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#ezuri speaks
ezuri6725 · 1 year
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If someone spooned me and played with my hair rn I think I might just ascend
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healingherhope · 11 months
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ezuri, she/her, 20 - @ezuri6725
this is a blog for me to chronicle my health journey as a person struggling with medical and mental health issues.
i have PCOS, insulin resistance, IBS, depression, OCD, and SPD.
dni: queerphobes, exclusionists, racists, (no)MAPs, fatphobes, thinspo/pro ED.
heavy topics that will be tagged may include but are not limited to:
disordered eating, medical trauma, vents, possible nsfw discussions, mental health issues, etc.
please know your limits and be safe.
-
things to note:
tone indicators are much appreciated, I have a hard time reading tone over text
this blog will be semi-active
I am not a medical professional. I only have my experience with these things and I can provide my opinion, but please see a medical professional for your health. I’m just a blog on tumblr.
I won’t share personal information but i will share things about my experience and how my life is impacted by these things. questions are fine, but they will be answered at my discretion
I am new to the community, recent diagnoses have pushed me to look into it and share my experience. If I do something wrong, break a DNI, you need something tagged, please let me know
my taglist will be under the cut. block if needed.
tags
#ezuri speaks- text posts that I have made or commented on
#stat boost- status updates/journal entries
#ezuri scribbles- journal entries/art posts
#food journal- food related posts, trying new recipes, cooking tips
#navigating the clouds- mental health discussion
#med- medicines/medical talk
#vdia- (nsfw) may include mentions/discussion of sexual topics, body functions, bathroom talk, etc
#vents- self explanatory
#sky- friends/moots
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markrosewater · 9 months
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Speaking of mass fight/bite in green, is Ezuri's Predation a break? It feels to me like it combines two green things (large token creation and fight effects) to get a not-green thing (removing opponents' creatures without using your own (that are already on the battlefield)).
It’s either very strong bend or break.
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generalb · 4 months
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Both Glissa decks are finally ready and I feel so satisfied. Now I just need to finish that Ezuri deck. Speaking of which, the reason I started two Glissa decks in the first place was because I felt that the two Glissa’s were too different to vibe in one deck. And now that I think about it, the two Ezuri’s aren’t exactly perfect as well.
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werewolfoverlord12 · 1 year
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Addendum Post Fall 9
Amelia jolted awake as the alarm began blaring overhead; a breach in Lab 1.
As she left her room still in her PJs, she found Alistair already waiting for her with a anti-compleation suit.
"Put on the lower half and zip it up as we run." He said.
"What happened? Is Urabrask okay?" She asked.
"We'll talk as we run. Let's. Go." Alistair said.
As they rushed towards the Lab, Watcher began speaking over the intercom.
"Please remain in your rooms. Once the emergency responders have passed, you will be asked to move to the safe rooms located on the other end of the facility."
"Precautions?" Amelia asked.
"Better safe than risk anyone else getting infected." He said.
"What happened?"
"Glissa and Ezuri were spotted infiltrating the Lab an hour ago." he said.
"What?"
"Don't worry, whatever they had planned, it had to be put on hold; Urabrask entered almost immediately after they did."
"Where's Urabrask now?" she asked.
"Inside. He set off the alarm and locked down the room."
Urabrask had felt... odd, since he arose fully formed from red mana and glistening oil. The parroting of the vile scriptures, the creation of the red sphere, the corruption of red Mirrans...
Actually the only thing that never felt wrong was letting the rebels stay in his sphere. And Helping them.... and building an army to destroy the tyranny of Elesh Norn.
In truth... a lot of things that went against Phyrexia's decrees felt ... good.
As he prepared to face down two twisted heroes, he felt the pulse of his blood in every inch of body. Felt the breathe drawn through his nose into his lungs. The weight of his arms and legs, the tautness of muscle and sinew. Battle in this living, breathing form was different than when he were a Praetor; it felt... like electricity flowing across his skin.
They stared at each other, waiting for the other to make the first, possibly fatal move.
Urabrask grinned, "Come on, we don't have all day children."
Glissa struck, slicing across his exposed neck. The shriek of metal against metal echoed in the room, and as Glissa feinted backwards out of his reach, she began to scream in pain. Her blade was dissolving.
Urabrask reached up and felt warm, smooth metal beneath the cut. As she snapped off the blade in her arm, Ezuri rushed forward to strike with his claws. This time, Urabrask allowed him to hit, and again metal screeched against metal as the former rebel slashed across Urabrask's stomach and chest. Ezuri watched as his claws began dissolving as well.
"What did you do?" Glissa asked.
Urabrask glanced down at the coppery red plates that covered his chest beneath the torn red skin. Pulling off his vest and shirt, he threw them over the console, and tugged at the loose skin.
"Evolve." he said, "I'd say you two are obsolete."
He tore off more of the leathery, paper-thin shed, revealing more plates covering his torso and arms. Reaching up to the back of his head, he pulled, feeling the dead skin peel away from his face and back.
An intense tickling sensation ran across his scalp and he watched in the reflection of his own arm as bronze horns erupted across his scalp and down his spine; brass colored claws broke through the dull black ones on his hands and feet.
The cool air of the room touched his new, living metal skin, sending shivers down his spine.
Skin that repelled corrupted Phyrexian steel.
"Now... where were we?" Urabrask asked.
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commandertheory · 5 years
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Quantifying Color Power Rankings
This post came about because I was trying to figure out how to quantify the power levels of the different colors in Commander.
Before I get into my methods, be aware that, by necessity, I’m condensing a lot of nuanced information down into numbers. Some caveats about this discussion:
I plan on focusing mainly on cards and effects that are generally useful in Commander. Although there are a ton of cards that are very powerful if you build your deck around them, they tend to push the power level of niche archetypes, rather than improving the position of all decks of that color. For example, while Puresteel Paladin and Sram helped White equipment decks with card flow issues, they didn’t do much to help White decks in general.
Also, we are going to be looking at the more efficient end of the Commander card pool. While Fissure is instant-speed creature removal in monored, it’s way too expensive to see play in Commander (EDHREC backs this assertion up; it’s in ~0% of the decks that can run it). When we talk about how many cards in a given category in a given color, I’ll be talking about cards that are cheap enough (in terms of mana) to see a reasonable amount of play, not expensive outliers.
Speaking of cheap cards, I’m not super interested in limiting the discussion based on budget concerns. I am gonna bring up ridiculously valuable cards like Imperial Seal because I think we need to talk about what’s possible in the format in order to get a good sense of where the imbalance lies. 
Alright, let’s jump in.
I would argue that there are only a handful of types of powerful cards in Commander. I think that powerful cards either:
Increase your resources
Improve the quality of your resources (e.g., tutors)
Answer your opponents’ threats
Kill people
I think that we can divide up those categories where it’s appropriate:
Increase your resources
Cards
Mana
Life
Improve the quality of your resources
Answer your opponents’ threats
Spot
Instants and sorceries (counterspells)
Creature
Artifact
Enchantment
Planeswalker
Land
Mass
Creature
Artifact
Enchantment
Planeswalker
Land
Kill people
We can also remove the categories of cards that aren’t that important in Commander or which don’t really contribute to any particular color’s power in this format.
For example, straight lifegain is generally not good in Commander; most of the lifegain we see is paired with some other category on this list (like Aetherflux Reservoir or Gray Merchant and killing people). Mass planeswalker removal and mass enchantment removal isn’t as important as mass creature removal and mass artifact removal because enchantments and PWs generally aren’t as common in Commander. Planeswalkers also have a built-in answer, so spot removal for them isn’t very important, either. The best examples of spot land destruction (Strip Mine, Wasteland, Tectonic Edge, Ghost Quarter, Dust Bowl) are all colorless so there’s not much point including this category when we’re trying to determine the relative power of colors in Commander.
That leaves us with:
Increase your resources
Cards
Mana
Improve the quality of your resources
Answer your opponents’ threats
Spot
Instants and sorceries (counterspells)
Creature
Artifact
Enchantment
Mass
Creature
Artifact
Land
Kill people
I want to clarify “cards that kill people” a little bit. When I think of cards that kill people, I don’t think of large beatsticks or token armies. If a threat is easily answered with spot removal or a board wipe, when it kills somebody, it’s more a reflection on your opponent’s failure to find an answer, not your threat’s potency. To me, cards that kill people are the ones that:
kill your opponents the turn you cast them and 
aren’t easily disrupted by removal.
You can Doom Blade a Craterhoof, but it did its damage as soon as its ETB trigger was put on the stack. Likewise, you can kill a creature in response to an Insurrection, but there’ll still likely be more than enough power on the board to kill you. Other good examples of cards that kill people are Expropriate and Exsanguinate, since they’re powerful enough to win the game almost out of nowhere and they can only be easily answered via counterspell. In contrast, I don’t think Storm Herd is a good win condition because it gives your opponents a round of turns to answer it and can probably only kill one person at a time without assistance.
I also want to clarify spot removal a little bit. I think of spot removal as something that can stop what your opponent is doing at any time. If it can’t stop the Zealous Conscripts that your opponent’s Kiki-Jiki is targeting, it’s not a great example of spot removal. If it can’t stop the Rings of Brighthearth from copying a Basalt Monolith’s untap ability, it’s not great spot removal.
So we have some categories of powerful effects, and we can consult Mark Rosewater’s Mechanical Color Pie article to see what colors have access to what effects. How are we going to turn these into numerical scores for power level for each color?
In a 100-card singleton format like Commander, what a color can do is not as important as what it can do consistently and efficiently. Monored can answer enchantments efficiently because it has Chaos Warp, but that’s one card in 99, and you’re not likely to draw it in most games. 
I think the best measure of whether a color can do something is whether there are enough efficient versions of that effect that you can expect to consistently find them by the time you need them. Figuring out when you “need” a way to kill your opponents or a way to increase your cards in hand is tricky, but figuring out when you “need” an answer is a little easier.
In some playgroups, you need to be able to answer a threat by turn 5 or you’ll die. Most Commander metagames are a bit slower than that, but it’s not super difficult to figure out when the haymakers usually come down in your playgroup; I think in most, it would be turn 8-10ish. Let’s say that a 90% chance to draw the effect you need by turn 8 is proof that a color is “good enough” for the purposes of ensuring you have an answer to a threat reasonably consistently.
If we plug a 99 card deck, a sample size of 15 (7 card opener + 8 draw steps), and a desired success percentage of 90% into a hypergeometric calculator, you’re told that you need to run 13 redundant effects of whatever you’re trying to do. This may seem like a lot, but note that some effects can substitute for others. A Beast Within counts toward Green’s spot removal for artifacts, creatures, enchantments, and planeswalkers (and lands, I guess). Efficient card draw spells increase the number of cards you see, so you don’t have to run as many of the desired effect if you’re running a bunch of card draw. 
Most importantly, efficient tutors are wild cards that count towards every other effect you could possibly want in a game of Commander. 
So if your color has enough efficient tutors that you can expect to draw one or more by the critical point in every game, then you only need to have access to a single copy of any given effect to ensure that you’ll be able to find that one effect every game. 
For example, there is one spell in Black that kills artifacts (not really counting Gate to Phyrexia):
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It’s incredibly inefficient, but it exists. If monoblack was in the same boat as monored, then there’s no way this could help you answer artifacts in most games. But monoblack has access to a million tutors; just counting the ones that cost four or less, we have:
Demonic Tutor
Vampiric Tutor
Cruel Tutor
Beseech the Queen
Imperial Seal
Grim Tutor
Diabolic Intent
Doomsday
Diabolic Tutor
Insidious Dreams
Mastermind’s Acquisition
Adding those 11 cards to Phyrexian Tribute, we get an 88% chance to find artifact destruction in monoblack by turn 8. Sounds good enough to me!
There only needs to be one color pie mistake in Black for the effect to show up in every game, and I’d argue that it’s the same for Green. 
Green is not supposed to be the color of creature control, and by the numbers, that appears to be the case. In terms of unconditional instant-speed Green spot removal that hits creatures, it’s basically just Beast Within. In terms of mass removal, you’re limited to Ezuri’s Predation and the newly printed Apex Altisaur.
Green may only have one Apex Altisaur, but it has a hell of a lot of ways to find it:
Green Sun’s Zenith
Worldly Tutor
Sylvan Tutor
Chord of Calling
Fierce Empath
Fauna Shaman
Tooth and Nail
Survival of the Fittest
Natural Order
Finale of Devastation
Summoner’s Pact
None of the above are bad cards in Commander; most of them are format staples and you’re not hurting your deck by running any of them. They also make it so that you are practically guaranteed to find any one-of effect that makes it to print, provided that card is a creature.
Also, while other colors have to run 13 ways to kill artifacts, 13 ways to kill enchantments, 13 ways to kill creatures, and 13 win conditions if they want to have access to those effects by turn 8, Green can get most of the way there by running 11 efficient tutors, 1 Bane of Progress, 1 Apex Altisaur, and 1 Craterhoof Behemoth.
Not only does Green get to stretch its few extremely efficient answers very far because it has so many tutors, but it also gets to make much more efficient use of its limited deck slots. Those 14 cards that cover you perfectly across 4 categories of useful effects would take up 52 card slots if there were no overlap among the cards and no wildcard tutors in your color identity. 
With all that in mind, let’s take a look at how many efficient effects we have in each color:
Ways to Increase Your Resources
Cards
White: Mentor of the Meek (if running tokens/weenies)
Blue: Too many to count
Black: Too many to count
Red: Wheel of Fortune, Reforge the Soul
Green: Shamanic Revelation, Collective Unconscious, Regal Force (if going wide), Hunter’s Insight, Hunter’s Prowess, Soul’s Majesty, Rishkar’s Expertise, Garruk, Primal Hunter, Return of the Wildspeaker (if going tall)
Mana (permanent)
White: Knight of the White Orchid, Smothering Tithe
Blue: Trinket Mage, Fabricate, Whir of Invention (for Sol Ring/Mana Crypt)
Black: Cabal Coffers, Crypt Ghast
Red: Neheb, the Eternal
Green: Too many to count
Tutors
White: Enlightened Tutor, Idyllic Tutor, Recruiter of the Guard
Blue: Mystical Tutor, Merchant Scroll, Personal Tutor
Black: Too many to count
Red: Gamble, Imperial Recruiter
Green: Too many (creature-based tutors) to count
Answers to Opponents’ Threats
Spot Removal
Instants and sorceries (counterspells)
White: None
Blue: Too many to count
Black: None
Red: None
Green: None 
Creature
White: Swords to Plowshares, Path to Exile, Generous Gift
Blue: Pongify, Rapid Hybridization, Reality Shift
Black: Too many to count
Red: Chaos Warp, Redcap Melee
Green: Beast Within
Artifact
White: Disenchant, Generous Gift, Aura of Silence, Seal of Cleansing
Blue: None
Black: None
Red: Abrade, Chaos Warp, Goblin Cratermaker
Green: Too many to count
Enchantment
White: Disenchant, Generous Gift, Aura of Silence, Seal of Cleansing
Blue: None
Black: None
Red: Chaos Warp
Green: Too many to count
Mass Removal
Creature
White: Too many to count
Blue: Cyclonic Rift, Evacuation
Black: Damnation, Toxic Deluge, Crux of Fate, Hellfire, Nightmare Unmaking, Extinguish All Hope, Life’s Finale, Black Sun’s Zenith
Red: Blasphemous Act, Rolling Earthquake, Chain Reaction, Earthquake, Subterranean Tremors, Fault Line, Starstorm
Green: Apex Altisaur, Ezuri’s Predation
Artifact
White: Austere Command, Cleansing Nova, Purify, Consulate Crackdown, Hour of Revelation (kinda), Planar Cleansing (kinda), Akroma’s Vengeance (kinda)
Blue:  Cyclonic Rift
Black: None
Red: Shattering Spree, By Force, Meltdown, Fiery Confluence, Subterranean Tremors, Shatterstorm, Vandalblast
Green: Bane of Progress, Wave of Vitriol, Creeping Corrosion, Seeds of Innocence
Land
White: Armageddon, Ravages of War, Cataclysm, Hokori, Catastrophe
Blue: Sunder, Rising Waters, Back to Basics
Black: Infernal Darkness, Death Cloud, Contamination
Red: Ruination, Blood Moon, Magus of the Moon, Bust, Thoughts of Ruin, Epicenter, Keldon Firebombers (kinda)
Green: None
Win Conditions/Cards that Kill People
White: None
Blue: Expropriate
Black: Exsanguinate
Red: Insurrection
Green: Craterhoof Behemoth
Here’s what that count looks like without the tutor wild card effect. Some things to note:
I’ve capped each category at 10 unique effects because of diminishing returns; 20 board wipes are not twice as good as 10 and for most effects there is a maximum beyond which drawing more is not particularly useful. 
I’m including counterspells as spot removal for creatures, artifacts, and enchantments, although obviously there’s a temporal component to their ability to answer threats.
Green card draw is variable depending on whether your deck is going wide, going tall, both, or neither.
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What does this tell us about the power level of the various colors?
If you discount the effect of tutors, Blue seems to be in the lead, since its large suite of counterspells give it efficient answers to every spell type. Green comes in second, Black third, and White and Red are 4th and 5th, respectively.
If you include each color’s tutors as wildcards for effects for which they have at least one good card, the numbers look like this (highlight on big swings):
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Once you count tutors as additional copies of the effects they can search out, the landscape shifts. Green and Black get a huge boost from their tutors, to the point where the gap between them and Blue almost completely closes. In fact, Green may surpass Blue in a deck that can run all of Green’s somewhat-conditional card draw effects. Meanwhile, White and Red, the colors least able to tutor, barely shift at all from their standing when tutors are factored out.
Discussion
What does this tell us about how the disparities between the colors could be evened out?
It tells us that tutors are the real problem. To get white on a comparable level to green, Wizards would need to print 10 win conditions, 4 spot removal spells that hit artifacts or enchantments, and 5 mass removal spells that hit artifacts or enchantments; that’s 19 cards that all have to be efficient enough to see play in Commander. Alternatively, Wizards could print a bunch of enchantment tutors and then the few high-powered enchantments in those categories can provide all that the color needs, in the same way that Green’s creature tutors cover for relatively few mass artifact/enchantment removal effects and win conditions.
However, I want to note that Wizards is pretty down on printing new tutors at the moment. We talked to Gavin Verhey at MagicFest Vegas and he said that Wizards doesn’t think that tutors make games of Commander more fun, so it looks like Green and Black’s duopoly on tutors is unlikely to be challenged anytime soon.
How much does the raw power of individual, high-profile commanders skew this argument?
In both measures of color power level (with tutor wild card effect and without), Red was dead last. However, in recent years, the community’s narrative has been that Red has surpassed White in power level. I’d argue that these facts are not inconsistent, because the power rankings above do not take into account the power level of commanders. If you look at the monored commanders on EDHREC, 8 of the top 10 were printed in the last 7 years. In contrast, that’s true of only 6 of the top 10 monowhite commanders. I think this is an indicator that Wizards has printed better (or at the very least, more interesting) monored commanders than monowhite commanders in the last 7 years.
Another interesting point that supports the idea that monored has gotten more good commanders than white lately is that people don’t like running red cards, yet monored commanders are more popular than monowhite commanders. If you tally up the numbers of copies of the top 100 white cards being run in Commander, you get 859,692 cards-- over 250,000 more than Red’s top 100, which total to 610,187 cards. However, if you total the number of decks for all monowhite commanders, you get 7,850, thousands less than the monored commanders, which total to 11,716.
So the actual numbers of cards being run in the maindeck favors the idea that white is better than red, but people’s perceptions are skewed by some real sick legends in monored.
Counts of Monocolor Decks
White: 7,850
Blue: 11,061
Black: 11,241
Red: 11,716
Green: 11,235
Counts of Top 100 Cards
White: 859,692 cards
Blue: 1,175,579 cards
Black: 991,569 cards
Red: 610,187 cards
Green: 1,327,266 cards
Does this argument implicitly over-emphasize control with a combo finish?
I think the constraints of the format makes it so that control decks with a combo finish are more likely to win, and this argument just builds off of that premise. If the starting life total was lowered, the definition of what constitutes a good card would change and maybe more aggressive cards would become more generally useful. 
How does the cost of cards impact color balance? 
The fewer redundant effects there are, the more high prices handicap colors. There are a lot of replacements for cards like Imperial Seal and Grim Tutor, so Black doesn’t feel the pain of their outrageous price too much. In contrast, there is only one Craterhoof and only one Expropriate and the number of copies printed of those mythic rare cards has not kept pace with demand. This is a significant handicap on Green, since it can’t effectively make use of its tutor suite if you can’t afford the one copy of Hoof to tutor for.
Assuming the assumptions we’ve made about color balance are correct, how can White and Red shore up their apparent weakness, especially if Wizards is not keen on printing more tutors?
Well, Wizards can put a band-aid over White’s weaknesses by printing good commanders, in the same way that they’ve hidden Red’s fundamental flaws by giving it some busted commanders.
Printing redundant copies of effects White can already do will definitely help the color out; Generous Gift is a good start on this path.
However, these ideas won’t fundamentally solve the color’s problems. Not being able to increase its cards, increase its mana, increase the quality of its resources, or end the game are massive drawbacks, and without addressing at least some of these problems, White is always going to be fighting a losing battle.
When we did our episode on 8-mana game enders, we suggested that maybe White could get effects that draw the game, a la Divine Intervention, as a way to end the game that felt flavorful for White. The problem with that sort of effect is that it might feel a bit anticlimactic; at least with Craterhoof and Insurrection, there’s a visceral, Timmy-pleasing moment of attacking for a billion, and even Exsanguinate lets you cackle to yourself while you calculate exactly how much life you just gained. An 8-mana sorcery that says the game is a draw is not exactly an epic conclusion to an hour-long game.
A more appealing alternative might be to give White more overrun effects. As the color that gets the most creatures, it’s a little strange that White’s mass pump appears to cap out at +2/+2, while Green’s skyrockets off the graph.
From Maro’s Mechanical color pie article: 
+N/+N to your team 
Primary: white
Secondary: green 
White is the color most likely to pump its team, most often with +1/+1, but it will occasionally go up to +2/+2. Green's team pump starts at +3/+3 and often also adds trample. 
This seems like a pretty arbitrary rule and making this change would be pretty easy. Getting access to Craterhoof levels of mass pump will give White a way to turn all its value weenies, hate bears, and 1/1 tokens into a lethal fighting force.
As for Red, I would like to see more rituals (Dockside Extortionist was a great start!) to better enable its combo potential and help it sneak in wins before it runs out of resources. I think Red can get away with not having great answers or great ways to win a war of attrition if Wizards helps it become more explosive.
Wrapping Up
I know there’s a lot that’s debatable about what cards qualify as “good enough” to count towards a critical mass of effects but I’d love your input to strengthen the ideas here. Thanks for reading!
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Woof Elves (LIKE WOOD ELVES!) (Ha Ha Ha) (Please Laugh) [EDH]
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[Full List Here]
We received a interesting request from @k1996s​ to brew up a $100~ Tolsimir list themed around Elves and Wolfs. This list ends up coming to $88.40 with the lowest prices on TCG Player at the time of writing this! As requested there is room to upgrade in cards like Slyvan Library or Avacyn, Angel of Hope, and of course the manabase can be made better with more cash. But I think I managed to get most of the classic elf support in here!
Remember, if you’ve got a request for a deck send us an ask!
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Elves are a pretty straightforward group, they like to go wide and make mana. Creatures like Elvish Archdruid and Joraga Treespeaker generate a tonne of mana, while creatures like Lys Alana Huntmaster and Imperious Perfect create tokens which in turn lead to more mana production. The payoff for all of this mana comes in things like Ezuri and in the ‘wolf package’ creatures like Wolfbriar Elemental and Wren’s Run Packmaster.
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Speaking of the wolf package. tragically wolves are not a very well supported archetype. I’ve included all of the best options however. Things that make a lot of wolves in one go like Wolfbrair Elemental and Howl of the Nightpack, as well as smaller iterative generation like Wolfcaller’s Howl and Master of the Wild Hunt.
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The main win condition for this list is to either pump double digits of mana into Ezuri, making a tonne of tokens with Cathars’ Crusade out, or to just cast Craterhoof Behemoth. This type of creature based strategy tends to be pretty linear, ramping into an overrun effect and then turning everything sideways. 
The deck is mostly green (84%), but white adds some powerful stuff. Powerful removal in cards like Day of Judgment and Swords to Plowshares, as well as stronger card selection through effects like Congregation at Dawn and Bygone Bishop.
Stay chill, stay hydrated. Love you. -IZ
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mtg-brokentoken · 6 years
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Favorite card: Stuffy Doll
Card to Combo
Step 1: Find a card
-Done! It’s Stuffy Doll, my favorite card.
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Step 2: Break it down
Stuffy Doll only has 4 abilities, but each builds upon each other.
“As Stuffy Doll comes into play, choose a player.” — This is two parts. First, “when it comes into play” means that if you have something enter as a copy it will work, but something like Infinite Reflections falls short. This also means bouncing or flickering Stuffy Doll is a valid tactic. Second, you’re choosing a player, not targeting, so Hexproof won’t protect them. Note as well it doesn’t say opponent.
“Stuffy Doll is indestructible.” Pretty straightforward, damage and destruction won’t do much. This matters more for the next ability.
“Whenever damage is dealt to Stuffy Doll, it deals that much damage to the chosen player.” Okay, lots going on here. First, it doesn’t say combat damage, so fight, burn, etc are options. Second, Stuffy Doll deals damage in return, so Infect sounds like an option (less so with the next ability, but possible). Last thing, it’s damaging the chosen player, so you can play some politics.
“Tap: Stuffy Doll deals 1 damage to itself.” This is a way to send a damage to the opponent, fairly blunt, tapping is instant speed and naturally only once a turn.
Also worthy of mention, Stuffy Doll is an Artifact, a Creature, and colorless. Artifacts have a lot of ways of untapping and being copied, creatures can be untapped pumped etc, and colorless means it can go in any deck.
Step 3: Build it up
I’ve mentioned a few things, but let’s talk a bit about colors of your deck.
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Colorless - There’s Affinity for Artifacts, but that only makes it cheaper, so not a huge difference. Darksteel Forge is redundant as this is already Indestructible. Clock of Omens can untap it equal to roughly half the number of artifacts you control. Pariah’s Shield reroutes damage to Stuffy Doll, triggering the third ability, but keeping it around due to the second. With Pariah’s Shield, you might not even block when attacked, so it’s great for politics. Speaking of politics, Stuffy Doll loves an Assault Suit, so everyone can attack or tap with it (more on that later, since some opponents will simply abstain). Sculpting Steel makes a functional copy, Mirage Mirror makes a good blocker but it won’t redirect damage (since you never chose a player). Helm of the Host can be used to spread the love, so more opponents make deals to attack you so you can redirect damage. Even something as simple as Acorn Catapult can get some damage to the Doll while solidifying your board position.
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White - Lifelink is a great ability, you gain one life when it hurts itself and another when it hurts a player. White has a lot of damage redirection, can ping attackers/blockers, and does a lot of equipment support. You could arm Stuffy Doll with some pins and needles (or Feast and Famine swords) and swing hard, using your opponents’ creatures to hurt Stuffy Doll when they block. Speaking of blocking, even an instant can be a great help, with Valor Made Real (or enchantments like High Ground) letting Stuffy Doll “chump block” in a very hurtful way. Outrider en-Kor and other damage redirection go from being defensive to offensive tactics. As mentioned before, flickering is a great option for changing what player is going to get hurt. Your opponent is casting Star Of Extinction while it will deal 20 damage to you, a mutual opponent chosen by Stuffy Doll, and Stuffy Doll, so in response you Cloudshift the Doll and choose Mr/Mrs Star Of Extinction and they’re suddenly regretting the decision. Pariah is an option very similar to Pariah’s Shield, but Guilty Conscience is the shining star in white, starting an infinite loop that will need to be addressed (you’re in white, damage prevention is abundant). Felidar Sovereign is also a noteworthy option, if you’re getting Lifelinked.
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Blue - Blue has a lot of artifact synergies, clone effects (to get multiple Dolls and be able to have more options for who gets hurt), and Alluring Siren. Blue has a lot of ways to untap a creature, allowing your Doll to do more damage in a turn. You may also want to enchant with something like Curiosity (or Ophidian Eye, or both) to get a few extra draws. Don’t forget Rite Of Replication, Followed Footsteps, or Mechanized Production, so there are enough Dolls to share. Fabricate can be used to make sure you have higher likelihood of getting your Doll out.
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Black - Most Black tends to focus on life loss, rather than damage, but Corrupt and Tendrils of Corruption are both viable options. Black also has more tutors than most colors, so you can find whatever pieces you need from your deck. As with white, Lifelink is a great option, Stuffy Doll may hurt itself a bit, but it’s when it starts taking more damage that it really shines, so feel free to use something like Pestilence or Pestilence Demon. Stuffy Doll makes a pretty great blocker unless Evasion, Wither, or Infect are on the table, so use Indestructible to your advantage by having board wipes. Damnation goes right over the Doll like a refreshing breeze.
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Red - So, this is probably one area with the most to offer to Stuffy Doll. Whether using Dictate of the Twin Gods, Furnace Of Rath, or one of the various others with a similar template, Doll can get pretty intense (see also: [this previous post] Spoiler: 7 Of these make for 4096 damage). And red is the color most likely to be able to damage the Doll on a whim, with plenty of burn spells doing more than just one damage. There are 7 cards with “Bloodfire” in the name, and 4 of them are good for hurting your Doll. War Elemental can be unlocked by Stuffy Doll, and grows quickly, especially with Pyrohemia (deal one damage to Doll and opponent, then Doll damages opponent, so Elemental triggers twice). Red also has a few ways to duplicate spells. As far as enchantments, red does have a lot that can punish any players, for instance Manabarbs, but then you need something like Pariah’s Shield to redirect the damage to the Doll. Zada, Hedron Grinder and Harnessed Lightning used in conjunction can use almost all of your energy (depending on how you stack the castings) to deal 3x the number of creatures you have as an amount of damage to Stuffy Doll. Aether Flash deals 2 damage to any Stuffy Doll entering the battlefield (for instance if you have one equipped with Helm of the Host). Another great option, though with a couple hoops to jump through, is getting Stuffy Doll to be controlled by another opponent with big or many creatures (Harmless Offering, Bazaar Trader, etc) and then using Alpha Brawl so all those creatures bring the pain onto Stuffy Doll. Red alone does have a lot to offer, but shines most when mixed with another color, typically white. Just to name a few commanders as example: Firesong and Sunspeaker, Razia Boros Archangel (you can even route damage from your attackers to a non-attacking Stuffy Doll), and Gisela Blade of Goldknight.
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Green - The main tactic in green is actually to pump Stuffy Doll and attack. If you don’t have Lure or trample, your opponent can just chump block, so don’t let that be an option. Vigilance isn’t as much of an option in green (3 equipment give Vigilance and trample, so the Doll will be blocked but still available to block. Sword of Vengeance has First Strike, which could reduce incoming damage. Haunted Cloak and Forebear’s Blade), but untapping creatures is something green excels in. Rite of Passage makes Stuffy Doll slowly grow just by hurting itself, or if you’re looking for tokens instead of counters, Druid’s Call is a great option.
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Boros allows a great option for dealing, rerouting, or preventing damage (think Spitemare, Boros Reckoner). Orzhov has less options, but more lifelink and board wipes. Izzet can use Fatal Attraction and Paradox Haze, and Nin the Pain Artist keeps your hand full. Selesnya would love to wrap Stuffy Doll in an Armadillo Cloak. Going Simic? Ezuri, Claw of Progress would love to make Stuffy Doll into a beater, and things like Evolution Vat. There are options in just about all mixtures of colors for Stuffy Doll to be a great card.
Bringing Infect up again for just a moment. It’s at odds with Stuffy Doll. Poisonous is great, but if Stuffy Doll uses its ability to hurt itself with Infect, it reduces its toughness and negates the point of Indestructible. Also, if you’re attacking with the Doll, you’re reducing the power of your opponent’s creatures, so diminish the value of attacking. If you do have a way to ensure the Doll keeps getting hurt (Pariah, Pyrohemia, Pestilence, Lightmine Field), that damage goes to the player as poison counters... but you’re turning off the self-harm.
Step 4: Rev the engines
Guilty Conscience is typically the best option, but you need a third card to eventually prevent damage.
Damage doubling effectiveness increases a lot, since one damage to Stuffy becomes 2, and then it deals 2 damage to an opponent, which becomes 4, and there are enough options to increase this significantly.
Lure is amazing, but should be used with vigilance or ways to untap so you can still block.
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So if you made it this far, the reason Stuffy Doll is my favorite is because unlike so many other cards in Magic, it can be a centerpiece of a deck without broadcasting almost anything about your deck. It’s almost too bad it isn’t Legendary.
I did post about Stuffy Doll back on Sept 22, 2017, but due to having created the “card to combo” article since then and Wizards Twitter recently asking about favorite cards, I decided it would be worth going over.
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jones-friend · 6 years
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IF YOU WANTED TO SEE A GROSS ELF YOU’RE IN THE RIGHT PLACE!
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SEE THIS ASSHOLE? DON’T. YOU BETTER NOT. OR INFECT. DON’T. YOU AREN’T CLEVER AND I WILL FIND YOU.
MOVING FORWARD. It’s important to drop Ezuri as fast as possible, so I’ve added a lot of early game ramp, specifically turn 2 ramp. Turn 3 ramp is inefficient, turn 2 ramp allows a reliable turn 3 Ezuri so you can get started turn 4.
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The Silver and Copper Myrs are great, as dropping them after your commander gains EXP counters. Devoted Druid and Birds of Paradise have perks later on.
Once you’ve got Ezuri out what do you drop?
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One option you have is, like Hotline Marchesa, put your opponents in a no win situation. They will have two options: take a lot of damage, or block and trigger something. I like Saber Ants in this deck. Its a great Enrage trigger and it makes a TON of EXP counters.
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Spawnwrithe is an intense lil guy. Having Trample and Flying in Ezuri is really really good, and spawning EXP counters and a new trampler on combat damage is even better. Early game Spawnwrithes on their own are a menace.
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I’d also recommend a Cryptoplasm. Its a clone that triggers EXP counters and you can play it early game. One thing that is important to note is that clone effects will be especially potent in Ezuri since you can make the cloned triggers even bigger.
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ESPECIALLY POTENT IN EZURI. I used this to clone a Grave Titan and each creature dumped out two 2/2′s and two EXP counters, and got a 6 power boost to whatever counters they already had.
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Speaking of boosting power, here’s an endgame finisher. As an instant you can whip this out on the damage step and pump all your creatures on top of whatever counters you have on them.
There is one secret Ezuri strategy I have never seen used in a shop or online before..
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Now, you can load counters onto Treetop Village when its a green Ape creature/land. When it stops being a land, it keeps those counters on it. That means it can’t be removed or targeted at Sorcery speed, which means it won’t die to 90% of boardwipes. Vehicles do the same, Cultivator’s Caravan crews with just Ezuri. Chimeric Mass has two types of counters that can be proliferated. Faerie Conclave has Flying and Lumbering Falls has Hexproof.
AND THERE YOU GO ENJOY BEING GROSS OUT THERE WITH THAT WEIRD TONGUE I GUESS
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adashofstarshine · 7 years
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intrepidguardian replied to your photo “Tired, lonely and in a lot of pain. Trying to cheer myself up by...”
Speaking as a new death and taxes player, is your deck actually weak to engineered explosives or is that just a lie people made up?
Hi! 
Yes, Elves are very weak to an early Engineered Explosives on 1. All of the mana creatures in the deck have a converted mana cost of 1 and the deck doesn’t run a lot of land. (I believe there are at least sixteen 1 drops in any Elf deck.)
 However it’s best to get your Engineered Explosives out and use it early, because as soon the Elves player has an Ezuri, Renegade Leader, they can regenerate their Elves and it’s harder to wipe their board. 
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jacethebeltsculptor · 7 years
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Deckbuilding Challenge- Tana and Tymna
 I’ve done a lot of deckbuilding challenges before, but I’ve never posted them online. This particular one is inspired by an ask to @bace-jeleren, which can be found here, and is dedicated to @quantum-jump! Now, on to the deck itself.  Let’s start conditions of the challenge- First, this is a theme deck. This is a deck meant to celebrate lesbians, and in a broader sense, women in Magic. As a result, I’m restricting myself to using only female-identified named characters (Legendary Creatures and Planesewalkers) for this. The next aspect of this challenge is that the deck should be of a “fair” power level- as a result, I’ll be avoiding two or three card combos and “win the game” clauses like Tooth and Nail---> Avenger of Zendikar/ Craterhoof Behemoth. The final criteria is that the deck be budget-ish, which I’ve chosen to interpret as any card, at the time of the writing of this article, will be 3$ or less, with some exceptions made.  Additionally, three specific characters were mentioned for the 99- Chandra, Nissa, and Oviya. Given the deck’s theme, I’m going to assume it’s because Chandra/Nissa is one of the cutest bloody pairings in this fandom. So, to keep this from killing your dash, the rest comes under a cut. Onward!
THE COMMANDERS Tana, the Bloodsower  -Tana wants her power pumped up to get more value off of her triggers.  -Tana wants global buffs so that her tokens benefit from her damage buff, too.  Tymna, the Weaver -Tymna wants us to go wide with tokens to get the most out of her trigger.  -She rewards us for attacking early, wide, and often by keeping our hand filled.  Between the two of them, it’s clear we want to be building a token aggro deck. These usually consist of two important parts- token generators and Anthem effects. Since we already have a token generator in the Command Zone, we can focus on the Anthems in the maindeck. I’ll be breaking down my card inclusions by group, but I won’t talk about most cards individually. If you have any questions about why I chose a certain card, don’t hesitate to ask.  THEME CARDS As it so happens, plenty of strong, powerful, interesting, and otherwise amazing women who work well with the tokens theme we have going here. Chandra, Flamecaller generates tokens to attack with, can help clear a board, and keeps your hand filled with relevant cards. Nissa, Voice of Zendikar generates tokens or pumps all of the ones we already have. Arlinn Kord, one of the few older women in the game, does it all- pumps the whole team, creates tokens, or pumps Tana for mad damage. Elspeth, Sun’s Champion, dearly departed, can create a whopping three tokens a turn, clear the board of big threats, and gets to her game-winning ultimate rather quickly.  Vraska, the Unseen can tick up undisturbed, blow up a problem permanent, and her ult is a fair, but difficult to achieve, “alternate win con”. Adrianna, Captain of the Guard is  both a woman who will fight tooth and nails for her ideals and a devastating anthem effect. Queen Marchesa is a ruthless, ambitious woman who will stop at nothing to get the throne. In a game, she’ll do one of two things for you- draw you cards via the Monarch mechanic or make you tokens to attack your opponents with. Often both. Captain Sisay can call to arms many of your best cards in this deck, and will easily be able to assemble a badass crew. Fumiko the Lowblood is a monster in combat, and can really help get the table brawling to bring a game to an end. Saska the Unyielding doubles your ability to punch the patriarchy in the face, all the while bringing a damn respectable body of her own to the table. I mean... come on, look at those arms. They’re amazing. Pia Nalaar is the mom of one of the badassiest characters in the game, and you can see where Chandra gets it. Bringing a token with her to attack with, and coming with some situational abilities to help keep the board clear, I think Pia deserves her spot.   Ink-Eyes, Servant of Oni’s Ninjitsu ability is trivially easy to trigger when you’re going as wide as we are, and the creature kill is awesome. Kari Zev, Skyship Raider (a personal favourite from Kaladesh!) brings a token and great evasive creature abilities to the table, and scales incredibly well with anthem and pump abilities. Speaking of pump abilties, Kolaghan, the Storm’s Fury provides a +1/+0 buff every time she attacks. Okay, fine, she’s cheating *a little bit* on flavour, but a lot of people just really wanna date Elesh Norn. Is Kolaghan such a stretch? Rakka Mar pumps out 3/1 Elementals for a frighteningly low cost, so she obviously makes the list. Oh, oh, crap, I nearly forgot Alesha! She’s got the stats and the keywords to charge into the red zone with style, and her attack trigger can bring back a ton of creatures that make tokens on ETB. Magic’s first transgender woman is here in force. Finally, Oviya Pashiri, Sage Lifecrafter is a slam dunk- token generator, mana sink, and all-around lesbian powerhouse. Just through the theme cards alone, we’re at a whopping 17 cards- more than a quarter of the way through.  ANTHEMS These are the bread and butter of our deck, and the reason we choose to go wide. Examples include Thunderfoot Baloth, Dictate of Heliod, Beastmaster Ascension, Collective Blessing, Glory of Warfare, Pathbreaker Ibex, Crescendo of War, and Woodvine Elemental. Other cards in this category, which is meant to include cards that reward you for going wide, include Hellrider, Wild Beastmaster, Brutal Hordechief, Firemane Avengers, Frontline Medic, Shamanic Revelation and Collective Unconscious.  TOKEN PRODUCERS These token producers are hella important to our strategy. Now, there are tons and tons of token producers, so narrowing it down to the stuff that’s good, but not insane, is pretty hard. I’ll try to keep it to stuff that generates two or more creature tokens, but doesn’t make too many without some extra setup. Aura Mutation and Artifact Mutation both serve the vital role of removing problem permanents while also netting us a bunch of tokens- the bigger the target, the bigger the bonus. Lingering Souls, Weaponcraft Enthusiast, Mogg War Marshal, Hanweir Garrison, Ghirapur Gearcrafter, Nest Invader, Ponyback Brigade and Mardu Strike Leader all just create creature tokens for your early game at a pretty fair rate, and, bonus, Alesha can return most of them from the ‘yard.  Cultivator of Blades and  Angel of Invention both make a few tokens and bring some extra power and toughness to the table. Deploy to the Front, Ezuri’s Predation and Mycoloth  can all create ridiculous amounts of tokens with the right circumstances.  OTHER STUFF The rest of the deck is going to be the least interesting part. It’s the mana ramp and fixing that a four-colour deck needs in order to function smoothly, the removal for problem permanents, all the  bits and bobs we need to fill out our last 19 cards. This section I won’t go into detail on, as it’s by far the least interesting, so instead, here’s the full decklist.  PLAYING THE DECK There’s only one interaction I feel is worth mentioning, and it’s that Breath of Fury and Hanweir Garrison, together, can cause you to take infinite combat steps. Well, kind of. Basically, as long as you can keep hitting someone with a token, you can repeat your attack steps as many times as you can get damage in. It’s far from infinite, and the plethora of ways to interact with it should keep it pretty fair. Other than that, make tokens, pump them, beat face. This is the kind of beautiful simplicity you get when you cut the basic Islands.  Other than that, if you have Saskia and Alesha on the battlefield at the same time, they *must* be placed side-by-side. Whether they’re calling to each other or getting each other’s backs, the warrior queens *must* be together.  Adrianna and Marchesa must be kept as far apart on the battlefield as humanly possible. Adrianna doesn’t even want to be in the same room as her. The same *deck*. There is some tension between them.  Chandra and Nissa must also be placed together on the battlefield, and if you also control Oviya, you must assume that she set up their date. Because she did. (Oviya ships it and so do I damnit) SO YEAH So, that’s a challenge down! Please feel free to leave me your thoughts and comments. Am I on-theme enough? Did I miss any obvious card choices? Does seeing more of these interest you? I’d love to hear all of your feedback. Until next time, everybody! 
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ezuri6725 · 7 months
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this is the chemistry chicken
reblog for good luck on your chemistry endeavors
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healingherhope · 7 months
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I hate being scared of my own body but I am
I am terrified of what is happening to me
I’m terrified of what this means
Having your perception distorted because your vision is blurry and you’re lightheaded when you’ve done *nothing* wrong is so fucking scary
I literally think I’m lightheaded because I’m having a heavy period and I’m losing blood
Or is this just psychosomatic? Is my body creating pain and symptoms because I want to believe something is wrong? And then I spiral further? Who the fuck knows! I’m so scared
And I’m so young
This shouldn’t be happening to me
But it is and it’s so scary
Nothing is wrong with me! Except my pre-existing conditions getting worse. Every day I’m reminded that I’m unhealthy and I’m slowly killing myself from the inside out while my coping mechanisms only make it worse
And every day I get more stressed about it. When will I learn? Probably never.
My vision is blurry and I can’t tell if it’s from high blood sugar because of too much coffee creamer or from strain on my body. I’m so tired
And so scared
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ezuri6725 · 7 months
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best part about having big thighs is that you have your own personal stress ball
you can squeeze, jiggle, poke, and slap to your heart’s content and it never gets old
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ezuri6725 · 11 months
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I want to be covered in books
like
Paperback books
Just
Laying on the floor buried in a sea of them
that sounds so good rn
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ezuri6725 · 25 days
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let future historians wonder how eliza reacted when you broke her heart.
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