#i fucking have ocd ocd
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Overthinking about overthinking is my toxic trait
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Incidentally, because I have been seeing some wild guilt-tripping posts today to the point that I'm kind of concerned, if you are not reblogging every post you see you are not killing your fandom, you are not a terrible person who doesn't care about artists, and you are not destroying the culture of fandom space in general.
I'm a huge fan of reblogging, I do it all the time because I am a gremlin who likes sticking pictures of my blorbos on the walls of my cardboard box, and I like showing things to my followers. It's the hold up blorbo to friends emotion. I encourage people to reblog and also have fun making their blog their own with lots of fun posts. But I also see thousands of posts a day and I can only reblog like 250 of them, and I'm not always on social media, and sometimes I see art that contains a character I don't care for, or stuff that is intended for another audience, or jokes that don't do it for me, and I scroll past. I am firmly convinced that that is not an immoral way to do fandom. I'm not here to be an SEO optimized marketing machine, I'm here to be unwell about the blorbos for a bit. I am not ascribing a moral quantity to the way I reblog posts.
Reblog stuff you like! Without shame! Take those 40 pictures of a movie you just watched and inflict them on your followers, go for it! But also if you just scroll and like you are not going to be struck down by heaven for your sins. It's literally fine to be a lurker. I know plenty of people who lurk on one site and engage and keep their fandoms spinning on others. You're fine.
#like reblogging is good#we are all on the same page with that#but some of you are posting shit like you want to trigger people's OCD#I have survived moral scrupulosity about shipping in my fandom#i'm not taking it on for fucking liking posts
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COMMISSIONS ARE OPEN!
Hi hello hi! Commissions are open! if you are interested here is a google form below with all the info at hand about my commissions and workflow! If you have any questions my DMS are open to answer and talk it out, thank you so much, reblogs are extremely appreciated to spread the word as I would like this to be my main post for commissions from now on!
#I hope this is easier or better!;;#I really like to have an easier way to do this I always get worried I might forget a client with how much I do aahhh there’s only so much m#fucked up little ocd memory can do PF#BUT YEAH A I hOPE THIS IS OK#commissions open#commission work#art commissions#art#my art#art comms#art comms open#please reblog! Likes don’t really help this kind of post PF…#smoki rambles#BTW for any current clients you don’t have to fill this. Since I’m already working on your things it’s okay! But for anyone else#id prefer you fill this from now on!
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I’m sure I’ve said this but Penelope Scott “Feel Better” is so c!Tubbo it’s actually insane.
#i think i might have died there twice and i would do it all again... im a nihilist a soldier an ocd machine... LMANBERG TRAUMA!!!#i guess i really loved you and now youre over there and im way over here what am i gonna do... EXILE TRAUMA!#i was worth something i fucking earned something i had a right to live a right to die a right to choose too... NEEDING TO FEEL USEFUL!#i dont wanna get over it id give anything to miss you again... REPRESSION OF EMOTIONS!#HE DOESNT MISS HIS DEAD LOVED ONES BC THEY ALWAYS COME BACK AND HE CANT AFFORD TO LET HIMSELF GRIEVE.!#all my filthy life i loved someone i barely knew... HE BARELY EVEN KNEW CRANBOO.!#DO YOU HEAR ME IS ANYONE THEREEEEEE#IF I COULD DRAW ID MAKE THE MOST SOUL CRUSHING ANIMATIC......#doodle.txt
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i’m about eight years out of practice with this guy
#wander over yonder#woy#wander#wander woy#fanart#art#cartoon#illustration#sketch#my art#i got a sudden out of literally nowhere urge to rewatch it this past week and i’m so sad i only have three episodes left already#wander over yondr genuinely means so so so so much to me can’t stress enough it is extremely important to me#it’s the reason i switched career paths to animation it’s the reason CMY2K exists it helped me come to terms with having OCD#everyone in the universe should strive to be like wander he makes me want to be a better person than i already try to be#i seriously haven’t drawn him since i was a freshman in high school. fucked up
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Kai's manipulation techniques up until he got addicted to meth and started hating women big time. These are also all cult leader strategies in general so good job on research to the writers of the season!
This is strictly for educational purposes! Watch out for those behaviors in ANY group. Cults are dangerous and don't have to be religious at all. Stay safe and avoid groups and people displaying even the tiniest bit of those behaviors! Trust your gut and don't disclose personal info to strangers! <3
Cult trchniques obvi, mentions of suicide, mind control, killing, spoilers obvi
@fear-is-truth this is the most I could come up with rn, the brainworms are all-consuming!
So, how does Kai control people?
- Observing someone and analysing their deepest insecurities, then promising to erase/fulfill them (most visible with Meadow)
- Forcing his followers to partake in crime together and not hide their identities from one another to create additional fear of going out of the group - they will be found guilty by the authorities
- Using people's sexuality against them (Meadow, Bob, Ivy, Winter, Harrison...)
- Constantly speaking about and hyping up an agenda, a movement, a change... but never saying what it involves. His cult is focused on recruiting people who can benefit his rise to power and feed his ego. He doesn't have any agenda except for personal gain but people believe he brings some great change.
- The fearmongering. It does require media and an extensive wave of concerning shit happening, but he did achieve this. Especially insidious technique to watch out for irl.
- One-on-one meetings with the members, the "pinky power". It's supposed to seem silly, unserious, but it makes him hold incredible power over them. The eye contact, the physical contact, the demanding tone and the isolation from others and their own self.
- He uses the BITE model of authoritarian control, a type of cult mind control tactic categorized by Steven Hassan (his book is an incredible read btw!). So basically behavior, information, thought and emotion control. Kai started using this mostly after recruiting his boycult.
- Mock executions - first with Meadow, this is how he convinced her to commit suicide for him. Then, he made his men drink the kool aid to "strengthen their bond" and weed out disloyalty.
- Torture - this one doesn't work, obvi, but it did work temporarily on Beverley (putting her in isolation she described as a "dark hole"). We all know how this ended though, so it wasn't rly that successful?
And more. But it's all I can think of off the top of my head.
- Physical and verbal violence against members that makes them want to get on his better side and gets them to work twice as hard.
- Putting people against one another!
#do not think about doing this shit to other people im so fucking serious rn#another episode of me adding long ass disclaimers because i have ocd#not tagging as cults since there are actual cult survivors there#ahs cult#american horror story#american horror story cult#ahs#kai anderson
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I cordially invite everyone who bitched decided that fresh cut grass detonating wouldn’t have killed otohan to 𝒷𝒾𝓉𝑒 𝓂𝑒.
even setting aside matt confirming the fact that otohan only had about 40 hit points left (and that’s a pretty significant setting aside) what does it Matter. why do you care so much more about each and every hit point someone ‘should’ have than the overall story. if that moment felt robbed somehow because it didn’t ‘follow the rules’ or ‘wasn’t right’ – what does that even mean – why are you here. you have an extremely limited capacity for imagination and storytelling. if you need something to be Exactly Right before you can enjoy it. and this is coming from your local bitch with ocd.
if you still feel the need to complain that matt, a gm with years of experience running a complex game for seven of his closest friends who have all built complex characters with extensive backstories, occasionally forgets rules as written or decides to do something different than you think should be done, maybe remember *checks notes*: THIS IS NOT YOUR GAME. THIS IS THEIR GAME. AND YOU’RE CHOOSING TO WATCH IT. FOR FREE.
“not to be a rules lawyer, but–” you know exactly what you’re doing and I want you to shut the whole entire fuck up forever.
#for the holy sake of fuck#I have clinically diagnosed ocd and I don't give a good godsdam about strict adherence to The Rules because who cares!!! who cares!!!#get a life!#touch grass!#critical role#fresh cut grass#fcg#otohan thull#matthew mercer#matt mercer#cr cast#bell's hells
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Tumblr blog six-of-cringe take iceberg
#the top is stuff i dont shut up about. the bottom is for secret thoughts that have not seen the light of day#you dont even know about my soc moral ocd diagnoses. you dont even know the matthias autism#i barely even know the matthias autism the take is half buried in the sands of my vast mindscape#listen that straightforwardness can't ALL be cultural right? like. “you can't cry in a corner this room has no corners”#he's so fucking real#anyway i need to post about some of these more they need to come up a couple levels in the iceberg#hell i need to post about the top layer more. the spectral bfwp is a phantom that constantly haunts my blog and never appears#jesper fahey#wylan van eck#kaz brekker#inej ghafa#matthias helvar#nina zenik#six of crows#soc#six of crows memes#soc shitpost#soc headcanon#bfwp
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I’m not scared of covid because I have OCD. I’m scared of covid because the scientific data shows that it’s prevalent and dangerous. I have hygiene-focused OCD because society, including the medical establishment, has shown that they are not willing to protect or care for me. I already have long covid, I could die or lose a lot of quality of life if I get it again.
#also fucking measles and tuberculosis and monkeypox and bird flu and#I really didn’t have any hygiene-focused manifestation of ocd until last year#more ranting about this in the last post lol#ocd#actually ocd#covid#covid 19#pandemic#covid isn't over#still coviding#covid cautious#covid conscious
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as a side note on the morality OCD thing, filtering phrases like "reblog if", "if you can't reblog this", "can and should reblog", "reblog this version", etc has helped immensely with not seeing as much of the guilt tripping bullshit on here. there are probably more but these are the ones on our filtered post content list so far.
also if you're on desktop, the Xkit Rewritten extension has a "tweaks" section for a bunch of dashboard stuff that includes the options "use a slim layout for filtered posts" which makes those posts take up less space, and "hide filtered posts entirely" so they don't show up on your dash at all if you need that option
#personal#thoughts#🍬 post#OCD#we're at the point where we just kind of filter anything that's likely to be distressing if we're already feeling rough#and then if we think we can handle it we'll maybe click to see what the post is and the filter just acts as a warning in advance#but if we're feeling like shit it means we don't have to risk seeing anything that's gonna fuck us up for the rest of the day#I promise you're allowed to do this and having to avoid distressing content doesn't make you a bad person#and I know that probably doesn't help much because morality OCD spirals are hell#but you deserve to do the things that help you and are good for your mental health#(also I just realised if you do have these phrases blocked this post is gonna look wild on the ''filtered content'' box thingy)
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OCD will literally remove your brain's ability to register when a task is Complete and then create 10,000 incredibly ridiculous and extremely specific rules for you to follow in every single aspect of your life (to keep you safe, of course, it tells you.) and then tells you that if you don’t do them Correctly and Completely every single time it tells you to (it tells you countless times per day) then the Entire Fucking World Will End and then it’ll do this fucked up thing where it makes you believe that nonsense.
and then people that don’t have it will make silly little jokes about being soooooo OCD and make t-shirts with fun little acronyms on them like Obsessive Coffee Disorder and tell you how much they like it when things are organized and clean, too!!
and then you’re supposed to just. laugh. like you haven’t been robbed of your entire being and potential and been taken over by a mind and life altering disability
#PSA: don’t fucking tell me to Seek Therapy or Try Medication. i am Aware. i have Tried. it isn’t that fucking simple#and this is my blog. i’ll complain about my illnesses all i want to. if you don’t like it i strongly encourage you to unfollow me#ocd#actually ocd#cw ocd#cw mental illness#mental health stuff#Seven.txt#Obsessive Compulsive Disorder is actually SO goddamn insidious. and only ppl that have lived with it will understand that#it’s a terrible terrible thing. to have something ruin your entire life under the guise of keeping you safe#it’s like being abused by your own mind and i don’t say that lightly#okay. stopped crying long enough to get this post out of my brain and onto my blog#gonna put Walking Disaster on loop and return to my Mental Illness Floor Time now#if no one hears from me for a little while it’s not personal i just. need to not be a Person right now. i’m so tired
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HENRY JEKYLL IS OCD CODED AND I REFUSE TO STAY SILENT ABOUT IT
#the strange case of dr jekyll and mr hyde#the glass scientists#henry jekyll#mazm jekyll and hyde#mazm#this applies to every version of him#they all have ocd FUCK YOU#I have ocd so this is correct#.txt
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alright i've been thinking about this off-and-on for over a month; why do i lowkey wanna see an au of M&G where george stays in france with jean? 👀
jean is firm, but not rude to george while mentoring him. he actually critiques him, but offers genuinely positive recognition of his improvements.
he's also really pretty, i can't lie 😳
he and george would make a ridiculously attractive couple lmfao
i wonder what kind of life that would've entailed rather than going back to england to pursue the king and a position in court. i wonder what george would've even done with with life if he had a choice! he plays the viola de gamba (the cello-like instrument) in later episodes, and seems to genuinely like that, so maybe he'd become a musician? literally who the hell knows?
#mary & george#m&g#m&g rambles#george villiers#nicholas galitzine#jean#khalil ben gharbia#i hate when characters don't have last names#it fucks up my tagging ocd
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i swear if you people start uwuifying OCD like you did with ADHD and autism I'm going to start attacking
#the general idea of what OCD is already so fucking wrong and harmful#if you start being like 'oh my little meow meow is so OCD' or 'its not a disorder its just a different way of thinking uwu'#I'M GOING TO FUCKING KILL#ALL OF MY EARLIEST CHILDHOOD MEMORIES FROM AGE 3 AND UP ARE OF HAVING PANIC ATTACKS#PLEASE GO FUCK YOURSELVES THIS IS A MISERABLE FUCKING DISORDER ITS NOT CUTE ITS NOT QUIRKY ITS THE REASON I HAD GRAY HAIR AS A TEENAGER#i saw this like 'i let the intrusive thoughts win' isn't something people use all the time for like dying their fucking hair#its exhausting how many people what to be all 'mental illness needs to be more accepted'#and then in the next sentence want to deny that your mental illness is actually harmful to you and doesn't negatively affect you#and its just because society doesn't accept your different way of thinking uwu#NO I LITERALLY WOULD HAVE KILLED MYSELF AS A TEENAGER IF SOMEONE HAD CONVINCED ME THAT MY MENTAL ILLNESS WAS NORMAL AND FINE#figuring out that something was Wrong with my brain was like the best moment of my life#and this 'no you just think differently don't try to change' attitude may be helpful in SOME CASES#but that shit needs to me pulled back on A LOT online because that framing can be extremely harmful to some people (like me)#knowing exactly what is wrong with my brain is literally the only way I'm able to not let it affect me#and it not affecting me is literally the only way I can function and live happily#like you understand that some people do genuinely have things wrong with them#and telling them they don't is beyond cruel
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god i need my dick sucked sooo bad. I would cross endless rivers of doom and fight every single one of my demons with my bare fists, naked and blindfolded, swim through the impending sense of doom that has befallen me lately and wade through mists that whisper about long forgotten embarassing failures if at the end of my heroic journey there would be some real sloppy toppy. The kind that makes you grip their hair and bedsheets and hold on for dear life. The kinda head so good you forget your own name. When they know a good balance between tongue and sucking i swear to god I lose my shit.
#i quit anti depressants so my dick would get hard#but i have an std and have to WAIT!!!!! til i can fuck again!!#im gonna go insane#ocd babe#rambles#🦊#ftm bottom#ftm puppy#ftm sub#ftm t4t#petpl4y#t4t bd/sm#ftm breeding#t4t breeding#ftm dom#ftm top#lmao
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Btw, OCD Keith truthers are so right.
#I don’t have ocd#but I have ocd tendencies#and boy when I see a good ocd keith fox I fucking pounce#vld#voltron#voltron legendary defender#keith kogane#keith voltron#keith headcanon#character headcanons#hcs#autistic keith#ocd keith#fic*#stupid autocorrect
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