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#i also got a bunch of changes in a few things which are always tedious and annoying

toxooz · 2 years

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What are some of your characters negative traits? Idk if you’d want to answer that, but I think it adds so much depth to the characters and makes them more fleshed out

ooOOO YES INTRIGUING so I'll just do a few of the more notable/ harder to catch ones bc yall already know mfs like Zortzi are nothing but negative traits lmfao and also a majority of these are worked on/ addressed as the comic will go on so:

Ollie is a lot harsher on Remy than the rest of the squad, mainly because he raised him a good bit, they're related, and Ollie always had to be Remy's keeper but as they get older it gets a little more complex and low key genuinely affects Remy at times and is a contributor to What Eventually Happens in the comic. It's a mixture between Ollie's "you were raised better than that and know better" mindset and his set expectations on Remy that he subconsciously harbors so he can get a little ruthless when it comes to Remy. Ollie also dealt with expectation issues when it came to Ponti first joining the squad. Ollie would deliberately keep him at arms length in expectation that he would turn on them so he kept a guard up that blinded him of any genuine effort Ponti made to be a better person because it wasn't good enough for Ollie. Despite Ponti actually making an effort to change for the better, Ollie never acknowledged the efforts or dismissed them in the name of "he's just pretending to be good so he can turn on us" and also just his relentless push of "that's not a good enough deed to make up for what you've done". Perhaps he deliberately held such impossible expectations for Ponti out of bitterness and spite because he knew Ponti wouldn't be able to meet them and fail so Ollie could have a sense of I Knew It whenever he did fail and to have a good reason to kick him out -to make Ponti become frustrated and to feel defeated as a way to take his anger and resentment out on him and to “ pay” for what he did. It was only when Ollie realized his mindsets he had for Ponti were setting both of them up for failure and decided that Ponti’s own personal redemption wasn’t based on his own expectations. They were finally able to open up to each other and connect when Ollie was like “ It is not up to me to measure you’re own personal growth, that is for only you to decide. I can only be there for you and try to help you throughout your change”. When Ollie saw Ponti in a different light of someone who is genuinely trying to right his wrongs in any way possible rather than a rat who still had evil intentions, he was able to be sympathetic and softer towards him. Which surprise! Was actually very fruitful for both of them. Ollie is (mainly subconsciously) resentful toward his mother for how he had to leave their tribe and how she couldn’t come with them and Ollie ending up living with Remy’s mom which caused a bunch of problems but yeah he never really addresses it to himself or even realizes but boi it’s there now imma stop on him cause i gotta talk abt other OCs but lORD hes got a lot

Remy is very judgmental and tends to be a hypocrite in most cases. It’s dangerously easy for him to catch onto something he doesn’t like about someone and to let it fester in him until he full on dislikes said person hence why he can be so snarky with literally everyone. He can shut down easily and it’s difficult to get him out of his sulky funk which can make him tedious to hang out with sometimes (at least he thinks so, and referring to Ollie’s section im sure Ollie has gotten fed up with it and said some things he didn’t mean sometimes) He’s also deliberately mean and keeps people at a distance as a defense mechanism to prevent anyone from getting too close to him since he’s cripplingly terrified of vulnerability and getting attached to anyone and anything due to his childhood. From never really being included in the tribe in the first place and spending most of his days in a chicken coop ( when Ollie wasn’t dragging him out to explore or hunt) to the way they had to abruptly leave everyone and everything behind, he is left with a mentality that he is better off alone to keep from ‘feeling too much’ so in his mind if he’s mean to everyone they wont want to get to know him therefore ensuring his emotional safety. luckily Oscar is too stupid to get it :’) Im sure when Ollie got Remy his chicken for his bday Remy instinctively got mad at him bc he Really didn’t want to get attached to Caramel but spoiler alert he’s obsessed with them chickens now

Kari is very socially skittish as in she needs a lot of reassurance if she’s invited anywhere. If she so much as picks up on any subtle body language or tone that someone might potentially not want her to come with she will not go at all and if she’s at an event and she gets the slightest impression that nobody really wants her there she will up and leave as well. Even if there is no actual indication that somebody doesn’t want her there and everyone is really just vibing she’ll still leave over the assumption. With the squad she’s mostly gotten over that habit but even then there may be some times where someone in the squad doesn’t sound as enthusiastic as they normally do and she will instantly jump to “o they’d rather me jump in the ocean with 1 ton of weights than hang out with me another second :’3c” she is also terrified of confrontation so you’ll never really know when she’s gone or not. I’m sure she unknowingly stood Ollie up a couple times when they first started hanging out bc he’s so naturally monotone she probably assumed he thought she was annoying as hell sOOO many times 😭 but in reality Ollie would be big sad and alone waitin for her. Now if they were to meet up he will go to her house(or his house since she p much lives there mostly) and be with her a lil bit while she gets ready so she doesn’t have to deal with the anxiety of meeting up but it’s still difficult to keep her around at events and hangouts due to her Backstory™

Abio likes to know just about everything for knowledge sake but that also drives to him to be nosey at times and can stunt himself from overthinking in most cases. He may go down some rabbit holes bc he Has To Know for instance when he and Ponti were first getting acquainted, Abio could not understand why Ponti behaved the way he did and low key wanted to know more about his backstory. He wasn’t going to outright ask about it of course but it was a nagging thought and when Wig inevitably was introduced to Abby, having the utmost knowledge about Ponti’s life, Abby’s curiosity got the best of him and he found out Way Too Much about Ponti than he was ready to handle which caused them to have a little distant era since Abby was terrified of Ponti for a good while after that. That being said Abby intruded on Ponti’s life against his knowing which resulted in Ponti having to bring up parts of his life that he definitely was not ready to tell Abby yet. Also the whole thing with Abby trying to write down eeeverything he learns about skateboarding so much so that he ends up getting stuck and freezes up when he’s actually trying to skateboard bc he’s trying to remember everything he’s written down plUS with his eye powers and his ability to get into someones head, he has gone down some mental roads that he definitely should not have solely because he wants to know more. It’s like trying to play minecraft “for 10 minutes” and accidentally playing for 3 hours bc of all the rabbit trails that’s how it is for Abby when he’s in someones brain like im sure he’s Literally traumatized from the memories that he accidentally saw while in Ponti’s head so it took him a great amount of self control to be able to get in someones head and not wander

AIGHT thats all the ones ill do to keep it from getting too long idk if theres any specific character lemme know 😭

#i would go into ponti too but i feel like his is just so obvious lmfao plus i already went into his backstory #imma nap tho peace #then imma hang with bf after but AFTER THAT i should still be awake enough to draw the goretuber #so expect the goretober like late af ig lmfao #ollie #kari #abio #remy

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danielleitloudernow · 6 months

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This came up on my FYP feed and I thought it would be super fun to do in honor of NaNoWriMo.

20 Questions

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

I have 30: 2 series, 5 WIPs, and a whole bunch of one shots 😁

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

134,500. Not sure how I hit an even number, but that's fun!

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Mostly Korrasami (The Legend of Korra) and JEmily (Criminal Minds), but I have written for WarriorBard (Xena Warrior Princess), Ramvers (Captain Marvel), and Pricefield (Life is Strange). I'm working on originals, too, but that's neither here nor there.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Fuck Was I

The Consequences of Jello

Profiles and Princesses

Measure the Coefficient of Static Friction Between Us

The Violets in the Mountains Have Broken Rocks

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Always. I always respond to comments. It's so fun interacting with readers, and often, other writers. I've made a few friends from it and it's been so great. I have been known to drop off the face of the earth so I don't answer for a long ass time, but j always answer. Plus, I think it's a great way to show appreciation for those taking the time to interact. I love those emails telling me a fic has a comment. I poured so much of myself and my time into something and someone took the time to say something about it! It's pure magic.

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I think my fics are all HEAs, honestly. But there's a healthy dosing of angst throughout a lot of them.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Probably any of them, but Fuck Was I if I had to choose.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I did and I have. A fellow writer once called it "flaming troll shit" and since I changed my perspective to see it that way, I A) am considerably less bothered, and B) haven't really noticed it since.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I do write smut. I write the type of smut I want to read and it's always evolving. I don't really do like, BDSM (love to read it, don't have much urge to write it, though), but I'll throw in some kink once in a while. Really, I guess I just like to write real sex. The emotions, the connection, the want.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

Honestly, no. It's never really been something on my radar. It feels like a lot to keep track of or to meld and that's just a lot. Kudos to those who can and do, though.

11. Have you ever had a fiction stolen?

I really hope not. Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, but plagiarism is illegal, kids.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Not that I'm aware of.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I have not. I have a beta reader (shout out to ireallyshouldnt_behere) who tells me if I'm an idiot or gives me suggestions, but we haven't moved into the realm of actual co-author (yet). We have joked about it before, and I would love to try a co-writing fic with someone.

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

Honest to God, JEmily. I had this theory when Criminal Minds first started back in the day that Emily and JJ got a little too drunk one night and clothes came off, that it turned into a thing. And then Will came along and Emily had to go and break her own damn heart because she didn't think she was good enough or JJ would be in danger being with her. Which is funny, given the Lauren arc, but I digress. But also, Xena and Gabrielle, always, because I grew up on XWP and those two were so obviously in love.

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

A novel I started writing 12 years ago 🤣 I love the concept and the characters and what I want to do with it, where I expect it to go. But holy fuck, it's been tedious. I have like...40k words of just bullshit that's not even really connected.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Emotions. Sometimes tension. Angst. Smut.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Dialogue. And moving from point A to point B. Sometimes grammar (and that annoys me most of all).

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I've done it, but let's be honest, it's Google translated because I'm American and for some reason we think English is the only language...

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Legend of Korra. I had read something that just made my head hurt and I thought "I can write better than that!" Spoiler alert, that's a really shitty reason to write something and no, you can't always 'write something better.' Plus, everyone is different: voice, styles, confidence, all that. Anyway, I cranked out a random idea (Living on a Spare) I thought was funny, and here we are.

20. Favorite fic you've ever written?

Oh, why do you make me choose? That's a really good question. I think Chaos Theory (at least at the moment). I just found a bunch of bad pick-up lines and turned them into something ridiculous.

Just for funsies, I'mma tag @thewillowtree3 @blackbird-brewster @cargopantsprentiss @ahhhsami and hope you guys do it but really it's up to you! Cheers, yo!

#ao3 #ao3 fic #ao3 fanfic #ao3 writer #writing #writer #fanfic #fanfic writer #fanfic writing #nanowrimo #for fun #wlw fanfic #wlw love #wlw #lesbian #lgbtqia

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bakedbakermom · 1 year

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Hey teacher if you actually think taking a socially isolated six year old, sitting her down with the class, and then letting them talk about ALL THE THINGS THEY DON'T LIKE ABOUT HER is an acceptable way to treat a child then we do not have a different approach when it comes to child development, we have a different approach when it comes to being a human fucking being.

I Do Not Care what class rules she struggles with, that is abuse.

Hearing my daughter cry for the last few days as she recounts what she's feeling in that classroom... I can't explain what that feels like. When she was born, and I held her for the first time, I was Changed. I've tried to explain it so many times and the best I've got is. How the Grinch Stole Christmas. When his heart grew three sizes and it broke the little box? I felt that. I felt my heart growing inside me as a physical sensation so strong it was almost painful. It's beyond words.

The pain I feel for her now is beyond words in the same way. I am physically sick for her. She has been pouring her heart out to me. The phrases she uses:

I just curled up in a ball at my seat and was crying. Teacher may was well have written "Talk about Stupid (name)" on the whiteboard.

I'm worried I'll never be able to be happy at school again, and then maybe I'll never be able to be happy at all ever again.

Imagine if someone took a tiny baby, and they just put it in the trashcan. Teacher does that to me over and over.

Teacher only talks to me when I'm doing something wrong, I'm scared to go talk to her when I need something.

I'm a good kid! I know I am! Why can't Teacher see the angel in me?

I'm always crying at school and I hate it because they all think I'm a baby.

Teacher is always frowning at me. I hate my whole life right now, except my parents.

And she was singing the "I Wish I Wasn't Different" song from the Movies episode of Bluey. And she's got a fucking stress rash on her hand because she can't stop picking at herself.

SHE'S SIX FUCKING YEARS OLD.

I am astounded by the depth of her pain and I'm only feeling the echo of it in that piece of my heart she made.

This woman made my child feel that. To say I am incandescent with rage is barely scratching the surface.

I kept her out of school today (and gave her the best self-care a 6yo could ask for*) and feel massively guilty I haven't taken more action much sooner. She WILL NOT be made to feel this way one more goddamn minute. Tomorrow we talk to the principal and we will make them make this right.

* Last night she was telling me it felt like her heart used to be all pink and happy and now it's blue and has a frowny face and tears falling down, and then it broke in half and now this half is all the way down in my KNEE (I am raising a delightfully dramatic child).

So today, we had a Fix Daughter's Heart Day. I let her download a few cute but dumb apps on her tablet and she got to play them in her jammies during breakfast - that alone broke 3 boring routines that she finds tedious. We went to Build A Bear. Frankly, we went a little nuts at Build A Bear. We got junky mall food for lunch. We went to the little candy store that has "disappointing gummy BEARS but the best gummy WORMS in the whole world."

We stopped at the grocery store and got a little bit of junk food, a stuffed toy from the impulse aisle, she picked out a card for her dad for valentine's day, and we chose the stuff to make her favorite dinner, which is also the one she likes to help with - she pushes the switch on the Cuisinart to shred the cheese, it's adorable and slightly terrifying and she is drunk with power, giggling the entire time. She got downtime to craft and color and read while I cooked and helped her with words.

And the whole time, we talked. That was the best part. She talked to me, and I talked with her, good stuff and bad stuff and silly stuff and sweet stuff, and I swear we really Saw each other today.

I checked in with her about the color of her heart a bunch of times throughout the day. (Her answers were incredibly specific, btw.) Tonight at bedtime she said it was all the way pink again, and it was shaped like a cat and it was purring and making biscuits.

I am trying my ass off to be the mom I wish I'd had, the mom she deserves, the mom who protects her and uplifts her and cheers her on and comforts her and teaches her. This shit is HARD. This shit is WORTH IT, but this shit is hard.

#i always thought that whole mama bear thing was a stupid white lady trend #i guess i get it now #liwl.txt #also you need to watch Bluey it's such a genuinely sweet and loving show #wow i really just had a flashback to livejournal holy shit #thanks for reading #hi yes blogging is my therapy now

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jasontoddiefor · 3 years

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Title: soon you’ll aim up at the sky and I’ll watch you float away Summary: Anakin was by no means falling in any of his classes. No, the issue was that Anakin wasn’t as good as he wanted to be and Obi-Wan did not have the time to read up on Check’chualik’s theory of ‘four-dimensional mathematics within a suspended room of an aircraft’. Or, Obi-Wan doesn't do space math but his Padawan does. AN: New part of my light fix-it AU! Written for @thenegoteator.

There were no words to describe how proud Obi-Wan was of Anakin. His apprentice was growing in leaps and bounds, going from being at the bottom of his classes to rising to the very top within just a few months. His determination and ambition were Anakin’s greatest assets. He trained harder than anyone else Obi-Wan knew – besides himself, maybe, but Obi-Wan was also still in the process of switching fighting styles, so he felt like he deserved to be pushing himself to the edge.

Obi-Wan just also, kind of, hated the fact that Anakin’s final exams aligned so well with his own.

He didn’t mind it too much concerning Anakin’s language classes. Those were easy enough to handle. Anakin resented the various High Standard dialects of any given language and had chosen to study the many trader languages spread across the galaxy. His Ryl was better than Obi-Wan’s own, but he took that good-naturedly and let Anakin run circles around him, reciting Ryl chants. It was Anakin’s third language or so – Obi-Wan didn’t know in what order Anakin had learned which language, but Anakin didn’t seem to be too sure about it either.

He had just said that he used to speak it nearly daily on Tatooine and that had settled it. If Anakin didn’t change his language track, he would probably not end up doing many of the diplomacy missions Obi-Wan usually elected to take, but he didn’t mind that either. Anakin was more well suited for the open skies than pompous dining halls.

Anakin’s literature classes were a bit more of a disaster. He was not particularly fond of interpreting texts. Obi-Wan always enjoyed those lessons most, thinking that engaging in such an exchange with authors of the past was the highest form of evaluating the thoughts of an inaccessible period. Anakin preferred biting conversations with his Master or his friends, the kind of quick wit needed for verbal sparring. While some of Anakin’s replies were not the smoothest yet, the words being more appropriate in Huttese as the boy claimed, he was doing well. He was on his way to becoming a suitable companion for tedious negotiations that made somebody to trade snarky comments in the privacy of their rooms with a necessity.

Galactic history was also about as alright as it could be. Anakin was more interested in the Order’s history than that of the Republic, but those usually went hand in hand, so Anakin could get invested enough in a given topic.

Anakin was by no means falling in any of his classes.

No, the issue was that Anakin wasn’t as good as he wanted to be and Obi-Wan did not have the time to read up on Check’chualik’s theory of ‘four-dimensional mathematics within a suspended room of an aircraft’.

Anakin had said that sentence and a bunch of other very important sounding words while biting his lips in frustration, looking like he was going to start crying in anger any second. Anakin hardly cried, his eyes not even hazing over. Obi-Wan had seen him shed tears maybe once or twice since Anakin had become his apprentice. Anakin called tears a waste and while that was certainly not a mentality Obi-Wan wanted Anakin to keep, he hadn’t quite had the chance yet to address that topic in a meaningful way.

So, instead, he was looking at Anakin’s math paper, sighing.

It really wasn’t like Obi-Wan was going to get any of this. He knew he wouldn’t because he had never taken the elective Theoretical Mathematics of Hyperspace Travel. Obi-Wan took all the courses necessary to get his piloting license and not invested any extra hours into it, especially not within his mathematics track.

Obi-Wan also knew that these kinds of electives were more for senior Padawans and not a pre-teen, but Anakin was also intensely more familiar with ships and droids than most Padawans. Obi-Wan had already given up on attempting to make any sense of Anakin’s level of knowledge when it was all over the place.

Rubbing his eyes, Obi-Wan reached for his tea, enjoying the sweet taste of it. One glance at the chrono told him that Anakin would be back from classes soon. Obi-Wan had meant to read over his paper as a distraction from his own, but, evidently, that hadn’t turned out.

Neither Anakin’s theoretical maths paper nor Obi-Wan’s thesis on the inhumane implications of the Yavin code in light of the end of the New Sith Wars was going to get written or corrected this afternoon.

Obi-Wan felt just a little like dropping his head on the table and taking the day off. Though, perhaps, that really wasn’t such a bad idea. A break from this would maybe clear his head and Anakin…

Anakin would not be happy. He would work himself up because of his frustrations and then Obi-Wan would have to deal with a Padawan too stressed to calm down, which, depending on how his day had gone, would not end so well.

Obi-Wan deliberated whether he should just decide for the both of them that they’d take the day off, but eventually decided against it. Anakin reacted better to all situations if he was given a choice. Knowing that Anakin would be home in ten minutes, Obi-Wan cleared up their living room table and got lunch out of the oven. He had felt like baking today – okay, no, that was a bold-faced lie. He just needed another distraction from his paper and cooking had seemed like a good enough choice – and not like eating in the mess hall.

By the time he had laid the table, the door to their rooms opened and Anakin rushed inside, still full of energy after a morning filled with lessons.

“Obi-Waaaaan, I’m hungry. This smells nice, what’s for lunch?”

Anakin threw his arms around Obi-Wan’s middle, becoming liquid and relying on Obi-Wan to hold him up from beneath his arms.

“I made lasagna,” Obi-Wan said and carried Anakin over to his chair. “Yes, with that cheese you like.”

Anakin’s face lit up and he fist-bumped the air. “Yes!”

Dinner was a loud affair, something Obi-Wan had yet to get used to. Eating with Qui-Gon was always silent while the snack pauses were used for heated debates. Anakin worked exactly the other way round. He wasn’t one for eating quietly or slowly. He told Obi-Wan about his classes, what they had gotten up to, and, of course, the topic of his paper came up.

“Have you finished looking through it?” Anakin asked with big eyes.

Here it was, the moment of truth.

“No,” Obi-Wan replied honestly. “I tried to, but the topic of your paper is nothing I’m really informed on. I checked your grammar but not your calculations.”

“Oh.” Anakin’s face immediately fell. “But I need this paper to be right and I can’t quite figure it out and I don’t want to fail!”

Anakin’s outbursts, when expected, were a lot easier to handle.

“I know,” Obi-Wan said, “which is why I thought of two things. One.” He held up his index finger. “The two of us need a break from these papers. I know yours is due soon, but you are smart and one day of not working on it will do you good, so I’d suggest taking the day off. Two, I’m pretty sure there’s a Jedi Master, who can look over this and help you out, coming home tomorrow.”

“Oh?” Anakin blinked. “Who?”

“Master Plo Koon. He’s an excellent pilot and I think you would have a lot of fun talking to him. He’s a Kel Dor.”

“Oh, I know him!” Anakin interrupted, looking a little star-struck.

Obi-Wan hadn’t expected that reaction. “You do?”

“Yeah! He’s in the crèche lots because he brought a Youngling there around the same time I arrived at the temple. Her name’s Ahsoka. She’s gonna be badass someday.”

Anakin enjoyed spending time in the crèche and going by the way he talked, Obi-Wan assumed that little Ahsoka was one of the more talkative kids there with no hesitation about challenging Anakin to a fight. Obi-Wan smiled. “And you know that how?”

“She bit me once,” Anakin replied and nodded as if that explained everything.

He then swallowed the last piece of his meal, not elaborating any further.

This was… nice. Obi-wan had honestly expected this conversation to be more chaotic. Perhaps that said more about his own mental state than it said anything about Anakin’s.

“And what are we gonna do today then?” Anakin asked. “If we’re not working on papers.”

“Hmm.” Obi-Wan made a show out of pondering when he had already decided to let Anakin pick a while ago. “Well, where do you want to go?”

There was only one possible reply to that answer.

“Can we go to the markets again?” Anakin said immediately. “We’re running out of sunbeetles and we can visit Dak’lana and maybe get you a new hairpin too?”

Obi-Wan had to smile at Anakin’s genuine excitement. Few things were as comforting as seeing your Padawan happy.

Except, maybe, finishing your thesis.

“That is a wonderful idea,” Obi-Wan told him and watched happily as Anakin ran off to get everything ready for their trip.

Time to wash up and spend money on food and jewelry.

#star wars #anakin skywalker #obi wan kenobi #jedi #fanfic

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asleepinawell · 3 years

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I really want to play Nier but I've never played a game where it seems sort of expected that you would replay and get all the endings! Is that tedious at all? I would just Google how it works, but I'm afraid to get spoilers!

Great question! haha. Uh, yes and no. There's two games (sort of). Nier Replicant ver.1.22474487139, which just came out and is a remake/update of the original ps3 Nier game (the Japanese version of the original...it's complicated), and Nier Automata, the sort of sequel. Replicant comes first in terms of story.

Nier Replicant, the remake, got a really nice overhaul, but the core game is still the same as the original 2010 game and that includes a lot of repetitive bullshit and fetch quests that were more common in games at the time. You also have to replay the second half of the game at least 3 times (3 and a little more) to get all the endings. The good news there is that you don't have to redo any of the annoying side quests and your inventory/levels/weapons all stay intact. And while the replays are essentially the same game, you get more information in the form of cutscenes and other perspectives that change your understanding of the story and your actions. If you only played route A you would miss the whole point of the story.

By the third time through though, yeah, it starts to feel a little repetitive, but you can also speed through it in a few hours at that point (route C/D has a few new additions but almost none). There's five endings total. For the fourth ending you only have to replay the very last stretch of the game. The last ending, which is brand new and added in this new version, is a little different and does involve some annoying replaying but is worth it in the end.

Nier Automata also has five routes/endings (it actually has 26 endings but it only has 5 real ones...the rest are jokes), and has a similar feature where you keep all side quest progress, levels, etc between routes. And the side quests aren't mindless and annoying like in replicant. You'll play a large section of the game twice, and I think the route B playthrough is probably tough for some people to get through for a bunch of reasons but it is absolutely worth it. Routes C and D do not involve replaying the same content. And route E is something else completely and one of the coolest video game experiences I've ever had.

So basically, yes, replicant is a bit repetitive but I feel like it's not repetitive enough to make it not worth it and the added content in route b is very important. Automata has one repetitive route which can be a chore for some people but the game is so damn good that it's not really an issue for me.

My friend who got me into Automata fielded a question recently about which to play first. My only addition to that is that if you do play Replicant first, just know that you will not have to deal with all those annoying quests in Automata after. Automata was a better game in terms of game mechanics even if I like the characters from Replicant better. They're both very cool games.

Also! I would actually recommend googling for a spoiler free ending guide for Replicant at least (this one looks good), but don't read it until after you finish route B. It'll help point you in the right direction to get everything in order for the last couple routes which is very helpful. There might be something similar for Automata but I can't remember if it was needed.

Oh yeah, and one more thing. Both games have an easy mode that you can change to whenever you want which has an auto combat feature that will fight for you. You're not penalized in any way for using it (still get trophies). So if you want to speed things up or don't want to redo a fight or you get stuck, that's always an option. That type of easy mode design is a really nice accessibility feature that I wish more games had.

#mp #asks #one day I will answer something concisely and not as a giant ramble #but today is not that day

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kingborb · 3 years

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Spill the tea bestie :0 I'm pretty curious. Deadass I'm so glad, literally EVERYONE I know loves nick and/or dogmeat ONLY and it's so tedious and stale to me. It also makes talking about fallout 4 so boring bc they haven't traveled with anyone else but Nick and dogmeat 😫

Yeah, that's a huge problem and I'm having it too, especially when the tier S companions for me are Preston, X6, Hancock and Gage XD Ok then, I think I can adress few things, why not c: It will be the longest post ever, cause I will try to write everything I can about this topic (cause it bothers me so much). You don't have to read my rumbles of course, I will make tl;dr version somewhere at the end just in case you get bored, my friendly anon <3

Oh and if you want to talk about any companion (I've done everyone except Dance), you can hit me on dms or asks, feel free to do whatever suits you! :3

So I have a few problems with Nick, some of them might not be that serious or game changing, others were huge when I encountered them for the first time. Let's spill some tea on one of the most beloved characters in this game!

1) People see Nick as an empathic person who wants to help people, makes rational, unbiased decisions, and has a good reason to be against the Institute. When I can agree with some of those things, this image of him was ruined for me in the Acadia. Okay, okay, I understand that DiMA actually murdered Avery and it wasn't a good choice. However, it bothers me that Nick sees nothing against forcing DiMA to confess to people from Far Harbor about what he had done in the past (and Nick actually likes this choice!). It is pretty obvious that he would die there and every other synth on the island would share the same fate if not now, then probably in the nearest future. And even if Aleen kills 'only' DiMA (because of the speech check with you) Acadia would fall anyway. Why? Tell me - who would be their next lider? Maybe the ex-courser whose mission is bringing back synths to the safe place because DiMA said it's the right thing to do? Or maybe 'dearest Faraday', depressed after the fact that some random wastelander came to the Acadia and convinced his loved one to literally commit suicide? The only safe place for synths who don't want their minds to be wiped by the Railroad or the Institute would be gone forever and for Nick, our 2nd gen hero, it is the right thing to do. Great. Fantastic. I love his logic.

2) Nick sees DiMA only as a murderer, even though he kills with you so many people on everyday basis... I know it's not the same. But c'mon! DiMA killed once because he knew his people were in danger. It was them or Far Harbor, and obviously he chose the Acadia. What a surprise. I wonder what Nick would do in that situation... I know I'm a bit biased with some of my opinions here, but I love so much the concept of the Acadia and 2nd gen gay nearly-pacifist Plato that DiMA is. Nick doesn't understand that the whole Acadia is in constant danger because of some bigotry in Far Harbor and Children of Atom being, well... Children of Atom. And he does nothing when people from Far Harbor murder not only DiMA but the entirety of Acadia - a group of innocent synths. Their lives apperently mean less for Nick than hiding one bad thing done in the past...

3) So now we can begin the next chapter which is the Railroad. Nick loves their every move, of course he does... I don't want to talk about them too much, but here I can mention their fantastic standards, when it comes to synths. They're killing the 1st gen and the 2nd gen, they're saving the 3rd gen... and what about the coursers? Desdemona is calling them per 'IT'. Fucking hypocrisy hits hard on that one. I know they're enemies but man... Why are you objectifying them? Why are you assuming they don't have personalities only because they're fucking brainwashed and controlled as hell? The existence of Chase and Harkness shows that coursers can resist too, so... Yeah I have a general problem with the Railroad and their double standards, but this fact is killing me every time. And about Nicky, oh... I'm sorry man, but they will shoot you on the side, when you will take off your clothes and appear as every other 1st and 2nd gen.

4) So here's the another thing, which is the atmosphere around him and a character building. People seem to like Nick because he's a unique synth (that's actually a great point) and because of the noir/detective vibe around him (as with Deacon/Railorad and their secret agents vibe - I get that too). I know, I know it's pretty fun to have the 2nd gen experimental synth as a companion who has memories of the detective from the past with... A DEAD FIANCÉE. Yup. Another one. That's why I don't like Deacon's and Maccready's stories too (and the main plot of fo4, especially when I want to play as a character without a wife and a fucking kid...). I like his storyline, don't get me wrong. However I think some companions in fo4 are well-written as well, maybe even better than Nick (I like in them the lack of dead wifes!). The last standing Minutemen, depressed and traumatised, who is such a sweetheart anyway. A killing machine which turns out to be real human being with fears, emotions and insecurities. An asshole who becomes a raider because he didn't want to suffer the same pain as his parents did, and has trust issues because of his past. A lonely, depressed drug addict who wants to see good in people but was rejected by his own brother only because he has became a ghoul. Again, don't get me wrong - Nick's story is really interesting and tragic as hell. His problems with his identity, personality splited between the prewar detective and the 2nd gen synth... It's all fascinating, however I will not forgive the developers recycling over and over again the same fucking cishet tragic story with dead wife/fiancée/whatever. It gets boring and repetitive after the main plot honestly.

5) WHERE THE HELL DID KELLOGG GO AFTER CORRUPTING NICK'S MIND ONCE?! TODD. WHY. It would have been much more interesting than another dead loved one plot. Todd, you lazy ass. He had offered so many, and he gave nothing back... As he always does.

6) The last one, I promise... Nick's reaction after siding with the Institute bothers me so much (the same deal with Piper). I. Am. The. Director. Of. The. Fucking. Thing. And it means I can do whatever I want, cause the director has a pretty authoritarian power there. So I can change everything, including the way they treat synths, accept or deny their experiments, say goodbye to some nasty scientists... The Institute route is not ideal in any way, however I see it as the only reasonable path in this game, even from the lore perspective. The Brotherhood is just a bunch of shitheads in the blimp, and I've said enough here about the Railroad earlier. The Minutemen are great but I would like to have an option to connect their morals with the Institute's resources and wabam - you've got the true happy ending in fo4. I understand why Nick is pissed, however if you are with him on the highest level of the relationship, he knows that you are an emphatic person who wants to make Commonwealth a better place for everyone including synths, ghouls, etc. It would be logical for him to not see you as a traitor. But well, I guess I'm wrong. Whatever, Nicky, whatever...

So here's the lazy version:

1)/2) Nick likes convincing DiMA to tell everyone in Far Harbor that he killed Avery. Nicky does nothing when people from Far Harbor kill innocent synths.

3) The Railroad and their double standards, when it comes to synths, especially coursers, but 1st and 2nd gens too. Nick loves it when you're helping the Railroad, even though they would kill him on a spot if he forgot to wear his clothes, so...

4) Another companion with dead wife/fiancée needs your help.

5) Kellogg in Nicky's mind. Missed opportunity for a good plot... What a shame, Todd.

6) Siding with the Institute and Nick's reaction to that, even when you're at the maximum level of the relationship with him.

#im sorry it is sooo looong but i couldn't resist myself #you dont have to read it of course #it was just my shitting on Nick XDD #fallout 4 #nick valentine #and why i dont like the most beloved character #welp

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lostinfantasyworlds · 3 years

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Don’t mind me while I get super emotional for a minute, but I just wanted to thank the Inuyasha/Inukag fandom for being the best ❤️

I haven’t been this involved in a fandom for years, and it has really been helping this year feel a little less shitty. I, like most other people out there, have been struggling with my mental health a lot this year. Anxiety, depression, not taking care of myself, etc.

Discovering Inuyasha and the fandom here on Tumblr has been a huge comfort to me, and making things for the fandom has given me an outlet that actually makes me happy. My full time job, despite being in a creative field, is really tedious and boring and is always the same, which does not mix well with my personality. I get no creative stimulation from it, and no validation or room to grow. Making art, gifs, fics, etc for the Inuyasha fandom has been SO much more gratifying and has given me an outlet for my creative drive that my job doesn’t give me. It’s pretty much given me life again.

So I wanted to thank everyone from the bottom of my heart for being so welcoming and accepting me into the fandom even though I only just watched Inuyasha for the first time a few months ago. I don’t know if I’ve ever shipped a couple as hard as I ship Inukag. I love drowning in feels with you all, and reading all of your theories and meta.

And, most importantly, the creators in this fandom are AMAZING. I am constantly in awe of all the beautiful fan art and the incredible fic writers. I have never read so much fanfic as I have in the last couple months, and I. Love. It.

You have all inspired me to actually post my own work, which I’ve never done in another fandom before (besides gifs and fanvids). I’ve written short rough drafts of fics down in my phone, but I never thought I was good enough to publish anything. The first fic I’ve ever published for any fandom is Forever Changed, and the response to it made my heart so happy. I literally teared up from some of the comments. The support means so much to me. I even finally made accounts/published it on AO3 and ff.net the other day. And it’s all thanks to the inspiration I’ve gotten from reading so much amazing fic, and seeing the encouragement and support you all have for each other!

So thank you thank you thank you! I have so much love for you guys! And I’m so glad that I got into Inuyasha before Yashahime premiered so that I can experience suffering watching it with you all!!

Right now, I’m working on a bunch of stuff that I’m really excited about and can’t wait to show you guys. I’m currently drawing a hyperrealistic Inuyasha (I’ve always been obsessed with wondering what he would look like in real life), and then I’ll do one for Kagome, and then hopefully some of the two of them together! Here’s a WIP preview of part of it - it’s nowhere near done, and I just started on the hair so it's just a placeholder for what it will actually look like.

Also, I’ve been working on an AMV for months now. I’ll finish it eventually haha, but I am really really excited about it. It’s using the song Can You Hold Me by NF and I have been obsessed with how well that song fits with angsty Inukag. It’s also really dramatic and intense, so it’s perfect for mixing emotion with action. I can’t wait to share, even though I have no idea when I’ll get around to finishing it🤣

Lastly, I have a bunch of one shots/fic ideas written down in my phone/on Google Docs. I can’t wait to practice writing more and work on getting some of them published.

Anyways, sorry for this long rambling mess, but I just wanted to say how much I appreciate you guys, and thank you again for making me feel so welcome, following me, liking stuff I’ve made, etc. You’re all amazing! ❤️

#inukag #inuyasha #wip #personal #emotional rambling

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mindmeltonabun-blog · 4 years

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Tale of The Nine Tailed: Analysis and Theories

First and foremost, I would like to give my sincerest praise to the cast and crew of Tale of The Nine Tailed ! It is simply a wonderful and very thought provoking show! I strongly recommend it to everyone!

Now, I’m going to forewarn you all that this post will be very LONG, but hey you might learn a thing or two and be able to draw your own theories and/or conclusions after reading this post! I had previously posted some of these connections/theories on my Twitter, but I figure hey why not post them on Tumblr too !

What Is An Imugi/Imoogi? What Is It’s Goal?

In Korean folklore, Imoogis are lesser dragons that look like big snakes or kind of like a basilisk from Harry Potter.

One of an Imugi/Imoogi’s main goal is obtain a “Yeouiju” or a celestial orb which allows it to become full fledged celestial dragons which can rule the skies. In the context of TOTNT, there is such a type of “Yeouiju” in the form of Lee Yeon’s fox bead. Therefore, I believe that the ultimate goal of the Imugi/Imoogi is get Lee Yeon’s fox bead.

Side note, I kind of think that the Imoogi not only wants to rule the skies, but the ground too. I wouldn't be surprised if he sought to do so by raising an army of zombies (maybe thats who Lee Yeon was seen fighting in the intro credits) !

Why be content with just ruling the skies when you can rule the entire world? Additionally, he could have further ambitions to not only rule the world, but to also rule all realms like the heavens and the Underworld.

The Imoogi is very strategic into getting what he wants. By strategic I mean that he likes to use people as leverage or use their own weaknesses against them.

Therefore, I believe what happened originally during Ah Eum’s time is that the Imoogi had possessed her body in order to get Lee Yoon to hand over his fox bead. The Imoogi knew how much Lee Yoon had loved Ah Eum and would be willing to do anything for her.

However like Voldemort, the Imoogi did not anticipate the power of love and sacrifice. Ah Eum had temporarily gained control of her body long enough to do either two things: ask Lee Yeon to kill her or run into Lee Yeon’s sword thereby killing herself. In either cases, she fulfilled her promise to Lee Yoon which was that she would always protect him.

Now jumping back to the present time, we know that original target of the Imoogi’s plan was Ji Ah. Why? Because his lame self wanted to do what he did in the past and use her again to get Lee Yeon to hand over the fox bead. However, this time around, Ji Ah had Lee Yeon’s fox bead inside of her which offered protection from full possession by the Imoogi. So then the Imoogi’s minion (tv station president) took the next best thing which was Ji Ah’s parents to be used as leverage at a later time so that Ji Ah would hand over the fox bead.

However, things have now changed because Ji A gave away the fox bead to the fortune teller to save Lee Yeon. Now I have mixed feelings about this situation. On one side, I find it romantic that she’s willing to give up anything to save Lee Yeon. On the other side of it, I’m like girl why are you so stupid?! Lee Yeon literally gave up his mountain title in order to give Ah Eum/Ji Ah that fox bead. It’s almost like Lee Yeon’s actions were met in vain. Plus, when Ji Ah said she doesn’t believe in destiny or that sort of stuff, it also got me riled up because it was a contradiction to the whole premise of her character in the first place. From the get go, the writer wrote that Ji Ah believes in the supernatural and mystical. So then why wouldn't she believe in fate and destiny?

Anyways back to more analysis. Without the protective effects of the fox bead, Ji Ah can once again be possessed by the Imoogi.

What the fox bead had done for Ji Ah was that it protected Ji Ah from the effects of the Imoogi piece aka horcrux that was inside of her. The notion that the bead had offered protective effects can be seen when Lee Yeon first gave it to her where a protective shield was erected and this was again seen in ep4 when Ji Ah cried. Also, it was confirmed when Sato said how Lee Yeon’s fox bead was meant to protect all beings, but instead Lee Yeon chose to use it to protect only one person.

The Fortune Teller’s Message

Something of particular interest is what the fortune teller told Ji Ah about the bead. He told her that even without the fox bead or moon, her life is still “blessed”. I think what the fortune teller meant by this is that even without the protective effects of the bead, her life is still “blessed” because she will always have Lee Yeon by her side to protect her.

What I think will happen next is that Lee Yeon will go back to the fortune teller to try and get his bead back. Meaning Ji Ah will probably confess to Lee Yeon later on just what exactly she gave up in order to get him back. And again the fortune teller will ask for something precious to Lee Yeon. There are a few things that are precious to Lee Yeon such as Ji Ah, Lee Rang, and Lee Yeon’s immortality. Now we know that Lee Yeon would never give up Ji Ah, so then this would bring about other two things into play: Lee Rang and Lee Yeon’s immortality. I think its more of a poetic justice if Lee Yeon trades Lee Rang in. However, I could also see Lee Yeon trading in his immortality since his dream has always been to become human. Who knows though!

Only One Will Live: Imoogi Vs Ji Ah and Lee Yeon vs Ji Ah

In Harry Potter, there was a prophecy that “for neither can live, while the other survives”. This same message is conveyed when it comes to the Imoogi & Ji Ah and Lee Yeon & Ji Ah.

We saw what had happened the first go around when the Imoogi had possessed Ah Eum. In the end, Ah Eum chose to sacrificed herself so that both the Imoogi and the piece of him inside of her would die. Thereby, she prevented the Imoogi from using her to get Lee Yeon’s fox bead. Now presently, the same situation is basically happening again. However, if Harry Potter managed to kill the piece of Voldemort in him and still survive then Ji Ah can essentially do the same. So, how you might ask? I think the solution greatly lies in getting the fox bead back in her. If Ji Ah can temporarily die in order to get rid of the Imoogi piece inside of her, then she can be revived by the protective qualities of the fox bead.

Even if Ji Ah survives against the Imoogi, it might be at the cost of losing Lee Yeon. The fortune teller even told our couple this, “If you two keep hanging out, one of you will die”. This same message is again heard in ep 7 preview when Taluipa’s husband tells Lee Yeon, “You or the girl. One must die in the end.” So can there be a situation where the Imoogi is dead and both Ji Ah and Lee Yeon are alive? Yes and it comes in the form of the Lee Rang factor.

The Lee Rang Factor

We all know that our little puppy, Lee Rang, may put up the facade that he hates his brother, but in reality, Lee Rang loves his brother a lot.

There was a clue dropped in ep.4 that hints in the end Lee Rang will be the one that saves both Lee Yeon and Ji Ah.

The hint was in Taluipa’s hand, the movie “A Better Tomorrow”. Briefly, the movie is about two brothers, Ho and Kit, who love each other a lot. However over the years, they began to develop great animosity and resentment towards each other mainly due to their differences in beliefs and professions. Ho was a criminal while Kit was an upstanding police officer. Eventually, Ho does see the error of his ways and seeks to atone for them. In the end, the two brother reconcile and Ho decides to join his brother Kit on a path of righteousness. Similar to Ho, I think Lee Rang will do the same. Lee Rang will atone for his mistakes and thus sacrifice himself to save Lee Yeon and Ji Ah.

What is Ji Ah?

Seems like everyone these days has been wondering what exactly Ji Ah is. Most people seem to think that she is part Imoogi. However, there has been a bunch of clues in the episodes that answers this question.

I believe Ah Eum/Ji Ah is Princess Bari, the first shaman goddess from Korean mythology.

Princess Bari was nicknamed the “Abandoned Princess” because she was the last and 7th daughter of a King who had no sons. Due to her gender, she did not receive any attention from her parents and was thus abandoned.

Eventually, her parents’ lives became endangered and in order to save them she had to travel to the Underworld to get the elixir of life. Such a tedious journey showed her deep commitment to the virtue of “filial piety” or one’s love and respect for one’s parents. She became a role model for many women during this time because she was willing to sacrifice herself for the very parents who had abandoned her.

As a reward for her strong adherence to filial piety, the Gods made her the first shaman goddess who’s job was to help and guide spirits.

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minniewoos · 4 years

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Amortentia ➣ Hwang Hyunjin Pt.1

Genre: hogwarts au, slytherin!Hyunjin, fluff, angst, bestfriend!Seungmin

Pairing: hyunjin x reader

Word Count: 12,932

Summary: Hyunjin was conceived under the effects of a love potion, making it impossible for him to experience love. But you try your hardest anyway. And you kinda succeed.

part 1➣part 2 ➣part 3

"And the final curious potion we will be introducing today, last but not least, is Amortentia." Your potions professor announced. Professor Lee always had a bounce in his step and a delighted grin whenever he taught. Anyone who saw him could tell that potions were his passion. And today's lesson was no different; the smile on his pudgy face was more full than usual today. And you weren't sure why. But he continued dutifully with his teachings.

"I'm sure most of you already know what this little concoction is, it's quite famous amongst kids your age." He chipped, but then held his pointer finger up and towards the small group of students in front of him. He warned, "But don't even think about using it. This potion is considered highly dangerous and very powerful. It does not create genuine love, that is impossible to achieve by means of magic. Just an intense obsession. Understand?"

You heard a few peers around you sigh in disappointment. And you weren't very surprised since you always heard gossip through the grapevine. Stories about your classmates and their romantic struggles. And like your professor said, this potion was very popular. Everyone wants easy love, a perfect romance. You even thought about using it once or twice when you were younger; probably in year two or three. You shake your head at yourself, those days of pining after that certain person were behind you. At least, the childish thoughts of using magic to do that.

"Of course, I'm sure most of you are wise enough not to do that. I expect great things from you bunch, this is an advanced potion class. I see greatness in each one of you." Your professor smiled once again as his eyes landed on every one of you and your classmates. It was a mixed class as well; it had some students from each house attending it. Which was a change from the usual one or two houses per class, but you like it, you didn't interact as much with the other houses as you would've liked to.

"Would anyone like to tell me what they know about Amortentia before we begin?" Professor Lee let the question hang in the air, receiving only silence. His smile dropped for a moment, but it was up once more when he spotted somebody raised their hand. He nodded and pointed towards the owner of the raised hand, "Yes, Seungmin, go ahead."

“It’s complicated to brew, and it makes the person it’s used on have an extreme obsession.” Seungmin said, very interested in today’s lesson, “The smells also different for everybody; it smells like the three things people love the most.”

“That is correct! Five points for Ravenclaw.” Your professor chirped happily. “At the end of class, if anyone wishes, they may take a whiff of Amortentia if they’re curious about the smell.”

You smiled as well, and discreetly fist-bumped Seungmin for the extra points for your house. In your mind, he was always a good kid, if not a little odd sometimes. For the rest of the class, your professor spoke animatedly about Amortentia and went over its painful brewing procedure. You listened, well, you tried to. Looking to the brewing procedure is tedious and quite a bore, especially for such a long and precise potion like Amortentia. So, your thoughts wandered a bit, but you got the gist of what you needed to know about Amortentia. And if you had questions, the textbook was there for a reason. Instead, you were curious about what Amortentia smelled like for you; perhaps it would be your favorite coffee or tea, or maybe a particular food. What did Seungmin smell? Or the professor? You scanned the room, curious as to what the others would smell in the Amortentia.

There were pretty rowdy Gryffindors like Han Jisung or Shin Ryujin. But there was a certain Slytherin you were especially curious about. Eyes trained on Hwang Hyunjin, you concentrated as you tried to think. Your eyebrows scrunched together as you thought about what he would even smell, he was unpredictable, really. Nobody was really close to the aloof Slytherin, but he got along really well with everyone. He wasn’t cruel or stuck up despite the Slytherin stereotype, but he wasn’t friendly either. Hyunjin never stuck to people that well, it was as if he wasn't interested enough to care. On the other hand, people stuck to Hyunjin like glue; you weren't exactly sure why. So it confused you, why care so much about a guy who doesn't do the same? Perhaps it was because of his charm, the few times you spoke to him were very pleasant; it helped that he was a solid ten in looks. Nonetheless, there was something off about him that you couldn't figure out. Hyunjin was indeed a mystery.

“Hey, pay attention.” Seungmin jabbed at your side, effectively derailing your train of thought. “If we’re gonna be partners again, it’s not going to be like last time.”

You rolled your eyes, “Come on Minnie, it wasn’t that bad. Okay?”

He frowned, “Says you, the potion didn’t blow up right in your eyes.”

“Sorry?” You shrugged with a shy smile, feeling a little guilty about the potion incident. Seungmin went blind for a whole hour.

“You better be.” Seungmin turned his focus back into taking his notes. How diligent.

You pouted and leaned onto the desk, your chin resting in the palm of your hand. You muttered sourly, “That sounds like a threat.”

“That’s because it is.”

The class period reached its end quickly, and your mood was instantly lifted. While you enjoy the advanced potions class, it has a knack for putting you to sleep. You were a pretty lazy Ravenclaw.

“Remember class, I will offer you extra credit for this lesson! If you’re interested just sign this parchment before you leave the room, this is your last day to do this before I begin planning the extra credit.” Your professor reminded everyone one last time before dismissing the class.

The small class began to file out of the room, most of them gathering around the table with the vials of potions lined upon them. All the potions the professor went over today were interesting and very advanced. It was predictable which one people flocked towards first. Amortentia.

Chatter filled the air as you heard excited quips of what they smelled; others who were less interested simply left the room.

Seungmin was one of those people about to leave the room, completely ignoring the potions. But you clutched his arm and yanked him towards the table. He yelped in surprise before giving you an ugly look.

"Don't act like you aren’t curious about what you smell." You crossed your arms, standing in front of the table. The small crowd already began dispersing.

"I will act like it because I don’t." Seungmin sighed, then began to leave the room once more. "I'll meet you outside after you're finished."

Lips pursed in a frown, what a downer. You weren't sure what his problem was today, his mood seemed to drop mid-lesson. But ignoring Seungmin’s attitude, you faced the little vial of Amortentia. Little spiraling wisps rose from the vial, dissipating by the time it reached the height of your eyes. Already a little excited, you leaned down and took a whiff.

You smelled everything right away, each scent from the potion was strong and distinct. The corners of your lips tipped up.

Old books, and you knew exactly why. The Ravenclaw common room was absolutely filled with ancient books from top to bottom, and it showed. Bookcases were full of leather-bound books and rolled-up scrolls. The scent was faint but immediately noticeable, old and musty, but endearing to you. Ravenclaw pride bubbled up in your chest.

Then there was a sort of citrusy smell, it was oranges. Other than the fact that they smell good, they were always in season for you. Ever since the first day you sat down at the Ravenclaw table and the feast appeared in front of you, you adored Hogwarts’ oranges. It was the first thing you tried out of the feast, and the taste stuck with you. You’ll eat one whenever you have the chance.

Jasmine. The last scent was jasmine, and while you vividly recognize the smell, you were confused as to why you smelled it. There were no prominent memories associated with jasmine other than it just smelling very good. And despite your confusion around it, it was easily the most potent smell among the three. You stared intensely at the vial, trying to focus on the jasmine scent; it was possible a memory or feeling would come to you. But alas, you couldn’t quite put your finger on it.

Deciding to give up, you took a step away and just admired the potion for a moment. It was lovely, a light blue color with a sleek sheen to it and spiraling steam. No one would be able to tell what powerful properties it would have. You sigh before you noticed most others have left the class already to carry on their schedule. All except for one.

You were surprised to see Hyunjin standing in front of you on the opposite side of the table. He was glaring down at the potion, a confused and annoyed expression creased his face. Frowning, you wondered what he smelled to possibly cause such an irate reaction from the boy. Unsure of whether it was appropriate to ask, you just stared at Hyunjin’s concentrated expression. But as usual, curiosity got the better of you and decided you wanted to know why he seemed so annoyed. Hesitantly, you got his attention and waved a hand.

“Hey Hyunjin, what do you smell?” You leaned over to match his line of sight, with an awkward little smile to seem friendly. You gulped nervously after Hyunjin’s irritated gaze flicked to look you directly in your eyes.

“What do you smell?” He responded to your question with a question. You frowned but figured you would answer anyway.

“Hm...it was old books, oranges, and jasmine. Pretty pleasant if you ask me.” Shifting your weight, you tilted your head before questioning him again. “So, how about you?”

“Nothing.” His lips pursed with his eyebrows were scrunched, “I don’t smell anything.”

The first thought that came to you was simply that that wasn’t possible. But you couldn’t question him or dwell on the idea any longer. Hyunjin ended the small talk when he sharply snatched his textbook off the desk and left the room, leaving you to feel bad you even asked.

Feeling down since you’ve somehow insulted two people within the span of five minutes, you figure it’s your time to go. A heavy sigh and a moment later you headed towards the exit.

“Miss y/n, please don’t feel bad about that. It’s good to be curious. Some people just have a complicated relationship with this kind of stuff.” Professor Lee consoled you, he was packing his notes and materials up from his desk. His smile was sympathetic.

You smiled and shrugged, “I just don’t think he’s a very open person, sir.”

“Well, Miss y/n, that just makes their journey all the more satisfying.”

“The journey?”

“Getting to know somebody is an adventure all on its own. I’m sure you’ll discover this.” Professor Lee began walking out from behind his desk, parchment in hand. “Somebody like him specifically, Hyunjin, would be a tough but fascinating journey.”

“You’re talking about people like they’re stories, sir.”

“Well, everyone has their own story, for some people, it just takes some digging. I know you’re an inquisitive person, you have a thirst for knowledge."

"Thank you, your enthusiasm when you teach really does help." You smile gratefully, then paused as something came to mind. "Actually, where’s that parchment for the extra credit? I'd like to do it; the lessons have been getting a little hard to understand."

"Oh, of course! It's right here." He held out the parchment in his hand and gave you a quill. "Go right ahead dear, you'll be given a partner to complete this outside of class."

"Okay, thanks sir, I'll see you later." You sign and gather your things, leaving the classroom in a better mood than you would have otherwise. You nearly forget Seungmin was outside waiting for you, so you sent him an apologetic look.

"Took you long enough, I was about to go in and check if you died," Seungmin commented, propped on the ledge jutting out from the sculptured stone walls. He looked uncomfortable.

"Wow, you really did wait for me, I'm flattered." You smiled, pleasantly surprised despite the frown set on Seungmin.

"Yeah, I did, now hurry up before we're late for charms class." He began to walk ahead of you while you trailed behind him, a couple steps quicker to try to catch up. "What did you smell anyway?"

"Hmm, old books, citrus, and jasmine. All quite nice if you ask me."

Seungmin hummed in response, slowing his pace for you; he seemed content. The smug little smirk on your face showed your sense of satisfaction. Seungmin could never stay mean to you, it didn’t matter what; you two have been best friends since the first year. He got grumpy sometimes, but it never lasted long when it came to you. You nudged him with your elbow, catching him on the side; then, you looked up at him to show off your smug little grin. In return, he rolled his eyes and nudged you back, but you peaked at the little smile he attempted to hold back.

The next morning was breakfast time, and the only way to describe your journey to the Great Hall was a hobble. Or maybe a shuffle or stagger. And it was a long ways away from the Ravenclaw tower down to the Great Hall. As a result, you were really struggling to move your tired limbs. Perhaps you'll take a quick nap during breakfast, or sleep during Ms. Hong's charm class. Either way, you were not awake, and it showed. Badly.

Unfortunately, you’ve developed an awful habit of not sleeping when you’re supposed to, and it’s resulted in your morning zombie-ness. And general crankiness if you were going to be honest. All that nagging Seungmin threw at you didn’t help either, he always nagged at you to sleep early or to eat right. It was easy for him to say though, he was one of the early birds in this school.

And as soon as you took your seat at the Ravenclaw table, you knew the look Seungmin was putting your way. He really just reminded you of your mother sometimes. So, before he could nag you, you nagged yourself. You hitch your voice into a slightly nasally tone and scrunch your nose mockingly. “Y/n you need to sleep earlier, study before 10pm, don’t rely on caffeine, stop procrastinating you lazy ass.”

“I don’t sound like that!"

“Shhh, yea, you do, don’t pretend you don’t know. Don’t be so loud in the mornings, please.” You grumble and lay your head on the table after placing a muffin on your plate. After closing your eyes, you sigh heavily and ultimately regret your life choices that lead to your headache and tired eyes.

Seungmin shook his head, “I wasn't even going to say anything. You’re a brat in the mornings, you know that right?”

“Mmmhm, watcha gonna do about it?” You mumble, head still lying on the table and eyes shut comfortably. After a few seconds, you got no response, “Yeah, that’s what I thought.”

Meanwhile, Seungmin wasn’t buying into your childish attitude right now. Simply resting his cheek to the palm of his hand, eyelids lowering in boredom, and with a weary sigh said, “Your robes are on inside out.”

"No, it's not you're just messing with me." You didn't even bother to check.

Seungmin stopped bothering you in favor of chatting with Jeongin. Another Ravenclaw just a year below you; he also had a knack for annoying you. You weren't surprised that he and Seungmin got along so well. Eventually, maybe a few minutes passed before your thoughts shut down, and you were snoozing away. A soothing smell drifted in the air around you, slightly mixed in with the fresh oranges and ripening bananas. It smelled very familiar, but you were too drowsy to remember the name, and it served to make you fall deeper into your morning nap.

"How does she fall asleep so quickly…" Jeongin stared at you in engrossed bafflement and proceeded to wave a hand in front of your face. He was another early bird who enjoyed teasing you about your poor life choices.

“Because she refuses to go to bed at a reasonable time,” Seungmin said, bored as if he’s been through this situation many times before. Which to his credit, he has. "She’ll start snoring soon, just wait.”

And you did, the snores were quiet at first, more like loud breathing. Jeongin raised his eyebrows, “You were right.”

Seungmin smiled a smug smile, and tapped his temple. “I know her well, later she’ll complain about how tired she still is but can’t sleep. Then the cycle will repeat.”

Seungmin then pulled out a quill, a devilish smile on hand. “I have an idea.”

Jeongin mirrored his mischievous grin, immediately recognizing the type of quill he took out. Without hesitation, Seungmin, on your exposed cheek, began to write gently. While nothing showed up at first, the quill contained disappearing ink; and that means that in about an hour the ink will become visible. Just about the time you'd be getting sleepy again, in potions class where he had to deal with your lazy ass.

Seungmin felt satisfied with his work. His little art piece wasn’t visible at the moment. But the little mustache and monocle he drew would give him a good laugh later in class. He even wrote ‘I told you so’ on your forehead, just to take a jab at you.

Eventually, you were forced to wake up. The students around you filing out of the Great Hall and through the large entrance doors, the chatter filling the castle. You lifted your head. It felt heavy as you stretched your arms out to yawn. Drowsy and your vision still blurry, you picked up your muffin and quickly began to eat. You sat there for a moment, letting your sleepiness slowly fade away. Only then did you freeze Seungmin and jeongin left you there, you pursed your lips and puffed your cheeks out. But you should've expected it, it always annoyed Seungmin when your lousy sleeping habits caught up to you, and you knew it.

You shook it off though as Seungmin just being Seungmin and stared dully at the seat he sat in across from you. He had a half-filled plate of breakfast food leftover, and you really just thought of why he would grab so much if he didn't even eat it. But one thing caught your attention, making you do a double-take. A funny feeling began to settle in the pit of your stomach. Your eyes stuck on the teacup across from you as the gears in your head work hard. The silence as the room emptied out only amplified the thoughts in your mind.

Seungmin's tea was jasmine, he always drank a cup in the morning and before bed. Although Seungmin drinks a lot of tea throughout the day, jasmine is his favorite. It was usually routine for him to start and end the day with it. And well, you always liked the smell of it; since you associated it with good memories and Seungmin. You recognized it as the smell that so easily put you to sleep this morning. And you also recognized it as the last thing you smelled in Amortentia.

It wasn't hard to put two and two together, but it was a jarring revelation. Did you love Seungmin? Of course, you would say yes, but to think of him romantically gave you a funny feeling in your chest. You blinked at the teacup in front of you, trying to decipher what this meant for you. If somebody asked how you felt, you wouldn't be able to answer clearly. It was as if that warm, fuzzy feeling right now was also constricting. Your breathing was heightened, and there was a pressure in your abdomen. The most honest answer you could say was that your feelings were mixed.

"Miss," there was a tap on your shoulder, breaking you from your thoughts. You blink wildly as if torn from a daze and stare at the professor in front of you, slightly baffled. She looks at you softly, "it's time to go to class hun."

"Oh," you reply dumbly. But hearing the awkward sound quickly brought you back to your senses. "Oh, yes of course. I'm sorry professor, I guess I'm still waking up. It's not an easy morning I suppose."

"We all have those days, now hurry along and get to class before you're late."

"Of course, thank you" you gather your stuff and rush out of the now empty Great Hall.

You speed walked to your next class in a daze, took notes in a daze, and left the class in a daze. Seungmin. Seungmin? Maybe...but, it was Seungmin. Your best friend, Seungmin.

Which you had your next class with, and you absolutely wouldn't be able to concentrate. It was potions, which you suppose was a good thing. You were good at potions, and Professor Lee was giving out the assignments for the extra credit today. You found yourself standing in front of the potions room door, staring at the floor and thinking to yourself. You shake your head and huff, you just decide to focus on the studies for now. Worrying can wait.

You walk into potions class and take your usual seat next to Seungmin, and everything was as usual. Professor Lee began his lecture, and you and Seungmin made little comments to each other, sometimes snide and sometimes witty. He scribbled notes in his little parchment paper, bound into a notebook. You lean over towards Seungmin, boredom already creeping up on you, and start doodling on his parchment. He doesn’t even bat an eye, he’s too used to your strange doodles. At first, he always complained about the “weird muggle drawing” on his study notes. But he eventually grew to know who Spongebob was, initially asking why there was a “block of cheese with a face on it” on his paper. Being a young first year, you were horrified that he didn’t know who Spongebob was. And proceeded to explain to him what Spongebob and cartoons were. Little pureblood Seungmin was weirded out, but since you kept on drawing on his notes, he figured it was useless to keep complaining. Now he actually likes seeing your doodles on his notes, even if they weren’t that good. It was always a different person or character, and whenever a new one popped up, he would ask about it. Currently, you were doodling a bad rendition of the gang from Monsters Inc.

Seungmin glances over at you, smirks, then looks back down to continue note taking. This action makes you pause for a moment. You stare at him, waiting for him to explain to you why he looks so smug and satisfied. You can already tell this isn’t a good sign for you, to mentally prepare yourself for the worst.

“Seungmin.” You nudge him gently, “What did you do this time?”

He looks at you, eyes you a bit before looking at his paper again, a smile on his lips. “I didn’t do anything.”

“Liar.” You narrow your eyes, trying to think of the previous pranks he pulled on you. It only took a moment before the lightbulb lit above your head, your expression was one of annoyance. “You drew something on my face, didn’t you.”

“Of course not, why would I do that?” He pretends to be offended, but you knew he was satisfied on the inside. His response only confirmed your suspicions.

You grumble to yourself before trying to wipe the ink off your face, but you were sure you were just smudging it. Also hoping nobody else noticed whatever it was Seungmin decided to draw. And you could only wish it was nothing obscene. After a few minutes of trying to wipe the ink off your face, Seungmin finally took pity and began wiping it off for you. He chuckled silently to himself while doing it, though. What a little fucker.

Soon enough the professor got everyone's attention after his lecture of the day. You tuned in after a whole class period of barely listening, and it’s a good thing you did. He just started talking about the extra credit project. And so, you decide that you need to pay attention to this. Putting your thoughts away, you turned your focus towards professor Lee.

"Now, I must say I am slightly disappointed. Out of the 17 of you in this class, only 4 signed up for extra credit." Professor Lee huffed indignantly. But continued anyway. "But those who have, I’m proud to say, are quite brilliant students.”

You leaned into Seungmin and asked him in a low tone, “Did you sign up?”

He shook his head and shrugged, you pouted, a little disappointed.

“First pair, Na Jaemin and Kwon Eunbin. You two will be brewing the potion Felix Felicus. The next, and last, pair will be Hwang Hyunjin and y/f/n. And the two of you will be brewing Amortentia. Those are both complicated potions you know, and it must be done outside of class. We are much too busy in class here to work on this project. I suggest the four of you see me after class to discuss this more if you have any questions.”

Your curiosity was peaked, you twisted around in your chair to spot Hyunjin a few seats behind you. The odd boy was going to be your partner. He didn’t seem too interested, but his eyes flicked to meet yours when he sensed your gaze on him. You smiled and waved, trying to look friendly enough after what happened yesterday; maybe you came off as insensitive? Hyunjin nodded to you politely, the ghost of a smile hovered on his lips. After a moment, his attention turned back to the professor. But your gaze lingered for another second, you twisted back around after.

Seungmin nudged you, “Got a little crush, huh?”

Your jaw dropped and you smacked his arm in offense, “No, of course not. I just think he’s a little strange…”

“Strange?”

“Yea, isn’t there something off about him? He’s not mean or anything, but it’s like...like an act.”

Seungmin shook his head in denial, “I don’t see anything wrong, maybe that's just how he is.”

You thought about it for a moment, but it still bothered you. Nonetheless, the topic was dropped, and your mind clung onto another question. Was Seungmin aware of the Amortentia thing? He knew what you smelled in the potion, and Seungmin isn’t a dumb boy. Unquestionably he connected the dots and knew you smelled his jasmine tea, but for some reason just held off telling you. Or maybe he didn’t want to cause any awkward feelings because he didn’t reciprocate those feelings…

The thought of that put you down though, like your heart felt heavy just thinking of that possibility. You frowned, you were positive Seungmin knew, because you knew him well enough. He’s a smart boy. You rested your chin on your hand and tilted your head to eye Seungmin, squinting your eyes skeptically.

Of course, he noticed, not like you were hiding it anyway. He only looked at you weirdly and scoffed, amused. “What’s with the stink eye?”

“Not a stink eye, just thinking.” Your response was curt.

He pinched your nose affectionately while you swatted his hand away, “You overthink.”

“What a hypocrite, you’re a thinker too.”

“Yea, but at least I’m still grounded in reality. When you think, your heads way up there.” Seungmin looks up and points towards the sky. You purse your lips, unable to retort. And soon after, class was finishing up.

You stood from your seat, grabbed your textbooks, and waited as you leaned on the table. Eyes closed, you sigh breathily and wait for further instructions. When you open your eyes, Hyunjin was waiting as well with the same bored expression as you. The other two classmates were standing around too, it seems like none of you were particularly happy about this extra credit project. You couldn’t dwell on the thought much longer, though, because your professor stood in front of you all now, a huge gummy smile on his face. You sneak a glance at Hyunjin only to see a prominent frown on his usually indifferent face, your head tilts in curiosity.

“Hm…”

∎∎∎

Two days later and you sat in the library, not exactly enthused about Hyunjin’s tardiness. When Professor Lee explained the criteria for the extra credit a couple days ago, you and Hyunjin decided on when your first meet-up would be. And it was agreed that 6pm in the library would work. You were chewing on some oranges, a pile of the rines sitting on the table, the citrus-y scent wavering around you.

Apparently, it didn’t, because Hyunjin was thirty minutes late and your temper was increasing by the minute. You were muttering to yourself, “This boy, geez, what’s his deal. He better have a mighty good excuse for this…”

Pulling out a potions textbook, you just decide to start on your own. Doing nothing won’t get you anywhere. You probably sat there for another fifteen minutes or so before a couple chairs were pulled out and sat in. Looking up, you expected to see Hyunjin, but instead you were greeted by Jaemin and Renjun, you furrowed your eyebrows. You were friends with the two boys, Renjun was in Ravenclaw with you so it was a natural friendship. And you knew the Slytherin Jaemin through Renjun, all in the same year as you. You tilted your head and rested an arm on your textbook.

“What are you guys doing here?” You asked, a bored look in your eyes.

Jaemin whistled, pretending to be offended, “What? No ‘Hi Jaemin! Hello Renjun! It’s so nice to see you guys.’”

You rolled your eyes at him, Jaemin even fluttered his eyelashes for the extra flair. “No, since when have I ever greeted you guys like that. And you didn’t answer my question, why are you here?”

“Ah, you’re so cold to us.” Renjun chuckled, but smiled nonetheless, knowing you were just being comfortable with them. “We just needed to check up on some things. But we saw you and wanted to say hi. The real question is, why are you here and why do you look so pissy?”

“I’m doing extra credit work for potions, but, Hyunjin is supposed to do it with me and I haven’t heard from him.” You frowned, bookmarking your page and closing your textbook.

“What, really?” Jaemin looked confused, “Hyunjin was sleeping last I saw him.”

“He...was sleeping.” You repeated, irritated and about to drag him to the library by his ear if need be.

Jaemin nodded and stood up, “He’s one of my roommates. Never mentioned extra credit or anything.”

Renjun stood up with him and shrugged, “Maybe you guys will have to reschedule your study date. Wish you luck, we’ll be going now.”

“Study date?? Renjun no, no, that's not-” You tried to explain, but they walked away before you even finished your sentence. They even stole a couple of your oranges before they left. You sighed, exasperated and tired, they always teased you; they even had the nerve to steal your oranges! But your irritation caught up to you again as your head dropped and thumped onto the table. You sighed heavily as you just laid there, you figured it’s about time you pack things up. You can’t get too far without Hyunjin, and you weren’t about to do all the work and let Hyunjin slack off. This was a group project!

Just as you stood up and began packing your things away, a familiar figure rushed into the library, making a ruckus and disturbing the calm atmosphere. It was Hyunjin.

The boy basically stumbled through the door and slammed his hands against the wall to keep himself from entirely faceplanting. Somehow while still tripping over his own two feet. All of which caused a loud thud sound and all eyes on him; this provoked a violent and angry “Shhh!” from the librarian. He stood up straight and apologized, seemingly bewildered at how extra his entrance was. Then as he lifted his head up, he was able to see that most eyes were on him. Pink crept up his neck, and his usual calm demeanor was broken as he scratched the back of his neck. He quickly walked away from the entrance, trying to shake off all the eyes on him. It didn’t take long for Hyunjin to spot you and he made his way over, he let out a long, drawn out sigh. He shook his head, eyes squeezed shut for a moment as if he was trying to erase that moment from his memory.

You stood there, arms crossed and a prominent frown gracing your features. About a million questions were buzzing through your head, but first one you chose to scold him. “Why are you so late?? I was sitting here for like 45 whole minutes Hyunjin, and Jaemin comes by and tells me you were sleeping?? Really? Honestly, you better have a damn good excuse for this, this project isn’t easy, and we gotta pick it up if we want to do good on it.”

Hyunjin just stood there, mouth slightly ajar and eyes staring intently. He then stammered, “R-right sorry, I had quidditch practice before this and I got back to the dorm and just crashed… I woke up and ran here...um...”

He didn’t know what else to say. He was...flustered? Your eyebrows furrowed and your anger subsided in favor of curiosity. You’ve never seen this boy flustered before. Hyunjin always seemed level-headed and sharp, but with the way he was acting now, it was a strange new side of him.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” Hyunjin questioned, kind of worried about what you would say next. “Are you about to scold me more or…”

You looked up at him and shrugged, a glint of teasing in your eyes, “I just think you’re strange. Now let’s get started on this project, chop chop.”

Your response clearly caught him off guard. “Wh-what, wait, strange? You can’t just change the subject like that, why? Hey, don’t ignore me.”

“Come on, I already started the research for this, you gotta catch up.”

“I-what?? You started without me?”

“Um, yea, you were late so I’m not the one at fault here. Now come onnn, I wanna get started.”

“Ah...okay okay.” Hyunjin was still a little flustered and confused, but he sat down beside you anyway and looked at the textbook. It seemed like he was in deep thought, just staring dumbly at the textbooks cover. He was still processing the embarrassing moment that just took place.

You had to flip the book open to the right page, and Hyunjin’s lips formed an ‘o’. You chuckled to yourself, figuring this was going to be a bit more fun than you initially expected. Picking up an orange, you began to peel it and handed Hyunjin a piece. He took it gratefully and you plopped a bit into your mouth, savoring the flavor as you started reading the textbook with Hyunjin.

And studying with Hyunjin was...surprisingly easy. He was cooperative, and if he had any questions, he didn’t hesitate to ask. While he very swiftly regained his usual calm demeanor, it wasn’t a stubborn or cold one as you had originally thought. He was just quite a bit more aloof and quiet, not like that’s an awful thing; although, it was as though he attempted to regain his composure. Despite that, you discovered that the two of you actually got along quite well. You were actually making good progress on the research portion of this project. Note-taking and finding the right sources were a breeze, which usually weren’t in your past experiences. It was a miracle in a sense, Hyunjin was able to make good progress, even with your lazy ass occasionally getting distracted. Which he quickly turned your attention back to the problem at hand. The only thing that bothered you, sometimes Hyunjin would get a blank look on his face. It would be in between the little intervals of conversation, and he would just go blank. No facial expression but he was clearly thinking, his mind was running, but nothing was there. It normally wouldn’t bother you, it was just how he felt, right? It was just the vacant look his eyes took on, they were cold and distant. Something about it made you uncomfortable. Those moments were rare, though, and so you just carried on.

Nearly an hour later, you stretched your arms in the air, flexing your fingers out. A yawn escaped your lips as you rubbed your dreary eyes, laying your head on the table between your crossed arms. Hyunjin's condition was no different. He was leaning back in his chair, slouched and his head drooping. His hair fell over his half-lidded eyes while his arms were crossed comfortably. Sleep for these two drowsy sorcerers was imminent. The efforts of your work were splayed out across the table, messy hand-writing and orange rinds and all. Several open textbooks were stacked upon each other, the musty library smell and peaceful silence lulled you two to sleep.

The sun was beginning to set as an illustrious golden glow shown through the library windows. Rays of the intense orange glow shining spotlights upon the few library occupants remaining. As the sun sunk over the horizon, a particularly strong orange ray slowly crept its way right into Hyunjin’s face. He sneered at the disturbance of his sleep, squeezing his eyes before fluttering them open. His hand went to shield his eyes from the annoying light.

Hyunjin had to blink a couple more times to get a hold of his surroundings, temporarily forgetting where he was. But he quickly remembered whenever he was you snoozing away next to him. Your head on the table, using a textbook as a cushion. Your hair fell over your face, a strand getting caught between your lips as you snored softly. Hyunjin’s eyebrows raised curiously as he watched your lips move intermittently, you were mumbling under your breath. Sleep talking.

Hyunjin frowned. What time is it? He looked around the library, and there were simply a few students left, the sun was setting, and even the librarian was giving him a nasty side-eye. He cringed, remembering his entrance from earlier and figured it was time to go. His attention was turned back to you, he reached out and brushed the hair out of your face. Trying not to startle you, he placed his hand on your shoulder and shook gently.

"Y/n…" he prodded, but you were as still as a log, your cheek squished up against the textbook. Hyunjin prodded once more, shaking you a bit harder this time and still no response except a vague mumble of word salad from you.

"Tch, what a hypocrite," he scoffed, but there was no ill intent behind the action. He raised an eyebrow, and his lips raised as well in a smirk. Hyunjin was plotting against you. He sat up and leaned in close to you with his elbows situated on his knees.

"Hey...y/n…” Hyunjin cooed gently beside you, “Honey, I love you.”

You smiled faintly, still snoozing, but you responded nonetheless. "I love you too, Minnie…"

Hyunjin raised an eyebrow, continuing deviously, "When’s our date?"

Your eyebrows scrunched and you mumbled something incoherently. "Bu..en..mmm… you asked me out?

"Yea, to Hogsmeade, remember silly."

"Hmmm, I dunno." you trailed off, a soft snore interrupted your thoughts. "Is about time though…"

Hyunjin leaned back in his chair, his arms crossed and a smug smirk gracing his features. He was satisfied, and what he suspected was true. Amused and planning on teasing you later, Hyunjin finally woke you up for real.

You lifted your head up and yawned as you stretched your legs, "What's the time…?"

Hyunjin shrugged, looking forward he couldn't help but smile.

"What's that look for?" You sat up and turned toward him, seeing the weird smile he put on.

"Oh nothing," he shrugged, then turned his head over his shoulder, the shit eating grin wider now. "I just discovered you talk in your sleep."

A grain of dread settled into your stomach, small yet very obviously there. The unattractive feeling must've shown on your face since Hyunjin looked very amused. You gulped, a knot began to form in your throat as you muttered, embarrassed. "What did I say?"

You've often been told you slept talk. But it was mostly around your roommates in the late hours of the night, you never talked in your sleep in the day. If you did, Seungmin would've commented on it more. You were sure of that. You stared at Hyunjin expectantly, waiting for him to answer. But he only rested his elbow on the back of the uncomfortable wooden chairs and twisted his back, stretching it out.

"Ahh, that's a conversation for another day. I'm tired and my backs killing me." He whined as he stretched his back. Then rubbed his neck with a soft smile, "The library isn't very comfortable."

There was a hint of teasing in that grin. You narrowed your eyes. "Hwang Hyunjin, whatever I said stays between us, got it?"

In response, he winked and put a finger to his lips in a shushing motion. You narrowed your eyes playfully and smiled. Hyunjin stood up, the wooden chair squeaking against the floorboards, and gathered the leather-bound textbooks. Just as he turned his back toward you, he lowered his head to check the books in his arms and spoke. You noticed his hair brushed over his eyes.

“Have a good night, y/n.”

“You too.”

And so, not too long after you were sitting in the Ravenclaw common room. The tall walls lined with books from all over, old and new. Blue and bronze decorated the entire space, and the white walls stood elegantly. Exhausted and weary, but not tired enough to sleep so you just hung yourself on an armchair as Seungmin read on the floor beside you. You groaned as your head rested on the arm of the chair. Your leg draped over the opposite arm. You squeezed your eyes shut and sighed.

“Was working with him that bad?” Seungmin pulled his brows together, setting his book down and twisting around to look at you. You looked down at him, cross-legged on the floor and staring up at you. Shaking your head, you sighed again and just laid there for a moment.

“No, it wasn’t. But well, I don’t know. He’s odd.” You tried to explain, but the weariness throughout your body was impeding on your ability to think properly.

“Real descriptive.” He smiled and leaned his back against the foot of the armchair. “So, then he’s weird?”

“Well, no, but he’s not...normal? Not like it’s a bad thing, but it’s just, like he’s hiding something? I don’t know, Seungmin, like sometimes I see him and he looks so cold. And sometimes he’s so charismatic, you know?” You exasperatedly waved your hands to try to explain better, but Seungmin wasn’t even looking. He was listening, though, since he hummed thoughtfully. You continued, “I don’t know how to put it, but I can just sense something off about him. The more I think about it, the more he confuses me. You just can’t tell right away.”

Seungmin leans his head again the chair, “You’re thinking about him an awful lot.”

“Because he’s confusing.” You whined. “And now I gotta work with him for the next...oh I don’t know, a month? And it’s just going to confuse me more, it’s intellectual torture, Seungmin.”

“Oh, poor you.” Seungmin faux pouted, then let out a little laugh, “Are you sure you aren’t just, curious about him? Maybe he’s only confusing to you because you want to get to know him better. Mysteries always intrigued you.”

You pondered his words for a while, a frown settling onto your face. The sun had finally set and the only light in the common room was from the little lanterns spread about, gifting the refined room with warm orange light. Maybe Seungmin was right? But that couldn’t be the only reason to be so confused about Hyunjin. You were a naturally curious person, always have been, so it’s not impossible. In the end, you decided to drop the topic and try to go to sleep.

“Well, whatever.” You sat up and ruffled Seungmin’s hair up, “I’ll be going to bed now.”

Seungmin swatted your hand away and attempted to smooth his hair down, but it was too late. You snicker at him and stand up, making your way across the common room towards the girls' dorms. You called out, tiredly leaning onto the cold, stone walls “Goodnight, Minnie.”

“Yea, see ya.” Seungmin yawned and lifted a hand.

∎∎∎

A whole week after beginning the project, and you and Hyunjin were well on the way to making the potion. It was going very well, and in your opinion, you were beginning to befriend Hyunjin. Despite his eccentricities, he was charming to be around. It didn’t surprise you that he tended to get along with most people. While he had his moments, be it a bad mood or whatever, you tried not to dwell on it too much.

Especially since the Amortentia was looking fantastic. The potion research paper and data were all gathered and written down. All that was left was the actual brewing and then the after paper. Fun.

So, after school for four days a week, you and Hyunjin brew the Amortentia in the potions room. Which was where you were heading to, the tapping of your footsteps echoing in the spacious stone halls. The chittering of a few students accompanied the background noise. Still, you figured most students were enjoying their free, after-school leisure time and weren’t trying to wander the halls. Unlike you. Not like you minded much. You’d actually be lying if you said you weren’t looking forward to this time spent with Hyunjin, the two of you actually got along quite well.

When you arrived to the potions room, you pushed the heavy wood door open with one hand while your other carried the supplies. When your eyes shifted up, the simple yet comical sight made you bark out a laugh. You experienced a short bout of Deja Vu. Because what you found was Hyunjin standing plainly in front of the cauldron, just looking down into it. He wasn’t in any sort of natural pose, nor was he leaning his weight anywhere. Hyunjin was just standing there, arms at his sides, and looking down at the caldron as if he didn’t know what to do.

He reminded you of a sim. Like from the muggle computer games.

And it amused you very very much.

“You look like a sim!” You laughed delightfully, closing the door behind you.

Hyunjin looked at you, brows pulled together in obvious confusion. He still stood in the default sim pose. “A what?”

“A sim!” You snickered, “Like when they don’t have any instructions.”

And Hyunjin just stared at you as if you were mad. He shifted his weight onto one foot and crossed his arms, “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

You shot him a sympathetic smile and wiped a fake tear from your eye, really playing up the dramatic act in that moment. “Ah, that’s right. You, my friend, are a pureblood and unknowing of muggle luxuries. What a shame.”

Hyunjin rolled his eyes, “That doesn’t answer my question, what the hell is a sim? Like, a simulator? What kind of simulators do muggles run?”

The boy looked perplexed. It amused you.

You laid your books down on the table next to the cauldron and took out a couple quills. “Nope, it’s a uh, a game. Like on the computer so it’s digital and doesn’t have any real world effects.”

“What’s a computer?” Hyunjin looked intrigued now, tilting his head like a puppy with his soft brown puppy eyes. Why did this guy have to be so good-looking? It wasn’t good for your emotional capacities, aka your heart. You sighed.

“You have a lot to learn about the muggle world.” Shaking your head, you stirred the potion in the cauldron. “It’s a shame cause all of it really had progressed quite far.”

“Yea, but they don’t have magic, how advanced can they really b-”

You jumped, twirling 180 degrees to face Hyunjin behind you and cutting him off with a gasp, “You don’t know about memes!”

“What the fuck is a memes??”

Oh, you had so much to teach him about muggles. Which is what you did, and to your pleasant surprise, he seemed interested. He asked a lot of questions, which made you quite happy to explain to him. You rambled on about the muggle world as Hyunjin kept an open ear, all while beginning the brewing for the Amortentia. While muggles aren't as controversial to Slytherins as they used to be, many Slytherin and pureblood enthusiasts still turn their nose up at them.

Hyunjin, you were glad, was not one of them.

The first thing you taught Hyunjin was about gum of all things. You happened to have a pack on you and offered him some mint gum. You told him tons of muggles chewed it, but usually never swallowed it. He seemed a little confused at first. He didn’t complain and still seemed to like it though.

“Okay, so...today we added the ashwinder eggs and a handful of rose thorns” You read off of the instructions. “The potion needs to sit before we do much else with it, so we can continue brewing in about an hour. Then it has to sit for a whole nother day.”

You read over the specific instructions one more time to make sure and check yourself. While the potions ingredients were easily obtainable at Hogwarts, the procedures for it were incredibly tedious.

Hyunjin pulled a face mockingly, “Stir potion rigidly for ten and a half turns, let sit for five minutes before putting in sixteen rose thorns, blah blah blah.”

“Don’t be so dramatic,” You nudged him and rolled your eyes, “don’t forget who had to get the ingredients because the bat spleens made you too squeamish.”

“You can’t blame me, those are disgusting.” Hyunjin stuck his tongue out and scrunched his nose, just by remembering the smell in the supply cabinet. He sat down and made himself comfortable, throwing his leg around the back of it so he straddled the chair. He rested his chin on it and he stared at you. “I’m bored.”

You climbed onto the table, next to the cauldron and plopped down on it. Your legs hung in the air and you just shrugged at him. “There isn’t much to do other than wait.”

“Earlier…” Hyunjin began, a hint of wonderment in his voice. “You were talking about muggle games and what they do for fun. Continue with that.”

You smiled, “Well, that’s a broad topic…”

“Oh, let’s play the one. Um… Dare and Truth?” Hyunjin tilted his head and furrowed his eyebrows, then nodded to himself.

“Truth or Dare.”

“Same thing.”

Hyunjin surprised you in many ways, but you never expected to be playing truth or dare with the boy. Despite his slight confusion on how to play, it was a fun time and you ended up playing until the end. A lot more fun than you expected, actually. You’ve discovered Hyunjin was quite dramatic and a bit of a scaredy cat, refusing to partake in some of the more out-there dares you suggested. So, you were lenient on the dares since he was a newbie. Although, halfway into the hour, the game started to sound more like Would You Rather since there’s only so much two people could do with Truth or Dare.

Admittedly, you found Hyunjin very charming. He was distant in many ways, but still kind and charismatic. And oftentimes, you found yourself laughing with him. It surprised you how well the two of you connected.

“So…” Hyunjin hummed, taking his time to think of a question. “Would you rather...live as a muggle or a wizard for the rest of your life?”

You opened your mouth, then closed if after a second to think. Off the top of your head, you were about to say wizard, hands down. But as a muggle-born, your whole childhood was spent in the muggle world. Your entire family were muggles, and almost everything you knew was muggle. You loved the wizarding world, but you would most certainly feel homesick. “Um...muggle.”

Hyunjin looked surprised, “Why? That means no magic.”

He seemed perplexed, but you simply shrugged, “I love the muggle world. It’s where I grew up and where everything I know is. My family are muggles...I don’t think I could leave that behind.”

Hyunjin nodded thoughtfully, “It sounds amazing how they live so efficiently without magic…”

“It’s not as archaic as it sounds.” You laughed, “Muggles are actually very innovative. Now it’s my turn to ask you something.”

“Shoot. Oh, can I have another piece of gum?” He asked before you threw him another piece. He’s recently addicted to the mint-flavored gum you’ve been handing out. He wasn’t a big fan of gum before you, but now it just seems like he constantly asks you. The wizarding world does have gum, but it’s somewhat different from muggle gum. You guessed Hyunjin just preferred it more.

“So, would you rather risk your life for someone you love or have somebody risk their life out of love for you?” You smirked. Leaning back on the palms of your hands, you shifted; your bottom was getting uncomfortable from sitting on the tabletop for so long.

Hyunjin went silent for a moment, his expression dropped significantly. It looked conflicted and he slumped to rest his chin on the chairs back. Your smug smirk is wiped off your face as you realize you may have hit a sensitive topic for him, but you stayed silent and waited for his answer. He took his time, but he eventually looked up at you, sincerity crystal clear as he gave you your answer.

“I would rather die for love.”

The look of pure determination in his eyes caught you completely off guard. Your innocent question was answered thoughtfully by Hyunjin, who seemed to have strong feelings about it. At a loss for words, you blinked a couple times. You swallowed a sudden lump in your throat as you felt your heart thump wildly in your chest. These feelings were an unexpected turn of events, but after another moment, you smiled at him.

“That’s really endearing, I’m sure the love you feel is strong if you’re willing to risk your life for them.” You grinned warmly, then you pondered wistfully “I wonder if I could do anything like that...how that would feel to love someone so much in a moment.”

Hyunjin tore his eyes away from you, “Yea, I wonder what that feels like as well.”

∎∎∎

You sat across from Hyunjin, who was being very pouty at that moment.

Your arms were crossed, “Come on, get to work.”

He rested his chin on the table and looked at you with those big, stupid puppy dog eyes. “No.”

“We are literally in the library to do this stupid project,” You lightly whacked his shoulder, “now work.”

“I’m tired.” He whined and put his head down. His arms were splayed out on the table and pushed the numerous textbooks out of the way, ultimately messing up the study space. Hyunjin was not an easy person to motivate.

It was very late. The two of you have been in the library for four hours already, and for some reason, the Amortentia turned a weird green color. You were trying to find a way to remedy it without restarting the whole potion because it takes so long to brew. So you gathered as many potions books you could find and dropped them onto the table. All while Hyunjin attempted to work on the essay that was due with this project as well. And he was not happy with it.

“Y/n, I’m nearly dyslexic. Why did you make ME write the essay?? You’re the Ravenclaw.” He sat up and complained, throwing the quill onto the table. The light plink sound it made caused you to look up from the current book you were reading. You sighed and frowned.

“Look, I know you’re frustrated,” You then held up your textbook to face him. Allowing him to see the tragedy that was the potions book, it had itty bitty font with such confusing wording that even Shakespeare would cringe at it. “But do you REALLY want to read this horror story of a textbook. The dude who wrote this must’ve really been up his high horse. It really just sounds like a bunch of mumbo jumbo without a dictionary. He really just thinks big words and long sentences means better writing. Yikes.”

“Ah, come on it can’t be that bad.”

You gave him a look and handed him the textbook. “Okay, how about you read for a while and I’ll write?”

“Deal.” Hyunjin took the textbook and slid the parchment paper over to you, flicking it over carelessly and clearly happy to be rid of it. He obviously didn’t care much for this essay. You chuckled and shook your head.

You began by reading over what he already wrote, and it wasn’t bad, you just had to correct a few things before you started writing. Hyunjin only sat in stubborn silence, brows lowered in concentration. It’s wasn’t even ten minutes later when Hyunjin slammed the book down in frustration, “Listen, I don’t consider myself dumb. But what the hell does ‘DEFENESTRATE’ MEAN!!!???”

You calmly looked up from the paper, “The act of throwing something out of a window.”

“I’m about to throw this book out the window.” He ran a hand through his hair and took a long, heavy sigh. “Let me read it for like, ten more minutes and then we can switch back?”

“Yeah yeah, just let me know when. I bet you only last five.” You smiled and challenged him. Then got back to work, finding him a little cute.

“Yeah I’ll prove you wrong.” He muttered and began reading, this time with a dictionary on hand.

Time passed quickly, and soon ten minutes became twenty and you were getting suspicious. It was getting late and the library would be closing soon. The lights were dimming significantly as long shadows loomed through the library rows. Only about halfway done with the essay you take a quick break to see Hyunjin nose deep in the book. The worn leather bound cover clenched tight in his slender fingers as he looked slightly distressed. His hair was more ruffled up, probably from him running his hands through it a few too many times. But his expression was concerning, his lips were pulled taught and there was a heavy crease between his eyebrows. His eyes, especially, looked troubled and worried.

“Hey Hyunjin…” You called to him, concern lacing your voice.

“Hm...?” He didn’t take his nose out from the book, eyes still scanning the words of it.

“You can take a break, it’s okay. You just look...I don’t know, upset.”

Hyunjin finally looked up from the book and lowered it, you saw him swallow. His eyes darted away from you.

“What’s wrong?”

He looked at you intensely, as if he were analyzing you. Judging you. It made you fidget in your chair, shifting your weight once or twice under his burning gaze. After he looked away again, he began packing up. Quickly shoving the textbook into his bag with the rest of his supplies. He stood up, frazzled and unnerved, “I’ll check this book out, let’s get out of here and then I’ll explain.”

“Hyunjin, you’re scaring me.” You looked at him suspiciously, slowly packing your stuff up as well.

“It’s okay, I just think...I just think I know what the problem is now.” Hyunjin grabbed your hand and guided you out of the library. He took the lead since he seemed like he wanted to go somewhere specific. He was on alert and a little jumpy, walking quickly. So, you didn’t say much more and allowed him to just show you what he wanted to. Soon enough though he calmed down a little and slowed down his pace, now walking side by side with you. You were clearly confused and a little anxious, but his hand in yours calmed you a little. You weren’t sure if he just forgot to pull his hand away or if he held it deliberately, he was frazzled so it made it hard to tell. You decided not to bring it to attention.

Eventually, he pulled you around a corner and into a room you've never seen before. The door was designed differently from the other entries in the castle, it was larger. Hyunjin quickly shut it behind you and seemed to relax a little. His shoulders visibly relaxed and he took a deep breath, eyes closed.

After admiring the room, it was small. Just about half the size of a classroom but still enough room to not feel suffocated. The room was a little plain but had furniture in the middle, just a couple love seats and a coffee table. After deciding it wasn't anything special except for a lounge room, you looked to Hyunjin. You took a step towards him, "Hyunjin?"

He opened his eyes and distanced himself from the door to walk past you and sunk into one of the chairs. He motioned for you to sit across from him. And you did, waiting patiently for him to explain.

"Um...so nothings really wrong. But…" he began but trailed off soon after. As if he wasn't quite sure what to say. He folded his hands in front of him and looked to his feet.

“Then what was that all about?” You leaned forward, concerned and not quite sure of yourself. “You suddenly rushed out of the library, half-pulled me through the castle, and now we’re in a room I never knew even existed in Hogwarts.”

“Oh! About that, this is called the Room of Requirement.” Hyunjin gained a little more confidence. Seemingly to stall the inevitable conversation, he was so desperately trying to avoid. “It only appears to students who need it, and it changes depending on what the need is. And right now...I just needed a private space to talk.”

You nodded, still confused, “So it just...appears sometimes?”

“Exactly.” Hyunjin nodded and fell silent.

It stayed silent, and you just looked at him expectantly. He avoided eye contact and looked uncomfortable, shifting in his seat and fiddling with his hands.

“Hey Hyunjin…” You called, and in the most comforting voice you could, “you don’t have to tell me now if it’s this distressing for you. It’s okay, as long as you’re comfortable and when you calm dow-”

“No no, I... I want to.” He interrupted you and shook his head, but he still looked unsure of himself. Despite that, he composed himself better and calmed down. “I’m just...nervous? Maybe I’m scared.”

“You sound like you don’t know.” You said quietly.

“I’m the reason why the Amortentia isn’t working.” He said, eyes avoiding you and palms sweaty.

“Is that all?” You seemed dumbfounded, “Hyunjin, if that’s the problem then that's okay! It’s not that big of a deal, this is only a bonus project and even then, it’s not like we were going to use it anyway.”

“No no, there’s more to it. So much more.” He said delicately, choosing his words carefully. “I…”

His eyebrows furrowed as if he wasn’t sure how to continue his train of thought. He tilted his head and continued, “Do you know what happens when a child is conceived under the effects of Amortentia?”

You nodded, “Yea, the child won’t be able to feel love. That’s why Voldemort...couldn’t.”

Hyunjin frowned but nodded. “That��s right. The child can’t feel love. That-that doesn’t mean they’re inherently evil, but the feeling of love just doesn’t come to them.”

“Okay, but why did you bring this up? Voldemort’s be dead for decades.” You were thoroughly confused now. Was Hyunjin concerned about the consequences of brewing this potion? Was the potion being brewed wrong? What did he read?

“Well, turns out...if a person who was conceived under Amortentia, tries to brew it, it won’t work. The Amortentia will have the opposite effect instead...not ‘love,’ but disgust. And it turns a green color...” Hyunjin explained, much calmer now, but the nervous glint in his eyes were still present. His long fingers were fidgety and you noticed his Adam's apple bob.

“Wait, but our potion is…” Your eyes widened in realization, and your lips formed an o shape. Your eyes quickly turned sympathetic. “Oh Hyunjin…"

You quickly reassured him that it was okay and went to sit beside him. You took his one hand and held it between your own, your thumb rubbing reassuring circles over his skin. While his palms were a little shaky, he calmed down a little and proceeded to steady his breathing. Hyunjin finally got the courage to look at you, he lifted his head gently as he gauged you from behind his fringe. And you smiled, your eyes showed kindness and acceptance. You realized this explained so much about him. This was why he didn’t smell anything in the Amortentia, why he felt so cold at times, and why he wasn’t close to many people.

Hyunjin visibly relaxed, “I was afraid that you’d think I’m a monster.”

“Never, Hyunjin, I could never think that.”

“You’re unique then...most people do.” Hyunjin’s eyebrows pulled together, a sad look crossed his face as his lips tugged down. He was reminiscing, but they obviously weren’t happy memories.

You squeezed his hand in reassurance, “I don’t, and others shouldn’t either. Hyunjin, you are absolutely not a monster and people who think that just don’t understand. They...are not the end all be all.”

He nodded and smiled at you, “You know, I’m really glad I’ve met you… This might sound weird, but I don’t think I’ve felt this close to somebody before.”

“And what’s close to you?” You tilted your head, wondering what feelings he felt for you if not love.

“I can’t feel love, but it’s more like trust.” Hyunjin nodded to himself, his gaze towards the ground, “It’s like trust and safety. And I’m comfortable and happy. And well, it’s not like I don’t feel happy around our classmates, I think I get along with most people really well. But it’s kind of like...I couldn’t care less about them. And I don’t say that like I don’t see them as people, I do. But to get myself to care about them and what goes on in their lives, I just don’t.”

“Then, how am I any different?” You asked, still curious about what you did differently.

And Hyunjin only shrugged, “I just feel more comfortable with you, most people tend to say I’m cold when they try to get close to me. They would get offended that I don’t seem interested, but you just...treated me normally. You didn’t push anything and just treated me as you would anyone else. You did it with a kind heart too. I guess you could say you were very loving in a way. I think it’s something I want and seeing you in love helps me. It lets me see what being in love is like.”

“M-me, in love?” You stuttered, caught off guard at Hyunjin's sudden statement. You weren’t entirely sure what he was talking about. Maybe it was Seungmin, or perhaps it was that he noticed you were catching feelings for him. You really hoped he didn’t notice.

Hyunjin chuckled, but it sounded sad. “The relationship you have with your friend, that other Ravenclaw, Seungmin. It’s very wholesome, anybody could see the amount of love and care the two of you have for each other. It’s natural and simplistic and... I don’t know. I guess I get a little jealous.”

Feeling your face redden in embarrassment just made you even more nervous. As your heart thumped loudly, you laughed nervously. And you tried to wave off Hyunjin’s words. “How do you know I love Seungmin? He’s my best friend, of course, I love him but-”

“Remember when you were sleep talking the other day?” Hyunjin’s devilish grin made your stomach drop. He was implying that...no.

“What did I say, I swear to god if you say anything to anybody you are a dead man.”

“Just that you’ve been wanting a date with the one and only Kim Seungmin at Hogsmeade. That’s all.” He teased. Which was conflicting since he seemed much more comfortable now, but he took the liberty to tease the hell out of you.

Immediately you covered your face and buried your head in your hands. Every time you attempt to confront your feelings for Seungmin, you get too confused and flustered. So you just tended to not dwell on it, mainly since it could ruin the friendship. You didn’t want that.

“Sorry sorry,” Hyunjin was very amused and ruffled your hair up, “I’ll stop, but only because if I continue, you’d shut down completely.”

You grumbled and rolled your eyes, “You’re not wrong.”

A comfortable silence fell over the two of you, and you thought about what Hyunjin must’ve gone through in his life, it definitely couldn’t have been easy. He was scared to tell you, and you could only imagine what happened to him before to make him that nervous. It made you a little sad. You also thought about what he said about feeling jealous. He obviously wants to feel love, he wants to love somebody but physically can’t. All because of some stupid love potion. If there was a way to help him, you would.

“Hey,” Hyunjin called out gently, “what’s it like?”

“Hm?”

“What’s it like to love somebody?”

“Oh, well, it’s probably the most comforting feeling I know. And when you’re with them, the world seems a little brighter. You focus on the little things they do, and it just makes you fall even more in love, you just can’t look away. You just feel like you’re on cloud nine and you don’t want to come down. They’re on your mind a lot, and it’s a little stressful. But only because you want the best for them and for them to be happy. I would die for somebody I loved.” You thought hard and soon after the words just spilled from your mouth, you thought about your family and friends as you described it. Trying to put it into words as best as you could. And Hyunjin only nodded thoughtfully, otherwise staying silent.

“People care about you Hyunjin, I care about you.” You urged, “I hope you remember that.”

“I will, I promise y/n.”

∎∎∎

Back in the potions room, you and Hyunjin were attempting to fix the Amortentia. And he, of course, asked for mint gum.

“Okay, so, as long as I don’t touch it anymore, it should come out okay.” Hyunjin was reading the textbook, “The potion should go back to normal by the time it’s finished.”

“Sounds great.” You stirred the green Amortentia, the color was a far cry from the pearly sheen it was supposed to have. But you were going to trust Hyunjin on this and just continue brewing. So you threw in another ingredient and just went with it. “So, what now?”

Hyunjin shrugged, “Let’s play a game. Truth or Dare?”

You perked up, your lips tugged up, “Absolutely. But you can’t say no to dares anymore, got it?”

He grimaced for a split second, nose scrunching up, “Ah fine, but that rule applies to you too.”

You flashed him a toothy grin, “Easy.”

And you played. Usually, truth or dare with only two people wasn’t that fun, but Hyunjin seemed to enjoy it. And while you guys played, he asked about muggle things as you both chewed on mint gum. It was simple and it was fun, just like how it’s always been when you were with Hyunjin. You laughed as you finally got Hyunjin to participate in the dares he originally refused to do. And Hyunjin got a kick out of teasing the hell out of you. A while passed and the atmosphere calmed down a bit, it was your turn.

“Truth or Dare.”

“Um...dare.” You smiled.

Hyunjin got quiet as he thought, then a mischievous grin pulled at his lips. “Kiss me.”

“....?” You stared at him as you try to remember if you heard that right. “I... sorry what?”

“I dare you,” Hyunjin repeated as if talking to a child, the teasing glint in his eyes, “to kiss me.”

“You’re kidding,” you whined, and your cheeks began to heat up, “you’re just teasing me…”

“No, well, yes. But it’s your rule.” Hyunjin seemed to be serious about this, “You can’t back down now.”

Your eyes trailed down to his lips, then snapped back up to his eyes. Completely unaware of what his goals for this were, you were pouting and felt conflicted. On one hand, you were catching feelings for this boy, and they were getting stronger by the day. You’d be lying if you said you didn’t want to kiss him. But on the other hand, you also didn’t know why he wanted to kiss you, and there was that tiny little voice that reminded you about Seungmin. It was at the back of your conscious but it spoke up and let itself be known. You felt your palms beginning to grow sweaty and your mouth dry up, your leg began to bounce.

Hyunjin noticed your hesitation and took your hand in his, he scooted closer to you and wrapped an arm around you. He was incredibly close to you now, and as he leaned down, he was closing the distance. You were hip to hip, his one hand holding yours and the other pulled you closer. Your heart felt as if it were beating out of your chest and you were positive your ears were as red as an apple. His eyes locked onto yours, “I’ll make this easier for you, but you can’t back down. Okay?”

You swallowed nervously and fluttered your eyelashes as you looked up at him and nodded. You mumbled a quick agreement before pressing your lips to his, bringing your one hand up to cup his cheek. You were nervous, but Hyunjin was comforting for you. His touch was gentle as he held you and kissed back. The kiss was soft and delicate. Your lips moved together in just the right way. And when you finally pulled back for a breather, Hyunjin leaned back in for more. Prolonging the kiss and tightening his grip on your waist. Your hand moved to the base of his head, threading your fingers through his hair. The kiss became deeper and more fervent, the delicate touches were replaced. And you stayed like that, relishing the sudden development in your relationship, neither of you seemingly wanting to let go.

And when you finally did, you pressed your forehead against his, breathing heavily. Your eyes were on his lips, one of his best features in your opinion. Hyunjin chuckled lightly, “I enjoyed that.”

He got your attention, and you looked up into his warm eyes, and you smiled back. “Me too.”

In Hyunjin's arms, you basked in the aftermath of the kiss, and you realized one thing. Your heart was captured by this boy, and he wasn’t going to give it back. This gentle, sensitive, amazing boy had your heart now, and you wouldn’t have had it any other way. After weeks of slowly building your feelings up, he swept it from your hands and held it carefully. As you locked eyes with Hyunjin, all your feelings were communicated to him. Feelings of love, caring, and understanding. Hyunjin understood completely, and as if a final promise to you, to keep your heart safe with him, he pressed his warm lips to your forehead. A sweet, gentle kiss to protect you as best he could. And you would like to believe Hyunjin gave a piece of himself to you as well.

And then you understood. Your heart was too far gone to go back to the way it was before.

a/n: WOW it’s finally done, and it’s only part one hahahaha. I have a lot planned for this and i reaaaaally love this. I hope yall love it as well, it took a lot of effort. And I’m kinda glad I got it out near Christmas, kinda like a gift :)

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bltngames · 3 years

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The Balan Wonderworld demo came out yesterday. If you haven’t been keeping up with this, it’s a game by Yuji Naka and Naoto Ohshima, two of the original creators of Sonic the Hedgehog. A lot of that original team has gone on to do solo work outside of Sega, but this is the first time two former members of Sonic Team have gotten back together to make a new game.

If the demo is anything to go by, Balan Wonderworld (which I keep trying to type as “Balan Wonderland,” because it has a much nicer rhythm to it) is a game that lives deep in the shadow of NiGHTS into Dreams and Sonic the Hedgehog. It is very clearly trying to be an “Old School Sonic Team” experience, which it... sort of succeeds at, for better and worse.

This feels like a game they ripped straight out of 1995, warts and all, and remastered it with modern-ish graphics. I say “modern-ish” because in broad strokes, I think Balan looks pretty good. The character designs are charming, the level themes are interesting, but if you really stop and look at the game, it’s honestly pretty ugly, with simple lighting, limited detail and blurry textures.

One gets the impression maybe that’s because Balan is on everything -- Playstation, Xbox, PC, and even Switch. The gross texture work could be to squeeze the game down for Nintendo’s handheld, but apparently it runs extremely poorly there. On the PS4 Pro, it sticks pretty closely to 60fps, though there are occasionally hiccups here and there. Nothing worth fretting over, honestly.

But how does it play?

This is where the shadow of Sonic the Hedgehog looms large. Balan is designed to be simplistic to a fault: You get one button to control your character. Or, more specifically, every button on your controller will do the same thing (for the most part). This is right out of the Sonic handbook, as that game was also designed to be operable with only one button, as well.

Now, what your one button does can change. Scattered around levels are different costumes for your character to put on, and each costume has its own unique ability. The full version of Balan promises 80 different costumes, and there’s probably half a dozen in the demo. Each one serves a unique purpose, and some of them don’t even have the ability to jump. Which is fine, mostly, because you can carry a stock of three costumes with you that you can swap between sort of like the team mechanics in Sonic Heroes. Once you finish a level, those costumes get added to your dressing room, allowing you to customize a loadout of costumes at any checkpoint.

On paper, that much sounds fine. But this is where things start getting weird.

Costumes are not freely available to pick up. The jewels that hold costumes are locked with a key. This creates an obvious gameplay loop: find key, unlock costume, use costume to solve puzzle, right? Right.

Except that, at least in the demo, most keys are only a few feet away from any given costume jewel. On top of that, keys respawn. Crack open a costume jewel, grab the costume, but hang out for a little while and eventually the key will reappear. In doing this, you can stock up on keys early on in a level, smoothing out the process of acquiring new costumes as you go. I’m not sure why Balan does this. The time between key respawns is a few seconds too many -- just enough that it starts to feel tedious. But, as far as I can tell, there is no penalty for farming up a bunch of keys from the first key spawn point, either. It’s the worst of both worlds. If it was trying to be convenient, keys would spawn more quickly, but if it was trying to plan puzzles around acquiring keys, you can completely side step that by just waiting it out and hoarding keys early on.

You’ll not only want to hoard keys, but hoard costumes, as well. If you’re unlucky enough to take damage or even die while wearing a costume, it’s gone. You can build up stocks of costumes so you’ll always have spares to pull out of the dressing room, but that requires you to specifically go out of your way to get duplicates and bank them. If you don’t, you might find yourself at a puzzle that requires a specific costume that you simply don’t have anymore. When that happens, your only recourse is to backtrack in the hopes of finding a crystal that contains the costume you need, and characters in Balan aren’t exactly fast moving.

The chances of you losing a costume seem pretty low, admittedly. Balan Wonderworld doesn’t really seem like it’s aiming for anything resembling difficulty. Enemies exist, but only in very small numbers, and they’re easily dispatched. Most of the game is more about exploring the dream-like environments and playing around with the various costume abilities in order to solve basic puzzles.

You aren’t working against a clock, there isn’t a scoring system, and you usually aren’t being graded on your performance. Talking it over with some others, the vibe is that this could be a good game for young children. It requires little in terms of controller dexterity and is generous in every sense of the word.

The primary complaint against that, I guess, is that Balan Wonderworld is a weird game. Like, “Elsa and Spider-man Finger Family Youtube Video” weird. Every level is packed full of gently dancing ghosts that phase out of existence once you get too close to them. They’re all the creatures your costumes are based on, but they don’t exist as NPCs in the world for you to touch and interact with. Like I said, they’re ghosts, and they disappear the moment you get within a few feet. Those same ghosts will suddenly materialize when you touch certain checkpoints, throwing you something of parade. They interrupt the level music and everything just to play their own special celebration song. Move more than a few feet and they will fade back out of existence again, taking their special parade song with them, never to be seen for the rest of the stage.

It lends a strangely “uncanny” feeling to the game. I think the dancing characters are meant to add a sense of carefree fun, but they look like people wearing mascot suits, doing the same basic scripted routine over, and over, and over, for eternity. They don’t look like they’re having fun, they don’t appear to be choreographed to the stage’s music, and yet there they are, eternally dancing the days away. It’s kind of eerie. They were performing before you got here, and they'll keep performing after you leave.

The demo pits you against a single boss, which is notable for being someone who has the same powers you do, but combined and amped up. Seeing the same costume motifs come up in the boss as they draw from the same abilities that you have is actually a really fun idea, and the game rewards you for getting creative and swapping between costumes when you deal damage.

Balan Wonderland is a very odd game, and I’m not sure what to make of it. It took me a while to start wrapping my head around its aesthetic and vibes. It contains shades of something like Super Mario Odyssey to be sure, but it feels like it’s trying to elevate itself above that. Again, it’s a game living deep in the shadow of NiGHTS and Sonic, and in particular, it feels like it borrows NiGHTS’ penchant for putting artistic expression at the top ladder rung. Balan often feels like a very inscrutable sort of game, but in a way that seems to be reaching for some kind of greater meaning beyond simply gameplay. Everything in Balan feels like it might be conveying a message of some sort, even if it’s not immediately apparent. Its ideas do not come from a vacuum.

But here’s the deal: even though a lot of people couldn’t grok NiGHTS into Dreams, I did. I love that game to death. But with Balan Wonderworld, even I’m often left scratching my head. Despite its dead-simple gameplay, it may be just a little too high concept for its own good.

But at the end of the day, it’s not a game I hate. It’s strange, and charming, and even if it feels sort of impenetrably "artistic," at least that makes it interesting. The simple gameplay works its magic, making it an easy game to drop in to even if you don’t necessarily understand what you’re looking at.

Like, what’s the deal with the “Isle o’ Tims” between levels? It kind of has the vibe of a chao garden from Sonic Adventure, but the individual “tims” creatures don’t seem to have statistics or anything like that. You feed them so they crank a wheel, which builds a tower that helps them crank the wheel better. It turns in to a bizarre sort of perpetual motion machine. To what end? I don’t know. And what exactly is Balan himself, anyway? Some of his visual cues call to mind character designs for NiGHTS, but he appears to be a different sort of creature altogether. There’s a rather lengthy intro FMV, as you can no doubt see from the Youtube embed, but it’s more about swirling colors and hyperactive animation than conveying what’s going on or who Balan is. How much of this is even really happening, and how much of it is purely metaphysical? It’s very unclear.

I’ll be interested in seeing how the full version of Balan Wonderworld fares. I get the distinct impression that this will be another NiGHTS -- a game beloved by a core audience of hardcore fans, but shunned for being “too weird” by the populace at large.

I’m not quite sure which group I belong to yet.

#balan wonderworld #square-enix #arzest #yuji naka #naoto ohshima #NiGHTS into Dreams #Sonic the Hedgehog #demo #Playstation #video #writing #preview

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natromanxoff · 3 years

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Here is the interview that has been translated by Google, from the link ‘1′ on this post:

After Freddie Mercury visited Zagreb, it was clear why he was leading two big guys everywhere

By YugoPapir

TODAY, exactly 25 years ago , the great Freddie Mercury passed away , and on that occasion we remember his visit to Zagreb and the interview he gave on that occasion. It was back in 1979 ...

"In a situation of useless concert rock scene (such as at least Belgrade), an interview with one of the world's famous rock stars is a special event. However, although the man is not in a position to choose and has no experience with Jagger, Lennon or Dylan, these conversations are sometimes it comes down to the usual routine of exchanging questions and answers ... Kind me, kind respondent ... I smile, the respondent smiles I ask a question, I know the answer in advance.

Hand on heart, that was exactly what the conversation with the first man of the Queen group was like. Despite the millions of records sold, the sound clearly defined and the status of the stars, the guys from the group do not have a particularly interesting "story" behind them. The only way to do something extraordinary is to try to provoke the interlocutor, but one usually doesn't have the opportunity to do so in such "serially" organized meetings between stars and the press, where a bunch of idle idlers are dragged around without much smarter work in mind.

The press conference was held in "Intercontinental" full of boring luxury and, on this occasion, unusual teams. After a short wait (the stars are always late), the Queen appeared, dressed as employees of an English insurance company on vacation.

After a few moments of doubt, various guys of unknown faces and occupations attacked them. Of course the main victim was Mercury. Honestly, I didn’t expect so many people with tape recorders, notebooks and similar supplies. It is not only clear to me where they will be able to place all this, because I have not seen the results of that journalistic attack anywhere except in "Polet" from an interview done on another occasion.

Maybe it's better not to publish it anywhere because I heard so much nonsense and ignorance in a short time that I felt pity for poor Freddy. Now it is clear to me why he is taking with him two guys, as if removed from the mountain, who were strategically arranged around the front door during the whole press conference.

And finally when the crowd subsided I seized the opportunity to talk to Mercury.

Not particularly tall, black, in a leather jacket and jeans, he looked more like one of the tappers in front of Belgrade cinemas than the world-famous rock old man. Stoic accepted to give an interview for "Jukebox", although over time he approved and became somewhat more exhaustive. I probably bothered him less than the others.

As usual, I started from the beginning ...

"It's a long story. Brian, Roger and I knew each other since we were students. John came later. We had experiences with earlier bands where we played as high school students. When we created Queen we had a clear idea of what we wanted to do and our work today is the evolution of these plans and dreams.We had a very clear guiding star.From the very beginning.

Is it still clear that guiding star after all these successes and millions of records sold?

Why not. The halls where we play are always full, the records are on the charts. Why not?

From the articles we read about you, it could not be said that the critics really like you. What does it look like to be in one of the world’s leading rock bands while at the same time reading how records are being ruthlessly denigrated?

This is the case only with the English press. It could not be said that we live in the best relationship with them. The English today have no choice but to be cynical, which is why the press is like that to us. That’s why you can rarely read our interview at NME or Melody Maker. There is no point in us being a training ground for them. We learned to live with it and, you know, I didn’t care too much about it. Our records sell well. In recent years, a big thing has happened with punk, and we are understood as the total opposite.

One of the main drawbacks is the dependence on technology. Your records are lavishly produced to perfection ...

You can't survive without technology today. Loudspeakers, light instruments and the most ordinary rock band look like an LP&P to a folk group or a symphony orchestra ... Even today they can't survive without technology. Electricity is all around us and you can't avoid it. The production on our records is rich, but I don’t think it’s an end in itself as many want to present. I play a plain piano, John a plain “Fender bass,” only Brian has special “pranks” that I make myself, but that’s not overdone either. The most important thing is that it is all in the service of the idea.

You are all college educated. Do you think that had an impact on this direction of the group. I have noticed that there are prejudices in English newspapers about such groups, in fact about groups that originated from such an environment, starting from “Genesis” onwards?

First of all, we don't have much to do with "Genesis", then such prejudices are the most common nonsense. I don't see any purpose for them. I don't even know that being in college automatically makes us intellectuals.

I have no doubt that you spend a lot of time in the studio preparing the album, that's obvious. You've created some kind of art since filming (interrupts me) ...

We record, than what. That's what everyone does! But we made a style out of it. We do everything in a special way and I think there is imagination. It's specificity, not covering up weaknesses or something like that ... We don't even try to reproduce the sound from our records ... It's hours and hours of work and there are hundreds and hundreds of recorded sections.

The record is one thing, and the concert is quite another. Although some people pass it on to us as a flaw, we are very happy with their gig. It would be a tedious and boring job to always play the same ... At one time we were thinking of introducing assistant musicians to our performances, but I don't think that would work. It is our music and we understand it best. Such a way would only bring us unnecessary problems and obligations.

Can any significant changes in your sound and direction be expected on the next panels. There is a lot of criticism that you got into a certain "gyre" ...

Again about the critics ... we care the least about them! We have created a certain sound, success, image and that is what we are. It is logical for the group to evolve slowly ... It would be stupid to try something radically different ... And that is what the "scribblers" expect to have something to fill the newspaper with. Drastic changes lead nowhere and make no sense. You can't become something else overnight ...

Normally we will change. Whoever has followed our work so far is clear in which direction. This is also evident from our latest albums. There is no longer as much luxury as at "Opera" or "Racing" ... I think that our next albums will develop in that direction.

The group "Queen" is considered to be a very stable formation. No sharper disagreements were heard, and only the drummer had solo outings. Should we expect new solo projects and do they pose a danger to the group?

Although Roger has a lot of experience with solo attempts, I don't see any danger in that for the group "Queen". I think the best we can provide, we provide together. Solo attempts are just a small change of climate and refreshment. There is no special need to try our luck outside the team. When we realize we have nowhere else to go, the group disbands - there are no illusions that it won’t come and we don’t even think about it.

Do you have any information about your audience in Yugoslavia, and does the sale of records in our small market mean anything to you financially?

Well, I've heard from people in our company that we sell a lot of records. Do you see these gold and silver plates we got here? Also, we care that our music is heard all over the world, that everyone listens to it, that's why we perform so much. One should not be blasé ... It is not only important for us to be popular in England, America and Japan ... People are the same everywhere and we like to play for them ... This is just rock'n'roll after all ... "

Interviewed by: Branko Vukojević, filmed by: Dražen Kalenić (Jukebox, 1979)

#queen #queen band #freddie mercury

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popculturebuffet · 3 years

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Wonder Woman 1984 Review “The Monkey’s Paw Wish of Superhero Movies”

Before we dig in, I just want to properly frame how much of a fucking disapointment this film was to me. It was thanks to the first film that I became the massive Wonder Woman fan I am today. Thanks to that movie and it’s accompanying sale, as Comixology likes to put sales on to tie into things as you’d expect, I tried Greg Rucka’s run on the title.. and quickly bought the second volume and will buy the third which didn’t exist yet at some point, as it’s easily one of my faviorite comics of all time, one i’ll undoubtly cover, and one that throughly sold me on the amazon princess, and throughly defined what she is to me: a compasionate warrior. Someone who WILL fight, who will take on the bad guys without hesitation, and who WILL kill if she has to.. but also someone whose compationate. Who will genuinely try to reform foes, who only kills as a last resort and not as a first option like some adaptations and the new 52 seem to think. She’s someone who in said run went out of her way to help her old friend and currently brainwashed foe Vanessa Kapetlis get cured of being the silver swan. She’s someone whose wholhe purpose for writing a book wasn’t money but simply to spread her people and her gods teachings. Someone whose , kind, noble, badass, smart and easily every bit the pure soul superman is. The run sold me on the character throughly and made me a fan to this day, one currently pouring thorugh both Rucka’s second run, and George Perez’ equally good run and one who hopes the upcoming dc relaunch means she’ll stop swapping writers every few months and get the run she deserves. I just wanted to sell how much I treasured the character now thanks to the first movie and thus how hyped beyond hype I was for this movie. It had a great cast, a great setting, cool trailers.. sure they didn’t show off the plot but it had to be good right? This couldn’t be say.. a giant, overly long mess of tangled plots, padding, terrible pacing, unfortunate implications and pedro pascal devouring the scenery in a manner galactus would be proud of right?

Well that’s what we got. After a year of hoping it’d come out some way this year, after having it delayed and after a year where MANY projects I loved were necessarily delayed due to covid... I got what I wanted. I got the movie i’d been hoping to see for months and months and months... and just like the wishes in the movie itself... it went horribly, horribly wrong. What I expected was something great as the other recent DC Movies.. what I got was a huge disapointing mess capping off a huge disapointing mess of a year. So while i’m a bit late due to contracting Covid and all the “FUN” that comes with that, I still felt like tearing into this film to figure out why I didn’t like it, what good parts it did have, and what the hell went wrong here. Spoilers and full review after the cut.

The Plot: Unlike my usual summaries I do, i’m keeping this one short and susicnt for those who haven’t seen the film: After a cold open flashback to diana’s childhood that was an omen of the boring padding to come, we get our main plot: It’s 1984 and Diana is acting in semi secret and helping out where she can. After some artifact thefts she takes a job at a museum and meets meek nerdy nerdy and office punching bag Barbra Minerva. The two strike up a kind of friendship, with Barbra wishing she could be as cool as diana especially after Diana saves her from being assaulted by a creepy random asshole.

Diana hasn’t moved on from Steve Trevor’s death in the previous film, and thus when encountering a mysterious stone wishes for him to come back. Barbra likewise wishes fto be just like diana. Meanwhile Maxwell Lord, a conman who has sold a bunch of bogus oil plots, plots to steal the stone himself and does so by seducing Barbra, and instead of wishing for more wishes, wishes to GRANT THEM instead, thus overnight making his buisness a sucess and using the inevitible monkey’s paw consequences of said wishes to benifit himself. Meanwhile Diana is reunited with Steve who for some reason has hyjacked someone elses body, and even has sex with Diana in it which is all kinds of creepy and wrong that we’ll get into soon enough. Meanwhile everyone now notices Barbara.. and she’s also gaining Diana’s powers but slowly loosing her empathy. Diana eventually finds out with Barba’s help that the stone is dangerous and it’s wishes backfire horribly, while Max continues to gain power with his as Diana chases after him, slowly loosing her own power as her consequence for the wish. You know instead of the fact her lover took someone elses body and life and they have to live with that. Eventually Max gets the power of a soverign nation and the satilte codes off the president, and plans to broadcast himslef the the world to offset his own wish consequence, his body slowly failing, by taking other people’s health. Steve urges Diana to renounce her wish and give him up to get her power back, she reluctnantly and painfully does so, and then goes after Max. Barbra however has sided with max and has him give her even more power turning her into a cat person as you’d expect. Wonder woman and the now fully cat Cheetah battle, it’s really cool looking, but Diana barely wins. We do get a decent climax with Diana not fighting max, not that she can with how powerful she’s become, but using the lasso of truth to get him to see the damage he’s done, give up and go back to his son. The world is saved Diana is moving on and also Linda Carter is there for some reason.

So now you have general idea of what happens, I can dig into the films faults, and it’s one or two strengths, one at a time, ONE AT A TIME. First off the film’s biggest issue by far and one that wouldn’t come through in the recap Padding and Pacing: THIS FILM DID NOT NEED TO BE 2 hrs 41 min

I said it once before but it bears repeating now:

THIS FILM DID NOT NEED TO BE 2 HOURS AND 41 MINUTES LONG

I am a firm belivier a film should be as long or short as it needs to be. If it’s under the standard 90 minutes, that’s cool, if it’s say three hours like avengers endgame that’s cool too. After the theater it’s easy enough to watch it in chunks, and sometimes a film just NEEDS that space and scope.

This film.. did not need that. This is not the cumilation of 10 years of storytelling, as slapdashidly planned as it was till phase 3, this is a film that feels painfully long to watch due to how padded it is. You could’ve cut those 40 mintues from this film EASILY and while you wouldn’t of had a good film, sadly, you would’ve had a way more enjoyable cheesy superhero movie. I”m tackling this one first because it just.. oozes all over the film. For every great and memorable bit in the movie and every questionable one we’ll get to, for every gloriously so bad it’s good moment... there’s about 10 minutes of scene that did not need to be there. It slows down the film to a crawl and given the original had pitch perfect pacing I do not get how Patty Jenkins screwed this up.

I do think Patty Jenkins is a good director. I did like the first movie, I do think a lions share of the credit goes to her writing and direction for that one. And a LOT of the sequences in this film are utterly goregously shot and fun to watch. I also, even if I don’t like this film, am extastic she forced the stuido to pay her more money to work on the film, as she deserves as much as any male director, it’s bullshit they tried to short change her, and again she was the reason the first film was so good. She deserved equal fucking pay for making Warner money hand over fist.

But I also say this because i’m disapointed in HER. She CAN do better, she already did the first time and the only real down spot, the spotty cgi climax, was not her fault. And hell here she did get the climax she wanted, and wrote one hell of one. I”ll go into it more later but the finale of this movie from the pitch perfect fight with cheetah, dodgy face work nonwithstanding, to the final speech to the world is just gorgeous to watch. Even in this mess of a film there are some really good really tightly shot sequences that i’ll get to.. but their broken up by padding and padding nad more padding. This film is bloated, it needed to be edited down but she clearly REFUSED TO, gunshy after the whole Ares thing last time... and thus shot herself in the foot repeadtly. I sitll have some hope for the next movie and Rogue Squadron, but Jenkins rightfully lost any blind faith I had in her this film would be good just as the directors of it chapter 2 lost it by.. making a terrible sequel to a great movie. Given this happened in the span of a year you’d THINK i’d of prepared myself for that.. but no. Sadly.. no.

But back to the point of this section: the film is just really padded. A lot of it is just scenes going on longer than they need to but there are some specific bits, some recurring others all in one go, that just really get tedious and pad things out. Let’s rattle em off shall we? The Opening: Now the opening is gorgeously shot, and it is nice to see Thymesicra again.. but the sequence is twiece as long as it needed to be, often just devolves into frantic shots of running.. and really dosen’t need to be here. I love Thymesicra, I love Hipolita, I love this damn beautiful island.. but we did not need it for this one. I THOUGHT it was there because the climax would be Max and Barbra invading the island or something.. but no. It has nothing to do with the main plot other than selling the film’s message “Nothing good comes from lies and shortcuts” which is a good message.. but the film already conveys that well. For all it’s flaws it well conveys the fact that the easy way to get what you want ALWAYS comes with a cost. That you can’t always get what you want, but if you try sometimes you just might find you get what you need. So we didn’t need 10 minutes of amazons running around just to make a point that the film already makes and it wreaks of Warner wanting to put the amazons in the film because “that’s what people expect.”

Steve Trevor Dinking Around for 20 Minutes: I will admit as dumb as it was.. I really loved the Steve Trevor 80′s fashion show. Oh it was dumb.. beyond belieif.. but it’s REALLY hard to hate a good 5 minutes of chris pine putting on stupid 80′s outfits. I do think like a lot of this film it was longer than it needed to be and it defintely needed a good catchy 80′s tune alongside it, just go full bollocks if your doing this, but otherwise it’s just hard not to joy, even if in a so bad it’s good kind of way, this kind of lunacy in a major stuido film

That goodwill died quckily as the next 15 goddamn minutes, 5 for the fashion show which while i liked it did not need to be in the film as long as it was, were just steve getting used to the new world of the 80′s. While I like the idea of Steve now in Diana’s roll as stranger in a strange land, instead of using it cleverly or having him ruminate over all his friends being dead Captain America style or .. a billion other things we could’ve used this time for if you really needed it, we instead just get Steve and Diana farting around for 20 minutes and Chris Pine making stupid faces. Chris Pine deserved better than this. He seems to be a steerling person in his personal life and I seriously doubt he’s done any movie bad enough to have earned this.. I mean he did do Star Trek: Into Darkness but NONE of those films problems were his fault. It’s just really, REALLY terrible, and even more boring in padded in places than this film but without the good bits or the haminess of pedro pascal to make it even remotely watchable. Point is i’m doing a blind look, and this is blind I just came up with tihs bit while I was writing and have not looked at chris pine’s filmography before, to see if there’s anything really bad enough to justify him being put through this buffonery.

Turns out .. yeah yeah he did. Two films in fact are just bad enough that he did in fact sign on to something bad enough to justify this. There were one or two other contenders but Princess Diaries 2 was earlier in his career, Into The Woods much like Into Darkness was not his fault and honestly if I were offered a part in a glitzy hollywood adaptation of a beloved musical i’d sign on too without heistation, and while Wrinke in Time is kind of a mess, Chris Pine is easily one of the best parts of it. No the two films that make him DESERVE the goofy terrible fish out of water stuff are this means war, a film I saw throughly savaged by Matthew “Film Brain” Buck, which is about two douchey cia agents competing over a woman without thinking that MAYBE the choice is hers, and also setting up CONSTNAT SURVILENCE over her and basically stalking her to sabatoge each others dates. And while I did mention that review, because it did give context.. even from the trailer I could tell this was sexist, bro douchey, and stupid and wanted no part of it. So yeah signing on this this, post star trek’s success where he had his pick of projects and was at the hight of his fame.. is inexcusable. The other is just... the kind of embarassing dtv film a person does before they get famous but is so horrendously premised that I still can’t give it to him. Like I get needing work, I do comissions 10 for movies now and 5 for tv show episodes and issues of comics if you were curious, so I understand that.. but even at his most desperate... why would you possibly take... this?

.. wait is that Stephen Tobowsky in the credits? Good god his career is depressing some time.. but at least unlike chris I GET him being in this as he needs money and despite his long and storied career, has to take what he can get. Wheras Chris was a promsing young star who while needing a break, CAN’T of thought this would be remotely sucessful and can’t of paid that well. But since the poster might not convey the premise.. the premise is Chris is a Blind Man looking for love set up on BLIND DATES.

It sounds like a fucking Adam Sandler film premise. I’m honestly suprised he hasn’t remade this film with himself, david spade, or rob schinder, whose apparently on good terms with him again, god help us all. And DON’T. TELL. HIM. He still hasn’t made that worst film imaginable he promised for getting Snubbed for Uncut Gems. Yes I know, Hubie Halloween came out but that was in production long before the promise and not that bad. Not great, pretty average, but not terrible. Point is do not tempt Adam Sandler to remake this film. He still owes us the worst film he can muster INTENTIONALLY, as Pixels, Rediculous Six, That’s My Boy? That was all him trying to make GOOD movie. Be afraid be VERY afraid. The other point is this premise is just really bad, REALLY offensive to blind people to make being blind into a stupid punchline, and I.. will probably watch this at some point because i’m bafflingly curious about this terrible terrible thing Chris Pine probably wanted us all to forget about, but will now never have that luxury as long as I live. The Fireworks Scene: This one is just..really dumb. Like really dumb. Every bit of this scene was dumb and we could’ve just.. had them get on a plane to egypt like normal people or steal a jet off screen. So to get to Egypt, Diana and Steve steal a jet which Steve can somehow fly despite decades of progress in how planes work at this point and him not knowing what radar is. He also gets shot ot at because Diana FORGOT, somehow, that radar exists and didn’t tell him. They also steal a jet instead of just taking an airliner or her calling in a favor since while it’s been a good few decades and Etta is sadly long dead, the candy family probably knows and loves her well enough and probably still has some military personal who could pull some strings and bring a jet over from london. It’s a stretch.. but not much more than “let’s steal a plane and hope we don’t die. “

Why this is in the padding section is because we then get a way too long bit of the two flying through a field of fireworks.. which also apparently existed LONG before steve was even born, so I donn’t quite get why he’s so shocked. And while i’ts not a bad CONCEPT for a scene the fact the two are being persued by the military for stealing a jet AND have to get to egypt so urgently they had to steal the jet in the first place lest Max do something horrible, which he ends up doing anyway... to take 10 minutes to gaze at the pretty fireworks. It’s just.. a waste of time in a movie that wasted already too much time.

Some of the barbra scenes: We’ll dive more into Barbra in a bit, and this is easily the least offesnive on this list, but a lot of the scnees of her discovering her new power could’ve been compressed. There are seperate scenes of her discovering she dosen’t need glasses anymore and picking up a ton of weight at the gym, while in 80′s workout clothes because of course she is. Both of those could’ve been one, either having her pick up something heavy like nothing casually or just having her glasses fall and break at the gym, have some cute guy help her up to help sell the wish making her feel noticed, and realize she don’t need em. It’s minor in comparison, but a good chunk of her plot badly needed to be streamlined.

And those are just the main offenders. The film’s pacing in general is just attrocious. It takes half an hour for the plot to move along most of the time.. there’ ssome good character stufff but they could’ve better weaved it into the plot and in some Barbra scenes and most of Max’s they DID. It’s just for the most part there’s a lot of repttition of stuff we already knew and figured out and it takes forever for the plot to move to the next phase until the last half hour. And by then my niece was already in the kitchen playing with her new slime having enitrely checked out, my mom was asleep and my brother just wanted this film over already and both of us were only hanging in out of obligation. This film blows most of what little potetial it has taking too damn long to get to the point. As I said it’s fine for a film to be long.. but while Endgame had laggy sections and some of it’s own problems.. it USED the huge runtime effectivey, using the first hour to both show our heroes had truly lost, then to set up the post-time skip world and just what had become of our heroes and their arcs for the movies. The second hour is mostly the time heist, a fun tour through the mcu’s history that also helps progress arcs and the final act is basically one MASSIVE glorious battle featuring every single hero who hadn’t suffered a non-snap related death in one of the best big action scnenes i’ve ever seen. It was well crafted and it’s slower moments were for character stuff and not because they felt the film needed to feel as long as the rest of the year had felt. But while it was the film’s main flaw and the main reason i’ts bad instead of mediocre..there’s one other massive flaw that utterly sinks the damn film and robs of it of a lot of it’s emotional weight The Character Assassination of Diana Prince:

Now we get to the part that really pisses me off one that was already kinda bad while watching but just got worse the more I thought about it: Diana’s Charcterization here. Despite being flawless in the first film.. here it’s just bad. It’s bad and it should feel bad. I can’t fathom how Jenkins lost touch so badly with the character, and I don’t think the Co-Writer Remotley helped. The Co-Writer for this film was Geoff Johns, a dc wunderkind whose reinvented the flash, green lantern, the justice society of america and aquaman, all brilliantly. The last one was even largely the basis for his damn fun movie. I have a lot of respect for the man... but like a lot of creators he’s not immune to screwing up and has made a LOT of mistakes, the biggest being forcing Cyborg away from the titans and into the justice league not for diversity’s sake like he probably claims.. but really because he didn’t want to use John Stewart instead of Hal Jordan, who he has an odd obession with i’ve never gotten, something the incoming writer of Green Lantern, Geoffry Throne, turns out to have complained about for years, as well as apparnetly giving out about Jordan SO MANY TIMES, that an entire artcle was made revealing this... and I’m perfectly fine with that as it should be clear I don’t like Hal Jordan all that much and while he’s been in some good runs, the other earth lanterns are FAR more intersting than him and far more unique. Thankfully the new series seems to be focusing on multiple of them and while hal seems to be getting some focus, Simon and Jessica are the main stars of modern day. So hell yeah to that. Let’s get back to the actual point.

The point being that one of his weaknesses as a writer.. is he really dosen’t get Wonder Woman. He just dosen’t. During Justice League he wrote her as a violent warrior and during Infinite Crisis, as expertly pointed out by LInkara during his review of it a few years back, he had her “not understand what being human is” .. despite this being at the SAME TIME as that Greg Rucka run I mentioned, meaning at the time of Inifnite Crisis, she had her own embassy for her people set up, had written a book, and had just spent a good chunk of that run trying to free an old friend who’d been brainwashed into a psychotic killing machine from her mechanical inhancments killing her and driving her insane. She willingly blinded herself with fucking snake venom to save the world from Medusa’s gaze and avenge a child THEN went on a long and arduous quest for the gods simiply to ressurect said child, with no intent of getting her sight back and only getting it back because Athena willingly gave hers up for being so noble. She is someone who is compatsionate, empathetic and noble. Not a kill happy warrior who loves fighting and blood. She fights because she has to, she does not hesitate and she does kill when needed.. but she is not some weird enigma to humanity. She’s throughly human despite being made of clay and not raised among regular humans. She’s a person, and Geoff just dosen’t get that. He get Superman, the flash, batman, other heroes just fine. He redefined aquaman well like I said. But for some damn reason he just dosen’t get Diana and can’t get a good grasp on her and while a good choice of co writer for practically any other dc movie and a good choice to right the ship for the dceu, he was the second possible worst choice to handle this character and likely is at least partially responsible for her character taking such a nosedive. By the way just in case you think better of him for only being second worst.. this is the worst.

Yes that actually happened.. thankfully not in the main canon and likely because Frank Miller really REALLY needs to get some help.

Point is he was a bad choice and while I still give Patty Jenkins some discredit for helping with this, I do feel Geoff easily could’ve agreed with or came up with some of the worse ideas here without really thinking them through because this simply isn’t a character he cares about what happens to her or knows that well. Things START fine: in present day we get a pretty fun action sequence in a mall with what my brother called Dollar Store Micheal Keaton.. but because Max was already perfectly cast, there wasn’t room for this screen legend. Plus he was probably busy shooting Morbius for.. whatever his role is there. I hope it’s the vulture. My point is DSMK is delightfully hammy and weird and helps kick up an already fun mall sequence.. while I was apparnetly the ONLY one who enjoyed this cheesy but awesome sequence in my family aside from my niece, she hadn’t rightfully checked out at this point, I still love it. It does bring up the slight problem of Diana being active years before... but given The Suicide Squad with it’s vast colorful cast of supervillians and the fact the freaking Justice Society are getting introdcued and given their gimmick even if WWII isn’t involed this time they had to have been active for some time before they presumibly vanished. My point is the whole Zack Snyder thing of “Metahumans are new and you should fear them” has been quitely retconned out and this will all likely be explained with the whole flashpoint thing... (Shudders).. not the retcon the DCEU needs a good coat of paint and unlike the XCU I dont think their going to waste a second chance, I just want a flash film that’s actually about barry and not another adaptation of a storyline few people liked ot start with. Point is that’s not really a huge issue and I prefer DIana being active than the implication she did nothing and her doing small bits of heroisim, like saving a woman from getting hit by a car or resucing pets and bigger ones like the mall just .. fell like Diana. It’s all downhill from there though. For starters there’s Barbra. It starts well: Diana is the only person to not only notice Barbra but treat her nice, and the two strike up a friendship.. which I honeslty wish was more as there was a lot of potetial there and both have great chemistry, not to mention showing Diana’s bisexuality on screen would be a really damn good move forward for representation, but that’s more on me and given how homophobic big companies can be, i’m unsuprised Warner wouldn’t let Patty take that route.

Point is it starts well enough.. but instead of the two actually having a deep freindship and possible relationship that is heartbreaking when it’s broken.. Diana just sort of forgets about her except when she needs her for the plot, and thus what should’ve been an emotionally breaking subplot leading to an utterly heartbreaking fight at the climax.. was just Diana being a dick, taking advantage of someone, and then getting a bit self righteous when the person you basically abandoned and didn’t notice made a wish till it was too late wants to keep the one thing that’s ever made her feel special.

It dosen’t help the comics did this whole thing better and is likely where Jenkins got the inspiration: During Rebirth Barbara Minvera was converted from a vicious ruthless bitch and a half, if still a brilliant character, to a tragic figure: one who while a bit cold and standofish, was genuinely diana’s friend, tricked into thinking she was abandoned, then became the bride of a horrifying god who punsiheed her for the “crime”.. of not being a virgin. While removing the whole cat god thing is understandable.. they removed pretty much everything that made that intresting and Rucka worked hard to make for a cliche “Nerd becomes evil” plot that’s been done a milion times nad makes dsiana look horrible. But while this is bad.. it PALES in comparisoin to the elephant in the room here.

No no elephant sweetie not wild pig. No.. it’s once Diana makes her wish on the magical wishing stone form the trickster god.. and brings steve back. See her bringing him back only for her to have to give him up to save the world.. that’s not bad. It’s a great way to bring chris pine back, ratchet up tension and ultimately give her proper closure for steve so she can move on. The problem.. is HOW steve comes back and how the movie handles that. Steve comes back.. by possesing some random guy. That itself is not a bad idea, as while it’s weird, A) I’m a weirdo and proud of it so i’mf ine with weird and B) it gives us a price to the wish like the other wishes: steve comes back.. but he has to take someone else’s life to do so. Diana has to sacrifice an innocent man she dosen’t know anything about in order to get her happy ending. That could’ve lead to some great drama, with Diana realizing how wrong this is and forcing herself to give him up with Steve’s blessing, as Steve would likewise not feel right about this. He could’ve had family or a girlfriend or something that were jeaporadzied if Diana kept Steve. The problem.. is they handled it horribly. really horribly. Diana and Steve.. almost NEVER mention the fact that he’s basically taken a life. They don’t ask if the guy is dead, they don’t ask who he was and they don’t try to find a way to get him a new body or a dying one or some other ghost can’t do it style shenanigan. And the fact i’m comparing this subplot to ghost can’t do it should tell you this is very bad. And it gets worse as the two have sex.. and whiel I dind’t think about it while watching the movie... afterwords? Yeah.. that’s.. that’s rape. The guy didn’t consent to letting them use his body. Now granted if Steve could leave the body at willand the guy was like “Sure why not” then that’d be fine.. but he has no way of consenting. Sure STEVE did.. but this ain’t his property. This isn’t his body to decide who he fucks. It’s random guy whose body he stole. Hell they didn’t even stop to consider if this guy might be gay which given Diana is bisexual makes no goddamn sense. So that’s another possible layer of wrong on this sundae of what the actual hell. I mean.. how do you bungle writing so bad your main character ends up as a rapist? That’s a special kind of incompetence in 2020 I tell you.

It just turns Diana from a kind noble woman who looks out for everyone.. into a creepy asshole who willingly sacrifices some guy she dosen’t know, something a well written Diana would NEVER do, to get what she wants. This is not diana prince. This is “out of the way sperm bank” levels of charactera assasination” and the fact steve has to talk her into letting him go just makes it worst. Diana here is selifhs, unsympathetic and terrible and it brings the whole film down despite Gal Godot’s best efforts to try and make this work. She fails.. but it’s not on her as an actress, she’s terrific, but on the writing for Diana being so bad. She just comes off as selfish and irredemible and i’ts horrifying to see. As one last note Steve is reduced to more of a cutout this time, so any possible emotinal weight not already destroyed by the rape is entirley missing. Just good god they did Diana dirty for this one. And it dosen’t help her villians.. are done much better. Speaking of..

Barbra: A Mixed Cat Out of a Mixed Bag As the title should make clear Barbra is kind of a mixed bag. On the one hand.. Kristin Wiig is fantastic. Like holy crap I had some small doubts about her being cast in the role but she nailed both the sweet put upon nerd at the start and the ruthless individual desperate to stay special at the end really well and the reason her scenes aren’t as draggy despite a lot being padding are Wiig just really sells the transformation, going from being giddy at a sudden influx of attention to feeling powerful.. to feeling dangerous and being deseprate to do whatever it takes to hold onto her power and being furious when she looses it. The problem is.. it’s all in the acting. Writing wise the story is horribly cliche. It’s why her having feelings for Diana was a suggestion that popped into my head: that’s actually intresting. A put upon nerd who envy’s a hero but ends up instead resenting them and wanting to kill them isn’t new. Amazing Spider-Man 2, which I thankfully haven’t seen but has that plot, Incredibles, and the one that the movie steals from the most.. Batman Returns. While wanting to kill the hero wasn’t part of that one, the whole “blonde whose still attractive even before the makeover has some supernatural thing happen to her and turns into an extrovert with a cat motif who is determined to take what she wants despite the cost.” While i’ts not 1 for 1, mostly becasue Catwoman actually had a romantic relationship with the hero, it’s REALLY hard to ignore just how much it seems to curb from Returns. And I haven’t even seen the movie the whole way through, just about half, really need to, not the point. Point is, it just feels like a rehash of a better done version of the plot. And the sad part is the comics GAVE Patty and Geoff two much better versions that could’ve followed the same path. Pre-Rebirth/Flashpoint, she was a ruthless woman from the getgo and simply could’ve been that, being friends with Diana.. but being too selfish and envious to truly let her in and thus relishing in her new power and showing off who she really was. The other, and better option for the narrative is the previously mentioned rebirth one: A sarcastic and hard but likeable woman who has had to scrape and claw to do what she loves, which is archelogy, despite her father being vastly against it because he’s a dick. Someone who through tragic misunderstanding becomes a tragic monster. That latter version would’ve fit in perfectly, having her like diana and just want to be her.. but a combination of her own inseucrites and the stone strip away her empathy and increase her jealousy and Diana neglecting her could’ve been a concious choice: Diana being too busy with steve and stopping max to see what was happening and thus be heartbroken to fight her true friend. Instead we just get.. catwoman but less good. Wiig tries her best and often succeeds but even she can’t really fix this. It also dosen’t help that selfishness aside.. Barbra is far more sympathetic. She’s contantly put upon and ignored by her cowowkres nad even her boss, who oftne forgets she works there, and finally meets someone who seems to care.. onlyf or that person to ignore her and go off and have adventures and really horribly implicated sex. So she wishes to be like this person, to be confident and loved and able to walk in heels and strong and gets it and slowly looses who she was to it. Hell the moment where she apparently CROSSES THE LINE by possibly killing some guy.. is entirely ruined by picking the wrong target. Instead of it being her boss or one of her co workers who mockeda nd humilated her.. i’ts the same guy who tried to assault her out for revenge. She’s beating up.. a bad person. She’s doing what Diana would do in a good way..

Sure she does take a turn for the evil, after hearing about the wishing stone destroying civilizations.. she sides with max.. but she’s still more sympathetic. Her resintment of Diana which should just be the meta commentary Jenkins intended on relationships between women where it becomes competitive due to societal bullshit, instead comes off justifed. Diana abandoned her, Diana is also being selfish with her wish, diana raped a man, Diana wants Max to stop.. but has to be TALKED into letting her wish go. While Diana is trying to save the world you can’t fault Barbra for not trusting her. For someone who preaches honesty, all Diana is to Barbra is a liar. While she does side with Max who earlier manipualted her by seducing her and stealing the stone... she KNOWS he’s not a great person, and this time instead of being the used, she’s the user. She knows he can make her even STRONGER, knows he can let her keep being who she wants to be if not BETTER, and knows he needs someone on his side.. and knows he won’t screw her over with her wish since he needs Diana off his back to become powerful enough to face her. Barbra comes off as cunning, manipulative and way more likeable than the hero, instead of the tragic villian she was inteded as. If nothing else, if she shows up in the sequel I will watch it even after this one was pretty damn bad and hopefully sh’ell be better written next time to match Wiig’s hard work. Now.. i’ve saved the best for last as while i’ve compalined a lot.. there is ONE aspect of the film that is genuinely good and while I get not everyone liked it.. Is urea s hell did

Maxwell Lord: Perdo Pascal Saves this film by eating the set whole like galactus.

Maxwell Lord.. is the best part of this movie. Easily. Unlike the other main characters, he’s written well, acted well if hammy as all hell, and is true to the comics. Part of this I freely admit is that when I heard Max was a villian here I expected none of his JLI version to survivie. I should explain.. in the comics Max is defined by two diffrent phases of how he was written; The first was in Giffen and Demattis run on justice league, which was more of an action comedy with emphasis on the comedy> There was still serious stuff and villians to face, it’s just our heroes were a bunch of likeable misfits and b-list heroes doing their best while cracking jokes and disfunctionally clashing with one another. It’s good stuff. Max was the heart of that: a selfish manipulative buisness man who grew to like the league and rebelled against the robot intellegence that got him that far, earning him a fair spot on the team. Sure he was a sleazy, shady 80′s buisness man, but he has a good heart underneath the opprotunsitic nature.

Come the run up to infinite crisis despite being a metahuman, he started irationally hating metahumans, claimed to have always hated them, and set up a vast conspriacty to kill em all. He also hyjacked superman, which lead to Wonder Woman being forced to snap his neck and being booed for it by superman despite the fact you know.. she was trying to stop him from killing batman and had no other cohice. The rest of the world got the clip out of context.. but even then she’d already killed months ago for the medusa thing I mentioned before, and despite Medusa only speeking ancient greek, the world, which tihs was broadcast too hence the danger of medusa killing trillions of viewers watching at home, they got the context that Wonder Woman was the good guy and was killing for good reason. It was just.. kind of stupid even if Rucka did his best with it is what i’m saying.

Point is there were two maxes: the sleazy and manipulative but well meaning buisness man and semi-con man and the manipulative but well intentioned master mind. So the movie.. combined both beautifully. He’s a manipulator as always, having set up a ponzi scheme and getitng called out on it by what turned out to be Simon Stagg.. who for some reason is the virtious if assholish buisness man here despite in the comcis being an utterly corrupt asshole constnatly ttrying to prevent his daughter from marrying this guy

This is Metamorpho, the element man, archelogist Rex Mason who thanks to the orb of Ra turned into this guy, an embodiment of the elments who can transmute his body into anything on the perodic table. Why HE hasn’t been in a movie yet his nemisis now has been is beyond me and there are better dc businessmen to have used.

Point is this Max is shady, ambitious and sleazy.. and badly failing his scheme falling around him. But his reason for wanting to be a rich, powerful man after growing up a poor immigrant.. is utterly symapthetic. He has a son in this adaptation and wants to make him proud. I’ts CLEARLY not his only motivation, he also just wants to be proud and the finale reveals hsi father was abusive, and his classmmates alienated him for being an immigrant. He has a chip on his shoulder due to having a rough life and just wanting his moment in the sun. It makes Max relatable: His actions are NOT okay but we get why he merges with the wishing stone: because this is his shot. And most of the people he fucks over with his wishes.. are bad people. he cons some good people sure but Stagg is an asshole and the prince he cons wants to kick foreigners out of his homeland. Max, like Barbra, while not a GOOD person still is more likeable than diana. He just.. feels like Max. He’s what Max could’ve been if he gave into the power instead of fighting against it. If he'd teamed up with the alien robot thing to take over the world instead of resiting it. So while he’s a bad guy like he’s been sadly turned into in the comics.. he feels like a CONVINCING version of Max as a bad guy. Like he genuinely turned evil of his own will and his own ambition.

It also helps he’s written compitently. Unlike Diana, whose entirely miswritten to a point NO amount of good acting and no amount of Gal Godot’s talents could save, and Barbra, whose great but only because her character had too little to be great but just enough to give Kristin Wiig room to work with Gal simply did not have. Seriously I feel terrible for Gal Godot, she’s a genuinely talented actress and a genuinely kind and great person whose a LOT like Diana herself when written properly. But Pedro Pascal? Since his character isn’t too badly written, and he has room to work.. he’s allowed to just be awesome. Since I haven’t watched the Mandolorian yet, I know, I KNOW, trust me.. I KNOWWW. But since I hadn’t this was my first proper exposure to Pedro Pascal..and his talent speaks for himself. In a weak movie, he is the shining star. He’s also hammy as shit, but it WORKS because the film is redicouls. The Wishin Rock plot line and Max merging with it.. it’s bonkers. But he has just the right mix of bonkers hammy acting that’s fun to watch, and actual character work in the ham. He’s eating the scenery hand over fist, utterly devouring it.. but it fits the character as while Max was more of a subtle ham, a guy who just radiated smug and who more got into histornics when things went tits up like the time Blue Beetle and Booster Gold took the JLU’s funds to build an island resort on an island that turned out to be sentient and didn’t like that much and yes, all of that happened and it was as funny as it sounds. Point is being a showman whose always on, always talking and always got a plan.. that’s Maxwell Fucking Lord, and Pascal’s over the top acting fits that kind of character like a glove.

It also fits the film well: the film comes off more like a 2000′s superhero film, one that takes itself super seriously.. but is really, REALLY goofy in places. It honest to god feels like one of the Sam rami spider-man films, ones I REALLY need to revisit and the results of that you’ll likely see, but without the self awarness rami had.. for the first two I mean by the third with the whole saturday night fever sequence, he’d really lost it. Love the guy though, still need to watch Army of Darkness and yes you may boo me. Point is the film is bonkers and cheesy and dosne’t realize it but Pascal does so he just.. has fun with it. His haminess when asking someone for a wish, his great ways of reversing those wishes so he benifits from the consequences, taking them off the board while furthring his own goals. Max is just.. awesome, and so is pascal. He got a life long fan in me from this performance. And of all people he took his inspriation from Nick Cage which is a perfect fit as Cage is fucking great at acting absolutely batshit while still acting his ass off. Pascal really deserves full credit for this film for more than just being lovingly over the top. He’s genuinely good.

And that shines through greatly in the climax. First off the final fight between Cheetah and Wonder Woman is awesome.. just one of the best superhero fights i’ve seen on film and i’ve seen some whoppers. Great back and forth, great coreography and brutal intensitiy the whole way through with Diana being forced to possibly kill Barbra despite not wanting to hurt her. Just a hell of one. But the real centerpice is the wish vortex. Pascal just drops all pretense and goes ultra instinct ham, just letting it all hang out as he ascneds to god hood... but how he’s beaten.. is easily the most brilliant part of the film and one of the few times Gal Godot genuinely gets to show off her talent in this one: Wonder Woman defeats the bad guy not with brute force, not that she can, or some cool fight.. though we did get the cool fight too so that’s nice.. she simply uses her head and her heart. She uses her head by taking advantage of the fact max is broadcasting to the world, as villians tend to, and giving his bogus offers to whoevers listneting. So Diana counters this.. by simply speakking from the heart, enrouging those watching not to give in and to renounce the wish.. so the consequences can be renounced too. Even if it’s hard, even if it costs you.. what your doing will cost others so much more. And she finsihses this by using the Lasso of Truth on max, making him tear down his delusions about himself and see that his actions, which have caused world war III by the way as he maniupated the president.. who for some reason was not Regan. While Regan was a bastard.. that’s exactly the reason I wanted hi mthere as this film would’ve been better had one of the parts of the climax been Diana fighting a 50 foot tall rouge ronald regan. Admit it you’d see that in theaters if it was safe to go.

POint is max sees he’s only HURTING his son, that this is for HIM not for his boy.. and that if he dosen’t let this power go, if he dosen’t just accept a peaceful life and let the world spin the way it’s supposed to and not emplode jus tso he can be a god... his son will be gone. So he gives it up and goes back to his boy in a touching moment. Though for some reason his son somehow got from Max’s office to the middle of a fucking highway. How is he not dead? I dunno we’re almost done here. Point is max is easily the highlight of the film and the reason it’s not ALL horrible along with Barbra. Final Thoughts: Wonder Woman 1984.. is a disapointment. What I thought would be an easy film of the year contender.. instead ended up being an ungodly mess with unfortunate implications, a messy slapped together plot and WAYYYYY too much filler. As I said it had it’ sbright spots especially max and barbra.. but hte ultimate product is WAYYYY less than Patty Jenkins is capable of and since a third film is apparently inevitible, I can only hope next time she learns from this and does better. Also get Pedro Pascal his own Justice League international series as Max’s grandson or something YESTERDAY. Seriously even people who didn’t like this film would love it and it’s not like he can’t do this between seasons of Mando. He did We Can Be Heroes for god’s sake.. which was somehow a better film than this one. I guess 2020 had to disapoint me one last time huh? Well we’re in a new year now... and hopefully the Suicide Squad won’t also be a huge diapointment. If you enjoyed this lnog rant on a movie from a week or two ago, follow me for more. I’m currently doing retrospectives on the life and times of scrooge mcduck, scott pilgrim, grant morrisons new x-men, and i’m soon going to finish up a Darkwing Duck one focusing on Just us Justice ducks. And once they come back this year I plan on reguarlly covering Ducktales, Loud House, Owl House, Amphibia, and Final Space. So keep an eye out for that and until then, Goodbye Goodbye Goodbye.

#wonder woman #wonder woman 1984 #pedro pascal #gal godot #kristin wiig #chris pine #diana prince #cheetah #barbra minerva #maxwell lord #justice league international #dc comics #dc extended universe #hbo max #patty jenkins #steve trevor

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thattimdrakeguy · 4 years

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New 52 TEEN TITANS #3 Read Along - The fact this got made is still shocking.

It’s been a while since I done one of these. It’s probably been since last year or so. This isn’t so much of a formal review where I try my best to explain why something doesn’t work, with tons of back references, or interviews, and contexts, and such. I might do some of that, but I’m mostly just writing this along the same time I continue to read it.

I’ve already done the first two issues, and if I can I’ll link them in the post somewhere.

Basically, this series gets about everything wrong about the returning Core Four for this reboot. They made Cassie the tomboy a “girly” thief, Conner the punky flirt a creepy emotionally numb stalker, Tim the insecure dork a super genius that blew up part of a freaking skyscraper, and Bart the teen with an attention span problem into an arrogant jerkwad loudmouth.

With the origins later given in the series, the boys are revealed to not reaally be the characters we knew at all in a more literal sense. This Conner is a clone of an alternate version of Jon, not Clark and Lex. This Tim Drake, is literally only Tim Drake in name only, as that’s the name this teen got in witness protection. And this Bart Allen, isn’t even related to Barry.

So these are versions of the characters that are them in literally name only, bar Cassie (sadly). Although, they’d later retconned Tim’s origin back (which doesn’t make sense). But what else can I compare them to but the originals?

A really common criticism of this series, and one that’s pretty dang valid in my opinion. Is just how unlikable everyone is-- or at least the Core Four, because I feel like we can all be honest and say that most people just read this for the Core Four, and sometimes Bunker. (Like Bart’s condescending here. Like “I’m Kid Flash, girl.” Maybe I’m just reading it too 1940s, but it comes off as really dickish.)

I mean seriously, how many people do you know talk abut Skitter? The original characters that Lobdell came up with are really hit and miss for me, mostly miss. Because I find Skitter so forgettable, that even though I’ve read the first few issues of this series just for entertainment value, I still forget she exists. She could’ve been so much more interesting, but he just doesn’t give her much.

To me, a good character has a personality that you can notice, grab onto, and have lots of unique stories with, that simply work, not even because it causes a great drama, but just because the perspective the character will have in any situation depending on the circumstance will be interesting.

Which is one of the reasons why I find Tim an interesting character, because his perspective is one that’s very interactive with any given circumstances but will still work for me. An insecure, super hero fanboy, that’s doing his best to be brave, but is secretly scared, with the cleverness to do things, but the anxiety that he can’t. Which the circumstances they give him, like having to make sure he proves he should be Robin, having parents at home, not feeling like he’s good enough, constantly seeing others better them him. It’ll just make him an interesting perspective to read from that won’t get too repetitive in any way that interferes with the enjoyment, because there’s a lot of levels you can take his harsh feelings, or things to interact with, that it won’t always be predictable what’s going to happen with him, and you want to read to see more.

With this series and quite a bunch of other original characters made, they have soap opera writing. Which works with fleshed out characters like the iconic 80s incarnation of the Teen Titans, but when the new characters don’t have a well-formed personality that you can really grab onto and gain constant interest and intrigue from, you just have a lame duck.

When your main character’s traits are “I’m angsty and sad”. No one is going to be able to invest themselves with that. They need to be more third dimensional and genuine to make them a character you want to pick up each issue for.

This series even with the old characters fails at that, by making them into absolute butchered heaps of rotted rump rather than their full personalities.

At least the art is pretty creative early on in it’s second page, I will give it that.

Then there’s Bunker--

--who I really want to like, but just can’t find myself enjoying.

A lot of these characters I’m unfamiliar with I want to like. They’re minority characters with very interesting concepts, but writing so flat that it ruins any chance of paying attention to them. A common curse when it comes to POC and a bad writer like Lobdell.

But Bunker actually has a personality, but the reason why I can’t find myself attaching myself to him is because he feels like an uncomfortable stereotype character. An outdated one that you’d see in the 80s or 90s to either seem inclusive or use as a joke rather than a true deal character.

Bunker is a flamboyant, religious, fashion involved, gay, Latino. Something that feels like you’d really bet he wouldn’t be if he wasn’t gay or Latino, because it’s just all based in stereotypes. Like if the pages weren’t colored, and you didn’t have the context he was gay, you’d probably still guess what he’s supposed to be just because of how much they involve stereotypes with him.

However, despite the stereotypes, he is the one most people can remember from this series beyond the core four, because he at least has a personality, and they actually try to build up a unique mystery to him, that would make you want to continue to know them.

And there is something about his confidence and religious beliefs, and determination that does feel very genuine, and makes you actually like him despite the stereotypes.

You want to know what makes you able to tell he’s a better made character than the other relatively new, to straight up new characters? You can actually talk about him, and have a lot more to say about them then his backstory, two personality traits, and angst. Even if his personality seems limited at first, they still write it in a way that’s genuine enough that you can get more out of it, a lot like what I was describing with Tim earlier.

He still feels like a character that you could write a solo about, and with a good enough writer and personal life, would actually make for a very rereadable series, because you just enjoy seeing him on his journey, because it won’t always be the same exact things. He has loyal personality traits about him, but depending on his circumstances, it won’t be the same side of him you’re seeing, and it won’t feel contrived. He has potential to become a true third dimensional character, and not one that just feels like he looks like one, but isn’t really.

But that depends on where the writing goes with him-- and I can’t remember where it goes. But take away the dated stereotypes and there’s actual good potential with Bunker. Making your character feel like another decade’s minority caricature is kind of a turn off when it comes to feeling comfortable reading them.

Which is why some don’t tend to like him.

There’s not a lot to say about this quick page of Cassie, besides the fact they make her come across as apathetic and nuts. She’s also mildly sexualized given it looks like she’s posing for a fashion shoot and not just closing a door, which feels pretty typical of the team that made this book.

And because of Lobdell’s bizarre writing and tone changes, I don’t know if this is supposed to be taken as serious or comedy, because of how abrupt it is, and how a fight broke out right after and we find out the old guy is Tim somehow convincing someone he isn’t like-- 15? I think he’d be either 14 or 15, not because that’s how Lobdell intended him to be, because I believe in a now lost interview he said Tim was “probably” 16 or 17. However, they didn’t settle on Tim’s age till Damian was near thirteen, meaning Tim would’ve been either fourteen or fifteen here, depending if Damian was eleven as I remember, or ten at the start of the New 52.

And here’s some more out of character Tim, because New 52 is what you get when you skim through Red Robin without any context, and being edgy is still really popular with the teenage demographic at the time.

This is a Tim that blew up a building, is an incel towards Cassie, and is overall an arrogant prick.

How Lobdell thought anyone thought any of a good idea is beyond me, but I figure he’s just not self-aware enough to realize that he just made one of the most unlikable protagonists I’ve ever seen, and absolutely bastardized who was once a mega-fan-favorite.

Although, this is pretty cute and in-character. It’s something that definitely fits in with a classic Tim comic, but down let this make you think Lobdell knows how to write Tim, because he makes it really obvious all the time that he doesn’t really.

And that’s basically everything relevant that happens in this issue-- not a lot when you actually read it, and not just me spouting off the proverbial mouth as I try my best to mentally process this freaking comic.

Conner doesn’t even show up, most likely because he was the only one with a solo, that Lobdell was also writing (you can probably guess accurately what the quality of that was too).

A lot of it is just more of the same, and it’s tedious, although it’s tedious nature is not so much on Lobdell, as he’s said in interviews before that it was editorial or a publisher (I can’t remember to be honest) that made him not have them previously know each other. So he had to work from that.

Which goes to show just how much DC knows how their characters and teams work, given the reason why Young Justice worked so well was because Tim, Conner, and Bart, already had stories where they duo’d up, and teamed up before they were even official. Which allowed them to have a preconceived friendship, they could build dynamics that were naturally built off of their unique personalities, which made everything feel natural and good to go when they did have an official team comic.

Here you have a Tim, that’s supposed to be very much a rookie of only one year, acting like he’s the greatest protégé talent ever, searching out for metahumans and coincidentally running into them, just to make some kind of story that would explain them being together for a team.

I’m not saying they have to redo the duo stuff again, because I’m pretty sure most readers already know their dynamics, and as for new readers, it doesn’t take a lot of time to say “We’re just good friends that like hanging out” does it? They have issue zeroes for each comic for a reason, they could’ve easily had a nice summary there if they wanted.

New 52′s obsession with trying to fit everything they can in, but have everyone still be relatively new, made everything a mess.

Like isn’t it weird that Superman only started being a super hero FOUR YEARS before Tim was? Doesn’t that sound entirely too squeezed in?

Then because they messed with the characters so much it works less for old readers as well. Like they have Tim, only a year in, acting like all the out of character elements of Red Robin, with an origin that’s a Bizarro styled mirror of his original one, with nothing that made him the popular character he used to be.

Same for the others.

New 52 is partially scary, because it shows just how little they know about what made them work.

I’m not against reboots in comics as a concept, they do need some modernization, and clean-ups every now and again, but you have to keep what works in there, or else the reboot will be a total failure. And paint-jobs and fan service like Rebirth aren’t gonna work either, when the heart of it all is still just so bad.

All this is a lot easier to say in hindsight, but DC Comics really has to work towards remembering their mistakes if they actually want to get better again. They’re doing a bit better at it, as forced and contrived as it can be sometimes. So they are getting somewhere.

But this is only the start of a Didio-less era. Looking like good things are coming, and little presents that truly make it seem true, is something that’s only going to last for a little bit. They have to still do the work, and learn what worked for their characters in the first place, and reremember who they all are.

Otherwise sales will just get worse again.

But I’m genuinely hoping they’ll at least begin to learn from mistakes. No one gets a win otherwise.

Oh, and he’s the entirety of the fight advertised on the cover. “Red Robin vs. Bunker”.

They stop fighting right after this.

It’s the comic book equivalent of clickbait if I’ve ever seen it in my entire life.

#Tim Drake #Robin #Red Robin #Bart Allen #Kid Flash #Cassie Sandsmark #Wonder Girl #New 52 #Teen Titans #DC Comics #Only tagging them because odds are those are the only tags people will check

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squeeneyart · 4 years

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Breathe in the Salt - Chapter 11

AO3

Beta read by @thesnadger!

Martin wants to do the right thing.

It's time to make some phone calls.

Martin resigned himself to a day of catch up. The recent circumstances hadn’t been the most conducive to completing his work tasks, but he was employed for the time being. He would wait for the right time to reopen the can of worms upstairs and in the meantime double down on the figures in front of him. The others went to work as well, going through the records they recovered from the library and verifying some information from the storage house.

After some time, he heard Sasha ask, “Martin? This place used to be a bigger fishing town, right? Before the Lukases showed up.”

Martin thought for a moment. “I don’t think it was that great to begin with? I’m sure they didn’t help, but the problem started long before I was born. There may be some people old enough to remember when things were a bit better, but it’s always been a shaky business despite the proximity to the sea.” He paused, then asked, “Is there a reason you’re looking into this? Doesn’t sound very ghost-related.”

Sasha tapped her pen on the table. “It helps to get a timeline of major events. Even if there are coincidences, a broader historical picture often helps with places where the phenomena are… far reaching.”

“What, did the lighthouse eat all the fish?” Martin laughed, but it quickly died as he continued to think about it. “...Could it do that?”

“Doubtful,” Jon said, keeping his eyes glued to his laptop. “It’s possible the family saw an existing, natural decline in job prospects and swooped in to create an even bigger vacuum they could then fill. Nothing supernatural, just horrid people finding a good opportunity.”

Tim snorted. “While they just so happened to buy and operate a possessed lighthouse?”

Jon looked over his screen. “People can have multiple motivations. For example, Peter Lukas apparently enjoys boating and taking the possessions of others for the fun of it. The two aren’t necessarily related.” His eyes dropped back to his task.

“Fair enough. Maybe someone in the family won it in a bet, then? Swiped it from some evil lighthouse keeper.” Tim wiggled his fingers.

Martin laughed silently through his nose and went back to work, assuming his part of the conversation was completed. If he’d learned anything from the situation earlier that morning, it was to quit before weird personal details about his deadbeat fisherman dad came out and ruined the mood.

The three continued to debate possible motivations and causes, eventually trailing off and lapsing into a focused silence. The scratches of pen on paper mingled with the tapping of the keyboard. It created an arrangement that echoed over itself in a round, filling the space and tunneling upward along the staircase. Despite himself, Martin strained to hear anything that felt out of place, but he could feel no intent in the repetition. It was loud, but it was the normal, unnerving loud he’d become accustomed to over the last few months.

There wouldn’t be anything, as long as he kept the dial in the correct position. Not anything he could perceive, anyway. Were they listening, even if they couldn’t stockpile his words? Were they seething at his decision? Were they-

Martin gritted his teeth, willing himself to focus on the page in front of him. The group would call Naomi soon, and if she responded they would be one step closer to confirming his suspicions. For the time being, he would sit with his churning insides and wait.

Relief came at eleven with his lunch hour, which the others were considerate enough to wait for. He barely tasted the sandwich he’d thrown together that morning. There was a heightened atmosphere spread across him and the others, a buzz of excitement. After hours of necessary but tedious paperwork and discussion, it was time again for action.

Sasha dialed the number and waited, drumming her fingers on a pad of paper in front of her. “Available number,” she mouthed, giving a thumbs up. A few seconds passed, and she frowned and ended the call. “But, of course, it is no longer her number. I would change mine too, if people were tailing me.”

They all slumped in their chairs and braced themselves for a long, slow afternoon as Sasha looked at her pad of paper and dialed the first number on the list of many, many Naomi Hernes.

Some answered with varying levels of politeness, mostly responding with “never heard of the place” or “the name doesn’t ring any bells”. Otherwise, she left a short, scripted voicemail giving little information other than Evan’s name in hopes that Naomi would take the bait. She kept their institute out of it entirely.

When asked why, Sasha explained that this part of the investigation would have to be off record. Evidently, the Magnus Institute encouraged thorough research until it involved digging into its own benefactors. Unless they discovered a lead that didn’t implicate the Lukas family, they would be on their own.

The minutes ticked on, dragging more and more with the lack of success. After thirty minutes of fruitless calls, Sasha said, “It may take a while. We don’t know her schedule or if she’s even on this list. I was able to go off her last recorded location, but that’s about it.” Sasha leaned back in her chair, stretching her shoulders.

Jon pulled his laptop back in front of him. “We’ll need to give her time. If she’s aware of the Lukases keeping tabs on her, she’ll probably be wary of us. Keep going through the list. Tim and I will continue with the rest.”

Martin sat around for the rest of his lunch hour, losing hope with each passing call. He ought to have considered how long it could take to reach her, or that she might not answer at all. Why would she? What reason did she really have to trust a bunch of strangers?

He looked down at his phone, mindlessly flipping between apps before settling on his notes. Under Naomi’s old number was the one for Evan’s mobile, locked safely away in the storage house. Running his thumb up and down the side of his phone, he peeked up at the others through his bangs.

“I know we’re waiting to hear back from Naomi, but-” They looked at him, and he swallowed hard. “We know who it probably is, right? We have something he would know, and we could even-”

“Sorry, Martin, but that’s a big ‘no’ from me,” Tim said, crossing his arms. “If it’s him, he can wait a bit longer. If it’s not, then there could be something bad on the other side that we’re not ready to deal with, something that might even pretend to be him given the opportunity.”

There was an edge to his voice that made Martin shrink sheepishly in his seat. Tim’s face grew soft. “You want to help. I get it, but we should play it safe for now. Once we’re certain of the situation, we’ll do the heroic thing and release his trapped soul or get him out of the sound booth he’s locked himself in or whatever it is that needs to be done.”

Martin nodded glumly and looked back at his phone. After a moment, a notification popped up on the screen.

Tim: and if we get him out and hes as hot as they say he was, then who knows ;)

All the tension in Martin’s shoulders was released with a high-pitched snicker that his hand failed to stifle. The other two turned their gazes on him. Martin’s ears turned beet red at the attention he’d brought upon himself. Jon shot a suspicious glance at Tim, whose broad smile denied nothing.

By twenty minutes to four, there had been no sign of the person they were hoping for, ignoring one response by someone who thought they were being hilarious. Martin had only one task remaining before it was time to leave, and once his things were carefully packed away he walked over to the stairs and placed a hand on the rail. From behind him came the sound of chairs squeaking against hard tile.

Looking over his shoulder, he saw the three had all risen from their seats and were shooting surprised looks at each other.

Martin sighed. “I’m just going up for my normal work stuff. I won’t be touching anything I’m not supposed to.” Not that the thought hadn’t crossed his mind, but if he’d wanted to do anything there in secret, which he didn’t, there was no point in doing so when other people in the building could hear every amplified word.

“Well, I’ll be coming up anyway. Might as well get a better look at what buttons you’re pressing.” Tim jogged over, waving a hand at the other two dismissively and calling over his shoulder, “Don’t worry, I’ve got this. Keep an ear on the phone and text us if something comes up.” Jon and Sasha, who’d clearly been about to walk over and join them, sat down despite their visible apprehension. Tim started up the stairs, leaving Martin to trail behind.

Before long, Tim began to rely more and more on the handrail to keep his balance. About halfway up the stairs, he held up a hand for Martin to stop and dropped his head.

“Okay,” he said, flexing his grip on the rail. He took a moment to breath. “Okay, I’m good. Damn this place, though.”

When they reached the top, Tim faced the stairs and, at a regular speaking volume, said, “Hello? Tim Stoker to Boss Man.” He waited, then checked his phone. “Huh. Guess sound does have limits in this place. Good to know.” Tim smiled at Martin. “Let’s see those switches, then.”

Martin could see that Tim’s eye was just as drawn to the dial as Martin’s as they approached the panel. Martin slowed down his process, taking care to show Tim what he was doing with the different buttons and knobs, and Tim seemed to be taking notes on his phone.

“If it would help, I have a list of everything I do up here on my desk. My handwriting isn’t the best, but it’s legible.” Martin continued to complete the steps without thinking, allowing muscle memory to take over. “Not that I’ve looked at it super recently. I also have the version in my work contract? But that would have to wait ‘til tomorrow.”

Tim nodded, shoving his phone in his pocket. “Sounds like a plan. Who knows, maybe there’s a hidden ‘I cede my right to file a claim against any injury due to imprisoned spirits’ clause or something in the fine print.” Martin laughed weakly but said nothing. Leaning on the side of the panel, Tim looked at him. “You really think it’s the guy? Evan?”

Martin’s finger slipped, missing a button entirely. “...Yeah. I can’t think of anything else it could be? And I get it, there are some things I don’t know about-”

“Lots of things, actually. Look,” Tim stood up straight, crossing his arms. “I’m not usually the lecturing type, but you seem like a well-meaning guy, and this thing could very well be taking that from your voice and turning it back on you.” There was an unmistakable discomfort, though Tim was doing his best to look authoritative. “You’re not used to this stuff, but most of it ends up being not so nice.”

Resuming his task, Martin looked down and asked, “Have you ever… studied something like that?”

From the corner of Martin’s eye, he could see Tim shift a bit and lean against the panel again. “They’re something I’ve worked on, yeah.”

After a final flip of a switch, Martin looked back at Tim whose gaze was firmly centered on the window. Martin rolled his fingertips on the surface of the panel. “Any personal experiences or advice? For my benefit?”

Tim took some time to think, and without taking his eyes from the window responded, “If you can shut them up, make sure they stay that way.” Tim let out a breath through his nose. “And if someone’s got by one, chances are they won’t be kept alive. Once a copy is made, there’s no reason to keep the original.”

The bitter twinge in Tim’s voice warned against the questions forming on the tip of Martin’s tongue. If Tim was talking from experience, the specifics were none of Martin’s business.

“Oh.”

“Yeah.” Tim shook his head. “So, since I was the one who turned the dial, do me a favor and keep away from it?” When Martin nodded in agreement, Tim uncrossed his arms and pushed himself off the panel. “Good. It’s a deal then. Now, when we get back down, we can pretend to have had a riveting talk about how fish hate your town.”

Once they were back on the main floor, disappointment washed over Martin. “Was it too much to expect anything back so soon?” He looked through his bag, making sure he hadn’t forgotten anything.

“You get used to it.” Sasha paused from collecting some papers to watch him sulk in his corner. “Can’t tell you how many follow-up calls I’ve made that led to nothing.”

“Or all the numbers we’ve gotten that were for takeout places,” Jon grumbled.

“I dunno, I’ve been pretty lucky with numbers.” Tim winked at Sasha, who shoved some of the papers into his arms.

Martin smiled, though Tim’s comment reeked of forced levity. He zipped up his bag and walked to the door. “Let me know if anything comes up?”

“Of course.” Jon pushed himself out of his chair and walked at a brisk pace to meet him. “Could I have a word with you, before you head home?” He opened the door and gestured outside.

“Oh. Sure?” He avoided Tim’s very pointed eye contact and walked through the door. Jon followed behind with his arms wrapped around himself, his thin, long-sleeved shirt doing nothing for him in the cold. “Do you need to-”

“I’ll be back inside in a moment.” His stubbornness did nothing to protect him from the shivers. “About tonight.”

With all excitement and distraction gone, the weight that had been balancing precariously in Martin’s chest dropped to his stomach like a lead ball. “Is there a way to make this not horrible?”

Jon frowned. “I don’t know the full circumstances, but ultimately, I believe you’ll be doing the right thing.” He placed a tentative hand on Martin’s shoulder and gave it a stiff pat. He immediately retracted his hand and wrapped it back around himself, keeping his eyes on anything but Martin. “You know her better than I do. I’m sure you’ll be able to handle it.”

Martin clung to that confidence and the feeling of pressure from Jon’s hand. “Okay...” He took a large breath. “Okay. I should get going then. No point in putting it off.”

Jon nodded his head and hurried back inside, leaving Martin to walk home with more courage than he’d managed to gather for himself. As the sun drifted closer to its exit, Martin latched onto that little encouragement and thought of what to say.

“Hi, Mum. I found your skin? No, that sounds weird-”

“I know there are things I don’t understand, but-”

“Mum, I found this in the attic. I know it’s yours. Do you want to-”

“A guy from work said to give you this? Wait, no-”

And so he continued, muttering under his breath all the ways he could broach the subject without it being a complete disaster.

This could change things.

Would she scream? He’d never heard her truly scream. It wasn’t her way, but this could unlock something so much worse than he’d known. How dare he bring this to her if she’d hidden it for a good reason? That seemed a likely reaction.

Would she talk to him about her time in the water? Would she reminisce about a time before things went wrong, when he would watch her from the porch? Too hopeful to consider, but nice to think about.

Perhaps she would tell him to return it to the attic, and it would never be spoken of again. Things would be as they always were, just with a new secret to hang over them both. Another weight on their shoulders, another little barrier keeping them from being anything but what they had been for decades now.

Jon had said it would be the right thing to do. He would know about these things more than Martin, right? His word had to be worth something. No matter how she might react, this had to happen sooner or later.

The walk home sped past like nothing. The front door was before him, and then closed behind, and he felt more than ever like he was on a track, being moved from place to place without any consultation of his will. The night proceeded like clockwork, dinner prepared and completed with only his voice and the occasional terse response from his mother for filler noise. It wasn’t yet time.

The fog had rolled in thick as evening turned to night, and they looked out into it from the front porch, her breaths steady and bracing. Through his barely open eyes, Martin saw a hint of rolling waves before the salt brought out the tears and washed away his vision.

He walked his mother back inside and helped her prepare for bed. Once she was settled against the headboard, Martin coughed and began in a low, gentle tone. “Mum. Can I talk to you about something?”

She frowned, tired contempt rippling across her face. “Must you now? You’ve had all night to talk.”

Martin clenched and unclenched his teeth. “It’s important. Please, it’s...it’s about something I found in the attic.”

His mother froze, her hand gripping the quilt on her lap. Annoyance gave way to a wide, blank stare that brushed just over his shoulder. “I did not ask you to retrieve anything from there.”

Martin shrank back. “Yes, I know. I just went up to make sure there hadn’t been a-any issues with the roof after some of the rain recently since we keep some things in storage up there, and I wanted t-”

“Bring it to me. Now.” Her voice was quiet, almost too quiet for him to hear.

“Oh. Right. Of course.” Martin stood too quickly, grabbing the rickety bedside table for balance and causing a loud thump as one of its legs slammed into the ground. The dim lamp on top of it wobbled, creating unnerving shadows on the walls. He winced. “Sorry. I’ll be right back.”

He left the room and let himself breathe. Okay, he thought, this was a good thing. He walked up the stairs two at a time with his long legs, speeding down the hall while keeping his footsteps as quiet as possible. She wanted him to bring it to her. He would do as she ordered. Everything would be okay, he told himself, ignoring the strange sinking feeling in his gut.

It was where he’d left it, folded loosely in the corner to avoid any possible creasing. It pressed heavily into his hands, and he brushed off a little more dust as he walked back down the stairs. At his mother’s door, he paused and adjusted it one more time to a position he felt was the most dignified. Then, he entered the room.

She was looking out her window, through the misted glass and into the fog that surrounded their home. Her hands were limp over the quilt, one placed gently on top of the other. When the door clicked shut behind him, there was an almost imperceptible turn of her head, though he couldn’t see anything but her clenched jaw.

“Mum? I’ve brought it. Do you want me to place it on the bed? I-”

His mother turned to face him fully, and as her eyes locked onto him a torrent of pure fury slammed into his chest. He stumbled, the selkie skin almost escaping his large, clumsy hands.

“Give it to me.” Her rasping voice made Martin’s throat hurt, and her neck seemed to throb with effort. When he failed to move his legs, she forced out, “now, you stupid man!”

He tripped forward, and when he was within reach she snatched the skin from him. She clasped it to her chest just as Jon had that morning, with the same smoothing motion over its surface. Unsure of what to say, he became a statue. Every muffled intake of air burned down into his chest.

Taking in a shuddering breath, his mother whispered, “Leave.”

“What?” There was a painful crack in his voice.

“Leave me alone.”

The only thing he could see were his own near-faded footsteps as he climbed up the cliff side, the fog doing well to obscure the surrounding foliage.

He needed to be out of the damned fog. That’s why he’d fled the house, and the beach, and the crashing waves. That’s all it was down there, a house adrift in grey nothing, and he was too loud of a presence to truly give her solitude with his tramping feet on the floorboards upstairs.

It was past sundown when he reached the end of his climb, and the corner lights looked as much as they had the night before. As they had on any other night he’d spent wandering the dark, emptying streets. Pulling his coat more tightly around himself, Martin marched forward, drawn to the only other place to which he had a key.

He looked up before he could think too hard about it, and the sky bore down on him until all he could do was fall back into the gaping pit waiting just behind his heel. Had it felt like this before? Yes, it had, hadn’t it? A giant emptiness in the ground waiting to swallow him whole, and as he had seen it, so from it the vertigo had come. Only now it was polite enough to slow down and let him see the horror below.

He woke up on the ground with a groan, just outside of the florist shop. It was closed for the night, and there was no one inside or out to stare as he lifted himself out of a puddle, the arm of his coat soaked through with water. He was halfway through trying to regain some semblance of focus when he realized his glasses had fallen from his nose and were now lying on the ground beside him.

Relieved that his impaired vision was no worse than usual, he reached over to pick up his glasses. As he did so, he glimpsed at the water’s surface, and for just a moment the blurry vision of his face looked just enough like someone else. He gasped, snatching his glasses and scrambling to sit on the curb.

She’d never called Martin that. She’d had other ways of showing her frustration with him, but that… that had been for someone else. Of course. He hadn’t even thought to warn her of his re-entry, so he had gone into her room and with just that lamp by her bed the doorway must’ve been so dark-

The pounding in his head grew more fervent, and he curled into himself until he faced the ground, head between his knees. As the minutes crawled by, the pain began to subside, and eventually he was able to stand, even if there was a slight shake to his legs.

“Twenty years and still you don’t learn.”

He continued without reason, thankful for the empty road ahead, his arm going cold in its dripping sleeve.

#tma #the magnus archives #breathe in the salt #martin blackwood #jonathan sims #sasha james #timothy stoker #peter lukas #fanfic #au fanfic #selkie au #jonmartin

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poweredbydietcoke · 3 years

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Favorite books of 2020

This is normally a January or February thing...last year it was November, so May seems fitting in 2021. You can find the last few years here and here...

2020 book totals: 23 audio books 14 Kindle books 10 tree books

47 books total

I shifted a lot more of my reading this year to audiobooks, which I think is a combination of the baby (a lot of time that I could use my ears, but not my hands), more ranch work (got a nice set of ISOTunes bluetooth ear protection for running saws etc), and more solo travel time during the pandemic. I also read a lot more tree books, mostly as a result of some out-of-print titles and some baby-related gifts. And overall my reading dropped a bit, unsurprisingly.

[Reminder: these are all affiliate links, and it all goes to charity at the end of the year]

How to Have Your Second Child First: 100 Things That Would Have Been Good to Know--The First Time Around by Kerry Colburn and Rob Sorenson

When I told Bryan that we were expecting our first child, he insisted I read this book. It was fantastic, as far as parenting goes (targeted audience, obviously). But the basic message is chill out, it's going to be fine. Think about how many people do this multiple times. And all of the things you worry about for the first kid, like making it perfectly quiet for them to sleep aren't going to be possible for the second kid, so why don't you just treat the first kid the same way--it makes everybody more flexible. We've tried to put a lot of this to work with Cooper and at least so far is making our lives easier. No promises how he turns out yet. :)

Age of Ambition, Chasing Fortune in China by Evan Osnos

I’m pretty sure Scott Cannon recommended this to me a while back, I think after some of his time in China, and I really enjoyed it. I've been trying to read and understand a lot more about China these days for obvious reasons. I've started reading Sinocism by Bill Bishop. It's a lot, you have to skim it every day, or just disregard it some days, but it's got a lot of really interesting insight (at least to me) on how China is operating these days. At least I'm trying to build some sort of understanding because it feels as if it's going to be important at some point in our lives. The highlights of this book, for me, were probably starting to understand some of what are apparent contradictions in the dynamism of the entrepreneurial economy there combined with pretty aggressive state control. Sort of the way that the party is different from the state but isn't in many ways; it’s often the same thing “functionally,” at least as I understand it. The other interesting takeaway was the total aversion to a loss of control and the single overarching directive that seems to grip the party, which is no social unrest. I also read China’s Vision of Victory this year, but Age of Ambition was a better read. I’m currently working on Blockchain Chicken Farm, and while the title is better, Age of Ambition still comes out on top.

Expecting Better by Emily Oster

Love this book, and the second book by the same author, called Crib Sheet. This was given to us when we told some close friends that we were expecting and they said “Oh, this woman we worked with at University of Chicago (she's now at Cornell, I believe), wrote these books and they're very scientific, data-driven books on pregnancy,” which obviously appeal to both Lizzie and I. This one was great because it goes into the research and the studies on things like can you drink alcohol during pregnancy or not? What do you think about sort of deli meats vs sushi vs whatever in terms of how it's going to affect the baby? How much should you worry about different prenatal tests, which are the really important ones, which are the ones that have a lot of false positives, and so on. I highly, highly recommend this and in fact, have sent it to a number of friends who are now expecting kids. It really simplifies things in terms of what you need to worry about and not.

Honeybee Democracy by Thomas D. Seeley

I don't remember who recommended this, but I absolutely loved this book. It's a really fascinating (if pretty in-depth) overview of the science on honeybees. Obviously, part of this is appealing to me because Lizzie keeps honey bees here at the ranch. And we love their honey and love learning about them and seeing them in operation. But the thing that just blew me away about this book, in addition to just the detail on the explanations of how these things actually work, was how they did the study design. They would find a big offshore island that had no bees on it and actually go out and do these experiments in a “pristine” environment. Eg how did the bees decide where to set up their new hive? How did they lead or follow a swarm or anything else? And it was just brilliant...as an example, they figured out that bees like to establish hives of a certain volume, not too big, not too small. And so how do honeybees measure volume? It turns out that there are two measurements they frequently do: one is they walk around the circumference of the potential hive site, and two is they fly across it and kind of measure their flight time. And so somebody actually went to prove this and built a hive they had a “treadmill” on one wall, that they could speed up or slow down to change the perceived volume, and that did in fact change which hives were chosen by the bees. Really, really amazing book!

Educated by Tara Westover

Lizzie read this first and really loved it, and has been on my list for a little while. I finally read it and thought it was fascinating. This single story of a woman who's raised in, I think, Idaho in a very Mormon community. Fundamentalist and very conspiratorial/out there on the fringe family. And she ends up going to BYU and then studying in London and doing a bunch of stuff that kind of breaks the mold. But she talks about it as kind of an escape, and rationalizing/understanding how her parents shaped her and both the positives and negatives. One of the biggest things that was interesting to me was, and I've heard it in many ways, but this passage stuck with me: at some point, she made a little bit of money, maybe $1,000 in a single chunk rather than getting paid for a day of work. And she made the point that all of a sudden she'd never felt like that before, because she didn't have to worry minute to minute about where the money was and was going and whatever. Just an interesting reminder of the costs of all these things that many of us are lucky enough not to think about at that level. Year by year, sure, but day by day or minute by minute is a different thing.

Fire on the Mountain: The True Story of the South Canyon Fire by John N. Maclean

I think this one was recommended by Zuni, one of our neighbors. It was another post fire disaster investigation, this time for a fire in Colorado that ended up turning and claiming the lives of a bunch of Hot Shots and Smokejumpers. It was a really well researched book, very descriptive, pretty fast moving, not excruciatingly detailed, but a little bit overly detailed unless you understand this stuff, which I don't claim to. But worth reading if you live in a wildfire zone, as many of us do these days!

The Haywire Heart by Chris Case

Mark Gainey recommended this to me. It’s about how endurance athletes can develop heart conditions, from training so hard and bringing their hearts to such an unusual level in different ways, and the various arrhythmias that come from it. Also how blood pressure can be off because your heart gets so strong at pumping during anaerobic exercise, develops really strong muscles, and then your heart rate goes way too low when you’re resting/sleeping and then loses rhythm. Really interesting. I listened to it in an audio book, which wasn't quite the right format for it because you have to be really paying attention to some of the science. But it was fascinating and made me a little more thoughtful about paying attention to heart rate monitors as I get older.

Twelve hours' sleep by 12 weeks old by Suzy Giordano

A couple of people recommended this to me, Rick Morrison and Ashley Carroll were the ones that I remembered. For us it was the canonical sleep training book. It was really interesting and really good, but I don't think it works for everybody (seemingly different things work for different people, especially per Emily Oster’s research). But this is how we ended up getting Cooper to sleep well (he was largely sleeping through the night by 8 weeks, but I think that was mostly him and not us). Most of it is simply structured feeding and making sure that you can extend the time between feedings so that they can sleep longer periods of time without being really hungry. There are a bunch of really easy summaries on the web of, and the book itself was pretty tedious. I listened to it on Audible on my bike, and the number of examples like “every four hours, eg, 8a, 12p, 4p, 8p” ... I can do the math, thanks. But the method was two pages and really good. Obviously, again, doesn't matter if you don't have an infant.

My heart is Africa by Scott Griffin

Dennis Pilarinos recommended this book about a Canadian Doctor who goes and flies through Africa in his Cessna 185 (and even more adventurously, he actually flies it *to* Africa from Canada and back). Really cool fun book, some crazy stories like the usual kind of bush plane drama. Only available in paperback. I did order it somewhere random, but it was totally worth reading. Super fast and fun blending aid to Africa with flying and totally worth it. Very, very quick read but great for pilots.

The Billion Dollar Spy by David Hoffman

Alex Yakubovich recommended this to me and as always, his book recommendations are fantastic. This one was about Oleg Tolkachev and his work with the CIA while the Cold War was still going on. And all this crazy interesting information he passed and why he did it. And it was fun. It was like a spy novel that was real and exciting, but not over the top James Bond style.

Flatland by Edward Abbott Abbott

This was actually recommended by Sonia Wong at Sequoia in an interview I read with her. It's really quick and interesting, basically a story about living in two dimensions and trying to understand three- and one-dimensional worlds. How do you think about dimensionality, represented by the rules of these different, theoretical societies, if you will, that live in one or two dimensions. It's hard to describe well, but it was a really fun, interesting book, a very quick read. Even fully understanding the math of N space it was still really entertaining. I don't know if it'd be a good or bad thing for a kid to read, probably pretty good for a mathematically inclined kid. Really interesting.

The Storm Before the Calm by George Friedman

I read a lot of his work through Geopolitical Futures. I find it really interesting, just as an intellectual pursuit of understanding how the world works and how countries interact on a geopolitical level. And I've always thought his analysis is pretty insightful. He's a Polish immigrant to the United States, and a huge “patriot” in the unfortunately anachronistic sense. He writes about the four cycles he sees in US politics (institutional and socioeconomic, most importantly). And his primary argument is that in the 2020s, they're all going to end at the same time. And usually, when one of them ends, there's a little bit of pain and dislocation in the US. Historically, the US grew stronger out of it. It can grow, or it can obviously implode and cause a revolution. He thinks it'll grow stronger, and he thinks it'll largely lead to a decentralization of political power because the United States and its organizations and institutions have gotten way too complex to run centrally. Interesting parallel here to China in terms of the complexity of that organization and country, that's 4x, 5x the size population wise.

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