#i dont know I’ve got a lot of thoughts about it right now
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AHHH LOVED THE AL HAITHAM FIC SMM but if you dont mind what was going through al haithams head when he realized she left??
-> the house will never be the same again pt. 2
synopsis -> after being incredibly disrespected by your husband, alhaitham, you moved to liyue. what is going through his mind when you leave?
a/n -> AHHH i'm so happy you liked it!!! and i don't mind making a pt. 2 at all sorry this has been sitting here for a while but i hope you enjoy! here is part 1.
warnings -> all hurt no comfort, reader never turns up lol
w/c -> 1.2k
it’s been about a week now, and you’re already settled into liyue. you’ve caught the eye of a bunch of passersby in the city- a sumeru vision wielder living in liyue harbor?
thankfully, you had the traveler and a kind woman from the qixing named ganyu able to assist you with questions about the city. the first day you got there, she noticed your vision, and asked you all about it. it soon led to the two of you hitting off the start of a friendship in a nice restaurant- with ganyu telling you all of the things to do in liyue, the jobs that can be taken, and how magical the lantern rite especially is. you mentioned to her that you had a passion for the arts, and she immediately helped you look for a side job to make a little bit of mora to pay rent in your nice abode in the middle of the harbor.
“so, were your travels from sumeru alright? i’ve heard trudging through desert is not a very enjoyable experience..” ganyu questioned, a slight grin to be found on her face. “though, i have heard that the city down there is very nice. i would love to visit for myself one day, but with work and adeptal business it makes my days a little tight.”
you nod before replying. “the city is beautiful, especially at night. theres a gorgeous stage down there too, where a young woman named nilou always performs on special events. it’s always been the most majestic part of the city, or at least in my opinion.”
ganyu lets out a noise of fascination, before giggling a little. “i would love to watch her dance. nilou is a familiar name, some people here strictly go to sumeru just to see her. i bet she’s as wonderful as everyone makes her out to be.” ganyu sighs. “i wonder if she travels? we have nice performing places here, too.”
you nod. “occasionally. it mostly has to be a big event for her to arrive, though.” you take another bite of your food. “but i bet if i asked her, she’d come out for at least a few days.”
that made ganyu smile once more, before she asked another question. “well, this may be an odd question, but do you have any romantic relationships?”
“well, that's the reason i decided to move here,” now it is your turn to sigh, making ganyu have a confused look dancing across her face. “my partner and i got into an argument. he wouldn’t stop overworking himself, and i simply just wanted him to come to bed. but he’s so stubborn, and he took his work stress out on me. there was… certainly a lot of name calling.”
ganyus look of confusion immediately switches to an apologetic one. “ah, you made the right choice. that’s no way to treat your spouse.”
you nod in agreement, before finishing your dish and pushing it slightly out in front of you.
“well, i’m going to head back to my apartment now. this was very nice, we should do it again sometime!” you smile before standing and putting some money on the table. “here, this should be half. have a good night, ganyu!”
“goodnight to you too, y/n! i’ll see you soon.”
now, back on alhaithams end..
he hasn’t been home in about a week and a half, due to his work causing his presence nearly 24/7. that pretty much means he hasn’t realized you’ve left yet.
as he walks home, he doesn’t know how he would approach you. does he pretend the issue doesn’t exist? does he keep ignoring you? does he apologize? he thought his mind would split open.
as he walks through the door, he notices that the house is a little… emptier, from when the two of you lived together. he walked through the whole place, looking into the bathrooms to see your products gone. looking at the laundry room, met with no clothes that are yours hanging from the clothesline. and now, when he went to your bedroom…
your pillowcases have been stripped from the bed, and your pillow thrown into the closet. there were only a stack of two pillows, right in the middle of the bed. now his heart was thumping, and really hard. he looked through the dressers. the left side was barren, leaving only his side full. the thing that brought tears to the mans eyes was seeing your wedding ring on your side of the table.
so you really left him. he stands there, shocked, unknowing of what to do. does he try to find you, or does he let you go? oh, how he regrets ever talking to you the way he did. if he just took your advice, you would be in bed, waiting for his arrival. likely bringing him into a hug, shaking all his worries and stress away as you whispered questions along about how his day was.
the next few days felt like someone kept coming over to his desk and stabbing his back with blades like his. he felt so regretful, doing everything he can to stay composed while at the same time trying to find where you’ve gone. dehya won’t give him anything besides “somewhere close to sumeru that’s not sumeru.” that could mean you’ve gone to fontaine, liyue, or monstadt. how would he ever find you?
he’d ask the gaurds, and they all told him you went in the direction of the chasm. getting somewhere, but not close enough. he could walk all that way and come up empty handed. he doesn’t have an exact pinpoint on you yet.
he’d ask nilou. she’d just shrug and say something along the lines of “i heard what happened, but i do not know fully where they went.”
he walked the paths of the city, lost deep in thought. everyone thought it was a little out of character for someone such as him to look and feel as lost as he is. as much as people wondered what happened, they kept their mouths shut.
and for the people who noticed your absence, too, they’d ask different people who would likely have knowledge. but alhaitham didn’t know where to go now. he could walk the whole chasm and still not have you turn up. he could check every apartment complex in liyue harbor, and knock on every door on the outskirts. he could sail the seas to inazuma, and walk every separate island to see who may be housing you, or what commission you may have been taken in by. he could fall down the very waterfall that leads an entrance to the enchanting location called enkanomiya. he could go to fontaine, dive under the waters, walk every rocky mountain, and even visit the fortress of meropide. he could fight every monster near the city of monstadt, looking upon every rooftop for signs of your art, blown through the city of wind. but he still wouldn’t find you.
now what he doesn’t know is that you’re in liyue harbor, and nobody frets to tell him that anytime soon. for now, they’re just going to let him suffer, the same way he let you.
#genshin#genshin impact#genshin impact x reader#genshin x reader#alhaitham#genshin angst#genshin x reader angst#alhaitham x reader#alhaitham angst#alhaitham x reader angst
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Phonesex with charles
Oooh that's something quite fun 😮💨
Thinking about you all day ❤️
Summary: charles was away for work, for the mexican gran prix. the distance was starting to torture you as you became more and more needy for his touch, so you decided to call him
Warnings: nsfw, 18+, daddy kink
At first you thought you could easily spend your days with him. But somehow the days went slower. Your shared apartment with him seemed so small somehow. But you clearly dont wanna bother your boyfriend who must be very busy right now. You just stopped yourself from calling him. What if he gets mad about it? What if he finds it silly? You were just staring blankly at the tv as you kept on overthinking about it. Suddenly your ringtone cut you off as you flinched and saw charles’ name pop up.
“Hey honey..” charles called out sounding so tired but yet happy that he got to call you. “Hey charles. Hows it going? Today’s qualifying was amazing! Im so proud of you!” You said as you smiled and you could feel your smile just plastered to your face. “Thank you baby and yeah im doing good. How are things with you? Is everything alright?” He asked as you said nothing for a moment. “What is it baby?” Charles asked, his voice sounding so concerned. “No-nothing charles” you said. “Stop lying, there is something wrong. Tell me” his voice was demanding. Ordering you to tell the truth. “Charles I… I miss you” you said as you looked down, upset about the fact that he’s not here but also scared about the fact that he might think you’re being a baby. “Aweh baby, i miss you too. I’ve been thinking about you all day. So much. I miss your touch.” He said as you smiled a little. “I miss your touch too” you said.
“How much do you miss it baby?” Charles asked and you could guess what he meant by that as you smirked a little saying “so much that im getting wet just by your voice on the phone” you could hear Charles’ breath getting stiff. “I miss you so much daddy” you whined out as your fingers went down to your shorts. You let out a soft moan as you could feel your wet folds. “God, your voice sounds so sweet baby.” Charles said as you squirmed at your own touch. “Louder baby. Let me hear your sweet little noises” charles’ words really pushed you over the edge as you could hear charles’ breathing getting heavier. “Daddy are you hard right now?” You asked, your voice so whiny. “Yes baby, fuck. Im so hard just by your voice” charles said breathlessly. “I wish your mouth were wrapped around my dick, making it all slippery by your spit” charles’ voice was deep and you knew that he was jerking himself off to you. This whole situation made you go closer to your orgasm. “Fuck im so wet for you daddy, s-so wet” you said as you kept on circling your clit for the friction you’ve been wanting.
Your breathing got heavier as your whole body started to shake as you felt your orgasm rush in. You circled your clit harder “f-fuck d-daddy oh im cumming nghh” you screamed out as you heard charles’ whimpering which meant that he came too. “Fuck baby, I’ve came a lot, i know you wanna swallow my cum right now. Dont worry I’ll be there soon” he said as he giggled and you did too. “I love you daddy” you said as you smiled at the ceiling letting your head fall back. “I love you too baby” charles said as he took a deep breath. “But now i gotta clean this mess by myself” charles said as you laughed. “Do it just this time. I promise to do it for you the rest of the time” you said giggling.
A/N: requests are open! feel free to ask what you want me to write! luv you ❤️
#f1#f1 smut#f1 x you#f1 x reader#f1 x female reader#f1 imagine#f1 x y/n#formula one#charles leclerc#charles leclerc x female reader#charles leclerc x you#charles leclerc 16#charles leclerc x reader#charles leclerc smut#cl16 one shot#cl16 x y/n#cl16 x you#cl16 x reader#cl16 imagine#cl16#cl16 smut#f1 fic#f1 2023#f1 fanfic#formula 1#forza ferrari#ferrari#scuderia ferrari#ferrari f1#smut
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Break it first
Written for the @steddieholidaydrabbles, day 2
Prompt: Came back wrong
Rated: M
CW: Mind control/brainwashing; Possessive behavior; Referenced character death; Aftermath of trauma; Aftermath of injury; Kidnapping
Tags: Kas!Eddie Munson; Dark Eddie Munson
Notes: So, I already had a fill for this prompt, but then @house-of-the-moving-image showed me this stunning piece of art and my brain broke like Steve's. We both have a bunch of other fills coming up for this challenge, quite a few of them collabs, and I'm so, so stoked to share!!! ❤️
He still remembers how fragile Steve looked.
They were in the boat house, Steve and Eddie. The others had gone out for supplies, but Steve had insisted on hanging back. Eddie hadn’t protested, even though the thought made his heart rabbit.
The second they were alone, Steve let himself slide down the wall and curled into a ball on the floor, face hidden between hunched knees, shaking hands clawing at his own temples.
“Hey, man!” Eddie jumped in alarm. “You okay?”
Steve took a while to reply.
“Fine,” he claimed, but his smile was a tense thing in a too-pale face. “Just headaches. Been getting them a lot. Robin thinks it's 'cause I got knocked around a few times too many."
Eddie quirked an eyebrow, pulled a strand of hair in front of his face. "That … happen often in your line of business?"
And Steve told him.
About fighting monsters with nothing but a nail bat. About Billy Hargrove. About Russian torture chambers and the headaches and the nightmares and the ringing in his right ear that never really went away. He looked so young, so beautiful, so broken. Eddie wanted to scoop him up and put him back together and hold him close so that nothing would ever hurt him again.
But he didn't.
Instead, he watched.
Watched how Steve squared his shoulders and put on a brave face for the kids. Watched as Steve threw himself to the front lines so that others wouldn’t have to. Watched as Steve got choked and torn apart, that golden skin painted in new scars, and told everyone not to worry, he was fine.
Eddie watched and Eddie didn't do a thing.
Because Eddie was weak.
Eddie was a coward.
It's a good thing he's dead.
*
Steve is still the one to throw himself into danger first. That's good. It makes it easy to catch him alone.
"You still have the scar on your neck …"
A flick of his wrist and the bats scatter into the clouds. Steve curses, scrambles to his knees, gropes for his fallen weapon- and freezes as he cradles his face in both hands, tilting his head up.
"... Eddie?"
"Not quite," he hums, sharp claws carding through soft hair. "I have his body and his memories, that's all. The name's Kas. I've been dying to meet you, sweet thing."
Those caramel eyes go wide. Steve tenses under his hands, tries to scramble away. That's okay, to be expected. He tightens his grip. Steve gasps as the vines on the ground wrap around his wrists and ankles.
"What are you-?"
"Sssh…" he brings their foreheads together, softly, slowly. Lets his mind wiggle inside the boy's, just a sliver at first, so he won't notice. Finds a crack, fine as a hairline, slips inside. Waits. "He was so in love with you, y'know that? It ate him alive, watching you sacrifice yourself over and over again. Seeing you suffer. Being unable to help, being unable to fix it."
Steve's mind flutters like a frightened bird as he encases it with his, gently, carefully. His arms twitch in their restraints, trying to break free.
He smiles. Always the fighter, his sweet boy.
"Dont worry," he coos. “I’ve got it all figured out now sweetheart. I’ll fix everything, promise."
"Eddie, wait-" Steve's mind flails. Realizes it's trapped, panicks, tries to break free-
And he pounces.
Steve struggles, briefly, but he doesn’t stand the ghost of a chance. He's human, and humans are weak. All it takes is a little pressure, and the tiny crack opens wide, welcoming him in.
Steve screams.
"I know, sweet thing, I know," he coos, curls himself around the boy's spasming body as he digs in deeper. "It'll only hurt for a moment. You'll feel so much better after."
He sees them now, the scars on that beautiful mind, the traces left by years and years of hurt. Sees how to fix them, sees what Eddie could never have seen. What Eddie was too soft, too cowardly to understand.
Sometimes, to fix something, you need to break it first.
And he does.
Tears at the cracks of that mind until it comes apart at the seams, shatters the fragments into so many tiny shards, grinds what is left into fine, fine dust. Steve screams and sobs and begs him to stop until his voice breaks. By the time the dust is ready to be molded back into shape, he is silent, bar for the occasional whimper.
He tells the vines to release their hold, cradles the limp body against his chest. He hums softly and kisses the tears from under the boy's unblinking eyes while he completes his work. He takes his time. This needs to be perfect.
"You with me, darling?"
Steve hums against the crook of his neck, so softly he nearly misses it.
When he looks down, those pretty eyes are blinking up at him, wide and wondrous like those of a newborn.
He chuckles. It's true in a way.
"Feeling all better?" he asks, claws softly tracing the shell of his boy's right ear. "Ringing should be gone?"
Steve doesn’t reply, just slips his eyes shut and nuzzles closer, every movement slow and sluggish.
He coos.
"Aw, sweetheart. You must be exhausted, that was a lot to take." He gently scratches at Steve's scalp, revels in the little sigh it gets him. "Don't worry. From now on, nothing's gonna hurt you ever again. I'll make sure of it."
Steve stirs a little at the soft press of lips against his forehead. His lids flutter, but they don’t open.
"That's it, honey, you rest. Let's take you home now."
By the time he has adjusted Steve's weight so that he can stand and start walking, his boy is fast asleep.
All of my holiday drabbles
#steddie#steve harrington x eddie munson#steve x eddie#steddie brainrot#steddie fanfic#fanfiction writer#fanfiction#fanfic#my writing#steddie holiday drabbles#hype's holiday drabbles
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I’m watching kardashians new season (i guess i dont have enough drama in my life💀) and i was thinking…
What about yandere family x reader BUT they have same kind of reality tv show?
I just think it would be interesting to see how they would act/how fans would like y/n and the family🤷🏻♀️
And the family can be as big/small you want.
Ps.i really love your stories. Keep up the good work🫶🏻
You. You don’t know how much I’ve been having a brainrot over Yandere rich family / Yandere platonic kardashians (mostly as a young teen). How dare you send an ask like this when I’ve moved on? How dare you-
But yeah this is a great idea OMFG WHAT IF YANBOYLOSER (AND BY EXTENSION AMIR) (YANTSUN FOR NEW READERS) IS FROM THE FAMILY-
TW/CW: Yandere and Toxic Family themes. Abuse/Neglect. My capitalisation Is EverywheRe. Horny Siblings. Stepcest(?) Adoptedcest(?) Pseudocest(?) transphobia (not from characters but from society)
The Qasem Clan was notorious to say the least. They used to be known for churning out talents, changers of society and the industries they so choose to venture into. Now they were just a bunch of hopeless, talentless folks with too much money in their hands.
All of them except you.
Granted, you’re an adopted child. The matriarch of the family thought you to be ‘too cute to be in an orphanage’ and stole you away during one of her various charity events she’d attend for the sake of face and bragging rights.
The paternal grandparents didn’t like you too much at the beginning. After realizing that they spoiled their children and grandchildren too much too late, they have grown to be tired and soulless creatures. Often throwing you to lessons because they were much to apathetic to bother with a child that wasn’t of their own blood. It was only when you excelled in literally every single class that they suddenly started pouring love and attention all over you. However the Yandere (and I mean the unhealthy part of it), comes when you realize that all this newfound attention will crumble the moment you fail — not to mention how creepy it is when they started to erase whatever made you look different from the family. The only people stopping them being the yan! matriarch who didn’t want them messing with the reason she adopted you in the first place.
but yeah because of them you’re known as the “qasem’s saving grace” and many people worship the group you walk on. it’s great and all. expectations of being completely perfect aside.
yan! siblings range from being horny to being absolute degenerates towards you. the eldest loves to grope you all over and absolutely despises it when your attention is not on them. but whenever it is, they’ll be off fucking some random stranger in front of you just to make you jealous. they’re completely in it for the chase, and get turned off when you show even the slightest hint of reciprocation. they’d be rich from the amount of sex tapes they have alone. though platonically speaking they’re pretty great actually. a lot of fans made compilations titled “[y/n] and [eldest name] being normal siblings for once” or [eldest name] being [y/n] biggest fan” for when you they show genuine love and interest in what you do.
middle child aka boyloser supreme here is the current heir to the qasem riches. why? because he’s a masochist- okay not really because of just that- he’s a hardworker despite his title and often gets high grades but because that wasn’t really extraordinary in the clan he never got attention for it. what he did get attention for was being depressed and being ‘not presentable’ or ‘filthy’. even then he’s still pretty smart and hasn’t impregnated half the town like the eldest so he’s been entrusted with the riches (also he can’t exactly impregnate since his cock is non existent… yes he has a bussy)
reality tv show wise he was kind of forgotten and/or only known for being somewhat smart until he transitioned and society being society made that a controversy and his only personality trait. until people realized that he’s just so much hotter all of a sudden as a boy? gender euphoria does things to people. a lot of edits between you and him feature the man staring at you from afar. or hiding his arousal that he gets from your existence.
there are many more siblings and other fam members in mind (particularly screeching over the maternal grandparents, I’ll add them if I get more asks to this) but i need to go sleep soon so we’re skipping to youngest child.
you know him, you love him.
it’s yan! tsun!. yeah the boy is spoiled to the max. he somehow spends a million bucks per week (probably on Taylor Swift merch). he swears he doesn’t want to fuck you but he already has a million sex toys modeled after your pp or pps if you’re intersex, whatever it is. the only reason he hasn’t commissioned an accurate wax doll of you is cause he’s afraid it’ll suddenly fall out of the corner of his walk in closet through all those designer clothes and into the eyes of the camera men (he doesn’t care much about his fans/the viewers cause they’re faceless as far as he knows). like eldest he has his wholesome moments when tells you not to worry too much about the show or how you present. though it’s mostly off camera, a lot of fans see how close you are. he also shows his support subtlely when it comes to scandals, like boyloser’s for example wherein he started wearing “feminine” clothes and slaying in them just to slam on those people with paper thin, fragile as glass masculinity.
…but yeah there’s a clip that went viral of him sniffing your clothes.
(will definitely add the women of the family one day….) (most likely if I get another request for this or if this goes big yuh)
#hns.txt💬#hns.ask💌#hns.amir#hns.qasem#yandere#yandere x reader#yandere oc#yandere imagine#yandere x you#yandere fic#yandere oc x reader#yandere core#Yandere family#Yandere tsundere#tsundere Yandere#Yandere boyloser#Yanderecore#Yandere concept#Yandere scenario#rich Yandere#Yandere harem#Yandere various#various Yandere
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Hey there! Firstly, big big fan of your art and headcanons, ty for your cool and awesome big brain ❤️ Now that you’ve seen the movie, I’m wondering what your thoughts are on Shimo??? I’ve just seen impressions of her so scattered. (I saw your post on how she will NOT be treated as a pet, and I so appreciate that.)
I will say, for me the ‘old gal’ vibes are so strong and I’m here for it. Like when Goji blasts his atomic breath into the sky at the end and she’s looking at it with such awe and her cute super gummy smile, it reminds me of when a grandma gets shown some common piece of technology that the rest of us are used to, but she just can’t heckin believe it because she lives in a damn cave??? I loved that.
hi hi! omg u think i have a big brain...... compliment of the century.... i must have ppl fooled bcuz i am viscerally dumb most of the time
anywAYS. gxk spoilers below (and a lot of ranting)
shimo my beloved💙 i appreciate most interpretations of her, besides people who are just straight up caling her a dog. and like, not in the way i’d compare goji to a cat? for me it's more mannerisms based, so for goji my main expression/mannerism inspirations are cats, wolves, and komodo dragons (obviously), and for mosu it's owls and cats, with a crumb of horses because of their 'ear' communication so i use that with her antennae.
sorry for tangent but anyways. i dont need someone barking at me that i call goji a cat/draw him acting like a cat so calling shimo ‘kong’s pet dog’ is fine. i think its the difference between goji having the personality i characterize him with + mannerisms inspired by other animals, vs. him having no personality besides Being A Cat. like, he’s a dumbfuck but he’s clearly an intelligent creature capable of communication and understanding. i make a lot of shitposts but truly in my personal hc i’d never reduce him to ‘pet level intelligence’
i think i’m extra touchy about people calling her ‘kong’s pet’ because like. dawg. did you watch the movie? she was JUST freed from being skar’s slave/beast of burden/abused pet whatever you wanna call it. why would you want her to become another creature’s pet again?(obviously minus the abuse) idk mannn it just feels…. reductive somehow. she clearly shows intelligence and understanding when she realizes what’s happening during the fight and helps to kill skar. i just refuse to reduce her entire character to kong’s pet status bcuz that makes me uncomfortable asf.
as a disclaimer, you’re welcome to have whatever hc you enjoy. me expressing my personal thoughts on the matter isn’t an attack on anyone who characterizes her that way, i’m just not interested in engaging with it in the slightest.
DOUBLE ANYWAYS i just needed to get that outta my system. TIME FOR CUTE FUN IDEAS YAHOOO
i’m seeing mixed info about her age so idk where she actually sits there?? i remember seeing something like she’s the First Titan but i also think the novelization of the movie said she’s only 3 million years old?? when im p sure they’ve said goji is 250+ million years old so…. i have no clue there lol. personally she feels less jaded and grumpy than goji does to me so my brain automatically sees her as similar or younger bcuz of my Grumpy Old Man bias.
i’m still workin out my ideas for her but based on how the movie ends i like to think she helps kong with relocating the apes to a better home, and they mostly live in HE. her n kong venture up for surface dates bcuz she gets what she fucking deserves 💙
goji nearly has an aneurysm the first time they come up, since mosu literally takes them for a lil tour of monster island. bro standing there clenching his fist like the arthur meme, he begrudgingly knows she’s right and eventually he gets used to it
i got more ideas cookin for her but this post is already too damn long cuz of my ranting time to stfu
SHIMO BEST GIRL 10/10
#gxk spoilers#kai talks#KAI FKIN YAPS SOMEONE SHUT ME UP#godzilla#mothra#shimo#kong#didnt have time to spellcheck dont @ me
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Just the Editor - pt. 2
summary: chris comes to get his sweater back after the edit session him and the reader had.
warning: idk, shit writing
requested.
✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧
(two days after pt 1)
he’s all i can think about. his lips on mine ad i sit in his lap. what i wouldn’t give to be that close again. im scared to call, what if he’s not really interested? maybe im just another girl that he can fuck and dip.
i don’t want to be that.
fuck this, im just gonna call. i gotta play it cool though.
“ok” i say outloud to myself, in my shitty one bed apartment.
RING RING
RING RIN-
“Yo.”
that was fast.
“Hey chris.”
“Sup, goof?”
“I uh, I still got your sweatshirt. I dunno if you want it back or whatever.”
“Uh if you want to keep it that’s cool.”
“Nah im good you can have it back.”
does he want me to keep it?
“Oh, ok.” he sounds disappointed, “Should i come by and get it right now?”
“Yeah sure.”
“Alright send your lo and i’ll be there.”
“K, bye.”
i hang up before i could get a response.
that was awful, i feel awful. maybe he does like me. maybe im just overthinking it. no he could have literally anyone. he’s not gonna like some editor.
an hour goes by and i hear a knock at my door. i grab the sweatshirt and take it with me to the door expecting him to take it and leave, as i open the door i realize i was wrong.
“Hi.” his voice is gentle, he seems nervous.
“Hey?” i look down he’s holding bags of chick-fil-a.
“Can i come in?”
“Oh right, yeah.”
he walks in right by me with a faint smile. “I didn’t know what you liked so i got a few things.”
“Thanks.”
“Yeah, no problem.” he pauses for a minute, i can tell he has something to say. “I uh, im sorry for the other day.”
i knew it, i knew i was just another fuck buddy.
“Oh it’s cool, i get it.”
“Get what?”
“You just needed to get off, right?”
“No. No, not at all.” he seems kinda offended. he looks down before continuing. “I like you, a lot. I thought that you’d get weirded out or some shit if i told you and in the heat of the moment i thought you liked me too.”
“Oh.”
that’s all i could manage to say.
“Look im sorry, ill just go home.” he starts to stand up but then i grab his hand and pull him back down towards me.
“Dont go. I like you too chris. I just dont want to be a booty call.”
“Never. I want you, only you.”
“Chris, im just the editor. You gotta know that im not special.”
“You are tho, you’re so sweet and pretty and ever since the other day your lips are all i can think about.” he grabs my face with both hands and pulls me closer to him. “I’ve always been scared of relationships, but for you, i want to try. I want you all to myself.”
“Ok.” i smile and hold his hands that still rest on my face. he leans in and kisses me.
“FUCK YEAH!”
we both laugh and eat the chick fil a he brought while finally reviewing the newest pod i editited.
✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧
pt 1, love you🫶
#sturniolo triplets#requests are open#chris sturniolo#new writers on tumblr#reader insert#fanfics#christopher sturniolo#chris sturniolo x reader#pt 2#cut the camera pod#x reader
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aita for not telling someone i know he’s being bullied?
⚠️ mentions of cancer + a suicide attempt
everyone mentioned here is in their 20s, with the youngest being 21 and the oldest being 28. none of the names used here are anyone’s actual names.
this is kind of a long story with a lot of moving parts and i can’t get into ALL of it so im trying to section JUST this off. basically i’ve had a group of friends for awhile. we met in a larger server and its a pretty big circle, so there is interpersonal drama aplenty. i stepped away from the bigger server and mainly maintained contact with 5-7 friends id made through a personal server and dm conversations.
one of the people in that server, erin (she/they) dm’d me to tell me they had to leave said personal server because they’d had a bit of an incident with 3 of the other members. they ended up telling me that they and the other 3 members had a group chat where they’d regularly talk shit about another person we know, bryce (he/him). apparently they all took something he said months ago WILDLY out of context to claim he’s a transmisogynist and therefore its fine that they bully him (this guy isn’t someone i’ve talked to very much since leaving but i do know him and we are on good terms. he can be a bit difficult to maintain conversations with but he very much is not a transmisogynist. also none of the people in this gc are transfem). like, they conspire in this group chat ways to make him feel bad. erin showed me some screenshots. its pretty textbook highschool mean girls behavior.
erin was also in this group chat and finally got fed up with them all and told them they need to stop trying to justify their actions. its pretty obvious bryce is not the bigot they’re saying he is and they’re just using that as an excuse to be cruel. the people in the group chat did not take that well so erin left and has also left any mutual servers they’re in with them.
she only told me all this because i offered to let her vent, but now im in kind of a rough spot morally. i think the correct thing to do here would be to let bryce know, but im being. kind of a coward about it.
this all may sound like im just throwing myself a pity party, but i am in a very, very bad spot right now. like i said, there was a ton of interpersonal drama in this group and i’ve been in the center of it before. it took a massive toll on me. so im not keen to get involved in drama in general, but also, mainly. i lost my best friend (minze, she/her) to cancer at the start of this year. i’ve known her since childhood and i’ve barely been able to function without her. we lived together. i still take care of her cat. we had the same birthday, and its coming up in a little over a week. i’ve been absolutely gutted knowing this is the first birthday ill spend without her in over a decade. i tried to kill myself a couple of weeks ago because i couldn’t bear the thought of it. i failed, obviously. and im fine at the moment but im definitely not perfectly well and im barely hanging on by a thread
i left the larger group because i couldn’t stand to be involved with everything going on. if i tell bryce about this group chat, i will be getting involved again. i dont think they know i know about it at this point but the only people who could tell him would be me and erin. even if i did it anonymously or asked him not to tell it would be incredibly easy to trace back to me. while im appalled to know my friends have been so viciously cruel to someone for no reason, since losing minze these people have been my only support network. they all knew minze, too. they’re some of the only people i can share memories of her with. i dont think i could process this grief alone
i know i need better friends but i don’t have them right now. i’ve sort of already got a strained relationship with some of them and i worry this could be the last straw and id just… lose them abruptly. and i know if that happened id put myself at risk again, because id be just as heavily suicidal but now with no one to confide in about it
bryce deserves to know. its the right thing to do, but it would cause me a dangerous amount of mental strain. but even though i say i don’t want to get involved i do feel, on some level, like i probably got involved the second i let erin even tell me about this. so i feel like im being a whiny dickhead and just making excuses but im just. im not willing to put myself through this again. not right now. aita?
What are these acronyms?
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say yes to heaven (track one) | tz11 x reader
cruel world [masterlist]🕊
word count: 2.1k
Rolling Stone
Date: June 28th, 2023
Growing up, Yn Ln always dreamt that she would become a singer. Her inspirations were figures well beyond her years, taking inspiration from the likes of great artists from decades past. Her melancholic style became instantly notable when she first hit the scene a few short weeks ago with her debut single, video games. Of course, none of her earlier works can be found on streaming services anymore, but her style has remained consistent over the years as she now releases her debut album in 2023.
interviewer: Yn, your album “Cruel World” has become an instant cult classic for music reviewers and fans alike. But what everyone really wants to know is what, and who, inspired you?
Yn laughs lightly, rubbing her palms on her jeans before she starts talking.
Yn Ln: It was [pause].. it was a long process. I was inspired by my real life [another pause] and my friends' lives. A lot of things went into creating the album. I’ve spent years working on it.
interviewer: Are you aware of the rumours surrounding the album? That every song is about an ex of yours? Trevor I think his name is?
Yn tenses briefly at the mention of her ex and swipes her palms against her jeans once more.
Yn Ln: Like I said, the album was inspired by things I've gone through. I don’t feel the need to put names to songs.
She laughs lightly trying to ease the tension of the room.
Interviewer: Well, regardless, Cruel World is an amazing album.
Yn smiled politely, taking a sip of her coffee.
when yn hughes first laid her eyes on trevor zegras, she felt a spark. when she went to bed that night she didn’t dream about her favourite characters, or books, she didn’t even create perfect little scenarios. no, she fell asleep to thoughts of her brothers best friend. his soft hair, the way he glided the puck across the ice, his smile and enthusiasm when his team did well… yn hughes was doomed from the start.
‘cause ive got my mind on you
i’ve got my mind on you
you didn't actually meet trevor face to face till a week after first seeing him. your twin, Jack, had invited him and a few other friends over to the house for the day. you laid in bed, eyes closed listening to all the commotion below before you decided to go downstairs and greet everyone.
when you finally made your way to the group, you stood awkwardly at the bottom of the stairs. the wood chilly as you watched your brother and his friends play fight.
“I’m trevor!” one of the boys beamed as he stepped away from the group of rowdy boys.
you smiled softly in response as trevor ruffled his hair. “i’m yn-”
“jacks twin! right, i've heard so much about you! you know, i always wondered if it was true that twins had like, intuition? Is that a thing?” trevor rambled, his words fast and inquisitive, a habit which presented itself quite frequently.
you laughed, nodding in the small breaks of trevors words as he kept talking about twins and their behaviours he had apparently heard about.
when he finally stopped his speech, yn answered his first of many questions. “i mean i dont know about intuition but…”
“trev!” jack called, “get over here, stop talking to yn!”. he was shaking an xbox controller, gesturing for trevor to come join their group of friends who were lounging on the sofa ready to play.
“but he always seems to pick up on when i'm having a good time” you smiled cheekily.
trevors face burned red and he rubbed at his neck absentmindedly as he looked you up and down. you watched his eyes trail, and you had never felt so giddy in all of your life. butterflies fluttered in your stomach until trevor broke away from you.
“Ill uh- ill.. i’ll see you around,” trevor finished lamely, clearly feeling the same giddiness you felt as he sharply turned away from you and sat next to your brother. you stood in your spot for another second, watching as trevor tried to hide his smile from your brother.
the house was quiet as you made your way into your kitchen for a glass of water. you had fallen after working on some music and you woke up dazed and a little confused.
you open the fridge, the little light partially illuminating the kitchen. a figure moves out of the darkness causing you to jump and let out a little shriek.
your breathing speeds up, one of your hand coming to rest over your mouth as trevor steps into the light of the fridge.
“Its just me!” trevor says, voice hoarse with sleep. he lays a had on your shoulder, watching you with wide eyes as you try to calm yourself down.
“what are you doing here?” you asked breathlessly as your breathing started to slow.
“uh your parents let me and a few other guys stay over tonight” trevor explained, hand still resting on your shoulder.
“what? when?” trevors hand falls from your shoulders and moves to brush through his hair.
“after dinner. you were up in your room playing… the guitar was it? It sounded really nice”
“thanks…” your face heated and you were so glad that you hadn't decided to turn the kitchen light on.
“what were you working on anyway?” trevor changed the subject as he opened the fridge and pulled out a jug of milk.
your nose crinkled as he grabbed his discarded cup and poured himself a glass. “oh you know,” you shrugged your shoulders. you didn’t know why you did it but you never wanted to talk about your music. with all your brother's talents and successes, you felt that you choosing music was an embarrassment to your family even though you knew at heart that it wasn’t true.
trevor must have picked up on your hesitancy so he shrugged, bringing his glass of milk to his lips as he took another swig.
“milk?” you questioned, and trevor held the glass out for you to take.
“want some?” he asked, tilting the glass towards you.
“definitely not”
“it makes your bones strong and stuff, you should try it”
“Trevor i've drank milk before,” you say sarcastically.
“well yeah but like, you know what i mean”
you rolled your eyes playfully, “okay fine give me the glass,” you reached your hand out and trevor passed his cup to you. you peered into the cup.
“its just milk it's not gonna hurt you” trevor laughed as he leaned back against the kitchen counter.
you tentatively took a sip and when you finished you passed the glass back to trevor.
“how was it?”
“gross”
“yeah okay,” trevor rolled his eyes, leaning his head back as he finished the rest of the glass.
you reached past trevors shoulder, grabbing a glass to fill with water.
“well, im going to go to bed,” trevor nods to you as he sets his now empty glass in the sink.
“goodnight,” you respond as you fill your glass.
“yah night,” trevor walks out of the kitchen and you watch him leave.
what the hell was that? you whisper to yourself, downing the rest of your water before heading to bed yourself.
the next few weeks followed similarly. you and trevor would have these weird random moments, and you would both awkwardly smile at each other and move on with your days. that was until the boys decided to have a bonfire now that your parents were out of town to celebrate the start of the summer.
you felt the warm heat of the fire on your legs as you sat near the pit with your friend. you watched absentmindedly as trevor talked to his friends before you felt the weight of your friend's hand on your shoulder.
“you know yn, if you want him that badly then…” you whipped your head around at your friends words.
“what?” your eyes were wide in shock. you hadn’t told anybody about your growing feelings for trevor.
“I’m just saying you’re not being really secretive…”
“he's my brother's best friend” you shrugged, your eyes drifting from your friend and back to the boy in question. He was nursing a beer he had somehow managed to sneak past his own parents.
“okay… what does that have to do with anything? hes hot” your friend shrugs.
“hes also jacks teammate it just, it wouldn't work out the way i’d want it to” you expressed your reasons on why you couldn't date trevor and it sounded more ridiculous each time. you knew you wanted to be with him, and honestly, jack wasn't what you were worried about. you were more worried of the possible rejection. sure you and trevor had spent time together and talked. but majority of that time was when the two of you were alone. what if trevor doesn't want anything more than the private meetups?
“how do you want it to work out?”
you fiddled with your hands, ignoring your friends question.
“he clearly likes you though, if that's what you're worried about” you hummed in response, lazily turning your head to look at trevor again. He smiled at you when he caught you looking. you didn't have the energy to look away. you knew then that you'd rather be rejected then not with him at all.
let the fear you have fall way
i’ve got my eye on you
i’ve got my eye on you
say yes to heaven
say yes to me
“trev!” you hear jack call from across the fire pit, “can you go get us more marshmallows?” the boy easily agrees as he stands up from his lawn chair and begins to make his way inside.
“Yn im thirsty!” your friend quickly says, pushing you up and off your seat. “can you get me a root beer?” she pleads, causing your brothers and his friends to shift their attention to the two of you. you quickly catch on to what she's doing, and you nod with enthusiasm.
“does anyone else want something?” you ask the group as you slowly back away. Jack asks for water, and you nod before following Trevor into your house.
the house was silent as the two of you worked your way around the kitchen. just as trevor was about to make his way back outside again, you stopped him. your hand tugged on his wrist and he was turning back to face you.
“trevor,” you breathed out, a little shocked at your sudden courage.
“yn,” he whispered back. you could hear the faint sound of the fire crackling and everyone's laughter out in the backyard.
it felt magnetic, the pull that brought your lips up to meet his. the kiss was soft and innocent. something that could easily be explained away as a spur of the moment thing. you refused to let it.
“yn,” trevor whispered again, this time painfully.
“trevor,” you were hopeful.
he kissed you again, one of his hands coming down to settle on your waist as your arm wrapped itself around his neck.
when you both pulled apart, trevor rested his forehead against yours, his breath slowing down as you both relaxed.
“we cant do this,” trevor said almost regretfully as his head turned at the sound of your brothers loud voice teasing cole.
“we can do whatever we want” you replied, ignoring all the background noise.
“jacks your twin. he's my teammate. my best friend. i can't just-”
“say yes to me” you blurted and your face heated up instantly.
“It's not that easy-”
“yes it is. trevor just say yes to me and we can figure out what to do with jack later,”
trevor seemed unsure of what to say for the first time.
“What's taking you so long! damn!” jacks voice pops the bubble you and trevor had built not even a minute earlier.
“sorry i couldn't find the marshmallows,” trevor mumbles, stepping away from you and towards your brother.
“why didn’t you help hin y/n? don't be rude” your brothers voice seemed to pierce the quiet of the kitchen.
“he didn’t want me to help,” you replied quietly, reaching behind you for the water bottle jack had asked for earlier.
“well that was stupid. she literally lives here z she knows where everything is,” jack responded cluelessly.
“Yeah, right, my bad” trevor nodded along with his words as he watched jack reach into a corner cabinet to retrieve a bag of marshmallows.
I’ll put my red dress on, get it on
and if you fight, i’ll fight
it doesn’t matter, now its all gone
i got my mind on you
ynhughes
liked by jackhughes, trevorzegras, yourbff, and others
ynhughes ❤️
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yourbff hottest bff ever🤤
ynhughes love u
jackhughes “❤️”
ynhughes if u dont leave me alone…
[insta dms]
trevorzegras: I’m sorry about that night
trevorzegras: I just don't want jack mad at me yk? I do really like you and I shouldn't have just left things like that
ynhughes: what are you trying to say?
trevorzegras: That i'm saying yes to you
trevorzegras: and that i’m sorry
present day
ynhughes
liked by lhughes_06, colecaufield, yourbff, and others
ynhughes say yes to heaven, mv out now❤️ i love u all so much
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yourbff im crying real tears i love you so so much
ynhughes i love u more forever
fan01 just listened to say yes to heaven for the first time and it's soo beautiful
fan02 love you so much yn
liked by ynhughes
lhughes_06 very cool
#cruel world au#trevor zegras x reader#trevor zegras fic#trevor zegras imagine#jack hughes x reader#nhl fanfiction#nhl imagine#nhl blurb#nhl fic#luke hughes x reader#quinn hughes x reader
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The one that got away— hanni au.
Synopsis: you were hanni’s totga.
“I’m so excited to finally meet your girlfriend, Dani,” minji cheerily said, “you’ve been so secretive about her, now we actually get to see her!”
Dani could only giggle in amusement, and a mix of excitement course through her vein at the thought that the people she treated like her own family finally got to meet you, one she’s been dying to do. But never had the right moment, and now was the perfect time.
“Wow, I’ve never seen dani this giddy before, she must be really serious about her, huh,” hyein perked.
The other three latters could only nod in agreement.
Ever since she started dating you, dani has been twice as happy as her usual cheerful mood, she seemed really a lot happier, ever since you came into her life.
“Dani!” You called out a few distance away, it was a voice dani has grown to recognize, but for hanni it was a voice she has been longing and aching for so long. It was a voice she had been waiting to hear again, a voice that had left an indelible mark on her soul. She had memorized every rhythm, every tune, every sound of the voice. From the moment it disappeared.
“Guys, this is my girlfriend,” dani smiled, clinging onto your arms.
"yn," before danielle could introduce you, hanni already beat her to it, it has been so long since she has said your name. Yet it was name she could never forget, a name that was unheard from her voice, but never in her thoughts.
“You remembered!”
Hanni couldn’t help but laugh, except her laughter wore a frown.
“How can I not forget?” Hanni mumbled, the other girls, could only look at Hanni weirdly. Noticing her odd behavior, as she stared at you with a deep familiarity.
“Do you guys know each other?” Haerin asked, noticing the tension between you both.
You could only hold an uptight smile, “hey han.”
Hanni, could only look down at the carpeted floor, gripping tightly on her dress. Avoiding your eyes.
Minji nudges her, trying to get her attention.
“Yes, I know her.”
“yn and I, dated. Before we even debuted. I called things off because I knew it would only end badly for the both of us, now that i was an idol.”
There was a second of silence in the table as everyone could only fathom the information that was heavily dropped in the dinner table.
You held your breath, gazing at Hanni who avoided yours.
“What a small world,” Hyein nervously laugh, trying to relieve the thickening tension. But it didn’t work as it only became more awkward.
“Do you guys want to talk?” Dani, asked. Staring back and fourth at both of you.
“No,” Hanni quickly said with an unsteady breath, “actually I think I need a breather, I’ll just go outside. You dont need to look for me, I’ll be back,” she quickly stood up, grabbing her things and swiftly out the door.
You tried to chase after her but you realised dani was still holding onto your arm, you stopped yourself, yet dani looked back at you letting go of your arms pushing you towards the direction where Hanni ran off to.
You look at her with worry.
“It’s okay, go, talk to her,” she reassures you.
You walked out to the direction where hanni left and you saw her sitting on one of the pavements. Crouch down her knees hugging each other as she played with her fingers.
“Han?” You hesitantly called out for her.
She didn’t bother to look at you, knowing well it was the sound of your voice. You sat beside her.
There was a aching silence between you both, only the street light as your source of illumination.
“I’m sorry, han.”
“You don’t have to apologise,” she mumbled, looking back at you before turning her head down, “I’m okay. I’m happy you moved on.”
“Han..” you spoke softly, and that only seemed to hurt hanni even more.
She knew no fool would be convince at her obvious lie.
“I just wish I didn’t let you go, yn,” she admitted, “ i was a fool to let you go. I knew from the start it would be my biggest regret, but I had to, I didn’t want to make it hard for you. For the both of us. I wouldn’t have time for you, and I thought if I became an idol, I can’t give you the love you deserve, the attention you deserve. I thought I had no choice.”
“But you did have a choice, han. You know I would understand.”
“Exactly!” She says with a shaky breath, “I knew you would understand. I knew you would wait. But it hurt me to see you understand me, yn—when you can have someone who is more willing to give you the love you deserve, something I know I wouldn’t be able to give you all the time.”
“Han, I didn’t want anyone’s love more than yours.”
She lowered her head again.
“You know throughout those years, I wondered if you found someone else. I wondered if someone made you happier than you were with me.”
She paused, calming down her breath, blinking the tears away.
“Now I know you are.”
You try to reach for her hands but she only pushes it away, shaking her head as she hides her tears from you.
“It’s okay, yn. I know someday I’ll be fine. I know someday I’ll be happy seeing you with someone else that isnt me,” she stares back at you. Her eyes filled with sincerity. “But for now, just give me time.”
“Han, I’m sorry,” you wanted to say something more, but you know that’s the only thing you could really say.
She stood up from the pavement. Yet she stood with a heavy feet.
“You don’t have to say sorry, yn. It’s not your fault,” she mumbles, “I’m sorry, but just tell dani I’m going home. I don’t feel too well, I’ll just see her back at the dorm.”
Yet, before she left. She looks at you one last time.
“I never wanted you to be the one that got away.”
And just like that, she left you again. But this time you didn’t chase after her.
#newjeans fanfic#newjeans#newjeans imagines#newjeans x reader#kpop idol x reader#idol x reader#hanni#hanni pham x reader
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Hey! I’ve been wanting someone to do this idea for the longest time but could you please do Rafe and reader and trapped in singh’s hotel and they have to escape together? Like they hate each other but they’re forced to work together to escape!!
can you believe i was thinking about something like this these days? i loved it babe, not sure if that was what you wanted but i thought it would be cute like this
YOU?
summary: you have to work with rafe to escape singh's hotel, and it turned out you both have a lot in common.
warnings: none (possibly enemies to lovers someday?)
(gif is not mine)
"You're gonna act like a bitch the whole night? Seriously?" Rafe asked annoyed. As if you had any other choice.
"I'm not acting like a bitch, i just dislike you! And i'm being forced to stay here with you, so what did you expected?"
"As if i liked you!"
"None said that!"
"You think you're that much better than me? J- just chill out and don't bitch about it, i hate you just as much and i'm not complaining"
You sighed. That would be a long, long night.
And it was indeed, but not for Rafe. He slept like a baby, and you couldn't even close your eyes, thinking about how you would get out of this whole situation. You thought about breaking the window, it was so stupid, but you felt desperated. There weren't many options, any options to be honest.
You got ready for run against the window, when a hand grabbed your feet.
"What the hell are you DOING?" Rafe shouted.
"Watching The Goodfellas. What does it seem like i'm doing, dumb bitch" You tried to get rid of his hand, but he was an hell of a strong man.
"I'm serious right now Y/n, this is not a fucking play, he can kill you!" He said annoyed, pushing your arm to the bed.
"Don't touch me!"
"Look..." he got on his knees, raising his palms, trying to make you stay calm "I know you hate me, and i know you dont trust me and you're stressed, but so do i. And it would be much better if we could quit it just for tonight"
"Rafe, you're a murderer, you can't just expect me to sit here and look pretty while we're stuck, you think i'll wait on you for have a plan?"
"I'm not a murderer!" He said, panicking. Oh shit. "See it...you have done some questionable things to that i'm not throwing on your face!"
"I don't i ever-"
"God, shut up!" He shouted. You realized it was worthless to keep fighting, you both had the habit of running mouth around. Both stubborn. Both have a smart mouth.
"I'm sorry for yelling." He breathed. "But i really need you to listen to me."
For the first time, you did as Rafe told you to.
"See...I'm the only one you have now. And you're the only one i have. So we either trust each other and work on this or we're fucked"
You closed your eyes, running your hands through your face.
"Please..." he tried to put his hands on your knees, but you shifted and he stopped. "Just for tonight, or untill we leave this place. Lets forget about all outside, it's just us now"
You hated to say this, and you never imagined you would, but you had to agree with Rafe.
You stood up, sitting next to the door. Rafe stared at you in silence, and after a minute, he decided to sit by your side. Avoiding even looking at his direction.
His breath was heavy, you could tell he was anxious. You were anxious too. Who wouldn't be?
"I like your shirt" he said all of sudden. You laughed.
"Thank you?"
He nodded his head. You were wearing a Red Hot Chilli Peppers shirt.
"So you like Red Hot Chilli Peppers?"
You asked, your tone was almost cold, but you tried your best to be nice.
"Yeah, they're dope"
"Yeah"
You both stared at your own hands, awkwardly. But you couldn't hold your laugh for much more. And surprisingly, so did Rafe. You felt shocked by hearing his genuine laugh.
"You don't seem like the type to listen to them"
"Is there a type?" You raised an eyebrow.
"I mean, i thought you liked Taylor Swift or something."
You giggled.
"I do like her, too."
"What else?"
"Anything, i listen to quite literally anything."
Rafe nodded. Another brief silence.
"I like Kid Cudi"
"Yeah you look like you do"
He stared at you with a frown and you couldn't help but giggle.
"Whats that supposed to mean?"
"It means that you look like someone who listens to Kid Cudi."
"Right, is that good or bad?"
"Nothing wrong with that."
He smiled.
"I mostly started getting into the Chilli Peppers because i wanted to connect with my dad, you know" You admitted. He didn't asked, surely, it was out of pocket, but you just felt like saying. It was starting to feel slightly comfortable to talk to him.
"I get it"
You both stared at each other.
"Most of the things i do are for my dad's validation, so... Yeah i know where you're coming from" He sighed.
"I'm sorry about it."
Rafe bited his nails. You never noticed how handsome he was, but now staring, he was really cute. You wouldn't say handsome...He was still Rafe. Maybe he just looked beautiful at that moment, being the first time you actually had a conversation and he wasn't talking about how much he hated pogues or high and acting like a jerk. He was acting like a normal guy.
"Thanks. I'm sorry for you, too" He looked at you. He always thought you were the loveliest thing, but you were always such a brat. He always tried to talk to you and all you ever did was curse at him. If it wasn't for that, maybe you two could have more conversations. He would like that.
"You have any idea in mind?" You asked, softly.
"What?"
"You have any idea in mind already? About how we're gonna escape?"
"Uh..." He caressed his buzzcut.
"You know, if we just...break the window-"
"No"
"Okay" you raised your hands.
Rafe stared at them. And then at you. His eyes were running all your face, and you blushed a bit, feeling uncomfortable.
"Stop staring, weirdo"
"I get lost when i'm thinking. Sorry"
He stared at his own hands, again.
"We could call him and beat him up, so we can escape" you suggested. Rafe chuckled.
"Thats your plan?"
"We don't have any other do we?"
He sighed, agreeing. It was stupid. But he was strong, he could deal with that man.
"And what after that?"
"I don't know, didn't thought that much far"
"We can run to my boat. I'll take you home."
You stared at him and nodded slightly.
"But only you, not those pogue friends of yours"
"There he goes" you rolled your eyes.
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hey, do you remember if mikoto/john ever made any comment about the viewer's opinions? fuuta outright tells the voices to shut up, amane acknowledges them when fuuta asks her about it, and mahiru mostly just feels like her thoughts and love are being rejected. i dont think mikoto/john ever even acknowledge the viewers thoughts about their situation outside the double mv and vd, and even then that could be about what es thinks about them and not the omniscient viewers.
They do!
It's one of the things specifically highlighted by Milgram and Yamanaka within his tweet about Mikoto's voice drama. Through the fact that they recognize and view what Es has deduced through Milgram as valid.
To keep it short. Mikoto references the audience opinions in these instances.
This has been editted to get rid of spellings errors and add more context. Editted on 02/28/24. (There were so many spelling errors to correct don't know if I got them all. I added so much more quotes from the timeline and interrogations and tried to adjust for tone.)
"Eheheh... But...it's not coming to an end. All of this. With things I've never even heard before, the whole ti- The whole time... Haah... I have to see through all of these irritating experiences...!" (Doesn't directly reference Es just that things now feel like they never end. Along with things he's never even heard before.)
"As for alters... Why do you think they're born?" (Specifically asking Es how they think this works instead of divulging any information he's heard from the audience that would in fact be beneficial to Es who after being asked immediately shows they don't know a damn thing about it. Staying consistent with what happened in Amane's voice drama prior.)
"Right. You're decision to not forgive me is especially stress inducing." (Recognition of the punishment attached to the guilty verdict working properly for Mikoto and that's adding to his stress. So, yeah he's hearing the voices.)
"You know that because of Milgram! I don't care about the law, I want to know what you think!"
His birthday interaction from last year. (Him asking if there's really another him implies, he has heard the audience bring it up.)
His birthday interaction with Futa after his verdict.
21/10/06 (Mikoto’s Birthday)
Mikoto: ……ah, Futa? What’s up? Did you come to celebrate my birthday?
Futa: Hah!? Like I care about your birthday. ……what’s up with you, though, you’re usually a lot more excited. I thought you were the sort of idiot who’d make a big deal over your birthday.
Mikoto: Yeah, usually that’d be the case. ……I think I must be getting tired. It’s like I’m anxious over something but I can’t really explain what it is…… Like, the feeling that I’ve been totally wrong about something. Haha, but it’s not like talking to you about it is gonna do anything.
Futa: Yeah, yeah, just like you say. Talking to me about it isn’t gonna help. ……but, it’s not like I don’t get what you’re saying. Or rather, I understand exactly what you mean. And if it’s the same thing as I’ve been feeling, then it will just get stronger as time goes on…… probably. But anyway, rather than talking to someone like me you should go and bother the others. Go and get showered with their stupid birthday wishes.
Also, the fact that Mikoto's entire defense for his actions pivoted from I don't remember, and Milgram probably got the wrong guy by mistake to the other one did it. Which not much different from the excuse he gave before but was an excuse widely jumped on and presented by the audience after he was called out for faking for a good period of time and being bad rep. Well, to say the least- It puts a different meaning behind this line,
"“He’s a liar”, you said, and made me out to be a scoundrel, why?"
Since it encapsulates what his first trial was like in a nutshell. Where people either called him out for faking/lying or blamed the alter for all the violent acts making him out to be the scoundrel. People even posited that what we see in MeMe is fake because it's far more graphic than the others and cuts and that this could be due to him having DID and lookie here.
In fact Mikoto's mental footage was so violent... "It's unforgivable." That was my judgment.
"That too could be just a fake or attributed to multiple personalities, right?!"
Overall Mikoto, like many of the prisoners, does not state what the audience has told him. However, he heavily implies through his actions he's been told something. What that something is we don't know and given his first verdict percentage he would not be as inclined to tell us as the others would. Hell, even then a lot of others don't tell is. We were never shown what innocent does to a person outside of this from Mu.
21/07/05 (Mu’s Birthday)
Mu: Yuno. Don’t you have something to say to me?
Yuno: Huh? To you? Me? ……ahh, uh? Your birthday, right? Happy birthday~
Mu: How mean…Since it’s my birthday, I really wish you’d said something before I had to come and tell you myself.
Yuno: Right, right, I’m sorry. I’ll be more careful in future~ Later! Haha… things have become even more of a bother… ……so was that Mu-chan’s real personality, then? It’s probably because the guard did something, right?
But yeah, since you were just asking if he referenced the audience outside of his voice drama and music video there's no need to read the rest here. What comes after this basically goes over how I tend to tell when the prisoners are subtly referring to the audience and other things but it's very long.
Now onto the interesting stuff. Because I wrote this before rereading the question and seeing you were asking about things outside of the voice drama and song. So, I'm leaving it.
Mikoto discusses the audience in the way similar to how Mahiru does. Never referring to the audience or the voices as an individual entity or directly instead either referring to that as Milgram collectively or referring to it as an extension of Es' actions and decisions.
Even in Double and I Love You neither of them refer to a big group of people but go "You".
"What you trampled is my, “This is how to be in love with you”."/ "“He’s a liar”, you said, and made me out to be a scoundrel, why?"
Unlike the rest of the prisoners who refer to multiple parties, Mikoto and Mahiru couldn't give a damn less about who is causing them problems and considers the audience, Es, and Milgram all the same entity. Never really separating the three. Because they don't care to.
Other prisoners that do this are Haruka, Shidou, and Kotoko if I'm remembering correctly.
"I will definitely make you love me again."-"Hug me again as you once did."
"You don’t even know yet, and yet."- "What do you mean INNOCENT, if this is my punishment... Now I see, this world is cruel and merciless. The vote that negates the option of death, the love that won’t perish."- "No thank you, it’s none of your concern."- "Shall I fulfill your request and elect to live."
"That's why I became your fangs."- "Tell me why you tell me, “Stop'. Don’t you dare stop now."
Kotoko and Shidou do something interesting in their second trial songs having parts where they both directly refer to Es and the audience separately within their songs. Referring to Es at the beginning and then the audience in the second half.
"I want to be INNOCENT, I want to live. So this is unpleasant, hurling slurs of “hostage game”, you do know that it’s up to me? That’s right, there are lives that need safeguarding. So hey, prolong my life, I’m indispensable. The correct answer, I don’t yet know, but there are lives that need safeguarding. So hey, prolong my life, I’m indispensable."
Shidou Trial 2 Voice Drama
"But... as long as Milgram continues in this direction. We won't be able to save those who get injured if I'm not forgiven."
...!
"Even now, Shiina-kun is in a condition where any digression could be fatal. She can't live without my treatment. If I'm not forgiven she will end up dying."
Just want to highlight how Shidou uses the same tactic as Mu but somehow what he does ends up succeeding and what she did doesn't. A lot of people may think that's because none of them asked to be put in that situation and Kotoko was the one who attacked. Yet, my honest response to that would be what the fuck is actually stopping Shidou from helping if he was guilty?
Like prisoners who were Guilty once can still move around and interact with others and the things around them. Unless one is assuming that the punishment for being guilty trial two is worse than one. Something I don't believe would make sense and would not be fair considering this would just simply for many of the prisoners be their first time being guilty. Although, this is Milgram so maybe who knows.
Even in a situation where the trial two punishment for being guilty is harsher than trial ones; what the fuck is stopping him from teaching or instructing someone else within the prison on how to help if he were restrained? He even said Amane could be assisting him and Yuno has been. He's very replaceable, actually. So, it's wild this worked.
As we will get into it is wild any of them are getting away with what they are.
He also doesn't say this as if it will change later. Instead he literally states that Mahiru now just can't live without his help which given injuries should not be true. Yet considering that she hasn't been getting better over the course of trial two honestly yeah, I guess he's right.
That's... true I suppose.
"From now on conflict between the prisoners will probably become more frequent."
Dude why the fuck does he say this??? Like no I'm being serious why does he fucking say this? Especially considering last we heard from Haruka in his second trial voice drama Shidou and Kazui were meant to have been negotiating a ceasefire? This sounds like something an individual about to start a conflict would say. A person about to throw down if you will.
Like what the fuck does he know in regards to this? The most good faith interpretation is the ceasefire negotiations have failed. Yet, it's still a weird thing to just add. Especially since he says conflicts between the prisoners. Implying that people other than Kotoko may end up instigating fights.
Even though most of the other prisoners are simply attempting to mind their business and he's the only one who directly states hostility towards Kotoko in various ways.
Others that state having animosity towards someone are
Yuno,
Q.11 Which of the other prisoners do you get along with least?
Yuno: I wonder. The ones that are painful just to watch are Haruka and Mu-chan.
Futa,
Q.12 Are there any prisoners you don’t get on with?
Futa: Can you not tell by looking at my face? Obviously Kotoko.
Mu,
Q.12 Are there any prisoners you don’t get on with?
Mu: Yuno has been really cold lately so maybe her a bit.
Shidou,
Q.06 Do you forgive Kotoko?
Shidou: No. I can’t forgive someone for trying to achieve thing with violence.
"To extract that fang, now."/“That’s why I became your fangs.”
Oh, and he has some feelings on Mikoto as well.
Q.07 Are there any prisoners you get along with?
Shidou: Kayano-kun has become like that, and I can’t spend my time smoking at the moment, so the smoking trio has disbanded, which is a bit lonely.
What those feelings are beyond me. However, he speaks of his current disposition as though it's a problem. So, I'm putting it.
Kazui,
Q.06 Are there any prisoners you don’t get along with?
Kazui: To be honest, probably also Kashiki-chan. It feels like she sees through all the things I don’t want anyone to notice.
Amane,
Q.06 Are there any prisoners you don’t get along with?
Amane: Kirisaki Shidou.
and Mikoto,
Q.12 What do you think about Kotoko?
Mikoto: I don't like her.
It makes sense that we the audience would know whom everyone is hostile towards. Especially since we just blatantly asked in some written interrogations. However, it's not as though many of them have been presenting their hostility towards each other openly.
Outside of Amane and Kotoko everyone else attempts to be cordial with each other or just outright avoid people they dislike. So, it's still weird he would know this unless he's really good at reading the mood and paying attention to others.
Something he has not shown himself to be. Though, maybe he really is. Still considering he has two individuals he'd could possibly have an issues with this really sounds like some shit somebody who wants start trouble says.
"If I'm not there... They will be in even more danger!"
Bitch you will be there- Guilty or not. You're not getting out of this panopticon any earlier unless you see yourself out buddy. Where do you think you go if you're guilty? The sunken place? You gonna mentally tap out because of the guilt and constant bombardment of being told you're wrong by the audience?
Other people who have been Guilty before you with no warning of what that mental or evironmentally entailed were still able to help and speak to others while suffering under the affects of said verdict. The child did it grow a backbone man! You're an adult and apparently you hold a lot of stake in the fact that you are... So, at least make it make sense why you do with your actions.
In case Shidou has forgotten we have a third trial. So, he's just being a fucking manchild here. Does he think we're gonna kill him immediately after he's voted guilty in this second trial out of three? Does he think as soon as the guilty verdict hits Kotoko is going to attack him? That's the most reasonable and good faith interpretation of this statement.
Like she did attack guilty people that's a fair concern to have. Yet, he's currenty being guarded. Because now that an attack has happened once the others are more on guard.
As Yuno implied would be the case,
Q.09 What do you think about Kotoko’s attacks?
Yuno: Is she an idiot? Nothing’s going to change in the world if you just act out violently where everyone can see.
If a person just acts out violently where everyone can see most people will reasonnable recognize that person is apart of the problem too. They won't usually assume they're the solution to anything. Plus again the fact that other people were guilty before him and he knows what that could reasonably entail he should be preparing for that possibility. It's clear that he wants to avoid it by any means and is doing his best to do that.
Which I can't fault the man for that's only natural. But-The fuck is Shidou's second voice drama fearmongering 101?! Why the fuck is he acting like this towards the end?
I bet you're thinking Gunsli is this your first time listening to Shidou's voice drama and honestly yeah it is.
This man is in here like what will they do without me. Despite the fact that a majority of viewers have pretty much agreed the child can take him out/is a serious threat to his safety. At the point the previous statement is widely considered a genuine concern true if anyone wants him dead outside of himself in this facility he is going to die. Because we know that from the beginning Shidou has wanted this all to end and to get the death penalty.
That he's been smoking to be unhealthy,
20/08/04
Mikoto: By the way, why did you two start smoking? For me it was just a means for communication with people at work.
Kazui: Hm? I don’t really remember……It’s maybe changed nowadays, but in the past it was just natural for everyone to smoke. What about you, Shidou-kun? Do you remember?
Shidou: ……I wonder. I suppose…… I just wanted to do something that was bad for me.
Mikoto: Ahh, I kinda get that. It’s like eating instant ramen in the middle of the night.
So, he came into Milgram already trying to get out of life in general. So, he can't threaten himself like Haruka can. He's still gunning for that death sentence even now.
"The scale tilts to and fro, I yearn to be found “GUILTY”."
The only thing he can do is what he's always done used the lives of those around him to excuse his actions and validate his own existence.
"But it tilts towards, find me “INNOCENT”. If the voices crying out in pain, can be saved by me- Allow it to be my charge and mission."
Like I don't know why he came in here acting like this verdict gonna make him someone he ain't and never was. Like man you couldn't even take care of your own- You want us to leave you in charge and responsible of even more people. People who have no reason to have to listen to or take him seriously. People who don't even like him.
Meanwhile Shidou's kids in Triage out here looking like they need Yusuke Urameshi not Shidou Kirisaki. What will they do without me? Man I don't know probably have a better grasp of road safety. You know just spitballing some guesses here.
He came in here really pretending to be the guy and for who? Himself because he's fucking weak and emotinally immature. He can't handle the mental stress of a guilty verdict, he couldn't even handle his own social relationships when his wife was alive,
Q.19 What was your partner like?
Shidou: A strong person. I tend to be a bit careless in my personal life, so I was always relying on her.
or taking care their kids after she either died or got ill.
Like listening to the end of his second trial interrogation is legit hearing him hype up his own importance. As though he's going to be a meidcal doctor on the frontlines of a war and voting him guilty is equivalent to immediately killing him in front of a bunch of injured civilians. Halting people from getting aid. When that's not what's occuring here at all!
He's still going to be in Milgram and he will still have another trial. Like maybe he thinks that's what's occuring because of Kotoko but that's even weirder. Because there are more people against Kotoko's actions in the prison than for them.
One of which is fucking Kazui who is already guarding him.
Shidou...
"I need to be punished... But I also need to stay alive or young lives will be lost."
Oh, Shidou you're such a martyr.... Pushing to the side your selfish desire to die because you're sick of living with yourself, your own failures, and the fact that the things you worked towards weren't the benefit you thought they would be and instead a massive failure-
Q.15 Do you think you’ve made a contribution to society?
Shidou: I used to think my work was a contribution to society.
All because you've found something that validates your existence again. Something that,
"Tells me, the reason it’s ok to be here."
Again I need to highlight we're not fucking killing him with this verdict. Telling someone what they did was wrong is nowhere close to comparable to murder. Also, Kotoko can attack prisoners whether they're innocent or not. Jackalope's brought up that the prisoners are allowed to attack each other during the intermission all of them regardless of verdict.
Unless they're physically restrained and thuse made unable to they can still do it. Plus some of them are shown in full restraints within Undercover still ready to attack somebody if needed. It's not like she is completely bound to acting in accordance with Milgram's rules as has been highlighted before.
22/08/05 (Kazui’s Birthday)
Kotoko: ……Mukuhara Kazui. Thanks to you, I wasn’t able to properly serve justice to those who did something unforgivable. I’m currently acting as an agent for our prison guard Es. Don’t get in my way next time.
Kazui: Oi oi, don’t be silly, Yuzuriha-chan. There’s no way I could just look away from your outrageous display of violence. Anyway, even disregarding the fact violence against those voted guilty isn’t a part of Milgram’s system, what you’re doing is just acting recklessly based on a broad interpretation. As long as I’m free myself, I’ll stop you.
Kotoko: ……what a pointless argument. Hmph. Since Es forgives you, I have no choice but to forgive you myself too. If you to keep to your words, then you’d best do what you can to keep being forgiven. If you’re not, then next time you’ll be one of my targets.
Kazui: Oh, how scary. That girl truly is frightening. ……well then, I wonder what the guard will decide to do with me. That’s the one thing I really can’t make out. Honestly……
Yet, throughout his second trial voice drama he keeps subtly pushing this idea that not only will Mahiru die if we vote him guilty but he will too. That not even really touching on the fact the one to bring up a death sentence or execution as a result of the trials to begin with was Shidou.
He brought it to this point and is now lamenting about it being there like oh what should I do.
"I... I don't know what to wish for anymore. I'm starting to think that I want to live. That I want to be forgiven... Despite being so riddled with sins...! ..."
Shidou... Do you remember what i told you?
"..."
Back when you were still fine with dying at any moment, I told you to deperately want to live. "Punishments for sins exist in the first place because we have an attachment to life. your existence in itself is a sacriliege to Milgram and myself", I said.
"Yes... I remember."
And now, finally, you've gotten attached to life and finally become a real prisoners of Milgram. That's what I believe. You wanting to be forgiven and your wish... Those are the steps that now represent you.
"...That won't do... I musn't be forgiven. Otherwise... the countless lives I've taken will never be paid back."
Heh. If you're really trying to give up your life as compensation for the people you've killed, then there's no reason to stay alive that will hold up anyway.
"..."
Don't face them with a life that you're so willing to throw away.
Es greatly sums up the main issue with Shidou's logic.
He is ready and willing to die.
Yet, all the people he killed weren't. Usually people seek medical attention for help, because they want to live. Because they're in pain and they don't want it to get worse. Thesse are people who are trying to survive and seeking out what they believe is the most appropriate help for either themselves, a family member, hell even a stranger on the street if someone calls an ambulance.
It's incredibly tragic when help doesn't get there soon enough but it's down right dispicable when the help is there and decides no you'll die today because I feel like it. You understand what it's like to have to take in order to give and I need to take from you to give something to myself. We're all suffering and you know some people like myself deserve to suffer less than others so this is just how it has to be.
Since that's the case-
"You're in my way...hurry up and die."
I see no difference between this and this.
"Please, go ahead and die already."
Excpet one of the people making this sort of statement puts a lot of stock in being a mature adult and never acting childishly. While the other is at least emotionally honest about their mistakes.
Why did I bring all of this up? To highlight a key difference between Shidou's voice drama and his song. Es never rebuts Shidou for saying he's the only one that can help or calls what he's doing a hostage game.
Making it more than likely Shidou is referring to the audience and the voices he heard discussing his case or something from his real life given the quotes around the phrase. This is more than likely something Shidou has said in reality or had said to him. I lean more towards the first interpretation when it comes to viewing these put in quotations lyrics as direct snippets of quotes from statements the prisoners have said but I'm not that committed either way.
The point is it highlights that he's not just referring to Es here,
"I want to be INNOCENT, I want to live. So this is unpleasant, hurling slurs of “hostage game”, you do know that it’s up to me? That’s right, there are lives that need safeguarding. So hey, prolong my life, I’m indispensable. The correct answer, I don’t yet know, but there are lives that need safeguarding. So hey, prolong my life, I’m indispensable."
He's instead speaking past Es and directly pleading to the audience or voters.
Which is the same thing Kotoko does here-
"So, make yourselves my reason. Just choose the only choice, GUILTY. Say that sympathy is useless. Hate evil as the evil that it is. Don’t you dare stop now. I want a reason for judgment execution, I want it. Give me the next target “UNDER”."
Notably not stating that she became our fang before that but leading into that again. These lyrics (along with the prisoner 011 line in Kotoko's case) recontextualizes the entire song as a direct plea to the audience with allusions of concern towards Es. Mostly merging the two and going if you're on good terms with me I'll be on good terms with all you and your proxy if not things could get messy.
This showcases that they all see no difference between the audience, Es, and Milgram like stated before.
The ones who are more direct while referring to the audience are Yuno, Futa, Mu, Kazui, and Amane. Instead referring to multiple parties through their songs or one.
"I’m the one who chose, let you and you and you all in."
Yuno mentions two others before stating she let "you all" referring to the audience in.
"Don’t get cocky, you in that cypher."- "Tolerate, impress those spectators."- "This prison hosts ears and lethal eyes, I’m sick of it. You and you, throwing around rules for fun, hoisting up morality and feeling good. Should I succumb, make your wish come true? Full of yourselves, are you?"
Futa seperates the prison host from the audience the spectators. In a way showing off that he views Es as an entity hosting an event and the ones spectating as the actual entity he needs to impress or sway to his side. He's basically going if the audience likes me I'll be fine.
"So, it’s wrong? Oh shove that! INNOCENT, isn’t that right?"
It's a personal dislike of mine. People who act based on their sexual urges like that, that is.
"It's personal?"
Yeah. That's right.
"That's strange. I did think that, despite being neutral as a warden you did have some things you dislike, but..."
...
"Isn't it unusual to openly reavel a personal dislike as a personal dislike?"
You're splitting hairs.
"Seems like you really disliked my crime... I get it! Maybe it's because you're so young... Which is to say... ..."
Hah? Stop staring at me so openly. It's disgusting.
"..."
... [Es punches him]
Honestly warranted he is making fun of Es for the same reasons Jackalope did in Es' voice drama. Being a bit green behind the ears. Which is never fun. So, of course after that the first thing Es does is do the same thing to Amane in her interrogation after this.
... Now I feel better.
"-Ow! What are you doing all of a sudden..?!"
It was an instinctive reaction. Don't take it personally.
"Would you stop just punching me in the face without any hesitation? ...huh Anyways... That's how it is, huh? That's how it is...?"
Kazui stating "That's how it is..." highlights that he does take note of Es' personal feelings. He not only does that but seems to take a moment to mentally compare them to what he's been hearing from the voices over the course trial one. Really honing in on the fact that Es says them disliking Kazui's crime is a personal thing.
Meaning that Kazui knows full and well that Es' personal opinion does not matter when it comes to the verdict and may have concluded as such. Something made even more clear by his second trial song opening with him telling Es to just go shove it. Fuck off get that nonsense out of here.
Kazui literally forgoes Es' statements on his actions from his second voice drama at the jump of cat like oh well the guard said it was wrong but fuck that- Innocent is the right answer. It's the conclusion you all came to the first time so.
Double down. Hence the-
"Lie, until it gets better, follow the king of the masquerade. Lick that sin and oppose punishment, until you can meet the king of the masquerade."
The only allusion to Es in Cat is,
"So it’s wrong? Oh shove that!"
This is because Es has already said they personally dislike Kazui's crime or people who act based on their sexual desires. Meaning if Kazui's crime is that of a sexual nature trying to sway Es on seeing it any other way is pointless. So, he no longer has an interest in convincing Es his behavior was okay. Plus he's not even really concerned by what the audience themselves have assumed or figured out. Something alluded to through how comfortable he in while singing Cat in comparison to Half.
Amane's is rather straight forward as well. Considering her song starts with direct recognition of the audience/spectators going-
"Good morning, ladies and gentlemen! It’s the beginning of a most wonderful day! However, there are blasphemers and silent by-standers, who would have it otherwise. We must not give into them, they are the ones that should be judged." - "I disavow you, eyes corrupted must be crushed."
These are the only references Amane makes to the audience and Milgram. Literally going those who agree with me you know what to do. Those who don't well we can't give into those people now can we!
Then there's Mu,
"I am innocent as everybody desires."- "We are just the same. Don’t you think it’s wonderful to control them with my gentle sting?"
Mu compares how what the audience is doing is no different from what she has done. So of course it only makes sense she'd be Innocent. Then specifically speaks of Es after. The one who is also controlling people with their gentle sting. (This statment does apply to the audience as well. Since we're impacting the prisoners through the press of a button a gentle sting/poke. )
The lines calls attention to the emotional and psychological abuse Kotoko points out as being just as bad as what she's doing in her voice drama. Something Es also brings up as a factor in Mu's case during you guessed it her second voice drama.
When Mu says she never really hit anyone herself and Es goes yeah you just had other people do it for you.
"I haven't bullied anyone! I'd never do such a mean thing!"
...
"I've never once hit anyone or poured water over anyone's head. I wouldn't do something like that!"
...
"I'm not lying. I'm not being dishonest! I really haven't done anything!"
I see. I'll take note of that.
Just like Kotoko did with Es. Saying just because you never hit anyone doesn't mean you haven't caused harm or incited it to occur. As Es attempts to highlight they never really used excessive physical violence/took it as far as Kotoko did with the prisoners. Despite the fact that they have hit them and impacted some of them just as negatively as Kotoko has.
Even more so from the admission of Mahiru in her second voice drama.
"I mean it. It doesn't hurt. Compared to the way I felt when you chose not to forgive me... Not at all."
...!
"Not at all... Nothing. None of it hurts. It's not...as big of a deal. Ever since, I've constantly been hearing...voices saying I couldn't be forgiven. Yours? Whose? I don't know... I don't know, but... I've heard them this whole time."
Mahiru, calm down...
"Was what I did such a bad thing? I just... had a normal relationship like everyone else...! That's all I did! Why can that not be forgiven? Hey, why? Why? Why?"
Kotoko's second trial voice drama does well to follow up on those similarities It's Not My Fault, Bring It On, and Backdraft highlighted between the prisoners and those who watch Milgram. The same mentality to jump into something that is quite frankly no one other than the parties involved business just to turn around and blame others when things get bad.
Later
"Ah- But if you don't forgive me, then Haruka-kun will die. So, I think it'd be best not to do that."
...! So, you've heard about that nonsense, too?
"Mhm! Haruka-kun told me. So, I could rest easy according to him. That made me happy... It made me really feel our friendship!"
You know about it and you're not trying to stop him? Haruka, that is?
"Why would I? Haruka-kun says that's what he wants. So, there's nothing I can do, right?"
But you're calling him your friend?
"Isn't it exactly because he's, my friend? Isn't friendship about letting your friends do the stuff they want?"
...
"Are you planning to tell me, "That's not what friendship is."? Then, what is it? It's about sticking together because it's beneficial for everyone involved, isn't it?"
I don't think Haruka is benefitting from that at all.
"No way... It's not like you'd know what's good for him."
... You sure are tough to beat.
"I really don't get what it is you're trying to say, Warden-san. Haruka-kun is free to decide what he wants, and I'm not doing anything wrong. It's not like I asked him to do that!"
I see. So, that's how it is, huh. You don't say anything; just because you're present, the wishes of those around you evolve to benefit you- Oh, so that's it. Like, a born queen.
No, it's as if you're influencing your surroundings not with words but with pheromones... Just like a queen bee.
"Pheromones...? I'm not sure what you're going on about but I'm not a fan of that lewd-sounding stuff."
That's not the nuance i was talking about.
"Either way there are prisoners much more deserving of not being forgiven than me. So, I think you should focus your energy on those guys instead. Like, Kotoko-san has been up to no good, for example. Ah, but what she did was approved by you, wasn't it?"
...You're making my blood boil.
"Anyway... I think you would do good to forgive me. Then Haruka-kun will be safe, too. Ah, actually- Couldn't you just forgive everyone? Then Kotoko-san won't run amok, and you won't have to think about all the difficult stuff."
...That is...a very enticing proposal.
"Right? Hah, hehehe."
Abandoning all thinking... How nice it would be if I could just do that.
"...If you ask me, I don't really get why you don't do it..."
Because this is the role I'm playing!
"But this role was giving to you, wasn't it?"
...!
"You didn't end up doing this because you wanted to, right? It's not a dream you've had for a long time or anything, Warden-san? So, there's no need to let it tie you down. Couldn't you just quit?"
What are you...
"Warden-san- We call you warden, because that's what you are, right? And I wa sassigned the role of prisoner, but that doesn't mean I'm now nothing but a prisoner at heart, too. After all, I'm still me."
...!
"Are you okay warden? Are you feelings sick again?"
Haah...haeuahh...
"That's because you keep thinking too much about difficult things."
...Gyh!... Haah...
"Just stop. Being the warden, that is."
Es brings up that Mu is emotionally manipulative. That she hones onto any weakness to exploit in those she dislikes and makes herself look small so those around will feel more inclined to help her. Through her voice drama, like many of the other prisoners, Mu uses the same tactics that got her into Milgram to begin with.
From her first voice drama Mu is well aware that Es has issues when it comes to thinking about themselves outside of their job as prison guard. She recognizes it as a trigger which she willfully exploits in an attempt to get her point across better.
Then despite saying what Kotoko did is no concern of hers and since it was approved by the warder it'd be wrong of her to disagree with it earlier in the same voice drama her tone changes a lot near the end.
"Huh? But that has nothing to do with me."
What?
"The ones who are suffering are the ones who have done bad things right? You know, like, what goes around comes around?"
...
"Besides Kotoko-san hurt and was mean to the people who you chose not to forgive, right?"
...Yeah.
"Wouldn't it be weird for me to have any thoughts on that, then? After all, I didn't do anything wrong. You forgave me!"
Yet, suddenly when the idea that she might be viewed as in the wrong later comes up Kotoko is running amok and is a prisoner more deserving of not being forgiven than her. Because Mu as she has always done puts targets on other people to avoid being singled out herself. Then to add insult to injury she directly contradicts what she says about friendship and it being letting the people around you do what they want.
By continuing to badger Es into quiting being a guard and stop taking the role so seriously. Because Es taking their job seriously does not benefit Mu. It puts her at risk of being singled out and votes guilty later down the line. So, it's better if they just drop it.
If they don't/can't she has no issues, or qualms making the situation more difficult for them by poking at weak spots until Es-
If you want to betray from jealousy I’ve told you what’s gonna happen.
What's the point of highlighting all of this? Why include all the others when this is just meant to be about if Mikoto references the audience over the course of trial two.
Well, to be completely honest this isn't about them.
Even though at times this seems to be about the others. They're only being used as examples of how I analyzed the information provided and discerned through my own perspective when the audience was being referred to, how it was being referred to and why.
It is just easiest to explain that method over the course of all the prisoners and build up to Mikoto.
It just so happens that this may stand out more overtly with Mu than any of the other prisoners. Because of how consistent a character she is. Like she states in her voice drama no matter what labels external forces put on her, inside, in her heart she will always be Mu. She, like all the other prisoners, isn't changing and has no desire to change.
Their only desire is to escape punishment and gain social power and influence by any means necessary at times.
This is important with how they refer to the audience and the entities they choose to suck up to. Many of the prisoners have recognized being nice to Es just does not matter long term because they are just a proxy. They don't have much power or influence over how the prisoners are viewed.
Sure, it's good to get along with them for images sake during the interrogation but ultimately how well off they are with the guard doesn't heavily impact their verdict.
Yet, as long as they aren't outwardly and overtly malicious, they can get away with harassing Es if they want to. Mu's whole thing is making it appear as though she had no malicious intent or at least if she did it was a warranted response to the circumstances. She's just a victim, an underdog biting back. It's not her fault people were mean to her, but she doesn't just have to take it on the chin and wear it.
She has a right to protect herself after all she was-
"Having such a hard time." and "Trying so hard."
She was at a point where she couldn't take it anymore. Her heart was all dried up and her sorry spells weren't working.
Mikoto is the same way throughout his voice drama.
A mix of Mu and Mahiru's behavior. Basically, they're all passive aggressive about it. Dancing around the point instead of tackling it head on.
Not really elaborating on what they've heard but more so implying it through their emotional states and responses.
"If you just laugh and pretend, usually things will work out in the end right?"
X
"I'm pretty good at that! Making things work out to the best of my abilities."
Is that so...
"Eheheh... But...it's not coming to an end. All of this. With things I've never even heard before, the whole ti- The whole time... Haah... I have to see through all of these irritating experiences...!"
You emerged, huh.
"Hey. Looks like you haven't received a beating yet, Warden brat."
...! ...
"Hah? What, are you scared?"
Like you didn't get beaten by Kotoko...!
"Heheh... That was just because she caught me off guard. We went at it again while you were asleep and it's not like i lost there."
Mikoto in his second voice drama similarly to Mahiru and Kazui does not willfully give Es or the audience information. Instead questioning Es on what they believe and what they saw.
"As for alters... Why do you think they're born?"
In precise terms it's called, Dissociative Identity Disorder. Generally speaking it refers to when a person experiences severe pain or stress, and a new personality is created in order to isolate the original personality from the resulting trauma.
"Yeah. I... probably come out to ease the stress I experience."
It's important to note that Mikoto (John) is not speaking in past tense here but present tense. So, he's not stating I emerged in the past in response to the stress Mikoto was experiencing. He's literally saying I'm coming out now to ease the stress he's currently experiencing.
Subtly calling to attention that Milgram, the verdict and the audience voices are causing Mikoto stress and he was brought out to handle and relieve Mikoto from that.
Even elaborating after that-
"The fact that I come out for longer just means that I'm constantly under extreme stress."
Again highlighting the negative impact Milgram has had on Mikoto's mental health and wellbeing. Yet also calling to attention that Mikoto (John) doesn't have a clue about what the source of the stress is. Just that Mikoto must be stressed for him to be here. Saying that just means and going off the fact that he's here at all to discern that.
Them asking this at least confirms again that they both recognize the audience as well as Es at least know Mikoto has Dissociative Identity Disorder. Something Mikoto states he's heard from the voices on his birthday as well.
The fact that he's questioning if there's really another "me" on his birthday means he more than likely heard that from the audience. He doesn't really get the chance to broach it in his voice drama or doesn't broach the topic.
Yet it is made abundantly clear before that occurs that Mikoto is aware due to the voices he's heard from the audience. So there's that as well.
All this makes the moment after this particularly interesting.
Stress... Namely, the environment of Milgram, right?
"Right. You're decision to not forgive me is especially stress inducing. That's why I'm entrusting me with my heart."
I see.
"Not like I can blame myself. From my point of view, I'm being blamed for a crime I can't even remember."
If that's the truth, then... You're the one who committed the murder?
"Yeah, it was me. I killed them off."
...
"So, I, Mikoto really didn't do it."
Can i ask... Why you killed them?
"They annoyed me."
Who did you kill?
"Just whoever was walking around nearby."
...
How many did you kill?
"Can't remember I was just born back then, you know. It's kind of fuzzy."
Just whoever was walking around-
In this empty ass back alley looking underpass in the dead of fucking night. Okay, Lil' Slugger. I believe you.
I too walk around in the dark of night to secluded spaces with no public foot traffic and a loud passing train that would mask not only my screams but those of anyone else around this is true and reasonable. It's something we all have to do we can't control where our homes are located or find other safer alternative night routes at times. Sometimes you just gotta do what you gotta do and people like Mikoto are there.
Sometimes you have to walk up to or past a suspicious ominously posted up stranger that definitely doesn't look in any way to be waiting to initiate a hit. That's not something any person would want to avoid in the middle of the night on their walk by all means. I would have seen you like this and went whelp fuck my house is that way... Aw, damn he's either gonna kill me or I'm gonna get home but I gotta walk that way. Better start praying and speed walking.
I ain't even a religious person but I need something to have me right now.
We already made eye contact. I saw him see me. That was my first mistake. Can't get out of it now. Whelp, I have the perfect song for this. I'm such a fucking disappointment. Oh, this route will be shorter there's not many people on it! We'll get home faster. Now I'm about to die.
I would be so pissed to die because this guy was just what fucking waiting to hurt somebody. What the fuck man pick up a contact sport and put the bat down!
Think I was fucking around when I said okay I belive you well ha ha; no. I wasn't. I don't believe this is the truth in this instance. However, I one hundred percent believe this is some city shit. The fucked up thing is what he just said isn't unreasonable like that shit happens there's senseless violence all the time. That doesn't make it better he really went on the mic and said,
"I killed someone because it really was just one of those days, I'm quirky like that. I didn't even know them. Didn't even know their name. They were just annoying had those hit me with a bat vibes you know."
Like dude fuck you that's not better. That's substantially worse actually. I'm sorry this has nothing to do with the question. It's just... Rewatching Mikoto's second voice drama is a trip. One second it's like if you did do that for the reason you stated then you're kind of just objectively the worst person here and continuing to vote you guilty would be better.
He just admitted he just does this shit to relieve his own stress and it doesn't matter who he hits. It's not personal in any way. Does having a hard time and demanding job excuse that? I don't think it does. These were all people to his own quick and flimsy admission had no connection to him. Never wronged him, hell they're strangers whose only crime was walking near him.
Yet the child who killed their abuser is barely treading water while he's here coasting-
That's fucked up! The fanbase did Amane Momose dirty and it really just seems like it's because she's a child. Because these fucking adults be acting hell of childish and they are not getting as much heat as this twelve year old has. Be better. The fuck type of defense is this. He really came in here and said,
"I felt like it so I did. What's the problem?"
Then a majority of people went alright go off he's such a victim- Of what nepotism, marginally good looking priviliege?! Being shippable and okay to sexualize leading to people liking and projecting on him more than a twelve-year-old?! Because all of those things are actually helping him a lot if you take a step back to think about. Like if you take in the image in full he's doing quite well now in comparison to the shit start he had.
He literally said I killed just because they annoyed me. I didn't even know them and people went I do not dee the problem with that. Go off king people do be annoying. If you don't want to die don't be annoying in public. Being annoying death penalty actively abusining your child for years and killing a cat come on Amane jumping to murder due to that was a bit of leap wasn't it. Like even if your religion said so sweety killing is bad.
Because the truth is if he was Amane's age and gave the excuse that was given here it wouldn't be working. It would be giving repeat offender energy he would need to learn a lesson. He would be hiding behind his disorder.
Even though Mikoto (John) may only be admiting to committing the murders to cover for Mikoto which I'll go into again later... I'm mostly highlighting this to go this should not have made him be more favorably viewed. Like people really just ignored he said that shit.
Yet, then other times in the voice drama it really sounds like listening to your friend lie about the disorder they have blatantly and without restraint to get out of something they simply did not want to do to begin with. To an individual that is woefully underinformed about how the disorder works. Which is me saying it's fucking hilarious. It is absolutely amazing. He should keep doing that actually.
It's not Mikoto or Mikoto (John's) fault that people are ignorant when it comes to dissociative identity disorder and stereotype people that have it. He should take advantage of what aids him. If that's the ignorance of others in this age it takes ten seconds to start researching. No one has to teach anybody in the real wold except teachers and they ain't paid well for it.
We gotta figure it out on our own. He is in jail he doesn't owe society or anyone in that jail shit especially the truth and he isn't giving it.
Mikoto (John) goes me fronting longer has allowed me to stabilize which probably isn't good and means Mikoto the prisoner is disappearing. That is not typically not how Dissociative Identity Disorder works. I don't know why anyone would want to present it as though it does work the way Mikoto (John) is purporting. He's basically saying that alters are born at random and are immediately violent.
This is a a very weird and stereotypical way of discussing and presenting people with DID. That has led to the demonization and stigmatizing of the disorder. It's not like it can't happen people can have violent alters but usually they're responding to a trigger not just being violent towards uninvolved parties or just lashing out at anyone while outside of stressful situations.
Plus, alters can go dormant but that doesn't just happen due to someone else fronting. They can also be integrated. Everyone is different though. So, maybe that's just how this works for Mikoto. Though, alters do disappear for a bit that happens as well. So, why is Mikoto (John) acting like Mikoto's gonna die?
It's difficult for me not to question how this was phrased, especially given what others have pulled over the course of trial two. A good deal of trial two has been prisoners going well if you vote me Guilty someone else will disappear/die- So, you should just like find me innocent. It's that easy find me innocent and everything will be fine.
Like these assholes have genuinely forgotten they are in here because someone has already died. They really be out here like I will certainly take a life but it won't be mine. Do as I say not as I do. Violence is bad and we wouldn't want to hurt anyone let's all just get along.
Where was this Barney ass logic when you were giving people head-on collisions with bats, knives to people's chest, committing malpractice. Like none of these people have said there's no reason to take a life because they've all fucking done it. Just that there's no reason to take away their lives. At least with the people who have brought that sort of thing up.
Isn't that sort of fucked up? That all of trial two a good deal of prisoners threatened the audience with the idea of someone dying as a result of the audiences' actions. Completely ignoring, downplaying, or evading the fact that someone has already died because of their actions.
Instead, it's about reducing harm in the present suddenly. Yet they weren't thinking about reducing harm when they did what they did. Maybe reducing harm to themselves. Then when their victims come up they get real quiet suddenly. Unless it's Shidou or Mahiru who immediately turn it around and make it about how the victims deaths are impacting them.
How it's making them feel bad.
Even ignoring all of the emotionally questionable things presented here and over the course of trial two. Pushing that to the side and just taking the voice drama by itself.
It's riddled with contradictions. For example, this statement
"Evidently, the time I've been fronting has been getting longer. So, this "me" has been able to stabilize. Isn't that the reason we can talk properly?"
Let's again ignore the fact that you were working and taking the fucking train before Milgram. Something that is not only expressly shown in your music video but corroborated by Mikoto's own testimony that directly conflicts with seeing you on a fucking train,
Q.12 How do you travel to work?
Mikoto: Road cycling. It’s one of my hobbies, and it’s good exercise too. The fact I don’t have to worry about making the last train can be both a blessing and a curse.
Meanwhile in clown town where the alibis are shit and keeping a story straight is dead.
Q.17 Do you smoke?
Mikoto: Only electric. I used to smoke real cigarettes in the past, but since I started my job I’ve stopped.
Like they even change the tote bags they carry so one has the color we fucking have had associated with Mikoto (John) and the other doesn't so the person taking the fucking train is more than like Mikoto (John).
Not even adding to the fact Mikoto confirms that he's the one who works at night in his fucking first written interrogation through this answer-
Q.06 What do you hate?
Mikoto: working overnight / reptiles / violence
All things that appear or are alluded to in MeMe. Either from the tarot cards or expressly shown like with the images of him returning home.
Ah, man it'd be a fucking shame if on top of all that there was canonical merch that showed Mikoto vaping after the murder or holding an e-cigarette.
Certainly no one has that and the staff wouldn't provide us with something so damning because they like to keep things up to interpretation and it's not meant to be solvable. It's about how we all view it, view it in our hearts through our feelings.
Meanwhile the third anniversary art coming in with a steel chair.
(Something I brought up way before, along with the idea that the art from the third anniversary is in fact the prisoners after their crimes. Even getting this merch to check more closely. )
Oh, Holmes I'm absolutely stumped at what this could mean. Surely this is still just Mikoto (John) too. It could be no one else. Mikoto is an honest innocent man who couldn't hurt a fly.
All he did was dream. Except when that witty bastard plum forgot he still smoked cigarettes occasionally just a few times. Quitting is difficult, yes, even when moving over to the same thing in a different form. It doesn't mean he's a liar.
For another example, here
This is not Mikoto (John) in MeMe smoking in the tub but still Mikoto. He's an honest but confused man. Who wouldn't know or rightfully remember no longer smoking cigarettes.
Okay time to stop joking around-
It is more reasonable to recognize that they both appear throughout MeMe and Double and this is subtly displayed through their stated habits, clothing, and facial expressions. Then just ignoring the pile of evidence that shows Mikoto (John) clearly had a life outside of here too.
Along with that again to Mikoto's own admission trial one he was the one more active at night until recently. Stating with extraordinarily little prompting-
Q.20 Are you more of a morning person or a night person?
Mikoto: I used to be basically nocturnal. Recently though I’ve been falling asleep pretty early.
Ignoring all of that again he's still just fucking lying.
Just because alters don't front doesn't mean they don't have a stable internal existence. What the fuck are you on about right now? Like at most I can generously say he meant it was becoming easier for him to front but this was bullshit.
This was not a good way of phrasing that. Again alters that don't front have personalities and could even have rich lives internally. So, Mikoto (John) is on some nonsense. Like he's just testing what he can fucking get away with because he knows Es is stupid and ill informed.
Every day I question how he is getting away with it when the honest answer is,
People frankly don't care to see it and that's fine.
There's even the fucking fact that Mikoto (John) directly fucking contradicts himself right after stating this.
"Evidently, the time I've been fronting has been getting longer. So, this "me" has been able to stabilize. Isn't that the reason we can talk properly?"
...
"If I had stayed a monster maybe that would've been better. ...What?"
You've turned out to be much more rational than I expected... I'm surprised.
"I'm a university graduate after all."
Alright, Mikoto (John) which the fuck is it?
Have you only recently been fronting enough to stabilize leading to you being able to communicate properly or did you front for all of fucking college?
You were at least aware enough of it to consider yourself a college graduate. So, what's the truth? Huh which fucking is it?
"Can't remember I was just born back then, you know. It's kind of fuzzy."
I am once again asking how you fucking remember college Mikoto (John)?! Yet, were just born back then?
Okay, let's talk about the elephant in the room-
The threekoto or trikoto theory.
Because some people may want to say if you take into consideration the existence of a third unknown alter than all these inconsistencies can be explained, Gunsli. This is what all those inconsistencies are hinting towards, it's the perfect explanation you're just choosing not to see it.
Yes, I am choosing not to see it that way.
Yet that's not only because it doesn't bring me any narrative joy and subtracts from it. It's also because I view that concept as a cheap fix-it solution where a new factor has been shoved into the narrative in order to account for things within it that could be logistically explained by other means. There's also no actual evidence to this being the case.
One could rightfully say what about the inconsistencies you just pointed out though.
Those could simply be explained by a fact that Milgram has brought up since the beginning of the series-
The prisoners can lie.
If the prisoners who are under more restrictions than Mikoto (John) still have the freedom to lie why are people assuming Mikoto (John) isn't lying as well? Especially when being faced with an unknown, dangerous situation, in which he's been threatened with the death sentence? Like wouldn't the reasonable response to such an odd situation be to keep your information yours alone. Not willfully give it to an entity exerting power over you?
So, the inconsistencies found here very well could be there to hint at what exactly happened once all the information is examined together.
Though, let's be serious for a bit.
Let me walk down that bridge with anyone who wants to go there? What's the actual probability that all the information that they gave us-
Including naming the songs,
MeMe and Double.
Along with willfully adding this fucking very overt line,
"Doesn’t matter if you didn’t wish for it, can’t get rid of me now. Just the two of us, relieved, aren’t you? I’ll protect you (us)."
Are all actually statements meant to mislead the audience and both Mikoto and Mikoto (John) are being honest about not remembering the murder and this third more recently born alter is the actual murderer. Because given that statement on the crimes and Mikoto (John)'s admission that yes, he is a college graduate, the lyrics in Double pointing out we made him out to be a scoundrel-
In my opinion that would be the most reasonable conclusion to draw if I were to believe this is true with the information we've been given so far.
Even if that were the case and all of these other things were red herrings.
These would all be objectively the worst red herrings in existence. Because that isn't a red herring it's a fucking school of them. Grab a fishing rod and get to it. This is past the point of being considered a red herring and instead would be more aptly described as a series of overt lies.
You know a good red herring is when people can actually figure out it is that and there's evidence in canon alluding to that being the case and what is commonly accepted as truth being disingenuous. I'm not the biggest Steven Universe fan nor do I hate it passionately. I'm more neutral to it.
So, let's use it as an example.
-Spoilers for Steven Universe-
In Steven Universe it turns out Pink Diamond and Rose Quartz are the same fucking person. There is art that alludes to this before this reveal. There were speculations and theories of this being the case. What Steven Universe did not do repeatedly at any point was go she's not a diamond we swear this is a normal Rose Quartz.
They didn't draw attention to the elephant in the room over and over. Most of the characters in the series believed fully that she was a quartz and had been lied to for years. It's never called attention to because it is a wildly accepted truth. So, nobody questioned it.
Yet, there were still hints this was the case enough for people to speculate such far before it was revealed to be the case. My point is red herrings are seen not heard, not repeated over and over. A red herring by definition is one misleading clue or accepted truth meant to trick the viewer into believing something that is untrue or move them away from the truth.
It's not a consistent pattern.
-End Spoilers for Steven Universe-
Then to add more insult to fucking injury why the fuck would Deco*27 say this-
This isn't a red herring this isn't even within the canon.
This is a statement he made independent of the canon. Outside of that he didn't even have to give a specific number but did anyway. He could have just said what will happen to the Mikoto's now. If they wanted this shit to remain ambiguous. Yet, he still used two unless this translation from the Milgram app is simply wrong and it added that.
It'd be weird but machine translations have been weirder.
Yet, considering everything I've seen it truly makes more sense for me to believe Mikoto and Mikoto (John) are both being dishonest for self-preservation reasons than to believe that the entire series has been lying from jump.
I just find it more likely that these two who found themselves in such a strange situation, who are vehemently trying to convince the audience and the other prisoners around them that they are honest trustworthy men are just fucking lying about a lot of provably false shit. Then as it tends to happen when someone is telling lies off the seat of their fucking pants there are many easily spotted contradictions and direct confirmation of actual truths.
Because the truth tends to be consistent lies aren't unless a person is very skilled at it. (Glances at Kazui.) Throwing all that to the side.
If the idea of there being three alters brings someone joy, then that's all well and good. I'm not trying to stomp that out or rain on anyways parade. I just don't personally want the information I discuss to be associated with that or have any interest in discussing that interpretation.
There are a lot of people who'd have a great time doing that. I am not one of them.
Because I feel using that idea to excuse the fact that the alibi, excuses, other statements Mikoto has given, and the reality of the situation through the songs extracted directly contradict each other in a way that highlights he may not be being honest is not only incredibly convenient for him but somewhat disingenuous.
This includes his voice dramas and the birthday interaction before Double premiered. Unsurprisingly.
I'm not looking for an easy fix for those inconsistencies that keep Mikoto looking infallible and like he couldn't hurt a fly. I'm not looking for something that frames Mikoto as being in the right, a good person, and a victim of circumstance while highlighting an alter as being completely bad and in the wrong always. Because that sort of story is lacking in nuances in my opinion and wouldn't be fun to me.
If that were the case it would make it feel as though the story itself was highlighting Mikoto's character having dissociative identity disorder as the reason for him being a murderer or the only thing that led to these issues occurring. Something that just doesn't feel right to me personally.
It's never like what has Mikoto done/chosen to do or how could he have responded differently or managed stress better. Nope it's always an alters fault, it's always the disorders' fault. There's no respect for Mikoto's own agency because he's a guy with a disorder, he didn't mean it, he couldn't help it, that's just how it is.
The impressive thing is how often Milgram as a series pushes back against this interpretation and simplification of dissociative disorders in general.
Then the fandom pretty much plays into this trying to tell others there's a definitive way to know if someone has it, how many alters they have, and at what time an alter is out just by vibes and speaking patterns alone.
As if dissociative identity disorder doesn't involve a shit ton of masking and trying to appear fine to avoid being singled out by others.
Milgram highlights this issue with the perception of dissociative disorder through Amane's voice drama.
Where Es literally implies that since Amane's case doesn't present the same exact way as Mikoto's and she cannot do the same things as him that solidifies to them that Amane herself cannot have a dissociative disorder. So, in Es' eyes what Amane is doing is just playing pretend by referring to herself as we and god. So, really all she is or appears to be to Es at the end of the day is a kid throwing a tanturm and playing make believe.
Well... It's in vain. So, you might as well listen to me while we're here.
"I won't forgive you. I won't forgive you."
Prisoners can't attack the warden. This is one of Milgram's core rules, although a certain guy with multiple personalities managed to slip past it.
"I won't forgive you... I won't forgive you..."
Which means Milgram doesn't dictate who the prisoners are by their body but by their mind. If the mind isn't accounted for then the rule doesn't apply. It bothers me that there's a loophole, but...
"I'll kill you...! I'll kill you!"
Thanks to this defective rule we can confirm this; The 'you' holding the scissors right now isn't a god or a concept. It's Amane Momose herself.
"...I'll..."
So, what you're doing right now really is just a game of pretending. This is stupid.
Then Amane later in her voice drama calls out Es for referring to themselves as we. Saying that Es must just be playing pretend to avoid taking accountability for their actions as well.
Es makes the very severe and common mistake of assuming all dissociative disorders present the same way and immediately has their own logic used again them. Leading them to have another crisis of identity. They're shown to have a serious lack of understanding of themselves and their opinion.
Something that from the beginning of Milgram has been shown to cause them discomfort in multiple voice dramas. Mu's first and second one, Kotoko's first and second one, and Amane's second one. This same logic could very well lead to the audience making a lot of the same mistakes as Es is presented making.
Well, that was longer than I anticipated. But, there's a lot of things about Mikoto that imply he not only heard the audience voices but took the reaction he received into account when deciding on how he proceeded.
Other than that, I've got a birthday to have. Sorry for the long answer and going much more in depth than I needed to. I also hope none of this was rude.
Though i can't really control how I'm interpreted.
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I saw those praise headcanons and it reminded me of an idea I’ve been sitting on for awhile.
A male reader who brings up the idea of spanking to Lawrence Gordon, Peter Strahm, Patrick Bateman, and Bo Sinclair.
The readers kinda shy and nervous about it too. I’ve just been sitting on this brain rot for awhile and I wanted to share it.
-📼
LOVE YOU CASSETTE ANON YES OF COURSE. i love when yall share the brainrot with me because when i see these requests i literally jump with joy, share all ur thoughts with me i love this idea sm😭😭😭 these characters are perfect too because we have a nice mix between stern and classy to rough hungry and im literally screaming running around thinking about this THANK YOUUU. also im labeling this group as slashers even though all dont fall under the category, its just easier this way
my progress got deleted halfway thru bo's section so im so sorry if its sloppy i was just fedddd up w tumblr
requests are open, masterlist is up!!
Slashers x M!reader + Introducing Spanking | Headcanons
Warnings: nsfw undercut, dirty talk, man handling, praise & degradation, caring!lawrence & bo (but also some mean!dom! energy.. just how its gotta be), dom!slashers, sub!reader, punishments, we all expected mean!patrick lets be real here
Lawrence Gordon
lawrence loves to hear any ideas you have, he thinks its healthy to share new ideas and experiences with eachother. yet he also gets a slight suspicion that youre holding out on him the next time youre in the bedroom, he knows you well and can memorize your body language, so when he sees you avoiding eye contact and talking in a hushed or awkward manner, he wants to know whats going through your mind
he'll lay down and have your head on his chest while he plays/pats your hair, trying to ease you into saying it, snd is pleasantly surprised with your answer
"Tell me whats wrong darling, speak to me."
"I was thinking.. maybe we could, try something new? We don't have to do this if you don't want to, its fine, but, could we try spanking?"
his eyes meet yours and he sees how reluctant you were to telling him. as his hands find your chin, angling it up to meet his eyes, he smiles and says sure, whatever will give you a better experience is something hes willing to try
he thinks its funny how nervous you were, since hes open about a lot of things. hes a stern and classy dom, utilizing punishments and keeping himself composed a lot, he likes to see how youre such a mess when hes commanding over you, how his slight touch and gaze make you whimper
loves to see your vulnerability, he wants to see you exposed and at his will, he wants you to be vocal for him and show him how much you love it, it fuels his ego and reassures that he isnt doing anything wrong (because in the end hes still lawrence, and he cares about you more than his own life)
will mock you as he does it, it is a punishment after all. loves to see how obedient or defiant you are during and after, he likes to make you seem pathetic for your reactions
"What? Can't take it? Oh but handsome we just started.."
will have you count how many times he does it, he wants to hear your voice sputter and moan, it will get him hard and he will use it against you ( using it as an excuse to fuck you hard, saying that "he couldnt resist your lewd and obscene moans" )
loves to force you to look at him as he does it, he wants to see that pretty face of yours, whether you cry, whine, or try to hide your face
does that thing where every time you squirm or move on him, he chuckles darkly saying "Oh Baby, you're making it so hard for me to not hold you down right now.. and just show you some fucking manners.."
he is seconds away from making you cockwarm him as he laughs at your attempts to get off. he will overstimulate you by slowly stroking your dick and then going "ah-ah-ah.. you have to stay still, its still a punishment"
he loves to stroke or pat your hair as he spanks you, he loves to feel you flinch as he inflicts pain. after he does it, he'll rub your tender spots and say how well you took them, and how pretty you sounded as you did (or, if you were bratty, how depraved and pathetic of a sight you were)
he'll take such good care of you, giving you proper aftercare and everything, but for now, hes got you ass up, displayed nice and neat for him
Patrick Bateman
hes more than excited you are, as he is more into impact play/things along that line. he just loves to see how your body contorts to his advances and how his fingers just gently gliding across your ass make you whine, both from how tender it is and because his touch is so gentle you need it
he also thinks its hilarious that you were nervous about asking, because hes a pretty dominant/open man, hes into some kinky shit, and hes not afraid to talk about it.
he will mock you about being nervous, then taunt you with that fact, making the experience all the more exciting/intense, just as he'd prefer. he will rub your face softly and say how delicate and precious you look, and say that this for the better, then begin spanking you
"Darling-Darling.. don't cry now. I'm not even close to being finished."
his voice is always smooth and calm, which coupled with his confident exterior, is terrible for you. he will stroke you and play with your ass while he spanks you. putting a cockring around your dick if he knows youre getting too close to cumming when he spanks and teases you, he needs you to be ready for him after, when he has you gripping at the bedsheets while he fucks and degrades you
is honestly a slight menace when it comes to things like this, he'll talk you through the spanking snd make sure that youre whiny and rubbing up against him for more, he gets off by seeing the physical effects of his work, making him hard asl
"Good Boy.. thats right, take what I give you.."
likes for you to make eye contact, and will grip your chin just to face him so he can see your face give out a pathetic moan (may even take a photo.. just for safe keeping)
and he will be mean about that, asking if his personal slut couldnt take what he asked. in a mocking tone he'll say if he should go lighter next time, or if you like it hard since you moaned his name the entire time
will have you suck his dick after, because he thinks you enjoyed it too much, and if he did all that for you, he should get something in return. but dont worry, he'll guide you and say how your mouth was meant for his cock and his cock only, and how well you take him, especially after how sore you are
he notices you staying off/putting less pressure on your ass as you suck him off, and it makes him proud. the whole kink makes him proud, because hes happy to see his hand prints on you, knowing that his gorgeous boyfriend took it, and thanked him after for it, thats his art
i wouldnt be shocked if he had some handcuffs or toys.. he experiments and he pulls hoes so. but because of this, he may incorporate some bondage in and handcuff your wrists/ankles to the bedposts, having your stomach on the bed, and then deliver the spanking there.. he likes to see the cuffs rattle and your body shake
would obviously have you count as he spanks you, not because hes tryna be classy like lawrence, but because he knows you cant, and likes to hear your voice die out the moment he starts, and he will go on and on, having you count to the 10's, 20's, and if he thinks youve deserved it, 30's
"C'mon sweetheart.. don't stop counting. What number am I on?"
aftercare is exquisite, taking absth and applying some nice little lotion, just so he can abuse you the same the day after
Bo Sinclair
hes also a bit of a rough yet concerned man. he wants to try this out, because it lets out his sadistic side a bit more, but if he could get lost in the pleasure he gets from it, or, if he hears genuine pain from you, he gets anxious. he'd never want to actually hurt you, but if you give him the go ahead, he indulges in it. something about seeing you like prey under him makes him go nuts
is like an animal when he loses control, he will make you cry, he eants to see you beg for him to keep going (or for him to stop), he wants to see how much he can break you before your all fucked out beneath him
he lowkey likes having control and dominance over another guy, it really boosts his ego, definitely some uncovered trauma but either way, seeing you whimper from what he gives you gives him a massive hard on
will ask you teasing snd taunting questions just to get you to cry out and squirm. sayin something like "Are you likin' it doll? Or should I just stop and leave ya all needin' for me.."
please moan his name, because he will not only spank you harder, and rub where the tender spots are, but after he will lay down, have you sit on his dick and shove himself inside of you as hard as he can. hes gonna show you a reward you get for sayin his name all pretty like that
he loves to put you into doggy style and spank you as he fucks you, its his favorite thing for easy access
he also loves to objectify you, using nicknames like "pet, toy, doll, etc."
"Ah ah.. look at me, keep your eyes on me sweets. It's not that hard." he says this as he literally pounds the shit out of your ass, gripping your chin so that you cant look away
speaking of this, he loves to force you to look at him. he cannot get enough of it. he wants to see your every move, every way you contort, and every sound you make, because he needs your reactions
he wants you to touch snd to grab him while he spanks you. him imagining you gripping his thighs or having you sucking him off will result in a spank of encouragement, his little treat. he loves it, he wants to feel you on him
also loves overstimulation while spanking you.. find his hands wandering and stroking your dick, or massaging your ass while he spanks you to increase your pleasure
out of the bedroom he continues this behavior. if youre in his shop helping him, he'll tap your ass before squeezing it, loving how shocked you get at his roughness in public
"Theres my little pet.. takin' this spanking all too well.. almost like you want me to make your ass more tender than it is!"
loves to ask you rhetorical questions to tease and taunt you. he wants to see you get all worked up over his nothing, his voice lingering in your ears to belittle you. he'd ask "oh sweets.. was that too hard? would you want me to be nicer? cause that pathetic moan you let out tells me a different story.."
is all for having you be loud and proud with your cries, god knows he gets loud, whether its dirt talk, grunting, or even a deeper growl, he does it, so he wants to hesr all those pretty sounds you have for him
he really loves to have you beg for him, something about having you so needy that you cannot restrain yourself makes him lose it. he wants you to cry, whine, beg, or stutter his name and beg for whatever he'll give you. because after that, hes fucking you so hard jnto the bedsheets, having you grip onto them with no signs of stopping. and trust that every plead is another spank, with him going "oh.. my dirt little toy loves it when I use their body snd treat them like the pathetic slut they are?"
is all for rubbing your tender spots and seeing your body jump from the feel of his calloused fingers running over you. he sometimes intentionally slaps the same soot because he needs to hear that lewd moan come from your mouth that makes him so hard
Peter Strahm
now he is a very stressed pent up man, he doesnt have a lot of outlets, so when his boyfriend introduces the idea, he looks into it for a bit before acting on it, hes not a really kinky guy
however, once he figures everything out, hes all for it. he finds a way to express his frustration sexually, seeing you under him as he fucks into you, moaning for his touch, it is therapeutic for him
he loves how his rings add a bit of a sting when they spank you, he loves how the specific marks on them show up and how you whimper, and honestly he loves to hold you down when he does it
the control he finally feels is a much different type of control than what he has at work. this control is stress free, he doesnt feel like he has a weight on his shoulders from conditions or cases he isnt meeting. he feels totally, and indescribably in power, and it turns him on so much more
hes never really experimented with kinks before, so expect him to find a new type of bliss with this. hes going to be as into this as you are, stroking your cheek with his pointer finger as he pleases both you and him
is more into praise than degradation, loves to say how pretty and sweet his boyfriend is. "My good little boy is taking it so well.. you cant get enough of me."
really loves to have you facing towards a mirror while he does it, he wants to see your face and he wants you to see how you look. having his dick slide in and out of you, your moaning face unnable to form any sentences, seeing his hand come up, only to roughly come down on your ass while he says how perfect you look
wants the verbal affirmation of how good it feels, he gets off on how he knows that hes doing good, that you cant help but tell him how good it feels
"There he is.. thats my boy. Thats right, take it, youre doing so well."
wants to have his hands all over you when he fucks and spanks you. on your thighs, on your shoulders, on your hips, or even spreading your ass to get the perfect view for his work
this section is so short im so sorry but it literally got deleted after i SAVED it so i gave up a little😭
thinks the way that you squirm when he holds your hips down/chokes you is hot, he loves to feel you moving and struggling for more against him
#lawrence gordon#lawrence gordon x reader#saw#sawposting#peter strahm#peter strahm x reader#bo sinclair#bo sinclair x reader#house of wax#american psycho#patrick bateman#patrick bateman x reader#slashers x reader#reader x slasher#slasher x reader
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Stranger || Vernon
Vernon x f!reader
Genre:fluff, nonidol!vernon, smau
Summary: you come home from a vacation to a random stranger in your bed, or maybe he isn't so much of a stranger after all...
Warnings: swearing (mostly f!reader lol sos), a lil but of angst & mental health mentions, hella serious anger issues(f! reader), mentions of sexual activity, very much kissing, mentions of food/pics of food:) TALK ABOUT CAR CRASH‼️
A/N: HEY sorry I’ve been gone all week I’m back at school and it’s exam time especially next week so I might be even more inactive (only since I wanna do good on these exams for the bigger ones) but I’ll try myself best. But I’ve always been away this week bc I’ve had no motivation at all and it’s been pretty tuff for me in general. But I hope I can do better in the future. So please forgive me for the long wait for part 4🙏🏼😰 anyways hope you enjoy❤️
Vernon makes his way to your bedroom, he wants to ask about your knee and what happened, but he feels like it may be a sensitive topic to you. So, he just asks if you needed anything else be he heads out. “No I’m okay, thank you though, it means a lot.” You reply. He nods and you get suspicious that he wants to ask you something else.
He slightly glances to your knee and now you know he’s wanting to ask what happened. “I was in an accident.” You say. Vernons head jerks up and he mutters out a single, “Oh.” It was unexpected, he didn’t know, “I’m sorry, you don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want.” He’s genuine, that’s what you like the most about him. He’s honest and kind and somehow doesn’t make small things into bigger things.
“No it’s okay, I can talk about it. I ended up tearing my ACL severely. I almost lost my ability to walk, I try my best to be as careful and even though I’ve been cleared for weeks now, I dont it just stresses me out. I hit my knee and I immediately think of the worst thing possible.” You let out a small chuckle at the end.
“It happened in the states, I was staying with my mom for a little. For about three weeks, then me and my brother got into an accident after I picked him up from the gym. My mom didn’t want me to come back to Korea until I was cleared. That’s why I was gone for so long and the only people know is Mingyu and Minghao and well, now you.”
“Oh,” it’s the only thing Vernon seems to let out, he’s shocked and doesn’t know what to say. “Are you okay?” He asks, you simply nod and say, “Yes, no one was killed. My brother did experience a little bit of brain damage but he’s okay now. And so am I so please don’t worry about me. I had enough of that when it came to Mingyu and Hao.” You laugh.
“Well aslong as you’re okay, then so am I. I’m glad no deaths happened. I’m glad you’re okay, and your brother I don’t know.” You nudge he shoulder softly.
“Mingyu was right about you being a big softy on the inside.” You joke, Vernon’s raises and eyebrow, “Mingyu said that? What else did he say about me?”
“Nothing bad, just a few things he thought I’d need to know before I do something stupid like kicking you out.” You shrug your shoulders. Vernon nods, “Well, I need to get going to I’ll see you later.”
“Okay, I’ll make something when you get back.” You smile at him, he returns the smile and you both bid goodbyes and he leaves.
Once Vernon leaves, you find yourself letting out a big sigh you did notice you were keeping in. At least he now knows what happened to you. You did feel like a weight had been lifted off your shoulders when you told him what happened. Even thought you and your brother are okay, it’s still a sensitive topic. You couldn’t drive for almost 4 months because you was scared. Therapy helped you over coke that though.
“Right,” you say to yourself, “Time for the gym.”
AN: I actually like this one😭🙏🏼
Tags: @dkswife @writingbarnes
(Lmk if you wanna be tagged👊🏻)
#seventeen#chwe hansol#svt#vernon#svtsource#hansol vernon chwe#vernon svt#vernon fic#vernon x reader#vernon fluff#vernon angst#vernon x you#vernon smau#seventeen smau#seventeen fluff#seventeen x y/n#seventeen fanfic#seventeen x reader#kim mingyu#xu minghao
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“I thought you were going home for the break.”
Blake looked up from her book to see Ruby standing over her. “I… decided to stay here for winter break. I’m still a bit nervous about trying to go see them.”
Ruby sat down with her. “Yeah, but, dont you think you’ll have to talk to them at some point?”
“I do but… only once I’m ready.” Blake closed her book and sighed. “And right now, I'm not ready.”
“Anything I can do to help?”
Blake shook her head and got up, stashing her book back into her bag. “I’ll figure it out on my own. Though I thought you’d be with Yang and your dad.”
“Dad and I arent exactly in… talking terms right now,” Ruby said a bit nervously. “He’s still not exactly thrilled about me being at Beacon, especially with what we did at the docks.”
“I figured he’d be proud of you guys.”
“He was, but, well, you know how parents are, right?”
Blake sighed and looked away for a moment as she thought about it. “I… I should get back to the dorm.”
“I’ll come with-”
“I want to be alone.”
“But you’re my teammate, I shouldnt leave you alone.”
Blake paused for a moment as she looked at Ruby, struggling to find any excuse to be alone. It wasnt like she could just tell Ruby not to come back to the dorm, nor could she just stay with team JNPR when the rooms are already pretty cramped, but it wasnt like she had anywhere else she could go or stay for the couple weeks that break was. Finally she let out a sigh and motioned for Ruby to follow. “We can have a quiet day then, right?”
“Of course! No adventures, just us, homework, and a good book.”
“You know I do more than just read, right?”
“Well, yeah, but its a cold day and its not like we’re going to be going outside or going to have classes. And while Weiss and Yang are away, we dont have enough people for a board game without asking Jaune and his team, but then that’ll give us too many.”
“You’ve put a lot of thought into this, didnt you?”
“I dont think anyone should have to spend break alone.”
Blake smiled a bit at hearing that, watching as Ruby got up to follow her. “Then, maybe we can do something else. Besides read or play games.”
Ruby looked at her. “And what do you have in mind?”
“We could talk about the people we like.”
“Talk… about the people we like?” Ruby asked with a blush.
“You know, talk about boys or girls we have a crush on. Maybe even do some of that girly stuff that Weiss likes like doing our nails.”
“I didnt think you’d be into that kind of stuff.”
“I’m not normally,” Blake admitted as she opened a door for Ruby. “But the way Weiss talks about doing her nails like its some sort of intricate ritual, I think it’ll be fun to try. Besides, I’ve realized that we really dont know much about each other beyond liking to read.”
“We know plenty about each other.”
“Like what?”
“W-well, you uh… you… like to be alone.”
Blake giggled a bit as she watched Ruby fumble around a bit while trying to find anything else she knew, blushing a little. While it wasnt exactly uncommon to see Ruby like this, it was different to see her be so uncertain of herself and a bit more shy while she tried to think. Just another thing that made her fall for her leader the same way she had started to fall for Yang. “You arent completely wrong.”
Ruby sighed. “Alright, maybe you arent entirely wrong that we dont know each other that well.”
“We have been spending a lot of time with your partners. Weiss drags you around where she wants to go, and Yang and I have been trying to get a bit closer so we can figure out how to work together like you and Weiss.”
“I wouldnt take Weiss and I as a… good example to follow. We still argue a lot and the only reason we seem to be working well together is because Weiss has decided to try to follow my lead and take a step back from trying to be the leader.”
“And yet, you both seem to be able to work with each other almost as if you’ve known each other for years.” Blake sighed and opened the dorm door for Ruby, letting her in first. “I envy that. Yang and I still have to call everything out and even then, its hit or miss if what we do works.”
Ruby sat down on Weiss’s bed and took her shoes off. “And you dont see the training she puts me through. Sometimes I wish she’d lay off trying to get everything perfect. Though, I have to admit, having a silent signal for what we want to do has made things a bit easier.”
Blake closed the door and went to her own bed, taking her book out of her bag to set down on her pillow. “Still, it all seems to be working for you.”
“You and Yang arent exactly slouching either when it comes to working together. I’m a bit jealous with how often the two of you go off together.”
“Jealous, huh?”
“W-well, not exactly too jealous, just… well… you know, the two of you are always going out to eat together and she knows you a lot better than Weiss and I do, so… you know…”
Blake smiled a bit as she watched Ruby try to hide her own blush as she fumbled with her words. It was refreshing to see her just as nervous as she was, even if it may have been for different reasons. “Yang told you I wasnt going home, didnt she?”
“...yeah, she did.”
“Well, I guess now’s a better time than any to get to know each other better.” Blake smiled a bit and pulled out a bottle of Weiss’s nail polish and sat down on the floor. “We can start simple by playing twenty questions. You start.”
Ruby nodded and sat down in front of Blake. “Alright, what’s your favorite color?”
Blake uncapped the bottle and made sure to get the excess nail polish off the brush before carefully painting Ruby’s nails blue. “Violet. And yours?”
“Blue.”
“I figured it’d be red.”
“I like red, especially strawberry red, but its not exactly my favorite color.”
“With how much red you wear, everyone thinks differently.”
“The cloak my mom made for me when I was younger was red, and I never could find a blue that matched it,” Ruby answered, keeping her fingers still. “And once I started sewing my own clothes, it was easier to get ahold of black and red fabric than it was any other colors.”
Blake paused for a moment. “You sew your own clothes?”
“I thought it was my turn to ask a question.”
“R-right, it is.”
Ruby took a moment to think. “So, what made you want to be a huntress after you left the White Fang?”
“I… wanted to do something to fix the damage I’ve caused.” Blake dipped the brush in the nail polish again before starting another finger. “Before I realized how far Adam was willing to go, I… I thought following the White Fang was the right thing to do, that those that left were just cowards willing to give up on changing everything. But after a few years, I started to realize that we did a lot more damage than good. It didnt take long for me to start looking for excuses to avoid missions or to start looking for other ways to get the job done while hurting as few people as possible. After I left, I told myself I was going to fix things the right way.”
“Sounds like you’re on the right path now.”
Blake nodded and slowly started to move onto a third finger, making sure to be careful not to stain Ruby’s fingers. “I hope I am. Though, there are some days that I think what I’m doing isnt enough.”
Ruby moved her hand away for a moment to let the nail polish dry. “Your turn.”
“So, who taught you how to sew?”
“I learned on my own.”
Blake smiled a bit and moved Ruby’s hand back towards her to finish off the rest of her fingers. “Seems a bit tough to learn on your own.”
“It was.” Ruby held herself still again, letting out a soft sigh as she kept a smile on her face. “Yang taught me how to cook and build weapons, but when it came down to sewing, that wasnt something she was good at. And dad… well, he threw himself into work often, coming home late and usually a bit too tired to do much else beyond making dinner. So I’d look up how-to videos and learned to sew. It didnt take long for me to start sewing my own clothes and making my own style.”
Blake paused for a moment as she listened, Ruby’s story sounding a bit different from how Yang would describe life when she was younger. Not that Yang really said much, but she always made it sound like she was the one who taught Ruby everything and that their dad was there more often than not. Still, she couldnt look away from the smile that Ruby kept, even if the smile wasnt as genuine as it could be. “Still sounds like a great skill you have.”
“I wouldnt have made my own combat gear if I hadnt learned. Any hobbies you have besides reading?”
“I… never really got myself into much.” Blake finished Ruby’s left hand and started to paint the nails on her right. “My mom taught me how to cook and my dad made sure I could live on my own if I ever needed to. But after I ran away, I… didnt exactly have a lot of time to pick up anything else. Most of everything else I learned to do was on the fly by other members of the White Fang. Lockpicking, basic hacking, pickpocketing… mostly things that were needed to get the job done.”
Ruby smiled a bit. “Maybe you can teach me a few things.”
Blake went quiet for a moment as she finished painting Ruby’s right hand, giving a small smile as she pulled away. “So, what do you think?”
“I… think I dont quite understand why Weiss likes this,” Ruby answered.
“Once your nails are dry, we can remove the polish if you dont like it.”
“Let’s keep it on. Besides, we still need to do yours, right?”
Blake nodded and passed the bottle to Ruby, holding out her left hand for her to paint. A blush crossed her cheeks again as she felt Ruby gently hold it still as she painted her nails. “So… anyone you like?”
“Well, I like you and Weiss. Then there’s Penny and Jaune, Nora and Ren are pretty fun to hang around as well-”
“I meant as a crush.”
“Oh.” Ruby paused for a moment. “I… havent actually thought that far yet. Part of me thinks I might be a bit broken because I havent had a lot of interest in people like that.”
“I doubt you’re broken.”
“I tried dating a guy at Signal and I… couldnt do it.”
“Maybe you need to find the right person.” Blake blew on her nails as Ruby pulled away to dip the brush in the nail polish again. “Or get to know the right person.”
Ruby shrugged and pulled Blake’s hand back to finish her nails. “I think I’ve met someone that I might be able to make things work with.”
“Is that so?”
“Isnt it my turn to ask a question?”
Blake nodded. “I guess I am getting ahead of myself.”
“What about you? Anyone that you like?”
“I-” Blake paused for a moment as she tried to figure out how to answer the question, her blush started to grow a bit. “There… might be someone on our team that I like. And I hope I can get to know her a bit more.”
Ruby smiled a bit and finished painting Blake’s nails. “Maybe you’ll have a chance to.”
Blake nodded and pulled her hand away, smiling as she looked at her now black nails. Then, she looked up at Ruby, relaxing a bit as she let out her breath. “Would… you go on a date with me? Nothing fancy, just… a trip around town and maybe you can teach me a thing or two about sewing.”
Ruby paused for a moment, hand shaking as she put the nail polish away. “I… I think I’d be up to that. We can go tomorrow if you dont have anything else to do.”
“I’d like that.”
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UNREQUITED PT 3 matt sturniolo
genre: a bit of angst but then fluff
cw: mentions of alcohol, kissing
a/n: last part! (maybe…?) hope you guys like it! lyy
Matt’s pov:
I shouldn’t have ignored y/n and me. I thought it would just be a 2 week thing that we would get over but things haven’t been going as I expected them to.
I’ve been reckless and I have to own up to things I know, it’s been 3 months since this all started and 3 weeks since I’ve last talked to her. I know how she gets, how the thoughts cloud her head but I’ve been ignoring everything and making her feel like a fool, and we promised to never lie to eachother, and god, I’ve tried so hard to keep it but things get difficult when you’re in love with your best friend.
I’m reluctant to even text her, and I know I’m in the wrong, trust me, but everything is just so messed up right now, and tomorrow we have our first halloween party of the weekend, and probably the only one I’ll show up to. If she’s there I guess I’ll have no other choice but to talk to her
your pov:
Yes Matt’s actions, or rather the things he hasn’t done, hurt me. But that doesn’t mean I have to wallow in my hatred for the situation, I’ve been doing everything that doesn’t involve him, and halloween was just around the corner. I had just picked up my halloween costume, I was going as a cowgirl, it was cute and simple. My friends were all going with their boyfriends as something together so I’d figure maybe at the party I’d find my cowboy…i still like Matt, I love him, but I can’t wait around for someone who isn’t willing to even glance at me.
As I walked from the costume shop, I saw nick, my sunglasses and cap disguised my face but he still recognized me, I feel bad even trying to not talk to him.
“y/n? how are you? you haven’t been by the house at all this month” he said turning around with his eyes wide, the sunglasses hid my eyebags, thank god, but by my voice you could tell I hadn’t been well, and he was wrong, I hadn’t been by the house in three months, not one.
“good. how about you guys? im sorry i havent been by just busy with my photography and youtube” i said briefly with a smile. He studies my face, I knew he knew I was lying, but nick has never been the one to push someone’s emotions, and I’m glad.
“well we miss you, Matt the most, are you coming to the party tonight?” He smiled. My jaw clenched with the mention of Matt “Matt the most” what was that supposed to mean? What am I supposed to do with that? I spiraled and forgot to answer his question.
“are you there y/n…?” He said furrowing his brows.
“yeah yeah, I dont know if im going or not…I just don’t feel like it I don’t know” I looked down, now that I knew a certain someone was going to be there, i just didn’t know if I was ready for that or not.
“Well I have to go, but think it over alright? We miss you a lot, y/n” he said with a slight pout, I felt bad for the people I’d also left behind as a consequence of ignoring their brother.
The night of the halloween party my 4 friends had to convince me to show up at the party, it was late and I has nothing better to do so I put some music to hype me up and started getting ready. About an hour or so later I was ready to maybe confront the fear I had been carrying since some time ago, talking things out.
Matt’s POV:
We were already at the party, got there at 8, just to take some pictures and help before everyone came. There were going to be a lot of people at the party, which eased the thought of running into y/n, although a part of me wanted to talk to here, maybe a party wasn’t the best scenario for a emotional re encounter. An hour later, the lights were dim and multicolored, people with red cups were dispersed everywhere, a bunch making out on the couch, other’s dancing, some playing beer pong, all in creative costumes with their camera or phone out, typical influencer event, I stupidly waited by the door, waiting upon an arrival that I didn’t even know if it was to come, my brows lifted at every girl that look even a little bit like y/n, a giddy excitement gnawing at me every second that past, knowing maybe the next one would be her.
your POV:
Me and my friends stepped out of an uber, I nervously linked arms with one of my closest friends as we all approached the door, looking around to see if he was anywhere in the terrace, unlikely, given that there were only people smoking, but I still looked either way. Then I saw him. I saw him right by the door frame, talking to a friend. My heart skipped a beat as we made eye contact, the first time in 3 months. It felt like meeting him for the first time, a daze of familiar joy took over me, that lingering feeling of resent still making itself present. I didn’t really know what to do, my friends were dragging me inside wondering what was keeping me up.
“wait, just a minute, I’ll be there,” I said, barely looking at them. They went into the crowd and I was left alone face to face with the object of my despair for months. Matt was the first one to break the silence.
“hey…” he slightly stuttered, he seemed nervous, like he was waiting for this, his voice smooth but seemingly unsure. He pressed his lips together, I suppose he didn’t know if it was the right situation to smile in.
“hi…”
“(…)”
silence filled the air, I had been postponing out interaction so long that it didn’t feel real right now, like this was just a figment of my imagination, another bad dream I had to get through, I pinched myself just in case. I realized he had a cowboy costume. How ironic
“cowboy huh?” I tried to be comedic to get the conversation rolling, forcing laughter, the corners of my mouth quirked up unconsciously as he let out a laugh, one I would still be able to recognize anywhere.
“yeah, and you? cowgirl, thats…something!” He smiled. For a moment I captured a glimpse of us, just for a second, gone before I realized it, i realized how easily I let my guard down in his presence. Silence struck again.
“Y/n- can we…talk…?…please” he stated pleadingly. I sighed. I knew this was coming, I shouldn’t be surprised, sooner or later, this was expected to happen.
“yeah…can we go somewhere more…private?” I said looking around, people and camera’s surrounding us wasn’t exactly the ideal place to spew our guts out in.
We went up the stairs to the master bedroom, thankfully, no one was there. I stood with my arms crossed, knowing I was not going to be the first one to apologize.
Then it started.
“y/n. I know I haven’t been the best lately, Im sorry about that. Things have been way off, like, the worst it’s been, not just a petty argument, not just a dispute. I fucked up, I know that all too well ok? I can recognize that, but I can say that it wasn’t on purpose, I promise i never tried to make you feel that way, I can’t say I fully understand what you’re going through but I want to be there, I want to be in your life, more than anything, I want to make you laugh, be comfortable, I hate to think that I hurt you, and I hate even more that it’s true.” He said, rushing, probably cause of the nerves. I winced at the feeling of myself ready to apologize, just like that, part of me thought it wasn’t fair, part of me knew he was wrong. But part of me also saw that he didn’t know, that communication was key and I royally messed that up.
“matt…I cant say it’s fine. I’ve had one of the worst months of my life, but I’m sorry. I didn’t know how much it would affect me knowing that you liked someone else-“ he interrupted me. “-wait, what? like someone else? What do you mean?” His forehead wrinkled.
I raised a brow “what do you mean? Don’t you…like Madi?”I said the last part in a particularly lower voice, realizing mid sentence how stupid that statement was.
He broke out laughing. Then and there. He laughed, for a good minute or too.
“Im- im sorry that was inappropriate but- why would you think out of all people, that i like Madi? She’s 2 years younger than me and I just see her as my best friend, really, what made you think that?” He said still chuckling in between words, he stepped closer to me, I could see the eyeliner on his waterline.
“I-i don’t know, I guess I just got- jealous….?” I internally cringed at the word “jealous” acting as if he was mine at all, I looked away, cursing myself.
“I got in my head, like I always do, im sorry that was stupid of me” I said underneath my breath, It was a miracle he could even hear me.
He put his finger under my chin to turn my head so I could look at him, my heartbeat in my throat.
“Don’t apologize. I should’ve come clean about my feelings and that would’ve been the end of it, but I cowered out like always” he said, placing a hair behind my ear gently. Maybe it was just my imagination but I swear he glanced at my lips about 3 times, the following only confirmed it. He leans in, and, every so carefully, cups the side of my cheek, his fingers are cold. I can’t feel mine anymore, I can’t feel anything, my mind was fuzzy and my thoughts blur together.
“please don’t kill me for this”
he whispers before closing the gap between us, his lips are soft, moving gently and cautiously on mine, slowly, becoming more sure of it as I wrap my hands behind his neck, running my fingers through his tangled hair, under his cowboy hat. I lightly run my fingers along his neck, earning a smile from him that I cam feel against my lips. As we pull apart, only for air, I take a moment to process what just happened, a stupid grin still plastered on my face.
“Did we just….kiss?” I asked with a low voice, his hand wrapped loosely around my waist, the other holding my hand softly.
“I guess…?” He laughed “and I would do it again you know…”
My heart fluttered at every word and every slight thumb rub against the exposed skin of my waist, enjoying the company of finally non- unrequited feelings.
“…yeah?” I whispered, smiling so much it hurt my jaw.
“yeah” he whispered before going in again for another kiss.
We walked out there with our hands tied together, the stupid grin on both our faces, we quickly separated, knowing all the cameras that would be in the place, not wanting to screw this up just yet.
taglist!: @iha8you @gabbylovesreading @slaysturniolo @stvrni0lo @ssturniolo @sturniolol @sturniolol @sturniololoverr @ifilwtmfc
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WELCOME ALL DANNY FANGIRLS TO YOUR INSTALMENT OF DANIEL RICCIARDO’S DTS BREAKDOWN! 🍯🦡
I’m leaving this one open since you all skipped straight to this episode! (I waited and I don’t know how)😂
S6E9 (Three’s a Crowd)
GIF by @arturleclerc
DANNNNNNNNYYY BOYYY 😍😍😍😍😍😍
He’s already laughing (god I love him)
‘Alright, what’s up?, Daniel Ricardo, this is season six drive to survive, and yes I’m back’ (fangirling HARD)
WAIT HE WAS IN SYDNEY, HE WAS IN FUCKING SYDNEY (why did no one tell me I would have called sick at work)
Daniel and Blake I really wish you went ahead with that podcast because you two are poetic chaos together
Cue another Daniel montage (they have his whole discography on file don’t they?)
He looks so fucking tried though
Logan and Alex talking about DTS frothing at the mouth about Daniel returning is the most factually, correct thing I’ve ever heard 😂
Logan: ‘All I know is the most excited people when Danny Ricciardo came back was Netflix.’
Alex: ‘I literally think they had to change their pants three times. I know the episode already. Let…let me run it through. Ready? Here we have Danny Ricciardo watching on the sidelines. “Yeah, it hurts to not be racing.” Then all of a sudden, pans to Nyck de Vries. Lock up. [imitates brakes screeching]. Off the track. Crash. Oh shit! Boom. Fast-forward. Silverstone. Test. Daniel Ricciardo. Super quick. [laughs] Danny looking at it like…big smile on his face. “It is what it is. You know?” [man]“I never left” “I never left. I’m back,baby. Honey Badger. Don’t give a shit.” (Hire him now DTS because he nailed that)
Fuck why they got to follow that shit with Zandvoort though
Daniel whoring about in his Enchante tattoo thigh high shorts
“Feels right. Feels good” (It sure does Danny is sure does)
EVERYONE LOVES DANIEL
And they get him straight to a photoshoot to whore him out
THEY DID NOT USE HIM WINKING IN THE INTRO (da fuck you lot doing? Give the people what they want)
Yes Christian 2025 prospect (he’s a shoe in ahh? See what I did there) 😉👟🍾
FUCK YOU MICAHEL ITALIANO (why is he getting air time) I’m glad he’s left F1
OHH NO OHH NO OHH NO NO NO NO NO NO
IM CRYING AGAIN. I CRIED WHEN IT HAPPENED AND IM CRYING AGAIN
Ohh they have his X-ray
Clairey bear
Cue Liam Lawson (I do love you but I missed Danny terribly)
The others telling Liam to be prepared (this is very welcome to our toxic work environment)
‘She doesn’t even go here’ (a Danica story)
Liam out qualifies all the red bull drivers (yes kiddo)
DANNY BACKS (SCREWS AND ALL) for engineering purposes only
Umm why are you hurting him? DONT TOUCH HIM! (Look yes I know it’s physiotherapy and he needs it. But I’ve broken my hand before the left one as well and driving a normal road car caused me to cry in pain so when I say don’t touch him I mean it)
I SWEAR TO GOD ZAK YOU STAY THEY HELL AWAY FROM HIM
Checo clips Yuki and he’s out (he probably thought it was Daniel trying to take his seat. It’s his in 2025 mate there’s no fighting it)
Ohh look Alpine with reliability issues (things you continue to see)
Yes DTS let’s show Russel’s crash from another angle 😂
POINTS FOR LIAM 🎉🥳
Are we positive he was in Sydney and not Perth?
Yes king SWEAT SWEAT SWEAT
Yuki GP time
Not Suzuka having Daniel, Yuki and Liam on all the banners
Poor Yuki being overwhelmed by the fans. I understand fans being excited but he’s cornered in the car and clearly doesn’t feel safe (and for Michael to be like it’s ok the fans are happy is actually the problem at hand. His and all the drivers safety has to come first and he point blank didn’t feel safe you arsehole Michael so it’s not okay)
Yuki honey it’s okay Liam not going to hit you
If we can’t have an Aussie a Kiwi will do
Liam finding out Daniel’s and Yuki are getting announced for 2024 🥺
Liam mate I’m sorry you deserve better
Mexi-coooooo
HES BACK BACK
Yes yes your P10 in the constructors (just you wait, just you fucking wait)
Checo out before turn 1 (its AUSGP all over again)
Ohh look another McLaren/Alpha Tauri incident 😤
No McLaren the plan is not to attack Daniel (haven’t you fucking done enough?)
P7 BABBYYYYYY
ENCHANTE, MON AMI
See your P8 now (told you to wait and see)
Yes Christian, Daniel did drive a good race (remember that and who didn’t)
Look at him and his little moustache
Will: ‘ I think this is only part one of a far wider story.’ (Yes 2024 season will be epic for Danny Ric)
#why wasn’t the Maxiel stroopwafel cameo included?#should have been called DTS KING RETURNS PART 2#or kill marry fuck (an alpha tauri story)#scriptwriting by Alex Albon#was Danny really in Sydney because I will cry#formula 1#f1#daniel ricciardo#blake friend#formula one#dr3#danny ric#my mclaren burn book#red bull racing#liam lawson#yuki tsunoda#fuck mclaren#fuck Michael Italian#and fuck Zak brown#with special guest Logan and Alex#the alpha male could have been a sick episode name just saying#the alpha male#alpha tauri
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