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otmaaromanovas · 5 months

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Hi! Can you give us a huge insight of Tatiana Nikolaevna's personality? I would be interested in some rare quotes said by someone who met her! (cos she is my favorite royal like ever and I'm hopeless obsessed with her 😫)

Hello! Of course, here are some of my favourite rarer quotes about Tatiana - or from Tatiana herself - which I think give a great insight into her personality....

"Tatiana Nicolaievna had holly different… character. Less serious than her elder sister she was also more positive. In her could already be discerned a strong tendency to dominate to impose her authority coquette. She saw and noticed everything, and often made observations to her sisters, who because of it nicknamed her ‘the governess'… she took great care of her appearance and was it was said that she resembled her…”She's already a woman," said the Empress about her that year. She was the favourite in the family. She was very superstitious. One day she wrote to a graphologist, a fortune teller, to ask that she inform her about the destiny in store for her. By an intermediary, the other had sent to her a note couch in these terms: "A fatal destiny awaits you" Thereafter, the Grand Duchess never stopped bombarding her tutor, Petrov with questions such as "What does that mean? How am I to interpret this letter?"" - Alexander Spiridovich, Last Years as Tsarskoe Selo, volume 2

"It was Tatiana Nicholaievna who would call N.P. Sabline by telephone to transmit ‘Papa’s’ order to come with his friends to play tennis." - Alexander Spiridovich, Last Years as Tsarskoe Selo, volume 2

"As for poor Alexei Nikolaevich, he was as if rooted to the armchair the whole time [unwell]. It was touching to see his sister, Tatiana Nicholaievna, lavishing attention on him before the luncheon." - Alexander Spiridovich, Last Years as Tsarskoe Selo, volume 2

"In [Alexandra's] eyes, as well as in those of her sister, Tatiana Nicholalevna, all that was Russian was superior to all the rest. To try, even jokingly, to lower something Russian in favour of something foreign was to expose oneself to losing her sympathy forever." - Alexander Spiridovich, Last Years as Tsarskoe Selo, volume 2

"Russian was taught by Peter Vassilievitch Petrov, whom I had had myself as a teacher at the Pavlovskoe military school. Petrov was already an elderly man, very gentle, and very good hearted. He held the Tsar's children in affection and they, in turn, were attached to him as if to a kindly relative. Often, when they were alone with him, the Grand Duchesses used to play with him, shouting, laughing, pushing him, and generally hauling him about without mercy. It was Tatiana Nicholaievna, graceful and agile as a gazelle, who would always give the signal on these occasions and direct the games. She was, at that time, a very pale little girl. One day, Petrov asked Olga Nicholaievna to name a white object for him.

My blouse, replied the Grand Duchess.

And a black object?

My slate pencil.

And a green one?

My sister Tatiana.

That really was the tint of her complexion." - Alexander Spiridovich, Last Years as Tsarskoe Selo, volume 1

"[Alexandra] herself taught them sewing and needlework, her best pupil being Tatiana, who had an extraordinary talent for all kinds of handwork. She not only made beautiful blouses and other garments, embroideries and crochets, but she was able on occasions to arrange her mother’s long hair, and to dress her as well as a professional maid." - Anna Vyrubova, Memories of the Russian Court

"Suddenly [whilst watching a cinematograph] the bigger girl [in the movie] snatched a toy from the little one who, however, held on to it and refused to give it up. Foiled in her attempts, the elder seized a spoon and pounded the little one with it, who quickly relinquished the toy and began to cry. Tatiana wept to see the poor little one so ill-treated, but Olga was very quiet." - Margaretta Eagar, Six Years at the Russian Court

"One of the under-nurses was married last year. She had come to the palace straight from her school, at seventeen years of age, and was there for nearly seven years. She was naturally very much attached to the children, and when her last day came was in floods of tears all through the day, and the children were terribly distressed to see her in such grief. The little Grand Duchess Tatiana told her she could stay on if she liked, she knew we all loved her and would be sorry to part from her ; and then she came running to me to beg me not to send dear Tegla away. I answered that she might stay if she liked, but that she had promised to marry Vladislav ; it was her own wish, and I did not think she would like to break her word. The other girls gave a little party to celebrate her leaving us, and the young man was amongst the guests. When the girl heard that he had arrived her grief broke forth again. She realised that the time of parting had come, and the children cried most bitterly. Little Tatiana Nicolaivna took a sheet of paper and a pencil, and wrote with great difficulty a letter which I translate : " Vladislav, Be good with Tegla. Tatiana." She placed this letter in an envelope and printed in large letters on the envelope, Vladislav, and sent it to him by the housemaid. I went in later to speak to the man and wish him happiness. He pulled this letter out of his pocket, and with tears in his eyes begged me to thank the little Grand Duchess, and assure her that he would never forget to be good to Tegla. All the more, because it was Tatiana Nicolaivna' s wish. He always carries the letter about with him. She came to visit us several times after her marriage and was very happy. Whenever she writes she always sends a special message to Tatiana to say that Vladislav is very good to her, and the little one looks so pleased and says, " Well, I am glad."" - Margaretta Eagar, Six Years at the Russian Court

"After coffee, I went for a walk with my pupils… They really liked to go to the shops and buy everything. Anastasia Nikolaevna was especially attracted to stored, where they sold doll shoes of various sizes… Tatiana Nikolaevna did not always accompany since the doctors found her heart was weak and she went with the Empress to take baths." - Sofia Ivanovna Tyutcheva, A Few Years Before the Catastrophe

"Alexandra's 594th letter to Nicholas, Sept 19 1916: …I do so want to get quicker well again, have more work to do & all lies upon Tatiana’s shoulders." - Joseph T. Fuhrmann, Nicholas and Alexandra: The Wartime Correspondence

The following are from Correspondence of the Russian Grand Duchesses: Letters of the Daughters of the Last Tsar by George Hawkins:

Tatiana to tutor PVP - 10 July 1906 - "Dear Petr Vasilievich! …Why did you write that I was not good? You mustn’t do that, you must write that I was a very good girl. Your devoted Naughty girl, Tatiana." -

Tatiana to PVP November 6th 1909 "…On these few lines I had 10 errors… I am so ashamed when I think about it"

Pierre Gilliard to Tatiana 25 May 1916 - "...It seems that purple is his [Dmitri Pavlovich] favourite colour… Alexis Nikolaevitch says that it is also yours…"

Letter from Alexandra to her brother and sister-in-law: 2 September 1911 …[after Stolypin's assassination] Tatiana came home very tearful and is still a little shaken whereas Olga put on a brave face throughout." - The Correspondence Of The Empress Alexandra Of Russia With Ernst Ludwig And Eleonore, Grand Duke And Duchess Of Hesse

Note from Anastasia to Tatiana - "1913 Aug. 4. My sweet Tatiana, please find out all about us and let us know through Shura about tomorrow, will we take off our caps for breakfast? Your Anastasia. Don’t forget." - Anastasia Romanov: The Tsar's Youngest Daughter Speaks Through Her Writings

Letter from Pierre Gilliard to Anastasia, Spring 1916: "…I already wrote a long letter to Tatiana Nikolaevna yesterday, but I don’t think I shall send it, otherwise I would not dare to go back to Tsarskoe Selo, I would fear for my life." - Anastasia Romanov: The Tsar's Youngest Daughter Speaks Through Her Writings

"4 December. ...The general atmosphere that lords over [us] nowadays does not inspire peace. As soon as dressings end, Tatiana Nikolaevna goes to do the injection, then sits down with K [officer]. The latter is constantly restless, first sits by the piano, playing something with one finger, chats a lot and fervently with the charming child. Varvara Afanasiyvna is appalled, what if Naryshkina walks in on this scene, Madame Zizi, she would die. Shakh-Bagov has fever, is in bed. Olga Nikolaevna sits by his bed constantly. The other couple also moved there, yesterday [they] sat by the bed and looked at a photo album. K. is being so coy. Tatiana Nikolaevna's small dear child's face cannot hide a thing, [it looks] pink, excited, Isn't this closeness, the physical contact harmful[?]. I feel scared. The others are jealous, angry, and I imagine they spread all sorts of [rumours] throughout the city and later beyond." - From the memoirs of V. I. Chebotareva

"Today Tatiana Nikolaevna walked with me upstairs after dressings, to do Popov’s dressing. The poor child is terribly embarrassed; grabs my hand: “So awfully embarrassing and frightening… one never knows whom to acknowledge and whom not to.”" - From the memoirs of V. I. Chebotareva, Sister of Mercy

"To the right of me sits the Grand Duchess Tatiana. She's a grand princess from head to toe, so aristocratic and regal. Her face is pale matte, only the cheeks are slightly rosy, as if pink satin is trying to escape from just under her thin skin. Her profile is flawlessly beautiful, as if cut from marble by a great artist. The widely set eyes provide uniqueness and originality to her face [...] The nurse's Red Cross kerchief is more flattering to her than to her sisters. She laughs more rarely than her sisters. Her face sometimes has a focused and stern expression. In those moments she looks like her mother. On the pale outlines of her face are traces of deep thoughts and sometimes even sadness. Without any words I feel that she is special, different from her sisters, despite their common traits of kindness and friendliness. I feel hers - is a wholly secluded and unique world." - From the memoirs of Sophia Ofrosimova, Sister of Mercy

The following are all from Tatiana Romanov, Daughter of the Last Tsar: Diaries and Letters, 1913–1918:

"9th June. Tuesday. Today our Mary [Vishnyakova] left us, our nanny who was with us for 16 years. She left because it is time for Aleksei to be transferred into male hands so she will not have anything to do here anymore, so she left. I feel so sorry for her."

"28 February 1916. Tsarskoe Selo. Dear Mama, Would you not want to try to put this piece of fur to your cheek? Olga . . . gave it to me when I too was suffering from headaches. It is from the grave of the orthodox Semyon Verkhotursky. Try it, maybe it will help you. If not, then return it to me tomorrow. I hope that the Lord will help you, and all will be well with you. May God bless you. 1000 kisses from your very own daughter, Tatiana."

"6 April. On Wednesday, I will have my dreary Committee, and even the thought of it makes me sweat. I do not like these horrible committees."

"22 September. My meeting is on Wednesday at 2 o’clock in the Winter Palace in Petrograd. And that knave, Neydgart —he wanted me to read something at the beginning of the committee [meeting], but darling Mama said there was no need. To think, [he wished that] I would read such idiotic, stupid things in front of 14 people! Ah!"

"13 December. I have the great pleasure to go to the Petrograd Committee today. Oh! Not wanting to [go] at all."

"...the dear children worked until the 8th hour. Tatiana Nikolaevna cut her finger with a scalpel, quite a lot of blood flowed, and although the blade was clean, perhaps dust might have ended up in the wound. Melik-Adamov and Shakh-Bagov were sitting nearby. What poetic sympathy Tatiana Nikolaevna brings! How warmly she responded when called to the telephone and was read the telegram about his injury. What a good, pure, and deep girl she is! Youth is attracted to youth, and how her eyes sparkle! Awfully nice!" - Memoirs of V. I. Chebotareva

"Before they left we kissed each other good-bye, and we all had a dim feeling that this was a crucial moment. We had been marched away separately at every previous change from boat to train, but this seemed to be different. Tatiana Nicolaevna tried to take the matter lightly. "What is the use of all these leave-takings? We shall all rejoice in each other's company in half an hour's time!"" - Sophie Buxhoeveden, Left Behind

"I was presented to the Emperor and to two of the young Grand Duchesses, Olga and Tatiana. The latter, to my idea, was the prettier of the two; but both had the simplicity of manner that is the greatest charm in every person and especially in anyone who holds such a position as theirs. They were not blasé in the least, and their faces shone with pleasure and excitement... The eldest, Olga, was very intelligent and gay and had a heart of gold; but she was also rather timid, so that her sister Tatiana, who was much more sociable, was easier to get on with at first." - Olga Voronva, Upheaval

"The Grand Duchess Tatiana was as charming as her sister Olga, but in a different way. She has been described as proud, but I never knew anyone less so. With her, as with her mother, shyness and reserve were accounted as pride, but, once you knew her and had gained her affection, this reserve disappeared, and the real Tatiana became apparent. She was a poetical creature, always yearning for the ideal, and dream- ing of great friendships which might be hers. The Emperor loved her devotedly, they had much in common, and the sisters used to laugh, and say that, if a favour were required, ''Tatiana must ask Papa to grant it." She was very tall, and excessively thin, with a cameo-like profile, deep blue eyes, and dark chestnut hair... a lovely "Rose" maiden, fragile and pure as a flower." - Lili Dehn, The Real Tsaritsa

"The Tsarevitch was a lively, amusing boy, with a wonderful ear for music, and he played well on the balalika : like Tatiana he was shy, but, once he knew and liked anyone, this shyness vanished." - Lili Dehn, The Real Tsaritsa

"October 24 - Today, Tatyana Nikolaevna first came alone: "After all, I'm going here, as if to my second home," and, indeed, she was so sweet and comfortable. She ran with me to the kitchen, where we prepared bandages. The empress laughed and said that Tatyana, like a good house dog, got used to it." - Diaries of Vera Chebotaryova

"In her physical appearance and her serious and ardent nature, she most resembled her mother. "She was also the family's manager and organizer, and possessed, more than her sisters, a highly developed sense of her position as the daughter of the Tsar." Tatiana was very different from Olga in temperament and interests. She was more confident of herself and more reserved, with more perseverance and balance. Slender, with auburn hair and clear gray eyes, she was strikingly good-looking and enjoyed the attention her beauty commanded. As the Empress became more and more an invalid, Tatiana, eighteen months younger than Olga, took over much of the responsibility for the younger children and the household. Had her life run its natural course, she would have graced many a ball." - The private world of the last Tsar, in the photographs and notes of General Count Alexander Grabbe

"Her Imperial Highness is President of the Committee for helping War-ravaged Russia, and is fully explained on the opposite page by M. Czerniewski. She is no mere figurehead, but takes the deepest and most constant interest in this splendid work." - British newspaper article

"Of the persons left behind [at Tobolsk] Tatischeff was the senior; and of the remaining part of the imperial family, Tatiana was considered senior in the place of the Grand Duchess Olga." - Examination of Sidney Gibbes, The Last Days of the Romanovs

"The Grand Duchess Tatiana Nicholaevna was very thin. You could hardly imagine anybody as thin as she was. She was twenty-one years of age, was tall, darker than the rest of the family, and elegant. The colour of her eyes was dark grey. Her eyes made her look different from all of her sisters, who showed their souls through their eyes. She was reserved, haughty, and not open hearted, but she was the most positive. She was also religious, but the motive back of her religion was: "It is my duty,' while Olga Nicholaevna had it in her heart. She was always preoccupied and pensive and it was impossible to guess her thoughts. She played the piano and played it better than anyone else in the family. However, she had only a better technique and did not show feeling in her music. She painted and embroidered well. She was her mother's favourite and the one in whom, of all the daughters, she confided the most. If any favours were to be obtained they had to be gotten through Tatiana Nicholaevna." - Examination of Sidney Gibbes, The Last Days of the Romanovs

The Grand Duchess Tatiana was about twenty. She was quite different from her sisters. You recognised in her the same features that were in her mother — the same nature and the same character. You felt that she was the daughter of an emperor. She had no liking for art. Maybe it would have been better for her had she been a man. When the emperor and empress left Tobolsk nobody would ever have thought that the Grand Duchess Olga was the senior of the remaining members of the imperial family. If any questions arose it was always Tatiana who was appealed to. She was nearer to her mother than the other children; and it seemed that she loved her mother more than her father... All of them, including Tatiana, were nice, modest and innocent girls. There is no doubt they were cleaner in their thoughts than the majority of girls nowadays." - Examination of Commissar E. S. Kobylinsky, The Last Days of the Romanovs

"Tatiana looked like the czaritza. She had the same serious and haughty look as her mother. The other daughters : Olga, Maria and Anastasia,* had no haughtiness about them. One had the impression that they were modest and kind. I also can not describe the way they dressed, as I did not notice it." - Examination of Commissar Yakimov, The Last Days of the Romanovs

"Two other commissaries went to Tobolsk to remove the remainder of the family — Tatiana had been left in charge of the invalid and household. Olga, the eldest daughter, did not enjoy her mother's confidence in the same degree. She took far more interest in literature than in the practical affairs of life, and would hide herself in a comer with a book or tell stories to the soldiers, utterly forgetting domestic trifles. Anastasia, still a child, and rather backward, could be left in Tatiana's care." - Narrative of the editor, The Last Days of the Romanovs

Happy reading! I hope this helped :)

#q #ask #answered #Tatiana Nikolaevna #Tatiana Romanov #sources #otma #history #russian history #imperial russia #romanov family #romanov sisters

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girlonthelasttrain · 4 months

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I don't exactly know what Wheel of Time is trying to do by suggesting that Liandrin was subjected to so much (gendered) violence as a girl. I don't know that this show can support a complex plotline about a victim ultimately turning into a perpetrator without falling into oversimplification. (The fact that they made up a secret son as a backstory for Liandrin does not bode well, imho. Talk about clichés.)

The most generous interpretation I can give is that Liandrin has lived all her life in fear and mistrust of everyone, essentially bargaining with and finding loopholes in oaths and institutions in order for her and her child to survive (born into a family that mistreated her -> forced into a violent marriage -> escapes to the White Tower which however won't allow her to keep her son -> eventually swears oath to the Dark). Her allegiance is not with any place she's been in, although her belief in the Red Ajah's "mission" is likely sincere; there's always, however, a more basic math at play I think. The Tower forced her to live without her son, and so Liandrin will never put the survival of the Tower, much less its rules, above her own. As a related note, I think the power of what Lanfear offers to Liandrin is precisely that it is, for once, more than survival through nominal observance of random rules. Lanfear already knows everything there is to know about Liandrin, so Liandrin doesn't need to fear discovery anymore. If she lets all her other secrets go (her fondness/animosity for Moiraine the most prominent among them), then Liandrin will be unfettered—although still bound by her oath to the Dark. But Liandrin has never known an oath-free life, has never lived without someone having the power to force her to obey. There's never been a true way out for her, so a little more (apparent) wiggle room is incredibly tempting for her.

The ungenerous interpretation is that this whole thing will turn into a sketchy distinction between two types of victims, the good virtuous ones and the bad ones, Liandrin belonging to the latter. Maybe there's a case to be made about victimhood being weaponized (I feel like it matters here that Liandrin is played by a white actress), but is it something that a fantasy show like WoT can do well without falling into easy moralizing? Again, I don't know.

ETA: I'm allowing reblogs now, but please keep any eventual addition on topic; also I kindly ask to not minimize my concerns in additions or in tags.

#this was bugging me THE WHOLE TIME I was writing my femslash exchage fic #i really don't know what to think about this!#wheel of time #liandrin guirale

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fansids · 11 months

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I feel out of love with LMK too, but I'm gonna be honest my biggest copium has been patiently trying to find the things I don't like, noting them down, and correcting them in what I'm using as my own little interpretation/AU/whatever-you-wanna-call-it It's ended up being a lot of fun, I don't know if it'd help but AUs generally assist whenever a show absolutely crashes and burns and I'll bet you have a lot of great ideas!! :0< Wishing you a very nice beverage of your favorite type b/c falling out of love for a fandom absolutely blows

Honestly both glad and sad to see that I'm not the only one who feels this way.

My current attempt at coping is rewatching seasons 1-2 and ignoring almost everything that comes after.

I currently have two aus that I was working on, so I hope I can reignite at least a little former love for the show to focus on those.

*sips apple juice out of a wine glass* thank you kindly, anon.

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kimageddon · 1 year

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Hey I wanted to thank you for your comments on the long thread about Phee/Tech and neurodivergence, etc. You managed to put into words what I couldn't about posts of that nature and why they were bothering me; I've mostly just blocked them rather than try to articulate what didn't sit right. Neurodivergence is a large spectrum and I think it's easy for everyone to assume a given ND character's experiences must align with theirs, rather than acknowledging it's going to work for some of us and not others, and that's all part of being a large, diverse group of people whose life experience at the hands of neurotypical society is going to be radically variant.

Hello Anon!

Thank you kindly for such a lovely message! I am very glad that I was able to say something. You may regret sending this, because I am jumping back on my soapbox.

I'm gonna talk about Autism, ND, mental health as it relates to Tech and the Bad Batch.

This is gonna be another long one:

For clarification, if anyone needs it, my message in the aforementioned thread was to offer a different perspective as the arguments did not make sense to me. I wanted to talk about the show and not about the people having the opinions.

I wanna clarify that my comments in regard to Autism being different was not to dismiss the experiences of anyone ND but to specify that while perhaps you(anyone reading this) would find the comment "it's called a conversation" upsetting (I know I would if it were said to me!).

However I do not think Tech would.

My reasoning is this:

Autism is treated differently in men and women and men (generally speaking) are not pressured to mask as much. (They still are, but not to the level of women from everything my research tells me.)

That being said, Tech has not really had to do that from the evidence I have seen. He Info dumps, interjects, and pretty much acts with confidence throughout the time we see him. Why would he need to mask? He was created to be a well of information and his brothers more or less accept him as he is.

To the argument that Phee somehow controls or manipulates or otherwise pushes her self on Tech in any manner.

I think that is ridiculous.

Firstly, she is gentle and kind when she speaks to him, if a little sassy. Nothing Tech hasn't encountered before from his brothers, or even dished out himself.

Hunter's introduction to us of Tech is: "He can fill your head with useless info for hours."

Which is probably the most dismissive thing said to him in the time we get to know him, but that just doesn't bother him.

In relation to this, people saying things like this are at risk of infantalising him. Which is a major problem within the Autistic and ND community.

Secondly. Tech is a grown ass man (weird clone aging aside). If he didn't like Phee or something she says, he can walk away, and I believe he would. He doesn't appear to feel the societal pressures, he's a soldier and doesn't get civilian etiquette so why would he follow it and stand around her just to be polite?

"Since when have we ever followed orders?"

We aren't children.

We might think differently and process differently, but we are people. We're not poor widdle babies that don't understand our feelings. We don't need protecting from the world and people that wanna treat Tech that way are doing he and the Autistic people that identify with him a massive disservice.

Finally, I wanted to clarify the part of my message that seemed to be the most controversial.

If something is so deeply upsetting that it affects your mental health detrimentally perhaps you need to look at your life and disengage from said thing.

From what I gather, some people have interpreted this to mean : just don't watch the Bad Batch. or "it's just a stupid show why do you care?"

This is not what I mean.

Of course care about it, get engaged with the characters and the story and let it make you feel things.

What this message means is:

If something -- whether it be a piece of media, a person/relationship, a social platform --

Is so deeply upsetting that it effects your mental health detrimentally -- if you have trouble sleeping or thinking about anything else or fall into depressive states (not depression generally speaking but because of the something specifically) and you cannot function at your usual level --

Perhaps you need to look at your life -- true happiness comes from within (i'll get to this in a sec) --

And disengage with said thing -- take a break, take a breath, drink water, have a snack. Let your emotions process and let yourself relax, then you can go back to it (provided of course it's not a toxic situation.) --

I realise this is far easier said than done, and it would take a significant amount of introspection, but I use this in multiple situations, not just here.

The TL:DR version; go touch grass, you'll feel better.

Alright, we've strayed a little from the point

Finally: Ship and let ship.

If you don't like Phee because you prefer to write Tech as not liking anyone but y/n or your OC -- go for it! That's totally valid! (They did it with Anakin so why not?) Besides, there were only a few interactions and it was a budding closeness, it's not like Tech was getting married to her!

But if you wanna make excuses that you only like the actress when she's not a direct romantic threat to your blorbo or do some mental gymnastics to try and portray her interactions as toxic, and he "deserves better" my dude, that reeks of something else entirely.

I decided to cut it here as it's getting a little longer than intended and I wanted to keep this to Tech/Bad Batch related stuff. I will make a post explaining the more controversial takes that apparently upset some people.

That should be interesting.

Again, thank you anon for the kind message, and giving me an opportunity to further clarify my thoughts.

If anyone has any questions or counterpoints, I would be interested to hear them.

#kima answers #hot take #the bad batch #tech #phee genoa #clarification #autism #neurodivergent

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exlibrisfangirl · 1 year

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Hey, hope your doing okay! I was just wondering if you had any advice about how to deal with ableist co workers? I have Crohn’s disease, so I have a weakened immune system. I have been out of work a lot recently due to flares and RSV, so I’ve been having people covering my shift. I asked someone to in the group chat and this girl said I should just quit. I kindly said I have an invisible disability and tried to be polite. She continued with ableist comments and even asked if Crohn’s was even a disability like I didn’t know what I was talking about. Just trying to think about how to handle the situation and if I should bring it up to management. If you have any advice, I’d be glad to hear it! Thanks!

Dear Nonny,

I am... SO sorry it took me forever to respond to this. I saw it, and then... shit kinda hit the fan in my personal life, and I forgot about it. *hangs head in shame*

I am actually dealing with a slightly similar situation at work at the moment. A coworker has been bullying me for a couple months now, which includes: a) giving me the silent treatment, b) undermining my authority with our clients at every opportunity, and c) talking shit about me to our other coworkers, including saying that she thinks that I am faking my medical conditions/don't actually have any "valid" medical conditions, and that she won't believe anything I say until she sees my "medical records" (which, of course, she has no right to demand). I have just recently met with my boss and HR and filed a formal grievance. I'm still awaiting the outcome, but, in the meantime, my boss has changed my schedule so I don't have to work with that coworker.

Unfortunately, this is not my first rodeo, and I've learned a lot over the years regarding how to deal with workplace/coworker issues as a chronically ill and disabled person.

Here's my advice...

First and foremost, know your company's policies on bullying/harassment and workplace discrimination, as well as your state/federal rights. (I don't know what country you live in, but I've dealt with this in the USA and in the UK, and I know they have similar protections in place. Here's an overview of your federal rights in the USA from the ACLU website.) At my workplace, in our staff handbook, there is a section which outlines our code of conduct and explains that any employee can face disciplinary action - up to and including immediate termination - for violating any of those expectations. Bullying and harassment are specifically mentioned. There is also a section which explains our rights as employees, including disability rights and what to do if we believe we have been discriminated against and/or wrongfully terminated.

Secondly, document EVERYTHING. Document what this coworker says to you and when. If there were witnesses, document that, too. If/when you choose to bring your boss/HR into it, they may ask for specific details, dates, and whether or not there were any witnesses present. I keep a running list in the note-taking app on my phone, so that I can easily access it during meetings, as well as copy and paste easily into emails.

Last, but not least: in my experience, the earlier you involve management the better, and be persistent. If you let the behavior go unchecked for a long time before you say anything, your boss *might* interpret that as "it must not be thaaat bad, so I can put it on the back burner". Make it very clear from the beginning that you a) want to be there/want that job, b) know your rights, and c) expect action to be taken and follow-up to take place. Employers generally do not want to risk being sued (or risk losing employees... or at the very least risk getting a bad reputation, which might deter potential future employees), so this will usually get them to take your concerns seriously and address them promptly. If that is not the case, and your workplace has an HR representative/department, telling your boss you'd like to meet with HR will likely do the trick; your supervisor/boss doesn't want to get in trouble with HR. The same goes for your union rep, if you are part of a labor union. Don’t hesitate to seek support from higher up the ladder (e.g. your boss's boss, etc.) if your boss doesn't seem to be taking you seriously or isn't taking prompt action to address your coworker's behavior.

Let me make this very clear: You don’t owe your coworker SQUAT. She is not your boss. She has no right to your personal medical information, and you do not owe her an explanation. If you really want to, you could perhaps send her a link to an educational website where she can read more about your condition on her own time, but please don't waste any further time and energy trying to educate her. If she truly wants to learn, she will. If she just wants to be an asshole (which is what I suspect is the case), she won't even bother reading the info you provide. Either way, your coworkers do not have the right to demand details or proof of your disabilities/illnesses, and you should not have to disclose personal medical information to your coworkers in order to be treated with respect and dignity in your workplace.

Read it... and then read it again. And again. And again.

You should not have to disclose personal medical information to your coworkers in order to be treated with respect and dignity in your workplace.

Feel free to plagiarize me and borrow/quote/adapt as much of this as you like for use with your coworkers and management. (Is it still plagiarism if I give you permission? 🤔)

I hope this has helped, even just a little, and I truly hope your situation improves soon! Stay strong, Nonny. Spoonie solidarity! 🥄💜

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dyinginlava · 3 years

Text

Analysing “Let Me Be Your Vassal” (aka that one Dream & Wilbur conversation)

Wherein Cy decides going line by line through a scene from five months ago is a wonderful idea

Alright, let’s go! Recently I went back to watch Wilbur’s ‘Am I The Villain?’ video, since it was the first DSMP video I actually watched and I noticed something that made me actually go and find the vod from October 8th to specifically watch it: the details of Wilburs conversation with Dream where he asks for the TNT. Now, this did happen about five months ago now, but I think it would be good to look at this scene both with further character information we have now, and hopefully to clarify some things that newer fans might not be aware of! There’s also the fact that c!Wilbur is likely returning to the story soon.

I will be using quotes with timestamps to support my analysis, from this video. When [...] is used, it is to indicate an irrelevant tangent or repetition. Also, I feel it is important to note that this analysis is not meant to indicate moral judgement in any way: it is intended as a unbiased look at character actions and motivations.

First, let’s establish the exact situation here. At this point in time, we’re before the festival, and Dream has volunteered to help Pogtopia and has already given Technoblade supplies. He had also written a book to Tommy wherein he stated he didn’t support Schlatt due to his power-hungry ambitions, unlike Wilbur. After being seen as a villain in the last war, he didn’t want to become publicly involved especially through breaking a peace treaty, and instead offered to help from the shadows. He also gave Tommy his crossbow and some armour along with the book. While some may doubt his intentions as stated, I have reason to believe he’s being honest, as will be mentioned later. (Information taken directly from the book Tyrant, given to Tommy by Dream).

On Wilbur’s side, he’d just had his ‘then let’s be the bad guys’ moment after seeing Schlatt announce the festival, talking with Tommy on the way back to Pogtopia.

“We burn the place to the fucking ground!” - Wilbur 1:10:50

He starts making a plan:

“Okay, here’s the plan, right? Dream, Dream is on our side, Dream has TNT, Dream has everything, right? I say, we talk to Dream, and we ask him, very nicely, very kindly, ‘Dream, give us all the TNT you have’” - Wilbur 1:12:20

“The only reason Dream is working with us is because of the fact that we are the enemies of his enemies! That’s it! That’s all that joins... this!” - Wilbur, to Tommy 1:14:30

I feel a need to note here, that anything Wilbur says to Tommy about their allies shouldn’t be taken at face value: at this point his paranoia has begun clouding his view, as he also distrusts Tubbo, and later even doubts Tommy.

“Everyone who’s claiming to be on our side, they’re lying to us! Tubbo? he’s lying to you man! He would drop us at the second he realises that we’re not in the lead anymore!” - Wilbur, to Tommy 1:16:10

He has no proof to back up his claim about Dream, and personally I’m inclined to not believe his claim, seeing as Dream previously had no issue with L’Manberg after the peace treaty.

After some tunnel shenanigans happen, Wilbur asks Dream to talk privately: the conversation starts at 1:31:30

The conversation begins with Wilbur informing Dream about the festival, which he was previously unaware of. Dream laughs at the mention of the festival being a celebration of democracy, but whether this is because of his disdain for Schlatt or a personal dislike of democracy is unclear (question for another time: is c!Dream a monarchist? The SMP is technically ruled by a king after all, but they fulfil more of a neutral peacekeeping role in general. Theocracy???).

Wilbur then asks Dream if he thinks he and Tommy are the bad guys in the situation, and like Tommy, he disagrees. Wilbur proceeds to explain his reasoning, and then asks Dream what he thinks.

“I think that sometimes, a ruler is unfit, and that causes problems” - Dream 1:32:50

Wilbur then starts trying to persuade Dream to help him.

“Dream, I think you have vested interest though, I think that you would enjoy there to be conflict between Manberg and Pogtopia. And you know what, I’m here to facilitate that!” - Wilbur 1:33:00

Dream immediately denies this, and returns to talking about Schlatt.

“I don’t— Jschlatts a little bit more ambitious than you I’d say” - Dream 1:33:20

Note that at this point, Tommy meets up with Wilbur but is not in vc. Ignoring what Dream has just said, Wilbur makes his pitch:

“Dream, Dream, let me be your vassal! Dream, I understand you have a lot of TNT?” - Wilbur 1:33:25

Dream confirms that he has TNT.

“Dream, I want to be your vassal, I want to set this up, I want to rig the city” - Wilbur 1:33:40

This is the first time Wilbur mentions using the TNT to destroy L’Manberg. I also want to point out the use of the term ‘vassal’ here, as while the line itself is very well known, I’ve yet to see someone point out the relevant definition here is ‘a person or country in a subordinate position to another’ which you might notice, isn’t really the case here. Wilbur is asking Dream to supply him with something, there’s nothing subordinate about it. It could be that he’s implying that he’ll owe Dream for the favour, or it could be him seeing it as ‘helping’ Dream by destroying L’Manberg, as we’ve established his paranoia is leading him to see his allies in a negative light.

The two decide to meet at Pogtopia, and Tommy speaks up for the first time in the conversation.

“Dream, Dream don’t give it to him. It’s not right!”- Tommy

“Tommy it’s too... I have to.” - Dream 1:33:50 (overlapping)

‘I have to’ is an interesting line, and I’m assuming he’s referring to the promise he made to assist Pogtopia by supplying them. It does highlight how, at this point in time, Dream still seems hesitant about the plan.

Wilbur then starts talking to Dream but abruptly switches to talking to Tommy instead.

“Dream, I appreciate ... cause you see Tommy, the thing you’re not understanding is Dream only gave you that gear so that you could cause this conflict! You see, this is what it’s all about, Dream doesn’t want us to win! Dream just wants both Pogtopia and Manberg to be weak! [...] and Dream I’m not scolding you on this, it’s smart, you’re smart..” - Wilbur 1:34:00

To clarify my stance on this to people who are newer to the fandom, during Pogtopia, Dream and Tommy were actually on good, even friendly terms. It’s not until Dream joined Manberg that they became enemies again. Personally, I see this as Wilbur trying to make Tommy distrust Dream just as he did with Tubbo, although interpretations may differ. Wilbur complimenting Dream can be seen as trying to get on his good side and/or trying to persuade Dream that he wants to help Wilbur with the TNT.

“I’m here to help you, I’m here to weaken both of us!” - Wilbur 1:34:25

Dream then gets a chance to speak.

“I do want Pogtopia and Manberg to be nothing more, and I want L’Manberg to be... something” - Dream 1:34:40

Tommy asks why he wants L’Manberg back after he fought against them over it before.

“Schlatt is ambitious, and that’s a bad thing. He wants power, he wants land, he wants to expand. You having your own little server [...] that’s fine by me!” - Dream 1:34:55

Here Dream claims that due to Schlatt being power hungry he stands against him, but didn’t have an issue with L’Manberg just existing. I’m inclined to believe this claim, as it matches up with his actions in between the war and the elections. He also claims to have had a change of heart about L’Manberg, which again, seems to line up with his actions.

Wilbur then lets out a very evil sounding laugh, very melodramatic, I applaud cc!Wilbur for it. He then says something that I think is extremely important to this analysis, and part of why I made it in the first place.

“Dream, this has made me ambitious! If I’m taking power again I will be ambitious! Let me blow it up, let me destroy it all!” - Wilbur 1:35:15

Now considering what both Wilbur and Dream have been saying, there a very obvious conclusion you can come too here: Wilbur is claiming that he’d be just as bad as Schlatt if he was back in power, that there would be no getting the old L’Manberg back, that Dream would be better off helping his plan. Now obviously Wilbur isn’t evil— he’s paranoid, angry, and desperate— but this is what he claims to Dream, who’s knows he’s been willing to fight for L’Manberg before and has said he (Dream) wants to avoid fighting L’Manberg again. I know a lot of c!Wilbur fans get annoyed at people saying Wilbur manipulated Dream during Pogtopia, but you can’t deny that this moment specifically is manipulative: he’s specifically lying about his intentions to convince someone to help him. And it works! Dream arrives, and hands over the TNT to Wilbur.

Wilbur heads back to the entrance to Pogtopia, where Tommy holds him at bowpoint before Dream steps in, handing Wilbur a shield. Tommy talks about how they can rebuild L’Manberg rather than destroying it, but Wilbur laughs at it. Dream turns to leave.

“Dream, I will do you proud” - Wilbur 1:36:55

Dream offers to help him if he needs it, and Wilbur warns him about the festival. Dream leaves the game, marking the end of the conversation at 1:37:41.

When heading back into Pogtopia, Wilbur talks to chat about Dream being a ‘good guy’ but also repeating what he said before about Dream just wanting both sides to be weak.

Now that the main analysis is done, I did want to mention a few things that didn’t really fit within the main body for whatever reason: not enough evidence, may be biased etc. For one thing, I definitely noticed a shift in how Wilbur spoke to Dream, from initially just asking him for TNT to almost acting like the TNT was Dream’s idea. This could tie into the manipulation I noted, or it could just be a result of his paranoia causing him to misinterpret what Dream really wants. Or both! As I mentioned before, Wilbur’s narration can’t really be trusted because of this, but what we can do is compare actions and words: if what a person says their motives are lines up with how they act, then they’re probably being honest. There’s also the matter of context— Dream claiming to Eret that he’s always wanted everything to be Dream SMP territory when dethroning them doesn’t make much sense if you compare it to how he acted about L’Manberg after the war, at least until you realise he’s talking to the king of the Dream SMP and trying to play into what he thinks she wants— he even emphasise that them being able to take over after the war between Manberg and Pogtopia is only a possibility.

Anyway, this took a while but was fun to write, and hopefully even if you don’t agree with my personal interpretation of these events, looking at the quotes will hopefully be helpful for coming to your own conclusions! :D

#dream smp #dsmp #dream smp analysis #Wilbur soot #dreamwastaken #my analysis #Pogtopia

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todomitoukei · 3 years

Text

Japanese vs. English Dabi A 293 Comparison

Chapter 293 gave us another great speech by Dabi, filled with all kinds of information. Similar to my post for the previous chapter, the official translation for chapter 293 has, unfortunately, once again made some changes in regards to Dabi’s speech due to its bias that I would like to share and explain here to give a better understanding of Dabi’s actual character rather than just leaving it at his American version.

Because Dabi said so much in this chapter and we will be comparing the panels from the Japanese version and the official English translation and taking apart the Japanese phrases, the rest of the post is under the cut (this post may or may not be just below 6k words)

The interaction begins with a short exchange between Dabi and Shouto as the former is hugging his younger brother mid-air while the others are still on the ground trying to take down Machia. In the official translation, Dabi begins by pointing this situation out to Shouto.

The two panels aren’t too different from the Japanese version, but this is another case of lost nuance. So here’s the original for comparison:

The speech bubbles read:

「向こうは楽しそうだなァ」

「可哀想になァ」

「おまえはこんなに辛いのに」

Breaking down the first line we get

「向こう ; mukou」-> other side; other party

「は ; wa 」-> topic marker particle

「楽しそう ; tanoshisou 」-> looks fun

「だ ; da 」-> casual form of です (desu); be; is

「なァ ; naa 」-> sentence ending particle; expresses emotion/sentiment

= “The others seem to have fun, huh?”

Then we have the second line:

「可哀想に ; kawaisou ni 」-> pitiable; poor (interjection)

「なァ ; naa 」-> sentence ending particle; expresses emotion/sentiment

= “Poor thing, huh?”

And the third line:

「おまえ ; omae 」-> you

「は ; wa」-> topic marker particle

「こんなに ; konnani 」-> so; like this

「辛い ; tsurai 」-> bitter; painful; heart-breaking

「のに ; noni」-> even though

= “Even though it’s so painful for you.”

Someone made a post a few days ago where they made an interesting note about this part, specifically that last line, that I think is worth mentioning here: this situation is Dabi comparing his own past to Shouto’s present. Touya was in pain for so long until he burned to death because no one helped him (and by that I mean an adult that could’ve actually helped him and not his younger siblings). Similarly, Shouto has been in pain for so long and now that it’s especially obvious to those around him as he is in the process of being burned, no one is helping him and instead, they continue fighting each other. And while Dabi doesn’t know the extent of this, it’s true that Shouto has been vocal about his family’s circumstances and yet no one’s ever done anything about it. So while Dabi at this moment is primarily referring to the fact that in this very instant no one is immediately by Shouto’s side to save him, it’s also unintentionally pointing out how no one in charge ever looked at the teenager with a huge scar on his face who openly hates his father so much and thought to maybe at least ask him about it.

You can argue that that is interpreting too much because “Dabi doesn’t care about him” - but I think that Dabi not knowing enough about Shouto and seeing him as nothing but “Endeavor’s doll” and Dabi recognizing that Shouto is in a similarly bad situation as Dabi are two statements that can coexist, especially since he is right in saying that right there no one is helping Shouto. And, again, based on his broadcast and how much his speech has changed to be more polite and humble in contrast to his usual direct, rough ways, it’s important to recognize that Dabi has an understanding of people (and how to get to them).

So while his mind might be too focused on his hatred for Endeavor, there might also still be that ability to acknowledge that those around him are hurting, too. This is an important problem within the fandom (and outside of it) as far as vocabulary goes - a lot of people throw around the word empathy and how awful it is when someone lacks it. But empathy is the ability to feel someone else’s emotions. And you don’t need to actually feel what they are feeling in order to recognize their emotions, which is far more important. This understanding of someone else’s emotions is sympathy. Compassion, on the other hand, is not just understanding someone’s emotions, but also trying to alleviate someone’s negative emotions. So even if Dabi doesn’t care about people, he can still recognize when someone is in pain.

After this, we get Shouto’s only line of that chapter, and as much as I wished he was given more lines, this one’s so good, it’s okay there isn’t more:

Above you can see the English translation having Shouto say “But... you’re... burning up... too!”

For comparison, here is this same part in Japanese:

Starting with Shouto��s line, we got「てめェ。。。こそ。。。体が。。。焦げて。。。！」

This line already broke itself apart! How nice.

「てめェ ; temee 」-> you

「こそ ; koso 」-> for sure; emphasizes preceding word

「体 ; karada 」-> body

「が ; ga 」-> subject marker particle

「焦げて ; kogete 」-> to burn; to get burned (the dictionary form of this is 「焦げる」(kongeru), the te-form is used here to leave the sentence trailing)

= “YOUR body... for sure… will… get burned…!”

The reason I’m saying this line is so important is the emphasis on the “you” part through the usage of koso. The general content of the sentence already tells us this, but that emphasizing nuance doesn’t exist in English (unless you bold, italicize, and underline it). The line is important because we’re shown someone who is in the process of being burned alive, and yet his worry is on the person trying to kill him rather than anything else. He isn’t trying to argue with him, isn’t trying to protect himself - he’s simply saying: this is hurting you. It’s interesting because in the eyes of those around him, Shouto is the one hurting the most. But to him, it’s Touya who is hurting the most. To him, this isn’t the hero-to-be Shouto being fought by the villain Dabi. This is big bro Touya hurting himself for the sake of getting at their awful dad. And little bro Shouto is only thinking about his big bro.

Now for Dabi’s response, we get the line that particularly stuck out to me as far as the English translation goes: “Seriously, it’s great that you were raised with love.” What? If you read the fan translation, you might remember this line as “You’ve grown up to be so considerate - I’m happy for you little bro” - so which one is more correct? If you guessed the fan translation then, unfortunately, you are correct!

The Japanese line reads 「優しく育って嬉しいよ」

「優しく ; yasashiku 」-> ; tender; gentle; kind (adverbial form of「優しい」(yasashii))

「育って ; sodatte 」-> to be raised; to grow up; (te-form of「育つ」to indicate reason & means (this part results in the second part of the sentence))

「嬉しい ; ureshii 」-> happy; glad

「よ ; yo 」-> sentence ending particle; shows emphasis

= “I am glad because you grew up kindly”

First of all, an adverb is nothing other than an adjective that is directly affecting/describing the verb it precedes. So to understand that in reference to this sentence, you can ask the question “how was he raised?” - with the response being “kindly.” If you wanted to say “raised with kindness” on the other hand, you would have to turn the adjective into a noun. That part of the phrase would then be 「優しさで育って」As you can see, that’s not what it says in the original version.

More importantly, the word “love” is not part of this, so I don’t know why that word is used here. It really gives off a wrong understanding of what is actually being said here. The official translation makes it sound like Dabi is saying “I’m glad you were raised with love, while I wasn’t” sort of like a complaint?

We still don’t know exactly what Touya’s upbringing was like, but we do know that things gradually got worse over time, so with the assumption that he was raised in a more positive (not good, just better in comparison) environment than Shouto, the English statement then doesn’t make sense since he was “loved” too for a long time.

Besides, he is saying that in direct response to Shouto displaying his worry for Dabi, which says nothing about how he was raised but everything about what kind of person he is (a kind one).

Furthermore, it leaves out the part where Dabi says he’s happy about this. Instead, he just says “it’s great” - which is more something used when you can acknowledge a situation being good for someone else, even though you don’t have any particular feeling about it. It’s very objective, yet in the original, he is stating his emotions with this.

The official translation, in my opinion, just ends up turning the two against each other (more specifically turning Dabi against Shouto), when in reality, Dabi is happy that Shouto shows compassion for him here, despite Dabi currently trying to kill him. In other words, he is surprised by Shouto’s concern for him and happy to be proven wrong about him.

Next, we got「俺は大丈夫今とても幸せだから。」

「俺 ; ore 」-> I

「は ; wa 」-> topic marker particle

「大丈夫 ; daijoubu 」-> alright

「今 ; ima 」-> now

「とても ; totemo 」-> very

「幸せ ; shiawase 」-> happy

「だから ; dakara 」-> because (indicates a reason for something)

= “I’m alright, I’m really happy now, so...”

There are two things to note here in relation to the previous phrase. First of all, notice how both phrases include the word happy. In the first phrase, the Japanese word is ureshii, whereas in this phrase it’s shiawase. Once again, this is a question of nuance.

Ureshii is more of an immediate feeling that you feel in that exact moment. It’s a feeling that isn’t going to last forever (for example the joy you feel when you receive a gift).

Shiawase, on the other hand, is a long-term happiness.

The way to interpret why he is using both these terms is that he uses ureshii as his reaction to Shouto showing that he cares. He most likely didn’t anticipate for Shouto to say something like that, so signaling his concern for Dabi made the latter feel joy in that very moment.

So what about the happiness he talks about in the second phrase, how is it different from the first one? Clearly, Dabi is not exactly someone you would describe as happy when looking at the overall picture. I think one possible explanation as to what the shiawase here refers to is that Dabi has accepted his situation. While it wouldn’t be accurate to describe his state as one of having moved on from the past - clearly - at the very least, through admitting to his past and having distanced himself from that dark place, he has been able to now be in a better situation, where he is allowed to just live rather than trying to prove himself to someone day after day.

The second thing to note is that you might be wondering why I ended the sentence with “...” when the official translation is “I’m fine, because I’m really happy right now.”

Well, it’s kind of an odd sentence, isn’t it? The sentence as it is right there is just giving us a reason. But a reason for what? In Japanese, it’s okay to omit the main clause (the phrase that would follow after this to explain what you just gave a reason for) when it’s obvious what you’re talking about.

This confused me for a little bit until I thought about what sentence came before this one. Right before this Dabi says “I’m glad you were raised kindly.” The sentence we’re looking at right now is an extension of that. And what came before that sentence?

Shouto saying: “Your body will burn too.”

See what I’m getting at?

As explained before, Shouto is essentially telling Dabi “I know you want to kill me, but this is going to kill you.” Now if you add Dabi’s two phrases to that, you get his response as “I’m glad that you’re so considerate. That makes me really happy, so it’s alright if I die.”

Many people have pointed out before that Dabi doesn’t care about whether or not he will make it out alive and this is essentially him confirming just that. His only goal is to ruin Endeavor and knowing he is doing that is enough for him to accept death.

He then continues to explain that joy of his with the next sentence:「見ろよあの顔」

「見ろ」-> look (volitional form)

「よ」-> adds extra emphasis after volitional form

「あの」-> that

「顔」-> face

= “LOOK at that face!”

With his goal being all about destroying Endeavor, seeing this man look so defeated right there is the first proof for Dabi that his plan has worked out. While he doesn’t know yet what the actual consequences for Endeavor are going to be after this, he certainly has damaged him.

The next line reads:「最高傑作のお人形が失敗作の火力に負けて死にそうだってのに。。。！」

「最高傑作 ; saikoukessaku 」-> masterpiece

「の ; no 」-> hierarchy particle (the word before is the general noun, the word after the specific noun)

「お人形 ; oningyou 」-> doll

「が ; ga 」-> subject marker particle

「失敗作 ; shippaisaku 」-> failed creative work

「の ; no 」-> particle to indicate possession, works like an apostrophe

「火力 ; karyoku 」-> firepower

「に ; ni 」-> indirect object marker

「負けて ; makete 」-> being defeated (te-form because another verb follows)

「死に ; shini 」-> going to die

「そうだって ; soudatte 」-> I’m saying it’s so

「のに ; noni 」-> shows disappointment (“If only that weren’t the case”)

= “I say it’s a shame that the masterpiece doll is about to be defeated and die by the firepower of the failed creative work.”

A lot of people take issue with Dabi yet again referring to Shouto as a “doll” here. Obviously, that isn’t a nice thing to say, but please keep in mind that Dabi doesn’t really know Shouto and with that also doesn’t know how Shouto feels about Endeavor. All Dabi sees is Shouto being a hero-to-be, just like Endeavor has planned. Keep in mind that Dabi used to be in Shouto’s shoes, which makes looking at Shouto be like looking in a mirror and seeing young Touya trying so hard to be what his father expects of him, yet failing over and over again. They were both born for that selfish purpose. They were never born to be people, but only born to be what their father needs them to be. And now that Dabi has broken free from that role, it’s natural for him to describe Shouto’s position as such to emphasize it in case the others haven’t understood that this is the reason for their existence and them being right there in that exact moment.

The final part says「グプっ。。。なァ見ろって！壊れちまってるよ！！ははは！！」

「グプっ ; gupuu 」-> special effects sound (I will explain this one in a second)

「なァ ; naa 」-> when placed at the start of a sentence it’s an attention seeker, kind of like a “hey!”

「見ろ ; miro」-> look (volitional)

「って ; tte 」-> to say (in casual conversation this can be used to repeat what one has just said to stress one’s own quote; can show frustration)

「壊れちまってる ; kowarechimatteru」-> be broken (unintentionally; regretfully)

「よ ; yo 」-> sentence ending particle to show emphasis

「ははは ; hahaha 」-> laughing sound

= “Hey, I said LOOK! He is completely broken, hahaha!”

As mentioned in the translation comparison for the last chapter, the chimatteru indicates that the verb it attaches to has happened unintentionally or has yielded regrettable results. We know that it is Dabi’s intention to hurt Endeavor - so him being broken is neither unintentional nor is it regrettable to Dabi.

So in this case it’s not so much about how Dabi feels. Instead, it’s probably more fitting to say that it’s about Endeavor. This situation has broken Endeavor (which is regretful), even though it had never occurred to him that the past could come back to haunt him (he has not intended for this to happen).

[edit because someone pointed out that (as mentioned for the 292 comparison) chimatteru can also be used to indicate something has been done completely, so in this case he is saying Endeavor is completely broken]

Now for the part that I neglected before: the special effects sound gupuu. The reason I have been holding off an explanation is simply that it’s not necessarily that important for the sentence, however, when I looked this up this was the result:

Yes, you’re reading that correctly: *slurp*

I had a good laugh about that. The holy trinity of the slurping brothers is complete (albeit Dabi doesn’t have the noodles to go with it)

Anyway, back to the serious stuff!

Next, we get this big panel of Dabi with the three speech bubbles. Notice that there are several ha to indicate that he is laughing.

The speech bubbles all put together read:「焦凍！！俺の炎でおまえが焼けたらお父さんはどんな顔を見せてくれるかなァ！？」

「焦凍 ; shouto 」-> Shouto

「俺 ; ore 」-> I

「の ; no 」-> particle to indicate possession, works like an apostrophe

「炎 ; honoo 」-> flames

「で ; de 」-> by

「おまえ ; omae 」-> you

「が ; ga 」-> subject marker particle

「焼け ; yake 」-> to burn

「たら ; tara 」-> when (focuses on the results that can come from this first part)

「お父さん ; otousan 」-> dad

「は ; wa 」-> object marker particle

「どんな ; donna 」-> what kind of

「顔 ; kao 」-> face

「を ; wo 」-> direct object marker particle

「見せて ; misete」-> to show (te-form to connect to the next part)

「くれる ; kureru」-> something was done for the speaker (being shown)

「かなァ ; kanaa 」-> I wonder

= “I wonder what kind of face dad will show me, when you get burned by my flames, Shouto!?”

The official translation added the “burn you to ash” part, which just adds more harshness to this than there already is. I’m not exactly opposed to that as I do recognize that he is being harsh here, however, this overall theme of adding words to make the villains sound harsher is just not what a translator is supposed to do so it is important to point it out.

Also notice the kureru, which is used when something was given to or done for the listener (i.e. a favor). Previously, Shouto has pointed out that Dabi would not survive his attempt at burning Shouto, either, and yet here he is wondering specifically what face Endeavor will show him. He isn’t just wondering what face this man will make, but what his reaction would be that his own failure has killed his masterpiece.

After Deku interferes we get this panel of Dabi and this is where the conversation between him and Shouto ends and his speech to Deku starts.

The Japanese version essentially says the same as the translation:「他所の家に首突っ込むなよ！」

「他所」-> another place; outside (one’s family or group)

「の」-> particle to indicate possession, works like an apostrophe

「家」-> family

「に」-> in

「首突っ込む」-> expression to poke one’s nose into another’s affair; lit.: “to thrust one’s neck into something”

「な」-> sentence ending particle; expresses emotion/sentiment

「よ」-> sentence ending particle; shows emphasis

= “Don’t stick your neck (nose) into other people’s family!”

After this, we get the part where Deku gives his speech with the “And guess what?! You’re not Endeavor!” part that was supposed to… reach what exactly?

Someone pointed out that this wasn’t supposed to be an “It’s your power!” 2.0 speech, because with Shouto, Deku wanted to get to him and help him. With Dabi, on the other hand, he is saying (and he literally is saying this) that Endeavor is trying to be better. And Dabi not being Endeavor means that Dabi is not trying to be better. That, in turn, means that Deku is watching this Endeavor, the one that is trying to be better, but someone like Dabi who isn’t trying isn’t something worth watching.

Anyway, regardless of what the point of that phrase was, Dabi’s reaction is mocking this obvious statement

The Japanese line says「はははそんな事が誰でもわかる！！」

「ははは ; hahaha 」-> laughing

「そんな ; sonna 」-> such

「事 ; koto 」-> thing

「が ; ga 」-> subject marker particle

「誰でも ; daredemo 」-> anyone

「わかる ; wakaru」-> to understand

= “Hahaha, anyone understands such a thing!”

Continued by this part.

The first line here says「でも俺はかわいそうな人間だろ！？」

「でも ; demo 」-> but

「俺 ; ore 」-> I

「は ; wa 」-> topic marker particle

「かわいそうな ; kawaisou na 」-> pitiable; poor

「人間 ; ningen 」-> human

「だろ ; daro 」-> don’t you think?

= “But I am a pitiable human, don’t you think!?”

What’s interesting to note about this line is the use of ningen. Normally, you would more likely use the word「人」(hito), meaning person, when you put another word in front of it. After all, when you talk about another person (much like I am using the word right now) it’s obvious they are human, so you wouldn’t need to use the word human.

With that, Dabi specifically using the word human here is done in order to humanize himself to Deku. Not only is he asking “hey, don’t you pity me at least a little?” but rather he is saying: “I get that you think I’m just some low-life villain, but I am a human being with valid feelings, so don’t just ignore them because you don’t see me trying.”

Again - Dabi chooses his words carefully and this is no exception.

If you paid extra close attention, you might have noticed that the word kawaisou gets used again. But did you spot the difference? While in the first example the word is written in kanji as 「可哀想」now it’s completely written in hiragana. Why is that? You might wonder, and I did too. Keep in mind that the first time the word gets used here (written in kanji), Dabi is referring to Shouto. This time (written in hiragana) he is referring to himself. Kanji are generally used because it makes texts easier to read since there are no spaces in Japanese. Much like the rest of us, Japanese people are also born with zero kanji knowledge and learn about them as they grow up. Because of this, books for children tend to just be in hiragana (the letter Kota writes to Deku thanking him for having saved him is also written in just hiragana) so they can easily read them. With that, a text in all hiragana gives off a more childish, cute, innocent kinda feel.

Obviously, in spoken Japanese, you can’t hear that he is saying this word in hiragana. But we know that he is. So aside from him using the word human to make him more, well, human, he is also saying the word pitiable in an innocent way, which furthers the image he is trying to create of himself; that of an innocent human being that has been wronged. Because clearly, someone has to help the heroes see that villains are also people. As mentioned before, this is a common theme of the League of Villains and has most recently been brought up by Toga’s question to Uraraka of whether or not the heroes saw Twice as a person. Dabi is, in a way, asking that same question, just with several exclamation marks.

The second line says「正義の味方が犯した罪それが俺だ！」

「正義 ; seigi」-> justice

「の ; no 」-> particle to indicate possession, works like an apostrophe

「味方 ; mikata 」-> supporter

「が ; ga 」-> subject marker particle

「犯した ; okashita 」-> committed

「罪 ; tsumi 」-> crime

「それ ; sore 」-> that

「が ; ga 」-> subject marker particle

「俺 ; ore 」-> I

「だ ; da 」-> casual form of です (desu); be; is

= “The crimes committed by the champion of justice: that’s me.”

That first part seigi no mikata is sort of a set expression, but I wanted to break it down so you can see what the actual words are. It’s generally translated as champion of justice, knight in shining armor, crime avenger, or hero. Hero is obviously not the right translation here, since they just use the word hero for the profession. Champion of justice is just the closest to the actual words, hence I chose that translation.

The official translation is once again being biased with this sentence, this time though not so much to make the villains look worse, but to make a hero look less bad. While the Japanese version says that this “champion of justice” aka Endeavor has committed crimes that resulted in Dabi’s existence, the translation changed it to “did some vile stuff” which is seriously downplaying the fact that a Pro Hero, whose job it is to fight criminals, is actually a criminal himself! It’s just yet again a very odd change to make, especially given the fact that we know that Endeavor has committed crimes. So why make it sound like less here?

Okay, so you might be confused about this line if you read both the fan translation, as well as the official translation.

Again, the official translation says “evil is thriving” - the fan translation, on the other hand, says “evil will no longer prosper.”

To opposite meanings for the same short phrase. Why is that?

You see, the first line says「悪が栄えるんじゃねェ！」

「悪 ; aku 」-> evil

「が ; ga 」-> subject marker particle

「栄える ; sakaeru 」-> to prosper

「んじゃねェ ; n janee 」-> “isn’t it” (see explanation below)

= “Evil will prosper, won’t it?”

The reason for that confusion is that last part, n janee, because its meaning depends on the context, and with that, in cases like this, it’s less obvious which it is.

This is a rougher way of the casual n janai, which is a more casual way of no janai, which is a more casual form of no de wa arimasen. Or in simple terms: it’s very casual.

So what does it mean? Like I said, the meaning depends on the context.

The no is an explanatory particle and when paired with janai can be used for when you express an opinion, whilst seeking the listener’s opinion.

So you can treat it as a “isn’t it” in an affirmative sentence (when you express your opinion or talking about probability), but you can also use it to negate a sentence (hence the two opposite translations). The former can also be used when you’re making a point.

Knowing that it’s pretty much down to context, we have to ask what makes more sense. Is Dabi saying that evil will prosper, or is he saying evil doesn’t prosper?

To put this into context, you have to look at the surrounding sentences. Prior to this one, Dabi mentioned that he is the crimes of the hero system. In the next phrase, he talks about justice collapsing. Because of that, I think “evil will prosper” is a more accurate translation as justice collapses as a result of evil - unless you interpret evil as being about the heroes.

Anyway, the second line says「正義が側板するだけ！」

「正義 ; seigi 」-> justice

「が ; ga 」-> subject marker particle

「側板 ; gakai 」-> collapse; downfall

「する ; suru 」-> to do (turns the noun it attaches to into a verb)

「だけ ; dake 」-> only

= “Justice will only collapse!”

If you look back at the official translation, it says “Justice is losing this war!” Meanwhile, the Japanese version doesn’t mention the words losing or war. While they still somewhat say the same thing, losing a war doesn’t inherently lead to irreversible, long-term effects. Instead, this situation is about more than just losing this war. The entire system is taking a fatal blow from this. Not even so much from this war, though. The reason Dabi is so certain that this will be the downfall for justice is that how are people supposed to still trust in this justice system when those that are supposed to defend it are criminals themselves? It’s more of a natural consequence resulting from a system that has been corrupt for far too long - the exposure is simply what will put an end to it.

The third line in that part is「俺はその責任を感情豊かな皆々様に示しただけだ」

「俺 ; ore 」-> I

「は ; wa 」-> topic marker particle

「その ; sono 」-> that

「責任 ; sekinin」-> duty; responsibility

「を ; wo 」-> direct object marker

「感情 ; kanjou」-> emotion

「豊かな ; yutaka na」-> extremely; very

「皆々様 ; minaminasama」-> everyone

「に ; ni 」-> to

「示した ; shimeshita」-> pointed out; showed

「だけだ ; dake」-> only

「だ; da 」-> casual form of です (desu); be; is

= “I only pointed this responsibility out to all you very emotional people.”

What irked me about this phrase in particular in the official translation was yet again the choice of words. I get that Dabi has a rough way of speaking. But sometimes, he chooses to use polite words and that shouldn’t be erased.

So when the official translation makes him say “All I’m doing is showing you sentimental dopes who’s to blame for that!” It’s just a rude phrase. But in Japanese he says minaminasama. You might be familiar with the word minna or minna-san, with the san in the latter example being a polite suffix (kind of like Mr./Mrs.,...). Sama is similar to that but even more polite. So minaminasama is about as polite as you can go. There might not be a direct English equivalent to that level of politeness, but I think we can all understand that “dopes” is not a correct translation here.

The responsibility/blame part goes back to what Deku said to him. “You aren’t Endeavor” - no, he isn't. And no, he isn’t exactly trying to be better. But that kind of mentality only ignores the obvious fact that this all could’ve been prevented, had it not been for Endeavor and his own selfish goals. It was a hero - the “champion of justice” - that committed crimes just like a villain. But it’s unheard of for a hero to do such a thing. Society doesn’t get shaken at its core when it hears about a villain committing a crime. A hero, on the other hand, being found guilty of a criminal record, will lead to people doubting the integrity of heroes altogether and that is not Dabi’s doing. All he does is share the truth.

To round this speech off, we get one last phrase:

“The future coming down the pipeline… is one where all that schmaltz and lip service is gonna get blown away by the chaos!”

The Japanese line says「これから訪れる未来はきってキレイ事など吹けば飛んでく混沌だろうぜ！」

「これから ; korekara 」-> from now on; after this

「訪れる ; otozureru 」-> to arrive

「未来 ; mirai 」-> future

「は ; wa 」-> topic marker particle

「きっと ; kitto 」-> surely; without a doubt

「キレイ事; kireigoto」-> glossing over; lip service

「など ; nado 」-> such as

「吹けば ; fukeba 」-> to blow (conditional form of fuku)

「飛んでく ; tondeku」-> to go flying (short for tonde iku)

「混沌 ; konton」-> chaos

「だろう ; darou」-> it seems; don’t you think?

「ぜ ; ze 」-> ending particle for emphasis (more casual/ruder version of yo)

= “Surely, if things like this lip service get blown over, the future coming after this will be chaos flying around.”

In Japanese, there are several conditional forms. The ba form, as used here in fukeba, is used when the preceding clause expresses a condition, which results in natural consequences. In this case, something happens in case pretty things get blown over.

Mirai is one of the words you can use to talk about the future in Japanese. This word is more intangible and more general rather than being about one specific event or person, so everyone will be affected by this.

And with that, we have made it through all of his speech from this chapter, congrats!

Something you may have noticed is that there are plenty of particles you can use at the end of a sentence, usually for emphasis. One of the most common ones you find throughout the chapter are yo and ze. Yo is a pretty standard one to show emphasis, whereas ze is more of a colloquial version of yo that has an assertive feel and is therefore usually only used when speaking in very casual conversations or to someone of lower social status than you. Dabi has used this on Endeavor before and is now also using it on Deku - aka his opponents.

Going back to the start of the chapter when Dabi is mainly focused on Shouto, though, he ends most of his sentences with naa. As mentioned before, this particle is used to express emotions/sentiment.

He also uses that during their first on-screen interaction during the summer camp. While I do think that Dabi is mainly still only seeing Shouto as an extension of Endeavor, I do think that there is also a part of him that does see himself in him and that can somewhat sympathize with him. He isn’t being as rough on him overall (verbally that is), and instead is trying to come off as more emotional, possibly just to appeal more to him.

To sum it up, there are a lot of things that just get lost in translation due to nuances that don’t exist in English. More often than not, though, the villains are being given harsher words, whereas anything related to heroes is softened. Dabi is constantly shown to be someone who puts great care and thought into the words he uses, so there is a lot of that emotional intelligence that gets neglected in the translation and then makes him seem more like someone on a random mission rather than someone who has put genuine thought into this.

There are still so many people in the fandom who, for some reason, think Dabi is in the wrong and irredeemable for having killed thirty people, whilst having the same stance as Deku in thinking that Endeavor is much better because at least he is trying.

While they should both be held accountable for their actions, Dabi has a good point when he said that heroes are to blame for his existence and that their crimes are what will ruin the justice system and not him.

Best Jeanist’s reaction to this whole situation was complaining that Dabi uses his personal past to shed a bad light on the heroes, which summarizes that exact problem of the hero society: That heroes are more concerned with their own image than actually being heroes who go above and beyond to bring about peace and safety.

Seeing Shouto’s reaction, being concerned about his big brother rather than himself, is at the very least giving some hope that at least one person on the hero side is able to see beyond the villain exterior and see them as a human-being - without needing a long speech for it.

We’ll have to wait and see how this is going to continue, but in more likeliness, the official English translation will continue to include its bias.

If you’ve made it this far - thank you so much for reading! This post was filled with a lot of information and trust me when I say some of these lines almost broke me as I tried to understand them. I hope I could clarify some parts of the chapter, though, specifically Dabi’s character, since the official translation loves to change his character.

#bnha #dabi #293 #translation #meta #boku no hero academia #bnha 293 #todoroki #shouto #touya #mha #my hero academia #mine #japanese

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teresa-moyocoyotzin · 3 years

Text

QOTS 5.09 “I Love You” Scenes Meta

MAJOR SPOILERS FOR 5.09 OF QUEEN OF THE SOUTH ABOUND

Okay this is basically just me trying to place James and Teresa’s ILY scenes within the larger context of their relationship and other kisses, and analyzing their respective reactions!

(Also just a disclaimer that obviously this is just one fan’s interpretation, there’s no right or wrong here! This is just how I see it and hopefully it’ll connect w some of y’alls insight too!)

Oh boy okay so I’m just gonna do this in the style of my old Bolivia visions meta b/c I think the best in bullet point form, so we’re just gonna go thru the scenes like super in depth, w/ way more detail than necessary. Think of it as a close reading, but instead of a piece of writing, it’s a tv show, and it has no sources except My Opinions lol

I’m still planning to actually write out my reactions to the whole episode when I re-watch it, but I can’t stop picking apart the I Love You scenes b/c honestly there’s so much going on there! Come on y’all this has been building since the second episode of this show there’s a lot to unpack here. I’m mostly focusing on how these kisses are vastly different from any of their other kisses IMO and how that affects the love confessions!

THIS IS GONNA BE UNNECESSARILY LONG AND NOT VERY ORGANIZED, BE WARNED

Let’s start when James says “You wouldn’t let me do it, so why should I let you?” shall we? B/c THIS MOMENT

SO as others have pointed out, this line really feels like a love confession in and of itself, and I’m sure if they hadn’t confessed their feelings in the same scene we would all be obsessing about it. I low-key am anyways..

Sure they’ve acknowledged that they do things to protect each other etc. etc. but this is really James making sure that she knows that he knows that SHE knows that they both feel the same way, and he’s not dancing around it anymore, not when she’s throwing herself into danger yet again. Teresa doesn’t have an answer, but it does make something click in her brain. No matter what moral code she’s following these days, if James was walking into a death trap like that she wouldn’t want him to go and would try to stop him. And right now, he’s feeling the same thing for her, he knows that she cares as much about him as he cares about her and that it’s a LOT, and he’s telling it straight to her face.

When she kisses him, I think it’s an acknowledgment of that, as well as her sort of trying to return the sentiment. And also, she doesn’t have a good answer to his question and wants to kiss him so she does!! James is clearly surprised by the kiss, as evident by his posture and slowly relaxing into the kiss. But THEN

After James’ brain catches up, he kisses her again, and even tho it’s short it looks to me like a pretty powerful, strong kiss!!?? (hard to tell b/c as usual…. they filmed it in a black hole..) and to me, it reads like he really let all his true feelings come through in that kiss POSSIBLY FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER

Now, lemme explain. Their first kiss in 3.05 was undeniably full of feelings and emotions, and I’m sure that night was super passionate and full of love! However, knowing what we know now about how everything plays out, I don’t think they were really at the point of saying ILY yet. Even if they did both love each other then, and I think they did, they had a lot of trust issues and abandonment issues to work through first. And as we all know, after that night everything goes to shit and they go about 12 steps backwards. My main point here is that I think both James and Teresa are still feeling generally unsure about each other’s feelings during their first kiss. This is also true for.. literally all of their kisses? Until now. Because in 3.09, they’re just super horny from taking over Phoenix but Teresa is just barely getting over Guero’s death in that episode.. I think that kiss was more about them feeling like the King and Queen of phoenix and less about their Actual Feelings (just imo obviously). And then they kiss after Teresa gets back form Bolivia but Teresa is suspecting him then and he’s certainly feeling her hesitation so no big feelings in that kiss either. Then of course there’s the goodbye kiss at the end of s3, and yes in that one I do think they were both letting their true feelings show in their kiss but they were both misinterpreting the other’s feelings and both were in a way lying to the other in that scene. James about his reason for leaving, and Teresa about her true reasons for wanting him to stay. And THEN, the kiss at the beginning of s5 is very much a “I’m happy you’re back, I want to be with you, but we can’t” kind of kiss, and again, there were feelings there but they were both still holding something back, and still not on the same page about what they wanted and were working towards. But in this kiss, they are on the same page , working toward the same thing, which is to get themselves OUT, together. Ever since they made that decision, there is an implicit agreement between them that they’re getting out together, and I think they both know that they want to be together if they make it out. And they both are desperate to have the other know their feelings before any potential deaths. However, they don’t really KNOW that they’re on the same page until that KISS.

SO ALL THIS TO SAY that in my eyes, the main reason Teresa’s so shocked is that this is the first time that James didn’t hold ANY of his love for her back when he kissed her, and she FELT IT babeyy. Teresa initiates this kiss to show him her true feelings, which takes him bit by surprise, but then he returns the feelings Full Force which takes Teresa totally by surprise.

I mean just look at her face after they part, before he says ILY. She looks shocked and confused, almost a little angry? I don’t think it’s really anger though, so much as it is being taken aback by the emotions that James is laying all out on the table for her to clearly see. Her face here is actually what drove me to write this meta, because at first I was so confused as to why she looked so shook up after the first kiss, cuz like girl U INITIATED IT?? I think part of it is that Teresa was a bit taken aback by the strength of her own feelings in that moments and the urge to kiss him despite them not being out of the business yet. She’s realized that if she’s gonna die tomorrow, she wants to kiss James first, and she wants that like, really bad. And also she loves him and was overcome w the urge to show him. But mainly, I really don’t think she expected to be met w/ such strong love from James’ kiss, because all the other times, he had been holding back his feelings.

James’ face after the kiss totally plays into this theory for me - he looks like he just got CAUGHT. She’s looking at him like what the Fuck was that!!! And he’s like oh SHit now I just gotta say it. The way he looks at her and shakes his head a little like, wow I’m really about to say it. I think it’s been on the tip of his tongue all episode, but he realized he just totally showed his hand with that kiss and there’s no going back now.

But omg you guys his face when he says it just SENDS ME TO THE FLOOR his little smile???? Like he’s thinking “how did we end up here? am I really about to tell Teresa I love her? YEP”

I don’t think she had any intention of telling him her feelings so outright yet, to me it totally makes sense that he tells her first. At the beginning of the season, Teresa made it clear that she does want to be with James, but she felt restricted by their life. So, James has spent the past season coming to terms with a) that Teresa still wants to be with him if they can get out of the business, b) that she’s changed a lot and no longer follows her old moral code, and c) that he still loves her even if she’s not entirely the same person he fell in love with originally.

Meanwhile Teresa came to terms w/ the fact that she wanted to be w/ him early in the season but pushed that Right down after indulging in 1 kiss (which I think was also meant to be a reassurance that she did want to be with him) but spent the rest of the season trying to grow her business, which in her mind would forever keep her from being able to be with James. So even if she acknowledged her feelings, she was not letting herself dwell on them. James, however… oh boy has he been dwelling. Especially since Dumas so kindly pointed his feelings out to him lol. So I think Teresa’s strong feelings for James have been building under the surface but she wasn’t allowing herself to acknowledge them at all, and therefore I think she kind of surprised herself a bit by kissing him, was then even more surprised by how strongly her feelings were showing, and then James hits her with a Big Feelings kiss and then an I Love You??? Oh boy

Taking this into account it totally makes sense that she looks super shocked after James tells her, even if they both have ~known~ for a long time. Y’know?

Okay so then there’s the sex scene which I LOVED omg, like absolutely zero complaints, super hot, exactly what they and we deserved. I’m not gonna get into it b/c I think it speaks for itself, but like, would happily read a meta about it if someone wrote it 👀

Anyways I think the morning after, when Teresa is laying in bed admiring James, is when Teresa is really digesting all of these feelings and the fact of them being out in the open, and she’s deciding that she needs to tell James she loves him, like ASAP. She is also at the same time having to accept that she’s going on a super dangerous mission today that she night not come back from, and if she does come back from it, they’re gonna have to still find a way Out. All in all, safe to say she’s got a lot going on in her mind, but it’s clear by her gazing at him that James is a big factor in all of it.

I love the next scene so much omg

They’ve gotten ready for the day and James is once again pulling tricks out of his bag to ensure her safety, and she’s just.. staring at him. My personal headcanon here is that Teresa’s intuition was telling her that a) the phonegun was gonna be irrelevant, and b) that she had about 30 seconds before her phone rang and she had to leave for potential death. Therefore it just blocked out literally everything but James and needing to tell him that she loved him. The moment I love the most is actually when James says “Here, try it” and he steps closer and she sort of jolts like they’re physically connected. The first time I saw the scene I literally gasped from that one step he takes because they just had this electric pull between them that was so obvious that I literally felt it. The chemistry!!!!

She’s just so focused on him in that moment and that whole scene, and the way she whispers “I love you” likes she just HAS to say it, she has to make sure he KNOWS she loves him before she runs off to risk her life. And the fact that it happens while James is actively trying to set her up for protection??? POETIC CINEMA I tell you. Kudos to Alice for that because apparently it was her idea and it’s my FAVE

Another thing that I really don’t know how to interpret but I find interesting from a cinematic point of view: James and Teresa are literally left in the dark during James’ love confession. It’s at night, and there is NO DAMN LIGHT AT ALL ON THEIR FACES (I bet the gif makers really appreciated that one huh…) so we can’t even see their reactions very well. Meanwhile, when Teresa confesses her feelings, it’s super brightly lit, in a white room, she’s wearing white, we can see all of the emotions on their faces. IDK what this is meant to symbolize exactly, so if anyone has thoughts PLEASE share them.

James seems a little in shock after, I think he really didn’t expect her to say it, even if he assumed she felt the same. And I think he was okay w/ that and had accepted it, knowing it would be really hard for her to say. After all, once she acknowledges it, it’s that much more painful if they have to say goodbye…

I think the way she says it perfectly captures how hard it is for her to get the words out, even if she feels an overwhelming urge to say them and make sure he knows. She seems very sure of her feelings, and I don’t think she hesitated to tell him at all, but it’s still a big step, and presumably the last person she said ILY to, in this context, was Guero. And his death destroyed her, so ofc she’s be scared to admit that she’s in love and put herself at the risk of losing it again. God Alice did such a good job w/ that line it really gets me every time. So sure, and soft, but with no room for doubt. Like she knows he doesn’t expect her to say it, but she can’t bear to let him think she doesn’t love him back. And it’s so simple too, like she’s saying “of COURSE I love you, how could you think I don’t?” AHHHH

And just the way she stares at him the whole time like she’s just waiting for him to stop talking so she can say it, and while she waits she’s perfectly happy to ignore the situation at hand and think about how she loves him and he loves her and also probably how good he FUCKS cuz like……………y’all saw his hand goin’ down there after he flips her over right 👀 okay ANYWAYS

So she finally tells him!!!!!! That she loves him!!! And kisses him!! Just to really drive the point home. And because, again, I think something was telling Teresa to kiss her man and tell him she loves him because she was about to get a call from Kostya’s men any second.

I really think James’ sort of blank look after she tells him is just him being in shock that she actually said it. I would have loved to know what he would have said after that, but alas.

That final shot before the phone rings though ❤️ their foreheads together, her hand on his heart and his hand on her hand, also the way that visually her arm (clothed in white) is across his body (clothed in black/gray) and vice versa w/ his arm is across her body, sort of continuing the sort of yin-yang theme they have going this season, I just think is a cool touch on the behalf of whoever choreographed/directed the scene.

I also interpret it as a very grounding moment for both of them, rooted in physical touch but not sexual in any way, just comforting. They finally can completely take comfort in each other because their feelings are out in the open and they’re completely connected. AGH they really have me in a chokehold lol

Anyways this is so fucking long and rambly, I don’t know if it makes sense but I did my best to proofread, I’m so sorry but thank you for reading if you’ve made it all the way here, or like even if you made it thru 1/16 of it lol I APPRECIATE YOU

I’m not sure what the main point is here, but anyways I think the actors, writers, directors, etc. did an amazing job w/ their I Love You scenes and I’m personally feeling v satisfied w/ it!

#i have no idea if i'm even saying anything new here but somehow i could not rest until i wrote it down lol so here ya go #qots meta #queen of the south meta #queen of the south #qots #jeresa #jeresa meta #qots spoilers #queen of the south spoilers #jeresa spoilers

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ruthlesslistener · 3 years

Note

In one of your earlier posts you mentioned how broken vessel would be taken in by dryya and the white lady and how they would get along swimmingly. Would you mind elaborating more about it?

I would be delighted to! Though I must admit that this is going off of purely my interpretation of BV instead of canon (or, well, based on what I took out of their bow/reaching out to Ghost), so it's particular to my BV only

So, basically? The way that I write the Broken Vessel is that they are very similar to PK, with the caveat being that they take after their mom in magic and anatomy. They are stubborn, very sure that their way of doing things is right, calculative/clever, and very, very focused on ensuring that they come across as proper and dignified. Unlike most wyrms, they are very family focused (this is more in line with their voiding and WL's influence), but they have that wyrm protective instinct over their younger siblings, so they try to be the leader/caretaker whenever possible. They want to be a knight so that they can make sure that those they care about are safe, and they want to be in charge so they can fix their problems their own way without help from anyone else, thank you very much. They're also very, very good at fighting when their sull ain't crushed in and pick up new moves quickly bc they have that PK method of dismantling everything in their head, but unlike PK, they don't have much of an interest in using that innate knowledge to toy around with the theoretical, instead preferring to apply it to real-world issues that need to be fixed. Even if they don't mean to, they can sometimes come across as aloof, arrogant, and proud, and dealing with them when they're in a sulky, stubborn mood means that you're basically going nowhere fast.

Which WL would find endearing as all hell, bc they remind her so much of PK while also having her eyes, her face, and her more plantlike anatomy, while PK would probs find them a nightmare to deal with specifically because of the similarities (he's too guilty to want to punt them, but he remembers what he was like when he was a serious, idealistic young wyrm determined to be the Best King Ever). She knows exactly how to deal with her wyrm when he's being a stubborn little jerk, so she would know how to calm down her wayward scion, and she would delight in how they would try to playact at being a serious knight despite barely being under their first adolescent molt. Plus, BV is one of those wyrmlings who only would have hung out around their parents for advice rather than coddling if they were fullblooded, so she really doesn't have to do much mothering other than giving them advice and guidance to seek out their goals, which works better for her than the more intensive care that the runts in the litter demanded. I imagine that part of the reason PK got so attached to Hollow is bc they reminded him of WL, but with some of his features, so it works the other way around with WL, where BV reminds her of PK but with her attributes.

As for Dryya, she's canonically known as the stern, wise, caring type, so I feel like she would be a good mentor-match for BV. She's the leader of the Great Knights in my hcs, so she's got that seniority and respect that a half-wyrm would look for in a teacher, and she's also had enough experience dealing with shitty younger teenagers to be able to catch onto their mood swings and deal with them correctly, treating them kindly yet sternly. On top of that, she's a fierce warrior who looked like she would have been swift and deadly in battle, so I can very easily see BV being interested in her fighting style, and flourishing under her strict, serious tutelage. The combo of her being fierce, terrifying, experienced, and someone who would treat them seriously while also taking no shits would make her a very good teacher for them, in addition to her ending up soft for them in general bc they're WL's favorite child.

So, the tdlr is that in aus where Hallownest doesn't fall or BV gets saved, and had some time to reconcile/get their parents to repent to them? They end up with two moms. I love dad!Oro for BV, bc they're both ornery little shits when mad, but honestly, the thought of WL trying to figure out how to parent a very stubborn 13 year old while Dryya shows them how to be a proper knight is too cute of a dynamic for me to pass up

#hollow knight #broken vessel #hk #anon #reply #white lady #fierce dryya #hkr au #(bc it technically falls under that and will be included)#also them being an apprentice to dryya and hornet getting jealous...peak sibling content #tbh i love the idea of them and hornet not being very far apart in physical age bc then shenanigans can occur #hollow is typically too polite to punt her but thorn ain't got the patience for that

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aceofspadegrass · 3 years

Text

Good Old Drama and Gossip

Characters: Hatter, Niragi Suguru, Morizono Aguni (Mentioned), Chishiya Shuntaro (mentioned), Last Boss (Briefly Mentioned), and me

Genre: Crack. This time it's just blind!Niragi being fussy and me stealing Aguni in the background

1.5k words

Part 3 of being a little shit to Hatter and getting away with it. But hey, at least there's the added bonus of Niragi being dramatic while being able to see nothing. A shame I didn't arm him with a cane and let him smack people.

Hatter was going to get them this time, he swears on it. It’s been more than a week since they last struck, and as far as he knew, there was not a single invasion into his Beach. He was always on alert, just in case something happened. It didn’t get in the way of his primary duty to his people, but the thought never left him to make sure everything he owned was in place.

Checking for any of the other’s stuff wasn’t anything Hatter worried about, thankfully. For some odd reason he could only interpret as ‘being too handsome and irresistible for his own good’ only his stuff was ever snatched like a cookie in the elusive cookie jar. He didn’t want to develop more stress lines making sure his men were okay in their personal possessions. Wrinkles shall only come to accentuate him, make him look good, not just tired and old.

That privilege can go to Aguni.

The man in question was at the very least rocking it, made him look fierce. Hatter could appreciate that in him, and it makes his job easier in subduing the more…. rambunctious of their group.

In fact, one of Aguni’s more problematic men, Niragi, had come back to a game with bad eye issues, even more worse than the appointed med staff could figure out. Apparently the game the oversaturated oil stain was in broke his eyes to the point where he couldn’t use them for a good while. In short, Niragi was left completely blind, and Aguni now had to deal with an increasingly whiny and temper hearty baked bean burrito. Hatter found it funny, but oh boy was it wearing out his poor fried dumpling.

It also left quite a hole in the defense for the intruders, so the issue of Aguni and Niragi was also an issue for the safety of the Beach (and Hatter’s stuff) as a whole.

No point thinking about this now. Hatter leans back on the sofa, sipping at a cold blend of juices and relaxing. His feet were killing him right about now, Hatter flexing his stiff toes and internally begging for a good pedicure to fly in through the doors and give his feet a touch of heaven and bliss.

The door in fact does fly open as the thought passes his head, Hatter sitting up and raising an eyebrow as Niragi stands there, breathing heavily. The sunglasses Hatter has so graciously offered to him in order to make him both sexier and protect his eyes from the sunlight so he didn’t permanently damage them further was slipping slightly off his face, Niragi fixing them after a few more pants.

“ You…..! You fucking coconut slut!” Niragi rasps out, and Hatter quirks his eyebrow in mild amusement, leaning forward and sipping his juice quietly as one arm rested on his knee. Niragi points a finger in Hatter’s direction, if Hatter was 45 degrees to the left and standing. “ You fucking left me tied on that bed for an hour! What fucking gives!”

Hatter says nothing, as Niragi storms in….. and immediately slams into the back of the other couch, Hatter bursting into laughter. Niragi on the other hand starts spouting obscenities and kicks the couch, and the red cocktail man notices the lack of real gun in Niragi’s possession, other than the super soaker that was substituted. Aguni probably replaced it, knowing that a blind trigger happy man was a danger to society and himself.

“ What the fuck is this bull?! What- Oh for fucks sakes this isn’t Chishiya’s room is it.” Niragi finally sputters out, grabbing the top edge of the couch and massaging the soft cushions underneath his long fingers.

“ Oh, I wish I was. Now what was this about being tied to a bed, hm?” Hatter croons, which earns him a hearty middle finger.

“ Like heck am I about to tell you. Okay, let’s try this again-“ Niragi turns around, but Hatter whistles at him, Niragi slowly spinning back around to face Hatter’s general position. “ What is it, I don’t have all day lobster man.”

“ Aww, not even a minute? Well, it’s just a question. Aren’t you supposed to be accompanied until you regain your senses? After all, you have nothing to guide your way.”

“ Fuck that, I don’t know where Last Boss went and he won’t fucking speak up if he’s just been following me like a sneaky little bitch this entire time, and Aguni was called away for something!”

“ Oh?” Hatter leans back again, Niragi throwing his arms up in the air as he starts pacing and nearly running into stuff again.

“ Yeah! So then that tiny mozzarella cheese ball came and said he’d help because I just look sad and stupid wandering around by myself, which I don’t believe because I know he’d push me into the pool the first chance he got, and then suddenly I’m tied to a bed as he puts on a podcast of nothing but some random guy talking about wool! It was hell!”

“ Oooh, I see. How bad was it?”

“ Fucking terrible! I did not need a wool lecture, thank you very little! Who the fuck wants to know the fastest record to shear a sheep was 39 seconds!? Not me, that’s for fucking sure!” Niragi rants, Hatter nodding and grinning as he switches his juice out for the good wine he kept by his foot the entire time, pouring himself a decent amount and taking a slow sip as Niragi continued to rant onwards. At some point Niragi managed to find the couch again (because he stubbed his toe into it, leading to an extra twenty seconds of Niragi cursing out Hatter’s poor couch) and sat down, Hatter pushing a wine glass into Niragi’s hand and filling it. Niragi downed it like he was a war orphan waiting for his arm to be donated to the war effort, Hatter lightly tsking him for not savouring it properly.

It wasn’t Aguni or any of the girls, but Hatter could appreciate the gossip as Niragi continued without a filter in his mouth, the rant going from Chishiya’s wool podcast to anything else Niragi had heard in his blind boredom. He was impressed how much information Niragi was willing to dole out just to get his anger settled for the rest of the day, and Hatter was happily sipping away as he absorbed it all.

Finally Niragi had calmed down, just nursing the wine glass that Hatter just filled with chocolate cereal instead, as Niragi refused to drink his wine like it was good wine. It was a shame really, Hatter liked hearing about Niragi’s auditory bubble day.

“ Well wasn’t that cathartic!” Hatter chirped as Niragi mumbled around his glass of chocolate cereal, draped over the entire couch as if he wanted to become the couch lord. Or wanting to be painted like the best model in the world, whatever he wanted.

“ Yeah yeah, whatever.” Niragi tips cereal into his mouth just as the crackle of his walkie-talkie alerts him and Hatter. Niragi doesn’t bother to remove the device from his side, too busy eating his cereal as a voice comes through.

And oh boy, what a voice it was, Hatter tuning into it immediately.

“ ….. Testing, testing! Are you hearing me? Hi hi, it’s me, your local menace~ The one with the robe, remember me? Yeah! Hi, don’t mind me, okay? I’m just gonna….. borrow Mr. Beef Stew with extra beef for a few hours! For personal, very important reasons and definitely not because I got a replica statue of a cute dog stuck in a window and now I can’t get it out. Anyways, bye!” The rest becomes static as it disconnects, Niragi snorting a little as Hatter takes one deep breath.

“ Oh, so that’s how it’s gonna be, huh? Niragi, hand it over to me.”

“ You’re not my boss.” “ Yes, but I’m Aguni’s, so hand it over.”

Niragi grumbles, unclipping the walkie-talkie and tossing it in Hatter’s general direction, Hatter humming and pressing the button on the side.

“ Hello? Are you still there, you rascal?” Hatter leans in, pouring as much honey into his voice to lure them out.

“… Yep, still here! Hi, didn’t think you’d be there too Hatter.” “ Oh, I’m here, and I would like to kindly know where you and your little friends are. As a little house visit~” There was a chuckle on the other end. “ Oh, sorry sorry, but I can’t. We can always come over and visit though, even if it’s for a brief moment!” “ Is that so…. Well, you wound me so, you know!” Hatter puts a hand on his chest. “ For you to not even offer me the same respect, ah it hits me right here that you can’t even trust me~”

“ Sorry! Anyways, gotta go, got things to do, got stuff to move with Aguni, who was nice enough to help us.”

“ At your base? Well, what’s stopping me from asking him for directions later for a surprise visit one of these days, maybe have a meet and greet with my beloved stolen items?”

“ Not anywhere near our base, we’re not that dumb my dear red bean paste~ Don’t worry, we’ll return your man in….. 3-5 business days maybe okay byeeeeeeeee-“ The line goes completely dead, and Hatter stares at the black box.

Those cursed beings, they’ve gone too far. Too far.

#aib #alice in borderland #aib fanfic #alice in borderland fanfic #hatter #takeru danma #aguni morizono #niragi suguru #last boss #takatora samura #chishiya shuntaro #hatter rues the day he met us conniving thieves #at the very least he got entertainment before being bamboozled from right under his nose #blind niragi is funny because I can make him smack into things without a chaperone #niragi slow down you're slurping too fast-#you can't go anywhere anyways without potentially running into issues #now how did chishiya manage to distract niragi long enough to tie him down? who knows

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justiceforvillains · 3 years

Text

So I wanted to share this fic idea with yall, OK so it's like a hawk x dabi x shigaraki x fem reader I think.

THIS IS NOT PROOF READ ------------------------ So Hawks is assigned to protect this girl because the LOV is after her sister, they want her to join them, and they threatened that they will kidnap her older sister, she was a student fighting against the UA when the LOV came and interpret the fight talking about how she wants to be stronger and they were going to give her that power soon after they recivied a punch in the face, so they did plan B which was kidnap her only family and kill her if she doesn't join. Hawks was surprised about all of this, because Dabi did not inform him about it, when he talked to Dabi he did not let him know that he's protecting the girl as a payback for not telling him. When he arrived at the your place which was a small apartment he is surprised, you were way too different than your sister, your sister was like a female version of Bakuguo, always fighting always yelling however you were calm very calm your voice soft when you speak even the way you moved was elegant. But the first thing he noticed was that you were blind you had a cloth wrapped around your eyes and on top you had sunglasses on, you seemed however super smart not asking too many questions and understanding the danger you were in, but you still had a soft smile on your lips. But somehow the smile seemed fake, but he didn't think much of it all he had to do was keep you company and make sure Noone hurts you, after a few weeks of living with you he got bored it's not like you were boring the complete opposite you would tell him stories from your childhood, you even mentioned that the reason your sister doesn't come to visit you was because she feels like she was the reason you're blind now, which was not true. He tried asking what you meant but you just smiled and changed the subject quickly, something he also like was you would make breakfast every morning he liked that a lot, but in the end he wanted to go out a little, he offered taking you with him, but you rejected telling him he can go ahead and leave.

Let's just say the flight did not go as Hawks planned, it was terrible, he came back to you real fucking tired and just goddam stressed, you asked him what was wrong, he's surprised you noticed, he made sure his voice sounded as friendly and cheerful as possible how did you pick up on it, you just reply with "your voice doesn't normally sound like that" So he starts to complain and somehow ends up being cuddled by you his head buried in your neck and you're playing with his hair. When you fell asleep first he carried you to your room and laied you down on the bed, he blushed a little remembering how you pulled him for a hug and how frozen up he's been, he smiled at the small memory he wants to protect you, wants to keep you safe and see more of your genuine smiles. Since then he became attached to you but you two don't have a relationship you're just friends with cuddle benefits, so there comes a time where he Had to leave you, which scared him, he gave you a feather necklace and told you to grip on it tight when you're in danger. So fast forward dabi gets teleported in your apartment, he stood taking on your small simple apartment, he found you sitting on the couch a braille book in your hands. He waited awhile taking you in, the LOV did not have a lot of information about you, they didn't even know what your quirk was, he's wondering why you wore sunglasses, and why you were feeling up the book's pages. You slowly closed the book and without him saying anything you greeted "hello there how can I help you?" in a way soft calm voice, which honestly surprised him seeing the situation you were in "you're not scared?" "not really I expected someone to come" you sounded like you didn't care, you must be really strong if you did not fear him one bit, he got his flames ready to fight. You on the other hand just took the feather necklace off, that's when Dabi noticed it "you're not calling the bird here to save you?" he smirks, you either are really strong or just really careless "if I get him here you might kill the innocent people in this building, right? It's easier to just go with you, I don't want anyone to hurt again because of me.... " you whispered the last part, he almost didn't hear the pain in your voice almost. You held your hand out "could you guide me? I'm blind" he's surprised by that looking at your hand then your face, you're coming in willingly? This has to be a trick, he believed that you were blind after looking closely he can see you had a cloth wrapped behind these sunglasses, he just said fuck it since he doesn't have much time before Hawks comes back, he grabbed your hand, they felt very soft. Anyways he gets you to the LOV missing the way your soft hand felt in his, and Shigaraki being the asshole he is just decays something infront of you to silently tell you to not try anything funny, Dabi just rolls his eyes "she's blind" it seems that the leader did not like the answer, he took your glasses and decays them, and then takes the cloth roughly off because he thinks you're playing them. All of the LOV just gasp once he took the cloth off even Shigaraki froze at the sight, you had no eyes it was straight out of a horror movie, you took the cloth back in your hands calmley wrapping it calmly back around your eyes again, Shigaraki still frozen and Dabi feeling a little bad about this whole situation, you seemed kind, but too kind, you sighed "my father got angry at my sister when we were younger, when I tried to defend her he did this to me" Now the whole LOV felt bad they had their family issues, and understood the pain you probably felt, but you didn't let it show, you just shrugged it off. After awhile of spending time in LOV you becomes good friends with Spinner, and you treated Toga as your little sister, you went along with all of the LOV except Dabi and Shigaraki Dabi would watch you from afar still not knowing what your quirk is, Shigaraki on the other hand never talked to you again. Until one night you heard a crash, you slowly walked to the sound of the

crash relying on the walls for support, you find that it coming for Shigaraki's room (Per Spinner's description) as soon as you go inside you heard him yelling at you "get out!!" "fucking leave!!" His voice sounded so broken so sad, you couldn't just leave, you crunched downand just hug him, he froze again not knowing what you're doing, hell he doesn't know why he's crying all of the sudden "I-I wasn't--I didn't do it on purpose I" and just cries harder. You didn't know what he's talking about but you assumed it was a nightmare, but before you could assure him, you felt pain go through your left arm, you screamed. Shigaraki looks in horror how you slowly start to decay and in a second the whole LOV is in his bedroom, they all watch in horror how your arm is disappearing. Dabi starts yelling "why the fuck would you do that!!!! What the fuck?!?!" Shigaraki is reminded of his child self and just crawls back, however all of the sudden you raised your right arm and dug your nails in you left shoulder and the decay stops and there's a white light coming from your hand. somehow you generate yourself to everyone's surprise. Shigaraki still had his eyes closed not really looking as he has his back against the wall, scratching his neck, you then whispered out of breath "Shigaraki its ok im fine please hold my hand" and he just stops to stare he does hold it with his thumb hovering just for a sec he felt calm before you were snatched away by Dabi, he carries you back to your room and throws you on the bed. You heard the door to your room click signaling that he just locked you in, you could hear him yelling at Shigaraki you can also hear the rest of the LOV calming both the men down, you sighed you just wanted to help not make it worse. From then on you were not allowed to leave your room often, you did explain that you can regenerate cells and that was your quirk, but they didn't let you leave one day Shigaraki came to your room to apologize for what happened and you just let him know that you don't see him as a monster and that you would like if he visited you more often, he didn't reply but you felt his hand wrap around your own for a second, it seems he was wearing gloves, you didn't comment. Another time was when you felt your door opening, at first you thought it was Shigaraki again but when listened closely "is everything ok Dabi?" "how would you know it's me?" "footsteps" you reply shortly "just making sure.... You still there" he mumbles quietly "you need a hug?" he laughs bitterly "giving out free hugs for bad guys that can kill you in a blink of an eye" "you sound like you need one" He huffs and comes over to you, one hand around your neck pushing you down on the bed getting close to your ear and whispers "don't get too comfortable doll face, the only reason we keeping you around is because we want your little sister to join us-" he stops when he feels arms wrap around him and play with his hair he just freezes the hand that was around your neck now laying on the bed. He didn't know what to do, he hadn't felt anyone kindly touch him in years, he just let's it happen not sure what was he supposed to say, he finds himself sleeping next to you he woke up in the middle of the night shocked that he had held you so tight you were just sleeping calmly he leaves immediately. Yeah that's all I have sorry

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wangxianficrecs · 3 years

Note

Hi Mojo,

Thanks for taking on the discussion today -- I think it's an important topic. I appreciate everything you do to promote fanworks, and have found a lot of joy in fics you've recommended.

I agree with a lot of what you've said, but I have some thoughts I'd like to contribute to the discussion if that's okay.

I generally believe that unsolicited criticism is inappropriate when it comes to fanworks. As a Fandom Old™ I usually default to "don't like, don't read." When it comes to things like spelling, grammar, and punctuation, formatting, writing style, characterization or interpretations of canon that the reader disagrees with but aren't hurtful, the thing to do is to just click the back button and move on to something else unless the author has explicitly requested constructive criticism.

However, if a fic contains something that is hurtful to people in a particular group, whether due to racist characterization, culturally insensitive language or other issues, and a person from that group feels that they want or need to point that out to the author, that shouldn't be discouraged or maybe...gatekept? Because fandom is so white-dominated, it kind of feels like tone-policing of BIPOC fans and/or fans who are members of marginalized groups to say, "you should ask before giving this feedback." I am white and I don't want to speak for or over fans of color, but that's how it seems to me. This isn't a criticism of you or of your advice, more questioning whether the etiquette of asking before offering feedback is appropriate in these cases.

I agree that people tend to be more receptive to feedback when approached kindly and asked if they're open to receiving it, and I would hope that most authors would want to know if they've written something hurtful (even unintentionally) so they can reflect, learn, and do better.

I love your idea of putting together a list of people who are willing to be cultural sensitivity readers and/or to perhaps answer questions to help writers who want to write for The Untamed but are apprehensive about doing things correctly. I know that's something I've struggled with as I've considered writing in this fandom myself. I don't have the bandwidth to start a new blog, but if there was someone out there willing to collect/share posts that people of Chinese heritage have so kindly written to educate non-Chinese fans, that could be a great resource, too. Kind of like a rec blog, but for helpful explanations of Chinese culture, references in The Untamed, and so on. I'm not trying to push anyone into doing something I can't, just putting it out there. :)

Thanks again for taking on this topic today.

Hey, of course your thoughts are appreciated. This really is a delicate and very tangled topic, and one person is never going to have all the right answers and one size will never fit all, so it’s always good to hear everyone’s input.

I have to do real life now -- I’ve been doing this for like 5 hours -- but I’m happy share your opinion (mine is pretty thoroughly expressed in previous posts).

Y’all, always think carefully when you interact with people on the internet that you don’t already know; try to be courteous; remember that many people have a valid perspective that may be very different from your own.

(Also, if someone wants to assemble a resource blog or a sensitivity beta list, I’ll be happy to share that!)

gtg,

mojo

#fandom etiquette #racism in fandom #cultural sensitivity #fanfiction #omg where has the day gone???#it's after 3 #ack #Anonymous

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fandom-gt · 3 years

Note

I want to add to the prompt where Steve's super soldier serum is on hyperdrive and he can come continuously, which led to an orgasm so long and intense it was like discovering that the meaning of life was pleasuring Steve's dick.

Steve isn't presentable to go out in public until the compound works completely out of his system. It's impossible to hide his enormous, drooling erection that won't go away even when he's feeling overstimulated by how much his body just FEELS everything.

He receives news that yes, the compound is replicable and can be available to him on request, and the excitement he feels at the prospect of getting to do this whenever he wants gets him shooting off again. This time he clings to the high for as long as he can stand it, working his cock (and Bucky) through long minutes of tsunami-like waves of pure pleasure.

A few weeks later, long after returning to normal, he finally has some time off. He now has a stash of recreational serum boosters, and he intends to have a fun weekend. But he won't be the only one having fun, oh no. He's a considerate guy and a generous friend, he's happy to share his stash with his best buddy, his cock-extension Bucky.

Now, if Steve suffered from overstimulation while on the booster, Bucky suffers it a thousandfold. The sensations that Steve feels are small and light, and he has total control of what and when he feels. Bucky does not have that luxury.

He's still being battered around by Steve's cock, hand, and toys, each blow he receives landing with mind-shattering force, his nerves on fire. Steve's hot cum is molten lava on his skin, his sensitive body interpreting the heat cranked up to twenty times its normal temperature. Every throb and shudder of Steve's cock thunders through him like an earthquake. It's like Steve's dick is Armageddon and Bucky's world is an incomprehensible mess of sensations and panic and pain and, yes, even pleasure.

Bucky's brain is so overloaded trying to comprehend so much that his own erection and orgasms don't even break to the surface of his thoughts, jumbled as they are. When he comes, it just sends more waves of confusing signals ricocheting around his little body, and he just wants it to stop more than anything he's ever wanted before, oh GOD.

Steve, though, is enjoying every twitch and spasm of Bucky's body against his cock. He loves feeling the little guy's tiny erection rub into his huge one, and takes satisfaction in the way Bucky's gone dumb with feeling, the way his eyes have rolled all the way back into his head, the way he's lost all composure.

Even afterwards, when Bucky tries to explain how awful it was for him, Steve can only think of how hard he and Bucky were and how good it felt. It's impossible that such a thing could ever be bad, Bucky's just embarrassed to be seen like that. He's a modest guy. He should know better than to feel shy around Steve; he is, after all, part of Steve's cock now. They are more intimately connected than best friends or brothers, they are one and the same, one body, Steve and his miraculous living cock.

-Eek

My favorite part of this one: Steve; he is, after all, part of Steve's cock now. They are more intimately connected than best friends or brothers, they are one and the same, one body, Steve and his miraculous living cock.

What I’d actually like to write after this, I think, is from Bucky’s perspective. Kind of a Stockholm thing almost, where he’s there for so long with Steve constantly reaffirming it over and over again, he slowly actually starts to believe it. Months of being attached to it, being jerked off with it, being pressed against it for every piss, being underneath it flopped onto Steve’s balls, it starts to screw with his head a little and he genuinely starts to feel like he is Steve’s cock.

A lot of his protesting becomes resignation -- Steve’s about to shove it into someone, and Bucky doesn’t beg anymore. Of course he’s getting thrust in there, of course Steve’s going to shove him in, he’s Steve’s cock. He’s the part that makes it feel good.

He stops expecting Steve to talk to him anymore, not after that last time where Steve kindly told him, “You’re my dick, pal,” and then started fisting himself without reservation. Squeezing Bucky just as hard as he wants to, because he’s just jerking off, and one doesn’t think about the comfort of their cock, they just jack it off.

He gets used to the perspective of being on Steve’s dick. He gets used to seeing the world from this height, he gets used to mainly just seeing Steve’s boxers, he gets used to looking up the mile-high length of Steve’s chest. He gets used to the backs of his knuckles. He gets used to Steve coming over him, down his front and his back, massaging him into it during the afterglow. He gets used to the folds of a hovering partner about to drop down and swallow him up inside them -- because he’s Steve’s cock, and that’s where it goes.

Slowly but surely, he loses his identity and starts to think of himself how Steve thinks of him. Part of his body. Permanent. His dick.

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heraldofzaun · 3 years

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what are your thoughts on viktor and being neurodivergent? though like, obligatory disclaimer that if riot ever did come out and say that "hey! viktor is canonically [something]" that would be catastrophic but i think it is a little bit of fun for consideration

Oh! Well I like to think he's autistic, which is partially because I am too. (Of course in canon it would be catastrophic because haha, oh man, look at how they've treated Blitzcrank's biographies ever since they gave him an updated one. There's some coding in there, alright, and I am... not a fan...)

I’ve posted a lot of long posts recently (this is no exception) and this is also on a kind of tricky subject, so I’m readmore’ing it.

So anyways, while I have to admit that some of the reason why (my) Viktor is autistic is because I am - I think that you can make a general semi-convincing argument. Or I'm so wrapped up in my own interpretations that I can, at the least. Anyways, from here on out when I say Viktor I mean my personal take. Your mileage may vary on applying this to other interpretations.

(Also, thoughts on new lore Jayce's being kind of coded to be like, a stereotypical autistic dude? (If you have any I mean.) I don't like that Riot is doing it, of course, but I've seen a few good rehabilitative takes on it in fandom. @hamartio's Jayce springs to mind, because their Jayce has been developed over the years and also written by someone who like. Cares. Anyways, I have my own personal Jayce ideas that rely on his old lore so he's not really an asshole there, at least in those regards, so I don't really have many thoughts on new Jayce. I think new Viktor is... pretty coded as well, but it’s also insanely stereotypical. The whole “always working, always wants certainty, gets into automation not because he (primarily) wants to help those injured by catastrophes in Zaun but because the catastrophes interrupt his work” thing makes me uncomfortable. Maybe I’ll write sometime on why the rewrite of his lore fails, in my opinion, to hit upon the same themes of his first - would that be of interest to folks? Anyways, this parenthetical is too long.)

I think that autistic Viktor is cool and makes sense, somewhat because of the fact that the ways he goes about solving his problems are, er, unorthodox. (Of course I am not saying that the GE is because he’s autistic, because that’s stupid. This is why I’m kind of squirrely about talking so openly about what I think Viktor’s got going on, and why I don’t really trust if a non-autistic person headcanons him as autistic. There’s a lot of room for that headcanon to just reinforce the “autistic people are supergeniuses with no emotions that work based off of Facts and Logic” trope, and I hate that.) Since a lot of autism is about feeling adrift from/at odds with neurotypical society, I think that Viktor’s general solutions and also his idealistic leanings in the face of everything Zaun is tracks for that. Roboticization makes sense as a way to stop suffering and death, because it’s more achievable than individual feats of immortality through magic or whatever. Viktor doesn’t really get why people would be so opposed to it - he’s made it clear that while he dislikes his own emotions and wants them gone, he doesn’t expect others to cast off theirs. (Maybe he expected that when he was in the thick of his emotional pain, mostly because he couldn’t imagine others choosing differently than he at the time, but not in the current day.)

Of course, externally, when the scary cyborg man who admits to cutting off his own limbs says “no, being a robot is cool, you can keep your emotions even”, any Zaunite (or any person) is going to interpret that as “he is definitely lying”. Viktor doesn’t quite make that leap. (I have thoughts on the whole Theory of Mind concept and I don’t mean to say that Viktor can’t empathize - he does, and does too much - with others, but I think that in this instance he just can’t quite understand sometimes why people don’t believe him.) He also doesn’t quite get why people would be so attached to the bodies that they’re currently in, especially if he can make a mechanical replica. Or why people might want to die and pass into non-existence after a life well lived. (To him, personally, there’s always more to do. Also he’s terrified of death but that’s another topic.)

I also think that Viktor’s empathy is of the hyper- rather than hypo- kind, partially because I feel like outside of self-advocacy groups the mere concept of autistic hyperempathy is seen as like... impossible? It’s also because he generally seems to be kind of an emotional guy in canon before Stanwick, what with the lore saying that “almost no trace of the original man remained” in reference to Viktor reemerging as someone without emotions. That, combined with the fact that he was described as having a “hope to better society” before everything went down, kind of makes me believe that he was a naive idealist type. (Again, not that autism makes you naive, but...) But yes, hyperempathy. Hence "no pain, no wars, no suffering, no death” being part of his ideology for the Glorious Evolution. He gets pretty ripped up about people being hurt, and it’s really only gotten worse over the years as he’s grasped the full scope of pain in the world.

Personally, I write pre-Stanwick-incident Viktor as someone who is still somewhat awkward with expressing emotion, but it’s not due to him not having them. It’s due to the fact that the ways in which he naturally expressed them and in which he interacted with the world were just... seen as odd/different/etc. (I don’t think Runeterra has an autism diagnosis or particularly excellent psychology, even in Piltover and Zaun, so he just gets the “you’re a weird dude” treatment for his entire life.) Stimming or smiling a certain way or talking a lot about his interests or, you know, the general autistic existence is weird to most people around him, as it unfortunately is in real life. So he’s more reserved until you actually know him, because he’s just masking all the time. (Fun fact about my Viktor: he’s pretty expressive under that actual mask of his. It helps to not have to micromanage expressions all the time when he isn’t experiencing a bout of flat affect due to [gestures vaguely at everything else going on with his mental state], although he sometimes feels poorly about not being able to manage himself. But that’s his issues, and I think it’s good for him to show emotion.)

Side note - Stanwick was able to do such a number on Viktor due to: a) Stanwick being very charismatic and manipulative, on top of being an actually smart man and scientist - he’s really a great example of a “good Zaunite”, in the sense of being good at being what the culture rewards, b) Viktor actively dealing with the death of his parents and Stanwick being an older adult who’d treated him kindly and had never seemed put-off by Viktor’s oddities, and c) Viktor not realizing that he’d get backstabbed, because yes he knows that that happens in academia but Stanwick’s nice. Whether or not the outcomes would have been the same if Viktor were more competent at being “a good Zaunite”... well, probably not. Viktor ended up where he did because of who he is.

(Secondary side note: Viktor has a very strong and very black-and-white sense of what’s right and wrong, as well as general black-and-white thinking. You can see how that would have... not helped in the situations he was put through.)

This is getting kind of rambling, but I guess the point of this is that Viktor’s wanting to remove his emotions may be cloaked in the language of them being “inefficient” or “unhelpful”, which would feed into autistic stereotypes, but it’s really more of a matter of them being too painful and raw for him to process. He feels too much and hurts too much, and no amount of positive emotions in the world will (in his mind) make up for the pain he’s felt and will feel. So it’s better to not feel anything at all, isn’t it? At least then you aren’t overwhelmed by it all.

Viktor just hasn’t fit in with Zaun for all his life, really. Not as an odd child who can tell you all about science-fiction and techmaturgy, not as an odd and reserved teenager/young adult, not as a bright young doctoral student still dealing with grief but trying to make the best of it, and... not as the Machine Herald. But now he’s given up on trying to fit in, for better or for worse.

(Other miscellaneous and less serious autistic thoughts on him: generally a pretty fixed diet, partially due to being autistic but also due to what’s easily available in Zaun + what agrees with his stomach. A fan of weight and pressure - I like to think that the reason his outfit is like that is that he finds it comforting, and also that he has a weighted blanket or two around. Special interests of general techmaturgy, robotics, and science-fiction. He can talk for hours about any of those, and has. Both his parents were mildly spectrum-y, his mother a little bit moreso, so they just kinda assumed that him being him was out-of-the-ordinary and a bit strange but not something “horribly wrong”. Oh! And his third arm, which is under a little less conscious control than the rest of him, still stims sometimes when he’s working or otherwise not paying attention to it.)

This was very long and jumped around a lot, because I find it hard to give a convincing paragraph-by-paragraph argument about exactly why I think that Viktor is autistic, or rather why I headcanon him as such. But hopefully it was interesting! I just have a lot of thoughts on him, as well as the general state of autistic-coded or perceived-as-autistic-by-individuals (both allistic and autistic) characters in media and so it’s very hard to do anything concise without branching out into discussing other topics.

#anonymous #headcanons | beneath the mask #//preemptive remark that these are my own thoughts on autism which are filtered through the lens of my life experiences #//as well as that of some aspects (emphasis on some) of academic research. baron-cohen can choke with his theories #//also i did not explain some terms here under the assumption that those reading would probably already know them. feel free to ask if not!

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