#i goddamn love sam/ruby
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How do you think Sam felt about having sex with Ruby’s vessel? Did he need to rationalize that to himself or just the fact that Ruby was a demon?
this is such a delicious ask, i'm sorry it's taken me a while to get to.
there's just so much going on when it comes to sam/ruby. i draw a lot from comments from others on this, specifically those who are more familiar with the production and things the producers have said over the years in interviews. two things i've read as insights from the creative team (i think mostly from sera gamble?) are that:
it was important to sam that ruby's vessel was empty, otherwise that sex wouldn't/couldn't have happened (i think sera gamble had to fight for this or push its importance to her male co-creatives?)
sleeping with ruby was a form of "self harm" for sam.
I'm not sure where/how to find the original sources for those quotes as they're secondhand things I've read on tumblr about things said at cons and through other sources, but I fold both into my read on how Sam felt about having sex with Ruby and with her vessel.
So - to answer your actual question -
he felt like shit about it. and continued to feel like shit about it. and continued to do it. because he was in an incredibly self-destructive space and continued to be, and that self-hatred manifested in this particular way, for a variety of reasons.
And to unpack that a bit more...
1. sam has been possessed (by meg). he knows how it feels, and it Does Not Feel Good. his body was used to hurt people he cares about, to kill.
2. sam is consistently concerned about possessed vessels, where practicable. in the precinct seige during Jus In Bello, the fact that the "kill the virgin" spell could blast the demons out of the many possessed people outside is important to him. where dean reads the situation as killing an innocent woman, sam reads it as saving a few dozen people (at the cost of one, rather than the potential cost of many others if they try to shoot their way out). neither perspectives are singularly right but their different perspectives are informed by their different experiences, imo.
3. sam is saved by ruby wearing her 1.5 vessel and he promptly berates her for wearing some poor woman's skin, even if she saved his life, tells her that he doesn't want her help, and to get out of the car. he literally leaves her by the side of the road.
4. ruby 2.0 shows up with a certificate to verify that her chosen vessel is empty except for her. sam does not argue nor slam the door in her face, but asks for details. it's a major shift from one scene to the next in terms of how he is responding to her.
i'll also note that sam didn't complain about her 1.0 vessel's occupant during the time they were getting to know one another, which i think is interesting. my personal read is that sam considered that acceptable collateral damage in order to save dean from hell (what ruby promised him in season 3), and that after she failed to deliver, this compromise he'd made with himself over that collateral damage was no longer in play, nor was his patience for her.
(side note: i wonder if sam's greater tolerance of crowley, eventually, is because he came to learn or understand at some point that crowley's vessel is similarly empty?)
anyway, bringing all those points together, my read is that sam had to do a lot of self-rationalizing when it came to sleeping with ruby's vessel. sam is nothing if not pragmatic (if unhinged and insane) in his approach to dilemmas, so i think he could and did rationalize to himself that the body being empty means he's not hurting anyone by having sex with ruby in that form, but i don't think he'd fully convince himself.
so the discomfort and guilt and self-loathing would be... intense. she's a demon. demons killed his mother, his father, his brother. everyone he's ever loved. she saved his life. he doesn't trust her, he can't trust her. he can't afford not to trust her. he's got nothing left to lose. the only thing he has left is the part of himself that's stayed on the straight and narrow, that respects dean's dying wish, that refuses to turn into whatever his family (his brother) tried (died) to save him from becoming.
(sam himself lies to dean and says "it was practically your dying wish" that he not do exactly he's been doing (and more). sam knows there's betrayal here, and it's a betrayal that matters to him personally, or else he wouldn't hide and lie about it. he's never had any issue picking fights if/when he thinks he has the moral high ground.)
so... yeah. sleeping with ruby is an act of self-harm. he's obviously attracted to her vessel, and to her personality as ruby in that vessel, but that's not the key point. the key point is he hates himself for failing to save dean, for his brother dying because of him and being in hell because of him, and he's literally suicidal at this point in the narrative.
the fact that her vessel is empty is incredibly important, and i think a line he couldn't cross otherwise, but that doesn't mean he's okay with the fact that he's actually having sex with the body of someone who hasn't consented. and there's no doubt in my mind that somewhere in the back of his mind is both the fact that he's been possessed and has had his body used for things he was Not Okay with, and the fact that he's been dead (an empty vessel) and it's not like he would have been okey dokey with a demon possessing his corpse and sleeping with someone.
he knows it's a violation, no matter which way he slices it. and he uses that fact to hate himself a little more, so that the very act of sleeping with ruby is, in a sense, a way to punish himself for:
a) being attracted to her as a demon,
b) being attracted to her (helpless, innocent) vessel,
c) wanting connection because he's so goddamn lonely, and
d) being a monster/freak in the first place.
these are either things he's not supposed to feel because they're sinful wrong (attraction to a demon or vessel), or he deserves them (loneliness, feeling like a freak). this is what he's convinced himself of, and therefore how ruby acts as a both balm and escape (how it feels, how she soothes him) and punishment (how he deserves the influx of self-loathing and guilt and shame that comes from all that he is doing with her, from how this verifies all the worst parts of himself he was afraid of).
that being said -- as it goes i think he suppresses those feelings more and more because of what he gets from being with her, the connection and the blood and the high and the power and the sense of control over his destiny. but it's never that far from the surface, and we know how all that goes.
#oh my god this got both long and like... really unhappy about sam/ruby and his mental state during that arc#read at your own risk#sam/ruby#like that being said none of this is anti or crit#i goddamn love sam/ruby#but it is... deeply toxic#and very unhealthy for him#which is kind of the whole point#meta#my meta#a bit overwrought but i'm out of time to reread edit so here we are
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what do you think people would say about supernatural/the winchesters relationship if sam was female?
Realistically, I think Sam being a woman would have given the show itself free rein to be So Much Fucking Weirder towards her. I know this ask is mostly about the fandom’s reaction, but I need to set the basis that, given everything we know about how the show already is, Supernatural would have taken the Sam Experiencing Sexual Violence dial that is already at 9 and cranked that baby up to 20 and left it there for the whole run. And also, given everything else we know about the show, every time Dean ribs about Sam being gay in canon would either 1) stay that way but now have the extra layer of “Dean is really into watching girls fuck” on top of it to make it weird or 2) would just flat out be replaced with Dean hitting on Sam/insinuating something along the lines of ‘why would u ever want another guy? when I am here and all u need?’ because Dean is already a creep obsessed with his brother, can you imagine how it would’ve been written if he had a baby sister instead? Homophobia was the only thing holding the show back from flat out incest sometimes, I swear to god.
Okay, so. Now that I have established All Of That.
For one, we have to take into account how the fandom tended to react to female characters in general. Let’s see the forecast is uh. Bad. We are looking at huge divides between the “Sam is cool, we like her” and the “Sam is a bitch and the show should just be about Dean” crowds. (And the third crowd of “Sam should fuck her brother 😩”, absolutely wincest would still be a thing. It might be even more of a thing in this universe, but that’s all speculation.) Especially when s4 rolls around and Sam decides to be a little evil (and have a girlfriend? I’m assuming everything else in the show goes as is, and so would the Ruby plotline. Which means that’s going to awaken even more things in people than it already does. I would have stopped functioning if I saw girl!Sam/Ruby blood drinking and fucking on my screen as a preteen do you have any idea-) People are going to villainize the shit out of her for that, never let it go.
(Now, as the fandom ages, a lot of this is gonna simmer down like it did for real for characters like Bela. But in the moment? A goddamn war zone. Toxic waste dump.)
And we need to talk about the elephant in the room. Destiel. We already exist in a world where Sam will be completely sidelined and erased to get Dean and Castiel’s love story to seem like the most important plot of Supernatural. Now, I want you to imagine the absolute hell that would be to exist in a fandom where Destiel is the big slash ship and the other main character of the show is a woman. At best, continued sidelining. At worst, we are looking at “Sam is a bitch and the show should be about dean only” attitudes that carry forward into “Sam is a bitch who is in the way of destiel and should be killed off to get her out of the way.” Which you may note is usually a role given to female love interests that are despised for breaking up the main ship. This is because, for all intents and purposes, Sam is the main love interest in competition with Castiel for Dean. On a fandom level between ship wars of destiel vs wincest, but also textually, in the show, beyond shipping, Sam fills out that role in a platonic way as well and Castiel doesn’t. If Sam was a woman, this spells bad news for her. No woman gets in the way of gay ships and comes out unharmed.
Okay and now let’s talk about Lucifer because we need to talk about Lucifer, I’m a Lucifer blog, I’m a samifer girl, and I can tell you that none of these things would change for me if I was watching this version of the show lol. But! Remember what I said about the Sam Sexual Violence dial? Yeah. That is going to be. Extremely loud. Every time Sam and Lucifer are in the same scene. I guarantee you this is the universe where we get evil forced Samifer kisses at multiple points. This is absolutely the universe where, when Lucifer decides he wants a kid, he tries to get Sam pregnant first and only if he fails does he move onto someone else (and hint: he probably doesn’t fail.) Think about every Sam & Lucifer scene that ever happened and now reimagine it but the show can now be as weirdly sexually violent as it feels like because it’s “straight” now. The innuendos are out, and Lucifer is going to pin Sam against a wall at some point.
I’m very into this, but I feel like this would make the whole fandom situation around them a lot worse. People already get up in arms around samifer, or even liking Lucifer at all. If all that subtext became flat out text and people could gif “Times Lucifer sexually assaulted Sam on screen” into little gotcha compilations, it would be way more of a struggle to exist around here.
But like I’d still be into it so I’d definitely still be here, give me those comps, I’m gonna jerk off to them
ANYWAY. That’s what I think would change if Sam was a lady. Overall, not great, but I think there would also be a lot of people who find her relatable, empowering, etc, and really enjoy her as a woman. Probably the same people who like Sam now, honestly. If there’s any universe I got a chance to peak into, I’d want it to be this one. If only for samruby canon lesbian sex.
#ask#i just feel like a lot of supernatural’s punches around certain topic were pulled because going all in would be too gay#and I think it’s better for it. a lot more subtle.#but if Sam was a girl it would not be that at all it would be full in on the incest and rape im serious#speaking of#tw noncon#tw incest#spn#sam winchester#lucifer spn#dean winchester#wincest#samifer
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I'm rewatching s4 of spn and I have to say i just really don't like Sam. I know he is being manupilated by ruby and I do love him and all that but goddamn is he really annoying. When Dean has to go torture Alastair Sam is like eh i don't care that he has to face the person he is most afraid of and do something that is torture for him to do, I just think he is weak and not good enough, and I am so much better. These thoughts weren't just simply put there by Ruby, he had to be thinking this already. And don't even get me started on the facial expressions like girl what are you so pissed about.
#sam winchester#i love him but this is not his brightest moment#dean winchester#spn#supernatural#destiel#sam winchester slander
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for the ask game: 6, 12, 14 and 17!
HI JUDE!!!
This ask game
6. Favourite dynamic outside the brothers
Sam and Cas for sure, like goddamn he lifted Dean out of hell. I have rewatched their first scene together so many times. “What’s the matter, you don’t think you deserve to be saved” that’s more intimate than sex actually. We don’t need them to open mouth kiss on the show we got that scene as their fucking meet cute.
12. Favourite season of Sam
I love Sam in every season but especially season 1-7 which are the seasons I’ve seen
14. Thoughts on the Harvelles
I feel so many feels about them. My mommy issues r coming out in full in my attachment to Ellen and Jo is everything to me, she’s also a bisexual. I wish the show had done a different dynamic between her and Dean. Like yeah her daddy issues attached to him but I truly think Dean didn’t like her back but that’s just my opinion based fully on vibes
17. Favourite villain
OOOO
Okay I am a big fan of Ruby. She had me wondering about what was going on the whole time she was in the show and you know what I gotta hand it to her she is by far the sneakiest and most successful villain on the show (at least to where I am at season 7) maybe I’m biased because pretty evil girl but the had Sam wrapped around her baby finger
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I always have so many thoughts when watching The End:
“This isn't funny, Dean. The voice says I'm almost out of minutes,” will forever remain the funniest thing Castiel has ever said. That’s right, I’m ranking it above “assbutt.” Come at me.
“Because whatever we have between us—love, family, whatever it is—” who okayed this line and thought it looked any thing but incestuous, I salute you.
So the Colt hasn’t been melted down in ‘09 because Crowley has it for insurance or whatever, but why hasn’t anyone done away with it in 2014? It can still kill pretty much anything, right? Why keep it around at all?
Where did all the regular monsters go in the Endverse? Did demons kill them all? Did they all starve to death because Crotes are inedible? Shouldn’t there be a shit ton of ghosts everywhere? Inquiring minds want to know!
God bless Rhonda Hurley. That is all.
So according to Word of God (that is, the show runners, not Chuck), what happened in this episode is dimension hopping, not true time travel. In which case, why is Jack ripping open a hole in space-time such a big deal in late seasons? Zachariah’s like a mid-tier angel and he did it super casual like. Hey, and Balthazar does it next season too for The French Mistake and it’s not a big deal there either! How did this universe’s Michael not realize there were alternate versions of him running around in season 15 if even bozos like Zach can pop over into alternate timelines at any time? It’s like nobody’s paying attention except me.
Speaking of, is Chuck bilaterally cosplaying as human across dimensions, or is this universe’s Chuck actually a prophet? Can God exist in multiple dimensions at once? It really seems like he should be able to, right?
So Cas explains that he “lost his mojo” when the other angels left. Where and why they took off is a good question, but my concern is remembering that according to Naomi a couple of seasons down the road, angels literally power Heaven. They’re little celestial batteries to kingdom in the sky. So does that mean Heaven is broken in the Endverse? Or at least closed? In that case, there definetely should be a shit ton of ghosts around, shouldn’t there? It’s like nobody’s paying attention except me.
Also, how and why Cas can lose is mojo is wildly inconsistent across the series. Earlier in the season he says he’s cut off from Heaven and that’s why he couldn’t heal Bobby and in the Endverse it’s because all the other angels left, and later on it’s because his grace is running low... I’m just saying angel lore is messy even at the best of times.
It’s funny how Endverse!Dean tries to soften the blow about what happened to Sam and then later decides, fuck it, I’m gonna shove it in his face.
How’d Hippy!Cas break his foot? Was it dumb? I hope it was dumb. Hey, by the way, where’d he get his amphetamines? Shouldn’t those be saved for the numerous medical situations I’m sure you run into in a post-Apocalypse?
Why does Sam in that white suit make me so damn horny?
Samifer is the best version of Lucifer. I kinda hate what they did with the character in later seasons and this Shakespearean sounding sunnova bitch is the big reason why. He’s such an unassuming little monster and him wearing Sam’s face just hammers that home. Jared is a goddamn acting genius here and we don’t deserve to kiss his feet.
Lucifer is so damn extra, stepping on Endverse!Dean’s neck like that. How’d that even happen?
Lucifer looks so wounded when Dean flinches away from his touch. I bet it’s because Dean is the closest thing he has to a brother left now that the angels took off. Yeah, I bet that’s it.
When Sam and Dean reunite and Dean takes out Ruby’s knife I love how Sam definetely thinks Dean’s going to stab him but he doesn’t run away or try to talk him out of it or anything. My poor baby!! <3
And, of course, the number one question that will torment me until the end of days:
Why did Endverse!Sam say yes? They bring up the question and then offer zero hints and it drives me absolutely bonkers. If you think that I have a fic that answers this question somewhere in the back of my head... you’d be absolutely correct. One day!
#supernatural#spn#i want to sink my teeth into this episode#and shake it around until its neck snaps#but like affectionately
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Rewatching The Magnificent Seven
Welcome to “This Episode Coulda Used a Mister Yuck Sticker: A Supernatural Rewatch Blog” with Lor and Mace!
Up today, s3e1: The Magnificent Seven
The boys and Bobby start their search for all those demons Azazel let out of hell and discover that the first ones they bump into are the embodiment of the Seven Deadly Sins. They kinda-almost team up with a couple of other hunters, who claim they work better alone. Spoiler: they don't, and one ends up drinking Drano. Sam, Dean, and Bobby capture one of the Sins and get some info from him before the surviving hunter of the couple exorcises him back to hell, but not before the other Six come to get him. There's a Big Fight and the boys win, but nobody's super happy in the morning. Dean's starting to realize the consequences of his demon deal, as are Sammy and Bobby, plus they feel pretty hopeless about sorting out the demon mess unleashed at the end of last season. So, just another week in the life of a Winchester, really. Oh, and Ruby shows up for the first time. Gross. We hates her, precious.
Below is a log of our real-time reactions as we watched. Remember that there may be spoilers for any part of SPN’s 15-season run here. Note also that the nature of our conversation is adult and thus it may contain adult language and themes.
[and we begin:]
Lor:
mmmm I have missed our boys
Mace:
YAS
Mace:
nice placement of Hells Bells
Lor:
YES
Mace:
oh wait. this isn’t hells bells, is it?
Mace:
god, all their songs sound exactly the same
Mace:
ope it IS hells bells
Lor:
I dunno. I like the use of it whichever one it is
Lor:
HAAAAAHAHAHAHA
Lor:
(Dean is having a little fit off in the corner)
Mace:
HAAAAHAHAHAHAHA sorry DeanDean
Lor:
dammit dude stop trapping raccoons in your trash bins
Mace:
SNORK!
I was just about to yell at him for not running the hell away from the bins
Lor:
also put your car in its god-given garage
Lor:
haaaaahahahaha
Lor:
I mean, yes that too
Mace:
his garage is full of his taxidermy supplies, Lor. cripes.
Lor:
HAAAAAHAHAHAHA
silly of me, really
Mace:
don’t judge until you know all the facts.
Lor:
SNORK
Mace:
OMG DEAN
Lor:
aw Sammeh, doing research
Mace:
sammy doing sadness research i love him
Lor:
he's having a nice time
Lor:
YES
Mace:
YES
Mace:
“oh god"
Mace:
so what did Sam just see?
Lor:
haaaahahahah Sam
Lor:
he saw his brother having a menage with a man and a woman
I will not be convinced otherwise
Mace:
well Dean didn’t specify what kind of twins…
Lor:
EXACTLY
Lor:
(in seriousness, something slightly unusual had to be happening there. otherwise his reaction seems OTT)
Lor:
when did you ever sweat the cholesteral, baby?
Mace:
(YEP)
Mace:
HAHAHA
Lor:
LORD they are pretty
Mace:
YES THEY ARE
Mace:
(you didn’t mean the corpses, I assume)
Lor:
(haaaaaahahahahahaha I did not)
Mace:
I also need to know what movie that is
Lor:
agreed
Lor:
his face should be illegal. the symmetry is NONSENSE
Mace:
YES
Lor:
OMG DEAN
Lor:
the hand
Mace:
YES
Lor:
Sam Winchester. Ain't no one got a small talk answer to that question
Mace:
right? should have known better - all hunters start with a death in the family
Lor:
yep
Lor:
"this ain't Scooby Doo" and Dean's face
Mace:
YAS
Lor:
he's cute, y'all, but he WILL go off on you
Mace:
SNORK
Mace:
oh UGH
Lor:
oh LAUREL
Lor:
goddamn I always forget about Ruby 1.0
Mace:
you misspelled UGH there
Lor:
HA!
Mace:
omg the hand twitch EW
Lor:
see I wouldn't GET killed by a demon cause I would have been like "Oh, okay. you take them."
Mace:
HAHAHA YEP
Mace:
and then go home and cry
Lor:
YEP
Lor:
DEAN WINCHESTER, you stop milking it and face your feelings, boy
Mace:
ooof, we’ve got most of a season before that happens
Lor:
yeah
Lor:
"see? I'm working"
Mace:
“see? I’m working"
Mace:
HAHAHA
Lor:
he is so ANNOYINGLY adorable
Mace:
HE IS
Lor:
HAAAAAAHAHAHAHA omg Sam
Mace:
YAS
Lor:
the shadows of the raindrops on their faces is pretty cool
Mace:
YES
Mace:
poor Bobby. surrounded by idjits all the time
Lor:
yep
Mace:
oh god this is one of THE WORST deaths in the show
Lor:
yeeeeeeep
Lor:
If I remember rightly this is what made [friend] quit watching
Lor:
they never even GOT to Cas
Mace:
aw, that sucks
Lor:
yeah
Lor:
but, man it IS awful
Mace:
YEP
Lor:
"I'm dead already" THERE it is
Mace:
YEP
Mace:
“WHAT’S IN THE BOX” HAHAHAHA
Lor:
DEAN
Lor:
"Brad Pitt? Seven? No?" I luff him
Mace:
YES
Lor:
Bobby mad is a very different kind of "yes, sir, whatever you say" than Dean and Cas and Sam mad
Mace:
snork
agreed
Lor:
I mean, it's really more thanks to Azazel
Mace:
true
Lor:
but that was last season, so never mind
Mace:
SNORK
Mace:
HEY. BACK OFF THE DEANDEAN.
Lor:
RIGHT?
Lor:
He's never done anything wrong in his pretty, symmetrical life
Mace:
SNORK
Mace:
that’s one of my mom’s favorite hymns
Lor:
it's kind of lovely
Mace:
it’s okay
Lor:
it would probably make Pride really mad to know no one's paying attention to him because everyone's distracted by Sam's lovely face
Mace:
HAHAHA YAS
Lor:
She's the most annoying thing about S3, Sam
Mace:
YES SHE IS
Lor:
"think she's gonna be all right?" "no, definitely not"
Mace:
oh Dean
Lor:
yeah
Mace:
BOYS
Lor:
aw, Dean, knowing he's gonna die makes him a little brat, apparently
Lor:
we don't ever see her again, do we?
Mace:
i don’t think so
Lor:
cool Black hunter, one-off. her husband, dead in act ii
Mace:
YEP
Lor:
Yes, Dean, you're about as far away from Mardi Gras as you can get
Mace:
Bobby’s car makes me thing that Baby isn’t the only car that reflects… things… about the show. Hunters don’t drive ‘normal’ cars; it’s another reflection of their outsider status
Lor:
oooo YES
Lor:
"so what now I live and you die?" "that's the general idea"
Mace:
YEP. FUCK YOU 873
Lor:
YES
Lor:
kicks 327
Mace:
OH! I got 2 numbers right!
Lor:
you do not feel good, Dean. you're tore up inside. and it's gonna come out eventually
Lor:
HAAAAAHAHAHAH you DID
#watchingspnagain#watchingspnagain 3x01#spn#supernatural#spn meta#spn spoilers#spn 3x01#watchingspnagain dean's hedonism#watchingspnagain demon deal#watchingspnagain demons#watchingspnagain treatment of poc characters
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midnights by ms tay tay swift has been out for a day and i already know what songs are sambucky coded woah woah big surprise. anyway lets dive into that
so at number one i got maroon. i mean first of all. the maroon shirt from ep 5 and 6. yeah. thats- yeah. and and AND the second verse in all its glory i mean “When the silence came
We were shaking, blind and hazy
How the hell did we lose sight of us again?
Sobbing with your head in your hands
Ain't that the way shit always ends?
You were standing hollow-eyed in the hallway
Carnations you had thought were roses, that's us
I feel you, no matter what
The rubies that I gave up” like be so honest is very much them.
yeah anyway NEXT UP IS SWEET NOTHING BECAUSE GODDAMN. first up is the chorus because well “’Causе they said the end is coming
Evеryone's up to something
I found myself a-running home to your sweet nothings
Outside they're push and shoving
You're in the kitchen hummin'
All that you ever wanted from me was nothing” AS WELL AS THE BRIDGE BECAUSE WELL “Industry disruptors and soul deconstructors
And smooth-talking hucksters out glad-handing each other
And the voices that implore, "You should be doing more"
To you, I can admit that I'm just too soft for all of it” yeah. yeah this is. yeah. very sambucky
NEXT UP IS LABYRINTH (dumb word but moving forward) this song is verry sam wilson coded because i said so i do not take criticism for my very correct opinions. um so yeah like the chorus and second verse are quite very sambucky again no i will not take criticism. “I'm fallin' in love
Oh no, I'm fallin' in love again
Oh, I'm fallin' in love
I thought the plane was goin' down
How'd you turn it right around? It only feels this raw right now. Lost in the labyrinth of my mind. Break up, break free, break through, break down. You would break your back to make me break a smile” like do i even have to explain this omg. you would break your back. to make me break smile. if that is not the most sambucky thing i have ever heard my GOODNESS.
finally. paris. i say this for one reason, and one reason only. it is SO CA:TWS TO CA:CW CODED HOLY GODDDDDD. the pre chorus is just “I'm so in love that I might stop breathing
Drew a map on your bedroom ceiling
No, I didn't see the news
'Cause we were somewhere else
Stumbled down pretend alleyways
Cheap wine, make believe it's champagne
I was taken by the view” you know. and verse 2 “Privacy sign on the door
And on my page and on the whole world
Romance is not dead if you keep it just yours
Levitate above all the messes made
Sip quiet by my side in the shade
And not the kind that's thrown
I mean, the kind under where a tree has grown” you know. like do you see my vision here.
this was very messy i even barely understand it but i hope the message gets though because i am very very VERY passionate about the fact that midnights is the sambuckyiest album taylor has every sambuckied.
#this is very very messy#but i dont know how to communicate thoughts quite well when it comes to taylor and sambucky#so this is what you get#yeah i loved this album so so so much#i understand if taylor is not your vibe but she is very much mine so have fun with that#sambucky#taylor swift#midnights#sam wilson#bucky barnes
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I just... don't get the attitude of hating characters pushed to the breaking point for making desperate, bad decisions and hurting others. That is the most compelling shit to me. Yes I'm talking about s9 Dean. Yes I'm talking about s10 Sam, or the Sam who turned to Ruby while Dean was in hell. Characters who are so wounded and panicked and have no really good options, and only one directive--to try to save what they love most. And yeah maybe it's selfish and they do some bad shit as a result but god, that's so human!! And getting up on a moral high horse and saying "how DARE he X" is so... basic. Goddamn, this is where the sweet stuff is! The rawness! This isn't Ethics 101 it's a story and sometimes the "ethical" decision is the most goddamn boring one because people aren't robots and by god I wanna feel how trapped they are, how they're clawing and clinging and hanging on for dear life and going down a path that makes them doubt or hate themself and turning into what they never wanted but what else can they do? Just stop being human, stop acting on their human impulses and needs? Become paragons of perfection and skip over the messy consequences and the (optional) hard-earned path of recovery and forgiveness and rebuilding? No thank you I do not want that story, that parable, and I'm not interested in moralizing and pearl-clutching that ensures people know /you/ don't approve of such behavior! That defeats the very purpose of storytelling. We're supposed to be made uncomfortable, to dare to feel something for a person going down a dark path, to get into the messy guts of what it means to be human and fallible.
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no because it makes sense right ruby gets her reward rises up the ranks in hell becomes more powerful and her new job becomes getting sam to say yes not only to being lucifer's vessel but The Cause at large meanwhile sam is thinking about ways to kill lucifer while hes vulnerable and get out of this mess so we're back to the status quo of thinking theyre using one another but theyre actually growing empathy for each other and themselves in the process and falling in love MEANWHILE ruby gets steadily disillusioned with the goals and politics of the leader she put her life and heart on the line to put in power WHILE ALSO growing more and more attached to this fucked up buncha humans and humanity in general and getting more and more in touch with it as shes ~method acting~ her way thru her relationship with sam WHILE ALSO sam somehow both desperately and hesitantly clings to PROVING that he can use his powers to save the world bc if one thing ruby said this whole time had any truth to it is that maybe what he is isnt inherently evil and worthy of punishment (but also this is punishment i must follow this path to its end or die trying - hopefully i die trying - if im wrong god will strike me down) and hes fucking sick of other people using him as a means to an end his body is gonna be his own goddamn it hes gonna use whoever else he needs to AND THEN AT SOME POINT rubys mask slips and he sees that shes shaky on the hell thing but she already knows hes shaky on the monsterhood-bad fuck-you-demonic-temptress thing AND THEY FUCKIN JOIN FORCES AND TEAR IT ALL DOWN. SAM (WITH RUBYS HELP) DRINKS LUCIFER DRY WHILE HES IN THAT FLAKY LITTLE VESSEL IN A VERY DRAMATICALLY SATISFYING DOUBLE CROSS THAT MAY OR MAY NOT INVOLVE SWORDS, RUBY DRINKS SAMS BLOOD THEY FUCKIN TEAR EVERYTHING DOWN NO ONE CAN CHECK THEM
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The Absolute Fuckery that was 15x20
Ok there were a lot of reasons why the final was bad. Like so many fucking reasons. Even without the queerbaiting,this is some of the worst writing I’ve ever seen and here’s a few reasons why:
Destiel
Yes. Big main reason here. They should not have included a confession and have one of the main plots of season 15 be Castiel’s and Dean’s relationship if they didn’t intend to follow through in any way. It shouldn’t have been introduced because the story became disjointed and thematically unsatisfying due to not being addressed in the final in any sort of way. Also, queerbaiting in 2020? Just to get your views up for the last few episodes because they knew Supernatural had become a shit show of bad ratings? Calculated and cruel toward the LGBTQIA+ community who has supported their careers for years.
Saileen
The absolute least they could have done was see this plot point through but they did not. We do not know if Eileen lives and even if they release information that she did, it’s still bullshit because we don’t get to see any part of her story. She has been reduced to a two dimensional character with no agency or purpose. Another woman just meant to prop up the male lead. Bullshit.
The Empty
What the fuck was the point of everything about this plot line if it would just be trashed half way through? Why did Cas make that deal with Ruby? Why did she beg to get out? Why did the Empty accuse Jack of making it loud? I really thought they were going somewhere with this one but they chickened out. There was so much potential for this; the angels and demons being awakened, balance being restored in heaven and hell, a big final show down between them and God. There were so many things just dropped when it came to this and that is why season 15 is absolutely frustrating because it feels like we just wasted our time with useless world building that didn’t amount to anything.
Kevin
I truly did think they’d address this in some sort of way, but the last time we saw Kevin, he was cursed to wander the earth until he became insane because his soul couldn’t ascend to heaven. I was really excited about this because I thought it meant there was going to be some restructuring of the Supernatural universe. The plot would be how the universe Chuck created wasn’t perfect and it had flaws and it was up to Team Free Will to fix some of these gaping holes. They made a point of calling it unfair. It was a wrong that should have been righted in some sort of way in the final.
Benny
This really isn’t just about Benny, it is about the concept of purgatory. A running theme in the show is that good people don’t deserve what happened to them. We see a lot of “good” monsters throughout the show. Characters who helped, sacrificed, and died for the brothers. At the end, they are sent to monster hell or purgatory. There was an episode this season where Sam and Dean killed a teenage boy who had been turned into a vampire. The teenage boy accepted his death because he knew it was for the best. He was afraid of hurting more people and he accepted that it was unfair. They made sure to emphasize how unjust the rules of this universe were and the emotional toll these universal rules took on the boys. Benny’s demise was spoken about briefly and we see Dean very hurt about his death. But the audience is left with the feeling that this is wrong. That the way the Supernatural universe is structured is wrong. Good people get turned into monsters, die, go to purgatory, and then die the ultimate death there. Is this what’s in store for all the “good monster” characters in the show? Garth? His family? They’re werewolves who fight their monster instincts, do they they still deserve purgatory? Did that teenage boy? A gaping hole that I thought the show was going to address in some way. Maybe offer redemption to those in purgatory or have Jack completely wipe away the concept of monsters in the universe. After all, it was just Chuck’s shitty writing, why couldn’t they wipe it clean and just leave people? “Cure” people of the monster and officially give the boys a way out of hunting? No monsters means no hunting. They’d be truly free. I thought this was direction they were going based off the certain episodes and characters discussed. But nope.
Jack
They reduced Jack’s character to plot food and that’s it. His ending was sloppy because it didn’t take into account any of the growth he’s had over the last three seasons. We predicted his ending from season 12 and that’s bad writing. Just. Awful writing. This character had dreams, motivations, relationships, but that all quite literally dissipated. He was used as a magic button that solved all their problems. 15x19 truly showed the lack of thought put into his character. He should not have been a main character if he didn’t have more influence on the plot than simply being a cop-out for having to write a well thought out solution. He was literally just there to snap his fingers and fix all their problems.
Dean
Oh yeah, Dean’s ending was a big fuck you to any character growth this character has had over the last 15 seasons. There is a line in his final 15 minute goodbye monologue where he says they always knew it would end this way. Which, exactly. We always thought it would end this way because it’s so goddamn predictable. It’s shitty writing because it doesn’t try to subvert this. It quite literally says that any growth Dean has had meant nothing because it didn’t change his end. Dean Winchester was always meant to die a young, bloody death. Everything he’s done, everything he’s bled and sacrificed for meant nothing. His prediction came true. It makes the audience wonder why they stuck around for this long ass journey if they knew the ending all along. It isn’t about what this character deserves. We have always known that the hero deserves happiness, but the ending should say something about why the story matters. Why did we see Dean struggle all his life about accepting himself? Loving himself? Seeing himself as someone who deserves to live? It was yet another theme and plot point throughout season 15. It’s what Castiel proclaimed to him in his confession and it is what Dean finally acknowledged by telling Chuck that’s not who he was. Dean Winchester is not a cold blooded killer. Dean Winchester deserved to live. It was beautiful character growth. A wonderful end to him. But they said fuck that when his last words were that he always knew it would end this way. That he always knew he wasn’t meant to live a long life. The writers wanted tears and they got them. I was crying, not because it was a beautiful satisfying death or ending, but because they tore apart 15 years of development for my beloved character. Dean Winchester has shown consistently that he wanted more than hunting, he wanted more than the life he got stuck with. But they didn’t follow through. They just decided to make an emotional ending because that was the coolest broest bro masculine thing to do.
Castiel
Literally everything. Literally fucking everything. Another character that was reduced to plot food. Castiel, the angel who rebelled against heaven and fell for the man he raised from perdition, was not deemed important enough to be in the final. This was the biggest fuck you of all. His story had become so complicated over the last few seasons and his purpose was kinda everywhere but they finally focused it when they had his happiness be Dean. When he said he found his faith when he found a family. When he became a father to someone who would one day save the universe. Castiel lived for the love he learned he was capable of. His ending just made no sense. I guess we’re supposed to assume Jack saved his from the empty but he wasn’t shown. He was not shown greeting Dean, the man he died for over and over again, his happiness. He was not shown being reunited with Jack, his faith. He was not shown enjoying the life he fell from grace for. He was a book with half its pages ripped out. Castiel didn’t get an ending. He got erased.
Sam
That fucking wig.
This is just some of my rambling thoughts I wanted to share will all of you. I have been a fan of this show for so many years. I invested so much time and love into something I’m going to look back on with bitter disappointment. Some of shittiest writing I have ever seen. Thanks for reading and add some more reasons. I know a missed a shit ton.
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did cas really tell dean to kneel before their new god? did that actually happen? i thought him beating the shit out of dean in that alley was the most unrestrainedly horny thing this show had ever done ACTUALLY you know what scratch that new question: top horny moments from the cw's supernatural (2005 - 2020)
getting this ask feels like my sins of the last week have been weighed against the Trials I Have Gone Through since the premier of supernatural on the wb in september of 2005 and I’m not sure if it is a punishment or reward
some notes before we begin:
the ep with dean’s male siren was like, conceptually horny but not actually that horny because the dude was uglie. I’m sorry to this man
all you sam girls out there. I respect you but I do not respect jared padalecki who is JUST tall and has zero sex appeal. but those eps where he’s like, drinking ruby’s blood and then eating her pussy are. you know. I’ll give you that
I am ONLY UP TO SEASON 10 so fair warning this is not comprehensive but the horniness does seem to drop off sharply after the mark of cain is no longer in play lol gotta love a good demon murder tattoo plot
this is easily the most insane thing I’ve ever done, including the destiel manifesto
S1 EP12: the scene where dean gets healed by the faith healer, on his knees with a hand in his hair and looking somewhere between religious ecstasy, brain death and an orgasm. starting this list off great
S1 EP22: azazel possessing john winchester. no I will not explain further if u know u know <3
S3 EP10: dean being taunted by a dream version of himself, this is where we first got the daddy’s blunt little instrument line. still burned in my hippocampus a good 13 years later thank yew
S4 EP1: dean crawling out of his own grave covered in grave dirt. hot. the HANDPRINT. HOT. also tangent but this reveal after the s3 finale was WILD back in 2008 I hollered in my dorm room after canvassing for obama. simpler times man
S4 EP 1: cas’ intro scene. the barn. the shadow wings. the hair??? getting stabbed in the chest by the man you just pulled out of hell. getting aaaallll up in that personal space. his little eyebrow. “you don’t think you deserve to be saved.” OUTRAGEOUSLY FLAMING
S4 EP02: “I dragged you out of hell I can throw you back in.” <<< this angel tops. mark dean down as scared and horny etc
S4 EP16: this ENTIRE EPISODE but specifically the part where dean tortures alastair as some kind of foreplay and then alastair kicks his ass. carved you into a new animal. jesus.
S4 EP16: wait I forgot about the part where cas also gets his ass kicked and looks all....hm. dazed and covered in blood while he’s on his knees and about to die. yeah.
S5 EP4: I mean this entire ep is unfairly horny considering everyone is dying of a zombie plague and hasn’t showered in like, 4 years but if I had to pick one hmmm. the dean/dean interrogation scene with the panty kink yeah I know it’s not original but hm. it happened. also misha collins just being able to convey that CAS IS A FLEXIBLE SLUT with a single roll of his shoulders. who SAYS this man can’t act!!!!!
S5 EP18: the ALLEY SCENE. DEAN DOESN’T FIGHT BACK. CAS HOLDS HIM UP OFF THE GROUND AND THEN THROWS HIM ACROSS THE ALLEY. WHY DID EVERYONE THINK CAS COULDN’T TOP. you all had brainworms.
S5 EP18: when cas locks dean in the panic room to stop him from saying yes to michael and “well cas not for nothing but the last person who looked at me like that I got laid” I hate this show. wait I think the blow me cas line is in this episode too what the fuck were they on here
S6 EP5: the scene where dean gets turned into a vampire. between the old dude who I think calls dean a pretty boy (??) and soulless sam....watching??? no ******* but there were just some absolutely foul energies in that scene and I still do not understand WHAT they were thinking
S6 EP20: cas doing a double smite on two demons by slamming them to the ground and then shoving another demon back in its vessel and then smiting him in the same motion. TOP. ENERGY.
S6 EP22: season 6 is possibly cas’ horniest season because he’s like, going through angel puberty after getting his first boner for dean, but the final cas eps are. whoof. cas eats a bunch of souls and proclaims himself to be a new god in order to handle said boner, and then the season ends with cas telling them to bow down and profess their love to him, their new lord, or he will destroy them. note: the way this is framed makes it look like cas is only staring at dean while he says this, even though sam and bobby are also there. the season ends with dramatic zooms on both cas and dean’s faces respectively. this made me actively regret ditching this show after s5 lol
S8 EP??: literally EVERY SINGLE PURGATORY FLASHBACK. cas dean and benny are all purgatory hot in the “pop 10 cranberry pills and risk the UTI” kind of way but also. dean being the hot girl bottom between two tops who hate each other. I really. whew. I need to go take a shower.
S8 EP17: if I get canceled for including the crypt scene on this list I blame you bud. but dean on his knees begging a brainwashed cas to stop killing him WAS sexy. how many times has dean been on his knees in this list wait there’s another one coming up next jsldjfsldkjf
S9 EP2: abaddon getting dean on his knees (YEAH) and pulling his hair and praising him for always coming when called HELLO???? the only thing that ruins this is dean says “I can’t tell if we’re gonna fight or make out” because this is the CW and they won’t let him say fuck
S9 EP6: ah. this entire episode is Emotionally Horny but the horny horny part is when they’re in the car and dean is telling cas to unbutton his shirt and. watches. I know this was on my destiel manifesto but I need it here too
S9 EP9: cas, covered in blood, slitting another angel’s throat and eating his grace after getting tortured. that shot alone made me understand why this website was so goddamn horny for misha collins for nearly a damn decade
S9 EP11: MARK OF CAIN BABEY. cain watching dean beat up a bunch of demons as an audition for taking on the mark, while crowley also is a fucking voyeur to the whole thing. cain is also a hot silver fox with daddy energies. I said what I said
S9 EP 16: dean getting the first blade. he’s chained to a pillar and being menaced by a foppish dandy who wants to add him to his “collection” (WOW). dean then kills him with the blade and whew. murder is sexy sometimes
S9 EP21: dean being pinned against a wall by abaddon’s power, then using the mark of cain to break her hold, calling the first blade to him psychically and then killing her. god the mark of cain is hot
S9 EP23: dean waking up with the demon eyes NUT
S10 EP2: demon dean beating up that dude with the boring backstory and kicking his ass. really was a go on baby I got your flower moment because I hated that dude and I love demon dean
S10 EP3: demon dean being chained up and taunting sam about how his brother is gone, then hunting sam through the bunker. demon dean in general was VERY fun for me, someone who loves trash
S10 EP9: dean going berserk and killing a bunch of pedophile rapists/child abusers. I’m sorry I know this show is trying to preach morality at me about monsters and unnecessary murder and humanity or whatever but we blew past that like 8 SEASONS AGO. also the mark of cain is sexy
S10 EP14: the rest of this list is really gonna be mark of cain stuff isn’t it look I’m here to have fun. cain and dean’s fight. cain continuously tossing his mane of hair back and taunting dean with the picture of what he’s going to become, who he’s going to kill. dean begging cain to tell him that he can stop, and then ultimately killing him. rip daddy.
S11 EP4: again I have not watched this however. every shot of this episode is PRESTIGE TELEVISION because driving a muscle car is sexy. and especially the shot of dean all beat to hell and begging his car to start and giving her a little kiss from his fingers to her dash. ugh. masculinity.
S12 EP10: the bearded salt-and-pepper daddy look returns, only it’s an angel this time and he’s wearing a vest and shirtsleeves and he swordfights with a hot redheaded lady in a suit and an eyepatch. this show is good sometimes!!! and oh fuck lol I just realized this is the same guy who played krissy’s hot hunter dad in s7 probably the first guy who’s hotter as an angel than a hunter. huh.
S12 EP 11: dean riding larry the mechanical bull to “broomstick cowboy.” I have no idea where this factors into the ep but I have seen. the youtube clip
S13 EP23: from what I can tell s13 is way more emotionally horny than boner horny, although dean burning cas’ body was sexy. but the horniest part was dean saying yes to michael and then michael taking over and saying “thanks for the suit.” we are going to ignore the silliest fight scene in existence as well as the final shot ending on a FREEZE FRAME like a goddamn tiktok
S14: not gonna pick a specific moment because I have not watched yet!!! but michael dean is hot. idk why michael is weirdly hot and I cannot stand any iteration of lucifer on this television programme. it should be the reverse but I’m forever an older sibling stan apparently. someone who is catholic could probably explain this better.
S15 EP13: genevieve padalecki and danneel ackles fight flirting as ruby and anael I CANNOT BELIEVE THEY HELD OUT ON THIS TILL THE LAST SEASON
I know I am missing things but this is already an absolutely incomprehensible screed. I know I’m missing shit from the latter seasons but give me time I’m pacing myself
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December 19, 2021
Hello! I’m done with this chapter just in time! It took me all day cause I get distracted easily lol Enjoying my countdown for Christmas with this domestic family? Then catch up with the masterpost here!
Summary: Welcome to the flashback episode where we get the story of how Dean and Cas got together. I think it’s dumb but cute :)
Word Count: 2358 (yeah...this one could have been longer but I had to chill)
Cas was humming in the kitchen, his playlist playing loudly through the house, while he prepared Dean’s lunch. He stirred the soup once before grabbing a spoon to taste for seasoning. Adding a bit more white pepper before dropping the chopped kale into the hot pot of chicken rice soup.
“Dad?” Jack appeared on Cas’s left. “What time is Dad coming home?”
Claire appeared on Cas’s right. “And what the hell are you listening to?”
He turned towards Jack first, who was mesmerized by the stirring of the soup. “You’re Dad will get off from work at 5, so by 5:30 he should be home.” Then he turned his attention to Claire who was snacking on the homemade croutons. Her eyes met his and she smiled, small and crooked with warm eyes. “And I’m listening to a playlist Sam made me. I believe this is Wannabe by the Spice Girls. Oh, scratch that it’s playing Heaven Help Me by Lizzo now.”
Her eyes widened before she threw her head back to laugh. A hand landing hard on his shoulder while he smiled fondly at his daughter. Jack was already humming the song while reaching for some croutons for himself. Making a face when he bits down on a real burnt one.
“Does Dean listen to this teenage girl stuff?” Claire asked, leaning against the counter.
Jack copied her movement but it didn’t look as casual as Claire made it seem. Cas moved around them to get a tall thermos to fill with enough soup for a second or third bowl. Dean’s lunchbox was already filled with everything he needed to keep himself warm and full until he came home for dinner. He even added a loaf of apple cinnamon bread to his lunch so Dean could share with his coworkers. A smaller thermos was filled with coffee and he was bringing an extra reusable water bottle, covered in stickers Jack picked out, just in case.
“Sometimes. If he’s in a good enough mood.” Cas admits as he finishes filling up the thermos and zipping up the lunch box.
“You know, you never really told me when you two finally got together.” Claire pushed herself off the counter to grab his arm, looking at him with bright rounding eyes that matched his eye color. “I think I deserve to hear how my Dads got together!”
“It’s a great story.” Jack agrees as he decided that copying his sister wasn’t fun anymore but he was gonna rummage through the fridge. “Dad Dean doesn’t really like talking about it much.”
“What? Why?” Claire furrowed her eyebrows together while looking up at Cas for answers. “You two are so happy-old-married-couple that it’s sickeningly cute. Was he embarrassed or something?”
“Thank you?” Cas raises an eyebrow back at her as he swings the lunchbox into his shoulder. “And he was embarrassed but I think it’s a story we should tell in front of your father.”
“Why?”
“Cause it would be funny.” Cas tells her with a wink while Jack hummed in agreement, a big smile on his face.
As Cas drove slowly through the icy road, he was smiling, fighting back a laugh, unable to stop remembering the day he returned to Earth. Returned to Dean.
It was a few days of Earth time after Chuck was defeated that Cas escaped with his brothers and sisters, along with a few demons that tagged along. He made sure Ruby stayed asleep and behind, not wanting her to bother Sam or Eileen. He never did find Crowley or Meg, even spending some time calling out for both of them when he realized so many were woken up.
Jack found him and helped him up to heaven to try to fix whatever they could. He didn’t ask about Dean or Sam but Jack reassured him that they were fine.
“Let me make you stronger, Cas.” Jack reached for him but Cas stopped him, shaking his head.
“I don’t plan on being an angel for long, Jack. So let me use whatever is left to help you.”
And he did. Two Earth months passed before everything was sort of decided upstairs. Raphael wasn’t the biggest fan of the new dynamic but he followed orders, happy it wasn’t under Chuck and he could actually interact with whoever was in charge.
Cas could feel more of his grace slip away from him when he was with Bobby, reassuring him that his boys were the hero’s he believed them to be, and most importantly they were happy.
“Are you going back to them?” Bobby asked as he sipped at his beer, Cas sat beside him drinking one of his own. Tasted just like the first one Dean has ever given him.
Cas hummed into the bottle. “I am.”
“But they think you’re six feet under?”
“They do.” He looked down at his bottle, peeling away the label with his thumbs. “Sometimes I believe that Dean doesn’t think so.”
“Why is that?”
“He prays to me constantly.” Cas smiles, listening to Dean’s prayer right now. “Right now he’s complaining about the crowd at the grocery store.” He chuckles. “And he’s right. I do hate waiting in those long lines.”
Bobby doesn’t say much but the way he says, “Just take care of my boy.” Felt like the blessing he needed, the push, to finally go back to Dean.
Jack was coming down to Earth with him. It may take a while longer to figure out the spell to conceal and hold Jack’s God powers but they would figure it out. Amara promises to find them a way to help him and will contact them soon, giving Jack a final squeeze before she disappears.
Cas gave Gabriel one last hug, Adam even gave him one even though he was sure Michael wasn’t the hugging type before Jack flew them back to Earth. Appearing in the middle of the bunker’s library.
Jack ran off with a small smile on his lips, it was constantly strained and never reached his eyes as his powers overwhelmed him, to go look for the brothers. Cas was feeling dizzy from the flight so he shut his eyes, taking a hold of the back of the chair to steady himself.
Then he looked up when he heard a bottle break. There was a figure laying on top of the map table.
Cas took out his blade and made his wobbly legs steady before making his way over. Kicking empty beer bottles as he went. Then two bottles of bourbon by the steps. Then he saw the broken bottle of tequila that now laid on the floor by the table.
His eyes traveled up to the map table to see Dean sat blinking over at him. Head tilted and mouth slightly parted. As if he still couldn’t put a name to his face.
Cas put his blade down and made his way over to the drunk hunter. “Be careful there is glass everywhere.”
When he made it to the broken bottle he pushed it into a neat pile with his shoe.
“How about you go to bed and I’ll clean this up?” Cas leaned down to pick up the bigger pieces but he was quick to cut himself. “Fuck.” Cas hissed as he realized he couldn’t find any grace to even heal himself enough to stop the bleeding.
Dean gently reaches down to take Cas’s bleeding hand. “The last time I saw you, the real you, the same hand was bleeding.” Dean held on to his hand and tears started to fall into Cas’s hand. “I wish I could have at least helped you patch it up. I wish I could have at least done one goddamn thing for you.”
“Dean.” Cas reached to touch Dean’s face with the tips of his fingers but Dean pushed his face into his palm. His heart raced as he cradled Dean’s face in his good hand while his other hand was being held so gently.
“I miss you, Cas.” His eyes closed as Cas’s thumb started to make circles around his cheek all on its own. Feeling the stubble that was growing too long for Dean’s liking. “I miss you so damn much and I just...I don’t-I don’t think you’re coming back this time.”
“I’m back, Dean.” Cas tells him with urgency. Taking his bleeding hand back to grab Dean’s face, wanting to make him look at him. When Dean blinks up at him again his eyes start to water. “I’m back! I’m here. I’m here, Dean. As long as you want me.”
“Cas?” Dean finally seems to look at him, actually see him. “You’re here?”
“I’m here.”
“You’re back?” Dean covers Cas’s bloody hand with his own while the other one reaches to grip the trench coat.
“Yes, dumbass.” Cas chuckles through his tears.
Dean tugs at Cas’s coat and pulls him into a hug. His arms wrapped around his shoulders into a tight embrace, his nose nuzzled into Cas’s neck. His breath tickling him and his breath...horrendous.
“You stink, Dean.” Cas hugs him back as he hides his face into Dean’s shoulder.
“I love you.” Dean says as he pulls himself closer.
“I know. I heard your prayers.” Cas chuckles into Dean’s skin. “I love you too.”
Dean pulls back so suddenly that it scares Cas. Thinking maybe he said something wrong but then Dean made another sudden move.
“Marry me!”
Cas choked on his breath when he couldn’t even find his next words.
“Cas, marry me!” His eyes were wide, eyes dilated and a flushed face. Clearly drunk out of his mind. “You’re back so we can get married now! I mean...I think you need to ask Sam for my hand but fuck him for ditching me for Eileen today. Let’s get married before he gets home.”
Dean started to pull him towards the stairs, both of them stumbling over their feet for two different reasons.
“Can I come too?” Jack finally made his way towards them. “I can be a flower boy!”
“Jack, we’re not getting married.” Cas tells him, his head spinning. “I just…Dean, you’re drunk!”
“Am not!” Dean argued back, his brows furrowed together. Cas’s shoulders relaxed as he looked at how cute his grumpy expression was. “Say you’ll marry me, Cas!”
“Fine, I’ll marry you!” Cas smiles back at him and the grin that shined through Dean’s eyes made his heart race. Fuck, he really missed him. “But not tonight. Tonight we sleep off the alcohol.”
Dean Winchester was pouting at him and his heart ached. He reached to grip at his own shirt, right over his heart. “Dean, please.”
“But I love you.”
“Aww,” Jack pouted back at him. “Dad, he loves you!”
“Jack, you are not helping.” Cas glared at him and then before he looked back at Dean he had a pair of hot lips pressed against his own. Dean was kissing him.
Before he could even enjoy the kiss or even register it completely, Dean was throwing up on his shoes.
Back in the garage, Cas was grinning when he stepped into the warm office. Dean was in the front office when he walked in, the phone between his shoulder and ear as he typed away in the computer. His eyes widened when he saw Cas but then a smile spread across his lips.
“Yes, we’ll send someone right over to tow your car right over. It shouldn’t take more than two to look at. Of course. It’ll be ready by tomorrow. No worries. Okay, have a nice day.” He hung up the phone and quickly rushed to pull Cas into a quick kiss and a tight hug. “Babe, what are you doing here? I said the roads were still too icy to drive in.”
“And yet you put snow chains on my tiers this morning.” Cas hands him his lunch that his boyfriend takes with a grin.
“It’s cause I know you wouldn't listen.” He kisses Cas’s cheek. “Thanks, Babe. You have time to eat lunch with me?”
“I always have time for you, Dean.”
When lunch was over Cas walked back to his truck, Dean fixing the beanie over his head once again. Giving him a quick kiss before saying, “Get home safely.”
“You too, sweetheart.” Cas waves at him when he quickly rushes to the warmth of his truck. Then before he gets into the car he looks back at Dean, who of course was still looking back at him, “Oh, by the way, Claire wants to hear the story of how we got together.”
Dean stood there for a few seconds as his face dropped, cute grumpy. “No.”
“I promised to tell her over dinner!”
“No!”
“Love you!”
“Cas, babe, no!”
“Love you! Bye!”
“Love you too but no! Cas!”
That drunk proposal felt like years ago instead of months.
Of course, the best part of the night was the following morning.
Cas woke up with Dean staring down at him, eyes red and filled with tears but a soft smile on his lips. Fingers running through his hair in a gentle caress. Never feeling more at home than he did that morning in Dean’s bed.
“I thought it was creepy to watch people sleep.” Cas mumbles as he reaches over to rub his eyes with the palm of his hands.
“It is but you’re, um...you’re cute when you sleep.” Dean admitted while Cas froze his face warming up under his hands. “Are you really here, Cas?”
He finally pulled his hands down to stare back at Dean. “I am.”
“And you’re here to stay? Human?”
“I am.” Cas stood still under Dean’s intense stare. “If you’ll have me.”
Dean didn’t answer. Instead, he leaned down to kiss him breathless.
Cas, as well as Jack, was made to promise not to talk about the proposal. Especially the throwing up part or the Jack carrying a passed out Dean to his bed. Cleaning both of them up before he went back to his own room.
Still, he loved to tease him every chance he got. And he knew their daughter will do the same.
#Destiel#Deancas#Supernatural#SPN#A More Profound OTP#Jack#Jack Winchester#A Child#My Writing#destiel fic#destiel ficlet#spnadventcalendar#destiel advent calendar#sort of a stand alone coda fic if you squint a little
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Ranking Every SPN Season Finale
15) 11.23 Alpha and Omega. Dead last because not only is Chuck and Amara’s conflict defanged with a frankly silly anticlimax, but a lot of runtime is eaten up with establishing Lady Toni getting on a plane. The great weakness of an otherwise very strong season is that none of the awful compromises Sam and Dean and Cas made (especially Sam wrt Lucifer) ended up having relevance at all.
14) 9.23 Do You Believe In Miracles. Cheesy dying dialogue, Metatron hamming it up for way too long, that facepalming “the radio was on the whole! time!” twist, uncertainty as to the motivation of the whole confrontation that ends in Dean’s death. Also, this is the beginning of the end of walking back the beautiful work the rest of s9 established, with Sam saying things like “I lied.” I don’t like Dean’s death here at all, in staging, or conceptually, or thematically.
13) 12.23 All Along The Watchtower. I am basically obliged to put this in C tier because it is quite silly, but frankly, I like it more than its ranking deserves. It has the late season finale sin of cramming in an introduction to next season’s conflict in the middle of wrapping up this season’s—but it’s absolutely hilarious that they brought in multiverse portals. And for Sam and Dean, thank god the portal appeared, because otherwise they had absolutely no plan whatsoever to deal with Lucifer, and they probably would have died gruesomely. High points: Sam discovering Rowena’s death on the phone with Lucifer; the spooky introduction of Jack, the raised stakes with Mary trapped with Lucifer. Lowest point: the utter silly pointlessness of Cas’s death.
12) 10.23 Brother’s Keeper. This is the finale that I have the strongest mixed feelings about. There is a queasy lack of self-awareness in the treacly sentiment when Sam presents family photos as evidence of Dean’s goodness. The excuse of MOC!Dean as not the “real” Dean allows for the reasons behind this confrontation to be elided, even as its themes are echoed again and again. The chilling horror of Sam on his knees in front of Dean the executioner is potent and darkly enjoyable, but the instant redirection into attacking Death prevents any kind of real culmination. I can’t decide if I like this episode or loathe it, but I do think I appreciate it more now, after 14.20 and 15.17, than I did when it aired.
11) 7.23 Survival of the Fittest. We’re on to B-tier! There’s nothing significantly wrong with 7.23. Meg crashes the Impala through a glass sign, so that’s fun. Kevin’s there. There’s action, there’s some cool stakes for next season established, Sam is left alone, which I love. The main sin here is just that most of it is fairly forgettable, because the strongest part of s7 was always the psychological drama of the Winchesters’ disintegration and isolation, not the physical conflict with Leviathans.
10) 14.20 Moriah. Lots of my points about 10.23 apply here, but Moriah is a much better episode, both because there is actual conflict of opinion, and because there is a lot more built-in uncertainty about Jack’s fate than Sam’s. Jack and Dean are onboard with Jack’s murder, just as Sam and Dean were agreed on Sam’s death in 10.23, but this time Cas is staunchly against it, and Sam is on the fence, torn as to how to intervene. So it’s much better drama. But then the crux of the issue gets defanged by Chuck’s reveal. Great s15 setup, but kicks the 14.17-14.19 build down the road. Extra points for Sam shooting God.
9) 13.23 Let the Good Times Roll. I fucking love the 13.21-13.23 arc. The only thing preventing 13.23 from being A-tier are some wholly avoidable mistakes. The staging is silly; a face-palming amount of time was wasted on Maggie; the wires were a deeply regrettable choice. But even with all that, what we got was great, actually! The Sam-Jack-Lucifer church custody battle is still my favorite goddamn thing. Dean saying yes to Michael was both his only smart move and a devastating sacrifice. The character dynamics here are so JUICY. 13.21-14.01 is, IMO, one of the most fertile grounds for fic and speculation in the entire show.
8) 2.22 All Hell Breaks Loose, Part Two. Now we’re into finales that are fantastic without reservation. Off the devastation of Sam’s death comes Dean’s iconic deal. The actual confrontation in the graveyard is good too, though it’s second to the way we’re all reeling from part one. Azazel dies, Sam and Dean are bloodied and facing down new stakes. The only thing I dislike about this episode is John’s cameo.
7) 1.22 Devil’s Trap. This is the episode that ups the ante! Azazel in John, and Dean, and Sam, and the delicious family dynamic here; the stakes are so personal, and it’s a great examination what each of them is willing to pay for their quest: an electrifying taste of what’s to come. And the music, and the sheer fucking balls of just, crashing a goddamn truck into your main characters at the end of the first season. Nice.
6) 3.16 No Rest for the Wicked. Lilith is delightfully evil. We’re on tenterhooks for Sam to save Dean, we’re narratively primed to expect him to pull off something amazing, a last-minute miracle. But—nope! Sorry! Dean gets graphically ripped apart onscreen and now he’s being tortured in Hell! Shocking and bold, and a crucial turning point in the series.
5) 4.22 Lucifer Rising. Fresh off 4.21 comes an excellent culmination of season 4′s devastation. The reveals from both Ruby and the angels, Sam draining the possessed nurse, Cas at last choosing to betray Heaven, and the final arrival of Lucifer: it all just works, really well.
4) 15.20 Carry On. Part of the reason I’m ranking this so highly might be spite. But goddammit, bad wig and worse Carry On cover aside, this is a good episode, and a really, really good series finale! The deliberate anticlimax of Dean’s death, the quiet strength in Sam’s grief, the untroubled, unrushed pacing of Sam’s recovery and aging, and Dean’s drive. Supernatural said Sam Rights, and I wept like a tiny little baby.
3) 6.22 The Man Who Knew Too Much. Adventures in Sam’s mind! Cas and Crowley and Raphael and the double cross! The taste of cosmic horror! The end of season 6 and beginning of season 7, as Sam and Dean cope simultaneously with Sam’s psychological fallout and the consequences of their most powerful ally going off the rails, is fantastic. I love the literalism and the symbolism of Sam’s reintegration: this is an unapologetically Sam episode (as are the other top four, come to think of it).
2) 8.23 Sacrifice. Sam’s heartbreaking deterioration in the church and Crowley’s disintegration are an electrifying climax to the trials. Dean and Sam’s final exchange is a breathtaking combination of raw emotion and delirium and a fascinating guilt trip. It’s a visually and conceptually stunning episode: the angels fall burning against a night sky; Sam surrenders the trials and collapses, dying.
1) 5.22 Swan Song. You knew this would be number one, I knew this would be number one, we all knew this would be number one. It’s iconic for a reason. Sam and Lucifer talking through a mirror; the loss of all hope and the sky-high stakes. Stull Cemetery is the defining moment of so, so much of the rest of the series. Dean’s loyalty gives Sam the strength he needs to bury himself alive forever with his worst nightmare, and it saves the world, and it’s the highest cost either of them has ever paid.
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3x04: Sin City
Then:
Dean killed Azazel
Now:
A nun wanders an empty church, replacing hymnals. The priest finds her and offers to walk her to her car. They both find a parishioner in the balcony who gets their attention by announcing that “God’s not with us.” He then shoots himself in the head. Ooof.
While Dean and Bobby work on the Colt, Sam informs them that he’s found sightings of demonic omens. Bobby stays behind to figure out how the Colt works while Dean and Sam take off for Ohio and the new case.
Interviewing the priest, the brothers learn that things changed in the town about two months prior --the same time they opened the devil’s gate.
The brothers then head to their motel room, where Dean runs into an old hunter friend, Richie. They banter and then they all talk shop. Whatever’s happening, doesn’t make sense. (Sidenote: Dean’s pumped that the room has Magic Fingers. Yay, bby) Dean asks about anyone in town whose whole personality has changed. Richie answers, “There’s Trotter.” He’ll be at his bar in a couple hours.
The town is anything but a boarded up factory town. It’s got coeds as far as the eye can see, and Dean’s ready to do some research. Trotter’s Bar is the epicenter of debauchery. They find the priest there.
Sam wonders what the padre is doing there. He goes where the flock is.
Dean then gets to flirt mildly with the bartender and fun fact: He likes Hurricanes. I feel like this is one part of Dean’s personality not explored in later seasons. Let the boy drink his fruity drinks, 202K!
Before anyone can react, a man walks in and shoots another man dead.
Dean tackles the assailant before he can off himself. Sam throws holy water on him, but he’s not possessed. The man admits that the victim slept with his wife. (Sam sees Dana Scully’s dad from across the bar. Man, things are REALLY WEIRD here.) (Natasha: Nooo he’s the general from Stargate!)
The cops later take the man away and tell Sam and Dean that the paper will be there shortly to take their pictures.
That’s the brothers’ cue to leave. Dean wonders where Richie is before they take off.
Richie is with the bartender. She’s taken him to her parent’s country estate. It’s secluded and has toys. Just when things are getting interesting for poor Richie, the bartender reveals she’s really a demon, and she knows he’s a hunter. WHERPS. He tries attacking, but she snaps his neck in two seconds flat. Richie!
Later at the bar, Dean forgoes eating his burger to track down the missing Richie. Sam decides to follow Trotter.
Bobby, meanwhile, is getting the Colt back into fighting shape. Ruby shows up and taunts him to test out the Colt. He does. The aim is true but the bullets aren’t right. She offers to help him with the gun.
The brothers practice seriously dangerous cell phone usage (Seriously Sammy? You didn’t put it on silent? Seriously Dean? You’re driving while not hands free? UGH.)
Dean’s back at the bar and a prostitute approaches him for a discounted good time. Dean doesn’t pay. (Or is that Sam? IDK, neither of them have to pay. Have you seen them!?) The bartender is back at work and saw the whole thing. It doesn’t deter her that Dean struck out with a prostitute and they head out for fun times elsewhere.
Sam watches Dana Scully’s dad leave his office and heads in himself to investigate. Dana Scully’s Dad Trotter appears again and there’s a slight tussle before Sam realizes that he’s also not a demon. Sam awkwardly realizes his mistake and makes his exit. Sweet dumb boy.
Dean, meanwhile, is heading down the same path as his dead buddy Richie. Dean’s no dummy though and sets up a devil’s trap. He pulls out his Latin book to exorcise her back to Hell. He doesn’t have it memorized yet and she starts up a demon wind machine. He loses the pages AND the basement door caves in. Worst Date Ever.
Later, Dean explores his new prison to the amusement of the demon trapped with him. She mocks him openly for not having an exorcism memorized.
The demon taunts Dean expertly. Dean Bean’s offended at being labeled the dumb one and I am OFFENDED on his behalf! They wait to see whose rescue is going to arrive first - Dean’s or hers.
Sam frets at the bar over his missing brother, and bribes the bartender for his whereabouts.
Meanwhile, Dean and the demon’s snarkfest marathon continues. She tells him that she didn’t even have to engage in mystical hijinks to send people in town into an evil tailspin. All she had to do was drop a few suggestions about the profit of vice to Trotter and humans took care of the rest. She describes humans as weak and corrupt.
For Constantly Weak for Dean Winchester and SYMBOLISM Science:
Sam heads inside her (other) house and finds sulfur. The game is afoot!
Meanwhile, Dean and the demon enjoy a little philosophical exchange. “Do you believe in God, Dean?” she asks him while I chew my own arm off. She sets up the apocalyptic battle from the demon perspective. Humans have wrought carnage on their world, so it’s the demons’ turn to “do it right this time.”
Sam’s back at the bar again, calling Bobby to report that he can’t find Dean. I guess the game is...not so afoot after all. The bartender offers him booze before downing a shot himself and, frustrated with the townsfolk, Sam zeroes in on the priest who’s still hanging out in the bar.
Demon Casey tells Dean that she’s faithful to Lucifer, light-bringer and the one who will raise demons up. She’s a believer. Dean oh-so-casually asks what Hell is like and the BRAVADO masking the FEAR! Jensen Ackles, your face hurts me sometimes.
For HURTSSSSS MEEE Science:
She sees right through him. “It’s a pit of despair,” she tells him frankly. “Why do you think we want to come here?”
Sam, meanwhile, is involved in a terribly awkward discussion with the priest at the bar. He’s worried about his brother and thinks he might be…..in trouble. The priest offers to bring Sam to Casey. His eyes turn black as he turns away from Sam.
The demon and Dean have settled into a friendly heart to heart at this point. She tells him that she actually likes him and thinks he did something good when he sold his soul to save Sam.
Dean tries to laugh off her real talk. He thinks it’s freeing to be damned - he can live his life any way he wants now. He’s totally not scared at all. Not at all!!!
The demon riding the priest interrogates Sam, asking him about his aspirations for the future. Yeah! Why aren’t ya in college, Sam!
Dean and Demon Casey continue to bond, and the scene takes the tone of a couple kids just chilling in the basement talking about life. Which is...actually sort of accurate.
Casey tells Dean that Yellow Eyes, a.k.a. Azazel, had a plan to bring the minions of Hell to Earth, but Dean killing him put a significant wrench in those plans. She tells him that Sam was supposed to lead the demon army. Uh. Wherps. Instead of Sam, there’s a power vacuum in Hell. Demons everywhere are fighting for the crown. “For the record,” she tells him, “I was ready to follow Sam.” And damn, if I don’t get the feeling that Dean likes her a little better because of that.
Sam and his demon priest arrive. Dean issues a warning to Sam, but Sammy doesn’t have to worry because Bobby shows up with the Colt! Bobby hands off the gun to Sam, Ruby smirking in the background. The priest breaks into the basement and smashes through the devil’s trap holding Demon Casey in. They kiss while Dean looks on in surprise.
Surprise, Dean! They’ve been lovers for centuries! Casey begs the demon priest for Dean’s life and it gives just enough delay for Sam to shoot the priest with the Colt. The priest flashes out. Dean tries to stop Sam from killing Demon Casey but Sam shoots. She flashes out as well. Remember, kids, there’s no room for love on Supernatural unless it’s DOOMED LOVE.
The next morning, Dean tries to figure out what they actually won from this hunt. There are two demons dead and one alive - and very bad - human. “Maybe these people wanna destroy themselves. Maybe it is a losing battle,” Dean opines to Bobby. He notes that Sam’s dispatch of both demons was “cold” and brings up Azazel’s words to him: When Sam came back, he might have come back different. They both agree (halfheartedly) that Sam is doing FINE and is definitely not at all concerning.
Sam and Ruby meet up in a hotel room. Sam’s suffering regrets and calls Ruby a “cold bitch.” She takes issue with this assessment, particularly since she’s saved his life a few times. I mean, knowing about Ruby aside, I fully agree here. Fun fact! The word “bitch” was used four times in this episode! Ruby continues to dangle the hope that she might be able to help save Dean from his deal. Sam levels the Colt at her.
Sam threatens to kill her, but it’s just empty words. Ruby warns him that the fight ahead won’t be easy, but she’ll be there by his side. A little “fallen angel” on his shoulder. (Shakes my head at this goddamn show.)
Where Everybody Knows Your Quotes:
Toys trump oils
A demon with a heart. Wow
You don't get it. All you got to do is nudge humans in the right direction
Want to read more? Check out our Recap Archive!
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dost pls bata do how the french mistake and spn are related
okay so the french mistake is the name of an episode from supernatural. season six episode fifteen to be precise.
its very chaotic and when i say its VERY meta, i mean it.
so to protect sam and dean winchester from an angel who would kill them, balthazar yeets and literally yeets them into an alternate dimension where they ARE jared padalecki and jensen ackles.
sam and dean's life is an episode of a show called supernatural. angels, demons, monsters dont exist. castiel does not exist in reality but misha collins is playing castiel.
jared has a goddamn alpaca. there are clips from irl jensen's show 'Days of Our Lives' on the episode. the episode is basically jared-jensen playing sam-dean who are placed into the lives of jared and jensen and are clueless about how to get out of that world. sam (jared) marries the actress who plays ruby in the show (a literal demon).
i love this dialogue please
Sam: "You're Jensen Ackles and I'm something called a 'Jared Padalecki'."
Dean: "So what? Now you're Polish?"
i cant begin to explain the chaos. a synopsis of the episode:
Dean and Sam are doing research at Bobby's House when Balthazar appears. He says that Raphael is aiming to kill all of Castiel's allies and affiliates so he gives them a key and sends them to an alternate reality to keep them out of harm's way. Supposedly, the key opens a door where he has stored the stolen Angelic Weapons of Heaven, which will help Castiel to retain control in Heaven.
When they appear in the alternate reality, Sam and Dean find themselves on the set of "Supernatural"- a show that appears to be about their lives and where everyone mistakes them for the actors Jensen Ackles and Jared Padalecki. They try to contact Castiel, but instead, encounter Misha Collins, who plays Castiel on the TV Show. Taking refuge in Jensen's luxurious trailer, they do some research about Jensen and Jared, and Dean is horrified to learn that Jensen was a soap opera star. Dean suggests they try doing the same spell Balthazar did in order to get them back to their own reality.
The crew of the show is now suspicious because "Jared" and "Jensen" are behaving out of character. Normally they don't speak to each other, they came in with a mysterious package (the saint's bones) which the crew believes are either drugs or black market organs.
"Trivia"
The tweets Misha Collins made in this episode were actually tweeted in real life.
This episode pokes fun of reality as Jensen Ackles, Jared Padalecki and Misha Collins play Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester, and Castiel respectively. Furthermore, Genevieve Cortese, the actress that portrayed Ruby, is married to Jared Padalecki.
Featured a clip of Jensen Ackles from his stint on the soap opera Days of Our Lives.
There are numerous references to this being the sixth season.
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Light My Fire - CH11
Pairing: CEO!Dean Winchester x Reader
Summary: She always thought her boss was an ill-tempered man, but when he presents her with a proposition she can’t quite deny, she gets to know him better. It’s not bad, right? Because all she has to do is being fake married to him for six months, sounds do-able, right? Right.
Warnings: Flangst, NSFW
WC: 2612
Please share your thoughts with me, I’d love to hear your feedback.
Beta’d by @deanwanddamons <3
SERIES MATSTERLIST
BECOME A PATRON ~ BUY ME A COFFEE
Y/N watches as Ruby comes back out of Dean’s office. Ruby’s smiling but her smile doesn’t quite reach her eyes. She knows that Dean wants to see Ruby first thing because he wants to make sure that she is following his instructions on booking a trip for them. And suddenly, she feels guilty because Ruby knows that they’re going on their fake honeymoon, and she kind of hopes that Ruby’s going to be okay with it.
“Oh my god,” Ruby groans, and lets herself fall into her chair, “I’m so fucking hungover.”
“Ugh, tell me about it,” Y/N agrees with her friend.
Ruby begins to work in silence and Y/N frowns. After a while she looks up from her computer screen and speaks up, “So, you wanna tell me about last night or?”
Her friend lets out a sigh, “Oh my fucking god, I’m so glad you asked!”
Y/N giggles. Ruby’s always so fucking dramatic, she loves it.
“So, did you go home with who I think you went home with?”
“My god, Y/N, it was magical! Magical, I tell you!” Ruby gushes, “But let me book that trip for you first and then we’ll go grab a coffee.”
“You okay with me going on a honeymoon?”
“Duh, I’m so happy for you! While you’re there, you can make him fall in love with you for real!”
“Ruby!”
“What?” Her friend gasps, “Just saying. I mean, have you seen how he treats you, how he looks at you? The woman who gets to marry him for real is one lucky bitch! I wish that was you because in all honesty, you deserve everything good, alright?”
“Yeah,” She says and doesn’t know what else to add to it, but looking at Ruby, she doesn’t have to because Ruby’s already on the phone with the travel agency.
*
Turns out that they didn’t have time for that coffee but they did go grab lunch at the coffee place close by and sit down on a bench right in front of their office building to have a little chat.
Y/N looks at her sandwich suspiciously. She’s still not sure if it’ll stay down. She takes a bite nonetheless, because she knows that she needs something in her stomach if she wants to survive the rest of the day.
“So, Sam,” Y/N says while she chews. She looks over to Ruby, sees her friend tense up and she sees the blush in Ruby’s face. The woman rarely blushes so it’s even cuter to see it.
“Yeah, Sam,” Ruby tucks her brown hair behind her ear and bites down on her bottom lip as not to whimper out at the details of what happened last night.
“So,” Y/N raises her eyebrow in question.
“So,” Ruby gushes.
Y/N rolls her eyes and groans out in frustration, “Ruby! My god, just tell me, I’m dying here!”
Her friend starts to giggle and the redness spreads to her cleavage.
“Did you?” She asks, hopes that Ruby will finally tell her what went down (or rather who went down) last night.
Ruby’s chewing on her bite of sandwich and speaks with her mouth full, “We wanted to, but we didn’t, no,”
“What?” The bite Y/N took almost falls out of her mouth.
“I’m telling you, he’s a real gentleman, Y/N! Said he didn’t want to take advantage of me being drunk,” Ruby takes another bite, her lips curl up around the sandwich, “But I felt it.”
“You felt it?” She frowns.
“We slept in the same bed. And he was hard because we made out.” Ruby’s grinning at the image on her mind, “God, he’s such a good kisser. Just the way I like it. Rough but tender, and he’s big.”
Okay, so they’ve established that both Winchesters are gentlemen and they are both good kissers. Great. Life’s not fucking fair that two brothers have it all and they can easily put every other men to shame.
Y/N frowns some more, but in a playful way, “Big?”
Ruby sighs, “Yeah, big hands, big feet, big—” She wriggles with her eyebrows, “—You know what!”
“Ooookay,” Y/N snorts out, “That’s too much information, but thanks for letting me know,”
“We’re going on a date tonight.” Ruby says nonchalantly, as if it’s no fucking big deal.
“You what?”
“Yeah,” Her friend smiles, “And I’m not drinking if you know what I mean,” Ruby wriggles with her eyebrows again. She should stop doing that because Y/N knows exactly what she means without that stupid eyebrow wriggling.
Y/N’s truly happy for Ruby and she’s super happy that Sam treats her right.
When they finish their lunch, they notice a limousine coming to a halt right in front of the building and Amara steps out.
Oh, no.
That’s right, Sam has a meeting with her today. She almost forgot.
“Ugh, I don’t like her at all,” She says and Ruby wrinkles her nose at Amara too.
They walk into the building right ahead of the woman, hoping to get away on time but Amara’s close on their heels and the woman already starts to drop a remark, “Nice dress, where do you get it? Thrift store? Your husband didn’t even give you enough money to buy something decent?”
Y/N bites on her tongue so not to bite back at that stupid bitch. She really doesn’t feel like confrontation, and especially not one with people who she couldn’t care less about. It’s just not worth her time or energy, nor is it worth her patience that’s running thin today. So they just walk ahead to the elevator while Amara has to report to the front desk. Crisis averted.
After her lunch, Y/N sits down to do more work when she sees Dean walking out of the meeting room. He stops at her desk and asks her to bring him coffee. He had a meeting about investing in another company on the west coast, but she thinks that it might have not gone well because he looks a little downcast.
“You okay?” She asks, and Dean snaps out of his trance.
“Huh,” He sighs, “Yeah.”
“You had anything to eat yet?” She looks at him, concerned.
“Yeah,” He breathes out, “Garth ordered pizza for the meeting.”
“Okay,” Y/N says and smiles as an attempt to cheer him up, “One coffee coming right up.”
Dean smirks at her, “Thanks, I’ll be in my office. What’s my schedule?”
“Well, you’re free for another hour.”
“Good, I need a break.”
He turns on his heels to walk into his office.
Ruby’s staring at her, “Wow, he’s not in a good mood, isn’t he?”
“Doesn’t seem like it.” She agrees.
“But he didn’t lash out, so at least there’s that.” Her friend shrugs, as she starts to type in an email.
“Yeah,” Y/N sighs, “At least there’s that.”
She doesn’t really know what it is but seeing Dean like that does not make her feel good at all. She likes the happy Dean, the playful Dean. Not a Dean who thinks he lost a goddamn war.
Walking along the hallway with Dean’s coffee in hand, she knocks at his office door first before she goes in.
He’s sitting at his desk, looking over a contract that she has placed there while he was in the meeting. He doesn’t seem to notice her.
Closing the door behind her, she walks over to him and sets the coffee on the desk, “Your coffee,”
“Huh,” Dean looks up from the papers, “Yeah, thank you.”
“Is there anything else I can do for you?” She asks but Dean’s lost in his work so she turns to leave. Doesn’t feel like disturbing him more than she has to.
“Wait,” He suddenly says, “Come back,”
She stops mid room and turns around to see him smiling.
“Sorry, I had to finish reading that paragraph,” He explains and she smiles back at him, walks back to stand beside him.
Dean moves his chair back, takes her wrist to pull her into his lap, making her yelp up and he chuckles at that. His arms are quick around her, and he rests his chin on her shoulder, “‘M glad we’re going on honeymoon tomorrow. I need a fucking break.”
“Are you okay?” She asks because he starts to worry her.
“I’m better with you here, yeah,”
She can hear him smile a little and he places a kiss on the top of her head as his hands go around her hips. He maneuvers her around on his lap so she’s straddling him and she scrambles to get off, but he holds her in place.
“Dean, someone could walk in,” Her hands are braced on his chest and she looks into his face to find a grin, bright and wide.
“No one dares to come in here, and you know it.” He whispers and pecks her lips.
That’s true. Nobody ever goes near his office unless he’s calling for them to meet him. But still, she thinks it’s a little more than inappropriate to be sitting in his lap in his office when he is her fucking boss. “Still, we shouldn’t,” She says, and tries to get away but she’s weak herself, her body wants to stay, too.
Dean cradles her face with one hand, paints his thumb along her bottom lip before he pulls her close by the back of her neck, kissing her soft and deep. She hates that she loves it. Loves his kisses. They make her weaker than she already is.
She’s getting awfully wet down there and Dean’s getting hard, she can feel the friction of his bulge against her pussy.
“Your pants,” She says as a warning because she doesn’t really necessarily want to ruin his pants with how wet she is.
He chuckles against her lips, kisses her once more, hard and demanding before he parts. He rests his forehead on hers, “You could take them off,” His hand goes to her breasts, kneads it through the fabric of her dress, fingers pinching at her nipple until they peek which in turn, makes her arch her back and drive her cunt harder into Dean’s hard cock.
“We can’t do that,” She whispers, because they really can’t, can they? “Or can we?” She adds. Doesn’t really know why she adds it, but oh god, it feels good and fuck, she’d be lying if she wouldn’t want it.
Dean grins, it’s all cocky, “I want you to,”
“But—”
He kisses her harder, deeper, making her moan into his mouth and he sucks in her tongue, making her forget where she is. Her hands work on his belt buckle and Dean pauses the kiss, their noses touch.
“That’s my girl,” He coos, and that’s not fair. He has no idea what the praise does to her.
Her hands work swiftly on his belt, and Dean’s hands are cupping her cheek as he kisses her over and over. He groans into her mouth when she grabs his hard cock in her hands. Her thumbs trails around his tip, smearing the drops of precum around his slit and over the velvety head.
“Fuck,” Dean groans, presses his lips on her as he stands up from his chair, with her still around his middle, “I gotta—”
He doesn’t even care about the contract on his desk because she lays her on top of it, only swiping at the plastic cup of coffee, sending it to the floor. She can smell the spilled liquid.
Dean lowers her onto his desk, kisses down her jaw, sucks in the sensitive patch at her throat, “I know I said I would take my time, but, fuck—” He kisses her again, “I need—”
“It’s okay,” She grins, her hand finds his hair, fingers threading through the fluff on top of his head.
His hands are restless, kneading and stroking along her legs and thighs, and he moans when his fingers find her panties and notices how wet they already are. One of his long fingers hooks around the crotch of her panties and she gasps when he threads two of his thick fingers through her bare and slick pussy lips.
Dean leaves her neck to stand up straight, his hands grab her by her knee, folds them up. Her glistening wet cunt is now bare to him.
“Jesus, look at you,” He mumbles, his eyes are dark, his lids heavy.
“Have you ever fucked someone in here?” She asks, but she doesn’t really know why she did, kind of regretting it immediately as soon as the words left her lips because she actually doesn’t want to know.
He chuckles lightly, bends down to kiss her cunt, tongue parting her folds and lips sealing around her clit. He lets go with a loud obscene smacking sound before he comes up again and licks at his lips before he speaks, “Couldn’t help myself,” His breathing is ragged, “I just fucking love how you taste,”
Dean lines himself up with her pussy and she bites on her lips when he pushes in. There’s the familiar stretch and she’s slowly getting used to it. Slowly getting fucking addicted to it.
“Oh god, fuck—” She closes her eyes and Dean leans down as he pushes himself deeper. His face is next to hers, his breathing hot against her ear.
“No,” He whispers, and at first she didn’t know what he was talking about until she realizes that it’s the answer to her question, “No, I haven’t.” He picks up a steady pace, fucks into her deep and slow, “But I always fantasized about bending you over and fucking you on this very desk.”
He fantasized about doing this? About doing it with her? Doing it to her?
“Dean—” She starts to say but Dean claims her mouth, his tongue goes in as deep as his cock does, throwing her thoughts all over the place. He fucks her harder, sending the desk skidding along the floor. And she’s so close, so fucking close.
“Christ, you feel so fucking good, I can never get enough of it,” He sucks at her throat before his tongue trails a hot and wet path to her mouth to kiss the corner of her lips, “Can you come for me, baby? Be a good girl and come on my cock, huh?” One of his hands goes to her clit, fingers rubbing circles on her little hood.
Shit.
What is he doing to her?
“Ye-ah,” She manages to stammer.
“Yeah?” Dean nose touches hers and he chuckles, “Do it, baby, come for me,”
That last baby she hears out of his mouth does the trick, she’s convulsing around him and Dean has to hold her thighs apart so as she wouldn’t crush him. Her eyes cross for a brief moment before she has to close them because of the pressure.
Oh god, what does this man do to her?
Dean chuckles and leans down, sprays kisses on her face when she comes back down from her high, “Feels so fucking good when you come around my cock.” His voice is strained and she knows that he’s close, too.
But before Dean could come, they could hear screams outside in the hallway.
Someone’s yelling.
Sam.
And then she hears Ruby who was exceptionally loud.
“Miss Shurley! You can’t go in there!” That’s definitely Ruby. She hears some footsteps, they are coming closer and closer. So many footsteps. Oh god. And she’s still here spread on his desk and Dean’s still buried deep inside of her.
She can hear Sam, “Amara! Stop!”
CH12
#light my fire#dean winchester#dean winchester x reader#ceo!dean winchester#dean winchester fic#dean winchester fan fic#dean winchester fan fiction#nathlaie writes
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