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inkskinned · 11 months

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one of the things that's so frustrating is how often the arguments against us are actually happening to us. we said - you need to watch out, this will evolve into allowing fascism into legal statute. and we were told: you're a sensitive snowflake. you're annoying and stupid and have no concept of reality. nobody really believes that stuff.

but it's indoctrination for kids to even see queer people. it's grooming for kids to even be around queer people. it's disgusting to even put rainbows on kids clothes. it's inappropriate, shameful, still-an-argument. like any of this is new - we know already. for you, even seeing someone unashamed is the same thing as "forcing" it onto you. because god-forbid you confront any internal thought you have. because god-forbid you practice empathy. rage is better, i guess. it keeps you pretty.

this has always been the way of some people - a while ago, it would have been "sinful" for my white mom to marry my hispanic dad. once, in the year of our lord 2015, someone told me that "mutts" deserve a woodchipper. that one particular insult stayed with me - not because it was the first or last, but because there was something so unbelievably violent about it that i couldn't figure out how to hold it. the idea that someone is so assured of their bigotry and rage that they would paint this kind of a picture. even jokingly, even with the anonymity of the internet, it kind of centered things for me. a sense that, for some people, their rage burned so unimaginably large that it blocked even the basic fact of my humanity.

at one point, while i still had enough fire in me to get into long arguments, one of the bigots i was "debating" (being harassed by) said: to be honest, it's about the sex, not the love. between you, me, and the four walls of this blue hellsite, i actually didn't really care for "love is love" as the slogan of our community. it seemed so placid, so gentle, so ally-focused. where was the vitriol? where was the hours i spent agonizing over myself? where was the quiet moments of my life, filled with the sound of other people's hatred? this static that settles over everything; even for the action of holding her hand.

the world is unfair. i am an adult, and without the veneer and small-pond syndrome of my teenage years, the slogan has started sounding more desperate. the more places i went, the more people i met. love is love. love is defending him on a rooftop bar. the drink she throws at me goes down into my shoes while i stand there, wishing i had a better retort than what the fuck. love is both of us, keeping our heads down, the black SUV full of frat boys (?) pulled up next to us, howling, for five whole blocks, until we both gave up and had to stick our bare legs into the thicket by the side of the road, giving over into tick country rather than let it go on any longer. love is a lazy spring afternoon, my hand on her belly, the fan spinning overhead. did you hear the whole thing about target?

did you hear about being the target? that's a fun little parallel, isn't it. it almost feels like the game that-is-about-me is being played without-my-participation. someone wants to set fire to my life, and i have to wait for a response from a capitalist institution. i am watching a tiktok where a white woman under white lights complains about adult swimsuits, even though i think a lot of people would benefit from having swimming options that are not "instagram-inspired bikini" or "impossible to move in but otherwise pretty".

sometimes it just seems so fucking stupid. like, just to check, the rage you feel and the hatred - you could really just avoid all of that by minding your fucking business. sometimes (and this is true): it's not about you, and people don't need your permission. like, i don't understand any obsession with sports, but it seems to make other people happy. american football literally results in grievous bodily injury - and yet there are onesies for babies that say future quarterback. i personally don't love it, so i just don't buy that stuff. i walk by it, and don't let it bother me. there have been so, so, so many times that i was told - "so what if he's a little bit homophobic, if you don't like him, don't watch his movies." "so what if they fired her. don't buy their product." "so what if they wouldn't make a rainbow cake. just don't support them."

sometimes i feel the meaning of it scud against my body, an orca whale inside of me, threatening the boat. it is too large to see from my place; this shadow of a thing that dwarfs my petty other-concerns. i need to find a dress for an event, and florida is passing more anti-gay legislation. i need to text my friend back and confirm our plans, and someone is throwing beer bottles to the floor in a walmart because a different case had rainbows on them. it is a long fall, if i look down into it; this sense like the bottom doesn't exist. like i have only ever dipped my toes in.

sometimes i am unbelievably tired of talking about it. it feels like it has become too trite in my own poetry - queer writer complains about the state of the world! how original! - and then something else happens, and i am here again. i remember that it isn't a moment. i remember it isn't a scattered population of cartoon evil-doers, intent on world domination from behind handlebar mustaches. it is a concerted effort of real people with real power who really-do want to see my end. it is a lifetime of dodging the beercan as it sails out of the back of the van. it is a lifetime of not-kissing once we leave the apartment. it is a lifetime of watching someone protest our existence and then, very slowly, giving them the finger. it is a lifetime of holding my friends' hands and hearing the same agony in their life that i lived through. it is us, together, our faces turned upwards, the night sky so vast, milky way overhead like a lacework zipper.

it is a lifetime of staring down woodchippers.

#writeblr #this got away from me #i love you #whereever you are. u are mine. i am yours. i am sorry this is happening

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callsign-novara · 3 months

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Hi!!

I love the stalker Valeria story so far and would def like to see a part 2!!!!

STALKER!VALERIA x READER PT.2

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Content warnings: violence, Swearing, paranoia, stalking, dark romance, wlw, obsessive behavior, stalker territory, breif mention on Offing one self, terror.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~♡~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Cigarette smoke wafts through the air, the smoke dancing away in the wind. Alcohol on the tounge of the hundreds around, music blaring in the back. Bodies move on the roof of the building, celebrating yet another victory, But she isn't happy, no.

Instead, her mind is filled with frustration, anger, and desperation. Her men are smiling, having fun, celebrating their rightful victory but still..her hearts heavy with hatred. She stands, brushing off her black shirt with her hands, she turns to a gaurd and tells him that she'll be back. She walks through the halls of the well kept building until she's outside roaming the streets of Las Almas, the closer she gets the less anger fuels the flame within her.

Dogs scurry past the woman, tails tremble between their legs. Her steps are confident, eyes calculating. She looks like sweet sweet death, a gorgeous thing but deadly and violent.

Her breaths become heavier when her eyes lock onto her target walking through the slight rain. Her hands are sweaty with excitement as her Prey was about to walk into see the little surprise she left. She's watched you for a long time. Months on end watching your every move, she knows when you leave for work, when you have classes, what classes, when you fall asleep, shower..she knows everything.

She loves how you've become frightened of the night, scared to turn corners waiting for her to pop out of the shadows. But she won't do that, no, she's not stupid. She'll carefully wait, leaving you small little gifts here and there letting you know she's always watching.

She'll make you fear going to sleep without checking your locks a thousand times a night, She'll make you have to check over your shoulder every minute, she'll have you go crazy and then she'll pounce.

She watches from a dark alley way as you make your way up to you apartment. A cozy little place, but it's small.

She could give you so much more. So much better.

She watches you with a wide grin, watching as you freeze when you see her little gift left on you pillow case. She watches the panic, the horror and terror rush through you and she ears it up like candy.

She watches as you check your locks, and close your blinds. She can still see you the gaps of the blinds prominent despite you closing them. The glint of a knife catches her gaze. Pretty and smart, huh? Clever little mouse.

She waits, lurks in the shows outside your apartment for hours on end, just waiting. Soon, she makes her move,stalking up the stairs of the apartment building until she gets yo your door. A couple Bobby pins and a little jiggle and she's in.

Not very safe, no. But nothing can keep her away from you. She glides through the shadows until she's in your room, her footsteps are silent, she's careful not to wake you.

She watches.

Counting the rise and fall of your breaths, you look like a sleeping goddess tangled up in the sheets, and the sight makes her hungry. Hungry for you. Hungry for more.

A smirk crosses her red stained lips, you're just a little mouse running through her maze of fear and Deception. She owns everything in Las Almas Anyway, why shouldn't she own you? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~♡~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A/N: Thank you all so so s much for the support on the first part of this, I wasn't expecting much but it seems alot of you like it. And thanks to the anon above, my first ask!! I appreciate it greatly and i hope this part lives up to your guy's standards, a little POV from Vals view.

This story is going to be dark, and I highly suggest you read all the cw before reading. This story will switch povs throughout it and it might get confusing, so I'll always put who's pov it is in the authors note!

Thank you so much again for the support, and the next part should be coming up soon. 💋

~Nova

#cod #cod x reader #lesbian #valeria garza x reader #call of duty x reader #sapphic #wlw #valeria cod #cod mw2 #valeria garza #dark romanticism #stalker #stalking fantasy #obsessive love #obsessive yandere #actually obsessive #obsession #obsessive thoughts

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snigora · 6 months

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The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes

I'm fricken obsessed with this book and I had to write something about it, but I’ve never done something like this before so hopefully this is coherent!

Spoilers for The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes

I want to talk about the differences in how Coriolanus (I’m just gonna call him Snow I cbb writing out his whole first name) perceives Lucy Gray and Sejanus, and how that leads him to his conclusion about human nature at the end of the novel. Because I think Lucy Gray and Sejanus are two sides of the same coin – to Snow, they both come from the districts, they are both pacifists, and they both have a desire for freedom from the reign of the Capitol. But Snow claims to love Lucy Gray and has a constant dislike, even hatred, of Sejanus. So, what’s the difference between them?

Snow starts out the book as a sort of blank slate, not having come down on either side of the humans are inherently good or humans are inherently evil debate (although it could be argued that his actions always tended towards the belief of inherent violence – but that’s not what this is about). His belief is only completely solidified at the very end, after seeing everything Sejanus and Lucy Gray have done. Given one of the major themes in the book is control versus chaos, I believe that both Lucy Gray and Sejanus represent chaos, with Dr Gaul representing control and Snow definitively falling on that end of the spectrum in the story’s finale. Snow’s close relationship with both the chaos characters is certainly what drives him to his conclusion about human nature, and his desire to control it.

Sejanus is looked down upon by pretty much everyone in the Capitol because of his district heritage. Snow is no exception to this – the only difference between his attitude towards Sejanus and the general attitude of others in the Capitol is his desire to be different from everyone else, falsely leading Sejanus to believe that Snow is his friend (Chapter 1, p17*). Snow has no interest in actually being Sejanus’s friend, but Sejanus latches on to him, much to Snow’s annoyance. As the story progresses, it becomes clear that Sejanus’s loyalty lies with District 2, not with the Capitol, which is something that Snow cannot fathom. With his prejudice against the districts, Sejanus’s defence of them is something that fuels Snow’s dislike of him. Sejanus’s trajectory of rebelliousness starts small, with going out of his way to do District 2 funeral rites for tributes who die, and standing up to Dr Gaul, to actively putting himself in dangerous situations. None of his rebelliousness is violent in nature, but it all challenges Snow’s beliefs in a way that he doesn’t want to be challenged. Their ‘friendship’ causes Sejanus to often confide his plans in Snow, which Snow desperately tries to dissuade him from doing, primarily because it would reflect badly on himself. But no matter how hard he tries, Sejanus always ends up doing what he thinks is right in his eyes. Snow values control, he says so many times throughout the book, and Sejanus is someone he cannot control.

Lucy Gray, on the other hand, is someone he sees as beneath him, because she is not from the Capitol. However, Lucy Gray does not particularly strongly associate herself with the districts because of the Covey. She just sees herself as someone who unfortunately ended up in District 12, which allows Snow to justify his continued prejudice while simultaneously falling for her. But the main difference between Lucy Gray and Sejanus is that Lucy Gray’s unpredictability and ‘chaos’ always reflects well on Snow because it draws attention to her as a tribute and as his tribute. She is also very much dependent on him for survival in the Capitol, making him feel in control of her. Lucy Gray says she believes everyone has an inherent goodness in them, and that is reflected in the ways she perceives Snow – everything he does, which we know is out of self-interest, she interprets as a selfless act. So really, she falls for a façade of Snow. She sees all the good in him and voices it often, making him feel validated. He finds her alluring because she is different, she reflects well on him as a tribute, and he sees her as a controllable sort of ‘chaos’. He starts to realise that she’s not as controllable as he’d like – that she has a life outside of him in District 12 and that’s when his affections for her start to slip, and that, along with other events, leads him to ultimately turn on her completely.

So, how do these two similar yet different people influence Snow’s view of human nature? The conclusion Snow draws at the end of the story (mildly influenced by his upbringing and Grandma’am, and majorly influenced by Dr Gaul) is that the Games must continue to constantly remind people about the inherent savagery of humanity, which he thinks people will inevitably revert to if the Capitol loses control. In Sejanus, he sees how his pacifist actions always end up with more violence – when he tries to trade tributes with Snow because he sympathises with his own district, and Marcus ends up dying horrifically; when he disappears into the arena and Snow has to retrieve him, the tributes band together to try and kill them; and when he colludes with the rebels in District 12, which causes the death of Mayfair, Billy Taupe, and Sejanus himself. In Lucy Gray, it’s how he sees her behave in the arena, seemingly killing people with ease; he believes that Billy Taupe’s death is her fault, and that he will end up like him if he stays with her; and when she leaves the snake to bite him in the woods.

Finally, the actions of Sejanus and Lucy Gray also cause Snow to realise the violence within himself. When he escapes the arena with Sejanus and is ambushed by the tributes, he kills a tribute (Bobbin?) out of self defence without a second thought. This shakes him up and causes him to start giving thought to Dr Gaul’s idea of human’s natural state being violent. When he catches Sejanus with the contraband, he ends up killing Mayfair, this time out of self-preservation. After this, he has an active role in the murder of both Sejanus and Lucy Gray, convincing him of his own need, and from there everyone’s need, to be under the control of the Capitol to keep the peace.

This turned into more of a ramble. But I haven’t had a chance to talk about these ideas with anyone yet (and I’ve only read the book once and I may have made errors), so I’m very open to discussion!

*I have the movie tie in edition of the book

#the ballad of songbirds and snakes #tbosas #lucy gray baird #coriolanus snow #sejanus plinth #dr gaul #human nature #the hunger games #chaos vs control #the ballad of songbirds and snakes spoilers #tbosas spoilers #me #hunger games analysis #the ballad of songbirds and snakes analysis #book analysis #tbosas analysis

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somnefarious · 10 months

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In your PROFESSIONAL opinion, what are the major types of hypnosis itself? Perhaps that’s too broad, but I believe I mean how the hypnosis interacts and affects the target? (Confusion, corruption, etc). Sorry if this is pretty general, but I’ve really loved the breakdowns on certain tropes and aspects involving the topic!

Oh, that is pretty broad. Well, if we're not going into specifics and going with the broadest types (and I'm going to be limiting this to fictional depictions of hypnosis that are often seen in media):

Confusion - often mixed with smooth/fast-talking, 'convinces' the person to be or stay in a brainwashed state. Starts off saying something that the person agrees with, but gradually changes and guides the hypnotized person's dazed thoughts and opinions in the conversation until they're agreeable. They eventually can't grasp their own thoughts or fully understand what they're doing or why, so they blindly follow what their hypnotist tells them to do. I thought about including focused based hypnosis (eyes, pendulums, etc) as it's own category, but I think it falls into Confusion style nicely.

Surprise/Immediate - without introduction or preamble, this type of hypnosis takes hold of the person immediately. Can be met with or without struggle or resistance. Often this is a style that comes with the soulless/emotionless/mindless hypnosis aesthetic, though not exclusive to this depiction.

Conditioning - typically includes a change over time, sometimes through long-time exposure to a hypnotic power, other times through gradual small changes or tweaks to one's personality or day to day life. Sometimes done without their notice, other times done through 'training' sessions.

Corruption - Pretty straight forward but definitely unique enough to set it apart from the rest. Corrupts someone so it seems like they still have their personality in tact, but it's a darker and often more violent and callous version of their personality. Acts as a groupie to the villain.

Emotional - most frequent example of this forcing someone to fall in love with another, making them do whatever the hypnotist say out of a newfound obsessive affection. Can also be done with emotions of anger or hatred, maybe feelings of inadequacy, targeted towards their friends/families/rivals in a moment of weakness - latter ties together well with 'confusion' style hypnosis.

Torment - mind control reinforced with pain or mental trauma (ex. bad memories of a traumatic past or relationships used to weaken a person's mental defenses). Can be harder to break out of due to the trauma from the induction, where the person hypnotized is desperate to stay in trance to avoid it. This one can be a little hard for some as a hypnosis trope.

Possession/Infection - An outside force takes control of someone, overlaying their own physical personality/instincts over the hypnotized person in order to achieve a personal goal

Conscious - this is the type where their body is being controlled but they are fully conscious. Not my brand of hypnosis, I wouldn't always consider it as a category myself, but it is often included in line with regular hypnosis so I'll include it as it's own group.

I'm sure that there's more than that, I'm far from an actual professional haha, but that's just what I could think of off the top of my head. And I didn't go much into other ways to transfer hypnosis to the hypnotized (signals, technology, telepathy, scents, potions, etc), cause if I did I think we'd be here for ages

#somn reply #hypnosis #man every time I talk about hypnosis I remember how much I like it #so much potential

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enchantestuff · 3 years

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hatred - Charles Leclerc

I think I might make this into a mini series with an enemies to civil with each other to friends to lovers kind of vibe but I'm still not sure, anyways here's Charles x reader wanting to rip each others throats but instead end up ripping each others clothes off

gonna dedicate this to the lovely @yungbludz happy birthday <33

GIF NOT MINE

warnings; smut as per usual, Charles being very egotistical, choking, language, enjoy <3

2k words

part two

It was safe to say you and Charles hated each other. You knew hate was a strong word, but you also knew that you felt nothing but hatred for the man. You hated his cocky smile and the fact that everyone seemed to be obsessed with him. You also hated the fact that you had to spend the whole weekend with him.

You worked for Ferrari, meaning that, unfortunately, you had to spend a lot of time with Charles. You were actually excited when you first got the job of being Charles Leclerc's PR manager. You had admired the driver and couldn’t wait to work alongside him, but that all changed once you actually met him and realised what an ass he really was. Everyone else loved him, of course, because he seemed to be nice to every single person on the planet except you.

You and a select number of the Ferrari team had been invited to a special charity event taking place in the ballroom of a luxurious hotel. You had all decided to check into the hotel the day before the event, in order to save time and familiarise yourself with the venue. Of course, according to your job description, you also had to run through the possible questions Charles could be asked with him.

Although Charles loathed you, he had to admit you were good at your job and managed to prepare him for every possible scenario, which is why he hadn’t begged Mattia to fire you, at least not yet.

You sighed as you reached the check in desk, all you wanted to do was flop onto the hotel bed and sleep until the morning. You gave the lady behind the desk your name and watched as she quickly typed on the computer in front of her. “Ah yes, Y/N and Charles, room 506”

Your eyes widened at her words as you shook your head. “No no, that can’t be right” you pleaded as you leaned your arms against the counter.

“Im sorry ma'am, but the booking is for the both of you” she explained with apologetic eyes as she handed you the room key.

“Take your time, Y/N. Not like we aren’t all exhausted from our long trip” you heard Charles scold from behind you. You quickly turned around and shoved the room key into his chest.

“Politetly, go fuck yourself, Leclerc” you muttered as you shouldered past him and walked straight to Mattia on the other side of reception. Mattia sighed once you walked over and gestured for you to begin arguing with him, he knew it was going to happen.

“Why? Why would you stick me in a room with that-that imbecile!” you snapped.

“Listen, Y/N, i know how much you dislike him and vice versa, but everyone had to be paired with someone and I thought this was the best option for you both” he explained with a soothing voice.

“Why do I have to be with her?” you heard Charles ask from behind you. You felt small standing in front of him, his broad frame practically trapping you between him and Mattia.

“Y/N is your PR manager, it's her job to prepare you for this event” Mattia once again calmly explained

“And she couldn’t do that over breakfast?” Charles inquired, you could feel his tense gaze on the back of your head and you whipped around scoffing at him as you placed your hands on his hips.

“Don’t act like this was my idea! Not everyone wants to share a room with you Charles, get your head out of your ass”

Charles opened his mouth to throw a rude remark your way but Mattia stopped him before he got the chance. “The both of you are sharing this room, whether you like it or not. I think everyone would prefer if you took this time to sort out your problems instead of bickering like children. I’ll see you both at breakfast. Goodnight,” he scolded as he walked off with his luggage in tow.

You felt your cheeks redden as embarrassment creeped up your shoulders. “Are you trying to get me fired?” you accused Charles as you grabbed your own luggage and made way for the elevator.

He shrugged in response, “Wouldn’t be the worst thing” he muttered, stepping inside with you. You pressed your floor number and sighed in frustration. “Can you stop breathing so loud?” he groaned, rolling his eyes.

“It was a sigh, dipshit.”

“Trust me, i don't want to be near you as much as you don't want to be near me”

“Glad we're on the same page” you replied, stepping out of the elevator and storming to your room, which in hindsight was a foolish idea as Charles had the key and you had to wait for him as he took his sweet time walking up the hallway.

He unlocked the door with a smug look on his face and stepped in before you, dropping his luggage on the floor as he surveyed the room. “You have got to be kidding me” he complained once he saw the double bed in the middle of the room.

“Oh what is it now, Charles?” you asked as you shut the door behind you “is the carpet not to your liking? Is it too bright? Are there no chocolates on the pillow” you continued and slipped off your shoes, “do you want me to - oh shit” you cursed as you saw the predicament you both were in. “Looks like you're sleeping on the floor” you shrugged whilst walking towards the bed.

“I am NOT sleeping on the floor,” Charles complained.

“What? And you think I am?” you argued, once again placing your hands on your hips.

“I don’t see why not,” he commented, crossing his arms across his chest.

“I am not sharing a bed with you, Leclerc! So you,” you jabbed a finger at his chest, “are going to have to step off your mighty throne and take the gentleman approach and sleep,” jab “on,” jab “the floor,” you snapped.

Charles raised his eyebrow as he stared at you. You could cut the tension between the two of you with a knife, it was almost unbearable. You had never fought this long, somebody had always interrupted you both before you got the chance to really push each other's buttons. “I'm going to say this nice and slow, sweetheart,” Charles growled, taking a step forward, you in turn took a step back as you removed your finger from his chest, “I’ll take the high road, we can share the bed just this once, as long as you stop acting like the spoiled princess that you will never be” he continued to walk towards you as he spoke and you were eventually trapped against the wall.

Charles moved his hand to lie on the wall next to your head, the distance between the two of you becoming smaller and smaller by the second. “I might be ready to step off my throne but are you ready to be a good girl and step off yours too?” he concluded.

“Bite me, Charles” you retorted and something in the both of you snapped as you grabbed his face in your hands and he roughly grabbed your waist. Your lips violently pressed against his as your tongues practically fought against each other. You almost moaned at the force of his kiss, but refused to give him the satisfaction.

Charles pulled away, giving your mouth a final short kiss before he moved to mark your neck. “Come on, princess. Stop being stubborn for once in your life and let me hear the noises that you can make''

You however kept your mouth shut, Charles smirked and shrugged his shoulders. “If that's how you want to play it,” he smirked before gently grabbing your breast and slipping his hands into the waistband of your leggings. He rubbed circles on your clit as he pinched your nipples. “I want to hear you, sweetheart,” he grunted.

You rolled your eyes back in pleasure and involuntarily let out a moan. Charles felt his dick twitch in his pants and cockily grinned as he kissed right under your nose. “Good girl,” he whispered. It wasn't long before his trousers were discarded as well as your own leggings. You hadn’t moved however and were still pressed up against the wall. “Are you sure you want this?” he asked and although you felt your heart skip a beat you rolled your eyes at him and nodded.

“Yes, please just - just hurry up” you squirmed against the wall. That seemed to be all the validation he needed. He slowly put a condom on before easing into you. You scrunched your eyes at the uncomfortable feeling and tapped him to move. Your lips parting on their own accord as the feeling was replaced with pure pleasure. Charles forcefully grabbed your legs and wrapped them around his waist, providing him with a better angle for both himself and you.

“O-oh shit” you moaned as you scraped your nails down his shoulders to his arms, which left harsh red marks in their wake. Charles moaned at the feeling and you were almost aroused by the sound. Almost.

One of Charles hands were digging into the soft flesh of your thigh while the other moved to wrap itself around your neck, his signature pinky ring digging into the flesh of your skin causing you to mimic his actions and let out a moan at the pain.

“You like that?” he grunted as he continued to thrust into you, lightly placing some pressure on your throat, not enough to suffocate you, he didn't hate you that much, but enough for you to enter a state of pure bliss.

“I hate you, Leclerc” you found yourself muttering but you certainly did not hate him at that very moment.

“Feelings mutual, love”

You continued to scrape your nails across his back, desperate to pull more moans out of him. Charles however, didn't like being the only vulnerable one and removed his hands from your throat, he grabbed both of your hands in his own and shoved them upwards, beginning his assault on your chest.

Your toes curled as he hit all the right spaces, you knew you were close but you really didn’t want to be the first one to let go. Charles could feel the clenching of your walls and smirked into your chest. “Are you close, princess?” he asked, bringing his mouth to your lips and for some reason you found yourself kissing him back.

“No” you blatantly lied.

You moved your head closer to him when he pulled away but he refused to connect your lips once more and you found yourself pouting at the lack of attention. God, how pathetic had you become.

“Now, i knew you were a spoiled brat but i didn't take you for a liar as well”

“Glad to know your ego has no off moments, Charles” you scoffed and were about to start an argument before he began slowly pounding into you, his precise thrusts made it extremely difficult to formulate a sentence let alone hold onto the knot in your stomach. So, against your brain telling you not to, you let go.

You would have fallen onto the ground if it wasn’t for Charles' strong grip trapping you against the wall and his own body. The noises that he made as he reached his own high caused your heart to flutter in your chest and you began to wonder if having sex with him was a bad idea.

“Are you okay?” he asked after he had pulled away from you. You nodded your head as you furrowed your eyebrows

“Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?” you asked.

You were surprised the both of you were capable of having a normal conversation, but you supposed nothing could be normal between you after that.

Charles gently ran a finger across your neck and by the look on his face you knew you looked worse for wear. “I kind of lost myself in the moment, I’m sorry if I hurt you. Really I am” he clarified.

“Its okay” you sighed as you rubbed your neck, “lets just go to sleep”

“I’m still not sleeping on the floor”

“Just stay on your side of the bed, Leclerc”

#Charles leclerc #Charles Leclerc imagine #Charles Leclerc smut #f1 imagine #f1 smut #forumla 1 imagine #f1 #formula one imagine

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whump-a-la-mode · 3 years

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Hi, could you please write a snippet on Hero whumpee, who's being tortured by the Hero league for being so weak, and when they don't show up for a fight, villian goes to find them, and they're completely shocked at hero's battered condition. So they break them out of there and nurse the traumatized hero back to health?

Apologies if it's a lot!

Ah I’m sorry it took so long to get to this one! It’s such a good prompt, Hero whumper and Hero whumpee. I hope I did your idea justice! Sorry that there’s not much in the way of caretaking, here. I was in the mood for some good classic whump.

CW//Injuries, chains, dehumanization, objectification, blood, black eyes, bruises, self-hatred

When Villain’s flashlight beam landed upon the sight, it was all that they could do not to drop their torch to the ground. It was just about as difficult not to lose their lunch.

They hadn’t known what to expect, when they’d taken on this (rather ill-advised) mission. Certainly not this. Certainly not what they saw before them. Really, anything else would have been better.

It wasn’t their business, even! If anything, the villain should have been glad.

They should have been glad when their nemesis disappeared. And, at first, it hadn’t even been a ‘disappearance.’

The last time that they had seen their nemesis had been a particularly climactic, and particularly violent battle. In the end, it was a fight that Villain had won, leaving their enemy limping away.

Thus, the next time Villain had taken a bank hostage, it wasn’t the greatest surprise that Hero was not among those dispatched to stop them. They were hurt-- the villain had managed to get in some rather nasty blows. They needed their rest, and most doctors agree that fiery battles in bank vaults aren’t conducive to a fast recovery.

But, then, at the next fight, Hero had not shown their face.

Or the next.

Were they the most well-known of heroes? Certainly not. The Heroes’ League had plenty more shining faces, plenty more perfect smiles and dreamboats. But, then again, Villain was not the most well-known of villains. It was only proper that they should have a more obscure nemesis.

So it seemed, however, that obscurity had led to them simply being forgotten. News media never spoke of their disappearance, far more preoccupied with the week’s best paparazzi shots of Superhero and their closest cohorts.

It was as though Hero had simply disappeared into thin air, and only their greatest enemy had noticed at all. Villain would be lying if they said it hadn’t become an obsession. Not that they liked that old jerk, of course. It wasn’t worry that inspired their charge. No, it was merely curiosity.

Curiosity alone is what inspired them to aggressively search every newspaper obituary section, to hound every local hospital and morgue, to devote their supercomputer’s processor to facial recognition, digging through millions of photographs. All in an attempt to find their Hero.

It was merely curiosity. A pastime. That was all there was to it.

But, after weeks, their efforts proved to all have been for naught. It was as though Hero had simply disappeared, been plucked into thin air.

By the time that Villain decided to break into the Heroes’ League Headquarters, nearly a month had passed since their fight. Since their nemesis, their greatest foe had vanished.

And, here they were.

They’d found Hero.

Villain’s flashlight settled first upon the hero’s body, before moving upwards, towards their face. The further up they moved, so it seemed, the most horrifying the sight was. Their jaw had long ago dropped open, and they had not the will nor the desire to close it.

The longer Hero had been gone, the more outlandish Villain’s anxieties had grown. First, they had assumed that their nemesis was simply recovering from their injuries. Then, they thought that perhaps they had become sick. But, the longer that theory stuck with them, the worse their worries became. What kind of sickness kept someone off their feet for a whole month?

But it wasn’t sickness. No, it wasn’t sickness.

It had been no easy feat, getting here. After switching out the night guards’ coffees with a batch laced with sleeping medication, they had only had to wait a few minutes before they made their entrance. That was the easy part, however. Getting in.

Finding Hero? That was a little more difficult. They had searched all the expected places. Their dorm, the med bay, the cafeteria, the lounge. The gym had been a last ditch effort. After all, Hero didn’t exactly seem like the type for some three-in-the-morning exercise, but they had always been full of surprises.

And, that was where they were. But they weren’t exercising. No, they were in no state to be doing any of that.

When Villain had first witnessed their state, they had believed it to be a hallucination. A trick of the light. But, when they rubbed their eyes and blinked, it was still there, clear as day.

Hero. Their despised, hated Hero, with their stupid, noble smile and bright eyes. Here they stood-- or, more so, here they dangled.

Strung up among a row of leather punching bags. That was where they had found their nemesis, hanging from their wrists. A punching bag. A true, literal punching bag.

And it was more than clear the position was taken quite literally by some. They were nearly nude, clothed in only undergarments that had long since been soaked through with dried scarlet. Otherwise, so it seemed, every last inch of their flesh was positively coated with varying splotches of blue, black, and sickly green. Most were centered upon their exposed stomach, to the point that the bruises simply blended together into one big painting.

Their face was swollen almost to the point of being unrecognizable. Varying strikes had twisted their nose and jaw both out of place, and only one of their eyes was able to open in the slightest.

“Hero.” That was all that Villain could do, call out their name breathlessly.

“Don’t call me that.” Their words were so slow, nearly silent. Injuries upon their neck had clearly caused their throat to swell. “Why are you here?”

There was a moment of pause between them.

“To save you, evidently.”

“No.” Hero sounded desperate. “No.”

“N-What are you, crazy? I mean, clearly! But, what, did your doctor up your dose of your kookoo meds? When was the last time you saw yourself in a mirror?!”

“Villain. Leave.” They croaked.

“And leave you like this? Not a chance.”

“I need this.”

Hero had to gasp for air, clearly not getting enough through their swollen throat.

“What?”

“I need this. I- I failed.” Tears beaded and flowed from their closed black eye. “It’s okay, Villain. T- They’re making me stronger.”

Villain stopped.

It had been a terrible loss, the last time Hero had been on the field. Not only had they wound up injured, so had half a dozen civilians, and god only knows how much property.

But this...

“They’re torturing you.”

“My friends are training me.” Their eyes widened, and they were thrown into a coughing fit. At its end, a spot of bloody phlegm was spat up onto the floor.

“They’re torturing you! Have you seen yourself?! You look like you just got hit by a truck!”

“Please. P- Please j-j-just leave.”

“No.” Villain turned off their flashlight, hooking it in their belt loop. They would need both hands free, for this. “No, Hero, we’re going home. And, for the love of everything holy, you’re going straight to the hospital.”

#hero whumpee #hero whumper #whumpblr #whump community #whump #whumpee #whumper #hero x villain #hero villain whump #hero villain trope #villain caretaker

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thedreamermusing · 3 years

Text

Debunking the myth that Severus Snape is an incel

So, I've seen this go around a lot in the HP fandom, but unlike a lot of other exaggerated statements, this one...doesn't seem to be based on any real truth or fact.

Let's look at the definition of an incel from Wikipedia.

Incels, a portmanteau of "involuntary celibates", are members of an online subculture who define themselves as unable to find a romantic or sexual partner despite desiring one. Discussions in incel forums are often characterized by resentment, misogyny, misanthropy, self-pity and self-loathing, racism, a sense of entitlement to sex, and the endorsement of violence against sexually active people.

Alright, so which part of this definition does Snape fit? Does he define himself as being unable to find a romantic or sexual partner? Nope. He doesn't seem to want or even wish for companionship. Is he characterised by resentment? Yes, but not because he can't get laid. Is he a misogynist? Certainly not, he treats people of all genders equally badly. Misanthropy, self-loathing? Yes, but none of these issues is related to his inability to have sex. Racism? Given that he joined the Death Eaters, yes. But once again, his views on blood purity were independent of Lily, the seeds of it were there as a child. A sense of entitlement to sex, and the endorsement of violence against sexually active people? This is a confident and definitive no.

The parts of Snape that do correlate with the incel movement: resentment, self-loathing, misanthropy, are missing the core tenet of the incel movement: misogyny. Snape's resentment is not from the fact that he's unable to get laid. He does not blame women for not giving him sex. His resentment of James Potter was not solely due to Lily, either, although that was a factor. It was also based on the fact that James Potter had what Snape at that point lacked, which Harry pinpoints so accurately in 'The Prince's Tale: 'an air of being cared for and even adored'. James also had power and privilege, and regularly used it to abuse Snape, and of course, a young, poverty-stricken, ugly, half-blood child would feel resentful of that. So, his resentment was not based around any misogynistic idea that James could 'score' women while Snape could not.

Snape was self-loathing, but not because he could not get laid. It's actually the opposite. The first time he exhibits traits of self-loathing are after Lily dies when he says 'I wish I were dead.' He hates himself for being responsible for getting her killed. If he was an incel, he would actually celebrate her death, thinking it was the price she paid for not choosing him. But Snape's self-loathing comes from being unable to protect her.

Misanthropy: I mean....this is self-explanatory. He's a misanthrope because he doesn't like anybody, period. It's got nothing to do with sexual conquest.

Now that I've (hopefully) established why Snape does not share any notable traits related to the incel movement, let me try to debunk some often repeated 'truths' in the fandom that people repeat to play into the idea that he was an incel.

1) Snape couldn't handle Lily rejecting him, so he joined the Death Eaters.

People always say this as if Snape wore a fedora and asked Lily on a date, and when she rejected him, decided that all muggleborns were bad and joined the Death Eaters...when that's not what happened at all.

First of all, the timeline here is wrong. Snape's fascination for the Death Eaters was independent of Lily. We already know he was likely abused by his Muggle father. We know that he loved dark magic. We also know that Slytherin is a breeding ground for blood purist views. And so, Snape was groomed into this movement; he certainly did not join the Death Eaters in reaction to Lily 'rejecting' him.

This brings us to the other point. Lily did not 'reject' Snape because Snape never told her how he felt. We don't know if Lily even knew how he felt. Lily rejected his friendship because he was on the path to becoming a Death Eater.

2) Snape stalked Lily and harassed her all the time.

Once again, false. Snape left her alone after Lily rejected his apology. He never tried to speak to her again or bothered her again. I'm certain Sirius Black would have brought it up if that were the case. But the fact that neither Remus nor Sirius even remembers that Snape and Lily were even friends suggests that they went their separate paths.

3) Snape offered James and Harry to Voldemort hoping that he could get with Lily after her death.

There are several misconceptions here.

Snape did not offer James and Harry to Voldemort in exchange for Lily. He simply did not care if James or Harry's lives. That is of course terrible in its own way. But there is a definite difference between the two. Voldemort would have gone after the Potters either way. There was no deal made between Voldemort and Snape where Snape said 'I'll give you James and Harry if you let Lily live.' What happened was Voldemort was already set on killing the Potters, and Snape made a desperate request to protect Lily. His situation was a) Let the Potters all die and b) Let only James and Harry die and Lily survive. There were no other options. He wanted to save her life and let her live. It wasn't out of some hope that she would fall in love with him. She was the only person who had ever cared about him and he just did not want her to die because of his actions, nothing else.

I know Dumbledore says 'in exchange for the mother' in the hilltop scene but people are forgetting that scene is one of powerplay and negotiation between Dumbledore and Snape. Snape is a terrified Death Eater fully expecting Dumbledore to murder him. Dumbledore holds the upper hand in that interaction. It is in Snape's best interests not to defend himself and simply accept the judgement Dumbledore gives him. Dumbledore, meanwhile, is trying to make Snape as ashamed as possible to get him on his side and deliberately uses phrasing to guilt him.

4) Snape bullied Harry because he didn't get the girl.

Snape's feelings towards Harry are complicated and are wrapped up in all sorts of messy emotions including hatred, resentment, guilt, anguish, and trauma. But the foremost emotions in his hatred for Harry have to do with James. Harry is a carbon copy of James, who was his primary bully in school. We have seen how bad James was to him in SWM. It is irrational of course, but a lot of his hatred for Harry has to do with looking exactly like his bully. A lot of his feelings are also guilt because Harry is proof of Snape's own failings, of not being able to save Lily. Part of it is also resentment because protecting Harry is quite possibly the own reason Snape is still alive. He wasn't able to protect Lily and to atone, he has to protect her son. He is resentful of the fact that he has to protect his bully's son, resentful that his life has become stagnated because of this child, and of course resentful that Harry constantly gets into a lot of trouble at Hogwarts, which solidifies his image in Snape's head as 'James-lite' while also making his job of protecting him harder. So his feelings towards Harry are projection of his failings and trauma and not an inability to get the girl.

Tl;dr: Snape lacks the core tenets of incel ideology i.e misogyny and an obsession with not getting sex. The incel ideology is a violent hate movement built upon hatred towards women. Snape has never once shown any inclination to be misogynistic. He never blamed Lily for the end of their friendship; rather, he understands that it was his mistakes and choices that led their friendship to end. Just because Snape is an ugly man who loved someone one-sidedly does not mean he was automatically a violent misogynist who hated all women. 'Snape is a bully' is a fact because it is canonically supported by the text. 'Snape is an incel' is not a fact; it is a lie.

#severus snape #pro snape #harry potter #lbr i don't think it's a valid headcanon either because headcanons also have to have some basis in canon #I can't believe I need to make such a longass post about something so obvious

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yandere-daydreams · 4 years

Note

Can we have a general yandere typing for the TW dorm leaders or your favorite dorm pls?

This is very, very general (it has to be, if I’m going to fit seven different characters into the same post), but I hope it covers what you’re looking for! I’ve been meaning to write a ‘darkest fantasy’ drabble for the dorm-heads but,,, this’ll have to do, for now.

The NRC Dorm Heads as Yanderes.

TW: Physical Abuse, Emotional Abuse, Dehumanization, Implied Kidnapping, Unhealthy Relationships, Mentions of Non-Consensual Touching, Mentions of Blood, and Implied Violence.

Riddle is Domineering.

He can’t change what he is, and even if he could, he wouldn’t see the need to. Riddle loves you, he loves you so, so much, but to him, you’re so reckless, so impulsive, so inept, it makes his underclassmen seem cautious, in comparison. He worries less for your safety than he does for your carelessness. He doesn’t think you’ll impale yourself on a banister or trip and manage to break your neck, and yet, he’s managed to convince himself that, the moment you’re left into your own devices, you’ll twist, distort, manage to take something that’s so precious to him and turn it into something perverse, something that doesn’t deserve to have a caretaker so devoted. If he has to take a few hours out of his busy schedule to make sure you understand why he’s so adamant that you obey him, then so be it. He’d rather have a perfect, prized doll who can’t meet his eyes without trembling than someone he doesn’t even know, someone he can’t even love. Someone who won’t let him love them, even when he’s made it so clear that if he suffocates you, it’s only because you've forgotten that you can only breathe because he lets you.

Leona is Jealous.

It’s such a classic younger-sibling complex, isn’t it? It’s not that he’s possessive, he’d be more than fine with carving you up and handing out the pieces if he knows who he’s sharing with, but he’s had a say in so little, he’s had so much snatched out of his grasp before he knew better than to let it go, he can’t stand the though of losing you like that, too. He needs to monopolize your time, your attention, he needs to monopolize you, because if he doesn’t someone else is going to come along to do it for him, and he knows they won’t treat you half as well as he will. It’s why he’s so quick to pull you away from conversations he didn’t give you permission to be a part of. It’s why he can’t seem to go five minutes without insulting your friends or implying that you could cling to him as much as he clings to you, even when the two of you have been along for hours. It’s why he’s so desperate to bite into your neck and burrow his nails under your skin and leave proof of his existance, if only to satisfy that repressed, buried, primal part of himself that just wants something he can own. And he will own you, by the time he’s done. He tends to be thorough, with the things he’s so determined to see play out.

Azul is Paranoid.

There’s a connotation with this kind of alignment that might be a little misleading, when it comes to Azul. He’s manipulative, too. He’s obsessive and he’s controlling and he’s so many other things, but above all, he’s terrified by the idea that one day, you might decide that he’s just some pathetic, pitiful bottom-feeder and move on to someone’s who’s worthy of you. His mindset seeps its way into his behavior visibly, tangibly, blatantly, whether or not he’s willing to admit it. A dozen locks on your bedroom door, a new contract he’s gone over a hundred times, a thousand kisses and a thousand promises and a thousand hours spent clinging to your waist, his face buried in your chest as he begs you to never make him let go. He feels like you’ll slip away if he doesn’t hold you close, like you’ll find a loophole or a way to leave him and he’ll never be able to get you back. It doesn’t help that he responds so reflexively to any change he didn’t acconut for. He can make all the plans in the world, contrive as many schemes as he’d like to, but all of his preparations won’t stop him from reacting so harshly when you say something he doesn’t want to hear or do something he didn’t see coming. Above all, he needs you to love him. He won’t respond well to any evidence of the contrary.

Kalim is Smothering.

You have to understand, he really, really thinks he’s just being the best boyfriend he can possibly be. Kalim is naive, like that. He loves you, and he doesn’t know better than to show that love off any way he can and every way he can. It kind of sweet, if you look at it like that. How is he supposed to know you wouldn’t enjoy receiving his gifts as much as he enjoys piling them onto you? You never told him how much his endless parties overwhelm you, so why would he ever stop throwing them? You always bite at your lips and look away and try to cover yourself when he gives you something pretty to wear, and Kalim just thinks you’re so beautiful, so wonderful, it’s only natural that he’ll - playfully, of course - pull you into his lap and go on about all the many reasons he loves you, layering on compliments so thickly, it’s only a matter of time before they start to seep into your lungs and force out the air. Remember, he’s blind to anything he doesn’t want to see, so by the time he finally crosses one too many lines and forced you to snap, he’ll be so caught off-guard, so heartbroken, he won’t know what to do besides buckle-down and give you more, force you to take more. He’s a simple man. If his antics were enough to make you snap at him, surely, more gifts, more attention, more love will only make things better.

Vil is Narcissistic.

This one speaks for itself, really. You might manage to worm your filthy little way into his heart, you might find a way to root yourself there and drive him to the point of near-insanity, but no matter how dear you are to him, no matter how much he loves you, you’ll always be second to the man himself, you’ll always be less than, compared to Vil. It shouldn’t be such a problem, he already acts like he should be the pinnacle of all mankind’s aspirations, but it’s taken to a new extreme when it comes to his closest companion. He expects to be doted on, to be worshiped, and when you’re not busy tripping over yourself to tend to his every desire, you should be hanging off his every word, letting him do whatever he’d like to because you’re just so honored he’d take a moment out of his day to look after you. If it takes a love potion or several, he’ll find a way to live with it. That’s the thing about a mentality like Vil’s, an obsession focused inward that just so happens to brush against someone it’s not meant to - he doesn’t really care about the parts of you that don’t lead back to him. Your health, your happiness, it’s all on the table if he has a chance to take hold of what he wants. He’s always been ambitious. You shouldn’t be surprised when he approaches your love with the same cut-throat attitude.

Idia is Possessive.

If it’s any help, he wants to lock himself away from the rest of the world just as much as he wants to isolate you. You’re the one person he can stand to be around, the one voice he’ll never get tired of, the one pair of eyes he knows will never judge him, even if he’d prefer that you call him more affectionate nicknames, as he explains that he’s just trying to keep the two of you content and alone. He’s greedy, when it comes to you, but that’s not his fault. He gets… sensitive, when you start to focus on other people, when you let other men touch you like they have any right to put their hands on something he deserves to keep to himself. It leads him to some habits he’s not proud of, some reactions that don’t exactly encourage you to indulge his more questionable habits, but while Idia still wants to be able to hide in your arms and ramble on to the only person he knows will listening, he stops caring about how much you want to embrace him, eventually. The world’s already so unfair in so many ways, and no one knows that more than Idia. He doesn’t think he’ll mind if you begin to think he’s as much of a disgusting freak as he already knows he is.

Malleus is Apathetic.

He wants to care. Don’t forget that - he really, really wants to care about your feelings, your interests, your happiness, all of it! He tries to care, too. Not a day passes where he doesn’t make an attempt to get you to smile, to coax out a hint of fondness from your scorned little heart, to sort through all the betrayal and the hurt and the pain and find something redeeming, something that proves he’s not making you any more miserable than he has to. He’ll give you what sparse freedoms he can, keeping your leash as slack as he can afford to, but when you take a step too close to an open window or refuse to hold his hand or he just decides it’s been a few minutes too long since you last swallowed your pride and showed him the affection he strives after like a touch-starved puppy, he never hesitates to pull you back to his side and ignore how violently you’re choking as he takes whatever he wants, whenever he wants it. He never feels guilty, either, not for the act itself. He’ll fret over the hatred in your eyes, he’ll loath himself whenever you flinch at the first signs of his touch, but in the back of his mind, he knows he deserves what he rips away from you. He’s doing you a favor. Humans are so fragile, so delicate, so easily tricked, and as a prince, a prodigy, a source of unadulterated power, he’s the only suitable candidate when it comes to keeping you safe, to guarding you as fiercely as dragon guards its hoard. He protects you, and he treats you like royalty while doing it, so he wants something in return. He doesn’t think he’s asking for a lot, considering how much he’s been denied.

You should just count yourself lucky Malleus might feel a little bad, by the time he’s done. At least he won’t leave you as bloody as he could, after he’s finished.

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animeyanderelover · 3 years

Note

Hii 💖Can you do Minato with prompt 84?

Seems to not fit him at first glance, but he is a dangerous cookie after all. I got some inspiration from a post from @kyoties. It's inspired from this one Sakura x Yandere!Minato comic. Also, Minato is very manipulative and cunning in here. I just felt in the mood for some angsty stuff.

Tw: Yandere themes, unhealthy mindset, unhealthy relationship, obsessiveness, controlling behavior, manipulation, bribing, blackmailing, blood, killing

Prompt 84: “I’m not the most violent person, but I’m willing to change that if it means having you.”

It's not like you weren't used to seeing blood, you were a shinobi after all and had seen some crazy shit after all. There had even been this one time where you had witnessed a man bombing himself for the sake of not getting caught. People were all deep down a bit crazy, it wasn't anything new to you. Everyone had a darker side somewhere lurking in them. In the end it all depended on how good someone could control it. A good self-control was the essence to many things, if not to all. You could achieve about anything with it because in the end cold-hearted cruelty was always superior to hot-blooded violence. It sharpened the mind, made you think before acting and allowed you to fool others, manipulating them into acting like you wished. It was a simple fact you had seen very often before. No one was really a good person, everyone was able to do brutal things, horrible things.

So why? Why was your heart in so much pain right now? Hadn't you been prepared for a day where someone you thought you were close with would show his real face? Hadn't you always reminded yourself that everyone had a different and cold side to them, including you? It had after all always been basic knowledge for you. Thinking deeper about it, maybe you weren't in so much pain right now because you had not seen it coming. Maybe it was just that seeing even him being like this as well had just extinguished a small flame of hope in you which he had mangaged to lit in you. This stupid thought that maybe there were people in this world who weren't like this. Who weren't two-faced. But you had been tricked by him, the person you had even thought to have fallen in love with. Now you weren't so sure anymore if the man, tainted in blood was really the same you had always felt your heart fluttering around.

"Who...who are you?", you managed to croak out, feeling like you were about to faint here and then. So many fights, so many battles, so much blood. It had of course always affected you, but never ike this. You were achingly aware, too aware, of everything right now. The warm and sticky feeling of blood all over you, the wind causing you to shiver, the shadows the corpses were throwing on the ground and his presence, feeling more terrifying than anything you had ever sensed before. It felt like all warmth had been abandoned from him, someone you had sometimes compared to as sunshine. But know you had a hard time believing that this man was the same at who's back you were currently staring with quievering eyes, having troubles breathing properly. Who was this?

Upon hearing your voice, Minato seemed to come back to his senses, turning slowly around to look you in your eyes. It was the first time since his sudden arrival that you were finally facing him. His clothes were stained with red liquid, his face spattered with it as well. It looked pretty bad even though you doubted any of this blood belonged to him. No, all of it belonged to the men who were now laying lifelessly on the ground, all the blood creating a huge puddle in which center you two were standing. It made you feel nauseous, the intense stench of it making bile raise up your throat, your stomach feeling like a hungry rat was greedily biting it's way outside.

But this wasn't what mae you break out in cold sweat, leading your whole body to shake uncontrollably and heart pounding with ony pure fear in your heart. No, it was this look he had in his eyes. You remembered that his eyes had always reminded you of an ocean. They were deep and yet possessed this certain sparkle in them, something that reminded you that he was alive. But right now there was nothing. They were completely empty, the color in them seeming much more pale and less powerful in comparison to how you remembered them. Even the eyes of the now dead people surrounding you appeared more lively, fear, desperation and horror visible in them. They were all dead, but looked more alive than Minato in that moment.

"What are you talking about? It's me. Minato." You suppressed the urge to shake your head, eyes staring even more horrified at him after hearing his voice. Nothing, not a single emotion in them. It was just as cold and empty as his eyes. By now he had shifted his complete attention to you, eyes being, despite any sign of emotion, intense in it's own way. You felt like the coldness in him was starting to seep in the air around him, you suddenly starting to freeze, chills dancing up and down your body. "But this isn't the important question now." He stepped closer, towering over your sitting form. "What are you doing here? If I remember right, you were supposed to take a break from missions due to your injuries. So why is it that I find you miles away from the village, engaging in a fight that you couldn't win from the very start? Didn't I tell you, order you, to let me take care of this? I thought that you wouldn't be that risking to try to chase down those shinobi all by yourself. I thought you were more mature than this."

Those words hurt, they hit you like arrows, you feeling hot and cold shame, embarrassment, frustration and anger washing over you, nearly making your head spin in the process. In all the times you had spend with him, you couldn't remember a single time he had ever sounded that harsh, that cruel. Sure, you could recall times where he had been more strict on you, but never like this. You knew that he wasn't wrong. In fact he was right. You had let yourself get carried away, had been careless and risked your own life. And yet..."Be quiet. How can you possibly understand how I feel right now? How I felt back then?" Your voice had gone very quiet, you squeezing the fabric right over your heart, glaring at the ground. Your eyes started stinging, everything becoming blurry before you felt hot tears streaming down your face. "How can you understand how it feels to lose comrades you've known for years all because you were too unable to to protect them? All of them...they died because of me."

It hurt, only remembering it made you feel like someone was stabbing a poisenous blade right in your heart. "I-I couldn't safe them. They all ended up sacrificing themselves for me. My whole team...wiped out in an instant. And I was the only one who made it put alive. And the worst is that all of them died for nothing. I couldn't even give them a meaningful and honorable death. Their families...I couldn't even tell them that the death of their children helped the village, much less face them." Minato was listening attentively, his gaze slowly faltering upon seeing you in such a devastated state. "(y/n)...they were my people too. I know how you feel, I'm in pain as well. But that is no reason to chase blinded by hatred after them. What would have it done good if you would have died in here as well? You would have dishonored their wish to let you continue life. I told you I would make sure that they would be punished for their crimes. Didn't you trust me enough or why did you still decide to go solo?"

"Because I wanted to be the one to catch them and make them pay." Your face was by now stained with a mix made out of blood, sweat and tears. "It's not like I didn't trust you with your promise. It's just that I knew that if I wouldn't at least help to catch, I would have never been able to forgive myself and be confident." You slowly looked up, revealing your pained expression. "I know that this was reckless. But what else could I have done? I just had to do this myself. I don't expect you to understand this, you aren't someone who launches without a plan or lets himself get carried away from his feeling. That's why I knew you wouldn't let me join the team. And that's why I sneaked out myself. I wanted to give their death a meaning as the one who took it from them."

By now it looked like a a bit of warmth had returned to his eyes, giving you a somewhat sympathetic yet still strict look. "I do get why you did it. But what did you hope to gain from this? It won't bring back your team by risking your life nor will it help you feel better. The only thing this would have earned you if I wouldn't have found you would have been the same fate. You should have trusted me and your other comrades. You were in no condition to fight. You had no plan, not the physical skills to do it and certainly not the mentality. Charging in just to feel better about yourself. What were you thinking?"

You scoffed angrily, slowly starting to get back on your feet. A sudden stinging pain in your side made you groan, stumbling nearly back on the ground before you managed to gain your balance back. Your hand snatched automatically under your clothes, pressing against the spot where the pain was coming from. When you pulled back, fresh blood was glistening on your hand. Minato instantly stepped closer to you, a look of concern crossing his face and started stretching his hand out, wanting to help you. "Are you fine? Let me take a short look and-" He stopped when you rudely slapped his hand away, making a shocked look flash over his face. "You think I did this to feel better? Are you kidding me? I'll never feel better about this, no matter what I do. I let them get killed and I'm wel aware that nothing I will do in the future will completely restore me. But still..." You clenched your fists, feeling anger boiling up inside of you. "What other motivation and reason would I have needed besides their pride and memories I'm carrying?!?! You will never be able to understand me!! You didn't saw it!! You merely feel a part of what I'm feeling!! It was my mission!! My responsibility!! And I failed!! How could you ever possibly understand me?!?! Besides, I was only planning on capturing them!! I'm not stupid with thinking when I kill them everything will be fine!! You were the one who just now lost total control and slaughtered them all!! What right do you have to lecture me about what I did wrong when you aren't any better?!?! No matter what you say, I don't regret what I did!! And I would do it over and over again and if you try to stop me, I'll make sure that I'll never have to see you again and stopping me from doing the right thing!!"

You had pushed yourself against him, a furious look on your face, glaring with pure anger at him. And for a short moment everything suddenly seemed to quiet down, even the noises in the forest stopping as if everything was watching you two right now. Minato looked in denial, not believing that you had just lashed out on him like this. "You're right. I'm normally not like this." He looked like he himself was stunned with what he had done. "I'm not the most violent person, but I'm willing to change that if it means having you." He didn't look you in the eyes for a while, glancing at what he had done. But only a few moments later his expression darkened, the previous warmth in his eyes suddenly all gone again. "Just who do you think you're talking to?" His voice was slightly raised, clearly irked about your disrespectful behavior just now. "Do you think you can talk to your Hokage like this? You must not let your anger out on me because you're currently a bit too agitated. The fact reminds that you disobeyed me which could have led to your certain death if I wouldn't have stepped in, meaning you brought my life with your impulsive acting indirectly in danger as well. Not only that, but the village suffered casualties because of you. Those men were needed alive, but because of you they're dead now. Are you even aware in what a bad position you're in exactly?"

Anger turned temporarily in pure disbelief, you looking completely flabbbergasted at him. "What do you mean that they're dead because of me? You were the one who killed them." You felt dread washing over you when being met with his firm gaze, getting a really bad feeling. "And who is there to confirm this?" You nearly choken on the air. "W-what do you mean by this?"

"We're far away from the village. Those guys are dead. No one saw us. It would be in the end your word against mine. And I do hope you know whom the village would believe more. There are even people who can confirm to have you seen leaving the village plus the fact that you took a lot of paperbombs and weapons with you. And you have a very solid motive as well, you even told people you would chase them mercilessly down and revenge your teammates. Everyone would believe it was you. I only came to see you having killed them all."

You had no words, this shameless blackmailing of his having just robbed you your ability to speak properly. Your brain needed a long moment to fiddle a few half-decent sentences together. "Y-you're deranged. Are you seriously blackmailing me now? What has gotten into you?" You didn't know if the slight stirring in his eyes was something akin to regret, maybe you were right now just too much in shock to comprehend and judge properly. The sudden knowledge that someone you had comsidered your best friend had just done the unspeakable to you had blown you completely off-guard. You felt betrayed, bitterness starting to seep into your heart and mind, accompanied by a white-blazing wrath. How could he do this to you?! "You...I hate you." Your face twisted into an angry mask. "I'll make sure that I'll have to see you after this never again!"

Some rational-thinking part of you cursed at you to remain calm, to not do what you were about to do. But your mind was too darkened up to listen, ignoring all the screaming pain you felt when you suddenly tensed all your muscles up and the knowledge that you could not beat him, grabbing angrily a kunai. You felt confused when looking at Mina-. No, at that man in front of you. Who was that? You had never seen him before. Was that the reason why you felt no hesitation to attack him? Because you didn't recognize the man you had shared precious memories with?

"Wait, something is wrong." Time seemed to slow down for a bit, a sudden hyperawareness grabbing you and sharpening your senses unbelievably. You felt a million different thoughts were racing through your mind in less than a second. "Why-why isn't he moving?" Minato was clearly looking at you, he had to know that you were about to launch at him. So why didn't he make any attempts to dodge your attack. Did he want to get hurt by you? But why? A sudden rustling from the trees made your eyes shift in an instant to the noises and the source of it. And that's when realization hit you like a lightning. "SHIT! Did they arrive just now?!"

You had no time to react anymore, the only thing you did manage to do was shifting your course a bit. But you still landed a solid blow, ramming the sharply formed iron in his shoulder, causing him to hiss in pain and jump a bit back. You watched only in horror, sitting helplessly on the ground as all the Anbu were surrounding you in only the matter of a few miniseconds. One rushed instantly to Minato who pulled with a slightly pained expression the kunai out of his freshly created wound, the Anbu instantly pulling out a piece of fabric and pressing it against the bleeding. "Lord Hokage! What happened in here?"

No! You tried to move, but the moment you did, you were thrown harshly to the ground, one of the many members twisting your arm painfully behind your back. "Hey! Let her go. It's fine." Though you couldn't see the face of the person, male judging from his body, you could hear the slight confusion in his voice. "But Lord Hokage...they just attacked you and..." He looked a bit around, the place demolished from all the paperbombs you had used before Minato had elegantly and fastly killed them all. You realized with terror that nothing in here hinted that he had killed or interacted in this fight. He had even used one of your kunais which he had picked up and dropped after being finished. The same kunai with which you had just stabbed him. What had you done. "...and they killed them all. We needed those people for information gathering. Their knowledge was important."

"I know it looks a bit difficult. But they didn't intend to do it. You need to try to see it from their perspective. It must have left a traumatic impact on them. It's terrifying to witness something like this. Especially given the fact that it was their first mission as a team leader. And also, look closer. They lost a lot of blood already. I'm sure that their barely conscious by now. It was a bit my mistake as well. I creeped up from behind them. They probably mistook me as another enemy."

In one point he was right. You were at this point barely keeping it together, black spots dancing in front of your eyes. You still noticed how everyone was looking at you, judging whether to trust you or not. "He might be right. I was assigned to watch over them when they were first delievered in the hospital. I remember that they suffered from nightmares, bad ones. And they are indeed very badly hurt. Stop pressing your body on them like this. They're already very pale and don't look good. Instead of being cautious of them, we should focus on getting them back to the village. Hatred can lead you to becoming blind and for them it must have been an especially mind-and heartshattering experience." You might have felt the smallest bit of gratitude for the woman, but it didn't change much in the end. You were still caught attacking the Hokage and everyone was, just like Minato, had predicted, sure that you were the one who had killed the ninja.

"I want you all to keep this a secret. (y/n) shouldn't have to suffer and endure even more than they already did." Some of the Anbu looked shocked at Minato, other ones accepted his decision, even though more reluctant. "So you're plan on doing nothing? Lord Hokage, by all respect, but there has to be at least a bit of consequences for their behavior."

"I know that. I wasn't planning on letting them go just like this." You had by now lost all the will to fight, one of the Anbu having to support you because you didn't possess the strength to stand on your own. You had by now soaked your top completely on the one side, the bleeding having really stopped. But despite knowing that fainting was very likely at any moment, you forced to focus on what he was having in mind for you.

"I was thinking about remiving their title as a jonin from them, maybe even making them retire for a bit. I don't think that after this experience they'll be able to continue as they used to do. It just left too much of an impact and affected them mentally. I hope by stopping them for a while, they'll have time to recover from their experience. I'll make sure they do. You know that I care for them a lot."

Up until now you had never noticed how talented he really was in lying. But now that you were the victim, you could only be stunned as well as scared of his charms and ways of making people trust him. You had never even thought how terrifying he really was before because you had seen him as a friend. "A friend..."

Before you finally passed out, collapsing due to the blood loss and because everything had just been to much for you, you had one last thought, a resenting and pained smile on your face. "Not anymore. I just realized that this was the same Minato I knew all along. I just never saw what he didn't want me to see. And now I'm paying the price for my naivety."

#yandere naruto #yandere naruto shippuden #yandere minato #yandere minato namikaze

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picwew · 3 years

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SQUAD UP! It’s time for Yuna and his crew of miscreant demons!

(Picrews are here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, and here!)

The characters are, top to bottom, left to right--

Nakajima, Yuna: A human with unusually high magical potential. His specialty is the binding of demons into servitude, which he utilizes to stop particularly troublesome demons from threatening human populations across the globe. Most of the demons under his care were seduced by him, as he has quite a knack for making men want him. As such, several of his servants are vying for his favor, but, in his own words, “I don’t play favorites~”

Obviously, Yuna is a bit of a flirt. His tastes extend well beyond demons, into just about any non-human he can get his hands on. He has a ravenous appetite for handsome men, but no plans to settle down any time soon. It isn’t that romance doesn’t appeal to him, more that he’s still young and a little too free-spirited for anything permanent. The way he dotes on his servants, though, you’d certainly think he was in love with them, Nihil in particular.

Mourning Dove: Affectionately referred to by his coworkers as “Dovey”, this little fellow was the first of Yuna’s servants, and is therefore his most staunch defender. The details of his past are hazy, even in his own mind, but he was born into the slave trade, nameless, nothing, the psychological toll of which would not become apparent until his eventual escape. He was full of hatred for the humans who had callously treated him as property, and claimed many lives before Yuna was able to soothe his aching heart. “You’re pretty as a mourning dove,” Yuna told him. From that moment on, he decided that this would be his name.

Dovey is, above all, an empath. Much of his time recovering from a life of slavery was spent learning to feel again. Once he got the hang of it, however, he found that he felt a little too much, so much so that he’s become somewhat of a crybaby. When others are in pain, he is often the one to comfort them. His sweet disposition and cute appearance have earned him his coworkers’ love, although they still get a bit miffed with him whenever he tries to hog Yuna’s attention.

Dr. Callaway: An interesting case, and a tough nut to crack. Only Yuna knows his full name; no one knows his story. All he’s shared is that he was fingered for human experimentation, and that, no, he has neither learned his lesson nor wishes to. Still, he behaves himself well enough, perhaps because he is entirely obsessed with Yuna in the most unhealthy way. While most of his coworkers consider one another family, Dr. Callaway is detached and often mocking of their sentimentality.

As expected, Dr. Callaway is a terrible sadist. He takes great pleasure in hurting others in any way he can. Nowadays, this is limited almost entirely to insults and threats, but he has been known to get physical with others when Yuna isn’t looking. It doesn’t help that nothing seems to bother him in return. You could beat the man senseless, and he’d come out of it grinning like a jackal.

Corvo: This one was a misunderstanding--or, rather, a case of cultures clashing in a very gruesome manner. Corvo is a hybrid of demon and crowkin. Beastkin are not true demons, but are often lumped in with them, so mixed-race families are not uncommon. Unfortunately, this can lead to some problematic offspring, particularly when one or both of the parents are detached from human society. Corvo, like many crowkin, was taught that food is food, and that human meat is the most delicious of all. He bore no ill will toward humans, but his view of them as, essentially, cattle culminated in a visit from Yuna.

Following his binding, Corvo began the lengthy process of finding something he liked more than human flesh. This, as it turned out, was sweets--all sweets, from pastries, to ice cream, to candy. He had never had sweets before, and everyone agreed that they suited his bubbly, affectionate personality more than human flesh anyway. He is certainly the gentlest of all of Yuna’s servants, dedicated to his family and to protecting those in need. He’s especially fond of cats.

Erebus: Known by those who worship him as the Master of Crows, Erebus is an ill-understood being. He is ancient, but has had little to do with his own kind since time out of mind. Instead, he appears to have become so entwined with his worshipers that he can no longer live without their faith to sustain him. During the Northern Crusades, a great many of them were persecuted for their faith, and Erebus fell into a centuries-long slumber. Only when his followers began to grow in number again did he wake--and command those loyal to him to seek vengeance for their fallen brethren. Naturally, Yuna had a thing or two to say about that.

Erebus is highly asocial, but does not dislike his coworkers. It would be a stretch to say he views them as family; even so, he gets along well with them on the rare occasion Yuna can talk him out of his comfortable pocket of darkness. As the oldest of his colleagues, he is respected and even admired, but he cares little for the love of his own kind. He desires mortal love, which he receives through his worshipers. Due to their number still being relatively low, you’ll rarely catch him awake. Only Yuna seems able to rouse him, and only because Yuna is his “most cherished one”.

Mage: A troublemaker with a bark worse than his bite--but he can and will bite, so mind your fingers. Like Dr. Callaway, his true name is known only to Yuna. His coworkers know him as Mage, taken from Magenta, the name of the rather nasty chemical he produces to draw in his prey. He doesn’t harm them, but he has seduced many a married man away from his wife. Causing strife among couples is what he does best. As an incubus, he finds the taste of a married man’s energy too sweet to resist. So, of course, when he found himself seduced by Yuna, he was completely baffled--and absolutely obsessed. He still toys with married men now and then, when he gets the chance, but spends most of his time trying to talk Yuna back into bed.

Though rare, Mage can be persuaded to bust heads, and does so with the best of ‘em. He’s highly territorial, meaning that although he rather likes his colleagues, he often tangles up with them over Yuna’s affection. He is particularly hostile toward Nihil, who rather delights in teasing Mage with his closeness to their master. Outside of his romantic conflicts with his housemates, he tends to be rather lackadaisical, spending much of his free time lounging on every comfortable surface available. People find his presence enjoyable due to his easygoing disposition and passion for mischief.

Nihil: Of all the demons under Yuna’s employ, Nihil is the one who has come closest to winning his heart. Theirs is a strangely intimate relationship, one which Yuna insists is platonic--and yet, Nihil is at his side always, his obedient shadow. Of course, they weren’t always so close. Nihil is an inherently violent, cruel man whose sole purpose in life is to cause as much pain and grief as he possibly can. He is absolutely, positively insane, for no other reason than this is how he believes a demon should be. This is his aesthetic, and a demon’s aesthetic is absolute. He minds his P’s and Q’s now that he’s bound to Yuna, but never lets his “family” forget what he is, Yuna least of all.

Nihil loves no being, except, by his own admission, Yuna. He teases his master constantly, always pushing his limits, always pushing his buttons. “I am your loyal dog,” is a favorite line of his, spoken, with a pointed smile, whenever Yuna asks something of him. For some reason, it never fails to fluster Yuna, which allows Nihil to worm himself further into his darling’s heart. Unlike his colleagues, he is not afraid to get physical with Yuna, and many of their more heated arguments have ended in the bedroom. Whether Nihil actually enjoys servitude remains to be seen, but for Yuna, he would pull the moon from the sky.

Pox: The general consensus on Pox is “unfriendly, but not unbearable”. A life of self-isolation has made him difficult to approach, even more difficult to befriend, especially given that everyone he’s ever loved, he has killed. He is a demon of sickness, of plague and of rot, of suffering so old as to be carved into the bones of the earth. When he was young, he could not control the disease that spread from him. Though his mortal mother tried desperately to guide him, eventually, she was overcome, and Pox left the village he had once called home, now populated only by the dead and dying. He learned then that he could not live among his mother’s people, but he knew nothing of his father’s. Rather than seek them out and put them at risk as well, he exiled himself to the outskirts of human society, interacting with it only when necessary. With time, he came to understand his power, and was able to control it--but his peaceful life came to an end when one of the few humans he had allowed himself to love was killed in a botched robbery. Pox designated himself judge, jury, and executioner, and it wasn’t long before Yuna showed up on his doorstep.

Pox hides his self-loathing under a cold, hard outer shell. His mask is flawless, perfected through a lifetime of guilt, and he allows no one near enough to break it. His coworkers believe that they are despised by him, but in truth, he loves each of them with every inch of himself. Saying so is difficult, though, and such an admission would only encourage them to endanger themselves. He may be in complete control of his magic most days, but there are times even now when he catches himself slipping. He is desperate to protect Yuna and the strange family they have all built together, so much so that he would rather suffer in silence than risk their lives asking for help.

Seta Sericum: The peculiarity of his name has led to his coworkers calling him Silky, a moniker which he has accepted only begrudgingly. Silky is a Nephalem, the product of a love between angel and demon. Typically, his fathers’ love for one another would have ended in tragedy, but the two stayed together even after their angelic half was cast from divinity. Silky was raised in a happy home, albeit a mobile one; his fathers couldn’t risk staying in one place for too long, lest the Church track them down. Ultimately, it was the Church, their greatest fear, that was their end. They were cut down while protecting Silky, who was forced to flee in the vain hope that his absence might somehow save his fathers. The Church searched for him, but he had hidden himself well. Now an orphan, he swore vengeance on his parents’ murderers--and he got it too, once he was old enough to control his immense magical power. He despises the Church, but killed only those among its ranks who had directly harmed him. Regardless, Yuna came for him, and he submitted to servitude as recompense.

Silky’s demonic father was a real fop of a man, and his son is no different now that he’s had a chance to adjust to a normal life. He insists that everyone pull their own weight, that everything be in its place at all times, and has a fondness for indulgences such as expensive wine and imported chocolates. Without these little luxuries, he would surely have gone mad, for both his mischievous master and his trouble-making housemates frustrate him to no end. He has tried, with mixed success, to serve as a role model for them, but, oh, they are all such children. Dovey is far too naive, Dr. Callaway is far too sadistic, Corvo is far too oblivious, Mage is far too flirtatious, Nihil is far too violent, Pox is far too cold, and Vincent is far too reclusive. Erebus, at least, is well-behaved, though Silky thinks he could stand to mingle more with the group.

Vincent Blythe: On the forefront of medical progress during the Victorian Era, Dr. Vincent Blythe has become little more than a shell of his former self. When his prostitute mother was murdered by one of her stags, something snapped in him. He began targeting, torturing, and finally killing any man who frequented brothels or whom he had seen with street-walkers, believing himself to be the protector of his mother’s people. It was only then when he realized he was something more than human. His father, it turned out, had been a demon who had fallen terribly in love with his mother, but whose feelings had been spurned by her. After receiving a near-fatal wound in a skirmish with a prominent vampire hunter of the day, Vincent tucked himself away in a dark corner of London to heal. He slept for over a century, and when he woke, attempted to pick up where he’d left off. Confused, his trauma still fresh in his mind, he killed all who drew near. Phone calls were made, flights were booked, and Yuna arrived on scene to bring him back to his senses.

Vincent is terribly withdrawn. On the one hand, he is distrustful of all humans, and men in particular frighten him. On the other hand, he has had little to no experience with his own kind, and so struggles to fit in among them. He finds himself at an impasse, unable to shake the trauma of his mother’s murder, and equally unable to bond with his father’s kin. Because of this, he is prone to bouts of violent madness when he feels that he is being threatened, or when he wakes from particularly vivid nightmares, in which he witnesses his mother’s murder and can do nothing to stop it. Dr. Callaway has oft remarked that Vincent is a genius, a true medical prodigy, and that it is too bad he’s so “broken”.

#picrew #male ocs #demon ocs

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lily-orchard-gossip-blog · 2 years

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I certainly won’t say anything against any of the abuse/trauma that Lily claims to have faced in her own life, but as somebody who is both on the outside of her life looking in AND has had a lot of experience with trauma survivors that I KNOW that I can trust. Lily… …just does not seem like she has lived through, or at the very least even BEGUN to process (let alone “survive through”), the trauma that she may have. Her extremely selfish and hyperaggressive/often abusive behavior, the way she talks about mental health and more often than not grooming her fans into trusting her more than even their OWN fucking therapists that they are seeing IN REAL LIFE, her dismissal of the VERY much real cycle of abuse that I have had to work very carefully in order to keep the trauma survivors that I have talked to from falling into it themselves, her hatred of forgiveness and sociopathic bloodlust for violence even against FUCKING. CHILDREN., etc.. All of that bullcrap is just not the fucking behavior of ANYBODY who has dealt with their trauma in healthy way. So the way I see it, in regards to Lily’s love of always using her alleged trauma as a shield from any and all criticisms that she may face, there are two options here. Option number one is that Lily is just fucking lying about all of this, which (and again I just want to stress that I am NOT SAYING that this option is true, this is JUST what I have seen and MY OWN thoughts on the matter) seems to have a lot of evidence backing it up. Considering how Lily‘s stories of how she became traumatized are always extremely contradictory and DEEPLY suspiciously different from the information that people are actually able to find OUTSIDE of just what Lily says about the events that traumatized her. And also, as I just said, seeing as how Lily acts NOTHING like a lot of trauma victims typically act like, even early on in their recoveries. And is typically the behavior rather found in people that CAUSE trauma, I.E. the abusers. Which Lily has also shown a GREAT deal of extremely abusive and grooming behavior towards most people around her, NO MATTER how close it is that they are.

Or we have option number two. And that option is that Lily has, for some unknown fucking reason, refused to get any and all treatment for the extreme narcissistic personality disorder and the dangerously hyperaggressive, violent fantasies that have been brought on by her psychopathy that somehow her trauma from abuse ended up causing her for, wait for it, some unknown fucking reason. And those highly debilitative mental disabilities have been slowly eating her fucking alive for the past Few. Fucking. DECADES. Let’s just saying that if this option is true Lily is approaching even MORE extremely self—destructive and bizarre/creepy behavior that will make her creating fucking pie charts and graphing out all of her relationships in some desperate attempt to convince herself that she’s wasn’t an horrifically abusive, obsessively fucking controlling, vile partner in them seem like something fucking sane to do. However, while (again) I DO NOT want to say that Lily has never experienced trauma or abuse in her entire fucking life and has been just making it the fuck up to feed her own extreme, self—destructive narcissism out of twisted, fucked up sense of self—preservation. I do feel the need to say that (again) as somebody who has worked with trauma survivors MYSELF, it is extremely unlikely and I would go so far as to say exceedingly RARE even, for a person who has been an actual victim of abuse or trauma to exhibit the behavior that Lily has been doing.

And that‘s exactly why I think that Lily‘s videos in which she discusses trauma and mental health to be so horrifically toxic and dangerous. Because, whether she has actually experienced trauma/abuse or not, whether it is option one or option two. It is all too VERY fucking clear to me that Lily is a deeply disturbed and unwell person to say the least. And somebody like that, somebody who just refuses to get the help and treatment that they so OBVIOUSLY fucking need for their completely (for lack of a better term) FRAGMENTED fucking mind, should NOT be claiming to be in an experienced position on giving advice about how best to deal with mental health and the best ways to recover from one’s trauma, let alone an fucking AUTHORITATIVE one!!!

Submitted by Anonymous

#submission

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inosukeslefttoe · 3 years

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girl.... omg.... this game rlly means it when it says itll show me the ultimate despair....

so my first fav character was sayaka right,,, and then it was mondo,,, WHICH ISNT TOO GREAT FOR ME LMAO ALL MY FRIENDS HAVE SUCH TRAGIC FATES THIS GAME IS FULL OF TRAGEDY BUT ITS SO FUCKING WELL DONE AND IM EVEN MORE OBSESSED NOW (was low key scared id actually get depressed bc of this since i tend to get rlly attached to things like this,, and yeah i miss mondo like hell but ITS IN SUCH AN EXHILARATING WAY YKNOW AND I CANT WAIT TO KEEP PLAYING THE GAME)

but lmao i just wanna scream about all the little things that made this part of the game even more tragic,,, so first of all is like,, how similar mondo and chihiro are right ?? like at first you see them and ur like “wow these two are lowkey polar opposites bc mondo big tough violent outspoken scary man while chihiro is tiny passive inferiority complex timid man” but after hearing both of their stories, you can tell that they both suffer from the same things and have the same goal. they both have terrible inferiority complexes, they just deal with them differently: chihiro kinda gave into it and ran away from it by deciding to hide his true self behind something he saw as “weaker” than him and letting that become a part of his identity out of fear that he was too weak to try and change/fight it. Mondo on the other hand overcompensated big time for it and became the ultimate manly man when inside he felt nothing but weak and guilt. also like,, a few times mondo mentioned that hes rlly bad with emotions right and he handles them through anger and violence so,,, this means that whenever he has these negative feelings towards himself he has no healthy way to let them out and just keeps pushing them down and trying to maintin this facade of a strong man and never letting anyone know that hes “weak” but this just ends up as a big ball of negativity and adds to his “weakness”...and like... bro chihiro and mondo couldve grown so much stronger together bc they suffer from the same things but could learn how to deal with it better together and balance each other out.... but mondo acted so quickly and violently and did something he couldnt undo which just added to his self hatred and YKNOW ALSO KILLED THE MOST PURE HEARTED STRONGEST PERSON IN HERE BUT AT THE SAME TIME MAKES IT HARD FOR YOU TO BLAME MONDO AND HATE HIM FOR IT BUT UGH THERES JUST SO MANY LAYERS AND ITS SO EMOTIONAL

next.... as you can tell by the gif.... IS MONDOS RELATIONSHIP WITH TAKA... ill prolly make a post screaming abt how much i love them later lmao but like... god what hurt the most for me personally during this bit wasnt that my favorite boy died/had a whole tragic story.... but that his best friend had to go through such betrayal and such loss. like... not only did taka have to see this side of mondo that mondo was desperately trying to hide and find out that his best friend had broken everything he stood for and yknow,,, feel the ultimate sense of betrayal, but he also had to see his best friend brutally killed in front of him. like,, holy shit man mondo was straight up confessing but taka... TAKA REFUSED TO BELIEVE IT AFTER ALL THIS EVIDENCE AND THAT HIT SO MUCH HARDER THAN LEONS DEATH AND THE LIL RHYTHM MINI GAME THING bc in leons case he was like “it was self defense !! i had to !! its not my fault !!” after murdering someone,, but in this case,,,, mondo admitted to it but it was his Bro who refused to accept it and was fighting tooth and nail to save his best friend. AND LIKE,, TAKA IS THE ULT MORAL COMPASS RIGHT ?? AND HE STRAIGHT UP HAD TO KNOW IT WAS MONDO,, AND THAT BREAKS LITERALLY EVERY RULE ON ANY MORAL COMPASS,,, BUT TAKA STILL FOUGHT FOR HIM WITH EVERYTHING HE HAD..... also i noticed taka cursing and that seemed so ooc but so utterly heartbreaking.... and i love how they added extra drama in the game by having the va violently scream in agony for taka like.... talk about despair lmao. omg and my brother is watching the anime right and he was like lol you should watch the scene from it too if you wanna be more sad.... AND OH GOD HE WAS RIGHT... the fact that taka resorted to some violence by grabbing mondo aggressively and shaking him and yelling ... and the fact that he was like “why did you kill him make me understand” kinda thing and mondo couldnt even look at taka or say anything.... BUT EVEN WITH THAT,,, TAKA STILL COULDNT BEAR HIS FRIEND BEING KILLED AND BEGGED MONOKUMA TO KILL H I M INSTEAD ??? GOD MY HEART CANT FUCKING HANDLE THAT. LIKE THAT BOND THEY HAVE BRO AND HOW MONDO SEVERED IT AND HOW TAKA WAS NOT GONNA LET IT BE BROKEN THAT EASILY AND HHHHHH IM . SO . SAD. but seriously... that was a whole new level of despair imo for this game to add such a beautiful relationship between these two and have it end so tragically by taka, the moral compass, dropping his morals and refusing to see the facts in front of him and still ready to die for his bro.... also the whole “make me understand” line kinda just... he couldnt even condemn mondo for it, he wanted to know his reasonings so he could know that his friend wasnt a bad guy and couldnt die yknow...

HAHA I GOT ALL SAD AGAIN WRITING THIS DUDE BUT ITS JUST SO GOOD HOW COULD I NOT MAKE A POST YOU FEEL ?? im so hyped to start chapter three tomorrow but i swear if it gets any sadder it might actually affect my mood and ill have to take a break... but i think that the death of my fav + the relationship doomed to despair is quite a high level to beat for me personally since i always find things to be more sorrowful when it has anything to do with human connections like that lmao

1/2/21

#danganronpa trigger happy havoc #mondo oowada #kiyotaka ishimaru #mondo death #chihiro fujisaki #ishimondo #ultimate despair

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daily-commission-fear · 3 years

Text

My genshin impact oc just putting this hear so I don’t forget anything also no tags because I’m ✨embarrassed as these are bad✨also I was super tired while doing this will do second oc in the morning also for my first one trigger warning for alcoholism smoking death and sucide

Pic crew used here

Oc name = Heiko Schleiermacher

Pronouns = he/him

Vision = cryo

Weapon = catalyst but can use a bow if forced he won’t like it though

Age = 25

Sexuality = gay

Height = 5’8

Date of birth = 23/06

Where he lives = in mondstadt and while he works in the city he lives in springevale because he enjoys the smaller crowds and the fish by the pond are calming and it’s a lot cheaper

What he does = mixer/bouncer at angles share but will work at dawn winery manor when certain people come into the city to hide

Backstory = Heiko parents moved to liyue from Fontaine when Heiko was only a child in an attempt to escape there shady past and it almost worked! For then years up until heiko was aged 15 they all lived a peaceful life then in Qingce Village then the attack happened the fatui attacked they killed both of heiko parents and his best friend who they mistook for him. It turns out heiko mum was doing some work with the fatui but when she released she was helping making a weapon that would kill thounds she ran even tho she new the fatui would kill her and her whole family for the betrayal. Heiko was walking into his house after helping his elderly nabhour paint his walls and that’s when he found the body’s burlity murder on the floor and note written by his mother in her dying moments explaining everything and that he must run away from liyue so they can’t ever work out he wasn’t killed and they got to the wrong boy and that they will always love and watch over him. That was the moment he got his vison sobbing over the body’s of the only people in the world he loved yet he had to run like they said he hung his vison around his neck using his neckless he was given for his birthday the last thing he was given from his family and ran with what little mora they had and a single photo of the 4 of them. He didn’t have to worry about his friends family as his family was all he had as he was an orphan he was pretty much heiko brother.

Heiko ran to mondstadt as quickly as he could and also changed his name to Heiko there at this point he doesn’t even remember his real name. When he got to mondstadt he was put into the orphanage and also join the knights of favonius he was desperate for revenge it being his only obsession it all he was at that point he feared getting closer to the other knights because of what happened to his friends and was extremely closed off though he did have to talk to them a lot especially Jean who was around the same age at the time because he would constantly push himself to hard and she would have to take him to the nuns to get help. But overall the rest of Heiko teen age years where just training to be a better fighter and rising in the ranks of knights while completely isolating himself from others and falling deeper and deeper into a pit of self hatred, wrath and regret he blamed himself for what happened even made himself believe it was his own fault “maybe mother could have saved herself father and him if she had got help instead of writing to me… if only I was never born”(friendship rank 10 line) and even sducidal but he promised himself he would not die until he got revenge then he could see his family again. This time was also when he discovered his love of alcohol and smoking. the edge that was taken off when he smoked and the only time he’s ever happy is when he drinks, this meant he quickly became an addict as soon as he hit 18 you would often see him at the bars drinking away the pain when the training yard kicked him out as apparently 3am is bad time for training?!

As an adult a lot changed with the fatui actually inside mondstadt Heiko was finding life harder and harder to hold back eventually aged 23 he couldn’t anymore. A fatui man was wearing his father watch he knew it was his fathers because of the graving on the side Heiko launched himself at the man using the ice in his vison to pin him to the wall and integrated him and soon found out this was the man that killed his family and ruined his life. Seething with rage Heiko killed the man just as brutally as he did to his family luckily it was in a conner of mondstadt nobody ever goes to except jean who has to work that area also his boss…Jean heard it all and is conflicted while she does think he deserve to die because of what he did (just not as painfully as that) she can’t let someone as violent and vengeful stay as a knight especially one that could cause major problems for mondstadt so while she agrees to keep It quiet because of that and because she has a soft spot for her old friend but he would have to leave the knights. Heiko accepts the deal he was having his own problems with the knights anyway not bealving there aggressive enough and way to passive letting to many foes walk all over them. But dispute this he felt so empty the knights are all he ever knew and he just got revenge yet he doesn’t feel happy he doesn’t feel like he’s done anything he still feels as empty as before so what does he do goes down to the angles share and get wasted. While walking out the door he makes the mistake (or miracle) of telling diluc that they shouldn’t look for his body. That’s right in his drunken haze he admitted that he’s going to try and commit sucide to diluc who quickly followed him to the tree in springevale where he was going to hang himself but diluc stoped him. Heiko had a panic attack and once again confessed his life story to a man he had only really known from the battle they fought together while both knights and when it was over he simply sobed into diluc chest. Diluc took pity on Heiko and offered him a job and if it came to much at the angles share that the winery is open to him as well. At the time Heiko never really questioned it to emotionally to do so tho as time goes on he never really understood why but as the next two years goes on he becomes closer to diluc something he hasn’t done for years and is curtly trying to find a reason to live and to stop his addiction before they end his life

But that’s his story and that’s where we are know with Heiko now a addict that’s trying to quite and a lost soul trying to find a reason. He finding a little bit a love in the world and as time goes on mabey he will move on from that day

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yeah-all-of-it · 3 years

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*holy fuck, it’s GALLAVICH time* 💖🧑🏻‍🦰🧑🏻💖- share one Gallavich fic or art or post that you’ve enjoyed recently, or share something you’ve created recently, or just feel free to say how much you love them! & pass this on to your fellow Gallavich fans!

I’m so excited, I’ve never gotten an ask before! I may go overboard:) Here goes!

Fics

A fic I read just yesterday that I enjoyed a lot is called Trust Me by GallavichGeek13. It’s a one shot that takes place after Ian and Mickey’s discussion on the bed. It’s a little bitta smut and a whole lotta sweet. Another fun read is Bath Time for Bondage by ProstheticLoVe. There’s no actual bondage, just sweetness and sexiness and loving husbands. I prefer mostly canon compliant fics and both of these fit the bill perfectly.

Fan Art

There are so many super talented artists out there but one I’ve been loving lately is @WhatsaMattavich on Twitter. This drawing literally brought me to tears when I saw it. Such a beautiful testament to Ian and Mickey’s love and how they have literally saved each other. This one is absolutely beautiful as well. Also in love with this little piece here of our favorite shitty house that we will all miss so much, by @lil-lillerzzz. And pretty much everything by @steorie is phenomenal.

Posts/Gifs

I teared up reading this post by @gallavichsecurity. It just so perfectly describes Mickey’s love for Ian which has simply always been there, despite time and distance.

I’ve watched these gifs by @mickeygifs about a thousand times analyzing every squeeze, every caress, every detail. I’m. Obsessed. The amount of care, commitment, and detail that Noel and Cameron put into these characters boggles the mind. They are so good you forget that they are acting.

Other Stuff

My love for Gallavich began the moment I heard Mickey’s voice break while uttering one simple word: “Don’t”. Up until that point, I didn’t fully realize the depth of Mickey’s feelings for Ian. Yeah, I knew that their physical chemistry was off the charts and there were definitely feelings there, especially on Ian’s end. But when Ian told Mickey he was leaving and there was no telling when he would return, Mickey absolutely broke. Seeing this tough guy, who hasn’t even fully admitted to himself that he’s gay, struggling to fight back tears over Ian leaving was so surprising to me the first time I watched it. He had held his emotions in check for so long and he just couldn’t do it anymore, not when he was faced with the prospect of losing Ian.

I loved seeing Mickey’s tough guy facade break down over time to reveal a man who, despite all the abuse and hatred he had endured, was capable of loving another human so deeply, passionately, and tenderly. He took care of Ian at his lowest point, stood by his side, supported him, loved Ian when he couldn’t love himself.

Ian in turn showed Mickey that he was worthy of love, despite what his violent, homophobic father had told him all his life. He was desirable, and boy did Ian desire him. Loved sleeping with him but didn’t want just that. He wanted all of him. He wanted the intimacy that comes with kissing and telling others that you are a couple. The intimacy that comes with being completely vulnerable with another person. He wanted that with Mickey. He pushed Mickey out of his comfort zone so they could claim those things for themselves.

No matter where their journey took them, they always found their way back to each other. They fight for each other and love each other so desperately, they are fervent protectors of one another. They both had pretty horrific upbringings, never thought they’d have much of anything, “fucked for life, man”. Now they are building this beautiful life together, with well paying legal jobs, a lovely new apartment, enough money they don’t have to worry about utilities being shut off or where their next meal is coming from. Hopefully add some babies to the mix one day. They’d be wonderful, loving fathers that would break the Milkovich/Gallagher cycle of abuse and neglect.

Simply put, they saved each other. From poverty, abuse, neglect, hopelessness, self hatred. Together, they have won.

I’m not working on anything particular at the moment. I’ve discovered that I love making gifs so I do some of those when an idea strikes. I’ve been dabbling in video making but my editing skills are incredibly basic compared to so many amazing videos I’ve seen, but I love the emotion that certain songs put with certain clips evokes. I may share one soon if I can work up the courage to put my rudimentary videos out there for all to see.🙂

#this was long! I’m sorry.#but really fun #shameless #gallavich #ian and mickey

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desparikon · 3 years

Text

Murdoc/Mac fanfic misfire #5

Codex wants Murdoc for Russ, and Mac’s determined to talk to him (and make a deal of his own) before potentially losing him forever.

Mac paced near the interrogation room, hoping movement would burn off his building anger before it boiled into rage he’d be unable to privately discharge. The conversations he’d eavesdropped on revealed that he wasn’t fully included in their plans. Oh, how it Pissed. Him. Off. His blood simmered under the silent judging from the war room.

Oooooh, Murdoc’s in a mood today!

What do you plan on saying? Whatever idea you think you have…

He’s clearly not going to cooperate, putting on a spectacle like that.

Every time Murdoc’s involved, you get thrown off your game--

Implying Mac couldn’t handle Murdoc. He could always handle Murdoc! Everyone rushed to condemn Murdoc’s obsession, and his twisted, carnal desires, but didn’t consider that Mac had trapped Murdoc. Murdoc was his.

No one knew about the struggle accepting his fluid and ambiguous feelings for Murdoc, forcing him to confront ugly things about himself. They didn’t see the painful swings between hatred and affection, or the guilt-filled urge to throw his current life away to explore an abstract, yet forbidden, path. (What does a future with Murdoc even look like?)

Oblivious to what their nosy, concerned eyes caged him with. Visiting Murdoc hadn’t been allowed. Fine. Then came loss and Codex and grief and the world going to hell. The fear of leaving too much unsaid blindsided him. Anxiety escalated into desperation, to acting out, and one final, exasperated interrogation later, crushing hopelessness shut him down.

He’d drawn too much attention. He wouldn’t be granted permission to visit Murdoc. Even if he was, he’d be heavily supervised, and unable to truthfully express himself. (What could he say to Murdoc, when he didn’t fully understand himself?)

After all that, after everything Codex destroyed, they dared to take Murdoc too? Well. Mac was done playing nice. Life continued pushing him toward the edge with nothing to lose.

He was sick of being stuck in a box! Sick of running the hamster wheel! Sick of bottling everything up! DON’T TELL HIM HOW TO FEEL!! DON’T TELL HIM HOW TO LIVE HIS LIFE!!

Mac quietly growled, digging his nails into his palms.

Forget rules, and black and white, and being good. He was going to do everything to protect his loved ones, and if his choices backfired, he’d make sure to be the first to pay up.

What a relief.

He took a few deep breaths, steadying himself before opening the door.

One shot, but what else was new. So what if Murdoc’s feeling combative today? So what if it’d been an absolute STRUGGLE to drag him from the garage to the interrogation room? It’s fine. Everything's fine. Leave it to Mac to garner Murdoc’s cooperation, since Murdoc likes only him, after all. Absorb Murdoc’s anger, violent fallout from Codex, his friends’ increased suspicion. Whatever. Anything and everything to save the world, right?

No outburst, no greeting, nothing, as Mac entered and sat across the table. Not even a glance in his direction.

The smile Mac hadn’t noticed he’d had, fell into a frown rivaling Murdoc’s, the excitement at finally meeting again quickly twisting into nervousness. Murdoc tapped rhythmically on the table, outwardly oblivious to the handcuffs firmly digging into his wrists, his earlier defiance having earned an extremely short leash. The dark circles under his eyes, and slight furrow in his brow made him look tired, or displeased, at most. But his vibes warned the tension needed only the smallest spark.

“You’re not going back,” Mac blurted, his brain deciding the superficial reassurance was the perfect opener after being starved for Murdoc’s attention.

The tapping didn’t falter as Murdoc continued staring pointedly at the door.

Worried he mistook the statement as a threat, Mac tried again. “We’re not taking you back to the black site.”

Mac’s heart ached. They were finally together again, but Murdoc hated him, and wasn’t interested in talking? What was he waiting for otherwise, if not to “go home”?

“Look, we don’t have a lot of t--”

“Where’s your fucking sperm donor?” Murdoc interrupted, in a casual, overly sweet tone.

In different circumstances, Mac would’ve laughed. Quite the change from last time. Murdoc hadn’t been shy about expressing his opinion on Mac’s dad. But to be so openly aggressive about it while being unaware Mac agreed?

“He’s not here.”

Murdoc gave a small, disinterested hum, fueling sudden, small flashes of anger. How dare Murdoc be more concerned with his dad’s absence!

“Enough.” Mac leaned forward, and clapped his hand over Murdoc’s. “I need your help.”

“No.”

He felt Murdoc’s hand tense, and quickly removed his own; he enjoyed having all his fingers. “This is about you.”

“No,” Murdoc stated more firmly, sitting up straight and tensing his shoulders.

“The Phoenix--”

“No. I’m not doing it. I’m not gonna get forced into anymore deals. No.”

“Just listen. I’m,” Mac hesitated, knowing Murdoc could destroy him with even the smallest show of vulnerability. “I’m begging you.”

“You’re begging me? Really?!” A small, sadistic smile appeared at Mac’s flinch. “That’s the thing about playing the high stakes, isn’t it? Eventually, you run out of aces, and, oh no! At the most inconvenient time too!”

The tension remained, even as Murdoc playfully mocked, “I’m begging you! That’s cute. It’s...well, you weren’t very convincing, but it was a nice try. I have nothing left to lose. You know that.”

Force him to light the match. Of course. Mac slouched down in his chair, a shudder shooting up his spine. “But Cassian does.”

“Are you serious?!”

Mac curled into himself, crossing his arms across his chest. He didn’t dare look up; he hated confrontation. Soon, Mac weakly reassured himself, Murdoc would understand he’d meant Cassian had him to lose.

Truthfully, he hadn’t expected their last meeting to leave Murdoc this angry. Maybe he deserved it. If Murdoc went off, maybe he could make Murdoc like him again.

“You all pretend to be morally superior, but that hasn’t stopped you people from using Cassian against me since the day you discovered he exists! I’m sick of it! Just leave him alone, MacGyver! Whatever revenge you want is on me! How long are you going to make him pay for what I’ve done?”

Mac squeezed his eyes shut. Still managed to hit where it hurt most, even though there was no way Murdoc could know the circumstances surrounding his dad’s death.

“Why do you want to be so much like your dad?! He abandoned you, Angus! He didn’t even want to be in your life until he was on his deathbed! What, he shows up, says he’s sorry, and now everything’s fine?? Do you really not see what he is?!”

Mac’s heart ache strengthened into stabs, Murdoc’s ranting becoming increasingly more desperate, “He gets worse every time! He won’t be able to hide his true colors forever! Or maybe he has, but you just accept that he’s a terrible person. And you’re not worried he’s going to turn on you? You need to get away from him! Now! Right now! Give him enough time, and he’ll destroy you too! Just because he’s blood doesn’t mean you owe him!”

The implication that Murdoc and his dad had multiple encounters (meaning the black site was not as locked down as he’d been told) gave rise to a possessiveness that’d become common any time Murdoc was mentioned. He hated when other people insisted they knew Murdoc best.

Murdoc belonged to him! He’d spent the most time with Murdoc, experienced every word, every action, every spark, or tingle, or whatever it was that’d passed between them. A million tiny things to analyze. An eternity he’d wasted fighting the wrong enemy. He feared using up all his chances to be in Murdoc’s life.

So discovering his dad probably altered Murdoc’s feelings before Mac could see him, maybe because of his break-in attempts, Made. Him. Want. To--

“He’s a formality! He partially created you, but sharing DNA doesn’t d--”

Mac slammed his hand onto the table. “FUCK HIM!! I’m NOT him! And before he died, I made damn sure he knew he was my father in title only, and deserved NO place in my life!”

Embarrassed by his outburst, and Murdoc’s stunned, wide-eyed stare, Mac leaned forward onto the table, folding his arms under him. “Um. So whatever...problem you two had, died with him.”

The tension dissipated immediately. If Mac had known Murdoc’s problem was with his dad (and not him!), he would’ve gladly announced his death upon entering, and saved them the roller coaster of emotions.

“And I didn’t mean to sound like I was threatening Cassian. I swear, I won’t let anything happen to him. He’ll always have Phoenix’s protection, and mine. OK? Please hear me out?”

"Angus! So excited to talk to me!"

Mac's heart fluttered at Murdoc's smile, his playful tone. Just like Murdoc always was.

“Phoenix is trading you to an eco-terrorist organization, known as Codex, for our owner, my boss, Russ T—Focus, focus—Russ Taylor. Now look, Phoenix’s agents are authorized to kill you to prevent your escape, and Codex is all too eager to get their hands on you. But, I’m going to unlock your handcuffs at the exchange because I want you to have a chance. And I could use your help. I want to make a deal.”

“What kind of deal?”

“I want to hire you to do what you do best: kill people.”

Murdoc’s eyes lit up. “Oh! I’ve only been waiting for this day my entire life! Who’s getting it? More annoying relatives you want me to take care of?”

The Merchant was in terrible shape currently, but Mac had a sneaking suspicion he’d talked while descending into mental disarray.

“The guy who’s been in the black site with you, The Merchant. What do you know about him?”

“Oooooh, I have a fancy accent! Which makes me smart! The smartest! Blah blah blah, Codex and DOOM and world domination and—Murdoc, stop pestering the local wildlife! Blah, blah, blah, Codex will come for me, and when they doooo~ you’ll all be sorry!”

“Wow. That’s...”

Potentially a good sign. If Murdoc held that much contempt toward The Merchant, maybe it extended to Codex.

“I’m not sure? If I should be disappointed I missed that? But at least you know what Codex is like, since he talks about it?”

“Used to. He doesn’t do much coherent talking anymore. You want me to kill him, Angus?” Murdoc rolled his eyes. “Gladly. For free. Best friend discount, because that rat definitely has it coming.”

“Actually, I’m more interested in Codex’s destruction. I want all their operatives dead.”

“Do you know how many people you’re talking about?!”

“You can come at them from a different angle. Starting with refusing to work with them. You mean something to their plans, so much so, they’re willing to trade Phoenix’s highest value agent, for you. Your noncompliance will break something important.”

“So? You and Phoenix apparently haven’t managed to make much progress.”

“No, but we’re working on it, and I know your help would be invaluable. You’re incredibly skilled in ways we aren’t, you know the criminal underworld, you have connections. Your reputation lets you go places we can’t. So here’s my proposal: until Codex is defeated, kill any of their agents, and I’ll let you do anything you want to me. To be cashed in as many times as you want.”

A devilish grin spread across Murdoc’s face as he practically vibrated with excitement(?). “Of course I’m in, I can’t say no when you’re indefinitely offering up your absolutely perfect self. You should be scared, by the way.”

Murdoc’s fantasies came in two flavors, and if he chose torture, then so be it. He’d rather go out by Murdoc than Codex.

“I’m just glad you said yes.”

“I’m not gonna miss the fun! It’s, like, a reverse surprise party of Death!”

“Can you not—you know what, never mind.”

#macgyver #mine

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