are often left totally in the dark to his plans, motives, or other moves and have to just play catch up to him the entire time. In the deku vs. kacchan 1 fight we see this behavior come out in full force. He has no plan, he blows up half the building with zero regard for their goals, and leaves iida completely in the dark. Momo pointing this all out and dragging him for filth during the recap is another wakeup moment for him, having to confront the realities of his impulsive and negative behavior whereas before he was only praised for it.

so if we take a look at even just that, which is still about ¾ of the diagnostic criteria, I think u can see where this really starts to explain his personality. Katsuki is hot headed, angry, impulsive, stubborn, selfish, he gets in his own way more often than not, he struggles with prosocial behavior, making friends, and relating emotionally to others. He has a hard time comforting people and usually does so in a blunt and logical way, he isn’t great at sympathy and being soft, kind, or gentle with other people. It takes a considerable amount of effort for him to realize where his world view and his morals and goals are warped and doing him more harm than good, and he absolutely cant stand to be vulnerable or honest about his feelings with others.

All those things, imo, as someone with aspd & npd, are what make me feel like hes a good character representation of what the complexities of living with these disorders is like. Katsuki isn’t inherently a bad person, and as we see him grow and change, we see the ways in which hes becoming better, but its still hard for him. And despite what a lot of fandom thinks, if u look at the canon, the main person katsuki hurts with his behavior is himself. And I think that’s really important because people with aspd & npd are so often catagorized as abusive villians whose only goal in life is to hurt others. Whereas with katsuki we see where these things and this kind of thinking gets in the way of his goals and ultimately hurts him. and thats what I think makes him the most relatable and makes his growth all the much more satisfying. Katsuki is both fundamentally the same and an entirely different person from when we first meet him. his personality didn’t magically completely change, hes not just a tsundere whose suddenly all mushy feely and hyper empathetic, he’s just learning how to deal with his emotions and the world and getting better at being a healthy person.

So yea, those are my thoughts! There was apparently a whole 1600 words of them so my apologies for writing u a literal dissertation on this lol I just really love this fucking character

#bakugou katsuki #katsuki bakugou #bakugou headcanons #bakugou katsuki headcanons #bnha headcanons #jack.speaks #anon #god i really did write a novel #im almost ashamed #almost

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