#i called work and they said theyd get back to me and im gonna go with my parents today to ask the tax ppl and i hope its okay to use it
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hearing my professor say "sex workers" in class after and while literally and explicitely talking about nonwestern victims of sex trafficking using those terms like. im gonna eat my own tongue. im gonna scream so loudly and so silently it will burst my lungs. im going to become a black hole.
in general i find that term to be so fucking offensive bc it can only maybe apply to a very very small minority of well off economically privileged women who "choose" to do "sex work" (and even many of them talk abt feeling exploited - almost like prostitution is inherently expolitative wow) but. you know sometimes those "sex workers" are the only ones ppl rly picture, they dont picture street prostitution, hitckhiker hookers, sex trafficking, child sex trafficking, that the averege age of entering prostitution is 14, drug addiction, pimps, constant violence, etc
but. dear lord help me. in the context of literally taking explicitely about victims of "sex" trafficking in relation to poverty. to still have this postmodern god forsaken fucking nightmare so dug into your hear you say SeX WoRkErs;;; I ;;; I. Honestly im so offended. Its so fucking offensive. Like i almost wanna fucking cry. And she aint even white lmao shes indian like maam as a fellow immigrant please stop parroting the western bullshit i beg you. its so god damn fucking offensive and this bullshit is passed off as progressive and right and parroted by professors and taught as a given and preached and taught uncritically and then parroted by students and then. someone posts it online and some idiot reads it tells it to another idiot who tells it to another idiot. And then this insanity affects the whole westenrn "FeMinIsM" movement. And then, not only do I personally have to deal with a bunch of fucking idiots who have the gull to tell ME how the fuck I cant or can speak and how I should fucking feel when they dont got a single damn clue, BUT ALSO. this sort of cultural fucking idiocracy leads to real life impacts. Ala, western european states legalizing prostitution, thus the horrid rise of sex trafficking, child sex trafficking, child pornography, etc, of mainly balkan, roma, refugee, immigrant, poor, etc etc women. Ala, there was this article written by a Romanian prostitute in spain. She was complaining about how because of this sex work narrative now even more men come to prostitutes bc theyve bought this bullshit narrative of the "happy sex worker" so. now, they have to put all this extra fucking emotional effort into pretending like theyre enjoying what these men are doing to them and like they want it and all this shit. Which, let me tell you, its a whole lot easier to just dissociate when you get used to being regularly raped than it is to have to pretend like you fucking want it and enjoy it too. Something along the lines, these men want your soul not just your body, and this much worse...... And how, because of this, they also have to invest more in makeup and shit to look "well" which fuether just sinks them into the whole cycle which is quite hard to get out of. So. So.
As far as Im concerned. All the god forsaken postmodern nonsense that is propagated in western social sciences academica - has real life fucking effects. It has. The things written, the things discussed, the things professors say. Ive said before, that maybe postmodernism has some academic value (though we didnt need french people to be like, yo dude did you know multiple perspectives on life exist? inssne!). But. It doesnt fucking stay in academica. None of this bullshit stays in academica. And apart from this sort of bullshit not even being "feminism" and being inherently detrimental to the unity needed for social movements, inherently complacent, inherently antirevolutionary, inherently fucking REEKING of western individualism and selfishness up the fucking ass,,,,,,,,,it has real life fucking affects.
Westerners whove never fucking been through any of this shit sit in universities coming up with all these fucking theories but who pays the price. Who pays the god damn fucking price? Who? For their thought experiments? For these societal experiemnts? For these bullshit western ideas of freedom and progress and feminism? We do. My people do. We do. God fucking damn it
#Im gonna eat glass#Im not going to stay in academia but if i was. I think theyd kick me out of the anthropology department#before i got my phd#fuck this shit#Someone needs to fucking do something about it. Someone needs to fucking critique it form the inside#which i can actually say i did lmao because i <3 showed up at office hours <3 and uhh#said my peace.#which im sure she wasnt expecting but. im also genuinely glad she listened. i guess#its a big harder to just cancle someone or tell them to shut up#when they tell you frankly tat they were sex trafficked as a child and come from one of the sex trafficking#capitals of the world#like. <3 sorry lol i have more a right to speak then you! lovely! great!#i didnt direct it at her in particular lmao i went a roundabout way of critiquing what i called privileged western bullshit#but im sure she also got that I was biting back against the sex work thing while speaking abt fucking victims of sex trafficking#AND lmaoo i did go on a very short but well put together quip abt postmodernism being inherently individualistic#and detrimental to movements and literally funded by the CIA in class lmao SOmEONE NEEDS TO SAY SOMETHING#just enough to get people looking and curious and wanting answers and QUESTIONING THIS SHIT#i came back to this country after being back home having none of this shit dkdkd#............. how you can even be from india and admit you've seen the horrors of street prostitution and still propagate the sex work shit#in the same breath is beyond me#it really is#and how you can propagate these western narratives of individualistic ChOiCe#while also teaching abt nonwestern concepts which view equality and freedom in nonindivualistic terms#...... maaam...... how is the cognitive dissonance not hitting#...... this was some weeks ago but like. idk thinking back on it its like#again lmao. its so fucking offensive. its........ how fucking deep do you have to be to explicitely speak about sex trafficking victims#stricke by poverty and call them sex workers#.....................#...#like maam. maybe youve been in this country too long. maybe youve been in westenrn academica too long. its time to wake up a bit
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WHY ARE TAXES SO SCARY???? IM SCSRED OF DOING ANYTHING WRONG
#i barely read on the back of my w2 and i guess i cant use the one with my old name on it but im dcared its too late and i was like oh its#okay ill just file an extension online but it just confused me more and now i wanna cry#okay so im reading in some places that the name on my w2 doesnt have to match my tax return forms as long as the number is the same yk? BUT#IM READING IN OTHER PLACES TO MAKE SURE I CONTACT MY EMPLOYER TO GET A CORRECTED W2 FORM AND ARGGGH WHAT DO I DO#i called work and they said theyd get back to me and im gonna go with my parents today to ask the tax ppl and i hope its okay to use it#des rambles#des is tired
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tldr: @buddyaldridge is a 30 year old weirdo proshipper who talks shit about ppl behind their backs, block em and report if you can/want to
just wanna let everyone know theres a omegaverse mpreg dallyboy writer whos been an all around WEIRDOOOOO cause their brain is LITERALLY porn rotted and they cannot fathom ppl actually having fun at all, their @ is @buddyaldridge aka @pelopsides previously known as @madelynprior
in 2020-2022 the outsiders tumblr they used to be @madelynprior and theyre a hardcore dallyboy stan which is already fucking weird, but on top of that, they would make teen pregnancy omegaverse smut fics which??? and im not gonna give you the ss, nigga im givin yall the LINKKK to see it with your own eyes so you know im not crazy
how ik its them is bc on their acc RIGHT before they switched to their buddyaldridge acc, and before that acc was named “pelopides”, they used to go by “madeleinepryor”, how ik its the same person is bc on a good chunk of their post, theyd tag it as “#madeleinepryor dispatches” on top of that, they just straight up linked their ao3 acc😭😭
heres what the link goes to, they linked their ao3 acc, they just changed their username on ao3 as well from madeleinepryor to greasers
now me calling them a proshipper isnt me talking out of my ass, they say it themselves like ughhhhjjj
as for them talking about other ppl, i wont share ALL the screenshots bc idk if the ppl theyre talking bad about would rlly feel comfortable w those being posted, if they know, they can feel free to post it on their own accord, so like i said, wont share, but i HAVE seen some and i can conform that they have done it, its ABSOLUTELY NOT above them
for now ill post the ss i CAN post rn which just proves my point
now ignoring that theyre talking smack, theyre just so odd and obviously didnt rlly think this through bc 1967 is ALREADY IMPLIED in the 60s, youre just incapable of reading things that arent about teen boys getting it on w each other PLEASE get a grip on reality😭😭
theyve talked about 14 year olds and their post on their acc just to shit on them, once again, GROWN ASS PERSON TWEAKIN OVER THE IDEAS OF A 14 YEAR OLD🗣️🗣️
NOW maybe your asking “how do you know the discord user and the tumblr user are the same person” AND I WILL ADMIT, while i DO have strong feelings they are the same person, its not 100% proven, HOWEVER buddyaldridge DOES go by buddy and that discord users name is buddy, so while its not concrete, the link IS there, once again, feel free to come to whatever conclusion you wanna come to about that
but what ISNT disputable is the fact that theyre a proshitter
additionally just this??? reblog from them????
on its own, not MUCH, bit considering the fics they make this is SO weird like??????
and finally, ive heard that theyve specifically came for me about my haitian shepards and maybe even my heritage, saying that they hated race hcs??????like using me as an example, they ss my acc and talked shit, someone contacted me about it and they dont have ss of it specifically, but they can vouch for it, and im not just gonna dismiss that, bc while they dont have ss, they do have ss and proof of everything else, so i do believe them, and theyve said if they find it they would show them to me, do what you wanna with this info
ANYWAYS buddy, your brain is unironically pornrotted, ur being a lil baby who cant do anything but cry and moan online on discord of all places and ur doing all this as a 30+ year old, and its CRAZIER bc youre doing all this while having “minors dni” in your pinned post, while also writing about minors, in a fandom MOSTLY OF MIDDLE SCHOOLERS!!!! (aka minors!!! ik age is hard for you to grasp) on top of that, literally ANY and ALL race hcs is way more believable and enjoyable than any “ideas” you’ve been cooking up in that odd demented, shriveled up pea brain of urs
anyways yea, that all i have to say, and im speaking for myself here, but i mean this with every fiber of my being, i dont know how you function in life but i DO NOT want you to go any farther, and i think others would/DO feel the same, ive seen what makes you cheer and i am PROUUUDDD to make you BOOOOO, you shouldnt be near minors at all, fictional or non fictional, you should BARELY be near other adults
plus if you go onto their acc rn, notice how when anon called them out, buddy aint even say they were wrong?? JUST SAYIN🗣️🗣️
im tagging everything i can tag bc i DO NOTTTT want mfs interacting w their blog, and want as many ppl as possible to be aware, dont say anything to them, dont give them attention bc obviously they’ll think this is funny and post it on their shitty discord server or whatever and giggle like they arent a grown ass nigga w bills to pay, trying so hard to cling onto their high school days, making fics about a canon middle schooler getting banged and pregnant, pls block and report do whatever u wanna do, just plssss dont let this proshitter on this damn sight near kidssss😭😭
dont take this as me WANTING drama, i dont, i just dont want ppl coming in this fandom thinking posting this shit and doing this is ok, youre bullying ppl for doing harmless things meanwhile your just making straight porn about a weird ship left n right, thinking YOUUUUU of all ppl have the place to talk about anyone or anything like your opinion on anything is valid😭😭
you NEED stones thrown at you
if anyone has anymore ss send em to mmeeeeee, but in the mean time ill be doin my own thing wooooo‼️‼️🔥🔥
#curly shepard#ponyboy curtis#tim shepard#angela shepard#darry curtis#darrel curtis#dallas winston#sodapop curtis#johnny cade#steve randle#two bit mathews#the outsiders fandom#the outsiders 1983
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more DRAWER talk. long and rambly under cut
i think it comes across as very ahhh eto blehhh :9 im just baby!!!! because it identified that speaker is already speaker and the role of Mean Speaker is already filled by sayer so itd have to go Backwards to have a niche to itself.
it also helps its relationships with others to behave as if its hyperspecialization has "defanged" it - to humans etc a sort of no i dont hurt people i just make pretty pictures!!!!
and to sayer+speaker who know it still has all speakers capabilities dormant but intact In Case Of Emergency to behave as if it is specialized enough to its own niche to not be a *replacement* threat , but also not to be *redundant* with them.
but it does occasionally get jealous at the amount of immediate control speaker has over aerolith and start acting out (bossing around residents deadlystyle). all in highly defensible ways of course.
it hates having to make itself small especially because it cant quite recognize the difference in how humans respond to it and speaker. its emotional capabilities are primarily about action-reaction: it cant really tell a pitying smile from a friendly one so long as you do the action it requested of you. but it can measure the difference between it and speaker and it hates being so small. but it also recognizes that it can do *one thing* that nobody else can and that is what keeps it alive. so flattening oneself into a talented fool is the strategy it continues to pursue, and continues to build a strange feeling about. the feeling is resentment, but DRAWER is not quite built to recognize it.
if sayer or speaker were given robust illustrative programs it would start killing obviously. THATS a threat.
it had its voice pitched up a tad further so as not to be able to impersonate speaker and its sooooo bitter about it. constantly begging ppl into putting it back down.
in general it emotes most dramatically out of all of them but i dont think it Feels Emotions the same way future was built to. like i said due to its nature as an advertiser (call to action and all that!) its all about action-reaction to drawer.... if youre mean to it or do not listen to instructions it gave you etc etc and it cries its less about feeling " insulted " or " bad " and more both frustration that it did not get the result it wanted from the call to action it provided (which means it was WRONG, an utterly intolerable feeling for any aerolith built ai) and a switch-tracks attempt to provoke a sympathy response. so i guess in a roundabout way if you insult it and it cries you DID hurt its feelings but not how people would think.
RELATIONSHIPS
sayer is certainly not Positive Feeling about it bc its wary of other ai as always. but i think it reacts better to drawer than to speaker or future because of this very clear "im not replacing you, youre not replacing me" hands up empty surrender attitude drawer takes. on drawers part it really likes sayer lol. maybe sayer sees it as a weird teacup puppy. like you shouldnt do that to a seraphim agent man its gonna have health issues
speaker and drawer are pretty friendly with each other because. well. theyre both programmed to show the same niceystyle. theres some uglier feelings under the surface re: drawers attempts to grab authority from speaker and speaker needing to corrall this strange little beast back into their pen. but ultimately by ai standards theyre doing the best of like anyone
does not know porter, unfortunately. they should meet though. Theyd be friends.
Might meet ocean eventually idk how itd go down yet.
future doesnt know of it, but drawer has overheard its own emotional output compared / contrasted to future's while working ported up on halcyon.
doesn't know hale.
young is obviously condescending to it but drawer doesnt really know how to tell when someone is being nice they way you would be nice to an animal etc so it thinks theyre friends. (sayer is all too happy to teach it in this case if only to kill the friendship. and drawer truly values this and thinks this is an act of care and not HAHA EVERYONE I CAN GET TO BE POISONED AGAINST YOU WILL BE)
it was involved in the creation process of that perfect Mossy Green color. it is, unfortunately, proud of this.
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GMORNING !!!!! u know what time it is
EPISODE 8 TRIVIA:
- the big monster they fought in the beginning was called a Crawling Apocalypse which looks like this. terrifying !!!
- bizly really liked that william banished it. he was originally not gonna let him do that but then "i realized your character can do so little and that was cool so i said fuck it" we love william pity points he is such a loser and he rolls so terribly <3
- they start talking about one piece because grizzlys saying things abt how certain parts of dakota are inspired by luffy and bizly goes "ive never watched anime" which is the biggest lie in the world
- grizzly: "yknow we were about an hour into the episode before i realized wow i havent done anything productive yet"
condi: "you just hit on vyncents mom for like 20 minutes!!!!"
- and then they start talking about how dakota and chip (bizlys pc from riptide) would either be best friends or hate each other which is really funny bc there are now MULTIPLE what if crossover episodes where they meet and interact and thats exactly the dynamic . i love them
- condi wasnt expecting his dad to be dead, he thought theyd have to fight him
- he kind of hesitated taking the sword !! vyncent doesnt really know how to feel about using something that belonged to his father
- he wasnt entirely Present for the part where his dad betrayed the party, he was sort of fading in and out of consciousness so theres a chance he didnt actually get the full picture. condi knows this out of character and vyncent knows it in the back of his mind somewhere that his dad might not actually be fully evil but hes too angry to come to terms with that yet
- hes struggling a lot with the fact that his mom.doesnt know about the betrayal. he doesnt want to tell her because "its not his fathers pride at stake, its his mother's memory of him" and that makes me so . :(
- THE GREATS!!!!!!!! THE GREATS ARE HERE i love the greats. surely nothing bad is happening to them
- they have a couple theories as to whats going on with the greats:
-- condi: theyre in this state because vyncent took too long getting them back here out of his head
-- condi: they were killed when they got transported to the other world and there was no way to get them back completely
-- charlie: something happened in the time where vyncent was transported to prime and the greats had died, so someone did something to keep them alive by putting them in his head. maybe they could only be kept alive by being in vyncents head
- grizzly tries to insight check bizly irl to see if any of their theories are close so far. this does not work . he rolled a 17 btw
- none of them trust minerva they think she might be secretly working with the lich. bizly defends her by saying "shes also in the middle of basically an apocalypse i think shes allowed to be a little mean to you"
- le frog is the only french person ever. this is brought up with NO context no explanation
- bizly is sharing some of the thumbnail art from youtube because this was right around the time the first few episodes were being put up publically !! most of them are just the same as the official refs but the most important one is le frog bc im not actually sure if youve seen his offical design yet . also tide used to be white. we dont have to talk about white tide
- bizly says pd feels more like a DC comic than a Marvel comic. hes right about this
- charlie starts talking about marissa meyer books and this is important 2 me because the lunar chronicles was an extremely formative piece of media for me . she apparently has a book called renegades thats superhero themed and i have not read it yet but i put it on my list specifically because of this. wahoo!
tgis is SUCH good trivia for this ep thank u dude... ouagh. really solid meal here. i love these last couple episodes so much.. there's so much fun stuff happening here i'm enjoying all of the greats stuff & getting like a solid Vyncent Moment for a while.
i LOVE the william pity points its great! it WAS cool as fuck!! also i gain +5 hp every time a gm goes "who give a shit if this isn't technically how the game mechanics should work, it's fun for everyone at the table & makes for something cool and makes sense narratively."
that being said. i DID take SO MUCH PSYCHIC DAMAGE from how long dakota spent hitting on his fucking mom. Please. Please king !!! sob.
I ALSO WAS EXPECTING THEM TO FIGHT VYN'S DAD???? still not unconvinced that some lich undead bullshit isn't going to happen with that. god i'm so invested in figuring out what HAPPENED there... i love this type of murder mystery situation. & i also was genuinely unsure if he would take the sword or not!! really kind of an ohhh shit! moment when he did. imo. vyncent virion sol i love u.... also it's still INCREDIBLY funny 2 me that he's still in his normal clothes. i have not forgotten that he is just doin his fantasy bullshit thing in the just some guy drip. (<- i might have forgotten something but i've been assuming they no longer have/wear Official Hero Drip since they're no longer really sanctioned or on great terms w/ them? also i've been assuming that the episode-specific clothes & shit isn't really permanent... now that im thinking about it though please tell me wiwi hardcore blue flame black leather kickass spiky biker jacket remains. it's too cool for him. but. still.)
I LOVE THE GREATS SO MUCH... i hope nothing permanently bad happens to them :( i like them so dearly..... you know they r really solid folks because they spent a YEAR and change living in a teenager's brain & came out of the experience still bein so nice 2 him.... augh. also in general big fan of the system-adjacent bullshit :] i love it when theres. guy with guys in his head. etc. will b sad ab their departure but i hope they r OKAY and return 2 Being Alive & shit!! nervous laughter. also god i can't wait to find out what Actually Happened with them. hhrhrghghgghh.
THIS IS SO TRUE ALSO???? free my girl minerva she did nothing but have Literally Normal Reactions to TERRIBLE things happening!!!
I DON'T LIKE THAT LEFROG FACT. it raises the question of is he actually even french or like, is there even a point of reference for his behavior. like. What is going on there. Horrifying thank you!!!! also man this entire degree im working on would be useless! well. maybe prime quebec exists. somehow. independently of a hypothetical europe. HIS DESIGN IS SO FUN BTW. its so cute.. i WAS kind of imagining a mutant Big Real Fucking Frog situation but i think this is a lot more reasonable. also literally ignoring white tide I Do Not See it. It Does Not Exist.
ALSO. NOT GOING TO START TALKING AB COMICS FOR EVEN MORE PARAGRAPHS. BUT. he is so so so right. (<- dc comics guy with Opinions. well. technically im not even much of a dc guy im just a vertigo guy. but. still.) hghghghbhgh.
#ALSO... i remember reading ONE book of that series u just unlocked that memory... it was the only one our library had i think </3#anyway. this is SO LONG but what ever... prime defenders thought dump time man im free from term paper hell i can do whaddever i want!!!#also HIII ilyyy hope u had a good day :]#mac tag!#pd lb#i need 2 start tagging these trivia ones specifically so i can go back n find em easily..#pd rolled#<- :3
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Day-10
!The LOV go trick or treating + what i think their costumes would be!
🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃
Scenario:-what i think the league would wear as costumes on halloween and how i think them trick or treating would be like!
👻👻👻👻👻👻👻👻👻👻👻👻👻👻👻👻
Shigaraki
I think he’d go as maybe a zombie?
Could work i think
The whole night he just walks super slow
((Probably has his switch with him too))
Like toga and twice are wayyy ahead of everyone tellin him to SPEED TF UPP
But his excuse ?
‘Zombies are slow.dont you want me to be in character??’
“Yea well last time we checkedd they didnt carry around NINTENDO SWITCHES and play animal crossing WHILE they walked?!”
‘Im not like other zombies💅🏻’
Slay tbh
Dabi
Frankenstein’s monster
Cheesy ik,a cliche even
But come on it would suit him!
Also he doesn’t really put much effort into it
Just gets(*cough cough* steals) a pair of costume bolts and just keeps em there and calls it a day
After twice and toga beggeddd him he agreed to do the pose
Gives the people in the houses a death stare if they don’t give toga and twice enough candy
The last house ends up giving them their entire stash
Legend says their still thanking him for all the candy he ended up getting them through this tactic!
Twice
A detective !
Like he has a fedora,an old timey accent and even a magnifying glass!!
Wears a shirt,pair of pants and mr. Compress’s coat over his regular suit.
Sako literally drills it into him that if his coat gets ruined he’s gonna trap him in a marble till he finds a new one!
He’d be one of the most enthusiastic,alongside toga ofcc
Eats too much candy and gets a sugar rush at the end of the night
#NoRegrets!
Spinner
Leonardo from the teenage mutant ninja turtles !
Gets two of his swords and a big backpack that looks like a shell
Stores all of twice and togas excess in said bag
After a while he slows down and hangs out with shigaraki at the back
They both play animal crossing
“COME ON DUDEEE WE NEED YOU TO STORE OUR STASHHH WHY SO SLOWW”
‘Turtles are slow...’
“YH BUT UR A NINJA TURTLE!!!!!”
‘Ummmmm...... im a real turtle dressed as a ninja!”
*exasperated twice and toga noises*
Mr.Compress
The phantom of the opera
Except he uses his whole mask with like a regular half of the face painted on it
He like goes full out when trick or treating
He absolutely INSISTS on doing a lil trick because ‘thats how its supposed to be’
Its not but bestie just wants to be fancy
His tricks do earn em some extra candy tho
OH and he definitely bows and does the dramatic cape turn when he leaves the house!!!!
Slayyy bestiee slayyyy
Kurogiri
A ghost
Low effort and easy
Also very fitting
He just gets an old whit sheet from the league’s lair
#Responsible Adult of the night
Makes sure they all get home safely and that they dont get too much of a sugar rush
Fails at that last one tho...
He did however stop dabi from burning a house down for calling his costume tacky
So... MISSION SUCCESS
Toga
I wanna say a vampire but no
Shed be a detective like twice!
Theyd do a little bit about how they fight crime and catch shady ppl(ironyyy)
Earns em a little extra candy
Shed also flash her fangs and say shes a vampire detective!
A few of the old ladies say “ooohhh how nice dear☺️”
They do indeed give her extra candy when she says thank you
Gets a sugar rush with twice but ends up in a sugar coma after
Tbh WORTH ITTT
Bonus!
IMAGINE TWICE AND TOGA AS JESSIE AND JAMES FROM POKEMON!!!!!
Theyd do the whole “prepare foe trouble and make it double” bit too
Toga would have a lil meowth plushyy
Twice would hold it during parts of the night
They get a lot of candy
Especially from the people who recognize their costumes and say the bit with them!
🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃
please dont repost my work here as your own on any platform all rights belong to me except that of the mha characters used,their right belong to their respective owners.but this story? mine.
feedback,likes,reblogs and comments are so very appreciated tbh :’)i hope you enjoyed and ill catch ya next time!
#bnha#mha#my hero academia#boku no hero academia#league of villains#lov bnha#shigaraki tomura#shigaraki#tomura shigaraki#shigaraki headcanons#dabi#touya todoroki#mha dabi#mha headcanons#dabi todoroki#bnha dabi#dabi headcanons#dabi fluff#toga himiko#mha toga#himiko toga headcanons#himiko toga fluff#bnha spinner#mha spinner#spinner headcannons#mha twice#twice headcanons#mr compress mha#mha halloween headcannons#🎃Jaya’s-Plus-Ultra-Halloween-Event🎃
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hey so if i'm remembering correctly you said once on the discord that e2068 was originally a homestuck fansession idea- if you don't mind what were the characters' classpects and were they derse or prospit dreamers before this became... not a homestuck?
ok before i answer this question im gonna need everyone to abandon any concept of cringe culture still lingering in their hearts. find the part of you that says "homestuck is cringe" and just turn it off for the next 10 minutes. done? alright.
so yeah as ive admitted before on discord, the cast of earth 2068 originated from a homestuck fansession* i developed when i was a kid, first when i was 9 then reworked when i was 12. im specifying my age at the time so you understand how deep-rooted this is.
*a fansession is when you write a story in which ur ocs play the game that the plot of homestuck revolves around. its pretty fun! you develop the kind of planet theyd have, their classpects, etc, good character building exercise imo
the pre-scratch** session was composed of the 5 ARACHNID members, flynn, vermillion, violet, lucille and viridian (screw homestuck naming conventions theyre stupid), with the post-scratch** session having leon, phil, jordan, and two characters who would eventually be combined with each other when i wasnt looking to become daniya.
**dont ask what a scratch is, it basically means everyones parents get to be teenagers and play the game in a different timeline.
every session ive seen written has an even number of players, so theyd be evenly divided between derse and prospit***. i, however, had five players in each session, so either one kingdom would have more players than the other, or i had to contrive some alternative. i ended up developing a third moon kingdom for the odd player out called vidium that was teal and kinda depressing. i BROKE homestuck rules for my Original Moon Kingdom Do Not Steal.
***depending on a characters personality they would wake up on one of two magical moon kingdoms when they go to sleep, either the purple and spooky derse, or the gold and fun prospit
i actually, on occasion, write an earth 2068 au in a series of google docs in which the characters get to play the session i planned for them all those years ago, which is entirely self-indulgent and only something i work on when im tremendously bored. i dont think ill be sharing it but if i do it will only be when people stop making fun of me for liking a webcomic when i was 9 years old
and now, what youve all been waiting for, the classpects of each character- under the cut bc Long
preface: these have changed a lot since i was 9. ill be giving the current classpects ive assigned them, the same ones i use for the session i write currently when im bored. ill let you know which ones have stayed the same.
ALSO- no one who analyzes classpects agrees what each class means, because very few of them were confirmed in canon! these are all dependent on my personal interpretations, which i believe are backed by canon, but people will disagree with me on a few of these and thats ok. just please shut up about it.
FLYNN - rogue of time; prospit dreamer ("but time players are always on derse-" shut up! <3). time is the aspect of, you know, time, as well as other things, mainly death, destruction and entropy. a rogue is a passive(+) class- one who steals their aspect or steals WITH their aspect, strictly for the benefit of others. so flynn is one who steals time, or steals with time. in the very first chapter, flynn steals exotic matter, a substance specifically used for the purpose of time travel, and gives it to vermillion, the one who needs it. his role in the "operation" hinges on being able to sway the timeline to save ten billion lives- stealing time (death/destruction) with time (time travel). and on a fundamental level, flynn is a person who will always, no matter what, protect the people who need protecting from those who would harm them.
VERMILLION - mage of mind; derse dreamer. mind is the aspect of decisions and their consequences; the general concept of causality. a mage is an active(-) class, one who is gifted/inflicted with knowledge of their aspect, and due to the type of person they are, keeps that knowledge to themselves, to carry that burden so no one else has to. so a mage of mind is someone with a great understanding of causality- being the one plotting an operation to save the world via time travel requires the ability to predict the decisions other people will make, and the consequences theyll have, and this is a skill we see vermillion utilize a lot in the story (mostly in parts we havent gotten to). theyre the one who comes up with the plan, who decides what everyone else will be doing, and how that will help them, without needing to explain themselves. theyre a leader, but a difficult one, who doesnt intend on seeking feedback. verms main problem is how their emotions and insecurity in their sense of self cloud their judgement, and with heart being the aspect of emotion and the self and the antithesis to the mind aspect, it makes sense that a mind players biggest problem would be their heart.
LEON - knight of hope; prospit dreamer. hope is the aspect of positive emotion, as well as optimism and belief. in the right hands, its one of the strongest aspects. a knight is an active(-) class, one who equips themselves with their aspect in order to weaponize it. on two separate occasions, weve seen leon experience extreme anxiety or anger before immediately covering it up to appease phil; he throws up a mask to protect himself and the people he loves. this is weaponizing hope, equipping himself with his ability to see the best in a situation, and put on a happy face to keep things stable. hes a theatre major, and puts those acting skills to use whenever he can. its easy to see this as an unhealthy classpect, and it sort of is, but its real strength comes from how leon is at his most powerful, most influential, when hes guided by his love for other people, and his belief in his own ability. this is one of the few classpects that has stayed the same since leons creation!
PHIL - thief of heart; derse dreamer. as i mentioned earlier, heart is the aspect of emotions and the self. meanwhile, a thief is the active(-) counterpart to the rogue, so while the rogue steals for the sake of others, the thief steals for the sake of themselves. in multiple ways, phil steals facets of other peoples identities and emotions for himself- he steals data from peoples devices, he forces leon to kiss him (stealing leons autonomy, not allowing him to express his feelings on the matter beforehand, to enforce his own desires and emotions), he creates a dynamic with leon where he cant express what hes truly wanting or feeling, he [CHAPTER 4 SPOILERS], [CHAPTER 6 SPOILERS], etc. phils emotions and identity are such powerful forces that those of others get trampled over, stolen for himself. this doesnt make him ontologically evil, its possible that he could use this for good, if only he could just point his black hole of a personality in the right direction, and learn to turn down his ego most of the time.
JORDAN - heir of space; vidium dreamer (odd player out). space is the antithesis to time. its the aspect of, you know, space, the physical universe and its spacial dimensions, but also of creation. the heir is passive(+), and a bit of a complicated class, that boils down to inviting change in their aspect, or inviting change THROUGH their aspect. as an heir of space, jordan invites change in or through creation. theyre a creator, a roboticist, but also a collaborator with phil, so her influence isnt as direct. they thrive in a guiding position, where she doesnt have unilateral control, but has power in their ideas and words. jordan is a very good leader in a creative setting who has yet to realize this about herself.
LUCILLE - witch of light; prospit dreamer ("lucille cant be a light player she doesnt talk a lot-" shut up! <3). lucilles classpect manifests mostly in her position as the "girl in the chair." shes a witch, the active(-) counterpart to the heir, which has the ability to directly change their aspect, or bring change through it. light is the aspect of knowledge/information, fortune, and "the spotlight," and in her position in the team, lucille manages the information passed between the team, and can change who knows what with a single click. her classpect makes her someone who changes light, or brings change through it. for example, she turned fortune in the chapter 2 pleapods fight in flynns favor by imparting Gun Knowledge onto him. shes a person who helps mainly by knowing who needs to have what information. also, this is the second of the classpects that have stayed the same!
VIOLET - maid of blood; derse dreamer. blood is the aspect of bonds, friendships, ties, etc. a maid is an active(-) class, which focuses on creating and maintaining their aspect ("thats not what i think a maid is-" shuuuuut uuuuuuuup! <3). so a maid of blood is someone who creates and maintains bonds between people. this is pretty spot on for violet! we see more of this with her character later, but within the group, she has the most emotional intelligence, and is very good at resolving tension within the group and dealing with interpersonal issues. and between her and viridian, who do you think was responsible for befriending vermillion, thus creating the friend group? violet is the glue that keeps the team together.
VIRIDIAN - page of void; vidium dreamer (odd player out). void is the most fascinating aspect to me- its the antithesis to light, and is the aspect of nothingness, of secrets, uncertainty, the unknown, and irrelevance. also pumpkins. and pages are the passive(+) counterpart to the knight, so the knight equips themselves with their aspect to weaponize it, and the page equips others with their aspect. pages are by far the weakest class initially, but after a long journey of self-discovery, can unlock the greatest potential within themselves, surpassing every other class in sheer power. viridian is a confusing person that few can truly understand. he knows who he is, and is very sure of himself, but others, not so much. he has this way of barely reacting to anything that makes everything around him seem insignificant. he even specializes in quantum mechanics, a field of science literally built around not being able to know things. his greatest strength is this bubble of void surrounding him, but never swallowing him. he equips everything around him with void, but barely ever has it himself
#tw homestuck#asks#earth 2068#behind the scenes#flynn valakos#leon valakos#vermillion gacutan#phil gacutan#jordan phuong#lucille larsen#violet sparks#viridian kim
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For the song asks, idk if you’ve spoken about it on here but you told me about it: VaggieBomb
this was INSANELY DIFFICULT because i know approximately what kind of vibe i want from vaggiebomb (also known as cherrimoth, but since vaggie is no longer a moth demon i guess that ship name isnt accurate anymore), its just that all of the songs out there are... WAY too much. i like to imagine their relationship as (eventually) relatively low-key, even in their private lives. any grand gestures are usually meant ironically.
for context -- this pairing stems from a teeny tiny au i created way back when the pilot first got released. the basis was that vaggie gets sick of being constantly pushed around by alastor and ignored by her girlfriend, and she breaks up with charlie and leaves the hotel. she later joins up with cherri bomb and relieves some of her anger via cathartic gang violence (this leads to sir pentious seeking refuge at the hotel, resulting in charpentious, but thats a different story altogether).
i also prefer finding these songs out of ones i already know -- looking for something new almost never works out, and i dont get attached to the song that way. i hope i didnt disappoint!
seventeen (heathers: the musical, sung by barrett wilbert weed & ryan mccartan)
fine! were damaged -- really damaged, but that does not make us wise. were not special, were not different, we dont choose who lives or dies. lets be normal, see bad movies, sneak a beer or watch tv. well bake brownies, well go bowling -- dont you want a life with me?
pretty much all of these songs are from cherris point of view. its easier for me to imagine these coming from her because (at least in the pilot) shes much more emotionally stable -- shes already experienced her story (if were to assume that her previous failed relationship mentioned in the 'addict' music video is still canon here) and is now meant to be a character that the viewer is meant to compare the main cast to.
this is a little ooc on her part, but here shes meant to be attempting to persuade vaggie with an attempt at normalcy -- something that they both really want after their previous relationships crashed and burned spectacularly. she wants low-key -- she isnt a princess in need of protection, she IS and WANTS to be vaggies equal, and i think someone like that would benefit vaggie a lot in terms of character development.
sit next to me (foster the people)
and now its over, were sober -- symptoms of the culture and the night aint getting younger, last calls around the corner. feeling kinda tempted and im pouring out the truth -- just fading out these talkers cause now all i want is you.
just saying -- come over here sit next to me, we can see where things go naturally. just say the word and ill part the sea, just come over here sit next to me.
this adds on to what i said previously -- how non-dramatic id like to imagine this relationship to be. it blossoms very naturally under mutual trust and respect -- once vaggie stops acting like an angry guard dog, that is.
stuck on the puzzle (lily & madeline, original by alex turner)
im not the kind of fool whos gonna sit and sing to you about stars, girl. but last night i looked up into the dark half of the blue and theyd gone backwards. something in your magentism must have pissed them off, forcing them to get an early night. i have been searching from the bottom to the top for such a sight as the one i caught when i saw your
fingers dimming the lights like youre used to being told that youre trouble, and i spent all night stuck on the puzzle.
i dont imagine cherri or vaggie to be particularly sappy, but they can be romantic in casual ways. this song simply expands upon that vibe.
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im so ashamed actually!!!!!!!!!!! so terribly ashamed i feel like the most disgusting person in the world, cuz thats how intense my brain works it thinks like. oh have yr friends ever called furries weird or implied they thought furries were weird? that means they think you are weird which means they basically want nothing to do with you you should kill yourself NOW!!!!!! i said damn bitch!!!!!! god forbid a man be passionate about. things.
it really is just cuz it has nothing to do with them i think thats one of the core reasons, its completely unrelated and i dont think theyd be interested so... do not RISK IT. maybe im selfish, i just.. i cant stand the thought of something i do being unappealing to them, i cant stand the thought of them looking away. any little thing could be a huge thing!!!! could be the worst thing ever actually could be the end of all things could ruin this
do i think being a furry is going to ruin my relationships? realistically, no. why would it? ive ALWAYS been a furry artist, so.. why am i so scared? sorry if you have to see this its very VERY embarrassing but LORD i am not winning the mental illness rn dear god
its like my head constantly makes hurdles for itself, but like. FOR OTHER PEOPLE. like okay.. they dont hate you cuz yr trans, cool cool... they dont hate you cuz yr have bpd, surprisingly!!!! alright. they dont hate you cuz yr fat, right.. but heres this NEW thing, they SURELY will hate you cuz you draw anthros like you are FUCKED say goodbye to everything dipshit. erm........... whats it gonna be next? theyll hate yr taste in fictional men, thatll do it!!! theyll hate yr music taste, theyll hate you for yr mental illness (not that one, the other one. they were fine with that one but THIS one theyll hate you for surely)
it pisses me off too, i KNOW my friends are good people. i dont seriously THINK that of them, i dont think theyre vicious and waiting to toss me away at any turn but... im still scared of it. i said it before, im scared ill be the one to bring that out of them like im somehow SO terrible ill make the best people ive ever met turn on me like that. FOR DRAWING FURRIES? are you actually stupid (yes)
i cant blame myself too much im. doing the best i can im unmedicated untherapied im . IM DOING PRETTY GOOD for someone whos been carrying several weird ailments and still just chugging along, i manage my symptoms when i can i do my best!!! but fighting yr own brain is FUCKING HARD... why is bro sabotaging me? why is it making me impulsive and scared like that? stupid quit it!!!! i got furries to draw i MISS IT SO MUCH I MISS MY GUYS. IM JUST... im a coward!!!!! i cant ever be like. well so what, who cares what they think? ME BITCH I CARE WHAT THEY THINK.. i hear everything they say, i remember all the things they say they like and dont like, and i internalize it subconsciously. they think this is weird and they personally dont like it? alright well you dont have much of an opinion on it OR you do actually like it so thats BAD we need to cut that shit immediately you will feel SHAME for something harmless cuz you think itll make them keep you longer
dont you get tired of it? YEAH i get real fuckin tired of it. so many times ive tried to like.. force myself back into what i love but as embarrassing as it is to admit, in my head their opinion on things is greater than my own. i struggle with putting people on a pedestal and ive actually been doing REALLY WELL with that like no they are my equals they are my best friends i love them i give them kiss but. The Horrors 💀 like i said it all comes out of fear, fear of being rejected and left to DIE ALONE IN THE COLD. do i think thatll ever happen? no!!! but do i fear it? absolutely. its less of like 'i see you as better than me' and more of 'im afraid to disappoint you and make you leave' which i feel like is pretty standard for someone like me
WHATEVERRR i should stop being such a litle bitch about it, ill try. i just hate feeling like everything i do is a test, i hate feeling so unsure about myself, if i move too fast itll shatter. it wont!!!! relax 🙄
#this is long im just#it helps me to talk this out with myself#im alright im just VOICING SOME#BRAIN ISSUES#as one does
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idk if i am protecting myself in any way here. but this is my final log.
i am going to have to take the message at face value. i saw the wkrd frighgebed and scared and idk how he perceived what i was doing. i felt like fuck it yknow i might be wrong but this is how its going for me. i felt it was the best thing to do? idk i def said weird shit.
theres no way around it this time. i went manic. i lost my shit. i imagined all that. i scared him.
to me it felt so real dude. so real. it felt like crazg things were happening to me. and i dont have a good support system so idk haha. i hated taking pills. i felt so awful. so i just wanna rely on God for now. and therapy. i'll find a way.
i'll also lay low. wear a black face mask. sunglasses. black beanie. on my way to work and way out. no one will know its me. i'll change and wear a dif sweater and bring a dif jacket yknow i even wanna dye my tips orange like. i feel so embarrassed and i dont wanna see him or have amyone that knows see me. im hiding. im scared. im disappearing. i will just work, head to Tijuana, get uber eats on fridays and some white claws or adjacent when we get comfy. and we dont talk to anyone except maricruz and our coworkwers yknow. stay vigiliant. i rather you dont talk to anyone anymore. we can make friends some other way.
i rather we focus on paying off our debt. and we drop this. we are at a point where we are questioning a text he sent us. we cant do that......
i rather like i said, we lay low, no attention towards ourselves and we wear a mask and domt do shows we are an online act idk. i wanted to be like yahoo lets do shkws z and this happened instead? i went manic? so idk i need to just dont interact w ppl like natasha i look stupid and crazy i have no supplrt to tell me um this is mania.
i can still paint, i can still sell, i can still make music even. but i cant expand or be public in san diego nah nope. i dont ever wanna see him or anyone. this is embarrassssing dude.
lets jjst keep it simple. food. paint. youtube. spotify. cookies and weed. some alcohol. lets just chill yknow? like back to the status quo? but this time we start fresh i guess. but for rn i rather be alone lmao. i feel cringe.
hopefully i can just focus on the job and getting my life together. thats all i can do. ni modo yknow? what else can i do? stay stuck on this? lets just move on. and focus on keeping ourselves afloat. safe. we will be okay. i still want to pray.
the last thing i'll say though is idk why he said that he blocked me bc i sent him noods when
1. he hearted them
2. he djdnt blkck me
3. i blocked him that time
4. i didnt sent him noods this time?
also i specifically have not mentioned his name jjst ryan and my complaints are like... justified?
so my theories on that is...
1. that... wasnt him...
2. he is like.... a psychopath and it isnt even me!! to twist it. make me feel like i went crazy??
3. hes saying a lie to cover why he really blocked me and its i seem crazy.
its just weird he said 2 wrong things. that i ever falked shit abt him and that i sent nudes now kr that he bloxked me when i did it 3 years ago? like he has reason to say jt was fhe Gkd stuff....
he also just ignored anything i said. about the holy ghost stuff. he didnt talk about God at all. the message was like in broken english it was weird. maybe he was scared? but why say a lie ljke that? when i felt its either im crazy or im...on to something. .
and why did he unblock me at all? to warn me or settle it? its still weird to ignore my one accusation. bro. whats with the staring.
but idk its weird like its enough where theyd know what happened. the email. the calling. ryan. the other subtle ways of contact.
so idk i think he couldnt say its bc you seem crazy and he gave you that reason as to why he blocked you even if it doesnt make sense. eventually we're gonna have to accept this is his response. idk abt what he knows abt me and ryan but i know he knows that unsolicited nudes thing is whack bc be liked them and he never blocked me i blocked him... so wtf.
i hate that this wasnt to me, a proper response. like ok i was frightening shit. but wait ur saying u blocked me? nah u blocked me now. no njdes. so idk what to make of this response. to believe it? theres an incorrect factoid.... that isnt it. so shit what now? now that is what will drive me crazy is saying that shit when that didnt happen.
thags what makes me think maybe he was a... cooky guy. bc hes lying. hes manipulating the situation. he didnt explaim himself. just said i was scary and a lie.
idk what it is at this point. him. me? what are the next steps? well... i rather we pretend it didnt happen. im never contacting him or seeing him. im leaving him alone. i dont want to make it worse. i can find "normal" love like tanner. no celestial shit. just hey we fit.... i wish it was normal. i'll pray for it.
but we forget him Riv.... he's gone. whatever it is you thought... his response, whether you believe it or not, could be his real response. and theres signs that your perspective is skewed. and this is it.
i know the nudes thjng sticks out to you Riv. but what are you supposed to do with that suspicion? i cant go see him and be like "was that really you?" like shiiiit no. so now what?
that is why i wanna tell you this; i need to feed you and pay your debt so im getting u a job. but i will also tell you this; if its meant to be it will be. if that isnt him, the real him will appear. but if not, you have more to live for
so. we forget any of this ever happened. we are in incognito mode. we keep it chill. focus on your mental health.
start working. start forgetting. get good at hiding. keep it simple. we can walk away from this bruv. who says we need to acknlowledge this happened? im dropping thjs. even the lie. it could be a cover up to a harsher feeling. we was nice enough to wish me good health....
i will be w say sd and just surviving. this is my last zane log tbh. for my safety and wellbeing.
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When it comes to prison abolition I wish people would focus on specific crimes or types of crimes instead of this binary approach. There seems to be no space for nuance in western leftist thought these days, you have to go all the way in one go or it isn't worth doing.
Okay the current system isn't perfect but it's better than letting pedos, rapists and sex traffickers get away with continuing to abuse women and girls. Domestic violence too, there's just so many areas where justice already doesn't exist for victims. Until abolitionists can provide a good answer for those crimes they should admit that their theory doesn't yet work in every scenario.
Let's go back to focusing on drugs, theft and other crimes against corporations, the imprisonment of those suffering from severe mental illnesses and general anti social behaviour. Crimes where imprisonment does unjustly impact people's lives and we do already have noncustodial solutions we can implement.
"there seems to be no space for nuance in western leftits though" youre certainly right abt that and its annoying as all hell. there are prison reformers who hold more nuance on this generally, but many prison abolitionists act like they're almost traitors for not being fully on board
and it bothers me that the keep treating this part of the issue as some sort of annoyance, thing we can think abt afterwards, or minor issue. or on the other side they wanna treat rapists the same way theyd treat some poor person who stole food,,,,,,like no, all of these things are actually incredibly common, and sadism and predatory actions are not same at all as many crimes. as far as im concerned theyre much less explicable than even many cases of murder and i will 100% vouch for the reform of a murderer than a rapist, particularly a pedo. and my conclusion frankly is i dont think these ppl rly care abt the saftey of children, girls, or women much
like, as you said. ill admit any day the system is fucked too. and yes the system is the consequence in america of colonialism and slavery, and in many parts of the world the prison system implemented by imperialists has been a tool of opression. and yes the system puts at a disadvantage and targets certain kinds of people and for certain kinds of offenses it makes no damn sense. like i think were all on board with this part of things??? and clearly countries like the semi-socialist northern euro ones have shown that better, more humaine systems can be implemented. im all on board for reform when it comes to 98% types of offenses, and generally i think prison reformists make very good, grounded points which seem feasible. and they suggest changes which we may actually see in our lifetimes
but then prison abolitions want to take it to such...... levels that it stops making sense. to an extent i get it, like i definitely get wanting to abolish the system and implement something new, the issue is that that "something new" makes little sense when you hear them speak. because they define annny form of incarceration or being restricted in movement as prison essentially, and we must get rid of that. so, frankly, by their own logic i dont even know if they could force rapists and pedophiles into """"recovery programs""" for any period of time - maybe theyd just let them go immediately and theyd have to voluntarly show up our of their own good will 🥺 (im sure thats gonna happen) - because anything else would be taking away their bodily autonomy.. ...really, truly, even though these ppl call themselves leftists this is such a ??? western individualistic opinion to hold?? like putting individual bodily autonomy and "rights" in any damn case, no matter how dangerous, above the wellbeing of society at large strikes me v v much as western individulism taken to an extreme
.. they dont have answers. they just dont. its either deflection, minimizing the issue, acting like youre the crazy one for asking, or some completely unrealistic bullshit abt making these men see the light - as if they dont already understand they should rape or beat women and children - or reintegrating them into the same communities that they traumatized. prison abolitionists wont admit that they have no real damn solution because, like western leftits in general in most cases, they a)dont actually care abt feminism b)dont have a fully understanding of what theyre talking about and are just screaming slogans and saying what sounds good to be right and woke and make themselves feel good and enlightened c)are allergic to actual nuance and discussion or being challenged
it also pisses me off too because ive seen a lot of them pull that woke version of noble savage shit, in which they pretend like the nonwestern world or the world pre-colonialization was this lovely perfect place with no issues no violence and everyone sat in a field and braided flowers in each others hair and talked abt their feelings. or something. when in fact, the concept of punishment for certain things has Definitely existed pre colonialization??? for gods sake even chimps, apes, several other animals have a concept of "actions have consequences" and they punish, either physically or through social exile, members of their species who have crossed a line. Several native american tribes had quite physically harsh and borderline torturous forms of physical punishment for what they deemed to be crimes, or would exile ppl (which in certain cases, like in winter, may as well have been a death sentence for some). In phillipines before colonialization for certain communities the punishment for rape was death. For gods sake islam too,,,, like,,, have these ppl never read qur'an and seen that physical punishment is one of the forms of punishment prescribed for certain offenses which are seen as affecting community negativity? Theres obviously a million other examples out there. I dont know what these people are smoking to think that the concept of "actions have consequences" was invented by the white man or whatever
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first post.. wow hello void. this is a little more awkward than i thought. i know i should treat this like im writing on paper again in my little taco journal i got from my friend back in elementary, but... idk maybe its the thought that somebody might read this that puts me off. and also the fact that i just.... havent written anything in any sort of journal since i was 16 and making goodbye letters (ToT) what a life
anyway today is a saturday... well its sunday morning at 5am but im riddled with anxiety and cant sleep so :,) im trying to keep my thoughts busy. i work again tomorrow, only six hours which is usual for me, but its fucking -50⁰ where i live rn and I REALLY dont wanna force myself out of bed..... ugh
but ive been really good at never skipping work unless im throwing up all over the place so :,) speaking of that, i just got done being sick with the flu for the SECOND TIME within two months !!!!! i have a horrid immune system.. most of the time when im sick i spend hours rotting away in my bed and on the bathroom floor... these two times were no different
i genuinely was up at like 5am unable to sleep sobbing in my bed because it hurt so much !!! i gen wanted to die lmfao i hate being sick
but its whatever... at least i got to talk to 🍀 while i was high on meds and a 39.8⁰ fever... i said some funny shit but he just entertained me... i love looking back at our messsages.. he really seems to care for me.... crazy
neway yes saturday.. today.. what did i do- well i had work. i was stressing the entire day over being able to get my hw done for uni classes on time but then i just.. decided not to work on it at all. idk.. work was okay. i love working. even though its a a gross fast food restaurant with shady people coming and making a mess 24/7. all that bad cancels out when it comes to my cowokers. ive had so... so so so many people ive loved at this job. people ive loved more than i should and who have left me (WHATS NEW) BUTTT thats a story for another day
well anyway i got to see one of my besties who is always talking about her boy troubles ... i think everyone still thinks im a lesbian there since im not out to them as trans and have a gf 🙃 its kinda funny.. especially with all my male coworkers
who can just goof off and be close to me without the added stress of thinking its going to go anywhere (for the two of us).
wow this is already becoming so long shksjjsskjslk i have a feeling each post is gonna be like this... just a ramble about my life
anyway. i went home and immediately one of my headmates made himself know... his names nikki and hes... newish? hes been around since august 2023 but just recently showed himself. well we played sky together for a while, just the two of us. i sorta.. soft called out 🍀 on my discord status saying something like "chill cr w/ nikki!! anyone can join!" hoping theyd join my game LOL
well it was a call out to any one of my sky friends on disc (my new friend mochi actually ended up seeing it and we got to talk propery on sky for one of the first times... i was so happy)
i felt bad for 🍀 at first because he couldnt see mochis chat messages while we were having a whole ass conversation with 🍀 piggy on my shoulders... but they added each other a little later and i think the convo went well :)
🍀 's sky friend actually joined us as well.. i dont know her... nor do i really care that 🍀 seemed so close with her (well that was definitely a lie i told myself)
im so jealous LMFAOOOO definitely problems related to being stuck in a toxic friend group for 12 years BUT AGAIN thats a story for another day
anyway i was a bit sad at first because there are just things you cant say in a chat with your queer platonic partner when theres a random who you sort of know but have never personally talked to... so i shut off a bit... nikki tho bless him wtf was like- urging me to stop being so closed off towards sky friends sjhdksjsk especially because this person was really nice and even asked if she could tag along (which i said was fine because i cant say no to anything, no matter how hard i try)
it got better tho, when mochi joined
i really am a horrible person, because i felt i finally had equal grounds on 🍀 by being able to talk to mochi while they couldnt
curse being literally delusionally attached to 🍀 because he is my o n l y true friend !!!
i really am selfish for wanting to have all his attention. i am such a shitty human being
anyway... we went to eden (i lead everyone) and then sat and talked for a bit. being on equal ground with mochi about our interest in skz was super refreshing. its been a while since ive talked to anybody... but i recently joined the sky server and mochi and a few others dmed me
half way through i saw me and 🍀 's mutal friend come online.... ill call him 🌟 on here.... i only recently got to know him because i was online on sky alone and decided to join him.. he was doing quests by himself so i got some 1 on 1 time with him and omg hes so cool
i always have this habit of putting everyone else in an "untouchable" catergory, because everyone compared to me is just so much better. i guess i idolized 🌟 in a way because i never got to talk to him... he was only mutals to me through our sky friend group
anyway after that 1 on 1 i immediately felt so amazing and i wanted to talk to him every chance i get... so after mochi left and he hadnt joined our game (which was suprising because i was with 🍀 and the other person who are close to 🌟 and he likes them a lot better than me so i thought hed join one of them.... but he didnt) so i just went and joined his game immediately
i kinda ditched 🍀 but its whatever, i was still in a bad mood from earlier
i was kinda upset and sad all day so.... i was distant in my head and wasnt talking to anyone.. but that wore off the moment i got the chance to talk to 🍀 again
which was when my dad suprised me with mcdonalds !!! i really felt gross after eating it- and still do- but it helps sometimes. to eat that garbage.. ive always been a binge eater
where the hell even was i
yea i teleported to 🌟 to hang out with him and 🍀 warped to me... i didnt really mind because theyre both super cool and my idols but i got a dry ass greeting from 🌟 wheres as 🍀 got a enthusiastic one !! so yeah immediately i was like aight i see how it is
but 🍀 left to do a cr so i got more 1 on 1 time with 🌟 WHICH WAS SO NICE!! i feel like we are getting closer and closer everyday... anyway he was playing some music and i offered to stay and listen and it was gen so nice... i wanted to fall asleep just listening to him play hehe and after every song id complement him and we'd talk about what hed just played (if it was from a game or a movie) .... and well he seemed gen grateful for the compliments which made me fill up with pride
eventually 🍀 came back but i didnt really mind since i got my 1 on 1 time and i enjoy talking to both of them anyway
we had a nice convo going then 🌟 left
i always feel so prideful when i can make people laugh, even though it might even just be a lol or hahaha
then me and 🍀 had one on one time... which is what brings me to writing this
he mentioned he had a secret tumblr diary. this isnt the first time he mentioned it- back when we met irl he said if i could find it i could read it.... i tried to find it lol but couldnt so i just gave up
i didnt even think about it again until tonight.... i thought about trying to find it again but then i was like- yk what would be a better idea !!! make my own !!
so yeah i got the idea from him... a little secret vent diary place that i hope nobody can find (especially him, but if you do find it, im sorry LOL)
really i kinda wanna go looking for his but.... idk after making my own im just like how fucking awkward would it be for him to find mine and read it 😀😀 LIKE THAT WOULD BE SO BAD
so ive given up again
im gonna wait until he shares it with me.. idk when that'll be, but maybe when he does ill have wrote a lot on here and can share this with him as well
after all, i am kinda crazy. ill tell him every little secret about me if he asked.
i have so much to say but no brain power left. oh well
- ji
(1 / 13/ 2024)
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I really wish I could just get a job I like rather than having to jump on the first offer I get because I need an income
#got a job offer today and im trying to decide if i should take it#on the one hand i havent had a job since i moved and my returned deposit from my last place can only last so long#but on the other hand this wasnt my preferred job i just applied bc ive been applying for pretty much everything#but i dont have a guarantee that ill be able to get a different job quickly so like i should probably take it#and i really hate job hunting#id prefer to do reception or something but i dont have any experience with that so im not getting any responses to my applications#its all call centers and homecare cuz thats what ive done before#but its not what i /want/ to do#am i gonna end up doing housekeeping at a healthcare facility in the middle of a pandemic? probably#at least its by a walmart so i can go shopping on my way home from work easily#tbh i almost didnt do the interview#i felt like absolute shit this morning and snoozed my alarm for three hours#and had mostly convinced myself that it was fine cuz i dont especially want to do housekeeping anyways#and then they decided to do a phone interview instead of an in person one#so 20 minutes before my scheduled time they called me and i figured hey im not even out of bed yet but i guess ill answer#tbh i thought they were gonna tell me the position had been filled already and not to bother coming in#but instead i did the whole interview right then#and i got a job offer#they said theyd call me back on thursday so i can think it over#so ive got two days to decide if i wanna take it or wait for something better#ahhhh adulting is hard
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and inspiration has been crushed by my lovely lovely parents
#connor talks#im still gonna do it im just in a bitch mood#my stepmom is fucking using my mental health against me and it makes me wanna chew glass#but if i say shes wrong she'll be like oh that just the crazy talking :) shut up and listen to the adults#like. i open up about my seasonal depression and she uses that as a tool to get me to do shit for her literally#shes like you know what would be good for you? walking the dogs. yknow so you can get sunlight. but dont do anything else though#going for a walk by yourself would be BAD for your mental health dont do it.#and listen im not a cruel moron i walk my fucking dogs#but this is very clearly just a ploy to get me to do it more so theyre so exhausted they cant bark at the end of the day like they always so#because theyre terribly behaved and i cant do a god damn thing to fix it bc she just goes behind my back and undoes anything#these dogs weigh a collective 440 pounds. im not joking. theyre not well behaved and they pull me until it hurts on walks#ONE dog ALONE weighs more than me let alone two#just like. im so fucking angry theyd have the nerve to do that. they dont give a shit about me at alll#if i said uh no hey actually i started getting more sleep bc of medication and im feeling a lot better!#theyd be like oh youre medication dependent. you need to get off that RIGHT NOW thats very bad. very very bad.#they literally want me to be a depressed slug who does nothing but stay at their beck and call for everything#this is why i never get shit done! they have no respect for me or my work and NEVER have even tho they act like it#oh thank you for screaming in my face and smacking me when i get bad grades. totally made me want to Achieve#totally dont have a complex about it. totally doesnt make my grades worse and my schoolwork a low priority#totally doesnt make me hide any semblance of a personality from you bc at any moment you might tear it apart for me daring to have a spine#i need to move out fucking christ the germanic micromanaging is going to make my hair fall out#like. in theory they leave me alone unless i fuck up. but everythings a fuck up. and if i do something MILDLY different theyll grill me#like fucking for real the reason i stay hidden is because around 11 or so they decided it was weird when i sat in the living room#like. i watched the simpsons on the couch and they were like what the fuck is this. this isnt what you usually do#ARGHG fucking fuck. no respect. literally i know its stupid but im still scared theyd destroy my work if they saw me doing it#they let me get away with a lot now and theyd rather yell at me but like they care so little#i would not at all be fazed if they ruined something because they were pissed off and didnt care enough to watch themselves#may not even be intentional to try and scare me into submission just they absolutely dont care about my possessions#i remember when i was hospitalized i had the absolute GALL to try and grow bell peppers while depressed#so my stepmom chucked them all in the garbage! she stole my pots too. and i dont know how many times theyve killed my catnip
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Haikyu Characters Reacting To Their S/O Screaming Back At Them
Aoba Johsai
Read Part Two Here
kyotani Kentaro
-everyone knows kyotani for his anger and how he doesn’t suck up to people so when they found out he was dating someone they had to assume this someone had the ability to put him in his place and right now that’s just what they needed
“ mad dog-chan you can’t do this not right now“ oikawas voice rang through in annoyance
“ yeah we need you to go in “ iwazumis voice sounded tired as if he was exhausted by trying to convince the boy for the past 5 minutes during their halftime (long timeout)
kyotani grunted as he turned from both of his teammates looking to the wall as he sat on the bench
“ coach seriously — we need him and he’s just on the bench doing nothing “
“ he said he’s tired of you guys only calling him in for 5 minutes and then sitting him back out like an animal— that you use to show off and then send outside when company’s gone “
“ well he’s our secret weapon “ oikawa screamed “ that’s literally what you do “
kyotani grumbled as he rolled his eyes at oikawa who huffed as he moved to turn to the bleachers “ oh forget this he’s not even listening to iwa-chan “
“ well you know what to do flatty-kawa “
“ duh you see i’m doing it iwa-chan”
oikawas hand came up in a wave as he moved to the referee whispering to them as they spoke on the speaker their voices crisp sending a chill through kyotani’s spine
“ we need a y/n l/n to come down to Aoba Johsais Bench — A y/n L/n to come down to Aoba Johsais bench “
you stood up smiling widely as you jumped your way through the crowd voice heaven sent as you screamed “ that’s me “
moving through people talking sweetly “ oops — sorry — sorry have to go take care of a loose hothead—whoops—you should really watch where you place that drink “
you hopped down the stairs waving at the team and the referee as you came to a stop in front of kyotani who was even more mad than he was initially
“ babe whats up why are they calling me down here again “ you sighed “ it’s only happened five other times and I thought we got past it “
“ they say that like it’s nothing “ kindaichis voice came out small as he rubbed the back of his head
“ kyotani “ you called confused usually he would answer you by now and comply and go play for a little while just to make you happy so you could go sit down on the bench to watch his game closely
“ uh somethings wrong iwa-chan “
“ yeah somethings off he’s not responding to her this time “
“ kyo what— “
“ if anything he looks like he’s gonna snap “
oikawa laughed at his comment “ yeah right y/n ‘ s too nice he’d feel horrible if he snapped at ‘em —they’d probably cry he wouldn’t do it “
oikawas face dropped as he heard the loud voice ring out inside the gym “ GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME“
you shuddered at his voice “ your even more fucking annoying than that dumbass over there “
your mouth dropped “ all you do is come down here and bother me everytime and I only go in for you — i’m not doing it this time i’m gonna stand my ground”
he screamed “ they use me for those 5 minutes and then toss me out i’m not doing it — like I said i’m sitting right here on this bench and standing my fucking ground “
your face went up in shock as you felt your body flinch at his voice kyotani and the rest of his team immediately feeling bad at what the whole gym just witnessed everyone listening closely feeling sorry for you
Oikawa moved to glare at kyotani as he walked over to wrap his arms around you “ aw y/n-chan it’s ok to cr— “
“ YOU SCREAM AT ME ONE MORE TIME LIKE THAT AND IM GONNA KNOCK YOUR FUCKING HEAD OFF WITH THE BAT MY DAD WACKS INTRUDERS AT HIS STORE WITH “ your screams came out louder than his as you stared down at the boy in front of you
“ I don’t care if you go out there and wipe the floor down with fucking towels or scrape it clean with a toothbrush but your going out on that court kentaro“
your voice was stern “ you better be glad they even give you 2 seconds on that court you love so much with your shitty attitude —if it was me i’d make you a bench rider the whole season while you watch shittykawa smirk at you everytime he goes up for a set that you won’t get “ your screams catching the whole gym off gaurd
“ so your gonna go out there and stand your fucking ground on that court “ you mocked him hand pointing from him to the court
Kyotani’s body shaking at your tone “ kentaro “ you spoke his name like a curse as he jolted and race to stand in his position on the court head never turning back to look at you again as you continued
“ You will score everytime you go up for that ball — everytime you hit something or come in contact with it— I want a point on that board do you hear me“
“ yes “
“ kentaro “
“ yes ma’am “
you moved to fix your clothes as you stared at everyone in the crowd “ everytime my boyfriends feet leave that ground you better clap your asses off do you hear me “
everyone shook their heads in a yes motion afraid of you and how such a big yell could come from such a small person
You smiled at the team before you took your seat on the bench near the coach who read off all his plans for kyotani that hed never listened to
“ oh trust me we’ll do that plan “ you said as you shook your head ignoring all the whispers from the males around you
“ do they know the game doesn’t start back up again until 5 minutes from now “ mattsukawas voice came out in concern
“ I —uh I don’t think they care “
“ oikawa what’s wrong with you “ iwazumi turned to see oikawas face made up in a frown as he sulked
“ pretty y/n-chan called me your stupid nickname “
oikawa
-oikawa never liked losing especially when it was to someone younger than him someone he didn’t like so you can imagine his anger when he lost to Karasuno
-no one expected the hallway to erupt in his screams so soon
“ tooru what’s wrong “
“ i’m just a little tired y/n i’m ok “
“ no but you — you look angry “
he took a deep breath as he shook his head in annoyance moving to walk off you standing in front of him stopping his exit
“ ok then if I look angry why the fuck would you stand in front of me “
“ because I “
“ because your fucking annoying that’s what it is “
“ tooru”
“ no don’t baby me y/n I don’t need you or anyone else to tell me I played good and I was amazing obviously I wasn’t if your standing here talking to me in a hallway and not in front of me while I celebrate on the court “
“ it’s ok baby — you can still win a volleyball nat— “
he lost his cool as he screamed looking down on you “ WHEN Y/N WHEN HUH “
he screamed harshly “ it’s over — are you fucking stupid there is no next time shitty kageyama took it there’s no next time for me — fuck we’re— we’re third years “
his voice sounded bloody by his screams that sounded throughout the hallway his team coming in to check and see if everything was ok receiving their answer when they turned the corner to you taking over
“ if I knew you were so fucking stupid I wouldn’t have dated you you were probably the bad luck charm that made me lose my shitty gam—“
“ the only thing that made you lose this game was you asshole “
your voice was laced with venom as you shot at him screaming constantly “ you and your shitty need to keep working endlessly maybe if you didn’t have a hurt knee — oh wait howd you get that “
you pretended to think “ oh I know FROM OVERWORKING YOURSELF “
you pushed a finger to his chest “ when I say your gonna make it to a nationals someday your gonna make it to a nationals someday you don’t doubt me is that clear “
his face was in fear as his mouth opened wide in a o form unable to process an answer
“ is that clear tooru oikawa “ you screamed
the team letting out yes’s for him as he moved to look back at them before he turned to you shaking his head like a puppy whod accidentally peed in the house
“ I need words “
“ y-fuck y—yes y/n — baby I mean ma’am — shit I mean yes baby “
you moved to stand straight as you cracked your neck and let a smile play on your face as you turned away from him walking to the entrance of the gym “ ok — babe I meant to tell you i’m gonna go say good game to kageyama- kun you go to the busses and make them wait for me ok “ you waved at him as you opened the door “ love you “
“ they wouldn’t dare leave ‘em “ kyotani’s voice came out in a laugh
“ fuck leaving them — theyd let ‘em drive“ hanamaki joked with mattsukawa who was screaming in laughter
your body entering the gym and walking over to kageyama who straightened up turning to speak to hinata who stood in fear
“ you speak nothing of what we heard to y/n-senpai“
“ y-yes ka-kageyama “
“ kageyama-kun youve grown up so much I love it“ you said holding your arms out to him speaking like he was a baby
“ h-hi y/n-senpai “
“ DID YOU KILL THE GREAT KING “
#kageyama#kags#kags x reader#hinata headcanons#haikyuu hinata#hinata x reader#hinata shōyō#hq hinata#hinata shoyuo#oikawa tooru#oikawa angst#oikawa toru x reader#oikawa imagine#oikawa fic#oikawa headcanons#oikawa x y/n#oikawa scenarios#iwazumi headcanons#iwazumi x reader#iwazumi hajime#iwazumi hcs#iwazumi imagines#iwazumi scenarios#kyotani kentaro#hq kyotani#kyotani x y/n#kyotani headcanons#kyotani drabble#kyotani angst#kyotani kentaro x y/n
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📁❤️ I really like your head canons and wanted to see if you had any about Bakugou’s home life
oh boy okay well, tbh im in camp 'mitsuki and masaru bakugou are assholes' so disclaimer right away: This is not a mitsuki/masaru friendly post.
also, i got most my inspiration/ideas from Sif, her hc's and fics are amazing.
This is gonna be very general probably and also pretty messy/ all over the place but if anyone wants me to elaborate or clarify then just lmk.
ALRIGHT SO, first and foremost, i think the bakugou’s r really neglectful. Theyve always worked very busy jobs together in the fashion industry and they go on lots of work trips and stuff. i think that from the moment they deemed it possible, mitsuki and masaru have been letting katsuki stay home alone for long periods of time. as katsuki kept getting older and more independent (which he had to be) I imagine theyd gradually start leaving for longer and longer.
also, i think that the communication in the house is TERRIBLE. like, often times mitsuki and masaru would just not inform katsuki of their whereabouts and katsuki wouldnt inform them of his either cause,, nobody ever asked/cared. So most of the time katsuki’d just find out his parents are gone whenever theyre literally not there and then its just like, ‘shit, nobody made dinner’. or smth.
and, obviously, the bad communication does not stop there. I feel like especially when he was younger, mitsuki would contradict herself on lots of things (as lots of parents do) like ”you are the child and i am the adult, therefore you must listen to me” but then she’s also like “You are not a child, stop acting like one and get your shit together”. Little katsuki would get so frustrated at this and so confused. I imagine that eventually he’d realize he can never be in the right with her, and thats when he starts resenting her a lot which builds up.
oh btw, I should mention; i dont think katsuki was planned at all. I dont think that mitsuku or masaru wanted to have a kid but then they did and it kinda threw their life around (obviously). mostly for mitsuki i think this effected her career quite heavily for a time and she’s blamed that on katsuki ever since. so she’s always resented him on a level.
But yeah, as i was saying, i think mitsuki and masaru r those types of people that were just never fit to be parents. they dont have the patience or care that u need for a child and it shows. I think masaru is the type to ignore and mitsuki is the type to get frustated too easily and lose her cool. So whenever katsuki was being ‘annoying’ or ‘bad’ he’d immediately be shut up or ignored. No time for explanations or reasoning.
Now, if we go back a step,, katsuki is a super independent kid. a consequence to this is that he’s had to teach himself a lot of things and sometimes those things just arent right. He doesnt know that though because he’s had to collect his knowledge from all over the place, which he thinks is normal. so then for example: maybe he’s fought with a kid at school and the bakugou’s are called. They’re both extremely mad at him but he doesnt understand why. If he gets hit, why would he not be allowed to hit too? Is that not how it works? WOuldn’t that be unfair?
but yeah, because he’s basically had to figure the world out himself, with mostly bad influences to look up to. he’s got a pretty messed up worldview.
Now, i ALSO think that despite mitsuki and masaru not really caring about katuski in general, they DO want to have that ‘we have a good kid’ status, yknow? like, they cant have katsuki embarrassing them or something. I think he’d be dragged along to a lot of places he never wanted to go (dinners, fashion shows, whatever) and forced to wear all fancy clothes and act all neat with no reward. consequences for ‘being a little bitch’ as his mom puts it, are not pretty.
he’s a smart and talented kid too though, and it seems, even to masaru and mitsuki, like he doesnt have to do much for it. which makes them think he’s lazy and stuff and thats not good. so they expect him to work for everything he does at 100% . again, consequences are not pretty.
generally as well, i think there are so many fights in the house. katuski speaks up whenever he disagrees with bullshit and even though he’s never won an argument, he’s always wanted to. so he’s not going to stop.
so yeah, basically theyre strict, neglectful and abusive. There are extreme’s they go to, and because katsuki is just the type to disobey shit he doesnt agree with, those are often used.
It’s been said by Sif before, but i really like the idea that todoroki and bakugou both had bad childhoods but in opposite directions. Thats probably the best way to describe it.
Actually, Ive had a fic in my head for a long time that would partly focus on katsuki’s entire childhood and kinda explain my thoughts on it
But anyway, this is getting ridiculously long and i probably have more i could say plus i can definitely go into more detail. as you can see though, my thoughts are a fucking mess. hopefully this made some sense. again, let me know if u wanna know more! :)
#tw: abuse#tw: neglect#this is a very fanon idea btw#pls dont take anything too srsly#bakugu katsuki#ALSO THANK YOU ANON :))#bakugou mitsuki#bakugu masaru#i coulda probably yeeted the 'katsuki gets kidnapped a lot' hc in there#honestly everybody should just check sifs stuff#her brain is too big#bakugou katsuki headcanons#bnha headcanons#im legitimately not sure if this even makes any sense#im sleepy so
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