So long, Marianne II

Summary: Reader is a spy working undercover in Gotham when she meets Jason Todd, who despite her better judgement she forms a very close friendship with. This story follows their escape from Arkham asylum, their fall out and the times they run into each other as they get older.

Relationship: AK!Jason x Meta!Fem!Reader

Warnings: Graphic descriptions of violence (I'm serious, tho- in canon it's also pretty violent), angst, hurt/no comfort (for now), this series is just my excuse to write angst lol.> copied from first part but this one's more tame i think. + Fluff if you squint.

Word Count: 3k (a bit more but who cares)

Read on AO3

Part 1- Masterlist

See the end for author's notes :)

You spent hours by his side when he was unconscious, door locked from the inside just in case and extra security measures just for him. All this despite knowing you should be safe, technically-- but you still didn't trust the very people who handled your life. At one point you feel bold enough to hold his hand but it doesn't last long since you wouldn't want him to be uncomfortable if he woke up then. It was already hard enough as it was, him being mad at you and all. You stared at him, you couldn't help it since he finally looked peaceful. Your mind wandered, you couldn't believe this was the same boy who kissed you on a random rooftop overlooking the city. "Looks beautiful from up here, you can't even tell all the crime going on down there" you had said that night. He had been waiting for an opening for more nights than he'd be willing to admit. He started to bring you to rooftops and high places more often with that intention, showing you the view and to kiss you; he'd been meaning to do that for longer than that too. Your feet dangled in the air, you were both sitting on the ledge of the building and he watched you smile.

God, he thought, if I keep staring she's gonna think I'm weird. Unable to stop himself from overthinking this any longer he just went for it, the gloved hand on your cheek and his lips on yours moved so fast you didn't even have time to realize what was happening. You thought it was cute how awkward he was about it, so when he pulled after just a few seconds you giggled. Before he separated from you, you put a hand on top of the one that rested on your face and told him "Wait, do it again". Soon the kissing grew into something less than giggles and giddiness and more into needing the other like the air to breathe, and when his hands threatened to trail lower on your back you heard a cough behind you. You remembered how mortified you felt when you saw Batman himself standing behind you. Those days were way past behind you now, he wasn't the same boy as then, he had been through too much since your rooftop kissing days.

It also upset you greatly to think about how betrayed he must feel right now. First his mentor replaces him and now he finds out you've been lying to him, both things he knows thanks to the man who had been torturing him. You were mad at him too at the time, even going as far as taking it out on the new guy a couple times-- and on an eventful night on Nightwing too. You were mean to the new boy wonder, even if he tried being friendly you'd cut him off, huffing and leaving on a good day--and cussing and yelling at him on a bad one. And that night was a bad one, one of the worst, you were supposed to plant a tracker on some Russian mobster's smuggling ship. Which was going well until a few masked vigilantes decided to show up, he blew it up. He ruined your mission and the worst part was you couldn't even blame him for it because you would have done the same if you could. You didn't even take cover, you didn't have time but he pushed you to the floor and covered you with his cape to protect you from the rubble. Quickly getting up he offered you a hand when you were on the floor from the explosion and still a bit in shock but you just grunted and got up on your own. You heard him sigh behind you as you started to focus on healing the bruises and cuts scattered over your body. "You know, you could at least be polite to me, I'm not asking you to be friends", he told you finally fed up with your attitude towards him. "Fuck you" you replied shortly and heard him scoff before saying "I just saved you". He recriminated, as if you owed him anything for that. He could've just let you die and you would have been more grateful. You glared at him and announced loudly that you were leaving, he grabbed your wrist and only got to say the word hey before you interrupted him. "I could make your heart stop right now," you threatened "I should make you drop dead on your feet". "Do it, see how it ends for you, hunted down by Batman", he taunted and you replied "Let him, I should've killed him long ago".

And then Nightwing swooped in to stop the argument from turning physical, he asked-ordered-- Robin to let you go and he listened. You were almost out of earshot when you heard "Just forget it man, the suit doesn't come with the girlfriend", everything stopped. Literally, your emotions got the best of you and you stopped time. Everything froze, you don't how far but blinded by rage you walked back, took one the sticks from his back and tased Nightwing with his own weapon. Time moved again, and the older one fell to the floor. Robin just looked at you in shock, when? how did you do that? His eyes went to his brother, groaning in pain and then back to you, throwing the escrima stick back to its owner, coldly calculated to be just right out of his reach. "the suit doesn't come with the girlfriend" you mocked in a childish tone, completely contradictory to your violent actions at the moment when you pushed your boot to his neck. You thought it was a shame since you actually liked him, you thought he was more reasonable than Batman. Robin tried to stop you, to no avail since you hit him right in the neck with your elbow without looking back. It felt almost like you had eyes on your back. He coughed, getting the air inside his lungs again. And in their confusion you pulled out a gun, aimed at Robin so he had no choice but to stay back.

"Marianne, stop" You looked back at him, standing tall and menacing, the man himself calling you by your supposed real name, the name he wasn't supposed to know. You weren't scared of him, in fact you looked at him and pushed in harder, cutting his airflow like you were taught. You could feel his hands weakly trying to pull you away, somehow whatever humanity was left in you was stuffed away in the furthest corner of your mind. He shoot a batarang that landed on your leg, it hurt yet you didn't flinch as the blood pours down, you double down by pulling the safety trigger off without breaking eye contact. "You wouldn't kill them" He spoke, his voice almost like a growl mean to scare you. You scoffed and told him he didn't know shit about you, he really didn't but what you didn't expect was him stating things you had only told Jason. "You're religious and you pray for your missing sister. Do you think your God would allow this?", the shock made you loosen your grip and the man under your foot managed to free himself and gasped for air. "Honestly, God and you both can go fuck yourselves" you bit back, before taking the weapon out of your skin, finally allowing to heal your wound. You shot it back at him, right in his shoulder, the weak point. "Leave," he ordered "I'll handle her". It was quite impressive how spot on your aim was on your non dominant hand but also unexpected, you were breaking your cover. He let you land a few hits, you knew he was letting you win a bit. But soon the cussing turned into silent sobs, "I hate you" you cried, a fist weakly hitting his armor-covered chest. "How could you?" You sniffed and he patted your back in an effort to comfort you.

Eventually you fell asleep, sitting on a chair with your head resting on the bed in front of you. The first thought he has when he wakes up is how stupid it all was; that he felt so angry at you yet he couldn't help but find your sleeping face adorable. He will wake you up so you can give him some answers but right now he can indulge himself, tucking your hair behind your ear so he can see you better. Feeling your hair now soft and clean and how free of wounds you looked, he marveled at how you seemed healthy again. This wasn't the first time he watched you sleep, there was that time he was injured and he hadn't seen you all night. He thought maybe you stayed home--you did, you only left at night when you had a mission and that night you hadn't. When he got to your building and saw you in your room he waited, you were praying. He didn't know you were religious at all, he never asked either. So he sat in quiet on the emergency stairs, in pain until you finished. Out of respect for your faith, and you, he wouldn't interrupt that.

He finally knocked on your window after he saw you sitting at your desk, papers scattered all over it. You turned to were the noise came from and when you saw him, you quickly gathered everything on your desk to hide before even letting him in. "Hey, what were you doing?" He asked, holding his side where it hurt, probably a broken rib he thought. "Studying, I have a test tomorrow" you lied, helping him in and guiding him to sit on your bed. "Think I broke a rib" he grunted, lifting his hand so you could help him get his armor off. His eyes went from the bruise on his side to you as you healed him, sight fixed on your focused expression as the pain left. "Feel any better?" you gave him a smile and he just wanted to kiss you senseless right then. "Yeah, thanks" he wanted to spend more time with you, he was trying to find any excuse to stay before you handed back his clothes. "So, uhm, are your parents here?", you shook your head no saying they were out on some business trip. "How long were you at my window?", fuck he got caught, he replied "a while" in a weak and embarrassed tone.

He noticed the jewelry you wore, that you probably left at home to avoid being recognized. The earrings, the watch, and the dainty chain you had. He took the last one in his between his fingers, playing with the pendant and asking you about it. "I'm not really- my mom believed in this more than me" you explained, "but I do it to feel closer to her". He appreciated the vulnerability you were showing then, you had told him that your parents died in a car accident--lie-- and you were adopted. You never really talked about your biological parents until now. He let go of your pendant to hold your hand, you were sitting next to each other in your bed, awfully close to the point his leg was pushed to yours next to it. "I don't wanna talk about it," you started "are going to kiss me like the other night?". You were looking up at him through your lashes, giving him a look he just couldn't say no to. He knew you said that to distract him, but he would be damned if it wasn't working. Your hands worked on taking his utility belt off, and he let you take his weapons from him, he allowed himself to be vulnerable around you to let his guard down. How could he not when you were asking him so nicely to stay for a little longer? Later that night Jason ended up falling asleep with you in his arms after you did, because moving would've meant waking you up and he'd never do that, he stayed for hours like a cat owner watching their pet sleep on their lap. But still woke up to Bruce waiting for him in the alley that your window faced, ready to tell him all about how irresponsible he had been. You were wearing the same jewelry right now, as you sleep but your relationship wasn't the same as it was then. He wondered how much of what you told him that night was true.

He decides he's had enough of going down memory lane and puts a hand on your shoulder, gently but firmly shaking you so you will wake up. It doesn't take much effort since you were already on edge and too nervous when you passed out next to him. Your head quickly jerks up in an almost painful motion that wouldn't surprise him if you got whiplash.

"You're awake" you whisper, rubbing the sleep out of your eyes.

"Hm, thanks" He replies through gritted teeth and you know this is the nicest thing you'd get from him in this situation. "Where are we?"

"A safe house in Chicago, you've been out for a while" You explain, and your eyes follow him sitting up on the bed and yanking the iv off his arm. He's getting ready to leave, you thought. "Are you okay? Do you want me to get rid of that scar for you?"

"Leave it, I don't want you anywhere close to me" He swats off the hand you had close to his face. He turns his back to you, putting on the shoes you left for him. It made you feel pathetic, you've done so much for him knowing he may never forgive you. And yet you were ready to screw yourself even more to help him.

"I'm sorry, I swear I was going to tell you"

"When? You lied to me about everything," He turns to see you over his shoulder when he says that, just to look you in the eye and gauge at your reaction. He had a right to be angry, but you still couldn't help the tears that started to form in your eyes "How can I trust you? I don't even know your name"

Jason was just being mean, he knew you saved him and helped him escape. He was expressing himself with anger since it was easier to acknowledge than what he really felt, scared and sad. Anger he could manage, he could make himself out to be violent and scary. But his own fear, his own sadness and recognizing how lonely he felt finding out the person he trusted the most lied to him, that he could not manage.

"Jason-" Your tone was weak, you didn't want to speak if you knew your voice was going to break mid sentence. But you couldn't let him think those horrible things about you "most of what I told you is true"

"Like what? Bet your parents didn't even die in a car accident, and you don't even have a sister" Jason yells. He nailed it, you didn't know how they died, you just knew they were dead and for your sister... you did have one, but for her safety you shouldn't have been stupid enough to tell him.

"They are dead," You suddenly feel small, like that little girl being violently trained all over again.

"Where's the exit?" He coldly asks, standing up and ready to leave through that door. You knew if he left it'd be the last time you see him, so you had to stop him. Moving faster than him, you put your back on the door and face him.

"I'll tell you everything, just please wait" You beg, holding his gaze and trying to decipher his thoughts to no success, his expression was stone-cold. All you could get from him is knowing how furious he was.

"How much of it was a lie?" He questions again. "Did you even mean it when you said you loved me?"

"Of course I love you!" Now you were starting to get pissed off too. Was he so blind he couldn't tell that? He didn't get it from ruining your mission just to save his life? Was his head that thick that stopping the bleeding from his wound until you were over-using your powers meant nothing?

"Then leave with me" The offer takes you by surprise, and your expression softens. Your brows relax until you're not furrowing them any more, and your lips part in a gasp. What? He was so cold and now he wants you to run away with him "Help me kill him"

"I can't" You turn your face to the side to avoid his eyes, to avoid looking at him if it meant seeing him mad at you again. You were not a spy out of your free will, they had something on you. And with your power you were too much valuable of an asset to be lost. Though you couldn't tell him that, that was the one thing you were willing to keep from him. The only thing you held as dear as him in your heart, sometimes even more so than him.

"Give me a reason" He demands, hovering over you and putting an arm on the door to cage you in.

"I can't tell you" You whisper, unable to look him in the eye.

"Of course," Jason scoffs and takes a step back, he couldn't believe he was foolish enough for one second to believe that you'd say yes "you'll never change"

"You're being mean," You sniff and wipe off the tears from your face as fast as you can. Then you put your hand in one of your pockets, looking for something. You push the credit card to his chest, pushing him in the process. He lets it fall to the ground, not reacting "take it, you have about 48 hours before they notice"

You unlock the door before stepping away from it, pushing him out of your way to reach for the duffle bag on the floor. You throw it at him, now you were angry too. Your patience grew thin, you were as understanding as you could and this is how he pays you, not extending the same courtesy, being selfish. You understood he had been rotting in that Arkham wing for a year but you were there too, he didn't have the monopoly on suffering. All Jason could think about was how he felt, what was done to him, not considering for a second what was done for him. Read, you risking your own neck for him. And now you were tired of it, he wanted to leave you? Then he could be your guest.

"This is for you too, no trackers I made sure of it" He stands quiet as you open the door "Door is right this way"

You lead him to the exit of the apartment, disabling all security measures on your way. He doesn't get the sudden change of attitude, of course he liked it better when you were low energy, just apologizing to him. He knows he must've pushed a button to have irritated you this much. Whatever the reason was for you to stay on this life must clearly be important to you, at least that is what he thinks pissed you off. A reason bigger than your love for him. The love that he kept questioning, yeah he deserved to be kicked out like that. He watched you hesitate to open the front door, and he understood too that when he walked out there was no turning back. "And Jason?" He turns to see you and you whisper your name. The real name your parents gave you for the first time in years. And he remembers it, your voice repeats it over and over again in his head. Cute name, he thought. It belonged to you, not your bosses, not your agency, it was yours and about one of the very few things you owned. And he knew, you finally told him even when you shouldn't have. Even when you were specifically instructed not to do that. But it doesn't matter even if it was the last time you saw him, you wanted him to know. He had to know. Only a few minutes after he leaves you allow yourself to break down, letting the tears fall as much as they please. Because you knew you had to be over it by tomorrow, that you have to leave it behind you forever.

A/N: hi, idk when will I post part 3 but just know it's in the works 🫡🫡.

all I wanted was to save them... (ID in alt)

have this fun headcanon that dean never says I love you back out loud because he just like. thinks he does all the time and literally just forgets because he's an idiot.

like when they get cas back he just clutches him close and buries his face in Cas' shoulder and he's like you fucking idiot. you have me. you always had me. whatever you want cas. and he cries and like that's that. and every time cas says it to him in their life after — which btw. that takes a while for cas too because he's just so used to loving dean from a distance that he can't believe he's allowed to have it in the palm of his hand..he can't believe that he's allowed to be open and loud and fearless and absolutely without shame with it. so he has to get used to that, but he does get there. anyway. whenever he does say I love you to dean, the first few times dean's like stuck in between panic and awe and every time after that he's just SO FLUSTERED because he's HOPELESS and he has a CRUSH on this guy even tho they're literally living together and do nasty things to each other on a regular basis but like god forbid they hold hands right. anyway. it's not emotional constipation so much emotional confusion because he really doesn't know what to do with all this easy affection and love because he's never felt it quite like this before where it's a firework in his belly and fizzy champagne bubbles in his blood and this delicious heat under his skin that makes him feel young and giddy and stupid and he loves it so much but it also just turns him into a mess and so he doesn't respond with words and often just resorts to something foolish like a whispered alright or shuddup or he just kisses cas and thinks me too but maybe he doesn't say it. he really doesn't say it. but he doesn't know that he doesn't say it because he's hopelessly in love and the moments all blur when cas is there and so near and with him.

anyway. months down the line..maybe it's even been more than a year. who knows. it's just something really mundane. in the unwritten fic, it's just one of those nights that start out warm and cosy and turn frigid by the time it's midnight and dean and cas have kicked off the covers and they're both sleeping (because cas sleeps now yes he's an angel but he sleeps and eats and does things that make him feel untethered and human and alive because i said so don't talk to me) and dean wakes up because there's a draft on his legs and it makes him shiver and he squints at Cas who is impervious to the cold but he is curled away from dean because they'd moved away from each other in the middle of the night and dean's NOT having that HE'S COLD so he groans and crawls towards cas and drapes himself over his body and his skin's cool too because it's been exposed to the breeze this whole time so dean's whining and slapping cas awake and he's like come on, man and cas groans and scoffs and goes UGH DEAN but the body underneath him warms really quick and Dean snuggles close and cas magics the covers so they tuck themselves around them both and dean's like. sleepy happy sighing into Cas' chest and he says thanks, sweetheart. I love you. and cas wakes up like he's been electrocuted and dean startles because cas did and they look at each other and cas is like what did you say? and dean's SO CONFUSED because again HE'S AN IDIOT he literally DID NOT REALISE that he HAS BEEN SO HAPPY. AND PREOCCUPIED WITH THE BEING IT BUT HE HAS NOT BEEN SAYING IT and so he's like what the fuck what. and cas is like. dean..and dean's like ??? I love you??? why are you acting weird??? this is normal every day conversation??? are you okay?? and cas is like .....oh my god and dean's like you are scaring me cas and cas is like no..no dean..it's just. it's stupid. but he's jumping into Dean's arms now tucking his head in his neck and there's that break in his voice like he's overwhelmed like he was when he first said.those words to dean and dean's like cas? cas??? and cas is like. you've never. i mean. i knew. i KNEW. and you've prayed. before. unconsciously. but you've never said. and dean is like stop fucking with me of course i have. and cas is like baby it's okay let's go back to sleep. but he's laughing and crying and he's HAPPY RIGHT like he's giddy and dean's losing his mind and he's having a crisis and he lies back down in bed and suddenly it's hitting him HOW STUPID he's been because like YEAH. he has NEVER actually..he really has never. said it.

and like he's like shit. cas shit.

and cas is like. no hey it's alright. i knew. I promise I knew. i just. i

and dean doesn't need to hear this he also doesn't need cas to defend him because this is just..like..it's not even neglectful or anything this is LITERALLY IDIOTIC it's literally like. SILLY STUPID like he is KICKING himself because WHAT THE FUCK

but then he's sitting up very seriously and he takes cas' face in his hands and he's like. i love you. I love you very much. I love you more than I've loved anything. more than pie. more than BABY. you're the love of my whole goddamn life. okay??

and cas is laughing again and crying a little bit and he's like oh god this is SILLY they are being SILLY. but dean keeps saying it over and over because he has all this time to make up for where he DIDN'T EVEN KNOW HE WASN'T SAYING IT and he kisses him between each little confession and it's silly and sweet and soft and everything good. and then they have sex and cry and fall asleep in each other's arms the end.

I find it so painfully heartbreaking that Solomon just...laughs off all the derision, the name-calling, and possibly even did "evil" things on purpose because it's expected of him at this point. (He had not always been like this as Thirteen pointed out before). There was a time when he was "innocent". When his soul sparkled. When it resembled the kind of soul everyone in these god forsaken (pun intended with spite) three realms seemed to associate with the ever loved MC. He's just...worryingly carefree. And because he's like that, he feels even more of a tragic character to me.

Sometimes it even seems that he himself would seemingly make up excuses on why he's hated. Oh, it's because I'm a sorcerer this. I might have won a war against Devildom single-handedly this. I have forgotten. But maybe, I did something bad, that. Hon, you were doing that to SURVIVE. You don't have to be a faultless person to deserve compassion. You don't have to be MC to deserve to be loved.

hehe. almost christmas!

Wednesday: *can't look at Enid*

Enid: *whispers in Wednesday's ear* "I never knew how happy I could be until I met you, Wednesday Addams"

despite the warnings, you stare into the sun you're willingly blinded by its brilliance beauty enraptures you so comfortingly you miss the blood dripping down your back

Mfs be asking me what I'm listening to in class and I gotta pull something out my ass because I'm not gonna tell my professor that I'm listening to a blonde rat getting choked out by an emo bitch with a chain

new enstars characters (nice + 4piece) as tbh/autism creatures ◕_◕ also i color picked them and recolored some pride flags because i can

fuyume -> bigender

ibuki -> nonbinary

esu -> transmasc

raika -> aroace

kanna -> agender

Why do we put so much value on truths, if all they do is crush us?

I cannot BELIEVE no one else is talking about this:

You people make me sick 😤 /j

I hate that we've gone from "don't like, don't read" and not caring about what fucked up shit is depicted in fan media as a standard to hypervigilance and having to mind your every word so the group you've found yourself in doesn't know you ship the Not HOA Approved Ship

HIS EYESSS!! IM GONNA WEEP!! Also wholesome drawing idea… V1 and Gabe being all cute and nuzzling eachother w/o helmet! Let him be accepting of his new body 😭❤️

(I’m loving all of these so so much I squee every time I see a new drawing or text post about your fallen Gabriel and V1)

wahhhh thank you!!! honestly i've had so much fun developing the au and asks are a big part of that bc you all have the best questions to help me think through things <3

also i swear im normal about their helmetless intimacy

✦ gods of mischief ✦ digimon survive week 2024 day 3: other digi- er, kemonogami

Hello!

If you're not too busy, would you mind listing some of the things you think count as death flags for Mr. Spender?

There's the obvious fact that he's the "old" mentor to group of young protagonists, but what else do you think would count?

OHH BOY ok so I'd think I'm a crackpot for this but since we're talking about Zack "Foreshadowing" Morrison. I have some thoughts

No harm in leading with the (chronologically) first thing that jumped out at me:

This one IMMEDIATELY made me antsy whenever I came back to it after my initial read, and considering Zack has referred to it on twitter in the past as one of their favorite jokes it's definitely not been forgotten about.

Second, the sheer amounts of near-misses, jokey or not, of Spender narrowly avoiding specifically lightning

Again, not much, but it's weird that it happened thrice, latter two of which had real gravitas rather than an one-off joke.

And third, Spender himself. He's repeatedly shown himself to be kind of a self sacrificing idiot, as well as prideful to a fault. Granted, it's both him and Mina trying to take on all the responsibility of saving Mayview and its inhabitants from their fate.. But Spender is exactly that right measure of doesn't-value-himself-enough (chest footprint aftercare or lack thereof), having an obscene amount of power (enables his loner act + pride) and poor judgement that has the capacity to put him at great risk. And it has!

Spender has not only shown low enough self-esteem to view himself as the de-facto scapegoat for the safety of the town, but also prideful enough to make very bad calls that end up in people, often himself, hurt (COUGH FORGE INCIDENT COUGH)

This is all conjecture, but it's definitely enough to make me worried about him :') Even if all this doesn't mean he'll necessarily die he's definitely getting (even more) seriously injured at some point. I love the guy but he's so far doing a horrible job of convincing me he wants to live bad enough to circumvent at least that