Just read about 300k words in about 12 hours, feeling like God this is stroking my ego so badly rn

Zelkov's bond conversations

Yeah, I'm back with more character analysis of my fave. I've cherry picked snippets of the bond conversations that I personally felt were the most interesting and included my thoughts on them.

A Bond: Zelkov: The loss of my family left me with an emptiness that not even *revenge* was able to fill. Marth: I know that loss, and the emptiness that follows it, exceptionally well. Zelkov: Fighting for Princess Ivy gives me *relief.* Thank you for giving me the strength to do so. Marth: No need to thank me. I only hope that your feelings of emptiness end with the war.

This one reiterates some key points from his supports. His emptiness and the fact that fighting for Ivy gives him a sense of purpose.

—— A Bond: Sigurd: My son, Seliph, fought to avenge my death, but our foe considered his own actions to be just. Zelkov: I often wonder if it is the *same* with the man who killed my father. Sigurd: Moral truth is not simple or objective. We each have our own view of what is right and wrong. Zelkov: Your empathy is *humbling.* I see now why they call you the holy knight.

This one is super interesting to me. I believe it’s the only time he specifically mentions his father and you see him here wondering what the man who killed him was thinking. Did he believe that he was right? Were the bandits starving and desperate? My takeaway from this is that Zelkov isn’t sure that his own actions (of killing all the bandits) were just.

—— B Bond: Zelkov: Our training begins now, Roy. It ends only when my body *collapses* from exhaustion. Roy: I like your dedication, but there’s no need to go that far in practice. Taking breaks is important.

He is serious about everything he does. A lot of his more boring bond conversations are the Emblems telling him to take a break.

—— B Bond: Leif: Perhaps you could teach me how to make medicine. It would be useful for me to know. Zelkov: Absolutely not. Making medicine is my *role.* What would I do if you replaced me?

This gives you the impression that he feels like his worth is tied up in how useful he can be.

—— C Bond: Zelkov: You grew up on the open plains, did you not? It must have been *fatally* boring. Lyn: Not at all, actually. Nomads lead exciting lives. There’s always something going on.

With anyone else “fatally boring” would be an exaggeration, but with him you get the feeling that it’s a little too literal… I think the absolute worst torture for Zelkov would be boredom.

—— B Bond: Edelgard: I’m glad you work hard for Princess Ivy’s sake, but be sure to take care of yourself as well. Zelkov: My duty *preoccupies* me. That is all the care I require.

He spends all his time taking care of others (specifically Ivy), not himself which would be why he looks pretty rough. I think it ties into his low self worth.

—— C Bond: Zelkov: You seem to be a *precocious* young Emblem. I look forward to working with you. Tiki: Young? I’m over a thousand years old, you know! B Bond: Zelkov: Behold this soothing *emerald* candle. I crafted it with you in mind. Tiki: Ooo, it’s so pretty! Can we light it right now? A Bond: Zelkov: Old *nightmares* preclude me from proper sleep. I only dare to nap. Tiki: I used to have lots of nightmares too. I was scared to go to sleep alone. Zelkov: Not even the *innocent* are immune to such trauma, it would seem. I am sorry to hear that. Tiki: Don’t be. I’m much better now. With so many friends around, I never worry about bad dreams!

You can see the difference in how he acts with Emblems he considers children. He’s so sweet and empathetic with Tiki (where he can be kind of rude and cold with adults) and even brings her a gift.

—— C Bond Zelkov: You have amassed much power for your age, but do you ever simply *enjoy* your youth? Veronica: I am preparing to rule an empire. I have no time for childish things. B Bond Zelkov: I have heard that you enjoy the *aroma* of a fine black tea. How does this suit you? Veronica: It does smell lovely. You are a man of many talents.

A Bond Zelkov: What do you see, Veronica, when you turn your *mind’s eye* toward the future? Veronica: The future? I struggle to fathom so much as tomorrow. What about you? Zelkov: I seek to become *absorbed* by my pursuits precisely to avoid contemplating such a thing. Veronica: Then let us focus simply on preserving this state of affairs. I am glad to have you with me.

Again you can see him being caring towards someone he sees as a child. He takes an interest in her feelings and again brings a gift.

—— A Bond Zelkov: The thought of *failure* fills me with dread. Do you have any similar fears, I wonder? Camilla: Fear will only find you when you’re alone. That is why companionship is so important. Camilla: Our friends protect us, guide us when we lose our way. I’m happy to do that for you, Zelkov. Zelkov: Your *perspective* on this matter is fascinating. Thank you for the insight… and the kind words.

You see here how he’s a perfectionist. He wants the product of every one of his pursuits to be a masterpiece. And of course any failure in his main duty (protecting Ivy) would be disastrous.

—— A Bond: Zelkov: I have killed many people. So many, in fact, that I sometimes feel *violence* is all I am good for. Corrin: If that were true, you would be a fundamentally bad person. I don’t think that’s the case. Zelkov: Your words are comforting, but I am afraid that is *precisely* the kind of person I am. Corrin: You have your other pursuits, right? You’ve taught me so much about having passion.

He thinks he’s a bad person. In other supports he calls himself a wretch. He disregards all his positive aspects, believing that the only use he has is killing.

I had a dream last night that one of my favorite anime characters (Viktor Nikiforov, from Yuri!!! on Ice) met another one of my favorite anime/manga characters (Sohma Ayame from Fruits Basket) and now I very well may have to write a crossover fanfic.

For one thing, the two of them seem to share some fundamental personality traits (easily excitable, very practiced in masking insecurities), but secondly, I think their meeting and sizing each other up would be so fun to write about. Like, I can totally see a situation where Sohma Yuki and Yuri Plisetsky bond over how extremely irritating they find the collective energy of Ayame and Viktor, together. And Mine and Yuuri would just watch their significant others with fond/exasperated expressions. Plus, I think it'd be hilarious to write about Viktor and Ayame being envious/admiring of the other’s hair care regimen and flair for the dramatic.

But that’s actually not what I intended this post to be about.

This dream got me thinking about the parallels between both shows, so I decided I'd make a 3 point pitch to fans of each to go check out the other, if it’s not already on your radar. I talk about both shows pretty broadly, so I don't believe I'm spoiling anything with this post.

Both pieces of media (I say ‘media’, because I prefer the Fruits Basket manga, even though both the original anime/remake are excellent) get me so in my feels, so I’ll try not to go on forever and ever. That being said, please do read to the end for my two disclaimers.

Reason 1: I think fans of both would agree that a big theme of their canon work is the transformational power of vulnerability. This feeds into the sub-themes of found family, and how the “practice” of letting love into one’s life (because it truly does take practice, despite society making us think it’s easy-breezy) can deeply shift us as people.

At its core, each implements huge characters arcs for their MC's that demonstrate this.

For Yuri!!! on Ice, this applies to Katsuki Yuuri and Viktor Nikiforov -- two professional male figure skaters, the former known as "Japan's Ace" skater, and the latter dubbed a "Living Legend" -- and for Fruits Basket, this applies to higher schoolers Sohma Yuki, Honda Tohru, and Sohma Kyo (though, truly, it could apply to all of the Sohmas). Right off the bat, I'll say that a big difference between yoi and furuba revolves around age. Yuuri and Viktor are adults, while Yuki, Tohru, and Kyo start off as (what seems to be) high school juniors. Yuri!!! on Ice fans, don't let that dissuade you from checking out Fruits Basket, however; its themes are very complex, and will challenge you.

Both media start off with their main characters at low points.

Katsuki Yuuri has just come in last place at his first Grand Prix Final competition: the competition it seems he's been working towards his entire career, and the one where he'd hoped to gain Viktor's attention (as he's looked up to the "Living Legend" since he was just twelve years old).

Similarly, we see that Tohru Honda has recently lost her mother (her father is also dead), and is practically homeless. She is living in a flimsy tent on Sohma Shigure's property. While Yuuri decides to leave the United States to move back home to Japan, and is contemplating retiring from figure skating altogether, Tohru is taken in by Shigure and Yuki in exchange for helping out with chores around their house.

In yoi, the plot moves along when we see Viktor -- who has just won his 5th World Championship title -- decide to drop everything and move to Japan to be Yuuri's coach, after seeing a viral video of him skating to one of his routines. And in furuba, the plot moves along as we watch Tohru meet more of the Sohmas, and learn about the big secret plaguing their family.

Canon shows us that while Katsuki Yuuri has a lot of love/support in his life prior to Viktor’s arrival in his hometown (his parents, his ballet teacher, etc), his own anxiety/insecurities makes it so that he struggles to realize the love around him. He has a hard time seeking out comfort or opening up to people when navigating hardships. But this fundamentally shifts with Viktor’s role in becoming his figure skating coach (and, eventually, romantic partner).

I would be remiss if I didn't make a content warning, here. Generational trauma and neglect are big themes in Fruits Basket.

In Fruits Basket, the zodiac "curse" -- a generational Sohma family trait that makes physical contact between its members and those of the opposite sex challenging, as touching leads each Sohma member to turn into its zodiac animal (i.e. Yuki turns into the rat, Kyo turns into the cat, etc.) -- as well as Sohma Akito's cruelty has made it so that Yuki and Kyo have been brainwashed into believing they are burdens...that they are unlovable, with no redeeming value, even in the eyes of their own family members.

But the presence of Tohru in their lives (and her ripple effect of positivity that completely upends the curse dynamic) causes Yuki and Kyo to unlearn these entrenched beliefs, and to realize that they have always, inherently, been worthy of love *brb sobbing*

While the idea of cute zodiac animals might lead one to think the manga/show is this cotton-candy fluff ride, there is a lot of heaviness that I personally found super compelling, and a reason that ppl who don't typically like content featuring high schoolers might make an exception for it.

Now, of course, Yuri!!! on Ice has its own heavy themes: navigating anxiety as well as feelings of apathy/depression, and while it's not canon, the lack of detail on Viktor's backstory has led many in the fandom to develop headcanons around possible strained family relationships/trauma history. Because it's something I actually have been wondering about, I thought I'd make a poll.

Reason 2: Both are very funny, with compelling romantic development.

Regarding the former, I found myself laughing out loud while reading/watching. I think a huge part of the reason has to do with the 'tsundere' archetype that Yuri Plisetsky (another figure skater) embodies in yoi, and that Sohma Kyo embodies in Fruits Basket. These grouchy characters are hilarious and lovable, and the audience enjoys seeing their energy play off of contrasting personality types.

Reason 3: It's more obvious off-the-bat in Yuri!!! on Ice, but the element of surprise is used to great effect in both. While there are tons of examples I could give, I'll say that each contains a fundamental "twist" that really makes you reconceptualize your entire understanding of the storyline/character relationships. I know that's not a lot to go off of, but each major surprise really shifted my perception of the pre-conceived power dynamics that we are led to believe exist in each.

It's no secret that Yuri Plisetsky is actually a big fan of Katsuki Yuuri, but his teenage pride won't allow him to admit this. Seeing Yuri adamantly insist that he thinks Yuuri is a loser, and just generally being aggravated by Viktor's extraness is pretty comical. Similarly, Kyo is quite prickly, and it's clear that Tohru Honda's diametrically opposed nature (i.e. she is warm and caring, to a fault) throws him for a loop. Seeing him flustered by it is hilarious.

I won't say any more about the romance development b/c I don't want to spoil anything in Fruits Basket, but suffice it to say that both media have plenty of "awww" moments that will have you swooning as characters open up to one another.

Disclaimers:

1) I think it's unfair to compare these pieces of media solely based on the amount of canon content around them.

Yuri!!! on Ice is an original anime, and (thus far) only has 1 season of 12 episodes (whyyyyy MAPPA?! I like Attack on Titan as much as the next person but please, I beg, give us season 2!). On the other hand, Fruits Basket has an original anime, plus a remake, and was a manga that went on for years. Thus, you will likely think the characterization/plot development is much richer. But, one thing I absolutely adore about the yoi fandom is how much fan-created content exists. Like, years after the show came out (in late 2016), there are still ppl actively writing fic (like me! I discovered it in 2020 but only started writing last year), making fanart, etc.

2) Another note about comparison that is pretty important:

Because of the overtness of certain elements in Fruits Basket (i.e. two very clear kisses happen, and we also see follow-up content that was released that shows a marriage take place in the future, etc.), fans might watch Yuri!!! on Ice and be disappointment with what they might characterize as understated romance between Yuuri and Viktor. But I think it's important to note how revolutionary the show was for portraying a queer romance between its main characters, especially in a show that was never marketed as a yaoi (boys' love) series. Despite several obvious indicators of the romantic nature of Yuuri and Viktor's relationship, there are still ppl that will argue that these two were merely coach/skater, and nothing more, and I just...don't even know where to begin in addressing that without dropping spoilers. If you're that curious, go to my AMA feature and drop me a question and I will happily write you a novel of a response.

Alright, that's mostly it...if you've gotten this far, thank you so much for reading! If you do end up checking out one or other, I hope you'll let me know what you think.

The very last thing I'll say is that I've only written fanfic for Yuri!!! on Ice (all post-canon, I've linked my Ao3 Dashboard), but I've been ideating around some Fruits Basket ideas, so may give it a whirl in the coming weeks. With every fiber of my being, I wish that I had artistic ability so that I could make fanart of Ayame and Viktor meeting...one can dream lol

Obey Me! Brothers React: Baby?!?

This is a VERY old request that I actually found I had when scrolling through my blog lol

I liked it so much so I did the thing. It also gives some fluff between all the sin I have in my WIPs 

Enjoy~

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

Lucifer:

Probably the calmest out of the bunch

“Are you okay?” “I’m prepared to take responsibility and make sure you’re happy.”

Makes sure you have your doctor appointments and goes with you

Very attentive to your needs

Over all he is pretty organized and prepared . . . on the outside

On the inside he’s a bit of a hoverer, but never too obvious. Just kinda stands to the side and observes,”just in case” you are carrying precious cargo afterall

Also he won't say it outloud but seeing your growing belly makes his pride shine the most and very territorial of you more than usual You are his and everyone will know

Kinda low-key didn’t not-not try to impregnate you but you didn’t hear that from me…

You and lucifer ended up having a Baby Boy Great another boy in the house

“Am I just destined to be surrounded by boys my whole life?” “I can always try to give you a girl. Just tell me when.” 😉

Yeah you’ll probably wait a year or two to actually plain for another baby, that is if Lucifer doesn’t “if it happens it happens”you again and BOOM baby #2 smh

Not as strict as one may think when thinking of Lucifer’s parenting style

Mammon definitely has something to say about that 

Does like to try and keep to a daily schedule of when they not just eat and sleep but also scheduled play and study time when they get to that age

Mammon:

He may need an ambulance

JK but he is a bit of a nervous wreck

Wait till he finds how birth works

But after the initial shock he is still worried about you

Maybe a bit overbearing

“Mammon, I can walk! I’m pregnant, not crippled.” “What? I can’t carry you around for no reason now?”

You end up having a Baby Girl

Cue panic mode!

Must protect baby girl at all costs Daddy mode engaged!

“My Love, you don’t have to watch her all night. She’ll be fine.” “I don’t know that!”

That dad that gets upsetty spaghetti if a “snot-nosed brat” messes with his perfect daughter on the playground

Leviathan:

Levi.exe has stopped working

Try turning off and turning on and try again later

Wasn’t ready for you to say it

I mean sure you guys do do the do, bUt hOw?!?!?

“Can we go back?” “Levi this isn’t a video game level.”

Don’t get him wrong he’s not mad just scared!

He’ll get into it after he has time to process it 

“I guess it would be nice to have another player when your busy.”

Started “practicing” with a life simulator game

You and Levi had a baby boy!

Games galore! 

When your little boy is still a baby obviously he can’t play video games with Levi but Levi has surprisingly really liked playing peek-a-boo

You do find Levi with your son on his chest as he plays video games most of the time when he’s watching him 

Satan:

Is about tied with Lucifer on the calm factor

Actually knew before you told him

“How the heck did you know, I just told you.” “Your period was late.”

Read all the books he can find on parenting and newborns in both humans and demons

You kinda wished he didn’t read so much because it went from ‘just wanting to cover all bases’ to being a bit of a worry wart and always “helping” you and “informing” you

Can you say Papa Bear!!! VERY protective!!!

Will damn near bite someone's head off if they bump into you especially w/o apologizing

Reads and/or plays music for the baby every night

“They say they can start to hear and recognize things in the womb at about 18-24 weeks. I have so many books I’d want to show them so might as well start early.”

Finds himself talking to and kississing your belly when your asleep late at night

“I promise I’m gonna make sure I’m the best Dad for you!”

Does touch your belly though everytime he kisses you

You and Satan had a Baby Girl

Truely a Daddy’s girl! She definitely has him wrapped around her little finger

He denies it but it’s true lol

Checks under the bed for “the scaries” every time she asks 

“You know Daddy will always protect you!”

Obviously the one to teach her to read and write. Making sure they get at least 30 mins of reading time together where they take turns

You’ve walking into the library many times to see Satan laying on the couch with your daughter on his chest, both asleep

At some point he finally admitted to you that he’s scared to “let her go”

He wants his baby girl to be his baby forever but he knows sadly she has to grow up but he hopes that when that happens they still have their book discussions and reading time together

It’s how he bonds with her the most.

Okay. Okay. I’ll stop cuz we should know I love Daddy Satan so I’ll stop before i get out of hand lol

Asmodeus:

OMG A NEW DOLL TO DRESS UP!!!

Ok but really he is excited

“With my charm and your cuteness, this child is gonna be the most sought after person in devildom.”

The day you told him he started preparing their room. Filling the room with bins of stuffed animals and toys

And clothes. Lots and lots of clothes.

“Asmo we don’t even know the gender yet.” “That’s ok! What ever we don’t use I guess we’ll just have to make another for those.”

He is gonna be in for a rude awakening literally when the baby comes

Say goodbye to your beauty sleep Asmo 

You and Asmo had a Baby Girl

When he found out you were having a girl, demon lord help this new doll baby

Dress up everyday 

Loves parading her around in his arms or the stroller

“Excuse me, Princess coming through!” 

Beelzebub:

Telling him you were pregnant made him really happy!!!

“I wouldn’t want to do this with anyone else.” “You’ll be the best mother.”

Of course he was nervous but he had you and you always knew how to make him feel better

And when the stress of the actual baby came up he just focused on what he did know

Snacks. Snacks. & more Snacks!!!

Your pregnancy cravings were arguably the easiest part of your pregnancy for him because he was always down to go get them for you it also gave him an excuse to get more snacks for himself too and he got to try all your favorite snacks and weird concoctions you’d want.

You and Beel had surprise, surprise. Twins!!!! Fraternal Twins to be exact, a boy and a girl

One baby was scary enough but, multiply it by two!?!? Oh nelly.

But Beel really has a way to calm you.

Divide and conquer is your modo

He’ll bathe and clothe them and you feed them Beel has helped with the feeding but somehow the food seems to disappear rather fast and the rest you share and tag in and out of

Belphegor:

Baby?!?!?

I’m sorry. He must have heard you wrong.

Maybe he is still asleep and this is a dream

But nope. It’s not! You are tellin his face that he had accidentally put a … baby… inside you…

“Are you really pregnant?” “Yup” “I’m telling you right now I’m getting rid of it if it interferes with my sleep.”

Yeah… that didn’t happen :)

He lost sleep, yes. But although annoyed he was even shocked with how attached?!? He was to the child

Oh you had a boy!

You thanked the heavens for not “gifting” you with twins

A plus is your little boy takes after his father when it comes to sleep

Altho he’s still a baby so restless nights are still very much in your future 

Belphie gifted him his very own special pillow :3 He was sick of his kid stealing/hogging his

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

I kinda went into them as parents bit oops  I got too excited lol

Maybe I can do more Daddy AUs in the future if that’d interest anyone.

I hope you enjoyed reading this, I really liked writing it.  I can’t be the only one obviously that really likes Daddy AUs :3

I love the fluff and I hope you do too :D

~ Undateables Reactions ~

💛 ~

God I love your blog I spent all day just looking at it and I’m like yes more Omori brain worms

Also, what do you think the Omori gang’s jobs would be when they’re adults? I kinda meta’d and thought Sunny would be a little comic book artist with the character Omoriboy but I’m curious on your thoughts

Awww thank you! Also you have given me the perfect excuse to show off my happiest AU aka the ‘everyone stays in town together, and lowkey they all live at Hero’s house’  I have a lot of different ideas for what they could end up being, so if this isn’t your cup of tea it’s not my firm canon haha! I actually do have an artist sunny series which would probably be up your alley if you were interested in hearing about that too! Alsooooo this got long again it’s under a read more. I’m calling it Come Home series and I really like it if you guys are interested in hearing more 0-0 I only talk about Basil Sunny and Kel here haha because it got long long, but there’s defintiely another part coming to this if you guys want it! 

Basil starts going back to school post-canon, and he ends up doing pretty good for his last two years, but it’s still a struggle considering he missed so much school over the last four years. The idea of going to college is particularly stressful to him, so Polly doesn’t push it on him. She didn’t end up finishing college, and she turned out alright. 

Polly does want Basil to be thinking about his future though, and so she encourages him to find something related to what he’s passionate about. Which leads to Basil working part time at Fix-It in the gardening section. 

He quickly branches out of just gardening, although that is still his favorite. There’s something deeply gratifying about seeing what he’s created with his own two hands, and having people ask for his help only with simple things he can fix for them. 

Basil starts up a deep mentoring relationship with the couple who owns  Fix-It. They like to hear his passionate rambles about the flowers, and they like the ideas he has. Basil starts to lead flower arrangement classes, and they end up being a big hit. 

When he’s in the spring of his senior year, they ask him about his plans. When they find out he isn’t really all that interested in college, they ask if he could come on full time, and maybe even apprentice. They have a son of their own, but he is a lawyer and has no interest in the shop. Basil is excited by this, and he almost immediately agrees. 

There’s a lot more to running the shop then he thought, but he loves it. He’s content just to be the manager for now, but the couple has assured him that within the next five years they plan to retire and the shop will be his for good.

Kel does end up getting a scholarship for basketball. It’s to a good school (not quite Hero’s level, but better than his parents expected). It’s a big state school compared to Hero’s tiny private, but his parents are happy and they have a winning basketball team. The problem is that Kel has no idea what he would want to do. 

He had some ideas, but I think that learning the truth really affected him. He had thought he wanted to be a basketball star, or something to do with the sports industry, but that all feels so juvenile now. Now Kel wants to do something real and good. He wants to work with people, but he isn’t sure what that might mean. 

Kel goes to school as an undecided major, and they stick him in a bunch of different types of classes. Most of them are painfully boring, hard, and he just isn’t interested. He briefly considers dropping out, but he knows how disappointed his mom and dad would be. They didn’t get the opportunity to get a college degree, so it kind of feels like slapping them in the face if he gave back all the money he got just because he didn’t have any passion. 

There is one class that Kel really enjoys. The class is called Child’s Play and it’s a psychology course. Specifically a class on the influence of play children’s lives. It’s still hard for him, and he struggles to fully comprehend the material, but it’s something he’s passionate about. 

He talks with his advisor about it, and the man suggests combining all of the things he’s been passionate about so far. He wants to do good for other people, he is interested in sports, and he liked learning about how children work. His advisor puts him in an education couse and a few physical health courses, and Kel enters his sophomore year with a physical education major. 

Kel doesn’t graduate with honors like Hero, but he does graduate with a plan. He does his student teaching at Faraway High, his connections with his coach and the school helping to grease the wheels. (It doesn’t hurt that he’s living with Sunny by this point, and Sunny got a job offer in Faraway that he’s going to accept...but more on that later)

They offer him a tentative position at the end of the year, and he accepts it. He also takes on the basketball team, and they win the playoffs for the first time since he graduated, which cinches his job in tight.

Sunny also doesn’t end up going to college. Not only did he not have the grades, it just wasn’t something he thought he would be very good at. He doesn’t really have a plan, just that he wants to still be by his friends. Hero is far from them now, and Aubrey is planning on going away too, but Basil and Kel are staying close by

He ends up talking to Kel about it late one night, and Kel proposes a great idea. They’ll get an apartment together off campus instead of him living in the dorms, and Sunny can figure his life out while Kel gets a friend and study partner. 

Sunny’s mother is very happy with this idea, and Kel’s parents are satisfied that he won’t be off partying every night if he has Sunny with him, so they agree as well. What Sunny’s mother isn’t excited about is the idea of her baby not getting any degree or anything. So she makes a compromise. She and Sunny will find a good trade school near Kel’s college, and Sunny will take classes in something he enjoys

She assumes he will pick art classes or something that she knows he likes, but Sunny surprisingly picks veterinary certification. It feels out of left field, but if it makes Sunny happy and he’s going to go to his internships and his classes then so be it. 

Sunny is never top of the class, but he is serious about doing well. There are aspects of the job that he does not do well with, but he manages. He gets his vet tech certification and finds a starting position near where he lives with Kel

Living with Kel is a breath of fresh air. It feels good to have a partner in life who doesn’t expect him to talk or to act like everyone else. Kel is a master at reading Sunny, and it’s a bone deep relaxation to not have to try and express himself. Most of the time Sunny can just listen and let Kel talk to him. They work well with chores and food and generally everything. Every day feels like a sleepover honestly, and Sunny starts to smile a bit more and reach just a little father out of his comfort zone. 

Kel loves living with Sunny. Every night they get to just spend time together and enjoy each others presence, and sometimes Basil will come up and they all get to eat dinner together in their little shoebox apartment. One of their windowsills is full of plants that Basil has brought them. 

At the end of their four years Kel knows that he wants to go back to Faraway to work. He has been commuting there for student teaching, and while it’s only an hour, it’s still pretty far. The problem is that he can’t imagine leaving Sunny alone. Not after four years of them being together every single day. Then Sunny reveals that he found a job in the town next to Faraway that he wants to take. He doesn’t want to leave Kel though, and he’s not sure what to do. 

They have a long conversation that night, and they both agree that they want to stay together. It’s been an unspoken thing, but neither of them ended up having any long term partner in the last four years. They don’t have romantic feelings for one another, but they want to continue what they have. It’s safe, it’s lovely, and they feel secure in their bond. Whatever happens they want to decide as a team, as a partnership. 

With Kel and Sunny both coming back to Faraway they assume that they’re going to have to try and find a place to live closer. They’re going to stay with Kel’s parents until they do, but Basil has a better idea. 

Polly loves Basil a lot. She has adored getting to raise him and helping him and guiding him the last six years. But now her quiet sweet boy is a grown man, and his parents stopped paying her for caring for him over a year ago. She knows that the best thing to do would be to detach herself and to let him continue to grow without her constant presence. 

Basil isn’t sure he’s ready to be all by himself, and when he finds out Kel and Sunny are coming back to Faraway, he offers to let them stay at his house. It might be a bit cramped all three of them, and they don’t have to, but it could be nice. They say yes before he can even begin to second guess himself

So as bright and bushy 21/22 year olds, Kel, Basil, and Sunny all have Come Home. 

What if Locke snuck into Madoc’s bedroom instead of Taryn’s

Locke felt a chill running down his spine. After all sneaking into Grand General’s stronghold without getting caught is no mean feat! Stars flickered, the sweet scent of roses was floating in the air. The breeze was as warm and moist as sin. That night the boy turn into a brave knight from a ballad, a fearless knight going to save a fair maiden from the clutches of a genuine monster. Locke was definitely no fighter, so instead of sword he wielded just a beautiful lyre. Wasn’t it a weapon enough to conquer the girl’s heart and pluck the red flower of her virginity?

The lad looked up and grinned, noticing the balcony door was open. Locke climbed a blooming apple tree, hopped on the balcony and snuck into the spacious bedroom. Liriope’s son raised his brows, pretty surprised with severity of the chamber he found himself in. How could ladylike, gentle Taryn live in this cell, lacking in any decorations, except from banners and two sabers on the wall? There were a very few pieces furniture in the chamber – only a carved wooden closet, a bedside table, a massive mahogany desk and a chair that looked pretty uncomfortable. In the middle of the room there was, four-poster canopy bed. Locke looked again at the crossed sabers. It isn’t Taryn’s room! – He realized. It’s Jude’s! He couldn’t have committed  a luckiest mistake! The boy smiled to himself, took the lyre off his back and sat on a wooden chair. Yes, it actually was extremely uncomfortable. That was Jude all over! Beautiful, full-figured Jude, anxious to become a knight and willing to get used to harsh conditions.  Locke looked at the bed with amused indulgence. He wouldn’t have guessed dainty Jude snores so loudly. Liriope’s son uttered a mirthful laughter then hit the strings with his fingertips and began to sing.

Oh lady fair, daughter of clay

I came to wash your tears away

A slave enthralled with your bright eyes

Effulgent lips and well – shaped thighs.

I came to sweeten this lonely night

Aching to hear your lovesome sighs

Leaving behind all of my shame

I came to taste you, oh my flame.

The canopy billowed, Locke shivered with excitement. Just a little while and he’ll have one of Grand General’s precious daughters in his arms. The boy was glad that instead adorable mellow Taryn he would taste fierce, hard-hitting Jude, as tart as sour cherries. What a lucky mistake – Locke thought once again. He couldn’t have been more wrong!

From behind the curtains emerged a tall man of sturdy arms and tousled fair hair. His gaping nightshirt revealed countless scars on his broad chest, his golden, split-pupiled eyes were glinting like the sharpest of blades.

“Are you fuckin’ crazy?” – Madoc yelled, getting right up to Locke in a single bond. The boy tried to draw back,  making the Grand General even more furious. At the drop of a hat Madoc whipped Locke’s beautiful lyre off the boy’s hands. “How dare you break into my house in the middle of the night willing to solicit me, you pervy little shit!” – The redcap growled, taking a swipe. Locke sprang back, spun around and make a step towards the window. The Grand General followed him. “Have you no shame? I am married!” – Madoc exclaimed, “Married! Married!” – He gnarred, swinging the lyre as hard as he could. Locke, startled and panicked, apparently had stumbled the way to get out of Grand General’s bedroom. “Married!” – the redcap cried out, “And the fact that my lawful wedded wife went to see her mother does not entitle you to seducing, I mean harassing me!” This time Locke failed to avoid Madoc’s strike, the lyre hit his head with a thud.

“I’ll teach you a lesson you’ll never forget, you no good layabout!”- He exclaimed, hitting Locke again and again. “I swear, you’d never feel like breaking into decent people’s abodes and molesting the master of a house again!”

“Have mercy, Lord Grand General, Have mercy!” – the boy squeaked. “Trust me, forcing myself on you was the last thing I wanted! I came to visit your daughter Taryn!” Madoc froze, as though he was  stricken lifeless with a thunderbolt. Taking this opportunity, Locke  dived through the window and scampered off into the night. The Grand General sighed and picked up a sheet of paper that had fallen out of the boy’s pocket. To his displeasure, Madoc recognized his seal and Taryn’s handwriting.

“You have a son, you watch the son. You have a daughter, you watch the entire neighborhood”, - the redcap sighted and headed forward Taryn’s bedroom. It was with a heavy heart that the Grand General knocked at the door.

“Give me a second, I’m coming,” – the redcap  heard his girl’s sweet voice. Thank gods you’re not, -Madoc thought, not without malice. After a while Taryn, flushed and wrapped in her far-too-fancy dressing-gown, showed up at the door. She looked every inch a demure young lady, yet the Grand General was not that easy to deceive, at least not after he had heard Locke’s stupid, dirty song.

“What’s the matter, Dad?” – Taryn asked, innocently fluttering her eyelashes. The Grand General said nothing, just showed his daughter the letter.

“You have understand, Dad, that I am not a little girl anymore. And I can’t help I’m pretty popular with boys,” – She chirped.

“Yes, I agree, you aren’t a baby girl anymore, so you must be aware you put your good reputation at risk. You can also guess your mother and I don’t want our daughters to become an object of either derisions or malicious gossip. You ought to leave the Isles of Elysium for some time, I mean until the rumors die down,” – Madoc said matter-of-factly. To his delight the mortal humbly hung her head in shame. Corners of his mouth curled in a smile – it seemed like Taryn, essentially a good girl, realized her mistake, but the truth was the young woman lowered her gaze so that her father wouldn’t see immense relief written across her face. A trip to a foreign court? Is it actually a punishment?  - She though, surprised. He’ll probably send me to the Court of Termites, where I will be dancing at revels, dally with fairy knights, and most of all, Jude is not going to spoil my fun.

“Where am I supposed to go, Father,” – She asked with anticipation, hoping Madoc won’t hear happiness in her voice.

“Can't believe you’ve actually asked me this question, Taryn,” – the Grand General raised his eyebrows, “Of course you will head over to the Court of Teeth where your aunt will start teaching you the military arts and battle strategies. Admittedly Grima Mog doesn’t agree with many of my views, but she’ll certainly help you get this Locke boy out of your head and in your spare time, she’ll teach you how to cook.”

“Say what?” – Taryn exclaimed. “Anything, please, anything but that!”- She cried out.

“It’s already settled, my girl. Tomorrow you’ll pack up and go to the north. Off to bed, you need to get some sleep now,” – He said crisply and departed with the feeling of a well-completed duty.

Marinette Dupain-Cheng’s Spite Playlist: Remix CH5

Aaaand it’s finally time. Surprise! Work has been kicking my butt the past couple weeks, so I’ve been really tired and writing has been slow. But we are still plenty ahead of schedule on this project, so don’t worry your pretty little heads! You’ll still get a chapter every Friday! We’re getting closer to the big shifts. Only a couple more chapters until the real fun begins >:)

------------------------

Previous   First   Next   AO3

Chapter 5: when the party’s over

“Good morning, sweetie.”

“Morning, Mom.” Marinette made her way down the stairs, carrying her boots in one hand. She yawned and stooped to kiss her mother’s cheek.

“How was the concert? Did you all have a good time?” her mom asked.

“I had an amazing time! We got to stand backstage for the whole performance, and you’re not gonna believe it! I fixed Jagged's jacket, and to thank me, he invited me to sing a song with him!” Marinette relayed as she grabbed a banana from the fruit bowl.

“Oh, how exciting!” her mom said. “I always knew you would do something amazing.”

“If Eliott hadn't suggested that I ask for tickets, Jagged would have canceled the show. It was really lucky that I was there,” Marinette said, ripping the peel.

“So, I take it everything is going well at your new school?” Her mom took a seat across from her.

“Yeah. I'm making new friends, and I helped someone with their bully,” Marinette answered around a bite.

“Are you happy?”

Marinette slowed her chewing as she mulled over an answer, and sensing her hesitance, her mom placed a hand over hers.

“I know there are things you don't tell me, but I can tell when you're upset,” she said. “You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to. All I care about is that you're happy.”

“It's just that…” She took a deep breath before spilling everything. Following Lila and Adrien, the situation with seats, Lila's threats in the bathroom, Alya's akumatization.

Everything.

Once she started, she couldn't stop. Words tumbled from her mouth in a rapid current until hot tears spilled down her cheeks. Her mother moved to hold her, rubbing her back and kissing her hair.

“When you said you wanted to transfer to this new school to focus on your talents, I had no idea you were leaving behind so much,” her mom said. “You've been carrying all of that weight for so long.”

“I didn't know what else to do,” Marinette whimpered. She sniffled against her mother's shoulder.

“Look at me.” Her mom lifted her chin. “You do so much for other people, and that’s wonderful. But I think it's time that you focus on what makes you happy.”

That was the understatement of the century, but Marinette wasn't going to say as much.

“Your father and I raised you to always help others when you can, but we never wanted it to be at the expense of your own happiness. Sometimes it's okay to do what's best for yourself, and I think that changing schools was a smart decision.” She brushed a tear from Marinette's cheek with her thumb. “I know you're hurting now, and if you ever need anything, Papa and I are always here for you.”

“Thanks, Mama,” Marinette said.

She hugged her mother tightly, her worries washing down her face in thin streaks. For once, she wasn't a superhero with the weight of the world on her shoulders—she was a young girl, abandoned and hurt by the people she once trusted. There wasn’t a clever solution to fix everything. No lucky charm to get her out of a messy situation. It was the hardest lesson she'd ever learned. That sometimes there was no magic to reset everything. Some wounds didn't heal, and some bonds stayed broken.

For the first time since she became Ladybug, Marinette didn't have to carry anyone's burdens but her own. For once, she could just cry.

♪♫♪ When I’m Gone ♪♫♪

“Well, class, by an overwhelming majority, I’m happy to announce Lila as our new class representative!” Mlle. Bustier said.

“Mlle. Bustier, I would like a recount!” Chloe demanded.

“You only had two votes, Chloe. I don’t think a recount is necessary.” She gave her a sympathetic smile.

“What? That’s ridiculous! Utterly ridiculous!” Chloe folded her arms over her chest.

“Can you blame us?” Alya asked.

“Yeah, Lila is way cooler than you.” Alix shot back, a sentiment echoed by several others.

Chloe slouched in her seat, seething. “Well, at least Sabrina recognizes my natural leadership,” she said, but her bff averted her gaze. “Don’t tell me you voted for her too?”

“Sorry, Chloe.” Sabrina shrank when Chloe gasped in disbelief.

“Are my ears deceiving me? How dare you!” Chloe slammed her fist on the desk as the whole class erupted into laughter.

“Wow, even Sabrina is tired of you,” Nathaniel said.

Chloe’s jaw clenched, cheeks burning angry and hot. Even the shrimpy comic book nerd was laughing at her. What had the world come to?

“I don’t want to cause any trouble, but I did win fair and square, Chloe. I hope you aren’t too mad at me.” Lila curled her shoulders. “The last thing I want to do is make another enemy like I did with Marinette. I just want to do my best to make your lives as easy as possible here.”

“See? Now that’s natural leadership.” Alya smirked.

“You’re all so lame. I wouldn’t want your votes anyway.” Chloe glared at Lila as class resumed and clicked her stylus pen. Lila wasn’t some nobody like Marinette. She was going to be harder to push around. Regardless, if there was something Chloe wanted, she always got it.

♪♫♪ I Don’t Care ♪♫♪

“Congrats on winning class representative,” Alya said at the next class change. “I can go over all of your duties with you this afternoon if you want. Marinette and I used to discuss things over ice cream.”

Lila suppressed an eye roll. The sooner Alya stopped talking about that brat, the better. Things were working out in Lila’s favor already now that she was gone. Pretty soon she’d own this school, and no one would even remember Marinette’s name.

“Actually, I’m recovering from tonsilitis, so my doctor said I’m not allowed to eat any dairy.” Lila touched her throat delicately. “Besides, you and I should pick our own rituals and forget about Marinette.”

“True, I guess.” Alya pursed her lips, and Lila placed a hand on her shoulder.

“I know it’s hard to move on, but honestly, Marinette is nobody,” Lila said. “Though not many people can say they saved an entire village from a stampede, so I guess I shouldn’t be one to judge.”

“Not all of us can be so amazing.” Alya chuckled good-naturedly. “I guess part of me just wishes that Marinette could have gotten to know you and seen how cool you are.”

“Her loss.” Lila shrugged as they entered the locker room.

“Did you see-”

“Is that for real?”

“No way!”

“What’s going on?” Alya asked Adrien and Nino.

“Marinette sang with Jagged Stone last night at his concert here in Paris.” Nino explained, tilting his phone toward them.

“What?” Lila snatched it from him.

“Miraculous, yeah I got this! I gotta confess I feel so strong!”

“She asked him for tickets yesterday on Instagram, and he gave her backstage passes,” Mylène said.

“She looks so happy and confident,” Rose cooed.

“Wouldn’t you be if you got to sing with Jagged Stone on stage?” Alix said.

“I miss her.” Rose slumped, and several classmates followed suit.

“Yeah, me too,” Max echoed.

“Hey, Lila, since you’re such good friends with Jagged Stone, do you think you could get us tickets to his next show?” Kim asked.

Every eye turned to her expectantly, and her annoyance flared. Of course Marinette wouldn’t go quietly. That stupid brat was causing her problems even after she was gone. Lila wasn’t worried though. This situation just needed a little precision…

“Well, I would love to, but celebrities like Jagged really don’t like to give stuff away for free. It’s kind of taboo to even ask. I’m sure Jagged only complied this time because he wanted to save face. He cares about his fans so much, but it’s actually very rude to ask someone for special treatment,” Lila said. “I feel really bad for Jagged being put on the spot like that. She could have ruined his reputation.”

“Wow, I guess I didn’t realize…” Kim rubbed the back of his neck. “I’d hate to put you in that position.”

“I can’t believe Marinette would do such a thing.” Nathaniel glared down at his phone.

“Yeah, way uncool.”

“Everyone, please don’t make a fuss and blame Marinette. She isn’t used to dealing with celebrities. I’m sure she meant no harm.” Lila assured them. “If only she were still here. I have so much I could teach her.”

“We’re so lucky to have you, Lila,” Nino said. He draped an arm across her shoulders.

“Yeah, thanks, Lila!”

“You’re the best.”

Lila smiled as the bell rang, and everyone shuffled off to class. Marinette wasn’t going to get ahead so easily. Everyone was still exactly where Lila wanted them, and she’d make sure it stayed that way.

♪♫♪ Primadonna ♪♫♪

Later that afternoon, the girls gathered in the bathroom to comfort Mireille who was crying over some stupid argument she’d had with her boyfriend, not that Chloe cared. All she wanted was to find dirt on Lila, so she slipped in unnoticed and hid in an empty stall to listen.  

Nothing was right in her school anymore. Lila was stealing away everything she’d worked for, and while everyone was too busy paying attention to her, Chloe barely had anyone to boss around. Something needed to change. Fast. She would have to be smarter if she wanted to dethrone this queen, but she’d have order restored in her kingdom soon enough.

Chloe peeked through the crack in the door as Alya and Lila entered. She was going to find Lila’s weakness, then she was going to take her down.

“What’s going on?” Lila asked.

“Mireille and her boyfriend got into a fight, and she’s pretty upset,” Mylène said in a hushed tone.

“Marinette used to give advice to everyone and help them stay positive.” Rose glanced up at Lila. “Since you’re the new class representative, you can help, right?”

“Well, Mireille isn’t really in our class,” Lila said, but when Mireille let out a loud sob, she scrunched her nose and knelt beside her. “Hey, there’s no sense crying over some boy. I’ve had my heart broken before too, so I know how it feels. Boys are dumb. He’s not worth your tears,” she said. “If he really loved you, he wouldn’t have argued with you, and if he doesn’t love you, then you shouldn’t waste your time crying over him. I think you should move on because there’s no better revenge than finding someone cuter.”

“Yeah, I guess you’re right…” Mireille sniffled and ran a hand across her cheek.

“We can get some ice cream later if you want.” Alya offered.

“Thanks, girls.” Mireille smiled. She turned to the mirror to fix her face as the bell rang.

“See you later.” They all waved goodbye, shuffling to their next class and leaving Mireille alone.

Drat. Chloe would have to figure out another way to get to Lila. Everyone had a weakness, and Chloe would find hers if it was the last thing she did. But first she needed to get out of the bathroom stall.

She peeked through the crack in the door, but Mireille was still pouting over her lock screen—a picture of her boyfriend hugging her lovingly. Too preoccupied with her sadness, she didn’t see the little black butterfly land on her charm bracelet.

Chloe gasped as Mireille transformed before her eyes, closing the stall door before she could be noticed. She hated to admit it, but she actually missed Maribrat Dupain-Cheng. At least with her around giving pep talks to every miserable face she came across, akumas had reached an all-time low at their school. Where was Ladybug when she needed her?

♪♫♪ Listen ♪♫♪

“So, you really saved his whole show?” One of Marinette’s new classmates asked as everyone crowded around her.

“I’m sure they would have found another solution but-”

“Oh, don’t be modest!” Eliott cut her off with an eye roll. “She totally saved the whole show.”

“Yeah, Jagged Stone adores her.” Macy added with a giggle.

“I still think it should have been you up there, Macy. You’re a much better singer than I am.” Marinette rubbed the back of her neck.

“You have such a cute voice! We should sing a duet together for our next art project,” Macy said, and several classmates agreed, much to Marinette’s chagrin.

“Alright, class, everyone take your seats,” Mme. Allard instructed as she strolled into the room. To Marinette’s relief, the group surrounding her dispersed. “Today we will be discussing themes in Shakespeare’s Much Ado About Nothing. Now, who can tell me-”

When Marinette’s phone buzzed in her bag, she checked it under her desk. “An akuma alert!”

“What’s that?” Eliott leaned over.

“Is something the matter, Mlle. Dupain-Cheng? M. Chasse?” Mme. Allard paused her lesson and quirked a brow.

“Uh, there’s an akuma loose in the city, ma’am. Shouldn’t we evacuate?” Marinette held up her phone.

Mme. Allard removed her glasses to read the report. “It says here that lockdown orders are only for the area surrounding Notre Dame. We will continue our lesson until it becomes a threat on this side of town,” she said. “Now, put your phone away. They are prohibited during instruction.”

“Yes, Mme. Allard.” Marinette tucked her phone back into her bag and exchanged a nervous look with Tikki. “Actually, Mme. Allard?”

“What is it, Marinette?”

“Can I be excused to the bathroom?”

“You just went before we got here.” Macy gave her a quizzical look.

“Do you have a documented medical condition that requires you to frequent the restroom, Mlle. Dupain-Cheng?” Mme. Allard asked.

A few classmates giggled, and Marinette’s cheeks burned.

“No, ma’am,” she mumbled.

“Then I think you can hold it until the next class change. Now don’t interrupt my lecture again.”

“Yes, ma’am.” She lowered her head, shooting Tikki an apologetic wince.

Her foot tapped the entire lecture, fingers drumming, pen tapping, eyes watching the clock. Part of her hoped the akuma would make its way to their side of town, but she wasn’t so lucky. When the bell rang, Marinette jumped from her chair and stuffed her tablet into her bag.

“Uh, I’m not feeling too well, so I’m gonna go see the nurse,” she said.

“Do you want us to walk with you?” Eliott offered, but she shook her head.

“I, uh, think I might be getting the flu, and I don’t want to infect you guys, so I’ll see you later.” She raced up the hallway.

The third-floor bathroom was empty when Marinette burst through the doors and ducked into a stall—her first stroke of luck all day.

“Your new school is so strict,” Tikki said.

“We can talk about it later. Transform me!”

Dashing across the rooftops, she hurled her yoyo as far as she could. She just hoped Chat Noir managed to show up and keep things at bay. When she made it to the school, she swooped down just in time to deflect an attack before it hit Chat Noir.

“Oh, nice of you to finally drop in,” he said dryly.

“Sorry, kitty, I got held up,” she said. “You okay?”

He relaxed and offered her a wink. “Better now that you’re here. You had me worried.”

“I’ll try not to make a habit of it.” She vowed, readying her yoyo. “In the meantime, I think we could use a little luck to get us out of this mess.”

“Be my guest.” Chat Noir bowed.

Her magnifying glass made quick work of Heartbreaker, and Mireille blinked in confusion as Ladybug purified the akuma.

“What happened?” Mireille asked, dazed.

“You were akumatized.” Chat Noir explained.

“Oh no!” She covered her face. “I got so angry…Now Jean will never take me back!”

Ladybug placed a hand on Mireille’s shoulder with a reassuring smile. “Hey, arguments in relationships happen. I’m sure you both said things you regret, so why don’t you try talking to him now that you’ve both calmed down?” She advised. “I’m sure you can come to an understanding.”

“I will. Thank you, Ladybug.” Mireille smiled. She waved as Ladybug and Chat Noir vaulted off.

“Thanks for your help, m’lady.” Chat Noir kissed her hand.

“Sorry it took me so long, kitty. I’m glad you were able to manage,” she said. “I’ll see you next time.”

“Don’t be late,” he called as she swung off.

Landing back in the bathroom, she leaned against the wall with a sigh. That was too close. She’d have to figure out a better way to escape to fight akumas, but at least she made it in time for this one.

She slipped into her desk in physics quietly and leaned over to Eliott. “What’d I miss?”

“I thought you had the flu?” Eliott recoiled.

“False alarm, just allergies,” she said.

“Oh, we should go to the spa later! The sauna is really good for your sinuses,” Macy whispered.

“Uh, sure.” Marinette nodded, shifting in her seat as they tuned back into the lesson. She relaxed when no one seemed suspicious of her.

Being a superhero just got a lot more complicated.

♪♫♪ Delicate ♪♫♪

“How is your new school?” Adrien asked that afternoon over tea and cookies.

“I’m…adjusting.” Marinette pursed her lips. “How is the old school?”

“Well,” Adrien drawled. “Lila is the new class representative, and she may have convinced people that you almost ruined Jagged’s image.”

“What a brat.” Marinette rolled her eyes. “She’s really class rep?”

“Don’t look at me, I voted for Chloe.” Adrien held up defensive hands.

“Somehow I don’t feel like that’s better.” Marinette leaned against her fist with a smirk.

She fixed her gaze on her cup with a sigh.

“Rose said she misses you.” Adrien offered. “Before Lila convinced her you were clueless about dealing with celebrities.”

“I miss her too,” Marinette said. She traced the rim of her cup with a finger. “I miss everyone, but…”

“I know.” Adrien winced. “For what it’s worth, I thought your performance with Jagged was awesome.”

“It was pretty awesome,” she admitted with a giggle. “And I got you an autograph!”

Adrien pressed his palms together appreciatively as she retrieved a signed poster of Jagged’s face from her desk.

“You rock, Marinette!” he said in his best Jagged impression, then more sincerely added, “I’m glad that you’re doing what’s best for you. If there’s anything I can do to help, just say the word.”

“Thank you, Adrien.” Her cheeks warmed as he held her gaze, her mind clouding into a lovestruck haze. She almost got lost in his gorgeous green eyes, but footsteps pounded up the staircase, breaking her trance.

Marinette jumped as her trapdoor swung open, and a familiar pair of icy blue eyes poked through. It was Chloe Bourgeois, and she was pissed.

Learning to Be Loved

Chapter 1

I swear you guys aren’t prepared for the sweetness and sadness to come!!

THIS IS A TICKLE SERIES!!! DON’T LIKE THEN PLEASE KEEP SCROLLING!

The drive to Tony’s house was longer and more out of the city than you expected. The land was beautiful and then when you saw the house you were in awe. You’ve never seen a house so big.

“Not what you expected huh?” Tony asked. You shook your head when suddenly nervousness settled in your stomach, what if you got lost or got lonely in this huge house. Happy pulled into the entrance way and opened Tony’s door, you were so lost in your thoughts that you didn’t realize Tony got out of the car. “Having second thoughts?” You cleared your head and got out of the car.

“Well everyone knows your coming so it shouldn’t be a big surprise to them. Don’t worry they are some of the nicest and kindest people you’ll ever meet.” Tony said.

Who was everyone? Was it a large group of people? Were they people your age? A million more thoughts ran through your head as you walked closer and closer to the door. Tony opened the door for you and were just as in shock as you were when you saw the outside of the house. It was oddly comforting and also made you feel very very small due to the size.

“Come on everyone is this way.” Tony motioned for you to follow him. You walked into what seemed like a living room and there were probably eight people waiting to meet you. They all looked familiar too, but you still couldn’t remember where you’ve seen them. You were a little intimidated with all the eyes on you but you were determined to stand your ground. “Everyone this is Y/N, Y/N these are the Avengers.” 

The Avengers! That’s why they all looked familiar! But you were now going to possibly live with the Avengers, there was no way this was real life. This had to be a dream you would be waking up from very very soon.

“I’m sure you all want to get to know her but I’m going to show her her room and let her get settled in.” Tony stated as he motioned for you to follow him. He lead you down a maze of hallways. Finally the both of you stopped at the door you assumed to be your room, “I know it isn’t much right now but I have some stuff coming later and if you want anything don’t be afraid to ask, okay?” You nodded your head and opened the door. 

The room was far bigger than you’ve had in the past and you thought it was perfect right now, you had no idea what Tony could have bought to make it better. Although you all of a sudden felt guilty he had bought anything in the first place, I mean you were practically a stranger, a pretzel and hot dog were one thing but furniture for your own room was a whole other thing. 

“Go ahead get settled in. If you need anything let JARVIS know.” 

“Hello.” JARVIS’s voice echoed the room, alarming you a little. 

“Don’t worry he can’t see you or anything but go ahead put your things away and even take a nap if you want. You deserve a good sleep.” 

“Thank you.” You told Tony as you watched him shut your door to give you some privacy. 

You quickly put the few things you had away and crawled into your new bed. You’ve never had a bed this comfortable and quickly fell asleep.

________________

Meanwhile down in the living room

“Tony where in the world did you find her.” Steve asked. 

“She wandered into the Avengers tower lobby probably to get out of the heat. When I saw her all dirty and she looked so lost. I couldn’t help it and I can’t explain it. I tried to follow her but lost her in the crowd so I had JARVIS follow her. He followed her all the way to a teenage drop in center.” Tony said filling everyone in.

“Okay but you can’t just bring random teenagers back to the compound.” Clint argued. “What if she has an actual family out there or is on the run.”

“I’m having JARVIS try to find out her background and who she is. If she was kidnapped or something when she was younger, I will simply bring her back to her family. If they don’t have any red flags.” 

“I think she’s cute.” Bucky stated completely understanding what Tony felt because as soon as he laid eyes on her, a fierce need to protect her ran through him.

JARVIS discovered who she was and Tony starts reading the report to the team.

“Okay her name is Y/N L/N. She was born on Y/B to a Jane Doe at a hospital in Idaho and was abandoned in the hospital so she was immediately put into social services and was placed with a couple in New York. The reports from the social worker say that the couple was oddly clinical in their relationship with her but they had no means to remove her because she was excelling in school and all of her needs were being met. It also says that she always seemed to be on her absolute best behavior and the social worker said it looked like she was looking for approval and affection every time she looked at the couple she was placed with and it only got worse each time she visited.” Tony finished quietly at the end, his heart breaking for that poor girl. 

“She must not know what it means to be loved.” Bucky also stated with heartbreak in his voice. 

“Avengers, we have a new mission. We have to help Y/N learn how to be loved.” Everyone nodded in agreement. 

———————-

It’s been a few weeks since Tony took you in. You still couldn’t believe that you were living here. Everyone was so nice. They always smiled at you when they saw you, they wanted you to spend time with them and include you in things, they always communicated with you not wanting to make you uncomfortable. Although you had a special bond with Tony because he obviously took you in and was the father figure in your life. A couple days after Tony brought you to the Avengers compound, is what he called it, he noticed you were pretty quiet. 

“Y/N are you uncomfortable here?” Tony asked you. 

“No.” You told him honestly.

“Well I’ve noticed you’ve been pretty quiet.” He mentioned. “I just want you to know you can totally be yourself here and I know that your foster parents didn’t treat you very well.” You stiffened up a little when he mentioned them. “Sweetie, I have to know. Did they hurt you at all?”

“They didn’t hit me if that’s what you mean. I don’t think they really wanted me though.” You said almost ashamed and you looked down at your lap to embarrassed to look at Tony. 

“Oh sweetheart. Well I can tell you we want you here, we want to show you what a real family is. I also want you to know no question is off limits, so if you have absolutely any questions about anything don’t feel scared to ask. There is no judgement here.”

You nodded, excited to see what a family is.

Tony stood up, “Now let’s go get something to eat.” 

You also had a special bond with Bucky too. There was something about the way that he looked at you when Tony introduced you to everyone, you felt very safe, protected and something else you couldn’t figure out. You were also fascinated by his metal arm.

“Hey Y/N, wanna watch a movie with me?” Bucky asked you. 

“Yeah.” You said you didn’t watch a lot of them growing up and you loved them. Plus you had a lot of them to catch up on. You sat on the couch away from Bucky.

“Y/N you can sit closer to me if you want, if you wanna cuddle we can do that too.” Bucky smiled at you.

“What’s cuddling?” Your foster parents never showed you any affection. You knew what hugs were but that’s all and your foster parents didn’t even show you what that was. One of your classmates in kindergarten did that to you and you had to ask your teacher what it was. You liked it when you classmate hugged you it made you feel warm inside. Although your foster parents didn’t like it and you didn’t know anyone you could get a hug from. 

Bucky’s heart hurt a little bit, how could your foster parent never want to cuddle a sweet little thing like you. “Cuddling is a sort of gentle hug that you do with someone you care about. Here I’ll show you. Scoot over to me.” He waited until you were right next to him. “Now I’m going to lay down and you can lay down on my right side, then I’m going to put my arm around you and pull you closer. You can rest your head on my chest if you want too, kinda like a pillow. Sound good?”

You nodded excited about the new type of affection that Bucky was going to show you. You crawled into Bucky’s side and you had to shift a little bit to get comfortable but you loved this feeling. 

“Feel good sweetheart.” Bucky said. You nodded with a small smile on your face and nestled a little further into Bucky’s chest. “Good.” He said as he kissed your forehead. You turned to look up at him. 

“Why’d you put your lips on me?” You asked him. 

If Bucky’s heart hurt from the fact that you’ve never been cuddle, it shattered to pieces when he realized that you’ve never been kissed in your entire life. It made him want to cry and also destroy those foster parents of yours for neglecting you of love and affection your entire life. “That’s called a kiss. It’s another thing people do to show someone they love them. It can mean a lot of things hello, goodbye, it’s okay, I’m sorry, but it will always always mean I love you.” You felt bold and decided to also kiss his cheek in return, Bucky’s heart practically melted and he pulled you even closer. 

Later on in the movie, you were starting to drift off. “Hey no falling asleep.” Bucky teased as he squeezed your side. You gasped at the new feeling and tried to squirm away from his hand. “Well it looks like you’re ticklish, Y/N!” 

“What’s that?” You said before he could do it again. Bucky was so happy that he was the one that was teaching you all sorts of new things and by finding out you were ticklish made you even more adorable to him.

“Ticklish is something that describes when another person pokes, squeezes or rapidly moves their fingers over a spot on your body it can make you want to squirm away and causes you to laugh. Usually, people have more than one ticklish spot and they have one more ticklish than the other. Now let’s find yours.” 

Bucky pulled you up onto his chest so you were laying belly to belly, he wrapped both his arms around you and started to squeeze your sides again and you broke out into giggles. You actually didn’t mind the feeling it was kinda fun and something you’ve never felt before. “Seems like you pretty ticklish Y/N, so that must mean you are ticklish it some other places.” Bucky teased as his fingers started to work upwards towards your ribs.

You started to struggle a little bit more and laugh a little harder. You couldn’t stop your body from trying to grab his hands, even though you didn’t want him to stop tickling you. “Looks like your ribs are pretty ticklish Y/N. Are your armpits ticklish too?” 

When Bucky put his fingers in your armpits you started to laugh very high pitched and rapidly. “You sound like a Tickle Me Elmo doll there sweetie.” He said as he then kissed your cheek but didn’t stop tickling your armpits.

You were starting to get worn out and Bucky must have caught on because he stopped tickling you. “Tickling can also wear you out and it’s important to let the person you are tickling catch their breath after a while because you might make them pass out. 

“Are you ticklish?” You asked Bucky. 

“Yes.” He said with some nervousness in his voice. “But you can tickle me if you want.” 

You smiled and started to squeeze his side just like he did to yours and Bucky squirmed a little but start to laugh. You loved the sound of it and could understand why Bucky was having so much fun when he was tickling you. You decided to move in towards his belly to see if that was a spot people were ticklish too and Bucky started to laugh harder. 

“Ohohohokay!” Bucky said through his laughter. You immediately stopped not wanting him to be uncomfortable or mad at you. 

Suddenly you were looking up at Bucky because he flipped you over. “Let’s see if your belly is ticklish too.” He smirked and started to tickle your belly, you squealed, squirmed a little harder and laughed a little deeper. “This looks like your most ticklish spot so far. I want to try two more spots and then I will let you go.” You nodded not really wanting him to stop since you were having fun. 

“One spot that is almost ticklish on everyone is their feet.” He grabbed one of your feet and held your ankle is his metal arm. He quickly ran his fingers up and down and your body’s instinct was to kick and you started to laugh helplessly. “This is a good spot too, so far not as good as your ribs but there is still one more place I want to try.” He let your foot go and but pulled your leg so you didn’t have much room to bend your knee. 

“A place that most people don’t think is ticklish is their knees but let’s see if yours are.” Bucky started to squeeze right above your knee you screamed and laughed harder and deeper than any of the other spots. “Looks like your knees are your most ticklish spot Y/N.” He only tickled you here a little longer before letting you go. 

“What happened? What’s wrong?” Bucky and you both looked to see Steve and Tony standing in the entrance to the living room.

“What?” Bucky asked. 

“We heard Y/N scream and though something was wrong.” 

Bucky laughed again, “No! I was showing Y/N what cuddling is and found out she’s ticklish.” Bucky started to tickle your ribs again, you started to laugh again. “It seems like her ribs are her second most ticklish spot next to her knees.” Bucky started to squeeze your knees again making you frantically kick your legs and belly laugh again.  Bucky stopped again pretty quickly probably not wanting to wear you out too much.

“Looks like she’s almost as ticklish as Peter.” Tony smirked

“Who’s Peter?” you asked. 

The Potential In Philoise

gif credit: @vakariaan​

tw/ sexual assault, abuse, depression, suicide, julia quinn’s writing 

AN: Okay, so I said awhile ago I would explain why Phillip and Eloise are my favorite couple in the series so get ready...it’s a bit of a long one. 

I read four Bridgerton books immediately after the show ended. Skipping over The Duke and I because I wasn’t comfortable with the assault scene between Simon and Daphne and also because I had already seen the romance play out onscreen. I fell in love with each romance I encountered, mainly because I didn’t read them as they were but as the show would make them out to be. I romanticized a romance series as weird as that sounds. Yet, none of the romances struck me the way To Sir Phillip, With Love did.

It’s not a perfect book. In fact, it's incredibly problematic. Phillip rapes his depressed wife, Marina (although given Julia’s history with crossing the lines of consent I doubt this is the way she wanted us to interpret the scene. Actually, the way it was written made it seem like we were meant to sympathize with Phillip and his loveless marriage. Hence the way he immediately grows ill afterward.) Marina attempts suicide and dies due to disease later on. Given her storyline in the show and the fact that a young biracial woman is playing her was disheartening, to say the least.

(AN: I don’t consider the character to be Black representation, she’s biracial. As a black woman who enjoyed her character and arc, no part of me felt seen and represented through her because she was half black. She's Biracial rep, not Black rep and that’s okay. Just putting that out there. )

Phillip seeks a woman to take care of his children, fuck and do the shit he doesn’t want to do. His mental illness is handled in such a shitty way. The independent nature Eloise once has is almost stifled by Phillip and what he wants for some reason. He’s neglectful, erratic and he does dismiss potential negative feelings Eloise could have in their relationship because of his past relationship.

It's fucked up. The entire book.

And yet, imagining how this problematic romance would play out on screen once properly adapted for modern audiences makes me fucking giddy. All because of one, simple thing that remains the reason I am so fucking excited to see this pairing onscreen.

The unrealized potential the pairing and Phillip as a character have in the novel.

Let me explain.

Their romance is unique. Phillip and Eloise are not strangers when they meet. They’ve been writing to each other for months, picking each other’s brains every week or so. Getting to know each other in a way that other couples in the series don’t at first. Intellectually. They’re able to keep such a steady, enthralling dialogue through letters, and it's a friendship that they both enjoy. Phillip stimulates Eloise’s mind, something the show has emphasized her wanting, for months. He’s her intellectual equal, or at least...he has the potential to be. Of course, he slaves over the letters (which is cute as fuck because he really just wants her to like him) but it's still his words. It’s his voice. It is Phillip, at his best.

I hope the show can play this up. Phillip is a botanist and a scholar before he inherits his family’s estate. Eloise has a desire to learn and further her knowledge of the world around her. Bonding over their shared love of education, fun banter based around teasing the other and their individual studies, taking an interest in what the other desires to learn.  Reading books together in the greenhouse, etc. The show could easily play up the fact that Phillip was not only a gardener but a literal man of science, something Julia neglects in their book despite it having the possibility of playing a major factor in their love story.

The possibilities of it just...makes me swoon.

Moving on, Eloise choosing to pursue a possible future with this man is a big fucking deal. Running away from home to go after a future for herself IS her displaying her OWN agency. Sure, Phillip poses the question of it but she’s the one who chooses it. Phillip doesn’t demand her to come to him, he simply suggests it and she’s the one who acts. The one who pursues. And if they hadn’t been bombarded by her brothers, it would’ve remained her choice of whether or she wanted to be a part of this man’s life permanently.

Phillip wouldn’t have forced her, he could’ve easily tried to. By going to the Bridgerton house and discussing with Anthony the possibility of marrying her but no, he asks her. HE ASKS HER AND SHE CHOOSES. I fucking love that. It's like the bare minimum but given the time period and the number of couples where the man has the final say on the marriage, this just makes me giddy. The show could change this and give Eloise more time with Phillip to the point where she chooses him and isn’t forced into the marriage which I hope they do.

Also, their first meeting where neither one of them is what the other expects sounds amazing ngl. The initial confusion, shock, unease, and undeniable attraction, it's gonna serve why lie?

Despite how much it affects him, the subject of Phillip’s abuse is handled so...wrong. As someone who shares an experience with abusive parents, I understand the fear of becoming like them. Of hurting the ones you love and being angry and feeling guilty. Yet, Phillip never confronts these fears. Not really. Sure, we get the scene in the nursery but thinking of how the show could handle it and his relationship with his children makes me excited. Having him being neglectful of his children was the wrong move, especially if his fear is hurting them in an attempt to discipline them. It's clear he loves them and ultimately wants the best for them which is why he’s searching for someone to better take care of them despite the shitty bitch he already has hired. I hope the show capitalizes on that.

Have Phillip be involved but not a disciplinary figure. Yeah, I get that he’s the man or whatever but it's clear that Phillip finds no enjoyment in the act or even pondering it. But he does love his kids. Have him be overwhelmed but still involved. It just felt weird that Phillip didn’t want anything to do with his kids despite one of his main reasons to look for a wife was so that they could be properly taken care of. Have him try but struggle. A lot.

It’d be funny to see Oliver and Amanda running the house and Phillip struggling to keep up. They’re supposed to be mischievous, they should play that up in the show. Having the kids be little gremlins but instead of him ignoring them completely, he could just give in to their whims. And when his anger does get the best of him, then he could run. Be distant, wrestle with his internal struggle with abuse but also knowing he can’t let his kids run his household like this and go about as reckless as they do.

Speaking of abuse, I hope they scrap the nursery lady altogether. I know it’s supposed to show him stepping into dad mode but it just felt like unnecessary and triggering of his own child abuse. He could easily step into this role by learning to deal with his anger, learning to control it. Eloise could suggest journaling the way she does (another bonding moment that could be less cute and more intimate if done right.) Having him put his anger into gardening, I interpreted it as it being a safe place and coping mechanism for him in the book and that would be nice to see.

Having to finally put an end to his kids' tirade once he learns to trust himself and realize that he’s nothing like his father. Actual healing from childhood trauma and Eloise helping him do so. She could also suggest boxing with her brothers like...it just makes sense. As someone with a temper, boxing helped me sort through that and the opportunity to see Phillip and Simon bonding, while boxing, over their shitty dads, sounds pretty fucking cathartic (and hot).

I would just like the show to truly show that just because you’ve dealt with abuse doesn’t mean you have to be defined and like your abuser. Phillip is a pretty great candidate for it because the guy is...scarred, to say the least.

I love the physical side of Phillip and Eloise’s relationship. Like really love, it's said that they try different things and are comfortable in that regard with each other and it just...yeah, that makes me happy. Besides that, I hope they play up the intellectual side of their relationship. Two nerds in love are adorable and imagining Phillip ranting about plants and Eloise just being completely enthralled at this man and his passion sounds like the cutest fucking shit.

Speaking of intellectual, it's implied Phillip cares little about high society. Meaning, wouldn’t he care even less about societal expectations and norms? Meaning Eloise would literally find freedom with this man to just...do her. Despite the book showing how Phillip wants a wife, it never really says that he cares exactly how that wife maintains herself or their household. Eloise wants to fuck around and wear trousers? He doesn’t care. Eloise wants a private tutor and a study for herself? Cool. Eloise wants to take Amanda riding in the forest and then teach her how to shoot? All good. The man was literally proud to watch her beat her brothers in a traditionally masculine sport. He wants his wife to run his house and his entire life how she sees fit.

Julia really neglected how much agency and power that could give Eloise. She could be his equal, like really be his equal. Of course, Phillip becoming more involved in his and his children’s lives is a part of his arc but nothing leads me to believe he would want to control Eloise. The two of them being more than just lovers, but partners who allow the other their freedoms when needed sounds epic as shit.

Now some things that could easily be left out, the rape scene. It’s there to showcase that Phillip has lost his wife and there is no chance of reigniting whatever they may have had in the past. Yet, there are so many other ways to show that. Phillip could try and speak with her with no response. Hold her hand and she pulls away? He’s a smart man, it doesn’t take much to get the hint so that could’ve easily been written out and replaced with something else.

Second of all, I like the possibility of Marina and Phillip finding happiness at first. Of them trying to love each other after George and succeeding. The way Marina is written in the show, I doubt she’s quick to give up. So to see the two of them having an agreeable marriage and getting along would be nice. They could showcase her mental illness in a different form, it's clear she suffers from postpartum depression. She withdraws into herself, distances herself from her children. She’s depressed but it's not as stereotypical and easily spotted as Julia makes it out to be. Marina just gives up on her children and life without any fight? Absolutely not.

As someone who suffers from depression, the way Julia wrote it is so...??? The truth is, I would like Phillip and their family to not even realize she’s suicidal. To not see it coming when she jumps in the lake and attempts to end her own life because that's exactly how suicide impacts so many people and their loved ones. They don’t see it coming. Phillip struggling with the guilt of that rather than the anger of being trapped in a loveless marriage sounds...a lot more interesting to me. Me, personally. Considering how much buzz the show has, it would spark up a dialogue and a good one if handled properly. I’ve thought a lot about Marina but this is just how I would prefer to see it handled if they go through with her canon death (which I am not actively rooting for by the way.)

Another reason I like the potential of Philloise is Oliver and Amanda, they just add some extra spice. If fully realized characters, watching them grow closer to their dad and form a relationship with Eloise would be so rewarding for two kids who have lost a lot. Also, the amount of comedic gold in their pranks with Eloise and dynamic with each other would give the season even more humor on top of Eloise herself.

And as much as I love the line, “this-us-is heaven.” They could easily modify the love speech. Like very easily.

My point is, I think their potential outweighs the problematic factors in their story and I doubt the show will fail on realizing it and ridding itself of the problematic aspects. One could even say they already started, I mean look at the way the show made a point to show Eloise’s disgust with fathers and husbands who abandon their family, and then comes Phillip, doing the absolute most to protect his remaining family. I mean, Bridgerton did turn the weakest romance in the series into a whole pop culture phenomenon. My hopes are high. Okay, that’s all.

No Matter What

This one was requested by @aimkatsz. It’s longer than any other fic I’ve written before, but I’m pretty confident it’s also one of my favourites. To anyone who takes the time to read the entire thing, thank you.

Reader x Juice where you and Juice are very close friends, and he comes to you distraught and in need of comfort. (This is intended to take place in the midst of the Season 4 craziness)

Note: I am in no way trying to say that sex is the magic cure to all mental health issues (and I tried to make that clear in my writing) but I truly believe that a moment of intimacy shared between two people at the right time can be beautiful and very powerful.

Warnings: Mention of a suicide attempt, a few swears, and smut.

Word Count: 3267

Masterlist

Things between you and Juice were complicated, in your eyes at least. What started out as a casual friendship, talking for a few minutes here and there when you crossed paths at the clubhouse, soon blossomed into what you knew would be a life-long bond. Although unsure of what exactly that entailed, you knew you needed Juice in your life no matter what, just as much as he needed you.

The feelings you had for him started out small, when you began noticing all the little things he would do. Like the way he hugged you a little bit longer than the rest of the guys did. Or the way he smiled at you from across the room. Or the way he laughed at your jokes, even when you knew they weren’t all that funny.

It was late one night, and your phone rang. “Hey Juicy!” You became painfully aware of just how fast you always seemed to answer your phone when you saw his name popped up.

“Hey Y/N!” Hearing him say your name made your stomach flutter; that was new. “What are you up to tonight?”

“I don’t have much planned actually, so I’ve got some free time.” With this new self-awareness, you found yourself trying hard to play it cool.

“Great, well I was thinking of having a games night, maybe watch a movie or something. Would you be interested?” You knew any time Juice held a games night, everyone was there. You were more than happy that you were part of the core group of people he always invited, but something in the back of your mind wanted it to be just the two of you. Apparently Juice had the same idea, because when you asked who all was going to be there, his response was, “Well...that’s the thing. I was hoping you would be okay with it just being the two of us this time? The guys get a little rowdy sometimes,” he teased.

You laughed right along with him, “Really? I hadn’t noticed!” Breathing in deep, you attempted to calm your nerves before continuing with, “But yeah- yeah that would be fine with me! Maybe now we’ll finally be able to figure out who the real Mario Kart champ is!”

“Oh, you are so on!” The excitement in his voice was obvious, and you couldn’t help but smile.

Countless times that night you found yourself staring at him just a little too long.

One final lap was left on Rainbow Road, you and Juice were neck in neck, one tiny slip up away from being the loser. That’s when it happened, a lone banana peel laying right in the middle of the track, and Juice ran right into it. You made the final push over the finish line and threw your arms in the air.

“YES!” you yelled, pure adrenaline pumping through your veins.

Juice dropped his head and shook it side to side, before looking up at you, a huge smile on his face. “Okay- okay! You won, fair and square!”

Taking a deep breath and looking him in the eyes, you humbly thanked him. “Well, you made me work for it, that’s for sure!”

Then all of a sudden it hit you, like crashing into a brick wall at 100 miles an hour. You could see a future. In a flash you saw Juice teaching your kids how to play the game, one of them sitting on his lap, his hands over top of their tiny fingers, helping them move the controls.

From that day on, things were a little fuzzy around him. You couldn’t help but replay that night over and over and over again. But nothing seemed to come of it. You’d convinced yourself that it was all in your head. Besides, was the amazing friendship you had worth risking just to find out if he felt the same?

Fast forward 8 months.

Juice had been very distant lately, and it was getting more and more difficult to ignore as the days passed. The happy, playful person you had come to know and love over the past few years was slowly fading. You’d attempted to get him to talk about whatever was bothering him a few times, but he just kept telling you he was “fine”, it was just some “club shit”.

It was a Thursday night, and as you sat at home mindlessly flipping through the channels on your TV, all you could think about was Juice. You debated calling Chibs a couple times to ask if he’d noticed anything weird about him lately, but you couldn’t bring yourself to do it. If it was all in your head, you would be worrying the club for nothing. But you couldn’t just sit around and do nothing. You decided that if you didn’t hear from Juice by the weekend, you were going to call someone and figure out what the hell was going on.

A few minutes later, you heard a soft knock on the door. You turned the TV off and set the remote down on your coffee table. Looking through the peephole in your front door, you saw that it was Juice.

Before you knew it, you had the lock flipped, the door open, and you were standing face to face. It didn’t take long to realize that he had been crying; his eyes were puffy, and his breathing was heavy.

“Juice! What’s wrong?” You wasted no time, wrapping your arms around his broad shoulders and pulling him close. The lack of response from him frightened you. As you released him from the hug, you slid your hands down his arms until you were holding his hands in yours. Giving them a light squeeze, you motioned with your head for him to come inside.

Once inside, you flipped the lock on the door and turned to face him again. He pushed the hood of his sweater off his head, and that’s when you noticed it. Large patches of bright red and purple all around his neck.

“Oh shit- Juan-”

Tears started to build in your eyes, and it wasn’t long before they were rolling down your cheeks.

“What happened?! Who did this to you?!”

You could see it in his eyes; no one did this to him.

“This- this wasn’t an accident...was it?”

He still hadn’t spoken a word, he just shook his head.

Almost like a switch had been flipped, he went from standing completely still, unable to speak, to pacing back and forth in your living room, mumbling to himself.

All you could do was stand there, trying to wrap your mind around this new information. “Juice tried killing himself. What happened? When? WHY? What the FUCK.” Taking a deep breath, it took everything in you to calm yourself down. You needed to be strong for him. This wasn’t the time for you to lose your cool. He was suffering, and he’d come to you for help.

Taking a couple slow steps towards him, you reached out your hand. He was still pacing back and forth, but this time as he passed in front of you, your fingers brushed against his arm lightly, and he stopped. It was clear he was starving for human connection. Without looking at you, he reached his shaky hand back and grabbed a hold of yours. You two stood there for a couple minutes in silence, just holding each other’s hand, until you noticed his breathing slowly return to normal.

All he needed was to be close to someone, know that someone cared. You knew he’d been alone for the majority of his life. The few things he’d told you about his childhood, why he moved to Charming, broke your heart, but in the silence they were all you could think about.

He finally spoke, his voice soft, “I always fuck everything up.”

“No, Juan, you don’t-”

He cut you off, “Turns out I can’t even do this right-” Laughing softly, he pointed to his neck.

You didn’t know how to respond. Closing your eyes, a single tear escaped and rolled down your cheek. When you opened your eyes again, he was standing in front of you, staring into your eyes. “I’m really sorry, Y/N. It must not be easy to care for someone as broken as I am. I’m sorry I’m putting this all on you.”

You shook your head, and brought one of your hands up to the side of his face. “You never have to apologize to me. I’m here, Juan, I promise. No matter what. Just tell me what happened,” you pleaded.

He explained it all. Everything from Roosevelt and the info about his father, up to what happened with Miles. Your heart broke for him.

“There’s nothing I can do. I don’t know how to get out of this. I just want it all to stop.”

You needed to do something, anything to get his mind off of the seemingly never ending pile of shit that kept coming his way. “Okay, then tell me if there’s something I can do. Anything- anything to make this hurt you’re feeling stop.”

Breathing deep, he took his time answering, as if going through a mental list of all the things he needed to make himself feel whole again.

“I need to know that someone needs me.”

His words broke your heart all over again.

“I need to know that YOU need me, Y/N.”

Your shoulders slumped as all your feelings for him, the ones you’d been pushing down for so long, began to surface.

“Make love to me.”

That was a really big first step. Although you would be lying if you said you’d never thought about it before, you didn’t want to take advantage of someone in such a vulnerable state. “Juan- I- I don’t know if that’s such a good idea-”

“No- please- please don’t turn me away ‘for my own good’. I need you, Y/N, I always have. I hate that it took hitting rock bottom for me to finally do something about it.”

You sighed deep, and tears threatened to escape once more. You could hear it in his voice, the desperate plea of someone searching to belong. This would be so much more than just two people fucking. He needed to be close to someone, intimate with someone he loved, who loved him back. And though you knew this wouldn’t be the cure for all his problems, you hoped it would at least give him some sense of comfort.

Feeling your body give in to what it had been craving for so long, you stood on your tip-toes and kissed him gently. You lingered for a few seconds, before squeezing his hand that was still in yours, and leading him to your bedroom.

Once at the foot of the bed, you motioned for him to sit down, and he did. Walking over to your nightstand, you pulled a condom out of the top drawer, and made your way back. Standing in front of him, you placed the condom on the bed beside him.

Leaning forward slightly, you kissed him again, whispering against his lips, “Are you sure this is what you want?”

When you pulled back, you noticed a couple tears escape from his eyes. As you wiped them away with your thumbs, he nodded. “This is all I’ve ever wanted. I need this. I need you.”

Giving him a soft smile, you leaned forward and kissed the top of his head. Trailing kisses down the side of his face and down his neck, being extremely careful not to put too much pressure on the fresh bruises.

Sliding your hands over his shoulders, you found the zipper on his sweater and pulled it down, pushing the sweater down his arms and off his body. He wasn’t wearing a shirt under the sweater, so you picked up your trail of kisses right where you’d left off. Kissing the side of his neck tenderly once more, you continued down the front of his chest until you were on your knees in front of him. Kissing his bulge through his pants, you could tell he was already aroused.

You looked him in the eyes, hoping he would see the love you had for him. Undoing his belt buckle and pulling down the zipper on his pants, you reached over and grabbed the condom wrapper. As you tore it open, he shuffled himself back, pulling his boxers and pants off in one smooth motion. Once his pants were out of the way, he rested one of his hands on your head as you rolled the condom down his length, and placed a soft kiss on his tip.

Standing up once again, you reached for the hem of your shirt, but felt Juice’s hands on yours. He joined you in standing up, as he grabbed a hold of the bottom of your shirt and pulled it over your head for you. As he reached around your back to undo your bra, you took advantage of the close proximity of your bodies, wrapping your arms around him and running your hands against the soft skin on his back. You trailed more kisses across his chest from one shoulder to the other, before he slid your bra down your arms and tossed it to the side.

Neither of you had spoken a word yet, your actions were saying all that needed to be said.

Looking into each other’s eyes, you smiled softly at him as you undid the zipper on your jeans, slid them off your body, and kicked them aside. Placing your palms gently against his chest, his arms around your shoulders, you kissed him passionately. You were completely breathless when you pulled away, feeling the warmth of his skin pressed against yours.

Placing his hands on your shoulders, he turned you around so your back was to the bed, and encouraged you to sit down. Sliding yourself back to the middle of the bed, Juice followed closely on his knees, until you were lying on your back and he was hovering above you.

Sliding your legs apart, he nuzzled his body between your legs, and placed both of his hands on either side of your face. As his kind brown eyes stared into yours, every emotion you’d ever felt for him came flooding in. You wanted nothing more than to show him just how much you cared for him; you loved him.

Your arms were wrapped loosely under his arms and around his back, pulling him down on top of you. The weight of his body on yours was comforting, and you felt all your anxieties disappear. You could only hope the same was happening for him.

Running his fingers through your hair, he kissed you tenderly and asked, “Is this okay?”

You nodded, “Yes Juan, this is perfect.”

A soft smile found a home on his face; it was both beautiful, and heartbreaking.

Reaching one of your hands down between your bodies, you grabbed his length and lined him up with your core. Moving your hips in a circular motion, you heard Juice moan quietly into your ear as he slowly pushed himself inside you.

You both laid still for a moment, just wanting to feel each other.

Still lying flush with your body, Juice started moving his hips, back and forth, back and forth. His pace was slow and passionate, and you could feel every inch of him leave your body, only to enter you again moments later.

You only switched positions once. He had pulled himself out of you slowly, rolled off you, and encouraged you to roll onto your side. Lifting one leg slightly, you felt his chest against your back as he slid himself into you from behind. His length was hitting all the right spots in this new position, every thrust pushing you closer and closer to the edge.

His cheek was resting against the back of your head, and you reached your hand back, caressing his cheek. With his hot breath on your neck, his arm reaching around your body to play with your breasts, it didn’t take long for you to reach your tipping point. Moaning his name, your body began to shake, and you felt him pull you close.

He began moving in and out of you again, and moments later you could hear his breathing hitch. His hips stilled, and his legs shook. His length still inside you, he emptied himself inside the condom, sighing heavily against your shoulder.

“I love you, Juan.” The words fell out of your mouth so naturally, it even caught you by surprise.

Unable to answer you, he simply pulled his length out of you, causing you to groan at the emptiness. You turned over to find that he had rolled onto his side, facing away from you. The person lying next to you was broken, and you knew it. Shuffling yourself towards him, it was your turn to hold him. You wrapped your arms around him, and placed a loving kiss between his shoulder blades.

Crying after sex; such a taboo subject, and something generally viewed negatively. There he was, mere seconds after cumming inside you, visibly shaking as tears streamed down his face, but judgement was the farthest thing from your mind. 

“I love you so much, Juan. More than you ever thought possible.” You hoped that repeating it might help him realize that you weren’t simply caught up in the moment when you said it earlier. “I just never knew how to tell you. I didn’t want to lose what we had. I love you too much for that to happen. I was afraid.”

He took a couple more shaky breaths, before rolling over in your arms to face you. Moving your hand to the side of his face, you wiped away the remnants of tears that lingered on his cheeks. As he leaned close, he kissed your lips, and whispered against them, “I love you too, Y/N. Thank you.”

Caressing the side of his face, your foreheads pressed together, you felt like there was still so much to be said. ”Juan- I’m going to say something, and I just want you to listen, okay? Really hear what I’m about to say, alright?” You pulled your face away from his so you could look him in the eyes, “Please?”

He nodded slowly, a single tear escaping from the corner of his eye.

“Okay,” you said gently, “This thing that you’re so worried about-” you hesitated, wanting to be gentle, but also wanting to get the point across, “your father-”

His body reacted physically to your words; his eyes shut, his chest tightened, and his brows furrowed. You gave him a few seconds to breathe before you continued. “I think you need to tell the club. Look at what this has already done to you. This can’t continue. I can’t watch you live like this anymore-” a lump in your throat stopped your speaking. Swallowing hard, you continued as calmly as you could, “I can’t lose you, Juan. I just can’t.”

He opened his eyes at this point, and wrapped his arms around you.

“And no matter what happens, you will always have me. I’m not going anywhere.” Your voice broke again, but your words were sincere.

He nodded, and with that, you knew he understood what needed to be done. He knew he couldn’t go on living like this, either, and knowing he had you by his side gave him the confidence he needed to face his demons.

My Roommate is an Apparition: WHAT A HORRIBLE NIGHT TO HAVE A DAD - Part 2

Based on characters created by @reddpenn

————————————-

Oh man, am I late on posting this.  So many things going on.  Not to mention figuring out how to follow up the first part.

It seems people really like the first-person narration from “A-Pink-Ciation of Culture”, so I went with that again with this piece.

Almost DAILY, I get likes or re-blogs and the occasional follower despite not having posted anything since March.  I’m very curious and would like to hear from you readers about what you like about my writing and what appeals to you.  Eventually, I want to make a living off of writing, but until that time, I definitely could use any and all feedback.

Anyway, now that that’s out of the way, on with the story!

 From the Diary of Lily, March 1st, 2020:

Okay, diary, I’m coming to you because I honestly have no idea where else to go to try and sort through the evening I just had with my Dad and Tulpa.   I can’t put my finger on it, but something about tonight just... bothers me!  It’s like I’m on pins and needles and can’t stop thinking about, well, a LOT of stuff.  Just... hear me out and maybe it’ll make sense if I put this all down on paper (I.E. You).  I just spent the last twenty minutes trying to talk things through out loud, but that got me nowhere so here goes nothing:

First off, my Dad came to visit a week earlier than what I had planned, and immediately sets up shop in my living room with his NES and copy of Castlevania III.  Only problem was I hadn’t talked with Tulpa about his visit since I was expecting him until NEXT weekend.  I kept thinking that the last thing I wanted was for anything weird to happen during his visit.

Which, looking back on it, was a really stupid thing to worry about.

I mean, Dad’s a pretty open-minded guy and he’s quite weird himself.  He’s actually quite proud of his weirdness (embarrassing as it is sometimes).  He tends to under-react to all kinds of things like it’s no big deal.  I’ve even asked him why he doesn’t freak out about some of the stuff he comes across in real life or on TV, and he just tells me, “I’ve seen weirder.”   (If some of the stories he’s told me are true, then he has.  He really, REALLY has!)

For example: if Tulpa had come into the room holding a... I dunno, a plate or something, like would that really freak my Dad out?  Pfft, No!  He (maybe?) wouldn’t see her, all he’d see was a “flying saucer” (he deliberately would make that lame pun too), and then get back to his game.  Then later, he’d try and tell me about the real flying saucers he saw years ago, or something.

Since I had assumed that Dad wouldn’t have been able to see her, it eventually clicked in my head that what I was actually worrying about was, “what would Tulpa think of my Dad?”  He’s a huge Goofus that likes to make bad jokes, tell tall tales, and play video games!  And even if he did weird her out, it’s not like she could go anywhere... right?  I mean, she might avoid interacting with me because of him, but...

Oh...

Oh wow...

I just read what I just wrote and I can not believe I was being THAT irrational!  ( Man, people are stupid sometimes; me included!)

Avoid me because of my DAD!?   That’s gotta be the dumbest thing I’ve ever thought!   It’s not like he LIVES here or anything!   He’s not the one paying the rent; I am!  And... I’ve gotten to know Tulpa pretty well these past few months, but... I guess I still have a lot more to learn about her.  Case in point:

————————————-

So Tulpa tells me that she wants to meet my Dad, and after coming to my senses somewhat, I say she can sit in so long as she doesn’t touch anything (see flying saucer explanation above).  A few minutes later, she walks in looking like the tall girl from Keep Your Hands off Eizouken (I had to look the name up; I couldn’t remember it for the life of me).  By that I mean, she’s coming in as a tall, lanky, skinny, somewhat pale skinned girl looking to be about my age.  She’s wearing some modest clothes and, if I’m being honest with myself, they looked kind of cute in that outfit they had on.  It was a nice ensemble.

Then Dad says “Hi” to her.

...

Let me repeat that in case it hasn’t clicked with you yet.

My Dad GREETED her!

He! SAW! Her!

When I asked her about it later, she said to me that she thought that since he’s my Dad, then whatever it is that allows me to see her could be something my Dad has too.  So far, her theory has been proven right, but... I’m not one-hundred percent sure, because Tulpa... well... she changed.

And I’m being literal here, too!  She no longer had that transparency to her like usual.  She had a nose!  She had ears!  She had five fingers!  And she looked...

...well...

...good.

Tulpa said she had never tried doing this before, but figured that in the off-chance that her hunch was correct, she wanted to make a good impression on my Dad.  (Why do I keep thinking about that old joke in movies and TV shows about the overprotective Dad that threatens the boy about to go on a date with their daughter?)  She even went so far as to create her own “clothes”, saying she knew they’d be important.  Considering that she doesn’t wear (or need) clothes any other time, I ask her how she came to that conclusion.  I still have no idea what she meant when she suddenly bellowed out, “GOOD...!  GRIEF...!  HE’S...!  NAKED!”

[Edit:  It’s from Spongebob, because of course it was.]

So I’m not sure if Dad could see her because she purposely made herself opaque, or if he would have been able to see her if she wasn’t in her human “disguise” (and yes, I’m calling it a disguise and I’ll explain why a bit later, okay?).  But either way, she walks in and my Dad just starts chatting away like so:

————————————-

“Hi there! You must be Lily’s roommate!” says Dad.

At this point, I’m kind of frozen solid on the couch, just watching and listening as everything unfolds in front of me like it’s being burned into my retinas.  You know that saying about slow-motion train wrecks? Y’know, about how you can’t look away from them? This is probably why I remember the conversation so well.

“Heh...Hello,” she responds back nervously.

“I’m Lily’s Dad,” he says as if it wasn’t obvious, “Hope you don’t mind if we play some games out here.”

Tulpa shakes her head and stutters out, “No...N-not at all.”

“Great!” Dad responded with a smile that said, “Even if it was bothering you, I’m still going to take up the TV and play video games.  So nyeh!”  I’ve lived with him long enough to know that he’s not someone who would give up the TV without a fight.

(...gee... that kind of reminds me of someone now that I think about it...)

Tulpa then asks, “M-mind if... I watch?”

Dad gives her this big, goofy smile and responds with a, “Sure thing!” since despite him never admitting to it, he always liked having an audience around when he played games (or almost anything really) in hopes of “schooling” them. (Why he didn’t go into teaching, I will never understand.)

As soon as Dad turns back to his game and un-pauses it, Tulpa smiled, sat back, and looked content (Although it was a little weird seeing her smile with a nose to go along with it.) This snaps me out of my stupor long enough to scootch over to Tulpa and chat with her.

“You actually want to watch him play?” I ask her once more because the mere thought that she’d be interested in something outside of cartoons still hadn’t registered in my head, yet.

“Yeah...” she says as she starts to stare at the screen like she usually does during her cartoon time. “...sounded... familiar,” she said before looking up slightly while lost in thought, “...Simon... Belmont... Mega... Man... Kid... Icarus...” she said again as though that meant something. To me it just sounded almost like some kind of madness mantra, but...

“Oh! You mean Captain N: The Game Master!” my Dad chimed in out of seemingly nowhere.

“YES!” Tulpa said with excitement (worth noting that she doesn’t look excited very often, but when she does, she practically glows). “I remember...” she said before pausing to collect her thoughts and form the words she wanted to say. If I could have, I would have warned her about my Dad’s tendency to pounce on any hesitation in a conversation to take it over.

“Man, I haven’t seen Captain N in decades,” he said wistfully, “Surprised someone young as you remembers it.   I was in High School when that show came on!   When did you see it?”

“Ummm...” she hesitated, “...reruns... when I was... a kid.”

(As I’m writing this down now, I realize she was trying to hide her actual age from Dad. She looked to be in her early twenty’s like I was, but if she said she saw it when it came on the air originally, that’d make her over thirty years old at least.)

“Ahhhh! I see you have good taste in reruns!” Dad complimented.

“Th-thank you,” she stuttered back. As I listened to the awkward conversation of father-roommate bonding, I found my eyes constantly turning towards Tulpa. Not out of adoration or anything, but more like... studying her.

————————————-

On the one hand, she looked like the Tulpa that I had known ever since she became my roommate months ago.  But on the other hand, they somehow weren’t.   It’s kind of like when someone changes their looks a bit for maybe, I dunno, a night on the town, a job interview, a wedding, or something else along those lines.  Only in her case, “dressing up” meant adding additional body parts she didn’t normally have.

(To be honest, I’m still not entirely sure what to think about that...)

I’ve always been a firm believer of people being themselves, and being allowed to be themselves.  I can’t stand situations where people are unable to truly express themselves or feel comfortable.  Way I see it, life is too short to be spent worrying over stupid stuff that makes people miserable just so they can come off as normal.

Sometimes it’s because of social norms and expectations; those unspoken rules of life that people are supposed to just magically “know”.  Like if someone was going to a church or temple service, social norms say they need to wear their “Sunday Best” with stiff, itchy clothes that are dry clean only.  If I was able to go to a sermon wearing a baggy college sweatshirt, sweatpants, and slippers, and NOT be judged like I’m some kind of crazy hobo, it would have definitely made something like that more appealing to me.

Now I have nothing against anyone that likes to dress up in fancy clothes and wear them out and about; I mean, everyone likes different things, right? The point is that if I’m going to do something that makes me uncomfortable, it should be because I wanted to do it for myself.   I don’t think I should bend over backwards making myself feel bad (physically or mentally) for someone else’s sake.  Sure, call me selfish if you must, but I just can’t advocate for doing something that makes you feel bad because you wanted someone else to feel good.

I’m just thankful no one in my family has ever tried to push anything on me.  Sure, they’ve suggested things to me before, and of course made sure I didn’t do something stupid that would injure me or worse when I was too young to know better.  But overall, my family has given me a lot of freedom to do what I want, dress how I want, and be who I want to be.  Now that I think about it, I’m kind of lucky that way.

(I hope I’m making sense on this. Re-reading this, I’m not entirely sure if I do.)

————————————-

Anyway, I’m looking at Tulpa and watching them carefully, trying to figure out if they were comfortable looking like that or not.  She’s just sitting there watching my Dad play Castlevania III, and he was now on the haunted pirate ship with Trevor and Sypha.  He was breezing through at a pretty good pace and sharing an anecdote about how Warren Ellis figuratively gave him the “Turd Cape of Shame” on this old message board back when the Castlevania series on Netflix was just an idea back in 2007.  (I still am not entirely sure if that story is true or not.)

“Hey Lily,” Dad asks suddenly out of the blue, “got anything to drink?”  I offer him some lemonade, he accepts, and I go to the kitchen to pour him a glass.  As I’m doing this, I hear Dad ask Tulpa, “By the way, I don’t think I caught your name.  What was it again?”

“...Tulpa...” she says back to him.

My body freezes up for a moment as I realized that “Tulpa” is not an ordinary name.  I mean the first time she told me her name, it sounded like some kind of Pokémon.  Once again, that irrational fear of my Dad being weirded out or something enters my head, but is dispelled almost immediately.

“Tulpa?” my Dad says aloud to himself, “That’s a very interesting name.”

“T-Thank you...” she says back.

I walk in with a glass of pink lemonade and set it down on a little, folding TV dinner stand that was given to me when I first moved out for college.  I slowly sit back down again as I keep an eye on Dad.  His facial expression is the same as usual: relaxed.  You could call it a poker face, but I’ve seen him play poker and he is BAD at poker.

“Anyone in your family Buddhist?” my Dad asks casually.

I step in, “Dad!  What kind of a question is that!?”  And I meant what I said too. Who even asks something like that!?

“I was just wondering,” he says before once again shutting up and focusing on his game.

This is one of the things about my Dad that bugs me to no end: he likes to be cagey sometimes.  He’ll say something vague with the sole purpose of making the other person curious, confused, or both.  It leaves, like, questions in the back of your head that just start gnawing at your brain and won’t stop chewing away at your gray matter until you finally ask him to explain what the heck he was talking about.    He does this on purpose to “bait” people into asking him questions or to continue with what he’s saying.  So annoying!

I sigh, “Why’s that, Dad?”

He gives a little smile and continues, “Oh it’s just that this isn’t the first time I’ve heard the name “Tulpa” before, that’s all.”

NOW he has my total undivided attention and Tulpa’s too as we both unconsciously lean forward.  Practically in sync, we both say, “It’s not!?”

He’s still smiling as he says, “Nope.  First time I heard that name was when I was doing some monster research for a Castlevania Wiki I had been working on a while back.”

Tulpa practically gulps, “M-M-Monster...?”

“Well not really a monster,” he says back, “more like... a supernaturally, artificially created person.” 

(There are some times when my Dad can be down right spooky and creepy.  This was one of those times.)

Full Metal Alchemist immediately pops into my head, and without even hesitating, I ask, “Like a Homunculus?”

“Nah, more like...” he says before pausing his game and turning to Tulpa and I, “...an imaginary friend.”  Tulpa and I both tilt our heads in confusion.  Dad picks up on this and by now, he is practically glowing at this opportunity to share some weird thing he just happens to know something about.

He explains, “So there’s this word in Tibetan called “Sprul-Pa” which means “Manifestation”, okay?  And in early Buddhism, this is used as the explanation for how Gautama Buddha could travel to heavenly realms and come back again.  You could say he created a clone of himself in the other realm and then transmitted his consciousness to it from his body on Earth.  Kind of like a-”

By now, Tulpa and I were clearly on the same wavelength as she asks, “a Shadow Clone!?” at the exact same time I was thinking of it. Believe it!

Dad’s silent for a moment as he thinks to himself before finally going, “...uhhh... I guess... you could say that. I was thinking “Dream Body” but I suppose a shadow clone could work too.”  My Dad used to watch Naruto with me on Toonami years ago, so he knew full well what a shadow clone was.

He turns to face us as he continues talking, “The thing with a Tulpa is that it’s something made from nothing. A Homunculus, using your example, Lily, requires having the materials necessary to make an artificial being on hand before you can create them. But a Tulpa is willed into existence out of nothingness. It is created from the thoughts of the creator; known as a “Thoughtform” in some cases.”

(WHEN did my Dad even learn this stuff!?)

“The difference between a Tulpa and an imaginary friend,” my Dad continued to say, “is that while an imaginary friend is just that, someone that exists in your imagination, a Tulpa is made when someone’s thoughts are so strong that they will their imaginary friend into existence.”

I look over at Tulpa, and she is totally absorbed in what my Dad’s saying.

“Now from what I’ve read...” Oh my God, Dad! What have you even been reading!? “...it’s very difficult for one person alone to have enough psychic power to will a sentient being into creation. But if you had enough people thinking the same thing, and thinking about it hard enough, then, hypothetically, a Tulpa could be created.”

“So what you’re saying is if enough people think Bigfoot is real, then they can actually make it real just by believing in them?” I snark.

“Yeah, pretty much,” my Dad replies without detecting my snark at all.

“Or like...” Tulpa chimes in, “...how Tinkerbell is saved... by believing in fairies and... clapping hands?” I was a bit surprised Tulpa knew that since I couldn’t recall Disney’s Peter Pan having that scene in it.

Dad thinks about it for a moment, and then goes, “Hmmmmm... yeah! That too, I suppose.”

Right about then, Dad gets a notification on his phone. He pulls it out, looks at it, gets a somewhat serious look on his face, and then stands up and says, “Hey, I gotta make a phone call real quick. Mind if I...” he trails off.

“Yeah, sure thing, Dad,” I say back. He heads down the hallway to the guest bedroom and closes the door as he makes his call. It’s now just Tulpa and me in the living room, and we were both feeling super awkward. I turn to Tulpa and say, “So... did you know anything about all that?”

Tulpa shook her head, “N-n-no. First time I... I ever heard of... of it.” I could tell she was feeling nervous. She had started stuttering pretty badly.

All this time, I knew Tulpa was an apparition, but I never thought about what kind of apparition she was. It never really dawned on me that an apparition could have an origin story. With Tulpa, she was just... kind of there for me, and I never really questioned it. Her being her somehow felt, I dunno... “natural”, I guess.

I never thought I really needed to learn more about Tulpa, anyway. I mean, outside of the occasional mischief, Tulpa was perfectly harmless. Worst thing she ever did was the Pinkening (still don’t know how she did that), but that was partly on me because I was being a big dummy. Overall, she’s always been friendly, kind, and fun to be around, and that‘s always been good enough for me.

“You, uh...” I start to say, “...want to talk about it later?” Tulpa looks ahead of her kind of blankly, and I immediately add, “It’s okay if you don’t want to, Tulpa, I just-“

“Talk about what?” She asks, now looking at me kind of confused.

“About...” I trail off as I try to find the right words, “...about what my Dad just said and about... I dunno... where you came from?”

Tulpa clearly hadn’t thought about it before. She leaned back against the couch and audibly sighed (I think that was the first time I ever heard them sigh!), before saying, “I... don’t know... Lily...”

“Don’t know where you came from, or don’t know if you want to talk about it?” I asked her.

She thought for a moment before saying, “Both...”

I wanted to say something more to her, maybe give them some kind of reassurance, but I just couldn’t as long as my Dad was here! The frustration of wanting to talk about something with someone, but not being able to because of other people being around, is just AGONIZING!  If only Dad would hurry up and leave, but when he says he’s going to beat a video game, he’s going to beat a video game.  Problem was he hadn’t even made it to Dracula’s Castle yet, so who knew how much longer it would be?

Then Dad comes back in and says, “Hey, sorry about this, but I need to get going.”

HAAAAAALLEJUAH!!!

“Oh sweet merciful powers that be, THANK YOU! “  I thought to myself.  I was worried things were going to get all cringy like a bad self-insert fanfic.   “Aww, that’s too bad,” I fibbed out of politeness.  I mean, he’s my Dad and I love him and all, but... y’know...

“Yeah, I got a call from work and they need me to help out with something. ‘Fraid I have to cut my visit short, Lily.” My Dad powered off the Nintendo system and began packing it up. But then he suddenly stopped, looked up, then looked back at me and said, “Hey, you want to borrow my NES for a bit!?”

Dad suddenly leaving to take care of something for work happens every now and then, so that was no big surprise. But Dad suddenly saying he has to leave to take care of something and leave his NES in MY care!? THAT scared the pants off me!

“Oh my God, Dad... you’re not dying are you!?” I ask with a half-serious tone.

“What!? No! What gave you that idea!?” He shoots back.

“Because that’s the NES you’ve had ever since you were a kid! You have NEVER let anyone else look after it! EVER!” I remind him because it is one-hundred percent true.

His lame-sauce excuse was: “Hey, both of your uncles used to look after it!”

And then I remind him, “That’s because you all lived in the same house with grandma and grandpa!  Y’know, because you were all kids and everything!”

“They still took care of it,” he pouts.

“Only after they sneaked into your room, de-hooked it, and snuck it over to their room!  You know I’ve heard the stories at the family gatherings!, right?” This is all completely true.

————————————-

My Dad is the oldest of three, and at family gatherings, like around Thanksgiving, he and my uncles used to tell as many embarrassing stories about each other as possible like they were trying to one-up each other. Like, “Hey, remember that time you stuck a LEGO tire up your nose and had to go to the Emergency Room?”

And my uncle’s all like, “I WAS FOUR!”

Good times....

...now where was I?

Oh right!  Why leaving the Nintendo was a big deal!

————————————-

“C’mon, Dad,” I plead, “The only way I can see you willingly giving away your Nintendo, even if just for a little while, would be if you were on your death bed and filling out your last will and testament. So go on, spill it, what’s up with that?”

My Dad just had this look of offense on his face like I had seriously wounded him with my words. “I am NOT that overprotective of it!”

“Yes you are.”

“Okay, I am,” he admits way too quickly, “but I just thought that you having it might be a good idea in case you finally get some free time coming up. Best way to enjoy it is to play it, after all.”

I chuckle, “Dad, the only way work is going to give me enough time off to sit on my butt and play video games is if some horrible catastrophe caused the art store to shut down. Like, I dunno, a deadly virus or something.”

[EDIT, APRIL 12th, 2020: ME AND MY BIG FAT MOUTH!

AAARRRRGGGHHHH!!!]

Dad chuckles and say, “Yeah... you got a point there. Still, I think between you and your roommate, you’re both responsible adults now who can get some enjoyment out of it. I’m sure I can trust you two to take good care of it,” he says before raising an eyebrow, “or is there some reason I shouldn’t leave it here!?”

“Relax! We can look after it, Dad. Nothing’s going to happen to it,” I say as I whip my head back so fast it could have made a sonic boom. Just as I suspected, there was Tulpa sitting down in front of the Nintendo about ready to poke it with her finger. “Isn’t that right, Tulpa?” I say while looking straight at her.

“Y-yes...” she mutters.

Dad smiles at the two of us and then suddenly, out of the blue, he gives me this big ole bear hug and pats me on the back!  It’s the same kind of hug he gave me on my first day at school, when I was leaving for summer camp, and when I moved into my freshman dorm for college.  It was the kind of reassuring hug that says everything is going to be fine.  “Ohhhhhhh, look at you growing up and being all responsible! I’m so proud of you, Lily!”

“Dad!  Can’t breath, Dad!” I say before he finally lets go.

“Oh yeah, tomorrow, when you get a chance, make sure to pick up a couple packages of toilet paper,” he says casually, “your bathroom’s running low and now would be a good time to stock up.”

[EDIT April 12th, 2020: HE FREAKING KNEW! 

HOW!?!?!?]

“Thanks for the tip, Dad,” I respond before saying the thing that led to my Dad saying the other thing that would make my brain do somersaults for the next few hours and ultimately come to you, dear diary, “What brought up that little nugget of wisdom? Dad-ly Intuition?”  (Yes, that pun was intentional.)

“Well I’ve always considered myself to be a little psychic here and there,” he says about twenty-three seconds before the door closes and forty-five seconds before my face faults, “and you’ve always been a little psychic too, haven’t yah?”

“Sure Dad, I’ll catch you later,” I say waving goodbye.

“Take care, Lily!  Keep in touch!  Love you, sweetie!” he calls back as he’s walking into the hallway heading out,

“Love you too, Dad” I say as I close the door and lock the deadbolt. With that family obligation out of the way, I was feeling much better not having to worry about next weekend, not having to worry about Tulpa and Dad, and could just chill and relax and-

It was right about then that my eyes shot wide open as I stared ahead of me at nothing in particular.  The gears in my head started turning faster and faster as the past few months living here started to tie together.  Tulpa looks at me, slightly concerned.  She’s still in her “disguise”, but looks genuinely concerned.  She waves her hand it front of me and my mind is working at warp speed, so it doesn’t even register.

“Are you... okay... Lily?” she asks.

I slowly turn to look her in the eye, and then ask her flat out:

“Am I Psychic!?”

Thoughts on everyone in the realms?

"Short Answer; I made a chart. Not a well drawn chart, mind you, but a chart. Sometimes you don't wanna put effort into drawing 50 something faces"

"Long answer, uh....well lemme go down the list"

Claudette: My Starflower~!! She's so sweet and kind and amazing in trials and every time I see her I swoon a little- I love her so much~ Dwight: He's cute- And he's a good leader, despite his nervous personality, he knows how to bring a group together. Final guy potential. Ash: ....Don't...Tell him I said this? But uh....Evil Dead was one of my biggest comfort series, the thing that got me through losing both my parents....the thing that helped me transition, pick my name, and fueled my FX hobby. And I'm still attached, even realizing he's a real person and all- But...it's weird to just, be upfront with something like that, so I'm just...burying it as best as I can. David: He's a little rough around the edges but he’s good to have in a trial, plus when you can get past the walls, he’s nice to talk to. Kate: Her music by the campfire is calming and she’s such a sweetheart. If we were in a better situation I’d love to learn Guitar from her, but, it’s hard when you’re a moment away from a trial at any given time. Amalthea (@askthewidowstars OC): She judged my entire vibe but jokes on her I’m the one who snagged a cutie for life- Meg: If I had a dollar for every time she left me for dead I would have enough money to paint the entire campfire in solid gold. The only time we’ve ever properly talked was about SAW traps and 90% of it was her admitting she could beat every single trap because she was ‘built different’  Jeff: He’s a sweetheart and really nice to be around. Sometimes when we’re by the campfire in our downtimes I’ll let him draw on my arm. it kinda makes me want a tattoo, honestly. If we ever get out of here, I might get one. Steve: Bros!! We kinda make up team ‘Altruistic Himbo’, Plus the ‘Babysitter/Brother’ Vibes mesh really well. I kinda wanna re-style his hair though, mostly because it looks fluffy, and nice to play with.  Quentin: Bros!! We’re gonna make matching T-Shirts about committing Arson on Freddy in particular. He’s fun to hang around in our downtime, and I hope there’s a chance he can get some actual rest, even in here. He deserves it. Adam: If Dwight wasn’t the leader I feel like he’d take over the Reigns. I feel like he’s the calm type that doesn’t handle energetic types well though. Which, y’know, makes things hard.  Nea: Anytime I see her she’s either sneaking around the map and watching everyone get killed, or doing something stupid to get herself killed. I’d get grey hair if We were actually friends.  Feng: Gamer bros- I got to find out we actually played a lotta the same stuff before we were taken by the Entity. We get a chance to nerd out in between trials- Laurie: Best Final Girl hands down. I kinda hope she can teach me Decisive Strike one day- I feel like its also just a little awkward since again, still a fan of Myers Nancy: She doesn’t agree that Demo’s a good boy, which makes sense, but we but heads over it. Also I’m pretty sure she wants me dead for touching the bones around the map one too many times. They’re just too tempting.... Jake: He’s pretty quiet, but he’s helpful in trials. I heard he’s been to a convention a few times, but I don’t think he’s actually into it as much as I thought...Which kinda sucks. I’d love more cosplay buddies y’know? Yui: Kinda makes me want a motorbike. We don’t talk but she seems really cool. A little too cool to me around if that makes sense.  Yun-Jin: She benefits off of throwing everyone else under the bus. And 90% of the time she will throw everyone under the bus. Even if she needs actual help to escape the trial.  Cheryl: Cheryylll!!  She’s really cool and honestly would add her to the ‘Can kill god if she was not nerfed’ Squad. Especially since y’know, she has- I bet if we got enough of the kids together we could just beat the Entity’s ass. I know she could.  Tapp: Always been a fan of Tapp before I was taken, although I feel like he’d wanna arrest me if we weren’t in the Entity’s Realm. I might be a little too excited for my own good about Kramer’s work. I don’t think he’d believe the fact its a movie either.  Ace: He’s kinda like the Uncle of the group around the campfire, but, coming into trials, He’s still for saving his own skin- You can also only stand dad jokes for so long. Especially in an eternity like this.  Leon: He’s cool!!! I got so excited first realizing He and Jill were here, and I wanna get a chance to talk to him about everything that went down, but Haven’t got the chance. He’s nice inside of Trials though, usually doesn’t leave anyone behind. Not a fan of getting blinded though.  Jill: She knows how to lead the trials well, and I look up to her a lot. She’s always been such a badass!!  Bill: If Bill gets his hands on a weapon the entire Realm would be fucked. Badass as hell and Kinda scary. Another one on the list of ‘Entity needed to Nerf’ Felix: You’d think a Childless Father and a Fatherless son would be able to bond a bit more, but, I think we each kinda get the same vibe of homesickness from one another. He’s kind though, and it’s neat to see his work whenever we’re by the campfire.  Elodie: She’s better at helping out than most of the others, but she’s still in a survival of the fittest mindset. I loved hearing about her studies from before she was taken though. I feel like if we had more time we could dig deeper into this whole world and what its about. But we don’t get that- Zarina: We just don’t really click as much, honestly. I’d love to get to know her better but I think she’s more into digging into the killers and what she can find out about this place. Which y’know, could be better done with a team. Sage (@askthewidowstars OC): HUSBAND!!! My husband. I love him to the Moon and back. He’s amazing and I miss him even when we’re five feet apart-  ...I need a hug now-  Amanda: Best girl hands down!! We vibed a lot in between Trials talking about her traps and old designs, she was impressed by my knowledge, and we hang out in Gideon sometimes!   Ghostface: He’s pretty cute- Also fun to be around, even if he’s kind of a dick when he’s actually at work, it’s better when you’re outside of a Trial. It’s also neat to see he’s not just two idiots in a halloween costume and his own person, as much as I love the Scream Series, too-  Leatherface: Bubba!!! Honestly I’d handle being chainsawed. Fuckin Love Bubba-  Huntress: I wanna learn how to throw hatchets but I know I never will. She’s kinda scary, but also I feel like if she could adopt some of the others in the Realms, she totally would.  Oni: The only times I’ve ever really seen him is just before my skull gets bashed in. All I really have associated to him is the splitting headache.  Twins: I’m gonna punt Victor into the sun. I haven’t been good around kids beforehand and this tiny gremlin motherfucker just makes it worse.  Pinhead: I was so excited to see him!! He’s one of the few that talks more often than not in a trial, and he’s always had this air of elegance about him which makes it so much cooler! I’d be tempted to grab the box to solve it, but, at the same time Dwight’s already been hunted. I just...want to see how it works, really. Maybe if I ask nicely? Nah, probably not.  Pyramid Head: He’s so fucking COOL!!! He’s always just been really fucking cool and I still get stars in my eyes. I wanna re-create his weapon one day.  Joey: Joey’s one of the chill killers to be around, probably my favorite amongst the legion. Also Cosplay gang?? Hello? Susie: She’s cute!! I like her vibes whenever there’s not violence involved. I wonder if she’d ever get into costume making, she has the artistic eye for it. I also wonder if she’d ever dye other people’s hair...I’d kinda want green tips one day- Frank: Still wanna throw a palette at him. He’s one of the more serious of the Legion, and usually the one you’d find with a Mori. Not as Serious as Julie but only because he has the cocky god complex to go with it.  Julie:  She’s definitely the most serious out of the Legion. There’s no real rest whenever we’re in a trial against her. Scary as hell and less of a bastard than the other three.  Hillbilly: I know he deserved a lot better than this, especially after hearing more about him. I...Haven’t gotten to see much than the end of his chainsaw though.  Blight: This dude’s singlehandedly bringing back my fear of needles and I thought I lost that with HRT- Also like, dude spits up orange fuckin everywhere.  Michael: My Mans!! I always get a little excited knowing we’re up against him. It’s habit- It’s kinda weird to see him easily affected by like, palettes or flashlights though.  Spirit: She seems like she could be nice when there’s some downtime. I’m also one of the few that can understand her well enough, which probably makes things easier. I found out she’s basically my age when I survived a trial by myself. I’d hope to hang out more sometime. Nemesis: God he’s so fucking tall. Kinda surprised it was Nemesis out of everyone that could’ve been brought, and also, kinda terrified? Still am kinda terrified. I’m surprised he hasn’t just torn up an entire map yet. His zombie minions are also annoying. Wraith: All this motherfucker does is roll up to pull me off Gens and Exist as a problem. I don’t see much of him outside of a Trial. Trapper: Motherfucker Incarnate. If the Entity lets us throw hands I’m fighting him first.  Freddy: ....Gross. I liked the Nightmare on Elm Street series a lot, but...Freddy as a person? Ew. Especially this iteration.  Demogorgon: Demopuppy!! He’s a good boy and he deserves to get treats. Even if the Treats are flesh....I wonder if he likes candy though. Trickster: Pretty!! He also Gives me DIO vibes because of the Jacket and the Knife throwing...Imagine if a killer could stop time...that’d be terrifying. Deathslinger: I wanna sit down and look at his gun more but I also feel like if I ask I’d just get shot on sight. Intimidating as hell but also cool. Mary: ....Still on the very complicated ‘Ex Girlfriend that murdered me’ State. It’s hard to avoid her though. Especially since she wants to get back together since we’re stuck here. Nurse: She does not help my fear of Hospitals, honestly. While she’s easy to go up against, it’s still eugh. Plague: I really, really hate her power. The Sickness and the Vomit is just- Eughhhhh- It just hits every bad sensory issue at once.  Clown: ...I get killers are Killers and aren’t supposed to be good people but also like....Disgusting. Please Remove from the Realm. He’s just- ...Ew.  Doctor: NOPE. NO. NEVER. NO. NO. NO. NO. NO.

YES!!! 14 “Please don’t tell me you filmed that.” “Of course I filmed it.” for tarlos and maybe a little bit of that yeehaw firefam if you would be so kind thank you i love you

omg the shenanigans! thanks for getting me to branch out and attempt writing the rest of the crew! oh how i love the 126 🤠

 #14 “Please don’t tell me you filmed that.” “Of course I filmed it.”

It’s become something of a custom for the 126 to gather outside of work. Where most people would be tired of seeing their co-workers constantly, the station’s team never seems to shy away from any excuse to extend their days. Even after a long shift, just the mere mention of plans gets the crew excited.

Owen affectionately calls it family time, an opportunity for the crew to get together periodically after shifts and try different activities together. TK can’t actually say he minds the opportunity to bond even further with the team. In a lot of ways, in almost no time at all, the 126 has come together and formed quite the family, one that TK is sincerely proud to be a part of.

As an only child, he’d spent a great deal of time on his own, admittedly curious about what it would have been like to have a big brother or sister looking out for him or even what it could be like to be an older brother himself. Life was funny in the way it brought the various members of the crew into his world. Now he knew precisely what it was like to be surrounded by siblings and all the highs and lows that came with that. They could bicker amongst themselves but at the end of the day, there was nothing but love between them all.

Outings like this, bowling on a Friday night after their shift, were moments that TK has quickly come to cherish. It’s made all the more special with tonight’s guest joining in on the fun. TK’s relationship with Carlos is still new, just a month and a half underway but without question the man’s presence is always a welcomed thing at any and all times.

Owen and Michelle head over to the stand to get food and drinks for everyone, the rest of the team piling into their seats. Marjan commandeers the center console, her eyes glossing over the buttons for a moment.

“I’d just like to go on record saying that bowling is not my thing,” Paul announces the second he flops into his seat.

“Josie still hasn’t managed to teach you?” Carlos asks.

Paul smiles and TK can’t help but to do the same. He was all too happy when Josie and Paul amended things, the two of them meeting up and having a serious conversation. It had been a tentative road, one that TK had worried Paul wouldn’t care to repair. He certainly wouldn’t have faulted Paul if he decided not to but TK had easily picked up on the chemistry between them and had been hopeful that one day they’d be able to reconnect.

It’d taken a few weeks for Paul to be open to the idea of putting his heart out there with Josie again and it seemed to be paying off now.

“We, uh, kinda get distracted during lessons,” Paul says with a shrug and a smirk.

“Alright, so you’re definitely not on my team then,” Marjan quips, double checking her laces on her rentals. “How about you, Carlos? Are you any good at bowling?”

“Yeah, I’ve been playing since I was a kid.”

Marjan grins. “Excellent, you’re with me then.”

TK raises a hand in protest. “Wait, wait, wait. You can’t just start stealing all the best players for your team.”

Marjan looks to the left, then the right, then back at him.

“Says who? That’s the whole point of calling dibs,” she says. “It’s not my fault you guys are just slow.”

TK jokingly narrows his eyes at her. “Alright, then we get Judd. We need at least one solid player on our team.”

Her mouth twists to one side in thought. “Fine, I’ll allow it. Judd, I wish your back well. It’s going to take a lot to carry your team.”

“What else is new?” Judd muses.

Paul places a hand over his heart. “Ice cold, Marwani. I knew you were competitive but damn, is it really like that?”

“Oh, that’s precisely how it is.”

Carlos laughs and shakes his head. “Who knew firefighters could be so vicious?”

“Marjan is the worst of all when it comes to games,” Mateo says. “But she’s pretty much undefeated so she’s doing something right.”

TK wishes he could argue the point but Marjan’s competitive nature always gives her an extra edge over the others. Sometimes he gets to bask in the warm glow of victory if they’re paired up. Other times he has to admit defeat.

“Alright, so what are the two teams looking like?” Mateo asks Marjan.

She starts typing in her name first. “So it’s me, you, Carlos, and I think we’ll snag Cap.”

“Pitting me against my father and my boyfriend? A little cruel, don’t you think?”

Marjan laughs. “Clearly I’m out to get you today.”

She continues typing in everyone’s names until all eight are on the board. “Cool, we’re good to go.”

Judd stands up first and gets his ball from the ball return. It’s a weighty all black ball that he sends flying down the lane without much buildup at all.

TK watches it streak down the lane, tipping over eight pins.

“That’s how you knock ‘em down,” he proudly boasts, turning back to the others.

Marjan rolls her eyes but TK can see she’s actually impressed with how well Judd has done right out of the gate. Mateo has his phone out, taking pictures and videos as he always does during their get togethers.

TK sits beside Carlos, placing his head on his shoulder as they all watch Judd set up his next frame. He can feel the press of Carlos’ lips against the crown of his head and he smiles to himself at the move. TK shifts and steals a kiss, a hand resting on Carlos’ chest.

“No fraternizing with the enemy,” Paul grumbles. “Don’t make me get a hose for you two. You know I can make that happen like that,” he says, snapping his fingers for emphasis.

The crew takes turns and before long, Marjan is calling TK up to take his turn. It strikes him how odd his feet feel inside of his rentals. The floor is so much smoother than he was anticipating and he glides a bit as he heads to the ball return.

“You alright there, Happy Feet?” Judd calls out, earning a few laughs from the team.

“I’ve got this,” TK assures, placing his fingers into the holes.

“Famous last words,” Marjan says at the same time as Paul who says, “Dead man walking.”

TK picks up his ball and draws in a breath as he raises in front of him. Bowling is not his forte. The last time he stepped foot in a bowling alley had to have been when he was in high school, if not junior high. He and his friends didn’t know or care to learn the rules and that suited him just fine. This was as simple a concept as any. Even little kids were capable of knocking over pins. Surely he, an adult, could do the same too without incident.

He studies the little arrows on the floor before him all pointing towards the pins as if he needed reminding on which direction to go. TK rolls his eyes at them and lowers his arm, swinging it back. As he goes to release the ball, his wrist locks a bit. His body tugs with the momentum and it dawns on TK that this is not about to end well for him.

The ball slips from his hand clumsily and in his haste to try and maintain control, his left foot slips. It happens in the blink of an eye, the time it takes for the ball to hit the wooden floor and for his butt to do the same.

Marjan’s cackle is the loudest of them all, practically filling every square inch of the bowling alley.

Carlos is beside him quickly, holding out a hand to help him up. TK’s face burns hot with embarrassment, his backside already aching. He looks to where his friends are, Mateo’s phone angled a little too perfectly at him.

There’s only one conclusion to draw from such a sight and TK, as foolish as it is, hopes against hope that he’s wrong.

“Please don’t tell me you filmed that.”

“Of course I filmed it, are you kidding me? I’m totally making this into a boomerang. That was gold,” Mateo laughs, shoving his phone towards the others and tapping the screen.

Judd is wiping away tears from his eyes, Marjan’s cheeks are flushed, and Paul is doubled over in his seat as they watch the video. To his credit, Carlos is doing his best not to join in but his cheekbones are raised so highly on his face, his lips pressed tightly together in a valiant effort to suppress a laugh.

“You too?” TK jokingly reprimands.

“I’m sorry but if you saw it go down like we did…,” he trails off, placing a kiss against TK’s temple.

TK groans and buries his face against the side of Carlos’ neck as he wraps an arm around his waist.

“What’s going on here? We leave you all for five minutes and you guys are falling to pieces,” Owen says, Michelle just a step behind him, their hands filled with packed trays of nachos and drinks.

“I got you, Cap. Look at this,” Mateo says a little too eagerly, surrendering his phone to Owen.

TK groans yet again and Carlos merely pulls him in a little closer as the team watches the two captains view the video. It’s mortifying but the crew relishes in it, watching eagerly. TK can hear the bowling ball thud and a second later himself. The laughter of the crew plays back, only this time with his own father’s laugh and Michelle’s joining the mix in real time.

“Is this online? That’s just what this station needs, another firefighter going viral.”

I thought parents didn’t have favorites.

anonymous asked: hi! could i request a dad!harry imagine where he favors one child over the other and causes some angst in the family? thanks!

Hope you liked it!

Words count: 2.2k

Angst to Fluff/ Dad!Harry

It was 6 pm, and Y/N was at the kitchen preparing Creamy mushroom pasta for dinner, her children’s favorites, Harry also liked, but not as much as the kids.

“Mom, is dad going to be home soon? I am so excited to show him my drawing!” Maya said while sitting on the couch looking proudly at her colored paper “Do you think he will like it?”

Y/N looked at her with soft eyes “Of course he will honey, is such a beautiful picture.” She goes near her daughter and puts her arm around Maya “My favorite part is the sunflowers in the back, I think it’s gonna be your dad’s favorite part too”.

“Well, I hope so!” Maya says looking happily at her mom.

she was such a beautiful girl, she was kind, smart. Different from her dad, she did not like to be the center of attention, in fact, Y/N and Harry found out she was a little artist just two years ago because she didn’t like others to see her sketches, the poor girl was too insecure about it, but Harry was trying to teach her how to be more confident. She had a lot of talent for twelve-year-old.

Y/N came back to reality when she hears a loud noise coming from downstairs, the basement, where Harry decided to make a little studio for himself, but the one person who was always there wasn’t Harry, but their son, Charlie.

Different from Maya, her brother loved being in the spotlight, he was outgoing and friends with everybody. He was the copy of Harry, from personality to talent. Charlie loves to sing, write songs, and play his guitar, but sometimes he would just go too far at the last thing, like right now.

Y/N makes her way downstairs, watching her son giving a real rock concert, she smiles at herself, he was so much like Harry…

“Hey little Rockstar, can you keep down, please?”

“But mom, a rock show without a loud guitar’s solo is not a rock show” The boy whines.

“Good thing we are at home, and not at a Rockshow, right?”

“I guess…” Charlie says “Mom when dad will be home? I want to show him my new guitar’s moves.”

“You and your sister just want to know about your father, huh?” She says pulling her hand to her chest, pretending to be hurt. “I am pretty cool too, just so you know”

Charlie laughs and gives his mom a hug.

“Mom, you are pretty cool, but dad is cooler”

“Such a kind boy I raised” She laughs, kissing him on the head.

She makes her way back to the kitchen, to finish the dinner, when she gets there, she notices Maya wasn’t in the living room anymore, assuming she went to her room, Y/N keeps doing her business.

Around 7 pm, Y/N heard the door open, and Harry shows up by the kitchen.

“Hi darling, how was your day,” Harry says kissing his wife.

“Really good, me and the kids just chilled all day long, what about yours?”

“It was really productive, just find a different way to do the melody of track 6 of the album, I can’t wait to show it to Charlie, he will love it so much!”

Y/N wasn’t surprised by his declaration, Charlie and Harry always had this special bond between them, Charlie’s love for music just made it all stronger. Sometimes she worried about Maya getting jealous of their relationship, but she never showed any type of different behavior. But Y/N would be lying if she said she didn’t wish Harry and Maya were closer.

As Harry would cross the door of the kitchen, Maya showed up, with the brightest smile on her face. “Hi dad,” she says hugging him, he did the same. “Look the drawing that I made!”

She shows him, but Harry didn’t even take the drawing to look closer, actually, his eyes lays on the picture for a few seconds.

“Hi! it’s cute, honey” He pats her head and goes to the basement, to find Charlie.

Y/N sees the worst sight a mom could see, her daughter’s face falling because of sadness, the little tears starting to pour from Maya’s eyes.

Before Mays can say anything, Y/N is there to hug her.

“Shh baby, mommy is here” She doesn’t hear anything but her sobs.

“Mom, why da-dad always wants to be with Charlie?” She tights her arms around her mother “Dad never want to spend ti-time with me-me, or give me at-attention, I thought that parents didn’t have favorites, but dad ob-obviously does! Mays cries even harder.

“Baby, come on, let’s talk in your room, ok?”

Both goes to Maya’s room, Y/N puts her on her lap, like she used to do when Maya was a toddler.

“Maya, I want you to listen to me, ok?” She grabs her daughter’s chin, she was now looking at her teary green eyes “Your dad loves you so much baby, you are his whole world! When he found out we were having a baby girl he cried for a whole week, you know?”

“He did mom?”

“Yes! You are his little girl”

“I wish I was a little girl forever, maybe then dad would like me as much as he likes Charlie”

The sadness in her voice makes Y/N want to cry “Maya, your dad loves you both the same, the only difference is that your dad can get really worked up about his music, and turns out that Charlie has the same excitement and passion as your dad. Charlie isn’t his favorite or the one he loves the most, he is just the one that shares more common interests.

“I love you mom” She says, “But can I sleep now? I don’t wanna go down there, not right now.”

“Yes baby, but tomorrow you have to eat a lot on breakfast, ok, since you don’t want to have dinner.”

“Ok mom” Y/N gives Maya a kiss on the forehead, and before she lives the room she hears her voice “Mom, I heard you and Charlie earlier, and I think you are the coolest”

Y/N laughs “Thank baby, good dreams”

Her smile leaves her face as soon as she left the room, Y/N has never been more pissed at Harry than she is right now, she goes to find him in the little studio downstairs. As she approaches, she hears both laughing, her heart softens a little.

“Hi guys”

“Hi Mom”

“Hi baby’

Y/N sits on the little puff next to Harry “Hey Charlie, could you let mom and dad talk a little in private? Please?”

Charlie looks at Harry, that looks at you with confusion on his face.

“Ok mom” He hangs the guitar on the wall, but before he left the room, his mother says “If you want to eat dinner you can, it’s ready, just be quiet because your sister is sleeping”

“Alright,” The boy answers, leaving the room completely.

“Why is Maya sleeping already? Is she ok?” Harry askes with worry in his voice.

“No Harry, she is not ok!” You left the puff and stand in front of his sit “she was crying because her father doesn’t give the attention she deserves”

“Wait, what? I made her cry?” He stands in front of her “And what do you mean I don’t give attention to her? I always do” He says, feeling hurt hearing such nonsense.

“No Harry, you don’t, when it comes to your free time you always favorites Charlie over Maya, don’t get me wrong baby, I love the bond you have with him, but it is hurting Maya that you don’t have a special solo time with her.” She looks at her husband, there was concern on his face, he opened his mouth, but closed right away.

“She was so excited to show you her drawing Harry, you had to see the smile on her face, she was counting the seconds for you to come home so she could show you, but you didn’t even look, baby.” She stares at his green eyes, the same as Maya, and sees tears rolling down his cheeks.

“I am such a bad dad” He breaks in front of Y/N, both adults hug each other.

“No Bub, none of that, you are an amazing dad, the best of all” The girl says, feeling her heart crumbling, in one hour she saw 2 of the 3 most important people in her life crying.

“Good dads don’t make their daughters cry, Y/N” Both of you sit on the floor, you are still hugging him, “And I didn’t notice I was favoriting Charlie over Maya when it comes to attention, you know?” He looks at you, his face washed with tears and sadness.

You passed the thumb in his face, taking away the tears.

“Is just easy for me to talk to Charlie, he likes the same things as me. I am aware Maya is my kid, but sometimes she intimidates me” He says laughing between is cry “She is so smart and knows so much about art and everything in general, last week we went to the market together, and she started to talk about European Vanguards, and I just couldn’t keep up with the conversation, ‘cus I know nothing about it” He laughs even harder, this time you follows him.

“Damn, I feel like crap,” Harry says, getting serious again “I was just so excited to share the new melody with baby number 2 that I forgot about baby number 1,” He says

“First, they are not babies anymore, are they?” She smiles sweetly at him “Second, parents are still people, baby, they make mistakes. Remember the time Charlie broke his feet playing in the tree?“ Harry nods his head yes “Remember how I go extremely protect over him because I didn’t want him to be hurt again? You showed me I was wrong about it, and we talked, and I cried, I felt like the worst mom in the world, but then you told me it was alright”

“So, now I am the one telling you it’s alright” She pecks him on the lips.

“Thanks, wifey, I love you” Both of them get up off the floor. “Hey, would mind if tomorrow me and Maya spent the day together? It’s not gonna fix everything, but at least I can apologize to her”

“No baby, not at all, Charlie and I could also use some alone time too.”

“Ok, tomorrow I will be taking her to have breakfast and spend the whole day together”

“Ok, so now let’s go sleep, tomorrow you gonna have a busy day”

//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

It was not a surprise Harry found Maya in the kitchen so early in the morning, both are early birdies, what did surprise Harry was the lack of conversation between them, when his little girl did not wish him good morning, he realized how much he screwed up.

As she was about to take her cereal in her bowl he sits by her side.

“Hey baby, I just want to say that I am so sorry about yesterday or on any other occasion I didn’t give you the attention you deserve.” She looks at him for the first time since the incident, unlike Charlie, who looked so much like him, Maya was the perfect mix, her little green eyes and her mouth were exactly like Harry’s, but her hair and nose were all her mom’s.

“Daddy loves you so much Maya, you have no Idea-‘’Before he can continue, Maya hugs him, he felt tears in the corner of his eyes.

“It’s ok dad, mom explained to me last night, you and Charlie have the same passions so it’s easier for you to spend time together.”

“No baby, it’s not ok, I wasn’t being a good dad, I love you, to the moon and back, and I love spending time with you, I am genuinely sorry.”

“I forgive you dad, and I love you too, you are the best dad!”

He kisses her head softly “What about both of us have a day just for us?”

“Really dad?” The girl questions smiling brightly “I would love to! What are we going to do?”

“Well, I was thinking of getting breakfast at the doughnut shop and then we can go to a daddy/daughter art class, what do you think?”

“Only if I can order the doughnut with extra chocolate,” The girl says smiling.

“Whatever my baby wants, now let’s got, go change your clothes and please, bring your drawing for dad, ok? I need to admire the masterpiece my little artist did” He pats her head.

“Ok dad!”

He sees her leaving to her room, the amount of love he has for this daughter is incalculable, and he won’t bear to the reason for her tears again, because she is just too angelic to feel sad, and she looked just like her mother when crying.

Now that I have time and some motivation let's get down to business.

Paz also has tattoos for you,

One of your name in mando'a,

Second of the star constellation that you spotted on your trip, we love our wiccan king,

He'd 10000% be the guy to get his child's birth date tattooed,

Paz posting his precious doggo on instagram?,

Oh or Paz starting a culinary YouTube channel???,

And also showing his of the grid lifestyle?,

showing his animal rescue and promoting adoptions!,

He is buffy, handsome, funny, loves children and animals, dresses good and is the best chef, so there are many fanboys and fangirls in his comments thirsting over him,

When the comments asking if he is single get too overwhelming, he asks you to tune in for some vlogs,

You'd definitely film a mukbang video!!,

And also these crazy spicy noodle challenges,

Boba accidentally disliking all of Paz' videos?? (we are still onto tech-grandpa Boba? 😂),

You have to make sure that he doesn't post any pictures done by his hand,

He'd retweet funny clips of cats and cute pictures from Jango Investigation company's official profile,

Also him leaving embarrassing comments on your profile?

Or not knowing that there is function to dm you on instagram,

So he comments on your recent holiday trip picture ''you looked good in this swimsuit princess, shame on me I tore it apart'' or ''looking tempting babygirl, be ready, sir will be home soon'',

Din doesn't really care for sm?,

Like he used to be a casual user,

But one day people were flooding his comments and dms, spamming him with @pascalisapunk,

He noticed that you were watching youtube kids with Grogu,

(oh now I hope you will know what is going on) Grogu really likes watching cocomelon,

So Din tricked him to watching PewDiePie instead,

You don't like it tho, thinking these videos are too edgy and stupid for both of them,

''Din you've watched too many of these videos and you became a brain-rotten himbo I don't want the same to happen to our son!'',

Din and Grogu playing Minecraft together? 🥺,

Also Paz has the best town in Animal crossing for sure!,

Surprise, surprise Boba actually likes and knows how to(!!!) play Mafia game (well it's from 2002 so maybe that's why lol),

But he is the king of board games,

Especially Monopoly!!!

Also not to mention cars games,

He made you play strip poker with him 😳,

Paz and you doing a baby shower at his restaurant!!,

Imagine big daddy bear Paz with a little babygirl 😍😍😍, (Bummer that we don't have an official name for the Armorer, could be honored by Paz naming his baby after her 😭),

Grogu telling his friends at school that his daddy is also an actor lol,

Few days later bunch of 5 year olds are asking him if this is the way to the restroom, if he can bring in some hot chocolate, and doing the baby yoda batuu sound at him lol,

Poor Din, but he secretly loves it, he just loves children,

So imagine his combustion when you tell him that you are having a little Djarin 😍,

Paz helping with babyshower??,

And Boba is totally on buying you a new, bigger apartment as a gift lol,

''What, Djarin? Can't have my little nephew and favorite sister-in-law who is pregnant living in your excuse of an apartament'' lol Boba has no chill,

Grogu gets addicted to bubble tea,

And it isn't because of your introduction, you knew better not to let him drink too often,

But everyday, after coming back from the kindergarten Din and Grogu would stop by your favorite bubble tea shop,

Grogu totally wants a little brother!,

And Din is thinking about a little babygirl or better, why not both, or even better two little boys and a little girl and Grogu being their big bro 😍,

You better be ready for some intensive wrestling sessions,

You and Din have no idea why, but lately, he seems to cum A LOT MORE,

When Boba carries out the tradition you are pregnant,

Pregnant with twin boys,

And the look identical, like they were literally cloned 😉,

Boba wouldn't throw a huge babyshower,

He is too afraid after the incident involving you and the rival syndicate,

Actually Boba decided that you should move from the downtown, to live in a more low-key area,

So you are now living in a palace 😉 in the suburbs

Boba gets you a private driver and a bodyguard,

But most of the time he tries to drive you to work since you both have offices in the downtown area,

Your daily commute can get really pleasurable for both of you 😳,

Boba has his own shooting range lol, king of extra right?

One day when you were babysitting Grogu at your place you found out that Boba was teaching the kid about shooting,

You were furious,

''C'mon princess, haven't I told you about me and my father? He showed me how to use a gun when I was even younger than Grogu'',

Srsly, this man,

Giving him a death glare you take Grogu and treat him for some bubble tea

-🐣

Oh yeeesss let's get to business....

Paz's tattoos 😭😭😭 so cute (kind of reminds me of my dad, he has all of our names)

Paz totally has an Instagram dedicated to Ad'ika

Paz being thirsted after on his YouTube is so cute

But his followers also really ship the two of you, because you both are just couple goals

Paz makes you the cutest anniversary video and posts it to his YouTube

Paz is a total gamer, he absolutely loves Animal Crossing and he makes a whole section of his town dedicated to you

Paz throws the absolute cutest baby shower and anyone and everyone is invited

You both decide to wait until after the baby is born to find out the gender, and Paz has a raffle going on at the restaurant where people can guess the gender

Armorer = Amira? Amara? Andromeda??

He makes you both cute matching sweaters for your characters

Paz is the one that introduced Grogu to minecraft

Boba cause so much havoc on social media

He totally is leaving thirst comments under your pictures on Instagram not realizing everyone else can see them too

You have a Instagram set up for Fennec too because she is just so photogenic, at least when you take the pictures

I think Boba is actually pretty proficient at using Twitter, and its more or less because he uses it to stalk people 9/10

You have a tumblr where you tease and make fun of Boba, mostly posting quotes or the silly pictures that Boba takes

Boba totally dominates at any board game, but especially Monopoly

That game of strip poker did not last long at all, and you think Boba quite literally was hiding aces up his sleeves

Boba makes sure you are always thoroughly satisfied before he drops you off at work every morning

When Boba finds out you're pregnant he celebrates, and its huge

He starts going all out buying anything and everything he can/wants

When he finds out its twin boys he is over the moon

Names for the boys, Jango and Jaster? Rex and Cody??

Boba totally buys some big house outside of town, that has anything and everything you could ever ask for

It also has a panic room and state of the art safety because Boba isn't taking chances with you or the boys

Also, bringing the babysitting saga to the modern au 😭😭

You walk in on Boba handing Grogu a gun and you flip out, yelling at him

He just shrugs and you take Grogu away and say that your kids WILL N O T learn how to do any of that stuff until they are atleast teenagers

Boba pouts because you ruined his and Grogu's bonding time

When Din comes to pick up Grogu, Grogu looks him in the eye and says "cocksucker"

Din has a heart attack and Boba laughs as you yell at him asking where he heard that

Grogu says that he heard uncle Boba say it while on the phone

Din tries to follow Paz’s recipes from his YouTube, and it always turns out badly and you have to come in and save it

Din totally loves Pewdiepie's humor

Din gets frustrated with social media and ends up just making an empty account so he can follow you and watch videos, but after the whole Pedro Pascal disaster he never posts anything

Grogu and you are his profile picture though

When Grogu goes around telling the kids at school he is the mandalorian he just sighs

And when all of the kids start quoting the show, he just starts quoting them back so they will stop bothering him

When Din announced the pregnancy Paz got so excited to have another nephew/niece

Paz lets Din hold the baby shower at the restaurant and he makes all of the food, including little gender reveal cake pops

Paz gifts the two of you a photo album at has pictures of the two of you and grogu, but it is still half empty so you can add more memories of your expanding family

Boba just hands Din house keys a day says the place is paid off and he's covering the bills for the first year (he also had a nice play set built in the backyard for Grogu)

am i the only one who feels like Coach Hedge was almost completely unnecessary? Like, not to come on your blog and complain but I feel you would understand or be able explain why this angry war goat with zero personality traits was Rick's satyr of choice

Coach plays pretty well to say that not all nature spirits are calm or timid the way Grover initially was, plus he momentarily peeks into the life of an older satyr, with his whole “i was sent to wilderness because the council saw me fuck up and i’m getting old”.... But my whole issue is that most of the characters could’ve improved if Riordan just wrote a side story for them. Like, maybe he’s searching for Leo with Jason and Piper because those three are the kids he’s supposed to be protecting, and he has to act more serious to comfort those two, while  dealing with fucking up again, but LOL he’s also wearing a baby carrier and Chuck is teething. like... short stories really could make a character and build relationships that don’t have time in the main series but instead we got... nachoes. 

Anyway, here’s what Coach Hedge could’ve done (and this is primarily lost trio based as he was their protector but later applies to the rest of the scooby gang):

He could’ve played into the father role for the lost trio. Jason and Leo didn’t grow up with parents and probably could’ve used an actual adult to depend on, while Piper gets the attention she wanted, as well as her having an adult to talk to about her demigod issues 🥰 This works pretty well ESPECIALLY with a milder Millie to balance out Hedge’s roughness and play as a hesitant mothering figure

Found family with the lost trio is very important but like.... Hedge could’ve and should’ve been apart of that, if he explicitly mentioned having empathy bonds with them. After Jason dies in TBM, having Hedge off-handedly say “I’m getting too old for this, it’s too much” or something, would’ve been VERY cool to see, because it shows, A, sign that yes, being a demigod can wear down even the most excited souls, B, there was actually some love shared between them all over the past year, C, how satyrs react to the death of their protected

On the flip side, him on the Argo could’ve show the kids, that not even adults have it figured out and that literally no one has any clue what’s going on, and living longer doesn’t mean you’ll figure it out. And like, the only reason why this doesn’t really work is cause no one paid too much attention to Hedge anyway so... dunno

Could’ve served as a better mentor to the kids. Idk, scene where he trains Piper or teaches her about his dumb healing Gatorade. Probably could’ve did more with Frank, but that seemed a little last minute anyway. hazel probably could’ve had some fun asking about horses and nature and horses and magic and horses and horses and hor-

In all honesty, Hedge could’ve been left home at CHB, and there could’ve been points where the Lost Trio IM’d him 🤔 like that scene in HoH where they figure out that the prophecy was for them, could’ve just had Hedge figuring it out with them. At the somber moment, when they realize someone is probably going to die, Hedge interrupts, a little pale in the face, with some “YEAH BUT NOT IF I KILL GAEA FIRST” and then they slowly laugh, Piper meaningful thanking him with her eyes or some shit i dunno, but like, something about those three feeling frustrated and calling back Hedge to talk, and while he’s totally useless, it always made them feel better

So.... I also typed that last point knowing that in TLH, literally every time Hedge speaks, Jason gets annoyed, and it’s the funniest thing ever. Hedge would say something, and Jason would go 😐 and say the equivalent of “That’s Great, Gleeson.” I just think that’s a funny dynamic considering it’s Jason who doesn’t have much of a problem with people but DAMN when Coach speaks, he’s all 😐🙂😐

I forgot what this ask was saying, but yeah, it’s probably just to contrast Grover, but like, idk Hedge could’ve been interesting... That short story would be hella cool too, cause while they’re sad about losing their friend, he looks down at his baby and thinks about losing Chuck and Mellie, and how Hedge felt Leo die cause of a link, and he just says something like  “have I ever told you guys how I ended up at Wilderness? The real story.” .... something like that, you know?